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obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts · 3 years

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Mc Already Has a Partner

*before coming into the Devildom

I imagine MC just doesn't talk about their partner much in this scenario because it makes them sad. The thought of potentially never going home and never seeing your loved one again would make a lot of people shut down, and seeing as MC in game doesn't refer to people outside of the Devildom often (or at all that I'm aware), I think this may be the case.

Also!! I added some other boys 👀, because I've received two donations on ko-fi! And I would have done this sooner but really I didn't know what I was going to do to show my appreciation!! So, I've decided to add on some boys (or maybe some other stuff... keep a look out 😋) as a thank you. I'd also add your name too if you'd like, but I didn't know if these people wanted theirs added!!

Lucifer

He didn't expect you to be single, so he doesn't know why he's so shocked when he finds out.

He's even more confused as to why he's hurt by this.

You're just a human afterall. Not much, definitely nothing compared to him.

(But if that's true, then why does his heart beat faster when he sees your face, or hear your laughter? Why can't he get you off his mind?

Lucifer is a proud man. There's a reason that's his sin, and unfortunately, that makes him a too proud to admit his feelings to the face of possible rejection.

So when you go home after your first year, he doesn't really expect you to come back. Not when everything you've ever wanted is everything he can't be.

Mammon

He doesn't know how he's supposed to feel.

Is he an idiot like everyone says? Is he dumb for not expecting this? Is he pathetic for being hurt?

He doesn't know, and he doesn't care. All he feels is anger and numbing sadness.

It doesn't take Mammon long to start blaming you.

(Or at least, trying to blame you. He never really can, no matter how many times he'll call you a stupid human and bring up all your human flaws)

He tries to make an effort not to be nice to you, but he really just ends up avoiding you.

Mammon doesn't like to be reminded of what could have been.

Leviathan

Levi won't admit that he had his hopes up for anything.

He'll deny whatever he can, or just blatantly ignore his own feelings, and it might just work in making him feel somewhat in control

For a while at least.

When you leave, that's when things really spiral out of control.

He's never been a confident demon and he's never been a fair looser either.

Thankfully those two personality traits clash a bit when it comes to reactions, but under the proper circumstances, he might act without thought and come off as incredibly harsh.

Satan

He's most likely been suspicious since the start.

So he isn't that surprised, but he is rather disappointed.

Everything about you is perfect. You're wonderful and beautiful and anything anyone could have ever dreamed of.

It would have been a disgrace for you to be single, honestly.

(But, he hoped that maybe, possibly, it was true. That he had a chance. Perhaps that's selfish of him.)

He tries to be happy for you, and for the person who won your heart.

And dreams that possibly, in another reality, maybe it would be him instead.

Asmodeus

Asmo's narcissistic personality traits blind him to the reality of the situation.

He's so obsessed with himself, and the belief that everyone else is just as obsessed, that he doesn't even stop to consider the fact that you might not be.

So, when he finds himself falling in love with you, he just expects the feeling to be mutual.

When it isn't, he kinda has an existential crisis.

Is he not good enough?

Who could possibly be better?

He absolutely has to meet this person!

Really, he's just in a state of denial.

Beelzebub

He takes the news very well, but is still upset.

He wishes things were different.

But he mostly just wishes for your happiness.

You've brought so much good to their lives. Helped resolve so many conflicts and heal so many old wounds. That's more then he could have ever asked from anyone, especially from someone he calls a friend.

He does dream of more though, and sometimes, him and Belphie will share a knowing look.

Belphegor

He probably takes it the worst out of everyone

It's not like he's mad at you though. He's genieunly just mad at himself.

This feels like some sort of unintentional revenge. Another blow dealt by a universe that so desperately likes to remind him that he killed you.

And for that mistake, he will never have you.

Perhaps it's for the best. He doesn't think it's a misplaced judgement, really, but a part of him was dreaming...

Well, that's really all it was, dreams. He knows better then anyone that they don't hold much weight in reality.

Diavolo

He doesn't really realize how hurt he'd be by the idea of loosing you until you call him on the phone from home, gushing about how much you missed your partner.

Dia is quick to come to a conclusion that you might never want to come back.

Then, he begins to see that all his future plans have always involved you.

He never really thought of a life without you, until now, and he almost doesn't know what to do.

That doesn't last long though. It can't, and he knows this. Diavolo has a whole realm to run. Personal feelings can't mess with this.

And they don't, but he still struggles sometimes, especially when he knows he'll end up marrying someone who isn't you rather soon.

Luke (platonic)

Oh he is so excited and happy for you!

Thank goodness you are dating a regular human, and not a demon.

He doesn't think he could handle that.

Will absolutely play "guardian angel" of your relationship.

(Simeon has to remind him that he isn't cupid, and as perusal, Luke becomes feral at the comparison)

That being said, he is rather sympathetic if/when he realizes the various broken hearts you've left behind.

He feels for you, because you never wanted to hurt anyone. He also feels for them too because they didn't really set out to be hurt.

It's just how things turn out sometimes.

So whilst happy that you're taken care of, he's incredibly sensitive to the situation around him, which is perhaps the biggest task he's ever assigned himself too.

Simeon

He's happy.

He tells himself to be happy, and therfore he is.

It would be selfish to be upset about this. Entitled to feel like he deserves you more then this person you obviously adore.

But maybe he is those things, because this hurts.

It's like his chest has been ripped open, and a piece of him gladly left with you. The remained is struggling to survive with no direction and a broken heart.

But he's an angel. He's supposed to be strong, he's built for pain.

They never covered the emotional sort in class though.

#obey me!#obey me asmodeus #obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me luke #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me simeon #obey beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me x reader

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ijustwant2write · 3 years

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Call Me By My Name-Pietro Maximoff x Powers!Reader

(GIF credit to @dailymarvelposts)

Tags: @bloodorangemoonlight @amirahiddleston

Requested by @husherstan : ‘could you write a one w pietro maximoff? idk if you know about a trend on tik tok where a gf or bf call them partners by they first name. Reader and Pietro are enemies cuz them both are always trying to be the best of t team, reader calls him by others names and when she (or gn) calls by him real name he was like "why are you calling me like that? whats wrong with you? are you feeling bad today?" (and he likes her so fucking much, a simp)’

Characters: Pietro Maximoff x Reader, Avengers team x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Character has the power of force fields, that both generate electricity and provide protection for them/others)

Warnings: Name calling, bullying, arguing, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“For the last time, watch where you’re going Speedy Gonzales!” I snapped as Pietro almost knocked me over again.

His form whizzed around the room once more before stopping in front of me.“Maybe try keeping up next time.”

I was startled by the force he left behind as he ran off again making a show of circling the entire training room multiple times, creating a small wave of air. I groaned loudly as I went back to jogging. He was such a show off, it infuriated me. We weren’t here to compete against each other, we were supposed to be a team; but when he waltzed around the place boasting about how fast he was, it was really hard not to step up to the plate.

Pietro was running faster than usual, trying to overlap me dozens of times, more than he would have done in a normal session. It got on my last nerve, making me stop, my powers already flowing through my arms. It would be hard to pinpoint him, so I charged up a huge ball of electricity, casting it out harshly. I just managed to catch him, laughing as he yelped out in surprise, being thrown high into the air before landing on the sparring mats. I saw him slowly get up, clearly I had caused some pain. My fun was soon ended as he ran towards me again, having to quickly put up a force field that would protect me. Pietro bounced off it, though I hadn’t put any charge in this one, so he only fell on his backside.

“Enough!” Wanda yelled out, though we still kept our guard up around each other.“Really (Y/N)? You can relax now.”

“I don’t trust him.” I replied.

She sighed.“Come on, Steve wants to talk about the mission.”

“Why? We debriefed three days ago.”

“Something to do with it being on the news.” she shrugged, walking away.

Pietro glanced back at me, looking me up and down before following his sister. However, he didn’t look at me with disgust or anything of the sort, it was almost as if he was checking me out. I tutted at myself, why on Earth would he ever look at me like that?

I wasn’t happy joining the meeting in my sweaty state.Everyone else was dressed and put together, but at least Pietro looked similar. The team was gathered around a table, looking to Steve who was stood at the front, his arms crossed over his chest. He had the look of disappointment on his face, which meant bad news for the rest of us...or whoever was in trouble. With no seats left, I copied Steve’s stance at the back of the room, rolling my eyes when Pietro stood beside me.

“Sorry to call you guys in on such short notice.” Steve started.“But I feel that we have to discuss something that’s starting to effect the team.”

He pulled up a screen showing the news. It had images and videos of our last mission. We were raiding an old factory on the edge of the city, finding a terrorist group hiding out there as they worked on their gadgets. News coverage showed the team fighting from a helicopter view, and we were all confused as to why Steve was showing us this.

“Fastest man alive,” Pietro repeated what the reporter said,“it has a nice ring to it.”

“I wouldn’t put that in your Tinder bio.” I quipped, causing a few chuckles.

Steve looked at me.“And this is why we’re here today.”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.“What?”

“You and Pietro are always at each other’s throats. It’s...well frankly, it’s exhausting listening to you two arguing all the time. And it could seriously put someone in danger whilst on a mission, even you two.”

“He always starts it-”

Pietro held up a finger.“Hold on, you do too-”

“You’re just proving his point guys.” Natasha spoke over us.

“As I was saying,” Steve brought the attention back to him,“the media has also caught onto this. There’s multiple images of you two clearly arguing, or even getting in each others way during the mission. At one point, you’re both trying to save the same person, but almost miss that chance because you’re so invested in being better than the other!”

Steve was really mad, and from everyone else’s faces, they thought the same thing.

“So until all of this changes, you two are suspended from any missions.”

“What?!” we both exclaimed.

“And you may not approach any other team member for assistance with training.”

“Why are we both being punished?” I demanded to know.

“Oh, do not play the victim here Mrs Incredible!” Pietro snapped.

“Mrs Incredible is super stretchy, it’s the daughter who has the same powers as me, you idiot!”

“See? You’re further showing me that I made the right decision. I felt bad at first, but now I know that this is the right direction to go in.” Steve raised his voice.“You’re both dismissed.”

“Well, what are the rest of you doing?” Pietro dared to ask.

“We are going to go over all the planning we have done for upcoming missions. Everything has to change because of you two. Now please go.”

I held it together as I left the room, not wanting to appear like a toddler stomping away in a tantrum. It was impossible to get away from Pietro, what with him being ‘the fastest man alive’, but I was going to try. I didn’t need another argument right now, I was upset, needed to be alone. Apparently, I wasn’t going to get that.

“Leave me alone.” I warned Pietro as he followed me.

“I can’t believe this! They’ve kicked us off the team because you always have to say something-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“And to think, they’re going to risk not having me on the team. I help them with everything, I’m a crucial part-”

“Pietro!” I shouted, spinning on my heel to face him.

His eyes widened at that, glancing down to my clenched up fists, little electric sparks running over them, before looking me in my teary eyes.

I sighed, relaxing my tense shoulders and hands before leaving. There was no point trying to explain. He wouldn’t understand. We would both get mad, probably fight, the team would have to break us up; I had no energy to do that. Slowly turning away, I was surprised by the silence that followed, Pietro didn’t even follow me.

I checked the time on the lock screen of my phone, seeing that an hour had passed since I fled from Pietro. It also made me realise how dark the room had become, the sun would set in a few minutes. But I didn’t bother turning on any lights, instead leaning back again on the chair. I was sat in an empty lobby, it was a small room, facing the floor to ceiling window that showed the landscape that surrounded the headquarters. Besides just sitting here, I should have distracted myself. Perhaps put on a film, relax after training, something to take my mind off of things. Instead, I decided to sit with my thoughts.

“H-hey.” I heard Pietro quietly say from the doorway.

Looking over my shoulder, I didn’t reply, facing the window again when he began walking towards me. He hesitantly turned on a lamp near us, sitting on the chair beside mine. Pietro also looked out of the window, clasping his hands together for a few seconds before fidgeting. I tried to ignore it, though after an hour of peace and nothingness, it became irritating quickly.

“Can you stop?” I blurted out.“Please?”

“Are you annoyed by everything I do?” he asked.

“Not...everything. I just...doesn’t matter, it’s not like you care anyway.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’m not falling for this Pietro.”

“Why are you saying my name?”

“What?”

“You never say my name. Actually, we never say each others names.”

“And why does that matter?”

“It just feels, it feels serious.”

“I mean, we’ve basically been kicked off the team, so yeah, it’s serious.”

“We’ve not been kicked off the team (Y/N).”

“We could be if we don’t get our act together.”

“It won’t go that far-”

“But it could! I can’t believe how calm you are about the whole thing.” I stood, distancing myself from him.“I’ve worked too hard for this. Imagine what would happen if word got out that I was disbanded from the Avengers because of a tiny argument, with a team member who is so narcissistic that he can’t put others before himself!”

I realised I had began ranting, stopping myself before I said anything else hurtful. But by the look of Pietro’s face, it was already too late.

“I...I’m sorry (Y/N).” he never broke eye contact.“And before you say anything, I mean it.”

“Pietro, I-”

“I can see how much this job means to you.”

“It’s my fault too. I always try to outdo you or challenge you.”

“No, don’t be humble.” he got out of his seat, standing in front of me.“It’s almost always my fault that we argue. And I hate myself for it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m usually very good with the ladies.” he grinned, though it disappeared when he realised it wasn’t time to joke.“But not around you apparently. It’s probably because you’re extremely strong and sure of yourself, and I go for a different type, the polar opposite to you.”

“Pietro, I...um...”

“I was really impressed by you when we first met. It made me nervous actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, all I can do is run really fast.”

“But, you’ve been on much more missions than I have. Doesn’t that say something?” I hung my head.

“Are you crazy? You’re not on those missions because they don’t need you.”

My head whipped up to see his smile drop.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I meant that those missions are for Avengers like me. The ones they can use over and over without worrying about them being too tired for the next one. What I’m trying to say is, you’re too important.”

“I never thought I would say this, but Pietro, you’re an important part of the team too. I always rose to your challenges because I felt I needed to prove something to the others. I was new, then I was accepted after all my relentless training, but when you and Wanda came along, I instantly became old news. And you didn’t even go through the rigorous regimes like I did, so I just assumed you were better than me.”

“It seems we were both wrong about each other. We were going through a lot of effort to outdo the other when we could have saved that energy for...well, anything else really.”

“Yeah. I suppose so.”

Pietro held his hand out.“Truce?”

I smiled up at him as I shook it.“Truce.”

A cheeky smirk appeared as he raised an eyebrow at me.“Let’s not tell the team about this just yet. I feel like there would be a lot of ‘I told you so’.”

“It’s like you read my mind.”

“And another thing.”

I noticed he was still holding my hand, though they were lowered now, and his grip wasn’t as firm.“Yes?”

“Can we start calling each other by our actual names?”

“I mean, I assumed we would anyway.”

“Oh, good. I just...”

“You just?”

“I just like the way it sounds when you say my name.”

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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What I Thought About the First Season of--

Salutations random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I first saw the sneak peek of--

...I...didn't...think it would be anything all that special. I love animation, and I love superheroes, so it would go without saying that I would love an animated series about superheroes. But the animation looked a little too stiff for my liking, and aside from featuring J.K. Simmons, there wasn't anything grabbing me when it comes to this show.

Then I heard some s**t goes down at the end of episode one. So, letting my curiosity get the better of me, I binged the entire series in a day to see what the fuss was about. And, um...Yeah. Holy s**t.

This is a series that will very much make you uncomfortable in all the right ways. However, it is a gigantic gorefest at times, so if you get queasy after a single drop of blood, DON'T WATCH THIS SHOW! Trust me, you will not be prepared for what this series has to offer.

At the same time, I highly recommend you watch this series before reading this review. I'm going to spoil major plot points and characters so I can appropriately discuss what I think about the season, so trust me when I say you should click away if you haven't watched it yet. It's one of those series that are better to go in as blind as possible. You can call it a cheap way to appeal to shock value, but I call it one of the best reasons why--

...Is a contender for best-animated series of the decade--That bit with the title card isn't going away anytime soon, is it?

WHAT I LIKE

The Guardians of the Globe vs. The Mauler Twins: This is the best possible way for the series to begin. The first fight scene is bright, colorful, and kinda fun. Thus setting the ultimate expectation subversion in making audiences think that will be the series staple. However, just because it has the energy of a harmless superhero fight, there is a sense of intensity as the Guardians give their all in saving others. Like that moment with Darkwing (Not the duck) as he rescues that woman without hesitation, despite knowing he might die because of it. Or Green Ghost, who just barely rescues all those civilians from that falling debris. It shows that you don't need intense scenes of violence to make a fight scene thrilling to watch.

Diversity Wins: I don't know how diverse the comics are compared to the show, but I'm impressed with how inclusive this series is. So many members of the main cast are people of color, with the main lead being half-Korean. And it's not just different races that the series shines a light on, as we also get the rare, but very much welcomed, animated male gay character. Who's thankfully isn't cliched in ten ways to Sunday...for the most part. It really does seem like writers are starting to grow up and that it's better to be as inclusive as possible instead of pretending certain people don't exist for the sake of "convenience." It might not solve oppression in general, but it certainly makes certain people feel better, even if it is briefly.

Mark Grayson: Mark is a pretty solid super-protagonist if you ask me. Sure, at first, he comes across as whiney...and even more so in later episodes, but he's really an endearing character at times. Mark nails the role of the relatable everyman that's also inspirational with his determination since he never gives up until beaten to the inch of his life. Seriously, while he might not entirely be--

...I guess that bit with the title card really isn't going away.

Anyways, while he might not entirely be invulnerable in the literal sense, he is very much so in the figurative sense. Mark, in so many ways, refuses to call quits once he finally gets the hang of being a superhero, which is what makes him so inspirational. Plus, it's funny seeing how much of a rookie he can be to the gig at times. Mark is far from a perfect lead but is still charming to a fault, and it's nice seeing him grow more heroic each episode. I hope to see him develop more in future seasons, as he has the potential to be ranked higher up as one of my favorite superheroes (it's hard to compete with Spider-Man and Batman, but he'll make me consider it).

Debbie Grayson: This is almost what I expect a mother and wife of superheroes would be.

Your son is constantly crash landing in your yard? Tell him to knock it off because he's past his curfew.

Your husband disappeared into another dimension to fight off invaders? Shrug it off and expect that he'll be late for dinner.

It's a ton of fun to watch, and I adore how supportive she is of Mark, despite how much danger he could be in as a superhero. But, what really endears me with Debbie is her complicated feelings with Omni-Man. There's not a doubt in my mind that she loved him with her whole heart, but she also isn't an idiot. She is quick to pick up how unheroic her husband can be at times, often scolding him for it when necessary. And when she finally starts investigating if he really did kill the Guardians, I love that she instantly comes up with every single plausible excuse she can, despite knowing the truth. Because she believes that she knows who Omni-Man is and refuses any possibility that he might be a supervillain. So when she finds out that there really is no other explanation and hearing him call her a pet (big ouch when that happened), you wanna know what she does? She cries. Not because the man she loved is gone forever, but because the idea of him is. And it's that level of emotional devastation that comes from those complicated emotions that make me think Debbie Grayson is the most complex and endearing character on the show. And I. Will. Stand by that.

Seeing the Guardians of the Globe on their down time: Wow, what a cute collection of scenes that are charming as much as they are heartwarming! A set of scenes that show how human these characters are with their close relationships with friends and family! I sure hope it's not followed up with a brutal emotional gut-punch of a scene that will be even more devastating after thinking back on these! Especially with that bit with Martian Man and the little girl, cause OOO-WEE, would THAT tear me up inside!

Omni Man destroying the Guardians of the Globe:...I'd follow through on my joke here, but holy s**t.

That's really the best way I can describe all of this. It is a brutal, I repeat, BRUTAL scene that will stick with you hours after watching it. Not only that, but it's one of the few instances when I was damn near speechless because I couldn't think of anything else to say other than, "Holy s**t." The only time another superhero property did that was Avengers: Infinity War, except with that, the only difference is that the characters come back. Here, except for The Immortal, the Guardians stay dead! There's no magic amulet or alternate versions from another dimension. No, they die and never come back. Thus setting up how serious the show can be. Because if these superheroes can stay dead, then so can others.

Plus, what makes it more impactful is how throughout the entire fight, there was a glimpse of hope that the Guardians can beat Omni-Man. I heard he got nerfed for the sake of drama, and I approve of that decision. Because if he was really--

...If he was really unbeatable, then the fight doesn't have weight to it. There wouldn't be a point in rooting for these characters to win when we already know they're going to lose. But, by showing there's a chance that they could win, it becomes all the more intense watching the fight and even more tragic seeing them lose. It is a masterpiece of a battle that proves once and for all: Batman is right. You need contingency plans.

Omni Man: J. Jonah Jameson has become the one thing he hates the most: A masked MENACE...Ok, I know Omni-Man doesn't wear a mask, so the joke doesn't work as well as it could. But it was served to me on a silver platter, damn it! I had to take it!

In all seriousness, though, Omni-Man might give Homelander a run for his money on best evil Superman. Because while Homelander might be terrifying in his own right with his style of evil, Omni-Man takes it a step up a notch with the mystery behind WHY he killed the Guardians of the Globe. We know right away that there's something off with him, but up until that point, we see multiple instances of Omni-Man doing the right thing rather than the wrong. Sure, he might come off as cold when interacting with people, but so does Batman and other great superheroes in comics. That doesn't mean he's evil. So when he does do something so incredibly heinous, we're left with this mystery as to why. Because there has to be a reason for it all, right? Like, maybe mind control or his family was threatened. Something and anything that means he was forced into killing the noblest of people. So when it turns out that his actions were intentional, it is already pretty devastating. But when we find out why he does these things, it paints how truly evil Omni-Man is, given how little respect he has for human life.

Plus, as terrifying as Homelander is, Omni-Man is ten times more of an engaging villain. With Homelander, what you see is what you get: A narcissist with a god complex. For Omni-Man, it's more or less the same thing, but it's something fed to him because of the conditioning from his planet. There is a tiny, molecule-sized part of him that genuinely cares about others. It doesn't change what he does, nor does it mean he deserves forgiveness (far from it), but it hints that maybe he's not evil because of his own ego. It's because of how he's trained to be. And judging by his pained expressions from Mark's words and the single tear he sheds when leaving everything behind, there's a chance that he might be willing to fight back that mentality.

Or he will stay evil, and that he'll return to do worse things in the future. I don't know. I haven't read the comics. But I feel like I don't need to read anything to tell you all that Omni-Man is up there as one of the most intriguing comic book villains of all time, and I can't wait to see what happens with him next.

This show is f**king Violent: I mean, I refer you back to that scene where Omni-Man destroys the Guardians of the Globe. But, unlike other shows that use violence to force that mature rating, I feel as though In--

...Title card. You were cute the first time, but now your novelty has quickly worn thin.

Anyways, I feel as though this show...uses gore more appropriately. More often than not, death and carnage get treated as a literal joke in adult cartoons because people are sick bastards, I guess. But with...the current series I'm talking about, it all has an impact. No one dies or gets mangled for the sake of shock value or for a laugh. Instead, every instance of this type of violence is to either make a point, set the tone, or prove just how dangerous a specific character is. It makes...the series more mature than most adult cartoons you'll find because it actually brings a worthy discussion for its violence rather than milking it to give the illusion of maturity. And I gotta respect the writers for doing that.

Cecil: This man is basically Nick Fury if he was overpowered but in a good way. There is just something about a man who knows superheroes are needed in the world but also trusts a "hero" like Omni-Man as far as he can throw him. Not only does Cecil have contingency plans for his contingency plans, but the guy also knows to send the right heroes out for the exact missions that require them. Plus, a man is an instant badass when he's stone-faced about a demon saying he'll go somewhere worse than hell and is calm when being face-to-face with an angry Omni-Man.

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The title card gets bloodier with each episode: This is just a really cool gimmick. It proves how intense this show can really be and how the stakes get higher and higher with each installment. Also, I like to think the amount of blood that splashes over the title card reflects how brutal the episode will be, especially with episode eight, 'cause holy hell.

The plot structure: The way the story works is very similar to how a comic book series handles its overarching narrative. Even though the writers begin a new arc that continues for a handful of issues, the overall main plot still develops in the background of the current adventure the hero goes through. That's basically how--

>Intense inhale<

>Calm exhale<

That's basically how THIS SHOW operates. Each episode can be seen as its own story that's given a ton of room to develop with its forty-five-minute runtime (which blew my f**king mind when I started binging it). Despite that, there's still a great sense of continuity. Everything involving Omni-Man and the mystery behind his murder of the Guardians gets fleshed out throughout the season, even when it takes the background of Mark's escapades. It really does feel like sitting down and taking the time to read an entire volume of comics, which I like to believe is the intention. After all, what's the point of making a series about superheroes if you don't make it feel like a comic book at least once?

Dark Blood: I desire a series based on this character alone. I know it's probably just Hellboy, but I want it.

The idea of a demon solving murder crimes to work off his debt in Hell is too much of a remarkable concept to strictly be a c-plot in one series. Give Dark Blood a spin-off, damn it!

The Realistic Portrayal of a Superhero world: Unlike certain superhero properties--*cough* DC *cough*--it's--

>Huff<

>Puff<

>HUFF<

>PUFF<

>HUFF<

It's. This. F**KING. SHOW! That really does an excellent job at portraying how much it would suck to live in a world of superheroes. Sure, you got the cool battles and awe-inspiring heroes with incredible powers, but do you know what else you get? Hundreds upon thousands of people dying from the very threats those heroes fight against. Not to mention all the realistic physics that come from people like Mark trying to save others. Just look at how mangled that old woman looked when he attempted to help her. It, uh...It sure did not look great. Don't get me wrong, I love superheroes and the worlds they live in. But when watching a show like...this one, it really makes me appreciate how I don't live in those worlds with them.

It’s Still Funny: This is something I appreciate the most. When most superhero shows go for the realistic approach, they go with the doom and gloom route, making everything so melodramatic about how serious the world is. But here's the thing: Superheroes are f**king stupid.

Don't tell me they're not because they are. Superheroes have cornball hero names, bright costumes, and logos on their foreheads, chests, belts, and what-have-you. Taking a superhero too seriously is the worst mistake you could make, which is why I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Say what you want about Marvel having "too many jokes," but at least they know it's for the best to laugh at themselves and embrace the weirdness. It's something similar with...you know what. Because while the series tells a serious and realistic story about superheroes, it's still a story about superheroes. So it tells some jokes and some pretty funny ones at that. Because while it's essential to include some drama in a story such as the one in...you know what, it's just as important to never forget to have some fun.

“Earth is not yours to conquer.”: Such a great line that gains an even greater meaning once we fully know who Omni-Man is. The main creditor for how effective it is goes to J.K. Simmons for making the line sound explicit yet implicit at the same time.

Allen the Alien: ...It is an absolute crime that this character only has about six minutes of screentime. Allen is such a bro, partially because of Seth Rogan's performance, that I would honestly be upset if he doesn't show up more often in later seasons. Seriously, bring him back for more.

The Mauler Twins: Thankfully, these characters get as much attention as they deserve. The banter between the Mauler Twins is always entertaining, often being the comedic highlights at times. On top of being funny, they also work as efficient villains who can come across as threatening at times.

But what I love most of all about these two is the explanation behind the cloning process. The reasoning of why neither character remembers which one is the cone is a brilliant idea that I'm surprised no one else did in the past (to my knowledge). It also provides some excellent fruit for thought in wondering if it really is better to live your life not knowing if you're a clone or not. The whole thing is great to watch, and it makes me really glad for their inclusion...too bad they had to be forced into a story that makes a character look like a reckless superhero and an inconsiderate jackass to his friend. Seriously, what was up with that?

“That Actually Hurt”: This just might be my favorite episode of the first season. Machine Head is both equally hilarious and devious, Titan might just be my favorite character due to how intriguing his allegiances and motivations are, that final fight was the perfect amount of brutal, and we get the biggest hint of the man Omni-Man really is. Having him simply watching Mark instead of flying in to help him actually shocked me the first time seeing it. It's not until we learn what a Viltrumite really is that it becomes clear as to why. He doesn't care about saving his son but instead seeing Mark reach the same potential Omni-Man did during that smash fest the planet went through to reach perfection. And something tells me he felt more disappointment than sadness after seeing his son get nearly killed by Tony the Tiger (I know he has an actual name...but this is funnier to me). It's such a solid moment with great implications that just so happens to exist in an even greater episode.

Eve deciding to just help people for the heck of it: I actually love this idea more for the potential it has rather than what actually happens so far. Because the main reason why heroes don't fly around and solve every little minute problem people have is that they need to learn how to act without help. If you suddenly make food appear out of thin air or stopping forest fires, you're doing good, but there's also potential harm that comes from it. I think back to that episode of The Powerpuff Girls, where the townspeople are so idiotic and complacent with having their heroes solve every problem that they really can't think or act for themselves. A similar thing can happen with Eve if she's not careful. Even worse, if she keeps trying to end famine for farmers, because she might get into a Supergirl situation with people building a cult around her. And, you know, that's not going to be fun.

But again, that's just the potential that this presents. We--Or the people who haven't read the comics--don't know if Eve will actually face this issue. Regardless, we still get some solid moments that proves just how much Eve is a true hero in this series as she has no other motive to help people other than she just wants to. And I actually think that's pretty cool.

The Immortal’s rematch: I gotta hand it to the guy. Not a second after being brought back to life, and The Immortal's already flying off to get revenge on the bastard who killed his closest friends in the world. Or, globe, I guess.

I respect that, to be honest.

(As a bonus, The Immortal causing Omni-Man's eyes to become bloodshot adds to how evil he'll be in the last episode)

Mark trying to snap his dad out of mind-control: Oh, I felt that.

I'm pretty sure we all felt that.

Ow...Big ow.

The Train Scene: ...This is the most horrific thing I have seen in entertainment. Seriously, while Omni-Man annihilating the Guardians left me speechless, this is another level. Because him using Mark's body to kill a train full of people ramming into them, leaving Mark all the more helpless to stop it, makes a scene that is so...so hard for me to describe how effectively f**ked up it is. It's one of those moments where just by seeing it, you know why it's awful in all the right ways. And I will never forget the look of shock and horror on my face when it reflected onto my laptop's screen after the scene briefly cut to black soon after the carnage. Because if that doesn't explain how unmerciful this moment is, I don't know what will.

Saving Mark after the fight: I really love this because as it flashes between still images of people carrying Mark away after his brutal fight with Omni-Man, it really feels like you're reading a comic from panel to panel. It’s pretty neat. I won’t lie.

WHAT I DISLIKE

The Animation isn’t that great: Now, in terms of action, the animation is fantastic. You feel the impact of each attack, there are some creative uses of powers, and the gore is better implemented because it's all animated. As for everything else...yeah, it kinda sucks. Movements are a little stiff at times, the CGI backgrounds could use a bit more polish, and don't get me started on the CGI crowds of people. I understand the shortcuts that need to be taken to make everything else more effective, but man, this series needed a little more time in the oven before being shown to everyone. It's never too bad, but it can be pretty distracting at times.

Amber: F**k Amber. Just f**k her. Everything people tell you that is wrong with her is one-hundred percent on point. She is easily one of the worst love interests, and to me, it has everything to do with the fact that she knows Mark is--

...That she knows Mark is--

...

...ThatsheknowsMarkisInvinci--

--BECAUSE IT INVALIDATES ANY POINT SHE HAS, GOSH DANGIT! I don't give a single S**T if she's upset that he's late all the time! If Amber was always unaware of it, then I would understand. But having her know means that she thinks her issues are more important than Mark, oh, I don't know, SAVING THE PLANET! I mean, the girl helps feed the homeless! You would think she would understand.

But fine. Maybe Amber's just upset that Mark's lying to her. Sure. That's understandable...BUT WHAT THE F**K IS UP WITH HER BLOWING UP IN HIS FACE FOR NOT HELPING ANYBODY AT THE COLLEGE WHEN SHE KNOWS HE'S HELPING EVERYBODY!? Even if it's her giving Mark one last chance to tell her the truth (which is a mile of a stretch, and you know it), did she really expect him to reveal his secret with tons of people watching? That is a crazy expectation that no one should live up to!

Amber is quite possibly the worst thing about this show. She was fine at first, and her chemistry with Mark was on point, but MAN, did she get worse later on.

And if I see one mother f**ker calling me a racist because I don't like this character who just so happens to be black...I'm going to be upset, not gonna lie. Because that is a cheap shot to dismiss any criticism, especially since her race has NOTHING to do with why people hate her...Or, at least, most people.

Edit (5/27/2021): Disregard the above. The long and short is that I don’t like Amber. She just doesn’t sit right with me for the reasons that her anger towards Mark just never felt entertaining to me in comparision to everything else. But saying her thoughts and arguements are invalid is not cool, and I’m sorry to both any readers who are black or especially female who would be upset by this.

Rex-splode: I understand the point behind Rex. He's a character who we're supposed to hate, so it becomes so much more satisfying seeing others s**t on him. But those characters are hard to get right if you’re not careful. Make them too irritating, then any suffering they go through will seem too little. Make them not annoying enough, and their punishments can be too harsh. Rex fits into the "too irritating" category. It's satisfying to see Monster Girl wreck his s**t after he started commenting how ineffective she might be, but with what he pulled with Dupli-Kate, I feel as though he might deserve worse. Although I will admit Rex gets slightly better in later episodes, showing at least a smidgen of character development. But I don't think it's enough to make his a**holeness worth it. Still, I hope he at least becomes above decent in the next few seasons, which is way more than what I can say for Amber.

(Seriously, writers, if she just disappears without an ounce of an explanation in the season premiere, I won't question it. You have my word.)

Edit: I no longer agree with what I crossed out, but I won’t delete it either. I want people to know the mistake I made so I can prove that I changed in the future.

Robot cloning himself to be with Monster Girl: ...Nope!

Nope!

Changed my mind.

I am NOT touching that.

I will touch a lot of things, but I will not touch--That came out wrong.

Please forget you read anything.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Let’s move on

Transitioning to the title card: Here it is! The nitpickiest of all nitpicks! But, seeing how it happens in every episode, meaning that the writers have no choice but to commit to it, means it's one of those things that viewers are forced to get used to. And boy, is the transition to the title card hard to get used to! Oh, you thought it was annoying how it kept happening in this review? Well...fair enough. But trust me when I say it's much more aggravating in the show.

The funny thing is, I had no problem the first time it happened. It was a cute way to introduce the character as well as the title of the series. But having that be the basis for transitioning to the title card every time was a gimmick that got old real quick. Especially since every time that a character says the word--

--it always feels forced. What's even more annoying is that sometimes it interrupts characters as they're saying invin--

LIKE! F**KING! THAT! Because interrupting someone before they say something is one thing, but doing so as they're saying it shows a sense of bad timing. Not even that, because this is something that I feel like could have been the easiest to change in the series by having someone go, "Hey, maybe we should edit out this single second."

It's laziness that doesn't happen often, but it still grinds my gears a bit. Plus, is there really no other smoother transition the writers could come up with? Did they really believe this is the best way to do it?

Think, writers! THINK!

It's fine to have a gimmick, but this is one that really shouldn't have any follow-through on.

-------------

That's about all the issues I have with the show. It's far from perfect, but still, an A- is pretty impressive work. The stuff that this series does right not only outnumbers the mistakes but also heavily outweighs them. Besides, no show in the history of creativity has ever been perfect in its first season. There are always dents that need to get buffed out and improve upon for the subsequent seasons to come. Only then can a series truly be Invincible from all criticism.

...

...Oh, sure.

SURE!

NOW it lets me say it!

GOSH, DANGIT, I HATE THAT TITLE CARD!

#invincible #mark grayson #omni-man #debbie grayson #amber bennett #what I thought about

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blindedbythedarkness · 3 years

Text

Josh,

Sometimes it's really fucking difficult to not believe that the universe is personally biased against me. And I know that's kind of rich coming from the one of us that didn't get driven to suicide. But I just, I know you of all people would understand. I wish I had you to really talk to right now.

I'm gonna ramble because I just need someone to listen. But where to fucking start? Life right now is just spinning plates. On one day this week I found out a critical hospital referral I was relying on had never been made; I was rejected by yet another landlord for a house next year that I'd really been betting on; my supervisor met with and bullied me for a solid two hours and my one social event of the week got cancelled. So, that's about when it all started to get too much.

The doctor I've been seeing has been incompetent from the start and made so much work for me in the 6 months I've been in her care. Despite diagnosing my Potentially Life Threatening connective tissue disease, she never even named it in our appointments, leaving me to discover the true horrors of my body through playing detective with my blood results. Long story short, to be confident that I can go on a treatment for it without bleeding out, I need to see a geneticist. But despite agreeing that I should see one, she's refusing to refer me to one directly. Instead, she's referring me to a pain rehab clinic at a separate hospital and saying they can internally refer me to genetics. The wait on the pain rehab clinic? At least two years. Plus, of course none of this information was forthcoming and required weeks of emailing back and forth. So now I'm angry, anxious and stressed about my health. I want to make a formal complaint but I don't know when I'll find the time.

That wasn't even the worst thing, though. The worst thing was uni reminding me just one last time that it truly doesn't give a shit about its students and why I hate it to its very core. The final piece of work I have left to hand in is a research project that I've been working on all year. However, my supervisor is an utter cunt, and I don't say that lightly. He's incredibly narcissistic and rude for a start. For a presentation I had to do, he forced me to use his own slides without ever looking at mine. He once ended an online meeting because I misspoke when explaining a figure, telling me to call him back when I knew what I was on about because he "never forgets what he sees and doesn't want his brain soiled with incorrect information." Given he never remembers what we've spoken about from one meeting to the next, I call bullshit. Oh and this week? He asked me to explain a figure to him and when he said he didn't understand I asked him if he was looking at my screen share. He said no. I just despair!

To make matters worse, he's never fucking happy with me. He's made me start my work from scratch 3 times now and had a different problem each time. We're rapidly approaching the deadline now, so to get all the work done for the 3rd time I've been working 9am-5pm 6 days a week. Not that he cares. The results don't fit his hypothesis, so I must simply be incompetent. He even once had the audacity to suggest that I "didn't want to do the work" while looking through a 70 page document of my results, because I couldn't explain the findings of a figure I'd made a month ago off the top of my head.

In this weeks meeting, he again gave me an extortionate list of new tasks to do, while berating me at every turn. With a month left submit my thesis and my write up not started, I tried to explain to him that I wouldn't have time to complete the list. He just shrugged and said, "Well I think you should do it." And yes, this man is aware that I have been struggling physically and mentally recently.

I didn't know what else to do to make him listen, so I contacted the course supervisor (who I'd already briefly made aware of my issues with him). She told me to "quit" and "just get on with writing my thesis"... until four hours later after she had spoken to my supervisor and completely changed her mind. She video called me to tell me to do the work and I just broke down. I don't make a habit of ugly sobbing in front of people I've only ever met twice over Microsoft Teams, but this was a particularly bad day.

"Trying to do this work is going to destroy my physical and mental health."

"I can't do this anymore."

"He never listens to me."

"I've been working 6 days a week and it's killing me."

She didn't care. She told me that since my supervisor is an experienced professional, he must know how much he's asking of me and since he insists it's quick and easy stuff, it must be. This man has never done this analysis himself. He doesn't even know how; half the stuff one of his lab workers taught me and the rest I taught myself.

"Chill out" and "calm down" she told me, "do the work and if you have any problems ask John (the lab worker)"

By the time I pressed the leave button, I could barely breathe, let alone talk. I was just choking and sobbing and had snot pouring down my face. I was just so tired. So stressed. So... ignored. I didn't know where I would find the hours in the day, but I started by cancelling the trip to see my parents this weekend. To them I am not a student, and a student with health problems at that. I am simply a machine to use for free research.

I just wanted the stress to give me a break. I just wanted a break. I was genuinely afraid that my heart was going to stop from the stress alone. I didn't know where else to turn. The counseling service put me on a waiting list. My tutor told me to "just keep trying my best". My mentor told me to talk to my course supervisor. My course supervisor told me to work. A was busy revising for an exam the next day and I didn't want to bother him. So, I turned to my unhealthy coping mechanisms instead.

I didn't mean to do it as badly as I did. I just wanted to scratch my skin enough to feel it burn and give me something else to feel instead of the huge mass in my chest. But the scissors were sharper than I thought and when I looked down there were four long cuts that had gone through the skin and fat. I knew immediately I'd fucked up. There was no way those edges were coming together on their own. Honestly, I was just mad I'd given myself something else to do. So, I covered them with gauze and tape and kept on working. Because I needed to work. I needed to get it done. I would deal with going to the hospital later but I couldn't lose these working hours.

Once the blood was dripping from the gauze I finally, begrudgingly, went to the hospital. Honestly? They were surprisingly nice. They were understanding and they listened. I was so worried that they'd think I was some cringy emo kid looking for attention. I honestly felt like a total knob going there, but I didn't have a choice. I never felt judged or like they thought I was wasting their time or that it was all my fault. Of course, I know that it was my fault and I felt like a fool. But I also don't blame myself for becoming so desperate. At one point a doctor came in with a medical student who was visibly shy and embarrassed when examining me. I told her I had a place at medical school, so not to worry as I'd be in her place soon. And again, I was shocked because they didn't once tell me not to go. I thought they were going to say "if you can't cope right now, starting medical school isn't for you!" But they never said anything like that. Instead they were shocked I'd gotten in to such a good uni and seemed incredibly genuine when they wished me well.

Oh, and the wounds? Thankfully I didn't need stitches so I got them pulled together again with steri-strips. And in case you didn't believe me that I didn't intend them to be so bad, I nearly passed out three times after looking at them. So, I truly am a fucking idiot, Josh. Lesson learnt, I suppose. Though I'm still afraid what will happen next time I run out of options.

It's finally the end of the week now, but the universe still hasn't given me a break. My mum called earlier and told me my rabbit will be crossing the rainbow bridge tomorrow as he seems to have had a stroke. I mean, it's a small mercy that he's an old bunny and he's been unwell for a long time, so it's not a shock. But it's still so sad and I'll miss him so much. What really tops it all off is that I was going to see him this weekend until I had to cancel my trip home due to the workload.

Man, I just. Why does shit stuff seem to come so easily to me? It's difficult not to feel personally victimized when shit news after shit news lines up so well. I wish good things came as thick and fast. I hope to fuck my luck changes soon because honestly I'm terrified that it's taking years off my life.

Thanks for listening, Josh,

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heartbreaknow · 4 years

Text

So I wrote this ridiculous meta. It’s long, guys, it’s long. I wrote most of it like a year ago, but a discussion on discord made me decide to add a couple of paragraphs and actually post it.

I know meta isn’t really en vogue anymore (lol, was it ever?), but what the hell. If you enjoy deep-dives into Tony Stark’s hot mess of a psyche, it’s possible you’ll enjoy—

Tony Stark as Sisyphus (& The Tranquil Summit of ‘I’m A Good Person’)

Okay, so here’s what I think:

I think Tony Stark has a high (and largely accurate) estimation of his own value, i.e. what he’s accomplished and what he can do. He’s a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, superhero, and he knows it. But I don’t think Tony really sees himself as a good person or believes that he deserves to be liked and cared about for who he is. I am 100% convinced that inside Tony Stark’s mind is a subconscious narrative that goes:

1. If people don’t value me they’re idiots who aren’t worth wasting time on.

2. If people don’t care about me, they’re smart; caring about me is a bad move that will erode quality of life over time.

Basically, I think there’s this weirdly paradoxical thing that happens, where, whenever Tony does something incredibly heroic and brave and selfless, he attributes the thing he’s done to his value, but not to his goodness. A psychologically healthy person would recognize they’d done a good thing, and each time it would incrementally reinforce their sense of themself as a good person. But Tony, who is not such a psychologically healthy person, fails to identify and attribute his actions correctly. In his mind, the thing he did was valuable, perhaps necessary, probably important. But his understanding of his own actions largely bypasses goodness.

Which kind of ends up creating a bit of a negative feedback loop whereby he has to be heroic just to break even. Because subconsciously, he’s not a good person doing good things. He’s a dubious person doing necessary, valuable things. If he stops doing the necessary valuable things…what’s left?

On a conscious, surface level, he is aware the things he does are good, but I think he’s so unpracticed at linking the idea of goodness with his own self-identity that he tends to almost discount goodness where his own actions are concerned. Like, if you asked him if he thought he’d done a good thing by saving a bunch of people from plummeting to their deaths, he’d be like, “Yeah, of course, saving lives is kind of the superhero MO.” But it’s just words. His psyche doesn’t know how to make use of that. In fact, even here in this little hypothetical projection I just did, he’s deflecting away from goodness in favor of efficacy and necessity.

So all of the good things he does just reinforce the schism in his psyche whereby he has a well-supported sense of his own value, but any sense he has that he is good is as thin and unsupported as a house of cards. It’s kind of like a sibling to impostor syndrome, where a very competent person doesn’t attribute their competent actions to the fact that they are competent, but instead attributes their competent actions to any number of other factors, such as luck, other people’s help, or that it was actually easy and if it hadn’t been easy they would have failed. Except in Tony’s case it’s not his competence his psyche doesn’t know how to reinforce, it’s his sense of his own goodness as a person.

Tony’s subconscious says: you don’t do good things because you’re good. You do them because you have to. Because what kind of a person would you be if you didn’t? Because you’re trying to be better. Because you need to atone. You do good things to mitigate your badness. You do selfless things to mitigate your selfishness.

If someone accused him of being a bad person, he could, and might, defend himself by listing any number of extremely good things he had done. But because he hasn’t internalized them properly, the defense would feel hollow and flimsy to him—despite it actually being a sound defense. Which is why, instead of defending his goodness, he’s a lot more likely to say, “Yeah yeah, selfish asshole. Got it. But I’m a selfish asshole who can pull us out of the fire.” Because that he has internalized: he is valuable. He can do things no one else can.

(Side note: I think this is part of why some people perceive Tony as being a narcissist with a huge ego. They assume he thinks highly of himself, and is extolling his own virtues when he calls himself a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. “Shallow bragging,” they think. But he’s not extolling his virtues. He’s giving his resume: This is my value.)

And I think he just kind of goes through life that way, relying on his sense of his own value to be enough, to get him through, without some kind of psychological collapse. And it mostly works. He is very valuable; it’s enough to get by on. I mean, he’s saved the planet how many times? And the technological advances he’s provided society over the last decade are hard to overstate. And he funds the Avengers almost single-handed. So yeah, damn right he’s valuable.

But no matter how strong his sense of his own value is, it’s ultimately a shell. I’m not saying it’s worthless, because it’s very much not. Feeling valuable is a really great thing for anyone to have as part of their self-identity. But the bottom line is that it’s not who he is; it’s what he can offer. It’s one abstraction removed from the core of self-identity. And what’s encased in that shell of value is a person who doesn’t really like himself or trust himself, because he hasn’t properly internalized all the reasons he should.

Also, do I need to mention that his Iron Man suit (a literal shell he literally built and literally uses to give aid and protection) is the perfect extension of the schism between who he is vs. what he can do for the world? (It’s also a perfect extension of the way he conflates who he is with what he can do for the world.)

What’s interesting is that in Iron Man 3, he proves to himself that he’s still Iron Man, with or without the suit. Which is a positive, empowering affirmation for Tony, and the movie kind of plays it as the ultimate breakthrough in self-actualization—but it doesn’t actually address the underlying schism in his sense of self. It doesn’t bridge the disconnect between “I am a valuable person to the world” and “I am a good person within myself.” All it does is prove to Tony that he is able to be valuable even when he’s alone and suit-less. He feels less afraid by the end of the movie because he’s proven that the suit is not the source of his empowerment. However, his self-identity is still kind of a mess. He just feels more certain of his ability to self-generate the side of that mess which he sees as valuable.

Another thing I want to note is that I don’t actually think Tony’s difficulties with internalizing a sense of personal goodness spring from the fact that he used to design and sell weapons. I definitely think his years of designing and selling weapons negatively affect how he feels about himself, but I think his issues with self-identity began a lot earlier in life, with a father who “never told Tony he loved him; never even told Tony he liked him.” Young Tony was probably often reprimanded for his badness but rarely praised for his goodness. And when he was given any sort of approval as a child, it was probably most often for making himself useful in some way (I’m picturing Howard saying, “Don’t just stand there like a simpleton; help your mother.”) Though as he got older he probably also discovered intelligence, drive, and ingenuity would get him places. Thus creating a mentality where “bad” was the default; “good” was out of reach; useful, intelligent, and driven were the best you could do; and accomplishment was currency.

So if anything, I think the causation goes in the opposite direction: Tony’s years of designing and selling weapons did not cause his estrangement from a sense of his own goodness. Rather, his pre-existing estrangement from a sense of possible goodness was part of what made him willing to design and sell weapons. It’s certainly much easier to disregard the ethics of your pursuits when you’ve never really believed yourself to be a good person anyway. When you are in fact so estranged from the notion of what it means to be good that you’re honestly not sure how you would achieve it or even what it would feel like.

It also is a big part of why he’s more prone to “ends justify the means” thinking than some of the other Avengers. The concept of goodness is more abstracted for him. When Cap is faced with a problem, for example, the first thing he mentally reaches for it his ethical compass; he trusts it will guide him. Whereas Tony’s ethical compass isn’t a tool he’s particularly comfortable using; it’s unreliable. When something is wrong, when there’s a threat, Tony reaches for his drive and intelligence to make the wrong thing right, to neutralize the threat. On a gut level, Tony believes that making the wrong thing right, neutralizing the threat, equals good—and drive says the means which get you to the good result are good means. Compared to Cap, for whom the end result is secondary. Good people use good means to try to stop bad things from happening. The good is in the trying, not the result. (Tony: We’ll lose. Steve: Then we’ll do that together too.)

Obviously Tony does not consciously believe good results always equal good means. But it’s harder for him to determine when his means are bad, because he has such a messy relationship with his ethical compass. If he didn’t mistrust it, he’d find it was a perfectly functional and admirable ethical compass. But he can’t trust it, because he doesn’t truly believe he’s a good person in the first place.

What’s interesting, though, is that he keeps trying. Ironically, when it comes to being a good person, he doggedly practices Steve’s approach. He keeps trying to do enough good to outweigh his perceived failings, regardless of the fact that it’s a Sisyphean task because his psyche never internalizes it properly. He keeps trying anyway, with no real belief that there’s some tranquil summit of “I’m a good person” for him to reach. He keeps trying, because that one thing, at least, he’s sure is right. Which is really what makes him heroic.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#tony stark #tony stark meta #tony stark's psychological issues #steve rogers #remember to add a big old IMO to this entire thing #nobody reads meta #and i understand why #it's not my favorite thing to read either #but i always end up writing it anyway #because i'm a masochist i guess?

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aro-throughyourchest · 4 years

Text

LIES

Chapter 5

WORD COUNT: 1,168

WARNINGS: None

INSINCERE AU

Varian’s too tired to deal with Hugo

First Chapter - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Hugo pushed open the door to see Varian glaring at him. Varian had changed into a new set of clothes, but Hugo, unfortunately, did not have a spare set, so he got stuck with drying manually, leaving his clothes rather wrinkly.

He laid down on the room’s second bed and huffed. He looked at Varian and scowled. Varian looked back at him and groaned.

“Ugh, how long do you think this rain’s gonna last? The faster I can get away from you, the better.”

Hugo scoffed.

“I could say the same... I don’t wanna room with the guy who SLAMMED MY HEAD IN WITH A BAG!”

Varian sighed exasperatedly before defending himself for the second time. “The middle of the night in the woods is VERY tense. Someone shouldn’t be talking to himself in the middle OF the woods where strangers can come up and hit them with bags.”

Hugo narrowed his eyes at Varian, and Varian stuck his tongue out childishly. He just walked 2 and a half miles at 1 in the morning with a huge storm outside and this moron. Let’s just say he’s a little cranky.

“Still, a sorry would be nice for my troubles!”

Varian sighed and shrugged. “Alright... I’m sorry.”

He could’ve been a little more polite about it but, again, cranky. Besides, he already hated Hugo enough, forcing himself to be polite would make his contempt worse.

Hugo folded his arms and rolled his eyes dismissively, leaving Varian a little more annoyed.

“Not the best apology, but I’ll take it.”

Varian grumbled, and Hugo waved his hand in the air. “You should be lucky to get my apology! I have half a mind to-“

Varian tensed while Hugo drawled on. He knew those sets of words a little too well, and he was sick of hearing them. (But it was always his fault if he heard them anyway. So why did it matter?)

Hugo noticed Varian’s strained look and paused. He struck a nerve; normally, he would be delighted to know he hurt someone back after they did him in, (such as with a bag or ‘guilting’ him into paying, cough) but this guy... Instead of continuing to scold Varian, he turned his gaze to the window. The rain pattered down hard. Varian’s own gaze followed, along with the pets.

“I’ve haven’t seen rain this bad since I was 5. It’s nice.”

“Where I’m from, it doesn’t rain PERIOD. It’s incredibly dry.” He fake-coughed into his hand and joked, “And so are the people,” before letting out another fake cough.

Varian laughed, and Hugo grinned.

“Co- The people where I’m from, they’re, um, a lively bunch to say the least. Always partying, talking about this, who did that, why, et cetera. Now, the small area where I lived...” He trailed off.

Why was he talking about Corona? At all? He was done with it; he left for a reason! He cut off his last sentence and said, “What kind of dry do you even mean? Like, are they boring or..?”

Hugo chuckled, not turning away from the window. “Oh, don’t get me STARTED. They’re no fun until you do something that makes them mad, then they throw a tantrum.” He caught himself and snapped his fingers. “Hey, that rhymed!”

Varian laughed as Hugo seemed proud of himself. Hugo continued, “The city is so utterly drained and colorless, you’d swear you walked into a black and white painting where someone forgot to fill in the background.”

Varian let out a small laugh and listened to Hugo for the next few minutes. (About 15?) He was probably just exaggerating and making himself look like the victim, but Varian didn’t care all that much. If Hugo kept talking about himself, maybe he could finally get some sleep. (Oof.)

That was something he realized in prison; don’t interrupt the narcissistic idiots talking about great them are unless you want to get slapped. Getting slapped by a guy in a man bun who can’t stop talking about himself isn’t the most dignifying. He didn’t think Hugo would slap him but still. Nor was Hugo a ‘narcissistic idiot.’

A few more minutes passed, and Hugo noticed it was ominously quiet. Varian fell asleep along with the other pets. Hugo huffed, assuming they had fallen asleep because of his ‘boring stories,’ (they had); he grabbed a blanket off the nearby dress and laid it on Varian. Hugo stretched and looked outside. The rain left.

He glanced at Varian and the pets and yawned. OK, maybe he could stay and sleep... Just a...

He collapsed onto the nearby bed and began to snore.

<•>

Varian woke up in the late morning to see Hugo holding a picture frame with Varian’s open bag next to him. “EY!” He shouted.

He jumped up and tripped on the covers he’d accidentally rolled himself, landing with a thud. Hugo let out a laugh, and Varian groaned, slipping out of the blanket, annoyed. He snatched the photo back, and Hugo joked, “Aw, you were adorable. What happened?”

Varian rolled his eyes and looked at the photo in his hands, a slight pang of guilt in his heart. He missed his dad, and he knew he would miss him a lot, but his father would probably be better off without him. He snapped out of his sadness to glare at Hugo.

He pointed the frame’s edge towards Hugo.

“Don’t go through my stuff!”

Hugo let out a fake offended gasp and laid a hand over his heart in shock.

“I would never!”

Varian narrowed his eyes, and Hugo flipped his hair dramatically. “I simply opened the bag and rifled through it!”

Varian trembled. “THAT IS THE DEFINITION OF-“

He let out a sigh, trying to compose himself and clapped his hands.

“OK! What’s the time?”

Varian looked out the door at the clock outside their room. “11:00. Thank Demanitus. I should get going.”

Hugo shrugged and picked up Cheese off the counter, slipping the little mouse into his pocket. Ruddiger hopped onto Varian’s shoulders.

They left and stopped at the inn’s dining room. It wasn’t the classiest thing, but they assumed that’s where the 40 coins went.

They quickly grabbed a bit of food, Varian trying to hide his face as he ordered. Hugo found this a bit odd but thought nothing more of it. They began to head out the door, and Varian had almost successfully gotten out without being noticed.

But the inn clerk glared at them. Hugo knew she was mean from last night but didn’t know why her stare was so intense.

They were a foot out the door when she said, “See you, Varian.”

Hugo glanced between the two, wondering how in the world she knew his name. The younger boy looked petrified, leaving Hugo a bit confused and honestly worried.

They shut the door behind them, and Varian let out a sigh, not looking him in the eye. (Hey, another rhyme!)

“I guess this where we part ways?”

HA!

#varian #hugo the human #ruddiger #demanitus #andrew tangled #tangled #tangled the series #varian and the seven kingdoms #fic #angst #Smiles Of Lies AU #jk this isn’t the end don’t worry

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theoptimisticdaydreamer · 4 years

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It blows my mind how the writers thought that after everything Jong Bum did, he deserved absolute redemption?!!! They made the plot entirely self gratifying for Jong Bum , as if he is some sort of hero, and that is infuriating.

This man obsessed over Sa Bin. Was not polite enough to respect the rules of student teacher interactions and forced his presence upon her. He stalked (WHICH IS A FELONY) her, going so far to live above her uncles and install a tracking device on her phone. He invaded her privacy and her personal thoughts. He consistently touched her as if he had the right to. He premeditated the murder of the person she said she loved. HE KISSED HER WHILE SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS WHICH IS SEXUAL ASSAULT. He consistently put her and the people she cared about in serious danger because he wanted to be the one to play the hero. He stood by as his brother was drowning. He stood by and did nothing as a serial killer attacked and almost killed a man. His past life killed people. His past life killed her past life’s fiancé. And that’s just scratching the surface.

He is unsettling, he is creepy, he is arrogant and narcissistic and 300% a psychopath. His presence makes me physically uncomfortable and nauseous.

His relationship with Sa Bin is probably one of the most TOXIC I have seen in my life.

HE DOES NOT DESERVE AN OUNCE OF PITY.

HE DOES NOT DESERVE REDEMPTION.

HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE MADE INTO SOME HERO AND TO GET THE GIRL.

HE DESERVES KARMA. HE DESERVES TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS.

Writers you have destroyed this story and I don’t give a fuck about Jong Bum and Ji Chul so the fact that you have turned the story so it favors him has earned you the hatred of probably the entire internet.

Congratulations on pushing forward the most nonsensical and damaging messages through your show. Congratulations on romanticizing stalking and obsession even though these are both serious topics that affect millions over the world and are in fact CRIMES that people go to JAIL for and doing it the way you have is incredibly insensitive to those who have suffered. Congratulations on promoting sexual assault as romantic. Congratulations on suggesting that the crimes and actions that narcissistic psychopaths committed can be forgiven, tolerated, and justified simply because their upbringing was terrible and because they are so “pitable” everything is okay. Congratulations on pushing forward the idea that women should heal the broken man. Congratulations on ignoring the serious need for professional help in aiding those with mental illnesses. Congratulations on suggesting that women should consider themselves Mother Teresa and task themselves with saving a person that they have no qualifications in saving. Congratulations on promoting the one of the most toxic relationship I have seen in my life and advertising it as the definition of love. Congratulations on making your female character a wishy washy idiot who ignores red flags when dealing with toxic people, romanticizes toxic people, has double standards to her forgiveness, doesn’t stand sincere and loyal with her feelings. treats the people around her terribly and is a ginormous hypocrite. Congratulations on attempting to vilify the relatively sane other male lead simply because the actor playing the psychopath stalker murderer is so popular that he is the hero even when that should not be the case whatsoever. Congratulations on wasting talent and natural chemistry in favor of this garbage fire of a script.

What do I need to do writer to make sure you never write again? Because everything you touch turns to poison.

#born again #kbs drama #lee soo hyuk #jin se yeon #there are so many things about this drama that i hate #how dare you romanticize stalking #how dare you support this toxic relationship #how dare you ruin my SaFo couple #how dare you destroy my Formalin couple #how dare you make Lee Soo Hyuk a tortured second lead without the girl again #how dare you suggest that Gong Ji Chul and Jong Bum deserve redemption?!!#they deserve karma!#they deserve to feel the consequences of their actions #i hate this character #i hate sa bin too #this writer needs to be blacklisted #the titanic on steroids of writing disasters

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lokiarsene · 5 years

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2/2 Discussion With Maruki - ENG. translation.

MAJOR PERSONA 5 ROYAL SPOILERS. Please do not read if you don’t want to know about Maruki, Ren, and Goro’s conversation regarding the dream reality in the third semester.

Note: I alternate between using reality and paradise for three reasons. 1: It’s pretty clear to me that Maruki thinks he’s made a paradise for people to never suffer; 2: constantly saying reality was getting annoying, and 3: the final area where you fight Maruki is even called Eden.

Maruki: Sorry for the sudden intrusion. … How is Yoshizawa-san doing? I’m worried that she will find this reality difficult to accept.

Ren: Answer #1: She’s fine. Answer #2: Sumire’s strong.

Maruki: Is that so…? That’s good.

Maruki: I must ask one last time, to be absolutely clear: do we really have to fight?

Ren: Answer #1: … Answer #2: I can’t accept this reality.

Maruki: From your point of view, this world that I made may seem distorted.. But it’s a world where everyone can be happy… As long as they’re here… No one will have to suffer having something taken from them ever again!

Ren: Answer #1: Have you suffered too, Maruki? Answer #2: Was something “taken” from you, too?

Maruki: …! So, you saw Rumi. No, I haven’t suffered. It was my fiancee… Rumi. However, she was actually taken away by happiness, and is here in this “distorted paradise” that you and your friends cannot appreciate.

Mona: But… that means your fiancee forgot all about you. Are you really okay with that?

Maruki: She lives happily enough without me. And besides, this isn’t just about Rumi… I also want you and your friends to be at peace, too. (lit., want you guys to smile). And in order to create your happiness, I had to take matters into my own hands and do it myself (lit., In order to self-grow that happiness, I have to move forward). … And she can’t be involved with that.

Mona: Maruki…

Maruki: I won’t change my mind (lit., my opinion will not change). A number of different chances fell into place to give me this power. But what’s done is done; it was inevitable, and I can’t do anything about it. But I will bring happiness to everyone in this paradise I’ve made.

Maruki: … And yet, Amamiya-kun… how can you be so certain of your decision? (lit., how can you say you are not hesitating? The verb here can also mean “to give in to temptation,” which has very appropriate Garden of Eden thematic resonance.)

Ren: Answer #1: What do you mean? Answer #2: What are you trying to say?

Maruki: Or should I say that to you.. and one other person? Are you there, Akechi-kun?

(Goro walks into Leblanc.)

Mona: You–!

Goro: … So you noticed me.

Maruki: Yes.

Maruki: What I want to say now isn’t just for you, Amamiya-kun. Akechi-kun also has something to do with it.

Ren: Answer #1: How is Akechi involved? Answer #2: Me and Akechi?

Goro: …

Mona: What do the two of them have to do with it?

Maruki: The relationship you two have is truly incredible. A detective and a phantom thief… Despite being rivals, it is a relationship you both hold dear. (lit., Even if it is hostile, it is a different relationship that you value. Alternatively: you don’t hate each other.)

Maruki: That’s why I was so sorry for you both when I learned about Shido’s Palace.

(Flashback to cognitive!Akechi and Goro facing off behind the shutters in the Palace.)

Maruki: Amamiya-kun… You regretted what happened, didn’t you? You couldn’t save Akechi, the boy with whom you had such a deep connection... And that is why I created this paradise where you two could start over and be together again. (lit., That’s why I made a reality that you could start over in with him.)

(Flashback to Goro asking Ren to promise to take down Shido, and Ren responding.)

Mona: If that’s true, then the Akechi from our original reality is...

Maruki: … Do you understand now? I didn’t want to tell you the truth, as I thought it might seem like I was holding Akechi hostage. And no matter what you think of me, I want you both to have this paradise.

Goro: … So, what? You told us the truth, and now you expect us to surrender our lives? (Note: Goro’s speech has changed from his softer, more polite way of speaking. He’s very harsh and blunt.)

Ren: Answer #1: Did you know about this? Answer #2: When did you figure it out?

Goro: I have no evidence. But after we fought… I didn’t remember anything clearly until I met you again. And then of course, there’s the issue of Isshiki Wakaba and Okumura. I'm not an idiot; I know there’s something wrong here.

Maruki: … I see. I assumed that if I told Akechi-kun about this reality, he would not waver from his opinion. What about you, Amamiya-kun? Do you also want to “surrender your life,” as Akechi-kun has said? If that’s how you see it, that’s fine with me. But I must ask again: will you accept this reality I’ve made?

Maruki: You are the one who shined light on my research, and gave me the power necessary to create this world. I thank you for that, and I have no regrets. I hope you understand that. I don’t think it’s fair of me to expect an answer of you right away. I will leave for now.

(Maruki stands up to leave.)

Ren: Answer #1: Take this. Answer #2: Don’t forget this.

(Ren throws the calling card on the table. Maruki picks it up and reads it.)

Maruki: Ah, yes. Message received.

(Maruki’s threat meter reaches 100%)

Maruki: I’ve said all that I had to say. As promised, tomorrow I will wait for you at the Palace. I’ll see you then… as long as you don’t change your mind. If, however, you don’t show up, then I will assume you have accepted this reality. Take care.

(Maruki leaves Leblanc.)

Mona: … So what do we do now?

Goro: … I want to talk to Amamiya.

Mona: Akechi… All right, I understand. (To Ren) Please tell me later what you decide to do.

(Mona leaves. Goro and Ren stand up and face each other.)

Goro: … I’m the one to decide my own path. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living like a pet in a world made by someone else.

Ren: Answer #1: Is that okay with you? Answer #2: But, Akechi... You...

Goro: So what? You should fight Maruki, just as you planned. Or are you the sort of person who bows down to someone else’s will over a little thing like this?

Ren: Answer #1: It’s not a “little thing.” Answer #2: Don’t say it like that. Answer #3: I will not give in.

Goro’s Answer to #1: That’s exactly what it is! Do you think I’d be happy with you feeling sorry for me? I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need that kind of hesitation!

Goro: Your hesitation... is like a betrayal to me.

Goro: …Tell me. What do you want to do?

Ren: (If we fight Maruki and get rid of him, we can go back to our original reality. But Akechi…)

Goro: Don’t make me wait. Answer me.

Ren: Answer #1: I’ll fight Maruki. Answer #2: I’ll live in Maruki’s paradise.

Goro’s Answer to #2: ... Are you serious?

Ren: Answer #1: No. Answer #2: ... I’m serious.

Goro’s Answer to #2: So that’s your answer. I have nothing more to say to you. The deal’s off.

Ren: (Is this the right thing to do?)

Goro’s Answer to #1: Good. That’s a relief. I refuse to accept this reality; I’m sick of being controlled. (lit., I’ve had enough of dancing along to someone else. He’s referring to what the cognition of himself said in Shido’s Palace, as being a puppet who dances at Shido’s command.)

Goro: Let’s go home, to our reality.

(Loki and Robin Hood fuse to form Hereward.)

Goro: Yes, this is perfect! Nothing can stop me now! (lit., I’ll rampage as much as I can)

(Goro turns away from Ren.)

Goro: It’s not worth living in a narcissist’s paradise (lit., It’s not worth living in a reality of self-satisfaction). We’ll win this, together.

—

So.

1: MARUKI IS A SHIPPER ON DECK

2: The problem with this reality is 1: they can’t be sure Goro truly survived, 2: Goro has no proof that he did die, but he’s operating based on assumptions, 3: Goro does not want to live in a world where he’s yet again powerless to someone else’s will. Ren basically has to choose between who he will make happy: himself (staying in the paradise) or Goro (and risk losing him). It’s honestly… really romantic?

3: This is the person Goro’s final Persona is based on.

#akeshu #shuake #persona 5 royal #persona 5 royal spoilers #p5r spoilers #mod krist translates #long post

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iloveabunchofmovies · 3 years

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Incredibles 2

I've only seen The Incredibles once, back toward the end of its theatrical run in 2004. While I've never bothered revisiting it, I do remember it being fun, clever, exciting, and grounded. It was a family drama with the whimsy of a cartoon. It was stock superhero stuff, but instead of rushing to get the next issue on newsstands, the creators had the freedom to overthink every geeky detail of how each character's powers could fit into each situation. It didn't resonate with me the way Toy Story or Monsters, Inc. did, but it was totally solid, and it was also the last Pixar movie I really liked. The sequel doesn't change that. What is this movie? Do you guys like this? I mean, I don't hate it. There are scattered moments where it's stylish or funny or cool. It's so...so shapeless. It seems to pick up right where the last one left off, which was a little tricky since, like I said, I haven't seen that movie in 17 years. But fine; that's my problem. The two movies were released 14 years apart, but maybe they expected the audience to rent the first one and get caught up. I don't know. Didn't the first movie have a pretty satisfying conclusion, though? Hadn't they worked through the marital problems and become a stronger family? I don't mind that the quick fix didn't actually solve everything forever, but this marriage is in terrible shape. Mr. Incredible is an awful husband and lousy father. What happened to all that character development? Why am I supposed to care about anything that happens if none of it's going to matter by the time the next sequel comes around? Don't worry about that, though. Mr. Incredible doesn't undergo much change in Incredibles 2. Well, he does overcome every character flaw he has, but only because he gets one good night's sleep. It turns out he wasn't a narcissistic fascist; he was just a widdle cwanky. So, the family drama is unengaging. The twist in the superhero story is...well, I'm not even sure it is a twist. The treat it like a surprising revelation late in the movie, but I don't understand how anyone wouldn't have seen it coming from the very start. Maybe this is just a movie for six-year-olds who have never seen a movie before. It's so needlessly violent, though, with mild, casual swearing and kind of a lot of drinking. There are also a lot of boring, talking parts. The whole movie seems sharply divided between tedious stuff for parents and idiot zaniness for babies, and neither part worked for me. Occasionally, these two tones would meet, and I'd catch glimpses of the energetic, clever Incredibles I remembered. Only occasionally, though. At least Incredibles 2 doesn't do the typical Pixar thing, begging the audience to cry with maudlin scenes of cartoon characters facing their mortality. I really hate modern Pixar. I didn't hate Incredible 2, though. Mostly, I was just disappointed and confused. (Eep! I thought I was done with this review, and then I remembered the underlying message, about how superheroes are great, actually, and politicians are trying to keep them from doing their job just because of all the devastating destruction they leave in their wake. Maybe if they had better P.R. and wore bodycams and worked for entrepreneurs with limitless inherited wealth and finished reading Atlas Shrugged, the rest of us could admit that we need our genetic superiors to protect us with an iron fist. Yikes, dude.) - - -

I’m ranking every movie I watch between my 33rd and 34th birthdays right here on Tumblr dot com because I am some kind of idiot person, I guess.

Moonrise Kingdom

Fatty Drives the Bus

Pork Pie

Incredibles 2

My Fair Lady

Thunder Force

#The Incredibles #Incredibles 2 #Disney #Pixar #Movies

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trash-writes-stuff · 5 years

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Metathesiophobia (Scriddler)

Gotham has seen its fair share of chaos in the past years, but nothing could prepare them for the trouble that started brewing when two certain rogues met under the not-so-loving roof of Arkham Asylum.

Chapter One:

Girl Talk

It was raining outside. No one thought much of it, given the fact that it was always raining in Gotham. After a year of full of chaos, the city seemed to enter a resting phase. The citizens called it the calm before the storm, Arkham and its infamous inmates representing the metaphorical storm. The place was considered less of an asylum and more of a prison for the mentally disturbed by the general public. Every rogue who entered the asylum walls ether escaped or legally got out, only to cause more chaos in the end.

It was a particularly uneventful Monday, and as the harsh autumn rain hit the asylum roof, the guards were getting ready to take said inmates to the rec room.

Some were in therapy beforehand; some were in their cells. The guards took them one by one and left them in the room where the rogues were free to do whatever they pleased as long as it didn’t violate any asylum policy or general law. The guards who were assigned to watch the inmates were never certain of what was going to happen, but over the course of a few weeks, they noticed that a certain pair of rogues sat on the same couch every Monday and Thursday. Today was no different.

“Professah haven’t ya heard?” asked Harley in her chipper voice, sounding almost a tad bit too excited. If one were to try describing her voice, it’d boil down to obnoxious at first, but very charming when you get used to it. She was goofy, yet an incredibly smart woman who could have led a normal life if it weren’t for a certain pale-faced clown. Every rogue could agree with the fact that she was one of the only glimmers of light in the dark, gloomy asylum.

“Heard what?” Jonathan responded his face representing the boredom which he felt. His and Harley's chats used to have some spice to them, there was always juicy gossip to talk about, but the past few weeks didn’t give them any solid material to discuss. He sat, one leg crossed over the other, Harley resting her head on his lap, legs thrown over the side of the couch. With the tone of Harley's voice, he could sense that something at least moderately interesting had come up.

“Ya know that Nygma guy? The green one? The one who’s been kept tied up in solitary confinement for the past 6 months?” Jon recognized the name. Almost everyone in the asylum knew the name. Hell, he was sure that almost everyone in Gotham knew the name too. After all, Nygma was the man who managed to completely take over Gotham about 7 months ago. He would have kept in under his thumb had the Bat not stopped him. He heard the guards mention a while ago that the man needed to be kept all tied and locked up because otherwise, he’d escape. But what could be so interesting that she’d bring up the man with such delight in her voice?

“Yeah, what about him?” He inquired. Harley's eyes shot up to glare at the auburn-haired man who seemed to be twirling one of her pigtails unconsciously. Her bewildered gaze confused Jonathan even more.

“So, yah really haven’t heard? They are lettin him out of solitary sometime this week! Deemed him sane ‘nough from what I heard. Ain’t that exitin!?” Now THAT was interesting. Crane saw it a long shot to call a man who mercilessly slaughtered people half a year ago any kind of sane, especially with the doctors Arkham had. They couldn’t offer help to someone with a simpler mental disorder, let alone to a narcissistic megalomaniac he’d heard that Nygma was. The man claimed he was a genius, with an intellect unmatched by anyone else.

“You don’t think that’s a stretch? Calling him sane?” It was weird. The man was either a good liar or the Arkham doctors were dumber than he thought. Probably both. Harley nodded her head, her face dawning a more serious expression.

“I know, right! He’s a nut! Smart sure, but a nut none the less.” And based on what he had heard, Jon had to agree. You didn’t have to know the man to declare him crazy on some level.

Crane was fortunate enough to have been out of Gotham during the whole ‘Zero Year’ scenario, and although he would have loved to relish in the fear of the citizens, he wasn’t very keen on dying. And even though he admired what Nygma had done to the city, Crane simply didn’t care much for the ginger man. From what Jon had seen of him, the man was basically a peacock, an attention whore if he’d ever witnessed one.

Before they could continue their conversation, however, someone tapped Crane’s shoulder. Both rogues looked up, only to find a green-skinned woman looking down at them. Harley immediately shot up, squealing. Meanwhile, Jon just glared at the woman.

“Crane, mind if I borrow Harley for a while?” Said Ivy, in a tone that was more demanding than anything else. Jon realized that it really wasn’t a question, so he just waved his hand as to say, ‘Go right ahead’. Harley had already jumped off the couch and ran up to Red, pulling her into one of her famous bone-crushing hugs. Ivy was inclined to return the hug, and not because she liked hugs, but because a) This was Harley and b) She was her girlfriend.

“Sorry Professah, but duty calls! We’ll talk more on Thursday.” Harley said, hugging the man from behind before running off with Ivy. The hug only caught Crane a little off guard, as anyone who hung out with Harley had to get used to her sometimes overbearing affection. As for Ivy, Crane didn’t like the plant-loving woman, but he sure as hell respected her. She didn’t take anyone’s shit on the best of days, and she’d make sure that whoever crossed her knew what they did.

“Goodbye, child.” Jon muttered, but Harley had already run off with her girlfriend. The air around him went still, as it always seemed to be when he was alone. He didn’t really talk to the other rogues, and the ones he did enjoy having a conversation with, like Freeze or Hatter, weren’t in the asylum at the moment. And as he wasn’t in the mood for dealing with Two-Face or the Penguin who were currently bickering over something on the TV, he just had to sit in silence until the end of rec time, which was in about 30 minutes.

He leaned his head back and sighed, content with the quiet of the room. Joker was in solitary this week, and probably the week after that, which made the rec room feel more silent than usual. It was nice. Jon missed the silence. The asylum was always so loud, the screams of the insane always filling the halls, their symphony seemingly draining the energy of the staff with each passing day. Crane loved screams, but sometimes, peace and quiet were better.

He had a feeling he wouldn’t be getting any peace or quiet soon.

The following days were mostly uneventful, so Thursday came around very quickly for Crane. He went from the useless therapy sessions to gardening time (which was on Tuesdays and Wednesdays), to being in his cell in the blink of an eye, and the two days dividing Monday and Thursday had passed faster than he’d expected them to. Then Thursday rolled around.

The Thursday evening was as peaceful as it could be in an asylum full of criminally and otherwise insane people. That being said, the evening seemed to be the only peaceful time of the day, as just two hours ago two of the inmates got sedated and led back to their cells, and were now probably still tied to their beds either screaming bloody murder or just passed out. It was rec time, and Harley and Jon were yet again seated on their couch, sitting in the same position they’ve been sitting in since this whole ‘Girl Talk’ thing had started. Crane had wanted to voice his complaints about the name Harley gave their little gossip session but didn’t have the heart to do so. Harley was just too adorable to resist sometimes.

“Today’s group therapy was just horrible.” The blond covered her face with her hands out of frustration, sighing into them. “Dunno why the doctors think it’ll do us any good.” Another thing Harley and Jon enjoyed doing was shaming the very existence of the Arkham doctors. Both had earned their Ph.D.s, and even though those Ph.D.s were now invalid because of their criminal records, they still had half a brain with which to tell that the staff here were just in it for the paycheck. Harley had worked at the asylum before, so the paycheck situation made no sense to her as the payment had been just as miserable as the place was.

“Hm, yes, sometimes you truly have to wonder if anything really goes through our doctor's heads.” A grimace spread over the southerner's face. “Altho, you have to admit it was entertaining when one of those idiots whacked the other right across the face.” Crane said smirking down at Harley. She snorted and giggled a bit, hands finally leaving her face. She decided to sit up, startling Jonathan for a moment.

“Yeah it was funny, alright. But I mean, these types of sessions don’t help anyone! You don’t wanna talk about your past with me, for hell's sake, so why would you wanna do it in front of a bigger group of people?” She held her hands in front of her head and then plopped them back down when she had finished talking. “And no offense Professah, I’m just using ya as an example.” She cast her glance back to the older man, and he just rolled his eyes.

“None taken, child, none taken.” As Crane had uttered those words, the rec rooms opened again. Harley's eyes widened with what seemed like a combination of shock and excitement as she almost jumped out of her seat. “Jonny look!” She whispered, and Crane twirled his head towards the doorway far too quickly for his liking.

There stood Edward Nygma, who was currently being uncuffed by two guards. Jon would have called it exaggeration but given the fact that the man had to be kept levitating above the ground just so he could not escape, he really had no right to comment. As the cuffs left his hands, he stretched for what seemed the first time in days. His posture was ideal, and his whole appearance seemed to scream confidence. His hair was mostly slicked back, save for a few lose strands, and oh god his sideburns made Jonathan want to scream. The wounds and bruises had healed, the stitches he had were all taken off, and his skin was back to the perfect porcelain shade it used to be before the Bat took to beating the ginger up. One thing that didn’t click with Harley was the fact that the Riddler had seemingly more freckles than she remembered him having when he took over Gotham, but she figured that he must have worn makeup because the doll-like complexion he had was far too perfect to be real.

Hell, even in the Arkham uniform he still looked too flawless to be human. He was mesmerizing, basically glowing, his ego visible to everyone in the room and he hadn’t even spoken a word yet. Crane would be lying if he said the man wasn’t beautiful, and outstandingly so. It was the genius part he was unsure of.

And now Crane could only hope that this man wasn’t more trouble than he was worth.

#scriddler #riddlecrow #riddler #edward nygma #Jonathan crane #scarecrow #year one scarecrow #zero year riddler #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #harley and jon being besties

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calamitynight · 5 years

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Tagged by: @thedeliverygod (thank you)

Rules: list your five favorite anime characters and tag some people!

1. Yato (Noragami)

I love him so much! Words can’t even explain. Yato is a huge reflection of me as a person. He is always a character I can relate to. That includes his happy or his sad parts. His characterization is so amazing, the way he shows shift of expressions, emotions, and feelings. He risk his life for the ones he loves. He grows to be a better god and accepts help from others to reach his dream. Something that no one can accomplish themselves. He just feels so real, and for a god, he’s the closest thing to being human as one gets.

2. Rin Okumura (Blue Exorcist)

For the spawn of Satan, this boy is a freaking ANGEL. Nothing better than a boy that’s never afraid to show his emotions. One with an amazing optimism, especially when his life is completely a down spiral. And a plus, a man that can cook like no ones business. I’ve loved this boy since I was a young teen and I will love him always. He’s taught me a great deal about strength, how to look on the brighter side even when all you want to do is give up. He always cares for others even though he’s a depressed mess. Seriously no other word to describe him, but an ANGEL!

3. Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

This man has taught me a lot about myself since I began to watch this amazing show. I’m not afraid to say that I do have my own issues from time to time. I’ve come to terms with my depression because of this character. I feel myself relating a lot to him (and not the part of him being a suicidal maniac btw). But the fact that even though you can make mistakes in the past, that shouldn’t stop you from trying to be a better person in your present. Yet with that in mind, you should learn from your past and not erase it. Even thought life is a mess, you should always find the time to laugh about it as well. Then there is him as a character. His intelligence, his cunning personality, I just think he’s an amazing character and if I could pick, I would add everyone in this series on here. It’s an amazing show with incredible characters. Completely recommend this anime.

4. Tamaki Suoh (Ouran High School Host Club)

Alright, now this one is completely personal for me. This boy has never EVER failed to make me laugh or smile. I can relate so much with this poor, beautiful boy. I don’t talk about myself much, but I feel like saying how I relate to him needs an explanation. Sadly my mother wasn’t very loved by my fathers side of the family. I am the only daughter of my dads and because of that I was expected to do so much. I was raised to be the perfect little girl. Listen to everything my father told me to do, dress how he wanted me to. Everything was to his and his families expectations. When my parents divorced, it was heartbreaking, but liberating for me. I was taken by my mother and I couldn’t be happier. I could be whoever I wanted to be, yet I had so many things drilled into me, it was hard to change my ways. I had to be the perfect daughter always, and I hated it. I wanted nothing more but to be accepted by my family. So I had perfect grades, I did extra curriculum’s, I never had time for myself. Then I made a friend who showed me this anime. It saved my life. Tamaki, I understood him so well. His pain, the way he hid it from everyone else, still he kept on smiling. I wanted his strength. I saw beyond his stupid act of being the narcissistic idiot that made everyone happy. His only wish was to make others smile, so then maybe his mother would be smiling too. He wanted nothing more than to be accepted and be himself. I get so emotional talking about him. I just love him so much. I am free because of the lessons that he and this amazing anime has taught me.

5. Kirito (Sword Art Online)

I know so many people hate on this anime, and truly I don’t get it, but your opinion is your opinion. I believe all anime is a copy of other anime. People need to get their inspiration from somewhere, but whatever....This boy is me in a nutshell when it comes to gaming. i love him, he is such a nerd and it’s amazing. I relate so much. I am such a spas when it comes to talking about video games. The way he gets excited about new quest and just can’t wait to get his hands on it. Like lord same, I get a game I just have to play and I am on it for hours to days. His love for graphics and his attention to detail, I get it man, I get it all. There is nothing better than a good game with amazing graphics and details. Honestly if we had things like full dive gaming systems, no one would ever see me again.

Guys I have so many more, honestly this post would be so long if I could add more characters I love. So I decided to put the ones who I relate to the most and who have taught me a lot about myself.

Taggings: @a-broken-pact @lilmrspayne96 @umbrella-kun and anyone else who wants to do it. Let me know what who you guys love!

#top 5 anime characters #noragami #yato #yatogami #blue exorcist #rin okumura #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd #ouran host club #ouran hshc #ouran high school host club #tamaki suoh #sword art online #sao #kirito #kazuto kirigaya

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thisismyghost-blog · 5 years

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1st time I told my fam/friends on fb about the sadistic monster who abused me and is facing agg kidnapping and 3agg rape charges

So idk how some of you will react to this but i have to risk people who will hate me or just turn away in order to gain reinforcements. I have been practically in hiding for almost a year after finally giving up on keeping a bold face at my job that I loved with a few people that I really loved due to the pain I didn’t know how to handle of being visibly and deeply scorned by a few people who I had done nothing to but be friendly and awkward to (just due to lack of social experience)I have been protected under the love of my amazing family, my best friend Sayruh, and the incredible loving man who I can’t describe rn who came into my life about five years ago and with who’s path, unfortunately, was diverged during what I’m about to tell you. This isn’t going to be college level essay ish, so bare with me. I’m bleeding and panting out of breathe in the battlefield of life at this moment but I haven’t dropped the sword and I never will. I don’t have to do this alone, as much as I’ve been alone and felt deeply affected by if people think I am worthless, stupid, ugly, a whore or make assumptions about me that hurt them or take me the wrong way.i have hidden myself to protect others and to protect myself but I see now that is utter BULLLSHHIIITTT y’all. I was in a “relationship”with what fits the pattern of a malignant narcissist, possible psychopath for 9 entire soul crushing, brain washing, body mutilating, being made to believe I was bad or crazy, turning against myself months. That’s the time it takes to grow a fully ripened human, and apparently it’s also the time to nearly break an intelligent, loving sister, mother, daughter, friend, woman almost entirely. This creature who masquerades as an attractive, eloquent, humble, caring, selfless individual has likely been slandering me since the moment he walked into my place of work as he, behind the scenes, carefully put up walls between me and anyone who might later have compassion for the things he had in store for me. That wasn’t terribly hard due to the fact that I was already a very shy person.This Lucifer gaslighted, undermined and abused me while successfully convincing me that he was helping me become a better person and applying his version of “therapy” based on his claimed experience in mental health in another country and coming out of terrible traumas all by himself. This person took the self doubt i already had, filled it with poison, and offered it through a needle promising the antidote. This person used my compassion and love for others to convince me to let him do horrible things to me as a stress relief or way of dealing with their past trauma in order to help them, to help them not do self destructive things and be able to go out and help others in Grand ways that he constantly spoke of.I have been hiding because I have seen that human nature tends to immediately start looking for ways to blame or dehumanize people that are in horrible situations like this. I have been hiding because I could feel the seering looks of disgust, feel the betrayel from those I had admired and even looked up to that had already taken place and wished not to extend an opportunity for others. I realize now that I have been ashamed of being vulnerable to someone else’s lack of humanity and feeling as though that truly debased me or may as well if it succeeded in debasing me from human status in the eyes of most people onlooking, so why give them a chance to onlook?I have no choice now because today I was shown my choice by the assistant district attorney. It was my hope to protect others from this monster. It was my hope because I have seen what these creatures who walk among us, looking like people, expressing emotion on their face like people, and I have seen this creature twist otherwise upstanding, moderately intelligent individuals into hating a person in order to discredit them and also back them further into a corner, convince them they are nothing, watch them suffer and feed on their tears like a twisted vampire. You think you can spot a monster? Maybe you would have better luck. I think we all think we do, how can you not believe what your mind is telling you when you look at what looks like a human being but is a monster no one warned you about, who literally takes pleasure in slowly driving you insane and takes bites out of your flesh like a wolf and yelling at you for bleeding. I am not perfect, no one is. I make mistakes, that’s human. I take the wrong path sometimes, also human. Do I need to say that in order for you not to start asking a million questions until you get to the part where your brain can let out a sigh of relief and go “ooohh I was worried this world was that horrific for a minute but clearly this bitch is an idiot or a sinner who deserved whatever she’s going on about.”?I want to stop and give credit where credit is due.I am tempted to name names but I haven’t. There are people who I worked next to everyday and only had affection for who completely turned their back on me when he was arrested. I didn’t call police, my doctor did. I hate attention, I have no vendettas. I have to get out of this corner letting him and his minions scare/shame me into silence and projecting their ill motives onto me. I know it makes no sense. I only know that I am sure I experienced what I imagine thousands of murdered women experienced in their final moments. I feel that he would enjoyed watching my final moments and holding them in his hands like a god. I only know that an amazing doctor who I trusted and went to for advice about how to not get murdered or even possibly salvage my life from without police help because I didn’t believe they would help me. I believed him when he told me his ex’s called police and he talked them away, I believed him when he told me that police came to my door at times when I was screaming and he talked to them while I was in the bathroom crying and convinced them everything was ok. I believed what he didn’t have to put into words but only insinuate, that everyone will call me a stupid lying whore for staying around and trying to get help would only result in being told so. I was wrong. My doctor called the police without my knowledge, everyone treated me with compassion and respect and told me I was safe now. I thought that meant other girls would be safe now. I was mistaken. I held onto the remaining shards of my life with all my strength, allowing people under his spell to treat me despicably as I fought the tears, told myself it’s my fault for not being a better person who speaks up and is more than just quiet and friendly but involved and let’s you know them and is there for you. I tried to hold my head high and ignore them or focus on the 3 friends I had left and remind myself that they could have no clue what the truth was and that they would never believe me over such a charming loveable individual. How do you tell someone that a person they admire is capable of worse things than they have ever imagined and expect them to believe you unless they are incredibly close and trusting of you?Trial is coming up. I thought I could seek back up through expert witnesses and professionals who could untangle the dark web of deadly lies, ignorance and misinformation. I thought maybe I could find others like the girl he claimed to have put in the hospital for three months.. I thought.. Maybe.. I could sleep at night one day without picturing dead girls all alone in a landfill disposed of by him and forgotten. That is only my imagination but your mind is your window to the world and it’s all you see. Instead I am told that due to the burden of proof, even after the stack of felony indictments an incredible female detective at Smyrna PD was able to procure on my behalf.. That he will most likely walk free or get less than a decade and be let loose upon the world again. If you ever get hurt, make sure it’s by a total stranger and that you see clearly what’s going on in order to be able to immediately, report it and get the hell away from them so the law can protect you.(sarcasm if u didn’t see it.)There has to be an alarm raised and debate changed. Not for me but for my niece, my cousins, our daughters and sons, every human being who is out there vulnerable to be spotted by a shark who probably dresses and speaks properly and seems like a “stand up citizen” maybe even have a position of authority, maybe even like he did, claim to be a representative of Jesus and some version of my personal Satan’s false story that he was a champion of all orphans and the disenfranchised. I have pictures of him surrounded by smiling children he claimed were in a orphanage he managed for a time in an impoverished part of the world and claimed to have been their main source of affection and mental health assistance in dealing with the loss of their parents.If you are totally mind f9(?#d after reading this, understand that I have been fighting epic battles through Hell daily via my mind and PTSD armed with love from my son, family, Antwane. An inkling that maybe I can build some sort of bridge to the nameless victims who will never have a charge formally filed much less prosecuted, the forgotten girls buried in shallow graves because a monster feasted on their human heart and knew no one would be in their corner to save them and that society at Large would walk on their unmarked grave with no tears shed for a “whore”. Armed with the small bit of reason and understanding I’ve gained through education and love not letting me die no matter how much agony and confusion and darkness swallowed me whole I walk out of that dark corner of shame today. I still need healing, I still am learning not to be hard on myself, I still have no idea what I’m doing but I’m fighting y’all and I have gained the type of clarity I’m not sure many people ever have after a lifetime. There is no magic day to come where after you try hard enough you never incur anymore criticism and you feel good enough, but in the meantime those who are so sure of themselves are devouring the innocent, virtually wholly unchecked and every bully, every shaming comment meant to put you down and shut you up is a type of weaponry used by those behaving inhumanely and projecting their diminished humanity onto you. Don’t let them do it. If you care how you affect other people you are top notch in my book and every shortcoming you have tell everyone to STFU about and keep going. Your inability to wow a crowd or rock a swimsuit for a magazine or even speak to a stranger or your emotional outburst and lack of attention to your house when you’re depressed.. any and everything that you feel ashamed about, you give it the middle finger for me. Your voice in your own head and how you see yourself is where it starts and YOU are who I need to join me in this fight with the odds insanely against me and the rest who fall into their snare. I need you to keep trying,I need you to fight to see for yourself what really matters and what is left because there are no superheroes or quick fixes and everytime you feel empathy for someone and want to take their pain or help, this is how. You become strong and you fight for reason, compassion, you fight the voices that degrade and throw away human beings but you start with your own.If you want to talk, text me. Might take some time but I’ll be there and I will not judge anything so if you just need to vent things you feel shame about I am a good sounding board I have discovered. I don’t have any answers for you but I am another human being who values you. Naj is doing great btw he’s facing his own bullies but he’s got an expert on his side and an amazing dad and uncle. I have an extremely bright gorgeous life ahead and I see it on the horizon. I almost said if I don’t reach it I will die trying but there are 3 amazing guys in the next room that love me, a gorgeous brilliant sister a few minutes away, my mom with her endless Love, compassion, years of memories and experience that I hope to be able to properly learn from and appreciate, this genius niece who is so much like me at her age but better and actually likes me. I could keep going. If you looked in the mirror today and thought anything besides “Damn fine bitch, world’s lucky to have me!” then go apologize please. Maybe you won’t mean it but you can get there. I may not be able to stop him. There may be Hell on Earth that I have yet to see, but the people who love us and are waiting for us to meet and love them, they are what matters now. You are what matters to me now. He used to tell me I would gain great wisdom from him and help him change the world. I did gain wisdom, I won’t give him credit for that, I dug it out of the ashes of what he left behind. If that’s possible then imagine what you can do

#recovery #recoveryafterabuse #recoveryafterrape #raperecovery #narcabuse #malignantnarcissit #sadisticpsychopath #covertmalignantnarcissist #psychopathabuse #datingpsychopath #datingcovertnarcissit #rapetrial #lowselfesteem #shame #ptsd #rapetraumarecovery #pnsd

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berdbrainx · 5 years

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🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊

Send a pen and I’ll talk about my OCs!! | Accepting!

((oh boy that’s a lot lmao :’) i do have slightly more than 17 ocs though so i can talk about a whole bunch of them!

1. first of all, there’s Vincent. he’s probably the reason i have somewhat of a handle on roleplaying berdly in the first place, bc he’s a Huge Jerkwad and actually is more of a narcissist than berdly is, if you can believe that? he’s diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder though, so that’s a pretty fair reason why imo.

vincent is from london too so uh,,, because i sometimes channel his vibes to rp berdly, i just Cannot Stop reading some of berdly’s dialogue with a british accent and it’s horrible because me @ myself: that’s not his voiceclaim lmao :’)

anyways, vincent is also pretty smart like berdly, but with anything other than academic stuff, he’s actually a Total Idiot lmao. another way he and berdly are pretty different is that, uh, berdly can actually feel empathy and will feel bad about his actions if pushed enough. vincent on the other hand will not care At All about how much his actions hurt the other person not really because of his npd but because he’s just that much of an Asshole mcjerkface. also he’s a ghost who died in his late teens, like about 3 other of my ocs who i’ll talk about soon lol

i’ll talk about the rest of them under the cut because i feel like this’ll probably get pretty long!!

2. okay, so next one i’ll talk about is probably Cheryl. she’s a human high schooler though, who goes to the same school the Ghost Boys go to, which is a school referred to by the students as St. Lawrence. and she’s one of the other people i think about when trying to rp berdly. she’s also very smart, and uses sarcasm so much. however, she’s actually a really nice person. she only really reserves being a little shit to her tight-knit group of close friends, in the school band and stuff (she plays clarinet in band!!). she’s mostly pretty quiet and minds her own business otherwise. so in other words, berdly is basically vincent’s assholishness + cheryl’s sarcasm + both of them being smart.

3. i guess i’ll just say random facts about different ocs now, so it won’t get too long lol. Vinnie is a total sweetheart who keeps forgetting he’s a ghost. but he loves bendy straws and kool-aid, and he tends to say a weird combination of modern + outdated slang all the time.

4. Devon secretly really likes cute things, even though he’s emo af. and he’s also a huge pushover nerd, who got adopted into Cheryl’s group of friends because they just,,, they’re rambunctious kids who see a loner and they immediately absorb them into their group with the power of friendship and inclusion

5. Flint’s actual name is Devon, but I already had a devon so i thought it would be confusing,,,,, so i gave him a nickname lol. it fits a lot though, because he’s sort of a pyromaniac. so yeah. “flint” :’) he’s a ghost with questionable morals, and is definitely part of the rowdy group of friends in The Band Squad, so yep. he plays percussion in band, but really because of all the free time he has in his afterlife, he could,,,,,, play any instrument in the band if he wants to. also: he’s usually my faceclaim when i type out of character posts on my various blogs!!

6. i’m out of Ghost Boys to talk about, so i guess i’ll talk about the other band kids. Daniel is a percussionist who was actually based off, like,,,,, two people in my band when i was in high school! one was this really cool guy in the grade above me who played trumpet, and the other was another cool percussionist in the grade below who was,,,, actually responsible for his appearance and personality so i’d say he’s mostly based off the younger kid

7. Aaron is a trumpet player who was mostly based off that trumpet player from the above point, and his friend who was also a trumpet player. those two had a pretty great friendship, so i just. made daniel and aaron have that sort of friendship too lol

8. Lori plays the tenor sax, kinda like me, and she’s the only one out of the friend group who can drive apparently :’) she can also play the bass guitar and stuff

9. Cody is an alto sax player, and has sort of a rivalry with Lori. they both say they don’t like each other but everyone knows they’re best friends and possibly crushing on each other too lol. he’s also pretty short, and lori makes fun of him a lot for it, just cause they’re close enough that she’s allowed to do that

10. Elaine is a flute player who’s really sweet, and kind of the mom friend of the group. she isn’t as close with everyone like the others are with each other, though, but they all love her anyway because she’s just. so precious and caring all the time

11. Julia is a girl who goes to “the rich school” and she sort of just happened to make friends with the band kids one day due to their shared love of memes. she’s cheryl’s girlfriend now, and she plays clarinet in her school’s orchestra, and trombone in jazz band. she sometimes ditches responsibilities for her school, just to hang out with the kids from St. Lawrence. she’s also one of Flint’s best friends now

12. Blake is a person who is actually not in high school for once, and they’re in their early 20s. they really like animals, and they tend to act a little obnoxious around friends, but they’re usually pretty quiet around strangers. they’re also albino, and are somewhat self conscious about it since they used to get teased about it.

13. Liam is also an oc who actually doesn’t go to St. Lawrence either! he’s a mage in the dragonfable world, and he’s pretty much a huge troublemaker, who loves to mess with people. he laughs whenever anyone calls him a hero, because if anything, he’s incredibly chaotic neutral and doesn’t care that much about saving people unless it’s fun

14. Kroft is a tiefling wizard, and he tends to be really positive. he’s also really impulsive and says/does things without thinking about it. he’s actually an academic genius, and can retain So much knowledge even if he was only told once, or looked at a book once. he also likes going to bed early, and waking up really early in the morning just because the sunrise looks neat!

15. gonna talk about more Rich School Kids. Brian is pretty much really cold and analytical, actually pretty similar to vincent/cheryl/berdly in a way, only if you,,,,, completely sucked the emotion out of them lmao. he’s also a manipulative person, so that’s kinda Bad, but he ends up getting together with Tristan and Learns How To Deal With Feelings And Being Nice lol. he plays percussion in orchestra, and is,, sort of obsessed with organization

16. Tristan is a guy who’s really nice, but quiet. quiet as in, he’s selectively mute. and when he does talk, he ends up sounding really soft-spoken and monotone. he was actually the one to ask out brian first though :’) he also really likes flowers tbh!

17. last one and i guess i’ll talk about Martin. he’s a guy from the 1920s who went to St. Lawrence and eventually befriended Devon during that time. he was really impulsive and outspoken, which pretty much almost gave Devon several heart attacks because you just Don’t Do Those Things in the specific way that martin does it, especially in those years. like, uh, mooning the police during an activist rally. they both loved each other, but because Devon was too afraid to actually be in a relationship with him, even if they kept it a secret, they never ended up in a relationship at all other than being “best friends”. surprisingly, martin lived a healthy long life despite doing Things that would have got him killed several times in his youth))

#|| I’m Not Surprised You Asked Me || Asks.#|| I Have All The Answers || Meme Answers.#princce7 #|| Former Smart Kid With One Brain Cell || OOC.

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forestvents · 2 years

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Its been 6 years since I updated this.

I've been having a hard time. Blogging, the idea of it anyways, makes me nauceous. I used to use my tumblr as a journal, but now I have trouble bringing myself to do so.

Clint and I are still dating, but every day with him is difficult. I have been more depressed recently. I feel crazy, I feel as if I have lost my mind and ended up never understanding anything. I have trouble being around him. He makes me feel stupid.

He has called me many things throughout our dating. A cheater, a liar, an idiot, braindead, a whore, annoying, childish. It all hurts. It all hurts a lot. And yet I am still here, and yet I still love him. I feel sick. I have been called a narcissist, and I don't know if it is because he knows it hurts me, or if he genuinely believes it. My therapist says I am not, but most days I am not so sure. I feel like I try really hard to accept my faults, my shortcomings. It is hard to hear these things from him when a lot of it is already my internal monologue. He is someone I put trust in.. but it feels like my trust is betrayed. When I lash out, it feels like he comes back 5 times harder on me. Revenge. He knows how to hurt people's feelings in a very harsh way.

I didn't.

Not for a while. I didn't want to hurt people's feelings. Not intentionally. It is hard to want that but also speak your mind in an almost too straightforward way. I've said things to people I didn't even know were mean or hurtful.

I used to be hyper anxious about making other people happy. I wasn't myself, only parts but not whole. I used to hide a lot of who I am now and it ruined how I thought about other people. For a long time I felt like I was not worth anything unless I was able to do something for others. I still feel that to a degree. But I've tried to learn that my ability to do something for someone does not dictate my worth.

"What do you offer me?" between two people who love each other, it's one of the most hurtful things I can hear. I never wanted to be a salesperson, let alone try to sell my worth to another person. "What can you do for me? What do you do for me?" The only time I've thought these things about another person was... I don't think I've genuinely thought this. Not in an interpersonal way. I'd never ask Rebekah what does she offer me in our friendship. We don't talk often but we still have a connection that is there. We still care, even if we are distant. I would never demand that of Lop. I don't ask Clint what he offers me.. because to me I don't want anyone to offer me anything but their genuine self. I don't expect him to do things for me. I don't expect him to cook or clean for me, I don't expect him to hold me when I am hurting or to accomodate every anxious thought I have. I expect him to be kind, and to respect my pronouns and name if he wants any sort of relationship with me.. I don't expect him to do everything I ask. I don't expect him to do anything i ask, even. I am grateful for the help and kindness he gives me, knowing I cannot return it in the immediate... but I feel incredibly guilty all the time. It eats away at me the way he shows kindness, jumping at things I ask of him. I don't want him to be my maid and always taking care of me the way he does. I want to be treated as a capable individual.

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postguiltypleasures · 6 years

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Romancing the Fiction/Fictionalizing the Romance

[I know it’s incredibly narcissistic, but there are so many things on that used to be online that I can no longer find, so I have decided to re-post entries from my old LiveJournal, portiaslegacy, here. This is the entry I mentioned finding referenced in an online debate.]

Originally published Apr. 21st, 2009 at 1:46 PM

I have been meaning to write the piece on romance in fiction for a while now. I promised it way back, last October. It is occasionally on my mind but getting down to writing is something is something I have to force myself to do. Part of me wants it to be all encompassing, but I think I need a dialogue to be responding to, so please comment.

It is going to start with the slightly embarrassing confession that Ugly Betty changed my life. Before the show came on refreshing my Spanish was something that I meant to do, but never got around to. Then when the show came out I had to familiarize myself with the original from Colombia (Yo soy Betty, la fea. The American version also debuted around the same time as the Spanish one (Yo soy Bea) and the Mexican (La fea más bella). I really liked la española for a while, and hated la mexicana.

Besides expanding my taste in pop music forever (for which I am grateful) it also forced me to think about how romance is portrayed. I generally don’t like, and therefore do not see, “romantic comedies.” So after watching enough and my ability to understand Spanish improved and eventually my euphoria at improving my language skill lessened and a bitter after taste was left. A lot of this has to do with the plot and then the whole why and how it is recycled, what is amended, what is augmented etc.

The basic plot is that Betty is un-presentable and has difficulty finding work. Her lack of grace ironically helps her get work as the secretary, for which she is very over qualified. Her boss is a recently engaged womanizer, whose fiancé wants her best friend as his secretary to curb his ability to fool around. Hiring both women allows him to “appease” his fiancé while buffering former conquests. It also helps when the business gets so fucked up under him that he gets his masters of economics ugly secretary to fix the books. I did not mention before that as Betty is the ugly secretary she is relegated to a former storage closet. It’s small and dark and speaks of neglect and secrets. For what ever reason Betty is madly in love with her boss, Armando in the original. She exclaims “¡tan divino!” (“how divine”) after anything happens between them and flagellates herself over any abuse he may cause her (and there are a few). Armando and his best friends/sounding board/business partner Mario get nervous that Betty will betray them. Mario catches wind that Betty is enamored of Armando and decides Armando should seduce her to ensure her loyalty. It is not hard, and during the mix of humiliation, being adored, and actually consummating the relationship, Armando falls for Betty. She finds out his betrayal, and reveals the corporate illegalities they engaged in to the board. It humiliates Armando in front of his father, and is painful for her too. Naturally, her next step is to run away to a new job in a exotic local, and get that amazing make over. She returns to the company to lead it out of the financial mess. Everyone is amazed by her make over, mostly hostile, board members. Armando is amazed by the transformation, and eventually they reconcile, marriage, baby, less successful sequel. There is an old article at Salon that covers of what is wrong with this. So I will diverge into certain things that bother me that are not so well addressed.

First despite the title, the show is really about Armando. He drives the plot and his commentaries mark changes in the plot, while Betty’s diary underscore things we already know. He also pushes the limits of bad behavior, regularly throwing temper tantrums, berating the secretaries and his fiancé. The fiancé, Marcela, is not the most sympathetic of characters, but she puts up with a lot abuse. Considering this is the longest he has ever been in a relationship it is hard to believe that Armando will ever behave better in a relationship. And the show just does not convince that Armando has changed for the better with Betty’s love. During one scene where Betty is dangling him by his insecurities he stalks her while drunk and picks a fight with her best friend (who he thinks may be her secret paramour) and severely beats him. One of the major points leading to the reconciliation is that he steals her diary! Apparently both of those events should be forgiven and swooned over as they show how seriously he is taking Betty, their relationship, whatever. It is still is an entirely male ego-centric view of what the romance is supposed to be.

A related problem is how Armando’s relationship with Mario defines his with Betty. Not only does Mario forge letters from Armando as part of the “courtship”, Armando tells Mario everything even those post coitus confessions. The show (and some of the fans) makes a big deal over how Armando is not sexually involved with anyone (including Marcela) after sleeping with Betty. But Mario is the only one he treats as an equal. While they fall out in the original’s ending, the sequel involves a reconnection of their friendship. Most of the versions find it important to have these reconcile long before the happy ending. In some, the Mario character would become involved with one of Betty’s friends. It basically says the whole trash talking, womanizing, support group for emotionally abusing others was a pinch in a brotherly relationship, and not the whole damn thing.

Betty does not have anyone she can confide in nearly as much as Armando does with Mario. Nicolas is not only a fake boyfriend he is madly in love with Armando’s other secretary and they engage in their own affair that parodies the main plot. (The storyline generally takes a less forgiving view of this couple than the main one. How much of it is because of the gender reversal?) Betty is kept apart from the other secretaries in the company both by the location of her office and her office secrets. They may be the first group of friends she ever has, she needs to be kept from them to show her superiority from their constant gossip and general femaleness. She cannot be one of them and be special.

While Betty’s looks degrade her as being unwomanly, her discretion and devotion set her apart- for Armando. Also despite her financial intelligence, she is naïve to the point of stupidity in regards to everything else. Despite working in fashion she has no idea how to dress herself or improve herself. And of course the worst bit is that she does not see what kind of heel she is working for. Like she is relieved that he beat her friend up over personal jealousy and not because he was worried they would clean him out financially (which they could do, with impunity). Also, after the second time she sleeps with Armando it is revealed that she has basically lived through this entire seduction plot before. The first time it was with a neighborhood guy who bet that he could get her in bed. It was not hard. She never received much attention and is instantly flattered. But it does make her look like an idiot both for Armando, and because she let the guys who set her up with this creep set her up again to be stood up in the beginning of the series. During those early episodes we also see her flagellate herself over some prior mistake that she has punished her self for ever since. By the time we know what it is, it make it seem like she is incapable of introspection or growth. (At least not without the help of her fairy godmother.)

Basically this is the exception that proves the rule to why there are a lot of hot woman with not so hot men onscreen pairings, and not many of the opposite. Guys can be funny; whatever makes women funny comes with/from humiliation. There are exceptions to this; one of the main reasons I will forever love Gilmore Girls is how the girls could all be really funny without it coming from a point of humiliation all of the time.This led me to think; why in most romances does the guy get to sleep around, be rude and violent while whatever faults the girl has are magnified to the point of making her impossible to be with and every other thing about her must be perfect? Why is whatever shit he pulls okay if he really likes her? Here is a little perverse thing, I am fine with members of a couple sleeping around while not together as long as they treat their other partners with as much care and respect as possible. Never be an ass. It is not about treating the “true love” as special, it is about noticing people. In stories that involve a magical make over that means he (or she) should not be surprised by the change. Impressed is fine, (see “Colonial Day” of Battlestar Galactica for an example), but if he did not believe it, he never saw her. Call it the Sabrina Fairchild rule. Linus Larrabee recognizes Sabrina at once because he always knew her as a person. David Larrabee only sees women he is attracted to is not going to believably fall in love with Sabrina.

While being annoyed by this I remembered that medieval romances were about a man’s quest for closeness to God as represented by a virginal, cloistered woman. I don’t think we ever really got over this no matter how our ideas of God and Love have changed. (Maybe our ideas of God and Love linger in this time period). The way romance is set it is still a holy quest for the male, but it is the reason de entre for the female. Love is supposed to redeem the man, but it just is in her nature, so its not like she gets anything holy out of it. Rejecting love in any form is bad for the woman. It makes her less than human, even if the form “love” takes is demeaning. But I think the biggest problem with this type of romance is that it blinds the couple to each other’s faults while allowing them to just hate everyone who is not them, or on their side. Going back to YSBLF, Armando never really respects Marcela. In their break up scene he says he really loved her but she was too paranoid and demanding, basically a shrew. As much as I hate the love of the bromance, the fact that part of the climax involves Armando picking a (hypocritical) fight with Mario demonstrates the lack of character growth. It is still a battle of proving superiority- through the ability to love. Considering the Christian origin is a particularly perverse form of idol worship.

And the comments section:

ellecain wrote:

Jul. 14th, 2009 09:46 am (local)

Followed the link from the discussion postWow, I did not know about the original telenovela plot. This is really interesting.

Why is whatever shit he pulls okay if he really likes her? Yes, this! Guys get away with the most outrageous behaviour onscreen (especially romantic comedies) and at the end any questionable decisions on his part are excused or forgiven. Even if it's deception or sleeping around or destroying personal property, he just has a magically clean slate at the end! And I think you're spot on in that last paragraph - often women are only in the script to redeem the hero, often the only roles actresses get are where they're cast as love-interests - love is literally their raison d'etre onscreen. And I think it's kind of disturbing that the obligatory love interest is a tool for the hero to gain moral credibility or something. It reminds me of numerous films where the man's decision to leave behind the cut-throat amoral money-making job or sinful lifestyle is somehow re-affirmed by his falling in love with a good virtuous country girl. It's this bizarre idea that a woman's love is enough to make you a good person and erase your sins.

Rejecting love in any form is bad for the woman.One of the reasons I was happy that Betty rejected both Gio and Henry in the S2 finale. :-) I loved that she wanted to concentrate on herself first (um, although that didn't last long)Oh, and the bit about Gilmore Girls just brought the biggest smile to my face. I'm such rabid fangirl! *points to icon*

portiaslegacy wrote:

Jul. 14th, 2009 10:40 pm (local)

Re: Followed the link from the discussion post

First I am so thrilled that you replied! I wrote this to have conversations because really most of the time if I watch something sold as a "love story" makes my skin crawl.

When I was watching YSBLA and YSB and following the fandom at the now defunct telenovelas latinas boards made me a little disturbed. There are so many WTF things that are accepted because of being "romantic". I need some affirmation that I am not alone about it.

A lot of what I wrote is primarily based on fan reaction. The bit about how there is always some element of being aghast is a female character do not reciprocate any love was partly inspired by the reactions to a scene in the \ season 2 finale of Mad Men (the fandom I spend the most time on). I don't know if you watch it so I am going to be vague about I thought it was weird that some people had to believe that Peggy was still on some level open to a relationship with Pete or being mean to him. It was not really either of those, and I felt like the reaction had to come from some kind of conditioning from other stories.

Yeah it was awesome ho Betty decided to leave both Henry and Gio. At least while indulging her crush on Jesse she did not loose her perspective. And I kind of like Matt as a character if not a love interest.

And Gilmore Girls will always hold a special place in my heart. (Except for the last season (hated that they got Lane pregnant after bad sex and acted all isn't-this-cute!--Everyone-loves-babies!!!!) Rory's high school experience is actually the most relatable one I've seen (though idealized). I love the music (like a vindication of my own taste in music), the dialogue, the wit... it is a show I wish would get knocked off a bit more if only to have more strong matriarchal centered families on tv.

ellecain wrote:

Jul. 18th, 2009 01:10 pm (local)

Re: Followed the link from the discussion postHeh, you're not alone. A lot of so-called romantic behavior I see onscreen is just plain creepy. That's why you'll often find me yelling stuff at my TV like "Aaargh, what are you thinking, dump the guy," and people just look at me like I'm crazy. :-) I haven't seen Mad Men at all, I keep hearing rave reviews about it but somehow I never got around to seeing it. I keep hearing it has a lot of sexist themes so I'm afraid to watch...

Yes, exactly! Matt as a character is interesting but as a love interest for Betty he's just boring. Maybe he'll get better next season. I can't wait for him to be all mean and vindictive as her boss (even though I'll miss Daniel - I secretly crush on the character)!

I loved that Gilmore Girls was centered around smart, strong female characters (and yes, I hated the Lane having kids part too!). I love that they can make shows that were marketed at women - like the soap opera part of Ugly Betty, the fast-talking family dynamics of the Gilmores - and turn them into hilariously funny shows with intelligence and warmth. Male- centered shows that have guns or action are unappealing to me and it's so difficult to find a good tv show with strong central female characters... I think that's why Ugly Betty had me hooked from the pilot!

portiaslegacy wrote:

Jul. 19th, 2009 10:59 pm (local)

Re: Followed the link from the discussion post

First I highly recommend Mad Men. It portrays sexism's prevalence, but it is not a sexist show. More than any other tv show I know it clearly sees sexism as damaging to all involved. Also the main female characters are able to be cool in ways that do not involve guns* or being the chick who does kung fu. And while there have been some weapon wilding kung fu chicks I've loved especially on shows focused on them like Buffy, Alias, or Sarah Connor, right now I am a little tired of it.

I agree with everything about Gilmore Girls and Ugly Betty. I started watching both shows at the beginning and am glad I did. I love how they navigate the in between world of pure fantasy and reality based satire.

* There are a couple of gun appearances on Mad Men. They are memorable but no one dies, and it is doubtful that one is loaded at all.

cloakedhestia wrote:

Apr. 11th, 2010 08:31 pm (local)

I followed your link from Fanforum...

Oh snap, I did not know all that about the Spanish telenovelas the pre-dated Ugly Betty! You've hit upon a lot of ideas I share and just so you know, Ugly Betty had a huge impact on my life, but probably for kind of different reasons than yours.

I feel like the Spanish culture, as a whole, clings more to the idea of the man being dominant and the woman being submissive. Not to say other cultures don't do it too (or even carry it to a more extreme level) but upon reading your summary of Colombian version and comparing it to our American version, I praise our lucky stars we got the changes we did. An unattractive doormat is nor my idea of a role model, and a misogynistic womanizer is libel to make me wanna strangle someone with an XY chromosome.

I really like your ties to Medieval romance and the first thing that came to mind (okay, the second; the first thing was that Renaissance restaurant in the episode Secretary's Day!) was Hamlet. I'm a huge fan of Hamlet and my favorite character was Ophelia but good God, that poor girl. She is valued by her brother for her virtue and chastity, she gets treated like crap by Hamlet, and she goes insane because of heartbreak (though, her father dying probably didn't help, even if he didn't seem to pay much attention to his daughter).

So, yeah, good post! (And I don't think I'll ever watch the Colombian version. Or any Spanish version. For all its writing faults I'll stick with Ugly Betty.)

#Livejournal repost #Livejournal archive #livejournal #portiaslegacy #Ugly Betty #Yo Soy Betty La Fea #YSBLF #betty la fea #Todas Las Feas

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