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#also i love drawing people upside down so
eriochromatic · 11 months
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Maybe the poison drips through
Succession 4x10 “With Open Eyes”
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willyonilly · 11 months
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william don't draw watchdog being gay challenge IMPOSSIBLE FAILED
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took a closer look at lucifer’s notebook. it’s headed “PLEASE HELP 4/21/15″ followed by 160something tallies (though they say there’ve been 154 people who don’t give a fuck), then doodles, including what may be a face, seemingly smudged or erased lines, what i’m just now realizing may be the head of a snake with an arrow shooting at it, and crucially and most obviously, a backwards Cool S.
the writing in the middle of the page is:
I miss you and I remember what it was like be[fore]
I wish I didn't
#they're baby (god's unwanted child)#asia kate dillon#lucifer our better angels#compared with asia's own handwriting as seen in billions i'm sure they wrote the words themself. so are these also their drawings. love it#they draw v angularly lol i respect it....already noticed via their billions screenshots their handwriting is nonzero similar to mine#which you Know is v attuned for my aesthetique sensibilities same as goes into lineart for me lol...decided to write a's diff one day#and then i did. & capital Gs. once in elem school i decided to dot i's w/little circles and apparently the teacher hated it lmfao. panache#anyways lucifer satan the devil is doodling and writing diary letters to their omniscient parent i.e. for all intents & purposes praying?#well i love them so much aw cmere....rebellious child interpretation....#well so long as god is flexible and dynamic and themself able to repent parent; that's just fantastic#meanwhile it's settled#like how people are like oh my god. upside cross ye old saint peter emblem??? satan????#backwards Cool S is now the satanic emblem of ''but who prays for satan? who in eighteen centuries has had the common humanity to pray for#the one sinner that needed it most; our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one; the one sinner among us#all who had the highest and clearest right to every christian's daily and nightly prayers; for the plain and unassailable reason that his#was the first and greatest need; he being among sinners the supremest?''#also can't ignore their like tayloresquely dark red pants here. they truly have an outfit i'm taking notes thusly#ambitiously taking screenshots & rotating & tamping down brightness while ramping up contrast to try to make out the action like#this is just like marble hornets fr....all my training#(actually that specifically wasn't really The Way all that often lol....just reminded me of it nonetheless)#all these precise dates....april twenty first happy birthday to lucifer betterangels. october second happy birthday to blade gunnblade
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loveinhawkins · 1 year
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“Why are you wearing cologne?” Dustin asks after barely one second in the van.
“I’m not,” Eddie says, and promptly wants to die at how unconvincing that was. It’s not even technically a lie…
He makes it out of the school parking lot with Dustin saying jackshit, so for a little while, he thinks he’s gotten away with it.
More fool him.
Dustin abruptly lunges to the side, all up in his face like the world’s most dedicated sniffer dog.
“Ew, gross! Get off, man, I’m gonna crash,” Eddie says, even though they’ve been at a stop light for the past minute.
“Okay, correction,” Dustin says, drawing back. “Why are you wearing Steve’s cologne?”
Eddie stares into the middle distance, prays for The Upside Down to come and swallow him up.
An agonising silence.
“Oh my god,” Dustin whisper-screams. “Oh my god.”
“Look, just—”
“Oh my god!”
And yup, ow, that’s definitely become a full blown scream now, and double ow, Dustin has just socked him one in the arm.
“Hey!”
“What the fuck, Eddie?! How could you not—”
“Jesus! Take a damn chill pill, Henderson, I swear to—”
“Since when you do you say shit like—oh my God, Steve says shit like that. You can’t let him get to you like this, Eddie, you’re too young to die.”
“What does that even mean?”
Dustin keeps jiggling Eddie by the arm as he pulls up to Dustin’s house. Even when his stomach is jangling with nerves, he can’t fight a smile at the kid’s antics.
“Holy shit, this is big,” Dustin says with wide eyes, and it bothers Eddie that he can’t get a hold of what sort of expression is on his face. “This is huge.”
And all of a sudden, it doesn’t seem all that funny anymore.
“It’s not,” Eddie says quietly. “It’s really not. It doesn’t have to be, like… look, Dustin, can we just—if it bothers you, just drop it, and we can pretend like—”
“Wait, what? No.” And now Eddie can read the remorse on his face. “Shit, sorry. Eddie, I didn’t mean, like… big in a bad way, I swear.”
And goddamn it, Eddie trusts him. Of course he does.
“Okay.” He lets out a long sigh, tipping his head back in his seat. “Okay.”
“I just meant… like, you know The Royal Family? In England.”
…What.
“Oh, please, run with this analogy,” Eddie says, a mixture of curious and hysterical, “I’m dying to see where it goes.”
“You know, when they have news, they put it outside the… Palace? Like, on a stand. So people know.”
“Are you fucking implying that you are the public to our… wow, I’m so sorry, Henderson.” Eddie can’t take it anymore; he wheezes with laughter, can’t hide how relieved he sounds. “Next time I’ll ruin your front lawn and put a huge fucking sign there, then you’ll know that—”
“I didn’t mean it literally, asshole. I just…” Dustin shrugs. “Just meant if you wanted to, like… mention it. It would be cool. It is cool.”
“Cool,” Eddie echoes faintly.
“Cool,” Dustin repeats, emphatic.
Jesus Christ, I love you so much.
“Aw, Henderson,” Eddie says, “were you gonna make us a card or something?”
“Do you want a card?” Dustin says dryly.
And yeah, he’s being a little shit about it, but there’s also a note of sincerity hiding in there that has Eddie fighting a lump in his throat. He chuckles through it, flicks Dustin’s forehead.
“C’mon, get out before your mom thinks I’ve kidnapped you.”
“She thinks you’re an angel now, and you know it. It’s horrifying.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m a Saint.”
Eddie waits until Dustin’s at his front door before reversing, watches him with silent fondness as he greets his cat.
He says through the side window, “Hey, Dustin?”
Dustin turns back. “Yeah?”
“We’d have told you first anyway. We were gonna, I swear.” Eddie scoffs. Smiles. “Not our fault you’re Sherlock Holmes, man.”
Dustin smirks, but his eyes are soft. “It was pretty elementary.”
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hothammies · 1 month
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will byers, the resident sniper and medic - apoc au details under the cut!
---
will's role in the party:
a scouter - stays back to watch over the area during runs w/his rifle and is a backup supply runner if need be. just prefers to scout with dustin and mike
medic - normally takes care of the group regarding injuries and medicine. is very gentle :)
the angel on mike's shoulder -> knows how to placate mike the best if mike's being unreasonable or too harsh
most knowledgable about the infection and how it works -> helps with understanding the patterns of infected people, what attracts infection, etc.
party mediator - rarely ever fights with anyone (mostly with mike haha) and is usually the person people most often go to for a vent or a rant
skills + hobbies:
best with a rifle + second best with guns! -> he practices a lot with lucas but refuses to kill animals
cook of the group along with el (taught her how to cook): rest of the party can make edible food but don't know how to make it taste good
great knowledge of plants and medicine -> jonathan and joyce taught him all they know about it (they are healers)
draws in a sketchbook that mike stole from another group for him: filled with mundane sketches from life and treats it like a daily journal
likes to collect cds and cassettes that he finds around to play in the car (him and max discuss music the most) - fave bands include system of a down, gorillaz, the clash and the cure :) he's an alt rock fan!
quirks / fun facts:
him and lucas have an ongoing competition that started with their aim and is now based on literally anything -> they've been keeping score since they were nine (lucas is currently up by ten and the points are in the thousands)
will shuffles different music in the car and observes who in the party likes what so he can make his own little mental playlists for them!
him and dustin talk a lot about how the infection works. they have some very intense debates about it, especially when it comes to if the infected still have human consciousness or not (will thinks they do, dustin thinks they don't)
--- other notes: canon will, in a short summary, is a very sweet, sensitive, empathetic and capable boy who consistently puts others needs before his own :') of course, i wanted apoc will to share those attributes, with a big emphasis on his empathy, strength, and kindness. first - i wanted him to be a medic to show how he cares about other people and how he helps the people he loves as well. it's shown a lot in the show how much he cares for people and living beings (see: his actions with dart, el, mike, feeling bad for jonathan's hand after he had just woken up, etc.) and him being a healer is very in tune with this behavior. will as a healer is very special to me :') and him learning this skill from his mom and his brother strengthens the theme of family also!
second - him being good with a hunting rifle was to showcase his quiet strength and capability (i'd also like to add that his dexterity on his dnd sheet is extremely high) -> he's a non-confrontational survivor. his strength shines from afar and is put on the backlight, but no one in the party thinks will is weak for his empathy. mike and lucas, in particular, are actually quite jealous of the fact that will is still able to see so much good in humanity and life while being so strong. of course, his connection to the upside down in st is mirrored in this au as well, where he has an innate understanding of how the infection works because of experience, observation and other story spoilers...
looking at the current poll results, it seems im going to be drawing lucas and max next :D see you for that!
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thecreelhouse · 3 months
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pin back in the grenade
Paring: Steve Harrington x AFAB reader
Word count: 6k+
CW/tags: best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst, post s4, mentions of wounds/blood/etc., fluff, PiV unprotected sex, oral sex (m receiving), somno if you squint (tbh not really but just to be safe gonna add that one), light dirty talk. title is from ‘liar’ by paramore. MDNI
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request from this post (that was supposed to be a blurb and I am so sorry): 🩹  tending to each other's wounds, 🍯  friends to lovers, 🔥  slow burn, 🛏 only one bed
also combining this with a request I got back after s4 part 2 dropped (to that anon, I am REALLY sorry lmao) for post s4 comfort sex w/ Steve. anyway, hope y’all enjoy <3
“Do you get a new freckle every day?”
Steve’s brows crinkle together while he laughs wearily. “Huh?”
You’re cleaning the wound around his neck and can’t help noticing just how many freckles and moles he has across his body. Or, from what you can see, at least. He has his shirt off while you’re tending to his injuries from the Upside Down and Vecna’s destruction across Hawkins.
Over the last several years, Steve’s normally vacant house became a safe haven for disasters like these, also a place where the kids could be together to just hang out on the quiet, normal days. He never said it, but he loved hearing the kids laughing and yelling, sometimes having movie nights, or playing DnD; it was a welcomed sound compared to the painful quiet he had grown used to for the majority of his life. 
Tonight, no inside jokes and endearing name calling echoed throughout the house. No fighting over which movie to play first, or what kind of pizza to order, or the shouting and cheering that usually came along with playing their favorite game. If anything, there were somber conversations, softly echoing through the house, with words and emotions no kid should have to be worried about. Sometimes there was crying, or complete silence, where the only thing Steve could hear was the faint, yet now permanent ringing in his ears he had gained over the last several years. Any which way a sound like these carried through the house, it broke his heart.
So, you try distracting him as the two of you clean one another’s wounds for yet another night. You keep things light where possible, but the both of you know it’s only a bandaid over a permanent emotional scar that is torn open time and time again. The physical wounds always heal, but the heartbreak you’ve all grown accustomed to is one that weighs so heavy on everyone’s hearts, and you can’t imagine it vanishing anytime soon.
“Yeah, I swear, it’s like you’re magically turning into a connect the dots picture, or something.” Steve smiles, laughing softly through his nose at your corny attempt to keep his mind off of the trauma.
“You think so? Maybe one of these days you should come up with a drawing out of ‘em.” Steve’s trying his hardest to keep things lighthearted, too, but sometimes it’s just easier to feel the pain instead of forcing any positivity.
“Jesus, this is gnarly.” You murmur, still amazed by the damage Steve took this time around as you’re softly swiping some kind of medicated ointment along the open wound. He hisses from the dull sting, but the substance begins to numb the ache and inflammation, bringing some sort of relief, if any at all. “Do you feel like a greasy slug when you use this stuff? Because I definitely feel like a greasy slug when I use it.”
Neither of you had figured out the best way to dress the wound around his neck, so Steve had been changing clean t-shirts like bandages every few hours. The others, at least, were relatively easy to clean and dress, but they seemed to be deeper; Steve probably needed stitches on some, but he refused to go to the hospital, insisting other people in town had worse injuries, and needed the medical attention more.
“I mean, I feel slimy… but not like a slug— Jesus, how much sleep did you get last night?” At first, you think he’s asking because of your silly remark, but then he’s cupping the side of your face, thumb gently rubbing along your cheekbone, getting a better look at the dark circles draped under your eyes. You push aside the butterflies in your stomach from his touch as you reach for his clean shirt, moving his arms out in front of you to roll the fabric down and over his arms and head. For a moment, you miss his touch, but it’s back on your face after he adjusts his shirt.
“Seriously, are you sleeping at all?” He asks softly, eyes filled with worry. Leave it to Steve to worry about everyone else before himself. 
You shrug as you look away, not wanting to make a big fuss. “Last night was just rough up here,” You poke at your temple. “That’s all. I’m sure I’ll be able to sleep easily tonight with how tired I am.”
“Where’d you sleep last night?” He asks, knowing decent spots to sleep were limited now that the all of the kids were reunited again. Everyone, except Max who was at the hospital, and Lucas, who refused to leave her side. Still, there were only so many places to rest for the entire group, even in a roomy house like Steve’s.
“Um… well, some of the kids had the pullout couch, one took a recliner, Robin has the guest room, and Jonathan and Nancy have your parents’ room… so I slept on the floor in the living room.” You shrug, but you know that contributed to the lack of sleep, and extra aches in your back. How you ever easily slept on the floor as a kid during sleepovers, you’ll never understand.
Steve looks bothered by this, letting go of your face as you move to the faucet to wash your hands. “What? Why didn’t you say something? You could’ve had my bed.”
You scoff a laugh out, “Steve, you need a real bed after everything you’ve been through. I can handle the floor like a big kid.”
“Okay, well, tonight you can sleep in my bed. I’ll take the floor, I don’t mind. Or I can sleep downstairs somewhere if you want sp—”
You shake your head wildly. “Don’t- I don’t wanna be alone again.” You maneuver around Steve as he slides off the counter, and you take his spot to let him tend to your wounds next. Finally, you confess, “I fell asleep once, and it was just one giant nightmare. I stayed up after that. Didn’t want to see that shit again.”
Steve washes his hands, lips pursed and brows furrowed as he keeps quiet for a moment, thinking. The two of you always trusted one another, always came to one another whenever you needed, so why the hell were you isolating yourself now?
“Next time, tell me. Wake me up. I don’t care.” Steve’s tone is firm, but he’s not upset with you. Just upset that you’re retreating into yourself when he just wants to help. 
He starts peeling off the butterfly bandages around the slit skimming vertically down your eye. It begins just above your eyebrow, running down to your brow bone, pausing across your eye before continuing just under your lash line, finishing off past your cheekbone. Instinctually, your eye begins to squint closed, but the action tugs at your skin, stinging along the edge of your wound. 
“Steve, you haven’t had a good night’s sleep since high school. Why would I wake you up when you need the rest?” He starts cleaning the wound, sighing to pause himself, think carefully about what he wants to say next. You keep going. “I actually did come in last night, but you were sound asleep. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up, not when you need the rest.”
“Close your eye for a second.” You do, appearing as if you’re failing an attempt at winking. Steve’s gently patting the cut with some sort of medical disinfectant on a cotton ball, heart aching little by little as you whimper in pain. You try keeping quiet, knowing your wounds are nothing compared to his. “You can cry you know. Or curse. Or yell. Or whatever. Stop trying to hide it.”
“Mine are like… paper cuts compared to yours.” He pats the wound dry with a new piece of cotton, sighing again. “What?”
“You don’t have to hide your pain from me. I’m not sure if you’re worried its a burden to anyone, or whatever, but you never hid from me before. What happened?” Steve begins to apply clean butterfly bandages along the deep slit in your skin. Every now and then, his eyes flicker to your lips, and you have to remind yourself your other face wound is a split in your lip. “Gotta get that next.”
“I can do it.”
“Nope, if you’re gonna nurse all of my wounds, it’s only fair if I do that for you in return.”
“Steve, you don’t have to—”
“No, but I want to. You’re my best friend, and you’ve been patching up my wounds since we were reckless little shits on the playground. You care about me, let me care about you.” His thumb gently presses on the untouched side of your bottom lip, holding it steady so he can begin fixing that one up, too. You’re too aware of how the pad of his thumb feels against your lip, wondering what it’d be like to wrap your lips around it and take him into your mouth.
“See, this is why I gotta hold your lip, you’re so twitchy.” Steve teases, unaware of why your bottom lip trembles every now and then when he’s so close. Is he really that clueless? “After this, you’re sleeping in my bed. I’ll carry you and lock you in my room if it means you’re gonna sleep like a normal person tonight.”
Your skin prickles and hair stands on end at his words. He really has no idea what he does to you with silly comments like these.
“Okay, but like…. What if I have to pee in the middle of the night?”
Steve stops his movements, snorting as his eyes close while a smile graces his features. With a shrug, he simply answers, “Hold it.”
Your jaw drops, feigning offense. “That’s fucked up, Steven.”
“So is sleeping on the floor instead of a bed.”
“You need it more than me!”
“Will you shut up for like, ten seconds? I’m almost done with this.” He’s stifling his own laughter, before murmuring, “Not gonna lie, you’re gonna look so badass when these are healed.”
“Pfffft. Maybe, but no one’s gonna be attracted to this mess.” You’re only joking, but Steve frowns as he applies petroleum jelly to your lips, generous on your cut. 
“What? No fucking way. You’re still a babe.”
“Yeah, okay, Steve. No one’s gonna kiss me after this.” You chuckle, but notice the way his eyes flicker to your lips again, lingering longer than usual, then back to your eyes. His gaze is mesmerizing, with the warm brown color and hazel undertones, you can’t bring yourself to look away. 
“I mean, I w—”
“Hey, St— oh,” Robin’s in the doorway of the bathroom, smirking at the two of you. “Am I interrupting something?” You lean back, fingers curled around the edge of the counter while Steve’s standing up straight, taking a step back from you as he clears his throat.
“N- no, we were just fixing each other up.” Steve nervously spits out, adding a shrug like everything’s cool. 
“Right. Sure you were.” Robin teases. You want to shrink into yourself and completely disappear on the spot. “Where’s the box of movies you stole from work?”
You quirk a brow at her question, then look back at Steve. “You did what?”
“Shut it— I didn’t— I borrowed them. Robin, stop spreading rumors about me.”
“Fine. Sure. You “borrowed” them,” She flashes air quotes with her fingers, and you laugh. “Where are they? The kids are driving me up a wall trying to find them.”
Steve looks puzzled, chuckling. “They’re literally right next to the damn TV. Dustin should know that by now.”
She rolls her eyes, “Oh my god,” she turns out of the room yelling down the stairs, “Dustin! Get your shit together, man!” Before walking away, she glances at the two of you again with a smirk, “Have fun playing doctor, or whatever.”
“Leave.” Steve points out the door as Robin’s already leaving.
“Yeah, you showed her.” You tease Steve, trying to let go of what he was about to say before Robin barged in. You’re sliding off of the counter, and Steve playfully pushes your shoulders from behind, forcing you out of the bathroom.
“Alright, smart ass, let’s go.” He nudges you across the hall to his room, but you try turning away. Swiftly, he turns you back towards the door. “I wasn’t kidding, I’ll throw you over my shoulder if it means getting you to sleep in a bed.” He keeps a firm grip on your shoulders, pushing you through the doorway comically.
“Steve, if you wanted me in your bed so bad, all you have to do is ask nicely.” You’re not even trying to be coy or flirt, but it makes him choke on air. You spin around quickly, “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, I— wrong pipe.” He rasps out, clearing his throat. You don’t buy it, realizing your lazy joke was the reason for his coughing fit. Still, you let it go, not wanting to embarrass him. Steve continues clearing his throat as he pulls some old blankets out of his closet, and some pillows from his bed to lay out on the floor.
“Stay in your bed, I’ll take the floor, it’s fine.” You’re trying one more time, hoping he’ll stop being so stubborn and sleep in his fucking bed. 
“Why are you so damn stubborn?” He wraps his arms around your waist and picks you up off the floor slightly, carrying you a few feet over before dropping you into his bed. 
“I was just thinking the same about you.” You murmur, arms crossed as you look at the bed behind you. You realize how big it is, and have an idea. “If you won’t let me sleep on the floor, just sleep next to me. There’s plenty of room for the both of us anyway.”
“Sleep— sl— next to you? Same bed?” Steve’s voice cracks, pulling giggles out of you. 
“Yes, Steve. Same bed. Unless you’ve got another one hiding around here.” You’re surprised you’re even suggesting this when the idea makes you incredibly nervous, but you need sleep, and Steve needs sleep, and you’re out of any other ideas. “If you want it to yourself though, I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“No- I- stop it, I’m gonna sleep on the floor, and that’s final.” His hands are on his hips, his signature, go-to move when he’s scolding the kids, but you’ve qualified for its appearance tonight, too. You rise to your knees on the bed, hitting eye level with him while you mirror him, hands falling to your hips in the same pose he has. 
Steve isn’t having it, and before you can start verbally teasing him, he’s pushing you back into bed. You catch yourself on your hands as you stumble back onto the pillows. “I’m gonna superglue you to the bed.”
“Now you’re just being a child.”
“Me? You were just—” Steve sighs, hand dragging over his face. “Just go to sleep.”
“I don’t want to!” Your bottom lip is wobbling as your bloodshot eyes tear up ever so slightly; you’re doing all you can to hold them back, reminding yourself logically this isn’t that serious, but your emotions show otherwise.
If anyone else in any normal circumstances yelled this, they’d be deemed childish. You, on the other hand, you’re yelling this for perfectly valid reasons. And Steve knows what you’re feeling all too well. One more time, his heart breaks for you, watching the panic spread across your sleep deprived face.
“I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to watch you get hurt over and over again in my nightmares. I’ve seen that too many times in real life, it’s sickening watching you get beaten to death time and time again… and I just— fuck. Steve, just take the fucking bed. Please? I don’t want to sleep, and you need it more than me, I really don’t mind the fl—”
Steve sits next to you and pulls you into a hug, holding you tightly against him. That’s when the floodgates finally break. You grip onto his shirt, balling the fabric into your fists as you begin crying on his shoulder.
“M’not going anywhere. Promise. You’re safe, I’m safe, everyone’s okay.” You know that’s not completely truthful; Max is hanging on by a thread in the hospital, and Eddie’s gone. Steve knows this, but right now his concern is getting you to finally fall asleep. “C’mon, you’ll feel better if you lay down.” You expect Steve to gently nudge you to the pillows alone, but he keeps his hold on you, carefully laying the both of you down. “You sure you’re okay with me staying in bed?” You nod against his shoulder, wrapping yourself around him as if that’ll anchor him here for good. 
“Don’t go,” You’re mumbling into the fabric of his shirt, wanting to tug yourself closer to him, hang onto him like a clingy koala, but you’re trying to stay mindful of his injuries. 
“Not going anywhere.” Steve whispers, kissing the top of your head before lingering for a moment. “Not going anywhere without you.” Neither of you untangle from one another, and Steve’s embrace is starting to calm you down to steadier breathing and shaky hiccups instead of heavy crying filled with anxiety and dread. With your body desperate for rest and the security you feel with Steve, it doesn’t take long for sleep to pull you in. Steve’s snoring softly shortly after you fall asleep.
———
At some point in the night, the two of you untangle, rolling to opposite sides of the bed. Steve’s woken up by movement, strange shifting in the bed next to him, and an airy whimper, just loud enough for him to hear. He rubs his eyes, turning over and sees your figure, facing away from him, remembering that the two of you fell asleep in his bed. 
Steve’s not sure what time it is, nor does he really care, especially not after hearing another soft noise float from your parted lips. Trying to adjust to the dark surroundings, despite the weak glow from a night light plugged in, he stares at you, or what he can see, at least, worried you’re having another nightmare. He moves closer and leans over you, prepared to wake you up and give comfort if you need, but you don’t look scared. If anything, you look pained, frustrated; Steve’s eyes scan down your figure as you move again, noticing the way your hips roll forward against your own hand.
Holy shit.
Frozen, he can’t take his gaze off of you. He needs to. He should roll back over and force himself back to sleep, pretend he never heard anything, never saw you—
“Steve…” You murmur, languidly grinding against the heel of your palm, face buried into the pillow as you writhe under his imaginary touch. His mind starts spiraling.
That’s why you got nervous when he held your lip, or when you mentioned how with a lip scar inevitable in the near future, no one would want to kiss you, and the way the two of you couldn’t take your eyes off of one another. How you looked so mortified when Robin walked in, forcing the two of you apart. He begins to realize how this isn’t new, this has been going on for awhile, and he can’t believe how oblivious he’s been.
The signs have always been in your lingering touches, when you lock eyes with him and share knowing glances no one else would understand, the way you’ve always tried protecting him, or tending to his now routinely scheduled injuries whenever he’s caught up in anything related to the Upside Down. It’s always been in the way you’d give up your comfort for him, how you’d never complain if he woke you up from nightmares, calling at three in the morning. 
How it’s an unspoken pact between the two of you to share your fries with one another, or when one falls asleep early during movie nights, the other thoughtfully covers them in a blanket, letting them rest. How you always keep extra medical supplies in your car just for Steve’s clumsy ass. How he’s sneaking you video tapes for free whenever you visit him at work. How you insist on calling him exactly at midnight on his birthday. 
You’d drop everything in an instant for Steve, and he’d do the same for you without hesitation. Whenever he tries to put your needs first, you’re quick to point out that someone needs to care about him, too.
Steve can’t believe how clueless he’s been, and out of all the times he’s figuring this out, it’s now, while you’re having a wet dream about him. Because of fucking course it would hit him now.
While his thoughts ran in a million different directions at once, he wasn’t aware of how hard he became, hearing your cute little noises, and how he’s still pressed right against you from behind. Does he let you continue? Does he wake you up? If he does, what’s his excuse? Lie and say it was a nightmare? Or tell you the truth, risking ruining something before it could ever begin, embarrassing you on the spot?
Without warning, you turn over, still asleep as your arms slip around his torso loosely, as if you’re still trying to be careful with his wounds while knocked out. One of your legs slot between his, and Steve has to bite back a groan at the pressure against his bulge. As if that alone wasn’t threatening to make him fall apart, your hips begin moving lazily again against his leg, and he can feel your sticky heat on his skin through your sleep shorts. Steve’s about to lose his fucking mind.
“Stevie, wanna make y’feel good…” You’re still asleep as you murmur this. Steve knew you talked in your sleep, but never like this. He can’t take it anymore. One hand ends up on the hip facing away from the bed, while the other is drawn to your neck, curling to the back to hold you gently as his fingers slide up into your hair. 
“Wanna make you feel good too, angel.” He’s guiding you slowly along his thigh, tensing up underneath you; he’s not sure how to wake you up without startling you, and he doesn’t want the building desire to end so soon. 
In time with his thoughts, you begin to stir, eyes fluttering open. You blink a couple times, then Steve nudges against your core again, and you keen, throwing your head back into his hand already waiting for you.
“Oh- oh, fuck, oh my god…” You’re growing aware of the situation, realizing your dream is becoming reality so seamlessly. You’re embarrassed, you want to hide away and apologize, but Steve rubs himself against the leg you have pressed against him, releasing a throaty groan; the embarrassment falls away, fast. “St- Steve?”
“Yeah?” He’s trying not to pant this soon, trying not to sound so breathy and needy already.
“M’sorry, I- I didn’t realize that I—”
Steve shushes you softly, bringing your face closer to his as he leans in, noses touching while you’re both making the sweetest noises together. “I can stop, if you want. I- I shouldn’t just assume you want this, maybe it was a silly dream—”
“No, it wasn’t… I really want you, Steve.” Your hands test the waters, sliding up his body, but only over his shirt, before holding his face; your gaze locks with his, and despite the dim glow in the room, you can see the lust ridden look he’s giving you while nodding wordlessly to give his consent. You lean in to kiss him, lips touching ever so slightly; you freeze as self doubt sets in, but he senses it, and kisses you back fully, mindful of your split lip. 
It’s slow, almost too slow for you and how wound up you are from the dream, but you do your best to stay patient. Steve’s hand on your hip sneaks under your shirt, just enough that the tips of his fingers brush against your skin, just beneath the hem. The hand cradling the back of your head moves to your jaw, fingers splaying out to get a better hold on you when his lips part against yours. You make some kind of small noise, a muffled yelp that slips into Steve’s mouth when his tongue slips into yours. Distracted by the kiss, your hips stopped rolling, so Steve begins guiding you along his thigh again.
A moan shudders out of you as you pull back to catch your breath. Steve can’t take his eyes off of you as your eyes flutter shut, head falling back as another sweet moan leaves your lips, losing yourself in the pleasure from such a simple action.
You’re not sure when, but your hands made it to Steve’s back, fists bunched up with the fabric of his shirt, not wanting to touch any part of him that might hurt, but needing to grab something. 
“Does th- this happen a lot?” He manages to ask, and in his head, he’s rolling his eyes at himself, because he wanted that to sound so much sexier than it did. You’re in a whole different world, though, already blissed out when barely anything has happened yet.
“Mhm,” You open your eyes as you answer, the burning desire low in your body growing hotter as the two of you make eye contact again. “Can I- can we— take this stupid thing off.”
Steve laughs, realizing maybe sexy isn’t what either of you need right now; being best friends already, it only makes sense that the only time the two of you can’t form coherent thoughts laced with lust would be when you’re pressed up against one another for the first time.
Pulling his hands back, he gestures to his shirt in the goofiest way, like he’s Vanna fucking White, showing off a purchased vowel. “You can’t take this seriously, can you?” You’re not mad, in fact, you’re laughing with him, and something about the two of you nervously laughing makes you more comfortable being intimate with your best friend. 
“I’m just filling in the blanks for you, angel.” He’s smirking, but he’s also trying to stifle more laughter, so it just comes out as a product of a snicker and a snort. 
“Oh, that was real cute,” You tease, reaching for his waist. “Words, words are hard.” You’re grumbling, tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt, carefully pulling it over his head.
“Yeah, don’t hurt yourself thinking too hard.”
Whatever smart-ass retort you had ready to roll off your tongue disappears at the sight of Steve, now shirtless. It’s nothing new to you, you’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times before, but in the moment, you’re hyper aware of how different this is. There’s no going back, but if you were being honest, there was no going back once you moaned his name in your sleep.
“What?” Steve asks, laughter dying down as he watches you reach out to his torso, tracing his scars, both old and the ones just beginning to form. 
“You’re so… pretty.”
Steve blushes, a rosy red shade blooms across his face, to the tips of his ears. “I— shut up.”
You scoff, “I’m being honest!” He tugs at the bottom of your shirt, waiting for your permission, but your hands hold his back, shaking your head. Shyly, you state the obvious, “I don’t have a bra on.” Of fucking course you don’t, you never sleep in bras. Even Steve knows that, forever impressed with how you could just unhook that damn thing with one hand so casually and slip out of it, pulling it out of your shirt without ever stripping. It’d take everything in him to hold his jaw from dropping, when you just wanted out of a ridiculously uncomfortable bra.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Steve reassures softly, only to follow it up with, “I don’t either.”
“Alright, that’s it, I’m going back to sleep,” You tease, beginning to roll back over, but Steve grabs you quickly to roll you on top of him instead. 
“Like hell you are,” He’s tugging at your shirt again, looking up at you with those sweet doe eyes, filled with wonder and curiosity over what his best friend looks like under everything. “Don’t feel pressured to say yes. We can st—”
You’re pulling your shirt off with a determined speed, like ripping off a bandaid, throwing it on the floor. “I do not look good with these bruises.” 
Steve sits up, all humor and admiration draining from his features as he takes in all of the severe bruising you have from a few days ago. “Wh… how— why didn’t you show me? Or tell me? Fuck, I probably made some of them worse—”
“Hey, Steve, it’s okay. Seriously. I’m okay. These are nothing compared to what you ended up with.”
He shakes his head, ghosting his fingers over some of the worst bruises, blooming in the darkest shades of purple and blue he’s ever seen on someone, including himself, and that says a lot. Some are beginning to grow into that sickly yellow, even greenish color. 
“What the hell do I have to do or say to convince you that you’re allowed to show me your pain too?” He’s not sure what he’s feeling, he just wishes you said something, wishes he knew so he could care for you properly.
“There’s not much you can do for bruises, Steve.” You shrug. “M’sorry, I just wanted to put you first. You’re always caring for everyone else before yourself, and I wish you’d let someone care for you, too. I want to give you the love and care you give everyone but yourself. These mean nothing to me, I just didn’t want you to be disappointed.”
Steve can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Disappointed? From what? How you look with these? Because I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re still a babe with your face wounds, and that applies here too. You have… no fucking idea how badly I want to get my hands all over you, but I think we should stop. I don’t want to make those more painful than they already are.”
“Steve, I can handle it. I bruise like a peach, anyway.” You’re mentioning it casually, but enjoy the way he blushes at your words, clearly thinking of better reasons to be bruised. You smirk, “Feel free to tuck that fun fact away for another day.”
“I— I’ll bring that back up later.” He murmurs, trying to focus. “Anyway… are you sure?”
Rolling your eyes, you grab his hands, bringing them to your tits roughly. “Does this answer your question?”
Enthusiastically, Steve nods, fingers already toying with your nipples, breathing out, “Fuck yeah it does.” You start giggling until he latches onto one of the sensitive nubs, fingers softly pinching at the other every so often, in between grabbing a handful of you. He groans into your skin, thinking about how long he’s wanted to touch you like this, but it’s better than he imagined. 
You’re arching your back as he switches sides, a thread of spit unraveling from his lips that’s still clinging to you;  your eyes to roll back as you grind down onto his lap from just the sight alone, fingers twisting into his locks, tugging softly as he sucks, bites, soothes with his tongue, then repeats.
“I need…” You’re gasping, head falling back; Steve takes advantage of your exposed neck, kissing up your chest before leaving small, soft love bites up to your jawline. 
“You need… what?” He kisses the corner of your mouth, but you can’t take it slow anymore, you need him now. You grab his face to kiss him, and it’s a little sloppy, a little clumsy, but he leans into it anyway. The two of you find a semi perfect rhythm, one that flows with the way you continue to grind onto him. You nip his bottom lip, tugging on it before letting go, and Steve moans into you. 
“Need you, need you right now.” You’re frantically murmuring against his lips.
“We don’t have to rush.” He pulls back, searching your features for any sign that something is off, but all he sees are your lust blown pupils. “I mean, I’m not complaining, but—”
You kiss him quickly before pushing him back against the pillows, shimmying down his body, kissing his scars with care along the way, continuing down until you reach the waistband of his shorts.
“Oh, you don’t have to—”
“Steve, quit being nice for, like, five minutes. Are you okay with this?”
With a gulp he nods, breathing heavily “I— I’m more than okay with this.”
“Thank fuck.” You tug his shorts down, almost drooling as you watch his length spring free, the rounded tip red with desire, leaking precum. “Steve, what the fuck.”
“You’re sending me so many mixed signals tonight, holy shit. Is that … is that good?”
You need to shut your mouth, mind too far in a cock-drunk daze to tease him with words. So, you run your tongue up the underside his cock, broadly, taking your time to reach the head, eyes on him the entire time. Steve yelps on contact, eyes screwing shut as his head falls against the pillow, but he pushes himself to look down at you, bucking against your tongue before you take him in completely.
“Jesus fucking Chri-iiiiiiiist,” He shudders out, hands tangling into your hair as you begin to bob up and down on him. “This… you… hhhhohmygod—”
You pull off with a pop that echoes off the walls, a sound Steve wishes he could’ve recorded to play when he gets off in the future, followed by the sight of you drooling onto his cock as it kicks with need.
“Tell me how you really feel, Steve,” You tease before taking him in again, but he holds your head in place, making you pout. “Am I doing something wrong?”
“No, no, fuck no. Your mouth feels so fucking good, angel, but I need… I…”
“Take your time, babe, it’s okay.” You tease, making Steve groan, both with annoyance and a craving for you to get mouthy, just not now. 
“Fuck me, just need you to fuck me, please baby,” He’s babbling as he tugs you back up his body, hands on your hips as you hover above his cock. “Need to feel you, angel.”
You push your shorts down and throw them to the floor with your shirt. “Yeah?” You lightly rub your core against his cock, and he bucks with a desperate whine. 
“Yes, please, please—”
Words become nonexistent as you sink down onto him slowly, walls slowly stretching around him, adjusting to his size.
“Knew you w- were big, but not like… not like this.” You’re panting, overwhelmed by the slight pain from taking him to the hilt, but the pleasure is greater, rendering your brain useless. Not a damn thing on your mind except Steve and how fucking good he feels so deep inside of you.
“Fuckfuckfuck,” Steve gasps, grip digging into your hips roughly, knowing he’s just adding to your bruises, but he’ll apologize later. “You’re so— never felt a pussy tighter than yours, angel. M’god, don’t fucking move.”
You giggle, and he glares at you. “Don’t— do not do that either, just… fucking sit there for a second, okay? I’m really not trying to blow my load this early.” You’re doing your best to keep stoic, nodding as you fold your hands and wait patiently. “Oh my god, why are you like this?”
Shrugging, you begin to reply, “Why n— oh!” Steve pulls you down to him roughly, kissing you as he begins to move, fucking you slowly from below. He guides you by the hold on your hips, bouncing you on his cock, causing your eyes to roll back as he moves a hand to the back of your head. Holding you tightly against him, your forehead rests against his as the two of you gasp and pant lewdly onto each other’s lips. You’re riding him like no one else has, to the high fucking heavens, and he swears he’s gonna die a happy man right here, underneath you.
“How often have you dreamt about this?” You shamelessly ask, sitting up and leaning back as you roll your hips, grinding down so he hits your sweet spot just right. Steve’s speechless, flexing up into you, jaw slack as your walls flutter around him. “You’re so pussy-drunk right now, huh?”
A strained “Mhm,” leaves him; he’s not even going to hide how he’s putty in your hands, right now, and as long as you’ll have him. Finally, he rasps, “Fuck, wish we did this sooner.”
“We got all the time in the world to make up for it, Stevie.” Your legs twitch and shake, signaling you’re not far off from your high, but they’re also sore still from days ago, and right now, you’re just making them hurt more. Great cause, of course, but it doesn’t dull the pain, so you’re beginning to slow down. “Fuck, my legs hurt.”
“Oh, no you don’t,” Steve pulls you back down arms wrapped around your back, one hand gripping around his other wrist, keeping you stable as he plants his feet against the bed, fucking up into you with everything he’s got. “It’s okay, angel, I’ve got ya’.” He grunts, hammering into you with so much force, you can’t help but moan loudly, almost screaming, but you bury your face into his shoulder, biting down to muffle your noises as you flutter around him. “Fuck, didn’t think you were so vocal.” At this point, you are screaming, but the noise barely leaves you as you keep your mouth on his skin.
Steve’s hips are starting to stutter, and his cock twitches, needy for release. “Good girl, don’t wanna wake up the whole house, right?” That’s the final push over the edge for you; grabbing Steve’s face, you kiss him deeply to keep quiet. The faint, metallic taste of blood works its way onto your tongue, and you realize your semi-treated split lip is split once again. You pull back, trying to keep as quiet as possible, frantically whispering, “I love you, I love you, fuck, I love you—” Following you into bliss, Steve pulls you back onto his lips as he cums, filling you shamelessly as you still squeeze him, milking him for all he’s got as he’s moaning into you.
When the two of you come down, covered in a sticky sheen of sweat and hearts ready to beat out of your chests, the shame hits fast as he pulls back enough to murmur, “Fuck. I didn’t even ask—”
“Birth control is a beautiful thing, babe.” You smile down at him, breathless. Steve sighs relief, thankful for whoever the fuck created the pill. His eyes fall to your lip before thumb swiping the mess away.
“Shit, m’sorry.”
“Worth it. So fucking worth it.” You giggle before he kisses you softly. 
Pulling back, Steve reaches out to cup the side of your face, and you lean into his touch, giddy and exhausted all at once.
He’s admiring the view of you above him, softly replying to your confession, “I love you, too.” 
The two of you are basking in the afterglow of one another, beaming and holding each other tight, unable to move just yet. Steve doesn’t mind taking a second to catch his breath, but then a loud bang against his bedroom door startles the both of you.
“About fucking time!” Robin shouts from the other side before walking away. Faintly you hear her huff, “Noisy assholes.” Steve locks eyes with you, both of you stunned and embarrassed before bursting into a fit of laughter together.
“Still worth it?” Steve teases, and you shrug playfully.
“Worth what, the impending shame fest they’re gonna put us through tomorrow morning?” You lean down to kiss him again before replying against his kiss-swollen lips, “Oh, fuck yeah.”
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hitlikehammers · 2 months
Text
to die by your side (is such a heavenly way to die)
rating: t ♥️ cw: angst with a happy ending (which is actually kinda fluffy?), limbo/near-death experiences, post-S4/Upside Down-heavy, falling in love ♥️ tags: falling for each other in the space between life and death, happy ending
for @steddielovemonth day twenty-six: Love is a fire that never goes out (@sidekick-hero)
this is because of 1) this song being too close to the prompt for me to disengage it in my head, and the chorus therefore dictating this plot line, and 2) @hbyrde36 picked it and, again, I am very susceptible to people indicating they like a thing and would enjoy more, so @hbyrde36: I hope you enjoy what this became ♥️
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“Oh fuck, not you, too.”
Steve looks up—when did he sit down, he doesn’t remember sitting down, he doesn’t remember how even got here, and hey, actually, where is here—
“What?” Steve looks toward the voice; familiar. See the wreath of curls around a pale face.
“This is death, right?” Eddie’s crossing over to him, crouching just beside; “I’m dead, like, I am very sure I’m dead, but you’re here, so—“
“I don’t,” Steve breathes in sharp—tries to get his bearings, tries to see but it’s just black in every direction, his lungs feel like they’re halved in size all of sudden, everything feels tight and painful and hard like inhaling isn’t something guaranteed, and his heartbeat feels like it’s dragging the carcass of something with it when it pumps, laborious and—
He’s is breathing, though, even if it’s kinda half-assed; he’s got a heartbeat, even if it feels like it’s about to fucking give out.
That doesn’t…that doesn’t sound like death.
“I,” Steve licks his lips; his mouth is so fucking dry but swelling kinda hurts and…he’s not as fucked up as he has a feeling he should be, he needs to think harder than he’s ready for just now to figure out what the last thing that happened between where he was, and where he is but: he thinks he should be more fucked up on, like, an instinctual level that knows he should be pretty fucked up, basically, and he’s not.
But again: he still hurts, and that…also doesn’t sound like death.
He swallows anyway; not that it helps.
“Max said there was this, black void,” Steve works through the first thing that comes to mind slowly, processes as he speaks; “with water,” and he looks down and sees the ripples in what he’s sitting in, moving around him but…but the reflections are right, and there’s no light so how are there even wrong reflections; he wasn’t good in his science classes but he feels pretty sure you need light to see anything in a mirror, plus—
“Water,” he flicks his hand from the standing pool around him up at Eddie without warning: “that wasn’t wet.”
Eddie splutters, but it dies down quick: it’s supposed to be wet. He expects it to be.
But it’s not. His eyes go so fucking big.
“It’s attached to the Upside Down,” Steve pushes on; “Eleven can like, come here, but,” he shakes his head and Eddie grimaces: she lost her powers.
“So it’s almost-death,” Eddie surmises, and drops into the not-water next to Steve.
“I guess so,” Steve shrugs, and draws his legs up; hugs his knees.
“Fucking great,” Eddie huffs, sneers, and it’s…Steve not sure why exactly, but it feels…targeted. Directed at him, because one, yes: he isthe only other thing here—as far as he can tell—but the words Eddie’d no-greeted him with float back into his consciousness:
Not you.
“Sorry to rain on your parade, man,” Steve bites out and shoves his head down between his thighs, maybe to breathe, maybe to think, maybe to hide, maybe to fucking cry, maybe to…fuck, he doesn’t even know.
He thinks he’s in the middle of trying to split the difference of every possible thing when Eddie’s voice breaks the still in the dark: “I didn’t,” and honestly, Steve’s never heard that voice sound so soft, so small; “that’s not what I meant,” and it’s an apology even if they words don’t add up exact, Steve feels it clear like a blow to the solar plexus. He turns to Eddie, who’s staring out at the nothing.
“I don’t want to be alone,” Eddie whispers, and his lip trembles, Steve can see that despite the lack of light.
Steve can see tears on that face, too, despite the lack of any light.
“But I hate that you’re here,” Eddie’s voice catches on kind of a whine, and Steve maybe would startle, when a hand reaches out and covers his; Eddie still does look at him, but he flattens his hand over Steve’s like a squeeze:
“That you’re here, too.”
And, oh. Okay.
Okay.
They’re here, then. Together.
Here.
___________________
It takes a while—he thinks; he thinks it’s a while, but one of the first things that makes itself plain in this godforsaken place is how times means absolutely fucking nothing, so; he think it takes a while to remember the vines.
They were coming back for Robin, and Steve would die before he let her get hurt so: that’s the last thing he remembers.
For Eddie, it’s the bats; Steve grimaces, hates even imagining like…swarms of them. More of their bites.
He’s the one who reaches for Eddie’s hand, this time—he wants to say it’s just a little comfort for the particularly bad things that are coming up as they sit here, as they draw patterns in the not-water and blow against it to make little waves just for shits, mindless and stupid: he wants to say that when it gets too much, and then keeps going, when it’s the worst, they’ve started to reach because what else can they do? Who else can they lean on?
Who’s gonna fucking know?
Actually: no. He doesn’t want to say that.
He wants to say the truth: the truth being they touch a lot. They reach a lot. They reach because it’s quiet. They reach because it’s dark. They reach because they’re frustrated. Or they’re scared. Steve could map Eddie’s calluses blind if he was asked to. Eddie traces his veins without being able to see close enough to know that he’s right.
He wants to say the truth: that he wants to touch. He craves it. And not just from anyone.
He craves this.
He doesn’t know what that fucking means.
But he’s the one who reaches, and covers Eddie’s hand, presses down to keep him when Eddie remembers the bats.
And he’s the one who leans, who rests their shoulders together and holds his breath.
But Eddie is the one who doesn’t move away, who leans in too, he tips his head onto Steve and breathes out slow so Steve can feel the warm damp of it on his skin and…
Steve’s heart’s fucking pounding, but then also it’s kinda like fluttering, and either way:
That’s not death.
___________________
Steve likes that the not-water is…not water, because lying back in it doesn’t fuck up his hair. Which…feels cleaner than it should be he figures maybe that’s just the same as both he and Eddie not being riddled with the wounds they should be rights be covered in—he can run his hands through it and that’s really all he wants, his hands, or like, you know if other hands wanted—
Whatever; he’s not going to question the not-water. He’s happy it doesn’t make him a wet dog just for trying to lay back and pretend there are stars.
Which he’d still be doing, if a weird…flapping noise hadn’t started up over to the left.
He has to squint in the no-light to see what the fuck’s going on, something in Eddie’s hands, oh shit, flapping, is it one of those fucking bats—
“What the fuck?”
Eddie freezes, and turns. And Steve sees what’s in his hands.
Doesn’t change his question.
Eddie just blinks at him. And runs his thumbs over the desk of cards he’s holding, flicking them one by one: flapping.
“Where the hell did those come from?”
Eddie shrugs. “Pocket.”
Steve gapes a little.
“You’ve had them the whole time?” because again, even if the feeling’s shifted: what the fuck
“Lots of pockets, man,” Eddie grins cheekily as he shakes his jacket out, like Steve can see any pockets.
Then he’s walking over to Steve on his knees before dropping cross-legged and shuffling the deck before he taps them out on his thigh and leans in:
“Pick your poison.”
And Steve’s played his share of cards, is actually pretty decent at poker, but, like…
“I don’t,” he bites his lip and stares at the predictable red pattern of the face-down cards;“I don’t want to think,” he finishes, kinda fucking lame, but Eddie’s not deterred, flips a few cards off the top with a thump before balancing the rest on his knee, offering half the cards he’s still holding to Steve with a little wiggle of his eyebrows:
“Go Fish?”
And Steve, he, like—
This is not-death, right, but whatever it is, it’s probably not good, and yet here Steve sits, with five cards in his hand and…Jesus.
He feels his lips stretch and he doesn’t think he’s smiled like this in…
In a while.
___________________
“Three Musketeers,” Steve answers when they’re lounging in the not-water, heads lined up so sometimes Steve feels the tickle of Eddie’s curls.
“The fuck?” Eddie huffs a laugh; the question was just things they’d miss if they never get out of here; like, it’s a little morbid and also a little hopeful all at once.
They’ve been working deeper in the category of food for a bit now, and so it’s candy bars. And Steve does not see what’s controversial about his choice, honestly.
“I love those, shit,” Steve waves his hand in the air, dismissing Eddie’s very wrong opinion, here; “they’re just,” Steve hums, tries to figure out the best way to defend a genuinely fucking excellent snack food:
“They’re simple,” and that sounds like a weak defense but look at where they are, look at their lives, that is fucking high praise. “Not too sweet and like, light and airy and,” Steve tilts his head, imagines the mouthfeel:
“Kinda delicate when you bite into ‘em,” he feels himself grin a little: “like bubbles or something,” because…yeah.
They’re awesome, but then he looks over at Eddie, who’s already turned to look at him, his gaze…something. Weighty but not oppressive. Piercing but not painful.
“Sorry,” Steve feels himself flush and it’s no the first time, or the worst time, but he’s grateful just like he is every time that there’s no fucking light and whatever lets them see at all doesn’t give away a blush; “sorry, that’s—“
“That’s adorable,” Eddie says with something…equally undefinable in his voice as much as his eyes, but this thing makes Steve feel, like, warm and tingly, a little, under his skin, in his chest; “you’re right, they’re…” and Eddie reaches for his hand, which they do a lot, yeah, but not…not so often for good things and this feels…like a good thing.
“They’re really good,” Eddie presses his hand over Steve’s, like a blanket, all encompassing—Steve has broad hands but Eddie’s fingers are longer than he’d ever noticed and he—
Steve likes how they fit.
“Under-appreciated, I think,” Eddie’s voice has lowered, softened, and it kinda feels like he’s saying something that has nothing to do with candy bars at all: “because people aren’t looking close enough to see how amazing it is.”
Yeah, for how Eddie’s staring at him, and for how Steve’s pulse has ramped up all of a sudden: Steve doesn’t really think Eddie’s talking about chocolate at all.
___________________
“You’re really good company.”
Eddie turns and blinks Steve’s way.
“What?”
Steve swallows; he’s not sure what made him say it. Except that it’s true.
“I’d have liked it,” he starts, like, expands on the point rather than revisiting the simple part; “if we could have, y’know,” and he gestures between them; “hung out.”
Eddie tilts his head, and he doesn’t smile exactly, but it kinda feels like his whole face, maybe his whole body, is a smile.
“Well,” he huffs a little laugh, like a disbelieving sound; “we’re hanging out, now.”
And Steve smiles the normal way, which is probably lesser to look at, but he wishes really hard that Eddie could, like, slip under his skin and see how it feels on the inside. “Yeah,” Steve grins at the darkness for a second, chews his lips a little, suddenly kinda…bashful, fuck:
“Yeah we are,” and then he breathes in deep, and makes himself be brave with something he doesn’t wholly understand:
“I like it,” and that’s an understatement.
And then Eddie hums, and covers Steve’s hand as he murmurs:
“Me too, sweetheart.”
And Steve’s heartbeat catches on that word, or more, reaches for that word, that name, greedy and wild and it pounds out that same desperate mantra blood-in-blood-out unwavering:
not-dead, not-dead, not-dead, not—
___________________
Eddie’s smile is so fucking pretty.
He didn’t know what Speed was, like the card game, so they’ve each got a pile balanced on a knee as the flip and they’re pressed up tight at their crossed legs to make a little table from their limbs for the discards and Eddie’s just…
It’s not just his smile.
“My grandpa taught me to play,” Steve comments idly, mostly just for something to say when it looks like they’re stuck and need to flip from the sides.
“It’s chaotic,” Eddie looks up and meets Steve’s eyes, his own fucking glittering when the lack of light should make that impossible but Steve thinks Eddie is kinda impossible so probably it fits.
“I like it,” he proclaims, as he reaches for another card to start the momentum back up, raises an eyebrow at Steve and waits for him to follow suit like he’s the expect, like Steve didn’t fucking just show him this game—
“You would,” Steve snorts and Eddie?
Eddie just beams bigger, and that catches in Steve’s pulse, nudges it to sing something that’s more than just not-dead; that’s more…
That feels more
___________________
It’s the more-feeling that breaks him, in the end.
“You called me big boy.”
Steve doesn’t really have control over his mouth, when it happens. Or else, like, he doesn’t think before the words tumble out, and the lie in the not-water and stare at the absence of the starts in the not-sky.
His heart’s jumped up to his throat, now.
Eddie’s quiet, for a while, even if time doesn’t mean anything here; Eddie’s quiet, and Steve’s heart wants to jump out of his fucking mouth but if it does than it’s got two destinations: it can’t drown in the not-water so that’s fucking useless, and then there’s Eddie, Eddie’s hands, Eddie’s chest and—
“I,” Eddie finally speaks, and his voice is rough, far away;“I, yeah.”
Steve doesn’t know what he was expecting. He wasn’t planning on saying anything so there weren’t any expectations built in.
“You looked at me,” Steve’s whispering, but it wavers, it moves with the force of his blood; “like you…” Steve licks his lips, swallows a whimper because what is he doing, what is he doing—
“Being almost-dead is really going to take the thunder out of your backlash on this, Harrington,” Eddie cuts into his panic and Steve’s head snaps over to look, to try and read Eddie’s expression: scared. Bracing for impact. Like Steve would, like Steve could ever—
“No, no, I,” Steve raises himself up and scoots over to Eddie, grabs his hands and presses them together in his own, never once looks away from Eddie’s eyes as they stretch wide.
“What did you mean?” because Steve’s started this, and Eddie’s anxious for it and…he needs Eddie to understand he’s not upset, he’s confused, his heart’s all swollen for it, he just, he—
“With the, with calling me that, and with leaning in like you did in the woods,” his breath’s shaking on the exhale: “with all the looks,” and he tries to leave it all in his eyes, on his face, open and clear for all that he doesn’t understand, but also for all that he…that he hopes.
Eventually, Eddie sighs, and squeezes his eyes shut tight, almost like a wince.
But he doesn’t pulls his hands away.
“You’re not stupid, Steve.”
Steve shakes his head, even if Eddie can’t see it.
“I’m very stupid.”
And Eddie’s eyes fly open, look wrathful, look offended on…Steve’ behalf, what the fuck?
And yeah, yeah, he’s opening his mouth now to fight him, to fight Steve about Steve and…no. No, that’s not the point.
“I’m stupid,” Steve says again, but quick so he can get it out; “about like,” he tries to find the right words and remembers Robin’s point on it once:
“About, you know, matters of the heart.”
Eddie’s features slacken, and his mouth drops open as he blinks at Steve before he eventually chokes out:
“Heart?”
But Steve can hear it. He can hear the confusion, like his own, but also just like his own:
He thinks he can hear the hope.
“You held that bottle to my throat and all I wanted was for you to lean closer,” he confesses, and it feels amazing, like he can breathe again, or see in color even though there’s so little color, here.
“And slit it?” Eddie croaks, incredulous, still a little slack-jawed and Steve laughs, because he can breathe, and—
“And kiss me, you dick.”
Eddie’s mouth snaps shut, and his eyes somehow get bigger, and his chest’s heaving and Steve wants that not to be for fearing, he wants Eddie to be anything but scared, he wants Eddie to be hoping—
“Stevie,” Eddie barely breathes and…it’s not scared, or else, not like it could be. It’s hesitant. It’s…full, of something Steve thinks might be incredible.
“You call me sweetheart,” Steve leans in, pushes the point, leans more until he’s close enough where he can feel Eddie’s breath on his face; “here. Now.”
Eddie nods immediately, doesn’t try to hide from it.
“Yeah, I do,” he breathes, and watches Steve so careful, unblinking.
“What does it mean,” Steve pushes, angles his lips without even thinking, without making the choice but Eddie?
Eddie makes the choice, and he kisses Steve so fucking sure and sweet and still wild somehow and Steve never wants to not be here. Never wants to not have this mouth under his, never wants to not have Eddie’s hands in his own: he doesn’t wholly understand it, where it comes from or what all it means but…his heart’s fucking dancing, the joy’s almost sore for it’s size and when Steve breathes between them, when they break for half a second to breathe and stare and marvel and Eddie looks like he’s entranced, like he’s overjoyed, and the only other thing here is Steve?
Fuck. Fuck.
If this ends up being death, that’s okay. That’s okay, as long as there’s also this.
___________________
He’s on top of Eddie’s chest, curled so so close, when it starts to feel…different. In his body. Like something pulling him.
The dark is still absolute but it almost feels like they’re on the brink of something, like dawn could come.
Steve fucking hates it.
“I don’t want to die alone,” Eddie whispers against his head, kisses at his hair.
“I don’t want you to die,” Steve grits out, almost violent, because isn’t this how it started, wasn’t that what Eddie meant, that he didn’t want Steve here, too—but Steve won’t accept that.
He cannot fucking accept that.
“I don’t want you to die at all.”
Eddie drags the tip of his nose back and forth against Steve’s hair some more as he breathes, breathes, breathes—
“To die by your side,” Eddie murmurs low; “would be my privilege,” and Steve chokes on a whine, a sob—it’s too much. It’s too much, and he needs this man, he needs him so much, he think he fucking loves hi—
“Maybe it’s not dying,” Steve tries, looks out into the abyss and he can’t see what’s on the way but he feels it; they both feel it: “maybe we’ll,” and he grabs Eddie’s hand and brings it to his lips.
“Maybe we’ll wake up.”
Maybe. Maybe.
“Kiss me,” Eddie exhales and Steve pulls back, slides up Eddie’s chest and hovers over him, makes to claim his lips but then Eddie lifts a palm, pauses Steve as he presses it over his racing heart and blinks at him, makes the tears fall from his lashes:
“Kiss me again when we wake up.”
And Steve will, he will, but.
He’s gonna kiss Eddie now, too. He’s going to kiss Eddie always.
He thinks his heart’s going too fast to beat out words but that, in itself, has to mean something that isn’t…death.
So he pours that conviction, and all the hope he’s got left, into Eddie as he devours him, breathes into him like they can melt together, like if Steve’s air lifts Eddie’s lungs they’ll be one person, one living soul and whatever happens…
Whatever happens will take them both.
___________________
Eddie splutters, clutches his chest; his heart’s racing, it feels like his blood’s on fire because every beat fucking burns, and the tear of his shirt where it’s stuck to his skin—dried blood, fucking hell—all up his side is absolutely disgusting, Jesus fuck—
“Eddie!”
He turns and that, that’s Henderson, and he squints; that’s Henderson running toward him, less than a minute away at that pace and Eddie doesn’t know if he can sit up but he’ll try, he digs his fingers into the mud and makes to lift—
And then something crashes into him, pins him right back down.
Covers his hands. Presses.
And he can’t get a word out, can barely fucking breathe before his lips are covered, before he’s being kissed so fucking desperate and giddy and all these feelings being fed straight into him, his heart leaping up in his throat to steal a taste but it doesn’t need to, it doesn’t need to because he feels…he feels it all everywhere, and he looks up and he shakes, he laughs, he’s gonna fucking cry—
“You woke up,” Eddie whispers, marvels, thinks his whole face is going to split open with, with joy and Steve, Steve is here, and he’s smiling back, and he’s breathing and they’re, it’s—
There’s light here. Steve’s eyes are like molten copper, they flicker, they shine.
“Promised,” Steve murmurs close, his lips moving Eddie’s lips with each syllable and the taste is, is…sweet and soft and light and perfect and Eddie almost doesn’t ask because it feels so right, so unquestionable but also he wants, something fierce and unwavering, and he needs to be sure where the water’s real, and the ripples mean something when you shift the whole fucking world, when you feel this big you know it’ll move the earth breathe your feet, so he has to ask:
“That the only reason?”
He still feels the hope from wherever they were, though; he feels it still, here, and he believes in it more in the light, he thinks, and he looks at Steve, takes him in, sees his chest rising and his pulse at the neck: real. Real, and so beautiful, and so, so—
Steve leans and kisses him hard, almost painful but it’s divine, Eddie will bask in the sting of it for the rest of his fucking life if he’s allowed, and then—
Then Steve pulls back and pins him with his eyes, now, fierce and on fire and they steal Eddie’s breath with feeling, with intent as Steve grabs at his shoulders, pulls them flush together and growls against his ear, like a vow almost:
“Only reason?” Steve huffs, shakes his head. “Not even close,” and he drags his lips over Eddie’s skin, catches Eddie’s hair, weaves into Eddie’s heartbeat:
not-dead, not-dead, not-dead
in-love, in-love, in-love—
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tag list (comment to be added): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 
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myfictionaldreams · 1 year
Text
Don’t Fall Asleep // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: It was supposed to be a normal day, but not in fate's eyes as you and Sam are hit by a drunk driver. How will Steve and Bucky react when they hear their girls been hurt?
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, angst (LOTS), Fluff, car crash, blood and injury, crying, anxiety, hurt/comfort, recovery, domestic bliss, teasing, praise kink, daddy kink, fingering, multiple orgasms, nipple play
Words: 5.1k
my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link 
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Life is precious, something that many take for granted. On occasions, phrases such as ‘live life to the fullest or ‘you could die tomorrow, take the opportunities as they come’ are often quoted but then disregarded. Every person who is living, has ever lived and will ever live; will experience the positives to living, the happiness that swells in their chest but then the balance to this, that makes living so tumultuous was the sadness and darkness that could destroy lives in a blink of an eye.
You, for one, were thankful for all of the time that you’d been able to share with Steve and Bucky. They’d changed your life to an unimaginable level, having never experienced true love, protection and simplicity until being in their areas. But of course, happiness can only last for so long, too many opportunities for near misses within the mafia that your luck was bound to run out at some point.
The real kick in the teeth was that this darkened day in your life was even centred around the gang and its criminal activities. In fact, it had been a rather plain day for you, starting the same as any other, Steve and Bucky attending the office to make sure everything was running smoothly and you’d planned to run some errands with Sam Wilson, your friend and bodyguard.
So far, you’d been food shopping, collected a couple of parcels and now were on your way to the art shop to pick up a few supplies for Steve who liked to draw in his spare time.
Sam was driving the two of you, rolling his eyes playfully as you flicked through the radio channels, not finding any satisfaction with what was being played and being too lazy to connect your phone to the bluetooth.
“Oh, I love that song!” Sam gasped, brushing your hand out of the way and switching to the channel you’d just casually skipped past. You laughed at his excitement, happy to also listen to the song if it made Sam happy which by his exaggerated singing, he was definitely enjoying it.
The roads around you weren’t excessively busy, thankfully the football was on so the majority of people were inside a bar and watching that. It was just a perfectly mundane, normal day but life always liked to test your limits when you least expected it.
The initial impact was something you wouldn’t ever remember, as a drunk driver smashed into your side of the car, causing it to flip several times before landing upside down. You’d been knocked out for a couple of minutes, only just waking up as Sam’s urgent shouts made it through the buzzing in your ears, your entire body felt lifeless and drained as he was able to undo your buckle and pull you a safe distance away. The drunk driver who had crashed into you had died on impact.
It was as the sirens blared in the distance, did you begin to feel the wetness and warmth starting from your head and moving down various parts of your body but you were completely dazed to understand that you’d sustained a head injury, your right wrist and leg broken and pointing in the wrong angles and a multitude of cuts and gashes covering your exposed skin due to the glass.
Sam was holding a section of his ripped shirt against the area of your head that was thumping along with your racing heartbeat, and in his other hand, he held his phone plastered to his ear. You couldn’t tell who he was on the phone too, but the desperation in his eyes, as he looked down at you, it wasn’t good. As you had taken the direct hit of the car and Sam was on the other side, he had the pain and aches from the whiplash, a deep gash through his eyebrow that was steadily leaking blood and then a scattering of cuts from the glass, otherwise was mostly unscathed.
“That’s it, sweetheart, keep looking at me, the medics aren’t far away”, Sam’s voice sounded as if he was underwater, completely drowned out by the high-pitched, excessive buzzing that still consumed your consciousness. “Yeah, she’s awake-” Sam continued on the phone, unbeknown to you, to your boyfriends who were already in the car and driving to the area.
Oh course, he had already called the medics, as well as a couple of people from the growing crowd around the accident and soon after called his bosses, Steve and Bucky who sounded like they were both going to throw up and kill someone at the same time.
“Sam?” you managed to ask, not for anything in particular, in all honesty, you were just trying to reach for some kind of comfort and seeing him above you as just that.
“It’s ok, the boys are nearly here, you’re doing so well, just keep your eyes on me, please sweetheart, NO- don’t close your eyes”, Sam tried to keep you awake, dropping his phone onto the pavement below to give you his fullest attention but you were already unconscious again.
The next time you’re awake again, the paramedics had arrived and neck support had been attached to keep you stationary. “Hey y/n, can you hear us? Can you squeeze my finger for me?”, the closest medic was asking but you didn’t respond, mostly still out of it, dazed and confused.
Then across the commotion, the deafening screech of ties breaking across the tarmac was heard and the frantic shouts of your name as Steve and Bucky had arrived. This was something you would never remember, your eyes closed before they even reached you and it was probably for the best that you couldn’t remember it, possibly only adding more trauma to the situation.
Sam stepped back and watched the scene unfold before him, giving both of your boyfriend's room to be next to you as the medics continued to look after you. The bodyguard wiped a hand over his face, ignoring the painful injuries as tears welled in his eyes at seeing his bosses and also life-long friends completely break down.
They seemed lost between wanting to still be possessive, demanding to know everything that the medics were doing, and then the heartbreak of seeing you so injured and unresponsive, they didn’t know whether to shout or cry. At one point Bucky had to step away to vomit, it was complete chaos.
It took a couple of days for you to be fully conscious again and even this wasn’t a relief, even though it was something that Steve and Bucky had begged to anyone that would listen to occur. The confusion of the accident was still evident, unsure of where you were, why you couldn’t move properly, and why there were so many things attached to your body. You became quickly hysteric, ignoring the pleas from Steve and Bucky to try and calm down but your response was enough that the doctors deemed it appropriate to try and sedate you back into a peaceful sleep.
This was definitely for the best as you weren’t able to comprehend the state of which your boyfriends were even in, something that definitely would have upset you further. They both hadn’t changed their clothes the entire time, malnourished of food and drink as they obsessively sat next to your bed, day and night, unshaven, the whites of their eyes red from lack of sleep and crying. Both would take it in turns to go to the toilet before coming so you always had someone next to your bed, it was obsessive and no matter how many times the Doctors tried to escort the men to get some real sleep, they would simply shoot daggers at the professionals with their eyes before being left to it.
 Thankfully after every scan and test that was done, it was determined that there would be no lasting damage, the wound on your temple was sutured with dissolvable stitches and your wrist and arm were placed into casts, with physiotherapy planned in the future and of course, your body was deeply bruised along with whiplash strain. Now, they just needed you to wake up to assess the memory loss and if there was any other damage from the impact to your brain.
They were lucky that the gang were able to continue as usual with the remaining members who had all been ordered to not disturb you all, no distractions necessary. Natasha was the only person to have the courage to visit and thankfully didn’t back down from the fight as she gave both of her bosses a stern talking too.
“When she wakes up, which SHE WILL, do you think she’d want to see you both looking like this? She’s injured and will be for some time, she shouldn’t be waking up with you both in this state, it’s probably make her more distressed. You need to get your shit together, go and shower, shave, eat a proper meal, and put on some new clothes so that when she wakes up, she has some stability and you’re actually prepared to look after her rather than moping around feeling sorry for yourselves!”.
In any other situation, Steve and Bucky would have been ready for a fight but Natasha’s brutal honesty was what they needed to hear, not as their employee but as their friend so they did exactly that.
Another 24 hours passed and you were finally beginning to stir, eyes fluttering open and head turning in the direction of the welcoming voices of your boyfriends and for the first time in days, they saw a hint of a smile on your beautiful face. You had no recognition of the last few days or anything from the accident but after a few further tests, they were happy to discharge you home to rest which you needed as it was complete agony to try and move with the ache in your muscles.
The two men didn’t seem to want to let go of you the entire time, if they were holding your hand, they were rubbing small circles against your uninjured leg, or stroking their thumb against your cheek, it was almost as if they were scared that once they let go of you, something bad would happen.
This only aided with the fact that you couldn’t walk was just another excuse for Steve and Bucky to carry you everywhere which was difficult at first with the discomfort in your body but it was better than any other option and it meant that you could properly embrace them, even for those short moments.
Then at long last, you were home, and you couldn’t deny crying happy tears as you saw the decorations that had been left in surprise by the Rogers gang, banners reading “welcome home!” and balloons covering nearly every surface of the living room. Everything was perfect, even the natural smell of your home was enough to have you crumbling into a mess.
It was hard to try and get accustomed to living at home after surviving such a traumatic experience, the physical and emotional toll was something no one could have prepared you for. As the three of you settled into your bed that evening, you had to find the right way to lie with the casts on your limbs still making it difficult to move and the ache still throbbing throughout your neck and spine, it wasn’t particularly comfortable. But finally, with you lying in the middle, your leg propped up on a couple of pillows, Steve to your right and Bucky to your left, you began to comprehend everything that had happened.
You sobbed harder than you thought possible, even becoming breathless as you verged on hyperventilating at thinking about your life nearly ending. Steve and Bucky tried to soothe you but their own emotional trauma came to a head as they too revealed their devastation at nearly losing you, both men crying as you all held one another.
But as the saying goes: ‘time heals all wounds’.
It wasn’t easy, not that you’d expected it to but as each day passed and your body ached less and less and the scratches began to heal, it lessened the pain in your heart. There would always be struggles but they were made easier with your devoted boyfriends.
With the broken wrist, it was difficult to cut your food and eat so Steve and Bucky insisted on feeding you, even if you could use your one hand to lift a fork to your mouth, they were going to make sure you rested in any way, smiling as they fed you every bite of every year. The worst change was going to the toilet, the boys offering to wipe but this was one step too far, you could do that but it was getting up again off of the toilet or waking them in the middle of the night that had your cheeks burning with embarrassment but they were more than happy to help you
“I’m here to look after you, no matter what it is that you’d like, I WANT to do it Doll. Ii know you want some dependency but this isn’t forever, it’s just for now so please let me look after you”, Bucky sweetly said after you frustratedly dropped your shirt to the floor, having been struggling to put it on for a while.
After a week of being home, Sam finally came to visit and once again you found yourself crying as he dropped to the couch and you both held onto each other. He’d been given some much-needed time off to recover and had been visiting his sister and nephews but now, he wanted to come and visit, really see that you were healing.
Finally gathering your emotions, you pulled back and wiped your face of tears, a genuine smile replacing your sad features as you saw the scratches over his face had most healed, only leaving the healing cut over his eyebrow.
“Everyone is going to love this new rugged look”, you commented, glancing at his injury. “The ladies will come running with the bad boy look”.
“Ah I know, who could deny such a handsome face, it’s a curse believe me”, he joked back, relief also settling over his body at hearing you relaxing. “Even better now we’re matching, bet we look like a right pair of hooligans”, he joked, looking up at the plaster still attached to your head covering the healing stitches.
“I think it just adds character”, you grinned back at him before your smile slowly faded as your tone became more serious. “Sam… I can’t even begin to thank you for looking after me”.
Sam’s eyes dropped to look into his lap, losing the strength to hide his emotions, “I didn’t do much-”.
“Yes, you did! You pulled me out of the vehicle and looked after me before the medics arrived, but it’s not just during this accident, you’ve always looked after me. I’m so grateful to have you in my life and I’m so glad you’re ok”.
Sam’s eyes twinkled as he looked up, his throat bobbing as he couldn’t muster up the words to talk, instead just pulling you into a hug that conveyed more emotions than words could have. Steve and Bucky also pulled Sam into crushing hugs, “Thank you for looking after our girl”, whispered between friends.
“Please go and put your feet up Sam, you deserve the time off!” you shouted after Sam as he moved towards the exit.
“I’ll try my best Boss Lady, you rest up too”, he replied with his beaming smile returning to his handsome face.
Another day passes as you sat at the edge of your bed with Bucky on his knees between your legs, his expression stern and unblinking as he concentrated on his job at hand.
“How does it look, is it horrible? Is it long? Do I look ugly?” you asked, looking up at his face as he leaned in closer to your face, his fingers gently easing the plaster away from your face as he inspected the stitches on your head.
“You could never be beautiful”, he mumbled under his breath, easing the last corner of your plaster off and then sitting back to assess the sight before him. Bucky’s face dropped causing your heartbeat to increase frantically in your chest.
“What? Is it bad? Bucky what is it?!” you asked desperately. Racing across the bed, you tried to pick up the hand mirror to have a look yourself but Bucky snatched it up before you could grab it, holding it at arm's length so that you couldn’t reach it.
“I’m not sure that you’ll want to see this Doll”, his voice was low and thick with concern.
“Oh my god Bucky please tell me, has it healed wrong?” You were really beginning to panic now, about to call for Steve to come and help when Bucky’s hard exterior broke and a taunting grin spread across his face making his eyes crinkle in the corners.
“You look just as beautiful mama”, he affectionately whispered, kissing your cheek and handing the mirror to you to show that the injury was nearly completely healed, only a different toned colour lay on your forehead, the stitches mostly invisible.
You rolled your eyes dramatically realising that he had been teasing you, “That wasn’t nice Barnes”.
“Ah, but you love me”, he mocked, lips brushing against yours softly, only enough to feel the slightest pressure of his soft lips.
“Yes I do”, you gave in instantly, using your uninjured hand to cup his jaw tenderly, stroking against his slightly stubbled skin, holding him there to kiss more deeply.
Before anything became too heated, Bucky was pulling back, pecking the tip of your nose before helping you into his arms to carry down for some dinner.
This was how it had been since returning from the hospital. It wasn’t that you were rushing to be intimate with them but they were both so adamant about your healing that there had been a very strict: no-touching rule. At first, when it even hurt to move you were more than happy to comply with the instruction but as your mobility improved and their kisses began to linger for longer or hands would wash over your body with more intent than to clean your skin, it was becoming more difficult to resist the urges that you were experiencing.
Downstairs, Steve was preparing a stew for you all, chopping the vegetables on the counter and smiling over his shoulder as he saw you and Bucky approaching. As Bucky placed you at the dinner table that was in the sizeable kitchen, Steve wiped his hand on the kitchen towel and sauntered over, leaning his arms on either side of your chair, his eyes level with your revealed head injury.
“It’s looking good isn’t it?” Bucky commented as he took over Steve’s job of chopping up the vegetables.
“It does, and it’ll keep looking better with each day, the Doctor did a good job of fixing up my baby”, Steve responded, his finger under your chin to tilt your head back so he could leave a searing kiss against your mouth. Your body leaned into a kiss and then he was moving away far too prematurely, leaving you wanting more but you didn’t verbalise this, not having the heart to complain after they’d been looking after you so much.
“Could I… Could I help in some way please?” you asked, looking hopefully between Steve and Bucky as they continued with prepping dinner. The two glanced at each other before Steve walked over with a chopping board, knife and carrot that had already been peeled. “Thank you!” you beamed up at him, happy that even though there were so many things that they were willing to help you with, they did try and give you some independence.
Not that it was easy to try and chop up a carrot with one hand still in a solid cast so after far too many attempts at sawing into the carrot, you decided instead to slam the knife down in sharp chops, leaving the carrot in three large chunks.
“Um… done!” you nervously announced to the boys.
Steve returned to pick up the chopping board, “good job, baby”, he praised, kissed the top of your head and you grinned as he placed the carrots in with the rest of the mixture, even though it was extremely obvious which carrot you had chopped compared to Bucky’s thinly sliced carrots. You loved the way they handled you, there was no hint of condescension from either of them when you tried to help and it was all to help you get back into a routine of normality.
Even if they did still continue to feed you which you secretly enjoyed now as it meant you get to sit in either of their laps and feel close to them.
That evening, you asked if you could have a bath which they were happy to help you into, Bucky was in charge of keeping your arm and leg outside of the tub to not get the cast wet and wrapping them both in cling film took entirely too long. Whereas Steve was in charge of washing your body with a sponge slathered in shower gel, another insistence from them both, even though you were more than capable of washing your body with your other hand.
You couldn’t wait for these damn casts to be off, “I can’t wait to have a shower”, you vocalised to them both, watching as Steve washed across your shoulders from where he sat on the edge of the bathtub.
“Hmm. I am going to miss this though”, Steve observed, not hiding that he loved being able to look after you. Closing your eyes, you enjoyed the little pamper session but as the sponge grazed over your perked nippled, you couldn’t help but lean into the touch, a moan forming in the back of your throat.
Steve’s chuckle had you looking up at him through half-lidded eyes as he asked, “Did you like that, baby girl?”
“Yes”, you admitted, watching as he did it again, paying particular attention to the very peaks of your nipples and then rubbing over the rest of your breasts in circular movements.
There was nothing you wanted more than to feel their bodies pressed against yours but with your limited use and weakness throughout your entire body, even with your good hand, you knew you’d tire quickly and not be able to satisfy them so you still refrained from asking them to fully pleasure you.
“You’re so beautiful, Mama”, Bucky watched with dark eyes, licking his lips almost hungrily and you whined at the sight, back arching more into Steve’s movements.
As the sponge moved over your body, through the water that lapped against the edges of the porcelain tub, you noticed the way that Steve was pressing more firmly on certain areas, especially in between your legs that had you grinding to feel more.
But like all of the other times, he never made a move to go any further and you were feeling more sexually frustrated than you had before, even after they both helped to dry you with a towel, in between your legs remained damp as your juices still trickled out.
Bucky carried you to the bed, placing you in the middle, the same as every night and you were completely naked, something that you had quickly decided was the comfiest, it always takes far too long to put on your pyjamas when Steve and Bucky always wrapped around you and kept you warm.
As you settled into the bed, leg again propped up on multiple pillows, you waited patiently for the boys to both join you as they cleaned the bathroom. However today, it was taking far too long and if you concentrated hard enough, you could hear them both talking quietly to one another.
As you opened your mouth to ask what was taking them so long, they joined back in the bedroom, removing their clothes, save for their boxers, switched the lights off and clambered into bed. As their overtly warm skin smoothed against yours, your questions slipped into the back of your mind, finding their comfort already distracting.
With a kiss on each of your cheeks, you closed your eyes to try and go to sleep and ignore the agonising ache in your core. But it seemed Bucky had other ideas as his hand rested on your abdomen, over your belly button, his thumb stroking the skin in slow circles as his hand dripped lower and lower.
You didn’t stop him, chest rising and falling with increasing speed as his fingers teased over your mound, the lowest that they’d been since between the accident. Your breath caught in your throat, screaming in your mind for him to keep going, to dip that little bit lower.
Steve’s hand cupped your jaw, the touch distracting you from the one teasing to push between your legs as he forced your head to turn in the direction of where he lay. Opening your eyes, even in the dark you could see his intense stare, as he began to speak, his minty breath coated your face, “Do you want us to keep touching you, baby?”
“Yes”, you sounded more desperate than you’d hoped to, his question feeling like some sort of light in the darkness, now realising this must have been what they had spoken about in the bathroom.
“You sure you’re feeling up to it?”, he continued to ask, his fingers moving over your jaw and down your throat, grazing over your collarbone and still lower until hovering over your left nipple.
“Yes, fuck yes”, you groaned, arching up to feel his hand but he kept it far enough away that you didn’t get the touch you wanted.
“If you get too tired and overwhelmed, will you tell us?”
“I promise!”, you pleaded, moving your unbroken leg to the side slightly, giving Bucky more room. “But…But I also want to touch you, I want you both to feel good!”
It was Bucky who spoke next, his mouth moving to graze the shell of your ear as he tutted, “Not tonight Doll, let us make you feel good, wanna hear your sweet moans, you deserve this, you’ve done so well”.
You were moaning before his fingers even slipped lower but as the tip of his middle finger grazed between your folds and touched against your throbbing clit, your whole body seemed to come alight.
Steve's fingers then lowered as well, in time with Bucky, pressing against your nipples and he groaned at just how hard they were, gently pinching and tweaking them before grasping the entire breast and massaging the tissue.
“You’re so wet for me Honey, is this what you wanted? Did you want us to touch you here?” Bucky teased before nipping the lobe of your ear.
“Wanted it so bad!”, you gasped as Bucky moved lower, finding your hole and circling it a few times, feeling just how soaked for him that you were before pushing in a single digit, not stopping until it was all the way in. “Bucky!”
Your walls fluttered around him, having not been penetrated for what felt like so long now and he was careful to start slow, really building up the pressure which matched with Steve’s hands on your chest, was already driving you insane with arousal.
In and out his finger slowly moved, his thumb skillfully brushing over your clit to match his pace. Then he was adding another finger and your leg widened further, thighs shaking slightly as you had to refrain from reaching out for them both, knowing that you’d end up knocking your broken wrist so kept them at your sides.
“That feels so good Bucky,” you praised, turning your head towards him.
“Yeah? Want me to make you cum, Mama?” he asked, his lips now hovering over yours.
“Yes, please!”.
As his lips met yours, hastily moving against each other, Bucky’s fingers began to curl and his thumb applied more pressure. Every nerve in your body seemed to come alive as they were being pleasured and you were experiencing the ultimate thrill. Your core was tightening with each tug against your g-spot, chest rising and falling harshly into Steve’s grasp as he moved between each breast, each sending sparks straight to your cunt.
You were a wet, babbling mess when the overwhelming sensation to cum took over, not even having time to tell your boyfriends but they already knew you were close and began touching you with more urgency.
Your pussy began clenching in quick succession as your orgasm destroyed you, pulling away from Bucky so you had space to scream out his name, hips bucking widely at the touch until it became too sensitive.
Bucky eased his wet fingers out of you, bringing them up to his lips and humming at your exquisite taste that he’d been desperate to taste for so long.
Steve gave you another moment to gather yourself before his fingers began to fill you up, replacing where Bucky was, two fingers rocking in and out as his thumb rolled your clit in a circle. Bucky’s metal fingers then teased your pebbled nipples, the cool feeling making you gasp more.
“Let’s see just how many more we can get from you, baby” Steve growled into your neck, sucking the sensitive skin.
“Yes, Daddy”, you moaned whilst lost in your ecstasy.
Steve and Bucky worked well together, knowing exactly when to slow down their movements, letting you get used to the sensations before ramping up the speed and pressures, bringing you to the peak of orgasm before starting again. They took it in turns until your breasts were sore and puffy and your hole ached and your juices soaked the sheets below.
You were a mumbling mess when they determined that you had enough, your entire body feeling like it was floating and light as Steve licked his fingers clean one more time before tucking you in close to his side.
“You feeling ok, Doll?” Bucky asked, sliding in close as well, his arm wrapping around your middle.
“Mmm so so good”, you muttered, eyes drooping close with exhaustion. “I can’t wait to take these casts off so I can repay the favour”.
Steve’s checked vibrated against your ear as he chuckled, kissing the top of your head, “Get some rest, my love”.
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monrageo · 9 months
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Saw a lot of Spider-Steve art so I had to jump in. Most art modernised him but I want my 80s, mallrat, neon lights Spider-Man + I wrote his origin story. *POSES FOUND ON PINTEREST*
Also Steve looks great in the classic red and blue but I wanted him to have his own costume so yellow he shall be. Now onto my headcanons.
In a world where Hawkins is a megapolis a teen boy gets bitten by a radioactive spider in 83’ while visiting Hawkins Lab (Think less abandoned more Oscorp/Alchemax) and so it begins. He starts doing small good things around the city, experimenting with his powers.
But he isn’t thinking about being a superhero or anything close to that (I imagine the drawing with the sweats and goggles is his first “costume”). Then he gets with this amazing girl-Nancy Wheeler.
Life is looking up for Steve he’s got these weird powers that get him to be the basketball and swim team captain. He’s popular, he’s got this amazing girl that inspires him to be better and better.
He looses his popular crowd friends, he wants to be better. He starts thinking about the superhero thing and actually goes through with it. He isn’t shouting it from the rooftops but news is getting around that a guy in spandex is busting criminals- Spider-man/King Spider.
Steve gets cocky, thinks he’s on top of the world, untouchable. Then Will Byers goes missing-that’s a whole separate story. Nancy and John start their investigation. Steve gets jealous etc.
In the end a battle breaks out and Steve is unable to save one person-Barbara Holland. His girlfriend’s best friend. That of course destroys Nancy. She doesn’t know Steve is Spider-man, she seeks comfort in him but things are not the same.
There’s this whole thing with Jonathan, the obvious attraction, the compatibility. But also Steve’s guilt, his self hatred. He realises he was too blindsided by his cockiness. Barb’s death is on his hands. He breaks up with Nancy and solely focuses on being the best Spider-man he can be.
That of course costs him friends etc. but when you’ve been through what he has high school drama just seems pointless… and so King Steve falls from the throne.
I imagine the Nancy story line parallels the Gwen Stacy one in the original comics (without the death and clones), maybe Nancy even blames and hates Spider-man the way Gwen did… that also contributes to the Stancy break-up.
Perhaps Nancy becomes hyper focused on catching this Spider-man so he can be held accountable for Barb’s death.
Anyways now Steddie, I think Eddie would love Spider-man / King Spider he’s some guy with spider powers and bright spandex that helps people, super camp, Eddie would love him.
I think Steve starts noticing Eddie in a new light when his lunch table tirades now also include how awesome spider-man is. This unapologetic support makes the now loser Steve feel like it is all worth it-the stress, the pain, the loneliness-
Tough he of course knows Eddie isn’t talking about him, he’s talking about Spider-man, the hero. Not the former popular guy Steve Harrington.
I have many ideas regarding a Stranger things!Spider-verse and which characters could be what. Maybe Barb’s death was something Lizard-like, but upside down version. Like something from the lap infected her? I like the idea of Steve’s father being involved in the labs, perhaps as a Norman Osborn parallel, without becoming the Goblin though.
The goblin/Norman/Harry Osborn storyline could be reimagined with Tommy perhaps??? Then Venom with Eddie (so perfect) or Billy (a tragic end)??
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ozzgin · 4 months
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I can't get your yakuza headcanons out of my mind, Daitou's got me in a chokehold and I'm not complaining, like--
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in regards to that doodle you made to show height difference between reader and the boys [I love your art btw (●♡∀♡)] - I can't picture myself in reader's style, I'm currently going through my goth phase in my 20s lmao; picture a big bitch with tattoos and messy hair who's listening to nothing but 2000s hits and screamo bands - so I'd like to request a headcanon of how Daitou would react to a gender-neutral reader like this :D I also like to incorporate the idea of them once being in a famous band that he's a fan of! (sorry if this seems like a lot, I have a huge imagination hehe)
but if he's more into the cute and helpless type, I'll just walk my ass out the door and yeehaw my way into another yandere's arms ✌😔
That's on me for not drawing the reader inserts as cartoonish cinder blocks :') In truth I'm a little bit embarrassed seeing how many likes that doodle has gotten, it was something I put together in a hurry and the clothing was meant to be baggy, shapeless, with not too many folds for the sake of simplicity. I myself am more of a pilgrim goth, just to emphasize the randomness of the choice.
Drawing reader inserts always leaves me a little anxious. If I use a light shade of gray, will people think I'm excluding poc? Will plus sized readers feel like they've been disregarded? What about masculine readers? As someone who's demiromantic I always struggle taking appearance or gender into consideration, because to me it has no influence whatsoever. Which is hard to express when you want to offer blank slate visuals as an extra to the story.
What I'm trying to say is that all of my characters would like you for who you are. Sure, they find your looks cute, but it's not the defining reason. Maybe you have similar traits to them, maybe you're the complete opposite and they find it intriguing. You could be a buff man and Daitou would be just as grateful to have someone who isn't afraid of him. I usually stick to a female reader for bigger stories to avoid messing it up long term, but in the grand scheme of things it makes no difference. I always imagine reader to be a shapeless blob that provides the dialogue I need for the story mood. There's no concrete preference or type for any of my OCs. I mean, ideally you'd like them back and not hang them upside down above a BBQ pit but I feel these are sensible requirements (?).
And now for the actual headcanons since my ramble is over.
First encounter is comically awkward but for reasons you’re unaware of yet. You’re obviously used to people staring at you (more so in a country like Japan), so you were expecting the curious glance every now and then. On the other hand, being under scrutiny, from a man even more unusual looking than you at that, is odd. Mildly uncomfortable. You’re shifting yourself from one leg to another, hoping to be done with the introductions soon.
On his end, Daitou is anxiously fidgeting and trying his best to focus. He’s seen this face before and he can’t shake off the familiar feeling. Where the hell…He obviously can’t downright gawk at you, and he isn’t sure how to politely formulate a question. After several sheepish peeks, it finally dawns on him: weren’t you part of that band he really likes? No, what would the chances be? Then again, how many people out there would look exactly like you? Is it rude to ask? He has no idea. He resumes his mumbled description of the apartment and hands you the papers to be signed.
Back at his place, he finally digs through his merch and sprawls out the available clues. “I didn’t know you were into this kind of music”, Kazuya comments as he looks over the man’s shoulder. He’d come over to ask about the new tenant. “I’m pretty sure it’s them.” He concludes, confidently placing his index over a CD cover. “Huh? Who? The tenant?” Kazuya holds back his chuckle. “Why would a celebrity show up for a shady apartment offer? You’re tripping, man.”
“I’m sorry, this is getting ridiculous.” You finally exclaim, annoyed by the persistent stares of the now two men facing you. You’re standing in front of the apartment building, arms crossed, huffing at the tall scarred man and his blonde friend. “No, I’m sure of it. Even the tattoo is the same.” Daitou turns to whisper to Kazuya, oblivious to your complaints. In turn, Kazuya lightly elbows him, mouthing something about being rude. “Just ask them, man.” He adds, this time louder. “Ask me what??” You groan. “W-were you…um…in this band by any chance?” Daitou manages to blurt out, searching his pocket for the CD case and ceremoniously laying it under your eyes.
Ah. It finally clicks and you exhale, relieved. You confirm their suspicions and show them some backstage photos to solidify your claim. You ask Daitou if he wants an autograph or something, then swiftly scribble your signature on a piece of paper and hand it out to him. He holds it with a wide, childish grin. “You’re a weird one, you know? You could’ve just asked. I guess I didn’t expect to find a fan in the wild, especially here.” Daitou carefully folds the souvenir, eyes lidded with nostalgia. “Oh yes, it’s great. Drowns out the screams.”
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lovely-keii · 11 months
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being their sibling
characters: kageyama tobio, miya twins, iwaizumi hajime, hitoka yachi, ushijima wakatoshi
a/n: comeback?! 🫣
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KAGEYAMA TOBIO
he thinks everything you do is normal, it skews his perspective of the real world. you’re a great painter? suddenly he’s asking his seatmate why her drawings look like that. you sing well? he tells some kid with an average voice that he can’t sing. you’re rich? suddenly he’s calling someone’s car cheap.
obedient, whether or not you’re younger than him. “get me a glass of water, tobio” “ok.” // “my feet hurt, tobio.” “put them on my lap, ill massage your feet.” honestly, really reasonable and kind
he’s so loud when he gets annoyed though. stubs his toe on the coffee table and the next day, you receive a noise complaint. swears a lot too. god forbid he loses one of his volleyball equipment. he’s going to absolutely flip the house upside down.
kageyama is so transparent with you, literally almost no boundaries. he’ll literally go into your room and is confused why you tell him to get out. “why? is there something you need to hide?” somehow knows your password always “why can’t i use your phone? you can use mine.” bro has nothing to hide, hes too comfortable around you
just dont mess with his volleyball things and you’re all good.
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MIYA TWINS
you three are so loud all the goddamn time, your neighbors hate you guys. the two might baby you or look up to you, but you’re never exempted from their mischief. but at least you have your very own bodyguard and sidekicks.
you own literally nothing. things will go missing from your room, and appear in atsumu’s desk. one time, you see your hand cream in atsumu’s hand, and he’s using it to massage his foot after volleyball practice. “what are you doing?!” “i ran out of foot cream. plus, what’s the difference between feet and hand skin anyways? oh hey, it smells nice.”
you can’t store your food just anywhere too, you have to hide it in the most creative spots just to make sure osamu doesn’t get his hands on it. always makes excuses too. “this is OUR house so this is also OUR food” “sharing is caring, and i’m your brother.”
when osamu and atsumu fight, you either get dragged in or you have to start haggling to get between them. you three will fight about literally anything. mainly because you three love to intentionally annoy each other “get out of my room!” “my feet are outside so it doesn’t count.” BAM BOOSH POW!! knuckle sandwich for everyone!
and you three love to pretend to be characters in the show. powerpuff girls? osamu is bubbles, you and atsumu fight over who’s blossom. alvin and the chipmunks? osamu is theodore, atsumu is alvin, and you’re simon. god forbid spongebob comes on, because atsumu insists he’s pearl.
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IWAIZUMI HAJIME
he’s a great brother, in all senses of the word. you leave something at home and he’ll bring it for you. you get into an accident and he’s the first to show up. you lose something and he’ll find it for you.
you see oikawa so often he might as well be your brother too. when you’re talking to people, the two are so irritating lol. oikawa’s teasing you and giggling about it, and iwaizumi is giving you “the talk” which he’s given you dozens of times.
he likes to scold you, but he’s only really looking out for you. he doesn’t like to encourage you when you cause trouble, but a single text from you, and he’s already grumbling and on his way to open the window for you to sneak in.
if you like any of his teammates and he finds out, you’ll get an earful. “there are so many guys in the world and you like him?! you can do better but you’re settling on so little!” and if it’s oikawa, he’s literally gagging and telling oikawa he isn’t allowed to come over anymore.
but also, he’s paying for your deliveries, opening the car door for you, and making you walk in the inner side of the sidewalk, so you win anyways.
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HITOKA YACHI
she makes you talk to your mom and ask permission for her, because she’s too scared to do it herself. feels bad and gives you some cash or snacks to make it up to you if you get scolded in her place.
brings you to volleyball practice with her, and if you’re classmates or in karasuno too, she makes you sign up as manager with her too. you two are almost inseparable, mainly because yachi doesn’t want to do things with strangers, and wants to be with someone she knows.
loves to go out and hang with you. she’s not really a shopping kind of girl, but you two will literally get lost when you get to stationery. you two will frequent cute cafes too. you go under the guise of studying but get distracted by everything.
in the nights, she’ll do your hair and skin routine, and you’ll do hers. you two have a shared playlist and everything, and the both of you will just talk about everything under the sun.
surprisingly has a large appetite around you. she’ll ogle your sweets. “um…are you going to eat that? just asking…”
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USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI
sibling or not, he’s really quiet. doesn’t like small talk or messing around since he doesn’t see the point in it. also can be super blunt with you so he hurts your feelings sometimes, but he’s always quick to apologize once he realizes you were upset by it. “you might have gotten a higher score if you didn’t waste time on your phone last night.” “toshi…” “sorry, i mean it as advice.”
has really good insight into things, so you often go to him for advice. he’s straightforward and likes to cut to the chase, so he’s rarely in between decisions. on the other hand, he can occasionally misunderstand your intentions and feelings and doesn’t understand why some things bother you.
he’ll call you to the backyard to toss to him every so often. you’ve spent a majority of your childhood passing ushijima volleyballs for him to hit and receive, and waiting for him to finish watching a game so you can watch your cartoons.
he always has tickets for you to watch his games. if he hears your cheers, he’ll give you a determined smile. he’ll find you after a game and ask you how it was and if you had fun. has you ride in the team bus to and from games and no one really pays too much mind. (except for tendou who’ll pester you)
on his way back home after a long practice, he’ll stop by your favorite restaurant and get some take out for you.
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purrpletiger · 8 months
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FRESH DRAWING GUIDE:
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Hello everybody, I've come to give you all this absurd reference guide for drawing Fresh. yep. I decided to spend hours slapping this together.
If I got anything wrong or should add anything PLEEEASE lemme know! All ideas welcome!
If you want to see my "research" on this character, let me know in the replies, because there's so much to talk about with him and I'd love to do a character analysis or two, I couldn't put much about his personality or source posts in this because it's just a drawing guide!
Link to all the full images
Transcript and close-ups of the text on the image: (May be in a strange order)
Fresh was created by @loverofpiggies (CQ)
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Main Outfit:
YOLO sunglasses
Backwards propeller cap
Pink Polo shirt
Crayola Jacket
Gold Tooth
SWAG fannypack
Convertible Zip-off pants
White Heelie shoes
Pink socks
He has thick eyebrows to emote! (The eyebrows are usually depicted with black hair but one human design has eyebrows that match the pink hair color!)
The bag says SWAG on it
His glasses say YOLO by default, but the letters can magically change mid-scene...
this design for Fresh is Tall, we dunno how tall but taller than CQ's Sans characters (or just Geno since he's literally sans undertale with some added steps). But his height is just his host's height sooo it can vary.
those (cyan and yellow) shoe details are on the innerside but not outerside
HE HAS HEELIES!
Pink glove cuffs!
his skateboard is inconsistent dont worry about it
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Glasses Off:
The host's soul shows up in their left eyesocket
- The soul tends to look unstable (cracks & a sortve stroboscopic effect.. i couldn't think of a better word.) but not in some cases...
It doesn't have to be a white upside-down heart, that's just a reference to an undertale monster soul.
He has a purple substance full of little RADs that emanate from his eyesockets (when his sunglasses are off)
"The soul in Fresh's eyes CAN be cracked. That soul isn't his. it belongs to his host. And.... after a while.... things go bad for the host, and he needs a new one." -CQ
(example of soul with unstable effect with no cracks) (example of soul with cracks but lacking the effect)
The purple aura(?) can glow and emanate from the eyes when his glasses are on too
i miss this one design specifically. the colors and the SK8 OR B SK8 shirt were peak
I miss the SWAG necklace...
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Fresh leaves a rainbow cloud of smoke when he "poofs". Either teleporting him and his host body somewhere or leaving his host behind.
Human Designs:
Fresh can possess humans too.
They all look physically different because they're different people that he's possessing.
Fresh can possess pretty much any body, but I thought I'd show the varied examples of humans anyway
Don't forget the orange jacket flaps! or his hat propeller!
I dunno what's up with the multicolor tongue thing. I think it was extra parasites in the host's mouth? I feel like it was scrapped at some point... but I could be wrong
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FURBIES!:
Oh yeah, he also does this: (no image for the bat tho)
"I mean when he fights he pulls Furbies out of his magical fanny pack. takes out a wiffle bat. and hits the furby at his enemies.
And then the furby explodes in a blaze of glory." -CQ
Despite using some furbies as explosives, he seems to 'care' about and treat these two like precious babies:
This one is potentially named McFreshby The Fresh Furbrah (Fresh is mentioned to have one named that, and this is the only other furby he's been depicted with)
It can also do THIS: (roll its eyes back into a spookier look)
This is DJ FurBs. that's all i know about him
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The REAL Parasite:
Fresh is actually this little parasite controlling a host body. (if you didn't know that why are you reading this post rn!?! but nah I love new Fresh fans, welcome!)
The main parasite is this purple one with the eyemouth and four(?) tendrils, the other colored tentacles are prrrobably Fresh's offspring (freshmageddon moment?) (I'm not actually sure, I'm just pretty sure they're not part of the main parasite but are parasite tentacles)
You can also see Fresh's five or more purple tendrils here stretching out all over his host's body
All art from CrayonQueen/@loverofpiggies
Reference guide made by PurrpleParrasite/@purrpletiger
pls suggest changes or additions if u have ideas!
That's all!
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oopsallfictives · 7 months
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I'm gonna take a stab at creating an alternate definition of the word delusion, since I'm not a fan of the one commonly used in a medical context. This is gonna deal with some unreality and paranoia-inducing stuff, so read at your own risk.
The definition most commonly used for delusion is a false belief that a person can't be persuaded isn't real or true, even if they're shown evidence to the contrary. This is a flawed definition for a number of reasons, chief among them that sometimes people are just wrong and stubborn about it. We know that it can be incredibly difficult for people to change their minds once they're personally invested in an idea, but that's not the same as being delusional. A person who still believes vaccines cause autism probably isn't delusional, they're just personally invested in the idea because it validates their view that autism is bad and gives them a scapegoat to blame for the existence of autistic people. That's an ideology, not a delusion.
Another flaw is that some things can't necessarily be confirmed to be untrue. One of the most well-known (and commonly mocked) delusions is some variation of "the government is spying on me". This isn't something that's easily verified as either true on untrue, and it's also something that literally does happen to people. I live in the US, where we know the government spies on people. We know that in the wake of 9/11, US intelligence agencies undertook a massive campaign of surveillance of Muslim and Middle Eastern people living in the US. So "the government is spying on me" might not actually be a false belief, and you probably can't know that for sure.
Attempting to rely on a belief being false can be dangerous, too. I remember reading the story of a person who was labelled as delusional for saying Obama followed them on Twitter, and was incarcerated in a psych ward until they lied and said they'd realized they were delusional and Obama didn't follow them. The thing is, he did. It was true and verifiable, but the medical professional evaluating them refused to check if it was true so they didn't "encourage the delusion". Sane people tend to believe they have an absolute and correct understand of reality, and a lot of them would rather call you delusional than adjust their worldview. And if that person is a medical professional, they can completely turn your life upside down and stick you in conditions that the UN has called torture.
So here's my proposed alternative: a delusion is an involuntary belief that isn't rooted in logic or evidence, and that a person can't stop believing even if they know it isn't true.
Let's break that down. The involuntary part is important. Delusional people don't have control over our delusions. We don't believe them because we want to or because we think they're true, we just believe them. It's true that delusions can draw on voluntary beliefs, including bigotry, but believing the delusion isn't a choice. We can't just stop. In the case of delusions rooted in bigotry, the person is still responsible for holding those bigoted beliefs in the first place, even though they don't have control of the delusion that came from them. This is an important caveat, because people love to call bigots delusional for things they chose to believe.
The second part is that it's not rooted in any kind of logic or evidence. If a person believes something untrue due to faulty logic and/or misinformation, that's not a delusion. That's called being wrong.
Lastly, I chose the wording "even if they know it's not true" very deliberately. Some delusional people know, either always or sometimes, that our delusions aren't real or true. I personally always know, but that never stops me believing them. If you've never experienced this, it can be hard to imagine what it feels like to know something isn't true and still be unable to stop believing in it. It's contradictory and confusing and really hard to put into words. Of course, there are also delusional people who don't know their delusions aren't true, or who're confused and can't figure it out. It's not the same for everyone. This part of the definition also covers being presented evidence and being unable to accept it as true.
For some people, being told their delusions aren't true can also be extremely distressing and even push them further into it. Never reality check a delusional person unless they ask you to, or it's part of a crisis plan you made with them. The same goes for playing into or confirming a delusion. Do your best to remain neutral on whether or not their belief is true, and try to focus more on their emotions and how it's affecting them. If you know a psychotic person, it's a good idea to ask them (preferably while they're not having a psychotic episode) how they'd like you to handle it.
I'm open to critique from other psychotic people, but if you're aggressive or mean I'll probably just ignore you. This is just an idea, a rough draft, and I'd like to know what the community thinks. Nonpsychotics can reblog, but keep your thoughts to yourself
-Oliver (it/its)
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dapandapod · 5 months
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For @firefly-party mine beloved wifi, who asked for steddie, and rain against a window.
There is much to be said about living in a trailer, but Eddie always loved laying in his bed and listen to the rain as it was beating against the roof with fierce determination.
Might be a bit cliché, but look, it's cliché for a reason. right? 
Knowing that it's shitty and cold outside, knowing you are comfortable and warm inside, preferably wrapped up in as many blankets as you own, there is just something universal about that.
It's different after the upside down. It doesn't feel as safe, because some nights during a thunderstorm, he is not sure what is beating the roof, not sure what is reaching for him.
It's also different, because instead of the trailer, he is in a shitty apartment now. Walls stained with time and smoke and cheap landlord's poor taste in wallpaper, windows permanently sealed shut for the same reasons.
And because he is not alone.
Maybe that is the biggest part, actually. The best part, too.
The bed is probably a little too narrow for two people, but they make do by tangling themselves so close together it's hard to say where Eddie begins and where Stevie ends.
The duvet is bunched down by their waists, Steve's leg hooked around Eddie's calf, Eddie's arm across Steve's back, Steve's breath against Eddie's collarbones.
Eddie was never particularly hairy himself, despite his huge mop of hair, and that just allows him to feel the smattering of chest hair pressed against him, and the trail leading from Steve's belly button down his boxers. 
The air is stale with sleep and sweat,  the morning grey through their too short curtains.
Eddie is enjoying the sensation between sleep and wakefulness, where you are aware enough to feel, but asleep enough to drift.
The fog clears only when Steve stirs, shifting closer and nuzzling into the crook of Eddie's neck.
The rain outside has yet to give up its fierceness, true to the season, but without the roof of the trailer, without the thin layer of metal making out the husk of his previous home, it feels different.
Instead of hiding underneath a leaf, he feels like he finally found a burrow, a home. 
Not a very good one, objectively, but his nonetheless. His and Steve's.
Jesus, Eddie finds it hard to believe sometimes. 
Steve shifts again and makes a sound, something that sounds like half a snore, half a word, and Eddie finds himself smiling. That famous hair is a right mess, sticking up in every direction, exposing Steve's forehead.
Rain makes him soft, Eddie thinks, as he leans down the few inches it takes to press his lips to that perfectly kissable forehead.
On the floor above them, Eddie can make out the sounds of their neighbors waking up, but he isn't ready for that yet.
It's warm, cozy, safe. 
Steve gives a content sigh and his arm tightens around Eddie, before it travels up, his hand reaching Eddie's neck, under his hair,  his thumb just touching the shell of Eddie's ear.
"We should probably get up," Steve mutters, eyes still closed, lips pouty in the way they are when his cheek is pressed against the pillow.
"Probably," Eddie agrees, lips still against Steve's forehead. Pulling away is impossible, this moment feels like it is plucked out of time, a bubble of their own. "But when was I ever known to make good choices?"
"Hmmmmm," Steve supplies, and Eddie takes that as Steve disagrees, that Eddie is full of infinite wisdom. Good man.
Along Steve's back, Eddie can track moles, like a star chart written in Braille, just for him to read.
Maybe Steve will let him draw them out again, the sharpie only stayed visible for a few days.
"Did you buy eggs?" Steve says, keeping his eyes stubbornly closed as he plays with Eddie's ear, making him shudder.
"Yeah. And ice cream. Today is an ice-cream-for-breakfast-day." Eddie declares, leaning backwards to pull Steve half on top of him.
That's it, he realizes. That is what he was missing. The weight, the security of another person, the proof of being loved and trusted in ways he only imagined back in that trailer, with the world closed off, still only a thin metal wall away.
"Nancy will have my head if I'm late," Steve grumbles, but moves to fill the spaces where Eddie is not, covering him as much as he can.
"Can't be late if you don't go in," Eddie says with his infinite wisdom, cradling Steve closer, closer, close is never close enough.
"Can't fault that logic," Steve huffs. "I really don't want to get up."
"So stay," Eddie whispers.
He doesn't realize how much he needed to hear it, how much he needs Steve, until he says it.
"Always," Steve promises, promises always, always, always, whenever Eddie asks.
The rain doesn't let up until lunchtime. Steve is only let go to empty his bladder, and Steve stays, stays, always stays.
Rainy days are the best.
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adorastarot · 9 months
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Hi do u mind doing reading for jungkook and his future spouse like what attract them to each other what do they like most about their personality or could be physical feature about each other.
Hi there :) Thank you so much for sending your ask! Of course, let's have a look: ♡ Want a personal reading? Check out my Ko-fi
This reading ended up being based on their first meeting (or first few meetings)
What will attract Jungkook to his fs
Ace of wands, 6 of wands, temperance, 9 of pentacles 10 of cups. 
Jungkook did not come to play! The man will be smitten by this person from the get go! His FS has this allure to them that he will find irresistible and I honestly feel like it’ll be the smaller things. Yes the way they look but also the way they smell the way that their presence is above everyone else’s. But this person won’t even be trying hard at all! They will just be enjoying themselves and still they are all that Jungkook is able to see. They do seem to naturally draw people in, we have spoken before about how this person has a femme fatale feel to them however, on the flip side of that this is someone who has a very grounding and easy presence. Around them, you feel like you can just be yourself because they just simply are themselves too. Jungkook will find this extremely attractive, the way that he can just be himself. They may even have a lot of patience and it will somehow be very obvious that this person is trying to not be rude and talk to everyone. Their energy just seems so magnetic. The 10 of cups is very stable emotional energy, and so Jungkook may feel like this person has it all together or that they don’t have a lot of baggage. I feel like this person will be wearing a dress when they first meet?!
What will Jungkook find attractive about his fs
The sun, queen of pentacles, 10 of wands and tower
This person can be very childish in a very endearing and adorable way sometimes. They have an intensity that doesn’t scare people away, instead, it warms them up and he loves this. Personality-wise, this is someone who tries to keep everything in so that they don’t worry those around them, and they only let certain people in which he also really likes - probably because it makes him feel special. The tower…to be honest I see this card being about Jungkook more so than the fs…this person is going to turn his world upside down!  In terms of the physical…this person has a very well-defined waist! They either have an hour-glass body OR they naturally have curvy hips but he just wants to sneak an arm around this person’s waist and claim them from the get-go. This person has a lot of earth and fiery vibes?! Potentially an earth sign with either a fire moon or ascendant or has a heavy earth/fire chart. The main thing that is coming through is that this person has a tiny spark in their eyes, and omg he loves the way this person looks when golden-hour hits them! This got weirdly specific…
What will attract the fs to Jungkook
This person knows that Jungkook is looking up to them and putting them on a pedestal, this will actually make him stand out?! This is someone who definitely likes the attention but interestingly enough they may not know how to behave when they have this attention?! Jungkook is going to come across as looking and being very well put together and taking charge. I don’t know if he is going to boss someone around?! But he may actually try to which will make the fs laugh! It will be important to make this person laugh! I also see Jungkook coming across as a bit of an open book, he will lay everything on the table and not hide any secrets from the fs from the get go! Jungkook is also going to come across as someone who doesn’t hold grudges and who is very willing to let things go. Someone who is able to heal from the past and mature.
What will the fs find attractive about Jungkook
7 of swords, high priestess, knight of pentacles in reverse, queen of cups.
All of these cards have some sort of head piece, so Jungkook may very well be wearing a hat when they first meet? It seems like the fs finds this attractive, but I also keep getting drawn to the eyes of the people displayed on the cards. It seems like whatever hat Jungkook will be wearing will be showing just enough of his eyes, and the fs will really like holding eye contact with him. LEGS! Maybe Jungkook will be wearing something that shows off his long legs?! Because this person will definitely notice how tall he is and how tiny he makes them feel. In terms of non-physical attraction, the energy that flows between the two of them! Jungkook may even come across as a little cheeky and geedy which will make the fs giggle. The interaction that I keep seeing is JK being cheeky which makes the fs laugh then JK smiling softly at them laughing with very sweet and soft eyes.
All the love <3
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layla4567 · 9 months
Text
I'm just a librarian ✿
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Steven Grant/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader
Summary: You work in a library in the middle of London, you get paid well and you love your little reading space surrounded by books that rise to the highest ceiling. But one day your normality will be turned upside down when a guy comes looking for some books on Egyptian history.
A/N: Ok first of all I must say that this idea arose from a little dream I had (and I also wanted to use the image from the movie The Mummy, I mean, just look at her, she is beautiful, she looks like Belle) second, I don't know if this will have more parts the truth is I'm not good at making long stories because then I leave them unfinished or I run out of ideas so, yes, I'm building this as I go along, sorry.
Part 2
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And here I am once again, sitting behind the counter where you could see an old green lamp, a couple of books stacked one on top of the other, a typewriter and a little badge where you could read my name. With my legs crossed I moved my airborne foot rhythmically back and forth following a silent melody while my face rested lazily on my hand. My view was always directed towards the large windows that were near the line where the roof began. They were in the shape of a half circle and had a nice drawing similar to a stained glass window through which the sunlight passed in a warm way.
I loved being around libraries just for the sake of being a bookworm. I could spend hours reading old books sitting in a comfortable chair enjoying the silence without realizing it. But it was kind of boring to sit and wait for people to arrive so that you could help them with whatever they needed. I had already finished arranging the books with the help of the ladder, I loved doing it, it was fun to slide from one side to the other, it was almost like skating.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize someone had entered the library until they were in front of me so I gave a little jump in my seat.
"Oh so sorry! did I scare you? It wasn't my intention"
The person who addressed me was a very polite and kind middle-aged man, he had an innocent look in those pretty dark eyes he had. He was wearing a jean jacket and underneath was a white shirt, he was also wearing khaki pants and had a brown shoulder strap on one side.
"Don't worry, It's okay, I was just thinking, can I help you with something?"
I could not stop seeing his eyes, his look gave off a peculiar innocence glow, I could sense a genuinely beautiful aura like that of a child
"Well, yes. I was looking for books on Egyptian history, you know, gods and pharaohs, myths, pyramids, etc."
Every time he spoke his face would light up with enthusiasm, it was admirable to see
"Sure, we have several. Follow me please"- I said while my smile deepened
I led him through the aisles looking for the "Ancient Egypt" section by the gigantic shelves. The man meekly followed me like a lap dog without taking his eyes off me as he clung to his backpack. When we had reached the section, I took out 4 books, stacking them one on top of the other and numbering them as I handed them over to him.
" "History of Egypt", "Gods and mythologies", "Encyclopedia of the pyramids" and "The 10 most famous figures of ancient Egypt" And remember to return everything within 15 days "
I piled the books in the arms of that man who tried with effort to hold them since they were quite large and hardcover while I raised a finger and recited the prayer from memory. Even though the books were about to fall out of his hands, the man looked from the books to me with a beaming smile.
"Of course, yes, miss, I will do so. Thank you very much for your help"
I smiled generously at the man's good manners and walked him to my desk to finish the paperwork. I sat as the middle-aged man patiently watched me with his books in his arms like a child waiting for his Christmas present.
"Ok, I will give you a paper with the exact date where you must return the books along with our address, I would only need to know your name to write it down please"- I looked at him expectantly
"Steven Grant, Steven with a V"
I couldn't help but laugh at the clarification as if I didn't know how to write his name
"I clarify it just in case. A lot of people always misspell it, sometimes they call me Stephen. But surely you wrote it well, you seem to have nice handwriting hehe"
Steven giggled nervously as I smirked in amusement. What a singular man that Steven was
"No problem, what a nice name you have"- I smiled warmly
Steven got more nervous and his face begins to take on a cute reddish color as he stuttered and mumbled a thank you.
"By the way, my name is Y/n"
I told him, pointing with a fingernail to my badge that was resting on the desk. He looked at it for a while and smiled
"Now I won't forget"
And with one free hand he gave me a childish wave as he uttered a sweet "Laters gators" and headed for the exit. With one elbow on the table and my hand resting on my cheek, I watched him until he disappeared through the door.
"Steven.."
I pronounced his name slowly delighting myself with the syllables, it was sweet as honey and resonant as a bell. I was wondering if I would see him around here more often. I sighed with a lopsided smile and went back to staring at the stained glass windows waiting for someone else to come and help them.
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The days passed and I didn't hear from Steven, he hadn't returned the books within the agreed period and I was beginning to worry. He supposed that this man was a little distracted or had forgotten or was busy with something important, anyway it was very common for people not to return the books on time and to be a little late. My head was full of thoughts hoping nothing bad happened to Steven and hoping to see him again when someone stormed through the library entrance.
"I'm really sorry!! I got there as fast as I could, apparently I fell asleep and woke up in a place full of sand. I have a sleep disorder, I'm sorry"
Steven was talking fast, spitting out the words like a machine gun, he looked agitated and his hair was messy. And on his face you could see the nervousness and concern. I tried to reassure him
"Steven, Steven calm down, it's okay. I get it, you don't have to apologize."
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard trying to provide warmth and protection. Steven giggled nervously and his cheeks turned pink, it was adorable.
"Oh by the way, here are the books"
Steven took out of his bag the books in perfect condition that I had given him. At least he was a man of his word
"Thank you very much Steven, do you want any other books?"
"Well actually yes, if it's not a bother, wouldn't you have one that talks about the moon god Khonsu?"-he said something nervous
I laughed in amusement
"Of course! We have many books on Egyptian gods, take the ones you want"-I said tenderly
Steven for some reason gave me a strange feeling, a maternal need to protect him, he looked so helpless at times. I can't even imagine how chaotic his life must be
"You know something? Why don't I buy you a coffee? I'll give you the new books and then we can hang out and chat, I have a break in 15 minutes."
Apparently Steven didn't expect that so he got even more red.
"I-Is it some kind of date?"
"If you want to see it that way, yes"
Steven smiled like a kid in a toy store and followed me back to the bookshelves. After giving him everything he needed, he waited for me at the entrance of the library like a true gentleman. I left my position in charge of my partner Selma who answered me with a grunt and left with Steven towards the nearest cafeteria.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
We sat at a table close to the street. The cafeteria was decorated with flowers and vines, it was my favorite, it made it look Parisian. We both ordered a simple latte and to eat I ordered a croissant with chocolate and he asked for a kind of vegan burrito, then he explained to me that he doesn't eat anything that comes from animals.
"Well Steven tell me something about yourself, do you have a job?"
"Yes, I'm working in a gift shop at the British Museum. But I would really love to be the one who makes the guides"
"Really? Amazing! who'd say? You are a museum and history enthusiast and I am a bookworm willing to provide you with all the information you want."
We both laughed happily forgetting what was happening around us. Steven's laugh was like sweet nectar to my ears that made all my worries disappear. Except for one that was still on my mind
"Wait a second, how come you woke up in a place full of sand? Where exactly?"
"I have no idea, I wish I knew. But it's not the first time it's happened to me, one day I woke up on top of Everest"
Steven started laughing downplaying it and I laughed too but with less enthusiasm. I was worried about him.
"Well I think I should go back to my work, thanks for everything I really needed to talk to someone and distract myself"
I looked at Steven tenderly, thinking that I was probably the only person he could talk to broke my heart.
"Anytime Steven. Anyway, I also have to go back to work, the time flies by when you talk"
I left a tip on the table and was about to go to the library when Steven stopped me with a question.
"Would you like to visit me one day at the museum? It's that I always visit you...-"
"I'd love to"
We said goodbye with a smile as if we were lifelong friends and each one went their own way to continue with their work on that beautiful afternoon in London.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sorry if it was boring and there wasn't much interaction with Steven but this is just the first part of the story
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