Needlessly Long and Dramatic APH Belarus Slander
A/N: Just to clarify, I am NOT at all referring to the REAL COUNTRY of Belarus. The citizens of Belarus are already trying so hard to fight, literally risking their lives, for freedom and national identity. I am not about to ignorantly hold an entire country accountable for what their government and dictator do and have done, especially since people are dying trying to fight for basic human rights.
This is about HETALIA’S Belarus. SPECIFICALLY Hetalia’s Belarus as a PERSON, not as a nation. As I said in one of my first posts, there’s not nearly enough slander of this depiction of Belarus. And when there was, it was for the wrong reasons (“she gets in between me and my ships”). This has been festering inside me and I need to let it all out.
And do keep in mind that this is APH Belarus slander. This is my opinion. It's in the title. Don't like it? Then move on. I don't care, I don't wanna hear it.
And if you stayed, I hope you're ready because I'm about to spill my angry guts out😃👍
Hetalia’s Belarus is a terrible person and a poor, insulting personification of the country.
How?
Let's see, uh…
She bullies, deliberately ignores, and is overall a complete cow to her older sister because she falsely assumes that Russia wants to marry her instead.
Is needlessly hostile and rude to everyone, regardless if they mean well.
Threatens and curses people who disagree with, or even question, Russia because "how dare they have an opinion".
Gets angry when Russia talks to anyone who isn't her, regardless if it’s for professional reasons.
One of the (many, many, many) reasons why Russia doesn’t have any friends is because she scares people off just to have him all to herself.
Blames other people (especially her sister) for Russia's constant avoidance of her rather than reflecting on her own behavior.
Is weirdly contradictory. She’s been shown actively stalking seeking out recruits to ‘become one’ with Russia but gets all ornery and pissy when said recruits are close to him (like, what did you expect??).
Makes Russia’s life more of a living Hell and even curses him when he outright tells her “no”.
Throws violent temper tantrums when things don’t go her way and destroys things.
Has deluded herself into thinking that Russia does want to marry her and dismisses his fearful reactions as stubbornness/“Tsundere behavior”.
Is completely on board with Russia’s desire to take over the world (which she misinterprets as "turn everyone into big brother’s slaves" rather than Russia’s real intentions [as fucked up and naive as they are], "being friends with everyone").
Has been bullying Lithuania since childhood even though he loves her and has repeatedly broken his fingers and legs.
Has been implied to have done questionable things to the Baltics ("Today, I played around with___. It’s interesting to see what expressions he makes when I do such things to him").
Isn’t above hurting animals. Got into a fight with a cat simply because it was “in big brother’s way”.
Has done an impression of the stereotypical "Imōto-chan trope" in an attempt to "persuade" her brother into marriage (I know it's minuscule compared to what I've already mentioned, but the fact that she just blatantly assumes that Russia is the kind of person who would be into that is just...ew).
Held Liechtenstein in a chokehold when asked to interact with her.
Actually likes her authoritarian jackass of a boss and has made a fansite of him (the only other person she’s done this for is Russia, which is saying a lot).
Silent calls people out of spite.
Has stolen, smelled, and worn her brother's underwear on her head as a nightcap.
Takes invasive photos of Russia without his knowledge or consent.
Constantly ruins and/or breaks down Russia's doors.
Leaves scratch marks on Russia's property as a hobby.
Has indecent, sexual fantasies about her brother.
Has used physical force on Russia (ie. crushing his arm) to get him to marry her and showed zero remorse over hurting him.
Has an entire Hetastagram (Instagram) account called ‘Daily Big Brother’, where she praises, stalks, and publicly posts photos of Russia online without his consent (and I’m willing to bet that some of them were the suggestive ones I mentioned earlier).
Overall, not a good person. A brat, even.
Belarus is one of those characters that I adore aesthetically. I love her design (have you seen her in a ponytail?), I occasionally do voice impressions of her for fun and I’m always ecstatic when I discover canon information about her. Hell, I have an entire document dedicated to canon descriptions of her physical appearance just to cosplay her (I’ve been wanting to cosplay Bela for a very long time).
But at the same time I know for a fact that, if I knew her in real life, I would absolutely hate her guts.
I already don't like her as a person, and I know I said this is about her personality specifically, but I especially don't like her as a personification of a country that's already been going through hell just to keep its independence (and it's even more gross and insulting in real life knowing that it's Russia that's out to take away Belarus' national autonomy).
Belarus' obsession with Russia does influence most of her bad traits. He's not, by any means, a good influence.
However, she fails to recognize his many fatal faults and misinterprets what he wants as malicious world domination and enslavement, which she's concerningly more than happy to indulge.
She sees Russia as this idealized, flanderized version of himself. She sees him as something to praise and revere, as this brooding, merciless god-on-earth who's righteous in every way. To put it into perspective, the way she sees Russia is very similar to how the fandom saw him during the 2010s and sometimes still sees him today.
She doesn't really know her brother or even see him as his own person. Sure, she can name every location he's ever been to, is obnoxiously protective of him, and knows his pinky toe turns red when he's embarrassed, but she doesn't know who he is as a person. His likes, dislikes, what he wants, and especially, what he doesn't want. She likes the idea of him and just makes assumptions from there without any input or consent.
Belarus won't acknowledge it, but to her, Russia is essentially a doll. Just a target. An object to keep, project, and force her affection onto.
And this isn't the same as Russia doing harmful things out of a lack of understanding of how the world works. This isn't the same as Russia being cognitively unaware of everyone's fear of him.
No. Bela knows exactly what she’s doing. She knows better than to be doing what she’s doing. But she indulges anyway simply because she lacks impulse control. And from the looks of it, it's deliberate.
And the worst part about all this? She’s never been held accountable for her actions. Not once does someone reprimand her or call her out for her shitty behavior and, if anything, it’s enabled.
Russia can't bring himself to tell her off or get rid of her (out of both familial love and fear), which only makes matters worse since Bela's fanatical dumbass will only assume that his lack of action means that he approves of her behavior.
But it's not like what Russia does matters anyway because if he even tries to put her down (gently or otherwise) and behaves outside of her idealized version of him, she'll just throw a shit fit and make him more miserable. He's forever stuck in this vicious cycle until he's drained from her antics and finally gives in to what she wants.
And the reason(s) why other people let her get away with the shit she pulls is because:
They're also scared of her.
She’s a female nation, and no one tells female nations what to do.
"She’s just so cute!” (PrettyPrivilege™️).
The closest thing she’s ever gotten to a ‘reality check’ was in that 2011 Halloween comic. When Denmark casually brushes off her usual attempts at intimidation.
And laughs to her face for even trying in the first place.
(Denmark, you’re wonderful, don’t ever change)
Belarus is implied to be lonely and has had a rough upbringing like her siblings, leaving her with a pessimistic view of life and relationships. She's tried to break away from Russia once (I imagine her bosses at the time forced her to) and lived with America, who also got tired of her antics and tried to get rid of her as well. This would explain a lot of her obsessive, co-dependent behavior and, by all accounts, is enough to garner some form of sympathy.
However, the reason why Bela is lonely is that she's actively choosing to cling to one person. She pushes all of her projections and issues onto Russia, further isolating him while not giving a single flying fuck over how her actions affect him and those around her.
And even when there are other people who love and care about her unconditionally (for some reason), she’s dismissive and a complete bitch to them. She takes those relationships for granted and only ever indulges them if it serves some sort of benefit to her (usually as a means of getting closer to Russia).
As if the fact that she's indulging in incestuous fantasies isn't bad enough, she's making active attempts to make them a reality and giving no regard over how her target feels. She takes time out of her day to intentionally hurt others who dare to disagree. The fact that there are other people who care about her and want her to be happy means nothing to her. It's painfully frustrating to watch.
Even traits that should be positive (strength and passion) are manifested in negative ways. She's been noted to be talented and has so much potential. But instead, she chooses to waste said potential in favor of being...this.
So long story short, Belarus is the kind of person who will never be happy. Regardless if she magically gets what she wants in the end.
I've said this before and I'll say it again: I absolutely love it when the fandom goes the extra mile to expand on her character. She's shrouded in mystery and could have at least one positive trait for all we know (unfortunately, that reveal's not gonna happen anytime soon).
I typically don't care for headcanons and this is one of the few exceptions. It's a breath of fresh air to see different interpretations of her character.
Man, Belarus. You bring out the worst in people.
And you're not putting in any effort to change that. To be a better version of yourself. Have you any self-respect?
So you must be happy with where you are. And if that's the case, then why should I, or anyone, feel bad?
I guess I see why I should be sorry for you, but I also see no point in wasting sympathy on someone who's content with being a shitty person.
Don't go out of your way to be a petty asshole and this wouldn't happen🤗
So yeah, Hetalia’s Belarus is not just a terrible person, but a poor, insulting personification of the country.
Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
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We're going to scream about Nandermo all week, but right now I need to talk about Baron Afanas. Because the Baron's arc, so to speak, always felt like a big part of the series DNA for me - and oh fuck did this episode deliver on why.
I think we can agree: in the show, vampire society is fucked up, right?
Vampires on their own have plenty to deal with that can make them crazy. They have to live by killing. They lose everyone from their old lives. They have to find new reasons to keep going on, forever, so shit can get decadent really fast.
But holy shit, what that's turned into in vampire society? Where you actively put cruelty over mercy, and violence over solving your problems? Death cults and scam artists roam free, but if someone has depression the best thing to do is ignore them. Someone can get their mind wiped or be locked up for centuries, and that's just what you do to your species.
--
So: the Baron's arrival is the first conflict of the whole show. The joke is about an ancient powerful creature of pants-shitting terror, vs three lesser vampires who just want to live their lives and not get murdered for being too lazy to conquer humanity. There's a lot of talk about how to please him: do you keep to the old ways, or pick up some new traditions? Decorate with flayed skin, or with glitter? And the Baron says: who cares, you're all soft and useless. All that matters is getting more control over this world, until people are cattle and we have no reason to hide anymore.
But later he confesses: that shit stopped mattering ages ago. He's not even real nobility, he's literally impotent, and he talks about doing horrible things because he doesn't know what else to say. He's angry and half-crazy from boredom. And admitting that, owning those feelings, means suddenly he has three new friends and a whole new world of things to enjoy.
There's the Baron the rest of the vampire world knows, but for one night we see the ancient, unknowable terror was just a guy. Maybe he's always been just some guy.
That fun puts him in a vulnerable position, and he's killed by the most unwitting vampire slayer in fiction. But Baron Afanas is changed. He sucks dirt for a year and still comes out of it with a new lightness and joy to him. He saves the Sire, another ancient terrifying monster everyone was eager to kill or send away. They adopt the hellhound. They get cozy and give advice. They make popsicle stick houses and go on walks. They live.
And that seemed like the end of the story until last night - when the Baron suddenly felt like the butt of a joke everyone knew but him. Spurred on by someone else who feels lonely and ignored, the Baron felt vulnerable. And he snapped back to how he lived for centuries.
'What the hell are you all doing, enjoying yourselves? We're supposed to be unhappy. We're supposed to live centuries of unhappiness, bringing pain to everyone in our path, and we're definitely not supposed to cheer up our friend who's sad.'
--
Nobody liked the Baron before Guillermo killed him, not even other powerful vampires we meet; they saw the Baron as a crazy far beyond their own crazy. But this is also how vampire society values you. It's how they measure Nandor's worth when they think he's dead, too: how old and powerful you are, how much you've been able to conquer and kill.
Vampire pods are both cliquish and aren't expected to last in the first place. If someone dies, you literally paint them out of your lives and forget. Everything we see discourages feelings, sincerity, or even basic companionship. The only way to earn respect is to be cruel. The more cruel you are, the more powerful you are. The more powerful you are, the more feared you are - the lonelier you are, the crazier you are. It's practically designed to create the Baron, or worse.
But new vampires don't behave that way. And the vampires we follow in the show don't behave that way - because they have each other, because they've been encouraged to have each other, often by Guillermo. (Holy shit, Nadja saying maybe she'd be fine dying, and Nandor immediately asking if she's okay? Nothing changes in this house, except everything does. They're not going to almost lose one of their own ever again.)
The vampires in the heart of vampire culture never seem happy to be like this. It doesn't have to be like this.
--
The Baron doesn't become a tyrannical monster for long. Because he never actually was one - and because he spends two evenings and a fireball to the face, watching Nandor and Nadja fight for Guillermo. Watching them plead and cling and defy, seeing Guillermo's earnest feelings in spite of his bloodline and the mistakes he's made. Seeing Nandor's perfect trust, and then his grief, the way he insists that Guillermo was never 'just' anything. The Baron can't find real fulfillment in hurting someone (because that ship sailed ages ago). He can't deride them for caring, because he's cared for a long time now.
And when the Baron admits that's who he is, when he says it out loud, he only gains more in his life. He finds new depth in the happiness he'd felt for a while now, because he's admitted and allowed himself to be happy. And now he has the children he's always wanted. Living together, the Baron and the Sire are still ancient and powerful - and they're also family, finding real joy together in a world that was ready to dispose of them.
"I suppose with the right company, it can be beautiful, this eternal existence."
--
There's an inherent selfishness to being a vampire, taking from someone else in order to live. But there doesn't have to be inherent cruelty, or lack of love.
They're all ready to admit they care. The Staten vampires have all cared for Guillermo or each other in their own ways this season. And Guillermo doesn't lack for flaws, but loving his monster family has never been one of them. (When he and Nandor work their shit out, they're gonna be insufferable.)
Now they just have to let the Guide in. Because she's absolutely starved for love, and vampires get pretty fucked up when they're on their own.
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