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wheels-of-despair · 10 months

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A Very Important Date Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Evil Woman doesn't want to make a big deal out of her birthday. However, she's dating Eddie Munson, sooo… Contains: Smoking, Disney references, implied drug use, Eddie being a perfect nerd, and a typical annoying boy, birthday shenanigans, no projection whatsoever. Words: 1.3k

"What do you wanna do for your birthday?"

"You," you smirk, ending your staring contest with the cat lurking under Eddie's van to look for his reaction. You're on the couch on his porch together, enjoying the cool evening breeze. Your legs are draped across his lap.

"I mean, obviously," he puffs out his chest smugly, playing with the frayed knee of your jeans while he smokes. "But what else?"

You shrug. Eddie sighs.

"I'm not big on birthdays."

"Why not?"

You shrug again, and reach for his cigarette. He lets you take it, then crosses his arms and looks at you expectantly. You stall with a deep drag.

"My dad used to insist on parties," you exhale. "So he could show everyone what a great parent he was. While I was sitting off to the side, watching the clock, waiting for it to be over so everybody would go away and leave me the hell alone."

"That's fucked up," he observes, after a beat.

You shrug for a third time, take another drag, and pass the cancer stick back to him.

"I just wanna hang out with you. We don't even have to do anything. We can sit here and watch shitty horror movies."

"We do that every weekend," he says with a furrowed brow.

"And I love it," you assure him.

"What if I thought of something awesome?"

"If you're there, I'm up for anything." Damn that pretty pout of his.

He grins like The Grinch, and you feel your stomach sink. Oh god, what did you just agree to?

Three days before your birthday, you were lying on your bed and reading a magazine when Eddie walked in and dangled an envelope in front of your face. You reached for it, and he jerked it away. This little game repeated three times, until you gave him a light kick, and he finally dropped it. On your face. What a gentleman.

"Do I open this now, or…?" You scooch over to make room for the pain in your ass.

"Now." He flops on his back at the foot of your bed.

"Yes, dear," you deadpan as you open it and slide out… a list. "What's this?"

"Things you need to pack for this weekend." He laces his fingers behind his head, looking pleased with himself.

"Pajamas, toothbrush, swimsuit, hat… band-aids… a paperclip… a flashlight… a loaf of bread?! Eddie, what the hell is this?"

"I told you," he grins. "Things you need to pack."

"But--"

"Trust me, dammit!" he snaps.

"FINE!" you counter. You give his side a playful nudge with your foot, and he squawks.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was that your ticklish spot?"

"No!"

"Then you won't mind if I just…" You extend your foot toward him again, and he captures it.

"Behave, or you won't get the best birthday weekend ever."

"Weekend?"

"Wayne's going on a fishing trip with one of his buddies, so we've got the castle to ourselves until Sunday evening."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really." He lets your foot go, and crawls up to lie on his side next to you. "It's been cleared with the authorities. You're mine, woman."

"And I have no say in this?" you ask, turning your head toward him.

He clutches his heart in mock hurt, pokes out his bottom lip, and activates The Puppy Eyes. "You don't want to be with me? On your most special day? After all this planning I've done?"

You roll your eyes, then lie back on your pillow and close them. Before you know what hit you, you've got a giant nerd on top of you. "I asked you a questionnn." He drags out the last word as his hands glide down your arms… and grab your wrists. He pulls them above your head and holds them there, smirking above you. "Well?"

"What was the question?"

"Doesn't matter, I'm kidnapping you anyway." He nips at your neck playfully, and you squirm and laugh. And that was that.

On Friday after Hellfire, Eddie brought you home with him.

"Stay," he ordered with a point of his finger, before he'd even removed the keys from the ignition. You responded with a mock salute. He grabbed his keys and your bag and hopped out of the van, leaving you there while he scampered inside. You could see his shadow running around in the living room. It was quite entertaining, but the suspense was killing you.

Finally, he came back out to the van and opened your door.

"Oh, am I allowed to get out now?" you tease as you slide from the seat to the ground.

"Careful, girl, or we'll get started on that birthday spanking early."

"Feelin' brave tonight, boy?" You take a playful leap at him, and he jumps back with a yelp. And then he glares, because he fell for it. Dummy.

Quick as a flash, he bends down and hauls you over his shoulder. You squeak in surprise, and again when his hand comes down on your ass. He cackles and carries you inside, dumping you on the couch.

You stand and turn in a circle and take in the strange decorations he'd littered the living room with.

Construction paper flowers. Some of his favorite mugs on the table instead of hanging on the wall. A single yellow balloon tied to a lamp. Playing cards all over the floor… wait, were those decorations, or did he knock them over while he was trying to set up whatever this was?

He rocks on the balls of his feet while he watches you take it all in. Finally, you turn to him and ask: "What the hell?"

"Evil Woman in Wonderland. Duh."

And then you get it.

The flowers that were mean to Alice. The mugs instead of a tea set. The cards that were, in fact, a decoration and not an accident.

You laugh and walk to him, circling your arms around his middle in a hug. "I love it."

"This isn't it."

"It's not?"

"Nope," he grins. He must be playing the role of the Cheshire Cat. He takes you by the shoulders and points out the things you missed; like the loaf of bread you brought, as instructed, which he's taped construction paper wings to. "Bread and butterflies!" The yellow balloon tied to the lamp? "The sun is like a toy balloon." He's put googly eyes on the broom, and the other lamp, and several things in the kitchen, for good measure. He opens a Tupperware container full of cupcakes, which say things like "Eat Me" and "Happy B-Day" in brightly colored icing. ("Your mom helped," he informs you.)

When he's shown you all of his brilliant, creative ideas that you will never, ever be able to top, you turn to him in awe.

"Eddie, this is fucking incredible."

"Still not it."

"Seriously?! How is this not it?!"

Eddie reaches for his favorite stash box, which is hidden among the mugs on the coffee table. He gets down on one knee and takes a deep breath. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

"My Evilest Woman. Love of my life. My one and only." He slowly opens the lid, and you try to remember how to breathe.

"Will you ingest these illegal substances with me and watch Alice in Wonderland?" He shows you the contents of his stash box, and you burst out laughing.

"Is that a yes?"

"Absolutely, it is."

He snaps the box closed, stands up, and grins his Cheshire Cat grin again. You step closer and wrap your arms around his neck, dragging him down for a long kiss.

"Wait," you say, pulling back to look up at him in confusion. "What were the other things for? Flashlight? Paperclip?"

"Nothing," he laughs. "Just trying to keep you guessing."

"Well played, Munson," you admire, coming in for another kiss.

"Alright, you can jump my bones later, you horndog," he smirks, pulling away. "Let's get fucked up and go to Wonderland. It's already in the VCR."

"You are officially my favorite person in the entire fucking world."

"Tell me somethin' I don't know." God, you love him.

#writings of despair #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #happy birthday to everyone who wants to be left alone <3

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otterlyotterott · 4 months

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cat in the hat x the grinch is qinter

#wings of fire #ottscreeching

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star-shard · 2 years

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Black Cat

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Catboy!Elvis x Reader

Premise: ’Twas the night before Halloween… at Graceland! And Elvis just isn’t having it, he can’t seem to get into the spirit. It seems like it’s going to be a lost cause. Until that very night, under a full moon, a little magic is done.

Genre: Crackfic, NSFW

Info: Sub!Elvis, Mentions of Dom!Elvis, Spanking, Anal fingering/Anal toys, self stimulation

Words: 5k

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

It was your first holiday at Graceland, and you couldn’t be more excited. Even if you only visited, you felt so at home. Elvis could be withdrawn now and then, but he knew how to go all out better than anyone. And you could just imagine what he had in store for Halloween, the decorations, the parties, he was such a showman surely he had the perfect costume in mind too.

But even as the big day approached, it seemed your boyfriend hardly seemed aware of it. Invitations to get togethers were met with a polite decline at the most and a shredder at worst. And the only decorations in Graceland were the piling fallen leaves that were quickly raked away.

So when you sauntered into the kitchen one day, spotting a black and orange envelope in his hand, you just had to say something, “honey, can’t we go to this party? I already have a costume picked out, you wouldn’t have to worry a thing about it.” Elvis made Graceland his little world and as grand as it was, you thought he could use a little change of scenery too. Mainly one that included jack-o’-lanterns at the very least.

Elvis sighed, a wry smile on, “I think you’d do just fine wearing that costume just for me” oh he had that look on. Those bedroom eyes. But, you couldn’t let him melt you so easy.

“I think you’d do just fine not being such a grinch about Halloween,” you said right back, giving his nose a poke. He nipped at your finger. You really would love it, seeing Elvis dressed for the occasion. “Please? I promise it’ll be a night to remember.”

He sighed, he couldn’t sex his way out of this one. “Fine. I guess. But, I’m not putting on anything that’s gonna mess up my hair, you hear?” You just wrapped your arms around him in a squeeze. You were sure you could convince him otherwise.

—

Halloween was tomorrow, so was the party, but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to try out your look. Elvis had bought you such nice dresses and you were sure this lovely black piece would look marvelous with a witches hat. “Not bad, huh?” You asked, the entryway to the closet was like a little stage for you. However, he was in bed reading.

And when he made a huffing sound you knew he was just being a grumpy gus about it. “Now a fan of witches either, huh?” You crawled onto the bed and peered at him, looking both above and below his book, one that was full of scribbles of his notes and ideas. “What is it. Are you a scaredy cat?”

Elvis then rose an eyebrow and with it came that smirk. “I just don’t make a fuss around Halloween.” He wasn’t all too amused by you interrupting his reading, but he was amused by the way that witches hat was one size too big for you. Just as you tapped his book, he tapped your hat which then drooped down to your face.

You pulled it back up, he was being silly with you. “Come off it, it’s a full moon! Don’t you know magic is afoot when the moon gets full?”

“I said I’d go with you, but lemme pretend Halloween doesn’t exist until then. How about that. The whole day, it’s creepy, you know? Just damn common sense why it doesn’t get me going.” He thought he was being real logical about it all. As if that was the point.

You pouted, sighed, but eventually flopped down next to him. “The parties tomorrow. You know… you’d make a lovely black cat, collar and everything.”

He smirked, and that was enough to get his attention, he could always read tomorrow. He got on top of you. “Try saying that agin.” You smiled back, feeling smug.

“Only if you meow for me.” Oh, now you were really in for it, you just knew that tonight you were getting spanked. And how it delighted you. And just as it usually went, the night ended in some very productive fucking.

—

You had to leave early in the morning. It was a big day after all, you had family that were having their own little events. But as you got dressed you were sure to place a kiss on Elvis’s sleepy head, even if he was snoring under the covers. God, you loved him.

In any case, even if he wasn’t in a celebrating mood, you knew he had a full schedule to keep him busy anyway for the first half of the day. There was recording and then something about the colonel. It was why when you arrived again that evening, that you were surprised when you were told that he’d stayed in bed all day. That he wasn’t feeling like himself.

Now, if Elvis was sick, you’d be more than willing to skip the party. Even if you were already dressed up, pantyhose that would no doubt be ruined by the end of the night be damned. You know you could help take care of him if he was ill. And yet the maid assured you that he wasn’t. That he just couldn’t leave his room.

And when you headed for the stairs, the cook stopped you with a glass of milk in hand. “It’s all he’s wanted all day,” she said, handing it off to you. You knew he had his cravings. But… milk?

Now, you weren’t sure what was going on. But if this was his way of avoiding the party, there were better ways to do it. You went right up the stairs, milk in hand. And you opened up his room which was darker than a cave, except for the television humming softly just across from the bed. “Elvis?” You flicked on the light to try and get a better look.

With it, Elvis had thrown a blanket over him and you heard a cat hiss. Odd, usually the animals weren’t let up here, too hard to clean the black furniture. Clearly something must have been up.

“Elvis, hon, what’s going on now? If this is about the party-“

“Just leave the milk on the nightstand,” he cut you off and seemed to wind himself even deeper into the blanket, anymore and he might just get locked inside of it. Now, sometimes Elvis could get moody. But you didn’t even know what to call this mood. Maybe he was feeling sickly. You set the glass down.

“Do you need a doctor? Elvis, come on just-“ You pulled the blanket off as much as you could when it was bunched up. And he covered the top of his head right away. But he didn’t have time to cover his back side. A tail coiled behind him. A long, furry, sleek black tail.

That was no costume. “Is that… is that a-“

“It’s a tail!” He cried out, his hands slipped from his head and down to his face in embarrassment. That’s when you saw a pair of twitchy cat ears atop his head. Even with his hands masking his face you saw it take on a shade of pink you’d never seen. “What am I going to do? I missed a recording session, I was gonna play some football with Jerry. All I did was lay around all day, I even want fish! I hate fish!”

A cat, Elvis was a cat or… one quarter cat? You didn’t know the human to DNA ratio going on but you did know those were real moving cat ears and a tail to match. And he looked just as embarrassed as a girl getting a blemish before prom. You had to say something. “I- I’ll call someone, I’ll go call someone.”

Before you could get half a step away he grabbed your arm and if he wasn’t so emotionally fragile he might have snapped it. “No! No one can know about this! Are you crazy?!” His face started leaking with stress.

“I,” that was a good question honestly, from what you were looking at. Were you crazy? How many boyfriends changed up their ears over night? Like a sexy mister potato head.

In any case he was an absolute mess and you weren’t about to run out on him. Besides you needed that arm, you didn’t need it broken. You slipped down to his side and he looked on the edge of ugly crying.

“Alright, it’s okay- let’s try and think about this logically,” you tried. And you stared at him and he heaved some noises. Thinking logically was a lost cause before it even got started. But you had to get to the bottom of this somehow, before other cat parts started showing up. “We’ll figure this out. What do you remember, I mean, did you wake up like this?”

He had to snort and rubbed at his face, “well,” he tired to recall last night. “I remember reading and… then we screwed and it was…” He sniffled, “I came on your face and that was really fun,” you nodded, remembering it just as well, a little got in your eye. “But then you went home and I just had a sandwich and went to bed.”

You reached into your pocket and handed him a handkerchief, which he gratefully took to properly blow his nose. He continued. “I had the most, incredible sleep. Out like a light, all night, all day…” A hell of a cat nap, but you kept that comment to yourself, there was a time and place and Elvis was very sensitive right now. “And Mary knocked on my door to bring me lunch and… that’s when it happened.”

You leaned in a bit more, if he was about to reveal that a real live witch broke in through the window, you wanted to hear it. He mumbled. You leaned in more, he mumbled it again. “Elvis, you got me on the edge here.”

“I meowed!”

This was very serious. Your boyfriend turning into a cat boy, dead serious. But then… your boyfriend turned into a cat boy.

“Don’t you laugh at me, it was involuntary. Like a sneeze. And I didn’t grow these on purpose, they were just there when I woke up.” The mystery just got deeper. Although magic wasn’t totally out of the question yet. There wasn’t much in terms for clues.

“Alright alright, back to what’s important. If you slept that well, I’m thinking it must have started when you went to sleep. So,” you felt like you were putting together a puzzle in the dark. There was no play book, nary a combination vet/doctor here to help fill in the blanks.

But an answer hit you both at the same time. “Sex!” “Sandwiches?”

As haunting as a cursed peanut butter and banana sandwich sounded, he didn’t hold onto his theory very long and as per usual, was more interested yours, his favorite bedroom activity. “Alright, follow me on this… last night I was teasing you because you were being a real wet blanket about Halloween and, with a full moon out?”

He paused, he thought, “…Did you fuck me into being a cat?” He asked it the same way he asked if you were cheating on him. And as much as you’d like to take credit for putting the most adorable cat ears on the most adorable man, you didn’t recall dabbling in any dark arts on purpose. So you just had to genuinely shrug, it was a hard maybe.

There was a knock at the door. Elvis zipped under the blanket faster than you’d ever seen him move, it was actually impressive. “Hold tight just, don’t… sneeze.” You got up and tried to look like you weren’t someone in the middle of a supernatural emergency. You creaked the door open, it was one of Elvis’s boys, perfect timing. “Red, hi,” you gripped the door like you might break it.

You didn’t know it for sure, but you could have sworn Elvis was moving his blanket like shield off the bed, like he was heading for a corner. “Oh hey there, you’re here early. Got Elvis’s suit for tonight, just got dropped from the cleaners.” You quickly took it in hand. “Is he doing alright? Haven’t seen him all day.”

“He’s doing so great. I mean, not too great. Not great enough for a chat. He’s busy. He’s… got a bad hair day, you know how it is.” Elvis hissed and Red peered behind your shoulder to which you made the crack in the door even smaller. “Welp… take it easy.” Before he could say another thing you shut the door tight.

Elvis peered up from the blanket, yes, in the corner on the floor now, his attempt at getting far away from the door. “Bad hair day.” He said it flatly.

“I’m not wrong. You have more than you had last night.” That was too close though, you were not a good liar and if he knocked again you didn’t know what would come out of your mouth next. “But, babe, you really got a fresh suit for the party? You do want to go,” that made you smile, you were touched.

“…Well, wouldn’t want you going alone,” he may have not loved Halloween, and more mixed feelings were packing on by the second, but he wasn’t going to half ass it when you were already dressed up. “But, I can’t now. Can’t go anywhere! Unless you’re ready to fuck the cat back out of me.”

You held the suit close, and you only needed a moment to think before setting it down and then tossing yourself onto the bed, arms and legs open. “Do it.” You kept yourself open, staring up and dutifully waiting.

You couldn’t see Elvis’s face, but his eyebrow raised so high you did hear it hit the ceiling “How’s that gonna work?”

“How do you got cat ears, a tail? And an attitude that I don’t appreciate right now.” You shot back, still spread eagle. If he had another idea, you’d love to hear it. He shrugged, so crazy it just might work.

And well, if nothing else, nothing cleared the head like sex.

“Well… I gotta get in the mood first.” He admitted, you supposed the circumstances weren’t ideal. And you yourself looked more like a sacrificial offering rather than an enticing vixen. You had some damn incredible sex last night, you’d say it was nearly magical. If you were going to recreate the circumstances it had to be good.

You knew how to get him going. It involved getting rid of this dress. “Alright… let’s bring out the tiger man.” You started with getting on your knees on the bed, letting your hips sway back and forth as the thin little number you had started going down your shoulders. Making a real meal of it, giving him a show.

Elvis watched from his corner, his ears turning this way and that and the cover slowly coming off him.

“Daddy?” You said, your bra now out as you crawled to the edge of the bed, “I think you can do better than last night,” you sang, “I think you were just holding back on me.” Teasing, you knew that would get you in some trouble. A little rough foreplay from him was the perfect way to get him hard.

Elvis got up, holding himself high as he came over.

And you curved your back, letting your ass stick out. “You’re just a silly little kitty, bet you can’t make me squeal.” You wiggled his target, and he raised up his hand and, he bit his lip.

“I… I don’t think I can do this.” Your face planted into the mattress, oh come on, that was a fine performance, you even got in on the cat motif. “I mean, your tits are unbelievable in black lace and you did turn me on there but,” his shoulders looked a little caved in and he fiddled with his thumbs.

Now if Elvis was feeling uncomfortable you’d of course call it off. But it looked like he wanted to say something, it just wasn’t coming out right. “Tell me what I did that turned you on, sweetheart,” you asked curiously.

Elvis was getting pink again. “When you… called me a silly little kitty.” As you lived and breathed. Elvis Presley had a submissive side. Now, you knew he could be sensitive, but he hadn’t voiced something like this before. And you refrained from showing too much excitement. You’d been considering switching it up for a while now but didn’t want to rush things.

And then it made all too much sense. So you said it out loud. “Of course. You fucked me, you turned into a cat… it makes sense, that I’d have to fuck you.”

Elvis looked up at that, “you can’t tell anyone, not any of the guys, if they knew they’d never let me hear the end of it. I’m still living down the time they started laughing at me when I said I ate pussy once.” He looked like a poor little school boy worried about what his friends would think.

“Elvis, you’re part cat right now. There’s a lot of things going on in this room I’ll never tell anyone about.” Though you’d have a talking to with them someday, pussy deserved to be eaten out. He trusted you, you trusted him. But you were sure he was nervous about trying this. Even if he wanted to. “And you’re sure you really want to? Is it you or the kitty talking?”

Thats when he looked ready to bury his face into something. “Can’t it be both? Damn it.” God, you could kiss him right there, right on the cheek he was too cute for you to handle. Oh yes, this would stay in the bedroom, witch’s honor. Magical cure or not, you’d both get something out of this. “I’d like it, if you… called me some names and maybe, spanked me a bit… Just, let’s get it going.”

Oh he was being big and brave right now. It took guts for Elvis to put himself out there. You slid off the bed and wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him. He looked a little surprised at the sudden kiss. “I’d be happy to spank you, Elvis. Dirty kitty.” He looked the other way embarrassed but you felt him getting hard against your leg.

Well, first things first you needed a good target yourself. Your arms went from his neck and down to his butt, which you squeezed. Elvis often took control, and unfortunately felt he had to be macho sometimes, so alas his ass had been regrettably neglected. You could tell because he almost let out a yelp just from that.

Of course there was more down there now. His cat tail was straightening up too. “Get out of those pajamas, sweetie. I wanna see how ready you are.”

Elvis nodded, in truth, he sort of couldn’t wait. Now Elvis may have been a star on stage but even he had his insecurities and he rarely got fully naked. Like he needed at least one layer, whether for the mystery or for his pride. But, you were curious to see what he’d do.

And he didn’t disappoint. First came off the shirt, button by button. Then you watched as the pants came down. Only the underwear left, a tight cotton layer that hugged his now very interested dick. A bit different from last night, he blindfolded you when those came off. But you’d be front and center. You were an audience.

They slid down slow and there he was. All of him, a decent size. And more. Literally, he had extra body parts for the moment. And well? God could strike you down for being a pervert. There was something so sexy about Elvis looking all shy with those kitty ears on his head. He’d make quite the pet.

“Ain’t you pretty,” you said to him, which made him nod and say a little ‘thank you ma’am.’ “But, I know where you’d look prettier.” You gave a look and a nod back at the bed.

When he got on it, he looked eager. He looked ready, he looked like he was holding back from bringing the claws out he was so desperate. Damn, he should have said something sooner, he didn’t need to grow a tail to tell you he wanted his tail smacked up. You’d do that for free any day of the week.

And it seemed even just assuming the position was enough to get him nice and needy. “Lots to work with here,” you nodded. “Let me just take my time…” you said slowly as you could. And then you took his tail in hand, you didn’t have to wait for a reaction, his back arched.

“…Please,” Elvis murmured, his southern accent in full force and his voice dropping to a sultry octave.

You strummed your fingers against his right cheek, “let me think.” And then smack! You cracked your hand against him and he gave such a cry. And yes, at the tail end of it it almost sounded like a little mew. “Now we’re getting somewhere.” You kept an eye on his cock as you spanked him. Once, twice, a third time. You made sure to pause. Elvis knew what word to say if it got harrier than it already was.

But he was just about going to pieces. If turning into a cat boy wasn’t enough to shake him up, leaning into his more personal urges did. And you especially loved when at one point he shouted out, “bless it all!”

You thought he might cum just from this, his dick bobbed up and down, it dripped. He was making a bit of a mess. And when you took on a scolding tone about him being so very filthy, you added a pinch to his nipple. And that was a very good idea.

Well, he was more than warmed up. “Has anyone ever played with you back here, kitty?” You asked nice and soft. Now you didn’t want to brag, but you had some experience with men in the past that liked to be toyed with. The circumstances with Elvis were different of course, but not as different as one may think. Animal ears were popular.

His bottom was sore and his head was down in the sheets, and as much as he wanted to touch himself, he held off. “…Sometimes,” he said shyly, “when I’m alone.”

Now you were both getting something out of this, but you’d sure be glad to get rid of that needless shame. Elvis was in your care right now, he was your kitty. And though you could tease him, you would make sure he lived out whatever fantasy he wanted damn it. “How big? I don’t want to hurt my baby.”

Elvis peered back at you, his tail swished back and forth. “There’s a toy. Keep it… in this music theory book, hollowed it out.” That one sent you. You had wondered why he only had a single academic book about the art of music. And now you knew why. And now you wanted to fuck his ass and watch him cum so bad.

And of course because it was Elvis, when you opened up the book near the bed and saw the pages that had been spliced just right to hide something, the toy itself was custom. It was shiny, it was pink. And you were pretty sure Elvis gifted you one just like it last Christmas. Your tastes were so similar, you felt a stroke of pride.

Elvis needed to turn into a cat boy more often.

In any case, you didn’t need to ask him where the lube was, you knew very well where that was. You first coated your fingers, just to get him ready. One hand was wet the lube, the other would get wet another way. Of course you’d be getting off too. And frankly you needed him just in this position while you did it.

Your hand parted his sweet red ass, rubbing at his hole which relaxed very easily. A good sign, this would be great for the both of you. Meanwhile, your other fingers crooked down below you and you touched at your clit just through your panties. You supposed it was crass but you were in a way taking care of business for the both of you. Elvis melted at your touch.

And yes, even before the toy he was vibrating. Not just vibrating, purring. “That’s a good kitty,” you hummed, praising him, “that’s it, kitty loves it in the ass.” Elvis just enjoyed the massage, especially giving off a moan when you curled your fingers a certain way and you joined him right after when a you hit a nice spot on yourself.

Elvis’s cock was straining. His will power was incredible. This clearly wasn’t his first rodeo. But now it was for the main event, fucking him with this cute toy. It was a good girth, smooth, it had a curve. Smaller than his dick but you were sure now that he had someone helping him out, he might go up a size.

And so you angled it, coated it nice and slick and let it slide in. Elvis really moaned this time and his hand went back for his dick. Every man had his breaking point, it just made you chuckle which made him blush and more turned on.

You put the toy in and out of him and he stroked himself in time, and you stroked yourself too. He was building, you were building. “Fuck me!” He whined and that’s when you shoved the toy in hard, once, twice, and his back arched and his head was thrown back. Wherever you’d hit? It was perfect. And seeing him like that? Did it for you too. And your toes curled and you had to cling to the bed. Elvis came and his cum made quite a mess on the black sheets. He was down for the count. Toy still up his ass.

You had to hang your head a little low to catch up with yourself. Oh yes, this was the first of many, you already knew. You’d heard about strap ons before, you were sure it was worth the investment. Maybe one in gold. “Was it good, baby?” You asked him.

“Mhm.” The toy gently fell out, a slick little pop on it’s way out. And when he looked at you? The cat ears and tail were gone. And by god, you couldn’t believe it actually worked. If it hadn’t you were this close to calling the kind of doctor that did cat scans.

“Elvis!” You pointed at him and he right away knew what you meant, he touched his head and was just as blown away as you. He let out a laugh and so did you. And you did a crash landing hug on him. Fresh off an orgasm you two rolled in twain, you were probably ruining your dress with the cum stain but you didn’t care. It actually worked.

Elvis looked right at you and kissed you. “I knew you were magic.”

—

You had arrived fashionably late to the party. After all, Elvis was about as messy as it got and had to prim his look together from when he was a bit more animalistic. And luckily, you kept some spare dresses in his closet. This one was red. And upon strolling in, you were dressed as a couple of friendly looking devils. Hey, at least it wasn’t cat ears.

The party was fun, Elvis socialized and you’d never seen him so jolly about anything to do with Halloween. He even danced to The Monster Mash, though there was a little pain behind his eyes for that one.

You just had to pull him aside though, just for a little moment alone. “You’re enjoying yourself,” you said to him in a cramped dark little hallway just off from the noise.

“Well, I’m not going to be a cat for the rest of my life,” Elvis said in all honesty, “I think it’s worth letting loose a little.” And you couldn’t agree more.

And having him to close in this cramped hallway, you had to see it. “Show it to me. Come on, it looks so good.” Elvis chuckled and pulled down his shirt collar to reveal it. A white leather collar. It had originally been a gift for you, but you decided as you’d gotten ready tonight, that it would be a shared token. And of course it had EP etched in right on it. It looked good on him, even if it was a little secret between you.

“We really should get a leash for it,” you mused, giving it a tug and well that made him pink and his pupils got big. And it did something else. Your eyes went from coy to wide.

“What.” And atop his head, next to those fake devil horns? Cat ears, back again. And when he noticed too he looked to the ceiling and back down to you.

And it seemed both of you were getting similar ideas. “Well… we know how to fix it,” you mentioned simply. “How roomy is the backseat of the Cadillac?”

He didn’t answer. He just grabbed your hand and everyone wondered why Elvis and his girl were leaving the party, giggling. But attendees would later go on to recount that the last thing Elvis called out before leaving the party early? “I love Halloween!”

#Elvis #Elvis Fanfiction #Cat Boy #Happy Halloween!#👻#sub!Elvis #I can't believe myself I had so much fun writing this

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robot-voice · 1 year

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Just found out that the grinch x the cat in the hat is a ship that actually exists and now my life will literally never be the same

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blue-starbursts · 2 years

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bri..... onceler

I know now but I thought they were referring to something like Cat and the Hat x Grinch mpreg 😭

#ask

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4catsinaboat · 5 years

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undefined

youtube

Grinch x Cat in the Hat - Bad Boy

#this is the good shit #grinch x cat in the hat #dr suess #suess amv #amv #the grinch #cat in the hat #grinch/catinthehat #video #fave video #bad boy amv

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equz · 6 years

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people were like oh no people are gonna wanna fuck the grinch cause he’s gonna be voiced by benedict cumberass! like people dont already wanna fuck the grinch

#whomever made that cat in the hat x grinch art appear in my explore page wtf

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hearts4-robin · 2 years

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Haikyuu!! captain Christmas headcannons

anime # Haikyuu!!

genre # crack/fluff

pairing # Daichi x Kuroo x Oikawa x Bokuto (NON-ROMANTIC)

age range # given age in anime/manga

warnings # mentions of swearing, dark humour and ugly Christmas sweaters.

# Christmas with the captains

# Kuroo had invited the three other captains over for Christmas movies at his house, knowing his parents were out for the weekend

# Daichi had first said no because his own team had planned a Christmas party same night

# but after he heard that it was Nishinoya, Tanaka and Hinata who were planning it, taking the train to Tokyo didn't bother him too much

# Oikawa was the first to arrive, having brought along his humongous jar of home baked Christmas cookies

# he hadn't baked it of course, his mom had

# Bokuto had caught a cold a few days before and even though Daichi had told him not come over, he did anyways, of coure

# it's Bokuto, what did you expect?

# "HEY HEY HEYYYYYY!"

# boktuo bought Christmas sweaters.

# for. every. single. one.

# Daichi gets the fluffy one with the reindeer and button, so if you press that it plays jingle bells

# Kuroo got the big red one with a grumpy cat that says "meow Christmas"

# Bokuto had most defiantly chosen that for obvious reasons

# Oikawa had brought his own and simply refused to wear the one Bokuto had gotten for him

# Oikawas own sweater that said "pretty boy Christmas"

# the one Bokuto had gotten for him was a bunch of Christmas ordainments with glitter

# Bokuto had said it was to "finally give Oikawa some balls"

# Oikawa was very offended and had refused to even look at the sweater from that moment on

# emo Bokuto : unlocked

# Bokuto was wearing his own Christmas sweater with a giant penguin on

# throughout the night, Bokuto had managed to pass the cold on to Kuroo

# after having eaten takeout and watched the grinch like 500 times

# it was cookie time

# Daichi was in charge for the cookies because-

# Kuroo can only cook soup. and maybe rice. but that's it.

# Oikawa can MAX bake a milk bread on 10th try

# and Bokuto can make his way all the way to the convince store, buy ramen and pour hot water in

# so Daichi found a cookie recipe Sugawara send him last year

# he ordered around with the others and did his best to save the cookies if they fucked it up

# he had to use a strainer to get out the eggshells after Oikawa smashed it

# it went alright though

# Bokuto barely did anything, he was busy finding the perfect playlist

# he was mostly singing along

# Daichi only sang under his breath

# but Kuroo and Bokuto really just sang their soul out

# but when Oikawa got his fingers on the music, I'm sorry, but Beyoncés playing

# "ALL THE SINGLE LADIES. ALL THE SINGLE LADIES. ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP."

# "Oikawa, please shut up-"

# Bokuto was so sad about it

# "It's not even a Christmas music :<"

# nonetheless

# it was fun

# very.

# after baking and decorating the cookies (Oikawa having over bedazzled his, if you have teeth intact after eating, you're lucky)

# the clock was like 2am when Oikawa was shaking everyone like crazy

# "GUYS WAKE UP"

# "BOKUTO WAKE UPPPP"

# "KUROO LOOK

# "DAICHI"

# "IT'S. SNOWING."

# Bokuto has never been up so fast in his whole life

# to be honest, Daichi and Kuroo was tired as fuck

# but.

# they got up anyways, to look out for Bokuto and Oikawa

# Oikawa and Bokuto was already running around and throwing snow at each other

# "I'm gonna freeze my dick off."

# "I don't swear, but so is mine."

# Kuroo and Daichi was honestly just standing still for some time, tightly wrapped up in their sweater, jacket, hats, socks, scarfs, gloves, and multiple shirts underneath

# as they were still mumbling, slowly slipping out of their dazed sleep, Oikawa and Bokuto were sneaking up on them from behind

# they absolute fucking jumped them, dumping giant snowballs on both of them

# "Oh it's on-"

# it's now officially Kuroo and Daichi against Oikawa and Bokuto

# not even 3 minutes passed before it was everybody against everybody

# Kuroo accidentally hit a passing stranger in the face with a snowball

# Kuroo got scared and started running, Bokuto and Oikawa just followed

# Daichi had to apologise

# poor stranger to be honest

# you know those kids who'd either pour water to make ice or put stones in their snowballs?

# yeah.

# that kid's Bokuto

# Oikawa started sobbing

# after Daichi (once again) solved that they decided to built an igloo

# "n- no, no Kuroo that's not how- make them square! SQUARE."

# ket's all have a moment of silence for Daichi

# he decided to test it and crawled in.

# it didn't hold

# the whole roof and top of the walls fell down over him

# after having poked his head out, all three of his fellow captains were staring

# a solid 5 seconds passed before Daichi started smiling

# it ended up in laughter before Bokuto laid down on the pile of snow

# Kuroo and Oikawa pretty quickly followed, laying down beside the two

# they laid there for a solid hour looking at the snow and cracking a few jokes

# until Oikawa noticed Daichi's lips were turning a blue-ish purple

# "Daichi look, your lips are gonna match my teams colors!"

# they went back inside pretty quickly

# watched Home Alone before heading back to bed

# the next morning, Daichi was off before any of the others woke up

# Bokuto laughed silently with Kuroo as the took some "charming" pictures of Oikawa

# they also had a fun time rewatching their stories

---------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you all liked this <3

I really found this fun :) if you have any requests, feel free to ask <33

#haikyuu crack #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu captains #tooru oikawa #oikawa #daichi sawamura #daichi #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo #bokuto #bokuto kotaro #haikyuu christmas #haiku christmas headcannons #christmas headcanons

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sokka-simp · 3 years

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Christmas Headcanons

Bakugo, Deku, Todoroki S. x reader

A/N: so I’m randomly making this because I think my blog needs some Christmas Headcanons and I myself love Bakugo so he’s a given but I know there are some Deku and Todoroki fans that may like my fics somewhere so I added them on for ✨v a r i e t y✨

Fluff

Bakugo

Bakugo was never one that was super big on Christmas, like don’t get me wrong, he didn’t dislike Christmas he just didn’t really care

The only thing he liked about it was getting presents and bragging about them to his friends

He only ever got presents from his parents and Deku because he never EVER bought people gifts

That was until he went to UA and he met you and the rest of the Bakusquad

Who all LOVE Christmas

His first year there he still refused to buy any of them Christmas gifts but no ho ho the others didn’t think the same

You got him an All Might figure

Kiri got him new gloves cause he kept burning through his

Mina got him a mini Christmas tree, which he acted particularly upset about because ‘I don’t even give a fuck about Christmas Pinky!’ He liked it though which was obvious to everyone else

Denki got him a bra for his ‘bakutitties’, Sero had to tape him to the wall to make sure Denki wasn’t gruesomely murdered

Sero got him a cool black and orange hoodie Bakugo was taped to the wall again just for fun and as an extra gift from Sero

He felt bad, so he went and got everyone something for New Years ‘since it’s a tradition in his family. Tch.’ and not because he didn’t get them anything for Christmas

After that first year, he liked Christmas a lot more

You watch Die Hard multiple times every year because Bakugo thinks it’s the only “Christmas” movie worth watching

You agree but force him to watch other movies too

He only does it so you guys can cuddle, he denies that though

“You pulled me into your side before the intro was finished and you’re gonna say you don’t like cuddles?” “No I didn’t dumbass, shut the fuck up! ....and play another one.” “YOU DONT EVEN LIKE CHRSITMAS MOVIES! YOU JUST LIKE CUDDLES! ADMIT IT.” “NO I FUCKING DONT, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TURN ON THE GRINCH OR SOME SHIT!” “YOU ARE THE GRINCH! Wait don’t leave 🥺” “tch. Come here.”

You guys cuddle a lot in general because you’re both touch starved, but Christmas time makes it more normal so you guys cuddle a lot more

Like a lot

Not in public though, bakubaby isn’t a fan of PDA except hand holding ‘cause it’s cold’

But if you’re alone or in the 1-A building you guys cuddle all the time. You’re in the common room on a couch, boom cuddling. You’re doing homework together, boom sitting in his lap. You’re watching a movie in his bed, boom spooning.

He makes you special homemade hot chocolate

And regular chocolate

And literally anything you want

You buy him special spicy chocolate cause you can’t cook for shit, or at least not good enough for Bakugo

You tried once and burned chocolate at 3 in the morning, setting off the fire alarm, and causing everyone to have to evacuate. He made fun of you for a good month or 2 after that. He honestly still does

You buy and force him to wear ugly Christmas sweaters every year

You buy some for the bakusquad too

You have epic snow battles, like, I almost broke your nose and had a flu half of break after spending hours in freezing weather snow battles

You’re both competitive though, so you both end up either never winning or having the same amount of wins and it pisses you both off sooooooo much

You both spend days looking for the perfect gift for each other after getting together

Like you have a straight up list for everytime he even slightly hints at liking something because he sure as hell won’t tell you what he wants

You got him new mountain climbing equipment, an All Might poster, and a shirt that said ‘I’m stupid’ so you could wear the ‘im with stupid’ one

You spend Christmas Eve at one of your houses and Christmas Day at the other

You’re parents buy you and Bakugo matching Pajamas for Christmas Day, whether it’s at your house or his

When he opens your gift he’s vibing until the shirt. He glares at you so hard, that if you didn’t know he was whipped for you, you probably would have pissed yourself.

You laughed instead which caused a long string of curses

After opening gifts you guys spend the day cuddling and having snowball fights then going out with the Bakusquad for Christmas desserts

Deku

Deku looooooooves Christmas

He’s one of those people who claim to like buying people gifts more than getting gifts

Like he buys gifts for everyone in the class. And the teachers. And principal Nezu. And all his favorite pro-heros. And his mom. And that random homeless dude on the street. And his favorite food place’s employees. And just everyone.

He goes broke every year

He’s a liar though, he loves opening gifts. Sometimes he feels bad, but if it has something to do with All Might, he’ll let himself forget the price

The first year at UA, you suggested secret Santa for the Dekusquad and everyone loved it, especially Deku

Deku got Uraraka

Uraraka got You

You got Todoroki

Todoroki got Iida

Iida got Tsuyu

and Tsuyu got Deku

Deku, Iida and you went alllllll out

Urakaka tried to get something good but she didn’t have a lot to spend

~Baby’s broke 👊🏼😔

Todoroki didn’t really care and just asked Deku what Iida would want

Tsuyu got Deku the first All Might thing she saw above 10 dollars

You and Deku mega bonded while being stressed over gifts and started having gift shopping dates hangouts

You went out on your first date together a few days after Christmas, when Deku realized he couldn’t keep using Christmas shopping as an excuse to hang out

The next year, during Christmas, you did everything together

Decorate your dorms, decorate the common room, go gift shopping, ambush Iida with snowballs, cuddle, watch Christmas movies and so on

You and Deku 100% recreate Hallmark Christmas movies with the Dekusquad. They all vibe, except Todoroki because he thinks it is so stupid

Deku’s mom knits everyone from the Dekusquad ugly Christmas sweaters with their initials on it every year

Your family invites Deku and his mom over to have Christmas dinner with them

You buy him the most limited edition All Might stuff you can find

You stay up all night just so you can order it as soon as you can, you will literally camp outside of stores in snow so you can get it for him

He does the same for your interest though so it’s worth it

And it’s especially worth it when you get to see his eyes light up when he sees what you got him

You both open presents separately with your family in the morning, but you meet up a few hours before dinner to exchange your gifts to each other and get hot chocolate from your favorite cafe

Bonus story: One time you and Deku decided to go to a cat cafe on a whim and saw Aizawa sensei laying on his back in the middle of the cafe with cats all over him. You all stared at each other until you and Deku slowly backed out of the cafe. You 3 never brought it up. But you and Deku laughed about the 32 customer of the month pictures of Aizawa that were on the wall.

Deku has straight up cried opening your gifts before

You love him so much 🥺💕😩

And when you open your gift and get the goofy smile full of love on your face, Deku can’t help but think he’s the luckiest guy on Earth.

It’s just both your favorite time of the year

Todoroki

Todoroki never celebrated Christmas with his family unless it was for plublicity or something

His mom would buy him and his siblings all small gifts but she didn’t have much freedom to go and get anything big or really wanted by the kids

They all appreciated it nonetheless

So when the Dekusquad forced asked him to join the secret santa, he didn’t know what to do at all

So he went to you and to get you to help him find a perfect gift for his secret santa person, which was Uraraka

You agreed to help, being the amazing significant other that you are

You were no help, at all. You could not stop laughing when he pulled up dumb gifts

And when you found out what you were going to get him for Christmas you teased him and gave him hints every 5 minutes just to annoy him

So he ended up going to Deku and Iida because one was serious all the time and the other was so obsessed with Christmas, he changed his comforter to be All Might in a Christmas hat

They helped a lot more

He still enjoyed hanging out with you though

You and todoroki have weekly ‘Make fun of Hallmark Movies’ nights each week, starting at the beginning of December obviously and going until January.

You stay up til like 4 in the morning cuddling and having fights about who’s the most annoying character

You always buy Todoroki candy canes because ‘look sho, they look just like you, and they’re sweet like you too’

Cue the mass amount of blushing everytime you say anything remotely nice to him ever

For Christmas you got him a few things but the best is an Endeavor dart board. You saw it and got it with no hesitation.

Your gift for him consists of his dart board, mini candy canes, a soba place gift card, and a coupon book, hand-made, full of coupons that just say ‘cuddle with Y/N’

One of his gifts for you is an ‘I hate endeavor shirt’ because if he’s the president of the ‘I Hate Endeavor’ club, you’re Vice President.

The amount of times Todoroki has had to stop you from attacking his dad on sight is higher than the amount of people All Might has saved

But the other gifts really depend on what you like, because baby doesn’t wanna disappoint you, not after he has been disappointed every Christmas until you

Todoroki 100% always comes over for Christmas. Your parents would drag Todoroki from his house if they had too

He comes over Christmas Eve and spends the night, then stays for everything. Opening gifts, stockings, Christmas dinner, etc.

He even has his own stocking with his name embroidered on it

When he opened your gift the evil smile he had on his face made you know it was perfect

And the soba place card made him just as happy, he’s so lucky to have you

He loves the giddy face you have as you open the shirt first and put it right on over your pajamas

Wow he loves you

Wow you love him

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heli0s-writes · 4 years

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Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

Summary: Bucky (sort of) agrees to wear an ugly Christmas sweater, but what he ends up wearing is much worse. This is for @holy-captain‘s 1.2k writing challenge! Congratulations, Liv and thank you for hosting! I’m so sorry it’s late!!

Pairing: Exasperated!Bucky x ChaoticDumbass!Reader

Warnings: Swearing Word Count: 1.8k

It’s supposed to be a fun and light-hearted thing—a season full of shiny-glowing-fantastic-twinkling excitement and ruddy red noses and misty breath in the chilled air. A season of joy and celebration, of spiked eggnog, fuzzy striped socks, and sliding down the compound hillsides on Steve’s shield.

And he’s screwed it all up.

It sinks in like the swollen marshmallows in his now cold cocoa, drooping to the bottom where the rest of the sediments lie. Outside, snowflakes gust and whip, blanketing the pine trees and skeletons of shrubbery in white flurries. Red holly berries peek out where they can and glare at him with their crimson eyes.

His phone lights up with picture messages of Steve and Sam, hurriedly trying on a cluster of sweaters in preparation. Horrid renderings of cats on ornaments. Oversized slouchy sleeves flecked with tinsel. Santa’s dreadful ass-crack peeking out of a chimney.

Bucky grumbles and turns his phone face-down, leaning back in his chair to stare at the Christmas tree in the corner. He wants to scream and put his leg through the damn thing.

Soft footsteps draw his attention to the hallway when you emerge, blinking slowly as you stifle a yawn from behind your hand until you see him. Then, you scoff and disappear back down the hall.

“Wait!” Bucky calls, leaping from his seat and nearly knocking the tepid mug from the table, “Damn it, wait!”

You’re gone. Stomped back to your room and even if he starts running now, he wouldn’t be quick enough—only getting the slamming door on his nose. He’ll try anyway.

Bucky slumps against the panel, pushing his chest against the cold metal of it and his cheek until his words come out smushed into his teeth.

“C’mon!” A pathetic whine of your name before he sticks his fingers underneath the slit of the door like a cat, wiggling the bent tip back and forth. Incredible. The Winter Soldier sprawled out all over a corridor, begging for forgiveness over this.

Only silence replies; you’re probably on the bed, thinking about scratching his eyes out. He can practically see you flicking him off with both hands. You’ve never been this upset before, and it deeply troubles him considering the dynamic of your very friendship spun on the axis of one single truth: Bucky’s the annoyed one. You’re the fuck up.

And now he has no idea what to do.

One week of it and he’s completely lost; the start of it all—December 1st when Tony announced: Ugly. Christmas. Sweater. Party.

Two days before Christmas, the team will be gathering in the common area for a white elephant gift exchange, and sweaters will be judged based on ugliness. What a stupid idea.

The winner will be awarded with “no team meetings for a month” and Tony’s personal stash of bourbon as long as no one touches his whiskey.

Upon the proclamation, you had clapped your hands together and grinned, “We’re gonna win this damn thing.”

And Bucky, being regular Bucky who ignores your half-witted ideas and short-sighted fixations, muttered, “Whatever,” and went back to thinking normal-person thoughts.

For the next several weeks, you dove into your knitting, the needles clicking together faster than he’s ever seen, weaving sparkling black and bright cherry red. The rows were tightly bound, looped and coiled expertly until he could finally make out the shape on the front of it.

He really did love your sick sense of humor—although he’d never admit it—funny, twisted, always brought him a bit of joy.

“Fuck no,” he had laughed at the image of a mutilated deer, antlers dangling silver ornaments showcasing his sigil. “I am not fuckin’ puttin’ that on. It looks like hell.”

“You agreed!” And then the needles and yarn hit him right in the nose.

On your way out, a low chuckle came from the corner of the living room where Steve sat sipping a cup of steaming chai. “You know Christmas is her favorite holiday?”

A snorting laugh bubbled the surface of Steve’s tea, “Good goin’, Buck.”

“Last Christmas” is on, blaring synth beats through the halls. George Michael croons sweetly, longingly, grieving an unrequited love before jingle bells ring in the scattered percussion.

Bucky hears your voice as you carol along to possibly the cheesiest song of all time—infuriated and baffled that you won’t speak more than two words to him but will sing your heart out to this crap. George Michael, Wham! and all of England can eat his whole ass.

He trudges from his room and into the den where the lights are dimmed and the table is set with snacks and a crock pot of hot chocolate. A dish of pine cones sits in the middle, flanked by a merry snowy village filled with little ceramic teddy bears and reindeer. On the edge is a deflated Santa Hat filled with paper scraps and pens for the voting process at the end of the night.

It is seven-thirty and you are standing next to Sam with bent elbows, wiggling your hips to the chorus, sliding back and forth on the polished floor in fuzzy socks. The two of you are facing the window, pointing at the flurry and a mountain of sludge that was previously a horrid misshapen lump of Snowman Steve.

Bucky squints a little, alert when he sees two matching sweaters—black on the back. Hell no, he thinks.

Sam turns around and Bucky’s worst holiday fears are confirmed. One innocuous “Oh hey, man,” and all the warmth drains from him.

On Wilson’s chest is that terrible disfigured deer you constructed, its antlers spearing out from its head to reach all the way up to his shoulders.

Bucky flies across the room and before either you or Sam can do anything about it, he’s peeling the hem of it over Sam’s head, kneeing him in the groin, and taking him down onto the floor. “What the hell!” Sam yells, struggling to get out of his grasp. “Shit—get off—Barnes!”

“A red star isn’t even your fucking symbol!” His hair is in his eyes along with Sam’s elbow, their limbs and joints knocking into each other in the wrestling bout. The sleeves and front are being stretched terribly, but neither of them seem to notice.

“Hey,” Your calm voice calls from above them—falling on four deaf ears. “Hey,” You try again, and when it doesn’t seem like two grown men can stop aggressively fondling each other over a damn pullover, you raise your hand and decisively land it across the back of Bucky’s head in a deafening crack.

A swell of multiple shocked gasps rises from behind you and when Sam and Bucky freeze, they see the rest of the compound’s inhabitants staring at the scene like a disfigured Nativity display. They also see your palm, at the end of your motion, resting next to your shoulder.

Bucky gingerly rubs his wound. “Ow,” He grumbles.

“Room… now.” You command, pointing your finger down the hall. Wilted, he shuffles away dutifully, saying nothing to the others as he passes. When he’s gone, you look scornfully at Sam and your beloved jersey, loosely hanging at the edge of his torso, pulled nearly apart.

“Voting starts in twenty, kid,” Tony mentions breezily.

“Yeah,” You reply through gritted teeth, “Don’t worry, we’ll be there.”

Steve coughs behind his hand awkwardly when Bucky steps back out, the once snugly-fitting sweater around Sam hanging collapsed and loose on Bucky’s right side. You’re close behind, bouncing on your heels and smiling as if nothing had gone wrong. Steve’s not sure which is worse: your wrath or glee.

“You, uh, you alright?” He calls quietly.

“Oh yeah, absolutely. Right, Buck?”

Bucky swallows, “Uh. Yeah.”

He has no fucking idea; when you shut the door behind him, the sweater in your hand was calmly unfolded and held up to his shoulders, damage assessed by a calculating mind. Bucky still has no clue what possessed you not to scratch his eyes out that very second.

Then, you looked him up and down and said, “Put it on, Barnes. Show’s about to start.”

And if he was a weaker man, he’d be shaking in his goddamn boots at how calm you are.

The team gathers around the tree, various colored pens and torn scraps in hand as they evaluate each other’s attire. Natasha is boldly displaying a patchwork kind of cardigan with what looks like the Michelin man ominously hovering behind a tree. Tony, of course, has custom-ordered a perfectly sized wreath knitted around his arc reactor heart. Steve has completely missed the Christmas memo (or is perhaps the politest Grinch on Earth) wears blue, the tiniest hint of gold tinsel woven through.

And Sam -- stupid, stupid Sam-- who didn’t plan on being robbed of a perfectly knitted sweater five minutes before the voting process, is out of the game.

Bucky is about to write your name down, because a medium part of him feels guilty for hurting your feelings while a much larger part of him feels apprehension about what exactly might happen if you lose, but you suddenly dig your hand into his pocket.

All five fingers shove deep until your fist is gripping tight and your knuckles stab his thigh.

“Hey! No hanky-panky during voting!” Tony is scandalized.

A vicious snap of his pocketknife swings open and before he knows it, your left hand is fisting the yarn on his chest and your right is ripping it straight through. The room falls silent when you do it a second time and Bucky’s at a loss for words until the breeze hits.

Chills.

A tendril of AC sneaks through the two open holes you’ve carved and goosebumps bloom all over his chest. Dread settles in his tummy.

His nipples are pebbled and exposed for everyone to see and with a quiet click of the blade retracting, you tuck it back into his pocket.

“Let the voting begin.”

No one moves. No one makes a single sound and the whole place is quieter than a crypt until a shrill wheeze squeaks out of Sam’s nostrils. Through the choked snickering and the slowly building crescendo of everyone else’s laughter, Wilson admits, “They’re browner than I thought they’d be.”

There’d be no need for a voting process, Bucky knows. You’ve stolen the show – or rather, his nipples have stolen the show, and the once-worthy prize is now his Sisyphean burden to bear. He closes his eyes and counts to a million.

Screw exemptions from team meetings, Bucky thinks, praying desperately that when the bourbon is bestowed to him, by some miracle of sweet baby Jesus, he’d be able to get shitfaced again.

perm tags: @whothehellisbucky @serpentbaby @badassbaker @alagalaska @cake-writes @crist1216 @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @infinity-saga @jamesbarnesthighs @pinknerdpanda @xoxabs88xox @imsoft-barnes @momc95 @typicalangel @wretchedgoddess @readeity @iwannasail @ya-lyublu-tebya @geeksareunique @wildefire @satanxklaus @jhangelface0523 @wkemeup

#marvel #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #mcu #bag of tricks helios #Livs1.2KChallenge

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5am-the-foxing-hour · 3 years

Text

The Adventures 2020

X-mas (December 24th) Gift giving

Year 2020’s Adventures

5 parter, each part posted on advent: 1st 29th November, 2nd 6th December, 3rd 13th December and 4th 20rd December and the last part on Christmas 24th of December

- - -

Characters: all of them, orange side being a cryptid again.

Words: 1591

Warnings: no warnings I believe.

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General Fanfic Tag list: @ebony-wolf, @nashiraneko, @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom, @rabbitsartcorner, @punsterterry, @sleepyssnail, @nightmaresides, @virgilswritings, @ninja-girl2846, @ninjago2020, @starryfirefliesbloggo, @garecc, @sympatheticdeceit, @cookiethedevil, @askthesnake, @all-bridges-will-burn, @tacohippy56900, @little-euro-girl, @aggressiveshipper, @imbasicallyshakespear, @slayerofspiders, @prinssess61, @underthesea73, @suicidalcitrusfruit, @sander-side-stuff, @franthehorsegir, @kingpridesanders, @multi-fandoms-posts

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The others were gathered in the living room, sitting around the christmas tree. All having one present before them.

“Can’t we start now?” Roman whined.

“No, we have to wait for Remus and Janus.” Logan said

“Uuuuuuuuugh but they have no concept of time!” Roman groaned as he let himself fall back to the floor to lie down, arms crossed and pouting.

“Now, now Roman.” Patton said as he patted Roman on the knee. “I’m sure they’re on their way.”

“SNAKEY! GET OUT OF BED!” A voice suddenly shouted from upstairs, unmistakingly belonging to a certain duke

“GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF ME!” Came another voice, just as loud and more hysterical clearly belonging to Janus, a screech followed.

It didn’t take long before Remus came thundering down the stairs holding a loudly cursing Janus, who was bundled up in a bright yellow fluffy blanket, in his arms.

“We’re here!” Remus cheered as he unceremoniously dropped Janus down between Thomas and Patton. Janus hissed louder as he grabbed his blanket and glared at Remus with murder in his eyes.

“Remus, I swear, you better keep your snacks hidden or I will change them for Healthy food!” Janus snarled.

“NO! NOT MY SNACKS!” Remus cried holding his hands protectively before himself.

“Everyone here now?” Thomas asked.

“Is…?” Logan started turning to Janus.

“No, he hid even harder from Remus so I doubt he will show face.” Janus grumbled into his hand that he was leaning his jaw against, as he made himself a bit more comfortable on the floor.

“Then yes, everyone is here.” Logan said and nodded at Thomas. Thomas smiled and sighed in relief, as Roman cheered and sat up, only to snort at the birds nest that was Janus’s hair.

“No hat?”

“No, because someone didn’t have time to let me finish preparing for the day.”

“You were taking too long!” Remus nagged. Janus just clicked his tongue in annoyance.

Virgil sighed, and Logan rolled his eyes before he clapped his hands to gain everyone's attention.

“Since everyone is here now, why don’t we get this year's secret Santa started?” A chorus of agreements followed and soon the sides and Thomas waited as Janus summoned his hat after Roman sent him some puppy eyes to use it to draw the name on who was to hand over their present first.

“Virgil.” Logan read from the piece of paper he had taken from the bowler hat. Virgil grimaced before he huffed

“Well… better to get it over with… I had you Logan...” Virgil said as he summoned a package, wrapped in purple paper with white stars, he handed it over to the other side who took it in surprise.

“Are we opening the gifts now or are we waiting til everyone got theirs?” Thomas asked.

“It’s more fun to open them together.” Patton said with a smile.

Logan carefully placed the purple present down on the floor, before he picked up a present wrapped in dark blue paper.

“I had you Janus.” Logan said as he handed the present over. Janus blinked before one arm appeared from the blankets and took the present, a small chuckle left him as he thought he had an idea on what it was Logan had given him.

“Thank you.” Janus said as he put the present down. “Roman I had you.”

“Oh… yay...” Roman said only to yelp when two of Janus’s arms suddenly appeared from the floor holding a big yellow box. Roman gaped as he took it, missing how Janus’s arms disappeared back into the floor. Roman floundered a bit before he put down the big box and took out a smaller red present. “I had you Thomas.” Roman said as he handed over the red present to Thomas, while Patton cooed at how small it was.

“Aw it’s so small and cute~” Thomas chuckled at Patton’s comment before he took the gift, not really surprised that he could touch it.

“Did you and Janus work together on this one?”

“Not at all, I totally didn’t make you forget ever buying that thing.” Janus said with a smile. while Roman chuckled and rubbed at his neck.

“Well, I had you Patton.” Thomas said before he told Patton to hold his hands open and then concentrated, a rainbow coloured present plopped down on top of Patton’s palms and he squealed.

“Oh I’m sure I’ll love this!” he said as he put it down and brought forth a baby blue present from behind his back and held it out to Remus. “I had you Remus. Here.”

“Oh goodie!” Remus cackled as he took it only to blink when he felt that it was a soft present. He squeezed the paper a bit, a grin growing on his lips. “Here raccoon.” He said distractedly as one of his tentacles held out a badly wrapped gift painted green with acrylic paint to Virgil. Virgil took it with a startled yelp, grimacing when he felt how the paint was still wet.

“Ugh.. thanks...”

“LET*S OPEN THEM!” Remus and Roman called at the same time, causing Patton, Janus and Thomas to chuckle.

Getting a nod of approval it didn’t take long for Remus to tear into his present, to find a neon green knitted scarf, it didn’t look the best but he held it up and gaped, before he squealed and hugged it close, before happily wrapping it around his neck and bit into one end of it, chewing the chick wool. Patton chuckled at the sight before a loud gasp from Roman made them look over to find how Roman was taking out a huge stuffed lion, pale yellow with a bright red mane and green eyes and Roman’s logo on a necklace around the neck.

“Where did you get this?!”

“I uh… made it.” Janus said as he rubbed at his hands, gloves covering all the patches that took up his fingers from where he stabbed himself with the needle. Janus couldn’t help the blush that grew on his cheeks when Roman gave him the biggest most happy smile in years.

Patton opened his gift next, a happy sob leaving him when he saw the little stuffed frog, glittering blue in the light and a pair of big blue eyes, a pair of glasses and the cat hoodie around it’s throat.

“It’s meee...” he sniffled.

“Yeah, I know the first time was a bit of a bad moment, so I wanted to get you something to help you feel better about it. Logan and Roman helped me figure out how to make it.”

“I love it.” Patton mumbled as he hugged the soft frog close.

The sound of tearing present paper was heard followed by a chuckle.

“I knew it. Thank you Logan.” Janus said as he held a thick book in his hand. “I don’t suppose you want to go through it at a later date and discuss the content.”

“I would lo- like that.” Logan said with a small smile.

“So THAT’s where that lego set went” Thomas said, having opened his own present to find one of the several lego sets he bought before him. “Thanks guys.”

Logan opened his own present and blinked down at a space themed cup with a bundle of book marks filling it up, all holding different constellations on them.

“I heard you grumble about running out of book marks last time you and the snake had your book talks, and you keep using your favourite cup so often it’s always in the dishwasher.” Virgil murmured “It’s not much but-”

“Thank you Virgil.”

Virgil looked down at the sticky present Remus gave him, before he sighed and snapped his fingers to make the paint dry, before he unwrapped it, cursing every piece of tape he found. Before he found a bag full of stim toys, he picked up a fidget cube the same size as a rubik's cube, instantly pressing all the buttons. Remus caught sight of it and grinned.

The evening found them all still in the living room, snuggled tight as they watched the Polar express, Logan’s request. In queue was the first Grinch movie, A Christmas Carol, The Nutcracker, and several other Christmas movies.

Thomas felt warm and content, tomorrow he would have the “real” celebration with his family, eating his fathers food and spending time with his mom. but for now, now he would bask in the calm that came, all the sides cuddled together. Somehow Logan had found his way into Janus’s blanket, hugging around the snake like side as the two leaned against Thomas’s side. Patton took up his other side, as Remus sat on the floor, purring as Patton played with his hair. Roman and Virgil sprawled on the remaining sides, Roman having the weighted lion lying on top of him acting as a weight blanket. while Virgil absently fiddled with the stim toys in the bag Remus gave him.

Thomas smiled, only to blink when a clementine was dropped on his lap, he picked it up looking around, no one else was around, Thomas turned it over to find how “Hi” had been carved out from the skin. as well as a smirking smiley. Thomas huffed and rolled his eyes.

“He’ll show his face sometime...” Janus mumbled into his shoulder making Thomas glance at him, to see how Janus was looking at the clementine he was holding. “He’s just going to be a cryptid first.” A snort left Thomas and he chuckled, returning his attention to the TV

“Yeah.”

#Sanders Sides #TheAdventures #Janus #Sympathetic Deceit #Remus #Roman #Logan #Patton #Virgil #Thomas #text #the fox writes #Advent #gift giving #christmas presents

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