#hurt my feelings or made me feel bad no matter how intentionally or unintentionally it was | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

55sturn · 1 month

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https://www.tumblr.com/55sturn/750063603824181248/send-in-blurbsrequests-for-a-concept-night-im

what do you think fights with chris would be like ? what starts them and how they get solved ?

this can go one of two ways

1. he’s had a bad day and is incredibly overstimulated, [ i don’t think chris would mean what he says, but when a person is overstimulated, they lash out unintentionally ]

“jesus christ, please just stop talking, i cant take how annoying you’re being.” chris snaps, he’s fidgety, almost as if he skin is vibrating with nerves that are going haywire and his voice rough and direct as he looks at you, his anger and resolve withering away at the sigh of your shocked, slightly hurt face.

he hadn’t mean to snap, or sound so harsh, but his thoughts were going a mile a second and ricocheting off his skull and he couldn’t catch up with them, and paired with your slight frustration made his emotions run high.

“y/n-“ he starts, the words forming on his tongue but he can’t get them out, he has never wanted you to be the target of his misplaced frustration and your name comes out strained, and he sounds defeated.

“go take a shower, or just some time to cool down. you’re obviously on edge, we’ll talk when you’ve calmed down, promise.” you whisper, removing yourself from the situation to let him have some breathing room.

but almost in the blink of an eye, he’s crawling on top of you as you on the couch and tucking his head in the space between your neck and jaw, mumbling jumbled apologies and is nearly in tears over how badly he needs you to know that he’s sorry and wants to make sure you’re okay.

and you’re running your fingers through his hair as he lifts his head, watching your face as you tell him that you’re fine but you need to know when he needs a breather so that things like that don’t happen.

2. leaving important details out in favour of the other person’s feelings and the other takes it the wrong way. [ ie: miscommunication ]

chris has mentioned he was going to a party with nick and matt to film some content as an indirect collab, but what he had failed to mention was who was throwing the party, and you felt hurt by this.

the party chris was going to, was being thrown by a girl he had been with for a while, but he had called things off months before getting with you. however, what made things hurt the most was the fact that everyone who knew of her “relationship” with chris, sung the highest praises about her. chris himself had nothing bad to say about her.

sometimes, the way he would talk about her if asked, it made you think that maybe there was still some lingering feelings floating about. and it didn’t help that the two of you had been having issues communicating things properly for the last few weeks, and for chris to go ghost at this party after leaving out vital information, whether intentionally or not, it set you off. and it hurt you. so when he came back home to an empty bed, he was confused. instead of replying back to your clearly upset texts, he made his way to your place, and let himself in with the spare key that you had gifted him on your seven month anniversary. as he found you curled up in bed, a stoic look on your face, he couldn’t help but scoff to himself.

“so instead of talking adults, you decided to just fuck off and not let me know?” he spits, his arms crossed as he leans against your door framed, sighing as your gaze on your tv had reminded unwavering as you shrugged.

“you didn’t tell me who threw that party, so i didn’t tell you where i was going and clearly it didn’t cause you much trouble because you found me.”

“so that’s what this hissy fit is about?”

“oh my god chris, if you’re going to act like this, please just leave. we’ll talk when we��re not angry with one another.”

“no y/n, we’re going to talk about it now. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you that she was throwing the party, but honestly i didn’t think it mattered because she doesn’t matter anymore and i didn’t want you to overthink anything.” he sighs as he sits on your bed, his head in hands as you cross your arms.

“chris have you ever stopped to try and think about why i would overthink about that shit? have you heard the way you and everyone else talk about her? it’s like she hung the fucking moon! i know you’re with me but feelings don’t just disappear when you snap your fingers. everyone talks about how good she was for you and to you, i feel like i can’t compete with that. it makes me sick to think of you around her because she’s set this standard and i don’t know if i measure up to it. and i get scared that i’m not enough and that you’ll find your way back to her because of it.” i love you so unbelievably much, and i just want to be good for you and to you.” you vent, your voice starting out strong and dignified, but just like your guard, it slowly crumbles and depletes into nothing but a scary, shaky whisper of vulnerability. you’re baring your soul, and it terrifies you as you turn your back to him, trying to form some sort of shield to save yourself from the raw emotion of the topic at hand.

chris lifts himself off the bed, sitting himself on knees in front of you with his hands wrapping behind your knees, anchoring you in place so that you have no choice but to look at him, unable to hide from the truth to what he says that shows in his eyes,

“baby, you are everything i want and more. i don’t give a fuck about her, not in the ways that matter. i come home to you every night and i want it to stay like that, i left the party because i missed you. i came back because things have been so rocky between us and i knew something was up, and i knew that i had been wrong to hide that she was throwing the party from you. i chose you tonight, and i’ll do it for the rest of my life. i’m sorry that i made you feel like this, and i understand what my actions did, and i’m sorry for that too. i love you, okay?”

“okay, i love you too.”

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut

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belong2human-kind · 8 months

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Hey guys, Clara here!! How are you??

I'm here to talk about something more serious right now. But don't worry!

As someone who is deeply in love with the SW Rebels saga since even before the first airing and someone who has accompanied all of the development of this amazing expansion of the Star Wars' universe, I want to say that this is one of the most diverse community I've met, and this makes me really happy about how so many different beings share the same interest and passion for this show as I do 🧡

So.. my profile won't lie huh? I'm down for a ship of this show so so bad, and if you, person on the other side reading this, still don't know what I'm talking about, let me tell you: I'm a biig sabezra shipper and fan! Since the first time I saw these two interact, I feel in love with their dynamics. And as the show continued, the sentiment that they could be one of the healthiest pairings of the entire saga only grew more. I love both characters individually, Ezra and Sabine, and also love them as a couple.

Joining tumblr and being active here about them, I entered the community and even dared to share my weird thoughts and stuff and own creations about this universe I love so much. I was so so so motivated by amazing people who gave me support to show my little creations, and I made truly wonderful friends here on the ship community that I'll cary for life. I won't lie that I am very eager about this ship so whoever I see engaging in Sabezra, I tend to follow XD (I hope this isn't too weird heh ^^)

I'm here to talk about two things.

1. I am very thankful for the friends I've made on the ship community and the series community as a whole too. Also, the majority of people I interact with are absurdly amazing, kind and sweet, and as I said, it's really touching and heartwarming to me to know that such a different and diverse community is united by one specific passion about SW. You guys are amazing, stay awesome 🧡💜

2. This being said, unfortunately, things can get a little heated up about some topics, specifically the ones involving pairings. So, I'm here to talk/ask, all of the people who, like me, are part of this community, to just remember that, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter who you support your character with or without: we are still united by the same interest, this one being the love for those characters with such deep, unique and touching stories.

The Ghost Crew is a family, and we, the fandom, are kinda like a big one too. So what I'm here to ask is: Hey, be kind to each other 🌻 Different opinions exist, but this is not only fine, this is amazing. It'd be boring if everyone on earth loved Rebels or even my favorite ship, sabezra, because if everyone did then it wouldn't be something so unique and especial, and it is. As I said before, this community is so diverse! We can enjoy different things, we actually should do that! But, by the end of the day, we're just a bunch of people who love star wars. I think we can all agree on that ^^

That being said, I also apologize. I try to not engage with any hate spreading messages, and I know that there are quite a few here on both the shipping communities and the entire community too. Nothing can really justify being mean to someone (at least that's what I believe and try to hold myself on) but I know that we never know what's really happening behind the screen for someone, even if they share. Life can be tough, I know this myself. So I apologize for all of my friends and community colleagues that might have hurt on others, and also, apologize on myself as well if I did let this happen too. As much as I try always being kind, I'm still a human, with ups and downs and one that can make some mistakes too. I try my best to make people around me (physically and virtually) to feel comfortable and embraced because I think everyone deserves that. But at the same time, we can hurt people intentionally and unintentionally so easily :( So yeah, I apologize for that. And I hope we can interact with each other with kindness and respect. I think this is one of the most important things to do as a human: be gentle to others and the nature around you.

Uhh I speak so much :'n It's 2am now and I have class tomorrow, my adhd brain is still running on circles on my head LOL so I'll be off for now. Keep awesome guys! And stay safe 🌻

#about sabezra #sabezra #star wars ships #sabine wren #ezra bridger #be kind #i hope things get better soon #i hope we can all enjoy our shared interest with kindness and respect for each other!#stay awesome guys 🌻

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the-ellia-west · 3 months

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Scarlet and cherry for the red questions thing! Sorry is you answered them already

SCARLET - How do they grieve?

CHERRY - Why did you create them?

Ooh! These will be fun! Thank you so much for the Ask @darkandstormydolls

I haven't answered these yet! Thx for asking!

For how they grieve! You'll actually get to see many of these processes in the actual books!

Marril - He files away his emotions and beats himself and other things up about it, shoving his anger down until it all gets to be too much and he explodes, which happens quite a bit with characters in story. He gets super mad. Probably breaks something, hurts someone, or shouts at someone and then starts crying his mentality is: if I'm not dead I'm fine

Shyre - She cries a lot and runs to her family and friends for comfort, trying to get through it by therapy and love, it works best for her. Her mentality is: Loved ones come first

Sokuna - She lashes out at anything she can without hurting her family or friends. She holds them close and plans vengeance. Her mentality is: My faughter's safety comes before anything

Viasaki - He isolates himself and throws himself into his work, losing himself in it because he can't think if his mind is occupied with other things. His mentality is: Work and loyalty are the only things that matter

Kila - She lashes out at everything, violence, arguments, breakdowns, bargaining, denial, anger. Her mentality is: It can't hurt me if I kill it first

Kasi - She isolates herself and watches others from afar, going to people who she trusts but doesn't know very well for help so that she won't hurt anyone she loves with her grief. Her mentality is: If I can protect them, not matter what, I will

Chrin - He keeps how hurt he truly is. But talks though things with people he trusts and paints a better future in his head with his visions, showing how he can't always stay in the past. His mentality is: If there's a better future for them, I will find it

Xhaazi - Just like Marril, he internalizes everything, not trusting people enough to let them know he's hurt. He argues with people and that's how he relieves that anger, in slower, more controlled portions so it doesn't overflow. His mentality is: If Kasi's fine, so am I

Now how I created them?

This one's fun.

Kasi: I made her as a model main character, planning to add other things to make her less stereotypical, but I got lazy and was like: I like stereotypes most times, why not have a stereotypical hero?

Marril: I wanted an antihero/antagonist who was a sassy Assassin who eventually ends up helping the protagonists, unintentionally or intentionally. Inspired by several other fictional Assassins

After That Chrin was next: A lot of heroes in media have a best friend, and for my anger issues and distrust riddled protagonist I needed a sunny foil, so Chrin was born, though him being a seer was a later addition

Viasaki came soon after: I needed a real villain of high rank with some drama, how about voices in his head? Why not? Why not make him good cop?

Kila and Viasaki were a pair: because who can have a good cop without a bad one? She's temperamental and moody, and she hates him.

After that, Mouse: I actually made her before Sokuna and Reon because we need a good shade. She was originally a sidekick to the third missing protagonist who I scrapped. But I liked Mouse so I kept her

Sokuna: She was originally a background character just to explain who Mouse's parents were, but I wrote her and Reon in one fight scene and I knew I had to make them important, then I decided to separate them >:]

Xhaazi: He was the replacement for the missing 3rd protagonist, and Kasi didn't feel like an only child to me. Then came the genius. What about cursed twins? So I gave Kasi a prankster twin brother.

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wineloversanonymous · 2 years

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When It Doesn't Feel Like Enough

Do you ever lay in bed and wonder what it is all for? Have a crisis of faith in humanity or that you have the ability to make even the slightest bit of difference in this world? Everything has changed in the last few years. We have dealt with such heavy issues in the midst of an ever changing landscape of what life looks like. I have felt that I have had to deeply examine so many more things about myself and those I surround myself with than ever before.

We have been conditioned to aim for the perfect job, the perfect family, the perfect home, and basically the perfect life. But what does perfect even mean? Does it mean that you must be happy at all costs? Or is that you must be perceived to others as happy? I don’t know about you, but happy has turned into a strange concept to me. I would love to reach that goal of happy, but I feel like the journey there has changed. The journey includes feeling all the emotions and dealing with the various traumas, joys, and confusion that you have lived through thus far.

When you have lived through a various amount of experiences, both good and bad, you can learn to compartmentalize to survive. Survival can lead to building walls for protection and a hyper-independence that is never meant to be held onto long-term. The problem that arises with these survival techniques is that they can be hard to let go. It can feel like falling from a sky high building with no safety net below other than a trust in your fellow human beings. The unfortunate thing is that human beings are fallible, which leads to trusting imperfect people who will hurt you whether intentionally or unintentionally. Healing from this hurt is incredibly hard because you must open yourself back up to the possibility of being hurt again.

You consistently work so hard at healing, at being a good and quality person, and battle to fight any and all insecurities on a daily basis. There are going to be days that you win those battles and feel like the confident, bad-ass, amazing person that you are. Then there are days where you feel like nothing you do is appreciated, that you have failed at everything, and that the karmic world is out to get you. On the days that you lose this battle and all you can do is lie down and keep breathing, I hope that you know that you are not alone.

Life is not about perfection nor is it about being happy all the time. Life is what you make it. It is going to be filled full of memories, both of complete joy and utter pain. Of laughter that made your belly hurt and of tears that made you think you would never smile again. But through it all you will find out so much about yourself and the best thing about that is that it is always changing. You continue to grow, adapt, and build the world around you. You will find out that you are stronger than you think, but that you also cannot bear the weight of the world alone. You will learn to surround yourself with people who appreciate you for exactly who you are and will continue to encourage you through the ups and downs of life. You will differentiate the times to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and the times that you need to set your boundaries to align with your needs. You will become strong in loving the time you spend alone and building the relationship with yourself while simultaneously striving to not shut yourself away when the world feels dark.

I want to believe in the ultimate good of humanity and people. I want to live a life that feels like there is an opportunity to make a ripple effect in this world, no matter how much that can feel impossible at times. However, I want to also allow the feeling of hopelessness that can happen in moments because I am human and am incapable of perfection. Life is going to throw everything it has at you, but it is your job to know what you need to fight through it all. It will absolutely look different each and every day, but my ultimate hope is that despite the ups and downs that you see yourself in the best possible light. You are your longest and closest relationship. Please do not ever stop believing in yourself and your ability to make a difference in whatever way that you impact others and the world as a whole.

Much love, especially if you need extra today.

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 2 years

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Is it okay to ask you questions about leech in the rain? I know it's cowriten (I think?) feel free to ignore if not and sorry if so. Why did the tribe exile Jacob? I mean, if I remember correctly, there was already a shapeshipster in love with a child, and it's not like a woman hasn't been attacked before, additionally in the last chapter it was confirmed that she was hurt when she refused her imprinted's advances so, is Jacob's behavior (terrible yes I know) not.... Normal? For them at least? To my eyes it just feels like they are all equally morally reprehensible (except for the fucking Bella because she looks like her daughter, what in the actual fuck).

On that same note, in what world does Bella live? And can I get the coordinates so I can go there myself and hit her with some truths (and a baseball)? I love you guys' fanfic so much, it's killing me and I love it.

Anon is referring to Leech in the Rain, a fic by myself and @therealvinelle. A post explaining how the wolves could leave Jacob.

First, look @therealvinelle, praise!

What's Up with Jacob

It's a little different than what's been happening with Quil.

No one's happy about Quil, at all, but they're trying to work with it. He's limited to seeing her only once a week and in the capacity of a babysitter. We're presuming in this story that he never tries to see her more often as she grows older, he's a fairly distant figure now that she's in elementary school, and that there are very clear boundaries.

Jacob... never did that even from the little we see in Breaking Dawn.

Day one, he's over at the Cullens non-stop and even telling Bella when she can and cannot see her daughter. He doesn't live at their house but it's a pretty close thing and he's spending A LOT of time with Renesmee.

In @therealvinelle's fic Bleach on the Brain, this persists as Renesmee has grown into what her species is adulthood and he's making it very clear that he intends to make advances on her sexually when she's deemed ready, probably by Edward or the moment she turns seven.

Already we're in a very different world than Quil that has made Leah, Seth, Quil, and Embry deeply uncomfortable.

Still, there was no helping it and all of them knew that. The only thing they can do as shifters is make the best of these potential situations and if the Cullens see nothing wrong then surely they're also blowing it out of proportion and it's not as bad as it seems.

Well then they have an interesting day.

They learn that Jake has intentionally mauled his imprint, a little girl no matter how old she looks, so as to prevent her from escaping him. Sam unintentionally mauled Emily, but the key word there was that it was an accident.

What Jake did, and presumably accidentally revealed off screen via shifting, was that his was... not accidental and that he had intended to hold her hostage in La Push.

Not only has what Jake done is terrible and against what they stand for but he's actively putting the tribe at risk just to get what he wants. By attacking Renesmee and kidnapping her to tribal territory, he's breaking the treaty in the most flagrant way he can and sparking a war (as presumably the Cullens will come to take her back).

Then Jacob starts demanding they go after the escaped Cullens with Renesmee to kidnap her back to La Push (again, treaty issues there), and oh by the way they're going to have to confront the king of the vampires to do this.

This is not the same as what happened last time, where the Volturi were coming very close to La Push territory and threatening their people, and where they were all but assured this wasn't a fight.

The person the tribe originally made the treaty with is gone leaving Edward Cullen as their presumed leader. And Jacob wants to drag them to Africa where they may all very well be killed and leave their land defenseless just so he can get back Renesmee who it seemed like did not want anything to do with him.

Jacob does not back down and effectively leaves the other wolves, and the tribe itself, no choice but to excommunicate him and deny him all resources to enact any of this.

But yes, that's the reasoning of why Sam and Quil are cool but Jake is suddenly not.

What World Does Bella Live In?

Planet Bella, a place made of doublethink.

To explain what's up with Bella a little, she's one of the characters who has the least information (tied, perhaps, with poor clueless Emmett) and has made up her mind based on the information she has and those things she absolutely cannot lose faith in.

She wasn't there for Carlisle's initial attempts to use medical equipment to save Renesmee's life and believes he started in on the venom. Given the nature of how it was deployed, and how much time he'd been spending with her, and how Renesmee had changed during the past week, and what Jacob was telling her, she believes this was sexual in nature.

Carlisle then tells her that Edward's face is burning in the living room.

To Bella, Carlisle looks far more unhinged than Edward, as this strange story of Edward suddenly sexually assaulting Carlisle, conveniently while Jacob is out randomly mauling his imprint in the woods, is unbelievable to her.

She believes that what Jake did had to be an accident or at least not intended to hurt her (as he can't hurt her, she's his imprint) and that Carlisle is trying to manipulate the entire family and that he's just a deranged lunatic.

Now, of course, much of this is supported on Bella's desperate need for her marriage with Edward and her friendship with Jacob to work, but to be fair she wasn't around for most of it and this all sounds messed up from every angle.

Her perfect family fell apart in a week. SOMEBODY'S GOT TO BE RESPONSIBLE.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #bleach on the brain #leech in the rain #jacob black #twilight quileute #sam uley #quil atera #renesmee cullen #emily young #claire young #bella swan #meta #opinion #whocares-idont

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lunaastoir · 3 years

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HI! FOR YOUR EVENT, nay i request 16 + zhongli+ angst?

--> zhongli + "really? you’re going to pick them over me?” + angst

a/n: i literally love you for this request anon :,) i've been wanting to write some good old fashioned angst so <3 thank you

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looking at the rushed, frenzied state you were in, one could assume you were late for something, or rather, rushing to get away. deft hands that were once so gentle with love began packing up clothes, weapons, and various other trinkets into the folds of your bag, stuffing each item with no real care. you glanced at the oval clock, mentally noting the time. hands automatically packed faster, before you forced yourself to slow down. “he probably hasn’t noticed the time anyway” you bit out, bitter words tumbling past your lips.

taking one last quick glance around your shared bedroom, you loaded up your bag on your shoulder and made your way to yujing terrace, sitting on the same corner you had been waiting on for over two hours.

madame ping offered you a sad smile upon your coming back, her gaze all too knowing about the purposes of your too full bag. she wished she could say something, give you a tangible reason for her old friend’s most recent absence, but she knew no excuse could ever fully heal the heartache of being forgotten.

as minutes cascaded into hours, the sky blossomed into a navy blue, the only sign of your presence marked by the silent tears running down your face, illuminated by the lights of dimly lit stores. madame ping kept you company, feigning tending after flowers in favor of looking after you, willing to give you a place to stay should you need one.

at the sound of swift footsteps you wiped your eyes, the last thing you were going to look like was broken, no matter how much you truly were inside.

zhongli’s concerned face entered your line of vision and you sat up straighter, gripping the strings of your bag tighter. he slowed down to a stop a few feet away from you, almost as if he could sense that the last thing you wanted was to be close to him. fresh tears threatened to drip down your cheeks as you wobbly stood up, knees weak from waiting for so long.

he took a few experimental steps towards you, his hand reached out to quietly brush a few stray tears. feet moved away from him, stepping back out of arms reach. his hand fell limply.

“i’m so sorry, my dear” he whispered. his heart constricted at the sight of your teary face and red lips.

perhaps he knew internally that this time was different; that maybe this time his failure to check the clock and instead get lost in conversation with his colleague would be the last straw.

“you were supposed to be here 3 hours ago”

your head was turned away from him; you could never stay mad for long despite the amount of betrayal coursing through your veins. well aware were you that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, then why, oh why, did this hurt so bad?

“i know, i...i truly apologize, i was helping my new colleague learn the history behind liyue harbor and i lost track of time”

“this was a rescheduled date zhongli. we haven’t seen each other properly in three weeks. your colleague has been taking up all of your time” you bit out, waves of jealousy rising through your chest unintentionally at the mere mention of his colleague.

“darling, it’s my duty as a consultant to share my knowledge with people. i can’t refuse their questions”

“really? you’re going to pick them over me?”

you fought to keep the anger out of your voice while frustration seeped through the broken crevices of your words. anger at his colleague yes, but more potently, frustration at zhongli for being unable to recognize people’s advances towards him under the pretense of “education.”

your anger felt out of place under the soft gaze of his amber eyes, and you looked away, feeling unusually small. the strings of your bag under your hands roughly ground against your palms, anchoring you to the real reason you waited.

zhongli sighed softly, trying his best to make you understand. your anger was warranted he decided, yet he needed you to know that you were the only one he would ever love.

“of course not, they’re just a friend. however, it seems i have made you more upset than i had intended. is there anything i can do to make it up to you?”

he fought to make eye contact with you, praying you would be able to read the sincerity behind his molten eyes.

you shook your head, carefully balancing your bag on your shoulder.

“i’m leaving.”

zhongli’s head immediately shot up, eyes wide, and mouth opening to interject.

you held your hand up, silently asking him to wait.

“i’m not leaving for good, i’m just... setting off on my commission a little earlier than intended. i think an adventure by myself is long overdue and maybe when i get back, we...we can work things out”

you looked off to the side, knowing full well you were simply running away from your problems. internally you were aware of how displeased zhongli most likely was, knowing he preferred to work problems out as they arise, keeping your relationship healthy.

however you didn’t want to, at least not right now. the frustration and hurt was still fresh in your mind, no matter how well intentioned you knew zhongli to be. a simple conversation along with a few apologies wouldn’t quell your aching heart. you needed to soothe it yourself and setting off on your commission two days earlier would kickstart the healing.

zhongli bowed his head politely.

“if that is what you wish, then i agree. i will wait for your return.”

his heart clenched painfully as the worst case scenarios flashed through his mind. perhaps this was it, the final curtain call on your time together. perhaps this was the final chapter to your beautiful story. either way, he let himself hope as you allowed him to reach you, his lips brushing a gentle kiss on your forehead as he murmured a, “stay safe” into your skin.

as he watched you walk away, with your bag slung over your shoulder packed with too many things, he hoped that you would come back.

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#ngl it was really hard to write angst for zhongli bc hes so #NICE???#and perfect???#i hope this was ok tho LMAOO #zhongli x reader #zhongli #genshin zhongli x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin imagines #zhongli x you #zhongli x y/n

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myonepiece · 3 years

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Hiya! I hope your days have been well and that you’re being safe 💖 I’ve had a really...really bad day these oadt few days and I saw that your writing was open and um- I was wondering, if it’s alright, that you could do a h/c with Shanks, Ace, & Law with an S/O who is consistently (but not intentionally) clumsy and has the worst luck, and they try their best to make sure not to get into the crew’s way cause they know they they’re gonna mess it up for everyone?? I hope it’s not too specific but not too vague as well. Please have a lovely day 🥺💖 (and if you’re wondering...I spilled tea over my laptop and litterally left me in shambles (no pun intended))

Shanks, Ace, Law with an S/O who is unintentionally clumsy

Shanks x Reader, Ace x Reader, Law x Reader

Description: Shanks, Ace, & Law (seperate) HCs with an S/O who is unintentionally clumsy and unlucky, always trying to stay out of everyone’s way

Warnings: none

A/N: I’m so sorry you’ve been having a bad day :( I tried to get this out asap 💕 I hope tomorrow is better 💐 (also that sucks about your laptop 🙁)

Shanks can actually be pretty clumsy himself, I mean with one arm and all bell occasionally drop something of forget he only has one arm when he tries to grab something to steady himself- then he ends up falling

he thinks your clumsiness is amusing (only when it doesn’t result in you getting seriously hurt), he’ll often tease you about it, but he does know limits and when he sees you actually get hurt by his words he stops right away and brings up something embarrassing about his crew or sometimes himself

he does like to keep an eye on you, especially on rough terrain, in crowds, or when the races are rough/storms. he uses your clumsiness as an excuse to hold you more, telling you he’s only holding onto you so tightly in case you fall, always pulling you into him and blaming it on you almost tripping over something (he just wanted a hug)

his reaction to your awful luck is the same as to your general incoordination, except with less teasing. he can’t exactly stop you from experiencing bad luck, but he’s there to cheer you up, sometimes doing something to himself on purpose and blaming it on his own bad luck

he’s the type to find any kind of lucky charm snd give it to you, he’s even made one himself- you (and him) like to think it works

he doesn’t like that you try to stay away from the crew, him included, he understands why you do it but he thinks it’s sort of foolish- your clumsiness and unfortunate luck doesn’t seem to be rubbing off on any of the crew and he tries to assure you that it’s completely okay to be around them

the crew doesn’t seem irritated by your actions either, not just because their Captain has warned them against being rude about it, but because they knows it’s not your fault and they can handle themselves anyway

never once has he seriously judged you or bullied you about your unhelpful quirks, he’s incredibly supportive and uplifting, he always has a funny story about someone else’s stumbles to tell you when you feel bad (it makes him laugh as well)

very similar to Shanks

he is also quite clumsy, and he has no shame in it so he doesn’t see why you do. he thinks it’s cute and funny and when you stumble or fall- as long as you aren’t hurt- and after he has a little chuckle he runs right over to pick you up and check if you’re okay

he insists on holding your hand and carrying you everywhere (and he won’t let you say no just because you think he’ll be affected by your bad luck)

one of his nicknames for you is “clumsy” but he always says it lovingly or in a joking manner, snd he’s more than ready to yell at anyone who actually teases you (with ill-intent)

he laughs at your bad luck as well, but he assures you it’s just natural and nothing to be ashamed of- some of the crew members don’t have the best luck either and he makes sure to tell you stories about their similar incidents

he doesn’t understand why you avoid the crew and him when they’re working or all together, you have to explain it to him and even then he doesn’t really understand and tells you not to worry because the crew doesn’t have any problems with you or your unluckiness/clumsiness

lots of feel-better cuddles where he just attatched himself to you and whispers about how amazing and perfect you are (this man uses every fall of yours as an excuse to kiss you and carry you and hug you, and don’t try to run from his affection because he will find you- that’s a threat)

probably the only one to get a bit irritated by your clumsiness, but when it happens, and that’s rarely, it’s only the slightest bit- he doesn’t blame you for knocking over anything of his and he can immediately tell your self-conscious about your fumbles

he bluntly assures you however many times you need that there’s nothing wrong with you and you don’t need to worry about getting in his way because you’re more important than whatever he’s doing (that last part he doesn’t say out loud)

the whole crew holds nothing against you, especially because they’re clumsy themselves, but they all keep an eye on you per Law’s request

Law’s medical knowledge comes in handy with you always slipping and hurting yourself, he’ll scold you while he bandages you up but he makes sure you know that he’s not mad or annoyed- he always has bandages and ointment somewhere in his pocket(s) just in case you hurt yourself

he fins your extremely bad luck peculiar, he knows he nor you can’t do anything and/so obviously he doesn’t hold it against you or tease you (unlike Ace and Shanks)

he’ll true to offer help or simply a hug when you feel down about your luck, but don’t try to distance yourself from him and/or his crew just because you think they’ll get hurt because of you- that’s when Law gets annoyed

he knows bad luck doesn’t transfer or rub off on other people and he assures you that over and over again

he doesn’t really pay much attention to your constant accidents unless you get hurt, he just views them as normal no matter how often they happen- because he knows it’s normal

#one piece #one piece headcanons #trafalgar law headcanons #one piece law #law headcanons #one piece ace headcanons #ace headcanons #one piece ace #portgas d. ace #ace imagine #trafalgar law imagine #one piece shanks #shanks imagine #shanks headcanons #shanks

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hanibalistic · 3 years

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#890E0A | LEE MINHO.

genre | faint angst, platonic relationship, fluff

word count | 1641

warning | brief mention of toxic friendships, anger directed at oneself

note | for a good friend of mine who won’t see this, and perhaps for all the angry and neglected souls out there, i wish you great joy soon.

minho slid a piece of paper over to you when he plopped down on his seat. you glared at it, and then up at him, and you scoffed when you saw him busying himself with the container filled with colored markers.

oh, hell, he better not have dragged you out of your one-minute meditation—which was hardly meditation at all, you were simply containing the fustration your research paper was causing you—just to have a drawing session with neon-colored markers.

"why the fuck am i here?" you asked, leaning back against the chair and sighing in annoyance.

"hey," he eyed you sharply, "mind your language."

"you upset me," you said, disregarding his warning but taking it into account anyway. "you pulled me out of studying during finals week, and you have upset me. give me a reason why i should mind my language?"

he arched his brows, slightly annoyed but understanding and sympathetic enough of your situation to not throw flames at you for being rather disrespectful. he knew you would come around when all was said and done, and you would eventually make it up to him with a grumble of apology that was just genuine enough you wouldn't need to buy him an extra cup of coffee to make him feel better.

"how are your classes?" he asked instead, diverting the conversation as he picked out the bright colors within the rainbow of options and slowly set them out before him. "are you doing good in school so far?"

you pursed your lips together, feeling icky that he was asking about your business despite you hinting so many times that you were stressed about school and the upcoming exams. perhaps you felt bitter that he was the only person who decided to reach out and ask, that he was the only one who caught onto your subtle hints, while still feeling touched that... well, he was the only person who reached out to you and asked.

it has been an on-going war with yourself—you didn't want to like minho, he was obnoxious and honest. but he was also caring, understanding, fierce, and peculiarly tolerant. you should have scared him away by now, or at least gotten him angry with your seasonally terrible behavior, but he was still here, after years.

somewhere down the line, you realized, whether you like it or not, minho was your kind of people and he was not someone you should want to let go of at all.

"it's going good so far. i am not very confident in how i would do but you know me," you smiled a little, "i always end up with a good grade."

he huffed out a smile, his lips quirking up. after finally collecting all the bright colored pencils, he looked at you and reached over, dropping them on your paper. returning to his seat, he motioned toward the pencils and spoke, "you want to draw?"

"no," you immediately replied. "you really dragged me out here to do this stupid shit? when i have an exam coming up?"

"how many times do you think you can pull the exam card before i get tired of you?" he asked, grinning at you with a sense of mockery that let you know he, again, was not very happy with your tone.

"about five times ago," you said boldly, staring straight at him with a face of blank expression yet your heart beat rapidly.

you never stop. you were afraid, always, that this would be the last staw you could pull, that this would be the last of his nerve you could step on, that this would be it. you waited for him to yell at you, you waited for him to cuss and scoff at you, you waited for the scolding to happen—and it does happen, rightfully so, but it was gentle.

minho has never scolded you in a way that made you feel inferior, in a way that feigned understanding, in a way that made you feel as if your feelings didn't matter at the expense of another.

because you do matter to him, a lot. and he would hate to have you feel like your feelings have been neglected over his need to correct your misplaced anger, whether it was of the world or yourself.

"are you angry?" he asked, tilting his head and arching a brow. "do you feel like everyone is against you?"

you looked up at him, gulping down a lump of saliva. and you muttered, "not angry, just dissatisfied... and lonely... and stressed."

he hummed, his eyes softening. "why?"

"i feel neglected, like i don't belong," you said. "and it was my fault. i think the problem is me, but i hate that i am the problem because i–"

you wanted so badly to find people you could be yourself with, unconditionally, enduringly. put aside affection and love, you wanted resonance, compassion, tolerance. but you were so scared you wouldn't be able to do so that you forced yourself to stay with those you were with right now, to be okay with what you have right now, even though those were not the right things for you.

and it broke you.

it completely tore you down, like water to fire, fire to earth, like light to shadow, shadow to bones. it broke you, made you angry, made you sad, made you snap. like a child yelling at their parents after they felt as if they have been wronged. it made you hurtful, so hurtful, and everyone blamed you for the damage others have put upon you.

"pick up the red marker," minho said after your sudden pause. "i find it helpful with releasing anger."

you clicked your tongue and rolled your eyes, looking away to hide the incoming tears you refused to let fall. "what the hell am i supposed to draw?"

"oh, i don't know," he replied casually, picking up a marker and begun doodling on the paper he prepared for himself. "what does your anger look like today?"

you clenched your jaw. "i'm not angry."

"oh, but i think you should be," he said. "rightfully so, as well, with friends like yours."

you opened your mouth, and then you closed it. after a moment of thought, happy memories flashing before your head causing your heart a moment of wavering weakness, you licked your lower lip and defended, "they're not... they're not bad people."

"yet they make you hate yourself, they make you feel like you have no place with them," he said, focusing on his paper. "they make you feel as if you don't matter, and you are only there to be funny before they forget about you."

you clenched your grip on the marker—he was spot-on.

"they're not bad people. they're friendly, they're good, and you loved them. but, unfortunately, they are not your kind of people," he said, and he finally looked at you. "and that makes you irretrievably upset, because you don't want to hate them yet again and again–"

"i can't help but dislike them all," you finished the sentence for him before taking in a shuddering breath.

"and that's okay," he muttered, "being angry is okay."

you are young, and emotional, and sad, and annoyed, and giddy. the range of emotion you could feel, the spectrum of colors you could experience according to what you do, what you like, the people you are with—your choices, your words, your mistakes, your beautiful, beautiful mind.

you will hurt people, intentionally and unintentionally. you will make people love, intentionally and unintentionally. you will apologize, you will express gratitude, you will sing and dance, and you will find your people, your person.

"be angry, and let it teach you a thing or two," he said. "just don't put it on jisung next time, okay? he's fragile, and he cares about you enough to feel upset that you, out of all people, said those things to him."

your heart thumped. until the last moment, still, he cared about you more than your words. and that would be what makes your apology genuine; not out of obligation, but out of a need, for both of your sake.

"i always apologize at the end, you don't have to remind me," you said. "i knew i was being a piece of shit."

"being self-aware is good, but it is not enough," minho said. "try doing something else next time, alright?"

you nodded quietly, your eyes moving from your paper to his face. he was so nonchalant, as he always has been. you never felt pressured by him, he lets you take it all in at your own pace, and he would always make sure he gets his point across.

"minho," you called then, and you only spoke when he looked over at you. "you know i only listen to you because i never felt like you have wronged me, right?"

his lectures, his scolding—you willingly accepted them because he has no record of making you feel disregarded and expendable, he has never made you feel like you had to be annoying to get attention, and he reached out unprovoked.

and he was your kind of people. and his kindness was not for a public show and tell.

pursing his lips into a kind smile, one that you felt as if you were undeserving of, he said, "thank you."

and he picked up his paper. you squinted your eyes at it, seeing that there were a tree and a cat next to it. it was an ugly drawing, but it was very much like him to draw something like this.

"my anger today is green and yellow," he said. "and yours?"

you sat up and took a look at the markers. licking your lips, you picked up a red marker and smiled at him, genuinely.

"i am thinking red."

minho nodded in approval.

an excellent choice.

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kitkatopinions · 3 years

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I’m probably over thinking/over complicating things but Ironwood and Penny have been really bothering me. It because prior to the moment that destroyed Penny’s arc the show and Ruby were really pushing that Penny not matter her body was human and that’s a very positive I like that especially when it comes to characters of Penny’s nature.

So my problem kicks in when I think of Ironwood. Namely this part in his song:

“What if it's true as they say

That I don't have a heart

That I'm more a machine than a man?”

Like wtf. I mean I “get it” especially with that dumbass line of Winter. But when it’s talked about Ironwood it was always in reference to the fact that his body is half robotic and there for we are meant to see the correlation between his body and his character.?

Put next to Penny’s message that really bothers me. Even more so since Penny gets a “reward” of becoming human, but the writers push that Ironwood sacrificing his arm to stop Watts and replacing it (a medical decision that could be debated given that he wanted to be up and able immediately to handle things not to mention that fact that nerves and muscle are severely fucked up) with a new (uncharacteristically uncovered) prosthetic means that he’s moving away from humanity. This thought has been driving nuts for a week.

I don’t think you’re overthinking at all. The writers have been pretty blatant about what they think of disabled people.

On the topic of James, 1. They wrote their triple amputee character to be coded as losing his humanity. This is suspect from the get go, but writers imo need to be especially careful and sensitive when they display things like villains with prosthetics. CRWBY is not careful and sensitive. 2. They specifically connected the loss of his limb to the loss of his humanity outside of the show, and as you said, his new prosthetic is uncharacteristically uncovered as well, and there were some pointed shots showcasing his arm and emphasizing it before showing Ironwood doing something wrong as well as a shot that particularly bothered me of them having James fall to Winter when his aura broke and then them immediately flashing to a fallen, broken robotic soldier. Tying the loss of someone’s humanity to them losing a limb / gaining a prosthetic in any way is wrong imo. There are better ways to display someone’s loss of humanity than villainizing the loss of his arm, and I don’t care what justifications people have for ‘they just meant to say that he was too impatient to-’ Idc. Tying the loss of humanity to the gaining of a prosthetic is wrong. 3. They never once treated Ironwood’s clear PTSD, history of mental health problems, and trauma with any sympathy, instead spending their time ragging on him for not wanting to feel his pain anymore and condemning him for... Trying to control his emotions. 4. CRWBY also gave him a semblance and explained how it worked by saying he hyper focused, talking about how James’ passive semblance that he can’t control forces him to focus on one single goal and fixate. I’m not disabled, but I do hyper fixate. It’s not something I can control, and to see it used as a justification for evil (in one of my favorite characters in the series who reminded me of my father lol) and being treated as something bad... It doesn’t feel good. I can’t imagine how other people must feel who are much more affected by this than I am. 5. As you say, the writers go out of their way to reference his metal body as being more ‘machine than man’ and make lines about him being heartless. And yeah, I get that he’s an allegory for the ‘Tin Man’ from Wizard of Oz but ffs the Tin Man had always had a heart and I honestly thought that was what they were going for in V3 with Qrow commenting that sometimes he thought James didn’t have a heart and the audience seeing Ironwood’s actions as questionable, only for the entire show to tell us repeatedly that he actually is a caring and good person who’s willing to destroy all the forces he was proud to show off if it means saving lives and was actually pretty freaking blameless in the Fall of Beacon and was super kind to the kids and when the chips were down, Qrow and Glynda both absolutely knew without even questioning that James would never ever willingly hurt the world or fully betray them and had absolutely no hand in the Beacon attack. Like, I’m sorry, but between Penny and Ironwood, season eight is the season of taking well done character allusions and throwing them out the window for the exact opposite moral done incredibly poorly. And anyway, getting off of that rant, making a ‘more machine than man’ sentiment tied around a triple amputee character is incredibly harmful and hurtful to people with disabilities and only propagates the real world stereotypes against people like James.

So, yes, their treatment of Ironwood, his mental health, and specifically his disabilities was so badly done, harmful, incredibly insensitive, and frankly, appalling that it came from grown adult writers in 2019-2021! But, as you point out, it’s not just Ironwood. And here’s where things really get bad for CRWBY. Because Ironwood alone is enough for me to say they were ableist - unintentionally or otherwise - and ought to apologize for the hurt they’ve caused their fans. But when you get into the rest of their treatment of characters with metal prosthetics or non-flesh elements to their body, it becomes a pattern.

Penny’s entire body is removed from her on threat of death, with the justification that it’s hurting her and that her body is just a machine and not part of who she is, contradicting Penny’s earlier themes of self-acceptance and validating her humanity in the body she already had. She then dies by assisted suicide in a way that feels unneeded, after having asked to be killed earlier in the narrative. So many people have talked about how destructive her story became in V8 and how it personally hurt them, especially non-binary people, trans people, autistic people, or disabled people who saw themselves in Penny or saw in her arc something that they could relate to, only to have Penny’s differences stripped away from her, having her conform to normal body standards and have her previous body type invalidated by her friends, and then they had her killed via assisted suicide in an unbelievable way, insisting as well that she never made a choice before she was a flesh-person and couldn’t feel things right. It’s all horribly done, but it’s important to remember that while Ironwood is accused of losing his humanity as he loses a third limb and gets a third prosthetic, Penny’s earlier validation is taken away and is instead only granted and she is only justified as a person when she loses all her ‘nuts and bolts’ and becomes a flesh person. And then she’s killed anyway.

Yang’s prosthetic is the least ill handled, but it is still dismissed as ‘just extra’ despite her former fairly strong arc of coming to terms with her disability and making it a part of her. She casually justifies what’s happening with Penny despite Penny not being in a position of adequate consent. Yang’s trauma and PTSD also vanished when Adam died at the end of season six and in my opinion, that situation was handled very badly.

Maria and Pietro, two other disabled characters, disappeared, left when Amity fell and were not even mentioned iirc since. Not even when Penny is awake, not even when they’re evacuating, not even when Penny is choosing to die. She never brings up her father. And Ruby’s supposed ‘mentor’ who never had an actual narrative role that couldn’t have been filled by Qrow and has had nothing to do since season six even past that is also forgotten out in the tundra and not mentioned again.

The writers go out of their way to have Winter say that because she was just following orders (a statement that contradicts her previous character imo) and pushing down her emotions, she was the real machine, whereas Penny had been human underneath her apparently easily tossed aside and destructive previous metal body. And I don’t know if this means anything, but in that scene where she and Penny meet when Penny is dying and transferring the maiden powers to Winter, Winter is in her V7 character design, instead of wearing her assistive brace. Like I said, I don’t know if I’m reading into that, but with everything else, it feels like an iffy choice.

So yeah. In the past season CRWBY specifically cultivated a pattern of disrespect, dismissal, and villainization of any non-flesh attributes in my opinion. It seems pretty intentional and clear to me, but I’m willing to accept that maybe this was just a wildly bad uneducated mistake. Here’s the thing about that, though, after the Faunus/Racism allegory, the CRWBY writers should’ve learned their lesson and not touched on any real world topics that they weren’t willing to do the research on and treat with the sensitivity and care and respect the topics needed. Their Faunus/Racism allegory was harmful and hurtful and frankly could’ve sunk them in the water, they should’ve learned to put much more care and effort into their work or stayed the hell away from anything that could further spread the negative stereotypes surrounding real world people. But they didn’t learn their lesson and they’ve continued to push harmful narratives with no awareness or sensitivity. I don’t think you’re over-reacting at all, I think this is something that - intentionally written or otherwise - the writers should be called out on, or they’re just going to continue writing harmful narratives.

Also, I am not disabled, many of my opinions on the treatment of these characters comes from posts I’ve seen from many disabled or neurodivergent RWBY fans (or former RWBY fans,) or other people more affected by these narratives - minus the thing I said about Winter appearing without her brace when she talks to Penny, as it was something I just noticed while typing out this post. Since I’m not disabled, I’m not the best person to talk about these things, so if I got anything wrong in this, anyone more affected, please know you can let me know and I can edit and fix.

#rwde #rwby bashing #anti rwby #anti crwby #anti MKEK #rwby hate #if anyone comes in the comments invalidating or justifying I'll block #pro james ironwood #pro Ironwood #ironwood defense

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first-and-last-neocount · 3 years

Text

Whumptober Day 2

So much love to @theobscurepotato and @peregrinealpha, you guys are fantastic and I really appreciate the support, it means the world to know that I’m not the only one excited for this! <3

I have no excuse for this one. Pretty sure this is the purest definition of an id fic, because it just kinda wrote itself, and when I was done and went back to read over it the front of my brain was like ‘what the hell did I just create’ and my lizard brain was purring ‘yesss, good’ like goddamn Palpatine. This is definitely not a scenario that I think would actually have happened in canon, but apparently it’s a scenario my brain wanted to play with, and I definitely do blame it on Gerald canonically having way too much fun needling Damien for no obvious reason other than for the sake of winding him up.

Much like day 1, this is right in the grey area where I wasn’t sure whether to tag it NSFW or not, but I’m erring on the side of caution because I’d rather be overly conscientious than not. I also wasn’t entirely sure how to word the content warning tags, so I tagged it for general self destructive behaviour, because uh - what Gerald is doing here is not how to have a healthy relationship, kids. This is ‘personal experience with adolescent trauma’ meets ‘horrifically bad coping mechanisms’ with a dash of ‘really really warped views on intimacy’. This is also a consent nightmare, because Damien is not aware that Gerald is intentionally provoking him. Please do not try this at home.

Day 2 - Theme Chosen: Choking

Gerald Tarrant wasn't above using deception to further his own interests, but he preferred evasion to direct falsehood, and he certainly wasn't in the business of lying to himself. Thus, he was well aware of why he was engaged in his current endeavour – that being, inciting yet another argument with his companion, intentionally goading the priest he'd spent the last few months travelling with into a heated debate over the fate of the little girl they'd unintentionally absorbed into their group after encountering the Terata. The part of his mind that was coolly analyzing his actions, though, was smaller than the part which was focusing on the argument itself.

Both of those part combined were smaller still than the part of his brain that was fixated on what the priest's hands would feel like closing around his throat.

“For the last vulking time, I am not just abandoning her!” The Knight's fraying patience finally snapped, and the bulkier man took a step toward the adept, his eyes blazing. He was only letting go this much because Jenseny was well away from the cave that was currently their refuge, gathering sticks with Hesseth to make a fire; the rakh-woman had sensed the building tension, and had deliberately taken the girl out of the way so that the two men in the group could clear the air.

“I don't care if you think it would be easier, I promised to keep her safe -”

His hands were clenched into fists at his side, the force of his indignation expressed through the whitening of his knuckles, the corded tension in his arms as he held himself back from violence. Gerald fired back a retort on autopilot during an appropriate pause in the priest's rant, his own manner cool and detached, his mask of indifference firmly in place despite his mental preoccupation. God, the strength in this man – Damien Vryce was a fighter, and the proof of that was in every line of his body, the broad stretch of his shoulders and the thick muscle that layered his naturally-sturdy frame. His hands were large and strong-boned, the skin tanned and weathered by years of travel, thickly calloused by the tug of leather reins and the hilts of weapons. Fae-augmented healing or not, if Vryce hit him, it would hurt. It would leave a mark, at least for a while.

It would feel real, in the way things rarely did now, isolated as he was by his own carefully crafted cocoon of power.

The words of a past lover drifted through his memory, that long-gone voice dripping with disgust. You're pathetic. So desperation for attention, you don't even care what it looks like. I could make you bleed and you'd say 'thank you', wouldn't you?

“Are you even listening to me?”

Gerald snapped back into the present moment fully, his unnaturally slow heartbeat accelerating a little as he registered the building fury in Vryce's voice. His lack of attention had been noticed, it seemed, and the priest's handsome face was turning an alarming shade of red as his temper swelled. Pride simmered in Gerald's chest at the reaction he'd provoked from the normally level-headed man, satisfaction slithering through his veins even as he replied in a deliberately bored tone.

“It's not as if you're saying anything you haven't said before, Reverend. Given the intensity of our pursuit, the girl would likely be safer out of our presence than in it. Regardless, though, it comes back to the same point; our goals are too important, we can't allow ourselves to be sidetracked by one insignificant chi-”

He read Vryce's intentions through the fae before it happened, the sudden resolve bleeding off the priest in an unmistakable wave of crimson, but his own surprise at finally eliciting such a concrete and visceral reaction kept Gerald from responding in time – not that he knew, necessarily, what response he might have tried to make. In a single smooth movement, the Knight grabbed Gerald's shoulder with one hand, shoving him forcefully backward while the other settled around Gerald's neck. As the Hunter's back slammed into the rough stone of the cave wall, Vryce pinned him there, leaning in as he snarled out his words in a voice gone guttural with rage.

“Don't you dare call her insignificant.”

The vitriolic reply he would have given in any other situation died unspoken as Gerald's usually turbulent mind went utterly, blissfully quiet, only a single line of thought remaining to him.

Yes. That's it. Do whatever you want. Hate me.

Hurt me.

Just don't let me go.

A dark and twisted lesson it might have been, but Gerald had learned one truth of human nature early in life, and had never forgotten it even as centuries passed. People were more than happy to lie and cheat their way through life, and would deceive you at every turn; you could so rarely be sure of where their real intentions, or attentions, might lie. They could talk, laugh, eat, fuck, and at every moment their thoughts could be elsewhere – but not when they wanted to hurt you. If they were that angry at you, no distractions existed.

Once you drove them over the edge enough to put their hands on you, you were the only thing in the world that mattered.

Gerald tipped his head back against the unyielding stone behind him, just to feel the way Vryce's hand was clenched around his neck a little better; he didn't technically need to breathe to sustain himself, but he was reeling and lightheaded nonetheless, from the heady mixture of triumph and adrenaline pumping through his veins. A sensation of mingled horror and satisfaction, so deep it made him nauseous, made him swallow reflexively against the way his mouth flooded with saliva in response – and then swallow again, when Vryce's grip tightened on his flexing throat, strengthening the whirl of emotions in his mind until Gerald felt a very real stab of fear that he might actually faint.

All of it lasted, however, for only the briefest moment.

He could see it as the Knight came to his senses; their faces were only inches apart, wide grey eyes staring into burning hazel, and he saw the exact instant that the blind haze of fury fell away and Vryce realized how far he'd lost control. A wave of horror doused the smouldering blaze in those warm green-and-brown irises, and Vryce wrenched himself away, his hands going lax and falling back to his sides as he stared at the Hunter in horror.

“I'm – I didn't mean – hell!”

Gerald drew in a ragged breath, now bracing himself against the cave wall intentionally as his head spun; there was a vague sense of loss echoing in his mind, but far louder was the roar of victory, the greedy hunger in his chest transmuted to a throb of purring satisfaction.

Yes, I can hold you, I can draw your focus, I can make you care...

Careful this time to show nothing of the emotional tempest in his mind, Gerald lifted one hand to rub lightly at his no-doubt-bruising neck, casting the Knight a sardonic glance.

“Don't flatter yourself, Reverend,” he muttered, with a icy steadiness that he most certainly did not feel. “I assure you, if I felt you posed a genuine threat, you would never have gotten that close to me. You couldn't truly hurt me if you tried.”

At least, not when I can make you look at me with that much fire in your eyes...

Vryce seemed to have registered his words as the subtle threat Gerald had meant them to be taken for, though, if the priest's thoroughly shaken expression was anything to go by. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then hesitated for a long moment, looking deeply conflicted and vaguely sick. Finally, he shook his head sharply, and bit out a curt few words.

“It won't happen again.”

With that proffered statement – surely meant to be reassuring, or perhaps pacifying, for no doubt he assumed the Hunter was furious about Vryce's presumption in laying hands on him – the priest turned and strode hastily out of the cave. Gerald stayed where he was, hands splayed out against the cold rock behind him, feeling his pulse beating forcefully in his throat as he closed his eyes.

Oh yes, it will. If that's the only way I can have your hands on me, I'll make sure it does.

#whumptober2021 #no.2 #Choking #coldfire trilogy #fic #masochism #self destructive behaviour #nsfwhump #evil is what you make of it #gerald tarrant #damien vryce #the neocount writes

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rinharu-purple · 4 years

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Mr. Love MC’s Choice: Gavin

We fellow producers all have our favorite LI in the game for whom we save our gems and dates, replay their chapters over and over again, sucking our bank accounts dry during the process. And that’s what makes this game so fun! However in my opinion MC’s personal choice is Gavin. I will try to explain it as thoroughly as possible in this post. Obviously they are only my personal opinions at the end of the day so please don’t freak out if you beg to differ ^_^

There are spoilers ahead and this post is a long one, you were warned!

A big, warm hug and grandious thanks to @smallersocksx for proof reading so fast and sharing her ideas! <3 </p>

Up until now, I’ve always analyzed ships in subtopics, so this time won’t be any different so I will just dive right into it:

Body Language

The law of attraction between two people in a romantic way has some thumb rules, one of them is that when you like someone then you try to touch them at every opportunity. From all of our LI’s Gavin is by far the one with the most body contact to the MC (The main story only atm, I will come to his dates in a minute ;)). I think the anime speaks for itself, in every single Gavin episode and some of other LI’s episodes (ahem…ep 10 but also ep 11…ahem) Gavin and MC are always in an embrace or a meaningful “hands-on” moment…In the game MC and Gavin are quite often touchy with each other, MC seems to not holding her hands back every time she feels like Gavin’s hurt and reflexively touches him, she is also highly concerned about his hair since every time his hair get messed up by the wind, rain or hormones (swh ;)), MC doesn’t waste any second before correcting his hair. Every reunion they have results in MC reaching out her hands towards Gavin and surprisingly never other way around. Even in a perillious moment in chapter 22 when Gavin goes completely wild and unleashes his “beast-self” the first thing MC wants to do is embrace him. In chapter 24, at the very end among all routes, MC only tells Gavin that she’s missed him and hugs him. Chapter 27...again MC wants to check Gavins body for injuries and tends to them the second they are alone in a closed room. They both yearn for each other’s touch all the way, no matter in which narrative.

If I were to start counting Gavin’s touchy touchy moments on the other hand, then we have to prepare a 4 volumes encyclopedia because that male individual is all about touching MC. Another hint for their closeness is that MC makes notes on Gavin’s scent quite often, mostly related to his jacket or his embrace and while doing it, she always uses adjectives like “clean”, “distinct” or “unique”. Again in ch. 15 she knows its Gavin standing behind her even without looking, because she senses his scent: “A scent that I’d recognize anywhere”. Surely there are many scenes, where MC holds hands with another LI or makes a remark of their scent, but they are not at the intensity or frequency level that of Gavin’s.

2. The Setting

All four LI’s are representing a certain archetypes women are usually attracted to:

Kiro is a pop idol (target audience 13-15)

Victor is the young successful businessman with a high dominant demeanour and Mr. Grey-ish attitude (target audience 25 upwards or any 50 shades of Grey reader)

Lucien is a young attractive professor with a mysterious and enigmatic vibe (target audience 20-24)

Gavin is the misunderstood bad boy (high school) and later a righteous police officer (16-19 for the bad boy Gavin and 20 upwards for the righteous police officer, special agent, military commander... a pilot?! anything including a uniform fetish)

So, in the game, Elex could take any of these paths and develop it in a way that the chosen path becomes a true love story. I gotta admit, Victor’s story comes at times very close to being one. However, his never-ending bickering and belittling in his 90% of the time cold demeanour just make him lose major points. Plus, MC mostly goes along with Victor’s tone, even though she is a kind and friendly person, she bickers with Victor not because that’s her personality but because that’s the way she can cope with him. If only he were a little bit less domineering.. Which is why I never feel like MC and Victor would belong together irl.

Seemingly Elex and Mappa take Gavin’s way imo. Because…

In the main story MC loves all of the LIs in a different way and also has romantic feelings to each one of them to a certain degree, but when we look at it closely and read in between the lines of MC’s thoughts Gavin is a little bit more romantically portrayed than the other guys.

a) First of all Gavin had a crush on MC during high school cannonically: Even though Gavin only says that it was a farewell letter, MC says once that she wishes that she could’ve read that “love letter”. I will stop here with Gavin’s feelings because this post focuses on MC.

b) MC, too, was kinda into Gavin during high school because in Episode 18, when she goes to Loveland Hugh during her farewell tour before going with her ultimate sacrifice , she remembers Gavin in intimate things like “watching his athletic body” or “wearing men’s clothes-meaning his-”. Additionally she remembers taking note of his face shining in the sun in the very back of the line during her recital. Even before it all she was specifically interested in him. Her memories with the other LI s are comprised of rather friendly moments like flying kites together but when it comes to Gavin she once again thinks about more intimate elements. Not to mention that the game gives MC a farewell with Gavin. In her final moments she only thinks that for Gavin her grievance would be the hardest. In the End of the Abyss era (ch. 15-18) MC meets all of the LIs after their changes again and reacts to all of them with joy…surely, but only when she sees Gavin hovering above her in the helicopter it is again…drum roll…drama: “The next second I saw a pair of amber eyes…shining like brilliant skies” this girl is always romanticizing Gavin.

“-Can you hear me?

-Can you see me?

-See my heart pounding again at the sight of you?” (so are you saying that your heart wasn’t pounding before? oh ok ;))

Fast forward to CH34 where MC fights Leto for the final time and remembers our guys and again, while she remembers other LIs for their sacrifices and their protection of her, she remembers Gavin's warm arms...

c)The game takes his time and turns the half of a whole chapter into a date in chapter15 Ep 1-9. There is no other chapter in the game where MC spends time with any of the other LI’s in which there is only the two of them, whereas nothing relevant to the main story happens and they share solely many sweet, romantic and almost hot (when MC tries to dry Gavin’s face in her flat and realizes that she stands way too close to him, she then prepares herself to say something, but gets interrupted by the alarm) and again, MC is getting close to Gavin, not the other way around like Lucien pushing MC against the blackboard, that little sneaky Lucien (actually I could write a post with a masterlist of Lucien’s advances to MC:D).

d) MC’s premonitions revolve mostly around Gavin (when they are not about the whole world or the black queen). Her dream about the rooftop rescue, her Room 404 dream, her daydream in the office in 6-13 in which Gavin’s suffering and from which she wakes up crying out his name leading to Willow, Kiki and Anna remark on playfully how unfair it is to dream about Gavin and disregarding the other guys. She also sees his future in episode 15 twice! If I am not mistaken, she only sees Victor’s future once in her dream and a vague vision of him in ch 18 but other than that she has no premonitions about Lucien or Kiro. Besides in the anime MC uses her power unintentionally yet instinctively twice while having Gavin in mind in episodes 5 and 8. The third time, she uses her powers in this way is in episode 11 with Victor but he is not her driving force for this but she is driven by the imminent danger they both are in and she doesn’t particularly think about Victor at this moment. In the game it additionally happens in chapter 22 when Gavin is cornered by the mechanical arms and is in a tight spot, this sight makes MC have a surge of rage and to unleash her powers in a great magnitude. Gavin is Queen’s soft spot i.e. More importantly Gavin is a constant part of MC’s future frame. She has her visions about other LI’s past but when it comes to Gavin it’s only his future. MC doesn’t have visions about Gavin’s past, like, ever. While Kiro, Lucien and Victor are stuck in their pasts with MC, Gavin has made peace with his past, is living in the present and looking forward the future (one of his best qualities imo, not being stuck in the past). Ironically, it’s MC, who’s stuck in the past in Gavin’s case.

e) I will intentionally not delve much into S2 stuff, but one thing has to be in this post…We know that in S2 MC goes back in time and relives the last 17 years. During these 17 years she makes sure to spend her high school years close to Gavin. So given the chance to rewrite her past, she would choose to make good for the lost years that she regretted dearly in S1 (she gushes out about her regrets in S2 Late Autumn Date in detail). We are yet to find out more about the nature of their relationship during high school, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a “will they, won’t they” situation. Since the game wouldn’t put any of the guys in an ex-boyfriend role, that would be the most romantic frame possible.

3. How other people see Gavin x MC

f) In CH 36, the one before CH 37, where every LI gets the same intimate moment with MC, only Lucien and Gavin are getting close to kissing her to which MC doesn't show any rejection towards... She is the one accidentally kissing Gavin btw and this is the only time before CH37 that MC either accidentally or willingly kiss any LI on his face or near his lips.

g) In S1, MC only posts two pics with the boys in her moments. One of them is a selfie with Lucien and the second one is with Gavin, hugged from behind. No other LIs ever have a moment with MC. Neither on their accounts, nor on MCs.

It is always a good indicator to look at how other characters perceive a particular ship. For Gavin and MC, it is almost obvious that once they are standing side by side, others see them instantly as a couple. Sure, at the orphanage some children ask Lucien if MC is his girlfriend or that one actress threatens MC to stay away from Victor because he’s hers (btw what happened to her?) With Gavin however, it’s practically a running joke.

As mentioned above, her once daydream in the office with Gavin shoutout in CH 6-13 drew the attention of her co-workers, leading them to mock her for thinking about him too much even though her dream was rather a nightmare. Besides, Gavin is the one showing up the most in MC’s office and he also lift her up to his shoulders once in the Visiting Hours date and Homer took a pic of that hilarious moment.

Every time MC is at STF HQ, respectively, Gavin’s co-workers or subordinates too take note of her presence and in chapter 12 they are even caught red-handed by one of the agents as MC is busy “correcting” Gavin’s hair (because see point 1). Eli seems to be aware of the intimacy between the two and even probably assumes that they’ve done the deed, because in ch 12 he is surprised to hear that MC hasn’t seen Gavin’s wound yet. He presumes that she already saw him naked…oh Eli! Season 2 has even more eminent scenes, we just have to wait and see.

In chapter 15 when they deliver Perry to the hospital, they are mistaken to be his parents by the hospital personnel not once but twice! Needless to say, they don’t find it necessary to correct the misunderstanding. I mean Perry is, what, 6…MC 22, Gavin 24 but they automatically think that they must be the parents?! Sure thats common sense- wink wink nudge nudge ¬‿¬ -

In chapter 22 Shaw makes a comment on MC willing to go to where Gavin is with a “Really, all you do is following him, isn’t it?”. He uses MC to trigger Gavin in Airport date as well.

And of course, there is Minor…The ultimate number one wingman and the most original Gavin-stan! Minor uses everything in his power to bring them together both in the main story and in dates. He even calls her Sis-in-Law in public in CH 35 which MC doesn't reject. This doesn’t even need explanation.

Last but not least:

Their couple chemistry went viral lol.

Visually speaking, when they stand side by side, for me Gavin and MC look the most like a couple (Kiro is too childish and fashion icony compared to MC and Victor is too mature and business attire-ish making him look like her uncle rather than boyfriend, Lucien is the only one besides Gavin who actually suits MC visually). I am not saying that looks are the main indicator btw so don’t lynch me please ^_^

Come to think about it, MCs life is intertwined with that of Gavin's the most. Considering how she knows his father, brother and colleagues and spends so much time in "his world" whether it's at STF or NW. In the main story MC and Gavin have their favorite restaurants (ehm it's never souvenir due to obvious reasons 😉), share the same passion for music, have many common memories from high school and most importantly their world views are very similar. Both are prioritizing others safety over themselves and are compassionate for anyone who is in need. They are both ambitious and hardworking but not to the point of being power driven. Both are humble and finding hapinness in the smallest things. Maybe that's why they say the same things simultaneously or say the things the other would say simultaneously. MC and Gavin are highly compatible and have a harmonious, healthy relationship despite the conspiracy around them.

4. Anime

Okay okay, listen…Yes, the anime wasn’t the best adaptation and many of us were disappointed by the ending (including me), still, the anime makes a part of canon MLQC universe and no Gavin-stan should complain about the anime because the anime put canonically Gavin on a pedestal. In a total of 12 episodes, all guys had 2 episodes each BUT Gavin was actually blessed with 3 episodes and so many romantic moments to count…let’s count them anyways :)

Mappa introduces all guys in episode 1 so MC encounters them all in the first 25 minutes but she first meets Gavin in episode 2 and the two spend almost the entire time of the episode together, not to mention the extremely romantic first-fly scene in the sunset. As I mentioned in point 1, MC and Gavin are always in physical contact in any given episode. Anime made sure to portray every single interaction they have romantically.

They even went so far to mix Gavin scenes in other guys episodes (he offers her a ride to work in ep 3, she has an emotional moment with him after the first shooting misunderstanding while Lucien is standing right next to her in ep 4, Gavin is the one to catch MC mid-air in ep 10, this episode ends with them in their life and death embrace falling down in dawn… and then he falls on her in ep 11).

When it’s a Gavin episode MC has no romantic scenes with any of the other guys, let alone having any scenes at all. Its only about Gavin in Gavin episodes. Also, the storyline is edited in a way that between MC and Gavin a romantic story develops. Their meet cute conspiracy, their misunderstanding with Lucien, followed by the “drop the senpai” offer and finally that 5 seconds long gaze deeply in the eyes in ep 8 while holding hands.

It is really sad that the anime ruined this development in the final episode but taking into consideration that there might be a second season, they probably chose to make the change in Gavin’s character after the NW project remarkable.

Another point in the anime is that they kinda exaggerate Gavin’s Evol a little bit. During his stand-off with Lucien Gavin’s bullet cuts through Lucien’s shield and all in ep 8,11 and 12 there is a significant emphasis on the intensity and destructive power of Gavin’s Evol. I mean, whose Evol is the most upfront one in episode 12? We see Lucien using his Evol only twice, both very briefly, Kiro/Helios/Key and Victor even have to use guns to protect themselves and/or MC. Gavin’s shown using a pistole once at the beginning, after that it’s all turbines and tornadoes and just Gavin unleashed.

I think it’s an exaggeration because in my personal opinion, Lucien is actually the one with the strongest Evol, followed by Victor and then comes Gavin. Lucien’s ability to copy an Evol is simply the strongest trait one could have, sure it comes with the downside that he then doesn’t have enough time and focus to excel in any of those Evols, Victor can literally create black holes are you kidding me?! But because his Evol has its limits it puts him in the second place. But in the anime, Gavin’s Evol is extremely powerful and destructive and they also created some really cool scenes in which Gavin uses his Evol in various styles (accelerating his bullets speed, dodging a bullet, lifting MC in any and every situation, flying- obviously- and sometimes just overpowered destruction).

But in the anime in comparison, Lucien looks like a copy-cat of Evols and Victor like someone who travels through time to find out nothing can change the course of events (on a side note I will never understand why did Mappa toned down Victor so heartlessly, he is a powerful character and has countless sweet, emotional moments with MC).

5. Dates

I left dates to the end because they are highly subjective and don’t belong to the main story. NEVERTHELESS, Gavin’s dates include here and there some hints which may indicate that MC tends to like Gavin maybe just a little bit more. I will just add it as bullet points here since I’m pretty sure that the list will be enriched over time.

Slightly drunken date: Shouting out loud in public “Gavin! I’m crazy for you!”

When the Galaxy Falls Date: “...and in that moment, I make an eternal vow in my heart. To give all the blazing love and the most endless warmth to the person in front of me. Standing on my tiptoes, I carry a heart which is filled with courage to move forward, receiving Gavin.”

2 become 1 date “No matter whether the wedding is real or fake I only want to be your bride.” Here comes the Groom event where MC had a prob wedding with each and every LI but she actually only wanted to be Gavin’s bride (obviously Gavin’s heard her loud and clear since he’s bought a gem/ring right after) and that gem is brought up in…

The Returning from Afar Date - Thank you for silently watching over my mood. Thank you for always returning to my side no matter where you go. The white muslin drifts to and fro. My heart stirs, and I gently touch the muslin in front of me. Sunlight streams in. My fingertips brush the soft white muslin, tracing the word “Gavin” on it. I turn my head to the side, blinking at Gavin a little playfully. “This word - apart from it being your name, it also has another meaning. It’s “courage”. MC getting poetic, but who wouldn’t in that date (thank you @smallersocksx for reminding me and without @cheri-translates we poor Eng-server players would be left in the dark so thank you for translating season 2 for us!!!) but than MC verbally and literally makes her feelings clear in…

Late autumn date (2nd season translation by @cheri-translates) “I close my eyes, holding onto his solid arms. I lift my head to welcome his lips, savouring his unique breath. The person in front of me has shed off the roughness of youth, leaving behind only the purity of youth. He often makes me forget that he once used to be unrestrained like the wind. He has a body that is stronger than everyone else’s, a tough soul, a will that is as firm as steel, and a heart full of tenderness – it is soft beyond compare.

I cling to his waist tightly using my calves, wanting to brand every part of him into my heart.

“I want to bear his everything.”

Gavin: “Do you like it?”

“I like it…I like it very much…I like it so much that I don’t know how to prove how much I like it” “The rest of my life is yours, The years that we’ve missed out on are also yours” (whatever I have, I will give it to you. I will give everything to you, leaving nothing behind)

I rest my case

#mlqc #mlqc gavin #mlqc haku #mlqc bai qi #mlqc baek gi #mr love queen's choice #koi to producer #studio mappa #elex #papergames #mldd #analysis #tag your otp #romance #anime couple

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dracosearlgreytea · 4 years

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indelicate marks (11)

indelicate marks: chapter eleven - the accusation

A/N: aaa okay so heres the next chapter! ive been lowkey stressed about posting this chapter as it took a lot to write, but i hope you enjoy it.. thank you so so so much for the increased support from everyone, if i havent replied to a comment dw i do read them! they literally transform my day no matter how i feel, so yeah just thank you. lotsa love - ivy

warnings: language, strong descriptions of ptsd/reliving bad memories, graphic descriptions of deep cuts and bleeding

lovely tags: @h-annahayy @okaydraco @fanficflaneuse @thatoneasrastan @biinspiration @honeymelon22

indelicate marks index

January and February, after the first meeting of the year, passed by quiet. Draco's state was getting worse. Every time you'd see him, even when you'd met twice a week, something about him was growing... darker. Sometimes it wasn't just the bags under his eyes, or the sharpness of his cheekbones. Sometimes it was the way his tone never lifted out of the monotonous state he tended to abandon around you. Sometimes it was the way he could hardly hold a conversation, or the anxiety would overwhelm him and you'd have to sit with him tucked into your chest, praying that his breathing would settle soon. But, somehow, within the misery that hung over the two of you, you also managed to find the friend you had waited so long for. Draco was funny. Dry, and witty, and frustratingly funny. The things that he'd say as a passing comment could make you double over in laughter. You'd always find his lips shooting up into that wicked grin you'd grown to adore. That smile was something you'd find few and far between, and its rarity only settled it closer to your heart. He was smart, too - a lot less stupid that he made himself out to be. Draco could easily give Granger a run for her money, if he wanted to. He had a secret passion for Muggle literature. Something, which you found out totally by mistake - and continued to bring up at any given opportunity just to annoy him. To your utter shock, Draco also played piano. He'd described an organ, back in Malfoy Manor. His parents would usually enchant to play by itself - but, his mother had still taken it upon herself to teach him how to play it when he was a child. The insights he offered you into his life were quite frankly fascinating. It was still odd. The dynamic between you was never quite settled; impermanent. There were little things you found yourself holding onto. Like his smile, or the way he frowned when he listened to you talk, as though he was really focusing on your words. Since your realisation at the beginning of the year, your affections for Draco had only grown. Most of the time, you'd manage to ignore it, only swallowing back the flutters in your chest. Because there was no way you could fancy Draco Malfoy. There was no way he would ever reciprocate, and there was no way it could ever work between you even if he did. And, it was nice. Being friends with someone. You could cope with the darkness he carried. You could cope with pushing away any indication of your developing attachment to him. Having someone to talk to, to even just be around - complicated or not - was a privilege you had never had. But, as much as you attempted to ignore it, the tension at Hogwarts was also getting a lot worse. Trying not to think about what would happen when you had to return home at the end of the year was difficult. Even the idea of having that mark on your arm was sickening. You didn't even want to acknowledge the fact that to take it, you would have to expose the mark that already sat on your forearm. Most likely, to the Dark Lord himself. The glares got worse. The comments got more threatening. Walking the corridors was not safe for you. Not when your parents had killed so many families of the students around you. It hadn't exactly been before, but now, with that suffocating atmosphere, it had only gotten worse. Keeping a firm grip on your wand at all times was second nature, at this point. You had been on your way to a meeting with Draco when your fears became too real. The feeling of someone following you had been tugging at your conscious for most of the day. But then, most people were watching you, anyway, eyes lingering on you in every hall or classroom you passed through. So, you'd only shrugged it off as your paranoia overreacting. It was still light. With winter beginning to pass, the nights were growing shorter. Weekly trips to the classroom were no longer spent in the dark, much to your appreciation. Just as you reached the last staircase leading to the third floor, it jumped into action. It swung away from your destination, and you ground your teeth, hanging onto the railings. Again, you only passed your mistake off as a busy mind - until you glanced behind you. The previous staircase had also moved. A distinct dread began to poison your gut. With the piece of staircase behind you gone, your only choice was to progress onto wherever this one would take you. You swallowed, staring up as the stairs docked. It lead onto a one-way corridor, a piece of the castle that was rarely used, and a quiver ran over your hand as you wrapped your fingers around your wand. Slipping it from your back pocket, you finally shifted. Someone wanted you in that corridor. Someone wanted you cornered. The second you stepped off of the stairs, it jolted away from you, only confirming your assumption. Stranded in the corridor, the lack of windows cast an eerie shadow down its length. There was only two classrooms coming off the sides, and one at the end - most likely locked, with a spell more powerful than 'alohamora' would fix. Edging forwards, you flung your eyes around you. Your heart was thudding dangerously in your chest - it was currently dinner. No one would be around to help if something happened, assuming anyone would help you. Draco was unlikely to come searching for you if you turned up late, waiting on the opposite side of the moving staircases. You only hoped you could reach the stairs before something bad could happen to you. Pausing, your eyes met the end doorway. It was ajar. You pressed yourself against the wall as you shifted closer - the opening only offered to show you a slice of darkness within. Someone could be, however, waiting for you inside. Hoping your curiosity would get the better of you. Preparing to jump you. Setting your wand upright and poised, you lifted your hand, before shoving the door open. Only, before you could get a glimpse inside, it had slammed shut in your face. You stumbled back a couple steps, true panic setting in. "Was it you?" A voice came from behind you. You'd walked straight into a trap. Taking in a shuddering breath, you spun to face the voice. A flicker of your brow, and you stared at the figure blocking the end of the corridor. "Potter?" He had emerged from one of the classrooms either side of you, wand clenched in his fist and eyes hard. Stupid, you're so stupid, you should have checked. "Was it you, Y/N?" Harry repeated, watching you with an unpredictable atmosphere to him. "Did you curse the necklace?" It took a second for any words to form on your lips. Your mind was going to into overdrive. Harry would not hurt you intentionally, you knew that much - he wasn't that type of person. But what he could do unintentionally... "I don't know what you're talking about." You said. Attempting to appeal to whatever friendship you'd had last year, you kept your voice as clear and honest as you could. Harry, however, did not shift. "It was you, or Malfoy." His voice lilted with questioning, and your jaw tightened. You had to remind yourself to keep breathing, act natural, even at the mention of Draco. Shit, what the fuck has Draco been doing? I know it's bad - it's the Dark Lord - but Merlin, if Harry is involved... "I said," You forced an eyebrow up at Harry in emphasis. "I don't know what you're talking about." Voice gruff, relief flooded through you. You'd managed to keep your composition. There was a million scenarios involving Draco running through your mind, and you bit back a shudder. "Then prove you're not one of them." Shit. Harry had gestured to your arm with his wand. You grew rigid in terror, a shaking whisper falling from your lips before you could swallow it back. "What?" "Show me your arm, and prove to me you're not a Deatheater." Harry said, voice a lot more forceful than before. No, no. No, this can't be happening - he wouldn't - he can't - "I don't have to prove anything to you, Potter." You spat - but there was no denying the quiver in your words. Sickness curling in the pit of your stomach, you clutched your wand, scrutinising Harry's every little movement. He shifted. It was so, so slight. Maybe he was moving towards you, maybe he was only adjusting his stance. It didn't matter, because before you could think, you raised your wand and shouted the first thing that came to mind. "Stupify-" "Expelliarmus!" You could only watch in utter horror as your wand flew through the air and clattered to the ground. All the way at the other end of the corridor. Behind Harry. No, no, no- You couldn't move. Frozen. It was as though you were in that cupboard again. Crushed against the wall, watching as two boys enchanted a blade and laughed at the way you choked for breath. "It's okay, Deatheater. You're going to get your mark soon." Harry was moving towards you now. You stumbled, falling back against the door, hands coming to press down on the handle. Locked. No escape. Breathing frantic, you could only stare at Harry with wide, angry eyes. You didn't speak as he grabbed your left arm, pulling it out in front of you. No, you didn't even struggle. You were still in that fucking broom cupboard. Harry's fingers burnt horribly against your skin, pushing up your sleeve. His eyes lingered on you as he did so, long enough to make your skin crawl. Then, he looked down. It burnt. Burnt, as though Harry had struck a match and put it to your flesh. He came to stare at you again, falling a few strides away from you as you snatched your arm back to your chest. You wanted to shout - no, scream at him, but you could do nothing but hold in the gasps of pain. Harry hadn't seen the blood. He hadn't seen the way the cuts had began to tear open, slowly. Excruciatingly. "Get the fuck away from me." It was hardly a whisper - more some inhuman, animalistic snarl. It was all you could manage. The flames were growing hotter and hotter and you'd forgotten how to breath. My wand. I need my wand. "Y/N - I'm so sorry - I-" "Go!" Something in Harry managed to click, seeing your contorted expression. With one last, horrified look, he turned and rushed away, the stairs swinging back to greet him as he did. The second he was out of sight, you let out a shuddering breath, daring a glance down to the state of your arm. Blood was already spilling down your fingers. It seeped into the fabric of your shirt, like the sea lapping at the shore - but bloodier, and a lot more sickening. "How does it feel to bleed, Deatheater? I bet you're fucking enjoying it, you sicko, just like your parents did." An involuntary whimper escaped you, unable to contain it with your mind so hazy from panic and pain. Agony was lacing its way up your arm and through your entire body, and you had to remind yourself - your wand. I need my wand. Staggering forward, you focused your gaze on your wand at the end of the corridor. Blood was spilling steadily onto floor, staining your shirt, but you refused to acknowledge it. Groans escaped your throat, scalding pain cutting deeper and deeper into your skin. Feeling the liquid thick on your hands, you, almost instinctively, gave it another look. Your entire sleeve was coated in red. An overwhelming nausea hit your gut. Falling against the wall, you desperately attempted to get your breath, but it only came in short pants. You'd barely made it halfway down the corridor. Harry had taken too long to leave, given the cuts too much time to reopen before the worst kicked in. Last time, with Draco, the reaction had been quick and easy. This time, you were alone, and wandless. Head spinning, you attempted to choke down a deep breath, and pushed forward. Everything was starting to blur a little, your head a spinning mess of thoughts. You couldn't focus. Tired. You felt so tired. You were close. You were so close to grabbing your wand, hands slick with blood as you stretched out your arm, shaking. Another step - a stumble. Your entire body crashed to floor. There was a terrible, harsh blow to the side of your head. Your ears filled with a high buzzing, sight wavering as you stared from your wand only inches away from you, to your left arm. Ten letters, red and clear. Tears rolled down your cheeks, but you didn't recognise them. It hurt, it hurt so bad, you couldn't think, couldn't breath. It was all a blur, really. A blur of torments and whispers. A blur of blade against skin. "Deatheater." "Y/N? Y/N-"

#draco x you #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy angst #harry potter fanfiction

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i-will-physically-fight-you · 4 years

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Can you do either “If you hurt them…” or “You touch them again and I’ll kill you!” with platonic lamp maybe? With maybe Virgil or Roman saying the line? Thank you either way! Youre amazing!

Title: A Fairytale Prince

Summary: Roman’s a prince. A fairytale prince. The kind of dashing prince that’s always brave and noble. Princes like him don’t kill. Only bad guys do that. So what happens when Roman does the unthinkable for the sake of saving his loved ones?

Word-Count: 1.2k

Pairing: platonic lamp

Warnings: minor character death, killing said minor character, crying, injury mention, blood mention, torture reference, angst with a happy ending

A Roman-centric piece?? From me?? Who knew I could do that :O

Roman was a prince. A fairytale prince. The kind of dashing prince that was always brave and noble. He sang with woodland animals and freed damsels from their towers. He’d never hurt let alone take another life if he could help it. In fact, he never had the opportunity. Because in his fairytale world, good guys didn’t do that. Only bad guys ever committed such atrocious acts.

But there are other worlds out there. Worlds that played fast and loose with different rules. When he first found himself in a world far removed from his own, he didn’t understand it. He held firmly to his ideals, refusing to see Virgil as anything but a villain in disguise. Someone out to hurt him and the others.

He could give a whole soliloquy filled with regrets on his woeful, unprincely behavior towards Virgil. But that wasn’t the point.

The point being, a year ago, he’d never imagine himself wishing death upon a villain so vehemently as he did now. A year ago, he had not met a noir detective, a comicbook vigilante and a stay-at-home father. Three people that held a treasured place in his heart. Three people who were currently all chained up, bruised and battered.

The villain waved his arms about, monologuing. This was typical. This was something normal in Roman’s world. Except instead of a ski-faced crook it was evil sorcerers and corrupt kings. Roman didn’t hear a word of it over the boiling blood in his veins.

They patronizingly patted Patton’s cheek and Roman bolted. His sword flew out of his scabbard in one fluid motion. He pointed it towards the villain.

“You touch any of them again,” Roman growled, heaving, “and I’ll kill you!”

The villain laughed. They cackled. Bent-over in amusement.

“C’mon, Prince Charming. We both know you’d never—”

It happened all so fast. One moment, the villain stood there tall and haughty. The next, they laid on the ground, Roman’s sword impaling their chest. They gasped, blood spurting out of their mouth. A panicked, feral gaze consumed them as they reached out. For Roman, to possibly strangle him or damn him. Then it was over.

Roman stared down at the villain. Then up at the others, who stared back. Their eyes wide in shock. Roman stumbled a few feet forward before falling. He let out a strangled cry, as if he himself had been impaled by a sword. He hunched over, hands tearing at his hair.

Long ago, he swore an oath never to grievously harm any living being. An oath he now broke. Did that make him the villain? It must be so, because he didn’t remorse at their death. He relished at it. He felt satisfied knowing he was the cause of their death. That they’d never lay a hand on his friends ever again. And that absolutely terrified him.

Patton, Logan and Virgil all spoke to him at once, trying to assuage him.

“Roman–”

“Kiddo, it’s okay–”

“–need to take deep breathes–”

“I–I–I killed someone!” Roman cried out, “Not even in combat or a noble duel but in cold blood. They hurt all of you–my most trustworthy, loyal compatriots. I–I couldn’t let them get away with it, I–I–I killed them, that makes me no better than them, a detestable, deplorable villain and–and–”

A hand rested upon his shoulder, soft and gentle. Roman looked up to see it was Patton. He’d managed to reach out as far as the chains allowed him. A large bruise formed at the crown of his head and he had busted-up lips. A resolute expression settled on his features.

“Roman, listen to me,” Patton said, slowly, “You’re still a good person.”

He sobbed at those words, his form crumpling against Patton’s. Instead of being disgusted by this, Patton drew him closer. He pulled Roman into his lap, chains clanging from his movements. Virgil and Logan tentatively inched closer. As if fearing Roman would lash out at them, hurt them the same way he did to the villain. Roman remained still, struggling to take in gulps of air.

“You know I view the concepts of good and bad as arguably meaningless,” Logan began bluntly, earning a half-hysterical wheeze from Roman. For it was true, the two had many debates about this subject. Logan paused at this, his lips twitching briefly upwards, “but Patton is right.”

Roman jerkily shook his head. He open his mouth to deny it, but all that came out was a sharp inhale. He was hyperventilating, sinking deep into his panic. Patton spoke soft words and Logan’s clear analytical facts rang out but it was all nonsense. Like that white noise Patton’s magic mirror made to help him sleep better.

A calloused hand latched onto his own, squeezing tightly. Roman didn’t look up, instead burying his head further into Patton’s chest.

“Princey, you better listen to me right now,” A raspy voice hissed. A voice that could only belong to Virgil. “You are a colossal moron.”

“Virgil!” Patton and Logan cried out at once.

The vigilante ignored them, instead pressing on. “Roman, do you kill and hurt others for your own gain? To selfishly accumulate wealth and power?”

“N-no! Never!” Roman responded, feeling sick at the mere thought of it, “Pl–please believe me, I’d never, I don’t want to–I–I just–”

“Then you’re nothing like them,” Virgil cut in, laying his other hand on top of their clasped ones, “I mean, sure. You can be a jerk at times, both intentionally and unintentionally. But when you realize your mistakes, you own up to them. You make amends. You always strive to do good, no matter how hard it is.”

Patton spoke up, “Roman, you saved us. You stopped them from committing any horrible, atrocious acts ever again. You know what that makes you?”

Roman swallowed. “What?”

“A hero.”

“But I can’t be–heroes don’t kill–”

“Maybe not in your world,” Virgil said, “but it doesn’t make you any less of one in this one because of it. Sometimes it’s–well, necessary. It doesn’t make it any easy. And if does become easy, then that’s a problem. But Roman, tell me honestly: do you think really think a bad guy would get choked up as you from killing someone? Do you think they would?”

Roman slowly shook his head.

Logan, who had been quietly observing, cleared his throat. “Then following this line of logic you are still every bit of the heroic prince we know you to be. I for one, would have it no other way.”

Roman rose his head up at that. He saw three smiling worn faces gazing down at him. Three people that held a treasured place in his heart. Three people who still loved him despite forsaking his oath.

He looked at them, and a mangled wail escaped his lungs. He reached out for all three and they complied. He was cocooned, squished between Virgil, Patton and Logan. Really, it would’ve been a lot more comfortable if they weren’t still chained. But that wasn’t the point. The chains would come off eventually. The point was that right now, they were all safe.

Roman was a prince. Not quite a fairytale prince. But he was still the kind of dashing prince that was always brave and noble. Who did the right thing. Or rather, the thing it took to keep his loved ones safe. And that was all that really mattered in the end.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #platonic lamp #kat writes

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thechildoflightning · 4 years

Text

Vergilius

Title: Vergilius

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: none

~~~

Summary: Vergilius. Vergil. Virgil. Different spellings for the same Roman poet.

For some reason no one talks about the fact that Virgil's name does in fact fit the dark sides naming pattern.

Or: Logan and Virgil have a discuss about the name 'Virgil' and what it means.

Warnings: none

[ao3 link]

~~~

Vergilius

It’s after a meeting with Thomas- who is once again panicking over the simplest of decision making, though to be fair, a large part of that is Virgil’s responsibility as well- when Logan corners him.

Virgil recognizes the situation for what it is right away. Logan gets this shine to his eyes, not quite a twinkle, more of a glimmer. Virgil knows what that look means. Logan is curious and he wants answers and he won’t leave until he gets them.

It's one of Logan’s best traits, his determination and dedication. It’s also one of his worsts.

“Why Virgil?” Logan asks, once he’s fully entered the room and checks that they are alone. (Logan’s not subtle to begin with, and it’s Virgil's job to notice the things others don't, he’s not going to pass over Logan’s sweep of the room for what it is. Logan’s making sure that they are truly alone).

“What?” Virgil replies, “Logan I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’ve literally done nothing.” A brief course of panic. “Wait, why- Logan is something wrong?”

“No, no, no,” Logan confirms, and Virgil relaxes. He lets his muscles and fists untense from where they were coiled and ready to strike as if he had the physical ability to fight every single problem away.

“Not ‘why, comma, Virgil,’” Logan clarifies, “why Virgil.” Or attempts to clarify, because Virgil is now even more lost than before.

“Why the name Virgil?” Logan asks, “Why not change it completely.”

Virgil blinks at Logan. Once. Twice.

“What?” Virgil asks, completely thrown off balance and one word rebuttal coming off slightly harsher than he intended. He trusts Logan- he does- but vulnerability has never been his strong suit and his name- well… but Virgil’s working on it. He is. He’s trying.

(Why does he feel like trying is never good enough).

“I don’t understand why you would keep it. I thought you would have changed it,” Logan remarks, oblivious too or plain ignoring Virgil’s inner turmoil.

Logan’s dismissal of his name stings more than Virgil’s ready to admit, and he realizes he has to do something fast. Because Virgil is his name, of course it is, and he’s not getting rid of it. But Logan- are the other light sides mad at him for keeping his name? Do they think it ties him to the dark sides that much more?

(Virgil’s so tired of being a dark side. So tired of everything he does being marked bad. He’s still having to relearn that he is not fundamentally a bad person after all these years).

“Logan,” Virgil says weakly, not sure how to build his defense on this particular subject, “Logan it’s my name.”

“I know,” Logan agrees, “and I would have thought that you don’t like it. You have already taken small measures to change it. I thought it was strange you stopped at that. Do you not wish to change your name? Am I mistaken?”

“I-” Virgil stutters, trying to gather his thoughts on the matter. Because Logan’s right. Virgil doesn’t like his name, doesn’t like how it rolls off the tongue. Too many syllables, too much weight, too much history.

Virgil is a small change. But it’s so so so much better.

Virgil is Virgil.

“I- I mean- yeah- I don’t like my original name. But Virgil- Virgil is better.”

Logan considers him for a moment, watching Virgil with a steady gaze before giving a slight nod.

“Alright,” he agrees, “as long as it works for you.”

Virgil nods, and thinks that’s it.

But Logan hovers in the rooming, leaning forward slightly. Virgil can practically see his mind racing. It’s obvious he has something to say.

Virgil raises an eyebrow.

“Yes Logan?”

“May I ask two questions?” Logan asks, “the second might be uncomfortable or invasive. You may refuse to answer at any time, even if you give me consent to ask it now.”

Virgil mulls over the words and reminds himself that this is Logan. He would never hurt Virgil intentionally. Unintentionally- sure, but it’s happened in the past. It could certainly happen here.

But Virgil’s willing to take that risk.

He nods.

“I don’t understand why Virgil is acceptable to you,” Logan prefaces, “Virgil is nothing but a shortened version of Vergilius, and both names along with Vergil- spelled with an ‘e’- are all alternate titles for the same historical poet. They seem so completely connected together that I don’t understand how you could find one comforting and the other repulsive.”

Which is fair. Like Logan said, Virgil is one of many spellings, but all the spellings refer to the same name. It’s like when people sometimes spell Kaitlyn with a “c” or a “i” instead of “y”. Alternate spelling, sure, but the same name.

That’s all Virgil has done, switching from Vergelius to plain old Virgil.

“So,” Logan continues, “My question for you is wherein lies that difference? What allows you to be comfortable with Virgil but not Vergilius?”

Virgil has an answer. He’s thought about this for quite some time himself, even if he had never expected anyone to ask him about. But Virgil represents anxiety, and he double, even triple checked his own name, his own reasoning to determine that he was completely satisfied with it.

Now how to explain it in words?

“We all started with names,” Virgil says slowly, “Intentionally or not, Thomas assigned us names that fit us when we were formed. Right?”

“Yes- well not exactly,” Logan responds. Virgil raises his eyebrows at him. “The names Thomas gave us represented how Thomas perceived us when we formed, not necessarily are true authentic selves.”

Virgil gives a small nod of acknowledgement.

“Fair enough,” he allows. “So- Logan, a question for you. Why were you named Logan?”

“Logan. Logos. Logic,” Logan reciters, “the principle of reason and judgement.”

“Right,” Virgil agrees, because his has always been one of the easiest to make sense of. “And I’m Virgil. Again with the Greek and Roman origins. Potentially coming from the term ‘vigil,’ to keep watch. As anxiety that’s my job. Then the connection to the poet- which sure that takes us closer to Roman’s territory but the few times Roman and me have actually gotten along is when we’ve mixed his creativity and the way I feel emotions- specifically surrounding anxiety and fear- to create art.”

“Yes,” Logan agrees.

Virgil nods and considers how to continue. He knows what he wants to say but he has to think about it for a moment and calculate the proper way to present his feelings to Logan. Logan wants facts, knowledge, logic. That isn’t Virgil’s default and it takes him a minute to speak Logan's language.

“Your name fits your role. My name fits mine. It’s not a name I chose, but I feel that it fits me well. It- my name allows me to be more than anxiety. Anxiety has always restricted me, made me be one thing. Virgil gives me the freedom to choose and be myself while still providing comfortable familiarity. I don’t have to limit myself to a simplified emotion. I can just be… Virgil.”

Logan studies him for a moment, eyes sweeping across his body as if searching for a lie.

“Okay,” he eventually says, “I can understand that. But then why not keep Vergilius?”

Virgil gives a weak smile.

“I thought that would have been obvious.”

Logan frowns.

“Your name doesn’t make you a dark side.”

“But it matches the undeniable pattern,” Virgil points out.

Logan hums but doesn’t protest. It’s not like he could. Virgil’s right.

Roman. Patton. Logan.

Remus. Janus. Vergilius.

“It hurts,” Virgil admits finally. And it’s hard to admit but he’s trying to be vulnerable, trying to open up and he’s going to give Logan the benefit of the doubt. (Even so his heart beats louder and his breath grows slightly shorter and his fingers and toes curl tight and tense up). “It hurts to know that somewhere in Thomas’s subconscious, he sees us as good and bad.”

Logan's frown grows deepens.

“That’s an over simplification of the complex roles each of us carry out.”

“I know,” Virgil says. He didn’t once upon a time. He used to truly believe that there was good and bad and that he was bad, that he hurt Thomas no matter what even when he tried his hardest to be good. But those days are mostly behind him. Mostly. He still had some bad days. “I know that Logan. But Thomas hasn’t always seen it that way.”

“Do you think Thomas sees you that way now?”

A few weeks ago Virgil would have said yes- that Thomas only thought he hurt them and would be glad to get rid of Virgil and the pain he brought with him.

Now though…

Thomas told him that he was wanted, that he was needed, that he was loved.

What a strange concept.

“I-“ Virgil hesitates, “I think Thomas is learning to see shades of gray.”

Logan nods.

“And you are of course aware that Thomas was raised religious.”

Virgil snorts.

“No shit Logan, it wasn’t like I was there for all of it or anything.”

“You weren’t?” Logan friend, eyebrows knitting in, “I was certain you had formed by then, am I-“ Logan pauses, clears his throat and adjusts his glasses, “right. Sarcasm.”

Virgil quirks a smile and gives a small nod.

“Got it in one teach.”

Logan straightens his posture, hands coming to rest in front of him and head up. Virgil recognizes it as Logan’s “I’m about to give you a shit ton of info posture.”

“Okay then. Well then you are aware that Thomas was raised with the awareness that things were either good or bad. Thomas was raised with extremes. And as he grew, he eventually started to learn about shades of gray. But as a very young kid it’s hard to see things as nuanced and detailed as they actually are. Add religious teachings that emphasize that good and bad are opposite absolutes and it makes sense that a young Thomas’s brain divided us that way. But that does not mean we still are that way.”

Virgil is- quite honestly Virgil is touched. He’s used to putting up strong walls, ready to fight back against whatever tries to hurt him. He’s still getting used to the idea that people actually want to interact with him and being validated so strongly by Logan almost makes him glow.

“I know,” Virgil says softly, “I know. The world isn’t black.” Vergilius. “Or white.” Something entirely new. “It’s grey.” Virgil. “And I- I’m not exactly sure where I fall now. I’m not- I’m not a dark side, but I don’t think I’m a light side either. I’ve uh- kinda created my own little space.”

Logan looks at Virgil with his piercing gaze.

“Ah. I understand now. Thank you Virgil.”

And for some reason, Virgil thinks Logan really understands it. His name, and so much more.

(There’s so much more than light or dark).

“Yeah sure. Anytime.”

Logan gives him a final nod and turns to exit, leaving Virgil to his thoughts.

Just before Logan passes out through the doorway, he turns around.

“Virgil?”

“Yes.”

“You have a nice name. It is- admirable that you chose to keep parts of it and alter the rest to best define you.”

Warmth. warmth everyone, sleeping across his body and into his heart, through his entire being.

“Thank you,” he manages.

And then Logan is gone.

If this is what being accepted is like- well, he might want to get used to it.

~~~

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#ts virgil #ts logan #platonic analogical #sanders sides #ts sides #character study #fanfiction #fan fiction #mywriting #ao3 #colupdate

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greekgeek21 · 3 years

Text

Percy Jackson & The Avengers: Convergence - filler chapters save lives

Hey...

- your (extremely sorry and depressed) author

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or the Avengers.

Ω ♆ Ω

This was inevitable. Percy was a ball of nuclear energy just counting down to an explosion. It wasn't a matter of if that energy broke free, but a matter of when. The group had thought it had happened when he set off a tropical storm in the middle of Nevada, but they were wrong. He had truly lost control only moments before...

when he killed a man.

Ω ♆ Ω

Percy didn't even spare a glance at the crumpled body before he rushed to Annabeth's side. His eyes raked over her body, checking for injury. When he found none, he pulled her into him, hugging her like she was his lifeline (and she practically was).

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he whispered in Ancient Greek over and over again in her ear, "I love you, I love you, I love you..."

Tears were slipping down both their cheeks, but they didn't move to wipe them away, likely neither of them had even realised they were crying. The couple was in their own world. One where only they existed and nobody could bother them.

It wasn't to last, though.

Someone on the team had to break the silence, and of course it was Tony, "As much as I hate to break this up, can we please get off this goddamned island now?"

He was speaking with false-sarcasticness, but nobody pointed it out. Everyone but Annabeth and Percy's eyes were on the body, or what was supposed to be one. Instead of a humanoid shape, it was a crumpled ball of bones, tissue, and blood. It was an awful sight, truly. Nothing was natural about it.

For everyone there, including the other demigods, it was eye-opening into the more blood-thirsty side of the divine world. Percy's powers were derived from the gods, and they allowed him to be able to do something like this. It was horrifying.

Ω ♆ Ω

Annabeth was the first of the two to come to her senses. She gently pushed back against Percy's embrace, signaling that it was time to come back to the real world; where they had to address what he had done. But that could wait. For now, Annabeth decided the best thing to do was to get everyone home safely.

"We should go, Percy," she whispered.

"I know. I'm scared, though," he spoke in Greek.

He did that sometimes, when he had a particularly bad PTSD episode. It was his mind's way of protecting itself. Even though he had spoken only English for the first twelve years of his life, his first language would always be Ancient Greek, just like all Greek demigods. It was the same for any type of demigod. They were born that way.

However, this wasn't an episode. This was his actions catching up to him. This was his world spinning on its axis once again.

Secretly, Annabeth had feared something like this would happen eventually. He was pushing down so much power, it was bound to break through at one point. That's why she had slowly been trying to coax him to use his powers fully again. Her theory was that the more he used them, the more control he would have on them, and the less they would be fighting against his willpower. He was a battery, and he needed to let some of the energy out every so often.

She would have to be more direct about her suspicions now. When they got home, that is. After he had time to adjust again.

It seemed like they were always adjusting now.

"I know, Seaweed Brain, I know. Let's just work on getting home, first, though. Ok?" she said.

She felt him nod against her neck before he pulled away from her, only to wrap an arm around shoulders a second later. He needed to feel her against him as a calming reassurance. And she needed him for the same reason.

They faced their team. Because that was what they were now, a team. They weren't the Seven and the Avengers anymore. They had been through too much in such a short span of time for them to be separate teams anymore.

"Let's go home," Annabeth announced, and started the trip back through the tunnel with Percy at her side, just like he would always be.

Ω ♆ Ω

Later, after Percy and Annabeth had disappeared into one of the cabins together, the rest of the team met up on the deck. Hazel would normally not like going behind their friend's backs to talk about them like this, but even she thought this meeting was important. This would decide Percy's fate once they reached the mainland again.

"Ok, who wants to start?" Hazel asked, after they had all just stood there in silence for a minute.

If nobody else was going to speak, then she was going to. She wanted this to be over as soon as possible. She had already made her decision regarding her cousin, and it would never change. That she was sure of.

"I can," Jason answered.

All eyes turned to him, but that did not phase him. He was trained to be a leader from a very young age. Having people look at him while he made speeches was part of the job description.

"I support my family, and Percy is family. What he did was horrible, obviously, but it wasn't anything the rest of us wouldn't have done in the same situation. He probably is going to punish himself more than anything else we could do to him. We need to show him that we are still his team, his family."

The rest of the demigods nodded firmly, agreeing with this. They knew Percy. They knew that what Jason had said was very true. Instead of punishing him, they needed to help show him that he was not a horrible person. Otherwise something like this would just happen again.

Time would just keep repeating itself.

The Avengers all glanced at one another, all unsure where to stand in this. Sure, they had learned a lot about the teen since they had first met, but none of them could be sure that this was just a fluke; that something like this wouldn't keep happening if they didn't do anything about it.

"How can we be sure that he won't do something like this again?" Natasha asked, a firm expression trained somehow on all five demigods present.

"We can't. But we CAN try our best to ensure that there is almost no chance. Percy has SO MUCH power, and he has been pushing it down in himself for months. That caused it to react harshly with his emotions. I'm sure Annabeth and Percy both know this. He needs help, not punishment," Piper answered, almost matching Nat's glare perfectly.

Steve spoke up next, "He killed someone, Piper. That can't go unpunished."

Piper kaleidoscope eyes seemed to flash brightly at the captain, "And you haven't killed someone, Captain? In the name of war? Love? How is what Percy did any different than you blowing up some hydra base?"

"That man down there is the best and most loyal man you'll ever meet. I can promise you that," Frank added in, "He would never do something to hurt a good person, not intentionally, just like the rest of us."

Bruce spoke up with fire, surprising everyone, "But that's exactly our point! He would never do something to hurt a good person INTENTIONALLY! But what about unintentionally?!"

Leo's nostrils flared, "You, out of everyone here, have no right to say that...Hulk."

Bruce looked like he had been slapped at first, but then his expression shifted into something resembling sheepishness.

Leo's flaming gaze (literally, his hair was smoking) passed over the rest of the Avengers, looking for any more objections. When he found none, he gave a curt nod of approval.

"I guess that's that, then, isn't it?" he said, and promptly went below deck.

Ω ♆ Ω

Percy and Annabeth were snuggled as close as possible on the bed in their cabin. Not a word beyond 'I love you' had been spoken between them yet. They just clutched onto each other like the other would disappear again any second.

Finally, after an hour had passed, Annabeth spoke, "We need to talk about it, Perce."

His head childishly shook. The sides of Annabeth's mouth lifted just a bit at the sign that her Percy wasn't completely hidden.

"I know it's hard, but we have to. You have to be ready to talk about it with the rest of the team later. They'll want answers, and I want you to be able to give them. It'll be easier with me first," she said, pushing a hand gently through his unruly raven-colored hair.

"You can answer in Greek if you have to. And you don't have to give long answers, you just have to say something," she reassured, "Does that sound ok?"

Percy took a deep breath before nodding his head.

"I'll start off simple. What are you feeling right now?" Annabeth asked.

He took a second to respond, but Annabeth was willing to give him all the time needed to form an answer, so long as he gave one.

"I'm tired. So tired, Wise Girl. My stomach hurts and I feel like my skin is on fire. But most of all, I feel like I don't even know myself anymore. I killed a mortal, Annabeth! How could I even look at myself again?" he answered in Greek.

Annabeth's heart broke just a little, "Oh, Percy. I know who you are. You are my adorable, powerful, and loving Seaweed Brain. You love your mother and blue food, and most of all, you love your purpose. You were put here to protect people, and that is what you did today. You protected me, okay? You didn't do anything that I wouldn't have done to save you. And I love you for it."

"But I KILLED a man, Annabeth! How can you even stand to look at me right now?!" he shouted, bursted out of her arms and off the bed.

Tears were starting to form on his lower eyelids.

"Because you are the love of my life, Perseus Jackson, and nothing you could ever do would make me love you less!" she shouted.

Good, Percy thought, Yell at me. Punish me for what I did. I deserve it.

As if she could read his thoughts, Annabeth yelled, "No! You do not get to manipulate me into punishing you for doing something that that horrible man deserved! You are not perfect, Percy, and neither am I. If you hadn't killed him, I probably would have! We are not perfect people, and we never will be. We're screwed up in the head, but we have each other! I will NOT let you go back into yourself."

"But that's the only way I can protect you! I have to hold it in!"

She sighed, "Percy, look at the facts. The only times you've put people in danger have been when you were holding your powers in. You need to let them out consistently in order to stop these large bursts from happening every time you get pissed off!"

Percy was silent, staring at the floor and mulling over her words. When he looked up, a tear had slipped down his cheek, "What if I'm too scared?"

"I'll help you. We all will, Perce. The entire team wants you to feel comfortable using your abilities. We can start off with taking you to some uninhabitable island or something. You just need to make sure you aren't pushing your powers down anymore," Annabeth answered, "Okay? Can you promise me you'll try?"

Reluctantly, Percy nodded, "I swear on the River Styx that I'll try to control and understand my powers."

Annabeth's eyes widened, but then she was crushing Percy in a hug, pulling back only to kiss him.

"I love you, Seaweed Brain."

"I love you, Wise Girl."

Ω ♆ Ω

"Well I guess that settles it then, doesn't it? We trust those ungrateful ingrates now apparently," Tony sighed, tacking a swig from a flask he had procured from somewhere and walking away from the Avengers.

You could always count on Tony Stark to simplify emotional situations. His only goal was to make them last less, though, whereas most of the Avengers wanted to talk it over some more. That wasn't on his agenda. Tony had his own agenda and discussing whether or not a teenager killing a terrorist was warrant for serious punishment was not on it.

Steve shared an annoyed look with Bruce before he nodded, "I guess it is. We'll have to discuss it with Percy when we get back to the tower, but for now, let's just get some rest."

"Yes, sir, Captain," Clint smirked, mirth flashing in his irises before he pulled Natasha over to lean against the railing around the deck.

They were no-doubt not going to let themselves get any rest, but Steve knew well enough by now to let it go. The spies ran on their own fuel and it clearly did not come from sleep, if the amount of times he'd actually seen them asleep counted for anything.

Bruce however, he could count on to actually follow orders, even if they were thinly-veiled ones. The scientist nodded his head at Steve, a small smile curving his lips, before he went below deck, likely to find a nice place to take a nap.

Steve, not wanting to seem like a hypocrite, followed after Bruce. He found an empty cabin quickly, and let himself fall into a light nap. If he had to, he could jump right into action, but he had to let his body get some rest.

He only hoped that the teens on board were doing the same.

Ω ♆ Ω

Steve was right, for the most part. Almost all of the Seven were resting. Key word: almost. Leo Valdez, ever the hyperactive inventor, was down in his makeshift shop, working on the design for his newest project.

The idea had come to him that day, when he saw how broken Percy looked. He had seen that look in his eyes before, right after the man had come out of Tartarus and he was determined to never see it cross his friend's face again. After everything Percy had done for him, Leo thought he deserved some peace of mind.

His idea was to design something to allow Percy to sleep peacefully. Something like this could help present and future generations of demigods forever. But if he was being honest, he had gotten the idea from the dreamless-sleep draught potion from Harry Potter. Before he had learned he was a demigod, he was a diehard potterhead. It was something he had managed to keep a secret from his new life for now, but it was coming in handy now.

Since he didn't have magic abilities like the wizards from the books, he had to compromise with what he DID have, which was a genius-level intellect, spare scrap metal, and some duct tape.

He had come up with more from less.

Leo figured that he could make a contraption that could connect with Percy's brain synapses and withhold some from firing, but only the ones in the hippocampus, the part of the brain that controls dreams. He also had to restrict it to nightmares only, because demigods needed dreams to make sure they didn't die. He just had to make sure he didn't accidentally cause Percy permanent brain damage. This particular part of the brain was vital in his daily function, so it would really suck if it stopped working properly.

At the moment, Leo was drawing out his designs on some paper he had pulled from his belt. His mind was working faster than his hand could, so it was taking longer than he would have preferred.

After an hour of careful and deliberate strokes of a pencil hitting paper, his head popped up from the desk, with a loud shout of "aha!", signalling his completion.

"Gods, I really am a genius, aren't I?" he muttered to himself in awe had he inspected the blueprint for mistakes.

"Talking to yourself again, Leo?" Jason commented, startling Leo as he entered the room, "That's not helping your case claiming sanity."

"Sweet Circe! Don't DO that, Sparky!" he shouted, nearly jumping out of his seat.

"If you were paying attention, you would have noticed me knocking on the door for the past two minutes, weirdo," Jason responded.

Leo rolled his eyes. His best friend knew very well that he lost himself when he was working, especially when it was something this important.

"What are you working on?" The son of Jupiter asked.

Leo grinned, eager to present his project, "I can't build it here, not without the proper equipment to test it, but I already designed it. I call it Papa Leo's Nightmare-restricting Device, or P.L.N.R.D. It's to make it so demigods can sleep without having nightmares. Like it?"

The son of Hephaestus wished he had a camera to take a picture of Jason's face at that moment. It was priceless.

Just when he was contemplating trying to pull on out of his belt, Jason pulled him into a rough hug, squeezing him until he couldn't breathe.

"Jace, I. Can't. Breathe!" he wheezed out.

He was ignored.

"Oh, you beautiful genius! I could kiss you!"

He was spun around in a circle.

"Please don't, it would suck to explain that to Piper," Leo joked once he had been allowed to stand again.

"I gotta tell the others! They're gonna be so excited!" he went to rush off, but Leo grabbed his arm before he could.

"Let's not...yet, okay? I just want to make sure that I get it finished and working before I tell the others. I don't want to let them down if I can't make it work," he said to explain his actions.

Jason looked like he didn't believe that would ever happen, but he gave Leo a brotherly pat on the shoulder, "Ok, McShizzle. I'll keep it to myself for now."

"Thanks."

"No problem, bro."

"Gods, you are such a bro-boy. It's like living around a frat house."

"You take that back!"

"Never!"

Ω ♆ Ω

Sorry for how many time skips/section separators I'm using. I guess it's part of my writing style now. This is on FF, Inkitt, Ao3, Webnovel, and Wattpad too. Like, reblog, & follow!

- your (extremely apologetic) author

other chapters :)

#pjo #fanfic #ao3 #wattpad #inkitt #ff #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #the seven #the avengers #mcu #marvel #webnovel #sorry this is so late

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