#but he also has a master’s degree in being a dumbass

[incorrectantfam]

Scott: Hi, I’d like to schedule a doctor’s appointment.

Receptionist: Okay, how about 10 tomorrow?

Scott: Oh, I don’t need that many.

#ant man #ant man and the wasp #amatw #antman #incorrectantfam #marvel #incorrect quotes #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #ant fam #scott lang #this man has a master’s degree in electrical engineering #but he also has a master’s degree in being a dumbass #the duality of man

[tgcg]

the master baiter

TG: dont be mad

TG: ok thats like asking water not to be wet but

CG: WATER ISN'T FUCKING WET GOD DAMMIT.

TG: look whatever remember when you said you would die for me

TG: is that karkat in the room with us right now

======

CG: I'M DYING "FOR YOU" EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PEEL OPEN THOSE SHIT-EATING LIPS YOU KEEP PULLED TAUT OVER YOUR DRONING IGNORANCE SHAFT.

TG: heheheh

======

CG: YOUR WORDSLUDGE SPEARS EVERY PARTICLE OF MY BODY WITH PINPOINT STRIDERIAN IDIOCY.

TG: oh shit here we go

CG: A VERBAL BARRAGE THAT PULVERIZES MY FLESH INTO A FINE RED MIST, KILLING ME INSTANTLY. WIPING ME THE FUCK OUT, TO SUCH AN INCREDIBLE DEGREE THAT PALEONTOLOGISTS CAN'T FULLY DISCERN IF A "KARKAT" FUCKING EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

CG: THEY'D BE SCRATCHING THEIR NUGBONES OVER IT FOR FUCKING SWEEPS, IF NOT FOR THE SHOCKING REALIZATION MERE MINUTES INTO THEIR DEBATES THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.

======

CG: AND YET THE TEMPORAL DEVICE STILL SWAYS TO AND FRO IN CONSTERNATION. VEXED BY THE COMPLETE MENTAL VACANCY PUT BEFORE IT BY MY HUMBLE SACRIFICE, BOUND BY ITS COSMIC ROLE, BEGRUDGED BY MY UNSOLICITED DEATH CLOCKING IT INTO OVERTIME. IT HAS BETTER SHIT TO DO, GOD DAMMIT! IT HAS A LUSUS AND A HIVE TO GET BACK TO!

CG: "WHAT IS THIS. WHO LET THIS ASSHOLE IN HERE," IT SAYS. THEY AREN'T EVEN QUESTIONS, JUST ORBITAL SIGHS OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE. A REALITY NOW KEENLY AWARE OF ITS OWN LAUGH TRACK.

CG: AND ITS PENDULUM TEETERS, TENTATIVE IN ITS OWN DISBELIEF AND PROFOUND APATHY.

TG: damn

======

CG: "THIS SCUMBAG ISN'T EVEN GODTIER YET," IT POINTS OUT. THE AUDIENCE FLIPS THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT, AGHAST AT THIS REVELATION.

TG: hahaha

CG: IT WELLS UP SUCH A THRUM OF FUCKING ENNUI THAT THE TIMEPIECE FLIPS OFF-KILTER, LANDING SQUARELY IN THE "DUMBASS" ZONE WITH A "FUCK IT" LOUD ENOUGH TO REVERBERATE THROUGHOUT PARADOX SPACE.

======

CG: IT THEN ELECTS TO KICK MY PATHETIC FUCKING HALF-CORPSE BACK INTO THE LIVING PLANE AND FORCE ME, VENGEFULLY FROM THE AUDACITY OF MY OWN IDIOCY, TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE AD NAUSEAM

CG: UNTIL EXISTENCE ITSELF FINALLY CROAKS UNDER THE COMBINED WEIGHT OF OUR COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

CG: BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD I BE IF I EVER GOT TO HAVE A BREAK?

======

TG: yep there he is thats him offincer

TG: the man after my own heart

TG: thats a karkat brand "soft yes" if i ever heard one and i know my karkatisms dude im a goddamn graduate in karkatology

TG: i got my degree in this shit

TG: im rocking up to our convos with the dumbass black square hat thing cocked 45 degrees

TG: literally incapable of snapping it back kinda by design of the stupid thing but damn if im not doing it anyways im emanating the snappitudes

TG: im rocking my intelligence right now

TG: also water is absolutely wet dude its like the wettest thing on the planet

CG: I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF AGAIN

TG: yeah you are

CG: FUCK. I AM.

======

CG: I SAID THE LAST THREE TIMES IT'S A CONDITIONAL TERM--

TG: and im saying its common sense like being wet isnt conditional when youre the perpetual thing of wettening

CG: NO

TG: and brother it is THE wet

TG: like following your conditional argument

TG: if water isnt wet then the other water molecules are constantly making each other fuckin wet so its a moot point

TG: great philosophical debate

TG: which came first the water or the wet?

CG: DAVE

TG: think about it all those particles are wetting each other up all the time and shit

TG: its a fucked up display

CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

======

TG: pretty much a perpetual orgy of the elements

CG: DUDE.

TG: that sounds kinda sick actually if you dont think about what it means

TG: h2orgy

CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO VETO THIS STUPID DISCUSSION--

TG: tell me im wrong dude

CG: I'M UNIVERSE-APPOINTED TO HOVER AROUND YOU POINTING OUT EVERY DUMBASS TAKE YOU HAVE FOR THE REST OF TIME.

TG: thats so beautiful to me

TG: i could cry

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #comix #the master baiter #tabbydraw #this is my answer to artblock #late nite tgcg surprise

[gay-jesus-probably]

Your dad is a based capitalist. I'm sure he feels shame for having you as a child, but whatever. Capitalism rules

Anon, my dad is sixty-seven. He's spent most of his life being flooded with cold war propaganda, which he blindly accepted as fact. I do not expect nuanced understanding of economic theory from him. Bless his heart, he doesn't even understand that communism and socialism aren't interchangeable words, I don't really consider him to be a source of in-depth political opinions.

Anyways, while dad is a capitalist and kind of a dumbass, he's also very much aware that both of his children are socialists, and... he doesn't care! Why the fuck would he? He's a decent father, and so he understands that his adult children will have different opinions on major topics. My sibling and I understand why dad's an idiot about this stuff, so we don't bother getting mad about it, and while dad doesn't understand WHY we hate capitalism so much, he does know that our political stances are based in thinking life should be better for people, and that's good enough for him.

Anon, idk what's going in your personal life, but if you genuinely believe that reasonable parents would stop loving you over mildly conflicting political opinions, then that's really sad, and I'm sorry your own family has failed you so badly.

also for future reference, if you're trying to instill a sense of shame in me based on parental opinions, you'll have better luck invoking the mom card instead; she's the highest authority in this family, and always has been. She got a masters degree in chemistry in the 1980's, that woman is not even remotely in the business of fucking around. Mom is absolutely terrifying in the best way, and I respect her political opinions a hell of a lot more than dads.

#anyways thank you for the funniest anon hate i've ever gotten #this might actually beat the person who accused me of being a nazi for having talked about enjoying steven universe several years ago

[toxic-ship-tournament]

ROUND 2 / SIDE A / POLL 2

Esmerelda Poofenplotz x Alice Luoja (@cantdanceflynn) vs Res x Leo (@adanaac)

who makes up your ship?:

Esmeralda Poofenplotz(Canon Phineas and Ferb character(although I draw her differently from canon)) and Alice Luoja(Background character turned Phineas and Ferb oc)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

THEY BASICALLY STARTED OUT AS TWO DUMBASS TOXIC AF TEENAGERS GOING TO EVIL SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER AND BEING THE TERRORS OF THE SCHOOL(POOFENPLOTZ BC SHES BIG ON BEAUTY AND WOULD BASICALLY DESTROY EVERYONE'S SELF ESTEEM AND ALICE BC. SHES WILLING TO KILL ANYONE WHO RLY FUCKS W HER), AND WHILE THEY ORIGINALLY HAD A RIVALRY IT GOT A LIL TOO HOMOEROTIC VERY QUICKLY AND THEY DON'T RLY KNOW HOW BUT THEY ENDED UP DATING. THEY ENDED UP, SURPRISE SURPRISE, RUINING EACH OTHER EVEN FURTHER THEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE ALREADY TRAUMATIZED!!!! A TYPICAL INTERACTION BETWEEN EM PRETTY MUCH WENT ALONG THE LINES OF POOFENPLOTZ POKING FUN AT SOMETHING ABOUT ALICES BODY OR PERSONALITY SHE KNEW WOULD TICK ALICE OFF("YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT THROWING UP YOUR LUNCH LATER COULDN'T HURT"), ALICE GETTING PISSED OFF AND PULLING A KNIFE ON HER("YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR TONGUE, STOP THAT HORRIBLE NOISE YOU CALL A VOICE"), AND THEN SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN OR ONE OF THEM WOULD FUMBLE OR FLIRT AND THEY'D JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL BANTER AND TERRORIZING PEOPLE. THEY DID CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND WHATEVER THEY WERE EXPERIENCING CERTAINLY FIT SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE STRANGE AND NEBULOUS RANGE OF ROMANTIC LOVE, LIKE THEY DEFINITELY LIKED EACH OTHER, THEY WERE JUST TOXIC AS SHIT AND HAVING THEIR BEHAVIORS EXPANDED UPON OR REINFORCED BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. EVENTUALLY ALICES OBSESSION W GODHOOD AND HER IDEA OF PERFECTION (ONE THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE, EVEN IF POOFENPLOTZ MADE IT MORE PHYSICAL) ENDED UP DRIVING THE TWO APART, WITH HOW HORRIBLE ALICES DECLINE WAS, AND POOFENPLOTZ ENDED UP BASICALLY LEAVING AND IGNORING HER AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SNAP HER OUT OF HER DECLINE BUT ONLY PULLED HER FURTHER IN. AS IT STANDS NOW IN THE PRESENT, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A COMPLICATED SPIRAL OF "POOFENPLOTZ ACTUALLY HEALED AND REALIZED HOW AWFUL SHE WAS BEING AND WHILE SHE STILL HAD A DEGREE IN EVIL SCIENCE SHE HAD TO USE SO SHE MIGHT AS WELL GET A JOB DOING THAT, SHES ALSO RLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING W THE CAST AND HELP THEM, ESPECIALLY MILLIE AND PINKY, WHILE ALSO DEALING W " WHOOPS YOUR EX IS BACK IN TOWN AND SHES NOW BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE DEATHS THEN MOST FULL ON TERRORISM COMBINED, BUT SHE IS ALSO STILL KINDA HOT SO *NONCOMMITTAL HAND GESTURE*, YA KNOW?", MEANWHILE ALICE IS "OH RIGHT. SHE QUALIFIES FOR LOVEMUFFIN TOO. IM ALLOWED TO DENY ON HER ON TERMS OF HER BEING MY EX, RIGHT? BUT ALSO IM STILL GONNA INVITE HER TO OUR MEETINGS AND ALSO OFFER TO LET HER " LEAD" THE CULT IVE MADE THAT CONSISTS BASICALLY JUST OF MY VERY ABUSED OWN SON AND A VERY ABUSED TEENAGER WITH ME BC IF I CAN CHANGE HER MIND I CAN CHANGE ANYONES!"

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

Esmeralice, https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnP0Xop8gS5VdFNCP4Uetvq2pM5A9NZTe <- BAD PLAYLIST BY MY STANDARDS OF USUALLY A HUNDRED SONGS AT LEAST BUT ITLL DO FOR NOW

****

who makes up your ship?:

Res and Leo

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Leo can’t remember anything that has happened to him before the age of twelve. All anyone knows is that he was in an accident that should have killed him, then he returned with an indestructible body and a void where his personality should be. He cannot comprehend good or evil, does not understand the concept known as ‘choice’, and cannot envision an existence where Res isn’t his Master. He imprinted onto Res the moment he met the other man and pushed himself into Res’ life without considering whether or not Res might want it. His first Master did not pass, he simply changed how he looked, and what he looks like now is Res. Period. He has nothing to offer, nothing to say, no emotions and no heart to give. All he knows are the facts, and the facts tell him that there is no Leo without Res. So he’ll make sure that there’s no Res without Leo. Res has always been very into science, but he isn’t too fond of how there are a bit too many restrictions on the experiments he can perform, and he’s even less fond of how they die whenever he tries some of his more ‘exciting’ stuff. Thankfully he has Leo, his little obedient puppy who will obey his every word and donate his body for research. Of course, he’s never asked him whether he was okay with that, but signing a consent form is so old school. He believes that we should be doers, not dreamers, and he’s always wanted to see what the insides of Leo’s body looked like. And all the resistance it’s putting up just makes it all the more exciting. Leo spells unending excitement, and that’s all the reason Res needs to make sure no one else has him. Res is life, but he is not Leo’s purpose for living, because Leo has not questioned whether or not life has a purpose. He doesn’t need to. Res is Leo’s Master, and Leo’s Master is the very concept of life itself. Without his Master, the earth does not spin, and the sun does not shine. Why would it be anything else? Leo is not a person, he is Res’ dream. The dream of a creature that would do nothing but obey his every word, and the dream of an anomaly that he could endlessly explore without an expiration date. A thing that Res will never get bored of. To Res, Leo is just an adorable lab rat who happens to be the only one in the world who can fulfill his dreams. He does not care for Leo, the person, because Leo is not a person, but he does care about Leo, the humanoid playground that belongs to Res, and Res alone. This is love, because love is when someone makes your heart race, and love is when someone makes you feel like you’re free-falling into obsession. Res loves him, loves him, loves him loves him loves himloveshim. Just as we don’t get emotionally attached to the oxygen that keeps our heart beating, Leo does not get emotionally attached to Res, and he doesn’t need to. This isn’t love, it’s something more than that. Love can change, fade and evolve- it’s fickle, fleeting and easily manipulated. What Leo and Res have is a constant. Res belongs with Leo, and Leo belongs with Res. Don’t argue with the facts. Because you’re wrong, and Leo will make sure you know you’re wrong, no matter who you are. It’s a good thing they’re with each other, and no one else. (Leo is Uno's oc, Res is Canada's oc. Above description written by Uno. Canada's description below) They're basically like those AITA stories where both are the asshole and its a good thing they're together and making each other worse. btw Res is the short pink one and Leo is the tall one.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

#alice x esmerelda #res x leo #cantdanceflynn #adanaac #toxic ship tournament

[pfenniged]

Finally am catching up on Masters of the Air, an episode and a half to go. What follows is a list of things to note of very important and historical value:

Crosby:

Crosby is making some life choices and I didn't want to judge him for it but by halfway through Episode 8 I wanted to roundhouse kick this dumbass for not realizing the lady he's sleeping with is clearly a spy/undercover agent of some sort.

The only way Crosby could make it up to me was by sleeping through the most macho of all life events, D-Day, and I like to think it's his potential wife's retribution for him cheating on her.

Rosie Rosenthal:

I love how Rosie Rosenthal has grown from a background character introduced roughly halfway through the series to the biggest fucking Daddy this side of the Atlantic.

I aim to be Rosie Rosenthal when I grow up.

Also my mother said Rosie Rosenthal looks like Sidney Crosby which is the highest Canadian compliment.

The Tuskegee Airmen:

The Tuskegee airmen are fantastic and should have been included two episodes earlier because they're already far more memorable than half of the other characters we've met so far.

Captain Richard Macon is a ridiculously talented man who literally got a degree in Mathematics, flew with the Tuskegee Airmen, broke both his shoulder and neck while landing, then D-Day happened so they couldn't properly treat him, was thrown in a POW Camp, then the Germans finally were able to treat him, but he wasn't allowed to recuperate because the Russians were suddenly coming, and then this poor man was forced to let his fucking neck surgery of all things heal in a POW Camp until they were released.

He then went into business with Howard Hughes with a flight school, got a Masters degree in Mathematics, and became a Mathematics Professor. He is literally my other current idol.

Also the actor playing Colonel Benjamin O. Davis, Jr. has more charisma than half of the actors we've been pissing around with for this entire series and I should say it.

Bucky, Settle Down:

Also, Bucky is being a petulant little bitch, and I should also say it.

"Elvis is Racist?":

"Wait- so Elvis is racist?" - My Dad, forever referring to Austin Butler as Elvis.

Overall Assessment:

New favourite character assessment: Colonel Benjamin O. Davis Junior, Richard Macon, Rosie Rosenthal.

#personal #masters of the air #spoilers

[daisychainsandbowties]

how did you figure out that you’re nonbinary and that you specifically use they/them pronouns? /genq

oh okay so figuring out gender was a ‘casper is stupid for 17 entire years’ situation.

i basically came out of the cradle insisting that it was cringe and terrible of my parents to think of me as a girl. i was, emphatically, a Pokémon obsessed little guy since i could form entire sentences. but it was 2002, and frankly i was more concerned with how far i could spit and collecting spiders off the bushes to be worried about it. my parents (bless) were 100% cool with getting my clothes in the boys section & letting me do whatever i wanted (except get ice cream from the ice cream van every day. their one and only instance of homophobia 😔) so i didn’t really suffer, especially, beyond scowling at people in school when they dared to refer to me. 

it was pretty clear to me when i was 11 that having a cursed body was, indeed, going to be a curse. not worth mentioning how terrible and evil 11-14 was for me physically, tho to be fair i also took up swordfighting then so swings and roundabouts.

but yeah, around when i was 9 i knew there was a huge massive problem but then my mom got cancer (multiple myeloma) and… yeah gender crisis took a backseat while we watched her almost die about three times (pulmonory embolism, stem-cell transplant, getting shingles with no immune system bc chemo). my grandmother looked after me while Hospital.

unhelpful to the anti-trans-kids-existing demons bc she was also like intensely indulgent of my refusal to wear anything but my brazil football jersey. she let me eat nothing but artificial cheese slices put on a single slice of white bread and then microwaved because i had the massive trump card of not being allowed to see my mother for almost six months. i think she was grateful that i seemed to find the whole situation too serious to cry over. my best friend was a boy & he was pretty willing to be like ‘ok cool. ur not a girl. can we go on the trampoline?’ 

& then, when things calmed down & i was about 16/17, i had come out as gay (good for me) about two years before & then i realised i was oh fuck A Bit More Complicated than that i spent a while agonising over it. really a long walks on the beach pondering my gay ass type deal.

but then, just when i was kind of starting to vibe with being enby, I got really really sick, which lasted aboooout 5/6 years where it was just an old school platforming game but titled ‘casper tries not to die while trying to get a degree & two masters’). very do not pass go do not collect 200 of the universe to Do That. but hey. 

so it was around Pandemic when i finally got the brainspace to actually think, & i realised that i was definitely trans, probably nonbinary. i experimented for a while with different pronouns. realised my ‘dumbass nickname everyone has to call me’ was my ACTUAL NAME (never underestimate my stupidity and ignorance) & yeah at first i was thinking of going the hormones path (do not ever please god don’t get me started on how hard that is in this stupid bastard country. 5 years waiting period, on average. have to get diagnosed formally by a team of psychiatrists with what is characterised as a ‘mental illness’. have to ‘live’ - as Some Fucker sees it - as your ‘chosen’ gender for like two years AND be out to basically everybody - realistic and safe i say sarcastically i say while looking into the camera like i'm on the office - oh look i got started. anyway. bullshittery)

but eventually i realised huh nope i just wanted top surgery (same fucking deal with the health service tho) & for people to use they/them generally (i am not too fussed w/ pronouns for myself tho. like, a lot of my friends use he/him because frankly i deserve it most of the time with the himbo behaviour. professionally i insist on they/them for consistency. i get congnitive dissonance with she/her as in i get a weird shock & want to laugh & wonder who the fuck they’re talking about for a sec before i realise it’s me. but like, miffed too much i am not).

also gender is a big pendulum for me it’s an elliptic orbit sometimes for a few weeks i’m like a feminine guy and other times i feel like a masculine gay & sometimes i feel like the autism creature (bc i AM an autism creature, always). 

but i have, essentially, felt nonbinary always. trust me i have a pic of blue-eyed blond 5y/o me sitting on my bed in my Pokemon-themed room wearing a Manchester United jersey and holding my PS2 controller in my hands with a profoundly vacant and himboish expression on my face. it did fully take me 17 whole years to have my ‘oh’ moment about it, but a lot of that was profoundly indulgent parents who were you can’t even imagine how determined to not raise me the way they were raised - which meant, apparently, that if i wanted to be a spider-collecting, bug obsessed pokémon-fixated little guy who kept snapping branches off the bamboo and fashioning makeshift swords out of them - well then that was the creature they’d send to school every day. 

i think the tldr here is: casper stupid. gender a concept. 

#anon #'gender' i don't know her #casper lore dump

[boombox-fuckboy]

Hiyaaa

I'm thinking of listening to radio outcast and night shift..... Have u listened to them?? If u have could u tell me about the basic vibe of the story, the characters, etc

Thank you<3333

Both underrated and very well made productions. They feature very good soundwork, both in quality and design, a solid cast of VAs, and excellent cover art. The writing isn't life-changing but is good, just more in the entertaining sense. Both also have official art of all major characters if that's something you're interested in.

RADIO: Outcast has a sillier vibe (expected with comedy as a second genre) but intentionally so. The characters are wacky and memorable, though with a major cast of about four, you're unlikely to get mixed up anyway.

The main characters are Charles, a sharply dressed, self-impressed master conman who seems to be able to get himself into, and occasionally out of, any sort of trouble imaginable. Helix, former messenger goddess of sound who's spent the last few decades partying, but after being cast out by her abusive ex-girlfriend is now stuck in the 1880s instead of the 1980s. And Jesse, a young cowboy with a perfect shot, strong sense of duty and general dislike of social situations, seeking to avenge his father (and is unfortunately now stuck with these two).

They're also crowdfunding for season 2 for another week

Night Shift fills a very specific personal need: fictional investigation/indie docudrama podcast (big fan), but, in an urban fantasy setting. This flavour of urban fantasy is humans only, just with magic. In the setting, major magics have been gone some time, but elements of it are everywhere including:

Small inherited magic such as perfectly recalling a memory from a photo you took or luminescent threads in your hair

Magi-biotech which is grueling to induce, tightly controlled, and mimics superpowers

The ability for remaining ambient magic to warp people to various degrees, body and mind, into Shades, who are poorly understood and potentially powerful, but rarely ever the threat most people think they are

Rare, small phemomena also caused by ambient magic which may include holes in reality

More of a serious tone, but it doesn't take itself uncomfortably seriously either.

There's a lot of characters, but Sebastian, the lead, is a good presenter and will introduce them all, sometimes more than once. A decent number of characters have very distinct voices, and there's always transcripts. They're a decent crowd, some stand out more than others. Sebastian himself is a good balance of sharp and clever and an absolute dumbass. He has a strong sense of justice but open willingness to change his opinions on new information, which I think is a good combination for a reporter, but his drive and impulse might not be such a good fit as a barista.

Majority queer characters as is common for pods, though being early days a lot is still word of god (processing how surreal that would've been a decade ago. "Majority queer characters as is standard.").

Profiles under the cut.

RADIO: Outcast

Synopsis, via the official website [accessed 2022-06-17]:

"When Helix, the Messenger God of Sound, gets yanked from the 1980s and sent to the 1880s by her abusive ex-lover, the God of Time, she must forge unlikely alliances with two humans: Jesse, a cowboy out for revenge, and Charles,  a conman running from his past. The three of them embark on a journey across the American West, each with their own goals and secrets waiting to be revealed.

Throughout the season, the characters' travels take them to dangerous wastelands, the lawless town of Deadwood, roller rinks in the middle of nowhere, a magical showboat on the Missouri River, and many more unexpected places. Magic and the American West collide in this kooky western about three strangers struggling to work together"

Genres: Western, fantasy, comedy, with sci-fi elements.

Available on: All major podcasting apps, Spotify.

Transcripts: Available on the website in pdf format [link]

Content Warnings: Spoken at the start of each episode (included in the transcript)

On Tumblr [here]

Night Shift: An Urban Fantasy Audio Drama

Synopsis, via the podcast feed [accessed 2022-06-17]:

"Sebastian Fen finds himself entangled in a series of unexplainable events in Echor City, from the conspiracies surrounding the biotechnology giant Augur Corp to the secrets of the magical anomalies that transform those who encounter them into the stuff of nightmares...

Night Shift is a queer-led, serialized docudrama. Elements of magic, science fiction, mystery, and mild horror throughout."

Genres: Urban fantasy, investigation, "true" crime.

Available on: All major podcasting apps, Spotify.

Transcripts: Linked in the description of each episode as a google-drive hosted pdf.

Content Warnings: Written out in the description of each episode

On Tumblr [here]

#night shift #radio: outcast #asks #█████ posts

[mayfly-maycry]

I saw you mention you’re watching one piece and you got me wondering: what are your fav anime’s and why?

My very first official ask :0 let’s do this :)

Oh boy, *cracks knuckles* my favorite topic!

This got longer than I thought, so a cut for those who don’t want to hear my thoughts on like 11 different animes. They’re in chronological order of when I watched them, since the degree I like a show at any given point is incredibly variable haha

Fullmetal Alchemist (specifically Brotherhood): this was one of my first animes, and I’m a huge fan of the alchemy system, plus an excellent balance of trauma and happy endings. I think I need to rewatch it, since I’ve been informed that there’s a lot I missed because I watched it before I developed standards/critical thinking skills.

Attack on Titan: this was my introduction to anime, but it only gets better on rewatch. The attention to detail is insane; you can pick out details related to reveals SEASONS later. I didn’t even notice until I rewatched it back in December, but AOT is so full of jokes that it would’ve been a comedy if the stakes were any lower.

My Hero Academia: look, hear me out, I know what the fandom’s become, but it’s not like that. First of all, you lose a lot in the anime; Horikoshi has thought through a lot more of how a “world with superpowers” differs from ours than you ever see in the anime. A lot of it is small things, like how the clothing industry accounts for metamorphic quirks; the biggest issue is how dirty Villain Academia was done; the anime cut like half of the bad side of superpowered society, and by extension the villain motivations, out with that. Personally, the ending I’m rooting for is Shigaraki tearing apart society, being defeated (not redeemed), then Deku working to build it back up better; unfortunately, it looks like that’s not happening from where the manga is headed.

Demon Slayer: tbh, I don’t have much to say about this one. The art is gorgeous, the powers are cool, and I enjoy watching it. That’s enough for me.

Haikyuu: it’s a bunch of boys being boys. I love them all dearly. That’s all. If I remember correctly, I also unlocked the “character analysis” skill when I watched this the first time so props on that.

Jujutsu Kaisen: I don’t even know anymore man, I’ve been watching, reading, and loving this story for so long I can’t even pinpoint what I like about it anymore. Still highly recommend.

Spy x Family: I love the characters and their interactions. This one may or may not be related to a crossover fic dropping Itadori Yuuji and Saiki Kusuo in here that’s been brewing in my head for a while now.

Bungo Stray Dogs: this is another one where I love the characters. The power system is pretty cool and the plot is mid at best, but the characters *cheff’s kiss* are phenomenal.

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: this was the first and only story I’ve ever seen using an omniscient first person POV, and the way it was done was masterful. You, the viewer, have the same knowledge as Saiki; you can see disasters coming just as well as he can. And since he is practically omnipotent (and his motivations align), he tends to take steps to rectify these situations, which is exactly what I generally want to reach through the screen and do. This resulted in one of the most satisfying watch experiences of my life. Highly recommend.

The Case Study of Vanitas: this is another one where it’s just a bunch of dumbasses messing around with a sprinkling of trauma. That’s it, that’s all I have to say. I very much enjoyed it.

One Piece: you mentioned this one in your ask, and I gotta say, I would not have committed to over 1000 episodes if it wasn’t on this list. Some people say it gets good around episode 300, but I thoroughly disagree; the genre just changes right around there as the villains get stronger than the Strawhats and the stakes rise. It was good before that, a bunch of dumbasses messing around on a boat, saving a nation from tyranny and fighting god along the way; my favorite. The attention to detail, character development (might have to revoke this one if the Weak Trio keep getting done dirty post-TS), the actually GOOD takes on real issues; I could go arc by arc, but this has gotten long enough haha 😅

#mayfly mayreply #oo I get an ask tag now! this is fun!!

[serenawitchwriter]

BNHA Fusion (LOV/Deku)

shigideku

oh boy

both have been deeply wronged by society

unstable but also instantly aware that they’re more compatible than either is comfortable with

insane, muttering, constantly arguing with them-self

black curls that’s longer the deku’s hair normally is. scarred so badly. but decent skin. eye bags, big green eyes. Mikumo vibes

twitchy hands, will scratch anywhere, plays with lip, constantly writing. hands are never still

wears one fingered gloved so he doesn’t decay everything constantly

a genius, master of planning and deconstruction. take the moral limiters of izuku and he could end any hero quirkless

has a level of morality but it’s hard to define. totally down for crime most of the time, loves fighting, but doesn’t target kids or civilians. has a lot clearer motives than shigaraki did alone

they are gonna take down the government probably

daddy issues x2

laughs like a crazy person, wide scary smile

traumatized, ptsd, anxiety, dissociates, ocd. babe has a lot of mental illnesses

plays video games to calm down

loves homemade food

a loner

paranoid

quirk is just... oof. like a nuke going off basically. so fucking destructive, and you know they know how to use it

hates everyone including them-self

self aware of their situation. recognized that they’re being used and targeted and manipulated. on both ends. Shigi sees how he’s being used by afo, Izu sees how the adults in his life have failed him

honestly kinda baby, they need fucking love

hero students and lov members would put aside differences to help them honestly. the world wouldn’t be okay with it, but their friends are loyal

not quite a villain anymore, but definitely not a hero. constantly has internal conflict over this. like they don’t want to give up on hero dreams times 2 but also recognize how utterly fucked society is and wants to tear it down. they’re so full of hate, but want to maintain hope just out of spite at this point

whatever the hell they’re doing they’re not giving up on it

has the power to reshape society and is going to fucking use it

i don’t need to tell you that they’re fucking terrifying

togodeku

obsessive x2

love heroes x2

long curly green hair worn in twin pony tails, 

short, decent sized chest, big red eyes, and a smile that’s too big. fangs. freckles. 

muscular but in a compact way

more stable than they should be

loves themselves.

in love with uraraka, but gets crushes on everyone else extremely easily. ura is their forever girl though

loves making and consuming fan content. a fangirl to a scary degree

an all might stan

naturally, also loves k-pop

no fashion sense, they wish they had it, but they don’t. probably just wearing t-shirts and jeans most of the time. is still kinda hot, but isn’t doing anything to play it up

will hunt you for sport

incredibly fast, loves running and chasing in general

bunny themed outfit still

changing into others is one of their passions. izu lowkey loves this quirk. they’re experts at mimicking others. izuku’s analysis skills makes them too good at this

feral x2

honestly just here for the lols

still wants to be a hero, but isn’t doing a good job of it

easily distracted

probably knits for some reason?

makes gifts for friends and crushes

way more dangerous than they’re letting on. too many people are underestimating them

cute as a button

dabideku

daddy issue x2

bitter as hell

black and white hair, curly. darker at the roots. 

keeps dabi’s scars. green eyes. tall and muscular, lots of piercings. most of Izuku’s details are lost in the scaring

coffee addict

self centered, has a lot of enemies. including endeavor and bakugou, and every middle school bully.

more empathetic though, can have friends and value them, just don’t piss him off because he will hold lifelong grudges

very good at switching back and forth between scary and threatening to cute and innocent. usually the innocence is mocking but it can read as genuine

a good actor in general, but a terrible liar

quirk is not doing him any favors, still has the feedback, but flaming tentacles gives him more control over the fire itself

reads a lot of comic books

a hypocrite

likes to dramatically point at things while shouting

loves solving mysteries and kinda wants to go down a sherlock holmes or batman route

is not pulling that off, maybe jason todd vibes at best

high key just a dramatic dork that’s too good at murder

chaotic neutral to chaotic good

talks too much

good at pissing people off

kinda deserves to get the shit beaten out of him, and i feel like bakugou can pull it off

twicedeku

neurotic

they love their friends so much though

oblivious as hell

like a genius in observation and knowing stuff, but a dumbass at applying that knowledge

would make a good information broker if they could learn to shut the hell up

are they basically deadpool? kinda.

short green hair, cut close to their head

long face, covered in scars, tallish, looks like an adult

pouts and cries easily

smartass

talks to himself x2 god help us

overpowered with his quirk. god help us

laughs at his own jokes

always hungry

winks at the fourth wall

has many stims and hobbies, hands are litterally never not doing something. he’s the kind of person you’ll glance away from, turn back, and find juggling.

we’re talking cat’s craddle, rubix cubes, instruments, puzzles, tearing up candy wrappers, painting his nails, braiding friendship bracelets. he is never still

directionless. lacks motivation

internalizes criticism really easily, to the point that he gets depressed and struggles to act

indecisive to a clinical degree

probably has and anxiety disorder but refuses to acknowledge it

is pretty fucking baby. protect him

spindeku

lol what a nerd

fanboy x2

cries easily. izuku’s habit of crying does not decrease

ultimate ride or die

still a lizard, mohawk is green instead of pink

mixed feelings on stain

searching for the ultimate person to stan. all might stays in their heart, but they want to be edgier

absolutely uses a sword. not the dumb one that spinner uses but it is still a buster sword that’s too large for them. they’re strong enough to swing it around like nothing, i’m picturing cloud from final fantasy’s sword. again they’re really nerdy

disillusioned with society and heroes. both are marked by discrimination and have recognized the failure of heroes and government. aren’t as bitter but determined to do something

sassy but not quite sarcastic

gives really good advice. the friend you go to to have an emotional breakdown

considering pursuing psychology more for this reason. realizes he can use the skill to help a lot of people

isn’t willing to give up fighting or using his sword though. he has an aesthetic

would get along fantastically with tokoyami

also the friend that feeds you. can’t cook very well but always has something on him to give you when he notices you haven’t eaten in a long time.

loves bubble tea

social anxiety, if it weren’t for the fact that he already had friends and a mission, he probably wouldn’t leave the house

surprisingly close to shigaraki, enough of a gamer to play with him, and even gets away with calling him out

(i’m debating how comfortable i am with fusing kids with adults. it seems weird to me, especially the bigger the age difference)

(masterlist)

#fusion au #bnha #mha #midoriya izuku #shigideku #togadeku #dabideku #twicedeku #kurideku #spindeku #shigaraki #dabi #twice #toga #serenawitchwriter

[memeadonna]

Mind Over Monster

I wrote this for a friend, so if you're reading this: Hi RJ!

You and the Bakusquad (plus Shinsou and Jirou, because it is a crime to exclude them) survived the zombie apocalypse, and now roam around hunting down the remaining monsters and rescuing survivors. But you feel like everyone except you has a place in your little group. When someone in your group makes a potentially fatal mistake, you set out to prove yourself. But the question remains: did you ever even need to in the first place?

You kept your eyes closed as you listened, searching in the murmurs around you for something unquiet and unorganized. That was how you would know if there was danger. The mist had long since retreated, but the wind carried it to places where it would rest and collect and re-emerge, using the dead to do its bidding. “Anything?” you jumped and opened your eyes to see one of your companions balancing precariously on the roof of your car.

Kaminari Denki never stopped smiling, no matter what. And considering he was the only reason that you were able to drive this electric car anywhere at all, he was one of your team’s most valuable members. You… also didn’t need to know that he was eye-fucking you right now, but it wasn’t like he could help it. There’s only so much you can turn off in the human mind, and despite your best efforts you usually ended up reading too much into things. It was nice to know that all of your companions thought you were attractive, at least.

This had all started with an accident. An unknown person had been born with some sort of zombification quirk that turned people into mindless zombies forced to do the user’s bidding if they inhaled a mist the user secreted. That person had been killed in a violent car accident that had sent them over the edge of a bridge and plummeting to the dark, angry waters below. As they bled out, their quirk had somehow activated. Maybe it was their way of saying that they did not want to die. Mist had billowed up around them, and within a few hours everybody in that prefecture had been infected by the quirk. The infection had spread across the country and then the world within a few weeks, and now, a year later, this was all that remained. The creatures had never been meant to exist this long, so eventually they began to mutate as well. They gained the ability to infect other creatures through bites, or even absorb body parts and (in the cases of the rare bigger monsters) whole people.

You and your companions had been training to become heroes, but when society had collapsed your goals had changed to survival. Now you travelled around acting like vigilantes, tracking down reported cases of those creatures and protecting civilians. Your class had split off into three groups (as had your grade’s class B), and everybody in your squadron had a purpose.

Bakugou Katsuki was obviously your firepower. He was also your self-appointed leader, and was great at barking orders. Kirishima Eijirou was your muscle – the creatures couldn’t infect him with whatever virus they had (or absorb him, though many had tried), and usually he and Bakugou did most of the heavy lifting when it came to the fighting. Ashido Mina and Sero Hanta were both masters at setting traps or helping with evacuation efforts, and they were also both charismatic and cheerful and kept your group in high spirits. Shinsou Hitoshi could almost always control the monsters to some degree, and even if he couldn’t, he was also adept with his capture weapon and could easily change gears mid-battle. Kiyoka Jirou could detect the monsters moving from miles away, and the speakers on her hero costume were both useful in battle and in evacuation efforts.

Jirou and Shinsou both basically rendered you redundant. Your quirk was a mind reading/telepathy quirk that allowed you to locate monsters (they couldn’t suppress their subconscious thoughts, so it was easier to read their minds), but the more of them there were the more useless you became. You already tended to get lost in your thoughts, but with all of these thoughts swirling around you…

“Hey!” Denki snapped his fingers in front of your face. “Are you okay? Any monsters nearby?”

“Sorry,” you smiled up at him. “No, I don’t hear anything. Should be safe to stop here and recharge.” You hopped off the roof and went to go help pitch your tents.

While you loved the electric vehicle you had looted, it could only go so far with one charge, and it took a lot out of Denki to keep it working, especially considering he couldn’t just charge out of outlets anymore. That meant the group had to stop and make camp in the middle of the day and let him charge up the car. Despite being electric, it wasn’t exactly the most efficient car in the world.

At least it had lots of storage space. That meant you had lots of useful weapons and supplies for killing the zombies. That was no easy task.

The largest beast you had encountered so far had been around eight feet tall and had taken over the corpses of about six people and several dozen animals. These beasts weren’t usually able to use the quirks of the people they had absorbed, but some creatures were anomalies. The one you were hunting now was supposed to be one of those anomalies, and had apparently retained a teleportation quirk, making it tricky to catch. You supposed you could be a little more useful in this case.

“Hey! Stop standing there being useless and start a fire!” Bakugou dumped some of the wood Kirishima had just chopped into your arms, and you struggled to hold all of its weight. He laughed at you as you dropped a piece of the firewood and caught it with your foot. Mina came to your rescue and told Bakugou off with a laugh as you hopped off towards the fire pit. Even he thought you were useless. Especially he. Him. Whatever.

Shinsou used his capture weapon to lift the wood back into your arms, and you smiled at him. He understood you in a way nobody else did, and maybe it was because you both had mind-related quirks, but you found camaraderie in the fact that people tended to be driven away from you or mistrust you. Who would want to be friends with someone that could tell exactly what they were thinking, or with one verbal response could make them do literally anything?

“You okay?” he asked.

You nodded as you knelt by the makeshift fire pit and started to stack the wood. “I’m fine, Shinsou,” you replied. “Just a bit of teasing.”

He walked over to the trunk and returned with a box of kindling. He balled up some of the paper and lit it when you were done. You couldn’t even do this small task without help. How useless did they really think you were?

You stood and looked around for somewhere else to help. Mina, Sero, and Kirishima had already set up the tent, Denki was charging the car, and Bakugou was digging around for something in the trunk. Shinsou walked over to go help him, and as you were about to check if Jirou needed anything you were grabbed from behind and lifted off the ground.

“Gotcha!” Kirishima purred into your ear, pretending to bite into your shoulder as he tickled you. You cried out in involuntary laughter, and kicked and flailed in his arms.

“Hey, put me down!” you tugged at the hands around your waist, and he finally listened to you, only for him to turn you around and pull you into a bone-crushing hug.

He pulled away and tilted your face up by the chin. “No more sad face, okay?” he asked softly. “Cheer up.”

Before you could respond, Bakugou started yelling again. “What useless fucker packed up the supplies?” He shouted, and if you weren’t used to that shout you would have probably flinched at the rough tone in his voice.

“Me and Mina!” Denki looked up from his charging duties. “Why?”

“You forgot our fucking food,” Bakugou growled. “Both crates full of food are missing! Seriously? Even people as inept as Y/n and Sero remember to bring the fucking food when it’s their turn to pack up!”

“Calm down Bakugou!” Sero stepped forward. “Is there any way you just missed it?”

Bakugou’s words washed over you like glass in your heart. You had heard them before – he was always calling you a dumbass, or a burden, and while he was that way with everybody, and they just shrugged it off, you just… never could. Bakugou had one of the most guarded minds you had ever seen, and regularly called you a Voyeur if he caught you staring at him for too long. You hadn’t purposefully read his thoughts very much, but his brain seemed to be full of those harsh words and nicknames. It would have been easier if you knew he didn’t mean them.

While your group argued (Jirou, Mina, and Denki were all screaming at Bakugou while Kirishima and Sero tried to break it up, and Shinsou watched with a tired expression), you snuck around to the back of the truck to retrieve a few weapons. You grabbed a small handgun (Yaomomo made you lots of supplies every time she saw you), and a few rounds of ammo. You also grabbed a metal baseball bat for good measure (better safe than sorry), and one of Bakugou’s mini grenades just out of spite. When you returned to camp with dinner in hand, you were planning on detonating it just to scare the bejesus out of him. You wondered if they would still be arguing when you got back.

Maybe they wouldn’t even notice you leaving?

Nobody stopped you as you set off across the field towards the woods. Nobody even spared you a second thought as their restless minds grew more and more distant. You relaxed as you realized you were alone, and hummed quietly to yourself as you crept through the woods looking for dinner.

The birds were singing, and the trees rustled softly in the wind as you wandered farther and farther away from camp. The small stream you crossed was probably where Jirou had collected water earlier, and just for the hell of it you decided to climb up the waterfall. It probably wasn’t the smartest move, but it was about a thirty-foot climb and it looked like fun. Once you were at the top, you followed the river upstream and searched for any thirsty wildlife.

Being the useless party member was boring. No matter what your companions did, you never seemed to be able to see the value in your own contributions. You were able to broadcast messages across large groups of people all at once, which made you invaluable both in evacuation efforts, and when planning strategies. Your range was somewhat limited unless you really pushed your quirk (if you were scared enough the words and pictures could travel up to five kilometers), but the ability to detect thoughts had less limits. Some people (like Bakugou) naturally suppressed thoughts, while others (like Kaminari) did not. It was easy to tell when the monsters were nearby because they could not repress their thoughts whatsoever. Even less than Kaminari. Everything blurred together in one big, overwhelming jumbled mess, and if there were a lot of them you were easily overwhelmed.

People you could deal with. You had grown up in a big city and gone to school in large classes, you knew what people were like. You could be in crowds with hundreds of voices and be unbothered, purely because it was all background noise. It wasn’t meant to be heard.

Sometimes, the monsters knew you could hear them. Sometimes they wanted you to hear.

You were dragged out of your train of thought as you caught sight of dinner. Drinking at the river was a boar, a yearling probably weighing about 45lbs. It hadn’t noticed you yet, and as you aimed your gun for it, careful not to make a noise, it didn’t stir.

A shot through the eye was all it took, and the animal dropped dead. You grinned to yourself as you approached it, and carefully picked it up and slung it over your shoulder. You couldn’t wait to see the look on Bakugou’s face when he realized just how useful you really were. You carried the boar back downstream, humming one of Jirou’s punk songs to yourself.

“Blood,” was the first thought that filled your head, and it made you halt in your tracks. It was so sudden, and so strong that it had startled you. You looked back the way you came and noticed that about two hundred yards away a figure crouched over where you had killed the boar, and as it uncurled its body vertebrae by vertebrae you felt terror grip your heart.

You were alone. Nobody was going to come save you. You were out of range.

The creature had a massive rack of antlers on its head – it had clearly been feeding off of the local wildlife to make it big and strong. Big and strong it was – towering at probably twelve feet tall with a lanky and deceptively fast body. Its mind was full of violent thoughts, and you heard each and every one. As you noticed it, it also noticed you. You heard its thoughts as they ricocheted around a brain that should not have had the capability to think, and as the word “Need!” filled your mind, it lunged for you.

You screamed in terror, and your quirk activated without your permission, sending the horrifying image of this thing leaping and bounding through the air towards you out in all directions. The image of itself halted it in its tracks, but it quickly shook the feeling off. You dropped your boar and aimed your handgun. The rounds did nothing, and the creature picked up speed again, unhinging its jaw and letting out a shriek so loud your ears rang. You fired into its open mouth, once more discharging an image of its maw. That also gave the creature pause, and as your handgun clicked out of ammunition, you reached for your bat and your grenade. Its eyes were so cold as it watched you change your stance, and you swallowed hard as you noticed tiny hands protruding from its chest. Those hands had once belonged to a child, and that made you angry.

Noticing the pattern, you started to send it random pictures and see what it reacted to. It seemed to recognize itself, so you started sending it pictures of its parts – deer, boar, birds, and eventually people. It kept coming at you, but it seemed almost dazed as it avoided your bat. You grinned to yourself as you assaulted it with more images and increasingly complex thoughts, not caring how you swung your bat. You landed a blow and it shrieked in pain. You then assaulted it again, sending it emotions and increasingly complex feelings. You recited math equations, explained how to start a fire, and told it about yourself in the blink of an eye, still swinging your bat. It connected with the skull-like head and broke the bone apart.

It felt anger now, you could sense it, and it wanted you dead. You kept bashing, overwhelming it psychologically. Then, all at once, you backed off. It shrieked at you as it retreated too, which gave you just enough time to chuck your grenade into its open mouth. You hit the deck as the grenade detonated, and the creature’s throat exploded outwards. As it fell to its knees, folding its long legs under itself, you stood once more. You then raised your bat high and dealt the killing blow to its head, scattering brains everywhere. You kept bashing for another thirty seconds for good measure, until all of the thoughts were gone, and the forest was once again quiet. You panted hard in the silence, and as you once more heard thoughts you gave the creature’s head another few bashes, even though you knew it couldn’t possibly have been the source.

By the time you registered the explosions behind you Bakugou was already sprinting towards you, yelling incoherently. Before you could get a word in, he was blasting the creature’s dead body with all he had. He then turned to you and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, one so tight that your back popped.

“Bakugou?” you asked in alarm, and he just held you tighter.

“Don’t fucking wander away, dumbass!” he pulled away to growl into your face, eyebrows knit. “We thought we’d lost you.”

The thoughts dancing around his head made you almost shiver. “Thank god they’re safe,” and a thousand variations of that hit you all at once, along with feelings of guilt and fear and pride as he took the time to appreciate the beast you had killed.

Sero was next to arrive, having scaled the waterfall in record time. He swung through the trees towards you, clumsy and graceless. His head was also filled with panic and then joy and then wonder as Bakugou let you go and Sero had his hug.

Jirou and Kirishima clamoured over the waterfall, Mina and Kaminari (who for once, wasn’t smiling) hot on their heels. You were pulled into several more group hugs, and as Shinsou approached even he wrapped you in his arms.

“Why the fuck did you go off on your own?” Bakugou yelled.

“We needed food,” you replied. “So, I hunted a boar, which we can’t eat anymore because this thing showed up.” you gave its carcass a kick. You then walked over to the boar cadaver, which was covered in goo and chunks of brain, and based its head in. You did not want this thing coming back in a new form. Either thing.

“Don’t wander off like that!” Kirishima stressed. “You could have gotten killed! If Bakugou hadn’t been here to kill that thing for you-”

“I killed it,” you cut him off, resting the bat over your shoulder and trying not to sound smug. “Apparently it’s not invulnerable to my quirk. I figured out how to use it. Guess I’m not so useless after all, even if I did ruin dinner. Sorry guys.”

Bakugou’s eyebrows twitched. “Who the fuck said you were useless?” he demanded.

“You did,” you replied. “Earlier today.”

“I told you to stop being useless. There’s a difference,” he grabbed you by the shoulders. “Listen to me. You are not useless. You don’t have to run off on your own and nearly fucking get killed to prove that, and I’m sorry if I ever made you think that’s what we wanted from you.”

Holy shit. Did Bakugou just apologize? To you? Were you dreaming?

He pulled you into another hug. “Don’t run off again, okay, dumbass?” he asked softly.

“Okay,” you smiled softly. “I can promise that.”

“Good,” he growled. “And we found the food crates. Turns out that Shitty Hair over here-” Bakugou punched Kirishima in the shoulder, “-put them away in the tent.”

Kaminari sobbed loudly, interrupting the moment. “Denki, don’t cry!” you were hugging him in an instant, and he clung tightly to you like you would just disappear if he didn’t anchor you. “I’m here, and I’m safe. I promise.”

“It’s not that!” he wailed. “We could have had bacon!”

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugou x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #kirishima ejiro x reader #sero hanta x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #ashido mina x reader #jirou kyouka x reader #kaminari denki x reader #zombie apocalypse #zombie apocolypse au #bakusquad #gender neutral reader #memeadonna #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #sero hanta #ashido mina #jirou kyouka #kaminari denki #mha #bnha

[gallavichy]

So I have a thought about the steam room and orgy scenes this episode that is, I think, a slightly different take than either of the extremes out there (Gallavich would never! And Shut up, it’s totally fine).

My general take is that they decided on whatever they did this ep TOGETHER. So they’re being safe, sane, and consensual. I also think that the steam room and the party gays are both isolated situations that don’t suggest ANY sort of future problems or infidelity.

But narratively speaking, I think it’s also worth looking at how the world of Shameless codes these things. Yes, this is hard to do because of serious issues with homophobia and racism in the writing, general inconsistency in the writing, screwing with the show Bible when when necessary (or not 😡), and retconning whenever the fuck they want, BUT, there is the realm of the world if this show, and it’s worth looking at.

- This show does not define true love, lasting love, and meaningful love as something built on fidelity and monogamy. I’m not saying that it promotes polyamory, but I am suggesting that we have been presented with couples whom we are supposed to believe love each other deeply...and very few of them have had perfectly closed relationships. And this is not just for gay couples! Think about Helene and her husband, Kev and V in their throuple, etc. so WE might see airtight monogamy as something we want, but the show has almost never presented us with that as an option.

- The shameless piece of Shameless means that the writers will often if not always subvert the fandom’s desire for sweetness and romance if/when something sexy and scandalous can happen. It’s not always infidelity, but it’s often something we wouldn’t want for the couples we like. Kev and V acting out master and slave stuff on the internet?? V’s MOM?? Lip being monumentally stupid in all of his relationships? Lip lying to Tami constantly this season? Steve being married when he shows up after S1? Most of Gallavich seasons 1-5?

- The show is about family and survival and loyalty (not romantic loyalty, necessarily, but the I-can-count-on-you-no-matter-what loyalty). What we’ve been shown in s10 and 11 with Gallavich is that they ARE these things for one another. They are family, lovers, AND friends. While I think the show fucks up in a lot of ways, I think it’s been clear about this.

Okay, and then lastly - they lived happily ever after is a hard claim to stomach if a couple hasn’t been shown to face the hard questions when the show concludes. Showing us that they can go to the steam room or an orgy and end the night together singing Gaga and Ariana in the gross Gallagher bathroom is the reassurance we need that their marriage will survive all the random stupid shit that might come their way. It’s also important to note that even though he’s a dumbass, Ian is better at relationships than all his other siblings. Seriously. Except maybe Liam!

all great points here! ♥️

i really don’t want to talk too much about this because i’m not one to engage in conversations about ~controversial aspects of episodes as i have genuine troubles with articulating big thoughts to the point that it stresses me out. however! i do just want to mention a few things and preface it by saying that my general thought is that people are allowed to feel however they want about this--particularly the fans who’ve been around since the beginning and who feel like this is a less-than-desirable turn of events after the degree to which they’ve followed this relationship. i get it. 

but i also want to say that while i understand some of the extremes to the interpretation of this, i also think it’s important to note (and may make others feel better?) that what’s happening between them is not polyamory and does not suggest romantic or physical disloyalty with permission. i’m reading it as a kink, more than anything. they’re each other’s one and only. but just like adding toys to their bedroom activities, they’re open to adding a guy or two to the scenario whenever they have the desire and opportunity, which i don’t imagine will be frequently, just as i don’t imagine they get out the ballgag more than a couple times a month, if that. i just can’t make myself view this in any way as them being open to sex with other people. they’re clearly jealous. their “who knows what might happen...” is enough to get mickey to agree to making gay friends with ian and ian to agree to stay for the dinner party. they absolutely don’t want their husband to have sex with other people in any capacity that isn’t a scenario in which they’re like, together in a steam room with two other guys or taking part in an orgy in which, let’s be honest, they probably made out with each other while receiving blowjobs or while they side-by-side topped other men. it’s a partnered activity and just a fun new way to enjoy sex and the physical bodily pleasures with the man they love.

to address your ask (sorry for basically hijacking it lol), i do agree that the show certainly doesn’t seem to present to us many instances of strict, as you say, “airtight monogamy.” but unlike the other examples--helene and her husband, the throuple thing--ian and mickey’s situation doesn’t even feel like that. idk. i guess i just tend to view this as them occasionally having adventurous sex that, no matter if there are other guys in the mix during the act, is always about them in the end and is ultimately still sex with each other. i think they’d go mental if they were to like, split up and each pick up a guy to take to two different locations. they’re way too possessive and jealous for that. to your second point, i do think they tend to subvert our desires when it comes to characters’ sex lives--mostly as evidenced by the kinkiness discovered this season--but yeah, idk, this whole scenario in 11x07 was sweet as hell to me. they love each other so much and that, to me, was palpable, regardless of how many guys were in the equation.

i feel like this doesn’t address your ask at all and was, instead, me just going on tangent after tangent, but again, i tend to do this and it’s why i suck at responding to very thoughtful asks like yours. ♥️♥️♥️ anyway, you’ve made great points here and i absolutely agree with them as valid commentary on the show, i just personally don’t fit ian and mickey’s sex life into that based on how i view their arrangement in the first place.

#<33333 #likelife19 #ask gray

[thevampiresiren]

Helping Yoongi Shave

Word Count: 2.5K

Genre: Fluff, Humor

WARNINGS: Soft!Yoongi, Tooth Aching Fluff, Cursing, Slight Suggestive Themes (nothing major, just some suggestive flirting and a little talk of sex. Yoongi also puts his hands on the reader's butt)

Summary: Yoongi needs to shave, but he's too tired to do it himself. So he teaches you how to shave him.

A/n: So… This is the very first Fanfic that I wrote and I’m not going to lie; I was a very nervous about posting it until one of my friends read it for me and loved it. I’m not sure if I’ll be doing this stuff as a part of my blog ALL the time, but if I can think of anything and if it comes out good; I’ll definitely post it.  Also I just REALLY wanted to do a Yoongi shaving fanfic because I think helping your significant other shave is SO intimate and involves a lot of trust. I hope you guys like it!

I was passed out on the couch in the living room when I woke up to the sound of keys jingling outside the apartment door. As Holly got up from laying next to my feet, I picked up my phone and saw that it was around 1:30 am. As the door opened, I heard the brown toy poodle bark happily while he was spanning around in a circle while footsteps stopped to where he was. "Shhh, Holly. You're gonna wake Mom up." My boyfriend whispered petting the fluffy canine.

"Too late, she's awake." I yawned while stretching with a smile on my face. Yoongi looked up from petting Holly.

"I'm sorry, Jagiya. I thought you were in bed." Yoongi said while taking his shoes off, setting his work bag down, and walking over to me. I smiled as he tilted my chin up to gently peck my lips. When he pulled away, he laughed loudly. "What?" I asked.

"Nice bed head, babe". He said smirking while nodding at me. I ran my my finger through hair and sighed. "Hey, don't be upset. It's cute." He said standing up and kissing my check. I felt a slight roughness on my skin once he made contact. I look at his upper lip and chin, smirking.

"Nice stubble, babe." I copied. He touched his face and groaned. "Don't be upset. Its cute." I mocked. Yoongi smiled.

"I'm gonna go get changed. I'm too tired to shave tonight." He said yawning while walking to our bedroom. Holly and I followed not far behind and he laid down in his little bed starting to doze off again knowing his dad was home. I walked in and saw that Yoongi had put his glasses on and changed into his black sweatpants that hung loosly on his hips and was topless. He was by no means the buffest man in world, nor did he have majorly defined abs; but he was toned enough that you could see his pecs, and when the light hit right at the correct angel; his faint abs from him most recently working out would show up. He was perfect. His arm muscles slightly moved as he threw his clothes into hamper. I was too busy admiring him before he broke me from trance. "You okay over there? If I didn't know any better I'd get the feeling you're checking me out." He said with a cocky smirk. I smiled and pushed myself off the door frame I was leaning on.

"Nah, I think your hideous and by no means attractive. And you do it to me all the time." I said jokingly.

"Your loud noises from me pinning you down two nights ago and those dark marks say otherwise, baby girl". He said smirking. I blushed while trying to cover the "love marks" on my neck and where my shoulders met.

"Shut up and let me enjoy my hot boyfriend's body when we aren't fucking." I said laughing. Yoongi let out chuckle before he went off to the master bathroom to brush his teeth. I changed out of my day clothes into nothing but his white Fear of God shirt that hit my mid thighs and put my hair in a high ponytail.

"Aish! Its so fucking bad" Yoongi groaned loudly. I looked in and saw him examining his facial hair, clearly upset with how fast it was growing. "Yoon, just shave it tomorrow before you go to work. You need sleep." I said walking over to him. I knew he was beyong exhausted by how irritated he sounded and by the slight bags under his eyes. It was comeback season and I knew he was over working himself a bit. He was eating healthy and was taking care of himself like he has been, but I still worried about him. "I can't, we have an interview in the morning and we have dance practice. Plus, I need to finish up a song in the home studio once I wake up." He said leaning his head against the mirror pouting; his raven bangs falling and covering his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his bare torso and leaned my cheek on his broad shoulder making him shiver at the contact. "What if I do it for you?" I said quietly.

"My work?"

"No, dumbass." I said pulling away laughing while he turned around. "I mean shave your face." I said poking his chubby cheeks and kissing his pout.

"You sure you're not to tired to do that for me?"

"I wouldn't be offering if I was."

"Yes you would, because I'd do it too for you."

"I've already gotten at least 4 hours of sleep. You've been up since 6 am. I have more energy and I don't want you stressing out over it. Let me do it, baby. Let me take care of you." I said seriously.

"God, I can't wait to make you my wife." He said sighing. I laughed loudly "Who said I would say yes if your proposed?".

"We've talked about it and you were weak at the knees when I told you I would give you as many kids as you want and I would find a way to make it work for you, the kids, and music. Plus, you let me take your v-card. You've already said yes based on that like I did." Yoongi said laughing.

I blushed. "Just go get your damn razor and everything else." I said crossing my arms over my chest. Yoongi turned around and opened the medicine cabinet to pull out his shaving cream, aftershave, and the black leather case that he kept his razor in. He set everything in front of the sink and scooted out of the way for me to work. I opened up the case and saw exactly what type of razor it was. Anxiety shivered through my body as I pulled the razor out carefully. I just came to the realization that I had never actually SEEN his razor. He usually was using it on tour or even over at the dorm with the rest of the guys. Whenever he did shave here, it was in the shower.

"Yoongs..."

"Yeah?"

"This is a straight razor...". I said quietly.

"I know. It gets closer to my skin and the shave lasts longer. It works better for me than a normal one.". I carefully opened the blade far away from either of us at the risk of us getting cut. I stared at it and my anxiety just continued to grow. These were dangerous and I'd never used one before.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Yoongi said looking at me concerned while reaching out and gently rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm scared I'm going to pull a Thomas Brown Hewitt and slit your throat while I shave you. I can't afford a lawsuit as big as you." I said casually as I carefully set the razor down after I slowly put the blade back. Yoongi busted out laughing loudly at my comment.

"You'll do fine, Kitten." He said calmly after he collected himself. "I'll show you how to use it on yourself first if that'll make you more comfortable.". I thought for a moment and nodded my head agreeing. Yoongi grabbed the shaving cream and turned the water on so it was hot but not scolding. "Fuck." Yoongi said looking down, his deep raspy voice just slightly about a whisper as he just noticed what I was wearing. I smirked at him with a face that said "really?" .

"Sorry, you just look really fucking cute." He said blushing. Yoongi showed me how to put the cream on my legs which was no different than I normally do. He then grabbed the razor, instructing me to put my hand where his was. He lightly wrapped his large hand around my wrist, and started.

"Okay, so the trick is to go with the grain of hair; never against it. It can cause bumps and ingrown hairs. Also keep your hand at a 30-degree angle. Anything more will cut yourself. Make sure the skin is always taught as well. And go slow and gentle. Like this.". Yoongi began helping me shave where my ankle was and guiding me with the right amount of pressure. After a few more strokes of him helping me, I had enough confidence to do it on my own. It wasn't as hard or scary as I thought. After 20 minutes, I had both of my legs shaved and set the blade down on the sink. I ran my hands down my legs and noticed how smoother my legs were. I had no cuts, bumps, or anything like I normally would. "I DID IT YOONGI! I DIDN'T KILL MYSELF!". I yelled extremely happy that I didn't have to go to the ER, wrapping my arms around Yoongi's neck . He laughed at how excited I was.

"I told you that you could do it. Are you ready to try it on me now?" He said picking the blade back up. I smiled and told him to sit down on the counter of the bathroom sink. Once he was sat down and his glasses were off, I put the water on and shaving cream on his face. Just when I had turned to grab the razor; I felt a large warm hand on my wrist. "Um.. wait a second."

While I went to look over at Yoongi; I felt a soft, light, pressure on my left cheek followed by a muffled sound. I looked between my face and part of my hair covered in white, to Yoongi's right hand also covered in white and the right side of his face showing his skin underneath. It took me a second to get over my shock before I began processing what had just happened. "MIN YOONGI." I yelled, waking Holly up, making him barm from the disturbance of his sleep before going back to bed. Yoongi busted out in a full-on laugh attack causing him to almost fall off the sink before catching himself. As I washed the shaving cream off of me, I looked annoyed but also amused at him being playful. "I want a divorce already." I said laughing with him. Once we both settled down and Yoongi had his face covered in shaving cream again; I grabbed the razor and was about to start shaving him when my anxiety started getting the better of my again. Yoongi sensed my anxiety sparking and grabbed my hand that wasn't holding the razor.

"Hey." Yoongi said while he looked up at me lovingly, running his long fingers over mine soothingly. "I trust you okay. I know you won't hurt me." He said before kissing my knuckles, careful not to get the shaving cream on my hand. I nodded smiling and slowly started shaving him. Several minutes in shaving him, while I was concentrating, I felt Yoongi's hands reach behind me to my upper thighs, pulling me closer. He gently started rubbing soothing circles on them and messaging my ass.

"Keep it PG, Min. I have weapon and I'm not afraid to use it." I said jokingly making him chuckle.

"You know what you in my clothes do to me." He said with a tired smirk. His dark lashes hit his cheekbones as he relaxed under my touch. I smiled at a how serene he looked, and it took everything in me not to kiss him. Once I was done, I rubbed my nose against his causing him to open one eye and smile. I grabbed the washcloth and gently cleaned whatever was left of his shaving gel. I grabbed his Invictus aftershave and put some on his face.

"Okay, I'm think done." I said proud of myself. Yoongi put his glasses back on and grabbed the handheld mirror I had held out to him and examined his face closely. A huge smile hit his lips and he wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders and pulled me to his broad chest. "You did amazing Jagi. Thank you." He said as he muzzled his face into my neck.

"You're welcome, Yoons." I said tiredly as I ran my fingers through his soft locks, laying my head on top of his. The faint smell of his aftershave along with the smell of him in general hitting my nose made me feel tired as I gently messaged his head. Yoongi hummed quietly into my neck before placing chaste lazy kissing to my neck, chest, below my ear lobe, cheeks, temple, nose, and finally my lips.

"I love soft, cuddly Yoongi." I said giggling. Yoongi looked at me with a soft smile, our noses touching.

"I thought you loved rough, dominate Yoongi?" He said rubbing our noses together.

"Ehh, I like all sides. I'm an easy woman to please." I said looking at him smiling before telling him it was time for us to go to bed. He yawned while nodding and we headed to our bed, setting his glasses down on the nightstand. He pulled me close, so my head was laying on his chest and placed his hand on the side of my face. Our centimeters away from each other he smiled and looked into my eyes with his full of love, care, warmth, and passion. "I love you so much, Jagi." He said tired while stroking my cheek bone. I leaned it connected my lips to his in a sweet but passionate kiss. We both pulled away with giant smiles on our faces. I responded looking tiredly into his eyes. "I love you too, Yoongi.". I layed my head on my pillow, my face buried in his neck breathing in his scent while he buried his in my hair, arms wrapped tightly around me. "I can't believe you smashed me in the face with shaving cream." I said quietly.

"That's what you get for staring at me and then parading around our bedroom in my shirt and your lace panties you brat.". He responded letting out and airy chuckle. I smiled before closing my eyes and falling asleep to his light breathing.

#yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi fanfic #bts yoongi #bts #bts x reader #bts fanfction

[annakie]

Are we out of the woods yet?

Hey all, haven't been on tumblr in a few days!

I have been living through what so many other Texans have been living through, so I thought I’d write a bunch of words about it, for posterity.  My story isn’t nearly as bad as so many others, but hey, it was still a fairly major historical event so... writing it for my own memories. :)

Post title because that particular Taylor Swift song was stuck in my head for most of the last few days, for obvious reasons.

So the last week has been an adventure! Last Friday I got my first Moderna Vaccine, and I posted about it a few times, but by Monday was feeling pretty good. Of course, it snowed overnight. I'd been so out of it all weekend I didn't realize quite how bad it was going to be, but when a friend who lives nearby told me his power was out I kinda went "uh oh", baked myself a box mix of orange cranberry bread, fortified some windows with blankets, and crossed my fingers. Also starting that morning I'd reduced the temperature in the house, and shut off and unplugged everything non-essential.

I was feeling pretty happy when the power stayed on all day. My friend's power came back that evening so I thought I was out of the woods.

And then at 10pm... plunged into darkness.

I threw some more blankets into areas where the cats hang out and my bed, let some friends know, and tried to go to bed, hoping for the best in the morning. Couldn't fall asleep for hours, worrying, as the temperature was plunging to the negatives for the first time in living memory in Texas. Finally fell into a restless sleep, and woke up a few hours later, no power.

The worst thing about no power is like, all the things you can't do. My phone started at 100% charge and I'd charged all my devices including my backup battery, but still tried to conserve power. The scary thing was hearing that this could last for days. And boy the news that day was bleak about the possibility of having power again anytime soon. The house, however, stayed at about 51 degrees the entire day. So, it was cold, but very bearable with a few layers and blankets. Whichever cats I was near were very cuddly though.

I was really glad to have the cranberry orange bread because it was tasty and easy to eat. Also had a sizeable amount of beef jerkey, and chips, and I'd bought about 48 bottles of water at the start of the pandemic that I never drank, so I had no worries about what to eat for the time, luckily. I figured, worst case, I'd figure out a way to do soup over a candle to have a hot meal eventually.

I’d been dripping the bathtub and checking the other faucets regularly.  I’ve never had a burst pipe in the normal cold we have, and was hoping for the best this time as well.  All seemed well the entire day.

I slept a lot when I wasn't scrolling twitter and nextdoor for information. And early afternoon there was a knock on the door. My mom literally called the cops to do a wellness check on me because I hadn't answered texts in a few hours, lol. I thanked him, and called my mom. Internet had been spotty and her calls weren't going through, nor notifications when I got texts. So that was... notable.

I tried doing some reading, and playing on my Switch but to be honest, I was so anxious about everything that I couldn’t relax and keep my mind on anything but the lack of power and when it’d come back.  I did take about four naps though. Considered bringing some of the cats into the car with me to warm up but realized I’d have to lift the garage door manually to run the car without, you know, dying, and instead just turned it on for less than a minute twice that day to keep the battery fresh...er... without carbon monoxide poisoning.  (My garage door is solid wood.  Even with good springs... it’s heavy.)

By the time it started to get dark, I started to worry about how much longer this would go on. I have a friend who has a 4-wheel drive... idk a land rover or something. He lives about 30 minutes away normally. It'd probably take well over an hour for him to get there now, especially since there was another storm coming that night. Since learning my power was out, he'd been asking if he could come get me, and they had steady rolling blackouts in their neighborhood, several other people I knew nearby were also saying their blackouts were rolling along.

I resisted, because I really didn't want to move the cats but I would never ever abandon my pets. But also it would be very difficult to move them. Patchy doesn't get along with any of them -- she stays in the master bedroom 100% of the time. There was a short period of time last year she would explore the house, but she got along with everyone else, especially Fry, so poorly that she decided she did not want to explore the house anymore. Fry sometimes wanders into the master bedroom and if they're both on the floor there's lots of hissing and yelling, and maybe swatting. She also has nothing but hissing for Pemily and Leela if she sees them. The master is her domain, the rest of the cats can have everything else.

Everyone else can be mean to Leela, though she gets along OK with Pemily most of the time. 

But Fry is just... hoo boy he is nothing but a problem child I don’t want to subject on others.  He’s a bully and an asshole and yells loudly when anything doesn’t go his way.  He would really, really not take a new environment well.  He hates the outside, and runs away when I even open a door.  And getting him to the vet involves kitty sleeping pills, though he also still fights through it enough to freak out the entire time he’s in a carrier badly, yeowling the entire time and literally rips all his nails off trying to get out, still trying to dig his way out with bloody paws.  It’s a nightmare.  So the thought of getting all four of them into carriers at the same time, then putting them all in a car for well over an hour (and the entire trip would be nothing but all four of them crying the entire time with Fry being the worst), then bringing them into someone else’s house, and needing two separate rooms because I can’t put Patchy in the same room as the other three... and trying to keep them all calm in a whole new situation when none of them were used to any other environment than my house (aside from yearly trips to the vet) man... moving them was a last resort.

But around 10pm when I had been sitting in the dark for 24 hours, I texted him and said in the morning, if the power wasn't on, we'd talk about him coming to get me and the cats in the morning.

I fortified Leela’s bed with a blanket fort.  (Pic above was from later, when I got power, and was way more open than I kept it when it was cold.) I couldn’t get her to move anywhere else... it actually worked pretty well. 

I fortified the master bedroom with blankets over the sliding glass door on Monday and then put Patchy’s cat bed on the bed and fortified IT with more blankets.  After she was settled in I managed to get her covered up.  Then I went into the living room, which is the smallest room in the house and a room most would use as a bedroom, and snuggled into the couch with Fry and Pemily, the door cracked for ventilation, and four candles burning. 

Fell asleep around 10:30.

Around midnight I was woken up by a terrifying sound... running water.  Honestly thought I was dreaming for a moment, had to work to pull myself out of my dream, and my heart froze in terror that I may have a burst pipe.  And then I heard a very, very good sound... the furnace turning on. 

POWER!  26 hours later.. POWER.  The running water sound was the cats’ water fountain.

Got out of bed, nuked myself a small frozen pizza, checked around the house for everything and everyone being OK, plugged in all my portable devices to recharge, and went back to sleep.  Woke up around 4 and still had power.  I thought... I really wanted a hot meal and should cook something that wouldn’t be bad as cold leftovers for lunch, as I’d finished the cranberry orange bread when I woke up at midnight.  I didn’t want to use too much power so uh... I made Fettuccine Alfredo, and ate half of it... at 4am.  What?  It was good.

Also... I hadn’t seen the stray cat I’d been taking care of since Sunday night.  He hadn’t even visited because there were no tracks in the snow.  Checked the backyard randomly and he was there!!!  So he got food and water.  I was very happy.

THERE’S THE BOY!  I call him Patchy’s Boyfriend.  Taken through the blinds as to not scare him.

Animal tracks in the snow!!  I was glad some birbs got some water, too!

Went back to bed in my own bed.  Woke up a little later than normal for work with the power still on.  Texted my folks to tell them the good news.  Got up and went into the kitchen, started contemplating coffee and pancakes for a hot meal.  Opened the fridge for the first time and checked the milk.  Sadly, it didn’t survive, and realized I was a dumbass for not just.. putting the groceries... in the garage... where it was cold...

And just as I sighed and started to decide if I wanted coffee without milk... the power went back off.  Aw, damn.

My spirits were lifted, though, at having power and a warm house overnight.  I checked in with work and let them know I’d be out again unless the power came back, told my friends and said NOT to come get me, decided NOT to tell my mom the power was off again, because all that would do is make them worry about me all day again, checked on the cats and tucked them in, and went back to bed.  Got some more sleep.

Relaxed more that day, with the house taking longer to cool down.  Actually played some Switch, read the first couple of books in the Mass Effect Comic Collection.  Had cold Alfredo and an apple with peanut butter for lunch.  Scrolled twitter a lot more, not afraid to have to go to my backup battery if needed.

Right around the time I’d usually be knocking off for work... the power came on again.

And it didn’t shut off.  Yay.

In total I was without power somewhere around 34 hours.  It sucked.. but also... I didn’t have my pipes burst... they didn’t even freeze.  The house never dipped below 50, thanks insulation!  My water was always running, though for a few hours it was very low pressure, and always clean.  My city government and congressman were both very involved and communicative, doing their best to help people and get the word out.  City had two warming centers should I have needed them, one of which was pet friendly.  I had plenty of food and water, enough for a week or more easily.  I had friends willing to put themselves at risk and through inconvenience to make sure I was taken care of.

A lot of people had it much, much worse.  So yeah.  I don’t ever wanna do that again, but for me, it wasn’t all that bad.

Shoutouts to:

My nearby friend Eric, who would have let me stay at his place if needed.

My far-away friend Marcus for offering to come and get me, and suffer the inconvenience of my cats.  Other friends would have if I’d asked, too.

My queen sized purple fleece blanket for being so warm and comforting.

My warm fuzzy bathrobe, messy bun beanie, and fuzzy slippers for making sure I was never all that cold.

My cats for weathering things well.  They also learned that maybe they DO like being under covers now.

My LED Headlamp for providing hands-free light for hours and hours.

My mom for a bag of candles she gave me YEARS ago I always would see and want to throw out, but didn’t let myself just in case I needed them someday.  I burned many of them and they kept me warm that second night.

Also my mom for... calling... the police... on me?  I know she loves me.  Also that cop for having a sense of humor about it and telling me to call my mom more often lol.  ACAB and all, but I shoulda checked my texts.

My Switch and Mass Effect Comic Collection for being huge piles of entertainment when I could finally relax and read them.

My coworker Monica for suggesting I make something I could snack on easily in case we lost power.  That cranberry orange bread was perfect.

Me for never throwing away a blanket.  I should probably donate some, though.  Between the cats and covering windows and me, though.. I used... a lot of blankets.

4am Fettuccine Alfredo.

My municipal utilities for already saying our bills wouldn’t be drastically higher from this month.  Although, I take it back for being real bad at the “rolling” part of the “rolling” blackouts.

Also, one more thing... FUCK YOU TED CRUZ, YOU DESERTING PIECE OF SHIT.  BETO O’ROURKE DOES YOUR JOB BETTER THAN YOU WITHOUT THE TITLE, POWER, OR PAYCHECK.

#personal post tag thingy #snowpocolypse2021

[portugalisinsa]

In my desperate attempt to sleep I ended up thinking about copaganda and how the term as been abused and misused, so let me rant about it for a little bit

So “copaganda” means a specific thing, namely, a piece of media that pushes propaganda for the police, implying that the police is Great, Actually, and Don’t Worry Your Pretty Little Head About It. Cops is an example of that. Blue Bloods is the poster child.

However, as it always happens, a specific term that is actually Important enters the mainstream and loses its meaning because of people, and now it’s being used by many as “movie and/or show that’s about the police and/or has a police character that isn’t a total dick, which obviously means that the movie and/or show is bad”.

That’s obviously bullshit, and I will show that with Edgar Wright’s great masterpiece Hot Fuzz.

On the surface, a complete dumbass would say that Hot Fuzz is copaganda. Nicholas Angel is shown as good! The final act is a big shooting! Of course it is, right?!

Wrong.

Alright, so, Hot Fuzz begins by showing us Nicholas Angel and how fucking awesome he is. There’s what you would expect (urban pacification, riot control, resolution of “Operation Crackdown”, highest arrest) but, most notably, there’s a degree in Politics and Sociology, and they specifically mention popularity within the community. In fact, in the rest of the movie, that is what he mostly does- community work. He checks the traffic, patrols, gets minors out of a pub, and tries to find a duck for a member of the public.

So Nicholas Angel is awesome, and he’s the best cop. it would naturally follow that the rest of the police would love him. That’s what we want- if you’re good, you meet your objectives, and do your best, you will fit in the police and make the world a better place!

But no, the others fucking hate him. His superiors are shipping him off because he’s too good. He’s making the others look bad, and the idea of, you know, holding everybody at a higher standard doesn’t touch them. No, Nicholas Angel makes them look bad, and looking good matters more than all the results he gets.

Now, it would be easy to make it look like it’s just a higher up problem. The higher up are lazy and image obsessed, but the common officers, the ones we all meet, they’re good and appreciate him. “Don’t worry, public, we’ll protect you even though our superiors are dicks.“

Nope, they fucking hate him too.

So already, not a glowing endorsement of the police. But hey! It could still be copaganda! Maybe, I don’t know, it’s just those city cops, and the country cops are actually the good guys!

Ahah lol, actually? The country cops fucking hate Angel too. Angel is a “city cop” who thinks too highly of himself and is there to show them how it’s done.

If you’re reading this, you may remember that Angel kinda never did anything other than, you know, be a by-the-book officer. The country cops don’t like him for completely bullshit reasons that can be summarized as “you’re new and also you’re trying to make us feel bad for not being as awesome as you by being that awesome and we don’t trust you go away”. Danny likes him, admittedly mostly because he’s a sweetie pie, but partly for the bad reasons- he wants soldier cop.

All of this is, needless to say, not a glowing endorsement of the police.

Eventually, we find out what made Angel want to become a police officer; his uncle was one. He admired him, and wanted to be like him. Now, Edgar Wright could have left it at that, and we would have had a nice, traditional “amazing cop comes from long, noble line of cops” story, but instead, we instantly find out that, actually, his uncle was corrupt, and that’s bad, and Angel is disappointed in him.

So, to recap- we’re basically halfway through the movie, and the only good cop is Angel. (Danny isn’t bad, but like... he’s not exactly good either, at least as a police officer)

The movie continues, and murders start to happen. Angel is literally the only one who thinks anything is wrong. A long, long string of “accidents” is happening, and none of the cops has even the slightest inkling that something is wrong. They’re just like “Angel, you nipped scarf, you’re a paranoid dum-dum“, and what little they do, they do after a lot of arm-twisting and with extreme disgruntlement.

Once again, not a glowing endorsement.

On and on we go, two thirds into the movie, with only Danny liking Angel and showing any kind of improvement as an officer, until we finally get to the revelation that the council is killing people for the greater good (the greater good)... Oh, and btw, who is also part of the council?

The Frank Butterman, AKA The Police Inspector, AKA THE FUCKING LEADER OF THE POLICE IN THIS TOWN.

So, to recap, by the final act of the movie, we find out that the higher ups are corrupt and the main body of the police are ineffectual.

Okay. Cool.

Nicholas Angel then proceeds to pack up for the final showdown. I see lots of people making the argument that this is an example of soldier cop, fixing everything with violence. Me, I think that’s bullshit. In real life, the problem isn’t that cops have riot gear, the problem is that they use it for everything. Riot gear is something you use only when strictly necessary, and I would argue that “murderous council that’s packing” is one of those times when it is.

So the riot gear and packing up is fine. But what about the violence, I hear you cry?

Well, here’s the thing- the man is responding with the appropriate amount of force. Everybody is trying to actually murder him, and he never, ever shoot to kill. He shoots to incapacitate.

Look at the final body count, people. You think Bad Boys would have ended such a show up with none dead, lots low-to-medium injured apart from one guy who was badly injured but did it himself by tripping on a pointy thing? Fuck, even outside of copaganda, what was the last action movie that had such a body count?

Also, the rest of the country police come around, after initially responding AGAINST Angel, and only thanks to Danny mediation. Which... I mean, good, it’s good, I’m very proud of them, but like, once again, this isn’t exactly glowing endorsement. This doesn’t scream “see, audience?!?! Cops may look ineffectual, but when push comes to shove, they’ll save you!” to me, this screams “yo, they’re finally doing the bare minimum”.

Anyway, the end comes. The London police wants Nicholas Angel to come back because now they look bad, but Angel wants to actually rebuild and direct the police here in the town. They all do paperwork, because that’s what the rules say and rules are important and cops should follow the rules, and more stuff happens but it’s not important for the purpose of this so, here, the end.

At the end, we get the song. The choice of music is important for a movie, it means stuff. Even a mediocre director knows that, and Edgar Wright is a goddamn master of the craft. Have  you seen The World’s End? Check that soundtrack. It’s perfect. Hell, the man directed Baby Driver, which, you know, was half soundtrack. Edgar Wright cares about music in his movies and he chooses it carefully, is the point, okay?

So, keeping in mind that, what do we end Hot Fuzz with? Some bombastic “bad boys bad boys, whatchu gonna do, whatchu gonna do when they come for you”? Something that pumps you up, that makes you go “FUCK YEAH”?

We end it with “Caught by the Fuzz”, by Supergrass. Which, yes, slaps, it slaps my whole bod, and yes, it does pump you up, but, once again, is not a glowing endorsement of the police. It’s a song from the point of view of a scared teen having been arrested by the police who is thinking “fuck I should have stayed at home fuck”.

So what am I trying to say with this? Well, let’s start with what I’m not trying to say; I don’t think Hot Fuzz is an indictment of the police. Please don’t take all of this as me saying that Edgar Wright intended Hot Fuzz as a giant ACAB. That is what in the field we call a reach. Hot Fuzz isn’t an indictment of the police, and that’s fine, because it’s not trying to be. It’s showing the police as a highly flawed institution, and sure, it’s not showing it as flawed as it actually is, but that’s fine, because it’s not trying to be The Wire. What it is trying to be is a fun action movie, which it is, and it is so amazingly.

What I am trying to show is that it’s not copaganda. It’s a movie with a police officer as a main character, a main character who is awesome, but it isn’t copaganda. It’s not endorsing the police. It’s not whitewashing it. It isn’t saying “look at the police, aren’t they great? Aren’t we glad the police are around? Aren’t we better because of the police? Don’t you want to become a police officer? Don’t you think that what they do is excusable, at the end of the day, since they deal with so much?”

But what does this have to do with copaganda? So, look. I get that it’s very nice to tell other people that their favourite shows and/or movie is bad AND wrong, and to feel like you have the moral high ground while doing so. I also get that words change and at the end of the day who gives a shit about it. I really do get that- I will never, ever give a shit about ‘literally’ being used as an intensive and not just to mean ‘literally’, for example.

BUT, some words are actually important, because they do mean a very, very specific thing they are best at describing. And “copaganda” is important, because you read it, you hear it, and you instantly know what it means; it’s something that’s also cop propaganda. Got it.

Which means it’s a word that is important to try and keep for as long as possible, because, you know... the cops aren’t always great. And it’d be best if we weren’t constantly told they are.

I understand that it feels bad to have so many bad things happening around us, and so little power to stop it. But you do have a little bit of power. You have the power to call a spade a spade, and to say ‘that isn’t cool’.

Calling a spade a spade, however, means that you don’t go around calling everything a spade. If you call everything a spade, it creates confusion, and dilutes a message.

So please. Please.

Instead of just pointing at something that has a cop in it and say “copaganda!”, use your critical skills and, like I just did with Hot Fuzz, try to find out if it actually is copaganda before saying it is so.

#hot fuzz #copaganda #long post #now please let me sleep #i'm so tired all the time #man this movie is great #my favourite one is the world's end tho #i'm absolutely not sorry it gave me everything #it made me sad it made me laugh it made me happy it made me cheer #p.s. this is all to say that I'm also not exactly sure Brooklyn 99 is copaganda #but i honestly haven't watched it in years so i have no interest in defending it tbqh #not that i've ever seen anyone saying that hot fuzz is copaganda #i'm sure someone has if only because there's always that one person willfully misinterpreting things #usually the same person going 'uhm maybe if people don't have critical skills #it's because of english teachers not doing their job' #sure it's your english teacher's problem #not you ignoring what they're saying because 'the curtains are just blue' and then covering your ears

[kanraandchrome]

Ivan’s route endings (ramblings)

Today is the best day in a lot of good days I had so far. Finally Ivan’s route is over cancelled fuck it we have the three endings everybody go home party never started. YES. But most importantly in the end they went full crack and cliche about it, as we say in French “perdu pour perdu” (if it’s lost it’s a loss) and ok, you know what I’m in love with the neutral ending, but let’s talk about the good ending first. 

Good ending is boring AF. Nothing makes sense as usual in this route, they foreshadowed something bad could happen because of Loïc’s agitation and his gun but nope we don’t get any of it. Constance’s plan was full of holes and flaws but damn do I empathize with someone who was harassed by a rich guy until she says yes while she was in love with another who had eyes only for Ivan and going out with Ivan was the only way to be close to him (Hi Elo, you weren’t so different after all~). But mostly, the end is so unsatisfying is funny : Eloise doesn’t save Ivan’s life. CONSTANCE DOES and that’s the tea : until the end, Ivan was tied to her and Loïc, not to Eloise. Loïc is the one holding a weakened Ivan and talking about their feelings, not Eloise, and until the end he doesn’t say he loves Eloise, he just says that he’ll hide this precious moment with Loïc away from her. Loïc may have his memories removed and Constance died, but she’ll always be there like Loïc for Ivan, and they don’t even kiss or anything in THE GOOD ENDING. HE DOESN’T TRANSFORM HER. Truly Vlad’s son. 

Neutral ending is a blessing though, please read the awesome Raphaël Department @incorrectml ‘s summary here. We get Constance who has her memories removed and FINALLY Ivan is acting like a fool but a good one by turning a dying Loïc into his Chalice, severing the bond he had with Eloise and finally questioning his feelings he didn’t adress for 15 years, leaving a sad Eloise alone and powerless and leaving the manor to sort things out. Ok it’s sad, but it’s truly the best ending and the proof that Ethan was right all along. Telling us how fake the link was ? Trying to hurt Eloise enough so the link can’t kill her if Ivan dies ? Calling Ivan out for his bullshit he probably sensed ? Damn was he feisty in 10 and he has every right to be (I’ll post it). At least Ivan is alive and away and hopefully happily married and Eloise can now get in whoever of her roommates pants she wants. BEST LIFE. Crack ending is good ending, and now Neil has a room ! 

Bad ending is a wild ride, my heart hasn’t pounded that much since my double master degree. Thanks to @tetrakys10 for replaying the whole cursed thing and keeping us testers hooked with the updates, you made my day even greater and please please please read her summary here ! Ok but with this end everything goes from 0 to 100 really quickly. Constance commits suicide so Ivan can’t be saved damn, what a way to go she really made it extra. And also, it’s the most “Ivan Route” ending we had : unecessary drama, focus away from Eloise, gratuitous violence, OOC moments, ... thanks for the food it was spoiled. Ethan telling them exactly why Ivan is dying takes the cake though, after being beaten by Aaron who let’s remember is his friend and doesn’t like violence but here you go blame and beat the medic who says the other dumbass denied his nature too much and it’s biting him in the ass now. Way to go for the collected older vampire of the manor. Still, Aaron’s sadness made me sad, and Vlad saying to us we can stay in our own house is way too funny. 

In the end, what’s there to remember ? Everything is to be thrown away. EVERYTHING. Let’s just keep Ivan and Loïc’s romance though, and take Constance to a psychiatrist (she needs help, really).But the gratuitious violence, gratuitious insults you can’t retort, the harassment, fights, violence, abusive relationship, lies lies LIES and finally a relationship based on nothing but pretenses and Eloise’s denial that she was in a toxic relationship to make it work by accusing everyone for Ivan’s shortcomings. Get in touch with a vampire who will respect you sweetheart. 

 Finally we are DONE with him. And that’s probably the best day in a lot of good days I had so far. Now buckle up for Aaron’s endings and then Raphaël’s and Ethan’s routes so we can bury Ivan with this wholesome future content. 

#moonlight lovers #ml ivan #thanks gods this is over #my sanity was slipping as much as Ethan's #thanks to incorrectml and tetrakys10 #and all the people during the livestreams to make it bearable #Now to replay to get all three endings.

[narkinafive]

which starwars character has the biggest thot energy

there’s no possible way i can assign one thot to the entire seventy fucked up years of galactic history, so we are dividing it into pt/ot/st eras, as well as divvying it up by the varying degrees of thot; edgy, dumbass, and depressed

prequel trilogy

anakin is the dumbass thot of the prequels, of course. the man decided to have a secret marriage with an extremely high profile antiwar senator during the war in which he was a commanding general. maul is of course the edgy thot, as after his defeat and resurrection decided to become an anarchist and a crime boss, and also took out several million shares of galactic hot topic. now for depressed thot, this one is a little trickier; some would suggest obi wan, however i would say that he is more dumbass than depressed. if we are extending the prequel timeline to the swr era, then i humbly submit kanan as the prequels’ resident depressed thot, as evidenced by his post-66 alcoholic/sexual bender (but we are all grateful that he recovered from his alcoholism, yet kept the thottiness), or kallus, as an alternative

original trilogy

(surely we are all thinking of lando calrissian as some kind of thot, and he may very well be, but he is neither depressed, dumbass, or edgy; rather lando has SURPASSED such vulgar types, so we do not include him in this ranking out of respect.)

it may be controversial, but i argue that jabba the hutt is the dumbass thot of the ot (though perhaps “deranged” or “disgusting” might be better terms). for edgy thot, look no further than our dear dr. aphra, who is running around wild space with murder droids and awakening strange feelings in femme aliens around the galaxy im not up to date on dr aphra but i hope that’s what’s going on. ah but who is the depressed thot? well, dear readers, it is none other than anakin skywalker, once again, the man whose thottiness caused a 20 year totalitarian regime and a subsequent galactic civil war. his thottiness is so intense and wide ranging that he once again ranks as one of the galaxy’s biggest hoes, but this time as depressed rather than dumbass, as years of servitude to the shriveled, evil windbag of his master sort of put a damper on the whole “dark side reigning supreme” that he had been promised.

sequel trilogy

it seems that most of the thots are villains! this is true for dumbass thot armitage hux, who hated kylo ren so much that he was HONORBOUND to help the resistance solely to make kylo’s life that much worse (a noble cause, to be certain). this is also true for the edgy thot, who is that one alien gal who warned the first order that the resistance rolled up to maz kanata’s castle. but heroes, too, are more than capable of being thots. our sequel trilogy heroes are, sadly, not thots (though they are all disgustingly in love with each other (rose included)), but never fear! the st’s depressed thot, coming in with the incredible upset, is…………… griff halloran

unthinkable, you cry! unbelievable! but OHO dear readers, griff halloran is OOZING with depressed thot energies!!!! former imperial TIE, down on his luck racer in a backwater (literally) fueling station, fit silver fox???? like hello????

#i went thorugh like five different writing styles in this #bored ama #Anonymous #asks #they only fear me bc i speak the TRUTH #my posts