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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 6 months

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onlyfans

pairing: chad meeks-martin x fem!reader

wc: 1K

warnings: talks of sex (look at the title), no actual smut (cant write for shit)

summary: maybe the internet is starting to influence new ways to make "easy" money.

A/N: y'all...idk. idk.

masterlist / chad meeks-martin

you know how desperate college students get when they need money? really desperate.

especially when you have busy classes and homework that makes you want to rip your hair from the scalp in rage. you want to enjoy the new york life while you're living there, but holy fuck is it expensive! so after scrolling through your socials for way too long when you should have been studying, a specific video popped up and gave you a lightbulb moment.

“holy shit,” you whispered in the library.

now see, when you had that lightbulb idea three hours ago, you thought it was the greatest idea in the world for pretty easy money. now when you’re sitting beside your boyfriend on his twin bed in his dorm, you're regretting asking him-

“have you ever thought about starting an only fan?”

pretty sure if he had food in his mouth he would choke or spit take if he was drinking something. and you wouldn’t blame him for that reaction.

chad’s eyes widened so far you thought they would fall from their sockets and he might catch flies with his open mouth. he almost seemed frozen like a statue, hands sitting on his thighs and chest barely moving with his breaths.

“chad… baby… can you- can you say something or nod.” shaking his calf that was beside you.

he squeaked a noise, very high pitched, and nothing else. you were regretting your lightbulb idea. you could always check if the campus has job openings, maybe you can get a part-time job on the weekends, but that would kill your relaxation time. damn, the idea is becoming more appealing with just the knowledge it’s not too hard and you can do it whenever. plus, you can always do it with chad… if he can find his voice.

“baby, i know it’s a weird question, but i just saw how some girls are making good pay. and i need the money. of course if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of me starting one-“ “woah, woah.”

the first two words chad spoke in the past fifteen minutes. your hands laid between your crisscrossed applesauce legs, body facing chad. he changed his position, one leg dangling over the side of his bed with the other bent inward.

“i have no problem with you making an account. it’s your body, your sexuality. you get to decide how you flaunt yourself to the world. i’ll happily support you from the sidelines, would love to have a sugar mama. i was just surprised, you just… i don’t know.” he trailed off with a shrug.

you knew what he meant. you're not outwardly super sexual or outrageous confident. a bit timid when it comes to showing off your body and still a bit shy when it comes to sex with chad even if you’ve been dating since junior year. but you know you have your moments, drunk or sober, where you will feel like the baddest bitch on the planet and nothing can stop you. and you want to chase that feeling more often.

“you know those videos from twitter porn-“ “oh so that's what gets you off.” you shoved at his knee and he flashed a cheeky smile. bastard.

“yeah, yeah. i watch twitter porn. anyway, there are certain videos where they just shoot from the chest and below, with no faces in view. probably what i would do in case anyone from the school finds it.” fingers picking at the bed sheets. acting like you haven’t thought of this all day.

“oh, you worried ethan’s gonna find it.” jaw dropped, “chad!” a high-pitched screech before you swatted at his shoulder, “leave your roommate alone! he’s completely innocent in this conversation.”

“ow, ow! okay, okay. i’ll leave him out of this potential situation.” hands up in surrender but you rolled your eyes.

now you were preparing yourself for the next question that you were sure would make chad have a heart attack. with your palm resting on your knee with your thumb rubbing at the bend, you took a breath.

“also… i was wondering if… you would maybe want to do it… with me. porn- porn with- with me. filming our… sex.” yeah, definitely a good sales pitch. your stuttering and not making eye contact as your body grew hotter.

honestly, you were waiting to hear the words, “i don’t think this is gonna work…” you kept putting your foot into your mouth.

a meek gander at chad and he was squinting his eyes at you while leaning forward. your eyes widened just a bit, “what? is- is it so crazy i thought about filming our sex?” voice rising in pitch from panic.

now his eyes went from slits to an owl, fully open at your unfiltered words slipping past your defenses. you were a second from jumping off the bed and leaving the space before chad spoke with a teasing lit, “oh, so our sex is that good? you think people would buy from you and constantly watch the two of us, cause i kinda agree. i am very good at sex.”

now you couldn’t help to raise a brow at that, “oh, and i’m not? only chad’s good at sex in this relationship. if i recall just last week this room was filled with a whole lot of whimpering and whining…and it wasn’t from my mouth.” leaning into chad’s space with a seductive drop in your voice.

he didn’t shy away from the closeness that was your hands near his inner thighs and your breath fanning over his face. he, himself, inches closer with the tip of his nose bumping into yours as he dropped his voice, a thick tumble that stirred a warmth deep in your belly. “and i was happy to be at your beckoning.” he turned his head just a tick to the right and planted a feather kiss to the apple of your cheek.

a shaky breath escaped parted lips, eyes fluttering closed as you whispered into one of chad’s ears, “wanna get started on some videos?” chad didn’t say anything, just leaving more feather-light touches to your ear lobe than to the junction of your jawline. he muttered, “why don’t we do a warm-up round before the real performance starts.”

and you didn’t protest at the idea.

#chad meeks imagine #chad meeks martin x reader #chad meeks #chad meeks martin #chad meeks x reader #chad meeks-martin x fem!reader #chad meeks-martin fluff #chad meeks-martin smut #chad meeks-martin scream 6 #chad meeks-martin scream5 #scream 6 #scream 6 x reader #scream 6 imagine #scream 5 #mason gooding fluff #mason gooding scream 6 #mason gooding imagine

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half-oz-eddie · 9 months

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Hawkins finally got a local radio station. Billy was hoping that the eclectic mix would mean he'd hear some new bands to broaden his tastes, but no! Because apparently, the DJ of this backwater town station was none other than Steve "The Hair" Harrington who only appealed to his friends, accepting requests for Madonna, The Clash, Duran Duran, and occasionally letting Mr. Clarke stop by to talk about the weather and "sciency bullshit."

Where was the Scorpions, the Metallica, the Mötley Crüe?!

"This station is for fuckin' losers." Billy groused as he changed the station. Just another reason to hate Hawkins even more.

Billy put on one of his preferred mixtapes for his drive. He always took long drives to get out of the house and calm himself down.

Eventually, he found himself near the station's center. He thought now was a good time to march right in there and hassle Harrington for his shitty music selection.

He parked right out front next to Steve's pretty little BMW, resisting the urge to ding it up before heading inside.

It was late, and fortunately for Billy (But unfortunately for Steve), Steve was all alone.

Billy ignored bright, blaring ON AIR sign and opened the door, walking right into the booth.

Steve's eyes grew wide and his brows deeply furrowed.

"Aaand now for a commercial break!" He turned off his mic and hastily pulled off his headphones, jumping out of his chair and approaching Billy who obnoxiously leaned against the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He questioned through his clenched teeth.

"I was in the area, figured I'd stop in and make a formal complaint...in person" Billy smirked.

Steve rolled his eyes. "What's your problem?"

"My problem is the music. Do you not have any taste?"

"I have taste!" Steve argued. "I play what the town likes to hear."

"So, I'm not part of this town?" Billy wondered, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"I never said that." Steve quickly contested, almost worried he'd hurt Hargrove's feelings.

Billy chuckled, blowing out the smoke. "You didn't have to. Guess that's fine. I'm not much of a...small town golden boy like you."

Steve let out an annoyed sigh. "If you wanted to make a request, why didn't you just call the line?"

"Because I gave King Steve the benefit of the doubt. Thought being a DJ would actually make you look cool. But it's doing nothing for your reputation."

Steve tusked, folding his arms and rolling his eyes. "My reputation is fine, actually."

"Oh yeah? When's the last time you had any bitches, huh, pretty boy? I hear all the girls do is laugh at you."

"Y-well..that's—that's not true." Steve faltered, unable to meet Billy's eyes as he laughed in his face.

"Hey, look. If you wanna be cool, stop playing music for just the dweebs and Hallmark Card families. Throw some party mixes in there. I can't crack open a beer to this, or play your station at a party."

"And I'm supposed to be taking advice from you?"

"You need my help, and you know it." Billy brushed past him and sat in his chair.

"Hey, hey, hey—"

"What's happenin', Hawkins? This is DJ Hargrove taking over the graveyard shift, bringing you the latest, the greatest, and the baddest. Grab your lady, grab a beer, and enjoy!"

Billy switched the cassette to his favorite mixtape as Steve threw his hands into the air, mouthing "I'm screwed, I'm gonna get fired."

"C'mon, this isn't a toy, get up."

Billy pushed Steve away as Steve tried to pull him out of the chair, when the phone rang.

Steve's heart nearly fell out of his ass. "That's probably my boss. If you got me fired, you're gonna pay."

Billy laughed and shrugged. "Worth it."

"H-hello?"

"Hey, just callin' in to say that DJ Hargrove's graveyard shift mix is bitchin'!"

"I'm so sor—wait, did you say you think it's bitchin'?"

"Yeah, man! Keep it up!"

Steve slowly put down the receiver, unable to shake the shock. He turned to Billy, annoyed by the smug smile on his face.

"So...it's bitchin', huh?"

"Ugh." Steve scoffed. "I guess...you...were right."

"Of course I was right. I'm never wrong."

"Hey, you...wanna swing by and play your mixes on the air sometimes?"

"Oh, now you need me?" Billy laughed. "I'll think about it. How much do I get paid?"

"Paid?!" Steve let out a defeated sigh. "I'll talk to my boss."

"In that case, I guess we'll be co-workers."

Steve smiled. Maybe Hargrove wasn't so bad. Maybe it would be nice to get along with him for a change.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove fanfiction #ivy.doc #caliscoops.doc

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strangeknight · 1 day

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KEVIN: Just get her another bow.

ARCHIE: I'm not buying her a bow, Kevin.

KEVIN: Okay, then why assemble such an obvious selection of people for this if you won't even listen to us?

VERONICA: It's not 'cus you're gay that nobody listens to you, Kevin.

MOOSE: I listen to him...

KEVIN: Thank you, Moose. Everyone wants to celebrate Riverdale's premier haunted bitch just because she's a lesbian! I'm stating the obvious here. Paint it orange, white, and pink for all I care!

VERONICA: So, I love love, right... but why does Archie even want to get Cheryl a wedding present.

[BETTY WHISPERS SOMETHING IN VERONICA'S EAR]

VERONICA: No way!

ARCHIE: Hey, I heard that! Yeah. Sure. Cheryl 'n' I got a long history, and some of it runs bloody, but I'm not that good at presents. And here I think my friends have a few brain cells to scrape together some good ideas... But I don't want the easy answer. What do you think Cheryl deserves, and why?

BETTY: Oh! I know just the thing!

JUGHEAD: Fuck- Betty, don't you--

[BETTY BEGINS TO CAST A SPELL. THE AUDIENCE IS FORCED TO PLAY ALONG WITH THIS.]

BETTY: Hold on to thy knickers and gird what's left of thy soul, 'cause we're in--

KEVIN: Limbo?!

GIFT IDEA #1:

ARCHIE: Betty, I was talking the shopping mall, not the--

VERONICA: --Archipelago of Anguish and Redemption?!

BETTY: Is there a difference? Two redheads, one wedding day? The anguish you feel. The redemption you both must seek! Last time I was here, January McAndrews told me allll about the best local custom I've ever heard of! She said that whenever a forlorn, disavowed, redhead seeks redemption in the eyes of a friend, they rip off a horn of a demon and give to them! As a gift!!

REGGIE: That is a very specific custom.

VERONICA: She totally just made it up.

BETTY: Did not!

ARCHIE: I'm trying to be very supportive here, Betty... But in no dimension am I "forlorn" over Cheryl, and we aren't ripping horns off of demons.

BETTY: They grow back. Jughead gets it!

JUGHEAD: So much trauma...

VERONICA: Beat up demon baddies? Say less. Reggie, you in?

REGGIE: I would never condone violence against minorities, Veronica. ...But I do support women.

VERONICA: Hell yeah.

BETTY: Perfect. Allll we need to do is find our big, bad boy... And the kind of demon we need is really, really, really-- There he is!

ARCHIE: Shit. Anyone got a better gift Idea?

VERONICA: Okay. Betty's idea was cute o whatever, but-- heartbreak? Redemption? Call me blah! Cheryl is the baddest bitch in the business. There's only one thing she respects...

GIFT IDEA #2:

KEVIN: The Savage Land?!

JUGHEAD: Oh, dear god. Sweet relief.

VERONICA: Honestly, the location doesn't matter for my gift idea. But I had to compete with Limbo, right? And if I got a choice, I'm going tropics, babe.

ARCHIE: Are you saying that we could have been teleported to J.C. Penny?

VERONICA: First of all, Archie-kins. Ew.

ARCHIE: Veronica, I just suplexed a twenty-foot demon. I am not ready to take on dinosaurs today. Get to the point.

VERONICA: 'Kay. Whatever you think of Cheryl --and sure, she's done messed-up shit against a lot of messed-up bitches-- you can't deny her staying power. I mean, she's the Sapphic Serpent. So, we can cheer the gay and gender stuff or that she's one of the greatest Serpent freedom fighters, like ever. And, according to moi, we should honor that cred by creating a gift. Let's combine our abilities in a magic circuit.

JUGHEAD: Pardon?

VERONICA: Ain't no gift like our special gifts, amirite?

KEVIN: Full offense, both your ideas sucked. And here's why--

REGGIE: Ugh, what's that smell?

GIFT IDEA #3:

KEVIN: My bedroom!

VERONIC: Excuse me?

ARCHIE: This is getting really weird. I'm calling this field trip off.

KEVIN: No! Here me out. Everyone's talking about love and redemption and freedom fighting, but nobody's asking-- does Cheryl deserve a gift at all?

JUGHEAD: Okay, rude.

KEVIN: But-- literally. She's attacked and betrayed the police. Like sixty times. She lies. She manipulates. She also just straight up kills people! She's haunted! But, wooow, she's getting gay married, so let's just overlook all that! Like, this is our great queer rep? A haunted murderer?

ARCHIE: Kevin, get to the gift idea! Because I've seen way too much today already.

KEVIN: No gift. Give one to FP instead.

JUGHEAD: Yo, has he met my dad? Bro sucks.

END.

#chuck chatters #marvel #x-men #riverdale

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crellanstein · 4 years

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Prodigious

I find it odd how the fandom focuses so much on Aang’s childhood being ruined when he learned he was the Avatar at 12, but there’s very little talk about how discovering she was the Avatar as a toddler affected Korra’s life and how she was raised.

But we’ll circle back to that...

Because this is a good starting point to talk about one of the most prevalent themes in the story, which the mainstream discussion of tends to only focus on a few characters -- That is the Child Prodigy.

We’ll start with the two most obvious. The ones we always talk about.

Azula.

The clearest example of your typical child prodigy (if there is anything typical about a prodigy). Azula showed early mastery of very advanced Fire-Bending techniques, and is the only Fire-Bender to use blue flames, which was intended to make her stand out amongst the other villains but is also indicative that her Fire-Bending is more pure and powerful (blue flame is produced when burning pure O2 or fuel without contaminant at a very high temperature).

All this lead to her being praised and favored by Ozai as a child, but as double-edged swords go, this also meant she had a lot of pressure on her shoulders to never fail, and she rarely did. Her ego matched her talent, and let’s be honest she was the baddest bitch the show had ever seen. Conquering Ba Sing Se, defeating the Avatar in combat, and dropping some of the most devastating lines of dialogue in villain history; she was a force nobody wanted to reckon with.

And that become a problem for one asshole in particular...

Being jealous of his own child is just one item on a laundry list of reasons why this guy is the worst father in the history of fathers. Azula had begun to outshine him with her victories, and Ozai’s maniacal ego couldn’t handle that, so he left her behind to babysit the Fire Nation while he went out to burn/conquer the world, which also was her idea.

And while this wasn’t the only thing that aided in her demise, it certainly was the final straw which sent her spiraling down into this...

In the end Azula is a sad example of how certain unfair expectations are placed upon talented children, and the more they succeed, the more these expectations grow and weigh on the them until they either disappoint those looking down on them or surpass and embarrass their elders.

It is a lose-lose situation which inevitably destroys them.

There is a similar example of the child prodigy, but his story goes a little different.

Aang.

Even as a twelve/thirteen year-old boy Aang by far has the most impressive stats among any character in the Avatar universe.

Basically mastering 3 of the 4 Elements in less than a year, after mastering Air by the time he is twelve (not to mention inventing his own Air-bending move, the Air scooter).

Aang is an example of a child prodigy who had too much thrust onto him at too young an age because of the talent he showed; because of this he panicked and ran away, and the world was worse off for it.

Aang/Sokka/Katara’s story is all about how in times of War, responsibilities normally handled by adults are pushed onto kids who then have to grow up very fast in order to deal with it all.

The message is clear. War robs the young of their childhoods.

Now, let’s talk about a different kind of child prodigy.

The Unacknowledged.

Yes, of course I’m talking about Toph, the greatest Earth-Bender to ever live.

Because of her blindness, Toph’s family tried to keep her sheltered and safe by hiding her from the world. Refusing to believe she could ever be more than helpless. Anyone who has seen the show knows that is far from the truth.

But because her potential went unseen, there were some negative effects to her personality. Initially, she resented her parents, and rebelled; which established a certain level of independence, a bad attitude, and a hot-headed streak. Over time spent with the Gaang these behaviors subsided because she finally had friends and they accepted her for who she was. By the end of the series she was fully willing to accept aid from them when she needed it, like holding on to Sokka’s arm in environment where her bending couldn’t help her “see”.

Toph’s story is a foil to Azula’s, both showed immense talent and badassery, but while recognition of Azula lead to ever-mounting pressure for her to succeed; the lack of recognition for Toph created a need for her to be acknowledged and set an undercurrent of frustration which leads to her acting out in the ways she does.

The lesson to take from Toph’s story is not to shelter your kid from the world out of fear for their safety, and to be open to recognizing their talents, not shun them.

Next are two more Unacknowledged.

Katara and Sokka.

Their story, and the reason behind their circumstances, is one of the more complicated and nuanced ones in the series, so here we’ll focus on how it fits into the subject of discussion.

Because of the War, Katara was robbed not only of her mother but also of any Southern Masters to train her, and any role models Sokka could have looked up to left with his father to fight. Because of this Katara’s potential and Sokka’s genius went unacknowledged not due to neglect but rather due to circumstance. (Yes, I think Sokka is a genius, how many 15 yr olds do you know that can plan an invasion, design submarines, and spit poetry off the cuff?).

This is a further example of how War robs kids of necessary childhood experiences, and these two robberies had particular effects on both Katara and Sokka’s character developments.

Sokka had the responsibility of protecting his home put upon him at a young age. The men of his tribe leaving prevented him from completing his rite of manhood until the Gaang ran into Bato of the Water Tribe, and early on Sokka was constantly trying to prove himself as a man and a leader. Sokka is one of the smarter characters of the series, but he rarely got credit for it until the third season. Not to mention that because he wasn’t a bender he often seemed less useful than the others. The circumstances of war made his talent go unnoticed and because of that he often was unsure of himself and overcompensated to prove something.

Speaking of talent going unnoticed.

Katara is definitely one of the more talented benders of the series. After training herself for years with little progress, she essentially mastered Water-Bending in a few weeks under Master Pakku. While her anger towards the Fire-Nation mostly centers around the loss of her mother, it can’t be ignored that the delay in her training was a direct result of the Fire-Nations’ actions. Toph’s anger and frustration vented itself as rebellion. However, the same frustration and anger is within Katara, but because she wasn’t as natural a bender as Toph she sought to learn and be respected, and when that was denied to her is when that anger bubbled to the surface in some terrifying ways.

While Toph’s talent went unnoticed because of her families neglect, Katara and Sokka’s wasn’t acknowledged because there was nobody to acknowledge it. Because of that both brother and sister wanted to prove themselves to the world.

And then there is Zuko.

I know what you’re thinking. Zuko wasn’t a prodigy, his Fire-Bending skill didn’t catch up with Azula’s until the finale and he never mastered Lightning-Bending, but this section is about the Unacknowledged.

Zuko had many other talents besides Fire-Bending, he was a master swordsmen, and was able to successfully break into every secure facility he attempted in the show (which was almost every secure facility the show featured). Unfortunately, these talents were never recognized, because the only thing the royal family cared about was bending ability (It’s possible the reason he learned the sword was because he lacked skill in Fire-Bending).

As per usual with Zuko, this part of his tale is quite sad. Many can relate to being outshined by a sibling, and when it becomes all too clear that one cannot match another’s talent it’s quite understandable to focus on what they do excel at, but even then there is no promise of recognition for their own talent. Zuko was even mocked by his father during the solar eclipse when Ozai tried baiting him into attacking with his swords.

This lack of recognition is one of many sad aspects of Zuko’s early life, but it is a definitive example of one of the hardest unacknowledged prodigy’s cross to bear. The Outshone prodigy, one whose talents are never noticed because a bigger and brighter star stands in the way of such recognition, and arguably the most frustrating type mentioned here. Toph/Sokka/Katara all came from situations were there was no recognition being given to them or anyone, but Zuko had to bear watching massive amounts of praise be piled on to his sister while he and his accomplishments went by the way side.

Ozai summed up the situation best.

“Azula was born lucky, Zuko was lucky to be born”

Alright now where have I been going with all this?

So, far we’ve covered a lot of wrong ways to treat a child, whether they show talent or not, and how the circumstances of war can also take many things from children.

But what happened to Korra?

(Before we get into to this I should state that I like Korra, and the purpose of this is not to bash her as a character or her arc, but rather to give a little of my insight into it.)

It’s well established that Aang was told of his heritage too young, and that was a detriment on his development into an adult, but what would have happened if he realized his powers himself not long after he could walk? We’ll never know, but we do get to see the effects it had on Korra.

When she revealed herself as the Avatar, Korra set her entire life in a new direction, and because Aang tasked the White Lotus with finding and training her that direction was out of her control. There are two key differences between Korras’ and other Avatars’ lives.

1. She grew up in isolation on a White Lotus compound.

Every Avatar before Korra we know of spent a portion of their early lives traveling the world in order to master the elements; along this journey they not only learned how to bend the other 3 elements, buy also many things about the 3 other nations and the world they are tasked to protect as a whole. By confining Korra in safety and bringing the masters to her the White Lotus deprived Korra of this opportunity to learn and grow and understand the world and the people within in. It also deprived her of learning modern bending styles until she reached Republic City.

While this might have kept Korra safe from the Red Lotus, it grew within her a naiveté about how the world worked, and because of this when she actually did venture out into the world she was terribly unprepared for it.

2. She was trained and mastered 3 of the elements by the time she was 16.

Most Avatars don’t know they have this power until they reach 16 and then they spend several years learning to control it. Korra’s natural talent in the bending lead to her training being expedited not by necessity like Aang’s, but due to her talent and eagerness. Korra excelled at the physical part of being the Avatar and because of this by the time she reached maturity she had become over-confident in her abilities and true to what her Fire-Bending master said in Ep.1 she lacked restraint.

I’m not saying her bending isn’t great, but rather because it is so great it’s her go-to solution to anything, and she enjoys that so she uses it with enthusiastic gusto and not a lot of thinking before striking.

This overconfidence coupled with her naiveté of the world is what lead to many of her rash decisions and actions, most of which had negative consequences, and I believe are the reason behind some fan are dissatisfied with her. Aang had been almost the complete opposite, even by the age of twelve he was an experienced world traveler and an incredibly humble guy.

Some may have been dissatisfied by these character decisions, but they served a purpose, they are only the beginning of her arc. The internal challenge Korra must overcome through 4 seasons is to humble herself before the world, and learn from it. This was finally achieved in the 4th season when the metal poisoning in her body forces her to face others in the world as equals, only then had she completed her journey.

And why did it all go this way?

Because she is a very unique child prodigy, what she demonstrates in the first episode of LOK would be akin to a toddler playing the violin or hitting a three-pointer; she could bend 3 elements close to just after learning to walk. That is the kind of prodigious talent rarely seen because it is mostly impossible. How does a rational person handle a child like that?

It’s a tough question, and something this essay has been circling around the whole time. Each example here is the wrong way to handle talented and different children, but what is the right way?

As always look to Iroh.

Who treated his surrogate son Zuko with both respect and compassion.

Unlike Toph’s parents, Iroh worried over Zuko’s well being, but also allowed him to be independent, make his own decisions, and take his own risks.

Unlike the Nomad Leaders, he didn’t want Zuko weighed down by his position in the world and the responsibility that came with, and always encouraged him relax and take advantage of the moment.

Unlike Ozai, Iroh would always be there to support Zuko in his victories and his failures. Iroh shows him the right path but does not force him down it.

And even after Zuko betrayed and abandoned him.

Iroh was never angry with him, and embraced him upon his return.

He wanted Zuko to grow and be a better man. Even if Zuko wasn’t a prodigy like his sister.

And that is the answer here. The way to raise a prodigy is the same way anyone should raise any child. Love, Support, a Guiding Hand rather than a Forceful Shove, Recognition of What Makes Them Unique, and Forgiveness When They Falter. The problem comes along when you start treating children differently because you see them as different or special. All children are different, all children are special.

Kids are kids, and they all deserve a proper childhood.

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lxvislxdy · 3 years

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Imagine Bakugou x stoner!reader

So... maybe I got carried away, and maybe this turned into more of just you and the bakusquad being besties, but I literally love this concept and will 100% be writing more.

Warning(s): obvious mentions of drug use, and some language. All characters are 18+.

So, let’s say, just for the hell of it, that this is a quirkless!college!au

just imagine...

- you befriend Sero and Denki first, meeting them in a class, and they love you right off the bat

- you’re personality just meshes so well with theirs, you become bffs almost instantly

- the three of you raise hell in that class, I’m convinced, like RIP to whoever sits near you goofs

- you slowly start to hang out outside of class. maybe it starts as a study sesh, but let’s be honest here. the three of you can’t focus to save your life, and eventually Sero asks if you guys wanna smoke

- and, to their complete surprise, you outsmoke them (Denki later bows down to you, literally, and proposes to you with a ring pop. he’s such a dork I love him)

- this becomes a weekly thing, as it should, and the three of you are practically attached at the hip

- your favorite part of hanging with them is, of course, all their crazy stories about their friends

- so of course they want to introduce you to the bakusquad, and you are just as eager to meet the rest of the group, if not a little nervous

- Denki and Sero assure you they’ll love you (”c’mon, you’re just like us, they’ll adore you!!!”) and they take you out to lunch with Mina and Kirishima

- now, if you thought you, Denki, and Sero was a chaotic trio, just wait until you add Mina to the equation

- Kirishima lives for the chaos and thinks you’re adorable, but the guy has his hands full keeping the four of you out of trouble, that’s for sure

- (when Bakugou’s not around, Kirishima is in charge of the braincell, I don’t make the rules)

- Mina immediately kidnaps you for a girls night, and is ecstatic about having a girl to hang out with her and the boys

- (SIDE NOTE, Mina introduces you to Jirou, and the three of you are THE baddest bitches around, thank you. the three of you definitely have girl nights and either kick the boys out, or force them to join, face masks and all)

- anyway, you finally get the opportunity to meet Bakugou

- and, as always, he’s in a sour mood. but! you don’t let his grumpiness upset you, in fact, you take it in stride and throw his attitude right back at him

- you aren’t mean, and you certainly aren’t going out of your way to bug him, but if Bakugou makes a snide comment? you better believe you’re throwing one right back at him

- and at first, Bakugou is annoyed, and thinks you’re mocking him. like, who do you think you are?

- but the more he gets to know you, he realizes that you’re way too sweet to be that mean. you fit right in with the idiots he’s friends with.

- and, to be honest, it drives him nuts. because he likes you. he likes you, and he likes when you snap back at him, and he likes watching you goof off and laugh with his friends

- in true Bakugou fashion, though, you’re convinced he hates you. it’s just the icing on top of the cake when one night you notice that every time you’re there, and Sero lights up, Bakugou disappears

- when you finally tell Mina this, she laughs. actually laughs! and you’re just like ....what?

- turns out, Bakugou hardly ever smokes with them, and he’s just like that.

“Trust me, babe,” Mina tells you, “It’s not you. Bakugou just doesn’t know how to relax, he’s got a terrible case of trust issues and a bad attitude to top it off. But he likes you, trust me! He’ll come around.”

- you weren’t so sure about that, but you take her word for it.

- and then, one night it’s just you, Denki, Mina, and Bakugou, and he stays!

“Someone with a brain has to make sure you idiots don’t do something stupid.” He says, when you ask.

- that night ends up being one of the funniest nights of your life. the three of you are high as a kite, and everything is funny. seriously, you can’t stop laughing!

- then, you find out Bakugou’s birthday is on 4/20, and you have never been so excited in your life (so you say). it’s the funniest, most ironic thing to you

- you go up to Bakugou, grabbing both his arms by the biceps, and are going on and on about it, bouncing on the balls of your feet and giggling, and Bakugou just listens to you talk and he blushes

- you’re adorable, and he can’t lie to himself anymore, he likes you. he really likes you. and this realization really freaks him out (he calls Kirishima later that night absolutely freaking out, and he has to totally calm him down. Kiri ships it)

- over the next month or two, he tries his best to not give himself away, but it’s so hard.

- he starts sticking around when everyone smokes together, and sitting next to you during movie nights (because you always fall asleep, and theres a good 80% chance you end up leaning on his shoulder), and he offers to help when you complain about a class you’re struggling with

- and it all comes to a head one night when he gets jealous.

- he was definitely reading too much into things, but he swears you’re acting clingy with Sero, leaning on his shoulder, and grabbing his arm when you laugh, and playing with his hair. he definitely has himself convinced Sero is making a move on you, and he’s pissed.

- at some point during the hangout, he gets up and storms out of the room, and no one really notices but you and Kiri. after a minute or two you’re curiosity gets the best of you, so you go after him

- he’s in the kitchen, glaring at this plant Denki and Sero have (that is totally, 100% dying, and probably can’t be saved) and he’s pouting

“I don’t think staring at it is gonna bring it back to life.” You say, and he just looks at you weird and asks what you want

- you say you’re just checking on him, and he asks why you care. and you’re just like dude ??? i care about you? hello? we’re friends ??

- and Bakugou, being himself, snaps at you and makes some kind of rude comment

- so you snap back, offended because you’d just wanted to check on him

- and halfway through you telling him what a jerk he is, he kisses you

- he kisses you like his life depends on it, because he’s still pissed off about Sero and, come on, Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t do anything halfway

- and maybe the two of you make out in the kitchen for way longer than you want to admit

- and maybe you laugh and call him an idiot when he tells you he was jealous of Sero

- and maybe Denki catches the two of you, and screams like a little girl on christmas morning

- cue protective Denki and Sero telling Bakugou he better not EVER hurt you... and then crying happy tears a minute later because you’re so cute together

- after that, Bakugou is literally never seen without you by his side. he walks you to class, cooks you dinner at least once a week, helps you study and takes you out every time you ace a test. this man knows your coffee order, and has your schedule memorized, it’s impressive

- god forbid he see’s you eating junk food

- listen, he knows how Denki and Sero eat when they get the munchies, okay, and that is absolutely not allowed. this man is such a simp behind closed doors, he will literally make you homemade snacks for when you go smoke with the guys.

- he’s not the greatest with words, okay, but he loves you and he shows it through small things like that. he’s always pushing you to do your best, and bragging about you, and doing little things to remind you how much he cares

- he’s also a little over protective, but he means well, and cmon it’s kinda cute when he get’s jealous, sometimes

- but overall you guys are just the cutest couple. like the bakusquad is absolutely obsessed. (you make Bakugou soft, but don’t tell him they said that)

- and sure you fight over little things every once in a while, but you learn how to handle Bakugou’s attitude quick, and it never lasts too long.

- if you do have a big fight, you take a step back and let each other cool down, and then you make Bakugou talk it out. he hates it at first, because sharing his feelings is so not something he wants to do, but it does help and he knows it.

- if, on the rare occasion, the two of you have a bad fight you can’t resolve on your own, therapist Kiri is there to save the day

Bonus:

- now, let’s get down to the whole reason i made this au in the first place

- the first time the two of you celebrate his birthday after getting together, he makes it clear that the day of he just wants to spend it with you

- so the weekend closest to his bday, the whole squad goes out and celebrates, but when it comes to his actual bday? Bakugou has a surprise for YOU

- you show up to his apartment, not really knowing what to expect, and this man pulls out a pan of brownies

- yeah, those brownies

- turns out, he and Sero used to sell them in high school

“What? Sero already sold, and I can cook, so we just... did it. It was good money.”

“How could you keep this from me?! Have I told you recently that I adore you?”

He just laughs, “You’re such a dork.”

- so you have the PLEASURE of getting high with Bakugou for the first time

- and let me just tell you, you’re in for a treat

- Bakugou. is. so. clingy. as soon as it hits, you know, because he’s wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his lap

- he’s speaking so softly?? and he’s just relaxed, and content with holding you and talking about anything and everything, just cuddling with music in the background

- high! makeout sessions! with Bakugou! that’s it, that’s literally it. he is INSATIABLE

- the man just wants to kiss you, for hours, okay? give him what he wants!!

- he used to get super paranoid, that’s why he doesn’t smoke much, but with you he’s calm and comfortable, and not anxious

- it becomes tradition to make brownies on both of your birthdays, and you look forward to it all year

- and every once in a while, Bakugou will smoke with the squad, and they quickly learn that he can’t keep his hands off of you when he’s high. they tease him relentlessly, and Sero and Denki definitely have asked him (aka whined to him) to stop hogging all your attention

- also, he definitely lights the bowl for you, because he is a gentlemen

- shotgun kisses. yup. that’s all I have to say.

before I get carried away again, this is the end. Thank you for reading! I literally can’t get enough of this au I’m in love with it!! I’ll be writing more of this au soon, hopefully, and my requests are open!!

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~sixth chapter rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Series Masterlist

Two months later, you sat outside The Daily Bugle and impatiently bounced your leg. While waiting to see if your boss liked your first draft of the Cleatus Kassidy article, you reflected on your past two months in New York.

It was now June. You and Venom had fallen into a routine. You’d work on the Cletus article by day and go patrolling at night. Of course, being Venom wasn’t a nightly occurrence. You’d only go out eating once or twice a week. Still, you managed to have 11 run ins with Spider-Man.

You and Peter had become significantly closer in that past two months as well. You’d help him with his homework, though you secretly thought he was smarter than you, and he helped me with your story. Some nights, he’d visit you on your fire escape and watch the sun go down. You had no idea how he got there, but you didn’t care.

You’d send him science puns while he was at school and he’d bring you food and keep you company when You had writers block. Your favorite was the long talks on the roof. You would sit there for hours and tell each other everything. You knew all his secrets and he knew yours.

Well, not all.

But the best part of all was that every now and then, you’d catch the other staring. Then, the other would stare back until someone, usually Peter, started to lean in. Every time you thought you were finally going to take the next step, something would interrupt you. Whether it was May knocking or Ned barging in or Peters phone ringing. That was another thing about Peter. His damn phone was always ringing and then he’d have to dash off somewhere, leaving you with a random excuse or something about an internship. Sometimes, you’d wish he’d just throw his phone aside and kiss you already.

“Great work so far, L/n.” Your boss tore you away from your thoughts. “I knew you’d be right for the job.”

“Thank you, Mr. Jameson.” You stammered as you stood up. “I really appreciate you giving me this job. I was kinda blackballed back in San Francisco.”

“I know.” He shrugged. “But you ask the hard hitting questions that people want to hear. Once this article is out, I want you to write one on Venom.”

“Venom?” You gulped at her name.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “You know that scary black monster that’s been fighting Spiderman? I’m thinking an exposé on that menace webhead and his latest enemy, and I think you’d be perfect for the job.”

 “I would love to.” You said quickly. “I’ll start researching right away.”

With that, you turned on your heel and left the building before Venom caused a scene.

“Monster?” Venom roared once you got in your car. “Scary?”

“I know.” You whined. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was gonna call you that.”

“His whole job is reading about the most dangerous criminals in New York. If he thinks we’re scary, what’s Peter gonna think?” Venom asked. You laughed in dismissal until you thought about what he said.

What would Peter think? What if you told Peter who you really were and he ran away? He was sweet and understanding, but how understanding could he possibly be when you tell him you can turn into a flesh eating monster?

That’s when you realized you were scared. You were scared of letting Peter in and him letting himself right out. You were scared of repeating the mistakes you made with Andy. No, not scared.

Petrified.

What if Peter didn’t like what he saw? What if he realized you were too messy to be with? Or had too much baggage? Peter deserved a nice girl. One with a normal family and friends. One without depression. One without a flesh eating symbiote attached to their immune system.

“What’s wrong baby?” Venom asked with concern. She cuddled around your neck and nuzzled into your cheek.

“I can never be with Peter.” You whispered, mostly to yourself. Hot tears of frustration filled your eyes so you looked up to keep them from falling. Admitting it felt like a fatal blow to the stomach. Venom tied your hair up with one of her arms and wiped the tears from your face.

“Why do you say that?”

You thought about it for a moment before answering. You didn’t want to tell Venom that you were feeling insecure. She freaked out on you whenever you said something negative about yourself. You didn’t wanna another 100 slide PowerPoint titled “why Y/N L/N is the baddest bitch in the galaxy”. Especially since forty of those slides were just pictures of your butt. You appreciated Venom wanting to help but you were feeling the kind of insecure that a pep talk couldn’t fix. You needed to figure it out on your own. So instead, you told her a different fear you had.

“Because. Look at us. We’re the only thing keeping each other alive.” You reasoned. “What if we get separated and die? I can’t become one of those people in Peters life who loved him and then left him. His mom, his dad, his Uncle Ben. I don’t want to die and leave Peter behind. He’s been through enough. He’d be so much better off without me.”

“We’re not gonna die. You protect me and I protect you. Nothing will hurt us as long as we have each other.” Venom assured you.

“I can’t protect you like you protect me.” You said softly. “I’m just a human. What if something happens to me and you die because of it?”

“Nothing will happen to you, Y/N. I promise. I won’t let it.” Venom swore. You looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

“I won’t let anything happen to you either.” You said, but you didn’t promise it. You knew you couldn’t promise it.

“And you can be with Peter.” Venom insisted. “On Klyntar, we mate for life. And we think you’ve found your mate in Peter.”

“What does that mean?” You wondered.

“It means we’ve become attached to him and will never be happy with anyone else.” Venom said. You let out a shaky breath as that wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You needed a reason to shut your feelings for Peter down.

“Like soulmates?” You asked.

“Exactly like soulmates.” Venom answered.

“Well what happens on Klyntar if someone is your soulmate but you’re not theirs?”

“Then we go into a cave and mourn until we die alone of heartbreak.” Venom said simply.

“That sounds about right.” You laughed sadly as you took a second to think.

“I’m gonna call that guy back.” You said suddenly.

“What guy?” She asked.

“They guy who asked me out at the coffee shop this morning.” You reminded her.

“The one with the stupid hair? Why would you call him?” Venom asked angrily.

“What was wrong with his hair?” You laughed.

“It was blonde. We like brunette.” Venom said with a devilish grin.

“His hair was fine.” You rolled your eyes. “And I’m gonna call him to say yes to the date.”

“Why would we do that when we like Peter?” Venom whined.

“Because if Peter doesn’t like us, I don’t want to die of heartbreak alone in a cave.” You admitted.

“He does love you.” Venom protested.

“We don’t know that.” You shook your head. “It’s just one date. I need to get back out there anyway. I haven’t gone on a date Andy and I broke up.”

“Fine.” Venom grumbled. “But this is a terrible idea and I’m going to complain the whole time and sing the Les Mis soundtrack in your head.” This was one of those moments where she felt more like your toddler than your symbiote.

You gave the guy a call before driving back to your apartment. As fate would have it, you ran into Peter in the hallway on your way to your room.

“Hey Y/n!” Peter greeted you. “You want to come over later and help me with spanish? I’ll amo you mucho.”

You wanted so badly to say yes but you had to stick to the plan to squash your feelings for Peter.

“Aw, I’m sorry Pete. I wish I could but I have a date tonight.” You frowned, instantly regretting it when you saw the look on his face.

Peter’s heart sank to the floor as he emotions went from feeling devastated to feeling white hot anger in a matter of seconds

“A date?” He sputtered. “With who?”

“Some boy I met at the coffee shop.” You said weakly, knowing you were hurting him.

“Oh.” He said dully.

“Some boy.” He thought angrily. “Some freaking dirty ass sissy coffee boy asked my girl out.”

Peter felt like hunting the man down and smacking the shit out of him. Or at the very least, webbing him to a wall leaving him there until he missed the date.

“What’s his name?” Peter asked suddenly, wanting to put a name to his new mortal enemy.

“Matt.” You nodded slowly.

“Freaking Matt.” Peter thought. “Freaking dirty ass bitch ass Matt. Was Matt Spider-Man? No. Could Matt treat you as well as I could? Probably. But did he like you as much? No. Did he have inside jokes with you? No. Could he make you laugh your beautiful laugh just by doing a Captain America impression? No. He wasn’t good enough for you. He couldn’t do the things I could do. He was trash. He was a trashy dirty ass rat boy.”

“Interesting.” Peter said, keeping his thoughts to himself.

“I’ll text you when it’s over and maybe I can help you then.” You offered. That sound okay, guapo?”

Peter nodded sadly, not even acknowledging that you called him handsome. Actually, he probably had no idea that you did. He was smart, but only in English.

“That’s fine.” He nodded glumly. “I’ll see you later.”

You watched Peter trudge into his apartment and felt a pain in your heart. He seemed so upset all the sudden. It couldn’t be from your date, could it? It’s not like you told him you got engaged or something. It was one little date. And it’s not like Peter even made a move. He had no reason to be upset. You brushed it off and went into your apartment to get ready.

Just as Venom predicted, the date went horribly wrong. You drove back to the apartment in silence afterwards, leaving Matt to clean himself off back at the restaurant.

“Why did that happen?” You asked her after a long drive in silence. You were mortified from the events of the night but you needed to know why they happened.

“Because he wasn’t your soulmate.” Venom said simply.

“We defiled that boy.”

“It happens.” Venom stated.

“It shouldn’t.” You said, shocked at how nonchalantly she was being.

“But it does.”

You rode the rest of the way in silence, shooting Peter a text before asleep on your couch. You woke up a few hours later in a cold sweat and in tears. You didn’t know it, but Peter was listening to your breathing from his apartment. He had picked up the small cries of his name in your sleep with his superhearing and stayed up to see if you were okay.

You weren’t, by the way. You had had a nightmare that shook you deeply and left you shaking. It was about Peter, but not in a good way. In this dream, he laid injured on the ground after a fight. You were separated from Venom and bleeding out near Peter. You couldn’t do anything to save him. You couldn’t scream for help. And worse, you couldn’t protect him. It caused you great agony to not be able to reach him.

Without giving it another thought, you got off your couch and made your way to the door. You needed to see Peter and tell him how you felt.

You didn’t care about your insecurities anymore. You didn’t care about all the things keeping you apart. You only cared about him, and that was enough. He needed to know that and you couldn’t wait another second.

You swung open your front door, only to find Peter Parker outside it in pink Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and a tight white t-shirt. His hand was raised, like he was about to knock.

“Hey.” you breathed. His hair was tousled and sticking up in random places. He looked heavenly.

“Hi.” He said shyly.

“I was just about to go to your door. I had a bad dream.” You told him. You were anxious to skip the semantics and cut right to the chase.

The chase being, “I love you and I’m yours if you’ll have me.”

“Yeah, I heard. That’s why I’m here.” Peter explained. That’s not what he wanted to say. What he wanted to say was, “I’m always here if you need me. I’d go to the ends of the earth for you. I love you. It’ll be okay.”

Peter looked at you funny for a moment, like he was seeing something beneath the surface.

“She looks so beautiful.” He thought. Makeup free, hair a little messy, and nothing but an oversized sweatshirt to cover you. Peter recognized the sweatshirt as his own, one you had swiped from his laundry basket because you had been freezing while watching Alien in his room. He felt so honored to know that you slept in it. Peter wondered how many times he could fall in love with you in a short span of time. In the past few seconds, he’d fallen about 15 times. Once for every breath you took. And you were breathing quite heavily.

“You heard?” You asked, wondering how he

had possible heard from his apartment.

“My hearing is excellent.” He said quickly. “Are you alright?”

“Please be alright.” He thought. “I’d stop anything that tried to hurt you. I’ll protect you from the storm. Don’t shut me out. Don’t turn me away. Let me love you.”

“Um…” You trailed off and looked behind you at your empty apartment. The darkness looked anything but inviting. You couldn’t go back in there just yet.

“No?” It came out as more of a question.

“No? Do you want to talk about it-“ Peter was cut off when you rushed into his arm and hugged him tightly. He seemed taken aback, seeing as you nearly knocked the wind out of him. But as soon as he found his footing, he wrapped his strong arms around you and held you close. You relaxed in Peters embrace and let out a sigh.

“I had a nightmare.” You croaked. “You died and I couldn’t save you.”

“I know. It’s okay. You’re awake now. I’m here.” Peter said soothingly.

“I’ve been here the whole time.” He thought. “I will never abandon you. You are safe in my arms. Nothing can hurt you now. I won’t let it.”

You pulled away a little and looked at his face, seeing how tired it was.

“Would you stay with me?” You asked timidly. You didn’t want him to go. Not now, not ever.

“Always.” Peter answered with a smile. “As if I could ever leave you.”

Your lips lit up in a smile as your eyes fell to his lips. They lingered there for too long, or maybe just long enough. Peter took the hint and slipped his hand behind your neck and began to pull you closer. As your lips were about to touch, your door slammed, causing you to jump out of each other’s embrace.

“Shit balls.” You said immediately, letting out an annoyed sigh.

“What?” Peter asked, giggling a little at your choice of profanity.

“I just locked myself out.” You realized as you jiggled through door handle. Peter laughed louder this time and put a hand on your shoulder.

“Come on. You’re sleeping over.” He said, leading you back to his apartment with his hand on the small of his back.

You entered Peters room for the millionth time, but it felt the first time. Sure, you’d become good friends in the time you’ve lived in the building, but bedrooms were intimate places. The context of you being in Peters bedroom after going to him for comfort changes how you saw the place. After all, bedrooms were windows into the soul. Oh wait, that’s eyes. Still, the room was different. You didn’t feel like you were entering it. You felt like you were returning.

You looked around with a content smile on your face. He still had his academic decathlon posters on his wall, along with a few Avengers posters. Peter was pretty neat, but he was still a teenage boy. Socks and sweaters were strewn across the room. You saw him kicking a pair of boxers under his desk out of the corner of you eye. His room was so cute. It was so…Peter. You noticed a first aid kit on his desk next to his chemistry textbook and wondered what on earth he could be using it for.

“I’ve always liked your room.” You complimented as you touched a decathlon trophy on his dresser.

“Oh thank God.” Peter sighed in relief. “I thought you’d take one look at my nerdy ambiance and run.”

“Star Wars bedsheets?” You asked when you noticed the Death Star poking out under his duvet. You definitely hadn’t seen those before and found them endearing. Peters ears reddened and he fixed his duvet to cover them up.

“Those aren’t mine.” He said quickly.

“Are they Mays? As in May the force be with you?” You played along and he gave you a defeated smile.

“That was the worst thing anyone has ever said. Ever.” Peter joked. You laughed and he gave you a shy smile.

“Fine. They’re my bedsheets. Star Wars is cool, okay?” Peter defended. You took a seat on his bed and shrugged.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me Peter. I just didn’t know you were a loser, is all.”You said simply. Peter sat down on the bed next to you and rolled his eyes.

“Very funny. You’re the funniest person I know.” He said sarcastically. You nudged him with your elbow and he and hit you with a Yoda printed pillow.

“Mm. Good with the force you are.” You commented. Peter groaned loudly and told you to shut up.

“Enough playing around. How was your date?” Peter asked as he turned to face you. You could hear the pain in his voice and regretted ever telling him about the date.

“Oh, you know.” You shrugged. “Terrible.”

You weren’t going to let him off the hook that easy. If Peter really did like you and want to be with you, he needed to say it. He couldn’t just grumble and wallow in self pity when you were with another boy. You wanted to test him to see if he’d ever actually admit his feelings, but a part of you was still scared there were no feelings to admit to.

“Really?” He said excitedly. He cleared his throat to cover it up and grunted. “I mean, really?” He asked calmly.

“Yeah it was awful. I definitely won’t be seeing him again.” You sighed sadly, but you weren’t actually sad. You were just putting on a show for Peter. Peter bit the inside of his cheek to stop the smile from emerging.

“That’s terrible.” Peter lied. “What went wrong?”

His acting was equally as bad as your own. He had a shit eating grin on his face, pretending to be sad when he was clearly over the moon.

“It was going fine all night until the kiss.” You sighed dramatically, looking longingly out the window. You might as well have thrown yourself onto the balcony and cried out for Romeo. Peter, however, was buying every second of it.

“You guys kissed?” He asked, his voice heavy with disappointment. He looked miserable. All you wanted to do was throw your arms around his neck and tell him he was the only one for you. Instead, you kept your feelings to yourself and nodded slowly.

“Almost. He leaned in and…” instead of finishing your sentence, you just shrugged. You could tell Peter was on the edge of his seat so you dragged it as long as you could.

“And?” Peter practically begged. You let out another long, dramatic sigh as Peter took a slow sip of his water bottle.

“And I threw up on him.” You said simply. Peter spat out the water in his mouth and burst out laughing, doing his best to cover it up. You gave him a fake angry look but ended up laughing as well.

“What?” Peter laughed.

“He was such a tool.” You whined. “He talked down to me the entire night and then had the audacity to try and kiss me. I don’t know what happened but all the sudden he was leaning in and I was throwing up. He deserved it though. He treated me like was an idiot. I’m almost glad I threw up on him.”

Peters was overjoyed. He was about to say something when we heard a straggled cry of your name.

You and Peter rushed to his peephole and saw a familiar blonde haired boy standing in the hallway.

There he was, Matt, outside your apartment door with his phone on full volume playing “Hungry Eyes” from Dirty Dancing.

“What the actual hell?” You wondered out loud. “I better get rid of him.”

“Y/nnnnnn. I’m sorry I was a jerk.” Matt slurred. “Please talk to me. I told the doorman we were cousins. Then I told the elevator guy that I was your husband. You may need to move now. Y/nnnn.”

“You definitely can’t go out there.” Peter shook his head. “He could have a knife.”

“Or worse.” You whispered, making Peter looked at you fearfully. “He could have the same loser bedsheets you do.”

Peter scrunched his nose at you and picked up you swiftly to threw you onto the couch.

“Since when are you so strong?” You laughed in shock. Peter shrugged and held out a hand.

“Let’s go to bed.” He said. You raised an eyebrow and he quickly added, “In a non-sexual, platonic way.”

He was always so cautious of offending you or making you uncomfortable. You appreciated how much of a gentleman he was and knew Aunt May had implemented those qualities in him.

“You can take the bed.” He offered. “I’ll sleep on the couch. Let me know if you need anything.”

You nodded and climbed into his bed, patting the the space next to you.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You told him. “Get in.”

Peter looked at you with wide eyes, looking very unsure of himself as he toyed with the hem of his shirt.

He was torn. He wanted to get into the bed, but he also knew you were vulnerable right now and he didn’t want to take advantage of you. He didn’t want to do anything you’d end up regretting in the morning.

“Get in, in a non-sexual, platonic way.” You added. Peter relaxed but stayed standing. You pretended to splash Peter and twirled your hand around the bedsheets as if they were water.

“Come on in Parker. The waters warm.” You said in a low voice.

“I am…repulsed.” Peter deadpanned. In reality, he was dying to get in the bed. He wasn’t gonna try anything, he just wanted to feel you close. He wanted to comfort you and take the pain of the night away. Finally, he got into the bed and pulled the covers up. He shut off his lamp and we fell into comfortable silence.

“Good night, Peter.” You whispered, turning your back to him and cuddling into his pillow.

“Night, Y/n.” He whispered back. You felt his eyes on the back of your neck still. He didn’t want to close them and fall asleep. He wanted to stay in this moment as long as he could.

You soon felt hesitant arms wrap around your waist. Peter was very unsure of himself and kept his hands loosely on your hips, barely touching. You turned your neck around and looked at him quizzically.

“What the hell are you doing?” You demanded. His hands flew off your waist and his eyes widened with fear. He looked so apologetic, you thought he might cry.

“Do you not know how to cuddle?” You asked before he could blurt out an apology. You grabbed his arms and pulled them tightly around your body. You held his hands in your own, flush against your chest. Peter felt really tense at first and a bit stiff, but he soon relaxed and nestled into your hair.

“You smell really good.” He muttered. You laughed softly against his body, prompting Peter to hold you even tighter.

“I’ve wanted this for so long, Y/N.” He whispered. He said it so quietly, you figured he thought you had fallen asleep. “Sweet dreams.”

You woke up the next morning in Peter Parker’s arms. Subsequently, you wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of your life in Peter Parker’s arms. You were a mess of tangled limbs and hair but you found yourself firmly in his embrace, inhaling his cologne.

Peters eyes fluttered open suddenly and you were nose to nose.

“Hi.” You said softly, a playful smile resting on your lips. He was so pretty in the morning. He didn’t even have to try.

“Hey.” He chuckled. “This is new.”

“It is new. Is it okay?” You asked him, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

“Is waking up next to the actual sun okay?” He teased. “Uh yea, Y/n. It’s okay. You can sleep over anytime you like if it means more mornings like this.”

Of course he said that. He held all your strings and knew just how to tug them.

“Did you really not enjoy that date?” He whispered, but in his head thought, “Do you want to be with anyone else?”

You didn’t know why he was whispering, but the look in his eyes told you he was dead serious.

“Not in the slightest.” You answered honestly. What you wanted to say was, “Because it wasn’t with you.”, but you didn’t.

“Would you…would you want to go out with me sometime?” He asked shyly. “I promise I won’t throw up on you.”

He said the second part as if it was the only way you’d say yes to the date, which made you laugh.

“Peter Parker, I have waited exactly 64 days for you to ask me that question and you just had to ruin it by promising you won’t throw up on me?” You playfully scolded as Peters eyes lit up.

“Is that a yes?” He asked excitedly.

“It’s a yes.” You nodded, holding his nearest hand. “It’s always been a yes.”

“Can I-“ He began.

“Don’t ask.” You whispered. “Just do it.”

Peter leaned in slowly and you did the same. His lips had just ghosted yours when Aunt May knocked on the door. He bolted out of bed as you sat up.

“Breakfast is ready. Did you clean your room?” Aunt May called from the other side of the door.

“Yes.” Peter called back. You looked around. No he didn’t

“No you didn’t.” She said knowingly. She didn’t even have to see his room to know it wasn’t clean.

“I’ll clean it after.” He groaned.

“I’m coming in.” She said suddenly, making you and Peter look at each other in fear.

“Don’t! I’m naked.” He screamed.

“Fine. But it better be clean after breakfast. And put some clothes on. You should not be naked at 7 am.” Aunt May said. You heard her footsteps walking away and knew it was safe to speak. You got out of Peters bed as he got up to lock the door, his back still to you as he did it.

“Alright.” He sighed. “That should buy us some ti-“

The second he turned around, he was met with your lips on his. You had your hands on the sides of his face and your head tilted to the left. You felt Peters eyes flutter shut as his eyelashes tickled your cheeks. He was frozen at first, but slowly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer. You melted into him and he melted right back into you. The kiss was short and sweet, but absolutely perfect.

When you pulled away, Peter gave you the softest eyes ever. A grateful smile was on his lips.

“I am so over these interrupted moments.” You laughed softly as you shook your head. Peters eyes twinkled in agreement. The sun was coming through the window and made his brown eyes look like pots of honey. You could stare at them forever.

And then he kissed you again, with confidence this time. He wasn’t ready for the last one since you caught him off guard. You let your fingers tangle in the messy curls at the back of his neck, something you thought you’d only get to dream of doing. Peter groaned slightly into your mouth as you tugged on his hair, indicating that he liked it. He put his hand under your neck and slipped his toungue in your mouth. Who knew Peter Parker knew how to kiss? He tasted like morning breath, spearmint chapstick, and something you could only identify as being exclusively Peter. When you pulled apart, he looked up at the sky and sighed.

“If I wake up and this is all a dream I’m going to fight you.” He said menacingly.

“Did you just threaten God?” You laughed.

“For you? Anthing. I’ll fight anyone for your honor. Our Lord and Savior can catch these hands can square up.” He promised.

“You’ve gone to far.” You joked. “We need to break up.”

“Don’t even joke. I’ve waited too long for this.” Peter said as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m only teasing. I’ve waited my whole life for you Parker. I’m never letting you go.” You told him. He burst out in a smile and kissed you swiftly, then promptly got down on one knee.

“Will you please be mine, darling? Officially?” He pleaded softly. There was so much hope in his eyes so you pretended to think about it.

“Sorry.” You shrugged. “I’m pretty busy with Matt.”

Peter stood up and gripped your hips, pulling you closer while you let out a small gasp.

“I never want to hear his name again. He had the privilege of taking my girl on a date and treated her poorly?” He raised an eyebrow. “He’s a deadman if I ever see him around here. Now, I need you to tell me you’re my girlfriend before my heart explodes. Tell me you’re mine. I won’t believe it until you say it. ”

You nodded yes as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his lips.

“Peter Parker, I always have, and always will be, yours.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x venom!reader #venom!reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #iron man #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction

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thatsystemerror · 3 years

Text

the best things about Vikings

*spoilers ahead*

🎵VIKINGS playlist “in the name of the raven king” on Spotify🎵

Floki’s laugh

Floki in general (and his makeup!)

Katheryn Winnick as Lagertha

war paint

anyone saying “Christian” in a snarling/mocking manner with an Old Norse-ish accent always gets me

Ragnar taking the world by storm

“WHO WANTS TO BE KING?”

💖 Ragnar x Athelstan 💖

the Ragnarsons

Ivar, the baddest bitch in tow- I mean boneless

Ivar killing someone by pouring liquid gold in their mouth (hell of a way to go if you ask me)

Ivar walking upright on crutches for the first time

like that scene was so powerful, I got chills

also, his brothers’ faces literally said “oh shit” when they saw him and I loved it

casting Jordan Patrick Smith as Travis Fimmel’s son

Alfred looking to Ubbe for hairstyle advice

Rollo acting like his baptism didn’t mean shit although we all now know that was major fucking foREShaDowiNG

Björn deciding to leave with his mother (in your face, cheater!!!)

Lagertha just kicking (male) ass left and right throughout the whole show

also her kinda literally stabbing Aslaug in the back (finALLY!!)

Aslaug’s love for Ivar though... might’ve been her best trait

on the topic of motherly love: Judith killing Aethelred

THE blood eagle

Ivar killing Sigurd and then visually seeing it in his face when he realizes what he’s done

Alex Høgh Andersen is an international treasure

Björn taking the stereotypical young adult “i NeEd tO fINd MySElf” trip (usually you wouldn’t encounter bears or assassins, admittedly)

the makeup skills of whoever managed to make everyone’s skin look so weathered and worn in the later seasons especially

Ragnar pulling a ✨death prank✨ on all of Paris

Ivar’s iconic “you can’t kill me” moment

the Great Heathen Army™

Floki and Ivar (psychos unite!)

Björn really taking after his father with the “let’s ruin every good relationship I’ve ever had with a woman ever”

Hvitserk being haunted (surprisingly neat special effects, mad props)

Ivar adopting Igor

Ivar asking to leave the dinner table like a little kid when Prince Oleg decides to f*ck his dead wife’s lookalike on it (understandable though)

everyone agreeing that Lagertha’s funeral has to be the greatest one the world has ever seen

Björn and Ivar talking at the beach

Ingrid being like “well, my husband’s gone, let’s get another, oh now that one’s leaving, time to blind the sub and become queen”

the show ending with Floki and Ubbe sitting on the shore while the theme song softly plays in the background

bonus:

occasionally remembering that Ragnar and Lagertha just wanted to be fucking farmers

@thatsystemerror

the best things about - masterpost

#vikings #history vikings #björn ironside #vikings floki #vikings athelstan #ivar the boneless #ivar lothbrok #ubbe ragnarsson #hvitserk #vikings lagertha #vikings alfred #ragnar lothbrok #vikings ragnar #tbta #alex hogh andersen #travis fimmel #katherine winnick

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romiantic · 3 years

Text

𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐨𝐲𝐚

reading: black!fem!reader

genre: fluff

warning: language and mild violence

request: OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT- NAOYA GETS A BLACK S/O AND SHE FED UP WITH HIS SHIT AND JUST BEAT HIS ASS- I just wanna see this nigga get put in his place I want to bash his skull and send him to the black market cutely ☺️

a/n: YEAHHH RAM HIS ASS UP!!!! please I wanna beat this nigga ass so badly. I feel bad that maki and mai are related to this weirdo

Having this nigga child? One of the worst decisions you ever made

Like...out of everybody in the Zenin clan, him??

Personally, I believe this man would be a shitty baby father but a somewhat okay father (remember I said okay)

The only issue is that he would give his sons better treatment than his daughters and we all know it

Not nsfw but this man would constantly knock you up UNTIL you come out with a boy

You end with twin boys? Even better for him

BUT now you’re in a house filled with kids and you had to become a stay-at-home mom cause his ass don’t feel the need to take care of his kids except to train his sons to become one of the greatest jujutsu sorcerers

“Ma? MA!” Your first eldest daughter called out in front of you. You were currently passed out from yet again another night of your newborns crying in your ears. You mumbled and cursed out the white-haired man next to you, who was lightly hitting you and telling you to go shut them up.

You tried to open your eyes and pay attention to who was yelling but yet again, you fell back asleep. Your daughter sighed and shook you, “Momma! Momma, wake up I’m late for school!” You quickly opened your eyes as you heard those words fly out her mouth.

You shot up and looked at your daughter with such a surprised and worried look, “You’re lying, what time is it?!”

She took out her phone and showed you the time, 9:05 AM. You got up from the bed and paced around the room, cursing yourself and wondering where you went wrong. How did you oversleep that much? Usually you’re on time for school but this recurrence isn’t doing so well. You continued questioning until a question popped into your head. You turned to your daughter and raised a brow, “Hol’ on, does your dad know your late?”

She shook her head, ‘yes’, to answer your question.

“And why didn’t he fucking take you his damn self?” You snarled and started gritting your teeth, flying out small curses against the man. Your daughter half-raised her arms and answered, “He said he had to do early morning training with the boys.”

“Training? Training...training instead of education? This little bitch nigga put training over school?! Oh, imma beat his ass for real.” You thought to yourself.

“So instead of worrying about school, that his sons might up dumb as hell, or his daughter might get punished for all these tardies, he puts it off for fucking training?!” Your voice grew louder and louder as you balled up your fist so tight you felt veins popping and migraine starting to come.

But you took a breather and released your pent-up anger. Instead, you asked, “Where’s your father?”

Your daughter quickly answered, from the fear of your anger, “Outside right now, don’t know what he’s doing though.” She stepped back and shifted to the side as you stormed out of your shared bedroom. You continued on to curse the white-haired man as you walked all around the massive house and found him with your sons currently sitting down on the grass. He was showing them another cursed technique that he’ll think they can learn well.

To your advantage, it was good that he was sitting down, with his back turned and not facing you. Thankfully enough, your sons didn’t notice you either.

You quickly ran to him and kicked him in the head. Everyone was shocked by your sudden action and jumped back. You continued on to constantly kick him till he was ultimately down. It doesn’t matter if Naoya is a strong jujutsu sorcerer but he’s definitely not Satoru Gojo so you should be fine.

Once he was laid on the ground trying to protect himself from your kicks, you grabbed his frosted hair and used all your strength to drag the man to more open space. You let go of his hair with one hand and started punching his face with the other; including your foot kicking his back. Putting all your rage and anger into your punches, creating a blue flame surrounding it and your cursed technique activated. Through the heat of your first creating damage, you forgot that you can activate your curse technique through rage. An odd yet somewhat rare thing that happens since you’re not really into cursed techniques.

Your punches and kicks got harsh as your eyes start changing colors as well, from your usual normal color to deep, royal blue, matching up the emitted flames. You continued to cause damage to Naoya, not knowing he was spewing blood until your children pulled you back.

Your eldest son held you against the wall and tried to shake you off your rage. “Momma! Mom, calm down!”

“No cause this bitch ass nigga think imma sit here and take his jujutsu bullshit! Nigga fuck you, fuck yo family, fuck the Zenins, and fuck jujutsu! And I put that on my damn momma myself! ‘Cause of his stank, misogynistic ass, I gotta explain why my daughter has been tardy for the past two weeks. You know what? NO! He gonna explain his damn self.”

You snatched your body away from your son and stormed away, cursing Naoya as you went away to tend to your newborns.

“Is she done? What the fuck is your mom’s problem?” You heard Naoya asked your children.

You did nothing but throw the nearest slide at the back of his head, “You’re the fucking problem nigga!” Walking away to tend to the newborns, which he barely takes care of himself.

hope you liked these bestie 🥳 @noir-ethereal

was this lowkey anti naoya? eh kinda

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝐄𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝟔:𝟏𝟏 💗

#x black reader #🧸 ━━ 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘….#jjk x black!reader #jjk x black reader #jujutsu kaisen naoya #noaya zenin #naoya x black!reader #naoya x black reader #naoya zenin x black!reader #noaya zenin x black reader

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sery-chan-13 · 3 years

Text

[ Heathers ]

Niragi Suguru × Reader

It's mainly Niragi, but there's a lot going on, so for some background: You are a theater kid. But, you have to be intimidating in the games.

This is funny? But also kind of cringe😆

You hummed, walking towards your favorite room at the Beach after your patrol. It was late at night, and most people were sleeping, partying, or militants on patrol. No one else except Hatter really went there, so you assumed tonight would be no different.

You opened the side door softly, entering the room, and flicking on the lights. It echoed in the room, and you smiled. It was the last bit of normalcy left in your life.

A few days ago, Hatter had taken you here, and shown you the theater inside the hotel. It reminded you of when you were in your theater program back in high school, so you found yourself constantly going back.

"I wonder what I should do this time? Be More Chill? Hamilton? Dear Eva- Heathers!" You thought outloud, reading through sheet music. You smiled, remembering the musical, and laughed at the thought of when you guys did it back in high school. You had played Heather Duke, and honestly enjoyed it. Although, the girl who played Veronica was incredibly rude, and actually got sick the day before the performance. Karma, the greatest and baddest bitch of all.

You hummed to yourself, cleaning up the backstage area. It hadn't been in usage, so it was dusty, and it needed some cleaning. You picked up a broom, and began to sweep.

Niragi hadn't been planning on doing anything after his patrols. He thought he would just head back to his room. But something was urging him to head to the place he found. It was a theater area at the back of the Beach. It seemed no one else had found it, so he was pretty ecstatic about it. He didn't do theater, but he knew a few kids who did. They found it fun. All he liked doing was games. Although a couple kids had invited him to try it out once, as they caught him singing. Apparently, they thought he sounded good. Embarrassed, and not looking for anymore reasons for anyone to target him, he refused. The theater was quiet, far away from everyone. Soundproof. Although, he will never reveal how he found that out. Plus, the way he found out was gone now, so he didn't have to worry about anything.

When he walked in, he noticed the lights were on. 'I must've left the lights on last time,' he thought as he sat behind the second curtain that hid the backstage passage. He folded his knees up to his chest, kind of hard because of his long legs, but that was a him problem. He'd figure it out later.

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the wall. Although he never did theater, he did like a couple musicals. He knew about 3 all the way through. Other than that, if he had been a theater kid, he'd be a disappointing one. One musical he did like, however, was Heathers. The soundtrack was pretty nice, and he thought JD and Veronica's relationship was interesting. No one would hear if he just sang quietly. Even if he was singing loudly, the room was sound proof and no one knew about it, so what does it matter?

He questioned himself too much. Every thought, every move he made, he had to second guess it. But he was so tired, he just quietly sang a song to himself.

"I am damaged... far too damaged...

But you’re not beyond repair. Stick around here, make things better... ‘Cause you beat me fair and square. Please stand back now,"

"Little further. Don’t know what this thing will do. Hope you’ll miss me... Wish you’d kiss me... Then you’d know I worship you... I’ll trade my life for yours,"

"Oh my God -" you sang. He jumped, grabbing his gun. "It's me, (Y/N). Can I sit besides you? Can you keep singing? Please?" You asked. He was so shocked, all he did was nod. "Go on. Please," you said.

"And once I disappear,"

"Wait, hold on-"

"Clean up the mess down here,"

"Not this way!"

"Our love is God. Our love is God.Our love is God. Our love is God..."

"Say hi to God..."

"You're a theater kid?!" You shouted, shaking his shoulders. "No! No, I'm not!" He shouted, pushing you away. You crawled over to him. "How do you know the song?" You asked. "I just know it... gods your annoying," he muttered, crawling backwards and away from you. You grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. "I- I'm sorry... I shouldn't have scared you... Um... Niragi..." you apologized, still holding his hand. "What?" He spat. "Can you... can you sing more songs with me? Please?" You begged. "No way," he said, trying to pull away. "Please? I've never met someone else at the beach who's even shown interest in them. Pleaseee?" You repeated. He thought for a second. You weren't someone like Chishiya, and you were a milital. Someone he's had his eyes on for a while, actually. You were always so intimidating, but here you were excited over him knowing a song from a musical.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleaseee?"

"Goddammit woman, I said no. You are a stubborn ass bitch."

"Pwease? Pweaseeee!"

"No!"

"Dead Girl Walking. Full scene, from the top, every action. After that, if you need help I'll give it to you."

...

....

.....

"Deal."

You laughed, seeing as that's all he needed to be convinced. "So... all I have to do to get you to do something... is offer my body?" You questioned. "Only for you would I say yes...

"Awww, so you do like me~ Kuina was right!" You cooed, grabbing his hands.

He blushed, and you smiled. "Maybe one day.... you could be the JD to my Veronica, yeah?"

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #fluff #this is cute #but short #for now im proud of myself #:)

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eulaties · 4 years

Text

how i view each a:tla character

hoo boy this is a long one

sokka:

- highkey smartest guy on team avatar

- but with aang they're like the equivalent of the my two braincells meme

- boomerang, ponytail, and space sword guy

- comes up with the best nicknames and jokes

- best friends with aang

- his sexism literally saved the world

- but dw he drinks gallons of respect women juice a day now

- has the baddest gf suki who could kick his ass at any given moment

- wanted momo for a week (why??)

- sokka walked so eboys could run

- roasts zuko constantly

- officially known as mr wang fire

toph:

- baddest bitch don't mess with her

- small but will not hesitate to kill you

- I AM MELON LORD

- I emit a super sonic wave from my mouth in order to see

- AHHHHHHHHHHHH

- let toph say fuck

- secretly misses her parents

- her way of showing affection is beating you up

- "do you think friendships can transcend lifetimes?"

- literally so badass she invented a new form of bending

- the greatest earthbender alive

zuko:

- zuko, you're gonna get a kick out of this... YOUR HONOR WAS IN MY SLEEVE THIS WHOLE TIME

- undergoes the best character redemption arc of all time change my mind

- his scar is on the wrong side

- WHY AM I SO BAD AT BEING GOOD

- lowkey emo

- "im never happy"

- hes always happy around his goth gf mai tho

- got his life ruined by ozai, fuck him

- uncle iroh is now his dad, ozai who?

- bad at making jokes but he tries his best

- once his anger got stripped away he just became a socially awkward person

- awkward legend

- hello, z u k o here

- gets accepted into the gaang™ and gets a new family :)

- his friendship with aang is everything

- pretends to be annoyed by aang but secretly treasures their friendship

aang:

- powerful af and can literally take your bending away

- but honestly hed rather everyone be happy

- epitome of a cinnamon roll

- he deserves the world

- mentally strong af as well, i mean he had to cope with a GENOCIDE in the third episode

- "some friendships are so strong they can transcend lifetimes"

- unashamedly so in LOVE with katara

- gushes about her all the time

- peppy

- in touch with his ~feminine~ side

- his smiles and laughs are contagious

- so freaking friendly its impossible to hate him, i mean how could you

- hes so friendly he seems like hes flirting but hes not, thats just how he is

- has the best eyebrows

- friends with everyone

- showers appa and momo with the affection they deserve

- best friends with sokka

katara:

- the mom friend™

- absolutely WHIPPED for aang god she loves him so much

- everyone looks up to her. literally was the only thing keeping the group together at some points

- has a big af temper tho

- will cut a bitch

- when shes pissed off shes pissed OFF

- dont fucking hurt the people she loves or she will COME for you

- her power crawl is everything

- can literally bloodbend or heal you, your choice

- denies any relation to sokka whenever hes being stupid

- her outfit in the fire nation SLAPPED

- regularly schedules sleepovers with suki and toph (although she has to drag toph to the sleepover)

- what if we kissed? 😳 in the cave of oma and shu 👉👈 haha jk jk... unless

suki:

- sexism is no more

- takes down sokka's sexist ass easily

- strong af dont underestimate her

- sweetest gf tho

- loved the atrocious sand sculpture sokka made of her

- kidnapped a prison warden all by herself

- honestly underrated

- appa likes her

- singlehandedly saved sokkas and tophs lives

- in kyoshi we stan

iroh:

- the wisest character ever

- guides zuko into the right direction

- "i was just worried that you lost your way"

- zuko and irohs reunion made me SOB

- makes the best tea and owns a successful business, the jasmine dragon

- LEAVES FROM THE VINE FALLJNG SO SLOWLY

- IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING

- r.i.p mako 💔

ursa:

- went to get some milk 9 years ago and never came back

azula:

- the prodigy kid that all parents compare you to

- got groomed by ozai from an early age

- favorite child

- loves power and intimidating others

- top of the food chain

- can absolutely BREAK you with a snap of her fingers

- badass but not in a good way

- dont play beach volleyball with her she'll absolutely destroy your career

- wow, your outfit is so... sharp. careful, it could puncture the hull of an empire ship and leave hundreds of soldiers to drown at sea! because... its so sharp.

- mental health slipping after she gets betrayed by her two best friends

- got that quarantine bangs haircut

- honestly the last agni kai was really sad

- just wanted to be loved by ursa

- certified insane

ozai:

- ruined zuko's and azula's life

- career literally got ended by aang

- nothing else to say fuck this guy

ty lee:

- an absolute ray of sunshine

- her aura has never been pinker

- got the happy ending she deserved with the kyoshi warriors

mai:

- deadpan snark

- goth

- will cut a bitch from afar with her throwing knives

- you miscalculated

- I LOVE ZUKO MORE THAN I FEAR YOU

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mercuryislove · 2 years

Note

I ALSO want to have funny question friday so I tried to think up some interesting questions.

If Anwei and Ciaran had the opportunity to be regular humans again, would they take it? Would the people around them want them to?

I’m sure that the Sovereign has a lot of enemies since he’s like thee baddest bitch, but is there anyone that he just absolutely cannot stand?

What would happen if Robin, Wren, and Dove got stranded in a remote area together? How would they handle that situation together?

as usual you ALWAYS come through with the excellent questions :3c

If Anwei and Ciaran had the opportunity to be regular humans again, would they take it? Would the people around them want them to?

ABSOLUTELY they would. They're both really sick of it. Being undying has its perks but it really loses its luster after 900+ years. Anwei appreciates it more than Ciaran does, partly because she was sort of religious way back when and still thinks of it all as some Big Deal and a Gift and like. a Blessing or whatever and has a serious sense of Duty about the whole thing. And Ciaran is more like “so I can jump off this cliff and be fine? I guess that's cool” and also “so does this mean I can't get stis anymore?” He definitely didn't ask for this life lol (technically I guess neither did Anwei but she adjusted it to it a little better and is also the only reason that [redacted for spoilers] anyway) Either way, they're both tired of outliving every single person they ever know because even with the fun parts of never dying, it DOES get miserable watching every person you ever care about wither away in what feels like the blink of an eye.

I think the only person that would have any apprehension about them mortalizing themselves would be like. Go-Eun but only because she would be too worried that they would instantly get something like the flu and DIE. Yixing would be like “please for the love of god be normal again because I already have so many years on you and I'm so so so so afraid of getting old alone PLEASE don't leave me behind”

----------

I’m sure that the Sovereign has a lot of enemies since he’s like thee baddest bitch, but is there anyone that he just absolutely cannot stand?

It's true that he's the baddest bitch around and a ton of people hate his stupid sexy guts, but honestly he doesn't pay enough attention to anyone else to give a damn about what they think. He knows he'll outlive them anyway. BUT he does hold special hatred for people that try to double-cross him, question his authority, and/or fuck with his family. (technically Andhira meets all three criteria oops lol) Generally speaking, he just offs people that piss him off, but there are a few that are too important or risky to kill outright, so he has too seethe in silence for a few centuries until they end up killing each other in petty squabbles and he gets to watch from his high horse like “oh look how these low born fools destroy each other over and over while nobody ever lays a finger on me and my own” (this WILL eventually come back to bite him on the ass lol). The biggest thorns in his side are the twelve children of Ekion who are part of the third oldest family in the world (though these guys weren't technically BORN into their family the way the Sovereign's children were). He's been waiting for the opportunity to fuck their shit right up for like 600 years at this point and is getting so tired of waiting :c

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What would happen if Robin, Wren, and Dove got stranded in a remote area together? How would they handle that situation together?

UM it would depend on just how remote the area is lol If they were like. lost in the woods, it would be no big deal because Robin is notorious for disappearing for three weeks at a time to go on solo backpacking trips in the middle of nowhere, and people always assume he's been eaten by bears and he shows up stinky and hairy on instagram in the middle of Wyoming like “hi everyone I just had the greatest camping trip of my life!!” So he's good at handling the fallout of getting extremely lost. Also his family lived in a VAN until he was eleven, so he's used to shit breaking down and getting stranded places (aka campsites in the middle of nowhere). Dove would immediately have a breakdown and if Wren had a cellphone signal, she would be taking pictures and texting them to her parents through the whole ordeal like “are you sure she's really related to us? She doesn't know the difference between east and west.” And then the two of them would end up fighting like cats and dogs. Meanwhile Robin has already fixed the car and/or foraged for clean water and fucking. berries or whatever and/or built a fire and shelter. This is just a regular Wednesday afternoon for him when you're the kind of person that goes WAY off trail to find so-called mythical crags (that don't actually exist but some old stoner dude at the campsite swore they did).

HOWEVER. If they were in a plane crash on a desert island situation, they would probably just go berserk and end up killing each other in looney tune style traps. Imagine that as you will lol

#oc talk #once again im asking you to pretend that i answered these on friday night #IF the old blood was a video game there would be a boss rush where you kill the twelve children of ekion for sure #except in the actual book plot there are always twelve children (like when one gets killed a new one takes their place) so it would be like #an infinite boss rush i guess lol #also i think its very funny that ciaran and anwei are both so bored of living forever when it's only been 900ish years #the sovereign is out here 4000+ and still loving it lol #i guess when you live through the end of the world you might be jaded by it all

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friendlybatteringram · 3 years

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Wassup bitches watch me be Homestuck on main:

I was thinking about Hussie’s writing style, and it occurred to me; you know how a lot of people here complain about TV writers trying really hard to come up with plot twists that “subvert expectations” but ultimately end up defeating the point of the whole narrative?

Well, I think that one of Hussie’s greatest writing strengths (pre-retcon, at least) is his ability to pull off a completely expectation-subverting plot twist...while STILL adhering to the theme and structure of his story. No, really. he’s good at that. I’ll explain.

As an example I’ll use the Act 5 mystery of “who’s hunting down the trolls?” Most readers would immediately assume it’s Lord English, since the trolls’ antagonist is described as an indestructible demon, the very same description that English himself was given not too much earlier.

So we continue reading under the assumption that this mysterious English demon is hunting down the trolls in their beta session. But then we get to [S] Jade: Enter, and nope, the demon is an alt-universe!mobster with a doggy face. The very same one terrorizing the human kids in THEIR session.

This pulls the rug from underneath us, yes, but it also reinforces a few key ideas that are already driving the story. One idea is that time in the Homestuck universe is incredibly nonlinear and labyrinthine, and that anything could be the cause of anything else, regardless of relative chronology. Hence the infamous phrase, “He is already here.” It’s primarily Lord English’s tagline, but it obviously applies to other figures as well.

From the human kids’ perspective, Jack is still in their session, tearing everything apart, so how could he already be in the trolls’ session too? The answer is, of course, because time has little control over the course of events anymore. Jack is already there. He already inspired Vriska to engineer his rise to power in the first place. Everything that’s wrong with both sessions has already been instantiated as part of the ultimate sequence of events, and all the heroes can do is go with the flow and solve the puzzle on the game’s terms. Jack being the demon may have been a significant twist, but it ultimately makes sense because he was already there.

Also, by revealing that Jack is the demon antagonizing the trolls, another key idea is introduced that perfectly fits within the narrative of such a cosmically-scaled epic. If the incomprehensively powerful and indestructible demon is none other than Jack, then that means that Lord English is even worse.

Doc Scratch described Noir as a loose cannon, and Karkat identified him as a metaphysical cancer. He is an unstoppable force of destruction that annihilates everything he sees. Obviously that makes him pretty darn bad. Buuut not the baddest. Not by miles.

No, the true BIG bad of Homestuck, a story which involves mind-bending riddles of relevance and interlocking coils of causality, would do more than that. He wouldn’t just destroy. He’d take over everything, achieve absolute dominion over the galaxies themselves, rig the timestream so that it invariably leads to his rise to power in the first place, and then destroy everything just because he can. THAT is the nature of Lord English, one of the most dangerous, diabolical antagonists in recent fiction.

And THAT is why it was important that Jack be established as a slightly lesser force of evil beforehand. Because simply introducing English as the main villain right off the bat would be very jarring to say the least. The mere shape and scope of his power is a lot to take in. But after first being exposed to Jack, a simpler-yet-still-ultra-powerful villain, we are more primed for English’s true introduction...hundreds of pages later.

I could bring up a whole bunch of other examples of fitting plot twists, but this post is getting long enough. And I’m getting tired of flexing my analysis muscle. Point is, for all the crap that Homestuck gets, its creator is really quite brilliant at writing.

#homestuck #andrew hussie #lord english #jack noir #bec noir #analysis #rant #long post

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diaryofabeautyfiend · 3 years

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This chapter contains canon typical violence, smut, mentions of blood, major character death.

Small Time Witch (31)

It had been three days and you hadn’t heard from Loki. The little screwdriver around your neck was barely warm. His heart rate was erratic and sometimes barely existent. You were beginning to think Odin was right. You sat alone on the field where Loki would lead Thanos. You sat waiting for him every day.

The field was filled with wild flowers. You picked a few and braided them into a crown. It was warm and the sun kissed your skin making it glow. When this was all over you would re sod this field. The people of Vanaheim deserved to have nice spaces. While you were deep in thought you didn’t notice the presence until she was sitting next to you. She was always with you in some capacity. Always whispering in your ear. Begging you to follow her. These last few days her voice has been louder than anyone else.

“Took you long enough to show your face.” You didn’t look over. You knew what Death looked like.

“You’ve been waiting for me?”

“What’s to wait for? You’re always with me. Have been for the last ten years. Longest relationship I’ve had.”

She laughed, “I made you what you are. Shaped you into the person you’ve become. I’m here to see my creation’s first steps.”

You sat quietly enjoying the breeze together. You set the crown on her head. She smiled for a moment then the followers wilted. She frowned and plucked off the crown and set it in her lap. You hovered your hand over it springing it back to life.

“Is this what you envisioned when you fucked with my life? Did you put me here so that I could fight your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Semantics. You love him.”

“I do. I’ll take him with me today.”

“You’ll take him in pieces.”

“So violent. Unbecoming of a princess.”

“I’m not a princess.”

“Semantics.” She smiled showing you all of her perfectly polished teeth.

“Is Loki alive?”

“Barely. Thanos will bring him alive to the battle. Don’t let him get in your head. He knows you’ll be moved to save Loki. You have a job to do.”

“And when I do it, what side of the battlefield will you be on?”

“The winning side. Get some rest, my sweet. Tomorrow is going to be a son of a bitch.” She winked at you and disappeared. You knew what you had to do. When the time came you would be ready.

——————————————————————

The eve of battle. Everyone was antsy. You could practically smell the adrenaline. It’s thick fog choked you when you walked into a room full of people. You made some modifications to your plans which involved magic you could barely do, The Ancient One, Auntie Agatha and Wanda. You had to get Loki away from Thanos as soon as they land. You had to strike fast and hard. They were prepared.

You sat alone at a table ignoring the merriment. You almost didn’t notice your coven and Wanda filing in. They held hands and your mother and Helene rested their hands on your shoulders. Frigga stood behind you making you the center of the circle. They invoked Hecate and Diana to be by your side. “May your magic be strong and your resolve stronger.” Helene chanted.

“And may Thanos know who is the baddest witch in every known universe.” Agatha chimed in.

“Blessed be!” they all cheered.

“Ladies, tomorrow, please aid in evacuating the outlying villages. I don’t want innocent lives lost. Lana, Constance, Margot and Flora, you will stay behind with several of the light elves to keep the palace grounds protected.”

“Why does the new girl get to go to the battle grounds with you?” Constance whined. Mobius was right. It should have been her.

Before you could answer Agatha chimed in, “When you have magic as powerful as Wanda you can fight the aliens. Keep practicing, sweetheart.” You almost spit out your wine you were laughing so hard.

The little screwdriver felt hot against your chest. You could feel Loki. “SHIT! They are almost here!” You stood on the table and shouted, “Shut up! Everyone shut the fuck up! They’re early! Get to your assignments now!”

Hilde fitted you with with armor and you all raced to your positions. Those who were going to Asgard got to the field and called for Heimdall. You kept your eyes trained on Steve and whispered a silent prayer that he’d be safe.

You and Helene lit up the field as much as you could with energy balls. Around the perimeter the Vanir set torches ablaze. Freyr joined you and the ladies to concentrate your strongest magic on Thanos to incapacitate him early. Hilde, Thor and Ororo were on guard as well.

Thanos’ ships landed spraying earth all along the front lines. Frost giants snarled and banged their shields. Thanos stepped off of his ship holding Loki over his shoulder like a rag doll. Just as predicted, Cull Obsidian and Proxima Midnight did not exit the ship with them. You called for Heimdall to show you. They landed there. Danvers added that the Nova Corps and the Sovereign reported Thanos’ troops on Xandar. He was punishing anyone who helped you. Tony said a ship landed outside of DC. Shield , Rhodey and the rest of the X-men were handling business there. You prepared for this and ensured that armies were ready in all the nine realms. No one was safe from this disease.

While Thanos walked down the ramp of his ship, his troops and yours held stock still and aching to fight. Your own plan was clear. Get Loki, kill Thanos, make sure Tony dies, snap the rest out of existence. You could not be shaken.

Thanos picked up Loki by the scruff of his neck. Agatha kept a hand on you. “Stay with us. No stupid mistakes.” she whispered to you. Of course, because he’s an arrogant prick, he made a speech.

“Look at you, hiding behind your wife’s skirt. Your weakness is disgusting. How easy it was to sway you to my side. You are a failure.”

“I am a god” he croaked “and my wife is going to rip you apart.”

“Now!” You shouted and sent a beam of energy straight at Thanos. You had him on his knees. Pietro swooped in and grabbed Loki. He took him to Frigga and Njord then rejoined the fight.

Thanos screamed as his armor split and his weapon clanged on the ground. “Go, you idiots!” His troops mobilized and so did yours.

Just as you planned, the barrier went up when he called for airstrikes. The firepower from the guns could not penetrate effectively protecting your troops. Unfortunately also Thanos’ troops. Danvers and Valkyrie incapacitated the ships right away. The Ebony Maw had Tony in his grasp. Tony wouldn’t be able to fight him off. One of the Maw’s spikes penetrated the Arc Reactor. You heard Thor screaming for him. Hulk rushed to him and tried shaking him awake. He was gone.

You almost lost it hearing your friends scream for Tony through your comms. This time you didn’t shut them off. You deserved to hear it. Out of nowhere, an additional beam of magic hit Thanos. It was brilliant green and strong.

“Miss me, Pet?” Loki shouted looking strong. Frigga Njord and Maja worked fast to heal him.

“We’ve got him! Go!” You screamed to everyone else. You stopped using your magic and let the stones take over. Your whole body glowed and your eyes went white. You grabbed Loki’s hand and intensified his magic. Thanos was in complete agony. While Loki weighed him down with chains that sprouted from the ground, you rested your boot on his chest. He couldn’t breathe.

“This is over.” You snapped and his ships and all of his troops started to disintegrate. You got confirmation that they were going down everywhere. You knelt down next to him and got up close to his ear, “I hope you rot and I hope it hurts.”

Thor came behind you with Mjølnir resting on his shoulder, “Go for the head, Brother.” With one swing he delivered the fatal blow. His blood sprayed your face and body. You didn’t move until his heart stopped.

Death rested her hand on your shoulder, “I’m impressed.” Her voice was amused but you could see she was shaken seeing Thanos in this state.

“I knew you would be.” Just for good measure, you electrocuted his body until it turned to ash. You swept it all up in a little wind and dumped it into a box that you sent deep within Vanaheim’s core.

Death smiled again, “You don’t trust me to hang on to him?”

You chuckled, “I jumped time and almost died taking in these stones to save my man. No telling what you’d do.”

“Smart girl. I taught you well.” The two of you embraced and she shimmered away.

Everyone in your general vicinity was staring at you. You could hear a pin drop.

“What? We’re old friends.”

“Like in Harry Potter!” Lana shouted excitedly. You nearly fell over laughing.

——————————————————————

All in all you had very few casualties. The armies of the Nine were virtually unscathed. Your greatest loss, of course, was Tony. The crew from Asgard rejoined you. You gave them space to mourn privately. With Wong’s help, you expelled the Time Stone and gave it back to The Ancient One. They opened up portals for all Midgardians to return home. You said your goodbyes to all of your family and friends as they left. Your mother made you promise you’d be along to visit soon. You reminded Agatha you still had the Kale’s to deal with. You’d be home soon enough.

You made your way over to the Avengers to extend your condolences. You fashioned a vessel for his body to arrive safely back on Earth. They all shook your hand as they filed out. All except Steve who drew you in for a hug. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Captain. He fought valiantly.”

“Thank you, Princess. We know going into any battle there could be losses. He’s not the first friend I’ve had to say goodbye to.” That broke your heart especially knowing Bucky was alive.

“Does he have a family?”

“A girlfriend. His parents are deceased.”

“I’m so sorry again. Please, never hesitate to call on me should you need my help.”

“Thank you.” He followed Tony’s body through the portal.

Loki eyed you suspiciously. “Save it. I’ll tell you later” you groaned as you stretched.

“You are a dazzling liar, my little queen.”

“Oh, king of my heart, you have no idea.”

You went to the great hall with the intention of going to bed soon after. But, doing battle works up an aggressive appetite. You ate and drank until you were about to bust and then you drank some more. You were laid out on the table while Thor regaled everyone with tales from the battlefield. You nearly made it out when he suggested body shots. You and Loki declined but we’re far too entertained to leave the party. Hilde turned to you and smiled. You knew that smile. She just couldn’t leave well enough alone.

“Just one.” She jingled the shot glass in front of your face. You couldn’t resist her.

“One! Hilde, just one.” You took her hand which she pulled away. “Well where do you want it?” She unbuttoned the top two of her shirt. There were hoops and hollers a plenty. You shook your head and didn’t dare make eye contact with your husband. You sprinkled the salt in her cleavage, licked slowly, did the shot and went for the citrus wedge. She spit it out and kissed you. Loki’s annoyance grew almost to the point of anger. You pulled away with her cackling like a crazy person.

“Is that the face other me wanted?!”

“You are going to get me in so much trouble.”

“I certainly hope so.” She winked at you and went back to your friends.

Loki stood from the table and made his way to you, “If you are quite finished, I would like to take you to bed, wife.”

“I am so ready, husband.” He picked you up and slung you over his shoulder. You yelped when he smacked your bottom.

He was undressing you before you even got to the door. He pushed you against the wall just outside the great hall and slipped his hands into your waistband. “Mmmm. So wet for me, darling.”

“All for you, my king.” He was so hard straining against leather. It was nearly painful. You were falling apart in his hands. “If you keep doing that I’m going to cum.” You were breathless. Chest heaving out sharp pants.

“I want you to. I want everyone to know how I make you feel. You are mine and I want the world to know it.”

You cried his name over and over again when you met your release. He set you down smothering you with his lips. “Take me to bed or I’m going to pull out your cock right here.”

“Ha promises promises.” he says against your lips. You trail your hand down to his pants and undo the buttons. When you pulled him closer he winced in pain. You took your hand away and lifted his shirt to see he was still bruised and bleeding from a wound on his side.

“Lok..” the higher you lifted his shirt the more damage you saw. “Oh. Loki...”

“It doesn’t hurt” he whispered trying to pull you back in for a kiss.

“Stop, Loki. Come on. Let me get you to bed.” He followed you into the bedroom and you started undressing him. “No more illusions.”

“Lie down, Pet. I’m going to fuck you silly.” He lifted off his shirt and you burst into tears. “Please don’t cry. You said no more illusions. Y/N, I’m dying to be inside of you. I will go slow. I just need to feel you wrapped around me.”

“God. I can’t believe you, Loki! You could have killed yourself. Look at you! You’re still bleeding. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“My love, I will only be hurting if I don’t get to fuck you. Please. Don’t make me beg.” You needed him too. For the next few hours you lost yourselves. There was no more pain. No more degradation. No more expectations. Just the two of you.

#loki of jotunheim #loki tv #loki of asgard #loki x you #loki fanfic #loki x reader #loki odinson #loki #loki (marvel)#witch #mcu witches #small time witch #marvel witches

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babyybitchhh · 4 years

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Thotty Thursday: Part 2

The second installment of Thotty Thursday is upon us. Rejoice, heathens!

Now, let me just say that I’m picking dudes at random while trying to keep things balanced between old shows and new ones but ... y’all really bout to notice some patterns the more we do this so I’m just gonna wait for someone to call me out tbh. 😰

FYI, I like to think of myself as an equal opportunist thirster and if a dude is hot then he’s hot. I’m not one to question this shit. But when you get right down to it I have like four types: high IQ smarty pants, dummy thicc, dad and bad boy bastard. Our next snack belongs in the last category, without question.

He’s honestly prettier than me and that is not an exaggeration but don’t let his good looks fool you

This Arabian Nights styled dime piece has a mean streak a mile wide. Because of Reasons, ofc, but that don’t change the facts

Not only did he once punch a child in the face for no other reason than to assert his dominance (fact) he also pretended to cry in front of the person he hates most just to laugh about how they fell for his (flawlessly executed) act

He honestly may or may not have a few screws loose but that’s part of the appeal, you see. It adds a dash of spice to the meal

And you know what they say about crazy bitches in bed 😏

Full disclosure, I started reading Magi: Labyrinth of Magic before the anime aired and his name was originally translated as Judal so that’s what he’s always going to be in my mind. The official translation is Judar, and I respect that, but at the end of the day I do not know her

Judar who?

Can I also just take a moment to point out that gloriously long, thick braid he’s sporting tho

This man has hair for days and there’s just something I find incredibly attractive about that

I want to take it all down and carefully comb through it, play with it and style it again

Really show him the attention he deserves

If he decided to suffocate me with it, well, I guess I wouldn’t complain about that either

Now, the setting alone had my interest PIQUED right out the gate because I love Middle Eastern inspired aesthetics and I truly don’t think it’s utilized as a setting half as much as it deserves to be. It’s very beautiful imo and the anime team did a pretty good job of capturing that vibe but if I’m being honest I think the manga was better (up to a point)

However there ain’t nothing quite like seeing your man move on screen or hearing his voice with your own two ears and when I say Judal put on a show each time he showed up ... 🥵

I think I can safely say my pussy clenched whenever I got so much as a whiff of him possibly making an appearance, PHEW

He’s just so pretty and mean

My favorite combo tbh

“But why do you like mean boys so much 🤔?” You ponder aloud and my answer to that is “I don’t know. I just do.”

Judal gets my kitty purring for a variety of reasons but the biggest is probably that I can’t look at him without imagining myself as his feisty little slave girl, wearing nothing but sheer silk and delicate gold chains, completely at his mercy ...

Oops, did I say that out loud? 😳

I mean, can you really blame me when he’s running around in those baggy harem pants though?? Can you really???

So the first thing you probably thought was: damn. This guy kinda dressed like a thot 👀

And you’re not wrong

Does he HAVE to dress like that? Strictly speaking, no. But I am definitely not complaining about his fashion choices

His titties are so close to popping out of that tiny little shirt that we’d be getting nip slips left, right and center if he had any more meat on his bones than that and trust me when I say he did that shit on purpose

This boy is SUCH a fucking tease and he loves the attention it gets him - first and foremost because he’s used to being the CENTER of attention but we’ll get more into that a little bit later

Hes just a tad 👌 narcissistic, loves to show off, definitely bipolar and is in a constant state of feeling himself so he’s hitting all his marks as far as I’m concerned

In short, he’s perpetually oozing big dick fuck boy energy and I live for it

That’s why he’s always showing up with that stank ass attitude, he knows damn well he can pull the baddest bitch around AND her man too

He’d fuck you and your boyfriend at the same time just to prove a point, that’s actually how petty he is

Honestly though I’d like to see ANYbody maintain their resolve when he’s laying on the charm and Judal’s just cruel enough to do it for shits and giggles

Probably wakes up in the middle of his sprawling imperial bed at two in the afternoon and says something like “damn, I need a little pick me up today” and then proceeds to manipulate and harass his lucky unfortunate victim of choice

He’s relentless too and will stop at absolutely nothing to get what he wants, even if that means breaking you in the process

Again, I like the challenge he represents

But also I just like a man who can make me cry 🤷‍♀️

And I don’t doubt he absolutely would. Tears probably turn him on tbh and I’m positive he’s got a bit of a yandere streak too

Are y’all seeing those patterns yet??

So did you guys notice that wand he keeps twirling around like a goddamn baton?

He’s a magic user, or in this case a magi which means he’s literally at the top of the food chain in this universe

He’s special special

Every ounce of confidence he has is rightfully deserved and even tho he’s not the strongest per say, he IS extremely powerful and his destiny as a magi is to influence the world

THE WHOLE ASS WORLD YA’LL

That’s why he’s got such a big fucking ego

I promise these aren’t major spoilers, so you don’t have to worry about that

When he was still a (too precious for words) child, he was abducted by an evil cult so that they could manipulate him and use his powers to influence shit in a bad way. The exact details of what they did to him are hazy, but based on the snippets we did get it seems like they basically put Judal on a pedestal and raised him as if he were some kind of god or a king

I’m talking waiting on him hand and foot, giving him whatever he wanted, essentially worshiping him and using persuasive mind control magic to convince him that he’s the best thing to happen since sliced bread

And it worked

Can you tell exactly how fucked up this kid is right now

Keep in mind here that I’m not saying his screwed up personality isn’t the result of some seriously bad mojo

Magi are supposed to be what tips the scales of fate in this setting which, generally, means for the betterment of the world and this whack ass cult pointedly steered him down a path he otherwise would not have gone

But it’s this tragic past of his that really brings the whole package together

He could be a mean pretty boy for no other reason than because he wants to and I’d still drop into a split on his cock

I like mean for the sake of mean too

It’s just that knowing what made him the way he is gives us the perfect amount of insight to truly feel sympathetic despite all the bad shit he has done and will continue to do

Personally, it makes me want to be the one to show him genuine, tender affection no matter how much he’s initially appalled by the mere suggestion so in a lot of ways it’s similar to how I feel towards Hiei

But that doesn’t mean I want him to change and start being n - 🤢 start being nice - 🤮

He’s perfect just the way he is and there’s just something about big, confident egos that gets me going like little else

And Judal seems to truly believe he’s the greatest gift the world has ever received and he’s not wrong about that imo so yeah he definitely has an attitude problem

But that also means he’s a spoiled brat tho and he’s definitely one of those dudes who needs to be dommed on occasion to really get the full experience 👀

I am not too shy to pin him down and milk his cock for all it’s worth, that is all I’m saying fam

And can I just point out how breathtakingly gorgeous he’d look all flushed and sweaty, whimpering like a needy little bitch in heat while having his prostate relentlessly teased for hours on end?

Goodness, it suddenly got HOT in here, is that just me??? 💦

Ofc the only way that’s gonna happen is if he allows it - which I don’t see being a common occurrence - but that’s why you gotta take advantage of that shit when it does 👀

On the topic of Judal being spoiled, I want to mention that there are actually TWO very different backdrops that I can thot around with him in, and I like that

There’s the fantasy Middle East setting ofc which I personally can’t get enough of

I’m wearing the slave girl Leiah outfit in my mind right now btw

But he also spends a lot of time in this worlds version of ancient China complete with all the dramatic robes and elegant architecture to really set the mood

He has an entire imperial palace on lock and if that doesn’t get you even a little bit horny then idk what to tell you

The royal family for the most part treats him like one of their own despite not being related in any way, if that tells you exactly how much clout he pulls in this setting, and even tho they’re essentially using him for their own gain Judal doesn’t seem to mind it one bit

He likes being at the top and having the freedom to do whatever he wants so if that means doing a little dirty work for the Kou Empire then so be it

And I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be a ride or die on these little errands

Like, just imagine this pretty boy pulling up to you on his flying carpet (that’s not a joke or something I just pulled out of my ass btw) and asking if you want to come back to his crib for some fun

You say yes, because you might be a thirsty slut but you’re certainly not STUPID

And he straight up takes you to a fucking palace

Be honest with me guys, how fast do the panties come off tho?

Be real with me here

This is actually just the plot of Aladdin but with the gender roles reversed 🤣

Fr fr though, A Whole New World plays softly in the back of my mind every time I think about this dude, except it’s much darker and ... explicit 😏

But my point here is that Judal’s got basically everything he could ever possibly want so he really just needs a pretty little concubine at his side to complete the picture

And I dead ass feel like it should be ME

When I say this man could get it ....

OOF

He is TROUBLE in its purest form and I regret nothing about my choice in fictional men

Absolutely nothing

He could honestly fuck me up seven ways to Sunday and I’d thank him for the honor

Spit on me, king. Please. I don’t need nothing else to sustain me

Unless you want to throw some of that choice dick in for free? 👀

Lord have MERCY

#thotty thursday #judal #judal magi #magi labyrinth of magic

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Michael in the Mainstream: Artemis Fowl

Since the early 2000s, Artemis Fowl has been languishing in development hell, and it really is a mystery as to why. The series has everything you could possibly want for a blockbuster young adult franchise: it’s a charming blend of science and fantasy with rich worldbuilding and mythology, it has enjoyable and even complex characters who go through great character arcs over the course of the series, it has an enjoyable major antagonist, an insufferable smug villain protagonist who goes through a stellar redemption arc over the course of the series, and tons of crazy heists that combine scheming and fairy magic. There was no reason this couldn’t have existed as a competitor to the Harry Potter series, but alas, it was not to be. The young adult fantasy franchise languished for decades in development hell, until finally Disney pulled it out and put Kenneth Branagh at the helm. Finally, we were going to get the Artemis Fowl adaptation we deserved!

Except we didn’t.

Artemis Fowl is legitimately one of the worst adaptations of any work of fiction ever. It has been held up alongside The Last Airbender and The Lightning Thief as part of the Unholy Trinity of terrible adaptations, and I’m not even going to try and pretend that this “Honor” isn’t well and truly earned. This film is an utterly abominable bastardization of the beloved franchise, to the point where this feels like an entirely different story that had familiar names slapped on it at the last second. If you want to know what horrific extents this film has butchered the story and characters, read onward, but there’s no way I’m going to pretend this film isn’t awful right off the bat.

There is literally nothing in this film that works. Nothing at all. Starting from the opening scene, the establishing shots, you can tell things are wrong – there are news people around Fowl Manor? Mulch is being interrogated? What is going on? The film from the word go is simply making one thing absolutely and abundantly clear: this is not the Artemis Fowl you know. The film goes out of its way to do the opposite of the franchise, merely using names and vague concepts in an attempt to sucker fans into watching it. Butler’s first name, an emotional reveal from the third book, is common knowledge; Opal Koboi, a cunning and threatening major villain who was the antagonist for almost every novel starting with the second, is here reduced to basically a personification of the voice on the phone from Scream; Root, once a short-tempered man who was hard on Holly as a method of tough love to push her to be the very best LEP had to offer to prove women belonged on the force, is here a woman who, while just as angry as ever, robs Holly of a major part of her arc and reduces her to plucky female sidekick. And even outside of that, as its own thing, the movie is just utterly incomprehensible. The story is rushed and confusing, with lots of exposition and action but with no context or cohesion. Things happen and things go from scene to scene, but none of it makes any sort of sense. A character will switch allegiances within a few minutes, characters will somehow find a way to survive deadly attacks offscreen… the worst offender is a character death they try to push off as emotional, despite there being no reason to care for this character, and when all hope seems lost, a deus ex machina saves the day! My wife, who is unfamiliar with the series, and I, a huge fan, both struggled to figure out what was going on at any given point; the movie is really that bad at communicating what is happening, which is even more baffling because the film is a pathetic hour and a half in length, a distressingly short amount of time to establish a new science-fantasy franchise of this scale.

The characters are almost all terrible. Artemis is the standout with how awful he is; no longer the cunning criminal masterminds of the book, Artemis here is more of a somewhat smug little brat who is overly emotional and, worst of all, NICE. He’s so nice in fact that by the end of the film he has managed to speedrun his character development and arcs with Mulch and Holly, who consider him their close friend and ally. Butler is pretty bad here as well, mostly because he is given almost nothing to do and is seemingly only there because he was in the book. In fact, his crowning moment – when he took on the troll – is instead given to Artemis and even Holly, with Butler ending up severely injured. It’s a bit nasty that they changed Butler to be black and then had his (white) master steal his greatest moment; it’s giving me flashbacks to Kazaam. Opal is hit pretty bad as well; being made the big bad of this loose adaptation of the first book’s plot – which is amusingly one of the few books she had absolutely no role in – wouldn’t be so rough if she was more of a presence and not just some vague, hooded figure who threatens Artemis over the phone and generally does nothing to warrant being an adaptation of the baddest bitch in the series. She’s rather ineffectual and they even try and give her a sort of sympathetic motivation, one where she resents humans for pushing her kind underground. It really is a disgusting waste of a character who could easily rival heavy hitters like Voldemort in the awesome and theatrically evil department.

Holly is almost okay, but her entire arc and a big chunk of her narrative purpose is robbed by making Commander Root a woman. Root, played by Judi Dench, is honestly one of the better characters since Dench has Root dropping lines like “Top o’ the morning to ya” with gravelly deadpan seriousness which makes the character unintentionally hilarious, but the cheap laughs don’t really make up for butchering the story of one of fiction’s finest ladies. As a side note, they have made Holly 100% white despite her skin being described as nut brown rather frequently in the book, and the now white Holly together with Artemis steal away Butler’s biggest moment. And that’s not even getting into how they neutered Juliet, who has also been race lifted but was turned into a child who barely appeared in the film. I’m not usually one to toss about racism accusations, but there’s a lot of red flags here that Branagh’s usual colorblind casting just doesn’t excuse.

The most consistently enjoyable performance is Josh Gad’s as Mulch. From the moment he was cast, I knew he’d do a good job and capture the spirit of the character, and he does! ...sort of. The decision to have Mulch be a giant dwarf and narrate the story in a crappy Batman impression while also violating literally the most important law of fairy culture (don’t tell the humans anything about us) by spilling the beans to M16 is unbearably stupid, and a lot of his jokes are just relentlessly unfunny. But I think that Gad does leak a bit of that Mulch charm at a few points, and it’s apparent he at least somewhat gets his character, which is not something that can be said for anyone else in this film. Sadly, much like his standout performance as Lefou in the live action Beauty and the Beast, he can’t possibly save the trainwreck of a film he’s in.

I guess I’m not entirely surprised by this film. I mean, a lot of quality young adult literature from the past two decades has been horrifically mangled in the wake of Harry Potter – Inkheart, The Golden Compass, The Lightning Thief, Ender’s Game, and Eragon – so this movie really isn’t an anomaly. But it is the culmination of a horrible trend. This is the zenith of horrible young adult adaptations, or perhaps I should say the nadir of adaptations as a whole? For all the flak I could give those other adaptations, on some fundamental level they still understood something about the source material. Ender’s Game still understood it could not erase the ending where children are revealed to be being conscripted to perform the ethnic cleansing of an alien race. Eragon couldn’t completely ruin Saphira, try as it might. The Lightning Thief… well, I mean, I guess the Medusa scene was mostly faithful. But Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl goes out of its way to be the opposite of its literary counterpart that there is no way to justify even saying it is based on the book by Eoin Colfer; it would be like having a movie about kids hanging out at the mall and doing mundane stuff, except they’re all named Jesus and Peter and Paul and then saying it’s based on the Bible. Just using names doesn’t mean anything, you actually have to use the themes and characterizations too, and this movie does none of that.

This movie is most comparable to The Emoji Movie. Neither of these works really deserve to be called a “Film” since they are basically whatever it is they’re trying so desperately to be stripped down to the bare essentials. The Emoji Movie is the most basic, by-the-numbers animated adventure film with a “be yourself” message you could ever hope to see, with a story so absolutely basic that just watching the trailer will allow you to predict the every motion of the plot. Artemis Fowl on the other hand is the most cliche-ridden fantasy epic franchise-starter you could imagine, and that’s if you’re able to penetrate the ridiculously dense and cluttered story and are able to make sense of what’s going on. I can think of absolutely no one this film could ever appeal to. There’s not a single redeeming thing about it. The movie is flashy, trashy junk that should never have been released, and Disney honestly did the right thing by releasing this on their streaming service because it would be outright disgusting to charge movie ticket prices for this tripe. The fact Disney has more faith in the eternally-delayed New Mutants theatrically speaks volumes about the quality of this film.

I can’t in good conscious say that this is the worst film of all time. F4ntastic is probably a much worse butchering of characters than this film; Disaster Movie is much more horrendously offensive and unfunny than this; hell, Chicken Little is probably a worse Disney movie because as awful as everyone in this film is, at least they aren’t Buck Cluck! But I don’t think there’s a single movie I hate more than this one. Lucy can finally move over and sleep easy knowing that the fact it’s not based on a pre-existing work has finally saved it from the #1 spot on my worst list; Artemis Fowl is now the reigning champ. Kenneth Branagh should be ashamed of himself for making and releasing this (and doubly ashamed for having the gall to unironically compare his slaughtering of Artemis Fowl’s character to Michael Corleone), Disney should be shamed for putting more money into this film than they did into BLM charities, and I hope that Eoin Colfer finds whatever he was paid worth it to see his greatest creation butchered and disrespected like this.

#Michael in the Mainstream #Review #movie review #Artemis Fowl #Kenneth Branagh #Eoin Colfer #fantasy film #fantasy #science-fantasy #Josh Gad #Judi Dench #Disney #Disney+#disney movie

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