#idk feelings are weird

[ira-sairain]

This is kind of personal, but does anyone else feel disgusted when you find out other ppl like you?

Like it's just a pretty visceral feeling where I feel dirty all over.

I rejected a friend recently and we decided to stay friends(big improvement for me cause I used to just straight up ghost people or even quit jobs)but I can tell they still like me because no one finds me that funny when they don't and I just. I'm starting to hate them a bit and I really don't want to because I know that's not their fault?

For the longest time I just felt general awkwardness, but after a particularly bad experience with a guy who wouldn't take no I'm afraid it's tainted every possible reaction after.

Instead of fear I feel disgust, which is worse because then on top of my regular feelings I also have to fear guilt from rationally knowing it's not their fault if they catch feelings.

Idk, does anyone have any stories to commiserate? I feel like ppl would look at me like I was crazy if I said this irl.

#i dont like labels #but in this case im going to have to tag y'all because youre probably the closest ppl who could understand this 😭 #aroace #arospec #aromantic #acexual #i also kind of think humans suck in general so idk if my pesimism is afecting this as well #i also think i used to have crushes when i was younger but then willed myself to pretend like they ever existed #cuz i was afraid of having feelings??? #idk feelings are weird #give me your wisdom #lgbtq #gay #lesbian #mental health #psychology #therapy

[red-hair-and-pronouns]

Platonic attraction is so wild it's like. Your hair looks fantastic. Please talk to me please talk to me please talk to me. I lose the few social skills I have when you're around. If you asked me to date you I'd turn you down. You're so cool, and I want you to think I'm also cool. I wish I could spend more time with you. The thought of kissing you, holding hands, etc feels gross. I want to be your friend so badly it feels like I will explode. I don't have a crush on you.

#their name is Z they are SO cool i have a major fucking squish on them but it's??? decidedly not romantic?? #idk feelings are weird #also i'm worried they'll think i have a crush on them just because i act extra awkward when trying to talk to them #also worried they have a crush on me but unclear if they just talk somewhat flirtatiously with everyone #further information needed for a conclusion

[kobonus]

i wanted to post this on twitter but i felt like it was too mean

#funny #idk what to tag this as but i feel weird leaving no tag

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanny has a FNAF game question for Michael..

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #fnaf vanessa #fnaf vanny #fnaf #sister location #security breach #fnaf help wanted #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #a very unserious comic idea that appeared in my head #Michael is just proving he’s THE GUY #must be weird for Vanny to learn about the whole Afton thing thru game development etc #and then meeting the guy it’s based off of #The pixel art was spot on to Michael carries his energy #idk how Michael feels about all the games about his life #he’s probably just past it like nothing he can do now 💀 #why not embrace his status BAHA

[aroacecatto]

i i experienced platonic/alterous(idrk) attraction again recently and man it's been so long since my last squish i was so thrown off and confused. like i had a mini crisis for a second questioning my aroace identity. then i calmed down and like wait no it's not sexual or romantic attraction, this is exactly the same as last time, i just wanna chat and spend time with this person

i think a lot of my confusion comes from the fact it's always towards the opposite sex tho, ive never felt this way towards women and heteronormativity makes u think u have a crush 🫠

#this squish is a lot less intense/strong as the last one tho #idk feelings are weird #gonna be reading abt platonic attraction now

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

#dc comics #dc #damian wayne #dick grayson #talia al ghul #batfamily #dc robin #nightwing #anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther #like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it #they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc #but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself #anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did #it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios #also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul #you will always be famous to me #son of the demon origin...bwahhh #anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic #but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up #so go look at that as well #anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy #i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!) #so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!) #when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself #it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on #I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue #i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :] #idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups #so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat #(it's me they should hire me. please DC i have ideas listen to my red hood pitch PLEASE-)

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

#DONT COMMENT ON THE BACKGROUND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW #anyway this is day 1. they take a bus. the bakugo household has fishing gear so ´deku is wearing bakugo's onesoe (?) and bakugo is wearing #his dad's. and notices he has grown :') #anyway they take a BUS and don't feel like doing this at all it's awkward for so many reason #also trying to relax after everything is neurologically just really hard they might be hyperivgilant dik #and there's so much they never got to unpack bnut they have to and they have to start somewhere and with someone #deku makes that flower crown while bakugo preps everything and they both look at it and are thrown back into their childhood 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ #and at first they just sit and wait for the bavarian fish to bite (rody should make a cameo tbh) but then bakugo breaks the iceeee. #and he starts with their moms because their moms have been such a stubbron connection between these two :') #and deku answers with the usual 'good :) how's your mom :)?' and to everyone's surprise he actually opens up #and tells deku about his mom's insomnia because she watched her son die (that shit was live streamed tpo 10 bnha tweets btw) #idk i love to think of their moms being a very easy subject to connect through i think it's easier for them that way to be more vulnerablei #and then some fish biteeeeeeeeeeee #but like 3 small ones so they have to gather berries and mushrooms and make stew (dw there's an aldi this is bavaria after all) #but yeah day 1 is a bit weird like it's just them in the woods with no distractions #which is so different from whatever went on during their 1st year of high school #don't read this i will throw up i just need this somewhere this is my public scrapbook #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #the flower crown on their knees makes this a bit homosexual but fishing is always homosexual im not fighting against that #au: #fishing

[diabolichare]

Is this courtship?

Danny is going to Gotham for his scholarship.

Good news! There's another halfa in the city, and he seems to be a good guy. Bad news: the nearest path to his university is through that halfta's haunt. He could take the long way around, but the costs would be more than his budget can handle, and he'd like to avoid dealing with a pissed-off Red Hood.

Hopefully the offerings will be enough to sate his annoyance (and help maybe, god that man has the most malnourished core he's ever seen).

Jason is getting incredibly confused over the strange gift baskets that keep appearing on his patrol routes.

#dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #dc #dcu #my post #my prompts #jason todd #danny phantom #danny fenton #meet cute #dead on main #or not idk #its up to you #hc Crime Alley loves Hood #they give him stuff alot #so jason doesn't suspect the random gift baskets on rooftops #but it get weird seeing the same basket everywhere #woven basket with green ghost patterned cloth #its cute but it gave off a funky feeling #food is hella nice tho #slow burn #like roasting a duck #danny: glad that he hasnt offended the other halfta #jason: *getting some weird but not bad vibes everytime danny goes through Crime Alley* this is fine #batfam: half happy that jason is getting courted(?) half worry bc this admirer keep finding where jason is #diabolichare #is this courtship

[wretchie]

im doing this again bc im obsessed with the human experience. also no one can stop me

#hyperspecific poll #again. lol #idk how weird most of these are?? im not sure of the weirdness threshold for a good hyperspecific poll if yk what i mean #also feel free to ask me abt any of this i love attention <3

[cannedpeachlover]

based on my experience of getting kicked out of every casino on the strip while having arcade follow me around like a child forced to watch their parent go bankrupt

#i know his dad died when he was a kid i just didnt feel like rewording this #also was gonna draw my oc but just decided to draw generic courier bc.. idk #feels weird posting so much here i must stay unknowable #but felt like tumblr nv fans might appreciate this #also everytime i lost caps i would punch arcade in the face out of anger #sorry mr gannon #fallout new vegas #courier six #arcade gannon #fnv #my art

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

#hobbies #writeblr #what stage of weirdness to write about hobbies on my hobby writing blog #although i know OBJECTIVELY i am a creative person #i often forget to label myself that bc i don't feel im an ARTISTIC person bc i don't do anything like that professionally #writing doesn't even feel like a hobby i think that surprises nobody for me to be like #it would be easier for me to stop . like. breathing. #which feels cheesy and trite but listen im running late for a meeting and all i really want to say is like #i couldn't even consider writing my hobby bc it makes my skin crawl bc it makes it sound like it's not important to me #bc we really devalue hobbies. like entirely. #it HAS to be a job. it must #also idk if this is clear but i personally get stuck in this space where i CANT create bc i am putting so much pressure on myself #to make it RIGHT #and im like ... idk i only have an hour #so probably shouldnt get involved in this thing

[ghostbeam]

I bet choso is so weird when he’s into u like u go out with friends and he just stares at u and it’s like that for weeks like he just doesn’t say anything to u first ever but he’s just. Always there he doesn’t really know what to do about it but he knows in his brain ur already his and like sometimes he’s next to u in the bar like on guard looking over your shoulder and u don’t even realize it until u turn around and more often than not he scares the shit out of you but eventually u get kind of used to him always being there and you’re not sure what changed or if anything ever did but now your leaning into him and letting him hold his arm across your chest protectively and sometimes he gets this scary look on his face when people look at you but honestly you don’t even mind it

#I think choso and u are dating and u don’t even know how it happened #hes Never asked u out or tried to take u on a date #but sometimes he just happens to be in the same place as u #I just think it’s never like formal #like it just happens #choso Just doesn’t know how to be normal abt it hes like #he’s just always there #and it feels right even if it is weird how he always shows up when ur out somewhere or holds onto u a little too tightly when u go out #and ummmmmm idk👁️👁️ #hes a weirdo………and it’s hot……… #ghost thoughts

[chocosnowflake0]

feedin' time w/leader and the creepy ass leader's right hand

posting both versions cause i feel like both look good enough

#cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl fanart #fanart #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #its almost 1:30 am #gotta work tomorrow AAA #i like it but i also feel its lookin' weird #iDK #i just wanted to do some sunshineXtiredangry faces #myart #hotcocoasan

[forgettable-au]

Does Flowey exist in this au?

Yes, he does.

Everything's pretty much the same when it comes to the regular story in this AU. It's just the past, especifically Papyrus' past (wich we don't know much about to begin with) that changes

Actually Flowey is one of the main characters in the story! (the main story of this au is divided between the past before the game and a post-pacifist timeline:D)

He and Papyrus will have a fun dynamic

-some thought I had in tags behind the keep reading

Srry for the spelling mistakes in here but I can't go and fix tags because I would end up erasing everything😭tumblr struggles

#my hand is dying I drew all this so quickly lmaokajs #actually Flowey is there in the first concept art I did for this au akahsksj isn't that great #forgettable-au #(THIS MINI COMIC IS UNREALISTIC BTW I don't think flowey would just open up about his past to Papyrus #but like it would end up in a situation like this and I think that's funny) #this is mostly inspired by the weird pararallel that I accidentally created between Flowey and Papyrus #Flowey being someone who remembers being another person even tho Asriels been long gone he still feel like Asriel but is he really Asriel #and then in this case Papyrus is an ACTUAL remain of another person #the same body but not the same memories #when I first was developing the story I noticed that and thought it would be a cool detail to acknowledge #different yet similar in a way situations idk #answered ask #undertale au #papyrus #papyrus!gaster #undertale #papyrus is gaster #flowey #undertale comic

[poisonouspastels]

I think a lot about the fact that Herobrine as a creepypasta initially was not malicious at all. Like literally he was just some guy who made very specific tunnels, cut leaves off trees and built pyramids in your world, all weird things but really not harmful. Like his worst crime was telling someone on a forum to fuck off when they kept talking about him. But then with time there's been all this additional detail added on like the redstone torches and traps and shrines and he's seemingly gotten more aggressive as an entity within writing and other media. Like he'll actively go out of his way to hinder the player in game or in some depictions irl in some way. All of this is to say I think the more we tried to figure out Herobrine and shit the more we pissed him off a little. Give the man some space I'm sure he's tired of the 12 year olds trying to summon him every other day. EDIT: Please check out my Minecraft AU if you like MC stuff like this, I put a lot of work into it with my partner.

#minecraft #mineblr #herobrine #creepypasta #wheres that one ai greentext about herobrine. it feels relevant to this #i think its really funny that canon herobrine is literally just some guy who does weird shit but isnt really harmful #but all the more malicious stuff is purely fanon that we've for the most part accepted as a community #idk this is why i wanna do an animatic with him and Groda (the creepypasta one) #bc i think the stark differences between the two really make it all the more apparent and also makes for a funny dynamic