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dramatic-long-coats · 5 months

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Rest In Peace dearest Andre Braugher. You will be terribly missed. 😭♥️

#I wasn't ready for this!!!!!#daddddddddddd #captain dad #I AM SAD #why are all the good ones dying??????#take Woody Allen!#aight imma head out #andre braugher #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #captain holt

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agonisingpain · 7 months

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I hide the darkest parts of myself but honestly I just wish I could show them to someone without fearing judegment / misunderstanding / scaring them / guilt and shame / consequences

#depressing quotes #quotes #i am sad #personality disorder #sad quote #vent #vent post #sad thoughts #tw depressing thoughts #venting

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levitiquee · 7 months

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Touching Levi for the first time, taking it slow, just the barest graze of your fingers against his cheek but his eyes are squeezed shut and his breathing heavy and he has pure agony etched into his face because holy shit, he might just break.

Because you were so soft. So gentle with him, so good, so slow, so kind.

And the way you were looking at him, with so much love, it's too much for him, he thought. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve you.

And no one in his life has ever touched him like that.

For the first time, he realized, physical contact doesn't always have to be followed by pain. It's not always a punch in the face or fingers around his throat. Sometimes, it can be this.

And he's praying, praying to what or for what, he isn't sure, but he's begging, he's fucking begging, dear goddamn world, don't take this away from him, let him have this.

And 'Humanity's strongest' was a joke, he thought. Because right now he feels as though he's made of glass, cracking under your bare fingers.

Touching Levi for the first time and he never lets you go after that

#i am sad #and I crave physical affection #:c #I want to hug him #aot #levi ackerman #levi #captain levi #levi heichou #snk #aot fandom #levi x reader #levi thoughts

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agentoutofdiaz · 1 year

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#eddie diaz #eddiediazedit #eddiediazdaily #911edit #911 #911 spoilers #9-1-1 #ryan guzman #ryanguzmanedit #myedits*#i am sad #i wanted to see more of eddie in this ep

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ghost-bison · 2 months

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Guys I had a thought

Tenth Doctor = the Little Prince

Rose = ...well, the Rose

Donna = the fox

Bonus:

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markantonys · 6 months

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THE WHEEL OF TIME | 2x08

#wotedit #wot #wot on prime #the wheel of time #lews therin #ishamael #rand al'thor #mine #wot show spoilers #shoutout to my dad for catching this parallel!#i am SAD

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zqmbiescorpse · 1 year

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CLEANING YOUR BLOODY WOUNDS

lottie matthews x female reader

a/n: episode seven absolutely destroyed me, i'm pretty sure i spent half of it crying. i cannot handle having to wait a week to see if lottie's alright, i am stressinnnngggg. anyways, here's me pretending that she is! (i'm extremely delusional.)

summary: established relationship, lottie gets the shit beaten out of her, fluffy ig, its kinda short

warnings: mentions of violence, a lot of injury, lottie is totally okay with the fact that she was almost beaten to the death

word count: 1.3k

(masterlist)

She hadn't woken up yet.

Your knees grew sore, the flesh pressing into the hard wooden floor beneath you, but no matter the severity of the ache, you were not leaving her side. That was a fact. You didn't care about the pain jolting your joints or about chores that needed for filling or whether you would be eating tonight, the only significance to your life, at that moment, was Lottie.

The concept of time was a genuine mystery that you didn't bother to solve, it could've been minutes or hours since you last saw Shauna, the girl had fled the cabin after pummeling Lottie's face into a grotesque mush. You would remain in the exact position, knelt at the bed, all night if needed - without even snatching a wink of sleep for yourself if that's what it came down to.

At least she wasn't dead. Though her soft, usually pale skin dotted with rosey pink specs had been corrupted by a brutal crimson swelling in vicious lumps, there was still a rise and a fall present in her chest. Each unconscious twitch and shake your girlfriend expressed signalled that she was alive, regardless, the distressed movements caused the pit in your stomach to expand, and you wondered if the battered brunette was reliving the agony of the incident in her dreams.

The urge to reach out and caress her bruised body was a strong however stupid one, instead, you opted to run the freezing, soggy rag over her cheeks once more to help the swollen areas recover. Whilst you freshened her up, you whispered positive reassurances, telling her that she was going to be okay, somewhat simultaneously relaxing yourself, reducing your own stress levels as a bonus.

It was impossible to fathom how you'd managed to do absolutely nothing to stop the savagery. Stood there, watching horrified and devastated to see Lottie offer herself up like that, happily receiving a beating for the sake of Shauna's emotions. The lack of noise during it intensely disturbed you, even with all the continuous punches and kicks, you didn't recall a single scream. In fact, no one said anything.

You understood that not everyone appreciated her odd chants and offerings, hell, you didn't even understand it properly either. To be brought so close to death because of that was obviously undeserved. Something could've been done to have prevented things from getting wildly out of control. The blame you kept shovelling onto yourself was suffocating, burying you. What sort of girlfriend simply observes as her lover gets knocked to the floor and attacked barbarically by a crazy girl bearing an overwhelming amount of anger? You felt bad for Shauna, but you couldn't excuse this.

"You're thinking so… loud," the injured girl stuttered and coughed between the broken words, a slight delight in her voice.

Lottie stirred, her eyes slowly opening - adjusting to the swells preventing them from working how they usually would. She had been laid on her side, toward you, thus you didn't neglect a single thing, panic immediately kicking now that she was awake.

"No no, don't try to move or get up, or anything," You commanded, shakily.

Underneath the wounds, Lottie's features were calm and gentle, a small smile grew on her lips despite the pain such a minor action caused.

"Is Shauna, is she, okay?" Lottie mumbled earnestly, never losing the melancholy grin.

You stared at her in utter shock; bewildered that Shauna was who she was most concerned about.

"Lottie, do you not remember what she did to you?" You whispered, loudly, mimicking a frustrated shout without actually raising your voice.

"She needed… it, we both know… that."

"But you nearly died! I don't care what she needs, we all need some kind of release." You spat, maybe too selfishly, "You didn't even fight back."

"Trust me… everything's okay, I'm happy about what Shauna did, please don't worry," She soothed, her calm tone juxtaposing your desperate one perfectly. "My wounds will heal and I have you, by my side, taking care of me, and that's a wonderful thing."

Lottie raised a trembling hand, ignoring your wide-eyed pleas to stay still and comfortable, cupping your face tenderly. Consequently, you broke out in a flush and tears began to prick, threatening to spill, something that you couldn't permit.

"I'm so sorry, Lottie." You sniffled, heartbroken at the affection you were receiving from someone who needed it more than you, "You shouldn't be putting any sort of strain on yourself in a critical condition."

A simple laughter blessed your ears, though confusing, it was the first time in months you'd heard such authentic cheeriness. You felt it was inappropriate considering the dreadful scenario, yet, your endearing girlfriend's content joy was contagious - your own wobbling lips contorted upwards, smiling through the tears.

"Although I am in a lot of pain…it's only temporary, who knows what could've happened… if Shauna's intense feelings were left to manifest any longer," Lottie explained, stroking away any wet drops that spilled over the edge of your eyes. It was a miracle that she could even spot them.

"I get why - you did it but, my god Lottie I hate seeing you hurt, can we just agree that it will never happen again, please."

The brunette sensed a newfound comprehension present in you, alongside a more relaxed approach to the conversation, which she appreciated. She didn't want you upset, it was the last thing she wanted, however, she had needed you to see where she was coming from.

"I love you a lot," You sighed, running your hands through her tangled hair, then leaning over to kiss her atop her head.

"I can't… promise anything but I assure you that I will be more careful in the future," She admitted wholeheartedly, her honesty charmed you, hence why you placed another gentle kiss, this time, on her aforementioned palm that was cupping your skin; apparently it was stuck to you since Lottie hadn't moved it once.

"I love you too," she added cheesily, the muscles in her mouth pushing the limit now as she beamed brightly.

There was a lot of relief radiating off of you, the tremor in your hardworking hands settled, a detail that your girlfriend noticed, prompting her to squirm into a new position on one of the few man-made beds that the old cabin possessed. Her back carefully pressed into the feather mattress and the nested blankets surrounding her.

You assumed that Lottie was ready to drift back to sleep, believing that this was your cue to leave, you prepared yourself to face the rest of the girls lingering around the cabin. Due to the sheer amount of time you'd spent absent from the group tending to Lottie, you hadn't experienced any confrontation from Shauna after what she did, sparking anxiety. You'd have to see her eventually.

"Don't," Lottie spoke up, "You need to rest just as much as I do."

The compassion compelled you to obey her recommendation. She was right, you were exhausted.

"Okay, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not getting in there with you either. You need the space," You compromised, regarding the bed's limited width, you weren't about to force her out of it for your own sake.

"You're always welcome," Lottie chuckled, her eyes shutting, "Lay your head on my chest if that's what you'd like."

Actually, you were quite fond of the idea, your arms were set on the edge of the mattress and your head snuggled into her chest, not with too much force as you'd rather she wasn't hurt extra. Although your knees never got a break from digging into the rough floor, you were satisfied enough to let the desire for slumber overcome you - entwined with Lottie, your body heats mixed together to create a warm, loving haze that clouded around just the two of you, a suitable protection guiding you both into a deep, safe sleep.

#lottie matthews #fanfiction #x female reader #yellowjackets #yellowjackets season 2 #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #taissa turner #lottie matthews x reader #yellowjackets fanfic #yellowjackets thoughts #i am sad #lqbtq #new episode #natalie scatorccio #misty quigley

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slutforsilverfoxes · 5 months

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A very smol blurb inspired by the end of NCIS ep 11.2 so I can cope with my very big feelings (no spoilers, just discussion of our poor honey’s injury)

Pairing: Jethro Gibbs x wife!reader

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The door is unlocked and the lights are off when you come home which, normally, would be par for the course if not for the truck in the driveway with its hood still warm. Slipping inside and shaking off the fall chill, you drop your coat and keys by the door before stepping out of your shoes and making your way further into the house.

“Jay?” you call out into the darkness. “Y’here? You know I don’t do well with jump scares.”

“Better brace yourself then,” he counsels, and you can tell now that he’s in the kitchen. The small overhead light flickers to life, and you take in a shuddering breath, followed by an eloquent, “Son of a fucking whore, who did this to you?” Shaky fingers reach up to graze the fresh bruise blooming on his face, and you wince at the sight of multiple cuts and his bloodshot left eye. “I bet that fucker’s regretting messing with you, huh?”

“Easy, love,” he murmurs with a smile, delicately taking your wrist in his hand and brushing his lips over your knuckles. “Your mouth could rival a sailor’s.”

“Oorah and all that jazz,” you fire back easily. “Answer the question, Jethro.”

“Which one?”

“Jethro.”

“Name’s not important. Locked up and taken care of,” he finally provides as he pulls you into a hug. You nuzzle into his solid chest and tease, “Bet he’s got an uglier mug than you now, hm?”

“You married this ugly mug.”

“And aren’t I just the luckiest gal in the world?” You guide him over to the small table and gently nudge his shoulder. He takes the hint and settles into the chair, finally releasing some tension from the day while you card your fingers through his hair. “I’ll get you some ice.”

Tilting his head back to rest against your tummy, he looks up at you with the closest thing to puppy dog eyes he can muster in his current state. “Make it a beer? It’ll be a twofer.”

“Got it,” you answer, sliding milk and eggs aside to reach for the six pack of your husband’s favorite local brew. You hear the phone ringing as you extract yourself from the fridge, and when you return to his side, Jethro heaves a sigh before lifting the device to his ear with a quiet, “Hey, Ziver.”

You twist off the cap to his beer before placing it down by his hand, then give his shoulder a firm squeeze and press a delicate kiss to his cheek. He places his hand over your own and squeezes back, looking up to meet your gaze with a small smile.

After one more brush of your lips against his temple, you head upstairs to shower and change. He’ll come find you when he’s ready.

__________

LJG tags 🖤 @ilovemark1951 @doctorwhofan24

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ihearnocomplaints · 5 months

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Longing is one of the most painful emotions, I think.

Rb >>>> like

(tags are vvvv appreciated and give me motivation)

Here’s everything I drew in the hour and a half-ish that I had.

#felt angst last night #so i drew my thoughts today #not exactly how I was hoping #but its okay nonetheless #complaintsconcepts #angst #dca #dca fandom #sun #sun fnaf #i love him #anyway today i spilled half of the coffee i got on myself and i can’t change because im at work so now I just smell like coffee #i am sad #sigh

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soloorganaas · 1 year

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Sirius, bipolar disorder and 1981

I’ve held the headcanon for a while that Sirius being bipolar was a fundamental part of his breakdown in 1981, that led to him believing Remus was the spy and failing to prevent Lily and James’s deaths, as well as ultimately being the reason Remus was persuaded that Sirius (not entirely consciously) betrayed James and committed mass-murder. so I’ve laid out all my thoughts about this below

Sirius’s breakdown leading up to Oct 31, 1981

bipolar episodes of mania/depression are not responses to external events in the same way regular depression or anxiety are. they will inevitably happen at some point however stable your life is. however, a traumatic event can sometimes trigger a period of mania/depression that spirals beyond the actual event itself

there is no doubt that Sirius was experiencing compound trauma by 1981. there isn’t any specific canon as to when he became involved in the Order, but we know by this point he was deep in the fight and presumably had been for around a year or more. he was living with the constant, extreme stress of being in potentially fatal missions, as well as the risk of losing his loved ones who were doing the same

Sirius’s friendship with James and the impact the danger he faced had on Sirius during this period is fundamental to his breakdown. James was central to his conception of safety and stability. he rescued him emotionally and later physically from his abusive home, and gave him a new loving one. without James, Sirius doesn’t have a home - and therefore the world simply doesn’t make sense. there’s no doubt Sirius would have been living in absolute terror of having his world quite literally torn apart. this would have been magnified tenfold when the specific threat to Harry and therefore James and Lily became apparent, and Sirius had to watch as a war against a fascist terror group became a defense of his best friend’s family being hunted by an unimaginably powerful dark wizard

part of bipolar disorder is the subconscious knowledge that you will at some point crash. there is a sense of inevitability of your world falling apart, like constantly living in a movie waiting for the third act tragedy. for Sirius, watching his world quite literally fall apart, this would undoubtedly have triggered that underlying fear. he is expecting the worst, knowing that it’s going to happen, because it always has

Sirius believing Remus was the spy

Sirius’s struggle with bipolar disorder would lead to his seemingly irrational suspicion of Remus for two main reasons

first is that the chronic instability and tendency toward self-destruction that Sirius experiences as a part of bd is inseparable from his relationship with Remus. breaking up in the heat of manic or depressive episodes is a common bipolar symptom. Remus with his own trauma and mental health issues would never be capable of creating enough stability for the both of them as their relationship formed, and adding into that the struggles of being a gay man in the 70s/80s, they never developed a strong foundation as teens

so the second point is how putting this under the pressure cooker of war doomed them from the outset. without external support or stability, Sirius was always going to spiral down, and Remus would always be unable to cope. by 1981 Sirius is overwhelmed with fear over losing James and utterly unable to think rationally. he’s being pushed to the brink on Order missions. he’s convinced his the world is going to crash down around him. he’s lashing out at the people closest to him and destroying things just for the misguided feeling of control. Remus is watching this happen but is also swept up in his own chronic terror and mental instability, and is utterly unable to understand what Sirius is doing or going through, let alone try and stop it. they are both crashing down around each other, with the very fear they have of losing each other tearing them further apart

at some point I think Sirius simply convinces himself its Remus - because he’s the one hurting him so much with his own part in destroying their relationship, because if anyone is going to tear his world to pieces it would be the one he’s most vulnerable to, because if you want to bring about the destruction by yourself of course you’d pick the person you can hurt the most, because the world is stealing everything from him so of course it would still the one beautiful, tender, miraculous thing he has

Remus being persuaded Sirius betrayed James and Lily

I’m writing ‘persuaded’ deliberately, because there is no way that Remus would instantly believe Sirius could betray James or even murder Peter and a crowd of muggles. they had been friends for over ten years, living in each other’s pockets and they knew each other inside and out. they had built incredibly deep and meaningful bonds as a group. Remus would struggle to believe that Sirius could kill Peter, but he may in the end come to accept it. but he could never, ever have watched Sirius and James for ten years and believe he would consciously betray him

instead, I think Remus came to believe through the persuasion of others (Dumbledore specifically, particularly if you go with the idea he had an interest in keeping Sirius in Azkaban) that Sirius had a breakdown and acted with such reckless self-destruction he inadvertently brought about James and Lily’s deaths. Remus had been dragged down in Sirius’s spiral for a year or longer; if they were by that point together, he would have seen Sirius at his most vulnerable and raw, and understood better than anyone his capacity for manic, irrational self-destruction. he’d seen Sirius do similar things the entire time he’d known him - the prank, for example, which easily fits into a similar theme. Remus knows Sirius is capable of this, he knows he was truly out of his mind with fear

and I think that’s where the anger comes from (aside from fury over him murdering Peter and other innocent people) - that Sirius had spent so long causing harm and never ever learned, that he’d refused to confront his own demons and take responsibility for his destructive tendencies, and in the end it had torn their worlds apart. the fire that had made him so passionate, so full of life, so brave, so loving and so devoted had also made him uncontrollably deadly - it’s not hard to imagine that when Remus more than anyone experienced one side so intensely, he could imagine what the other could lead to

I, personally, don’t think even in a manic state Sirius would ever come close to betraying James. but I think that for Remus, a terrified, traumatised 21 year old who’d lost both his parents and his best friends, had spent three years caught up in a war between two sides that both wanted him dead, and had watched his relationship with the love of his life break down in front of him, it’s a realistic conclusion to come to

Conclusion

mental health issues are intrinsically wound up with Sirius’s story and the tragedies he experiences. i think it’s a disservice to his character to overlook them, especially when fic takes only a shallow look at the sadder, messier parts of his life because it has a tendency towards simply trauma porn. bipolar disorder is my particular headcanon, and I’ve detailed a strong argument for it, but there are plenty of other valid interpretations as well. whichever way Sirius is written, though, at least complying somewhat with canon, the impact of mental health on the complexity of his character and story can’t be overlooked

the other side of the coin to this tragedy is the beauty of Sirius’s escape, formation of his relationship with Harry, and his reunion and reconciliation with Remus. Sirius’s fiery mania is turned into a positive, enabling the incredible feats of breaking out of Azkaban, and living on the rough for two years whilst evading the Ministry’s hunt. it also of course sees older, wiser versions of Sirius and Remus who can look their own and each other’s demons in the eye, face up to them with honesty and courage, and build the relationship they should have had all along.

#i am Sad #and deep in my PoA feels #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #bipolar disorder #bipolar sirius black #ch: we choose who we really are #hp #hp meta

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sequencefairy · 6 days

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Ya know, I was gonna be done. I spent hours yesterday talking friends off ledges when people were harassing them for being excited about the watcher announcement, or when their anxiety ballooned while watching the never-ending fucking tide of absolutely entitled morons kept piling on and on and on and spreading baseless bullshit every where.

But like, I cannot be done.

Because I am just so fucking disappointed. I'm so fucking sad to be sitting here watching people writhe with glee over the reactions to the announcement, and fill their little vengeful mugs in anticipation of watching the fall of a fledgling independent media company they are literally standing around lighting matches to throw onto the pyre.

Y'all make me sick.

You profess to love these guys, to want to see them succeed, to enjoy the stuff they make for you. You beg and demand and scream for more time with Ryan and Shane and bitch constantly during periods of the year when it's not Ghost Files or Puppet History time. You complain to anyone who will listen about how this is a betrayal, as if they're your fuckin' friends who you know personally.

News flash, they're not. They never were. You're parasocially attached to the plush puppet and the guy who sticks his hand up it in a way that is detrimental to your critical thinking skills and you know what? Fucking don't subscribe to the streamer. Who fucking wants you around anyway?

I would bet American cash money that none of you have EVER had to sit with your staff in a meeting and figure out how you were going to keep your company afloat. That none of you have ever had to decide to take a risk like this, in this kind of economic climate and be cautiously excited about what it might mean for you and then to have this absolute viciousness being the response.

I'm really sorry that for some people the price is just out of their reach. I completely understand wanting to join in on something and being unable to because of the money. The amount of times I've had to say no to doing something fun because I just didn't have the cash is not a small amount. It sucks. It really sucks.

But you know, the emotionally mature response to not being able to afford something is to be like, well is there a way that I can save up for this? Something else I can cut out? And if the answer is no, then, unfortunately, sometimes, you just have to be left out. This is a fact of life.

Do you people also get bitchy with artists who charge commission prices that mean they can afford to live?

The comparisons of Watcher to non-network television streamers are laughable. Like, Watcher is absolutely not on the same level of operating profitability as other streaming services. They are an independent production studio that gives a shit about making content that they like to make and taking care of their employees and the other people who are associated with them. And in order for them to continue to make the stuff we like (Ghost Files, Puppet History, et al), we're gonna have to buy-in.

Seeing people say with their full chests that they should just fire people? Are you fucking hearing yourselves? Who should they fire? Their queer employees? The people who write and do sound and edit? The people who make Ghost Files or Puppet History look the way it looks? The people who are the reason the shows work?

And, I'm sorry, but if you think that the solution here is that they should just ... make worse shows, I don't even know what to say to you at all. Sorry that Steven and Ryan and Shane wanna do more than lifeless unsolved copies for the rest of their lives. Go watch fucking unsolved if you want that, watcher has always wanted to do more, do better, make bigger things. And you know what? They are for sure allowed to do that.

I am also utterly enraged by the racism. I cannot even imagine what it's like to be any Watcher employee of colour today, watching the hate and the cruelty roll in. Y'all are just fucking mean, and gross, and I hope you all walk on legos in the dark in bare feet.

Everyone who is acting like this is some fucking personal betrayal needs to go smoke a bowl or do a bong rip and chill the fuck out.

#things jess says #i did not sleep for shit last night #i am exhausted #i am sad #i am disappointed #i am enraged by the racism #by the way that people are out here being their worst selves over six fucking dollars #over some videos they feel entitled to because they were once accessible for free #breaking news but shit costs money #i'm sorry you live in a fantasy land where it doesn't #it must be really nice

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tigerlilla · 2 years

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imagine moving into the ua dorms and coming downstairs to the living room at night only to find bakugo sitting on the couch watching old news footage of his fights. you sit on the couch and read your book each night and he slowly gets used to your presence. he even starts putting the kettle on for you before you come down. when you fall asleep on the couch, he’ll take the book out of your hands, place the book mark in it, and leave it on the coffee table. he’ll wash out your mugs and cups and make sure you always have a blanket. when he knows you had a rough day, he’ll watch a sitcom just to cheer you up.

NOTE: i am turning this into a fic read it here 😭

#you guys know why i’m acting like this #i am sad #bakugo katuski #bakugo imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugou drabble #bnha bakugou

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agonisingpain · 7 months

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I opened up to you about how I was feeling.

You asked me to do so. I never do that but I thought this time could have been different. But your words and your behavior just gave me another reminder of why I don't do that.

I don't want to open up to anyone ever again. And I know this is what I always say but this time I really mean it. I don't want to feel that pathetic and misunderstood again. I'm gonna keep everything to myself, I can deal with my problems by myself.

I don't need your so called "help".

#depressing quotes #quotes #i am sad #personality disorder #vent #sad quote #vent post #sad thoughts #tw depressing thoughts #venting

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if-i-hate-the-headline · 2 months

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you know what makes me so fucking sad every time i think about it?

that jason died thinking that he would see leo again in the afterlife as far as i'm aware he still thinks leos dead?? so he never gets to see his best friend again

that shit is sad

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #the heroes of olympus #jason grace #leo valdez #valgrace #unapologetic valgrace shipper here #this is so sad #like this shit is sad #i am sad #i am very sad #pine talks

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ariseastrae · 8 months

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Me when ao3 is down: