#Not too sure how much to explicitly state since I trust you guys are pretty well behaved anyway haha

[saltymongoose]

Any word on the server?

Yes! I'm currently setting up Dyno to work properly, writing a rules list and a sort of "introductory form" for y'all to use to get roles assigned/have full server access (just for verification mainly). The framework for the server is pretty much done, so it's just in its final stages right now. It'll probably get some tweaking once it opens up, but that's to be expected with any long-lasting server haha.

#writing the rules is actually surprisingly difficult #Not too sure how much to explicitly state since I trust you guys are pretty well behaved anyway haha #ask #chat tag #i ❤️ anons

[1990jeevas]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

#shit self #asks #the get down #mylene cruz #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #long post #analysis #info dump #idk if anon has seen tgd or is just being nice so i tried givinh background to things #kinz #bangerz #discourse

[masterweaverx]

So I’d like to open this by saying I’m autistic, and I generally operate on the presumption that I don’t understand anyone--at least, not without some investigation and interaction. Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Recently, I’ve seen posts about an interesting paradox regarding representation; a lot of writers want to include XYZ group, but don’t want to risk doing it ‘wrong.’ Thus characters are Gay/Trans/Bi/Jewish/Islam/Black/Whatever and, yet, this is unimportant. Or we have tokenistic characters where being a member of This Group is their defining and, in fact, only character trait. Either too little, or too much. Or maybe they’re background characters, done right except for the part where they don’t affect the plot.

I think there’s a fundamental misunderstanding of representation is influencing this. We’re thinking of the group as archetype--a statue that is All Defined and we put clothes on it and make it move. But... paradoxical as it seems, being a member of a group is but one of many possible character traits. And the thing about character traits is that they affect a character, and through that influence the plot, but they rarely dominate the plot unless the plot is specifically about that character trait.

To take a fantastical and therefore somewhat obvious example: Blake Belladonna, from the Web Show RWBY, has cat ears. This is A Very Big Deal, because fantasy racism and also because she’s good at hearing things. A big part of the plot is her saying “This is how my cat ears affect me, and how having cat ears affects my parents, and how I’m reacting.” But having cat ears is not her only trait--and in fact, they’re not her defining trait.

Blake enters the series having just escaped a psychologically abusive relationship. That affects how she acts around the strangers that will become her new friends, and how she’s afraid her parents will never love her again. She’s also quite well-read, which gives her an interesting conversation with character Ruby Rose at the start of the series about fairy tales and real life. She has a ninja-like combat skill and a samurai-like sense of honor, so in situations that involve protecting others she never gives up (even if she thinks she herself isn’t worthy of love at the start of the series, see abusive relationship). And she wants to make the world a better place for a number of reasons--she’s been hurt by it, she’s hurt the world herself, and it’s just the right thing to do.

All of this, and a few other factors, combine to affect how she acts and reacts to the plot of the series. When the Fantasy Racism comes up, yes, her cat ears are important--but they don’t just snap out of existence when Yang Xiao Long says “Okay, it’s time for me to talk about my abandonment issues!” or when Cinder Fall says “My bad guy contract says I have to be malevolent now.” Blake’s ears let her hear small details, and her treatment because of them has her cautious about who to trust--very, VERY important things to the plot that, nonetheless, aren’t specifically about Cat Ear Racism.

One big example I can think of is her confrontation with her abusive ex, who at this point has just gone straight up Yandere and is blaming her for everything. The scene is not about her having cat ears--in fact, the cat ears are not at all included in all the false accusations he throws out. But, because she can hear something he doesn’t, she’s able to reposition herself and let her partner join in, dramatically shifting the direction of the scene.

The character trait affects the character’s action, and through that influences the plot. It has weight, but it’s not the only trait the character has. This is true for any character trait, no matter how fantastical or realistic.

May Marigold, from the same series, is a transgender woman. And she’s not just there to say “I need my Estrogen pills!” every four hours, but neither is her being transgender just a Neat Factoid You Find In The Manual. It influences her character--pretty clearly in one scene, where she outright states her biological relatives are no longer family--but it doesn’t mean she’s just The Trans Character. And, actually, let’s take her big speech as an example of what I mean.

Weiss: People are dying here, too. Don’t you have family in Atlas?

May: No. Mantle needed me, and to the Marigolds, that meant I wasn’t their son anymore. And I made sure that everyone knew that I wasn’t their daughter. So forget ‘em. They’ve got Henry, yours have Whitley. You get what I’m saying.

Weiss: I don’t know about-

May angrily turns to face Weiss.

May: Which side are you on, anyway?

Blake: We’ve heard that before.

May steps toward Blake to confront her, but Ruby chimes in.

Ruby: There are no sides! We want to help everyone. We’re all facing Salem together. And together is the only way we’re going to get out of it.

May: (sighs) So, how exactly do we get out of it?

As the group ponders their situation, Whitley Schnee can be seen in the hallway eavesdropping on the conversation.

The point of this scene isn’t “May is trans.” It’s that she had a very bad relationship with her biological relatives, to the point where they don’t consider each other family--and that as a result of that, she associated Atlas with all that’s wrong with the world and thinks Weiss should too, since Weiss ostensibly has a similar background. Her being transgender very clearly influences her speech, but it’s not the driving aspect of the plot. In fact, Whitley overhearing this and being compared to Henry (previously established as pretty shallow and horrible) directly causes him to affect the plot by becoming as helpful as he can. This is entirely unrelated to her being transgender, and much more related to her biological relatives being horrible people.

May is, in fact, somewhat in the wrong here--but it’s in character for her to be in the wrong, as she’s basing her choices off her own experiences. That said, she’s also got a sort of ‘cool anger’ in her speech--she’s used to people not getting why she’d be insulted (since not many people would instantly get transgenderism) and so keeps her tone calm even when she’s glaring at Weiss. It’s not until Weiss begins to directly contradict her that she snaps--again, another factor of transgender life is too many people saying ‘You sure? You could be wrong.’ This is all behavior that makes sense for a transgender person, considering their likely experiences, but applied to a subject that is not explicitly about transgenderism--in this case, whether Atlas or Mantle is more important to save from big bad Salem.

Character traits affect the characters, and through them influence the plot. But the character is never just one trait, and the plot is rarely about just one thing. May is an excellent character--she’s snarky, but willing to guide the youngsters, loyal to those who care about others, encouraging and realistic, very much a person who got saddled with too much responsibility in way too short a time and is trying her best. And she’s transgender, and that affects how she acts, both when she’s being great and when she’s slipping up.

If you want to write representation, don’t write The Whatever Character. Write a character that happens to be whatever.

#Representation #Analysis #I'm willing to admit I might be wrong on this #Like I said I don't understand people naturally #I'm just going from my experiences as a writer. #Also I'm not sure if my point is coming across?

[sunflowerheartsandstarryskies]

The Devil and the Mermaid - Chapter Two

(a Lucifer x Mermaid!Reader) 

Word Count: 1.5k

Prev Chapter  |  Next Chapter

Author’s Note: The inspiration here came from a dream of mine, also one of my favorite shows “The Legend of the Blue Sea” has some heavy inspiration in here as well. Thank you so much for the support in the first part! I will also create a tag list for this story since I saw someone interested in that. Again I love reading your guys’ comments and if you want to be part of a tag list for this series please let me know :)

Tagged: @magnet-girl

________________________________________________________________

“Then what are you then?” Lucifer asked, confused.

You took a big deep breath and said, “Humans call my species mermaids. We’ve lived in these oceans for thousands of years.”

Lucifer took a step back and looked quite perplexed as he muttered, “A mermaid? I didn’t know dad created those.” He looked in your eyes as he asked, “Is that why you were in the ocean just a while ago? How did you get legs then?”

You looked down at your feet and wiggled your toes experimentally. You replied, “Well, I am still not sure myself but there’s a saying in my clan, ‘The moon pulls you towards your destiny.’ There’s only a handful of mermaids that ever really turn human and that’s because the mermaid falls in love with a human the moon will grant them their legs, but the human must be in love with the mermaid or they either die or have to go back in the ocean.”

“What do you think it is?” Lucifer asked as he moved back to be a few inches away from you.

“I think it’s you. I heard your voice and it was the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. The moon heard my wish of wanting to be close to you and transformed my tail into legs,” you answered honestly.

“You think you’re in love with me?” Lucifer questioned and he emphasized the “me” with him gesturing to himself.

You tugged on your sleeves nervously and stated, “I don’t know, but I want to know. A mermaid doesn’t trust explicitly unless she knows for certain the human’s heart is true, and for some reason, you make it so easy to want to trust you with everything.”

“Oh, love, listen I don’t think you want to do that with me. Find someone else. Someone more human,” he replied earnestly.

“Why? I fell in love once I heard your voice, and I would like to have my mind catch up with my heart. Please don’t throw me back in the water, I want to see this new world, let me do it with you, please,” you babbled clutching on his jacket sleeves.

“Then I should confess something to you, I’m not human either,” Lucifer breathed. “Are you a mermaid too?” you asked a little excitedly.

“Well not quite, I’m the Devil,” Lucifer stated.

You scrunched up your nose and furrowed your brows in confusion as you asked, “What’s a devil? I’ve never heard of that before.”

“It means I’m someone really really bad. Someone that you shouldn’t trust. You deserve a good person, someone with that true heart you’re looking for. I’m a monster, little mermaid. I don’t want to show you my true self, because I don’t want to scare you away. I feel like my father brought you to me as if he is mocking me and he’s going to pull you away if I get too close.”

“I don’t understand, is your father the moon? The moon and the stars are what us mermaids live and love by, so who is your father to push me away or towards you, if he doesn’t even control the tides. If your true face is what makes you so scared, can you trust me with it? Like I trust you with myself?”

________________________________________________________________

Lucifer wouldn’t admit this to anyone, but you made him feel so safe without even trying, he didn’t know his father created mermaids until he met you. He wanted to let his guard down with you, you looked at him and didn’t see a disgrace or an outcast, for Father’s sake, you didn’t even know who He was or what the Devil is. So, it was his turn to drop his shields and show his true self to you. ‘What an odd way to end this day’, he thought to himself.

“I can show you my wings to show that I am not human, but I can’t show you my devil face not now anyway,” Lucifer said. He took a deep breath and allowed his wings to stretch out from him, he opened up his eyes, which he didn’t realize he closed, to see you look at him as if he was something beautiful, something worthy to look at.

“They’re so pretty, how can someone with such pretty wings be so bad as you say?” you ask with a tilt of your head.

He let out a huff of a laugh and put his wings back into his back as he settled his hands on your arms as he spoke, “Well I guess you convinced me then, let me take you back to my place. Fair warning, it’s not a typical place for humans to live in, but I like my home.”

“Well, it’s a good thing neither of us is human then, huh?” You asked and he gave a small grin at that as you felt him put his hand at the small of your back.

He started gently guiding you to where he had his car parked, he was a little excited and very worried about having someone who was so willing to love and had such a powerful feeling that he needed to protect you. He never felt this way with Chloe Decker, with her it was more out of curiosity for the job and the odd experiences that she seems to bring with it.

As he was driving he managed to steal looks at you, and you looked breathtaking to him. He has never seen another being look as radiant as you do with so little effort, wearing nothing but his robe and your wet hair still framing your face. On anyone else that look would be a hangover outfit but with you, he feels himself already feeling more human with you, it was invigorating.

________________________________________________________________

When you reached the entrance of Lux, you were already entranced with the human world with so many iridescent lights, large buildings, bright colors, and so many sounds. So, when you reached this new building you realized it was a gathering place for other humans and there was very loud music coming out of the place. Lucifer had an interaction with a man that opened the entrance for the two of you, and instead of your back his hand grabbed yours and you realized how nice it was.

A woman stopped the two of you when he tried to go into an elevator, she barked, “Look who decided to show up after that little party gig, you were supposed to be back two hours ago. Is this the bitch-”

“Don’t call her that, especially since you’ll be seeing more of her soon. Keep your mouth shut, I like you Maze and I respect you to a degree so I’ll drop it. See you in the morning,” he glared. His eyes flashed red as he took a step to the woman while making sure to keep you behind him when he was talking to her. He looked back to you and instantly his eyes softened at you, and he led you to the elevator.

Once you reached his room you did a little spin as you took in everything that you were seeing. Lucifer was observing you and then said, “I’m sorry about that down there, that was Maze, I didn’t how she would react to me being late back, I didn’t her to say harsh words to you.”

“Does she not like me? I haven’t met her before, I don’t think anyway,” you asked very confusedly.

Lucifer ran a hand through his hair and just shook his head and pointed towards his bedroom as he said, “Well, let’s get ready to sleep then. I’ll find some more clothes for you I think might fit you.”

He came back with a comfy-looking black hoodie and a pair of briefs, as he asked, “I’m guessing you need help with figuring out clothes?”

You gave an embarrassed look at him as you nodded. So, he helped you put on the underwear first then guided you through the complicated web that was a hoodie. As your head went through the head hole of the hoodie, you were an inch away from Lucifer’s face, you blushed and he was staring as you both realized how close the two of you are. You leaned in slightly into his warmth when you felt his brush the side of your face, but then you felt his lips on your forehead.

‘You really are quite cute, darling,” he stated making you blush. He cleared his throat when he continued, “well, let’s get you settled in bed and we’ll discuss what to do next from here. I’m gonna be sleeping on the couch here. Okay?” You gave a nod as he showed his bedroom.

Once you settled into bed you slept with your last thoughts thanking the moon and stars for guiding you to this amazing person, and dreaming of an amazing new world you got whirled in.

#lucifer #Lucifer Morningstar #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer fox imagines #lucifer fox x reader #lucifer netflix #x reader #mermaid reader

[valiantarcher]

This is rather delayed, but I’ve got some thoughts on Waking Rose after my last reread. Below the cut for spoilers and extreme length.

Timeline/Continuity:

Rose says it’s been almost three years since she met Fish - but if she’s 19 now, it should only be two years (it also makes more sense for Blanche and Bear to get married a year after Black as Night rather than two years after).

Back to Steve/Steven Foster (instead of Stephen).

Per Rose, Fish and Bear slept on the Fosters' couch.

Ben was 13 when his mom died, 16 when Father Raymond died.

Little Things Short Comments (mostly):

I love Bear inviting Rose to dance with him and Blanche on the last song - remembering that it started with the three of them.

Kateri is an observant and good friend - I too would probably tell Rose Fish wasn't worth it under the circumstances.

"Your particular brand of exuberance"

Ach, but Rose wants Fish to be happy and he tells her he's "happy enough" (...true for very low values of "happiness") but follows it up with "God's going to take care of me," which IS true.

Rose’s dramatic “I shall have twenty cats...” poetry.

Fish trying to make himself look like someone who doesn't folk dance. 

"What you see in front of you is fighting."

Rose thinking Fish's vocation is to be at the right place at the right time; Ben would probably argue that, but there is an extent it’s true.

We get the charges against Edward (I think this is the first time we learn his first name) Freet: (2) Attempted murder - Rose and Bear, (2) Assault - Rose and Fish (or Bear - it’s unclear), (3) Kidnapping - Fish, Rose, and I’m not sure if the third charge is for his involvement in Blanche’s kidnapping?

“Not that it was going to make much of a difference in the world, but it was good to attempt to bring some justice to this literary question.”

Fish dealing with the nuns is...I’m not sure humourous is the right word for it, but I appreciate his internal “they’re crazy, Father Raymond warned me about Catholics like them” dialogue.

“He had known too many manipulative women to be convinced by tears.” Well, Elaine is the first one to come to mind - no idea who the others are.

I know we get the hints towards the Rumpelstiltskin retelling with Fish (I think his role is the servant?), but I’m torn between going a) YES, GIVE ME MORE and b) no way I want to see Fish suffer even more, as I know he will in that story.

Alex assigning everyone who gets in trouble to read Thomas Aquinas outside.

I love that Kateri and Ben become really good friends - she asks after his health and knows when he’s cooking a Scheme and he keeps an eye out for her and worries after her and bails her out of jail.

“You’ve got to be kidding. I don’t want to be explaining to some bereaved parent or college official why their charge is dead, maimed, or serving a prison sentence because of something I set up.” “Since when were you expendable? Says the older brother who nearly went out of his mind scouring the streets of New York for you when you were kidnapped for three days.”

The idea of a fatal/fundamental doubt is echoed when Ben doubts that Dr. Murray is guilty for just a second.

Ben warning Alex that he’s now an arrested suspect and that by driving off with him in the car, he could be liable for part of his crime, and Alex just being like, “Well, I guessed that much - where do you want to go?”

Ben telling Alex about the assault and looking him in the face to do it - something he has struggled with so much - and Alex just taking it calmly and with sorrow.

Ben being like, “You don’t understand how bad this is,” and Alex being like, “Maybe not, but I understand enough, and it doesn’t change anything.”

Also, Alex basically blessing Ben as he goes off to the barn? Ach.

Ben’s birthday is in April, and so is little Ben’s!

Longer Comments (In no particular order or level of clarity - apologies):

Fish shows his propensity for law and justice while questioning Donna (even though or maybe especially because he’s angry and loses his temper). And then Kateri shows her heart by her interactions with Donna. I really like the conversation she and Ben have after they leave and when they clear the air, including the fact Kateri has had a grudge against Fish for ages.

I appreciate Alex more and more this reread. In addition to the above comments, he’s the one who suggest and inducts Rose and Nanette into being Ladies of Sacra Cor (and basically tells them it means they’ll start training too), he’s the one who remembers to call Ben Ben, and he’s the one who’s training the other guys and deciding when they’re ready to be knighted.  ALSO, he and Ben challenge each other - he tells Ben that the world doesn’t stop being evil just because you stop fighting, and Ben is the one who tells Alex to put his beliefs into action and back Kateri up.

The whole scene where Alex, Kateri, and Ben are wandering around Graceton looking for Paul and how Ben says that for being so tall, Paul sure got himself pretty lost, and they all nod BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL AVERAGE TO SHORT HEIGHT. And then how mad Alex is at Paul for going off on an interesting diversion and making him late for the proctor meeting and assigns him Thomas Aquinas to read.

“Blanche, you are a lifesaver,” Ben says when she tells him about Nurse Johnson. And, though he doesn’t know it, it ends up being quite literal as that starts the chain of believing Dr. Prosser is behind everything, leading to Ben doing his sting operation, and ultimately leading towards him realising Rose isn’t actually comatose and thus her being woken and saved.

Okay, so in the car going to see Rose, and they’re talking about Christmas plans and Fish says he’s staying there, so James asks where Fish’s parents are from. Fish says New York, but they’re both dead. James says, “Oh, sorry,” AS YOU DO and Fish replies back, “That’s okay. I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.” AND YOU KNOW THAT BOTH YOUR PARENTS DIED FROM MEDICAL ISSUES, BEN - IT’S VERY MUCH NOT JAMES’ FAULT.

Also, when Donna does go and tell Fish about following Rose to the barn - Fish very much doesn’t trust her, but he does thank her and even goes with her to talk to the police (again, legal/experiential side coming through). (Also, “Fish, being Fish, didn’t want to answer the question directly.” But he then gives her an answer by reasoning out that she has nothing to gain from telling him.)

On a tangent, the entire idea of Fish being the protector and having never wanted the Briers (or any other bystanders) involved in his and Bear’s work is why it’s so important that Rose gets into trouble all on her own: it means that Fish doesn’t feel guilty (...well, besides his stray thoughts which he thankfully gets under control pretty quickly) about causing Rose’s coma or obligated to look into what she was investigating for any reason beyond his own desire and sense of justice. And it takes a while, but that’s why it’s so important he does decide to do the undercover sting and try to bring justice to this - not as an obligation but as an active choice to try to fight the evil in the world.

Dinner at Fish’s apartment after the sit-in is great. Paul is not at all chill about being a hero in Kateri’s story and then there’s the stare-down between Alex and Kateri with loaded subcontext (how awkward might that have been for Donna, Paul, and Ben?).

Fish tells Donna that he’s convinced by actions, not words. Which makes sense, but it’s also interesting to see how that works out - because when she comes clean and tells him she lied, he believes her but he doesn’t trust her. And he accepts her into the group because Kateri trusts her and he trusts Kateri, but then he decides to trust her with the makeover for the sting operation. And, after that, he trusts her to take him to the barn and then - most of all - to get the antidote back to Rose in time.

Fish tries to claim he’s expendable and Bear is having none of that. Also, Bear puts his foot down about Fish working solo - either he has backup, or he doesn’t do this. And so Fish asks Alex to be his getaway driver.

And then Kateri and Paul and James and Leroy and DONNA! They all came even though Alex explained the situation and told them not to, and Ben is mad and explains how much legal trouble they’ll be in, but they don’t care. As Kateri says, “We’re not letting you do this alone.”

Alex organising the troops and planning it all out so that there’s the best chance for Rose to survive and for Ben to make it through. And Kateri being indignant about being left out of the lineup until Alex tells her her job is to sacrifice herself to save Paul and Rose, if the staff get through him and Leroy and James. Even if Paul won’t let that actually happen.

DONNA. I had forgotten that Donna not only played a crucial part in saving Rose’s life by getting through the staff/police barricade but also in saving Ben’s by sending Bear to the barn to help him. And I’m just so happy that she was redeemed and healed and she fully joined in - she could have easily said no or just done the bare minimum, but she waded in just the same as the rest of the group. Although it’s not explicitly stated, I fully expect her and Kateri to have been full-fledged ladies of Sacra Cor by their last appearance if they weren’t already. And she tells Ben she’s praying for him and gives him a kiss on the cheek, and he tells her thank you, truly and sincerely, and there’s peace!!

And Kateri also!! She and Ben have become full friends now, and he gets a kiss on the cheek from her and there’s half an idea that he’s kind of smug and pleased about her and Alex.

I wonder if Blanche had a premonition about Ben at all? Since she has them (or references them) multiple times in the previous books, it would make sense (and also help explain why she sent Bear off after him so soon after baby Ben’s birth - granted, she probably knew there was a sting operation, if not details), but there’s no comment about it at all.

I still would have liked a reunion between Rose and her family (beyond just a scene with her and Jean - though, I guess we got to see her and Bear’s meeting again, but it was pretty distracted, of course), even if it wasn’t strictly necessary for the story.

#Waking Rose #Regina Doman #Fairy Tale Novels #Finally dug this out of my drafts #Figured I should get it cleaned up (HA! in some way) and posted before Lady-Merian actually read WR #Fair warning: it's crazy long and rather convoluted

[randomidiocyncrazies]

2.43 ep 5 thoughts: Oda and Aoki edition

sooo as you all know i’m an Oda (and Oda/Aoki) stan, so I just wanna take some time to talk about Oda and Aoki’s dynamics in episode 5 and compare it to the book a little

as a note, I’ll be commenting using my translated copy of the novel, which I’m pretty sure is based on the tankobon edition of the first arc (‘S1′); there may be some revisions in the bunkobon edition that i don’t have access to

[2.43 BOOK SPOILERS AHEAD]

while i think the tension during the club activity suspension had been downgraded from “this is a huge blow to team morale :O” to “hm, i guess people are kind of annoyed?” and we didn’t get to witness Aoki and Oda flying off the handle, I do appreciate that the seniors are presented as a unit in handling the younger team members, especially that Oda was able to stop Aoki with a glance in the anime (as shown above).

this strong partnership also leads us to the scene where they are hanging out together on break at one of their houses and communicating with each other about the incident, even though they have different opinions about it: Oda believes in Yuni’s innocence, while Aoki is holding a grudge (based on his words and expression). (also, what a gorgeous house!) 

there is no similar scene, or even a reference to something like this, in the book—this is because, as alluded earlier, the team suspension is presented as way more devastating to team morale than it was presented in the anime

in the book Aoki’s displeasure towards Yuni had a sharper edge; not only was Aoki the ‘lead interrogator’ during the team’s questioning of Yuni, but he also hauled Yuni up by his shirt collar when he thought Yuni’s refusal to explain what happened was him not taking this seriously. 

Oda actually had to physically intervene in the book, and although Aoki reluctantly let Yuni go, he specifically says that Yuni had “betrayed [Oda’s] trust.” When Yuni insisted that he didn’t do anything that’d cause trouble to the team and “it’s you [seniors] who refuse to take my word for it”, Aoki basically threatens to kill him if he keeps looking down on them/refusing to take this seriously. 

(Chika is also much more aggressive in the book; he tried to lunge at Yuni, but was held back by Kanno, who advised him to at least hear Yuni out, but also made it clear that they need an actual explanation out of Yuni instead of the wishy-washy stuff he’d been saying)

in the book, they make a note that Oda calming Aoki down is a rare sight that the underclassmen normally never see, which was kind of interesting in terms of how the 3rd year duo presents themselves to the team—Aoki is the cool cucumber while Oda is the excitable ‘heart’ of the team, so that line reinforces how unusual Aoki’s actions during the interrogation were. there’s also the implication that, since Aoki was so aggressive, Oda has to hold back and be the one who diffuses the situation this time.

as the argument over Yuni’s refusal to explain what exactly happened spirals out of control, Oda also reached his limit and snaps at all of them, including Aoki, to just resign if they’re just going to get in his way of playing at the Spring Tournament. this shocks everyone into silence, and Oda is so ashamed at his (”selfish”) conduct that he dismisses everyone, and it was heavily implied that he didn’t really speak to any of the team members during the month that club activities were suspended (horrified at his outburst during the last meeting).

in the epilogue (which timing-wise roughly corresponds to the after-credit scene in ep 5), it’s implied that Aoki was the one who reached out to Itoko’s friends in an attempt to figure out what went down during the incident, and Oda and Aoki have a rather touching reconciliation conversation.

essentially, Aoki walks in to the club’s supply office to see Oda taking care of the equipment. When Aoki pointed out that Oda doesn’t have to do all this as he’s the captain, Oda felt that it’s penance for “being the first one who gave up”:

“Nobody thought you’ve given up, you know.” Aoki sat down at the end of the bench, the worn wood creaking under his weight. Just as he was about to pick up one of the balls by his feet, he noticed—the “Seiin High School” written in marker on all of the balls are facing up in the same direction. 

Oda isn’t the kind of person who’d deliberately make sure the equipment was laid out uniformly, so it was easy to imagine that he got in early to maintain the equipment, as well as the way he stared at the name written across each ball he cleaned with deep emotion before putting it down naturally, with the school name facing in the same direction.

“If you weren’t the captain, the team would probably be finished and unable to make a comeback. It’s because of you that everyone is willing to push through these circumstances. You should be proud of that.”

“That’s because you went around to help me make nice with the underclassmen in the background, right?”

“No, I didn’t do anything to soothe them at all. Besides, I was only doing it for your sake before.”

Honestly, Aoki wanted to smack the hell out of Kuroba [...] While the others were more or less sympathetic after the whole incident was cleared up by Kuroba Itoko, Aoki still couldn’t quite forgive him. If it wasn’t for that brat, things would never have gotten to such a state.

“On this topic... Aoki, are you sure? If you retire now, you’d have plenty of time to get ready for your entrance exams.”

“Shin, stop bringing such an ancient topic up.” Aoki rested his elbows on the back of the bench. “There’s no time for you to feel guilty. Isn’t this the practice you’ve been looking forward to for so long? You have to show them you want this more than anything. Come now, before the others show up, hold your head high.”

Dipping his head down to look at Oda, Aoki thought Ah, so we’ve become old geezers too. Every time he looked at Kuroba and Haijima, he couldn’t help but think that Oda’s skin had a healthier glow back then; is it because he had gotten skinnier... no, no, he had built up some proper muscles since then, so maybe it’s just his face that looks tired?

It had been two and a half years since then. The first time he saw this shorty was when he’d been poked in the back, Oda’s eyes glittering as he chattered away about the “super ace.” He had been unwavering in the pure, naïve belief that he’d grow and become a super ace back then.

“I’m... really blessed.” Oda said quietly with a sniffle. He wiped the corner of his eyes, and when he lifted his head he expression on his face was one of happiness, though it was mixed with faint embarrassment. 

No, I think you’re pretty unfortunate. Aoki’s sure that, if he had been in Oda’s situation, he’d have given up on himself a long time ago. [...] Oda’s the type of person that, even when he’s forced to give up on his dream to become a super ace due to the unsurmountable challenge of his height, he’s still able to say he’s blessed with a straight face.

“Also, there’s one other thing I wanted to apologize for.” Oda hunched his back, clearing his throat sheepishly.

“What is it? Like I said, it’s fine.”

“I heard that you got a girlfriend, and went around on dates. I thought, ‘the team’s in a pinch and that guy had the time to play around with girls?!’ Honestly, I was really mad.”

“Pfft—” Aoki couldn’t help but laugh. When Oda looked at him in confusion, he covered his mouth with a hand and shifted his gaze away. “Don’t worry about it, there’s nothing going on.”

“You contacted the girls from the other school because you’re looking up leads for what happened with Kuroba, right? Still, even if you didn’t get a girlfriend, I think it’s only natural that you’d be popular; you’re really tall and smart after all.”

“Shin... can we just drop this?” Aoki interrupted, feeling his temples throb. He was a little angry, but... oh well, it’s fine if Oda doesn’t understand.

(2.43 S1 Epilogue part 3)

(Aoki is pining SO HARD he can be a frickin’ tree 🌲 he already has the height covered :V) 

in a previous post examining the Oda/Aoki dynamic, I’ve talked about how they seem to be at cross purpose when it comes to understanding the other’s motivation—we’ve seen Oda being confused by why Aoki would devote himself to him back in Chapter 3 (it’s because he is in love with you thinks your pure drive is admirable); and now the “I’m really blessed”/‘no I think you’re unfortunate’ exchange from Aoki’s point of view shows Aoki’s blind spot. it’s not explicitly stated, but to me it’s pretty clear that Oda was talking about having the team, and more specifically about having Aoki’s support, which is what makes him blessed. Aoki, though he’s not wrong about Oda being an optimist, seems to have missed (or dismissed) what Oda was really trying to say here

all in all, both the anime and the book have shipping material for Oda/Aoki, but in slightly different ways; in the anime it’s more of a stable and straightforward dynamic (which makes it easier for the anime staff and the viewers to handle, since there’s no opportunity to devote precious run-time to an in depth exploration of their characters and dynamic), while in the book it’s a bit more complicated, where it feels like they’re on the verge of something but it’s never addressed explicitly

or, in the terms of fanfic tropes, in the anime they give off strong established couple vibes, while in the book they’re more about the pining and miscommunication

EDIT: lmao the staff sure knows their marketing huh. they really said "Dinner at the Aoki Household" huh. (I guess the implication is that Oda slept over that night? or at the very least had dinner at Aoki’s place)

honestly it's rly interesting to sketch out the dynamic i want to explore in Oda/Aoki fics, because i see them as an established couple in the anime (sir they DATIN’), while i maintain that they have not gotten together yet in the books (and won’t until after Aoki had gone off to college)

(also, just to be clear, i don't think Oda/Aoki would ever be 'canon' in the sense that it'll be officially/explicitly confirmed. i just like their dynamic and i’m having fun with it)

#2.43 #2.43 anime #2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley bu #2.43 seiin high school boys volleyball team #oda shinichiro #aoki misao #odaoki #aoda

[anika-ann]

WINSoD - Pt.2

We Move Together...

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2, part 3)  

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader    Word count: 2400

Summary: In which Steve might get a bit tipsy and jealous in a sweet way. 

A/N: As adertised, What I’d Never Say or Do (Had I Been in My Right Mind) is only refered to as WINSoD. Also - enter Age of Ultron ;)

Warnings: mention of superntural creatures, alcohol, language, briefest mention of death, journalists acting like jerks 

Part 1 (previous chapter)

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

The press conference was a thing from nightmares. You did not enjoy all the flashes of cameras; you were not Tony freaking Stark, all charming and witty when over a hundred reporters stumbled through the doorway of the huge conference room. No, you could only manage to be sassy and fun within a circle of your friends. Which you found yourself in anyway, but boy, the presence of the others was still very much apparent and they were the ones asking questions.

Even Bruce had been forced to come, much to his dismay, but him and Clint were for some reason left out when it came to the poisonous questions, their duo considered only unwilling participants of the whole plotting for and against the poor soulmate pair of you and Steve.

You truly envied Thor who was off to Asgard once more. And while you wouldn’t want to be in Bucky’s shoes, you sure as hell wished you could sit this one out as he did, the public still not aware of his existence safe for one priest who had helped him to find his way to Steve.

It was ridiculous. The tone a question was asked with was enough to distinguish whether it was aimed at you and Steve or at someone else. Hell, when it came to you and Steve, they didn’t even bother asking, just stating the facts instead.

“Such a long recovery. That must have been horrible, especially with amnesia involved, wasn’t it.” (Yes, shockingly. What is it to you, huh?)

“Such luck you were able to remember, isn’t it.” (Luck had nothing to do with it. God’s sister has.)

“You must be angry with Captain’s team too, aren’t you.” (No, they are the best, you idiot, this whole thing is a stupid lie.)  

“I am sure you’re willing to share your story since people were grieving for you in such a worship-like way…” (…fuck you.)

In reality, you tried to word your indignation towards this herd-like aggressivity aimed at the Avengers and the blatant pity for you rather carefully, speaking of hardship but justified, and yes, you were very lucky indeed. They didn’t need to know just how much.

Steve received a pretty similar set of questions, but they were more of anger and questioning whether the team was still able to function after such a betrayal that nearly ended up tragically. Steve was surprisingly convincing in his act of a disappointed teammate and friend and expressed hope that they would be able to continue to exist and cooperate, his team slowly earning his trust back.

“Have the outcome had been different, my reaction would be too. But the love of my life is here with me and that is what matters. I cannot begin to say how lucky I am to have her back and I thank God for that every day.”

You bit your cheek so you wouldn’t laugh at the private joke and smiled at him instead, earning a whispering wave of ‘awww’ from the crowd and a blinding mess of camera flashes when you gathered the courage to lean in and kiss Steve’s cheek chastely. The reporters went absolutely nuts.

Tony and Natasha on the other hand had to face the stoning. Seriously, there were being personally attacked, questions dripping venom. But they clearly had more experience and knew how to answer without the cunning reporters being able to twist their words into something else, much to the vultures’ dislike and annoyance. Duo Stark-Romanoff fought back and very effectively.

It filled your chest with pride, having friends capable in so many ways. They were so freaking badass.

It made the whole experience more bearable; that and Steve’s hand always touching you, grounding you and reminding you that never ever he would let you face the wolves alone.

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

You all knew that a public apology and trying your best to deal with the press somehow wouldn’t be enough. Well, you had hoped it would, but hadn’t quite believed, expecting to have to more in near future.

You were right, of course, which was why you were currently dressed up (or dolled up, as Steve loved to say, because you were his doll, after all) and forcing yourself to leave the elevator once it would stop, with Steve by your side.

“It’s gonna be alright,” he coaxed, knuckles brushing your cheek tenderly, planting a soft kiss to your temple, too worried about smudging your lipstick despite Natasha’s earlier reassurance that it wouldn’t smudge under any circumstances as she had thoroughly tested.

You tried not to think about that kind of testing and clearly Steve felt the same.

Instead, you gazed into the cerulean blue with a drop of green of his eyes, not convinced. He was being sweet and all, which you appreciated, but in reality, he had no way of knowing it would be alright. Mostly because Tony went all the way and invited all the important people who could influence the public opinion as much as rising stars of whom he felt could influence the public in the near future.

So next to a senator and a group of big-shot businessmen, there would hang out a pair of lawyers sticking for the little guy and right next to a supermodel, there would be a girl starting a new food bank. Thinking about it, it was a funny parallel to Steve and you by his side, except you weren’t doing any good, unlike them. Not that you would say that out loud.

To be fair, the Avengers decided to spice thing up a little by revealing Bucky Barnes being alive, very slowly leaking his story of a brainwashed soldier. Funnily enough, in a shadow of your big reveal, his own went rather quietly.

People were so freakin’ weird.

“I guess I’m gonna survive…” you murmured, ignoring the icy shiver that ran up your spine at your choice of words. Steve’s gaze seemed to turn distant for a moment before coming back to you, some of the strength he had been trying to project into you disappearing in the wind because of the painful memory. “Sorry. That was-“

The emotion no doubt twisting his gut caused his inhibitions to fly out of the window and his lips captured yours in a searing kiss that took your breath away. You melted against his muscular frame that seemed to engulf you completely, his calloused fingers grabbing onto your bare shoulders, digging in a bit deeper than necessary.

Your head was spinning with the passion displayed so openly and in the back of your mind, you registered that the elevator stopped, but before you could get to the idea of thanking Tony’s AI, your brain got side-tracked when Steve shamelessly licked into your mouth and backed you into the railing by the wall.

Feeling the familiar heat pool in your lower abdomen, sending sizzling heat through your veins, you instinctively gripped the lapels of his suit jacket when his lips retreated to give you a chance to breathe in.

Who needed breathing anyway?

He grinned against your mouth, the little shit he was, and one of his hands guided your head to a tilt for better access. You most definitely whimpered at that as his body trapped you against the wall completely, not leaving an inch in between.

Feeling him this close would never get old and you thought you might burst by the time his mouth moved to your left ear, keeping you in place while his hand moved from your shoulder to trace the line of your dress, slipping between the high slit of your dress to caress your thigh.

“Watch your mouth, doll. Or I’m gonna have to do exactly this to shut you up every time you don’t,” he whispered and your ragged breath caught in your throat when the perfect comeback popped in your head – a reasonable one, surprisingly enough.

“I bet the press would love that.”

His fingers flexed on your leg and his teeth very carefully nibbled on the skin of your neck, causing your heart to skip a beat.

“Don’t care about the press,” he growled lowly, sighing as if in pain when he slowly pulled back, leaving you clutching the railing so you wouldn’t fall as your legs turned into an uncontrollable wobbly mass. Then, as if he wanted to ruin you completely before the night even started, his lips were graced by a soft smile, his eyes twinkling. “I care about you.”

“And you call me trouble…”

He had the nerve to wink at you and thank the AI for the stop he never explicitly asked for.

“My pleasure, Steve,” Jarvis hummed, sounding amused and self-satisfied.

Your soulmate gentlemanly offered you an elbow to lead you out of the cabin.

“Shall we, my lady?”

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

In all honesty, the party wasn’t that bad, mostly because it wasn’t just to celebrate your resurrection, but also retrieving a sceptre Thor’s brother had used during The Battle of New York.

You wouldn’t go as far as saying you enjoyed the evening greatly, but you had met several interesting people of which only few had weird questions regarding you; however, weird questions when showing up in public was an everyday occurrence.

You finally truly understood why Steve was happy you treated him like an equal (most of the time anyway).

Every single original male Avenger and Sam and Bucky made sure to dance with you as well as with Natasha and for a good measure, when the song got the right beat, your favourite redhead dragged you to the dance floor for a friendly dance; needless to say Natasha was much better at spontaneous dancing than you. Steve assured you about the opposite by a kiss and a rather filthy promise as soon as you shared your thoughts on your lacking skills with him.

Actually--- yes, you might even say you enjoyed the party very much, uncharacteristically for you, considering the insane number of people attending. The penthouse was way too full, but here you were, sipping on your third glass of champagne, listening to Thor’s colourful narrating regarding Asgardian battles. It wasn’t that you were interested in battles, no – it was the man himself creating suspense and gesturing wildly and making the whole clutch of listeners breathless.

“Careful with the admiring, doll,” Steve whispered to your ear, his arm sneaking around your waist out of nowhere, nearly making you jump out of your skin. “I might get jealous.”

Giddy from the alcohol, you turned your head and brushed his lips with yours.

“We did establish I’d marry Thor if you weren’t an option, didn’t we?” you teased lowly, catching the wink Thor sent your direction as if he heard you despite your hushed voice. It wasn’t flirtation; no, it felt more like mischief, as if he was being your wingman, which he excelled at apparently, because Steve might get little possessive if the grunt by your ear was anything to go by. “As if you didn’t know I only have eyes for you.”

“Just eyes?”

“Why, Captain, are you implying something?”

“Maybe.”

“Of course, my heart is yours as well,” you smirked at him, making his somehow annoyed and pleased at the same time. You leaned even closer. “And everything else.”

“Alright, but what about that hammer of yours? I mean, I saw people swinging around Captain’s shield – though not as skilfully – but no one uses your weapon. Why? Is it that heavy? Are you the only one strong enough to… keep it up?” one of the women asked, apparently more than a little tipsy, judging by her implication.

Gee, she had no inhibitions. Were you being like this now? You really hoped not…

“Well, my lady, that is a very complicated matter…” Thor started, clearly pleased by that question.

“Dance with me again,” sounded softly at your ear and your lips automatically curled up in a smile.

“Whatever makes you happy, my love.”

Steve grinned as he swiftly got rid of the glass in your hand and was already pulling you away by the time you noticed the envious or the amused stares of your companions.

“Green’s not a good colour on you, Steve,” you hummed incidentally, earning an actual pout. “This is adorable though. And I’m not gonna complain about you getting a bit handsy more often.”

“Trouble, doll.”

“I love you too.”

“I do love you. I’m sorry if I got annoying. It’s just… ugh. Thor. You got this look in your eyes and I just-”

Oh.

You sometimes forgot Steve could be as self-conscious as you were. It made your heart ache and yet grow with fondness for your soulmate.

“No, Steve. I might get starry-eyed, because of course I do admire him. It’s easy to get captivated by his stories or his manners, just look at the crowd around him. But you… there’s something about you… that strikes me right here.” You tapped over your heart pointedly. “You know me through and through and yet here you are. You must know I’m yours and still – you treat me every day like you’re courting me and at the same time, we’re comfortable with each other and--- yeah, that. Thor is great. But you’re everything. You’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” he confirmed, brilliant eyes shining, the drops of Asgardian liquor he had consumed adding to the glow. “And you’re mine.”

“Meant to be…” you cooed, happily giving in to his lips when they found yours again for a short moment. You barely realized you stopped in your steps as the slow song had made you only sway. You whispered into his lips then, unbothered. “Plus, I bet you could lift that hammer and keep it up too if you tried.”

His rich laughter filled your ears and he spun you both in circle, planting a kiss on your forehead. You already planned on how you’d get him a custom-made mug with a little hammer on it, reading ‘I am worthy’ or something like that. You were sure he’d love it.

Yeah, it was an amazing party.

Here was a funny thing though; when you had already been confronted with the fact angels and God existed, you should have known blasphemy was a thing.

So, naturally, as you had said ‘I guess I’m gonna survive…’, you should have known there would be a thick chance that you wouldn’t.

That was the first thing that flew through your mind the moment something burst through a wall as if it was made paper thin and not metal.

The second thought? Oh shit.

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Part 3

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Thank you for reading! 

Like I said, chapters of this fic will be less chronologically tight. Buuut, you’ll see ;) Also, sorry it took me so long.

#fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers soulmate #soulmate au #steve rogers #captain america #captain america x you #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #steve rogers imagine #avengers #a:aou #mcu #marvel #captain america soulmate #winsod #anika ann

[rivalsforlife]

Additional, what's your thoughts on AA6, then?

Oooh okay I know that AA6 is generally better received than AA5, but I didn’t really like that game much either, for somewhat similar reasons why I didn’t like AA5?

Like not only did it abandon most of the plot threads of AA5 -- which they have even less of an excuse for, since this game came out three years after DD and on the same console -- but it had a similar problem that DD had involving pushing back major characters. Namely, Athena, who was kind of hyped up in DD as someone who was going to “revolutionize” the courtroom, but then barely had a major role in SOJ aside from the fourth case (which only had the one trial day and no investigation time, and was completely disconnected with the plot.) And yeah juggling three protagonists at the same time is a bad move, but if you had to pick a protagonist to give a smaller role... I would not pick Athena.

I guess the thing about Spirit of Justice is that it’s an Apollo game which tries to be a Phoenix game. I can’t really see any reason for Phoenix to go to Khura’in and stay there. Sure, he wants to hang out with Maya, who he hasn’t seen in a few years -- but she was supposed to come back in a couple of weeks. Also, and this is one of my bigger issues, one of the biggest shows his daughter was ever going to perform would be in the time he was gone, but he didn’t seem to particularly care about missing it. And, and, and! He didn’t even get to SEE Maya for two weeks after he arrived! So why go that early?

I know the semi-canon prologue kiiind of touched on that with Phoenix thinking Maya was in danger, and I can definitely see him rushing over there if he thought she’d been hurt and/or accused of murder somehow. But... the prologue isn’t really CANON canon, it’s not ever stated explicitly or shown in the game. Instead the game just has him say he was worried about Maya for no particular reason, so he... abandoned his daughter just before her big show... and then didn’t even go back after she was accused of murder? I know that he couldn’t have made it back in time for the trial, but he didn’t even go back to comfort her? For two weeks? Where he was in Khura’in and couldn’t even see Maya? 

It just strikes me as a “we need Phoenix to be in Khura’in for Plot Reasons and not because it’s something his character would ever actually do” kind of thing. And, you know, there is that one interview where they say that Phoenix had to be in Khura’in because they needed to “challenge” him more, but this isn’t really much of a challenge. “He needs to win otherwise he’ll die”??? Big deal, we all already KNOW Phoenix would die to defend his friends! We’ve played Bridge to the Turnabout and seen him run across the burning bridge because he thought Maya was trapped with a murderer. Like, the stakes aren’t that much higher. Phoenix wouldn’t let something silly like death get in the way of doing what was right. That one concept about an “underground court” where Phoenix couldn’t trust his clients was a MUCH more interesting concept because it actually challenges one of Phoenix’s core beliefs. Instead, I can’t say that Phoenix has grown or changed at ALL before and after Khura’in.

And aside from Maya Being There and a general intolerance for injustice, Phoenix has no personal stakes in the general conflict of Khura’in. You know who apparently does? Apollo. But his connection to Khura’in isn’t even really explored until the last case, where they shove all of the Dhurke and Nahyuta development in at once. Of course, his beloved childhood friend he was so distraught over in the last game isn’t ever really mentioned, nor does his loss seem to have any long-term effect on Apollo beyond DD.

And speaking of Dhurke and Nahyuta... another issue I had with Turnabout Revolution is that it was trying to do SO MUCH that it didn’t give much focus. Also the severe delaying of Nahyuta’s character arc: he’s pretty much in Second-Case Prosecutor Mode until the very last case, where we only see him for the last part of it. It makes his development feel a little rushed, I think -- it’s been a while since I played SOJ though, so take that with a grain of salt.

Also I want to say that I really love Maya and I’m glad to see that she’s okay, but it doesn’t feel like she had a huge role in SOJ despite the game pretty much existing to bring her back in a big way. She comes back, and she’s still not the Master, inexplicably, despite it having been nine years since T&T. The game says it was because she could only channel spirits 30% of the time or something before, but... that never really came up past Turnabout Goodbyes? After that she’d pretty much always been able to channel whoever, whenever she needed to (including channeling Dahlia for several days) so I don’t really buy that excuse. My fear is they didn’t want to risk changing Maya Too Much so they just kind of tried to keep her as close to original Maya as possible. Plus, she only shows up for two of the five cases, in which she spends almost all of her time accused of murder, kidnapped, or channeling someone. And all of her important interactions are with Phoenix, or sometimes Rayfa, and like maybe an offhand comment to Apollo? But she doesn’t ever bond with Apollo or Athena or even Trucy -- she and Trucy never even ACKNOWLEDGE each other, which is SO weird, because this is her best friend’s daughter, why is she acting like she doesn’t even know her? 

There’s more with Trucy -- the game tries to claim Trucy has a bigger role because she’s accused of murder, but the entirety of that case irritates me for how it completely disregards previously-established Gramarye lore to add in This Random Dude (who does have an awesome theme song, but still), and then perfectly sets up the opportunity for a sibling reveal only to completely ignore it. (You’ve got a guy who knew Thalassa and should have known about her perceiving power + bracelet, and has a huge complex about being defeated by a Gramarye, coming face-to-face with Apollo with his perceiving power and bracelet and... nothing! Not even acknowledging it!)

oh and the civil trial. the civil. freaking. trial. is SUCH a cool concept that they ABSOLUTELY fail to make work. Because instead of it being about Phoenix’s ideals failing him, or him believing in his client until the very end but his client just turned out to be a terrible person, it was yet another Farewell, My Turnabout but worse, with Phoenix only defending this guy because Maya’s kidnapped again... and he learned absolutely nothing from last time, where the only reason he got through the trial safely was by trusting Miles and teaming up with the other side to delay the trial for a rescue, instead he just decides I’m Not Telling Apollo Anything and struggles like he did in the second game. Plus it takes any victory of Apollo triumphing over Phoenix away, because Phoenix wasn’t actually trying his best. It had the opportunity to be an exploration of “what would Phoenix do if his trust in people actually went wrong”, but they abandoned it because Phoenix Wright Is Never Wrong. Instead it was just so weak!

Wow this is ALL OVER THE PLACE I’m sorry about that anon. ending with a bit of positivity, I really like that Final Big Twist at the end of the game, I think that was a super cool use of spirit channeling! And getting a little more spirit channeling lore was nice (though I would have liked to see more about the structure of Kurain Village -- you expect me to believe this random dude has a major role as the mayor of what has always been described as a matriarchal village?) I guess my main issue is... a lot of potential for cool things (in the civil trial, in Maya getting to know and bonding with the New Generation, sibling reveals and spirit channeling lore) and it doesn’t really deliver on most of it.

#soj spoilers #spirit of justice spoilers #aa6 spoilers #I'm completely exhausted right now but I hope this is slightly legible #long post #asks

[yehet-about-it]

BEST FRIENDS AND BANANAS: A SERIES OF AWKWARD EVENTS | Semester I Part 17 - Morning Sleepyhead

|| Masterlist || < Prev || Next >

~ An NCT Dream x Wayv College AU Social Media Series ~

Updates @ 7pm GMT/1pm CST Monday, Wednesday & Saturday (3AM+1 KST)

Semester I Synopsis: It’s your junior year at college and it’s been over a year since you were in a relationsip, but luckily you’re not short of eligble men to choose from. Your best friends are 6 rowdy boys (aka the dreamies) and your favourite girl Jiwon, but what happens when a fleeting romance with a handsome senior leads to big changes in your relationships?

Pairings: Jaemin x Reader, Best Friend!Renjun x Reader, Hendery x Reader, Choi San x Reader

Genre: College AU, Fluff, Comedy, Light smut in some parts

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol/drinking, references to a previous sexual encounter, mature content, this part isn’t that explicit but there are several references to sex things, so 17+!!

A/N: No social media for this update just writing! Sorry if it’s not the best, it’s been a while since I’ve written! 

~ Clara x

You woke up groggily, wincing as your eyes adjusted to the morning light. Scanning the room from atop your pillow you were relieved to see that you were in your own room, and not some strangers; that was the last thing you needed on top of the splitting headache that was about to hit you. However, as you became more aware of your surroundings, you realised there was a large bottle of water and several boxes of painkillers set on the nightstand, and suddenly you became painfully aware of the presence behind you.

 Apprehensively, you turned yourself over to see who the guest was taking residence on the other side of your bed, trying your best not to freak out, but your face softened when you saw your best friend shirtless and sat up under your covers, looking down at his phone, which was apparently plugged in to your charger. Your heart swelled at the familiar sight, his hair ruffled and unstyled, and his eyes a little red and tired, reminding you how sweet he was. But then it hit you. Images of the night before started seeping into your mind and you began to remember exactly what you had done. 

 You remembered stumbling hand in hand into the cab, smiling softly at Renjun as you passed by all the people on the sidewalk enjoying their Saturday night. You remembered the look he gave you, before he leaned over in the cab to kiss you for the first time, the raw intensity of it. You remembered kicking off your shoes as you tumbled into your apartment, wrapping yourself tightly around him as he kissed you up against the wall. You remembered his fingers grazing your skin as he hastily rid you of your clothes, his hot breath igniting a fire in your core as he roamed your body looking for your sweet spots. And most of all you remembered how good it felt. 

 Suddenly becoming aware of your changed state of consciousness, Renjun looked up from his phone, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Morning sleepyhead,” he said in his usual sweet tone, dropping his phone back on the night stand, a shy smile on his face. “Morning...” you managed to reply, unable to tear your eyes away from him, still shell-shocked from your memories of last night. “You feeling okay? I found you some painkillers if you need them,” he said calmly. You blinked back at him. The sheer shock had dulled the pounding of your headache but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. Eventually, you managed to tear your gaze away from him and slowly sat up, resting your head against the head board, making sure to bring the covers with you since it had been brought to your attention that you were completely bare underneath. “Y/n?” He pressed. You looked back at him. “Renjun... I- We-...” Try as you might, you couldn’t finish the sentence. Really, you didn’t know what the hell you were going to say. You’d just had sex with your best friend and no words came to mind other than ‘WHAT. THE. FUCK?’ 

 “Yeah... We did…” Renjun spoke. What you couldn’t understand was how he wasn’t more flustered about the whole situation. Whenever any of the guys brought up any of his hook ups he’d turn red as a tomato and get all defensive, but right now he seemed weirdly collected given the situation you were in. “I’m sorry y/n. I really am,” he started. “We were both so drunk and I suppose it just happened. I- I’m sorry… I couldn’t help it…” You could now just about hear the flustered panic you had expected in his voice, but you weren’t doing any better. “We- we’re best friends! Best friends don’t have sex! What the hell were we thinking?!” You stuttered and there was an awkward silence for a moment as both of you sat there, the guilt sinking in. 

“I know,” he sighed. “I don’t know if you did it because you were drunk and sad about San, but I just couldn’t help it. I was wasted and the way you were being so cute in the cab and looking at me like that I couldn’t stop myself. Please don’t think I took advantage of you, I could never do that to you, and I’m sorry if you’re weirded out...” Your heart broke a little at his words. Renjun may have revealed himself as quite the sexual deviant but you didn’t want him to think he’d hurt you or betrayed your trust. “No it’s okay Renjun, I know you’d never take advantage of me. I mean, I was just as into it as you. But it’s a lot to process... We’re supposed to be the cute wholesome besties and we just had sex!” You squeaked. 

 There was a pause as you stared at Renjun, the bewilderment still evident on your face, but then you couldn’t help but let out a snigger, and soon you were laughing hysterically in your state of panic, at the sheer ridiculousness of the whole situation, and you had to shove your face into your pillow to get yourself to stop. No one would believe the two of you would have such intense raunchy sex. After you became friends the two of you had had to vehemently deny you were dating for months until everyone finally realised you were just two endearing people that happened to become inseparably close. So generally there wasn’t the faintest whiff of suspicion that the two of you might be hooking up, but now you’d both just spent the filthiest night together, exchanging the dirtiest whispers and drowning in the intense pleasure you brought each other. What wasn’t there to laugh about? 

 When you finally stopped laughing you sat up and stretched your head back against the head board. “Jesus, what have we done?” You shook your head trying to process everything. How on earth were you going to explain this? Did anyone else know? Was your friendship with Renjun ever going to be the same?

 “You know, it was really good…” you were pulled out of your thoughts as Renjun spoke, his words taking you by surprise. “I mean, I know you’re my best friend and it’s weird, but I don’t really regret it”. 

 “You don’t regret it?” You squeaked in disbelief. “Not really… I sort of freaked out at first, but I was thinking about it all morning and I realised it’s not that bad. Nothing’s really changed other than now I know how pretty you look naked... and when you’re coming...” You looked up at Renjun, not believing what you were hearing. His expression was serious but his cheeks were tinted slightly pink, showing just a hint of embarrassment. “Oh my god Renjun!” You yelped. Where the hell had your reserved best friend gone? You knew he could be what could be described as ‘satan-like’ when it came to the boys and their bantering, but you’d never known him to be so explicitly sexually forward. “Sorry! Sorry! I’m just saying, you were really good…” When Renjun stopped speaking, a moment passed and you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. He... was okay with it? What’s more, he even liked it? 

This was all too much for you to process in the morning, especially with a hangover, but then the memories kept playing over and over in your head. Did you like it too? You could feel the dull ache of your core after the pounding it had taken last night and you were reminded of the dirty things he had whispered in your ear as you took him all in. 

“You like that baby girl?” 

“I can make you feel better than San ever could...” 

“Good girl, come for me, that’s it...”

The heat rose in your cheeks as you realised how much you had liked hearing those words. How much you had enjoyed seeing your supposedly angelic best friend become such a sinful and depraved pervert for you. You tried to shake the thoughts off, but it was no use. It didn’t help that Renjun was staring back at you with his cute morning eyes, in all his naked glory, his toned but slender chest exposed above the covers. 

 You blushed furiously, holding your side of the covers a little tighter against your chest. “It- it wasn’t bad I suppose…” you mumbled. Your mind and body were in a heated conflict. Every fibre of your brain was screaming that this was the worst thing to happen to you since Kim Seunghun rejected you in front of your entire class in 5th grade, but the warmth coursing through your body was saying otherwise. 

 Renjun’s words had definitely caused the sexual tension to return to the room and not being able to deal with the awkwardness you busied yourself reaching for the water on your nightstand and popping an aspirin. Swallowing the tablet you sunk back down under the covers and sighed. “We absolutely cannot tell anyone about this Renjun. Absolutely no one. I don’t even want to think about what the guys would have to say about it.” You frowned. You knew if the others were to find out about this you’d never hear the end of it. You’d spent all that time proving to them that there was nothing vaguely romantic or sexual about your relationship with Renjun after their incessant teasing in first year and you weren’t about to shatter the peace in that regard. “Yeah, they give me enough shit as it is,” Renjun agreed. “We’re okay though right? I don’t want this to change our friendship or anything.” Renjun bit his lip as he looked at you nervously. Your annoyance at the thought of the likes of Jeno finding out dissipated when you saw how genuinely worried he looked. Renjun had been your best friend almost since you first met in your freshman year, and at this point neither of you could imagine being without the other and you certainly weren’t going to let a minor inconvenience like accidentally hooking up come between the two of you. “Of course we are junnie, it- it was just a drunken mistake. So we can just forget it and move on,” you said. After all, it was true. It was just sex, and nothing you need fall out over. People had gotten over worse.

 Renjun smiled at you softly, relieved you weren’t mad at him and having discussed the topic to your satisfaction, you sighed a breath of relief. You and Renjun were going to be okay, but you still couldn’t get the image of him hovering above you with his hand wrapped round your thigh as he fucked you out of your mind. Pushing the sexual thoughts to the back of your mind for the sake of your own sanity, you sat for a moment attempting to prepare yourself to get out of bed and start your day. “Well, I guess we should shower and get dressed! I feel gross… We worked up quite the sweat last night” you chirped, just wanting the morning to be over already. Renjun hummed in agreement. “I’d say we should go get food after, but I have an art project I really need to get on with, I’m gonna text Jeno to pick me up.” You pouted, since Renjun always took you to get food when you were hungover, but then you remembered you had a cupboard full of instant ramen you could eat to your heart’s content and you cheered up slightly. “Hm, okay” you sighed. 

 The two of you set about cleaning up, you letting Renjun shower first so you could make yourself decent withhout prying eyes and when you were finished showering you emerged from the bathroom brushing your hair as Renjun sat on the end of your bed lacing up his shoes. “You know, you- really weren’t how I would’ve expected. I guess you really are as perverted as everyone says...” you joked. Renjun chuckled shyly at that, standing up and grabbing his jacket.. “Oh you’ve no idea,” he said. You raised your eyebrows. His angelic image was now well and truly shattered. “Yes, well, please spare me,” you said. “Now get your kinky ass out of my apartment.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @patchi-chi @classic-antifood @stopitvpls @arimeetsevil @strayteezjinnie @colpen @yuuuumiiin

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#bf&b:nct #yehet-about-it #nct texts #nct social media au #nct college au #nct fluff #nct smut #nct dream texts #nct dream social media au #nct dream college au #renjun x reader #renjun smut #renjun college au #best friend!renjun #renjun social media au #renjun texts #nct dream x reader #jaemin x reader

[pianosmp]

Who was Pandora’s Vault originally for

(Because I have been thinking about this for far too long)

(Sorry if some of these are a little old, I forgot I made this like a month ago so I cleaned it up and here we are)

This list will go from most likely to least likely character.

Likely

- Technoblade (arguably the most likely option simply because when you mention “powerful enough to be a problem” the first thing you think of is Techno. He’s notoriously strong and unafraid to oppose Dream. Also seeing as the prison ‘changed purpose’ it implies Dream no longer saw the original intended prisoner as a threat, or at least as much of a threat, as Tommy)

- BBH (Dream’s old friend, implied more powerful then a regular human. Plus by this point the egg plot on the Dream SMP had already started. There may have been ‘good intentions’ originally. As dumb as it sounds, I’d also count putting the egg itself in jail here)

- Wilbur Soot (revived, of course. It’s been established that a revived Wilbur would be more dangerous then ever, and if Dream had any inking of this beforehand the prison would be the best way to fully utilize his power. Those not in the know would be blackmailed to keep him safe, and Wilbur could also provide some added chaos to the SMP as a whole, which may end up working in Dream’s favor. And now that he is revived by Dream, we know he’s a threat in some capacity, though seemingly not to Dream himself. Don’t forget, anyone who tries to break out Dream may be hunted down and placed in the prison themselves (or, as in the contract for visiting, “killed until they’re completely dead”))

- Ranboo (Ranboo is tied to Dream in some significant way, seeing as he was used by Dream in some of his plans in some capacity. While a help, I’m sure it could also have been turned into a threat of the wrong things were to get out. Also for meta gaming purposes that get him higher on this list, Dream and Ranboo have collaborated with lore in the past and clearly trust each other to carry the torch. Furthermore, with current Ranboo Enderwalk lore, we’ve learned that rather then just being a servant for Dream, there’s a chance the Enderwalk state was manipulated by Dream who perhaps claimed he was doing it for the greater good of the server. But more introspection on the Enderwalk state is a post for another day)

- Karl Jacob (time travel implies two things. Power and unpredictable nature. Seeing as Karl keeps most changes to himself though and seems to be self destructing either the prison is no longer needed for him or he was never considered a real threat in the first place)

- Philza Minecraft (Phil is notably dangerous, though less then Technoblade. He’s got big hostage potential due to his one life predicament and big use potential due to his knowledge in Minecraft)

- Foolish__Gamers (a literal god, and has recently shown godly powers. This would either involve pre planning on someone’s part though, which the Dream SMP isn’t particularly known for, or making this the original prisoner in a retcon “we’ll figure it out later” manner. It would be interesting though, as the prison may have been repurposed after Dream realized Foolish was at this point in time a big pacifist)

- Quackity (he’s dangerous with his tongue, but I don’t think his physical strength is enough for there to be a whole prison containing him. Not to say he doesn’t play to his other strengths- I bet he’d have an easier time convincing someone to break him out then most. And if anything else, Dream’s worries about him as a threat are now justified due to the whole ‘torture every day’ thing)

- Shlatt (a similar situation as Wilbur, but at the bottom because he’s useless as a hostage and currently still dead)

- Dream Himself (okay, so his reluctance to be in the prison makes it seem like he wouldn’t want it to be for him, but if he’s playing like the super long con somehow and the Prison is either to keep threats like the egg out or to make it seem like he’s powerless...)

Maybe?

- Dream XD (wild, and like Foolish, Dream XD wasn’t a lore concept until later in the prison’s development, back when Techno and Phil were building their Anarchy Table, but it would be an interesting twist. Especially because we don’t know if the two have any connection beyond their names)

- Jack Manifold (yeah he died and came back, but that doesn’t change the fact that he died in the first place. Plus he just hasn’t really gotten to Dream with any of his antagonistic attempts)

- Captain Puffy (mysterious past pog. But in all seriousness, she’s seen as being likable and just, doing her best to do the right thing even when making the decision to become a Villain later on with the Eggpire arc. And while she started as a ‘janitor’, she did join the server before the prison began its construction)

- Niki (she’s dangerous now but not to Dream whose locked away and gone from her ire. Also again wasn’t a threat before the prison was planned, though who knows how much Dream knew of everyone’s mental states back when he was planning)

- Fundy (also doubtful, but coder man do be coding, especially with mods now allowed on the SMP. And now with the revelation of his prophetic dreams, there’s a chance this may be the power Dream feared, especially if said powers were in the works beforehand)

- Hbomb (idk he’s got good strategy as seen with Vault Hunters and MCC and stuff but he doesn’t really use it on the Dream SMP as he prefers parkour challenges or just chillin. Perhaps would only be locked up because the Maidbomb is too powerful)

- Eret (yeah they are a monarch who doesn’t like Dream but they really do have no control and no one on their side so unless the Herobrine thing comes into play this one doesn’t make much sense either)

- Ponk (like Eret he doesn’t have much influence over others. More importantly though, all the trouble he’s made so far has been just annoying at worst. His biggest strength is probably how stubborn he is, and how long he’s been around. To quote Eret, “He’s like the John Wick of the Dream SMP.”)

- Antfrost (only if the manhunt series is cannon in the Dream SMPand Dream has flashbacks to when cat boy killed him with a potion like a chump. Though I will say there’s a non zero chance Manhunt is cannon from the comments all the hunters have made during lore bits)

- Hannah Rose and Purpled (TBH both of them are grouped here since they’re most notably physically strong due to their Bedwars experience. But Purpled is rarely ever on, and Hannah joined after prison construction had already started)

- Punz (the only reason the prison would be for him when he knew explicitly about it and could have won is Dream was threatened by his speedrun skills)

- Sapnap (objection your honor that’s too sad. For real, this is probably higher on the Mabye list due to being a big threat, as seen by the ‘I’ll hunt you down if you escape’ exchange he had while visiting Dream. Sapnap makes his decisions based of what he feels is fair, rather then loyalty (a majority of the time anyways) and furthermore he’s one of the people that knows the most about Dream. However, it’s this low because if it’s Sapnap I’d simply cry maybe)

- Mexican Dream (Dream did dislike the guy. However, he lost all his canon lives in the span of one afternoon so how much of a threat was he really?)

For sure not

- Tommy (confirmed by Dream it wasn’t originally for him during the final disk confrontation)

- Tubbo (also confirmed by Dream it wasn’t originally for him during the same confrontation)

- Skeppy (why would he have a prison in Dream’s funky dungeon if he had a better prison elsewhere?)

- Conner, Slime, Lazar, Vikk (simply not on enough for an intense prison lore stream)

- George (too pretty)

- Callahan (too cool. Also part-time is the server)

- Awesamdude (he was recruited to build the prison and be its warden when the time came. Literally the worst person to put in the prison)

- Michaelmcchill (bro he was added today)

#dream smp #pandoras vault #tonight's a thinking night lads

[phantomato]

You Should Know Ch. 13 (Final Chapter) is Live!

[AO3 link here]

Y’all, this has been a journey! Thanks for reading along with me.

I didn’t know where I was heading with this story when I started it, but now that we’re through, I can suggest that you give YSK a chance if you want to read a soft, introspective take on tomione with older characters. There’s some fluff, smut, humor, and social commentary, and there’s no explicit violence. It’s not the most common way to represent the pairing, but I hope you give it a try if you’re into the two characters, all the same.

Spoilers and meta about the process of writing this story below the fold.

I can be honest, here: I wanted to write a happy ending. I did not have the constitution for an unhappy ending when I started this, and maybe more than that, even, I did not have the constitution to write a very unhealthy relationship between Hermione and Tom. I didn’t want to see her treated poorly. I didn’t want to write Tom as an irredeemable villain. Those stories have been told well before, but that’s not what I can offer. However, it’s sort of an absurd notion, right? A Tomione with a reasonably healthy relationship as the endgame? Especially without making it a time travel story, or an AU where he has no horcruxes, it’s going to require some suspension of disbelief. 

I wasn’t interested in a reformed and repentant Tom. He’s interesting to me as a messy person. One prevalent norm for depicting his life is that he’s been a relatively successful leader of his terrorist organization since his teen years, and that was the first assumption I threw out. If we instead let him be this guy with tons of potential who never really took off after school, perhaps because he’s too unwilling to work within the existing systems of power, and he’s surrounded by wealthy and successful peers, he ends up being in a fascinatingly vulnerable state. I added the complication that he’s not so pretty anymore, fucking around with all that Dark magic, so that he’s in a suitable place to be responsive to Hermione’s first approach. For my Tom to work, he needs to still have access to his humanity, including his vulnerabilities, and having him facing the prejudices of the wizarding world / not being God-tier Lord Voldemort is important for that. He’s not a good guy—he murders, tortures, etc.—but even bad people enjoy physical affection or have to pay bills. I based a lot of Tom on myself and my partner so that he would feel real, and he is absolutely the character I relate most to in this story.

Hermione, likewise, I wasn’t interested in flipping her into a dark character, but I also didn’t want to write her as an angelic savior sent to purify Tom’s soul. I think I was a little less successful w/ writing her, to be honest—I struggle with her character for myriad reasons, including that I just don’t tend to like many depictions of Hermione, so it was a challenge to balance her negative traits in a way that made her interesting but not intolerable to write. I like the Hermione I wrote. I just also think she might tend toward a bit more of a savior archetype than I was hoping. Anyway, the key motivation for her was that she had to be a very normal person, despite her big brain. My Hermione is initially captivated by Tom because she’s already built him up in her head as this perfect guy, so when he shows interest in her and is a reasonable, if casual, partner, she becomes deeply infatuated with him. All of her acceptance starts from that place of already liking or loving him, and wanting to keep him in her life. It was important, to me, to show her as a very normal woman in those early chapters—lots of tomione fic has Tom explicitly stating that she’s “not like other girls,” and I find that concept as poisonous in fiction as I do in real life. My girl falls for Tom precisely because she is like other girls and cannot be expected to hold her heart separate from what appears to be a normal relationship. She’s invested enough to hold on to his companionship, even as she’s setting reasonable boundaries for just how involved they’ll be, and she doesn’t totally break down until he reveals his horcruxes. But by then, they’ve built up enough trust for her to eventually accommodate them.

The challenge was to write this relationship progression so that it wasn’t a toxic dynamic. Too much blind acceptance from Hermione and Tom becomes manipulative; too much concession from Tom and he loses his essence. There are so many decisions along the way in this story that resulted from long discussions with myself about what would actually be believable. The idea of starting a university, for example, was a major leap of faith for me, because I wasn’t sure if readers would think it was “enough” for Tom, but I’m so happy to see that a lot of people liked it. (It clicked for me as the right path when I thought about what became the dialogue: “Become Salazar Slytherin.” World domination isn’t the only form of power that I think Tom could enjoy.) And I really, really wanted no toxicity! One of my earliest planning notes from the story is that Hermione should always have the ability to walk away unharmed. Tom keeping her around through threats was not allowed.

I hope that the themes that come through, for readers, are acceptance and communication. It’s a story that meditates on the work it would take to build their relationship. It’s not particularly dramatic, there’s not much of a plot, and they’re very clearly versions of the characters that are slanted in a favorable direction for my aims. However, I think both Hermione and Tom are recognizable, and I’m really pleased with the slower pace that I think is afforded by their ages/life circumstances. If you read it, I hope you enjoy it!

#tomione #Tom Riddle #Hermione Granger #hermione x tom #tom x hermione #hpff #ao3 #ysk

[martinskis-lydias]

i could be your love right now

pairing: Scott/Lydia, Stiles/Derek (mentioned)

word count: 1865

warning: none

notes: sex is discussed (not in detail and not actually had in the story), also, though it isn’t explicitly stated, scott is pansexual because that’s how i see him and also i said so

“It’s not fair! You’re winning because of the werewolf thing,” Stiles whined as Scott beat him at yet another Mario Kart race.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s because you’re three beers in. It’s not my fault you’re drinking,” Scott laughed.

“Stupid werewolf metabolism. Three isn’t even that much,” Stiles muttered. He threw himself onto his mattress, sighing dramatically.

“What’s up man? You’ve been… quiet all night,” Scott said. “Well, quiet for you,” he added. Stiles glared at him.

“Shut up. It’s nothing, I just… I came to a realization earlier this week and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing. If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone,” Stiles confessed.

“I promise,” Scott said, turning to give Stiles his full attention. “I just want to help man.”

“Okay. Okay,” Stiles was muttering, hyping himself up. Scott just waited quietly. “I think I’m in love with Derek,” he whispered.

Scott was silent for a minute, a little caught off guard. But he forced himself to say something when he saw how anxious Stiles was getting.

“What about Lydia?” Scott asked. Nice.

Stiles snorted. “Dude, I haven’t been in love with Lydia for, like, a year.”

“Oh,” was all Scott could say to that. He was trying to ignore the warm feeling in his chest that was growing, the feeling he’d been ignoring for a while now. The feeling he refused to name.

He shook his head. “Okay, so, you’re in love with Derek. When did that start? And why are you not sure if that’s a good thing?”

“I don’t know exactly when it started, but we’ve been spending so much time together the last couple months. At first it was because we were working on that dragon thing, but then I started studying over there, which meant we started talking. And then we hung out a few times, and I don’t know…” Stiles trailed off. “And what do you mean ‘why am I not sure?’ This is Derek we’re talking about! Derek Hale, the guy whose league is so far from mine that I can’t even see it! And even if by some small, remote chance he did like me back, he’s a complete martyr and thinks he doesn’t deserve anything good in his life.”

Scott had to admit that Derek was indeed someone who, occasionally, refused to let himself have anything that would make him happy.

“Well, firstly, I don’t think Derek is out of your league. And before you argue,” Scott said, raising his voice when Stiles opened his mouth to do just that, “I’m not saying that because we’re friends. As a dude who is quite fluid on the sexuality scale, you’ve gotten very attractive in the last couple years. College has been good for you, and if you weren’t my brother, I’d probably be interested in you.”

Stiles was blushing furiously now. Scott smirked. He really hadn’t been lying, Stiles had grown into himself since they’d graduated high school.

“Well, that doesn’t change the fact that Derek isn’t interested in me. And if he was, he wouldn’t say anything, or let himself give this a shot,” Stiles argued stubbornly.

“Okay, pal. You tell yourself that,” Scott replied sarcastically.

“What’s with the tone?” Stiles asked suspiciously. Scott shrugged. “No Scotty! You don’t get to use that tone and then pretend it didn’t mean anything! What do you know?”

“Well, I can’t say I know something… But I can make a few educated guesses,” Scott said.

“Scott, if you don’t tell me, I will tell your mom that you’re the one that ruined her rose bush in the seventh grade, not a stray dog,” Stiles threatened.

“Okay, okay! All I know is that, while Derek is a lot more sociable now, you’re the person that he spends the most time with. By a long shot. And he visits you on campus. And he relaxes every time you’re around. And he stares at you a lot when you aren’t looking,” Scott admitted.

He was pretty sure Derek had been in love with Stiles since he’d moved back to Beacon Hills two years ago, but he hadn’t realized Stiles felt the same. And it wasn’t his secret to tell. So he hadn’t said anything. But if he could help them be happy now, he would.

Stiles didn’t say anything for a while. Scott let him process everything and used the silence to think about his own feelings.

Stiles wasn’t in love with Lydia anymore. He hadn’t been for a while now. That didn’t necessarily mean that Lydia felt the same, but Scott couldn’t stop the hope that was building up in his chest. Maybe… Maybe he could try and figure it out. Maybe he had a chance.

“Hey man, would you be able to give me a ride to Derek’s? I think I should talk to him,” Stiles asked after a while.

“Yeah dude, of course.”

 After dropping Stiles off, Scott drove to his favourite bakery. He figured a coffee, a muffin, and some time to himself might help him think everything over. While he sat, he went over everything he knew about his and Lydia’s relationship.

Lydia had always stuck by him.

She’s loyal to her friends and Pack, his brain argued.

Lydia always came to him first when she had a problem that she needed help with or just wanted to rant.

You’re her Alpha, that’s your job.

She touched his arm and held his hand a lot.

Pack is tactile, and she’s always been like that with you.

Sometimes she said things to him that could be seen as flirting…

You’re just seeing what you want to see.

He groaned and banged his forehead on the table, probably a little harder than was necessary.

“One of those days, huh?” A voice said from the other side of the table.

He resisted the urge to groan again; he knew that voice. If he was being honest with himself (which he seemingly was), it was his favourite voice in the world.

“Uh, yeah. Just dealing with some new information,” Scott said sheepishly, looking up at Lydia. When he finally saw her face he was a little speechless. He would probably never get used to how unbelievably pretty she was.

After a second of staring he shook himself. “Sorry, do you want to sit?” He asked, realizing he was probably being rude.

She just smiled at him, the smile that made his brain melt and his heart stutter and his palms sweat.

“So, do you want to talk about this new information?” She asked, taking a sip of her coffee and picking a chocolate chip off his muffin that he’d picked apart more than ate.

“Well, I just dropped Stiles off at Derek’s house so Stiles could admit that he’s in love with Derek,” he said. He figured that was a safe conversation.

“Oh finally. Maybe those two idiots will get their heads out of their asses and stop dancing around each other,” Lydia said exasperatedly.

Scott laughed.

“So, is that why you were banging your head on the table?”

Fuck. He’d been hoping that Stiles and Derek’s pining would be a much longer conversation.

“Uh, not exactly.” He couldn’t look at her so he picked at a chip in the table instead.

“Okay. If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to Scott,” Lydia told him.

He looked up at her then and for some reason he suddenly couldn’t take one more moment where she didn’t know how he felt. Maybe it was the soft, concerned look in her eyes or the understanding in her tone or the fact that her scent and heartbeat made him feel safe and calm.

Maybe she didn’t feel the same, maybe she did. Either way, Lydia and he were friends, they were Pack, and she deserved to know and make the decision for herself.

“I love you,” Scott admitted. “I’m in love with you Lydia, and I have been for a while. But I kept finding excuses not to say anything but I don’t think that’s fair to either of us. I understand if you don’t feel the same and if this is weird –”

“Scott, shut up,” Lydia said quietly. He immediately stopped his babbling. “I love you, too.” She didn’t say anything else. What else was there to say really? Did it matter how long they’d felt this way? Why they hadn’t said anything? Were they sure?

But Lydia Martin was not someone who said something she didn’t mean. And in this moment all that mattered was that they both loved each other and now they both knew.

“Do you want to go to dinner?” He asked instead, and the smile on her face grew.

“I would love to go to dinner with you,” she answered.

He stood, grabbed her hand to help her out of her seat, and immediately pulled her into a kiss.

It wasn’t like the earth stopped moving, or the world disappeared. He didn’t feel fireworks or any of the other things that movies tell you a first kiss feels like. It was just a perfect kiss with the person he hoped he would get to kiss for the rest of his life.

It was over quickly (they were still in a public place) and he smiled at her again.

“Well, while I would like to keep doing that…” He held out his hand and she took it, laughing.

“Dinner, then. And maybe after you can take me back to my place and we can see what we’ve been missing out on these past couple years,” Lydia said, quietly enough that he was the only one who caught it.

Scott tripped over his own feet, caught a little off guard. He couldn’t say he’d never thought about sex with Lydia (it was Lydia, of course he’d thought about it) but he really hadn’t asked her to dinner with that in mind.

“I’m not expecting… I really had no ulterior motives when I asked you to dinner,” he assured her. He held open her door while she got in the car.

“I know. That’s why I’m not waiting,” Lydia told him. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “Most people I date are mainly interested in me because they want to sleep with me. But you aren’t like that. You love who I am and the fact that I’m attractive is just an added bonus.”

Scott could only nod, because that was exactly how he felt about her. And he was so glad that she knew that, that she trusted him to really see her.

“I feel the same way about you,” she told him, running her fingers along his jaw. “And we’re both very attractive people who haven’t had sex in a while, and I have a feeling we’re going to be great at it. So, dinner?”

He growled, too turned on for words. He threw the car in reverse and started towards the restaurant. The sooner they got there, the sooner they could leave.

And he definitely wanted to get Lydia home so he could see if they lived up to her expectations.

#scydia #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #scott mccall #lydia martin #teen wolf #fanfic #writing #sciles #friendship #love confessions #i might write a second part #about the sterek conversation #i made this

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

finally. i decided to do this. anyways hello there, i am jake and today i want to talk about something; you see, if you are in the tf2 fandom, you probably know about heavymedic. Wherther you are a hardcore gamer who resents f2p’s or a person that never played the game but has trillions of notes on their art- you know heavymedic exists and most of all you probably ship it.

And I find that weird. In the few fandoms in my life I have been in I had never seen a single ship be so widely if not shipped, then accepted. Sure, maybe everyone in the GF fandom knows what Billdip is - for better or for worse. Sure, maybe the HS fandom is 70% shipping.

But I have never ever seen such a phenomenon in a prominent multiplayer game fandom. A fandom, sadly, oftentimes filled with toxicity. Overwatch is very similar here - yet ships are either a hot topic of discussion or straight up ignored. But TF2? In here for whatever reason we ship these two mercenaries. And in this essay I will try and find a reason or two why is that.

Apologies for any mistakes or incoherency. English is not my first language, I need to ramble, and my vocabulary is all over the place.

Content warning: mentions of homophobia, blood, death, mentions of WLW fetishization, nsfw mention. Also MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE TF2 COMICS.

Part 1: Canonical Evidence and Interactions

Let’s be honest: I could ramble about this one for days on end. But I’ll try and keep it short.

First and foremost we have the official videos. And of course the first thing that comes to mind is Meet the Medic.

At the very start of the part where Medic himself appears, we see him telling a joke about a particularly gruesome situation to Heavy.

He laughs along with him, visibly enjoying his company. He even smiles as he waits for another joke. Heavy only shows genuine fear a lot later.

And of course this damn scene always cracks me up. Medic slightly pinches Heavy’s cheek and strokes his lip gently (the other part is almost not noticeable unless you play the video at slow speed).

Of course we all know about the Hand Hold that happens somewhere halfway in the vid. I don’t think I have to explain the gayness in that. The fact their hands stay interlocked even after Medic helps Heavy up. The deep breath Medic takes because even he cannot handle the emotions. That few seconds is unresolved sexual tension manifest.

Overall the short shows a strong feeling of trust between these two. Medic confides in Heavy and reverse. Yeah he puts a baboon heart into his friend’s chest cavity but the fact (as proven at the end of the video) that Heavy was the first one to have an Ubercharge implanted into him shows that Medic at the very least considers him a lab rat.

I treat End of the Line as non-canonical, as do many others, and as such won’t discuss it here. But it will forever crack me up that Valve endorsed such levels of homoerotic subtext.

These two have some short moments in other videos, like for example in Invasion Heavy helps Medic up (CINEMATIC PARALLELS) but it’s nothing major so I guess I’ll skip forward.

Second is their interactions ingame. You might call me a weirdo for trying to find stuff in there but holy shit I have things to say and I’m going to say them.

You thought I was going to fanboy over the “i love this doktor” voiceline huh? Well not really. I wish these two had unique lines if they assist one another.

Heavy is literally listed on the official wiki as the “ideal medic buddy” and multiple pages on that exact wiki say some pretty interesting things.

I have to say something about the Gentleman’s Ushanka and/or Pocket Medic. They are both community cosmetics - but the fact they both got accepted by Valve says a lot. Above is text snipped from the actual wiki.

Last but not least: The Comics. Darned comics. The pair of mercenaries has basically no interaction - unless you count issue 6.

Heavy getting absolutely PISSED when Medic is killed by Ch*avy. Their reunion. Medic referring to Heavy by “my friend” in a totally straight way. Kind of sad Valve wasted an opportunity for them to hug. Maybe they knew their comic artist ships them and wanted to avoid having to answer the Question™.

Part 2: Dynamics

This part’s a bit trickier, mostly due to the reason that I’m new to this whole dynamic analysis thing. Yeah I’m good at spotting canonical evidence but very specific shipping dynamics often escape my gaze.

The most obvious one is Big Guy, Little Guy. Quoting the TVTROPES page:

[…] This trope describes a pair of guys who always fight together, are best friends forever, and quite often have a very obvious hierarchy: The little guy is often in charge […] The little guy is usually listed first, since he’s the leader, and they are always listed together, as if they are one entity. In fact, some episodes may center on the fact that they can’t live without each other. […] If this is a case of Brains and Brawn, the Big Guy is usually the Brawn, and the Little Guy the Brains. It’s almost never the other way around, but in some cases the Big Guy can be rather smart too. […]

A sub-type of this, a common favorite here on Tumblr is known as “small chaotic big calm” and hoo boy if that isn’t these two. I don’t really have much to say here - again I am not an expert.

Part 3: Fandom Impact

So you don’t think Red Oktoberfest (as Heavymedic is sometimes called) is super popular on anywhere else than Tumblr? Wrong.

It’s hard to find TF2 fics on Archive of Our Own not tagged with Heavy/Medic. Of course most of them only contain hints to their relationship but go in the main tf2 tag and I can guarantee you, you’ll gonna see “implied heavy/medic” all the time.

But these two go further than AO3 or Tumblr or Instagram or whatever. They are recognized even within the wider circle of the fanbase. Take this SFM, for example. (I am using the Saxxy Awards version of Secret Lives here mostly due to the fact that the Heavymedic moment is much gayer. In the normal version, the dialogue isn’t changed, but they simply hold hands.)

But it gets deeper. (WARNING: THE GAY MOMENT IN THIS ONE IS NSFW. NOT EXPLICITLY SO BUT JUST A HEADS UP TUMBLR PLEASE DO NOT FLAG ME)

And the best part? The comments are extremely positive. You’d expect hoards upon hoards of homophobes screeching but no, the comments are supportive. Even on places such as Reddit or Youtube, comments like “yeah they’re gay and in love” do not get downvoted/disliked to hell; in fact the opposite.

Part 4: Canon Status

Let’s be real. Most ships are shipped because people want to explore the dynamics in fanfic, fanart or something else. But Heavymedic is shipped because… well, I have no idea.

Actually, I kind of do - but only theories. You see, while the canonical evidence is here, the creators have never said anything about them. No confirmation, no disproval, no hinting, nothing.

But the ship is so prominent! There has to be something causing this!- you say. And to that I present you 2 theories on why Heavy/Medic is so popular.

Theory number 1 states that we simply all choose to interpret their interactions as homoerotic. And this is very easy to disprove - there’s simply no way we just collectively agreed on these matters out of nothing. There has to be something bigger.

And theory 2 states that, well, our interpretation is the desired interpretation. But this is even more ridiculous than theory 1 for a number of reasons. If they are in fact gay, why hasn’t Valve made them canon yet?

A Theoretical Scenario

I am going to ramble big time on this one, so buckle up lads. I’ll discuss a theoretical scenario in which, well, if that was not obvious, Valve confirms Heavymedic as canon. Maybe then we will see why they will probably never do so.

TF2 is considered by typical capital G, alt-right Gamers as a “non-political” game. This means no women (in the game itself, at least, and if even, sexy women only), no queer folk and no minorities (for some reason they accept Demoman but throw a fit if someone draws any other merc as not being pearl white). Team Fortress 2 was around before Gamergate and other things like Gamers Rise Up. It’s a classic and Valve is regarded as the good guy to Epic Game’s bad guy. If Valve did anything to confirm doubts, wherther it be clearing up popular fanon or confirming ships, these people would throw hands. (Although they seemed to ignore when one of the writers confirmed Miss Pauling is a lesbian. Huh.) Even those that don’t play TF2 would come to the aid of their bros.

Let me illustrate with two very similar examples. In both cases these confirmations were the first made by the company as a whole, both are fairly recent and both confirm a character as gay.

First we have the confirmation of Tracer from Overwatch as a lesbian. It was done in one of OVW’s comics. Tracer is the FACE of Overwatch as a whole and while most of the fanbase accepted it (thankfully the Gamers are reluctant to infest ow), some people threw what I can only describe as a hissy fit. At least her girlfriend’s a background character.

Second is Neeko from League of Legends. Unlike Tracer she was added a while before it was confirmed she was gay. LOL is much more toxic and filled with Gamers than OW and holy shit people smeared LOL so much.

Of course these are not accurate to Heavy/Medic. In both of the cases I listed it was girls being wlw and we all know how much cisgender heterosexual gamers LOVE yuri porn. Apparently only girls can be gay because they can jack off to it - if it’s two guys then it’s disgusting. Nevertheless I think these are good approximations - in every case the company gets “shat on” on social media and other sites. With the community that Valve has, I think even if they wanted them to be gay, they would never ever confirm it.

Conclusion

I’m sorry for that ending. I had to theorize a bit. Regardless I’d love if you shared this on other sites, reblogged or whatever - I wasted at least 1 and a half hours of my life on it. Feel free to cite this as a source if someone asks you why you ship the big heavy weapons expert and the feral battle medic.

#my post #text post #tf2 #medic #heavy #heavymedic #long post

[glassprism]

Since you're also in other fandoms, are there any ships/pairings you like? Who's your favourite pairing in POTO? Who are your favourite characters (from POTO to all your other fandoms) and why? Ooh, here's a rather unusual one: who's your favourite side character (name one for all your fandoms!) and why?

Yeah, definitely! Though whether some can be counted as actual “ships” is debatable, as you’ll see in a bit.

For Phantom, my favorite “ship” is the love triangle - E/C/R. Not in a polyamorous, threesome way, but one where I love the dynamics of the characters, the way they affect one another, the ways Erik and Raoul are similar and different. So it’s not quite a “ship” in a traditional sense where I want characters to end up with each other, but more in the sense that I like to explore and analyze them.

As for other “ships” or pairings, I’m just going to list, like, every fandom or random-ass thing I’ve ever loved in semi-chronological order (time to go back to my middle school fandoms!). Under the cut for length.

Harry Potter: Sirius Black and Harry Potter. I adored the godfather-godson bond between the two (absolutely no romance; I clicked on an mpreg fic of the two when I was but a wee lass of twelve and it scarred me): how Harry was the last living reminder of Sirius’s best friend, whose death he still feels responsible for; how Sirius is the parental figure Harry wanted, how they were never able to be happy god damn it Rowling. (You can imagine how much my eleven year old self cried when I read the fifth book. Oh boy, the tears.)

Star Wars: Vader and Luke. Again, totally familial, father-son relationship only. (Speaking of scarring experiences, I once stumbled on a romance fic between the two, where yes, both of them were still father and son, and I have that summary etched into my brain permanently.) The way Vader obsessively hunts down Luke, the first emotional connection he has had with a person in literal decades! The way Luke has just ached all his life for a father figure, to the point where he will take a homicidal Sith lord if that’s who he is! How he never gives up on trying to redeem him! How Luke is right. Loud screeching.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Will Turner and Bootstrap Bill and Will Turner and Henry Turner. More sad father-son dynamics (you may be noticing a pattern here). Repeat what I said with the Star Wars relationships, only with more pirates and less homicide. (And way more parental abandonment guilt.)

Halloween: Michael Myers and Laurie Strode,  remake universe. Yet again, no romance, just a severely messed-up brother-sister relationship. I can’t begin to tell you why I like the horrific relationship between a serial killer and the little sister he was so obsessed with he ruined her life, completely traumatized her, and ended up leading to her death, but I do. Maybe it’s the dark obsession aspect of it, that in the midst of all his murders, there’s still one person Michael Myers longs to have a connection with, the baby sister who represented total innocence in his mind. Maybe it’s the “what could have been” aspect too, as Laurie never recognizes him or realizes their connection until it’s far too late. Maybe I need to re-examine my life choices. I’ll figure it out someday.

Bat Boy The Musical: Bat Boy/Shelley. Yes, this is a romance; yes, they are half-brother and half-sister, yes, you can get on me about this, but in my defense how about you watch the musical and NOT come out of it shipping these two against all your better instincts.

POTO: E/C/R, as stated above and for all those reasons. Oh, and you know what - The Phantom and Gustave from Love Never Dies. Can’t get away from those father-son ships. I actually care about that relationship than E/C or R/C in LND (maybe because both E/C and R/C suck in the sequel so what else am I going to latch onto).

Batman: Listed here, but my heart really lies with three ships. Jaytim is the first: it’s the whole “angry woobie destroyer of worlds who hates everyone meets seemingly well-adjusted and cheerful individual who is secretly hiding their own issues” dynamic. Bane/Talia from The Dark Knight Rises is the second. Doesn’t matter if it’s familial, friendship, protector and protectee, or romantic, I eat it up, and to be fair, it’s never explicitly stated what the relationship is in the movie. All we know is that the two grew up together in a hellhole prison, probably dependent on and solely trusting only one another, and that bond continues even after they leave, and not even death will make them leave one another. Finally, we have Jason Todd/therapy from the Arkham games. Because the poor guy needs it.

MCU: STEVE/BUCKY (aka Stucky). This ship (again, could be friendship or romantic) dominated my thoughts for four years. Steve’s fish-out-of-water status! Bucky’s horrific imprisonment under Hydra. The way the two find each other after and the angst. The fact that Steve refuses to kill Bucky and, even after seventy years, succeeds in breakthing through to him because their connection runs that deep. The fact that Marvel just ruined this relationship so now I have to rely on fanfic. Oh yes, and I also slowly fell into the Kastle ship (Frank Castle aka The Punisher and Karen Page). Another “hardened killer with sad backstory who connects to idealistic young woman with hidden darkness” dynamic.

Terminator: T-800 aka “Uncle Bob” and John Connor. Returning to sad father-son dynamics, I have this from Terminator 2. A robot learning emotions! A boy learning to take his place as a leader and all-loving hero. The bond they form, partially because the T-800 will do nothing else but protect John and partially because John has no father-figure of his own, so his robot bodyguard will do. THE ENDING.

ASOIAF/GOT: I actually have very few ships from here other than Arya/Gendry (and only when they’re older) and, weirdly, Theon/Sansa from the show. The Gendrya ship is just cute, it may well be the most wholesome ship on here, while Theonsa has shades of Stucky in it, I suppose, given that Theon has been tortured so badly he can barely remember his own name, until Sansa turns up and reminds him enough that he breaks out of it to help her.

Favorite characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: My favorite characters from here are probably more side characters, so I’ll just say Hermione Granger. Her focus on academics, fear of failure, and conviction that the library holds all the answers, felt all too reminiscent of myself.

Star Wars: Darth Vader,  no contest whatsoever. Cool mask, cool cape, cool lightsaber, and the absolute worst life one can imagine.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Interestingly, Will Turner. Yeah, I guess Jack Sparrow is cool and Elizabeth is absolutely awesome to watch and has the greatest change in the series, but oh-so-serious Will, with his deep loyalties and slow slide into moral ambiguity because of those loyalties, fascinates me.

Halloween: Laurie Strode, all versions. My favorite final girl, my survivor of trauma (except in the remake, where, well, she doesn’t survive). Also, her daughter in the Thorn trilogy, Jamie Lloyd, the most tragic little girl to walk across a horror movie screen.

Bat Boy The Musical: Ah, wow, haven’t thought about this. I guess Bat Boy and Shelley, more by default than anything.

POTO: Christine Daae, no contest. Love her character, love her arc, love her songs, love her costumes.

Batman: Listed here.

MCU: Bucky Barnes (unless he counts as a side character), but I also love Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Karen Page, Elektra Natchios... and I’ll leave it at that.

Terminator: John Connor. (There’s a reason I haven’t watched Dark Fate yet... or ever.)

ASOIAF/GOT: Three of them! Daenerys Targaryen, who I love because she tries so hard to rule well, who is so observant and cognizant of the things going on around her. Then Sansa Stark, who makes such astounding growth, who retains her empathy and compassion throughout, who is capable of startling perception and insight which most others underestimate. And finally, Cersei Lannister. She’s terrible. I love her.

And favorite side characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: Sirius Black may well have been my first fictional crush. But Remus Lupin is the kind of person (and teacher) I aspire to be.

Batman: I swear, depending on the comic series or movie, everyone is a side character. I’ll just link to my old ask again.

Star Wars: Batman syndrome all over again; every character in Star Wars might be a side character elsewhere, and every side character gets to be the main character of their own comic, book, movie, etc. Erm... I really liked Rose from the sequel trilogy and Chirrut Imwe from Rogue One. I find Mara Jade from the Legends universe fun to read. WAIT I GOT IT - Queen Amidala’s handmaidens from Episode I (Sabe, Rabe, Eirtae, Yane, Sache). Highly trained in both politics, decorum, and weaponry, able to be utterly nondescript or the Queen’s decoy at the drop of a hat? I love.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Hmm... you know what, I thought Syrena the mermaid was pretty cute.

Halloween: Rachel Carruthers! Your typical girl-next-door but well done and with a touching relationship with her foster sister. I will die mad about her death in the fifth movie.

Bat Boy The Musical: Uh.... I’ll get back to you on this...

POTO: Carlotta is super fun.

MCU: Oh heck, Dottie Underwood. (My taste in female characters goes like this: a) intelligent and observant, 2) sweet and compassionate, 3) batsh*t insane. She’s the third.)

Terminator: Not sure how much of a side character she is, but Kate Connor. Wife and second-in-command to John Connor, able to heal wounds and kick butt depending on what the movie requires.

ASOIAF/GOT: I’ll probably think of someone else, but you know what? Queen Rhaenys Targaryen, younger sister and wife to Aegon the Conqueror, whom he wed out of desire. Playful, spirited, loved to fly, sponsored musicians, initiated reforms for the smallfolk, what’s not to love? (Apart from one possibility of her death... but we don’t talk about that.)

#Anonymous #GP gets asks

[seriestrash]

So What Now?

- a tyrus one shot -

Summary: The bench scene aftermath. What comes next?

Word Count: 1799

(read on ao3)

♡ ♡ ♡

Cyrus looks down at his hand cupped in TJ’s, a wide smile plastered on his face. This. This is what he’s been wanting for the longest time now. It felt completely right and yet unreal all at the same time. So much so that Cyrus was genuinely terrified about waking up and finding out it was all a dream. 

“So..” TJ lets out a nervous chuckle and it snaps Cyrus out of his trance. 

TJ might have nervously reached out for Cyrus after they both coyly fished for the other to admit to what they hoped would be requited feelings and although that completely welcomed handhold was a relief, there was so much more Cyrus wanted to discuss. Before Cyrus gets the chance to open up though, they’re interrupted when his name is called. 

“Cyrus?” Buffy’s voice calls out in search of him although she’s not visible. 

Cyrus quickly pulls his hand free from TJ before his best friend surfaces from inside. Cyrus shoots a nervous side glance to TJ and notices the blonde boys expression has dropped. Cyrus frowns a little, hoping TJ knew he didn’t mean anything bad by his action. He actually did it to protect TJ as they hadn’t yet got to discuss just how open TJ was about things. 

“Sorry,” Buffy apologises as she senses she’s interrupted something, “I can come back later.” 

“No, it’s fine.” TJ smiles, “I’m going to go inside and catch up with Marty.” 

“The party is winding up but Marty’s still here.” Buffy can’t help but giggle softly as a result of talking about Marty. 

TJ gives her a confused look for her giddiness but spilts without further question. 

“Did I totally ruin a moment?” Buffy asks with a worried expression as she sits down. “Were you about to tell him? Did you already tell him?” Buffy gets more excited with each passing question. 

“To be continued.” Is all Cyrus offers up in an attempt to brush past it. As much as Cyrus wanted to shout what happened from the rooftop he didn’t want to talk about something in case TJ wasn't ready to. Also, it’s not like Cyrus really knew all the details of that something anyway. 

“I have a good feeling.” Buffy’s smile is wide. “There’s a certain magic in the air tonight.” 

“Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?” Cyrus jokes with a laugh. 

Buffy rolls her eyes but her smile remains. “I heard Kira left pretty early on.” 

“She did.” Cyrus nods. “But I’m more interested in this goofy smile you’ve been wearing since you came outside. Does it have anything to do with a certain someone whose name rhymes with party?” 

Buffy buries her cheek against her shoulder. “I told Marty I like him.” 

“And I’m assuming the feeling was mutual?” Cyrus asks, genuinely ecstatic for his friend. 

Buffy nods with her smile unwavering. “He kissed me. My first kiss.” 

“I want one of those.” Cyrus says longingly. 

“A kiss from Marty?” Buffy jokes. 

“Ew, don’t be gross.” Cyrus gives her a playful shove and giggles become them both. “A first kiss from someone that’s not a girl. No offence to Iris.” 

Buffy lets out a quiet laugh. “It will happen for you, Cyrus.” 

“I know.” Cyrus smiles. “Just not tonight.” 

“You never know. There is a magic in the air.” Buffy restates with a grin. 

“Magic or not I don’t think I’m quite ready for that just yet.” Cyrus half smiles. 

“Not ready for what?” Andi’s voice interrupts them as she takes a seat on the bench. “Is this about TJ? Do we not like him again?” 

“No, things are fine with TJ.” Cyrus shakes his head. “We like TJ. I’ve never not liked TJ.” He adds with a nervous laugh.

“Oh, good. So are we going to tell TJ you like him then?” Andi is excited. 

“We aren’t going to tell him anything.” Cyrus laughs. 

“We are there in spirit.” Andi mumbles as she folds her arms with a pout. 

“I love you guys.” Cyrus gushes as he looks back and forth between his two longest friends. “We might all fall in love with someone or multiple someones one day but I want you two to know you were my first loves.” 

“Cyrus, you’re going to make me cry.” Andi cups her chest and Buffy appears just as touched. 

“Why are you making Andi cry?” Jonah appears and shortly after they’re all joined by Bex and Bowie too. 

The group all sit around the fire and reflect on the night. Andi shows them her now empty shack and shares her art school news. After an emotional goodbye to an era, Cyrus is getting ready to leave the party. As he exits the house he notices TJ sitting on the porch steps. 

“TJ, I thought you left.” Cyrus is happy to see him. 

“I was hoping we could walk home together?” TJ stands. 

“I was going to call my dad but I’d enjoy the walk.” Cyrus nods. 

The two head down the street together, a slight awkwardness lingers between them. 

“I didn’t mean to pull my hand away.” Cyrus finally speaks up and frowns to himself, looking at his feet as they walk. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain.” TJ shakes his head. 

“No I do.” Cyrus insists, “I didn't want to let go.” 

“You didn’t?” TJ asks sheepishly. 

“No. I just wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with Buffy seeing us.” Cyrus explains. 

“I guess I hadn’t thought about that.” TJ states. 

“Is there an us?” Cyrus asks bravely although his heart was pounding aggressively in his chest. 

“I hope so.” TJ’s fingers brush lightly against Cyrus’ again, this time he grabs Cyrus’ hand more confidently. 

Cyrus smiles at their locked hands for a moment. “We should probably talk about a few things...” 

“Probably.” TJ agrees. “You start, you’re better at talking.” 

Cyrus didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing but he does take the lead, “So just to be clear this isn’t a friendly handhold?” 

TJ rolls his head forward with a laugh, “No, Cyrus. I like you.” 

“Just checking it’s not some progressive male friendship thing.” Cyrus laughs too. “I like you too,” he adds more softly. 

“I was hoping you did.” TJ says with a smile. 

“So you like me, do you know if you’re-” 

“Gay.” TJ says with a nod and quietly proud of himself. “And you?” 

Cyrus nods. “Have you told anyone?” 

“Just my mom. I’ve been kind of scared to tell people.” TJ admits.

“There’s no rush to tell people. It’s something you get to share when you’re ready.” Cyrus is very understanding.

TJ smiles already feeling more at ease with this conversation, “Have you told anyone?”

“I’ve told Buffy, Andi, Jonah and my parents- All in that order.” Cyrus is riddled with nervous chuckles he can’t help. 

“Wow.” TJ is almost envious Cyrus has opened up so much. “Do your friends know you like me?” He asks sheepishly. 

“My feelings have become increasingly obvious lately.” Cyrus laughs. “I didn’t have to tell them. Buffy and Andi worked it out.” 

“And Jonah?” TJ questions. 

“He hasn’t mentioned it but I wouldn’t be surprised if even he knew at this point.” Cyrus chuckles. 

“Do they think I like you?” TJ asks. 

Cyrus shrugs as he didn't know how to answer. None of his friends explicitly speculated TJ’s feelings but it was always heavily implied when discussing Cyrus’ feelings. “Are you comfortable with me talking to Andi and Buffy about you?” Cyrus asks, “Maybe even Jonah?” 

TJ appears to be thinking about it for a second but quickly nods lightly. “Maybe I could talk to them first? ... Tell a few people about myself.” 

“I think that’s a great idea.” Cyrus affirms, “Spoiler alert, they’re going to be really supportive.” Cyrus adds at an almost whisper with a warm smile. 

TJ smiles too and nervously he asks, “Are you okay if I talk to my mom about you?” 

“You want to talk about me with your mom?” Cyrus’ looks touched, he even has to bite down on his smile. 

“I might have already talked about you a little.” TJ looks away embarrassed. 

“Did she tell you about my embarrassing farewell fumble the other week?” Cyrus frets and TJ can’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah she did.” TJ says with a smile, “She also told me she likes you.” 

“Well that’s a relief.” Cyrus exhales in relief, hearing TJ’s mom approved of him gave Cy a new set of warm and fuzzies.

The two near Cyrus’ house and stop outside his front door. “So what now?” Cyrus questions. “What are we?” 

“I don’t know.” TJ admits with furrowed brows. “Are we... together?” 

“Are we ready for that?” Cyrus asks seriously. 

“I don’t know.” TJ repeats, his expression remaining the same. 

“Well we are both still working on telling everyone who we are.” Cyrus begins, “Maybe we work on that first?” 

“So I should stop holding your hand?” TJ swings their locked arms between them. 

“Let’s not go doing anything crazy.” Cyrus jokes, his grip still tightly on TJ’s hand and the basketball captain laughs softly. 

“Let’s work on the bigger picture.” TJ nods. 

“What’s the bigger picture, coming out or us?” Cyrus glances down at their hands for a moment before finding TJ’s eyes again, with a look like TJ’s answer could disappoint him. 

“It all looks like one picture to me.” TJ smiles softly and Cyrus’ own smile grows wider. 

“To be continued.” Cyrus says perfectly content with their understanding that whilst working on living their truth for everyone to see, their feelings still exist to be built on at a pace their both comfortable with. 

“I’m happy, Cyrus but I’d be lying if I didn’t say this all terrifies me.” TJ exhales nervously. 

“Me too.” Cyrus smiles empathetically, “But we’re going to be okay. You can trust me, Thelonious Jagger Kippen.” Cyrus smiles. 

“I do.” TJ’s grin is soft, “I always have.” TJ leans forward and plants a soft kiss on Cyrus’ cheek sending tingles down his spine and flooding both their stomachs with butterflies. Cyrus needed no more or no less in that moment, that was perfect. Magical even.

“To be continued.” TJ reiterates with a grin. 

The two spend the rest of the school year building on the feelings they have for one another, their immediate circle of friends were in the know but other than that it was new, quiet and mostly just for them. On the last day of school TJ kissed Cyrus and didn’t mind who saw. The two spend their summer dating and by the beginning of their freshman year the two were well and truely offical and out for the world to see. 

x

End Notes: my heart guys, my whole damn heart ahhhh

#andi mack #tyrus #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #thelonious jagger kippen #buffy driscoll

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

‘Til the End of the Line (or Not) OR: See? We TOLD You “No Homo.” Love, Markus and McFeely

*****WARNING: 99.9% SALT!! Contains spoilers for Avengers Endgame!!****

I guess this is part two of my personal processing of Endgame. @pitchforkcentral86 was not satisfied by my timey-wimey Endgame post, which centered on Steve’s choice to go back in time to be with Peggy and the implications of that choice. She remarked that yeah, it’s great that Steve might not be a total piece of crap, Pym particles, yada yada, whatever, but it still didn’t make her feel any less despair over this ending.

The source of her agony: Steve and Bucky’s relationship and its utter lack of satisfying resolution. So I shall address that now, because I think I feel worse about that than anything, and I can’t explain it away with Pym particles.

Anyone who has any investment at all in the relationship between Bucky and Steve — whether you are a Stucky person or whether you view them as platonic but deeply connected best friends — has probably had to spend the last two movies scraping around the floor, searching for crumbs, signs, any hints that these two people care about each other. We have been begging the Russos, the screenwriters Markus and McFeely, anyone who would listen, for anything to suggest that they are even on the barest of speaking terms, let alone that they have the intensity of relationship that the MCU spent 3+ movies explicitly convincing us that they have. I’ll even come out and say that although I ship Stucky in fandom and fic hardcore, I am not an MCU canon Stucky person per se. I’m 100% fine if the MCU wants to treat this as a deep, fraternal friendship. In fact, I see some benefits to this interpretation. How wonderful if men could love each other so deeply and have it NOT be sexual or romantic. But I’m also 100% fine with people interpreting this as romantic love, and there were times throughout this franchise where the actors, various parties in production, and Marvel itself has been agnostic on the subject, if not encouraging of gay interpretations of their relationship. Let it be what you want, fans have been told. Or just flat out post a pic of Steve and Bucky on #National Boyfriend Day like Civil War comic writer Mark Millar. Sure. At times, it almost felt safe to ship them. As soon as Civil War drew to a close, however, it started becoming... inconvenient for Bucky and Steve to be together. Steve needs to go to the Raft. Bucky needs to go into cryo. Steve needs to become Nomad and go secret avenging. Bucky needs to do his Vibranium Brain Magic (TM)/goat herding complex PTSD recovery program. Side note: Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is my provisional diagnosis based on virtually nothing, because Bucky’s character has gotten so little substantive screen time that we can only guess at his psychological state, save what can be conveyed through glistening eyes and woobieface and “... but I did it.” Wow. Bowl me over, you really got me right in the McFeelys. Though +1000 to SebStan for working what he got to work with to the max. That motherfucker can act. We know for certain approximately jack shit about Bucky’s internal experience post-Winter Soldier. And so, like pretty much everything with Bucky and this friendship/ship arc, I will just guess at what is actually wrong with him. But after 70 years as a POW being tortured and possibly gaslit and definitely brainwashed, that is almost the textbook recipe for complex PTSD, so imma go with that. Returning to this distance. Now, it first appears to be largely logistical in nature. Steve is over here, Bucky is over there. Golly, just too busy to hang these days. All this secret avenging without you. And when we pine — pine — for the meaningful reunion of these two in IW, instead we got a “Hey brah, how's it hanging?” “You know, old and traumatized lol” exchange and a “let’s make sure our dicks don’t touch” back-slappy hug that lasted two seconds. This is without any hint as to whether these two have seen each other yet after Bucky’s de-thawing, leaving us to wonder whether this is really the big reunion we have been waiting for. 

(If we had audio, the sound would be 70% slapping.)

I’m going to pause here, because for many of us, this was devastating. After all, we were left with this shot of Steve as Bucky made the choice to go into cryo, a choice that seemed only somewhat justifiable on the vague grounds of “I can’t trust my own mind.” (Me either, pal.)

Ugh.

Perhaps this was also an avoidance strategy — easier to go back on ice than deal with the emotional fallout of what just happened. And who could blame him? He is probably still relearning how to cope effectively with things after his entire coping system was destroyed by his time with Hydra. But Steve was clearly disappointed or, at the very least, saddened by this. He gets something back just to lose it again. Enter distance. He leaves and goes avenging. Emotionally, perhaps this move to cryo created distance as well. Their relationship was on such fragile ground at this point, mostly an artifact from the ‘40s, and their chance to deepen it was taken away by the writers because Bucky wanted to go on ice for reasons and Steve needed to do Steve things. And so when IW rolled around, oh, did we want them to have a substantive reunion. But alas, we did not get that. We saw equally substantive exchanges between Bucky and Sam or Rocket and far more substantive exchanges between Steve and pretty much anyone else. And then we got the ultimate separation — (fake) death. Again. A traumatic, unplanned loss that costs another five years from their timeline, all before they even got the chance to properly re-establish a friendship. Again, I’m going off of what we actually see portrayed, not off of what we assume or would like to see. We have absolutely no idea how much Steve and Bucky interacted in Wakanda. But Steve busted Sam out of the Raft quite early, early enough that he still had a messed up face from the time Tony went in (unless he was getting beatings on the reg, which is possible). So if he was hanging with Sam since before Bucky went on ice, and Sam just visited Wakanda for the first time in IW, either Steve was borrowing the Quinjet to secretly visit Wakanda on his own to hang with Bucky, or he hadn’t been back to Wakanda since he left the first time. 

Regarding Steve visiting Wakanda between CW and IW — I found this bullshit from Markus and McFeely on the subject of whether Steve and Bucky met or talked prior to IW. The writers could not even agree about their own characters, with one saying that Steve and his crew probably visited Wakanda and hung out with Bucky and the other saying, eh, the two of them “maybe Skyped.” As to the former, this is not at all supported by the narrative or by logic. Infinity War is clearly Sam’s first time in Wakanda, with all that drama about “zomg you’re gonna hit those trees, bro!” as they are flying into the city. And why would Steve  leave his team alone and vulnerable, probably taking the Quinjet, their only form of reliable and safe transportation, so he could go visit Bucky alone? He’s not there for a booty call, y’all, because these guys have barely even rekindled their friendship. Moreover, the other secret avengers know how important Bucky is to Steve. This isn’t a secret. There would be no reason to go alone and no reason for T’Challa to forbid Nat, Sam, and Wanda from coming to Wakanda. So it makes no sense that Steve has visited Wakanda prior to IW, and thus, that would make IW their first meeting, which is… utter and heartbreaking garbage. But at least they had motherfucking SKYPE. MAYBE. Fuck. You. Very. Much. 

So, in the face of this shit reunion and Bucky’s subsequent dusting, some of us kindled hope for the upcoming Endgame. Perhaps we would get flashbacks. We knew there would be flashbacks or time travel because we saw stuff in the trailers and sneak peeks from the set. So maybe there would be something there to account for the utter lack of attention to their relationship in Infinity War. Again, this was the mere request that Markus and McFeely and the directors acknowledge wholeheartedly what they have been building for these characters since the beginning of their time in the MCU. This was not even strictly about Stucky. This was about doing justice for these characters as humans. But there were no flashbacks. Who knows what happened in Wakanda. We will have to fill in the blanks on our own. Not a single comment could be spared to even signal whether the IW Wakanda scene was their first time seeing each other since cryo.  “How’s that new arm treating you?” or “God, it’s been so long”/deep emotion would be all it would have taken to not keep us wondering one way or the other. This suggests a lack of consideration to the fans of these characters and this relationship — which, again, Markus and McFeely slaved to get us to pour our hearts into. So… Endgame. What was that? Bucky and Steve didn’t stand next to each other at Tony’s funeral. Okay. Bucky is not an A-list Avenger. He did kill Tony’s parents. Awkward. Bucky was comforted by Sam, his… guy he sat behind in the Volkswagen in Civil War and fought next to in IW, and he needed comfort apparently (?) because he… killed Martha and Howard Stark (??), which was sweet, and much more spontaneous affection than we’ve seen from Steve in an age, but what the actual fuck??? Was that Mickey Mouse standing behind the Iron Man 3 kid wearing a “Falcon and Winter Soldier” miniseries t-shirt?

And that ending. This was maybe the one implied nugget of friendship between them visible with an electron microscope. They obviously had at least one deep conversation about Steve deviating from the plan to go have a life, and they obviously had a discussion about who would succeed him as Cap. My dreams of Bucky Cap were dashed into dust, but as @pitchforkcentral86 said, it would have been cruel to give it to Bucky. Bucky would possibly have taken it if Steve kicked the bucket in EG, but it makes the most sense to be passed along in a planned way to Sam. So maybe they had at least one good conversation. Way, way off camera. Bucky said he would miss him. Recycled TFA line. Thank God it was not involving the words “jerk” and “punk.” Glistening woobie eyes. Steve leaving to go be with the one person who can make him feel like a whole human being, apparently, because there is nothing and nobody tethering him to this time in history anymore.

Whoa— wait— WHAT??? These are the moments where I literally double check the credits for the Cap movies to make sure that it says “Markus and McFeely.” Then I check the latest Avengers movies to make sure they also say “Markus and McFeely.” And they ALL DO!! The same two men painstakingly crafted the story of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, two men who — let’s be literal in the narrative here, for the sake of making a conservative argument — are best friends from childhood. They hammered on this story HARD, making sure that their relationship was so strong that by the time 2016 rolled around, the depth and intensity of their friendship and Steve’s commitment to it would tear the Avengers apart. And along the way, something else happened.

When you put two people in relationship like this, you have to know that there will be consequences. People will grow very emotionally invested in their relationship, because that is exactly what the writers were asking the audience to do. These dudes did their job, all right! And then something else happened, quite easily, even though these things will also happen under much harsher conditions: Stucky. Winter Soldier alone probably launched a hundred thousand ships for these two — gay, gay ships, so very gay, the glitteriest, gayest of cruise liners — from a hundred thousand ports around the globe. This ship has permeated pop culture even outside the fandom (some dumb gross man jokes from Screen Junkies within, but the Stucky shenanigans start at around 3:15).

And perhaps that’s when Markus and McFeely realized what a monster they created, one that would clash in ugly ways with their forthcoming (heterosexual) narrative, — their endgame for Steve. And so what did they do? Overcorrect. Wildly. Pull the plug. Bucky and Steve can’t fall out as friends completely, but what’s the next best thing? Give them almost zero screen time together, lest anyone be tempted to think they have a serious relationship — and again, I’m just talking friendship at this point, let alone anything else. Make their lines devoid of substance. Keep us wondering about the nature of their dynamic. Did the distance grow too great? Is Bucky not able to reconnect with anyone? Is Steve too busy? Too salty?? Who knows! These are possibilities, but none are explained. Then just poof Bucky off the face of the earth for 5 years to create existential distance. And in the meantime, ensure that Bucky is shown as not even a passing thought for Steve Rogers. Ensure that his name is never once uttered by Steve until he is about to leave him to go be with Peggy — oh except when, in a real dick move, when he emotionally whumps his past self with the news that Bucky is alive for the sole purpose of getting out of a stranglehold. At the same time, ensure that Steve is seen becoming single-mindedly fixated on Peggy Carter, and make sure the audience — including all those pesky Stucky shippers — knows that he considers her the “love of his life.” Ensure we see the compass with increasing frequency and with maximum longing. Insert Steve finding the absurd photograph of himself on the Director of SHIELD’s desk, facing the door for any junior colleague to see her pining over him like a schoolgirl long after he died, which is just about the least Peggy Carter thing I can ever imagine (and these people created and wrote for the Agent Carter TV series!!!).

Then give us our first openly gay person in the MCU. And drop him in the same scene that you confirm once and for all that Peggy Carter is the love of Steve Rogers’ life. Have Steve be so fucking cool with it that he makes us proud and relieved that he’s not a homophobe. Whew! Only… it makes us feel kind of gross, and maybe we can’t quite figure out why at first. But maybe it’s because it feels  personal, like a concession, like the writers and director knew exactly what they were doing to a lot of people who feel a very specific way about Steve’s sexuality and about his relationship with Bucky Barnes. It feels like a tone deaf nod to the fandom. Sorry, guys. No homo. We really did try to warn you with the whole Sharon Carter thing. (Sharon Carter, in an act of gross and misogynistic misuse, remains one of the most criminally mistreated characters in the entire MCU, arguably serving almost entirely as a “no homo” device before being completely discarded, never to be heard from again.)

Which got me thinking — was this move to distance Steve and Bucky so abruptly a reactive move? The divide between Steve and Bucky that happens in IW and EG feels so cold and inorganic. It does not feel at all driven by the natural arc of the characters as established by the creators themselves. It feels rushed and confusing, like it just needed to happen for plot convenience (though not even clearly that), and once again, we are left trying to figure out what the fuck is actually going on.

Part of that is probably needing to lay the groundwork for Steve’s feelings of alienation, which lead him to his ultimate choice to go back in time. He can’t feel too connected to Bucky or he won’t want to go back to be with Peggy. But could part of this also possibly be a reaction to how strongly Stucky was adopted by the public? Did Markus and McFeely realize how much more strongly we love the idea of Steve and Bucky — as friends or lovers, who cares? — rather than Steve and Peggy, which was probably their ending for Steve all along? Did they realize their terrible mistake of bringing them so close, endearing them to us so much, and then realize “OH SHIT,” and then slam on the brakes? Is that why IW and EG felt like absolute shit for their relationship, even for those who are not total endgame Stucky people?

Okay, but what if their friendship just ran its course? Friendships do that, even really deep ones. These two have had a huge chronological and experiential rift that never was really healed (thanks to our dear writers). Steve saved Bucky’s life thrice but they never really reconnected. Presumably. As far as we know in the narrative we are given by the writers. Okay. Let’s say you need to get Steve back with Peggy and for Bucky to become pals with Sam instead because contracts and actors. Whatever. Fine. But if you are going to play the “our friendship has come and gone” card, you need to fully PLAY IT. You can’t make it some vague option that might be true because we can’t figure out what the hell is going on. They need to have an actual conversation. For fuck’s sake, if we have time to fuck around with Korg and Miek on the couch and time to have Banner take selfies with kids and do stupid time gags and a bunch of other little shit, there is enough time to have a brief conversation somewhere to imply that “things have changed” or “people change” or something to imply that the writers were even thinking about the course of Bucky and Steve’s relationship as more than just a platform to launch Steve back to Peggy and launch Bucky toward Sam for their spinoff series.

There was just no depth. How can they give us three movies composed almost entirely of Mariana Trench levels of depth between these two men and then give us virtually nothing in IW and then next to nothing in EG to “round out” their entire storyline? The shape of the emotional momentum in this relationship is so wonky and dissatisfying, and the lack of comment on the dissolution of their friendship in the narrative, the fact that it isn’t even being acknowledged, is one of the worst parts. This relationship died without being honored or even attended to at the most basic level, after being told that it is perhaps the most important relationship in Steve and Bucky’s lifetimes and being shown evidence of that fact.

Moreover, let’s get real — calling Peggy the love of Steve’s life should do nothing to diminish his friendship with Bucky Barnes. That’s not how love works. You don’t just get one person. You can have a best friend — hell, you can have two best friends — and a woman you love. (And even moreover, you don’t have to leap back through time to find closeness just because you can. But that’s another matter with Steve’s character that I will address in a future speculative character analysis on Steve in an effort to explain how he got to this point, because I have a super depressing head canon about it involving traumatic grief and loss.) 

But just like comic book science, perhaps there are comic book rules about love and affinity. You only get one person, and Steve gets Peggy. And apparently Bucky gets Sam. Because contracts. But as I said before, I would have been okay if they had a dissolution of their friendship because that was the course of their friendship. Just tell us what is happening. Have the decency to respect your characters by giving their relationship a true arc, whatever it is. You can’t just recycle a TFA line and call it an arc. That is not an arc. Markus and McFeely goddamn know better and we know they know better, because we just saw a beautiful relationship arc closing with Tony and Pepper and, on a smaller scale, with Tony and Peter fucking Parker.

By the way, the small in-person and symbolic interactions between Tony and Peter in EG? Those are what high quality, emotionally salient, brief interactions between people who care about each other look like.

1. Tony’s picture of Peter in his kitchen: He can see from where he does his dishes. He looks at it meaningfully and thoughtfully before making a major plot-essential decision that risks his way of life.

2. Tony and Peter’s reunion hug: It starts off with some humor and classic Peter rambling. Becomes a full-ass, real hug. Nobody slaps the other’s back. Peter remarks, very sincerely, “oh, this is nice.”  <3

3. Tony’s death scene: Peter is visibly and truly wrecked. Tony looks at him in a heartfelt way. Words are unnecessary. It is perfect.

Bonus IW moment, because it is one of the most moving images I have seen in the MCU: Tony has Peter’s ashes in his goddamn mouth, eyes closed. Defeated.

Jesus Christ. Don’t tell me Markus and McFeely don’t know how to write characters and brief, powerful interactions, even when the characters are not together. They most certainly are very, very capable of this.

So why did we get the lifeless, quippy drivel and lame physical contact they gave Bucky and Steve in IW and EG? Which, regarding their last convo, was Bucky spilling his guts and Steve being like “Yeah brah, you’ll be fine, don’t be a fucking idiot while I’m off being happy with the only person in the universe who can make me complete #surprisesoulmates.” Bucky offers his quippy mandatory TFA callback retort so that the audience remembers that these two once gave an actual fuck about each other at one point in the narrative.  Cue slappy-back-no-dick-touch hug. And please don’t tell me that this is just how men from the ‘40s hug. I would buy that for TFA, but after everything they’ve been through in Winter Soldier and Civil War? I am not buying it.

**Slap-slap**

So we get a Steve Rogers who exits the MCU permanently by making a contentious, questionable final choice with questionable implications that take a graduate degree and/or a hive mind to questionably figure out (or else I’m just a fucking idiot and I’m the only one who needed those things). And we also get the profoundly dissatisfying demise of a relationship that we invested a tremendous amount of emotional energy in because that is what the screenwriters and directors asked us to do. 

I am not writing this as a diehard Stucky shipper. I love Stucky, don’t get me wrong. It’s all I read and write in fandom. And I can certainly buy a world (at least, in Caps 1-3) where canon Steve’s love for Bucky is the gay kind and vice versa. Sure. But I am writing this as a person who loves good characters and good story, and this is such a hard fail that even if I had no emotional investment in these two characters, I would wonder what Markus and McFeely had against Steve and Bucky that they let their garden succumb to drought while they tended so considerately to Tony and Peter and Tony and Pepper and Steve and Natasha and Steve and a dead woman and Thor and Bruce and Thor and fucking Rocket, pretty much all of whom (with the exception of Tony and Pepper) have had so much less at stake, so much less time invested, and so much less of a reason for the audience to give a fuck.

But more importantly, I am writing this as a lover of Steve and Bucky, two people who have a well-established, rock-solid, indisputable human relationship that deserves so much more than what it got, especially given all of the unspeakable suffering these men have experienced separately and as a byproduct of their separation. Canonically. This is not made up fandom shippery superimposed upon Markus and McFeely’s precious creation. This is the truth of these two men as determined by the hands of the creators who also neglected them into nothingness, which is arguably a fate far worse than one or both of them dying an actual, final death.

I am left feeling disappointed and betrayed as a fan, wishing, as others have confided in me, that I was more of a Tony person and had been all along. Because then I would be walking away from this still grief-stricken, but at least it would be for the right reasons.

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I will leave you with this, arguably one of the last in-character moments for Bucky and Steve in the MCU. 

#avengers endgame #salt #endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #meta