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guiltyidealist · 7 months

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Latest hobby: radical self-acceptance codependency affirmations

I like to use over-the-top edgy imagery to invoke the ~emo~ sentiments we associate with edge, juxtaposing the aggressively self-loving text. accentuates the punk nature of radical acceptance

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performing-personhood · 2 months

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I learned a kind of funny thing and I need to tell you bc it's important, cmere. Lean in so the others can't hear okay?

Ok so like

I know that the reason we are the way we are is because at some point we took up some space - as people do - and someone turned to us and went "whoa, excuse you! What do you think you're doing" or something, right? And they were, like, surprised and offended that we took up space and told us to stay real small and subservient? And we were pretty young, you and me, and we didn't really grok Peopling yet and so we assumed that everyone else was going to have that expectation too?

Okay I just learned: that isn't true at all, that person was just an asshole.

Babe. BABE. This is big.

Ok do you realize ??? that most people when they're around someone - anyone, this is important, it's an unconscious reflex and happens rather automatically - and that person is like "I have an opinion and desires and also some needs and I am going to express them openly" Did you realize, because I didn't, that most people completely intuitively go "oh! There's another person here! Lemme just scootch over so they fit better :)" PEOPLE MAKE ROOM FOR YOU.

People don't ignore us, when we're silently having wants and needs and waiting our turn to be noticed, they just have similar very loud brains and have no idea because beung corporeal is Distracting™️. Not only do people just need a reminder that you're there, they're totally happy to accomodate. In a distinctly "ope! My bad, lemme just- here-" sort of way.

My spouse has a loud brain and drowns it out with Mario Kart. I've spent most of my life quietly entertaining myself in all of these instances, because at some point someone told me I was supposed to "go play" and nobody wanted to play with me so I entertained myself right? Okay. Well I recently had a sea change and decided I was gonna pop my headphones in and watch TV on my tablet when he was doing his Mario Karting. Because the boy will easily go for four hours and I just spontaneously realized that it would actually be ridiculous if he got butthurt at me for putting some quiet tv on for myself instead of watching a grown man play the same video game for hours.

You know what happened? Not only did nobody's feelings get hurt, but I have never made it more than twenty minutes into a show before he ends a match and switches the console off. And I have never asked him to do so. When I'm over there doing my own thing with my own TV show like a person instead of just scrolling on my phone trying real hard not to exist, somewhere in his unconscious he goes "there's a whole other human being on the other end of the sofa from me. I want to turn this off and engage with that person!"

Okay do you understand what I am telling you??

When you behave like a human person and treat yourself like a human person, other people also instinctively treat you like a human person and they're happy to be reminded that they get to engage with you. The person in our past that reacted differently and got mad at us for being a person, plainly and simply: they were just being an asshole to us.

The people we love want to engage with us. Almost all of them!!! And not only that?? Most other human beings feel the same way.

Huge. Big huge.

Don't take my word for it baby cakes okay, take a sec and muster up the courage (it'll be scary the first time, but the thinking about it is always scarier than doing it I swear) and then get back out there and practice being your very own human person occupying human people space, around someone who loves you, and just... watch what happens. The first time someone warmly, graciously, voluntarily accommodates you is the greatest feeling a corporeal being can experience, and you deserve it too.

#recovering people pleaser #recovering from abuse #recovering from trauma #recovering codependent #recovering from cptsd #cptsd recovery #actually cptsd #just neurodivergent things #actually neurodivergent #mental illness #things I learned in therapy #therapy works

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traumatizedjaguar · 20 days

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“You’re too available, you’re too giving, too understanding and too trusting. Your good heart makes you a target for those who deceive, take, envy, gossip and lie.”

It’s not about limiting your kindness, it’s about having strict boundaries and setting them when needed and being loyal to your boundaries.

Toxic and abusive people will see you being loyal to your boundaries as disrespect to them, as being unkind to them. You’re not being unkind or insensitive, you’re loving yourself loudly and confidently as you should.

#my text #actuallytraumatized #actuallyabused #codependency #recovering codependent #actually bpd #actually ptsd #actually abused #actually anxious #actually traumatised #actuallymentallyill #actually disabled #actually traumatized #actually mentally ill #got the quote from someone online #describes me perfectly #gaslighting awareness #gaslighting #gaslit

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cypric-rat-hyperfixation · 6 months

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🤲 🔪 RATffirmations

Featured:

Mercury of @spacedoutrat

stock image rat?? (?)

Beans of @otterpuppss

Squid of @eightyproof

Remy & Emile of @rats-is-short-for-ratthews

Ganymede of @rat-of-the-day

(listed by order of appearance)

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johnnyiscaged · 20 days

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something that has helped me disconnect from codependancy is realizing that married couples arent always together. they live together and spent time together but a lot of the time they just arent together but they still love eachother. they dont need to sleep in the same bed they dont need to constantly show eachother affection they can just coexist and still love eachother unconditionally. love isnt sacrificing every moment for someone, its having your life made better by their existence while you live

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candy-fae · 2 months

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To either person in a codependent relationship- do it for yourself. You don’t need to please anybody, and if someone is guilting you into being their friend, you’re not their friend. They don’t care about you. They care about what you can do for them. And you’re not anything beyond that.

But you are, and you need to recognize why these relationships happen. And to people pleaser everywhere I LOVE YOU!!! but get some help! Let yourself take up space. Don’t be a pushover! TAKE UP SPACE! BE LOUD AND CAREFREE AND DONT LET PEOPLE SUCK UP ALL YOUR ENERGY!!

#codependency #recovering codependent #codependent no more #comic #vent #vent comic #vent art #doodles #my art #art #artists on tumblr #illustration

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vizthedatum · 6 months

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If someone is having difficulty empathizing with you after repeated attempts of communicating and showing them how you want to be treated, then a boundary needs to be made.

It doesn't matter if the person is a good person or not.

This boundary can include saying "no" or changing the dynamics of your relationship (including ending the relationship).

You are not being cruel for having boundaries or pulling back your energy.

Do not enable behavior that hurts you, even if there are reasons for that behavior.

#codependent recovery #codependence #recovering codependent #healing #trauma #neurodivergence #queer #self love #prose #autistic #advocacy #self-validation #people-pleasing #recovering people-pleaser #communication #boundary #boundaries

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homebrewstims · 3 months

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F&h headcanon: Samarie has BPD and is a codependent (now recovering)

x x x x x x x x x Banner

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lastsecondsquirrel · 19 days

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Ok cool so I'm supposed to like make sure I'm in a good headspace before I hang out with my best person okay well I majored in avoidance so I will isolate I'm so fuckin good at this I'm gonna NAIL IT

Oh no this is bad things are bad it's been just me in this dirty house with my intrusive roommate forever and then there she is the person I've been holding off on talking to I bet she's just fuckin THRIVING I mean last we spoke she'd just gotten a promotion and like 2x the people to support her in her life and like I love her so I'm happy for her but does she even miss me like I miss her because I feel like I'm dying here

This is very bad things are very bad I need help but like the whole point of taking time alone was to grow up and not be so fucking codependent but if I'm waiting until I'm healthy enough I'm DEFINITELY not in the headspace to reach out now or maybe ever because now I feel very alone and on fire 24/7 so I guess we're just gonna burn

#avpd #agoraphobia #bpd #therapy #angry #avoidant personality disorder #mental health #anxious avoidant #personal vent #actually avoidant #rejection #tw mental illness #codependency #recovering codependent

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6ofwandz · 22 days

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I'm a codependent and I'm finally ready to stop feeling like I simultaneously have to avoid relying on anyone ever and also never feeling like I am completely capable of doing anything on my own. I'm done shrinking myself for the benefit of others because I am too afraid to stand in my own light. I am tired of not speaking up even when it is a detriment to me simply because I don't want to have to deal with the repercussions of someone else's inability to ground themselves. I am sick of feeling like I am not fulfilling my purpose simply because I am being swayed by people with ulterior motives who have convinced me they care about me.

This is my life, my one and only chance to live this experience in this body and I am tired of squandering it for others because I am too afraid of what it might be like on the other side.

The more I step into my power, the more I start to fight back against the oppressive ideologies of others, the less afraid I feel. I am still gaining my strength after a lifetime of being weakened, but I believe that I can overcome this. I see the next step and it's a big leap to get to the new me on the other side. I know that there are going to be some things that I am going to learn about myself that will challenge everything I know about who I am. I am stripping down to the scaffolding. This is a complete remodel. Everything I know from before are just their cold left-overs. I am gutting myself to rebuild. I am emptying me of myself in order to find me. I couldn't be more proud.

#recovering codependent #codependency #spiritual awakening #spiritual journey #trauma #complex ptsd #abuse survivor

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ruth-t · 1 month

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Don’t wait for someone to put your shoes on for you, learn to tie your own shoe laces.

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guiltyidealist · 6 months

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"I'm sorry I vented and took up your time with my bullshit" ❌

feeds abandonment fears, implies having needs and being helped with them are wrong, makes it all about you

"Thank you for being patient with me through that, I appreciate that you took the time" ✅

shows your gratitude, affirms your affinity, no "using up" anybody's effort, makes it about you both as equals

"I'm sorry I dumped without checking consent first. I need to act respectfully and ask for your permission before I vent" ✅

"I'm sorry I said x, that was inappropriate of me to put on you" ✅

"Was it okay when I said x the way I did?" ✅

"Would you like to place a boundary around that?" ✅

"What could I do/say instead that's healthier for us both?" ✅

correct an actual wrong, seize due accountability, consider their rights as much as yours, make amends, work to correct missteps going forward

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performing-personhood · 26 days

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Oh. Okay. So we're attacking me today. I see.

#anais nin #recovering codependent #recovering people pleaser #recovering from abuse #recovering from trauma #mental illness #just cptsd things #cptsd recovery #actually cptsd #living with cptsd

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domosapien · 5 months

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Daily Chore Hacks for Mentally Ill Girlies

Breaking down essential daily tasks into smaller, more manageable steps can be particularly helpful for those of you who are overwhelmed or struggling with mental health issues like depression:

1. Personal Hygiene

Showering: Instead of a full shower, use baby wipes for a quick cleanse or just wash the face and underarms with a washcloth. At the very minimum, try to clean your PTA: pits, tits, and ass. (If you have a large chest ykwim.)

Teeth Brushing: Start with mouthwash or chewing sugar-free gum if brushing feels too demanding. Rub your teeth with a damp washcloth. Gradually work up to brushing when you feel capable.

Hair Care: Use dry shampoo instead of washing hair, or simply combing hair can be a start. Throw it up into a bun if you have long hair so it doesn’t bother you. Avoid hats as they’ll make your hair get dirtier faster. Alternatively, shave your head or cut it very short! Less work.

2. Eating

Cooking Meals: Start with simple tasks like making a sandwich or a smoothie, or even eating pre-packaged snacks. Buy nutrition shakes like pediasure or soylent and take your vitamins. Drinking your meals is so much easier when you’re depressed and tired. At the very least, try to get enough protein.

Grocery Shopping: Create a small list of essential items, or order groceries online for delivery to avoid the stress of going out.

3. Cleaning

Tidying Up: Focus on one small area at a time, like clearing a desk or making the bed.

Dishes: Wash a few dishes at a time instead of the entire load. Alternatively, use disposable plates and cutlery to reduce the load.

4. Exercise

Physical Activity: Begin with stretching or a short walk when you feel like it. Listen to uplifting music while you do so. Gradually increase duration and intensity as comfort grows.

5. Work/School Tasks

Homework/Assignments: Break down tasks into smaller parts. For instance, start by reading one page or writing one paragraph. Use the Pomodoro Technique: 25 minutes working followed by a 5 minute break. Change the times if you feel you need to. No one’s stopping you from working for 10 minutes and taking a 20 minute break.

Emails or Administrative Tasks: Set a timer for a short period and only focus on this task during that time. The Pomodoro technique also works here.

6. Social Interactions

Keeping in Touch: Send a text message or make a brief phone call instead of feeling pressured to engage in long conversations or meetups. Make a discord server or group chat for your friends to keep in touch so you only have to send one message at a time. Avoid other social media.

7. Mental Health Care

Mindfulness or Relaxation: Cannot recommend this enough. Begin with a few minutes of deep breathing or listening to calming music. No screen time; just you and the music. Gradually try longer sessions of meditation or relaxation exercises as you need to.

8. Sleep

Bedtime Routine: Start with dimming lights and avoiding screens an hour before bed. Use a lamp instead of the ceiling light. Focus on one relaxing activity, like reading a few pages of a book or spending time cuddling with a pet. Put on some fluffy socks, some cozy jammies, make a hot and sweet beverage for yourself, etc. Make going to bed pleasant and relaxing for yourself.

If you battle insomnia, try herbal remedies like melatonin or CBD to help counter it. Avoid caffeine after noon. Go to bed an hour early so you have more time to unwind privately.

The key to managing your mental health and essential daily tasks is to make the tasks smaller! Take everything day by day. Don’t worry about the future; focus on the now and how you can make your own life easier and more pleasant right now. It’s the least you can do for yourself.

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ohiois4lov3rsx · 1 month

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I am extremely codependent.

It's dangerous.

#me #personal #thoughts #my thoughts #on my mind #tw depressing thoughts #codependency #recovering codependent #this sucks

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potatothemoose · 6 months

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I just gotta say but Renfield is definitely one of my new favorite movies.

It's silly and funny with some horror aspects while also having a very meaningful message and being very respectful to the subject matter. As someone who is still learning how to value himself and pick the right people to be around, I have to say that it resonated with me at some points.

I'm not gonna get too into it for fear of spoiling it for anyone, but the whole thing about giving power to your abuser but later finding the inner strength to revoke it is something that I definitely needed to hear. I've been in places throughout my life where I unwittingly let people control me and have been codependent on a lot of people, so I'm very glad to see a monster movie that tackles that subject matter.

Overall great movie, 10/10 would totally recommend to others horror-comedy enjoyers who can handle lots of gore.

#renfield #movies #renfield movie #codependency #recovering codependent #I have helicopter parents #AND I was pressured into being the caretaker for my ex partner #i can do this #i can do whatever i want #I control myself #My parents aren't so bad but my exes?

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