#but on the boat in particular we can see that she's not desperate for that connection and in fact she recognizes that it's too late | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ohmypawsandwhiskers · 1 month

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OC Master list

(Descriptions are still in progress)

Baldur's Gate 3 OC

Evaline "Eva" Mercer (tumblr tags)

(absolute feral; we love an unhinged queen)

Monk/Druid subclass, but only learned enough to speak to animals; born of a notable wood elf artisan and picked up the trades at a young age, particularly when it comes to painting and calligraphy. She would travel around with her father and learned to barter and charm people into better prices and better goods. He eventually became disgraced and turned to drinking and drugs, leaving Eva to fend for herself most of the time. This is where she develops a talent for schmoozing people into getting what she wants, and if she is unable to do so, she turns to stealing.

At the age of 23, she falls in love with another artisan who focused on shipwrights and sail making. She spends a significant amount of time with him, taking day trips out to sea on vessels he made, and fell in love with the freedom and chaos that came with the sea. Freedom, being that it was just you and whomever else was by your side, and chaos being a natural state in her life since her father lost his status, and that felt safe and normal. The status quo.

One night, while she’s messing around with him, her father discovers them together. He flies into a fit of rage and kills the shipwright. Scared and distraught, Eva runs away and steals a small boat and sails off out of the port with nothing but the clothes on her back. A few days later, delirious from the sun and hunger, she washes up near a monastery. Desperate for food and shelter, she joins them and undertakes the monastic way of life, but is never truly happy. She sees it as a means to an end, and a way to learn how to harness power. (IN DURGE AU: Darius is the first person she kills when her urges manifest, quickly followed by her father, and she wrestles between guilt and pride of being a Bhaalspawn).

While with the monks, she enjoys learning but chafes under the rigidity of it all, feeling trapped to routine and craving a bit of chaos. Quietness and structure feel unsafe. It is unfamiliar and uncomfortable, so while there, she tries her best to mix things up a bit, a fact that that particular monastery didn’t much like. After 10 years of service, she leaves (explain more later).

For five years, she wanders the forests, getting to know nature and developing her appreciation for animals of all kinds. Prior to getting abducted, she joined druids and began learning a few things from them. It’s while she’s on a foraging expedition that the mind flayers abduct her.

Personality Eva is a bit of a wild card. She has her moments of kindness towards strangers, but they can be few and far between and often serves an ulterior motive. When it comes to BG3 companions, however, some of her walls come down, and she shows genuine kindness to them, where she deems appropriate, and would literally kill for all of them. She has a vicious streak that she nurtures frequently, sometimes with reason, and sometimes to just mix things up a bit because things are feeling a bit too calm/predictable, which again, makes her very uncomfortable (the calm before the storm). She fears attachment of any kind, for fear of losing power, control, and autonomy. She is thirsty for knowledge and power, seeing the two lead into each other nicely and as an avenue to ensure she maintains autonomy over what she cares for. She loves to paint and read. One thing that stuck around from her monastery days: practicing daily stances to maintain her fighting style. It not only keeps her in shape and flexible, but also helps her feel connected to the earth.

Race: Wood Elf Class: Monk/Druid Background: Guild Artisan; Durge Romance: Astarion Allignment: Chaotic Neutral

Attack on Titan OC

Lozen Daniella Pierce (tumblr tags)

Background

(Looks like she could murder you, could murder you, but cinnamon roll at heart, even if she’s blunt)

Lozen "Dani" Pierce belongs to one of four Circles, comprised of different tribes of indigenous people that assisted King Fritz in the Titan attack and were granted lands behind the walls as a sign of gratitude and friendship. One day, she comes across a young Erwin in the woods and, after finding out he just lost his father due to his belief in the truth, she brings him to her Circle and befriends him. She, her twin brother (Nevin), her father (Manny, also referred to as Chief), and the others in her Circle essentially take him in and nurture his curiosity in finding the truth, as they, too, share his belief in the truth behind the walls and the outside world. At the age of 18, after placing in the top of the Circle's challenge to determine three participants to send into the Cadet Corps to become Scouts, Dani, Nevin, and her cousin Sal join Erwin in the Cadet Corps.

The night of graduation, Dani is informed her father has fallen ill and requires intensive care, so without a word to Erwin, she leaves and takes on the care of her father.

Six years later, Erwin receives a letter from Dani requesting his assistance. He finds her in a cell, badly beaten, and awaiting trial for the murder of her husband. He digs around the crime scene and discovers evidence that her husband had been involved in slave trade and forced labor of her Circle; it also ties her into a shady network working behind the scenes. In addition, it is clear that whatever MPs arrested and charged Dani with the wanton murder of her husband ignored clear evidence of self-defense. Erwin takes on the case and successfully saves Dani from the death penalty, on the condition she provides community service through the Scouts for three years.

Personality (to be updated)

Dani is complicated, to say the least, especially at the beginning of the fic, as she is full of contradictions and believes herself to be a monster for the actions she's taken. She has a dry sense of humor and an innate curiosity about the world around her. While she chafes under her expected role in the Circle, trying to defy and forge her own path with the goal of being a warrior like in the stories that were passed down, she steps into the caretaker and medic role when its needed. Family is very important to her. She loves being out in nature and exploring.

As she grows older, she becomes calloused and closed off to all around her as she searches for a way to protect herself, her family, and her Circle. She is willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish her goals. After leaving the cadet corps, she uses her physical and observational skills to work as an intelligence broker, knowing how to get people to respond in a way she wants. Dani comes to appreciate some of the luxuries of high society as she makes a name for herself. To those that knew her when she was growing up, it is also surprising to see her loving dresses and fashion since she used to opt for trousers and a tunic instead of ribbon skirts and dresses.

For the people she trusts, she shows a softer side, even if it is tinged in sarcasm. However, after her experience with her late husband, who used her, she is fearful of love and connection, believing it to be a cage and tool to use people.

Romance: previous - Vincent Moreno; Erwin Smith

Dragon Age OC

Nehna (pre-veil through DAI) (tumblr tags)

(cinnamon roll too pure for this world and is constantly mad about it)

Nehna is one of the leaders of the slave rebellion against the Evanuris. She is fiercely loyal to her friends and a bit standoffish to newcomers until she can trust them. It is hard for her to put her faith in other people, preferring to be in control at all times. She has a sense of duty and responsibility that she can get carried away with. Nehna has an affinity and a gift of working with plants and gets absolutely furious when anyone cuts the roots off of flowers when they gift it to her. Background: Elf, Champion of Dirthamen Class: Rogue - Assassin Romance: Solas, Barris

Mass Effect OC

Makeda "Kei" Shepard

(Big ol' nerd with a big ol' heart and big feelings that make her go mute sometimes with how much she gets overwhelmed)

After the attack on Mindoir, leaving her an orphan, a teenage Kei is sent to an orphanage on the Citadel, and encounters Garrus via schooling. She is selectively mute and very good with electronics, building her first droid for a school fair. When Kei kills a C-SEC officer their final year, Garrus and Kei fall out, only to get reconnected as both try to hold Saren accountable. Kei gets very defensive when anyone questions her intelligence as a result of being bullied by the other kids on the Citadel for being a colonist "hick" and, for all intents and purposes mute when she's first in school and working through the trauma of losing her family and friends on Mindoir. She has a very strong sense of justice, and if anyone wrongs her, they are forever on her shit list.

Class: Engineer Background: Colonist; Skyllian Blitz Romance: ME1 - Kaidan; ME2 and ME3 - Garrus Vakarian Chosen ending: Synthesis

#oc master list #housekeeping

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deviantartdramahub · 11 months

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All about DeviantART drama! (tumblr.com) <- The Link

Gelly thinks we all pissed off, nice fucking try sweetie, sure you arent confusing us with your salty ass? I mean ffs you get pissy when tam decides to forgive his friends that you hate cuz they dont sniff club’s diapered ass.

Gelly is an intelligent young lady who couldn't confound herself with you losers if she tried. And she's correct, you're all angry because we continue to ruin what you call fun, which includes bullying, harassment, stalking, slandering, fabricating lies, taking words out of context, impersonating other people, and getting people you HATE banned from websites…anything else? Oh yeah, you don't follow your own rules, which state that none of the actions listed above should be performed by any of your members, including yourself Mod-S!

Wow, could you possibly be any more hypocritical? At least Gellygirl has a reason to be angry with you, since you're being exposed as a group of liars and scumbags rather than the "innocent individuals" you so desperately attempt to portray as "the truth."

If anything WE TALK IN CAPS BECAUSE IT SEEMS YOU ARE STUPID AND CANT UNDERSTAND UNLESS WE MAKE IT VERY CLEAR TO YOU AND THAT DIPSHIT CLUBBY PEDOMAN. Now understand? =3 Nah, you just gonna cherry pick this like the ‘poor wil victim you are boo hoo’ wanna tussle sweetie? Move your tumblr account on over here and mouth off to us so ol mod can ban your ass. (or someone can point out Gelly’s comment on drama hub so they can save mod the trouble of searching so they can ban her ass quicker.)

Gellygirl is not ignorant; as stated previously, she is actually quite intelligent. Are you sure you're not mistaken when you refer to her as "stupid"? It is common knowledge that if you use the caps lock, you intend to bellow rather than speak; therefore, are you certain that you are not thinking about yourself? Do you need me to write it with coloured paint so that you can better comprehend it?

Also, labelling someone a "dipshit" is equivalent to calling them "stupid," and it's "the poor wee victim you are, boo hoo" rather than "poor wil." xD The more I read this, the more convinced I am that you were referring to yourself when you dubbed Gelly "stupid."

No one on our end of the blog-boat will ever block, restrict, or even report certain users. Our blog was created long before you even considered doing the "same" thing, but you decided to use your blog as a shitposting blog rather than a blog that provides actual evidence and honest answers… you're just shitposting about people you hate.

Yes, you would have done the things we don't because, as I said, you're a fake blog, nothing more than that of a terrorist cult… which doesn't exactly help prove you're innocent in any sense of the term. Maybe go outside and touch grass for once, rather than locking yourself up in your mother's old, dirty basement to pretend to be tough online, get your head seen too as well, maybe?

If going after Club-Dreamiverse’s associates now (with clear particular interest in them) is their way of guiltlessly going after Club-Dreamiverse after it was mentioned how it might not look good for them (grand finale much?), most of us can see right through it.

The kind of treatment they give to dissent, and them handing out accusations of that and other things without proof despite saying upfront they always look for proof (twofaced much?), is the reason Gelly and the rest of us defend Club in the first place.

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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 2 years

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Holy frick Moon Knight continues to be an excellent show I'm losing my mind the acting???? Ohhh my gosh Marc thinking he isn't worthy of love, crying at the meeting of the Ennead (during the entire scene) and just sounding so broken when he says, "Yes. I'm not well. I need help," the CONVERSATION HE AND LAYLA HAVE ON THE BOAAAAAAAT aksjdkkff "I had it under control until very recently" / "What happened?" / *immediately looks down* "Doesn't matter" ahhhHHHH you can HEAR THE TEARS IN HIS VOICE,,, the outburst in the desert,,, circling back around to Marc thinking he isn't worthy of love oh my gosh like that is explicitly given as the reason he won't tell Layla about Khonshu's threats or anything else really and just pushes her away, it's not because of her safety it's because he's terrified that if he tells her she'll see him as unlovable and he'll be truly alone. Like, Marc and Steven are so desperately lonely, you can see both of them wear their heart on their sleeve in their own ways, they're just so hungry for some sort of constant, stable, real connection--and Marc would rather have to divorce his wife, would rather make her hate him, than have to see her hate him because of who he is. There's just so much raw, vulnerable emotion in Marc and Steven and the show and I can't handle it. I can't handle it and I am obsessed

#marvel #moon knight spoilers #moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #oscar isaac #meta #my meta posts #quality meta seal of approval #not to hype my own post up i just put that on all meta posts so that i can find them #and fricking...i actually like layla???? like i was not expecting to just bc i usually really dislike minor/love-interest female characters #because they're usually very poorly developed and written #but oh my gosh i might make another post just about this but she is 1. a super competent fighter but not overpowered #2. has her own goals and motivations that do not just revolve around marc and/or steven #and 3. SHE HAS BOUNDARIES!!! DANG IT!!!! do you know how rare that is???? like #she clearly still loves marc (and steven) and she wants to really know him #but on the boat in particular we can see that she's not desperate for that connection and in fact she recognizes that it's too late #at least too late for her to keep reaching for it. she knows what's healthy for her and so she says 'doesn't mean we shouldn't have'#and lets it stay in the past #just. so well written. losing my mind #kay has a party in the tags #layla el faouly #kay can i just catch my breath for a second

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hotch-stufff · 3 years

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hello, can I request an au where the team teases the reader because she likes Gibbs a lot and Gibbs do flirt with her... like pure teasing in the au... just the team teasing them both MANY TIMES, ALL THE TIME and reader getting all shy and blushing every time ... and Gibbs just smirking...

Blushing

gif by lucifersagents

Paring: Gibbs x Reader

Warnings!: flirting, a curse word or two, kissing, literally a bunch of fluff tho, and Gibbs being cocky ofc

Description: Gibbs decides to flirt a little, how were you supposed to know he was being serious?

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You had a problem.

Not really a problem, more like an inconvenience.

But it caused problems. You tended to blush, a lot. And when people discovered this, they would try and make you blush, a lot.

One of these people happened to be Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and he, being the cocky man he is, began flirting with you just to see that blush.

This was an even bigger problem because you liked Gibbs. Like a lot. You were probably in love with him at this point. He was just so ... so Gibbs. There weren't really words to describe the man. But he was driving you crazy with the flirting.

And boy did it happen a lot. On cases, in the office, in his basment, just about eveywhere.

Dinozzo and Ziva thought it was the funniest thing. Probably because the comments were so out of character for Gibbs, and because they definitely knew that you liked him.

But when he made one of those stupid comments your face would turn bright red, and Gibbs would get this stupid smirk like he had accomplished something. Which of course led the team to believe he liked you back and you would get the brute end of all the teasing.

Of course, you never thought anything of his flirting. You simply thought it was to mess with you, to find some amusement during the long days you all spent hunting serial killers.

What you didn't know was that he meant every word he said. Every innocent little flirt that would bring out the pink dust that appeared across your cheeks.

* * *

One day in particular he was very persistent.

"Mornin gorgeous." He spoke as he walked through the bullpen. Of course, you knew he was talking to you, so you glanced up rolling your eyes, blushing hard. He looked so good today, although he looked good just about every day.

"Morning Gibbs." You muttered. Barely even 9 am and he's already starting.

"I dunno how ya always looks so pretty Y/n." You looked at him, bewildered, because this was by far the most confident he had been. Usually it was a subtle little comment. Every now and then. You continued to stare at the man bewildered.

But when he caught your eye, he winked at you. The man FUCKING WINKED at you. You were sure your face was beat red at this point.

He turned around like he hadn't said a word, leaving you to calm yourself and try and get your face to look somewhat normal before everyone filed in the room. Of course there was no getting rid of that stupid red blush. Especially since the man you were practically in love with, just said those, those things to you.

"Already started Gibbs? And I missed it!?" Dinozzo says as he walks past your desk. You simply rolled your eyes again. Usually you would let the comment go, but you decided to say something back.

"Oh shut up Dinozzo. You're just jealous he isn't flirting with you." You aren't sure where this new found confidence came from, but you definitely appreciated it. Not only does it get a laugh from Gibbs, but also McGee and Ziva who had just entered the room.

Ziva sent you a look, shooting a glance at Gibbs as her own smirk adorned her face. She raised her eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner, causing your blush to deepen. But you had just shut up Dinozzo, and that is no small feat.

Feeling very proud of yourself, you glance at Gibbs, only to duck your head again when you saw that stupid smirk. You knew what was coming.

"Well Y/l/n, quite confident are we?" He paused, probably to prepare you for his next words. "It's hot." Aaaand here comes the blush. Shyly, you ducked your head for the millionth time that day, and avoided all eyes. Snickering was heard across the room and you are 100 percent sure if you glanced up there would be...

That.

Stupid.

Smirk.

God that smirk was starting to do things to you. If Gibbs kept going like he was for the rest of the day, you might just have to die from embarrassment or waltz over and kiss the man.

The latter was looking more appealing at the moment. And as soon as Gibbs left the room, the teasing began. The constant teasing from Dinozzo about how you should make a move already.

You again told them he didn't feel the same as he gave you a disbelieving look.

"Sure Y/l/n, if you say so." And the conversation moved on.

* * *

A week or two passed and the comments were getting scarce, one or two a day. He hadn't ambushed you like he had that morning in a while.

And you hated the disappointed feeling you got.

You didn't really appreciate the flirting in front of other people, and the constant blushing was annoying yeah, plus the teasin from the team got on your nerves, but you liked the idea of Gibbs flirting with you. And you liked Gibbs.

Maybe he liked you too?

No, that's stupid.

It was just innocent flirting. He didn't mean anything, right?

You decided that you desperately needed to know. You decided to find out right then. You got in your car at 10 pm and drove to his house, finding him in his basement.

He heard you come down, and as soon as you stepped off the last step, his eyes dragged up and down your body, making you feel hot all over.

He was checking you out. And he wasn't very subtle about it.

"What can I do for ya ... bueatiful." Here we go.

"I wanted to talk to you." You spoke out meekly. Your voice quiet.

"Oh? Just talk?" He asked slyly, his eyes telling you a whole story.

"Y-yes." He noticed your nervousness and a look of concern flashed across his face. He knew you would get shy when he flirted, never nervous. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Your next words took him a bit by surprise. "Why do you flirt with me?"

He looked rather shocked for a moment before recovering.

"Why?" Was his only response.

"I just wanna know. Does it mean anything?" He wanted to say no. That it didn't mean anything. Just to see you blush. That was why he did it. Thats how it started anyways. But then he got addicted to that blush. He fell in love with your adorable blush.

"Yes." Your cheeks tinted and you smiled.

"Well then. Are you going to just talk?"you asked, referencing to his earlier words. And there was the smirk. That handsome smirk you had no doubt fallen for.

One moment he was standing next to his boat and the next he was kissing you fiercer than you though possible. Brushing strands of hair from your face, he deepened the kiss, his tounge fighting against yours. You whined into his mouth, causing him to smile against your lips. He broke away only when the need for air became too strong.

"I love ya." He pecked your lips. "Georgous." You giggled shaking your head.

"I love you too. But you know what I love even more." This was gonna be a long shot. But you had to see if it would work. He looked at you confused, tilting his head adorably. You paused for only a second longer. "Your ass."

And his cheeks tinted bright red, as you smirked.

Now you knew exactly why he had done it so damn much.

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Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

#ncis gibbs #leroy jethro gibbs #gibbs imagine #jethro gibbs x reader #gibbs x reader #gibbs #jethro gibbs #ncis x reader #ncis imagine #ncis #ncis reader insert #reader insert #imagine #fluff #flirting #cocky gibbs #blushing

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kashimos-hajime · 4 years

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pretty face on a pretty neck | b.b.

summary: they aren’t fucking dating. not fucking friends, either. no, bucky just fucks romanoff’s best friend until she’s fucking stupid, begging for it, and leaves in the morning because that’s how the universe fucking works. and sometimes, he wishes it didn’t work that way.

WARNINGS: a tiny bit of smut (18+), fingering, choking, swearing, drinking, brief mentions of cheating, bucky’s just really fucking jealous, mentions of a shitty relationship and self-doubt from it, the dark knight spoilers, fluffy end!! pairing: modern!bucky barnes x fem!reader, brief steve rogers x fem!reader lmaoo word count: 5.5k

a/n: this is a cute lil piece written for @sourpatchkidsandacokecan! my prompt was “you called me, remember?” inspired by kiwi by harry styles.

For a moment, Bucky wonders how the fuck he got into this situation.

Then again, he’s not complaining.

The view is fucking stellar.

You weave through the crowd, glistening like some glazed dessert that he can’t wait to get his mouth on. Your lips are shining with a swipe of that sweet lipgloss he loves to suck off and you’re wearing that black dress.

The black dress. Shorter than short, showing every inch of skin yet not enough.

You toss your head back, exposing that neck that he loves to bite to Steve who grins, glad his joke landed. Stifling a scowl, Bucky grabs his scotch and throws it back, desperate not to grab you and throw you into a stall just to mark you up as his.

You had made him promise, after all. No socialization outside their little nightcap sessions that often lead to… well, Bucky’s game for anything really.

A cigarette is pinched between your lips and Steve helps you light it with a flick of his lighter, the burning embers glowing in the dark, seedy bar. Leaning on the bar counter, you talk to Sam wiping down his station and he nods, eyes dragging over your face and Bucky cannot tear his gaze away as Sam pours you three shots of vodka. You blow out a lungful of smoke, cigarette pinched between two fingers before glancing at Steve and making some sort of bet, based on the way your lips curl.

They go down like water, dripping down your chin and you laugh when Steve wipes it off your collarbones before he grabs your chin and smashes his lips against yours. You immediately reciprocate, mouth opening as he bends you over the bar, his hair golden and his hand trailing up your thigh.

“Fucker,” Bucky mutters, finally managing to rip his gaze away. A heat blazes through his stomach.

Stupid fucking party for damn Romanoff’s birthday. Sometimes he hates being some of the oldest friends that redhead knows. It makes him feel creepy, wading through a sea of college students that are only one or two years younger than him. Steve himself is finishing his last year, so he’s sure he doesn’t share Bucky’s plight of feeling old.

He wishes he could just approach you and ask to leave, pin you against the wall of his apartment, take you like he knows Steve’s going to later, but he can’t.

You aren’t fucking dating. Not fucking friends, either.

No, Bucky just fucks Romanoff’s best friend until she’s fucking stupid, begging for it, and leaves in the morning because that’s how the universe fucking works.

And sometimes, he wishes it didn’t work that way.

“Not enjoying yourself, James?” Birthday Girl Romanoff asks, appearing at his shoulder and he turns to her, shifting in his seat.

“Steve’s too busy chatting up your friend for me to do anything,” he replies, keeping his tone light and Romanoff glances at where Steve’s made his way to kissing up your neck, your fingers carded through his hair.

“Give him a break,” Romanoff says. “They both need to get laid.”

“You don’t think she’s getting laid?” Bucky asks incredulously. “Every fucking guy I’ve met has said they wanted to get with her at least once.”

“Sounding a bit jealous over someone you claim to hate, James,” the redhead teases, sipping on her mojito with raised eyebrows.

“I’m just saying. All the boys were saying they were into it.”

“And you?”

“She’s… a brat.”

“Seems to me that you’re into that,” she hums, leaning on his shoulder. “Honestly, it would’ve been better if you two met before her and her stupid boyfriend did. Ever since she moved in with Rumlow…” The woman trails off and Bucky absently fills in the blanks, she’s faked every single orgasm she’s had with him. “I don’t know. He’s a fucking prick. Doesn’t treat her like she deserves.”

“Does he—“

“No. Just… never a priority, is she? Why else is she here alone?” Natasha pauses, as if debating how much to tell him, then adds, “Then he gets all pissy about where she’s been. On his beck and call, isn’t she?”

“Asshole,” Bucky replies distantly. Steve has his hand basically up your dress and he watches as your legs pull him closer, your lips running along the shell of his ear. “You’re endorsing your best friend cheating on her boyfriend, you know, when we could just be beating him up”

“Hey. She said she was going to break up with him. I can’t make those choices up for her and I’m not about to land any of my friends in jail trying to be my ride or dies.” Romanoff shrugs, glancing at her friend. “Besides, she doesn’t have anywhere else to go, does she? It’s not like she can move into my dorm or move back into her parents across the country.” Bucky watches as you hook your legs around Steve’s waist and he hoists you into his arms, disappearing into the crowd.

By the direction, Bucky can guess the destination and some distant part of his head whispers, She could move in with me.

“Might want to avoid the bathrooms for a while,” he comments and Romanoff snorts, the ice crackling by her straw as she stirs her drained glass.

“I’m going to go get laid, too,” she replies frankly. “Don’t stay brooding in the corner, Barnesy-bear. Your face is one worthy of being sat on.”

“Thank you.”

With that, the redhead slips into the crowd and Bucky gets up, plucking his jacket and leaving the bar. His pants are tight with the thought of your mouth and the sound of your gasping breaths echoing in his ear. The feeling of your fingers scratching down his back makes him roll his shoulders back as he flags a cab.

So what if you’re fucking Steve?

It’s not like he’s exclusive with you.

He can’t fault his best friend for having excellent fucking taste.

As he enters the cab and tells the driver his address, he wonders how the fuck someone like Rumlow snagged the title as your boyfriend when there are so many other options.

Steve being one, but he’s still living on-campus.

Bucky doesn’t want to say it, but maybe he, with his own apartment and steady job and intimate knowledge of your desires and interests and needs, is the other.

It’s two weeks later when he finally sees you again, at Romanoff’s birthday function at the beach. Something with closer friends, in broad daylight at a beach house Romanoff’s parents own. She and Sam are already there by the time Bucky gets there, unpacking in rooms for a weekend stay.

“Take any room you like,” Romanoff calls from upstairs and Bucky does so, choosing one of the few rooms on the main floor just as another figure walks in.

“I’m here, Nat!” Your voice echoes against wooden walls as Bucky pokes his head out of his room to see you there. He doesn’t know whether he should feel guilty or not that he’s glad Steve hasn’t sated your hunger when you show up alone, shorts riding up your thighs and a t-shirt that is so sheer it does nothing to conceal the bikini top you wear beneath it. “I’m taking my usual room.”

“Fine with me!”

With that, you walk down the hall, eyes meandering over the living room and kitchen. Bucky’s throat closes up when you walk past the stairs to stop at his room and you smirk all saccharine at him.

“Hey, Barnes.”

He scans your face for a moment. “You came. Thought you’d still be sucking Steve’s face off like you were back at the bar. Or… sucking his dick. Whatever floats your boat.”

“Well, that was a one-off thing. Heat of the moment,” you dismiss, leaning against his door frame and he hates the way you look against the wood. Makes something in him stir, makes the blood run hot and his mind focus on one image in particular.

“What’d your boyfriend say when he saw your neck fucking marked up?” he asks, uncaring of the thin ice he stands upon. You frown, arms crossing.

“I was careful,” you reply tightly, “and I didn’t let him leave any marks.”

Bucky can’t help the small flash of satisfaction at hearing that. “You’re not careful with me. I like seeing your neck tatted up with it,” he comments, his hand twitching to wrap around your throat as he lifts his finger to trace the soft, pulsing vein along your neck. You tilt your chin up, eyes narrowing with amusement.

“I’m not yours, Barnes.”

“What you say tells me differently, princess.” Dropping his hand to grab your wrist, he pulls you into his room and slams the door shut, pinning you against it with a harsh push. You exhale sharply, the breath pushing out of your lungs as your bags drop with a disant thump. His senses zero in on everything about you, the light scent of the sunblock smeared into your skin, the cotton twisting beneath his fist as his other hand finds your neck on its own accord. “You’ve been distant lately, kitten.”

He can feel your racing pulse against his palm as you smirk, hands wrapping around his waist and pulling him flush against you. Every inch of his skin is pressed against yours as you hike a leg up onto his hip. His hand at your waist immediately goes to cup it and you loop your arms around his neck innocently.

“I’ve had a lot of work to do. Brock and I…” You let out a soft hum as if to ponder but he knows it’s just to piss him off, “spent some time alone. Romantic trip out of town. Then, I had other things to do.”

“Did you?” It’s not a question Bucky wants answered as you nod demurely, lips twisted into a smirk. He wants nothing more than to yank your shorts down, spin you around, and have you screaming his name as he takes you again and again. He’s been blue balled for two weeks and you haven’t answered any of his calls.

Now, he knows why.

“So, that stupid boyfriend of yours was with you, huh?” he asks, not waiting for an answer as he leans in close. He can taste the vodka in your mouth still, the vodka he never got to taste two weeks before in a bar, along with something fruity. Your gum, maybe, or an orange that you sucked clean off its peel. “And then what? Did you hop off after you faked your way through a few nights with him and head for Steve’s? Hm?”

“Temper, temper, James,” you whisper, lips barely brushing his. His entire body is alight, every nerve shooting sensations through his limbs as your fingers curl against the nap of his neck. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous.”

“Jealous, yeah.” His hand on your thigh trails up and inward, sneaking past the hem of your shorts as you lower your leg to hook on his calf, pulling him infinitely closer. His dick is pressing against his swim shorts, completely obvious and painfully hard against your navel as he shifts his hips just enough to let his hand sneak further up your shorts. “Why would I be jealous?”

His fingers find the silky slip of your bikini bottom and brush over the junction of your hip, smirking at the tremble he can feel course through your body.

“You wanted me that night at the bar,” you whisper as he slowly trails deeper inward. “Tell me that isn’t true.”

“Who didn’t, hm?” He smirks when you turn your face away, biting your lip at his fingers dancing around a spot already slickening with anticipation. “C’mon, princess. You telling me you didn’t wear that black dress for me? Look at me.”

You refuse and he rubs his thumb into the side of your neck, dipping his head to bite at your collarbones.

“Look at me, princess,” he whispers, lifting his head to see your defiant gaze meeting his. “Tell me the truth about the black dress.”

“I didn’t wear it for you,” you bite back softly, “to fuck me in.” His hand tightens, just barely around your neck and your eyes flutter shut. Oh, how badly he wants to ravage your lips, lock you in this room and just take you in every way you want…

“Trying to make me jealous, kitten?” he rasps as your hips roll against his dick and you bite your lip, chin tilting up as your nails dig into his skin. Because it worked.

“So what if I was?”

“Then, you’re going to have to pay for it.” He spins you around and moves to shove his shorts just past his hips. You let out a sharp exhale at the pressure of his hand against the back of his neck, your hands pressed flat against the door. “You got anything to say for yourself, princess?”

His swim shorts fall and he tugs your shorts down just past your ass, tracing the smooth curve of it with an arrogant curve to his lip. His lips find your neck, nipping lightly before raising to your ear.

“I asked you a question.” His hand lands on your ass, kneading it with warm, familiar fingers and his words are a warning. In the silence, he can almost hear you rolling your eyes, struggling not to moan when he feathers smooth skin, tempts you with tiny brushes between the legs.

“You gonna keep talking, Barnes, or you gonna prove a point?”

His fingers hook on your bikini bottom, pulling the elastic away with an amused grin before letting it snap back against your skin.

“I don’t know. Are you gonna continue being a fucking brat?” He squeezes your neck, fingers digging into the soft flesh and you almost seem to melt against the door before he drags those bikini bottoms down too. Rolling his hips flush against your ass, he smirks when you shudder and try to thrust him in with a messy jerk back. “Aw, did you miss this?”

“Wouldn’t miss a thing about you,” you reply but it comes out strangled as his other hand wraps around your hip, travels down your navel. It wraps around your waist, keeps you tight against him as you smother his wrist between the door and your hips. When his fingers find your bud, you let out a soft sigh at the pressure he begins to rub into you and he smirks, biting the shell of your ear.

“C’mon, princess. You can admit it if you like,” he murmurs. Your fingers dig into the wood as you try to push yourself—in what direction, away from his hand, towards it, Bucky doesn’t know. He reaches farther down, fingers tracing through slick heat and he chuckles huskily against your skin, biting lightly into the junction of your neck and shoulder. “‘S that all for me?”

“Shut up,” you growl. Your eyes flash to him and he pushes you flush against the door, your head falling back against his shoulder as cock nestles itself between your cheeks. So close, not quite there. His hand on your neck travels forward, crooking inward and his fingers wrap around a silky neck from the front. He can feel every beat of your heart, the raspy whistle of your breathing. Lips falling to your exposed neck, Bucky sucks marks he knows are going to last if he doesn’t stop himself soon but two weeks has been two weeks too long— “Barnes.”

“Relax… it’s been a while since you’ve had a proper fuck.”

“Cocky bastard.”

“Needy brat.”

Your eyes flutter shut as his fingers work at a languid pace inside you. He knows every nook and cranny, every angle that brings you euphoria and he grinds his palm against your clit with every thrust, arrogant smile growing when you melt back onto his shoulder, lips slightly parted.

“Don’t have time for foreplay,” you finally manage to croak and you turn to look at him, eyes surprisingly clear for having his fingers in your soaking heat and working you up a steady incline.

“It’s the fucking beach, kitten. They won’t be in a rush to get anywhere.” Your lips are tantalizing up close and he chuckles, fingers pressing gently into your pulse. “How quiet can you be?”

“Try me,” you breathe, chest heavy and eyes filling with assured focus, “bitch.”

Challenge accepted.

Nudging your legs ever so lightly apart, he is about to push in. He can feel your heart beating through your back, a quick, racing drum and your breasts heave with every anticipating breath.

“James! Y/N! Wanna meet Steve at the beach?”

Natasha’s voice breaks the humid tension like a hot knife through butter, and your eyes fly open as if you’ve risen from a trance and he growls, not quite moving yet.

To say nothing raises suspicion.

He hates it here.

“Sure!” Bucky yells back right into your ear, much to your displeasure and he shrugs, trying to repress the smirk as his hand drops and playfully squeezes your breast. You return with a subtle nip to his jaw and he steps back. Your shoulders drop and you turn around, leaning against the door with a soft, condescending smile. Your eyes are blown with a mistiness and your thighs press together as he sucks his fingers clean. Your gaze narrows, he smirks with glee.

“What was that about not being in a rush to get anywhere?” you ask, dismissively sweeping your gaze up and down his body before grabbing your pants and pulling them up. His eyes follow the slow trail of the fabric and he sighs softly between parted lips. “Play one of those audios I know you’ve got on your phone. Can’t ever get enough of me, can you, soldier boy?”

“Don’t put yourself on a pedestal, princess.”

“I’m not.” You pick up your bags and open the door, letting cool sea wind sweep into the room that was cloudy with heat and lust. He can’t help the smile that digs into his cheeks despite how disappointed he is as you shrug innocently. You play the part so well. “It’s just the facts.”

Not for the first time, Bucky is left with the thought that Rumlow doesn’t deserve a second of your time.

It’s near the end of the month, the very last day. The thirty-first of May.

You broke up with your stupid boyfriend three days ago. He knows because he looked at your Instagram only to find all the pictures with him gone.

But he wasn’t stalking. He was just…

Curious.

Also, Natasha FaceTimed him and Steve, ranting all about it. So, he came upon this naturally.

Not stalking at all.

“Hey.” Bucky’s lying flat on his bed, naked and the sheets are too warm as he hears you pick up with a disgruntled sigh. “You awake?”

“Am now.” You don’t sound too heartbroken but your voice is a bit thicker than he remembers as you sniff. “What do you want?”

“Are you sick?”

“No, I was crying.”

He arches an eyebrow at your blunt response but doesn’t continue that line of interrogation. “Where are you staying?”

“Why does it matter to you? What do you want?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to come over, princess,” he replied dryly. “But if you’re on the streets, I can come pick you up.”

“I’m not on the streets,” you reply sharply in a way that makes Bucky doubt your words. “But fine. I’ll be there in a moment.”

“Princess,” he begins but you cut him off.

“I just needa pack some things. See you in twenty.”

You hang up without another word. He lets his cellphone drop with a heavy sigh, sitting up and pulling on some boxers and some ratty old university hoodie.

It’s another fifteen minutes before there’s a knock on the door and he moves from the kitchen to the door, abandoning the orange juice he poured to pass the time. Swinging open the door to reveal that pretty face, he smirks to hide the concerned expression threatening to overtake his face. You look like hell, heavy eye bags and a wariness that he’s not used to seeing on your bold face. You’ve got luggage by your legs and a backpack is strapped to you as you regard him.

“Look what the cat dragged in.”

“You called me, remember?” you reply dryly. He steps aside, inviting you in. Walking in, toeing off your sneakers, and shedding your jacket, you let your backpack drop as Bucky pulls your luggage in. “Woke me up and everything.”

“Yeah, I bet I woke you up from your beauty sleep,” he snorts and you roll your eyes as his eyes trail over the dull skin of your shoulders, the limpness of your hair. He closes the door behind him, an unfamiliar tug pulling at his stomach. “Your boyfriend didn’t even give you time to find a new place?”

“No. And he’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

“Just a guy you used to fuck on occassion who couldn’t even make you come,” he says sagely and you sigh, rolling your eyes again.

“Are you describing yourself?” The words make blue eyes flash to meet yours and you smirk at the dangerous warning glimmering in his irises. Cocking your head, you shrug and lean against his dining table. “So, what do you want?”

“Why do I ever call you here if it isn’t for fucking you, huh, princess?” he muses, but even he can’t find the reason anymore. Whatever libido he was housing had melted in the time between you hanging up and you arriving at his apartment. As you stand before him, his blue eyes flicker from your exhausted face to the way your body seems strung out and on high alert. He sighs, too. “I didn’t want you in some seedy motel where the locks don’t work and the concierge is probably on the registered sex offender’s list. That sound good enough for you?”

You smile, the only thing familiar about you, and it sends a wave of relief through him. “Being nice isn’t your colour, Barnes.”

“Go take a shower,” he retorts, plucking your bag from the floor by your feet and he notices you don’t protest when he grabs your jacket and throws it in the hamper. “Then, we’ll talk.”

“Fine.” You’re unnaturally obedient as you head silently for the bathroom and he brings your luggage to the living room, setting it by the couch and laying it flat. Unzipping it quickly, he grabs the clean clothes he can find right off the bat and goes into his room to put them on his bed so you can grab them as soon as you come out. You’re standing in his bathroom, shedding your tank top and he grabs some clean towels.

It’s a strangely intimate silence as he offers you the towels and you dip your head in thanks. He can see the beginnings of a bruise on your bicep and he reaches tenderly for it, fingers barely brushing your skin.

“Did he—” The anger comes unbridled, hot and heavy and dark, in his voice and you don’t even jerk out of his touch. You’re completely relaxed in his presence as you look at your reflection in the mirror, so unlike a few minutes before when you’d been a ball of tension and you shake your head. His thumb gently digs into your skin and he can feel the pulsing heat of it. It’s fresh. Not even a day old, probably.

“No. I was walking and it was dark. Guy was coming out of a cab and didn’t see me standing there. Got whacked by the door,” you assure, pulling your arm out of his loose hold. Unbuttoning your pants, you continue to undress as he stands there, eyebrows knitting together. The air is wrought with an energy he’s unfamiliar with and he withdraws but your hand reaches for his wrist. Wide eyes dart to your face and he’s shocked by the surprisingly soft smile pulling at your lips. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, uh, sure. Hungry?”

You let go of his wrist and his skin is tingling. He rubs at it absently as you nod, your strange smile ever present. “Starving.”

“I’ll whip you something to eat.”

As he’s stirring Kraft Dinner around in a bowl, he listens to the shower run and thinks.

Or doesn’t think.

Time seems to pass in such a strange way. He’s cooking for you and you’re in his shower and nothing about this is normal or something he’s used to, but it’s not something he hates.

The shower turns off just as he’s sliding the mac into a bowl and he pours you a glass of water before finishing his own abandoned cup of orange juice.

Your footfalls are light and you smell like his shampoo as you sit down at his kitchen island, clad in the clothes he laid out for you.

“It’s just some Kraft I had lying around,” he says uneasily, pushing the bowl towards you but you take it anyway with a shrug and a easygoing smile. You look more awake after the shower and colour has worked its way back into your lips. There’s new life in your eyes as you eat and Bucky, satisfied, heads for the couch just to watch whatever’s on until you’re done.

Everything seems so strange, mundane, almost… domestic as you eat, scroll your phone, and he watches The Dark Knight just because it’s on. He watches the movie blindly, his mind still going a mile a minute and his body unintentionally becoming attune to yours in a way he only knows with when he’s fucking you.

But now, he knows how you move, knows when you’re putting your bowl in the sink and knows when you’re walking towards him by the way his heart starts beating just a millisecond quicker, the gentle give of his couch as you sit down beside him. Your eyes burn into his cheek and he glances at you out of the corner of your eye.

“Come here,” he allows, lifting his arm from the pillow and you scoot closer, pulling the pillow into your lap and hugging it tight. He rests his arm along the back of the couch. “You didn’t die of food poisoning. Pity.”

“You’d have to be truly something to fuck up Kraft Dinner, Barnes,” you reply dryly, smirking at him and he suppresses a snort as you tuck your knees up. “It was good. Although, I hope you’re not living off of that stuff.”

“I do take out every once in a while,” he says with a shrug and you roll your eyes.

“I’m a college student and I can cook better than you.”

“You’re one year younger than me. We’re not so different.”

“Whatever you say.”

Bucky can’t help the amused smile edging its way onto his face as you fall into silence, watching the movie, too. One thing Bucky’s always liked about you, even if he didn’t like anything else, is that you share a lot of the same interests as him. They had whole rants on how terrible some movies were, or the disappointment that was some TV finales. It always made pillow talk a fun time, if they ever made it to that stage.

It was more often than not either of them would wake up before the other and just head out without a single word.

Bucky finds he likes your companionable silence more than he thought he would. Maybe he should’ve indulged pillowtalk a bit more. By the small, sated smile on your lips, he wonders if you’re thinking the same thing.

“You know,” you say after a while, “when I said at the beach house that you wanted me…” Your voice rouses Bucky from his trance of staring at the TV. The credits are rolling and he hadn’t even realized. So lost in his thoughts he was near the end, thinking about Rachel’s letter to Bruce and hyper aware of your every shift in your seat beside him, the movie seemed to pass by in a blink.

Something about the long lost melancholy of lost chances…

Bucky’s never been fucking sentimental, but even he can see the chance that Bruce Wayne really… really missed out on, and the blue-eyed man doesn’t want to be in that position ever. To do the right thing only to find out it’s too late. Because she died in the end, didn’t she? She died and he was alone even though he tried…

“What?”

“At the beach house,” you repeat. “When I basically told you that you wanted me…” you say with a roll of your eyes, “it was just teasing, foreplay.” Then, more seriously: “But I guess I was being like Two-Face. Double entendres, innuendos, all that.”

“You’re going to become a vengeful, homicidal DA?” he quips wryly and you huff in faux irritation, poking him lightly in the chest.

“No. God, use that brain inside that pretty little head of yours for once.”

“Aw, you called me pretty.”

“Barnes.”

“Fine. Continue.”

“Well, what I was saying… When I said you wanted me… God, this is stupid. Feel free to just punch me in the face after, but…”

“But?” Eyebrows knitting together, he looks at you and you pull the blanket up to your face, embarrassment telltale in the way you avert your eyes. He gently pushes the blanket down, muting the TV and waiting patiently. You look more alive that you did the first minute you walked into your apartment and you look like you want to bury yourself in the blankets but he’s not going anywhere and you stare at him, lips pressed into a flustered line. “I’m not going to punch you in the face. You can just tell me.”

“I guess… I just... I wanted to believe that you wanted me,” you state, shaking your head, “for me. Like some affirmation that there’s a possibility you could ever want me like that, and… I’m being dumb. I swear I’m not usually like this, all sentimental and shit, but it’s just I feel like shit and you don’t care about any of that and Brock… I broke up with him because I know he doesn’t love me even if he says he does and that I deserve better but I just… it gets to me, you know? It fucking gets to me when I’m all alone and now I am alone and if he didn’t put me first... maybe it’s because I’m not wanted.”

“Hey, princess,” he murmurs, reaching for your hands and you surrender to him easily as he cranes his head to keep your eye contact despite you ducking your head. “I don’t judge you for any of that shit and that’s wrong. He’s a fucking prick, and people want you here. Romanoff, Steve, Sam…” Me.

“I know. I know and I just… I’m scared because I have nowhere to go. And, you’re always honest with me, and just slap me in the face because… I can’t believe I’m asking you this what if… what if everyone’s gonna treat me like Brock did? What if no one will ever really want me?

There’s a beat.

Then, two.

He’s squeezing your hands so hard he’s surprised you haven’t drawn away but then he realizes your fingers are clutching onto him even tighter, his bones wincing as you crush his digits.

“It’s stupid. I’m stupid—”

“No, you’re not.” Bucky shakes his head and you—fourth year college student and someone he shouldn’t be attached to because you two are so different but he is because you two are so alike—are something else. No one has gotten under his skin like you have.

You’re not fucking stupid. Because I do want you. In a way. In more than one way. And you are irritating and burn so fucking bright and you’re fucking bold, but—

I want you.

He doesn’t say any of that.

And it’s complicated, but that’s how the universe fucking works.

“You’re free to stay here for however long you need to,” he tells you quietly, seriously. “I don’t care how long it is, and there are no catches. Just… just don’t give that fucker another chance, yeah? ‘Cause there’s always gonna be someone who wants you, kitten. Someone who’ll treat you right.”

You smile faintly, knees tucked to your chest and hair still a bit damp from your shower. You’re warm, soft, with no cigarette smoke clouding your silhouette and no glossy sheen of alcohol. You look like you in a way Bucky’s never known before.

He thinks this beats you in any kind of black dress.

“Okay,” you accept and you lean over first to kiss him. It’s a soft peck to the corner of his mouth, an innocent, flitting thing, but Bucky doesn’t mind. He eases against the couch and you lean against his chest, cuddling close against him. His arm falls around your shoulders, holding you tight to him and you melt against him just like he does around you.

For a moment, Bucky wonders how the fuck he got into this situation.

Then again, he’s not complaining.

The view is fucking stellar.

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forabeatofadrum · 2 years

Text

Zimbits April Update: Bay

Larissa is fanning herself. Eric’s gotten used to the heat after many hot summers in Madison, so he laughs when he sees his friend’s reaction.

“I’m about to die!” Larissa laments.

“You can swim,” Eric says. They’re lying on their towels on a beach. Florida has many bays. Larissa saw this particular bay on a travel website, so of course they had to check it out.

Larissa’s already on her feet.

“l’ll race ya!” she says playfully and she runs towards the water.

Larissa’s fast, but Eric’s faster. It doesn’t take long for him to pass her. The two of them run into the water and both sigh from relief, even Eric. It’s just really nice to be hit by the cool waves during this dreadful heat.

The two splash around and at one point, Eric decides to float on his back.

He closes his eyes and he listens to Larissa, who’s noticing a cute guy on the beach. Eric smiles. He loves spending time with Larissa. He thought he was going to be lonely when he realised that he had to stay in Georgia when he couldn’t get a scholarship elsewhere. He was afraid he could never be himself. He worked so hard to make it out, and he failed.

But then Larissa walked up to him on campus. She was a graphic design student, only a year above him, and she was unabashedly herself. When she asked Eric to hang out in her room and he saw a pride flag mounted on her wall, the relief was immense.

Eric just graduated, so of course they needed to go on vacation together.

Eric relaxes. He’s floating and listening to Larissa’s voice. He’s so relaxed that he’s almost dozing off. He realises something is wrong when he can’t hear Larissa anymore.

He stops floating and he sees that he’s far away. Larissa’s back on her feet on the beach and she’s yelling. Eric can vaguely hear her voice, but he can’t make out what she’s saying.

Eric immediately knows what has happened. Riptide. Therefore, he also knows that he has to let himself get go and not try to swim back. He goes back to his floating position and he waits for the riptide to bring him back to shore.

But he doesn’t have to wait for that.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see a lifeguard on a boat coming his way. Eric lifts one of his arms to signal where he is.

A few seconds pass and the lifeguard hoists Eric on board. Eric should be relieved about all of this, but his brain stops when he sees his saviour.

Is it appropriate to appreciate the man who saved him?

“Are you okay?” the lifeguard asks. His blue eyes are filled with worry.

“Y-yeah,” Eric stutters ineloquently.

The lifeguard frowns for a second, but then he gives Eric a comforting smile. “You must be in shock. No worries, I’ll bring you back to shore. Your friend is worried.”

Eric nods. Let the lifeguard think that the shock of being pulled away in a riptide is the thing rendering him speechless.

The very small boat trip is silent and the moment Eric’s feet touch the sand, Larissa has her arms around him.

“Eric, oh my God, oh my God, I am so sorry!” she sobs.

“What for?”

“I was so focused on this hot guy that I didn’t notice that you were no longer floating next to me!”

“You did what you had to do,” the lifeguard says, “You were smart enough to not go after him and instead ask for help. And Eric made the rescue job a whole lot easier for me by staying calm and signaling.”

“How can we repay you?” Larissa asks him.

“Thank you, Mr...” Eric trails off. He so desperately wants the lifeguard to give him his name.

“Jack is fine,” the lifeguard, Jack, says, “And I’m just doing my job. I’m glad you’re safe. No need to repay me.”

The three of them say their goodbyes and Eric and Larissa gather their stuff. It doesn’t matter how nice this bay is, they’re not keen on continuing this beach day. They walk back to their AirBnb in silence.

“Are you okay?” Larissa asks, “You’re quiet. Are you still in shock?”

“The lifeguard is hot,” Eric blurts out. He puts his hand in front of his mouth and he stares at Larissa with wide eyes.

Larissa also looks a bit taken aback, but then she bursts into laughs.

The next day, Eric is back at the bay. He’s not here for a swim. He’s alone.

To his relief, Jack’s sitting on his lifeguard chair, watching over the swimming people.

“Excuse me,” Eric says to catch Jack’s attention.

Jack looks down and he smiles when he sees Eric. Eric knows he’s turning red.

“Hey Eric,” Jack says. Jack remembered his name. Then he teases: “Out for a swim?”

“I think I’ll hold off swimming for now,” Eric says.

“Well, if you decide to visit this bay again, know that I’ll look after you. Except for Tuesdays and Saturdays. Those are my days off.”

Maybe Eric’s reading too much into this, but is Jack telling him his schedule for a reason?

That’s not why Eric’s here.

He holds out his freshly baked pie.

“Here. I know you said I didn’t have to repay you, but...”

Jack climbs down from his chair.

“Thanks,” he says warmly, “It smells delicious.”

Then he looks around.

“My colleague is about to arrive. She takes over when I’m on break.” Jack holds up the pie. “Care to join me?”

Eric nods eagerly.

#zimbits #zimbits updates #omgcp #2022 #holy fuck I wrote #drabble

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gossip-girl-of-middleearth · 3 years

Text

Wrong End of the Ithilien Stick (Legolas x Reader)

Requested by: @elvish-sky

could i request a legolas x reader with angst- like she misheard something he said and they have a falling out- but with a happy ending?

A/N: Here you are!! Hope you enjoy :) bon appetit ☀️

They were hopeless – completely, and utterly hopeless. Most who wished to court did so at the first few stolen glances, but not Y/n and Legolas.

Apparently, a year’s worth of peril on the road did nothing to invoke revelations. The Fellowship journey may have introduced them to one another, but it did nothing to bring them together. No, that was entirely up to them – the worst two to be left in charge of their own romantic fates.

Although, that’s not to say they entirely went their separate ways in the aftermath. Y/n had stayed behind with Legolas, in Ithilien, where they sought to restore the trees.

The whole process was full of cleared throats, deep blushes and shy smiles. Gimli, on the occasions he would visit, rolled his eyes, and groaned aloud.

“Ye still on yer dove dancing, are ye?” he taunted one day.

However, all the pair could do, was look away from one another. Y/n simply felt herself too inferior to his royal status, as to make the first move. Legolas, on the other hand, felt himself too high maintenance to even begin asking her if she minded his princely upbringing.

It was a vicious cycle, but one the four Hobbits sought to destroy, following their next visit.

“So, we are all aware of our roles?” Frodo asked, as the four friends strolled across a wooden bridge, and into the Ithilien forest.

Frodo had enjoyed the distraction, and appreciated the time away from his cooped-up desk greatly. Any chance to rid himself of the journey’s memories, was a chance he’d take.

“Aye!” Pippin confirmed. “Merry and I are tackling Y/n, and you and Sam will handle Legolas.”

“By nightfall, those two will be married!” Merry agreed, nodding resolutely.

However, stifling the Hobbits’ laughter, Y/n and Legolas appeared from nowhere – greeting them by the creek’s bank.

“Who’s getting married by nightfall?” Y/n sweetly asked, squinting under the bright morning sun.

“I don’t mind a wedding,” Legolas added on, smiling down at Y/n. “If it’s someone we know, perhaps we ought to go. Could borrow some cake?”

“I don’t think they’ll be wanting it back, somehow,” Y/n laughed, sharing the Elf’s smile.

Watching as they grinned brightly, and laughed together, the four Hobbits nervously looked at one another.

Oh, how desperately they needed their plan to work. Y/n would shrivel from mortality, before they even had a chance to marry themselves!

“Alas, we’re being rude,” Y/n dismissed, immediately moving forwards to hug all her friends. “It’s been so long since our last visit to the Shire! We’ve missed you all so much!”

“Likewise,” Sam warmly replied, hugging her tight. “We quite enjoyed the trek on over here too.”

“Oh, really?” Y/n excitedly asked, pulling back. “Legolas and I have been working on the trail leading in all year! We finally managed to grow the petunias you sent over as well.”

“That’s wonderful news,” Frodo smiled, now walking in tow with the girl and Elf, as they led them away. “So…speaking of news, has anything as of late occurred in Ithilien? Any news of courtship, perhaps?”

“From whom?” Legolas tightly asked, not at all liking Frodo’s sly connotation.

“Oh, no one in particular,” he lied, sharing a smile with the other Hobbits.

“Of course…” Legolas dismissed, nonetheless answering, as he walked through the botanical gardens. “Well, not to our knowledge, no…oh, but a wonderful pair of deer mated recently! We are expecting fawns any season now.”

“So are we,” Merry grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Having heard, with his Elven hearing, what the Hobbit said, Legolas confusedly glanced over his shoulder. Nonetheless, he merely only creased his features, before stealing a glance at Y/n. He then looked back up front, as they pressed on walking.

“Well, there is much ground to cover,” Legolas changed the topic, glancing up at the glittering trees. “We ought to start here first, so that we can make it back in time to-“

“Actually, Legolas,” Frodo interjected, coming to a halt, and causing the others to do the same, “we were thinking, on the way over here, that we ought to maybe split the group in half, so that we might finish earlier this time?”

Blinking down at the Hobbit, Y/n and Legolas knitted their brows. They then unsteadily looked between one another, before Y/n herself piped up again.

“Uh, sure…we can do that,” she said. “Any reason why, though?”

“Well, we do want to see your restoration project, and permaculture,” Merry began answering, chewing on the end of his pipe, “but, we’d prefer to spend some time with just you two as well. You know, at dinner and such. Don’t forget, we need supper as well.”

Looking between one another once more, and silently communicating, the two taller friends discreetly shrugged.

“Very well,” Legolas sighed, returning his attention to the Hobbits. “Frodo and Sam, you two can come with me. Merry and Pippin, you join Y/n. Oh, and Merry? Discard the pipe – there’s no smoking in Ithilien.”

Upholding both palms in surrender, Merry tucked the pipe away. As he and Pippin began following after Y/n, they both shared a sneaky grin with Frodo and Sam. They each all resolutely nodded at one another, before turning around to face back up front.

“Oh! Oh! Look!” Y/n excitedly pointed out.

Looking upwards, both Merry and Pippin observed a courting pair of bluebirds. They flew around one another, and landed in a little brown nest, high up in a tree.

Grinning brightly, Y/n breathed in the soft spring air.

“Oh, don’t you just love this time of year?” she wistfully sighed. “The courting animals, the romantic lighting, the little boats on the lake-“

“THAT’S IT! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” Merry exclaimed. He clamped his ears tight, with both hands, and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Merry?” Y/n asked in concern, swiftly turning around to observe him. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? What’s WRONG?” Merry seethed, finally re-meeting her eyes. “YOU ARE, Y/N, THAT’S WHAT!”

“I beg your pardon?” Y/n bit back, looking him up and down with narrowed eyes. “What did I do?”

“It’s more like what you haven’t done,” Pippin elaborated, ever-so-casually. “Actually, both you and Legolas, to be perfectly candid.”

Feeling heat rise to her cheeks, Y/n stammered over her words.

“I-I don’t understand-“ she tried to say.

“Yes, you do,” Merry interjected, using a series of hand gestures to further his point. “You like him. He likes you. It’s been like this since Rivendell – BEFORE we all set out for Mordor, mind you! Somehow, destroying that little ring was easier than getting you two to admit your feelings!”

Y/n was at a loss for words. Had it all really been that obvious?

“Yes, it really has been that obvious,” Merry piped up again, apparently having read her mind.

Slumping her shoulders, Y/n ran a hand along her face, and complained.

“This is really humiliating…” she said. “Do you think Legolas knows too?”

“Y/n, not to alarm you, but I’m pretty sure all of Arda knows,” Pippin winced.

Finding a park bench, Y/n sat herself down in a flush, and groaned.

“Well, whatever am I to do?” she asked, as her two friends each took a seat beside her. “I ought to tell him, I know that much, but I just simply cannot muster the courage.”

“Y/n, I’ve seen you slowly decapitate an orc’s head with a picnic knife,” Merry deadpanned, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I think you can handle telling your one true love how you really feel.”

Rolling her eyes at his choice of cheesy words, Y/n soon reeled them into her lap, where she picked at her thumbnail.

“Aye, that is true, but…” she pressed on, “well, look at me, guys. I’m a commoner, and no amount of true love is going to change that. He’s a prince, at the end of the day…what would everyone think?”

“What does it matter what everyone thinks?” Pippin encouraged, holding her other shoulder. “We, the Fellowship survivors, know above all else just how short life is. You can’t spend it worrying about what others will make of your happiness.”

Seeing the cogs turn in her mind, Merry squeezed her shoulder harder, and urged her to look at him.

“You love him, Y/n…you can’t delay any longer,” he said.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Y/n creased her brows. It was true, she loved him, more than anything else. Why should she deny herself that, based purely on what others would think?

“You know something? You’re right!” she resolutely declared. She stood upwards quickly, and squared her shoulders. “I love him, and I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks of my status! I’m going to tell him – today!”

Whooping and hollering, Merry and Pippin also both jumped to their feet. They pushed her along, as she began jogging away, to where she knew Legolas would be.

“That’s the spirit, friend!” Pippin cheered. “Go and tell him! And please make the cake red velvet at the wedding!”

Waving over her shoulder with a grin, Y/n pushed her legs faster, as to find Legolas, and finally reveal her heart to him.

~ In the botanical greenhouse, Legolas, Sam and Frodo all stood around – inspecting the many different pot plants.

“And this one is a young fern,” Legolas explained, holding a tiny plant up high. “I grew it myself from a seedling. I’m hoping it’ll soon have sprouts of its own, and raise a family, and-“

“Oh my goodness…” Sam sighed, folding his arms, and shaking his head. “You really are hopeless, you know that, right?”

“Pardon?” Legolas confusedly asked, lifting his eyes from the fern. “My apologies…if you do not like ferns, I could show you the-“

“Legolas…I think you ought to sit down for a moment,” Frodo interjected, gesturing to a wooden chair in the middle of the greenhouse.

Furrowing his brows, Legolas warily glanced between the two Hobbits. They stood in front of the chair, and folded their arms – very serious, indeed.

Slowly, Legolas made his way on over towards the chair, and sat down.

Instantly, the two Hobbits closed the greenhouse curtains all around, save for one. The only window left open served one ray of sun, which purely basked Legolas, and Legolas only, as if he were under an interrogation spotlight.

Squinting his eyes, and craning his head to move out of the light, Legolas spoke.

“Is the chair really necessary-“ he tried to say.

“Right, let’s cut to the chase,” Sam interjected, standing in front of Legolas with Frodo. “Y/n. You like her. She likes you. Now, why haven’t you courted her, and made beautiful children yet?”

Staring wide-eyed for a moment, Legolas parted his lips. However, swift in his archer’s mind, he soon sighed. Next, slumping his shoulders, Legolas responded.

“I suppose I haven’t been as discreet in my fondness as previously thought…” he mused.

“Not in the slightest,” Sam and Frodo said at once.

Twitching his lips to one side, Frodo softly stared down at his friend, and pressed on.

“Legolas…why haven’t you told her of how you feel yet?” he asked.

Lifting his eyes, and wincing them, Legolas considered his thoughts. He knew how much Y/n enjoyed her freedom, and he knew how restricting a royal life could be. He loved Y/n enough to not impose such a confining lifestyle on her – that was why he held back.

Exhaling again, Legolas knew he could no longer hide his feelings from his friends, and responded.

At the same time, just outside of the greenhouse, Y/n ran up to the door. Stumped for a moment, as to why the curtains were all drawn back, she nonetheless moved closer. However, upon hearing muffled voices on the other side, speaking of her in particular, she halted, and listened in.

“Are you jesting, Frodo? She’s a commoner,” Legolas said in frustration, shocking the girl outside. “Y/n and formalities simply do not mix. How could anyone ever love someone so different from themselves? Nay…I wouldn’t brew that situation.”

Having stumbled backwards in hurt, Y/n felt tears prick at her eyes. She raised both hands, and held them over her chest.

Before she could freely cry, she turned on her heel, and ran away. However, as she did so, she failed to hear the end of Legolas’ sentence, which defined the entire context.

“That’s why I can’t marry Y/n…she deserves better than what I could give her,” he said. “I wouldn’t wish for someone so free to be tied down to someone like me...I’m far too different from her.”

“Does Y/n not also get a say in the matter?” Frodo sincerely asked, studying his friend apologetically. “Y/n loves you, Legolas…you ought to at least give your courtship a chance, regardless of formalities.”

“Aye, Frodo is right,” Sam added on, nodding at his raven-haired friend. “You ought to at least speak to her. It can’t hurt…well, it can, but you’ll never know until you try.”

Sucking on his lower lip, Legolas knitted his brows. He considered his friends’ words, and mulled them over. It was true, he loved Y/n, and he was almost certain she him. Perhaps Frodo and Sam were right – simply talking couldn’t do much harm, could it?

Nodding his head, Legolas met the Hobbits’ eyes again.

“Aye,” he agreed at last. “You’re right, I ought to at least ask her!”

Swiftly standing, Legolas moved out from the chair, and headed towards the greenhouse door.

“We’re proud of you!” Sam cheered, giving a mighty few claps of his hands.

“Good luck,” Frodo smiled, nodding at his friend.

Nodding back once, Legolas beamed bright, and headed outside.

Having run away far enough, Y/n now trekked angrily through the forest. Her jaw was set, and her eyes burning. How could he be so nice to her face, only to say such horrible things behind her back? She cared not, for she would maintain the entire other side of Ithilien, from now on.

She, a commoner, would not dare stay with someone who cares so little for her. However, she soon heard a bright voice calling from behind. Turning around, she spotted Legolas swiftly jogging towards her.

“Y/n!” he called, wearing an excited smile.

The moment he jogged up to her, Y/n grew cold in her stance. She revered him with distrust, and anger.

This did not go unnoticed by Legolas, whose features dropped, and his mind wiped. He now sought to ensure she herself was okay.

“Are you alright?” he sincerely asked, brimming with concern.

Laughable, Y/n thought. How dare he pretend to care – right to her face as well!

“Never been better,” Y/n seethed, turning on her heel.

Stammering over his words for a minute, Legolas shook the odd mood in the air away. He followed after her, and shyly spoke – though, his words were hasty.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” he began. However, Y/n wanted none of it.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, your highness!” Y/n snapped, turning around once more, and angrily pointing at him. “I heard enough earlier.”

“You heard what I said?” Legolas repeated in horror, suddenly feeling his palms grow clammy – for more than one reason.

“Every last word,” Y/n replied, glaring across at the Elf.

Shocked by her attitude, Legolas was simply at a loss. He shook his head at the ground in confusion, and spoke.

“I-I thought you would have understood?” he said, lifting his puzzled eyes once more.

“Oh, I understand!” Y/n sarcastically started, rolling her eyes. “Just like you said yourself; how could anyone love someone so different?”

Truly hurt by her words, Legolas parted his lips. His eyes brimmed in anguish, as all his hopes were suddenly stomped on, and buried beneath the dirt.

“But…I thought that wouldn’t matter to you?” he said in a small voice.

“Yeah, well…I guess you thought wrong,” Y/n replied, scrunching her nose in disdain.

Turning on her heels, Y/n stalked away. Where she was heading? She didn’t know – all she knew, is that she could find some better and more loyal company, with just herself.

Left alone, Legolas stood in silence. What had just happened? She truly did not wish to court him, purely because of his royal status? Very well, then – he could do just as fine by himself.

Matching her anger, Legolas too stalked away, but in the opposite direction.

Sat down in the grass, and enjoying a picnic by the lake, Frodo and Sam basked in each other’s company. Merry and Pippin were off who knows where, and doing God knows what. However, all tranquillity soon came to an end, the moment a furious Y/n stomped past.

Staring between one another, and blinking in confusion, the two Hobbits quickly dropped their sandwiches. They rose swiftly, and chased after her.

“Hey! Hey, Y/n!” Frodo called, jogging to meet with her. “Have you found Legolas yet? There’s something you need to know. We spoke earlier, and-“

“Yes, I know you all talked earlier,” Y/n snapped, now recalling exactly whom Legolas spoke with before. She halted, and glared down at the two friends. “You’re all very good comrades, aren’t you? Well, if you are all such good brothers in arms, how about you go find him instead, and leave me alone?”

Noticing that she made a move to stalk away again, along the edge of the glistening lake, both Frodo and Sam confusedly looked between one another once more.

“I beg your pardon, Y/n,” Sam tentatively spoke up, watching her leave, “but I think you may have the wrong end of the stick here?”

“Oh, no, I think I have the exact right idea,” Y/n seethed, rolling her eyes. “I hope you all had a lovely time, speaking about me behind my back – and just a commoner? Really? We can’t all be from Bag End, Frodo.”

Confused, but only for a moment, the context suddenly clicked in Frodo’s mind. Racing forwards, he held Y/n’s hand, and kept her in place.

“Wait! You DEFINITELY have the wrong idea!” he exclaimed. “I know what you’re angry about, but you have to listen! He wasn’t talking about you in that regard – he was referencing his distress over taking you from your farming life, and placing you in royal formalities!”

“What are you talking about-“ Y/n had gone to say, with a yank of her hand out of his. However, Frodo’s words quickly met her mind, and ceased her tongue.

Oh.

Well, now that made more sense.

Feeling a wave of shame wash over her, Y/n bared her teeth in cringe, and winced her features.

“Oh my…” was all she could say.

A little further off, but still heading towards the lake, and Legolas could be found in the same situation – however, only a few steps behind.

“You all come into our home, and plant ideas in our heads,” Legolas seethed, striding away from Merry and Pippin, “only to leave poisonous weeds instead! I don’t know what you’ve all done behind the scenes, but you’ve certainly made nothing better since your arrival!”

“Please, Legolas! Just tell us what happened!” Merry begged, struggling to keep up.

“Well, that’s just the thing, isn’t it? I don’t know!” Legolas exclaimed, rolling his eyes. “One minute, the last time I was with Y/n, mind you, and we were happy! But the second I see her again, after she spent her morning with you two, and she turns like the tide on a wintery day!”

“That just doesn’t make any sense…” Pippin whispered, creasing his brows. “When she left us, she was on her way to tell you all about how much she wished to court you, and-“

Halting in his tracks, Legolas paused. Snapping his head over his shoulder, the Elf questioned the Hobbit, who quickly clamped his mouth shut.

“What?” he pressed. “What do you mean she was coming to tell me of courting?”

Looking between one another, Merry and Pippin sheepishly bared their teeth. Figuring the cat was already out of the bag, Merry turned back first, and revealed their agenda.

“Well, we somewhat…nudged…Y/n, to tell you of her love for you,” he said. “Last time we saw her, like I said, she went to find you in the greenhouse.”

Knitting his brows, and mulling the new bouts of information over, Legolas responded through a confused shake of his head.

“But that just doesn’t make any sense,” Legolas continued. “What could have soured her perception, from her journey between you, and the greenhouse-“

The greenhouse.

Oh.

Having caught his own words, Legolas immediately knew what went wrong. She had thought him to be insulting her status, and he thought her to be rejecting his.

Running a hand over his face, Legolas growled in frustration. Why must love be so hard? Surely, beyond courting, marriage and children, things would be easier, would they not? Well, Legolas wasn’t so certain he’d find out now – not unless he tracked down Y/n in time, before their rift planted roots too deep.

“I need to find her,” Legolas frantically began, looking all around himself. “I have no idea where she’d be – she could be on the other side of the forest, for all I know!”

“Uh, I don’t think so,” Merry interjected, staring behind Legolas with Pippin.

“How would you know?” Legolas confusedly asked, though, his frustration edged his tone.

“Just a hunch,” Merry said again, pointing behind the prince.

Looking over his shoulder, Legolas’ formerly hardened features softened. Y/n stood in the near distance behind him, and anxiously stared in his direction – like a deer caught in the headlights. She chewed on her lower lip nervously, and waited by the lapping water’s edge.

Catching both Frodo and Sam’s eye, Merry and Pippin each awkwardly began stepping away, as did the other two Hobbits.

“Okay, we’re just, uh…gonna go now, yeah…good luck,” Merry said, dragging his younger cousin away.

Swallowing his nerves, Legolas suddenly felt his knees buckle, and his palms grow clammy. Nonetheless, if he was old enough to court, then he was old enough to resolve relationship issues.

Breathing in a shaky breath, and releasing it through pursed lips, Legolas forced his feet across the grass, to where Y/n stood.

Feeling her own heart hammer, and sweat cling to her temples, Y/n shifted on her feet. She frequently looked between an approaching Legolas, and the lake beside her. Was love meant to be this scary? Would it always be like this? Or was this the end?

She figured she would soon find out, for the prince now stood before her.

Both said nothing. Instead, they merely stole glances, like so many times before, and looked at the rippling lake.

The sun basked them in a warm glow, and the wind blowing through the leaves nearby met their ears. Soon, however, a chilly afternoon breeze rolled through, and darkened the sky overhead.

With a shiver, Y/n wrapped her arms around her form. She rubbed up and down, as to bring the warmth back. She hadn’t been wearing a cloak that day, for she figured she needed none. This was, of course, against Legolas’ advisement earlier that morning.

Sensing her cold, Legolas finally studied her again. With a sigh past his nose, he shed his own cloak. Next, stepping forwards, and accelerating both her heartrate and his, he wrapped the green material around her shoulders.

Immediately, the cold of the world was blocked out. It even appeared as though the sun above had made a comeback – breaking through the otherwise grey clouds.

He held her shoulders, as he adjusted the cloak, and secured it over her form. Y/n watched his features, as they creased in both concentration, and consideration.

“Why would you do that?” Y/n asked, after a moment of quiet study – breaking the silence finally. “Won’t you now be cold?”

Although he did not feel the cold the same way she did, Legolas used the moment as an advantage – a hoist to deliver his most inner thoughts, in a way.

“Perhaps, but…I’d prefer you to be warm,” he said, having initially jolted at her sudden words.

“Why?” Y/n tightly asked. She knew why, but she wanted to hear him say it.

Swallowing down his nerves, Legolas slowly met her eyes. They brimmed with nerves, but also adoration – a combination of which Y/n shared. However, hers also bore eagerness, and anticipation.

“Because…” he began in a small voice, swallowing once more. “I…I, uh-“

“Yes?” Y/n whispered, leaning in closer.

Sighing, Legolas buried his nerves away, and did the most un-Elven thing possible. He swept Y/n into a tight embrace, and hugged her warmly.

Shocked for a minute, Y/n widened her eyes. However, she soon melted into his touch, and hugged him back.

“Because, I believe a partner should ensure theirs is okay,” Legolas finally revealed.

“Partner?” Y/n repeated, in a very small voice. “And by partner…you mean?”

“Someone I love dearly, and care about most ardently,” he softly replied, kissing the top of her head.

Stunned by his small gesture for a moment, butterflies fluttered in Y/n’s stomach. She then hid said nerves with humour.

“Well…that is definitely hard to misinterpret,” Y/n attempted to joke. However, her joy overwhelmed her, and she squeezed the prince harder. “If it’s any consolation, I love you too…and I’m sorry for my brash behaviour earlier.”

“Aye, I am as well,” Legolas grinned, swaying her in the sun. “So…this may perhaps be an ambitious request, but…will you court me? Royal status and all?”

“Of course,” Y/n grinned back. “But, will you court me, commoner status and all?”

Smiling brighter, and closing his eyes contently, Legolas continued on hugging the girl by the shore. He then softly answered, whilst the sun basked them both in a placid glow – perhaps a tell-tale of the many good days to come.

“Without question,” he said at last.

#lotr #lord of the rings #Legolas #Legolas x reader #x reader #lotr x reader #lord of the rings x reader #lotr imagine #lotr fanfic #fanfic #angst

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sonderwalker · 3 years

Note

Could I ask for Mare Frigoris for Anakin? Thank you!! Congrats on 1K followers!

Hi anon! thank you so much for the ask! (✿◡‿◡) from these prompts!

here's your space fun fact: Mare Frigoris is Latin for Sea of Cold, and is a lunar sea in the northern hemisphere of the moon.

click here to read this prompt fill with Anakin and Obi-Wan

Mare Frigoris- [Anakin] gets hypothermia

The mission had gone in the the worst direction imaginable. First, Obi-Wan and Anakin quickly found themselves outnumbered against the hoard of bounty hunters that surrounded them, and the last thing he remembered doing was telling Anakin to get down, before there was the familiar sensation of being stunned and then nothing at all.

The first thing that Obi-Wan realized when he woke up was that his head hurt. Well, everything hurt, but there was a special kind of headache that came with being stunned that Obi-Wan didn't particularly care for.

The second thing he noticed was that his hands and feet were not bound, but he was trapped in some kind of cell. It was dark, cold, damp and the air smelled like salt. The cell he was in had a steady rocking motion, up and down, that only seemed to exasperate his headache.

If he had to guess, he would have assumed that they were on some kind of ship. But not a space ship, a sea bearing ship, and by the looks of it, they had been placed in the brig.

Obi-Wan bit his lip as he looked down at Anakin, hoping that he had finally grown out of being seasick. There was no way they were going to be able to get out of this situation with Anakin needing to turn around and throw up every few minutes.

A weak groan startled him out of his thoughts, and Obi-Wan looked over to his side to watch as Anakin slowly pushed himself up off of the clammy ground, looking at his surroundings with eyes that were almost closed, but widened when he looked at Obi-Wan.

"Where are we?" Anakin asked as his voice cracked and he sat up, crossing his legs and leaning forward, placing his elbows on his thighs as he looked at Obi-Wan.

"In the brig of a ship, it seems," Obi-Wan replied, the sarcasm falling flat as he looked around at their surroundings. Above him was a window, carved out of the metal that the brig was made out of where light was streaming in.

But it was far to high for either of them to reach. And too small for either of them to crawl out of.

"What's our plan?" Anakin asked as he looked up at the window as well, before looking back down at Obi-Wan with a frown.

"We wait." Obi-Wan replied simply and Anakin groaned.

But soon enough, although neither of them were sure how much time had passed, they heard footsteps coming closer. Obi-Wan looked at Anakin, nodding his head and placing a finger over his lips before they stood on either side of the door, waiting to ambush the person who was coming.

They made quick work of it, and before the bounty hunter who came to check on them- a young chiss girl- could say anything, she was unconscious on the floor, her blaster in Anakin's right hand as he picked it up from the floor.

The boat rocked with a particularity hard motion, and the two of them stumbled, leaning against the wall for support.

"Please tell me you've grown out of being seasick," Obi-Wan said desperately as he looked at Anakin.

"We're gonna find out soon enough," Anakin replied with a shrug.

They quickly made their way through the lower levels of the ship, towards the deck and were soon met with an onslaught of blaster fire. Diving in opposite directions, Obi-Wan and Anakin each dove behind a set of crates for cover, wincing as several shots were too close for comfort.

"What's the plan?" Obi-Wan shouted over the blaster fire and Anakin looked back at him, eyes wild, the wind from the sea tossing his curls all around his head.

"We get out lightsabers and get out of here!" He shouted back.

Fortunately, Obi-Wan could see where their sabers were. Clipped onto the belt of the bounty hunter who stood at the center of the group that was shooting at them. His face was masked, but he wore what appeared to be a slimmed down version of Mandalorian armor.

That didn't comfort Obi-Wan in the slightest.

Using the Force, he reached out, despite the blaster fire, and summoned both his blade and Anakin's, tossing Anakin's blade to him once it reached his other hand.

Anakin caught it with a smirk and ignited it, then the two of them rushed forward, disarming as many of the bounty members as they could.

"Abandon ship!" One of them shouted over the commotion.

"The Republic is sending reinforcements!"

Anakin and Obi-Wan looked up in unison, sharing a smile that was short lived.

Explosions rocked the ship as the crewmates rushed to destroy any other evidence that they had- and there was several. Obi-Wan had seen several spice crates in the lower decks, and it seemed as though the bounty hunters of this ship were intent on not being caught red handed.

Which meant that they were going down with the ship as well.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouted, but there was another explosion that blew him back, and almost into the water, separating him from Anakin.

Now, the deck was on fire, and Obi-Wan knew that despite the frigid temperatures of the water, he would have a better chance of survival if he dove down and swam towards the shore. He looked around one last time, through the smoke and the haze, but didn't see Anakin at all.

And then he jumped into the water, the shock from the cold making him gasp in shock. He relied on years of training to force his body to keep moving.

He needed to find Anakin.

Obi-Wan swam around, shouting for Anakin until his voice was hoarse and his body was tired. But he kept looking, looking and searching until he saw what appeared to be Anakin's arm, snagged onto a piece of scrap metal that was slowly sinking.

He swore and rushed forward, yanking Anakin's arm free and pulling him up from under the waves.

"No, no, no, no," Obi-Wan muttered as he shook Anakin's shoulders, treading water with his legs. Anakin's body was cold, his lips blue, and he wasn't moving.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan yelled in desperation, tilting his head and Anakin's eyes fluttered open with a gasp as he moved around to cough up the sea water that he had inhaled.

Obi-Wan winced as he heard Anakin cough and gag, looking out for something in the distance that he could use to support both of them, since he couldn't keep treading water like this for much longer.

He looked back at Anakin, who was now turned away from him, throwing up whatever else was left in his stomach.

"Finished?" Obi-Wan asked softly and Anakin nodded before turning around to look at Obi-Wan. Through the layers that Anakin wore, he could feel that he was trembling harshly. Obi-Wan could hear his teeth chattering and frowned.

For those moments where he had been swimming around, Anakin had been trapped, still, and under the water. Which meant that his body temperature had probably dropped, and there was probably still water in his lungs.

Obi-Wan looked around again. The shore was far- but not too far, and he could hear the roar of the gunships in the distance. The republic was looking for them, that was for sure. He looked back at Anakin, who was still pale and still shaking.

"Do you think you can swim?" Obi-Wan asked, knowing that they didn't have much of a choice. Anakin nodded anyway, and pulled himself away from Obi-Wan.

The two of them began to swim, the waves and the wind hitting their faces, making them numb. Obi-Wan tried to keep up a conversation with Anakin, to keep him distracted, to keep him talking, but his responses became smaller and smaller, until they were just small noises of agreement.

They had been moving slower and slower too, and Obi-Wan would turn around to see that Anakin seemed to look worse and worse with each passing moment, and the shore didn't seem to be getting any closer.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin groaned, and Obi-Wan turned around to hear more harsh coughing and then retching coming from Anakin.

He bit his lip. He thought that Anakin would have gotten rid of all of the salt water that he had swallowed at this point, but he seemed to be wrong. And Anakin seemed to be needing to stop more frequently.

"Here," Obi-Wan said as he grabbed Anakin's arm and pulled him forward, helping him swim.

But by the time the water was shallow enough for them to walk in, Obi-Wan was practically dragging Anakin towards the shore. Anakin wasn't shivering anymore, but his breathing was ragged, and his coughing was so harsh that each fit made Obi-Wan wince. When they collapsed on the beach, Obi-Wan relished in how the warm sun hit his skin, but the peaceful moment was interrupted by Anakin dry heaving again.

"You don't have anything left," Obi-Wan muttered softly as he rubbed soothing circles on Anakin's back.

He looked up again, and saw the gunships in the distance. They were getting closer, but Anakin was getting worse. He had collapsed into the sand, his eyes closed and his body trembling. His teeth chattered viciously, and Obi-Wan watched as Anakin curled up as tightly as he could, his hair sticking to his face.

"Help will be coming soon," Obi-Wan whispered soothingly as a shiver went down his spine as well.

Anakin coughed harshly in response.

#i've literally wanted to write something like this ever since that one episode of the mandalorian #where theyre on a boat #i was like #o boat #but with anakin and obi wan #and this is the result of that #my writing #prompt #drabble #ficlet #whump #asks #answered #also idk if i should come back to this or not #pls let me know if you want to see a resolution!

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not-all-dead · 3 years

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angstpril day twenty-four: goodbyes

CW: depression, drug abuse/overdose, su*cide

fic under the cut

April 24th, 152

Su,

I know I haven’t written back to you in years. Coming up on ten if I’m remembering right. I want you to know how sorry I am for all that time lost. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I’m sorry for ignoring you, I’m sorry for it all. Maybe… maybe soon I could come and visit.

Republic City’s been doing alright, though the triads are still a pain in the ass. Mom would’ve been able to handle them. She always could.

How are things in Zaofu? Your kids, and your husband, and you. And mom, how is mom. I should come and see her too. I hope you’re all well.

I’ll write again soon, I promise.

I love you.

Lin

April 24th, 152

Mom,

Don’t tell whoever’s reading this to shut up just yet. Please.

I haven’t written since you left, yes, but it’s better late than never, right?

Being Chief is harder than I’d expected. I’ve gotten better, but I feel like less than half the Chief you were. The triads are still assholes though crime rates have been going down slightly recently. It’s still a lot.

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough. I know I’ll never be enough. And I’m sorry for how I’ve acted over the past ten years. I should’ve at least tried, but I didn’t. I would like to try now, if you’d let me, though.

I miss you, mom. Republic City is lonely without you, especially now that I go to see Tenzin and Katara and Aang on the island less with all my work. I know it’s stupid to be saying this after living alone for a decade, but it’s still true. I really do miss you.

I love you.

Lin

April 24th, 152

Izumi,

How’s the never ending Firelord training? Your dad still hanging on to the throne? You’ll get up there someday, don’t worry. Might be a while from now, though.

Is your government as annoying as mine is? I swear, Tenzin rounded up a bunch of the biggest, richest idiots in the city for his council, I miss Aang’s old council. They actually did their jobs, or at least tried to. From what I can tell your father seems to have… a hint of competence within his government officials. I can’t imagine what the people you’re stuck training with are like, though.

I know this is out of the blue, but I just wanted to write. I’ve missed you, Izumi, you should visit soon.

I love you.

Lin

April 24th, 152

Kya,

I wonder where you are right now. I wonder what beautiful part of the world you’re visiting, who you get to meet next. Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like if I’d come with you. Sometimes I wish I had.

But it’s too late for that now. I hope you’re doing alright, that you’re not too lonely travelling on your own. I hope you’ve made friends along the way. I hope you write to me again soon. Maybe you’d like to come to Republic City for a while, to drop in on your old friend. Probably not.

Anyway, I just wanted to write to say that I miss you, Kya, and that I hope you’re happy, at least sometimes.

I love you.

Lin

Lin dragged herself out of bed on the twenty fifth. She’d taken the week off, using a few of her vacation days saved up from years of constant working. It was only Tuesday and she was already missing the distraction of work, but she knew she’d be distracted again soon enough.

She walked into her bathroom, going through the motions of getting ready for the day. She put on her only casual outfit that wasn’t basically underclothes, shoving the letters in her pocket. There was nothing else she needed from her apartment, so she headed down the hall and only paused for a second to look in the mirror. She couldn’t help but notice how tired she looked.

She sighed and looked away, slipping a pair of flats on before opening the door. She walked down to the front desk, handing the woman there the four letters, and went back to the stairwell. She stared blankly at the ground as she made her way down to the parking lot, only glancing up to locate her satomobile.

The drive to the dock went surprisingly quickly. She parked her sato and found a bench by the pier to sit on while she waited from the ferry to arrive. she felt her eyes glaze over as she watched the water, her mind staying oddly silent for once. She was shocked back into awareness when the ferry blew it’s horn, announcing its arrival at the mainland.

“Finally,” Lin muttered, standing and making her way towards the wooden dock.

She and a number of others waited for the ship to unload before walking up the ramp themselves. Lin walked up to the top deck, finding a place near the front to lean against the railing. When the boat started to move, wind whipped in her face and made her eyes water, but she didn’t move. She didn’t move until they’d made it all the way across to Air Temple Island.

She was the first one off of the boat when they got there, quickly starting on her way up the long patch to the temple. She kept up her brisk pace until the crested the final hill, coming to a complete stop just a hundred or so feet from the temple. She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh before continuing. This was the least she could do for them right now.

“Lin?” Tenzin’s voice came from the hall just as she stepped in.

“Tenzin,” she said, forcing a small smile onto her face.

“Are- are you alright?” he asked as she got closer, pulling him into a tight hug as soon as she could.

“I’m okay,” she mumbled into his chest, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent.

Tenzin wrapped his arms around Lin, unable to keep the worry from his mind. It was so unlike her to show up unannounced on a weekday, during work hours at that, and immediately be so… soft.

“Lin,” he said again, pulling back to look at her.

She met his eyes, this time not caring enough to put on a fake smile. He lifted his hand to cup her unscarred cheek, his eyebrows knitting together. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Hey,” he said quietly, stroking his thumb across her cheekbone.

“Talk to me,” he watched her intently as she opened her eyes again, reaching up and taking his hand from her cheek.

She shook her head and gave him a weak smile again, bringing her tired eyes to his.

“I’m alright, I promise,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Tenzin opened his mouth to protest when a voice behind him spoke.

“Lin?” Aang asked, emerging from an adjacent hallway.

“We weren’t expecting to see you this morning,” he said, a hint of concern in his voice.

Lin took a step back from Tenzin and looked at Aang, her smile drooping slightly. She sighed again and looked back at Tenzin before saying anything.

“I just wanted to see you all, it’s been so busy with work and all…” she trailed off, looking at the ground and then at Aang again.

“Actually, I should be getting back to work soon anyway. I asked for the morning off, but I don’t want to fall too far behind…” she fell silent again, ignoring the look that Aang and Tenzin gave each other.

“It was good to see you both,” she muttered, spinning on her heel.

“Lin, wait,” Aang called walking past Tenzin and putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Why don’t you stay here for a day, you deserve the time off,” he gently turned her back to them, squeezing her shoulder lightly.

She looked up at him, her breath catching at the warmth of his smile, but shook her head again.

“Thank you, but I need to get back,” she said, hesitating for a second when she went to turn around.

She looked at Tenzin from where she stood before suddenly rushing towards him, wrapping him in a tight hug. She hid her face in his chest for a long moment before pulling back and tracing a hand down his cheek.

“I love you,” she said, leaning up to kiss him with a softness that seemed almost desperate.

She pulled back all too soon and their eyes met, Lin’s empty aside from a painful guilt. She opened her mouth to say something and looked away, before shaking her head one last time and running down the path.

She ran until she was almost to the dock, her lungs just starting to ache with the effort. She stopped at the start of the dock, taking a few seconds to look up at the temple before going to the ferry that had just pulled up. She waited quietly as a slew of people got off the boat, keeping her head down as she got on alongside a few others.

She found a seat along the cold metal wall and took it, keeping her eyes on the floor the entirety of the ride. She didn’t realize how out of it she’d been until a new group of people were boarding the ferry, an elderly man asking for her seat. She got up and rushed out onto the dock before the ferry could take her back to the island, taking a moment to calm herself before walking up to where her satomobile was still parked.

She opened the door and sat heavily in the driver’s seat, taking in a deep breath and rubbing her hands over her face. She huffed and looked out at the harbour, turning the key in the ignition.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to no one in particular before pulling out of the lot.

She drove back to her apartment in a daze, barely noticing her own movements as she waited at red lights and stopped for pedestrians. She felt out of her own body as she parked the sato, making her way up to the main floor of the apartment complex and then up to her own floor.

She opened the door and stepped in, realizing she’d forgotten to lock it on her way out, but not having the energy to care. She let it swing shut behind her and walked into her bedroom, grabbing her pen and the last piece of letter paper she’d left out the night before. She sat in the hard wooden chair and took a deep breath, thinking for a moment before beginning to write.

To anyone reading this;

I’m sorry you had to see me like this. I’m sorry you have to read this and I’m sorry you have to deal with whatever may come of my actions. But I’m not sorry for doing it.

Please don’t blame yourselves. Any of you. This is entirely my doing, and mine alone. You might think you could’ve done something to stop this from happening, but I promise you, it was inevitable.

I have one last request. Please, please don’t make this a big deal. I don’t want my face across the newspapers, I don’t want them to talk about me on the radio. I’d be happiest, and I know to you all it won’t be as easy, if it were as if I’d never existed.

I love you all so much. So, so much.

Lin

She stared at the words, willing herself to cry with no luck. After a long time sitting there, staring at nothing with completely dry eyes, she let out a heavy breath.

She pushed her chair back and folded the paper in half, leaving it on the desk. She then made her way to the bathroom, reaching up to open her medicine cabinet. Her eyes wandered over the various off the shelf and prescription medications from over the years, eventually landing on a vial of liquid morphine her doctor had given her a few weeks earlier for her bad hip. She still had yet to open it, convincing herself in her stubbornness that she didn’t really need it.

That’ll do the trick, she thought to herself, pulling it from its place on the shelf.

She screwed the cap off of the small bottle, swirling it around slightly and turning herself around. As soon as she caught sight of herself in the mirror, she lifted the bottle to her lips, downing the entire thing.

The taste was bitter in her mouth and she frowned at the sensation. She set the bottle down and gripped the edge of the sink, her body becoming heavy and tired. She blinked a few times in an attempt to clear her swimming vision, looking at herself in the mirror again.

Her pupils were smaller than she’d ever seen them, and she looked exhausted. She blinked again and pushed away from the sink, grabbing the wall against her dizziness as she moved towards the bathroom door.

Just… a little nap, she thought, squinting into her room from where she stood, practically all her weight resting on the doorframe.

She could feel her breath slowing as she pushed away from the wall, stumbling towards her bed. She barely made it, grabbing the footboard for support when she nearly fell. She used the support to lower herself to the floor, too tired to bother getting on the bed itself.

Her stomach began to ache and she hugged herself weakly, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the footboard. She let herself relax there, the strength slipping from her arms and legs. The pain in her stomach was dull enough that she could ignore it, and she managed to drift into what was almost sleep. Her breathing was even but far too slow, and after not too long, it stopped altogether.

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k-s-morgan · 4 years

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Will’s vs. Hannibal’s Ways of Expressing Love

The fact that Hannibal loves Will and is in love with him is openly stated in the show several times. Will’s feelings, on the other hand, are more ambiguous, which is why some viewers often doubt whether Hannibal’s love is reciprocated. I think that exploring the ways these two men experience and react to love can explain the varying degrees of their openness about it.

I’ll put TLDR right here: Hannibal is more open about himself and his feelings, including love, hence he doesn’t have many challenges with admitting it. Will is closed off, stiff, and emotionally repressed, so he expresses his feelings in a much more subtle way.

Let’s start with Hannibal. Details about his past are scarce, but we know that he admits to loving two people throughout his life, his sister and Will.

E3 of S3.

*Bedelia: What your sister made you feel was beyond your conscious ability to control or predict … I would suggest what Will Graham makes you feel is not dissimilar. A force of mind and circumstance.*

*Hannibal: Love.*

Undoubtedly, Hannibal’s love for Mischa was traumatic and unhealthy. He loved her so much that he ate a part of her body after she was killed, devastated by this loss. But it was still love that made him feel all the related emotions, so Hannibal has some experience with it. From what we know of him, he has a very broad mind. He despises limitations and overcomes them, and he is not ashamed of who he is. He isn’t embarrassed to cry in the opera or to be the first to stand up and applaud; he delights in stereotypically ‘feminine’ hobbies like cooking and clothes selection; he draws fan-art and openly expresses his admiration when it’s due. For this reason, Hannibal doesn’t have many problems with expressing love either.

Upon meeting Will, he is immediately drawn to him. He sees him as his potential partner and decides he wants to try and build a family with him as early as E2 of S1. That’s when he starts planting the idea of Abigail being their shared daughter in Will’s mind. He does the same to Abigail, urging her to see him and Will as her parents, even giving her shrooms to evoke the desired associations (unsuccessfully since Will doesn’t come to dinner). So, Hannibal acknowledged his pull/infatuation with Will from the very start, and he acted on it right away.

It’s not 100% love at this point, but Hannibal still easily follows his emotions. He doesn’t stop to consider how strange it is to want a family with a man he just met; he doesn’t agonize over the idea of how his life has more risks now that he allows another human being to know him. When these feelings progress at the end of S1/start of S2, Hannibal is finally taken aback. While he never planned to leave Will in prison and it was a part of his plan, he still didn’t expect to miss him so much — he admits it to Bedelia, looking forlorn, in E1 of S2. He repeatedly pines for Will by sitting in front of his chair at the time of his supposed appointment, glancing at the clock despite knowing Will is not going to come. This is a shift to an actual love, but Hannibal still doesn’t fight it. On the contrary, he embraces it, and he spends the entire S2 doing repeatedly romantic gestures for Will. Namely:

1) Protects Abigail to reunite Will with her later.

2) Shares a part of himself he doesn’t seem to have ever shared with anyone else. He talks to Will about Mischa, reveals his views on murder and God, acknowledges he cared about Abigail, and shows vulnerability. He shares his teacup ritual with him, which is something precious and deeply personal.

3) He digs up fake Freddie’s corpse and decorates it as a way of courting Will (as directly said by Alana).

4) He draws a fan-art of himself and Will as Achilles and Patroclus.

5) He is ready to abandon his well-established life in Baltimore and reputation to run away with Will. In Hannibal’s view, no one truly suspects him and there is no evidence against him, but Will is in danger. So he’s willing to discard everything he’s been building for 20 years for him.

Finally, he calls Will a loved one more or less directly in E13 of S2 (in fact, he implies that they both love each other).

*Hannibal: Do you know what an imago is, Will? … An imago is an image of a loved one buried in the unconscious, carried with us all our lives.*

*Will: An ideal.*

*Hannibal: The concept of an ideal... I have a concept of you, just as you have a concept of me.*

Will hurts him with his betrayal, and Hannibal still finds himself unable to kill him. He is openly crying in the finale, admitting how Will hurt him, breaks his (and his own) heart by killing Abigail, and flees to Europe to start a new life. But things don’t go as he hoped they would. Bedelia is not a worthy substitute, and Hannibal is increasingly slipping into a self-destructive state because of his love for Will. He kills Anthony, who was an improved copy of Will, and turns him into a Valentine heart for him. Again, this is a very explicit and open emotional action. Hannibal doesn’t hide his feelings. He’s an emotional wreck with Bedelia in E3, and as they are talking about Will, he admits he’s in love with him.

*Hannibal: You cannot control with respect to whom you fall in love.*

Bedelia points out his self-destructiveness.

*Bedelia: You're going to get caught. It's already been set into motion … I know exactly how I will be navigating my way out of whatever it is I’ve gotten myself into. Do you?*

After Hannibal keeps spiraling and kills Sogliato, she adds: *You're drawing them to you, aren't you? All of them.*

Hannibal gets so self-destructive over Will that he lets Jack beat himself almost to death, not even attempting to fight him. The first words he says to Will after they reunite in E6 are:

*Hannibal: If I saw you every day forever, Will, I would remember this time.*

He’s a romantic. The courtship, the Valentine heart, the romance — Hannibal did have some struggles, but overall, he accepts these feelings and isn’t afraid to act on them.

When Will pulls a knife in E6, Hannibal classifies it as another betrayal. This is where he decides to kill and eat him in the hope to put an end to this misery (which is what he and Bedelia discussed back in E3). However, even blinded by another heartbreak, Hannibal tries to save Will at the same time. He knows the police are coming and he puts off the moment of sawing for as long as he can, first fussing over Will and his wound, then waiting for Jack, then doing everything slowly as hell.

Everything changes in E7, when Hannibal faces the real risk of losing Will and comes to terms with the fact that a hope of life with him is better than life without him. So Hannibal carries Will home bridal-style, takes care of him, waits for him to wake up and writes formulas to reverse time. He directly tells Will that Will won, and that he, Hannibal, is at Will’s mercy.

*Hannibal: Your memory palace is building. It's full of new things. It shares some rooms with my own. I've discovered you there. Victorious.*

He gives himself up, sacrificing the freedom he’s been fighting for back in E2 finale, in the hope that one day, Will is going to come back to him. After this, Hannibal is all about Will, with all his heart. Throughout the second half of S3, he says things like, *“I gave you a child. You are family, Will. Was it good to see me?”*, etc. He agrees to risk his life by agreeing to Will’s plan, knowing he’s planning something but not knowing what and if he’d die in the process. In E13, Hannibal says:

*Hannibal: "No greater love hath man than to lay down his life for a friend"* and shields Will from the bullet. Later, he allows Will to push them both down, and he stays with him afterward.

Conclusion: Hannibal is very accepting of himself, so he doesn’t undergo severe challenges on the path to acknowledging what he feels for Will. He knows what love feels like because he felt it for Mischa before, so he embraces loving Will pretty quickly, even though he doesn’t know how to best approach it at times. That’s why we get direct and explicit confirmation of his feelings several times.

Now, on to Will.

Unlike with Hannibal, there is no evidence that Will has ever experienced love before (at least love for people). We know he had a father and was lonely as a child.

E4 of S1.

*Will: We were poor. I followed my father from the boat yards in Biloxi and Greenville to lake boats on Erie.*

*Hannibal: Always the new boy at school? Always the stranger?*

*Will: Always.*

His choice of words indicates that his relationship with his father wasn’t all that good (for instance, *I followed my father* instead of *My father and I had to…*). So, it doesn’t look like Will ever had meaningful connections. More than that, he says:

*Will: There’s something so foreign about family. Like an ill-fitting suit. Never connected to the concept.*

We can suggest that he doesn’t know what love is or how it feels like. From E1, we know he isolates himself because he hates himself for who he is: he understands he’s different, that there is darkness in him, but he desperately tries to subdue it and deny this fact. He’s rude, twitchy, and unhappy, but like Hannibal, he understands the extent of his loneliness only upon meeting him. That’s when he tries forming relationships with others.

Will’s relationships with Alana and Abigail are a good indication of his problems with love. He wants to be with Alana because he needs to feel normal. In 99% of cases, he remembers about her only when she comes to seek him out first. He kisses her for the first time at the moment of particular vulnerability, fearing that he’s finally losing his mind (in E8). When Hannibal calls him out on it, Will doesn’t deny it and semi-nods. He actually had to agree with it verbally according to the script.

*Will: I feel unstable.*

*Hannibal: That’s why you kissed her. A clutch for balance.*

*Will: Because I’m losing mine.*

So, it’s not that Will feels romantic love for Alana — he uses her because he desperately needs to feel like everyone else. Alana is a pretty, smart, normal woman who fits this goal perfectly. He doesn’t allow himself to be genuine with her unlike he does with Hannibal, to whom he opens up.

Will confesses to Hannibal that he loved killing Hobbs in E2, which got him down and made him panic. Hannibal supports him, and Will keeps coming back to him. He talks about everything important with Hannibal, opening parts of himself that he guards from everyone else. Will asks Hannibal to look after his dogs as early as E4 — he doesn’t have other friends, and he’s already focused on Hannibal. He buys into an idea of having a family with him and Abigail, which is amazing for Will, who has just said he could never relate to the concept of family.

When Will buys a gift for Abigail in the same E4 and freaks out, Hannibal asks him:

*Hannibal: Feeling paternal, Will?*

Will’s reaction is instant and defensive:

*Will: Aren’t you?*

Hannibal easily says “yes”, which disarms Will. This is a great contrast between them: Hannibal isn’t afraid to talk and acknowledge his feelings while Will is embarrassed of them and shies away from them. In fact, this is a repeat of their conversation in E2.

*Hannibal: You saved Abigail Hobbs' life. You also orphaned her. It comes with certain emotional obligations.*

*Will: You were there. You saved her life, too. Do you feel obligated?*

Again, Will deflects. He’s wary of emotions, especially of admitting them out loud.

Will shows a hint of romantic interest in Hannibal in E7. He brings him a bottle of wine out of blue, but unfortunately, he stumbles upon the party Hannibal is preparing. Hannibal invites him to stay, but Will says he won’t be good company. He’s shy and awkward, smiling nervously and dropping his gaze in embarrassment. Then we have this lovely line:

*Will: I’ve got a date with the Chesapeake Ripper.*

So, in S1, Will makes considerable emotional progress. He realizes he wants a family after all, and while he makes several half-hearted attempts to court Alana, he’s mostly focused on Hannibal and Abigail. He opens himself up to Hannibal, receives official guardianship over Abigail with him, arguably flirts with Hannibal (like in the wine scene above), and covers up murder to protect their family. But then Hannibal betrays him. Will doesn’t know his reasons yet, but this betrayal plunged him into darkness, bitterness, and new stage of emotional repression. It’s worth mentioning another point of Abigail here: in the end, Will doesn’t know her. He spoke to her only several times, and even fewer times were genuine. He loves the idea of her, and this idea was introduced by Hannibal, not by Abigail’s presence. It’s Hannibal who forced Will to confront his need to love and be loved.

In S2, Will is incredibly conflicted. He acknowledges to Hannibal that he hurt him, tries to kill him via Matthew, but when he recognizes that Hannibal wants him as a friend (as spoken in E7), his attitude changes. Will doesn’t plan to forgive him, he’s still angry at Hannibal for killing Abigail (which is his biggest conflict, as evident from his talks with Hannibal himself and Freddie), but now, he can’t bring himself to harm or betray Hannibal.

He gets his first chance in E7, after being released from prison. He threatens Hannibal with a gun and has a perfect chance to make him pay, but he doesn’t. Instead, he conspires with Jack and decides to cultivate co-dependency, creating an environment where only he “and the fish exist” (E8). What does Will do to start? He makes himself physically attractive, grooming and dressing prettily. It’s a seduction on all levels, and Will plans to use emotions to hurt Hannibal back. At the same time, Will admits to being confused over what he feels for Hannibal.

E8 of S2.

*Will: I envy you your hate. Makes it much easier when you know how to feel.*

E9 of S2 (talking about trying to kill Hannibal with Margot).

*Margot: Did he have it coming?*

*Will: What do you think?*

*Margot: I can't say that I know.*

*Will: Neither can I.*

He spends the rest of the season lying to both Hannibal and Jack, unsure whose side to choose, too lost in his own feelings to make sense of them. At the same time, he has a dream where Hannibal calls him beloved in E9. It shows that Will contemplates the idea of love in relation to Hannibal. In E10, Will tries to fantasize about Alana as he’s having sex with Margot. However, he sees the image of Wendigo near the fireplace, Wendigo who he’s used to associating with Hannibal. Two interesting things (copied from my other meta): first, Will actually sees Hannibal’s room and consequently, he sees himself in it (or he sees their rooms united). Second, he sees the Wendigo near Hannibal’s fireplace. Fireplace has many meanings, including passion, sexuality, home, family, and resurrection. It emphasizes the sexual and romantic subtext of this uniquely shot scene, where people destined to be together have sex with the wrong partners. Will’s vision begins to contract, focusing on Wendigo: he is having an orgasm at this very moment, imagining the Wendigo’s face very close, approaching him. Still through the misty eyes, he tries to focus on Alana again, but his gaze moves up to Wendigo above her, as if he can’t help himself. He and Hannibal reach orgasm first, with Alana and Margot following them. So, Will dragged Hannibal into his sex fantasy. It’s both symbolic and physical: he tried to imagine Alana just like he tried to have a relationship with her before, in S1, out of his desire to be normal. But his attention is inevitably drawn to Hannibal, who’s his “real deal”.

Based on this scene, it’s underlined once again how Will struggles with emotions. Even in the safety of his own mind, in his own fantasy, he tries to think of Alana but still ends up with Hannibal. Will is always fighting himself and who he is. He refuses to accept his darkness just as he refuses to admit he loves Hannibal. It’s the essence of who he is, denial is his second name.

Among the important moments, there are Will’s words to Hannibal:

*Will: You are right. We are just alike. You are as alone as I am. And we are both alone without each other.*

So, Will accepts the bond with Hannibal, and at this stage, he even has the courage to voice some of his emotional thoughts. His progress is slow, but it’s there.

In E11, Will has a nightmare. He sees a burning corpse of ‘Freddie’ in a wheelchair, a symbol of his betrayal of Hannibal, and he hears his own increasing screaming. It’s easy to interpret, knowing the context: Will feels guilty for lying to Hannibal.

When Margot loses her child, Will feels renewed anger at Hannibal. He fantasizes about killing him and gets to realize his fantasy with Mason’s help in E12. But at the last moment, Will changes his mind and chooses Hannibal. He does the same thing in E13 by calling him. When he sees him, he doesn’t even try to point a gun at him: he asks why he didn’t leave as he was supposed to, and he even leans forward to accept the knife, accept the punishment for betrayal.

So, Will chooses Hannibal over Abigail, for whom he wanted justice; over his and Margot’s child, for whom he wanted revenge; over Jack and Alana, who were his only semblance of friends; over his own confusion and desire to be normal. For someone as emotionally stunted as Will, it’s huge. It proves that he loves Hannibal and is willing to compromise all other relationships he has formed as well his own beliefs for him (while Will is dark, he tries to fight it because he doesn’t think people like them are normal). Is it romantic? Will’s dream with the word “beloved” and his sex fantasy, as well as his acceptance of the idea that he and Hannibal were Abigail’s fathers (which makes them partners) imply that yes, romantic feeling is a part of it.

Hannibal’s romantic feelings became explicit in S3, and so did Will’s. But since Hannibal is more open and self-accepting, his were discussed out loud while Will’s were mostly portrayed silently, implied, and alluded to.

Will builds a boat to sail and find Hannibal, which is pretty romantic by itself. He spends his time in Hannibal’s house, in the kitchen where their bloody break-up happened, imagining Abigail near him. When Alana comes to find him, he asks her to leave. He’s cold and indifferent toward her — she’s not what he wants, and he’s not interested in even friendship with her. All he wants is to mourn his lost family with Hannibal and Abigail. Again, Hannibal is Will’s priority.

Will imagines his perfect world as the one where he and Hannibal killed Jack together. This scene is intercut with his Mizumono memories, namely, with Hannibal's face that emerges every time he moves yet another part of the engine. This is a vivid demonstration of Will trying to repair what is now broken. When Jack asks him why he called him, Will is indifferent and genuine:

*Will: I wasn't decided when I called him. I just called him. I deliberated while the phone rang. I decided when I heard his voice … I told him to leave. I wanted him to run … Because he was my friend. And because I wanted to run away with him.*

That’s a big admission for Will. This is the first time he openly acknowledges Hannibal as his friend in front of another person. Chilton calls Will and Hannibal’s interactions a “flirtation” in this episode, which once again points us in the romantic direction.

The entire E2 of S3 is dedicated to Will’s love for Hannibal, where he argues about it with himself in the form of imaginary Abigail. This is another proof of Will’s problem with emotions in general and emotions for Hannibal in particular. He can’t just think to himself as normal people do — no, he can’t admit how much he loves Hannibal this. Instead, he imagines Abigail and talks to himself through her to make it easier. He berates himself for lying.

*Will/Abigail: We were all supposed to leave together. He made a place for us. Why did you lie to him? He gave you a chance to take it all back, and you just kept lying.*

Will is reverent about Hannibal; he keeps talking about him over and over again.

*Will: This isn't Hannibal, it's just where he begins. Beyond this, far and complex, light and dark, is the vast structure of his mind. A thousand rooms, miles of corridors. Everything he remembers, wonderfully and fearfully reconstructed.*

Will goes as far as lies at the place where Hannibal’s Valentine heart for him was, reconstructing this image and trying to feel close to him. The heart comes to life the moment Will touches it, which is romantic. Will says:

*Will: A valentine written on a broken man … I do feel closer to Hannibal here. God only knows where I would be without him … He left us his broken heart … He misses us.*

He looks on the verge of tears, so Hannibal’s gift touched him. Will is overcome by emotions. At this very moment, his more frightened side suggests that Hannibal is also playing with him.

*Will: Hannibal follows several trains of thought at once without distraction from any, and one of the trains is always for his own amusement.*

We know it’s not the case, especially here, but Will has trust issues and a low self-esteem. He’s worried that Hannibal’s feelings for him aren’t as strong as he thinks they are, which is why he’s not sure how to react himself. He asks himself, *“You still want to go with him?”* and replies, *“Yes.” He wonders about what life they’d have if they left.

*Will: What if no one died? What if we all left together? Like we were supposed to. After he served the lamb. Where would we have gone? … In some other world.*

Pazzi comes and tells Will that he hopes they’ll catch Hannibal together.

*Will: What makes you think I want to catch him?*

Later, Pazzi says:

*Pazzi: He let you know him. He sent you his heart.*

E2 ends with Will scaring Pazzi and telling him, *“You don’t know whose side I’m on.* Then he tells Hannibal he forgives him, which is also a huge step in his direction.

This entire episode proves that yes, Will loves Hannibal. Considering how he isn’t awkward from receiving a Valentine or hearing that Hannibal gave him his heart, Will shares the romantic aspect of Hannibal’s feelings for him. He regrets not running away with him and their daughter, he places himself on the floor where the heart was to feel closer to him — this is such a rich romantic subtext that it’s practically text. Especially for Will, who remains so conflicted and emotionally restrained all the time.

Will’s attitude changes after seeing Chiyoh. He becomes more bitter. Considering how dark he is in these scenes and how he constantly compares himself and Chiyoh, he likely sees her as someone Hannibal was supposed to love but easily abandoned. It makes Will draw the parallels between them, and he starts to doubt that Hannibal loves him, that his “broken heart” has any authentic meaning. That’s where he starts thinking about killing Hannibal again. He still says:

*Will: I’ve never known myself as well as I know myself when I’m with him.*

This line also speaks volumes. Hannibal gave Will a precious gift of understanding himself; he showed that he could accept him, and Will is drawn to it. Will admits the depth of their connection to yet another person. Then he makes a firefly from Chiyoh’s prisoner, a tribute that is clearly done with Hannibal in his mind, considering the style and the central topic.

Chiyoh sees right through Will’s emotional constipation. She implies that he should “kiss” Hannibal rather than keep being “violent”:

*Chiyoh: I told you, there are means of influence other than violence.*

She kisses Will then, thus showing him what others means exist. He doesn’t get it, though, since he responds to her kiss despite not feeling anything for her, and she pushes him off the train, likely admitting he’s a hopeless case.

Meeting Jack, Will tells him that a part of him will always want to leave with Hannibal. This is yet another declaration from him. Will isn’t scared of the consequences — he speaks of his feelings openly now. It’s a great development of his character.

But the feeling of doubt about Hannibal likely resurfaces further after Will sees that Hannibal replaced him and Abigail with Bedelia in E6 (hence his hatred for her since that moment). He mocks her alibi and then leaves to reunite with Hannibal. The following moment was deleted, but it still discloses some of Will’s romantic feelings:

*Will: I looked up at the night sky there. Orion above the horizon and, near it, Jupiter. I wondered if you could see it, too. I wondered if our stars were the same.*

From the words that did get into the episode:

*Will: You and I have begun to blur ... We're conjoined. Curious if either of us can survive separation.*

Will doesn’t just admit the bond between them, he elevates it the level of soulmates, implying they are one and the same. It’s also a declaration of love in his language. But love doesn’t stop Will from being vindictive, hurt, and angry, so after meetings with Chiyoh and Bedelia that affected his perception, he pulls out a knife as he and Hannibal are walking together.

There is a brain-sawing disaster after this and E7, where Will looks done and tired from the madness and his constant attempts to figure Hannibal out. He does bite Cordell before looking at Hannibal, seeking his approval; he uses “we” pronouns when speaking about Hannibal with Alana. One example:

*Will: You helped Mason Verger find us.*

So, he still sees himself and Hannibal as a team, but he’s still tired and bitter, so after everything is over, he hurts Hannibal by saying he doesn’t share his appetite and by attacking him emotionally.

*Will: I miss my dogs. I'm not going to miss you. I'm not going to find you. I'm not going to look for you. I don't want to know where you are or what you do. I don't want to think about you anymore.*

This is all personal and emotional. It sounds like a break-up, which is exactly how Bryan Fuller and others referred to it. When Hannibal leaves and Jacks arrives, Will puts on his glasses, an indication that he’s hiding again.

Fast-forward 3 years. Will is married now, but from the very start, we see that this marriage isn’t all people usually expect it to be. The first scene shows the family apart. Molly and Walter have gone fishing, which is something Will loves. He had dreams about teaching Abigail how to fish, but he doesn’t go to do that with his family, preferring to stay alone instead. It’s the first hint that his heart isn’t in this relationship, that he’s too hung up on the past to move forward and make new happy memories.

Jack came to drag him to Dragon’s case, and Will makes it look like he’s reluctant. At the same time, he doesn’t send Jack away, even though we know from the past that he has no qualms being frank when he wants to. More than that, he asks him not to show pics to Molly, but when they have dinner, Will deliberately leaves the house with Walter, leaving Jack and Molly together. At night, when Molly’s asleep, he crawls out of bed and goes to read Hannibal’s letter. He doesn’t tell the truth to Molly about himself and his dark urges, about everything he has done – Molly clearly has no idea who he truly is, considering how she jokes about his ‘criminal mind’ in later episodes and how Will immediately closes himself off from her. He never initiates physical touches with her; he doesn’t return her “I love you”, which is an even bigger indication of his lack of commitment. Will is emotionally stiff with Molly for the most part, and the only times he laughs with her or shows any emotion is when they are talking about superficial stuff in the former case and when he’s furious after Francis’ attack in the latter one. Other than that, there is no closeness or honesty.

Another point of Will’s inability to express or even give his love to someone is in his scene with Walter in E11. This child, his step-son, has just been attacked by a serial killer with his mother. His mother was hurt and they barely escaped. Will doesn’t hug him or offer him paternal emotional comfort; he’s very awkward. All he says is, “You're both safe here,” which is something an officer might say but not a father. Will was much more emotional in his fantasies about Abigail.

This is what Will says about Walter’s reaction to Jack:

*Will: He read about me in a Freddie Lounds article. I had to justify myself to an eleven year old.*

He’s resentful and not emotional. He doesn’t say, “I had to justify myself to my son!” – he distances himself from him. Will is cold. He has expressed his feelings for Hannibal at this point in rather poetic ways, but he can’t be bothered to do this for his wife and his son.

He treats Hannibal in a very reserved fashion too, in comparison to how he acted 3 years ago. However: first, there is the fact that he came to visit him in the first place. Will didn’t need his help, we saw very clearly how he managed to easily reconstruct the crime scene the night before. It proved that his mindset is in a good shape, so he didn’t need Hannibal’s assistance. But it’s Hannibal he requested to see right away.

Will distances himself from him by calling him “Doctor Lecter” and insisting that he’s more comfortable the less personal they are. His eyes glisten, though, and he can’t look away from Hannibal. The impersonal approach doesn’t last very long, too, and soon, they are talking like they always did. Hannibal accuses Will of marrying for false reasons.

*Hannibal: How did you choose yours? Readymade wife and child to serve your needs. A stepson or daughter. A stepson absolves you of any biological blame. You know better than to breed. Can't pass on those terrible traits you fear the most.*

Will doesn’t bother to deny it, though any man would have been offended, particularly if he truly loved his family. In Will’s case, from the experience and all the precedents, silence = agreement.

In E10, Will seeks Bedelia out. He acts catty and jealous, targeting her personal connection with Hannibal.

*Will: You didn't lose yourself, Bedelia, you just crawled so far up his ass you couldn't be bothered.* - personal, targeted against Bedelia's attachment to Hannibal.

*Will: You hitched your star to a man commonly known as a monster. You're the Bride of Frankenstein.* - personal, attack with romantic connotation. Bedelia catches up on it and mocks him:

*Bedelia: We've both been his bride. Have you been to see him?*

*Will: Yes.*

*Bedelia: Haven't learned anything, have you? Or did you just miss him that much?*

*Will: Have you been to see him?* - personal again. Will wants to know if Bedelia is keeping contact with Hannibal.

*Bedelia: I've seen enough of him. I was with him behind the veil. You were always on the other side.*

*Will: Something we should talk about.* - again, personal. It's all personal, which is why Bryan and Hugh called them Hannibal's jealous bitchy exes. Will is palpably jealous and he shows his resentment to Bedelia openly.

Later, we have some more romantic references.

*Bedelia: My relationship with Hannibal is not as passionate as yours. You are here visiting old flame. Is your wife aware of how intimately you and Hannibal know each other? … Your experience of Hannibal’s attention is so profoundly harmful yet so irresistible, it undermines your ability to think rationally.*

So, there is romantic text, parallels between Hannibal and Will’s wife, and Will doesn’t deny any of this again. He keeps coming to Bedelia because she’s the only person he can talk about Hannibal to without being watched.

After Hannibal sends Francis after Molly and Walter, Will spends about a minute being angry with him. Then he accuses Hannibal of staging a competition between him and Francis. It is startling: Will spent months, years mourning the loss of Abigail who he didn’t even really know personally, yet he forgets the gravity of what happened to his wife and won very quickly. He leaves Molly and Walter and tells Bedelia that they are finished. One traumatic event, and Will left. It coincides with something very important that happened here: after this, Will finally figures out Hannibal is truly in love with him. So he goes to Bedelia to discuss it with her.

*Will: Is Hannibal in love with me?*

*Bedelia: Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes. But do you ache for him?*

Will is predictably silent. Obviously, if the answer was no, he would have said no. But he struggles because like we established, he has issues with expressing emotions. He only managed to start referring to Hannibal as his friend openly in this season, opening up about some of his feelings, but he’s not ready to go this far. It would be absolutely out of character for Will to say, “Yes, you know, I’m in love with him! Thanks for helping me see it.” Every confession Will makes is preceded by struggles and heartbreak. But he’s going to reply to Bedelia’s question, only not explicitly-verbally.

Will sets up Chilton and then comes to allegedly say good-bye to Hannibal. He lies several times in their conversation (about Chilton and Molly with Walter), so all his words are automatically suspicious. Regardless, he destroys Hannibal emotionally and walks away. Personally, I believe he was already planning to break him out, so he was playing it up for cameras and also taking a chance to hurt Hannibal for everything again. But whatever his plan was, what happens next is that Will conspires with Francis against Jack, Alana, and the FBI. They agree to break Hannibal out together. Will lies to Jack and then gets to ask Hannibal for help. He’s being flirty and manipulative in this scene.

*Will: I need you, Hannibal … You're our best shot, Hannibal. Please.*

He’s smirking, he leans close to Hannibal, he sends him a flirty look from under his eyelashes. Will is thoroughly enjoying himself, and he does it best when he has some excuse to hide behind.

Later, he lies to Jack and Alana again, leaks info to Francis (who nearly killed his wife and son), and gets many officers killed by proxy. He tells Bedelia the truth that he doesn’t “intend Hannibal to be caught a second time.” He also implies that he’s going to let him go free, which is why Bedelia should pack her bags.

*Bedelia: Can't live with him. Can't live without him. Is that what this is?*

This time, Will agrees, although in his way.

*Will: I guess this is my Becoming.*

For Will, Becoming was always connected to his feelings for Hannibal because accepting himself and his darkness meant being free to escape with Hannibal.

*Bedelia: You found religion. Nothing more dangerous than that.*

In E3, it was stated that love is a God (you can find more here https://www.reddit.com/r/HannibalTV/comments/7w54dg/lovegodreligion_s3_parallels/), so it’s possible to say that religion = love in this context. It certainly makes sense. Will is accepting himself and his emotions, and the trigger was establishing for sure that Hannibal is in love with him.

Will and Hannibal drive to the cliff house. When Hannibal asks Will if he intends to save himself by killing them both (Hannibal and Francis), Will replies:

*Will: I don't know if I can save myself. And maybe that's just fine.*

This is the first time he confesses that he might be incapable of killing Hannibal. Predictably, when Francis comes, Will can’t handle seeing Hannibal killed, so he reaches for his gun.

Will and Hannibal work as a unit and protect each other. Hannibal is shot, nearly strangled, thrown onto the ground, and he is still weakly holding on Francis' leg to prevent him from going after Will, even though it leaves him in an open and vulnerable position — Francis does kick him in the face with his other leg. There is fierce determination on Will's face as he stands up despite the pain and runs to save Hannibal. They act in synch, consummating their relationship.

Then, Will admires how blood looks on his hand and repeats Hannibal’s words:

*Will: It really does look black in the moonlight.*

He remembers the words Hannibal said to him weeks ago in one of their endless interactions. A bit earlier, he perfectly recalled the words Hannibal told him *years* ago, back in the middle of S2.

*Will: I understand that “blood and breath are only elements undergoing change to fuel your Radiance." Hannibal said those words. To me.*

So, Will remembers everything Hannibal told him. He stores these memories. It’s a small but still important proof how important Hannibal is for him.

At the cliff, Will finally accepts the truth.

*Hannibal: See. This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.*

We know what Hannibal wanted: a Murder Husband. What does Will say to this?

*Will: It’s beautiful.*

This is a loud “yes” to Bedelia’s question about his feelings. Will acknowledges, accepts, and admires them. He doesn’t feel awkward, as he would if he knew Hannibal is in love with him but didn’t feel the same. No, he reaches forward to embrace him, and such physical contact from Will is mind-blowing because he almost never does it. He clings to Hannibal, puts his head on his shoulder, touches him as if he wants to melt with him. Then he gives the fate a chance to stop both of them or to set them free. They fall into the ocean under the Love Crime song, another romantic element.

Water symbolizes reborn, and post-credits scene indicates that Will and Hannibal have paid a visit to Bedelia and are in the process of eating her while she’s hiding the fork to stab one of them as he approaches. The deleted epilogue to the series shows that they are in perfect harmony now.

**Conclusion**: Will has passed through a long, painful journey. He went from hiding from emotions and deflecting to not denying and carefully acknowledging them. We don’t hear words “love” or “in love” from him in relation to Hannibal because Will is not that kind of person. He doesn’t use these words freely, and for him, every small emotional step is a struggle. He tried to deceive himself and other numerous times; he tied to deny the truth and manipulate his own mind, but with each season, his feelings for Hannibal became more and more explicit. Will reaching out for physical contact, Will saying “It’s beautiful” are his way of saying, “I ached for you. I love you.”

This is a story of mutual love and obsession, about soulmates, about unique type of connection that few people share. It’s not about Hannibal falling in love and Will not feeling the same. Their feelings are equally strong, but they express them differently, particularly as Will’s are tied to the acceptance of his own darkness.

#will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #nbc hannibal #murder husbands

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wield-the-mighty-pen · 3 years

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The Crows and their love languages

I Don’t know if this has already been done, but this is my interpretation of the love languages of the Crows, feel free to disagree but this is what I felt best fit the characters based on what I’ve read/seen.

Nina

Without a question as both a giver and a receiver, Nina’s love language is physical contact. Though she is seen displaying every other love language, it is through touch that Nina appears to benefit the most. She is offended and subsequently worried about her relationship with Matthias when he avoids touching her and still hadn’t kissed her. Through Inej’s POV, we see a lot of hugs and touches given by Nina. She even uses touch as a heartrender. For her job at the White Rose she is required to touch people to improve their mood and change their appearance. But to focus on the first one, she literally uses touch to make people happy. It makes the most sense to associate Nina with physical contact, which also might be the reason that she and Kaz don’t get along.

Matthias

I found Matthias to actually be the hardest to figure out, he doesn’t really display any specific patterns when it comes to displaying affection. I would say that it is physical contact but he seems to avoid a lot of physical contact with Nina to stay in accordance with the Fjerdan tradition. I guess the love language I see the most with Matthias as both a giver and receiver is acts of service. When he recalls his mother, he remembers aiding her when she was pregnant, he offers on several occasions to do things for Nina, he considers Jarl Brum, a man he was in service as a soldier to, as a father figure. As a receiver, his reaction to Inej’s sacrifice on the first boat indicates that he values acts of service. Additionally, he begins to like Nina (in flashbacks) after she had helped save his life and worked to keep him alive. There are other examples of acts of service being his love language, but I think this suffices.

Wylan

100% he is in need of some words of affirmation. Though we don’t really see his interactions with the other crows as much since he doesn’t have his own perspective in SOC, in Crooked Kingdom and in the times we see Wylan in Six of Crows, his usage of words of affirmation is evident. As a receiver, he is seen to want approval desperately from his father, to take offense easily at teasing from the other crows, he seems to tie a lot to words. As a giver, his preference for words of affirmation is even more abundant in example. He is always seen giving pep talks to Jesper and is mystified when Kaz refuses to admit the importance of Inej, he becomes angry at the lack of acknowledgement of her merit, of her significance to Kaz. Wylan appears to gather strength from words of affirmation, in fact, after he shares his inability to read with Kaz, it is Kaz’s response that gives him the strength to share with others and even embrace his disability. As a child who so rarely got words of encouragement and affirmation, it makes sense that he places such importance on this particular love language.

Jesper

Jesper is an interesting case, he, like Nina, likes to utilize all of the love languages. However there are two that he really hones in on. As a giver he is seen to use physical touch and occasionally words of affirmation, as a receiver he requires words of affirmation. Focusing on Jesper as a receiver, the beginning of SOC establishes words of affirmation as his primary love language. He is hurt when Kaz doesn’t acknowledge his trust in Jesper and is seen multiple times throughout the book with hurt feelings when he is excluded from the secrets Kaz shares with Inej, he wants the affirmation of his close relationship with Kaz through the sharing of secrets. As a giver, Jesper uses two different languages. In regards to physical contact, he is shown using this love language a lot with others, there are a plethora of examples within both books, it is shown that he relies on this mode a lot. However, he also employs words of affirmation, the best example of which I can think of is when he lies to Inej about Kaz visiting her to spare her feelings. Though the effort didn’t work, Jesper’s nature is exposed here for being one of comforting words regardless of their accuracy. The other example I think of is from the beginning of Six of Crows, where Kaz remarks that Jesper would pacify the dregs and make Kaz’s victory belong to them all and would boost them up. He is evidently known for his use in this love language, and therefore is still relatively evenly between the two methods of affection.

Inej

Inej uses two different love languages, one as a giver and one as a receiver. As a giver, Inej employs words of affirmation. This can be seen through her various pep-talks given out to the other crows, in her kind words to her hurting friends, and in her exchanges with Kaz. She is good at encouragement and her words are shown to have an impact, specifically seen with exchanges she has with Jesper and Kaz (they both think about and mull over her words in their inner monologues). It is through words she connects with others, however she has relationships and important connections that more often than not do not supply her with words of affirmation back. This leads into her receiver love language, this being quality time. This is not the most intuitive love language for Inej, but through analyzing her character it is plain to see that it is this love language that she responds to the most. The way that Inej recalls her family and her father is through her fond memories of them, is through the good times she spent with them. She does not simply remember her family through traits or through objects or even through words but through scenes, and through the memories that contain the words she remembers. Additionally, when injured on the Ferolind, she requests that Nina stay and spend time with her, she values her presence. With Kaz this love language is a little harder to scope out, after all their relationship also contains acts of service, gift giving, and little bursts of words of affirmation, but Inej seems to appreciate and respond the most to the quality time she spends with Kaz. She is hurt when she learns that he didn’t visit while she was unconscious, there are countless examples of wordless communication as they spend time together, Kaz even points out that he “is here” with Inej, he is present and there to help her, something that she subsequently responds to. In a way, Inej’s relationship with Kaz is unique from her other relationship in that it requires every love language (even physical contact) but quality time is in many ways a significant one.

Kaz

Now that I’ve gone on a tangent for Inej, we finally reach our most complex character when it comes to love languages (I’m sorry please prepare for another tangent). To be clear, Kaz’s love languages are not difficult to decipher from the vantage point of a reader but the way he expresses himself to other characters is in a complex manner that was formed from his upbringing and past trauma. As a giver it is plain and obvious that Kaz is a gift giver, he is constantly seen practicing this love language. He gifts Jesper his guns back after he loses them in Crooked Kingdom, He gifts Wylan his family fortune back. He even yearns to gift his dead brother his avengeance in the form of taking down Pekka Rollins. Of course, this love language can be viewed the most in his interactions with Inej. He notoriously gifts her a ship “The Wraith”, he gifts her her parents, he even gifts her freedom by buying her contract from Per Haskell, each gift allowing her the future she so desires. Although these gifts pain him, although he wants her to stay with him, he still gives and provides her with these tools, because he loves her, because he wants to express to her how much she means to him. Kaz is not a character who outwardly expresses his feelings very often, but through his gift giving it is shown that he does appreciate those around him, that he does care about others. As a receiver however, Kaz appears to appreciate the love language of Acts of Service the most. Though this analysis is about the books I did want to touch upon a scene in the TV show. The scene in question is when Inej kills the inferni. Inej commits her first kill in order to help Kaz and the look he gives her pretty much sums up his feelings on the matter.

In the books he says in his narration how him making Jesper his only second, shows that he trusts him. He gradually warms up to both Matthias and Wylan as they progress in the mission and continue to aid him. He trusts Nina enough to be a part of the six going to the Ice Court, after using her services as a heart render multiple times. Now, it is possible that he only brought her along because of her powers and her connections to Matthias, but knowing Kaz he could make do without a heartrender and her addition only made things more complicated with Matthias at the beginning. Kaz agrees to free Inej after her words “I can help you”, he responds to that, it is with those words, with that offer to assist that their relationship begins. Inej is portrayed doing acts of service for Kaz nearly every night since her buyout, and Kaz has responded in kind making her his right hand woman. In summation, the way to earn Kaz’s respect, trust, and admiration is through acts of service.

#six of crows #shadow and bone #the crows #leigh bardugo #kaz brekker #inej gafha #jesper fahey #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #soc #crooked kingdom #ck #spoilers #shadow and bone spoilers #soc spoilers

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miss-choco-chips · 3 years

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Drink and make merry, my friend (you'll be gone come morning)

Day four: historical- pirates // sci-fi- space

There are three pirates chilling in the dungeons. None seem overly concerned about the fact that they’ll be hanged come morning.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Bartholomew H. Allen. Bart for the friends. ‘The red nuisance’ for everyone else. Wasn’t the first time he’d been inside this very same prison cell; probably won’t be the last. The guards stationed in front of his door were the quickest on their feet, so maybe they’d have a minimum chance of catching the fucker should he escape again. Probably not, but the Arch Duke had been particularly displeased the last time he’d weaseled his way out of their prison, so they had to at least pretend to try.

He’d been unconcernedly chewing on dried meat for hours now. How did he manage to smuggle it into the cell, no one knows, but after he bit the first few hands that tried to take his treasure away, the general consensus was to let him be.

Similarly, anyone who held any notions of spending a fun afternoon with the only woman among the sea bandits was quick to be corrected, either by a broken hand or a kick that stole the air from their lungs like it was gold from a ship’s treasury.

Her name? Cassandra Sandsmark. She did not fuck around, and really, considering she would be dead by that time the next night, it was’t worth it to punish her for ‘prisoner misconduct’. That was why they left her be. Not because she scared their balls back into their bodies. The fact that she was Princess Diana’s wayward niece and, death row or not, the noble Lady would murder them all for even breathing in her direction, was a notable plus.

The last pirate, well… He’d chosen to spend his last night on earth doing push ups. It was probably better to leave him to his own devices.

Conner Kent. Whether or not he had any relation to Crown Prince Kal was anyone’s guess, but they did look startlingly similar; something the younger man had taken advantage of to avoid capture multiple times in the past.

To catch any of them wasn’t an easy task. The fact that they were all there thanks to the same man was beyond amazing.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

An auburn haired boy ran through busy port streets, his form almost a blur between passerbys. Jumping over crates, avoiding street vendors, sliding over banisters and landing at the very last step of any stair in his way, the youngster made a truly astounding escape.

Tough luck his opponent had accounted for that.

Just as he was rounding that last corner separating him from the port (and his freedom), a foot struck out. Quick thinking saved him from face planting on the disgustingly dirty streets, but his surprise and momentum cost him precious seconds of stumbling.

The swords pointing him from every direction when he straightened weren’t as threatening as the lone young man standing behind the National Guard, unarmed but from the cutting edge on his glare. Without breaking eye contact, the runner threw both hands up in surrender.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The guards barely even glanced up when the servant girl let herself in, softly pushing the trolley. They did, however, when the scent of food caught their attention.

“That for us, pretty lady?”

Blushing, the girl looked at both men from under her brown fringe.

“The… the prisoners…”

Elbowing each other, they smiled, sharks smelling blood in the water as they eyed the delicacies on display.

“It’d be a waste to let people who are gonna be fish food by this time tomorrow eat such an amazing feast.”

The girl hesitated again, her duty to feed the prisoners at war with the populace general unwillingness to disobey their military enforcers.

“Come on, pretty lady”, the other one edged on. “Who’s gonna tell the higher ups?”

Something flashed behind her beautiful blue eyes, and she nodded, gently pushing the trolley in their direction.

From within their cells, the three pirates watched in silence.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

If anyone were to ask, he’d been minding his own damn business when shit went down.

He had only wanted a beer. Really, life just wasn’t fair to wanted criminals.

It was just his luck that his crew chose this particular tavern to drink and make merry. Though, Kon supposes, it wasn’t their fault either. How would they know that the Lavender Throne pirates favored the same establishment?

He’d only been a member of the Renegades’ crew for about two months now, but he already knew how this fight would turn out. He was easily their best fighter, and the Lavenders were all about the same level of well trained; so here he was, alone in a circle of enemies, fist held high and feet doing their best not to trip over fallen crewmates.

Or maybe not so alone. A smaller back pressed against his, and he could see from the corner of his eye how the men trying to get his blind spot fell like flies. Not one to doubt his blessings, he doubled his efforts.

When things died down, Kon relaxed, marveling at the fact that just two of them were enough to deal with a full tavern of enemies. The bar maidens started to rise from under the tables they chose to hide behind, and Conner was about to turn around and thank his surprise saviour, when the feeling of cold metal against his neck stopped him in his tracks.

Uniformed men started bleeding into the room, dragging unconscious pirates away. When one approached him and his mysterious capturer, he almost felt the man behind him shaking his head.

“This one is high risk. I’ll take him myself.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Are you sure? There’s plenty enough for all of us”, asked Dumb Guard Number one again, words almost unrecognizeable under his chewing.

The girl, sitting primly in the chair they oh so gentlemanly had offered for her to wait on until they finished their impromptu dinner, shook her head.

Dumb Guard Number two didn’t need to be told twice and snagged the last piece of bread.

“Is it just you two for the night?”, she asked, apropos of nothing.

The more sharing of the two nodded. “Yeah, until the morning shift guys come and take them away to the plaza for their sentence.”

She whistled softly.

“Seems kind of mean, having only you two to guard three of the most wanted pirates of the last few years.”

The second one smiled a bit. “Nah, we got dealt a nice hand. We get to eat and laze around, and as good as they are, they can’t weasel their way between those bars. No excitement here. The day guards are the unlucky ones here.”

“How so? Aren’t them, like, a lot more? Seems like it’d be easier, sharing the weight of it.”

“Yeah, but Lieutenant Drake will be with them, ‘s going to personally oversee the executions. Can’t exactly slack off with the favored son of Archduke Wayne breathing over your shoulder, now can you?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

“Cassandra!”

“Go! I’ll hold them off!”

The older woman, holding desperately to the other’s hand, made a sound of profound distress.

“But-!”

“Donna, just go! If they catch you- just how much do you think Diana is going to suffer?”

“It’s the same with you! We can run together, there’s space in the spare boat”

They were running out of time. She knew convincing her older sister figure to leave her behind was not going to end well or happen quickly, so the blonde pirate shot a look to vice captain Artemis. They both knew Donna was just too important to risk like this, her relationship to Diana recognizable enough to use her as leverage against their Princess. Cassandra, as beloved as she was by the women who took her in, had spent the better half of her childhood hiding her real identity and running amok where few would be able to point her out as Princess Diana’s protegeè.

Ignoring her mistress’s screams, Vice captain Artemis’s arms went around her waist, lifting her clear off her feet and dragging her away, her strength forcing Donna’s hand free of Cassandra’s arm.

Soon, Cassie stood alone in an empty ship, sword in hand as she watched the sun setting over the horizon, the distant figure of dozens of escape boats a mere shadow in the distance.

When the sound of boards and then feet hitting the deck reached her, her hand tightened on the sword’s hilt, but she didn’t turn to see.

“It was a bold move. Brave, though.”

The words made her startle, spoken so closely to her ear, the approaching presence absolutely unnoticed until that exact second.

Breathing in deeply, Cassandra spun on her feet, sword raised. Her enemy was already a few feet away, safe from her board attack. His cold stare clashed with her feral growl, an ice prince facing off against an amazon fighter.

No other soldier dared approach them, as the sound of their clashing swords echoed in the quiet of the night as thunder.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Just as a distant clock was about to point both arms to its highest point, both guards fell asleep. Literally fell, face planting in the dirty prison ground.

Sighing tiredly, the young serving girl rose to her feet. Walking towards Dumn Guard Numer 2 (stopping only barely on her way to nudge Dumb Guard Numer one to the side, so he wouldn’t drown in the puddle his face had landed on), she crouched down and took the keys from his belt.

When she stood again, all three pirates were on their feet near their doors, waiting.

“Who’s first this time?” asked the youngest, voice vibrating in his excitement, smile bright.

“Me, for sure”, crowed Conner, hands on his hips.

“What are you talking about? I made him fight for it. Drew blood, even.” Cassandra, proud smile and raise hand, threw back in challenge.

To all their surprises, the maiden went straight for Allen’s door.

“What? Me?”

“What the fuck?”

“Are you seriously telling us IMP is the one who gave you the most trouble this time?”

The girl shrugged, but a small smile could be spotted under her calm facade if one cared enough to look for it (which they all did).

“I had to chase him all through Star Port city. I was tired afterwards. The two of you made me fight, but it wasn’t nearly as exhausting.”

The boy jumped out of his cell as soon as the door was opened, fist raised in victory.

“Yessss! Free booze!”

“It’s a stupid bet”, the girl shrugged at the other two’s upset frowns. “None of you are an actual challenge, after all.”

“Oh, shut up, asshole. Get us out of here before those dumbasses wake up.”

Before long, all three pirates and the young castle maid were running through empty streets towards the port.

“The ship is ready for you to take. I made it look like you stole it from a very drunk, very unsuspecting crew of beginners.” As they all ran, she… he, took his hand to his head, snatching away the brown wig. Hair, black like a raven’s wings, fell over his icy blue eyes.

Cassandra, keeping pace with him, accepted the disguise. “Where to, after?”

“There’s instructions on your next mission already written down on the back of the map, on the captain’s cabin. I left the key to the cellar as a paperweight over it, so there’s no way you’ll miss it.”

Behind them, the other two boys crowed in delight. Bart even makes a small little jump, never slowing their pace.

“Is it fully stoked?”

Turning to look at the bigger man over his shoulder, the maid-turned-criminal rolled his eyes.

“Half. I do need you all lucid enough to do your chores. But whatever you find along your way that doesn’t slow your progress on the mission, you can loot for yourselves. There’s an empty treasury on the right side of the ship just for that.”

Another jump, this time from the other pirate. The two running ahead shared an exasperated, though fond, look.

They reached the promised ship before long. It sat there, beautifully tilting this way and that thanks to the gentle waves reaching shore.

They stopped there for a second, the three pirates facing their rescuer.

“Will you be alright? Won’t anyone suspect?”

He shook his head, hands demurely raising his dress a slight inch from the ground in a small courtesy.

“Caroline Hill has a perfectly solid cover, and there are lots of people who’ll vouch for her if she’s ever suspected for tonight. Also, the guards chosen for the night shift are known for slacking off in their duty. Falling asleep close enough to the cells for one of you to snatch the keys and free themselves won’t be too much of a stretch for anyone to imagine.”

They smiled back at him.

“Do try to catch some sleep before going back there as Lieutenant Drake. You’ll need your beauty rest to give a convincing ‘I left those criminals in your care and you LOST THEM?!’ show.”

“The laughable state of the kingdom’s military is perpetually infuriating to me. Don’t worry, I’ll be believable. And I can use this as an excuse to fire the most incompetent guards in the history of ever.”

“Do you ever do anything without at least two different reasons and multiple plans banking on it?”

“Why would I, that just sounds like a waste of my time. Now go, run off, before someone sees four people hanging by the port and gets curious enough to remember faces.”

“When will we see you again?”, asks Conner, hand catching his friend’s shoulder before the man in the dress can turn around and leave.

“This mission should last a month or so, and after you hid the objective in the safe place I designated for it for me to pick up later, you’ll need to scatter. I’ll catch you again soo after that, so in total… maybe two months? Three if any of you give me an actual challenge, but I’m not holding my breath for that one.”

“Bastard. See you soon.”

“Make sure to take us drinking next time, Tim. We barely see you now that you have to play good lawful boy with your dad.”

“Only if you idiots take good care of the ship. The Red Bird is a delicate lady and I’ll hang you myself if there’s even a scratch on her beautiful shell.”

“It’s almost as if you care more about a bunch of wood and metal than us.”

“Because I do. Now fuck off.”

[In which Tim is a privateer (Basically a pirate with papers. As the name suggests, privateers were private individuals commissioned by governments to carry out quasi-military activities; in this case, Tim does illegal things for the greater good. As a military agent, he’s hiring himself lol) and the other three are pirates working for and with him, because they like to help him do good things and they also get a chance at fighting people, drinking and looting treasure outside their missions. Tim catching and then freeing them is how they exchange information or he gives them his orders.]

#my writting #core disaster week #day 4 #historical-pirates #pirates #privateers #tim drake #kon el kent #bart allen #cassie sandsmark #humor maybe?#action i guess #a little bit at least #no angst #that's for sure #weird if you know me lol

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hafanforever · 4 years

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Split Decision

So I think what happens at the end of this particular scene in Frozen II has caused some controversy about Elsa’s actions. I’ve seen fans here on Tumblr displaying anger towards her because they believe that she was only hugging Anna, and then had Olaf join them, in an act of trickery to lure them closer to her so she would make sure that her ice boat creation would surround and hold them before she sent them away.

However, while I agree that Elsa’s move was a bit sneaky and deceptive, I understand why she did it and why she felt it was her only choice, even though she knew Anna would consequently be furious with her over it. And now that I think about it, I look at Elsa’s hug from another perspective and believe that it wasn’t merely a trick to lure Anna and Olaf into her boat trap, but her own way (though a rather forceful and indirect one) of saying goodbye to them.

Before this happens, Elsa has decided to venture to Ahtohallan alone, without Anna, saying that crossing the Dark Sea to reach Ahtohallan would be too dangerous of a trek for both of them to make. Yet Anna adamantly insists on coming to prevent anything from happening to Elsa, which she had earlier promised to Pabbie.

The thing here is, Elsa turns out to be completely right about the Dark Sea. When she tries to cross it, she gets knocked down twice by the waves, struggles to swim in the deep, choppy waters, and has to use her powers to try to overcome the obstacles to get further out and closer to Ahtohallan. Things get more complicated for Elsa when the Nokk appears; several times, it aggressively attacks her and attempts to drown her, forcing her to fight back with all of her might until she finally makes it settle down.

This whole scene reminds me of the earlier scene when Elsa decides to go to the forest and tries to discourage Anna from coming, saying that she (Elsa) has her powers to protect her, while Anna does not. But Anna stubbornly refuses to take no for an answer, given what dangerous feats she overcame on their previous adventure without the use of magical powers.

The entire scene of Elsa against the Dark Sea proves her point about her powers’ use in protecting her perfectly. She would not have been able to take care of herself by working to get past the big waves and fighting the Nokk if she had to do it with Anna, too. Maybe this sounds a little biased, and I don’t mean for it to sound that way, but it’s true that only Elsa could successfully face off against the Nokk since they are both magical beings (and as it turns out, Elsa is an elemental spirit just like it). Okay, yes, we’ve seen how Anna can do a damn great job of taking care of herself in tough situations, and I give her credit for it. I am not at all dismissing her as a weak, inept, incompetent, helpless damsel in distress, because I KNOW she isn’t. She’s tough, plucky, spunky, brave, and fearless. But Anna DOES have her limitations, and I think she sometimes overlooks or underestimates that about herself. Successfully crossing the Dark Sea and taking on the Nokk is NOT something she would have been able to do at all.

Getting back to Elsa’s reasoning that she had to go to Ahtohallan by herself, like I said, the scene of her doing so proves that she was right. Now she probably didn’t anticipate on encountering the Nokk, but I bet Elsa did think that there might be risks about which she didn’t know yet while crossing the Dark Sea, which is another reason why she refused to let Anna come along.

Another thing here that catches my attention is how Anna doesn't seem to heed Elsa’s words about the sea being too dangerous if they both tried to go, since she immediately responds to Elsa’s statement with, “No, no. We do this together. Remember the song? ‘Go too far and you’ll be drowned’.” It is crystal clear from these words, and from her earlier scenes where she never wanted to leave her sister’s side, that Anna had a desperate desire to protect Elsa during this journey.

When she adds, "Who will stop you from going too far?", it sounds like Anna isn’t thoroughly considering that the chances of Elsa dying was much greater, and for herself as well, if they tried to pass the Dark Sea together. Anna wanted to ensure that Elsa didn’t head too far into Ahtohallan’s depths and dying, but they wouldn't have even made it to Ahtohallan without crossing the sea first. They both could have perished before getting there, and then their mission would remain incomplete. Then again, perhaps Anna did realize the possibility of them both not being able to make it across the sea, but she just didn’t want to accept or even think about it because she was far more afraid of losing her sister if Elsa went all alone.

Obviously, the fact that the two discovered moments earlier that their parents had died trying to reach Ahtohallan in search of answers to her powers is what made Elsa decide that Anna could not go with her. She guiltily felt responsible for Agnarr and Iduna’s deaths, and she didn't want to carry extra weight on her shoulders by feeling responsible for Anna’s safety and taking the chance of her dying if they went together. Since Anna is the only blood family Elsa has left, she refused to risk losing her, too.

I mean, remember: Elsa briefly lost Anna once before, and at her own hands, so she was determined not to let it happen again. Any chance of losing Anna again on this journey would no doubt be permanent, and Elsa would never forgive herself if that happened. 😔

Like the earlier scene, Anna stubbornly refuses to take no for an answer to Elsa’s decision to go to Ahtohallan alone. While she understands Anna’s fear of the chance that she (Elsa) may die on her trek, Elsa knows that she may have to take that risk just to do what is right for Arendelle and the forest. But successfully crossing the sea is something that is far beyond Anna’s control.

So having made up her mind that crossing the sea would be more dangerous if they both go, Elsa puts her foot down (by LITERALLY doing so when she creates the ice path 😆) with utmost and firm determination that Anna cannot continue the journey by coming to Ahtohallan with her.

When Anna says that she wants to come because she can’t bear to lose Elsa, Elsa says she can’t lose Anna, either, and pulls her sister in for a hug. Like I said above, I see her hugging Anna, and Olaf, not just as a ruse to ensure that she could send them off to be safe, but to say goodbye. If Elsa thinks that she may die and thus never see them again, then she wanted to embrace them now since it may be for the last time. Despite Anna’s insistence and voicing her fear of losing Elsa, Elsa feels that her fear of losing Anna is even greater since Anna would be in much greater danger with trying to cross the sea. So she resorts to forcing her sister not to accompany her by making the ice boat and sending Anna and Olaf away to make sure that they wouldn’t and couldn’t follow her. Elsa also creates the ice path on which for the boat to slide to ensure that the two would be sent too far away for them to easily follow and catch up with her.

Additionally, I have been wondering if Elsa's desire to journey to Ahtohallan on her own wasn't just for the safety measures of her sister, but also because of her introverted nature, because of her independence and desire to do certain things alone (which she clearly demonstrated when she made up her mind to travel to the Enchanted Forest). Additionally, the fact that Elsa is another elemental spirit of the forest, the fifth spirit, means that she had to go to Ahtohallan by herself, as part of her destiny to learn her true identity. She had to be independent, as she likes to be, and discover the whole truth for herself, on her own.

While Elsa is the introvert between the two sisters, Anna is the extrovert, and with this kind of nature, I don't think she truly understands the ways of introverts. It is with this scene, and even in Frozen, when she insists to Kristoff that "nobody wants to be alone, except maybe you" as a response to him saying “Most people who disappear into the mountains want to be alone” that shows that she doesn’t entirely comprehend their ways. Maybe after three years, Anna understands Elsa and Kristoff’s introverted behaviors a little more. But when considering the big picture, I think she still believes no one ever really wants to be alone, or even do things alone, just because she doesn't want to. After all, Anna spent nearly all of those 13 years alone and isolated from the outside world, and she wants to make sure she never goes back to that life. And yet despite her tragic childhood and adolescence, Anna grew up to be kind, sweet, loving, and good-hearted, and never hesitates to help others and do what was right. However, it also seems to have made her a bit delusional and unrealistic by thinking everyone else wants to be around people like she does, or that they always need help for every situation. Anna doesn’t appear to fully understand that some people like to be independent and have to do things on their own, nor does she seem willing to accept the fact that she can’t help everyone with everything, especially Elsa. She has to learn that she can’t be by Elsa’s side all the time just to stop every bad thing that might happen. She has to learn to accept and respect the fact that Elsa feels comfortable taking on some challenges all by herself and doesn’t always need help. In the first movie, Anna’s ignorance of Elsa’s secret is part of why she didn’t understand why her sister was so distant and closed in. But even after discovering it, she still disbelieved that Elsa wanted to be alone and that it was a major reason why she ran away. And while she was right in the long run, Anna sometimes seemed to go too far with her optimism since she didn’t really listen to Elsa’s concerns that she couldn’t remove the winter curse. Likewise, when she first met Kristoff, Anna didn't understand his grumpy, rude, unfriendly behavior towards her and Oaken, or his contemptuous attitude towards people and society.

So now in this scene, Anna seems to be unable, or perhaps just far too stubborn, to comprehend the fact that Elsa MUST do this on her own as part of her destiny, and that her powers could help her through this, while the same could not be said for her (Anna). Again, the tasks of making it across the Dark Sea and simultaneously taming the Nokk are beyond Anna’s control. It would have been far more treacherous than climbing the North Mountain, surviving a frozen heart, and saving Elsa from her ex-boyfriend without powers to aid her. 😉

Moving on, when Anna and Olaf are finally out of sight, the last shot of Elsa in the scene shows her holding herself and looking unhappy at what she did. As I said in “Keep Your Hands to Yourself”, Elsa does feel guilty and unhappy over sending Anna away the way she did, knowing full well that having done so has made her sister angry at her. But right now, Elsa is far more concerned about Anna’s safety than her happiness, and she would rather send her away to be safe than let her come along for the rest of the journey just so Anna can be happy that they are still together.

So again, Anna could not come with Elsa to Ahtohallan because the perils of the Dark Sea could have killed them both. If it didn’t kill both of them, Anna would have been the more susceptible victim because she possesses no magical powers to help her, especially in dealing with the Nokk. With even one of them dead, Elsa and Anna’s mission would never be finished; as I explained in “Girls in the Mist”, they HAD to do it together.

Elsa’s decision to split her and Anna up in this scene means that for now, she has broken her promise that she and Anna would do their mission together. But when Elsa temporarily freezes to death upon going into the most dangerous part of Ahtohallan, Anna manages to lift the mist and free the forest by provoking the Giants into destroying the dam.

Because she was alive and safe like her sister wanted her to be, Anna was able to successfully finish the work Elsa started. So even though they weren’t physically together the whole time, they STILL did it together, meaning that in the end, Elsa kept her promise to Anna. 😁😄😊

#Frozen 2 analyses #Frozen analyses #Disney #Disney Frozen 2 #Disney Frozen #Frozen 2 #Frozen #Elsa #Anna #Dark Sea #Ahtohallan #decision #separation #1K #my stuff #mine

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