#Guilt

[ky-landfill]

#Damian wayne #bruce wayne #robin #batman #And tell me truly #men of earth #If all the soul-and-body scars #Were not too much to pay for birth. #guilt

[grungekitty-77]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

#guilt #shame #rant #soapbox

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

In Darkness and in Solitude

#spilled thoughts #quotes #aesthetic #creativity #relatable quotes #anger #regret #struggle #fear #guilt #emotions #anger issues

[mxfistofele]

Frank Bidart, “The War of Vaslav Nijinsky” | Nicola Samori, Ebbro | The Mountain Goats, “Prowl Great Cain” | Mary Oliver, Upstream | Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

#intertextuality #quotes #poetry #mary oliver #web weaving #frank bidart #the mountain goats #nicola samori #oscar wilde #the picture of dorian gray #devil.txt #guilt

[thatsbelievable]

#Who’s Guilty? #guilt #flowchart

[liakunemui]

“ Your friends are wrong about you. The person they love isn't you at all. ”

speedpaint!

#omori #omori fanart #sunny omori #omori sunny #guilt #my poor boy #omori game #sunny (omori) #speedpaint #omori omori #uhhhhh

[pinkjeepwhitemonster]

i wish i could tell everyone how bad im struggling 

#guilt #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sucidal ideation #tw self destructive behavior #vent #depressing shit #sh #Relapse #this is depressing #suicudal #su!cide #self h@rm #i hate myself

[chibird]

Little dino says no needless guilt! We should be allowed to live our lives without feeling guilty about everything!

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon  

#cute #self love #dinosaur #dino #guilt

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Gentle reminder that you don't have to reply to people immediately. You can take your time, especially if you feel overwhelmed by them, their message or anything else going on in your life. You can tell them something like "I'm sorry I need to stay alone at this moment, I will answer you as soon as I feel better mentally". You don't have to answer them immediately so to not upset them: what about you being upset and maybe even frustrated? What if this feeling made you answer the them rudely or harshly, to lash out on them even if it's not what you wanted to? And it all would make it worse on you and make you feel guilty? You can avoid all this by simply talking about your needs openly. Take time for yourself, it's okay. Everyone goes through bad stuff, everyone takes time off from it all. You can do that too. Be nice with you.

#words #healing #important #positivity #thoughts #self love #self healing #positive thinking #healingjourney #self care #self support #self help #self embrace #self awareness #guilt #communication #unmet needs #people pleasing #boundaries #relationships

[safe-haven-safe-place]

#mental health #healthy boundaries #boundaries #people pleasing #people pleaser #guiltfree #guilt #self care #healing #recovery #self love #self worth #self compassion #childhood trauma

[viridian-pickle]

Musée d'Orsay - PARIS

#photography #luxury #beautiful #aesthetic #classic architecture #architecture #classic #guilt #gold #Musée d'Orsay #paris #france #time #clock

[guiltyidealist]

"I'm sorry I vented and took up your time with my bullshit" ❌

feeds abandonment fears, implies having needs and being helped with them are wrong, makes it all about you

"Thank you for being patient with me through that, I appreciate that you took the time" ✅

shows your gratitude, affirms your affinity, no "using up" anybody's effort, makes it about you both as equals

"I'm sorry I dumped without checking consent first. I need to act respectfully and ask for your permission before I vent" ✅

"I'm sorry I said x, that was inappropriate of me to put on you" ✅

"Was it okay when I said x the way I did?" ✅

"Would you like to place a boundary around that?" ✅

"What could I do/say instead that's healthier for us both?" ✅

correct an actual wrong, seize due accountability, consider their rights as much as yours, make amends, work to correct missteps going forward

#this is a personal callout 😍 #reminders #codependency #codependent #recovering codependent #recovery #bpd #rsd #rejection sensitive dysphoria #guilt #shame #taking up space #waste of space #sorry for existing #apology #over apologizing #sorry #people pleaser #toxic #regret #remorse #gratitude #self worth #codapunk

[desultory-suggestions]

Having a resurgence of insecurity, anxiety, or frustration around something that you forgave or that happened a long time ago is not wrong. Things we have forgiven can upset us, they can come back up and bring insecurity. You are not holding onto something unfairly by still being affected by it. There is a difference between shoving a past mistake in someone's face and saying that it still hurts sometimes to think about it.

#“i forgive you” doesn't mean “this will never make me feel bad again” #it's normal to need reassurance over a past occurrence in a relationship #relationships #forgiveness #guilt #mental health #mental illness #relationship advice

[zee-rambles]

———-

Sometimes you just need to be there.

First I Prev I Next

#rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #unpause rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt April #april o neil #guilt #mental health #rottmnt nightmares comic #tmnt 2018 nightmares comic #zee draws rottmnt #love and support #family

[whumpster-dumpster]

"They're going to be okay. I thought you'd be more relieved."

"I am. But Whumpee trusted me to keep them safe, to not let something like this happen, and now look at them. I let them down."

#whump #whump prompt #writing prompt #dialogue prompt #caretaking #aftermath #angst #guilt

[akindplace]

Abusive people often know what to say/do to make you feel at your worst. The hurt they inflict is their responsibility, always, and it's not a matter of "people can only hurt you if you allow it". In an abusive situation, you don't have control over the hurt they are inflicting. It's not "just words", it's not casual like someone making a critical comment. It's abuse. It's traumatizing. And abusers often taken control out of people and then gaslight them to making them believe it's their fault. The guilt you feel about yourself or the victim-blaming actions of others is very damaging, but the blame is never the survivor's, the abuser is always, always, the one at fault, and there is never any way around that fact, though people may say otherwise and you might feel guilt. Please don't blame yourself. Please don't dismiss your feelings.

if you enjoy my writing, consider supporting the blog ☕️

#tw abuse #tw victim blaming #self-acceptance #self-worth #original writing #self-compassion #guilt #tw gaslighting #validation #reassurance #the abuse you went through is never your fault