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sourpatchys · 3 months

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Title: Life in Carnet

Word count: 2.2k

Rating: PG-13, fluff. F!reader

Time: after Overhaul, before PLF

Summary: An issue has developed. Though, you can’t say you mind much. The future is yours.

A/n: This was supposed to be much longer and I may still add a second part later on, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for much too long and I decided it was finally time to just post it and let it out into the world!

Masterlist guidelines

—

The terrors of the underworld were almost too much for you at times. Watching over your shoulder just to be sure a knight in shining armor wouldn't pop out and slice you under the guise of misplaced justice.

There was no justice in a world so cruel. The arms of the masses kept those unfavorable in a tube. Never to be loved, never to be seen or heard. Though that tube would grow, freaks of nature holding hands inside the vessel, ready to break the glass.

It was almost poetic, knowing that loneliness could never touch you, it could only stand by and watch as you desecrated its makeshift grave.

You were not lonely— and you never would be again.

The deadly hands of the misunderstood held you close, a warm embrace that shunned all the coldness and misfortune in the world. You were like royalty, standing above those who were nothing but pawns ready to die for the cause.

You were not ready to die, you had finally spread your wings— you were ready to live.

And who better to stand by your side than the King of demise, Tomura Shigaraki.

In his own way, he had become the very thing he hated most— a symbol of peace. He gave hope to those the world had shamed, giving a reason to live to the ones left to rot in the gutters.

Hero's couldn't save everyone— Hero's didn't want to save everyone. Anyone who goes against their morals is doomed to suffer.

It pained you to see the children left to die on the streets, the addicts that had been deemed lost causes, and the broken who were left to crumble. You could see a piece of yourself in all of them, their rose tented glasses had been shattered and they were left to cut themselves on the glass.

Tomura didn't care much for any of them, and yet he had still managed to replace that in which had been broken.

He cared for the league, for the posey he had created with his own two hands. And he cared for you. The woman he saw cursing the world with blood stained hands.

Your introduction to the league wasn't pretty. You were dirty and untamed— having just taken the life of someone you held dear— there was darkness in your eyes.

No one asked you questions, no one made you feel like a freak. You became their healer— using your quirk to its fullest potential, never once holding back.

Your ability was known as the 'Touch of life'. Originally, you had hated your quirk. Being pawned off from person to person, forced to heal strangers who saw you as an object more than a person. Growing up you weren't allowed to attend school, forced to stay home and work— not a dime going into your pocket.

People were supposed to want to help people. That's what you had been told over and over again. You couldn't complain, you couldn't fight back or refuse to help.

You didn't want to help anymore.

The league never made you heal their scrapes and bruises, only asking for your services when it was absolutely necessary. You finally felt free— free to be a real human being.

And then Shigaraki, a man usually so careful with his hands, had sliced his palm. You couldn't even remember how— the memory had long since faded away. You grabbed him without thinking, taking his entire hand into your own, stitching the skin back together with a ray of light.

That's how you learned you were immune to decay. Your body fighting against his quirk so quickly it was at if he didn't have one at all.

And that's how you learned you loved your quirk after all.

Once it became apparent, he couldn't keep his hands off of you. He was like a wild animal hunting its prey— a touch starved villain feeling for the first time.

He was gentle with you, holding you close, running his calloused hands up and down your sides, forever in awe at the feel of your skin on his own. Awkward and untamed, vibrating with uncertainty and longing for more.

His kisses felt like fireworks, they seared into your skin, dangerous and yet oh so wonderful. He was addicted to you, and soon enough you were just as addicted to him.

Your relationship had no title— though with the way his scared lips would trail up your throat, nipping and pleading— you were sure it was love just the same.

Regardless of the tender kisses and soft touches, Shigaraki was still a deadly man. The king of the underworld, the high ruler of chaos.

So when you saw those glaring, unforgiving, bright pink lines, you found yourself being swallowed whole.

Your body was shaking, from fear or joy you couldn't be sure. It was unrealistic to bring a child into the world, especially when that world was crumbling— when the father was the one crumbling it.

You couldn't hold back a smile though, your anxieties fading quickly at the thought of a future. Placing your life giving hands over your abdomen— it felt right. You finally— undeniably— felt whole.

Dabi was the first one to notice you after you'd left the makeshift restroom, his piercing blue eyes looking you up in down with a frenzy.

"You look creepier than usual."

The rest of the leagues eyes met your own, their own curious glances boring into your soul.

"I have no idea what you mean by that— but I feel like I should be offended." You mocked a scoff, cocking your eyebrow in amusement.

Toga laughed, sitting up straight and tapping the cold cement floor beside her, urging you to sit with her. "You do look a little brighter than usual!"

You took the invitation, a small smile still grazing your lips. It was impossible to fully contain yourself— you were sure you'd explode if you had to reel in all of your facial expressions.

"I just got some good news is all— I wouldn't worry about it."

"Did that 12 handed freak finally propose or something?"

A small snort left your lips, "No, not to my knowledge. Speaking of— where is he?"

"Ohhh, so it does have to do with him!" Toga wiggled her eyebrows, giggling to herself.

Your relationship with Shigaraki wasn't a secret. Neither of you had said anything to anyone, but you weren't actively hiding it either— it just was.

Giving the teen a gentle shove you allowed yourself to let out a soft laugh of your own, "doesn't everything have to do with him?"

You got a strong mumble of agreement from the group, their annoyed expressions almost making you laugh fully.

"He said he'd be back before nightfall." Dabi finally metered, "Then again, who knows?"

Humming in response you decided to sit tight, pulling a heavily water damaged book out of your backpack.

— — —

Somewhere along the pages of Prince Charming finally realizing the girl of his dreams was only a few feet away— you had dozed off.

It wasn't often you got the privilege of sleep, the constant traveling and change of pace was hard on your body and mind. So being shaken awake wasn't exactly something you'd normally let slide— but seeing those carmine eyes so full of worry, you decided it wasn't a hill worth dying on today.

"Good morning." You sighed, slowly blinking the harsh tingling of your sleep deprived eyelids away.

Tomura wasn't amused by your lackluster approach, his body basically caging you in from where you sat, his eyes growing darker by the second.

"How are you feeling?"

At first his question confused you— your dreams still drifting away as reality tried to take over. Oh yes, that's right— he'd known you hadn't been feeling well.

If you weren't so sleepy you'd probably be more embarrassed over the fact that you had in fact— only grabbed a handful of pregnancy tests and booked it out of the closest convenience store. You hadn't even tried to get anything else.

A giggle left your lips as you leaned forward and gave your captor a kiss on the cheek, "it's fine don't worry about it."

Sighing he shifted so he was sitting beside you, his hand immediately grabbing yours. He loved holding your hand— you weren't sure if it was just to remind himself that he could or if it was lasting deprivation from being touched starved for so many years— but you couldn't find it in yourself to care, so long as he never let go.

"You haven't been eating right."

It was a statement meant to guilt you, to force you to tell him every single thing that's been bothering you— to outline your sickness in a bullet point list so he could take care of you.

"Is that so?" You turned to him with a raised brow, daring him to continue on with his spiel.

He, ever so observant, took the bait and ran with it.

"You can't keep anything down, you're light headed, and you're way too exhausted for everything to be fine." His voice broke a bit at the end, and with good reason. Not being in good health while simultaneously living on the streets isn't exactly a good combo.

He cared about you too much to let anything bad happen. After dealing with the yakuza he'd slowed down entirely, refusing to move too fast or too far until he knew exactly what needed to be done— all because you weren't feeling good. He'd never say it out loud— but it was easy to tell.

"It's not something I'll die from, modern medicine will make sure of that."

Turning his head and looking you up and down, he had a borderline disgusted look on his face.

"You've been sick for how long now? And you've shown no signs of getting better."

You hummed, putting your hand on your chin and pretending to think. "Yeah I'd say it's been a good two months now."

"This isn't a joke."

Giving him a serious expression, you replied "I know it isn't, you definitely aren't going to think it's funny—the league might though."

He smacked his head against the back of the crate the two of you were leaning on, looking up at the broken ceiling. "So you are dying."

"I already told you I won't die." You punched his arm, "I'll just be out of commission for a little while."

"And what, exactly, does that mean?"

You let out a nervous laugh, leaning your head on his shoulder, "it means next time we go out we're gonna have to steal some prenatal vitamins."

You felt his body stiffen under you after a few minutes, his mind putting the dots together painfully slowly. This isn't exactly how you thought this conversation would go— though knowing Tomura, he'd never expected this conversation at all.

"Oh."

Afraid to see his expression, you kept your eyes towards the floor, squeezing his hand that was still wrapped in yours.

"Is that okay..?"

It was silent for a while, the sound of the other members snoring being the only noises keeping you sane. You knew this may not go over well, even as excited as you were, Tomura had an entire world to destroy, he had people to kill and a kingdom to build. How would a baby fit into that life?

Finally, you felt a large inhale from under you— taking that as permission you looked up to his face, surprised when you saw the fond look in his eyes and the soft smile on his lips.

"Yeah, that's more than okay."

You sat up, lifting your head off of his shoulder to look him directly in the eyes, awe, ever apparent, on your face.

"Really? You aren't mad?"

A dastardly grin made its way onto his face, his pearly white teeth glistening in the moonlight. Truly— it was a sight to behold.

"I don't see anything wrong with carrying on my lineage— especially not with you." He chuckled, a dark frenzy coming into his eyes, "besides, you hang back anyways, nothings going to hurt you."

You thought on his words. It was technically true, being a healer meant you weren't fighting so much as laying low and taking care of the aftermath— the only change you could see happening is you not being on the battlefield at all, staying at the base until they returned.

But that came with some risks on its own.

"You're taking this better than I thought you would."

That same gleam was in his eyes as he looked you over, his hands making their way around your waist as he pulled you into a tight embrace, inhaling the scent of your not-so-freshly washed hair.

"I suppose I should be nervous. But I always knew this was a risk." He took in a breath, a laugh passing through as he thought it over, "I'm ready for anything. I'm going to destroy this world, but that doesn't mean I can't make my own in the process."

The Tomura before you was different than the one you had fallen in love with. He was different than the one that pulled you off the street and gave you a reason to live— this Tomura was confident, this Tomura had a plan.

This Tomura knew what he wanted.

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ohmytyong · 10 months

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mark me in your heart [teaser]

PAIRING: drug dealer!mark x bartender!reader

GENRE: angst, smut, kinda friends with benefits au, bartender!renjun, best friend!renjun, action au

TEASER WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, explicit scene of drug use, use of pet names

WC: tba (TEASER WC: 1,2k)

‣[PLAYLIST]: 505 by arctic monkeys, bad omens by 5 seconds of summer, slow down by chase atlantic, why do you only call me when you're high? by arctic monkeys, a little death by the neighborhood, okay by chase atlantic

SUMMARY: when a sensitive and broken heart meets another one of the same nature, their instinctive reaction is to seek comfort in each other, and in order to heal themselves, they both need to be equally strong and willing to put all their broken pieces back together. but sometimes, some hearts aren't strong enough to be saved; the only way to save them is if the stronger heart of the two is willing to take the risk and try for the both of them, whatever it takes.

A/N: i forgot how long i've had this idea sitting in my drafts. i think it's time it saw the light of day and i think it's better if i share this with you

wanna be notified when i post the full fic? join the taglist here or send me an ask! | click here to join my general taglist

“Hey Renjun, pass me that glass” you said as you wiped the thick tall glass completely dry before you put it back on the shelf behind you. You were moving mechanically at this point, the exhaustion of the long night at the bar taking over your entire body. It was 5 in the morning and you had just barely managed to kick out some of the remaining drunk nobodies who were so wasted, that their toxic-infused brains couldn’t even give them the signals to move their own bodies.

Working at the bar wasn’t your dream job but it’s not as if you had a better choice. It was either a bartender or a stripper. Both of them sounded equally bad, so you decided to opt for the slightly better one. If you could even say it like that.

It wasn’t a particularly ideal job but it was enough to get you by. It earned you enough money to buy you food and pay the rent at the motel you were staying at, it got you as many free drinks as you needed to help your mind escape from all your worries and you also got to meet some relatively cool people, so that was somewhat good. The working hours weren’t such a big of an issue either, you couldn’t really sleep anyway. So you were fine with it.

Most nights, the bar usually closed at around 3 am. There wasn’t a set rule on this; it usually depended on how many customers there were and how much they were drinking. Your boss had suggested that you shouldn't keep the bar open all night long, so you kinda decided that it was best to close a few hours after midnight. You weren’t complaining about this though; the sooner it closed, the more time you’d have to get high with your co-worker Renjun at the alleyway behind the bar.

Unfortunately, tonight luck wasn’t on your side, as a group of friends kept on drinking more and more as the hours passed by, which meant that you and Renjun had to keep the bar open until later. You weren’t opposed to this idea, it only meant that you would earn a little bit more money. It was Renjun who started complaining, so he decided to take action into his own hands and practically dragged the drunks out of the bar.

This is how you ended up cleaning up the place this late, rather this early in the morning, with your co-worker. The two of you were too tired to speak, so neither of you made any efforts to spark up a conversation. You both just attended to your respective tasks, waiting for a specific somebody to show up.

Luck surely wasn’t on your side tonight. He would usually show up at around 3:30 am, right after the bar closed, and he would have all the stuff ready, just at the exact moment you needed it. Why was he late today?

It didn’t take a genius to understand that Renjun was clearly affected by the lack of the stuff. He moved around the place nervously, tugging at his hair and stomping his foot rhythmically. He was in a desperate need of it, and you would honestly lie to yourself if you said you didn’t need it half as much as Renjun did.

You put the last clean glass on the shelf behind you and went over to the storage room to grab a broom, so that you could clean the floor a bit while Renjun was still wiping the bar counters. As soon as you closed the door of the storage room, the little bell that hung above the bar’s front door rang with a tinkle and soon after it followed the sound of the so familiar footsteps you were waiting for all night.

“Hey kids, Santa’s here,” his voice resonated in the empty room as he waved a small transparent plastic bag that looked white because of its content. Renjun threw the handkerchief he was holding to the other side of the counter and dramatically jumped over it to go and hug the male who just entered. All of that just at the sight of the clear plastic bag with the snowy content.

“Mark, what took you so long my guy, I’m literally a dead man walking! Give this beauty to me,” Renjun exclaimed and snatched the plastic bag straight out of Mark’s hand. Mark smirked at what Renjun said and immediately started grinning at the sight of the boy’s eagerness.

Renjun went to sit on the bar stool closer to him and placed the bag on top of the counter he had just wiped clean. With slender fingers, he opened the plastic bag and dredged some of the content on the counter. With nervousness in his movements, he set the bag aside and shuffled through his back pocket to find his ID card. He started scattering the white dust all over the counter before he gathered all of it in a straight line with the help of his ID card. When he was satisfied with the result, he put his ID card back into his pocket, lowered his head to the level that his nose touched the cold surface of the counter, took a deep breath and snorted the entire line of crack, the product going straight up into his nostrils.

Renjun blinked several times before he slowly lifted his head. He scrunched his nose and wiped it with the back of his hand, his drowsy eyes looking surprisingly bright considering his state. “Man, whoever hasn’t done crack, never, they haven’t known the beauty of life yet” he chuckled. Mark smirked at Renjun’s comment and you couldn’t help but shake your head amusingly, a small smile creeping up at your face.

Renjun took the plastic bag with the rest of the cocaine and put it in his pocket. “This baby’s for me, thank you,” he amused and turned his heel towards the storage room. “Don’t come look for me, I’ll be right here. If I take too long to come out, then you should be concerned,” he said and closed the storage room door behind him; a scene that was surprisingly quite familiar to you.

You then set the broom down and walked towards Mark. “Hey” you whispered and Mark greeted you back in a low husky voice. “What took you so long? We were expecting you to come earlier” you asked him.

Mark shrugged and leaned his elbow against the counter. “I came by at our usual meeting hour and saw that you guys were still open. I couldn’t risk anyone seeing me so I decided to drop by later,” he said and you nodded in understanding.

“You do have more of those plastic bags on you, don’t you?” you asked him and he chuckled. “Of course I do, pretty. Let’s go outside and treat ourselves a bit, shall we?” he suggested and you nodded again, walking beside him towards the alleyway behind the bar.

* .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

TAGS: @peachjaem00 @bbyyhyuck @vdollys @positionslab @matchahyuck @renjun-fairy @back2jisung @doieslefttoe @uwuheeseungie

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#kflixnet #k-labels #mark smut #nct mark #nct smut #mark angst #nct fic #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct timestamps #nct scenarios #nct fanfic #nct 127 #nct dream #mark x reader #mark lee

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vidavalor · 25 days

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Hey Vida, I have some milk chocolate sea salt caramels to share. *Passes the canister*

Have you written about this moment yet? I'm guessing it has come up but I can't recall specifics.

The time loop hypothesis that includes the idea that Crowley figures out what is happening and starts actively trying to influence things helps me understand why Crowley would say this - that he would despair after having been unsuccessful in every attempt he'd made to change the final outcome, to save Aziraphale's life. I know Crowley has some timey-wimey stuff going on generally, like his knowing the future and making all sorts of references to things that don't exist yet... I am very curious to know what you think Crowley's deal is and what is happening for him here.

...

Also, do you think Aziraphale knows from the beginning of S2 that he has fallen? I mean, the other angels refer to Aziraphale as a former angel and principality right to his face, don't they? I remember wondering about this the first time I watched the second series. I kept waiting for the show to clarify just what exactly Aziraphale's status was...

Well, this is a more oddly worded question than I remembered. One cannot simply be "a bit of" a fallen angel wtf game are you guys (gn) playing at? Leave that perfectly frosted cinnamon roll alone!

...

Also, I am still full of so much anticipation wondering what I asked you last time! I am positive it had to do with innuendo lol

Hello to you, my fave @iammyownproblematicfave! 💕I am SO sorry about the other Ask-- I determined you asked about the innuendo in the "very nice" scene & I'm going to whip you up a batch of etymology around the insanely complicated history of the word "nice." It got lost in my Drafts folder for a little while there and I overlooked it-- will remedy that shortly! Here's thoughts on these questions and thanks for asking.

On Crowley, time & "too late" and Aziraphale, fallen angels & heavenly rank under the cut.

First, time loop idea and Crowley's "too late" comments... So, anything is possible, right? That said, I don't think it's a time loop because I think there are scenes that explain why Crowley says "too late" at the end of that episode. I wrote about how it ties to unicorns & Wee Morag a bit in another post and I'll link it at the bottom of this one.

Basically, Crowley's anxious in that scene where he threatens Gabriel and then says that "it's always too late." Crowley's memory is iffy-- he admits as much to Gabriel later in S2-- and even if he was lying to Saraqael and/or Furfur about not remembering them, we know he struggles to recall all of his memories from when he was an angel. One memory that he felt confident about was the one he told Beez earlier in the season-- that The Book of Life is bunk that he and Beez made up to tease some of the more innocent angels. It is likely that this memory of Crowley's is correct. I say that because Beez seemed to think it possible when they heard it-- but then Beez felt like a fool at the thought that they'd been threatened by Heaven with something that didn't exist and that they themselves and Crowley made up. They doubled-down and insisted to Crowley that The Book of Life was real.

Crowley suddenly thought that Beez might be right because, hey, they'd run Hell for so long, they'd know more than he would, right? He starts to doubt his own recollection and he rushes back to the bookshop to help protect Gabriel as a way of protecting Aziraphale because he now is terrified that Aziraphale could be erased from existence if he is caught helping Gabriel. He doesn't want to tell Aziraphale that Beez reached out to him because he knows Aziraphale is sensitive about the fact that none of the angels have talked to Aziraphale in years and that their only source of intel is a demon with a thing for Crowley (Shax) so Crowley doesn't ever tell Aziraphale how scared he is about The Book of Life. Meanwhile, even though Gabriel is basically on their side now, Crowley can't exactly ask him if it's real or not because dude only knows Buddy Holly songs for basically the whole season lol.

So, in addition to worrying that Aziraphale is spiraling (because he is) and that helping Gabriel could mean that Aziraphale is risking his mental health and a fall, Crowley is also now terrified that Aziraphale could be made to have never existed. It's on his mind so much that he growls at Gabriel in that episode-ending scene that Aziraphale could be "risking his existence" for Gabriel and then muses about how it might be "too late-- it's always too late..." I don't think this is a time loop indication. I think it's a reference to other times Crowley has said "too late" in the past, like the unicorns and when Wee Morag died. It's about how it might be too late for him and Aziraphale and they might be running out of time and be on a collision course with death while not knowing it-- like how Elspeth never saw the fact that it was her last night with Wee Morag coming. It's Crowley's anxiety talking. Crowley thinks it's too late to turn back now because they're already helping Gabriel and Shax is sniffing around and they might be nearly out of time.

Crowley does have some time-related stuff happening in his story and the ability to control it but it seems to me more likely that Crowley's ability to remember that he has control of it has been taken from him in the present in S2 than it is that he's in a time loop. In the disaster kiss scene with Aziraphale, Aziraphale is really obviously signaling to Crowley a request that he freeze time. (It's obvious to us, I mean-- Aziraphale hid it from The Metatron by curving his hand.) He was trying to get Crowley to do what he did on the tarmac in S1 when he stopped everything and took them and Adam to a little time out cloud to help Adam figure out how to deal with Satan.

Crowley, though, just kind of stares at Aziraphale, even though this is literally one of the most recognizable hand signals on the planet. He also didn't just do it himself at the start of the conversation. If I were the villains, I'd be damn sure that Crowley didn't remember that he could freeze time after S1 and Crowley was gone all night before this scene (which he also doesn't seem to totally realize, no matter how many people around him keep commenting on how it's now morning.) The story, to me, seems to be suggesting that the Crowley & time stuff in S2 is that he doesn't recall that he can control it.

re: Aziraphale and what his angelic status/rank is in S1-- the cherub/principality/"you've been a bit of a fallen angel" bit...

When Michael and the other angels corner Aziraphale in S1 and Michael says that they've been learning some "disturbing things" about Aziraphale and that he's "been a bit of a fallen angel", the disturbing things are, imo, the photos of Aziraphale and Crowley that Michael has dug up. (Hypocritical much on Michael's part? Their phone chats with Ligur? That Gabriel knows about and lets them get away with but Michael wants to go after Aziraphale for having a relationship with Crowley? Yeah. Gross.) Michael and Uriel are threatening Aziraphale with a fall in the scene when they corner him. Uriel says "and don't think your boyfriend in the dark sunglasses will get you special treatment in Hell." They're using their power to threaten to cast him out as a way of trying to intimidate Aziraphale, which is another way of showing how political falling is and how it's all kind of b.s..

A demon is a fallen angel, by definition. That's the definition of a demon. Heaven has socialized angels to believe that the demons are all evil-- that they're devout followers of Satan and horrible people and to associate with them is to sully yourself with their satanicness and all that lol. In reality, there are some evil demons-- Satan is evil, Ligur was pretty bad-- but there are also some evil as fuck angels... The Metatron at the top of that list. In reality, the demons are the angels who put notes in the metaphorical suggestion box. They stood up and spoke out and questioned things. They're the curious, free-thinking "troublemakers" whose questioning of authority threatened to crumble The Metatron's power so he reacted by ostracizing them. He made a sense of the demons being "other" and evil. He invented Hell and banished them all to it-- lumping curious rebels like Crowley in with evil like Lucifer/Satan and using them as examples of what happens to those who dare to question. There really is no such thing as "a demon"-- there are just angels who have been told they're no good and that they've been cast out and are part of the collective owned by and working for Satan.

In S2, we get another bit of info about a fall when Gabriel falls. The Metatron can't send Gabriel to Hell like he would other angels because he did that once with Lucifer/Satan-- the last one to have Gabriel's job before Gabriel-- and once is "a good story" (meaning, once is a cautionary tale that keeps angels in line) but twice would suggest "an institutional problem"... twice would cause a rebellion. Twice would show that the problem is really Heaven. But, The Metatron has to do something with Gabriel, so he's going to erase Gabriel's memories (he tries to before Gabriel enacts Operation Fly and saves his memories thanks to Beez) and cast him down to a new rank of angel that they've just added to the bottom of the pile-- just for Gabriel lol. It's all political, which is how Crowley and Beez fell back in the day as well. They were caught up with Lucifer and held up as examples of evil when it seems that they really were just looking for others who were questioning things, too.

Does Aziraphale realize he's falling in S2? I think there's some language in the kiss disaster scene that indicates he suspects he might be and that he doesn't fully trust in what The Metatron is offering him-- or that that's really The Metatron. I don't think he realized he was falling until that point. It's a question, though, of what a fall really is. There are many ways to fall. You can literally fall from a great height. You can fall in rank. Both of these things happen during a fall from Heaven, in Good Omens, from what we've been told, but there are other types of fall. You can also fall in love. You can fall into despair. These ones? Aziraphale knew about. He fell in love with Crowley a long time ago and despair is always something he's working at keeping at bay, sometimes more successfully than others. In the end, his fall from Heaven is tied to both of those other kinds of falls.

But is Aziraphale already something of a fallen angel, like you asked? What of the fact that he was a cherub at one point and is a principality? Which is higher rank? We are told in the book that people "make jokes" about the fact that Aziraphale has both of those ranks. The word 'joke' comes from the Latin jocus, which literally means 'wordplay' and I think maybe looking at the different kinds of rank in Heaven through that angle might be worth a look. (Me? Taking a wordplay angle? Who would've ever thought? lol)

Who outranks who can be shown to us by how the characters behave in the scenes but the ranks of angels are more about what the words mean than about exactly which level that rank is, I think. For instance, there is some evidence that a throne and a dominion are the same level of rank-- that an angel can be both at once... which makes more sense when you consider the power aspects of those words and that here's our throne/dominion leaving his chair to dominate his plants in S1:

People are complex and need more words than one title might allow.

Aziraphale can be a cherub and a principality because once you start to get into the meanings of all of these words, you can see that which ones are given to Crowley and Aziraphale are done because of how they support who the characters are-- and how they overlap. I have a meta that I've been playing with from time to time about the different meanings of principality/dominion/throne and how Crowley and Aziraphale are both really all of them. I'll try to finish that one up soon. If you look at wordplay around the word "rank" itself, though...

...a rank is a placement or a position in military order, yeah, but it's also a bad smell. Something that is rank is something that is foul and offensive. One of the themes of the show to me seems to be that, whether you're an angel or a demon or a human, you possess your own power and no one can take that away from you unless you let them. Empowerment and freedom is the realization of that. We're all equal beings. The characters who are the least interested with power systems-- the ones who have freed themselves from concern about it and live as independently as they are able-- are the ones who view others as autonomous beings and do not support oppression of others. They are the least rank because they are dismissive of the idea of rank itself.

So, while we're having fun with words here... those who are the least rank are also probably not rank in the scent sense of the word, too lol. This would be why we have a multiple scenes devoted to how everyone is in a faint over how great Crowley smells. He's the least rank of them all-- in every way possible. 😉

The other "too late"-related meta:

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #aziracrow #good omens meta

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crackedpumpkin · 1 year

Note

this is my first time requesting something so- BAHABAHAHAHA

Can yo do something with rise Leo when both of them (reader and Leo) have felling a for each other, but any or them wants to accept them, so the family starts to put them in compromising situations?

i hope you can do it

i love you

Hello lovely! Unfortunately, most of my writing progress actually got deleted because tumblr decided to fuck me over by kicking me out of my draft before I even saved it so I rewrote everything again :) (Google docs ftw)

Regardless though, I hope this is good enough for your first request! I don’t have much experience writing for ROTTMNT since I’ve actually only just started watching the show, but I really do hope you enjoy this! Sending much love your way as well <3

|| ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴇᴇᴛʟɪɢʜᴛꜱ ||

So maybe taking a walk in a dangerous, sketchy neighbourhood isn't the best idea you've had.

You glance behind you at the clatter of what seemed to be trash cans that had toppled onto the ground, urging your feet to walk faster.

The only source of light around you was the dim flickering of a lamp post that stood a few feet away, just as sketchy as the neighbourhood you were in.

You breathe a sigh of relief when you take another look around, not seeing anyone. You shove your hands into the pockets of your hoodie, turning around to continue walking back home.

“So, whatcha doing out here all by your lonesome?”

You shriek at the sudden voice, desperately grabbing for the pepper spray in the pocket of your jeans that you kept on you at all times. You hold it out with a shaky hand at the dark silhouette in front of you, finger ready at the trigger.

“It’s me, don’t shoot!”

“Leo??” You lower the bottle, glaring at the familiar turtle in blue that steps into the light with a sheepish grin.

“I told you to call me if you were gonna take a walk, much less in this kind of area.” He chides, leaning against the brick wall beside you with a smirk.

“I would have if you actually picked up your calls.” You joke. You exchange smiles, knowing full well that he had never missed a single call or text if it came from you, and he wasn’t planning on doing otherwise anytime soon.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home.” He extends his hand towards you, and you slip your hand into his without hesitation. He tugs you forward, and you almost fall into his arms had he not caught you in time. Your hand is entwined with his, and he walks beside you in the dim street. Your shoulders brush against each other every so often, and it brings soft, shy smiles to your faces.

“Okay, the plan is a go,” Donnie confirms from a nearby rooftop, keeping tabs on the pair with his binoculars.

“Oooo, I’m so excited!” Raph’s hushed excitement only encourages a boost in Donnie’s ego.

“I love Love.” Mikey sighs blissfully, watching his brother and Y/n with his own pair of binoculars.

“Operation ‘Get-Y/n-and-Leo-together-so-they-can-stop-mutually-pining-over-each-other-and-making-us-all-frustrated’ is underway!” April whispers excitedly into the mic attached to her shirt, hiding behind a wall of a nearby alleyway.

“Okay guys, Phase One of the plan will take action, now!”

At Donnie’s command, April reaches out and pushes a pile of boxes that topple, falling to the ground with a loud thud.

This causes you to look back, startled by the sudden noise. Your grip on Leo’s hand tightens, and he looks down to see your nervous expression. “I’m sure it’s nothing, scaredy-cat.” He teases, and this makes you frown, punching his arm playfully. “Am not!” You brush it off as a mere coincidence.

“Donnie, what’s pushing a bunch of boxes down gonna accomplish anyway?” Raph asks, confused by the plan’s simplicity.

“Well my dear brother, this whole plan is based on fear as an effective stimulus to encourage the two to take the first step towards each other romantically.” Donnie tuts, continuing to keep tabs on the pair.

“You see Raphael, the sound made by the fallen boxes in a sketchy neighbourhood will act as the first step in stimulating that fear. Next up, we have Phase Two. April, get ready.” Donnie instructs.

“You got it.” April pulls out a pair of particularly heavy boots, puts them on and tucks her thick hair under a baseball cap. She takes a step out into the street, her heavy boot landing on the ground with a loud thud.

“Aaaand, now.” Mikey hits a button on Donnie’s console at his brother’s command, and all the lights on the street shut off except one.

You look up in surprise at the sudden pitch-black darkness that surrounds you, but your attention is drawn to the sound of heavy-set footsteps from a distance behind you. Leo pulls you close, his arm wrapped around your shoulders. “I’m sure it’s nothing” He tries to laugh it off, though his voice has a slightly nervous edge to it.

The clunking grows louder, and the two of you look at each other in alarm, glancing back to see the flickering light of the only lamp post revealing a dark silhouette hidden in the shadows, its towering frame and muscular build making you panic.

“We should run,” Leo suggests in a high-pitched squeak. You barely have time to nod in agreement before he practically scoops you up in his arms, starting to run in a panic. He doesn’t stop until you reach a slightly more brightly lit area, stealing a glance behind to check if they had lost whoever that was.

“I think we lost them.” You breathe out, your arms having circled his neck as he held you close in his arms, hiding your face in his neck. He sets you down gently, the brush of his cheek against yours when he moves away bringing a soft heat to your face. He moves a strand of hair out of your face tenderly, tucking it behind your ear with a smile.

You both let out relieved laughs, the adrenaline fading from your systems before continuing the walk. Leo takes the opportunity to drape his arm around your shoulders and pull you close, masking his nervousness with confidence when you look up at him with wide eyes.

You shouldn’t read too much into it…Right?

“Phase Two: Success,” Donnie reports with a grin.

“I dunno Donnie, this feels a little too much.” Raph voices out unsurely, readying for the next Phase.

“Too much?” Donnie cackles, “It’s never too much.”

“Donnie, are we good or what?” April asks, having taken off the boots and baseball cap.

Donnie laughs evilly, cracking his knuckles and nodding at Raph who readies himself.

“Release the crows.”

Raph flips the switch, releasing the automatic lock on a cage of crows that were very angry at being caught and stuffed into an overcrowded cage. Donnie had placed them in an alleyway that you and Leo were about to walk past at any moment.

You slow your footsteps, eyes narrowing as you stare into the dark alleyway suspiciously, hearing the flutter of wings. “What’s up?” Leo looks into the alleyway and his eyes widen in alarm, pulling you away just in time and shielding you from an angry flock of crows that rush out of the darkness.

Your back hits the brick wall of the building next to the alleyway, and Leo’s arms wrap around you in a protective hug. His shell aches from the sharp claws of the angry crows that attack anything in their sight, pulling you as close as possible.

His hand covers the top of your head, and you tuck yourself under his chin, pressed firmly against his plastron. Your eyes were squeezed shut in fear, brows furrowed.

When the caws of the crows gradually fade, you finally open your eyes, blinking a couple of times. You look back up to check on Leo, and your breath hitches in your throat at the sight.

Cheeks flushed, eyes shut, and lips pressed together in a firm line.

The picture of perfection.

Your hand finds itself cupped against Leo’s pink cheek. His eyes fly open, staring down at you in surprise. Your thumb starts tracing small circles on the soft skin of his cheek, and he almost churrs in delight, his knees weak at the sight of you.

You, with your adorable wide eyes, your red cheeks, and your smile that gave him butterflies every time he laid eyes on it.

The image of an angel.

“Grossss,” Donnie complains, setting down his binoculars with a barely disguised gag.

“Hey, I think it’s sweet,” April says with a grin, gushing over the two, hidden a few feet away.

“Well, maybe.” He reassesses, grinning at how well his plan was turning out.

“Wait, doesn’t this mean the plan’s working?” Mikey points out.

“As if it wouldn’t.” Donnie snorts at the implication of otherwise.

The spell between the two is broken when the lone bark of a stray dog echoes throughout the neighbourhood. You both snap out of your daze, lips mere inches away from brushing. Leo’s eyes were half-lidded, leaning down to press his lips against yours before jolting away at the sound. Your hand drops to your side as Leo takes a sudden step back as if touching you had burned him.

Your cheeks were warm with an all-too-familiar heat, and you stare down at the ground, wishing it’d swallow you whole.

Leo tilts his head back, staring up at the night sky with shaky breaths and rubs the back of his neck nervously.

He was mortified but also annoyed that a simple bark had ruined what could’ve been the greatest moment of his life.

How was he supposed to face you now?

Right. He’d handle it like he always does: With confidence.

“So, shall we?” His hand is outstretched again, waiting for you to take it with a lazy yet confident grin.

He prays intently, hoping you don’t notice the way his cheeks blossom red from the heat and the way his hands tremble. He prays you don’t notice the way his voice has a nervous edge to it, and how desperately he wants to hold you again.

But you notice. You notice everything.

You look at his hand, raising your own hesitantly before pausing.

“Take his hand, damn it!” Donnie all but yells in frustration, setting down his binoculars and rubbing the space between his eyes exasperatedly when you drop your hand and nod, walking in front of him.

Leo’s dejected face was enough to make anyone feel pity for him, but he covers his crestfallen expression with a bright smile when you turn back to look at him, your brow quirked almost as if asking him to catch up with you.

He jogs to your side and starts to joke around, hiding how hurt he felt when you rejected his hand.

“Donnie, the plan isn’t working!” Raph panics and Mikey lets out a whimper from beside him.

“Wait.” Donnie pulls out his phone, typing furiously. “We still have Phase Four.”

Leo’s phone vibrates, and he pulls it out from his utility belt to check his texts. He frowns when he reads it, a groan slipping past his lips.

Now everything made sense.

“What’s wrong?” You try to peek at his screen, but he quickly tilts it away from you.

You frown, shoving your hands back into the pockets of your hoodie and feeling hurt. He never hid stuff from you before, not even embarrassing texts sent by his brothers.

“I-it’s just spam text!” He stammers, shoving the phone back into his utility belt with a frown, looking up at the rooftops and failing to spot his brothers.

Of course, it was them who had set up this whole horror-esque situation for him.

Donnie had just sent him a text, encouraging him to kiss you when he dropped you off at your place, ending it with a ‘;)’.

“Well,” Leo looks up, having been engrossed in his thoughts to realise they had stopped walking, “this is me,” you mumble.

“I’ll meet you upstairs?”

You pause but nod with a shy smile.

He watches you enter the glass doors of the apartment building, thankful for the lack of humans and bright lighting around. He makes his way up to the fire escape outside your bedroom window, hearing the vague greetings you gave your parents in the living room.

As soon as he hears the door close and the soft click of your lock sliding in place, he slides open the window and climbs in.

You sit down on your bed with an exhausted sigh. “That was a scary walk, huh?” You gesture for him to join you and he does, plopping down beside you. He’s strangely silent, staring down at your bedroom floor. You move closer to him, until your shoulders touch. You nudge him gently. “You okay?”

“H-huh? Y-yeah! Good walk.” Leo’s caught off guard when he realises that there’s barely any space between the two of you, surprise and nervousness in his wide eyes.

“Where’d the confident, brave Leon I know go?” You tease.

“...not so brave.”

You hear Leo faintly mutter under his breath. “What was that?” You ask.

You watch Leo take a deep breath. “Around you, I’m not so brave.” He admits softly.

“Why?”

Okay, Leo, it’s now or never.

“Because I like you.”

“What?”

You wait for the impending ‘Just Kidding!’. You knew it was coming any second now. If it was a prank, it was truly a cruel one, seeing as you did have feelings for him. You fiddle with your hands nervously.

He’s taking too long to say it, you realise.

Leo’s facing you now, more serious than you had ever seen him. His usual confidence is absent, and he waits for your response with bated breath.

“I-I mean, that’s what I’d say if I did-”

“I like you too.”

“What?” Now it’s Leo’s turn to feel surprised, and you nod.

“I like you.” You repeat shyly, your ears bright red and confirming what he had heard.

“Really??” Leo’s arms wrap around you in a joyous hug, his elated smile causing you to giggle. You shush him with a finger to his lips, glancing over to the door, afraid your parents had somehow overheard him.

You look back at a beaming Leo.

Let’s knock him down a peg.

You press a chaste kiss to his lips. He’s left speechless, and you can’t help but laugh at how wide his eyes are. You suddenly feel embarrassed at making the first move, looking away. You feel a slender finger cup your chin, tilting your face back to meet his in a passionate kiss that has your knees weak.

You both pull away after a while, breathless. You both catch your breath, heartbeats banging against your ribcages in a steady rhythm that threatens to break out when your eyes meet.

“We should go on walks more often.” You joke weakly. His hand holds yours, fingers entwined. You look down at your hands, a silly smile fixed permanently on your lips.

“Yeah, about that…Donnie and the rest set it up.” Leo pulls out his phone, finally showing you the text that he had hidden from you earlier.

You read through it with furrowed brows, your lips curling up in a mischievous smirk.

“Why don’t we return the favour by pretending we fought?” You suggest with a cheeky wink.

Leo stares at you for a good moment before tugging you forwards into a tight hug. “This is why I fell in love with you.” He sighs lovingly.

He moves back, and you both start to chuckle evilly.

Oh, you’ll enjoy pranking his brothers the next day.

#tmnt #rottmnt #leonardo x reader #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #x reader #ask

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dmercer91 · 11 months

Note

for opposites attract i feel like reader would be in like a dark outfit and mary janes and dark makeup next to sunny sweet luca but luca just thinks they are so so adorable!!

oh absolutely - turned this into impromptu draft day hcs cause i love them

you allow adam to sit next to luca purely cause you know they’re gonna have an hour long cuddle session on live television once adams name is called

you hug adam for the second time ever and maybe you’re a smidge proud of him so you smile with teeth and everything

adam teases you about it while he’s doing his rudimentary good luck ritual of messing up your bangs

“you’ve got a pretty smile,” “oh shut up,”

as soon as he starts making his way down you steal his seat and take lucas hand

he’s more than aware that the camera is panning to him while they’re talking about adam and you’re not so aware

he has every gif or picture of the two of you holding hands he can find saved

this is probably the first time the internet is getting a good view of you because you downright refuse to let him post your face at this point in the relationship

even when he hard launched you it wasn’t your whole face, he’d just tagged you

a lot of people are a little.. perplexed at the contrast between you and luca

i’m picturing a long sleeve dress and black tights, still formal enough for the draft

hair down and in loose curls

^ i’ve always envisioned very long, either really dark brown or black hair with like the thin fringe bangs

and light (layer wise) makeup, still matching the darker colour scheme

meanwhile luca is in the light blue and he’s just being luca

the chain he has with the moon ring on it is out where people can see it and he’s fidgeting with your sun ring

he absolutely wants a photo shoot before you leave cause he thinks you look so pretty

he almost definitely has a friends/family instagram or something that has essentially become a you fan page

tonight is no different and those who follow it have given up on watching all the stories

cause he will not shut up (before it starts and after the draft is over) about how beautiful you are and how proud he is of adam and it ends up being one of those days where he’s got so many posts the story lines are dots (seriously everyone’s sick of him)

he even got one of you and adam together and you’re leaning your head on his shoulder cause that’s your newly acquired honorary brother and you want to show him you’re happy for him and this is the way he accepts you’re gonna do that

luca loves that you love adam and that adam has basically accepted his role to you as lovingly pesty little brother

you don’t really keep up much with hockey other than luca and adams whole situation, so you very discreetly eye fucking luca once you’re pretty sure they’re done talking about adam cause you’re not familiar with other people and you don’t want to look bored

you do watch out for gavin’s name

honestly confused protective mother vibes when he isn’t called (however you will not ever tell anyone that. ever.)

his parents love you even though you’d hardly met just because not only is luca head over heels and constantly praising you but adam has started mentioning how you’re warming up to him and just the fact that he’s proud of himself for that tells them they want you to stay around

clothes last about .47 seconds max once you and luca are back at the hotel room courtesy of a couple drinks after the draft

this is longer than i thought it was gonna be but my brain kept thinking things and i’ve gotten so much sun today so if this is word vomit my apologies i cannot contain the luca and reader love

#opposites attract au !#luca fantilli

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aprismaticodyssey · 1 year

Text

Big Announcement: Major Development!

Okay- yeah. This is LONG overdue. I know. So allow me to give a wee bit of context!

The demo that is currently available is from the very first draft. At the time, it was the one to beat. However, following the upload of the third chapter, as I continued writing, I liked it less... and less. I got as far as 7 chapters before I decided to rewrite. Then came Draft 2. I had someone message me on the forums asking me about the WIP and where it was, if there was any updates that I didn't provide or if I even changed platforms (choice to itchio). I told them, as it was, I had finished Draft Two. I had even begun typing and editing.

However... I soon became deeply unhappy. While I was proud I finished, a major accomplishment for myself, I absolutely hated how everything flowed. Draft Two was very similar to the Demo. As I was editing, I kept telling myself to trust the process. But I feared "the process" couldn't fix what I had written. And ultimately, if I'm not satisfied with it, then it isn't fair for me to put it out to you guys. To ask you to find the errors and bugs. To support me on Patreon or wait for updates, etc.

Thus came Draft Three. This one is finished from beginning to end and I can't tell you how OVERJOYED I am with this one.

Now that we're caught up... What happens now?

The Demo will still remain. Even though it's short and completely different, I think it's more fun to leave it available. As of today, I officially started typing and editing. I technically started earlier only because chapter one starts the same, but heavily deviates. I don't know how long this will take but I will go as fast as I can! My mother will be my first reader and editor, including for all the branching scenes and dialogue. When that is all said and done, I will put it all into ChoiceScript and then... boom! Upload for a brand new demo.

What about Patreon?

This is where it gets tricky. Because I have one partially completed draft and one completed draft, I have a ton of unused things. I have a separated filing for scrapped content. I thought about taking the chapters from the previous drafts as Patreon content but there's so much of it that I don't think it'd necessarily be feasible. If you guys have any suggestions for this, please let me know! Otherwise, I have things I can post without worrying about the previous drafts.

Okay... so... What about the hella weird posts without context?

Yeah that was me having fun. I saved a fair few pictures to help me capture and invision the aesthetic for this final draft. I amused me to post! Though why 👀 got more of a response than :) has me curious.

SO. Now that all of that is said, please ask anything you have like you did in the past. Be it about the WIP, the characters, silly stuff, etc. I can't wait to see how you guys react to this version.

#Nike Monroe Posts #Agents of lucifer #writing #interactive fiction #hosted games #Old AoL Posts #wip #if wip

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tonberry-yoda · 2 years

Text

Inspiration - Rohan Kishibe

Pairing - Rohan Kishibe x f!reader

Warnings - none!

Word Count - 719

Notes - this is one of my older writings, but my first writing I'm posting on here! I really hope you enjoy because even though it's short, it is one of my absolute favorites!

(image is not mine)

“Damn.” She looked at the clock on her computer. It was almost 8. She was so busy doing homework that she had no time to eat. She sighed and put her head down on her desk, groaning. “What a pain in the ass.” She saved her writing as a draft and threw on a jacket and grabbed her keys, opening her door. “Son of a bitch, just my luck. Thanks, Zeus.” She grabbed an umbrella and looked at the rain pouring down in the streetlamp. Sure, it was beautiful as an art form, but not when you were in desperate need of dinner. She crawled in her car, and adjusted her rear view mirror, finding a couple walking together in the rain. They were pressed against each other and laughing about something. She could only dream to have something like that at this point. At the moment, she was an overworked college student who lost track of time and forgot to eat. She sighed, and started up her car, the windshield wipers moving the rain that was being shone on by her porch light. Tonight was going to be a long night.

“Can I just get a meatball sub? Thanks.” The sound of customers and plates clanking was muffled in her ears as her mind was in a completely different realm. She needed inspiration. Something. Anything. She kept deleting her paper for class. It just wasn't working. Nothing she was writing felt right. There were some amazing writers out there, but none of her writing felt… good enough. She sighed and took a sip of her hot cocoa, looking out the darkened window, seeing people walk by holding hands with their children or their lovers, all overcast by their own umbrellas. It was beautiful, but it wasn't enough. Suddenly, she was pulled from her own mind when a man sat across from her in her booth. “Can I help you?” She tilted her head slightly and grabbed her butter knife just in case. “My name is Rohan Kishibe. You look sad, are you alright?” “I'm sorry? First of all, like the Rohan Kishibe? Like the manga artist.” “Are you a fan?” “A huge fan!” He signed a napkin and handed it to her. “And second, Mr. Kishibe, I'm not sad.” “You sure look sad.” “Well, I'm not-” “Then what are you?” He fluttered open a sketchbook and looked back at her. “I'm sorry?” “What are you?” “Your meatball sub, ma’am.” The waiter sat it across from her and Rohan raised his hand slightly, pen in between his fingers. “I'll get some fruit water, and then I can get to work.” “Yes sir, I'll be back with that momentarily.” The waiter hurried off and her eyes went dark looking at the manga artist. “That’s not going on my bill.” “I understand. We’ll split then. 50/50.” “Woah, I was just asking for you to pay for your fruit water, not a quarter of my damn meal!” “I don't mind. Anyway, as I was saying, how do you feel?” She put her face in her hand and looked back at the manga artist. “Uninspired I guess. I have a paper due soon, but haven't had any inspiration to do it. I want it to be really good, but I don't know.” “Thank you.” Rohan nodded at the waiter and then looked back at her. “Uninspired, you say?” She nodded and took a bite of her food. “I just want… something. You know?” “Oh believe me, I know. Question: do you mind if I draw you?” “Y-You want to draw me?” “I'll draw you twice. One that you can keep, and one for me.” “I-I don't mind at all!” He began sketching as she continued talking, and before they knew it, it had been over an hour and a half of just the two of them talking. “Here you go. And here’s the money for the drink. I quite like you.” She smiled and looked over the drawing with a red face. “Thank you, Rohan. This means a lot.” “And since I'm here,” he slipped over a piece of paper with his number on it. “Call me sometime. I like hearing your voice.” He walked out of that restaurant and suddenly, she had the inspiration to finish her paper in one night.

#rohan #rohan kishibe #rohan jjba #jjba #x reader #rohan x reader #rohan kishibe x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #anime #manga #rohan kishibe x you #rohan kishibe fluff #rohan kishibe imagine #first writing!!

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daveedee · 1 month

Text

Parker and Dan's Goodbye

Notes from the author: Dan is a character that belongs to my buddy @rovobeam, Parker is mine. I haven't posted in awhile and I reread this little draft I found in my google docs. This isn't super canon to their story but was a working off point for some ideas and fleshing out characters. Enjoy!

“I don’t think I want to do this anymore, Parker.”

Those words were the beginning of the end and she knew it the moment it left his lips. The air around them changed. The once sweetness of his voice became sour, she could almost taste it. She knew that look on his face, too. The way his eyes wouldn’t look at hers, the crease of his eyebrows furrowed together in thought, the scowl on his lips. Parker knew it well.

She knew what he meant and he didn’t mean them. Whatever they were all these years. They needed each other the same way the sun and moon does. Can't be too close unless it’s an eclipse, those once in a lifetime nights. So far from each other at the solstices, the darkest and longest days of the year. The push and pull of the tides, arguments and crimes. Yet lovely to bake in the warmth of the rays, glances in meetings and brushing of hands in the crowded hallways. It was the kind of love that wasn’t meant to be, they knew that, but it was needed. Needed to know if despite the odds they could make it work. They were both too terribly stubborn to leave without outside conflict. Something kept them always coming back to each other's door.

So when those words hit her ears she knew it was something else. Something worse.

“Do what, Dan?” Her eyes reading his face, trying to memorize as if he was going to disappear into dust in the next moment. She knew every scar and every line. Not only the look but the feel of the puffy skin underneath her finger tips. All those mornings tracing the lines of his body, hoping one day she’d have more than the memory of them.

She almost forgot where she was when he looked at her. The way his eyes seem to fill the pockets of space that always felt void. There was just something about him that invaded her soul, like the lost piece to an old puzzle. The smell of the pine forest was unmistakable though, it had always centered her. They were sitting on her porch in Quebec, away from work for the weekend. She managed to snag some time off and made Dan use his at the same time.

It was almost midnight and they had gone outside for some fresh air. The dim porch light lit up his face, his soft ginger hair a bit grown out, he managed to have even a little stubble on his jaw. They were sitting next to each other in her porch swing, just staring out into the lake that her house sat on the shore of. The dark waters are hauntingly calm, making her want the familiar feel of steel in her hand. Never ask the MTF if they know the body in the water didn’t feel like a joke sometimes. The bugs were quieter tonight, making the sound of the rocking dock even more anxiety inducing. She had always been afraid of the dark. Dan teased her for it saying ‘it’s not the dark that’ll get you. It’s what’s in the dark.’ That was always followed up with you’re an MTF, you’ll be fine or something like that. After seeing the things she has seen working for the Foundation, no amount of training would save her from what was out there.

Despite this, there was nothing like Northern Quebec in the spring. Deer start to come out with their fawn, the monarchs head to the mating grounds, and the birds are flying back up north. Not to mention the new plant life surrounding the woods she lived in. Her tulips and daffodils were starting to bloom. Spring was supposed to be the season of rejuvenation, not the ending of something. Maybe in its own way this was a form of it.

“With the foundation. Next time I have an out, I’m going. Are you coming?” While there was a question mark, seemingly, at the end of his sentence, this wasn’t a question. This was a tell. He finally looked at her. His dark eyes focused on her, reading her expression, hoping to find no doubt. Hoping so deeply her soft lips he knew so well would form a ‘yes’, but it was never that easy with Parker. Parker knew what she wanted, she always had. It was like a red string had been tied to her hand and pulled her in the direction to go. He didn’t want to take her away from that, but for her safety… she could hate him for the rest of his life, as long as she was safe.

He remembers the first mission she had gone on after they decided to be something more than just occasional lovers. His body was racked with worry, his hearts beating so fast you’d think he was a hummingbird. Gosh he didn’t even eat. When she came back with a scratch on her face and a few bruises he almost went to Emmanuel and cursed him out, threatening that if anything were to happen to her he’d rip every limp from his body and feed it to him through his ass. The only thing that calmed him down was when she rested her hands on the sides of his face, with that goofy ‘Parker Smile’. She had said ‘Look at you Mr. Worked Up. Everything is fine, see, all okay.’ He melted into her touch, he still would. Her hands were so soft, her fingernails short but just long enough to run themselves down his back after a long day. God after not seeing her for weeks it was heaven to come home and lay his head in her lap and her hands running through his hair.

“Dan, Amour,” her voice quivered and slipped into her french accent. She took her turn to turn away from him. She knew this was coming, she always had. From the moment she met him when she was twenty-four, forced into becoming an MTF. The day she met him to begin training, so much anger, resentment, hesitation sat on his face like an open book. As he got older he hid it better but it was always there, just below the surface. It came out in the way he did his report, his fingers normally controlled and light, clacking on the keyboard loudly and angrily. It came out in the way he hung up his gear, how he almost flinched seeing the badge on his vest. SECURE.CONTAIN.PROTECT. S.C.P. FOUNDATION. Most of all she saw it in the way he woke up in the morning, the hopeless stare at the mirror, the question of why am I still doing this. This is what you build when you make a child fight an adult’s battle. A battle to win a war that cannot be won. You create enemies. “You know I can’t leave.”

The words in her mouth felt like metallic blood, as if she was cutting out her own heart from her chest. The hurt on his face was evident. He hoped, god, he almost prayed that this would be easy. Her calling had always been to help others, to keep them from suffering the way she suffered. Her job, while brutal, unforgiving, and dangerous, was a chosen one. While MTF wasn’t really in her cards originally she embraced it. She had gone to college, did the time, got requested, applied, and took the job. Parker had a plan, always. Her place was at the Foundation.

“Don’t make me leave you Parker, I don’t think I could do it.” His hand leaves his lap where it had been trembling to touch the softness of her face. Her honey whiskey eyes, dark black eyelashes, and that scar running through her lips made him want to kneel to her. Worship her, even if it was everything she stood against. Idolism was a sin, but not to God, but to humans themselves. Believing in a greater power was a doomed prophecy to fall into the control of another. However, oh, what he would do to eat the fruit of her land and never leave. To wake up every morning and watch the morning glow of the sun bask upon her pale skin. She was Persphone and he would be Hades, waiting for winter to come around so he could be lulled into her endless hold on him.

Parker leaned into his touch, his hands were always a welcome cold. Her eyes closed at the feeling. How could she ever be so cruel as to make him stay. He deserved to be happy, something he would never be with her. As sad as it sounded, she had always known it. She was a part of the thing he hated, and she did it voluntarily. He would never be satisfied, he would always resent her, maybe even one day hate her. ‘If the person you love is happy now, maybe you could be happy later.’ Is what she planned to tell herself when this day came. Nonetheless did it make it any less hard.

“You need to be free from all of this, after everything they did to you… I’m sorry I can’t be free with you.” A tear fell from her eye that she hadn’t noticed had built up and her voice cracked up. Her heart was breaking in her chest. There was something she was acutely aware of her entire life. Parker was the girl you loved before you found the one. Parker was the girl you loved when you started to figure out what you wanted. Parker was a stepping stone for most of her relationships. She always knew what she wanted, what she needed. Apparently that helped others build their own sense of purpose and when they moved on, they moved on happily.

She kissed the palm of the hand holding her face. The look in his eyes wasn’t just sadness, it was betrayal.

#scp #scpfoundation #scp au #scp fandom #scp oc #scp foundation #scp story #scp community

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maebird-melody · 7 months

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Clockwork Fic, if you're still doing this ask game?

(I am! I just started this, saved it as a draft, then forgot to post it)

Oh, that’s a fun one. I had a really involved Danny Phantom themed dream that I quickly wrote down before I could forget all the details because it seemed like it would make an interesting story. The dream took some tangents, so the WIP is still being finessed to make all the pieces fit together properly.

So in my dream, Clockwork had an ability similar to Vlad's where he could split himself into many versions of himself. Except when Clockwork splits, each version is a different age. And unlike with Vlad's ability, the “clones” aren’t lesser versions of himself that dissipate into smoke when damaged. They are all equally him.

Clockwork was living in this floating metropolis in the Ghost Zone, the buildings extending forever upwards and downwards. In this city, The Observants act as a sort of secret police, keeping the peace and ousting dissidents. Clockwork had gotten on the bad side of the powers that be, so The Observants are hunting him.

Though their intelligence network is strong, Clockwork had kept his ability to split under wraps, and no one has seen him at every age his splits can take. When The Observants catch up to him, he'd already split into four. One of him stays behind to keep The Observants in his home busy. Another is forced to distract even more who were waiting outside. And one other provides a diversion at an inter-dimensional train station while the youngest of his splits sneaks aboard the last car.

He intended to recall his other splits to his youngest self once he was safely away, but he didn't count on The Observants capturing and time-locking them. So he takes the train to the human realm and hides himself under human guise in a sprawling town ruled by a king.

This is all essentially the setup for a story set in a fairytale-like earth setting (this part of the dream started getting a little off track, so I intend to consolidate characters and plot lines).

Clockwork slowly loses his sense of self the longer he is separated from his other splits, and therefore also loses his memories. While he's disguised as a human to hide his ectosignature from The Observants, this process is even quicker.

In the dream, he gets adopted by the king, but I'm keeping him on the streets instead, which is where he starts. Maybe he'll start working for a shopkeeper and use that money to pay for a small room above the shop. I haven't decided yet. He could just go full street rat.

Also, the king and his family were originally their own characters, separate from Danny and his family, but I think I want to combine them instead. Rather than the king's son dying and Clockwork becoming the heir apparent on a technicality, it's easier having Danny as the prince. Another change from the dream, Danny isn't Phantom in my WIP.

One thing I'm keeping is their encounter in the library. Danny is hiding from his family between stacks of books, and Clockwork, who simply enjoys reading, spots him acting strange over one of the shelves. They are about the same age (by this point Clockwork has been there for years) and hit it off almost immediately.

When Clockwork finds out Danny is the king's son, he decides it's better if he keeps his distance. But then a hole opens in reality and The Observants pour out.

Both Clockwork and Danny run, but Danny isn't fast enough, and since The Observants only know they are looking for someone about that age, sensed in this location, they take Danny instead of Clockwork.

The rest of the story is about Clockwork's attempts to rescue the prince, piecing bits of his memory together along the way.

I really am excited about this fic, but haven't gotten much further than the brainstorming phase. It's gonna be a long story, that I can tell for sure, and I have other commitments before I start another big project. But this is the gist of it!

#mae answers #ask game #tag game #writing wips #danny phantom #phanfic #clockwork

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asterkiss · 9 months

Text

Keykeeper Deleted Scenes:

Since we're coming to the end of this story, I figured I'd post a handful of alternate/deleted scene from early drafts that I managed to keep hold of. It's mostly Bill and Mabel bickering/flirting in their own way. #4 is pretty fun though :3c

#1 Old draft from Chp 13

The demon was staring at his own reflection with a perturbed look and curl of the lip, a hand touching the side of his face. His gaze in the mirror shifted onto her. She blinked. ‘What?’

‘You humans are ugly.’

‘Gee, thanks.’

‘It's true. You’re a collection of flesh held together in a weird shape, powered by a slab of meat in your brain sending off electric currents.’

‘...I mean, I guess that’s kinda true?’

He dropped his hand, scowling at his own reflection once again before he turned to regard her. She was suddenly aware how close they were, wishing she hadn’t stood next to him. He seemed to only just be aware of their proximity too because in the next moment she noticed his gaze shift.

It was similar to how he’d look at her in the elevator ride. She immediately found herself on alert as she backed away.

‘Don’t even think about it,’ she warned.

‘Think about what?’

‘Whatever it is you’re thinking,’ she replied hotly. ‘Stop trying to freak me out by staring and touching me, it’s creepy. I’ll punch you again, I mean it.’

He stared at her impassively for a moment before looking away, and the danger she’d felt seemed to fade away. ‘As if I’d wanna touch you. Get off your high horse, kid.’

‘Wha- says the guy who keeps harassing me!’

Bill scowled at her. ‘I’m a demon. It’s what I do.’

‘So you do admit it!’ He kept contradicting himself.

Bill said nothing, looking annoyed as he remained silent for a moment. After a while he released an aggravated grunt and waved a hand dismissively. ‘Hmph, so what? I’m Bill Cipher, I can do what I want! If I wanna touch you, I’ll touch you.’

‘Excuse me?’ Both her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline as she pinned him with a look of disbelief. Talk about a petulant child.

‘Ya heard me.’ He reached out an arm towards her, which Mabel quickly batted away before he tried to grab at her with the other. She swatted him away again, scuffling with the demon. As persistent as he seemed however, she didn’t get the same vibes from him as she had in the doorway to the diner, or the elevator. He wasn’t being serious right now, he was just messing. Which meant rather than being concerned or scared, she was just pissed off. It reminded her of when her seven year old cousin kept trying to grab her Robert Patterson posters off the wall every five seconds. So annoying.

A finger jabbed against her cheek before the brunet released a successful “ha!’ and pulled away with his arms thrown in the air. ‘See, I did it!

Mabel stared at him flatly. ‘You’re a jerk.’

Dropping his hands, he offered her a toothy grin. ‘Save the compliments, Shooting Star.’

#2 Alternate ending to Ch 16 after Angel left Bill

‘Do you trust me?’

The growing aggravation in her eyes was quickly cast aside and replaced by confusion, her eyes flickering across his face. After a moment however the steely gaze returned and she yanked her hand free, holding it protectively against her chest. ‘Why the hell would I?’

‘You’re sayin’ if the ground opened up beneath us, and you were hanging on for dear life, you wouldn’t accept my hand if I could pull you up?’

Mabel regarded him warily, eyes briefly looking at the ground beneath them as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. ‘What kind of weird hypothetical is that?’

‘Cm’on, humour me.’

She met his gaze only for a fraction of a second before she looked away again, looking uncomfortable. ‘If you’re telling me my only two choices were falling to my certain death, or taking your hand then I guess I’d have to take your hand. But I could just as easily say if I had to share my bed with you or a grizzly bear, I’d pick the bear!’

He grinned. ‘But you trust me a little bit then.’

‘Like on a scale of nought to a hundred, it’s a one. I’ve drank milk that has a higher percentage than that.’ She threw her hands up before giving him an exasperated look. ‘Why are you even asking about this? Is this some weird long-con prank?’

‘Nope.’ Oddly, it wasn’t. He just hadn’t been able to get Angel’s words out of his head. So Shooting Star apparently trusted him the tiniest sliver of a bit. And knowing that made him… slightly elated?

The smile he hadn’t been aware of on his face dropped at this revelation. If he was happy then it should be because he could find a way to take advantage of such a thing to his own benefit.

…But that hadn’t even entered his mind.

Bill frowned. Oh this wasn’t good. It was that damn Angel’s fault, her words had messed with his head! The best thing right now would be to get distance from the kid, but that wasn’t possible right now.

He glanced aside at her as she examined their surroundings, noting how she was chewing her fingernails again which meant she was nervous.

Yeah, he was too.

Urgh. He wanted to scratch again but that would just hurt.

If only he could squish the brat’s face again, that had been a good stress reliever. But as she said, she wasn’t a stress ball - no matter how warm and squishy her skin felt beneath his hands.

Infact…

‘Hey.’

Mabel sighed internally as she looked across towards the demon, anxious about what he’d say next. ‘Yeah?’

He grinned as he held out his hand.

Mabel stared at his hand expectantly. Then at him.

‘...Am I meant to do something with this?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, grab it.’

‘What, why?’

‘Just do it.’

‘I don’t want to hold your hand though.’

He frowned. ‘You said you didn’t want me to scratch my arms, so do it.’

‘How does holding hands stop you from scratching your eyes out?’

‘Distraction,’ he replied. ‘The disgustingness of holding your hand will keep my mind occupied.’

‘Do I have to?’

‘Only if you don’t want me to go digging for treasure in my skin.’

Urgh. Mabel didn’t wanna hold his hand. Especially when he’d been acting so weird. It was making her feel weird as well, since she didn’t know what to expect or do in response.

‘Okay, fine.’

He smirked as she slid her hand into his, unable to keep the grimace off her face. His skin was hot to the touch as he squeezed her hand tightly and she purposefully looked away. ‘Can we go now?’

‘Sure.’

#3 Deleted scene from Chp 21, set after Angel “died”

Readjusting the fabric wrapped around her injury until she was confident it wouldn’t fall off in five minutes, Mabel stood back up.

‘Done?’ Bill asked.

She nodded.

‘How’s the pain?’

She paused. There he went again, asking about her wellbeing. She wanted to dismiss it as him goading her, but there was no teasing or mockery in his voice.

There hadn’t been for a while now.

‘Nothing I can’t handle,’ she replied. A second later she added: ‘I’ve been putting up with you this entire time, after all.’

The demon looked surprised by her comment which was odd. ‘What?’

He studied her face for a moment before looking aside, shrugging. ‘Just not used to being smiled at like that.’

She froze. Was she smiling? She resisted the urge to raise her hands to her face, instead composing her face to relax. ‘So what? I’m a smiley person.’

‘Really? Coulda fooled me, you’ve been sour faced since I picked you up.’

‘Yeah, because you’ve been keeping me hostage! Nobody would smile in that situation!’

‘You haven’t been a hostage for a while now.’

‘That’s not- I- huh?’ she faltered, stumbling over her words. ‘What does that mean?’

‘Exactly what I said.’

She frowned. ‘You said so yourself, I can’t afford to leave.’

Bill groaned at that. ‘I say a lot of crap then change my mind, I’m my own worst enemy.’ He waved a hand dismissively. ‘Forget that stuff.’

‘Soooo, what? You’re not forcing me to help you anymore?’

Bill blinked at her. ‘....I mean hey, if you wanna keep helping me that’s fine.’

Mabel eyed him suspiciously. ‘All I want is to go home.’

‘And to do that, we need to get the Grimoire. I promise the moment I have it, I’ll get us outta here and you can go back home.’

‘Then what?’ she asked, feeling uncontent. ‘What will you do with the book after that?’

#4 Deleted scene intended to take place after Chp 17 but before they were thrown in jail. Here, Mabel’s memory of her phone conversation with Dipper is instead presented as a dream before I incorporated it into the jail illusion.

Throwing the phone across her room, the brunette grabbed a pillow and with a deep breath slammed her face into it and screamed.

Meanwhile, Mabel stared at herself from across the room with eyebrows drawn together. ‘I never said that…’

Sure they’d said nasty things together, but they’d ended the conversation and agreed they’d talk when they both calmed down. Mabel had been waiting for him to call her like he usually did.

She would never say the kind of mean and ugly things that just played out towards the end.

‘But you wanted to.’

She flinched at the whisper against her ear, snapping around to come eye to eye with-

‘Gideon?’

But as those pitch black eyes bore holes into her, her initial shock was swiftly eclipsed by a more sinister feeling. She took a step back.

“Gideon” smiled at her. ‘Time’s running out, child.’

She swallowed thickly, feeling suffocated down beneath the heavy pressure it exuded. ‘You…. What do you want? Where is Gideon?’

The Grimoire took a step after her, closing the distance once again. ‘What we want is simple.’

Its face loomed near her own, voidless eyes unblinking as it observed her seriously.

‘We want you, Mabel Pines.’

Its hands latched onto both sides of her face, nails sinking into her skin as it yanked her closer. She immediately reacted, releasing a yell as she shoved it away and tumbled backwards out of its clutches.

As soon as her back hit the ground, she woke up.

And there she saw another face, captivating blue eyes piercing into her own.

‘Morning, Sleeping Beauty. Have a nice nap?’

She scrambled up to her feet, heart thudding as she looked around wildly. She’d been asleep? What? How?

‘What happened?’

‘You tripped up.’

‘I tripped?’

‘Yep, slammed the ground on your face and passed out for five seconds.’

She frowned, beginning to have the vaguest recollection of falling over. Bill regarded her for a moment before his eyes suddenly focused on her face and he stepped closer. Mabel regarded him warily, raising an eyebrow. ‘What?’

‘How did you get those marks?’

‘What marks?’

He frowned, reaching out towards her face. Her stomach flipped at the action and she quickly leaned away, thoughts briefly dashing back to their earlier conversation.

‘Are you saying that you… like me?’

‘Ha, yeah right!’

The demon’s eyes narrowed at her reaction, outstretched fingers curling in on themselves as he slowly dropped his arm by his side. Blue eyes flickered over her face in a way she couldn’t discern, and then he said something she didn’t expect.

‘Oi, can I touch your face?’

‘Hah?’

His expression pinched. ‘It’s not like I- it’s for a reason, okay!?’

Mabel leaned further away, and that only seemed to make him more annoyed. Meanwhile, she was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with him. ‘What reason?’

‘Will you just say yes!’

‘Now you want me to say yes?’ she asked, eyebrows vanishing into her hairline.

He frowned. ‘What does that mean?’

‘Wha- seriously!?’ she asked, in disbelief. ‘You’ve been grabbing and physically harassing me since the moment we got in this place! And now you’re asking for my permission?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’ she asked, eyeing him suspiciously. What was he up to?

‘Can’t a guy try to be considerate?’

‘A guy can, sure. But not you.’

He scowled before turning away. ‘Forget this. You’re a brat.’

‘You’re the brat!’ she retorted, glaring at his back. ‘You’re acting like a little kid throwing a tantrum!’

He spun on his heel at that, eyes narrowed and he suddenly looked a lot more intimidating as he stepped towards her. Her anger faltered at the sudden change in mood as he towered over her. A pair of hands grabbed her by the forearms and she released a small “oop” as he jerked her forward so they were nose to nose, forcing her to stand on her tip-toes.

‘Angel.’

She blinked at the random word he spat out. ‘Huh?’

He glared at her a moment longer, and Mabel wasn’t sure what he was looking for in her expression but he clearly didn’t find it as after several moments the anger in his expression seemed to falter. ‘...Shooting Star?’

Mabel stared back at him, utterly lost. ‘What’s wrong with you?’

All at once his ire evaporated from his expression and he cast his eyes aside, muttering something beneath his breath. But then his eyes returned to meet her own, and Mabel saw that tell-tale shift in his gaze again. It wasn’t the one that indicated he was about to lie though.

So what did it mean he was going to do?

His grip on her arms tightened and Mabel felt her heart picking up as her stomach churned. They were so close she could feel his breath on her face, and she noted how his pupils dilated as she swallowed thickly.

Time to retreat. Time to move away-

‘Can I touch your face?’

She froze at the request, but she wasn’t sure why. He was asking so gently, it was weird. Especially when he was staring at her so intently like that. Was it really him who asked it? She was so caught by his eyes she hadn’t seen his mouth move.

‘Why?’ she asked quietly. There was no way she could just say yes to him. It was Bill! Even when his expression seemed to fall slightly in disappointment. There was absolutely no way she could say yes-

‘Okay, fine.’

-or okay, she had just said that, hadn’t she?

His gaze lit up before her eyes, an expression she’d only seen when he’d been revelling in terror or destruction beforehand. A set of warm hands suddenly cupped her face and where as she’d expected him to tug on her cheeks in a teasing manner, instead his thumbs brushed across her skin gently.

He leaned closer and her eyes widened. Wait, what was happening? She tried to will her arms to move but they felt like dead weight by her sides and he seemed closer still.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked, forcing the words past the solid lump in her throat. Her voice cut through their moment with Bill halting in place. In this position their lips were scarcely an inch apart, her entire vision taken up by his eyes. There was no way they’d started off this close - he’d definitely moved closer.

His grip on her face slackened and he pulled away, regarding her tensely before he raised a hand. She noted the blood smeared on his thumb and flinched, raising a hand to her own cheek. Since when had she been bleeding there? Her fingers came across a welted mark on both sides of her face.

-almost like a set of nails had pierced her skin.

She paled.

‘I wouldn’t go to sleep again if I were you.’

She raised her head, meeting Bill’s eyes as he warned her. He seemed… annoyed? She blinked and he turned away from her.

She dropped her hands from her face, slowly bringing them to cover her chest as she tried to calm her beating heart after what had just transpired.

It was fine. Everything was fine.

He’d just been examining the injuries on her face in his own weird and intrusive way. That was all.

Nothing more.

….Right?

#5 Alternate Chapter 18 opening which showed exactly how Mabel/Bill ended up getting thrown in “jail” by Buddy Gleeful.

‘This is the one.’

Mabel eyed the blue door. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yep. Got it on good authority.’

‘And whose authority is that?’ she asked.

He paused, and flashed her a smile. ‘Mine of course.’

Mabel’s eyes narrowed. Liar.

But she was too eager to get out of here to question him. So she reached out and opened the door before them, revealing a clinical-like office space. It didn’t seem much different from the corridors they’d been lost in for the past…. however many hours. Days? It felt like days.

Mabel hesitated on stepping in. The last time she entered a room it didn’t go well.

Bill however seemed to have no such qualms, walking on in and looking around the room so with a hint of uncertainty she followed after him. It looked just like-

‘A waiting room?’ she asked, observing the empty chairs lined around the pristine white room.

Bill walked up to the reception kiosk, knocking on the frosted glass that separated it from them. A dark shape shifted behind it and a female voice replied. ‘Name?’

‘Bill Cipher.’ He glanced her way. ‘Plus guest.’

‘He’s not seeing any visitors right now.’

‘We’re special.’

‘Uh huh. If you don’t have an appointment then-’

‘Can we make an appointment?’ Mabel asked, popping up beside him. She had no idea who “he” was but oh well.

The shape paused, and she could almost swear it tilted its head. ‘That voice…. are you Mabel Pines?’

‘Um, yes?’

‘Ooh, then in that case go right on it! VIP privileges, and all that.’

Mabel tilted her own head. ‘VIP?’

‘Nice, thanks chick!’ Bill said, taking the chance to open the door beside them. Mabel blinked as Bill gestured for her to follow, walking through the door as he held it open. They went into a smaller office, standing before two chairs and a desk. A larger chair stood on the opposite side, faced away from them with a figure seated on it.

‘...Bill Cipher and Mabel Pines, hm? Tell me, why are you visiting my office?’

Mabel frowned. That voice…

‘We need to find Gideon,’ Bill said.

‘Hah.’ There was a chuckle as the man slowly turned around in his chair, regarding the two of them with a benevolent smile.

‘Bud Gleeful?’ Mabel said in astonishment.

‘Ah ah, that’s Warden to you two,’ he corrected, sending her a smile though his gaze was stern.

Mabel looked at Bill who didn’t seem surprised. ‘Why is there a warden here?’

Bill looked back at her. ‘It is a prison.’

‘Yeah, but Bud? His dad? Why is he the warden?’

Bill shrugged. ‘Dunno, why is his step-mom the receptionist? Mindscape stuff. Anyway,’ he returned his gaze to Bud. ‘We’re looking for Gideon, current day. Mind showing us the way?’

Bud regarded the two of them as he smoked on a pipe. Since when had he smoked? His gaze switched between the pair of them. ‘I could show you the way, aye…’

Mabel regarded him. ‘I sense a “but” coming.’

Bud chuckled at that. ‘Aye, you’d be right. I’m happy to show the way to innocent folks coming on through this place but, well…’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘You aren’t innocent, hm?’

Bill rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I mean, I might have committed an odd crime or two.’

‘Or a billion?’ Mabel cut in.

Bud leaned back in his chair. ‘I’ll show you the way but first you have to be punished for your wrongdoings. Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time is what I always say! Ha!’

Bill made a face. ‘What kinda punishment we talking about here? We’re on a clock here, pal. Is there any way to speed past this, do like an apology letter? A Youtube streamer video where we cry and shit?’

Bud smiled. ‘This is the Mindscape, after all. You’ll be in and out less than an hour if you do it right’

‘Hmm. Alright, fine. Let’s get to it. Give me the stuff, big daddy.’

‘Big Daddy?’ Mabel repeated, looking at him in disgust.

Bill shrugged.

Bud laughed. ‘You’re funny. But alas, I wasn’t speaking to you when I spoke about wrongdoings.’

Bill paused. ‘Wait…’

Mabel raised an eyebrow. ‘You mean…’

‘Me?’ / ‘Her?’

‘Why me?’ Mabel cried. ‘He’s way worse than me!’

‘Definitely, I’ve got a billion years of petty crimes and interdimensional felonies on my head.’

‘True,’ Bud replied. ‘But you’re already being punished for your crimes as a demon, are you not? That’s a pretty nasty curse you got there.’

Bill went quiet at that.

Mabel watched as her companion became subdued, before she scowled at Bud. ‘What exactly are my crimes?’

‘You already know that, dear.’

She frowned. ‘...For what I said to Dipper?’

‘Mighty selfish, aren’t we?’ Bud asked, eyes gleaming.

Mabel felt her heart squeeze painfully, gripping at the chair tightly beneath her.

‘Hey now, that’s bullshit,’ Bill cut in, appearing to have recovered. ‘She might be a brat sometimes, but that ain’t a crime. Trust me, if it was, most of the population would be in prison!’

Bud shrugged. ‘I’m Warden. What I say, goes.’

Bill eyed him suspiciously. ‘Did the Grimoire pay you off somehow? Or are you being controlled by it? What gives here?’

Bud shrugged, leaning back as he resumed his smoking. ‘That’s my condition. If you want me to take you to Gideon, Mabel here has to do her time.’

She frowned.

Bill scoffed. ‘This is obviously a trap! We’re not going to fall for it.’

‘I’ll do it,’ Mabel said.

‘Wait, what?’

She stood up, glowering at Bud. ‘Whatever you wanna throw my way, I’ll take it.’

“Time’s running out, child.’”

Mabel wanted to get out of this place. More than ever. If she had to deal with this then so be it.

Bud smiled at her brightly. ‘Good, good! In that case-’

‘Hey, hey, hold your horses!’ BIll spat, standing up. He pinned her with a glare. ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Mabel raised an eyebrow. ‘Trying to get us to Gideon?’

‘This is a trap!’ he hissed, leaning towards her. ‘Who knows what’s gonna happen if you willingly walk right in.’

She paused for a moment before clenching her fists in her hands. ‘So what? You want to find Gideon, right? I’m here offering myself to help us with that.’

His face twisted. ‘You’re no good to me if something happens to you.’ He leaned closer, eyes narrowed. ‘You’re not doing this for the good of Gideon, you’re doing it because you want to get out of here.’

She averted her gaze.

‘So what if she is?’ Bud asked, cutting through their conversation. ‘People can do selfish actions that happen to benefit other people.’

Bill shot him a dark look, he turned to regard Mabel one more time before standing up. ‘Fine, but I’m tagging along with her.’

Bud stared at the demon for a moment before shrugging. ‘Sure, nothing against that.’

‘Sooo…. what happens now?’ Mabel asked.

Bud smiled at her. ‘Now, you do the time.’ Raising his hand, he snapped his fingers. And darkness took hold.

#keykeeper #might add these on as an extra bonus chapter when done publishing on ao3

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victimofthemusic · 1 year

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Ok. For the DVD Commentary (it was very hard to choose a passage - this is one of the best fics in the fandom imo):

"Finally, Xavier’s eyes move from her face to her shoulder and he whispers, “Can I see it?”

Surprised and slightly taken aback, her first reaction is to say no, to admonish him for being greedy and asking too much of her, for taking more than she’s willing to give.

But then she does what she refused to do last semester: she allows herself to look at him, really look at him, allows herself to see what he’s been trying to give her all along and she finds her own fears reflected back at her, the same fears she keeps under lock and key and buried six feet down in the depths of her soul. The same ones he allows to play out on his face, lurking like shadows in the depths of his eyes, his proverbial heart on his sleeve for her to see and hold and do with as she pleases, if she so wishes.

It hits her, then, like a proverbial arrow to the shoulder, that the scar she bears on her shoulder was originally meant for his heart, the same heart he bears to her now. The same heart she almost died protecting by making the choice to step in front of that arrow. That same arrow that he shot originally to protect her, even though she had done everything she could to prove she didn’t need to be saved. This scar binds them together, connecting them in a way that’s unchangeable and undeniable, as sacred as any vow or promise that could be uttered between two people and even though it’s been imprinted into her skin forever, it’s Xavier’s scar, too. This piece of her body is no longer just hers, it belongs to him, too. "

For a fic commentary on any one of my fics, please see this post here

Oh my gosh first things first--thank you so much @jandjsalmon for not just participating, but for saying such sweet things and for even reading this fic in the first place🥺❤️

And secondly, I'm going to tell you a secret--this is my favorite scene in this entire fic and I'm so happy this is the one you chose🖤

I struggled a lot with this fic--I have four different drafts sitting in my google docs and I kept re-writing and re-writing, because I was so nervous about my portrayal of Wednesday and for some reason, I kept thinking back to that scene in the last episode, where she takes the arrow for Xavier and I kept getting stuck on the significance of what that meant--quite literally putting your own life on the line for someone else, sticking your neck out for someone in order to keep them safe, to protect them in such a visceral way. And for me, that little moment, that's signifies Wednesday's shift in her feelings for Xavier--or at least, an unconscious acknowledgement of what she feels for him.

And my thoughts kind of...spiraled from there.

It's hinted at throughout the show that Xavier and Wednesday are somehow linked--not only are their powers similar, but Wednesday keeps getting compared--by both Goody and Morticia-- to a raven throughout the show and in the first episode, Xavier is seen painting a mural of ravens. They also have a habit of saving each other--Wednesday saving Xavier from being burned alive in his Godmother's coffin and Xavier pushing her out of the way of the gargoyle in the first episode.

It just seems to be this pattern, this cycle, of them looking out for each other, protecting each other and I really wanted some physical evidence of that, tangible proof to tell that story.

And that's when I realized, the only scar--physically, at least-- Wednesday would carry from that night would be the one left behind by the arrow. Goody healed her stab wounds, but this one scar--she would have that one forever. And it's one she bears because she stepped in front of that arrow to save Xavier's life.

Wednesday is a very solitary creature, who is admittedly selfish, likes control, has self-preservation instincts a mile wide and doesn't do things without thinking it through and this scar, to me, would contradict all of these things--tangible proof that for one moment, she didn't think, she put someone before herself and risked her life to save someone else. And not just anyone, but Xavier--someone who she felt she couldn't trust, but I would also wager to believe she knew she could trust him, but didn't understand why she knew that, why her body seemed to know that and she projected that suspicion onto him.

And I felt like this scar would be something Wednesday would struggle to come to terms with--because of everything it represented to her. And I think the memory of how she got that scar, what she did to earn it, would be something that held a significance to Wednesday.

(And it didn't escape my notice--or Wednesdays--that the scar would be shaped like an X, too😏)

And to me, this scene, it shows Wednesday surrendering to a truth that she's known all along--that Xavier is a part of her, that they're lives are linked, somehow, someway and for someone who struggles with emotions like Wednesday, this would be the only way she'd be able to show him that. And I think that would mean more to Xavier than anything else--Wednesday, bearing this part of herself to him, because it says more than those three words could.

(Wednesday would totally be the type to romanticize scars and this is a hill I'll die on)

Scars tell stories--where we've been, what we've been through, what we've survived--and once I latched onto this concept, the writing of this story happened organically and came so naturally, it wrote itself.

I'm so sorry for this long winded rant, I swear I didn't mean to make it this long and I will give you so much credit if you bother to read any of this rambling over just a five hundred word section of a fic.

Sigh.

Music is a big part of how I write and in case you're interested the top five songs I listened to when writing this were:

1). Snow on the Beach by Taylor Swift

2). Maroon By Taylor Swift

3). Labyrinth By Taylor Swift

4). California by Lana Del Rey

5). Anyone Else by PVRIS

And a bonus track:

6). Strangeness And Charm by Florence + the Machine

I hope you enjoyed this little bit (ha, more like a lot of bit, again I'm so sorry💀) of commentary and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble about something I'm so very passionate about❤️

If anyone else would like to participate in something like this, simply pick one of my fics from here or ao3 and choose a 500 word section to get background info, commentary, a more in depth explanation, funny little anecdotes or what I was thinking when writing said scene, feel free to send it to me in my asks🖤 this was so much fun to do and I’d love to do more🖤

Credit to this post here

🖤

#ask me anything #dvd commentary #fic commentary #wednesday fanfic #wednesday spoilers #xavier thorpe x wednesday #xavier x wednesday #wednesday netflix #jenna ortega #wednesday addams x xavier thorpe #wednesday addams #ao3fic #ao3 writer #ao3 author #asks open #cobra kai #top gun #top gun maverick

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bamababygirl7 · 2 years

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21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into? 🤔

🥰💞 This one was extremely hard because I try really hard to avoid confrontation. I guess the stupidest fight I’ve ever gotten into was a couple of months ago my ex’s gf kept calling me and texting me because they broke up for a little while. She told me that she just wanted to talk to me because she was hurting so badly from the break up, and I was the only person who would be able to understand since I had been with him for so long. I felt really bad for her, so even though I knew that things were probably going to be brought up that would affect my mental health in a bad way and people told me just to keep ignoring her, I can’t stand for people to hurt alone so I gave in and talked to her. It didn’t take long until she was telling me that I’m ruining her life because my ex still loves me and telling me that I’m a bad person for chasing after someone who is in a relationship (even though we were married when she started dating him lol) and begging me to never respond to him again so that their relationship would work.

Instead of setting clear boundaries with her, I felt the need to argue with her defending my parenting that she attacked and proving to her that I was not the one chasing him by sending screenshots of the messages he had been sending to me and my responses to him telling him that I would never be with him again. Even though she asked me to send the conversations and she was saying super hateful and hurtful things to me (brought up things concerning my son and my ex that I try to block out because dwelling on them made me an extremely angry person for so long), I knew that sending those screen shots were going to hurt her and at that point I didn’t care.

I say it was the stupidest fight because I went against my intuition and advice of others who know the whole situation knowing that it was going to set me back, and I had come so far in my healing journey from the trauma of being married to a narcissist for so long. And it did just that. I went into a deep depression again revisiting all of the pain that I endured during my relationship with my ex. I disassociated. I went into crazy mode and deleted My main Discord server without telling anybody in it before I deleted it. I refused to talk to my amazing friends (except for snowydaddydom1 because I didn’t have the option to quit talking to him lol which I’m thankful for because he is amazing and helped pull me out of the dark) who had been there for me, so I hurt them in the process as well. Thankfully, I have the most awesome friends who let me go through what I needed to go through and accepted me and were there for me no matter what. I know this post is long and got derailed as mine usually do (ADHD life lol) but thankfully the confrontation with my ex’s gf has helped me work harder on setting and enforcing boundaries and making my mental health a priority.

I guess I got distracted with hateful anon this morning and saved this one in my drafts too instead of posting it 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

#I guess I just need to vent #and then show appreciation #to an amazing friend #bamababygirl7🥰💞#🥰💞my asks #my asks

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darksideofthemamon · 1 year

Photo

My art recap for 2022! (LONG POST)

(I can't save drafts anymore over on Twitter so uhh guess I'll have to do this earlier than I would have wanted XD )

I was busy this year, and that’s why I didn’t get to make as much art as I did the previous years. My goal was to make at least 1 piece a month, but ended up cutting it down to having enough for this collage. I could go on about how I wish I could do more, but doing this recap made me think about the things to be grateful for, which I’ll focus on instead:

1) I was able to pick up on old concepts and finish them.

My initial sketch for this Klarion piece may have been from around 2020, but this design along with all my Klarion ideas were much, much, older. It feels good to be able to follow through on old idea.

2) I made art for fandoms I hadn’t before.

I’ve been into Sandman and Hellblazer for years but it’s only now I’ve made fanart for them. FOTF is out of my comfort zone and I often struggle with fanart for live action shows (which Desire here is from), yet I’m happy with the results. I think it shows that back then I wasn’t there YET, but I am NOW.

3) I challenged myself and came through.

This Keykid piece is my most complex from this year. I had a hard time with the details and foreshortening. I could have gone the easy route several times but kept pushing to achieve my vision. In the end, I’m happy with the result.

4) Things did get better.

This food piece is nothing special and I could have swapped it with my much nicer Keykid piece. But I did the food one during an art block when I felt hopeless and thought I wouldn’t be able to draw anymore or have time for it. But by the end of the year, I did achieve more than I thought I would, so I kept it in.

5) I was still able to do things for my CT AU.

I finally posted a 2-year old WIP fanfic (read here!), and also started doing asks and occasional RP-ing. I also made this Halloween idea I’ve had for just as long. Even though the AU didn’t get much this year, I was still able to accomplish some firsts.

6) In the end, I had more than enough for the collage. More than I thought I’d have at the start of the year.

So what’s my takeaway from this year? Sometimes we don’t achieve things because it’s not the right time, but that doesn’t mean never. It just means NOT YET. So at the end of the year 2022, I will think not about what I “didn’t do”, but instead what I did, and what I didn’t do YET.

On that note, I capped this year's art this month to focus on busy life stuff and also prepare a bunch of concepts in advance for next year! I'm excited for it and hope to make great stuff.

Happy holidays everyone!

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prince-rowan-of-the-forest · 1 year

Text

Almost, A Light in the Dark

1 : Lure of The Light

"In almost any case, we embrace you," Virgil had said.

Roman knew he hadn't meant it like that, Virgil would never say something so cruel. That didn't mean he could stop thinking about it.

It didn't mean it wasn't true for the others, either.

----

A look into Roman's buildup to becoming a dark side in my Darkside!Roman AU

| AO3 | Next Part -> |

Warnings: Some self depreciation, please let me know if there's thing else

Pairings: Roceit (though it's only the buildup to romantic) creativitwins, Roman & Virgil

Word count: 7444 (first part)

Notes:

Second part coming out either later tonight or tomorrow :)

Hello hello, I wrote half of this entire thing yesterday, the other half had been sitting in my drafts for... like a month, lol.

I don't post that often about Darkside!Roman, but he's great and beautiful and I love him very much.

As a side note, none of the light sides are unsympathetic, because i don't think I could deal with writing that, I also couldn't write Roman and Virgil with a bad relationship, even if Virgil's comment inspired this, so there's a little salt there, but nowhere near as much as there is with Patton especially. haha.

“In almost any case we-”

Roman slammed his head onto his stack of papers, hoping that the impact would get that infuriating line out of his head, but he just couldn’t shake it.

The song they had sung during that stupid puppet episode had been bothering him almost constantly since. And why? Because they’d solved the issue! They’d gotten to vent about their issues a little- at least, Virgil and Patton had, all he’d done was insult the others and then have a bunch of assumptions made about him when he really hadn’t wanted to open up at all. But the only thing that mattered was that Thomas had felt better afterwards.

And what was the line that was bothering him? Of course, something that Virgil said.

“You don’t need to save face, in almost any case we embrace you-”

There was a difference, Roman thought, between thinking someone’s love was conditional and hearing them say it outright.

He was sure Virgil hadn’t meant it like that. Surely he didn’t, and then they’d said that no-one hates him but- how could he be sure? And that’s how it started.

It had been months since then and Roman had just been getting worse, making mistake after mistake that he couldn’t fix. A little part of him felt like he was doing it purposefully. Making everything worse and worse, because what was that almost? What fell beyond the line of acceptance? Where were the boundaries?

After how many mistakes would they deem him unworthy of their love?

—-

The courtroom had been horrible.

Roman had acted silly, making jokes and acting dumb and pretending to be fine whilst inside he was tearing himself apart. What decision could he make? Either way it wouldn’t end well. It was a decision between Patton and Deceit, or, more accurately, Patton and Thomas . He either kept Patton happy or gave Thomas- and by extension himself- something they wanted more than anything. But if he sided with Deceit then Patton would hate him and so would Virgil.

The whole time he sat behind the judge’s bench, watching Deceit question Logan and Virgil and then practically interrogate Patton and then lecture Thomas, he couldn’t help but think he agreed. He agreed with the snake, and what could that mean? Did that make him bad? But Deceit was right . This whole argument was between something that Thomas wanted, really, really wanted, and something that wouldn’t make him feel good at all, though it would make him feel far less guilty, to be there for his friends when they invited Thomas in person too. Roman couldn’t understand why they couldn’t just… talk to Lee and Mary-Lee, it made no sense.

But even though Deceit was right, that going to the callback was the best choice and really, the one everyone but Patton actually wanted, Roman had still chosen to have Thomas go to the wedding. In the end, he couldn’t stand to lose Patton’s support and faith in him, even if it cost them their mental health.

And cost him his mental health it had.

As soon as the video was done, Roman had sunk out of his room and buried himself in his blankets. He peeked out, looking at the Hollywood posters- amongst all the Broadway and Disney- that were plastered to his walls. His eyes found the Alfred Hitchobolucus poster- for Psycho Godfather Wars- and his eyes welled up with tears. He really had cost them their chance to be on the silver screen, which, to quote Logan, statistically they will not get again.

Oh, what had he done.

—-

Roman didn’t come out of his room for three days after the courtroom. He knew the others were probably worried, but he couldn’t face them right now. He didn’t want to hear Patton tell him he had made the right choice when he hadn’t . He didn’t want to talk to Virgil and find out just how much he had fucked up and he definitely didn’t want to talk to Logan, who would just inform him that he’d made the wrong choice in a slightly different font.

And he didn’t want to find out whether their conditional love had met its limits just yet.

On the third day of his solitude, Roman was practically miserable. He’d been eating the snacks he kept in his room to eat while he worked- though he hadn’t done much of that- he had barely moved from his bed for more than to shower.

There was a knock on his door. Three knocks, actually, quick and sharp with the exact same amount of time between them. That wasn’t Patton, who always knocked a different pattern each time- he thought it was funny- it wasn’t Virgil, who always knocked quietly as if he was afraid the door would attack him if he hit it too hard. And it wasn’t Logan, who always knocks twice, evenly and much more gently. It couldn’t be his brother, because Remus had never knocked on a door in his life and why would Remus be coming to see him anyway, he was stuck over in the dark side.

So that left…

“Go away, Deceit,” Roman called, his voice wavered- he really hoped the other side hadn’t noticed, “I don’t want to speak with you.”

His door opened anyway. Damn Deceit.

“Well I don’t want to speak with you either, and this is not important at all.” Deceit said, standing in his doorway with a frown on his face.

“What could you possibly want to talk to me about that’s so important,” Roman said, not looking up, “Go talk to someone else.”

“No,” Deceit said, walking in and closing the door behind him, the sound finally making Roman snap to attention, “It has to be you.”

“What? What is it then? Is this about the courtroom? Are you going to tell me I was stupid? That I made the wrong choice and all of this is my fault?” Roman asked, gripping the blankets in his fists, “You want to let me know that everyone’s decided I’m not worth it? That Thomas is suffering now because of me? Because, newsflash, I already know all that.”

Deceit was silent for a moment. Before he sighed and came closer, stopping at the edge of Roman’s bed.

“May I sit?”

“You may not.” Roman said harshly, he just wanted Deceit to leave, what the hell was this all about anyway?

“Alright,” Deceit nodded, staying where he was, “I definitely came here to tell you all of those things you listed, and definitely not to talk about the fact that everyone is worried about you.”

Roman laughed, almost hysterically, “I highly doubt that.”

“Why’s that?” Deceit asked, tilting his head, “They haven’t seen you since the courtroom.”

“So why are you here and not them?” Roman asked, wrapping his arms around himself, “If they really were worried about me, they’d have come to check on me.”

“They’re definitely not also recovering from the stress that your decision in the courtroom-”

“My decision? My decision? Like there was any real decision to be made,” Roman cried, throwing up his hands. He could feel the tears pooling in his eyes once more, “I made a mistake, I know I did, I was- I was selfish and look where that got me!”

Deceit’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean you were selfish, I thought you wanted to go to the callback? Sentencing Thomas to the wedding was definitely the most selfish thing you could have done.”

“It- it was selfish!” Roman said, rubbing forcefully at his eyes in an attempt to get rid of the tears, “If I had- had chosen the callback Patton and Virgil would’ve- they would’ve hated me for siding with you ! Even if it was the best choice for Thomas, I was- I chose to please Patton instead because I didn’t want to- to lose them. But hey, look at that, it’s still all fucked up. It was a lose-lose situation.”

“Hey, sweetheart, look at me,” Deceit said and Roman jumped, he had no idea Deceit could talk that softly. He looked up.

“You definitely fucked everything up, alright?” Deceit said, reaching forward and, when Roman didn’t jerk away, wiping a tear from his cheek with a gloved finger. Roman was surprised that the fabric was so soft- Virgil had been sure they were washing up gloves.

Deceit sighed, “Roman, sweetheart, I put you in a harmful position in that courtroom, I totally knew you had so much riding on it when I did so, all I considered was that you were most likely to side with me.”

“They hate you,” Roman said, voice smaller than even he’d ever heard it, “Especially Virgil, and Patton just thinks that you want to drive Thomas down the wrong path it’s just- I could see what you were trying to do, and- well I know what the right choice was, and now everyone is miserable because I made the wrong one.”

Deceit rolled his eyes, “Do you really think I care about them liking me? I should hope the amount of effort I put into playing the villain would work better than that.”

“It’s difficult to convince people to do something when they hate you,” Roman pointed out, sniffing.

“Well that’s why I tried to get you on my side, isn’t it?” Deceit said with a smile, putting a hand on his hip, “You didn’t want to go to the callback as much as I did, and besides, you’ve been the least outwardly hateful to me out of all of you.”

“So you just wanted to use me?” Roman asked, eyes narrowing and hands once again gripping at the blankets. If only he was as smart as Logan or as suspicious as Virgil, then he might’ve noticed for goodness sake, he was so stupid, he’d let himself get used - there was a finger on his nose. His eyes widened, looking up at Deceit, who smiled softly and removed his hand.

“You got lost in your thoughts,” Deceit said by way of explanation, “And did I say that? No, I didn’t use you, only manipulated the circumstances for the highest chance of success.”

“But it still didn’t work.”

“Oh of course it all went according to plan,” Deceit chuckled, “But that’s only because I thought to account for extra variables.”

Roman hummed in agreement, pulling himself up to sit properly, he thought for a second, before sighing, “Hey, Deceit?”

“Yes, darling?” Deceit asked. Roman paused, Deceit knew a lot about philosophy and psychology too, like Logan did, he might help… but- oh, he didn’t want to make this any worse.

“Nevermind,” He sighs, “It was stupid, don’t worry.”

“Well now I’m definitely not going to worry,” Deceit huffed.

“It’s- really fine I just- was thinking about how the others never came to check on me…” Roman sighed, “It’s not like I locked myself in here to- test them - or something I just… I’m a little disappointed it was you, no offence.”

“Full offence taken,” Deceit said, “But it doesn’t make me wonder why you worry.”

“Oh well- I suppose-” Roman shook his head, “It’s because of a stupid offhanded thing Virgil said in a video a while ago, but, my brain won’t let it go no matter how silly it is to worry about.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, really, it isn’t your problem to deal with,” Roman said firmly, “Why- actually why are you even still here? You told me they were worried- so…”

“Perhaps I was worried also,” Deceit shrugged, “But I won’t go if you want me to.”

“Yes I… think I’d like to be alone some more, but um- thank you, I suppose, for checking on me,” Roman offered a tentative smile, “Even though I was rude to you.”

“You had no right to be,” Deceit said with a shrug as he moved away from Roman’s bed and back towards the door, turning back just before stepping through, “Call on me if you need anything, alright?”

“I- um- will?” Roman said, though it was phrased more like a question, why had Deceit offered something like that? Did he… actually care? Surely not…

—-

Roman couldn’t believe he’d been knocked out for that whole episode.

He knew sulking in his room wasn’t going to actually achieve anything, but after his own brother had knocked him out on camera and made a complete fool of him to the audience, he thought it was a valid response.

Something had changed after the end of the filming for that episode, though Roman hadn’t stuck around long enough to find out what. He was sure the others would fill him in later, probably alongside chastising him for running off so quickly. Roman wasn’t scared of his brother, far from it, actually. He missed Remus, all of his whacky ideas and hilarious strangeness that the others would never see past his label as Intrusive Thoughts. What he was scared of, though was…

Well if Remus was around, what if Roman faltered his persona? What if Patton saw through his act? Saw that he wasn’t quite the perfection he presented himself as? What if they saw Remus and saw him not as a separate side but as a fault of Roman? Roman didn’t want that for either of them.

And he couldn’t risk his facade cracking even a little. Not if he wanted to stay with his FamILY.

For now, though, he didn’t have time to worry about all that. He had to brother-proof his room, because if Remus was able to show himself to Thomas then that probably meant he could get into the light side’s mindscape too. Roman had to make sure his room was protected against his brother’s slime and grime.

Speaking of…

“Hey Ro!”

…Remus was hanging through a hole in the ceiling. Roman looked up and simply sighed, that would have to be fixed.

“Hello, brother,” Roman said, his voice full of salt, “What do you want? Come to knock me out again?”

“Nope!” Remus said, dropping down from the ceiling to crash on the ground, standing up slowly with a grin on his face, “Just wanted to say hi! It’s been a while, y’know?”

Roman paused, looking back at him, surprise probably etched across his face, “Really? And that’s all? No- trap? Or trick?”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Course not, just a reunion, I might’ve gotten something gross on my hands though.”

“Don’t touch me,” Roman said, narrowing his eyes, “But- alright, a reunion probably is in order, I suppose.”

“Oh yay!” Remus cheered, “I thought you’d chase me out with a pitchfork as soon as I showed up!”

“I’m still considering it,” Roman snapped, “So don’t push it.”

“Ok Ok jeez,” Remus huffed, “I brought cake!”

Roman furrowed his brows, staring at Remus in suspicion, “Is it edible?”

“Dee made it, so, probably?” Remus said, summoning said cake into existence. It did look good, despite Roman’s hesitation, Remus barked out a laugh, “I’m not allowed in the kitchen.”

“Neither am I,” Roman said, allowing himself a small chuckle. Remus' laughter, when it was real, was contagious for Roman, he hated it, “But if someone else made it, then I- suppose it’s ok to eat?”

“Hurrah!” Remus cheered, pulling a knife out of thin air which Roman immediately snatched, “Hey!”

“Absolutely not, it’s probably infected with rabies or something,” Roman said, frowning, Remus pouted.

Shaking his head, Roman took the cake and placed it down on his desk before summoning a knife of his own and cutting a large slice that Logan would definitely disapprove of. The cake was red velvet, Roman’s favourite. He wondered if it was Remus' favourite too, he found he couldn't remember.

Roman handed the first slice to Remus, knowing he wouldn’t bother with a plate and cutlery even if Roman put in the effort of summoning them. The sight of his brother stuffing his face with cake like that kid from Matilda made Roman chuckle as he cut his own piece.

Once Remus was done licking the icing off of his fingers he immediately picked up the knife to cut himself another slice, making Roman laugh.

“You’re going to make yourself sick,” Roman said, Remus rolled his eyes, taking another bite of cake, "We really shouldn't eat too much."

“Wh’re’s t’e fun in’at,” He said though his mouthful, dropping crumbs everywhere, he swallowed, “C’mon Ro! Have fun! We don’t gotta tell anyone we ate the whole cake! You know you want to-”

Roman shook his head, though a smile was already taking over his face as he reached for the knife, “Fine, getting sick it is.”

“It’s not even that big of a cake,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah well usually I wouldn’t get that much,” Roman huffs, “Not when everyone wants to share it.”

“Sharing’s for losers and nerds,” Remus waved him off.

“We’re sharing this cake right now?” Roman said, confused.

“We’re the exception,” Remus said, as if that was supposed to be obvious. Roman shrugged and took another bite of cake.

—-

Remus dropped by much more often after that.

Roman couldn’t deny that it was… nice, to see his brother again. Admittedly- though he wouldn’t tell the others- he had missed Remus since he was banished to the Darkness though he had forgotten quite how much. He was pretty certain by this point that Remus had missed him as well, it had been almost two months and Remus had kept showing up in his room, after all.

They didn’t sit in silence, because Remus didn’t do silence, but they sat in relative calm. Every now and then Remus would say something that would either make Roman laugh or recoil or reach over to smack Remus on the arm. Between those instances Remus would whistle or hum and occasionally make random noises. Roman found that while maybe it would be annoying in most other cases, it was actually pretty nice. Usually Roman would fill the quiet by singing, but it was nice to have it filled by someone else for once.

“Hey, I heard the others were gonna do a movie night instead of going out,” Remus said, cutting off something else he was saying- he did that sometimes, got halfway through a sentence and then had another thought, “Are ya going?”

“I- didn’t even know, I suppose they thought I was too busy sulking,” Roman said, slowly, “Wait, how do you know?”

“Well! Now I can get into the light side’s space, I just thought I’d do a bit of eavesdropping!” Remus said with a shrug, “But yeah apparently it’s to do with that thing that happened yesterday.”

“With Rico?” Roman asked, cringing a little, he supposed that had been on all of their minds, and they’d decided not to go to that party only half an hour ago. That’s why Roman was in his room in the first place.

“Mhm,” Remus said, “I’m going, Dee isn’t- he said they wouldn’t want him! But! I stole his hat so he can be there in spirit!”

Remus grinned and produced Deceit’s hat with a flourish, Roman gasped.

“He never takes that off, does he? How did you get it?” Roman asked. Remus cackled.

“I did a sneaky!” he said, passing the hat to Roman, he took it with only slight hesitation.

“Well done,” Roman said with a smile.

Remus jumped up and offered Roman a hand, “Let’s go crash a movie night!”

Roman choked out a laugh, taking Remus’ hand and standing up himself, changing into his onesie as he did so, “Yes, lets.”

“Hell yeah!” Remus grinned, running out of the room with Roman following at a more sedated pace.

The others hadn’t invited him? Well, he and Virgil had been the most affected by the situation with Rico, so maybe the others had decided to leave him alone in case they upset him, but surely they would’ve at least offered? Had they forgotten him? Or deliberately left him out for some other reason?

The movie night was tense, just as everything else between them had been recently. Roman couldn’t help but think it was all his fault for making that decision back in the courtroom. And the wedding hadn’t even happened yet.

—-

“Heyyy Ro- huh?” Remus barged into his room unannounced again, probably through the hole in the ceiling that Roman hadn’t patched up yet. Roman couldn't actually see his brother, considering he was currently buried under a mound of blankets in an attempt to hide from this stupid mess he’d caused.

“Ro?” Remus said, closer now, he patted the top of the blankets, making Roman yelp in surprise- he had been holding his breath in an attempt to stop crying, “You ok in there? What’re you doing pretending to be a bedbug?”

“I- I’m not in the mood right now, Remus,” Roman choked out, he knew from experience that his brother was unlikely to listen, but at least he could say he tried now. He really didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment.

“Ooooh you’re upset…” Remus said, and then he went silent for a minute and Roman thought that maybe he had actually left, if only he could be so lucky, “Ok, so I dunno how to deal with this,”

“J-just go away,” Roman mumbled. Maybe he wished he could cuddle up with Patton or listen to music with Virgil to make himself feel better, but that was pretty much out of the question now, so he just wanted to be alone.

“No can do, bro,” Remus said, “But! I am gonna go get someone who actually can help, ‘kay?”

“Nooo,” Roman groaned. He was once again ignored.

“Good! Don’t go anywhere!”

He heard Remus climb up into the ceiling and skitter off like a rat in the walls and Roman tried to pull himself together while he waited for whoever Remus was going to force into coming here.

Only minutes later Roman heard the telltale swoosh that came with someone rising up in his room and then Remus was patting his blankets again.

“Hey Ro, I brought mental assistance,” He said in a tone that suggested that he was probably grinning. Great.

“I am hardly adequate ‘mental assistance’ Remus,” Oh, great, it was Deceit, “I expect Roman really wants to talk to me, of all sides.”

Damn right.

“Good!” Remus said, giggling, “Now I’m gonna go find Patton’s ‘sad times’ cookie stash and bring them back for us to eat, so you can make Roman feel better whilst I’m gone!”

And Remus disappeared into the ceiling again. Roman heard Deceit sigh.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Roman said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“You think I don’t know that?” Deceit said, “Fortunately, Remus has assigned me to help you, which means if I don’t I’m going to wake up to him boiling mayonnaise or some other, similarly disgusting revenge, so I hope you understand why I must at least try.”

Roman couldn’t help the quiet laugh that forced its way out through the tears.

“May I sit with you?” Deceit asked, sounding a little closer than before. Roman paused, thinking, if he was lucky then maybe he could get a hug after all, even if it was from Deceit who, now that Roman thought about it, probably gave very good hugs considering he had six arms.

“I- sur- uh- okay,” Roman stammered, damnit. He’s supposed to be fearless and brave and powerful, brave people don’t cry about stupid shit.

He felt his bed dip where Deceit sat down next to him.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” He said, in that stupidly soft tone that he had used just that one other time, “Could you come out from under the blankets?”

“I’m a- a mess,” Roman said, trying harder than he should have to to suppress the stutter in his voice.

“That’s not alright,” Deceit told him, “I live with Remus, my standards for what’s considered ‘mess’ are definitely not through the floor.”

Roman couldn’t help but laugh again, trying to wipe away the least of the tears before digging himself out of his blanket pile. When he looked up at Deceit he found his fellow side looking at him with a soft smile, as if seeing Roman in all of his teary glory and somehow made his day better. It sent a pang though his heart, he couldn’t remember the last time any of the others had looked at him like that.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Deceit said, still smiling, he reached for Roman’s face before hesitating at the last moment, he met Roman’s eyes, looking for a confirmation. Roman, in response and because his brain seemed to be struggling to form words at the moment, butted his face against Deceit’s outstretched hand like a cat looking for attention. It made Deceit chuckle and turn his hand to cup Roman’s face properly, thumb brushing away a tear from under his eye.

“Hey,” Roman choked out, unsure how to respond to this whole situation. It was strange, and the voice in his head was telling him to run far, far away from Deceit. Roman chose to ignore it, though, because the voice sounded suspiciously like Patton and Roman had decided recently that he… didn’t really trust Patton’s judgement so much anymore. He leaned into the hand, closing his eyes for a moment and basking in the comfort that one little touch gave him.

He wasn’t touch starved, he couldn’t be- not with Remus for a brother- but he had definitely missed this kind of touch specifically. The kind that just felt safe .

“What’s gotten you all upset, hm?” Deceit asked, swiping his thumb back and forth across Roman’s cheek and oh, he wanted nothing more than to just melt into that touch and stay there forever.

“It’s stupid,” Roman mumbled, leaning into the hand on his face.

“Everything that upsets you is stupid, darling,” Deceit told him, shaking his head. Roman sighed.

“They didn’t invite me to their movie night- or- movie day, I guess,” Roman said, before adding on, “Again.”

“Oh I see, Roman, sweetheart, that’s a completely unreasonable thing to be upset over,” Deceit told him, bringing up another hand so he could cup Roman’s face properly, “When did this start happening?”

“Uh- a few weeks ago… I think?” Roman said slowly, “It was- that time me and Remus stole your hat, was the first time.”

“Ah, I don’t remember,” Deceit nodded.

“And- and there’s been a few times I’ve- caught them, I guess- doing things together without me, too I just- I guess this time was-”

“It pushed you over the edge,” Deceit finished, “Don’t worry, I don’t understand.”

“I- thank you,” Roman muttered, leaning into Deceit’s hands.

“Is there anything that I can do to make you feel any better?” Deceit asked, still just as soft as he had been this whole time.

“Could we… hug, maybe? If that isn’t too weird?” Roman asked after a second, hesitant. He wasn’t sure if Deceit would be ok with that, of course, after everything. Besides, it’s not like he was about to admit how badly he wanted it.

“Of course that’s too weird,” Deceit said, taking his hands away from Roman’s face only to open his arms in invitation, “Come here.”

Roman practically collapsed into the embrace, burying his face in Deceit’s shoulder. Part of him, a small part but still noticeable, was still screaming about how wrong, wrong, wrong this situation was but Roman stamped that small part of him down for now as he buried his face in the soft fabric of Deceit’s capelet. He felt Deceit’s arms wrap tightly around him, squeezing him tightly but not so tight that he felt he couldn’t breath. It was… amazing, possibly the best hug he’d ever gotten.

“You hug good,” Roman mumbled, when Deceit laughed he felt it.

“I am absolutely not glad you think so,” Deceit told him, using another hand to brush through his hair. The touch almost made Roman shudder, “I perfected it with Remus.”

“Really?” Roman asked.

“Mhm,” Deceit hummed, “He likes to be squashed within an inch of his life.”

“Sounds accurate,” Roman said with a small chuckle of his own, “This is nice.”

“It’s slightly less squishy than I would hug Remus,” Deceit admitted, “I thought you might prefer not being suffocated.”

“Thank you, much appreciated.”

They were silent for a moment, Roman simply melting into the embrace he’d wanted for so long, strong arms holding him close, a hand in his hair. Roman found that he really didn’t have a problem with it being Deceit.

“An idea,” Deceit said quietly, “How about, when Remus returns, we have our own movie night?”

“Here?” Roman asked, “I- uh- I don’t have a TV- and this space isn’t big enough for all three of us…”

“The imagination then?”

“I… don’t really have the energy to create us a space right now…” Roman said, face going red with embarrassment. He struggled to conjure when he was upset, he’d never told anyone that, though.

“That’s not alright, darling,” Deceit said, fingers threading through his hair, “If you’d like to have a movie night, we definitely won't be able to find a solution.”

“I… think I would like to do that,” Roman decided, just as the door slammed open.

“Wasssup fuckers!” Remus yelled, stopping in the doorway, “Oh, you two didn’t kill each other! Interesting. Gotta make notes on that social experiment…”

“Why-”

“It’s best not to question it,” Deceit cut him off, “Remus, don’t you think Patton will notice all those cookies are missing?”

Roman finally removed his face from Deceit’s shoulder to look up at his brother, who did in fact have his arms full of cookie packets.

“Ah, who cares?” Remus huffed, “So! What’re we doing?”

“A movie night, I believe,” Deceit answered.

“Oh great! Good thing I have all these cookies, then, huh?” Remus cackled, “Where are we going?”

“That’s what we were trying to figure out,” Roman said, finally pulling away from hug to simply sit on the bed, hands folded in his lap, “I don’t have a TV, the imagination doesn’t- eh- do what I want it to do when I’m upset, and the others are using the commons…”

“We could just use our commons,” Remus shrugged, “C’mon, let’s go!”

“Your commons, as in, the dark side’s mindscape?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Remus tilted his head at Roman.

“But I can’t- go there!” Roman protested, “Isn’t it dangerous?”

Deceit shook his head, “It’s definitely as terrible down there as the others make it out to be. And while there are… others down there, they’ll definitely bother you if you’re with us.”

“Won’t I get trapped if I stay too long?” Roman asked, confused, isn’t that what happened?

“Of course,” Deceit said, “It’s not like I control which sides can and can’t leave. You won’t be fine, I assure you.”

“...Alright then,” Roman said, giving in, “But if you betray me, I will slay you.”

—-

The dark side’s commons were not nearly as bad as Roman had expected them to be. Whilst, yes, they were dark and a little menacing, it was also far more… cosy, than he had expected.

It was still a mirror of Thomas’ house, though there were bigger differences than the light sides had. In place of the blinds and window were large floor to ceiling bookshelves made from some dark wood. The kitchen cabinets seemed to be made from the same kind of wood, decorated with dark grey, giving it much more of a dark-cottage-in-the-woods feel rather than the more modern feel Thomas’ apartment had.

Roman thought it was strange, how welcoming it was. There were spider webs in the shadowy corners, weird ornaments on the bookshelves- one being a severed hand- and a couple of weird stains in the carpet, but somehow none of that served to deter him from the space as a whole.

After waving him over to the sofas, Deceit took a few bowls from the kitchen and placed them on the table to hold Remus’ acquired snacks. They had Roman pick the first film and then chose together for the second. By the third film though, most of the cookies had been eaten and Roman was feeling impossibly tired…

—-

Roman had woken up the next morning to a warmth he wasn’t used to. Remus was snoring, curled up against him on Roman’s left, whilst Deceit was curled up on his other side with one of his arms thrown over Roman’s shoulder.. It felt… protective, somehow, the way the pair had caged him in the middle. He thought maybe he should feel trapped or restricted by the pair, but he couldn’t help that he only thought it was nice.

While he sat there, staring at the blank TV in the semi-darkness of the dark-side’s commons, Roman wondered what time it was. Would Remus and Deceit wake up soon? Or would he have to get up and leave by himself? He really shouldn’t spend too much time down here after all, though Deceit had told him it would be safe, he… couldn’t help but still be suspicious.

He needn’t have worried, though, because Deceit woke up not minutes after him. He had insisted that Roman stay for breakfast before going back up. He’d made pancakes that were just as good as Patton’s had ever been- if not better.

When Roman got back to his room he discovered that his fingernails were painted red though he didn’t remember painting them. How strange.

—-

They started having movie nights down in the darkside’s common every few days. Most of the time it was just him, Remus and Deceit but sometimes Remy joined them as well. It turned out that Remy frequented the darkside’s commons much more often than the light side’s, since it was closer to the subconscious where he worked. Roman didn’t mind a fourth addition to their movie nights, it just meant more snacks.

And then, a month or so later, came the dreaded wedding.

Everyone knows what happened after that.

Roman hadn’t wanted to show face in the first place. Maybe if he had skipped out on the video completely like Virgil had, or heck even somehow limited his participation like Logan had it would’ve been fine, but no, he just had to be there and Patton just had to keep forcing his standards and opinions on him and Thomas. And that was all without being asked for his own opinion.

When Patton had pushed him to answer and he’d eventually given in and tried to explain what he thought his ideas were immediately pushed away, dismissed as not good enough for the moral side because they weren’t exactly what he wanted to hear.

When Deceit replaced Logan, Roman noticed almost immediately. It was just like Deceit to go on a tangent, just rambling any semi related facts that he knew about… hypoxia? Of all things? And besides, Patton skipping Logan (which Roman thought was incredibly rude of him, even if he’d made the same joke earlier) had been the perfect opportunity for Deceit to take his place.

But Patton and Thomas hadn’t noticed, so Roman had just smiled a little and not said anything about it. Maybe he could give Deceit some pointers if he survived this.

Briefly, Roman wondered if this might all just be his fault. What if it was his fault for pretending to be perfect when he obviously was anything but. He wondered if they saw through him, because this was his fault. Not even Thomas could deny that. Patton and Deceit arguing now was his fault, if only he could’ve priorititsed Thomas over himself. If only he had been able to sacrifice his pride. If only Patton could love the real him and not the perfect armour he had built for himself, now so scared to remove. Because they would hate him.

And then that whole fight sequence had made him feel even worse, because Roman couldn’t bring himself to side with Deceit like he wanted to, so badly and he was certain Deceit could tell if the way he continued to glance his way was anything to go by. He wasn’t brave enough to lose Patton’s approval, he wasn’t.

Patton had been distraught afterwards, once he’d shrunk down from that giant frog form, Deceit had started lecturing him again, Logan came back, all whilst Roman was watching in a blur. He didn’t say much, in another world maybe he would have protested, tried to fight back against Deceit for Patton’s sake. All Roman wanted now was to be anywhere else but here.

And then he’d opened his stupid mouth, asked Deceit what the hell they were supposed to do if they were to be selfish when selfishness had already cost him so much. Deceit had sighed.

“Going to the callback was one of the most selfless acts that I believe to be possible- Thomas lost a huge opportunity, not to mention a big hit to his mental health-” Roman tried to hide his flinch at Deceit’s words, “All he got out of it was a new high score in Word Crush.”

“I… know that.” Roman answered, trying to keep his tone even, “But- well- you know how that went for me better than anyone.”

“What d’you mean, Roman?” Patton asked, Roman panicked, glancing at Deceit who sighed and picked up where he’d left off, ignoring Patton and describing the wedding as a ‘net loss’, he talked with Thomas about they had to unlearn their biases about selfishness, all while Roman slipped back into the background, he couldn’t bring attention to himself, not right now. He could feel everything in him, welling up, and he knew that he’d either lash out or burst into tears the moment something happened now. He couldn’t help but wonder which would be worse.

In another world maybe he would have lashed out already, argued with Deceit, questioned when it would be enough. But… Roman had learned, from the time after the courtroom, that Deceit wasn’t evil, he knew things that the others didn’t, that Deceit really wasn’t trying to drive them to ruin, that he really was trying to help . He knew that he really did care, even if he didn’t exactly show it in the most effective way. Deceit wasn’t the one who deserved to feel the brunt of his anger.

Instead Patton asked, much calmer that Roman might have had he been inclined. Patton asked when it would be enough, when they could start helping others and putting more good into the world.

“But how can we trust you?” Patton cried, looking close to tears after Deceit had given his answer, Roman grimaced, surely he could see by now that Deceit was helping, surely he could see by now that Deceit wasn’t evil and wrong.

“I don’t have a simple answer to that,” Deceit said with a sigh, Roman stared at him as he went to remove a glove, “But here’s a start…”

Roman watched as he pulled a glove off by a finger, even in all the time they’d spent together in the last few weeks Deceit had never once done that.

“My name… “ Deceit sighed, “My name is Janus.”

“Janus?” Patton asked, looking nervous. De- Janus looked over at him and Roman realised that he needed to say something anything-

“Janis? Like from Mean Girls?” Roman settled on, he wasn’t quite sure why, but it made the corner of Janus’ mouth twitch upwords slightly, so maybe it wasn’t terrible.

Deceit stared at him for a second, “ No . Janus. With a ‘U’?”

“Oh! That makes much more sense, the two-faced god of doorways, it fits you,” Roman nodded approvingly, Deceit offered him the smallest of smiles and opened his mouth to respond before Patton cut him off before he’d started.

“Now Roman, there’s no need to be rude about it,” Patton said, his chastising tone grating on Roman’s mind to the point where it may as well be nails on a chalkboard, there was that anger again, bubbling and boiling up from where he’d tried to bury it under shed tears and fake, perfect smiles, “Let’s be nice, alright kiddo?”

“I wasn’t.” Roman said, trying to take a deep breath, keep it cool, they can get through this, “Being rude, that is.”

“Then maybe you should watch your tone a little,” Patton said in that same soft tone that made Roman feel like prey trapped by predator, trapped, doomed to fail no matter what he said or did, Patton would always win, “ Janus chose to be vulnerable with us and we should respect that.”

“I know !” Roman cried, and maybe it was an overreaction to such a little thing, maybe he should just apologise for something he hadn’t done and get Patton off of his back, but it also could have been possible that this instance wasn’t the only thing he was referencing, “I know! Ok, I get it, you don’t have to- to keep telling me! I get it!”

“Roman, kiddo-”

“I am not -” Roman said, before taking a breath, it didn’t do much to quell the fire in his chest, “I was there! Patton! All of this, surprise surprise, I just watched it happen just like you did! I wasn’t insulting him.”

“Well then maybe you should apologise, because it certainly seemed that way to me,” Patton said, that smile still plastered on his face. Roman didn’t have a choice, he had to do what Patton said- if he didn’t then- well then maybe he would find that line Virgil had set down all that time ago. Roman thought he didn’t have a choice, but when he glanced back at Deceit, who was watching him with his face etched with worry, Roman thought that maybe he did. He would just have to trust that Deceit would catch him when he inevitable fell.

“No.” Roman said, clenching his fists, though his hands were shaking.

“No?” Patton asked, seeming just as surprised, Thomas looked between them, eyes wide, “What do you mean? Surely-”

“I mean no ,” Roman said, glaring now, all of the anger and sadness he had pushed down and down was bubbling up again, “I will not apologise for something that I did not do, I’m done, ok? You hear me? I’m done fearing the choices I want to make, I’m done weighing your approval against what’s right ! I’m done choosing one over the other.”

Roman was breathing heavily now, hands shaking, Patton frowned at him.

“What do you mean? We’ve made the right choices, you chose in the courtroom-”

“I didn’t choose shit! ” Roman yelled, and he felt like something had snapped in his armour, and from it emerged the dark, ugly thing he had built it to contain, “There was nothing to choose! If I had made the right choice you would have hated me for siding with Janus, you would have- I- I would have lost everything ! But- but I don’t care , anymore, because- because I can’t take it, being perfect for you, making choices for you only to be pushed down even more because that choice ended up being the wrong one over, and over again! It’s so hard , and I’m done. I won’t do it anymore! I’m done doing what you think is right. I’m done trying to be the Perfect Prince you want me to be, I can’t do it anymore..”

“Roman-” Thomas started, but Roman turned on him, anger fading immediately when He saw Thomas’ expression, all that was left was this pulling sense of sadness that seemed to drag at him when he moved. He’d just lashed out, shown them all that he wasn’t the perfect persona he tried to put on. There was no way he could redeem this now.

And part of him didn’t want to, because it had felt… good. To finally let it all out. He didn’t want to go back to the porcelain white armour casing he’d been living in for who knows how long.

“I’m supposed to be your hero Thomas, but I’m not,” Roman said, feeling defeated and out of breath, there were tears already spilling over his cheeks, but he ignored them, “I’m not a perfect Disney Prince, I’m not brave, I’m not selfless and I’m certainly not kind, I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you all wanted me to be.”

And then he sank out, not waiting for a response before leaving them all standing in Thomas’ living room, stunned to silence.

| Next part -> |

#sanders sides #roman sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #darkside!roman #ts roman #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #creativitwins #ts roceit #but its platonic for now

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