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reliablenarrators · 18 days

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kissing the kiss quotient goodbye

the kiss quotient (2018) by helen hoang. 24.04.2024

the kiss quotient is filled with sex. lots of it. so much that it’s mind boggling that it won the goodreads romance award when really, it’s just smut with a dash of autism representation. the smut is more cringe than hot and there are way more scenes than necessary. like, at one point michael, our martial arts boy of the story, says “you're milking my fingers stella” and well, just no. no, thank you. and sure, maybe it’s sweet, but it’s also a hell of a turn off if someone calls your pussy a sweet potato or a little bird. ladies, try it out on the guys when you’re in the sheets and get back to us on how successful it is. (we have an hypothesis)

but back to the beginning. in the kiss quotient we meet stella, a 30 year old successful woman working as an econometrist in silicon valley (and let’s just here take a moment of silence for how obvious it is that the author is not a mathematician by how stella is portrayed like a stereotypical brainiac). and why oh why is this book called the kiss quotient when there’s no mention of any kiss quotients, i guess coherency is too much to ask for.

the maths part isn’t important, but what’s really important for the plot is that stella is autistic and hasn’t really told anyone outside of her close family - consisting of her mother and father and like every only child (and autistic adult apparently) ever, she doesn’t have any friends. but luckily, she’s uber rich and is capable of buying a tesla for every time michael comes up with a new nickname for her pussy. and have we mentioned that her mother is weirdly obsessed with trying to marry off her strong independent daughter (who really don’t need no man!) so stella and michael meet each other because she hires him as an escort wanting to learn how to fuck. she has experience, but only with jerks (but which men in their twenties are not?!). so is this reverse pretty woman really giving hashtag slaying the day away, or?

and of course, stella’s autism can just be ‘solved’ by some very good shagging by michael. i think we should all try that next time we’re feeling anxious. it’s a curiously problematic take on an autistic character from an author who herself is diagnosed with autism.

the miscommunication trope is on full throttle here, although very badly executed. early on, when michael’s sweet cousin (whose name slips our mind, but he’s cute and probably more of the ideal man we all want) notices it, michael lets stella know that he knows in a very sweet lowkey way to which she acknowledged it. later on, it gets turned into this big reveal and they have a huge fight about it and as a reader you just kinda want to skip through to the end.

the point of view changes throughout the story completely forgetting our main character and the book ends up revolving around michael’s daddy issues instead of stella’s autism because her autistic traits have magically disappeared at michael’s touch. that’s what love will do to ya. so the whole premise of autism representation and stella being a girl boss just falls a bit flat when michael is the knight in shining armour who has so much more wisdom and experience than stella and how all her issues are solved by love and sex (where did the girl boss go?). and then we have phillip, her one dimensional jerk coworker, whose only contribution to the plot is being the villain michael can save her from.

is michael hot? well, not in our top 3 over book boyfriends. very forgettable (which doesn’t say much in bridget’s case). he’s sweet and cute and a good brother who cooks for his whole family which consists of his mum, many sisters and some more we forgot. the banter he has with his family is cute, so adorably written that whatever daddy issues he has gets forgotten by us and the author herself - and when it does finally get revealed it’s really fucking boring. come up with something original for once! we think he should have had it way worse for him to act so sulky.

in the end, the kiss quotient is really just another booktok dark romance book in the sea of tiktok books. that it has been turned into somewhat of a franchise tells you everything about the publishing industry nowadays and nothing about complex female characters. we all like to read cheesy chickflicks, that’s the reason we wrote this, but perhaps we should raise the standards, girlies. if anyone can recommend a good fun, romance that’s not about dorky girls and creepy men and their toxic relationship, please do let us know.

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olivia200312 · 3 years

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Accident~ RID2015! Optimus x Human! Reader

Plot: Y/N got into an accident in her house.

So, this is a true one-shot. This is NOT a lie. I got into an accident this morning. I woke up normally like every other human but when I wanted to move my head, I felt a massive intense pain at the back of my neck and head area. When I stood up, I felt dizzy. I moved a bit but it got so worse that I wanted to lay back down. But I collapsed and my face made contact with the floor. Luckily not hard but I did get a bloody nose. I felt very hot and was pale. But this all stopped when I laid down and slept a bit. My grandmother called my mom and she arrived s fast she can. The ambulance was called and they took me to the hospital. They checked my health and I was allowed to go. I also bit my lip a little bit hard so it's swollen when I fell. I wear a case around my neck and have to take it easy. This all happened on July 16th.

This continues after You're No Alone and Author! Check them out!

Author: one-shot where I became a self-published author on July 10th.

You're Not Alone: on February 5th, my grandfather passed away.

Head area:

Brain: Processor / Brain Module

Head: Helm

Face: Face plate

Ears: Audio receptors / Receptor Orifice / Audials

Nose: Enstril / Olfactory Sensor

Eye brow: Optical Ridge

Eyes: Optics

Mouth: Intake

Lips: Dermas

Teeth: Denta/Dentas

Tongue: Glossa

Chest area:

Chest: Chassis / Thoraxal Cavity

Back: Hexa-Lateral Scapula

Spine: Bipedalism cord / Back Strut

Chest and back armour:

Chest plate

Back plate

Mid-section plating

Neck guard

Side plating

Arm area:

Arms: Arms / Restarlueus

Forearms: Bitarlueus

Hands: Servos

Fingers: Digits

Arm armour:

Gantlets

Shoulder pads

Arm guard

Lower area:

Pelvis: Pelvis

Butt: Aft / Skid-Plate

Thighs: Tibulen

Calves: Cadulen

Feet: Pedes - the high heel bits are called Struts or Heel Struts.

Lower armour:

Skirt plates

Aft plate / Skid plate

Thigh guard

Ankle guard

General/Internal components:

Muscles: Cables / Pistons - It depends on the area in question.

Veins: Fual lines

Stomach: Tanks

Lungs: Vents - used to stop the con/bot from over heating.

Heart: Spark

Tattoos: D-con/A-bot Insignias and the lark

T-Cog: The thing that allows all Cybertronians to transform, be that their arms or their whole body.

Bonus:

Penis: Spike

Vagina: Valve

Body: Frame

-----------------------------------------------------

The alarm clock went off through Y/N's phone. She groaned and reached to put it off. Just as she wanted to move her head, she felt an intense massive pain at the back of her neck and head area. The pain was so intense and aggressive that it paralyzed Y/N to move. She nearly cried because it was very painful! But she managed to push the tears down. She moved her head very carefully. She then managed to stand up but she felt extremely dizzy and hot. She even was pale! Just as she grabbed her things like her phone, the charger, her wristwatch, and her headphones, it got far worse. She wanted to lay down again. She really tried to reach the bed but then... she collapsed. Her face made contact with the ground. It wasn't luckily hard, but she, either way, felt her nose drip out blood. She bit her lip a little bit hard that it will be sure swollen later. She even felt hot! Due to collapsing, she dropped her stuff, creating noises.

There were fast footsteps heard and the door of her bedroom opened. It was her grandmother. The poor woman looked panicked once she saw her granddaughter laying on the floor. "N/N, are you ok?" She immediately helped her up and made sure that she laid down on the bed.

"I f-feel weak."

The grandmother then saw blood drops on the floor, the carpet. She picked up her granddaughter's stuff that was dropped and laid them on the table. "I'll call your mother and clean the blood. Oh my god..." She immediately left the bedroom to call Y/N's mother and once it was done, she started cleaning to get the blood off. Once it was done, she sat down on Y/N's bed and kept an eye on her.

There were noises heard since Y/N's granny lived in an apartment. There was an elevator. Y/N heard the elevator clearly and it stopped on the floor where Y/N's granny lived. The doors opened and she entered the place. She immediately entered the bedroom. Her eyes widened when she saw her daughter in a weak state. "What happened?"

"I-I don't know. She collapsed on the ground. She has a high temperature."

That's when Y/N heard that her mother will call the ambulance. Oh no... Please no needles! Y/N didn't have enough strength to respond she took small naps until the ambulance arrived. It was two grown-up adult males. They were friendly. At that time, Y/N managed to sit up on her bed, her feet touching the carpet floor. She explained everything to the men while her family watched worriedly. They checked her blood pressure and her temperature. Like this one thing where you put your finger in. Y/N's temperature went down back to normal quite fast and she even stood up! She even moved and she felt no dizziness! Huh, looks like her body took the action quickly. Y/N wanted not to get tested but her mother wanted her to. God... She's an overprotective mother since she's single and loved her child dearly.

Y/N's grandmother helped her granddaughter to actually put her pants on before the ambulance arrived. She carefully stood up while the men made sure that she didn't collapse again. Y/N's mother packed like Y/N's phone, wallet, and the book she published. She had to wait for a few days to finally hold her book in her hands. What's stupid was that she had to pay for her own book instead of getting it for free since she's the author after all. The world was so stupid sometimes...

For the first time in her whole life, she rode in an ambulance car. One man was driving while the other was with Y/N, writing important information of Y/N's mother's card ID. Y/N herself was 17, almost 18. Let's just say that the accident happened on the day when her mother was supposed to come over and hand her daughter the book. It was honestly a very sad day for Y/N... She was excited to hold her book in her hands but look t that... a freaking accident.

The ambulance finally arrived at the hospital and Y/N was checked this time by a nurse. Everything went fine. The doctor came to check on her and Y/N explained everything. The doctor explained that the pain might be caused due to sleeping positions or other reasons. And the attack of dizziness, it could be caused by stress.

"Ever since my father's passing, she had a very hard time accepting that he's not here anymore. I see her constantly trapped with her feelings and emotions. She might have possible autism but it's not sure yet because the tests didn't happen yet. She even confessed that she wanted to commit suicide by taking pills. We are going to a psychiatrist but it doesn't help sometimes." When Y/N looked at her mother, she had a sad and soft look.

The doctor looked shocked by Y/N's mother's story. He couldn't help but feel sad for the teenage girl. She suffered a lot and still does. No one deserved to go through this, especially a kid. He looked to Y/N's mother and told her that it's better to continue to go to a psychiatrist. That's when Y/N was finally letten go with her mother. But however, before they can ride fully home, she heard her mother make an appointment with the doctor for a blood test. Oh, come on!

Later~

Optimus heard the news of what had happened. He got very worried when he heard that Y/N fainted. In his processor, he knew that it could be from the stress. Ever since her grandfather's passing, she never got better. She would cry for days, she didn't eat for 3 days which caused her to feel dizziness and headaches. She nearly landed in the hospital because of this. She started having trouble with her emotions and feelings. Not only that, but 2 months later after Y/N's grandfather's passing, her mother had a discussion with her, and guess what she found out, Y/N's other grandfather passed away on December 23th! Y/N never met her other grandfather before. She never saw him but she did saw how he looked from photos. His death was kept a secret for 2 FREAKING MONTHS! Y/N's father went to live in England with his new 'family'. Y/N's father did everything, especially paying the bills but he found out that his girlfriend had enough money to actually pay the bills! She lied the entire time! Y/N's father quickly broke up with her so he lived alone now. Y/N remembered the day very well when she heard the news that her other grandfather passed away in December. She cried. Yes, she may have never met him but she's sad that she lost someone that she could never meet. She wanted always to meet him! But he mysteriously disappeared after Y/N's parent's wedding day! Y/N had so many questions at that time. Had he ever heard of her? Did he know that he had a granddaughter? And many other questions. Y/N was right to be mad at her family. She was furious for days and there's still anger in her, she just doesn't show it. She rather keeps it hidden.

On the 3rd of July, just as summer vacation began, Y/N traveled to Poland with her mother. Since her grandfather passed away in Poland, both mother and daughter had difficulties traveling. Corona was still out there and the airports were controlling the passengers. You need to have important documents and proof that you are fully vaccinated or negative. Y/N was not vaccinated so she had to the test and let me tell you, it was disgusting! You know, the long thick thin stick in your nose to get the cells? Y/N's mother was also not vaccinated so she had to do the test as well. On the 4th of July; she went to visit her grandfather's grave. It was so painful... Y/N's mother believed that it would ease the pain, but she was so wrong, it didn't ease at all! Y/N wanted badly to talk to her grandfather alone but her two aunts and her mother stood close by. She didn't get privacy at all. She was mad. Y/N refused to eat for hours as well. But eventually, she came to eat when it was time for dinner.

2 days later, she returned back to the cemetery. She was alone this time with her mom. She had one minute of silence with her mother and FINALLY, Y/N got the privacy she needed. She must have at least talked for 1 hour to her grandfather's grave because she spoke a lot. She was thankful that her mom understood her. She said at the end her goodbyes and wanted to hug his grave, but she felt ashamed, shy, and embarrassed so she only touched the cross and cried. She cried the whole time.

At that time, Y/N was fighting was depression for months now. It was not easy due to the loss of a loved one instead of an animal. She missed of course her pet friends she lost, but with people was very different. When you lose someone for the first time, it's so painful. It can take a long time to get over with or part pain will stay forever inside of you. Depression cannot be 'cured' but you can control it with your power. It's not easy and it can be stressful, exhausting, and painful as well. Pain can be felt in your heart. What's one of the most important things to NOT ever do to a depressed person was yelling. It happened to Y/N. Her aunt, or her second mother, who lived in Poland, texted her and asked how she was doing. Y/N responded that she's fine. But she also told also that texted if she doesn't get better because of her possible autism or mental illnesses, then she will not go to work. But what Y/N's second mother send next, made Y/N mad. She responded like she doesn't have mental illnesses and that she needed only more explanation. Seriously? That made Y/N cry! Why was she reacting fast? Why was she quickly angry? Why was she having bad days? Why was she losing interest in her activities sometimes? Why had she dark thoughts? Why would she cry a lot? Why was she having trouble with emotions and feelings? Think about other symptoms. Those were clear signs of depression. According to an American's website where the experts knew everything about the loss of a loved one and what can happen further in the future if you don't get better in like 5-6 months after you lost someone, the chances were high that you had depression but it's important to go to a doctor where it helps you and asked questions. It's important, to tell the truth. once it was done, the doctor will finally give you the diagnoses that you were waiting for what's happening inside of you.

Y/N had to wait sadly. Still waiting. It can take up to almost 1 year or 2 to meet the doctor where the diagnoses can be finally revealed. She had possible autism as well. It was very possible Asperger's Syndrome. It's autism where people have difficulties communicating with other people but also having trouble understanding. The person can talk very well but sometimes can be quiet as a mouse too. People who have it were very unique. They even don't like to be touched all the time and don't like to make eye contact. Y/N's grandmother was the first one to notice the symptoms and told her daughter, Y/N's mother, to bring her to the doctor but Y/N's mother didn't notice anything until finally years later when her father passed away. So, they're on the waiting list. I mean, they had to be.

But anyway, Y/N's mother caught her daughter crying after she was done chatting with her second mother. Sometimes, Y/N doesn't want to talk about why she's crying but she's sometimes being pushed a little bit too hard which was not smart at all. When Y/N explained why, let's just say that later, Y/N's own mother, started to yell at her. Yes, Y/N had been fighting for months but seriously? Y/N wanted to scream and fight back but she couldn't! But when the fight was finally done, Y/N's heart was full of pain and felt hopeless as well. Y/N's mother should have never yelled at her! The results will be only crying! Sometimes, it can give results of an attack or worse...

Later~

Y/N walked carefully while not wearing a cervical collar around her neck. The doctor said that she didn't have to wear it all the time and recommended to at least sometimes move carefully her neck. Y/N felt pain sometimes but it's healing. She couldn't laugh hard, not yawn widely, etc. It was so annoying! She still couldn't forget her mother's yelling inside her head and those memories will probably haunt her. She already got her first corona vaccine and tomorrow, she needed to take a blood test because ever since the accident, her health was getting suspicious. Y/N decided to confront her mother at the doctor tomorrow and teach her a lesson that yelling at a depressed person was not smart at all. Now that she's a self-published author, she's busy writing about her life to inspire and teach others. Her mother needed to learn too.

"Sweetspark, when I heard about your accident, I was very worried," Optimus said, who randomly appeared behind her.

Y/N turned around fully to let her neck heal. "I am fine now. Just giving my neck time to heal. Sorry about worrying you..." She felt ashamed.

Optimus wrapped her arms around her waist, causing her to relax and lean gently against him. "Please remember that you're not alone, sweetspark. We all are here to help you. What your carrier did was not smart but I am proud of you that you'll confront her about it."

Y/N only hummed and couldn't help but smile when she felt him leaving soft kisses where she felt pain at her neck and head area. She giggled and Optimus smiled.

P.S. when Y/N became an author, only her second ex, her family, and her followers on Wattpad congratulated her. None of her friends did. Do you consider this disrespectful rude or heartless?

Yes, readers. Every detail left there is all the truth, including the yelling as well. I got the first shot of the corona vaccine and I feel still small pain but it's not bad luckily like the HPV vaccine I got once. So painfully... But my mother feared that soon the entire country will force everyone to get vaccinated, except kids under 12. Sorry to disappoint you all about the shot... The part at the end of my friends not congratulating me is also the truth :(. Darn blood test tomorrow! I have a phobia of needles...

#optimus prime x human reader #optimus prime #x human reader #x reader #reader #romance #tf rid2015 #rid2015 #transformers robots in disguise 2015 #transformers

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autisticpeterparkerheadcanons · 5 years

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They say if you can’t find content for something, then make it yourself, so here’s autistic!Peter Parker headcanons that literally no one asked for. I’ve seen some, but they all seem to be very similar, and I need MORE and also I have a different take on it, SO. (My brain that needs Categories for Things doesn’t know what to do with this exactly because it seems that a lot of people think the common labels are too ableist and I don’t disagree, so I’m calling this stealth!autism because it’s Not Obvious And Undiagnosed But Still Relevant, AKA me, lol.)

Under a cut because this monster weighs in at just over 2k words. Oops.

Also, ya know, a little bit AU because I hate that Tony sold the Tower. :P

Tony was the first to realize anything was different about the kid, after he started spending more time actively mentoring him after the Vulture fiasco.

It was small things at first. He didn’t think much about it. The first couple of months, most sarcasm went completely over the kid’s head (which, okay, Tony’s brand of humor isn’t really mainstream anymore, he thinks -- he doesn’t speak meme -- and maybe that was the problem because the kid does slowly catch on to it, and fewer and fewer awkward moments ensue as time passes). He stuttered and didn’t often make eye contact, but he wrote that off as more nerves than anything. He rambled about one topic non-stop sometimes, but he wrote it off as anxiety -- a need to fill the silence. His hands were always busy, if not with anything productive, then a constant fidgeting. Once again, probably just nerves.

But as time passed and Peter became decidedly more comfortable around him, none of those things disappeared. Maybe he stutters a little less, but nothing about his mannerisms changed. And the longer he knows Peter, the more little things come to his attention.

Peter has a hard time taking verbal instructions. It’s not that he’s not listening or focusing. It’s more like he just doesn’t...comprehend? process? It just doesn’t always stick. And that’s okay. Tony can work with that. He makes Peter repeat instructions to make sure he’s got it, or he writes it down if he can’t just show the kid himself. Everybody learns differently, after all. (Tony would know.)

Peter often stayed for dinner when he came to the Tower, and Tony noticed the things he liked to eat and the things he wouldn’t. “You don’t like mushrooms? Uncultured!” -- A shrug. “I don’t mind the taste, but I can’t stand the texture. Same goes for shrimp.”

(He files that information away for safe keeping. Do Not Make Shrimp.)

And, really that was just the start. The seemingly ‘little things’ piled up.

One night, after Peter had left, Tony was puzzling everything over. Trying to figure this oddly eccentric kid out. Pepper offered a listening ear.

“It sounds like he could be on the spectrum? It’s a lot of little things, but they add up. It fits.”

And, oh. That made sense actually. But... “Why would he not tell me that?”

“You’re still his hero. He probably doesn’t want you to think any differently of him.”

So Tony doesn’t say anything. There’s no tactful way to ask something like that, after all. Peter will tell him when he’s ready to -- if he ever is -- Tony figures. But until then, he’ll just keep adjusting. Life is probably hard enough to navigate, no need to make the workshop that way, too.

Peter doesn’t know. He’s always been aware that he’s different, sure, but he has Ned and -- more recently -- MJ as friends and (most of) the Decathlon team, so it’s okay. He doesn’t mind, not really.

(He didn’t present in the ‘normal’ ways when he was little, so, just like Tony, all the adults in his life wrote off the ‘little things’ as something else.)

And then everything happens and suddenly he’s spending a lot of time with the Tony Stark and getting to work in his lab with him, and if the Tony Stark does’t mind that he’s kind of weird and awkward, then he must not be that weird or awkward. Tony doesn’t interrupt his rambles or look annoyed by them. He doesn’t comment on the fidgeting or stuttering. Peter doesn’t know when the hero worship ended, but he thinks it probably had something to do with the sheer amount of patience the man has for him and his oddities.

(And, don’t get him wrong, Tony is still his hero, but it’s different now.)

Besides his aunt and Ned, he thinks Tony might just be the most comfortable person to be around.

Second semester starts, and he finds out he needs to take an elective instead of a free period in order to stay on track to graduate. Unfortunately there’s only one class that’ll fit in his schedule as is and he doesn’t really want to mess around with the placements of his other classes, so he ends up taking some sort of health class, but not the fun home-ec ones where you get to cook and eat the stuff you make. He’s not exactly dreading it, but he’s not looking forward to it either.

Instead of having an exam for midterms, they have a project, the topics assigned at random, things like depression and anxiety and ADHD. Peter’s topic is Autism Spectrum Disorder. Like most people his age, he has a vague idea of what that is, but he thinks it’ll be interesting to learn more about, so he’s at least not dreading doing research.

He starts with the basics, what it is and how it works and the ‘markers’ of how you can tell if someone is. Which leaves him vaguely confused. Because some of these things sound like him? But he’s not, so.

He ends up in forums, because he knows that the strictly medical side of things often doesn’t actually do it justice with how it is to actually live with something. On every forum he slogs though there’s always at least one thread about not being formally diagnosed at all or not until adulthood. And he always reads those because how could something like that get missed? But he quickly finds out it’s really pretty common (or, at least, more common than he thinks it should be).

He goes to blogs, too. Between the two, he finds a million and one things that people on the spectrum deal with that ‘official’ sites don’t tell you. Actual people relate what it’s actually like, and suddenly there’s this seed planted in his mind because holy crap does he identify with this and suddenly a lot of things make more sense.

He’s not sure how he gets there, but he ends up on an online AQ test and he takes it. He doesn’t technically score high enough, but he’s borderline (and the higher end of that, even, barely missing the lowest number, and if he’s honest, a couple questions he wasn’t entirely sure how to answer and that may have made a difference), and the site itself says, “89% of those who fall in the borderline category are diagnosed” and...

He doesn’t really know what to do with this information. He’s almost 16 and he’s old enough to understand this kind of stuff so surely if May knew she would have told him. But how the heck do you even ask about something like this? “Hey, May, am I autistic?” just wasn’t going to cut it. And if she didn’t know, that would be even more awkward. So he doesn’t. He buries the thought and ignores it the best he can.

But Tony notices because of course he does. He asks if Peter is alright and spends an awful lot of time staring at him with that expression no matter how many times he says he’s fine. Eventually, Tony does drop it with a quick “I’m always here to listen if you need to talk -- no judgment” and Peter appreciates that more than he’d like to admit, but just like with May, how the heck do you start a conversation like this one? So he still doesn’t.

For a while after, everything is fine. He turns in his project, gets an A on it, and he puts it out of his mind.

Finals pass, and summer vacation starts, which means he has more time to swing around Queens and more time to spend with Tony in the lab. This is going to be the best summer ever he’s pretty darn sure.

It’s late June, and Peter is staying the weekend because May is out of town and any excuse is a good one. AC/DC is playing over the lab’s speakers, just like normal, and he’s rambling about something when he suddenly becomes very aware that that’s what he’s doing, that he’s actually info-dumping, and -- he cuts off mid-sentence. Because he hasn’t thought about this in months, but it’s back again. What if...?

He zones out, he’s not sure for how long, but the music clicks off and suddenly Tony is sitting directly in front him, obviously concerned. Very concerned, because he’s not even trying to hide it. “Peter? What’s wrong?” No nickname? Tony is definitely on to him, and he’s not going to get away with saying ‘nothing’ this time. He stares down at his hands, and he can’t help but rub his fingers together (he doesn’t really have anything else to fidget with at the current moment so).

He’s very aware of the silence and that Tony is still waiting for an answer. But he doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything.

(To Tony’s credit, he doesn’t so much as shift or sigh. He just...sits and waits. He’s not usually such a patient man, but Peter is different. He can be endlessly patient with Peter. Pepper says it’s because Peter is practically his kid, and he’s not so sure about that, but whatever.)

The silence is uncomfortable and he can feel himself starting to panic, but he forces himself to breathe and try to unscramble his thoughts. Because whatever he says, he’s determined to not say it bluntly. There has to be a subtle way of asking...maybe...right? He’s determined to try, anyway.

In the end, he settles on a mumbled, “Mr Stark? Do you think I’m... different?”

(And Tony has to steel himself because he’s known for more than six months at this point and he’s just been waiting for this conversation so you’d better not mess this up, Stark.) “Maybe. But that’s not a bad thing. Normal people don’t accomplish things worth remembering.”

“You don’t think I’m...weird? or awkward?”

“You’re a teenager. ‘Weird’ and ‘awkward’ are kinda part of the job description.”

Peter almost smiles. He knows Tony is joking with him, but... “No, I mean....” He cuts off. He doesn’t know what he means, really, and trying to figure it out is exhausting. “I don’t know. Never mind. It’s not important.”

“If something is bothering you, that makes it important to me.”

Peter isn’t sure what to think of that, and silence drags on again.

For a hot minute, Tony thinks he blew it. But then Peter speaks up again, and when he finally starts, he rambles it all out and doesn’t even try to sort it out. He just...wants it out. “I just... I don’t fit in, Mr Stark, and I’ve always known that and I’ve been okay with that because I’m just me, ya know? And if other people don’t like me, that’s on them not me, or at least that’s what I’ve always been taught and everything, it’s just I’m weird and I know it, and I’m just...” There’s a pause, and he’s not sure Tony even hears what he ends with, “I think there’s something wrong with me.”

(At this point, Tony realizes that Peter probably didn’t have any idea until a couple of months ago. Oh. Well.)

When Tony replies, it’s not how Peter thinks he will. “Does this have something to do with that mid-term project you had to do?” He finally meets Tony’s gaze again, and Tony adds with a smile, “You were acting kinda like this then, too, kid.”

He looks back down at his hands and mumbles. “Autism. That’s what my project was on.”

“And you think you are?”

Peter can’t even find it in him to nod. He just...keeps staring at his hands and waits for the other shoe to drop because surely this is it, this’ll be the thing that’s too much on top of everything else, and Tony will boot him out because he doesn’t want to deal with it.

It’s only quiet for a moment before Tony says casually, “You wanna know who else is on the spectrum? Einstein. Or, I guess I should say was, but that’s irrelevant.”

Peter is looking at him again, because What???

Tony smiles at the look on Peter’s face. “I’m serious. People who know far more about it than I do say he probably was.” He shrugs. “So your brain works a little differently. So what? It just means that you’ll see answers no one else will. So the way I see it, that just means you’re gonna change the world, kid.”

Peter decides maybe he can live with this after all.

(They go back to work, the music clicks back on, and it’s a solid ten minutes before it dawns on Peter. His head snaps up and over to where Tony is working a few feet away, and says, “You already knew, didn’t you?”

Tony just laughs and says, “Pep guessed before I did really, but I guess you could say that. I’ve had a hunch since around Christmastime.”

And that puts him more at ease than anything yet. Tony knew and still treated him exactly the same as before. He decides maybe this is okay.)

(Not a week later, when Peter shows up at the Tower to work on stuff, he finds a box on his workbench. Inside are various fidget toys. All he can do is stare as Tony comes up beside him.

“Try ‘em out. Let me know what you like. That way I can have a stash because God knows you lose things like no one I’ve ever known.” It’s all said with a fond smile, and Peter knows it’s true -- he does lose things like crazy.

Peter decides he likes the cubes, and Tony is true to his word. “This one stays here, on your table. Here’s another one that stays on your desk at home. This one is a spare for your backpack, and this one is to carry around wherever. I also have three more in the drawer over there for when you inevitably lose one.”

They’re all superhero-themed, and he’s pretty sure Tony commissioned the designs especially for him, though he can’t prove it.

At some point a weighted blanket appears in his room in the Tower after a movie night where Tony pulls out his and Peter comments how AMAZING it is. He gets another one for home for his birthday. Both are also custom-made superhero-themed colors.)

#actuallyautistic #autistic peter parker #MCU #autistic headcanon #tony stark #irondad and spiderson #respectfully asking to not tag as st//rker please and thank you #because it's only intended as irondad :)#also there will be more with like May and Ned and MJ #and the other Avengers because #Canon who? never met her lol

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alexthepartyman · 3 years

Text

When I’m Saved (Part 2)

“The press looks horrendous,” Agent Jareau says, looking out towards the front of the hotel as the team exits their SUVs. “Ah, Lieutenant Kim.”

“Agent Jareau. Rossi, Reid, Prentiss. Where are Hotchner and Morgan?”

“They retired. These are Agents Simmons, Alvez, and Section Chief Cruz. We have an Agent in Peyton with Dmitri’s father,” Agent Prentiss answers. “How is the group coping?”

“We should get inside.” The lieutenant says, escorting the team into the hotel’s back entrance. “The hotel has been placed on lockdown, only law enforcement is coming and going. We’ve questioned all of the kids and the chaperones. Some of the kids are devastated, some are pleased that Dmitri is gone. The kids are in their respective rooms, and the chaperones are in the Monterey ballroom. The girls are in Room 407 with the colour guard staff and two chaperones, officers have been stationed outside the room.”

“Pleased?”

“Dmitri isn’t so well accepted outside of his friends. One of the kids in his grade claims Dmitri broke his nose, and other kids have backed up the story. Dmitri has also been the subject of a few harassment incidents in school. Here is a list of people that know Dmitri the best.” Section Chief Cruz takes the list and scans over it.

“How is Mr and Mrs Tremblay taking this?”

“Mrs Tremblay hasn’t had much of a reaction. Mr Tremblay is angry about everything, but has cooperated. The colour guard staff, Dmitri’s direct coaches, are taking it very hard.”

“How is the colour guard taking it?”

“Most are sad, confused, angry. Some of them don’t see Dmitri favourably. One is exclusively regarding to Dmitri as Rhys.”

“One of them was a next-door neighbour?”

“Yes, LeAnne Owens. Dmitri was a friend of hers before they moved away into a neighbourhood that suited their Mormon beliefs more.”

“Religion? Peyton’s separated by religion?” Agent Prentiss asks.

“The town is mostly Mormon, a church on nearly every block in the downtown area. Those who aren’t Mormon aren’t treated very well once the others find out, apparently. Dmitri has been shunned for a few years, most kids only interact with him during group projects.”

“They probably took advantage of him because of his intellect,” Dr Reid comments. “Dmitri’s IQ is apparently one hundred and eighty seven. Autistic individuals tend to be more excluded by their peers and have troubles relating to neurotypical peers. The other kids would likely not understand how he functions and behaves, and he would struggle to maintain friendships. He would likely just think they were being his friends and not be able to see that other people were manipulating him to get what they wanted.”

“Our command center is in the La Paz ballroom. We have five officers monitoring the tip lines, and the media has been running broadcasts since one am.”

“What have the media been saying?” Agent Jareau asks.

“We told them that Dmitri disappeared, and that anyone who might have seen what happened to him should call the hotline. We haven’t confirmed or denied that Dmitri was abducted, but it’s starting to look like that’s what happened. Park search came up empty, we issued an Amber Alert for Los Angeles and the neighbouring counties around three am, stressing that Dmitri’s health is fragile. Free coffee in the lobby, but warning, it’s as bad as our station coffee.”

“Matt, Reid, go up to Room 407,” Agent Prentiss says. “Ask very specifically about what happened last night and our unsubs. Ask them if Diego or Jacob could have taken Dmitri. The adults may not know about what happened, so tread carefully. Luke, you and Rossi should go to the Monterey ballroom and talk with the Tremblays, Mrs Mellencamp, Mrs Kilburn, and any other chaperones that interacted with Dmitri yesterday. JJ, Cruz, and I will set up in the command center, touch bases with PG and Tara. We’ll text you any new information that comes in. Mobiles on. Head out.”

“Sanchez. Escort Agent Simmons and Dr Reid up to Room 407,” Lieutenant Kim says, stopping a passing officer in his tracks. “BAU. They’re going to question the kids.”

“Of course. There’s only one functioning elevator in this hotel, but staircases in every corner. Come with me.” The buff Asian and the pipe cleaner with eyes break off from the group, heading back towards the nearest staircase.

“Only one elevator?” Agent Jareau asks as the team follows the lieutenant towards the lobby.

“Yes, only one. If they couldn’t grab the elevator, the kids would drag their things up the staircases. There wasn’t much comment on Dmitri’s mobility, but Mrs Kilburn did share with us a picture of Dmitri in the Main Street USA parade.” Agent Prentiss squints at the picture and takes a picture of it with her phone. “What is it?”

“Look at the way his left hand grabs the pole vs how the others in the picture are holding the pole, and how his smile droops on the left side of his face.”

“What does that mean?”

“The right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, it looks like that’s where he took the most damage. Look at those transition lenses.” Agent Alvez points to the glasses in the picture. “Those would hide a drooping left eye.”

“This is the Monterey ballroom,” Lieutenant Kim announces, pushing the door to the conference room open. Agents Alvez and Rossi nod and pass through the door, closing it behind them.

“Excuse me,” Agent Rossi asks, approaching another officer. “We’re with the FBI, and we’re looking for John and Amy Tremblay.” The officer points towards an older, balding man and an older woman with red hair holding his hand at a table. “Thank you.” The Italian Stallion and the buff, steaming mug of hot cocoa then head to the table, Agent Rossi sitting across from the couple. “Mr and Mrs Tremblay, we’re Agents Rossi and Alvez with the FBI. We’re a few of the agents helping to find Dmitri.”

“FBI?” A woman with dark curly hair asks, ending her hushed conversation with a woman with red curly hair.

“Yes, ma’am, FBI. We have a few questions about Dmitri. The more we can understand about his behaviour, the more we can figure out what happened to him and how to help him. Who might you be, ma’am?”

“I’m Jill Mellencamp. I assist with band finances and keep all the records. This is Connie Hiratsu, she’s one of the chaperones.”

“When did you last see Dmitri?”

“Nine pm. He was with his friends, leaving Splash Mountain,” Mr Tremblay answers.

“What was he wearing?”

“Our grey shirts we gave the kids, rainbow shoes. A rainbow bowtie, rainbow ears.”

“Interesting attire. Do you know of anybody Dmitri would know here in Los Angeles? Did he tell you he was meeting up with anybody?”

“No,” Mr Tremblay answers, his piecing blue eyes beaming through the agent in front of him.

“Has he ever been caught speaking to strangers?”

“This one time, last year, I had found him after our halftime performance, and a tall man was holding him while he was crying. I separated them and had our drum major and seniors watch over Dmitri. He did not tell me why he was upset or who the man was.”

“He knows better than to talk to strangers. He’s in high school, he knows the rules,” Connie argues.

“Connie. He’s hurting right now. Arguing about it isn’t going to help him.”

“Are you guys going to tell them how much trouble he is?” She retorts.

“Connie-”

“He threw a water bottle, had a tantrum, and screamed at me, like he was a toddler. Was I supposed to just let him represent our school and organisation poorly? Other people might think we’re snobs if they saw that-”

“Mrs Hiratsu. What exactly was happening?”

“He was upset, and he threw a water bottle at the ground, and I told him that high schoolers don’t throw things, and he wouldn’t calm down or tell me what was going on. He was throwing a tantrum-”

“Connie. Loud noises and crowds stress Dmitri out. He was freaking out because he didn’t have his ticket into the park and he couldn’t find Ressa Kilburn, so I had him go through the security checkpoint with me and my family, and afterwards, he ran away, but he came back to the group after a few minutes. Mrs Anderson told us she went to talk to him.”

“He aimed it at the ground or at someone?” Agent Alvez asks.

“At the ground, but it shouldn’t matter. He was acting out of line.”

“Mrs Hiratsu, Dmitri has autism, and he gets overwhelmed and shuts down. Now when he shuts down, he might be aggressive or defensive, throwing things or screaming,” Agent Alvez replies. “Him aiming the bottle at the ground is better than if he aimed it at a person. It means that he is semi-aware of his surroundings in his state, and he is empathetic and doesn’t want to disrupt things.”

“Then why would he do that?”

“He doesn’t want to do it, but he just does. He probably feels embarrassed that he reacts like that.”

“He is rather empathetic. If you raise your voice at him, he’ll think you’re mad at him, and then it takes forever for him to get that you’re not mad at him. He always thinks Jill and I are mad at him.”

“How is he, socially? Does he get along well with the other kids?”

“No, he’s always closed off from the others. Most people don’t even realise he’s there.”

“If he had his way, he’d be in the corner with his music and his notebook,” Mrs Tremblay adds.

“We try to get him to participate with others, but he always just does his own thing. Jill, you’re also involved with the musical theatre program, and you interact with Dmitri there.”

“Yes, I do, but he’s practically the same way. He gets really embarrassed to have to talk in front of other kids, just almost shuts down, he starts stammering and stuttering and panicking.”

“He wouldn’t tell anyone if there was something wrong.”

“Exactly. Nick, Lily, and Arthur have better luck getting him out of his shell, but he still doesn’t ask for help unless you start the conversation. I can see it when it’s just the guard, but I don’t know how to explain it. He laughs more, smiles more with them. Nick and Lily tell me that he actually reaches out to the new guard kids, which is unheard of.”

“Could any of you tell us how Dmitri changed after his last concussion, three weeks ago?” Agent Alvez asks.

“He smiles more, laughs more, asks more questions. He’s definitely more outspoken, but he falls asleep everywhere. I don’t know how he falls asleep on the school bus seats, but he does.”

“I caught him sleeping in the doorway one morning during musical theatre class. He’ll just take little naps during class. He seems to be a lot dizzier, falls a lot more.”

“Yes. He falls when he laughs, and since he laughs at everything now, he always falls. He’s been walking around with hoods up, headphones on, using the walls as supports.”

“Do his eyes glaze over? Does he eat enough to compensate for the high activity levels? We noticed he’s smaller than most.”

“The nosebleed. Do you think that was anything serious?”

“He acted like it was,” Connie asks.

“A nosebleed?”

“He bled out all over the boys’ bathroom once, and it took half an hour to get him to stop bleeding. He was accepting the sugar we provided him, but he freaked out once we mentioned afrin, wouldn’t let us give it to him, he thought we were going to give him aspirin. He couldn’t figure out what was happening to him, and he was texting his grandparents.”

“Okay, okay.” The four adults fall silent, appearing to hold a lifetime back. “Thank you. We’ll come back if we have any more questions.”

#jennifer jareau #tara lewis #Luke Alvez #Matt Simmons #mateo cruz #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #spencer reid #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #DavidRossi

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cromulentbookreview · 5 years

Text

Every Heart Among Bones Beneath Sugar In An Absent Dream

Have I mentioned how much I love Seanan McGuire’s Wayward Children series? I think I might have but still: I really fucking love this series.

In An Absent Dream by Seanan McGuire!

BE SURE.

Rule One: Ask for Nothing

Rule Two: Names Have Power

Rule Three: Always Give Fair Value

Rule Four: Take what is offered and be grateful.

Rule Five: Remember the Curfew.

In An Absent Dream is the story of Katherine (never Katie, Kitty or Kathy, but Katherine, goddamn it!) Lundy, a bookish, serious and very logical young girl. In 1964, Katherine, on her sixth birthday, comes to the realization that, if other people don’t like her, she’s not going to bother changing herself to become likable to others. If they don’t like her the way she is, then they’re not worth her time. (If only I’d had that realization at six and actually stuck to it - instead, it hit me when I was 14 and rather than going it alone I spent the next decade desperately trying to mold myself into someone people would like. Being a girl with autism sure is fun!). As a serious logical bookworm and the daughter of the school principal, Katherine isn’t exactly miss popular, but when none of the other kids come to her birthday party, she decides “fuck it.”

And so Katherine grows up being the dedicated rule-follower, like a miniature Amy Santiago. Occasionally she looks for loopholes to exploit, like all good rule-following children who know that sometimes you have to stretch things a bit to your advantage, but for the most part, Katherine is the perfect mid-1960s definition of a “good girl” - minus any friends. When Katherine is eight years old, she doesn’t want to leave her classroom at the end of the last day of school - she wants to finish her book, damn it. Her teacher just wants to clean up and go home. Unable to find a suitable excuse to stick around longer, Katherine heads home, dreading being pressed into babysitting her younger sister. As she walks the all-too-familiar route home, she does something curious: at one point, rather than turning right, she turns left instead. If Doctor Who taught me anything, it’s that turning left never ends well.

How are you so pretty, David Tennant?

Ahem.

Anyway. Turning left! Katherine’s left turn doesn’t end in nuclear Armageddon, though. Instead, she ends up at a tree. A really strange tree that seems to be the product of extensive chip grafting, like one of them Tree of Many Fruits, but moving on: this tree has a door. And on this door it says: BE SURE.

Katherine isn’t sure what this is referring to - she is sure that she is Katherine Lundy, though, so she goes through the door, through a hallway with the cross-stitched rules hanging on the walls, and out into the Goblin Market.

Unlike the whimsical tastes-like-diabetes world in Beneath the Sugar Sky or the Hammer Horror world of Down Among the Sticks and Bones, the world of the Goblin Market is one of extreme logic. The Goblin Market is only about 10% whimsy, 90% following-the-rules. Everything is acquired via the barter system of fair value. You want something? You’ve got to give “fair value” for it, and fair value varies wildly depending on your age, strength, skills, etc. It’s not as much fun to read about as Candyland, Hammer-Horror-land or the Underworld, but it represents the logical end of the World Compass. But still, if you’re not into economics and would rather your fantasy stories avoid the debate over what constitutes “fair value”, you might be turned off a bit by the Goblin Market. I hated having to parcel out what was “fair value” when studying economics in college (nothing says “torture” like reading Karl Marx in the original German), and would much rather use the “shut up and take my money” approach to exchanges in the open market.

As a fantasy world, though, I found the Goblin Market to be a bit terrifying – the Market gives off this impression that everything is fair and good and wonderful, but at the same time, when people don’t give fair value and go into “debt”, the Market causes some hard-core body-horror-type stuff to happen to you. McGuire does an awesome job making sure that we never forget this underlying sinister side to that world.

That sinister feeling that we get goes over Katherine’s head at first - to be fair, she is eight. At first, Katherine, who goes by Lundy in the Goblin Market, is delighted to find a world where everyone must follow the rules and where everyone gets fair value. She considers the Goblin Market to be her true home. But as Lundy gets older, she comes up against Rule Five: the curfew. At 18, she must choose between the Goblin Market or her home world. One or the other. She can’t have both. At first, the choice seems obvious: Goblin Market, FTW. But when Lundy goes home to her own world and sees her family again, things get muddy. How can Lundy have both her family and the Goblin Market, while still following the rules? Can it be done?

It goes without saying that McGuire has knocked the ball straight out of the park again with the fourth installment of the Wayward Children series. It’s possible to finish In An Absent Dream in an hour or a single sitting, the same way it’s perfectly possible to eat an entire box of chocolates, but once you’re done...well, now you’re out of chocolate, and you won’t be getting any more until 2020. I took my time with In An Absent Dream because I am a slow reader and because I wanted to savor it. Some of the scenes from Katherine’s childhood hit me so hard for a moment I wondered if Seanan McGuire followed me around when I was a kid and took notes. No kids at the birthday party? Got along better with adults than peers? Loved books more than people? Yes. 1000% yes. Katherine’s dream of becoming a librarian because “she couldn’t imagine knowing there was a job that was all about books and not wanting to do it”?

That’s precisely why I got my Masters in Library and Information Science. That, and all the best jobs required it. But now that I have the degree, though, all of those jobs have disappeared. Because of course.

Again, the worst thing about this series is just how long we have to wait between each installment. These books are oh so good, but so, so short. I do not recommend binging it all in a day - take it in slowly, preferably with the first three books on hand so you can see how all the stories are woven together. Make it last because I swear to God 2018 has felt like it’s lasted for twenty years and it’s still not over. The wait for 2020 is going to feel like an eternity. If the world is even still around by then. Fingers crossed!

RECOMMENDED FOR: Everyone. Just. Everyone needs to read the Wayward Children books.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: People who don’t read fantasy, people who are the worst, people who definitely bullied other people in middle school...

RELEASE DATE: January 8, 2019

RATING: 5/5

TOTALLY UNBIASED FANGIRL RATING: 5,000,000,000,000/5

TREE RATING: Sequoia sempervirens

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR NEXT BOOK IN THE SERIES: Olympus Mons

#wayward children #in an absent dream #seanan mcguire #portal fantasy #every heart a doorway #down among the sticks and bones #beneath the sugar sky #book review #fantasy #feminist fantasy #tor #best books #is it 2019 yet

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sailonmylittlehoneybeesailo-blog · 5 years

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SAIL ON, MY LITTLE HONEYBEE, SAIL ON...

YOU’RE GONNA KEEP ON SAILIN’‘,

TILL YOU FIND YOU’RE HAPPY HOMEEEE.

─ albion lailoken cedersen

Hey, did you see that guy? I heard he’s named [ALBION LAILOKEN CEDERSEN]. He’s said to be the nonbinary, demiboy son of an influential beekeeper, born and raised on his fruitful farmlands, but really though? He’s not from around here, he’s from that other side of town named Avalon. He’s in reality much older, around 53 years of chronological age, and is just like anyone there, a fairy, a being of fair background, as he likes to call it. He is their messenger, their mentor, to some extent. He calls himself an Avalonian Melibech, a mixup of both the Greek word ‘meli’ meaning honey, and bech, meaning beehive, in old Irish. Have you ever got the feeling like something weird is happening with the bees of San Francisco? Like you keep getting stings, even if it's mid-winter time? That’s because he, alongside his ‘assumed’ fatherly figure, is the reason for that. They are said so, at least, to change into literal bees when they fall asleep. Other than that? Albion and his father seem pretty harmless, they say they can do weird things with honey, also that they just freaking love it, but besides that they just say they are extremely wise, like they act as if they know EVERYTHING. But do they really, though?

Hey, I’m Leonidas, or just simply Leon. I’m really new to everything tumblr and tumblrrping, so please treat me with kindness and support to go through this but amazing hellhole. I’m gonna play Albion, an oc based on a mythical bee concept I have had for ages, but it’s just a type of fairy, ofcourse. I’m from the netherlands, so my timezone is CENTRAL EUROPEAN TIME. I accidentally wrote my characters name wrong in the app, so let’s not hope that this is an indication of my future here. Ok enough about me, let’s talk about Albion.

Albion is a seemingly appearing 23-year-old Cal-Berkeley veterinarian doctoral student. As long as the assumed fake story goes, he was born and raised in a farm nearby a town not so far away from San Francisco, where his assumed father took care of bees as an influential beekeeper.

Little do they know, the story is much weirder. His father is in fact, a far related cousin of his. They’re what they call the ‘Avalonian Melibech’. They come from the fairy realm of Avalon but are destined to leave semipermenantly on Earth, basically to tell the mundane the stories of the unknown beauty of their homeland. In ancient times, those fairies were bards in Celtic Europe, but in modern times they tell their stories differently. They write fantasy novels, tell stories to kids on the street, or go round houses to tell them about a powerful overlord named Oberon.

Albion, just like his cousin that appears to the public as his father, are blessed with two personalities, so to speak. Their true fairy form is a somewhat larger than average honeybee queen that may fool you into thinking they're a bumblebee by appearance. This fairy form always reveals themselves when the normally human-looking personalities they gift themselves on earth, will fall asleep. Meaning that once their humanoid personalities fall in any sort of natural sleep (except from comas, death, and true unconsciousness), they’re true fairy personalities take the turn, making mischief and chaos as long as the humanoid form doesn’t wake up yet. If they do, the bee form disappears in a magical poof, and the awoken humanoid personality is back in control.

Next, to this, Albion’s fairy type isn’t simply called the mentors of the fairies for nothing. They share a mental hivemind, a connection to every past and present family member. This means they can access the current thoughts of their brothers, parents, first-related cousins, and so on, and in addition, they can access any memory, thought, or knowledge a past family member had for themselves, for up to 3 centuries of generations further down the family tree. Albion can also control honey, a substance he can’t get enough from.

PERSONALITY

He’s trying to be an extreme goofball, but he has a lot of trouble understanding jokes and hidden messages. Imagine it like Brainy from Supergirl. Smart, but entirely useless in keeping secrets or understanding the thoughts behind an expression.

He has, like me in real life, but a lot lesser, a lot of autism spectrum disorder traits, possibly suggesting a kind of Asperger‘s.

He has a great fascination of nature, which is often troubling his mission to write and tell stories instead.

He might be a little too headstrong, somewhat denying views on various subjects of many sources strictly, at least those that aren’t from his ancestors.

He’s truly naive sometimes, rather feeling like a free and cheering but annoying little kid, than a responsible, full-fledged well-adulted individual.

He’s into anything geeky from Earth, comics, movies, pulp fiction, tv shows, he’d probably be hella active on tumblr too, having a lot of online friends to share his fanfiction and slampoems with.

#apx:intro #fc: bex-tk #fairynoblemanlivingonourlittleplanet #probably too pure for you..

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doctorbee · 6 years

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Bee makes an appearance and gives a life update (and then disappears again)

Hello. It’s me. I’m still alive. I still barely ever get on tumblr. My life is hectic. But in case you were wondering, here’s a brief update on my life:

Continuing to work in autism research. In September we were awarded one of 5 prestigious and huge NIH grants given nationally for autism research, in sum setting us up to launch 3 new research studies with about $12 million. I am now the manager of 5 research studies. Our new ones aim to understand and treat comorbid anxiety (using treatment plans specifically designed for autistic kids) and another to understand early brain growth and enlargement from a cell and molecular level to brain structure to behavior. I continue to not talk about my work on social media much in part because the majority of cool stuff and cool people and kids I see is HIPAA protected. I’m also crazy crazy crazy busy. Oh also I told my primary boss a few months ago that I deserved a promotion and he and my two other bosses all wholeheartedly agreed and gave me both a title promotion and a 9.5% salary raise. (This is so much different than grad school when my boss told me I was incapable and not smart.... Everyone here loves and supports me??? It’s cool.)

My dog is the love and joy of my life. We’ve just completed 5 months of beginner obedience training (it’s a 1 month long class.... we just repeated it 5 times). He’s improved so much over the past year that I’ve had him. He still has some anxieties, but he’s really learning to be good and overcome his fears. This month we will be starting intermediate obedience and next month we will start formal agility training. This dog can fucking FLY so agility is going to be awesome. He’s also the cutest dog in the world and is goofy and his tongue STILL doesn’t fit in his mouth.

Supergirl and I continue to be your favorite ginger femme lesbians. She had a whole bunch of both mental and physical health problems over the past year but she’d been working really hard of recovery and I’m so goddamn proud of her, you would not believe. She’s still far away but our ability to cope with long distance is decent and we continue to work on a plan to move her to California, hopefully sometime in 2018. I visited her for New Years and Pennsylvania was fucking COLD AS HELL so next winter we really gotta get her out here.

If you followed along with Bee’s Family Hive at any point, just FYI, Munchkin is graduating high school this year... So that’s weird. But she’s still awesome, just like weirdly grown up awesome. Still like the size of a pinto bean though. The rest of my family is mostly good, my brother is a disaster, etc, etc, etc.

My rent is increasing and it’s sparked a potential moving up of my life plans and while I originally planned to buy a house in 2020, I’m seriously looking into buying a house this year. IT’S WEIRD AND ADULT. I’m also planning to hopefully buy something that’s large enough for me to expand in so I can eventually round myself up some children. (You guys, there are an estimated 600 queer kids in the foster system in my county so like... it’s totally reasonable for me to get a 600 bedroom house, right??? HI KIDS IT’S YOUR MOM BEE SHE’S INSANE BUT ALSO LOVES YOU A LOT.)

I’ve also been trying for the past 8 months to get an ADHD diagnosis. As all of these demands at work continue to grow, a pattern of symptoms that I’ve been experiencing throughout my life has escalated. (They’ve been escalating since high school, and particularly had an effect on my ability to function in grad school, but have always been overshadowed by either comorbid mental health issues like anxiety and depression or just masked by what my new therapist called “an abundance of compensatory mechanisms”.) However, a mystery “they” of my health system keeps rejecting all my attempts to get properly assessed. My therapist is on my side though and I’m going to keep working with her to see what we can do to get me help. She did get me into an ADHD skills class that doesn’t require a diagnosis (loophole!) that starts next week so we’ll see how that goes.

As always, if you’re someone I’ve known for a while on tumblr and you want to stay in touch with me now that I’m not really around here, please please shoot me a message and I’ll give you my alternate contact. (Also I do OPEN tumblr at least once a week, so like you can always still just message me here?)

#original post #text post #personal #bee's life updates

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principlesofdesign · 7 years

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Based on Oliver de la Paz’s Autism Screening Questionnaire — Speech and Language Delay

A collection of firsthand accounts of the story of a family.

1. Did your child lose acquired speech?

When he sings, he uses words he will not speak. My son is a musician, weaving together the notes that vibrate in his little throat. From his earliest days, even his cries have been music. I've never loved noise like this. He yells and screams and somehow, to me, everything sounds like art.

2. Does your child produce unusual noises or infantile squeals?

This is my first child. I am the youngest of my siblings and one of the youngest of my cousins. I had never held a baby before him. I never cared about babies before him. I don’t know if he does more or less or just enough. He just is, and I love him, and that is that.

3. Is your child’s voice louder than required?

He has never had an inside voice. If he loves something, you will know it and quickly. You will hear it shouted from the rooftops with a voice bursting with light and joy and enthusiasm. “This is what I love. This is what I will build my world around. This is where my heart is.” When a child says those things so readily, who wastes time criticizing his volume?

4. Does your child speak frequent gibberish or jargon?

He is caught halfway between two languages and speaks neither well. There is nothing wrong with my son, my son who I crossed oceans for, who I ripped my world to shreds for. There is nothing wrong with my son. He is taking his time, enjoying understanding himself while no one else can. He will find his way to us soon.

5. Does your child have difficulty understanding basic things (“just can’t get it”)?

He is two and cannot understand the difference between pictures of different things, keeps reminding me that it's a "book" instead of saying "eagle" and "cabbage", like the children of my husband’s friends. He is three and responds to "give me an answer now" with "answer", and stares at me emptily when I tell him he hasn’t answered the question. He is six and cannot understand why the other children do not like hearing all the facts he knows about the ocean. He is eight and cannot understand why his little sister has more friends than him. He is twelve and does not understand why he is picked last. He is fourteen and does not understand...

Why won’t he understand?

6. Does your child pull you around when he wants something?

My son’s hands are bunched in the back of my father’s shirt, and he follows my father around the house like a little train car, a duckling, a boy seeking direction. He tugs once, twice, thrice, like he is asking a question, but quickly, the question gets lost in his head, like he’s forgotten what he meant to ask. No words are exchanged -- it is a silent carousel, spinning, spinning, spinning.

7. Does your child have difficulty expressing his needs or desires using gestures?

He screams. He screams so much. He screams upon waking and again upon sleeping and I think he is trying to tell me something, but he either can’t or won’t. He cries when I ask him too many questions, his answers coming three or four questions late like he has just finished hearing the first when I am asking the fifth. He is a friendly and nervous child by turns, like there are two people living in his head, one happy and free and joyful and the other terrified of the world before him.

He doesn’t ask for things as much as his sister does.

I wonder whether it’s because he doesn’t want anything or because he doesn’t know how to ask.

8. Is there no spontaneous initiation of speech or communication from your child?

We read his books wrong when the silence has stretched on too long. He has memorized all of his books, will correct us with a soft tug of a shirt sleeve or a few whispered words when a sentence differs from the copy in his head. It is a rope in a snowstorm, the soft lantern light that guides him out of his head and into our world.

“Amma.” He whispers, as if he is telling me a secret. “Barney didn’t say that.”

9. Does your child repeat heard words, parts of words, or tv commercials?

He repeats what I say to him and laughs to himself, like a private joke only he can understand. “Don’ do it.” He cautions himself, while scribbling at his table, and giggles like the heavens have opened up and poured sunlight onto his paper. “Don’ do it, or you’re in trouble. Don’ do it. Timeout.” He lets loose a stream of soft chuckles, and wipes his eyes like he has seen his father doing, when he laughs to the point of tears. There are no tears there. He is just going through the motions, like his life is some extended stage performance that we are here to witness. “Don’ do it.”

10. Does your child use repetitive language (same word or phrase over and over)?

His words run in circles, wearing paths into the carpet of his mind, their feet sinking into the pile. It is a different color where the words aren’t, where the words have never been, where they might never be. His lips find familiarity and will not let go, his teeth biting into every word he knows, every word he loves. He is talking to himself again, a one word conversation, and he is smiling.

11. Does your child have difficulty sustaining a conversation?

He does not listen. Or he does not care to listen. I don’t know which it is, which will hurt more. He hears fine, the doctors say so -- we checked, just in case. He will talk on his terms, on his subjects, on his time, but the moment you take a step in, he pauses. He turns into stone, hard and unforgiving, the brightness draining out of his eyes like water from the sink I used to bathe him in. The son I know disappears behind this sullen, angry monster of a boy who feels interrupted by one word, one thought, one movement of the mouth, and I wonder how many times it will take before he stops trying at all.

12. Does your child use monotonous speech or wrong pausing?

He stops in the middle of a sentence, eyes scanning us for a reaction, as if he is prompting for user input. All my life, I have been fascinated by computers, the way everything is neat and logical and easy. Humans are messy and tragic and complicated, and there is nothing I hate more than drama. I often wondered what a child that was neat and logical and easy might be like, wondered if I might love that child more than their siblings. He is still staring, but takes a deep breath and lets his words flow out again, a flood, an avalanche, a hurricane. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong.

13. Does your child speak the same to kids, adults, or objects (can’t differentiate)?

He is better now, thanks to his sister. She was born and he took to her instantly, surveying her like something curious, something new, something to explore. He copied his father’s cooing, watched and learned and applied his father’s turns of phrase until he’d broken baby talk down into a science. At four and a half, he is still hiding behind other people. People are objects and objects are people, but finally, finally, kids are not adults, and adults are not kids.

Every small victory is worth celebrating.

14. Does your child use language inappropriately (wrong words or phrases)?

He speaks on his terms, with his words and his topics and his sentences. He gets angry, when he’s told he’s wrong, rages like a wildfire that cannot be contained.

“I’m right”, he roars, the crackling of flames hidden in the spaces between his words. “I’m answerin’ the question!”

The flames rise and rise and rise until there is nothing more left to burn.

#writing

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chromsai · 7 years

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Sai, I just went and watched Yugioh Everything's video on Yusaku and Aoi having Autism and Depresson, respectively. While he makes some solids points and I agree with them having mental problems, he basically said Vrains is the first yugioh to talk about 'such dark topics.' If your up to it could you bring up some characters in previous ygo series (Arc-V or all your choice) that implied to have mental problems cause Vrains is not the first by a long shot lmao.

Lmao sorry this answer is kinda late since the past few days have been busy for me and ironically enough you sent this right when I just got back from a grad school info session (regarding psych programs ofc) which made me realize I kinda wanna pursue a career more along research in the field of abnormal psychology which is one of my stronger areas of knowledge in psychology already anyway. I just really like it that much.

So yeah I did see this ask like almost right when you sent it but it was late and I had just gotten home after a nice day and YE’s videos haven’t been making me too happy lately so ofc sorry I kinda avoided watching it that night cuz I didn’t wanna ruin my nice day (just in case). But now that I watched it, well as far as I can remember he didn’t outright say that this is the first time a Yugioh’s dealt with these issues before (but I can see how you got that he perhaps implied it).

That all being said, I still have just a, I’d say, general yet above-average knowledge in these subjects (hey I have a degree in Psych, yes, but that doesn’t make me an expert by any means and I’m not afraid to say that, hell I love learning new things about psych all the time) so please keep that in mind (also please keep in mind too that I cannot professionally diagnose anyone, but for the sake of discussion about the psychology in fiction, I can definitely give my thoughts on what would be the most probably diagnosis for certain characters). Besides that though, if YE does actually believe that this is the first time these kinds of issues have ever been dealt with in Yugioh, well wow idk how much he’s been paying attention before this...

(Long read with further examples + explanations from characters in each series under the cut)

Regarding his statements on the Vrains characters and the disorders he mentioned, I’ll give it to him. In fact, I too am pretty sure by now that all of Yusaku’s “quirks” point to Autism, though, and YE didn’t mention this so idk how knowledgeable he is regarding other personality disorders, he also seems to show symptoms of OCPD (obsessive-compulsive); these include being obsessed or preoccupied with making lists and keeping track of small details, over preoccupation with work or meeting goals to the point of neglecting your social life or forming close relations, unwillingness to see ethics or values in someone else’ light, being stubborn, etc. Wouldn’t surprise me if he has both since there’s a high co-morbidity between ASD and OCPD.

In regards to Aoi, again yes I agree. Girl has depression. It’s very obvious (this I can say with confidence as someone who has suffered previously from it [note: I sought help and let’s just say I’m very glad I did]. The Paranoid Personality Disorder... (I’m gonna be honest.... I didn’t pay enough attention to Aoi’s character enough to determine a firmer answer and I don’t really feel like rewatching the ep). According to him, it’s a possible thing. He did mention that she could just be acting that way because her whole entire life she’s been kinda used so she has a general distrust of people, but that’s just the thing. If in fact he’s correct about her symptoms matching up, it doesn’t necessarily matter if she’s acting this way due to her childhood trauma, in fact, that’s even more reason to validate her suffering from PPD (another area I feel more confident about in psych is child/adolescent development and hey guess what, lots of personality disorder symptoms start showing up during childhood or are even a direct cause of childhood trauma).

Speaking of childhood trauma, you wanted to know characters from other series that have mental illnesses/suffer from personality disorders? Well... (*cough cough* as a psychologist, why do you think I enjoyed Arc V so much?)...Here’s a quick list of just a few select characters I can think of:Arc V:-Yuya (remember, the childhood trauma I mentioned): Oh my poor boy suffers from dysthymia. Again, I’m pretty confident here because I can relate (because I suffer from it too ahaha). While we don’t know exactly for how long, it’s been at least three years with it (ugh) since his father’s disappearance and all the bullying. He shows so many signs of it throughout the show (it would be pointless to get screencaps because the signs are literally everywhere): dysthymia (sometimes called “persistent depressive disorder”) is noted by sadness, anger, irritability, mood swings, loss of appetite, insomnia (did you notice in Synchro when we was feeling depressed in his room he didn’t eat at all and stayed up all night despite being noticeably tired), indecisiveness, low self-esteem, among others. I’m sure people might argue against me, trying to say “oh well he’s energetic for the most part and still smiles a lot” well guess what, there’s lots of entertainers, comedians, performers, and just overall really sociable people who do a terrifyingly good job hiding it.I saw someone once mention that they headcanoned Yuya also has Histrionic Personality Disorder and well... he actually does show signs of it but not so much that he actually meets criteria. Even for being an entertainer tho, he shows this more than the others (either Dennis, Yuzu, or even Yusho), but again, can’t be diagnosed with it.Lastly, and this is more of a post-canon thought regarding the prognosis of his mental health... he’s definitely gonna deal with some dissociative symptoms for the rest of his life (or until somehow, some way they find a way to separate him and the other Yuus, and even then still...). There is just no way in hell you can convince me that he’s not gonna experience dissociation on a regular basis with 3 other people living inside him. Same goes for Yuzu. (Side note: RIP my heart.)

-Shun: He suffers from PTSD. Oh man he’s kind of textbook PTSD: irritableness, mistrust, social issolation, flashbacks, hostility, fear, anxiety, paranoia, agitation, hyper-vigilance, etc. (I’d also say Yuto and Kaito suffer this too).

-Reria: Also suffers from PTSD, but since Reira is much younger, coping with childhood PTSD is a lot harder and leads to more frequent panic attacks, flashbacks, intrusive or unwanted thoughts, nightmares, avoidant behavior, etc.

-Yuri: Conduct Disorder, aka the precursor to Antisocial Personality Disorder. He’s 14 so he can’t really be diagnosed as the second. Anyways, what really tipped me off about him having this is his blatant disregard for any remorse towards harming others. He just doesn’t feel it. On the contrary, he straight up says he enjoys it, says he needs it “just like breathing”, he’s an overall really violent kid and starts fights with literally anyone that gets in his way (like... it’s even his catchphrase “You’re in my way!”), has no knows long term close relationships with anyone (reeaaally wish they had given us more of him and Dennis together tho...), and he’s known to deceive, trick, or lie to others with no guilt at all. (He’s also seen as similar to past villains of Yugioh, outright disproving the implication that Vrains is the first Yugioh to deal with personality or mental disorder issues).

-Zarc: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Again, another textbook example. And yes, similar to Aoi’s possible Paranoid Personality Disorder, this is canonically induced into his personality as a result of the society he lived in praising his violent duel style and eventual lust for power due in part to the same reason. But just because it was induced due to circumstance doesn’t make it any less valid. It’s another form of trauma, just like Aoi’s whole “being used all her life” led her to develop PDD.

And well there’s more examples in Arc V (you can also argue that Shingo also suffers from NPD to some extent, etc.) but I think those are the biggest ones I can think of right now.

And of course, though I’ve seen them all, I know Arc V the best + it’s just the one that’s in my most recent memory so it’s easier to talk about them, but some other quick examples from the series that I can think of:

DM:-Kaiba: Again, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.-Marik: I think he’s a strong candidate for being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (at least the way his villainous arc portrayed him as).-Bakura: Actually an adult so actual Antisocial Personality Disorder.

GX:-Judai: Depression & Dissociation. Yep.-Ryo Marufuji/Hell Kaiser: Definitely could argue that he displays signs of Sadisitic Personality Disorder, just keep in mind that it is no longer included in the DSM-V so it is not something someone would be typically diagnosed with professionally.-Manjoume: Another Narcissist.

5D’s:-Jack Atlas: Okay so he’s more of an accurate example of Histrionic Personality Disorder, minus the sexual criteria (which, if the Yugioh anime genre/audience allowed, I’m sure would be plausible since he also displays signs of NPD, implying that he might actually want that kind of physical/superficial attention).-Aki: Also like Aoi, displayed symptoms of PPD, though I’d argue she definitely has it and just learns to cope over time after befriending Yusei & co.-Sherry: Shows signs of high functioning ASD (being perfectionist and being obsessed with finding out about her parents murder), but ASD isn’t something I’m too confident talking about yet so maybe don’t quote me on this.-Divine: I’d say you can argue he’s has Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Zexal:-Vector: Another one with.... I mean... he’s not really 13 or 14, he’s actually, what, like 100s of years old? So instead of Conduct Disorder, he actually has Antisocial... technically...-Fuya: OOOOOHHHH You thought I wouldn’t remember a character like him??? (Again, as a psychologist, these are the characters I like the most). He’s memorable to me, despite being a minor character, cuz I’d say he definitely displays signs of having Avoidant Personality Disorder, especially with regards to using his Esper Robin personality to avoid all those intrusive, self-conscious thoughts he doesn’t find pleasant.-Shark/Ryoga/Nasch: Also has PTSD.-IV: He’s borderline Antisocial. Not quite. But almost there.

OOOKAYY Well anyways, those were just a bunch of examples. There’s way more, I’m sure that I missed A TON. But yes it’s as you said, Vrains is definitely NOT the first time in Yugioh history where characters have had to struggle with mental health / personality disorder issues. Far from it.

And wow actually thank you for the ask! This was really fun to think about and I welcome the discussion any time! Anyone, don’t be afraid to let me know if there’s stuff I might have left out or if there’s anything wrong with this or any arguments for or against any of this.

#skittymon #ask #reply #skitty #ygo #psych stuff #and wow i got carried away how is it 4:30am already #i should sleep #thank u day off #*prays fam doesn't wake me up early in the morning like they said they would*#ugh #i'm not tagging all of this so RIP #long post

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drewocs-blog · 7 years

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Seungcheol gazes at the white granite pillars, the startlingly honest paintings on the walls, the arches and statues and glassless windows. He thinks of Rome and Greece and the Würzburg Residence in Germany. There are beautiful women walking around in gossamer dresses, relaxed and smiling, chatting and laughing with each-other. Men lounge on windowsills in loose cotton shirts and pants.

Everything is picturesque in this Territory, Seungcheol thinks. If Enjora were here, she would be itching to paint the temples. Seungcheol walks out of the temple and into the bustling town square, searching for a place to get directions. He looks startling in contrast to locals. His upturned eyes, dark tunic and pale skin-dark hair-light eyes combination are stark against the brown, smooth skinned, dark eyed, breezily dressed locals.

He could have stopped earlier in the day to get some clothing appropriate for both the climate and culture of the Aruité Territory, but desperation had curbed his desire to try and blend in. Desperation to find a way to contact Enjora and Akatsuki, however that may be.

Directions are important, he thinks distractedly. His eyes skate over stalls with food and trinkets and clothes and jewelry. Maybe clothes should take priority for a moment. Seungcheol pulls his pouch of money out of his rucksack, hands shaking slightly, and starts to look for a stall that would sell clothes he would be comfortable in.

“You, boy! You look lost, hungry, ravaged, foreign. Come here, and let a bored woman help you.” Seungcheol’s head whips up to meet the eyes of an elegant lady. She’s tall, taller than he is, with soft looking skin, tumbling curls and sharp green eyes. On her brow rests a diadem of silver and what Seungcheol can only assume is moonstone. Sheer white fabric covers her broad shoulders, forming a V over her chest and cinching at her waist before flowing out down to her bare feet. She looks likes royalty, though he doesn’t entertain that thought as possible.

“Who, me?” His voice cracks on the last word from misuse.

The woman smiles breezily at him. “Of course, you’re the only one that looks lost around here.”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes at her. “What’s the catch, miss? Am I selling my soul to Deiri if I accept your help?” His hand moves to his hip, where a dagger sits at his belt.

She hums. “Deiri? So you’re from the North, hmm? We can work with your manners, I suppose.” Seungcheol shuffles uncomfortably. Of course, having spent two years in the northern Territory of Keimari had rubbed off on him. “I’m Asheeva. And I’m going to clean you right up.”

Asheeva’s eyes glint in the war sunlight. Seungcheol gives her another once over, deeming her safe for the moment, and nods. “Lee Seungcheol.” Asheeva smiles brightly, grabbing for Seungcheol’s hand. He deftly moves away from her reach, and looks at her pointedly. No touching. Asheeva’s brow furrows, and her diadem shifts minutely. Seungcheol keeps his face carefully blank as he watches her watch him. The staring contest continues for a minute before Asheeva sighs and gestures for him to follow her. They begin walking towards the richer part of the city, and Seungcheol tries to focus on his surroundings instead of the slapping of Asheeva’s bare feet on the marble ground of the city square.

The colors and sounds distract and overwhelm Seungcheol fairly quickly, making him jumpy and irritated. Autism and ADHD put together, he thinks, is surely the worst thing to ever happen to him when it comes to loud, busy places.

“Hurry, hurry, Seungcheol! We have places to be, people to impress, clothes to fix!” Asheeva’s airy voice cracks Seungcheol’s thought process, and he realizes he’s stopped moving. He shakes his head, counts to 10 in Korean and back, before nodding to his companion and moving forward. She seems concerned but doesn’t push.

She leads him out of the bustling city center and out into the wealthy streets. The whole city is wealthy, and no one lives in poverty from what he’s seen and heard about Aruité, but this part of the city is decidedly wealthier than the rest. The buildings are tall and wide, made from pale colored stones interspersed with bright windows. Accents of gold and bronze and silver adorn windowsills and doorways and walls.

Seungcheol hasn’t seen anything so lavish and beautiful in so long. Even in his wildest dreams he couldn’t have imagined such beautiful buildings. Lush gardens fill out the front of the houses. Beautiful ladies dressed similarly to Asheeva sit with fruits in their hands in the gardens, children jump around in fountains and run around adults legs. He notes everyone in this peaceful city has the pointed ears of the Fae. He self-consciously ruffles his hair to cover up his plain human ears.

People walk up to Asheeva as they move through the street, smiling widely and chatting amiably. They glance at Seungcheol when hey see him, but don’t make a move to be overly friendly. A polite Hello, Wanderer. Or a pleasant I see Sheeva here has roped you into being one of her little helpers! Lucky you. Seungcheol nods politely at them when they talk to him, but doesn’t engage in conversation.

A little kid tugs on his coat tails lightly, almost too light for him to have felt it. He bends down to the little girls level, and nods at her. “Good morning. Is there something you need, imoto?” She looks around 12, 10 years his junior, so imoto seems like an appropriate title to bestow upon her.

She tilts her head slightly, making her long hair sway and the little woven-in jewels and beads click like chimes. “What does that word mean?”

“Uh, well. Where I’m from, it means little sister. I don’t know your name, so I thought I might call you that. Until you tell me your name, I guess.” Seungcheol scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. While imoto is Japanese, and he is decidedly not that, it’s the only thing he could think of.

The girl’s eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline. “Oh, oh, how do you say big brother in your language? And what’s your language called? Where are you from? Are you from the North?”

Now, he can talk about Korea. “I guess, since you’re a girl, you would say oppa. If you were a boy you would say hyung. Um, my language is called Korean. I’m from Korea. It’s...not in the North. It’s a long way away. I haven’t been back there for a few years.” She looks at him sadly and he smiles at her. “It’s alright, though. Now, what where you tugging on my coat for, imoto? And what is your name?”

The girl suddenly gets shy. “I was wondering if you wanted to come and sit with me, over by the shrine. No one is talking to you, and I thought you looked lonely. And my name is Eva!”

“Well, Eva. My name’s Seungcheol.” Eva grins up at Seungcheol. She grabs for his hand, pulling him up and tugging him towards the shrine.

“This is where I sit during the day. None of the other younglings play with me, so I sit and draw or read or write or, sometimes I practice my magic! Do you have magic, Seungcheol? Can I call you big brother in... Coran?”

Seungcheol laughs. “Korean. But sure, if you want. And I do, actually. I have...a lot of magic. I use it a lot. What about you, hmm? What magic do you have?”

Eva goes bright red, wringing her hands in her lap. “Um, I can manipulate and summon jewels and change things into other things.”

“So can I. Change things, that is.”

“Really? Mama said that there’s no one else who can do that, other than me. People can make things disappear and new things reappear, but that no one else can actually change things like I can…” She runs her fingers through the leaves of a nearby bush, and when her hand comes away, there’s a chunk of moss agate stone between her fingers. “See? And now I can make it moonstone if I want.” Eva runs her fingers over the stone and it starts to shine, taking on a milky white color with iridescent blue marbling.

The stone sits in her palm now, looking much nicer than the already nice moonstones that Seungcheol saw on Asheeva’s diadem. Seungcheol nods at her and picks up a small rock from the ground. He rubs the stone slowly, willing it to become a pretty white rose. Eva makes an excited noise in her throat. “So you can do it!” Seungcheol smiles at her again and leans over, threading the rose behind her ear. She smiles sweetly, as people tend to do when Seungcheol does something sweet.

The hustle and bustle of the street suddenly quiets down. Seungcheol turns to see what the sudden disquiet is about, only to find everyone staring his and Eva’s way. People start whispering to each other without looking away from Seungcheol’s direction. He shifts uncomfortably under the sudden scrutinisation. “Why…” He pauses to swallow bile. “Why are they all staring?” He turns back to Eva.

“Because you’re the saviour the Wise One talked about, years ago, Lee Seungcheol.” Seungcheol looks to his left, where a willowy wisp of a woman sits beside him in Eva’s place. She looks like Eva, if Eva were a grown woman with pale silver hair and a circlet of stars. She’s wearing a gold dress similar to Asheeva’s, though this woman’s dress is much more extravagant.

“Oh, no you don’t. A saviour? What do you mean saviour? I just want to find my sister, man. I don’t have time to be a saviour!” He’s whining, and not reacting the way he thinks he should be reacting, but at this point in time Seungcheol honestly just wants a break from all the things that digress from finding his damn sister on this damn continent in this damn world he knows too little about.

#cheol #asheeva #backstory #powers #world #excerpt

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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thehowtostuff-blog · 6 years

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Do you have a child whose stims cause bodily injury, destruction, or other legitimately negative consequences? This wikiHow will help you learn how to redirect that energy compassionately and effectively.

Autistic teens and adults with this problem should read How to Replace Harmful Stims.

EditSteps

EditEvaluating the Stim

Redirecting stims may be an exhausting task for autistic kids. It's important only to take action when the stim causes actual harm.

Consider whether the stim is actually harmful. Just because a stim is a little odd or noticeable doesn't mean that it's a bad stim. A stim is bad if it fulfills one or more of these criteria:

Does it cause physical harm? (biting, head-banging)

Does it pose a health risk? (placing objects in the mouth, spinning until she falls down)

Does it make a mess or destroy things? (ripping paper)

Does it violate others' personal space? (playing with their hair without permission)

Does the autistic child say they want to change the stim?

Do not attempt to stop stims because they look weird. As a parent, teacher, or educator, it's understandable to be worried about autistic children being bullied. However, modifying the child's behavior for this reason sends the message that bullying is the natural consequence of looking different, and it is their fault for failing to be normal. It is the bullies who need the behavior change, not their victim.

Spend part of a day teaching students what autism is, and how to be supportive and helpful.

As a teacher, take bullying very seriously (in all forms, for all victims).

Cultivate an atmosphere of respect for individual differences. Children will model their behavior after yours.

Consider whether it is worth the energy to redirect. Teaching takes time and effort. It can be even more effort for the autistic child, if the new stim doesn't work quite as well. Trying to redirect too many stims can harm their self-esteem and ability to focus. Save serious interventions for serious cases.

EditUnderstanding the Stim

Once you've determined that the stim causes legitimate harm, it's time to figure out (1) what need it fulfills and (2) what other stims fulfill the same need.

Figure out what triggers the stim. What circumstances arise before the child begins stimming? Keep a journal tracking each instance. Here are some examples. (Keep in mind that possibilities are not limited to this list.)

Boredom/sensory seeking

Frustration

Hunger

Fear or pain

Consider what need the child is trying to address. Stimming is a tool. Talk to the child about it if you can, or draw hypotheses based on your log. Here are a few example possibilities:

Pain management

Sensory seeking (heavy work, touch, vestibular, etc.)

Release of pain or emotion

Cry for help or attention

Go to the autistic community. There is a group of experienced people who know exactly how these stims work—autistic adults. Try reading blogs and reaching out through the #AskAnAutistic hashtag.

Read lists of stims.

Read from autistic adults who had the same stims. What did they use as replacements? Did the replacements work?

Draw up a list of alternative ways to fulfill the need. The child can try these out and use the ones that work best.

For a heavy work sensory seeker, try wall push-ups, lifting heavy objects, and grasping the hands and pulling the elbows away from each other.

For a biter, get gum, candy, and chewy jewelry.

For a head-banger, try heavy work, hitting their fist or head against couch cushions, or hitting their head against a glider rocker.

EditTalking to the Child

Take the child aside and explain your feelings about their harmful stim. Make it clear why this stim is not a good one, so that they recognize that there is a good reason for them to stop. Then propose your suggestions.

For example, "It worries me when I see you hitting your head like that. You could hurt yourself. I'm sure it's not fun for you either. What if you tried punching pillows, or hitting your head against couch cushions instead?"

Many nonverbal children can understand spoken words, even if they look inattentive. Explain it even if you aren't sure that they can understand.

Have a dialogue about the stim. Ask your child if they have any ideas for replacement stims, and what they think would help them use the harmful stim less. If their ideas are incorporated into the plan, it helps them feel ownership of the process.

"Do you think chewy jewelry would help?" "Would you like to help me pick out some jewelry from the website?"

"This is the list of ideas I wrote. What do you think? Should we add or change anything?"

"Let's go to the store this afternoon, and you can pick out the stim toys you want to try."

Talk about how you can help. Your support can help the child transition to a better coping mechanism. For example, if your son puts objects in his mouth, and the two of you decide that gum is better, he may not have gum on hand all the time. Make it clear that whenever he wants gum, all he needs to do is ask, and you'll give it to him.

Discuss prevention for stims that only arise under distress. For example, if your student hits herself when she's upset, talk to her about what makes her so upset, and what you can do to help. Maybe she can't handle noisy classrooms, or she's struggling with English, or she has an underlying condition that's giving her headaches. Address the underlying problem and the bad stim may disappear.

Give gentle reminders if you notice them using the harmful stim again. They may use the stim unconsciously, forget about the alternatives, et cetera. Speak patiently so that they know you aren't mad at them. Ask them what they should do, or remind them what they should do.

"LeBron, is that food? Does it belong in your mouth?" "What belongs in your mouth?"

"What do we do when we want to play with hair?"

"Remember, when we want to spin, we stop before we get dizzy. Your trampoline is right over there if spinning isn't enough."

"Honey, you're hurting your head."

Be compassionate if they are upset. Autistic children may revert to harmful stims if they are under large amounts of stress. Use a very patient tone of voice, and ask as little of them as possible to avoid further stressing them. If they are in danger of harming themselves, give a gentle reminder. Otherwise, choose to remind them once they're calm or just let it slide.

"Julie, I understand you're upset and hurting. Why don't we put a pillow between your hands and your head so you don't injure yourself?"

"Please don't bite yourself. Here's your stress ball and chewy toy. Would you like to take one?"

"Rosario, I saw that you were hitting yourself this morning. You seemed very upset, and I was worried about you. Would you like to talk about what happened?"

Avoid grabbing or crowding them, as they may panic and lash out.

Congratulate them when they successfully use the new stim or ask for help. While they probably understand why they should do it, a little encouragement from you never hurts. It will help them remember to keep working on it, feel proud of their progress, and use healthy stims to keep everyone happy and safe.

"LeBron, I'll get you a carrot right away. Thank you for asking."

"Rosario, I'm glad that you told me that the classroom was too loud as soon as it started bothering you. You didn't hit yourself once! Feel free to come to me any time you're getting really upset."

"Julie, I just wanted to say how brave and strong you were, head-butting the couch cushions today instead of punching yourself. You did a wonderful job handling your frustration, and I'm proud of you."

"Alison, thank you for biting your chewy necklace instead of your hand. Let me know if you want any gum to chew if you get tired of your necklace."

EditPositive Lifestyle

The right lifestyle can help an autistic child adapt well to the world and live a happy life.

Give your child plenty of exercise. Activity can help boost mood, improve general health, and moderate the need to stim. Try taking walks, swinging, hiking, climbing, swimming, biking, and whatever the autistic child might enjoy.

Offer plenty of positive stimming activities. Stimming is important to your child's sense of well-being. Here are some items you can keep around the house for them to interact with:

Beanbag chair

Swing

Fidget toys (tangles, stress balls, and more)

Floor trampoline

Lava lamps and fans to watch

Protect your child from anti-autism influences. Some therapists will try to force compliance, extinguish stimming, or do other things that harm your child. Only take your child to therapy that they enjoy (or at minimum, feel neutral towards). Make it clear to other adults that your child's differences are to be respected.

ABA therapy can be dangerous, particularly if done by providers who aren't careful in their approach. Be cautious about compliance-based therapies, as they may harm more than they help.

Steer your child away from negative or unkind people. If your child is mistreated, talk to them and explain that what happened wasn't okay and the child didn't deserve it.

Autism cannot be cured or ethically suppressed. If someone is claiming that they can do this, beware.

Work on your child's strengths too. Encourage their special interests and other abilities. Find ways to make them feel competent and talented. Growing up is not only about improving one's weaknesses, but building upon one's strengths.

Keep communication open. Honor all the child's communication attempts—speech, typing and other forms of AAC, gestures, body language, and behavior. Paying attention to the child's communication encourages them to communicate more. Help them learn to recognize their needs and ask for help when they need it.

Practice patience. Your child faces many everyday struggles that non-disabled people never have to worry about. If you were in their situation, you'd cry and melt down too. Treat them with compassion, and presume competence, and treat them like they want to behave well.

Shower them with love. Your child is a person with feelings. Show that you care about them (including the autistic parts of them), and that they are not a burden or tragedy in your eyes. Your acceptance and love are what they need most of all.

EditTips

If the replacement stim isn't working very well, it may be that it doesn't address the underlying need. Go back to researching and observing.

EditRelated wikiHows

Handle Stimming in Autistic Children

Make a Behavior Intervention Plan for an Autistic Child

Reduce Maladaptive Behavior in Children with Disabilities

Replace Harmful Stims

Be Patient With Kids

Choose Toys for Autistic Children

Listen

Raise Children Who Think for Themselves

Stim

EditSources and Citations

The Stimming Checklist: There's a flap for that (contains both positive and negative examples)

Autism Wiki: Stimming

Cynthia Kim: Socially Inappropriate

Stimming (a parent's personal reflection)

Julia Bascom: Quiet Hands trigger warning for ableism and abuse

from How to of the Day https://ift.tt/2El9pvw

#How To Stuff #Blogger

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themomsandthecity · 6 years

Text

5 Things You Shouldn't Say To Parents With a Child With Autism

I'm a mom of two beautiful boys. My youngest has autism. Parenting them both comes with many challenges, and like most parents, I try my best. While I have an amazing support system to help me along the way - which I wouldn't survive without - not everyone has been understanding. I have come across people that say or do the wrong thing, many of whom probably don't mean to. Maybe they didn't realize their words would leave an impact, but they did . . . they do. Because it's normal to not always know the right thing to do in certain situations, here are the things you shouldn't say to a parent like me. 1. "I'm sorry." It took me almost a year to be able to say, "My son has autism." When I finally started to actually say it out loud to co-workers, friends, and family, I was taken aback by how many responded with "I'm sorry." I associate the sorry response to someone passing away, and my son is alive and well. He wasn't talking much at the time, occasionally biting and hitting, and watching a lot of Thomas the Tank Engine episodes, but he was (and still is) in great health. But here's the thing, I'm not really sure what the proper response should be. Once during a job interview, when I was being upfront about my life and the need to work a day from home to accommodate my son's therapy sessions, the boss interviewing me said she was sorry. But she also asked if "I'm sorry" was the right response. She wanted to make sure she was appropriate and didn't offend going forward. I shrugged and said, "I'm not really sure." I wish I had the answer for this one, but I don't. Maybe going forward your response to "My son has autism" should just be "OK," or "If you ever need anything, I'm here." 2. "My kids are driving me nuts, but I know I shouldn't complain to you." Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. You leave the hospital with a tiny, helpless infant and you're expected to turn them into a responsible adult. There's no training manual, and it's a thankless job that never ends. So believe me, I'm on board when a friend needs to vent about the latest thing their kid is doing to drive them insane. So instead of tip-toeing around what you want to say, just tell me all about how mad you are that your kid wouldn't wear a nice shirt for school pictures, because I get it (you're talking to a mom whose kid fights to get dressed and hates wearing a coat or shoes)! In fact, I probably understand more than your other mom friends because I have to deal with it every day. So don't hold back; bring it on and lets help each other smile over raising these little ones. We will survive - together! 3. "You're doing an amazing job." Have you ever played pin the tail on the donkey? Parenting a child with special needs is a lot like that. You're blindfolded, spun around, and then released into the world and expected to go straight, yet you're constantly off balance and can't find your way. Thank you for saying I'm awesome, but I feel more like that little tail. I'm desperately trying to put it in the right place. I never feel like I'm doing enough. I never feel like I'm doing the right thing. I never feel awesome. But I do know I would spin around in circles for the rest of my life if it meant my little boy would be OK. On second thought, you can tell me that my husband and I are amazing, we just won't believe you until we've done everything we can for our son. 4. "Things will get better." OK, I know you mean well and this statement might even be in response to witnessing an epic meltdown, but what if things don't get better? What if, for the rest of my son's life, he hates wearing shoes? Yes, he can move to California and find a barefoot-friendly job like surfing, but what about tomorrow when I have to get him out the door to school? You see, getting an autism diagnosis, much like becoming a parent, doesn't come with an instruction manual. When one thing seems to start to disappear, he'll suddenly find something new to be anxious about. Currently, it's his fear that a shirt won't fit over his head. So we have to shove our heads through the hole to prove it will be OK, every single day, twice a day (pajamas, too). I don't know what the future holds. You don't either. I know you want things to be better for us and I do too. For now, just hug me and buy me some wine. 5. "Why can't you get your kid to behave?" Oh, lady in the food store. If you have a magic wand and can make this happen, especially in public, please do. I think all parents can agree that we prefer our kids to behave and not cause a seen in public, right? I do not head to the food store with two kids just to ruin your day - believe me! I wish I had a private shopper and chef to take care of feeding my family, but until I hit the lottery, you're going to get my boys eating a bag a pita chips as we fly through the store. If you're offended that my son with autism didn't answer when you asked him his name, get over it. But lady, if he answered you, just know I would have done a jig right there in the aisle - maybe even kissed you - so be careful what you ask for! Related The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say to Another Mom Above all, please just remember to be kind. http://bit.ly/2hAhg1F

#Parenting Tips and Advice #Special Needs #Autism #Parenting

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