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#been sitting on this opinion piece for a couple of days and finally got around to translating it
clarabosswald · 2 months
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"Win all the Battles, Lose the War" by Yuval Noah Harari
Who wins the Israel-Hamas war? It depends, of course, on how you define victory. In a soccer game, the side that scores more goals wins. In a war, the winner is not necessarily the one who kills more people, takes more prisoners, destroys more houses, or conquers more territory - the winner is the side that achieves its political goals. In the Iraq war, for example, the Americans won all the battles, occupied the entire country, captured Saddam Hussein and completely toppled his regime - but the war ended in a crushing political defeat for the USA and Iran becoming the "proprietor" in Iraq and the most powerful country in the Middle East. The existential threat that hovers over our heads today is partly a consequence of the American "victory" on the battlefields in Iraq. It could happen again. If we don't get our policy goals right, we could win all the battles and lose the war. So in the current war, who is closer to achieving their political goals? To answer this question, one must first know what the political goals of the parties are. Hamas' goals are quite clear. In the immediate term, Hamas's goal on October 7 was to sabotage the agreement that was being forged between Israel and Saudi Arabia. It's a bit hard to remember, but in the weeks before October 7 it was reported that Israel came very close to the possibility of a historic peace with Saudi Arabia, which would normalize relations between Israel and most of the Arab world and fundamentally change Israel's position in the world. Hamas stopped that.
In the longer term, Hamas' goal was to sow seeds of hatred in the minds of millions, to ensure that for generations to come there would be neither peace nor normalization between Israel and the Arab world. Hamas planned to carry out a particularly cruel massacre, and even took care to photograph and document the atrocities, in order to cause the Israelis as much pain as possible. Hamas assumed that Israel would respond to this massacre with tremendous force, which would also cause immense pain to the Palestinians. This was all a conscious part of the plan. The name that Hamas gave to its attack indicates its intentions. The attack was called "Tupan" - the flood. Like the biblical flood that destroyed humanity, Hamas intended to wreak havoc on a biblical scale. Does Hamas not care about the suffering that this war has inflicted and continues to inflict on Palestinian citizens? Hamas supporters certainly have different feelings and opinions, but the organization's basic worldview does not attach importance to human suffering. The highest goals of Hamas are dictated by religious fantasies. For Hamas, Palestinians who are killed in the war are martyrs, who now enjoy heavenly pleasures in heaven. As more people die, there are more martyrs who enjoy heaven. And as far as our physical world is concerned, from the point of view of a fundamentalist organization like Hamas, human society on earth can have only one goal - uncompromising loyalty to heavenly principles of purity and justice. Since in order to make peace one must always compromise on justice, organizations like Hamas reject any opportunity for peace, and demand that people will fight at any cost for absolute justice and absolute purity.
This, by the way, explains the apparently strange phenomenon of radical left-wing organizations in Western democracies that absolve Hamas of any responsibility for the atrocities in Israel and the humanitarian disaster in Gaza, and lay the full blame on Israel alone. The connection between the radical left and Hamas is the belief in absolute justice, the unwillingness to accept the complexity of this world, and the division of the world into pure good facing absolute evil. Justice is a noble goal, but the claim to absolute justice inevitably leads to endless war. There was not a single peace treaty in the history of mankind that did not require compromises, and that provided absolute justice.
Finally, Hamas' actual grand plan was that its surprise attack and the Israeli countermeasures would set the West Bank on fire, lead to an uprising of the Palestinian citizens of Israel, and also drag Hezbollah, Iran and other forces into the war, who together might land a blow on Israel that would shock and perhaps even destroy the country. This is the flood that Hamas wishes for. So how close is Hamas to achieving its goals?
As far as preventing an Israeli-Saudi agreement and destroying any chance for future peace and normalization between Jews and Arabs - then Hamas is very close to victory. As a matter of fact, Hamas has already achieved far beyond what it hoped for, because it has succeeded in sowing hatred not only in the minds of millions of Israelis and Palestinians, but also in the minds of hundreds of millions more people all over the world. Antisemitism is on the rise, while Israel's international standing is at an unprecedented low, even in the Western democracies that have been our allies for years. Every additional day in which Palestinians are killed or starved in Gaza advances Hamas another step on its path.
As far as dragging more forces into the war, so far Hamas' success is much more limited. But time plays in their favor. Hamas has already bet the whole jackpot, and even if so far they have not won the big prize, the roulette is still spinning. Every day a battle between Israel and Hezbollah, and every confrontation on the Temple Mount, are another round of the roulette. One wrong decision or a rocket that hits the wrong place may realize Hamas' grand plan and bring forth the flood.
And what about Israel? Do our tremendous sacrifices and the IDF's achievements on the battlefield bring us closer to our political goals? Even if Hamas has achieved some of its goals, perhaps we have also achieved some of our goals, so that a draw can be declared? These questions are very difficult to answer, because the Netanyahu government manages this war is without defining political goals. The government repeatedly says that the goal is to eliminate Hamas. Israel of course has a full right and even obligation to protect its territory and its citizens. The elimination of Hamas' military capabilities is also essential in order to open the way to future peace and normalization, because as long as Hamas possesses significant military power, it will use it to thwart any serious attempt at an arrangement. Whenever we get close to an agreement, Hamas will attack, as it did on October 7. But even if Israel succeeds in disarming Hamas, that is a military achievement, not a political goal. As stated before, the Americans in Iraq eliminated all the military power of Saddam Hussein and collapsed his regime, and still suffered a crushing political defeat. In 1982, Israel invaded Lebanon to eliminate the threat of Fatah. The threat of Fatah was successfully removed - and in its place we got the threat of Hezbollah. Does Israel have an orderly plan that explains how defeating Hamas leads to saving the peace treaty with Saudi Arabia, to a sustainable arrangement in Gaza, to the restoration of our international status, or to some other desired political goal? Without such a plan, it is impossible to make military decisions such as whether to attack Rafah or to cease fire.
When we have to choose between an attack in Rafah and a ceasefire, it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland who came to a crossroads and wasn't sure whether to turn right or left. She asked the Cheshire Cat which way she should go. The cat said to her: "Where do you want to go?" "I don't know," replied Alice. "Then," the cat decided, "it doesn't matter which way you choose." If we don't know where we want to go, how do we know if the road there leads through an attack in Rafah or through a ceasefire?
So does Israel have political goals in the war? It seems not. Some of the members of the government are captive to their own biblical visions and dreams of divine revenge and absolute justice. The prime minister, for his part, has not given a single speech since the beginning of the war in which he articulates his political vision, and it seems that this vision is summed up in one and only one goal: to retain his seat. The October 7 War extends by a month and another month, and the Hamas-ian flood threatens to drown the entire region in blood. It is impossible to wait until after the war to establish an alternative government that does have a political vision. The war is only a tool to achieve political goals. Letting a policy-less government lead a war is a sure recipe to defeat. No matter how many victories are achieved on the battlefield, and at what cost, it is impossible to translate a military victory into a political achievement if there is no policy.
Political goals are also essential for Israeli hasbara. If Israel chooses to initiate a certain military action, there are three main ways to justify it. It can be argued that this is revenge for October 7. That won't convince anyone but ourselves, because even our greatest friends think we've had enough revenge. It can be argued that everything we do is to free the hostages. It no longer convinces even the families of the hostages, certainly when only three were released militarily. The alternative is to present a political plan to the world, and explain why additional military operations are necessary to realize it. As long as the Israeli government does not present a political plan, Israeli hasbara has no chance of convincing world public opinion. And who knows, if we finally define political goals, maybe we will discover that there is no need at all for more military operations to fulfill them?
For all these reasons, it is necessary to immediately establish a government that has a political vision, based on striving for a sustainable compromise and not on biblical fantasies and demands for absolute justice. And if you insist on some biblical fantasy, then here is one: at the end of the flood, a dove with an olive branch in its beak arrived. Of course, after the October 7 massacre, compromise and peace seem completely impossible. But such things have happened before.
30 years ago, in 1994, a terrible massacre took place in Rwanda reminiscent of the horrors of October 7. In one day the Hutus tortured, raped and murdered thousands of Tutsis - men and women, elderly and children. Entire families and villages were wiped off the face of the earth. It was a horrifically brutal killing spree, with machetes, hatchets, hoes and clubs. The next day, it happened again. And the next day, it happened again. And the next day, it happened again. What the Israelis experienced on the terrible Saturday of October 7, the Tutsis experienced for about a hundred consecutive days between April 7 and mid-July 1994. It is estimated that during these hundred days the Hutus murdered about 800 thousand people and raped hundreds of thousands of women. The massacre ended when the Tutsi resistance movement defeated the Hutu army, and took control of Rwanda. About two million Hutus fled the country. 30 years later, peace reigns between the Tutsi and Hutu. The Tutsi leadership led a process of reconciliation and healing, and accepted back to Rwanda the vast majority of Hutus who fled. Today Hutu and Tutsi live together in peace in Rwanda, which is considered one of the most peaceful and prosperous countries in Africa. Recently it has even become a popular tourist destination. People fly on vacation to Rwanda and visit picturesque villages in the hills where Hutu and Tutsi live together, and the tourists are unable to believe what happened in their vacation spots just 30 years ago. If they succeeded, maybe we have hope too.
Jewish history can also teach us similar lessons. On October 7, many Israelis, including several members of my family and friends, experienced horrors reminiscent of the darkest moments of the Holocaust. But eight decades after the Holocaust, Germans and Israelis are now good friends. It is important to emphasize that healing processes such as those between the Tutsis and the Hutus and between the Jews and the Germans are not based on achieving absolute justice. How is such justice possible? Can anyone bring the corpses back to life, or put the scream back into the throat? As a historian, I know that the curse of history is the attempt to save the past. This attempt stands no chance. We cannot save the past. We must focus on the future. We need to heal the wounds of the past, instead of using them as an excuse for more and more new wounds.
After hundreds of thousands of Palestinians lost their homes in 1948, Arab countries expelled hundreds of thousands of Jews from their territories. Since then, wound haunts wound in a seemingly endless cycle of blood. But we don't have to continue this cycle indefinitely. There is a possibility of stopping it, as can be learned from the behavior of Palestinian citizens of Israel. When Hamas gave the signal for the flood, it hoped that the Israeli Palestinians would join the circle of blood and attack their Jewish neighbors. Many Jews - and quite a few Arabs - lived in fear that this was exactly what was going to happen. In practice, the behavior of the Palestinian citizens of Israel since October 7 is a ray of light in the darkness. On October 7 itself, some of the Palestinian citizens of Israel were murdered by Hamas while trying to help the Jews, such as Abd al-Rahman Al-Nassara of al-Kasifa, who was murdered by terrorists when he came to rescue survivors from the [Nova] party, and Awad Musa Darawshe of Iksal, who was killed near Kibbutz Re'im while helping the wounded. Every day that has passed since then, tens of thousands of Palestinian citizens have continued to serve faithfully in all the institutions of Israeli society, from hospitals to government offices, while their friends and relatives in Gaza face death, refugeehood and hunger. The chairman of the Joint List party, Iman Odeh, denounced the October 7 massacre, saying that these were "horrific scenes that cannot be described. I cannot accept that in the name of the Palestinian people innocents are being killed in this way," and Ra'am Chairman Mansour Abbas called the massacre "an inhumane and unjustifiable act that goes against the values ​​of Islam," and said that "the armed Palestinian organizations should lay down their weapons" and strive for peace with the State of Israel.
In order for all of us to have a real chance to get out of the cycle of bloodshed, the first step is to define a clear political goal for this war. Hamas has such a goal: to eliminate any chance of peace between Israel and the Arab world and the Palestinians. Israel's goal should be no less clear: to maintain the chance for peace. If Israel succeeds in disarming Hamas at the military level, but is left without a political horizon, then Hamas has defeated us.
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seokmattchuus · 1 year
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Stray Kids Reaction to you being insecure about your stomach/stretch marks
A/n: I don't know how I feel about this, tbh. The gifs are ass, though, that I do know. If this is bad, don't tell me, I'll cry. Ialsocan'trememberifIproofreadthisornotI'msosorry
- Requested -
Chan: He was home early to surprise you when he heard you mumbling to yourself. He’d heard the words on more than one occasion, and it always got to him. He just couldn’t understand how you saw yourself any less than how he saw you. Especially when he saw how upset you looked as you glared at your reflection.
“Whatcha mumbling about, baby girl?” His voice pulled you from your whisper rant.
“I just.” You paused, letting the shirt fall as you turned to look at him walking in. “I don’t like myself right now.”
“Everyone has things they don’t like.” He smiled reassuringly as he wrapped his arms around you. “It might pass soon, it might not.” His tone becoming more serious. “But it doesn’t matter.” He paused to kiss your nose. “Because until then, I’ll love you enough for the both of us.”
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Minho: Goes to check up on you when he feels you’re taking too long to get ready only to find you struggling with your brand-new corset. Knows why you’re doing it but can’t help but feel upset when you tell him you’re only doing it ‘so the dress will look better’.
“So, one more piece of clothing to take off?” He sighed jokingly as his hands ran over the rough fabric instead of your soft skin, quickly taking it back as you slapped his arm. “I just don’t get how that’s comfortable.”
“It’s not.” You spoke truthfully. “But I’d rather this than feel weird all night.”
“How about we just don’t go?” He offered. “We can just stay home and lay in bed.” He gave you his best smirk with a wink. “Plus, we can be completely comfortable wearing those matching pajamas we got?”
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Changbin: He hated how you constantly made self-depreciating jokes and was trying to help you stop, but of course, it would take time. It was the ones about your weight that got to him the most, feeling more upset that you saw yourself that way enough to joke about it.
“Me? In a tank top?” You cringed. “I can’t subject them to that.” You paused. “Maybe once I lose some wei-”
“Y/n,” He gave you a warning look. “You know I don’t like it when you do that.”
“I can’t help it.” You pouted. “It just slips out sometimes.”
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Hyunjin: He couldn’t help but notice how you’d been managing to slip out of his hold the past couple days, especially right before bed, or when he was waking you up. When he finally brings it up, you just wiggle out his grip again.
“Why do you hate me?” He jokingly pouted.
“That’s not what I said.” You sighed. “I just.” You paused. “I feel weird right now.”
“Big hoodies?” He offered, smiling when you nodded. "I'll go get them."
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Jisung: He’d been on tour and missed you asking for his opinion on your outfits. So, when he calls asking what you were wearing out that day, he doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Is determined to see how good you look and never shut up about it.
“I wanna see the outfit, love.” He looked over his camera as if it were going to do something. “If I wanted a description, I wouldn’t have video called.”
“But it looks weird~” You whined.
“Liar." He pouted. "Then at least show me so I can reassure you that it doesn’t~” He whined back.
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Felix: When he first saw your new collection of baggy hoodies, he thought you were trying to be ‘cute’ and ‘soft’, but as it went on, he could tell there was another reason. He never liked to call you out, but when he overheard you talking about how weird you looked, he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore.
“So, you’re telling me you weren’t trying to look cute for me?” He pouted playfully.
“How did you manage to make this about you?” You tilted your head at your boyfriend, mildly annoyed.
“You know that’s not what I meant.” He sighed as he opened his arms for you to sit with him. “I just didn’t think you were having these issues.” He looked up at you as you sat in his lap. “We can talk about it now. Or later. I'm ready when you are."
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Seungmin: Offered to let you use his when you started asking about skin care products, but was disheartened to find out you weren’t looking for facial care products. He didn’t ask for specifics, not wanting to push, but he also didn’t want to leave it unaddressed.
"Babe," He sighed, his hands wrapping around you lovingly. “You don't really think that, do you?" He paused to look at you, his heart pinging when you just shrug.
"They don't go away with exercise." You mumbled. "I just think I'd look bet-"
"Nope." He cut you off, not wanting to hear the rest of what you had to say, his arms opening for you. “You look perfect no matter what.” He reassured as he gave you grabby hands. "Now c'mere."
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Jeongin: Notices that you started opting to wear longer shirts instead of your usual crop tops and can’t get over the nagging in the back of his head that it’s something he shouldn’t take too lightly.
“What about that cute shirt I bought you when I took you shopping?” He said as he walked towards you.
“I just hate that it shows.” You mumbled, playing with the hem of your shirt. “Y’know..”
“Shows what?” He asked genuinely. “How cute you are?”
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bratzforchris · 11 months
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Hiii, hope your day is going good :) Do you think you can write something similar to your Thanksgiving Luke fic but with Calum? Please?
Unhappy Halloween
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Summary: Calum takes enjoying candy at Halloween a little too far
Pairing: Calum x gender neutral reader
Warnings: None
Word Count: 901
A/N: I changed the prompt a bit to fit my motivation, but it's still the same concept :)
Ever since you had told him you would be celebrating Halloween, Calum had been beyond excited. Growing up in Australia, he hadn’t had much experience with the holiday. At least, not the way American children did. Therefore, he had waited anxiously for October 31st, and it was finally, finally here. You two had decided to be a vampire couple to go to the Halloween party being thrown at your friend’s house, which in your opinion, was absolutely adorable. 
Before you even got out the door to head to the party, Calum was sneaking a few pieces of chocolate out of the bowl that you had set outside of your apartment for trick or treaters. 
“Cal!” You exclaimed as you caught him out of the corner of your eye. “Those are for the kids!”
“Sorry,” he mumbled sheepishly, shoving a chocolate in his mouth. “I just like sweets.”
“I know you do.” You said, rolling your eyes playfully and kissing his cheek. 
By the time you two arrived at your friend’s house, the party was in full swing, with lots of loud music and decorations. At the front door, there was a bowl of candy with a cute sign, urging guests to take a few pieces. You declined, instead waiting for the drinks and desserts in the house. Calum, however, did not. He stuck his hand into the bowl, grabbing a few pieces of candy before following you into the house. 
Your friend had truly gone all out, decorating everything with cobwebs, plastic spiders, and even a fog machine. On their dining room table was a large potluck full of Halloween foods. There were a few savory items, but most of them were sweets and candies. You watched as your boyfriend’s eyes went wide, surveying the table. 
“Is this American Halloween every year?” he asked. 
You nodded, watching him already gravitate towards the table. “We’re all addicted to sugar.” You joked playfully. 
Calum didn’t seem to register your words as he loaded up his plate with candy, cookies, and a cupcake. “Okay, Halloween is definitely up there as one of the best holidays.” he stated. 
You giggled and took a few sweets yourself, leading him over to where your friends were sitting on the couch. The conversation amongst your friends and Calum came easily, making it easy to pop a candy or two into his mouth as he listened to their wild stories from your college days. 
“These cupcakes are good. Have you tried them?” You said, offering your boyfriend a mini cake. 
You hadn’t yet realized the amount of sugar he had already consumed and put the treat onto his plate, smiling happily. Despite feeling rather full and slightly “buzzed” from the amount of sugar he had consumed, Calum popped the cupcake into his mouth. You looked so happy and eager to celebrate the holiday with him that Calum couldn’t just tell you no. 
Around eleven, you yawned sleepily, snuggling into Calum’s side. “You ready to head home, babe?”
He also nodded, beginning to feel the effects the sugar was having on his body. He wouldn’t tell you, though. It was late and you had had such a great night that he didn’t want to ruin it for you by admitting that he might’ve eaten a bit too much. “Mhm.” he smiled, putting on a smile for you. 
Once you had reached the car, you became more alert since you had to drive. You noticed that Calum was quieter than usual, leaning his head against the window. “You okay, babe?” You asked him, cocking a brow. 
“Yep.” he said shortly, but not unkindly. 
“You’re being awfully quiet…” You said softly, rubbing his thigh with your hand. 
Calum bit his lip, deciding he had to tell you. The pain was getting to be too much and he just wanted to curl up in bed with you and have you rub his belly. “My stomach hurts…” he said softly. 
“Awww, I’m sorry, babe,” You pouted. “Too much candy?”
He nodded his head softly, wrapping an arm around his stomach. “Can we cuddle when we get home?” 
You cooed, patting his thigh gently. “Of course, babe. We’re about five minutes away.”
Calum leaned his head against the window for the rest of the drive until you finally pulled into the driveway. You helped him inside, rubbing his back gently, before going to the kitchen and heating up a hot water bottle for him. By the time you returned, Calum was curled up on the couch, shirtless and in sweatpants. He had discarded the costume–most likely because of the tight pants–but in your opinion, he still looked adorable. 
“I got you a heating pack, baby.” You said softly, climbing onto the couch with him. 
“Thank you.” he gave you a soft smile, immediately holding it to his stomach and taking in the warmth. 
You nuzzled into his side, your hand on top of the hot water bottle. “I’m sorry you don’t feel well.” You said quietly. 
“Kinda my fault.” he giggled and then winced slightly. 
“Was your first Halloween good, though?” You asked, removing the hot pack to rub his tummy. 
Calum nodded quickly, a smile on his face despite the pain. “It was amazing. I got to spend it with you, duh,” he said, pulling a slightly goofy face. “I just ate too much sugar.”
“I can tell. I love you, Calum. Happy Halloween.” 
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collecting-stories · 2 years
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Hey! Happy 11K girlie!! You deserve it!! Also funny enough I just left OBX and didn’t realize until I saw one of your posts and put 2&2 together that that stood for OuterBanks lmaoo anyywayyy:
I’d love to request a Jess Mariano x Roommate! reader
The first bullet point on the Roommate AU’s where they move in with a mural friend it’s like enemies to lovers: what if the mural friend is the Readers Brother (Foster , biological, adoptive whatever). They know Jess from the publishing scene and their sister (Reader) needs a place to crash for a while. Jess and the brother have been living together for a while and are comfortable but like the sister comes and messes up what Jess calls in a sarcastic tone “the  Feng shui”.Maybe Reader is an Artist and fills the flat with art and that’s how her and Jess bond? Or
((This is the Roommate AU : We’re both moving into the same apartment with a mutual friend of ours but we didn’t know each other and it’s dislike at first sight, but now we’ve got to live together))
Thank you!!! And 🤣 about the obx/outer banks thing!!
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Roommates - Jess Mariano
Summary: you move into your brother's apartment and clash with his roommate, Jess.
A/N: You know I wrote this whole thing and forgot the feng shui line! I really wanted to use it too but then I couldn't figure out where to fit it in and I really wanted to post this so I apologize for that!!
Gilmore Girls Masterlist || Celebrate 11k with me
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Maybe if he closed his eyes and opened them again, or punched himself hard enough, everything would be back in its place. His mug, sentimental in that he’d swiped it from Luke’s the first time he moved out of Stars Hollow, would be sitting right there inside the cabinet door above the coffee maker (the only valuable thing you’d contributed to the apartment, in his opinion).  
“Are you having an aneurysm or something?”  
Jess turned around almost comically slow, hand still on the doorknob of the cabinet, to find you standing behind him with the exact mug that he was looking for in one hand, eyebrow raised skeptically. No one had ever claimed that Jess wasn’t judgemental, but you might have outmatched him in that category. The look on your face right now surely beat half a life’s worth of judgement on his end.  
“I was trying to have a cup of coffee, couldn’t find my mug.” He made a point of looking at the mug in your hands, his mug, as if to get his words across. Passive aggressive maybe, but when he moved into this apartment with another editor at Truncheon he hadn’t expected to be saddled with you too.  
You were only supposed to be down in Philadelphia for a week. At least, that was what your brother had led Jess to believe when he’d first posed the idea to him. “Hey, my sister’s in town for a couple days, would it be cool if she crashed with us?” Jess wasn’t heartless, he agreed to a couple days (your brother apparently didn’t understand the definition of a couple) but this wasn’t visiting. You had all your stuff in their apartment, crammed in with their stuff. Clothes and wound up in the wrong pile, in the wrong room. Art supplies that littered countertops and desks.  
He’d admit that you were a talented artist, he’d admired a few of the pieces that you had in your room whenever he happened to be in there (returning pairs of socks or taking back the pen you borrowed and never returned).  But being a talented artist didn’t make you less of a pain in his ass.  
“There are other mugs.” You replied, finally stepping around him and refilling the mug that was in your hands. His mug.  
In all honesty it was a simple mistake. You hadn’t intentionally taken the mug that apparently had such a sentimental place in Jess’ heart that he was debating not having coffee at all, you had just reached for the first one available.  
When Jess didn’t say anything and made no move to acknowledge that there were, in fact, other mugs in the cabinet, you finally spoke again, “I can throw this out? I’ll even rinse all the girl cooties off it,” you teased.  
Your brother had described Jess as ‘super chill’ and while your brother had never been spot on with descriptions you hadn’t expected him to be so far off either.  
“I don’t want any.” Jess finally said, closing the cabinet and moving passed you into the hallway.  
“It’s a mug Jess, it’s not the end of the world,” you remarked, setting the cup of coffee on the counter and going into the refrigerator for cream.  
“My mug,” Jess clarified, turning back around to you, “and my printer because apparently yours is busted and my t-shirt cause you don’t wanna get stains on yours. You know; I put up with a lot of your brother’s shit at work, I don’t feel like getting stuck with your shit around the apartment when I’m home.”  
“First of all, the printer is in the living room, you don’t want me to use it? Move it. Second of all, do you even listen to Metallica or was it just some stupid ‘don’t talk to me’ shirt you got in high school to repel people? Cause you don’t really strike me as the heavy metal type.” 
“Stay out of my stuff.” Jess replied, leaving the kitchen and heading to his bedroom. He was half-tempted to rip the mug off the counter and pour the coffee in the sink but he was thirty and that seemed a little childish for thirty.  
Things with Jess didn’t get any better when you extended your timeline in Philly to include a couple extra months (“I’ve got a show in D.C. but it’s stupid for me to move everything down there for a month when I can just commute on the weekends”). Jess made a comment about you grifting your way along the east coast despite both of you knowing that you paid your share of the rent every month on time. Things didn’t get better, necessarily, but they didn’t get worse either. You stayed out of his way for the most part and, aside from the Metallica shirt that had paint stains on it, you made a mental note to stay out of his things.  
“I already told you I wasn’t going,” Jess commented, hanging his keys by the door and dropping his backpack. He was on the phone, switching it to speaker and placing it on the entryway table as he kicked his shoes off.  
Your brother’s voice came through the speakers, “Oh come on man; I can’t go. I thought I could but I’ve got a date tonight and I can’t cancel again.”  
“That’s not my fault, I told you I didn’t wanna do these parties.” Jess replied.  
You had been working on a painting in your room, door ajar, and you could hear Jess on the phone. You weren’t one to eavesdrop but you couldn’t help yourself, stretching your arms and heading into the hallway, slowly making your way into the living room. Jess was still on the phone, attempting to make a case for not going to the party. It was more a wine and cheese night to schmooze the people who gave money to Truncheon and that wasn’t Jess’ scene at all but your brother was never good at scheduling himself, or being responsible, and Jess was usually the one to pay the price.  
“I’ll go with you,” you spoke up before you could even really think about what you were offering. Spending an entire evening at a stuffy cocktail party in a used bookstore with a roommate who actively hated you; it wasn’t your best decision but you were art blocked and Jess was a surprising source of inspiration.  
Your brother asked what was happening as Jess stared at you, mildly surprised, “your sister’s gonna go with me.”  
“Maybe you guys can resolve all the weird sexual tension.” Your brother announced and Jess scrambled to quiet the phone.  
“You were on speaker you moron,” he snapped, carrying his phone and his backpack into his bedroom.  
Jess didn’t give you much more information but you’d been to plenty of events like this for galleries and knew most of what to expect. You dressed nice enough, you sipped at a familiar red wine and you talked to some older man about the Subsect and tried to keep an eye on Jess just in case you needed an excuse to make a get away.  
A couple of times throughout the evening you made eye contact, raising your eyebrows in amusement or offering a smirk at something someone else said. Jess would smile or roll his eyes and you couldn’t help that little flutter in your chest, you were actually enjoying his company even if you were mostly separated. This was better than you expected it to be. Long and tiring but better than you had expected.  
“Thanks for helping out,” Jess mentioned, as you tossed the last of the small plastic hors-d'oeuvre plates into the trash bag he was carrying. 
“Oh, this isn’t the first time Chris has dropped the ball and it definitely won’t be the last. Besides, I don’t mind cleaning up.” You replied, honestly. You weren’t sure you wanted to outright admit to him that you were actually enjoying the evening; bickering with each other at home wasn’t always ideal but there was a part of you that enjoyed the relationship you and Jess had.  
“I meant coming along tonight.” Jess answered, “I hate these things...made it a little more bearable.” 
“Are you saying you enjoyed my company?” You laughed. 
“From the sounds of it you enjoyed that shitty book I wrote.” He replied. He’d overheard you mention it a few times and talk like someone who truly understood the subject matter.  
“I’ve read it a couple times, I really do enjoy it.” You replied, setting down the cups in your hands, “you should be proud of your work Jess, it’s really incredible.”  
“You too,” He finally said after a long pause, “your talented, your art pieces are really something. Almost makes up for you being a terrible roommate.” 
“Hey! Would a terrible roommate have come here with you?” You asked. This was the most you and Jess had really gotten along with each other since you moved in and you were enjoying the chance to really talk to him. 
“They would have forced me to go in their place,” he replied, obviously insinuating your brother.  
“Oh, I’ve got no control over Chris,” you moved over to the desk that they’d converted into a makeshift bar top, checking for empty bottles of wine. In among them was your favorite red and you realized than that you’d been sipping it all night. Jess had gotten drinks for the both of you when you’d first arrived and you hadn’t even realized that the wine was that until you were standing there holding the bottle. “This is my favorite.” 
“I know,” Jess commented, “I asked Matt to get it for tonight.” 
You couldn’t wrap your mind around his admission, whether because you were slightly tipsy or because the evening wasn’t quite going the way you had expected. “How’d you know?”  
“I remember you bringing it home a couple months ago, you said you couldn’t believe the wine store had it and that it was your favorite.” Jess recalled. You’d been so excited that night you had poured Chris and Jess both glasses and insisted they each had some. 
“Sorry I just...I didn’t even know you were paying attention.” 
“I’m a writer,” Jess shrugged, “I have an eye for detail.”  
You laughed and nodded your head, replacing it on the desktop. You wanted to say more about it, ask him what other details he might have noticed about you, maybe even mention a few that you had noticed about him, but this didn’t quite feel like the time yet. Maybe soon, hopefully soon, but just not yet. For now, cleaning up Truncheon after a party and talking about stuffy rich people who thought they were cultured because they liked indie books was good enough.  
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total-lunareclipse4 · 2 years
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🌜A permanent choice🌛
pairing: eddie munson x reader
summary: based on this request ->  Hi! can i request a GN! reader x eddie where the reader is eddie’s tattoo artist? i haven’t been able to stop thinking about this concept 😍 thank youuu
warnings: none? mentions of needles maybe?
word count: 1k ish
You were sitting at the counter, going over some finances. You shifted on the uncomfortable stool, the fake leather sticking to the skin under your thighs. You had a couple fans placed all over the store, but it was doing little to battle the hot temperatures.
Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you put the book you were staring at aside, in need for a break. It had been a slow day, two consultations in the morning but no real action yet. The coworker that was supposed to come in had called in sick, leaving you all alone to bore to death.
You were about to go get a drink when you heard the bell atop the front door ring, announcing the arrival of a new client.
Turning around, you saw the familiar face of Eddie Munson. The regular you loved tattooing the most. There were five tattoos on his body, collaborations between you two. What was most special about him and his concepts is that he always included you in them. He’d arrive at your shop, a few ideas in mind, and draw them out for you, accepting your suggestions and asking for your opinions. In the end, they would always end up being something you were both proud of.
“Hey, hotstuff, what can I do for you today?” You greeted him.
“Oh, just, the usual. Stab me with a needle over and over for a couple hours,” he winked.
“You’re lucky I’m free today. Next time make an appointment, we’ve been over this.”
“Yes, colonel, I’m sorry, colonel,” he said as he did a military salute for you.
You walked over to the back of the studio, knowing he would follow after you. Taking out a few pencils and your notebook, you sat down and turned towards him.
“So, what are we doing today? Demons? Wizards? Vampires perhaps?” you already had a few ideas in mind for certain designs.
He pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket, a three eyed troll with an open mouth had been drawn in the middle of it. Eddie laid the drawing on the table in front of you, letting you inspect it for a few seconds.
“So, what do you think?”
“I like it, but I think it’d look even better if we made him drool,” you replied, using a pencil to sketch some saliva dripping down the creature’s chin.
“Yeah? While you’re at it, how do you feel about adding some hair coming out of his ears?” He said as he pulled out another stool and sat beside you.
You brainstormed for a few more minutes before being content with the final result and deciding on a placement. Afterwards, you started with the preparations for the actual tattoo. After being done with the stencil, you sanitized everything and got your machine started.
“Alright, pull down your pants, Munson, and lay on the bed.”
“Damn, take me to dinner first.”
“Since when did you become so high maintenance?” You inquired with a quirk of your eyebrow.
Doing as requested, he laid down and you got to work.
The rest of the session went on as usual. Jokes, flirtatious comments, snarky remarks. At some point you began getting too distracted and decided to turn on the radio instead, needing the “silence” to work properly. Time flew by and before you knew it, your masterpiece was done.
“All done, check it out,” you said, giving his leg one last cleanup.
He sat up, bending over slightly to inspect your work.
“Hm, I think it’s missing something,” Eddie put his fist under his chin, feigning being in deep thought about something.
You stared at him confused, not understanding why he hadn’t brought this up in the earliest stages of the process.
“I think it would look great with your number under it,” he said, snapping his fingers.
You laughed at him, taking off your rubber gloves.
“You’re asking for my number?”
“No, I’m asking you to tattoo your number on me, so don’t take off your gloves, we’re not done.”
You took a moment to contemplate him, confused as to whether he was joking or being serious. It wasn’t necessarily mad coming from him, he’d told you about other things he’d done that had surprised you more than this. But it surely was stupid, something he’d regret the moment after getting it done.
“Eddie, I’m not gonna do that for you.”
“Why not?” He asked with genuine curiosity.
“Because, I can give you my number on a piece of paper if you really want it, you don’t need to carry it with you permanently, dingus.”
“Nope, I know myself, I’m constantly losing shit. This way I can guarantee I’ll have it with me always.”
“Then I’ll write it on your arm, I know you don’t shower anyway, so,” you offered.
He laughed, admitting defeat.
“Fine, but you’re lucky I’m disgusting or I’d fight you harder on this one.” He pulled up his pants, only to offer you his arm which you gladly took and and started to scribble your number down with a nearby pen you grabbed.
Satisfied, he stood up and followed you front.
After ringing him up, you repeated the aftercare instructions you gave him everytime and that you knew for a fact he never followed.
He thanked you and got ready to leave when you stopped him.
“I’m free on Saturday, just so you know.” You figured that if he had taken the first step, it was only fair to show initiative.
“Tell me again when I call you tonight, and I promise next time we see each other I’ll shower just for you.” He smirked.
“I’ll be holding you to that promise, Munson.”
“Please do, you’re a great incentive to improve my hygiene.”
And with that he left the shop, leaving you eager to get home and receive the call he’d promised to give you.
---
A/N: Hope I did your idea justice! If you want to send a request, you can do so here. 
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Interior Design | Yellowjackets
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In which loving girlfriends Jackie and Shauna go shopping at IKEA.
Domestic fluff, AU where the plane crash never happened.
Read on ao3!
This should have felt like a more magical moment than it did.
Granted, it still was magic. Shauna had officially been Jackie’s girlfriend for two years now, and it had been an entire week since the two college students got the news that they’d been approved for an apartment. And yet every little step Shauna took towards her life with Jackie still managed to make her feel as giddy as the first time they’d kissed, all the way back when the WHS Yellowjackets won the nationals.
Now, after extensive planning and deliberation, they found themselves wandering the hallowed halls that all couples had to venture through sooner or later. No more flitting between each other’s houses. No more stuffy dorm rooms where they could barely put a poster up. Actually getting the apartment was one thing, but walking through IKEA together? That was what made it real.
And god, Jackie looked so amazing doing it. There were things you just never knew your girlfriend could look good doing until you saw it, and today, she could add “flicking through ten catalogs and a full notebook while walking so far Shauna could hardly keep up” to the list. There was something undeniably exhilarating about being led around by her, those doll-like eyes flicking around and spotting every piece of furniture, decoration and cookware long before Shauna found it. They were still broke college students, and so a lot of the stuff Jackie checked out was merely to gawk at as part of the rich domestic fantasy life she had planned out in her head. Still, the stuff they were actually planning to get was found and snapped up with a speed only the most dedicated of shoppers could achieve. Jackie, as her wardrobe could attest, was one of those people.
But there was something off about it all. Something Shauna wasn’t happy about. Something that was missing. It didn’t dawn on her until now, as Jackie was very carefully comparing two sets of blue fitted sheets, what was wrong. 
She hadn’t said anything in the past ten minutes.
She wasn’t doing anything!
Sure, Shauna had been there when Jackie mapped out their apartment down to the smallest detail. And she was here now as Jackie picked everything out. But it was suddenly occurring to her that not a single thing circled in those beefy IKEA catalogs was done by her. This had been one hundred percent a Jackie Taylor production, and Shauna hadn’t even noticed it happening! Not that she blamed her girlfriend. She was always doing this, just going with the flow and never speaking up, especially when Jackie was invo-
“Hellooooo? Shauna? Earth to Shauna.”
It wasn’t until Jackie’s fingers were snapping right in front of her face that Shauna finally snapped out of her head, blinking and meeting her girlfriend’s eye. She was sitting on the display bed, looking up at Shauna with an amused look.
“Huh? What?” Shauna mumbled.
“You’re off with the fairies again. I asked you a question.”
Shauna was a little startled. Sometimes it felt like Jackie could read her mind, but this was uncanny. She was just thinking about how she never gave her opinion, and now, Jackie wanted her opinion on something! It wasn’t much, but maybe she was going to get to choose between those sheets. Did she like the blue one, or the… Blue one? She’d figure it out. “No, sorry. What was it?”
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Well, I don’t think the wall units are going to fit with our bedroom decor anymore, so we need to circle back and look there again. You don’t mind being here another, like, I don’t know, hour, right?”
Shauna’s heart sank. So much for that. It didn’t make much of a difference to her; at most, her legs were going to be a bit more sore by the end of the day. Just another hour of nodding and agreeing with Jackie. Better start getting used to it now.
“Sure.” Shauna nodded, agreeing with Jackie. 
Unfortunately for her, Jackie Taylor wasn’t a girl to let something go over her head. She tilted her head to the side, fixing her girlfriend with a look that was a mix of suspicion and concern. Leaving her notebook and menagerie of catalogs on the bed, she stood up and folded her arms over her chest. Jackie was only a couple of inches taller than her girlfriend, but it felt more like a foot to Shauna whenever she did that.
“Alright, come on. Something’s up. What’s going on up there?” Jackie asked, playfully tapping Shauna’s forehead with her perfectly manicured finger. A tiny move for her that sent shockwaves through her girlfriend’s body. 
“It’s… It’s nothing.” Shauna lied instinctively. Her mind was telling her to just say something, but then again, if it were that easy she wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. 
“That didn’t work back in high school when you were moody at practice, and it’s not going to work here either.” Jackie teased. She reached down, taking each of Shauna’s hands in her own and pulling her close. “Don’t make me break out the team captain voice again, Shipman…”
Jackie had no need to, because Shauna was completely melting right now. Her cheeks were flushed bright red at the public display of affection, her eyes desperate to glance away and yet powerless to break from Jackie’s.
“I just…” Shauna sighed, stopping to take a breath, and let it out in a sigh. Just say it, she told herself. Every dumb advice column she saw in magazines said that communication was the key to any relationship, and even if it was probably meant for women who never asked their husbands to do the dishes, it probably applied to quiet lesbians and their beautiful, gorgeous girlfriends too. “I was just thinking that… I haven’t really gotten to pick out anything I like.” She admitted. “I like everything you picked out, don’t get me wrong! You have such a good eye! But this is our apartment, so I should have some things I want too.”
Jackie looked a little surprised, that sly, teasing look on her face melting away to something momentarily concerned. She glanced away, thinking for a moment, like she was remembering something. 
“Yeah, I did kinda go a little overboard when we were picking everything out, didn’t I?” She admitted, accurately describing the two hours they had spent at Shauna’s kitchen table looking through all the home decor guides she had accumulated. But she didn’t dwell on or fuss over it like Shauna surely would. Instead, she just shrugged and smiled. “Pick stuff out, then! I trust you to have some taste. I raised you too well.”
Shauna was shocked. Just like that, everything was fixed. The thing she’d been feeling shitty about all day, tossed away by just a few words. That was her Jackie in action.
“Really?”
Jackie was looking at Shauna like she was saying the most obvious thing in the world. “Yes, really!” Jackie had complete trust in her girlfriend to choose something that wasn’t going to make her throw up. Thank god she’d never ended up staying with Jeff. Nice guy and all, but she’d never be able to handle the neon football club signs and band posters that would have ended up in their humble abode.
Mind suddenly racing, Shauna looked around the display room. Anguishing as it may have been, having no say in the matter had been damn easy. Having to actually think of something she wanted, now that was hard.
“Um…” She stalled, trying to find something that caught her eye. After a moment they rested on a cool lamp on a bedside table, a glass cylinder with a big, old-fashioned light bulb in it, the base made to look like the whole thing was a vintage outdoorsy lamp. That was cool, right? Jackie would like that. Right?
“How about this? The… ‘Tarnaby’. It looks pretty cool.” Shauna studied it for a moment, noting that it wasn’t out of their price range. When she looked back at Jackie, her heart sank again. She had been hoping to see her brimming with glee, amazed that she had picked out something so tasteful and cool before Jackie had even considered it, but all she got from her girlfriend was a raised eyebrow and a look of disbelief. “Oh, uh… Don’t you like it?”
“Oh my god.” Jackie scoffed, turning around and picking up one of the catalogs off the bed. She flicked through just a few pages before stopping at one, folding the back page over and handing it over to Shauna.
There was the lamp. In the catalog, as you’d expect it to be. What Shauna didn’t expect was the circle drawn around it in long dry marker ink. 
“...Oh.” Shauna felt her cheeks burn again, this time with embarrassment. Her head whipped about, searching for something else that would actually impress Jackie. “Okay, okay, how about this?” She asked again, pointing out a cool hanging basket.
The look Jackie gave her told her everything she needed to know.
Desperately, she opened the catalog and started to flick through it. She tried to look as objectively as possible, considering every facet of every item her eyes scanned over. And yet, without fail, everything she wanted was what Jackie already wanted. And not even because of that! Genuinely, in her heart of hearts, every item Jackie had circled in the catalog was the most perfect fit for their dream home she could have possibly imagined.
Staring so intensely at the pages was Shauna that she didn’t even notice Jackie slide beside her until a toned arm was wrapping around the back of her neck and pulling her in. “Oh, Shipman. You really are my little clone, aren’t you?” She laughed, burying her face in the side of her head and kissing her. Shauna hadn’t blushed this hard… Possibly ever. But by god did she love it.
“Yeah…” Shauna sighed, closing the catalog and throwing it down on the bed as Jackie nuzzled her. “I’ll just let you do your thing.”
“No, no, we’ll do this together.” Jackie assured her, sliding her hand into Shauna’s and gripping it tight. Even then their arms stayed pressed together. The two always had a curious habit of having their bodies touch as much as they could, all day of every day, like they were desperate for each other’s warmth. “We’ll talk it out this time. Our place is going to look even more amazing because of it.” She smiled down at her, until suddenly it pulled into a smirk. “I should really stop calling you Shipman. It’s going to get weird when we’re married.”
“Jackie, we’re literally only just moving in together…” Shauna pointed out. Not that she didn’t want that; by god, did she want that so bad. She just didn’t think she could handle the flip-flops her stomach was doing just from hearing those words come from Jackie’s mouth. “Besides, so sure I’ll take your name?”
Jackie looked off for a moment. “Shauna Taylor. Shauna, Taylor. Jackie Ship… Yeah, no, sorry babe. It’s mine.” She teased, poking her tongue out at her girlfriend. As Jackie glanced out around the store again, Shauna didn’t have the heart to argue with her. Besides, she was pretty alright with that.
“Now,” Jackie started, looking back at her girlfriend, “how about we restart? Go back to the entrance and do everything again? And this time, I wanna hear what you think. Even if it’s the same thing I think. Which it will, we both have the best taste, but still. It’ll be fun.”
Shauna nodded. Questions of why exactly her taste was the exact same as Jackie’s down to the item could wait. For now, she just loved doing anything with her. Especially something that helped her picture the life they were about to have together. “Sure, I’d like that. All the kitchen stuff was at the entry, right? I remember some glasses I kind of liked the look of.” 
“That’s the spirit.” Jackie winked, before looking around the section they were in and frowning. “Got to figure out where the freaking entrance is first, though. Seriously, I don’t know where this place ends or begins…”
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Finally finished my finals so I'm doing some celebratory writing weeee
Ft. That Rodion AU I brought up earlier yestarday, my only context as to what my brain's about to vomit is to go read The Poison Of Affection
Her personal opinion? It was perfect; bold, red, and exactly the right size for her little origami project. The golden embroidery printed on it was a nice little bonus as well...
Rodion was curled up on the Mephistopheles' deck, her back against the railing as she busied her hands with a piece of paper, letting the sound of the waves lapping against the Busboat's hull wash over her. Its quality wasn't the best... for City standards, at least; for the hell pit she now called home, it was a shoddy, low-grade quality that could easily tear at the slightest pressure.
Besides, she sorely doubted that the company would care if she bought a couple of stacks; this was the dirt cheap stuff, absolutely nothing compared to some of the celebratory meals they've had.
(Yes, she had been keeping track of the expenses. More out of habit than anything, really.)
"Geez, how long have you been sitting out here? Ain't it time to go to bed, Blizzard?"
She looked up, staring back at a squatting girl's unnaturally bright golden eyes, ones o bright, they were basically headlights... well, they were headlights, so that analogy might be moot.
While interally, she mused the logistics of that particular analogy, externally, her eyebrow twitched.
"I have a name, y'know? Don't think it's that hard to say Rodya."
"The only name that matters here is Frau Faust's!" The newcomer huffed, haughtily sticking her nose in the air, "and none of you deserve that respect anyway, especially with how Showers and The Hag manhandled me."
"What about Charon? Don't care about her enough to remember her name?"
"Y-you know what I mean!"
Rodion snickered, watching Mephistopheles flail around indignantly.
She was... different, to say the least; she was a haughty, prideful little brat, especially for someone who hasn't even been awake until 8 days ago (granted, knowing Faust, she was probably alive before she got her ship modifications)
Rodion was still considering who to bet on if she was left alone with the Iron Blood. Would they eat her alive, or would she'd eat them instead? Perhaps a bit of both? Assuming the metal maw on her stomach could chew off heavy armor in the first place, that is.
"—And this isn't about me, anyway!" Mephi spluttered out, her hand passing through Rodion in (another) failed attempt to swat her, "you've been folding those plane... flower... things since Clockhead ended the day. What're you trying to achieve here??"
"These 'things' are called Shikigami." She answered, momentarily entering the cabins to put the box of unused paper on her seat, the little paper planes she made stashed safely under her coat. "Yeah, stuff's more restrictive, but..."
She sighed, leaning against the railing and breathing in the salty air that both felt right and very, very wrong.
"Haah... too much of a pain to deal with the others about this now~"
She flicked her wrist, sending a Shikigami overboard, watching as, instead of fluttering down to the sea, it began to take flight.
"Hey, Mephi. How long do we have in this zone?"
"...Half an hour, why?"
She hummed, not a lot of time, but it'll do.
"Sweet. Do me a favor and holler when someone leaves the backdoor, m'kay?"
She ignored Mephistopheles' shouts as she followed her papercraft's footsteps, swinging herself overboard and into the waters of the Lake.
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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 10 months
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It’s been a very busy couple of days but I finally have time to sit down and write about this. Went to Montreal a couple of nights ago for the Just For Laughs Festival. Absolutely amazing night, from start to finish. Well, maybe not from the very start. I really like the Old Montreal neighbourhood so I went there beforehand, and found that I like it a lot less when it’s full of JFL-related crowds.
So I gave up on that, went to the festival. Walked around the festival itself for a bit. The outdoor festival area is full of big screens and big crowds and loud music and had several outdoor stages where I heard bits and pieces of various people making various bad jokes. Maybe a little big cool, I guess, in a very small dose, if you like that sort of thing.
Luckily, the venue where I was seeing comedy was inside, and much smaller. Well, it was a very large arts complex with a lot going on it, multiple theatre rooms as well as a bunch of other stuff, but the room where I was was the smallest one. Capacity 128, but for both shows, all the seats in a whole third of the room didn’t get used. I’d estimate there were about 60 people in each show, maybe a few more in the first one than in the second one. I saw Nish Kumar last year in that same room, small room but I’m pretty sure it sold out (I didn’t notice any empty seats, anyway, there could have been one or two), and the felt like a very small and intimate performance. So this was even more so, same room but a crowd about two thirds of the size.
When I first walked in and saw the crowd size, half of me was thinking, “What the hell? Tom Ballard is a very successful Australian comedian, he has two officially released stand-up specials and a book and he hosted a topical comedy TV show for a couple of years. He’s an internationally touring comedian. How the hell has he traveled all this way to be here, and only about 60 people (plus whoever came to his show the previous night, he did two in total) have turned up to see him? What is everyone doing, missing out on this?” The other half of me was thinking, “He’s well known in Australia. He hosted a TV show in Australia. Who are all these people who live near Montreal yet know enough about Tom Ballard to have paid a bunch of money and come out to see him? Why are there so many of them?”
Then Tom Ballard came out, and… well, they don’t call him the white gay Australian Nish Kumar for nothing. I mean, they don’t call him that, I do, but I don’t do it for nothing. The two times I’ve seen Nish Kumar live, he started shouting at the audience from the moment he came out and did not calm down until it was over (oh yeah, Nish Kumar’s special gets released tomorrow, it’s his 2022 show, the one I saw twice last year, it’s fucking incredible, I’m going to make everyone watch it). Tom Ballard did something similar. Maybe there was slightly more variation in the intensity levels. At one point he took a bit of a break from shouting about the world ending to talk about his sex life, and I’ve never seen Nish Kumar do that, not even in his early stuff from before he went so political.
It was pretty much what I expected, based on the reviews and on who Tom Ballard is, but what I expected it to be based on that was very good. Got the personal stuff out of the way early – he gained weight during lockdown, he’s got a boyfriend now, he used to hook up with weird people. Then got back to what we came for, which was shouting about the end of the world and talking shit about the monarchy. I realize neither of those things are new in comedy, and he realizes it too, at one point comments that he knows it isn’t particularly edgy to say “Fuck the queen” in a world where all reasonable people think the royal family can go fuck themselves, but on the other hand, if this opinion is so commonplace and repetitive, why are they still there? And he’s got a point. It’s hard to call anti-monarchy material tired and overdone when you look at scale of the pro-royalist queen death coverage and the coronation coverage that have happened in the last year.
And it’s not even that overdone among comedians. Every once in a while during the Tom Ballard show, I was struck by how much his voice sometimes sounds like Adam Hills’, because they both have the Australian accent, but they also both do the Australian vocal fry thing where the pitch goes up at the end of sentences. So it felt a little bit like being shouted at by Adam Hills, except that you won’t hear “fuck the dead queen” from Adam Hills.
This show does make me want to formally apologize to Tom Ballard for that post I wrote before I listened to the post-coronation Bugle episode, when Tom Ballard and Mark Steel were the guests, and I said Mark Steel is going to be the star of this show, he’s been waiting his whole career for this much royalist bullshit to get righteously furious about. Listening to the actual episode reminded me that Tom Ballard should never be counted out in a competition of “Who can talk the most shit about the British monarchy”, and this stand-up show makes me realize I definitely should have known that all along.
This show did do the sort of thing that I thought made Nish Kumar’s 2022 show (Your Power Your Control, released on August 1, 2023, everyone in the world needs to watch it) work so well, which is to tie his larger political points around something personal. In this case, Tom Ballard got the main political themes around the story of his grandmother who lived in a care home. I had just visited my grandparents’ in their care home the other day, and might have laughed too hard at some of his impressions of what it’s like in those places.
I really, really enjoyed it. I don’t know if it’s for everyone – I mean, obviously it’s not for royalists or climate deniers or those who hate the elderly, I guess – but it may even be not for people who agree with him but just aren’t into shouty comedy. If you like that sort of thing, though, this is a very, very good example of it. And I really like this sort of thing. I’ve seen his two previous specials, and I enjoyed them, but this is by far the best Tom Ballard stand-up show I’ve seen.
Actually, that came up during the show. At one point he mentioned that he’d released a stand-up special on Paramount Plus in 2022 (it’s called Enough, it’s not as good as this one but it’s still really enjoyable and I recommend it), but no one watched it because no one in the world subscribes to Paramount Plus. To prove this, he asked the audience who in there has seen that special. I said that I did, assuming my voice would be drowned out among the other people speaking up. But it turned out my voice carried through the room, because I was the only person who answered. He made some jokes about how it’s proof that Paramount Plus is obscure because of a whole crowd of people who’ve paid to see him, only one person has seen the special (to be honest, I don't have Paramount Plus either, there are ways to find comedy specials that don't involve subscribing to steaming platforms, that's a good thing for everyone who doesn't have Sky TV to remember when Nish Kumar's special is released on there tomorrow). The he looked at me, said thank you for watching it, and asked me what I’d thought of it. I said I thought it was very good, and he said that’s the kind of crowd interaction he wants, and then the whole room applauded.
Oh yeah, it’s relevant to know that right before that, a guy had been heckling annoyingly. Tom Ballard had humoured him at first but was becoming less forgiving of him by this point, the audience was getting really annoyed with him too. So Tom Ballard’s point was that I’d shown a good example of how an audience member should behave, by giving him a quick two-word answer when I was addressed and then shutting up, in contrast to the guy who kept talking for too long. And then the whole audience applauded me for not being an obnoxious heckler (later in the show, the guy who’d been heckling got kicked out of the room). So that was fun. This is the same room where Nish Kumar briefly addressed me at this same festival last year, when my reaction to one of his jokes made him laugh (have you ever made Nish Kumar laugh? Nish Kumar? The guy who has that fucking laugh? Like making an angel fly), and he asked me a question about it. So the smallest theatre in Montreal’s Place Des Arts is now where I’ve been personally addressed by both Nish Kumar and by White Gay Australian Nish Kumar.
The show ended, and they cleared the room. Tom Ballard went from 7:30 to about 8:40, so at 8:40 I walked out of the room and straight into the back of the line that had already formed for the next show. When they let us back into the same room, I got almost the same seat (front row, but there are only four rows in total, this is not a large room). Josie Long’s show started at 9 PM.
God, it was good. Really fucking good. I came out of that night thinking both shows were incredible (I definitely made the right choice with where to spend my limited funds on JFL tickets, I can’t imagine there being any shows at the whole festival that I’d have enjoyed more than these two), but Tom Ballard’s might be an acquired taste, and Josie Long’s is just perfect no matter who you are, unless you’re a fucking Tory, I guess. But God, I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying it. I think if you’re a Tory and you see this show, you might just come out a socialist. Just because your options are “turn into a socialist” or “hate this show”, and you can’t hate that show. It’s too perfect.
I’ve heard almost all Josie Long’s old shows in one form or another, multiple versions of a few of them. Starting back at 2006: Kindness and Exuberance, Trying Is Good, All of the Planet’s Wonders, Be Honourable!, The Future Is Another Place, Romance and Adventure, Cara Josephine, Something Better, Tender, Re-Enchantment. The only one I’ve not heard in any form is Something Better. Of the ones before this year, I think my favourite was Cara Josephine, possibly Romance and Adventure. But they were all good. They were different from each other in many ways – from the excitable whimsey of Trying Is Good to the darker stuff in the next few years to the angry political stuff to the optimistic political stuff to the more personal love life and family stuff and back around to the really intense political stuff. All there, in different variations at different times. There’s something to love in all of it.
It felt like all that stuff was packed into Re-Enchantment. The best of everything she can do, all packed into an hour, and all tied to each other, it doesn’t feel like she separated any of it out. The personal and political so deeply intertwined that I can’t tell which bits are meant to be which (well, with some exceptions). And, not to be incredibly cheesy or anything, you can feel how much of this one comes from the heart. Like she was really, really passionate about everything she talked about, like this show didn’t just get written because it was a new year and she needed a new show, like she had all kinds of stuff she couldn’t wait to say to people. Re-Enchantment is my favourite Josie Long show, and there is a lot of competition in that area.
She also did the thing I like in Tom Ballard, talking about larger issues and tying them to something personal. And she did it so well. It helps that the personal things she has to tie it to at the moment are beautiful. Living in Glasgow, which she loves, and raising two small children, which she loves. And finding ways to tie those things to all the political issues that she hates. I think that’s what makes it work so well. That she can hit the worst things in the world, the things that make her (and us) angry and terrified and feel hopeless, but she keeps bringing them back to these things she loves so much, so the show doesn’t feel bleak. It’s dark at times, but she gets on stage, walks through all these dark topics, manages to dig into them and excavate these tiny gleams of light, and then puts her hands out to show us whatever glittering morsels she’s found, and I apologize for drifting into sappy prose but that’s what it feels like to watch a Josie Long show live.
There were no obnoxious hecklers at Josie Long’s show. The crowd was good, and I think knew what they were getting into better than the Tom Ballard crowd had. A couple of times Josie Long translated things for the Canadian audience (year 11/grade ten, explaining who Nicola Sturgeon is), but I’m not sure she needed to, the audience was on board with everything she was doing. At one point she needed to reference a company that does windows, and said she usually used a British company but had been trying to find a company that’s well known in Canada to use instead while over here, but she didn’t know any, and that’s when I realized I don’t think we’ve got any famous window companies. She asked if we knew of any, and the audience seemed like they were genuinely trying to help her out, I think if anyone had thought of one they’d have said so. I guess Canada just isn’t that big on windows.
I’d heard a couple of versions of this show before – she livestreamed a version of it last month from the Glasgow Library, so of course I got in on that. So I did already know it was a good one. But God, it’s different seeing it live. Seeing how good she is at just being on the stage, throwing her voice and her face and her mannerisms and her whole body into everything she’s saying, using all of that to convey everything. Running around the stage at times, engaging with everyone. I can’t imagine anyone’s attention drifting even for a moment.
It’s structured really well, too. Done relatively subtly, I think, some of the callbacks were obvious but some not as much. She put stuff in at the beginning that seemed small and came back, sometimes in little ways and sometimes tied into the whole theme of the show. You get to the end and realize everything was building toward a couple of messages, but it was all so funny along the way that you barely notice while she goes from routine to routine. And by “you” I mean “me”, I guess. That was my experience of the show. It was a very good experience.
The show ended, and I was so full of adrenaline from watching bot of these shows in a row, that I could barely remember to stick to the plan I’d made beforehand, which was to see if I could find Josie Long after the show. I’ve never tried to meet a famous comedian before – or any famous person, for that matter – but I’d decided I wanted to meet Josie Long enough to give it a try. I’d followed some advice and scoped the place out beforehand, to try to work out where the comedians would exit. So after the show, I went outside the building and tried to run around it to see the door where I thought they might be.
While I was looking for that door, I nearly walked into Josie Long on the sidewalk. She was walking with someone and talking to him, and I didn’t want to interrupt her conversation, but also I have one of her old posters on my wall and I’d brought it in a bag with a pen to see if she’d sign it, and I really wanted to meet her. So I hesitantly said “Um… sorry… excuse me?”, and she looked at me, and then said, “You were in my show.” She hadn’t addressed me during her show, the way Nish Kumar and white gay Australian Nish Kumar had. But apparently, she had remembered my face.
I said yes, I was, and sorry to bother her and I won’t take up much time, but I’m a huge fan, and I have something with me, and could she possibly sign it? Then I reached into my bag, and I don’t know what she was expecting me to have in that bag, but from her reaction, as she stood on a sidewalk in Montreal, Canada at 10:20 PM talking to an incoherently excited Canadian she’d never met before, she was not expecting this person to pull out a cardstock printout of a poster for her 2010 and 2011 shows. She definitely sounded surprised to see that.
But she was very, very nice. She signed the poster, asked me my name, wrote a bit on it about how she appreciated me seeing her in Montreal. Honestly, I really was barely coherent. I can hardly remember what I said now. I was stammering as I tried to think of something reasonable to say. I definitely managed to say I love all her old shows but this latest one is one of the best comedy shows I’ve ever seen in my life, which is true. I think I mentioned several times that I love her book. The whole interaction was maybe a minute long. Maybe two minutes? I don’t know, time had stopped.
Then I walked away, and about twenty seconds later, realized I’d forgotten something. So I turned around, saw that she was still there and still talking to that same guy (this was clearly a guy she actually knew, not a random fan who’d accosted her on the street), and when she saw me coming back, she didn’t look surprised. I said “Sorry… I should have asked for this before… could I get a picture…?”
Basically, I was so fucking excited to meet Josie Long that during that first interaction I completely forgot to ask for a picture with her. She looked liked she’d expected me to ask and was surprised when I didn’t, and she was unsurprised when I came back for it. I took out my phone and her friend took it from me, so he could take a picture for us. Josie Long asked me if I minded if she put her arm around me (very cool of her, getting consent before touching a stranger, even a stranger who has made it quite clear she is not averse to contact with Josie Long), and I managed to say “No I don’t mind” rather than “You putting your arm around me would be the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me, actually.”
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I look normal, right? I looked like a normal person who's a normal amount of excited be meeting Josie Long and she should definitely not feel creeped out by the intensity of that? Does it make me look even more normal that you can see a bag in my hand, which I held onto through two comedy shows just in the hopes that I might see Josie Long after the show and get her to sign a poster she made ten years ago?
After that, I stopped at Bounstan Shawarma, a place that was recommended by Nish Kumar, actually. During an episode of The Bugle that he did before he came to Just For Laughs last summer, he plugged his shows there, and then said that while he's there, he'll be eating at Bounstan, which is a great shawarma place in Montreal. My own city (two hours from Montreal, I travelled for this) happens to be known for its shawarmas (we have a large Arab population here, there are a lot of shawarma places), I have a few favourites and think of myself as knowing the local shawarma places fairly well. But there's a Bounstan in my city too, and I'd never been there before Nish recommended it. On his recommendation, I ordered some from my local one, while thinking I bet this won't be as good as he says, they probably just don't have as much shawarma in England as we do in my city (honestly, I have a several friends who grew up in Lebanon, where that dish is actually from, who've told me that shawarma from my city is the best in the world, including in the Middle East), so he's not going to be familiar enough with it to know what's good or bad. God, was I ever wrong. He was right, Bounstan is some of the best shawarma I've ever had. Doesn't quite beat my favourite place, but it's become something I order somewhat regularly. After the shows the other night, still buzzing from the excitement of both shows and meeting Josie Long, I stopped at Bounstan (which is right next to the festival, that would be how Nish Kumar knows about it) and got a shawarma. Then I ate it in my parents' car before driving that car two hours home, because I honestly needed to calm down a bit before I could drive. I'm pleased to say I made it home safetly, returned the car I'd borrowed to my parents' place, fell asleep.
The next morning I got up and flew halfway across the country to my grandparents' house, which is why it's taken me two days before I had time to sit down and write this post.
It was one of the best nights of my entire God damn life. Genuinely, if I think about my entire life and what are my favourite days of it, July 29, 2023 is on the list. I don't know exactly where it ranks on the list. Somewhere below the day I won the regional championships in the sport that I'd then been competing in for four years. Below the first time I coached an athlete to a national medal in that same sport. But above quite a few of my favourite live music memories. Above the day I climbed Signal Hill in Newfoundland and spent three hours at the top of it staring at the ocean and then went down the hill and took a road trip through the outport villages and had cod that had been caught two hours before for dinner. It's definitely on the list.
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ciaossu-imagines · 3 months
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Can you do day 20 prompt 1?
Of course I can! Thank you so much for showing interest in me and my opinions, my lovely anon! You’re very sweet!!
1.    What was your first anime (that you knew was anime)?
Oh my god, honestly…I don’t actually remember. I remember growing up on Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Ronin Warriors and other things they’d show on Toonami, but I don’t think I actually knew they were anime then. It probably would have been either Bleach, Naruto, or Yu Yu Hakusho but there were some smaller little animes I watched around that time as well that I really grasped were anime because I had met friends and such who knew the terms, knew the culture, and was introducing me to it.
2.    Favourite pre-2000’s anime?
Okay, right out the gate, reminding everyone – I can never pick favourites. I struggle with that so much because there are just so many fantastic shows and movies out there, so many solid choices, and I can’t say ‘this one is the best’ because there’s no universal best. Each one does something better than the others, all across the board. Of course, those familiar with my fandom list will see Yu Yu Hakusho and Ronin Warriors (and at times, Hunter x Hunter) on there. Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, Trigun, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Cowboy Bebop, Akira, Lupin III, Ghost in the Shell, Astroboy…they’re all old anime that really do stand the test of time and are all worth checking out.
3.    Favourite post-2000’s anime?
Fuck, I could make whole lists. Of course, I highly recommend all the ones on my fandom list, but I also will mention really loving Death Parade, Psycho-Pass, Shadows House, and a bunch of others!
4.    Favourite director?
Umm…going to show my ignorance here and admit that I know absolutely no directors for anime. I know a couple of studios to the point where I can pretty much guess if a particular anime comes from them (Studio Madhouse and Studio Bones have some pretty recognizable traits among their varying anime) but that’s about it.
5.    Favourite Ghibli movie?
Again, it’s really damn hard to say favourite. I will say I am firmly of the opinion that you can sit down with almost ANY Ghibli movie, and you will be in for a visual treat, interesting characters, and a good movie. I watch Totoro and Spirited Away the most though, but that’s only because they’re the two I actually own. I think the only one I haven’t watched more than once is Howl’s Moving Castle. It was a good movie stylistically, don’t get me wrong, was really cute but I’m a huge fan of the novel for that and the two are so vastly different that I couldn’t love it as much as a lot of Ghibli fans.
6.    Favourite piece of merch (that you own or want to own)?
Okay, so I own a Yamamoto and a Yamazaki mini figure and both are extremely precious to me. Not only are they characters I love, but they were gifted to me by a friend I roleplayed with on ProBoards for years with and actually flew out to Toronto to meet. So they’ve got some sentimental value to them. As mentioned in another ask, I do diamond painting and there’s some really cool anime themed diamond painting pictures I’ve bought, since they’re not normally too expensive that decorate my walls, like one of Deku from BNHA, a Demon Slayer one, and I recently found a site that lets you make pictures into customized diamond painting pictures, so hopefully I’ll have some more from my other fandoms on their way!
7.    First convention & 8. Convention you’ve attended the most?
I keep saying I’m going to go to conventions and plan (even bought tickets for one), but always chicken out, actually. I have a really hard time with large crowds of people, they make me really anxious and while it’s my dream to attend a convention and have all the fun that comes with it, I haven’t actually taken that final step. I’ll just keep repeating the small steps until I get there 😊
9. Favourite animation style?
As with everything, I have a really hard time saying favourite. I fully admit to being swayed by pretty, smooth animation but the animation styles I find pretty vary really widely. As everyone can see from the fandoms I write about on here, I watch a pretty wide variety of anime, from 90’s up to current animation, and I think that has something to do with it. I am more drawn towards things with more colour to them, things bright and eye-catching, but there’s also something beautiful about the soft, almost shojo-esque and pastel aesthetics of some anime. Really, I can deal with most animation styles, and it takes a lot for me to nope out of something because of the animation style…the only examples I can think of were RWBY, Kill La Kill (also the fanservice in that is gross), and Violence Voyager (and there were a lot more reasons I couldn’t finish that film and even the thought of it still leaves me feeling really damn unsettled).
10. Last anime you finished and your thoughts on it?
I finished up the second season of The Vampire Dies in No Time recently and honestly, the amount of love I have for that show is just insane. I will probably rewatch it at least a million more times. It’s such an easy watch, it makes me laugh a lot of the times, I love the animation style and the range of quirky characters. I definitely would recommend it to others if they enjoy comedy animation!
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Just saw your post from earlier and I’m just really curious what’s your opinion on Rais x Crane (as a “funny ship goes brrr” or fr whichever you prefer), have a nice day!
i do actually like it and it's probably my biggest "ship" but i cant really explain to you why. they have a very complicated thing going on between them and i find it entertaining/interesting. in my au theres actually some Things that happen on cranes end that leaves him fucked up after rais dies - mainly their final fight goes differently, rais isn't pushed off of the tower but instead is left there to bleed out by crane, and after crane has told the gre operatives to go eat nails he ends up sitting down next to rais, the most exhausted and mentally drained hes ever been in his life. then rais puts on a bit of a kicked puppy act because he actually feels afraid (since hes dying and his rabies induced adrenaline is wearing off) and he asks crane if he can hold his hand. crane, stupid idiot sympathetic sentimental crane, obliges. then, because he does that he has to actually feel his last breath. which fucks crane up. because he just very personally murdered someone. a person he very much hated, yes, but he got so used to having someone to hate that now there's this odd void. several days later as hes coming out of his dissociative stupor he's back at the garrison to scavenge for whats left of their supplies, he ends up in rais's personal room. which, since it was locked well, was a jackpot in terms of medical supplies. but crane spent a little too long in there and ended up sifting through boxes of old documents and he finds out that rais had a son, evidenced by several drawings and other papers, and crane pieces together that rais's brother isn't the only person to be killed in the outbreak. this makes crane spiral again into thoughts about how rais really was just another person broken by the circumstances and his sentimental ass just feels so bad LOL
but anyway after theyve both died and are in the afterlife (they dont really have an appealing afterlife in this world youre just a ghost wandering around a world you cant interact with forever) crane is reunited with all his friends! and he spends a long time with them and all is good, but out of curiosity he ends up tracking down rais's supposed son. since at this point rais has had a couple or a dozen (idk the timeline yet im horrid with timelines) years to just sit there and think, he's chilled out and isn't really mad at anyone anymore. so he has no problem letting crane meet his son. but crane finds iut that since he died in a traumatic manner, (shot in the head to keep him from turning) he's in... a bad state. this makes crane frequently return to check on him which means he and rais have a lot of time to interact. originally crane isnt a fan of having to see rais in the first place but he very very slowly begins to tolerate him and eventually (by "eventually" i mean over the span of several decades or something like that) befriend him
but also i do find it hilarious as a concept
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lindsaywesker · 2 years
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Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Happy Hump Day!
As The Trouble and I have both been teachers at some stage in our lives, on our way home from dinner, we got into quite a heavy conversation about plagiarism. Obviously, copying somebody else’s work is forbidden and marked an immediate fail, but what kind of person does that? What kind of person signs on to a course, doesn’t listen, doesn’t absorb the information, doesn’t read the written material and then delivers a piece of work ‘borrowed’ from someone else?
It led me to think about pretenders, con artists and shapers. People who live a lie. People that aren’t what they say they are. People with fictional families, fictional lives, fictional opinions. Both C and I have been the victim of such people. Maybe con artists view nice people as ‘a soft touch’?
One of the amazing things about con artists is listening to them lie. It really is an art form. They skirt around issues and never really give you an answer. They don’t give you an answer because they can’t give you an answer. Ever met someone like that?
I think I feel particularly sorry for women that suddenly discover their husband/boyfriend/partner has another family and another life. That is some next level cruelty.
The previous American president, whose name I can’t even say, introduced us to the concept of ‘fake news’, which was ironic because his relationship with the truth has always been very tenuous. Anything he disagreed with or anything that jeopardised his position was dismissed as ‘fake news’.
If you want fake news, look no further than The Daily Fail. One of their journalists reported that William and Kate enjoyed a meet and greet with the good folk of Windsor, while Harry and Meghan stayed at home, and yet we’ve all now seen video footage of both couples talking to the crowds, and all four getting into the same car together. The unrelenting hatred towards Meghan is really some premier league racism. Her skin is light brown. Does that make her inferior? Does that make her a threat to the sunny uplands of pure, white Caucasianness? Get a grip!
The Trouble has given me strict instructions NOT to organise too many dinners. She is busy and tired and does not need additions to her diary, particularly on a school night. So, I have been very disciplined and strategic, and I spread the dinners very evenly. Last night, we finally got together with some of our favourite people, who we haven’t seen in ages and who we really like! Takes a bit of planning and organisation, but it’s well worth it. It was only three hours but three hours of smiling and laughing and knowing looks and reminiscing. Quality time. We have another dinner with some beautiful people next week.
Today, The Trouble and I are working from home. We are both busy, so there will be no time for foolishness. Deadlines are deadlines. Without deadlines, we procrastinate. I will ensure she is fed and watered, and try not to get in her way. I will have my essay-marking hat on. Concentrate, focus and keep the feedback positive.
Going to see Lady Wesker this weekend. I already have my instructions: “I have the fizz and chocolate, so do not buy this weekend.” As if I’m going to arrive empty-handed! As if! I will buy both fizz and chocolate because we like to replace what we consume.
Thanks for reading all the way to the bottom of my status. Many people don’t like reading. It’s too much hard work. So, I thank you for giving me five minutes of your day.
Have a wonderful and well-endowed Wednesday. I love you all. Yes, a crazy, bald man loves and cares about you.
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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years
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You Did This To Us - Bakugou Katsuki
Bakugou x f!reader
Warnings: ANGST, cursing, gore, implied sexual activity, infidelity, alcohol abuse, marijuana use, I’m just here to rip y’all hearts out, MDNI
Summary: It was a horrible battle against raging villains and he watched you, his loving wife of 6 years, get pierced right in front of him. It was traumatizing. Your days in the hospital sent him into depression, causing him to make the worst decisions of his life. Decisions he’s regretted the second he’s made them and decisions he’ll forever regret because of what it cost him.
BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST
He warned you not to come. No that’s not the right word. He begged you to sit your ass down at home where you would be safe. But of course, you were never that kind of hero. You could never sit on the sidelines and watch others fight a battle you knew you could at least try to help in. So with a heavy heart, he reluctantly allowed you to come. His first regret.
Because as the battle died down and victory was in sight, his world was thrown into chaos once more. The villains were down. The wind was settling. The dust was clearing. Katsuki could see you struggling to stand due to exhaustion but saw your smile nonetheless. He gave a breath of relief as he still saw you and jogged over to you. As he did, you noticed him coming your way and your smile only grew. Until it suddenly dropped, along with his own. Out of nowhere, a sharp, metal staff flew threw the air and pierced you right in the stomach. The sight was nauseating as Katsuki covered his mouth, truly shocked. He watched you in horror as you trembled before falling to the ground.
Katsuki looked behind him to find the attacker and saw some stupid, weak ass, good for nothing villain use the last of his power just to cause you harm. Then the world began to shake. No, that wasn’t it. Katsuki was violently trembling as he looked towards the bastard on the ground. Despite him being knocked out cold, that didn’t stop Dynamight from rushing over to him, grabbing him by the neck and blasting him. No one was around. No one would see. His job was safe. He could do this and have no repercussions whatsoever, so why not?
After the petty villain’s death, Katsuk used every ounce of strength in him to run to your body that had blood trickling down the side of your lips. “Y/N!”
You turned your head the best you could to find your husband sobbing his eyes out as he picked you up into his lap. He cradled your head and gently tapped your face, trying to keep you conscious. “Hey! Hey, you’re gonna be okay, alright?! You’re gonna be okay baby I promise.”
“Suki..I’m tired.” You whispered out in a weak voice. Hearing your words stabbed him through the chest.
“I-..I know baby. I know you’re tired. But- but you can’t go to sleep okay? Don’t go to sleep. You have to stay awake- stay alive! Okay?” He pleaded with you. He called out for a medic once he saw the flashing red and blue lights near the scene and held onto your body. He looked to you and saw your eyes becoming null and dense before firing back up again. You were falling in and out of consciousness. You were a fighter and you were trying to stay alive. It made him choke out a sad laugh. “You’re gonna make it, Teddy Bear, I swear.”
“….if I don’t make it-“
“You will, you idiot, don’t say shit like that!”
“But if I don’t…just- Ah-….just know I love you, Suki.”
Katsuki kissed your forehead before hugging you close. “I know, Y/N. I love you too. More than anyone, and more than you’ll ever fucking know.”
He noticed a small smile reach your lips before the medics came. Katsuki was quick to stand with you in his arms, careful and aware of the metal still pierced within you. He handed you off to the professionals who handled you with extra care. They brought you into the ambulance with Katsuki trying to follow in before being stopped.
“The fuck-“
“Dynamight, we can’t allow you to go in.” One said.
“And why the fuck not?! That’s my wife in there!” Katsuki shouted as he pointed to you.
“I understand, but her condition is severe. We can’t have anyone taking up space as we take care of her on her way to the hospital.” He explained.
“Taking up space?! Do you even know who you’re-“
“Sir, please. Let me do my job, let me save your wife’s life.” With that, Katsuki finally nodded in silence as he allowed the medic’s words to echo in his head. “Can you meet us at the hospital?”
Once again, a silent nod. With that, the medic was off and back to your seemingly lifeless body. Katsuki watched as he lead the team and perfectly directed them. He was sure that until you got to the hospital, you were in good hands. That was one guy he could surprisingly trust. He didn’t know him very well or at all for that matter, but he has Dynamight’s trust. Now Katsuki just had to head home and clean himself up before finding you again. Screw getting checked up. He knew his body. He knew he was damn well fucking fine.
As Katsuki opened the door to his house in a rush, he was quick to take a shower just to wash off the dirt and blood. He quickly hopped out and changed into some clothes before looking for his car keys. He found them at his nightstand along with the framed pictures of you and him. One on your wedding night and one celebrating your 3rd anniversary as a married couple. As Katsuki quickly looked through he pictures he smiled with a tear falling down his cheek. He looked around the room and took in all the pictures of you both that decorated your walls and tables.
You both were together since junior high. You were together for 10 years and despite being at the young ages of 23 and 22, he still decided to pop the big questions and propose. You said yes. It was one of the happiest days of his life, next to getting you to be his girlfriend, and meeting you in general. Forget the hero work, he’d trade it all if it meant he got to stay with you. You were always involved when it came to his happiest points in life. And now you were fighting for your life at the hospital. So with that, Bakugou wiped his tears and ran to his car, urgently trying to meet you at the building.
As he pulled up and parked, he pushed passed all the paparazzi and fans that surrounded the entrance due to news of you being there. You can assume how bad it got when everyone took notice of another pro-hero, and that pro being Dynamight no less, showing up. Despite all that, Bakugou forced his way in and made it to the front desk, demanding to know where you were. The poor lady at the desk had to deal with this explosive bomb, only to anger him even more by asking for his ID.
“Are you a fucking idiot?! Look at me! I’m Bakugou fucking Katsuki?! The number one pro fucking hero?!” He screamed at the poor girl.
“I’m- I’m sorry sir! It’s just protocol. H/N is a pro-hero, this is just what has to be done.” She shakily let out. Bakugou grunted before slamming his ID and Hero license onto the table. The lady nodded before handing him a piece of paper that had directions to your room.
Bakugou snatched it and gave her a scowl before running to look for you. Finally making it to one of the highest floors and down the longest hallways, he finally reached your door with 2 doctors already standing out in front of it. Bakugou tried to get through but they stopped him from entering.
“What?! What fucking now?!” He shouted as he stepped back to keep their hands off of him.
“Sir, they’re taking care of your wife just fine, but you have to wait here.” One of the docs demanded. With that, an argument bursted out between the pro and the doctors. The booming voices shook the building until a familiar voice was heard from behind the blonde.
“Dynamight, your wife’s in good care. I made sure my own wife was to be her head doctor.” Bakugou turned around to find the medic that stopped him from going into your ambulance there.
“It’s you.” He spoke aloud. The medic smiled before bowing.
“Daisuke Ena,” the medic said before standing back up straight. “Please trust me when I say your wife will be fine.”
“…and why should I?” Bakugou said after thinking for a minute.
“My wife is the one taking care of her. She is one of the best, if not the best, doctor in the prefecture. That’s not a biased opinion by the way, you can look her up. Daisuke Ami. I ensured it was her who was to see to your wife.” Daisuke said with a calm smile. After looking towards your hospital room, Katsuki turned back to the medic and nodded silently like he did before. But this time, he added a small ‘thank you.’
6 hours. Katsuki sat in one of the seats in front of your hospital room for 6 fucking hours only for them to tell him they cannot allow you visitors. You were in an unstable condition and so they sent Katsuki home. The news was heart wrenching. You always ran through Katsuki’s mind 24/7. He couldn’t stop it. But now, these thoughts were no longer happy and innocent, consisting of ‘damn, I miss her,’ and ‘I wonder what my girl’s doing right now.’ Instead they consisted of ‘Is she gonna be okay,’ and ‘she’s gonna come home, right?’ but most of all ‘I can’t lose her.’
Luckily for Katsuki, he became familiar with medical staff, Daisuke Ena, and was lucky enough to get his number. Daisuke gave him updates on Y/N. Usually, they weren’t so great but the hero appreciated the messages. The text didn’t help in uplifting Katsuki’s spirits though. If anything, they made them worse. In the beginning, Katsuki had hope that you would turn out okay.
But then a week passed.
And then another.
And then two more and before he knew it, you had already been in there for a month. This was the longest month of Katsuki’s life. It sucks to say but in the 13 years that you both have been together, he’s hasn’t done much alone outside of hero work. And even then, he would be lucky enough to work with you. It was always you and him together. Dates? Duh. Grocery shopping? Always you and him. Going for a walk? Why not? He loves spending as much time as he could with you. He loves you. But he hadn’t realize how dependent he became on your presence. In a way, you being gone drove him mad. He knew where you were. You were in the hospital. He could drive her there and see you right now!
No he can’t.
Because he would go and you would be stuck in bed, unconscious and hooked to machines, in a room, behind a door that Katsuki can’t get by. Seeing you isn’t the same as holding you. Speaking to you isn’t the same as conversing with you. There’s no reciprocation from your end. Being around your near lifeless body could only do so much. And so after two more weeks without you went by, Katsuki fell into a depression.
And that sucks because a few days after Katsuki’s depression began, it was okay for him to see you. But you hadn’t woken up yet. He didn’t think he would be able to be near you and your practically dead body. The fact that you were alive didn’t stick to him. He can’t see your beautiful E/C eyes, he can’t hear your honey-like voice..there’s no way you’re alive. The back of his mind still had hope. He knew you were stable. He knew you were gonna be okay..hopefully..but, you weren’t waking up. You were basically dead. Dead, dead, dead. And the more he thought about it, the more realistic the idea came to be.
So he didn’t visit you anymore..something else he’ll come to regret, and because he didn’t visit, he grew mad. Throwing away his life and succumbing to the tempting taste of alcohol. Any he could get. From the cheapest beers in cans to the finest liquors sold from top shelf. In the beginning, it was..controlled, but then he showed up to hero work completely wasted. Kirishima saved his job and forced Katsuki to take a break until he becomes stable again. This only gave Katsuki free time to do whatever the hell he wanted. And what did he want to do? He wanted to become lost.
Lost in alcohol, lost in weed, lost in everything. Lost because he doesn’t have you. Everyday he would spend it drinking and smoking, constantly being cross faded and surprising all his friends when he remained alive after all the substance abuse. Wake up, drink, get ready, drink, sit in the living room, smoke, cry over you, smoke and drink, eat and drink, go to sleep after a smoke sesh, cry over you once more. Eventually, Katsuki had cried so much, the only thing keeping him together was the fact that he had all these pictures of the two of you. Pictures of your smiles, you giving him a kiss, your dates, your accomplishments..he has all these pictures..but none of them would ever be as good as the real you.
Seeing his friend going down this road, Kirishima couldn’t help but try to do everything he could to fix his friend. No matter how many times Katsuki pushed him away, the red head kept going back. And none of his attempts to help his friend worked. Until…
“What now, Shitty Hair?” Bakugou groaned as he opened his door and squinted at the bright day light. He doesn’t remember that last time he’s seen the sun.
“I know you’ve been in a slump-“
“Slump? That’s what you call this? I lost the love of my life, Kirishima. This isn’t a fucking slump.” Bakugou said a little louder this time.
“She’s not gone, Bakugou.” Kirishima said trying to reassure his friend.
“But she’s not here either,” the blonde said as he chewed on his lip. “…look, whatever it is you want from me, I can’t give you. Not until Y/N is back at home, here, with me, safe and alive.”
“I know you feel that way man, but you can’t keep living like this. It’s not good for you. You at least need to get out of your house.” Kirishima said with his hand on the door as Bakugou tried to shut it. The blonde narrowed his eyes at his best friend before Kirishima spoke up again. “We can go wherever you wanna go and do whatever you wanna do, you just gotta get out of this house. Please.”
As Katsuki thought about it, he took a deep sigh before speaking. “Tonight at Hiro’s?”
“Dude, you wanna go to a bar-“
“It’s a club. Better than a bar, better drinks.” Bakugou corrected.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna hit the gym or maybe go to an actual restaurant or something?” Kirishima said, trying to steer his friend clear of alcohol.
“If you want me out of my house, then we go where I wanna go. No exceptions.” Bakugou said with a stern voice. Kirishima thought about it and sighed before giving in.
“Fine. But first, you gotta clean yourself up.” The red head said. The blonde nodded before going to shut his door, only to be interrupted by his friend once again. “With a little help from your best buds.”
As Kiri pushed the door open even more, Kaminari and Sero showed their faces that held kind smiles that only made Katsuki seethe. “No fucking way. This isn’t some girl’s trip and we aren’t doing makeovers.”
“Nobody said anything about a makeover, we’re just gonna help clean ya’ up Kacchan!” Denki smiled.
“I’m a grown man, I don’t need help cleaning up.” Bakugou said with a growl.
“Tell that to your stubble, messy hair, eye bags, and stench.” Sero began. “Seriously man, you smell like liquor and weed. You’re lucky you got that caramel thing going on to save you…barely.”
Before he knew it, his friends had pushed him into his house and quickly directed him to the bathroom. They did a full treatment. Forced him into the shower and made him soak in a tub of scented soaps and bath additions as they cleaned his house. Once they were done they had picked out a clean outfit for him before working on his face. They shaved his stubble, cleaned up his cut, put some eye cream on his bags, gave him some breath spray and changed out a few of his piercings. The full treatment. And when they showed Bakugou the new old him, he couldn’t deny he felt a little better. At least, before they stepped into his room again and he saw a few pictures of you. That’s when the slump in his shoulder returned.
Seeing this, his friends were quick to take him out of the house and head to Hiro’s. Walking in, they sat at the bar, ordered some food and a few drinks, and did whatever they could to keep Bakugou’s mind off of you. And for most of the night, it worked! Bakugou was laughing again, smiling, being his old self. But that’s when Denki decided to risk it.
“We doing shots or what?” The electric blonde asked. Kirishima gave him a look as he spoke.
“Uh, let’s go light on the liquor tonight. We don’t need shots to have a good time, right?” Kirishima said. Bakugou looked at him and chuckled.
“It’s nice of you to look out for me, Shitty hair, but I got this. Trust me.” Bakugou said with a small smile.
“I don’t know, man.” Kirishima said with a pout.
“Don’t be a pussy, Kirishima.” Kaminari smirked. That’s when all of Kiri’s friends, even Bakugou, began to egg him on. Of course, he gave in. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen? Bakugou gets drunk? He’s already been drunk before, nothing too crazy could happen, right?
Wrong. Shots were being downed and the 4 friends were losing themselves. The music was blasting, the lights were blinding, and the friends were…everywhere! Kirishima was probably puking his guts out in the bathroom, Sero and Kaminari were drunk on the dance floor, leaving Bakugou drunk at the bar by himself. Bad idea. The poor blonde was looking at his phone going through pictures of you and him together. He already missed you like crazy when he was sober, now that he’s drunk, that missing has hit full throttle. And then he caught the eye of a snake.
She walked up to the pro-hero with full confidence as she took a seat next to him. “Dynamight.”
Bakugou looked up from his phone with a scowl and blush from the alcohol. “Do I fucking know you?”
“No but-“
“Then get lost.” He said and downed another sip of his whiskey. The woman smirked at his crude behavior.
“Feisty. I like that about you, you know. Always playing hard to get.” She said with a seductive tone.
“I’m not playing hard to get, I’m playing impossible to get because I’m married,” he said and showed his wedding ring. “Happily.”
“You don’t seem too happy right now mister hero. My name’s Leiko..and if you want..I could help take away your troubles.” She offered with a smile as she leaned forward, making sure to expose a little more cleavage than necessary.
“My wife is better than just some quick fuck, so no thanks.” Bakugou said, still not taking his eyes off her, trying to scare her away with a glare that unfortunately she only smirked at.
“Who said I was trying to fuck? Why don’t you talk to me? Vent. Rant. It won’t get your mind off of your wife but it will help clear your head.” She said.
“And why the hell do you think I’m having issues with my wife?!” He asked with a tense voice.
“I walked over here and you were staring down at pictures of her on your phone. Miss H/N is beautiful. You’re a very lucky man.” Leiko said, playing the role of a snake perfectly.
“…I am..” Bakugou agreed before swallowing a gulp. “I’m Uh…I’m not having issues with her or anything. And we’re not fighting either. She’s just..been in the hospital recovering from a battle..I just miss her…”
He didn’t know whether it was the alcohol or if Leiko was just that good at pretending to be nice or both, but for whatever reason she made it easy to clear his mind. She listened well, never putting any input in. She let him speak freely and only spoke up when he looked at her in expectance to. In the moment..she was being a good friend. She allowed him to vent all he wanted about you, about how much he missed you and loves you. And by the end of the night, Katsuki could feel his chest feel a little lighter.
They didn’t sleep together but Leiko left an impression on his drunk self for sure. Maybe even him as a person. He’d remember her as ‘that one nice lady from the club.’ But that was until a few days later when she reached out to him on social media. Leiko was a perfect snake. Knowing exactly what she wanted and exactly how to get it. They spoke for some time online, casual conversations. Most times, it was Leiko asking about you and if you were okay. This went on for some time until their conversations changed. Leiko casually threw in a little flirt every now and then, Katsuki saw and held no reply for it, but didn’t stop her from doing so. Leiko seemed like a good friend. A good way to air out his emotions and issues. So despite her pushy and flirtatious nature, he kept her around. Solely as a friend.
Soon enough, Leiko offered to meet in person once more. At the same club they first met in. ‘Why not?’ Katsuki thought. He had nothing else to do. And so he went. Then he went again. And again. And again. The two became ‘friends’ and Katsuki even brought her back into your shared home where they shared even more drinks. Eventually, the use of marijuana came into play and now the two were cross faded. At least one of them was. Leiko was smart and sneaky. She took less drinks, didn’t inhale the smoke, and basically remained sober. She was in complete control, unlike the blonde hero who sat on the couch beside her. He was now upset and hurt as he thought about you.
“I-..I just miss her so damn much..it fucking hurts at this point.” He said with a whimper in his voice. Being so vulnerable, Leiko took her chance and slid in.
“Well..there’s always one way to take your mind off of harsh things like this.” She softly said with a hand in his lap. She leaned in and Bakugou made no move to stop her and allowed her to continue. She pressed his lips against his and despite it not being reciprocated the first time, she still pushed with it. Katsuki didn’t enjoy it all that much or at all. It was different, it was new, it wasn’t you. It didn’t feel like home. Her lips weren’t soft, they weren’t as plump, they didn’t have the same sweet and addicting taste you did but in a way..Katsuki felt it was what he needed. Her kiss wasn’t like yours. In fact, it was the complete opposite and he hated it. But it didn’t resemble you. When Leiko kissed him, it didn’t remind him of you, and that’s what he thought he needed. So despite not liking the kiss, when she pulled away, he pulled her back. Eventually the kiss grew more intense until it was brought to the bedroom where their night continued in a more sinful manner.
That morning, Katsuki made Leiko leave, angered at what she tricked him into and ashamed of his betrayal. How could he do that to you?! His love of over a decade! When Leiko was gone, Katsuki allowed himself to break down his walls and cry. He cried so hard that morning, more than he’s ever cried before. That morning made him realize his third regret.
Leiko and Katsuki never spoke again..until some days later when Katsuki allowed himself to become extremely drunk once more. He fell into his obsessive thoughts of you and felt the pain come again. Wanting to erase the hurt, he reached out to Leiko and asked her to come over and distract him again. He needed to feel something that wasn’t you. And so Leiko happily went over that night. And a few more nights because Katsuki felt the pain again for a few more nights. As Leiko kept going, she noticed the house loss more and more touches of you. Katsuki flipped his pictures of you in his bedroom so that they wouldn’t see his nights of betrayal and he moved his clothes out of your shared closet so he wouldn’t be reminded and hit with your addicting scent that lingered on your clothes. Leiko smiled, feeling like a victor as Katsuki slept beside her in your bed on your side. The two would have quite a surprise in the morning.
Katsuki was awake and was still feeling the shame. He didn’t like sleeping around with Leiko but he liked the way it distracted him from his painful thoughts of you. Every morning after a night spent with her was the same. The two would wake up, she would put on one of his shirts despite his protests and get ready in his bathroom as he sat in the living room downstairs. But this morning had a little surprise twist.
As Katsuki sat in the living room with his head down, the doorbell rung. Growling in annoyance at one of his friends’ presence, he reluctantly went to open the door with a sour mood. “WHAT?!”
“Umm, excuse me. Who the fuck do you think you are talking to your wife like that?” You asked with attitude. As Katsuki adjusted his eyes to the light and his ears caught the sound of his favorite song, his eyes widened and his smile rose.
“Y-Y/N?” He asked in complete shock. He saw you alive, healthy, smiling, looking naturally beautiful right in front of him.
“Missed me, Suki?” You asked with a giggle. Bakugou pushed the door open to pull you in for the tightest hug as he lifted you off the ground.
“YOU’RE BACK!” He cried out. He held you tight and shut the door with his foot as he dropped onto the couch with you on top of him. He held you close to him as he cried into your neck. “You’re really back! Fuck- I missed you so much Y/N! I fucking love you- I’ve been a mess without you..shit!”
His tears were everlasting as they fell from his ruby eyes that you missed so much. You smiled as you wiped them away with your thumbs and the soft touch he’s craved and missed so much. You pecked his nose to calm him down as you allowed your hands to get lost in his blonde hair. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here, Suki. I’m back.”
Katsuki still held tears in his eyes and was shaking in happiness as you remained oh so close, giving him the warmth he needed after so many months. “Tell me you love me, Y/N.”
“I love you Bakugou Katsuki.” You happily said. Your husband teared up once more, so happy he was able to hear those words from you again, before pulling you in for a passionate kiss. A kiss that brought him back to life. He took in your scent and the way you tasted illegally sweet. He let his hands roam your body in a loving way until they found way into your soft H/C locks, trying to bring your head closer to his despite your lips already being in contact. You pulled away with him chasing after your lips, needing to push him back a little to allow yourself to breath. “Relax Suki.”
He scoffed at that. “Relax? I just got you back, you’re not calling the shots today princess, that’s all me.”
You both have a little laugh as you tucked in to cuddle for a small time. He missed this. This is what he needed. This is what he’s been dying for. To have you back in his arms, alive, healthy, and present. He needed this for so long and now that he has it, he feels whole again. After spending some cuddle minutes on the couch, you rose up in need for a glass of water. As you tried to walk away, Katsuki tugged on your arm to try and bring you back to him, only to have you calm him down. “I’m just getting some water, Suki.”
He reluctantly let you go, allowing himself to smile like an idiot, glad to be around you again. As you searched for a glass in the cabin, that’s when Bakugou detected the sound of someone turning the shower off. And that’s when his eyes popped. His betrayal to you. The multiple times he betrayed your love and literal proof of it standing in his shared home with you. That’s when he began to silently panic. You were gonna find out. You were gonna find out he had been acting like a sleeze behind your back and you were gonna be pissed. Heartbroken. Downright furious and you had every right to be, but Katsuki wouldn’t allow it. He knew once you found out, you would leave again. But you can’t leave! He just got you back! You’re not allowed to leave when you finally came back to him. He’s finally happy again because you’re back! You can’t leave now!
“Hey, Baby, don’t you wanna see your friends?” Katsuki asked as he walked over to you. You had finished your glass and placed it down on the island when your husband came over asking an absurd question.
“Suki, they were all there when I left the hospital. They were the ones who bought me these new clothes. Aren’t they cute?” You asked with the smile he loved oh so much.
“Uh- yeah, yeah they look amazing on you Teddy Bear. Umm..if they were all with you, why didn’t they tell me you were coming back home?” He asked as you wrapped your arms around his neck and his went right to home on your waist.
“I wanted to surprise you!” You giggled. “How’d I do?”
“Really fucking good, you little dumbass. But why don’t we get some fresh air? Yeah?” He said as he tried pulling you to the door.
“What why? I was just out there.” You said as you stopped in your tracks. “Besides, I heard you didn’t visit me much in the hospital ya’ big meanie. I wanna spend as much time with you as I can.”
“I was gone because I couldn’t stand to see you like that, baby.” He said with a whimper.
“Yeah I figured. Which is why I’m not too mad, but you still gotta make it up to me with cuddles, so let’s go!” You said and tried pulling him in the direction of your bedroom but he planted his feet into the ground.
“We can still spend time together outside the house, Teddy Bear,” Katsuki said enthusiastically, trying to keep you away from the room that for sure reeked of sex and held scattered clothes of his own and another woman’s.
“But I want to spend time at home with you,” you pouted. Bakugou felt his heart melt at the cute face you pulled and brought you closer to him.
“I know, I wanna spend time with you too but I’ve been in the house for so long, I think I need to get out of here.” The blonde said while being aware and on the lookout for Leiko.
“Well I’ve been out of the house for so long and I know I need to be in it. Besides, as your previously injured wife, what I say goes.” You said with sass and a smile. Katsuki laughed, loving your little attitude but still worried of what you may find out.
“Baby please, can we just go?” He begged as he held your soft hands in his.
“Why are you so adamant on leaving, Suki?” You asked
“That’s because he doesn’t want you to find out about me.”
Your body jumped at the sound of a new voice and you looked at Katsuki’s face, noticing it scrunching in fear, before you turned around to find another woman wearing nothing but Katsuki’s shirt. The same shirt you’ve worn a thousand times over. You could feel your heart clenching in pain but you stood your ground no less.
“Who are you?” You asked as you dropped your hands from your husband’s. You heard his little whine at the loss of your touch as he reached out to hold into your arm but you gently pushed him off.
“Y/N-“
“Oh come on, H/N. Don’t be in denial. I bet you already have an exact idea on who I am.” Leiko said with a smirk as she looked at you. You turned to your husband with raised brows and a face of anger as you glared at him. You looked back at her and bit your lip before smiling.
“Were you in it for the long haul?” You asked Leiko, wondering if she really wanted Katsuki or if she was just getting pleasure out of this.
“Definitely not. I just came for a quick fuck every now and then. Wanted to get a feel of what it was like getting dicked down by a big shot pro-hero.” She said casually.
“Did you know he was married?” You asked.
“Yeah but he didn’t seem to care so neither did I.” She said. This made your blood boil a bit and you wanted to cry so damn bad, but you refused to allow your whore of a husband and this stranger to see you break. You huffed before smiling again.
“You can take your leave now.” You kindly said. Leiko looked at you in confusion.
“You’re not mad?” She asked. Katsuki had the same thought running through his mind as his heart raced at this conversation happening right here right now.
“Oh I’m furious. But am I really supposed to be mad at some stranger who’s content with being a home wrecker? ‘Cuz I feel like most of my anger should be directed to the man-whore behind me.” You said, never looking Katsuki’s way.
“Y/N, please-“
“I’m not speaking to you yet.” You said calmly, still not looking at him. You didn’t have to turn around to know there were tears in your husband’s eyes. Leiko smiled before standing a little taller.
“Well then, I’ll be taking my leave,” she said and took off the big shirt and throwing it onto the couch, leaving herself in her underwear. “Am I expected to be back for another visit?”
“You can come back as many times as Katsuki asks. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a single man again.” You said with a laugh.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Katsuki asked with a break in his voice. Leiko laughed too before nodding and walking back to the bedroom and gathering her things. You walked silently to sit on the couch with Katsuki following you. “Y/N, what the fuck do you mean I’m single. I’m still your husband!”
You remained silent as you looked at him with a sarcastic smile. You said nothing as you waited for Leiko to return. “Say something!”
Finally, Leiko walked down the stairs, fully dressed, and looked to you before taking her leave. You smiled at her before speaking. “So..I don’t want him anymore. Do you?”
“No I’m good. Anybody’s good for a fuck but I don’t date cheaters.” Leiko said with her hand on the knob.
“I’m not a fucking cheater!” Katsuki shouted at her as he had tears dripping down his face. She gave him a dry laugh before opening the door.
“Take a look around Bakugou. You’re not a cheater?” She asked before walking out and shutting the door, leaving the two of you in the broken home. Silence passed and all that could be heard was Katsuki’s shaky breath. You then stood up, gaining his attention, and tried walking to your bedroom before Katsuki stopped you by holding onto your arm. Tight.
“Where the fuck are you going, Y/N?” He asked as he cried angrily. You tried to shake him off of you to no avail.
“I’m leaving you fucking idiot. If you haven’t noticed, you cheated. You were disloyal. You allowed some stranger into our home, into our bed, just to get your dick wet.” You said with an angry but calm tone.
“She wasn’t a stranger.” Bakugou said trying to defend himself. You laughed and stepped to face him.
“Oh really? Tell me one damn thing you know about her.” You asked. As Katsuki thought about it..he really didn’t know anything about her. Fuck- he didn’t even know her family name. All he knew was that her name was Leiko. They were speaking for a month and in that entire month, Katsuki only ever talked about himself. She never gave up any information about herself. All she wanted to do was get to know Katsuki and get in his pants. She really was a stranger and he just tossed away his entire relationship for some whore. His silence gave you your answer. “That’s what I thought.”
You tried walking away again before he ran to stand in front of you. “Y/N! Please! Just listen, okay? I was depressed because you were gone!”
“And that’s your excuse for cheating on me?!” You shouted.
“No! But- but it hurt me to even think about you in that hospital bed! I couldn’t even face you without feeling like I was dying! And then that fucking snake came and she distracted me and kept my thoughts away from you. She kept the pain away. I know that that’s not excuse for what I did but please try to understand why I did it!” He begged as he cried.
“I will never understand! Because I could never do what you did! If you were in the hospital, close to death, I would’ve been by your side every second of every day! Yes I would’ve felt all the pain and depression you did but I wouldn’t want to distract myself from it! Because at least then I would be thinking about you, and worrying about you, and caring about you, and loving you because you’re my husband Katsuki! I wouldn’t ever want to not think about you!” You shouted in anger and hurt as you allowed a few tears to fall. This urged Katsuki to cup your face in his hands and wipe away your tears.
“I’m so sorry, baby. Please, can we just move pass this? Please.” He said softly as he pressed his forehead to your own before you shoved him off.
“Get away from me!” You shouted, breaking his heart as he stumbled back. “After everything we’ve been through, you go and do this to me?! AFTER EVERYTHING?!”
“IM SORRY! PLEASE! I CAN’T TAKE BACK WHAT I DID BUT YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME!” He shouted back.
“WHO THE FUCK SAYS I HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU, BAKUGOU?!” You said, emphasizing the use of his family name. The name that you also held.
“Don’t call me that, baby, please.” He whimpered.
“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT BAKUGOU! WE’RE DONE!” You shouted and walked away to your room with him following you. He kept spewing apologies up until you opened the bedroom door. It was a horrible mess and the stench of sex filled the air. You covered your mouth and nose as tears pricked your eyes before walking in to open your closet, disappointed as you noticed all the pictures of you two were flipped to be hidden. When you opened the doors, you didn’t find your clothes. “Where the fuck is my stuff, Bakugou.”
“I’m not telling you because you’re not leaving me, Y/N!” He said as he tried to hug you from behind before you pushed him off again.
“I’m not staying here! Tell me where my stuff is so I can leave!” You demanded.
“Like hell I will! We haven’t even had a full talk about this! You can’t just leave!” He said. You watched as tears fell down his face which only made you even more angry. He was crying? He did this! This is all his fault! How can he be the one upset?! “Y/N please, I’ll get on my fucking knees and beg you to stay if it’s what it takes but you can’t go! We’ve been together for 13 years! 13! Even before UA-“
“And you threw all that away when you decided to sleep with someone else.” You said calmly. You walked out of the room in search for your clothes as he followed and continued to speak with sobs breaking apart his sentences.
“Y/N please! I- I can fix this! You don’t have to go! You can stay and we can be happy, just like we’ve always been! Just like we were a few minutes ago before that bitch walked in and ruined everything!” He cried making you turn around in a snap.
“She didn’t ruin anything Katsuki. When you allowed her to come into your life and into our home, that’s when you fucked up. You did this to us. You ruined everything.” You said before continuing your search.
“T-Tell me what you want Y/N! I’ll make it happen! I’ll do anything- I’ll give you the fucking world! As long as you stay!” He begged. You approached the guest room in silence and Bakugou grew frantic as he blocked you from going in. “Please- don’t.”
“All my stuff is in there, isn’t it?” You asked, already knowing the answer and only having it confirmed when he remained silent. “Get out of my way.”
Bakugou shook his head as he kept the door block as you tried to pry your way through. Growing frustrated, you used a small amount of your quirk to blast him through the door, having him groan in pain as he hit the floor and watched you find your clothes in the guest room closet. You began packing your things and Bakugou was quick to stand and take everything you put in your bag out. “Stop it!”
“No! You’re staying with me! You’re not leaving me Y/N- I won’t lose you again!” He said as he tossed your bag across the room. You watched it go and stood in disbelief at his childish antics.
“Heh, you know what? Whatever, keep all the clothes. Maybe you’ll gift it to the next girl you decide to bring back here.” You said with attitude.
“I’m not bringing anybody else through those doors! I ONLY WANT YOU Y/N!” He shouted.
“Doubtful. Keep it, burn it, regift it, I don’t care. With my salary I can buy myself a new wardrobe and a new apartment. Far. Away. From you.” You said and walked out of the room. As you tried to exit the house, Katsuki pulled you back into his arms as you struggled in his grip with your face smushed against his chest.
“Please! Please tell me what you want! I’ll do anything! I’ll buy you anything! We’ll do whatever you want- Y/N I’ll even quit my job! Just please don’t go! Please forgive me!” He cried before you harshly pushed him off to reveal your sobbing face.
“I WANT TO LEAVE! BECAUSE I DONT WANT THIS ANYMORE KATSUKI!” You shouted before wiping your eyes and bringing your voice down. “I wanted my husband there with me at the hospital! I wanted him to be the first face that I saw when I woke up! But you couldn’t even give me that! Instead, you were in our home in our bed with some random person you found wherever having sex with her despite the fact that you’re a married man! …I was in a fucking hospital fighting for my life and my husband was too busy cheating on me, trying not to think about me…..I want to leave Katsuki.”
“….I can’t let you do that Y/N…I’m sorry. But I can’t do this without you.” He cried as you listed all his shortcomings. “I’ll give you whatever-“
“I don’t want material things!” You shouted in exhaustion. “I wanted your loyalty and love!”
“And you have that!”
“We wouldn’t be in this situation if I did!” You said. “I’m leaving, Katsuki. And not you or anybody else in this fucking world is going to stop me. If you try and trap me here I will break down these walls myself and get out. If you force me to stay I will do whatever it takes to get away from you. I’m not staying with you. So we’re done. And we’re getting a divorce, whether you like it or not.”
As you walked to the door you could hear his heart breaking cries as you opened the exit. “Y/N please. I don’t want this, I waited months for you to come home to me…I need you.”
“When are you gonna realize Katsuki? This is your fault. You did this to us.”
And with that, you shut the door on the house, the home, the relationship, and him. And it was all his fault.
A/N: Y’all ima be writing a part 2 for this so stay tuned
Tag list: @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101 @ebiharachan @is-this-ash @iris-shihabi @sxturn-stars @isolight @lanantoine @whatdidshesayyy @kiranogareru
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ppersonna · 3 years
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my only wish - knj | m
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“ santa can you hear me? i have been so good this year. and all i want is one thing. please tell me my true love is here ” - my only wish (this year), britney spears
✹ summary- There are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug.
✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw
✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader
✹ word count- 15.1k OOF
✹ genre- smut, fluff, tiny tiny angst if you squint, enemies to lovers, fake dating au, idiots to lovers, brief mention of YoonMin
✹ warnings- penetrative sex, unprotected sex (dont do it), daddy kink lolol, namjoon has a big dick, oral sex (m/f receiving), cum swallowing, light cum play, dirty talk, light degradation (very light tbh), praise kink, lots of mentions of joon being a beefy boy, masturbation,
✹ a/n- its here!! finally! my contribution to rockin around the christmas tropes. big big big shout out to @ladyartemesia​ @xjoonchildx​ @untaemedqueen​ @underthejoon​ @yeojaa​ @snackhobi​ for being my co collaborators. and a warm shout out to @wwilloww​ and @hobi-gif​ for being some very lovely betas. thank you thank you! i hope you enjoy!
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There are few things you hate most in this world. 
 Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange…
 But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things: 
 Christmas. 
 And Kim Namjoon. 
Christmas, in your opinion, is nothing more than a consumerist holiday, anchored on ensuring you’re guilted enough from November 1st to the 25th of December to spend your hard earned money on shit your friends and loved ones won’t even use. It’s a time for people to pretend they love giving and caring, while shoving you out of lines in stores, buying up all the groceries as if it’s the end times, and forcing party after mindless party for “celebration” that ends in seeing your boss drunk and pants-less by the punchbowl. 
 And don’t even start on Kim Namjoon. 
 On paper, he’s your colleague, to put the terms friendly. In reality, he’s your opponent, your adversary. He’s annoying, rude, stuck up, and not to mention a douchebag heartbreaker. He’s everything you hate wrapped in one disgustingly handsome face. 
 The man never misses a chance to steal a case from underneath your nose, rub the praise he receives from your bosses in your face, and look ridiculously delectable in his tight suits that he insists he wears around the office. He absolutely infuriates you. 
 And now, as you sit in the company-wide meeting, your heart sinks as you realize the worst thing about Namjoon—he’s about to get the promotion you’ve been vying for your entire career.
 That position was as good as yours—at least, you had thought.
 That was until lead counsel, Seokjin, stands in front of all the attorneys present and calls out Namjoon’s name, commending him on winning his latest case—the case that you had done the bulk of the work for. Seokjin even tells the rest of the lawyers in the room that Namjoon is “someone to watch” with a glint of pride in his eyes. 
 The smug smile Namjoon sends in your direction as he teasingly nibbles on a pen with his sultry mouth is enough to make you want to tear his eyes out and use them as olives in the martini you sorely needed.
 Namjoon smirks as he walks past you once the meeting ends.
 “Make sure you watch me, baby,” he whispers into your ear. 
 His hand rests on your lower back and you hate how much he aggravates you, and hate even more so that he frustrates you sexually as much as he does intellectually.
 Unfortunately, your body can’t keep up with your mind’s distaste for the elder lawyer. His presence around you makes your blood vessels tighten and your head feel light—nipples prickling against your bra when he winks at you.
 “Asshole,” you whisper under your breath as you pack up your notebook.
 “Oh, ___!” Seokjin calls out just as you’re about to leave the all-glass meeting room.
 Your head suddenly screeches to a very frustrated, sexual halt when you turn to face the lead counsel of your company.
 “Yes, Mr. Kim?”
 “I’ve got a case for you.”
 The smile on his face makes you relax. Maybe he sees your potential. Maybe he’s testing you just as much as he’s testing Namjoon. Maybe you’ll be the “one to watch” and you can rub that right in Namjoon’s perfect, stunning face.
 A thick manila folder slides across the oak table towards you from Seokjin’s hands. The impressive volume of the dossier makes you giddy with anticipation.
 “I know you won’t let me down.”
 You nod, nibbling at your lips, before bowing to your superior and dashing out of the room as fast as your Louboutins can handle.
 It’s not until you sit at your desk, a cramped little cubicle next to Park Jimin, your best friend and paralegal assistant, that you open the folder.
 Your heart sinks as your eyes hurriedly rush over the title page.
 Personal Injury Suit.
 A dejected sigh leaves you as you throw the folder onto your desk and slouch back in your ergonomic office chair.
 “What’s up, pussycat?” Jimin smiles as he rolls his chair over to your side of the cubicle. “Namjoon got you worked up again?”
 You groan as you take off your reading glasses, setting them aside to rub at the burgeoning headache building at your temples. You had momentarily forgotten all about Namjoon in the hurried hope that you’d land a case of significance, something you could finally use to prove yourself.
 Instead, you gained yet another in-and-out, settle outside of court case. Likely some elderly geriatric suing a corporation for too-slippery floors.
 “Another fucking personal injury suit,” you whine as you thrust the folder into the lithe paralegal’s hands.
 He looks over the documents and sucks his teeth.
 “Man, Seokjin really has it out for you.”
 You level a look at your best friend, before nodding and holding your head in your hands.
 “Namjoon is getting all the good cases! He gets the media attention, the litigation deals, everything! It’s like I’m not even given a chance to show what kind of lawyer I can be when I’m stuck with all the nursing home and car accident suits!”
 Jimin bows dutifully, nodding his head as you express your woes.
 “I can do more than just personal injury litigation… and Seokjin knows that! It’s just that Namjoon keeps getting all the air-time!”
 “I know, babe. I know.”
 With one last sigh of disbelief, you take the folder out of Jimin’s hands and sit upright at your desk.
 “Well, I guess if I’m going to be a personal injury lawyer, I’m going to be the best fucking one yet. Let’s get to work.”
 “Yeah! Fighting!” Jimin cheers.
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  Namjoon sighs as he listens to his mother blabber on and on through his phone. He leans back in his chair and surveys the wide expanse of his corner office.
 Seokjin gave him this space, an upgrade from the desolate cubicles when he won his last big case, Kim Taehyung, artist v. the city of New York. He can’t help but smirk as he glimpses you from his window, pouring over a case file. He notes the curve of your back in the silk blouse you’re wearing and the way it tucks into your pencil skirt. He wishes he could see the outline of your ass and watch as it sways back and forth when you walk.
 “I just don’t understand why you can’t ever bring anyone home for the holidays!”
 His mother breaks him from his silent reverie of detailing every aspect of your backside.
 “You know your grandmother will not be alive much longer! And all she wants is her only grandson to be happy and in love! And a few grandchildren won’t hurt!”
 “I am her grandchild, Mom.”
 She’s silent for a moment.
 “Well, I wouldn’t mind some grandchildren either.”
 He groans again and presses his fingers to his forehead, a headache bubbling up behind his eyes.
 “Don’t you act like that, young man! You have a big empty house, big car, big life, and no one to share it with. I just want you to be happy.”
 She continues on and Namjoon can’t help but let her words sink in.
 He has it all. Expensive luxury apartment, enormous bed, gorgeous kitchen, money to spend on traveling and enjoying life. Yet he spends most of his time here, stuck in his office. He’s utterly alone, regardless of how many social guests he tries to entertain, horrid dates he attempts to go on. He’s always left alone, and he feels it deep at the very bottom of his heart—the loneliness and desire for a companion.
 “Mom! Mom!” He interrupts her diatribe on the futility of his adult life. “Stop!”
 “Namjoon, I’m just conce-”
 “I’ll bring home my girlfriend for the holidays, okay?”
There’s a stunned silence on the other end.
 “A girlfriend?” she asks, tentatively. “Really?”
 “Yeah,” he breathes, wincing already at the lie he’s spoon-feeding his poor mother—all in the name of getting her off his back. “She’s kind of shy, so I didn’t want to tell you about her yet, but now seems like the best time. I’m... I’m even thinking of proposing.”
 The words come out of Namjoon’s mouth before he can stop them. His mom bursts into screams of delight, and he can tell she’s running to his beloved grandmother to tell her the news.
 “Oh, Namjoon! This is all we’ve ever wanted for you. I’m so proud of you! I can’t wait to meet her! Oh, goodness, I can’t want to tell your father. Goodbye, son! I’ll see you two soon!”
 She hangs up before Namjoon has a chance to even breathe.
 “Fuck.”
 He drops his phone to his wooden desk and grimaces. 
 How the hell is he going to find a fiance in the next 3 days before the holiday break? 
 There’s Jennie, his ex.
 He thinks about it for a moment, before quickly dismissing it. No, much too clingy and possessive. She’d take it to be real, and he’d be stuck with her.
 His last hookup, Jihoo?
 No, too aloof. His mom would never buy that they were a love-sick couple on the brink of engagement.
 A crash outside his office startles Namjoon, making him stand and exit the large corner suite.
 The commotion is coming from your cubicle, where he can see you’re struggling to use the decrepit computer. The crash must have been from you slamming the keyboard to the desk, causing the individual keys to pop off the board.
 “Shit! Jimin, help me put this keyboard back together!” 
 You shimmy out of your chair and onto your knees, an excellent sight for Namjoon if he wasn’t so concerned about your well-being.
 The paralegal is standing above you, watching as you kneel to gather the pieces of the obliterated keyboard.
 “Oh no, honey. It’s against my personal constitution to be on my knees unless it’s for a handsome man.”
 “God, Jimin, come on.”
 “Hey, it’s not my fault you hulk-smashed the life out of that poor keyboard.”
 Namjoon smirks, turning back into his office and sliding into his desk. He easily opens his MacBook and emails Yoongi in IT, requesting a brand new computer for your desk—no holds barred. He wants the top of the line for you.
 He suddenly has just the person in mind to be his fake fiancée. 
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  A brand new, gorgeous computer is at your desk the next day you arrive.  You nearly spill your hot peppermint mocha when you see the sleek machine atop your old plastic desk instead of the broken clunker that was there the day before.
 “What the hell?” You ask Jimin as you set your coffee down gently as if any movement might scare the new computer away. “Did you order this?”
 “I love you, but I would never order you something this nice.” 
 You can’t help but roll your eyes as you sit down to marvel at the modern machinery. At least Jimin is honest.
 “Maybe I’ll call Yoongi and ask him where it came from,” you wonder aloud, hand hovering over your phone.
 “YOONGI?” Jimin screeches, eyes suddenly wide and crazed.
 “Yeah? The IT guy?”
 “I know who Yoongi is, you dumbass! Here, let me call him! I’m your assistant!”
 He scrambles to grab the phone out of your hand.
 “You literally refuse to do anything I ask.”
 Jimin smiles cherubically, completely ignoring your confusion. He’s suddenly the picture of a model employee.
 “Don’t you worry! I’ll be right on it!”
 He hops from your desk with your cell phone gripped tight, and saunters away to a secluded area out of your eyesight.
 “What the fuck is going on today?” You ask out loud, settling into your chair and unloading your bag of files.
 “How's the new computer?”
 The sudden intruder makes you jump, nearly spilling your coffee, yet again.
 “Fuck!” You shriek as you attempt to right yourself and the dangerously hot liquid sloshing in the paper cup. “You scared me!”
 The chuckle that comes from behind you makes your stomach flip. You know that laugh. You could recognize that laugh a hundred miles away, in a hurricane, with headphones on.
 That laugh is the sultry demon himself, Kim Namjoon.
 “I—How did you know about my computer?”
 Namjoon takes a knee, bringing his face to your level in your chair. He’s close to you, so dangerously close. You can smell the Giorgio Armani cologne applied to his pressure points—the heat of his skin warming the scent and mingling with his own subtleties. Your eyes nearly roll back in your head. He smells so comforting—like a home you never knew you were missing until he arrived.  
 “I saw it when I walked in this morning.” 
 He breaks you from your daydreaming of warm, firm hands caressing your body and you’re thrown headfirst back into reality—the reality where you can’t stand the man mere inches from you.
 You push back from where you are and stand, eager to get away from Namjoon’s sudden interest in close proximity. He smirks and rises from his spot, pocketing his hands in his tight cream suit.
 “Care to join me in my office for some coffee?” He asks.
 His office. The one he scored after he won the Kim Taehyung case. The bitter betrayal still lingers in your mouth. 
 For the longest time, you had been equal in every sense; both living in the dingy cubicles with the computers long-destined for retirement. Then, Seokjin awarded him with the corner office, the one with the view of the entire city. You’d never forgiven either of them.
 “I have my own coffee.”
 Namjoon smirks as he eyes your paper cup, clearly a quick grab from the 7-Eleven around the corner.
 “Looks fancy.”
 You purse your lips and clutch your coffee even closer.
 “Please,” he asks again. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
 Namjoon’s face loses its snark, and you’re curious about what could cause the man to become so serious.
 “Fine.”
 You motion with your arm towards his office, encouraging him to walk ahead. He smirks again, ah—there’s that smirk, before he turns and heads into the gorgeous corner room.
 He lingers by the door as you enter, waiting until you’ve crossed the threshold to close the door behind you. It surprises you. Something about being in a closed room with Namjoon sets you on edge. You can nearly imagine the man bending you over that fine oak desk, hiking your skirt up and spanking your ass until it’s red.
 “Coffee?” He asks as he moves towards the in-office espresso machine.
 “Are you fucking kidding me? You have a Nespresso in your office?” 
 All desperate and wanton thoughts of Namjoon sliding into you leave once you see the stainless steel contraption in the room's corner. Of course he has a $500 coffee machine in his office. He has everything you want.
 “You like it?” His question is cocky. He already knows the answer.
 “Fuck off.”
 Namjoon grins and turns the machine on, pulling out two mugs while you sip your now lukewarm coffee. It suddenly tastes disgusting.
 “So, what’s the deal, Namjoon?” You ask as he rests against the wall and waits for the coffee to brew. “You said it was important.”
 Namjoon nods, a more reserved look taking the place of his usual cocky grin on his face. His gaze turns down to his shiny dress shoes.
 “I need a favor.”
 “No.” Your answer is quick.
 Namjoon looks up at you in surprise.
 “You haven’t even heard it yet!”
 “Yeah, well…,” you huff. “I’m not interested in helping you.”
 Namjoon leaves his post by his elaborate coffee maker, forgetting about the piping-hot liquid drizzling into white mugs, as he stands in front of you. There’s that fucking cologne again. Why does he have to smell so good?
 “You’ve got to help me. Please.”
 His sudden closeness to you sets your brain off—your steely resolve begins to crumble.
 “Fine, I’ll bite. What is it?”
 His face lights up again. God, he has such a handsome mouth.
 “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for my family Christmas party.”
 If you hadn’t had such a good grip on the convenience store cup of coffee, it’d surely drop from your clutch and splatter on the expensive carpet of Namjoon’s office.
 Your eyes widen, and your mouth falls agape.
 “You—You what?!”
 Namjoon sighs and lowers his voice.
 “Look, I…” he struggles. “I told my mom I have a girlfriend, so she’d get off my back about it.”
 “And why am I suddenly your best option for that?!” 
 You step away from the man, determined to clear your mind as the scenario weaves its way through your head. 
 Namjoon’s girlfriend. He wants you to be his girlfriend.
 Well, his fake girlfriend.
 He would hold your hand. He would kiss you. He would touch your body in ways you convince yourself you don’t think of often. 
 “You’re the only girl I know who’s got a good enough poker face to go along with it. And honestly… you’re the only girl I really know well enough.”
 His last admission shocks you. Namjoon seems like the womanizing type—one to bring a different girl home every night.
 “That doesn’t explain why the fuck I would want to help you.”
 Namjoon steps back and moves towards the coffee machine again.
 “If you help me, I’ll take all your shitty cases that Jin is giving you.”
 Your eyes narrow at the tall man. It seems too good to be true.
 “How d'you know about them?”
 Namjoon shrugs and grabs a mug full of freshly brewed expensive coffee.
 “I can hear you complain to Jimin about it every day.”
 You grumble under your breath, sucking on your teeth as you try to process the terms of Namjoon’s deal.
 “So you want me to be your fake girlfriend for your family…” you muse.
 “Yes,” he agrees. “And I’ll do all your worst cases for the next 2 months. I’ll even give you my next big one. I know you want that.”
 God, he’s right. That’s all you want. A chance to prove yourself to Seokjin, to the company.
 With an aggravated sigh, you relent. 
 “Fine! But it better be a good fucking case. And, I’m using your coffee maker every morning.”
 Namjoon can’t help but chuckle, loving the fire in your voice. 
 “Deal?” He murmurs.
 He holds out his hand to shake on it, and it takes you by surprise how warm and soft his large hands are once you slide your own into his grip.  
 “Deal.”
 Jimin is not going to let you live this one down.
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  Jimin doesn’t let you live it down.
 He’s sitting on your couch, legs crossed underneath him as he hoists his wine glass filled to the brim. He holds it away from his body as he shakes with laughter.
 “You’re telling me,” he wheezes. “That you agreed to be Namjoon’s fake Christmas girlfriend? You hate that man!”
 Flopping into the couch beside him, you sigh.
 “Yeah, well, it was my only option. He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”
 “Okay, Godfather,” Jimin snickers. “Lord knows you still want to bone that man, anyway.”
 “Jimin!” You admonish. “I do not! And that wasn’t the deal!”
 He sips at his red wine with an impish smile. You hate it when Jimin looks at you like that, like he can see behind the lie you’ve so carefully crafted of your hatred for Namjoon.
 “Then tell me, what was the deal?”
 You fiddle with the stem of your own wine glass, sighing.
 “He’s offered to take all our shitty personal injury suits for the next two months. And he’s giving me his next big case.”
 Jimin actually looks surprised—as if he didn’t expect Namjoon to provide a deal so worth the cost.
 “Wow,” he breathes.
 You nod in reply, taking a large gulp of the pinot grigio in your glass.
 “You’re still going to fuck him though, I know it,” Jimin adds.
 You splutter your wine from your mouth, hand reaching over to gently slap Jimin on his taut abdomen.
 “Shut up!” You cry.
 Jimin looks proud of himself, sipping his red wine gleefully while he settles further into your couch. Wine nights with Jimin is the highlight of your weeks. Together, you bitch over cases, coworkers, dating struggles, and eat too much cheese and cured meats and nurse a hangover the following day with brunch.
 “Hey,” you say to Jimin as you set your wine down on the coffee table. “Did you ever talk to Yoongi?”
 Jimin’s cheeks immediately turn a shade of rouge.
 “Yoongi? Yoongi who?”
 “Oh my god,” you groan. “Yoongi from IT. You stole my phone to call him today? To ask about my new computer?”
 Jimin swallows a large swig of his wine.
 “Oh. Yes, I did.”
 “And?” You encourage the blonde to answer further.
 “And he’s doing well,” Jimin replies demurely.
 “Jimin!” You huff. “The computer?!”
 Jimin makes an ‘O’ shape with his mouth and bites his lip.
 “I… might have forgotten to ask.”
 Your mouth drops open.
 “You literally stole my phone out of my hands to call him! What did you talk about?!”
 There’s his blush again. The shade of pink on Jimin’s cheeks would be adorable if you weren’t so flabbergasted by his answers.
 “I have a date tomorrow night.” He takes another sip as you let the reply sink in.
 “Oh. My. God.” You gasp, a smile now overtaking your features. “You have a crush on Min Yoongi!”
 Jimin sets his wine glass down next to yours and turns to you.
 “I had no idea if he was into me! But when I called, I totally forgot why I was calling him and we sort of just… started talking and next thing I know, he’s asking me out to dinner tomorrow night.”
 You playfully slap at Jimin’s thigh.
 “You little slut—using my phone to get yourself a date. On company time!”
 Jimin sticks his tongue out at you, before grabbing a pillow and slapping you with the overstuffed cushion.
 “At least I didn’t agree to be his fake girlfriend!”
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  It’s the sound of your phone ringing at 7:32 am that wakes you from your spot on the couch, wine glass still clutched in your hand.
 “What the fuck?” You grumble, eyes blearily seeking the offending object disturbing your sleep.
 Jimin grumbles next to you, kicking at your foot as if it will stop the phone from ringing.  
“Stop,” he whines and cuddles into his fetal position. “Turn it ooooff.”
 You locate your cell phone and groan as you recognize the name on the caller ID. Namjoon. What the fuck could he possibly be calling for? And why did he have to call at seven in the goddamn morning? 
 “What do you want?” You snap as you hold the phone to your cheek and throw yourself back onto the couch.
 “Well, good morning to you, sunshine.”
 Namjoon’s voice, as sexy and sultry as it sounds, still aggravates you.
 “Why are you calling me? It’s Saturday. Its seven am.”
 Namjoon chuckles and you fight the shiver that works through your spine at the sound.
 “I tend to keep human hours on the weekend.”
 You can’t hold back the sarcastic guffaw that escapes you.  
 “Okay, Mr. Perfect,” you sigh. “That doesn’t explain calling me.”
 Jimin kicks at your foot again. 
 “Stop talking,” he grumbles.
 God, Jimin is such a diva when he’s hungover.
 “Meet me at the cafe on First Street,” Namjoon says casually. “I’ll tell you when you get here.”
 “Right now?!” You ask, incredulous.
 “I’m literally already here. Hurry before your coffee gets cold.”
 You let out a whine that could rival a 5-year-old’s temper tantrum.
 “Fuck you. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
 There’s no care about your phone when you end the call and throw it to the floor.  Jimin grumbles and rubs at his eyes.
 “Why the fuck are you having phone sex with Namjoon so early in the morning?” He asks.
 “Jimin, I swear to God.”
 He wraps himself in the throw blanket and buries his face back into the couch while you stand and retreat to your bedroom to throw on some semblance of appropriate clothing for the occasion.
 “Fucking Namjoon,” you grumble under your breath as you change into jeans and a sweater. “Fuck him and his stupid, sexy face. And his unbelievable ass. And his stupid, probably enormous penis. Man, I hate him.”
 As you’re re-entering the living room and grabbing your important items (keys, wallet, lip gloss just in-case), Jimin pops his head out of his blanket cave.
 “Where are you going?” He asks, suddenly less annoyed and more pathetic. “You’re leaving me?”
 “I have to go meet Namjoon for coffee. I don’t know why, so don’t ask.”
 “You’re really going to let me suffer here? Alone? With no coffee?”
 You spin around to face your best friend, who’s giving you an absolutely soul-crushing pout and puppy eyes.
 “Yes. Call Yoongi.”
 His precious pout is wiped away, and a devious smirk takes its place.
 “Great idea!” He says as he digs around for his phone. “Be careful out there! It’s icy! Wouldn’t want you to slip and fall on Namjoon’s dick.”
 Your only reply is one singular middle finger in Jimin’s direction as you exit your apartment.
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  Namjoon can’t help but smile as he sips his warm coffee. The cafe is warm and bright, despite the chill outside. 
 Things feel peaceful. Tender flakes of snow trickle down outside and frost up the shop’s window. There’s something about this time of year that strikes him down to the core. Something cozy, something warm.
 It’s odd to think this will be his first year not celebrating the holiday alone.
 Even if it is... well, fake. 
 The bell over the door chimes an arrival, and Namjoon can tell by the grumbles and grunts and stomps of snowy boots that it’s you.
 “Over here!” He calls, raising a hand and turning to face you.
 Wow, he thinks. You look gorgeous, even without trying.
 You hurry your way over to the booth and plop yourself on the opposite side, immediately lunging for the obvious mug of coffee waiting for you on the table. You don’t waste a minute gulping the liquid down your throat, then spluttering when you realize it’s still hot.
 “I thought you said it was getting cold!” You cry, airing out your burnt tongue. Namjoon can’t help but imagine that tongue sliding up and down his cock.
 Not now. Wrong time and place to get a boner.
 Namjoon smiles as he sips his cappuccino. 
 “I got you a fresh one.”
 You make a face, but your features soften. As if you’re pleased with the idea that Namjoon cared to freshen up your cup.
 “Oh, well--”, you manage. “Thank you.”
 Namjoon doesn’t reply, but merely tips his head. The silence is thick enough to cut with a knife. Normally, you’re both normally so wound up in aggravating the other that a moment of calm is strange, but not unwelcome.
 “So, why the early morning wake up?” You finally ask, fiddling with the handle of the mug.
 Namjoon settles his cup down.
 “We need to get to know each other. Deep shit, you know. The shit that lovers would know about each other.”
 He notices you, watches as you nibble at your lip. You try hard to hide it behind the mug you lift to your lips, but Namjoon notices. 
 “I’m hoping maybe we could spend the day together,” he adds. “I need to get some Christmas gifts for my family and… well, it’s rather lonely doing it on my own.”
 There’s a slight smile at the ends of your lips.
 “And you needed me at seven thirty in the morning to do that?”
 He stifles a laugh.
 “Like I said, I operate at regular human hours. Even on weekends,” he replies.
 With a dramatic sigh, you agree.
 “Fine,” you say. “I’m an open book. Ask me anything.”
 He watches as you settle into the seat of the booth, hands gripping the warm mug like it’s a personal heater. He notices you’re only wearing jeans and a sweater--no properly warm clothing for the snow storm ahead. He’ll have to fix that, and soon.  
 “What are you doing for Christmas?” He asks.
 You level a look.
 “Spending it pretending to be in love with you.”
 Namjoon can’t help but snort a laugh.
 “I meant after that.”
 You shrug as you settle back into the seat.
 “I don’t like Christmas. I don’t do much other than force Jimin to kiss me under the mistletoe and watch shitty movies with a gallon of boxed wine.”
 “Hmm,” he hums. “You’re sort of a Grinch.”
 A scowl comes over your face.
 “I am not! I just don’t buy into this whole ‘prove how much you love me by buying me things’ shit. It’s a big scheme, I tell you! Capitalist propaganda! They encourage you to spend all your money, and if you don’t, they shame and guilt you by telling you you don’t love your family enough.”
 Namjoon can’t help but laugh as you rant. It’s what makes you such a talented lawyer—your ability to feel a passion so deep within you you’re able to convince a stone-faced jury of your side.
 “Don’t laugh at me!” You cry. “I’m serious! My family doesn’t celebrate, I don’t celebrate. I’d rather just buy gifts for my loved ones when I see something they’d like. Why do we have to put a time of year on it?”
 He shrugs and scooches his mug around the carbonate table.
 “I suppose that makes sense,” he muses. “But you’re still a Grinch. And a Scrooge. You’ll definitely get visited by some Ghosts at midnight.”
 “Ha ha,” you snark sarcastically. “Hilarious, Namjoon. Don’t tell me you’re a big festive guy.”
 “Somewhat. It’s my Mom’s favorite holiday. It’s why she’s so bent out of shape about me having a girlfriend. Something about family and love and shit.”
 You nod, understanding him completely. Your own mother, despite her reservations towards the holiday, still makes a fuss over your single status. There must be some Mom code to obsess over your children’s woeful dating life.
 “Well, I say let’s get on with it then. Ready to hit the shops?” He asks.
 You’re mid-sip of your finally cooled coffee and you send a desperate look to the man in front of you.
“Already?!”
 “We’re burning daylight, baby.”
 Namjoon stands and you can’t help but feel a roar of flames in your belly at the pet-name. Your cheeks are surely flaming up and you admonish yourself for getting so peaked about such a trivial name.
 “Please don’t tell me we’re walking,” you murmur as you sneak a peek outside.
 The snow is falling down harder now, and you’re dreadfully underdressed for the weather.
 Namjoon tsks at your lack of outerwear, but then shakes his head.
 “No, we’ll take my Range Rover.”
 You roll your eyes and grimace.
 “Of course. You have a fucking Nespresso machine and a Range Rover. Asshole.”
 Namjoon doesn’t even think about it as he grabs your hand and laces his fingers in between yours. If anyone asked, he’d say it’s practice—to familiarize himself with the way your fingers slot between his own so it’s not such a foreign concept when he does it in front of his family.
 “Yeah, but I’m your asshole now, princess.”
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 Christmas shopping with Namjoon is mostly painless.
 Normally, you dread the lines and the crowds and the confusion and the expense.
 But with Namjoon, you relax and banter away with the tall lawyer. You’re completely at ease as you walk through crowded aisles and sort through racks of cashmere sweaters and stacks of fuzzy blankets.
 “Mom will love this, don’t you think?” Namjoon asks, holding up a thick, exquisite looking blanket.
 You’re about to answer with an affirmative when you catch yourself. You don’t even know his mom. You’ve never met the woman. Why does it feel as if Namjoon is someone you’ve known your entire life? 
 Why do things feel so easy with him?
 “Sure, Namjoon,” you reply. “Seems like something most mother’s would be into.”
 He smiles at you. It’s a genuine smile too, one that nearly knocks you on your ass. Your body is sent into overdrive constantly. He holds your hand, he places his hand at the small of your back to guide you through a thick crowd. He calls you baby and princess and doll.
 It’s confusing.
 It’s amazing.
 You can’t tell if you love it or hate it.
 Namjoon pushes the shopping cart and walks beside you, chatting easily about his various aunts and uncles names that you likely must remember at some point but you just can’t think about anything but Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon.
 You hate him. He stole that corner office from you. He’s going to take the promotion you want from right under your nose. He has a goddamn Nespresso in his office and a Range Rover. 
 And yet, you can’t help but fall in place next to him and listen to him tell stories of his childhood, weaving tales of uncles who snuck him his first sips of alcohol and aunts who spoil him rotten. He’s easy to listen to, a natural story-teller. Your body feels warm, as if you’re sitting on a large hearth by a roaring fire. He’s comforting.
 It’s infuriating and wonderful all at once. 
 “And that’s when my cousin Jungkook got caught smoking cigarettes. My grandma beat our ass so bad I couldn’t sit for a day.”
 Namjoon finishes his story and turns to look at you. You’ve been staring at the man for nearly a minute straight now.
 “Hey,” his voice is soft. “You listening?”
 You shake out of the trance Namjoon’s deep voice sends you into.
 “Yeah!” You reply with a smirk. “Sounds like this Jungkook is a guy I’d like to meet.”
 Namjoon sucks his teeth and nudges you.
 “Hey, you’re my girlfriend, remember.”
 You stick your tongue out at him playfully.
 “Fake girlfriend. I’m still a single, desirable lady at the end of the day.”
 Namjoon hesitates before answering. He wants to reply something snarky, something sarcastic and witty. But he takes a moment to pause, allows himself to fully immerse himself in you. Even hungover, in yesterday’s jeans and an old sweater, you’re still an absolute catch. You’re the definition of desirable and Namjoon can’t help but allow himself to desire.
 “Hmm, is that what you call it?” He asks, now allowing the sarcasm to permeate his words. “I was thinking you’re more of the spinster, cat-lady type.”
 “Hey!” You pout as you slap at his arm. “I’m allergic to cats!”
 “But you don’t deny being a spinster.”
 “Fuck you, Namjoon.”
 He grins and pushes the carts towards the candle aisle, a sure-fire gift for his aunties.
 “In due time, my love.”
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  By the time Christmas Eve arrives, you’ve spent nearly every day with Namjoon. At work, he brings you fresh coffee from his Nespresso and buys you lunch. You’ve even landed his big case, an incredibly complex lawsuit that will showcase your skills. Namjoon gives you pointers and space to talk through the case with him.
Namjoon is, in fact, simply being kind. And it unsettles you.
 Your heart and brain are at war with each other constantly. You should hate him, loathe him. He’s going to nail that promotion regardless of what you prove to Seokjin.
 But your heart tells you he deserves it. He’s an incredible attorney and has earned every ounce of respect. You want Namjoon to get that promotion just to see that smile on his face. He’d do incredible things as Seokjin’s protege to take over the firm.
 You hate to admit it, but Namjoon has melted the ice around your heart. And you’re dreading the day after all this is over, because it will be the day Namjoon stops holding you close and pressing soft kisses to your temple. It will be the day he stops pretending this is all real.
 It’s Christmas Eve and you’re sitting in Namjoon’s expensive Range Rover, plush leather seat toasty from the built-in seat warmer. You can’t help but marvel at the way the oncoming headlights brighten up Namjoon’s features as he drives you down a snowy mountain lane. They always hold the Kim family holiday party at Namjoon’s late grandfather’s cabin in the mountains, a quiet getaway for the family to gather and spend the night together to wake up on Christmas morning and gather around for presents and food.
 Which means waking up to Kim Namjoon.
 It’s something you’ve dreamt of often, but denied yourself any actual possibility of it. Namjoon was always out of reach, and it was easier to hate him for his success he rightfully deserved than it was to admit the feelings that were always inside.
 And now, although it’s artificial, you can’t bear to think of not spending your time with Namjoon anymore.
 You steal a glance again at him, and smile as you hear his faint humming. He loves Christmas music. You learned that early in the week during another early morning coffee and ‘get to know you’ before work. Namjoon couldn’t stop singing Mariah Carey’s classic pop song under his breath as it played over the speakers in the cafe. 
 “It’s so pretty up here,” you muse as you force your vision away from Namjoon’s gorgeous face to the snowy scenery outside. 
 The snow is falling gently, not enough to cause a blizzard but enough to make it seem like you’re trapped in a picturesque snow-globe. Leaving the city and entering the magical forest stirs an emotion inside you you hadn’t felt in some time.
 It’s Christmas Eve and there’s just something magical.
 Ugh. Unbelievable.
 Namjoon has even made you actually enjoy Christmas.
 He nods. “Yeah, it’s my favorite place in the world, I think.”
 “I can see why,” you sigh. “It looks like a painting.”
 Namjoon glances over at you peering through the window. His heart hammers in his chest hard as your glittering eyes bounce around from tree to tree, a pretty smile on your face. The diamond ring in his pocket feels like it weighs a literal ton and he nibbles at his lip.
 He bought it for the showmanship of it all, initially. It was his first purchase he made when he set up this whole rouse.
 But now, it feels real. It feels like he’s really about to get on one knee and ask you, the girl he’s absolutely head over heels for, to marry him.
 And then it will be over.
 He’ll make up some story to tell his mom about how it didn’t work out and you’ll go back to being his coworker, and nothing more.
 Namjoon can’t fight the sinking feeling in his stomach.
 Nothing more.
 He pulls into the driveway before you even have time to realize you’re there. He puts the car in park and smiles over at you. 
 He looks so cute in his puffy winter coat, hair pushed to the side and a smile that’s all dimples and cheeks.
 Fuck.
 “We’re here,” he whispers. “You ready?”
 Suddenly, the nerves of meeting your fake boyfriend’s entire family slap you right in the face. You hope that you’re a good enough actress to get Namjoon through the night and into the morning.
 “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
 He nods and squeezes your hand, an unspoken comforting ‘I got you’.
 Namjoon gathers his wrapped gifts and stacks them all in his arms, ignoring your pleas and giggles to help carry them in.
 “No, no,” he assures. “I have to make sure my mom sees me being manly and helpful.”
 As if on cue, the front door opens and Mrs. Kim is bursting out into the snowy night.
 “Namjoon!” She shrieks, completely overjoyed. The rest of the family is standing by the door, eyeing you carefully with smiles and whispers. You pray to whatever Christmas God that’s listening that you can do this.
 Namjoon sets the pile of gifts down just in time to wrap his delicate and tiny mother in his arms, hugging her tightly while she gleefully buries her face into her tall son’s chest.
 “Oh, my son, I’ve missed you.”
 Namjoon kisses the crown of her head and smiles.
 “Missed you too, eomma.”
 The scene has you misty-eyed and you swipe at your eyes to stop the tears. There’s no way you’re ruining the fantastic makeup you did for the occasion, but the reunion of Namjoon and his mother is heart-warming. He clearly cares for his mother more than he would outwardly admit. 
 Namjoon and his mother unwrap from each other and Namjoon turns towards you.
 “Everyone, this is ____,” he breathes. “My girlfriend.”
 His mother’s gleeful squeals now turn to you, and within an instant she’s gathering you up in just as tight of a hug as she did to her son.
 “Oh, darling, we are so happy to meet you,” she beams.
 The excitement in her voice makes you feel bad—like you’re conning an old woman out of her retirement. You’re instilling a sense of hope in the kind woman, and you can’t help but send Namjoon a look as you wrap your arms around her and return the embrace. His eyes sparkle with something you can’t read.
 “I’m happy to meet you too,” you smile as you pull apart. “Thank you for letting me come.”
 “No thanks necessary,” she admonishes with a wink. “We had to beg Namjoon to bring you. It seems he wants to keep you all to himself.”
 “Eomma!” Namjoon snaps. “Be appropriate!”
 She nudges you with her elbow knowingly, which makes your cheeks flame hot, before she leads the way back into the house.
 “Come in, come in! Let’s get out of this snow.”
 Namjoon encourages you to step inside with a gentle hand at the small of your back—a touch that makes your body light up brighter than a Christmas tree.
 “Thank you,” he whispers in your ear from behind. You can feel the warmth of his lips and your body reacts.
How is it that any simple act makes you desperately horny for the man? You pray for some respite from your sexual frustration over the next day. How are you going to last over 24 hours?
 Namjoon deposits his massive haul of gifts under the tree and returns to your side, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to bring you close. He introduces you to uncles and aunts and cousins. He even introduces you to his infamous cousin, Jungkook, who smirks at you in a way that makes Namjoon pull you in closer to his body.
 “Are you doing okay?” Namjoon finally asks after the rush of relatives greeting you dies down. He turns you towards him, to face him directly with his hands on either of your shoulders. “You’re killing it.”
 You can’t help but smile. Namjoon’s family is all incredibly kind and funny. They welcome you into the family with ease and it chips away a little more each time at your heart.
 Because this is all fake. 
 One day, Namjoon really will have a girlfriend to bring to Christmas and to show off to his relatives and it won’t be you. You’ll be back at your apartment, watching shitty TV re-runs and binging on Chinese takeout, as you do every year. It’s a jab at your heart each time the bitter truth rears its ugly head.
 “Yeah,” you nod. “I’m great.”
 “Look!” Jungkook shouts. “They’re standing under the mistletoe!”
 Namjoon blushes a shade of red that likely matches a blush on your own cheeks. Sure enough, the green branches of the mistletoe taunt you from above. 
 You’ve never kissed Namjoon before. In all the skinship and closeness of the last week, you’ve still yet to close the gap to kissing the man. 
 “Oh, come on Kook, that’s a stupid tradition,” Namjoon murmurs awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck.
 Jungkook smirks as he steps up next to you.
 “Well, if you’re not going to do it, I’d be more than happy to take your place.”
 Jungkook wraps a loose arm around you and gives you a charming smile. He must be very popular with the ladies, you think. That’s a charming smile.
 “Hey!” Namjoon grabs for your hand and tugs you out of Jungkook’s predatory gaze. “She’s my girlfriend.”
 Namjoon looks at you for a moment, assessing your comfort level with everything about to take place. His lips look so inviting, so plush and warm. Now that you’re thinking about kissing him, you can’t help but focus on the way his lips pucker so gently and naturally.
 And then it happens. Namjoon lowers his face towards you and it feels as if the world is in slow-motion. It’s happening.
 The first press of his lips is soft and conservative. You take a split second to register, but instinctively you press against his lips with determination and wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.
 He groans softly as you trail your tongue out to seek purchase in his mouth, and he opens for you without hesitation. His hands grip at your waist and bring your body flush against his. You can feel his cock twitching and rising from the kiss that’s gone from innocent and playful to passionate and deep. It feels like the world around you has stopped and the only thing that matters is Namjoon, his mouth, his body against your own. He tastes like hot chocolate and peppermint, and you want more, more.
 “Oh my god, stop,” Jungkook’s voice shatters your illusion of being all alone with Namjoon. “Now you’re just showing off.”
 Namjoon pulls away from you, eyes dazed as he tries to right himself. 
 “You two are just so perfect for each other,” Namjoon’s mother says, who’s suddenly appeared in Jungkook’s place. “Let me show you your bedroom.”
 “Oh, we’re sharing?” You ask without thought. It’s a large house, with ample bedrooms surely for you to have your own space.
 Namjoon nudges you in the ribs gently, eyes widening and mouthing a ‘what the fuck do you mean?’ 
 “Of course dear, don’t be silly,” his mother replies with an eyebrow waggle and a chuckle. “I remember when your father and I were dating. He would sneak into my room after my parents went to bed and keep me up all night long. Your grandfather would ask me if I had terrible dreams that night, because I looked so tired.”
 Namjoon makes a face. “Eomma, please,” he begs. “Please don’t talk about my parents like that.”
 As his mother guides you down a long hallway, your mind is whirring with too many thoughts of Namjoon, of sharing a bedroom with Namjoon, of seeing his sleeping face and waking up next to him. It’s all too much, too overwhelming. You pray there’s a couch in the room you could sleep on, because you’re far too weak and you’d rather fight the desperation in your body than face the fact that you want nothing more than to curl right into Namjoon’s strong arms and let him hold you all night to sleep.
 Fuck.
 “Here we are!” 
 His mother opens the door with grace, and flicks on the light. The room is beautiful in its simplicity. A king sized bed, a fireplace, and a balcony with a view of the sprawling snowy scene outside. It’s cozy and warm and decorated with its own Christmas tree.
 “Wow,” is all you can muster.
 “Aish, Mom,” Namjoon sighs as he drops his bags. “You didn’t need to do all of this for us.”
 Mrs. Kim holds his hand in both of hers. “Well, I know how special this Christmas is going to be,” she winks. “I want you to enjoy your time here. Now, I’ll leave you two alone for a bit. Dinner is in an hour, so ‘freshen up’!”
Another wink, and Namjoon makes another face. She definitely wants grandchildren, that much is for certain.
 She closes the door behind her and you’re left standing in the room, overnight bag in hand.
 “This is—Wow, this is amazing.”
 You’ve never experienced Christmas like this—with decorations and warmth and family. It’s as if the love of the Kim family permeates the very walls of the expansive cabin, like it’s built into the foundation itself. For a moment, you allow yourself to soak it all in. This is all yours. It’s your Christmas and you finally understand why so many make such a fuss over it. The results are nothing short of remarkable.
 “Yeah, she really does the most,” Namjoon laughs. 
 He takes the bag from your hand without your notice and you step towards the balcony to peer into the night. The landscape looks as if everything has been covered in soft marshmallow. The snow is untouched—picture perfect.
 “I’ve never had anything like this before.”
 Namjoon settles your bag and his on the bed, watching as you soak in your own wonder. The smile on your face is not one he sees often, one of pure joy. Namjoon swallows hard as he realizes he wants to be the one to always put that smile on your face.
 “Not such a Scrooge after all, eh?”
 You turn from the still-life view outside and back to Namjoon, where he stands at the foot of the bed. He looks so different outside the office. He’s wearing skinny jeans and a flannel shirt, his puffy jacket hanging by the door. No cream suit, no slicked back hair or shoes shiny enough to see your reflection. Just simply Namjoon.
 He’s no longer the man who steals the limelight in the office. He’s no longer the man you see as your adversary or your rival.
 He’s the man who’s showing you the magic of Christmas, the spirit of love and kindness that embodies the season.
 He’s the man you’ve fallen in love with.
 And yet, he’s the man who will leave once this is over and return to his proper life, and you to yours. He’ll return to sleeping with models and movie starlets, and you’ll return to binge watching Great British Bake-Off with Jimin and a carton of Chicken Tikka Masala.
 And Christmas will never feel as special as it does now. 
 So, you’re determined to soak in it for a little longer. It’s going to hurt regardless, so why not push that hurt off until tomorrow and allow yourself to pretend you live the lie you’re spinning for Namjoon’s family?
 “I think I’ll just freshen up and change into my dinner outfit, then?” You ask out loud, grabbing for your overnight bag and heading towards the ensuite.
 Namjoon, who expected a witty retort, takes a moment to reply.
 “Oh,” he coughs. “Yeah, sure. I’ll err—, I’ll just get ready out here.”
 You quickly escape into the bathroom, closing the door and resting on it as you exhale a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
 The tension in the bedroom with Namjoon was too thick, too powerful, especially after the kiss you just shared. His cock had been there, straining in his jeans as you licked into his mouth. The kiss felt so natural, as if you had always kissed Namjoon like that. Your heart beats loud and hard in your chest just from the thought of it.
 You really needed to get a handle over yourself. You still have dinner to get through, and an entire night in a bedroom with Namjoon. A bed with Namjoon.
 No, you won’t allow yourself to go that far. You can pretend you’re his girlfriend, but all thoughts of his delectable body doing scintillating things to yours is strictly off-limits. You shake all thoughts of a thick, heavy cock sliding into your mouth and warm hands spreading you open, and set about fixing your makeup and changing into the gorgeous cocktail dress you purchased for the occasion. It wasn’t often you got to get dressed up. The emerald green velvet dress clings to your body and highlights your curves. It’s a sexy dress, definitely, but also appropriate for a formal evening with your boyfriend’s parents.
 Well, your fake boyfriend. Right.
 After fixing your hair and buckling your heels, you take one last glimpse in the mirror for good luck and exit the room.
 Your breath is nearly knocked out of your lungs as you see Namjoon. 
You’ve seen him dressed up for court and for TV appearances millions of times, but you’ve never seen him like this.
 He wears a blood red button up without a tie, a few buttons open to emphasize the casual look, tucked into the tightest and sexiest slacks you’ve ever seen. They hug his thighs and sit at a spot on his waist that you just know is rippling with cut lines from his work in the gym. His hair is tucked back with a bit of hairspray, and he’s fixing the sleeves of his shirt when he sees you.
 His eyes widen and his hands fall to his sides as he soaks in your appearance.
 An absolute vision.
 He can see the gentle valley between your breasts and the way your dress pushes up your cleavage and displays your collar.  The dress follows the delicate curve of your waist and hips and ends at your knee, but teases him with a glimpse of thigh that has him wiping his mouth in case he’s drooling. 
 “You look incredible,” Namjoon murmurs as you step closer.
“So do you.”
 You swallow hard as he continues closer to you, breathing harshly as he stands right in front of you. You could reach out and unbuckle his expensive slacks and fist his cock right there. You’d fall on your knees for him, if he asked.
 There’s a moment of silence as Namjoon’s face inches closer and closer to your own, each unable to verbalize just how desperate either of you feel for the other.
 “Namjoon, I—,” you start. You want to tell him. You want to tell him everything—that you don’t want this to be fake, that you want this to be real, and you want to be his and his forever.
 “Yes?”
 You swallow hard, shaken by just how close his lips are to yours. He’s inches away and all you can focus on is the way his plush lips look and how well they fit against your own under the mistletoe.
 “I just—, I really um, I’m just very…” 
 You’re not making sense. Comprehension of language is quickly soaring out the window because the only words you know are ‘Please, for the love of God, kiss me and make me yours’, but you can’t bring yourself to speak them out loud.
 Namjoon’s hand cups your cheek, as if he can tell what you’re trying to say.
 “Yeah,” he breathes. The inches between you turn to centimeters, to bare millimeters. Your eyes flutter close as you feel his breath dance over your lips and your heart beats so loud you’re sure the entire household can hear it. He’s right there and moves in to close the distance—
 “Knock Knock!!”
 The forceful, cheery voice of cousin Jungkook forces both of you to jump away from each other as if you’ve touched a burning stove. Your head feels light, like you’ve forgotten to breathe for the last ten minutes and you’ve suddenly taken in too much air.
 The wooden door squeaks open and Jungkook pokes his head in, a shit-eating grin on his face.
 “Auntie sent me to get you. It’s dinnertime!”
 Namjoon rubs his face frustratedly. “Yes, thank you, Jungkook.”
 Jungkook doesn’t leave, however. He smiles at you and winks. 
“Would you like an escort to dinner, madame? You look tastier than the roast beef downstairs.”
 A blush creeps over your cheeks as Namjoon storms to the door where his cousin laughs.
 “That’s enough, Kook. We’ll be down in a minute.”
 He sends you one more grin, then retreats from the door and closes it behind him.
 “Sorry about that,” Namjoon apologizes. You’re not sure what he’s apologizing for—Jungkook, or the moment before.
 “It’s alright. Let’s go?”
 Namjoon nods and holds out his hand with a smile.
 “Let’s go, girlfriend.”
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  Dinner with the Kim family is as delightful as every other interaction with them has been. They’re polite and funny and ask questions about your life and your family.
 They ask how you met Namjoon (at work), what your favorite quality about him is (his smile and his ass), and what your first date together was (coffee at seven in the morning).
 You tell stories of Namjoon in the office, of your best friend Park Jimin who’s secretly trying to date the IT manager, of your parents and Christmases past.
 By the time dessert is served, Namjoon’s mother looks at you as if you’ve put the very stars in the sky.
 Namjoon doesn’t miss that look either. He can see the way his family is falling in love with you and somewhere deep in his stomach, he feels the guilt rising. All of this is a lie. Not only is he going to break his own heart, but every heart of his family member’s too. 
 “We’re all just so overjoyed that Namjoon has found someone to share his life with,” his mom speaks softly. It’s the first time she’s been thoughtful and quiet. She’s a woman who’s larger than life, you’ve found, so the softness in her tone strikes a chord. “You’re absolutely perfect for him. I’ve never seen him happier.”
 Fuck. 
 “Thank you,” you murmur sincerely to his mother. “I’ve never been happier.”
 Namjoon peers up from where he’s been pushing around his uncle’s famous chocolate cake on his plate to watch as you speak.
 “Truthfully, I never cared much for Christmas. I thought it was a rubbish holiday and spent it alone every year with a bottle of wine and some takeout. Namjoon really changed that for me,” you smile at the man and place your hand in his lap to hold his free hand. “He showed me more about Christmas in one week than I’ve felt in my entire life.”
 Namjoon’s mom wipes away an errant tear and he squeezes your hand under the table.
 “I guess the Grinch’s heart has grown 3 sizes, after all.”
 Namjoon’s joke lightens the soft mood, and suddenly there’s chatter around as the family members move about to wash dishes and clean up the mess of dinner. Everyone leaves the table except for you and Namjoon.
 “That was some good acting,” he whispers with a sad smile.
 “Right,” you whisper back, nibbling your lip anxiously. “Acting, of course.”
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  You should have thought through the bedroom sharing thing more.
 Because sharing a bedroom is one thing.
 And sharing a bed is another.
 And of course, the only pajamas you thought to bring tonight is a very sexy long shirt that says “no coffee, no talking” with a bedazzled pair of shushing lips. That’s it. Just a single shirt. Not even a pair of shorts or pajama pants.
 You slip into the bed first, as far onto one side of it as possible. It’s a king sized bed, and it still feels too intimate, too close.
 Namjoon exits the bathroom after his shower, rubbing at his wet hair with a towel. He’s shirtless, wearing only a pair of flannel pajamas, leaving his bare chest on display.
 Sweet lord in heaven, you nearly cry out loud. He’s absolutely ripped, pecs defined and droplets of water from his hair streaming down. You want to chase each drop with your tongue and circle back again. You shut your eyes tight and clench your teeth. Why, oh why, does he have to look so fucking sexy at a time like this?
 Namjoon sees you at the edge of the bed, shutting your eyes closed like you’re a shy schoolgirl afraid to see a naked man’s body. He feels guilty for making you be here. He knows you’ve likely got better things to do than spend time with a man you openly hate.
 “I’m sorry,” he apologizes for nothing in particular. 
 You ignore it. Instead, you’re trying to think of every un-sexy thing in the world you can possibly imagine. Taxes, a bunch of bees, old people, shark attacks.
 There’s absolutely nothing that can stop the image of Namjoon’s perfectly sculpted body from bursting into your mind. You’re nearly pleading with yourself to just go to sleep and contemplate how hard you’d need to hit your head to knock yourself out as fast as possible.
 “I’ll sleep on the floor,” he says as he grabs a small throw blanket from the closet and throws it to the ground by the fire.
 It snaps you from your musings of how best to forget how badly you want to suck Namjoon’s cock through his pajama pants.
 “What?” You sit up in the posh bed and finally make eye-contact. “Why? It’s freezing. There’s a literal snowstorm outside.” You motion to the window of the balcony. What was once a gentle snowfall is now a full-on winter storm.
 “There’s a fire. I’ll be fine, I sleep hot anyway.” Namjoon’s voice is low and without energy. He almost sounds sad.
 God, is being with you that hard for him? You know you’re just the artificial replacement until he has the real thing, but you’d actually hoped Namjoon had found it as comforting and warm as you had.
 “Namjoon,” you sigh. “This is a king-sized bed. You don’t need to be waking up with back pain because you gallantly slept on the floor.”
 To emphasize your point, you tug back the blankets on the other side, beckoning him to join.
 He hesitates for a moment, as if he’s weighing the pro’s and con’s and sliding into bed next to you in his mind, then stands and pads his way on the plush carpet towards the bed and slips in.
 There’s an entire football field of distance between you two in the bed, but it feels like he’s right beside you. You imagine sliding in right next to him, wrapping your arms around his taut chest and pressing soft kisses to his stomach.
 You squeeze your eyes closed again. Stop it, you horny slut.
 “Thank you, again.” Namjoon breaks the silence. “I really appreciate you helping me out.”
 “Yeah,” you swallow hard. “Of course. What else was I going to do? Jimin’s probably sucking Yoongi’s dick right now, so I’d be watching baking shows alone.”
 Namjoon laughs for a moment, then quiets.
 “You know, I don’t even really want that promotion at work.”
 You’re surprised by the sudden change in topic, but you turn over to face Namjoon.
“What?! Really?”
 Namjoon nods and stares at the ceiling. “I don’t think I’m that good of an attorney to get it, anyway.”
 His statement makes you sit up in bed again, staring at the man in disbelief.
 “Are you fucking kidding me, Namjoon? You’re the best lawyer in the firm.”
 Namjoon says nothing, just turns to stare at you curiously as you continue.
 “You’re like… literally better than Seokjin, too. The way you handled the Taehyung case was nothing short of historical. Like, that was an impossible case, and you nailed it. That was your ‘OJ’ case, you know?”
 Namjoon barks a laugh.
 “My what?”
 “Your OJ case!” You use your hands to emphasize the importance of what you’re saying. “Like, they’ll write about you and how impossible the odds were of winning that case. And you won it! Not even Seokjin could have won that case.”
 He’s silent again, watching as you speak directly from your heart with all the fire and passion you feel about the things you care about. It’s what makes you such an incredible lawyer, too.
 “Wow,” he breathes. “Thank you.”
 You settle back down from your excitement, suddenly bashful at how fanatical you became.  
 “You’re welcome,” you murmur. “You deserve that promotion. And the office.”
 Namjoon smirks.
 “And the Nespresso?”
 Your eyes narrow and send a glare to him he can see even with the faintest of light in the room.
 “No, no one deserves the Nespresso, except for me.”
 He chuckles and settles down into his pillows.
 “Goodnight,” he whispers.
 “Goodnight, Namjoon.”
 There’s a beat of silence and your eyes flutter shut easily. It’s quiet, and all you can hear is the crackle of the log in the fireplace and the wind blowing past the balcony windows as the storm outside rages.
 “Oh,” Namjoon whispers again. “And, Merry Christmas.”
 You can’t fight the smile that creeps onto your face.
 “Merry Christmas, Joonie.”
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  “Happy Christmas!” A voice bellows through your bedroom at approximately seven fifteen am.
 You groan, immediately grimacing and burying your face into your firm, warm pillow.
 “Nooooo,” you whine, trying to hide from the offending noise.
 Namjoon shakes awake, and notices Jungkook standing at the bedroom door once again.
“It’s time for presents!” He giddily explains. “And, they gave me the job of waking you two up.”
 “Of course,” Namjoon yawns.
 “You look a little wrapped up,” Jungkook smirks, eyeing your sleeping body. “I’ll give you two a minute. Don’t get distracted.”
 Namjoon rolls his eyes and watches as the door closes, before he turns his attention towards you.
 Somehow, in the middle of the night, you’ve scooched yourself to his side of the bed and draped your body around his. Your face is buried in his chest and your legs are haphazardly intertwined in his own.
 He bites his lip. His cock is rock solid, not just from his usual morning wood, but from the way he can feel your tits through your shirt, and from the sight of your pink panties. Namjoon wants to take them off with his teeth and bury his face in your delicious cunt, and his cock is nearly screaming at him to get on with it.
 “Hey,” he whispers to you, actively ignoring the demon that is his turgid length. “Wake up.”
 This causes you to cling harder to his chest, rubbing your sleepy face on him.
 “What is it with you and early mornings?” You ask, blearily raising your head to peer at him judgementally.
 Namjoon bites his lip, curious about your reaction to the tight embrace you’ve got on him. He doesn’t want to say anything, doesn’t want to break the spell. Frankly, he wants to push your sleep shirt up and stuff you full of his cum.
 “Merry Christmas?” He offers shyly.
 You take a full minute to recognize what’s happening.
 You’re no longer on your edge of the bed. You’re wrapped around the man like a koala, legs strewn over him without care and clinging to him like he’s a lifeline.
 “Oh!” You gasp as you jerk out of his grasp. 
 In your movement, your leg brushes over an obvious tent in Namjoon’s pants, making him groan softly. You shut your eyes, embarrassed at how disgustingly horny you are for the man who’s not even interested in you sexually.
 “Christ, I’m so sorry,” your cheeks flame bright red and you scoot further from him.
 “No, no, don’t be,” Namjoon wheezes as he tries to fix himself. “It’s fine. It’s more than fine. It’s great. It happens. Don’t worry.”
 He continues to stammer out reassurances as he leaves the bed and bolts into the bathroom to fix his unruly tented pants, leaving you sitting atop the bed washed with shame.
 “Fucking hell,” you whisper to yourself as you rub at your cheeks. “Get a grip of yourself.”
 Inside the bathroom, it only takes Namjoon a few fisted jerks of his cock and the mental image of you beneath him, begging for him, until he’s silently cumming on an expensive towel. He bites his free hand to stifle the moans he makes as his cock pulses.
 By the time he arrives back in the bedroom, you’ve changed into a hoodie and yoga leggings that accentuate your ass so delectably that Namjoon thinks about turning right back into the bathroom for a second round.
 “I’m sorry!” You nearly shout when he walks into the room. “About the bed. You were warm and I was cold. That’s all.”
 Nmajoon simply nods, doesn’t want to have to explain how he wishes he could wake up like that every day. Doesn’t want to describe in vivid detail how he’d wake you up with his tongue buried deep in your cunt.
 “Let me grab a shirt and we’ll head out, yeah?”
 Your eyes dance over the defined ridges of his body, a little crest-fallen at the idea that this might be the last time you see him shirtless, but you nod anyway.
 “Yeah.”
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The ring box sits in a deceptively large box beneath the tree. Namjoon wrapped it last night and hide it at the very back. His heartbeat hammers in his ears as his family passes around gifts and opens each with squeals of delight.
 His mother gave him new ties for the office, ones that Namjoon prefers. She’s even gifted you with jewelry, which makes your eyes water at the sentiment.
 It all begins to be too much. It’s harder and harder to hold back the tears as each of Namjoon’s family members gives you gifts. It doesn’t matter the value, not at all. The fact that they specifically set out to include you in their gift-unwrapping makes your heart snap in two.
 This is all too much, it’s too real.
 It’s everything you never dreamed you could have. A loving partner who lets you sit in the space of his legs and rubs your arms soothingly. A family who goes out of their way to include you in the abundance of love and company. A cabin so warm and cozy.
 The tears don’t stop.
 It’s at the end of the gift exchange that you finally allow yourself to breathe. 
 “There’s one more,” Namjoon whispers as he moves from behind you and fetches a large box from behind the tree. “It’s for you, princess.”
 Curiously, and suspiciously, you eye him as he sets the enormous gift in your lap. You had done nearly all his Christmas shopping with him, and can’t remember a single thing he would have gotten for you.
 “I hope it’s the Nespresso from your office,” you snark with a smile. His family members all laugh and exchange knowing looks to each other.
 Namjoon doesn’t think he can breathe. He watches as you begin to carefully unwrap the large box, which reveals another box, slightly smaller. He can’t help but grin as you continue to unwrap the nesting-doll style gift until you’re down to the smallest one, the one that holds the ring box.
 With one last tear of paper, your eyes widen as you recognize the velvet box.
 “Oh--,” you breathe as you delicately pry open the gift.
 Inside sits a dazzling and gorgeous diamond ring. It catches the light from the fire and sparkles like a firecracker.
 “Oh my god,” you whimper as the tears flow again.
 He’s proposing.
 Namjoon settles himself onto one knee and tucks an errant piece of hair behind your ears.
 “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I knew from day one that you were always the girl I wanted to marry,”
 Namjoon’s speech sends daggers to your heart. He’s so convincing for something so counterfeit. 
 “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, much longer than we’ve been together. You’re who I want to come home to every night, and who I want to wake up with every morning.”
 It hurts. It hurts so badly that you’re crying even harder as he continues to speak. His family must think you’re simply overcome with emotion and love that the crying doesn’t give it away, but inside you’re absolutely dying.
 There’s no way you can recover from this.
 Tomorrow, Namjoon will take the ring back to where he got it from and return to what he had before. He’ll leave you behind, broken and hopelessly in love with a man who faked a relationship so well that you fell for it, hard.
 “____, will you marry me?”
 You take several large, gulping gasps to reply. You can’t shatter the illusion. Namjoon’s parents are weeping with joy, while his relatives record the moment on their phones and wipe away errant tears. Even Jungkook looks soft, proud of his cousin for taking the next step in his life.
 Oh, how you wish this were all real.
 “Yes,” you lie with a smile. “Yes, Namjoon, of course!”
 Namjoon grins and pulls you to standing, gathering you in his arms as he hugs you tight. His family cheers and hollers in the background, and you sob into his shoulder as you cling to him.
 He easily slides the diamond ring out of the box and onto your finger, where it sits and taunts you. The weight is heavy, and you whimper at the realization that this will never be for you. It will sit atop a pretty model’s finger sometime soon, when Namjoon resumes his regular life.
 “Oh, my darlings, I am so happy for you!” Namjoon’s mother appears and wraps you both in a hug, weeping and kissing cheeks. “We must discuss planning!”
 It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The tears and weeping turn to wracking sobs, which quiets the family as they watch you hold your face in your hands.
 “I’m sorry,” you apologize through your grief. “I—I just need a moment.”
 Without another word, you turn from the scene and bolt back towards the bedroom.
 It’s silent and Namjoon’s heart sinks. 
 This must be too much for you, too much for you to pretend to love him. He knew it was too much and he should have discussed it with you beforehand.
 “She’s just a little err--,” Namjoon tries. “Easily emotional. I’ll go check on her.”
 His family understands as Namjoon hurries towards the bedroom and gently opens the door.
 You’re sitting over your overnight bag, trying to shove any clothing into it you can, while you sob openly.
 “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I should have told you. I sort of... told my mom I’d be proposing to my girlfriend.”
 There’s pain in your eyes as you snap your head up to look at him. It nearly destroys him.
 “You should have warned me!” You gasp. “Namjoon, I can’t do this.”
 Namjoon lowers his head and shoves his hands into his pockets of his pajama pants.
 “I get it. I know you want to go back to your regular life. I can take you home now.”
 You’re silent for a moment, standing and moving towards the man.
 “Don’t you get it, Namjoon?”
 He raises his head to look at you curiously, brow knitted together with confusion.
 “I’m in love with you, you asshole!” You cry, pushing at his chest. “I can’t continue to pretend this is real anymore. I love you, I absolutely love you and I can’t go on watching you pretend you love me too. It’s too much for me to handle.”
 Namjoon’s world freezes in time as he watches you slide the ring off your finger. He grasps your hand to stop you, his eyes boring into your own.
 “I never had to pretend.”
 Before you can speak, Namjoon cups your cheek and pulls you in close, mouth sealing over your own in a desperate kiss.
 You don’t fight it, not at all. You sink into his grasp and kiss him back with fervor, with all the pent-up emotions you’ve held back all this time.
 “I’m in love with you,” he whispers as he pulls away from the kiss. “I meant every single word I said.”
 More tears stream down your cheeks, and Namjoon is quick to wipe them away with his thumb.
 “I know it’s maybe too soon for us to really be engaged, but I—I want that, with you,” he adds. “I want you to be my girlfriend… for real.”
 “Are you being serious right now?” You ask as your hands cling to Namjoon’s waist.
 He can’t help but to laugh, nodding in reassurance as he leans down to press his lips to yours in a tender kiss.
 “Never been more serious in my life.”
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 “I can’t believe you’re mine,” Joon murmurs into the nape of your neck.
 You were supposed to be driving home to your apartment now, back to real life, but the snowstorm raged on and Namjoon decided it might be best to spend yet another night in the cabin. Together. As a couple. A real couple.
 You didn’t put up much of a fight.
 He’s pressing soft kisses into your tender skin as he closes the door to the bedroom.
  “All mine, all mine.” He chants it like a mantra. 
 You’re trying to maneuver your way into the dark bedroom, only guided by the light from the fireplace. Namjoon stops you and pulls away from your neck, eyes soaking in every inch of you.
 “You have no idea what I’ve been dying to do to you,” he speaks after a moment of appreciating your beauty.
 “Hmm, I think I have some idea,” you say, a finger at Namjoon’s chest, directing him towards the bed. “I’ve been dying to suck your cock, Joon,” you whisper in his ear as he makes his way backwards. “Will you let me?”
 Namjoon nods in a daze as he sits on the edge of the bed and watches as you kneel. Your eyes are full of hope, full of lust. It makes his cock harden further.
 “Please do,” he breathes. “I’ve wondered what you’d look like with your mouth full of my dick.”
 You smile as you tug at his flannel pajama pants, pulling them down thick thighs and calves until they’re completely off. Your mouth waters at the sight before you. Namjoon’s cock is thick, head weeping with pre-cum and straining hard against his taut chest. He’s been working out more, you can tell. His arms are full and strong, and his chest is so firm and defined. 
 He’s an entire three-course meal.
 Before you move closer to his cock, Namjoon stops you.
 “Take your shirt off.”
 You comply easily, already settling well into an obedient role. He discards the shirt to the side and marvels at your breasts. He can’t wait to mark them up, suck them until you’re crying.
 “Perfect,” he sighs. “You’re fucking perfect.”
 He allows you to resume your work, eyeing the length of his cock before wrapping a hand around it and gently pumping.
 “Shit,” he breathes as his head falls back. “I’ve dreamt about how it’d feel having my cock in your hands.”
 “What else have you dreamed about?” You ask with a teasing smile, bringing your lips to the tip to paint tiny stripes. He tastes salty, somewhat earthy, and the pre-cum that’s gathered at the top gets swept up by your tongue. 
 Namjoon can’t believe how lucky he is. Can’t believe how incredible it feels to have you here, licking at his cock like a lollipop. He’s enchanted by the way your delicate tongue swirls around his head, testing and teasing.
 “You look so good, princess,” he whispers as he tucks stray hair behind your ears. 
 You’re encouraged by his sweet-talk and soon descend to take his cock fully in as far as you can go. You’re definitely out of practice, but you steel yourself up to take him completely to the back of your throat. Namjoon’s desperate moans and cursing only encourages you further.
 Soon enough, you’ve started a rhythm of bobbing your head and swirling your tongue and pumping your hand down his thick length. The noises leaving your mouth are sinful—slurping and sucking and whining around him. Namjoon’s got a hand on the back of your head, holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail and coaxing your bouncing head further down his cock.
 “Oh, shit, baby,” he grits through a tight jaw. “I’m gonna cum baby girl, fuuuuckkk—oh god, yes baby, just like that.”
 You slurp and swallow around his cock as much as you can, head bobbing at a frantic pace while you cast your eyes upwards to the man to watch him come apart. He meets your eye contact and loses it at the fire burning in your beautiful eyes.
 “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he gasps as his cock pulses. “Cumming, baby—ohhhh, shit, take it all, baby.”
 After slowing your pace completely, you sweetly moan around his length as his salty cum splatters on your tongue. Bringing Namjoon to climax with your mouth is already one of your favorite hobbies, and you’re desperate to do it again.
 When he’s completely spent in your mouth, you pop off carefully and present your tongue to your boyfriend, who smiles.
 “You gonna swallow my cum, baby girl?” He asks, cupping your cheek sweetly.
 You nod in reply, and he groans as he watches you close your mouth and visibly swallow his load.
 “Fuck, that was so hot. Fucking kiss me already,” he demands, pulling you up gently by the hand and pressing his mouth to yours. He doesn’t care if he can taste himself still lingering in your mouth. In fact, he thinks your mouth should always taste like him.
 Namjoon holds you close as he kisses you, tongue diving around and seeking purchase in your mouth. His hands are roaming your body, cupping your breasts and caressing your curves. He can’t get enough. He doesn’t think there will come a time in his life when he won’t love touching you.
 His hand smoothes over the satin of your panties and he smirks into the kiss as he feels how wet they are.
 “Oh my,” he tuts as he rubs at your clothed slit. “All this from sucking my cock, princess?”
 It’s too late to be ashamed of it. You simply nod and whimper as his thick fingers rub at your core. You’re dying to feel those fingers inside you, scissoring you open to prepare you for his massive cock.
 “P-please,” you gasp, needing more of him. “Please, Joon.”
 He lets out a breath of contentment, loving the way his name sounds in your breathy moans. In one quick swoop, he flings your panties off and onto the floor and slides down to his knees where you knelt moments before.
 “I want to see this pretty pussy up close,” he murmurs as he lays you out at the edge and spreads open your thighs as wide as he can. 
 You’re gorgeous, absolutely mouth-watering. He licks his lips as he watches your folds drip with arousal and takes a delicate finger to trace the slit gently.
 “Fuck,” you gasp as he swirls his finger around your sensitive clit. It’s been so long since someone else has made you orgasm, you’re sure you won’t last a second with the man of your sexual dreams face-first in your cunt.
 “This is my pussy now,” he states as he leans in close and licks a fat stripe from your hole to your clit. “I’m going to make you cum every fucking night, baby. Gonna claim this cunt as my own.”
 You’re trembling from his words and his actions as he soon buries his face into your pussy and eats as if he’s a man starved. His tongue swirls around your hole before swiping up to your clit, making your back arch and keen off the bed. His lips wrap around your throbbing clit and sucks gently, lewd noises echoing off the walls of the bedroom.
 “Namjoon!” You squeal as he slides two of his fingers inside you and slowly pumps. They’re thick and perfect, and they’re better than you could have ever dreamed.
 “Cum for me, baby,” he coaxes as he licks at your clit. “I know you want to.”
 He’s right. You’re desperate for it and the string inside your belly that tightens with each thrust of his solid fingers has it nearing a snapping point.
 Namjoon speeds up, adds a third finger and fucks into you like a man on a mission. He watches your face pinch in agonized delight and is hypnotized by the way your tits bounce with each thrust up. His cock is rock solid again, aching to bury itself deep inside your womb and coat you with his cum.
 “That’s it, baby girl,” he breathes as he watches your body quiver. “Cum on my fingers, let daddy see you fall apart.”
 He presses his lips to your clit one last time and sucks, and it sends you reeling over the edge into bliss. Namjoon moans as he feels your cunt convulse and squeeze his fingers as if they’re his cock, and he nearly whines at how good it’s going to feel when he’s balls deep inside of you.
 “Fuck!” You cry as your back lifts off the bed and your legs shake. “Oh, my god!”
 Namjoon kitten licks at your pussy as you come down, cleaning up the juices that coat his fingers. He doesn’t break eye contact with you as he does it, sucking up your essence like it’s an expensive wine he won’t waste a drop of.
 “You’re so fucking sexy,” he says as you try to catch your breath. “I can’t wait to fuck you in my office.”
 The smile on your face turns lustful as you spread your legs open once again and present yourself to him.
 “Why don’t we practice right now?”
 Namjoon grips the base of his cock and gives himself a few pumps as he stares at your gorgeous body—laid out and ready for him.
 “Merry Christmas to me,” he murmurs as he presses a kiss to your lips and lines himself up.
 In one swift motion, he slips inside your juicy channel and buries himself to the hilt. You’re so wet and warm and tight that Namjoon falters and groans out loud.
 “Holy shit,” he cries. “Sweetest fucking pussy I’ve ever felt in my life.”
 Namjoon filling you up to the brim is something you’ve only ever dreamt of, and now that it’s happening you feel intoxicated. He’s so thick inside you, stretching you past what you thought you could handle, and the burn is so sweet.
 “Fuck me, Joon,” you beg as he continues to still inside you. “Please, fuck me, daddy.”
 It’s the magic word for Namjoon and instantly he’s snapped back to feral, ready to claim you as his own. He grips your hips tightly as he pumps in and out of you, delighted by the squelching juicy sounds of your cunt as he takes you.
 “That’s right, baby girl, I’m your fucking daddy,” he grunts. “Take this fat cock for daddy.”
 Your legs quiver with each thrust and Namjoon sucks a nipple into his mouth, nibbling gently on the bud which makes your body thrum with electricity. He’s marking you, claiming you inside and out, you realize. You whine and keen for him to continue, and Namjoon growls as he doubles his pace. 
 He thrusts into you without abandon, desperately seeking his release that will have him spilling his cum anywhere he possibly can.
 “Mmm, look at my pretty princess,” he groans as he stares at your blissed-out face. “Taking daddy’s cock so good, being a perfect little slut.”
 His words make your eyes roll back into your head. You’d never had someone speak so nasty to you while being so kind and praise-worthy that you don’t think you can now ever live without it.
 “G-gonna cum, daddy!” you cry as you feel your body nearing the edge. “Please let me cum!”
 Namjoon gasps for air and drops a thumb to your clit to rub circles on the sensitive bundle.
 “Yes, baby girl, cum for daddy. Cum on my cock, princess.”
 Namjoon’s unrelenting pace and thumb handily stroking your clit brings you to the end, sending you screaming into orgasmic delight.
 Namjoon nearly weeps at how good your cunt feels convulsing around his cock, walls coaxing him and gripping him tight as if your pussy is begging for his own release. 
 “Cum inside me daddy, please,” you beg as you try to catch your breath. 
 Namjoon needs no more permission. He gasps as your channel tightens around him impossibly and sends him into his own release. He whimpers as his cock pulses with ferocity, loads of cum splattering your walls.
 He doesn’t pull out. Instead, he rests his sweaty forehead on yours as you both try to catch your breath.
 “Holy shit,” you gasp as you feel yourself returning to Earth.
 Namjoon laughs and presses a kiss to your lips, before nodding.
 “Yeah,” is all he can manage.
 After a few shuddering breaths, you wrap your arms around your boyfriend’s naked body and hold him close, as close as you can.
 “If this is what Christmas is all about, sign me up.”
 Namjoon buries his face into your neck and kisses you sweetly, before lifting and giving you a playful smile.
 “I guess all Scrooge needed was a good fuck. Dickens got that part all wrong.”
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Returning to work after the New Year was easier this year than it had ever been in your career.
 Namjoon was given the promotion. He told Seokjin he wanted to keep his corner office near you because he “likes the view”, and that he would give all his top cases to the best lawyer in the office—you.
 Jimin won’t stop screaming when he sees the diamond ring on your finger. You haven’t wanted to take it off since the moment you put it on. Maybe it’s not an engagement ring quite yet, maybe it’s just more of a promise. Either way, Jimin is ecstatic and confused as he shakes you down for answers.
 He walks with you to your desk, chattering away about his week with Yoongi, while you sip your convenience store coffee.
 “What the fuck?” Jimin asks as he notices something on your desk. “What is that?”
 As you round the corner, your eyes catch sight of a gleaming silver contraption on your desk, right next to your brand new computer.
 A Nespresso.
 A smile crosses your lips as you approach the expensive machine and notice a folded up card on top.
 Inside, the card is simple.
 “To the only girl in the world who deserves a Nespresso. Love, Namjoon.”
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taglist - @ardoren​ @devilion14​ @bykookie​ @rageyoudamnednerd​ @holynamtiddies​ @thejooncrew​ @dee-ehn​ @yrc1963 @fireheart2003​
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kriffingunlucky · 3 years
Note
Hey I absolutely adore your writing and was wondering if I could request a female reader with Crosshair where the reader is just straight flirting with him and he’s completely clueless to it?
Uh, totally? This is absolutely perfect. >:] And omg! Thank you so much, dearest! I really appreciate that. You guys liking my work is all that keeps me going. So these compliments make my world brighter. I put a "read more" link because this got longer than I was expecting hehe.
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This has been going on for way too long.
Every morning for the past couple of weeks you greet Crosshair with a chipper "good morning, handsome!", or a compliment of that sort. A huge smile plastered on your face. The day goes on, your tasks get done, but you always follow him around and spend whatever time you're able to with him. Smiling all the while. You help him with anything he could possibly need help with. You compliment and tease him. You pat his arms and shoulders affectionately.
Why hasn't the clueless asshole caught onto your hints yet?
You really thought you were being pretty damn obvious. But it's also kind of cute that he doesn't really notice it, or at least think anything of it, at least; you hope.
You lay on top of the Havoc Marauder. Deep in thought. Eyes cast onto the stars above you.
Another Republic base in a small village you all have docked yourselves at to stock back up on supplies, another gift you've snuck onboard for Crosshair. And he still thinks nothing of the kiss that came with it. Damnit.
Chatter spread throughout the Republic occupied space, you casually walking with Wreckers huge poncho over your shoulders back to the ship, trying to be as inconspicuous as you could be.
Which wasn't very inconspicuous.
Because as you approached the Marauder Hunter did a double take at you, brows furrowing in suspicion at your form.
"Hello, (Y/n). What are you doing out?" He crossed his arms firmly over his chest.
You scoffed, placing a hand over your chest. Mock hurt in your voice. "Can a girl not go out and enjoy the city while she finally has the time?"
"Mmhm," Hunter takes a breath in. Giving you an up-down scan. "Why are you wearing Wrecker's poncho?"
"It is comfortable."
"But you have your own that fits you perfectly fine."
"Yes but his is comfier."
"Okay. But it looks as if you're hiding something underneath it. You're more bulky."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"Wha- No? Why would I do that?"
"Because you're mean! You're questioning me!"
"(Y/n)-"
"I am going to cry. And it's all because of you."
"I-"
"ALL BECAUSE OF YOU."
The Sergent throws his hands into the air, groaning, absolutely exasperated. He turns to walk back to where he was before. Loading things into the cargo hold of their small home. "Fine! Whatever! I just hope that thing you're sneaking into the ship for reasons that are beyond me do not involve me! At all!"
You grin as smooth as a tooka cat, sauntering your way into the Marauder, cooing behind you. "No worries, sarge. You'll never hear of this again."
Shedding off the large poncho you'd worn, you lay it on Wrecker's bunk, yelling through the ship. "Thank you for the poncho lend, Wreck!"
In which you get a hardy laugh and, "No problem, little'un!" in response.
Taking your time unwrapping the large basket of sweets you'd smuggled into the ship, you repackage them in a fancy way. Thinking it's rather pretty before you pick it up and scamper to wherever you thought Crosshair might be.
With no luck on your first attempts, you hear Echo's breathy chuckle. "He is outside, napping, surprisingly. You'll see him. He's laying out on the grass like a dramatic starfish."
You grin and yell a loud "thank you" as you jog from the ship, clearing your throat a couple times as you look for him. It really didn't take long to find him sprawled out in the grass. Eyes open, and looking up at the sunset that paints the sky.
Good, so I don't have to wake him. You thought in a sigh of relief.
You open your mouth to speak as you halted yourself in front of him. Standing above his head.
But when he looked up at you with his honey filled eyes, you were love struck again, and at an awkward loss of words. Again.
"(Y/n)." He greets curtly. Not having anything against you, really, but also not being super friendly with you. He was, though, very curious as to what is in that basket of yours.
He was re-situating to see whatever you had in your hands better as you began to gather your thoughts again. "Hi, Cross!" Was your very annoying, in your own anxious opinion, start. "I brought'cha something!"
The sniper raises his silver eyebrows, holding his hands out to take it from you when you offered it towards him. He hummed in confirmation and interest when he set it in his lap.
He was sorting through the contents, so you took that extended silence to speak. "I bought you some sweets from the village venders, because you're a sweet treat yourself!"
Crosshair snorted a small laugh, picking through the items and very silently judging them. You swallowed as you kept smiling. Worried you'd overdone it this time.
But when he looked up at you, meeting your eyes, his expression was absolutely beaming. No, he wasn't smiling. Nor was he really showing that he was happy with it through his facial expression par say. It was through the vibrancy of his eyes that you could tell he loved it.
They were extra shimmery.
"Hope you like it." You grinned, very satisfied with your results. And with a newfound confidence, you leaned down, kissing his cheek softly.
Turning around and walking away, practically skipping, actually, you left a dumbfounded but now quietly happy Crosshair behind you.
And you hadn't heard anything about it from him since. You rubbed your face, half of you frustrated and the other half was entertained by his obliviousness. You'd all eaten dinner together, and laughed about the day.
Tech said that you were making heart eyes at Cross the whole time, but, you refuse to believe that. Even though Echo and Wrecker second that accusation.
"I can be happy being his friend." You spoke to yourself, trying to convince your own brain of this, "He doesn't have to like me the way I like him."
The silence outside was almost mocking your statement.
"Who am I kidding?" You groaned into your hands.
Moments later, after you'd calmed down and just ended up silently gazing at the stars. You heard footsteps climbing the latter to the top of the Marauder. Lifting your head a tad from your laying position you make eye contact with Crosshair.
Letting your head thump against the ground, you sigh quietly. Not even really having much energy to chat with him. You hoped he hasn't come up here to scold you for your gift. Calling it "dumb" and "unprofessional", like you'd worried he thought it was.
"Hey, handsome." You mumble. Adjusting your hands to lay on top of your stomach, laced together slackly, eyes cast away from him.
Crosshair comes close to you, and stands beside where you're sitting for a couple of moments. The atmosphere a tad tense. And you knew it was only because of your tired mind.
You'd been so confident about flirting with him before. But you've slowly come to worry, well, you're at least just worrying right now; that maybe he understands you're flirting and is just ignoring you.
Crosshair sits beside you with a small thump, not saying anything still. Crossing his legs, then pulling something out of the ammo pack on his belt, he hands it to you open palmed.
"Here." He spoke softly.
You hummed and sat yourself half up on your elbows, furrowing your brows at what he holds. You couldn't really see it. It was dark and unlike him, you didn't have enhanced vision. "What's this?"
The sniper snorts. "Take it and find out."
You huff a laugh and sit up fully, taking the mysterious object from his hands with care. Inspecting it for a moment, you soon come to a realization.
It's a piece of candy.
One of the piece's you'd given him earlier, to be exact.
"I thought I'd thank you for giving me those nice sweets." He commented, almost bashfully, when you'd looked up at him with a smile.
"Of course, honeypot! It's my pleasure." You grin and wiggle your body from side to side. Scooting a tad closer to him. Your heart fluttering when your actions earned a small smile from the man.
You love it when he smiles. Especially at you.
"Don't call me that." He huffed out, but with no venom in his voice. Shaking his head as he watched you re-situate closer to him.
"Awww," You whine playfully. "Why not, beautiful? You're as sweet as honey! It's a perfect fit."
"No. It's cringy."
"I'm hurt by your words," you joke as you gently lean your head onto his shoulder. Breathing in a big breath. "Can I call you honeybear?"
"Oh," He snorts, "Please no."
"What about just honey?"
Crosshair sighed, smiling, even though you couldn't see it. And laid his head on top of yours. "That will be acceptable if you insist on with these dumb honey themed names."
You giggled - arm hooking around his, small hand laying on top of the other's larger one, (e/c) eyes fluttering closed - then sighed. "Perfect."
And that is when Crosshair realized, he realized he was catching feelings for you. But much to his unknown relief, he's lucky you felt the same, because all of your pickup lines and pet names still haven't clicked for him. Not yet at least.
Just wait until he asks Tech about it.
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babygirlbenji · 3 years
Text
I’ve Got You - Marcus Rashford
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A/N: my first marcus imagine!!! i'm so sorry this is so late, and it gets so rushed towards the end. i really hope i've done this justice! i'm still getting to know marcus, so i hope this is okay 🥰
It had been a long time since Marcus had been able to go out and party with his friends. With international duty for the Euros and the devastating loss, swiftly followed by club duty only to be sidelined by his shoulder injury and pending surgery, Marcus wanted to let loose for a while and forget about his troubles.
‘Baby girl,’ his voice echoed throughout your shared flat, the last syllable elongated.
‘Yes, my love?’ You replied from the sofa, nose deep in one of your university textbooks. You third year of journalism was intense, but you still absolutely loved it. Your aspirations of being a news reporter for the Manchester Evening News were becoming more reachable with every term.
‘Have you seen my Balenciaga shirt? I swear I saw it in my wardrobe the other day.’ A snort left your lips.
‘You mean your floordrobe? I washed it, I put a load of whites in the other day. Should be either hanging up on the clothes line or folded in one of your drawers.’ Silence followed as Marcus searched for the elusive shirt, before he appeared in the hallway, dressed in black skinny jeans, the shirt he’d been looking for and his usual white Air Forces gifted to him by Nike a couple weeks previously. ‘You look like you’re going somewhere,’ you remarked. Marcus nodded, typing quickly on his phone before coming to sit next to you on the sofa.
‘Jesse, Jadon, Luke and I are going out for the evening, might be a late one. Fancy coming along?’ He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you contemplated the offer.
‘I’d love to, but studying calls. I’ve got a presentation soon, so I need to prepare for it.’ His shoulders slouched. He loved partying, but nights out with you were always the best. You were responsible, but also knew how to have a good time. Knowing all the good clubs from your time at the University of Manchester was a huge plus.
You and Marcus had actually met at one of the clubs. It was your first year of university, and you were new to the area having moved up from the south to start your university career. Marcus had come to your rescue after seeing you being chatted up by a guy who wasn’t taking no for an answer. Having pretended to be your boyfriend to get the guy away from you, Marcus realised that he wanted to get to know you better. He asked for your number in a moment of brazen confidence, and had asked you out the day after when you’d both sobered up. You weren’t usually the type to pick up a guy while on a night out, but the stars aligned on that night, and you hadn’t looked back since.
Your thoughts were brought back to the current moment. Marcus was at the counter, looking for his keys, wallet, mask and ID.
‘Sure you don’t wanna come, love?’ He asked, bending down behind the sofa and wrapping you in his arms.
‘My heart says no but my head says yes.’ The two of you shared a laugh at your conflicting answer.
‘Alright, babe, my Uber will be here in a few minutes, I’ll see you later this evening, yeah?’ You turned your head to kiss his cheek, and he gently held your face to kiss your lips goodbye.
‘Be safe, text me if you want me to pick you up, yeah?’ You called after his retreating back as he hurried towards the door.
‘Will do, bubba, love you!’
‘Love you too, have fun!’ The door opened, and he left, the sound of a car door opening and closing following a short while later.
Facing a quiet evening ahead, you switched on Netflix and put on the new series of Unsolved Mysteries, which had been on your watch list ever since it was released the week before. Not bothering to cook, you ordered a pizza, and feasted by yourself as you filled your head with statistics, facts and opinions about the history of the BBC.
Your phone blared loudly beside you, your ringtone of September by Earth, Wind and Fire catching you unawares. Groaning and realising you must have fallen asleep on the sofa, you groggily picked it up, noting that the time was just past 2:30am.
‘Hello?’ you grumbled. A barrage of loud music, even louder voices and a car engine hit your ears, making you rub your forehead at the change of volume.
‘Y/N, it’s Jess, we’re about 5 minutes away, Rashy got himself really drunk,’ Jesse’s voice was slightly muffled, and you assumed that you were on speaker as he tried to wrestle his taller teammate into his seatbelt or something.
‘Okay, I’ll get stuff ready, see you soon.’ He thanked you and hung up, leaving you to hurry around to get a pair of joggers and a clean shirt from Marcus’s wardrobe, followed by a glass of water and made sure that there was a packet of painkiller ready for the morning when Marcus would no doubt have a pounding headache.
The buzzer to the apartment sounded, and you answered to allow Jesse and Jadon up, knowing that Marcus was too gone to know where his keys were. Shortly after, the doorbell rang and you hurried over to answer it.
‘Hey guys, thank you for bringing him home,’ you whispered, trying not to wake up your neighbours.
'Oh look, it's my babyyyy!' Marcus yelled loudly when he saw you. Even in his intoxicated state, and even with your hair in a messy bun, no makeup and bleary eyes from sleep, you were still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
'Shhh, Rash, neighbours,' Jadon winced.
'I need everyone to know that I was literally jumped by some random girl at the bar, but I pushed her away from me and was like "bore off, I have a girlfriend! And she's the love of my life! And I don't want anyone else!"' You didn't know whether to be thoroughly embarrassed, thoroughly amused or thoroughly endeared, so you just thanked the boys for bringing him home.
‘Safe trip home, guys.’ They closed the door behind you and you heard them head back downstairs. You put your arm around Marcus's shoulders and helped him inside.
The next step of the process was getting Marcus out of his party clothes. ‘Rashy, baby, I need you to help me get you undressed and into bed, okay?’ He grumbled to himself as he tried to get his arms and legs out of their respective holes of his shirt and jeans. It surprised you how an agile footballer could be so uncoordinated when inebriated.
‘Help,’ he mumbled. You were distinctly reminded of your six-year-old cousin you sometimes babysat, but decided not to say anything; you didn’t want to upset your boyfriend.
‘Alright, baby, arms up!’ He obeyed and lifted his arms up in the air, allowing you to finally take his shirt off. Tossing it into the laundry bin, you cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. ‘I’ve got you, darling. There we go.’ His jeans came off soon after, leaving Marcus in his boxers, looking thoroughly exhausted.
‘Want cuddles,’ he slurred. You giggled.
‘Drink some water for me first?’ After some deliberation, you reached an agreement, and he drank a glass of water. ‘Okay baby, you feeling okay?’ To answer your question, Marcus flopped onto the sofa, completely passed out. ‘Guess we’re sleeping here tonight,’ you snorted to yourself, quickly fetching a blanket and a few extra pillows. Gently lifting his head up, you placed them under him, making sure he was lying so that he wouldn’t strain his neck or hurt his shoulder more. You carefully climbed in next to him, acting as the big spoon, and pulled him close to you.
‘Thank you, Y/N,’ a small voice whispered, still slightly slurred, but this time you assumed it was caused more by exhaustion than alcohol.
‘Always, darling.’
Needless to say, training for Marcus the next morning proved quite a challenge.
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floralseokjin · 3 years
Text
⤑ made-up love song v (m).
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Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 
Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…
pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, fluff, smut; a shit ton of kissing, oral (f), seokjin likes eye contact, slight overstimulation, he also seems to have a slight potty mouth when turned on, romantic sex, protected sex, shower scene, oral (m), this chapter is basically just sex, enjoy! (yes, the dilf dick is b i g) lingerie described found here for the visuals ~  words; 9,572
↪︎ chapter index
chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)
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Saturday couldn’t come soon enough. You were like a little kid at the lead up to Christmas. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited for something. Actually, on second thoughts, you couldn’t think of a time you were this excited for anything, period. And all over the prospect of sleeping with Seokjin, and definitely not in the innocent way… He had in no way explicitly stated that you’d be having sex this week, but the insinuation was heavy in the air. Everything leading up to this moment was suggesting come Saturday night you would not be sat in front of Seokjin’s 75” television watching boxsets… 
On the morning of you decided to pack a few things in a small case. You definitely planned on returning home in the day if needed or bored while Seokjin was at work, but the essentials were required: underwear, pyjamas, a few outfits, toiletries and skincare, your iPad, miscellaneous chargers. Soojung on the other hand was acting like you were never coming back… 
“I’m going to miss you.” She whined, having been hovering around you as you packed. “Leaving me alone with smelly Tae.” 
In a bid not to be alone in the evenings she’d invited her smelly boyfriend over for the week, but although she sounded irked it was all just an act. God knows what they’d get up to while you were gone, you dreaded to think. On second thoughts, maybe it would be best to stay at Seokjin’s place all week… You had no clue what you’d walk in on in your own home.  
“I won’t be gone the whole week. Besides, we can meet up for lunch and stuff.” You often visited her at the department store, perusing the food court until it was time for her lunch break. You weren’t secluded from the whole world while away. What did she think was happening? 
She helped you fold your clothes in momentary silence, deep in thought it seemed. “What if you love it there and want to stay permanently Dilf mansion?” 
You scoffed immediately, taking the small pile of t-shirts from her to pack away. “Soo, way to jump the gun.” You’d been dating barely six weeks, hadn’t even had sex yet, moving in together was number 1 on the highly unlikely list. Although, sliding in a couple of pairs of flats into the top pocket of your case and zipping it up, you hummed in consideration. “Dilf mansion does have a ring to it though…” 
Soojung’s attention was on another pile of clothing now – one you would be wearing this evening to leave for Seokjin’s house. Her fingertips brushed along the delicate baby blue lace of your lingerie, sitting on top of the pile and she looked up at you and grinned wickedly. “You’re going to knock his socks off with this.” 
You and her had spent yesterday browsing the mall with a very important task. To decide on the most perfect lingerie set. Knowing Seokjin for a while know, you’d noticed he had an inclination for the colour blue, so your chosen piece had to be a winner – practically see-through, littered in beautiful lace flowers. You were well and truly prepared for tonight, you were a woman on a mission. 
“His Dilf socks,” you corrected your best friend, both of you instantly exploding into a fit of giggles. 
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Arin had left with her grandparents this morning, and as much as Seokjin was eager to get this weekend started and see you immediately, he actually had a few things he needed to take care of at work. It wasn’t until around 5pm that you got into your car to make the short journey, Soo waving you off proudly like you were about to attend your graduation. You were honestly quite calm given the circumstances, although one look at Seokjin as he stepped out the front door to take your case and all inner composure was lost. You were one big ball of excitement, most of it flurrying around in the pit of your stomach. Yet you kept cool on the outside, grinning at the handsome man in front of you despite your lingerie burning marks into your skin. 
And handsome he was today, (as if he wasn’t every day), his dark hair parted in the centre of his forehead naturally, his eyes crinkling as he smiled and leaned in for a kiss. You tasted a hint of mango on his mouth, an obvious sheen to his plump lips, and you presumed he’d applied some chapstick before you’d arrived – the chapstick you’d bought him not too long ago after he’d complained of cracked lips to you on the phone one night. 
“Hey,” he greeted softly, his arms around your waist, body pressed snuggly into yours. 
“Hey yourself,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around his neck, gazing into one another’s eyes before you lightly teased him. “Are we going to stay out here all night?” 
Chuckling heartily, he reached behind you, lifting your case with ease. “Let’s go put this in my room.” 
You’d never once stepped foot onto the upper level of his house before, so you were very observant on your way to his bedroom, eyes catching art pieces (you noticed numerous of Arin’s) and photos along the walls, light fixtures, as well as the odd plant here and there. You had to walk two flights of stairs to get to your destination, one average in length, the other shorter, veering off to the left of the corridor to reach a landing leading into his bedroom. You remembered what he’d said about changing and designing his bedroom himself, so you were very curious as to what it looked like inside. Yet still, the sight of it stunned you to brief silence. 
His was the largest bedroom in the house, the master bedroom if you were being fancy, but in your opinion it was more like a mini home in itself. All it needed was a kitchen and you would be good to go. It smelt just like him – of his cologne and the recognisable vanilla scent his house seemed to waft of every time you visited. The walls were warm grey, décor similar with dashes of cream and gold. The bed matched the whole vibe of the room – insanely large, and you could already tell it was going to be the comfiest thing you’d ever slept on. Directly opposite, but a long way away, were a sofa and love seat sat around a TV hooked to the wall above a stunning fireplace. There were two sets of double windows, from the ceiling to the wooden floor, dark grey drapes open – not that it mattered. Seokjin’s house was out-of-the-way, no chance of being seen. All you were met with as you looked down, was a small patch of garden you hadn’t seen before, plain and simple, but very beautiful. Tranquil. 
To the left of the room a door opened into another, perhaps a quarter of the size – his closet, and you followed him inside, still pretty much lost for words. He said there was no point putting your belongings away tonight, you could do it tomorrow, but he’d saved a drawer for you and there was an empty section of hanging space you could use too. There was also a dressing table you could put to good use, because he sure didn’t, and then he whisked you away into the bathroom, which was probably the most beautiful room in the house. Everything was warm marble in colour. A separate bath and shower (both gigantic) and double sinks. 
“I got you a robe,” Seokjin pointed out, and you followed his gaze to behind the door, two fluffy white robes hooked to the wall. 
Oh, boy. You could get used to this. 
.
.
Seokjin ordered takeout for dinner – from an Indian restaurant Namjoon kept raving about apparently. With the amount he ordered you could have sworn he was feeding a whole party, not just the two of you. You were stuffed in no time, curling up on the sofa with a glass of red wine as Seokjin loaded the dishwasher. He still hadn’t cooked an actual meal for you, and when he joined you, of course you reminded him. This week he was preparing dinner for you one night, and that was final. You needed to see what Chef Kim had in him – even if he insisted his skills were long forgotten.  
You cuddled as you watched a movie, which more often than not meant you’d start to become sleepy – just ask Soojung – but tonight was different. You were wide awake and practically thrumming with excitement. You were begging for the movie credits an hour before they were due, and when they finally popped up your heart started to beat harder in anticipation. It was nearing 11pm. Your lingerie was still burning welts into your skin… 
Seokjin kissed the top of your head, your back pressed into his chest where you’d been snuggled into him, legs across the sofa, for the duration of the night. One of his arms was crossed around your front, the other free to drink his wine as he propped his feet up on the glass topped coffee table. You could really get used to this. 
“What did you think?” He hummed, reaching forward to place his glass on a coaster. You grabbed his hand, not wanting him to leave you and he chuckled, quickly resuming position to now loop both arms around your shoulders, pressing you further into the warmth of his body. 
“I enjoyed,” you replied with a small shrug. In all honesty it would’ve been a great movie if you hadn’t been so distracted. 
You felt him lower his head, breath hot against your ear as he spoke. “I’m glad you didn’t fall asleep on me.” You giggled as he started to kiss the column of your neck, his barely there presses of his lips tickling you. Yet still you pushed into his hold, letting your head fall back. He took the opportunity to suck your earlobe between his lips, eliciting a sweet sigh from you. “I really can’t wait to spend this entire week with you.”  He whispered. 
You tried to keep your voice as uninvolved as possible – which was a lot harder when he now had your earlobe between his teeth. “Eh. I’m so-so over it.” 
“Y/N!” He scolded playfully, groaning a laugh as he lifted his head away. “Stop. Now’s not the time for joking around.” 
“I’m sorry,” you giggled, latching onto his hands. 
“Face me,” he murmured almost suddenly. “Let me kiss you properly.” 
His kisses were gentle and loving, his hands cupping your face as you leaned into him, hands placed across his hard chest. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt tucked into some black pants, he’d looked irresistible all night. He pulled away slowly, lips upturned almost drunkenly. “What’s that grin for?” 
Seokjin’s gaze flicked from your lips to your eyes repeatedly as he replied, thumbs massaging circles into your cheeks. “I’m just very happy. Is that allowed?” 
Giggling, you pressed your mouth to his, wrapping your palms around his neck to pull him in closer. He hummed loudly – indulgently, and let you lick into his mouth, his own hands slipping down to your neck and down your torso, gripping your middle. Your chest was flush to his and you welcomed the heat of his body. You were happy too. It had been a long time since you’d last felt this content, and tonight you’d realised just how lovely it was to be able to lounge with Seokjin and be in his company so casually, so naturally like this. You would become spoiled this week, but you couldn’t feel too worried right now. 
Breaking away again, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but your mouth was a greedy thing, finding its way down his neck and across his throat as he leaned his head against the back of the sofa, his breathing shallow as he let you wonder. His fingers brushed up and down your back distractedly, until he seemed to remember what he wanted to tell you. “Hey,” he whispered, breath catching in his throat when you pinched your teeth into his Adam’s apple softly. “Hey, stop for a moment. There was something I wanted to say before…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish the very obvious direction of his sentence, and as much as you wanted to nosedive straight into that pool, you pulled back to look into his eyes, waiting patiently. 
He straightened his back and you eased off him a little, finding his fond smile contagious. “I’ve enjoyed these past few weeks so much.” He began, sincerity in his tone . “I know I’m not old old by any means but dating you has made me feel like I’m young again. I mean, grinding in the middle of a bar is something I didn’t even do back in my college days.” 
“I fail to believe that,” you laughed. 
“Really,” he insisted, looking amused. “I was a nerd. A handsome one, but a nerd nonetheless.” Before you could roll your eyes he was continuing. “What I’m trying to say is that, I really like you, Y/N.” His fingers played with the ends of your hair lovingly.  “You know that already. Shit, I’m crazy about you. Just hearing your voice makes my day better. No matter how short a time we spend together, even if it’s just on the phone to say goodnight, I feel happy – I feel relaxed.” He paused to take a breath before moving to cup your face with one hand. “No matter how stressed I am you make it better by just existing.” 
“…Seokjin,” you murmured, a little lost for words at his declaration. 
He chuckled warmly, tops of his cheeks tinged somewhat rosy. “Too cheesy?”
You shook your head adamantly, reaching for his face as well. “Not at all. I’m crazy about you too.” His face lit up instantly and you couldn’t help but kiss him. “I’m so happy we met,” you confessed against his mouth. “I don’t want this summer to be over.” 
“It’s not over yet,” he laughed. “We still have time to make it even better.” You wanted that more than anything. Finding it difficult to keep away from your lips, he practically had to tear himself away. He was out of breath. “I know saying this out loud is silly given everything, but… Let’s make this official.” 
Your heart started somersaulting. You felt like you were in high school again, over the moon because Kim Rowoon had asked you to prom. Only this was better than that – much, much better. Linking your arms around Seokjin’s neck you tilted your head to the side, a grin unable to keep off your face. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Mr. Kim?” 
“What do you say?” He sounded hopeful and soft. 
You hummed out loud, thinking hard. “Can I get back to you? 3 to five business days seems about right.” You immediately squealed as you finished your sentence, Seokjin’s hands finding their way around your butt to tug you forward. You gripped onto his shoulders with the surprise. 
“Too bad because I’ve already been calling you my girlfriend at the office.” 
You didn’t have a chance to reply, the hard press of his lips against yours knocking you senseless. You found yourself in his lap not long after, fingers dragging through his hair as you clung to him, mouths moving in gradual urgency until you began to feel out of breath. Your tongues seemed to grow more daring, intent, as your soft moans mingled with his quiet groans. You hadn’t quite found yourself in this position before, usually moulded to the soft leather but this time you had Seokjin pinned tight, a heat that was quickly becoming unbearable burning between your bodies, and his hands running up and down your back didn’t help. 
Each brush of his fingertips had your skin prickling with warmth, dizzying your mind, and when you felt him brush against the curve of your left breast you leaned forward into his touch, desperate for more. Seokjin grunted, encouraged by your action as he cupped the soft flesh, his thumb grazing your nipple which hardened from the touch. Your kiss turned a lot more frenzied after that, Seokjin roaming your body with confidence, his unoccupied hand cupping your butt to rock you against his crotch. 
He was hard. You’d felt it stiffening ever since you’d climbed into his lap, but now he was solid, flesh pressing (probably painfully) against his pants, and feeling emboldened you lifted your hips, hovering over him for your hand to slot in between your bodies, cupping his erection firmly. He stiffened under your grasp, his breath hitching and you took that moment to drag your tongue along his, teasing him as you slowly started to stroke him above his slacks. He felt thick and rigid between your fingers, pulsing erratically against your hold, and he broke away from your mouth, head falling back as a loud, drawn-out groan slipped from his throat. You gazed at him – eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed, mouth parted as he breathed shallowly – and took a mental picture. You wanted to remember this moment forever. He looked gorgeous, basking in pleasure and you wanted to pleasure him more. It was an urge so strong you practically dived on him, mouth slamming into his. He soon gained his bearings, kissing you just as wildly as his hands groped your body. 
“Do you – mm, do you want – mm – to take this upstairs?” He asked against your lips, fingers currently digging into the soft flesh of your ass. The veins in his neck were visible, his desperation for you obvious, and you pulled away from the kiss to nod rapidly. If he didn’t get you upstairs soon you’d surely explode. 
You let out a little squeak as you suddenly found yourself in the air, safely held up by Seokjin. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him as he began to make the brisk walk to the hallway and towards the staircase. “Oh, my god,” you muttered, laughing as you realised he was about to carry you bridal style all the way up the stairs. 
“What?” He laughed back, his eyes twinkling warmly. Your heart melted at the sight and you leaned in to kiss him, uncaring that you both may fall backwards and break your necks. 
“I may have forgotten about the amount of stairs in this goddamn house,” he panted lightly once you’d made it past the first set. 
“Put me down then,” you giggled. 
“Never,” he sang out, pecking you on the mouth sweetly. 
Once in his bedroom, he placed you down, closing the door behind you before caging you against it, kissing you like he hadn’t seen you for months. You keened into his touch, whole body hot and ready for him, but in the end you couldn’t keep up with his mouth. He’d never kissed you like this, he was a man possessed, you physically felt weak at the knees and you clung to him, moaning softly when his mouth fell to your neck. 
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he confessed against the wet skin, fresh waves of arousal washing through your body. His voice was an octave lower, gruff and nothing like you’d heard before. “I can’t contain myself knowing we’re going to be alone for a whole week.” 
“What do you plan on doing to me?” You laughed weakly, but to be honest, the time for wisecracks were gone. You were hanging on by a thread, this close to begging him to tear your clothes off. 
Cupping your neck he pulled away to look you in the face. His pupils were blown out, more black than the warm brown you were used to. The tops of his cheeks were tinged red, his own arousal very evident, and when he replied he sounded as sincere as ever. “Anything you want me to.” 
Okay, if he carried on like this, he’d mess up your plan good and proper. He was rude. Very rude. And hot, and sexy, and yours. God, you really wanted him. Your body was screaming for him. You pressed a kiss to his mouth, and then another, and another, determined not to get yourself glued there no matter how much he tried to drag his tongue along the seam of your lips. “L-let me freshen up,” you managed to get out, voice shaky as you (with great difficultly) held him away at arm’s length.  
At your words, he slowly made sense of them, his eyes refocussing before he gave you a short nod and politely stepped back. “Ok.” 
Before you could be tempted by that mouth of his once more, you made a dash for his bathroom, closing the door behind you. Immediately you began to rush out of your clothes, not even bothering to fold them properly because you were in such a hurry. You’d had this planned all night, wanting him to be rendered speechless, and staring at your lingerie cladded self in the giant mirror he had hooked to the wall, you reminded yourself to take a breather. You were going to walk out there calmly, the epitome of composed as you sought out his reaction. With one last look at your reflection, you walked towards the door and opened it. 
Seokjin was sat on the edge of the bed, legs sinfully spread (but oh so casually, which just made it hotter), but he wasn’t looking your way, his eyes darting around the room a little as if he was desperately trying to find some patience. Knowing he was riled and aroused made your head even more dizzy, and stopping by the doorframe, you called out to him. 
He looked your way instantly, eyes bulging even quicker. Actually they practically popped out on storks as he took in the sight of you in the baby blue underwear. He seemed paralysed. 
“Hey,” you smiled, all of a sudden feeling a little shy as you waited for him to say something. 
It took another moment, but then he was swallowing hard, wetting his mouth as his lips parted. “Oh, shit.” 
You smiled victoriously, those simple two words satisfying you fully. 
He outstretched his hand, voice thick and raspy as he beckoned you forward. “Come here.”
You obeyed, closing the distance between you quickly and Seokjin wasted no time clasping his hands around your hips as you stood in front of him, between his legs. If felt so good to finally have his hands on your bare skin. His touch was warm, soothing, but most of all, electrifying. Goosebumps spread as he dragged his fingers up and down your sides, his eyes drowning at the sight of you. 
“Do you like it? It’s not too much?” You asked, looking down at him. You glowed under his gaze. 
He lifted his head up, arching an eyebrow. “Do I like it? Is that supposed to be a genuine question?” He sounded just as baffled as he looked and it made you giggle. His fingers started to play with the thin waistband of your panties before delicately outlining the lace flower petals on your ass. The sensation made you shiver, and a small smile grew on his face as he watched you. “You look gorgeous.” He leaned forward, beginning to place small, gentle kisses on your abdomen and your skin rippled, butterflies appearing. “You’re beautiful.” He murmured, hot puffs of air hitting you, heating you up even more. 
You curled your hand in his hair, needing something to latch on to as you watched him mouth even more kisses along your flesh. The point of his tongue dipped into your navel scandalously, and as you gasped he looked up with his eyes and smirked, tongue now swirling invisible patterns along your stomach. The sight sent you a little gooey, legs feeling weak again as your heart thrummed inside your chest. 
“However… I was looking forward to undressing you…” He teased.
You teased right back. “You still have the lingerie.” 
He couldn’t handle that, growling quietly against your stomach, his hands rounding your ass to mould the flesh in his palms firmly. He’d soon tear the panties if he kept that up. Obviously the idea of stripping you naked sent him feral – something you’d remember well for this week. You yelped when you felt him sink his teeth into your hip bone, pulling him closer to your body by his hair, desperate for more. It was when you looked behind him, did you notice the pillar candles aflame on the two nightstands that sat either side of his bed. They weren’t burning before you’d entered the bathroom. You were sure of it. 
“Seokjin, did you light candles?” You asked without realising, changing the atmosphere slightly, but you didn’t mind too much, not when the image of Seokjin rushing to burn candles for the ~ambience~ was too damn adorable. 
He lifted from your skin, looking up at you. “Um, yeah.” He sounded a little awkward before he chuckled softly. “I thought against the slow R&B music.” 
“Good choice,” you laughed, fingers rubbing small circles into the nape of his neck. That would’ve been hilarious. 
“I’m totally out of my depth here…” He admitted, nudging you backwards a little to stand in front of you. He kept his hands on your waist, ducking down to be eye level with you. “I haven’t done this in a while.” 
“Snap,” you grinned, rubbing your nose against his as you wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him close. You kissed him deeply, feeling happy and relaxed. There wasn’t a nerve in sight and despite his honest words you knew he was at ease too.  
Your hands slipped over his shoulders and down his toned chest, stopping just before the waistband of his pants to tug at his t-shirt, untucking him. “You have to get naked too.” You whined, detaching your mouths. “I’m feeling sorely underdressed.” 
He let out an airy chuckle, immediately reaching for the neck of his shirt to tug it over his head. Your hands greedily started to explore his torso, running your fingers along his faintly lined abs before trailing up his hard chest. He shivered as you brushed against his nipples, a tiny laugh slipping from his throat. 
“What?” You laughed. 
“’Tickles.” He mumbled, leaning in for another kiss. You wrapped your arms around him, loving the feeling of his bare chest against yours, but soon enough you got impatient again, hands reaching for the button of his pants. You popped it open and proceeded to unzip him, at least giving his poor erection some reprieve. It had been pressed up against your lower stomach for quite some time, still rigid but as patient as ever. 
He took over, stepping back to push them past his hips, his lips still attached to yours. “Mm–Bed.” He hummed, taking you by the hips to switch places. You pulled away and sat down, watching him kick his pants off his feet and your eyes zoned in on the curve of his erection, hidden by his Armani underwear – black with a red waistband. His thighs were perfectly toned, his skim glowing in the soft lighting. He looked good enough to eat and your heart skipped a couple of beats as he walked forward. 
You laid back against the mattress, instantly groaning at how soft it was. You practically sunk inside. “Oh, damn this is comfy.” Rolling onto your side as Seokjin climbed on the bed, you hid your smirk. “I could just go to sleep…” 
“I don’t think so,” he told you, hovering over you. His hand smacked you ass causing you to squeal, and you flipped onto your back as he took the moment to cage you under his large body. 
This time his mouth completely bypassed your lips to kiss your chest, pressing into the indents of your collarbones before slipping to the tops of your breasts. He kissed the fabric, wetting it as his tongue traced the delicate flower petals and you gripped onto his shoulders with a moan as he encased one nipple between his lips, sucking gently, soaking the lace a darker shade of blue. “You drive me crazy,” he quietly panted, his hands reaching behind your back, arched into the pleasure he was giving you. “May I?” He asked, fingers finding the clasp of your bra. You nodded hastily, moaning louder when he lifted his head to kiss your lips. His motions were firm, tight pleasure filled grunts leaving him as he freed you of your lingerie. 
Immediately he pulled away, dark eyes soaking in your bare chest like it was the most stunning thing he’d ever seen. Your back arched further when his warm palms cupped your breasts, spreading a heat down your spine that settled between your legs. “You’re beautiful,” he awed, looking into your eyes, causing a sweet moan to fall from your lips. 
He moulded the soft flesh gently, before brushing his thumbs over your hardened nipples. That had you moaning again, pleasure you hadn’t felt in a long time rocketing up your body. It felt amazing to be touched by him, and you were greedy for more. He was on the same page, his lips replacing his thumbs, his tongue flicking against the sensitive bud that had you sighing out his name, your fingers threaded in his hair. He hummed against you, squeezing your breasts and pressing his body into yours – once – his erection pressing into your thighs, before he pulled away, kissing down your sternum before licking into your navel, his hands rubbing up and down the outside of your thighs. 
His lips avoided your clothed heat, which was frustrating to say the least. You were so eager by now, unsure if you could take much more kissing before you exploded, but Seokjin was a man determined – determined on kissing every inch of your body it seemed. He made it down one thigh before moving onto the next and as he got towards your knee you couldn’t help but giggle – it was beginning to tickle, but he didn’t stop, lips pressing down your calf.  
“Seokjinn,” you whined. 
He chuckled as he made his way back up the other leg, bending you at the knee before gently getting you to spread out for him. “What?” He murmured. Although you were distracted now, realising how aroused you had become, your underwear clinging to you desperately. He was kissing the inside of your thigh now, fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties and he was so close to where you wanted him you were trembling. He nosed his way to the apex of your thigh, groaning as he smelt you and then he was hastily tugging the lace down your legs, the last of your covering. Now you were totally naked in front of him, and he looked like he wanted to eat you up. 
“What do you want me to do?” He asked, voice gruff. He sounded so sexy. His eyes were glued to your centre yet he didn’t touch. When you didn’t reply, they flickered to your face. “Y/N. Hm?” 
You mind was a blur, you couldn’t think what to say, mainly because you wanted him to do anything and everything to you. You startled when he nosed the inside of your thigh, his hands sliding down your hips to grip the flesh underneath. “Taste you? Is that what you want?” He whispered, sending your insides somersaulting. He looked up as you nodded, and grinned. “You have to say it out loud, honey.” 
The bastard. He was teasing you. Trying to get under your skin. Your forced yourself to speak. “Taste me.” He hummed in response, pressing his mouth to your hip bone. You raised your tone, more determined. “Seokjin. Taste me.” 
He dived in. Placing gentle kisses up your slit, his lips ever so slightly brushing your clitoris. You moaned quietly, letting your eyes close as you laid back against the softest pillows you had ever felt. Your fists clutched the sheets, hips raising up when you felt the first wash of his tongue. Your breath caught, warmth turning you gooey. “Taste so good,” he mumbled into you – so quietly you wondered if you’d imagined it. 
You enjoyed the sensation for a few moments, quietly moaning intermittently before you felt the urge to take a peek. Opening your eyes and looking down your body, you saw Seokjin watching you, his eyes hungry. You quickly looked away, the back of your hand coming up to cover your mouth as a groan left you, your legs falling wider apart. The scene had been erotic but in all honesty you were feeling a little shy. It had been a long time since you’d had sex, so the idea of someone watching you so intimately made you feel funny. 
Seokjin was there to reassure you though. “Don’t look away, Y/N,” he murmured, pulling back to get your attention. “I want to see your face.” You looked again, watching him kneel low as he ran a hand up your thigh. His lips shone with your arousal. He looked beautiful. 
You moaned lowly when you felt him rub a finger at your entrance, and he watched you intently as he pushed inside, feeling you squeeze around the intrusion. He slowly began to curve the digit, pressing against your inner walls. Committed to pleasuring you, he watched your every reaction and this time you didn’t look away. 
“Does it feel good?” He asked, in awe as you writhed around on the bed, chasing the feeling. 
You moaned as you replied yes, only to jerk upwards when his thumb began to rub tiny circles against your clit. “Seokjin!” 
He liked that. Hearing you cry his name. He wanted to hear it more, dropping low to replace his thumb with his lips. He sucked the sensitive bud of nerves between them, flicking the tip of his tongue against it rapidly, earning him another cry, and he moaned gruffly against you, the vibrations shooting up your body. His free hand moved to your lower stomach, palm hot against your skin as he applied gentle pressure, holding you down. 
Oh god, you were a mass of pleasure, mind addled, unable to think straight. Not when he was making you feel so good. He slipped a second finger inside of you, his eyes flicking up to yours and you made it your life’s mission not to look away, chest heaving up and down as you squeezed around his digits. Your orgasm was building, pressure below getting harder to control – harder to ignore. Seokjin guessed it, breaking eye contact to bury his face further into your heat. The image was almost crude, so were the noises, but the most beautiful kind of crude. A crude that had you desperate for more. You jerked into him, rolling into each snap of his wrist, the pads of his fingers grazing your g-spot. 
“Want to make you cum,” he rasped, before sucking your clit back into his mouth and sucking determinedly. You groaned, head flinging back into the pillow, eyes clenched closed, a hand coming out to grip the roots of your hair as you rolled your hips into his face, giving into the pleasure well and truly. This orgasm was going to blow your brains out – and it did. 
In the end you had you to clamp your legs around Seokjin’s head in a bid to get him to stop, pleasure still rolling through your body as you panted like crazy. He eased from your clit, tongue dragging down your folds instead, meeting his fingers that were almost locked inside of your pulsing walls. With a grunt, he removed himself, kissing your mound one last time before he stopped. With his hands on your thighs as he kneeled between them, he watched you adoringly. 
“Oh, my god,” you panted weakly. Unsure what else you could say to describe what you’d just experienced. Why had he not been doing that from the get-go? From as soon as he’d reversed into your car?! 
That was all he needed anyway, your simple vocalisation, because no sooner had the words exited your mouth, he dived on you, kissing your mouth, your cheeks, your eyes, your forehead – whatever he could reach. “You’re amazing,” he gushed, his lips and chin still glistening with your wetness. You could taste yourself on him. It was glorious. His hands roamed your body like it was all new to him. As if he hadn’t been it for the last forty minutes or so. “Fuck. I can’t stop touching you.”
Your stomach flipped around, the sound of him cursing sending you dizzy. You licked into his mouth, kissing him messily, your hands raking up and down his back, before they settled on his ass. You gave the meat a squeeze and he grunted, pushing his crotch into yours. He was painfully hard – and desperate. (You hadn’t missed the way he’d been rutting into the mattress while going down on you…)
“Seokjin,” you breathed, moving your head to the side to get your words out. His tongue carried on going, swirling across your cheek. You liked getting messy with him. You tugged at his underwear. “Get naked. Need you.” 
“You don’t need a minute?” He asked, tongue now in your ear. He gyrated his hips into yours, grunting as he did so. 
You shook your head. “Like hell I do.” 
He laughed at that – breathlessly, but it was something. He moved, rushing out of the last bit of clothing he had on, and your eyes drunk up the sight. The missing piece. His dick was long and thick – smooth and warm once you got your hands on him. Hovering over you, you ran your fist up and down him steadily, just enjoying getting to touch him. He dropped to your side, pecking your lips before he pulled back.  “I need to be inside you.” 
You continued to touch him, running your fingers along the rigid flesh as he stretched behind him to pull a box from the nightstand drawer. 
It caught your attention right away. You raised both eyebrows as you let go of his length. “A hundred condoms?” 
He chuckled, sounding a little sheepish. “Too enthusiastic?”
“Do you want to kill me?” Death by (Dilf) dick wasn’t how you’d expected to go, if you were being honest. 
“Not particularly,” he shrugged, pulling one of the packet. (Discarding the box to the floor.) He turned back to you with an impish grin. “That’s why I bought the bumper pack of condoms.”
You rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest, but he grabbed your hand and kissed you, distracting you successfully. “No, if I’m being truthful,” he continued, letting you steal another kiss. “They were better value for money. I’m partial to a bargain.” 
“You’re unbelievable,” you scoffed. 
“You should’ve seen me purchasing them, I have never been more embarrassed in my life.” 
“Seokjin, you’re a near 40 year old man,” you judged openly, however on second thoughts – “But yeah, I’d be embarrassed buying a 100 condoms too.” 
Seokjin shuddered, looking mortified. “Just the thought of the cashier knowing I was going to get lucky…” 
You arched an eyebrow. “Get lucky?”
He looked comically caught out, eyes wide for a second before he shook his head. “Less talking now…” And then he was kissing you again…
Between rushed mouths and eager hands, he managed to tear the condom packet, pulling out the latex to slip it over his erection. Kneeling over you, you could see perfectly when he attempted to roll it the wrong way up.  “Oh, shit. Ignore that,” he muttered, fixing it immediately. 
You stifled a laugh. “Ignored.” 
He gave himself a tug, making sure everything was secure and your mouth practically watered. “Just warning you now, this may be a three pumps and Bam! kinda thing,” he informed you as he laid over you, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I am so turned on.”
You giggled, wrapping your arms around his middle. “I don’t mind. Just want you.” 
“I want you more.” He rubbed his nose against yours. 
Hitting his ass, you shot him a look. “It’s not a competition.” 
“Isn’t it?” He asked, pretending to be confused. 
“Quit stalling,” you whined. “Let’s have sex.” 
“Let’s,” he agreed with a warm smile. You turned gooey instantly. 
Pressing his knees to the mattress, he hovered over you, wrapping his hand around his dick to direct it between your legs. He rubbed the length up and down your slit, flesh heavy and hot, coating himself in your arousal. The sensation was good for you, but for him it seemed to blow his mind, eyes practically rolling back into his skull as he grunted. He stopped at your entrance, looking up at you as he slowly pushed the head inside. 
You shifted under him, trying to stay patient. You wanted nothing more than to be stuffed full of him, but realistically you needed to take things slow. You held onto his shoulders, silently telling him to continue. He let out a strained groan as he slipped in deeper, your walls snug and hot around him, begging him for more. Inch by glorious inch, you kept on taking him, until you were filled up just right. 
“Shit,” you uttered, looking up at the ceiling as you adjusted to the sensation. 
“Was that a curse?” He asked, voice tight but greatly amused as he nosed your throat. 
“Hardly.” Your voice was barely there, desperate for him to move. 
“I’d still class it as swearing.” He was holding his breath, yet still felt the need to be a smarty-pants. You moved your hips practically a centimetre and he grunted. He didn’t want you to win though. “I want more. Maybe not tonight, but I will turn your mouth filthy by the end of the week…”
A moan tore from your throat uncontrollably, and you couldn’t look at his face because you knew you’d be met with a gloating smirk. You steeled yourself, nose in the air. “Game on.” 
Seokjin laughed obnoxiously, but couldn’t wait any longer, slowly dragging out of you and then pushing back in. His breath hitched – so did yours, and he carried on, propping himself up with one hand as he gained a steady rhythm. 
“You feel so fucking good,” he moaned, watching your face. 
“You too.” You clung to him, feeling your face heat up and ended up dropping your gaze. 
“Honey, don’t be shy,” he whined, reaching to cup your face, in the process pressing more of his body weight into you. You clutched him tighter, wanting him as close as ever. “I like watching you. Knowing I’m making you feel good.” His mouth on yours now, you sunk into the kiss, moaning softly as his thrusts got quicker. You met each one, rolling into him. 
It wasn’t long before he was on your throat, kissing and nipping the skin, his hands exploring the rest of your body. Your ran your fingers through his hair, sighing sweety when his mouth wrapped around one of your nipples, slipping the hard flesh into his mouth to suck. 
Face pressed against your chest, his movements became a little erratic, breathing heavy until he was panting. You moaned along, loving how he was making you feel. “You are honestly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He awed, voice raspy. 
You let out a weak chuckle, running your fingers through the ends of his hair. “Of course you would say that with a face full of my boobs.” 
He laughed too, kissing his way back up your chest, his hands pressing into the pillow as he leaned in for your mouth. You stared at one another for a little while, your moans mingling together, and it was the most intimate moment you’d ever shared with anyone. 
“Good?” He asked. You were unsure if he was asking how you were or if you were enjoying yourself, but regardless, the answer was the same. 
“Really good,” you smiled, running your hand down his chest. 
His thrust were getting messier, less controlled, less strategic, so it was no surprise when he had a confession to tell you, kissing you once again. “I’m-I’m… close.” 
He’d exceeded the predicted three pumps at least… “Hey, you can go a little harder,” you whispered against his mouth. 
He grunted, slacking at your words but quickly got a hold of himself. Each snap of his hips got firmer and harsher, fucking – because there was no other way to describe it – you into the expensive bed. Your cries of pleasure came out stunted and unsteady, his own grunts louder now, gruffer as he chased his end. 
“Seokjin –!” Your hands fell to his ass, holding him tight as he pounded into you. “Don’t stop,” you encouraged, which seemed to tip him over the edge – quickly. 
“Fuck. Coming…”” His face fell into the crook of your neck, panting as he tried to keep moving, and then he froze, his body hot, partly sweaty, a long drawn-out groan sounding against your ear as he came. 
You wrapped your arms around him, keeping him to you because in all honesty, you didn’t want to let him go. You could feel his heart beating against your chest rapidly, even after he’d partially caught his breath, and you knew yours was beating just as fast. You kissed his shoulder when he kissed yours, and slowly he lifted his head, turning to give you a drunken smile. He sighed contently. “That honestly beats any orgasm I’ve ever given myself lately.” 
“I should hope so!” You burst out laughing, not quite expecting those to be his first words and he immediately joined you before hugging you tight. 
.
.
You awoke naturally, light from outside peeking through the loosely closed drapes. Seokjin had his arm around you, his body curved into yours, and you could tell by his breathing he was still very much sound asleep. Proving your point, he grunted softly, rolling onto his back, his grip on you loosening. Carefully, you turned around to face him, taking in the sight of his sleeping form. His lips seemed to be pouted, eyebrows furrowed slightly – of course he had an adorable sleeping face. Of fricking course. 
The bed sheets were pushed down, draped across his pelvis, one hip sticking out, while his broad chest and toned stomach laid bare. You found yourself smiling, insanely happy, wondering if you’d been a saint in a past lifetime – you had to have been. How else had you hit the jackpot? A kind-hearted, beautiful man with a banging body? You’d struck big. 
Wanting to leave him sleep longer, you got up quietly, needing to pee, not worrying that you were butt naked, and as you left the bathroom, you moved to the closet (room) to fish for your phone in your purse. You’d left it there all evening yesterday, not wanting to be interrupted, and low and behold you had a bunch of notifications waiting for you on the screen. You got back into bed, getting comfy before you scrolled through them. Most were unimportant, news updates and social media notifications. You had a text from your mom reminding you to call your grandmother soon, one reminder regarding your phone bill going out tomorrow and then, from half an hour ago, a text message from your best friend. Why the hell was she up so early on a Sunday?! 
Soojung (8:32am) Spill the details girl! How was Mr. Dilf 🥵👨🏻🍆💦 
You snorted, pretty loudly, couldn’t help it, and when you realised you shoved a hand over your mouth, hoping you hadn’t woken your boyfriend (yes, it felt so good to finally use that word) up. You glanced over, but his eyes were still shut, a peaceful look on his face, so with a relieved inner sigh, you went back to your phone, wondering how you should reply. You had quite a lot to say, messaging her “the details” wouldn’t work. Maybe you could give her a summary? Until tomorrow when you could call her while Seokjin was at work. Maybe you could meet her for lunch. And who knew, you’d probably have more to tell her come then –
“Good morning, beautiful.” 
You jumped when you heard Seokjin’s voice, his arm wrapping around you once more as he snuggled closer, encasing you in his body warmth. 
“Seokjin,” you greeted, instantly shoving your phone onto the nightstand, face down. “Good morning.” 
“Mmm.” He rubbed his face into the crook of your neck, burrowing his arm under the covers to touch your skin, hand cupping your waist. He was still sleepy, voice groggy. You settled into his hold, closing your eyes. With a kiss to the top of your shoulder, he spoke again.  “What were you snorting at?”
Your eyes immediately flew open. He’d heard that? “Nothing,” you tried to reply casually. 
He laughed, the throaty sound shooting up your body, leaving warmth in its wake. “Come on, something made you laugh.” He lifted his head, looking at you pointedly, plump lips pressed together, mouth curving up slightly. “You have to share, it’ll be rude not to.” 
It took you a second to give in. “Fine.” It was probably time to let him know anyway. Soojung might try to kill you, but she couldn’t get you if you were gated in at Seokjin’s home…  You reached for your phone and flashed the screen on, holding it out to him. “Soojung’s an idiot,” you sighed. 
He delicately held the back of your hand, steadying the device so he could read the messages. A second later he was deeply amused, lips quirking before he let out a little laugh. “Has that been my nickname the entire time?” 
“Maybe…” Amongst other things… They could wait till later though. 
He hummed, trying to keep his expression casual, but you could tell by his eyes how amused (and smug) he was. “The emojis add a nice touch.” 
You rolled your eyes, about to tell him to shut up, but immediately his lips were pressed against yours. He kissed you sweetly – which was all just an act. When he pulled away, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, tone arrogant. “So… how was Mr. Dilf?”
“Seokjin!” You exclaimed. This couldn’t be happening. He was just as bad as Soo and Taehyung. 
Laughing loudly, he kissed you again, caging you under him smoothly. Your hands reached for his biceps, feeling them flex underneath you. “Was it good enough for a round two? Don’t expect me to keep my hands off you,” he told you, his fingers tickling your stomach as his face fell to your neck, kissing and biting the skin. 
You began to laugh, squirming under him, but no matter how much you tried to free yourself it was impossible. “Stop,” you whined. “Seokjin, you’re tickling me!” He eased off with the tickling but his mouth only seemed to ramp up, his tongue licking up your throat. “You’re so sexy,” he groaned, meeting your gaze, and instantly laughed. “I love embarrassing you.” 
You grumbled, realising you’d started to blush. “I’m not embarrassed,” you insisted. “I’m turned on.” Two could play at that game. Seokjin’s eyes widened comically, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. 
“Yeah?” He murmured, getting a hold of himself, mouth ghosting over yours. You nodded, dragging your hands down his back to settle on his ass. You could feel his dick rousing between your thighs. It was so easy to get him. He was like putty in your hands. 
“You’re okay though, mm?” He asked, tone softening as he stared into your eyes. “Did you enjoy last night?”
“I thought that was obvious,” you informed him, but his tenderness didn’t go ignored. God, you were really lucky. “I feel so happy,” you grinned, moving to clasp your arms around his neck. He grinned too, teeth on show, and then you couldn’t hold off any longer, kissing him eagerly.  
“Fuck,” he breathed, after you’d just licked a strip up his jaw line. His hands clung to hips. “I want you in so many ways.” 
You gave him a dangerous smirk. “We have all week, I’m sure you’ll be successful.” 
Groaning, he seemed beside himself, skin hot and sweaty, his hair dishevelled, falling into his eyes, cheeks patched red. Finally, he settled on a decision. “Would you like to shower with me?”
“Okay,” you replied instantly, your excitement already tenfold, and suddenly you were in his arms, rising off the bed to be carried (naked) bridle style to the bathroom. “Seokjin!” You squealed, clinging onto him tightly, but all he did was laugh. You could get used to this. 
His walk-in shower was grand, practically a separate wet room – two glass doors leading inside and a marbled tiled bench to the left with two panelled windows behind it. There were two showerheads – one large one attached to the ceiling and the other jutting out from the wall. Seokjin chose the centre one, knocking it on and enclosing you both in hot water. Warmth radiated from beneath your feet too – heated flooring, of course. 
You spent the next ten minutes wrapped together kissing, hands exploring one another’s soapy bodies. It wasn’t long before there was a very obvious erection bobbing against your stomach. “Someone says hello again,” Seokjin hummed against your mouth, nipping your bottom lip before he broke away and chuckled. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been the cause of many an awkward boner.” 
You laughed, hooking one arm around his neck. “I noticed.” Your other hand wrapped around his dick, the wetness of his skin making it easy to glide your fist along the veiny shaft. You gazed up at him, admiring the way he’d pushed his wet hair above his forehead. He looked incredibly handsome – so handsome, you were finding it hard to control yourself. “Was this one of your ways?” You murmured. 
“Maybe,” he said with a smile, huffing out a little when your thumb grazed the sensitive slit across the head of his member. 
“I have a better idea…” You whispered, pushing a little at his chest. “Sit.” 
He obeyed, sitting on the bench while watching you wordlessly (but curiously), his eyes flashing when you moved to kneel in front of him. “Fuck,” he muttered, dick twitching in anticipation. You took him in your fist again, feeling oddly confident as you flicked out your tongue. It had been a long time since you’d sucked dick but you were more than ready. 
You washed your tongue across the head, hearing him grunt above you, and encouraged, you took him in your mouth, sucking firmly around the tip. His hands instantly reached for your head, fingers carding through your hair. He groaned lowly, thighs tense, but when you started to jerk your fist along his shaft, he relaxed into the pleasure, murmuring your name. 
“Okay, this idea seems better than mine,” he admitted, voice tight. 
You hummed in agreement, vibrations travelling up his length which made him groan, fingers in your hair tightening. Taking him deeper, you washed and swirled your tongue as best you could around the thick flesh. Seokjin’s length was impressive, but you had all week to grow accustomed to it, for now, you had your hand, continuing to stimulate him with both that and your mouth. The water from the shower hit your back and calves, the heat beneath you making sure you didn’t grow cold. 
“Should we go back to the bedroom?” Seokjin asked, sounding concerned, despite how good you were making him feel. A hand ran down your back soothingly. “Your knees will start aching.” 
Pulling off him, a string of saliva that attached you breaking apart, you shook your head and ran your palm all the way up his length, twisting against the tip. He bucked into your hold. “It’ll be worth it.” 
Seokjin let out a low growl, eyes dark. “Don’t say things like that.” 
You smirked, spreading your saliva up and down him slowly before speeding up, concentrating on the head. Seokjin’s mouth was open, his breathing shallow, chest littered with red blotches, making it painfully obvious how aroused he was. You wanted to run your hands all over the muscular torso, mouth too – but that could wait. First of all, you wanted to make him cum. 
“You have a pretty big dick. Has anyone ever told you that?” You purred, eyes flicking down to his crotch. 
Seokjin grinned confidently, the hand in his hair reaching to cup your cheek. “You seemed to handle it very well last night.” 
Oh. Heat exploded through your body, settling between your legs, and you took him back in your mouth, a hiss leaving his throat. He tapped your chin, gaining your attention. “Y/N, look at me,” he commanded softly. 
And you did. You watched every bit of pleasure that flitted across his face as you continued to suck his dick, never breaking eye contact, even when he did; eyelids closed, face scrunched up as he came down your throat a few minutes later…
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Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021
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