#and 3) he says 'it's not MY fault' because will is pinning the breakdown of the party on HIM as if he can control other people and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shi-daisy · 15 days

Note

Hi! Dropping in to say I read your TomJake fic and I loved it. It really feels like it could be canon compliant. As to how the season's going do you think you'll keep it as is or edit it? And are you still rooting for them or even Jake as a whole?

Aaaaa! Hi anon! So happy you liked my fic! It has gotten such a good reception and so much love I'm excited to write for the fandom again soon.

To answer your questions I do think I'll edit the fic a little if only to include Tatsu who wasn't named at the time I wrote it, and maybe change a bit of Tom's part as I wrote the fic thinking he was an orphan but apparently he has a mom so I'd have to tweak some stuff and include her, maybe change the song too as I found one more fitting for it.

Okay TomJake. Oh boy, to be honest I'm slowly losing hope but holding on by a thread. These two still seem to deeply care for eachtoher but they get on their own way more often than not and while I will root for them till the very end it wouldn't surprise me to see them fall apart too. But we keep the hope until the last scene!

Now as for Jake as a solo character, I am still rooting for him too. Episode 10 has the the fandom divided as to whether or not we should root for Jake or wish for him to be next boot. Personally I want him to grow and losing the only support he has left is likely the only way he's gonna learn.

Many say he will spiral and I'll be honest I could see him having a breakdown next episode. But I don't think he'll give up, my guess is that while he has no reason to get the money, he could try and win it for Ashley's sake. He's in a horrible position now as the villains are 5 against 4 heroes and the other 3 heroes gunned for him last time so I'd like to see him play solo at least one episode as he slowly reels from Ashley's boot and from the heroes who lets face it will unfairly pin this fail on him.

Yes I say unfairly because even if he was an emotional wreck that wanted to throw the vote, the other four also threw the vote and that caused the villains to win it.

Ally hates Jake because of him picking fights and being volatile and I agree with her assessment that actions speak louder than words and that Jake was wrong. However as annoying as he is you need his number to at least tie a vote. For the time being if I was her I would've faked niceness and tried to get along with him instead of fueling the fire. She didn't and took the fight personal too and voted Jake. Okay, what if he goes? It's four heroes against five villains, you're toast unless the villains fall apart and they target other stronger players. Jake is a meatshield and she should've just kept it chill like Ashley and that way he won't go off.

Same thing with Aiden. Dude knows Jake has it out for him because of the previous misunderstanding and because he's petty and volatile. Okay, don't poke the poodle then, don't fight him, don't provoke him. Come episode 9, he starts shit. Dude I get that on 8 Jake was an ass but I highly doubt you taunting him will stop him from trying to win, hell you taunting him is what got him to throw hands on episode 9. Don't poke the angry dude if you don't want him to go off, especially if he does not like you! Quiet and unnoticed got him far in season 2. If he had done so here too, maybe Jake wouldn't have been so down to fight. Same in episode 10. The shot was accidental and Jake should've just shrugged it off and kept his yapper shut, but then comes Aiden and goes 'Don't take it so personal'...My man, you just said that to the dude who already dislikes you and takes EVERYTHING personal! What did you think he was gonna do? Give you a hug? The vote too again was dumb 'It's him or us.' The only targets you have are Riya and Gabby, Tom and Ashley are stronger and if voted could've taken the villains in a tie breaker. Shut the hell up, and everyone vote a villain. They didn't and that's what got their second strongest to go off now. It's not just Jake's fault even if he bears the most fault. Everyone fucked up this episode and are now all on the chopping block.

Self indulgent wish fulfillment ahead while many say Jake will apologize next episode I don't want him to. I want him to be silent, solo, and seething. I want the others to try and pin it all on him only to be told what I just said and for Jake to tell them 'You want me out next? Fine, vote for me again, but I'm not going down without a fight! I owe her that much at least!' I want him to make it clear they all fucked up and they can't pin it all on him alone.

I want Tom to try and apologize for the vote only for Jake to not care, and even say 'I did the same to you last season. We're even.' Let my man seethe and work alone for a bit. Let him make Tom earn him back if he wants him because while I understand his reasoning for keeping away he still ghosted the man with attachment and trust issues for two whole years, avoided setting the record straight, lied to him (knowing his trauma around lying), and topped it all off with voting for him which resulted on his beastie being the one taken out. Jake has every right to pull the plug even if temporarily.

I wanna see him maybe bond with Grett if Yul is still being the worst. Boy would recognize the signs from what he went through with his own abusive ex and probably throw hands with Yul (id pay to see that). I wanna see him and Gabby talk too, Gabby explaining how she feels about Ellie being voted and wanting to support her and while Jake loathes her maybe he could provide perspective too. 'She did this to me for money in season 1, she was going down the same bad path again and you know it. If you love her, win for her and help her but getting out was necessary Gabby and you know it.' Imagine him getting those two out of the alliance, imagine him helping get Yul out or even just fool thewhole camp into thinking he's still a mess while in reality he is secretly plotting their downfall while playing the unstable wreck again. I'd be screaming to see both villains and heroes gagged if he played it right and got the villains out, if he maybe made it further than he did last time. I really want to see my boy shine and shine bright. So yes anon, I am rooting for Jake and hoping he at least gets one or two villains out if he does not win it all, and if he does then let him help support his beastie and make Miriam proud.

As for him and Tom we'll see if it can be saved. I'm hoping for the best but I'm also petty and if our himbo cop pulls one more stunt, I won't be sad should Jake choose to cut the cord for good.

Hope this answers your questions! Thanks for the fic support!

#ask #anon #disventure camp ask #disventure camp #dc jake #dc tom #dcas #tomjake

12 notes · View notes

fandoms--fluff · 9 months

Note

I wanted that events of the fic would take a place during season 2-3 where Caroline just become vampire, and Damon and Stefan's relationship were complicated. So, Stefan and Damon would get into a big argument. Stef leaves with hurt feelings. Elena and Caroline meets him in town and asks whats wrong. Stef is not in the mood, he snaps at them and says nothing. Then he leaves, gets ambushed and kidnapped.

Arguments

Stefan Salvatore x Damon Salvatore x Caroline Forbes

Warnings: kidnapping, mentions of blood, swearing I think

A/n: My inbox is flooded with requests, I am trying to get them all written and posted to the best of my abilities. So if you have recently requested something, don't worry, I haven't forgotten. They will get written as soon as I can!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stefan storms out of the boarding house after just having a fight with his older brother. He wipes away the glistening tears from his eyes.

This isn't how it used to be between him and Damon. When they were human, they had the best relationship. He could go to Damon about anything and his older brother would always be the one to comfort him and he knew he could rely on his big brother.

"Just think about it, everything that happened is your fault! Mother died because you were born, Katherine stayed and turned us into vampires because she saw you, you forced me to transition, and countless other things!" Damon yelled, which resulted in Stefan leaving.

All the guilt he has tried so hard to push away comes crashing back like a wave. He keeps his composure up, walks to the park in the square, and sits on one of the benches. He takes deep breaths, not wanting to have a breakdown in public.

Caroline calls Elena, telling her about the fight that had taken place and Stefan running off in the direction of town. She had been about to leave her car which was parked outside the house when her vamp hearing picked up the screaming voices and then saw Stefan leave in a hurry.

Caroline drives as quickly as she can to Elena's house, picking her up on the way deeper into the busier parts of town.

She parks by the grill, the sun setting and she and Elena jump out of the car.

After not even two minutes, they spot Stefan hunched over on a bench, leg moving up and down repeatedly.

"Stefan!" Elena calls out to the vampire.

"Oh, Elena, Caroline, hi" Stefan looks up, surprise evident on his face.

"Are you alright?" Caroline asks softly, sitting on the bench beside him. He looks over at her, confusion in his eyes. It takes Stefan a moment until he figures that she and Elena will find out about the fight and then tell him that Damon's right. It's the knowledgeable answer, considering he just got his humanity back and trying to get back into his old routine.

Not waiting another minute, Stefan gets up and quickly vamps away. He keeps running until he's out of town and just walking through the woods.

As he's passing massive trees and stepping on fallen leaves, he gets the feeling someone is following him.

He turns around, thinking it's Caroline. But he's wrong, the last thing he sees is a muscular, tall man before getting grabbed from behind and slammed against a tree repeatedly til he passes out.

Caroline and Elena sigh. "What do we do now?" Elena asks, worriedly.

"Let's just give him some space, I'll try talking to him tomorrow," Caroline says softly. Elena nods, knowing her best friend has good judgment.

They head to the grill to have dinner.

The first word that comes to Stefan's head is pain. It feels like his entire body is on fire. He opens his eyes, only to find he's trapped in a room with no windows, only a small vent, and a door with a handle that's most definitely locked.

Looking down, he sees where the pain is coming from. There are two small stakes in his hands, pinning them down to the chair's arms. Three stakes lodged into his stomach, but not too close to get his heart. And a stake in each of his thighs, by the feeling of it, they're all the way through and sticking out at the bottom of his thighs.

He lets out a small whimper of pain, hoping whoever took him couldn't hear.

The next thing he knew was someone who walked into the room, the key to the door, he assumed, in hand and a wicked smirk playing on his face.

This can't be good, Stefan thinks to himself.

It's been four days since Caroline and Elena saw Stefan in the park, and neither of them could reach him on the phone, and couldn't find him when they searched.

Caroline made the decision to go to Damon. If anyone knows where Stefan is, it's going to be him. Well, other than Katherine, but of course this is one of the only times she can be useful and she's not here.

Without knocking, she walks into the boarding house. She walks through the house til she finds the oldest Salvatore in the library, drinking bourbon.

"Ever heard of knocking, blondie?" Damon quips.

"Oh, please, you never lock the door anyways" Caroline rolls her eyes. "Anyways, I was wondering if you know where Stefan is, I haven't been able to reach him or find him for the last four days. The last time I saw him, he was on a bench in the park, and when I asked if he was okay, he just vamped away" she tells Damon.

Damon pauses his movement to bring his glass to his lips. His head tilts, and he puts his glass down, walking toward the baby vampire.

"That may have something to do with our argument that happened," Damon says, thinking about how he hasn't been at all worried about his brother, but he isn't going to show that in front of Caroline.

"I know, I heard you guys yelling before he stormed off after" Caroline crosses her arms.

"Well then, we should go start a search party," Damon says with a smirk, hiding the fact that he's extremely worried about his baby brother.

Caroline follows Damon out of the house and into his car. "He looks at her with an eyebrow raised. "What? You think I'm going to let you look for him by yourself" Caroline says.

Damon doesn't even try to fight with her on this, starting up the Camaro. He drives up, out of town. "Where are you taking us?" Caroline asks.

"Well, if you've already checked the entire town, I'm guessing you didn't go out of town?" Damon tells her. He stops the car two meters into the woods. Caroline sends another questioning look towards him.

Damon sighs, "When we were kids, and our father was drinking more than usual, I would bring Stefan into these woods, and to a cave that I found before he was born," Damon tells her, walking towards where the cave is.

"That's...really sweet of you" Caroline shocks herself by saying this.

Stefan tries his best not to cry out in pain, he's been stuck in this place for days, and the only person he's seen was a man who he still doesn't know who he is.

"I hope your brother comes to get you soon, it'll be real sad if he gets here too late and finds his baby brother dead," The man says from where he's standing in front of the teenager.

"H-how do you know my brother?" Stefan looks at him with tired eyes.

"We used to be good buds in the eighties" The man shrugs, obviously holding back information. Stefan grunts, knowing he won't be getting any more.

As Damon and Caroline near the cave, Damon stops suddenly. The movement making Caroline bump into him. "What-"

"Shhhh. Do you hear that" he whispers to the blonde.

Caroline focuses her hearing, picking up on two shallow voices. She nods her head. They turn right and start following the voices, both familiar to Damon, one his brother's and the other he just can't place.

"Oh, it seems we have company" the man whispers into Stefan's ear before taking the screwdriver in his hand and stabbing it into the teen's neck. The action causes Stefan to cry out before his eyes glaze over and he falls unconscious.

Damon and Caroline approach an old, beat down, abandon looking cabin. Just as they step up on the porch, the tall, bulky man appears in front of the two.

"Where's Stefan?" Caroline demands more than asks, fire in her eyes.

"He's not in the best shape" the man smirks, looking at Damon the entire time.

Recognition flickers in his eyes. "Jake" Damon says. "Long time, hasn't it, Damon. I've been waiting for the day to get my revenge on you, and I must say, it feels amazing. I mean you or your brother never even saw it coming, I wonder if he's okay? I'm guessing not" Jake tells, a sadistic smile on his face.

Before he can utter another word, his heart is found in Damon hand. Caroline goes into the run down cabin, he follows right after her. "So, how exactly did you know him" Caroline brakes the silence.

"We met in the eighties and blah, blah, blah, got into a battle let's say, and he wants revenge. And that's all you get to know" Damon answers her, obviously skipping on key details.

Caroline goes one way while Damon goes the other. She finds a passage leading down to a basement. She walks down the stairs and through the hall until she comes up to a door.

Looking through the small barred area of the door, she sees Stefan slumped forward in the chair.

"Oh my god, Stefan" she gasps. "Damon, get down here!" She yells as she goes into the dungeon, torture chamber room, as she likes to call it.

Damon vamps down to the basement. He freezes when he takes in his brother's appearance and what has been done to him. Quickly coming out of it, he races over, helping Caroline pull out the stakes jammed in his little brother.

Stefan's eyes start flickering open. He looks up at the two people pulling the stakes out of him. They're...saving him? His head starts to pound, quickly closing his eyes, he passes out.

"Come on, let's go," Damon tells Caroline. He picks his brother up in his arms. He's lighter than he expected.

Carrying Stefan to the Camaro reminds Damon of carrying him to bed or through the woods when he was little. He lays his little brother in the backseat.

He drives the three of them back into town, to the boarding house. During the drive, Stefan squirms around, feeling relief in his body after sitting in that chair for almost five days. Damon's eyes go to the blind spot mirror multiple times in the short drive, making sure his little brother's alright.

When they're back at the house, Damon carries his sleeping brother into the living room and lays him on the couch. Caroline sets a fire in the fireplace as he does so.

Damon stares down at his brother's relaxed face. His eyes wander down to a bright red vein on his brother's neck. Getting a closer look, he pulls down on the collar of his shirt, revealing a nasty bite. And by the looks of it, caused by a werewolf.

"I have a surprise for you today" Jake smiles toward Stefan.

Stefan looks behind the vampire, seeing the other man from the woods. His eyebrows knit in confusion. What's so special about a random man?

Before he could think of another question, the man came over to him. Fangs emerge from his gums and the next second, Stefan cries out in pain.

"There we go, a little spicing up" Jack chuckles. And in a second, the hybrid's head was on the ground, caused by Jack's hand slicing through his neck. "Can't have any loose ends, now can we?"

"Blondie," Damon says. Caroline walks over and gasps at the bite mark on Stefan's neck.

"Oh my god...what are we going to do, go to Klaus? Will he even listen or-" Caroline starts working herself up. "Calm down, I'll get this all sorted out. What I need you to do, is look after Stefan, got it?" Damon looks into her eyes.

She nods before he vamps out the door, heading to a certain Original's mansion.

Caroline sits down on the other couch, across from Stefan. She takes deep breaths, trying not to freak out.

As she's spaced off in her mind, Stefan starts twitching. He soon regains the motions to move and control his body. He opens his eyes, looking around the room he's in until his eyes land on the blond sitting across the coffee tables.

"What happened? How did I get here?" Stefan croaks out.

Caroline immediately snaps out of her thoughts. She faces the other vampire, a smile growing on her face. "You're awake! Damon and I brought you back here half an hour ago, Stef" she tells him softly.

Stefan moves to sit up, but whimpers as he does. A searing pain washes through his shoulder and across his chest and neck. Caroline vamps over beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Hey, take it easy. You've been tortured for almost a week and have a werewolf bite"

"I'm gonna die," Stefan says what he's thinking.

"No. No, you're not. Damon is out fixing this right now. We just have to wait until he gets back" Caroline says with a confident attitude. She won't let Stefan die on her watch, no way in hell.

Stefan slumps against his friend, exhausted. His head is lying against her shoulder. The fabric of the shirt she's wearing is nice and soft and feels good on his cheek.

Caroline wraps her other arm around Stefan, pulling him close in her arms. They sit there, cuddled up, as they wait for Damon to come back.

Twenty minutes later the door slams open and shut, ruining the peace and quiet.

Damon vamps into the room, a glass in hand, filled halfway with blood. Blood, she can only assume is Klaus'.

"Drink, Stef," he says in the most gentle voice Caroline has ever heard him use. He holds the glass up to the younger's lips and tilts it up.

Stefan drinks the blood until there's no more to come out. He sighs as he pulls away, feeling the pain of the bite vanish.

"You feeling better now?" Damon asks. Stefan nods his head, sitting up straighter.

Caroline unwraps her arms from him and stands, "I'll leave you guys to it" She smiles lightly before leaving the room quietly.

Stefan looks up at Damon, "How did you get Klaus to give you his blood?"

"That is something that I'll never reveal" Damon answers the younger vampire, and sits beside him.

"...I'm sorry I ruined everything" Stefan quietly says, looking down at his feet.

Damon stiffens before turning to face his brother. He places a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't mean that, you didn't ruin everything, Mom's death wasn't your fault, and I know you didn't want to be alone. I'm sorry I told you they were, Stef" Damon says softly.

Stefan looks up at him, tears in his eyes, "You mean it?"

"Of course I do. Come here" Damon pulls his baby brother into his arms, hugging him close to his chest. Stefan tightly hugs him back.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Damon asks his little brother. Stefan looks up at him, nodding "I love you too".

23 notes · View notes

amaya-chwan · 3 years

Text

Takeaways from Therapy Game Restart 14 + Illustration Book Release Date

Hello again everyone! ❤️💛💜

It's finally here... chapter 14! In all its glory! 😍🥰✨

Before we get to our takeaways, just some news I missed in the last post!

🎉 SENSEI'S ILLUSTRATION BOOK WILL BE RELEASED AROUND THURSDAY, 23RD SEPTEMBER! 🎉

Image taken from this Twitter post from Dear+!

It is titled "日ノ原巡イラスト集　DARLING" and boasts a collection of illustrations from Sensei's works so far: Secret XXX, Therapy Game, and Kamisama no Uroko.

The current price is ¥2970 with tax (¥2700 without tax). If you'd like to preorder it on your proxy shopping service, I've found it on the Comi Comi Studios website here! The bonus for purchasing it on this website is a B5 clear file~ I haven't seen it on Animate just yet, so fingers crossed it'll appear on their website soon with another (different) bonus! ❤️💛

Alright, with this amazing news done, let's move onto our takeaways, the long awaited takeaways! Thank you for being so patient with me! 💜

My short life update: currently in week 8 of lockdown and I haven't left my house in a long time other than for exercise or groceries. But I do have my vaccination appointment booked so YAY! 🎉

Here are our takeaways for this chapter:

Oh man, we pick right up from the last page of chapter 13. MINATO, BB, YOU LOOK SO PAINED! 😭

Sensei is the BIGGEST tease... that's all we got of that Minato and Shizuma scene...👀😭

The female staff at the veterinary hospital have really mellowed out! They're not bad, after all. ☺️

Oh dear, Nakajou-sensei, please get better ASAP!

Whoa... did Onodera just...?? I'm starting to think back to that Onodera discussion we had a couple of months ago... 🤔

Poor Shizuma, always roped into Onodera's workplace stuff! IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE GREAT PEOPLE SKILLS, SHIZUMA! PROUD OF YOU! 😍🙌

Man, Onodera has a really... blunt way of saying things to her human clients. Wow, brave. 😲

But I will say, Onodera really is good with animals. 🙌

Yet again, I think about that Onodera discussion we had... 🤔🤔

And that’s it for this chapter’s takeaways! For a more detailed breakdown/summary of this chapter, please continue after the cut! There may or may not be a surprise scene (or two) there. Please keep reading if you want to see~ 😉✨

Our chapter begins where we left off in chapter 13--Minato pinning Shizuma down on the bed. Shizuma looks up at Minato and reflects on his actions that caused the pained look he is seeing.

Image taken from this Dear+ Twitter post!

On the next page (title page), the dialogue reads: Shizuma wants to understand what it is about his director (Onodera) that is making Minato uneasy. // However, that beautiful liar hides it well...

(I believe we are taken back to the morning before Shizuma and Minato meet up for their date.)

The title page features Onodera walking back to the clinic, bread in hand, with a cat cozying up on her leg. We are then brought to the clinic's lunchroom, with the female staff and Shizuma on break. The roster in the room shows that Onodera is extremely busy, Nakajou-sensei has afternoon house call appointments, Tatsumi is Nakajou-sensei's support for these appointments, and Shizuma has a half day and finishes in the afternoon in lieu of working on his scheduled day off.

Shizuma asks his coworkers what presents they like from their partners and takes note of their answers. One of the female nurses asks if it's Minato's birthday. Shizuma confesses that their relationship has been affected by the various things happening lately, so he wants to get Minato a gift before seeing him later that day.

The nurses quickly pick up that the gift is a "tribute" of sorts as this line of work means a lot of missed appointments and dates, and Shizuma confirms their suspicions. While the nurses realise male-male relationships and male-female relationships aren't that different in this aspect, everyone in the lunchroom is alerted to someone shouting Nakajou-sensei's name.

Shizuma and a nurse see Tatsumi with Nakajou-sensei, who has collapsed on the floor. While the staff are concerned about Nakajou's well-being, she brushes it off as a dizzy spell. Before they can help her up, Onodera sweeps her off her feet and carries Nakajou to her (Onodera's) office. While Nakajou asks Onodera to put her down out of sheer embarrassment, Shizuma and Tatsumi are in shock, with Tatsumi commenting on Onodera's manliness in that moment. One of the other nurses gently smacks Shizuma's shoulder and tells the two to grab a blanket and a drink for Nakajou.

In her office, Onodera asks Nakajou why she's been overworking herself to the point of collapsing. The nurse (who gave the gentle smack) very obviously hints to Onodera that it is her fault. As Nakajou calms the nurse by saying that's just how the director is, Tatsumi asks Nakajou about their afternoon appointments. She says she'll be fine to go after a little rest, but the nurse says she mustn't overexert herself.

After a few back and forths about who should go and the clients' needs/personality (picky about the vet, had a pet that doesn't like men, etc), Onodera says she will go. The nurses are shocked and reminisce about all the issues they've had when Onodera interacts with the owners. Tatsumi and Shizuma stand there, and can very clearly imagine those situations happening.

While Onodera rearranges and informs the nurses of the shift changes to accommodate Nakajou-sensei, Shizuma has a terrible premonition that unfortunately comes true: he is appointed as Onodera's support for the afternoon house calls.

Wearing a sulky expression, Shizuma packs the necessary equipment in Onodera's car and reminds her that he has a very important engagement that night that he cannot miss, and as such will leave immediately after the house call appointments are done. Onodera bursts his bubble, and tells him to give up on those plans while he can since this is the line of work he's chosen.

As Shizuma reads the client files, he questions Onodera on why he is her support when he's never attended to these clients before. While Onodera tells him that good coordination is important with a physician's support and that he's the only one she can rely on to give her an honest opinion and calm the clients, Shizuma realises that he's basically the mediator between her and the owners. She confirms that this is his strong point, has great expectations for him, and proceeds to drive. Shizuma then reads the patient files at lightning speed, realising there's a threatening 'something' that Minato has sensed, but that's just how the director is. He then vows to make it to their meeting tonight, no matter what.

The first three house calls, as expected, involve Onodera insulting and angering the owners--Onodera tells the first client that his insistence on seeing Nakajou rather than a 'young' director is having a negative effect on his pet who needs immediate medical care; Onodera offends the second client, inferring from their conversation that her pet's appearance is more important than the need to shave their fur and get an ultrasound done; Onodera accuses the third client of being irresponsible in caring for his exotic animals and asks for more effort on his part. In all three scenarios, Shizuma awkwardly smiles while trying to ease the tension.

The scene skips to Onodera and Shizuma arriving at their fourth and final house call for the day. Just as Onodera explains to Shizuma that she must check a whole host of things at house calls (and indirectly be too blunt about it with the owners), Shizuma asks her to consider the owner's feelings and change when and how she says things. She glares ahead in silence, and Shizuma is just glad that she is now aware of it. He again reminds her to talk with the owner nicely and gently as he probably won't be able to help with the next client as their pet dislikes men. Onodera tells him to just sit in the corner and witness the client become furious while he doesn't help, making him feel slightly guilty for saying that. He is now adament on not helping her.

They reach the owner's home and we meet an elderly woman named Shiratori and her 9-year-old male cat, Tono. Shiratori apologises to Shizuma as her cat doesn't like men. Tono hisses at them as Onodera opens his cage, but is then coaxed into submission by Onodera who covers his vision with a towel and takes him into her lap to calm down. Shiratori and Shizuma are surprised at his sudden docile nature, with Shizuma witnessing how well she deals with animals.

As Shizuma looks on at Onodera while she completes a check on Tono, he sees she is crumbling at the friendliness and talkative nature of Shiratori, who sings nothing but praise for Onodera and how her family must be proud to have such an amazing daughter. Aiming to ease her troubles and remembering the earlier guilt-trip she gave him, he redirects Shiratori's attention to her broken fly screen and offers to fix that plus everything else that needs repair in her home.

Onodera watches as the two leave the room for a bit before apologising to Tono for ignoring him. Tono looks on at Onodera happily while she asks him how he can live with such a lively human and to tell her his secret to this. She brings him into her arms once more to check his limbs, and as Tono looks up smiling at Onodera, Onodera sees her reflection in Tono's eyes, and both seem to realise something.

BG Text: Stare...

Suddenly, Shizuma and Shiratori, who are busy fixing the window, hear a loud crash and rush into the room to find Tono atop the cabinet and Onodera on the floor, with her hair in disarray. In the next panel, Tono is shown to be hiding in the bookshelf, looking on irritatingly at the humans. Shiratori apologises to Onodera, who shakes it off and says it's nothing to worry about and no harm's been done.

Shiratori asks if Onodera will fix/tie her hair up again, but when Onodera says her hair tie was broken when Tono used her as a launchpad to get on the cabinet, Shiratori runs to get her a new one. As Shiratori gushes over the 3 piece dopey looking character hair tie set she received as a present from her grandchild (and lets Onodera pick one), a greatly displeased look is plastered on Onodera's face. Shizuma, in shock, notices her displeasure and hopes she just thanks Shiratori for it. And Onodera does, bringing a great big smile to Shiratori's face.

As Onodera and Shizuma leave, Shiratori says she's glad to have talked with Onodera and invites her to come over again. As she says this, we see Onodera looking back with a blank look in her eyes.

And that’s it for this chapter! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR! 💜 While I was surprised at the lack of Minato in this chapter (Sensei legit is such a tease, LOL 🤣), I'm happy we can learn more about Onodera. Ngl, I'm starting to really question if Onodera is male or female now, given what transpired in this chapter. I guess we shall see in the next one!

I also changed the formatting a bit and removed the bullet points. Please let me know which format is better/easier to read! Ahah!

EDIT: Spelling and grammar checks are done! Didn't change a lot, but hope it reads better! 💜

📢 As always, please support Hinohara-sensei by purchasing her books and CDs! 📢

And please also refrain from resharing these translations and images outside of this post! Thank you for understanding! ❤️💛

There won't be a chapter in next month's (September release) Dear+, so I shall see you in two months for the next chapter (Dear+ November Issue, to be released in October).

As always, stay safe during these turbulent times and look out for each other and for your loved ones! 💜❤️💛

97 notes · View notes

ravennm84 · 4 years

Text

Serafina II

Part 1 Part 3

The 2nd installment of the “Marinette’s Haunted Doll” series. I was seriously shocked by how much response I got from part one, so I hope this lives up to your expectations. Blood, gore, and death are coming, along with some mental freak-outs. You have been warned.

Part II

Despite wanting to stay with Marinette to comfort the girl after the tearful apologies by Mylene and Ivan, Serafina couldn’t return until her work was finished. There was still much to do and people to punish.

She arrived early with Mylene, which allowed her to observe the others that entered the classroom. Kim had returned to school that day in a wheelchair. The cast on his leg went up to his waist and the one on his arm went up to his bicep. His face and exposed skin were covered in bruises and his right eye looked like it had blood in it.

“How are you feeling, dude?” Nino asked him as he entered alongside Adrien.

“Really sore,” the boy admitted. “Doctors had to reset my leg at the knee and said that my arm was a three piece offset fracture, so they had to use screws to put it back in place. Other than that; had a concussion, a lot of bruises, and a couple cuts; but no internal bleeding or ruptured organs. They said after a few months and some physical therapy, I should be as good as new.”

Nino gave him a solemn nod. “Glad to hear you’re going to be okay, dude.”

Kim’s expression dropped a bit. “I heard about Alya, I’m really sorry, man.”

The boy lowered his head while Adrien patted his back. “I really… I can’t believe she’s gone because of some freak accident. It makes no sense!” Nino jumped to his feet and started pacing as more students filed in. “I mean, she wasn’t supposed to die like that! Getting caught up in an akuma battle, childhood disease, there would be a reason for that! But that was just pointless!”

Mme. Bustier did attempt to calm him down, but her kind words fell on deaf ears before he grabbed his bag and left the room. No one could blame him, and only Adrien followed to make sure he would be alright, and to make sure he wasn’t akumatized.

Lila came in not long after with a curious bag in her hands. Serafina watched the liar as she looked around the room. She had a feeling that the liar would try something after her last attempt to frame Marinette had failed. When the girl tried speaking to Mylene, the doll was proud to see the girl refuse to acknowledge her as she continued to speak with Rose and Juleka. When it was clear that she was being ignored, she tried speaking to Ivan, only for him to give her a harsh glare that had her shuffling backwards. With Max and Alix still at the hospital and Adrien not in the room, that left her with Sabrina. The redhead had been sitting alone at the front of the room since Chloe had transferred schools after the Miracle Queen incident.

“Hi Sabrina, how are you doing?”

The girl smiled up at the italian, glad to still have a friend. “I’m doing okay, at least a lot better than a lot of our class. I heard Max lost sight in his one eye from the chemicals and Alix might have to have cosmetic surgery to get her face back to normal. At least Kim might be back to normal in a few months after going through physical therapy. But Alya…”

Lila faked her tears at the mention of her lost follower. She was really more annoyed than sad, Alya was easily manipulated, went along with everything she said, and Lila had been able to use her blog to build up her popularity. And the girl had been a decent attack dog, just point her at someone and off she went. Now that she was dead, maybe she could turn Sabrina into her new lead follower, she was already partially trained and it wasn’t like the blonde bitch was around anymore.

“I know, it’s so terrible. She was my first friend when I moved here, it’ll be so hard without her,” she faked a few more tears. And just like that, Sabrina took her hand in comfort and said a bunch of soothing words while she continued to fake cry.

After a moment, Lila placed the bag she’d been holding on the desk and pushed it away from her, making sure the action caught Sabrina’s attention. “What’s that?”

Lila fake sobbed even harder, hiding her face in her hands. “Ma-Marinette, she-she said it was m-my fault that Alya’s dead. She practically threw that bag at me and said to use it,” she said before breaking down in more fake sobs.

Carefully opening the bag, she gasped when she saw it was full of razor blades and a couple of kitchen knives. Sure, she knew that Marinette didn’t get along with Lila, but to actually give this to her and tell her to ‘use it’? How could she be so cruel?

Serafina scowled as the red head hugged the liar and promised her that she would take care of it. Her anger erupted as Sabrina stood from her desk with the bag in hand, and began walking towards Mme. Bustier’s desk. The girl didn't take two steps before tripping over nothing and falling onto her side. Luckily, she did not land on the bag. Unluckily, she gripped it too tight and the impact forced the knives and razors through the bag and deep into her hands.

The girl screamed and cried as blood rushed out of the wounds and down into her sleeves. She begged Lila to help her, but the italian backed away from the girl in shock. Mme. Bustier gripped her head between her hands and began saying “not again, not again” before running out of the room. The only ones that helped her were Juleka, Rose and Ivan; the smaller girl sprinting off to alert the nurse and the principal, while Juleka and Ivan got Sabrina to her feet. Ivan kept the girl upright and moving out the door while Juleka held the girl’s hands above the level of her heart to keep her from bleeding too much.

Those left in the classroom were in shock as they stared at either the door or at the blood staining the floor. No one said anything for a long time, not even Lila. She hadn’t thought anyone would get hurt. She just thought she would get Marinette suspended and everyone would be on her side again. Adrien returned before the others, completely shocked when he saw the blood and Kim explained to him what had happened. The blonde sent a scathing look at Lila but said nothing.

It was a while later before Rose, Ivan, and Juleka returned to class, along with M. Rupere. He informed them that their classes were cancelled for today. “After everything that has occurred this week, I’ve decided that all of you will be meeting with the counselor today. He will decide if more sessions are necessary and for who, but his door and mine are open if you need to talk. M. Deveraux will come to speak with you one at a time. Kim Le Chien, he had requested to speak with you first. Mlle. Rossi,” he looked sternly at the girl, “would you please follow me, we need to talk about the incident with Sabrina Raincomprix.”

Serafina smiled as the liar trudged out of the room after the man. She was satisfied with Sabrina’s punishment and doubted if Mme. Bustier would last another day before having a total mental breakdown. She also knew that Lila would be in even more trouble after M. Rupere looked into the girl a bit more. But just to make sure, Serafina touched her on the way out. To most people, that would do nothing; but to someone like Lila, it would cause her to become more and more unhinged until she did something drastic. Very soon, Lila would be out of the picture and those deserving of punishment will have paid their debts.

~oOo~

It was more difficult sneaking home with Adrien than she had expected, especially with the tiny god of Chaos and Destruction in his bag. Plagg was his name, and he was very defensive of his kitten and had threatened to cataclysm her. Serafina told him that she would not purposefully harm his ‘kitten’, but there was something she had to take care of at the Agreste Mansion. The doll had long suspected that Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth and she was going to find out tonight if it was true. Plagg was reluctant to agree since it would hurt Adrien; but if it was true, they had to put an end to it.

After arriving at the mansion, Plagg easily convinced the boy to sneak out and check on Nino. After he left, Serafina sensed something on Adrien’s desk. Being an enchanted/haunted object, she could sense other objects like herself… such as Miraculous jewels. And right there on the desk was a pin shaped like a peacock, one of the jewels that had been missing and used by Mayura. If there had been any doubts before about who had been terrorizing Marinette, they were gone.

Tucking the pin into her small outfit, she began to search the building, starting with Gabriel’s office. She had expected the man to be present, but he was missing. And given that Hawkmoth was a very active user, she had no doubt that he kept his jewel on him at all times. So, she waited.

It was about an hour later that Gabriel Agrest entered the room, and not from the door Serafina had expected. The man had a secret entry in the floor in front of a portrait of a woman. He was muttering on knowing better than to use Bubbler again, but that the negative emotions had been too strong to ignore. She also saw the purple kwami hovering over his shoulder, but the creature stopped when it sensed her. Gabriel strode out of the room, barely noticing that Nooroo had stayed behind and flew over to the doll hiding behind the desk.

“What are you doing here? If the Master finds you, he will destroy you.” The kwami said with worry.

The doll conveyed that she knew that his master was Hawkmoth, just as her human was Ladybug. She was here to protect her and return the butterfly and peacock miraculous to their rightful place. Also knowing that Gabriel had become too corrupted for his miraculous.

“I’ve tried to tell him that the wish would be dangerous,” Nooroo told her with downcast eyes. “He wants to make a wish to revive his wife, but he doesn’t realize that the cost would be to put Adrien, someone he loves equally as much as Emilie, into the same state of death. She isn’t even truly alive anymore, her body only lives because of the machine she is in.”

An idea spawned in Serafina’s thoughts and she barely kept herself from smiling. She asked Nooroo to help her activate the secret passage so she could get to his wife, but the little kwami shook his head. “Even if I could get you down there, the motion sensors would trip and he would attack you.”

Smiling this time, Serafina promised the little god that Gabriel would not attack her. That she would make sure that Adrien would be safe and the two kwami’s would go to their rightful place. All he had to do was help her open the door. Although reluctant and slightly scared, the little god opened the door, hoping that the nightmare would finally end.

Down in the lair, the doll saw the mechanical coffin placed in the center of the room and went to it. The motion sensors caught her quickly, but she had been planning on moving fast anyway. Opening the coffin, she settled herself into the woman’s arms. Nooroo had been right, Serafina could sense that the woman’s soul had departed from her body a while ago and it was only the machine that was keeping her body alive. With no other soul to contend with, this would make what she was about to do next all the easier.

Nathalie had called to alert him the moment the alarms went off in the lair while she and Simone were out on an errand. He was moving faster than he could remember with Nooroo following close behind. Gabriel transformed on the way down, prepared to attack whoever had stumbled in, but his breath caught in his throat halfway down when he got a good view of the room.

The coffin was empty.

Rushing forward, he began frantically searching the room for his wife, calling her name. He turned to rush back upstairs and froze. Standing behind him, looking dazed, was his wife. Her eyes were unfocused and her arms were hugging her middle, but it was her. Dropping his transformation, Gabriel cautiously approached her and she flinched back from him. It took a few minutes and a lot of gentle coaxing before he was able to wrap an arm around her shoulders and lead her to the elevator. When they got to his office, he watched her carefully as she began walking around the room. He wanted her to sit down and rest, but he was still in shock that she was awake and standing in front of him.

Eventually, her green eyes met his. “Where’s Adrien?”

“I… I don’t know, he should be up in his room.”

Emilie’s head tilted slightly, her eyes searching his. “What have you done? Did you make the wish?”

“No, my love. I was going to when I got the jewels, but Ladybug and Chat Noir evaded me.”

Tears grew in her eyes as she continued to stare at him. “You tried to make the wish? Knowing that it would have cost our son’s life?”

Gabriel froze. He hadn’t known that wishing Emilie to come back would cost Adrien’s… but Nooroo had tried to tell him. He remembered the kwami trying to tell him about the cost and he had forced him to not speak. “I’m sorry, Emilie. I didn’t-”

“You knew,” she interrupted, her voice lacking any emotion as she continued to stare at him. “You knew from the beginning that what you were doing was wrong, evil. You chose to ignore what it would cost.”

“Emilie, my love, please don’t say such things,” Gabriel begged as he rushed forward to wrap his arms around her. “All I have wanted since the day I lost you, was to hold you in my arms again and hear your voice. I was lost without you and was willing to go to the ends of the earth to bring you back. Is that so wrong?”

He had just barely met her eyes when he felt the twin pains in his arms. Jumping back, he looked down to see both wrists had been cut deeply with a pair of his fabric cutting scissors. Blood was draining from the wounds at an alarming rate. His hands were shaking and he was already feeling light headed as he grabbed a handful for fabric from his work table in an attempt to slow the blood. He wanted to call out for help, but they were alone.

His eyes grew hazed as he looked to Emilie, surprised that she was staring at him with such contempt. “I know what you’ve been doing while I was in that coffin. Tormenting the city and people I love, isolating our son and treating him like a burden. If you had ever succeeded in getting the Cat and Ladybug miraculous, it would have destroyed Paris. But you didn’t care. As you said, all you cared about was hearing my voice and holding me in your arms. Congratulations, your wish came true, and you will be the one to pay the price. Not Adrien.”

His legs gave out from under him as the fabrics dripped from the excess blood. He couldn’t understand how this had happened, Emilie would have never done something like this… but was this really her? With his vision fading, he took a hard look at his wife, only now noticing the dullness of her eyes, the greying pallor of her skin, and the fact that she only seemed to breathe when she spoke… “Who are you?”

Her head tilted again, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly. “Serafina. Quite astute of you to figure that out in your state. Your wife’s soul passed on a long time ago, all you have been doing is preserving a corpse. And I was telling the truth; even if you had made the wish, it would have cost Adrien his life.” Her hand shot forward, removing the butterfly miraculous before he could stop her. “Your actions have hurt someone close to me and I could no longer stand back and allow it to happen.”

She stood, walking to his desk to pull out a piece of paper and writing something down before neatly folding it and leaving it on his desk.

“Wh… What…”

“You just wrote a letter to Adrien; admitting what happened to his mother, that you were Hawkmoth, and the reason why you did what you did.” She said calmly before looking back at him. “Whether he tells the rest of the world is up to him. As for the miraculous, I will give him a chance at redemption. Though if he should fail, you may be seeing him sooner rather than later. Either way, they will soon be back where they belong, with the guardian. And you, good sir, have just committed suicide after bringing your wife’s body upstairs, so you would be able to hold her in your arms as you died.”

Unable to sit upright anymore, Gabriel barely felt his body collapse to the floor. He was hardly aware of Emilie lifting one of his arms to tuck her body to his side. The last thing he was aware of was something that he swore would haunt him in the afterlife; a porcelain doll emerging from the folds of her clothes and standing beside them. It stood there on its own, watching him until he could no longer keep his eyes open and he took his final breath.

Taglist (even longer):

@themagicmistic @andromeda612 @ramos123 @t1dwarrior-of-earth @justanotherweirdo277 @irisfox @thestrangestofthemall @plz-excuse-my-inner-ravenclaw @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @the-fandom-girl @wisecolorthing @mewwitch @luxurioushellgirl97 @seraphichana @fantasiame @whydoexamsexist @wispyrainbow @legodetectivemalsblog @kindasoundslikealien @shadowangelreborn @kazedancer @unmaskedagain @7-sage-7 @irontimetravelflower @ghostmaster83 @izang @ulmban @plushbookworm @corabeth11 @darkened-flame @caffeinetheory @iamablinkmarvelarmy @raiderofthelostbooks @cheshire5210 @chocolateherringtacofan @city-of-all-tunas @aadnrsstar @kitten12113 @interobanginyourmom @pandacatxd @nerd-nowandforever @jesussavedevenme @zoiechance @the-smallest-kittenz @wonderbat91939 @maskedpainter @tazer6787 @that-girl-sakea @seesea22 @with-forward-motion @ola-is-dead @thecrazyfantrollshasmoved @bayball @2confused-2doanything @queen-in-a-flower-crown @sabrina1414 @ceres-zephyr @if-you-give-a-chat-a-cookie @zalladane @tails-and-scales @rumbelle18 @sam-spectra @collegefae @pale-lady-dreamer @animegirlweeb @evaraux @consumeconstantly @iz-bell-saiah @puspa-san @wishing-to-be-a-fictional-chara @sassakitty @miraculous-ninja @fandom-trapped-03 @idontfuking @sillyfishrubberducky @anonymousreviewer-t @i-am-fallen-angel @zotinha456 @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @chocolatecatstheron @crypticsabbat @startouchedqueen1318 @para-dox-normal @marinettepotterandplagg @incredulous-reader @professionalfangirl1738 @fangirlnerd001 @redscarlet95 @sixtyeightdays @iamtotalfandomtrash @tazanna-blythe @animehime94 @mysticsoulgirl @miraculouspenta @local-witch-of-mn @roseinbloom02 @senpaiweird @iggy-of-fans @tropestropestropes @sleep-deprived-aroace @comteqfr @neromerp13 @prudencerika @galaxylightmoon @c-s-stars @spartanxhunterx @shadowhex99 @abrx2002 @lunartaravlar @theymakeupfairies @myazael @wannajointhecrabcult @some-weird-multifandom-girl @marvel--unsolved @kuroko26 @mcheang @nach0ava @syrencall @mexicantttt @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @enchanted-nerd @actual-disaster-human @mashmallow619 @clumsy-owl-4178 @hollowwisteria @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl @fandom-trapped-03 @lunataravlar @lady-phoenix-of-tardis @tishwinchesterannabethjackson @mariposa-macaroon @starlightshield @255940g

#lila salt #lila gets exposed #lila karma #Marinette deserves better #gabrielagreste #hawkmoth #bustier salt #class salt

1K notes · View notes

janewatson · 3 years

Text

Helluva Boss Trailer Analysis!

Yes, I watch this. Yes, I like it. No, I won’t argue with you about it.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s just say that I was up when the trailer dropped, and was still up for a bit after. I’ve watched it so many times now, just absorbing everything, and now it’s time to break it down.

I’ve seen a few breakdowns already, but I noticed that there were a few things people hadn’t mentioned. So I’m tossing my hat in the ring, let’s see if we can figure out what Vivziepop has in store for us!

I’ll be breaking down by scene, as well as go over voiceovers and predictions real quick, so prepare for a read after the cut!

Ok, first, had to laugh at Millie’s Peppermint Vodka Molotov Cocktail. Creative, but what a waste of vodka :( The background is of a beach, but she’s not in beach clothes (let’s face it, a bikini would probably kill Moxxie)

Moxxie is shooting at something while he’s swinging from a rope in a deserted theater. Piano on the floor, and a sun pattern on the back wall

Blitzø (thanks for the copy/paste, Google) cleaving a blonde in half with a baseball bat. Damn, he stronk!

Diss Summar’, with the little doodles! So cute :3

Drunk/drugged/in shock Moxxie, poor Millie, and something big bursting out from the water behind. Tied to first scene?

Stolas’ ‘Special Access’ bit from the Sneak Peeks, talking about the Harvest Moon festival in Wrath

Moxxie and Blitzø in a green lit room, looks like a two-way mirror on the wall. Interrogation?

Correction to ‘Diss Season’ XD Hopefully that means we’ll get an episode before spring, but if they need more time, that’s understandable

Glammed up Stolas at some kind of burlesque, owned by Asmodeus ‘Ozzie’, Prince of Hell’s Lust circle. Wonder why he’s there...

CHERUBS!!! Also from the Sneak Peeks, we know that this is a commercial, and that the TV showing said commercial gets blown up a few seconds later

Angry Blitzø, probably yelling at Moxxie, being scared shitless by a hellhound behind him. I think this is a repo/impound/chop-shop guy who took IMP’s van, as in a later scene, they’re shown in a fence with other cars, especially because Blitzø yells ‘RUN’ at the end of the scene

Loona and Blitzø filming someone’s misery (again, probably Moxxie). They’re in western outfits, but they’re probably still in Hell

Tentacle wrapping around drugged Moxxie and taking him, too fast for Millie to react and stop it. Again, looks like it’s tied to the first and fifth scenes

Sassy Blitzø, probably talking to the repo-hellhound or punching-bag Moxxie. Same setting as scene 11

Blitzø running to the window of what looks like a recording studio, with ‘VM’ spray painted on the doors next to him. He looks distraught, but it’s not clear why

Recently choked-out Moxxie recovering, while being frame by a spiny-tailed Imp wearing what I assume is a serape, since it looks like they’re on the ranch Loona and Blitzø cheered a poor soul, scene 12

DEPRESSED BIRD DADDY. WHY ARE YOU SAD??? IS IT GONNA MAKE ME SAD??? OH NO I’M NOT READY unless its a flashback, but stilllll

Perturbed Blitzø holding his special flintlock in a western-themed room. Looks like he has his outfit from scene 12 on, probably the same episode, but whatever happened/is going to happen, it’s not good

Dressed-up Moxxie, who probably jumped bombed a performance, is upstaged by Robo Fizz and most likely a Robo Ozzie, given the designs on its’ head(s). He looked uneasy even before the Robos popped up, so something else was going on first.

Scaley eye blinking and getting MAD, attached to the tentacle that kidnapped Moxxie?

50% off add for Spring Break victims, complete with coffee stain, and Blitzø‘s horse doodles. I got a mental image of Moxxie scolding Blitzø for drawing at work, so he BS’d it into an ad.

Either Blitzø is a terrible driver, or they’re trying to speed away from someone. Repo-hound, maybe?

HUMAN!!! Almost definitely a human pop-star singing on a Coachella-esque stage! I tried to fill in her name, but could only get ideas of what some letters were. Her initials are most likely VM, from the recording studio scene, but the bottoms of some letters could be an E or L, K or R, so we’re left with V~(L/E)(K/R)OSI(K/R)A MA~~. It also looks like she’s wearing heels, so she may be the person who threw Blitzø in a later scene

Moxxie about to be trampled by what can only be a horse, given his outfit. Loona and Blitzø are probably filming XD

Shocked Stolas, standing up at table. Same outfit as the burlesque, but he doesn’t looked surprised enough that it’s the part where Moxxie is upstaged, more something emotionally jarring. Blitzø kissing someone else, maybe?

Blitzø pushing Moxxie out of the way and pinning him just outside a Hell portal in an alley, most likely Earth. Blitzø looks mad, and rightly so, as he’s looking a little beat up himself. Connected to the interrogation scene?

Happy Blitzø turns horrified outside some elevators with Moxxie. Judging by the water cooler in the back, I think he’s about to slam into the recording studio. Behind him, Moxxie gives no shits

Blitzø looking miffed, maybe at something Moxxie said. Looks like the same scene with the repo-hound, as the setting itself looks like an impound lot, with the IMP van smack-dab in the middle of it. I love that the license plate is IMP-666 though

Unhappy Blitzø (ok, let’s be honest, when IS he happy?)

Moxxie swinging Millie around in the deserted theater, passionately frenching each other

Blitzø getting pushed down by a horned, high-heeled... someone. Again, might be the pop star from earlier, but there’s horns... Maybe the pop star is human-passing, and has an alternate demonic form, like the Hazbin Hotel cast?

Western-clad Blitzø pulling his flintlock on someone, most likely before scene 18. Most definitely Hell, judging by the poster and previous scenes, but I’m digging the décor

Blitzø not getting a break at all during this trailer and being yeeted into a dumpster, which closes on him. Gonna take a stab and say it’s outside the burlesque Stolas and Moxxie were in, from the colors and posters of Lust Ring, Personal Companion Robo-Fizz, and Angel Dust.

The next scene is of him climbing out of a dumpster to fall into another pile of trash. He just doesn’t get a break, does he? It doesn’t look like the dumpster outside the burlesque, but it is similar to the alley with the hell portal, where Blitzø pinned Moxxie. Maybe not the same scene, but most likely same episode.

Editor being absolutely plastered, teasing all the fun stuff to come in 2021, since 2020 can go f*ck itself.

And that’s a really in-depth breakdown of all the scenes in the trailer! Now, for the voiceovers.

First, Loona’s asking if anyone ‘Can feel that?’. Interesting thing to ask, so we’ll have to wait and see what catastrophe happens

Millie gently yelling at Moxxie to ‘DON’T PANIC’

A calm voice announcing an elevator’s departure to the Lust circle of Hell, which is most likely where the burlesque and Robo scenes are. As to who is going, it’s either Stolas or the IMP crew, or maybe both?

Horny Stolas cooing ‘Oh, Blitzy!’, followed by Loona’s ‘SHUT THE F*CK UP’ from the Loo Loo Land episode. Finally, I have a high-res clip I can set as my ringtone!

Blitzø yelling ‘Dammit, Moxxie, this is all your fault!’, which may or may not be true since he scapegoats Moxxie, who replies ‘How is this my fault???’

Pop star asking, ‘Y’all ready to get f*cked up and make some b*tchin’ bad choices?’. It’s most likely her talking, since the her lips synch up with her scene, and it’s a new voice we haven’t heard before.

Moxxie’s cut off ‘M*THERF*CKER!!!’. So happy I get to hear Invader Zim go off, poor boy needs it XD

Blitzø being Blitzø and trying to tone down a big deal, stating again that he doesn’t pry into their personal lives, even though he obvious does (see Helluva Boss Pilot for more)

Robo Fizz’s line from Loo Loo Land asking if anybody loved Blitzø. I’m gonna be honest and say that line choked me up in Loo Loo Land, and so did Blitzø’s response, until ‘But I’m really good with guns now. DANCE, B*TCH!’

Moxxie ending with ‘That is deeply unsettling’, again from Loo Loo Land. Throwing shade on Helluva Boss haters, maybe? :3

All right, now, predictions!

Chaos in a theater, with focus maybe on Millie and Moxxie’s relationship, maybe an origin story? It won’t be the only one, with the tentacle beach monster and drugged Moxxie bits, so we can expect a lot of story and character development from the two of them.

Farm episode! Blitzø either drags them onto a farm, or there’s a client who invites them, but sh*t will happen.

Really excited to see what happens in the Lust ring, and for the return of Robo Fizz! Baby boy only got a few minutes of screen time, but is currently my favorite character.

Repo episode of rescuing the IMP van, probably resulting in overall team building and character development. I really want to see Loona tear a new one into that *sshole-looking hellhound, though.

Pop star episode! Really excited to meet this new character, I wonder what her name is and how close I was XD Either Blitzø and Moxxie break into her recording studio to meet her, or she’s a client, but we’ll see!

Trapped on Earth/Run in with Earth authorities episode? That interrogation room didn’t exactly look Hellish, and they obvious meet some kind of resistance while on Earth that looked like it was gonna get messy...

Stolas episode! Please please please be flashback and story, I loved Loo Loo Land but really want some more lore and development on his character and maybe relationship with Blitzø. Bird obviously needs to work through some things, and I really want to watch him grow, ever since I saw him struggle to tell Octavia why he was cheating. Him stuttering and ultimately being unable to find a reason why really hit home, and I’m glad it was something they included since in media, it’s always ‘Well, she’s really ugly’ or ‘I don’t love him anymore’. He still has feelings for his wife, but wanted to f*ck Blitzø too.

Even without the trailer, we do know that we’re getting episodes focusing on CHERUB and a Harvest Moon festival, but still. There’s so much content Vivzie and Co have been working hard to make, and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for us. Dark comedy aside, there’s so much story they can make just around these four characters, following their growth and happenings around Hell. It’s such a cool premise and one that hasn’t been washed and worn so many times, like cop or murder shows, and I can see this going on for quite a bit.

Well, here’s to an exciting 2021! Thank you for all your hard work, Vivizepop, keep it up!

#helluva boss #season 1 trailer #blitzø #moxxie #millie #loona #stolas #helluvaboss #vivziepop #hazbin hotel

51 notes · View notes

eurosong · 3 years

Text

Undo my ESC 2021 - Semi-final 1

Good afternoon, folks! Every year, I take a look at each semi-final and share what feasible change I would make – as small as changing a few lines of the song or an element of staging, or as big as a different song completely winning a national final – to make it even better (just in my own opinion of course!) This year will be harder than usual, but I’ll try to set aside my conviction that every 2020 artist should have been able to return to see how different SF1 might look. Let’s go!

🇱🇹 Lithuania: PiN was in the Roop's hands, and whilst I fell in love with some of the underdog songs they were up again, most notably Home and Never fall for you again I wouldn't take away the chance away from the Roop. There's nothing I'd change about Discoteque, and I love their nod to On fire, but the way that they also took things in a different direction to last time.

🇸🇮 Slovenia: I may be in a small minority, but I absolutely love Amen and I loved Voda too! Ana Soklič has so much presence and stunning vocals with so much texture and depth; she can sell me pretty much everything. My only change would be to insert Slovenian language lyrics!

🇷🇺 Russia: I was initially really disappointed that we wouldn't see the iconic Little Big on the ESC stage - but I commend the way they wanted to share the limelight with other artists. The unexpected Russian mini-NF ended up being a revelation and very diverse for its size. I liked all three songs, but I think that the best hands down won. There is nothing I have to change to Russian woman, one of the most powerful propositions of the season for me. I just hope juries will value it and we won't see a Telemóveis style situation!

🇸🇪 Sweden: After a year of being happy with the result in Sweden - I was always in Dotter's corner, but who can't love the Mamas? - we return to more familiar terrain of an MF result disgruntling me. Tusse has charisma and talent, but his song is lacklustre at best for me. My fav was, once again, Dotter, and I wish that either she'd taken the win or that the Mamas got their shot at ESC as main artists.

🇦🇺 Australia: I really enjoy Technicolour, one of the more out-of-left-field entries from Oz. I am so intrigued as to what the Diane Warren song offered to Montaigne was like, as I'm certain that this isn't it, but I'm glad she trusted her gut and went for something so distinctive. My one change would be to get rid of the unnecessary key change at the end.

🇲🇰 Macedonia: When there was a nationalistic furore with attempts to stop Vasil from representing MK, I was entirely on his side even though his song for me is one of the least appealing of the edition. I'd still want him to get his chance at ESC - but his Sudbina would have been such a more compelling entry for my taste.

🇮🇪 Ireland: Lesley Roy served nostalgic pop wonderment for the second year in a row, and another song that has etched itself already onto my life's soundtrack. I don't know what I'd change, except perhaps translate one of the choruses into Irish Gaelic - it'd make the message of a return to home even more resonant for me.

🇨🇾 Cyprus: Cyprus and I haven't seen eye to eye for several years now, and it's a shame as they were one of my favourite countries of the 90s. I do enjoy El diablo more than their last trio of songs, but I find it leans too heavy on a clear inspiration from Gaga, which takes away from some of the more original elements of the song. So, I'd rework the chorus, and also change some of the lyrics elsewhere because some lines just flat out make me cringe.

🇳🇴 Norway: I seem to have been in the minority of people delighted at MGP's final results! I had bigger favourites - the rambunctious sea shanty that is Vi er Norge, the kickass empowering Witch woods or the pulsating groove of Playing with fire - but I wouldn't take Tix' win away from him given how meaningful it was for him and what the guy has been through. My change? Revert partially or entirely to the Norwegian version, Ut av mørket; for me, it hits my heart harder.

🇭🇷 Croatia: Sincerely, my biggest disappointment of the NF season potentially - I wish Damir had been internally selected, not just because of my wish to see all ESC'20 alumni return, but because his was the best Croatian song for me since Moja štikla. Tick-tock is harmless but if we can't get a Damir return in this hypothesis, then I'd go for Rijeka, which captivated me with its epicness on first listen and has just risen in my estimation since. Though, given Nina's histrionics after coming second, maybe I'd have Albina perform the song instead.

🇧🇪 Belgium: I was prepared to not be on board with Belgium this year despite my long-lived love for the country - I found Release me, whilst orchestrated beautifully, entirely lacking in dynamism; and I really couldn't stand the way the band dumped Luka unceremoniously. And yet... this lush piece of art is one of my favs of the entire season. And there's something different and singular in Geike's voice. So the only thing I'm changing here are the dudes' attitudes to ESC so that they can value it more, especially Alex.

🇮🇱 Israël: As one of the most naturally charismatic performers of 2020, I had high hopes for Eden's return and the original idea of a mega-NF for her seemed really promising. Instead, we ended up with an uninspired strewing of songs, of which the best didn't even get the chance to be recorded by her. Set me free was my favourite of the three that got to the final, but I feel they've really worsened it with the revamp, in between the hail mary pass of the whistle vote and the extra emphasis on "I'mma". I would have Eden perform Shoulders instead - I don't know how it NQd and think it would allow her to showcase her personality a lot more.

🇷🇴 Romania: I really enjoyed Roxen's selection last year - small but quite diverse, and I felt the best song won. My change would be to have seen a similar national final with 3 or 4 other songs of hers this time, because I'm not convinced in Amnesia anywhere near as much as I was of Alcohol you.

🇦🇿 Azerbaijan: I wish they had gone with something at least a bit different rather than this cut, smudge and paste from last year that is so on the nose with its "you loved Cleopatra, so you will love this, won't you?" feel that it even namechecks the previous song. Efendi has a lot of talent and could have shown more diversity here.

🇺🇦 Ukraine: I'm getting used to the surprise revamp of Šum by now, but the question still remains for me, why did they do it? They needed to cut about a minute off the duration of the track, but to me, that doesn't explain why they also had to change the melody in large parts of the song. I'd be tempted to revert to a shortened form version of Šum version 1.

🇲🇹 Malta: Another unpopular opinion, but I'm just not that into the Maltese song this year. The lyrics are great and Destiny has poise and presence and PIPES and I'm sure she'll do well, but the style - a glammed up Electro-Velvet, essentially - doesn't heat me up, and I feel like the different parts of the composition are too dissonant from each other, like we have 2 or 3 songs in one here. My change would be for her to have gone with something more soul-ish in its sound, like AOML was.

And the AQs of this semi

🇩🇪 Germany: How did juries decide upon this, especially when there seems to have been many promising artists in the German selection? No shade against Jendrick who seems like a lovely chap, but the song sounds like the cheerful four chords on a ukulele you hear repeated as royalty free background music on Youtube tutorials, merged with a post-chorus breakdown taken from a Stefan Raab b-side. I would have gotten out my phone book and given Lilly among clouds a call - she gives me the vibes of being able to create something totally show-stopping.

🇳🇱 Netherlands: My original slight disappointment at this was more because of how high I have Grow than any fault of its own. It's another gorgeous composition from Jeangu, with probably the best set of lyrics of the year, and this is going to be a moment. I change nothing.

🇮🇹 Italy: I like Måneskin and their performances at Sanremo were brilliant - but they were far from being at the top of my favourites list. I would have given the win to Madame with Voce, or Ermal with Un milione di cose da dirti. Both would have been my #1 of the entire year, both move me deeply. Madame showcases contemporary Italian style with classic songwriting, whilst Ermal almost created a companion piece to Fai rumore - Diodato wanted to hear the sound of his loved one, whilst Ermal struggles to make a noise and say what he feels about his love.

Join me soon as I take a look at SF2 and its songs (and France, Spain and the UK, the auto-qualifiers from that semi!)

#eurovision 2021 #esc #eurovision #eurovison song contest #opinion #esc 2021

16 notes · View notes

allsassnoclass · 3 years

Note

“Every day you wake up and make it my problem” Luke to Ashton

alrighty a theatre au for the only person in the theatre department who can handle me <3

Opening night brings a palpable excitement in the air, a nervous energy that can only naturally be produced at this point in the production process. The scenes have been blocked, the lines memorized, the sets built, the costumes sewn, and every piece of design meticulously brought together to create something ready for sharing. As Luke hangs up the laundered costume pieces and ensures that the dressing rooms are prepared for the night, he can already feel the excitement amongst the crew milling about. It will only be compounded once the actors arrive for the night.

Luke has his sewing kit, numerous pins, extra hairspray, and a bite light. There aren't many quick changes in Hamlet, and all of them have been easily doable in dress rehearsals. He's ready.

When he wanders out to backstage, Calum and Michael seem to be ready, too. Calum is sitting on the acting block Michael has commandeered as his seat since tech, scrolling through his phone while Michael goes through his pre-show duties on the other side of the stage.

"Ready for tonight?" Luke asks, making Calum jump.

"Yeah. Is the laundry up?"

"Costumes are all clean and accounted for," Luke says. "If you want an empty dressing room, now is your time."

He stands and stretches, wandering over to the dressing rooms. Luke takes his spot and watches Michael continue to double-check props on the other side of the stage. Once satisfied, he heads back over, stopping short when he sees Luke.

"You're not my boyfriend," Michael says.

"He went to go get ready before the rush," Luke says. "Ready for tonight?"

"Very," Michael says. "No one has broken anything yet, which is a bit worrying, but I'm fucking ready to open."

"No one's broken any props or sets, you mean. I've had to resew numerous buttons and seams. Ashton can barely keep his clothes on."

"I bet you like that," Michael says, waggling his eyebrows. Luke flips him off, too used to Michael's teasing to be truly bothered. Ever since he first saw their lead actor and tripped over his own feet he hasn't known peace.

In his defense, Ashton is very beautiful. It is not Luke's fault that he got flustered during their first interaction. At least he was only writing down measurements instead of having to take them, because being that close to him without time to mentally prepare would have been embarrassing for everyone. (If he still has to take a few breaths when helping Ashton get on his more intricate costumes, that's his business, especially because being under the stage lights only enhances all of Ashton's best features.)

"Ashton gets to make out with your boyfriend every night. Stop laughing," he says flatly.

"Yeah, and it's fucking hot," Michael says, nudging Luke out of his seat.

Luke rolls his eyes. Reducing the relationship between Hamlet and Horatio to a "fucking hot" make out scene is a disservice to all of the painstaking work that Ashton, Calum, and the director have done to seamlessly incorporate it into the story without alienating or reducing Ophelia, but Michael isn't exactly wrong.

Ashton seems like a good kisser. Luke wants to know what it'd be like to be on the receiving end of that when there's no acting involved.

Luke kills time with Michael until he has to go on headset, signaling that it's late enough that Luke should probably check on the actors. Gertrude's zipper on her dress keeps getting jammed to the point where Luke is really considering replacing it. It works most of the time, but Luke is getting sick of having to finagle it. He helps her get it up and makes a note to replace it before tomorrow, then he heads to men's dress, ready to camp out until someone else needs him

"Luke!" Ashton greets exuberantly as soon as he steps in the door. He has his makeup on, just simple things to ensure he doesn't get washed out under the stage lights, but he looks stunning. He isn't even in his main costume yet, an intricate black tunic with gold embroidery meant to blur the line between historical and contemporary like everything else in the show, but Luke wants to swoon.

"Hi."

"Thanks for fixing my buttons," he says. "Again."

"Try not to rip them off tonight," Luke says.

"I always try," Ashton says. Somehow, Luke still feels like he's going to be fixing a button. Ashton doesn't restrain himself onstage. It makes him captivating to watch, but it also means that unnecessary rips and button tears occur, sometimes in ways that Luke thinks should be impossible. Being wardrobe head for this production has taught him many new ways to break a costume.

He helps the actors here and there with things like hair or specialty makeup, distracting himself from Ashton changing in the background and passing the time until the actors go to warm ups. Rosencrantz has managed to misplace his socks because he hadn't zipped his laundry bag when he gave it to be washed and Gildenstern can't find one of her shoes, but otherwise there isn't much for Luke to do with this show. He wanders out by Michael, knowing by now where he can stand to watch from offstage and when he'll have to move so he's not in the way.

When the lights go down and the warnings about flash photography and food in the theater play over the loudspeaker, Luke's heart starts thumping harder in his chest. Michael turns on the fog machine for a bit of haze at the beginning, Bernardo and Francisco take their places onstage, and the play begins.

Even after having seen the show during the crew view and hearing it over the monitors backstage every night since, he manages to get lost in the story. Each performer is on top of things tonight, none more so than Ashton. From the moment he steps out on stage the charismatic actor is gone, replaced by a moody but no less magnetic Hamlet. His grief and anger is palpable in his introductory scene, and his relief at seeing Horatio for the first time perfectly sets up their dependency in the rest of the show. His scene with the ghost is heartbreaking, and Luke finds himself subconsciously biting his lip and leaning forward, wanting nothing more than to erase his pain. Hamlet is enamored by Ophelia and broken by her betrayal, and every soliloquy is captivating. No one can command a stage like Ashton Irwin.

Intermission sees Luke attending to his actual job as a dresser, helping with the laces on a few costumes and checking with all the actors to be sure there's no issues. Ashton grabs his shoulders and blurts an excited sentence about crowd reactions, then immediately goes backstage to get "back into the Hamlet zone." Calum watches this interaction with raised eyebrows. When he heads backstage, Luke hopes he's not going to gossip with Michael.

The second half of the show goes just as smoothly as the first. Michael has him take care of the actress playing Oscric when she feels a little bit faint, but once she gets more water in her she perks back up and Luke can return to watching Ashton's breakdown on stage. The ending duel scene is more polished and realistic than they've ever done it, but it's Horatio's final moments with Hamlet that leave Luke speechless. Something about Calum cradling Ashton in his arms while Ashton commands him to stay alive and tell his story has Luke tearing up.

He leaves during curtain call to grab the laundry bag and set himself up outside the dressing rooms, ready to take everything that needs to be washed. It feels anticlimactic to have the first night of the show done, but Luke typically doesn't feel the same sense of accomplishment as the actors do after each individual performance. It never truly hits him until strike, when he has to put everything away and reset the theatre and costume space to prepare for the next show. Luke congratulates every actor that passes and waits for them all to leave so he can go home. There's no one waiting for him in the audience tonight and he wasn't told about any after-parties, so he's looking forward to getting sleep before returning to the costume shop tomorrow to take care of the notes he has.

"Ashton's the last one in men's dress," Calum says when he hands in his own laundry. "He asked me to send you in."

Luke had been hoping that Ashton would be able to make it an entire show without a costume mishap. Apparently that hope had been misguided.

"It's Luke," he announces, knocking on the door.

"Come in!"

Ashton is pulling on a t-shirt, giving Luke an accidental glimpse at the dimples in his lower back. When he turns around he looks sheepish.

"I lost a button during the duel."

Luke sighs.

"I promise I'm not deliberately being destructive," Ashton says. "I'm not trying to make more work for you."

"Yet every day you wake up and make it my problem," Luke says. "Can I see which button?"

Ashton brings him his dueling vest, pointing out where a simple black button had fallen. Luke will walk by the stage to see if it's still there or Michael found it, but if not then it won't be difficult to replace.

"I'm really sorry," Ashton says, still standing close. "I swear I won't make you fix my costume tomorrow."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Luke says. "You have the worst track record with costumes out of everyone I've ever worked with."

"Well, I need some excuse to keep talking to you."

Luke blinks at him.

"That was a joke. I mean, I do love having a reason to talk to you, but it'd be shitty of me to be deliberately making your job hard."

"Oh," Luke says. "You don't need a reason to talk to me. You can just do it."

"There's not a lot of time for it in the middle of a show," Ashton says. "Unless you'd want to see me outside of work sometime? Say, for a coffee or dinner? As a date?"

"Me?" Luke asks. Ashton makes a show of looking around the empty dressing room.

"I don't see any other tall, attractive blond men named Luke who keep putting my clothing back together."

Luke smiles, not trying to hide his excitement. He's a shit actor anyway, and Ashton would see right through him.

"I could do that, but only if you stop ruining your costumes every night. Make it through tomorrow with no mishaps and we'll go on a date."

"You drive a hard bargain, Hemmings, but I'll try my best. For you, I'd sew everything back together myself if I had to."

"Please don't," Luke says.

"You don't trust me?" Ashton pouts.

"No," Luke laughs. "You keep destroying your costumes. I'm not about to trust you to fix them correctly."

Ashton shrugs. "Yeah, okay. I'm not a good sewer, anyway."

"That's what you have me for," Luke says. Ashton smiles, just as dazzling under the dressing room lights as it is onstage. It takes Luke's breath away, just a little.

The dressing room door opens, bringing Luke back to Earth. Calum pokes his head in.

"Hey Ash, your siblings want to see you. Stop flirting with Luke and get out here." He doesn't wait for a response, thankfully leaving them alone again for another moment. Ashton ducks his head, scuffing his shoes against the floor.

"I shouldn't keep them waiting," he says.

"It's hard being a star," Luke replies. It makes Ashton smile again, which is an exhilarating experience in of itself.

"We'll check in about the date tomorrow," Ashton says. "No more costume mishaps, cross my heart."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Luke teases. Ashton snorts.

"Have a good night, Luke. Congrats on the show."

"You too," Luke says. "You're really amazing up there."

"Thank goodness," Ashton says. "It'd be a bit late to replace me otherwise."

Luke rolls his eyes with a smile. "Get out of here, superstar. Go see your family."

Ashton blows him a kiss and ducks into a bow with a flourish on the way out the door. Luke stands in the middle of the dressing room, running his finger over the spot on Ashton's vest where the button is missing. He should probably be annoyed, but he's not. He's going on a date with Ashton at some point, and that's worth all of the lost buttons and torn costumes in the entire production.

#my writing #lashton #drabble #I want to be involved in a production of hamlet SO BAD #SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also hello I miss traditional theatre #zoom theatre is great given the circumstances but I can't wait to actually Watch A Show In A Theater again #and be involved in one

23 notes · View notes

female-overlord-3 · 4 years

Text

Bring Them Home Ch 15 Smash

This fic is slow going with everything but going. Kept this baby as a draft until I wrote the next chapter :D

Alex, Michael, and Isobel bond and talk! Enjoy 💛

Read on AO3

Prev - Next

They get their 3 hours and a little bit more until Michael finally becomes the voice of reason.

"As much as I want to spend the rest of the day with you, I need to check in with Sanders and do my actual day job. Plus Izzy is nothing but greedy for all the attention on her."

Alex just gives him a look before dragging Michael back onto the bed and rolling to be on top.

"This is a once in a blue moon lazy day for me Michael. You give me another hour and then I'll be satisfied."

Their first hour was the nap after their call, Michael carrying a dozing Alex to his bed so they'd be more comfortable. The second was Michael thoroughly massaging Alex's full body after Alex does his at home PT routine. The third was them switching between kissing and talking.

Michael wouldn't mind the third hour becoming 2 straight hours of more talking and kissing. He also doesn't think he can move because Alex is pretty much the ideal weight for holding him down.

Then the small touches start. One hand moving to his neck as a thumb swipes up and down his throat slowly before it moves to sink into his curls. Fingers gently digging into his scalp as lips press randomly across his torso and above. Michael is in actual heaven as he loses time to Alex's devoting touches until his left hand cramps and he lets out a hiss from the pain.

Lifting up Alex gives him space to do whatever he needs, his face pinched in worry and flickers of guilt at seeing Michael cradle his hand.

"Do you need a heat compress or acetone for the pain?" Alex quietly asks but Michael shakes his head.

"It'll pass. Give it a minute."

Hesitantly Alex reaches for it and let's the tips of his fingertips rest ever so lightly on the ridges of the scarred skin that Michael barely feels as Alex traces it. Michael lifts his hand up to feel the pressure and warmth of Alex’s hand but Alex snatches it away.

“Doesn’t it-” Alex's voice was quiet and a bit hoarse. “I don’t want you to hurt. I was trying to-” He stops himself again with his words stuck as old guilt starts to consume him.

Sighing Michael sits up but keeps his hands to himself.

“You think we’re ready to talk about this?” He waves his left hand between them.

He gives Alex a good minute to breathe through what he’s feeling right now before slowly inching his right hand to the thigh resting next to his.

“I am but that’s cause I made peace with it a long time ago. If you’re not then we can put it on hold for another time but you didn’t do this to me, you’re not a monster or violent like him. I’m not gonna lie, it reminds me that there’s bad in the world, that it’s cruel and doesn’t care but,” His hand has traveled up and cups Alex’s cheek. “It also reminds me that there are kind people like you who somehow left me a medical kit even though I didn’t see you for a week because you were hurt too. That wanted me to get help and go to the hospital but found an alternative when I kept telling you no.”

Alex’s eyes fall closed as he leans into Michael’s hand.

“You’re lucky your antibodies are immune to human infection and diseases.” Is the only thing he can say.

“Pretty nice that my form of power boost is just 5 bucks a bottle too, though my personal brew is much better.” Michael raises his left and holds it in front of Alex. “You didn’t need to go and make us a matching set but of course you had to one-up me.”

All he gets is a soft noise from Alex who’s finally reached for his left hand, both of his cradling Michael’s like it’s precious as he brings it to his chest to lay right over his heart. The steady thump is a song he’s missed.

“You could’ve healed it but you didn’t want to. You wanted to remember the good and the bad.”

Michael snorts at that. “I mean Max only offered like once but it also would’ve become a thing if people found out. Even though I didn’t know how much your dad was actually watching us, I didn’t want to give him anymore reasons to start snooping around. Hey you think he knew before and that’s why he went psycho?"

He asks it like an actual question, one of pure curiosity because now with everything they know it might actually be true.

"Maybe but I knew regardless he'd do something to anyone I brought home. Sure it was like an open secret but I tamed it down around him, the eyeliner and punk was just the easiest way to be proud but on just the edge. It helped that he hated both."

Michael watches as Alex's face pinches again.

"Would you heal it now or like a partial one?"

Smiling Michael just rubs his thumb against Alex's chest.

"Don't know. Depends really."

He pulls Alex back down and holds him close, soaking up as much comfort and the feeling of safety, love, and peace.

Of course not 10 minutes later there's a honk and a mental nudge from Isobel.

"Nooooo." He groans and buries his face in Alex's hair.

Alex agrees and presses closer as their phones start ringing.

"How is she calling both of us!"

There's a knock at the door then the sound of intentionally loud footsteps that stop at the window of their room.

"I promised lunch."

"We could be having really kinky sex right now Iz."

"Oh that reminds me I need to find a new playmate. Alex we're going to a gay bar. I want to see if me going all obsessed over Rosa was a me thing or his and I need a wingman who gets me."

Michael makes a face and holds onto Alex tighter. He doesn’t want Alex going to any bar without him.

"In my professional opinion it might be too soon and you're technically still married but screw it let’s go have fun." Alex pauses and reconsiders his words. “Actually if anything Kyle might be more game then me. I may be out and proud but I kinda dislike people… and crowds now.”

He gives Michael a deep but short kiss and starts to wiggle free. Michael makes a valiant attempt to keep him in bed which is funny because earlier he was trying to head out for work and be responsible. He flips them over and tries to distract Alex with more kisses and he can feel Alex starting to give in when Isobel knocks on the window.

"We still game to blow up stuff or was that just the land around the cabin? Also will someone please let me in!"

They both groan and finally scramble out of bed to put pants on. Michael turns to face where the front door is and glares at it until it opens.

“It’s open.”

“Lovely. I’ll bring my stuff in.”

Michael slips down to slide on the sleeve then prosthetic for Alex before waddling closer to wrap his arms around Alex’s waist so he can bury his face in a very warm stomach.

“No bar without me. Someone’ll snatch you up.”

The vibrations and sound of Alex’s quiet laugh is nice.

“I was being honest about not really liking bars Michael and I'm only a tiny bit better about people. Have no fear everyone will be flocking to your sister.”

Silently Michael stands before climbing into Alex’s lap and latches onto him like a koala.

“Jesus I forgot how clingy you are.” Alex teases as his hands settle on Michaels sides. “Not that I mind.” He adds.

Leaning back to face each other, Michael gives him a dramatic pout. “You’re hot stuff and people will absolutely flock to you. I can’t stop people from looking but I can at least stop them from touching.” He eyes Alex’s neck hungrily and starts to lean down but a hand in his hair stops him.

“Ah and the marking thing. You sure you’re not a vampire?”

“It won’t be like-”

The unamused look Alex is sporting just makes Michael grin smugly. “You made it go around my whole neck. You gave me an actual hickey necklace Michael and it lasted for a whole week. No hickey necklace.”

“What about like two where everyone can see?” Michael questions and his eyes stare at the perfect spot. “I’ll keep them small.”

They roll over with Alex keeping him pinned down.

“You and I have a very different idea of what small is. No hickeys or marks until we go on another date.” He kisses Michael’s cheek before rolling off and leaving to go see what Isobel’s up to.

Michael mopes and gets dressed slowly. If the hoodie he has on is unusual for him well it’s Alex’s fault for leaving it in the room. In the closet and folded up top but Michael found it so finders-keepers.

“Michael you're staying 20 minutes so you can praise me while I break stuff with my mind." Isobel eyes the sweater and frowns. "Are you having a mental breakdown? That's the only time we wear hoodies." She comments and takes a step closer, ready to bring Michael into a hug for comfort which kinda confuses him.

"Um no. I'm good Iz. Just claiming one of my rights to wear something of Alex's." Michael pauses before taking his own step forward in concern. "Are you good? I know I haven't fully been there for you with everything but if you-"

Isobel rolls her eyes at him.

"I'm a big girl. It's been…. A lot but Alex and the others have helped in their own way. I do know breaking all this stuff will feel good so come on teach me how you do it." She says as she pats his shoulder then heads to Alex's backyard, Michael quickly following her.

"You're sure?" He asks. "I know we all have a tendency to avoid actually talking about our shit so if there's anything you want to then I'm here."

The tight line of Isobel's lips hold for a few seconds before dropping as she sighs.

"I'm still mad and hurt. Also sad because I- this whole mess started with him and I was just a tool he used. I was finally starting to feel like I could be myself but even that's a lie. First it was thinking I was the one who killed everyone and that sucked but finding out the actual truth was worse." Her voice wobbles a bit before she takes a deep breath to steady it. "I know I'm not okay and we're all dealing with our own shit but for once I don't feel totally alone. I'm gonna try and be a better sister to you because you've always been there for me Michael, you carried what happened that night with you for a decade so I wouldn't have too. I've let myself follow whatever Max decided because we got to grow up together and I thought he was right, that he was protecting us and the normal life we had."

She swallows and her eyes dart away.

"And he was but that meant you were left out because you never got our type of normal. So I'm gonna work on being there for you too and making sure you're included. Now let's go break stuff."

Michael grabs onto her hand and squeezes it. Isobel squeezes back and both their eyes are a bit misty but the smiles they wear are bright.

They see Alex a couple yards out, placing items from the box Isobel brought around his open backyard.

“Whatever you break you also clean up so I would suggest a tarp or something.”

Michael swaggers over and latches onto his side, nuzzling into his neck.

"Of course gotta keep the place clean. I'll go grab one." He leans to take a sip from Alex's milkshakes but it's moved away.

"You hate mint."

Michael blinks at him and can't help how big his smile turns.

"I don't mind it when it's from you." His eyes land on Alex's lips in an obvious request.

Michael's curls slap him in the face.

"Ow Iz why!"

"What? I'm just practicing my power." Her sickly sweet voice and eyelashes fluttering says anything but.

Michael rolls his eyes and pecks Alex's check. "You get thirty minutes and then I have to head to Sanders."

A hand slides into the back pocket of his jeans and he's pulled closer to Alex's side.

"Whatever you don't break or wanna leave to burn will be our bonding time."

Isobel's eyes light up at the offer.

"You really weren't lying about getting to explode shit! Like actual explosives?" She grabs onto Alex slowly and starts tugging him back to the house so he can show her.

Michael doesn't let go and they all walk back inside relatively easy for the three of them latched onto each other.

"More like I have the basic materials needed to make bombs which you would be surprised on how easy they are to make." Alex comments as Michael gives an understanding nod.

"Though I do have some minor explosives that are probably closer to fireworks which are easier to clean up after and that can easily be stated as such."

Alex slips out of their arms and goes to the small closet hidden behind the bathroom, the three of them bring all the goods to the living room.

"Does this mean I can use you as an excuse to come here instead of my mother's Fourth of July barbeque? I'm always stuck talking about nothing and everyone keeps expecting me to be pregnant. Do I look like mother material to you?"

She's settled in Michael's lap as they hold each other comfortably. Michael rests his head on her shoulder as he chuckles.

"Hmmm you're more Aunt material. You'd spoil my future kids rotten but also make sure they know how to talk circles around people the second they learn how."

"Their first words will be aunt Izzy or some variation of that. I'm not picky."

Her tone is casual but her eyes don't leave Alex who's gone quiet.

"I'm not saying a hard no to possibly being a surrogate but in a few years ask me again. I'll be back, just need to use the bathroom." She glides off of Michael's lap and out the door.

Michael doesn't pay her any mind and flops back to lay back on the bed.

The thought of having kids have been an off and on thing for him. Sometimes he doesn't because he's not even human and not the stablest person, being in the system didn't do him any favors. There's so much entailed with it that if he ever did he's worried the poor kid will turn out worse than him, that Michael won't have or be able to provide what they'll need. Then there are days he'd love to be that parent for someone who needs it, to be who he needed as a kid. Save at least one kid from a bad situation. Have the type of family he's sometimes let himself dream and barely hope for.

Sometimes it's just him raising a kid alone but other times Alex is there too, both of them sharing the love they have with someone else who might need it. Alex would never be like his father and would give their kid everything they needed no matter what but also make sure they have boundaries and morals and good life lessons.

"Would you want kids Alex?"

Michael voices once he's brought back to the present.

Just because he wants kids doesn't mean he needs them. He knows better than anyone that you gotta be committed and ready for that type of responsibility.

There's always the future but for right now he just wants to get his mom and people free, to deal with Noah, and to be with Alex.

"In another life… yes but I'm not sure about this one." Alex gets this nervous look on his face before sighing. "I'd have to think about it."

That's pretty much on par what Michael knew he'd say.

"Do you- I mean obviously you do but I'm not-"

Michael uses his powers to tug Alex to him. He takes Alex's hands and gives a light squeeze.

"I do but not now or for a while. I want to get my mom out and deal with the insanity of our lives first then enjoy being with you. I would like them in the far far future but I don't need them. I'm not letting some punk take all your attention until I've gotten my fill."

Alex clings to him and nods.

"Okay."

"As of now I love you and my meddling sister. You can come back in Isobel."

She walks in stubbornly with her head held high.

"I didn't mean to bring up future kids. You did that all on your own Michael and I'm sure you'll both be amazing uncles when Max and Liz figure their shit out. Max will finally have a reason to quit the force and stay at home to write like he's always wanted while Liz works on saving the world and all that jazz."

She grabs all the explosives quickly and carefully to do something with her hands.

“I mean who wouldn’t want an adorable hybrid of me though right, the world would all but perish under our reign. I’m sure i’d be a good mom though… with time and everyone else’s kids as a trial but like you guys said, now is a horrible time.” Her voice lowers to something almost hushed. “I’m sure plenty of kids need a home once i’m ready so all we need to do now is learn and be as prepared as possible.”

Michael smiles fondly at her as he stands and wraps an arm around her waist, pressing his forehead to the side of her neck.

“There’d be nothing stopping you once you decide your ready Isobel.”

Alex leans into her other side and they all just take a moment to breathe together.

“When we’re ready.” Alex voices with hope and it brings a smile to all their faces. “Does that mean we’re ready to go blow stuff up now?”

That gets a laugh.

“Come on all this emotional talk is ruining the mood. I’m ready to see how much control I need to learn to beat Michael!”

The three proceed to smash, break, and explode the contents of Isobel's boxes while enjoying their lunch.

Isobel is a bit shocked and proud of how much control Michael has on his power. A bit jealous too but she’s only just started. She finds it sickeningly sweet how awed Alex looks when he looks at Michael but the kind one he gives her makes up for it.

“How did I not see it?” She asks them. Her tone is light with wonder. That she never saw how much love just poured from them. It’s been a decade and she’s only finding out now.

Both Alex and Michael sigh but there’s less of a haunted look in their eyes.

“Shit timing and even worse communication.” Michael voices and then he’s at Alex’s side. “It’s hard to have something when everything’s going against you.”

Alex nods with his face set in a hard look before it clears.

“We kept it to ourselves cause it was safer but now there’s less bullshit to fight against.”

Isobel hurts from even the idea of what they’ve been through, the flashes she’s gotten from Alex flickering before she lets it all go.

“Well you’ve got someone else on your side.” she stands tall again, stronger and more solid with this certain topic worked through. "I'd happily melt anyone who's brain keeps giving you guys trouble. I'm sure I can make it look like an aneurysm."

She’s trying to be reassuring but the pained and overwhelmed look on Michael's face makes her feel unsure, like she's miss stepped somewhere.

It's only when Michael launches at her and holds her in a crushing hug, that his mind is so loud it's screaming at her by being in contact, that she understands.

Michael's always been so strong and never truly had anyone who he felt he could rely on, to truly rely on. Alex probably now with everything known but not really anyone else and that hurts Isobel all over again.

They should've been united from the start. They should've been together, able to rely and trust each other without doubt.

She holds on tight to him and lets out a sigh when Michael’s mind quiets, Alex’s presence closer being the obvious reason why.

Isobel is going to have a talk with Max about Alex and about Michael. Alex is right that they need to all work together to figure this mess out.

#malex #my work #moon writes #BTH #Look I can still write!#malex fic #Alex Manes #Michael Guerin #Isobel Evans

14 notes · View notes

the-awkward-outlaw · 4 years

Note

No ones ever done that to me before with Arthur please! Female reader if possible

For once, I actually wrote something that’s only 3 pages rather than 15! Anyways, nothing wrong with short and sweet. Hope you like it!

You’ve had a horrible day. It seems that from the moment you got out of bed, just about everything that could go wrong has. You were late to work because of a massive traffic accident and your boss said he didn’t want that as an excuse for your lateness and you should have checked traffic conditions when you got out of bed. Not only that, but the office has been having network issues off and on all day and because of it, you and your coworkers aren’t able to help clients as efficiently as you’d normally do. The result of this is you get yelled at by multiple clients over the phone.

By lunch time, you’ve already had enough of it. You went into the bathroom just so you could have a breakdown for a few moments. That was when Arthur texted you, asking you how you’re doing. It’s his day off, but even if he were at work, he always texts you during your lunch hour. You just texted back saying it’s been a rough day and he responds with a sad face emoji, but then you have to go right back to work before you can say anything else.

The afternoon proved to be no better than the morning. More screaming clients, continued network issues. Your boss is angry with everyone. Usually he’s pretty collected, but he’s been an asshole to everyone today, including you. It’s a relief when he gets pulled into a two hour meeting. You grabbed yourself a cup of coffee to try and help keep things going, but then the mail guy accidentally spilled it, covering your desk. He said sorry but then went on his way, leaving you to clean up the mess.

Arthur texted you multiple times and you’ve answered them when you can, but you can’t really go into too much detail. However, halfway through the afternoon, after a client called and got angry and said some pretty horrible things to you, you took a break and headed outside to get a breath of fresh air. You called Arthur then and cried to him a little, just stating how hard of a day you’ve had. He offers words of comfort and tells you how amazing you are, but without being physically there, he can’t do too much. You thank him though and head back inside.

An hour before your workday ends, the network finally gets back up to working properly and your boss threatens everyone to stay an extra two hours to clean up the mess. That was when his supervisor came in and told him they couldn’t do that as it was no one’s fault the network had problems. You silently thanked him, feeling like you dodged a bullet. However, the last hour was like a tornado. People running around everywhere, trying to get as much work done as they can in the last hour.

Right when the clock strikes five, your phone rings. It’s Arthur and he’s just making sure you’re coming home. You thanked him and promised you’d be home soon. You’re in the car now and you’re sobbing. On days like this, you detest your job. Sure, you don’t have to deal with the public as much as past jobs you’ve had, but still enough that you can’t just tell rude clients to fuck off like you want to. You still have to put on that happy smile and pretend like it doesn’t phase you. It does though and it takes a lot out of you. It doesn’t help that your boss was an absolute shithead today either. He’s not the friendliest guy, but he’s always been reasonable until today.

When you pull into your driveway, you take a moment to compose yourself. You don’t want to be a downer for Arthur when this is his first day off in two weeks. You put on your happy face and head inside only to find that most of the lights are off, a soft orange flickering from the kitchen.

Arthur walks out of the kitchen with a soft smile. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says in a calm voice.

“What’s all this? What’s going on?” you ask.

He walks over and takes your bag from you. “Sounds like you had a pretty bad day. Wanted to make you feel good about something. Now come on, let’s get you into something comfy.”

He leads you into the bedroom and you see he’s already laid out your favorite baggy t-shirt and lounge pants. You quickly strip off your uncomfortable shoes and clothes and put on your comfy clothes. He smiles at you and takes you to the kitchen. There, you find he’s lit the room with some candles and laid out the table with your favorite meal already waiting.

“You did this for me?” you ask.

“Yes, ma’am,” he says, putting a hand on your back. “And when you’re done with dinner, I’m gonna draw you up a nice bath with your favorite salts. Like I said, I want ya to feel good.”

“Arthur,” you say, trying not to tear up. “You didn’t have to do this for me. You haven’t had a day off in so long, you should’ve used it doing something that makes you happy.”

“This does make me happy. I just want ya to feel good, darlin’.”

You turn around and give him a light kiss before heading over to the table. He pulls out your chair, sliding it in when you sit down.

After dinner, you start heading towards the bathroom when he grabs you and pulls you into a tight hug. He pins you against him and you happily bury your face into his chest. That’s when the tears come. He rubs your back softly and murmurs in your ear that it’s going to be okay and it’ll be better tomorrow. You cry yourself out on his shirt and even when you can’t let go of anymore tears, you stay in his arms. He just feels so safe and warm and how amazing it is to finally have someone there to help you stand when you can’t anymore.

He whispers in your ear, “How about that bath, sweetheart?”

You nod and he kisses you again before he takes you to the bathroom and turns on the water. When it’s full enough, you strip and are about to get into the tub when he stops you. You turn and see he’s nude as well. You give him a curious look and he just chuckles.

“Just thought you might like some company in here.” You smile up at him and he gets into the tub, letting you slide in front of him, resting your back on his chest. His arms fold around you comfortingly. After a while, he speaks up. “Maybe after this, I can really make you feel good, hmm?”

You shiver a little, knowing he’s talking about fooling around. “That sounds amazing, Arthur. You always know how to make me happy in that bedroom.” You turn around and kiss him. “Thank you, Arthur. No one has ever done this for me before.”

He smiles and kisses you back. “You deserve this, darlin’. You’ve no idea how much you’ve changed my life since I met you and I never want to go back. I love you.”

#arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfic #red dead fanfic #awkward asks #arthur morgan x reader

93 notes · View notes

ascottywrites · 5 years

Text

The Sterek List --Heads

I have a guilty pleasure in enjoying Sterek (Heads) and Steter (Tails) fanfiction, if you could not tell by the last post, it's crazy outta control like woah. I hope you enjoy this list of fics that make my day while keeping me up during all hours of the night and tossing my free daylight moments down a swirling time vortex.

...don't be like me. It's probably for the best.

--Sterek a.k.a Stiles Stilinski/ Derek Hale--

*a.k.a the inappropriate light of my life

Move A Mountain by ZainClaw (Complete: 9/9| 69,008) --Sterek/ --Biker!Derek

Stiles goes camping with his friends in New Mexico after graduation where they befriend a biker gang led by Derek: a guy whom Stiles can’t decide if he will be either relieved or devastated to never see again once their week is up.

Racing With The Wind by lowlifetheory (Complete: 3/3| 26,478) --Sterek/ --Biker!Derek

'Sure thing Scott, I'll give him a ride,' Derek practically leered. Stiles faltered, the sudden image of Derek pinning him down, his muscular torso rippling with movement. Derek's smile spread into a smirk as Stiles got closer.

'I'm not really comfortable with this particular mode of transport.' Stiles said clutching the helmet. He wondered what it was made of, how secure it was, would it save his life if he fell off?

'Don’t worry, I know how to handle her,' Derek said resting a warm palm on Stiles's shoulder, fingers squeezing slightly as he guided Stiles closer to the massive hulking black bike.

'I should hope so,' Stiles muttered glaring at the motorbike.

The Feeling That I’m Under by wearing_tearing (Complete: 20/20| 289,584) -- Sterek/ --Biker!Derek Bunnysuit/Paramedic!Stiles

Stiles is a paramedic and Derek gets into a bike accident. It’s kind of love at first sight.

Part of the Pack by JusteAmusant (Complete: 7/7| 13,035) --Sterek

Season one of Teen Wolf, seen through Sterek-colored glasses. Canon Divergence after season 1 idk there's slow burn Sterek and a puppy, and way more Derek sneaking in through Stiles' window

“He could have shifted in front of them,” Derek hisses. “That means they find out about him, and in turn find out about me.” He pauses. “What the hell is that?”

“It’s a washing machine, what the hell does it look like? It’s a puppy.”

In which Derek is a struggling Alpha, but still the Pack Dad, and oh god, does that mean Stiles is the pack mom?

(There's) Sulphur in Our Blood by WonderWolf (wip: 18/20| 178,650) --Sterek

"Harris put you on a recon mission with Derek. You. Alone with Derek. On a mission. Together,” Scott says, slowly. “Does Harris want you dead?”

“I believe so," Stiles says gravely.

(Secret Agent AU where Derek blames Stiles for his sister’s death and Stiles is pretty sure that Derek’s going to murder him. As if that weren’t enough to deal with, Stiles’ familiar keeps having public breakdowns. Oh, and there’s a mole in the agency, so there’s that too).

Prince Among Wolves by Rawren (Deshonanana) (Complete: 20/20| 101,000) --Sterek

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

Pretty Human Virgin Boy Comes to the Pond- Feed Him All the Best Heads by Delta_Immortal (Complete: 8/8| 49,771) --Sterek/ --Dark!Derek

Stiles knew it was a bad idea to go into the woods, but little did he know his actions would cause the death of everyone around him. Running from the thing that killed Danny, Scott and Stiles stumble upon a pond, which happens to hold a strange man named Derek who floats around in the middle of it. Derek assures them they're safe now.

What appears to be salvation is nothing more than the start of the death of everyone Stiles cares about. The being known as Derek haunts him at every turn, unsatisfied until Stiles succumbs to Derek's whims. Stiles isn't sure if that involves sexing him or eating him, and he really doesn't want to find out.

*This had me like Holy Crap

It Was a Wednesday by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (Complete: 2/2| 80,119) --Sterek

What happened? Where are you? What’s that sound?” Derek jumped, having momentarily forgotten Scott was on the phone with him because Stiles had started moving. He’d stalked over to the other side of the cave, still eying Derek warily and growling, then settled protectively over a mass of clothes, leaves and animal innards. It was probably where he was sleeping. Lovely. No wonder he smelled like death. “Stiles,” Derek said, answering Scott’s question. Or, one of them, at least. “Stiles? What do you—Stiles is making that noise?” “Yes.” “Why?” “How fast do you think you can make it to the south lot of the Preserve?”

*Looking for that Stiles whump?

I'll Be With You Through The Dark by the_misfortune_teller (Complete: 61/61| 138,101) --Sterek

"Me and Scott talk about everything, about all my poor decisions.” “So I’m a poor decision?” “Probably, yes. Considering how you rudely threw me out of your apartment the other day after convincing me to kiss you and admit that I like you." ~ Set post Season 2 finale. Stiles is having a rough time at home and finds himself going to Derek for help in Scott's absence. He doesn't expect for Derek to end up turning to him for support, leading to something more than just friendship between them. Slow, slow, fluffy slow build!

*Based on the spoilers that just keep on coming, this is very likely to be canon divergent for s3!*

I Think the Problem Here is There's Nothing Wrong by wait_for_it (Complete: 1/1| 5,156) --Sterek

"Stiles wasn’t really sure what was going on, but if he had to guess, he’d say Derek Hale was losing his touch. The amount of times he’d been called out with the guy, presumably to stake out some new supernatural baddie only to have it be a false alarm, was starting to inch into the double digits."

In which Stiles and Derek are dating and everyone knows it. Except Stiles.

The One You Choose by Livinginfictions (Complete: 7/7| 13,440) --Sterek

Stiles hadn’t seen Scott in over a week, except for glances he caught during school hours.

How I Long For Yesterday by sweetbutterbliss (Complete: 1/1| 6,017) --Sterek

Stiles blinks, his throat going dry, and he moves his thumb without thinking - liking the post. He feels a surge of petty satisfaction. At least the fucker will know he knows now. He stands up, his body feeling too heavy, and he blows out the already guttering candles. He lets out a sob of frustration when the last one won't fucking blow out. But he sucks it back in and bites down on his tongue, using his thumb and forefinger instead.

He throws himself into their empty bed without undressing. He lies there repeating the words 'Derek blew me off for Isaac' over and over. He tells himself to shut up while rearranging his pillow violently, but he goes to sleep with the refrain continuing its painful loop.

And You Say You're Alone by taelynhawker (Complete: 1/1| 30,314) --Sterek

Between the kanima, the Argents, and Peter's untimely return from the dead, everything has fallen apart. Stiles and Derek try to put their lives back together once the crisis has passed. Stiles deals with the aftermath of being tortured, and the distance growing between he and Scott. Derek attempts to become a stronger alpha and keep his pack safe, and that includes Stiles.

Can't Take the Heat? by Ilovesocks_24 (Complete: 15/15| 55,425) --Sterek/ --Chef!Stiles Chef!Derek

Hi, I’m Stiles, and what I have for you today is…”

“Stop, just stop.” Grumpy Eyebrows interrupted. “That is honestly the worst looking Pasta Primavera I have ever seen. I don’t even want to eat it, it looks so bad.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes. No one insulted his creamy bacon carbonara without even trying it. And no one insulted his creamy bacon carbonara after they tried it either. “It’s actually a Creamy Bacon Carbonara, asshole,” Stiles snapped. “And for the record, it’s supposed to look like that.”

Or the one where Stiles is a new sous chef at Full Moon Steakhouse and Derek is the Gordon Ramsay of all head chefs. So of course they fall in love.

*This is one of my favorites

Love Runs Wild by DevilDoll for neptunepirate (Complete: 1/1| 9,494) --Sterek/ Neckz 'n' Throats

"You've got a hickey on the back of your neck!" A Neckz 'n Throats story.

If I Could Trade Mistakes For Sheep, Count Me Away Before You Sleep by alisaj (Complete: 1/1| 33,383) --Sterek

"Thing is, Stiles," Derek says, his voice hard and unfaltering. "I didn't sign up for you. You just hung around until we got used to you being here."

That stings. He hadn't realised how Derek feels about him. They've been getting on quite well, teaming up on little missions and bantering back and forth without malice. Stiles sometimes lets Derek crash in his room after a big fight, trying not to let on how intriguing he finds the werewolf.

"Well now we can get used to you not being here. You're a liability, Stilinski. You can't protect yourself and we always end up having to help you when we've got more important things to do. You're out of the pack."

The one where Derek is a terrible Alpha and Stiles ends up walking into a big pile of shit.

Teach Me How Love Goes by RoseByAnyOtherName17 (Complete: 1/1| 9,482) --Sterek

Derek asks Stiles to have sex with him. Stiles says no, because he doesn't want to get his heart broken again. Somehow it happens anyways, but really, it's his own fault. He's the one who fell in love with Derek against despite knowing how bad an idea it was.

a taste for the forbidden by demonicweirdo (Complete: 1/1| 5,982) --Sterek

Stiles narrows his eyes. “I haven’t been doing anything to you.”

“Bullshit,” Derek snaps.

The air in the room grows colder. “I swear it. The only magic I’ve used around you is to make your crops grow!” Stiles takes a step away. “How could you think that I would… You know what? Screw you, buddy. I’m sick of walking in circles around you.” His words are sharp and annoyed, and his shoulders are tense, as though he’s preparing for a fight. “You feel something for me? Wow, it must be sorcery! Because - what? I’m not good enough for your feelings, Derek?” he snarls.

Hello, Heartbreaker by astoryaboutwar (Complete: 1/1| 18,472) --Sterek

It’s a popular joke among Alphas: fuck an Omega, get heartbreak on your hands. Omegas are fragile little emotional things, needy and whiny. Stiles refuses to become that, or to believe that he’s anything like that.

Stiles and Derek have been fuckbuddies for a while when Derek loses his memories of the past three years - and them - in an accident. (Also - everyone's a werewolf, and everyone's alive.)

Bruises and Bitemarks by orphan_account (Complete: 27/27| 121,566) --Sterek

Biologically, Stiles is weak. When he presented as an omega, he knew that to be the truth but that never stopped him from running his mouth as a defense mechanism. However, it could only save him so many times before he ended up pissing off the wrong person. After he's attacked in the parking lot outside of school, Stiles realizes he can no longer protect himself with just pure wit and sarcasm. When the attack lands him in the hospital, his dad forces him to pick between two options, report the alphas who attacked him or join a kickboxing gym run by omega rights activist and alpha, Derek Hale, a man Stiles has been in love with for many years. *Now includes an extended chapter featuring Nate/Jupiter*

I know that you love me, even when I lose my head by LunaCanisLupus_22 (Complete: 13/13| 135,577) --Sterek

“We’re not mates, Cora,” he insists. “I mean look at him-“

“Ouch,” the kid says, no longer pushing that shit eating grin.

“He’s- he’s,” Derek tries, at a loss of how to explain why this can’t be possible. Why it shouldn’t be possible. Or the one where Derek gets attacked by hunters, ends up with amnesia and forgets Stiles is his mate

328 notes · View notes

ephemeral-afterlight · 5 years

Text

Day 29: Numb

(Don’t lose yourself.)

Whumptober 2019 Day 29: Numb

Word Count: 4980

Relationships: DLAMP (romantic), Creativitwins (NOT remrom), Intrulogical (platonic)

Warnings: Rape aftermath/memories of noncon/talk of phantom sensations/memories from the event, panic attacks/hyperventilation/crying/emotional breakdowns, remus-typical vulgar/disturbing language (mild), mention of animal mating habits, vomiting (non-graphic/not described in detail), self-deprecation, cursing

A/N: Y'ALL I'm YELLING?? I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE SHORT AND IT TURNED INTO 5K AAAAAAAA;;;;;;;;; OKAY so someone mentioned wanting to know what happened after logan woke up after the events of day 21: laced drink. and. this happened!! i hope y'all enjoy this not-as-little-as-i-expected sequel in 5+1 style! it's fluffier than i thought it'd be :3c

It’s a lot to come to terms with when Logan wakes up.

He’s never been one for sentiment, never really has had romanticized dreams or wants relating to that type of thing. Sex and romance have never been a very prominent part of his personality, never been something he thinks about very often. Between his studies and college, he has much more important things to worry about than who copulates with whom.

But for some reason, when he finally opens his eyes and rises from his slumber, Logan bursts into tears.

He doesn’t know why. He can barely remember what happened last night, can barely remember anything outside of a vague sense of pain. There are shadows on his skin, phantom whispers of fingers pulling his thighs apart, and it feels so real that Logan gags in fear. It doesn’t help that he’s also nauseous from the drug and the alcohol he consumed last night, so his shooting up from the covers and running into the en suite bathroom to empty the meager contents of his stomach into the toilet isn’t really much of a surprise.

Logan wants to stop crying. He doesn’t want to be breaking down like this, tears dripping hot from his face onto his comforter. He just wants to go back to sleep and wake up and have everything be fine, but of course he can’t even have that. This is all pathetic anyway, because there’s no reason for him to be so upset. He doesn’t really care about sex or relationships, has never dreamt of romance, so… so why is he crying quietly into his blanket as if he’s mourning the loss of something important?

His “first time” shouldn’t mean anything to him. It doesn’t matter that it was with a stranger, because he doesn’t care about sex, and he doesn’t have anyone to share his first time with anyway. There’s no logical reason to be crying, no rationale that would make this acceptable in any way. He’s here curled up in the fetal position, pathetically shedding tears into his pillow, and he’s in this much pain over a night he doesn’t even really remember. What an idiot.

“Hey, Pocket Protector, you up? I tho--” Roman’s voice comes from the door, bursts through Logan’s bubble of misery with the typical full tone echoing in his bedroom. He cuts himself off when he sees Logan shaking, clutching his pillow so tightly his knuckles are white. Little sobs spill out from behind the dark blue fabric, trickle out into the air like music notes and melodies carried by the wind, and Roman’s heart drops into his stomach. “Oh, shit.”

Roman immediately rushes over to launch himself onto the bed, placing himself strategically so that he ends up sliding into place right beside Logan’s head. Said Logan peeks up at Roman with a mixture of sadness, regret, and fear shining in his wet eyes, and the way he shrinks into himself breaks Roman’s heart. He lifts his hand up to run his hand through Logan’s hair, frowns even more when Logan nuzzles into the affectionate gesture desperately. “Logan, amorcito, what’s wrong?”

The term of endearment is more comforting to Logan that he expects, and given Roman’s low speech and gentle handling, it’s no wonder Logan feels a warmth blossoming in his chest. He doesn’t know what it means, doesn’t know how to pinpoint it, but he does know that when he looks at Roman, he sees a light from within. It shines so brightly, like rays of sunlight spilling over his face, and Logan finds himself craving more of it.

“I feel-- think there’s something wrong with me,” Logan whispers, shame building uncertainly in his throat, and Roman’s brows pull together. His concern is like a balm, eases the burn of the man’s fingers on Logan’s skin, and it’s almost addictive. His boisterous roommate doesn’t hesitate to pull Logan into his arms, doesn’t notice the way he flinches at the touch. He isn’t scared of Roman, of course he isn’t, but he’s of remarkably similar stature to his assailant.

“You are perfect just the way you are, dearheart. I… I love you. A lot. And I’m not saying that you have to return it, or that you even have to say anything, I just… you are loved. I care about you so much, and I vow to do my best to protect you from the dangers of the world,” Roman rambles, a dramatic speech to punctuate Logan’s sniffles. He doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to get up out of his bed. But reaching up to give Roman a soft, appreciative kiss on the cheek is easier than he’d ever expect.

Honestly, Logan should’ve expected it’d come eventually. Despite his breakdown the first day, the day after it happened, he hasn’t actually had another. Closing his heart in an icy cage feels like second nature, as if he’s flipped a switch to turn off his feelings so that he doesn’t have to confront them. He knows it’s unhealthy. He knows it’s not a proper coping mechanism, that it’ll only cause him problems. But he can’t do it, can’t face the pain and the residual fear and the debilitating anxiety whenever someone touches him without warning.

It wasn’t Patton’s fault that it changed so quickly, of course not, because he didn’t know. He couldn’t have known, because Logan still refuses to tell them what happened that night. Ethan, ever the gentleman, courteously left that part of the story out, said that what happened wasn’t his place to tell. Logan can’t even begin to describe how much he appreciates that, because he’s still coming to terms with the events of the night. He doesn’t need other people fretting over him before he’s ready for them to know, especially when he himself doesn’t really understand the turmoil in his mind either.

But that same silence has caused a lack of proper communication between the five of them, a gap in the knowledge of what to do and what not to do. Logan can’t exactly ask them to not touch him without letting him know first, without asking beforehand, because it’ll just bring up questions. Things asked that are too personal, queries he won’t know how to answer, information he doesn’t truly understand himself. So he just has to wait, and process, and hope that one day, he’ll stop feeling tears prick at his eyes when he hears yelling, that he’ll stay calm when someone brushes against his side by accident.

Of course it’s a hug that ruins his plans.

Patton means well, Logan knows that. He knows that it is meant to be a gesture of solidarity, the type of tactile affection his roommate gives so freely. It’s supposed to help, supposed to make him happy, supposed to be like a remedy to his unexplainably downtrodden mood that’s been going on nonstop for the past week. But as soon as Patton comes up from behind, loops his arms around Logan’s waist as he’s trying to make himself a sandwich, it’s all wrong. It feels too constricting, too much like a cage, a prison cell. Patton’s hands squeeze tightly around his midriff, hold and pressurize and pin him down, and they’re going to go lower and lower and slip between his legs and--

Logan doesn’t even get to apologize for shoving Patton into the refrigerator before tears are dripping down his cheeks and panicked hyperventilation cuts through the silence of the apartment’s kitchen.

And Patton looks much less hurt than he does confused, and worried, and almost as panicked as Logan is, and he calls for someone to help when trying to talk to him through his sobs doesn’t work. Remus is gone, and Virgil just stands at the doorway and twists his hoodie strings in his fingers nervously, but Roman is there, strong and ready to help. With both his and Patton’s help, soft hushed voices in the morning air to soothe and lull his sorrow away, Logan’s fear tapers off.

He feels bad. He tells them so, apologizes over and over to Patton for hurting him. He says he’s so sorry for pushing him off, for scaring him, and Patton just looks bewildered. “Lo-Lo, I was the one who scared you. There’s no need to apologize, that’s what I should be doing! It isn’t okay to sneak up on someone like that, it’s not your fault that you had an understandable reaction to it, honey. I’m sorry. I love you.”

And this time, just this time, Logan gets to initiate the hug, has much more control, and he feels like he can finally breathe again.

“Hey, Logan? You think walrus meat would be good in a stew?” Remus asks one day, spinning crazily in Logan’s desk chair as the owner of the chair himself quietly reads a book in his armchair. It’s a lazy day, dreary and gloomy as a storm rages outside, and Logan loves it. He adores having an excuse to hole up inside his room, to be with himself and his book and… well, Remus too, apparently.

“Maybe. I wouldn’t advise trying it, though. Regular beef is perfectly adequate and is much easier to obtain,” Logan replies monotonously, inflection lost when he’s too lost in his novel to care. Social interaction takes effort, too much to sound more normal to the ones he communicates with, and when he’s multitasking like this he can’t concentrate long enough to even bother to try. He doesn’t want to fake animation and liveliness, wants his care to be real. His friends deserve that.

“Yeah, guess you’re right. Hey, did’ja know that lions can fuck a hundred times a day? They have sex over and over and over and over and over and--” Remus says, but his nasally voice slowly bleeds away. It’s drowned out by the rushing of blood like white water rapids through Logan’s ears, lingering on facts that don’t even really have anything to do with him. It only happened once. It was weeks ago. He barely remembers it. But for some reason, even the mention send his thoughts into a frantic, dizzy spiral, and it’s all back. The pain, the fear, the touches that made him feel like nothing more than dirt on the ground.

Nausea coils in his stomach, and Logan throws up in his bedside trashcan because of his irrational fears a second time.

“Woah, shit, you okay? Did’ja eat somethin’ rotten? Somethin’ gross? Are you sick?” Remus asks, high and quick, and to his credit, he sounds more concerned that Logan expects even with his words. He hands Logan some toilet paper to wipe his mouth with even as he drones on about how long it takes for food to go bad, and although his method is unorthodox, Logan still is grateful that he’s trying. He flushes the toilet and stands on shaky knees, gratefully leans on Remus’ extended elbow until he’s able to sit on the edge of his bed. The silence between them extends for quite a while, a surprisingly long time for Remus to go without talking, but then he speaks up, much quieter than he was before.

“I do love y’a, y’know. Like another brother! You’re my friend, help me to not do too much stupid shit. You’re a party-pooper, but you’re probably the only one keepin’ me outta jail. So thanks!” And, well. Remus may be reckless, and vulgar, and completely irrational, but he’s a pretty good friend too.

What Logan wore to the bar that night was one of his favourite outfits.

“Was” being the operative word in the statement, because now, he can’t even stand to look at that pair of fishnets without tears blurring his vision and the air getting trapped in his chest. The cross-stitched pattern is a net, a vice made to capture him, and the giant gap where threads are frayed around the edges is a noose waiting to strangle him. Every time he looks at that pair of jeans it’s as if his heart has been waterboarded, drowning in regret and terror and hatred, and it’s suffocating.

So he got rid of it. Threw them out, never to be seen again. It’s not a permanent solution to his figuratively fractured heart, but it makes it just a little bit easier to breathe.

Virgil watched him that day, when he tossed the clothing into the garbage can outside their apartment, watched his contempted eyes scan the streets and alleys around him with a vigilance that’s all too familiar. He doesn’t know what’s going on with Logan, what caused him to have such a drastic shift in his personality, but he can make educated guesses. That day, he came back with a cut on his eyebrow and a raw, bleeding lip, so Virgil has the feeling that maybe he got attacked. It’s not unheard of for people far too drunk to safely interact with others to have short tempers, and if Logan exhibited his usual curt retorts, he may have pissed them off enough to beat him up.

Of course that’s only speculation, but something happened, and they all know it, but they just don’t know what. It’s driving Virgil crazy, and he knows it’s severely bugging Roman too. Even Patton is overcome with worry, but he managed to convince the two to let Logan come to them when he’s ready. Virgil knows that’s the right thing to do, that he’d want the same thing if it were him in Logan’s position, but it doesn’t mean he has to enjoy it.

And it’s times like now when Virgil wants desperately to break that rule, to interrogate Logan until the truth is finally out, but that’s awful and would only hurt Logan. He just doesn’t know what to do anymore, not with the way he comes downstairs in the middle of the night to retrieve a glass of water for his parched throat and instead finds Logan curled as small as possible in the corner. His knees are drawn up to his chest, and he’s managed to compact himself enough to fit between the end counter and a shelf. Tears come in rivers over his cheekbones, and his hands shake, and his breathing is choppy and shallow.

“Lo. Logan, listen to me, you need to breathe. You’re having a panic attack, but it’s gonna be okay, I promise. Just follow my breathing. count to five when you breathe in, hold it for five seconds, and then breathe out for five seconds. Nice and easy,” Virgil murmurs, quiet reassurances in the dead of night. Logan tries his best despite the mortification he feels at being caught, but then again, Virgil knows what panic attacks are like better than anyone. He wouldn’t judge him or laugh at him for this. He wouldn’t. Right? “There you go. You’re doing great. Just keep breathing.”

It takes a couple more minutes to come down from the anxious cloud Logan is suspended on, and once he does, he immediately is ashamed of himself. Virgil could have been sleeping this whole time (and he needs it) and yet he’s sitting here, helping Logan with his selfish dramatics. He doesn’t know what to do, how to make it up to him, so he just apologizes, sad and angry at himself. His upset causes Virgil to shake his head as he rubs comforting, soothing circles into the back of Logan’s hand with his thumb. “Don’t worry about it, dude. Panic attacks suck, I get it. I’d much rather you come to us for help instead of brave it alone, though.”

“Thank you,” Logan whispers hoarsely, eyes wide and wet and clear and Virgil just gives him a small smile. He raises his hand up slowly, asks him if it’s okay to touch, and it almost feels like his heart stutters in its pace. He’s touched, so incredibly touched, and he’s also almost endeared. Permission is granted easily, and Virgil tucks a lock of hair behind Logan’s ear, and then he pulls him into the lightest hug Logan’s ever experienced.

“No problem. I-- I… I love you, Logan. Sorry I haven’t said it before.”

The idea of hugs is seriously starting to grow on Logan.

Truth or dare really is a stupid game.

“Logan, truth or dare?” Roman asks, bouncing up and down from where he sits cross-legged on the floor. The six of them are all arranged in a circle, playing a game of Truth or Dare to commemorate Ethan’s first sleepover (coined at Patton’s insistence) in their apartment. They’ve all been steadily growing closer with him, going on outings or texting in a group chat far into the early hours of the morning. Although the circumstances in which they met aren’t ideal, Logan easily finds himself glad and thankful for his presence. He’s so similar to Logan in a lot of ways; although he does enjoy engaging in chaotic activities with Remus and belting out show-tunes with Roman, he also likes the quiet, to read and debate philosophy, which has left the two of them at a mutual understanding of one another more than once.

The other five have been drinking all evening, and are currently at various levels of intoxication. Logan opted out, which earned him an understanding look from Ethan, of whom completely skipped over him while handing out the initial first round of beers. Roman is by far the drunkest, although he isn’t completely inebriated. Remus has drunk the most, but he doesn’t really exhibit any obvious signs of intoxication, so it’s difficult to tell. Virgil has also drunk a lot, and as a result has taken the charge along with Roman on most of the dares. Patton surprisingly agreed to drink as well, and he’s been swaying on tipsy for a while now. Ethan hasn’t drunk much, but he’s definitely much more loose and carefree than before they started.

Virgil pops a handful of chips into his mouth and chases it down with some more beer as Remus takes a swig of whatever he has in his water bottle. Logan’s pretty sure it’s vinegar, but he doesn’t really feel the need to bring this fact up. Logan wants to just answer truth and get his turn over with so he can return to his novel, but they are here to have fun, and Logan would hate to ruin that.

“Dare, I suppose,” Logan sighs as he tilts his head, watches the other players’ eyes light up in various levels of conspicuousness. He’s chosen truth every single time his turn came around and answered the questions succinctly, leaving no room for confusion. He’s aware that his presence and participation are what one would consider boring, but he’s far more interested in the novel by his side than the game. He’s perfectly content to just watch their antics from the sidelines, exasperated but amused and fond, but they had insisted on him joining the game too.

“Hmm… we keep giving each other boring dares, let’s make this more fun! Logan, I dare you to… hmm… oh,” Roman vocalizes as he’s struck with an idea, sly eyes and a smirk sliding onto his face. The others lean in, intrigued, and Logan doesn’t really know what to expect. He’s never played Truth or Dare before now, hasn’t experienced a dare, so he isn’t exactly sure what a typical dare entails. “I dare you to kiss Ethan!”

Oh.

Logan doesn’t really know how to react to that. His brain is much more alert now than before, on guard despite there being no real danger around him. There’s no danger, it’s safe, it’s okay. The words of self-comfort are ones he’s uttered to himself night after night of being afraid of sleeping alone in the dark, where it’s all too easy for his vision to flash and put him right back in that man’s house, underneath his sweaty body, feeling his fingers pressing into--

“Logan? Sorry, was that too much? You don’t have to,” Roman says, confused even as he laughs and takes another drink from his plastic cup. Patton reaches over and slowly pries the cup away to replace it with a water bottle, and although Roman whines about it, he complies in the end. Virgil just continues to munch on the chips and watch them all, not even flinching when Remus drapes his arms and head over one of Virgil’s shoulders.

“A dare is a dare. I have to do it,” Logan says, clear and strong even though inside, he’s shaking. Although it is a reply to Roman, it’s also a reassurance for himself, a way to build up confidence so that he can actually do this. It’s not as if he doesn’t want to, because he does, it’s just that the thought of potentially losing control and getting hurt scares him. He feels almost guilty, because Ethan would never, ever hurt him or do something he’s uncomfortable with, but it doesn’t change the fact that the thought still nags at the back of his mind anyway.

“Nice! Go Logan!” Remus cheers, and Virgil and Roman laugh along. Patton just grins at all of them, happy and endeared as he breaks off a piece of a chocolate bar to let it melt sweet on his tongue. He hooks his arm around Roman’s neck and gives him a peck on the cheek, eyes bright and loving when Roman turns to catch his lips with his own anyway. Virgil just smiles and shakes his head even as Remus yells something about cooties right beside his ear.

“Logan, don’t, you-- you don’t know if you can handle this. You don’t have to,” Ethan stresses quietly amidst the energy, worried eyes boring into Logan’s own. And Logan knows. He knows that it still hurts, that he could freak out any second, that he could hear whispers in his ears any second. He doesn’t care. He can’t live his life constantly afraid of intimacy. He needs to take control, take it back, and be able to conquer the demons residing in the darkest corners of his head. So instead, he just sets down his book, places his hand on Ethan’s shoulder, and draws him closer.

Playful taunts and jeers come out of the others when the two stop inches away from one another, intense eye contact serving as the only thing keeping either of them from advancing. Logan breathes slowly and deeply, lets a small smirk play in his expression. Ethan’s breath catches in his throat when he manages to break the eye contact, lets his gaze flick down to Logan’s lips before licking his own, and then--

And then. They’re kissing. They’re actually kissing, and Logan isn’t even that afraid anymore! Sure, he isn’t completely off guard, but his own want surprises him when his hand slides from the base of Ethan’s neck to tangle his fingers in soft, lightly curled locks. Ethan responds just as eagerly, allows three fingers to rest on Logan’s jaw as a guide, and the feeling causes Logan to shiver from where he sits on his knees. It feels nice, warm, comforting. Despite the tiny bit of heat coiling low in Logan’s abdomen that he knows he won’t act on, it all feels somewhat tame, just an easy slide of lips against lips as the two figure each other out. Pulling away feels like it happens far too soon, but the others are teasing them with “getting a room” (apart from Remus, who lefts the room to go find more snacks), so it’s probably best to hold off, at least for now. Ethan releases out a shaky breath, and a bright smile makes its way onto his face, and Logan is instantly smitten. Is this…

“I love you,” Ethan breathes, sure and truthful and hopeful, and Logan can pinpoint the exact moment his brain figuratively catches up to his mouth and embarrassment spreads like roses across his cheeks. The others cheer happily, saying things like “Finally!” and “Took him long enough.” and it makes Logan wonder just how long Ethan has wanted this, how long they’ve known and he himself has been in the dark.

“I-- I love you guys, too. Fuck,” Ethan stutters out, curses his own unsure confession, and he’s stunned when looks of pure delight spread across the others’ faces. Roman looks absolutely overjoyed, and Patton is giddy with happiness, and Virgil is quiet even as a bright smile graces his typically downturned expression. Logan is aware of the acute feeling in his chest, the way the breath seems to get stuck in his lungs in a different way than that of when he’s afraid or in a panic. This feels warmer, more definite, and it only increases when Ethan smiles shyly as both Roman and Patton tackle him in a hug.

It’s interesting how quickly movie nights have become a regular occurrence among their five-man household.

With the addition of Ethan into their home, into their FamILY (as Patton says), things have become a bit different in terms of everyday life. They still wake up every morning for breakfast, still deal with Virgil’s grumbling and Remus’ energy and Roman’s singing and Patton’s laughter and Logan’s exasperation. They still play board games every Friday, still help each other with homework, still curl up in whoever’s bed is closest to leech the warmth from one another. But now, they have Ethan there, to sweep into the kitchen and pour Virgil and Logan coffee, to stir the food in the pan that Patton inevitably will forget about, to make sure the twins don’t fight over serving portions. Now he absolutely demolishes all of them at Clue, assists with whatever schoolwork he can, brushes his teeth right alongside them as they prepare for bed.

It’s strange to consider these new developments, this new relationship, and Logan finds that he’s more entranced with the idea of it than he previously assumed. The quiet, trusting comfort they’ve found within one another is something that Logan doesn’t quite understand, and he doesn’t think he ever really will. It’s beyond words, beyond explanations, and that alone would normally completely turn Logan off to it. He operates best when he can rationalize things, describe and explain and make sense of things that happen in the world around him, but this… there’s something different. There’s something about him that frustrated him to his core and yet he can’t let go, refuses to give it up. He loves them too much for that.

And it’s that thought, that stray thought that floats into his head as the others lounge in various places around the living room that sends what feels like an electric shock coursing through his veins. He loves them. He’s in love with them, so deeply that it makes his heart ache. He loves how Virgil is perched on the arm of the couch, how Patton giggles at every joke in the movie, how Roman sings along with the soundtrack, how Ethan snuggles into Logan’s side as he rants about character flaws in the downtime between action scenes. He loves them all, loves them for who they are.

Logan also loves them for being so patient with him. He loves that when he feels like he can’t escape from the memories, Patton will take him aside to bake cupcakes and distract him from his mind rebelling against itself. He loves that when it becomes too hard to stay focused on the present, when his breathing becomes like painful bullets in his lungs, Virgil will count with him, hold his hands until he doesn’t feel so lightheaded anymore. He loves that when he just can’t stop shaking, needs to know that he’s safe, Roman will enclose him with a protective embrace and rock him until the trembling stops. He loves that when he can feel the phantom sensation of the man’s touch on his legs, when he can feel wispy fingers dipping between his thighs, Ethan will cocoon him in blankets and read a story to him to stave off the terror and the nightmares. And although Logan loves Remus in a different way than he does the others, he still loves how Remus is always happy to rant and ramble about anything and everything at once when Logan can only hear the man’s voice playing in a loop through his thoughts.

He loves them. His boyfriends, and one of his best friends, he feels like he’s bursting at the seams with how much love has welled up in his chest. He wants to let them know, wants to tell them. He wants them to understand how he feels, that he adores them unconditionally. So he does.

“I love you guys,” Logan says, soft and important when the volume is turned down on the television, and four heads whip around to stare at him in shock as the credits roll in the background. Logan feels a bit awkward under their scrutiny, doesn’t really know how to jump-start their movement and cognizance again, so he just gives a tiny, genuine smile.

Apparently, that’s plenty enough to achieve the effect he wanted, but Logan doesn’t expect for three bodies to immediately hurl themselves at him in a massive group hug. Ethan simply turns and places his face in the crook of Logan’s neck, laughs silently as Patton starts crying and Roman goes off on a long, dramatic spiel declaring his love and Virgil just buries his face in Logan’s arm. And Logan flinches, of course he flinches, because the sudden touch startles him. But he’s not scared. He doesn’t feel afraid, doesn’t feel unsafe, and a gentle, shining warmth glows within him. And he gets it now. He understands what that warmth is. It’s pure, unadulterated love, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

81 notes · View notes

synthient · 5 years

Text

The Key to Understanding Deltarune: The Halloween Hack

So we’re currently in the middle of a 4000 year content hiatus

Which is unfortunate, because ever since the big iconic Halloween-day surprise demo drop, my brain has been rattling a baseball bat against the inside of my skull and chanting “CONTENT, CONTENT, CONTENT”

Undertale was like candy for the thematic analysis side of my brain. I still wake up in a cold sweat some nights going “fun value......he put a quantitative value on fun.....numbers going up.....”

I am desperate to know what kind of themes Deltarune is going to tackle. Can you effectively predict that from one (1) 3 hour demo? No. Does my brain care? No.

Which is what lead me to the wonderful world of intertextuality, or examining how a media text is shaped by other media texts

It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this with me doing a playthrough of EarthBound, the video game that Toby has cited as his biggest inspiration for Undertale

That was fun & interesting (the “throwing away an emotionally engaging experience to grimly make Numbers Go Up” thing feels a lot closer to home after trying and failing to get the sword of kings), but it didn’t provide much insight into Deltarune, specifically. It wasn’t enough. I needed more. I was willing to dig into literally any intertext (except Homestuck, which no force on this earth can compel me to read :) )

anyway thats how I ended up playing Toby Fox’s high school fangame

And somehow (sorry Toby) I walked out of there with an unironic theory (a game theory....if you will....): Deltarune is Toby’s adult reexamination of the Halloween Hack.

What is the Halloween Hack?

You know that thing where, like, people take the engine of a Pokemon game and edit it so there’s a new region and a bunch of new fakemon, and also There’s Swears Now

In 2008, Toby Fox entered a contest on an EarthBound fansite for the best Halloween-themed EarthBound hack

In one sense, reducing the Halloween Hack to a “bad romhack with swears” is a little bit of a disservice. There are some glimmers in there of a really affecting, thought-provoking game, and you can see some of the early blueprints of what would later become Undertale (“do video game ‘monsters’ really deserve to die” is a major theme, and the character of Dr. Andonuts was effectively split up into Alpyhs, Asgore, and Sans)

But it’s also. very much a fangame made by a 16-year-old.

You can read a basic summary of the Hack here. High school-age Toby wrote two pretty extensive analyses of his thought process behind the game. I’ll be referring back to them a lot, and I’d highly suggest giving them a read--Toby’s been so famously resistant to making any Word of God statements about Undertale that it’s kind of fascinating to see him being so candid

an extremely long and rambling examination of How This All Relates To Deltarune

The Halloween Hack opens in the town of Halloween Twoson. Twoson is one of the cites in EarthBound, and here it’s been painted orange. and there’s pumpkins now

See, high school Toby had...a bit of a chip on his shoulder. In the Making Of notes, he explains that he was frustrated that “most people generally thought I was just ‘another funny guy’”. So he designed the opening of the game to seem unoriginally close to the original EarthBound--like “a regular, funny, lazy hack”--to lull players into a false sense of security before the horror elements set in.

Two interesting things there:

“Lazily, unoriginally close to the source game” sounds an awful lot like the Dark World segment of Deltarune

Halloween Twoson looks very visually similar to Hometown

Toby’s description of Twoson also sounds pretty Hometown-esque:

The main impressions of Twoson that I wanted to give the player were: It's funny. It's a nice fall day outside. The person hacking this game is ridiculously lazy. It's a nice place to live. If you look at it a little closely, it's kind of claustrophobic.

And when does the horror kick in? When the player descends into the underground tunnels beneath the city.

The “horror” in the Halloween Hack is, however, Pretty Not Good.

There’s a whole lot of the flavor text narrator (put a pin in that one) insisting “this is so scary. you’re so scared. your hands shake and your head throbs because you’re so scared.” There’s also a thing where the battle text keeps going “the shambling zombie BITES your HEAD OFF!!! (you lose 15 hp).”

I think the True Lab sequence in Undertale is a decent demonstration that Toby’s come a long way since then (and that Honey We’ve Got A Storm Coming :’) ). But you know what the Hack’s style of horror reminds me of?

My first thought when I beat the demo and saw this stinger was “this looks like an intentionally shitty creepypasta.” Now I wonder if it’s lowkey adult Toby poking a little fun at teenage Toby

The Halloween Hack is a game about railroading. It’s Spec Ops The Line before there was Spec Ops The Line.

According to Toby:

The main theme of this game is the lack of choice. There is really no choice in this game. From the moment you start to the moment you finish, you're destined to kill Dr. Andonuts. There are two endings, but they both eventually end up the same way. It's all a big joke on the player.

You know why there isn't a choice there? Because you already chose to make Varik go into the door. You already chose to go forward. The only real choice, as Varik realizes at the end of the game, is to stop or keep going. By "stop" he means "turn off the game," and that's all you can do. Anything you play is your own fault for playing, and that's the only real choice you can make.

Interesting? Yeah. A little obnoxious? Also yeah.

That’s one of the criticisms people had of Spec Ops. "The atrocities we commit when we feel like we don’t have a choice” is an intriguing theme, but “~the only way to win is not to play~ [the game I worked hard on for the express purpose of people playing it]” isn’t a very satisfying conclusion.

Undertale, in direct contrast to the Hack, is all about choice. It earns the right to guilt you for the No Mercy Run by giving you every opportunity not to go through with it.

But even Undertale plays a little with the concept of railroading--you can’t stay with Toriel; you can’t spare Asgore in any of the neutral runs; you can’t save Asriel.

Now Deltarune seems to be returning full-on to the Hack’s “your choices don’t matter” premise. But it’s going to need to find something more insightful and satisfying to say about it.

Which makes me really curious about this:

If the Hack has a secondary theme besides railroading/lack of choice, it’s The Soul-Crushing Impact Of Internalized Homophobia.

The tragic antagonist, Dr. Andonuts, destroys his own life trying to repress his gay desire. He retreats into a dream world made of his neuroses and trauma, and he’s inevitably Otherized and murdered by the player. He’s something of a dark version of Alphys, who “disappears” into her lab without ever meeting and getting support from Frisk, Papyrus, and Undyne.

Undertale takes an opposite approach to its lgbt themes--the Underground is a utopia where homophobia and transphobia don’t exist. Everyone respects Frisk’s and Chara’s pronouns. Alphys finds solace and healing in her relationship with Undyne.

It’s a heartwarming growth from the despair in the Halloween Hack. And it’s a vision that’s been deeply meaningful to a lot of people. But that doesn’t mean that there’s no value in exploring issues of homophobia. 16-year-old Toby tried to do that, but...wasn’t exactly at a point where he was equipped to handle it with a ton of sensitivity and nuance.

(There’s. There’s a boss battle where you fight the physical manifestation of Andonuts’ gay repression. It’s a crotch. You fight a crotch.)

Some of the hints in the Deltarune demo, however--the Toriel Has Become Catholic thing; the fact that Alphys and Undyne haven’t met and Mettaton hasn’t been able to transition; the potential trans implications of choosing a name only to have it discarded for an assigned one (“you can’t choose who you are in this world”)--make me suspect that’s one of the themes that Toby will try to revisit from an adult perspective.

The Hack is interested in the idea of the flavor text narrator as a distinct, intelligent entity, whose thoughts and goals don’t always align with those of the player character or the player.

The Hack’s narrator makes a habit of dictating “your” emotions to you (you’re scared; you can sense ‘the monster’ and you want to kill it; etc). The narration starts to seem more and more unreliable, until, as Toby put it, “The narrator starts talking to you personally...rambling about incoherent things.”

At the game’s turning point, you’re given a yes/no choice to kill Dr. Andonuts. Choose yes, and the narrator (mockingly?) calls you a good person, describes the murder you commit, and then narrates what appears to be your (or their? or Varik’s?) psychological breakdown. Choose no, and the narrator tells you that’s not a real choice and redirects you back to the yes/no box. If you press the b-button to try and opt out of the choice (the game’s unofficial subtitle is “Press the B-Button Stupid,” and doing so allows you to follow Andonuts into his dream world), the narrator starts to panic, although the game ultimately ends the same way.

Not to NarraChara Real, but NarraChara Real

The Hack is also interested in the idea of the player character as a possibly-unwilling puppet controlled by the player (who in turn is controlled by the railroading/their need to beat the game).

According to Toby:

As you approach someone you've never met that you're labeling as a monster, your body pushes you forward to kill him. What's funny is that it's not even uncontrolled, it's really just the force of the player's controller pushing that little bounty hunter into murdering Andonuts. You might not realize it, but Varik is almost dead, and yet he can't stop moving because you keep pushing those buttons.

The Halloween Hack is, fundamentally, a nostalgic meditation on an existing game.

It’s a little obvious to say, but the Hack isn’t a standalone game. It’s a hack of EarthBound.

Toby writes:

EarthBound dominated my childhood, shaped my preteen years, and played a large role in molding me into the offbeat pseudohippie I am today. It gave me a sense of humor. It helped me learn how to read. Its lessons served as a basis for my sense of justice and courage.

But at age 16, Toby’s feeling about the game that had shaped him were a little mixed. He describes “the staleness of a fifteen-year-old video game” as one of his motivations for making the Hack.

In Deltarune, he (kind of hilariously) has Alphys parrot his teen-self’s “staleness” line:

(I could write a whole meta just on the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie vs Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 thing)

Still, Toby’s nostalgia for EarthBound is essential to how the Hack operates. Earlier, I said there were glimmers of an thoughtful, affecting game buried in the “bad romhack with swears.” The most genuinely moving moment in the Hack, in my opinion, is the Onett sequence.

You wander though a faded, dream world version of Onett--the hometown from EarthBound--while a slowed down arrangement of the Onett music plays. Snatches of forgotten conversations appear on road signs. Various monsters from EarthBound follow slowly behind you, but don’t attack. The only battles are against creatures called “Remember Me?”

The EarthBound characters appear to recognize “Varik” as Ness, EarthBound’s protagonist--or are they recognizing you, the player, as the same person who played EarthBound once upon a time?

The one problem, of course, is that not everyone has played EarthBound. It’s a relatively niche game. The sense of remembrance and regret and loss in the Onett sequence is universal, but being shaped as a person by the specific video game EarthBound isn’t a universal experience.

But in the years since the Hack, Toby has created something with a wider reach than EarthBound. Something that can evoke that sense of memory and nostalgia in players. A familiar game that he can take apart, rearrange, and examine in an entirely different light.

He made Undertale.

And now he’s rearranging the pieces into Deltarune.

#deltarune #undertale #o and to clarify: i don't think the flavor text thing means that chara's evil #in fact i think deltarune's going to deconstruct that very reading of undertale #which is maybe a whole nother (hopefully much shorter) meta

196 notes · View notes

captainsscarlet · 4 years

Text

All of the Stars - Bucky Barnes x reader

A/N: Hey, it’s ya girl. I wrote this in 5 hours over a discord call with @captainscanadian. I love this so much, it’s definitely the one project I’m most proud of. So enjoy and I promise, I’m not a heartless monster!

Summary: Hey look, it’s a rewrite of Endgame.

Warnings: Angst, tears, death mentions, spoilers for Avengers: Endgame.

Words: 3,674

23 days post Thanos

You were in the kitchen, heavy bags under your eyes from the lack of sleep. Every night, you dreamed of Bucky. There was no escaping it, it was something you had to push through. In your dreams, it jumped from laying in bed and waking up remembering he was gone and dreaming that he was in turmoil somewhere with no one to help him. A cup of coffee sat in front of you, being the only thing that kept you awake. Behind you, Steve had arranged a plate of toast, bacon and eggs, trying to coax you into eating something. These days, mostly you laid in bed with your mp3 player, listening to the playlist you had made for Bucky, filled with songs that reminded him of his life before HYDRA and of you as well.

“C’mon, you gotta eat…Buck wouldn’t wanna see you like this.”

It was the argument they used to get you to get up and try to live nowadays. It wasn’t like they were trying to be hurtful or upset you. But in reality, it did. You didn’t want to think about what Bucky would say right now, or that he would be upset because the truth of the matter was that if he was here, you wouldn’t be like this. You wouldn’t be in an ocean of grief.

These days, you leaned on Thor as much as you could. Most people stayed away, but you and Thor spent every sleepless night on the roof, watching the stars and telling memories about the loved ones who had died. And while Thor blamed himself, you reminded him each time that it wasn’t his fault. That Thanos was the one who killed everyone and not the God of Thunder.

You accepted the plate from Steve and began to pick at the food in front of you, managing to choke down some toast. You were pushing the food around your plate when you saw the light of…something. You looked up at Steve and you both ran outside, seeing a glowing figure…was that a woman? She was holding a ship in her hands and you held your breath. A few moments later, Tony Stark stepped out with Nebula and you let go of the breath you’d been holding, seeing him alive. You hung back while he said something to Steve but had to go back inside when he embraced Pepper.

It stung, and a part of you, some hateful and angry part of you, wished he had died instead of Bucky. It wasn’t kind and it was horrible for you to think that you could be so mean, but it was true. You loved Tony, but you would give him up in a second to have James Barnes back in your arms again. You went and sat back at the counter, pushing the coffee and food away from you and staring into space. The fact was you couldn’t change what had already happened.

---------------------------

You stood next to the new girl, a woman named Carol, as what was left of the Avengers discussed what had happened in the 23 days since that day. She chuckled slightly at Tony’s banter with Rocket but when Tony started getting upset, you stopped at stood up straighter. When he started yelling at Steve, you lost it and walked between them.

“You think you’re the only person who lost someone, Stark? We all lost someone! All of us! We could point the blame at any one of us. Hell, let’s look at you. If you hadn’t driven Bucky out of the states, if you hadn’t started a god damned war, I would have had time. I could have held him every night. But instead, I get memories of a year ago, when he was on the run. When you tried to kill him. Sure, there are some happy ones, but that is the main memory, Tony. We all are to blame.”

You didn’t stick around to hear his reaction. You went straight to your room and cried. You cried for Thor who lost his brother and his entire planet. You cried for Rocket, who lost his friends, the only family he ever had. You cried for every single person on the compound, including yourself. And it didn’t stop until late into the night, when your tears had run dry and you were too exhausted.

5 Years Later

You slammed your hand over the nightstand next to your bed, trying repeatedly to hit snooze but to no avail. Instead, you had to haul yourself up to do so, and by that time, you were already well awake. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you began your morning routine. Bathroom, clothes, coffee, food, and then off to work. Ever since ‘the snap’ as people were calling it, you’d been working with Steve on his support group. It had helped you through the past 5 years, and even helped you now. You try to keep things light and go with the flow, but somedays, it’s as if all of this happened yesterday and you lay in bed, crying, wrapped up in his clothes and holding the letters he wrote you from Wakanda.

But today was a good day. So you went out the door and walked to the building where the meetings were held. You unlocked the door and set yourself to work. Brewing coffee was saved for last, but you liked to clean before everyone got there. You set up chairs and tried to at least make the room somewhat cheerful. You had put on the stereo to a soft rock station while you worked and then set up your laptop and started answering emails. A lot of grieving people simply emailed instead of coming to meetings, whether they couldn’t leave home or they just wanted to remain anonymous and you and Steve tried to answer as often as you could. It hurt that you couldn’t answer them all, but you liked knowing that you could help soothe some people’s pain. You heard the door open and looked up from your computer, giving a small smile to the blonde man who’d walked in.

“Hey Steve. Just finishing up some emails and then I was gonna head down to the store and get something for meeting tonight. Anything in particular you want?” Your head went back down to typing as Steve walked toward you and put a hand on your back.

“Whatever you pick is fine. How you holding up? Nat said she hasn’t spoken to you since last week after group.”

You knew they worried about her. You lost contact with a lot of people after the snap. Tony cut you off completely, although Pepper emailed you pictures of their daughter. You’d been to New Asgard to visit Thor once or twice, but he told you not to come back. Whether it was because you reminded him of his failure or just because he’d rather be depressed and alone, you didn’t know. But you made sure the Valkyrie kept you in the loop, making sure he was at least alive. Nat and Steve were your only friends now and while you loved them, they could be very overbearing at times.

“I’m doing okay. I uh, I’ve been redoing my apartment. New paint, new rug, all that stuff.” Your fingers moved across the keyboard, your eyes not even looking up from the screen. “I know you guys are scared I’m gonna breakdown but honestly, Rogers, I’m fine. I’m trying to move on.”

Steve looked down at you and gave a soft smile before patting you on the back and going to get chairs to set up. “Can you grab more water and maybe some MnM’s?” You chuckled and gave him a thumbs up before settling back in and finishing up emails.

About an hour later, you headed to the store, music blaring in your ears as you walked, until a song made you stop in your tracks. It was one of the songs that Bucky had heard and insisted on putting on your phone. You remembered the memory so clearly.

You had been laughing and swatting at Bucky, screeching as he pinned you underneath him and began assaulting you with kisses. Bucky had started opening up a bit more and ever since, you had the time of your life. He kissed you more and wasn’t afraid to hold you, it was amazing. Your laptop had been playing some youtube playlist of old music, trying to compile a playlist for Steve of songs he might like to listen to while on the way to different missions. All songs from the 60’s and later. When the song ‘It’s Been a Long, Long Time” by Harry, James and Helen Forrest came on, Bucky stopped and listened before standing and a ghost of a smile was on his face.

“What you thinkin’ about, Bucky?” You focused on his face before it turned to face you and he held out his hands.

“This reminds me of home. Back then, I mean. Sounds like some of the stuff we would have played back then.”

You stood up and took his hands in yours, placing one on your waist before putting your own on his shoulder and swaying gently. When a woman’s voice started to croon over the speaker, you hummed along, feeling Bucky rest his head against your own. And for a moment, you wished that you were in a snow globe. That this moment would never end and just go on forever.

You felt tears rolling down your face and quickly swiped them away. It was the one song that you refused to delete. But you always skipped it when it came on shuffle, simply for the fact it made you cry every single time. You leaned against a nearby wall and just listened, holding back every feeling until the 3 minutes concluded. You had to compose yourself. If anyone at group and especially Steve, saw your tears, they’d know that you’d been lying and that in truth, you hadn’t moved on.

After a brief time of just standing there, you took a deep breath and began again toward the store. You grabbed a case of water, enough MnM’s to feed a small army, or just one super soldier, and a medium sized platter of cookies. You paid and began your way back to the center, this time with no issues. A quick set up and a couple pots of coffee later, people started showing up. You hugged and greeted each person by name and allowed everyone some time to talk before you and Steve brought everyone to the circle and started the meeting.

“Anyone wanna start?” Steve asked, looking around. You waited about a minute before you began to speak.

“I uh…I went to the store and got water today, and our song came on.” You kept a practiced, even tone, not letting your emotion show through. “I think we all try to ignore those little signs that they’re gone…but you can’t. Because it means pretending they never existed…I think we just have to push on.”

Steve turned to you and reached over, taking your hand and squeezing. “You’re right. We gotta move on. The world is in our hands, it was left to us, guys. We gotta do something with it. Otherwise, Thanos should have killed all of us.”

---------------------------------------

You and Steve walked into the compound, you threw your bag on the table and walked into where Nat was, sweeping past Steve and heading straight for Nat, wrapping her in a hug. “I heard you were trying to get ahold of me, even though I’m pretty sure I’m old enough to watch out for myself.” You teased, grabbing a piece of Natasha’s PB and J sandwich and taking a bite. The redhead smiled up at you and held your other hand, before you both turned to look at Steve.

“You know, I keep telling everybody that they should move on and grow. Some do, but not us.” You moved your eyes back to Nat and squeezed her hand. You sometimes forgot how much Natasha was hurting, since she rarely showed that part of her to anyone. But she had lost the only family she’d ever known. Laura, the kids, Clint…even though he wasn’t dead, he still wasn’t here and that part was hard on Nat.

“If I move on, who does this?”

“Maybe it doesn’t need to be done.” The look in both of your friend’s eyes were sad and as Nat began to speak, you felt your own eyes water up. You moved to stand behind her and lean down, wrapping your arms around her chest in an attempt to comfort her. Soon after she was finished, you heard a beep on the security camera and your jaw dropped.

“Scott?” The man was speaking about a mile a minute and you knew exactly who he was. You’d met him before the boys went to the airport, and instantly liked him. And as soon as Nat confirmed that he was actually there, you actually had some hope.

----------------------------------------

The wave of guilt you felt as you got out of the car weighed on you. Sure, you and Tony had fought before but this time it wasn’t something trivial or unimportant. You had blamed him for Bucky dying and there wasn’t really a way to come back from that. Pepper had forgiven you, understanding your grief and letting you slide. But seeing Morgan and Tony, brought back just how selfish you had been and you hung your head in shame. Instead of talking shop with the boys, you headed inside and chatted with Pepper, even playing a little with Morgan before Pepper sent her out to save Tony from the others.

“Thanks Pepper…for letting us come here. I uh, I’m glad you and Tony got your happy ending.”

Pepper wrapped her arms around you and shook her head. “Stop blaming yourself. It’s been five years, y/n. You need to stop letting this get to you.”

You smiled and pressed a kiss to Pepper’s cheek as you saw them getting up to go. “I’m really happy for you Pepper.” As you walked toward the door, you waved goodbye to Morgan and looked up at Tony. “I’m happy for you too, Tony.” He turned and called your name but you just kept walking, following Steve to the car and climbing in the back beside Scott.

----------------------------------------

As you made your way to New Asgard, all the nerves you had pushed away came back. You hadn’t see Thor in years. And where you once were his friend and the person whose shoulder he cried on, you now were scared to face him. What if you reminded him of the bad things and pushed him into a depressive episode? You felt so much guilt for all the people you may have hurt when the Snap was fresh.

When Val looked toward the stack of empty beer kegs, you looked at her and your face dropped. He wasn’t just depressed; he was numbing the pain with alcohol. And while Bruce and Rocket may not understand, you did. You understood just how much Thor felt and what was weighing on his mind and heart.

When you knocked on the door, you didn’t expect an answer. Even so, you let Rocket try and when you ended up in the house, you couldn’t help but look around and want to cry. You knew Thor had to be in a bad place to live like this and it hurt for you to see it, but Steve had said you would do some good to see your old friend again, and you had hesitantly agreed.

When you came face to face with the God of Thunder, you expected a lot of things. Maybe to be thrown out, maybe a kiss on the cheek or even to be ignored. You did not expect to see him shirtless with a beer belly and his long blonde hair knotted and greasy. You tried to smile, truly you did, but it surely came out as more than a grimace and when Thor wrapped his arms around you, you had to hold your breath. But in all the bad, you were just happy to see him again, in any form. And now in his arms, it almost felt like it had 5 years ago, but a lot softer.

When he let you go, and Bruce mentioned Thanos, you saw the reaction. The tears, the wetness in his voice. And the fake strength in his voice as he tried to kick them out nearly broke you. But he came with you, for the beer of course. But as he was buckling himself on the ship, you reached out and took his hand.

“I missed you, Thor.”

His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it was something and at that moment, it was the most important thing in the world. Because he was still the person she saw five years before, whether or not he knew it.

-----------------------------------

During the ‘time heist’, you stayed with Pepper and Morgan. You played games near the lake with the smallest Stark and when Pepper jetted off in the suit Tony made for her and Happy appeared instead, you knew it was the end. The question was, had they done what needed doing. God, you hoped so. When Clint had come by, and told you about Nat, it killed you. The scream that came from you, it was loud and guttural. Hadn’t you lost enough already? Had you not been through enough than to lose your best friend?

You laid on the couch with Morgan, watching one of the home videos Tony had made throughout Morgan’s childhood when you heard a commotion outside. You pressed a finger to your lips and you and Happy both went to investigate. When you saw an injured Tony, you ran toward him, as he was supported by Steve and Pepper. “Did we… Did we win?” you asked, out of breath and looking to Steve for an answer. You got a nod and fell to your knees, tears flowing from your eyes as the reality hit. Clint tapped you on the shoulder a moment later and your eyes flew up to meet his.

“By the lake. We’ll patch Tony up but you should go down to the lake.”

You nodded, and began your way there but when you looked up, your breath caught in your throat. There, back facing you, stood James Buchanan Barnes, in all his glory. For 5 years you had prayed that you would hold him again. But this time, it wasn’t a dream. He was real and he was here. You wanted to fall to your knees again and thank god or whoever had made this possible.

But instead, you ran.

Your feet grew wings and you ran toward him with a simple scream of ‘Bucky!’ echoing in the trees. He turned and caught you in his arms as your arms and legs wrapped around him, completely enveloping him in your embrace. His own hands found their place on your body, holding you tight to him and pressing his face into your neck. You couldn’t stop crying, all you could do was hold him. Because he was real, and he was here.

---------------------------------------

The table was set. Well, tables. Many laughing and smiling faces seated and there you were in the middle of it, making silly faces at Peter and Morgan from across the table. That was until you heard footsteps and you all stood, clapping as Tony sauntered in.

It had been a couple of months since the battle. A month since Thanos had been gone. Tony had almost lost his life fighting him, almost lost the little life he had for himself here. But he fought and with Bruce working on him, he was a force to be reckoned with.

“Thank you, thank you everyone. Very happy to be back.” Everyone sat back down and you slipped your hand into Bucky’s, leaning against him as you both watched Tony. “I just wanna thank each of you, because, well honestly, if it weren’t for you, we would have lost and all this would be…nothing.” He gestured to everything around him. Dinner continued on, everyone passing things around and telling stories to those who hadn’t been around or just chatting.

You stood up, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and excusing yourself, before going outside and settling yourself on the railing of the porch, looking out onto the lake. It was funny, how these things happened. You were sure that Bucky never imagined Tony as his next door neighbor but from where you sat on your porch, across the lake, you could see Tony’s house, just a short boat ride away.

While Bucky didn’t wanna stop fighting, he wanted a place where his family could be safe. So in the middle of the woods, they built their dream house, complete with your grandmother’s vintage record player sitting in the living room.

You felt a hand touch your shoulder and when you turned, you were shocked to see it was Tony.

“Hey kiddo. Nice place. Not as nice as mine, but you definitely could have done worse.” You chuckled and leaning into the man. Ever since his near death experience, you had talked. Long nights of discussing and thankfully, he forgave her. He understood, what you had said back then, and why you had felt that way. He was just so concerned and grieving and upset that he couldn’t handle any other person’s feelings at that moment.

“Thanks Tony.” You smiled before swinging yourself off the railing and pulling him back inside. “C’mon Iron Man, you got a party to get back to.” You pushed him back inside and leaned against the door frame, watching your family all play and laugh with each other.

A pretty perfect picture. And it was all yours.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #marvel x reader #thor x reader friendship #tony x reader friendship #endgame rewrite

7 notes · View notes

hamletandthegang · 4 years

Text

France- Part 6

Again, this fic is a little on the heavy side! If things like hospitals and panic attacks are triggering to you, please consider skipping this one! Stay safe kiddos <3

The blaring white light bounced off the glistening stone path. Maggie held her phone up as she walked quietly down the edge of the sewer. She turned sharply when she heard a loud creaking noise behind her, but it echoed around the dim cavern and disappeared quickly. Maggs turned back to the path ahead of her, and shone her phone flashlight back on the path.

The sewers are not a pleasant place. Maggs had pulled her pair of old galoshes from her bag, and descended back into the place where she had spent a good amount of her time in the past many years: the sewer systems of Europe- highly convenient for one wishing not to be found.

Maggie held her phone up, and squinted as she tried to make out the passage further down the tunnel. She was looking for her landmark, because no matter how well you knew the entricit tunnel system, it was almost impossible to navigate.

She stopped and brushed her hand on the wall. It was in this general area, she just had to find it. Her hand hit the brick sticking out of the wall, flashed a crooked grin, and pushed down with her fist on the oddly placed brick. After a loud ka-CHUNK, the brick tumbled out of the wall, and she was able to reach the latch inside. She turned it, with some struggle, and the wall fell away to reveal the small passage behind it. Maggie crept inside, turned the latch on the inside, and the wall returned to its original state. Maggie then turned and crawled down into the space, and set off. She would soon be underneath the palace itself.

~~~

Ophelia sat across from Hamlet. They had been sitting right outside the room where Horatio was for over half an hour, waiting for the others to get back from shopping for essentials at the mall across the street. They didn’t know when it would be safe to go back to the castle, or if it would be at all.

Hamlet was hunched over with his head in his hands. He hadn’t moved much from that spot ever since the doctors had booted him out of the room. Ophelia was trying to find a good way to start a conversation, but words seemed to stick in her throat.

Hamlet sighed and rubbed his eyes, the first time Ophelia had seen him breathe in a while. She wanted to kiss him and slap him at the same time, so she decided it would be best to do neither.

She cleared her throat quietly, then spoke, “So,” Her mind immediately went blank. “Um, that- that was a crazy couple of days, huh?” Hamlet made a soft grunting noise. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Ophelia added softly.

After a long pause, Hamlet said, “I guess,”

“Okay,” Ophelia said, and they sat in silence.

It seemed like silence was the most therapeutic thing possible at this point. One of their friends was dead, two were in the hospital, one of whom was a wanted criminal. Hopefully, they could talk to the king and have him repeal the order, but home seemed so far away.

“I found him lying in the bathtub at this hotel,” Hamlet said, almost whispering. “He was- he was so broken. I- I didn’t know what to do, so I just let him cry on me, and we just kinda sat there for a few hours.” Ophelia looked at him with wide eyes. He hadn’t moved from his hunched over position. “Then I met Maggie,” Hamlet hesitated. Ophelia frowned. He’d met another girl? “And she said she’d help us get home, because I don’t really know Paris very well, so we said ‘okay’ and followed her to the train, and there was the explosion, and then he had a breakdown on the floor of the train, and then we got on the bullet train, and-” Hamlet stopped abruptly. “And I couldn’t protect him.”

Ophelia stood and sat down on the chair next to him. Hamlet peeked through his hands at her, and she put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Hamlet slowly sat up, and looked at Ophelia. He settled his head on her shoulder, and she hugged him. Hamlet sniffed, and Ophelia started rubbing his back. A quiet tear trailed down his face.

“Baby, there was nothing you could’ve-”

“No,” Hamlet said firmly. “I could’ve gotten him home by myself, I shouldn’t have taken her help! I could’ve lost her at the train station, I could’ve- I could’ve run faster! I could have taken the bullet, and then he wouldn’t have to be half dead right now! Ophelia, this is my fault!”

“No, it’s not!” She shouted. She looked at Hamlet’s desperate face, and her voice dropped. “Look, you couldn’t have predicted what that girl would do. You couldn’t predict Horatio going missing, or Notre Dame burning down, or any of it! You simply acted in the manner that the situation called for at the time. And that’s all you can really do.”

Her words seemed to calm him down a bit, and he leaned back again. “If he dies-”

Ophelia cut him off, “He won’t die.” She shut her eyes, and took a deep breath. Hamlet was staring at her. He seemed to wake up from whatever state of shock he was in, and gently wrapped his arms around her. She reciprocated, and they sat together for a few minutes. There was an odd silence in the hall of the white walled hospital. While one could hear a pin drop, there was also the constant humming and beeping that echoed around the hall.

Hamlet breathed into Ophelia’s shirt, the one that Anna had lent her. “You know what I wanna do?” He asked, and Ophelia glanced at his face.

“Hmm?”

“I wanna go back to college. I want to get everyone out of the hospital, and go to college. Fuck whatever my uncle wants me to do.”

“That sounds so great,” Ophelia mused. “I could finally have a moment of peace away from my dad,” She added, chuckling. “We should wait until Anna’s court hearing is over and done so she could come too.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

“Do you think we could all get a dorm together?”

“If anything I’ll get my mom to rent an apartment or two.”

Ophelia sighed, thinking fondly back to her many months studying and reading. The college was fairly small and private, and Hamlet had gotten them all in on an almost completely free ride. He loved to mooch off his uncle.

Ophelia opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment, a nurse slid open the door to Horatio’s room, and told them that they could see him if they wanted. They both stood up immediately and walked in the room, and the nurse shut the door as she left.

Hamlet shivered as a chill raced down his spine. The atmosphere in the room was cold at best. Horatio was extremely pale, and was lying unconscious on the white bed sheets. Hamlet dropped to his knees next to the bed, and took Horatio’s hand. Ophelia sucked in a breath when she walked in. She quickly walked over to where Hamlet was kneeling, and put a hand on his shoulder.

The anesthetic they had put him on was set to wear off soon, but there was no knowing when he would wake up. Hamlet and Ophelia stayed there for a few minutes, and then he glanced up at her. They stood up and sat down on the bench near the bed, and leaned up against the cold wall.

“How did this happen?” Hamlet said softly. “Like, a year ago my dad was still alive and we were in England hanging out at that little park.”

“I miss the park,” Ophelia whispered. “It’s so run down, but I love it there,” She laughed. Hamlet and her had gone on one of their first dates there. Polonius hadn’t let them go out together while they were still in Denmark. He still didn’t approve, but they found ways to sneak out together.

“We’ll go back once all this dies down a bit,” Hamlet said, looking her in the eyes. She nodded, and it became quiet again.

“I miss Ben.”

“Me too,” Hamlet said. “I’m going to kill whoever actually started that fire.”

“They’re saying that he did,” Ophelia glanced over at Horatio.

“Yeah, he does too.”

Ophelia looked back at Hamlet, “What?”

“Yeah, whatever happened in France messed him up a little bit up there,” Hamlet pointed to his head. “I know he didn’t. He would never do that.”

“Fuck,” Ophelia breathed, and leaned back on the wall, putting her hand on her face. She hadn’t thought about the mental repercussions this whole thing would have on Hamlet and Horatio. She didn’t even realize the repercussions it would have on her own mind.

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes longer, listening to the beep of the heart monitor near them.

Ophelia looked up at Horatio, only to realize that his eyes were open. He was staring up at the ceiling. She brushed Hamlet’s arm, and stood up slowly.

“Horatio?” she asked softly.

His head turned, and his once clear blue eyes met hers. They were more dull and gray than she had remembered.

Hamlet stood up quickly, and took Horatio’s hand.

“How do you feel?” he asked hurriedly.

“Stiff,” was Horatio’s reply. “I’m not- I’m not dead?” He looked at them with a slightly confused look on his face.

“No,” Ophelia said, her voice laced with concern. “Why would you be dead?”

“Oh,” Horatio said, and then absentmindedly stared out the small window in the door.

Ophelia looked at Hamlet, and he quickly said in her ear, “He’s still under a lot of pain meds, don’t freak out.” Ophelia nodded.

Hamlet sat down on the edge of the bed, and the motion drew Horatio’s eyes back to him. A strange look crossed his face, and he said, “I’m hungry.”

Hamlet said quietly, “Sorry bro, they said you can’t have any food or water for a bit. We’ll get you food soon though, okay?”

Horatio stared at him, then went back to his absentminded look out the window of the door. “Do you see it? Do you see it too?” He said, barely audible.

Ophelia and Hamlet both turned to look at where he was staring, but it was nothing but the door.

“See what?” Ophelia asked. “Horatio, what do you see?”

“The fire,” he answered.

Hamlet looked at Ophelia, who looked like she was about to break down again. He wrapped an arm around her in a tight hug, then suggested that she take a breath outside. She nodded shakily, and shut the door behind her.

~~~

Ophelia had walked all the way outside the cold hospital, and was sitting on one of the iron benches next to a tree. She was trying to stop herself from shaking, but she wanted to break down and cry. She was trying so hard to be there for Hamlet and Horatio and everyone else, but she was exhausted.

What Horatio had said had scared her. She knew that the meds hadn’t worn off, but still. He was still seeing the fire. He thought he had died. That wasn’t normal, was it?

She opened her phone, and swiped to Annalise’s contact. She tapped on it, and waited for her to pick up.

“Hey, what’s up?” She said.

“Hey, just wanted to let you guys know, Horatio woke up.”

“Really? Should we come back?”

“Uh, well right now Hamlet’s talking to him, and honestly, it might be best to just give them some space for a bit. He’s not in a great place right now.”

“Is he okay?” Anna asked.

“Yeah, he’s fine. It’s just that the drugs they put him on are making him a little… strange.”

“Oh, okay. Do you maybe wanna join us at the mall? It’s actually pretty nice, and you’ve been at the hospital for a while now.”

Ophelia hesitated. “Yeah, that sounds great, actually. Lemme check with Hamlet and make sure he doesn’t need me, but yeah.”

“Okay! I can come pick you up. The boys are getting us those cinnamon pretzels, want some?”

“Yeah, I love those,” Ophelia answered. “I haven’t had those in forever.”

“Okay! See ya in a bit!” And she hung up.

Ophelia texted Hamlet, and he said that it was fine, he’d stay with Horatio for a while.

~~~

“Did I scare her?” Horatio said, after Ophelia had left the room.

“No, you’re fine, she’s just been really stressed about all this.” Hamlet smiled at him reassuringly.

“Okay,”

Hamlet sat back down on the bed. “So, uh, how’re you feeling?”

“Fuzzy,” He mumbled.

“Yeah, that’ll wear off soon,”

Horatio shifted, and tried to sit up in the bed. A pained expression crossed his face, and he looked down confusedly at the bandages around his stomach.

“Is that..?”

“Yeah.”

“They’re itchy,” He noted.

“I know. Don’t mess with them, okay?”

“Okay,” Horatio said with a small voice.

“Do you still see the fire out there?” Hamlet said after a brief hesitation.

“No, it went away.”

“That’s good. It’s not here anymore. You’re safe.”

Horatio looked at Hamlet, and the edge of his mouth pulled up a little bit. “Yeah, it’s gone.”

Hamlet smiled back, but even he knew that it wasn’t genuine. He took in a deep breath. “What happened in the cathedral?” He didn’t want to upset Horatio, but he wanted to know.

Horatio looked at Hamlet with an unsettling blank expression, and after a few moments, started talking. “Laertes said to stay there and look for the spies. I sat there and looked around, and then the people started screaming, and the fire made things start falling from the ceiling. I tried to get out, but I got trapped in the center of the church. Then I found Marc. I tried to get him to leave with me, but he wouldn’t until he found Ben. I would have been crushed if I had stayed any longer, and Marc ran off into the fire.” Emotion dripped into his voice the longer he spoke. “I ran outside, and a big part of the church collapsed. Laertes said…” Horatio trailed off, and a troubled expression crossed his face. He couldn’t remember. “...something. He said something and I got scared and ran away from the cathedral. A group of people saw me on the news and started following me, so I hid under the steps of the underground walkway, and waited for them to leave. Then I found Maggie.” He stiffened when he said her name. He stopped talking, but something dawned on him.

“Hamlet, where are Ben and Marc?”

~~~

Annalise stopped in front of where Ophelia was sitting and honked the horn. She smiled and got in.

“Thanks, I need to get out of here for a little while,” She said as she buckled her seatbelt.

“Yeah, no problem. So, Horatio woke up?” Annalise asked. Her dark hair was bundled up in two buns on the top of her head.

Ophelia nodded. “He was saying stuff about how he thought he had died, and then said he could still see the fire. I got kinda freaked out, and Hamlet suggested I take a few minutes outside while he talked to him.”

“Okay,” Annalise thought for a moment. “Well, I left the guys at the pretzel stand so we’ll meet up with them and hang out for a while. It’s really nice to just kinda pretend that everything’s fine and just be a group of teenagers at the mall.” Annalise laughed.

“Yeah,” Ophelia giggled. “Marc was still sleeping when I left,” she noted. Marc had been sleeping a lot, so they couldn’t talk to him much. Even when he was awake, he didn’t want to talk to anyone. He wasn’t doing well with the news about Ben. None of them were. They were all pretending that it hadn’t happened. Until the funeral could be held, there wasn’t anything they could do. Nothing about it seemed real, and reality hadn’t sunk in yet.

They arrived and parked the van. Anna linked arms with Ophelia and steered her towards the pretzel stand, and they saw Rosencrantz and Guildenstern sitting on a bench, with Rosencrantz draping his legs over Guildenstern’s. Guildenstern was tapping on his phone, and looked up when Annalise said hello and started playing with his hair.

Ophelia sat down next to Rosencrantz, and he gave her a small paper cup full of small round pretzels covered with cinnamon.

“Wow, I haven’t had these since I was a little kid. My mom took me to the mall and we would get these for lunch.” Ophelia said as she stuffed one in her mouth.

“I got a red slushie,” Rosencrantz said gleefully, holding up the cup he was drinking from.

“So Horatio woke up?” Guildenstern asked Ophelia.

“Yeah, he’s really out of it because of the pain meds, so Hamlet’s talking to him and trying to get him back to his senses.”

“Do you think he knows about Ben yet?” Rosencrantz asked softly, then seemed surprised when Ophelia answered, as though he thought he hadn’t said it out loud.

“I don’t think so. Hamlet said that he thinks that the whole thing is his fault, so it might be best if he doesn’t know.”

“Why would it be his fault?” Guildenstern asked. “He’d never hurt anybody.”

“I know, but-” Ophelia hesitated, trying to gather her thoughts. “Something happened to him while he was over there.”

“Other than-”

“Yes, other than him being shot,” Ophelia cut Rosencrantz off. “Like, mentally. I think he’s got a lot of trauma from whatever happened in the cathedral. And, yeah he’s not in a good place right now.”

“Oh,” Guildenstern said. He stared blankly at the crowd of people milling around. After a few moments of quiet, he said. “I’m going to dye my hair.”

Ophelia looked at him and smiled, “Okay? What color? Why?”

“That’s just how I deal with things. This is the first time in a while that I’ve actually had normal colored hair. I’m gonna dye my hair.”

“It’s true,” Rosencrantz laughed. “A couple years ago he dyed it almost every month.”

“Yeah, well, I was going through hell,” Guildenstern laughed. “We’re going through hell again, and I’m gonna dye it.”

“Alright, do you wanna go get some colors?” Anna said excitedly. She loved helping people with hair. She was the one who’d given Guildenstern his first short haircut after he’d gotten away from his family. “I think there’s a shop down that way with hair stuff,” She said, gesturing further off around the corner.

“Absolutely, Anna you’re the best,” he said, pushing Rosencrantz’ legs off of him and standing up. He picked up his cup of pretzels and started to walk off with Anna.

“I thought you were the impulsive one,” Ophelia said to Rosencrantz, laughing.

“You’d be surprised,” he answered, and they stood up and followed them.

~~~

Ophelia and Annalise rushed in the door, with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern behind them.

“What’s wrong?!” Ophelia shouted, and stopped to catch her breath.

“It’s Horatio, I- I had to tell him!” Hamlet stuttered, looking bewildered at her.

“Tell him what?!” She yelled, and rushed to Horatio’s side. He was openly sobbing, and curled up on the side of his bed. Ophelia kneeled down, put a hand on his shoulder, and started trying to calm him down.

“About Ben!” Hamlet said. All four of them looked at him, and he shrank back into the bench.

“I think he’s having an extreme panic attack or something,” Ophelia said, ignoring Hamlet, and slowly stroking Horatio’s messy hair. He refused to look up, and stayed crumpled in on himself. He was hyperventilating and covered in sweat.

Hamlet had called her a few minutes after they had finished in the salon, and they had driven over as fast as they could.

Annalise walked over to the bed, and sat on it. She put her knees to her chest, and scooted back to be next to him on the bed. She tapped him on the shoulder, and whispered if she could touch him. He slowly nodded after a moment, and she curled up next to him with her arms around him. He continued shaking and sobbing, but after a moment, looked over at her.

“Hey, it’s me. Annalise. I’m here. You’re not there anymore, you’re at the hospital. You are safe.” Anna spoke calmly and softly. “Take a deep breath, please?”

“I can’t,” he answered groggily.

“Okay, that’s fine. Here, breathe with me,” She said, and started breathing deeply and holding Horatio’s hands. He turned, and began to copy her pattern of breath. After a few moments, he started to calm back down.

“Do you want to talk about it yet?” she asked. Horatio shook his head slightly. “Okay, we’ll just stay like this.”

Annalise motioned to Ophelia to get the guys to leave, and she took Hamlet’s hand and moved him to the chairs outside. Rosencrantz followed him, but Guildenstern stayed behind.

“Hey, can I try something?” he asked Anna, and she nodded. He sat down on the center of the bed in front of them, and put his hand on Horatio’s knee.

“Breathe in for four seconds,” He said softly. Horatio complied. “Hold it for seven seconds, and now release for eight seconds.” Horatio looked at him as he let out the breath, and Guildenstern smiled. “In for four, hold it for seven, out for eight,” He continued the pattern, and soon Horatio had completely de-escalated.

Ophelia was watching from the bench by the bed. Annalise was still holding his hand, and, after he seemed to be more stable, asked, “Horatio, are you okay now?”

Horatio looked at her, “Yeah, thanks.”

“It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed,” Guildenstern said. “I have a lot of experience with panic attacks and stuff, that’s one of the things I picked up over the years. I don’t remember who taught that to me, but it always seems to work.”

Horatio nodded. After a few moments, he said, “I’m a murderer.”

“You’re not,” Annalise said. “You could never have predicted what happened-”

“But it’s my fault!” He shouted.

Guildenstern shifted. “Hey, look at me,�� Horatio looked at him, “How did you get to France?”

Horatio frowned, “I don’t know.”

“How did you start the fire?”

“I- I can’t remember.”

“Did you realize that the fire was there before everyone started freaking out?”

“No.”

“Well then, how is it your fault?” Guildenstern looked him right in the eyes.

“I should’ve told them to get out! I saw them, but I didn’t say anything until it was too late!” Horatio said.

“You didn’t know what was going to happen. And you didn’t start the fire. Someone else did. If you had said something, you might have put yourself in danger, because of Laertes, right?”

“Yeah...”

“Then it’s not your fault.”

Horatio looked down. “I still feel guilty.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. We’re all going to have to get through this together, and try to move on as best as we can. That’s really all you can ask of yourself.” Guildenstern smiled sadly. “But you need to forgive yourself, and it’s okay if it doesn’t happen today. Or anytime soon. But you need to. Right now though, you need to give yourself time to rest. Taking a bullet to the stomach doesn’t heal overnight. The doc said you have to stay about a week and a half. They said Marc could be released after a few days. We’ll take you both home soon and hang at the castle a while. We also have to sort out that whole thing with the police. They want you back in Denmark, and I’m sure we’ll get to see a wonderful screaming match between Hamlet and his uncle.” Guildenstern laughed, as did Ophelia. Horatio smiled. They had seen too many of those.

2 notes · View notes

cakesunflower · 5 years

Text

Reach For You [Dad!Calum AU] Ch. 9

Chapter 9

IF HE CAUGHT a glimpse of himself in the reflection of his drink, Calum would’ve thrown it against the damn wall. It was reminiscent of a few months ago, when he first found out about Luna and had a bit of a breakdown in his apartment, a glass already falling victim to his frustration once before. There was a point in his life, years ago, when Calum thought the most painful heartache he’d experienced was when Aspen left him. Then he thought nothing could beat the raging betrayal he’d felt when he found out he had a daughter. But now, with a truth so heavy and unbelievable and destructive ruling over his head, Calum couldn’t fucking think.

He didn’t want to. Not when he knew his thoughts would be consumed by what Aspen told him, not when he would be forced to think of the one woman he held on a pedestal in a way he never thought imaginable.

Calum’s head fucking hurt. Too much had gone on in the past day, his mind a convoluted mess of thoughts he couldn’t seem to weave his way through. He’d slept with Aspen. He’d let himself give into the primal desire that he hadn’t known was bubbling until the moment he let it all out, let himself get lost in her in the intimate way he hadn’t been aware he was craving. And then. . . Then she came clean. She told him, everything, and as much as Calum had wanted to know the truth, now he wished he hadn’t heard a single thing. How was he supposed to believe it? How was he supposed to accept the truth?

He’d called his mother, right when he got in the car after leaving Aspen’s apartment, with shaky fingers and an unsteady breath. When he heard his mother speak, greeting him happily, Calum’s eyes screwed shut and forehead rested against the steering wheel, jaw clenching shut tightly as he willed himself to sound perfectly normal. As if everything was okay. As if he wasn’t just told his mother was the reason he never knew he had a daughter.

But he managed to. He stayed sane, stayed steady, as he persuaded his mother to come out to New York with his dad to visit him. A conversation needed to be had and it needed to be done in person. Calum spewed some bullshit about wanting them to see the New York club and felt a prickle of satisfaction when his mum said they’d take the next flight out.

Though, nothing could replace the bitter, agonizing pain that poisoned his blood as Aspen’s words echoed in his head on a loop. So much needed to be done, to be said, to be decided, and Calum felt dizzy from trying to figure everything out. Sleeping with Aspen would change things, wouldn’t it? It’s not something they can take back or ignore. Things were already teetering on a fine line between them, and this just threw them off whatever balance they may have had.

Fuck, Calum didn’t even know how to feel about her, about what they did. Not when he could feel himself spiraling, drinking down to the bottom of the bottle of whiskey as he thought of his mother’s actions. Of Aspen’s actions. Was it true? Did he believe it? If it was, did he still blame Aspen? Could he put himself in her shoes and try to understand?

Calum’s grip on the glass tightened. But instead of shattering it against the wall, he emptied the rest of the whiskey into it and drank.

He was numb to the burn of the alcohol. Unfortunately for him, he was nowhere near being numb to the anguish from his circumstances.

*****

There was only one thing keeping Calum’s heart from racing, and that was Duke. His dog was thrilled to see Calum after months of being separated, his paws clattering on the floor of Calum’s apartment as he jumped around excitedly, and Calum felt a sense of comfort from the little dog as he pet him and let Duke lick at him. It was all that could maintain the calm facade Calum was sporting, his smiles genuine at the dog but somehow still forced, disappearing altogether when he heard the thick clacks of heels approaching from the hallway.

“Your father once again apologizes for not being able to make it,” his mum’s voice sounded, prompting Calum to stand up straight as Duke circled his feet. “He sends his love.”

Calum cleared his throat, feeling it tighten at his mother’s presence as he wiped at his nose with his thumb. “’S alright,” he responded, voice slightly hoarse, facing his mother. She stood there, still in her airport clothes, walking over to the bar in the living room to pour herself a drink. She was staying at a hotel after Calum conjured some excuse of a plumbing leak that was being fixed, not wanting her to stumble upon the many items in his apartment that showed Luna’s existence, including her bedroom. He wanted his mother to find out on his own terms.

He just needed to man the fuck up and do it.

“I need to talk to you ’bout something.” The words were slipping from Calum’s mouth at that thought, Adam’s apple working as his mother made her way over to him, settling down on the plush couch.

The dry tightness in his throat wasn’t going anywhere, lodged in the middle and taking great effort to push out words Calum needed to say. He knew, the moment he brought this up to his mother, the moment he questioned her about her grand interference in his life, it would all become a reality. Sleep had not come to him since the moment Aspen confessed everything, and Calum doubted it would come by any easier once this tormenting conversation took place.

It was taking everything in him not to stop himself from crumbling just yet.

His dark eyes met his mother’s, which were so warm and open and encouraging that Calum, for a moment, wondered if it was better to just stay quiet. But then the glittering green eyes of his daughter, the same ones of her mother, flashed across Calum’s mind and he was hastily blurting before he could stop himself, “Did you make Aspen leave because she was pregnant?”

A pin drop could be heard in the silence that followed Calum’s outburst of a question, like time stood agonizingly still. His fingers were digging into his kneecaps through his pants, grip tight and almost as painful as the rigid tension in his muscles. Calum’s gaze was on the floor in front of him, unable to look at the woman beside him as he impatiently waited for an answer. As each second passed by unanswered, Calum felt his heart picking up its pace and mind swirling with unimaginable thoughts he didn’t want to give the time of day.

But the silence was too much. He needed her to speak. “Mum,” Calum ground out through gritted teeth, eyes squeezing shut. “Answer the question. Please.”

“Calum,” she finally spoke up, her voice too gentle for the situation, sounding too innocent when Calum had a horrible gut feeling she wasn’t. “I don’t know wha—”

“Don’t say you don’t know what I’m talking about,” Calum snapped, eyes flashing open as he finally looked at his mother, expression forming into a glare he never thought he’d look at her with. She stared back, stunned and confused and, what Calum easily noticed, dreading. His heart felt as though there was a fist around it. Calum stood up on shaky legs, staring down at her with incredulously widened eyes. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. So tell me the truth.”

Joy put her glass down and Calum noticed the slight shake in her own hands, clearing her throat and trying to appear more nonchalant than the situation called for. She remained poised where she sat, lips pursed momentarily before she looked up at him. “Who told you Aspen was pregnant, love?” she asked with a dismissing laugh. “That’s ridiculous.”

Calum wasn’t having any of this. He could feel his blood beginning to boil, a fiery anger he’d never experienced before clenching his fists and tightening his jaw. His breathing was beginning to quicken, unable to inhale enough air to keep up with his rapid heart beat. She was acting too dismissive, was going on the defense, which meant she had something to be defensive about. Meant that she was, in fact, hiding something. And as those realizations slowly began settling in Calum’s mind, the more nauseous and angry and betrayed he felt.

“No,” Calum spoke in an eerily calm voice, gaze meeting hers once again. “What’s ridiculous is that you knew my girlfriend was pregnant and made her leave.” He let out a disbelieving scoff, expression forming one of heartbreak that he hoped made his mother realize just how badly she fucked up. “What’s ridiculous is that, ultimately, it’s your fault I never knew I had a daughter and missed out on so fucking much.”

He never cursed in front of his mother, respected her too much for that. But right now, with his heart aching and blood pumping, respect was the last thing he felt for her.

“My fault?” Joy repeated, staring up at Calum in disbelief, which just floored him because who was she to look shocked? She stood up as well, not even her heels giving her any height of her six foot son, but that didn’t matter. “She took the money, Calum. She could’ve said no, could’ve stayed—but she took it and left. What does that say about her, hmm?”

“Jesus, Mum!” Calum burst out, fingers flying into his hair as his widened eyes met her challenging ones, taking a few steps away. He pointed an accusing, ring clad finger at her. “Don’t turn this around on her right now—this is about you and how you purposefully played on Aspen’s intimidation and made her leave.” His skin was on fire, feeling a pain between his eyes that was a prelude to an oncoming headache. Calum let out a deep, sharp breath. “She’d always felt like she didn’t belong and you used that against an already anxious woman and ran her out of town!”

“That’s because she doesn’t belong, Calum,” Joy snapped, her serene expression falling into a scowl of her own, clearly not appreciating the way her son was speaking to her. She looked stern, matching her tone of voice as she continued once a silenced Calum stared at her with narrowed eyes. “Sweetheart, being a father when you’d only just turned twenty-one? It would’ve held you back. You weren’t done with school yet and all of your focus would’ve gone to a child conceived out of a relationship that wasn’t going to last in the first place because Aspen was not right for you. I’m sorry, honey, but I was doing you a favor.”

Calum wondered if his mother genuinely believed what she was saying—if the words she was spewing actually made sense to her, because Calum was just becoming increasingly more confused and outraged and pissed. She truly wasn’t making any sense to him. “Doing me a favor?” he repeated with a scoff. “You didn’t have the fucking right!” His voice bellowed through the suite and Calum was briefly aware of Duke’s head raising from where he sat on the armchair, but his furious gaze was fixated on his mother. “The choice should’ve been mine—not yours and not Aspen’s. I don’t give a shit about her not belonging or whatever you’re trying to justify. I loved her and I didn’t care about what anyone else thought. She was—is—a good person but you couldn’t look past the fact that she’s not who you pictured me with and decided to keep me from the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Joy was silent, not at all used to the venom in Calum’s voice, the fierce glare on his face meant for only her. There was a fire in his eyes and a rigidness in his stature, and Calum hoped she could see just how much she hurt him. He needed to talk things out with Aspen, he knew, but right now, all he could focus on was his mother and what her unjustified decision cost him. Her reasoning may make sense to her, but it didn’t carry an ounce of justification for Calum. It infuriated him, made him nauseous to think that his mother thought any of this was right.

His eyes were burning, tears of anger and betrayal and heartbreak flooding into them with the torrent of emotions he was experiencing. To think that all of this could’ve been avoided if his mother had gotten off her high horse, if Aspen had come talked to him, if he’d tried harder to find her. Never before did Calum feel such a strong desire to put his fist through a wall.

Instead, he dug his hand into his wallet, roughly pulling out the picture he kept in there before holding it up to his mother. “Her,” Calum gruffly spoke, voice audibly as shaky as his hand. “You kept her out of my life. How the hell am I supposed to forgive you for that, Mum?” He saw her throat work, his own shoulders slumping as her wide eyes were fixated on the picture of a smiling Luna with little daisies in her hair that she and Calum had placed during one of their days at the park. One of his favorite pictures he’d taken, immediately getting it developed. Calum’s hand dropped and he knew his mother was looking at his glassy eyes, downward turned lips, and devastated expression. His voice turned hard, eerily quiet as his brimming eyes narrowed and jaw tightened painfully. “Luna is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And she would’ve been the best thing four years ago if you hadn’t forced her mum out.”

*****

He knew he shouldn’t be here. Knew his life felt like it had fallen apart and being surrounded by booze wasn’t going to help him deal with the situation any better. But there wasn’t much for him to do. The last person he wanted to see for now was his mum, and it was Aspen’s days with Luna.

Aspen.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Calum bowed his head as his grip on the glass tightened, the pounding of his heart louder in his ears than the thundering bass of the song playing throughout the club. It was hammering in his head, which still ached from the conversation he had with his mum yesterday. It’d been a whole day since he last saw or spoke to her, so while she had tea with her friends in the city, Calum stayed in his apartment with hid dog, refraining from breaking every piece of furniture in sight. Because this was shit. Everything was shit.

It had been difficult to wrap his head around the truth when Aspen had told him, but hearing it from his mother—there weren’t enough drinks in the world to numb him from this kind of pain. He’d been pissed at Aspen before, hadn’t been afraid to let her know how much she hurt him for reasons he had deemed as selfish. Now that he knew the truth, he was stung with hurt that she hadn’t come talk to him when everything was going on, but he was also disgusted. Disgusted with his mother for giving Aspen that heinous ultimatum and disgusted with himself for not trying to find her after she left.

She had gone, and Calum just. . . Let it happen.

But he slept with her. They slept together, and it had been just as dizzying and thrilling and wonderful as he remembered—even more so, if that was possible. Kissing Aspen, touching her. . . Calum could never forget how fucking amazing she’d felt against him, and the other night had just reminded him of what he’d been missing. He’d been with her before he knew the truth, had been in a state of aggravation and unexpected desire, but wanted her all the same.

Now he knew the truth. Now he didn’t know what to think. What to do.

“What’s up with you, man?” Calum lifted his head when he felt a hand clap his shoulder and Michael appear at his side. He was nursing his own drink, green eyes appearing dark under the colored lights of the club, but those couldn’t hide the concern Calum saw swimming in them.

“Nothin’,” the dark haired man responded once clearing his throat, standing up straight. He didn’t want to delve into his problems right now, didn’t want to wander in the dark corners of his mind despite the fumes escaping already.

Michael eyed him, not believing Calum for a second but not wanting to push him. “Alright, well, come on. Luke and Ash are already up top,” he urged, tugging at Calum’s arm to pull him off the stool he sat on.

Calum let Michael drag him through the crowded club, easily pushing past the many bodies gathered in his club as they went up the stairs towards the private section. Being around so many strangers wasn’t ideal for Calum, not by the least, but he didn’t want to be alone either. Not right now, anyway.

“There he is!” Ashton grinned once he and Michael came into view. He was sitting on the couch, Luke on the couch as Michael sat next to him. Jutting his chin at the drink in Calum’s hand, Ashton added, “Maybe that drink will make you look less miserable.”

With a roll of his eyes, Calum sat on the single couch opposite of Ashton, a glass table in between them littered with bottles and glasses. Calum didn’t even bother arguing with Ashton—he felt as though he had the right to look miserable. After the shit he just came to find out? Calum wasn’t even sure how to act. Honestly, he’s finished two and a half packs of cigarettes ever since that night at Aspen’s, and still he felt the itch to step outside and light another one up. He felt the blood tickle his veins unpleasantly, felt his gut twisting and churning painfully every time he thought of Aspen and what she must have been feeling all those years ago, made to raise a child by herself because she didn’t think enough of herself.

But he was mad at her, too. She should’ve gone to him as soon as she found out. Should’ve aired out her concerns to him. It was her body, yeah, but her pregnancy had just as much to do with him as it did her. Calum would have wanted a say in the matter, would’ve assured her that they would get through it together and that he wanted a baby with her. He’d loved her. Loves her. Does he?

Calum took another sip of his drink, glaring at nothing in particular as the music continued consistently. If he’d been conflicted about his feelings regarding Aspen before, he was now thrown into a pit of endless confusion and frustration. He shouldn’t have slept with her, he knew, especially because of so much between them had yet to be resolved. But he also didn’t regret it, which dizzied him. Being with her that night felt like being stuck in a downpour after a drought—revitalizing and something to soak in.

His grip on the glass tightened. But she had left. His mother had played a part in it. And both he and Luna had to suffer in the hands of the woman who raised him and the woman Calum loved unconditionally.

“Seriously, Cal, what’s up with you?” Luke’s voice pulled him out of his muddling thoughts, catching sight of the curious look on the blonde’s face. “Did something happen?”

Across from him, Ashton snorted. “What did Aspen do now?”

Calum swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He sat, elbows resting on his thighs and shoulders slouched as his gaze locked with his friend’s. “Don’t,” Calum griped, his voice rough and stern. “Not in the mood for you talkin’ shit about her tonight.”

Ashton huffed, leaning back in his seat with his arms resting on the armrest. “It’s not talking shit if it’s true, Cal. I get tolerating her for Luna’s sake but how’re you just gonna forget all that pain she caused you?”

It was like Ashton pulled the lid off of Calum’s simmering, bubbling aggravation.

“Is that what you fuckin’ think I did? Forgot?” Calum demanded, no regards for the glass as he slammed his on the table, the sharp clank drowned out by the music. But the heavy indignation in Calum’s voice could be heard loud and clear, earning startled looks from his three best friends. He didn’t care, though. Calum was frustrated and pissed and heartbroken and betrayed and he was ready to explode. “I didn’t fucking forget anything, Ashton. I remember, quite clearly, how it felt when Aspen left and I’m still trying to work through the shit I feel when I think about the fact that I have a daughter that was kept from me.”

With each word, Calum’s voice rose enough to drag the attention of others towards their seated area, but Calum couldn’t give a fuck. His body was heating up with vexation and exasperation, muscles tight with tension he desperately wanted to be rid of. Calum pointed at Ashton, accusatory and hostile, as he seethed, “You don’t know the whole story, so let it go.”

They all looked confused as Ashton’s eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed, but it was Michael who spoke up. “Do you know the whole story?”

“Yeah, I fucking do,” Calum snapped before letting out a humorless scoff, giving his friends a look. His words were quick and harsh, carried with a bitter firmness in a thick voice. “The fuck do you think I had Mum fly over for? Had to ask her if she really did give Aspen money to run out of town with my baby. It’s all fucked and I don’t need any of you chiming in with your own opinions—especially if you’re gonna shit on the mother of my kid.”

His words were followed by a heavy silence amongst the boys, deaf to the music playing and people partying all around them. Ashton, Luke and Michael all stared at Calum, eyes wide and jaws hung and disbelief written across their faces as they tried to process what Calum had just told them. He wanted to scoff—as if they’d have better luck understanding this shit of a situation than he did.

“She fucking took the money?”

Ashton’s words had Calum springing to his feet, teeth clenched together so tightly it was a wonder they didn’t shatter. All eyes were on him, but the scowl on Calum’s face was not one to be reckoned with. He didn’t need this. He didn’t fucking need his friends questioning the situation when he could barely understand it, didn’t need Ashton’s bias clouding his fucked up judgement because he didn’t know what to do. Calum wasn’t in control, was desperately looking for a way to be, but he didn’t know where to fucking start.

He hadn’t been in control of his life for years now. And the last thing he wanted to do was spiral.

Calum gave a shake of his head, the thundering music doing nothing to help his pounding head. “Fuck this.”

And then he was gone, ignoring his friends’ calls of his name as he left his own club, ready to head home and make use of the jar of weed he kept in his bedroom.

tags: @crownedbyluke @gotta-try-something-new @rishlo @bitchinbabylon @ghstofcalum @dxmncalum @letsfxckindance @unsexilexi @calumthoodsyonce @grreatgooglymoogly @therainydays4 @sadbreakfast-club @lifeakaharry @codycasperky2 @biggestslutforcalum @complete-trash-101 @kinglyhemmings @hemmomfg @friendly-neighborhood-michelle @cxddlyash @checkeredcalum @lovelettercalum @nostalgia-luke @captain-what-is-going-on @slimthicccal @bloodytbs @miahelizaaabeth @ghostofhood @elsysoza @writing-in-riverdale @tourettesboi @angelbbycal @bbteamlove @xoforeverx @stfujace @thebodaciouscth @helplesshood @runawaywithme-xo @lietomemyvalentine @emma070900 @cosmixcalum @babygirlcashton @calumamongmen @5sos-stan4lyfe @ihatemyself21 @lipstickstainfading @crystalisinfinite @misskarynie @wrappedaroundcal @wcstethenights @michealcliffturd @akacalciumhood @clum-thomas @poppedpins @dollbitxhes @5saucewho @hearts-to-the-sky @booklove-2 @walkedhomealone @andreabjoerg @qualitylu @softboycal @early-thoughts @5saucefanfic @dher216 @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you @babyloniancal @xlov3quotingx @aybbblondie @rexorangecouny @flowerchild8341 @romanticalumhood @kaxseychill @babyloncalm @calistheloml @calumh-excess @egyptiangoldhood @irwinkitten @soulmatecashton @gettingjillywithit @asht0ns-world @visualm3nte @xhaileyreneex @cal-pal-cuddles @invisiblexcth @cliffordcntrl @mermaid-merrick @5secondssofssummer @cals-babylons @mysteriouslycali @hoodcentral @cathartichaoss @inlovehoodx @gigglyirwin @roselukes @thepixiedreambitch @calumhoodless @dancingonanemptywallet @antisocialbandmate @sunnysidesblog @escap0-with-me @rosa-aurum @thewhitestbitch-u-know @rosecoloredash @biwriting @calteahood @2k17muke @theagenderwhocriedwolf @caelumhood @kinglycalum @fucking5sos @ohhmuke @ghostofch @isabella-mae13 @5secsofsomewhere @meangirlsmum @danielaaaa1997 @tupeloohoneyy @yeah-idk-why-not @sublimehood @shower-me-with-roses @hotmessmichael @xx-cuddlemecalum-xx @pauliip @jetblackyoungblood @astroashtonio @valentinelrh @softforcal @plainwhiteluke @meetashthere

532 notes · View notes