#its interesting because if they hadn't met in the way they did idk if they would have ever been friends | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mindrole · 7 months

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some disorganized thoughts under the cut because formatting is a mess and for once i feel shame about leaving a mess laying around the dashboard (polite bow)

as you would guess, it is CoM discussion as always. it's quite long, and its partly about the literary parallels from the picture of dorian gray! (but towards the end theres a lot of speculation from my brain and not based on much also, its a mixed bag)

i appreciate any feedback!!!

thinking about it now. i think the obvious combo most people are thinking of right off the bat is

dorian = miwa lord henry = rui basil = shiharu

to some extent, sybil = dita and james = eigha

(though i am almost certain there is no "eigha" in rosemaria, its just shiharu in his full consciousness hamming it up because he's been put in the eigha role by, presumably, some kind if internal rule in rosemaria, some one that seems to block miwa from being mentioned without distorting. it's different from miwa, who seems to be confused and/or dissassociated... its hard to write this post and gloss over details but i will write my thoughts properly eventually. a lot of this hinges on findings in miwa's apartment... idk, either way, this shit is fucking weird)

probably that second part is from me, but. idk. i forgor. and this is probably true and the most direct role assignment there is

but im also thinking... what if it was a mess? since c0e had several possible assignments that could be true at any time, therefore i also feel like this can be true at the same time as the first:

dorian = shiharu lord henry = azuma basil = miwa

hear me out. its not too out there because there's actual evidence to it in the interlude but, you know

we know miwa is obsessed with shiharu. we don't know the nature of this obsession (lol) (lmao), but he keeps hydrangeas in his dressing room apparently (lol). my own guess is that its admiration mixed in with "the fragments are not normal about the haradas (and the utsugis) ever". to have such an obsession form with such little contact over such a short period of time— first report where miwa and taka discuss the eigha recast is dated to february 2018, filming had not begun yet, and presumably miwa hadn't properly met him as a result— is quite bonkers to me. but all fragments are frankly quite mentally ill, who cares, he's in show business too playing a 3D anime boy his brain is absolutely beyond fried at this point.

the interesting thing is that there is evidence that shiharu is obsessed with him too, but in a very different way. is it different...? i don't know, we don't know what miwa thinks exactly so i'm going off of my own mental image. which is miwa admires him for whatever reason, maybe he's exceeded his expectations and can hold his own as an actor for example, who knows. but it is different.

now i said earlier that i was almost certain "there is no eigha in rosemaria". i think it's because if you look at the eigha quotes in the com page, i think they are incredibly strange. eyeballing them they ARE quite chuunibyou. they're very intimidating demon lord-ish. now im not gonna translate stuff because honestly im incredibly wary of misrepresenting the work so i won't attempt to transcribe anything, though given i'll talk about it from my interpretation it's probably fine even without. anyway, when you think about it, this especially is strange:

hey, "eigha", why are you talking about miwa?!! that's clearly miwa isnt it (though i did not notice this until it was pointed out to me...tehepero)!!! eigha should be concerned about dita!! isn't this common sense?! at first, i assumed it was eigha being sentient, reaching past the curtain or fourth wall to possess either actor who portrayed him in an effort to stop ditasword from ending, trapping miwa so he can be dita forever... but it recently dawned on me that the culprit behind miwa teita's attack in july 2018 cannot be anyone but harada shiharu!!!

that's right!!

the reasoning is (not) simple!! it is (not) straightforward, really!!

i was thinking that taka, the original person who played eigha, was probably the culprit... after all miwa had to rush the production on which caused him to be recast right at his final performance. pretty kuyashii. i assumed he snapped, or someone manipulated him, or what i originally assumed about eigha, a fictional character, becoming sentient. no such thing. when you think about it... there is no clearer red herring than this. i am almost certain that he'd be the first immediate suspect in com, as he is the only one who is immediately identifiable as someone with a motive, until you check miwa's phone records and see that he attempted to call someone at the time of his disappearance. it will be him!! i can bet money on this (don't actually come after me for this plz)

that is why i say there's no eigha in rosemaria, just someone playing the part.

here are some pointers about this "eigha"

it seems like at first, he is welcoming of the party, ushering them to the world, as if they were lost lambs... ones rejected by the real world.

eventually probably when it seems like they do not want to stay, and will take miwa back with them, its full mask off (hehe), suddenly its im gonna eliminate you guys to protect this world!!! and such, so he repeatedly attacks them.

but the main issue isn't that they rejected rosemaria. it's that when rui entered, he started to influence "dita" and attempt to extract him. he is his client after all even if he's confused. it means that someone is trying to make miwa leave rosemaria. at this point, there is no bargaining anymore. anyone who attempts to do this is getting BTFO'd.

so really, this eigha's goal is to protect miwa, not dita.

to wrap it back around the literary reference. the subtitle of cell of mirage is the picture of eigha iliner.

here comes the smoking gun. as you may recall miwa had posters of both the tv series and of the latest movie. of course it's different eighas. but the movie poster was strange. the movie poster that had harada shiharu's eigha was strange. ryuu made an observation i took a little too literally for a long time (because im a cute little dummy), until the other day:

according to ryuu's observation, this eigha looks older than the first one.

at any rate, there's no reason to doubt his point of view here. everything in the interlude is a clue put there for a purpose. so my assumption at first was, huh. is he older? is he just very ikemen or something? and was a little perplexed by it. but... this poster... which is in miwa's possession... in his bathroom... the eigha in it is aging!!! the harada shiharu in this poster is aging!!!! that's right!! they wouldn't hire someone that visibly looks older in a movie to replace someone when the movie has continuity with a tv show— and they would probably retouch the poster to hide imperfections (so signs of aging). it is... absolutely aging...

now if we recall back to the picture of dorian gray... dorian's portrait aged in his stead, absorbing all the sins he committed, as a result not only aging but also becoming more and more ugly. he would eventually go on to kill basil— who practically begged him to repent— over it in a fit of anger.

i do not need to tell you that wrath and violence is bad. so i believe that shiharu is the one that attacked miwa that night. but miwa is a fragment, he may have "died" then, but the injury was probably a trifle and he regenerated and maybe retaliated, and somehow the mirage phenomena was triggered as a result whether on purpose or not and both were transported. this is just in laconic really, there's definitely more to discuss about this but for this post this is the info i need. next post i will talk about this properly.

so they are both each other's dorians and basils in different ways. it is assured mutual destruction. also don't forget that ditasword ends with dita sacrificing himself to either kill or seal away eigha (iirc it doesn't say what exactly, but both of them are BTFO absolutely)

now this is going from speculation based on proof to fully filling in blanks that are undefined (so adjacent to fanfic really since there is little evidence) but, he may have confided in shiharu about being a fragment and possibly whatever bad things that came with it, and was wholeheartedly accepted by shiharu=miwa grew attached to him, and eventually when it felt appropriate to do so he told him that he will retire and go away forever. why tell him about his condition and not anyone else closer to him? idk, fragment interacting with a harada moment, lol.

so in this moment, if shiharu had become fiercely overprotective of him as a result to the point where he would attack him and whether on purpose or not get them both sent to rosemaria, if he would go to such an extreme... what would influence him?!! if he is the dorian in this interpretation, then he may have attempted to get answers from azuma, who is absolutely involved in like 20 things at once. like why is miwa retiring? where is he going? if he pointed him in a certain direction, like, "i know a way you can stop it[stop miwa from going away/keep protecting him]." or something like that. that is absolutely making him lord henry... in a very literal sense as he is clearly an antagonistic force who is using miwa and whoever else as pawns. though lord henry introduces dorian to indulgence and depravity just for the fuck of it, because he is a hedonist... much to think about.

conversely! the more apparent reading that comes from just guessing! miwa doesn't age by default so it superficially plays into some of the traits that dorian has, and shiharu who may be trying to protect him from the real world that hurt him, that rejected him[his fragment status], is basil. because remember, dita having pink hair and red eyes is normal in rosemaria. which means miwa is normal too. the real world is not as kind as rosemaria! or something. so i think this was miwa's dream initially (he may have even expressed this to shiharu without thinking) before he came to possibly change his mind as in the encrypted email azuma's assurance that it isn't solely his responsibility implies that miwa feels guilt over the mirage incidents = he is absolutely involved in a great capacity. imo, on top of all that, he may have also wanted to stay because he finally had someone who cared about him genuinely. too late for that, if he tried to talk sense into shiharu it didn't work, he is now in rosemaria with no sense of "miwa teita". it is not dissimilar to how dorian attacked and killed basil, hid his possessions and got someone to "disappear" the body. rui, who is trying to pry into the delusion of rosemaria to bring everyone— including miwa especially— back to the real world, is lord henry.

and these two readings coexist. they are not mutually exclusive. they build off of the exact same sentiment.

P.S. there are absolutely other combis that work with some precursory thought— but i wish there was more information out there...

P.S. P.S. woe upon thee!!!!!!!!

#m #i feel tired and sleepy so if it becomes a little incoherent... soz #e

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keithbutgay · 1 day

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🍼🍓💗🦋🍃 for the ask game? /nf

i think its interesting that like half of these are about romantic relationships but. idk maybe thats just me :P

🍼- what's your favorite memory?

🍓- one secret about yourself

💗- who do you miss?

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? (or middle name i can't tell so i'll just answer both :PP)

(for what it's worth i also thought it was really interesting that a lot of them were about romantic relationships :PP)

okay i wrote like. a fuck ton. so i'll put it under the cut haha

favorite memory... um this one's hard. i have a really awful memory and like i'm sure i've had genuine good moments in my life but so many of the ones i can remember have had some underlying awfulness to them

sorry that's like. bad---

when i moved about five years ago, my sister and i built a sort of fort with the couch and mattresses. we hadn't wanted to move houses but this was like. the day of the move. and we were eating bagels, she had poppy and i had sesame. anyways we got seeds on the mattress but it was really nice. there's still seeds on our mattresses. hers has poppy.

i think another one of my favorite memories is working on the percy jackson musical. not because it wasn't like an absolutely awful time because. well. yeah. but because i got to meet y'all and there were definitely really good moments for me, especially with the graffiti and also like. vat7k :P

um moving on i guess---

a secret about myself. ummm this one's hard cause like. i do hide things a lot. but i wouldn't consider them secrets... especially cause you probably know about them lol

um... maybe that. i'm scared to call myself neurodivergent because i'm undiagnosed and i'm worried that i'm just making it all up and just like. have more severe anxiety and depression than i thought?

idk

is that a secret?

oh well

um next question (sorry this is so long---)

who do i miss? okay so i've answered this one on a different ask game and i really really don't want to repeat it um i could talk about another person i guess?

i had this friend who i knew for a year. they um. helped me a lot. but they were in a really bad mental state, and were constantly in the hospital. they didn't talk to me all that much either, because i would hang around their boyfriend, and they would rather talk to him than me. but anyways i really didn't know them that well, i did go to their house once and we met up a few times but they moved to another state three years ago and haven't talked to me since. anyways it's complicated but they're basically. um. dead. i used to write them little "letters" on a doc actually, but i haven't opened that doc in a while---

anyways

this got angsty very quickly moving on

aaaaa okay this is hard

like. my brain tells me everyone hates me. logically, i know that they don't.

okay maybe i should rephrase

i don't want to believe that people see me as anything better than like. trash. i know that people do but i don't want to believe that and my brain makes that part very easy for me by yelling that they're only here out of pity and they don't actually care about me? so idk

maybe

maybe i think that the people who don't know me perceive me as the weird guy in the corner who doesn't know what he's doing ever and is really annoying and like should never be interacted with

and the people who do know me perceive me as infinitely better than i actually am and i. wish they didn't because i'm going to disappoint them no matter what because i'm not who *they* perceive

okay anyways

i would rather live in the sea with mermaids. i fucking love mermaids. i've wanted to live in the ocean with mermaids for my entire life. sea creatures are my life actually i love them so much especially jellyfish i would let a jellyfish eat me in the most normal way possible. the waterfire saga, above world series, emily windsnap, and mermaid tales did this to me.

also my middle name is technically isabelle but i'm ignoring that in favor of ian like ian kabra from 39 clues because i'm very gay

but ian doesn't sound great with either of my names so i'll probably rethink that one--- :PP

#sorry this got really deep and angsty #y'all can ignore this one i'm just. yeah #thanks for the ask :)#long post

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dianaraven · 4 years

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jacob/benedict for fairy tale au!!! Kevin/Juniper for friends to lovers!!!! Hope and Grey having a lil smooch good morning maybe? Then Roshan dancing with someone of your choice in the rain!!! Di I love all your ocs they all seem delightful

Thank you vivi <3 <3 <3 sorry this is so late

edit: VIVSS I LOOOOVE YOUUU AND THIS TOOK SO LONG CUZ IT WAS ORIGINALLY PROCRASTINATION FOR FINISHING MY BOOK THEN I PROCRASTINATED FINISHING THIS TO FINISH MY BOOK (you know, as you do) SOOOOOOOOO ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS AND BEING PATIENT I LOVE YOUUUU

Benedict/Jacob Fairy Tale au (i decided to do a tangled au because it reminds me of the same chaotic energy that these boys have)

"This is all your fault!" Ben grumbled as he pulled himself up and out of the river. Jacob glared at him, wringing out his long hair.

Ben shook his head, spraying Jacob with water, and pulled off his shirt in one swift motion.

"All my fault? You're the one who said we'd be safe!" Jacob snapped.

Ben ignored him. He dragged his hand across his pants to wipe the mud off and winced. He must have cut it on one of the rocks in that cave. When the water had poured in... Ben had told Jacob who he really was and Jacob had-

Benedict raised his eyes to Jacob who was carding his fingers through his long chocolate hair. The magic hair. The hair that had glowed.

"If you hadn't demanded we come on this stupid trip-"

"You brought me to that tavern to scare me!" Jacob snapped. "Don't think I didn't realize that."

Yeah, well that hadn't worked, had it? Benedict thought grumpily. The sun was going down, they'd have to make camp. And tomorrow...

Tomorrow they'd reach Aeon, and the castle. And Benedict would be out of time to convince Jacob to give him back the lost prince's crown.

They found a nice spot to make camp, and Benedict went to find wood for a fire, cooling off as he stomped around the forest. This entire situation was insane. He might have been better off at the hands of his ex-partners. At least they would have killed him straight out instead of him drowning after sword-fighting a horse with his only weapon a frying pan. Absolutely insane.

Ow. Benedict hissed when his hand scraped across the bundle of sticks he’d collected. Benedict squinted at it in the moonlight but couldn’t see well enough. Once they’d made the fire he would check it again, maybe wash it out. The last thing he needed was to catch a rot. Or maybe, Jacob’s hair will glow again and you can see that way. Benedict shuddered as he thought it. He put it as far out of his mind as he could.

When Benedict returned, Jacob’s hair was spread out across the dark grass and dirt. Good thing your hair’s brown, he thought but didn’t say. He wasn’t in the mood to fight with Jacob again.

Benedict started the fire, wincing from the stinging pain in his hand.

“What’s wrong?” Jacob asked curtly. Clearly he was still mad. He had one leg slung over the other, and his arms were crossed over his chest.

“Nothing,” Benedict mumbled. He frowned, and put his hand to the low fire, squinting at it.

“Clearly its something. What?”

Benedict tried to shrug him off, but Jacob was nothing if not persistant. “Let me see-” Jacob crawled over.

“You’ve done enough-”

“Oh shut up already.”

Jacob pulled the hand into his lap. “Oh!” He said, surprised. “You’re hurt.”

“I’ve had worse,” Ben said.

Jacob rolled his eyes. He reached for a lock of his hair before freezing. He gave Benedict a sheepish look.

“Promise not to freak out.”

Benedict was frozen in fear. Those words never preceded something good. "What?”

“Promise me.”

“Why do I need to promise?”

“Please?”

“Fine, I-uh, I promise I won’t freak out.”

Jacob gave him a frown that said he didn’t believe him, which was fair because Benedict was a) a liar, and b) pretty sure whatever new magic trick that Jacob pulled out of his ass (or magic hair) was going to freak the fuck out of Ben, and Ben would, in fact, freak out despite any promise to the contrary.

“My hair doesn’t just glow.”

Benedict’s belly went cold. Jacob’s fingers were soft and warm. He was sure his hands weren’t nearly as nice to touch--too rough, the skin cracked and calloused. But Jacob didn’t act as if he minded.

Jacob took a lock of his long hair, and wrapped it ominously around Benedict’s hand.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Just trust me.”

Benedict closed his mouth, as much as he wanted to scream and run as far away as he possibly could.

Jacob closed his eyes. He had thick but short lashes. They barely brushed his cheeks, but lined his eyes nicely, Benedict supposed.

Then Jacob started to sing.

Benedict watched. Every impulse in his body told him to run. Told him to get away from the rushing glow that trickled first from the part of his hair and then followed the hair all the way down. Circling around Benedict’s hand, swirling down the long winding tresses that splayed across the ground.

Jacob stopped singing, and slowly he unwrapped Benedict’s hand.

Benedict looked down, and opened his mouth to scream.

“YOU PROMISED!” Jacob shouted, covering Benedict’s mouth with his hands.

Benedict’s hand was completely and utterly healed. As good as new. As if it had never been cut in the first place. Benedict hadn’t felt anything! The entire thing happened unbeknownst to him, but now he didn’t feel any pain either.

It wasn’t actually that scary, Benedict told himself. No, just a little weird. Startling. But not scary. Not scary at all.

“I’m not going to scream,” Benedict said eventually, muffled by Jacob’s hand. He was surprised to realize that he believed himself.

Jacob removed his hand, and winced. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not going to scream.”

“Oh, good.”

“Does your-does your hair do anything else? Just, you know, as a fair warning.”

Inside, Benedict’s heart shrieked. GREAT FRICKING GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK HOLY-

“Not that I know of,” Jacob said, giving Benedict a small smile. Oblivious to the chaos in Benedict’s mind. “Just the glowing and the healing.”

“Oh.” Benedict heard himself say. His voice sounded much farther away than it should have been. “Okay. I think I need to sit down.”

“You are sitting down.”

“Oh. Good.”

Jacob gave him a nervous glance. “Are-are you sure that you’re okay?”

“All good. Yeah.” Benedict’s mind calmed a little when he looked back at Jacob. Watched Jacob anxiously fiddle with a lock of hair. “Yeah.”

Kevin/Jun friends to lovers

Jun groans and eases the shoes off of her feet. She’s been dancing for so long she thinks they might fall off. The sigh that falls from her lips might border on pleasured, which she is with the way she feels now that her toes are free. She sighs again and wiggles them, cracking them and rolling her ankles.

“Thought I might find you here,” Kevin says. Jun leans back on her wrists and looks up to him.

His dress is a sparkling blue, and it swishes wonderfully when he walks. He sits down beside Jun and takes her feet into his lap, rubbing them. Jun lets out a little yelp and would complain if it didn’t feel so good.

“Alec would not let me sit down!” Jun explains.

Kevin chuckles. “I’m aware. I tried to peel you away to dance three times. Every time, she managed to distract me.”

“You were dancing too,” Jun accuses.

Kevin gives her a little grin. Charming and bashful at once. It made something in Jun’s chest flip-flop. But... she shouldn’t be thinking about that. Kevin was her friend. Just her friend. That was all.

“Like I said, I was distracted.”

Jun lets out a moan as his fingers work out the kinks in the arch of her foot and is immediately embarrassed because woah that’s not a sound you make near one of your friends. It was throaty and raspy and Kevin just smiles pleased with himself. Jun is too annoyed at his smugness to be embarrassed. She does flush though.

“Is every year like this?” she asks, to change the subject.

“The ball? Yeah, pretty much. Last year Alec and Gray were almost kidnapped, so... that was different.”

Not... what Jun was expecting. “Huh.”

“Yep. I like this better though.”

“The not-having-a-kidnapping? Yeah, I’d like that too.”

Kevin snorted. He put Jun’s right foot down and picked up her left foot.

“Sure. That and you.” For the first time since she’s known him, he actually looks a little flustered. “You know.”

Jun’s heart leaps. “Oh. Well, I suppose a new person to your... group is-”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh.” So he... he felt it too?

Kevin’s hands stop. He glances up at her through his lashes, his orange eyes glittering in the pretty lamplight set up for the outdoor areas of the Hall.

“Is that... I mean-” Kevin asks, quietly.

“No! I mean... no. I-I, um...” Jun doesn’t know really what to say. She presses her legs over Kevin’s where he propped them up to rub them. They’re leaning closer now. Kevin’s maybe a few inches away from her. Too far for them to be comfortable.

Kevin raises his hands (they’re shaking, Jun notices, and it gives her a thrill) hovering above the bodice of her dress. As if he wants to pull her closer.

“I... uh, I mean, I was just touching your feet... I don’t want to-”

Jun almost laughs because, well, “they’re my feet, I think I’ll live.”

Kevin does laugh. He smiles at her, that cheeky, smug one that gives him dimples. Jun’s heart flutters again. He holds her gently, pulling her closer, arms around her waist.

“Good,” he murmurs, and then he kisses her.

So... maybe he wasn’t just a friend after all.

Hope/Gray morning kisses

“Good morning~” Hope hums in Gray’s ear. Gray groans in his sleep and turns over beneath her arm, burying his face further into the pillow.

“Hnnnn.”

Hope moves around Gray to slide out of bed and he grabs her arm, pulling her back in.

“Gray....”

Gray shifts so she’s pinned under him and he rests his head in the crook of her neck, pressing a light kiss there.

Hope runs her fingers through his hair and snorts. “Gray, darling, I do have to get up at some point today.”

“Hnnnnnn,” Gray groans again, pulling her closer. “No....”

“In fact, you have to get up too. Possibly in an unpleasant way if Alec gets the chance.”

Gray grumbles again. His breath tickles the short stubble the dots the bottom of her chin. He nestles himself further against her. He kisses her neck again.

“You’re not going to distract me.”

Gray harrumphs into her neck.

“Yes, I know. But think of it this way, if you get up now Alec won’t come barging in to dump a bucket of water on you. You do know how much she loves to.”

Gray groans and leans back on his elbows. He blinks his eyes open groggily and rubs the sleep from his lashes. He has morning stubble too, and his hair hasn’t been set so its curls stick up.

“Do we have to?”

“Yes, unfortunately. Princely duties can’t wait.”

Gray pouts so Hope raises herself up and kisses him. If her breath tastes bad, Gray doesn't give any hint. Hope slowly draws herself back to her feet, and Gray follows her. When Hope finally breaks away, Gray pouts again and falls to the sheets with a fwump!

Hope sighs. “If you get up, I’ll kiss you more,” she teases.

But it works, just like it works every time. Gray bounces up, feet firmly on the floor and wraps Hope in his long arms. He dips her slightly, and Hope’s heart hammers way too loudly in her chest considering that since they’ve been together it’s been a common occurrence.

When he finally gives her a reprieve he smiles cheekily.

“Promise?” he asks.

Hope ignores the flush she knows it probably darkening her cheeks and blows a puff of air into his face. “You’re a menace. I don’t know how you ever get things done.”

Gray grins and Hope’s heart melts a little. “Why, with kisses as a reward, of course.”

“Menace,” Hope repeats, but she gives him one more reward anyway.

Roshan & Alec dancing in the rain

The rain sizzles on Roshan’s skin when it hits, but she doesn’t mind. In fact, she revels in it. In the the music still in her veins from the tavern and in the booze that’s warming her blood nicely. Her head is a little tingly and though it was hot earlier, it’s cool now with the rain. The door of the bar is still open, and she can see the orange haze of the warm hearth inside. The musicians inside can still be heard from where she stands. The rain soothes the fire from the evening.

It’s not dark out, not yet. Just barely evening, but the storm-clouds make the sky a light purple.

Roshan spins. Her hair whips around her in it’s braid, slapping against her head and smelling deliciously of rain.

It’s been so long since she’s been like this. Since she’s felt safe enough to do this. In fact, she can’t remember the last time she just stood in the rain. Nor the last time she just felt free.

Well, she knows the answer to that one. She’s never felt free before. Not like this.

She doesn’t realize that someone has been watching her--so overjoyed by no longer having to hide. Maybe she should be holding onto those prey instincts. Maybe she hasn’t lost them, maybe it’s just the smell of the dirt, the cool of the rain, and the fire in her veins.

Roshan puts her hands on her hips. Alec stands under the lip of the roof, just barely out of the rain. Roshan almost laughs, she’s never seen it before but because of the dark of the sky and the shadow the roof offers, she can see it now. Alec’s eyes (the color of ice chips, of frostbitten lips, of the poison a queen gives her husband) really do glow. If ever so slightly.

When Roshan’s dark eyes meet Alec’s light ones, Alec smiles. An ever so slight quirk of her lips.

“What?” Roshan demands.

“I’ve never seen you so happy before,” she says, voice raised over the roar of the downpour.

“I’ve never been happy before,” Roshan replies, a little more harshly than Alec deserves. But Roshan knows Alec, and knows that she can take it. She can take anything Roshan throws at her, as she’s proven again and again and again.

Alec pushes herself off of the wall and walks into the oncoming rain, not even flinching.

It’s something Roshan admires about her, not that she’d ever tell Alec. No. Maybe others might--Hope or Gray--but Roshan and Alec know one another. They don’t need such silliness between them.

“You know,” Alec says, lowering her voice as she comes closer. Her short black hair sticks to her pale face. Thunder rumbles overhead. Lightning flashes. “I don’t remember you dancing much at the ball.”

“I didn’t dance at all,” Roshan says. She’s not ashamed or embarrassed. Back then she couldn’t even let anyone touch her, much less dance.

Well, anyone except Alec. Alec always seemed to think that the rules didn’t apply to her.

Alec holds out a hand, giving a mocking bow to go with it. “Then, may I?”

Roshan rolls her eyes, but she takes the hand. Despite her eyes and demeanor, Alec is warm to the touch. Alec pulls her in close as the faint music of the tavern switches to a soulful ballad and rests her other hand on the small of Roshan’s back. And together, they dance in the rain.

#diana replies #diana writes the makings of magic #diana's ocs #oc asks #myanchorandyourcompass #i love alec and roshan so much #its interesting because if they hadn't met in the way they did idk if they would have ever been friends #idk if they even would have liked one another #their relationship is so based on the trauma and other experiences they shared that they're completely different people without them #and their relationship is totally different #which is funny because one of my fav scenes in the whole series is their sparring match #also writing this made me realize how cute and fluffy hope and gray are :3 #not canon and prob will never be but they're cute and i can dig it #btw this is like the first thing ive written since finishing the first draft of alexis like..... 10 days ago #diana: says diana wants attention #also diana: proceeds to ignore all the attention she gets because hnnnnnnnnnnnnn

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marvel-m-lee · 3 years

Note

Heyyy i was wondering when you were going to be putting chapter 2 up

Check-Ups.

Warning, this is a tickle series fic. It also includes swearing. You have been warned.

This series was inspired by @fluffy-lee

Words-2797

Other Tags- @midnightfrost1 @jazzthepizzaz (idk why this isn't working)

Im sorry I didn't get this out sooner. I've had a shit few months and n haven't written in ages, I just lost my writing skills and motivation. But im back. I didn't want to come back until I finished something, and finally, i have. Its midnight and my boyfriend dumped me, whats a better time right-

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You loved the day you met Bruce, Tony, Steve, all of them. That was about three, four months ago though. You and Bruce had finished that single puzzle and learned you were actually rather good at them too, so it became a daily thing for the two of you, along with watching the sunrise or chores or even just staying in the lab together.

You and Bruce had a connection. You adored him, he being the first person you met when you woke up.

You still didn't remember your life, all a long nap until the day. But you didn't mind, something in the back of your head told you you didn't want to know. You'd have nightmares, about a dark place, being trapped and being experimented on, but you'd wake up right before they would inject you, or right before the machine turned on.

Even though you'd met a lot of people, there still seemed to be many more who you still hadn't yet met. Apparently, there were gods, aliens, some Guardians, wizards. At least Tony called them Wizards, Steve would correct him but he'd only roll his eyes and repeat himself.

You loved all of those you'd met so far though. Steve was kind, according to Tony and Bruce, Steve was the one who found you and demanded you be brought back to the compound.

Tony was funny, in a weird, sarcastic way. He'd always give you nicknames and tell you about his inventions when you asked, he loved how invested you were in his work. You found everything so fascinating. And you also met his Fiancé Pepper, who ran Tony's business and was also a wonderful and smart woman. She told funny jokes and made an incredible hot chocolate <3

You'd met a nice lady called Natasha, though she lets you call her Nat. She loves you too, at first she felt strange, but soon loved you so, it didn't take long either, everyone loved you. Clint, you met soon after, he showed you his bow and arrow, and he loved climbing the vents so he promised to show you around someday. Normally though you'd see Tony or Bucky kick a vent and Clint yell from within.

Speaking of, Bucky and Sam. Sam was always so kind, so gentle. But once two of you became close enough, he became like a playful uncle or brother, he loved you but also loved teasing you in a kind way. You weren't close enough for it to be cruel. And Bucky, Bucky was perhaps the one you were most distant with. At first, he scared you, but you also scared him. He was frightened he's hurt you, he'd scare you. But the two of you became closer over time. He'd tell you stories from his time and more. He was also a secret nerd- no joke.

Wanda and Vision were the sweetest, the two treated you with love and care, Wanda loved talking to you while she cooked, telling stories about her parents or brother, or even showing off her powers to you. Vision, he loved how you questioned so much, he loved how your brain would try to figure out how he flew through walls, and then He'd explain it to you, answering every question and smiling the whole time.

Rhodey was awesome too, he loved telling you his stories as war machine, the others didn't care much because they all did it every day, you, however, loved all of their stories, all of their interests and jokes.

There was someone called Eddie, he was really sweet but also sarcastic and funny so you loved him, it was rather scary though the first time you met his parasite, as he called him, Venom. Venom also seemed sweet, after the whole eating thing-

You hadn't met Thor yet, nor his brother Loki, you had seen the photos and videos of New York in 2012 but neither of them frightened you much, Loki seemed mischievous, and you were told Thor was just incredible.

There was one person though who scared you a bit. He was a little looney but you also loved his jokes and found him hilarious. You had a room in the compound now and the two of you were rather close now so he would just climb through the window- or smash it. Or smash the door down. Or wall. Yeah-

"Where's starry?" He asked, sitting at the table eating some breakfast hoops.

"Wade- wade can you please not eat with your mouth open," Sam asked, rolling his eyes and looking away.

"Sure thing Birdy, Hey, I could open it for you if you like?"

"For fucks sake Wade-" same got up and rubbed his temple, but spotting you asking down the hall.

"There you are! Where have you been, its late for you" He asked, looking at you as you entered in a nighty or more like one of Steve's old shirts that were too big for you.

"Tired-" you yawned, stretching our and walking over to the counter to get some breakfast.

"Y/n! Missed you! Where have you been kid? Dozed off" Wade exclaimed, arms wide and excited, also mocking you for sleeping in.

You rolled your eyes.

"I needed to sleep Wade, it was like 2 am-" you said, stretching and grabbing some captain crunch cereal.

"Oh god Wade, let the girl rest," Sam said, chuckling slightly and helping you get the cereal.

"Thank you"

"Yeah yeah, you try while carrying her inside, I'm incredibly lazy" Wade then saved another spoonful in his gob.

"Too true" you answered, muttering under your breath.

"I read that!"

You gave him a look- but didn't bother asking. It was Wade.

"Well Bruce will be looking for you I believe, he's in the lab. You've gotta have your check-up"

"Nah"

Sam gave you a look as you poured your milk, he wasn't sure whether to laugh or not.

" 'Nah' ?"

"I'm gonna go to sleep, I don't like the check-ups" you explained, getting a spoon and sitting down.

"It's okay y/n, it's only a check-up" Sam tried to comfort you, it didn't make you wanna go. But still.

"Well my last check-up did this to me so-" Wade shrugged, pointing at his face.

"Wade- "

"But yeah, the birds right-" Wade patted you on the back while Sam swore at him, "-Don't be afraid, Bruce would never hurt you"

You knew that, and you finished your breakfast knowing so. You hated the checkups because you felt so embarrassed if anything was wrong. You couldn't explain many of the bruises on your body, or cuts, or how you had no memory. It just made you feel useless. The best part would be when Bruce got out a puzzle after for the two of you.

You ran to your room and then began to walk down the halls to find Bruce.

As you walked down the many, many halls, you bumped into Bucky, and apologies frequently because you had knocked his metal arm. You always had a small fear that if you hit it hard enough, it would fly off.

He put his other arm on your shoulder though and smiled. Bucky's smile always made you feel better, he honestly seemed happy, it brought you a strange sense of comfort.

"It's okay y/n"

"Are you sure? I didn't hurt you?

"Yes, I'm sure, are you sure you're not hurt?"

You shook your head, you had been daydreaming so if you had been hurt, you hadn't realized it.

"Where are you going?" Bucky asked, wondering where you were daydreaming off to. You explained that Bruce was needing to do another check-up on you, everyone knew you had one once a month, and you always dreaded it. Bucky then offered if it would help if he joined you.

"Sure, come on!" You said, excitedly grabbing his hand. Bucky did scare you sometimes, sure, but, just as the little puppy you are, you soon forget about your fears and drag him along with you, having much trust in him.

Bucky couldn't help but smile, he loved how you would drag him along to one of your things if he so asked. The two of you had a sweet relationship, strange, but sweet.

The two of you walked the corridors, you repeatedly asked whether his arm was okay and apologized even though he hadn't been harmed, nor could he. It was metal- but he still reassured you either way. You then started to rant about how much you hated the check-ups and that the best part was when Bruce got out the puzzles.

"Sounds fun" Bucky replied, enjoying the emotion and joy in your voice.

The two of you then made it to the lab and saw Bruce working on some experiments. You knocked on the windows as you entered, "Knock, Knock, incoming" Bucky announced, as you let go of his hand and ran over to Bruce, embracing him in a big hug.

"Woah! Woah, hey Y/n, Bucky" Bruce answered, rather surprised to hear Bucky with you but also happy nonetheless. Bruce swiveled round in his chair and smiled at the two of you, "Excited for your check-up" Somehow you had forgotten, don't ask me how or why, it just left your brain for a moment.

You shook your head like a child and ran to hide behind Bucky. "Sorry, y/n's not actually here right now. Bucky will though" The two men laughed at your antics, but Bucky lifted you up and placed you on his shoulders, which you happily accepted until Bruce got up and Bucky began to follow him.

You leaned down beside Bucky's ear and began to whisper talk to him.

"Bucky! If you turn around I'll do anything, this could be a very bad idea!" He began to whisper back, trying to act serious.

"Yeah? What do you think will happen?"

"There might be a monster and I might get eaten!" You whispered, frightened and covering his eyes.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh as you all entered the medic room, he picked you up and placed you on the bed. "Steve was right, you do have an active imagination"

You pouted and realized there was no more point in fighting, they had won. Damn it.

Everything was rather normal, temperature, feelings, thoughts, sight, hearing, searching for any more bruising, though it died down now. Bruce checked your throat, ears, eyes, heart, and even let you use the special thingy to hear Bruce's and Bucky's hearts, pretending to be a doctor for a moment. The only new thing was this weird exercise called palpitations-

"What's that?..." You asked, eery of what Bruce would do. He asked you to lay down on the bed as he explained it all, Bucky leaned on the doorway as moral support, cheering you on.

"I just need to check to see if all your organs are in the right places, Tony asked me to do so, just in case that could be a cause of bruising. You laid down, slightly uncomfortable but you kept remembering what Sam and Wade said, Bruce would never hurt you.

And that was true because he did the quite opposite actually. His hands made contact with a particular place of your midsection that made you jump slightly.

"You okay y/n?"

You nodded, silent as he continued. He pushed down around your ribs, which wasn't as bad. But the moment he would push down on your sides or stomach, you would jump and hold your breath.

Each time Bruce would stop, worried he had hurt you. Bucky too was worried something was wrong.

"Are you sure you're okay y/n? If anything is hurting, you need to tell me" Bruce explained, you didn't say a word, only nodding your head in agreement. Once more, he pressed down, but you jumped at the slightest touch, making him stop again with a concerned expression. At this point, even Bucky was worried something was wrong and came to the foot of the bed to watch over you. Your face was red, and you held your breath for a moment, not making eye contact with anyone.

"Y/n, you need to tell Bruce if anything is wrong alright?" Bucky asked, his voice sweet yet stern. Once more the two were answered with a nod, but this time Bruce decided he would not stop until you told him where it was hurting.

You desperately tried to stay still. But it was a nightmare as he pushed and poked at every spot on your torso to make sure you would talk. It quickly became a nightmare as you couldn't bring yourself to look at where he would poke next because you knew you'd curl up in a ball.

Bucky watched your facial expressions as you fought to hold back the laughter growing in your throat. He saw as your face became red and your body twitched, your head occasionally shaking for it all to stop. He recognized the face from years ago when Steve and he were much younger. He couldn't help but let up a confused smirk as he tested his theory and ran two fingers up your foot's sole. You yelped and jumped up again, finally stopping the somewhat sweet torture.

"Y/n-" Bruce was interrupted by a horrified look on your face, staring at a wide grinned Bucky with his arms crossed.

"Did I miss something?-" He asked, incredibly confused.

"Y/n, tell Bruce what was wrong" Bucky teased, keeping you locked in eye contact to witness his smirk whilst still motioning to a very confused and concerned Dr. Banner. You rapidly shook your head, shrinking into the wall at the head of the bed.

Banner stood on one side, and Barnes began walking over to the other, too quick for you to run away. He leaned over to you and smirked wide, a playful grin on your face making you blush with embarrassment and hide in your knees with a whine. You suddenly felt a finger poke your side and you yelped, staring at Bucky as though he'd just committed a very serious sin.

"I'm still very lost"

"Y/n here is ticklish"

Your face quickly became cherry red and you glared at him. Bruce seemed slightly surprised but also had a warm smile stating he found it cute. It was incredibly hard to keep a straight face though as Bucky wiggled two fingers at you, making you push his hand away.

"Bucky!"

"Y/n!"

You humphed and crossed your arms, trying to look so mad yet with your bright red and embarrassed face, looking cuter than ever. Bruce began explaining that most children, or teens, are ticklish, even many adults, Bucky, on the other hand, met your actions with two wriggling hands at each side.

You jumped unexpectedly, a squeal escaping your mouth as he wriggled his fingers ticklishly into each side. A wide smile took a rest on your face and your bubbly, uncontrolled laughter began to build up, soon echoing down the halls.

"No- no! Buckyyyy!!! I'm nahahat ticklish!" You begged, gripping his hands but not succeeding in removing them from your waist.

“You’re not ticklish? Then you won’t mind if I do this, right?” Bucky teased, vibrating his hands and fingertips on your sides, making you squeal and kick out your legs. Bruce too couldn't help himself when he gave your knee a little squeeze, earning a yelp in return. You shook your head and kicked out to stop it, you weren't sure why but a part of you enjoyed it, the laughter, the touch.

"You are adorable like this Y/n, who knew?" Bucky teased going back and forth, poking each side as he spoke. Bruce gave your knees a squeeze each, which was surprisingly succeeded in a wonderous reaction.

"Plehehehhahaseeeeeehehe Bruceee! Buhuhucky!" You couldn't help but giggle at each sensation and touch they laid upon your body.

Your laughter echoed through the halls, loud and cheerful. All three of you knew that this was defiantly not the last time you would be tickled senseless, oh how adorable you looked.

At that moment, the two slowed down and Wade popped his head through the door, "Wilson, did you know Y/n was ticklish?" Buck called, poking you to show him. You swatted his hand away though. Wade smirked and laughed at the three of you in a nice sorta way.

"You didn't know? Why else would they be reading this fanfiction?"

All three of you were confused, but you were still drowning in giggles until the two stopped. You panted and hugged your sides, eyes closed tight.

"You are extremely ticklish y/n" Bruce stated out loud. You only looked up for a moment with a 'stfu no shit sherlock but I still love you but also you'll regret this' face. Bucky only smirked at you and patted you on the head, you glared back at him, trying to look scary but failing incredibly well.

"Well, this was fun, but I've got to... go see Sam" Bucky explained, shrugging with a wide smirk and slowly backing away. It quickly ended in you chasing him down the halls as he called out to Sam. Let's just say Bucky Barnes is a LOT stronger and quicker than you.

#bucky x y/n #marvel #tickle community #mcu #masterlist #sfw tickles #writing #tickle fic #tickles #buckysam #deadpool #mcu tickle #marvel tickle fic #bruce banner #check up #breakup #no motivatio #act proud #lol k imma go shift bai

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9tzuyu · 3 years

Text

dissolve (rewrite)

natasha x reader

note: this was just a huge vent fic idk. these type of fics seem to be the only thing im okay at writing. mistakes are mine as always. but i did proofread, yay!

if you want to read the original (as awful as it is) you can read it here!

wanrings: this heavily revolves around eating disorders.

i’m not tagging anyone because the content isn’t really the lightest to read.

words are used everyday, everywhere – whether to describe something or someone. there’s thousands upon thousands of them.

so you were having a hard time figuring out why you were struggling so much to justify your feelings through the basis of words. it was unnerving, draining and very annoying. your emotions should be simple, right? you were either sad or happy, angry or scared. but there was something more, something unexplainable. saying you felt alone only scratched the surface of the wave of emotion that took over. it was excruciatingly painful, far worse than any physical pain you ever had to endure. and for some reason it seemed to come crashing down at night while natasha slept peacefully. you weren't exactly sure how to express your emotions to the extent you felt them. how else was anyone supposed to understand your pain? they couldn't, not unless they could somehow shift into your body and feel your emotions themselves. but that was merely impossible as such powers do not exist. so you were inevitably stuck with words foreign to your lips. over the years you were deemed unsafe, a hazard, "an accident waiting to happen" you recall one doctor say. everyone’s eyes were on you at all times, monitoring every little movement you made. it was suffocating and at times doing more damage than good.

as an adult now you learned how freeing it could be without the fear of gaining weight or eating a bowl full of rainbow marshmallow cereal. your worth was not defined by your weight.

(at least that's what you believed prior to any relapses.) everything was going well in your life. you were a college graduate working as a psychiatric nurse and you had found love, something your teenage self could only dream of. natasha was by your side through everything. and really, the only downfall in the relationship was that she had to travel a lot for her job. but you were secure enough in your relationship not to worry or decide to call things off. in the end natasha always made up for it when she came back, so you couldn't complain too much. things were going well for you, really, they were. until they weren't. (and you didn't know why.) it happened out of nowhere. work was a little more stressful than usual, but it was nothing you couldn't handle. natasha had been away for three months, only stopping by a few times to check in on you. but again, your wife being away for so long wasn't anything new or worrisome. the two of you had followed the routine of her leaving and coming back more than a thousand times; yet somewhere along the way you lost yourself. food became less of a priority, your hunger decreased drastically, and within the first month you'd lost thirteen pounds. it truly was an accident, slipping into a full blown relapse was never part of the plan. but thirteen pounds lighter you wanted more, to feel small again. you didn't have an answer as to why you became so attached to your eating disorder, but it didn't seem like it would be letting go any time soon. the rate at which you were going natasha would most definitely be able to see a difference; not only on your weight, but in the person you once were. she'd ask what happened and why it happened, poking and prodding for an answer, but you didn't have one. so here you stood in the kitchen of your shared home, a cup of sliced fruit in one hand and your cell phone in the other. you poured the fruit into the bottom of a blender along with a spoonful of yogurt and half a cup of soy milk. another half cup of ice followed suit. while the fruit blended, you shamelessly scrolled through your instagram. there was nothing interesting going on in other people's lives, you didn't even know why you had social media in the first place. it was dumb, and quite frankly you didn't give a shit whether or not sharon went to the beach. the sound of your blender coming to a halt brought your attention back to the real world. you poured your smoothie into your water bottle. the green liquid would be your breakfast and lunch for the day - dinner was still up for debate. a soft sigh left your lips. work was beginning to feel more like a chore and less of something you enjoyed. you were quickly growing tired of it. nonetheless, you grabbed your keys and rushed out of the door.

you thought about the irony of working as a psychiatric nurse with an undealt eating disorder telling teenagers how to deal with their own issues. you felt hypocritical to say the least, especially given that all the nasty side effects were starting to make themselves known.

your hair was beginning to thin, small clumps of it already starting to fall out when you tugged a little too hard. bruises could be seen scattered left and right on your body, and you were cold. god you were cold. your fingernails were tinted blue, warmth seemingly too far out of reach. you looked ill, and it didn't go unnoticed by your coworkers.

a few hours into your shift you found yourself sitting behind the nurses station filling out paperwork. lunch had passed and when your coworker, steve, asked if you were going to eat something you lied straight through your teeth, telling him you'd grab something when the patients were eating dinner.

but steve rogers could read you like an open book. he knew you were lying because he already knew what was going on. the signs of an eating disorder were quite obvious when you were a licensed therapist. and despite your futile attempts at hiding it, everyone could tell something wasn't right.

steve played it by ear for weeks until he contacted natasha, but by then you'd already lost a considerable amount of weight. as soon as she heard the news, natasha booked the next flight home. unfortunately for her though, there was only one flight and she would have to wait two and a half weeks before being able to leave.

you didn't know it, but those were the longest two and a half weeks natasha ever had to wait.

– patients were having group therapy, so you could tune them out - not that you should, but it was hard to focus when the only two things you could think about were food and your weight.

the need to lose weight sounded so stereotypical for someone with an eating disorder, but honestly it wasn't about that. it was never about wanting to be thin. you genuinely didn't know why this was happening. the only thing you noticed was how rewarding it felt seeing the number go down, as if for you were good for becoming less. it was addictive. and it didn't help that you based your entire worth on how much you could lose.

the next time you stood up from behind the nurses station steve met you in the the cafeteria. while the patients ate you took occasional sips from your smoothie. the bottle was still full of its contents from the morning. you had completely forgotten to drink it during the day, but you didn't seem to mind it that much.

the surprise touch of steve's hand on your shoulder startled you.

i am gross, you thought. do not do that.

steve caught onto the slight flinch your body produced as a reflex, but he didn't say anything about it.

"you can leave early, boss said so."

he laughed as he saw confusion plaster your face.

"what? no!"

"go home, seriously. we have this handled. you know tony doesn't like being told no."

you bit your lip, puzzled by the sudden request. most people wouldn't mind being sent home early, but all it did for you was give you a level of anxiety reserved for food.

what you didn't know was that natasha was home waiting for your arrival. she came back just short of an hour after you left for work.

while you were gone natasha made a few thorough rounds in the house looking for key signs of your eating disorder. there was bound to be evidence given that you didn't know she was home.

unsurprisingly, natasha found a glass scale beside the counter of the bathroom floor along with empty bottles of laxatives in the trashcan. the food in the fridge had been expired a few days past their date, giving her the indication that you weren't eating as much as you should be. her concern grew even more when she found your food journal on your nightstand. flipping the pages, natasha could see that throughout the moths she'd been gone your calorie intake had decreased significantly.

guilt began to gnaw at the back of her throat.

during the few days natasha stopped by, she hadn't noticed anything wrong with you. but then again she knew most people with eating disorders were very good at hiding them up until the point they were discovered. three days wasn't near enough time for her to catch onto your tricks, not when her mind was still focused on her job.

natasha always listened intently whenever you would talk about your eating disorder, the first time being six months into the relationship on a date you felt like you had ruined.

but talking about it was much different than experiencing it with you, natasha had never done that before up until now. she read nearly every article there was about anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and ednos. sometimes when you were asleep she would watch documentaries on the disorder, always making sure to keep her volume at a low level.

the videos that hurt her the most were the ones teenagers struggling with the simple task of eating food.

(although natasha knew it wasn't that simple.)

it hurt because she knew that was you at some point in time.

upon your arrival, natasha cooked dinner. she wanted to hold onto the one sliver of hope that steve was wrong - that he was just overreacting - but she knew in her heart he was right about his assumption. however, dinner would only confirm what natasha so desperately wanted to deny.

when you walked through the door you were greeted with the overwhelming scent of food. you cringed at the thought of having to eat, but as soon as you looked up to see the redhead who'd been gone for so long your frown was washed away. a wide smile overtook your face and you rushed to jump into natasha's arms.

"i missed you so much," you whispered. "i thought you'd be gone for another few weeks?"

natasha's arms found their way around your waist as your legs wrapped around hers. "what? i can't come home early to surprise my wife?" you giggled in the crook of her neck. she smiled feeling the vibrations against her skin, happy to know that you'd missed her just as much as she missed you.

she sat you down, back facing you, she tended to the food. "you've lost weight," she commented, not missing the sharp inhale of your breath.

"how was work, nat?"

she nodded to herself. yeah, she didn't expect you to be so open on the first try.

"it was fine. dinner's ready, i made your favorite!" natasha threw a smile in your direction as she carried the plates over to the table. she had hoped to see your face light up the way it used to, but seeing the panicked look in your eyes further confirmed your relapse.

if nothing else, natasha wanted you to have a meal before she brought up the conversation.

"great... i love it, thank you nat!" your attempt at being enthusiastic failed miserably and you knew by the look she gave you, she already knew what was going on.

but throughout the meal, and despite the shakiness of your hand as it gripped the metal fork, natasha didn't say anything.

you weren't really sure which was worse; being confronted or knowing the both of you knew what the other was thinking and still not addressing it.

natasha's meal was good, you couldn't lie about that, but each bite you chewed caused the tightening in your chest to constrict further.

now you couldn't be good. or worthy. or deserving.

nat took away your plate when you were halfway through. she knew your limits, and she didn't want to push you too much out of your comfort zone.

"go change, i'll wash our dishes. meet you on the couch?"

you did as you were told, taking as long as you could to do so. except this time was different. you didn't glance in the mirror like you usually did, you chose to fully take in your figure.

what you saw was not what you expected to see. for the first time in months you saw a version of yourself that wasn't twisted and turned to be something you didn't know was real or not.

your skin was dry, hair thinned out beyond your belief, eyes sunken and dark underneath. the revelation gave you an odd feeling – was once again something unexplainable, unjustifiable by words.

good.

that was how you were supposed to feel, right? after all of this time, after the many pounds of protection and warmth lost, you were supposed to feel good.

but you didn't. and you never would.

there was something so surreal about the realization of your own destruction. you were aware now, which meant you had to either take responsibility or choose to lose everything you worked so hard for.

"y/n?"

your wife's voice snapped you out of your gaze and you scrambled to pile your dirty clothes and rush out of the bedroom.

as you made your way into the living room you could feel the intensity of natasha's gaze. any other time you would not mind her green eyes looking at you, but this time around you felt like you were in trouble.

she patted the empty spot next to her, to which you reluctantly joined. but even after everything you still tried to play it cool.

"what's up? is everything okay?"

she gave a low chuckle, "you tell me."

"what do you mean?"

"oh i think you know what i mean."

natasha’s reply was met with the loudest silence you ever had to sit through.

she bit her lip, "you know i got a call from steve a few weeks ago. he's concerned about you, and from what he's told me so am i."

you were quick to respond, automatically knowing what steve’s phone call was about. "i'm fine. so what if i've lost a couple of pounds? that doesn't automatically mean that im relapsing, natasha."

your quick snap reminded natasha that this kind of confrontation was like walking on eggshells.

she tilted her head, licking her lips. "i'm here with you, always." nat put a hand to the side of your face, gently rubbing her thumb at the top of your cheekbone. "i'm here."

it seemed pointless now to try and say anything because your secret was already out.

your mind began racing back and forth.

you wanted to keep what you knew best and natasha understood that. even by reading your body language she knew what you were debating.

"you know, to keep it you have to give it away." your eyes darted to meet hers. "mhm. you can still have that piece of you. mourn it, grieve it, do whatever you need to do to move onto a stage where it doesn't hurt you. and from there you can help other people, share your experience, let yourself heal by helping others."

she paused, “we all have choices. some of those choices are taken from you while others leave you with only one option.”

although what she said seemed to resonate with you, there was one thing still holding you back.

"i just want to be good."

natasha hummed. you had explained it to her in the past, though your words were jumbled together as you tried to describe it.

"you can be good in other ways. you're allowed to live a life outside of the barriers your eating disorder puts in the way."

you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. "i don't even know how it got to this point. in january i enjoyed ihop and dennys. in february i could have oatmeal and bananas, sometimes half of a sandwhich if i was feeling brave. now it’s march and i only eat one or two things a day. the idea of having a full meal makes me want to cry. and i just- i don't know how to stop."

natasha wouldn't show it, but your words cut through her heart like a knife. her mind wandered briefly to all the teenagers in the documentaries she'd watched, hoping you weren't too far gone into your eating disorder to ever come back. those cases scared her the most.

"you've got my complete support. you've tackled this before, maybe this time you can beat it? i know its easier to abuse your body instead of growing comfortable in it, but i think you’ve got this. i know you do."

"what about your work?" your question caused natasha to frown. "you think i wouldn't set my job aside for you?" you shrugged, it's not like you felt like you were worth being taken care of anyway.

natasha grew hesitant to tell you her news, but did it anyway because she’d rather you hate her than see you dead. "i've already made some appointments for you. the first one is tomorrow morning."

"i figured you would natasha. it's okay."

you spaced yourself out the rest of the day. each time you made the executive decision to recover, whether that be a genuine recovery or not, the process never failed to remind you that even trying to recover from an eating disorder felt like mourning the loss of a friend who was never good for you in the first place.

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #avengers x reader #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff imagine

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vics-writes · 3 years

Text

I found this on wattpad so here we are

Square filled: Fake dating/married

Summary: For a mission Sam and Bucky have to go undercover and because of some misunderstandings the two are now soon to be Mr. and Mr. Wilson to their target.

or two dumbasses pining for each other while oblivious to the other feelings

Warnings: Light Swearing, mention of death, blood, injuries

Disclaimer: this one is mostly fluff because I need it in my life, idk about the others.

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-DO-

"How do you fuck up so bad?!" Sam groaned when Bucky slammed the door open questioning him.

"I panicked okay? We weren't supposed to know each other! I didn't exactly imagine that you would be caught in the crossfire!" every bit of anger Bucky felt crumbled down when Sam stood in front of him.

He wasn't crying but his tear stained cheeks suggested otherwise; Bucky wanted to ask, but he bit back the question as soon as it popped into his head. Sam wouldn't tell him, why should he?

The room fell silent as Sam sat back on the bed they now had to share. Somehow it felt wrong for Bucky to sit next to him so he sat on the ground; he could have easily went to sit on the couch on the opposite side of the room, but he didn't want to be too far away.

With the shield still in Walker possession Sam was growing increasingly frustrated and he knew it was his fault. And with the Flag Smashers still on the loose Sam was over the edge.

"You didn't get hurt did you?" Sam broke the silence glancing down at him and the super soldier just shook his head. He was going to say something else when Sam's phone started to ring.

"Sharon" Bucky nodded towards the other while he answered and put him on speaker. "We're both here" They heard a chuckle on the other side and they both knew that call had nothing to do with the mission, or at least nothing serious.

"So, soon to be Mr. and Mr. Wilson.." The woman started being cut off by a laugh, most likely Joaquin's. Sam groaned clearly contemplating if it was worth throwing the phone out of the window.

"I'm not wearing an earpiece ever again! It's your fault!" Bucky stared at Sam with confusion, he had lost his in the crossfire so he hadn't heard the men's voices while Sam tried to explain how they knew each other.

"What did I do?!" Growing rapidly frustrated at the laughter of his teammates Sam got up and left the room. "He's left" Bucky said when Sharon called for him.

"It is our fault" Torres noted after a while that all of them stayed silent. Bucky didn't even have to ask why he had said it when Sharon answered "I didn't think he would really say it!"

"What?" confusion clear in Bucky's voice that only grew when Torres and Sharon resumed their laugh. "I suggested the fianceé thing, but I was kidding!" Torres said in between chuckles.

Bucky hung up the phone on the two laughing and got up to go look for Sam, he found him in the hotel's garden looking down at some yellow flowers.

Ignoring how hard his heart started to pound in his chest he got closer deciding to scare the man when he heard Sam talk.

"Hey bud" He saw Sam extend an hand towards the flowers. Picking up a little bird. Bucky couldn't help the smile that crept on his face.

"Mr. Wilson, Mr. Barnes!" the voice of their target startled them both Bucky promptly turned around realizing he didn't have gloves on, therefore they were in deep shit.

Sam realized too so he swiftly went to stand next to Bucky, sliding an arm around his waist, allowing him to hide his metal hand behind the other's back. They eyed each other and for a moment Sam was taken aback by the way Bucky smiled at him.

It was a rare sight, Bucky so close to him, smiling lightly. Sam chest felt lighter than it had in a while and he felt his hand hold on the man waist a little closer.

"We're good thank you! The room is amazing!" Sam hadn't realized the conversation had went on, too focused on the man next to him. And it didn't help Bucky feeling Sam breath tickle his neck.

The conversation slowly died down and the target left the two of them alone soon enough. The moment he was out of sight both almost jumped away from each other, redness on both their faces and a strange coldness took over them in the place the other's body was pressed against theirs.

"Samuel, James" Zemo passed them with a sly grin and Sam just barely acknowledged him with a nod. "I think he didn't understand the 'undercover means we don't know each other' thing" Bucky tried to lift the tension between him and his partner.

"I think that fucker just likes to mess with us" Sam replied, a little smirk tugging at his lips as he said that.

"We need a story, and a convincing one. We can't risk Mr. White catching us in the lie" Bucky hummed before starting to get back to their room but he stopped as soon as he realized Sam had knelt in front of the flower from before and had picked up the bird again.

"What are you doing?" Sam showed him the little bird and then lifted its wing, "This little guy is hurt, so I'm taking it back to our room"

Bucky glanced at the bird and then back at his partner in astonishment as he passed him going back to their room, in the middle of a potentially deadly mission Sam cared about a bird with a broken wing.

I guess that's what you get when you work with the most caring human being in the universe.

"So we met around seven years ago because of work" Sam started reading the things they had come up with.

"And you fell in love with me the first time you saw me" Bucky joked from where he was sitting upside down on the couch. "I'm pretty sure it was the other way around, Jamie" Sam held his gaze and before they knew it they were having yet another staring contest.

Bucky noted to himself to not let that happen again, because as stubborn as he was keeping up with Sam was starting to get difficult since every time he looked into the man's eyes he felt the urge to get closer and just do something.

"I wouldn't know I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind for love, you know?" he kept the joke beaming when he was met by a soft chuckle. "Well, you basically jumped on my car, so I guess it was love at first sight for you" Bucky shook his head smirking. "The fact that you snatched the steering wheel out of the car I was driving from my hands is completely irrelevant" Sam muttered trying to hold back a laugh when he was met with a really confused and really surprised Bucky.

"I did what?!" Sam burst out laughing loudly and basically rolled down the couch while Bucky grew flustered.

When night came they had a seemingly plausible story about how and when they met and how their relationship developed through the years.

So they were ready to answer the questions that obviously targeted them during dinner. Mr. White seemed really interested in their story and asked a lot of questions but neither of them really thought anything of it. The man was known for being some kind of hermit who lived away from technology and therefore he should have know nothing about them.

"You really seem to love each other dearly" The man commented at some point causing both of them to blush vigorously, Sam was the one to answer with a firm yes taking Bucky's hand from the table and interweaving their fingers.

The super soldier smiled fondly at his partner forgetting for a moment that it was all an act and letting himself enjoy the way it felt for Sam's hand to be in his.

"Sam, can I call you Sam?" suddenly the man's face fell and for a slight second Bucky was able to see a emotionless mask drop on the gentle face he had seen the past days, his anxiety grew when the man next to him nodded "I would like to speak to you in private, if you don't mind?" the question wasn't really a question and Sam nodded glancing at his partner. Bucky felt his hand still in Sam's and he tried to plead him with his eyes to not go alone.

There was something in the sudden change of emotions on the man's face that made him nervous and the thought of leaving Sam alone with him worried him more than he liked to admit.

But still, there was nothing he could do except watch as Sam left the room, following their target.

Wary of his surroundings Bucky noticed that the moment the door closed the men in the room had started to surround him.

He mentally cursed Zemo for leaving them alone at dinner but he didn't really have time to think about him since the guards in the room attacked him.

In a swift motion he grabbed Sam's previous chair and smashed it on a man's head and then turned around to take the gun out of another's.

Now he had a gun but the men in the room outnumbered him greatly so he used the first chance he got to get closer to a wall so that he could turn his back at it without risking of getting shot.

For some reasons the men in the room weren't shooting at him, they were attacking him physically and never more than two at a time. Bucky knew that there was something wrong about it but his mind was too worried about keeping him alive and worrying about his partner to really care about how they were attacking him.

But as the fight went on Bucky started to struggle against the men, he was sure he was going down but the thought of what could have happened to Sam kept him going.

Then the men suddenly stopped as the door opened, their target started clapping at him as he approached. "Good show Mr. Barnes" he commented with a smirk.

Bucky got up to attack him but the man's smile just grew making him falter. "Where's Sam?" he didn't like the way the man smiled at him, and he hated the sound he made with his tongue.

"Your fianceé? Oh he's right here" He turned towards the door as he spoke and two men threw Sam into the room. The man looked beaten up and there was blood running down his neck. He didn't seem to have the strength to get up but his eyes were open and they widened when he saw Bucky surrounded by men.

"Buck" the nickname fell softly from Sam's lips and his breath was cut short by a kick in the abdomen.

Bucky took a step forward but the man in front of him put a hand on his chest, without thinking he gripped the hand and turned it letting the man fall on the ground, he was about to hit him when he felt a low whine from his partner again. He lifted his eyes from the man under him to see Sam on the floor and Mr. White's foot on his throat.

"Touch one other of my men and your lover dies" he threatened pushing his foot harder against Sam's neck.

"Leave him" the super soldier hissed letting go of the man. When Sam throat was released Bucky realized he wasn't breathing too.

His anger only grew when Sam started coughing painfully still on the ground. looking at his partner he could feel his muscles aching for the need of doing something, anything, to protect him. But he couldn't. He knew that as soon as he moved Sam would die and the bare thought of it happening made him feel like he was underwater.

He felt panic raise at the back of his throat the more he realized there was nothing he could do to make things better. He could only watch as Sam was lifted from the ground and thrown into a chair with a loud groan.

They didn't even bother tying him, as it looked like even breathing pained him.

"Take off your gloves, soldier" Panic shot inside Sam eyes, he knew. He knew about Bucky arm. He knew who he was. And that couldn't be a good thing.

He wanted to tell him not to listen to him, he begged him with his eyes but Bucky slowly took of his glove revealing his metal hand. If Sam wasn't so worried about his partner he wouldn't have noticed how his flash hand shook as he took it off.

And that worried him a whole more. He was sure he was as worried as him about the man knowing who he was, but he couldn't have been more wrong. Bucky was worried, scared even, but it wasn't about himself. He couldn't help but feel like all of that was his fault.

The man had an interest in him, not Sam. Sam was a mean to an end. Sam was how he got to him.

He was the reason why Sam had gotten hurt and was now risking his life.

Guilt started to make his way into Bucky's mind as tears clouded his vision.

"So it's true. You are the Winter Soldier." Sam head shoot up to look at the man when he grabbed Bucky's metal arm and liftrd it. But Bucky kept his eyes on his partner, scared that if he stopped looking something could happen to him.

"Now I don't have your code words. But I'm sure that with the right leverage -Bucky flinched slightly when he pointed towards Sam- you will do the work just as good, isn't that right?"

"N-no" Sam struggled to talk and his voice came out a barely whisper, but Bucky heard him and felt his heart quiver. Even when his life was on the line, Sam still put his wellbeing before his own.

"Yes" Bucky face fell, his eyes cold and his body still. He hated it, he hated everything about it, but Sam was more important now.

"You will do some things for me and if you're good then maybe I won't kill your little boyfriend" Sam felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Seeing Bucky acting like the Winter Soldier wasn't anything knew, Madripoor was an example, but knowing that that man wanted him to kill. That was bad.

And it was his fault. Bucky was doing it because he wasn't strong enough, he just had to get himself caught and held hostage.

He wanted to scream, tell the man to fuck off and leave them alone. He wanted to do something, anything, to stop Bucky from acting like that.

His heart broke even more when Bucky muttered 'ready to comly' as if he had pronounced his trigger words. and when the man smirked at him Sam just knew that he need to act, even if it got him killed.

Thinking about it it was probably Bucky's best chance. If he died the man couldn't use him as leverage.

It hurt even to breathe but thinking about Bucky's freedom was enough to give him a motive.

Both men sprung into action at the same moment. Sam snatched the gun from the guy next to him while Bucky grabbed Mr. White throat. Within seconds the two men were close again and Sam held the gun to Mr. White head.

The moment his men started to get closer Sam shoot a bullet in the air as a warning and everyone in the room went still, waiting for their next move.

"You okay?" Sam asked gaining a very mad and very concerned look from his partner. "You're asking me if I'm okay?"

Sam snorted as he moved towards the exit, but walking was becoming increasingly more difficult and Bucky noticed so he used his free hand to steady his partner helping him get out. On his way out he broke the door handle locking everyone inside.

The moment they were out of trouble Bucky punched the target so hard Sam was sure he had heard bones crack.

"James! Samuel! here you are." Zemo came running towards them, stopping in his track when he looked at Sam. "What happened to you?" he tried touching the blood on Sam's neck but Bucky grabbed his hand before he could reach it.

"Tie him up in your room." Zemo glanced towards the man on the ground and nodded dragging him away from there.

Silence met the two men as they stared at each other, both of them too worried to even talk. But now was not the time to have a staring contest and Bucky came to his senses when he noticed Sam slowly losing balance.

He moved closer wrapping an arm around his waist and allowing him to put his arm around his shoulders.

Back to their room Bucky laid Sam on the bed and began to look the first aid kit. He started to open every bag they had and every closet, cabinet or drawer in the room but he couldn't find it.

He nervously glanced towards Sam urging him to stay awake. "In my bag" Sam smiled at him as Bucky fetched the kit and started patching his head.

"How do you feel?" Sighing deeply Bucky looked at him. "Stop asking me how I am, youre the one injured!" he raised his voice and felt immediately bad when Sam flinched.

"I'm sorry" Sam looked at him and just knew he wasn't talking about raising his voice. "Not your fault, I shouldn't have lowered my guard."

The soldier shook his head at that but stopped when Sam's hand found his cheek. "I'm okay Buck. How are you?"

Bucky faltered trying to resist the urge to lean into Sam's touch, he muttered something that reminded of a 'fine', and when he looked into his partner eyes he felt his resistance crumble to the ground.

He leaned into his hand while getting closer. Sam smiled at the closeness and Bucky swore to himself that he would have done anything in his power to make sure that smile was the only thing on his face for as long as Sam allowed him to be with him.

At the same time Sam swore that he would have done anything to keep Bucky safe from his past.

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is this bad? yes. am I going to post it anyways? yes.

next one

#bucky x sam #sam wilson x bucky barnes #sebastian stan #anthony mackie #fatws #the falcon and the snowman #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #tfatws #sambucky #winterfalcon #sam wilson #captain america #captain america and the white wolf #I love my stupid ass boys

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maysbanks · 4 years

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are you bored yet. (jj maybank)

hey everyone ! basically this is my first time writing for jj, or anyone from obx in general. this is a side acc from my main acc that i made purely bc this fic idea came to me when watching obx and after listening to the wallows on repeat for weeks. idk i just thought the song was kinda fitting for jj, and im a sucker for soft ! jj with a friends to lovers arc, so here this is. it's quite a long one btw, the words just kept flowing so i apologise in advance. also i have a few more fic ideas based off some songs so if you like this and are interested in more pls let me know ! im probably gonna be writing a lot more for this boy bc i adore him. anyways i hope u enjoy !

warnings: features swearing, mention of sex, underage drinking, drug use and violence.

summary: based lightly off the song 'are you bored yet?' by the wallows ft clairo, reader and jj delve deeper into their relationship, taking the steps further into becoming something more than best friends. however worries and doubts begin to plague their minds, as they fear their relationship of becoming just a memory.

( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )

"What are you doing later?" You looked towards Kie who'd directed the question towards you, her eyes squinting from the sun that was grinning down at your forms from where you were both seated on the sand.

"Dunno," you shrugged your shoulders. "Probably hanging out with J or something."

Kiara scoffed, a mocking look taking over the features of her face as her head turned towards yours, your eyebrows raising at the sly smirk on her lips. "What?" You questioned, narrowing your eyes when all she did was laugh. You shifted in your place, body moving from laying on your back to on your stomach, figuring it was about time to switch positions for your tan anyway. "Seriously Kie, what're you laughing about?"

She shifted along with you, only laying on her right side so she could face you head on, her hand propping her head up from the ground. She was still grinning. "JJ," she said simply. You raised your eyebrows at her once more, seemingly not understanding what she was trying to get at. "What's going on with you two?" Kie pushed on when you didn't respond, her own eyebrows inching further up her forehead.

In the distance you could hear the boys' screams, their commotion coming from the water you had passed on entering. You could hear JJ taunting John B from where you lay, Pope laughing along, and the splashes that you could only assume were also coming from them. You never spared them a glance, though from the corner of your eye could see their figures and indeed the loud splashes of water were coming from them, and you were certain JJ was holding John B underneath the water.

"Nothing's going on," you said in response to Kie's question, rolling your eyes playfully at her exclaim of 'oh c'mon!'. "What? It's the truth. Nothing is going on, not really."

Kie furrowed her brows. "What do you mean by 'not really'? Did something happen between you two?" She prodded.

You shrugged, because in all honesty you couldn't say much of anything about your relationship with JJ. You were just as unsure about it all as Kie and more than likely the rest of the gang were (because if Kie had picked up on it than surely Pope and John B had too, and you were kind of freaking about it.) and had no idea what to say in her line of questioning. Of course you wanted to talk about it, you and the Pogues never kept secrets from each other - but was it really a secret when they technically knew about it anyway, and was it really a secret when you and JJ hadn't even spoken about keeping it a secret too? Your mind raced, and you figured it was easier to just shrug it off for the time being. Kie would no doubt ask again, and you hoped you had the answers by the next time she (or someone else) would.

"He's my best friend," you'd decided on saying. From the corner of your eye, you could see the guys approaching. "We've been close since we were like, ten. We've always been the same."

Except now the two of you held hands under the table and kissed in the safety of your rooms, among other things. That part of your relationship was fairly new though, and so you decided against saying anything until you could work out exactly what was going on between you and JJ - because you had no clue, and weren't even sure that JJ knew himself. It just sort of happened, the line being crossed over from friends to lovers in the blink of an eye. One minute you'd never dare to give in to the temptation of JJ Maybank's heavenly sinful lips, and the next the pair of you were sharing a bed almost every night.

Nothing much had changed though, in regards to your friendship. JJ and you had always been close, always intimate in your touches. Always beside each other, rarely without the other. You were an unstoppable duo from the minute you met. Just somehow, along the line, over the years, your friendship had turned into more. Each touch became longer, each glance would linger, and something had shifted. It was inevitable, you supposed. Nobody was ever really that close with someone without feelings getting involved at some point.

The guys were a lot closer now, and Kie spared them a glance before looking back towards you. "Friends don't look at each other the way you two do." Was all she said before the sun that was earlier shining down on you was blocked by the trio of tall guys that smiled at the pair of you. Kie sat up, smiling as Pope took a seat beside her on her towel. "Have fun out there?"

"Oh, tons," came the voice that belonged to the person you were talking about not a minute ago. JJ smirked down at you, blonde hair dripping wet on his forehead and golden tanned chest on full show. You admired the view behind your sunglasses and sent a grin in his direction when he seemed to notice. "You checking me out there, babe?"

You laughed as he did a little shimmy, rolling your eyes as you looked at him over the rim of your glasses. "What would you do if I was, Maybank?" You played along, smirking when you heard John B let out a gag from somewhere beside you. JJ smiled back, and squatting down in front of your form he'd grabbed hold of your feet, laughing when you squealed. Tugging so that you were laying on your back rather than your front, his sea blue eyes gazed down your body, unknowingly leaving a trail of fire in its wake. The feeling you shared with JJ was unlike any other, nothing or nobody could come close to topping it. It was unexplainable, the feeling of absolute longing for him to just be there forever. You couldn't ever imagine a life without him in it, and that thought both scared and excited you.

JJ stared down at you, tongue peeking from his mouth to wet his pink lips as he looked. You felt hot all over and you knew it wasn't because of the sun. "Things only you could imagine sweetheart," he taunted from above you, knowing fine well that what you could imagine he'd probably already done to you. You smirked back, feeling a thrill shoot through you because the pair of you knew this and the remaining three of your group had no idea, or so you believed. This new relationship, this unspoken thing between the two of you was simply yours, and somewhere in the future you feared you'd both come to regret it, whatever it was, but in the moments of the present you knew neither of you could find it in yourselves to actually care.

And so you both smiled at each other like the world around you didn't exist, and for a couple of seconds you could pretend it didn't, JJ moving so he was seated behind you with your body seated between his legs and your back against his chest. Sat there, surrounded by your friends though almost oblivious to their presence as JJ's hands rested on your skin, his breath on your neck. You leaned into him, and smiled when he placed a discreet kiss to your shoulder.

Locking eyes with him, you grinned. The burst of happiness and content when he grinned back was almost unbearable, and in that moment you knew you never wanted whatever it was that you two shared to end.

It was a few days later when JJ showed up at your window, his face bloody and bruised, his form weak as he pulled himself into your bedroom. You didn't need to ask twice about who'd caused the damage, your body and mind going into autopilot as you hurried from your bed and grabbed hold of him, JJ grunting as he fell into you, his hand clutching desperately at his side.

"Shit, JJ," you'd cursed as you helped him land on your bed, hands instantly grabbing at his face and assessing the damage that had been left by his father. There was cuts along his brow line, his eye was bruised and already swollen shut, his bottom lip bust open and oozing blood. Your thumbs swiped along his cheeks, being careful of the injuries, and you felt tears pricking at your eyes at the sight of him. You blinked them away as quickly as you could, he didn't need to see you being so upset in that moment. And besides, you had bigger issues like getting him cleaned up like you had done too many times before. "Stay here, okay. I'm gonna go get the first aid kit."

JJ only grunted, and you pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room to get the kit, your mind reeling. It was no secret about JJ's father and his years of abuse towards his own son, and you'd seen him beaten so badly so many times before, but it never got any easier. Each time it happened JJ would wound up at your house, and each time you would clean him up, making sure his wounds were tended to and making him as comfortable as possible as he slept next to you, most nights with his head resting on your chest as you soothed him to sleep with whispers of reassurance that you were there and that you loved him. He would fall asleep with tears staining his cheeks and you would cry yourself to sleep afterwards too, wishing that could just take away all his pain, wishing that you could do more, wishing that JJ had a better life than what he was given, because there was no-one that deserved it more.

You sniffed and forced your tears away, trying to focus on the task at hand. It didn't take long to locate the first aid kit and within a minute you were back in your bedroom, where JJ lay, staring up at your ceiling with his chest moving up and down in a motion that proved he was trying to hold his own tears in. Your heart broke at the sight, and you bit down on your wobbling lip as you moved towards him. His eyes met yours when you were close enough, stood in front of him on your bed. You smiled softly.

"Hey, honey," you soothed as he slowly sat up, grimacing at the obvious pain from his side as he did so. Despite his pain, he smirked back at you.

"Hi, baby."

Stepping closer, effectively between his legs, you smiled as his hands wound around and grabbed at your legs, almost as if he was grounding himself, focusing all his attention onto you. You took a moment to take him in as you pressed the wet rag you'd also grabbed on his face, beginning to clean the cut on his eyebrow. It wasn't too deep, thank god, you thought. You feared for the day where one cut might be too deep and one blow too strong, and the thought of JJ, strong and hot headed and impulsive and passionate, might not being able to drag himself out of the house of hell and getting to anyone for help, to you, to John B, to Pope or Kie, scared the shit out of you to put it simply. JJ was so strong, but there was only so much he could take, and you dreaded the day when that would come. You could only hope it never, and in the meantime do your best to prevent it. You let out a shaky breath as you continued to clean the blood from his face, gently dabbing at his torn lip as he hissed. "I'm sorry hon," you murmured, feeling your gut twist at the sight of him in pain.

"I'm okay," he breathed out, only it was shaky and you both knew it to be a lie. You said nothing though, not wanting to start an argument that night. You'd had countless in situations like these, where you'd tell him he needs to get away from his dad and he'd tell you its not that easy and that nothing fucking is on this island, and you'd try and tell him you understand that but you hate seeing him like that, beaten to a pulp, sometimes barely even able to move, and that you were scared to lose him. He'd tell you that you were too good for him, you deserved better, you deserved more, and you'd cry and tell him to shut up, that he was your best friend and all you ever needed and you'd always be there for him, and he would shake his head and deny it all with tears streaming down both your faces until you collapsed into each other and fell asleep with your limbs intertwined whatever mood you'd gone to sleep in. There was something about that night that told you not to argue, not to push him, just clean him up and hold him and let him know that he wasn't alone in this world. His eyes met yours once more. "I'm okay." He repeated, as if you hadn't heard him the first time.

All you could do was nod, and wiping the last bit of blood from his face, you quickly went over the cuts with disinfectant, JJ's grip tightening on the backs of your legs as you continued to tend to every last bit of him. Finishing on his face, you placed a kiss on each and every cut, bruise or scrape that was etched into his skin. He let out a shaky breath, one hand moving up and landing on your back, rubbing up and down as his forehead rested on your shoulder. Running your own hands through his blonde locks, you pressed your nose to the top of his head as you held him close to you. It wasn't long before you felt the tears soak through the material of your shirt (which was technically JJ's shirt, but that didn't matter much.) and his body started to shake against your own, chest heaving and hands shaking.

"I hate him," you heard him mutter. You closed your eyes, wrapping your arms around him tighter, one hand clutching the back of his neck as the other rubbed soothing patterns onto his back. JJ shook against you, hands clutching onto the sides of your shirt as his lips brushed against the side of your neck as he let out a sob. "I just - I fucking hate him! Why does he do this, why does he -? Why, why, why?"

He was muttering the word over and over again, all sense of himself lost as he sobbed into your neck. In that moment, you felt so useless, so powerless, and you knew that JJ did too. You wished you could take away all his pain, make him see that he was so loved, that you loved him entirely and surely, but all you could do in that moment was hold him tight and screw your eyes shut as you cried along with him.

"He doesn't deserve you, J," you whispered into his hair. "He doesn't deserve you one bit. You're the best son, okay. You're the best friend, the best goddamned person on this island, on this planet! You're so loved, you hear me? You're so loved, babyboy. We all love you, I love you okay. I love you more than anything."

You'd said the words a million times before, but somehow in that moment, wrapped up in each other, JJ sobbing into your chest and you holding him like a person would a child, his ear resting against your heart where he could hear every little beat, his own matching the rhythm soon after - in that moment, _you both knew it meant more. That the friendly shared 'love you's' from so many times before were different to the ones now, and yet still neither of you spoke about it. You focused on JJ, giving him the comfort he so desperately needed. And JJ focused on you, focused on your heartbeat and the sound of your breathing and the soothing words you were whispering to him, and you had no clue as to what he was thinking; that he loved you, so fucking much. JJ Maybank didn't know what to do with that, to love someone so completely and honestly like he loved you, beyond the point of friendship and into the unknown territory of _in-love _absolutely _terrified him. But he knew it to be true, he was in love with you.

And as you forced him to take his shirt off so you could inspect the bruises surrounding his stomach and chest, laying a gentle kiss onto each and every one of them as he started at you with pure adoration in his eyes, he thought about your relationship - fears of you getting bored of him, wanting more than the island life and more than him, fears of you leaving him for something or someone simply more. Realising that he was no good like he'd always said, always suspected. But then you gazed at him with a certain glint in your eyes that he knew was reflecting in his own, and you were pressing your lips to his in a soft caress that dimmed all thoughts from his head and the question of 'are you bored yet?' fell flat on his lips as you ate them, chewed it up and spat it straight back out.

That conversation could come later, he supposed.

JJ's jaw clenched as he took in the sight of you, skin glowing in the late night sun that was slowly fading in the moons advance. The kegger had begun only an hour or so before, and yet the beach was filled with people already - varying of Pogues, Tourons and Kooks.

Among them all was you, red cup placed in your hands as you laughed at something the guy in front of you was saying, a small smile on the boys lips as he watched you. JJ felt something twist in his gut, suddenly feeling nauseous as he was stood a bit away from you, taking in the sight with malice in his blue eyes. He didn't know the guy that much was for sure, which could only mean one thing; he was definitely a Touron. That also probably meant that he was one of the few people at the party that didn't know JJ or anything of his reputation for being a bit too hot headed. JJ couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing.

"Dude," John B slapped a hand on his shoulder, effectively snapping his trance at the pair across the beach. JJ turned towards his best friend, a smirk on John B's lips as their eyes met. "You're gonna poke holes into that guys head the way you're glaring at him man."

JJ rolled his eyes, his head once again moving to look back towards your figure. You didn't look mad at the attention the guy was giving you, and that sent a trail of fury in JJ's veins. "Who is that guy, man?" He asked instead of replying to John B's playful taunts. John B seemed to take note of that and simply shook his head. Fucking clueless, he thought.

"Dunno," John B replied as he took a swig of the beer in his hands. "Some Touron, probably." He glanced at his best friends face and noticed the glare darken in JJ's eyes. He suddenly shifted, blocking his view of you and the guy, ignoring JJ's grunt of displeasure at his move. "Don't start anything, J. Alright?"

JJ scoffed. "Me?" He chuckled darkly. "Nah man, you know I'd never start anything," he patted John B's chest twice. "I'm not the fighting type." JJ knew that John B could make out the sarcastic drawl to his words, and looking away from the brunette's eyes JJ was glancing back at you. His features shifted dramatically as he saw the guy take a step closer to your body, and despite the somewhat uncomfortable smile on your face you never seemed to object to the move. JJ felt the anger in his veins grow. "Fuck this!"

John B stopped him before he could take another step, shoving his chest so that he stumbled backwards. "Don't even think about it," JB warned. From afar, Pope seemed to take notice of the two and began to walk towards the seething blonde and his brunette best friend. "Pope, man tell him," John B practically pleaded as the most level headed of the group arrived at their side. It didn't take long for Pope to realise what the source of JJ's anger was, spotting you and the guy, completely oblivious to what was going on. "What are you planning on doing, huh?"

"He's all over her," JJ simply said - as if that was enough of an excuse for his anger. Pope and John B shared a glance. "I'm just gonna go over there and see if she's alright, alright?"

"Why do you care if he's all over her?" Pope raised his eyebrows. "You're not her boyfriend."

That faltered JJ's stance, and for a split second he looked away from you - still laughing, both hands gripping the cup in your hands, bikini clad top on full show for unwelcome eyes to wander. He clenched his jaw tighter, teeth clashing in his mouth, as he thought about Pope's words. Was it technically true; wasn't he your boyfriend? He didn't know - neither of you did. You hadn't spoken about anything, the changes in your relationship coming almost naturally so that neither of you cared to at first.

First, there was the no Pogue-on-Pogue macking rule. Second, there was something so deliciously thrilling about keeping your relationship from everyone else - no room for drama or prying eyes, or so he thought. But the unknown was beginning to scare him, and all he wanted was answers.

It was as if putting a label on what you both were would potentially put an end to everything, all the kissing, cuddling, secret touches, lingering looks, whispered endearments. The pair of you were too young for this shit, JJ thought. Thinking so hard about what you are or weren't. And god forbid you'd both come to regret it all; JJ couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

"I'm not gonna do anything," he said simply, and shoved his way past his friends before they could do anything else. He approached you, your eyes immediately catching his and a large grin overtaking the features of your face as he came closer. The guy seemed to notice your shift in attention and he turned too, eyes widening a bit at the sight of the blonde stood in front of him. JJ tried to smile naturally, his too sharp teeth secretly grinding together. "Hey," he chirped as if he was talking to an old friend. "How're you doing, man? I'm JJ."

You hid a laugh behind your hand, having no clue as to what JJ was trying to achieve but finding the obviously fake enthusiasm rather hilarious in that moment. Over his shoulder, you noticed John B and Pope watching with careful eyes, and everything seemed to click in your mind. _JJ was obviously planning on starting something. _You decided to get yourself and your somewhat boyfriend slash best friend out of the situation before anything could happen, the poor Touron didn't have a clue that you were kinda taken, to a fist throwing first ask questions later, tall blonde named JJ Maybank after all.

"It was nice talking to you, dude," you told the guy, his face dropping at the word dude. God, had he seriously wasted all that time flirting with you? You grabbed JJ's hand, only for him to tug it out of yours and place it around your shoulders, blue eyes sending daggers to the nervous boy on front of you. "We're gonna go now, I think."

And with that, you led the way away from him, not missing the way JJ's eyes swooped over the guy in an almost warning manner before smirking at him. Your hand reached up and fingers intertwined with those of JJ's that were sat rather comfortably near your breast. JJ's fingers squeezed yours in response, his arm tugging you closer before he leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to the top of your head.

Once you were a good distance away from the party and its occupants on the beach, you turned in his arm, hand letting go of his to wrap both your arms around his waist. He kept the same arm around your shoulder and placed his other on your bare back between the high waist line of your shorts and the knot of your bikini, long fingers spacing out and rubbing soothing patterns into the skin.

You sighed as you looked at him. "What was that about?" You questioned, a small smile tugging on your lips regardless of the seriousness in your question as you demanded answers.

"That guy was all over you," JJ grunted, his eyes leaving yours to glare at the space where you stood a minute before talking to the said guy. "He was practically drooling all over you. I saved you, y'know. You should be thanking me, babe."

You laughed, and rolling your eyes you reached up to touch his face, thumb smoothing over the still darkened skin under his eye from the confrontation of his dad earlier that week. Leaning up on your toes, aware that nobody could see the action from the distance you and JJ were stood from the kegger, you pressed a kiss to the bruised skin, JJ's eyes closing at the feel of your lips against his skin, a soft exhale leaving his chest.

"Were you jealous, baby?" You teased gently, chuckling at his scoff in response to your accusation. "Relax, J. You don't have to be. I've only got eyes for you."

That seemed to catch his attention. JJ pulled away from you a bit, blue eyes suddenly serious and pink lips forming a tight line. For a second you worried you'd said something wrong, suddenly afraid that he would pull back completely and distance himself from you like you feared one day he would - it was only a matter of time before he realised what you had was a mistake, you worried. That he'd get bored of you and realise there was so many other people he could have. The thought alone made you sick, and you forced the intruding thoughts to the back of your head as JJ's eyes trailed over your face.

"What's wrong?" You couldn't take it anymore. The silence was deafening, even with the music and chatter of the teenagers behind you lingering in the night air. JJ seemed to get hold of his bearings at that moment, shaking his head and leaving a hand from your body to run through his hair. You watched him all the while, lip between your teeth. "J, what's wrong baby?"

JJ wished he had an answer, but he simply didn't. He had no idea what was wrong, no way of telling you the thoughts that were running through his mind. JJ had never been good with words, or emotions, or anything much like that at all. And so he just shook his head, sighing deeply as his hands caressed your face. You welcomed the touch, head leaning into his hold as he smiled down at you. You knew there was something he wanted to say to you; you had known him for so long, felt like all your life, and you could see right through his lies. However you never said a thing, once again. In that moment, it felt enough to just be by his side.

"Can we go?" He muttered quietly, despite no-one being around you. You smiled softly, eyes staring into each others there on the beach. "Just wanna go to sleep with you," he murmured that time, leaning down and kissing the side of your lips, not completely which had you grumbling quietly.

"Course, baby," you whispered as you looked at him, feeling nothing but adoration and love for the boy in front of you. "Let's go."

And so after kissing him under the moonlight, feet sunken in the damp sand as the sea splashed around you, the kegger still going strong in the distance, JJ took your hands and led the way back to the Chateau, where despite both your similar thoughts you crawled into bed in the spare bedroom and fell asleep together, your head resting on his chest with his cheek pressed against your head, arms wrapped around forms and legs intertwined.

It was hot, blistering heat panning down on your form as you lay on the hammock outside the Chateau, eyes closed with one arm resting over them in a fleeting attempt to block the sun out. Despite the unbearable temperature of the day, JJ lay in between your legs, perfectly muscular arms wrapped around your waist as his head rested on your stomach that was covered only by one of his infamous cut-off sleeve shirts, only a bikini underneath it keeping you modest.

One of your hands played with the hair on the back of his neck, twirling the strands in between your fingers and repeating the process over and over again, JJ letting out a low him as you did so.

It was just the two of you, the quiet and peacefulness welcome on the hot day as you cuddled as close as you could and as much as you wanted, nothing off limits away from the prying eyes of your best friends. Both Kie and Pope were working, John B having traded your company for that of Sarah Cameron's for the day, and so that only left the pair of you to do anything and everything you pleased. JJ had let out a joyous whoop when you'd discovered the fact, and you'd only managed to get out of bed half an hour before as he took full advantage of having the Chateau to yourselves for the morning. The original plan was to go surfing, but as soon as you'd stepped out of the house the both of you seemed to come to a silent mutual agreement that lounging around in the sun on the porch was a much more welcoming idea instead.

And so that's what the pair of you had done; there was barely a word uttered between you both as you lay there, JJ's skin slightly sticky and damp on your own due to the heat, but neither of you seemed to mind as you simply closed your eyes and basked in the quiet, content with doing nothing with your favourite person.

JJ's hands had moved so that he was caressing your side, your skin revealed with the low cut of his shirt as his thumb rubbed patterns into your skin. In its wake it left goosebumps, JJ's touch never failing to make you shiver even in all the years you had known him. He knew what effect he had on you too, he smirked as you shivered, his other hand squeezing the flesh of your hip.

You trailed your own hands down from his hair and onto the exposed flesh of his back as he lay shirtless, and you could feel the muscles under your palms clench as you let out a small giggle. JJ chuckled along, although he'd had no idea as to what it was you were laughing at in the first place. The sound of your laugh just made him happy, he supposed.

"What're you laughing at?" He murmured quietly, chin propping on your stomach and his eyes squinting up at you. He'd moved a hand down to your thigh, now kneading the flesh there as his other remained on your side and wrote unknown words into the skin there. You grinned down at him lazily, the sun and his charming aura making you feel high. Then again, you probably were high; the blunt you'd both shared a couple of minutes earlier taking its toll.

"Nothing," you hummed. "Just really, really fucking happy right now s'all."

JJ laughed, laying a kiss onto your stomach and loving the way you giggled at the action. He pressed more there, letting out dramatic sounds of various 'mwah's' as he trailed them up further until his lips were on the skin on your collarbone, continuing his assault onto your neck. JJ's tongue darted out, and your giggles had soon turned into breathy moans of approval as he sucked on the skin, his sharpened teeth sinking into the flesh not long after. You gripped the back of his neck, fingernails digging into his hairline as your sounds of pleasure rippled through the air surrounding you without a care in the world. In that moment you couldn't care less if anyone had caught you - all that mattered was JJ, all that ever mattered was JJ. He sucked gently on your flesh, adding to the bruises that already littered your chest, stomach, thighs, anywhere he could get his mouth earlier. You both knew questions would be asked from the others, in the high temperatures of the Outer Banks your skin was almost always revealed. But again, neither of you cared.

Not when JJ's mouth left your skin with a satisfying pop, his eyes taking in the sight of the freshly bruised flesh, a content smile on his lips. He leaned down and peppered a kiss to the lovebite, soothing his tongue over it afterwards. You let out a sigh, suddenly breathless under his heated gaze.

JJ shuffled his body up and closer, one leg in between yours as his right hand came up and held your face tenderly in his palm, the rough skin of his thumb swiping along your brow as he grinned cheekily down at you. "You're fucking beautiful y'know that?"

Your cheeks blazed, an almost embarrassed laugh leaving your mouth and you shook your head at his words. JJ looked offended suddenly, his brows furrowing as he nodded furiously. "Um, yes you are. Don't you dare say that you're not because you're, fucking, beautiful, okay," between each word he left lingering kisses to your lips with his own, and you knew it was probably the weed in his system that had spurred him to such a romantic confrontation, but you welcomed it regardless, giggling against his lips as one leg hooked around his waist. "Fucking god, you keep doing that and we won't be moving from this hammock all day."

"I'm not complaining about that," you replied and pressed your lips harder to his. JJ let out a groan, his body impulsively pushing down further onto yours, his hips directly on yours, chests pressed close together, his arm holding him up enough near your head so he didn't suffocate you completely, his other kneading the soft flesh of your bikini bottom clad ass. Your own hands caressed the skin of his abdomen, fingers sprawled and feeling his abs tense underneath the tips. You pulled away only slightly, taking in the sight of his flushed face, his eyes bright and yearning, flashing with something you couldn't quite place and his lips swollen and so very red. "Thank you, by the way." You whispered as you reached up and pushed the hair from his face. "You're pretty beautiful yourself, hon."

JJ seemed to understand what you were getting at then, his chest heaving with a chuckle as he shook his head at you. He leaned down and placed a kiss to your nose, returning his head to snuggle into your neck as you were once again wrapped around each other. "Thanks, I know," he joked (possibly) as his hands resumed their pattern of soothing shapes on your ribs. You hummed a random tune, the calming atmosphere returning around the pair of you on the porch. It was quiet for a few more minutes, your eyes closing involuntarily and almost falling asleep right then and there before JJ spoke up again. "You're my best friend, y'know."

The words were so quiet you almost missed them, but with the silence surrounding you, you'd heard them loud and clear. Your eyes opened and you glanced down at the boy laying atop of you, his face hidden in the skin of your neck.

"I would hope so," you laughed slightly, having no clue as to where JJ was planning on going with the fact. "You're my best friend too. I'd be lost without you and the guys."

"No," JJ shook his head. He shifted in his place, eyes connecting with yours as you sent him a questioning look, quirking your eyebrow. JJ sighed deeply, sucking his lower chapped lip into his mouth for a second before releasing it and allowing your finger to trace the outline of it. "You don't get it. You're like, my best friend. I know it sounds stupid and I'm probably a selfish fucker for saying it, but I'd put you above everyone else. You are above everyone else. And like, I don't know how else to explain it but you mean the fucking world to me. Without you, I'd be nothing. If I lost you, I'd fucking die."

His voice broke at the end, and it damn near broke your heart as you hushed him gently, arms circling around his head and holding it close to your chest. You kissed his forehead, hearing him sniffle before he raised his head and met your eyes, the sea blue crystallised by unshed tears.

"I feel like I've known you my whole life, and I just - I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm scared honestly, shit fucking feared of losing you, or you realising that I'm just a no good low life and you could do better, and honestly you could and I don't even know what the fuck you're doing with me," JJ chuckled darkly and you shook your head, feeling tears prick at your own eyes at his words. "And I don't even know if you want to be with me, or if what we're doing is some mistake you're gonna regret, but you're my best friend."

The earnest in his voice made your heart clench in your chest. You'd seen JJ cry numerous times, seen his facade break and his world around him to crash, seen the emotions pour out of him with so much force whether they be happy, sad, fucking hysterical or ecstatic; and you'd loved him through it all. The realisation of just how much you loved him, that went beyond friendship and into pure, earnest and genuine love for the boy in front of you, made your head swirl and butterflies in your stomach to clash heavily against your ribcage. Something warm spread throughout you, and you welcomed the feeling with open arms. You loved JJ Maybank, purely and honestly, with every fibre in your being.

"J," you murmured carefully, gripping his damp cheeks and forcing him to look at you. His face was unreadable, but you could see in his eyes what he was feeling in that moment. "You're fucking crazy, alright? Everything about you is so damned chaotic and I love every bit of it. I love every bit of you, so much. Do you know how scared I was that you would take all this back? Regret it all, leave me for someone better. I was scared shitless, because I cannot lose you. You're my best friend, and all I wanna do is spend all my time with you."

"I've never felt like this before," you whispered as JJ's gaze softened, hands gripping your hips and squeezing gently. You traced the worry in his brows, easing it away, traced the bottoms of his eyes, the slope of his nose and the outline of his lips. He breathed against your fingertips, the soft exhale making the hairs on your arms raise. "I love you, J. And if you think you're ever gonna get rid of me, you're terribly fucking mistaken."

JJ chuckled at that, blonde head falling on your chest as he breathed in and out, seemingly catching his breath at your confession. "Thank god," he breathed, cheeky gaze raising to catch yours as he grinned, suddenly surging forward and catching your lips with his own in a deep and passionate embrace that had you feeling dizzy at the pure feel of it all. "I was scared you were gonna tell me to fuck off, thought you were using me for my body for a minute there, babe."

You full on laughed, breaking away from his eager lips to let it out, your hands clutching his cheeks and your legs squashing his body atop yours from where they were wrapped around his waist. "You're such a fucker, J." He kissed along your jaw in response, biting down softly. "God, that weed must have been some new level shit."

"Nah," JJ shook his head and grinned. "You just drive me crazy, babygirl." His hands wandered from your ribs higher till his fingertips just slipped under the material of your bikini top. He pressed a further series of tender kisses to your chest, trailing them down and then back up to meet your lips once more. He gazed lovingly at you, looking golden in the sunlight. "I love you too, by the way. Just so y'know."

You grinned softly, catching his bottom lip with your teeth when he began to pull away, pulling a delicious groan from him. "I know," you echoed back to him, lips raising on their own accord to match JJ's almost shy smile at your declaration. "Hey, can we stay home today? Wanna watch the sunset with you later."

JJ snorted, laying one last lingering kiss to your lips before snuggling back into your neck, his eyelashes brushing against your delicate skin. "Whatever you want baby," he chuckled, breath warm. "Whatever you want."

Yours and JJ's (now established, thankfully) relationship only progessed from there; it was in the little things, spending every moment you could get with each other, always touching in some kind of way whether it to be hands curled around one another's, fingers dancing on skin, shoulders and arms brushing, legs squished beside each other. It was all new, and it was all so exciting, and any worries that the two of you may had shared earlier vanished and in their wake came new thoughts of the future, of which you'd spend together.

If the gang had noticed the change, they hadn't mentioned it. Though you already knew Kie suspected something a long time ago, and probably Pope and John B too, due to JJ's little episode at the kegger that time. But you and JJ rejoiced in the unknown, relationship growing stronger each day all the while. You weren't trying to hide it - god forbid, you'd both been waiting so long for it, but you hadn't officially announced you were boyfriend and girlfriend either. There wasn't anything to say, you thought. The relationship came naturally, years of close friendship gradually turning into something more for the pair of you, and you'd both agreed it would be way funnier for the gang to come to their own conclusions and confront you about it themselves. However long that would take them.

The Pogues had driven the HMS Pogue out to the marsh, planning on drinking, swimming and simply hanging out for the day. Sarah had joined you on that particular day, body pressed close to John B's as the group lounged around on the boat, you and JJ wrapped around each other as usual.

His muscular arm was wrapped around your shoulders as you sprawled out close together, your legs thrown over his as your body angled towards his own, head resting on his shoulder. Your hands held the one thrown over you, absentmindedly playing with his ring adorned fingers. His other gripped your knee laying over his, thumb rubbing gentle patterns into the tanned skin there.

Nobody had mentioned your closeness - it was nothing new, the pair of you had always been so close, always touching even before becoming a couple. But Sarah wasn't as close with you as the others, and though she was aware of how close you and JJ were, she wasn't as up to date with everything like everyone else. You'd had no idea that she always just assumed the pair of you were dating, until that day.

"So, you guys are like, a couple right?" She'd asked out of the blue, eyes directed onto you and JJ. Kie suddenly sat up straight, sunglasses raising to rest atop her head rather than on her nose, Pope beside her seemingly taking as much interest, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he listened.

From beside Sarah, John B laughed and shook his head. "Everyone thinks that," he grinned, looking to you and JJ who shared a knowing glance. Sarah looked at him in confusion. "They can't help it though, their sexual tension is through the roof."

Sarah looked even more confused. "Wait, so you guys aren't together?"

JJ cleared his throat, arm tightening around your shoulders. You squeezed his hand as you stared up at him, smiling softly at his uncertain gaze. Once he'd met your eyes, the uncertainty faded away and in its place came a cheeky kind of look, mischievous and so attractive that you had to hold yourself back from kissing him right then and there. You knew it was time to come clean; and you thought it would scare you, your relationship suddenly becoming so real, but the thought only made your insides twist and churn with nothing but excitement.

You looked back at Sarah, who's gaze was still on the pair of you, as well as everyone elses. You noted the almost giddy expression on Kie's face, the barely suppressed curiosity on Pope's, and the suddenly confused one of John B's. You almost laughed, but held it in to say, "Actually, yeah. JJ and I are together."

JJ squeezed you gently as the reactions from your friends began. Kie grinned smugly, Sarah smiled at the two of you, John B raised his eyebrows so high they almost got lost beneath his hat, and Pope slapped his knees before he lurched backwards with his arms raised above his head.

"I knew it, man," Pope shook his head, though a smile was growing on his handsome features. "I knew something's been up with you two."

You laughed as Kie scoffed, "You knew? I had it figured out from the very beginning, I could tell something had changed." She eyed you. "And I was specifically told that nothing was going on, you big fat liar!"

"I'm sorry," you chuckled. "In my defence, when you asked me about it then I actually didn't know if we were like, together together. We hadn't spoken about it yet."

JJ grinned and pulled your body closer, leaning down and pressing a sloppy kiss to the top of your head as your face was mushed into his bare chest. "Yeah, and who can blame her for wanting to keep my Sex God body all to herself?" He asked rhetorically, laughing when you slapped him on the chest with a playful eye roll.

"Wait, so are you a couple now?" John B questioned, puzzled. He looked between the pair of you, your arms wrapped around his waist, one of his still around your shoulder and hand resting between your boobs. The other brushed hair from your face, JJ's gaze loving and soft as he looked down at you before looking back towards his best friend. John B scrunched his face. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't tell anyone man," JJ shrugged carelessly. His fingers had began to play with your hair. "Figured it would be funnier for you guys to find out yourselves," he grinned. "So congratulations, you guys now know. Your reward is the knowledge that we fuck now!"

The gang groaned at his ludicrous words, and you slapped his chest with more force than you had before, just slightly as you scoffed and attempted to raise your head and move position to get a good look at him, but all JJ did was grab your hand and pull it upwards to his lips, kissing each of your knuckles instead.

You rolled as your eyes as you turned back to your friends. "We're sorry about not telling you," you said almost sheepishly. "We only really figured out what this was between us a few days ago, and by that time we just kinda forgot to mention it. This whole thing just kinda happened, we didn't know if it would last or become serious."

"And it has become serious now?" Pope voiced everyone's thoughts, glancing between the two of you. "Like, you're together as a couple. You love each other?"

You and JJ shared a look, the pair of you smiling softly as your hand raised and brushed the blonde strands of hair that fell over his brow, his own reaching up and holding the side of your jaw, his thumb swiping along your cheek lovingly. The others shared glances, unknown to you and JJ as you seemed to be lost inside your own little world for a moment.

When you came to again, you never turned from his eyes, watching the sea blue irises light up at your words; "Yeah, I love him, the fucker."

You heard a collective round of replies, but the feel of JJ's lips on yours for a second forced your attention on him and only him, your hands on his cheeks as you held him there for a full minute before pulling away, leaving a couple more little pecks on his lips. He whispered, "I love you." before he turned his attention to your friends, your smile so bright.

"I thought she'd get bored of me," he revealed unexpectedly. The Pogues (plus Sarah) all looked to him with various expressions of confusion, your own face matching theirs for a moment. JJ felt a smile tug on his lips as your hands massaged his scalp, nails scraping gently against the skin beneath. "But of course she couldn't, I mean I'm the fucking best am I not?"

The gang rolled their eyes as his normal cheeky expression returned, though they all smiled at the pair of you cuddled close together on the seats of the HMS Pogue, realising it was the happiest they'd ever seen the both of you. John B let out a sigh, shaking his head in disbelief. "Well, it's about time anyway."

And just like that, everything went back to normal. You knew they'd have more questions in the future, prepared to answer any and every one of them when they came. But your little group swayed their attention elsewhere sat out on their little boat, laughing and joking at the next topic of conversation, bright eyes and giddy smiles on every face as you drank, swam and sunbathed out there on the marsh. JJ was only looking at you though, skin golden and blue eyes shining. You loved him, you thought. How could he ever think you'd get bored of him, with his charm and quick witted words, sarcastic drawl and tendency to get into trouble, his obsession with weed and putting others before himself always, his beautiful mind and ridiculously good looks to match. He was yours, all yours. And you loved him. JJ grinned. "Are you bored yet?" He asked, just once, loving the sound of your giggle as you shook your head at his antics. "No? Good, because I'm never gonna get bored of you."

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank imagine #jj x reader #outer banks x reader #outer banks x you #outer banks imagine #obx imagine #obx jj #jj obx #jj outer banks #jj one shot #john b routledge #pope heyward #kiara carrera #sarah cameron

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peanut-butter-parkerxx · 3 years

Text

plane pillow

where peter planned to play video games with ned through the whole flight but fate decided to take another turn....

*A/N: this isnt related to far from home nor the ending of endgame, just pretend infinity and all the movies after didnt exist since i imagine pete 16 in here. i dont know why 16 i just like that age on him lmao, enjoy reading!*

pairing: peter x reader

status: strangerz (well sort of since they haven't talked to eachother but they're in the same school)

NOT PROOF READ BTW SO SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES

peter's POV

"the flight will be amazing! i heard they'd installed the new game we were talking about" i gushed to ned, excited for the whole flight to be filled with video games.

"im excited" ned stated practically jumping from excitement and i shook my head laughing

"OK CLASS!" Mr Harrington clapped his hands getting our attention "we're boarding the plane in a few minutes so pack your stuff and lets goooo" he pointed at our gate dramatically.

we walked to the gate, scanned our ticket and sat on our assigned seats, ned and i sat on the three seater, he took the window seat by winning a 3 round match of rock, paper, scissors *sighs angrily* and i obvious got the middle, kinda scared of who'll sit beside me though.

we had to wait for a few minutes, since we boarded the flight early. ned and i obviously started playing video games, too entranced by the small glowing screen infront of me i haven't realized a girl.

she hadn't really acknowledged me either because she looked tired, i cursed at the screen for losing the game too quickly and my dumb ass still didnt realize a GIRL, MY AGE, looking PRETTY FUCKING ADORABLE was sitting next to me. oh dear god.

after a couple more games and me being the most idiotic teenager known today for not looking at my right to see her the flight attendant alerted us that the plane will take off so we the screen will freeze any moment. ned and i decided to sleep, it was very early in the morning and we need to rest if we plan on gaming most of the flight.

i closed my eyes and shifted a bit in my seat, and slept. the plain was moving at the time trying to find the best place to take off. i guess i was really tired that i havent felt someone sleeping on my shoulder.

i was peacefully sleeping still agitated from the uncomfortable seat but i heard a loud noise that frightened the life out of me and due to my spidey senses i sensed a hand on my right, so what did i do? i fucking held the hand. hard, may i add, from the fright.

i opened my eyes quickly and jumped a bit, turning around to see who's the stranger that i held hands with, startled as well. i sighed in relief knowing our plane was safe and it was just about to take off. but then i took a good look on the perso- her, took a good look on her, on her? OH MY GOD ITS A GIRL calm down peter and please dont scare her off. i couldnt stop looking at her and to my luck she was looking at me as well, but none of us spoke

i couldnt help but notice the small part of her y/h/c hair that was shown from her hood looked so shiny and smooth, her eyes were the most perfect shade of y/e/c. the extremely large hoodie looked so comfortable on her which made me think of her wearing one of mine, how big and long it'll look on her body sent butterflies to my stomach. she looked small, and precious so fragile yet she held her body confidently.

the voice of the flight attendant echoed through the speakers which made us both stop our trance of one another. even though the lady's voice wasnt scary it still frightened us. i mean no hate towards miss attendant she called me a cutie and gave me extra blankets

but coz we got startled again we held hands....again looking for the sources of the noise. we visibly relaxed once we realized what it was, looked at eachother and laughed, her laugh was angelic and soft, hands down the best sound ive ever head. she looked rather embarrassed from the encounter but i bet you a thousand dollars i look worse, i could practically feel the blood rush through my cheeks once she realized how long ive stared at her

"i- uhm i-im so sorry for sleeping on your shoulder, and- and holding your hand and stuff" she apologized, it only made me even more baffled by her. how could a voice match with a face so perfectly.

"no no its fine uhh i dont mind *nervous laugh* and for the hand thing i was the one who grabbed yours so i-i should be the one apologizing...im sorry" i rubbed the back of my neck. this is why i dont talk to girls, ever. well mj is an exception since shes like the closest thing i have to a friend other than my best friend obviously.

"i-im y/n, by the way" she lifted her hand properly introducing herself

"peter, peter parker" i shook her hand, it was nice feeling the warmth of her hand again. we probably held hands (for the third time today by the way) longer the we should have but who am i to say i was bothered. i definitely wasnt.

"nice to meet you peter" she smiled shaking our hands one last time then sitting it on her lap. scratch what i said about her gorgeous laugh, hearing her say my name was the best thing ive heard in my 16 year of existence. (her laugh is obviously the second best)

before i could ask anything else, the plane decided to finally take off. i adjusted myself to the seat, not turning to my right side anymore and closed my eyes trying to think of smiling puppies. ive been on a plane before, in fact a private one last year but that was it. this is my second time flying away from new york and i was a bit nervous.

y/n somehow noticed my sudden tense form, who am i kidding i looked like i was about to die coz of my nerves. and held my hand. and i immediately opened my eyes again, the feeling of her skin coming in contact with mine brought chills down my spine, good ones obviously

"you looked rather tense, is this ok?" she leaned into my ear so i could hear her. i looked at her confused on why she would want to help me but nodded as a reply. a smile crept on my face and i couldnt seem to take it off. the take off went smoothly thank god. and ive occasionally squeezed her hand, usually when the plane made very loud sounds. but i made it! woohoo

i didnt know if i should stop holding her hand or not, even though i didnt want to. will she think im a creep? and if i did, will she think im rude? but i guess it didnt seem to bother her if she went back to sleeping. so i figured i should do the same

i shifted in my seat a couple of times trying to get the perfect comfy spot....nothing. this seat will be the death of m-

"you can sleep on my shoulder if you want" she whispered. "i figured since you let me sleep on yours which im very sorry about, you could sleep on mine" she smiled

"thanks, but i dont wanna bother you or make you uncomfortable"

"oh nonsense! my body is screaming right now cheering for me, well partially scolding at me for saying something risky like that to a good looking guy, its ok" she laughed, her eyes widened in shock from what she confessed. i smiled at her and rested my head on her shoulder

"you think im good looking?" i whispered playing with our fingers, i dont know when i got the sudden confidence but hearing someone like her think a loser like me is cute did something to me.

"shut up" she playfully shoved me and i laughed.

"are you from midtown?" i asked her

"no im from queens" she joked

"oh you're definitely from midtown" i chuckled, next thing i know i was having a normal conversation with me laying my head on a girl i just met like we knew eachother for years, it was nice to talk to a girl i potentially thought was cute instead of talking gibberish

she was very understanding and looked like interested into what i was saying, i was gonna skip my geeky side when she asked about what i like but to my surprise, she mentioned it when i asked her the same, she said she loves comics and likes watching sci fi movies. i asked her if she watched star wars and she said she didnt...yet.

"wanna uhm watch it together?" i played with her fingers absentmindedly nervous if she'd reject me.

"yeah sure" her eyes lit up like she was waiting for me to ask her that. we watched the movie in bliss, thankfully she liked it! and immediately said to put the second one. and surprise surprise, we finished it.

when the credits rolled in, i saw her yawning, shifting in her seat again, i decided to be bold so i lifted her head off my shoulder pulled the arm rest away from us, took a pillow and patted my lap. immediately after doing it i regretted it, she barely knows me, what the fuck peter.

"you sure?" she asked smiling a bit, she looked like she felt something giddy inside which made me feel at peace again and i nodded.

"good night" she whispered snuggling her head on my lap, i hesitantly put my arm over

"good night, y/n" and we fell asleep like how ned slept the whooole time i was talking to her, wow we have a lot to catch up on

bonus:

peters pov

i didnt know the whole plane (our class) practically gushed over my interaction with y/n, i know its been a while since i liked a girl but betty and the rest (including Mr Harrington) practically begged mj to take photos of us since she was the closest, not that she wouldnt have done it without them asking her....

*A/N: idk what this bonus was lmao but i had to add the school feeling happy for our boy pete*

have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

-quacksonlover

#spiderman #peter parker x fem #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker fluff #ned leeds #may parker #aunt may #the avengers #mcu #michelle jones #marvel #sony pictures #imagines #peter parker x reader #fluff #peter #parker #avengers

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avenger-hawk · 3 years

Note

I've seen a lot of people who aren't fond of Itachi say something to the tune of 'Itachi's reveal made no sense because it contradicts his actions in part 1 too much'

For the most part, I disagree, I think almost all of Itachi's actions are perfectly understandable, no matter how cruel or extreme, from his point of view. In the lens of him trying to protect both Konoha and Sasuke, his extreme measures make sense, he's in an extreme situation and acts accordingly.

But there's always been one thing that I hadn't been able to reconcile for a while that I still thought was odd, and that was Itachi telling Sasuke that he needed to kill his best friend to become as strong as him. For me, that didn't make sense since we know Itachi wanted Sasuke to keep his bonds in Konoha to return there as a hero and live a happy life, and killing his best friend to follow Itachi's path would be very likely to destroy those bonds.

But then the thought occurred to me. What if Itachi saying that was a deliberate manipulation on his part? By telling Sasuke about that aspect of the Mangekyo and portraying it as the only way Sasuke could become stronger than him, Itachi was playing on Sasuke's intense desire to surpass Itachi. Presenting it as the only avenue forward in order to tilt Sasuke towards seeking out his own ways of becoming stronger in defiance of Itachi. As to why Itachi even told him about that aspect of the mangekyo to begin with, Itachi has already concerned himself about what information Sasuke receives and who he hears it from. If Itachi hadn't told him about the mangekyo, there was a possibility Sasuke could have learned it himself in some other manner, and independently come to the conclusion that he must kill his best friend to become stronger, which Itachi needed to steer him away from.

And hey, if this was indeed Itachi's intention, it worked! Sasuke absolutely did not kill Naruto and indeed sought out his own ways to surpass Itachi (even if he ended up leaving the village to do so, which Itachi didn't want).

Sorry if this topic is old news to you, it's something I'm happy to have finally hashed out in my head and I just wanted to put it into words and I wanted to know if you thought there was any basis to it.

I can’t imagine what kishi really meant for Itachi in the very beginning, my opinion is that he/the staff had a vague idea of him not only being the reason behind Sasuke’s trauma, personality and motives, but also him being a mysterious character that might have had a secret, that he hadn’t flashed out completely back then and that he developed later. I have this opinion because idk if in the volumes or elsewhere (so I can’t find the source) I read that he took Gaara’s name from some city souvenir (???) and he came up with some other character names in a quite simplistic/random way. Ofc it’s 2 different things to name some characters in a story with many of them, and to come up with a cool backstory, but still.

I’m not idealistic in this because kishi disappointed me too much with the ending and the new shit, so I realized that too often fans tend to see more into every detail of a story because they love it very much and they love its characters, while the author ofc loves it (or the money that comes with it) but has different priorities, like deadlines, like structuring chapters in a way to stimulate readers' interest and curiosity.

This, to me, is the case of Itachi telling Sasuke to kill N*ruto to obtain MS. Ofc it might be like you said, part of his plan, telling Sasuke to do something horrible so that he’d sound even more cruel, and so that Sasuke would be so horrified that he’d find his own path, but on the other hand it was a hazard...because what if Sasuke’s need for revenge was stronger than his love for his best friend? And like you said, what if killing his best friend would have been seen as a crime by the village Itachi himself wanted Sasuke to stay in so much? Because a shinobi can’t just kill a comrade, it would have been a crime, even worse than deserting the village and joining Orochimaru in pt 1.

Itachi should have been 100% sure that this part of the plan worked, it’s a bit too risky imo, especially considering that what we know of Itachi’s plan is that he wanted Sasuke to focus on revenge to have a purpose, to stay in Konoha, be a shinobi there and kill him when he was strong enough. We know that his plan didn’t envision Sasuke leaving and joining Orochimaru, but that happened because they met in the inn and Itachi was forced to beat and humiliate his brother, which led to him feeling weak and powerless, so much that he had to seek strength outside the village, like Orochimaru wanted.

Still, this part of Itachi’s plan, despite having failed, makes more sense than the killing N*ruto part.

So to me it sounds like a plot hole, an inconsistency in kishi's writing, something he wrote to show how cruel villain Itachi was, and to show how in comparison Sasuke was different, despite betraying N*ruto and the village, but still being good in his heart, not being able to kill his best friend even though it would have granted him a greater power.

#I'm sure this is going to be 'unpopular'#the kind of thing that will might make you write the same ask to some other Sasuke blog #lol sorry #but ok #vivalarevolution #vivalarevolution: in his defense

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c-grace · 3 years

Text

Since there are loads of [unnecessary] opinions on how Aloy looks, which I, frankly have nothing to complain about. I still believe she is very beautiful and her looks makes sense, not to mention the original model is stunning.

So lemme just take some time to write out this scenario I thought of that I found very cute and emotional, idk 'bout everyone else but it did make me cry when I thought of it.

_______________________________________

POV: You and Aloy are both outsiders, but you were cast out from being a "defect", the both of you only got to know each other during the last few years before the proving.

A little something I wanna mention, this is sorta a Y/N fanfic but without the Y/N, so wherever you feel like you need to add your name in the dialogue, you can do that but I did it so that there would be no need for the name. I hope you enjoy~

T.W: Slight mention of death and injury.

Aloy × F.reader/G.N

Also this has song lyrics in here, if that's not to your taste, I'm sorry but I couldn't think of anything else

__________________________________

"Oh! I found something!"

"What? What did you find?"

"Tada! Another audio file!"

I lifted the device and showed it to Aloy and waved it with satisfaction. "And here I thought you found something useful." Aloy grumbled.

"It's important to me, you know how I love to study the old ones' musical pieces, especially the singing, they all sound.....I don't even have words to describe them." I held tightly onto the device. Using Aloy's focus I scanned the device and played the audio, and without a doubt, it was a musical piece.

"You sure love music, huh?" Aloy smiled and eyed me for a moment, "Yes, all the pieces from the metal world have a certain, essence to them, it feels like it's calling out to me." But that joy was cut short once I remembered of the proving.

"But then, with the proving coming along, the matriarchs might not let me visit any ruins and I won't be able to study them anymore." I huffed and kicked a rock away.

"Who cares? I'll take you to see more of the ruins, they didn't care for us for so long. What is it to them that we see who the old ones really were?" Aloy never understood, nor took high regard to any of the tribal laws and I do agree with her but I have no one other than her to accompany me to explore all these new wonders.

I believe Aloy can do whatever it is that she wants, no one, not even the matriarchs will be able to stop her from going to where she wishes to go. I only have her and if she were to be cast out once again just because of me, I don't think I would like that all that much.

"Thank you Aloy, oh that reminds me, I learned this song, I want you to hear it."

"Can't wait to hear it then. I can't believe it's tomorrow, how are you taking to it?" She looked at me worried and I could get where it was coming from. I get anxious quite often, taking down a watcher, without any preparation, will make me sick to the stomach. "Yeah, I've given myself a 'pep-talk and I think it's working, I don't feel too worried about it now."

"Thats good, alright, I think it's time we leave, Rost said he needs to meet with me." She stretched her hand over to me and I held on firmly, it was calloused yet warm, I felt safe by her side.

The both of us went on our ways and I made it back to the little tent that I called my study and home, I have journaled all the music I have found and dated every one of them. So far, I have recorded 12, 5 of which were addressed to someone else, it was as though they had sung while they mourned for them, wishing they could be with them and the rest were of random order but interesting nonetheless.

I set the recordings aside and tried to make myself fall asleep, the proving was not too far from now. I didn't train my whole life for it but rather, I just wanted to belong somewhere. Aloy is.....different, to her, the tribe means nothing but a means to know more of the world, she said it herself, she wishes to know why she was cast out and never once thought of the tribe in good light.

I had no sense of conflict in me, unlike Aloy, I liked to keep to myself and I ran away at the sight of the tribe members because I was afraid. I was afraid of how they would treat me but that sense of fear became a threat to me.

I learnt how to live on my own, I knew why it was that I was an outcast. My parents didn't want me, said that I would often act strange and I never understood why, till one day the matriarchs marked me an outcast and left me on my own. It was a little over 3 or 4 years ago, where I met Aloy, we grew close.

I never told Aloy, why I was cast away, I didn't want her to be burdened. I kept to myself but this time, with these songs I wanna let her know, all these withheld emotions are making me feel like I could rot from the inside. I am in a way excited for the proving.

_______________________________________

"Aloy! Watch out!"

'I didn't think it would come to this, no, please, stop this.'

"Stay where you are, I'll come to you, alright?!" She shouted but the sound of blasts had muffled all the sound around me. The proving was going well, with Aloy and I being named braves but the celebration was cut short when all of a sudden, intruders had marched in and openly attacked everyone on sight.

"Kill all of them, don't let anyone of them come out alive!" The invaders sounded.

I frantically grabbed my arrows and shot at a few of them, two had missed and the rest 4 had all landed a hit, killing them on contact.

"We can't hold them!"

Aloy had been covering for all the braves and took a stand at holding them down, I decided to let myself all out and help Aloy and guided the remaining to the exit but not many made it.

"I'll hold them down, go! Make it to the slip-wire! Vala! You go too, I'll cover!" I directed all of them, Vala looked reluctant but went on ahead. "There's more of them!" I heard Bast shout and I whipped my head and shot my arrows, this time, all of them landed.

Vala and Bast had got caught between the shots, I watched their bodies hit the floor and a look of dread had washed over Aloy but I could feel the anger that brewed within. She shot them down, all of them.

But it wasn't long before a man had grabbed her by the neck, and something in me snapped, all I saw was that Aloy was in danger. My body moved on its own and I had grabbed my dagger and drove it into the man's side, he screamed but he lifted his arm and thrust it to my gut, sending me straight to the ground.

Before I had lost my senses, I caught a glance at Aloy who had laid on the ground, at least, no longer choked by that man.

_________________________________________

"A-Aloy! You're awake! You're awake...Aloy..." It hadn't been too long since the attack but my injuries are far from okay but at that moment, all that mattered to me now was Aloy. She awoke but her face was pale and her breath, uneasy.

"No, no, no......ugh, I—I have to get out of here..." She clutched on to the side of her head. "Aloy, I'll gather your armour and Focus, just wait here, I'll co—"

She grabbed onto my hand locked her fingers around mine, her hands were shivering. "Aloy?"

"You're alive, I...I thought I lost you..too...." She whimpered, I crouched down and held on to her hands softly, "You can't take me out that easy." Slowly caressing the side of her face, I smiled meekly.

"Rost...he saved me...but."

"He didn't make it Aloy. I don't know what happened either, you'll have to talk to Teersa."

"Where are we?" Her feeble voice asked, "We're inside the sacred mountain, I'm not sure why, I was nursed outside the mountain, they didn't say much when I asked if I could see you." She nodded and slouched down. I went on ahead and brought in her focus, there was another focus with it but I just handed them all to her without questions.

I quietly left the mountains and waited outside for Aloy. It took a while but she came out with Teersa.

The two walked to the rest of the matriarchs, they were talking amongst themselves and it was then I heard that Aloy had been bestowed the mark of a seeker, Lansra did not take to highly of this decision and made some unwanted remarks to Aloy.

I glared at her, hoping that it would do something but she huffed and grunted, walking on just fine.

The rain had poured on harder with time, it felt like it was meant to weep but was choking instead, an odd feeling but that was how I had felt.

"Aloy, of the Nora? Or would you rather prefer, Aloy, a seeker from the Nora?" I tried to put a little lightness to the heavy air around. "I don't think I like either of them." She made a face at my names.

"Alright, then....Aha! Aloy.....despite the Nora?"

"That sounds better." She smiles wide. "Listen...I need to go, I need to find out who those killers were and why they came here, which means that I need to leave the sacred lands." Her smile drops and she looks at me apologetically.

"No no, you have more to worry about than me, it's alright, I can hold my own." I reassured her but her look of response was doubting all of it.

"Aloy, go, I know how much this means to you. I would only be a burden if you were to worry about me. I want you to go out of this place, I know you've always been curious about the lands beyond." There was so much I that I wanted to convey.

So much that I wanted to ask but I pinched myself to not do that.

"Before I go, I wanted to hear that song you wanted to let me listen to, at least let me hold on to that." She pleaded and held on to my clothes. "I-I don't know Aloy, right now, if I did that, I would appear more—"

"Here, you can just record it on my focus."

She removed her focus and placed it in my palm, I looked at the device and glanced back at her. I heaved a sigh and excused myself from the area.

'Am I seriously doing this now? Yes, c'mon me! You can do this!'

There goes my heart beating

'Cause you are the reason

I'm losing my sleep

Please come back now

There goes my mind racing

And you are the reason

That I'm still breathing

I'm hopeless now

I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken

Oh, 'cause I need you to see

That you are the reason

I started to cry at thought of having to let go of Aloy, she would be far off and I would be here, possibly just waiting. I wouldn't have the slightest clue where she would be, but I would hold strong, not only for her but for myself.

I won't have any more music files for me to explore so this was the last of all of them. Before I stopped recording, I quietly whispered, "I...I...love you, I love you Aloy and I hope you will be safe. I may or may not be here when you come back but if it weren't for you giving me a reason to be here, I would have never bothered going on with that life I had..."

"And I would have lost myself if it weren't for you."

At the familiar voice, that was none other than Aloy's, I had lost all reason and the shock had gotten me wailing silently.

"I'll be back, you are all that I look forward to when I return." She grabbed my face and pressed our foreheads together. "You sang well, I didn't know I meant that...much to you..." She whispered.

"You are the reason I'm even here. Come back safe, Aloy-despite the Nora." I clutched on to her clothes.

She placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and went on her way, she didn't turn back and I looked at her back, fading off.

'I'll be here, Aloy.....my Aloy.'

•END•

____________________________________

Alright! Phew, that was done. I have never written a one-shot ever, I don't even know the word count cause I was just writing without thinking too much.

Anyway, it was more emotional in my head so I did cry a little but it's pretty meh on paper 😂

Aight, this distracted me from all the bs of the world, I hope it distracted some of y'all too.

#hzd forbidden west #aloy #hzd aloy #aloy ×#aloy × reader #i dont know what im doing #hzd #aloy despite the nora #aloy fan fic #aloy one shot #hzd fanfic #hzd oneshot #this just came to me in the shower and i was just singing you are the reason #and i thought of this #fanfic #horizon zero dawn #horizon zero dawn aloy

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absideon-ephemeral · 3 years

Text

II - Roommates, Commanders, and Generals.

A/N: And they were roommates - I'm sorry. The next chapter will be a lot more interesting as we finally get into the plot. And just as a heads up, THERE WILL BE NO SMUT AT ALL. Idk how to write it and I don't want to make a complete fool of myself if I do so. If I ever learn I may add some.

Warnings: mild language, curse words.

METANOIA Masterlist

——————————

Who knew a ship could be so damn big.

I had walked and walked, following the map on my datapad to my quarters, which seemed to be on the other side of the ship. It was nearly midnight and I still hadn't reached it.

During the entire walk, I couldn't get the strange encounter with Kylo Ren out of my head. Why had he just stared at me? What was that prickling sensation? My mind was going so fast, asking so many questions, that I almost ran into a wall. I had stopped myself just short a couple of inches from slamming right into it. I stood there, recollecting myself, as a quiet, minuscule beeping came from my datapad.

Looking down, the beeping was signifying that I had reached my destination. In front of me were my quarters and not some random wall.

"For kriffs sake, finally," I muttered.

I shut off my pad and went to reach for the control panel next to me, but I stopped myself from hitting the door button. Are my roommates already inside? What if they're already asleep? I don't want to get on their bad side, who knows how long I'll be rooming with them.

"Hey!"

My head whips to the side to be met with a stormtrooper.

"What are you doing here?" They asked. From the sounds of it, the stormtrooper was female.

"I asked you a question."

"I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be rooming here." My words flew out fast and uneasy.

"Whose orders?" The stormtrooper asked.

"Head technician Ademir. He said that there were no available rooms in the technicians' quarters and that this was the first available spot," I explained.

The stormtrooper made a noise of understanding and hit the door button on the panel. It slid open with a slight whoosh and was pitch black inside. The stormtrooper went in, turning the lights on in the process. I stood there, awkwardly, almost waiting for an invitation.

"Well, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come in?" The stormtrooper said.

"Uh, yeah right." I hurriedly walked in, the door closing behind me.

The room was semi spacious. It had two dressers, three beds, each with its small nightstand; a refresher, and a window that outlooked the galaxy.

I made my way further in and sat on the bed that looked unoccupied. I sat rather stiffly as the stormtrooper began to take off her armor.

Her helmet came off first, revealing dark skin, that almost seemed to have a honey glow to it, brown eyes, and a pretty face.

"So what's your name little technician?" She asked. Without the helmet on, I could hear an accent that was unfamiliar to me. I gave her my name and asked for hers.

"LN-7245." She answered as she continued to undress.

"LN-72- okay, that's a lot to call you by. Do you have a nickname or something I can use?" I asked.

She momentarily stopped her movements. "No. All we ever go by is our numbers." She then resumed, sitting down on the bed to take off her shin armor.

"Well, what about," I pondered for a second, "Leonora or Leo for short." She looked up at me.

"Leonora," she tested the name on her tongue, "I like it. Sounds nice. Where'd you come up with that?"

" Your number started with LN. I just took it from there and made something out of it that sounded pretty."

"Well, thank you for that." Leonora stood up, grabbed a case from under her bed, and began to pack away her armor for tomorrow.

When she finished, she grabbed some clothes, presumably sleep ones, out of the drawer on her nightstand. Before walking away to the refresher to change, she turned to the bed farthest away from me and smacked the person, who I honestly didn't even see, that was lying in it. They awoke with a start, cursing in Durese, a language known by space travelers.

"Why would you do that? I was sleeping so nicely!" They groaned. It was another female. This one had blond hair with brown streaks, blue eyes, and a pretty face as well.

"We have a new roommate. Be nice." Leonora smacked her again with her clothes and went to the refresher to change.

The girl grumbled something then turned to me, leaning back on her elbows, her head cocked to the side.

"So, what's your name?" She asked. I gave it to her. She peered at me curiously.

"You don't look like a stormtrooper." She pointed out.

I laughed. "What gave that away?"

She looked me up and down, "You don't have the body of a stormtrooper. And the way you seem to carry yourself, I'd assume you're a technician."

"Right you are." She laughed.

"I'm ZA-7283."

"Nice to meet you. Can I give you a nickname?" I asked.

"Nickname?" She asked. Leonora walked out of the refresher, dressed in comfy, all-black, nightclothes.

"She gave me one," Leo laid down on her cot, putting hands behind her head, "I'm Leonora, Leo for short." She had an air of pride around her.

The other girl gasped. "That sounds so cool! I want one too!"

"Okay, um, how about Zariah?" I suggested.

"Ooo, I like that. Makes me sound badass!" Zariah exclaimed. Leo and I laughed at her enthusiasm.

After we all calmed down, Zariah asked me a question.

"So why did they put a technician with two stormtroopers?"

I told her the same thing I told Leo.

"Ahhh okay. Well, at least you got two roommates who aren't sticks in the mud. That would've sucked." Zariah laid back down. I nodded in agreement.

—————————

"Shit, shit, shit, shit."

I hoped to maker that there were no higher-up officials around, because if so, I would've most likely faced punishment. I was currently running through the halls like a mad man with my jumpsuit half on and struggling to carry my small tool bag.

I had completely forgotten to set an alarm last night, causing me to wake up 20 minutes late, which is by no means acceptable. Leo and Zari left way before me, as troopers have to get up earlier than the techs, and they didn't even bother to wake me up.

So now I had to resort to dashing my way through the metal halls, weaving in and out of other technicians and stormtroopers. As I slid around a corner, I suddenly ran straight into something. The force I hit it with was enough to send me sprawling backward onto the cold metal floor. I groaned in slight pain and made an effort to sit up. Regaining my bearings, my sight is immediately met with black boots.

My blood ran cold.

Trailing my eyes up, all I see is black. Black pants, a black shirt, a black cloak, and a black helmet.

The prickling sensation returns. This time it's sifting through my mind, weaving in and out of the crevices.

Kylo Ren.

I scramble to my feet as quickly as possible and bring my arm into a salute. Once again, the black soulless eyes of his mask stare into the very depths of me.

"Please forgive me, Commander, sir!" The wavering words flew out. He said nothing, and I feared that he would whip out his lightsaber and end me right then and there. But he simply stared for a few more moments then briskly walked away, the prickling fading with him.

I watched as he left, not dropping my salute until he disappeared completely and I could no longer hear his boots on the metal floor.

When I had deemed it safe, I dropped my arm and breathed a sigh of relief. Gathering myself together, zipping up my uniform properly, and grabbing my bag, I made my way to my task for the day.

I was assigned to fix some damage in a meeting room, presumably caused by Kylo Ren during a meeting that had gone sour.

But when I walked through the doors metal blast doors, I couldn't help but curse.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

In front of me was one of the biggest messes I have ever seen. The poor innocent wallhad been slashed many times by a burning saber, leaving deep jagged lines. They crossed and weaved in and out of one another, forming some type of chaotic artwork. No matter the strange beauty, this was going to be a pain to fix.

Setting my bag down, I went closer to inspect the damage. The wiring underneath it had been damaged severely. Some areas are worse than others, but half of the underneath panels would need to be replaced.

Looking away from the wall, I took notice of a larger bag of tools and a welding cart set off of the side; free for me to use. I walk over to the bag, open it, and grab my first piece.

——————

Four hours and counting. That's how long I've been fixing this mess. And I haven't even gotten to re-welding the slashes yet.

For the last hour, I've been working in a tight space. Literally.

To fix some of the wires in one of the deeper slashes, I had to go inside the wall. It required me to remove the vent cover, which resided right below the slash near the floor, and crawl inside; upside down. It took me several tries and having to unzip my jumpsuit halfway, revealing my black under tank, and tie the sleeves around my waist to finally weasel in. My back was flat against the air vent as I worked and I could hardly hear anything. Honestly, it was a miracle I even fit. After removing the air duct lining, I was able to finally access the wires.

Which leads me up to now. I was in the process of attaching one of my last wires, peacefully working and oblivious to the outside world, when something unexpectedly nudged my foot.

The sensation made me jolt up, my head slamming into the roof of the duct.

"Kriff!" The word escaped as pain now radiated through my head. My foot was nudged again. "One moment please!" I shouted. I began to weasel my way back out, having slight difficulty due to not being able to see much.

Once I finally got my head and arms out, I sat on the ground, blinking my eyes to adjust to the harsh lighting, having been in a dark vent for the last hour.

"Did you hear me?"

My head whipped up, and I was met with someone you hoped to never meet; the infamous, General Hux.

I stood immediately, getting a slight head rush from the fast movement, and saluted. "General Hux, sir." I addressed him.

He looked at me with distaste; not pleased to see me without my uniform on properly. But there was no going back now. He looked me up and down, a frown forming on his face. He was just like I've heard him to be. Short, red-haired, and a not-so-pleasing face that was always screwed up in a face of displeasure.

He huffed and spoke again. "Did you hear me at all?" His voice was snobby and pitched.

"No sir, I couldn't hear anything in there." I curtly replied, taking notice of the men behind him. Other Generals and officers, I had never seen, but by the way they presented themselves, they were important.

"Well, I had asked what you are doing in here. This is a restricted area to those without permission." He sneered, obviously not liking me.

"I was tasked to fix this damage, sir. Some of the wirings needed to be replaced but I could only access it through the vent, sir." I remained still, keeping my salute.

"On whose orders?"

"Head technician Ademir, sir. I have the assignment on my data-pad if you wish to see, sir."

"That won't be necessary. Do you have any other tasks to do?" He was growing frustrated at my presence.

"No sir, I don't. This is my only one due to how much work it requires." I answered. He huffed and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the blast doors opening, and someone walking in. My view was blocked by the other men, but General Hux rolled his eyes, already knowing who had entered.

"Ah, Commander, how pleasant of you to join us."

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader

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erismerald · 4 years

Text

MY NEW ROAD - Chapter 1

» Older Daniel Diaz x reader

» Warnings: mature, romance, blood, gang

Chapter 2

» So i was hoping i could read something about daniel diaz, at the end of 5 ep, and as i was sick of waiting, so i decided to write a long short about older daniel diaz, so let's go :)

And there I was, in this moment i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep.

*A FEW HOURS EARLIER*

So HI!! My name is y/n, im 17 and right now I'm living on my own in Mexico, more property in puerto lobos.

I'm a very simple girl, I grew up in LA with my grandparents, I never met my parents, and during my life, my grandparents never told me about their daughter, they just told me that she had abandoned me when I was Little, and as for my father, they didn't know who she was, so I never really cared about that.

I've been living here for about six weeks,I study in a small americam school, near here. I'm loving living here I never thought, that a dream I had since I was little would come true so soon, I decided to live here, because I love Mexican culture and not to mention that living by the beach never tires anyone, and I still have the privilege of seeing the sunset disappear into the waves...

Since I was a child I was very shy and I don't know how to express myself to others anht this is the reason why I've not be able to make friends in this new school yet, I feel ashamed when they look at me or try to talk to me, it's complicated, however, I've always managed to make some friends in LA, people I talk to almost every single day.

it's already 7 am i think i should be preparing for school but i think laziness has won ahaha, I got up and tried to take as little time as possible, I don't want to be late again or Ms. Lopez will kick me out of her class again.

I was new to that school and it wasn't the first time I was late, which I can say I love sleeping, but I have to work harder to make sure that doesn't happen, and I'm going to start right now haha.

I tried to take as little time as possible, of course that for me it's kind of impossible, because, I still had to take a shower before going, but I think at least I won't be late this time, I look at the clock and OMG is already 7:50 and the classes start at 8:00, ahhhhh how will I get to school in 10... Afff so much effort for nothing, well at least I can still get to the beginning of the first class.

On the way to school, I saw him again... I think his name is Daniel, he's from my class but I never talked to him before, and to be honest, I never had the courage to talk to him, well... not only with him, I think with everyone in general, so far I haven't made any friends, except the lady from the apartment next door, and we only talk on Sundays, because we have the same way when we go to church.

I think I've been looking at him too long... why do I say that? He's looking at me right now. I can't deny it he's beautiful... he's so mysterious, but from what I've seen of him, at school he's very fun, reserved, but fun.

I felt him staring at me, which made me completely ashamed, and my only option for not having to talk to him was to hit him and not, to look at him as I passed by, even with my back to him his gaze managed to make me feel a huge chill, but it's a good thing that I'm already arriving at school.

For real I didn't know what to tell him anyways.

When i arrived at school i came across Ms.Lopez on the way. And I think it was at this moment that I realized I was completely fucked up, I tried to go unnoticed, but without success.

And when I turned back I only saw her ferocious gaze directed at me.

"Miss l/n shouldn't be in class already. Preferably sitting at your desk waiting for me." - she looked at me with a deadly look on her face

"oh I finally find you y/n, thx for waiting for me, and here you have your Spanish book that you lent me." He looked at me and winked at me, so that I could continue with the theater.

"O-of course I do, Daniel, there's nothing to be thankful for" he stands next to me and takes my hand. And he gave me the book, I felt my heart go off a thousand an hour...When I lifted my face I saw his eyes glued on me, why did he protect me?

"Is that why you were late?" She looked at me and then at Daniel, I felt the anger in her eyes

"yes i decided to wait for daniel" i smiled at her, and i felt daniel put himself behind me

"Vamos, no te enojes con ella, maestra. Sólo fue esta vez (Come on, don't get mad at her, teacher. It was just this time .)" Daniel grabbed my shoulders and spoke, I saw Ms. Lopez calm her eyes and take a deep breath.

"Hum being so, i let you pass your delay this time you two have 5 minutes to introduce you in my class, and miss L/N thank the boy Daniel for helping her " his voice was calm now but his words were cold.

She continued on her way to the classroom, and I hear Daniel laughed

"You're welcome!" daniel said as my body moved, his voice was now hoarse, I sounded hypnotized by the voice of him.

"T-thank you for helping me." I tried to be short and quick in my answer. I was so nervous and idk why.

"let's go to class before Ms. Lopez decides to murder us, because we're late" daniel just went on her way but stopped 3 steps ahead of me.

"will have to pull you?" he laughs softly and throws a half smile, my heart, jumped a beat when i saw that smile.

"Y-yes" I just followed him.... When we arrived in the room each one sat in his seat, but for some reason, Daniel kept looking at me and it made me nervous for the rest of the time.

During the rest of the day, everything went as usual, except for the failed attempt by me to escape Daniel's gaze, I don't know what he was looking for in me, but I think I managed to make him lose interest for a while. I think.

When I finally rang the exit bell, I was the first to leave for the first time, I didn't want to know anything else, I just wanted to get home and enjoy being alone.

When I walked through the school gate, I took a deep breath and tried to rearrange my ideas, how can something as simple as talking to a person make me so nervous?

I'll speed up the walk and look at the sky and then at the sea at the end of the street to calm myself down. I didn't understand what was going on this day but I just asked it to end quickly. Yeah, to tell you the truth, I've never had a boy look at me for so long, am I getting a crush on him? AHHHHH well I hope not.

When I was almost at home, I felt a chill on my back and soon I could be able to realized what was happening....

"Are you trying to avoid me?" Not that voice, not again.

I turned slowly and there he was, did he follow me? When I looked at him I felt my face boiling with shame.

"Did the Cat eat your tongue?" he looked at me and laughed, and began to approach me.

I tried to ignore to not have to answer, I really suffered from many anxiety problems and did not know what to do in these situations.

"okay i got you, you don't want to talk to me don't worry" he looked at the floor and his cheerful expression went to sadness

"well see you tomorrow at school" when he was going to turn around and continue on his way i screamed

"WAIT"

He turned to me and smiled... OH God that smile was so sweet

"I thought you weren't gonna answer ahaha."

"I'm not ignoring you, or avoiding you...I'm just too shy to talk" I couldn't face his eyes so I just looked at the ground.

"Are you sure? I didn't want to get into it with Ms Lopez, but I knew if I didn't, she'd kick you out of her class" when I looked up I came across the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

It made me blush, involuntarily, I didn't know what to say.

"thank you...and it's okay, I'd be kicked out if it wasn't for you too, so thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome, I've always seen you being very shy with everyone and you don't seem to be the kind of person who would be late on purpose, well, I won't take up your time. See you tomorrow"

he said with a perverse smile on his face

"Oh and if tomorrow you want company for the school I can wait here for you".

I didn't have time to say anything else I just agreed and entered the building.

When I got home I lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling, trying to see what had happened, I didn't notice it, but I felt my body tired and ended up falling asleep.

"Daniel... Something about him attracted me...'

I opened my eyes very slowly, I looked at the window and it was already dark, I picked up my phone and turned it on, I had 5 unanswered calls from my grandmother, this was strange she didn't call me so often

I dialed her number and called...

"y/n honey is you?"

"yes Grandma, what's going on? I'm sorry I was so tired that I fell asleep and didn't hear you call".

Without telling me anything else she felt like she was crying, but what happened to make my grandmother cry she hardly ever does, and when I say that she doesn't, it's because it's rare.

"Honey, I have something to tell you... Your mother is looking for you," those words left me unanswered, my mother?

No...

Couldn't be, my mother abandoned me 16 years ago, for me she died... I started crying, that person who abandoned me 16 years ago, now its looking for me why? I had so many questions in my mind, I couldn't talk to anybody, I just need some time.

"honey are there? Y/n?" My grandmother called me...

"I'm sorry Grandma, I need to think a little, I'll call you later."

"darling no-" i hung up on her, i don't like to do this but i need time to process

I got up, grabbed my jacket and went out towards the beachWhen I got there I sat down on the sand, and watched the sea, and the waves coming at me, I didn't want to believe that my mother was looking for me, if she hadn't wanted me in 16 years, she wouldn't want me now.... Now I did not even want her back

At that moment I felt that I was not alone there, I turned around and saw a group of people coming towards me.

I got up quickly and tried to get out of there, but it was too late.

Fear sometimes makes us irrational, and at this moment I did not know what to do, I did not know how to react, I was scared, I felt one of the men grabbing me by the arms, and attached me to his body

"hey you, don't move so much kittens, let's talk"

The second man spoke and stood in front of me, and grabbed my face forcing me to look at him.

"so you're the Diaz little princess aren't you?" I wasn't noticing anything, I just tried to get away but without success, I wonder what would happen to me...

I tried to fight and I tried to let go, but unfortunately I only did worse, he pressed himself behind my back and won't let me go.

"Let's teach that boy a lesson, that's what he and his brother will pay to judge us dumb."

One of them pulled a knife out of his waist and approached me...

"NO PLEASE DON'T"

I started screaming, and crying madly, I was now completely scared.

At that very moment, I felt the blade pierce my skin... I didn't know what to do, I just tried to struggle

But when I turned my head, there he was, out of nowhere, the people around me were thrown away, I felt my body fall into the sand...

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep...

But to be honest I felt my body warm, from this moment on, it just got dark.

_______________________________________

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