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a-d-nox · 11 months

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what's a mars return?

did you know that you can check more than just your sun's return? any time a planet transits and becomes exactly conjunct your planet (it is in the exact sign and degree it was when you were born), you undergo a planetary return. mars returns happen roughly every 2 years (unless there is a retrograde too). my mars return is coming up this august and i couldn't be more thrilled to shed the lessons of my 2021 mars return chart and step onto a new battleground.

but what can a mars return chart show you?

what are you passion at / what you desire to do. your confidence and lack thereof. sex. what makes you angry / frustrated / aggressive / competitive. your impulsive behavior. where you are dominant / a leader. the challenge(s) you face.

sun

ego, leadership, self-confidence, sex life, focus, creative passions, authority, dominance, individuality, leadership development, dignity, awareness of other's intentions, and self-expression desires/passion.

moon

frustration, passion, desire, lust, anger, survival instincts, care for your unit/squad, where you feel most powerful, your blood family, passionate/lustful instincts, fertility, adaptability, relationship with your mother, menstruation, and habits.

mercury

communication about what you want, verbal inspiration of others, debates, arguments, how you antagonize others, the determination of your mind, physical health, perception, short trips, ground transportation, diplomatic mannerisms, aggressive mannerisms, and profanity.

venus

who you lust over, who you're attracted to, your reception of others' love, empathy/sympathy for others, pleasure, self-love/pleasure, compromise, values and moral drive, and possessions.

mars

passion, desire, confidence, ambition, lust, sexual desire, anger/combativeness, aggressiveness/competitiveness, athletics, temper, impulse, dominance over other, activity / physical energy, and violence.

jupiter

luck at pursuing your passions/desires, wins/successes, opportunity to move into leadership roles / win, who is willing to follow you, expansion of you empire, knowledge of the things you desire / are passionate about, wisdom gained from previous experiences, air travel, how you seek justice, exploration of foreign land, and spoils/profit/gains from what you win/achieve.

saturn

hard work, challenges/struggles, what the absence of your father/fatherly figure is like (mars has no father - read that myth here), lack of confidence, delays in you passions/desires, physical limitations, physical discipline, responsibility for others, physical effort, self-control, physical stability, endurance, emotional detachment (battle compartmentalization), and grudges.

uranus

allis, fluctuation in attitude/confidence, online arguments, physical uniqueness, rebellion, unplanned/sudden occurrences (surprise attacks), independence, freedom from others, p0rn0graphy, shock (usually of the traumatic variety), (battlefield) chaos, disasters scenarios, and fans/followers.

neptune

creative plans/strategies, camouflage and how you blend in, over-sensitivity, selflessness/egoism, retreating, intuition, deception/lies/manipulation, passionate inspiration, and fascination.

pluto

physical transformation, power, sex, 0rgasms, destruction of others, death, intensity, physical magnetism, physical regeneration, infatuation with other, obsession with others, seduction, manipulation of other, how you plans evolve and change, and the liabilities you remove from your life.

1h/asc

how you approach life, physical body, confidence, the initiative you take, your ambition, your behavior, physical alterations, individuality, and passion.

impulse spending habits, passion projects / side hustles, your work ethic, material possessions (spoils), stability, giving/receiving, and resources.

communication, your strategic mind, your perceptions, interests, ground transportation, social media (the arguments you get in and your followings), and short journeys.

4h/ic

homes/houses (raiding homes that aren't yours or location of your own home), family/family roots, and the foundation of your plans foundations.

children, talent for arguing or your passions, creative plans, risk-taking activities, hookups, pleasures/desires, and strategy games you play

physical health, fitness routine, your duties towards others, your hygiene, and analytics/strategy.

7h/dsc

long term relationships, physical attraction towards others, partnerships, allis, known enemies, and negotiations.

major physical transformation, sex, death, changes of heart, your partners resources/assets, seduction, secrets, spiritual transformation, surgery/operations, and trauma (ptsd).

(battle) wisdom, morality/ethics, foreign environments / long journeys, travel, and learning about leadership / your passion.

10h/mc

your legacy, your reputation, long-term goals/plans, mission, responsibilities towards others, authority, expertise, and leadership.

11h

allis, gains, desires, awareness of other's intentions towards you, groups you lead, politics, and interaction with others.

12h

mental healing/health, hidden weaknesses, hidden enemies, k!nks, fears, losses, closure from tense situations, repressed memory, past challenges, and mental restrictions that become physical restrictions.

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#astrology #astro community #astro placements #astro chart #asteroid astrology #asteroid #natal chart #persona chart #greek mythology #astrology tumblr #mars #mars return chart #mars return

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samueldays · 6 months

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Have said it before, will say it again: I'm no great person. Neither morally nor intellectually. When I rag on all sorts of experts and degree-holders, it's not because I think so much of myself as to imagine I'm omnicompetent, but because I think so very little of them.

So here's my latest bit of ragging on high places:

Opinion: Trust in science is declining. Here’s how we can regain it

Megan L. Ranney, MD MPH, is an emergency physician and dean of Yale School of Public Health. Katelyn Jetelina, MPH PhD, is an epidemiologist, advisor to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

These two Masters of Public Health have correctly noticed a lack of trust. Their proposed patch boils down to: tell people to have more trust, loudly, frequently, and on more channels.

There is no mention of apologizing for mistakes in general, nor acknowledging any specific mistakes made. Nothing about improvements to be made among scientists, neither self-policing nor the lack thereof, nor the replication crisis, et cetera. There is only a lengthy call to communicate better, leading to this amazingly awful sentence:

At the end of the day, if the United States is going to improve our trust in science, we have to ensure that we are all public health communicators.

Problem 1: you take your own perfection for granted, not considering anything you might do to earn trust. Problem 2: you treat "trust" as a goal in itself, rather than something that should correspond to your trustworthiness. Problem 3: you equivocate between science and public health. Problem 4: you call on everyone else in "we" to fix your bad rep.

THESE ARE BAD PEOPLE. DON'T TRUST THEM.

Social media can play a part, too. Work by the National Academy of Medicine, in collaboration with the Council for Medical Specialty Societies and the World Health Organization (with which Dr. Ranney was involved), outlined ways for social media companies to identify and amplify “credible health messengers” — both the professionals and the everyday folks who are volunteering their time to create content. We applaud companies like YouTube that have made this work a priority, and hope that more companies will follow.

A cynical person might describe this in terms of selective reporting and suppressing dissent. The use of "credible" as opposed to "honest" sounds like a spin doctor wanting to make problems go away by rhetoric instead of work. It's not clear how much of the MPH's focus on health, vaccination, the WHO and so forth is déformation professionelle, and how much is a MPH trying to spend down the credit of "science" at large for the benefit of her personal narrow slice of it.

CNN Opinion selects for the kind of people who want to be on CNN, and the kind of people CNN wants to have on, so Ranney and Jetelina are probably not representative of public health, or so I hope. They're still awful people. Their entire opinion piece is a demonstration of why "trust in science" should be low: there is a serial conflation of trust in scientists and trust in experts and trust in credential-holders like Ranney and Jetelina who in turn treat trust as a kind of compliance to be acquired by badgering people.

#all #the death of expertise #or perhaps the death of credentialism

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icycoldninja · 7 days

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Hi uh idk if the requesting is open heres my request for the Sparda bros with Nero, with a reader who’s like Acat (the goddess of tattoos) if u have seen Maya and the three, that’s why they tends to wear revealing clothes for easy access to get the weapons

Thank you !!

Though I have never seen that show, I did my research. Please enjoy!

Sparda boys X Goddess of tattoos!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante thought you wore such revealing clothing because that was just your style and found it super hot.

-Then he realized you could manipulate the tattoos on your body (of which there are many) and use them to summon weapons, and was immediately reminded of V.

-He likes to watch you zoom around with your weapons, and thinks your ink wings are cool as hell.

-Wonders if you can manipulate other people's tattoos, if so, he's definitely getting some, like your name on his arm or something.

-The fact that you are a goddess means you can't get sick, which means neither of you have any reason to worry about illnesses.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil thought your clothes--or lack thereof--inappropriate. His woman should not be walking around in such indecent attire putting nearly her whole body on display. That was something that should be reserved for him and him alone.

-Of course, his tune changed when he saw why this was. Your ink weapons are truly amazing--examples of true POWER.

-He loves your ink knives and finds them very similar to his Mirage Blade.

-When he saw your ink wings, he realized this meant the two of you could fly around together. New date idea, noted.

-The fact that you are a goddess MOTVIATES him because in dating you, he has essentially acquired a goddesses blessing.

-He had you tattoo your name over his chest as a way to consolidate this blessing, and so you always have a way to summon more weapons.

□ Nero □

-Nero thought you were trying to be provocative with the way you dressed and was kinda into it.

-Then one day you guys were ambushed by demons and you used your tattoos to summon weapons. It reminded Nero of V and how he used his tattoos to summon familiars.

-He doesn't understand how you do what you do (he didn't understand V either) but finds it pretty cool anyway.

-You being a goddess is also a shocker. Does this mean you will give him your divine blessing?

-Immortality and sickness immunity is also a plus because since Nero is onky 1/4 demon, he gets sick, and would love for someone to nurse him back to health, even if he won't say it.

-Your super durability and strength mean Nero doesn't have to look out for you as much during battle, allowing the both of you to focus more on fighting.

● V ●

-V saw your tattoos and the way you dressed and thought to himself, oh my, she's just like me.

-Seeing you in combat only confirmed his theory. You manipulated your tattoos for combat purposes just like did, summoning weapons to fight whereas he summoned familiars.

-He thought that you being a goddess was incredible, and wondered if you could manipulate his tattoos too.

-Your super strength means that he has a failsafe for when his body is too weak for him to do anything.

-Worries that one day he will die and leave you all alone since you are immortal.

-If you have the ability to bestow upon him blessings, please do, he really needs it.

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beautyinthediss0nance · 1 year

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So, I’m changing departments/jobs at work, and my future supervisor and I were talking during a shift. I mentioned that I have to be careful when I have a drink with dinner because it can be amplified by my meds. He stopped me mid-conversation and asked, “Now, what happens if you don’t take your meds?” with genuine concern. I explained that a day without meds is nothing crazy, less focus, more erratic but I can function. The bigger issue is if I can’t get my meds (due to supply), where my mood swings, anxiety, depressive dips etc start to really kick in, but it is mostly an internalized struggle and I would warn him in either situation.

The fact that he wanted to make sure he was prepared, and what I cope with, and how my meds affect me (or lack thereof) was very endearing and I greatly appreciated it. He has seen my struggles some days, between my AuDHD and my OCD and has been supportive and helpful, and checks on me and my well-being, so him now being my boss is a huge plus.

As hard as it can be to be open about your mental health and struggles, it is SO freeing once you are. Sometimes people won’t understand, or even try, but I have WAY more people who are happy I am, because they can be more understanding and compassionate, and work with me vs against me. It isn’t all “it’s all about me” but if you have open communication about each others needs, you are much more likely to be able to build healthy interactions and relationships.

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greenmansgrove · 3 months

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When the Morrigan Calls an Atheist

Originally published in The Connexus of Reformed Druidry, Midwinter 2023. Sharing to my personal blog for the purposes of reaching a wider audience.

I consider myself an atheist druid. I do not believe in the existence of any gods, and I have a strong aversion to organized religion in the face of cultural Christianity and the US’s modern political climate regarding the separation of church and state, or lack thereof. I won’t lie about my still holding those aversions, including to those who consider themselves Christian druids–identities that seem at odds, given Christianity’s historic colonialism and its methodical destruction of indigenous cultures worldwide. But I have Reformed Druidry to thank for my efforts at pluralistic acceptance. I thank, too, my involvement in the LGBTQ+ community. A quote within the Bisexual Manifesto from Anything That Moves: Beyond the Myths of Bisexuality (1990) sticks with me: “There are as many definitions of bisexuality as there are bisexuals.” For the bisexual community, this frame of mind is an important one in the face of historical, systemic, and even internalized biphobia, where one is continually told to “prove” their bi-ness, that having preferences means they aren’t “actually” bi, or that marrying someone who isn’t the same gender as you means it’s a “straight-passing” relationship. Using this understanding, I am able to move much more quickly past questioning one’s labels and into acceptance of and trust for the ways one understands themselves. If a druid can be a Christian, then maybe an atheist can devote themselves to a god…

And so what does an atheist druid do when the Morrigan calls? What does the call of The Morrigan sound like to someone who wants absolutely nothing to do with gods, nor to be associated with theolatry, even if the gods invoked in the RDNA can be interpreted as aspects of nature or Jungian archetypes in the collective unconscious of humanity? Can the gods call to an atheist in the first place? These are questions I ask even myself after having been initiated as an Acolyte of the Order of the Morrigan this past October.

I knew very firmly when I began my druidic studies in May of 2022 that I would be approaching my practice as an atheist. I sought plainly to learn about druidry, celebrate the High Days, and enjoy nature in ways that I used to growing up. Studying druidry, like some study Buddhist philosophy, was a way for me to integrate my desire for intellectual growth, my care for my health, and my political activism. Intertwining all three helps me to live my life holistically and intentionally. My druidic practice consists of learning about plants, animals, and various religions and their gods not as a way to collect knowledge, but to understand the worldviews and lessons that cultures both living and dead have to teach. As a result, I deepen my empathy for others and for myself. I find studying divination to be especially enjoyable, and I even find it useful as an atheist. I think that suspending disbelief is a healthy practice, if not a pleasant diversion. I also see it as an aid to a busy mind. Divination can be helpful in not only listening to one’s intuition, but finding focus where there is chaos. When I am feeling emotionally distraught or when I am struggling to make a choice, I love doing Ogham readings. Whether picking a singular stave or placing a full spread, my divinations help me surrender decision fatigue and cold logic in favor of the imagination, creativity, and serendipity.

Thus, I believe the Morrigan first began “calling” me when my Elder Ogham stave fell off my altar in October 2022. Without noticing, it snapped beneath my boot in my rush out the door. I struggled to attach meaning to what had happened – a fun exercise I set upon myself. Elder is associated with protection, healing, cycles of death and rebirth, and even sacrifice. Had my Elder stave “protected” me from something? Had I or would I sleight someone, causing the “death” of a relationship? What else might be dying and be reborn, or even interrupted in that process, as symbolized by the break? Was there a sacrifice I was being asked to make? I did not know, and no answer came. I replaced the stave in my collection and burned the broken, unfixable stave as part of my sacrifice later that Samhain. Things were quiet in the months ahead, but then over and over again, the names and their various spellings associated with the Morrigan would appear before me in reading, in passing, in meeting people. And in my nature walks, I kept spying plants that I would later discover to be associated the Morrigan, often in unexpected places or forms I did not immediately recognize until using an identification app. Chiefly among those was Elder, both red and black varieties native to the US, as well as hawthorns and nightshades.

All the while, and since beginning my druidic studies in May 2022, I was dealing very strongly with some grief. I’d hit the point where existing in my grief was beginning to weigh on me and frustrate me. I did not know how to move on. I did not know how to stop wallowing or what actions to take to make a difference. I was ready to enter that big “acceptance” stage that everyone talked about, but which I’d only experienced fleetingly or only logically but not emotionally. Studying druidry was one of the ways I hoped to find some method of managing my grief and finding joy again. It was working, but the grief still held me quite tightly moving into 2023.

When I finally caught the pattern of the Morrigan’s names and plants appearing in my life, I began my research. What could those appearances mean? Why was my brain picking up on those patterns? What tied them together?

In the three dark moons since dawning my devotional pendant, I am, naturally, still seeking the answers to those questions. I find these exercises of logic and imagination more entertaining than anything serious to pursue, but I can at least describe what I’ve gotten out of the experience thus far. A simple start to an answer might be that I relate to the ideas, the images, the lore, and the messages of the Morrigan. She is a peacemaker as much as She is a warmaker. Through Her many incarnations, She has survived and overcome adversity and grief of all kinds. She knows what it means to be more than how others perceive you. I can appreciate what She has come to mean for women, queer individuals, and survivors of all kinds in the modern era, and it is that mutability of Her image between the past and in the present that also draws me to Her. Transformation and change, including to those of the current times, seems right up Her alley. Hers are qualities I would like to see in myself.

When Elder appeared to me on my walks for the third time earlier this year, that’s when I decided I would do something out of character for how I viewed myself as an atheist druid – I would join The Order of the Morrigan. I was already familiar with the liturgy John the Verbose had composed a few years prior, and with that third, final sign, I felt that it was the push towards the threshold of change I was looking for in my grief. I would use my initiation as a right of passage beyond my grief, to work to make change, to fight to pull myself out of where I had been wallowing so I could move on. As serendipity would have it, the day of October’s new moon was also the day of the partial annular eclipse for Minnesota, and John the Verbose was kind enough to allow the ritual he planned to simply be my initiation that day. All around, it felt not only appropriate but auspicious to have my initiation take place during a time of introspection and new beginnings. I went into it not just hoping it would be the hallmark of change in my life, but with the intention of making it the moment of change.

I’d spent the month prior making my preparations. I strung my devotional pendant, I wove my sling from hemp, I collected three black sling stones from the orange agate-speckled shores of the Mississippi near my apartment, and collected the Waters of Death there, too. I procured some of my second-favorite elderberry wine that John would consecrate as the Waters of Life. And I fashioned the first iteration (of three – I’m bad at sewing) of my vestments if the Morrigan accepted me. I awoke the morning of the ritual to the calls of the crow family that had moved into the forest across the street, and it was taken to be a sign.

The day was a little chilly and overcast, occluding our views of the eclipse for a majority of the time, but it meant more to me that the grove officers were all there, standing in solidarity with me. But as serious as the mood of the ritual is meant to be, it is difficult not to laugh as you crush a tomato in your fist with your grovemates in the splash zone…

When John asked for a sign of the Morrigan’s acceptance, he made an acorn divination while the calls of bluejays (my favorite corvid) rang out in the distance, heralding new beginnings, commitments, and the responsibilities therein.

And I did, indeed, feel a renewed sense of purpose, per the liturgy’s closing admonitions. I can say with certainty that while I still have good and bad days with my grief, I feel resolute in efforts to curate a more hopeful future for myself in spite of my grief.

My first few months as an Acolyte have been devoted to my research of the Morrigan. As an Acolyte, I am seeking to deepen my relationship with Her and what She represents. I have learned a lot. Studying what She means to peoples of the past and present has allowed me to learn about myself, too. “Shadow work” or self-reflexivity seems to be an important part of devotion to The Morrigan. It is something that comes naturally to me, which doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it’s affirming to know that something I work hard to practice is also something well-practiced by the Morrigan’s devotees.

And to be sure, I am still an atheist. However, I would be remiss not to treat my studies and engagement with the Morrigan’s lore and community with the same level of respect and seriousness that Her believers do. As an Acolyte of the Morrigan, I see myself as a student to Her teachings, rather than a worshiper. And if I were to become a Priest to Her Order someday, I might be more likely to consider myself a representative of Her interests and values.

I’m certain that as I continue my studies and deepen my relationship with The Morrigan that I may come to new realizations, and they are something I welcome. I am in a continual state of learning and becoming. I think atheists get a bad rep for being killjoy skeptics, but I see myself as just being deeply rooted in reality, working to keep an open mind for things that cannot or have yet to be explained, and trying to have more than a little fun while I’m at it.

Peace to the heavens!

#The Morrigan #atheism #druidism #rdna #devotional writing #druidry #Elder #Ogham

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becomedog · 7 months

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poorly worded rambling about mental health diagnosis ! if you respond be cool please...

i've said it before but the more i learn the more i think mental health diagnosis should be looked at as less Finding What's Up With You

and more like. official diagnosis should be seen as one potential way to access resources that could help you. sometimes at great cost (financial, creating more barriers because of stigma, being put in brain jail against your will, etc).

the terms can be useful without official diagnosis, because sometimes the cluster of symptoms of a particular disorder or what have you will describe your situation and it can feel a) validating to see that others have similar experiences and b) allow you to find that community and the resources and experiences they have shared. those are often the most helpful aspects of diagnostic terms and they do not require an official diagnosis!

of course many ways of coping with things are only accessible with a diagnosis- certain medications for example.

but i feel like the focus i see around me is people who see official medical diagnosis as the the only way they can get to feel its Okay to be the way they are, and having an official term will lead to other other people respecting their differences.

and there's a lot of pathologizing of just...non-distressing-to-the-person human variation. both by medical/mental health professionals and by the public. when the individual's experience of distress or lack thereof, and their desires to change those distressing experiences, getting them those resources....should be the center. not the dsm. not finding the perfect magic key in the form of words that are your static identity.

a lot of relation to my feelings on queer identities/microidentities too. is this a helpful framework that will help me live the life i want? do i feel pressured to Find The Perfect Words to justify my existing? yknow.

this is me thinking about a lot of things but in this particular moment its me reading people's responses to that cow rotation post saying like "GUESS I HAVE ANOTHER THING TO GET CHECKED OUT IM NEVER REALLY SAFE HUH" and getting sad about it. you don't actually! necessarily! anyway!!!!

#text

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neuroticboyfriend · 1 year

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this is prbly too broad of a question but about your post abt dealing with abusive people-how do we define if that's what we are dealing with? like. what if u just dont know how to tell?? then how are u supposed to figure out if you need to keep working harder or if u need to just take care of yourself first instead? (feel free to just delete this if it's too, like, abstract, that's fine. i just thought i'd ask)

before i say anything, i want you to know that if anyone is causing you harm, it is not on you to work harder. people doing harm - abuse or not - are responsible for remedying the harm they commit. period. and you should always focus on taking care of yourself. your wellbeing comes first.

that said, the easiest way i can give insight on figuring out if it's abuse, is to share what I've felt (and still feel, unfortunately):

I feel violated and invalidated by them. They don't respect my boundaries.

I feel unsafe/scared/nervous around them. I can't trust them with my thoughts and feelings.

My needs aren't fulfilled; they're ignored or invalidated. My health isn't taken seriously.

They keep hurting me with their words and actions - or lack thereof.

When I speak up, it feels like they always have an excuse or reason why I'm wrong.

I don't like to talk about what they do. I'm scared people won't believe me, or I don't want people to worry.

I feel powerless around them. I don't have control over my life.

I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around them. I never know what they'll do.

if you resonate, i think it's a real possibility that the person(s) in mind is abusive. the above statements are not how you should feel around someone. they show that you are not safe and are being continously harmed - even if they don't realize they're harming you.

and tbh, just wondering if something is abuse is a huge red flag that it's abuse. it's kinda similar to wondering if you need a mobility aid. it shows there's a problem that needs a solution - that you're not safe and need safety.

so, regardless of if it's abuse: im wishing you so much happiness, safety, and health. to you, and anyone reading this who resonates.

#is it abuse #asks #anon #abuse #abuse tw #gaslighting #neglect #abuse survivor #abuse victim #trauma #trauma survivor #trauma victim #survivor

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femmefatalevibe · 11 months

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Hello FemmeFataleVibe! I have a question for you: how does a woman reconcile her sexuality and being a high value woman (HVW)? Are there certain desires or kinks a HVW should not have? What is the appropriate protocol in regard to disclosing past relationships or lack thereof to a suitor/dating prospect?

Hi love! Fun question. I believe that part of being a HVW is fully accepting, exploring, and owning your sexuality without any shame but understanding the importance of discretion in the public eye.

While any sexual preferences and (protected) consensual encounters, regardless of age, frequency, number of partners (lower or higher), etc., you prefer or decide to act on are morally neutral, it is best to keep these personal details to yourself along with your closest friends, a therapist, trusted mentors (could be a mom, aunt, or big sister figure), and partners on a need-to-know basis because this information can be used against you if in the wrong hands. Also, being crass – like being close-minded about sexuality and sexual preferences – reads as a sign of immaturity and/or insecurity.

Everyone has the right to the privacy of their own mind. So, I believe it is essential to accept your desires as they are. You cannot control what arouses you past a certain degree. The important thing is to know what desires are ethical to act on or in your best interest to share with others. I believe that any kinks outside of the ones where consent is not possible (involving children, animals, corpses, etc. – these are sick fantasies that require mental health treatment and, as far as I know, are not acceptable within kink communities), it is essential as a HVW to discern whether you find a particular kink(s) to be sexually gratifying or if they're rewarding purely because they satisfy a partner's desires (or perceived desires) and offer you a sense of external validation. While I don't identify as a radical feminist, I do agree with their philosophy on how the mainstream porn industry has negatively impacted how we approach sex and sexuality. The violence portrayed and its sole focus on male pleasure that it conditions (especially young) people to believe is the "right" or socially-acceptable way to engage with sex and their sexuality is concerning. Normalizing nonconsensual choking, face slapping, and anal sex are vile things to promote in society. With that being said, I don't think kink-shaming is necessary if two consenting adults (or older teens) discuss what they (genuinely) like and don't like and act according with respect to each others' boundaries.

I believe that discussing past relationships (or lack thereof) with a new partner should not be done upfront and on a need-to-know basis. Your first in-person meeting with a partner (whether it's a casual activity, coffee date, dinner, sexual encounter, etc.) should be focused on establishing the connection between you two and seeing if there's potential/compatibility there. If a new suitor asks about your relationship history very early on (let's say 1-3 meetings or a month into a new relationship), I think it's best to provide a truthful, high-level answer to the question such as: "My most recent relationship was a serious 2-year relationship ended 1 year ago, since that relationship ended, I've been learning about myself to determine what I'm looking for in an ideal partner/compatible lover." Even if you've never had an official relationship or long-term partner, know that if you have a good track record of sustained friendships (and especially if you have previous sexual experiences), you have all of the ingredients necessary for a romantic partnership. Don't stress about formalities. You have relationship experience, just a different type of relationship experience. Every partner and relationship is different, so we're all learning as we go through life anyways.

Anyone who feels the need to ask detailed questions about your past relationships upfront is a huge red flag. The same goes for anyone who talks about their exes right away and elaborates or dwells on the details of their relationship (this person is definitely not over their ex, lol). Your sexual history is no one's business outside of asking for negative test results and/or discussing exclusivity. Preferences, though, should be discussed once intimacy is in the immediate future.

Hope this helps xx

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maglors-anion-gap · 1 year

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(@cosmic-walkers so sorry for the late reply - work was very busy this week. Posting our thread as a new post because I feel bad gumming yours up with a bunch of reblogs. RIP to everyone's dash tho, the ADHD is leaping out and this post will not be short.)

Note: the text in all the images has been copied into the image description function on desktop. let me know if for some reason it can't be accessed.

Anyway, cosmic-walkers and I had a really good exchange about maeglin and his treatment in text that got me thinking again about eol and the difficulties I've had engaging with his narrative even after coming around to a more nuanced.

I mentioned this in my tags and asked how folks go about repairing eol's narrative:

And I got a really thoughtful reply that, with permission, I'm sharing here so that more people can see it. Hopefully it is as interesting to you all as it was to me. (browse images right to left, top to bottom. comments organized in vertical order in each image).

Thank you @cosmic-walkers for taking the time to write that out for me. It absolutely makes sense, and I actually really love getting long messages because I feel like the length constraints of both tags and comments hinder free conversation.

I have a degree in public health, and my focus was interpersonal and family violence; I don't bring it up to toot my own horn, but rather to offer some context for readers here and to draw from as I analyze the patterns of behavior in the narrative. For what its worth, I think that more nuanced readings of eol's character line up pretty well with frameworks for understanding unhealthy relationships, abusive relationships, and family violence.

I think it makes people uncomfortable to engage with the idea that abusers are humans. I don't mean that people ought to feel a preponderance of sympathy for them (at the expense of their victims), but rather that humans have human triggers, motivations, and psychologies. Of course, we are talking about elves, but *vague hand waving.* I joke that my degree was the most expensive, circuitous way to get therapy, but it really did help to engage with concepts like family systems theory to understand my own life and move forward in healing past "that sucked and my abuser is a monster .... who somehow manages to treat everyone else well... why me?"

Family systems theory posits that abuse can arise in certain dynamics and be conducted by people who, in other dynamics, would not act abusively. It asks us to describe both the overarching family system as well as the subsystems that exist between different members. Noise in one subsystem echoes to impact the rest of the system. It emphasizes the impact of boundaries (divisions, openness or isolation, emotional closeness), roles (patterns of behavior, and who may be targeted/blamed/scapegoated), rules (spoken and unspoken standards, traditions, and guidelines), and hierarchy (power, who holds it, respect and lack thereof). People chafe against the the last concept, feedback and circular causality, because when applied incorrectly it can sound like the victims are provoking their own abuse - this is not true, and it should not be applied like this. It only means that a relationship yields certain behaviors depending on its climate, and that once a pattern of behavior is established it becomes harder to break.

When analyzing family systems theory, many people choose to pair it with the family resilience model, which prioritizes repairing the broken aspects of (sub)system relationships, hilighing positive characteristics and using them as strengths to propel other behavior change, and promoting flexibility, openness, and equitability of social and economic resources to stabilize (sub)systems to begin the healing process. Of course, not everyone wishes to remain in contact with their abuser. Of my two abusers, one I have cut contact with and the other I now have a healthy relationship with. But, utilizing models and evidence based practice like this is critical to actually understanding and then remediating abuse and its damage.

Edit 1/1/23: I forgot to mention the impact of stress on abuse. Many abusers release their stress, confusion, and concerns in the form of abuse because they don’t have another way to process and positively direct those emotions. This can be caused by lack of emotional intelligence or ability to self regulate and soothe, lacking interpersonal communication skills, poor modeling from their own role models. I’ve written evidence-based program plans for mitigating teen dating violence, and to make an impact you have to far in advance of the common age of onset of dating violence. We should be teaching stress management tools, emotional regulation, communication skills, and bodily autonomy is late primary and early elementary school. But many people connect dating violence and sex in their minds and don’t want to talk about it with kids. In reality, a lot of abuse happens because of disregulation, not because of inappropriate desire. This is compounded in real life by theories of power and hierarchical respect - if people feel like someone is of higher value than them, they treat them respectfully, but if they feel like they are the person of higher value, they feel it is within their rights (and perhaps a just affirmation/ defense of system hierarchy) to treat them as they please.

I bring all this up because after reading your comments, I tried using it to analyze the system of Eol, Aredhel, and Maeglin, and the subsystems between them. We agree that as a whole, their family system is tense, unequal, and prone to violence (not necessarily the physical kind). Edit 1/1/23: everyone in the family is experiencing stressors, including Eol himself. The way he responds to these stressors is not healthy and has an impact on the subsystems of their family.

The subsystem of Aredhel and Maeglin is the easiest to analyze in some ways, and there's a wealth of knowledge to pick over. The two of them are emotionally close, open with each other, ally with each other (as in, we do not canonically see either of them display pecking order behavior in which one abuse victim then abuses someone less powerful in another subsystem), and seem to have similar power distance (aredhel is his mother, but she is not characterized as being domineering toward him, and has about as much systemic power as maeglin in comparison to eol, though eol treats maeglin worse initially, forming a subsystem I discuss next).

Eol and Maeglin form a fractious subsystem. It is characterized by high power distance, emotional isolation (see: not naming Maeglin until he was far along in childhood), and Eol regards him more as a possession than as someone worthy of his respect and basic dignity (see: the attempted murder). Resources is a more uniquely human concept, but Eol is the lord of Nan Elmoth, he exerts some control over the forest, he maintains his own staff and people, and he has the ability to forbid (and enforce) certain behaviors. Maeglin spends more time with his mother than father (out of the house too, if memory serves, though this may not be so odd for elves) and dreams of running away to Gondolin, and it seems to me that Aredhel's tales of Gondolin (ironically, a city-prison of another sort) are so sweet to him because of his current family situation.

Aredhel and Eol form the third and final subsystem. I think it is important to note here that many, if not most, abusive relationships begin well. At baseline, many abusers are adept at concealing red flag behaviors until they successfully lock down their victim. But I am more interested in exploring the family systems model of abuse here (Eol is often analyzed using the characteristics of a serial abuser, and while some people fit that model, in combination with the terrible handling of race and culture in this arc, brute caricatures, and white damsels, I think it does more to reinforce an over-done reading that leans into rather than away from Tolkien's biases).

As you so rightly mention, Aredhel and Eol begin their relationship with a certain degree of love. We can see some differences in power, agency, and respect from the start - I am reminded of Eol enchanting the woods to draw Aredhel in. However, this is a storytelling device common to fairy tales, even ones intended to be read romantically, and because I am a huge lover of the Ballad of Tam Lin I must be honest with myself and admit that this alone can be taken as a stylistic choice and not an indicator of purely evil intentions.

The difference in power only grows as Eol forbids Aredhel to visit the lands of the Noldor; this puts her in a difficult bind, as she is also not welcome in the largest kingdom of the Sindar. In general, controlling someone's movements indicates a paternalism and lack of respect that it's difficult to build a healthy relationship on. Now, initially they do go about exploring together, and I think this is something that would have endeared Eol to Aredhel, something she would have enjoyed, something they could have found common ground in, and something that perhaps reminded her of old friends like Celegorm. As their relationship degrades, we see mentions of that closeness, emotional openness, and equity of station disappear. Now Eol goes about his business, Aredhel concerns herself with their son, and they wait until Eol is gone to flee.

On the topic of why people agree to the demands of abusive or otherwise toxic partners, when interviewed many people say that they would like to stay with their partner but that they just want the abuse/hurtful behavior to stop. Now, it's not always possible to achieve that, but many people love their abusers. They make excuses to themselves, their families, and to the medical and legal system to protect them. We cannot discount the impact fear, threats, isolation, and lack of resources have on this behavior, but it would be wrong to dismiss the emotional attachment many people feel. I believe this is a valid reason why Aredhel would initially entertain Eol's demand that she not travel in noldor lands (additionally, she has only had experience with her brother at this point, and Turgon eventually relented and let her go, so perhaps she thinks she can eventually wear Eol down into relaxing his restrictions). It would also explain why she pleads twice to save Eol's life.

Now, I think their relationship, even before Maeglin was (lovingly) conceived, was poised to fall apart. Eol cannot get past his opinions of the noldor, and while those opinions are not incorrect and are, on their own, valid to hold, he marries a noldor woman and has a half-noldor child with her. I think a certain lack of trust in Aredhel, and lack of respect for her cultural background, lays the foundation for his abuse of their son. I read some excellent meta recently about the functional impact of the Quenya ban, and the writer posed that by banning Quenya, the language and culture was associated with kinslayers - thusly, anyone who wanted to participate in political life in Beleriand (which required peace and intergroup co-operation) would have to disavow not just the kinslayings (despite being overwhelmingly kinslayers themselves) but also there heritage. I can see this kind of mentality come out strongly in Eol's treatment of Maeglin: he is concerned that Aredhel teaching Maeglin about her family is like a poison to him, that any faith he has in his wife's good nature or his own ability to parent effectively and teach Maeglin about his own culture is overwhelmed by the canker of noldorin culture.

I think this further corroborates your claim that their relationship slowly degrades from good to bad, because I don't think Aredhel would have tolerated that initially, and if we follow LaCE I'm not sure conceiving Maeglin would be possible with the degree of animosity we see toward the end of their relationship. But I might push a little on the idea that the relationship between Aredhel and Eol was healthy up until the birth of Maeglin. I think the introduction of Maeglin to the family, the creation of two new subsystems, the shift and echo of power within the system, all combine to catalyze abuse. But a loving relationship does not equal a healthy relationship, and loving and being loved by someone does not mean that you have a true, deep respect for each other. It is fully possible to be in love with someone, care deeply about them - and be unable to relate meaningfully to them, or understand their fears or needs. This is how I perceive Aredhel and Eol's relationship almost up until the moment she flees from him.

Now I have some loose end thoughts. Regarding the impact of Eol's parenting on Maeglin, there is some interesting research on chronic fear in children that I refer to now. Chronic (prolonged, or recurring) fear in children causes a host of acute and chronic issues later, both physiological and psychological. Blood sugar, stress hormone levels, sleep health, capacity for and strength of emotional attachment, attention span, short and long term memory, sociability and antisocial behaviors, and rage are all negatively impacted by experiencing chronic fear. Fear is a word that has certain connotations in people's minds, but in this context it can mean anything from living in a war zone, to experiencing abuse, to being bullied or growing up being discriminated against for any reason, to being food or housing insecure, to being routinely disciplined in an illogical/punitive manner. Not all sources of fear are imminent physical threats (there is a reason it is a separate and unique felony crime, for example, for a child to witness abuse taking place even if the child is technically safe).

So we can look at all this and apply this to how we think Maeglin thinks, feels, and interacts with the world considering his poor relationship with his father, the disintegrating relationship between his father and mother, his introduction to gondolin (and losing both parents), and then the discrimination he faces within Gondolin. He moves from one system of fear to another system of fear, and the irony is that his father couldn't stand him for his mother's heritage and the Gondolindhrim judge him for his father's. I think in some ways, Nan Elmoth and Gondolin are reflections of each other, and what happens when xenophobia, isolationism, and fear come into play.

Something else that came to mind while writing was that different groups of Sindar view the Noldor differently. Doriath views them as a challenger to the rule of Beleriand, and this is evident in how Thingol speaks of his kingship and the laws he makes. Some Sindar go with Turgon to Gondolin - though the ruling class, and the historians like Penlodh are all Noldor, so while Maeglin was not entirely alone in Gondolin, he still was not truly free, and the historical record after his death is most definitely biased. the Sindar in the north see the Noldor as allies - though again, similarly to the Sindar that took Turgon as their Lord, or the Edain immediately swearing to elvish Lords, I see Tolkien's bias and racial hierarchy creeping in here to determine "logical" progressions of events. I think all of this contributes to a very tense environment in Beleriand, between the noldor and the sindar, between different groups of sindar, etc etc, and different groups would likely have different fears/reactions to the Noldor. I think Eol was poised, with his cultural trauma, for his marriage to fail. And he is mentioned in connection to Thingol, not Círdan, so his cultural and political context comes into play here. Additionally, we have no idea how old he is. Thingol (and Círdan too iirc) is old enough to remember the Teleri that left for Valinor; this is speculation, but Eol could be as well, which would at least contextualize his intense reaction to the kinslayings as an even more personal grief.

This was a very long free-form way of processing what I think about Eol, and I think I can safely say I find him more interesting as a character now. I really wanted to like him! I tried so hard! I can find something to like about almost every character in the legendarium (even if it's just a "wow that is such an interesting/stimulating way to build characterization"). And I think I can do that with Eol now. I think there's so much to explore re: Nan Elmoth, his skill as a smith, and his relationship with the dwarves.

I actually think it was you that posted about Feanor and Eol being similar, and the thought crossed my mind again as I was writing this up, firstly because of their similar passions, but also because I think they respond to stress, fear, and grief in a similar way. Neither of them handle it well, and they take it out on the people around them. In fact, I think it's great to contrast these two. On the one hand, we have Feanor, grieving his mother, his father, the last bit of stability in Valinor, and feeling like he doesn't belong in that society, that he's tainted, and that everyone secretly hates him (Morgoth's brain worms aren't helping). On the other hand, we have Eol, who is grieving the murder of his kinsfolk, and who views the arrival of the noldor as the colonization and the potential obliteration of his people (a valid fear to have, and corroborated by those princes of the noldor who cross the sea not to fight Morgoth but to obtain kingdoms of their own). And of course, the threat of imprisonment in Gondolin for life is the last straw, and very important in my mind when considering what Eol does next.

It just came to mind, but you could perhaps draw a parallel between Eol trying to kill Maeglin as a perverse mercy killing to spare him the pain of being an outcast in Gondolin, and Denethor trying to burn himself and Faramir alive to prevent their remains from falling into the hands of the Enemy. Eol has a certain love for his son, and unfortunately it's the killing kind.

Again, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me, and I'm in agreement with you! It was really helpful to hear your thoughts. In a way, it was kind of freeing to hear you say Eol was kind of crap? The last conversation I had (years ago) with someone about Eol and transformative works, I got the distinct sense that they thought anything less than a fully exculpatory reading of Eol (and reworking the narrative to place the blame of Aredhel's death on "an accident" or "getting between Turgon's men and Eol") was not good enough to repair the narrative. And don't get me wrong! I actually really enjoy AUs and canon divergence, and this arc is no exception!

But sometimes I like to stick closer to canon, and pick apart the biases in the narrative and how they're impacting the characters, especially in an arc that is tied so closely to those characters. I had a pretty firm grasp of the biases at play, but I didn't have as good a handle on the dynamic between Eol and Aredhel and that really tripped me up when I considered possible adaptations to their arc.

My final thought is that I hate having the only character of XYZ background be the villain. I think the way I can potentially get around that is that because it's easier to repair Maeglin's narrative, it's easy for me to make Maeglin sympathetic. As you said, Eol is sympathetic, and nuanced, but also kind of a shitty guy. Whereas Maeglin is sympathetic, nuanced, does some things are are Not Well Adjusted, but also imminently likable once the narrative biases are stripped away. Most of Maeglin's "Crimes" in the narrative are like "he was in love with his cousin, but he was respectful and didn't say anything about it, but she was a mindreader and found out anyway," and "wow he's so close to the king, that's suspicious (even though they're blood related and that's not a red flag at all)" and "he gave up the city ... to gain his cousin as a prize ... but he was tortured first, so maybe it was the torture that really sealed the deal, not the cousin-loving?" Sorry, abrupt departure from academic language into dark humor. But yeah. Fully fleshing out both of these characters - and maybe including some of the sindar of Gondolin and Nan Elmoth as OC's even? - is maybe the way to go.

#Eol #Maeglin #Aredhel #Sindar #Nolofinweans #Gondolindhrim #meta #cosmic-walkers #tol-himling #long post

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crippleprophet · 1 year

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homegrown health literacy part 0: mac is Just Some Guy, i swear

hello and welcome to my Just Some Guy disclaimer! if you’re seeing this on your dash / my blog / etc organically, the context is i will be delving into more posts on health literacy soon, and want to be transparent about my qualifications and lack thereof, positionality, goals, etc, so i’m creating this post to link back to.

most importantly, i am not trying to misrepresent myself as an authority on healthcare, disability, medical research, or your experiences. rather, i am trying to disrupt the positioning of healthcare professionals as authorities. i absolutely understand that i’m not capable of meeting everyone’s access needs (although please let me know about other people & organizations’ work that i can promote!) but i want to do what i can to empower people to understand their own healthcare in order to better self-advocate or have others advocate for them.

so! as i often say, i am Just Some Guy on the internet - i’m not a healthcare professional and have not been one in the past, i don’t know everything, and i especially don’t know all of the particulars of your situation. i don’t want people to be forced to take their doctors at their word because of inaccessible healthcare information and societal ableism; this doesn’t mean i think every word out of your doctor’s mouth is necessarily a lie.

it’s also important to note that i support & affirm people’s decisions not to learn more about their healthcare, question their doctor’s statements and decisions, etc. rather, i want us to live in a society where such decisions are made from a place of informed consent & genuine desire to limit engagement in one’s healthcare, not from social pressure to defer to medical “authorities” which makes doing otherwise unfathomable.

with all of that being said, if you’re interested in my experience with these topics, i’ll list the info i feel is relevant without doxxing myself lol. i’d like to note that i deeply respect independent researchers and self-taught (or often more accurately, community-taught) community advocates; just because my experience is within academia doesn’t mean that’s the only or the best way to learn these skills, and it often if not always instills biases against disabled people (among many other issues).

bachelor’s of science in biomedical engineering including courses on biomechanics, biomaterials, and other healthcare topics taught by a former medical school professor

half of a master’s degree in biomedical engineering (15/30 credits or 5 classes) before having to drop out for health reasons, including a course on rehabilitation engineering taught by a former medical school professor

research focus on low-cost mobility aids, including for my undergraduate senior project. i received a national undergraduate research award and multiple grants from my university for research projects

National Science Foundation Research Experience for Undergraduates (NSF REU) participant; i was paid for ten weeks of full-time research on a project related to healthcare and mobility. my boss was a licensed physical therapist and physical therapy professor with a doctorate in neuroscience

master’s degree in disability studies; i conducted individual interviews and focus groups with disabled people for my thesis

my girlfriend of 6 years who i live with is a third-year medical student (as of february 2023) and we regularly discuss (and critique) her course material, in addition to me asking her to review information i’m unsure about

8 years & counting of lived experience with chronic pain, chronic illness, & medical neglect. i’ve spent about 5 ½ years in disability spaces and learning from other disabled people in person & virtually, and my gf & i have dedicated significant time to researching my symptoms and test results for almost two years (in addition to retroactively researching previous procedures & diagnoses while unable to access care for a few years)

you’re welcome to dm me or send an ask if you have any questions! some information that would super indicate my identity i’m not comfortable sharing, but questions about learning particular research skills etc i’m happy to answer

#mac.txt #homegrown health literacy

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pandanscafanfiction · 11 months

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Hi! 3, 10, 35? 🌿😊

3: are there any specific themes you enjoy exploring in your fics?

Hmmmm.... usually the theme is always surrounding a romance or a conflict of romance. A lot of people dislike the romanticization of love or they find people who write homosexual romance are "sexualizing" it but I find that I love the "thought" or the "romanticization" of love and physical affection and it is what i really focus on and becomes the center of all my fics. The real me in real life is very uncomfortable and unwanting of physical intimacy and physical affection due to things that have happened to me years ago, not too long after i graduated high school. To put it shortly, i was put in multiple sexual situations by two different men at my old place of work that I could not escape from. I haven't been the same since then and though i do go to therapy now, it is a slow-going process. It is why all of my fics are only m/m or m/m/m pairings. I can't bear the thought of writing a heterosexual romance and even today I can't really read them either, mostly... Nowadays I'm attempting. I'm only just now starting to try thanks to a few other lovely HL writers who write MCs as gender nuetral as possible and that's nice because I can picture the genetals MC has to my desires or mental health capacity at each individual moment. Sorry- this one was a long one and probably not what you were expecting... 😅 Basically, I write mostly centered all around love and physical romance to make up for the lack thereof in my real life and (and I don't like putting it like this but it's true) feel normal since none of these things bring me pleasure anymore.

10: what's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

Oh, DEFFINITELY the diologue! Every draft of a fic I write, I only write diologue. I go in with some desire of where I want it to go overall, but otherwise these characters really do just write themselves. I love how they interact with one another whether it be angsty or silly. ❤️ Then all I do is fill out the scene around them or their feelings/actions to go along with their words 😊 I REALLY love dialogue.

35: what do you enjoy most about being a fic writer?

The lovely comments!!! I read and respond to each and every one because I am so thankful that people take the time to read my work and it really encourages me to keep writing when I know they are also having just as good of a time with the fic as me (most of the time they are having even more fun than me lol)! It also helps me judge/scale whether i'm doing a good job making the physical intimacy sound good and realistic/believable since i have no range of my own for a base. But I also love the community in general. I rarely get into something as deeply as I am with HL. The only others in life were FFXV a few years back and Naruto when I was in middle/high school 😅 but when I do, I love all the memes/content from the other creators and getting to know them as well.

Thanks for the asks! @silasbug ❤️ it made my day ❤️

#asks #ask reply #i love doing these #its been forever!

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shawneeleighc · 1 year

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In light of the recent interview with GP who shared a typical day in her life meals edition, or lack thereof, I wanted to let you know its OK. Its ok if you had a moment where you questioned whether you should try it. It's ok if you felt triggered by it. It's ok if you thought about going back to your eating disorder or disordered eating (eg, constant dieting).

We can feel all of this, we can even miss our eds at times. But we're not going to go back to them because we know that they're not good for us and we need to do what's best for ourselves.

The way you look is going to change. Your skin, your hair, your face, your body. It's all going to change with the normal fluctuations of life and aging. So surely, the goal of health and wellness shouldn't be a look.

We shouldn't be aiming to be as small as possible, to only eat 'clean' and as little as possible, or to exercise only to burn off calories or meals.

The focus should be on how you feel mentally and physically.

It's genuinely concerning when someone who has such an influence and following is promoting disordered eating and extremes in the name of health & wellness.

So, I want to let you know that you do not need to follow in her footsteps. You do not need to go to extremes. You do not need to take part in an industry that takes advantage of our insecurities and profits off of it.

If you want to pursue health, do it. By all means, invest in yourself and your health. But make sure you're using the right methods.

I want to remind you:

- Your worth does not lie in your appearance, weight or shape.

- You will not suddenly love yourself if you loose weight.

- Your main purpose in life isn't to be as small as possible.

- You deserve to be happy & healthy, whatever that looks like for you.

- There is no one size fits all when it comes to health.

- Quick fixes/diets do not work in the long run and contribute to unhealthy relationships with food and our bodies.

- It's not a dream body if it's a nightmare to maintain.

Hold onto these reminders and know that you're too good and life's too short to waste on being miserable and missing out on memories and relationships you deserve to have.

Follow my insta for daily content @shawnee_leighc ❤️

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stellasaeculum · 2 years

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Oof (the about me intro)

Been a long time since I was over here on Tumblr, but since the bird app has been taken over by a comic book villain and the ice age app is clunky, here I am. Granted I've kinda missed Tumblr and all the fandoms, lol.

I reckon I'll make an introduction for anyone that stumbles upon me and didn't find me from the bird app first.

The Mundane Stuff

As far as the mundane goes, I'm the mother of a 16-year-old, live in the rural United States, am 36, am pansexual, and use she/her pronouns. I speak English fluently, conversational Spanish (although I'm out of practice), and bits & pieces of several other languages.

My major in college was Business Admin/Marketing and my minor was Psychology with a focus on Abnormal Psychology. I'm a huge advocate for human & social rights, so I tend to land on the left of the political spectrum although I consider myself an Independent. Fighting for equity, justice, and equality are passions of mine.

I’m on the Autism spectrum & have Bipolar 1 and PTSD. I wasn’t diagnosed with ASD until I was in my 30s, developed PTSD in my 20s, and have been dealing with Bipolar since I was 14. As such, I’m also a huge advocate for mental health awareness, mental wellness, and neurodivergence acceptance. In addition, I also have three autoimmune diseases so my physical health is kind of a train wreck, lol.

I love animals of all kinds, music from many genres, fantasy/horror novels & movies, history (especially the 18th Century), and learning about different cultures. Cultural anthropology is of huge interest to me and what I initially intended to get a degree in, but life has a funny way of throwing curveballs.

Beliefs

I've been studying different belief systems and schools of thought for over 23 years, and I've been blessed to have had the chance to talk with religious leaders, teachers, and mentors of various cultures and beliefs.

Most of what I believe is based on quantum physics and my own intuition, along with many years of studying philosophy, psychology, the sciences, & world religions, both historical and modern. As far as my own theosophical beliefs go, I consider myself an Omnist. I can find truths in any path (or lack thereof), but I don’t think any of them are 100% correct.

Esoteric Stuff

Time for the weird shit.

The tl:dr is that I'm an alien stuck in a defective meat bag. Yeah, I know it sounds absolutely batshit, but I promise I’m very sane.

I’m an interdimensional, or what the new agers like to call a “starseed.” Basically, my soul doesn’t originate here but I’m old af and incarnate down here on 3D Earth from time to time to help out & learn things. While down here, for all intents and purposes, I’m human. I deal with my crappy health, pay my bills, get stuck in traffic, waddle around looking for toilet paper, etc. Granted I’m one with some unique gifts.

I was born with the ability to read & manipulate energy, and have known since I was a small child that I'm an interdimensional. Back then, we didn't have words like "starseed," so I just told people I was an alien stuck on Earth in a human body. As you can imagine, that went over well, lmao.

I’m not necessarily a healer, although all of us that work with energy are healers in one way or another. I'm more of a steward if I have to be lumped into one of the stereotypical groups. I keep an eye on stuff, pass insights to people, and neutralize/balance energy. I can do quite a few other things that involve manipulating energy (what others usually call magick or alchemy), but I typically don't. After all, you never know when you could be interrupting someone's karma and everything comes with a price.

The biggest thing I do is keep an eye on other interdimensionals both incarnated and not, and try to stop the spread of misinformation from bad sources. Which is a massive pain in my ass when it comes to other “starseeds” that aren’t actually interdimensionals. Nobody is “chosen,” nobody is more “special” than anyone else, and nobody is part of this stupidass 144,000 thing I keep seeing. Those of us down here are here, as I said, to help and to learn, and most importantly, we volunteered for it. A lot of the crap I’ve seen people spewing is rooted in n*zism and eugenics, which is not effin cool.

Tarot Stuff

Tarot and astrology to me are tools that I like having in my arsenal but don’t necessarily need. It’s sorta like, if I was taking a road trip and had a traffic forecast, map, and GPS, then astrology would be the traffic forecast and tarot would be the GPS. I can get where I’m going with my energy reading “map” just fine, but they help speed up the process.

I throw tarot for donations in my downtime and have read for people around the world. With my extra kick of energy reading, it adds a significant “oomph” to what I can do. You can see my suggested donations and book a reading here if you’re interested.

#tarot #astrology #starseed #interdimensional #autism #ptsd #bipolar #aliens

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embarkbehavioralhealth · 1 year

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Ask a Therapist: How Do You Identify Eating Disorders in Adolescence?

“How do you identify eating disorders in adolescence? I think my child has one.” Eating disorders can have a destructive impact on the physical and mental health of teens, affecting not only adolescent girls but also boys. According to the American Psychiatric Association, disordered eating usually develops during adolescence and young adulthood and most often affects females ages 12 to 35. While eating disorders may have different symptoms, there are warning signs that parents can look out for when examining their child’s relationship with food.  So how can you identify eating disorders in adolescence and help your child? Chase Kerrey, a licensed professional counselor and chief clinical officer at the Embark Behavioral Health outpatient clinic in Phoenix, Arizona, shared some insights.  Types of Eating Disorders  Eating disorders are behavioral conditions characterized by abnormal or disturbed eating habits.  “Humans need food as a basic building block of life. Adolescents struggling with eating disorders treat food as a coping skill or means of control — either in its consumption or lack thereof — rather than as a source of survival, enjoyment, and nutrition,” Kerrey said.  While there are several types of eating disorders, the three most common are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder:  - Anorexia nervosa: Individuals fear gaining weight and have a negative view of their body or body image. In some cases, they may purge or throw up meals to combat weight gain, resulting in weight loss. - Bulimia nervosa: Individuals often struggle with binging behaviors or overeating. They then engage in “corrective” compensatory behavior, such as purging, using laxatives or diuretics, fasting, or overexercising.  - Binge eating disorder: Individuals overeat but don’t engage in compensatory behaviors. Binge-related eating behaviors are associated with eating an amount of food that is disproportionately large compared to what’s usually considered normal.  Identifying Eating Disorders in Adolescence  Based on Kerrey’s experience, teens struggling with disordered eating tend to view their self-worth in binary terms like good or bad. They’re also inclined to focus on their weight and physical appearance when perceiving their self-worth.  Additional warning signs of adolescent eating disorders include: - Dental cavities. - Eating large amounts of high-fat foods and sweets. - Eating in secret. - Eating more food at a meal than is considered the norm. - Skipping meals. - Visiting the bathroom soon after a meal. - Showing disgust at their eating habits. - Excessive exercise. - Irregular menstrual cycles. Medical complications resulting from eating disorders could be serious and include: - Inability to maintain a healthy weight. - Constipation. - Fainting. - Disappearance of menstrual cycles. - Hair thinning. What Causes Eating Disorders in Adolescence? The root causes of eating disorders often vary from person to person. However, Kerrey said there seems to be a connection between the disorders and unresolved emotional problems and mental illness, such as low self-esteem, anxiety disorders, and depression.  He recalled that many clients believed achieving their ideal body weight or chosen caloric intake would lead to a better life. “They believe their eating disorder will give them something they have not yet learned to obtain naturally, such as confidence, peace, self-esteem, attention, or worth,” Kerrey said. What Should You Do if You Suspect Your Child Has an Eating Disorder? If you suspect your child is dealing with disordered eating, Kerrey advised you avoid downplaying the issue, because it’s not just about eating food.  “In reality, adolescents struggling with eating disorders need help in addressing the underlying or unaddressed emotional struggles they face on the inside as much as any kind of weight-restoration measure,” he said.  When you go to talk to your child, remember that eating disorders typically thrive in the dark. Your teen may not want to discuss their behavior. Kerrey suggested approaching your child in a way that shows your concern. “If your adolescent knows that you perceive that something is amiss — that you’re not going to be dissuaded from asking questions and that you won’t disengage until you figure out what’s going on — then, chances are, they will give you a better idea of what’s going on,” he said.  If you believe your child is indeed using food as a coping mechanism or means of control, seek the opinion of a trained licensed professional, such as a psychologist or licensed professional counselor.  For Kerrey, a good rule of thumb is to associate a teen’s level of “stuckness” with their need for support. Adolescents are allowed to have a bad day or week from time to time. However, when you notice a pattern of emotional avoidance and/or problematic behavior or demonstrating emotion or behavior outside the norm for a period of time — it may be a sign your child can’t course correct on their own.  What Is the Treatment for Eating Disorders in Adolescence? Treating your child’s eating disorder, Kerrey explained, involves treatment on two fronts: physiological and psychological restoration.  - Physiological restoration: Adolescents with eating disorders often need to reestablish a healthy relationship with food while restoring healthy body weight. These tasks are best done with the help of a registered dietitian.  - Psychological restoration: Dialectical behavior therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy can help adolescents learn alternative coping skills that will replace their eating disorder behaviors. - Dialectical behavior therapy, also known as “talk therapy,” strives to change negative thinking patterns and promote positive behavioral changes. - Cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on changing thought patterns and how an individual responds to difficult situations. - Acceptance and commitment therapy helps people accept difficulties and commit to changing their behavior. Therapy can take place individually and in group settings. An intensive outpatient program involving group therapy a few hours a day a few days a week is often used to help young people. If outpatient treatment is not successful, short-term residential treatment where your child lives in a treatment center may be necessary. If there are serious medical complications, inpatient hospitalization may be required to stabilize your teen. In that case, upon discharge, partial hospitalization or short-term residential care may follow. How Can You Support Your Child During Recovery? To best support your teen, Kerrey noted it’s important you keep in mind how they’re feeling about what they’re experiencing. “Many adolescents struggle with significant regret surrounding the development of their eating disorder, both in terms of the impact the addiction has had on themselves and their surrounding family,” he said. By the time they receive treatment, most adolescents wish they could have chosen an alternative path before their behaviors became a habit.  Recognize recovery from eating disorders can be difficult, and practice compassion with your teen. For example, if you see they're feeling guilty, tell them that you could see how this is difficult for them and you're here for them anytime they want to talk. Helping Your Teen: Your Next Steps  Parents often have a hard time identifying eating disorders in adolescence and addressing the issue. The good news is, you can seek health professionals who can help your child recover physically, avoid harmful eating behaviors, and feel better about themselves and their body shape.  To find a mental health provider or treatment center near you specializing in eating disorders, you can use the Psychology Today search tool. Related Posts - Ask a Therapist: How Do I Find a Good Therapist for My Teenager? - What Does It Mean to Be a “Normal” Teenager? - How to Talk to Your Teenage Daughter Without Losing Your Mind. - 4 Essential Strategies for Parenting a Teenage Girl with a Mental Illness. - How Your Teen’s Mental Health Is Related to Their Gut Health. Read the full article

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