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ggsbooks123 · 6 months

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Memories — part two of memory garden

warning: gets pretty angsty here and character deaths 😓 mentions of suicide (jude bby is guilt ridden)

summary: you don’t know how much longer you can take it. The thoughts eating away at you telling you to kill someone in your heart you knew was pure good… but what happens when the voices turn on you?

a lil disclaimer yall i mixed cressidas name with cresta without thinking and realised half way through… i couldn’t be bothered to go back and fix it so i continued using it 😭 cresta is cressida!

— —

The next morning I woke up to Boggs shaking me and asked me to step outside, the sun was only just making its ascent.

I notice my restraint is off, Boggs must have taken them off before waking me up, I took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure why he had done it, I was in no right mind.

My eyes lifted at the doorway, Peeta was right there… No. I shook my head, following Boggs out the door.

He stood gazing over the destruction of the city, I tightened my fist when the echo of a voice tried to break through. Not now. This was the outcome of war and nothing I did to them now would prevent this. But the voices never agreed.

“Wanted to check how you were feeling after your first night” He explained once I joined him at his side, it was nice that he cared.

I shrug, glancing back over my shoulder “I don’t think it’s a good idea that i’m here, I was getting help back at the district… I don’t know why i’m here” I definitely didnt think it was a good idea, Coin had sent me here knowing i was far from recovery.

“Coin always has a reason” Boggs muttered like he’d been reading my thoughts “I think she has no use for Katniss and Peeta anymore-“ He eyes filled in the blanks his words didn’t…

“She sent me to kill them” I whisper back realisation smacking into, I was a weapon, again. But it wasn’t the capital this time, it was the rebellion.

When will i be free?

The voice sounds almost sad and I realise that it’s not a voice, it’s my own thoughts. My own depressing and given up thoughts.

“She can try and turn you into some psycho killer but the people in that room care about you, even if you don’t see it. So do I, the three of you kids have seen more hell than anyone deserves” Boggs explains, finally turning from the city to face me. “You’re just kids”

I frown, glancing down at my hands. Kids. We weren’t even eighteen years old, it was something that defined so much about someone and id forgotten.

“Thank you” I whisper, movement from inside alerts me and I reach for my gun, what if Peeta took this distraction as an opportunity but then Katniss stepped out, my heart didn’t slow but my hands dropped.

“What’re you doing out here so early?” Katniss asked stepping closer but keeping a respectful distance, my hand clenched.

She’s with Peeta, they will kill us all. The desire to kill Katniss was easier to push down but when it came to Peeta is was a thirst for blood like no other.

I shake my head, not hearing what Boggs responded with.

“How are things?” Boggs doesn’t respond to this question so I glance up and see they both have their attentions on me.

How are things? I wanted to scoff, but I knew that I was an accident waiting to happen, they didn’t know what would set me off. Apparently just saying how are things is one example. I shake my head and I notice the flash of concern.

“I can only get better right?” I spit, I don’t mean for it come out like that but she flinches and Boggs places his hand on her shoulder.

I feel it, my hand moving on its own before my right slapped down on it, instantly both their eyes slammed to me and without further explanation i declare, “We need to put my restraint back on”

And with that Katniss went inside and woke the others and Boggs cuffed me again.

Finnick was the first to step out, alongside a girl with a vines blooming flowers across the left half of her shaved head “Jude, I wanted you to meet Cresta, she’d one of the directors for this whole thing”

I smiled lightly at her, hoping to be polite since she no doubt had to stay up for an hour and watch me last night. “Nice to meet you, are you from the Capitol?”

She nods, “Do I give off that capitol ignorance?” She asked as a joke but in her eyes I could tell she was pleading I said no which made me smile slightly wider. I liked her.

“No, no. I was just asking didn’t mean to hit right on the money” I shrugged, “Maybe after this I could read palms?” I raise an eyebrow at Finnick who seems to just be smiling at me. “What?”

“Nothing, just glad you’re finally started talking about an after this” And with that Cresta and him left me, sending my mind reeling.

After…

— —

The next few days were especially hard, we had to travel a few streets at a time due to these devices called pods, the game makers had created them, no death should be boring apparently.

One of the pods had contained thousands upon thousands of snakes, luckily they seemed to stop at a certain point. Just like in the games except we could activate them from a distance.

Some of the other pods though, made it harder to remember where I was and who my friends are. Boggs had set off the last pod, four explosions had destroyed the road before them and each explosive made unbidden thoughts enter my head.

Now we were slowly making our way through the Capital streets, it seemed bizarre to think that it was once luxury.

“How’re you feeling?” His voice breaks through everything, and my neck snaps to him as I take a step back, bumping into Finnick who seems to have noticed why and is already guiding me to walk again.

Peeta frowns, turning away for a moment before looking back at me “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you” Maybe he was trying to be nice, because we both knew it hadn’t been the reason.

“It’s- It’s okay. Really. Just a lot going on, and I think I’m feeling better. The questions that i’m asking help” I respond, trying to stay calm and push the voices away, though they’re not really there at the moment.

He seems to perk at my words before shooting over his shoulder “Ask one now, can’t hurt” I blow a breath, rattling through my brain for anything and then it clicked.

We’re back in the 75th Hunger Games, it’s a couple days in and we look utterly spent, I don’t even look like i’m making my next five steps.

I try to remember when this was, must’ve been right before the arena been destroyed, Peeta and I had run into the Careers and I’d paid with three strikes to my chest, Peeta not much better off.

The thought of the wounds made me reach for my chest, but they were gone. Magically healed by the Capital just to be tortured mentally.

I watch myself trip slightly but Peetas there in an instant, arm looping around my waist, holding me for dear life.

It looked so natural. Right. Together, his eyes never leaving me, concern dripping with every blink.

I hear him whisper like he’s next to me “We’re almost at the beach alright, just a little further” I can feel the desperation in his words, he needed me to make it.

I remember the exhaustion now, the utter fatigue I felt. The thought to close my eyes was over bearing but I couldn’t let Peeta down… win, I couldn’t let him win!

I snap out of the memory, luckily Finnick has my arms in his hands because i’ve stopped again and Peeta is looking at me with concern over his shoulder every few seconds. “Jude?” Finnick whispers and I take deep breath.

“In the last Hunger Games,” I began, trying to sort out the memory, he was saving me or was he the reason I ended up at the Capitol? “You saved me after the Careers attacked us, real or not real”

He frowned at the question, was it concern or hurt in his eyes, I didn’t know because when he blinked it was gone but then he stopped turning to face me. This time Finnick doesn’t push me forwards. He didn’t save you, and now he knows that he can’t get away with his lies anymore. Kill him!

Before I could act on the voices that abruptly awokened he speaks up, “I got you to that beach, then the arena went out and the Capital got you. So yeah, I saved you from the Careers but I couldn’t save you from the Capital and it’ll kill me everyday that you had to go through that and this and I couldn’t do anything”

His voice grew more anguished and devastated with each word and I found tears falling down my own face as he took deep breaths in front of me. The old me would’ve known how much this was eating at him, would’ve helped him but how could I?

I didn’t know me anymore. Or what I could do before I snapped.

I didn’t know what to say so I said “Haymitch told me that I- I told them if it came down to it, to save you” His eyes sharpened on me somehow, “I don’t blame you for what happened in the Capital, I never will. I’m sorry”

The air hung still as Boggs turned to them finally, breaking the moment “Keep up! We haven’t got all day” Peeta sighed, glancing at Boggs before solely landing on me again.

“Real. I saved you from the Careers” I smiled lightly, kill him, I shoved it down not paying any attention to it.

“Thank you” Finally, we began to follow the others down and around another corner. Soon we were arriving at our next pod, this one had a large arch with completely and utterly destroyed walls surrounding it left to right.

More destruction passed as they continued, how long before it’s too much, until the city isn’t even salvageable. Boggs told us to hide behind the walls while he set it off the next pod and then checked for anymore. We did as told, I took position between Finnick and Katniss and two other guys i didn’t know, Peeta and Cresta, Jackson and Pollux on the other side.

I felt anticipation, the voice had free roam when the pods went off. Too much going on at once, I couldn’t control it.

The pod detonation sent my mind spiraling, as I assumed, this one, four guns emerged from the wall and rained bullets into the archway destroying bits of the wall they were behind.

If you killed them their symbol would be gone, who would push that hope and if not for Katniss and Peeta, it would die with them. The voice stronger than it’d been in days.

No! I crouched further agaisnt the wall we’d taken cover behind, I’d been given my blank gun back for the promo but this was all too much, I felt the butt of the gun against my temple as I curled into my self.

I bring my head up and smack it against the gun, get out of my head. Get out. Get out! “My favourite colour is purple, I can’t wear red bows. Peeta saved me. My favourite-“ I repeat the words, whispered and keep bringing the butt of my gun to my temple.

A hand on my shouldern brings me back, at first my eyes catch the utterly devastated ones across from me. Peeta. He looks like he’d burn the world… For me. I break the eye contact quickly and the look in Finnicks eyes said it all. He didn’t have to go through what I had to understand, I didn’t know if I’d be able to do this without him, or Peeta… No matter how much I wanted to kill him sometimes.

Suddenly an explosion going off catches us off guard, did they set off another pod? “Boggs!” Katniss screams break the air, Finnicks hands move under my shoulders and lifts me to my feet, hauling me around the corner.

We both freeze at the sight, easily three of our squad members had been hit by the bomb. But it’s Boggs who lays in Katniss’s arms that makes my stomach drop and I’m almost sure I would have crumbled if not for Finnick. Bogg’s legs were gone, nothing but two stumps and onrushing blood.

Oh god, oh god. I slam my eyes shut and a ringing breaks out in my head. This is my fault, it’s all my fault, I never should have trusted them, Boggs should have never trusted them. The thoughts come harsher than they have in weeks and I can’t break away from them.

Kill them before they kill us all. This one isn’t my voice and I snap my eyes open sure I’d see his old and drawn face in front of me, but he’s not there. Relief fills me, but the twitch in my hand isn’t as my eyes dart to Peeta.

He must’ve been hit by the backlash of the bomb, Jackson was helping him to his feet as Cresta was helping one of the twins, who’d I forgotten were even there amongst all the chaos. His blue eyes darted around until they met mine and then they drifted to my hands.

I was holding my gun… I didn’t remember grabbing it, and it was full of blanks but it could still be a weapon. Kill him, I shake my head taking a step back at the same time I hear a click from afar, my head shoot’s up and I look to see l the other twin had rushed to help the other and had set off another pod.

I flinched ready for another bomb but instead the walls to the archway we just entered and the three others all begin to close, Katniss now standing from Boggs and holding the device he had seems to catch sight before anyone of us and the look of horror on her face is enough “Run!”

An arm grabs me and yanks me forward but my hands tighten on my gun, it was his fault. I can’t shake away these thoughts anymore, not after Boggs.

“Jude, keep it together!” Finnick spoke from beside me but nothing could bring me back, not after everything, everything that he’d done.

I felt my mind unscrewing, going barbaric at the thought of Peeta being so close and safe, he would make it out of this courtyard. And I tried to fight every single part of me that wanted to change that.

I couldn’t… Not after Boggs. You’re just kids, Peeta was a kid that had been the reason of hundreds and thousands of people… He had to die.

The air thrums around us as we rush up the stairs and I take this moment to look over my shoulder, a wave of black liquid lurches towards us and with utmost certainty I don’t want to find out what happens if it reaches me but then my mind flicks.

No consequences, kill him and die knowing you saved innocents. I wanted to shake these thoughts away, Peeta rushing up behind me tells me that he’d probably only run when he realised I was safe but a larger part of me knew he had some hidden agenda to kill me and cause more harm than good.

I had time.

It was the last confirmation I needed, shoving Finnick off me and throwing myself at Peeta, I let one of hands release the gun as I grab for his shoulder but his foot catches something and I only manage to grab his shirt as we go rolling down a few of the steps as he tries to fight off my grip, I hoped I had timed it right.

“Jude! Don’t” He cried out, finally managing to grab my wrist so I raise the gun in the other, “You have to die” I whisper, unsure why I needed to say it before I bring down the gun and finally, finally-

I’m shoved, NO. Snow’s voice screams in my head and I let out a cry, the yell breaks my skull open and I feel every ounce of rage pouring from the word.

His anger becomes my own and fuels me as I jump up from the ground and grapple the man from our squad who had ruined ruined ruined everything.

I knew it was wrong, some part of me as my ears rang and my mind exploded, but I couldn’t stop stop stop. The liquid rushed behind the man in my arms now, we’d spun, had I done that? Before my foot lifted and connected with his middle and I sent him into the abyss of oil.

Then it was all gone, the ringing, the voices and my mind was clear. I just killed a man. Someone must have grabbed me because i’m moving but I don’t feel it and I don’t care I’d killed someone, killed killed killed.

I feel the tears now as a door slams shut behind me and I hauled up my stairs, these are wooden not stone. The voices come back but they are no longer on my side. And it’s my own voice.

You killed an innocent. You need to die, you’re a danger. And I agree, I scream and scream that I want nothing more than to be dead and I must’ve actually been screaming because soon all I see is the same abyss I had forsaken another to.

— —

An explosion wakes me up and proceeds to remind me of everything that had happened before I succumbed to the darkness, I took in my surrounding the only light coming from the curtained window that Katniss and Gale were peering out of.

Whatever had just happened outside had affected Katniss more than Gale, and as I shift my position to get a better look but it’s useless, Gale lets the blinds close.

I let my eyes dance around the room, there’s more people in our group than I had realised, two men sat together checking the other for injuries, another man I seen but still didn’t know the name of stood with Cresta while Finnick and Peeta sat watching the window that Katniss and Gale were at. Jackson was no where in sight, I didn’t want to see her anyways, the guilt would twist even further. The twins… gone.

I swallow the sickness I feel, I had been so crazed I hadn’t taken the time to even get to know them.

All of the squad was far from me, I realised I was placed on stairs and the rail along it is what my hands are cuffed to.

Now you can’t hurt anyone. That hadn’t changed, no longer would I fight the urge to kill Peeta, somehow my wish of not killing him had been granted. Now I had to try not to kill myself, though that statement was half hearted.

Suddenly the familiar ring of the Capitals announcement played and my veins grew cold until one of the squad members spoke up “All the tvs in Panem are connected to the announcements, if the powers on then the shows running”

I rolled my eyes, the power that they could flush into abandoned apartments was incredible when some districts could barely keep the lights on for an hour or half.

The anthem continued, causing me to close my eyes but that only let the voices free reign in the darkness.

You could’ve been helping them stop this instead you let the Capital control you. I grit my teeth together not being able to take in what was happening on screen from the inner battle I was having with my own thoughts. You nearly killed Peeta and you were proud of it.

I nearly threw up.

My skin was on fire, pure and unadultered disgust and shame with myself, how could I have not realised that killing Peeta was the worst possible thing I could do, I would be nothing. Nothing, there was no way to put into words what would happen if he died.

And by my own hand, I closed my eyes. No. Never again would I let them win, hurt him. Never. I’d kill myself before I ever did something like that again… If I was even given the chance of redemption after what I did.

I open my eyes as I hear my name mentioned and see that the Capital is replaying everything that’s been haunting me since i woke up.

I watch the black oil like substance hurtle it’s way towards us, and I see it clearly now, Peetas eyes are on me waiting until I’m safe and clear before he runs after me and in that split second decision i’ve made one aswell.

Watching it on the screen was horrifying, my arm reaching for his throat but finding his shirt instead, us rolling together and still the look of murder on my face, so twisted it doesn’t even look like me before Mitch yanked me off and I thanked him by kicking him into the pod trap.

His scream echoed through the screen and I flinched, I’d been so full of rage and out of it I hadn’t heard it or seen as a metal cage lined with spikes shot from the oil, encasing the now dead Mitch.

I close my eyes unable to watch the rest. Monster, monster, monster. My voice spits over and over again, these I can’t shut out. It’s simply my thoughts the more I push it triples.

“Well, what’s next?” Jackson asked out of sight, I glanced around the room yet none of them seemed to look at me. I understood why they wouldn’t, some of them knew Mitch.

I killed their friend. Yet no one responded.

Was it not obvious? “I- I killed him” I whispered, all of their heads snapped like my voice was the last they expected “You should either leave me here or put a bullet in my head so no one else dies”

In the corner of my eye I see a hint of blonde flinch at my words, but I’d nearly killed him if it wasn’t for Mitch… Now he was dead, I didn’t get to live. “It’s the only reasonable solution, you can’t tell me i’m wrong”

“You’re wrong” Peeta cut in before anyone else could agree or disagree, I couldn’t tell by their faces and yet none of them cut into Peeta “You are restrained and we have a watch on you, Mitch knew what he was signing up for, we all did”

I looked away from him. This wasn’t right, my thoughts were against me now but what happened when they turned on him again? Because they would.

“You saved me once, you’ll be saving me this time aswell if you just-“

“No”

My eyes met his and I knew I’d never seen the fire in his gaze that he’d held this moment, Peeta was not budging on this. I frowned, I was a liability why couldn’t he see that?

My mind flashed to solutions, none came to mind. “There has to be a way where if I know i’m going to snap that I can stop myself” My words break at the end as I gaze around the room, there’s only silence “Please… please”

Gale steps forward and I see Peeta take a step but Katniss stops him, and I’m grateful as the brunette boy crouches down and pulls something from a hidden pocket.

A small pill, it was hard to think it’d do what i asked, delicately Gale pushed the pill into my own hidden pocket and patted it “It’s Nightlock, no pain and instant. Only if you have to”

I nodded, hesitantly but promising “Only if I have to”

And with that they set out, planning a course of action. The pods were too often now, they would have to stop constantly.

It was time to go underground

—

- … sooo part three?!?

—

DONT SCREAM AT ME IK IM AN ASSHOLE IM SO SO SO SORRY FOR MAKING YALL WAIT MY GOODREADS GOAL WAS SLACKING HAD TO CATCH UP HOPE YALL LIKE THIS XXXX

taglist girlies💓: @yazminetrahan @solarbxby @abbersreads @antonietta18

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levmada · 5 months

Note

PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.

I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

#levi aot #snk levi #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #aot levi #aot levi ackerman #attack on titan levi #aot meta #levi heichou #rivaille heichou #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #lance corporal rivaille #levi snk #levi.thoughts #aot #attack on titan

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blissfali · 3 months

Text

I’ve been thinking a lot about Lexi’s stream from yesterday and I just wanted to share my thoughts:

Hearing all the lies Wilbur has told has really like. Well I knew it was bad obviously I knew he was a BAD guy, but hearing the like. Genuine “Women aren’t funny”, just really got me thinking about how much of the platform he built was a lie.

It really hurts because you think of all his songs about all these things that connected with a lot of people, but if he can put on this role of. Actually caring about women’s issues. And it all have been a complete lie, what else has he straight up put on a facade about?

I understand that there is a difference between people and internet personas, but you have to admit that the lengths he went to are beyond normal. An internet persona is usually just more put together, more energetic, etc. It’s not straight up lying about your opinions in order to please your audience. Like that’s insanely shitty and weird.

Call me parasocial for this but it genuinely makes you wonder how far he went. All of it. I don’t know how to articulate this I might be being too vague. It just makes me think if he was willing to foster this community on safety that he didn’t believe in like… why? For the fame and money? Like is it not just easier to believe those opinions instead of just PRETENDING? How do you go so far lying on being on someone’s side just to say it’s all fake 😭Like at what point is it necessary to truly convince yourself of those things.

And again I understand it’s very easy to lie on the internet about you are. I know that. But just like… the sheer SCALE of it.

He’s always came across as pretty humble on and off of stream, so to hear that he was basically doing it all for the sake of getting money and fame and not a genuine care for creation it just. That fucks you up. I haven’t put as much money into him as other people have and I’m grateful but also. I know if I had had the means to that I would’ve. Why would you manipulate people like that, y’know? It’s just. insane to me.

You play this character on an SMP about someone whose struggling with mental health and suicide, and you turn around and abuse your partner, and you lie to your entire audience, and you hurt others in your life. At what point does it just become too much effort to lie to people like that? Why put up this elaborate facade?

I think I’m going in circles now 😭I just want to know if anyone else feels like this.

#tw abuse #ask to tag #i dont want to tag this the (name) situation bcuz that is insanely disrespectful to me #so if anyone would like me to create a different tag they can block just let me know

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iridescentdove · 9 months

Note

What about a Platonic! BSD x Child! Reader is very smart, like almost Ranpo-level smart, but they don’t use their smarts and intellect for anything at all except for online video games, board games, etc., and they’re lazy and don’t go outside at all. Plus, the first time Reader and Dazai had a game of chess, Dazai literally lost two moves in, and Dazai was rethinking his entire life choices in that moment because how the fu-

(How Dazai and Reader’s game of chess went *REAL* link)

WHY DO I HEAR BOSS MUSIC?

platonic!bsd x child!smart!reader

A/N: I for an odd reason, love it when characters are humbled and seen inferior 😭 I love this request too! Here it is~

Everyone loves you.

I'm so jealous rn /j

Well as a kid it would be expected to be like that! Although, it was a little different as you were ... considered unique to other children around you. How so?

ULTRA DEDUCTION BABY.

No but for real. FUKUZAWA merely took you into the agency since you seemed to have had no parents by your side to take care of you. As such, he took on the responsibility himself. The agency takes care of you now! <3

Anyways, let's say you were basically rivalling RANPO in terms of deduction and overall smartness capabilities, as he now thinks you are a worthy opponent.

But even he himself lost to someone like DAZAI.

Yes. Of course it was true, the suicidal detective just seemed to be way too good. The so-called 'world's best detective' had lost to a man, in which who, flirts with women 24/7 and asks for double suicide everywhere he went.

But to say the day came when brunette's demise lurked around the corner ... because of a chess game.

The agency had nothing important going on in particular as the peace of Yokohama was maintained in the meantime. Simply put, you guys were on vacation. So what else to do other than some old family bonding?

There were lots of activities planned that day, and everyone had enjoyed it to the fullest. You did also find it fun, but ... of course, for someone your age – you were mature as fuck.

And so, you did what everyone wouldn't have the balls to do.

Challenge DAZAI OSAMU himself to a chess match.

So obviously, everyone got a bit nervous. Pretty sure you had no idea how smart the suicidal maniac was, nor did they ever believe you would last a good 'ol round even once. By some experience of a certain detective – there is absolutely no one better than DAZAI himself.

The chess game went on. You looked so cute and innocent! Maybe he should go easy on you?? After all, you're just a kid.

And yet ... he was downright horrified.

In a matter of four turns in, the death-craving young man was absolutely OBLITERATED by you. Upon the match ending, a pin drop silence was heard. Eyes widened in shock, whom even RANPO himself never imagined such. Everyone never spoke, not even coughed for a solid 5 minutes.

But it was true. You DID defeat him. FUKUZAWA had the face of a very proud parent – he really didn't think you'd emerge victory in this small innocent match.

The president promised to treat you out next time a successful mission was in tow. Of course, DAZAI couldn't believe he had lost to you! A little child!

It would definitely take a lot of time for him to wrap his head around that – but once he does, oh boy.

I think you a little crazy there uncle ahaha

He almost literally brags about your existence everyday to anyone. You can't tell me he hasn't literally shoved in and mocked in front of people's faces with that shit eating grin of his oh my fucking God 😭

Then again, no one is safe. An even better gifted than the two greatest treasures of the Armed Detective Agency.

FYODOR better be shaking in his fugly ass boots.

You're coming for him alright. (and so am I)

Honestly, the ADA cannot be anymore proud to have an ally like you by their side. Missions and war would cease to exist from how well you managed to help them. And even moreso, combined with RANPO himself.

World destruction who?? I only know (Y/N) (L/N) 😍

Your existence is known, everyone knows about what you've done and how respected you are despite your young age.

Who tf let the Port Mafia fuck ya'll up?? Oh nevermind they were destroyed because of ur amazing little ass. The Hunting Dogs tryna tear apart the ADA which was mistaken as terrorists? Umh chill anyways so you already had a plan– RANPO doesn't know what to do for once? You're already there to help. Decay of the Angels? Lives up to their name, they're decaying under your superior brain and intellect.

You're just found to be the lifeline of the agency. In return, everyone treats you very well (spoils you even), making sure you lived your days as a child to the best extreme possible.

And to be frank – no one dare underestimate you anymore.

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #platonic bsd #armed detective agency #ada x reader #bsd #decay of angels #port mafia #ranpo edogawa #dazai osamu

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moumouton4 · 7 months

Text

Jealousy, Possession || Izuku Midoriya x reader

A/n : Prompt 27 of the Smutember 2023 ( Okay so this is not as smutty as I would have wanted, but I'm still very sick and I have a LOT of things to do as the mid-terms are coming my way. I hope you'll like it nevertheless. And if you want something with a similar plot, like a jealousy or a possessive character I'll do my best to write it, and make up for this one. As I said it took me a while to write I don't even remeber the beginning 😭 )

The list of prompts is HERE

Smutember 2023 Masterlist ⚜

Warnings : no mention of gender for reader, mention erection nothing graphic, sex implied, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Word count : 1515

No one ever thought he, the kind and caring Izuku could be like that. I mean it was far from the personality everyone attributed to him to have. And since you were the type to be touchy-feely, people guessed it was fine to act the way they wanted with you ( within the boundaries of respect and consent of course )

But with time some people, the one who were closer to you noticed slight changes in his behavior. It started as nothing, like quick glances your way when your friends of the Baku Squad would talk to you, to slowly inching closer to where you guys were standing just to know what you’re talking about and also to be sure no one would get to close

It would have seemed impossible to anyone to think that Izuku was this jealous and possessive of you but it was so easy to be when you spent almost all your day with Bakugo, the one who never fails, the one who can do everything better than him. And let’s not forget Denki, he is just so funny, more than Izuku knew he could ever be. And Eijiro and Sero.

But then again something switched in him when he was seeing Eijiro’s arm around your shoulders, or Denki giving you a piggy-back ride. Even he knew that Katsuki was standing or sitting always closer to you than from anyone else and seriously it made the green haired boy’s blood boil in his veins. Seriously, at some point he just wanted to whisk you away from them and keep you to himself, for fear of you to realize how lame he was compared to them.

One day Sero patted you back in a comforting manner after you got a bad grade and Izuku literally growled lowly as he saw you both getting physically closer. he knew that it was utterly friendly but he couldn’t help it, his hand that had flown to his mouth stayed there as he tried to look away. But after a moment he just couldn’t help it and walked to you. At first he yawned, giving you puppy dog eyes, telling you he was tired - it was 3 pm - and that he wanted you to go take a nap “Excuse me… erm can we like erm step aside ? I feel really tired and I could use a nap” saying this he really hoped you would follow him and at the same time get farther away from Sero, who was quite the charmer when he intended to.

Though you didn’t get this and told him “Oh well go ahead and get some rest. I’ll come check on you later”

He didn’t want you to come later. He wanted you to come now. So he tried again “Y/n don’t you want to come with me now. It’ll be easier for me to rest if I have you close-”

“I promise I won’t be long” you cut him.

“Ughh…” he huffed as he started to get annoyed, his jealousy getting the best of him “You know what” he said sitting down next to you on the couch “I’ll start resting here”

These kinds of feelings were so new for him and he didn’t know how he could handle them without getting no one hurt in the process. His cheeks were lightly rosy due to his feelings and the shyness he had to suppress to speak out loud in front of your friend. He tried so hard to close his eyes and actually do as if he was really tired and trying to rest but he just couldn’t. Not when he was so close to you, not when you were laughing so hard at his jokes and not when Bakugo was making his way down the corridor towards you.

The blond haired boy didn’t do anything different in comparison to what he would have done any other day. He walked in his typical way, exhaled dramatically the way he always does and gave you and Sero a quick nod to greet you. But it seemed to be enough for Izuku to suddenly stand up and get a hold of your arm.

He really tried to stay calm, breathing slowly, reminding himself that you choose him and him only. But somehow he couldn’t help but think that if you wanted to leave him for a better man you would. Looking into his eyes you could see through his green orbs the fire that burned behind. He gently tugged at your arm / shirt, he needed to go now. He knew it wasn’t right of him to ask you this because you too deserved to spend time with your friends. But currently he couldn’t think of anything else than having you just for himself.

You quickly understood ( I mean it was about time 😂 ) that now was the moment for him to leave this place before his jealousy gets overboard but it was without counting on Katsuki’s temper “Why are you leaving so soon dumbass ? It’s Friday afternoon”

“YEAH !” screamed Denki who was just arriving with Eijiro and Mina “We’re going to celebrate the week-end with some drinks and good music”

As you were about to gently make your way out of this discussion, Izuku who was at your side still holding onto you pulled you against him as he said “Thank you but no” and with that he walked off, dragging you with him in the process. Needless to say that everyone - even you - were flabbergasted to have attended such a situation. And maybe even more stunned by the fact that it was Izuku they had just seen acting on a jealous impulse.

“Am I the only one who saw that or- OUCH ! Don’t hit me like this”

“Shut up Dunce Face ! I already don’t like this-”

“Come on Bakugo you can’t be even impermeable to the power of love-”

“Don’t cut me off when I’m speaking Shitty Hair !” the blond roared, he had known you for years and he didn't like how Izuku whisked you out of the room, even if it was easy to see that you weren’t really struggling against it. It was also very strange and unhabitual for him to see Midoriya act so… dominant with someone else. He knew he had to address the matter with you in a way or another but he had to find a clever way to do it. The redhead at his right did his best to help him understand that it was in human nature to feel self-conscious sometimes and that it could create jealousy. Something Izuku, like everyone, could be a subject too.

Meanwhile, Izuku was fuming from the inside as he walked you both to his dorm. He was so angry at himself for having let his feelings get the best of him though he just couldn’t help but feeling extremely possessive of you at the moment. As you sat down on his bed he sat next to you and cuddled up against your side as you both lied down. He nuzzled against the side of your neck, taking a deep breath in of your parfum. It helped him calm down, but he still felt very clingy “Mine” he muttered “Only mine”

His cheeks were still growing very red as his brain registered the words that just escaped his mouth. But it wasn’t the only thing that made the heat run through his body. He felt very warm inside, he felt like he needed to assert what he had just said. He wanted to make you his, fully, in every possible way. And you could actually feel his needs throbbing against you and you knew you too were going to need him soon.

When you looked up at him, you found that he was already looking at you with intensity, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. Unable to muster the words you just leaned in, selling your shared passion and promise for what was to come with a long kiss - that was pretty much awaited on your boyfriend’s side.

Let’s say that from there, even if he wasn’t one to talk a lot, he was one to act and so he did, all night, as he filled you with everything you needed to make your eyes roll in the back of your head, but also with every ounce of his love for you. Making you his over and over again until his brain couldn't trick him into thinking otherwise anymore.

Your body arched and writhed relentlessly under his assaults. He didn’t relent at any point wanting to prove himself to you over and over again. He was the one making you feel like this, not Denki, not Sero and not Bakugo.

Denki almost came back in the evening to ask you guys to come and enjoy the little party they decided to throw that night. Fortunately Eijiro prevented him from walking on your entangled and sweaty limbs as Izuku mated you. Denki would have been choked for life and Izuku would have never left his dorm anymore.

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raeofsunrise · 4 months

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skate to me

pairing: clapton davis x gn!reader

summary: !BASED OFF A REQUEST I FORGOT TO ATTACH THIS TO! clapton was absolutely astonished when he saw that the person who skated right by him in the hallway was right here, next to him, in his science class.

warnings: light cursing, i think?? i’m not fucking sure at this point

word count: 1.0k

author’s note: so sorry it took me like a whole month to get back! 😭this has been crazy ass couple of months, and i just couldn’t get anything out if i tried. i honestly think that i might take a break on writing for clapton and characters like mike, simply because i don’t think i have any motivation to write for them. i don’t wanna let you guys down, but i also don’t wanna write crappy fics, either. i’ll say on a separate post who i’ll be writing for. thanks so much for your guys support! and with that, enjoy ☆

clapton thought he was the only one who skated through the hallways of grizzly lake highschool. it wasn’t like he gatekeeped it or anything, but it was his thing. and everyone knew that.

so when he felt you brush against him in the hallway this morning, he barely got a glimpse of your shoes and purple hoodie before you skated away. it frustrated him—

wait, skated?

he thought he was crazy. he had to have hallucinated those rollerskates. but the sound when you rushed by him, those had to have been rollerskates. but nobody else but him did that. that was his thing. besides his ego being a bit affected, he was more excited than anything. maybe he could make a new friend. he’d never met anyone else who skated, especially at school. but where did you go? no, more importantly, what class were you in? clapton was not famous for being patient, so this would be difficult.

he begrudgingly made his way to science class, upset that he might not see you until passing period, where the hallway would be filled with what felt like thousands upon thousands of people. no way he was gonna see you during that. and if he tried to find you during lunch? he’d definitely look like a total creep. so this was a lose lose situation. he’d never be able to talk to the stranger with the skates.

this made clapton’s walk to class even more frustrating. throughout the whole day, all he could hope for was to hear your skates against the ground. but he didn’t. not once. it was the end of the day, and he was heading to his last class. clapton was just about done with everything when he saw a pair of skates next to a desk. and just above that desk was a purple hoodie. and even more above that was probably the most gorgeous person he’d ever seen.

he was practically just standing and staring in the doorway. of course you weren’t staring back at him, he thought. you were busy listening to music and getting ready for class, getting your notebooks and everything.

clapton didn’t move until another student shoved him out of the way so they couldd get through, muttering something under their breath in the process. clapton couldn’t care less, though. because there was an open seat next to you and what perfect timing was it that he was the only person who hadn’t sat down yet? this coincidence made him believe that maybe there was a god. maybe it was you.

his mood an entire 180 from how it was less than 2 minutes ago, he sat down right next to you, waiting for you to notice him like an excited child.

not noticing someone had sat next to you, you weren’t expecting someone to be right next to you. normally, as far as first days go, people liked to haze the new kid. so someone looking eager to talk to you was not a good sign.

“hi,” you say slowly, going to look at him.

“hey there, gorgeous.” he said. as soon as that came out of his mouth he knew that was a big yikes. (ayo?? 😟)

your eyes widened. what the hell was his problem?

“woah, coming off a little strong there, aren’t we?” you ask.

how could he save this already trainwreck of a conversation? if he could even call it that.

“sorry, don’t know why i said that. i just, uh,”

shit, shit, shit! think of something clapton!

“you skate, right? that’s pretty cool. i do, too.” he held up his skate board.

still suspicious and not at all buying this “no ill-intentions” act, you pull your skates closer to your desk.

“yeah, i do.”

he continues, “well i just thought that since we both skate we could—“

but he was cut off, as class had apparently started while you two were conversing and your teacher was not happy with either of you.

clapton heard the teacher say both of your last names, followed by a very stern “detention!”

this wasn’t anything surprising to him, but one look at you told him that this was not how you were expecting your first day to go.

you rolled your eyes and shot him a dirty look.

“thanks a lot, davis.”

so instead of a trainwreck, his attempt to talk to you was a total and complete fuck-up.

great.

——————

the end of class came painstakingly slow, and he saw you hurrying to head out so you didn’t have to walk to detention with him. i mean, could he blame you. he practically screwed over your entire day.

clapton always took himself as an optimist, so maybe he could still save this. right?

as you put on your skates, unaware that this might land you in even more trouble, you felt someone tap you on your shoulder.

there was nobody else left in the classroom besides you and the person who you did not wanna see. so you turn around, and with no surprise, there was the douche who landed you in detention.

“oh, are you here to get me suspended, too?” you ask.

he couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

“yeah, i deserve that. sorry about all…this, by the way. i really didn’t mean for you to get in trouble.” he said.

damn, you thought. he’s not a bad actor.

you smiled a not-so-friendly smile back at him. “sure, you didn’t.”

you try to skate away and out of the classroom, but he catches up to you on his skateboard.

“no, seriously! i just wanted to talk to you. i’ve never met anyone who also skates, and i just thought you were really cool and pretty and—“

you stopped skating ahead of him a while ago, but he didn’t notice that, so he kept skateboarding right into an open locker’s door.

you let out a laugh that definitely let every teacher in the vicinity know you weren’t where you were supposed to be right now, but you couldn’t help it.

clapton got up, rubbing the side of his face.

you walk up to him and pat him on the cheek.

“okay, i believe you.” you say, crossing your arms afterwards.

he lets out a smile that you’re pretty sure you’re gonna have to get used to.

“anything i can do to make it up to you?” he asks.

you take off your backpack and shove it in his arms.

“carry this for me?” you say.

“that’s the least i can do.”

#josh hutcherson #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #clapton davis #clapton davis x reader #josh hutcherson x reader #josh futturman x reader #peeta mellark x reader

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dramaticallycryingblood · 2 months

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Things I don’t get about the marauders fandom as someone who’s been obsessed with them for literal years

1. How we let so many characters be only children?? like I get that people don’t necessarily want to make OCs but HOW did it get to this? James, Marlene, Peter, Remus, Mary, Barty, Dorcas, Alice, Frank and so many others! Idk maybe it’s just where I’m from but look me in the eyes and tell me you know that many people who don’t have siblings ALSO the ratio is so off and barely any of them have only child energy. It’s just not right.

2. How sooo many of you aren’t multi shippers. Like what do you MEAN you can only see James with Regulus and Regulus with James?? What about bartylus? what about sunrose? what about draksun/sunkiller? what about moonwater? what about jily? what about prongstail? WHAT do you read?? Aren’t you bored??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN you only have ONE ship for each character???? As a multi shipper, I can be convinced of any ship with anything ranging from a real good fic or a pretty edit to an enthusiastic rant from a random person on TikTok and it just makes things interesting. Maybe my adhd brain just needs more ships to focus on or maybe some of you just lack flexibility ( or imagination), but we need to fix this cause there aren’t enough fics with the ships I like 😭😭

3. THE SHIP NAMES. I can’t be the only one who thinks some of these suck right? Like why are we saying jegulus when starchaser and sunseeker are RIGHT THERE?? Same with jily and flowerpot, and bartylus and starkiller. ALSO some names make me wonder if some of you just haven’t grasped the concept of ship names or if I just got it all wrong cause marylily and jegulily are just annoying, why are we keeping the L in Lily? The point is to merge the names together not stick them one beside the other, I just say marily and jeguily because it rolls off the tongue so much more easily

4. The Peter erasure. I just don’t get it, it’s so easy to include him in things, you don’t have to make him a main character, but just mention him every once in awhile. Sometimes I’m reading an important scene in a fic and everyone is mentioned EXCEPT for Peter! It’s so easy, just make him roll his eyes at his friends being idiots or something. And it’s not like you’ll get his personality wrong, ALL THESE CHARACTERS PERSONALITIES WERE MADE UP BY FANS but I understand that some people lack imagination so here’s some things about Peter I like to imagine: he’s a HUGE gossip, like my man sees and hears everything and he takes notes!! He likes to randomly turn into a rat and take a nap in one of the other marauders’ pocket, he does it so much that they had to tell the girls that they had a pet rat cause they were asking too many questions. He’s really perceptive and his friends are all oblivious so it leads to funny scenarios like:

Remus & Sirius after YEARS of pining: we’re dating

Peter: I thought you guys had been together since third year?

Sirius: I’ve literally introduced you to people I was dating?!

Peter, shrugging: look mate I don’t question you lot anymore, you do whatever you want, I don’t care what you’re into, I just don’t wanna know about it

He also pulls people, like he’s really nice and will gossip to anyone who’s in his vicinity so he’s friends with basically everyone and he’s funny and pretty and he’s got charisma so he just charms everyone and when I say everyone, I mean everyone, even the slytherins have a soft spot for him (that’s how he gets accepted among the death eaters during the war actually). In pranks he’s the lookout so he often has to distract the teachers so he asks them random things and spits out half-made up facts about anything so he’s besties with most of the teachers which means he doesn’t get many detentions.

5. The Black brothers, more specifically the way the speak to each other in most fics, like they call each other “brother” so often and as someone who has a brother I’ve never called him that. Is it an anglophone thing? Like do people who speak English at home all do that or are fic writers only children?? (That would explain my first point actually) Or is it more a rich people thin?? Cause I know it’s not a francophone thing that’s for sure (also special mention to people who don’t know anything about French writing Sirius and Regulus as French speakers, I can tell you don’t know what you’re writing about but I eat it up everytime anyway)

6. This is actually just about ao3 but I WANNA BE ABLE TO LEAVE MORE KUDOS!!! I just loooooove fics but I can’t leave kudos at every single chapter and I’m bad at writing comments so I can’t show the author how much I love their work, I hate itttt 😭

7. Why there aren’t more fics about the Black family, and not just Sirius and Regulus, but Andromeda, Bellatrix and Narcissa as well like that would be so interesting and maybe like a deep dive into the Black family ideals and all that (if you have fic recs I’m all ears!!)

8. How jegulily is a pretty popular ship (which I LOVE) yet SO FEW people ship Regulus and Lily outside of it! They are a power couple and I love them and they don’t need James to work!!!

9. Why there isn’t more background Minnie x Poppy cause they are my mothers and I wanna see them moooooreeee

If you read all of this I love you 🥰 have an amazing day/night

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drrobobitch · 4 months

Text

☆𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓣𝓸𝓐 𝓰𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪 𝓬𝓵𝓾𝓶𝓼𝔂 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 ☆ (yea pretty basic but it’s the best I got rn 😭)

Warnings: slightly angsty??,cringe,slightly cursing but otherwise fluff, mentions of burning….??? And fire??mentions of injury, car crashing, and stalking?? Blinky bro- get it together man

This is so long help 💀💀😭 (also sorry I didn’t include some of the characters I got lazy)

Jimbo

Jim…to say he worry’s for you is an understatement

Feels like he has to be there watching your every move so there’s no accidents

You’re bumping into walls, poles, signs, breaking things,tripping,accidentally burning things

Jim is kinda of confused…how did you not see that pole….it’s right there

But he doesn’t have the heart to throw shade your way

Even if you do break things

Very important things

In all truthfulness he is frustrated but never mad, especially at you

Even when frustrated he doesn’t snap at you or lash out (even if he did I wouldn’t even count it as that, he just doesn’t seem like the type to yell at his s/o or anyone for that matter)

He just tries to fix it to the best of his ability

And if you try to fix it, he’ll definitely appreciate it even if it is a little…..banged up

As for the burning….

After the first time you cooked together…

Wouldn’t let you near the; stove,microwave,oven, or even the toaster without his supervision

He’s just trying to keep you safe, he doesn’t want an accident to happen, so…can you really blame him???

If you’re able to drive no you’re not 😃

You’re not getting in that car

Is scared you’ll slip up and get hurt or worse

So he’ll ride in the car with you if you’re driving

Once he gets his drivers license, you’re not driving it for a while 🧍🏾‍♀️he’s just looking out for you

When you trip he tries his best to catch to catch you but there’s no guarantee

He also tries to pull you out the way when there’s a pole which usually works

Unless he’s distracted

Another thing, he’d never laugh if you fell, and he’d always help you back up

He’s so sweet I love him he’s such a gentleman 💙

Toby pie

Tbh he was probably scared of you at first 💀💀💀

Thought you were bad luck (thank eli for that)

He quickly figured out that wasn’t true

Nothing happened to him when you were around

It was just you tripping and falling 😭😭

He did try to help you to the best of his ability

Surprised whenever you bumped into a pole

“How did you not see that?!?! It was right there!!!”

Throws shade at you all the time for falling tripping, or worse

But always does it lightheartedly

Tells you to ‘be careful’ but you him both know that’s not possible, even if you tried

The burning now…

That’s what has him paranoid

What if you’re house burns down

“You burned my house to the ground” (sorry not sorry)

But still

Every time you tell him you’re cooking, he tells you to be careful or asks if he can help

Even if you say you don’t he’ll show up anyway 💀💀(“how I got you address…?…….don’t even worry about that bruh-“)

I mean you don’t want your house crispy do you?? 😭💀

Usually asks what you’re doing so he can keep track and be aware of what could go wrong

He’s lucky you’re just clumsy

Not one to laugh when you fall, but he has that stupid smile on his face while he helps you up

If you can drive, he feels very anxious about you driving

Doesn’t want you to get hurt or deal with the trouble of having to buy a new one and have the same thing happened over and over

So he offered to drive it for you (despite not having his license💀💀)

Either way start praying

If you break something, he helps you clean it up or just fixes it for you

If it’s something important, it’s likely that you never broke it because he never let you near it 😭😭 (no shade to you he’s just being careful)

But if you do break something important he’s definitely frustrated and you can tell

Toby is a very honest person, so he usually voices how he feels and his opinion

In this scenario…dw he’s not the type to yell at you or anything but he will slightly raise his voice an octave or two

But you can tell he’s upset

“I told you to be careful!! I told you this was really important, and to be careful with it……why didn’t you listen to me”

He knows that even if you tried you couldn’t but is still frustrated

But he’s not mad at you, he could never be mad at you

You usually try to fix it afterwards, which he is great full for that

Like a lot

(He’s so sweet I love Toby 🧡)

Claire bear

Tbh she just feels bad for you

You bump into stuff, fall and trip, burn things in chemistry by accident (you got ms. Janeth growing gray hairs💀💀)

And you break your own projects and assignments 😭😭😭

She usually offers to help you fix it

Let’s you know when there’s a pole or wall up ahead

Tries to stop you from tripping, but once again no guarantee

Is praying you don’t or haven’t already fell down the stairs (you have)

Tries to cook you food before you try to make it or she’ll buy you so many snacks or take out that you don’t even need to make lunch or make food 💀💀

Will also try and keep track of where you are so that she can be there to help you if you’re in danger

If you’ve got a car, she won’t necessarily drive it for you or tell you not to drive you

But will offer for you to ride or walk with her to spend time with you

And she’ll ask you almost everyday(she’s so slick)

It’s her little way of getting you to not drive the car without outright telling you (Claire is so smart, Claire>>>>>>)

Definitely helps you clean if you break something, if its glass…you’re not going anywhere near it or the mess you just made

Knowing you, you’d probably step on it or worse

If you break something important, like Toby, she probably didn’t let you near it in the first place

If you do break it…..

She’ll definitely be pissed

But she won’t say anything (that’s how you know bruh 💀)

She definitely wouldn’t yell at you, like at all

She wouldn’t even know what to say

In the end she feels bad because SHE thinks that YOU think she hates you

She doesn’t, and she lets you know that after a bit or after she’s calmed down

She’s more so frustrated than mad

If you try to fix it, she’ll definitely appreciate that

(Claire is a W girlfriend)

AAARRRGGHH

Confused as to why you keep bumping into walls and poles

Can you not see??? Are you blind??

Toby tells him you’re just clumsy but…..he doesn’t understand

What does clumsy mean?? And what does that have to do with you falling all the time??

Catches you when you trip or fall, not just sometimes, but all the time

He doesn’t pull you out of the way when there’s a wall or a pole

Instead he picks you up :)

Offers to carry you so that it’s less hazardous for you when traveling

Feels a little uneasy when you drive a car 😭😭

He doesn’t want you to crash okay 😭

As for cooking..

No 😃

Hell no😦

He can’t really stop you…

Well not that he can’t he just doesn’t 💀💀

The others keep track of you for him (mainly Toby)

So they’re there supervising, you…a grown adult

They know you feel embarrassed but they don’t care, they’re saving your life

And your house-

But anyways back to AAARRRGGHH

Won’t stop you from driving a car, but if you get in an accident even once

Gets nervous about you driving one again or any vehicle for that matter

If you break something he’s probably gonna eat it 💀💀 (if it is something he can eat)

Dw it doesn’t hurt him even if it is broken glass

If you break something important, he probably wouldn’t even be mad

Not even frustrated more so sad if anything at all

Does say anything either just holds it looking sad

Which makes you feel bad (and sad)

So you fix it (or try at least)

Which he very much appreciates, and it lifts his spirits quite a bit :) 💚

Blinky

Also confused as to how your bumping into walls

Like bbg can you not see???

Probably thought you had bad luck but after a while figured out that wasn’t the case

Still a bit cautious around you though

Tries to warn you when there’s a pole but is usually too late

Also try’s to catch you when you trip, which he always does of course cus it’s Blinkous duh 🙄 (my 5th hubby wubby/hj)

For his own sake he HAS to be there to watch you cook

Also you’ve caught him following you from time to time, he’s just looking out for you buddy, he’s trying his best

He mainly just asks where you’re headed so he can know what you’re up to

Will try and distract you from getting into your car (doesn’t work and if it does it’s rare)

And since you know how stressed he gets about you driving, and since you don’t want to stress him out further

You’ll usually just walk

If you break something he’ll probably clean it up for you or help fix it

If it was something important, he probably was sure to keep it on him so that there’s less of a chance of you breaking it

If you do break something important, he’d definitely be frustrated but not mad per say

And you can tell

He just sighs and quietly grumbles whilst trying his best to fix it

Would not give you the chance to fix it at all and is scared you’ll break it further

In the end he let’s it go because he knows you can’t help it

Even though you stress him out sometimes he still loves you (I love my hubby wubby)

Douxie

Finds it partially amusing that you bump into poles and walls

But if you fall over or are actually hurt by it then that’s where the hilarity of it ends

At first he thought you just had bad luck or something, but he checked and you didn’t

So you explain you were just really clumsy…and partially hazardous 💀💀

Pulls you out the way if there’s a pole up ahead or just warns you before you hit the pole and or wall

Usually catches you if you fall and if HE doesn’t then he was probably just using his magic

Sometimes if he’s in a particular mood he’ll let you fall, but he’ll make sure that you don’t get hurt (but still 💀💀)

Doesn’t trust you in the car, so he ‘offers’ to drive for you

If you do drive……naur 💀💀

He’s getting out

And throws shade at you while doing so (lightheartedly of course)

He doesn’t let you cook either, he doesn’t have the insurance for an apartment fire (💀💀💀💀 I’m sorry, no like I’m actually sorry that’s funny and it shouldn’t be)

So instead of supervising he’s the one doing the cooking

But usually gets take out so there’s less of a chance

He barely trusts you the toaster

The amount of times you’ve broken something is beyond me 😭😭

If you break something, he’ll help you clean it, or offer too at least

He knows you’re an adult and you can handle it yourself but he doesn’t want you to be hurt

Especially if it’s broken glass

If you break something of importance

Tbh idek what his reaction is

Believe it or not

He’s only a little frustrated, if at all

He’s more so exasperated if anything

When he sees it broken he’s just like “oh……here give it to me I’ll fix it”

🧍🏾‍♀️like bro ur not mad??

If you’re insistent on fixing it (which you are) then he’ll let you

He does appreciate it though

Like a lot

Steve the Palchuk

Probably made fun of you and laughed at you whenever you fell when he first met you

Then was kinda scared of you cause Eli told him you were bad luck

But now he doesn’t

He’s still somewhat amused

Just no longer out right making fun of you

He does help you up when you fall

“Hey, watch where you’re going, I don’t want you getting hurt..”

Yes pookie

Anyways, Steven usually tries to catch you

But he’s also a bit clumsy so you both end up falling down 😭😭

He is definitely one to warn you, not just when there’s poles in front of you but around you as well

Will sometimes pull you out of the way closer to him to look…heroic??? (Steve come on-)

Doesn’t let you drive his Vespa

And if you have a car of your own

😅 nah man-

“Oh please fuck that car, get on my Vespa” 💀💀💀

Doesn’t understand how tf you burn things

How???? Especially if you were watching it the whole time

As much as he wants to protect you but still

He’s scared to come over when you cook

Especially if it’s over the stove

If you break something he usually offers to help fix it or pay for it

Even if he doesn’t have the money for it (aww Steve 🥲)

If you break something important

He won’t be mad more frustrated

And if it has anything to do with the sake of Arcadia then he’s scared screaming and running around like a little girl

So you have to calm him down and apologize

You and him do try to fix it so he’s feeling a lot better

But still he’s nervous, are you just clumsy or bad luck???

Was Eli right???

Nahh someone this sweet could never be bad luck

Aja

She’s never met a human this….

Clumsy??? Is that the word

Doesn’t understand why you’re bumping into poles, “they’re in front of you how did you not see them…?”

Same with walls, you’ve had to have seen it….are you blind

When you trip, she’ll giggle a little bit but she’ll help you up

She thinks you’re so silly

The amount of times you’ve broken your own projects and assignments is astonishing to her

Has watched you burn things without literally trying

And is just like 🧍🏼‍♀️”how did you do that??? Show me!!” (💀💀)

Watches you when you’re cooking

After a while connects the dots, your forbidden from the kitchen (unless it’s to eat)

If you’ve got a car

She won’t stop you from driving it

But is still worried

If you get into an accident then she probably wouldn’t let you drive it for a while after that

If you break something, she’ll offer to fix it

If it’s tech she’ll take it to krel to fix and probably improve :)

If it’s something important

Tbh I don’t see her being mad about that seeing that you didn’t do it on purpose

“I told you to be careful!!…….now look…..”

“Sorry I’m just frustrated….”

But the thing is she doesn’t look or seem frustrated

She looks more worried and sad if anything

She appreciates that you offered to fix it

Dw it’s not that she doesn’t trust you or thinks you’ll break it

It’s just that whatever it was probably wasn’t something you could fix

So now she keeps important stuff in a certain place that you can’t reach, or would have a hard time try at least

But she loves you even if you are a clumsy silly little human (I nominate Aja to be my girlfriend)

Krel

Now this…….I’ve been waiting for this (I’m literally obsessed with this boy I love him sm)

Is also confused as to why are you are bumping into walls

“Ay yi yi yi…….are you a soolian??….it was right there…you saw it coming!!!”

Eli also told krel you were bad luck 🧍🏾‍♀️

Which krel, boy genius, obviously didn’t believe

I don’t see him pulling you out of the way when there’s a pole or a wall, I don’t really see him warning you much either 💀💀

On a good day he probably would

If it were something that could hurt you or worse would probably do both

“Be careful!!! And watch where you’re going, my love you know I can’t stand to see you hurt” 😍😍😍

Krel >>>>>>>>

Anyways

Probably laughs when you fall, but helps you up)

Except when you’re hurt, then he probably feels bad and helps you up

Is actually scared FOR you

Like constantly

Bro is going through enough he don’t need this 💀

The fires, possible car accidents

💀💀he’s horrified

If you’ve got a car or something

Not anymore

He’s not letting you get in that

Literally forbids you

“As king in waiting of akiridion 5, I hereby forbid you from going in that death machine”

“Krel…….this is earth….now get out of my way I’m going to the mall-“

Probably had luug piss on your tires (making them pop, or melt…..probably-)💀💀💀

Either way you’re not getting in that car

Now the burning…..

Naur-

If it’s in chemistry class

He’s probably yelling and screaming along with everyone else😭😭

If it’s because you were cooking

Nope

He gives you a blank bot so that you never have to cook again!!! 😃

And if that’s not good enough for you then sure go ahead burn your house down 💀💀💀

He’s just trying to protect you

If you break something it kinda scares him or makes him nervous

Not too sure why

He does offer to help you clean it up

Or more likely fix and improve it in any way he can

Or he’ll use parts of it (for god knows what)

If you broke something important he probably kept it away from you anyways (sorry y/n)

If you did manage to break something important

He’d be frustrated definitely

But not mad seeing as you didn’t do it on purpose

“I keep telling you to be careful!! Why don’t you listen!!! Ugh….great now I have to fix it”

That and other things pretty hurtful things in all honesty are things he says in the heat of the moment

After a while he calms down

He knows you can’t control it so what’s the point in yelling at you for it, you apologized and tried to help what’s the point in being upset

He does think you’re adorable and loves you, but when breaking his inventions….it hard to think so (no he still thinks you’re adorable)

Eli

Couldn’t add a gif for him so anyways but yea 😔

Like I said before

Bro is horrified of you

You must be bad luck or something

After a month or two of watching you…(wtf Eli not again)

He realizes that he might be wrong

None of your friends ever got hurt, just you

He’s thinking about investigating you

Which he does

You just explain to him that you’re a little bit clumsy

“Yea…., a little clumsy….”

C’mon you fell over the railing that’s not clumsy mf 🙄/j

He genuinely thinks you’ve been cursed but what’s the point in telling you that, you have enough going on

You almost burned your house down for gods sake you don’t need anything else rn

Tries to warn you if there’s a pole or a wall(the majority of the time you don’t hear him)

At this point he just feels bad for you…

If you trip he’ll try to catch you but ends up falling down with you

Won’t laugh if you fall, he’ll just help you up and tell you to be careful (even though he knows damn well you can’t 💀💀)

Like I said before Eli….thought you were cursed

So when a fire breaks out and you’re the cause

He starts freaking out

He does know now that you aren’t….or might not be

But the possibility is still there…..(I’m Eli’s eyes at least)

Honestly he’s really scared for you

Like shaking in his boots scared

And gets extra scared when you don’t respond to his texts he keeps thinking something happened

Eli is definitely a bit paranoid as always

Honestly if you break anything he’d probably just let you clean it or if it were too big of a mess he’d probably helped

If it was important he probably fixes it or at least tries

It’s not that he doesn’t trust you

It’s just that he doesn’t trust whatever the fuck type of borderline hazardous shit is gonna happen yet

Especially if it’s an item that could be considered a weapon

Eli doesn’t even have to worry about you crashing your car

You wanna know why??

CUZ THIS ASSHOLE RATTED YOU OUT 💀💀

He told your parent(s) about the time you snuck out (to go see him 💀) and that you had basically crashed your car on the way back

Needless to say you no longer have car keys

You and Eli ended out getting into a big fight later about it

But more on that later 💪🐺🐺

Yea he loves you obviously

Even if he does think your cursed

But that’s not gonna stop him from loving you

(Sorry this was short I had to finish it quick tho)

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itstivan · 1 month

Text

I gotta say it.. yell at me all you want but truth hurts…

If Aiden and Ashlyn didn’t have as much chemistry with each other.. yall would’ve shipped Ashler/Tylyn..

For some odd reason a lot of sbg fans absolutely hate taylyn and I have no clue why.. I think people are just afraid of sapphics /j

But anyways, if Aiden wasn’t in the equation yall would ship Tyler and Ashlyn because 1. they’re a mlw ship and most people prefer hetero ships and 2. enemies/rivals to lovers.

People eat this trope up. And anyone who says they don’t is a liar.

Tyler and Ashlyn have SO much tension that you can’t help but ship them. People are always saying “they fight all the time and hate each other! They’re so toxic!” Mf you ship bakudeku you cannot be talking. (for the record your honor, that’s a joke.)

But in all seriousness..

Have you SEEN the shift in their relationship from the start to present? They go from bickering and hesitant with each other, to being close friends that care for each other.

LIKE HELLO?? Do you see how worried Ashlyn is? (Granted anyone would be worried to see their friend bleeding) But Tyler replies to Ashlyn saying he would want some words of encouragement FROM HER. You know.. LIKE THE TIME SHE WAS SAVING HIM FROM THE TREE??

Ashler is a CLASSIC enemies/rivals to lovers. Plus who doesn’t bicker with their partner from time to time over silly things?

One of the sole reasons Tyler freaked out at Ashlyn is because of anxiety and their whole situation. Who wouldn’t go crazy in a situation like that? But instead of expressing it in a healthy way, he took it out on Ashlyn because he couldn’t think of anything else. And yeah that’s shitty, but he learns his lesson.

Tyler has made so much progress and his character redemption was BEAUTIFUL. You have to remember, he’s just a 14 year old kid in his freshman year of high school, who wouldn’t be scared shitless? He wanted to make sure his sister was safe and didn’t know what to do.

Ashlyn puts him in his place though, and I think that’s where he starts to change for the better.

But you can see the gradual changes in their relationship as the comic progresses, going from tense to comfortable being near each other. FP SPOILERS: i mean hello they literally cuddle with each other in ep 75.

And don’t get me wrong, I can see why some people would be a little iffy, but the same people who are iffy are the same people who ship the most WILD ships..

So if you’re gonna hate on me for shipping something other than your main ship.. PACK IT UP 🗣️

But fr though, if Red didn’t unintentionally write so much chemistry with Aiden and Ashlyn, and you didn’t prefer taylyn, you would 100% ship Ashler. There’s this one blog on here that gives perfect reasons as to why you should ship Ashler as well and they say it PERFECTLY.

It’s insanity it took some of yall this long to finally start shipping them, as a person who’s been shipping them since the beginning of 2023 😭😭

anyways i’m super happy people are shipping ashler and YOU SHOULD TOO!!! /nf

#school bus graveyard #sbg #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg ashlyn #sbg tyler #sbg ashler #ashler #sbg ashlyn x tyler #i love them #your honor they’re canon /j #HEHEHHEHEHE #IM SO SANE ABOUT THEM #proud to say i was the first ashler edit on tt #ship them or else /j

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virq-qgo · 2 years

Text

Listen before I go// Simon (Ghost) Riley

Reader kinda sounds like a wattpad (y/n)- listen I tried to make the reader not sound so stupid but- y’all I’m flabbergasted from how wattpadish this sounds 😭

Pt.2

Warnings: ooc ghost, reader kins (y/n) wattpad. Reader is referred as “you” but use’s she/her pronouns, angst, my writing, character death? Violence, love confessions? Oh, and no editing :))) 🫶❤️

Angst below the cut

“I’m in love with you.” Who knew those five words could’ve brought you so much pain. You were so sure that Simon had returned those same exact feelings. Or why else would he be so kind and heartwarming to you yet stone cold to anyone else.

A trickle of blood escapes your lip as you chuckle. God you hated yourself for confessing to him, otherwise he would’ve still been here and would’ve helped this hidden ambush. But he wasn’t, and you couldn’t take out an army of men all by yourself. But you’ve managed to escape, with a few bullet wounds to say to the least.

And now you were here, sitting against a gratified broke wall bleeding to death. Remembering that you had previously turned off your intercom, you turn it back on. You hear your name being called countless of times, asking for your whereabouts or your status. But with your head being so fuzzy, you don’t know if you talk even if you tried.

“She’s fine guys, I was with her last.” You hear ghosts voice through the little radio. Both of your definitions of fine were different, his was if you got shot you’ll be fine, just a little wound. But yours, well you weren’t really sure. It was more than a gunshot wound, that was for sure.

“What is your status? We’re going to be heading back on the plane shortly.” Prices asks, you can tell he was getting a little impatient.

You cough, more blood running down your dry lips. “Don’t think I’ll make it this flight. Can I catch it later?”

“What are you talking about?” It was now soap talking. “Where are you? We’ll come to find you.”

The line goes silent before you hears ghosts voice once more, this time in more of a panic.

“There’s blood everywhere. Hopefully it’s from these men you’ve slaughter (name).”

“Yeah, you could say that. Say, Simon you wanna make me a promise?”

“A promise?” He seems confused, you noted.

“Don’t blame yourself okay?”

He stays silent, almost hesitant for his next choice of words. It was almost as if he didn’t believe you. “What’s your surroundings?”

“You’re not going to make it in time Simon. It’ll be too late by then.”

“What is she talking about Ghost?” Price asks. To be honest, you totally forgot all about the other four.

But Simon doesn’t respond. His hearts racing, there was too much blood, too many footsteps to even count. And your empty gun.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ghost hisses, “I’ve could’ve help you!”

You flinch at how loud he was. Who knew that a little radio could pick up the sound of anger in a persons voice. “Could you not bitch at me, I don’t need it right now.”

“When I find you it’s going to be more than being bitched at, (code name).”

Ouch, he must be pissed off if he was bringing out your code name. A sigh leaves your lips as you bring you hand to your face, wiping off the blood the kept dripping from your lip. He wasn’t going to find you in time, it wasn’t like you cared. It was going to save you from the future embarrassment of him seeing you in such a weak state and right after you confessed to him.

“Again, that is if you make it in time.”

Simon growls, “can you stop fucking saying that like you’re going to die?”

“You never know, I’ve been out here for awhile now. Never know if some animal is going to eat me for dinner.”

“Well aren’t you in luck, don’t think you’d be a subtle appetite to them.”

“Fucking hell,” you mumble. Your eyes were drooping from all of the blood that you loss. You were dying and you could really feel it now. “I’m by an old building. Not far from where you’re at, just keep going straight until you find a broken down wall with graffiti covering it.”

Simons end of the line was silent, but you assumed so. He was going to try to search for you all by himself because that’s what he does. If it didn’t hurt to chuckle, you would have. Cause it certainly didn’t take him too long to find you. You see the all to well know mask running towards you.

“Hey Simon,” you barely speak into the speaker, “I meant every word I’ve said.” Your hand falls to your side and your eyes roll back. You’ve done your best trying to keep your body going, but every has their weaknesses. Just as your eyes droop shut, Simon screams out your name.

There weren’t any moments where Simon feared life anymore. He lived through all terrifying moments of his life but nothing compared seeing your weak unconscious body. Simon could only run faster, hoping that he could beat death itself.

The man couldn’t afford to loose you, especially when he has something to confess too. God, his self hatred only grew when he turned you down harshly. Truth was, he was just scared. Scared that this was all of some sick joke one of the boys dared you to do. Scared that if he confessed right back, you’d laugh straight in his face and tell him you’d never feel the same way. But now that it hits him, you would never do that. You were too kind, and would never hurt him even if that meant hurting yourself.

“C’mon.” He whispers, his hands are on your shoulders. But when Simon pulls back to examine your body he wanted to puke. There was so much blood, he wondered how you could’ve even possibly walked a far or a distance and stayed on the line while waiting for him.

“Get the plane here now!” Simon yells into the radio, “I found (code name) but she’s unconscious!”

“Rodger that.” A voice responds, Simon doesn’t know who’s it is was but he frankly doesn’t care. He wanted you to wake up so he can tell you that he loves you. So he could tell you that he didn’t hate you, he was just lying.

After what felt like hours of requesting for the plane it finally came. Simon carefully lifted you up into his arms and boarded the plane. He ignored the worried looks of his teammates and gently laid you down on the cot so the medic’s could immediately get to work. Soap placed a hand on the man's shoulder and attempted to pull him away from the scene.

“Ghost,” Soap called out, his grip was getting a little tighter. “Come on, let them have their space.”

But Simon didn’t respond, he was stiffer than a board. He feared that if he were to leave you behind once again, you wouldn’t make it.

“You’ll get to see her once they save her, okay?”

“What if they don’t?”

Soap stays silent, watching over the girl too. His hand still on Simon’s shoulder. “Give her hope, it takes more than a few gunshot wounds to take her down. Just give’er a few days and she’ll be back up and bouncing.”

“I hope you’re right.”

#angst #hurt/comfort #cod mwii #mwii #mondern warefar 2 #mw2 imagine #mw2 #ghost mw2 #cod ghost x reader #cod imagine #simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #call of duty #task force 141 #ghost x reader #fluff

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slasherwife · 1 year

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Hiii :)

I was wondering if I could request the slashers reaction to their S/O being insecure about their freckles? Their face is covered with different shades and some even overlapping of freckles. They have even tried covering them up with foundation but they always seem to show through. Thank you! :D

yes my dove!! i’m really sorry abt the long wait i hope this is good 🥲🌷

Slashers with an S/O with freckles

summary you the beautiful y/n have been blessed with gorgeous freckles, like raindrops on your ethereal skin 💞 your slasher husband finds them so angelic on you, but sadly you disagree, and try to cover them up!! slasher husband not happy :(🥺🌷

warnings female pronouns!

thomas

sweet creature, your freckles are what his dreams are made of. he wishes to kiss each one so that their wearer might know how deeply he loves her. he connects them like constellations when you guys are together and you don’t notice. he sees and names each one because ever freckled star is so unique from the last. he adores and worships your freckles to say the least💞🌷

thomas loves deeply with a tender passion, every bit of you. and your freckles are what give you the most character, they are what captivated him when he first saw you. sun shining behind your head like a halo, a soft smile and those gentle freckles layered onto your ethereal face and shoulders, he thought he had strayed into a dream😖💞

it would absolutely break him, if he knew you were trying to hide them out of shame. thomas knows very well the pain of low self esteem, thomas self mutilated his own face because of how much he hated how he looked💔 he would never in a trillion years want you to go through that same kind of pain, even if you were only using makeup to cover them up. 😣🪷

he would go to his knees once he knew what was happening, holding your hands and begging you to stop what you were doing. while your hands were in his comically large ones, you would see his eyes holding the utmost sadness in them, almost making you tear up unexpectedly😣💕 “don’t cover up, please my y/n.” he spoke, which was an extremely rare occurrence.

jason

he could never miss your absolutely ethereal freckled stars. jason isn’t one to really pay attention to physical attributes, but with you, it was different. you were an angel. sent straight from heaven to be with him. to say he wasn’t utterly captivated by your outer beauty as much as your inner beauty, was an understatement😣💕🪷

he’d be the one to want to trace your freckles, but be too afraid to hurt you. jason is an extremely gentle being when he wants to be, but he overthinks very much and can’t trust himself around you as a result :( 💕😭. until he’s comfortably enough and you help him through, he will fantasize about your soft supply skin under the decrepit pads of his fingers, and count the stars on your skin from a healthy distance💞😣

he instantly wants to know who made you want to cover up your freckles. the stars on your skin are gifts of the divine, who on earth would be so jealous and malicious as to make you think otherwise? jason would like to take it up with them for making his angel goddess feel like this. no one would make it out alive🥺💞

you say the girls in the magazine don’t have freckles, which is why you wanted to cover your up. jason is livid about the disgusting vermin showing off their bodies in the magazine, and hates how he cannot hurt them for hurting you😣💕 he can tell his anger isn’t helping anyone, so he just lets you crawl into his arms while he wills himself as careful as possible to graze his knuckles softly against your cheek, admiring all the pretty dots on your angelic skin. his gaze was enough to show that if the outer world didn’t like your freckles, jason lives for them🥹💞💕

michael

again like jason, michael doesn’t really pay attention to physical attributes at all. he might when he’s aroused and steals a good playboy magazine. but when he met you, things turned around. he found you beautiful. pretty. captivating. he’s only felt aroused by some women, but he’s never felt that way about a person. he loves you, in his own toxic way, maybe. he sees you as his mate, his parter, who he found because of fate and circumstance. you’re his partner who he would absolutely burn down the world for, maim and kill, do anything for🥹💗

it’s hard to see into michael’s mind, but i believe he thinks it was your freckles that first made him feel that you were beautiful. he thought your freckles made you pretty. he thought you were beautiful, because of them. and to think you’d try to cover them up almost feels like he’s being denied some of the most beautiful things about you, and he feels betrayed as your lover.

he catches you in the act, sitting on the floor in front of a mirror, smearing makeup onto them. he grabs your wrist before you could make another steak down your cheek, and you look up to michael heavy breathing against his mask, staring down at you. he is confused to say the least, but in a way too, he understands why you are doing it. he tries to go down to your level, sitting on his knees while he uses his sleeve to wipe the makeup from your face, wanting to see you beautiful constellations that he loves so deeply😖💞💕

brahms

to begin, brahms being the hot adult child he is, will throw a tantrum once he finds you messed up your face. your face is for him y/n!! don’t go covering up things that shouldn’t be covered up 😣💕 it throws him off, shows him there’s a change in his usual schedule and he doesn’t like it. plus his baby’s freckles are his favorite thing ever! he can’t count them when they’re all covered up my love😇💞

when he first ever saw you, he nearly collapsed. you were the most beautiful creature he ever saw or could dream up, ever. he loves every part about you. you are his dream come true. and to think you would want him!! he will die happy because of this my darling🌷💕 please don’t cover up something to precious to him!!🥺

he will be angry and throw a fit. gosh y/n you’re making him fix this now? well since you’re so cute he’ll let it slide, just sit still. he gets a clean wash rag and begins wiping away the makeup. nope!! don’t move, not til he’s done😇💞once your tears have dried and he deems you back to your beautiful gorgeous natural self he adores, he will kiss the tip of your nose and pinch your cheeks. hell then giggle and provoke you to chase him through the house in a game of hide and seek 🥺💞

bo is really the only one who’s genuinely confused as to what motivates you to cover up your freckles. he understands the purpose of makeup (to an extent😀), but your freckles are a normal occurrence in your skin, why would you want to essentially delete them from yourself? he will blushingly admit that they make you look pretty anyway 🥺💕you’d have to explain why you are doing this to him 😭 he doesn’t not have the brain capacity to understand why you are covering up your gorgeous freckles.

bo had always not so secretly thought your freckles were so g-d damn cute, and seeing them crease with every smile and laugh you let out, and the ones on your forehead fold when you were surprised or focused, he was made so in love with you it was hard to contain. he believed g-d had taken extra time working on you, for sure. 🌷😭💕

he caught site of your face when he was waiting to go to the bathroom and you were finishing up your makeup. when you went past him, he did a double take, “sweet cheeks? come back here now.” he said, grabbing your sweet face in both his palms examining your newly painted face. “the hell happened to all your dots?” he laughed, searching your eyes for an explanation🥺💕

you explain it to him, and he clicks his tongue in disapproval. he doesn’t really know what to say, though he thinks he should tell you something reassuring about your new apparent insecurity, but he’s not very good at comforting people🥲💕 he only asks that you go back and take the makeup off, without sounding demanding, asking gently, which is rare for bo. “why don’t cha take it off for me angel, yeah? you’re just so pretty when i can see all of you.”

vincent

let this man comb his eyes through every part of your face in amazement and shock at your beauty, please gf it’s all he wants to do. vincent has a very keen eye for beauty so the fact that he chose you should be a clear message that you are the most ethereal being ever crossed paths with him🥹💞 vincent more than anyone, worships your freckles. you are just so unique and angelic and perfect. you are his forever muse and he’s absolutely obsessed with you 💗

when i say that thomas begged you not to cover up your freckles, vincent absolutely beseeches you to not cover them up and to let them show. they are just so beautiful on you y/n, my queen goddess y/n, let me stare at you forever😣🌷 vincent just sighs in affection for you whenever he sees your ethereal face with your delightful freckles layering and spotting like rain drops onto your skin. he just simply loves you y/n.

please don’t even try to cover them up my dear, vincent will feel like he’s been betrayed in a way. don’t you ever listen to him y/n? vincent always knows best. your freckles are a beauty unsurpassed about you my darling flower. 💞🌷and that’s fact. if you do, he will so everything in his power to try to convey that your freckles are a blessing and that they shine like stars. he loves them so much and begs you let them show. he only does this, because you are hiding them out of insecurity. he hates this and wants you to proudly show them🥹🌷

regardless of if you listen to him or not, he will want to show you some extra love. he will gently coax you to a peaceful sleep in his arms, stroking your hair with the utmost gentleness and calmness that you fall asleep within minutes🥹🌷 he just wants you to feel safe

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luffyvace · 2 months

Note

AAAAAAA I WANNA GIVE YOU A BIG PLATONIC SMOOCH I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH

ok ok recently I have been infected with eustass kid and was hoping you could write for him with a male reader nothing specific I feel like he would be so angry if his testosterone filled crew made fun of him for it. Love your work ❤️

AWWW THATS SO SWEET OF YOU DEAR! 💗

PLATONIC KISSES 😚😚

thank you so much!! I’d love to write for you but I simply don’t know much about kid!! I’m on the marineford arc- 😭😭 I usually turn down characters I don’t know much about him but you seem like such a sweetie! After having done some research..Here ya go!~

As stated I’ve chosen to research as much as possible in fandom and other’s headcanons! This may not be the most accurate but I sincerely hope your satisfied with my attempt dearest!~

I feel Kid would think of food as a sort of affection

so technically gift giving??

but it’s like his love language is food

his favorite is cabbage rolls right?? Welllll he loves to eat them together!

not…together together

he buys it for y’all separately

I doubt he’d want to share his favorite food 😭

if you beg for his in a case where he didn’t get you some...

“what?! No! This is my food get your own!….ugggghh FINE! You get a half! This was supposed to be for me”

(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

I also feel he’d be better off witth someone who’s either all for his rambunctiousness or (somehow) able to calm him down (like killer)

if your just as reckless as him great! Your adventures are now considered dates :)

not necessarily, but he’s fond of them as if they are

he’s always recalling on past times you’ve fought together

you know how people say someone you’ve fought a war with knows you better than a friend?

yeah, I feel like that’s why he has such high respects for his crew

And of course because they’re his crew

so yeah he feels closer to you every time you fight together

if you want you can listen to the song ‘one thing’ by amerie- the lyrics remind me of him idk why (keep in mind I don’t know this guy well :3)

kid would allow you to ride on his shoulders

you could just kinda hop up there casually and he won’t say anything

privileges

but I feel like if he’s in a foul mood or busy he’d grab you buy the waist and sit you down somewhere LOL

another way to spend time with him would be to do your make up at the same time (if you wear it)

(love that it’s casual for men to wear make up in one piece)

he seems like he would be anal about his so you’d be doing your own and he does his, but it’s still fun to do it together

he’s kinda like that with most things

which now that I realize it that could count as quality time

so the conclusion I’ve come to?

his love languages are gift giving or quality time

but thinking about it now I feel he may also do acts of service

now this isn’t as intentional

he just takes pride in likes to help you with things he knows he could do better

aw man you broke your ___? Well I’m sure he could fix it! 😼💪

If you initiate physical touch his reaction will range based on where you are/who’s around and how much it is

if there’s barely anyone/no one around and you give him a peck on the cheek? Fine. He’ll just half smile at you

if it’s a public area and your trying to kiss him on the lips? “Cut it out! Don’t get distracted we’re here to (xyz)!”

he can’t display the weakness of not being masculine

besides he hates cute n’ cuddly crap 😒

he’d be so proud if his boyfriend physically strong

It even boosts HIS ego

especially since your his ♥︎

he takes care of you in subtle ways

such as making sure your eating, not over working and getting enough sleep

”hey! I haven’t seen you eat all day! Get in the kitchen and tell killer to make ya’ somethin’!”

”how long have you been at that!? Get up and come over here!”

”what on earth are ya’ still doing awake?! Go to sleep! Captains orders..”

killer occasionally asks how your relationship is going

kid’ll tell em a few things but he tries not to get sentimental

trust that’s a lot more than what he tells other people..”

”screw off! mind your own business..”

this is really random but he seems like the type of guy who’s always grumbling

idk I just had to say it..

would enjoy headrubs (IN PRIVATE)

and it has to be casual, don’t baby him about it :P

”your hairs’ really fluffy/soft” *casual headrubs*

like that

you have to compliment stroke his ego so he won’t get angry then pat him

to be more specific about reader being a male :

Even if you don’t hc kid to be straight (idk what i hc him to be idk em enough)

his ego is HURT when he realizes he’s in love with you

love?! What is such weakness?! such DISEASE?!

the fact that he’s in the lgbtq bc of one guy kinda makes him angry

cuz like now (some) people are gonna categorize or even ridicule him for even liking you

even though he’s angry about it, it’s not for the same reason

he’s upset because he fell weak to love in general

homophobes may be upset because he likes a man

what does it matter?! He sure never cared..

you can tell the first thing this guy sees is NOT gender

it’s—threat? Or no threat?

so ya- essentially what I’m saying is he doesn’t care for gender- except when it comes to homophobes

then he’s angry 🙂☝️

and as for his crew making fun of him?!

oh he’s absolutely livid. 😄💥

”SHADDUP’ YA STINKIN’ MAGGOTS! I AM NOT WEAK!!”

Actually- they didn’t call him weak. That’s just what he hears 😂

btw that is not what he said I censored it bc I headcanon him to have a potty mouth (and I don’t)

his skin and hair is the same color from how angry this dude is

HE’S LITERALLY LIKE ‘😡’

HAHAHAH

He always storms off whenever they bring up his ‘sOft SpOt” for you ��

he’s not even soft really he just goes out of his way to do stuff for/with you

its not they’re business anyway?!

right killer?!

while I was researching I saw that the flower he resembles is a tulip! That’s my favorite flower!! 🌷♥︎♡

Enjoy! I did my best 😅

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