#he gave a girl brain damage once and then tried in a very fucked up away to make it right

[clonerightsagenda]

Possibly my *least* popular w359 opinion is that postcanon Doug and Miranda are friends and everyone else hates it. The others have all these preconceived notions about who they are/should be, and that has to get stressful. Doug has seen like 5 humans and isn’t an ableist jerk about Miranda’s eyes. Miranda tolerates him because he’s not weird about her. He’s the only one who knows her well enough to notice when her memories start trickling back and doesn’t say anything because that’s not anyone’s business. She offers to make him new lungs. They hated each other for personal reasons. They killed each other. They’re the only ones who understand this aspect of each other. They sit quietly in a room while the rest of the crew is piled outside the door trying to supervise out of paranoia but they are literally Just Hanging Out.

#also there is something both unsettlingly and comfortingly familiar about each other #she knew a more social man who talked to people so she didn't have to #he gave a girl brain damage once and then tried in a very fucked up away to make it right #maybe this time it won't go wrong (because it already did) #perpetual perpetual ladies night #wolf 359 #ok now I will log off for the night I promise #just think it's funny that like. Eiffel and Pryce would both hate this #Doug and Miranda know that

[sexydoffyman]

Hi! I am a very quiet person, and I never get angry (even somethimes a little but i don't scream and shout). Some years ago happened that a bully (a guy that i kwen since i was 7 yo and literally stalked me in very rude way: from the food, the clothes, the movies, the nail polish, manga, anime, my drawings and lot of other things and every time he tells me cruel words and rude things and every time I replied him to go to hell) managed to makes me angry... very angry. Like, I never scream when i am angry but in that case I started to scream against him. He just stare at the floor the entire time. Can I ask you a reaction for the Red Hair pirates to a girl that is usually quiet and for a reason like mine she starts to scream for angry?

Thank you, I like your blog very much❤️

ANGERED

genre: angst fluff

word count: 737

A/N: It was actually hard to make it at least a little fluff at the end.🐝 I feel weak in the legs.

"Common girlie, it's nothing serious." You heard from the man you spent months on a ship with. "Shanks it is serious." "Maybe not for you, but I'm scared."

To put you in perspective on why you were angry. You had a room in the lower places of a ship. This meant that lots of deep sea creatures would bump into these places on the ship. That wouldn't be a problem alone. The Red Force was a well-built ship, so it wouldn't take any damage. The problem was that these sounds scared you. They scare you a lot.

Shanks ignored the fact. I mean, he was going to move you. But before that, he wanted to tease you.

"Common Shanks, please don't be a dick." Shanks was looking at you with a shit-eating grin. You wanted to punch him in the face so bad. "Oh, common scared of little noise?" "What are you, a coward?" "Cowards aren't accepted on my ship." He said all that like it was nothing. That made you even more angry.

He knew that you wouldn't fight back. Whenever he teased you like that. Being the only girl in the crew didn't help at all. The men with monkey-like brains were making sexist comments and assumptions. You just ignored them. But now they were all chuckling. They took advantage of you for being too nice. And you couldn't do anything about it.

Now you were sick of all of it. Them taking advantage of your kindness. And them ignoring your problem. "Shanks, I'm serious!" you tried desperately once again. "Are you sure that it isn't the time of the month again?" He said teasingly.

*SLAP*

Shanks fell out of his bar stool and looked at you like, you just defeated him. A red mark in the shape of a palm appeared on his left cheek. "YOU NEED TO STOP BECAUSE WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS MAKING ME WANT TO LEAVE!" You yelled at him. The look on his face said that he knew that he fucked up.

Him hearing you say that, you feel like you want to leave his crew because of him. That might just be the worst thing he heard in his life. Now he was worried. He would never forgive himself if you ever left just because he was stupid.

"YOU MIGHT NOT REALIZE IT, BUT I LOSE INTEREST IN BEING HERE WITH EVERY "You really think you can open that? Common, you're a girl." AND IT HURTS!" You yelled your heart at them. You told them every single thing that weighed your shoulders.

Shanks tried to speak and make an excuse, but you cut him off every single time. When you ended yelling at them, you gave them one last glance and started to walk away to that room you hated so much.

You slammed the door behind you and sat down on your bed. You put your back against the wall and cried. You felt like you couldn't win even if you did everything you possibly could.

*knock knock*

You couldn't even tell him to fuck off when Shanks burst into your room. "Shanks, leave now!" You said with tears rolling down your face. Shanks ignored your request and hugged you while he sat you on his lap. You were so frustrated. You punched his side with all your might. But how could you defeat the grip of an emperor.

"Punch all you need, I deserve it." You hesitated to punch him another time. "But I won't let you go because you deserve to be treated well" You cried into the fabric of his coat and started yelling again "I HATE WHEN YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WON'T DO IT AGAIN, BUT LEAVE ME CRYING MY SLEF TO SLEEP THE NEXT DAY!"

Hearing you say stuff like that broke his heart again. He didn't realize he was making you cry every night. He never wanted to make you sad or worse, cry. He just looked at you with eyes that had regret written all over them.

You looked at him. It will gonna be hard, but you will forgive him. And he will do anything in his power to make you not angry at him. You knew that. You knew because of how tight he hugged you. And because of the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

"You can sleep in my room if you want-" "Shut up."

#one piece #one piece requests #one piece x reader #one piece x you #requests are open #one piece x y/n #requests open #one piece x female reader #one piece smut #one piece x gn reader #one piece x gender neutral reader #shanks x you #shanks x reader #shanks fluff #red haired shanks #shanks #shanks x y/n #shanks x female reader #one piece #shanks angst #shanks angst to comfort #shanks angst with comfort

[passerine-writes]

Silent Sparks - Volt 59

Warnings: It's the provisional licensing exam Word count: 4132

Notes: Italics - Tsukare signing Bold italics - Family member/friend signing 'Italics with apostrophes' - Thoughts

Masterlist

Volt 58 | Volt 60

A/N: I did so much research on orca's and the use of ultrasonic waves to immobilize things, I might be qualified to become a marine biologist haha, however for anyone confused on why things played out the way they did in this chapter, I'll leave an explanation at the end :)

We looked up as the giant flat screen turned on, the arena we just fought in on display.

"For the hundred of you who passed the first test, please turn your attention to the screen." Mera said over the intercom. Hitoshi and I watched in shock as it was blown to pieces. Buildings crumbling and crashing. A bead of sweat clung to my temple, the whole scene looking like Kamino. "There's only one more round to the exam. Your goal is simple: undertake rescue exercises and save the bystanders who are trapped in these disaster sites." My eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

"Save the what now?" Denki asked, voicing my thoughts.

"Use this time to show us how you will carry out successful rescue procedures once you receive your provisional licenses. Treat this as though it were the real thing." I looked to my brother and we gave each other confirming nods. Children and old people came on the screen and started setting themselves in the destroyed area. "These specialists have been trained as professional 'persons in need of rescue.' They're very popular. Introducing the 'Help Us Company,' also known as HUC for short. The HUC bystanders have dressed up like injured victims and will be located throughout the disaster site. We'll be judging how well you keep them safe as you go about your mission. Oh, by the way. We'll be scoring you on a point system. If you have more points than the benchmark at the time the exercise comes to an end, then you pass the exam. We'll start in ten minutes. Take care of any necessary preparations now." I swallowed the lump in my throat, Iida approaching Midoriya and I.

"It's like Kamino Ward." My best friend mumbled.

"That's what I was thinking." I muttered under my breath before walking away. My brother followed, keen on keeping me in his sights.

"Is she here?" I looked around the room closely before I froze up. My brother followed my line of sight before turning back to me. "The girl from Shiketsu?" I quickly nodded and tried to wipe the stress off my face. Immediately, I walked back towards the center when I heard Todoroki ask Yoarashi if he somehow offended him.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry. Did I hurt your feelings? Well, the thing is, son of Endeavor... I just can't help but hate you both. You've changed a little bit since the first time our paths crossed. But you definitely still have your fathers eyes." I quickly pushed between them, giving Todoroki some emotional reprieve.

"Alright, first off, learn to count, Roki has heterochromia. So it would be eye not eyes. Second off, rude. And third, grow up. Sure he's the son of a pro, but that's not all he's known for. You don't know him so don't fucking act like it, you had one interaction with him. And wow, heroes who don't get along have to work together all the damn time. Go loosen your hat to get some blood flow back to your brain and think things over before you run your mouth. 'Kay?" His glare turned to me as well and I rolled my eyes, watching as he got called over by his classmate and walked away with a wide smile.

Saved by the bell, quite literally, it rang right as Shindou started heading my way.

"Villains have performed a large scale terrorist attack spanning all of Insert City Name Here. Since most buildings collapsed, there are many injured." The building opened up once again, putting us back in the arena. "Due to heavily damaged roads, the first responders have unfortunately been delayed for the time being. Until emergency services arrive, the heroes in the area will lead the rescue efforts. Your task is to save as many people as you can and help the injured. And with that... Begin!" A loud alarm went off and we all immediately set off.

"Shoji, Jirou, Tokoyami, Koda, you guys are our eyes and ears. Tsu, you good to take the water?" I asked loudly.

"Always am!" I smiled to myself at her response.

"If any of you guys need someone back here, wave me down. I'll see ya." I got back a number of agreements. I broke off from the group, not wanting to over crowd. I quickly noticed a girl crying for help and I immediately ran over to her. "Hi kiddo, my name is Sonus, I'm gonna get you outta this. Does anything hurt?"

"My foot!" She yelled out while still crying.

"Okay, can I see it real quick?" She nodded and I saw that she had blood on the top of her foot. "Alright, do you think you can walk?" She rapidly shook her head and I crouched down to her level. "I'm gonna pick you up and carry you to the first aid area, yeah?" She nodded again and I gently picked her up bridal style, rushing back over to the front. Shindou and another guy were at the first aid area. Shindou smirked at me with a dark look in his eye and a blonde girl came over to me. "She has an injured foot, she hasn't complained about any other pains but we can't rule anything out." The girl looked at me in shock.

"Alright, set her down here." I nodded quickly and gingerly placed the HUC actress down in the first aid area.

"I'll be back with more as soon as possible." She sent me a curt nod and I ran off again.

I grabbed the mini flashlight out of my belt and made sure to check underneath areas that someone small could fit under. With my luck, I found a small boy this time, curled up under an unstable structure of concrete. He sobbed hysterically and I angled the light towards the ground slightly so we both could see and I wouldn't blind him.

"Hey, let's get you outta there. Are you hurt?" I asked in a gentler voice.

"My back hurts!" The boy cried out.

"Alright, I'll be right back, I need to grab something to help me carry you safely." He paused but then proceeded to cry harder. I stepped away from the opening and checked around on my glasses and thankfully spotted Momo. "Momo, it's Tsukare." I watched as she stopped and started looking around. "Turn a little more to your right, okay, I'm about a hundred meters away in that direction, I need help." She nodded and made haste over here. "I need a med gurney, injured back." I said quietly, taking every precaution possible that I would in a real scenario. She nodded and I turned away out of respect, waiting for her to give me the go ahead.

"One medical gurney." I gave her a small smile in thanks and started getting everything situated. "Tsukare. You are aware of how dangerous this is, correct? That whole thing is extremely unstable and could come down any moment." I sucked in a deep breath and nodded.

"I know. But it's either I risk my safety and save someone, or someone else gets hurt because I hesitated. So I'm getting him out." She stared at me for a moment before silently agreeing. "Okay, I'm gonna need your help carrying him back to first aid. Wait out here." She looked at me anxiously as I got back down on the ground. "Hey, I have something here that we're gonna have you lay on so we can make sure it's super safe for you." I slid the cot in front of me and started crawling through the collapsing tunnel of cement, the flashlight between my teeth. Once I was close enough, I grabbed it out of my mouth and looked at the boy who was shaking. "Can you wiggle your toes?" And immediately, he snapped out of his acting.

"That shouldn't be a priority! I'm currently trapped under unstable debris and separated from my family! And that's what you're concerned about? You're too much of a newbie! Minus points!" I looked at him in shock, not expecting that.

"I asked because if there's any paralysis or damage to the spinal cord or surrounding nerves I would need more equipment for proper treatment and evacuation. With how you're curled up, I can already infer that however the movement of lower extremities would clarify if it would be safe to move you. With kids it's better to keep a lighter attitude so they don't freak out even more in a crisis." It was his turn to look at me in shock for a moment.

"Ignore the point deduction." He said calmly before going back to crying, his toes curling and uncurling.

"Okay, I'm gonna need you to move onto here now." He continued to cry and carelessly flopped on the gurney, debris falling down on us as the cement slightly shifted. "Yao-momo, I need you to pull him out!"

"What? But, Tsukare-"

"There's not a lot of time, pull him out now! I'll be right behind him!" I called back to her, knowing that it would eat up too much time for me to crawl backwards while dragging him. I moved to the side, pushing him back just enough that she could grab him. "Okay, breathe." I told myself before tucking the flashlight back into my mouth. Slowly, I circled around, careful not to bump the walls on either side and rushed out of there. I dove out at the last second, just as the debris caved in and crushed where I just was. "Let's get him over to the medical area." Momo looked at me in disbelief but picked up one end and I grabbed the other. Both of us rushed over to triage, multiple other 'wounded' actors laying down, heroes coming and going.

"Tsukare, I need some help getting someone. You got a free hand?" Jirou asked quickly, to which I nodded. "Momo? You in?" I turned to the girl with the ponytail and watched her nod in determination. "This way."

We followed her just past the city where multiple walls of a building were pushed together. A man hunched over two kids, debris sprinkled across his back. I pulled my collar over my mouth slightly, the dust making me cough harshly.

"Are you three alright? Is there anyone else with you?" I asked cautiously, using my flashlight to illuminate the area.

"My wife, a- a piece of the building fell on her ankle!" The man cried out. I pointed the light back a little further until I saw a woman laying there with a piece of cement angled above her ankle.

"We'll get you and your family out safely!" I turned back to Jirou and Momo, both of them clearly stressed with the situation.

"Tsukare, I can't just watch you go in there again. You could get seriously hurt." Yao-momo lectured softly.

"We can't leave them here. So we have to think of something and fast. Jirou, you're our ears. The second you hear that that structure is going to collapse, you let us know immediately. Momo, I need you to make support beams and a gurney. Momo, we get in, we get out, assess their injuries and haul ass. Sound good?" Jirou gave me a smirk and sent her earphones into the ground. Momo hesitated but gave a firm nod. I walked into the desolate cave and went to the father first as Momo got support beams in place. "Sir, we're going to get your kids out first then you and your wife." He nodded and trembled his lip. "Hey kiddos, are either of you hurt?" They both shook their heads. "Hey, how about we get out of here, yeah? Let's go." They shakily crawled out from under the man and I scooped both of them up. I rushed out to Jirou and set them down beside her. "Okay, I need you both to wait with Earphone Jack while we get your mom and dad out of there, okay?" They immediately clung onto Jirou and I watched her fight through the mild discomfort before darting back in.

"Tsukare. I need help getting him on the gurney. I've already removed all of the debris off of his back." I tucked the flashlight back in my mouth and crouched across from her, letting her count for us to lift him onto the gurney with wheels. He groaned in pain and we quickly got him out. The building rumbled as we set him down.

"I'm getting the wife, wait here." Jirou went to stop me but I was already back inside. "Ma'am! The rest of your family is safe, outside of your foot, are you hurt?" She shook her head wildly and I quickly removed the piece of debris and picked her up bridal style. "I gotcha, we're gonna get out of here." I said to her calmly before running us out of the building. I slowed in front of everyone and looked to see what they were staring at, following their gaze to my calf. A large wound down the back of it, gushing blood but with all the adrenaline, I didn't feel the pain. "Let's get them to the medical area. I'll get taped up there too." Momo went to say something but stopped, opting to push the injured man as Jirou carried the kids. We were almost back when the faux villains arrived, explosions coming out of the ground and walls.

Gang Orca assisted out of the debris as I slowed beside Midoriya and Shindou.

"That's Gang Orca!" Midoriya exclaimed.

"Way to state the obvious, 'Zuku! We need to evacuate and relocate the medbay, now!" I hollered out as smaller villains started flooding towards us over the ruins of the city.

"Ah! Onryo! Your leg! Are you okay? You should probably get that patched up.." My best friend stated, clearly concerned.

"I'm fine." I retorted sharply, digging through my belt and tying some rolled up gauze around my calf, teeth clenching at the surge of pain.

"Onryo, maybe you should help with relocating the victims instead..."

"I'm alright." I muttered, gritting my teeth together from the pain. "Zuku? We gotta knock some of these guys out. Ready?" He nodded once and we ran off towards the swarm.

'I can't use my shattering waves, there could still be civilians trapped under the fallen buildings.'

'Okay, you can do this, only the villains not the cement.'

"Get everyone to safety!" Shindou called out as he caught up to me, the both of us now running side by side.

"Shindou, wait!" Izuku called out.

"Do it!" The black haired boy responded. "Get them as far away from the villains as possible! I'll start hammering away at the henchmen at one second intervals." Shindou crouched and placed his hands on the ground.

"Shindou, watch out!" I hollered to him, watching as Gang Orca appeared in his face just after he knocked out over a dozen villains.

"Nice try." Orca snarled before blasting Shindou back. "Only two rear guards to hold us back? You've underestimated me." The 'villain' stated, I quickly crouched down to Shindou's unmoving body.

'Orca's, ultrasonic waves... So, I could fight him?'

I quickly took out my hearing aids, put them in their case and zipped them into a belt pouch.

"Roki! I'll need some cover!" I called out when I saw the dual haired male in my peripheral vision.

Gang Orca looked at me confused, not having enough time to process and move away from me as I jumped up and kicked him. My boot collided with his cheek and he stumbled back. He quickly recovered but once he went for me, Todoroki sent out a large shield of ice. Ojiro and others behind him helping with the evacuation. While Gang Orca was temporarily immobilized, I helped Shindou up. My body tingled from the master 'villain' using his quirk again and I dropped Shindou.

"Aww, is that all you got?" I taunted, earning another confused look. The wind suddenly picked up and I dove Shindou and I out of the way as Yoarashi came down from the sky. "Todoroki! Focus!" He took a deep breath and nodded. "Inasa, get your head out of your ass, this is a team effort." I said to him with my quirk, his glare following to me. The two attacked simultaneously and I watched as it failed, the two falling into an argument. I quickly noticed that I could finally let loose. "Shattering Waves!" I called out, watching as the earth tore apart again, minor villains covering their ears fruitlessly.

I watched as another wave of flames were a mere moment away from Shindou and I. I pulled Shindou up with me as Izuku jumped over us, grabbing hand midair and swept away from the flames.

"Get your shit together!" I yelled to the two. Only for them both to be knocked out by Gang Orca. "Let's do this!" I yelled again, destroying more of the earth. Shindou popping up beside us and dealing more damage. I ran forward and went for hand to hand combat.

Izuku joined me and we worked together landing punched and kicks to the villains. The only thing I could see was a whirlwind of flames cascading around Gang Orca. Ojiro, Mina, Tsu and Tokoyami swooped in to help us so Midoriya and I tag teamed on Gang Orca, both of us going for a kick but everyone around us stopped.

The buzzer just went off, all of the HUC members have been saved.

I landed on the ground as Izuku signed those words and I lunged over to give him a hug.

"We did it! Oh my gods, we have to find Toshi!" He nodded rapidly and we ran over to where all the students were. I jumped into my brothers arms and he almost fell from the sheer force.

What happened to your leg?

Hold on, let me put my hearing aids in.

I rifled through my pouch and placed them in, listening to the slight static and background noise come through before I was swarmed in a group hug by several people. Mina, Hanta, Kiri and Denks all squeezing us together, cheering about how we did it. Denki going the extra mile of hugging me separately and spinning me around, giggles erupting from my body and a blush coating the apples of my cheeks.

"Tsukabro! What'd you do to your leg?" I looked down and saw the bandage was now soaked in blood.

"Uh, a piece of debris got me. I'll live." Denki looked at me concerned and everyone around me looked shocked.

"Go to the infirmary dumbass." My brother chided, ruffling my hair. I shrugged and walked with everyone to the locker room, a few sets of eyes in me as I changed quickly. One belonging to Denki, and another belonging to Shindou. I quickly changed my shirt, sat on a bench and used my costumes first aid gear to clean and rebandage my leg.

We made our way back out the arena, a giant screen set up for everyone to see their names. Denki stood on one side of me while Hitoshi stood on the other.

"Now, before I announce the results." Mera started from the front of the group. "I should probably explain the way we evaluated you. Between HUC, and those of us at the Heroes Public Safety Commission, we had a two-fold demerit system that we used to determine your total scores. In other words, we were evaluating you based on how few mistakes you made in a crisis situation. Anyway, the names of those who passed are listed here in alphabetical order. Keep my words in mind as you search the screen for your name." Mera finished and gestured to the screen. Dozens of names flashed on and after a minute of searching I finally found mine and then my brothers.

"Toshi, we passed." I mumbled, a tear of pure joy streaming down my face. All of us who passed erupted in our own cheers.

"Hey pipsqueak, you got a sec?" My fist curled beside me and Denki quickly slid his hand into mine.

"What do you want?" He raised his hands up in faux surrender at my icy tone.

"Just wanna talk, you don't have to be so hostile." He said in a light, joking tone.

"Make it quick." I told him and followed him to the outskirts of the examinees.

"You've changed, pipsqueak." I shot him a glare, irked at the old nickname.

"Don't call me that, get to the point." He scoffed and shook his head slightly.

"I'm sorry, for what I did when we were kids. I saw in the locker room that you didn’t have the best childhood." I looked at him with a stone cold expression.

"Cool, is that all?" He looked at me in disbelief.

"Tsukare? Am I interrupting?" I turned and saw Nakami standing a few feet away.

"Not at all. See you around Shindou." A small smile came on me face as I walked over to the boy. "Thank you for getting me out of there." He gave a gentle nod while we walked back towards where we were.

"You're welcome. I was hoping I didn't read the situation wrong and actually interrupt." I laughed lightly and shook my head.

"Definitely not. Do you want to meet some people from my class?" He gave a curt nod and I lead him over to my brother. "This is my brother Shinsou Hitoshi. Toshi this is Nakami Rintarou, we grew up together in the foster center." The two gave a small nod in greeting to one another. "The broccoli haired boy is our best friend Midoriya Izuku." He looked slightly amused at my description of him.

"Onryo, I have your printed results." My brother said I quickly grabbed the paper, eyes widening at my score.

"I got ninety six points." I mumbled and my brother gave me a fist bump. "Shoot we're probably going to have to leave soon, uh here." I handed my phone to Nakami and watched as he put his number in.

We all went out by the busses again and I stayed by my Dad's side. Scowling as Ms. Joke called out to him and came back over.

"Since we've reconnected, how 'bout we get together for joint training sometime?" I let out a breath, glad that it didn't go a different direction.

"Yeah. That could be smart." Dad said dully.

"So when's the wedding?" She asked happily. I looked at Dad as he sighed and he nodded, giving me all the go ahead I needed.

"Take this as disrespectfully as you'd like, but drop it already. He's told you no multiple times. It's not a game. He's turned you down, just get over it. You're a grown woman and it's sad that a child has to explain that to you." She looked at me in shock and Dad patted me on the back.

"Go get on the bus, I got it from here." I nodded, gave him a hug and walked over to the vehicle happily.

A/N: Hi lovelies, so for anyone confused on why Tsukare wasn't immobilized by Gang Orca, here's my explanation to it!

So Orca's use ultrasonic waves to immobilize their prey, essentially, it's their echolocation. They don't get paralyzed however, they get stunned, which is a large difference. The reason being is being it's sensory overload for the ocean animals when they hear the clicking and the frequency. It's scrambles then for a second. Multiple deep sea divers have reported that they get a tingling sensation when they're being watched by a pod of dolphins or other animals that use echolocation. So, since Present Mic said that Gang Orca doesn't have to be in water for his quirk to be effective, I went with the logic of the divers being in the ocean and not having that response. Granted these are super powers, so of course it's not going to work the same, but since Tsukare is hard of hearing, my logic was that he can't hear the echolocation being used. He can't hear the sound waves, so it could disorient him a bit and it gave him that numbing sensation. Hope this makes sense!

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #denki #kaminari #denki kaminari #kaminari x oc #tsukare onryo #erasermic family #dadzawa #eraserhead #hitoshi shinsou #present mic #class 1a #angst #slowburn #lgbt #adopted au #series

[just-come-baek]

bet on it

Pairing: Na Jaemin x female!reader

Themes: smut | fluff | kidna cracky | light angst | fake dating!au | college!au | idiots to lovers!au | love letters

Word count: 21.2k 

Summary: One day, Jaemin stops by with a strange request. Any other person would just laugh in his face and refuse in a second. Unfortunately, I, being the dumbass I am, agree to it. Soon enough, everything gets out of hand, causing much more drama than we could ever predict.

Or in other words, Jaemin shouldn’t bet on things he knows he can’t win.

Warnings: all characters share like 3 brain cells, and somehow they all belong to Ten??? | self-indulgent type 3 diabetes fluff | cursing | mutual pining | college duties negligence | scheming and plotting | double-crossing | hookup culture condoning | corny and cringy stuff | alcohol consumption | smoking | extreme winter sports | amateur matchmaking | professional wooing | manipulative behaviour | steamy smut | oral female!receiving | thigh riding | spanking | marking | overstimulation | protected sex | lots of teasing | made up warnings | I don’t remember more

A/N it’s an instalment for love letters event hosted by neosmutcollective, I hope you enjoy my jaemin entry as well as other entries written by my friends from the network, check out the event tags too, and yeah, happy valentine's day!  😏  💖

***

“What?” I yelled, almost spitting my tea. No, I must’ve heard him wrong. Jaemin wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that. It had to be a joke. Or I must’ve imagined him say that. “You don’t mean that,” I added, still in shock, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“Come on, Noona,” Jaemin whined, staring right into my eyes, wishing for me to say yes to his ridiculous proposal. “I wouldn’t suggest that if I knew we couldn’t pull through.”

With a sigh, I shook my head. Jaemin’s proposition was absurd, and I couldn’t believe I was about to ask him again to walk me through it.

Damn me and my curiosity.

“Before I make my mind about this… tell me what the fuck led you guys to make that stupid bet. Then, and only then, I will still say no, but in good faith,” I demanded, smiling at Jaemin, knowing I wouldn’t make it easy for him to convince me. The odds weren’t in his favor, and he really had to put in lots of effort if he really wanted me on board.

“So we were chilling after practice, and then Haechan started to tease me that I have no game anymore,” Jaemin started, and I rolled my eyes. Of course, I should’ve figured it out. A man in his age apparently is a failure unless he has a different girl in his bed at least 3 nights a week, moaning his name at the top of her voice. Even though Jaemin doesn’t have a competitive nature, it still provoked him into agreeing to this absurd bet.

Life must be though with an ego so fragile…

Jaemin isn’t a fuckboy, yet he still has a fair share of love conquests. Though I had no idea whether it was true or not, he must have fallen a little behind the others – otherwise, they wouldn’t tease him about it.

“And then I said his mother must’ve dropped him on the head if he really thinks that,” Jaemin carried on. I nodded my head, trying to wrap my head around this preposterous situation. “Then, I said I could seduce any girl I want,” he added proudly, making me want to flicker his forehead, hoping it would knock some sense into that empty skull at the top of his neck.

“Okay, but how the hell did you end up with having to seduce me? This is the part I have the most trouble understanding,” I pointed out, cocking my eyebrow.

“Then, Chenle suggested we bet on it, and I agreed to it,” Jaemin whispered, looking away, sounding both regretful and shy. “I urged them to pick any girl, so Haechan looked around to choose my next conquest. It was the time when you and Ten were walking to the dance studio, and that bastard suggested you.”

So it was Haechan’s doing – I should’ve figured this one out. He was the only one wicked enough to possibly ruin somebody’s friendship because of a stupid bet.

Or, it was quite genius of him – maybe he figured Jaemin would not cross this line, choosing our friendship over winning this imbecilic bet.

“And you were confident you can woo me? What about our friendship? Does it mean anything to you?” I inquired, curious of what was going inside his head when he agreed to this half-witted bet. Did he seriously think we could have sex and then forget all about it?

“It’s not like that! I don’t want to woo you. I mean… I could, and you would be very much aware if I tried to hit on you, and you would fall for me. No doubts on that,” Jaemin spoke confidently, grinning like an idiot with ego blown way out of proportion. “But–“

Jaemin was about to say something dense, so before more bullshit managed to leave his mouth, I hit him with a cutting board. Jaemin whined, but I was sure he was exaggerating for comedy purposes. My hit was calculated and balanced – it was powerful enough for him to understand it wasn’t a good idea, but at the same, it was not going to cause any permanent damage to his brain. I’d never purposefully do that to him.

“We’re not having sex. Get that shit inside your head,” I interjected, pouring my herbal tea down my throat, already thinking about making another cup. This conversation was making me uncomfortable, and I wanted to put an end to it. Perhaps another lemon balm tea would calm my nerves.

Ignoring his penetrating gaze, I shuffled around the kitchen, setting the kettle on the stove. In the meantime, Jaemin walked around the kitchen island and grabbed me by my shoulders, looking straight into my eyes.

“Come on, Noona, I am not asking you to sleep with me,” Jaemin defended his case, quite determined to pull me on his side.

“Well… it looks exactly like you’re asking me to sleep with you,” I cut in, walking around him to the cabinet to get a fresh tea bag. I’ve really had enough of this bullshit.

“We could just make it look like like we did,” he carried on, and I heaved a deep sigh, regretting even letting him in today. I had this extremely boring essay to write, and at this point, I’d rather begin my research on whatever topic my professor assigned.

“It’s still a no from me, sorry,” I replied harshly, crashing Jaemin’s expectations. Judging by the look on his face, it wasn’t the outcome he anticipated when he decided to knock on my doors. “What happens when you lose that bet? Well… except for your pride, of course.”

“500 dollars.”

“Ouch, sowwy, I hope you can afford that,” I added with a fake smile, patting him on the shoulder, being well aware this amount of money was a game-changer to Jaemin’s budget. If he won, he would have the time of his life, spoiling himself. However, if he lost, he’d have to eat instant ramen on every meal for the entire month. “Either way, I hope it will teach you a lesson to not bet on things you know you can’t win.”

“Ugh, fine,” Jaemin groaned in disappointment, reaching for my hands, holding them carefully as if they were made of china. “If you help me, I’ll give you half of the money,” he proposed, and I looked at our hands linked together, then quickly shifted my gaze to his eyes. “If you help me win, you’ll get 250 dollars, and you’ll be finally able to buy those fancy shoes you wanted so bad. What do you say?”

When did he get so persuasive?

It was a low blow.

Jaemin knew that these shoes were tempting me ever since I had seen them. Multiple times, my thumb hovered over the add-to-cart button. Every time, I resisted the temptation last minute upon seeing the price tag, though. This purchase was way out of my budget.  However, now, when the new income opportunity presented itself, it made me wonder.

Suddenly, the kettle began to whistle, bringing me down to Earth from that ridiculous train of thought. Shaking my head, I tore my hands out of Jaemin’s gentle grasp, fidgeting back to the stove, pouring boiling water into the cup.

“Okay, fine, but I have a few questions first,” I gave up after a short pause for intense pondering, and Jaemin smiled brightly in instant gratitude and relief. Without my help, he would be doomed. “And then, if I like the answers, I have a few conditions.”

“Anything.”

“Okay, so first of all, how much time do we have to do the deed,” I inquired as I blew some air before taking a cautious sip.

“About two weeks,” Jaemin mentioned after a while as he had counted on his fingers how many days we have to team up and win five hundred dollars for us. “Officially, we have to do it before Jaehyun’s birthday party,” he specified, and I hummed, realizing it is very little time.

“You seriously think I am that easy? Outrageous,” I gasped, throwing a fake tantrum as I made my way around him to sit down on the barstool on the other side of the kitchen island.

“No, of course not,” Jaemin quickly realized what I was getting on, so he smiled sheepishly, already trying to figure out the best wording to calm me down. “I am just that good,” he added, and I leaned over to smack his shoulder. “Kidding,” he defended himself, stepping out of my reach. “Renjun proposed this party, I mean, it’s the easiest way they can verify we did it,” Jaemin carried on, and I cursed under my breath.

How convenient.

“But we’re not going to do the fucking,” I stated, as a matter of fact, repeating myself in order to make sure we were both on the same page. As much as it would be pleasant to actually do it with him, never under these circumstances.

“No, we’re not, but I guess we can sneak out upstairs to one of the unoccupied rooms, and once we make sure they’re listening, you can just shout how good I’m fucking you,” Jaemin reasoned, and I sighed as regret once again washed through me.

“That’s creepy,” I commented as my mind conjured an image of a group of peeping Toms, eavesdropping on our sex session. Once again, I felt the temptation to drop out of this deal, but then, another thought crossed my mind. “Ugh, fine, I’ll do it. All I have to do is shout for two minutes, and then, these cute shoes will be mine.”

“Two minutes? Are you insane?” Jaemin hollered, offended by my comment. “It happened once, and it was ages ago. I’ve learned plenty of tricks since then,” he blabbered, acting way too defensive for his past mishap. “Just let me live in peace, please.”

“Okay, so we have established the deadline, and although it’s not enough time for anyone to woo me, let’s go with it.”

“Thank you! I knew I could count on you,” Jaemin replied with gleeful enthusiasm as he sat down on the barstool beside me and pressed a chaste kiss against my knuckles.

“But you have to go overboard with the courting,” I added, making Jaemin groan. Hard work wasn’t his best suit, but this time, he really had to try his best, or I’d have to turn him down at Jaehyun’s party. “You really have to make it believable and super romantic. Otherwise, I’m out,” I clarified, and Jaemin nodded, though unwillingly.

“Fine, any other wishes in mind?”

“Once we win the bet, we have to end this whole fake-dating fiasco immediately,” I announced, already planning ahead. It was easy to win the bet, but the most difficult part was getting back to normal. If we planned to fake-date in order to fake-fuck, then it was reasonable to figure out how we’re going to fake-break up.

“We should agree on admitting it was the best sex of our lives, but despite that, we value our friendship even more, so we decided to remain friends. How does it sound?” Jaemin suggested, and I had to once again resist the temptation to roll my eyes.

“I agree with the overall message, but later, we have to work on proper delivery.”

 ***

On the very next day, Jaemin and I decided to implement our secret plan.

Since I specifically asked to be courted in an over-the-top manner, Jaemin suggested going to the cinema. There were no attention-grabbing titles screened, yet ultimately, we agreed on watching the very last projection of the sequel to Wonder Woman.

“Go get the snacks, I’ll buy the tickets,” I ordered once we stepped into the cinema area of the nearest shopping mall. It was two o’clock in the afternoon, so the establishment wasn’t crowded. Except for us, there was only a family of three slowly making their way to the exit.

“See you in five minutes,” Jaemin murmured before he walked off to the bar to get us some salty popcorn and soda drinks. Though we both considered them way overpriced, it was a perfect way to celebrate the beginning of our fake relationship.

“We still have some time until the movie starts,” Jaemin shyly whispered as he cleared his throat. “Let’s take some selfies to make it public,” he added, and I nodded, sending him a timid smile, knowing this protocol had to be done in order to properly keep up appearances.

These days, everything had to be posted on social media, or it didn’t exist. If we didn’t leave a single digital mark, people might’ve grown a little bit suspicious of our alleged rendezvous. It would probably shock our friends, but it had to be done if we wanted to really sell it to them.

The circumstances were perfect for an impromptu first-date photo shoot. We were able to snap a few pictures without any annoying looks of prying eyes, choose the best angles, and finally post it with an ambiguous description confusing the shit out our friends.

Though Jaemin took about fifty photos, ultimately, I allowed him to upload three.

One picture showed me standing back to the camera as I looked at the cinema schedule, trying to pick a movie. I was wearing an A-line crimson red dress and a pair of warm black tights – the outfit really made my figure look pretty slim.

“What do you think about this one?” Jaemin inquired, showing me the photo of our interlaced hands. With a hum, I inspected the picture, giving him the green light. It was appropriate for our first date – it would signify we weren’t at the cinema as friends.

“This one looks good enough,” I commented as I reached to swipe across the screen of his smartphone. “I look cute here,” I added, showing Jaemin a picture of us. We were smiling, staring at the camera, almost stuffing our faces into the bucket of popcorn.

“What kind of description should I write?”

“Something vague, I guess,” I answered with a shrug, having no clue what kind of comment would be fitting for this Instagram post. “Maybe stick to emojis,” I suggested, and Jaemin went back to work, adjusting filters and typing the description.

With a chuckle, Jaemin handed me his phone, letting me approve his commentary.

“Are you out of your mind?” I hollered, quickly deleting the emojis. Having smacked his shoulder, I turned around, blocking him from seeing the screen. Three blushed emojis suited our fake-date better than a popcorn bucket, a wine glass, and an eggplant.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” Jaemin apologized, still laughing at his incredibly funny joke.

“Here, I posted it,” I said with an eye roll, throwing his phone at his lap. “The commercials must’ve started; let’s go,” I rose from my seat and extended my arm, wanting Jaemin to hand me the cup of coke. Jaemin, however, completely misunderstood my intentions, putting his hand into mine, holding it gently. “Give me my drink, Jaemin.”

“Sorry,” Jaemin sheepishly smiled before he yanked back his hand and turned his head around, too embarrassed to look at me. I, on the other hand, laughed hysterically. That should’ve served him right after that emoji faux pas.

“I was kidding,” I admitted when my laughter died down. “Come on, Jaemin. Let’s go; I want to see the trailers,” I added before grabbing his hand, hauling him inside the screening room.

At the last row, we plopped down onto our double seat, getting comfortable for the movie. With our belongings thrown onto the neighboring seat, we stretched our limbs before the lights went out, providing us with the best viewing experience.

“Do you think they’ve seen it?” Jaemin whispered into my ear as he placed his head on my shoulders. “I want to check it, but at the same time, I don’t.”

“Mood,” I replied, feeling just as anxious.

The movie began, and we quickly forgot about our bold social media statement, focusing much more on the screening. Residing to our typical behavior, Jaemin placed his head on my shoulder, snuggling closer, taking full advantage of the bucket of popcorn, which rested on my thighs.

It was peaceful and comfortable – just as things were before Jaemin had come up with his brilliant idea to fake-date each other for the sake of that ludicrous bet. Though we acted the way we used to with each other, it felt somewhat different with that supposed romantic connotations haunting us. Not necessarily bad kind of different, though.

Just as we expected, two hours was more than enough for our friends to spam our individual inboxes. We both had dozens of messages from group chats, as well as private ones. All of them were asking and/or speculating what happened and why.

“I don’t feel like answering any of these,” I muttered, dreading to read what Ten and Jiwoo wrote on our roomies’ group chat. “I don’t feel like coming home, either. They’re gonna eat me alive with questions. I am not ready to face them yet. Wanna hang out some more?”

“Fuck, even my mom has seen them,” Jaemin cursed under his breath, completely forgetting about his mother being a mad keen Instagram user. Now, when he looked at our arrangement from a slightly different angle, Jaemin realized it brought way more consequences than he was planning on facing.

It was bad.

Really bad.

With shaky hands, I unlocked my phone, checking the Instagram post Jaemin had tagged me in. Not only our friends flooded the group chats, but also, they didn’t forget to embarrass us even further in the comment section.

lucas_xx444: what the heck??? 😧 is this for real???

yuu_taa_1026: finally!!1 maybe they stop simping for each other now 🤡

_jeongjaehyun: another man down, shame 😔

choi.jiwoo21: 🙄🙄 some men actually grow up, jeong…

mama_nana: Why am I only finding about this now?

“Well… fuck,” I murmured under my breath, still unable to process the fact that Jaemin’s mom knew about it. It was supposed to be a harmless charade; however, with each passing minute, it was getting out of hand. “What is the damage control procedure?” I asked in concern, biting the bottom lip nervously. Lying to our friends was pretty bad, but keeping this relationship thingy up in front of his mother was despicable.

“You know how she is,” Jaemin started, and I sighed, wishing I had no clue of what she was capable of. Unfortunately, I did, and it scared the hell out of me. “Either we go and visit her, or she’s coming to visit us,” he wondered, unable to choose which option was worse. “Fuck, she’s calling me. What do I do?”

With panic flashed in his eyes, Jaemin handed me his phone, expecting me to handle the conversation with his gossip-girl type of a mother. As if that would ever happen…

“Pick up and tell her we’re awfully busy or something,” I ordered him, gliding my finger across the screen, pressing the device against Jaemin’s ear.

“Hi, mom,” he spoke through gritted teeth, staring at me in absolute fury. Quickly, his hand cupped mine before he grabbed the phone, adjusting it.

By Jaemin’s mom’s standards, the conversation was brief. Or rather, her monologue was because Jaemin didn’t speak a single word through the entirety of it. Except for a couple of mmm’s thrown here and there, he didn’t engage at all.

Ideally, Jaemin would schedule the visit after we will have broken up. He’d go there by himself and tell her a story of us coming back to our senses and deciding to remain just friends. Unfortunately, that would require at least one functional brain cell and a pinch of assertiveness – both of which Jaemin seemed to lack.

“And?” I inquired, praying to hear some good news.

With a sheepish smile, Jaemin cautiously looked up at me. “We’re visiting her for dinner on Friday,” he announced, and I gripped my hands, trying to refrain myself from beating the shit out of him.

I didn’t sign up for any of this!

I just wanted some shoes.

“I hate you, Na Jaemin,” I angrily declared, storming out of the cinema, ready to indulge myself with plenty of greasy food. It wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but I needed to consume a ridiculous amount of calories in order to forget I was stupid enough to agree to participate in this travesty. “Are you coming or not?!”

 ***

The last thing I wanted was to face my roommates. They must’ve had dozens of questions about this out-of-the-blue date, and I was dreadful because I couldn’t provide them with genuine answers. Perhaps, I could try to confabulate my way out of this, but it was, nonetheless, risky.

Having eaten at least two servings of a delicious greasy meal Jaemin and I went for a stroll under the pretense of taking some more photos for future references.

Around 8 o’clock, I unwillingly made my way home. Even with that romantic aura lurking around us, it was still fun to hang out with Jaemin.

Walking up the stairs to the fourth floor, I wondered about possible solutions to my problem. In a perfect scenario, I’d sneak into my room without anyone noticing, so I wouldn’t have to deal with any prying questions until, at least, early morning.

Unfortunately, the moment I pulled out my keys, the doors swung wide open.

“Well, well, well…” Ten tsked with a mischievous smirk dancing across his gorgeous face. Asshole. How dare he tsk me? “Had fun on your date?” He asked, and I tried my best to ignore him. It wasn’t that easy, though. With Jiwoo backing up his teasing, I was outnumbered.

“So… you and Jaemin, huh?” Jiwoo mused, cocking up her eyebrow in curiosity. “Spill the tea. I didn’t spam your inbox to not hear all the details,” she added, and I rolled my eyes, regretting all of my poor life choices that led me to this moment.

“I’ll bring wine,” Ten hollered before he disappeared in the kitchen, also keen on knowing everything that had happened between us. “Don’t say anything until I get there!”

They wanted to hear a romantic story of how two friends realized they had hots for each other, and that’s exactly what I did. Unwillingly, I provided them with an incredible piece of fiction of how we felt the spark when Jaemin stopped by the other day.

Admittedly, it was easy to go with the flow once the wine molecules were coursing through my veins. With some liquid inspiration in my bloodstream, I narrated how adorable Jaemin had been when he had gathered enough courage to ask me out on a date.

“So I assume you’re bringing Jaemin to the cabin on the weekend,” Jiwoo inquired in a teasing manner, and I blinked in confusion. What cabin was she talking about? “You forgot, didn’t you?”

“Forgot about what?” I asked, still clueless about the whole ordeal. With a confused frown, I wondered what this cabin trip was about. Positively, I didn’t forget about it. It’s impossible to forget about plans you weren’t even invited to.

So, Jiwoo explained everything in great detail.

Apparently, Jaehyun and Johnny planned a weekend getaway to the cabin by the sea. They invited plenty of people, but since it’s the middle of a hectic period of exams, only a small percentage of invitees would be able to make it.

Jaehyun, Johnny, and Lucas gave up trying to get the best grades two semesters ago, so their schedule was pretty much open. Renjun, Chenle, and Yeri were nerds with every necessary book memorized by heart, so they didn’t have to cram the weekend before the tests. Jiwoo, being heads over heels in love with Jaehyun, would even cancel her manicure appointment to make it to that trip. She was that serious about this fratboy for some reason…

And now, two individuals needed a perfect excuse to ditch an uncomfortable family dinner. When a chance presented itself in front of me, I just couldn’t say no.

“I’m going. I don’t know about Jaemin, though. He’s meeting his mom on Friday, but maybe he can make it work.”

“Fantastic,” Jiwoo shouted in excitement before finishing her glass of wine.

“Now, when I think about it, I am glad I’ve taken an extra shift at the gym,” Ten chimed in with a playful smirk as he sipped his wine. “You two simping for each other was painful to watch, but now, when you’re hitting it off, it’s gonna be unbearable.”

“What do you mean simping?” I yelled in a threatening manner, ready to fight him for spitting nonsense so carelessly. I might’ve had a tiny crush on Jaemin, but I wouldn’t call it simping. Also, suggesting the simping was mutual? He must’ve lost his freaking mind. Ridiculous!

“Shit, I didn’t think this through,” Jiwoo mentioned, now probably re-considering if the trip is worthwhile. She would love to hang out with Jaehyun and finally make a move, but on the other hand, she would have to deal with my and Jaemin’s romantic shenanigans.

“Why are you such drama queens? We’ve been on one date, for crying out loud! Stop acting like we’re some kind of overly touchy couple because we’re not,” I barked, having no more energy to argue with them. “We’ll keep PDA to a minimum, don’t worry.”

“No need to get so defensive,” Ten added, enjoying my misery a bit too much.

“I am not getting defensive,” I argued, though facing real trouble, unable to actually back up my perspective. “Anyway, I am going to sleep. Unlike the two of you, some people have real jobs,” I added before storming to my room, plopping onto my bed with a tired groan.

Having changed into my pajamas and sneaked under the covers, I finally dared to connect my phone to the Internet. My inbox was full of texts, so I read them all. I didn’t feel like replying to any of them, though. Instead, I opened my chat with Jaemin.

my love 💖 | 20:41 | I figured it out

my love 💖 | 20:41 | You don’t have to thank me

my love  💖 | 20:41 | Also

my love 💖 | 20:41 | Wtf Jaemin?

my love 💖 | 20:41 | What kind of name is that???

my love 💖 | 20:42 | Change it back

baNANA 🍓 |  20:43 | No. 😘

baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | The name stays

baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | You can’t make me 😝😝

baNANA 🍓 | 20:44 | And what don’t I have to thank you for?

my love 💖 | 20:44 | I might’ve found alternative plans for friday

baNANA 🍓 | 20:44 | Oh???

my love 💖 | 20:45 | Jiwoo invited us to the cabin for the weekend

my love 💖 | 20:45 | We’re gonna get so drunk!

my love 💖 | 20:45 | It’s okay if you can’t make it, tho

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | Wow

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | I have an exam on Monday…

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | But I can make Haechan give me his notes

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | I wouldn’t miss it

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Good, then it’s a date

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Date??? 🥰🥰

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Stop being so cringy!

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Good night, love~~ 😘

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Dream of me 😇😇😇

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Ugh.

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Disgusting 🤢🤮

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | I love you, too

***

As brilliant as my plan was, it fell through. Only partially, though. The little getaway was still a thing, but unfortunately, regardless of how much we tried, we couldn’t reschedule the dinner at Jaemin’s family home.

We still had to pay his parents a visit, but, at least, there was a silver lining.

Thanks to our hectic schedule, Jaemin’s mom wouldn’t have a chance to force us to stay longer. Whether she wanted to feed us dessert or stay the night, it was out of the question.

Since Jiwoo had one more exam to pass on Friday, half of the guests would have to show up later in the evening. Johnny, Jaehyun, Lucas, and Renjun were about to take off around noon while Jiwoo, Yeri, Chenle, Jaemin, and I had to carpool later in the evening.

I didn’t complain, though.

“It’ll be fine. It’s just my mom,” Jaemin reassured me, slipping his hand into mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I bet it’s gonna be like any other time you stopped by,” he added, and I cocked up my eyebrow suspiciously.

“You better be right,” I spoke, though still unconvinced. I knew Jaemin’s mother. She had a tendency to be, hmm…, a little bit extra. Who knew how she would behave now when she found out we were dating?

Since Jaemin was carrying our suitcases, I knocked on the front doors. Jaemin’s mom rushed to let us in, but not before she gave us bone-crushing hugs.

“I think you’ve misunderstood. I invited you for dinner. I didn’t ask you to move in with me,” Mrs. Na jested upon seeing the suitcases in Jaemin’s hands, misinterpreting the situation in the funniest way possible. “It must be shocking, but I enjoy living alone with your father.”

“We’re going to the beach with some friends after the dinner,” Jaemin clarified, and his mother hummed in understanding, acting a bit too cool about it. It’s been a while since Jaemin paid them a proper visit, and she was a little too nonchalant for my liking. “They’re going to pick us up around seven.”

She must’ve done something or was about to do something.

“Here’s some wine,” I spoke up, handing her the bottle as a small thank you gift for inviting us over for a delicious home-made meal.

“Thank you, dear. You’re so thoughtful,” Mrs. Na accepted the beverage, guiding us to the dining area. “I didn’t feel like cooking today, so I ordered some Chinese takeout. I hope you don’t mind,” she added, and I chuckled at her typical antics.

She was an amazing mother to Jaemin, raising him well, but she really was a terrible housewife. She didn’t change one bit, and I loved her for it. She had so much love for her husband, her son, and her son’s friends, and that’s what really mattered.

“Your father will be home in thirty,” she announced before she made a beeline to the kitchen to get a bottle opener. “And the takeout was supposed to arrive twenty minutes ago. If it weren’t for that slow delivery guy, I would’ve got away with my little secret,” she blabbered, laughing awkwardly.

“It’s okay, really,” I reassured her, sending her a genuine smile. “I am craving Chinese food, anyway,” I added before I elbowed Jaemin, so he would say something, too. For a blabbermouth he was, right now, he seemed awfully quiet.

Before Jaemin managed to provide his mother with a proper response, someone knocked on the doors. Since we had already arrived, it must’ve been the delivery guy with food.

“I’ll go get it,” Jaemin excused himself, leaving me alone with his mother.

“So…,” Mrs. Na cleared her throat as he began pouring wine into fancy glasses. “You guys are finally dating. And if you want me to be completely honest, I am a little bit disappointed,” she made a pause to look at me in the eye. What? She didn’t approve of me? That’s surprising; I used to think she adored me. “I am a little bit disappointed either of you didn’t make a move sooner. I was slowly losing hope,” she added, and I sighed in relief.

For a while, I was seriously concerned she didn’t like me.

“Are you expecting any guests? There’s no way we can finish it all by the four of us,” Jaemin commented as he walked into the dining room, setting two plastic bags of takeout. It smelled heavenly, and I couldn’t wait to taste whatever dish Mrs. Na had ordered.

“I can always invite your friends inside when they pull up,” she spoke matter-of-factly, but as soon as Jaemin looked at her sternly, she seconded that idea. “Or, I can pack it up, so you can share it with your friends later.”

“Should we wait for dad?” Jaemin asked when his stomach growled, demanding food. In the morning, he was quite anxious about going to his parents’ house, so he didn’t even bother to eat. Now, Jaemin was starving. He couldn’t wait any longer.

“I’ll get the plates,” his mom spoke, not really answering his question. Within two minutes, she came back with a special set of tableware. In their household, it was used only for holidays and other rare occasions. “Dig in,” she urged us, waiting for us to fill our plates before doing the same herself.

Whatever restaurant provided today’s dinner, it was remarkable. It wasn’t too salty, nor too spicy. Even when I was full, I still stuffed my mouth some more, unable to stop myself.

“You have sauce on your chin,” Jaemin remarked, pointing at his own chin, helping me locate the stray drop of soy sauce. “Here,” he added with a tired shake of his head, wiping it clean with his napkin.

“You two are too adorable,” Mrs. Na cooed, smiling at us widely. “It was worth the wait,” she added, and I creased my forehead in confusion. “Oh, did you hear that? It must be your dad,” Mrs. Na said upon hearing noise from the garage. “You keep eating, I’ll go greet his workaholic ass,” she excused herself with a playful smile before walking away from the table to welcome her husband as any loving wife would.

With a deep sigh, Jaemin leaned toward me, resting his arm on my chair.

“It’s not that bad, actually. I was excepting to go through some kind of FBI-level of interrogation, but she seems kind of chill about this whole thing,” Jaemin whispered into my ear, and I giggled, agreeing with him. It was kind of suspicious, but I couldn’t complain.

“It’s kinda creepy when she’s talking like she’s been rooting for us to end up together, but this one thing aside, it’s bearable,” I replied, and Jaemin nodded his head.

“I am gone for a minute, and you’re all over each other,” Mrs. Na snickered when she returned to the dining room, seeing Jaemin leaned in, only inches apart from my face. “Jaemin, mama’s so proud,” she added before she walked around the room to set the plate for Mr. Na.

“Stop embarrassing me,” Jaemin whined, playing with the food on his plate, pouting. Though his mother pretty much ignored his childish tantrum, I chuckled, finding it absolutely adorable. Maybe she was a teaser, but little Jaemin knew, he inherited it from her. It was time he experienced the taste of his own medicine.

The apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree…

The rest of the afternoon went peaceful. Though Mrs. Na threw in some cheesy remarks here and there, we could handle it. We were slightly buzzed, after all.

“It’s time for us,” Jaemin announced as he heard a car parked in front of the house. “It was nice. We should totally do it again,” he sarcastically added when he reached for my coat and helped me put it on.

“Don’t have too much fun,” she added with a playful smirk upon her face, earning a judging look from her more conservative husband. “No, wait, I second that. Have as much fun as you want. I am a cool parent,” she spoke, changing her mind in a matter of seconds. “And I plan on becoming a cool grandparent.”

At first, I wanted to remind her that we’re too young for children. Besides, technically, we only went on one date. It was definitely too soon to even think about these things, let alone talk about them out loud.

Thankfully, before I managed to say something I’d regret, Jiwoo honked, urging us to get going. If it wasn’t for her impatience, I might’ve ruined the image I had built for myself in Jaemin’s parents’ eyes.

“Your mother was joking! Always use protection,” Mr. Na hollered before he closed the doors after us.

***

Except for a few playful comments shot toward Jaemin and me, the ride was peaceful. As soon as we threw our suitcases into the trunk and squeezed in on the backseat, we hit the road. Jamming to Jiwoo’s playlist, we chatted in excitement, all of us in desperate need of a little vacation. It was a stressful time of a year, but maybe this short trip would actually help us recharge the batteries and calm down after busting our asses off.

“How was the dinner?” Jiwoo asked, staring at us in the rearview mirror. Since there was a limited amount of space, I was almost sitting on Jaemin’s laps. Jiwoo didn’t miss it with her eagle eyes. The way Jaemin played with my fingers didn’t go unnoticed, either.

“Bearable,” I muttered under my breath, not really wanting to recollect these memories now. I’d probably tell Jiwoo everything later, and she understood the subliminal message in a heartbeat. “How was your test?”

“I probably failed, but, at least, now I know what to expect,” Jiwoo answered as she turned to the left as the navigation system instructed her to.

In about two hours, we arrived at our destination.

Having stepped into the cabin with our heavy luggage in our hands, we encountered the middle of the party. A handful of beer bottles were scattered around the living area, the boys fervently discussing some matter.

“You’re finally here,” Jaehyun spoke matter-of-factly, as he noticed us in the threshold. “Go upstairs and leave your stuff in your rooms. We’ve already assigned them; just read the post-it notes stuck to the doors,” he explained before he turned away.

Huh, apparently, they were pros at planning.

The guys rented a cabin that consisted of six tiny bedrooms. Generally, we wouldn’t have a problem assigning them; however, since Jaehyun, Lucas, and Johnny didn’t want to room with anyone, we were facing a dilemma. They guys wanted to have some privacy if they managed to pick someone up at the hotel in the neighborhood. In this case, the six of us had to share rooms. Jiwoo and Yeri could room together. Renjun and Chenle could occupy another one, so it looked like they put Jaemin and me in the last one.

Thankfully, it wouldn’t be the first time when I had to share a bed with Jaemin. He had stayed the night plenty of times before when he dozed off during our Netflix marathons. However, it still was to be a little bit awkward since everybody thought we began dating. We were going to pull through, though.

As soon as possible, we came back downstairs, ready to even the score of consumed alcohol. All of us needed it. Everybody had a different reason for it, but none of our troubles were to be discussed tonight.

In the fridge, there was a whole palette of different types of alcohol. Quickly, I grabbed two tequila-flavored beers, handing one to Jaemin, allowing others to choose their poison.

My plan for tonight was to test every kind of alcohol, gradually going up with the percentages. It was a bad idea, but that’s what college was about – having fun like there’re no consequences.

We partied like there’s no tomorrow.

At first, we kept it simple. Fervent conversations led us to shout at one another, trying to force one perspective over the others. We were going through so many subjects that any sober bystander might’ve had real trouble comprehending how we managed to switch among them.

Then, someone suggested playing a drinking game. Of course, it had to be never have I ever. Everybody had so much fun, especially when the participants yelled at Jaemin and me because we didn’t even bother to abide by the rules. We were sipping our drinks whenever we felt like it, even between rounds, and it didn’t sit right with the rest. Eventually, they kicked us out of their little circle, giving us the crucial task of bringing some snacks from the kitchen.

Sometime past midnight, Jiwoo proposed going outside. It was beautifully snowing, but at the same time, it was freezing. Though I was opposed to this idea, everybody seemed to love it. The guys were throwing snowballs at each other, bringing out their inner child.

As if this wasn’t enough, they decided to take a stroll to the seaside. Though our cabin was maybe a mile away from the seashore, I didn’t particularly fancy the saunter. Jaemin was by my side, offering to warm my hand in his pocket, but I still was on the verge of freezing my ass off. I’d much rather sit by the fireplace under a few blankets with a mug of the mulled wine in my grasp. Apparently, everybody besides me was really intrigued by an ice bath and other winter extreme sports.

Though it was dangerous as fuck, Jiwoo took off her shoes and rolled up her jeans before she walked into the ice water of the sea. Being the dumbass he was, Lucas instantly followed suit.

“They seem to hit it off tonight,” I nonchalantly whispered as I elbowed Jaehyun. Jiwoo and Jaehyun might have a thing going on, but neither of them acted on it. Jiwoo was too whipped to make a move, too afraid of rejection. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was just a fuckboy, not really looking for a relationship. “Look at them. Don’t they look cute?” I carried on, cautiously watching Jaehyun’s expression. They weren’t together, but he seemed slightly jealous and frustrated watching her have lots of fun with Lucas.

In my opinion, he didn’t deserve her, but I didn’t really have a say in that matter. Jaehyun was the person Jiwoo’s heart longed for, and I, being her best friend, had to support that. Or, in this case, I had to give him a little push to get things in motion.

Jaehyun had some feelings for Jiwoo, but he needed some time and character development to fully comprehend them. Until then, it was my duty to remind him what he’s missing out on by not being serious enough to ask her out.

“Nah, I wouldn’t call them cute,” Jaehyun murmured through gritted teeth, positively jealous. “What they’re doing is dangerous; somebody has to stop them,” he added before he kicked off his own shoes, running toward Jiwoo to pick her up and bring her back to the shore.

“What was that?” Jaemin asked, being shook as to what he had witnessed.

“What was what? What do you mean?” I smirked, winking at him, hoping he wouldn’t tell anyone about it. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You played him,” Jaemin spoke, still impressed by how easily I manipulated Jaehyun into stepping into the scene, pulling Jiwoo away from Lucas. “Is this even legal? You’ve never done this one me, have you?”

“No, of course, not! Don’t be ridiculous,” I answered, though my tone suggested a completely different message. “You would’ve known, wouldn’t you?” I teased, chuckling at Jaemin’s funny expression. He was mortified. “I think you’re overreacting. I just pointed out some facts, and Jaehyun reacted to them according to his emotional opinion. I really didn’t do anything,” I added, defending my case.

“Don’t you ever try pulling a trick like that on me, okay?” Jaemin stated, and I nodded, giving him a promise. “I mean… I wouldn’t fall for it, but still, don’t.”

“We should head back to the cabin,” Johnny shouted, gathering the gang. Surprisingly, he seemed the most sober amongst us, so it didn’t come as a shock to me that he tried to look after his hammered friends.

In my opinion, it was a perfect call. I was slowly sobering up, and I definitely needed a refill. With my schedule packed, I had no idea when I would have a chance for another getaway, so I had to make the most out of this one.

As we returned to the cabin, Jaehyun’s eyes didn’t leave Jiwoo.

Jaemin, on the other hand, went upstairs to grab his camera, deciding it was the best time to snap photos. Of course, he had to take pictures of us when we were drunk out of our minds. Why didn’t he take any when we looked decent without smudged make-up?

“Sexy,” Jaemin commented as he pointed his camera at me. “Ahh, sexy,” he kept calling me that, and I stuck my tongue at him, wanting him to go away pester someone else. My hair was a mess, and my lipstick smudged off my lips a long time ago. “So sexy,” he carried on, making me roll my eyes at him. At some point, I tried kicking him, but that bastard was beyond my reach.

Around 2 o’clock, one by one, we began feeling tired.

Lucas was the first one to go. Considering how much alcohol he had drunk, I was surprised he lasted that long. Better yet, it was a shock he could even stand straight. Jaemin and Renjun had to escort him upstairs, but nonetheless, his alcohol tolerance was impressive.

I didn’t even realize when, but Yeri and Chenle managed to fall asleep on the couch. Firmly, Renjun shook them away, ordering them to go to their respective rooms. With tired yawns, they made their way upstairs, falling on their beds face-first.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Jaemin pouted as he sat on the side of the armchair, resting his head on my shoulder. Entwining his hand in mine, he stood up, pulling me up.

“Have fun, guys. We’re calling it a night,” I announced, refraining from yawning.

“No, you have fun,” Jiwoo replied, sending us a wink. Shaking my head, I sighed before we disappeared upstairs. I don’t know what she was thinking; however, I didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open, let alone other nighttime activities. Besides, Jaemin was just as spent. Even if we were in a real relationship, we wouldn’t engage in half-conscious unsatisfactory messy sex.

“Come here,” Jaemin whispered as he smiled. His eyes were already closed as he patted the mattress beside him, waiting for me to join. “Good job. I think we really sold it to everybody,” he added as he snuggled closer, wrapping his limbs around my body.

“That’s good,” I purred, slowly drifting into dreamland. It was a long day, and it was finally over. Though it had a rough beginning, I ended it in Jaemin’s arms. “Good night.”

“Good night, my love,” Jaemin muttered, resting his head on my pillow right beside my face.

“You were supposed to change that name,” I replied, too drunk or/and too tired to realize it was his spoken words and not a text message.

 ***

During the second week of our relationship, we grew to be less tense around each other. Better yet, we seemed awfully comfortable, almost as if that’s how everything was meant to be. It was a little bit alarming, but I decided not to point that out. Even if it was just an act, I enjoyed it much more than I’d ever dare to admit. As long as it lasted, I was to savor it.

Ever since we came back from the weekend trip, Jaemin would pop up out of nowhere at least once a day with a surprise for me, proving how over the top he could be in courting a woman.

On Monday, he spammed his social media feed with my pictures from the trip. Of course, he didn’t forget to put a corny description under it, making me flustered. Even though I wouldn’t consider myself photogenic, Jaemin managed to bring out my best features with his photography talent and editing skills.

On Tuesday, Jaemin was waiting outside the auditorium with a cute bouquet of my favorite flowers – white roses. He was there to congratulate me on passing my last exam of the semester. The professor would send us results by the end of the week, but according to Jaemin, there was no chance I’d fail it.

“I still don’t get it how you do it,” Jaemin mused, scratching his temple, trying to put two and two together. “I hardly ever see you study, but then, you panic before an exam only to nail it later on. What kind of black magic is this?” He wondered, and I giggled, unable to explain my poor studying technique. I just winged it last minute every single time in my academic career.

“You better be right about this one,” I replied, still anxious about my grade. I didn’t manage to answer all of the questions, so a passing grade would be a relief. “I’m craving pasta. Do you want t go on a celebratory date?”

“You’re reading my mind,” Jaemin said, grabbing my hand, leading me to our favorite restaurant.

On Wednesday, Jaemin invited me to a bowling alley. Every month he would visit the establishment with his friends. Only on rare occasions, their significant others were invited. None of them could really commit to a serious relationship, so it never became a repetitive custom of their group.

“You guys are disgusting,” Haechan whined after our turn. Jaemin and I were losing by an enormous margin, but we didn’t mind. We were having fun despite a low score. “But at least, we’re winning,” Haechan added, pointing at Chenle and himself.

“I am the winner here,” Jaemin boldly announced, giving my hand a light squeeze, making me almost spit my soda.

Everybody cringed at Jaemin’s bold corny statement.

“I second that,” Haechan mused, looking away from Jaemin. “She’s bearable, and you are just absolutely repulsive,” he corrected himself, and I chuckled. Never in my entire life, I thought I would agree on something with Haechan, but this moment occurred right then.

On Thursday, although my schedule was packed with work, Jaemin insisted on hanging out. Tired out of my mind, I let Jaemin inside the apartment. He was carrying Mexican takeout; I couldn’t send him back home. Not when he had goodies.

“What do you want to watch?” I asked as I handed him the remote, allowing him to choose the movie. I was going to pass out anyway, so he might’ve as well picked something he liked.

“Anything is good,” he answered as he unwrapped his quesadilla, taking a bite off of it.

“The Notebook it is then,” I teased, but since Jaemin didn’t stop me, I put it on.

Having eaten my portion of a delicious meal, I lay down on the couch, resting my head on Jaemin’s thighs. I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep. Only when the credits were rolling down on the screen, Jaemin shook me awake.

“When did you fall asleep?” Jaemin inquired, a little bit mad that I forced him to watch the ultimate romantic movie of the twenty-first century. It was toxic as hell, and the way their behavior got romanticized didn’t sit right with me.

“As soon as I lay down,” I answered honestly, as I rolled around, staring at Jaemin’s handsome face. “How did you like the movie?” I asked innocently, swiftly changing the topic. It was for the better if Jaemin didn’t find out I paid no attention to the film. Instead of a great viewing experience, it was just a mere background noise that lulled me to sleep.

“I didn’t,” Jaemin whined, tapping his foot against the floor, making me sit up instantly. “It was toxic and sad at the same time. Noah was a manipulative jerk, and Allie was moody as fuck. The only bright side of their relationship is that they ended up with each other, not ruining other people’s lives,” Jaemin spoke the truth, and I couldn’t agree more. “In conclusion, give me my 2 hours back,” he added, and I hit him with a cushion.

Unable to comprehend what I just did, Jaemin blinked in confusion. Then, a few seconds later, he smirked and grabbed another cushion, ready to fight back.

Unfortunately, our childish antics were interrupted by Jiwoo. She was hanging out with Yuta, studying for the exam they had to retake the next day. To be completely honest, she couldn’t have any worse timing. While watching a movie was explainable, it wasn’t the case when it came to an impromptu pillow fight.

“Should I come back later, or something?” Jiwoo asked, pointing at the doors, willing to leave if it meant for me to get laid.

“Nah, Jaemin’s leaving. I am trying to kick him out, actually,” I announced, sticking my tongue out.

On Friday, Jaemin and I planned on going to the arcade. Unfortunately, we had to raincheck that. One of Jaemin’s coworkers fell sick, and Jaemin had to take a double shift at the coffee shop in his neighborhood.

I already had canceled my other plans to hang out with Jaemin, so I didn’t really want to stay at home all by myself. It was a Friday night, after all. Surprising him at work seemed like a better idea. His friends liked hanging out there; therefore, it must’ve been an excellent excuse for a little bit of acting in order to keep up appearances.

Quickly, I assembled a cute outfit and put on light make-up.

About an hour before the closing, I entered the coffee shop. Except for a few students with their noses in their computers, the establishment was empty.

“Welcome to–,” Jaemin hollered, ready to welcome the customers. “Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here?” He asked as a wide smile spread across his face, enjoying my surprise.

“I just came to surprise you,” I confessed, though none of us paid enough attention to the gravity of my words. I genuinely wanted to hang out Jaemin him as his girlfriend. “And I also wanted to get some discounted goodies. What do you have left?” I asked, looking over his shoulder, trying to see what food didn’t sell yet. An hour before the closing, everything on the menu was discounted by seventy percent, and I just couldn’t walk past that kind of deal.

“You’re not the only one who came for cheap stuff,” Jaemin commented as he saw Haechan and Renjun on the other side of the doors. “Take a seat, I’ll bring you your favorite,” he added, and I smiled at him, walking to the booth by the window.

Having finished my Greek sandwich, I focused on my cup of tea. I was scrolling through social media feed, giggling whenever I stumbled upon a funny meme. It was a perfect evening; complete relaxation in the rhythm of soft foreign jazz music playing through speakers, Jaemin checking up on me once every a couple of minutes.

“Oh, hi, there,” Haechan hollered as soon as he noticed me. He must’ve been returning to his table from a restroom. “I didn’t realize you’re here. What’s up?” We weren’t close, so his question was more like a polite generic statement rather than genuine curiosity.

“I’m waiting for Jaemin to finish, so we can hang out at my place,” I answered, hoping Haechan would get the suggestive tone.

“Actually, there’s something you should know,” he said quietly, looking around, probably checking if Jaemin was within earshot. “I am so ashamed it happened, but I really have to tell you something,” Haechan added, and I couldn’t wait for him to reveal the secret.

Haechan was playing dirty. He wanted to tell me about the bet, ruining Jaemin’s chance at getting me to sleep with him. It was some top-tier double-crossing, and I found it impressive. I had no clue Haechan had it in him.

“We shouldn’t have done it. I don’t know why we even agreed to this,” Haechan added, scratching the back of his head, trying to sound genuinely regretful. “I think Jaemin’s not genuine about the thing you have going on. You see, we made a bet. He has to have sex with you, or else he owes Chenle 500 bucks.”

“What?!” I exclaimed, hoping my consternation was believable. At first, I felt the temptation to say something along, yeah, I know, what’s new, but then I decided to play along. It was actually a good idea to make it seem like Jaemin’s about to lose the bet. Knowing them, they wouldn’t call it off. If anything, Jaemin could double the stakes. “No, it can’t be true. Jaemin would never –“

Now, it was my cue to make a scene. Hopefully, it would play out exactly like in my impromptu prediction.

Reaching the stage of fake hysteria, I rose from my seat and stormed to Jaemin. He was energetically wiping off the tables, wanting to leave shortly after the last customer.

“Is that true? Did you really make a bet you can have sex with me?” I yelled at him through gritted teeth. Jaemin, on the other hand, was confused as fuck. “Did you really think you could get away with it? You disgust me!” I shouted, slapping his cheek. “Don’t ever call me again,” I added before I turned on my heel, storming out of the coffee shop.

Being the only employee at work, Jaemin couldn’t run after me.

Jaemin deserved an explanation. I had to fill him in on my wonderful plan before he would blow it in front of Renjun and Haechan.

my love 💖 | 20:46 | play along

my love 💖 | 20:46 | trust me

my love 💖 | 20:47 | kick them out pls

baNANA  🍓  | 20:47 | wtf???

baNANA 🍓  | 20:48 | that hurt

baNANA 🍓  | 20:48 | I didn’t have to kick them out

baNANA  🍓 | 20:49 | they ran out a few seconds after you

my love 💖 | 20:49 | good

baNANA 🍓  | 20:49 | what the hell is going on???

baNANA  🍓  | 20:50 | I am confused

my love 💖 | 20:50 | Haechan ‘told’ me about the bet

my love 💖 | 20:50 | he wanted to double cross you

baNANA  🍓  | 20:51 | what???

my love 💖 | 20:51 | so the plan is

my love 💖 | 20:51 | they know you don’t stand a chance

my love 💖 | 20:51 | so you double the stakes

my love 💖 | 20:52 | and then bam! we win double the money

baNANA  🍓  | 20:52 | wow

baNANA  🍓  | 20:52 | you’re a genius

my love 💖 | 20:53 | I know

my love 💖 | 20:53 | and since I’m acting like I’m not talking to you

my love 💖 | 20:53 | bye 

my love 💖 | 20:54 | see you @ the party!

 ***

Everything went according to my plan. The guys thought I was pissed with Jaemin, while Jaemin still tried to convince them he stands a chance to court me. It was kind of ironic, they wanted to play me, but it was them getting played.

Together with Jiwoo and Ten, we came extra early to Jaehyun’s party. Still being stuck in friendzone, Jiwoo went out of her way to help him out. Today it meant setting up all types of decorations all over the fraternity house and preparing different kinds of snacks.

Around seven, an Uber pulled up in front of our building. Not to brag, but despite the limited amount of time, we managed to dress up to the nines.

I decided to keep it simple. My outfit consisted of a pair of skinny high-waisted black jeans, a long-sleeved sequin embellished crop top, and a pair of ankle-high boots.

Jiwoo, on the other hand, was wearing a two-piece baby pink dress and a pair of massive mid-thigh black leather platform combat boots. She looked fierce, like a weird baby of 90’s Britney Spears and Marilyn Mason.

Though Ten’s outfit looked the most effortless, it took him longer than us to put it together. Having thrown every single thing from his closet on the bed, Ten experienced a mild crisis. Even though he looked gorgeous in everything, he didn’t seem to believe us. Only after the off-hand intervention, he agreed to play it cool with a pair of ripped jeans, a black shirt with three top buttons left untouched, and an oversized leather jacket.

Once we arrived at Jaehyun’s fraternity, nothing was ready. Thankfully, it wasn’t my problem. Jiwoo was the one who volunteered to help out. Ten and I were about to vibe in the corner, letting other people arrange the place according to Jaehyun’s vision.

Trying our best not to disturb others, Ten and I watched the way the smelly fraternity sex mansion turned into a festive valentine’s manor.

“I hope she’s gonna get laid today,” I whispered into Ten’s ear, looking at Jiwoo working like a busy bee around the house.

“She better; that’s really painful to look at,” Ten agreed, looking a little bit disappointed. Jiwoo was at Jaehyun’s beck and call, and it was about time he acknowledged her feelings.

Around nine o’clock, it was getting a little bit crowded.

Music was blasting through the speakers. Some of the fratboys were already looking for their next conquest. Girls were dancing on a makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living area, suggestively swaying their hips, teasing whoever was watching with their sexy moves.

Later on, when I was in the middle of my fourth drink of the night, Jaemin finally showed up. Together with Haechan, Jeno, Renjun, and Chenle, they walked through the threshold. They all looked great, but Jaemin stood out in the crowd. After all, he was the only one to put on a suit jacket over his white T-shirt. While the rest rocked the comfortable outfits, Jaemin opted for a more elegant look.

Almost as if he wanted to impress someone. Or at least, apologize properly, trying every sly trick to make me forgive him.

Upon entrance, his eyes searched me in the crowd, and when he met my gaze, a smile stretched across his face. Shyly, he raised his hand, wanting to wave at me, but since I stubbornly turned my head around, playing my role of offended woman, he lowered it.

“I’ve seen an ATM on our way here,” Renjun commented, knowing Jaemin didn’t stand a chance of winning the bet.

“It won’t be necessary,” Jaemin replied, following me with his gaze. “I didn’t lose it yet,” he added, and the guys laughed at him. There was no way he still thought he could woo me. “I still have a few hours left; I am not going to give up.”

“You’re such a loser,” Jeno interjected as regret washed through him. Although he didn’t actively participate when the bet was placed, he didn’t oppose it. He was an idle bystander, allowing other people to ruin our friendship. It didn’t sit right with him, but it was too late. The damage was already done, and Jaemin was going to embarrass himself even further. “She doesn’t deserve any of this.”

“It’s not like that,” Jaemin started, but he refused to explain how exactly it was like.

“You’re still gonna fail,” Haechan added with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. Back at the coffee shop, he ruined Jaemin’s chance for success. “Hey there, beautiful,” Haechan spoke when his attention was snatched by one of the girls who walked past them.

Once the boys divided to greet other friends, Jaemin strolled to the kitchen. I was there, and he needed to initiate the first step of our plan.

Sincere apology.

“Can we talk?” Jaemin whispered as he reached out to grab my hand, interrupting my conversation with Ten and Yeri. “Let me explain. You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to listen to me,” he asked, and I unwillingly complied, letting him lead me toward an abandoned corner in the living area. No one could hear us talk, but at the same time, everybody could see us.

“What do you want, Jaemin,” I barked, folding my arms across my chest, startling myself with how good I managed to behave like an angry ex-girlfriend. Though it was my last semester, maybe I should change my major to professional acting.

“Wow. You’re too good at this,” Jaemin commented before he proceeded with his part. “Anyway, I made this card for you. I hope it finds you well,” he announced before he pulled an envelope out of the inner pocket of his suit jacket.

Cautiously, I took the valentine’s card out of the envelope. Once I saw the front page, I couldn’t help but laugh. Jaemin must’ve done it himself, or he stole it from Jeno’s four-year-old niece. It was all covered in hearty stickers and glitter.

Jaemin definitely wasn’t a poet. He had never stood next to one, either.

Instead of a heartfelt apology and love confession, there was a short corny message which simultaneously made me cringe and chuckle.

Are you a ba-NANA? Cause I find you a-peeling.

From Your Love

P.S. it’s from me, your Jaemin

“You’ve really outdone yourself,” I spoke, shaking my head, trying my best not to grin. I was supposed to hate him, but it was too difficult. “I am gonna walk away now. Approach me once you raise the stakes.”

Although I didn’t want to party without Jaemin by my side, it was what I had to do. Having sent him a faint smile, I turned around and walked away, giving Jaemin some time to initiate part two of our plan.

Having drunk a few fancy shots Ten had made for me, we hit the dance floor. At first, we just jumped in the rhythm. However, when the DJ played the song we had practiced at the dance studio, everybody stepped to the side, making enough room to let us perform the choreography.

With alcohol coursing in my system, my moves weren’t as precise as usual – they still earned a round of applause.

“Hey, hey, hey, are you having fun?” Drunk as a skunk, Jaehyun shouted through the microphone connected to the DJ’s console. “How about we slow up the tempo?” Jaehyun yelled, and everybody cheered, making a lot of noise. “Tonight’s the love festival, and I, the valentine’s boy, specifically request every find a person to slow dance with.”

Having set the microphone aside, Jaehyun pushed DJ away from the console, putting on his Cigarettes After Sex playlist. The first song which graced our ears was Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You.

“Can I have this dance?” Jaemin appeared out of nowhere by my side, extending his hand for me to take. “Please?” He looked into my eyes, waiting for my response, looking hopeful.

As soon as I nodded, Jaemin grabbed my hand and gently pulled me against his firm body, resting his left hand on my back, holding me still, making sure I’d not run away. With my head resting against his chest, we swayed slowly, getting lost in our little world.

“They think I am a terrible person,” Jaemin whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my skin. “They seriously think I’d try to ruin our friendship with this bet,” he carried on, and I hummed, taking an inhale, getting hit with Jaemin’s musky cologne.

The boys truly underestimated the power of our friendship. Jaemin and I told each other almost everything. It was bold of them to assume I had no idea about the bet.

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied as I had closed my eyes, getting lost in the moment. “Everything will come back to normal soon enough,” I added, trying to ignore the bittersweet taste of my statement. Our fake relationship had an expiration date, and it was near.

“You’re right. Everything will come back to normal,” Jaemin repeated my words as he rested his chin on top of my head, pulling me even closer. “You’re the best fake girlfriend I’ve ever had,” he added, pressing an innocent peck against my hairline.

“How many fake girlfriends have you had?” I asked, chuckling, sounding a bit jealous.

“Anyway,” Jaemin started, trying to change the subject. “The guys took the bait. And now, judging by the stupid looks on their faces, they’re shitting their pants.”

“Once the song is over, we should initiate the third phase of our plan,” I commented, wanting to be over with this. In about a minute, I was about to pull Jaemin out of the dance floor and lead him to the bathroom upstairs, where we would do the deed.

When another song from Jaehyun’s playlist echoed in the room, all the other couples kept dancing. Jaemin and I, on the other hand, were about to not so discreetly sneak upstairs.

Unfortunately, we met an obstacle on our path.

It was Jaehyun, pointing his phone at our faces.

“It’s a kiss cam. Do what you gotta do,” he spoke, and I creased my forehead in utter confusion. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was a kiss cam? It was a frat party, not a baseball match. Didn’t he have a beer pong championship to win or something?

“What?”

“Do I really have to explain this to everyone? Jesus,” Jaehyun complained, taking a deep sigh, trying to ease his irritation. “It’s Valentine’s day! I am Valentine’s boy! And this is a kiss cam. You kiss, and I take pictures,” he explained, but I wasn’t convinced. “Hurry up! I have to take like 50 more of them.”

At first, I didn’t want to do it. But then, a thought crossed my mind. Who would believe Jaemin and I had sex if I refused to give him a kiss. It was just one kiss; it wouldn’t hurt.

Having licked my lips, I smiled at Jaemin before I wrapped my hands around his neck, giving him a chaste smooch. It lasted maybe a few seconds, but it still made me uneasy. Even if it was just a brief peck, it was too much for my poor heart.

“What the fuck was that?” Jaehyun groaned in disappointment. “One more time, guys. That’s how you kiss your mother, not your girlfriend. You can do better.”

“Show him how it’s done, Jaemin,” I encouraged him, giving him permission to assault my lips, hoping it would happen to be one hell of a performance.

Having smirked, Jaemin leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against mine. Cautiously, he deepened the kiss, knocking the air out of my lungs, making my legs shake under my weight. His hands held my chin in place as his tongue slipped through my lips.

Out of a sudden, nothing else mattered. Jaemin and I were in our bubble, and despite it being a one-time thing, I wished it lasted forever. Whatever expectations I had about this moment, it wasn’t even close to reality.

Jaehyun cleared his throat, wanting to pull us out of our trance. In vain, though. I moved my lips against Jaemin’s in slow sync, letting the sweet sensation strip me of the last remains of dignity. I was to savor every second of it, basking in bliss.

“Ekhem,” Jaehyun grunted, starting to feel a little bit flustered. “You guys done?”

Once we broke apart to take a breath, Jaehyun spoke again.

“Have you seen Jiwoo, by the way?”

“Yeah, I think she went for a smoke with Lucas,” I answered casually, watching panic display on Jaehyun’s face. It was evident he didn’t fancy the newfound information. “She went outside like half an hour ago, though. I wonder what it takes them so long,” I added, planting another grain of doubt in his subconscious.

As soon as anxiety downed on him, Jaehyun bolted outside. He better, though. If Jaehyun wasn’t going to make a move on Jiwoo tonight, I was about to find another guy to ship her with.

“You did it again,” Jaemin pointed out, and I just shrugged, dismissing his comment. So what? One push in the right direction wasn’t enough for Jaehyun to grow up, so I decided to be generous enough to give him a second chance.

“Are you ready for phase three?” I asked Jaemin, but before he managed to reply, I grabbed his hand, pulling him across the dance floor. Giggling, I ran through the sea of people, not so accidentally bumping into Chenle, almost spilling his beer.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” I hollered, giggling. Now, when I had Chenle’s attention, we could sneak upstairs to proceed with the final step of our plan. “Come on, Jaemin, let’s go. I am horny,” I added, probably overdoing my part. Unfortunately, the words were already spoken. I couldn’t take them back.

Having locked the bathroom doors behind us, I jumped onto the countertop. “Don’t you think it’s a bit creepy they’re gonna eavesdrop on us bang? It’s kinda off-putting, you know…”

When Jaemin wanted to speak, somebody knocked on the doors. It must’ve been one of Jaemin’s friends, checking if we were indeed fucking. “It’s occupied,” Jaemin hollered, mentioning for me to start my performance.

“Fuck, Jaemin! Eat me out, already,” I yelled, pressing my hands against my mouth, trying to stifle my laugher. This situation was ridiculous, and I couldn’t help myself but giggle. I had only a few drinks, yet I felt like I was high as a kite. “Yes, like that! Ahhh…”

“Can’t wait to fuck that tight hole,” Jaemin played along, almost dying of alcohol-induced tittering. We were definitely having too much fun.

“Right there, Jaemin!” I screamed, holding my stomach as it began aching due to excessive cackling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, right there,” I moaned loudly, kicking my head back. “Don’t tease me, please!”

“I gotta get you ready for my cock, love,” Jaemin growled, and I gasped, my mind conjuring the forbidden image®.

“Just fuck me! I need your cock inside of me now!” I groaned, hoping whoever was on the other side of the doors heard enough of what was going inside. “Mmmm… you stretch me out so well…” I purred, almost falling off the counter when another round of uncontrollable laughter tried to erupt from my throat.

“Fuck, you’re still so tight.”

“Jaemin! Fuck, I am close. Keep going,” I yelled, mentally preparing for the big finale. This whole act was a vocal performance, and it was time I finished. “I’m coming! Come with me!”

“It was spectacular,” Jaemin whispered so only I could hear him. “I have one more favor, though,” he added, shying away. Oh no, he was about to ask about something stupid.

“What is it?”

“It could’ve been some random dude,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head, unsure how to voice his supplication. “Give me your panties. It’ll be the definite proof.”

“You’re joking,” I deadpanned, staring into his eyes, waiting for him to say it was just a harmless prank. “You’re serious,” I added as soon as I realized Jaemin meant it.

“Come on, I won’t be sniffing them,” Jaemin nagged, and I rolled my eyes. I didn’t even think about it, but now that he mentioned it, I had another reason not to comply with his weird-ass request. “I’ll give them back, I promise.”

“I can’t believe I am considering this,” I cursed under my breath. If any other person would like such a favor from me, I’d deny it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I had a soft spot for Jaemin, so denying him didn’t come easy to me.

Hell, I wouldn’t be here if I was able to say no to him.

“You owe me big time,” I caved in, jumping off the countertop, stepping behind the shower curtain, providing myself with some privacy. “Don’t peek. Even if I slip, you gotta stay on the other side. Got it?” I added as I stuck my head through the curtain.

“Scout’s honor,” Jaemin pledged, and I rolled my eyes. He was a scout for maybe a week. His honor didn’t mean shit.

Clumsily, I took off my shoes and jeans. “Here,” I warned before I threw my panties over the curtain. “I am too sober for this,” I nagged, trying to put my skinny jeans back on.

“Let’s do celebratory shots!” Jaemin suggested, balling up my undergarments, hiding them in his pocket. “We deserve it,” he added, landing me a helping hand when I was stepping out of the shower.

“Let’s go.”

***

Needless to say, Jaemin won the bet.

Unfortunately, it meant the inevitable end of our fake relationship. It was fun when it lasted, and though I’d miss these times, it was time to set the record straight.

As we had discussed, we had to arrange our break up.

Sometime next week, Jaemin stopped by to give me half of the prize. Since the boys had been stupid enough to fall for our little charade, I received a large sum of money. It was Chenle who sponsored the prize. Because of that, I didn’t feel particularly sorry about deceiving them. After all, Chenle was so loaded; he wouldn’t notice if he lost that kind of money on the street. I could finally buy these shoes which I had been dreaming of for so long! Better yet, I'd still have some money left to spoil myself some more.

“How should we do it?” Jaemin asked quietly. Ever since he came, he avoided my gaze, staring at the floor.

“I don’t know,” I unwillingly answered. This conversation was the last thing I wanted to do right now, but it had to be done. Better sooner or later, before I’d catch some real feelings for Jaemin. I had no idea how I would pick up the pieces of my broken heart if we kept this act any longer. “Let’s just delete all posts we published. Someone will figure out something’s wrong, and when they spread the word, we’ll explain we decided to remain friends.”

Maybe I wasn’t in tears, but I felt regret wash through me. Though our relationship had never been a real thing, it felt like it.

And it hurt.

“Alright then,” Jaemin complied, rubbing his hands against his thighs before he pulled out his phone to erase any digital footprint of our brief romance. His thumb hovered over the delete button for a while. After a few moments of hesitation, when he didn’t hear any sign of protest from my side, he pressed it, sending our memories to a bottomless void. “And it’s gone.”

“Are we cool?” I asked, hoping that nothing would change between us. I had a hunch it would take me some time to get used to how things had been before the relationship fiasco. Nonetheless, I still had hope we could remain best friends without any awkwardness.

“Of course,” Jaemin answered with a faint smile, but I didn’t fully believe him. Something was off, and it bothered us. Shame that none of us dared to begin this topic.

After he left that day, we saw each other very seldom. We barely even spoke to one another. If it wasn’t for the group chats we were both in, we wouldn’t talk at all.

Jaemin had said we were cool, but it was evident we weren’t.

It was eating me from the inside out, but whenever somebody asked me about the break-up, I’d always shrug it off, confirming everything’s great. I would tell our friends nothing changed between us. There was nothing wrong; our schedules are just incompatible these days.

When I had pretended I was in a relationship with Jaemin, it was easy. It came naturally, and everyone ate it up without any second thoughts. Unfortunately, now, when I was trying to play it cool, no one seemed to buy it. Thankfully, they didn’t confront me about it. Instead, they offered me their support if I ever needed anything.

In my head, I had a few wild scenarios in which I tell Jaemin we should date for real. However, at the same time, a little devil on my shoulder was telling me it should never leave the realm of fantasy. It’s ridiculous to think Jaemin would reciprocate my feelings.

I felt as if sadness took over my body. Though I was smiling on the outside, I was filled with regret. Barely anything sparked joy these gloomy days. Even this pair of shoes, which I wanted so badly, didn’t stir any positive emotion. I bought them, but I never took them out of the box.

Jiwoo had taken me out on a few girls’ nights to make me feel better. Men are trash – she would always say when Jaehyun ignored her yet another text. Even though they had fucked each other at Jaehyun’s birthday party and agreed to become exclusive, Jaehyun still had lots of problems committing to a monogamous relationship. They hadn’t officially labeled it, but everyone knew Jaehyun was slowly caving in.

Fratboys’ habits die hard, but Jaehyun was finally shaping himself into boyfriend material. He no longer slept around, as far to my knowledge at least, but he still lacked in some departments. For instance, it would take him way too much to text back.

“You were so adorable together,” Jiwoo began after she gulped down another rum and coke. Despite her high alcohol tolerance, she was already drunk, speaking with no filter. “I mean… you were simping for him for so long, and you finally managed to jump that dick.”

“Your point being…” I inquired, finishing my drink. Though Jaemin and I had never had sex, I didn’t want to admit that. What would Jiwoo thought if I told her it was all-pretend?

“I shipped you guys so hard,” Jiwoo confessed. “Ten shipped you too, but he will never admit that,” she added, and I giggled. Now, that was an interesting take. Ten was so random at many aspects of life; it came to me as a surprise he even had an opinion on my relationship with Jaemin. “Can I just take some duck tape and put my ship back together?”

“I am not sure Jaemin would like that,” I answered with a sigh, my mood instantly decreasing.

“Nonsense,” Jiwoo replied in a heartbeat. “This guy is even worse than you,” she revealed, and I rolled my eyes, not buying this. At least a few times a week, at my lowest moments, I happened to check Jaemin’s social media updates. He didn’t seem to mope around at all.

“I find it hard to believe,” I muttered, trying not to get too emotional.

“I mean it,” Jiwoo confirmed her previous statement, eager to explain her thesis. “Jaehyun and I went on a little date to the coffee shop where Jaemin works,” she started, and I nodded, not really sure what she was getting at. Nonetheless, I let her continue. I was curious what Jaemin had been up to. And since he didn’t seem to want to tell me anything himself, I’d accept any type of second-hand information from Jiwoo. “Jaemin misses you. You have no idea how many times I caught him daydreaming. He still has your photo set on his lock screen, and he stares at it a lot.”

Now, that’s interesting.

I had no recollection of Jaemin ever setting my photo as his background picture. Even if Jiwoo was right, it meant he set after we had broken up. It made no sense at all, and I was too drunk to try to comprehend the meaning of this.

Instead, I ordered another round, trying to stifle all the brooding emotions within me.

***

February was the month of parties. Too many birthdays fell during this hectic period, and I had trouble keeping up with them. Fortunately, Ten’s party was the last one of the month. After a small get together at our place, I’d have some time off to relax by myself, most preferably, without alcohol.

Being the semi-hosts with Jiwoo, it was our duty to help Ten organize everything regarding his party. Though our trio was a little bit disorganized, somehow, we managed to get everything ready before anyone arrived.

Maybe it wasn’t comparable to birthday parties at fraternity houses; it still had its charm. It wasn’t as wild, but guests still were having a great time in the company of their closest friends. However, what was the most important, Ten had a blast.

It was his day; he deserved everything he wanted.

Trying my best not to embarrass Ten, I decided to socialize with his friends.

It was time I move on. It took me way too long to mourn a relationship that wasn’t even real. I couldn’t let my brooding mood ruin the party.

“Hmm… Ten has never mentioned you before,” I confessed, not finding it particularly odd. Ten didn’t have secretive nature; he just wasn’t the type of person to over-share. And he often forgot to even mention stuff about his personal life.

“I can’t say I am surprised,” Hendery replied, making me giggle. It was fun chatting with him. Hendery was hilarious, and he knew many secrets regarding Ten. It was my mission to get as much information from him as it was possible. I would need it for blackmailing purposes, of course.

Hiding out in the kitchen, we sipped beer and exchanged rumors as if we were two gossip girls. It was too entertaining to stop. I was incredibly immersed in the conversation; I didn’t even realize when someone tapped my shoulder.

“Can we talk?” I heard the question, recognizing the voice in an instant. It belonged to Jaemin, and it seemed to be laced with both jealousy and irritation. The way he phased his plea gave me flashbacks of the conversation we had at Jaehyun’s party.

I really wanted to continue my discussion with Hendery, but I couldn’t say no to Jaemin. It wasn’t how my brain was programmed. Besides, I missed him a lot.

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” I told Hendery before I grabbed Jaemin’s hand, leading him to my room, locking the doors behind us.

“Nothing was supposed to change,” Jaemin started as he sat at the edge of my bed, leaning forward with his upper body propped on his elbows. His gaze was trained on the floor, too frustrated to look up at me.

“I know,” I whispered as I sat down in my chair on the other side of the room. My first instinct was to kneel in front of Jaemin, kiss his forehead, and assure him that everything’s going to be alright.

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like a good idea, so I refrained from doing so. “I am sorry, it’s my fault.”

“Don’t,” Jaemin interjected before I embarrassed myself even further. “We’re both at fault.”

Despite the loud party noises coming from the other side of the doors, my bedroom was filled with deafening silence. It was awfully uncomfortable, and it was probably a good thing. One of us would get annoyed eventually and cave in, letting out all the bottled up emotions.

“I missed you,” I admitted, staring at my hands. I was all fidgety, and although I was too embarrassed to reveal my inner feelings, Jaemin deserved to know this much.

“I missed you, too,” he genuinely confessed, showing me a shy smile. “Actually, I missed you more than I thought it was possible to miss a person,” Jaemin carried on, and I held my breath, not ready to hear whatever he had to say. “You have no idea how much I wanted to text you or call you, but ultimately decided not to because I was sure you don’t want me to.”

“Jaemin,” I spoke, not really sure what I should say next. I had too many things I wanted to tell him about. However, now when he was here, I couldn’t properly voice my thoughts.

“Are you dating this guy you were talking to in the kitchen?” Jaemin asked out of the blue, catching me off guard with this random accusation. “Or do you want to date him? You two looked like you’re having a great time together,” he added, and I rolled my eyes. At first, Jaemin acted on his jealously, but then, insecurity crept in.

“I don’t know. I met Hendery today, but he seems like a great guy,” I answered honestly, thinking of possibilities of me trying to pursing something of romantic nature with Hendery. After our brief encounter, I could tell he’s fun to be around. And honestly speaking, I might’ve considered dating him if I hadn’t already had feelings for someone else.

Unfortunately, right now, I wasn’t in the right state of mind to date. Not when I was still hung up on my best friend.

“I probably won’t, though. I like somebody else,” I confessed, gaining Jaemin’s interest. Instantly, he sat up, staring into my eyes, patiently waiting for the reveal. “I am stupid, but I like this one guy. He’s such a jerk, I can’t even… he’s been ghosting me for weeks now,” I carried on, hoping Jaemin would get the hint.

Two weeks ago, we promised each other nothing would change. Despite our good intentions, it did. Even though I hadn’t told Jaemin how I really felt, I still lost my best friend.

My silence didn’t save this friendship. I tried to bottle up my emotions to secure our unbreakable bond. It didn’t work, so I figured confessing my feelings wouldn’t do any more harm. Surely, Jaemin was going to reject me, but at least, I’d clear the air between us.

Hopefully, my confession, followed by a harsh rejection, would help me move on.

Instantly, Jaemin ran up to my chair and knelt in front of me, trying to look into my eyes. “Please tell me this jerk is me,” Jaemin urgently spoke, unable to handle any more suspense. Jaemin’s gaze was hopeful, and it was too much for me to comprehend.

“What?” I asked, still being overwhelmed by confusion. What was going on? Why was Jaemin on his knees in front of me? Nothing made sense. How was I supposed to wrap my head around it? “I mean… yeah, it’s you. Who else could it be?”

“You have no idea how sorry I am,” Jaemin confessed as he grabbed my hand and yanked me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a tight hug. “You could’ve said something… anything,” he added as he pulled back his head, placing a chase kiss against my forehead.

“I didn’t want to scare you away,” I admitted quietly, unable to break free from Jaemin’s cone-crashing embrace. I couldn’t believe he was so close. Na Jaemin was holding me in his arms, letting me listen to his rapid heartbeat.

“The worst two weeks of my life,” Jaemin spoke, once again breaking the silence. “It felt at least like two centuries,” he added, making me chuckle. Of course, it was an exaggeration, but it’s how I felt, too.

“How about we start over?” I proposed, taking a step backward to have a proper look at him. “Will you go on a date with me? This time around for real, no pretending,” I carried on, trying not to grin like an idiot.

“No.”

“What?”

What the fuck was that?

Did I misunderstand Jaemin’s words? I thought he felt the same, but apparently, he didn’t? Everything suggested he followed my flow only to crush my expectations, later on, leaving a big ass scar and more trust issues.

“I mean yes, but I should be me asking you out. Definitely not the other way around,” Jaemin clarified, making me relax. Thankfully, my mini panic attack was uncalled for. It was just my brain over-analyzing everything, conjuring the worst possible scenario.

“Then you better do your best to woo me,” I teased, wondering if he was willing enough to take the bait. It was just a mere joke, reminding me how it all began. He had wooed me once, and I wasn’t going to oppose to a second attempt. “Fun dates, romantic messages, silly gifts. I want it all,” I added, going a little bit overboard with my request list.

“Everything can be arranged,” Jaemin replied with a lopsided smile before he tightened his grip, almost crashing my bones in the process.

***

Jaemin and I began dating. This time around, it was real; no more pretending, no more stupid bets. Just two people who had discovered friendship could never be enough.

Even though I had told Jaemin I was just joking about this whole wooing thing, he refused to accept it, going to extreme lengths to make my heart flutter. I was already stupidly in love with him, yet he kept trying to make me swoon even more.

Despite our busy schedules, we made sure to see each other every day. It could’ve been a date at the arcade or just a quick coffee or a video call. In all honestly, I gladly accepted any form of contact from Jaemin.

I hated the prospect of going through a day without any message from him.

Except for many mini and maxi dates, Jaemin would also spoil me with plenty of encouraging notes of many kinds. Each massage from Jaemin was even sillier from the previous one. He never ceased to amaze me.

At first, Jaemin would stick post-it notes in different places in my room. Whenever I paid no attention, he would quickly write one for me to find it later. Whenever I saw sleep tight message stuck to my bedpost or you looked extra sexy today attached to the mirror, I smiled like an idiot, imaging Jaemin writing it.

If Jaemin forgot about post-it notes, he would always make it up to me by sending me corny direct messages. We would always text each other before sleep, and Jaemin never failed to make me smile with words such as:

If you happen to have wet dreams of me, you gotta tell me everything that happened. We can recreate it later.

I saw some sexy lingerie on my way home. Your ass would look amazing in it. I’m gonna buy it for you when I get my paycheck.

You’re the reason I wake up in the morning. Just kidding, I have to pee.

Whenever we went out, Jaemin would also scribble something either on a napkin or on a receipt. One time, Jaemin even gave a crumbled piece of paper that he was carrying in his pocket for some reason.

You know I’d give you my kidney, right? And a piece of the liver if you ask nicely. I hope you would do the same for me.

When we have kids, I’ll let you name the first one. Don’t fuck it up.

You’re my favorite pain in the ass.

You are stuck with me. You better get used to it.

Messy notes weren’t sufficient for Jaemin. Although I was more than content with the attention and affection he was giving me, it wasn’t enough for Jaemin. With each massage, he had to out-do himself.

Jaemin even wrote me a song! Or at least, he tried to write me a song.  It was really bold of him to assume I didn’t know the lyrics to Jonas Brothers’ Sucker. I loved this song, and even though I perfectly knew it wasn’t Jaemin’s piece of work, I still appreciated the gesture.

Later on, his love letters reached another level of ridiculousness. Jaemin sent me a love e-mail, and if that doesn’t prove how extra he can get, I don’t know what can.

Jaemin didn’t stop there. No, it was just a warm-up.

When I was checking the mailbox, I found a paper plane stuck in between bills. Jaemin must’ve put it there, probably after one of his frequent visits to my apartment. Though the paper plane was a little bit crumbled, I found it incredibly adorable. On its wing, it had “open me” written with Jaemin’s messy handwriting. Inside there was a corny message that turned my insides in absolute cringe.

Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly.

A few days later, Jaemin gave me a CD with the love playlist he had made for me. Carefully, he had chosen our favorite songs and burned them on a disc. I had no means to actually play it, but I adored the gesture.

Jaemin’s creativity did not disappoint. At this point, he might send me a love letter via a fax machine, and I wouldn’t be surprised. There were no limitations to his imagination, and it was one of the many things I loved about him.

Neither of us dropped the L-bomb yet, but we really didn’t need to. Though that dreaded word has yet to be spoken, we perfectly knew how we felt about each other. We would do anything for one another; no doubt in that.

Having exceeded my expectations, Jaemin proved himself worthy of being my boyfriend. Or rather, he showed me he was way out of my league. When he was bending over backward, I was passively basking in the glory of Jaemin’s confessions. Relationships were about giving and taking, and it seemed our balance was off.

It was time we switched roles. It was only fair if I tried to creep my way into his heart the way he had been wooing mine.

As soon as I cleaned up the apartment and pampered myself a little bit, I pulled out my phone, quickly texting Jaemin. Hopefully, he wasn’t that busy.

my love 💖 | 18:12 | U want to come over?

baNANA 🍓 | 18:16 | 😏

baNANA 🍓 | 18:16 | You miss me???

my love 💖 | 18:17 |  🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡

my love 💖 | 18:17 | nvm forget I asked

baNANA 🍓 | 18:17 | 😧 😧 😧

baNANA 🍓 | 18:18 | I’ll be in an hour

baNANA 🍓 | 18:18 | want me to bring anything?

my love 💖 | 18:19 | nah, just get your cute butt over here

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | ?????

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | are you high??

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | should I be concerned?

Okay, I had an hour to prepare something for our impromptu date. It was fine; it was more than enough than I needed. The apartment was already clean, so I just had to whip something to eat and cool the bubbles.

For some reason, I felt in a celebratory mood. Whatever tempo Jaemin and I had, it worked in two week periods. We had fake-dated for fourteen days before we called it quits. Then, we didn’t talk to each other for two weeks. Tonight another period came by, and I wanted to celebrate it, hoping to break the unfortunate chain of bad luck.

The alcohol was already in the refrigerator. Having put on an apron, I opened all the cabinets around the kitchen, quickly analyzing the ingredients and what I can make out of them. It wasn’t much, but pasta would have to be enough.

It wasn’t a fancy dish, but I was made it with love, so Jaemin shouldn’t have any complaints. Pouring my emotions into the pasta was to make it extra flavorful.

When the sauce was slowly cooking on the stove, I decorated the table. I wanted to provide Jaemin with some high-end restaurant experience despite being in my cramped apartment. It was the best thing out of two words; we had all privacy in the world offered by a homely atmosphere, but at the same time, we would eat some beautifully garnished food.

Just when I was about to drain the pasta, someone knocked on the doors.

“Coming,” I hollered before I put the pot in the sink, wiping my hands on the apron before making my way to answer the doors. “Hey there, beautiful,” I greeted Jaemin with a playful remark, standing on my toes to press a brief smooch on his adorable lips. It took him off guard, but in some sense, he liked it.

“Hey, it’s my line,” Jaemin nagged when his hands found purchase on my hips, bringing me closer for another kiss since one was never enough. “What do you have there? It smells delicious,” Jaemin turned his head, trying to peek inside to see what surprise I had prepared for him.

“You know, just some carbs,” I answered vaguely, sending him a playful smirk, not wanting to ruin the surprise. I wanted him to sit down at the table and wait for me to bring the whole dish and pour us some cheap champagne.

Jaemin took off his shoes, kicking them to the side. A second later, he handed me his coat, and I put it on the hanger. Jaemin was wearing a pair of gray jeans and a mint oversized hoodie, and I drooled over this comfortable look. He didn’t have to try hard to impress me.

“Just wait here. I’ll be back in a sec,” I spoke when I guided Jaemin to the table, forcing him to sit down in the chair. Jaemin wanted to help me out in the kitchen, but I firmly refused. Tonight I wished to impress Jaemin; he didn’t have to move a finger.

“I know it’s not much, but I hope you’ll still like it,” I whispered when I put a plate in front of him. “Dig in,” I added as I sat on the other side of the table, carefully trying to pop the champagne bottle open. Though I hated doing it, too afraid of breaking something or hurting someone, tonight I wanted to try it.

“What’s the occasion,” Jaemin wondered as he fondly watched me fight with the bottle. “Do you need some help? You’re gonna hurt yourself,” Jaemin offered, genuinely concerned about my safety. However, I just turned around, wanting to finish it by myself.

It took me good five minutes to pop it. And when I finally did it, Jaemin gave me a round of pitiful applause, officially declaring it’s his job from now on.

“It was just painful to watch,” Jaemin playfully commented, and I kicked his shin under the table, showing him how much appreciated his remark was. “So… what’s the occasion?”

“Do I really need to have a reason to spoil my boyfriend?” I innocently asked, batting my eyelashes, and Jaemin smiled at the word boyfriend. We had never discussed labels, but it was self-explanatory we were in a loving relationship. “I figured it’d be nice to give you some more attention,” I absentmindedly added as I reached for my phone to play some soft EDM music through the Bluetooth speaker.

“Is that it?” Jaemin wondered, gazing into my eyes, searching for any ulterior motive I might have. “Are you sure you’re not trying to butter me up before you say something I may not like? What did you do?” Jaemin inquired, and I chuckled loudly.

“Calm down, Na,” I spoke, making Jaemin look up at me once again. I only called him by his surname when I was extra affectionate, so he was curious what I was going to say. “I just wanted to hang out with you. That’s all,” I confessed, but Jaemin scrutinized his eyes, not really buying my innocent talk. “Okay, fine. There’s one more thing.”

“What is it?” Jaemin inquired, grinning at me.

“Can’t you already tell? I am trying to woo my way into your pants, duh,” I confessed, and Jaemin choked on his champagne as he did not expect this wording. “Your heart! I meant to say into your heart,” I corrected when I realized my little Freudian slip. “Wait, no, screw it. I second that. I want to get into both.”

“You’ve already got into one,” Jaemin declared with a lopsided smirk pinned to his face. “But... if you don’t suspect it already, you’re welcome in both,” he added mischievously, taking a sip of his alcohol. I, on the other hand, looked away, feeling the heat in my cheeks.

“Good to know.”

“Where are Jiwoo and Ten by the way?” Jaemin wondered as he looked around the apartment, finding it suspicious they didn’t crash our date yet. Under typical circumstances, Jiwoo or Ten would haul another chair to the table and steal the food, third-wheeling our date.

“Ten is at the dance studio. He’s having a dance competition next week, so he goes there every time he has some free time to practice. And Jiwoo is with Jaehyun. He came here to pick her up a few hours ago. I don’t think either of them is coming home anytime soon,” I explained, smirking. We had the place to ourselves.

Finally, we could bask in each other’s company without any intrusive guests.

“I’d like to cheers to that,” Jaemin raised his glass, clinking it gently against mine.

Having eaten the food, we moved to the couch.

“What now?” Jaemin asked as he stretched his arm, resting it on the back of the couch right over my shoulders.

“I have one more surprise,” I announced before I jumped to my feet. “Wait a second,” I added before bolting to my bedroom.

“What is it?” Jaemin inquired, having no clue what else I could surprise him with. “What do you have there?” He pressed, tilting his head to the side, trying to see what I was hiding behind my back.

“Let’s take some pictures,” I announced in excitement, showing him my Polaroid camera. “I finally bought some film, and I really want our photo in my wallet,” I added as I plopped down onto the couch, resting my head against Jaemin’s chest. “You take it,” I ordered, handing him the camera. After all, he was the prodigy of photography. Besides, his hands were longer than mine.

“I think that’s more than enough,” Jaemin spoke after snapping the twelfth picture.

Having put the camera on the coffee table, he wrapped his arms around me. Jaemin pulled me on his laps, embracing me tightly, placing a round of pecks against my temple.

“Wait! One more thing,” I hollered, leaning forward to reach for the envelope which was lying on the coffee table next to our photos.

“You can’t say it’s the last thing and then bring another one. That’s not how it works,” Jaemin nagged, a little flustered that I managed to find another excuse when he wanted to cuddle. “Who are you? A fitness instructor? When you say it’s the last one, it should be the last one. You can’t come up with new ones every three minutes.”

“I promise it’s the last one,” I sat cross-legged on the couch beside him, handing him the envelope. Cautiously, he pulled the card out of it, and I looked at him, studying his expression in excitement.

“Annoyingly, I like you way more than I’d originally planned,” Jaemin read the cover of the card, smiling widely at the passive-aggressive message. “It’s already good, and I didn’t even read what you wrote inside,” he commented before he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I don’t get it,” he added in confusion as he saw the blank page inside the card.

“It’s my love letter for you,” I clarified, but Jaemin was still clueless.

“It’s a blank page. You really have that little to say?” Jaemin asked, trying to make sense out of my card.

“That’s not how you were supposed to interpret that!” I yelled, climbing on his laps, wanting to tear the card out of his ungrateful hands. Unfortunately, Jaemin’s hands were longer than mine, so even when I was hovering over his thighs, I couldn’t reach it.

“How was I supposed to interpret that then?” Jaemin challenged, holding my hips, forcing them down on his laps.

“I wanted to write something meaningful, but I just couldn’t decide what. I have so many things I want to tell you, it wouldn’t even fit on the card,” I started, trying to find the best way to form a coherent sentence. “One way to interpret it is that you have to imagine it’s written in a very tiny font. Because I have so much to tell you, I wrote everything down, but you just can’t read it.”

“I like it,” Jaemin whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against my knuckles.

“Or you can say it’s blank because whenever I’m with you, my head is completely empty,” I added, chuckling at the corny confession. “Or you can assume there are no words to describe my feelings for you.”

“How is it possible that without writing anything, you managed to top all of my love letters?” Jaemin wondered, smiling at me. “What kind of sorcery is this?”

“No, Jaemin. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. I loved your love letters. They were silly, but at the same time, I could feel you really meant everything,” I reasoned, looking down at Jaemin’s lips, slowly leaning in for a delicate kiss.

“Okay, I have an idea,” Jaemin suddenly spoke as he grabbed my butt and threw me off his laps. “I need a pen,” he added, looking around the living room, finding the pen on the coffee table. In a hurry, he scribbled down something on the blank page of the card, making sure I couldn’t peek. “Here, I found my way to interpret it.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” Jaemin answered confidently, handing me the card. “Read it out loud for me.”

“Okay, I guess,” I cleared my throat before I opened the card. “My beloved Jaemin,” I read, looking at Jaemin’s face with a raised eyebrow. This was going to be good.

“Carry on,” he urged, and I shook my head, unable to believe I was going to do it.

“You’re the most handsome man I have ever seen. You’re also the smartest and the funniest. Not to mention, you’re the best kisser in the world. What the fuck is this?” I interjected, having doubts, knowing it was a bad idea.

“Just keep reading, babe,” Jaemin ordered, wanting me to carry on with his antics. “Though you’re no poet, it’s, by a huge margin, the best love letter I have ever received,” he added, blowing his ego way out of proportion, and I rolled my eyes.

“Now, when I look at you, I understand there’s not a chance I wouldn’t fall for you. So, since there’s not much space left, I just wanna tell you that I love you. I really love you, Jaemin.”

Before I managed to complain that he forced me to say the L-word first, Jaemin interjected.

“Finally, took you long enough,” he teased, and I sighed, wondering where to hit him first. “As if you haven’t figured it out yet, I love you, too.”

“You’re impossible,” I commented, still not quite sure if we just confessed to each other.

“I’m impossible not to fall in love with,” Jaemin corrected, once again hauling me back on his laps, taking my breath away with a fervent kiss. “How about you show me how you want to get into my pants, babe?”

Having had enough of Jaemin’s teasing, I decided not to comply with his request.

“I think you should go.”

“You’re right,” Jaemin agreed too quickly, and it made me alert. “Let’s go to your room because once I start pounding into you, I will not stop even if a group of nuns was about to break in and steal all of your shit,” he added as he picked me up, carrying me to my bedroom.

“You’re impossible,” I repeated my words when Jaemin threw me onto my bed before he landed on it right beside me.

“I think we’ve already discussed this,” he remarked, reminding me of the remark he had given me earlier. “So… where were we?” Jaemin asked as he put his hand on my side, pulling me closer. Soon enough, his palm slipped under the hem of my shirt, caressing my skin.

“Is it weird that the only thing I can think about is you eating me out?” I wondered out loud, stripped of all remains of dignity. Jaemin was in my bed, and I was planning on taking full advantage of it.

“Not at all, love,” Jaemin replied, showing me his eager smile. Quickly, he sat on his calves between my legs, taking his time to take off my jeans. “I thought about eating you out way too often ever since that thing in the bathroom,” Jaemin confessed as he threw my jeans across the room.

Though my panties were still on, Jaemin began his teasing. His soft lips trailed across my thighs, driving me crazy. His lips touched every inch of my skin except for the area I wanted the most. At this point, my panties were dripping wet, yet he didn’t even think of pulling them to the side, giving attention to my much-ignored core.

“You’re killing me,” I whispered, slowly losing patience. If Jaemin kept up with his antics, I’d combust out of sexual frustration. “Bold of you to assume I won’t let you taste your own medicine,” I warned Jaemin. It worked because as soon as I voiced my mischievous threat, Jaemin’s finger hooked under the hem of my panties, quickly pulling them down my legs.

“You’re no fun at all,” Jaemin clarified before his lips finally landed on my clit, making me buckle my hips in an instant. Slowly, his mouth moved against my sweet spot, and I arched my back with each swirl of his tongue.

Though he barely started, I could feel the electricity coursing through my body. In my state of permanent frustration, it wouldn’t be difficult for Jaemin to make me come against his mouth.

Getting into it, Jaemin squeezed my hips, trying to keep me still when he ate me out. His jaw was dripping in my juices as he made his way down to lick my folds.

“Fuck,” I moaned loudly when Jaemin’s nose rubbed my clit when he was running his tongue all over my entrance. “I think I am gonna come,” I admitted what made Jaemin smirk through the kiss. Jaemin barely touched me, but I was already close.

“Come for me,” Jaemin urged, releasing my hips from his firm grip. Now when I could buckle my hips against his face, my orgasm was just seconds away. With my hand in his hair, I rocked my hips, basking in pleasure.

“I need your fingers,” I begged, and Jaemin quickly obeyed my shameful plea. I expected him to tease me further, denying me his long fingers, but he was kind enough to do anything to make me come.

Thanks to my juices and Jaemin’s saliva, his two fingers slid right in.

“Fuck,” I shouted at the top of my voice when the wave of pleasure shot right through me. Jaemin’s jaw still played with my clit as he continued his actions throughout the orgasm.

“You blew my mind, Jaemin,” I muttered after I regained my focus after he had made me come on his face. “I came so hard,” I confessed, smiling like an idiot. It was way too long ever since someone made me feel this good.

“You better get used to it because I am planning this to be a frequent occurrence,” Jaemin whispered, looking at my face as if it was an art piece. “Do you have condoms?” he casually asked as he pulled down his jeans. His erected cock was restrained in the denim fabric, and Jaemin needed to get rid of it.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” I replied as I opened the bedside table and threw a brand new package of condoms at Jaemin’s chest. “Jiwoo got me those after she walked on our pillow fight the other day. Apparently, she doesn’t want any cum stains on the couch.”

For a while, we were lying on the bed, staring at each other. Jaemin gave me some time to recover from my orgasm. According to him, I needed to take breaks because he didn’t want to over-stimulate me too soon.

“I really love you,” Jaemin confessed genuinely, and I quickly rolled closer to him, giving him another chase smooch. His confession was music to my ears, and I could listen to it on repeat without getting tired of it.

“I love you, too,” I quickly replied, leaning in for another kiss. With his hand on my cheek, he deepened the kiss, giving us another chance to get lost in the love trance.

Having thrown my leg over his hipbone, I hovered over his erection.

“Let me take care of you,” I said as I pulled away from the kiss. With a playful smirk upon my face, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Slowly after, my bra followed suit, and Jaemin grunted upon seeing me completely naked in front of him.

“Sexy,” he purred before he eagerly took off his hoodie, throwing it onto the floor. “On a second thought, maybe you should put something on. You’re too sexy, and I’d like to last longer,” Jaemin explained, handing me his hoodie so I could cover myself up. “No, it’s even worse. Take it off,” he changed his mind after seeing me in his clothes.

Carefully, I pulled Jaemin’s boxers down his legs, letting his rock hard cock spring free. Biting on my lips, I grabbed his erection, giving it a few gentle strokes.

“Fuck it, I am ready,” Jaemin yelled, placing his hand over mine, making me stop. “You have all the time in the world to blow me. Right now, I want to feel you,” he added, quickly pulling out a condom from its packaging.

“Let me at least roll it down for you,” I offered, and Jaemin sighed, weighing his options.

“Nah, I am not willing to take that risk,” Jaemin answered, proceeding to wrap his cock by himself. “Now, come here, sit down on it,” he urged, and I shook my head. Smiling like an idiot, I guided his cock towards my entrance, slowly sinking down on his length.

“You’re good?” I asked, trying to guess what was going on inside his brain. Judging by his sour expression, he must’ve been thinking about something terrible in order to stop himself from coming too soon.

“Yes, everything’s cool,” he reassured, and I took it as permission to gently rock my hips back and forth. Whenever I moved, Jaemin kept grunting quietly. Apparently, he also suffered from sexual frustration.

My hands were wandering all over his muscular chest, admiring his athletic built. My hips were moving at a steady rhythm, but whenever I happened to increase the tempo, Jaemin would slow me down with a firm grip on my hips.

“If you keep doing that, I might spank you,” Jaemin warned me, but it only made me want to disobey more. “Why did I even expect you to be a good girl?” Jaemin asked, rolling his eyes.

“Spank me,” I ordered, trying my best not to chuckle. “I dare you,” I added, pushing the right buttons. “Like that,” I moaned when Jaemin’s hand collided against my butt, shaking me with newfound excitement.

“You’re impossible,” Jaemin comment, still in shock after discovering how much into spanking I happened to be.

“I’m impossible not to fall in love with,” I remarked, using Jaemin’s own words against him.

Unable to handle my teasing, Jaemin sat up. “I love you so much,” Jaemin stated once again before he looked at my lips, kissing them. Now, when I was distracted by his tongue, it was easier for him to control my movement.

In our upgraded position, I significantly slowed down. Carefully, I moved up and down Jaemin’s cock, while he sneaked his hand between our entangled bodies, rubbing my clit. I was close, and I was about to come again.

I didn’t know what he was so self-conscious about. No doubt I would come first.

“Jaemin, I am coming,” I breathed out, messing up my rhythm. It was difficult to maintain the same tempo when Jaemin was playing with my clit. Jaemin’s lips moved down my neck, finding a perfect spot on my collarbone to leave a hickey.

“Me, too,” Jaemin whispered as he began thrusting from underneath me, now desperate to push the both of us off the edge. “You’re so tight, fuck,” he cursed as my walls started to swell around his throbbing cock.

Jaemin moaned against my skin, muffling his sinful sounds. I, on the other hand, screamed Jaemin’s name at the top of my voice, telling everybody in the world he was the person, making me feel this good.

Having fallen onto the sheets, we looked into each other’s eyes. We were panting as if we just ran a marathon. Not that I had any doubts, but Jaemin turned out to be a passionate lover, and it made me love him even more.

“You’re beautiful,” Jaemin complimented me, staring at my face in utter admiration. “I am so lucky,” he added, and I moved closer, snuggling up to him. It was still early, but I was so fucked out, I could fall asleep right there in his arms.

Having pulled me closer to his chest, Jaemin threw a duvet over our sweaty bodies. His fingers were tracing shapes on my shoulder when he pressed yet another peck against my temple.

“Are you down for another round?” Jaemin asked as he discarded the full condom. His cock was still semi-hard. In a few minutes, Jaemin would be ready for some more. “It’s cool if you’re not,” he added, trying not to put any pressure on me.

“I want you to do me all night,” I confessed, looking over my shoulder at the clock. It’s only 8 pm, and I could stay up till daylight with Jaemin.

“Do you want to go bowling tomorrow?” Jaemin asked, and I eagerly nodded. It was fun the last time I had joined the boys on their monthly trip to the bowling alley. Besides, I would be the first woman to break the unfortunate one-time-only curse. I couldn’t wait to show up two months in a row.

“I’d love that,” I answered, snuggling closer to Jaemin’s side.

In content, we basked in happiness until Jaemin regained enough energy to go for the third time. However, this time around, it was slow and steamy. Under the covers, Jaemin crawled on top of me, kissing every inch of my body.

“Do you want to roll it down on me? I think I can handle that,” Jaemin asked, and I reached for the condom, carefully rolling it down his length. “I wish I could fuck you without one, though,” he added, and I flicked his forehead, making him whine. “I’ll pull out.”

“I trust you, but it’s still a no from me,” I replied, guiding his cock into my entrance. Inch by inch, Jaemin pushed himself all the way in. “You fill me up so well,” I praised, purring into his ear. “I love your cock.”

Distance between our bodies was practically nonexistent. Jaemin was slowly snapping his hips, rubbing his pelvic bone against my clit, turning me into a moaning mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if my neighbors called the police because of all the noise coming from my bedroom.

“One day, you’ll let me fuck you raw. I’ll make sure you do,” Jaemin carried on, and I hissed, feeling the approaching orgasm. I didn’t even bother to comment on Jaemin’s statement. I was whipped for him. I knew I wasn’t able to maintain my assertive stance for long. Eventually, I’d cave in, letting him fuck me without a condom. It wasn’t today, though.

“In your dreams, lover boy,” I answered, but Jaemin just giggled, knowing I wasn’t serious.

“You have no idea how many times we’ve done it raw in my dreams,” Jaemin confessed as he picked up his pace, pounding into my pussy, making me moan at the sudden speed. “One day, I’ll tell you all about my fantasies, but right now, I really want this pussy to cream around my cock,” he added, his filthy words making my walls squeeze around his length.

“You wait until I tell you mine,” I challenged with a smirk. If Jaemin thought he was the only one with a dirty mind, he was seriously mistaken. While most of my fantasies were PG-13, there was still a large portion of naughty scenarios. Now, when Jaemin and I were finally together, it would be fun to try to recreate at least some of them.

“You better come because I can’t go much longer,” Jaemin warned me, pounding in and out, chasing his own release. “Fuck,” he yelled, falling on top of me as he shot his load into the condom. His cock twitched inside of me as he moved slowly, riding out his orgasm.

“Jaemin,” I hollered, coming undone underneath him. Despite the other peaks, this orgasm hit me the hardest. For a brief second, my vision turned black as I gave in to the pleasure.

Breathlessly, I lay in the sheets, slowly descending from my high.

“I think all I can do tonight is cuddle,” I commented, feeling too fucked out to engage in any other form of affection. “I don’t think I can walk.”

“It’s okay. I can carry you around the house,” Jaemin answered, finding a solution for my problem. Having pulled his limp cock out of me, Jaemin rolled down another condom, putting it aside.

“What is it?” Jaemin asked as he heard a noise from the living room.

“It sounded as if someone was knocking on the doors,” I spoke, trying to identify the sound. “It must be a courier for Jiwoo. She keeps ordering stuff online. It’s probably the late evening delivery she forgot about. Can you get it?”

“No problem, babe,” Jaemin answered as he put on his jeans, walking around the bed to answer the door.

At first, I wanted to wait for Jaemin in bed. However, it’s been like three minutes, and he didn’t come back, so I found it weird.

Having put on Jaemin’s hoodie and a pair of leggings, I made my way out of the room.

Jaemin was standing by the doors, looking inside a plastic bag. Whatever it was, it smelled like Thai food. Unfortunately, it didn’t explain anything. We were here alone, and we didn’t order anything.

Just when I was about to open my mouth and ask Jaemin what the hell was going on, Ten walked out of his room. It was strange, but I saw him leave, and I didn’t hear him come back.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked angrily, trying to hide my embarrassment. If he was here the whole time, he must’ve heard us having sex.

“I live here, duh,” Ten answered matter-of-factly, choosing not to give me the explanation which I desperately needed. “I think it’s mine,” Ten spoke as he walked up to Jaemin to take his Thai takeout.

Although Jaemin and I were standing in the living room in complete consternation, Ten didn’t seem to pay any attention to it. In front of his bedroom, Ten stopped in his tracks, turning his head to face me.

“Congratulations, by the way,” Ten spoke, making me even more embarrassed. “Three times, wow. It’s impressive. Don’t fuck this up, dear. He’s a keeper,” Ten added, sending me a playful wink before he disappeared inside his room.

#jaemin smut #neosmutcollective #neosmutletters #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct u smut #jaemin fluff #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #jaemin #na jaemin #nct fake dating #fake dating au #collage au #love letters au #idiots to lovers #friends to lovers #jaemin angst #nct angst #nct dream angst

[fairyoftbz]

insecurities | l. juyeon

🧸 pairing: idol!juyeon x (insecure) fem!reader 🧸 word count: 2.7k 🧸 genre: angst, fluffy end 🧸 tw: mentions of insecurities, doubts 🧸 a/n: sorry i forgot to post, i had a busy day and im exhausted, i hope it's gonna be enough! 🧸 requested: yes! thank you, it is very cliché but i hope this is what you had in mind! 💝

╰☆☆☆☆╮

Juyeon came home tired but happy, excited to see you again after a long day of intense practice and a show where he participated as an MC. You, on the other hand, were not as happy as he was, but you were for sure tired of something.

You couldn’t deny it, dating Juyeon had positive points, he was everything you could ask for in a man, but there were just as many negative points. He was an attractive, sweet gentleman, and it was almost impossible for him not to attract other girls, not even doing it on purpose. And it was one of your many insecurities even if you considered yourself pretty, you couldn’t help but get insecure every time he talked to someone else.

Because let’s be honest, in the Korean music industry, every single woman looks like an absolute goddess. So, when he interacts with someone, and they’re a bit too friendly, your heart pinches in pain as he gives them the smile he keeps for you and you only.

You think that they are more interesting, prettier and funnier than you, which has the ability to send your thoughts to the dark side of self-consciousness, not feeling pretty or enough next to those women. And tonight, it was hard to watch on National TV your boyfriend being extremely friendly with the other MC.

You had tried to comfort yourself that it was just a mask, that he had to look friendly and handsome on TV. However, you couldn’t help feeling disappointment and anger as he gave attentive eyes to the other MC as she explained something, his eyes falling on her lips pressed against the mic.

Juyeon walks through the main door, tossing his keys on the chest of drawers, getting rid of his jacket and shoes before joining you in the living room, happy to see that you were watching the same channel he appeared on. Eyes glued on the screen, your thumb rubbed against your lips, feeling the skin of the cuticles you scratched while watching your boyfriend feeling rough against your lips.

“Hi love,” he said as he sat next to you, pressing his lips on your cheek. You didn’t react, only emitting a slight hum as he sat comfortably.

Juyeon frowned but didn’t raise your bad mood, trying to think what was going on inside your head. Maybe you had a bad day, or you were just tired, despite scratching his head and think, he couldn’t pinpoint what had brought you in such a bad mood.

“Did you have fun?” you bitterly spat, and Juyeon’s eyes widened, surprised by your tone, the wrinkle on his forehead deepening as his brows furrowed at your attitude.

“I did. Are you mad or something?” he bluntly asked, and you sighed, taking the remote to turn the TV off, falling in an unpleasant, uncomfortable silence.

“Oh no, I’m super fine. I really enjoyed my boyfriend giving heart eyes to another girl on national TV, it was such a nice thing to watch,” you bitterly chuckled, and Juyeon’s eyes widened even more, not expecting you to pull out the jealousy card on that.

“Babe, what are you talking about? You know-”

“Please, spare me your fake confusion and lame excuses, I clearly saw what I saw. My eyes never deceive me,” you said while standing up, but Juyeon was quick to imitate you and grab your wrist to prevent you from walking away. You tried to free yourself from his grip, but he only tightened his hand around it.

“Juyeon, let me go,” you said through clenched teeth, trying to prevent the tears from escaping your eyes. Breaking down was the last thing you wanted to do in this situation.

“Not before you explain to me what this fuss is all about,” he said, irritation replacing confusion in his eyes. You let out a mocking scoff, your eyes filled with anger and disdain boring into your boyfriend’s, holding eye contact for a few seconds.

“You really think I’m this dumb? I clearly saw the eyes you gave to the other MC when you were both animating the show. Cracking jokes, giving her smiles that could outshine the sun, your eyes ogling her lips when she was talking or smiling. Did you really think I wouldn’t catch that?” you raised your voice, letting anger take over your body.

“I never did all of that, I don’t know what you are insinuating,” he spat, trying not to show it, but your words hurt him, hating the fact that you could imagine him cheat on you or fancy another girl.

“Go on social media then, you will see what I am ‘insinuating’! Everyone is already talking about how whipped you are and how cute of a couple you would look together. Some fans are even starting to make edits!” you shouted, shoving your phone in your hoodie’s front pocket.

Juyeon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to calm his nerves a bit, a gesture that had the ability to enrage you even more. Your family used to do that when they found you annoying or wanted to belittle you, and now seeing Juyeon doing the exact same thing as them really made you even more insecure about this whole situation. Your family made you feel like a real burden during your childhood and teen years that it hurt you to think that Juyeon was probably agreeing with that thought right now.

“Y/N, I don’t know what you are talking about. I was just trying to be nice, I can’t be rude or it’s mine and the group’s reputation that I’ll take down with me-”

“No it’s okay, no need to explain yourself, the message was very clear,” you said, and you finally freed yourself from his grip, your heart breaking as Juyeon sighed in annoyance again, seeing him almost roll his eyes.

“It’s not what I meant, and you know it. Don’t react like that, please,” he started, but you waved your hand in front of you.

“No, no, I got it, you-”

“Y/N, for the love of God, stop being so fucking insecure, it’s getting so fucking annoying at this point! I can’t do anything without you getting fucking doubtful, start having faith in me and in this relationship, dammit!” your eyes widened as Juyeon eventually snapped, his mouth slowly closing as he stared at you, realisation hitting him that his words and tone made a lot of damage once he saw the tears gather in your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

The couch separated the two of you, creating the illusion of a painful wall that made you shiver, feeling like your apartment had lost all of its warmth on the spur of the moment. His words were brutal, and they bounced around your skull, your head turning towards the corridor to swallow the lump forming in your throat, trying not to break down in front of him.

“Y/N, I’m-”

“Leave me alone,” you replied, voice wavering as you walked out of the living room, slamming the bedroom door shut before locking it.

Juyeon sighed and carded his hands through his dark locks, closing his eyes as he thought of the words that had escaped his mouth too quickly. He cursed under his breath as the living room fell into a deafening silence, his hands linked at the back of his neck as he thought of what just happened.

“Why did I say that,” he muttered under his breath and collapsed on the couch, unlocking his phone and scrolling on social media to try and momentarily forget your beautiful face painted with a hurtful expression because of him, but it was to no avail.

He saw what you saw; the fiction, the edits, the collages, he saw and read everything. He already hated seeing you cry and being hurt, but he actually loathed himself for being such an idiot and not comfort you about the whole situation with what was happening on every social platform.

His heart shattered in millions of pieces as he pictured you crying in your shared bed, holding the stuffed animal he got you for your anniversary tight against your chest, letting you drown in your insecurities and intrusive thoughts. He loved you very much, but despite him trying to remind you every single day, your intrusive thoughts always managed to get the upper hand when you found yourself hanging out on your own or with some friends. It was as if your brain shut out everyone who tried to reassure you or make you feel better, letting you drown and struggle in your sorrow.

Yes, the other idols were pretty, but they were nothing compared to you. Juyeon had only eyes for you and cared about you and, of course, his members, but never had he thought about leaving you for someone else. His intentions were just to sound and appear nice and welcoming on TV because he knew that some fans, antis and media wouldn’t hesitate a second to bash him on different platforms and articles for his rudeness and insensitivity towards his idol colleague. And not only would he break his reputation, but also the group’s, and that’s the last thing he wanted.

However, he also understood that it was something hard to watch for you, even if he reminded you every single day that you were the only one that mattered in his eyes.

Sitting on the couch, he started reflecting, putting himself in your shoes for a second. How would he have reacted if he saw you being super friendly and affectionate to another man? Someone more handsome, nicer than him, cracking jokes here and there to see you smile and laugh.

He tossed his phone on the couch space next to him, where he wished you were instead of crying yourself in your shared bed, watching the device bounce, collide with the armrest and fall on the ground. He didn’t even fret checking if the screen cracked, head too high in his thoughts to bother.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he pressed his joined hands against his mouth, tongue poking his inner cheek as he realised he had really messed everything up. His knee started bouncing at the disgusting thought of losing you, perfectly knowing that he had to do something before you could slip through his hand like grains of sand.

Juyeon stood up and knocked on the bedroom door, softly calling for your name.

“Y/N?” he asked, and you didn’t respond, faintly hearing you cry on the other side of the wall. “Go away, please,” your strained voice barely making it to his ears, his fingers drumming against the surface of the door in frustration.

From your side of the bed, still holding that teddy bear close to your chest, you let your tears damp the top of its head, feeling the exhaustion of crying kicking in. Juyeon didn’t knock another time, trying not to push your buttons too much to save his chances to talk to you.

You heard a small thud on the lower part of the door, frowning as you wondered what it was. Deep breathings filled in the silence lingering in the corridor, selfishly feeling a bit relieved that you weren’t the only one hurt in this situation. Juyeon was a smart, tolerant man, he knew when to put his pride aside and not blame you for something you said or did. Well, it’s not the case for this time, and it’s probably exhaustion that spoke for him, and that, of course, doesn’t excuse anything, but he wanted to apologise and make up for everything.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me or hear my voice after what I’ve told you, but I really want to apologise for what I’ve said,” you held your breath to hear his faint, low voice on the other side of the door. You sat up and felt dizzy for a quick second, still holding the teddy bear against your chest, your face buried in its head as you let the tears keep rolling on your cheeks.

“I know it’s hard to date me, and I’m really sorry, I wish we had a simpler life, where we could hang out and go on dates like two normal people. It’s also hard for me to not be the type of boyfriend everyone wishes to have, but I’m so damn grateful to call you mine.” Juyeon marked a pause and ruffled his hair, pushing the front pieces away from his hair while thinking of his following words.

“I… you don’t know how much I’m sorry for using your insecurities against you. I shouldn’t have, it was the dumbest move I could ever do, but I just didn’t know what to answer. You are so pretty, so beautiful, amazing, and absolutely wonderful to have around to me, so seeing you this insecure makes me mad every time you compare yourself to someone you think looks prettier, thinner, or more perfect than you. It’s... really frustrating because I try my best to make you feel like a goddess and worth it every day, but those unrealistic society standards and god damn social media make you feel like you are not worth an ounce of love,” he took in a big breath and raised his knees upwards, letting his forearms rest on them.

You slowly opened the door behind him and dropped the teddy bear by his side, letting him know of your presence. He was quick to notice it and turn around to hug your legs tightly, your hands finding their way in his hair and started massaging his skull.

“I’m so sorry, Ju,” you faintly whispered, and he breathed in deeply against your skin as if he finally found you again after being separated from you for years.

He grabbed your cherished stuffed animal and stood up, holding it against your chest with a tender smile. He sat you down on the bed and gave you a proper hug, mouth pressing loving kisses on your forehead and temple as his hand caressed the back of your head, holding you as close to him as possible.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I really am. I love you so, so much, I’m really sorry for all the stupid words I’ve thrown at you,” he said, and you shook your head, squeezing your arms around his middle tightly as an answer.

“I guess I have to accept that you have eyes only for me. But you know, it’s hard to acknowledge it and believe it when you find everyone around you ten times more beautiful than you are,” you mumbled against his chest as you sat on his lap, and he nodded, feeling a lump rising in his throat.

“I know Y/N, I know. I wish I could rid you of those insecurities, my heart breaks each time I see you so unsure of yourself. You're just so beautiful and amazing, it honestly kills me to see you like this,” he whispered, and you bitterly chuckled, gently pulling away to look at him with pearly eyes, his arms around you holding you still tight, making sure that you wouldn’t go too far from him.

“You can’t do that, but maybe you can help me soothe them by keeping loving me the way you’ve done since day one,” you mumbled, and he smiled, his eyes shining with tears just like yours.

You both cupped each other’s face and sadly smiled at the other, Juyeon feeling comforted at the sensation of your thumbs wiping the tears away from his cheeks and vice versa.

“We just need time, love, but I promise I’m going to help you realise how much you mean to me and how beautiful you are. And how much I don’t care about other girls,” he mumbled, and he gently drew your face closer to his, your lips grazing against his mouth. You closed your eyes at the proximity, feeling so much love and passion in his kiss that it was getting hard to breathe.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” Juyeon pulled away from your lips and whispered against your mouth, his hot breath mixing with yours.

“I love you too,” you smiled, burying your face in his neck, your boyfriend kissing the crown of your head while hugging you tight.

You giggled as Juyeon applied pressure on your waist, making you fall on your side on the bed. His hand gently cradled your cheek, thumb caressing your cheekbone with a soft smile on his face. You closed your eyes and pressed your forehead against his, feeling him chuckle and gently press his lips against yours.

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[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Touch it for Real, Part 4

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Eventual Smut

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers

A/N: The song featured in the kitchen scene is Fantasy by Mariah Carey.

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

You were puzzling. Alone in your bedroom, laying within the comfort of your own bed, you were positively puzzling.

After sorting out just who Ben was and fixing the damage Baekhyun had done to your reputation by explaining that your idiot roommate had just gotten a hold of your phone, you reintroduced yourself and apologized for the confusion.

This ‘Ben’ actually seemed to laugh off the odd behavior he’d gotten as a first impression of you, mentioning that your roommate seemed funny, if not weirdly protective of you.

You could see what he meant when you read through the rapid fire questions Baekhyun had asked him from his age, to his preferred operating system, whether or not Ben had Facebook so “you” and him could be friends, his profession, and his parents line of work, his current place of work, how long he’s worked there and whether or not he moves around a lot, his hometown, his hobbies and even whether or not Ben has now or has ever had any pets; it seemed that Baekhyun had actually done a whole lot of legwork to give you a pretty good idea of what Ben might be like.

But the moment Baekhyun’s conversation topic changed to innocently ask Ben for his astrological sign, something struck you as off to see Baekhyun proclaim you to also be the same sign and after the two compared birthdays you began to find the whole exchange quite odd.

You realized that Baekhyun had simply lied about your birthday. Baekhyun knew your birthday. Why had he given a fake date to Ben? Unless there was something else happening that you didn’t understand. Then again, Baekhyun had always been rather stingy about giving out personal information; both yours and his. He was probably just being cautious about revealing too much to a stranger.

And actually, Ben seemed rather …. nice. You always hesitated to give them this adjective right off the bat as most of the guys you met who seemed nice right away turned out to be very good at faking nice and stringing along at least three or four girls at once for the shot at fucking at least one of them, and the hopes of fucking all of them.

You’d been called the wrong name late at night, whispered through a sleepy voice over the phone. You’d been sweet-talked and then abruptly called a bitch for refusing to send nudes to a guy you’d been talking to for only a week. Apparently a week was his limit and all his other girls gave him what he wanted within a couple of days. You’d been ghosted by nice guys who felt victimized and led on when you said goodnight politely with a smile and a wave instead of inviting them inside for ramen.

You did want a nice guy. But you wanted a real one.

What you wouldn’t give for one of them, for just one of them to be honest with you and really show you their true self.

Perhaps you had been going about it all wrong.

Your conversation with Ben quietly fizzled and you put your phone away to charge and now, now you were simply puzzling.

It panged at your heart to think of it, but the upset with Baekhyun hours earlier kept replaying in your mind. You propped your feet up on your wall and let your head hang off the edge of your bed, enjoying the way the gravity pulled at the blood in your brain and you tapped your fingers on the bed absentmindedly to the soft beat of music you heard playing from his room.

And you puzzled.

Don’t use your beauty as a weapon against me.

You hadn’t been this bothered by something since you’d watched that Mission Impossible movie the first time and spent an hour and a half trying to wrap your head around the complicated plot.

A Weapon.

Your beauty … a weapon … against me.

Why did it bother you so much? Why had he been so upset that you were playing with him, that you were messing with him. He messed with you all the time. You messed with him just as much. He never got this upset. No, he never got upset in this way. In such a way as to call you out on using something you had, against him. Something that you hadn’t even known had any power at all to attack the man. Your beauty. Did you have such a thing?

You thought about the other times you fought with him.

Not really fought, the two of you never did that, but that fake sort of fighting like when he’d woken you up at 2am for the third night in a row with his loud working music and you found him out in the kitchen disassembling your favorite toaster, the one with the wide slots for bagels that also toasts four slices of bread at once and even has special buttons for frozen items. The stainless steel one that you won in a work raffle and proudly marched through the office carrying with a huge smile on your face. It was a deluxe model. Supreme even. The master of it’s craft. Said so right on the box. Your toaster in a million pieces on your kitchen counter; all because he needed some components or resistors or whatever the fuck it was and he decided the best move was to take your toaster apart rather than to just order what he needed online and wait two business days for them to arrive.

Sure, he put it back together a few days later but not without enduring the laser eyes you shot him over breakfast when you had to toast a piece of bread in a frying pan on the stove like a loser who did not own a four slice Deluxe Toastmaster Supreme.

You’d planned your revenge then. It was something tiny and it involved his TV remote. His precious TV was enormous, took up almost the whole wall, OLED or SUPER-NANO or ULTRA-NANO some similar nonsense words and had 8-Ks of pixels or so he claimed and had so many smart functions you could hardly get comfortable using it for anything that didn’t involve the Netflix button. And no, no, you didn’t do anything to the actual TV. Relax, this was just the remote. This was harmless. Absolutely harmless. Easy to solve really if he had half a brain in his head.

You just carefully cut out the smallest tiniest piece of IR blocking tape that fit exactly over the infrared sensor on the remote control and fit so well it was undetectable to the human eye. Unless you knew it was there and knew exactly where to stick your fingernail in under the plastic bezel to peel it back. You simply applied the tape and left the remote right on the coffee table before you left for work.

You’d come home that night to a pile of assorted battery packs all strewn about the coffee table, and the remote completely taken apart down to the tiny circuit board and Baekhyun was quietly touching the tip of some tiny tool to the different spots on the scary looking green part from inside of the remote with all the metal bits stuck to it and when you slowly walked by he looked up at you through the magnifying eye glasses he wore. His eyes looked comically enormous and you swallowed away your laughter and considered how long you’d let him suffer.

“Something wrong with your remote, Peanut Butter?”

“It was working fine yesterday. I just don’t understand it.”

“Maybe it’s the batteries,” you offered innocently and he just ignored your helpful suggestion as he began screwing tiny screws into place with a precision screwdriver.

He was reassembling it all now and you sat down beside him on the sofa about as amused as you had ever been to sit and watch him suffer.

He grabbed two new batteries from an unopened pack on the table and aimed the remote, pressing the buttons again and again. Nothing happened.

He was surprisingly calm about the whole thing and judging by the various shopping bags and different brands of batteries you saw, he seemed to have been working on this all afternoon. Probably for hours now.

“I’m going to have to take the TV apart.”

He was already standing up and walking across the room toward the wall mounted monstrosity when you leaned forward for the remote. He glanced back at you as you did it and he looked at you just in time to see you shake the remote back and forth and then hit it twice lightly against your left hand. Just a little knock-knock should do it. You were careful to keep the expression on your face calm and well controlled.

When you pressed the power button, the big TV came to life and you pressed the button for Netflix and scrolled through your recommended titles. You had a new episode to watch. You’d have to make time tonight for that. After he was done with his little project here.

Baekhyun instantly pulled his hands away from the TV and hopped back and away from the screen, peering up at it with his mouth hanging wide open. His eyes shot back to where you sat on the sofa holding the remote control. You did not allow your smile to form. Nothing in your whole life had ever been so difficult. You felt as if you could pop right here. You casually flipped through the menu on the screen and the man looked back up at the TV and back down at you again.

You could see him coming in then. He was moving fast with several large steps toward you and with the quickest movement you could manage you used the tip of your finger to slide the IR tape back over the remote sensor. You could not be as precise as you had been before with him coming right at you so quickly, but hopefully it wouldn’t be visible.

He reached for the remote. “What did you do, how did you fix it?” He held it up and pointed it toward the TV. Again, the remote did not work. You bit down hard on the inside of your cheek.

He was pressing buttons again and nothing happened with each new button he smashed down. You could see the madness growing in his eyes the more he tried.

He made the smallest whining sound from the back of his throat and it took every ounce of self control to keep from laughing as he lightly tapped the remote twice against his hand just as he had seen you do. Nothing.

You tried to hold it. You tried so hard. A tiny sound escaped, the smallest sniffle with a laugh broke free from your throat and you coughed lightly to hide it.

His face turned on you and those crazed eyes were back only instead of directing them at the remote, he was looking at you now.

“How did you fix it? Do it again.” He looked insane and desperate and a tiny smile betrayed you as you grabbed the remote from his hand. You played the smile off as part of the help you were willing to offer him but you also had to inhale a deep breath and carefully and slowly exhale it through your mouth to keep from breaking completely.

You held it up in your right hand and gave it a little shake. As quickly as you had done it before you turned the remote on its side as you gave those two little knocks and his head flipped toward the TV when you aimed. With his eyes averted you were able to slip the tape off just before pressing the button.

The Netflix logo greeted you and Baekhyun threw his head back and let out a loud frustrated yell into the ceiling above him.

You’d been holding your laugh for too long. It was becoming too difficult now and he was back, reaching for the remote when the first suffocating giggles took your composure and you laughed out loud.

Your laughter brought all of his attention right to you and only you. The entirety of his focus shifted and that brought those crazed eyes of his bearing down on you, wide and demanding.

It was, by far, the most successful and meanest prank you had ever played on him to date and you were gasping for air and laughing as he reached for you. He grasped both of your shoulders and he shook you as you laughed and laughed at the absolute madness in his eyes. Oh he was crazy. It was just so damn funny.

The remote was still in your hands and you flipped through the different inputs on the TV as you cackled and tears formed at the corners of your eyes.

“How did you do it? You devil! Tell me how you did it?”

He balanced with his knees on the couch and his hands were on you, roaming over the fabric of the sweater you wore, lifting your arms to look under them, maybe for spare remotes or for hidden batteries or secret formulas, who knows what he thought he might find.

You’d stashed the tiny circle of tape by sticking it to the skin inside your elbow and he was currently examining the fingers on all of your hands up close as if they concealed all of the secrets he was looking for.

It wasn’t until he searched higher, pulling your hand forward toward his chest and his thumb grazed against the shiny plastic of the tape circle you had on your inner arm when he did a double take, pulled your arm harder and lifted an accusing finger to point at the tape.

“What is that?!” He clearly thought himself to be the world’s greatest detective.  

You allowed yourself to be manhandled by him a little bit more as you got every bit of humor about your recent victory out of your chest and you lifted your other hand, the one he did not have held hostage right now to wipe at the tears that had fallen from your eyes.  

“Stop laughing and answer me, woman! What is it?”

“It’s my birth control patch,” you said through a laugh and his eyes widened as he pulled his hand back. It was a tiny movement but you were so close to his accusing eyes that it felt monumental and the dramatic reaction to your teasing lie made a fresh wave of laughter bubble up in your chest. You knew he would react this way. Any mention of your contraceptives always made him clam up.

“It’s IR tape, Baekhyun. Infrared blocking tape. I put it on the sensor this morning after breakfast. After I made toast in a pan instead of in my toaster.”

The truth pulled his whole head back and he fell down on his butt on the sofa briefly before he slipped and fell right off the couch onto the floor and he sat there with a blank lifeless look on his face; staring ahead without any focus in his eyes.

“Do you know how sad pan toast is, Baekhyun? Tell me, how am I supposed to be satisfied with pan toast when I should have been having Deluxe Toastmaster Supreme toast?”

He was shaking his head back and forth as you spoke and when he did move it was to lay down flat on his back on the floor of the living room. His hands were up and he rubbed roughly over his face.

“Oh my god. Oh my god—it’s so good. I would have never checked for tape over the sensor. Fucking tape. A piece of goddamn tape. I was so focused on the batteries.I went to three different stores today. The circuits to the sensor were all intact, I checked it, it was good — I never even considered this. Are you an evil genius? My sweet innocent Bug ... is actually an evil supervillain.”

You left him on the floor and made your way into the kitchen to make dinner. It was your night to cook and thanks to the man stewing on the floor of the living room you had to do it around the scattered carcass of your third favorite kitchen appliance.

You remembered the way he reacted then. He pouted and moaned on the floor for a few moments until he smelled the stew you were cooking on the stove. It was comfort food. Something with meat and potatoes and warmth and spices. It would lift anyone’s mood and his had been lifted almost immediately. There were no apologies or any tears. Just a promise to put the toaster back together tomorrow after he went to the store for the parts he needed and that was the end of it.

He didn't storm away. He didn't raise his voice or say you were mean or unfair or too beautiful for him to withstand. He didn't get angry about closeness being used the wrong way, in a way that was unfair to him. In a way that could hurt him, like a weapon.

If he said you had the kind of beauty that could be used against him, didn't that mean he found you beautiful? Wouldn't that mean that Baekhyun found you attractive?

The words protested inside your mind. You shook your head.

That was impossible. Definitely. You’ve been so close to him for so long without even a hint of that sort of a feeling from him. Sure you were close to each other. Sure you cared for each other. It was a familiar sort of affection you shared. But attraction? Because he found you beautiful in a way that was unfair?

The puzzling was giving you a headache. There were some things that just did not exist in the same space in your mind and that was the existence of your roommate, Byun Baekhyun, and the possibility that he was attracted to you in any way.

You’d been inside your bedroom for hours now and you were no closer to answers than when you first came in here.

Baekhyun would be done with his episode. He would have watched it with Mia and discussed themes or scenes or dramatic moments with her. Did he talk to her on the phone or maybe though a headset as they streamed the episode together.

Did he like her voice and did she like his jokes?

Did he make her laugh? Of course he did. He made everyone laugh. Baekhyun was charming and hilarious. But could she make him laugh? Could she make him giggle and shake like he laughed with you?

It was late. That didn't really mean all that much to Baekhyun, as the man didn't really have any set bedtime and usually just fell asleep when the sun began to come up. It was a weekend night and you didn't have work in the morning and frankly your curiosity had grown too much for you to just stay in here and fall asleep without at least checking on how the streaming date went.

You knocked lightly on his door. You could hear music playing inside. Nothing too loud or crazy. The man seemed to be having a somewhat low key evening.

“Yeah,” his voice called lowly and you opened the door and peeked your head inside.

“How is our girlfriend doing?” Baekhyun was sitting on his butt on the floor in front of his bed with his head laid over his arms and his phone abandoned in the middle of the floor out of arm’s reach.

He let out a long low groan but did not lift his head up when you stepped inside.

“I don't even know. I don't know.” He sounded defeated already and this had only just started.

“Peanut, what happened?” You picked up the phone and unlocked the screen, searching through his apps to find the dating app so you could see if they had said anything to each other that might give you some clues about what went wrong.

“Nothing happened. I was too quiet. I couldn’t talk at all. I didn't say anything during the entire episode. Why is this so scary. Uggghhh...I feel unsafe. It’s gross.”

You stepped over him and climbed onto his bed, sitting up against the head of the bed as you scrolled through the chat logs.

It looked normal. Not unfriendly. A little terse and abrupt on his part. The man didn't know how to loosen up when he talked to girls and you wondered if maybe you needed more one on one lessons with him before he was really ready for this stuff.

When you leaned back against the headboard you felt the bed dip and he climbed onto the bed beside you and angled his body toward where you sat up against the pillows.

When you got to the end of the chat you could see that she was the last one to speak and she remarked that he felt a bit different from when they spoke at the beginning of the day. He didn't say anything in response to that.

Baekhyun moaned with his eyes closed and he turned his head into your waist. He was obviously reliving some perceived embarrassment he must have felt during the interaction with Mia and when he moved his arm around your waist you looked down to find yourself trapped under his arm that constricted as he pulled tightly, hiding the entirety of his face somewhere in the shirt you wore. He was warm. The weight of his arm around you felt nice.

“I felt so unsafe,” he repeated his complaint from earlier and his voice was obscured and muffled as he hid himself. He switched the tense though and you wondered if he no longer felt unsafe now that you had come in.

You typed out a quick response to Mia. You didn't think it was right to just leave her hanging without an explanation for his strange silence during and after the show.

“I’m going to tell her that you were so quiet because you were nervous. I’ll also thank her for watching the episode tonight.”

You heard and felt a hum and the tightness of his arm around your waist relaxed a little as his arm went slack. He did not move though. He still hugged you. He was still warm and it took only a moment for your nose to pick up the pleasant smell of his clean bed sheets fresh from the dryer. You both had a schedule for washing things like towels and bed sheets. Yours had been cleaned today as well, but something about the smell of his bed felt better than yours had. Perhaps it had been all that difficult puzzling that had tainted yours.

Mia responded right away to your message. She was flattered by his nervousness. You could tell with the way she reassured that he really didn't have to be nervous around her. That she was an easy going kinda girl. Low maintenance she said. You scoffed at the thought of a computer geek being low maintenance. As if you didn't know how difficult to obtain fancy GPUs were and how expensive high powered CPUs, high capacity SATA drives, and their required cooling systems were. You looked around Baekhyun’s set up and figured it had to run somewhere in the multiples of tens of thousands of dollars; just in this room alone.

Low maintenance. Please, she was just as high maintenance as any other regular girl just with a different catalogue of parts.

You switched to the emoji keyboard and keyed off some random happy faces and closed her chat window with more force than was necessary; suddenly and unexpectedly irked when she responded with similar emojis and the notification popped up on the screen. You swiped it away quickly to be rid of it.

“She sounded nice though, even if I couldn’t talk. She sounded nice. Do you think she will even want to talk to me again? I think she likes you more than me.”

“She will like you. If she doesn’t she’s an idiot. A girl would have to be an imbecile, Peanut, to not fall for you.”

He lifted his face then, just enough for the corners of his eye to peek out and you looked down at the side of his face as he looked at you for a moment, absorbing the encouraging words you spoke to him. His leg began to shake somewhere on the end of the bed. You could feel the rhythmic motions. He often did this when he was tired.

You had been scrolling through matches on his phone, building on an idea that popped into your head.

The man needed some practice to build up his confidence. Maybe, just maybe you could find another girl. Someone who he could talk to, chat with, be friendly with, that maybe wasn’t just so wonderfully perfect for him. Someone just to break the ice with.

You stopped on a girl. Her dress was short and the neckline was low. She really left very little up to the imagination with this outfit. Outside of the revealing clothes, it was clear that she was a beautiful woman. She was sexy and very confident in herself despite the glaringly obvious grammatical typo in her bio.

You spun the phone around to show him.

“She looks nice,” you said. Baekhyun blinked at the phone and pulled his face back a little to see the image clearly.

“—-follow you’re dreams — you are — Never too old to follow you are dreams.” Baekhyun read out the sentence with the typo out loud and you laughed.

“Come on, she’s pretty,” you said softly, “right?” You probed gently and he chuckled once to himself and closed his eyes up with a sigh.

“Yeah, she’s pretty,” he said after a while and you felt yourself stiffen just a little bit with his admission. Of course she was. Anyone could see it. He’d be lying if he didn't admit it.

“Okay but like, just pretty or do you also think she’s beautiful?”

He hummed some non response and you focused your attention back on the phone in your hands. After scrolling through a few more profiles you found another woman whose beauty shone brightly right through the screen at you.

“And her? Is she pretty or is she beautiful?”

Baekhyun’s eyes opened again but just barely. He looked half asleep and you wondered if the reason his arm was still around you was because he was so sleepy he didn't realize he was still hugging you like this on his bed.

“Pretty,” he mumbled and pushed his face into your waist again. This time the shaking in his leg began to settle and you could hear a slow steadiness in his breathing.

“Should I message her? Maybe we can practice talking to her so you’re not so nervous talking to girls?”

“Sure Bug,” he said quietly, “you can do anything you want.”

He was falling asleep now. You could feel the change. It didn't matter. You’d let him rest a bit while you opened up a chat window and began talking to Candy.

She responded quickly and had a completely different feeling from Mia. Maybe this was good. Candy was easy to talk to but she had nearly nothing in common with Baekhyun. She casually asked what a computer programmer did and when you went into specifics you had trouble finding synonyms for words that didn’t just make it all more complicated. You finally settled on a simple explanation of what kinds of computer software Baekhyun had developed and left it at that.

After a while Baekhyun shifted in his sleep and uncovered his face. His lips were parted and from the upside down angle you could see the dark splash of his pretty eyelashes that landed over his soft cheeks. He looked lovely and peaceful. All the worries and fears of the day were gone and he was sleeping so calmly. You watched his sleeping face for a while, growing warm inside with the strange contentedness you felt.

You could see some light movement behind his eyes and you wondered if he was dreaming about anything.

Candy had asked for a picture. She was asking something superficial like what sort of car Baekhyun drove and you slipped into his picture gallery for the folder with the shots you took for him when he first bought his car. You found a nice one with him smiling behind the driver’s seat, bright red seatbelt across his chest and the logo of his fancy ride on the steering wheel.

‘Wooo, baby boy an Audi? you must be loaded. When are you gonna come pick me up in that?’

You laughed at her obvious reaction. Candy was exactly as you expected her to be. Baekhyun would be able to laugh and chat with her easily without too much pressure of impressing a complicated woman like Mia was. Candy was an open book. The stakes were lower with Candy.

Your giggle made him stir and you looked down to see his eyes open a tiny bit before he closed them again.

“It’s going well with Candy,” you whispered and he inhaled a breath and nodded his head as he closed his eyes again.

“Mmm, the pretty one?” he asked in a sleepy voice and you hummed your confirmation. Something buzzed inside of you; just a bit of nerve. Call it gumption.

“Baek,” you called quietly and his lips parted with his breathing but his eyes stayed closed this time. He did not respond. He didn't give any indication at all that he heard you call him.

“Baek, what about me?” Your voice was tiny when you asked it. You felt more warmth in this bed suddenly. You felt it in your chest and it seeped up to warm up your face too.

He hadn’t responded at all to your question. It had been pretty unclear though. He might not have heard it, or might not have understood it. Or his sleep may have just been too deep to register your words.

“Am I pretty or am I beautiful?” You said it so quietly there was little chance of him actually hearing it. He was asleep and you were just here, trapped in his embrace on his bed as he slept and you puzzled over the words he had told you during an upset. The words that you had pried from him when he was vulnerable and emotional. The words that you shouldn’t be over analyzing like this. Those words felt too risky to be giving this much thought to.

Here you were again, using your sneaking methods to try and trick him into something when you knew it wouldn't work, when you knew there was nothing really there and you were reading too far into things.

His steady breathing continued. His eyes remained closed and his arm still gripped around your tightly, holding you still, holding you close to him as he slept.

So you gave up. You’d moved back to the phone to respond to Candy; something silly and lighthearted, something easy just like she was, when you heard him speak.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he said so far under his breath the statement sounded more like air than actual vocalization of any kind and your fingers stopped their rapid typing in the middle of your sentence.

Your eyes looked down. Your entire body was frozen. Half of you expected to find his eyes open and a wide teasing smile on his lips, begging for you to take the bait and believe his words just for the chance of laughing at your shocked face and making fun of you for being stupid enough to believe them.

He was asleep. His eyelids did not pull open when you looked down at him and his breathing remained as steady as ever.

Baekhyun was asleep.

That damn puzzling — your jaw was sore from clenching your teeth down and your lips were dry and chapped from biting them.  

You had dropped the phone and it disappeared somewhere amid the bedcovers.

Baekhyun’s sleep was deeper now. He must have been very tired to be falling asleep so recklessly like this. You shifted downward and made some attempt to find the phone without waking him up and your small movement made him inhale a deep breath through his nose and he was moving now. You felt him shifting, moving his sleepy body up higher in search for some comfort; for something to lay on that was a bit more comfortable than flat on the middle of the bed like that.

You used the movement to reach for the blanket and pull it over his body so he could be warm at least and when he finally settled he shared the same pillow as you. His forehead rested against your shoulder and he was once again, fast asleep.

His arm though— you found yourself still very much trapped in nearly the same embrace as before, just shifted. A forearm landed over your chest and you felt a new heaviness of his bent leg land over your thigh.

You could wake him.

You could push him off and let him roll the other way so you could make an escape back to the peace of your own bedroom.

You would. You would do that soon.

Your current state of thoughts was simply too overloaded to follow through on any game plan. If you could only have a few more minutes of his warm steady breathing, you would move away from this. You would do it.

It wasn’t that you had never considered it. It was that you had gone through many lengths to come to this place. You were safe and secure here.

It was that you had nowhere else to go when it was over.

This place was your home.

Peanut was part of that home.

Things were nice right now; the way they were at home.

But…

As they sometimes do, and against your own will, your thoughts wandered.

You wondered as they wandered — wondered about him.

From the deepest parts of your mind; down where you’d shoved them roughly many times before, those wondering thoughts danced and swayed lightly to the soft music playing in this room.

Those secret thoughts about the sweetness in his eyes. Secrets about the fondness you felt for the little tips of him; the tip of his nose, the tips of his fingers, the pink tips of his ears. Thoughts you refused to encourage.

Baekhyun was asleep and you were thinking.

With the thinking came the shame and your skin was hot to the touch. The last thing you wanted was to ruin your home. With the thinking came the denial. You could not encourage anything. You could not afford to become complacent. You did not need these thoughts to become so brazen. You did not need them taking root. The last thing you needed was them making an appearance again.

The sounds he made while dreaming pulled your closed eyelids back open. You turned your face toward the sound. It was soft, the small groan from the back of his throat. But his face changed then; eyebrows screwed together and his lungs constricted as he let out a softer sound, like a whine. It was a complaint. His face showed signs of pain. The dream must have been unpleasant.

You lifted a hand then, shifted within his embrace you raised your palm and laid it carefully over the side of his face.

The shift happened with the warm contact and his features evened out and that pained look was gone.  

You smiled then. So sleepy but satisfied that you could help when he needed it.

You would move after he got a little more sleep. After he’d had a little more comfort from you, you would move.

You weren’t the first to move. And it seemed by the change in light that shone through the windows that your visit had lasted much longer than you had intended.

It was the untangle that woke you up. A conscious and deliberate lifting of limbs; the careful grip of a hand lifting your arm by the wrist and setting it gently down on a flat mattress.

You opened your eyes when he pulled his own leg out from between your thighs. The temperature change was most jarring. You had felt so warm before.

Baekhyun was sitting up in his bed. His hair was standing up in places all over his head and he was moving slowly and carefully, in an attempt to disengage himself from the tangle of this woman he had just woken up with.

The sleep was still very thick in your head. It hadn’t been a full night’s sleep had it? You felt like you had just closed your eyes a minute ago and yet the sunshine was so bright outside already.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun whispered when he realized you were now awake and looking at him, “guess I got too comfortable...must have fallen asleep.”

His voice was thick with sleep and with embarrassment too, you could hear it everywhere, with the quick words he spoke to you and the pink that covered the back of his neck and flooded his cheeks too.

This situation...this was an embarrassment. Of course it was.

This was something that should not have happened. Not with two adults of similar age who shared so many liberties with each other; spending time in each other’s arms at night, well…

You felt awkward all over. What if—what if you’d done something in your sleep? What if you said something?

And he already wasn’t meeting your eyes as he climbed out of the bed and awkwardly made his way into his bathroom.

You could hear the sound of the running water faucet and the door closed with the smallest click like he went out of his way to close it as softly and quietly as possible to avoid disturbing you any further.

You could feel the heat burning on the skin of your cheeks and you used his absence to get up and get out of his bedroom before he came out and found you still, still tangled in his bed sheets like you’d been tangled in his legs and in his arms all night.

You had to ignore this. You had to forget it ever happened, and anyway, you were best friends with the guy...right? Wasn't this thing bound to happen in the course of a friendship? What if you went on a holiday with him and the hotel only had one bed? These things really did happen, you read about it on twitter once. Would you be that asshole best friend who let him sleep on the floor just because he was a man? No! You could build a little pillow wall between your bodies and sleep as still and motionless as possible, like a corpse.

This feeling would go away. The red hot embarrassment would wash down the drain of your shower. The sticky warmth left behind by his skin would go with it.

You’d made it as far as to undress and turn on the hot water when an awful memory dawned on you.

Baekhyun still had your shampoo.

You didn't have any other shampoo in this bathroom that you could use. You pulled open cupboards and drawers, searching for anything; tiny hotel sized travel bottles, a nearly empty bottle under the sink for a rainy day, even maybe something in the trash can that still had a few drops. Nothing.

You eyed the hand soap on your sink and pictured stepping out of the shower a frizzy, tangled mess.

A soft knock vibrated against your bathroom door.

“Bug, your shampoo.” Baekhyun’s voice called out, muffled by the sounds of the running water and the door itself, “it’s almost empty, but there’s a little left. Sorry, I’ll run to the store and get more.”

Your ear was pressed against the door so you could make out everything he said; so you could listen carefully to the tone and delivery of his words to see if he was still embarrassed about last night or if he’d brush it off easily like he did most things that seemed to bother him.

There were another two soft knocks, “B-Bug?”

“Yeah, Peanut, thank you. Can you just...put it by the door. I’m already undressed. I’ll grab it in a bit.”

He did not respond right away and you stayed with your ear against the door waiting for some sound. Some indication that he had left. The click of your door, anything.

“I left it by the door,” you heard his far away voice shout and then the click of your door.

When your shower was done and you were dressed in your favorite weekend outfit, the high waisted comfy shorts with pockets and a cute top that made you feel somewhat pretty even on a casual day and you emerged from your bedroom feeling ready to face whatever weird moods or wacky situations accosted you today.

You found him singing a song to himself in the kitchen as he made something that smelled delicious for breakfast. The radio was on a pop station that played hits from all the past decades and the upbeat rhythm of the song that played was a definite favorite that had him dancing at the stove.

It was a groovy little love song, quite old now that you thought about it and you felt the beat hit hard in your chest with each pop of his shoulders and hips. The joy you could feel in this song hit you just like that beat hit; heavy and prominent, and you smiled wide to welcome this morning mood it brought with it.

When you stepped into the kitchen to grab a mug to make yourself some coffee you couldn’t help but sing along to the song, you loved the song as much as he did and when he noticed you enter the room you could hear him singing the main parts; expertly, even though the singer was a woman, his voice could always reach the high notes as well as the low ones. She was the kind of epic singer with one of a kind of talent that was world dominating. Baekhyun was singing along, doing the same kinds of ad-libs and vocal runs that she did and he did it while holding the spatula up to his face like a microphone.

As you walked by he dipped his head and looked into your face and his eyes caught ahold of yours. You knew what was coming. You could hear it coming in the song, the chorus. The part you had to sing. These were the rules. He leaned hard and brought the spatula up to your lips just in time for your part to come on. You did not disappoint. You gave it your all closing your eyes up tight and throwing your head back, singing from the very center of you, this part you always sang during this song. The part that was made for you; he knew it and you knew it.

His smile was genuine and breathtaking and he grabbed your hand with his spatula-less hand and pulled you into him, the beat taking over whatever bit of nervousness he might have had before. This was different. This was dancing. This was singing to simply the best song for a Saturday morning and it was moving and laughing with your best friend and you let him spin you in a small circle, careful to keep your coffee mug lifted so it didn’t hit anything during the spin.

His sense of rhythm was perfect. His hips moved as if they were made for this. You had no choice but to follow. An occasional hand on your hip told you where to go. The song was reaching its peak and you knew it was a short one. The best ones always were. It was going to begin winding down now. It was always such a sweet and short lived moment of happiness that you always appreciated immensely.

As a final move, he gave you a little spin and released you to go on your way toward the coffee maker you so desperately wanted to get to when you first entered this kitchen.

He finished the eggs with the last notes of the song.

As you both sat down to eat, his eyes met yours and yours met his and you dug into the eggs and bacon he’d prepared. You offered him a perfectly buttered toast slice and he took it, nodding his head as he bit into the crisp corner.

“So Bug,” he spoke up between bites of eggs, chewing and swallowing thoughtfully, “about this...Candy.”

You swallowed the hot coffee in your mouth and clasped your hands together, suddenly remembering how asleep he had been when you had hit it off with Candy, his practice girl.

He listened to your explanation. Your theory that the stakes were simply too high with Mia and he needed someone to talk to that was a bit more of a relaxed task for him. You called it easy mode so he might get the game reference. He ate and listened to you talk and occasionally his eyebrows would lift or screw together with whatever sorts of thoughts he was thinking inside his head. You could tell by his body language that he didn't exactly want to start something with Candy and you had to emphasize that it was really just for practice, talking to her. It was to help build his confidence.

“She’s already in, Peanut. She thinks you’re super cool, she thinks you’re rich and thinks you have a very good job and plus, you make lots of money and she seems super into that.”

He was not speaking yet, despite how much you had talked and you were beginning to get worried that he didn’t see the benefit of practicing his conversation skills a little bit.

“It’s not even real, Baek, you just have to make some things up with her. Just to get over that anxiety about talking to women. Just until you are more comfortable.”

When he finally did speak, it was as you feared.

“It just feels kinda gross, Bug. She’s a real person too, even if she is obviously a gold digger. It just seems wrong. I’ve been...thinking lately. What if this is...wrong of us?”

“What if I just have to tough it out with Mia and get the fuck over it and just,” he thrust his hands forward over the food on the table for emphasis, “just — blehhhh — talk, just fucking talk to her.”

You lifted a fork with eggs toward your lips but your stomach protested. You suddenly didn't want any more food. The coffee you were drinking had suddenly gone too cold for your liking and you pushed the plate and mug away from you with your fingertips.

You were bothered.

Why did he choose right now to suddenly grow a conscience about this? Did he forget that Mia was chatting with both of you and not just him?

“I...I just — I want to try with Mia. I know I can get over it and talk to her. And I don't want to talk to Candy. The person Candy thinks I am, well...that’s just false. I can’t be the person she’s expecting me to be.”

He had obviously read through the entire conversation with Candy last night and found the tales you told simply too stretched out for him to try and live up to.

“But that’s what people do when they start dating. They stretch the truth, make themselves sound just a little bit better, make themselves taller, or make themselves look richer. They all do this.” You simply could not understand why he didn’t get this. Why he didn’t just play by the rules that everyone followed to get through the door so he could stand a chance here.

“Well I don't. I don't want someone to fall for a fake version of me. I want someone to like me now. This me. Byun Baekhyun. The Peanut with anxiety who lives with Bug who almost killed him over a cheese stick, but who makes really great toast.”

He was smiling now, joking about the funny memories. You pulled your lips into a forced smile and lifted the coffee for another drink so you didn't have to smile any more.

He was watching your face. You were sure he sensed it. Something had bothered you to the point of giving up on your breakfast and every pass your eyes made over his face led to the same thing. He was watching you.

“Why are you upset?”

You shook your head lightly. Willing the obvious signs to leave your face. You didn't even know why. You didn't have a name for this. So you just shrugged in response to him.

“Because I don't want to practice on Candy? Did you actually like her for me?”

You really made your best attempt. You inhaled deep and closed your eyes and you shook your head.

Candy did not matter and you knew it. There was something ugly inside of you maybe. Something that did not want Baekhyun to get along with perfect Mia. Something that was fighting against the idea of him being happy and healthy and free of this unhealthy attachment you had to him. Free and happy away from you.

“Then why?”

Enough. You were being unfair to him. You had promised him that you would help him. You had gotten him this far and you’d be the worst kind of asshole if you didn't see him through to the end; if you didn't follow through with your promise to find him someone who would love him like he deserved to be loved, exactly as he was now. The amazingly wonderful Byun Baekhyun.

“It’s nothing like that,” you smiled softly. It felt like a sad smile, but at least it was genuine. “I just worry when you get so anxious. You know you fell right asleep last night. As soon as I came in, you passed right out.”

Your words skillfully slipped out of your lips and you successfully changed the subject. You felt like a coward, but you simply did not have words for what was happening to you.

“I didn’t...say anything did I? Before I fell asleep?”

This question was quiet. His fingertips grazed over his lips as he asked it, nearly muffling the words he shyly asked you at the breakfast table, the morning after.

You are so fucking beautiful.

You are so fucking beautiful.

You lifted your coffee cup to drink the tepid liquid inside and dropped your eyes from his shaking ones. The answer to his question sat on the back of your tongue even after you swallowed away the liquid.

You swallowed again and it refused to budge and yet you sat in silence, unable to utter a single word in reply to his quiet question.

Your silence went on for too long and he looked up into your face. An instant smile lifted at the corner of your lips and you forced it up into your eyes.

“You just slept, Peanut. We—” you had to exhale the breath that you had been holding for too long in your lungs, “we just slept.”

 Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

Tag list: @j-pping  @blahblahblah-boo  @his-mochi-cheeks  @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13  @baekinmylife  @insta1010  @nana-banana  @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth  @totallynerdstuff  @byunbabybaek @maijinki @bbyunz@theclawofaraven

#Baekhyun #Exo #Baekhyun fic #Exo fic #Baekhyun smut #Baekhyun fluff #Exo smut #Exo fluff #Baekhyun fanfic #Baekhyun ff #Baekhyun fanfiction #exo fiction #baekhyun fiction #exo ff #exo fanfiction #exo series #baekhyun series

[librapjmx]

remember, my love | o1

summary: after a car accident the love of your life loses his memory. you’re deciding to keep shut about your relationship and make him remember your relationship on his own. somehow, you start to regret not telling him in first place

member: hoseok x reader

"Accidents sometimes affect a patient's mind so much that they either lose their memory or remember things very faintly."

You took a deep breath at the words of the doctor while squeezing the hand of Hoseok's mother from behind. She was sitting on the chair and you stood behind her, comforting her in the doctor's consulting room. You bit your lip as your gaze dropped to his father's place who was sitting next to his wife.

"Medically, this state is called retrograde amnesia. Patients like them lead a normal life, but they can't remember their past..." he stopped mid-sentence as he took a deep breath preparing on how to tell you, "That's just what happened to your son."

"Doctor, please just tell us what he has!" Hosoek's mother sobbed in pain.

The doctor bit his lower lip as he took a pen to play along. Indeed, he was slightly nervous and was worried about your reactions but as a doctor, he must tell you even if it's the worst news he can give to you.

"He lost his memory."

The whole world stopped right in front of you and your smile dropped. The smile which was caused by Hoseok's eyes moving and opening while you held his hand tightly. Just as he pecked his eyes open you ran up to the doctor, yelling out of happiness. It's insane how fast one's emotions can change by single words. Your vision became blurry and you stepped back, your back hitting the wall behind you.

"He doesn't remember me? His parents? His sister? Anyone?" You mumbled, your hand reaching out to the chair in front of you. You felt yourself getting dizzy as you supported yourself on the chair from not passing out.

"With great difficulty, we have convinced him that you are his family." He added, trying to make you all feel slightly better.

"Doctor, when will he regain his memory?" His sister Dawon asked, sounding extremely calm which was slightly penetrating. The day you told her about his accident she went crazy and threw all the things around her in anger and sorrow. She was crying her eyeballs out and now, she was calm which made you worry about her.

"It might take days, months or even years or maybe he will never regain his memory at all. He might have to spend a lifetime in this state. Nothing can be said for sure." The doctor was switching gazes between you four.

"We do try to make patients regain their memory by reminding them of past incidents. But you must be careful. Keep in mind that the slightest bit of pressure on his mind can drive him insane! He could suffer a brain hemorrhage. He could even die!" His tone was deadly serious, and he didn't mind telling you this ugly truth to protect his patient.

You closed your eyes as you let the tears fall, making you feel the pain even harder. You felt like it was your fault.

"If possible, take him to a place where his memories lay. His hometown, anywhere. Try to remind him of any old incidents." Suddenly, the doctor laid his eyes on you. Your heart jumped in fear as you realized that you were part of his past. You would be part of his future as well but now that you're not even in his past you must be a part of his present. But, can you tell him that you are his girlfriend? Would it cause damage? You didn't want to cause more harm and damage than he already had to go through.

"When will he be discharged?" You asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"He still has to recover fully but it will take at least two to three days." He nodded. You all left the office with sad expressions written all over your faces. In front of Hoseok's door, his best friend Namjoon waited. Once you made eye contact with Namjoon you smiled faintly. Before Hoseok's mother went in you held her back.

You thought deeply about this and weren't sure if you had to or if it was a decision you made abruptly. No matter what, you wanted him to be healthy and happy again even if his happiness excluded you.

"I don't want to tell him that I'm his girlfriend. Not now." You said, looking at the ground. You felt Namjoon's gaze on you as Hoseok's mother nodded, wanting to see her son as soon as possible. Indeed, you knew that this was the last thing she had to worry about now. No matter how much his parents like you, their son is more precious than anything else in this world. You knew that they are accepting and tolerant of your decision and that they never ask why. As for now, it was important for you to keep them shut about your relationship. The two of them went in and you looked up into the questioning gazes of Dawon and Namjoon.

"What are you doing? How can you not tell him something important like that?" Dawon furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"You two shared five years together, you can't just erase those memories just because he can't remember." Namjoon stood up from the chair on which he was sitting on.

"I won't erase them," you assured him and turned around to the door as you looked through the small window, seeing him trying to smile at his parents, "I don't want to pressure him in spending time with me. For him, a stranger. I don't want him to come to our shared flat and make him sleep next to a person which he has no feelings or connections with." You felt your throat burning as you wanted to cry out all the pain.

"Bullshit!" Dawon exclaimed and grabbed your shoulder to turn you around.

"Hoseok was head over heels for you! He won't forget the love of his life and the girl he wanted to propose to if it weren't for that fucking accident!" Her voice was quiet hoarse as if she was about to break down. Your heart dropped as you remembered the night where his accident happened.

He called you, telling you that he wanted to meet you badly. You were working and happy that your shift was ending in a couple of hours. If it weren't for you to ask him to pick you up, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Perhaps, the two of you would be snuggling up to each other. Now, you knew why he was so nervous when he called you. At the same time, he sounded so happy and joyful. If it weren't for that accident you two would've made plans for your marriage.

He wanted to propose ...

You started to chuckle loudly, in between sobs and cries, not sure how to feel about this whole situation right now. You turned around to the window, your hands reaching out to him but only touching the cold glass of the window. He shouldn't be lying there. You bit your lip as your gaze landed on your hand, examining the ring finger where his proposal ring should be lying on. The ache in your heart was indescribable. You wanted to cry, but no tears left your eyes. Instead, you started smiling widely as you turned around to Namjoon and Dawon.

"I don't know what destiny decided. If we are really meant for each other or not." You looked at Dawon, "Hoseok has lost his memory and since I and his love for me are part of his memory, he will most likely forget about me as well." Biting your lip, you furrowed your eyebrows.

"If our love is meant to be then I'm sure that fate will bring us together again. If I really have a special place in his heart he will remember me. I'm sure he will. But I want him to decide at the end." You clarified, sounding determined about your decision.

"But what if..." Namjoon started but you shut him off by holding out your hand and shaking your head. You knew that if anything goes wrong and he doesn't love you again, you must let him go.

"Just please accept my decision for now. I don't want to pressure him. I just want him to fall in love with me again and not being forced to love me just because we tell him that I'm his girlfriend." The two of them nodded quite frustrated because they didn't want you to suffer from heartbreak if life chooses a different direction for him.

You turned around again and opened the door, going into the nursing room. He heard someone entering the room and investigated your direction. His eyes lit up and you smiled softly at him which he tried to return.

"Hey, Hoseok" Dawon waved her hands at him and took his hands in hers. She grinned widely at him, her eyes were red from crying as she looked at his face.

"Dawon" He breathed out and for a slight moment you thought that he regained his memory, but you remembered the doctor saying that they convinced him of who his family is. She wrapped her fragile arms around his neck as she hugged him wholeheartedly. Slowly, she leaned back and stepped back, letting him get to know you and Namjoon.

"Hoseok, that's Namjoon. Your best friend." Namjoon didn't know what to do and he felt slightly embarrassed about his behavior. After all, it's really his best friend. Nonetheless, Hoseok gave Namjoon a wide smile in return as he nodded. Once his eyes land on you, his smile dropped, and he cleared his throat. Everyone had their gazes on you and waited for your answer, curiously.

"I'm Y/N ..." you mumbled, feeling the tears coming up and your throat burning from holding them back, "We're friends." He just nodded and tried to smile which didn't happen at all. You felt his stare not leaving your direction and you hoped that he tried to remember you. Little did you know that it wasn't happening.

"I, I will leave now. I'll visit you tomorrow again." You reached out your hand for Hoseok to shake it, but he remained confused. When he realized your gesture he hesitantly grabbed it. His warmth was giving you the relaxing feeling which he always gave you. When you came home from work, a little affection and skinship would be enough to calm your senses. Now, you had to start to relax on your own. Now, you had to get used to deal with situations on your own.

"I'll drop you at home," Namjoon said and you nodded, saying your goodbyes to his parents.

You and Namjoon left the hospital quietly, not talking to each other while hopping into his car. He grabbed the steering wheel firmly as he focused on the road. The thought of his best friend losing his memory, was a miserable feeling. He felt powerless and hoped for his best friend to recover as soon as possible. To remember the old times, their childhood and their friendship.

"He will be okay..." you assured him, trying to calm him down since you felt him being tense overall. He chuckled, the sorrow was written in his cracking voice.

"I hope so."

Somehow, you felt a little selfish. Of course, the first thing you want is Hoseok to regain his memory. Nonetheless, it was an awful accident and he was lucky to survive. Him living is more important than him loving you. If he takes his breath, in and out, you'll be able to love him. You'll be able to see him anytime you want to.

"We have to be there for him, no matter what. We must help him regain his memory and remember all the beautiful moments we all shared together. He always made sure to give us hope and now, it's our turn to give him hope in recovering." You said, seeing your shared house with Hoseok from your angle.

"He is so lucky to have you..." Namjoon breathed out after he stopped the car in front of your flat.

"To be honest, I'm lucky to have him." You smiled at Namjoon, thanking him for dropping you home. You got out of the car and waved to him as he drove off.

Taking a deep breath, you turned around, slowly. You started at your door, approaching it while you remembered the time you agreed in moving together. He was so joyous and gleeful that he started looking for a flat. You left it for him to decide because you trusted his taste and eventually you started loving the one he chooses. You opened the door and felt the warmth surrounding your body as soon as you stepped a foot in your home.

Your shared home.

-

"Did you pack all of your belongings?" Namjoon asked through the phone speaker, you could hear the hurry in his voice.

"Yes, I'm waiting for you." You said as he assured you that he would be picking you up in less than 20 minutes.

You weren't going on a holiday trip or on a business trip. You were leaving with Hoseok and his family to his hometown. Gwangju.

A  couple days after his recovery, Hoseok's father decided to leave for  his hometown in hope to have him regain his memory again. Gwangju is  where his childhood lays and where his memories began. You pretty much  knew everything about him but no details about his past life, you didn't  ask him because you didn't think his past was necessary at all since  you loved the present Hoseok.

Of course, you wanted to help him  regain his memories and on the top of that, you couldn't let him go all  alone since you had a mission. The mission, to make him love you again.  Love ...

Your phone vibrated, signaling you to come out to leave.  Namjoon and you drove separately from the Jung family. The distance from  Seoul to Gwangju was far that's why you booked tickets to fly for less  than an hour to his hometown.

"You got everything?" Namjoon asked  while he helped you put the suitcases in the luggage space. You nodded,  smiling widely at him.

"Have you ever been to Gwangju?" Namjoon asked, focusing on the road in front of him.

"Before  his parents moved to Seoul we went there a few times. But the last time  was probably two years ago." You stared at your fingers which were  laying on your lap while you played with them.

"Are you worried?"  He asked, noticing the tension between you two. You and Namjoon were  good friends since you started dating Hoseok. He always supported you  two and helped you to get along with each other. Even when both of your  had arguments and didn't talk to each other, he made sure to bring both  of you together. He always was a helping hand, as a friend for you and  as a brother for Hoseok. That's why you hoped for the two of them to get   used to each other again.

"I'm fine." You lied. You weren't fine at all. Not when Hoseok was suffering and forgetting about his past.

You  got out of the car and took your luggage before you went to the airport  to meet the others at the check-in. From behind you saw Hoseok and his  sister talking to each other. He was laughing at something she said.  Something in your stomach started twirling at the sight of his  expressions, the way he laughed wholeheartedly at her. After the day  where the doctor told you that he is suffering from amnesia, you made  sure to visit him as long as he had to be hospitalized. You tried to  keep the contact, calling him and asking how he was. Just like two  strangers. After they decided to leave Seoul for Gwangju, you left  everything behind and agreed in accompanying them. That was a good way  to spend time with him.

You greeted his parents after Namjoon and  you gave the check-in your luggage and took your boarding pass. Turning  around to Dawon, you wrapped your arms around her and hugged her  tightly.

"I'm glad you will accompany us." She whispered into your ear and leaned back.

You  turned to Hoseok, smiling at him while he gave you a wide smile. He  didn't change at all. He was always so warm and gentle towards other  people.

"Destination: Gwangju. All passengers on Korean Air must  go to the gate. The plane will begin boarding in 10 minutes." The woman  called out from the speakers and all of you gathered around the  departures lounge to find the right gate, written on your boarding pass.

After  getting on the plane you sat down, right next to Namjoon who was on the  side of the window. When you turned your head to look behind you, you  saw Hoseok sitting right behind you, on the other side. He was next to  his sister and stared down at the phone, swiping left and right.  Probably looking at some pictures. Your eyes meet Dawon's who started  mouthing some words. You furrowed your eyebrows, not understanding what  she was referring to. Then she started pointing towards your seat and  hers. You observed the people next to you, signaling yourself that she  was referring to you and wanted to switch seats. You shook your head   hesitantly, but she stood up.

"Y/N, let's switch seats, I have to  talk to Namjoon!" She lied, passing by Hoseok and running up to you. You  shook your head, but she grabbed your arms as she helped you up. Once  you were on your feet, she pushed you to sit down, giving the confused  Namjoon a wide smile.

"The passengers are asked to sit down and  take their seatbelts on. Ready for takeoff!" The speaker said, and you  had no other chance than to sit down next to Hoseok who was just as  confused as Namjoon. You sighed, letting yourself fall into the seat  while putting on your seatbelt.

"As a friend, you're not that happy to be able to sit next to me..." Hoseok chuckled, concentrating on the seatbelt.

"No,  it's not like that. It's just-" you stopped mid-sentence, trying to  think of a good answer. To be honest, you didn't know why you were  afraid of facing him- "It's just that I don't want you to feel  uncomfortable."

"Nah, I'm good." He clarified, staring into your eyes with a huge grin, "We're friends after all."

Friends.

You  nodded, smiling a little at him. You had to get easier next to him,  simply calmer and more comfortable. After all, he still was the man whom  you love. It felt strange to not be able to hold his hands or kiss him  whenever you want.

"Y/N?" Ah, the way he said your name was music to your ears.

"Hm?"

"Can  you tell me something about us?" He plainly asked, not hesitating. As  much as you were afraid of this question, you waited for it to come out.  That day was today. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you turned  around to him.

"Us?" Oh, I could tell you so much about us.

He  nodded. You didn't want to lie to him so much and maybe your real  encounter would help him to remember even the slightest bit. The only  lie he will think of a truth as is you being his "friend".

"We,"  Using the pronoun to specify the two of you and reassuring that there is  something between you to, means a lot to you, "As if it was planned by  fate." You started, thinking back to the time where you left the huge  building in which you were working in.

Walking up to the coffee  shop in which you were always spending your lunch break. You were  working on in a radio show as a radio presenter in 'iwishradio'. It was a  tough week since a huge scandal broke down and with that two actors got  married and you tried everything to get them to your radio show for  more quotas and listeners.

Once you entered the shop, you  were greeted by the part-time worker Yunji who was a high-school senior,  trying to earn money for her college entry. You smiled at her, stopping  behind a man who was ordering his coffee. You looked up at his head  from behind. He seemed to be very tall that's why you stepped aside to  have a look at the sweets they were selling along with the coffee.

"That's 5,000 Won, Mister," Yunji said, pushing the buttons on the cash register and waiting for the man to pay.

When  it took too long you decided to side eye the man who was touching his  chest and went through his jacket. You looked up and stared up at him,  wondering what the issue was. He let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"Where  is my purse-" he grabbed into his pockets, not finding anything- "I'm  sure I've brought it with myself..." His head turned to the side, noticing  that someone stood by. At that moment, his blood rushed up to his  cheeks, shading it in a soft pink as his eyes met your confused ones.

"Ah, excuse me, please go on until I find my purse." He stuttered in a small panicky voice.

You bowed slightly, thanking him for letting you get your coffee.

"Yunji,  I'll take the Americano as always." You said, turning around to the man  who was still struggling to find his purse. You pulled out your own  purse and turned around to Yunji, handing her money.

"Can  you take the Misters coffee on me?" You asked, handing her more money to  pay the coffee of the struggling man. You turned around to the man and  smiled, "It once happened to me as well, so don't worry about it."

He  bowed his head and smiled softly, slightly embarrassed "Thank you.  Please let me pay you back-" you cut him off, reaching for the two  coffee cups and handing him one- "Don't worry about it. It's okay, it's  on me."

He grabbed the coffee, biting his lip as he felt himself getting even more awkward.  

You  looked at your wrist, checking the time, "I have to leave already!  Enjoy your coffee, Mister!" You took off, realizing that you had an  interview ahead which you couldn't attend late. Once you reached the  building you ran up the stairs of the huge building, reaching the  presenters' room. You took a sip of your coffee as you sat down on your  chair, placing the earbuds on your ears. You stared at your director,  waiting for their signal for your start.

He had a wide grin on his face, enjoying the story you told him.

"That's  it?" He asked when you stopped telling him about the rest. You  swallowed hard because after that it wasn't fate who brought you  together. It was the choice of you two over time, but you didn't know  how to tell him that in a non-romantic way.

The next day was a   cold winter day. It wasn't snowing but rather was it outstandingly windy  and the sky was dark and grey as if it was about to rain on the first  day of February. Showing you that winter is slowly disappearing. You  pressed your coat tightly against your chest as you entered the coffee  shop.

"The same?" Yunji as you gave her a slight nod,  rubbing your hands together. Just as you wanted to pay her, someone  reached out to the cashier and handed her the money. A shadow appeared  next to you and you looked to your side. That's when you noticed the man  from yesterday. Your mouth dropped as you wanted to say something.

"It's on me today." He smiled, taking the cup of coffee to hand it to you. You smiled as you gladly accepted his repay.

"Thanks."  Nodding, you went up to an empty chair next to the huge window,  watching the people passing by. Slowly, you started nipping at your  coffee as you examined the sky, getting a feeling that it will rain any  minute soon.

You were brought back to reality once you  heard a chair being pulled back and the man from earlier sitting down in  front of you.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you leaned back, "Excuse me?" You mumbled, not sure of what he wanted from you.

"It's  sad to see people sitting alone, I like to accompany them-" he  clarified, bringing his coffee up to his mouth as he stared out the  window to watch the people.

You opened your mouth but  closed it right away, not knowing what to say. It was a gentle move of  him and talking down to that would be no good, so you let it slide. You  had a cheeky smile plastered on your face as you looked out the window,  not wanting him to see your smile.

"Oh," your eyes widened  in confusion as the first raindrops fell on the window, "Isn't it too  soon to rain already?" you questioned, sighing. How will you be able to  walk in the rain without getting wet?

"Then, I will get   going first," you said, standing up. When you reach the building, you   had to make sure to get plenty of time to dry. You said your goodbye to Yunji as you stood in front of the entry, wondering how you will reach your destiny.

"Why did you make it rain now?" You looked  up at the sky, obviously talking to God in your sorrow. You didn't want  to get wet but still, you had to appear on time.

"Okay.  Close your eyes and run!" You mumbled to yourself. Just as you wanted to  shut your eyes, you saw an umbrella opening in front of you. You winced  since you were startled by the sudden move. Once you looked up, you saw  the man from earlier holding an umbrella above you.

"Where are you heading to? I will accompany you." He said, staring straight into your eyes. He sure was a head taller than you.

"Ah, Mister, you really don't have to do that-" he cut you off.

"You  will be soaked in water if you don't take the chance to reach your  destiny dryly." He had a huge grin on his lips as watched you biting  your lower lip.

"Iwishradio station." You swallowed hard  as you turned your head, embarrassed to look into his eyes since his  face was too close for your pleasure. He nodded as the two of you left  for your workplace.

"Are you working there?" He asked and you nodded.

"I'm a radio presenter of iwishradio." You added and his eyes lit up.

"Oh!  Are you perhaps Y/F/N?" Your name left his lips so casually and you  felt how your heart jumped at his excitement. You nodded.

"I  love your format. The interview, your topics, it's so entertaining and  nice to listen to your decent voice." He started praising your show and  you felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment.

"Thank you for listening..." you mumbled in a soft voice.

You  reached the building fast and you wondered if you were at your  workplace this fast as well or if it was the illusion of time passing  fast.

"Thank you for your company. In the shop and until here..." you bowed slightly.

He  pulled out his hand before you left, "Hoseok. Jung Hoseok." Your eyes  landed on his hand as you hesitantly reached out for it. His warm hands  surrounded yours, giving you a soft feeling of affection and warmth on  this cold day. His gently squeeze was giving you the feeling that this  wouldn't be your last encounter.

You looked out the window and observed the breathtaking view of Gwangju as the plane was making itself ready to land.

"After  that, we met often in the coffee shop and eventually we became  friends." You brought a cut to your beginning, shorting it down to more  than a half and changing it. Once he will remember you will make sure  that he will remember the genuine rest himself. Until then the rest of  your encounter must be kept a secret. After that greeting and after you  two exchanging names your story began, not as friends but as more.

"You must be a really good friend." You heard Hoseok mumbling. You turned your head to look at him in confusion.

"What?"

"I  mean..." his gaze dropped down on his fingers, "Thank you!" He declared,  looking up into your eyes, "Thank you for coming all the way to my  hometown only to help me to regain my memories. I must've been a lucky  person to have friends like you and Namjoon." He said with a note of  relief, a huge smile plastered on his face. You returned his smile,  holding yourself back from hugging him. Turning your head to the window,  you watched how the plane landed on its gate.

You left the airport after taking your luggage and waiting for a  taxi. Hoseok's family wanted you to stay in their old apartment together  with them. You insisted on renting a good and cheap place, but they  disapproved that's why you and Namjoon followed their taxi. While you  and Dawon would be sharing a room, Namjoon and Hoseok would share a room  together. How you wished to be in Namjoon's position.

Once you  settled down, you started unpacking your items. Dawon decided to take  Hoseok out so she could show him a little around. You cleaned your room  and helped Dawon with her luggage. At that moment, someone knocked  lightly on the door.

"Yes?" You called out, your eyes on the clothes which you were folding and putting into the wardrobe.

You  turned around as you heard the person falling on the mattress which was  lying on the ground. Namjoon took a deep breath as if he was relieved  to finish his room up.

"What's up?" you giggled, concentrating on your clothes.

"I  finished." You saw from the corner of your eye that he turned his body  into your direction while supporting his head with his hand. "So, what's  your plan?" He questioned. You furrowed your eyebrows as you turned  around.

"Plan? What plan?" You asked.

"The 'Make Hoseok Fall In Love With Me Again'-Plan" He pointed out, showing you the question marks with his fingers.

You bit your lip and put the last clothing into the wardrobe before turning around and sitting down in front of him.

"I actually have no idea." You remarked, groaning loudly as you let your back touch the wall behind you.

"You're a genius Y/N." He suggestively eyed you in a mocking way.

"I know right!" You replied with a huge mark of sarcasm. He sighed as he sat up straight to look into your eyes.

"How  about you spend some time with him? Alone. You and him?" It didn't feel  like a statement, more like a question which he wanted to get answered.

"I'm afraid-"you admitted.

"Of what?"

"I'm afraid to face the reality." You whispered, looking blankly into the emptiness.

"What  reality? Y/N, you have to face it, to find the reality!" He encouraged  and of course you knew that he was right. You were in a long and deep  relationship with Hoseok and you're afraid that he wouldn't remember  your past at all. You were afraid of him not loving you, but your  mission was to make him love you again and that's why you had to fight.  Fight for his love.

"You're right Namjoon! I really have to do it." You said and stood up.

"Where are you going?" He asked you as you chuckled.

"I'm hungry, you're coming with me?" He was a little startled but stood up and followed you.

After  finishing your meal, you waited for Hoseok and his sister to arrive  since it was pretty late already. Tomorrow would be your day, you  thought. The doorbell rang, and you ran up to the door, greeting the  siblings who entered the house with a grin plastered on their faces.

"You're late." Hoseok's mother stated, looking at the time.

"We  caught up with someone," Dawon said and sat down next to her mother.  Dawon's mother furrowed her eyebrows as she waited for Dawon to speak.

"Kim  Chaeyeong? Do you remember her?" She asked. Mrs. Jung narrowed her eyes  as she tried to come up with a picture of a face, fitting to the name.  Once she remembered, her eyes lit up.

"Kim Chaeyeong? Hoseok's high school friend?" She said with conviction and Dawon nodded.

"And  guess what?" She looked at Hoseok who approached his mother slowly,  "Hoseok remembered her!" She beamed as his mother stared at Hoseok, eyes  filling with tears. Never in her life would she believe that Hoseok  would start doing progress in such a small amount of time. She was proud  of him.

"I just remembered her as a person in my life, but I  really don't remember what we did in the past or any other memories with  her, to be honest," Hoseok admitted, turning around to look at Namjoon  and you with a smile. You were happy about his small progress but  couldn't help but feel a little unimportant and agonized at his first  memory which was way back when you met him. You never heard of that name  in your life, so you thought that she wasn't important at all. Hoseok  would've told you about her if they were still friends even today.

"Ah  Dawon, you're tiring my son. Let him rest a little, yeah?" She  playfully hit her daughter's shoulder as she grabbed Hoseok's hand,  squeezing it firmly.

"I'm tired, to be honest." He admitted, stretching his arms.

"Let's  sleep then. Tomorrow will be a better day!" Dawon clapped in her hands  as she ran up to you and grabbed your arm to guide you to your room.  Once she entered the room, her jaw dropped down.

"Ah, my  sister-in-law is such a gracious human being. I'm lucky!" She wrapped  her arms around you before she threw herself on the mattress.

The word sister-in-law was making your heart flutter. You still pulled your index-finger in front of your lips to shush her. "Shh, he will hear!" You whispered and laid down yourself. Dawon didn't even change her clothes nor did she remove her make-up. Indeed, she was tired, and you didn't want to make a feel even more tired. You jumped into your pajamas and stared at the ceiling.

"Dawon?" You voiced in a casual tone.

"Hm?" You noticed that she was already half asleep.

"Who is Chaeyeong?" You asked her as you heard her shifting.

"Just  an old high-school friend of Hoseok" She mumbled, her face facing the  pillow, swallowing the words which left her mouth, "Don't worry. They're  just frie-" she couldn't finish her sentence since she fell asleep,  snoring softly. You giggled as you stood up to grab yourself a glass of  water.

"Hoseok?" You asked, a little startled once you entered the kitchen. He was looking out for something in the fridge.

"Y/N? Why are you still awake?" He questioned, closing the fridge.

"I wanted to grab a glass of water." You smiled, going up to the small cupboard to get yourself a cup. "What about you?"

"I,  I was hungry." He scratched his neck a little flustered about his  answer. You chuckled slightly, remembering how he always went up to the  fridge to grab a late-night snack. You nipped on the glass of water.

"Should, should I prepare something for you?" You asked hesitantly but he shook his hands in front of you.

"No, I, I will do it myself-"He started but you cut him off.

"It's not like I prepare food for you the first time at this hour..." You accidentally spluttered.

"Excuse me?" He surely was confused about your words. Your eyes widened as you realized what you've just said.

"I,  I mean we're friends. Of course, I prepared meals for you, as well as  for Namjoon and other friends and family who mean a lot to me." You're such a fool Y/N.

He  chuckled, being really overwhelmed by your decent behavior. You turned  around as you grabbed some ingredients to cook for a single person. He  was quiet, and you made him some ramen which was the fastest and easiest  meal you could prepare, to leave immediately. As if you two were  strangers, you tried to make yourself feel easier and comfortable around  him without getting flustered at all.

"Thank you, Y/N!" He sat down, grabbing the chopsticks.

"Enjoy your meal!" You mumbled, smiling softly at him which he returned.

Before you left, you turned around again. "Hoseok?"

"Hm?"

"Can  you perhaps leave an empty space in your busy schedule-" You looked up  into his eyes –" For me?" Biting your lip, you waited for his answer. He  giggled softly.

"With pleasure." He breathed out, smiling widely at you.

"Thank you!" The huge grin on your face wasn't leaving as you went back into your room, lying down on the mattress.

Everything will be fine ...

The  next morning you woke up to Dawon, throwing her clothes from one side  to the other side of the room. Just as you wanted to sit up straight,  you were thrown by a cloth on your face. Wincing at the sudden darkness,  you sighed as you grabbed the cloth and threw it back to Dawon.

"What are you doing this early?" You rubbed your eyes after you looked at the time which showed 7am.

"The earlier one wakes up, the better the day gets." She pointed out as you stood up.

"Bullshit!  My day was never good when I woke up at 6am for school!" You clarified  and scratched your back, bending down a little. You narrowed your eyes,   trying to get used to the light which surrounded you as you fully   concentrated on the scratch on your back.

"Morning girls!" You   heard Hoseok's voice from behind you, making you jump from his sudden   appearance. You felt the heat rising and your cheeks redden. Normally,   you wouldn't think about it and start being your casual self next to him  but now, you two were only friends who try to build up their   relationship.

"M-Morning!" You greeted him, but he was already  gone. You heard soft laughter from behind you and turned around to Dawon  who was hiding her face from laughing too much.

"What's so funny?" You asked, stepping closer to her.

"Well, you two don't feel like a normal couple-"you cut her off, throwing your hands in the air.

"Well,  excuse me. My boyfriend lost his memory." She shook her head at your  statement and turned around to look for a nice outfit.

"Yah! The  yellow shirt in your hand is mine!" You called out before leaving the  room to take a warm shower and changing into some nice and comfy  clothes.

The breakfast table was surrounded by every family  member, enjoying their meal comfortably. You sat down next to Mrs. Jung  as you started eating. Nobody talked while eating, making the  comfortable enjoyment turn into an awkward atmosphere. Suddenly, the  doorbell rang. Just as you wanted to stand up, Hoseok held out his hand,  stopping you.

"It's probably Chaeyeong. She wanted to hang out with me-" He put the last bit in his mouth before leaving the table.

You  licked your lips as you pressed them together, watching his empty seat.  Your gaze went to Namjoon, noticing the confusion in his expressions.

That's  exactly how all the other days went by. It was either Hoseok spending  time with Chaeyong or Chaeyong with him. He was barely home and forgot  about his promise. Even though you asked him about the empty space, he  promised to spend time with you the next day. On the next day, he was  again busy with his high-school friend. If this was helping him to  regain his memory, then you didn't want to stop him. He was getting  happier and each day he remembered the old times in Gwangju and you  hoped for him to remember the past in Seoul, so you would appear again.  The woman he wanted to propose to.

One day you went into his room and leaned on the doorframe. He was texting on his phone, smiling widely at the screen.

"Hoseok?" You mumbled, approaching him slowly.

He looked up and lifted his eyebrows.

"Can  I take you away tomorrow?" You asked and waited for his answer. Little  did you know that he would cancel. Just as you wanted to turn around, he  chuckled.

"Sure thing!" Your eyes widened.

"Oh, ok!" you exclaimed and turned around.

Finally,  a day where the two of you could spend some time together. It wasn't as  if you two never talked to each other within these days. He was still  coming home, and you shared funny and joyful moments. Watching series  and dramas and even playing games with each other but not just the two  of you. It was always another family member of him who joined in. His  promise was an opportunity to let you two be alone.

You prepared a   picnic-date and told Namjoon to prepare beforehand. He woke up early   and went to the park to create a beautiful atmosphere while you picked   your outfit. Today was a nice weather and a warm day. That's why you   decided to wear a spring dress. Casual but cute and it was Hoseok's   favorite dress on you. A white dress with the purple pattern. He knocked  on your door and you turned around.

He stopped in astonishment,  staring at you as if he was thinking about something. You stood in front  of him, quietly, not trying to break his thoughts or the memories  connected with this dress. He furrowed his eyebrows and had a soft smile  plastered on his face. Just as you wanted to ask him what he thought  about, he shook his head.

"C'mon!" He exclaimed and turned around again.

You'll remember me Hoseok. You'll remember us!

He  took the bicycle and hopped on it. You sat behind him and hesitantly  wrapped your arms around his stomach. Slowly, you let your head lean on  his shoulder as you remembered the times the two of you bicycled  together. Sometimes he was picking you up with his bicycle from work and  the other days you were admiring the view. After telling him the  destination he drove off.

"So Hoseok, I hope you like picnicking!" You exclaimed from behind and heard a soft giggle from his lips.

"I  love that" he chuckled and from behind you saw the set picnic. To be  honest, if it weren't for the help of Namjoon then you wouldn't be able  to do that all.

You hopped off the bicycle and led him to the  small picnic-blanket, opening the casket and pulling out small meals  you've prepared. Actually, you didn't feel like eating at all, but you  just wanted his company. He let out a deep sigh as he let himself fall  on the blanket, lying down as he watched the sky.

"Such a  beautiful sight... at those time I really am thankful to be alive" he  mumbled and smiled as you watched him admiringly. You lied down, your  faces next to each other even though your bodies looked into opposite  directions. Indeed, it was so astonishing and beautiful.

"Look at  these birds, leaving their hometown and moving in a new direction to  start a new life, a new journey at their new place..." you mumbled,  examine the sky as you pointed at the birds which you were referring to.

"And  a new story..." Hoseok added and you turned your head to look at him, a  wide smile plastered on your face. "Like mine." Your smile dropped  faintly as you cleared your throat. His eyes weren't leaving the sky,  "After losing my memory, I am also moving in a new direction. I  sometimes wonder what my past was like. Was it better than what I have  now? Or did I lose something precious?" He chuckled, turning his head to  you, "And then, I laugh it off. What is lost, is not coming back. And  what I have, I don't want to lose."

He was looking deep into your soul and you were hoping that with the last part he meant you.

"Sometimes  the past doesn't return. What's left are our memories. And if there is  lying someone precious in your memories, then I'm sure they'll return to  your life." You assured him, hoping to give him a signal for a memory  in his past which both of you shared.

You two stood in the   position of only staring at each other until the grumbling of his   stomach broke the eye contact. The atmosphere filled with soft giggles   from you two and he stood up straight. He turned around to look at you   as a chuckle left his lips before he spoke.

"I guess it's time to eat."

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[allegra-writes]

"Bad Together"

Part I: Contact

Peter Parker x Reader

Teen and up

Warnings: language, UST.

"Baby, I'm preying on you tonight

Hunt you down, eat you alive

Just like animals"

Animals - Maroon 5

“Hey kid! Rough night? You look like shit…” 

You sighed, turning away from your door to face your neighbour. Had it been anyone else, you would just have given them the finger and gotten inside your apartment. But not her. Not when she could have information for you.

“Gee, thanks Jess! You do know how to sweet talk a girl.” 

The seemingly -deceptively- fragile brunette’s eyeroll could have rivaled your own signature one, as she kicked away from the wall and crossed the hallway in your direction.

“As if sweet talking would work on you…”

Despite your exhaustion and bad mood, you managed to munster a small sad smile as your mind wandered unbidden to another time, to what felt like another life. 

And to a boy with warm brown eyes and even warmer skin. 

"You'd be surprised…"

Jessica raised a questioning eyebrow, but you just shook your head.

"I have your payment, if that's what you're looking for…"

You said, changing the subject. Her face fell, causing your heart to drop to your stomach. You knew that look. The regret in her green eyes, the pity. You knew what she was going to say even before she opened her mouth. It wasn't really surprising after all: fourteen months without any clues, without any new developments or witnesses? She wanted to drop the case.

"Listen, kid-" 

"No" you cut her off, your voice breaking no arguments, "whatever you're going to say, I won't accept it. I pay you, and you keep on looking for my sister. That's how this works. Let's not fuck this beautiful friendship of ours up." 

You added, only partly sarcastic. You were perfectly aware that, as closed off and damaged as you both were, you were probably the closest thing to a friend either of you had. 

And, for her part, Jessica knew that, if she didn't do the dirty work for you, you would be the one crawling up vents and climbing up balconies, sliding your way into seedy bars and even seedier alleys. You were stubborn like that. And truth be told, she had grown a little protective of you.

She pursed her lips, the wheels turning inside her head. 

"Well then," she finally proposed, "What about you pay me when I actually find something worth paying for?"

It took your drowsy brain a moment to process her words. You were ashamed of the moisture that found its way to your eyes, the knot in your throat that didn't allow you to let out anything more than a weak "Jessica" as a reply. But you were too worn out to be able to keep the emotions at bay. It had been too long since anyone had shown you that type of kindness, gratefulness was not something you were used to feeling. 

"I'm not giving up on the case," she promised, "but I'm not taking your money anymore. At least not until I deserve it."

She was telling the truth, you knew her enough to be able to tell that. If anything, she was going to work even harder to try and get the investigation moving.

"Thank you." 

You really meant it.

"Don't mention it” she shrugged, downplaying it, like every good deed she made. "Now get inside and get some sleep. You look dead." 

You did roll your eyes at that, missing her affectionate smirk as you disappeared through the door, muttering a laconic. "Yes, mom."

The darkness and quiet that greeted you inside your apartment felt like a soothing balm to your over stimulated mind, a much needed respite after your long, adrenaline filled evening. That was why you didn't even bother to turn the lights on as you let your backpack fall anywhere on the tile floor, stepping out of your sneakers and pulling your shirt over your head. 

The cold early morning breeze sent goosebumps along your skin, bringing your attention to the open window. 

You froze. You were always very careful not to let any windows open, Hell's Kitchen was a tough neighbourhood for a spoiled cat like your Selina to be out and about. 

A flash of movement at the corner of your eye was all you needed before your senses went haywire again, instinct kicking in as you jumped high in the air to twirl and land a kick to the back of whoever was in your apartment. But the intruder was expecting it, dodging just in time and turning around to block your punch. Getting a hold of your wrist, the dark figure twisted and pulled you forwards until you fell, back flushed against his chest as he wrapped his arms around yours in a vice-like grip, effectively immobilizing you.

"Easy there, Smokey." A way too familiar voice breathed against your ear, "you're going to hurt yourself." 

You stopped struggling against his grasp. Right. Of course it was him.

"Peter?"

His grip grew tighter for a moment, before letting go.

"Hello, Y/N."

Just like that, it all came back to you: The memories you had tried to repress, the feelings you had tried so hard to bury, washing over you like a flood, a tsunami hitting you hard enough to knock the breath out of your lungs once again. As you took an unsteady step away from him, you prayed that Peter hadn't noticed. 

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice place," Peter ignored your question, choosing to casually pace your living room instead. "Bit of a downgrade from the upper west side, though…"

"Fine," you scoffed, turning to him, "you wanna do small talk? Let's do small talk: what’s with the edgelord look?" You pointed at his tar-black suit. 

"Biotech," the suit retracted from his face and head, reminding you of the nanobots suit he used to wear before Dr. Octopus destroyed it. "Do you like it?" 

You shrugged,

"Stark industries?"

He shook his head. 

"Horizon Lab."

Well, that was interesting. You knew the little, independent company owned by one of his ex-girlfriends had helped him manufacture a couple of special suits developed from his very own webs, after his emancipation from the Starks. But you had no idea they had reached such level of refinement, and you had a feeling neither did Fury. 

"You like it?"

"You look… taller," You noted. That wasn't the only difference; his hair was longer, wilder, his shoulders wider, his arms far bigger than you recalled.

"You look exactly the same," he countered, as open as he had always been. "Just as beautiful as I remembered…"

You sighed, tiredly. You didn't have the energy for that — for his charm, his candidness. What was more, you weren't prepared at all. 

No, you weren't prepared for this Peter. Your Peter. Not after what all that Fury had told you…

"What do you want, Peter?"

He leveled you with a look, his whole demeanor changing in the blink of an eye. 

"I could ask you the exact same thing…"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Y/N. Don't play dumb with me, it doesn't suit you." His sudden bluntness surprised you, but it was more along the lines of what Fury had warned you to expect so it didn't completely manage to throw you off. 

You crossed your arms, "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Really, now?" Peter took a step forward, towering over you. "You don't? Hanging out at my spots, patrolling my neighbourhood, taking down my thugs?" He enumerated.

"Your thugs?"

"The kingpin is mine," he growled.

"Since when?"

"You fucking know since when!" You tried to hide your flinch at his rising tone, but he must have noticed because a moment later, he was closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, visibly trying to get a hold of himself. 

"I thought Queens was your neighbourhood…" You spoke, trying to diffuse the tension after a couple beats had passed without him moving.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged, opening his eyes, "I relocated."

"So did I…" 

"You did," he smiled. And just like that, he was back at being your Peter. "And you mean to tell me all of this." He pressed a button in his wrist, "isn't to get my attention?" 

A hologram version of Jade's video started to play in front of your impassive eyes. And you might have thought your carefully constructed mask of indifference gave away nothing, but Peter could see right through it. You didn't seem surprised to see the video and that alone was enough proof for him to confirm his theory. 

"Please, Smokey, security footage?" He smirked, "this isn't like you. You aren't this sloppy."

Another click and the video was gone.

"Well, this might come as a surprise to you, but everything isn't always about you." 

"Then what's going on?"

"None of your fucking business!"

Before you could react, the floor disappeared from under your feet, and your back hitted the wall with enough force to rattle the windows. 

"Like hell it isn't," Peter hissed, his weight pinning you upright. "Now tell me, what the fuck did you get yourself into this time?"

As you stared into his stormy eyes, heart racing inside your chest, unsure if the adrenaline coursing through your veins was because of the obvious threat in front of you, or for another reason entirely, you wondered exactly the same. 

Your tongue came out to moist your lips, Peter's dark pupils following the movement.

"It's been over a year," you breathed out, all the fight leaving you. It was too much, his sweet breath fanning over your face, every inch of his hard body pressed up against yours, overpowering you, the slick texture of his new suit against your bare chest… it was intoxicating. You had overestimated yourself. "Why do you even care?"

"I will always care about you," he confessed softly, just as affected by the closeness as you. "I will always want you…"

You closed your eyes, trying to get your erratic heart under control.

"Maybe I don't want you anymore, Peter." 

He pushed you harder against the wall, his forearm against your collarbone to prevent you from moving. 

"Don't do that," he whispered, lips ghosting over yours. "Don't torture me."

"Peter…"

BAM.

You fell to your knees, hard, Peter's body suddenly no longer supporting your weight. 

"Touch her again, and I'll kill you!"

"J-Jess?" 

"Hey, kid. You alright?" Your neighbour barely even spared you a glance over her shoulder as she placed herself between you and a newly irate looking Peter, slowly getting up from the rumble of splinters of wood and shards of glass that used to be your coffee table.

"What are you doing here?" You asked in confusion.

"I heard a noise," she deadpanned, eyes never leaving the dark cladded vigilante. But to your surprise Peter merely raised his hands in surrender, the bulk of his rage vanishing the moment he understood the woman in front of him was only trying to protect you. 

"This isn't what it looks like…" He tried to explain, but Jessica would have none of it.

"Yeah, sure" she scoffed. "Big guy, totally dressed, pinning a half naked girl to the wall in the dark... totally not rapey."

Peter flinched. She was right, he wouldn't believe himself either. 

"Listen, you're Jessica Jones, right?" Recognizing the woman in front of him, suddenly your choice in real state made a lot more sense. "I am- I was," he quickly corrected himself, "Peter Parker. Your friend, Matt Murdock, he knows me… look, I'm not- I'm not a bad guy." 

Even to his ears, he sounded unconvincing.

"Really?" Jess pointed at his black costume, "Cause you definitely look like a bad guy." 

"I… Y/n, help me out here," he threw you a pleading look but Jess moved to the side, blocking you from view.

"Hey, fuckface!" She snapped, drawing Peter's attention back to her, "the only reason I'm not kicking your ass right now is because of Matt. But if I ever see you next to Y/N ever again, I'll break every single bone of your body. Twice. Now get the fuck out of here, before I run out of fucking patience."

"Y/N?"

You sighed, getting up. Away from him, and with Jess there as a boofer between the both of you, you were no longer under the influence and could clearly see exactly how fucked up the situation was.

"I think you should leave, Peter." 

There was a flash of hurt in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by a mask of indolence as he squared his jaw and turned away, letting the bio-suit close over his head again.

"I looked for her too, you know?" He admitted, before making his exit through the same window he had come in from.

You had no time to dwell on his words or anything of what had just happened, before Jess was on your face. 

"That was Peter? Your sister's boyfriend, the one you told me I didn't need to investigate?"

You resisted the urge to shrink under her look,

"Yeah…"

"You told me he was harmless. That did not look harmless!"

You couldn't really argue with that, so you didn't. Instead you gestured at her to be quiet, as you reached past her to pick up your phone, your landline phone, the one you had never bothered connecting. 

The one you knew was bugged.

With voice as clear and steady as you were able to manage, you spoke into the mic,

"Contact made. Awaiting further instructions." 

To be continued...

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x reader smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfiction #dark!peter parker #symbiote!peter parker #venom!peter parker #venom #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #cherry #arvin russell #nathan drake #marvel #jessica jones #defenders

[nextraordinaire]

everything is kinda sorta falling apart, and it's also pride month. all those things are important. but, as people, we can't invest ourselves whole-heartedly in every global issue.

so, wanted to do a little thing today (june 2nd), regarding a topic very close to my heart.

i disappeared from this part of the internet for a bit. and very much of it can be attributed to the fact that i developed anorexia at age 22. i'm currently 25 (going on 26) and in recovery.

and since today is World Eating Disorders Action Day, i wanted to talk a bit about some myths surrounding restrictive eating disorders (that does not include BED, because i don't feel qualified enough to talk about it). because it seems like there's still a lot of things people don't know.

myth #1: only rich white girls develop eating disorders.

truth: anyone can develop an eating disorder. genes load the gun; environment pulls the trigger. or, being in a calorie deficit for any reason can activate a dormant eating disorder.

it might look a bit different from the media stereotype of an emaciated girl refusing to eat bread, but it's still an eating disorder. think about the ripped dude who only eats Clean™ and gets irrationally angry when he can't work out? what about your slightly chubby friend who brags about running every morning, has suddenly gone vegan but declines all invitations that involves food? your 'normal weighted' girlfriend who checks EVERY nutrition label, gets the shaky hands when she's about to eat potatoes, or disappears to the bathroom not 15 min after? or your older relative who's always on a diet? the middle-aged dad who fasts for days for non-religious reasons because it's "cleansing"?

all of these people may be suffering from eating disorders. the migration theory suggests that once upon a time on the savannah, when famines happened, you had two types of people: hibernators and migrants. hibernators stayed put and tried to conserve as much energy as possible. migrants, however, had a compulsion to move out of the environment where resources were scarce. and that's why people with eating disorders are afraid of food. because if you stopped to eat, you'd be wasting resources, or you'd be stuck in a famine-stricken environment, fall behind your tribe and ultimately die.

so your brain gave you incentive to keep moving towards better hunting grounds at all cost. and that incentive?

pure, unadulterated fear of weight gain.

there's also the coping mechanism theory. it poses that eating disorders, much like self-harm and substance abuse, is a coping skill. because starving/purging are self-destructive behaviors, and they let you focus on something besides the trauma/mental anguish/etc. that you're experiencing. it's just as valid as the migration theory, and experiencing trauma can inadvertently put you in a energy deficit, triggering the dormant genes.

so, instead of seeing eating disorders as a something people do to get thin, let's re-frame it as an addiction to not eating/the starving high.

myth #2: eating disorders are only dangerous if you starve.

truth: purging through vomiting is extremely hard on the body, and can cause irreparable damage and death. you're also at a much higher risk of committing suicide.

when younger people pass away from heart-attacks, for seemingly no reason, i always get a red flag that there might be an underlying eating disorder in the works. throwing up and abusing laxatives disrupts the electrolyte (i.e. sodium, potassium etc.) balance in the body, which can cause your heart to stop even at a normal or higher weight. the stomach acid with the added pressure from heaving can cause your esophagus or stomach to rupture, and you bleed to death. that's not even mentioning eroding teeth, osteoporosis, fucked up intestines or rosecea (caused by electrolyte imbalance).

the reason anorexia is statistically the deadliest psychiatric illness is not because all patients starve to death. it's because you're 6-9 times more likely to die from suicide compared to age-sex matched peers. the mental anguish of thinking about food 24/7 - something you need to survive, but you're deathly afraid of - coupled with the co-morbidity of depression, anxiety and OCD, causes a lot of sufferers to see no other solution than to end their life.

and i can attest to that; i was actively suicidal for a large part of my illness.

myth #3: once you've gained weight, you're out of the woods

truth: eating disorders are anxiety disorders with serious physical consequences, not the other way around.

please never assume that just because your eating disordered friend/partner/relative has gained weight, that they're cured. they might not be in physical danger anymore, but the self-loathing and depression is most likely at an all-time high. you're never more uncomfortable or hate yourself more than when you've gained weight but still hold the beliefs that life is only worth living if you're as thin as can be and/or you don't have to eat.

instead of well-meaning assurances (i know it seems like a good idea, no blame here) about looking healthy, do focus on stuff like like disposition and cognitive function; all things that come back when you're not depriving yourself of food anymore.

myth #4: people with eating disorders never eat

truth: instincts will eventually take over. if you've been starving for long enough, at some point, you will binge.

restrictive type anorexia only lasts for so long. at a certain point, you can't keep it up anymore, and so, it turns into binge-purge subtype. it might look like not eating all day, only to eat your whole RDI in one sitting at night, sobbing. it might look like eating only after you've worked out. maybe you only eat when you're alone. however, if food is around, your instincts will eventually override your disorder/fear and just, take the reins.

many people (including myself) describe it as being possessed. you're just shoveling anything edible in vicinity into you. one memorable occasion had me eating four bowls of raspberry honey oatmeal in less than 15 minutes before i could stop myself. and then you hate yourself. it's almost indescribable, the loathing and disgust you feel. so you purge, exercise until you throw up or pass out, or starve for a week. until your survival instinct takes the reins and

you binge. and so, the cycle begins again.

myth #5: eating disorders are incurable

truth: 1 out of 3 fully recovers, 1 out of 3 manage their symptoms, 1 out of 3 develop chronic eating disorders.

recovery is possible. with the right support, an iron-will to expose yourself to your worst fears (i.e. weight gain) 3-6 times a day and the right circumstances for success, recovery is possible. and no matter what -- no matter how long/short time you've been ill, your current weight, your circumstances -- you're worthy of support and treatment.

you do not have to be sick enough. i know, the voice tells you that like a stuck record, but it is a dirty, dirty lie. do not let the beast get you. you're not your size, and your body is just trying to keep you alive. please let it. develop healthy habits, including resting and eating chocolate once in a while. be curious about what's to come. because even if it seems too hopeless and torturous to keep living/breathing/fucking eating, who is going to adopt that rescue pet if you're not here to do so?

#world eating disorders action day #tw eating issues #self-reblog #eating disorders

[cryinginthebackseat]

you’ve got more poison than sugar - part ii

part i    part iii  AO3 

Fandom: Call Of Duty

Pairing: Russell Adler x Bell

Words: 2.918

Warnings: some mild sexual content and swearings, like usual

Author’s note: okay, i know this one's a little short but i promise there'll be more coming on the next chapter, i promise.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The first time Bell showed her face at Langley, it was two weeks after the program. She wore beige, a ruffled high-neck blouse that made her hazel eyes, like charred nut shells, hard and just about indestructible, popped.

She stood at the lobby, regarding the place like she’d waltzed into a wrong banquet hall, the band played in the background, chandeliers dripping like arctic icicles, the bar drenched in opulent gold.

She didn’t belong here.

But Adler met her there, anyway, Hudson in tow.

“Have I ever done something to him?” Bell asked after the rather short-lived meeting, squinting at the vacant spot Hudson left them. She’d yielded very few words. When she did, it’d been all business, crisp, so it surprised him now to hear her uttering something with more than 2 syllables.

“What do you mean?”

“Have I deliberately done something to piss him off?” she elaborated, quieter, but the glower remained.

Adler carefully studied her behind his tinted shades. It still troubled him to a degree that he couldn’t read her. Like she locked herself off. They say eyes are the window to the soul, but thus far, he saw nothing. Fuck the poets.

“No. At least, not as far as I can tell,” he grits out, curious to see where she was heading with the conversation. “Why?”

Bell hummed, but seemingly unconvinced. A beat, then: “He doesn’t seem to like me that much.”

You don’t belong here, he thought and his face went cagier, back stiffer, but no doubt intrigued. Very much so by this mysteriously curious creature.

Perceptive and diamond-sharp intelligent, he pondered. They might have secured the bag after all.

“It's not you. That’s just as warm and fuzzy you’ll see Hudson with everyone, trust me,” he uttered, hoping that she bought the fib. She did. At least, he thought so. “Come on, Bell, we’ve got a job to do.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Adler finds her outside the garage the next night, smoking alone, reading in secret. The ground is still wet from the rain, straggling cloud wisps and every artery of this place fucking freezes his bones. Bell ditches her gloves inside, but has her coat on, the collar popped up like antennae.

"You aren't cold?" he asks when she doesn’t notice him. Too engrossed in her own bubble. She does look better, though. Park is right about that one at least.

"I'm good," she answers without looking up. "Am I needed for something inside?"

"No, just thought I could use some fresh air."

He’s studying her, raking her from head to toe. Suddenly, he doesn’t care if she would notice him. Then he steps closer, standing next to her, lifting his cigarette to his mouth.

“What are you reading?”

There’s something about this secret element to her that has him on his toes. Everything about her is curious- frustratingly curious, careful, as Bell rolls her neck to meet him. In the low light, she looks quite new, he learns. And his eyes beg for him to linger.  

“Amerika. Kafka,” she says. “Have you read it?”

A subtle shake of his head and, “No.” While Bell nods, silent, like she doesn't know what else to say to him. “Should I? Give it a read?” Adler adds, just to keep the conversation going.

She shrugs, a cloud of smoke escaping her nostrils. “I can’t say that Kafka is ever a favorite of mine, but he really is sui generis. And Amerika is probably the most approachable of all his works? It’s funny too.”

“I never thought I’d hear Kafka and funny in the same sentence.”

“Yeah, well, it’s very subtle. And if only you can understand his nightmarish sense of humor, that is,” she explains, shrugging again, like she’s embarrassed. “I don’t know, maybe you’ll like it.”

Frankly, he hates Kafka. He hates his vatic, dead-eye vision of the world; that acute sense of hopelessness clinging onto his main protagonists like vines, but Adler finds himself nodding, anyway.

“Sure, lend me your copy once you're done with it." If she’s surprised by his answer, she does not tell her. But Adler thinks she’s smiling though- just the barest quirk of her lips, but it’s enough for him to know that she appreciates the gesture.

A brief, unmapped silence ensues.

"I'm sorry, by the way."

Adler arches an eyebrow at her. "For what?"

Bell slots a bookmark into the book, closes it, frowns at it.

"For yesterday. I, uh… I feel like I was being insolent to you.”

He looks sidelong at Bell and tries to read her. Her expression is raw and open, a painting visible through a small tear in the paper. For some reason, that catches him by surprise.

“You already apologized, you know?” Adler teases lamely.

“I know, but still it was uncalled for and very unprofessional of me. You’re my CO, not some random BND agent I’m forced to work with. I shouldn’t have said that," she mumbles softly and sighs, world-weary, heavy, sounding like a woman twice her age. "It will not happen again. I promise you."

"Hey, consider it water under the bridge, kid. You’re in a rather rough place right now, I wouldn’t hold it against you,” he tells her, fond. “What matters is you’re alright. We can’t catch Perseus if you’re green around the gills.”

Her eyes meet his. He meets her back.

“Thank you.” And Bell rotates her body to face him. Mussed brunette hair and sharp cheekbones, mouth kinked up in sympathy as she says, “Is this what you have to put up with all these years?"

He summons a smirk. "With you? More or less."

And then the woman does the unexpected; Bell laughs. She fucking laughs. Delicate sounding, like a tinkling glass, petals wrapped in satin, moonbeams through frosted windows. It dies, too soon to his liking. Adler privately lets the sound of her laughter replays in his head, as if trying to pocket it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It’s only after Ukraine when he discovers that she smells different. That wintry floral smell of hers that he’s accustomed to is commingling with something else.

But now-

Now, there's music in the air.

Sims does this sometimes, bringing his Zenith Trans-Oceanic, or as he would call it the Tranny, to the safehouse and they would tune in to international radio stations. Cream's Sunshine Of Your Love is playing- or more specifically, their song is 5 seconds away from being cut off abruptly by the DJ. The song reminds him of Vietnam, regrettably. The root of all madness.

“Next up, is my favorite ever track-to-track transition on an album. This is Pink Floyd’s Brain Damage and-”

Adler stops whatever it is he’s scribbling. He sits up, ramrod straight.

“Mind switching to another station?” he asks suddenly, glances up at Sims quickly who, as Adler suspected, is giving him a rather odd look.

“Why?”

"I've always hated Pink Floyd." Only because he’s out of reason. Only because he can feel Bell’s confused stare, searing into his temple. Only because it’s the only way of escaping this. "Change it, please."

Sims opens his mouth. The unspoken: how about that time in Denver?

The telling jerk of Adler’s lips warns him not to ask.

The other man clamps his mouth shut, seemingly gets the message and switches to a different station. He never brings his radio again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Frank Woods is exactly how Adler saw him last time- or since Hue City, that is: tigerish and intimidating- a kick in the head voice, a hurricane in the shape of a man and he is making his way to him right now.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?”

"So talk."

Woods shakes his head. "Not here."

Adler looks at him at last now, curiosity creeping over him. He then stubs his cigarette, nods once and leads them both to his office.

Once they’re inside, he locks the door, secures the blinds.

“What is it?” Adler takes a seat behind his desk. Woods remains standing. He paces around the room, a hand on his bearded chin.

“What the fuck is going on with your girl?”

Adler doesn’t know which one is worse, the fact that Woods manages to sniff out something going on with Bell or that he just addresses her as his girl. Either way, it's bad. Either way, Adler should have expected the former issue. Woods is astute as he is dangerous. There's a reason why the CIA gave the green light for Mason and Hudson to save him in Da Nang all those years ago, after all.

"What about her?" Adler asks, even-toned, giving nothing away. Even though he is in the ‘need to know’ column regarding Bell’s brainwashing, this is something Adler initially wishes he could keep under wraps.

“Don’t bullshit me, Adler. She has that look on her face- I see it in her eyes. The exact same look Mason has been wearing since ‘Nam,” Woods tells him, point-blank, never being the one to settle for niceties. After Hudson, Adler thinks he simply can’t tolerate the agency anymore.

“I saw it all, remember? Had a fucking front row seat to his relapse and shit, so don’t tell me she’s alright. Not when it looks like she could snap out of it any moment.” Woods has his hands on the table and looks at him dead-on. “Tell me I’m right. Tell me there is something wrong with her.”

He regards the other man coolly. Woods is no longer asking. Adler is out of move.

“You're right,” he answers simply, eventually, tipping his king over on its side, stopping the clock. "Did you talk to Hudson regarding this?"

"Since when did I report to Agent stick-up-his-ass? Fuck no. That's why I came straight to you.” Woods heaves a heavy sigh, like he’s the one with all these burdens. “Now, what the hell’s wrong with her?”

“She’s suffering from brain damage."

“Shit. All that ‘cause of MK-Ultra?”

“One of the few factors that caused it, yes.”

His mouth goes flat. "How bad is it?”

“Bad. We’re trying to minimize for any collateral as we speak, at least until we finally get our hands on Perseus. But she… she might not make it.” Adler leans back in his chair, like his body feels heavy all of the sudden.

Woods nods. Uncharacteristically silent, looking strangely contemplative, sympathetic even. That should be categorized as an oddity itself, Woods and him, two proud Americans, Vietnam veterans and she’s just another red, another blood they would indubitably sacrifice for their country and they’re sympathizing with her? Yet something deep inside Adler, something resonates like the throat of a storm, sinks its teeth into him, confounds him, every time he thinks of her.

Woods crosses his arms over his chest, glances at the door, as if someone might knock anytime soon, then back to him.

"So, what's the plan?" He quickly adds, "if things go south, what are you gonna do?"

"It won't come to that. She'll come through, I know it," Adler counters, suddenly defensive. Whatever the use of his tone indicates, Woods ignores it.

"You sure about that?”

"Are you doubting me?” Adler spits out a retort. A quiet fury grasps him tight, but he forces himself to keep under a tight lid.

Woods holds his hands up in mock surrender.

"Look, I’m just saying, that woman is a loose cannon- you can’t be too careful."

"We have everything under control, Woods. And this is the least of your worry right now."

"Alright, okay. If you say you and Park have her contained already, then fine. I trust you,” he says and heads for the door.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Woods says again. He’s facing the door, back to him. “Whatever happens, keep Mason in the dark about any of this."

“Of course. He isn’t on a need to know basis from the very start, you know that.”

"Good. ‘cause the less he knows the better." Woods pauses like he's constructing an entire sentence in his head. He peers over his shoulder. "I mean it. He’s been through enough. I don’t know which ground you crawled up from, but up here, some people implement this kind of civility to other people.”

The words sting, yet Adler stares back at him, seemingly unfazed. "What, you’re saying that I’m simply heartless?”

“Nah,” Woods says, satirical and sardonic. “You’re just Adler.” And with that, he’s gone.

1976

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was eight o'clock on a mid-September evening and Adler found himself coming home to an empty house.

His wife had already left a week prior, crossing the country with a self-proclaimed film critic she'd met at the premiere of The Shining last summer, but Adler didn't know that yet.

He went to the kitchen. Dropped his suitcase, pulled off his coat and scarf. He reeked of cigarettes, cheap air freshener and jet fuel- air travel is simply sickening, in terms of its cost and smell- and in a desperate need of a hot bath.

"Honey?" He switched the lights on. She wasn't here. So Adler headed upstairs, to their room where they would rest their bones every night for the past 15 years. The door was slightly ajar. He expected to see her sleeping from under the duvet, hair splaying all over the pillow.

What he found was a folded note on his bedside table. He stared at it, his heart at his throat, fearing the worst, the unimaginable. He picked the letter and unfolded it.

Forgive me.

Russell,

Live or die, but don't poison everything .

His head did pirouette. So, this was it. This was what it felt like, he thought.

Not heartbreak, not sadness. But a collapse of the world- his world and all he could do was watch from the sidelines.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

1981

Adler stares at the words now, sleeves rolled up, anatomical heart. The paper is fading, wrinkled and it smells like smoke and decay and tears, capped with something akin to regret.

It has his name on it, begins with it, and ends with an apology, written in cursive. Like microscopic snakes dancing around his peripheral vision, hissing in his ears.

Live or die, but don't poison everything.

No one likes to be told that they are sick, but Russell Adler has learned to acknowledge it, embrace it, weaponize it. Her words mean zero shit to him now. You can't condemn someone to the depths of hell when it's the only place he's known all his life.

So, he takes the letter for the last time, remembering how the ink used to smudge his calloused fingers, crumples it up, that satisfying crunch dins in his palm, and tosses it into the fireplace.

The paper crackles. Good fucking riddance. It really takes all this time for him to grow the guts, apparently, and he just stares and stares as the fire begins to engulf everything, wiping away his past failure.

He promises he would never fail again, at anything. No matter what the cost, failure is never going to be an option.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Bell arrives at the garage with frantic eyes, a half-burnt cigarette between her lips and uncharacteristically late. Color peppering her cheeks- red, like an apple bitten into.

“I’m sorry, I overslept,” is her excuse, but she’s looking at the room strangely, he thinks, almost like she’s seeking a particular face.

When she makes her way to her desk, when she whizzes past him by the board and her planet is entering his orbit for the first time in the morning, Adler, as if by accident or by design, inhales deeply.

His breath snags.

She smells like someone else.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

(Someone fucked her last night)

The telephone rings in the distance.

“Sims. Yeah, sure, let me get him. Hold on.” He puts the call on hold. “Doc, you might wanna take this one.”

(Someone was in her bed; beside her, above her, under her. Inside her. He imagines her fingers digging into the mattress as they rolled her onto her stomach, mouth trailing down the ladder of her spine. Their breaths intermingled in the seraphic glow of her hotel room)

Adler mechanically crosses the room and picks the receiver.

“Adler.”

(If he herds her away from prying eyes and pushes down the collar of her shirt, would he see the evidence there, taunting him? If he kisses her, would he taste them instead of her? )

"Perhaps," he says over the phone, his face hard. "But my decision is final. I'm sending Woods and Mason to Yamantau. They'll leave in a few days."

(Did they make her come?)

"Of course. Why do you think I chose them for this mission?"

(If she made them?)

“Most likely, but we're prepared for this- you know we are," Adler says, customer service polite, an old recording on a playback. "Right. Well, that concludes the matter then. Yeah, you have a wonderful day to yourself.”

Adler hangs up the telephone. Breathes out a sigh. He pinches the bridge of his nose for a few good seconds, before remembering that he has an audience.

"Oof. Sounds rough," comments Sims, dark eyes slanting in concern.

(Maybe she likes that, rough. Teeth biting the back of her shoulder, that sweet juxtaposition of pain and pleasure coursing through their veins, his hand curling around her throat from behind as she pants and mewls like-)

(But this isn’t about him. Never about him)

"That's one way to put it."

Someone else fucked her. It shouldn't leave an acrid taste in his mouth, but it does.

#russell adler #russell adler x bell #adler x bell #cod bell #cod #call of duty #call of duty black ops #call of duty cold war #cod cold war #alex mason #frank woods #helen park #lawrence sims #jason hudson #lazar azoulay

[filthficdump]

Good Thing This Job Has Benefits.

AN: I wrote this in one day, I’ve developed a hyperfixation on The Walten Files, so you get to enjoy this absolute mess I’ve made.

You can also read it here on AO3. There’s no romance, it’s a gender neutral, nameless reader fict. There’s no death, because I am NOT about to write angst about a happy family :(

When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around. Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd.

The gravel under my tires crunched as I drove through the night, bopping and tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song, singing along. It was late, most likely near or after nine PM, but I wasn’t about to take my eyes off the road to check. That’s just asking for trouble.

But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance was all it took. Now it's much too late for me to take a second look.

New job, it’s been going great! I wouldn’t have thought I’d get to use my programming degree so soon, but I’m so happy I got this job. Sure, it’s for a kid’s burger joint, but there’s animatronics and other stuff, plus that finance minor rocketed me straight to an assistant manager position!

Oh, baby, give me one more chance, to show you that I love you. Won't you please let me, Back in your heart.

In the distance I could see a pair of headlights and slowed my car a bit and moved a bit to the side to provide them more room. These roads were narrow and I really didn’t think I wanted to get into a car crash and have to deal with that with what’s left of my savings and likely my first check.

Oh, darlin', I was blind to let you go (Let you go, baby) But now since I see you in his arms (I want you back)

The thought ‘That car looks like it’s moving really fast- too fast’ is the last thought in my head as the car got close, too close to stop the car or move away, there’s a ditch and trees on my side of the road. My hand hit the horn hard, blaring, but they served and-

CRASH!!!

Yes, I do now, I want you back. Ooh, ooh, baby, I want you back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want you back. Na, na, na, na.

When I come back to, I’m upside down, held up by my seat belt. Ho-ly-shit. I got into a fucking car crash.

Oh shit! I got into a car crash- The other car! I struggle to turn to look out the window and I see the other car against the guard rail. It’s hard to get a good look at the other car, seeing how I’m upside down and in the goddamn ditch, but I need to get out of the car.

I instinctually went for the pocket at the door, looking for my seatbelt cutter, but it had fallen out. Thanks, gravity. Thankfully, it’s on the roof of the car and I grabbed it before grabbing the handle of the door, pushing it open before I pressed my free arm against the roof of the car and-

“ FUCK! ” I yell, feeling the pain shooting up my arm and shoulder. Holy fuck, why did it hurt so bad?! We’re in the middle of the woods and I can’t remember the last home I passed and my car is upside down.

Either someone comes or I’ve got a long walk. I grit my teeth and cut the seat belt, falling head first into the ceiling and then out the door, tumbling until my butt hit grass. I flung the seatbelt cutter to the side and struggled up, using my door as support before I had to climb up the slippery slope of the ditch and onto the road.

My more useful arm held the other to my chest as I limped. Just about everything hurts. My chest, my shoulder, my leg, my face. Why did this have to happen? I was having such a good night, and now I’m in a wreck and about to give this jackass a piece of my mind. If he’s not dead.

I got closer to the car and looked inside. The man was unconscious, leaning against the steering wheel. I looked to the back instinctually, not expecting to see two terrified children! Oh god, wait- No, they’re alive. They’re looking at me.

I pulled open the driver door, still looking back at the kids, “Uh… Hey. Are you kids okay?” I asked, leaning down to look at them better. A boy and a girl, clearly siblings. They were sniffling and crying, but nodded, “Is this your dad?” I asked, pointing at the unconscious man. The car reeks of booze.

“N-No…” The boy sniffled, “He’s our uncle!”

“Okay, okay… Well, I’m gonna get us to help.” I said and went over to the passenger side, opening it up. The paint was scratched and the panels dented, but the car was still running. It would be shorter to keep going the way I came from, the city and a hospital is that way.

I reached over and wrapped my arm around the unconscious man’s chest, dragging him over into the passenger seat where there were beer bottles on the floor. Not even a seatbelt? He’s lucky he didn’t die.

I buckled him in and shut the door, walking back around to the driver’s seat before getting in and shutting the door. I tested my foot on the gas and hand on the wheel, my other arm resting in my lap.

Thank god the car still worked! I just started driving, the car feeling quite literally fucked as it went over the road, but it’s a working car!

It was perhaps ten or fifteen minutes down the road, “Um… So, what’s your guys’ names?” I asked, looking back at them through the crooked rear view mirror. They must have been so terrified. They were just in a car crash, and now their jackass drunk uncle was unconscious and a stranger was in the car with them.

“I’m Edd… She’s Molly…” Edd said, his sister was holding a grey bunny toy. Looked like one of those prize stuffed animals we keep at Bon’s Burgers prize counter, but it wasn’t blue or purple, and the restaurant hasn’t been opened yet.

I introduced myself and really focused on the road, “That’s a really cool bunny. It’s like the ones we have at my work.” I said, smiling, “Ever heard of Bon’s Burgers?”

The girl looked confused, “Y-Yes? Our dad works there.” She said. Oh no, were they my co-worker’s kids? Which co-worker?

“O-Oh? What’s your dad’s name?” I asked, glancing over at the man in the passenger seat. I couldn’t see him very well in the dark car, but I could hear his deep breathing and slight snoring.

“His name is Jack Walten. Our mom is Rosie!” Edd said, and for a moment I thought I was going to get into another accident. Jack… Walten…?

My boss's kids?!

“Ha-Ha, oh wow… Small work. I started working there. Today was my first day, actually…” I said, muttering a few swears under my breath, “I met Jack! Um… Do either of you know his phone number…? We’re gonna need it when we get to the hospital.”

The boy nods and I sighed- Wait, if these are Jack’s kids, then the man...

Another glance. We’re getting to the part of the road with street lights. I recognize those glasses. This was my other boss, wasn’t it? Please don’t say it is, I just crashed into my bosses’ car. Wait, no, he crashed into me! This wasn’t my fault!

The bastard is too drunk and irresponsible. He could have killed himself, the two kids, or even myself! For god sakes my car is in a ditch!

“Let’s just… Listen to some music, okay?” I offered and put on the radio, driving with my knee for the moment since my injured arm was starting to go numb. It better not be broken, I swear to god.

Once we got into the city I went straight to the hospital, parking in the emergency parking lot. “Okay, can you guys walk?” I asked, unbuckling my belt to look at both of them. They opened their doors and the girl winced.

“My ankle hurts!” She cried. Edd thankfully didn’t seem too injured, but he had a burn from the seat belt.

“Okay, okay. Hold on, I’ll carry you.” I said and got out. My leg felt like it was covered with biting fire ants, but I wasn’t about to leave her alone for them to just get a wheelchair.

I bent down and she reached up, one hand clutching the stuffed bunny as she wrapped her arm around my neck and I held her up on my hip, my only good arm holding her up, “Okay, okay, okay.” I mumbled softly and the boy was by my side, “Okay, grab my hand.” I said, offering my injured hand. I didn’t care that it hurt, I knew he was putting on a brave face.

He took my hand and I walked them both in. The tired nurse at the desk looked up at us and looked terrified before she quickly called for help, “We have another in the car. The black one out front.” I said, “We were just in a car crash.”

“Oh my god!” She said as more nurses came, one that had a gurney and I put the girl up on top and the boy got to sit in a wheelchair, “Are you their mother?” The nurse asked as one of the other nurses tried to sit me down in a wheelchair as well.

“No… I’m the one their uncle crashed into.” I said and reluctantly sat down. I didn’t realize how fast my heart was beating, it must explain all of the wandering thoughts that clouded my mind.

I was brought to the same room that they were, but curtains separated me from them. Doctors and nurses came shortly and my vision grew quite spotty. Information was exchanged, my nearest relative was an hour away and it was late, so it’s a toss up if they got the call.

One of the children gave a nurse the phone number to their home, and already my head was coming up with the worst thoughts of what would happen. Will I be fired? Is he going to sue me? I’m probably just as guilty as Felix in his eyes.

Speaking of Felix, if Jack doesn’t fire me he will! If he doesn’t get arrested.

“Pardon me…” One of the nurses said, drawing my attention, “We need to cut off your shirt. Your arm is likely dislocated and we don’t want to move it.”

Oh god, if they cut off this shirt I’ll have to pay 25 dollars to get another. “Um… No, it’s my only uniform.” I said and with my one good arm undid the buttons before another nurse pulled from my uninjured side and I pulled it the rest of the way off, letting the nurse take it.

Unfortunately, pants and shoes too, but I got a nifty gown and now they could resume looking me over. What I didn’t appreciate was them having to pop my arm back into place, that was awful.

They had to bandage up my cuts and test me for brain damage (just a mild concussion) and put my arm in a sling, my ribs were also likely fractured. Molly's ankle had to be splinted as it was strained and Edd had a slight concussion.

At least I got to change back into a spare set of plain clothes that they happened to have, but that required a nurse's help with the newly relocated arm that ached and hurt when I moved it.

Felix hadn’t been brought to our same room, and an officer came to question us. I told the whole story, and just to be sure they breathalyzed me. Unlike a certain driver I blew a 0.0 BAC.

Our stories matched up and they pulled back the curtains to allow us to see each other and talk. They were still shaken up, but they were told their mom and dad were on their way a while ago. Great. I’m just glad their parents were still awake and were on their way, even though I knew there was going to be so much to talk about and I was going to have to justify myself to both of the worried and likely angry parents.

I talked to them about school and what they liked to do, how they just came from a school party. Molly was excited to have her friends sign her ‘cast’ and Edd thought he would be the coolest kid in school for surviving a car crash.

I remembered being their age and smiled and nodded along as I was put on a low grade painkiller and we were given water to drink. After about 20 minutes I could hear a commotion and a man and two women calling out for the two children. They called back and moments later a frazzled looking man, my boss Jack Walten and his wife Rosemary, along with his worried looking teen daughter Sophie rounded the corner of the doorway and in that moment I had never seen anyone look so relieved.

The reunion was toothrottingly sweet, all five hugging and just overjoyed to see their children okay and alive. I couldn’t help but smile, even though it felt like I was intruding on something that should have been private.

Edd brought me up and Molly joined in, the both of them talking at once and practically over each other as they tried to explain everything that happened. I’m not sure if their parents or sister fully understood, but what was grasped was that Felix crashed into me, and I drove them to the hospital.

Both Jack and Rosemary looked at me and I awkwardly waved. He looked confused, like he recognized me but unsure from where, “Hi, boss…” I said, introducing myself for the second time that day.

We only met for ten minutes earlier today, but his eyes widened in surprise. “You… Felix crashed into you?” He asked, “And you got my children to safety?”

I timidly nodded. Please, please don’t be angry.

The officer presented himself and cleared his throat, “Your employee here was driving home when Mr. Kraken, who was intoxicated, who was driving the other way crashed into them and knocked them from the road into the ditch while Mr. Kraken’s car hit the guardrail.” The officer explained.

“I um… I was upside down but cut myself free and climbed out to check on the other car, and I saw that he had Molly and Edd in the back and my car wasn’t about to get out of the ditch any time soon so I just… drove them here.” I finished, punctuating the end by nervously drinking the rest of my water.

“He was drunk?!” Rosemary said, stunned and clearly angry. The officer nodded while Jack’s fist clenched, clearly enraged. I would be just as shocked and angry if I had children and they were put in danger by someone who’s supposed to be their friend.

I should probably be just as angry that some drunk asshole- who is my boss no less- nearly killed me, but I was just glad that we were all still alive. Sure, my car is fucked, and so is about 50% of my body (exaggerating), but my bones will heal and I’ll repair my car or get a new one. I mean, that’s what insurance is for, right?

What I didn’t expect out of all of this was to be hugged by Rosemary. Oh yeah, it fucking hurt but I just kept that to myself. She sniffled and I awkwardly patted her back with my one good arm, “Thank you for keeping them safe…” She said quietly.

“I-It was nothing, really.” I said timidly, “I wasn’t about to leave them alone.”

“Nothing? You saved them!” Jack said and shook my hand when his wife pulled away to dry her eyes and hug all of her children once more, “I can’t ever thank you enough for what you did for my family. I… I couldn’t stomach the thought if…”

I gave him a reassuring squeeze of his hand and he clasped my good shoulder, “It sucks that this happened in the first place but… I’m just glad everyone is alive…” I said, giving a nervous smile.

“Is he alive?” Jack asked, looking at the officer as he let go of my hand and shoulder.

“Yes, he is. We will be pressing charges, he blew above a 0.3.” The officer responded and Jack nodded, seemingly ‘pleased’ with that.

After exchanging contact information and addresses with both Jack and myself he departed, leaving the family to resume their reunion. I smiled awkwardly and looked away awkwardly, scratching my neck.

I haven’t heard anything about my relative having called or if they were coming, so I could only assume I wouldn’t be getting a ride from them. Or a ride tonight at all.

For a moment I was lost in my head, feeling a bit too sorry for myself. I moved all the way out here because there were jobs and rent was cheap, but I was so far from my family and friends, and even though I helped their children would I even still have a job?

I refilled my paper cup and sipped on the cold water before a nurse came to let us all know that after a final check over, we would be set to go home in an hour or so. Great, I better start making calls or something.

For a moment I didn’t realize that Rosemary was talking to me. I looked up as she repeated my name, “U-Uh yeah?” I said, looking a little confused.

“Do you have a ride home…?” She asked. Ah, oh no. I’m not about to ask these clearly exhausted parents for a ride home, I could only imagine they just wanted to get home and be with their children.

“No… But I can get one, don’t worry.” I said, but Jack shook his head.

“Nonsense, it’s the least we could do. You look like you need some sleep.” He said, making me chuckle.

“So do you two.” I laugh, “Really, you don’t need to. I’ll get a hold of someone eventually. Really!”

Rosemary shook her head, “No way, sincerely it wouldn’t be a bother. Where do you live?” She asked, and I reluctantly gave my street address, “Oh, you live just a bit down the way from us!” She said. Looks like it’s out of the question.

The doctor came and checked us all over one last time before giving me a prescription slip for painkillers for the next week and a half and we were permitted to leave. Jack carried his daughter while Rosemary held her son’s hand and I followed behind them.

I won’t lie, I’m pretty damn nervous. Checking out of the hospital took a little while as well, but soon we were free to go. That will be a fun bill to pay.

Rosemary sat in the back with the children, not giving me any chance to protest as I had to sit in the passenger seat next to Jack. Edd and Molly were clearly tired, cuddling up to their mother as Jack turned on the car and carefully pulled out.

It was incredibly clear that Jack was very, very focused on the road, not wanting to get his family into a car accident as well. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking, but I was just so glad that this didn’t end in tears.

The car ride to their home was mostly quiet, only some light conversation made. Jack was interested to know how I enjoyed my first day on the job.

“It’s been exciting…” I chuckled and he laughed softly, but I wasn’t all that comfortable or any less nervous. I did just want to get home and rest, because tomorrow morning I likely had to call my insurance and figure out how I’ll be getting to and from work.

If there even was a job anymore. With one half of the business owners likely going to jail I didn’t know if Jack would take on the massive workload, or if he would even want me to work there anymore.

“We’re here.” Jack let them know.

We pulled into their driveway and Sophie was the first to get out to help her mother take her siblings into the house with Jack telling them that he would be right back after he dropped me off.

“Have a good night, everyone…” I smiled and waved at them. Edd and Molly sleepily waved back before they went inside and shut the door.

It was surreal, everything that had happened. And now I was alone with my boss as he started to drive towards my home.

“I can’t believe he happened to crash into you…” Jack said and I nodded silently, “I could never thank you enough… You… I just can’t believe…” His voice cracked and he brought his hand up to wipe his cheeks.

“I’m sorry this happened… I’m just glad your children are safe…” I said, fidgeting with a stray string on my pants, unsure if I should pat his back or would that be too far? “You have a beautiful family, Jack, I’m sorry that you’re having to drive me home…”

“Don’t be sorry, you drove them to the hospital with a dislocated arm! I couldn’t imagine what it was like, being run off the road and into a ditch, upside down!” He said and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“To be honest, it was like a dream. One moment he’s coming towards me and I move aside since the road is pretty narrow, the next I see that he’s a bit too close over to my side and then finally I’m upside down in the ditch.”

“And- It was you! Who would have thought that my new employee would be the one to get hit.” He said, smiling softly, “Oh and don’t you worry about rushing back into work! I will be paying you your wages, you helped my family out, I’m going to help you too.”

“You-You really don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay!” I insisted, but he shook his head. He wasn’t having it.

“I want to, you don’t understand how stressed and worried we were…” He said, “I called Felix over 20 times, I thought the worst had happened and I… I started to lose hope I would ever see them again.”

“He’s going to jail for this, no doubt…” I said, “Will you be taking over the business…?”

“Yeah… It’ll be a lot but I think I have someone who I can rely on to help.” He said, smiling.

“Oh, good! I’ll try my best to pull my own weight.” I said, smiling, “I know you guys took a big risk hiring me fresh out of college but-”

“I- It’s you!” He said, “I know you just started, but your finance and programming degree is going to be a massive help!”

“Wha…?” I gaped at him. Me? Did I get a promotion? “I would be honored to help!” I smiled. I think I just became a manager or something, I’ll figure that out when I go back to work.

I pointed out my house and he pulled up in front, “I won’t let you down, I promise.” I gleamed and he smiled, holding his hand out for me to shake.

I did, not expecting him to pull me in for a hug. Looks like this was a really huggy family, it was pretty similar to my own family. “I know you won’t. Would you mind if you gave me your number so we can speak tomorrow? I imagine Edward and Molly would like to hear that you’re okay.” He asked.

I nodded and waited until he got a pen and a small black book to put my number in it before I opened the door, “I’ll speak to you soon, then… Have a good night, boss.” I smiled and he laughed.

“Just call me Jack. Really.” He said, “Have a good night.” I nodded and got out before shutting the door, walking to the front door. I grabbed the spare key from the mail box and gave one last wave after I unlocked the door. He flicked his high beams at me before he started to back up and I opened the door, shutting and locking it behind me.

It’s been a really strange night.

#the walten files #twf #jack walten #Rosemary Walten #Edward walten #Molly Walten #Sophie Walten #Reader #gender neutral y/n #No romance #No smut #Gen #Alcoholism

[luvidzy]

☆ genre: fluff

☆ pairing: han jisung x reader

☆ summary: you play video games with your boyfriend

☆ word count: 1.8k

☆ listen to: party tattoos by dodie

You smiled as you bounced on the balls of your feet, waiting in front of your boyfriend's front door. Despite the fact that you had been to Jisung’s apartment numerous times, that didn’t make you any less excited to see him and be with him. Your excitement was almost tripled due the fact your boyfriend had been beyond busy with producing things lately. 

As soon as the door opened, you launched yourself to hug the figure. You heard familiar laughter, the same laughter that always brought a smile to your face and butterflies to your stomach, as strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you impossibly closer to him.

“Hi, angel. Miss me?” Jisung’s voice sounded as he used his foot to kick the door shut. You didn’t respond, simply continued to hug him and bury your face into his body, taking in his familiar and calming scent. He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, before pulling you away ever so slightly. 

You finally looked up, a smile growing on your face as you were met with the shining eyes and gummy smile of your boyfriend. He looked relaxed and calm, something that was very rare for him most days. 

“Hey,” you finally said, Han just laughed, grabbing your hand as he pulled you into the living room. The living room was already occupied by the other boys, who all greeted you warmly as you walked in. You smiled, taking your usual spot in between Jisung and Jeongin on the couch. Felix and Seungmin were currently captured in a heated Smash Bros match, and you watched as they playfully dissed each other, the other members joining in every once and a while.

“You came at the perfect time, Y/N. We are about to start a tourney game. Do you wanna play?” Chan asked you. You pouted slightly as you thought.

“I don’t know. I’m not exactly the best at video games and I’ve never played before.” Your response was quickly followed by Jisung wrapping an arm around your shoulders and smiling proudly.

“I’ll teach you! After all, I am the reigning Smash Bros champion.” The other boys groaned, causing you to laugh. Jisung simply pouted as the arm around your waist pulled you back to lean into him. You snuggled in, enjoying the match between Felix and Seungmin.

Once they were done and Felix had bragged about his win for a solid five minutes, it was time to set up the tournament. With all 9 of your names inputted, the tournament began. You watched with intensity as Jeongin and Seungmin faced off against one another, playfully pushing each other to try and cause a distraction.

“Come on, Jeongin! Princess Peach is fucking S tier, how are you losing?” Hyunjin exclaimed, throwing his hands up dramatically. You laughed as Jeongin shouted something back, causing Hyunjin to join the fray and start playfully fighting him, letting Seungmin take the lead and win.

“This house is a fucking nightmare!” Jeongin said, prompting a loud laugh from you and the rest of the boys. Jeongin pouted as you plopped on the couch next to you, giving Seungmin the stink eyes as he handed the controllers to the next two players. Chan and Changbin got themselves adjusted and ready, before beginning.

Their game was definitely a lot less chaotic than the younger boys match had been, but that didn’t mean there was no teasing or nudging going on. In the end, Chan managed to pull ahead to the next round, cheering as Changbin let out a groan, falling over backwards as Chan rubbed his win in his friend's face.

The next two were Jisung and Hyunjin, which you already could tell would lead to a very heated match. People thought Seungmin and Jeongin were bad, and then they met Hyunjin and Jisung. The two were like brothers, and that meant they bickered like brothers would. The minute the round started, the two were yelling and pushing up against each other, causing you to laugh. 

“You two are gonna cause us to get a noise complaint!” Chan scolded, but he was laughing just as hard. Finally, Jisung managed to get a special item and get the final kill on Hyunjin, leading him to be the ultimate victor of the match. Hyunjin flopped over dramatically, whining as Jisung stood up and did a little victory dance, sending you a wink that had you giggling.

Luckily for you, you had managed to be the person who got to skip straight to the second round, which meant that the next pairing was Felix and Minho. The two were both competitive, but in a completely different way from the others. The room was almost silent, except for the aggressive sounds of the controller and the occasional comment from one of the boys. They were at a stalemate for a few minutes, neither being able to push the other off, until finally Felix managed to gain the upper hand and win. He laughed as Minho made a face at him, before standing up and handing you his controller.

“Okay, Y/N. Time to play.” You felt your excitement drain and your nerves build up as you held the controller in your hands. Jisung put a hand on your arm, before guiding you to sit gently in between his legs. His arms wrapped around either side and his hands placed on top of yours. 

“Don’t be nervous, baby girl. I got you. We are gonna kick Seungmin’s ass,” Jisung whispered in your ear, causing you to flush and you nodded.

“Let’s do this.” Jisung smiled behind you as you told him which character you wanted to play, before you took a deep breath and prepared yourself for the game. Seungmin was nice enough to give you a moment to figure out how to work the controls, even though Jisung was guiding you. And then finally the time came for the two of you to begin fighting. 

You didn’t start off too hot, your nerves taking over as Seungmin’s character repeatedly hit yours until you were so damaged that you got taken out by a small kick. Feeling a bit frustrated, you let out a groan.

“Don’t worry, angel. Just relax. You got this,” Jisung whispered calmly into your ear. Taking a deep breath while you waited for your character to come back to the arena, you mentally prepared yourself. The minute your character dropped back to the ground, you let Jisung’s coaching lead you to push Seungmin off twice.

With 1 of your lives gone, and 2 of Seungmin’s gone, the game was much more tense. And then the Ultimate Smash orb appeared. Without even thinking, you moved your fingers of your own accord to jump up and get it, successfully executing the move and taking Seungmin’s third life.

You let out a cheer, turning to look at Jisung who was also smiling happily at you.

“Good job, angel!” You gave him a soft, though a little awkward, hug, thanking him for his help as he just smiled at you. Despite the next game beginning, Jisung holding one controller and Bang Chan holding the other, Jisung didn’t move you off his lap. He simply rested his chin on your shoulder and kept his arms around your waist.

Your eyes focused on Jisung’s fingers, watching them as he moved and pressed buttons with fervor, letting out a little growl every couple of moments in response to the game that was playing out in front of him. You smiled to yourself, feeling warm and fuzzy inside at the scene that you guys must look like. You counted yourself lucky to have Jisung so willing to let you spend time with him and his friends, especially when they were playing games. But you also knew that Jisung loved having you around, and that his friends loved having you around, so you were never a bother even if you didn’t understand a game. They would be more than willing to teach and help you, and that alone made your heart soar into space.

You were startled out of your thoughts as Jisung cheered, dropping the controller into your lap as he lifted his hands up in victory, signalling to you that he had made it to the next round. Which, due to the fact that you guys were playing with an uneven number, meant that Jisung and Felix were duking it out for the change to battle against you.

Just like the last round, you decided to observe Jisung’s fingers, take observation of the way his fingers hit buttons and what happened in the match with his movements. Your brain tried to put away all the information that it was receiving, even after Jisung won the game against Felix. Jisung cheered as Felix groaned, mumbling how Han had just gotten lucky and that he’d get his revenge. Jisung rested his head back into its place on your neck, kissing your cheek.

“Guess it’s me against you, sweetcakes. I’ll go easy on you,” Jisung jokes, laughing as you stuck your tongue out at him and moved off of his lap. You settled back into your seat beside him and Jeongin, taking a deep breath as Felix handed you his controller. Your eyes scanned it over, trying to remember everything that you had seen Jisung doing. Worst thing that could happen was that you button-smashed and tried your best. But, you felt pretty confident as the countdown started and your characters were both placed onto the map. 

You stared at the TV and began to move your character. Much to your surprise, you were able to handle yourself pretty well for your second time playing. You managed to knock Jisung off twice, and he managed to do likewise to you. Finally, you both had one life each, and it seemed like no one would win. You were getting better, and you felt like a natural born player. You were able to dodge and counter attacks with ease, and you and Jisung were leaning so far forward you were afraid one of you would topple forward off the couch. Finally, you managed to hit him off the edge. You were sure that Jisung was going to make a recovery, but you were shocked when his recovery just missed the edge, causing him to fall into the abyss.

You stared, wide eyed at the screen as the large rainbow GAME flashed and you jumped up in victory. The boys were all clapping, cheering you on as your character stood at the top of the podium. You felt a strong pair of arms wrap around you from behind and lift you, causing you to squeal.

“That was fucking awesome, baby girl!” Jisung said into your ear, causing you to blush. As your feet touched the ground, you spun around and gave Jisung a hug.

“It’s all thanks to you, Sungie. Thank you for teaching me,” you mumbled into his chest. Jisung laughed, kissing your head, before pulling you back down to sit in his lap again.

“You did that all on your own, princess. Now, are you up for another round?” Jisung asked, handing a controller to you. You smiled, your face determined as you turned your attention to the screen again.

“Game on!”

#han jisung #han jisung fluff #han jisung x reader #han jisung imagine #han jisung x reader fluff #jisung #jisung x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines

[buckysbabygorl]

Rumours (Pt. 1)

Summary: Y/N and Bucky are all anyone has been talking about. They’re both sick of the ridiculous rumours, but is there some truth to it?

Pairing: bucky barnes x reader

Warnings: swearing, sexual themes

Word Count: 3.7K

Part 2

“All the time, Pepper. I’m telling you they flirt all the time. It’s becoming annoying at this point — I mean, of course I support it but if you ask them about it they’re “just friends”. Just friends my ass, they’re gonna get together. I just hope it’s soon so I don’t lose my bet with Sam.”

Pepper laughed at Nat’s rant. 

When she asked Nat to lunch, Pepper expected some nice girl talk. Maybe some discussion about missions but certainly not drama; especially not from the world’s most dangerous assassin.

“Well why don’t you tell them that?” Pepper asked, “Clearly they’re oblivious. Y/N and Bucky may be Avengers, but that doesn’t mean they’re superheros of love.” She commented.

Nat rolled her eyes at Pepper’s cheesiness. “Ew, no puns please.”

“Besides,” Nat shook her head as she leaned back in her chair, “What would I say? ‘Hey you’re both in love with each other, hurry up and admit it so I can get my fifty bucks’?”

Pepper giggled as she stabbed her salad, “Well, maybe not like that, but a little push wouldn’t hurt.”

Nat gave her a small nod, “You’re probably right, but I’m not one to mettle.”

“Oh no, of course not.” Pepper couldn’t hide the sarcasm lacing her tone, which made her the receiver of a glare from the red headed agent.

“I’m just saying-” she started, biting into her snack as Pepper waited patiently for her to finish. “—They’d totally fuck.”

This was not heard properly through a mouthful of muffin: evident as shock coated Pepper’s face.

“Wait, what did you say?” Pepper’s eyes lit up as she whispered, “They’ve slept together?!”

Nat choked on a chocolate chip. She tried to shake her head, correcting Pepper’s major mishearing.

“Wait what? N-”

“Nat!”

She didn’t get far as she was interrupted. The women turned as the voice echoed in the cafeteria. They watched as Sam approached them, who was clearly looking for the assassin present.

“Tony’s asking for you.” Sam explained, “Something about suit testing?”

Sam smiled as he turned to her company, “Hi Pepper.”

“Hi Sam.”

Nat stood quickly, not one for being late.

“Right, I almost forgot.”

As she started walking off, she turned and saluted goodbye to Pepper.

“Sorry, duty calls. Thanks for lunch, remind me to catch up with you later.”

Pepper smiled and waved goodbye. As the two Avengers departed, Pepper directed her attention back to what little food she had left. Little had they known, an onlooker had become very interested in their discussion.

Y/N and Barnes? How could she possibly ignore such hot gossip?

The receptionist from the table over leaned to Pepper from her seat. “Not to be nosy… but did I hear that right?” She asked.

“Hear what right, sweetie?” Pepper responded.

The young woman looked around to see who was listening, clarifying when she realized no one had heard.

“Sergeant Barnes and Agent L/N, are they really a couple?”

Now, Pepper was a professional woman. A COMPOSED, professional woman. She worked the hard 25/8 and was married to the most infuriating (but delightful) man of all time. She considered herself to have many virtues, many personality traits to be proud of. But the tendency to gossip? Maybe that could be her one vice.

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say ‘couple’,” Pepper confessed, “but certainly from what I’ve heard, there’s something there.”

“Oh my gosh,” the woman said, scooting her chair closer to Pepper, “I’ve seen it too. They always sit together at lunch; they never train without each other; all the joking around and flirting at meetings—but I had no idea they were sleeping together!”

Pepper smirked, “Don’t forget, their living quarters are on the same floor!”

The young woman gasped before she was rudely interrupted by her wrist watch. An alarm blared, alerting her their gossip would have to halt for now.

“Ugh, break’s over. But thanks for the talk Mrs. Potts, I swear the secret is safe with me!”

Pepper chuckled as she directed her attention back to her salad. As the young woman left the tables and headed towards the elevator, she pulled out her phone. Dialing quickly, she made a call.

“Hey, Monica? You’re not going to believe this—”

~

Bucky sat in Tony’s lab, anxiously waiting for this fix to be over. It was already 1:43, her lunch was usually over at 2. Was he gonna make it? He wasn’t gonna make it—

“You know, your fidgeting is actually making it harder for me to finish. So maybe if you could sit still for 5 seconds, I’d let you out in time to see your girlfriend.”

Bucky scowled at Stark’s remark.

“I question your capabilities if you can’t handle a little fidgeting.”

Bucky rolled out his free shoulder; his back cramping from his position on the table.

“And I don’t have a girlfriend,” he defended, “I’m just hungry.”

“Whatever,” Stark grumbled, “Y/N is busy with Barton anyways for target practice, she’ll probably go for lunch the same time you do.”

“Never said I was meeting Y/N,” Bucky grumbled.

“You didn’t need to, I’m not an idiot.”

Tony set his tool down, taking the small panel from the tray beside him and placing it back into its proper position on the soldiers arms.

“And even if I was,” he continued, “I’m not blind.”

The soldier huffed in annoyance but said nothing. This wasn’t the first time he had heard this spiel. Y/N and Bucky constantly had to defend their relationship to everyone in the compound. It started back when Y/N and Bucky both joined the team. Bucky was slowly gaining Tony’s trust, and Y/N had been promoted from desk jockey to field agent. They bonded over being newbies in an already-set hierarchy, and from that blossomed talk of a ‘spark’ that apparently everyone had noticed but Y/N.

Us, Bucky corrected himself, everyone but us.

“We’re just friends. I’ve told you countless times.”

Tony smirked as he adhered the panel back to the prosthetic. “That’s not what I’ve heard. Cat’s outta the bag on that one Barnes.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed as he looked down at Tony.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Tony looked up at him. The man was not one for subtlety; his face blatantly showing Barnes he didn’t believe him for a second.

“Come on. You can’t be the only one that hasn’t heard.”

Bucky shook his head. This couldn’t have been different from the normal; nothing had developed in his and Y/N’s relationship, nothing he was aware of anyway. Was this some inside joke he wasn’t in on?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Stark wiped away the debris from the panel, giving a once over to see if he had missed something.

“Everyone’s been talking about your little sex-capades with our lovely Y/N. Apparently you’ve been having quite the time together. And on company property! Could make serious money off of those security tapes.”

Though Tony meant it as a joke, Bucky didn’t find it very funny. If anyone had been talking shit about Y/N; he was going to snap.

“Stark you better not be joking about this, I swear to God.”

Tony looked up from the prosthetic.

“As funny as I am, this I’m not joking about. You and L/N have been a pretty hot topic. If you haven’t heard anything yet, you’re bound to hear the worst of it soon.”

“The worst of it?! Like what?”

“Okay easy kid, you’re denting my table.”

Bucky looked down at the table beneath him, realizing he’d been gripping the edge with his metal arm. He released it, leaving a deep hand print in the steel.

Tony sighed at the damage, but ignored it for the moment.

“If you want details, go talk to Sam. That’s who I heard it from.”

Bucky frowned, “Sam? He started this?”

“God no,” Tony laughed as he ran a hand over the dented table. That was gonna be a bitch to get out.

“He’s too dumb to be that creative, I think he heard it from some agents. Maybe the receptionist Gwen? I’m not sure, I’m not one to gossip.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and hopped off the lab table. Tony called after him as he left but his mind was too focused to internalize it. He needed to find Sam, or at least someone who could actually give him answers about what the hell was going on.

~

“Damn it!” Y/N yelled.

Another shot too far to the left, she was never going to get it right. Clint chuckled from the sidelines as she set up another arrow.

“Okay, okay. That’s enough for today. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.”

Y/N grumbled, setting her bow and arrow holster in Clint’s outstretched palm.

“I just want to get this down, I keep messing up.” 

“For your first session, I’d say you killed it. Besides, you’re not going to be perfect your first few times. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Clint patted her shoulder in comfort, knowing how the wheels were turning in her brain. She was a perfectionist; you had to be in this line of work. But Clint knew this skill came with time; even Nat couldn’t perfect a shot in one day. Not that Clint would ever tell anyone, of course. Nat would kill him. 

“Thanks Clint. I appreciate your help.” Y/N started to pack up her things and leave, “you wanna go for lunch? Buck should have a table for us by now.”

Clint smiled to himself, of course Bucky would have a table.

Clueless dork.

“I’ll have to pass, I’m working with Bruce today. He thinks he’s perfected new hearing-aids for me. I’m actually really excited.”

She smiled at his words; it had been a long time coming for Clint to get some half decent help with this. She knew how much it meant to him.

“Clint, that’s great! No worries about lunch then, I’ll catch you later?”

Clint nodded at her fleeting figure, turning his attention back to his own training. Y/N started to text Bucky as she exited the range before she collided into another body. Looking up, she realized it was her favorite little Avenger.

“Oh, hey Pete. Didn’t expect to see you here today.”

Peter beamed brightly at her, eager for some social interaction.

“Hey Y/N, is Mr. Stark in there? I’ve been meaning to talk to him about my new suit, web-shooters aren’t working and I can’t seem to figure it out.”

Y/N smiled at him as he blabbed on about build up in the formula; she always loved hearing about Peter’s and Tony’s father-son relationship. Like a kid asking for help on a science project, it was adorable and pure.

“No, he’s not in there.” She said, “I think he’s in the lab with Bucky. I’ll walk you down.”

“Oh okay, thanks Y/N.”

It wasn’t long after they began their walk down the hallway that Peter piped up again.

“Oh, and by the way. I’m really happy to hear about you and Sergeant Barnes! You always seemed like a good match. Though he’s always seemed really grumpy to me, but if that’s what you’re in to--”

Y/N let out a laugh that stopped Peter’s rambling.

“Sorry to burst your bubble kid, but Bucky and I are just friends.”

Peter was confused, obvious given his puppy dog expression.

“But—that’s not what Agent Hill was saying.”

Hill? Talking about her and Bucky? Doubtful.

Y/N stopped in her tracks; lifting her arm up in front of Peter to stop his as well.

“Pete, what exactly did Hill tell you?”

She could see the gears turning in his head.

“Well,” he started, “Agent Hill said that she had been talking to Agent Brackston, and she said that he had heard from Mrs. Jane in analytics that-”

“--Cut to the point kid.”

Peter nodded, he was taking too long.

“Well apparently everyone has said you two are together now, officially. Because you’ve been um—been intimate.” 

Peter’s voice trailed of at the last word, choosing silence as the safer option… considering the look on Y/N’s face. Not exactly angry, but terrifying enough to put fear in any walking man.

Y/N was at a loss for words. Where was all of this coming from?

She placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, a slight hardness in her eye, her touch firm.

“Pete, you’re my favorite. And because you’re my favorite, you are going to tell me everything you know.”

She smiled at Peter, Peter gulped.

“Now, let’s walk.”

~

Sam sat perched in his barstool of the lounge.

“What to do,” he thought aloud, “what to do?”

Should he tell Bucky first, or Y/N first?

Sam loved to get a rise out of people, all in good fun of course. He had to think of who would evoke the more entertaining reaction?

Y/N could either get overly flustered or overly aggressive. Bucky, he knows, will be overly aggressive straight away. But was it worth the freakout he’ll deliver?

Sam heard footsteps rapidly pacing down the corridor; apparently the decision had been made for him.

“Sam.”

Sam smirked as he turned in his stool.

“Barnes!” Sam greeted.

Bucky was furious, his trail blazing behind him.

“Start talking.”

Sam feigned innocence, a hand placed over his heart in concern.

“About what pal?”

Bucky nearly growled.

“You know damn well what about. The hell do you get off spreading lies about Y/N and I?’

Sam shook his head, “I haven't been spreading shit. I only told Stark, if he tells anyone that damage is his doing.”

Bucky scoffed, “Damn it Wilson, take this seriously. This is embarrassing. I have no idea what’s going on: you could at least be decent enough to tell me what’s been said.”

Sam sighed at his friend’s begging. That stopped being fun faster than he thought it would. Sam meant all his talk to Stark in good fun, but when he sees this upsetting the tin-can as much as it does, he nearly felt guilty.

“Alright, I’ll tell you what’s been said. Do you want the grapevine? Or the details?”

“Details first. Grapevine after, so I know who to kill.”

~

Y/N was fuming. For the past half hour she had been storming through the compound, everyone’s eyes had been on her no matter where she went. Where the hell was Bucky?

Nothing had ever changed. It was always the usual. People extrapolated the normal shit; the missions, the talking, the training. Hell, they’d dance together at Stark’s galas and maybe something new was said about the two. But it had never been like this. The conclusion she had come to, was that regardless of this whole stupid rumor runaround, it must’ve come from either her or Bucky; because how else would the narrative have changed. It sure as hell wasn’t her that said something; so now she was on the hunt for the winter soldier.

Y/N couldn’t press the buttons fast enough as she stormed into the elevator. Felicia said the last she saw of Sam was when he was heading to the lounge. And if Sam was there, so was Bucky.

She felt her anger pent up in her fists, mad heat radiating off her so hot she would have melted the elevator shaft. 

As the elevator arrived at her level she had to restrain herself from barrelling through the doors.

“BARNES! WILSON!”

~

“Oh no, someone’s not happy.” Sam joked. Bucky groaned internally, after what he’d just been told he could not face Y/N. This was so much worse than he thought it was.

“Think I can escape?” He asked.

Sam shook his head, “Not unless you’ve suddenly acquired super-speed.”

Y/N stomped to the boys, grabbing Bucky’s arm and pulling him towards the adjoining hallway.

“We need to talk. Now.”

Bucky was much stronger than Y/N, but he didn’t dare pull away. Not when she was as angry as she was. He hadn’t seen her this pissed since he went on a raid without his cevlar vest. 

She released him, poking a finger into his chest with a stern look. “Start talking.” 

Bucky sighed and rubbed his eyes, “Okay so, from what I’ve heard—”

“—I don’t give a damn what you heard. What did you say?”

“What?” He blurted.

“What did you say!? You clearly told someone something that made them think we were together.”

“Seriously? You think I would do that?!”

“No! Of course not! But I haven’t told anyone anything, and nothing has ever changed in the way people have talked about us since today. I didn’t say anything to anyone. So you must’ve Buck. So think about it! What the hell have you said to someone today?!”

Bucky groaned as he leaned his head back, “Y/N, I haven’t seen anyone all day except you this morning, and then Stark for my arm. And he is the one that told me what’s been going on, so that doesn’t make any sense.”

Y/N was taken aback, “But Peter said that Hill said that--”

“Y/N, don’t worry about the grapevine. It doesn’t matter anymore, things have already gotten so out of hand.”

Y/N’s head ducked in embarrassment; she so eagerly jumped on this bandwagon of gossip, going so far as to accuse her best friend. Some friend she was...

Bucky saw the change in her face, reaching out to place his hands on her shoulders. He was pissed but he didn’t need to take that out on her. It was just some stupid misunderstanding. “I promise I didn’t say anything to anyone. I know you wouldn’t either. It’s just some stupid game of telephone.”

Y/N smiled, he knew exactly how to bring her back when she got in her head. She rested a hand on top of his, running her thumb over his knuckles. Rough and calloused from years of violence; but gentle. Always gentle.

“So you didn’t say anything?”

He released her arms, at ease that she wasn’t upset anymore. “No, of course not.”

Y/N breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall facing him. She tried to calm herself. She let her head rest, thinking how things could have gotten so out of hand. 

“People have always thought we’re together. This can’t be any worse than it’s been before. Right?”

Her fear came back when Bucky didn’t respond.

“Right, Buck?”

She saw him tense up as he tried to look anywhere but her.

“Barnes. It’s not that bad—right?” She was practically begging him to lie to her.

Bucky grimaced, he didn’t like when she used his last name. “Honestly Y/N, it’s pretty bad.”

“Oh god,” she cried, “what have you heard?”

He cringed at the question; he didn’t want to have to say it. Especially when it was about... them... like that. “Don’t make me tell you. Please don’t make me tell you.” He turned away from her, embarrassed they were even having this conversation.

“Barnes, tell me right now.”

He felt himself giving in; with those big eyes pleading him he knew he couldn’t keep it from her. “They’re telling stories about us that haven’t happened. It’s not just rumours of this or that, it’s like- it’s like ‘people have walked in on us’ kind of thing.”

“What?! You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not.” He was just as annoyed as she was, and he was ashamed to be talking to any dame like this. Let alone Y/N.

Bucky mirrored Y/N’s position; leaning back on the other hall wall.

“What are the stories?” She asked.

“Sorry?” He must have misheard her, surely she’s not actually asking for detail. 

“I said, what are the stories? We’re adults. We can talk about it—”

“—Y/N come on, I don’t want to talk about this. It’s weir-”

“Buck please, it’s me.” She pleaded, “Can you please just do this for me?”

He looked over her features, eyes begging for honesty and lip in a subtle pout. He hated himself for it; but Bucky couldn’t say no to her.

“Alright, well…” he started, “Sam told me that one of them—”

A groan interrupted him, “—there’s more than one?”

Bucky looked at her, defeated. “Doll, you know I would’ve stopped them if I could’ve.”

“I know, I know—I’m sorry.” She muttered, “Continue.”

He cracked his knuckles; a nervous tick he’d developed over this years. “There’s one about us... in Tony’s lab. Someone said they’d walked in on us, trying to see what my arm could ‘really do’.” 

“Oh god—”

“Yeah, I’d had you hoisted up with my metal arm while I was, you know—“

Y/N gestured for him to elaborate. He sighed, “—you know, fingering you with the other.”

Her eyes shot open as she looked to the ground. Like she said, they were adults, they could talk about it. Talk about having sex in the third person, somewhat. He continued the story; and she was listening, of course. But she could also picture it... Her hands over his shoulders as he held her up, head rolled back as she moaned his name.

She cleared her throat, ridding the thoughts from her mind. “Okay, well that’s not that bad.”

Bucky nodded, eager to minimize the awkwardness. “Yeah, could be worse.”

“What are the others?”

“Y/N don’t, I-”

“Oh stop, we’ve gotten this far just tell me the rest.”

“Fine.” He ran his hand over his stubble, trying to remember the details… not that he could truly forget them. “Sam also said there’s one about us in the gym. I had you bent over the bench press, spanking you as I fucked you—” Bucky stopped himself for a moment, surprised at how vulgar his language had gotten. “—fucked you from behind. Saying stuff like, “you like that baby, am I fucking you good?””

Y/N choked out a laugh, “oh.”

Now that was an image, Bucky gripping her hips tightly. Hands roaming over her backside, whispering the dirtiest things in her ear.

She looked down to the ground, feeling the heat in her face worsen. “Crazy, the uh—imagination of everyone huh?”

This didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky. Could this, possibly, be turning her on? He took in her stance; the fidgeting, the avoiding eye contact, the red in her cheeks. He could practically hear her heart pounding from the other side of the hallway. Or was that his own?

Poke the bear Buck, he thought. There’s only one way to find out…

He didn’t need her encouragement to begin the next story, “Apparently the new recruits have walked in on us in the showers. We were both soaking wet, fucking hard. I had your legs wrapped around my waist and my hands were pinning your arms above your head. You were screaming like crazy, begging me for more. They said I nearly tore the tile off the wall from how hard we were going.”

Buck’s dripping wet body pressed against hers, as he rut his hips at a relentless pace. Her moans echoed in the shower as she raked her nails across his back. He felt the deep scratches trailing down his skin and deep groan escaping his chest, as he quickly grabbed her wrists to pin them above her, never losing his pace. “Keep it up doll, and you’ll get punished for that.”

She was lost, thinking unspeakable things of the man only 5 feet away from her.

Bucky knew now, he could feel the tension building up in both of them. His breath quickened, excitement felt electric in his skin. Are you picturing it now, he thought.

Bucky stepped closer to her, “Another is that a receptionist walked in on us after a meeting, I’d picked you right up as soon as everyone walked out, couldn’t keep my hands off you for more than a second. I’d torn off your blouse and marked the hell out of you, just completely covering you in bruises. Didn’t even stop when she walked in, they said.”

“Oh god, Bucky” she moaned as he worked away at her collarbones. His hands were harsh on her waist as she pulled at his brown locks. His stubble scraped over her skin as he bit and sucked the soft skin of her chest. “Careful baby,” he whispered, “don’t want someone to hear…”

Y/N snapped back to reality, realizing how close Bucky had gotten. His tongue trailed along his bottom lip, pulling the lip gently between his teeth as he watched her. Those pretty lips, he thinks. Those eyes.

“Imagine that? Being so caught up in each other we don’t even stop…”

Y/N’s heart was racing, her breath catching in her throat as the low rumble in his voice only further pulled her in.

“Even now, people probably think I’ve just pulled you away... because I can’t keep my hands off you for a goddamn second.”

She felt the heat in his hands as they hovered over her hips, gingerly placing them before he pulled her to him. He was trying to be careful, so damn careful as to not to break the moment. 

“I could just… pin you against this wall, effortlessly. Take you slow, just so I can get a damn good look at you. So I could feel you. Really feel you.”

The look in his eyes could only be described as sinful, she had never seen him this intense. It wasn’t a story anymore, he was telling her exactly what he wanted to do.

She slowly wrapped her hands around his biceps, biting her lip gently.

He could see the lust in her eyes; pupils blown wide as he’d captured all of her attention. There was a hitch in her breath as his lips ghosted over hers, the close contact sending shivers through his own body. Bucky nearly moaned, the sight of her was boarderline erotic. You’ll be the end of me, he thought, as his forehead rested against hers.

“You really think that’s what they’re saying?” Her voice low and sultry, “or is that what you want?”

Bucky bowed his head, lips directly by her ear, “what do you think?”

His teeth bit at the lobe of her ear, and he felt her nails dig into his skin. He was done playing now—

“BARNES!”

The two jumped, and turned towards the voice.

Sam was coming down the hallway, ending a call as he tucked his phone into his pocket.

“Steve’s looking for you, somehow you two have turned this whole place upside down with all the rumour—”

Sam stopped abruptly. As he took in the scene in front of him, he couldn’t stifle his smile.

“Am I—uh—interrupting something?”

Y/N and Bucky looked back to each other, separating themselves quickly. They struggled to explain themselves, avoiding eye contact with each other.

“No Sam, you’re not.” Y/N stammered. Her eyes rallied between the two boys, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck as she wrestled for an excuse.

“Um, I’ve gotta go find Nat. Just gonna—uh—talk to her about some things.”

Y/N hustled past Sam, hoping to act more composed than she felt.

Once she was out of sight, Bucky turned to scowl at Sam.

“Are you kidding me Sam?”

Sam howled with laughter, hand over his chest as he bent forward.

Bucky groaned, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “You idiot! You have the worst damn timing!”

Sam continued to laugh, struggling to speak through the tears.

“I’m sorry, I have the worst timing? You decided to make a move, while trying to convince everyone you’re NOT fucking?”

Sam continued his beltering down the hall, Bucky trailing close behind.

The soldier huffed again, mumbling “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you” as he followed.

Part 2

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #sebastian stan #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #buckysbabygorl masterlist

[depressedacadamia]

How do you passive aggresively say fuck you in flower? Part II

Summary: It seems that Nico and Will just cant stop running into each other

A/N: FIRST WEEK OF EXAMS OVER, ONLY ONE WEEK TO GO!! Unfortunately, I am not able to write a lot due to tedious revision but I wrote this part 2 a while ago and thought that today would be the perfect time to release it! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy and comment! <3 from me!

Read on AO3           Read Part I on tumblr

They were not expecting to see each other the next day at Uni. In fact, Will was so shocked, he had to pause and squint at the raven haired boy to check that he was the same as the customer 2 days ago. What was this dude doing here? This was the medical college!

Oh shit, what if he’s a new med student or a transfer student?

However, while it seemed that Will had noticed Nico, it seemed that Nico had not noticed Will; he couldn’t have been more appalled as he was ignored and he simply watched in despair as the italian jogged past him without a moment's pause. Not even a Hey, you’re the guy I made out with yesterday, right?

Will was used to having all his past hookups follow him like a sheep and sure, he hadn’t really hooked up with Nico but he was for some reason expecting some sort of reaction from him. Was he that forgettable?

He felt someone dig their elbow into his ribs and was about to shout What the fuck before he realised that Calypso was elbowing him.

“Calypso what!” He winced as he rubbed at his side, still in pain from Calypso’s pointy elbows.

“Do you think I should invite Leo to the dorm party?”

Will’s head perked up. “ Leo? Leo valdez?”

“Yes Leo Valdez, who else?” Calypso sighed.

“I thought you saw him making out with some guy at another party and then proceeded to pretend you never liked him in the first place-”

“- Which is true! I never liked Leo in the first place, he was just a friend!” Calypso desperately defended.

“Everytime someone says they’re just a friend and not they’re just my friend, you know that they’ve crushed on them.”

“Shut up.” Calypso whacked her bag over Will’s head, ignoring his shouts of protests.

Will’s hands instinctively went over his head, tucking his chin in to prevent himself from gaining any brain damage from Calypso. “ Hey, Hey! I work for you, little shit!”

“Exactly, I can fire you any second I want to!” Calypso boasted before remembering something. “ Wasn’t there a request that came in on Saturday? Something like fuck you?”

Will could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. “ Uh, yeah, maybe. I don’t really remember.”

Calypso recognised that tone. That tone was the same tone used during the walk of shame, that tone meant things that she did not want in her shop. Turning her head only halfway, she gave Will a grimace, praying that it hadn’t happened again.

“William Andrew Solace, Please please tell me that you didn’t have sex with another client in my shop!”

“For once,” Will smirked. “ For once, I can actually say that I didn’t.”

Calypso sighed in relief, all the tension in her body simply oozing out all at once. Her shoulders dropped and the tense expression on her face was replaced by her regular small smile that she constantly wore, causing her to seem quite shy, which technically she was.

“You know, you seriously have some nerve Callie, hitting your employees like that. That could be harassment. What happened to the shy girl who could tell me the latin name for any plant out there?”

“Just because I don’t hook up with every good looking breathing thing, does not mean I’m shy.” She put her hands on her hips and took several confident steps while swaying her hips before hitting a hard chest with a thud and feeling the hard floor on her butt. Frustrated, she huffed and without even looking at the perpetrator, began to shout,

“Are you blind or stupid? Look where you’re going for fuck sake.” She ignored the offered hand and got up herself, brushing her scraped hands on her pants.

It was only when Will nudged her, not very discreetly may I add, that she noticed that it was Leo Valdez who was offering the outstretched hand and another very scary looking dude standing by Leo. However, something about him seemed familiar- from the shape of his body to his hair and in particular his jawline. She remembered seeing it somewhere.

Fuck, that was the guy Leo was making out with at that party. She realised.

Simultaneously, Will was thinking- Fuck, that was Nico di Angelo.

“Sorry Leo, Calypso,” Will turned to her, completely avoiding Nico. “ Do you have anything you’d like to say to Leo?”

Claypso gave a bitter look to Will before remebering that Leo fucking Valdez was standing infront of her and she had essentialy told him to fuck off. She had to fight the blush rising to the tip of her ears and could only manage to muster a small pipsqueak of ‘sorry’ while looking down at the floor and having her face curtained by her chestnut hair.

Unexpectedly, she felt a hand move the hair out of her face and slip and finger underneath her chin and tilt it up slightly.

“The least you could do while apologising is look at him,” Nico snarled, standing off to the side, watching as Leo brushed her hair out of the way. Leo turned his head to raise an eyebrow that meant Not cool dude before looking back at Calypso, his eyes warm and his smile generous.

“Sorry about him, he’s running low on social interaction juice. Are you okay there?”

Calypso thought she could feel herself gaping- the worst part was that her little shit of a friend Will pointed it out.

“Close your mouth Callie, you’ll get flies. It’s impolite to stare as well,” Will drawled, his eyes still glued away from Nico. Leo glanced at Calypso’s injured hands, the small scrapes and the little cuts across her palms. His frown was cute, with his eyebrows scrunching up and his eyes pooled with concern as he took her hands in his.

“Oh, Dios mio. I’m so sorry- will you forgive me if I clean these up for you?” Leo held her hands gently, as to not hurt her.

Will butted in before Calypso could respond. “Uh, no, that’s not necessary. I can help her from here!”

Nico snorted. “ Yeah, the med- student definitely knows how to clean up his cuts.”

Will growled in response, unappreciative of Nico’s sarcasm. Leo’s frown in concern only grew, the small displays of guilt visible across his face. “ Are you sure? It’s the least I could do after causing you to fall.”

“No it's fine-”

“-Will, calm down. Yes, I’ll go, but you also owe me,” Calypso confirmed. You know your worth, you know your worth, She chanted in her head.

“Well well, a person who knows what they want, of course, I am in your debt. After you.” Leo pointed to the pavement ahead as he left Will and Nico alone. Nico looked Will up and down before letting out a little snort and walking off, not before giving him a little shove with his shoulder as he walked past.

Will was officially outraged. Who the fuck did this guy think he was? First of all, he was barging into the medical college when he didn’t even attend it, then he was barging him to the floor without even apologising and then laughing about it!

Will turned around while still on the floor and yelled. “Who the fuck do you think you’re pushing dipshit?”

Will really thought he had the upper hand. He was taller, felt he was relatively stronger and his reflexes were okay. But when he saw Percy Jackson, Jason Grace, Piper Mclean, Hazel Levesque, Frank Zhang and Annabeth Chase all crowd round Nico, he felt he was the most screwed person in the world. Luckily for him, no one except a girl with brown skin and confused expression turned around.

Will recognised her as Piper Mclean- she had been voted most beautiful girl in the entire Uni. It was rumoured for a while that she and Jason were dating but ever since Will spotted Piper blushing near a new girl, he highly doubted it. Piper raised an eyebrow and Will gave a sheepish smile as he tried to get up.

Piper scurried over, giving her friends a quick wave before running over to help Will. He accepted her hand, mainly because he was terrified that she may kill him if he didn’t.

“Did Nico knock you down here?” Piper asked as Will heaved himself up. Her voice was sweet, soft and had some element that convinced Will that he could trust her; however, at the same time, he didn’t want to snitch on Nico. He gave a blatant shrug and hoped for the best.

“Don’t worry, Nico always teases people he likes. Little idiot isn’t good at showing any emotion other than being horny or being an arsehole.”

“Are you sure those are emotions?”

“I take psychology so I sure as hell hope they are,” Piper confessed, laughing a bit. Will finally realised why everybody considered Piper so beautiful- she wasn’t just a pretty person, she was a nice person. She went out of her way to help others.

“I take medicine so I’m going to hope for the best that Nico doesn’t kill me. He avoids like I’m the plague then acts like he’s planning on murdering me in my sleep.”

“Wait.” Piper paused before turning to Will with a manic grin on her face. “Are you the guy from the flower shop who made the fuck you bouquet and slept with Nico?”

“We didn’t sleep together!”

But Piper wasn’t listening, she was calling Hazel over. Will watched as a girl with gorgeous dark skin that glowed in the sunlight and a tattoo over her left hand turned her head ever so slightly. Will realised why they called her Death’s sister.

She was undoubtedly beautiful but her silent aura was terrifying, like it was driving you to death itself. Large brown eyes that invited you into the darkness and hands that looked sculpted for leading one to their doom.

“Hey Hazelnut! This is the guy who stole Nico from Leo! And he made the Fuck you bouquet that Annabeth gave Percy!”

Will could feel his heart pounding as Hazel left the group and walked slowly to Piper and Will, her expression never changing. Suddenly, when she was close enough to throw a punch, she broke out into a childish grin and started squealing.

“So you’re the one who made Percy that bouquet!” Hazel grabbed Will’s hands and started shaking them excitedly. She giggled before giving them back to him.

“What does making Percy this bouquet have to do with any of this? I only knew Nico because we made out like once and then the fucker blanked me.”

“That’s my little brother you're talking about,” Hazel warned. Will instantly felt his eyes widened in horror before apologizing profusely; he remembered what Nico had told him about his sister and how the two of them had grown up. Hazel laughed before telling him that she was only joking and that he should let loose a bit.

“Was Nico with Leo when he ignored you? Leo Valdez? About yee tall, messy brown hair and ink on his overalls?”

“Yes…” Will nodded.

“Ahhh, that explains it. Those two have a complicated history. He was probably ignoring you because he and Leo might have gotten back together. Or maybe he just didn’t want Leo to know that he made out with you. Or…” Piper let out a grin that Will had no desire to learn the true meaning of.

“Maybe he was just using Leo to make you jealous,” Piper explained, very much used to the drama herself between Nico and Leo. If it wasn’t Percy and Annabeth, Nico and Leo were almost always in an argument.

“So…” Will was deadly silent for a second while his rage began to simmer. “ Are you telling me he cheated on that Leo kid with me?”

“ I really hope not,” Hazel grimaced, looking back at her brother.

“The little fucker,” Will muttered under his breath as he pushed past the two ladies and made his way towards the remaining group. He didn’t care that he was going to run into Percy Jackson, whom he’d had an underlying grudge with for as long as he’d been going to school, he was furious.

How dare he cheat with him. What was Will, some slut who ruined relationships? Hell no. Sure, he slept around but he didn’t go around getting into relationships and creating drama. One night stands were his protocol.

“You!” Will pointed at Nico viciously, his finger almost touching Nico’s nose. The rest of the group simply watched with amusement as Piper held back Jason, whispering who exactly Will was.

“You little cheating seething whore! What the fuck dude! You just make out with whoever you buy shit from?”

“I don't remember you having much of a problem with it.” Nico shrugged, only infuriating Will that much more. He was so tempted to just punch him then and there, in front of everybody including 6 of the most intimidating people he’d ever seen.

“I don't remember you mentioning you had a boyfriend before you jumped me,” Will spat. Nico seemed a little shocked at that comment, his lips shaping into a small ‘o’ before he let a sultry smirk spread across his face in a manner that showed he was relatively proud of himself, only pissing Will off so much more.

Why was the damned bastard smirking?

“Huh, what boyfriend?” Nico turned to Annabeth. “ Hey, Annie, do I have a boyfriend?”

Annabeth looked down at her watch for dramatic effect. “As of 4 months, you have been boyfriend free,” She started and only continued when she saw the smug look on Nico’s face. “That said, that does not mean you have been booty call free for said months.”

“What do you mean!” Nico cried.

“Oh shut it Nico, everyone knows that you and Leo have been playing each other’s booty call for ages now. Just end it and go out with the florist dude,” Frank scoffed.

“Or don’t! The florist dude sounds like a real ass!” Percy cut in, desperate to not let Nico go out with his lifelong nemesis, William Andrew Solace.

“Oh look, it’s Perseus,” Will taunted. Percy felt himself going red and the entire group went quiet. Will looked around, wondering why everyone was silent.

“Oh, you guys don’t know?” Will smirked, looking directly at Percy, the knowledge on the tip of his tongue. “ That’s what everybody called Percy in middle school, after we learnt the myth of P-”

The rest of the sentence was muffled as Will felt a hand wrap itself around his mouth. He looked up and saw the sea green eyes that read Shut the fuck up . Will, feeling nostalgia from this certain situation, smirked and stuck his tongue out, licking Percy’s hands, eliciting a yelp of disgust from Percy.

“Dude! Why do you always do that! Every fucking time I’m trying to shut you up, you pull shit like this!”

“You’re telling me that wasn’t the first time you tried to ‘shut him up’?” Nico and Annabeth both asked, hostility floating in their voices. Will gave a jolly smile at Percy who groaned and wiped his hands on Will’s shirt, muttering ‘gross’ under his breath. Will shoved Percy who proceeded to make a face back.

“How do you two know each other?” Frank asked, completely confused before Hazel went up on her tiptoes and began whispering in Frank's ear while he nodded along.

Nico, sick of Will’s attention not being focused on him butted in. “ Did you come all this way to flirt with Percy or what?”

Percy and Will both gagged and shivered, the idea of liking each other being just gross.

“I’m here because you son of a bitch, used me!” Will cried, flinging his arms out.

Nico raised an eyebrow. “I did?”

“Your boyfriend, booty call, whatever you wanna call them- was right there and I was just some pawn for you-”

“-If I wasn’t talking or paying any attention to you whatsoever, how on earth would I make them jealous?”

Will didn’t respond, his mind racking for answers, excuses, insults he could fling at the raven haired boy. He noticed he wasn’t wearing his lip ring that day.

“I think you should focus on the fact that Leo and I just so happened to be at the Medical College despite our majors being nothing related and we just so, by chance, crashed into you and your friend,” Nico hinted. He was a bit tired from how oblivious this blond guy was- hadn’t he made it obvious?

Will took a while to connect a few dots, but the problem was that he only connected the exact dots that Nico did not want him to connect.

“Wait, so Leo does like Callie? Is that why you guys are here?”

Nico wanted to fucking facepalm.

Saturday

The shop bell rang. Calypso was sitting at the counter with her apprentice, Meg. They were both chatting, something to do with the variation of a certain dandelion- Will wasn’t very sure.

He was sporting a daisy chain around his wrist that Meg had forced him to wear and a pink rose had been braided into his hair after much argument with Calypso that the thorns would hurt, in which she retorted that she’d obviously clip the bloody thorns.

When the bell rang, none of the three workers really snapped their heads up. But when the bell rang, and then rang and then rang again, they slowly lifted their heads from their conversation. Will, who had been leaning his elbows on the counter to talk to the two ladies, turned his head to see 8, very unwelcome people, walk into his shop.

Nico was standing there with all 7 of hids friends- Percy, Annabeth, Frank, Hazel, Piper, Jason and Leo. All of whom were very much not welcome in any way whatsoever in this shop.

“What are you doing here?”

The friends all glanced at one another before a few sputters of laughter were spread out. Nico, who was wearing his lip ring again, walked forward and picked up a red rose, twirling the thorny flower in his two fingers, ignoring the small prick it made.

He noticed the blood trickling down his thumb and lifted the injury to his lips.

“Didn’t I tell you last time...” Nico asked, his voice teasing but also malicious, a small corner of his lips stained red. “That you’ll be seeing a lot more of us?”

#Nico di angelo #Will solace #solangelo #solangelo fanfic #will solace fanfic #nico di angelo fanfic #nico x will #nico x will fanfic #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson fanfic #pjo fanfic #annabeth chase #jasion grace #piper McLean fanfic #frank zhang #Hazel levesque #hoo fanfic #leo valdez #calypso #meg mcaffery #solangelo drama #solangelo angst #eventual fluff

[nohoney]

Do It For Me - 3.3

warnings: 18+, threesome, polyamory, mentions of assault, toxic relationships

title song: Do It For Me

summary: 

You trust him.

“Anything?” you turn your head and ask against his lips.

“Anything…” he echoes back to you. “And fucking everything…”

“For me?”

“All for you princess.”

3.1 ✧ 3.2 ✧ 3.3

It’s not that you want to defend Jun in the first place for strangling you, you think he definitely deserves a kick in the balls or something, but Touya is not against beating someone blind for touching you and would not be sorry for going overboard. You had one scary instance where you went out together to a social on campus, back when he was still Dabi to you. A drunk frat guy grabbed your arm too hard, too insistent that you drink with him and his buddies when Touya left to go have a smoke, leaving behind a bruise on your bicep. Touya witnessed it the moment it happened and he dragged that guy to a hallway and proceeded to beat him silly.

You can’t move fast enough as Touya moves through the house, his eyes rapidly scanning the faces of the remaining partygoers and searching for Jun, damn near out for blood. Keigo has no idea what’s going, trying to ask what was wrong and you’re calling out for him to not do anything crazy and to calm down. “Jesus, fucking wait! Dabi! Dabi, I swear to god do not do anything!” you call out him, uncaring as you capture the attention of several of the people still in the house.

Keigo tries to grab Touya’s arm to get him to slow down and get a sense of what is happening. “Dude, talk to me! What the fuck is going on?”

“(Name) got fucking strangled and I know exactly who did it.” Touya growled and shook Keigo’s arm off. Turquoise blue zeroed in on his target who was standing by the sliding door leading to the outside.

You’re pinned by Keigo’s gaze when you come up behind him, his eyes now registering how badly bruised you are around your neck. You can see how his eyes harden instantly but his hands are so gentle when he pulls you to him, carefully cradling your cheek in his hand. “Who did this (Name)? Who put their filthy hands on you?”

It looks like Keigo might be on board with the ‘beat Jun’s ass’ club.

There’s a loud slam and a screech of ‘what the fuck dude?!’

Touya has Jun pinned against the glass of the sliding door, both his wrists restrained in Touya’s large hand while the other is grasped tightly in Jun’s hair and squishing his face into the glass. He’s got one leg in between Jun’s spread out legs, taking the assertive stance and ready for any kind of struggle he may receive. You can practically feel the malice rolling off his body in waves and you’re genuinely scared to approach the situation but you don’t think you can take witnessing Touya get violent on your ex-boyfriend, even if he deserved a good punch in the face.

“You fucking touch my girl and put your goddamn hands on her! I should shatter your fucking kneecaps!” Touya growls and slams Jun against the glass. “You think that you would get away with it, huh?”

“Dabi, stop it!” you tell him and look to Keigo, pleading with him to do something to stop Touya. But Keigo has that same look as your boyfriend, wanting to inflict pain on the person who hurt you and does nothing despite you shaking his arm and begging for him to calm the situation down. People begin to gather to see what all the ruckus is, cell phones slowly coming up to record what is surely going to a chaotic clip.

Jun is such a jackass, he hasn’t changed that loudmouth of his when he’s obviously in trouble. He taunts Touya as if he’s got any power in this situation at all. “I don’t see why you’re so pissed off man. Isn’t she, like, one out of the four other bitches you see? I think you can stand to rent her out to me for a little bit. It was just a little choking, nothing I haven’t done with her already.”

Touya slams Jun against the glass again, his teeth grinding so hard you swear that you can hear it from where you stand. “Oh my fucking god, Jun! Shut the fuck up! It’s like you’re trying to get your ass handed to you!” you tell him frustratingly, remembering this unsavory part of his persona when you used to date him. “Dabi, he’s drunk. He always talk like an ass when he’s drunk so just let him go.”

“This bastard fucking strangled you and you expect me to let him get away with it because he was drunk?” he hisses at you. “You think I’m supposed to be okay seeing you walk around with all those bruises on your neck because he was drunk?”

God, this was not how you wanted your night or your roll to go.

There’s a look of realization in Jun’s eyes at Touya’s words and he cranes his head the best he can to get you in his view. You can see the way he squints his eyes towards you and registers the damage he had inflicted on you, his mind sobering up a little. It’s not an excuse that he was drunk for what he did to you, it absolutely is not, but it’s clear that he had overestimated just how hard he grabbed you and didn’t actually mean to do it that hard. Honestly it felt a little rough for you but you didn’t anticipate either that you’d get bruises. Jun deserves a consequence for strangling you but you’re not asking him to get maimed or anything like that.

You don’t want him to get hurt but Touya will inflict a punishment he sees fit though, regardless of how you feel.

The severity of the consequence should never exceed the crime… right?

“Shit… (Name), I didn’t know that I-” Jun starts speaking to you but yelps when Touya bends his head back with the hand he still has planted in his hair. “S-Shit Dabi, I’m trying to apologize! I seriously didn’t—”

“Shut the fuck up.” Touya growls and you swear the entire room just freezes. “Don’t you say her fucking name, don’t you fucking look at her, you don’t get to say shit to her. You’re speaking to me now, understand?”

“Keigo! Fucking stop him!” you beg once more and pull on his arm. You’re getting flashbacks to that frat party, especially as Touya drags Jun to the backyard, it mirrors the memory of him dragging that poor frat boy. When you move forward to stop himself yourself, Keigo holds you back and just tells you to stay with him. You wrestle in his arms but he holds you tightly, shushing you with his lips pressed against his temple and telling you that everything will be okay. Your heartbeat is rushing in your ears and you feel light headed, anxiety rising and the scene in front of you feels unreal and you feel yourself to dissociate, your mind attempting to protect you from the trauma of witnessing Touya’s temper a second time.

There’s two boys that rush from the house to pull Touya off of Jun.

“You kicked his ass plenty Dabi, you gave him what he deserved.”

But Touya doesn’t feel like it’s enough, damn near lunging at the defenseless Jun on the ground.

Jun is an idiot, especially when he’s drunk, he used to come to your old apartment in the middle of the night sometimes a little beat up from being in a bar fight. You could remember your disappoint in him, that you told him if he kept on being a jackass while he was drunk then he’d surely get himself killed one day by the wrong person. And then you would bandage and clean up his scrapes and ice his bruises, kiss his cheek and keep him company until he fell asleep.

It’s wrong to think this in the moment since you’re with Touya, but you want to run to Jun and make sure he’s okay. You want to stop his bleeding nose and ice the poor bump on his head, tell him that he’s going to be okay. You want nothing more than to nurse his wounds because you still cared; Jun was wrong, you’re still too fucking nice. Even after that break up and him putting his hands on you, you couldn’t bring yourself to seriously consider him getting hurt as a proper punishment.

Touya better not find out that you feel that way.

You feel like your brain is going into overload, the memory of that first time witnessing Touya’s anger colliding with this experience now. The ecstasy and alcohol still coursing through your system definitely do not help either. Drugs, alcohol, and anxiety don’t make a good combination; you remember that very clearly from that first house party you attended with Keigo and Touya. They mix together and you feel like you are both flashing back to that memory but are also present in this moment, that same anxiety rushing through every part of your body and unsure how to handle itself, your body does one thing in response to all the stress.

You pass out.

━━━━✧

The instant it happened, it felt like everything moved in slow motion as you watched Touya grabbed that drunk frat boy and moved through the crowd of uni students who were either drunk or on something. The music was loud but you still kept calling him, shouting the loudest you could to tell him that it was an accident. Maybe that guy really did mean to grab you that hard or he really was just too drunk to register the strength of his grip on your arm, but a bruise on your arm was not the worst thing that could have happened with a drunk guy at a college party.

That didn’t stop Touya from clearing out a hallway of the frat house to beat that poor frat boy, you had watched helplessly because pleading didn’t get him to stop. So you did the only thing you knew would get his attention: you cried. The moment Touya heard your sobbing he had stopped instantly, coming to you shush you. There was blood on his knuckles and you had dared to look just a bit past him to see the frat boy with a bloody nose and blood stained lips. The guy had come out with just a busted nose and a slight concussion and when the fraternity president caught word that it was Touya that beat one of his brother’s, he took you and Touya to the side a week after to find out the story.

“He grabbed her, left a bruise on her arm after she said that he wouldn’t leave her alone. You can’t tell me that if you were in the same situation that you wouldn’t have done something about it?” Touya asked as he had lit a cigarette between his lips.

The fraternity president had sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before speaking. “I’m not saying that I wouldn’t have done the same, but I have a duty to protect my brothers Dabi. The proper thing to do would have just been to bring him to me. Now my brother has to take two weeks off to recover, I had to lie to the goddamn dean that he got too shit faced and fought with one of the pledges. The fucking frat house is on a probation now!”

You remember as you stood close to Touya, keeping your head down and somehow feeling like this was all your fault even though it wasn’t.

“Do you think he went overboard?”

You bristled at the question, not prepared to be spoken to again and thought that the boys would just talk it out amongst themselves. You had looked between the two of them and rung your hands together out of a nervous habit when you were put on the spot. You could never condone Touya’s actions because he clearly went too far over a simple grab on your arm, but you were scared of what his reaction may be if you spoke what you felt.

“You don’t gotta say it, it’s on your face.”

It’s not like that fraternity president saying it for you made it any better.

Touya had huffed, puffing on his cigarette and blowing out the smoke. “I fucking defended her, end of story.”

“Dabi… there is such a thing as excessive force. It’s clear that my brother was too insistent and grabbed her a little too rough, but fucking shit it did not have to come to that. I’m sorry but something has to be done, my brother deserves a little bit of justice too.”

“Hm…” Touya threw down his cigarette before telling you, “Go wait in the car.”

“But Dabi—“

His glare had sent you practically scurrying back to his car, waiting in the passenger seat as you watched from where you were. The worst case scenario was that you thought they were going to fight each other but they just stood where they were and continued to talk. At least they did up until you watched Touya lean in close to the fraternity president’s ear before he had pulled back and walked back to the car and got into the driver’s seat. You didn’t dare say a thing, the tension in the car palpable as he turned on the engine and drove back to his place.

You waited patiently for that so called justice the fraternity president spoke of but nothing had ever happened, trying to ask Touya what exactly he said to dodge any consequences of what he did. But you were forced to move on and leave the incident behind because he refused to tell you anything, just that he did what he thought was right and that he did it for you.

It was one of the first instances you learned that Touya will withhold what he feels likes you don’t need to know.

And you don’t question it.

━━━━✧

When you open your eyes, you’re lying in the backseat of a car and assume that you must be in Touya’s car. You still feel hot and groan over the fact that you passed out, feeling like shit since the ecstasy was still processing through your system. Thankfully you were already on a come down so you’d just have to ride it out again, though it would be slightly more raggedy considering the circumstances of why you fainted. Your teeth ache and your mouth feels dry, smacking your lips and slowly sitting up in the backseat. “I feel like shit.”

“You look like it.”

It’s not Touya or Keigo that speaks to you.

You jump as you look to see who’s in the driver’s seat, now recognizing that this was not in fact Touya’s car but a complete stranger’s instead. Despite your sluggishness, your body tries to go into overdrive to save yourself from potential danger, reaching for the door handle to just tuck and roll out the car. But the driver anticipates your action and locks it just in time, the vehicle slowly coming to a halt at a stop sign. The driver turns back to you and hands you a bottle of water, “I don’t normally take any favors from anyone but Dabi promised that if I took you back to his apartment then he would do something for me.”

It’s Shigaraki.

You warily take the bottle from him, the cap unbroken so at least you know that it’s new and it doesn’t have anything in it like a roofie. Chugging the water, it helps calm you down a little but you’re questioning why you’re being taken home by this stranger instead of by Touya or Keigo. “Why are you taking me home? Where’s Dabi and Keigo?”

“I don’t know who Keigo is but I’m assuming that’s Dabi’s friend when I pulled up at that house. He didn’t say where he’d be, just told me to take you back to his place and watch over you until he gets back.”

Whoa… Touya hates having people at his place. The fact that he’s letting this Shigaraki guy into his apartment to watch over you, that definitely speaks volumes because Touya likes to watch over you himself first and have Keigo take care of you if he’s not around. You still don’t know what this guy’s relationship is to your boyfriend and you don’t know who he is period so you keep your guard up for now. You see your purse on the floor of the backseat and you pick it up, finding your phone inside and seeing that the time was almost four in the morning. “When did you come get me?”

“Not too long ago, maybe like ten minutes ago. Your fucking boyfriend was blowing up my phone and telling me to get my ass to that stupid house all just for me to babysit you.” the words are mean itself but there isn’t a bite to them, a hint of annoyance at most. “He mentioned that you were on ecstasy, didn’t want you to be alone on your come down.”

Your phone has no messages from Touya or Keigo and your mood drops even lower; you want to be with them. “Did they say what they were doing? Where they would be?” you ask as Shigaraki pulls into the guest parking of Touya’s complex and turns off the engine of the car. The door clicks and you’re able to open the car door, stepping out into the crisp air of the very early morning.

Shigaraki walks ahead of you, carrying a little backpack that’s slung on his shoulder and he pulls his hoodie over his head. “I didn’t ask, I don’t really care about what he does in his personal life.”

You unlock the door to Touya’s apartment with the spare keys and allow Shigaraki in first. It’s so strange to be in his apartment and not be with either Touya or Keigo for company. Shigaraki leaves his shoes by the front door and goes to sit on the armchair, a recent purchase that you and Touya bought together. You see him pull a handheld game device out of the backpack he was carrying and just fixate his gaze on the screen of it, not paying you any attention.

Closing the bedroom door and locking it, you go to the bathroom with your phone and try to ring either one of the boys; they both go straight to voicemail.

It feels better to be cleaned up and in loungewear, though your body craves the affection of your boys. They always take care of you when you go through your come down, this would be the first time you go through it without either of them. So you walk back into the living room to see Shigaraki still sitting in the armchair with his game, two glasses of water on the coffee table, obviously one for himself and the other for you.

Keigo left you his pack of gum in your purse, tossing it on the coffee table after popping a new piece into your mouth. You take the throw blanket from the little storage underneath the couch cushion and snuggle into the fabric. The fabric vaguely smells like Touya’s cologne and you know that he’s slept on this blanket without washing himself up first which would normally annoy you but you’re grateful this time, feeling like this is the closest you can be to Touya at the moment.

The tv is turned on and you just run a random sitcom series to watch, keeping the volume low enough where you think it won’t distract Shigaraki from his game. Without neither of the boys to take care of you during your come down and this stranger keeping you company instead, you feel even lonelier. All you can think of is where they are and what they’re doing, why their phones aren’t on and when they’ll return to you.

You want something to distract you.

“Who are you to Dabi?” you ask to Shigaraki as you shift your gaze to him.

He doesn’t answer right away, seemingly focused on his handheld but he answers vaguely, “Just an acquaintance.”

You shouldn’t ask, you know you shouldn’t because if Touya wanted you to know then he would tell you himself, but you ask anyway, “Why did you come here that one day? What did you need to talk to Dabi about?”

Shigaraki answers vaguely again, “Just some business between us, that’s all.”

“When you came by that day, I didn’t see him until the day after. I came back over here and he was high or something like that.” you don’t think you should be explaining all this to Shigaraki on the off chance that Touya and him aren’t involved like that but you can’t stop running your mouth. You’re still so curious about that day and this guy could be the only person to fill in the blanks of what happened that day. “Did you have anything to do with that?”

“What Dabi takes is up to him, I just made sure he got back here alive.” It’s just more vague answers and it starts to frustrate you.

You’re not certain if Shigaraki is under orders from Touya to keep his mouth shut or if he’s just naturally dodging the questions without a prompt from Touya in the first place. It seems like he doesn’t want you in his business either, not exactly looking happy that apparently he was harassed to babysit some girl that he doesn’t know. “What did Dabi promise he’d do for you? It’s not like him to reach out to other people for favors, especially when it comes to me.”

The handheld device plays soft music that suddenly shifts into a different soundtrack, hinting that whatever game is being played means that he probably went into a battle or something. “He just said he’d do something for me, we haven’t worked out the details just yet. Just pretty much wanted me to come get you in a hurry, so here I am guarding his princess while she sobers up from her roll.” You hear a victory anthem before the same soft music from before plays. “I didn’t even know Dabi had a girlfriend this entire time, didn’t think he was capable of being locked down by someone.”

You ask all these questions but no light is shed on who exactly this character is.

“Are you, like, a drug dealer too?”

The little game plays whimsical music, little chirps and tones that sound much too cute for a scary guy like Shigaraki to be playing.

“Did Dabi tell you anything?” he asks you when he looks up from the screen of his game to look at you.

You feel nervous under his gaze now and regret asking your question, you feel like the wrong answer given to this guy will bare a really bad consequence. “No. He doesn’t tell me about that kind of stuff, doesn’t want me to know. I can’t ask him myself, he’d just get mad at me. And it’s just,” you pause to take a breath and hoping that this next sentence won’t get you or Touya in trouble, “when he came back that day after we met, he came back with a case full of drugs. So I’m just taking a guess that maybe you’re his supplier?”

Shigaraki stares at you and you stare back.

He looks back down at his game and continues to play it. “I’m not into getting high or using any of that shit but Dabi likes to sample it if he’s interested. He’s got the strongest tolerance out of anyone I know. Though not to say that I haven’t had to revive him once or twice.”

Oh god… the thought of Touya overdosing and dying makes you spiral even more.

What kind of life is Touya leading? And you have to wonder what exactly his plan was in life before you came along and what his future ambitions were. Talking about the future wasn’t really something that came up, you were surprised that you’re coming up pretty close to the one year mark. You have to figure though that with how serious things seem between the two of you that it’s a discussion that has to come up sooner or later.

“No more questions, you need rest.”

You snuggle into the blanket and inhale Touya’s cologne to bring you a sense of comfort. All you want is to be sandwiched between the boys right now. They’d give you head massages, play with your ears, pass you back and forth to cuddle with, and they’d just coddle the fuck out of you. And they’d know exactly when it was okay for you to fall asleep during your come down, without them you’re just pretty much guessing.

You pull up your phone and go to your photo album, scrolling through your favorite pictures of you and the boys. Touya isn’t really one for taking pictures, he’ll be in it but he rarely looks into the lens and gives a smile. There’s more photos of him looking away but the best ones are the candids that you and Keigo liked to take. Those images of him captured in soft moments or when he’s genuinely enjoying himself, never mind that some of them have lines of coke in the corner of the picture or that he only looks so relaxed because he’s high on opioids. One of your favorites you captured so him just smoking a cigarette outside with the sunset just beyond the horizon.

The next picture you pulled up was of Keigo and Touya together, the both of them had fallen asleep in your bed waiting for you to come back from your lectures one day but passed out from drinking the night before. The more you looked through the photos, the more you missed them and wondered when they would be back.

It was useless to try again but you rang their numbers one more time, sighing when it went straight to voicemail again.

I miss them.

“Do you know when they’ll be back?” you ask Shigaraki and hope that he’ll have an answer for you.

Shigaraki just shrugs his shoulders in answer and continues to focus on his game. “Dabi didn’t say. Though if I had to guess I’m assuming that he doesn’t want to be away from you for too long, he wasn’t exactly happy handing you off to me. He threatened that if I touched you the wrong way then he’d have my hands.”

“Well he’s gotta trust you to some degree if he placed me with you right?” you asked him. Touya doesn’t trust anyone outside of you and Keigo so Shigaraki must fall within the circle somehow.

“He considers me not as scummy compared to other people so that’s the only reason why I’m here.”

You make yourself comfortable against the couch and look at the tv, not really paying attention to what’s playing. “I’m tired but I feel like my body won’t let me rest.”

Shigaraki’s game beeps and in between what sounds like a battle, he offers something in his bag to help you sleep. You highly doubt that it’s melatonin that he’s offering you in the bag and tell him that you’re not allowed to take anything if Touya’s not the one providing it to you. As tempting as it seems to take something to help you sleep, you don’t know how your body will react to taking something while on a come down.

“You’re a big girl aren’t you? Dabi shouldn’t have to be the keeper of what you can and can’t do.” But you want to be good for Touya and follow his rules, more than anything you want to be good for him and be rewarded for it. Shigaraki’s cares are so little as you decline his offer, shrugging his shoulders and continuing on in his game with a quiet, “Suit yourself.”

You don’t know exactly when it was you fell asleep but when you wake up, you’re in the one place that you’d been wishing for the past few hours; curled up right in between Touya and Keigo.

The sun is out and if your curtains weren’t covering the window then you’d be getting the full blast of sunshine. You can see the dark circles underneath both of their eyes from staying up who knows how late, you had no idea when they returned and you figure that Shigaraki must be long gone. They breathe peacefully in their sleep and you just notice the placement of their hands, Keigo sleeps behind you with his hand on your hip and just one finger tucked in the band of your panties while Touya has his hand placed underneath the back of your knee and just simply holds it there.

The question of where they were can be put on hold for now, this is all you want in this moment.

━━━━✧

It’s hard for you to not bring it up every time either of them give you something or when they move to hold your hand. They’re not trying to hide it because they know it’s obvious but you’ve already learned from the both of them when to not ask about certain things. If they wanted you to know, you would have been informed by now.

They must have been too tired to clean up completely that night you passed out, you woke up before them and peeled back the blanket to see their hands with some dried blood and their knuckles bruised. Touya acts the same as ever and so does Keigo, but he’s careful to give you that warning look or a little tap on your thigh when your eyes lingered too long on their hands.

It’s been a little over a week since that night, burning curiosity that neither of the boys will cure for you. So you have to investigate on your own but without directly involving yourself, you ask a friend who’s still connected to your ex to find out how Jun is and make her promise that she won’t ask you any questions if she discovers something.

She gets back to you rather quick in just a few hours, it surprises you. But the only thing that she can inform you is that Jun’s still pretty beat up from the party with a broken arm and a black eye. “I heard that Dabi and Jun had a fight at that house party and that you passed out. But everyone says that some guys took Jun home after pulling Dabi off of him, he must have been acting up with one of the dudes that took him home, we both know how he can be when he’s drunk. That idiot is always starting fights when he’s wasted.”

That’s the story that she told you but it doesn’t feel right. When you look down at the boys’ hands, you get a strong feeling that something more went down. Touya was the only one beating down on Jun at the party while Keigo kept you at bay, so you have to question why Keigo’s hands look as if he had also beat someone up when you clearly remember that it was just Touya inflicting the blows at the party. Not to also mention the fact that you woke up in the care of someone else after passing out instead of with them. But you won’t ask, they won’t tell you anything and you figure that it must be for the best. Just like what Keigo told you before, if Touya doesn’t tell you anything it’s for your own good.

To the best of your ability, you try to move on from it.

Touya sits behind you, propped up against the headboard and holds your legs spread open for Keigo who lays on his stomach and eats you out. A playlist sets the mood in the room, playing from the little bluetooth speaker on his bedside table that is surprisingly loud. You recognize the beginning of the song that plays next but you can’t quite put your finger on where you heard it before, like it’s been a while since you’ve last listened to it.

“Cum on Keigo’s face, c’mon pretty girl. Do it.”

Whatever he says, you’d do anything for him, you trust him, you love him… you think.

Touya’s humming in your ear in tune with the song and it triggers the memory of where you’ve heard it. The bass of the song, the little piano that plays in the back, the chorus and lyrics. It’s a fitting song, the one that’s playing in the background. It’s the song that he played on loop the first time you sat in the back of his car. You didn’t pay much attention to it the first time but when you listen to the lyrics, you now realize how fitting they are. “I’d do anything for you.”

You let out a little pitched whine when Keigo presses the tip of his tongue onto your clit.

The bruises on their knuckles are fading but they still serve as a faint reminder of a night that you probably won’t get any answers if you ask what happened, just like that night you unknowingly ingested LSD.

Touya’s shown you things you’ve never done before, things you probably wouldn’t have even given a chance if not for him. He makes you feel like never before and you want as much as he will give to you, you have him in a way that no one else has before.

You trust him.

“Anything?” you turn your head and ask against his lips.

“Anything…” he echoes back to you. “And fucking everything…”

“For me?”

“All for you princess.”

Keigo kisses up your body, licking a stripe up your neck and captures you in a kiss, taking your attention off Touya. Any thoughts you have about Jun or that night, their touches and their words erase it for the time being. You drown in the affectionate names, drunk on their attention, whining and mewling, their cocks wiping your mind blank as they fuck you into the mattress.

Neither of them have dared to wrap their hand around your throat even though you do desire it but the bruises are still tender. So only soft kisses and careful caresses around that area in the mean time. Too caught up in your own ecstasy, you don’t see how their gazes soften when they look at the bruises, unable to see the correlation of how they go just a bit softer for you up until you asked to be hurt and for them to be mean to you.

So they give you what you asked for, sharp smacks to your ass that make you cry out, bite marks all over your body that make tears gather in your eyes, pulling their cocks out from you and making you masturbate in front of them for not begging the right way, and degrading you when you’re unable to articulate any coherent sentences when they fuck you silly.

And as mean as they were to you per your request, they’re extra nice in the after care as Keigo massages your sore body and Touya rubs soothing lotion on the sensitive parts of you skin. You ignore the fading bruises on their knuckles, knowing that it’s no longer important what happened that night but you make them promise that they don’t leave you with someone else the next time you have a come down. “You’ll do that, won’t you?”

Of course they promise you.

Touya will tell you if he feels like you need to know something, that’s how he protects you, how he keeps you safe, how he keeps you his. And you fell for it, genuinely believing that this is his form of love for you. Early in the beginning you didn’t even think that the two of you would come this far, that you’d just tell him how you like to be fucked and eventually things would fizzle out, especially with the whole ordeal with the side whores. Yet here the two of you are, bordering on the edge of an unhealthy love that neither of you can recognize.

He confessed to you himself that he’d do anything for you, that you’re all his and he makes you feel like you’re the one for him. You’ve given him your trust and hopefully you’ll eventually confess more than just your lust to each other.

━━━━✧

Touya’s glad that he’s finally able to bite, choke, and kiss at your neck again just a month later though it was a hassle for you to cover up every time you had to go out, the weather starting the transition into colder temperatures later in the night but still warm enough during the day time to wear short sleeves. He’s relieved to see that the bruises are gone, he felt like every time he saw the marks he would get that same sharp rise of anger like the very first time he saw them. He knew something was fishy when he heard that thump upstairs and when he stepped into that room with you and your ex, not trusting how you withdrew into yourself but he didn’t want to act without a probable cause.

He had watched two guys from the party drive off to drop Jun off at wherever he lived, but not before he bribed one of them with a little extra something so that he could get the asshole’s address and pay his own little visit later on. At that moment, he was more concerned with making sure you got home safe, the only other person he knew that would probably do him a favor was Shigaraki but only if he did something in return. He wasn’t a fan of leaving you alone with him but he would be damned if he was going to let that Jun bastard off for what he did to you. The punishment had to be executed the soonest it could happen. He gave him an easy beating at the party but it wasn’t enough, Keigo believing so too and riding in the car alongside him after securing you in Shigaraki’s car.

It was so fucking satisfying hearing Jun’s terrified whimpers and pleas, he has to hide how giddy he feels when he remembers Keigo breaking the fucker’s arm.

His knuckles feel a bit better, it only took a week or so for the soreness to go away.

You’re his good little doll, not asking questions despite the obvious evidence on his and Keigo’s hands the day after. You have your suspicions but you’ve learned well to not ask unnecessary questions and he just had to reward you in the best way that he knew how to, making you a cock drunk mess until you were too stupid to say anything but his and Keigo’s names.

It’s getting close to a year since the two of you made it official, a few weeks away actually and Touya’s surprised himself that he’s committed himself this far. He wouldn’t trade anything else in the world for what he has with you. He watches you with a fondness he’s never had for anyone else and he’ll do whatever it takes to make you stay with him, right where you belong. It’s so good that you’re compliant, Touya would hate to have to fight and break you to make you stay with him.

You and him are walking downtown together, his arm slung around your shoulder and making casual conversation about the upcoming cold weather and needing to buy new winter clothes. The two of you are going to meet up with Keigo at a bar later on so you kill some time. You want to stop inside a little boutique and see what they have, Touya will just stand outside and have a smoke while he waits for you, he doesn’t mind. He lights one up between his lips and brings his phone out of his pocket, messages about if he has more oxys and xannies. He responds back accordingly, puffing smoke out between his lips with ease and sucking in more nicotine into his lungs.

He pockets his phone and stomps out his cigarette as you come out the store a few minutes later with a little bag in hand. You talk excitedly about what you purchased and Touya listens absently, his eyes just briefly looking to the side when he sees him for just a quick second.

Jun stands a decent distance away, his arm still in a sling and cast. He’s frozen in place when he’s caught under Touya’s sight, absolutely petrified. You don’t see him because your back is to him, completely unaware of the silent interaction between your current boyfriend and your ex-boyfriend. All Touya does is subtly lift his arm from the small of your back and clenches his hand into a fist while keeping his gaze on him; it’s all the warning Jun needs to turn on his heel and walk the opposite direction.

Keigo waves to the two of you when you arrive at the designated bar, already having found a table and he just has a round of waters for now along with some chips in the center to snack on. Touya lets a little smile come onto his face as you barrel into Keigo’s arms, greeting him with a kiss and excitedly holding up the little bag you had shown to him earlier. Touya honestly doesn’t remember what you bought nor the store that he stood in front of waiting for you.

All he thinks about that in the moment is seeing Jun on the same street you stood on, seeing Jun with that fucking smug look on his face when he entered that room at the party, remembering Jun fucking begging to stop the pain as Keigo had him restrained so that Touya could inflict more pain on him before Keigo wanting his own turn as well. For a moment that bastard is all he can focus on to the point he has a headache and feels like he needs to pop a few oxys. But you pull him from the storm of his mind with just a simple touch to his thigh, looking to you and he sees your face, your smile… and he feels calm again.

Jun is the past and he’s your present, there’s no need to focus on what has already happened.

Although if Touya had the choice of going back in time to deliver an even worse consequence to Jun, he would absolutely do it in a heartbeat.

He’d do it for you.

━━━━✧

Part 4 of the Us Series: Tell Me (When You’re Ready)

#dabi x reader #todoroki touya x reader #takami keigo x reader #takami x reader #hawks x reader #bnha x reader #bnha #tw drugs #tw toxic relationship #tw assault #us series

[nelllraiser]

hell’s true north | adam & nell

TIMING: current. LOCATION: hellscape number ??. PARTIES:  @walker-journal & @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: adam follows his compass home. CONTAINS: sibling death (brief references to the bea plot), mass poisoning (from inhospitable domain), parental death mentions.

Vines with the texture of withered leather fingers writhed under Adam’s feet as he stumbled out of a brackish puddle of ichor. Disaster response boots that’d been designed to weather fire, acid, and radiation had eventually yielded before the onslaught of otherworldly environs. Now the ragged soles barely clung to his feet, wrapped tight with bloody strips of bloody demon hide. The most cutting edge kevlar, environment-resistant tactical gear, breathing apparatuses, and deadly military firearms had been gradually ravaged into uselessness by universes full of chemicals and alternative laws of physics that Earthly science had never imagined. As the tactics, preparation, and martial science Adam had once relied on was stripped away in the nonstop battles with demonic flora and fauna, the title of Hunter had become brutally literal. 

Adam spelunked through caverns that formed from the innards of sleeping elder things, scaled cliff sides made of solidified light and shadow, jumped across archipelagos of bone islands floating in stormy skies, climbed up trees the size of skyscrapers whose fruits were embryonic sacks in which monsters gestated, hiked across the savannahs with rolling plains of scalpel-sharp obsidian grass, and tightroped across worlds that were just spider webs of tentacles stretched across abyssal gyres. 

Adam was now a ragged figure where a dauntless soldier had once been, the shreds of his tactical uniform stitched together with leather and pieces of chitin. Once the olympics-ready peak of health, the footballer’s veins were stained with dark lines across his skin and he stumbled across the landscape of grasping roots and tide pools of black blood. His breathing was shallow treks through world after world had wracked the Hunter’s body with alien toxins that even the mutant’s regeneration was failing to fight off. Adam’s vision was blurred with the edges and everything muscle in his battered body begged to just lay down in darkness. 

But the compass in Adam’s hand pointed the way across the hellscape of fire, floating islands of tentacled flesh, and geometric monoliths to old gods that's already sunk into dreaming torpor long before humankind had discovered fire. Adam fought back agony and followed the compass needles across the poisoned land. 

Everything had blurred together by now. Nell couldn’t even clearly remember how she’d gotten to this realm, just that she’d fallen through far too many holes in the ground, off cliff sides, or out of sky-hanging oceans to even begin to remember what world this was. The red skies she’d originally arrived under were long gone, barely a memory after all the worlds that had followed, and all the attacks she'd scrambled to come out of in one piece. Though perhaps calling herself one piece was being generous when she’d resorted to packing the missing chunks of her flesh with whatever she could find that didn’t instantly sting and burn at her open wounds. She didn’t know how long it had been since she’d slept, time still immeasurable in places like these— just that she hadn’t done it since the baykok’s attack. The lack of sleep meant she hadn’t been able to replenish a single shining grain of her magic after she’d been quite literally drained and fed from, her body having nothing but sheer determination to keep her wavering feet from falling out beneath her. 

Something was the very definition of fundamentally wrong with this world in terms of survivability. Nell could feel it in the way each breath felt sharper than the last, and the ugly coughs that had her spitting up black specks on the palms of her hands. None of the places she’d seen could have been described as friendly, but this one felt like it was digging her foot deeper into the grave with every second she stayed. She needed to find a way out if she wanted to make it another hour. Nell was far past the point of finding a way back to White Crest, ready to settle for a hellscape that wasn’t killing the witch with every inhale of her lungs, and go from there if she could manage to last that long. How long had she lasted already? How much longer could she last? She’d always been a fighter, refusing to go down without taking at least a part of her attacker with her. But how could she carve out a piece of a world? How was she meant to rage against an entire realm? Maybe sometimes there was simply nothing to fight against, the hand of Fate snuffing out her life whether she liked it or not. 

And yet she kept walking, limping along as the injury on her leg oozed with some otherworldly infection that promised to kill her if this air didn’t. There was no direction, no plan, just the foolish hope that she’d stumble into a place where she could properly breathe. She walked until she could barely make out a figure on the horizon, squinting her eyes against the bright green and dingy brown of this place while she wondered if this would be the final creature to kill her. But the figure grew closer, and despite her best judgement an uncontrollable wave of hope flooded her chest. “Adam?” she dared to utter, even though she knew it was far too good to be true. Nell and the hellscape had done this before in the form of a tikbalang sending her astray with the perfect illusion of her hunter. “We’re doing this again?” she asked the air in a tone that was resigned to the disappointment of finding another falsehood, the high instantly giving way to a low. “What is it? Another tikbalang?” But this Adam was different. He looked sickly, and past the point of battered— like he’d already knocked on death’s door only for death to tell him to come back in ten or so minutes. They’d call him when they were ready. Why would an illusion-caster show her this? 

Hallucinations had become ever more common as toxic environs and constant otherworldly stimuli wore down Adam’s nervous system. 

Sometimes it was dad, gently reminding him of past lessons as Adam fought his way through nightmarish creatures and tried to find his way through landscapes only possible in other realities. Other times it was James or Terry, come to chat idly about football and girls as Adam trekked across wastelands whose sloping yet flat contours didn’t obey the rules of time and space. Dave gruffly reminded him about knots and the perils of marine warfare as Adam journeyed through rivers that flowed up into the sky and seas of sentint poison. Regan gave pointers on splinting a broken arm with a demon’s bones all while primly reminding him she wasn’t that kind of doctor. Orion nervously recounted facts about obscure demon types as Adam ducked claws and spines while trying to find a weak point. Ariana punched Adam in the arm and reminded him to buck up and put on a tough grin when everything was just pain. Athena gave advice on slowing the poison’s spread through his body with her mixture of tenderness and steel. Kaden brusquely correctly Adam on his stances as the younger Hunter’s limbs trembled with neurological damage, before reminding him to stay alive. Mina kept him vigilant, pointing out dangerous movements and sounds even when every fiber of Adam’s body wanted to sink into oblivion. Morgan spoke gently to him when the horror became too much, her hand on his shaking shoulders when the mental strain of glimpsing elder things sent Adam into seizuring convulsions. Dani reminded him of duty and their ancestral oaths with a concerned smile when ancient deceivers whispered in Adam’s brain, offering easy miracles in his moments of weakness. Luce yelled at him to get the fuck back up and fight when Adam could barely stand and death’s release drew close. Beatrice demanded that Adam remember who he’d come her for, when poisoned dreams threatened to swallow reality entirely. 

So this was not the first time Adam’d met Nell and had to hold back tears when stabbing yet another shapeshifter to death or felt crushing emptiness when it turned out he’d only embraced only empty air. 

Adam looked down at the compass needle, pointing unerringly forward. 

“Hey Nell,” Adam rasped through cracked lips, taking a green stone with a hole through its center from a cord around his neck. He held out the Adder Stone in one hand, gory knife clutched in the other. “When’d you give this to me?” 

Nell looked to the Adder Stone held in Adam’s hand, her solemn resignation to the illusion disrupted by the flickering of uncertainty in her eyes. The compass was a new addition as well, though she recognized the daffodil bloom she’d carefully laid into the face of it, the magic and flowers they’d made together under a full moon. “But I didn’t- I was gonna give you that after the date,” she mumbled, already chiding herself for how easily a couple of emotional trinkets could sway her mind towards what the demon world wanted her to see. But the compass wasn’t what he was asking about. The Adder Stone. Of course she remembered when she’d given it to him- the first of many things she’d gifted in an attempt to keep him safe. 

“After Bea- after we...brought her back.” Nell had masqueraded the gift as a thanks for Adam’s help in bringing her sister back from the ether, but the truth had gone deeper than that. “I said it was for helping protect my family. But I just- the carachs had just given you those visions, and the somnivore thing wasn’t that far off.” It’d been nearly a year ago that she’d delivered the stone, nearly five months after their first meeting at the Ring, and by then she’d already gotten soft for him. “You were hurting and- I didn’t want you to hurt.” Taking the Adder Stone between her fingers, she swallowed hard as she held it before her face, already dreading the moment he’d disappear before her eyes. The motion sent her into a brief coughing fit, the heaves long and loud as her lungs desperately tried to dispel the poison in her system. At the end of it she finally raised the stone’s center to her eye, knowing this vision and her willingness to linger with even a false Adam had already shaved precious moments off the stopwatch that was ticking down the seconds until the poison got the best of her. “Let’s just- let’s get this over with.” It was silly, and she shouldn’t have said it knowing he was nothing more than an exhaustion or demon induced delusion. But she couldn’t help herself as the next words whispered from her lips, trying to find a moment of peace in a land that had never known it. “I miss you. I’ll miss you.”

Finally Nell looked through the stone’s center, still surprised at how solid it felt in her hands, wondering if that was another lie to be chalked up to feeling dead on her feet. Except Adam didn’t fade from view, didn’t disappear into nothingness as she locked her gaze onto his familiar and brown eyes. She gasped, still hardly believing it but reaching out nonetheless, letting the Adder Stone thump unceremoniously against his chest while its cord slackened and her hand found a gentle resting place alongside his cheek. Warmth. Perhaps a little too warm, as if he were running a fever. But there was the unmistakable feeling of life beneath her fingertips, and she didn’t hesitate a moment longer to close the space between them, slipping her other hand into his. Her knees grew even more unsteady, either from shock, barely having the energy to hold herself upright, or both— and for a moment she rested a little more weight against him than she probably should have considering his state. But it was impossible for her not to sink into the first safe place she’d found since the onychorror had snatched her. She’d finally found a place where she was safe in the hellhole. A place where she’d always been safe to crumble, to relieve her walls of their nearly ever-present duties. A place where she knew it was safe to fall because he’d never once stumbled when it came to catching her. “How- How did you- you’re real? Please- either this is a really good mindfuck or-” Or Tate had made good on his deal, and managed to get her hastily doctored sigil back to White Crest. Was it possible something had actually gone right? Had gone so right as to bring the man she loved to her side?

Adam let the knife fall from his hand onto the writhing ground and put his arms around Nell. There was a moment of tenseness, of resigned expectation. But she didn’t turn to mist, slip right through him, or boil up into some hungry thing. Tidal waves of relief and shock at something too impossibly good to be true collided in Adam’s chest. Nell was solid, real. Just a moment Adam couldn’t feel the heat of the burning sky or the poisons of alien worlds killing him cell by cell. 

“I’m real,” Adam assured holding her tight with what strength was left in him. “I’m really here.” He entwined the fingers of their free hands. “I don’t want any other life except one with you in it,” the Hunter confessed, wasting precious water as the tears slid down his bloody and battered face. 

“So uh...here I am.” 

Nell could feel her own tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, an avalanche of relief washing over her near-ravaged spirit, almost still waiting for this moment to break in a way that left her spinning. But the moment never came, and Adam was breathtakingly solid within her arms. For a long breath she savored the peace he brought, like a salve over an open wound. She wanted to bury herself against him, to hide from the world around them and pretend like it didn’t exist, but the fear that he’d disappear if she so much as looked away from his gaze was too great, afraid to even blink lest the break in their eye contact be the blip of time needed for him to dissipate from under her hands. 

She could feel her pulse gain a few extra beats while Adam made his declaration, heart in her throat while she ran his words on repeat through her mind. It was wrong. So wrong that such beautiful words should have to be uttered in a world as ugly as this one, spoken between the gasping breaths of a dying pair. Nell had always known that loving Adam wouldn’t be easy between his constant brushes with death, and the conditioning that often made him feel the need to put humanity’s welfare before anything else in his life. She’d done it nevertheless, having made peace with the fact that maybe he wouldn’t ever wholly be her’s, a part of him always belonging only to his mission. The pieces of him she’d been given had been more than enough. But that didn’t mean his admission didn’t tug at her heart, didn’t make it soar in a way that made a fluttering bloom in chest that had nothing to do with the poisonous air slowly killing her.

“Here you are,” Nell finally managed to repeat in wonder. Hadn’t he been the one trying to convince her to leave him behind should the demon apocalypse commence? He'd told her that she was a part of humanity’s hope for survival, that she should abandon him for the sake of the world. It was his own words that made her know the gravity of him choosing to come for her, to potentially sacrifice one of humanity’s hopes in the form of himself by searching for her in the endless worlds. And that was enough to keep her voice steady and sincere while she spoke. “I don’t want a life without you either.”

Part of Nell wanted to be upset with him, to scold him for being so foolish with his own life by following her into the portal, but she couldn’t manage to speak the words through the temporary moment of solace they’d found in the middle of hell— unwilling to break it. Unfortunately there was something else that needed to be said that would do just as good a job at shattering their moment of quiet. Something she couldn’t ignore. “There’s...something else I need to tell you.” Let her hold onto this shining feeling for just a few more seconds before she brought them back to reality.

Adam had grown up with the knowledge that his life wasn’t his own. It belonged to humanity’s destiny, a merciless idol that generations upon generations of his family had been sacrificed to appease. The abnegation of the self had been soothing in a way, it’d made him brave in a way. It doesn’t hurt to suffer and risk your life again and again if it isn’t truly yours to lose. He tried to never deceive the women in his life. Nobody deserved to be given only part of someone to love. 

Mom and dad had loved each other intensely, and Adam had seen the aftermath after the needs of humanity had demanded yet another sacrifice. At the time he’d thought he’d learned a lesson from Esther Walker’s sorrow, and was determined to never hurt someone the way his father had. 

But after three years of complete radio silence, Adam had spoken with mom and learned too late that he'd gotten it all wrong. As he’d grown, so had she, and neither mother or son were the same broken people that’d parted at Gehena 19. 

Penelope was a person he shouldn’t have loved. She practiced demonology, the very art that’d fucked up the world in the first place. She’d participated in human trafficking and slavery. She’d performed ritual human sacrifice. She’d hunted down bounties without any concern for morality or a higher cause. She aided and abetted supernatural criminals simply because of her personal feelings. When these actions reaped consequences, Nell responded with personal wrath and revenge rather than seeking resolution, splintering tragedy into ever more fractals of repercussion. 

Basically, by every standard he’d been raised to believe in, Penelope Vural was evil, and if she hadn’t been born human Adam would’ve been obligated to kill her. 

But that’s not what happened. At first it’d just been that she was a useful ally. Next it'd just been typical horndog Adam, thinking with the head in his trousers rather than one on his shoulders again. Physical attraction and wary partnership had explained things for only so long however. She was brave, self-sacrificing, vivacious, and free to act according to passion and her free will in a way Adam had never dared to be. Eventually Adam was sharing things with her that he’d never dreamed of telling anyone else. 

He wasn’t supposed to care about someone like Nell, to give her so much of what belonged to the mission. Adam could only love someone also sworn to fight the same war, no one else could understand the sacrifices necessary and what’d inevitably come sooner rather than later. Adam had been introduced to Huntresses his age with the unspoken understanding that eventually he’d find someone to fight alongside and raise children with to pass the sacred charge onto the next generation. 

Adam had drank, partied, and screwed his way into forgetting for a while. Until suddenly, he ended up loving the wrong person, someone who wanted Adam for just himself, war be damned. 

It wasn’t the right thing. 

But what if he just….did y’know?

What he just loved Nell like she deserved without holding back, fight for his own humanity for a change?

Adam just wished he'd had the courage to take that plunge earlier. 

Adam looked parted the embrace slightly so that he could meet her gaze  “What is it Nell?” 

Nell hadn’t planned to fall for Adam Walker, hadn’t even entirely noticed how close she’d let him get until she’d felt like she was on the edge of losing him, delivering the news that August Thompson had died a death far from peaceful— that Adam’s hand had been directly involved in the spellcaster’s demise. Of course she’d known he was one of the people she’d trusted most, one of the only people she’d ever let see her stripped to the core while he’d held her after Bea’s death. It was why she’d asked him to help in the first place. But she hadn’t realized just how much there was to lose until she was standing on the precipice. She’d been convinced that it would be the end, that she’d managed to ruin something before even really letting it begin, and that he wouldn't come back. It turned out she didn't need to worry about him coming back, because he’d never left in the first place. And he kept not leaving, something that had been rare in the life of a witch who had an overzealous temper and a reckless streak a mile wide. 

So when he’d done things others might condemn or draw the line at— killed a werewolf in cold blood, admitted his own bloodlust beneath a full moon, gone on a murder spree fueled by the same moon, considered a demon pact, left her on read in the middle of feeling as if she were about to lose him...there’d been no choice of whether or not she’d grant him the same loyalty, to stay with him just as he’d stayed with her. She’d just wanted him to come home. And he always had. Even now, after fighting his way through literal hell, he’d come home.

Selfishly putting off her bad news for one moment longer, she let months of feeling the sun on her face when he smiled fill her soul, holding onto that feeling as she tried to find the words for what she wanted to say. What needed to be said if they didn’t make it out of this hellscape, and what she should have said much sooner despite being scared. She’d been worried about what he might say in reply, always thinking of that part of himself that she knew he felt he couldn’t give, not sure if she wanted to hear the ‘I’m sorry, but’ that she might get in response. But the man who’d dived into hell for her deserved to hear it, and she wasn’t scared anymore. “You know I love you, right?” He didn’t need to say it back, she’d finally realized that while he’d been walking towards her, knowing loving words could never speak as loudly as his actions had. “I just wanted you to know,” she assured him, letting him know she didn’t need to hear it in return. It wouldn’t change anything. 

Now for the less charming of her news. “Not to...instantly bring the mood down but...the other thing I needed to tell you…” Nell glanced over her shoulder, as if the soul-snatching creature would be there even now as she divulged news of it. “There’s a...slaugh. I think it’s been following me.” Adam would know what it meant, that such creatures only went after those who were generally mere hours from dying, waiting to devour their souls. Nell had glimpsed it as she kept rubbing elbows with death in the hellscape, the being momentarily coming into focus while she’d barely escaped a demon encounter with her life still intact. The creatures were nearly as good at predicting death as banshees were.

Adam followed her gaze towards the burning horizon where plasma storms corrustated in lightning rainbows over living plains of crawling flesh. Slaugh were vultures of the spirit world. As a kid he’d been terrified of the invisible presences that set off his Hunter senses whenever there was a clash between militia forces around the Levant. It’d felt like a blizzard of dark wings, choking him with claustrophobia on empty arid plains covered in bodies shredded by shrapnel.

Mom had assured her son he wasn’t crazy. He could just feel the demons glutted humanity’s senseless wars against itself.  

Adam‘s mind went back to Regan’s prophecy and felt an iron dread settle in his stomach, adding bittersweetness to the joy and relief coursing through his enervated body. 

Adam let the future go and drew Nell close against him again, just letting this moment exist for as long as hell allowed. “We’ll figure it out when we get back to Earth ,” he murmured.

The tension in Nell’s shoulders melted as Adam pulled her back, savoring their togetherness for as long as she could, feeling true hope for the first time since...she wasn’t actually certain how long it had been, not even knowing how many days she’d been stuck in these hell-worlds. She drew a long breath while she was pressed against him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze to assure herself that he was still here- still real even though it seemed impossible that he was. When they got back to Earth. It seemed like a far off hope, like shooting for the moon without any of that bullshit optimism of landing among the stars. “Then you can tell me the plan when we find a place that’s not suffocating us.” He wouldn’t have come without one, right? It was one thing to condemn himself to death, and she wouldn’t be entirely surprised given his generally self-sacrificing nature, whether that had been taught, was natural, or a combination of the two. But it was another entirely to forfeit the life of her as well by diving in without an extraction plan. He wouldn’t have risked the person he was saving.

The slaugh was worrisome enough as an omen of death, but there’d been more to consider when it’s eating of souls was brought into play. Nell still wasn’t all that sure whether she’d want to be raised from the dead in the first place should she perish in the next twenty-four hours, but if the slaugh ate her soul...she wouldn’t have a choice to begin with. You couldn’t raise a body without a soul. 

Again Nell fell silent while she drank in as much as this as she could, the dread in her stomach a constant reminder of how far there still was to go. But with Adam- at least she stood a chance. With Adam they could at least sleep, taking varied watches. And then maybe some of her magic would come back and Adam could heal, and then...well then they’d at least have a fighting chance together, always stronger together. Nell used her fragile strength to bring herself to the tips of her toes, trying to press a gentle kiss to his black-veined cheek before feathering across his lips. “We’ll figure it out when we get back to Earth,” she echoed, recognizing it as another promise they could hold between them. They’d go back to Earth together in the same way they’d fought the dolorphage, the way they’d faced an unknown future beneath the full moon all those months ago, and the same way they’d taken on a demon cult and lived to tell the tale— always together.

#// DON'T LOOK AT ME IM EMOTIONAL #as alwAYS tapir just gives me a GIFT of a chatzy #wickedswriting #chatzy #ch:adam #hell's true north #sibling death tw #mass poisoning tw #parental death tw