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leafostuff · 9 months

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Cuddle Party [Ft. CSR]

Tags: 8-some fluff, super sweet, sleepover, cheeks madness, very wholesome Word count: 8k~ words Author's notes: this monstosity of a fic is finally out, 8k words of pure fluff and wholesome stuff, CSR is my favorite group and i had a ton of fun writing for them, hope you all will enjoy the fic Credit: @4m1rz for being my trusty beta reader and @libraryoferos for not only helping me with the beta reading but also providing some of the scenes plus the inspiration for this fic, without him this fic wouldnt exist so make sure to give him some love

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“Why am i even here”

you thought to yourself as you were in your mom’s car on your way toward one of your classmates Gu Yeham’s house for a sleepover, honestly, you didnt really expect to get an invitation to a sleepover at all, especially when all of you are 17 years old, so when you found yourself looking at your phone which the same girl who is hosting this sleepover was the one who texted you her invitation.

“Are you sure this is the place?” your mom asked, you tried to look out of the window to check if this was the correct house however it was so dark that you couldn't really recognize however as you look at the address Yeham gave to you it was all correct and this indeed was her house.

As you nod to your mom she sighs in relief, “Okay, you remember what we talked about before?” she asked as honestly, it was hard to forget the number of rules your mom gave you in order for her to let you go to this sleepover, especially one with him being the only guy full of girls.

“Yes Mom, no sleeping together with them, i must inform you at 11 PM sharp that everything is fine” you say, started taking your bag out of the back of the car-” you were saying however your mom cutted you

“and what is the most important rule?” she asked as you were confused, you couldnt remember anything else besides those two since you were pretty zoned out

"Wear protection?" you asked as your mom laughed as she gave you a kiss on the forehead and a warm smile

“Have fun” she said as you left the car, in front of the big house, as you find your way through the dark path you finally manage to get toward the door of the house, the small light from the entrance illuminates the doorbell. pressing the doorbell start get your thoughts racing through your head

“Ok dude, relax its all good, its just a sleepover, you did those before, granted it was at age 10 and this sleepover is only girls but i should be fine, nothing to-” your thoughts came to a halt as the door suddenly opened, revealing Gu Yeham in front of you, her face lit up as she saw you in the door.

“oh shit” you thought to yourself

You couldn’t think of anything anymore. She was beautiful.

Quick. You searched in every corner of your brain of a compliment to give Yeham but found nothing—smooth hair you have, no, you have pretty skin, no no, your cheeks are very round? You fumbled every word possible and in the end stuck with a “Hello, Yeham?”

“Welcome, welcome~” she said with a smile, “What are you waiting for? Come in, unless you want to freeze outside by yourself” she jokingly said, inviting you to her house

It looked big from the outside but it was even more majestic inside: the walls were high and spacious, brightly shined decorations of gold and silver while the crystal chandelier sparkled. You didn’t feel exactly comfortable. You were not used to this kind of environment and felt stiff and uptight to be in such a luxurious place but your friend eased you into it. Yeham took your hand and guided you to the kitchen. Remembering that it was her place made you a tiny bit more relaxed.

“You’re late, was it difficult to find my house?” she asked.

“Yeah, It’s a bit far from the city area. It didn’t help that it was really dark and I… didn’t expect it to be like this.”

��Don’t you like it?”

“No, no, I do,” you were quick to correct yourself. “I like it a lot. It’s very beautiful. Maybe it’s too beautiful. I’m afraid I will destroy something if I step in the wrong way.”

She chuckles. “You’re too tense!” Yeham gave you a pat on your back. “I’ve never seen you this way.”

“Yeah, it’s just that… uh…” you stopped yourself. It was embarrassing to admit it but stupid were you to even start it. Yeham’s eyes raised toward you in a curious manner, they studied you and she said, “It’s what?”

“Nohing. Nothing.” you quickly lie, looking away at her to try and hide your embarrassment, however she quickly walked in closer to look at your eyes.

“Oppa…Don’t lie now. Don’t forget you accepted the sleepover. We won’t go anywhere unless you tell me now and I have all night~” Yeham playfully told you with a devious smirk. She crossed her arms and looked at you through her eyebrows, fierce and bossy. You knew you couldn’t convince her.

“Aish… It’s that…”

“That?”

“That it’s my first time being at a girl’s place.” you quickly blurt out, being embarrassed even more

Yeham’s gaze immediately softened and her hands dropped to her sides. Her eyes turn into pleading puppy eyes as a fuzzy feeling fills her chest. She affectionately tugged the hem of your sweater to meet your eyes. “Awww, don’t feel nervous. I’m just… your friend! You should be comfortable around me,” she said. “Or is there something that’s bothering you? I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine really. I guess I just need to get used to this.”

“Really? Are you sure? You’re looking at me weird,” she laughed.

“It’s because you’re…. very pretty today,” you said, your cheeks turn a shade of pink as you earned yourself a soft punch on your shoulder. Yeham’s steps quicken to rush to the kitchen. She doesn’t look lie she’s blushing but the reddish tint on her ears reveals what she’s really feeling.

You sighed in relief and followed her.

You almost enter the door when suddenly you hear Yeham squeal. You stepped inside. There were bags everywhere and all the cupboards were open with some jars upside down and everything else in a mess.

Your eyes cross a girl on the ground. Her cheeks were full, with bits of chips on her cheeks and lips, while her right hand held a bag and the other hand was still half way into the bag. She hides the evidence behind her back. You’re not sure what her intention was.

“Hello?” she said, flashing a guilty smile.

“I told you to TAKE OUT the snacks, not EAT all of them!” Yeham scolded her. “Seoyeon Unnie, what is this mess?”

“Well, you said to take out all of the snacks right? so I had to make sure I really did get everything out.” she explained herself as Yeham just looked even more confused than before.

“And why are you eating?”

“Uhh…quality control?” she simply asked in a rhetorical question as Yeham shook her head in disappointment.

“You’re unbelievable,” Yeham sighed. She pinched her nose bridge and gave you a look of defeat, the one that tells you to “deal with this yourself.”

“I’ll go see what the other girls are doing,” she said and left, you could feel the annoyance from Yeham's Aura toward her unnie. Splendid. Your first task is to clean.

It was your turn to sigh now. You looked around the room, it looked like a tornado just passed. Seoyeon smiled at you, squinting her eyes, and waving her hand, happy that she has someone to help her clean.

You look around and grab a tissue before crouching down to her level. You grab her chin and start cleaning her face. “You can’t even eat properly, Seoyeon. Look at you.”

Seoyeon just giggled and closed her eyes. You let go of the napkin and used your fingers to swipe away all the little crumbles. In the midst of the action, you realize how soft her cheeks were. Sure, they did look soft but you didn’t know they actually were this soft. It really felt like holding a marshmallow.

You didn’t realize you were just squishing her cheeks until Seoyeon told you.

“Oppa… are you finished?”

“Oh! Sorry…” you said pulling away your hands. You looked away.

She laughed. “So caring of you to clean me like this, have anyone told you you are boyfriend material?” she asked, looking at you with a cute grin, lost in her eyes, your mind couldn't comprehend what seoyeon was saying.

“What are you even saying, Seoyeon.” You stood up, quickly shaking yourself of the trance and patting your pants. “Help me clean.”

Seoyeon started by picking up all the bags she scattered on the ground, while you went to get a broom. That little rascal couldn’t even bother to eat normally and left crumbles everywhere as if she was Hansel. You have been her friend long enough to be accustomed to this side of her. You weren’t surprised, of course you weren’t, and you wondered why Yeham even left her alone in the first place.

Seoyeon was a bright a girl. She was optimistic and could get along with any stranger, making them feel close and accepted. Her extroverted demeanor eventually caught you as well and that’s how you two became friends: she was a bit too energetic when she went to greet you and accidentally knocked down your lunch tray. Fortunately, some of the food was still intact but she felt guilty and wanted to apologize properly. Then followed several days with Seoyeon chasing you around and you running away, because you were scared to talk to her.

Walking out the kitchen, you couldn’t help but observe the house. You already saw it before but it still fascinated you how big it was. About two families could live comfortably in there. Yeham didn’t have any sibling, it must feel lonely sometime. It was also true that she had lots of friends.

To your surprise—even though it was obvious—the room with all the cleaning equipment was huge. It was almost as big as your little bedroom.

So you went and looked. It looked like a whole cleaning supply store squished in there. There were all kinds of brooms, dustpans, mops, microfiber cloths, two vacuum cleaners, stacks of buckets, squeegees, toilet brushes. Those were only the tools: on the right, there was a shelf with all of the cleaning solutions. From the all-purpose cleaner to the glass cleaner, antibacterial spray, tile cleaner, bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, white vinegar, baking soda. Not to mention a whole row of laundry detergents that you couldn't recognize. In the corner, there were also products for pets, like paw wipes (you didn’t know she had a dog), urine neutralizers, brushes, etc.

Why did she even need that much stuff? Wouldn’t her family have hired a maid of some sort? Judging from where she lives, it wasn’t like she couldn’t afford it. You so lost looking into he room that you didn’t realize someone sneaked up to you.

“Who is it?” you barely heard behind you. “Why are you taking so long?” She kept your eyes covered with her hands but judging from her voice and her words, she must’ve been…

“Seoyeon.”

The hands leave your eyes as you turned around to see… Yuna. Yuna standing in front of you, angrily pouting all alone, her arms folded over her chest, and a burning gaze. Yuna was happy to see you but she did not like that you arrived at the house half an hour ago, you’ve barely spoken or looked at her, and now you even got her voice wrong.

“Oh, it’s you,” you said. “Hey, Yuna.”

“Oh, its you…” Yuna whined then sighed heavily, maybe even a little dramatically. “Go back to Seoyeon.”

You shook your head and chuckled, finding her grumbling adorable but also a bit worried by her sudden change in behaviour.

“Are you mad?” you asked. Yuna respond didnt. “perhaps...jealous?” with this question Yuna immediately reacts, as her she starts to tense up and her face started to turn pink

“Ha! No,” she scoffed and folded her arms again, this time looking away to the wall.

“Anyways, I’m sorry I didn’t recognize your voice but it’s because you said something like what was taking me so long and the only one who as waiting for me was Seoyeon to help her clean. So I thought—”

“I was waiting for you too!” Yuna puffed. “We haven’t hanged out for so long but now that we can meet again you’re only paying attention to Seoyeon.”

“It’s only been a couple of minutes.”

“A couple?!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” you quickly assured her as you put your hand on her head and patted her. “I’m sorry. We’ll definitely catch up later, okay? I’m really happy to see you again.”

Yuna couldn’t help but smile.

“Okay,” she mumbled. “Go and clean fast so we can talk.”

“Alright.” you grabbed the first broom you could find and went back to the kitchen. It was incredible. Impressive. Desperate. The kitchen was in a bigger mess than before. You saw Seoyeon sitting with her leg crossed in a sign of defeat on the floor. Her head was looking down sadly. “Explain yourself,” you simply said.

“I… I knocked down the cereal box,” Seoyeon mumbled with embarrassment. She hid herself away from you. “I was just trying to put the bags away—it’s not my fault—it just fell…”

You facepalmed yourself and didn’t say anything. You just sucked it up and started cleaning. With the right attitude, it didn’t take too long. Seoyeon had to really follow you or else she’d get a whooping.

"You two finished? The girls are waiting for us" Yuna asked after twenty minutes, you two nodded and started heading upstairs, on your way you found yourself looking at Yuna on the other side of the room, which she quickly noticed and gave you a small wink. You could feel your face turn pink but you quickly shrugged it off, now you finally arrived to Yeham’s room, finding 5 girls sitting on Yeham’s, all of them looking at you.

“Great, you finally got here,” Duna said, she was dressed in a casual pink pajama with bunnies as the decoration, she was looking at you with a smile “we all waited for you Oppa, now can we start no?” she asked as Yeham turned her gaze toward, now smiling at you as she leaned closer to you

“Ready for the best sleepover you ever had in your life?" She playfully asked, it was a simple question and for this there was only one simple answer.

“You bet” you simply said.

At the start you couldn't lie that you were a bit afraid of this sleepover, especially since you are a guy and they are a girl it will turn awkward very quick since they couldn't share girl secrets, however instead you felt happy as you all of you had fun, starting from random video games all of you would play together, to Playing Uno, that being where to problems started.

“Sihyeon, a-are you sure you want to play UNO with the damn UNO empress herself?!” Gaeumhee stuttered, sweating from the hellish pressure around the two rivals.

“Why not? I gotta show this little girl who’s the real deal,” she casually replied. There’s confidence in her eyes, firmness in her voice, no trace of fear or doubt. She shuffled the deck swiftly, ignoring the havoc around her. Geumhee sighed.

“I’ve played with you for how many years? And you wouldn’t even take on your manager. What makes you think you can take on the almighty Sua herself—”

“Don’t worry, Geumhee. I got this. Just watch.” Geumhee rolls her eyes. Sua is risking herself at this point, she knew it and accepted it already, and there’s nothing she can do to stop her. She backed into the crowd of people and the contender sat down in the center of the room, in a floor that now was the Colosseum’s pit, Madison Square Garden’s ring, the place where the everything ends.

You gulp. In the years you’ve been friends with these girls, you’ve heard all sort of stories about Sihyeon and her goddess-like UNO plays—how they had to hold a guy down because he went insane after losing five times; how she casually beat the second best player in the world during her lunchbreak—and now you were going to witness the legend.

Apparently, her ancestors invented UNO itself.

“Just you wait, pathetic girl! You will beg for forgiveness after my last move!” Sua shouted passionately. She sat herself in front of Sua.

The game started.

The rest of the game was no more than a memory in your head. The succession of moves was never seen before. Every turn felt like the last one, you could only watch, without saying anything, breathing anxiously. After ten long minutes, it looked like a winner was clear.

5 cards to 1. The fate of Yoo Sua depended on her next move.

“How did it come to this…” Sihyeon sighed.

“Make your last useless move so I can end this duel, Sihyeon.” Sua sneered. She was holding only one card, she truly thought that game was over. Sua had nothing to say, she just shook her had, smiling wryly.

“You have no idea what I have in my hand.” Sihyeon said, then, she played a yellow skip on top of the previously played yellow four. After that, she played a blue skip, a green skip, and then a red skip… “Uno.”

“No way!” Sua’s face took a complete 180 as she realized what was about to happen.

“And… that’s game.” She said, playing down a red six.

Sua’s chin lowered to her chest, her eyes still on that six, her hand went limp, letting her lonely card fall out, a yellow nine. She shook her head helplessly. How could she lose? The empress, the girl that beat every player of RBW entertainment and POP MUSIC, lose to a no one like Sihyeon. She lets a long low sigh as Sua came closer.

“You know what’s next, Sua,” she said, “I will take the one thing you desire the most. Last time, the first time I challenged you, you took my title and that’s why you’re the leader of this group. This time I will take him.” Sihyeon pointed at you. You looked at her with a confused look.

“Me?” you innocently asked.

“Yes, her cru—”

“Wait! What are you saying! You’re clearly wrong.”

“I’m not wrong. I know how you always talk about him. You love—” A pillow crushes on Sihyeon’s face. The whole room freezes from the sudden hit while Sua’s cheeks turned tomato red from embarrassment as she could just be asked to bury herself right now however… “PILLOW FIGHTTTTTTTTT!!!!” Geumhee shouted on the top of her lungs as everyone rose from the floor and grabbed their weapon; however it wasn't just a simple fight, It was war and you either take a side or you take the floor.

10 minutes later and the fight was intense. All of you split into two factions: the bunnies and the ducks. On your bunnies side were Sua, Duna and Yuna while Geumhee, Yeham, Seoyeon and Sihyeon were out for your head. It was tough, everyone was better than you thought but who the most brutal was Geumhee. You could see the girls running away on the other side in fear.

With a roar, Geumhee got into your line with her great pillow… her huge cushion was whirling again, making space, and your line went back and the ducks followed her, determined to win this battle and make a name that would be remembered in all the land of the dreams.

You just started to find your prey to hunt when you saw Sua fall down beside you. Her body flopped lifeless right in front of your eyes, her pillow lied there with her broken spirit.

“Sua, no!” you screamed and ran to her.

“It was a hard blow…” Sua whispered.

“No! It can’t be!” you begged and looked at your teammates, they were struggling and still going back.

Sua caressed your face. She looked at you like it was her last time. “My prince,” she started, “the proud warrior of this nation and my beloved.” Her breath itched at the last word, but she ignored it and continued. “Unfortunately fate decided that my last day was marked by the pillow of evil Geumhee but don’t let our story end here. My dear, the trumpets of eternal glory did not sing yet and they await for you.”

Her hand went around your neck. You lowered your face, closing the distance with her lips, it was her last moment, it would also be her last ki—

Too soon. Sua blushes and rolls under a blanket. You guessed she buried herself.

Duna, who saw the whole scene, ran upon a mattress and called the attention of her remaining comrades. “People fall everyday. Friends… family. yeah, we lost Sua tonight. But she’s still with us… in here,” she said, pointing right to her heart. “She didn’t fall in vain! But you you will! Sua’s heart did beat for us! For all of us! It’s not over!”

You could feel energy rush into your body again. You feel the smack behind of you coming from Sihyeon, as you turn your gaze at her she immediately tenses up, realizing she may made a mistake. You immediately start heading toward her, a pillow in hand ready to return the favor as suddenly you could feel the hit being blocked.

It was Geumhee, her teammate in this war, you look into each other’s eyes already knowing what must happen as you start hitting each other’s pillow, blocking each swing like you two were professional fencing players, suddenly you could feel being backed into a corner, feeling like geumhee will get her hit on you, finally knocking you out of the war.

There was no way to avoid it, and blocking her this hit may cause you to fall down as you open you arms, accepting your fate.

*Boom*

“YESS!!! I GOT HIM” geumhee shouted in joy with complete disregard to the entire enviorment, her smile was large and confident as you simply get up, looking at Duna, Sua and Yuna, they all lost their 3 hearts in the beginning so they really relied on you to win them the war.

“Well at least i was close” you simply said.

“Yeah, you almost clutched and got us the win” Yuna simply said, happy.

“Almost,” Sua said angrily, she was very competitive and you could feel it through her sulky voice, meanwhile geumhee walked toward you.

“Good games, you really made me sweat up here since the other girls are very easy to beat,” she said as you could faintly hear Yuna saying “HEY” angrily from somewhere. Geumhee raised her hand for a handshake as you raised it as well, giving her a sportlike handshake.

“Ok, so it's 10:30, how about we will get down to the real business, and really get this sleepover to how it should be?” Yeham said as she begins to smirk, as quickly all the girls realized what she was talking about causing their smiles to rise as well.

“What?” you asked, confused since it was a while since you had been in a sleepover as Yeham just giggles as she leans closer to you.

“It's truth or dare time,” Yeham replied in your ear, honestly it would be the first time you will play truth or dare at all since you didnt have much friends and those who you did had the chance to have sleepovers with didnt like to play truth or dare so an experience like this would be a first.

as you all sat on the floor of Yeham’s bedroom in a circle Sua takes a water bottle and puts it on the floor, you found yourself sitting near Yeham from the right side while Duna sat near you on your left “Ok who spins first?” Seoyeon asks as Geumhee just leans toward the bottle and spins it clockwise.

a couple of spins later the bottle starts to slow down more and more as finally it stops with the front of the bottle facing toward Yuna and the back of it facing toward Seoyeon, Yuna in response just curses quietly while the short-haired girl shows a happy grin.

“Okay Yuna, truth or dare?” Seoyeon asked, making Yuna hesitate for a couple of seconds, not sure what to say as she gulps and finally spoke the next words.

“I choose dare” she reluctantly said, waiting for the worst to come as Seoyeon smiles, knowing that she has a plan.

“I dare you, to lay on Oppa’s lap for two minutes” she said as Yuna’s face turned bright red, looking at your face which seems to be more confused then ever, “Is this something that happens regularly in truth dare?” you asked yourself while Yuna walked to where you seat, sitting between you and Duna, which looked at you a bit annoyingly however you couldn’t focus on it since Yuna slowly fell toward your lap as finally her fully blushing face was on your lap, making the entire population of the room squeal in excitement as the girl in your lap gets more and more embarrassed.

“ohhhh i got to take a picture of it” Yeham said cheerfully as she rushed toward her study desk to grab her phone, as the sudden surprise of Yuna on your lap relaxes you scout the room. first there is Yeham, the organizer of the sleepover with her camera on taking pictures of the entire situation, Geumhee Seoyeon. Sihyeon and Duna were looking at you with big grins and giggling at you however Sua looked weird, she was looking away with red cheeks though sometimes she will try to glance at you but she couldn't bring herself to it, “is everything ok with her?” you asked yourself as suddenly you find yourself staring below you

you see Yuna just laying there,getting comfortable on your lap with her smile being as big as ever. however something you wouldn't notice before were her cheeks, [Insert Cheeks Ramble]

“And….time” Seoyeon said as Yuna rose up from your lap and looked at you with a big smile and then turned toward Sua, showing her a big grin causing the girl with orange hair to look furious, leaving you a bit confused at the situation however it quickly stopped as Yuna started talking

“MY TURN!!!” Yuna said as she spun the bottle again, spinning more and more with each second passing as now it stopped facing Seoyeon with the back of the bottle in front of…you? that will be interesting as Seoyeon gulps,

“Seoyeon, truth or dare?” you ask the girl with short hair as she starts to get stressed,

“Uhhh Truth?” she simply said.

“Well Seoyeon, is it true that…you already confessed to whoever you like?” you say, simply as a joke to try and lighten up the mood since you saw Sua sour’s face from before, however the results were not what you expected as the entire room now froze in place.

First to speak was sua, which did stop her from being gloomy but instead made her face go so red even #FF0000 was nothing compared to Sua’s face, “UNNIEEEE, YOU ALREADY CONFESSED?” Sua asked Seoyeon, looking furious than before while Seoyeon was just confused.

“N-n-no, what are you talking about, we are not even crushing about the same guy” the short haired girl stuttered, confused and embarrassed.

“Uh huh, just like i saw you with him in the kitchen as he touched your cheeks” Yuna joined the argument which made you freeze for a second “wait she already met her crush today? i seen at school like all day and i have no idea who they are talking about” you thought to yourself.

“I swear to god, why no one told me Sua liked him too” Sihyeon just asks, annoyed at the whole situation

“wait you like him too Unnie?” Duna suddenly spoke as for you the confusement turned up to 11 with all of the 7 girls arguing with each other, you couldn't handle it anymore as you finally asked the question no one asked before

“Who is HIM?!” You shout, puzzled from this entire interaction.

“YOU OPPA, WHO ELSE?!” Yeham answered as the whole room stopped, realizing the truth was already out, and there was no way to deny it as Yeham walked closer and started speaking, her face blushing a bit

“Oppa…we all have feelings for you…apparently, and from what it seems each one of us thought we were the only to have feelings for you, and…now this happened….were sorry” everyone looked down in embarrassment, now the room finally gets quiet, giving you the time to think

“They all liked you? for how long? why?” a billion questions ran through your head, while you try to find each girl’s eyes they turn away their face as if they shamed their family. In your head there was also another question: who should you chose

And as if you were communicating with telepathy, Sua immediately answered.

“Well, i think i should be with Oppa, since like…i was the first to crush on him and all” she blurted quietly as Geumhee paused herself and looked at Sua.

“What? no, i was the first one he met from our friend group since i showed him the school, i should end with him” you could already sense this was going to start another argument however Yeham joins in, calming everyone down

“Girls, we can't choose for him who he should end up with, we need to let him choose himself, Yeham pointed at you as like a moth attracted to light, the 7 girl's eyes drawn themself to you.

7 choices, 1 for each girl as you really had no idea who you should have the happy ending with. It wasn’t an easy choice. Each girl you found yourself having a fun time, like Geumhee’s occasional invites to her gaming's session online with you, or Like duna whom you were watching mukbang during school lunch, with each girl you could find one interaction you had that you were fond of.

However, you had an idea for an 8th solution, something that while it not make everyone happy in the end, it can make the playing field fair.

“5 Minutes” you simply as all of the girls were confused, letting you continued “this is how much time you have to charm me, besides doing something naughty everything else is fair game, is it ok by everyone?” you ask as all of the girls look at each other’s and then looked back at you with a smile, this was the first smile ever since your stupid truth.

“Yeah” Seoyeon answered but it was clear the answer was agreed on by everyone, realizing how far they took this stupid argument, by instinct the girls turned to each other in a circle, doing rock paper scissors, which after a minute or so Yeham steps closer to you, signaling she will start in this now contest to make you theirs.

On her knees, Yeham looks at you with a mixture of embarrassment and desire. Her eyes flicker between the floor and your pupils, her cheeks clearly red, make you wonder if her blushing was for you or for what was about to come. She gently puts her hands on your legs and gets closer.

It’s hard for her to look at you in the eyes. Her head is turned to the side, leaving her neck and collarbone on full display. The skin is thin, pale, delicate, how easy would it be to leave a hickey, to cover it in kisses and smudges—how sensitive would her neck be, to whine and hiccup at your lips? Compose yourself.

Yeham hasn’t started yet and you’re already doing her work for her. You can feel her fingers tracing paths on your thighs, wherever they were going, they were too close to you. In a stummering fall, you put your hands behind to support you. Yeham doesn’t let you get away. She takes a further step and looks straight into your eyes.

Now, she was more embarrassed than flirty but that didn’t matter. She bites her lip. Fingernails itch your skin, she caresses your chin, down to your neck, to your chest. “Do you know how long I’ve liked you for, Oppa?” she whispers. “It’s your fault I can’t sleep at night. I keep thinking of you and If I do fall asleep, you follow me in my dreams. It’s such a torture to see you this close to the other girls.”

Your hand try to grab what they can, creasing the moquette, marking the floor. Her poison is taking effect. You steal glances at her lips. They are pouty, shy, trying to roll back and hide themselves, yet the few glimpses of their pink shade instills the most deep desire in yourself.

“You can kiss me, oppa,” she reads your mind. “I won’t mind. But then you’ll be mine. It’s such a simple gesture and I’ll be yours. What do you say?”

To see your most caring friend that needy, at a kiss away, made you feel unexplainable new emotions. It would be a lie to say you never thought about her that way. To say, you were not considering her offer right now, would be absolutely false. You hesitantly open your mouth, “I… I think I want to—”

“That’s it!” Sua screams, grabs Yeham’s shoulder and forcefully pulls her away, rolling down with her. You let out the breath you’ve been holding until then, your eyes are wide open. You forgot about the other girls.

The background of chatter is of jealousy and envy. They realized how easy you were to persuade—you almost gave in to Yeham and she only had to offer yourself to you—if they wanted to win over their friends, they had to step up their actions. The first contender was hiding behind a big pillow, she was a blushing mess and didn’t dare to watch you again. She exceeded all her limits. Whose turn was now?

Yuna stood up, walking toward where you were sitting, she looked confident unlike Yeham’s which from the start was embarrassed but Yuna was simply smiling as instead of sitting in front of you she instead sat on your lap, right from the first second you felt embarrassed but what Yuna was about to say made you in shock

“You can touch them” she says as now its your turn to blush, looking at her chest you cant believe a girl would let you touch her in a place that special, however you find yourself looking at the girl, her face matches your color of red from the blush. giving you a smack on the head as you now realize that wasn't what she meant as her hands now point toward her cheeks.

Your hands slowly magnetize toward her face, one inch by one inch while Yuna is closing her eyes and her blush seems to be gone, ready for what was about to come.

You have been admiring Yuna’s round cheeks for a long time, but had never found a chance to feel them. Now that your friend was this close and openly inviting you, your desire was stronger than ever. One finger first, you wanted to test your expectations. Just at the touch, her right cheek enveloped the tip of your finger. You didn’t have to put much pressure they were soft enough.

Your thumb joined your lonely index, to gently pinch her cheek. It was easy to compare her skin to bread dough—it was smooth and pale, not exactly firm but not soggy either, bouncy and springy. When your left hand cupped her face together with your other hand, you started kneading her cheeks. You were delicate and careful, you didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or ruin her skin.

Yuna was surprisingly enjoying it. She was smiling widely, eyes closed. It probably felt like a face massage to her, it was heaven for you instead.

She wasn’t stupid. She’s seen you observing her long before you started liking her and when she caught you looking at her pictures on your phone, it was always her poking her cheek or pouting. Yuna put the pieces together and understood.

Cheeks are the greatest gift to a woman’s face.

Cheeks alone can determine her whole demeanor, look, and expectations: take a runway model for example, they don’t have cheeks, rather, their chin is sharp and their cheekbones are pronounced resulting in a slim face; this makes them look more elegant and assertive, contributing to their overall confidence. Girls with soft and plump cheeks, on the other hand, are cute, they look more innocent and nice. We have a natural desire for cute humans, just like how we all like babies. Then it was obvious why you preferred round girls—they are sweeter and cuter.

Following this argument, Yuna was a loaf. Yuna must have been the most gifted together with Yeham. Her face shape wasn’t pointy or large, but smoothly round to compliment her plump features. She had the softer and fuller kind of cheeks, that naturally looked pouty, in contrast to Sua, whose cheekbones were more pronounced.

After a minute, your hands were numb, or just lost in the cloudy skin. Your mind was blank, just happy thoughts. Yuna’s face was a large grin, satisfied and happy. If she had a tail, it would be joyously wiggling right now—it was true that she kind of resembled a puppy at times. Her plan was succeeding: feeding into your deepest desire got her a lot of points.

"Times up Yuna, your turn is over" suddenly your trance is over as you hear Seoyeon say, Yuna quickly left your lap with a big grin. "That was brutal" you thought to yourself while looking around you find how the girls are trying to think, Was it for planning their way of charming you? who knew but you didn't have much time to think about it since now Sihyeon rises and walks over to you.

“Is it okay…never mind, just forget i said anything” Sihyeon quickly shutted her mouth and looked away, however you got curious.

“Its ok Sihyeon, you can say it” you reply as she found your gaze again, her eyes shining from excitement, so much that without saying anything she leans closer, making you a bit nervous while the girl in front of you continue to lean closer and closer until both of your noses touch each other.

as you look at the black haired girl in front of you feel your face getting hotter by the second as Sihyeon just cutely giggles, you heard of nose snuggles being done in TV shows but you never experience it yourself.

While you were not as close to Sihyeon to the other girls you still had some interactions in school, like how you two are lab mates in Chemistry class and had some very funny moments together, while all of this was happening you had one thing on your mind that you can't take off: for the whole time you've been friends with all of the girls, they all liked you.

Many questions run through your mind right now, for how long they liked you? Who was the first one to like you, WHY do they even like you, its not like you were someone special, you were just a teen, a guy who just became their friend through circumstances.

However while you were inside your thoughts you couldnt notice the time was up, as you open your eyes you see the girl, looking at you with a cute smile while giggling, “Time is up” Seoyeon said rolling her eyes, for the first time in forever she looked a bit annoyed as you could only be curious if she wasn't just annoyed, but instead Jealous.

Duna stood up and walked toward you, grinning from to ear to ear as she simply leaned into your cheek and gave you a small peck, which result in the entire room freaking out including you however unlike the others your freaking out was inside your brain as it ended up completely frozen.

“If you choose me, you will get more then just kisses on the cheek” she said, winking in order to get you flustered even further.

It was safe to say that after this Duna was disqualified from the contest.

While she did charm you really well, she may have done it too well, causing you to basically freeze for 2 minutes, and if it wasn't for the hot choco Yeham gave you, you wouldve been frozen for longer

“It was worth it” Duna said, pouting lightly as now you were ready for the next girl to charm you. You couldn't lie that all of this was really fun for you, so fun that you even forgot to message your mom to say how you were doing at the sleepover, luckily after Seoyeon’s turn which she simply just cuddled you with a smile you remembered to check your phone, texting your mom that you are fine in which she simply responded with a thumbs up and a good night

“So its between Geumhee Unnie and Sua” Yuna said as you were a bit curious of how each of them will approach charming you since Geumhee never really had the chance to flirt without any guy until now and Sua was in her words the first one to fall in love with you.

Geumhee wasn’t as exciting as her members. She wasn’t an extrovert, a dork, or a confident supermodel, and couldn’t offer you any of the things her friends did. In her mind, she was the most average girl ever, which wasn’t true in everyone else’s eyes but that’s what she thought.

What she could offer you, however, was peace.

Until now, the contest of the girls had been hectic and your mind and heart was so confused who to choose, because each girl made her best to charm to make you fall in love with her, Geumhee however thought otherwise: she decided to be your checkpoint, to stop and relax because after all a good girlfriend is also a girl that let you relax and escape from the world when needed.

“Come put your head on my lap,” that’s what she wanted to say in her mind, however. “cmeputhyyuheommmap,” is what she actually blabbered out of her mouth. Just the mental image of you, sleepyhead, laying on her lap under her chest was enough to send shivers through her spine and color her face a bright rosy red.

“What did you say?” you ask.

“Uhhh…Lap pillow?” she says, gently patting her lap. You glance over at her with a confused look, too tired to recognize what she’s asking at first, and she stares back with a gentle longing in her eyes. She can only continue patting her lap again and stare patiently.

After a second, it clicks.

“You want me to… uh….”

Geumhee quickly nods and smiles warmly.

Your first reaction is an awkward crawling to your friend, who was already sitting on her knees, with a pillow under her feet. You look at her for one more time to see if she was sure and she offers you a small smile.

Your head stummers down to her legs and then it plops down on her lap.

It feels so comfy. It’s almost instantaneous how all the built up fatigue hits you and your body relaxes to accommodate better your new found pillow. Diligently, as a good girlfriend does, Geumhee ran her fingers through your hair with a fluid, continuous motion, combing out any tangles, and lightly stroking their fingertips along the back of your neck.

Your eyelids flutter and gently close as all you can feel at the moment is pure bliss

Her hands on your head feel like the gentle rocking of a lonely ship on the sea. Her lap feels like the soft embrace of a cloudy heaven. And your body is stuck in between land and water, what you suppose heaven on earth feels like.

“You love it, don’t you?” Geumhee said, behind her shyness. She giggles jokingly, with the smug of a satisfied kid. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”

Your face slightly slips to the crook between her thighs. You feel the smoothness of her legs, helped by her pajama shorts, on your cheek and it’s nice. Really nice. It’s warm, comforting, flustering.

“Where did you learn this stuff?” you eagerly asked her.

“Well, I read some stuff.”

“Some stuff like what?”

“Uhm…” Geumhee is embarrassed to admit the amount of research she did while fantasizing to be your girlfriend. She wanted to be perfect for you. “so… webtoons, romance books, and some of the stuff that Yuna reads.”

“Yuna’s stuff? Like hentais?” you joke and laugh.

“Hey! Yuna’s voice is like a little pebble to your head.

“No, no, no,” Geumhee stutters. “It’s rom com mangas.” she explains herself as you giggled from her embarrassment, causing the girl to join you as well. You were so relaxed that time passed very quick. “We need to finish” Geumhee says while you were leaving her lap

“It was fun” you replied “Now who is the last one?” you asked

“Me” Sua exclaimed, standing up as her face had a mixture of both anger and sadness, you could even spot some tears in her eyes, "I have waited enough '' she said, quickly she lunged toward you, pulling you into an embrace.

"Watching all of the girls touch you, feel you…it hurted me" she added as her hands moved over to your chest "but now I finally have you, around me in an embrace as all I want now is to say is" she hesitated for a second, looking down however she looked at you back, full with confidence.

"...I love you, I…always loved you. From the first day we met" Sua exclaimed, leaving you shook, its weird to think that someone fell in love with you of all people in first sight, but here was Sua, looking at you with her eyes full of tears, all you could really do was hug her.

At that moment you could care less about the competition, all you cared about was to comfort your heartbroken friend as much as you could.

Looking around you could see that even the other girls didn't look at the two of you in jealousy anymore, but instead in looks of guilt, making you feel happy that even the girls thought like you

"Well uhh…times up" Yeham awkwardly said as slowly you released your hug from sua, instead you leaned your forehead, touching hers just like bunnies do when they want to forgive someone

"So oppa? Who won?" Yuna asks while leaning closer with a very cute smile, probably and try to charm you with a last ditch effort

"Well…i-" you were about to say when suddenly geum hee stopped you

"Yuna ya, how about we let Oppa sleep about it, he needs time, and besides, its 1 AM and we are tired" the oldest explained before Yuna sighed and reluctantly agreed

Soon enough after all of you brushed your teeth and organized your mattresses you were all ready to sleep, however while the other girls quickly fell asleep your head was full of thoughts

And honestly who wouldn't be after 7 girls confessed to them, however throughout those flow of thoughts there is only one question: who will you choose

This was really a mystery for you since you liked each of the girls that it was hard for you to choose, you could suggest all of them to be your girlfriend but you quickly shutted that idea not only they will revoke your friendship status with them, but you find harem disgusting from the few anime you've seen.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing to sleep on" you thought to yourself as you started breathing in and breathing out, relaxing each part of your body until your eyes close themself by force, letting you drift to sleep

However during the dream you got an enlightening thought, the solution to the puzzle of who should you choose to be your girlfriend

"I think I will choose…"

================================================

well this took a long time to publish, considering a lot of stuff, but yeah, this fic was very fun to write and i hope you all enjoyed like i did, hope you will have a great day ahead of you and see you next update leafies

#kpop fanfic #kpop #fluff #kpop fluff #csr #csr kpop #csr yuna #csr sua #csr duna #csr geumee #csr seoyeon #csrsihyeon #csr yeham #csr moodboard

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taloumina · 1 year

Text

Real Motive

JJ Maybank/Female Reader

Fluff, angst, insecurity

The reader in this is a night owl and former city girl.

Spoilers: none for any season

Summary: JJ finds out you can't swim.

I love unwinding at night with TV, and lately, my main show has been Outer Banks! Definitely makes me wish I was living right next to the ocean!

= = = = =

Living on an island like Kildare, you thought walks were much more enjoyable than they ever were in the city, and it was so much easier to run into people you knew. It happened during most of your walks.

This morning, one of those people was JJ.

“I knew it!” he said, pointing a finger at you the instant your eyes met.

Your pulse spiked, and you assumed that he finally knew what you’d been hiding from him and everyone else you’d met since moving here.

“You’re turning into an early bird, aren’t you?”

“Oh!” So that was what JJ meant. You released a shaky breath and smoothed out some invisible wrinkles on your dress, sounding as carefree as you could manage (which wasn’t very much). “Yeah, goodbye my night owl ways! I just couldn’t resist a morning walk!”

“You should try a morning swim. It’s even better,” he said with a lopsided smile. “I’m actually gonna go for one right now. Wanna join?”

“Oh, uh… no, I’m fine.” You hurriedly added, “But don’t let me stop you from swimming!”

Nice, you scolded yourself. Saying that when he wasn’t even in the water yet…

“C’mon, you can’t tell me you actually prefer walking instead!”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” You shrugged, and on the inside, you were desperate to get away from him before this got too long. “Sorry, but I gotta get back to, you know, walking!”

You tried being the “deadly” combo of funny and casual about it, but you must’ve failed because JJ’s smile fell as he looked at you, a perceptiveness in his eyes.

“Hey, (Name),” he said, “the reason why we’ve never seen you swim before… is it because you don’t know how to?”

You could just about feel your heart sink to the pit of your stomach with his question, and no part of you even thought about denying it. Why bother when JJ–or anyone else on this island–could make you prove it, only to unveil the truth when they see you really, seriously can’t swim at all once you hit the water.

You nodded slowly, averting your eyes. “Go ahead. You can laugh.”

“I’m not gonna do that.”

“And I’m saying you can. I know it’s bad, JJ. Moving to an island and not knowing how to swim?” You threw your hands up in the air. “It’s fucking crazy!”

“Last I remember, moving was your mom’s idea, not yours. And hey, I mean it,” you heard JJ say. “I’m not gonna laugh. I’m not that much a dick.”

You couldn’t help but look at him, a slight smile on your lips. “So you do admit you’re a dick.”

It was his turn to shrug, but the whole time he was smiling. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Silence fell between you two, broken only when JJ spoke again. “So why… did you never learn? Not judging, just curious.”

You knew he wasn't lying. Anyone would be curious about the girl who now lived on an island but couldn’t swim for her life, let alone anyone else’s, and you didn’t see any judgment in his eyes as you looked into them.

“It’s not that I never wanted to. It just… never happened. After my dad died, my mom spent all her time–and I mean all of it–working, trying to put food on our table and keep a roof over our heads. And it’s not like we lived next to any water.” You sighed, turning to the morning sky above for a moment. “Honestly, it’s been so long, just the two of us, I’m not even sure she knows that I can’t swim. She might think I can.”

You weren’t angry at your mom for it. It wasn’t a complete excuse, but being a single parent was difficult enough on its own, and things like making sure you went to school and did your homework were more important than making sure you learned how to swim. As a kid, how could you possibly have known that swimming was a skill everyone should have?

“It never came up when you guys decided to move here?” JJ asked.

“The ocean, yes. A new house, yes. A new life, yes. Swimming, specifically?” You shook your head. “I told myself once I got here, I’d learn how to swim somehow, but…”

“But everyone and their mom, dad, and dog here already knows how to swim, goes out there 24/7, and it’s annoying as fuck?” JJ guessed with an expression that told you he was 100% joking.

You laughed. “Yeah, something like that. And,” you said, tucking some hair behind your ear. “I didn’t want to humiliate myself by jumping into the water and needing to be saved ASAP.”

“Is that why you never told any of us? Because you thought we’d make fun of you?”

“You guys all swim like you’re fish. Every time I thought about telling you, I got scared and backed out. Thanks, by the way, for not making fun of me so far,” you said, infusing a little humor into your tone, but to your surprise, JJ didn’t respond with humor of his own.

“What if I teach you?” he offered, a serious look on his face.

“No, JJ, I don’t wanna burden you with this.”

“Who says it’s a burden? I got free time, you got free time, and we can spend that free time together.” During all this, he pointed from himself to you and then both of you.

“Teaching me how to swim? I can’t promise I’ll be a good student.” You could imagine yourself crying from frustration if you don’t learn quickly or if you feel like you’ll never be as adept at it as JJ (and everyone else) is.

“Then let me promise this,” he said. “I’m not gonna give up on you, and I’m not gonna be like some drill sergeant with a stick up his ass. No matter how long it takes, we’re gonna get you swimming.”

“Drill sergeant’?” you repeated, wanting to laugh more freely. But you couldn’t, remembering the rest of your friends. “What about the others? I don’t… really want them to know.”

“They don’t have to,” JJ said softly, and you tried not to think about what that meant. Why he wanted to do this for you.

“And assuming it’ll take more than a day for me to learn… If they keep seeing us together, they’ll wonder what’s up.”

“We can just tell them we’re dating.”

Your eyes widened, but JJ’s were mischievous. “Okay,” you said hesitantly, “but would they believe that? And how would that explain us always being in the water?”

JJ waved off your questions. “It’s an island. Unless it’s hell outside, no one’ll ever wonder why we’re in the water all the time. And”–he shoved his hands into his pockets, slightly nervous all of a sudden–“they totally would… so I gotta be honest: I’m not without a motive here. I do wanna teach you, but I also like that we can spend all that time alone.”

You wondered if JJ could hear your heart pounding even louder now. “JJ…”

“Pretty shitty way of saying I like you, huh? Don’t blame you if you want another teacher, some selfless asshole.”

“Why would I want them when I want you?” It came out so fast you didn’t realize what you were implying until it was too late, and JJ latched onto it, stepping closer to you.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” he said slyly, “but does that mean you like me, too?”

“Maybe I should find some selfless asshole instead.”

“But you want me.” JJ was only too happy pointing this out. “Or was I just hearing things?”

“No,” you admitted, hoping you weren’t blushing as much as you thought you were. “You’re the one who offered, and since I can’t exactly pay you top dollar...” You bit your lip. “What if us dating is for real?”

JJ grinned. “That’s way better than being paid top dollar! Only Kooks would throw money at everything.”

“And everyone,” you added, yelping in surprise when JJ picked you up and laughing as he spun you around.

“So when are we doing this? Now?” he asked, holding you safely in his arms. “Because I’m dying to see you out of that dress.”

“Careful, JJ, your real motive’s showing.”

“Where? Show me.”

“Right here,” you said, bringing your lips to his.

#outer banks #obx x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank/reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank #reader-insert #x reader #female reader

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jopzer · 8 months

Text

someone made the fatal mistake of indicating that they would like to see me explain why i put every song into the jamie tartt but it's just mitski playlist so. here's that. i cannot be held responsible for how unwell im about to get OR how long this will be LOL

i don’t smoke

so if you need to be mean be mean to me i can take it and put it inside of me

look at that little masochist.

starting off strong with the royjamie flavor on this one

but i don’t think it exclusively applies to rj, i think jamie’s sort of like. he is a dick he knows how to cope with people being dicks he understand it its easy to deal with. someone is a dick to me im going to be a dick back. short and sweet.

that mf is CONSTANTLY poking and prodding roy in s1 until that mf bites him. so that mf bites him. by s3 i think its less of “we are antagonizing each other as enemies” and more like. jamie voice you need to be a dick and i can take it.

if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room you can lean on my arm as you break my heart

this line specifically feels like the rj fight in the finale to me if we’re open and honest and vulnerable with one another

just don't leave me alone wondering where you are i am stronger than you give me credit for

we are all in agreement that jamie needs smothering. i think roy would be hyperaware of Not smothering him if they got into a relationship and i think jamie would feel a little bit like spongebob under the heat lamp

washing machine heart

baby will you kiss me already and toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart? baby, bang it up inside baby, though i've closed my eyes i know who you pretend i am

this is just me doing cocomelon shit to jamie tbh.

even if roy isn’t using jamie as a rebound i think maybe it would not be a stretch of imagination for jamie to Think roy is using him as a rebound

especially if contextualized with like. mom city jamie catching them holding hands in his bed and it’s keeley who pulls away not roy. delicious

nobody

and i don't want your pity i just want somebody near me guess i'm a coward i just want to feel alright

iiiii just think jamie is a sopping wet little creature. yeah he’d kick the shit out of me so so easily and he’s also a terrible asshole but have you considered he’s such a sad lonely little guy sometimes

i also do think he would feel like a coward for not wanting to be alone whether or not he would admit to that feeling

like we saw him back at city we saw him drop those mfs like a sack of potatoes we saw how desperate he was for connection when he came back to richmond

desperate for connection but also for the entirety of season one absolutely unwilling to form meaningful connections; maybe because of his dogshit Coping Mechanisms maybe because he's just on loan and knows he won't be here long maybe hes just an Asshole maybe a deadly cocktail of all of the above lol

i've been big and small and big and small and big and small again and still nobody wants me

yeah. this one feels especially violently jamie LOL

he's been hot shit. he's been richmond's best player. he's also been just one of a million top players at city. he's been the bully and he's been subject to the boys giving it back to him. he's been the center of attention he's been no one at all

and still keeley doesn't want him. roy doesn't want him. we don't really see him pursue anyone else whether or not you want to read that as rj/rjk/jk. fascinates me.

of course people want jamie we know he gets around but i'm talking Meaningful Connections here

remember my name

i need something bigger than the sky hold it in my arms and know it's mine just how many stars will i need to hang around me to finally call it heaven?

again. we see each other. jamie NEEEEEDS someone to smother him to death with love if he's not suffocating on it he doesn't want it!!

jamie surrounds himself with pretty things and pretty people and i don't think he thinks its meaningless or anything but i do think he definitely wants more and that's very evident come s3

'cause i need somebody to remember my name after all that i can do for them is done i need someone to remember me

see above point

but also. hold my hand through some willful misinterpretation of these lyrics. jamie wants to be the fucking best he wants to be a legend he wants to be listed among the greats. clearly not his sole motivation anymore during/post s3 but i do think it's still incredibly important to his character

he can't be some Guy from manchester he wants people to list "tartt" alongside pelé and maradona and what have you. i think this is critical to understanding jamie he refuses to be forgotten

cop car

i get mean when I'm nervous like a bad dog

we do dog metaphor around these parts.

but for realsies i think this is very much jamie even into s3

when he gets defensive he gets mean

like we see him definitely falter with zava, this isn't his only method of shutting down but i do think he's absolutely prone to snarling and biting when he doesn't know how to react

he gets defensive. reverts to being a dick. see: bar scene in finale

i was meant for running fast i pretended you were mine, it made me calm babe

walk with me. s3 royjamie.

or at least how jamie thinks about him if nothing else

which. you know. could help explain his lashing out at the bar.

i've loved many boys, i've loved many girls i don't think about the past, it's always there anyway

this is a cheap shot. i see a little tormented bisexual man and go is anyone gonna chew on that and then dont wait for an answer

mf does Not like dealing with his past or his traumas lol. it's always there anyway.

townie

'cause we've tried hungry and we've tried full and nothing seems enough

fuck off jamie is starving to death and he hasn't ever managed to get rid of that feeling. trust. i'm right about this.

he's fucked around and he's partied and he's done the reckless drinking and he's done the casual coke and he's done meaningful relationship but he can't get anything right.

he's been starved his whole life and he doesn't know how to fix it.

and i want a love that falls as fast as a body from the balcony, and i want a kiss like my heart is hitting the ground

we all know love and violence are inextricable for jamie. they're the same. he's still pulling those apart

i think he's very much the sort of guy who wants it fast and hard and intense and he wants to feel all consumed, wants it to feel dangerous and too much

i'm holding my breath with a baseball bat though i don't know what I'm waiting for i am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be

i think the holding my breath but i don't know why is Very applicable to jamie's whole deal.

like just in how he copes with his various traumas most of all james

which ties in very fun with the last line. like so much of his arc is that hes Not gonna be what his daddy wants him to be. he's gonna be what his body wants him to be.

i also think this is probably how jamie is in a relationship with roy or roykeeley like he's waiting for something that isnt ever going to come with them because they arent going to hurt him in a way he doesn't Want if they are together

dunno. he fascinates me.

old friend

i haven't told anyone just like we promised have you? every time i drive through the city where you're from i squeeze a little

this verse right here is so so so very royjamie to me okay

we know jamie doesn't like people Poking around in his relationships on TOP of you know. violent homophobia in football world

secret little torrid affair between the two of them. lives in my brain

abbey

i am hungry i have been hungry i was born hungry what do i need?

come onnnnnnnn

this is so jamie it makes me want to pass out

he's so fucking hungry he's always searching for something to hold onto or tear into with his teeth. jamie and hunger are like synonyms to me.

alongside the inability to name what it is he's hungry for!

incapable of admitting that it's love! it's always been love!! most especially from the people he's refusing to accept it from!!

i am something i have been something i was born something what could i be?

jamie's whole life is built on Being Somebody; he is a young, sexy, rich, famous prem player like. he is Somebody. he's Something. he's a footballer but like

who is he beyond that?

i think perhaps mr tartt would have a little bit of trouble answering that one

valentine, texas

let's step carefully into the dark once we're in, i'll remember my way around who will i be tonight? who will i become tonight?

this one may be sort of a stretch but i think jamie very much sort of molds himself to what he knows someone will like in interpersonal relationships?

like he's very head strong very loud personality but when we see him alone with keeley and we see him alone with roy and see him alone with ted they're all Such different people

which is aided by the fact theyre all sort of in different points of his character arc

but i also think he sort of cant help himself when he's alone with someone

stay soft

you stay soft, get beaten only natural to harden up

don't think i really need to explain this one we all saw the boot scene

i am face down on my bed still not quite awake yet thinking of you i tuck my hand under my weight just tell me what you want to do tell me what you want to burn away 'cause i could be your stoker

i think this could be split into two sections but i think it functions SOOO well as one it is important

yeah i'm thinking of you in the low morning light. yeah i can be what you need i can burn away parts of both of us i can make you forget

love me more

if i keep myself at home i won't make the same mistake that I made for fifteen years i could be a new girl i will be a new girl

think this line is just very indicative of jamie's whole brainspace vis a vis his improvement and development

he wants to be someone else so bad by the time s2 comes around. ugh.

here's my hand there's the itch but i'm not supposed to scratch

he seems very much the type to deny himself things

obviously not like. fun stuff. casual stuff.

but i mean like. things that will make him seem Soft. love and what have ye.

i'm not supposed to be someone who wants something i'm not supposed to slake this thirst

be it for gay reasons or otherwise btw. i'm interpreting it bisexual style but you get the idea

i need you to love me more love enough to fill me up love enough to drown it out drown it out, drown me out

i cut some repetition and stuff for brevity's sake comma but

this verse right here. this is the real jamie of the song

fill me up. drown me out. i'm too much even for me (even if i think im gods gift to football).

need to be smothered!!!!! fill me up!!!!! drown it out!!!!! the buzzing in my head and the want in my lungs i cant take it take it from me!!

how do other people live? i wonder how they keep it up? when today is finally done there's another day to come

mom city sadboy era right here

i wash my hair but i don't use conditioner because like. what's the point!!!

should've been me

relive all the ways you still want me i haven't given you what you need you wanted me but couldn't reach me i'm sorry it should've been me

this is jamiekeeley to me

clearly it still tugs at him like. the funeral confessions and inviting to her brazil and fisticuffing in the dirt

whether or not he still feels romantically about her in s3 i think he probably still feels Bad about what a shit he was in s1 specifically to keeley

idk. maybe this one's just me. think he's very very very squirmy about her and roy's relationship to start and then it melts into something Different you know? should've been me. sorry.

geyser

you're my number one you're the one i want and you've turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come you're my number one you're the one i want and I've turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come

royjamie to me.

that line in s3 where keeley says she hasnt seen/heard about jamie being with anyone in a really long time. the way we know roy also not really accepting offers is he.

yall know the fic that's like. the first time they hook up, roy pauses mid thrust to say "this is a one time thing. i'm still messed up over keeley." that sort of vibe

and ram jamming the "had a poster of you on my wall when i was a kid. used to think you were the best." and teaching him to ride a bike and gravitating toward roy all the time and absolutely panting and drooling for his attention any way he can get it its all just like. yeah. you're my number one. you're the one i want.

feel it bubbling from below hear it call, hear it call hear it call to me constantly and hear the harmony only when it's harming me it's not real, it's not real it's not real enough but i will be the one you need the way i can't be without you i will be the one you need i just can't be without you

snifflin and sobbin

all points from the last bit also apply to this bit tbh..

i will be the one you need. i just can't be without you. but theres a fucking volcano in my chest that's telling me to cut ties and run that'll burn us both. i can only understand it when it hurts.

blue light

somebody kiss me, i'm going crazy i'm walking 'round the house naked

how long's a man meant to be alone??

also. well. he does walk around the house naked doesn't he.

he wants so deeply too i think he thinks being loved could fix him. even if it's temporary. even if it doesn't matter. maybe this is why he fucks around so hard in s1 maybe this is why he's still so messed up about keeley after they break up maybe this is why he's o obsessed with roy. we'll never know but man do i think about it!

out there i'm a sharp knife

look me in the eyes and tell me this isn't what the prick signal thing is about

he is a sharp knife. he is cutting through opposing teams he's such a shit and he's efficient and useful and good at what he does

there's something smart to be said about this one specifically but my brain is feeling a little bit like mush

pink in the night

i glow pink in the night in my room i've been blossoming alone over you and i hear my heart breaking tonight i hear my heart breaking tonight do you hear it too?

i'm a big boy i can admit to this being self indulgent

royjamie innit tho

just love the flavor of jamie thinking its unrequited and hes a freak weirdo for being into roy (his ex's ex, his frenemy, his coach, the guy who's gone out of his way again ans again and again to make sure jamie is okay even when he does it with a headbutt and all grumbily and jamie is making it Weird by getting one ounce of affection and love and falling in love) (roy is thinking the same thing but opposite. trust.)

i could stare at your back all day i could stare at your back all day and i know i've kissed you before, but i didn't do it right can i try again, try again, try again

see this bit could actually be jamiekeeley

i never stopped pining. i know i fucked up. please can i try again try again try again i'm better i know how to love you now.

when you combine these two verses you get rjk. trust.

but i can also very much see rj going from a weird fwb thing to a relationship or at least jamie pining over him so much it makes him sick and pretending those kisses are Something. do you get me. you get me.

once more to see you

in the rearview mirror, i saw the setting sun on your neck and felt the taste of you bubble up inside me but with everybody watching us, our every move we do have reputations we keep it secret won't let them have it

SHUT UP!!!!!! ROYJAMIE ANTHEM SHUT UP!!!!!!!

shut up. are you kidding me.

not only do we know jamie is incredibly cagey about people shoving their fingers into his (personal?) love life, we know that this would be Their secret maybe always, maybe to start, no one on this big blue ball would explicitly Know about them

people guess and they guess right but this relationship is sacred its secret its Theirs

they have reputations, after all

and letting people know is opening them both up to a whole world of horrible no good very bad shit storm and and and

aguhuguhaughagaguayga

so come inside and be with me, alone with me alone, with me alone if you would let me give you pinky promise kisses then i wouldn't have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart

ok this imagery just kinda makes me nauseous move along

thursday girl

glory, glory, glory to the night that shows me what I am as i go to the party on my knees saying take it oh please

party girl isnt he

think we could talk about that as a persona/way to cope but. that might be making things a little deeper than they are. i might be in too deep about mr tartt

and tell me no tell me no tell me no tell me no somebody please tell me no

this however is not me in too deep this is just real

on hand and knee begging someone to tell him no. sometimes it's ted most of the time it's roy. what are you gonna do

a loving feeling

what do you do with a loving feeling if the loving feeling makes you all alone? what do you do with a loving feeling if they only love you when you're all alone?

can we talk about royjamie i've been dying to talk about royjamie

really into the image of jamie pining and being sooo fucking angry about it. how did i get here this is BULLSHIT!!!

i think there is an understanding that they Can't be public even if they Are in a relationship and jamie doesn't even necessarily Want people to know about them but he is fucking punching a wall about it in the privacy of his own home

^ that bit is for the last line ONLY. separate thoughts, making you all alone and loving all alone

i think this could also very very easily be rjk with the trope we all know and love: rk as an established couple and jamie knowing he's just a third to spice things up for them. whether or not he actually is is between you and your maker.

holding hands under a table meeting up in your bedroom making love to other people telling each other it's all good kisses like pink cotton candy talking to everyone but me i'm stayin' on later just in case you come up and ask to leave with me

sorry you want me to believe this is not rj? you want me to believe in my heart of hearts this isn't exactly where they start? i don't believe you. you are lying to yourself and to me.

first love/late spring

wild women don't get the blues but I find that lately i've been crying like a tall child

you saw mom city. you get it.

one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i'm on baby tell me "don't" so i can crawl back in

he's a good listener by s3 aint he

i just think its interesting who he's listening to. okay

and i was so young when i behaved twenty five yet now i find i've grown into a tall child

i think jamie definitely had to fend for himself a lot as a youngin as the only child of a single mom who was clearly struggling

everyone is always (rightly) calling him a child in s1 but have they considered he's just a 23 y/o teenage girl

i think the "such a child." line from roy uhhh really struck him please look at his face after roy says this. i'm not even making this a royjamie verse but clearly that struck him in some sort of way

to have your childhood hero look you in the eye and belittle you so clearly and concisely in a way that very clearly stung

i dunno. fascinates me. fascinating little creature that jamie tartt.

goodbye, my danish sweetheart

there's nobody better than you it took me a while 'til i knew but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? it just took me a while 'til i knew

jamiekeeley w, this song.

i think it's also a very rose colored glasses way to view rj

which you know what. makes it a very good rjk song doesnt it.

so, i don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory i'm not the girl i ought to be, but maybe when you tell your friends you can tell them what you saw in me and not how i turned out to be

pure unadulterated jamiekeeley right here.

i fucked it up. i'm not who i'm supposed to be. i'm not who i was supposed to be for you. but maybe when you tell people about me and about us you can tell them who you wanted me to be because he's better than who i am.

ugh.

there's some kind of burning inside me it's kept me from falling apart and i'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart but it's kept me from falling apart

this is so so so so so so jamie. come ON.

there is a fire in him and he doesn't really know how to field it or when to fan it and its burning through him in s1/most of s2.

it's launched him into being one of the best in his sport but it's also ruining the good things around him

little idiot does NOT understand human connection in s1. love him bad.

you're a battler, jamie.

now here i lay as i wonder about you would you just tell me what i'm meant to do? 'cause i've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew you can see how it's blossomed for you

you know who's really really good at telling jamie what to do.

and i don't mean to make your heart blue but could we be what we're meant to be? i'm just about to beg you, please and then, when you tell your friends you can tell them what you saw in me and not the way i used to be

back to jk with this one. i personally believe it's very rjk but it's textually very jk.

i'm better than i was. please believe in me. lets try again and lets be better than we were i know how to love you now.

humpty

i broke our belongings they're all on the floor the room is now empty nothing left to throw all the eggshells are on the ground and i try, i'm trying to pick them up but they crack and crumble, it's all too much too frail for me to touch

idk if i can really justify this one much outside of my own head it's just real okay.

i think jamie knows he chronically fucked up with keeley. i think he also knows he can and will lash out with very little provocation.

he's trying to pick up what he fucked up (think early s2) but it's a fucking nightmare and he's gonna have to slog around with tweezers to pick up the pieces of what he fucked

i'm realizing this song is very roy also but of course it is they're the same guy as much as they are fundamentally different

i broke what you gave me but you kept giving more and I'm sorry for taking but I keep wanting more, more, more

see all above points and ttb for my thoughts about the black hole in jamie tartt's chest

shame

i never was very good i haven't been so good but right outside the door nobody knows they're right outside the door and they don't know how it feels so good it feels so good

right outside the door everyone knows. they know it.

i think this ones sort of up to interpretation

idk. is it sexy? is it the ache in him in knowing how awful he was for so long? is it both and neither?

my brain is turning to mush i think. too much jamie in the diet

class of 2013

mom, i'm tired can i sleep in your house tonight? mom, is it alright if i stay for a year or two?

listen. jamie does not have this brand of mommy issues. i'll own up to that.

i hear the word "mom" and enter a fugue state thinking about mom city

this one's just for me it doesn't have to make sense

liquid smooth

i'm liquid smooth, come touch me, too and feel my skin is plump and full of life i'm in my prime i'm liquid smooth, come touch me, too i'm at my highest peak, i'm ripe about to fall, capture me or at least take my picture kuzurete yuku maeni i'm pulsing, my blood is red and unafraid of living beginning to end

c'mon.

he is a fine young thing. and sneaking in the "before i fall apart?" yeah. real.

jamie thesis. i'm young and sexy i'm in my fucking PRIME touch me take a picture of me remember me remember me i'm holding on by the skin of my teeth. don't look too hard because i might start to crumble in your hands.

brand new city

i think my fate is losing its patience i think the ground is pulling me down i think my life is losing momentum i think my ways are wearing me down

i think you could narrow this moment of his down to mom city where he is just so Lost.

but i think more appropriately you could absolutely name his whole arc in late s1/early s2

this stupid life i stupid lead is causing everything to crash down around me but i don't know how else to live or act or behave

i'm jamie fucking tartt!!

but if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn't know how to be alive

i just think this is him don't mind me

like obviously he's more than his pretty he is jamie fucking tartt and he's a shooting star at what he does. yeah, i work hard. but.

i also think being pretty and being desired is his like. number two personality trait

or at least thats what he wants us to see him as. you know??

eric

you like control, well, i do too take off my clothes and watch me move you can come closer, i'll let you hurt me how you choose

well. we've all seen how roy and jamie interact with one another haven't we.

but how long, how long can we play this way i'm tired, i'm tired of not loving you my heart, my heart wants to hold you but i know, i know, i know the rules blue light, dark room, the white of your teeth as you smile at my trembling shoulders but your skin, did you notice your skin it cries a soft weep like mine i'll sell, i'll sell my heart to you what's my, what's my, what's my price? how 'bout, how 'bout just a part of you? 'cause i want, i want, i want, i want i want, i want, i want, i want, i want

i really did try to narrow this down and not include almost uhhhh the whole rest of the song but good GOD. royjamie anthem.

jamie wants SOOOO BADLY!!!!!! but has almost certainly convinced himself it's just sex with roy!!! doesnt matter if roy is tits over tail obsessed with him (canonical) or if it actually just IS rebound sex.

this is real to me. sorry. royjamie anthem.

he wants.

door

i looked out at the dark and wondered how could I have lost it? a hopeless violence i named it love

so. i did not want to include an entire song twice in a row but this song very much tells a story you kinda gotta listen to the whole thing to get the picture

but

i think this one is VERY jamiecore.

denying himself this integral part of himself as both like. a man living in a very masculine sphere of the world on top of being a victim of abuse that canonically leans in on his masculinity

swearing to be so tough his dad could never call him soft again??

and also jamie's whole like. proximity to love and violence and presentation and consumption

idk if this is making any sense but god it IS real.

i lost this part of me and this part was love and real human connection and it is a gnawing biting clawing thing i need to love and be loved in a way that scares me and most often with teeth tearing into me. augh.

real men

real men don't need other people, and real men suck it in real men don't flinch or bleed in public oh, i think i'm a real man

look at me in my eyes and tell me this isn't Exactly jamie's thought process in s1. arguably even through his character arc to the end.

though honestly, sir all i wanna do is get naked in front of you so you can look me up and down and give me your love for being so good but little boys hold me, color me praise me, make me feel lovely for a little while so little boy, say you want me 'cause, well, i can't take it go ahead do it, do it

sorry. you want Me? a royjamie? to be normal about these verses?

especially when jamie's whole thing is fucking. making himself desirable and putting on a show. peacocking is his #1 favorite activity of all time.

and roy's whole thing is. well. roy's whole thing. watching him with his eyes glued to the little fuck even when he's sucking his teeth so so so angrily and spitting mad

i just think jamie loves an audience whether or not its good for him and roy can't do anything but watch. they're trapped. sisyphiean in nature aint it.

#beebles #jamie tartt #ted lasso #royjamie #royjamiekeeley #jamiekeeley #those ones are on a technicality but i think probably important to tag #disclaimer: this is for fun #also if anyone has thoughts or additions or anything for the love of god hmu #im so so crazy rabid insane about mr tartt #um this was very fun actually.#havent done this since i did it for all my terror playlists i forget how fun it is every time

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thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch · 1 year

Text

This is technically a continuation of this post!!

-x-x-x-

prohero!bakugou who's been gone on an overseas mission for months with no contact to those who he left in Japan

any down time he's got he's at least reading through the texts he gets

a few from his mom, a couple from his dad, maybe a handful from his friends about all sorts of random shit he may or may not care about

then he's reading all of yours. He'll read all the new ones, then if he's really feeling his Emotions(TM) he'll start rereading everything

he'll also catch up on his voicemails, even if he doesn't have very many because most people know he won't listen to them or he'll go into his mailbox and just start mass deleting

but he does listen and keep all of yours

i mean, why wouldn't he? he asked you to do exactly what you've been doin everyday since he left

highlight of his days honestly

he's convinced that its the daily messages from you that help keep him off the next flight home- it sort of eases the urge to just go back home

but he does the mission from start to finish and when his date back is finally set he's itching to get back to familiar sights, soil, smells and the place where you are

but even when he knows when he'll be home, he still has no jurisdiction to tell you that

he'd have to wait until he's on the plane back home or even landed before he could whip out his phone and speed dial your phone

when he's packing his bag for his return trip, he's never been so disorganized in his life

when he packs for trips, he always prefers to separate everything. all his shirts are folded, his pants are rolled for optimum space, boxers are neat with his socks, toiletries are sealed in a waterproof bag and placed as flat as can be

now?

he's thrown all his shit inside the case and made it fit by force. squishing it all down and pinching the zipper together

he did not care if the zipper busted- he was ready to go the hell home

the entire flight home he was jittery. leg bouncing, finger tapping, arms crossed

he tried sleeping to pass the time, but he couldn't seem to calm down

most of the returning heroes who were coming home with him didn't even try and strike up conversation to make the flight go by quicker in fear of him snapping at them out of sheer impatience

when the plane finally lands, he's first off the plane and first to bag claim and first out the door onto the familiar streets of japan

"holy fuckin' shit," he's mutter, finally feeling relaxed before whipping out his phone and texting you

-wake up-

it was the middle of the afternoon and he didn't know if you were even home or asleep, but it was the only thing he could think to say strangely enough

-you can text!!-

he chuckles as he pulls his suitcase along with him against a wall. standing in the shade, he's attention is solely focused on his phone

he's glad you responded so quickly

it's been so long he couldn't remember your schedule anymore or if it had changed since he left

-i can do a lot more than that-

without much more prodding, your contact was flashing over his screen and he waits maybe a second (if we're being generous) to answer and push his phone to his ear

visibly exhaling when you start talking

"katsuki!"

"you don't need to shout, stupid"

"i'm excited, don't shout shame me. where are you? it's pretty loud over there. meeting? are you supposed to be on the phone right now"

he chuckles at your skeptical nature- like he'd break rules on a big time job in the first place

he's not that stupid

"i'm at the airport, i'm not gonna get my ass railed for being on my own damn phone"

despite his cursing, you laugh

then you register 'airport'

"you're coming home?!"

"nah, babe, i'm already here. come get me."

"what?!"

he barks at the sounds of your rushing around the house, probably scrambling to slip on the easiest pair of shoes you have and a jacket

"i'll be there in like 10 minutes. 20 is traffic is bad!"

"the traffic is always bad"

"i'm hanging up!"

he could hear your excitement before the line cuts and he's grinning before he's sending small texts to his friends signaling his return

when he sees your car pull up to the curb, he's pushing off the wall he's been resting against and you're jumping out of the car

he nearly has a heart attack since you didn't look at the road before rushing out and car were just whipping behind you

"moron! watch where you're going!" he's shouting at you as you run up to him

his grip abandons his suitcase handle to grab you as you ran straight into his chest, clinging to him as he took steps backwards from your crashing impact

his eyes almost rolled into his skull at the feel of you in his arms again after so long

he was positive he'd finally be able to have a good nights rest tonight, he can feel it in his exhausted bones

you pull away from him just enough to look into his eyes and he can see the shine of tears in yours, his hands resting on your hips just enough to sway you back and forth

"welcome home," you greet him

"yeah," he kisses your head "i'm home"

and he wasn't going anywhere else anytime fuckin' soon

#katsuki bakugou #bakugou #bakugou fluff #bakugou scenarios #bakugou headcanons #bnha scenarios #bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #katsuki fluff #mha scnearios

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banguette · 1 year

Text

Remember Me Once More | Ted Shackleford (The Man in The Yellow Hat) x f. Reader

description: He stayed. You left. 6 years after your last meeting, a game of circumstance lands you in the same room as him - and his monkey. With 2 weeks of working in close proximity, things are bound to come to light. The question is, how will he perceive it?

word count: 14.7k

warnings: they are both idiots!!! who are in love!!! angsty feelings, cursing a lot of talk of canada and the us as well as culinary schools (i did my research but i'm not from either of those places so pls forgive me if some things are wrong), some words are in italian because the pisghettis, awkward conversations, ted is a nerdy dilfy hotshot museum director, reader is a chef, sex fantasies (a LOT of them), they get trapped in a room, many many apologies, flashbacks to college, it's never explained but ted calls oc chowder, oc has two moms because we love diversity, brief mention of 'the office' and julius the monkey, sweet confessions, SO MUCH KISSING!!, cheesy lines are exchanged, boners, ted has a big virgin dick, experienced reader, oral sex (male and female recieving), a bit of a hair kink, clit play, ted is a bit too excited sometimes, bickering like they're an old married couple, reader has an iud, unprotected sex (do not try!! i repeat, do not try!!), several orgasms, creampies (yes, creampieS), missionary, riding, they act like horny teenagers, ted's butt deserves its own warning so here it is, brief mentions of bath sex, old wounds finally heal, the three of them are basically a family, public speaking, y/n is a bit unhinged, more sweet confessions, allusions to exhibition (pls keep in mind this is my first smut fic, be kind!!)

cover by: me (illustrations featured belong to their rightful owners)

note: I do not regret this book nor do I condone it. Fueled by Ted TikToks, inspired by 'Maroon' by Taylor Swift and 'Don’t You Remember?' by Adele.

Ted Shackleford was not a malevolent person.

Ask anyone and everyone who knew him; he was the last person to hold a grudge against anyone. His monkey had flooded his apartment - thrice! But his response every time he discovered George scratching his head uncomfortably and awkwardly giggling amid the soapy bubbles and rubber duckies surrounding him was to just sigh before proceeding to clean the place.

But you? You were a different story. Every time he recalls the blurry memory of you walking away from him - the last time he ever saw you - he only vividly remembers the anger bubbling up inside his chest. He only remembers the deep frown etched on his face, and the furrowing of his eyebrows as he dug his nails into his palm. Was it selfish to only recall what he felt at that moment, rather than the sight of you hurriedly making your way to your plane without sparing him another glance? To look back on perhaps the most significant turning point in his life and only focus on his emotions rather than figuring out why you left in the first place?

He didn't know. And, to be quite frank, a part of him doesn't care. Altruism was his one principle in life and constantly bent over backward 24/7 to make everyone happy; surely he could afford to be unkind in this one avenue.

But...

Some nights - including tonight - he thinks of the other memories you shared. That elementary school Halloween party, where you warned him that he was going to get teased relentlessly for dressing up as Percy Shelley (whom he was weirdly obsessed with back then), but come the day you surprised everyone by strolling in as Mary - Frankenstein plush and all in your hand. Yeah, you both still got ridiculed by all the Scooby-Doos and Rugrats in your class, but no bullying could have deterred the warmth he felt inside when you leaned over and whispered, "It's either both of us or none of us."

There was also that day in freshman year when you guys cycled through town, the sun setting behind you as you rushed home to make it in time for curfew. How you'd tripped over a train track and he'd tried his best to clean and dress the small gash on your knee, and how you looked at him as if he'd hung up the stars in the sky to accompany the moon when he matched his pace to yours and made it home extremely late. He'd gotten scolded, but it didn't matter. Not as long as you were safe. Besides, all was forgiven when you presented him with a history book in addition to his favorite cookies over a week later. The book inspired him to pursue history and eventually landed him a career as a museum director at the Met. Without you, he doesn't know how he wouldn't have gotten here.

It's that exact realization, however, that causes him to shift to his side on the bed and shake off all thoughts of you. He was approaching 30, for god's sake, and had a life to think about now rather than you; the one that got away. He lists them all in his head: a rambunctious monkey not even the age of 3, the meeting he has tomorrow for his new gallery opening, his friends... If it meant that, to focus, he had to drown out his thoughts (and the feeling of your soft lips pressing against his that one time) to the sound of George peacefully snoring in the room beside him, then so be it.

You had to remain in the past because Ted doesn't have space for you in his future.

The last thing you want to be confronted with after your tedious 6-hour flight to New York City is bitter coffee, but of course, that is what you get. The minute the foul-tasting liquid grazes your taste buds you spit it out onto the pavement, where the crowds don't even bother reacting to your gross public act of self-humiliation. It is at that moment when you truly feel like you are in New York, never mind the countless welcoming posters you'd seen passing through the airport. Being back in America after half a dozen years abroad felt dizzying - like something you'd spent so long carrying with you around British Columbia had finally lifted itself from your shoulders when you landed. You finally felt at home.

That being said, you weren't here for good just yet. Everything that you owned was still tied up in your apartment back in Vancouver, it depended on the outcome of your upcoming interview on whether or not you'd be moving here permanently. In the meantime, you'd spend the next few days here exploring the Apple; it's unlikely, but perhaps you could secure some last-minute Broadway tickets, or take a gander through the Central Park Zoo, or maybe even go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Right now though, the coffee had done nothing and you were more focused on getting to your hotel and crashing into the comfortable bed. Jetlag was a bitch, but it was one you were willing to give into.

After checking in, the concierge handed you a bunch of pamphlets on things to do while you're in New York before smiling and sending you on your way. Leaning against the elevator wall, luggage in tow, you flipped through them. You stop at the Met's in particular; despite being a culinary student, a dear old friend had gotten you somewhat interested in history and museums have kind of drawn you in since. You unfolded the paper, glazing your tired eyes over the words, briefly looking over the pictures.

Until you spot a familiar face staring back at you.

In your confusion, you bring the paper closer to your face. Surely it couldn't be - oh my god, it is. Your 'dear old friend' was right there on the paper, smiling and beckoning you to visit with a small monkey on his shoulder. Right as the elevator pinged, you folded the paper and removed the picture from your sight. Slight change of plans, you thought internally as you walked towards your hotel room. Maybe you wouldn't be visiting the Met after all.

"George! I'm home!" Ted yelled, walking inside and setting his keys into the designated bowl, and hanging his hat up on the hook. The day had been grueling, some cuddles with his favorite non-human in the world were all he was looking forward to. George was equally as excited to catch the man in the yellow hat up on his day; he'd spent his time playing with Hundley and one of the things they did together was making a mess in George's bedroom. Ted groaned, muttered 'I'll clean this up later,' under his breath before scooping the primate up in his arms and settling down on the couch. Together, they watched a few episodes of the show they'd started before Ted left to go shower.

As the water trickled down his body and he lathered the shampoo onto his hair, Ted recounted key points from his meeting. The new Invention of Cooking exhibit would be one of their grandest yet; aside from collecting hundreds of utensils, tools, and recipes from all around the world and from different points in history, they would also be flying in top culinary experts and food history enthusiasts for the opening. Having so many people come in and also having the entire gallery focused on food itself meant that they would have to bring caterers in, and obviously, Ted knew no one better to perform the task than the Pisghettis. He'd have to drop by their restaurant after work tomorrow to discuss the appetizers, main course, and dessert platters that they'd be serving. Aside from that, there were still a bajillion other things to do and only a month left to do it. He was losing his mind the more often he was left alone with it.

Once he got out, he tied a towel along his waist and ran another through his hair before making his way to the kitchen to make dinner. He only needed to heat up what he'd made the day before anyway, so he split the leftovers into two bowls and threw them in the microwave. While it was in there, he changed into his loose sleeveless shirt paired with his boxers; all his signature yellow. He made his way back to the kitchen before calling George over, and they made light conversation as they ate.

Later on in the evening, when Ted had read him his favorite bedtime story and tucked him into bed, he clambered onto the balcony and started to water his mini-garden. Halfway into this routine, he paused and looked beyond the railings to the brightly lit streets below him. In combination with the chill air, it was enough to make even the toughest day seem so distant from where he was now. Keyword: was. Ted had originally purchased the apartment solely for the view, but now he just felt lonely gazing down at it. He wished he had someone to share it with. There was always George, and he wouldn't trade that little guy for anything, but you could only converse with a monkey so many times. He longed for someone to be by his side, to have deep conversations, and also to joke around with. Someone who could do more than nod and make a few, albeit cute, sounds.

His mind flickers to an image of you for a millisecond. Then, he finishes watering all the plants and shuffles towards his cold, empty bed for another night.

You knock on the door anxiously, your gaze focused on the couple sitting at the dinner table in front of you. "Excuse me, I'm here for the interview?"

"Ah, you must be Y/N!" Netti, as you learn her name to be, says as she leads you to where her husband is sitting. "How was the flight, dear? Thank you for visiting on such short notice."

You wave her off, "My pleasure, I've been meaning to visit here anyway. You guys did me a favor!" Uh-oh. Was that too much? Possibly too little? They didn't seem to mind, both of them making polite conversation with you as Chef Pisghetti contentedly petted the kitten on his lap. They were extremely nice, you'd noted. Much better than some of the past bosses you'd had. At least, you'd hope they would be your bosses. Another thing you noticed was how each time one was speaking, the other would put their undivided attention on them and their eyes shone with adoration. It showed just how comfortable and in love they were with each other, and a fuzzy feeling filled your chest.

"Let's get into business, Y/N," Pisghetti says once the conversation fizzles out. "Your resume's extremely impressive; 4 years of school in Le Cordon Bleu and The Culinary Arts School of Ontario? Apprenticeship at the CN Tower? Ammazza! You're brilliant!" He grins sheepishly and you smile back in return. "I have one question though," He makes an inquisitive face.

"Yes?" Stress builds in your chest, scared of what was to come.

He throws his hands in the air excitedly. "When can you start?"

That's how you find yourself getting a pseudo-training session from the two for the rest of the time. The restaurant was closed for the day, so you got to learn the layout of their kitchen, how Pisghetti cannot accept anything less than perfection (which suits you fine anyway being a perfectionist yourself), and even take a tour through their spectacular rooftop garden. A lush green farm amidst the busy streets of New York, could you imagine? Most importantly of all, you learn about Gnocchi, the Pisghetti's kitten. The cutie had been saved from a tree by one of their firefighter friends a few months back, and once the pair had seen her they couldn't look back. Gnocchi was now part of their routine and soon would be a part of yours too. Everything revolved around the spoiled but loveable creature.

By the time it rolled around to half past 5, the Pisghetti's handed you some food so you wouldn't have to spend another day eating cup noodles and microwaveable mac and cheese and allowed you to hang your apron up. However, just as you said your goodbyes and were about to walk through the kitchen door, you heard a jingle come from the main dining area. "That's weird," You said to Netti and the chef went out to greet whoever came by. "Weren't you guys closed?"

"Don't worry about it tesoro mio, it's probably our friends. They told us they were going to drop by."

You nodded your head and hugged Netti one last time before making your way to the front entrance. At first, the odd and lanky yellow shape didn't register as anything familiar in your peripheral vision. It was only when the figure turned around to acknowledge you that you felt the wind get knocked out of your lungs. Your mouth felt dry and your knees felt weak as your eyes snagged onto those of the man in front of you. You felt zaps from his staring register in your brain, sending tingles down your spine to the tips of your toes.

Who knew that after so long, Ted Shackleford would still have the same effect on you?

It was strange. He always thought that, if he saw you again, he'd feel the same anger and resentment as he did when you left. But as your eyes connect and lock onto yours, all he feels is the sharp pain of old wounds reopening. An eternal flame of longing was reignited within him, surrounded by a moat of suffering.

After picking George up from Professor Wiseman's office after work, they made the journey to the Pisghetti's diner so that he could muck around for a bit with Gnocchi and Ted could discuss the menu for the opening with the chef. He'd called in beforehand to ask them if he should drop by the apartment or the restaurant, and they told him they'd be in the latter. Something about an interview with a girl who flew in? He didn't know. Forget pushing it to the back of his head, he'd thrown the piece of information out completely.

Pushing through the red door, the duo was soon joined by Pisghetti. George soon ran off once he spotted Gnocchi, making happy little monkey noises while doing so, whereas Ted settled down with Pisghetti and they had a light banter. "Like I was saying, Chef," Ted said. "I want you to go all out with this. Give it the full Pisghetti treatment. I'm thinking maybe 5 courses if you're up for it, some cleansers in between."

The cook nodded excitedly as he launched into his plan. "I've already been testing for this one recipe - I'll probably serve it as an appetizer - something I'm calling my giardino sliders. Oh, you'll love it! È magnifico!"

Had it not been for him keeping an eye out for George, he probably wouldn't have noticed the figure quietly making her way out of the kitchen. But he did. And once his eyes spotted her, his face turned to her and his jaw dropped. Pisghetti was unbothered at first, but once he realized the other wasn't responding anymore, his head shot up and he looked between the two of you, not sending the tension. "Ah, Y/N, this is Ted. He's a friend of mine. Teddy, this is Y/N - our new hire." He paused for a moment. "Hey, since she's going to help me make all of this anyway, maybe Y/N should join us here. What do you think?" Before either could reply, Netti called her husband from the kitchen and he shuffled his way to her.

Then, for the first time in 6 years, you and Ted Shackleford were in the same room together.

It was the latter that first broke the ice. "Y/N..."

"Please don't say anything." You mumble out, clearly uncomfortable as you shift from one leg to the other.

Ted's heart sank. He'd say this is not how he'd envisioned your reunion, but that would mean he'd have to admit he imagined it in the first place.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, that sounded rude as hell." You say, shaking your head. "I mean, please don't tell Chef Pisghetti anything. I really, really need this job, Ted." You stared at him with your pleading eyes. Ted could only nod in return.

"Um, anyway. How- how are you?" You say, biting your lip.

"Good. Uh, I'm a museum director now. At the Met. Metropolitan Museum. Of Art." He choked out, barely being able to form a coherent thought.

"Yeah, I saw a picture. You had a monkey in your hands and said something about coming by for an exciting afternoon."

"That's George, he's actually mine. In fact, he's around here somewhere. Where'd he go? George?"

After a few seconds, you felt a tug at the hem of your dress. You looked down to see the young simian from the pamphlet happily meeting your sight before rushing to sit on Ted's lap. "I adopted him about 2 years ago, he's been with me since." He said while George nuzzled into the man's arms (is it logical to be jealous of a monkey?).

You genuinely grin, "He's sweet. Wasn't expecting you to have a monkey but I guess it makes sense."

"I really don't think you have a clue about who I am." He replied, almost snappily. His eyes widen as he realizes the implications of his words.

Silence. Your heart pounded inside of your chest.

Chef Pisghetti thankfully walked in at that moment, "Mi dispiace, Netti was having some trouble with one of the recipes - or rather, some trouble reading my handwriting." He giggled to himself. "Anyway, Y/N, I've kept you waiting long enough. You can go, I understand you're tired. You can join us for another meeting, see you tomorrow. Ciao!" He said.

Nodding your head meekly and uttering out a soft 'thanks', you hurried out of there. You weren't tired, actually, but you couldn't stand being around Ted for another second. Could this get any worse?

Lucky for you, Ted didn't come back the next day. The entire week, really. Or the next. George would pop by from time to time, with you quickly getting fond of the silly guy, but his owner (dad?) was nowhere to be seen. Maybe it was for the best. You don't need to be digging up any trauma, especially right now.

This good luck streak would end when Pisghetti asked you to hand deliver a parcel. To Ted. At the Met. It was cruel, how life was treating you. After two weeks of blissfully testing and experimenting with recipes once the restaurant had closed, fate had decided you were having too much of a fun time and sent down a terrible idea to shake things up a little, knowing you couldn't say no. You sigh as you hold the large box in your hands and climbed up the steps, hoping to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. It was once again after 5 and you craved nothing but the leftovers in the fridge (nowadays, you prefer to leave the cooking at work) and the new season of your favorite show.

"Excuse me, ma'am," An old white man dressed in an even whiter lab coat approached you. "No food allowed on the premises, please."

"Ah, I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding," You say, reasoning with him. "These are for Ted. Ted Shackleford? I believe he's the director?"

The man nodded his head in understanding, "Ah, yes! You must be the Pisghettis' new girl. Sorry for not realizing sooner, I'm Alvin Einstein. No relation to the big one, unfortunately. This way!" He said, leading you through some smaller almost unnoticeable doors along the wall to get to the director's office faster.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but you must not be local if you don't know who Ted is," Alvin pointed out as he ushered you inside the employee elevator. "Not that he's that well-known but people do recognize him in these parts."

"Yeah, I just came here from Ontario." You say in response, focusing on the ascending numbers as you got closer and closer to his office. "Started the job about two weeks ago."

Alvin nodded, briefly told you about the time he visited Ontario with his wife, and when the elevator reached its destination bid you off. "To the left!" He said. "You wouldn't miss it!" You face that direction as the doors of the lift close behind you and see a big door next to a plaque emblazoned with the words 'Director's Office - Theodore Shackleford' in gold. He was right, you couldn't miss it no matter how much you wanted to. You walk over and lift your hand, knocking once, twice, thrice.

You wait for a heartbeat before a faint 'Come in,' is heard from inside. You open the door and come face to face with Ted, sitting only a few feet away behind his giant desk with his reading glasses on his face. For one tiny split second that you would take to your grave, you imagine sucking him off underneath it as he takes an important call - beads of sweat trickling down his forehead as his glasses fog up - he'd clench his jaw, desperate to not moan and ruin your cover. God, he looked so fucking hot in his seat, even the absurd yellow suit draping over his curves and muscles deliciously.

His words snap you out of reality. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was expecting the Chef, I would've cleaned up a bit more had I known it was you. Come, sit. You're just in time for, err, linner?" He motions toward the seat in front of him, taking off his glasses to your disappointment.

You are about to protest when Ted shrugs you off. "Listen, I- I wanted to apologize. That was really rude of me to snap at you like that. You know that I'm not that type of person." He says, fiddling his thumbs.

"It's okay. Really, I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"For not telling the Chef anything. I don't really want to go back to Ontario; I'm kind of dreading picking up all my stuff. Had you said anything about our history, I could have been let go. I mean, he's your friend. He'd do anything to make you happy."

"Y/N," he sighed, rubbing his temples. Despite his tone, hearing him say your name was a treat in itself as if he'd coated it in everything that is good in this world before presenting it to you. "You know I'd never do that. And neither would he, I think. He's my friend but he'd be crazy to give up such a talented person as you."

Your heart fluttered, and you gave a small smile. Realizing his confession, he coughed and pointed to the bags. "So, what have you got for me?"

You walk him through the meals that had been prepared, sharing all the ingredients and ideas that culminated in them. You don't notice how he barely looks at the food and focuses on you instead. Eventually, he calls George in to try the food and even convinces you to have a few bites. Most of the time you talk about the kid;- mostly about how cheeky he is. He tells you how he once got stuck on the subway for the entire day, making Ted run all around New York to find him, but even moments like those are worth it because the bond between them is unbreakable. You found it endearing and secretly wished you got the same opportunity - a second chance to love Ted as freely as you did before, or at least could have.

George left as soon as you guys finished, already having arranged a playdate and sleepover with Charkie for that day. As he left, your minds were too buzzed from being in each other's company for the entire evening that you barely acknowledged the click behind you as you packed away. Ted had loved everything but gave a few notes here and there that you'd have to take up with Pisghetti. You beam warmly at Ted, giving your thanks once more before grabbing the door handle.

You tugged. Nothing.

You tugged again. Still nothing.

Third time in and you were panicking. Realizing your distress, Ted walked over (was his scent always this intoxicating?) and gave it a try himself before he outwardly groaned. "Crap." he said, "The doors automatically lock after 6 for security measures, George doesn't know that. It's stupid, I've been meaning to change it. Ugh. It just - it just became second nature to me you know?" He ran his fingers through his hair. You had to stop yourself from reaching out and playing with his tousled strands. On the other hand, he marched over to his desk and punched a few numbers in, and spoke firmly but politely into the phone. He was met with a disappointing response on the other end, causing a frown to settle on his face. After pleading for a bit more, he eventually returns the handset back in place. "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"Why, what's the verdict?"

"They can't get us out until 7 AM. We're going to have to spend the night here."

Nothing about this was ideal. You were sprawled over on the pull out couch, your back facing him as you try your hardest to fall asleep. Meanwhile, he'd have to periodically pull his eyes from your serene figure and try to focus on getting comfortable on the floor. He shouldn't be complaining, he'd practically forced you to take the bed. Still, being 28 meant that he didn't have the same body as he did when he was 18. He was definitely going to feel this tomorrow.

That being said, Ted doesn't know if he'd really call it unfortunate. When you'd started to leave, Ted was about to reach out and ask you to stay, to take a stroll with him. Reminisce about the past. Talk about why you left and why it felt like you took a piece of him with you. Anything. He just wanted to be near you. It had been so long. His nervous prayers were answered when the door refused to open. Sure, you weren't talking, but your presence itself was soothing.

He heard you shifting where you were laying down and looked over to see you staring at the ceiling, clearly unable to sleep. "Can't sleep?" he asks, giving in to temptation.

Your eyes quickly snap to him, and he feels them glaze over his chest. The suit was not at all comfortable to sleep in, so he'd loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt a little. He hadn't realized how it made him look seductive but seeing the way your eyes widened as you looked him up and down did cause pink to bloom on his cheeks and ears.

"Uh... sorry, what did you say?"

"Can't sleep?"

You lick your lips. "Um, yeah. Today's been a long day and it doesn't seem to be over anytime soon."

"I understand. Hey, sorry about this mess. This was not the way I envisioned this evening."

"Didn't you say you didn't know I was coming?" You say, giggling.

"You know what I meant!" He chuckles in return. "Is the couch uncomfortable? I haven't slept on it in a while, might be a bit stiff."

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's fine, I'm just restless." A blanket of silence covers you again, but this time it's not awkward. You move to sit properly on the couch, essentially telling him you're available to talk.

"We talked a lot about George while we were eating," Ted says first. "However I still don't have a clue about what you were up to when you were in Ontario. How've you been?"

"Well, I did two years at Le Cordon Bleu, but in my 3rd year I decided to transfer." You begin. "Partly because I wasn't meshing well with the other students and partly because; well, I could. I'd been offered a scholarship from CASO, so I did my last two years there. It sucks though, I really thought it would be my alma mater. I bought an apartment but after a year I fell out of love with it and soon I fell out of love with the entire province. So, I applied for the sous chef role in Pisghetti's and, well. Here I am."

"I'm sorry Le Cordon Bleu wasn't like what you'd seen in Julie & Julia - still don't understand what you see in it by the way -"

"Hey! Leave me alone."

" - But, I'm proud of you, Y/N. Your talent overshadowed our town."

You're left dumbfounded. "That's so sweet. Thank you. Truly." You say, playing with your hair. How could he say probably the nicest words you've ever received despite what you did? Surely Ted couldn't be that nice.

"What about you? I knew you were going places but I didn't expect you to end up here so soon." You inquisitively ask.

He scratches the back of his head. "It was all luck, really. I started off as an intern, but the previous director took notice of me and took me under his wing. I've been here for, what, 4 years now?"

"You were only 24?! Jesus, you must be the youngest museum curator ever. Why're you watering your accomplishments down?"

"Ha, I was far from the youngest. I believe that title belongs to a 5-year-old?"

"What? Wow." You say, bewildered. "Hey, isn't George under 3? Maybe you could help him beat both that record and be the first monkey to do so."

"That's - that's actually not that bad of an idea." He says, daydreaming about how chaotic that would be to even approach.

You take your chance. "I've been meaning to ask... what's with the yellow? You were never a big fan of the color growing up."

He falls shy. "It's going to sound really stupid, but I purposely tried to make myself look like a banana so that George would come to like me faster. Professor Einstein told me we associate ourselves with other objects better when we have a pre-established bond with them. I still don't know if he was trying to get a joke out of me, but I guess it worked. Look, the brown boots are meant to be the stem, and the polka dot tie is meant to be the seeds."

You make an 'Ahh' sound, realizing why he'd paired the odd combination together. "That's really smart, wow. But George loves you now, why keep wearing it?"

"I guess I haven't found the time to shift back." He replied, shrugging.

"We'll have to change that. Also, Julie & Julia is a very good movie thank you very much."

He gives you a lopsided grin in response. His gaze stays on your face. The silence envelops you both once more. You both stare into each other as if there were no other people in the world, your eyes sharing words that were hard to put out into the real world. "I missed you." he finally says. "I missed you like crazy, Y/N."

"I missed you too." You say, hesitantly. More than he could ever know.

"Why did you leave? You never gave me a real answer."

"It's complicated-"

"You seriously cannot say you expect to stroll back into my life like you never left after breaking my heart like that." He says, his voice getting firmer as he scoots closer to you. "I- I deserve better. You know I do. I deserve an answer."

A sigh escapes you. The truth had to come out one way or another.

6 years ago, you had an epiphany. You remember exactly where you were; Econ 101, senior year of college. Your mind was in a distant land even as you stared at the professor's whiteboard, but by the end of class, you'd come to a decision. This would be your last year doing anything related to economics; you were going to go to culinary school.

It wasn't that you were particularly bad at the subject, your heart just wasn't in it. Every day when you walked into school, all you wished to do was go back to the 4 walls of your kitchen;- smell the aroma as the onions carmelized on the pan, the repeated action of the knife chopping through different vegetables, the sizzle of the wok as you added oil to it. You wouldn't find your heart calculating the GDP or GNP bullcrap, it would always be there at home standing in front of the stove figuring out what seasonings the meal needed.

The moment the realization hit you, you rushed to your shared dorm with Ted. You know he'd stayed at home today and wasted no time in letting him be the first one to know of your new decision. He's a bit surprised to see not just you but the frazzled expression on your face, but ushers you inside anyway. You unload everything that was on your mind from the last hour onto him and eagerly wait to hear what he thinks.

"I think," He says, stroking his chin. "You should do it."

"Are you sure? You don't think it's too late? I mean, 4 years of my life have gone into this already."

"Don't forget this is the rest of your life, chowder. I'd much rather you do something you actually love rather than something you only picked because of convenience."

"I don't know, Ted... It's in Canada. I'll be there for a long time, too."

He reached out to grab your hands, your cheeks turning a shade of pink that you hope would go unnoticed by him. "Y/N. You've always been there for me, and I can't thank you enough for it. Let me be the same for you. It doesn't matter how long, or how much, or whatever - as long as you're happy. Take the leap, apply for Le Gordon Blah-blah." You grin, lost in his cheerful eyes.

That was the push you needed to finally tip yourself over the edge. He was by your side when you repeated the same process with your moms (slightly less rambly this time). They were skeptical at first - who wouldn't be? - but eventually accepted that this was your life and you were more than capable enough to handle it. He was also by your side when you applied for the program. He'd helped you write and rewrite your application several times, batting your hand away from your mouth every time you got the urge to bite your nails. Bless his heart, he even clicked on the upload button when you got too scared to.

When you were accepted, it was his arms you ran to. Ted has always been your number-one supporter, hasn't he?

Of course, with only a few classes left to go before you got handed your degree, you decided to stick around for the final exams. It was pretty funny to compare your calm and serene mood compared to your friends who were freaking the absolute hell out - most of all, Ted. He completely forgot that self-care was a thing, spending hours hunched over his history textbooks and going for hours without food. His reading glasses were on him 24/7 - not that you minded. Still, you had to step in for him at that moment; prepping his meals, dragging him to bed, and massaging his back every time it started to hurt. He kept on thanking you, but you brushed them off. It was honestly the least you could do, and you knew he would do the same for you.

One night, you dragged him from his studies to watch The Office with you. "It'll help your brain relax a bit. You can't keep cramming everything into your brain." He grunts but complies anyway, resting his head on your shoulder while Jim and Dwight plan Kelly's birthday. It's more background noise, really, as your focus is more on him instead of their on-screen antics. You hear his breathing slow down and his eyelids flutter shut. You tread your hands through his soft hair, knowing that it always helps lull him to sleep.

Soon enough, you notice how you're synchronizing your breathing to his. It amuses you at first, but a bolt of fear strikes your entire body. This time next year - heck, in just a few months, actually - you wouldn't have the chance to do this. Yes, you weren't going that far - Canada was literally the next country. But it was still a 6-hour flight, and it was still a 3-hour time difference. And it's not like you could come over every so often or expect him to - that would create a huge dent in the already little savings you had. Could these moments be your last with Ted for at least the next 4 years? Your glossy eyes turn to Ted's stoic sleeping face.

Maybe you'll allow yourself to be brave just this once.

Slowly shifting yourself to face him, you bring yourself closer. Your mouth ghosts his, your breath fanning over his skin. You stay that way for a few heartbeats, contemplating whether or not this was a good idea. You inch in closer and closer until your lips brush over his...

And that's when you feel his hands frame your cheeks, his face crashing into yours. Your brain doesn't absorb the shock of him not only being awake but also kissing you back at first but caution is thrown into the winds as you pull him closer. Soon your back hits the sofa below and he's over you, desperate to reach each and every crevice of your mouth. You tilt your face to allow him to get deeper, hands over his to hold him in place because you were scared he was going to pull away. His glasses knock into your face but neither of you seems to notice.

When Ted closed his eyes, he expected to wake up to the sight of Dwight taping up half-deflated balloons to the ceiling - not the most beautiful woman in the world kissing him. And really, what could he have done except kiss back with triple the fierceness? He loves how your lips mold against his perfectly, his tongue running against your bottom one to make you open up even more, eliciting a moan from the depths of your throat.

You don't know how long has passed when you break away, a long strand of saliva connecting your bruised lips. His hands fall to your waist, his face nuzzling your neck. You revel in his glow, reminding yourself that it wouldn't be long before you'd have to give him up. You couldn't handle a distance of 3000 km, and he didn't deserve that either. You should not have done this. You start tearing up, feeling as if the walls are closing in around you, popping the bubble surrounding the both of you.

Out of nowhere, Ted feels a wetness on his cheek. "What the - Y/N, are you okay? What happened?" You gently nudge him off your body, wiping the tears from your face.

"Nothing, I'm fine. You should go sleep, you have an exam soon." You say, turning around and making your way to your room without waiting for a reply. You still can't believe that you left him confused and heartbroken on the couch from something you had done to him. That night had been the worst of your life.

Exam season came and went, neither of you bringing up what happened and in all honesty, you tried avoiding him just as much as you could. The system you had built was working relatively well, you would only see him in the morning right before the both of you left for your exams. You'd leave leftovers for him in the fridge with a brief note taped on his fridge, but that's where your contact stopped. Every so often, when you were getting ready in the morning, you'd see him from the corner of your eye trying to reach out to you opening his mouth as if he was going to say something.

But he never did.

You started packing up your room the day you were done with your exams. You'd turned down a celebratory night out with your friends, feeling the need to leave as soon as you could. What use was staying here anyway? No, now was the time to shove your belongings in boxes and start arranging your flight back home, arriving much earlier than expected. It wasn't a permanent solution since Ted lived right next to you, but it would work for now.

That's how Ted found you just over an hour later. By that point, your room was mostly bare save for some of your essentials sitting out on your desk. He had just returned home, about to use the washroom when he heard some weird shuffling from the direction of your bedroom. A bit alarmed, he rushed to you, only to see you stacking your suitcases on top of each other. You stop in your tracks when you see him, expecting him to be gone for at least another two hours. "Oh. Hey."

"Hi...? What's going on?"

"Uh, I'm going back home for a bit. Probably the day after tomorrow."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, you're not staying for graduation? It's only two weeks from now."

"Yeah, but that's not really important to me." He clenches his jaw.

"Well, I suppose you would want to spend as much time with your parents before you go."

"Sure, yeah." You lie through your teeth. He was right, of course, but that wasn't the reason why. "How long are you here for?"

"A little after graduation, I think. Have a few job positions available, I'll need to go check them out."

"Oh, makes sense."

The conversation comes from a standpoint. Unable to maintain eye contact with him, you fiddle with your suitcase. "Y/N," He begins, sucking in a deep breath.

"Yes?" You say, biting your lip.

"Could you wait for me before you go? We could just, like, hang out?" He says nervously.

Oh god.

"Of course, Ted." You say unsure of what would come of the promise.

"Thank you." He adds, relieved.

Just as he's about to leave, you call out for him. "I don't know if I'm going to see you tomorrow, so, um. Bye. For now." If only he knew the true intent of those words.

He looks at you skeptically but returns the sentiment anyway. "Bye, Y/N."

True to your word, you didn't see Ted the next day, finally being dragged out of your cocoon by your other friends. You didn't see him the day of your flight either, not really knowing where he was. Once you'd lugged all your belongings outside, you paused to look over the apartment. A deep sadness instills within you - this was the place where Ted and you had spent the last 4 years of your life. He'd coached you through several panic attacks on that very table, you had spent hours behind that stove cooking whatever your heart desired, and the picture of the both of you still hung over the crack in the wall that came with the place. That sofa was the same place the both of you slumped over after a hard day to catch up on whatever you were watching and, very recently, where you'd both shared a brain-melting kiss.

You shake your head of these thoughts, it was time to move on. You had just been accepted into your dream school, why were you acting like your entire life was ending? Previously, you'd contemplated leaving him a note, but that didn't feel necessary anymore. You'd already said what you needed to say that night.

Wrapping your hands around the door handle, you say goodbye to the place one last time before locking it shut. As you load everything onto the small elevator, you hope that goodbye extends to Ted too.

The next two weeks have you fall into a pattern. You'd wake up and have breakfast with your parents before tagging along with either of them on any errands they needed to do. Sometimes that meant going with your mom to the grocery store or helping your mama in the soup kitchen a few streets away. Your days were dedicated to spending time with them, but your nights were left empty. It was really a matter of time before Ted occupied your mind during those times. You'd wake up and fall asleep to memories of him;- your best friend, your crush, your rock. The thought has you laughing. Despite the last 20 years of being friends, this was the legacy he'd left on you - and you had no one but yourself to blame. Funny how life works sometimes.

The day before you left, the Shacklefords came over to see you. You'd seen them at various points since you'd been back but this was the first time all of you were settling down in a room together. You didn't mind, these people were literally your second set of parents. The 5 of you discussed various topics over dinner; how your decision was so unexpected, how they would support you no matter what, how your brother was doing, if their other kids were coming for Ted's graduation party, etc.

"Oh yeah, how was the graduation by the way?" Your mama says. "Y/N robbed us of attending it," she adds, giggling.

"It went fine - it was pretty emotional to see our youngest reach such a milestone. We are really starting to feel the empty nest now." Ted's dad replies, smiling. "But Ted didn't seem to share the sentiment."

"Really? He looked pretty happy in his photos." Your mom questions.

"Yeah, he was pretty glum throughout it all. Those pictures I sent you were the best ones of the bunch. To be fair, I would be too if my best friend wasn't there with me." His mom says teasingly. You force a smile.

The conversation continues to flow around you but you let yourself simmer in that comment. No one except your parents knew that you were leaving tomorrow; they were extremely confused by your request but promised to not tell. His mom's remark was meant all in good jest, but now you're terrified of her reaction to the news that you left before saying a proper goodbye to her son. It would be fair, you felt like a horrible person, but you were not prepared for anything otherwise.

The next morning, your moms dropped you off at the airport. They both took turns kissing you on the cheek, helping you load your luggage onto a trolley before waving you off, promising to visit you once you'd found an apartment and settled in. You hug them and go to catch your flight, leaving a piece of your heart with them. Ted may have been your number one supporter, but those two had been with you through literally everything and you'd probably miss them the most when you're abroad.

An hour or so later you're done checking in, and you decide to spend some time window-shopping in the Duty-Free section. You didn't need anything, your mama had made sure of that while you were packing, plus everything was too expensive anyway. No, you just wanted to browse - at least, until, you'd noticed a pile of cute Julius the Monkey plushies in the corner of the shop. Okay, maybe you'd let yourself buy one thing. It could be a companion for this new scary stretch of your life.

You pick one up, fondly looking over the details on its plush body. Ted did very briefly have a Paul Frank obsession, you remember. He would've loved to have this. You miss him so much.

Suddenly, a hand reaches out to grab your shoulder. You jolt in surprise as you turn back, Julius falling from your hands in the process. "Sorry! Let me grab that for you," a wide-eyed and flustered Ted bends down before you, picking up the doll. He offers it to you, but you skip over it.

"What are you doing here?" You exclaim in shock. "Weren't you supposed to arrive in a week or something?"

"I got an offer I couldn't turn down, so I decided to come home early and surprise my parents. But I could ask you the same thing, Y/N. You said you were going to wait for me." He replies in an exhausted voice. You eye him. He looked a bit sleep-deprived, his messy hair poking out of his hoodie. A large suitcase stands next to him, adorned by his neck pillow. It must've been a rough flight.

You were cornered. "I, um, have to go. The announcement lady just mentioned my flight."

He stops you, spotting your lie. "Unless you're flying to Germany, I suggest you explain yourself." He replies in a firm tone.

Clenching your jaw, your eyes fall to the floor. You had caused all of this just because you couldn't keep your freaking lips to yourself. You deserved this moment of humiliation. "I'm sorry."

"You can't kiss me one day and then disregard our decades of friendship by running away, Y/N. What's going on?"

"That kiss was a mistake." You say, literal garbage falling out of your mouth. Was it something you regret? Yes, but it wasn't a mistake. "I did it in a moment of foolishness and I wish I didn't."

This catches him off guard. "No, it wasn't. You would have t-"

Gathering up all your courage, you stare into his eyes. "Don't make something out of nothing." Wow, now you were deflecting. Perfect. You sense anger building within him and realize you should probably step away while you still can. You grab your carry-on, about to turn away when he says something.

"I can tell when you're lying, Y/N."

You chose to not reply to that comment. "Goodbye, Ted. I wish the absolute best for you, congrats on the new job." At least that was wholehearted. You walk away, leaving Ted behind in that overpriced Duty-Free shop still clutching onto the Julius plushie as if it'll abandon him like you just did.

He purchased it in the hopes that you'd return back to him.

And there it was. The truth is all out in the open.

"You should know, Ted, I would do things completely differently now. I am so, so sorry. I never should have done that to you, it was stupid, I was a fucking coward-"

Ted's hands encase yours, and for the first time in 6 years, you feel like you're going to be okay. "No, you were completely right to feel those things, Y/N. God, if I had stopped being so hardheaded and realized why you became so closed-off, we wouldn't have missed so much time together."

"No, it's my fault." You say, gripping his hands tightly. "Don't you dare blame yourself. It was me - I made everything worse. I should have been more upfront with my fears. I shouldn't have lied to you." You cup his face, resting his forehead against yours.

"I would've flown there if you'd asked me to." He confesses, his voice a decibel over a whisper.

"I knew you would have, but I couldn't expect something of that scale from you." You reply. "You deserved to live your own life."

"When will you realize that you are my lifeline?"

"Fuck, don't say that... in some cruel and fucked up way, I'm kind of glad it worked out. I mean, think about it. You wouldn't have gotten George or this gigantic office!" You leave the warmth of his embrace, widening your arms to emphasize its size. He snickers, acknowledging that you have a point.

You spot something from the corner of your eye. Your hands reluctantly left their position and you reach to pick up a book lying next to you. Following your line of vision, Ted watches as you pick up and rotate the book in your hands. "Oh no, that's George's favorite nighttime story. He probably got it to read with Charkie but left it behind." He says, worriedly. He sees in your eyes, though, that that's not what intrigued you.

"You kept it? The book I gave you?" You say, staring at him with the rawest emotions anyone could ever see. There it was; the same look you'd given him when you'd fallen off the bike.

"It's you, chowder." He says, returning the stare. "It's always been you."

In a split second, you push your lips against his. You move the book aside and find your spot on the back of his head, playing with his hair. His travels further down your back until they meet your ass, caressing your cheeks and tugging them to be closer to him. This. This is what bliss felt like.

His mouth explores your tavern as if his only goal is to go deeper and deeper until you were one. It feels like the air is being sucked out of you in the absolute best way possible, melting into him just as you did that day 6 years ago.

Then, you feel something meaty poking your leg. Your eyes flow open in surprise and it takes you a few seconds to realize what it is.

"Are you hard?" You say as you pull apart. He squeaks, looking down and turning red and you stifle a laugh.

"I'm sorry, this isn't- oh my god, this is so embarrassing," he panics. "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I swear this wasn't my plan, maybe if we just wait a bit-"

"Ted," you caress his face and he immediately hushes. "It's okay. Honestly, it's kind of hot to know you're pining for me down there."

"Still, the girl of my dreams is finally back in arms-" your heart flutters. "-and this is how my body decides to react. Ugh. We could wait for it to go back down; or if you're uncomfortable having it around I could go to the bathroom and, um, take care of it?"

You bite your lip as you see the outline of his bulge and he instinctively covers it with both hands. "We could do that, but I am open to other options." His eyes widen as he realizes the implications of your words. "Only if you are as well, though." You add, quickly.

"...I'm open to it too," he reveals, and your smile widens.

Taking your chance, you smash your lips against his again before flipping your positions. Your fingers snake down to the buckle of his belt and you impatiently try to remove it, eventually being successful. Once it's off, you quickly discard his pants in the same way. Smirking into the kiss, you run your fingers over the erect tent in his boxers.

You pull away only to press more kisses onto his neck, making your way downwards to his nether region. He lets out a moan when you wrap your lips around his nipple and suck, and the sound sends a fresh wave of arousal through your body.

His flushed face scrunched up in pleasure, your saliva coating his lips, his bare chest dotted with sweat. The sight was simply erotic.

Your fingers slip into his waistband as your lips continue traveling downwards. You tug his boxers off and his member almost pokes you in the eyes.

My god, how was he hiding this in those tight pants? It was curved, veiny and thick. The angry, swollen red tip begged for some relief and your hands reached out to grab it in your hands. You felt drool escape from the side of your mouth as you realize your hands don't even wrap around properly. Your eyes shift to his. "I have to be honest," you say anxiously, rubbing circles on his slit with your thumb. "I don't know if you'll fit."

Those words were enough to send another shiver through his already overstimulated body. "You should know, I haven't really - um - done this before."

Your movements freeze. "What?"

"I'm still a virgin." He says, and your lack of reply sends him into a spiral of panic. "I'm sorry, is that a turn-off? I just never really thought about it that much. I'm so sorry-"

"What the fuck are you sorry for?" You startle him. "I'm sorry for literally everyone else in the world! Have you been hiding this monster in your pants for 28 years?" You grip the tip tightly once more, earning a groan from him.

"To think that I will be the first person to bring you an orgasm, to see how your eyes roll to the back of your head as you ride out your high... fuck, do you not know how hot that is? Holy shit, I cannot wait to feel you inside me."

Wasting no time for his reply, you pop his leaking tip into your mouth and roll your tongue over it. The whimpers he makes fuel you as your hands cup his balls. You bob your head, trying to fit him inside one inch at a time.

You see his palm quickly clamp over his mouth, amusing you immensely. "Moan as loud as you want, pretty boy. What are they going to do, walk in?" You laugh, unlatching from his cock for a bit before diving right back in.

He heeds your advice, letting out the most satisfying moans you've ever heard as he tangles his fingers in your hair. He gently pushes you closer and closer to him until your nose touches his pelvis. Is this what he'd been missing out on for his entire life? If only he could turn back time and slap himself across the face.

Your tongue only gets needier and needier, desperate to taste all of him all at once. You use it to trace his bulging veins, feeling him twitch as you do so. Your hands leave his balls to slip in between your own legs and you rub your clit in the same rhythm as you suck him.

Maybe the sight of you playing with yourself should've been enough to push him over the edge; but it's only when he makes contact with your hazy eyes that causes him to buck into your mouth and finally give you what you wanted, his essence running down your throat as you swallow. "Fuck," he says, surprising you by swearing. "You're a goddess." He says in his post-orgasmic bliss.

You wipe any remnants off your lips with the back of your hand and laugh. "That's my name, Teddy. Don't wear it out." Then you clamber onto his lap and meet his lips once again. He grins sheepishly when he tastes him in you, but that grin quickly turns into a moan as you grind down on him. He's tempted to let you bounce on him till he spills himself all over you, but he knew he wanted you to experience your own orgasm.

"Y/N," he shyly says. "Can I eat you out?"

You weren't expecting that, but who were you to refuse? "Yes, please!"

Placing his hands underneath your buttcheeks, he lifts you into the air - damn, has he been working out? His biceps are so hot - and awkwardly shuffles to the desk. He places you on the desk, albeit in the wrong spot as you end up having to scoot up a bit for fear of falling off - but with a man like Ted molding into putty in your hands, how could you care?

He fumbles to remove your shirt, his eyes darkening once he sees the glow of your breasts in the moonlight. You unclasped your bra and tossed it away without a care in the world, discarding your pants in the same manner. You feel exposed, desperately wanting to blow his expectations out of the water but secretly being afraid that you're not capable of it.

You see his breath hitch in his throat as he gazes at you lustfully, clad in nothing save for a pair of soaked panties. He reaches forward and plants a sloppy kiss on your lips, moving downwards to your chin, then the length of your exposed neck before settling on the center of your collarbones. You tingle with delight - only Ted could be so seductive in an endearing manner.

He wraps his pillowy lips around your nipple, one hand playing with your other breast. He's a bit rough at first but eases his force when he observes how you jolt up. His teeth graze your skin and you mewl.

He leaves your nipple and gets himself level with your clothed pussy. When you feel his nose digs into your clit, you instinctually gasp and wrap your legs around his head. You feel fucking powerful for a second, knowing you're suffocating him with nothing but you. You might just climax on the spot.

The feeling is interrupted when he pries your legs open. "Slow down, chowder, we have all night - and, err, next morning."

Just when you're about to reply with a giggle and call him cute, he pulls your panty to the side. He latches his mouth around your clit, giving it some experimental licks before deciding he was doing well when he hears you suck in your breath. He sucks on it like his life depends on it, teeth grazing ever so gently over your sensitive core. One hand keeps your legs apart so he could have access to more of you, while his other runs itself along your slit. When his fingers are sufficiently coated in your slick, he finally plunges inside with two digits.

The loud moan you let out makes his cock twitch.

His fingers repeatedly thrust into you, making a come-hither motion each time. It was really just a matter of time before he found your g-spot, instantly making you reach up and grope your breast.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck!" You curse, and you feel his lips twisting into a smirk as he keeps sucking the life out of you. When he feels you tightening as you near your precipice, he takes it as a sign to switch his position. You feel a warm, wet appendage poking your quivering hole, audibly gasping His tongue travels around the perimeter at first, but then they replace his fingers when it snakes inside of you - twisting, turning and plunging into you.

In just a few seconds your vision goes blurry and you wrap your thighs around his face again as you climax around his tongue. "Holy shit!"

He cheekily rises from where he was sitting, his mouth streaked with evidence of your orgasm. His breath catches in his throat when he sees the mess you're in. "Not bad for a first timer, huh?" You giggle exasperatedly, trying to catch your breath.

You were the definition of lewd at this moment; sweat highlighting the curve of your breasts.

"See something you like?" You joke, propping yourself in elbows.

"I love you."

"...what?"

"Sorry, sorry! I did not mean to say that! Forget what I said."

"Ted."

He sucks in a deep breath. "Maybe it's seeing you after so long but - I can't. I can't let you slip away again. I want to be with you, Y/N, you're it for me." He says, caressing your face and using his thumbs to wipe the tears welling in your eyes. "Stay with me." He hums, kissing your nose.

"You don't-" you start, holding onto his arms. Ted feels uncertain of what you're going to say. "You don't tell that to someone after you've given them an earth-shattering orgasm, you doof!" You exclaim, chuckling.

He feels like he can breathe again. "Reciprocate my love, woman." He says, pouting.

You pull him in for a hug tightly, never wanting to let go. His arm snakes around your back and holds you in place, his nose nuzzling into the base of your neck. "I love you too." You finally say. "It's definitely going to be an adjustment. I've only been back for two weeks, you have a monkey, I don't even have a place yet - but that doesn't matter. I love you so, so much. Letting you go was the worst decision I ever made, and I'll be damned if I let it happen again."

You're pulled into a kiss. This one is different though; not based on hunger or desire as before but rather passion. It feels like an ice cube spreading over your bruised lips. He breaks apart, resting his forehead on yours. "Soul meets soul on lover's lips." He quotes.

"Ugh, you haven't changed one bit, you nerd." You remark, rolling your eyes half heartedly as you recognize the line as one of Percy Shelly's. He shrugs shamelessly, elated that you remembered.

He gently lays you down on the desk once more, being careful to not crush you as his hands wrap around his dick and he strokes himself. He pulls away, slowly, leaning over to your ear.

"Think I can give you another 'earth-shattering' orgasm?" He smugly says, his sticky fingers gripping onto your hip.

"I might just die if you don't."

He blushes before slowly pulling your cum-soaked panties down, slipping them past your legs. God, the sight of your battered pussy was so lewd, but an essential detail registers in his head. "Y/N," he says, scratching the back of his head. "I don't have a condom."

That snaps you out of your trance. "Ugh, I completely forgot." You reply, annoyed. "I have an IUD, but I haven't been with anyone for a while. If you still want to continue, then I'm up for it too." You say nervously.

He bends down to kiss your nose again. "I trust you."

You reach out for his member, rubbing it against your folds with your slick making it seem so effortless. The pretty moan he lets out only edges you on - he had you wrapped around his gorgeous long fingers, didn't he?

He writhes in your grasp, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips leaving crescent-shaped marks that you prayed would remain. "Shit, shit, shit!" He exclaims.

His swearing really shouldn't be making you weak in the knees, but damn it all to hell.

"God, I can't wait to take you apart every single day." You say. "Crumbling before my very eyes. Fuck, I can't wait to be wrapped around you."

"Then what are you waiting for?" He pants irritatedly, arms placed on each side of your head.

"As you wish, pretty boy." You reach out for his hand to plant a kiss on his fingers. Finally, you align his head with your entrance and lace your legs around his waist. "I can't believe I'm finally making you mine."

He cups your face. "Chowder, I've always been yours."

And with that, you push him inside with your legs. The first stretch is uncomfortable due to his sheer size and girth, but that couldn't matter less. You were more focused on how his head rolled back and the loud groan that escapes his throat - possibly the most erotic sound you've ever heard.

It was like he'd lived in black and white before this, and all of a sudden there was an explosion of color and he was drowning in you, you only you-

"Holy crap, Y/N." He pants. "You're so tight and warm and- fuck."

"You're becoming quite the potty-mouth." You giggle.

"Hush, woman. You and your pussy are going to be the death of me someday." He says, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

You stroke his wet hair, grinning. "That's the plan."

"Brat."

"Yours truly."

"At least you got one thing correct." He says, leaning in to kiss your lips. The inadvertent thrust that came with it causes you to let out a gasp, and you're starting to be weary of if you can survive being impaled by his monster dick.

Luckily your thoughts are silenced when his hips start to move; it starts slow as he adjusts to you, but he picks up his pace, pounding into you.

"Ted! Fuck - more!" You scream. Watching his cock disappear into you - seeing where you started and he began - it felt like he had no choice but to comply with your words.

Rolling his hips against yours, he diverts the attention of his mouth onto your exposed neck, pressing wet kisses along before harshly biting and sucking on your skin. It hurts - not unbearably so, but you still make a point to give him a hickey to show how it was done later on.

Wanting more of him, you slowly lift your hips and match his pace. "Holy fucking shit, your dick is skewering me alive." You cry, hands going to play with your clit. You see his face scrunch up at the image, which amuses you to no end.

Above you, Ted chases the warmth of your pussy. The sound of skin on skin makes him feel delirious, getting turned on by the mere thought of your fluids intermingling and leaving a mess on the space he has to work on.

He catches your lips with him, slowly feeling the coil tightening in his lower abdomen. Your pert nipples drag over his chest, sending tingles all over him. Between your pretty little moans, your tight hole sucking his cock in and the sight of your slick-covered fingers rubbing figure-8s around your clit, he knew he had no chance.

Soon he starts seeing white spots in his vision and something starting to unravel in his lower abdomen. "Y/N, I think I'm close. Where should I - um -"

"Inside, please." You say, panting.

And just like that, his hips still and he comes undone.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

He was a fucking vision - you wanted the sight imprinted on the back of your eyelids. His thick eyebrows knitted together as his eyes closed shut, his lower lip falling under his teeth as his stomach caved in and of itself. His thick, warm seed shot into your pussy in uncontrollable spurts, stuffing you beyond your wildest dreams.

"Fuck, I love you so much." You say unabashedly, feeling his essence dribble out of you slowly. He chuckles lightly, struggling to catch his breath. "Can I ride you? I'm almost there."

He nods his head excitedly before flipping the both of you so you were on top, your palms planted firmly against his chest as you straddle him. You waste no time in moving your hips and he seems all too happy to let you take over, watching your actions through his lidded eyes. You create a fast but deep pace, the sound of him fucking through his own cum pushing you even closer to your end. "So good for me, love." You praise him as he mewls beneath you. "So perfect."

You slump backward, allowing you to grind against his cock more as his head smashes into your cervix. His fingers vigorously rub your clit, making you wail. "Don't stop, oh my god, fucckk!"

He bucks his hips into you, desperate to see you crumble in front of him again. "God, I must be the luckiest man alive," he eggs you on as you swirl your hips. You clench your walls, the friction bringing him to his edge once more.

"Ted..." you whimper. Looking into your glassy eyes, he understands.

"I'm close again, love," he grunts. "Cum with me."

"Fuck - I love you, I love you I love you I love you-" you chant frantically. With one final thrust, your orgasm overtakes you with such force that your vision blanks out. Your hips stutter as you fall onto him, gushing around his length as his cum paints your walls again.

He brings his lips to yours, kissing you amid your choked sobs of pleasure. You stay in that position for some time, with his bulky arms wrapping around you and his softening dick plugging his cum inside you.

Moments pass as you lay on his chest, listening in for his heartbeat as it slowly calms. "That was amazing." You say, breaking the silence.

"I don't think I could ever go back to my hand again." He sighs as you laugh. "Don't you need to go pee or something?" He says, brushing his fingers through your sweaty hair.

"I don't want to leave our bubble." You pout.

He kisses your forehead. "Well, we have forever, don't we?" You smile. "We can manage maybe a few seconds apart."

"Ugh, fine." You say, slipping him out of you as you wobbly walk to his attached bathroom. He watches himself slowly leak down your thighs, licking his lips contently. If he wasn't completely spent, he'd probably take you up against the wall right now and add another load to the stash. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

He wipes off the mess you made as much as he can before arranging the pullout couch more comfortably. He waits for you, immediately reaching out to your warm body once you're out of the washroom.

He falls asleep tucked up in your arms, and as you listen as he softly snores you realize that this is the most at home you've felt since you left 6 years ago.

"I'm glad to hear he had a good time," Ted says onto the speakerphone as he ties his tie. "We're still trapped but it shouldn't be too long now. Thank you for taking care of him, Margaret, it's lucky this sleepover was scheduled when it was."

Ted was the first to wake up this morning, but you soon followed when you felt his tongue lapping at your folds. After another dalliance in the hay, you watch as he dresses while calling Charkie's house to make sure George was okay. Once he talks to him and promises to take him to the playground today, he hangs up.

You smirk as he bends down to pick up his belt, your eyes training in on his round ass. "You know, I've always loved your butt. You should bend over more, it's my biggest vice."

He turns to you, rolling his eyes in amusement. "Shouldn't you start getting ready? They could barge in any time now."

"I would, but I think you've broken me, Shackleford."

"Don't be so dramatic, chowder. Here, I'll help you."

Once you're dressed and have fixed your hair (to an extent), you place yourself on Ted's lap and overlook the view from his window. "We live right about there," he points to a tall yellow building in the distance, resting his chin on your shoulder. "Ours is the one with the garden on the balcony. Speaking of, remind me to water the plants as soon as we get back."

"Dang, if I wasn't too busy bouncing on your dick we could've seen it at night."

He groans. "Don't talk like you didn't enjoy cumming all over my de-"

All of a sudden you hear the scraping of a key being inserted into the door. Ted swivels the both of you around to meet a maintenance worker and Dr. Einstein. "Heard you kids got locked up yesterday. Ted, you really oughta get this whole system replaced." He says, eyeing the two of you. "Glad it worked out, though." He shamelessly adds.

You cough. "Of course, I'll get a locksmith up here immediately Professor Einstein. Thank you for letting us out, Jerry." Ted rambles, blushing.

The man only nods his head and leaves, unfazed and unbothered. Professor Einstein, on the other hand, lingers for a bit more. "You should take the day off, Shackleford. Maybe get a shower, or touch some grass." He says, before walking away, humming to himself.

"That... was the most embarrassing thing I've been through." He says, dumbfounded.

"Get used to it, sweets." You laugh, picking yourself off as best as you could. "I think I want you to fuck me against this huge window, let everyone see how much I love your dick."

"Jesus, Y/N, I didn't expect you to be such a pottymouth." He replies, shocked, getting up to embrace you again.

"Speak for yourself;- did you hear the shit you were saying last night?"

"I really hope you don't influence George to be just as crude."

"Um, wow. Have some faith in me."

He kisses your forehead, pulling you closer. A warm silence ensues.

"I don't want you to go. You just got back." He whispers.

"I don't want to leave." You mumble, hiding your face in his chest, inhaling his scent. He always gave the best hugs; the ones where you melt right into him.

"I take back what I said about being apart for a few seconds. I want to be with you 24/7." He groans. How did you get so lucky?

"The Pisghetti's are expecting me at 10, right before the lunch shift. Maybe you should tag along? I don't think they'd mind. Actually, it'd help us if anything."

"Well, Professor Einstein did basically tell to me take a day off, and we do still have nearly 3 hours before you're expected. How about we freshen up at our apartment?"

That's how you find yourself curled up around him as he pounds into you in his tub, your 15-minute bath turning into 35. After the stickiness between your legs is washed off (and a sex-crazed Ted is satiated), you quickly rush to get ready, despite knowing that the Pisghetti's are immediately going to know if something is up when they notice you wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Oh well.

The pair of you pick George up from Charkie's, who only live the next block over. Margaret, the sweet dog's kind owner, is delighted to be introduced to you and offers tea, but you regrettably take a rain check. George on the other hand is surprised to see the man with the yellow hat's fingers intertwined around yours but accepts it happily, even climbing to your shoulders as you make the walk to the Pisghetti's.

Safe to say the Chef and Netti didn't expect to see the both of you together, but they don't make a big deal of it. George plays with Gnocchi as the four of you discussed the final adjustments for the meals in the kitchen.

You try your hardest - you swear you do. But every so often Ted's hands hover over yours and it's goddamn hard to not run your fingers over his soft palms. This doesn't go unnoticed by Netti, but she doesn't say anything. She'll squeeze it out of you on Monday, you suppose, judging by how the corner of her lips turn up every time she spots it.

By the time it rolls around to 11:30, you start preparing for your lunch shift. "I wish I could stay, but I did promise to take George to the playground. And I think the Chef wouldn't like me hogging space for potential customers anyway." Ted pouts. "Should I pick you up after your shift? You can have dinner with us - I'll cook." He offers enthusiastically.

"That sounds good! I do have one request; can we drop by my hotel? I really need a fresh set of clothes, and also make sure the staff doesn't think I died or something."

He kisses you briefly but passionately. "Consider it a plan. See you in a few hours, chowder. I love you." With that promise, he reluctantly leaves.

That night, as you're sleeping and sprawled over him, belly full of lasagna and hands holding onto a rather flat plush of Julius the monkey, Ted makes the realization that he has two sources of snores to drown his spiraling thoughts in.

This time, it's enough.

He sleeps contently, tucked in your arms like he hopes to be for the rest of his life with his beloved (and live) monkey just a few paces away.

"Passport?"

"Check."

"Wallet?"

"Check."

"Suitcase and backpack?"

"Check."

"List of Canadian snacks George wants to try?"

"Check! That should be it."

"You are missing one thing." Ted gives you a grave face.

You nervously think back to what could be missing. "What is it?"

"A goodbye kiss for me, hello?" He says, puckering his lips like an idiot in the middle of the bustling crowd around you.

You roll your eyes before planting a big fat wet kiss on his lips. Even Ted wasn't expecting to drop you at the airport today. Heck, he'd actually been trying to avoid flying; partly because it brought a whole list of complications because of George being classified as a primate but also because every time he'd step in one memory of you leaving would rush back into his brain, leaving him a grumpy old mess. He'd even completely skipped over the Duty-Free sections every time he did have to go somewhere.

There was also another reason;- the gala was tomorrow, and dropping you off was already taking a chunk of precious time that could've gone into overseeing the preparations. Obviously, Ted didn't mind - Professor Wiseman was more than capable of being in charge for an hour - but this event was important to him. It was the biggest he'd thrown in his entire career, plus, it had somewhat brought you to him. He was next to you, yes, but he'd be lying if he said a part of him wasn't worrying about the exhibit in the back of his mind.

Of course, you didn't mind. Truth be told, your mind was also a bit preoccupied with the gala - specifically the food. Most of the work was done, Netti and the Chef only had to fix it up to look more presentable. Still, if it hadn't been for your lease expiring soon you would've extended your stay by at least one more day.

You brush these thoughts aside as you give Ted one final hug. "Is it too late to stuff you in my suitcase and carry you with me?" You ask.

"Unfortunately, yes, chowder." He says, kissing the top of your head. "Though... I wouldn't mind being stuffed somewhere else." He says, raising his eyebrows mischievously.

You hit his arm. "Oh my god, give my pussy a break. I'm going now." You whine, turning away from him.

He snickers, stopping you from leaving. "Okay, okay, calm down. Just one more kiss and I promise I'll let you go." He says before bending down and capturing your lips in his. You stay like that for a while before you begrudgingly pull away.

"See you in a few days. Tell George I'll miss him. I love you!" you grin before walking away to the check-in station, waving as you do so.

"I love you too," Ted replies. He watches as you disappear into the crowd, just as you did that day 6 years ago, but he reminds himself that this time is different. You'd be back. And very soon.

With that in mind, he turns back to head to the museum again.

Someone snaps him out of his trance. "You're up in 5, boss."

"Thanks, Andie." Ted acknowledges, flickering through his opening speech again. This wasn't the first time he'd given one but they were very nerve-wracking either way for an introvert. Dressed in an all-black suit for the first time in 2 years, he only wishes you were here to see him. You'd been trying to push him out of that yellow suit for a while now.

Adjusting his tie, he devotes one more second (okay, maybe a bit more) to thinking of you before making his way to the stage stairs. The MC for the evening, a guy by the name of William H. Macy, introduces him - and soon he's facing a room of 500 people with a mic in front of him. He hopes all that practicing with you and George paid off.

"Distinguished guests, it is my honor to unveil the new Invention of Cooking exhibit to you tonight on behalf of The Metropolitan Museum of Arts." A round of applause ensues as Ted searches the crowd for familiar faces so that he could feel a bit more relaxed. "We'd love to extend our warmest welcomes to each and every single one of you. People from every corner of the earth have flown in just to attend this event; food bloggers, world-famous chefs, historians of different specialties, and so forth. A diverse palette of company, really - but all of us, including me, are united by one thing." He pauses to draw the audience in. "None of us know what I'm going to say!"

That earns a cackle from the horde, the most distinct being George. That soothes his nerves, but it's hard to spot the monkey with all these bright lights flashing in his face. "Plans for this new extension date back to several years ago, so seeing everyone stand in it is a very special moment for all of us who have been dedicatedly working on it. We hope that you enjoy immersing yourself in how cooking evolved from the discovery of fire to the stage it's at now." His eyes adjust to the darkness a bit, and he notices George cheekily smiling at him about 50 feet away. He was on someone's head - who was that? "But please do make sure to try out the assortment of appetizers and courses that are sure to give you a taste of New York." He continues, squinting to seek out who George was on but trying to not make it too obvious. It seems like they were walking toward the stage. "They have been prepared by our very own Chef Pisghetti, his wife Netti, and my partner, Y/N L/N, who unfor-" George's mysterious booster seat finally comes to light, and Ted makes eye contact with you.

He coughs, dumbfounded, but picks his jaw up from the floor quickly. This was a professional event, the show must go on. "Who have all devoted the last few weeks of their life making sure everyone in this room gets the best experience attainable. Uh, if you have any questions, feel free to direct them to any of our dedicated staff. Otherwise, have a wonderful evening!" He reaches the end of his speech, pausing for the applause before rushing downstairs to embrace you in his arms. George scurries away, picking up cues that this should be a more private affair. "Y/N - how'd you- Weren't you-" he excitedly queries as you pepper his face in kisses.

"I'll explain everything, can we go to your office though?"

"Sure. Wait, is something wrong?" "No, no! I just don't want to be with you, not surrounded by a bazillion people."

5 minutes later, you're back in his office and he has you wrapped in the tightest of hugs. "You weren't supposed to be back for at least three days - what happened?!"

"Don't scold me, but I chugged like 4 Red Bulls to pack up my entire apartment in under 12 hours. Honestly, you should have seen me. I think I set a world record, but anyway. I brought what I could - all the boxes are in the restaurant - but my friends are going to have to sell my couch and bed and blah blah. Whatever, doesn't matter, caught a flight and ran here." Ted gazes into your eyes. "What? Say something."

"You're crazy." He says, "Why would you do that?"

"You're crazy if you think I would have missed this for the world."

"God, I'm in love with a lunatic."

You beam. "Tell me something I don't know." He grabs you by your cheeks and smashes your lips together and you savor his taste. How did every kiss with him feel like it was the first? Your fingers card through his hair as you try to breathe him in. His tongue pressed between your lips to part them, slipping inside your mouth. You don't know how much time passes before you finally part, lips wet with spit.

"I am wholly and irrevocably in love with you." He confesses.

"Ditto." You teasingly smile.

"Ugh, I take it back."

"No! Don't!" You cry. "I love you too, so much. You are my forever, I couldn't imagine a life without you."

He bites back a cheeky grin, resting his head against yours. "Imagine being so cheesy."

"Watch it, mister, or I'll kick you to Mars."

"Will you come with me?"

"Of course. We'll have to find a spacesuit for George, though. I doubt they make them monkey-sized. Speaking of suits, you look particularly ravishing tonight, Shackleford."

"I could say the same for you, chowder. Where were you hiding this little number?"

You twirl your dress for him. "Do you like it? Had to dig it out of the closet. Sorry, it's not exactly black tie,"

"Are you kidding? The only place this would look better is on the floor."

"Oh, really?" You smirk, turning and walking away from him.

He stares at you in confusion. "Uh, what're you doing?"

"You had them remove the auto-lock security feature thing, right?"

"Yeah, the day after we got stuck. Why?"

"Oops!" You say as you close the door shut and slide the bolt in place. "My hand slipped! Uh oh." He slowly catches on to your plan, a bulge already forming in his pants. You turn back to face him, a mischievous look on your face.

"Now, what happened to your promise of fucking me against your window?"

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chenziee · 1 year

Text

The Nightmares we dream

@lawluevents - Day 8: Hurt/Comfort / Memory @onepiece-bingo: Blanket fort

Alternate summary: there is so much trauma in this boy

[ Read on AO3 | series ]

—————

It was hot.

So incredibly hot.

It felt like the fire that had engulfed his parents’ hospital was licking at his skin as well, scorching his tiny, ten year old body black—just like it did to everything else that stood in its path.

Law couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe?

He gasped, trying to get some oxygen, only for it to turn into a coughing fit. Ash was filling his lungs, the heat burning him from the inside out.

Blinking, Law tried to look around himself but there was too much smoke and his eyes were stinging, filling with tears he couldn’t stop. With a shaky hand, he tried to rub at them, to clear his vision a little but he startled at how wet and slimy they were.

With a frown, Law’s eyes turned down to look—only to scream at the sight of blood dripping from his fingers, the red staining his pristine white skin tainted with amber lead. He screamed, except his voice wasn’t coming out. And yet, he continued screaming voicelessly, to the point his throat hurt.

Was he covered with blood?

Why?

What happened?

He couldn’t remember.

“Brother…”

Law’s head whipped up at the quiet whisper. He had to squint against the bright, so painfully bright and blinding fire but finally, he managed to find the small figure standing in front of him.

Lammy!! he cried—but his voice still refused to come out.

He reached forward, trying to grab for her but she was too far away, just out of his reach. He tried to stand up but his legs gave out the moment he tried to put weight on them, making him fall into a heap on the ground.

Lammy…

Gritting his teeth, Law forced himself to look up, his eyes searching for his little sister.

“Law.”

Mom?

“Law.”

Dad!

“Why didn’t you save us?”

Law froze, his breath hitching in his throat.

“Why were you the only one who survived?”

I… I tried to save you! I was only a child, what more could I have done?!

“Law.”

Law turned around quickly at the new voice coming from behind him. Cora-san! Where are you?!

“Torao.”

Law frowned. Who was this?

“Torao!”

Another person he loved—and whom he had failed? Another person who died because of him? For him?

But then, why couldn’t he recognise the voice?

“Torao!!”

Law gasped, his eyes snapping open into the darkness of the captain’s cabin in the Polar Tang. His breathing was laboured and he was covered in sweat, clutching at his blanket as if his life depended on it.

Exhaling deeply, he raised one shaky hand to rub at his eyes. He winced when he realised how wet his face and hands were—he almost expected there to be blood when he glanced at his fingers. After all, he could still smell the smoke from the fire, taste the ash, feel the heat. Flevance had happened so many years ago and yet, it still felt so real…

“Torao, are you okay?” someone next to him asked quietly, uncertainly.

Funny. In his dream, Law couldn’t place the voice at all but now, it was almost ridiculous how easily he recognised it. And even more ridiculous how it immediately grounded him, both his heartbeat and breathing slowing down to a calmer and healthier pace.

“Straw Hat-ya…” he sighed as he forced his body to relax. When would these nightmares stop haunting him? “I’m fine, just a bad dream.”

Straw Hat hummed thoughtfully and when Law looked at him, he wasn’t surprised to see him chewing on his bottom lip as he studied Law’s expression. It was too dark to be able to tell what to look in his eyes was like… but Law didn’t have to see it to know it was full of worry.

Law huffed, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. “Don’t hurt yourself thinking so hard.”

He expected Luffy to puff up, to grumble about Law being mean and how he wasn’t thinking that hard… but for some reason, Luffy did neither of those things. It made Law curse the darkness of his room—he had no idea what was going on in Luffy’s mind, unable to see his eyes or really gauge his expression.

“Okay,” Luffy simply said after a long while.

Law was grateful he didn’t pry. He didn’t feel like talking about his stupid nightmares—about Flevance, about Lammy and his parents, or about Cora-san. He knew Luffy would just get angry at the World Government and Doflamingo if he did—like he always did whenever Law told him even a little about any of his past—but more than that, Law simply didn’t have it in himself to talk about any of it right now.

He just wanted to grab a book and distract himself from the ghosts of his past. After all, this wasn’t his first nightmare; he was used to sleepless nights, used to staying up with nothing but a cup of coffee, dim light, and his small library.

The only thing he wasn’t used to was someone else being there to see it.

“Go back to sleep, Straw Hat-ya,” Law said softly as he himself sat up. The least he could do was to take his anxiety elsewhere.

Before he could even pull the blanket off, however, Luffy’s hand closed around his wrist. Law paused, glancing at Luffy questioningly… to which Luffy’s grasp on him only tightened.

“You’re gonna leave and stay up all night again?” Luffy asked, and Law could just hear the pout on his lips.

“Go back to sleep,” Law simply repeated instead of confirming it… or denying it. There was no point, after all. They both knew the answer anyway.

“No.”

Law startled at the tone. It almost sounded like Luffy was scolding him, while also begging at the same time and Law…

Law didn’t know how to respond.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to when Straw Hat continued only a second later. “Stay here. I’ll go make you your coffee—”

“Please don’t,” Law said automatically. He still remembered the last time Luffy attempted that and used so many coffee beans that the resulting beverage was basically a murder weapon.

“—and we can make a blanket fort and cuddle while you read. And hey! Sanji taught me, okay?!” Straw Hat finished.

Law couldn’t help the chuckle that made its way past his lips at the unhappy addition at the end. He could just picture the adorable frown that was undoubtedly gracing Straw Har’s face as he said it. Law wished it wasn’t so dark in the room; he wanted to see it.

He wanted to kiss it away.

Not fighting the urge, Law leaned forward, pressing his lips to Luffy’s in a quick kiss. “Fine, let’s see if anything stuck from Black Leg-ya,” he mumbled against Luffy’s mouth.

A wide smile spread on Luffy’s face then, present still when he kissed Law back before he jumped up, ready to run off. “Yay! Get the fort ready, I’ll be right back!”

And he was gone… but not before turning on the light on the way, causing Law to wince and close his eyes at the sudden brightness.

When the door shut behind Luffy, Law basked in the silence for a moment. Suddenly, he realised how calm he was now. As if his nightmare didn’t happen, as if his memories were back in the drawer in his mind where they belonged instead of spilling all over the floor, slowly drowning him.

Of course, they were still there. They would always be, Law knew. He didn’t want them to disappear either, didn’t want to forget.

But…

As long as breathing became easier, as long as the weight he carried became lighter, he would take it.

Inadvertently, Law touched his left arm, his fingers tracing his soulmark like his mother used to do when he was a child. He still didn’t believe a soulmate was a blessing—hell, his own was a menace more than anything—but maybe, just maybe…

That was enough.

And when Luffy came back with a steaming cup of coffee that smelled like liquid heaven and had the perfect amount of milk, whining about the lack of a blanket fort that Law didn’t bother making—but still smiling like the idiot he was, shining brighter than the light above the bed… Law wasn’t even surprised at the warmth that spread from his stomach through his entire body.

Yeah, this was more than enough for him.

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hellcatinnc · 3 months

Text

Fluffruary Day 14 - My Love, My Life

(True Love)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warning This includes: SFW (Read Tags Before Continuing)

Tags: sfw, fluff, romance, romantic fluff, marriage party, anniversary, pregnancy, love, true love

Word Count: 1,249

Feature: Dante Falzone x Fem! Reader

Theme: True Love

@fluffruaryprompts

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You knew the day you stood in that church, putting on your veil and getting ready to walk down the isle towards Dante. This was a day to remember forever, the biggest reason why is the fact you have always known since the day that you met him that this was true love. As the finishing touches go to your dress everything seems to stop and become steal. You finally have a moment to breathe to let everything in your mind and heart to flood through the last year now of being with Dante, moving in with him, getting engaged, and now married. You stand outside the doors now that are going to change your life forever. You are a moll and everyone knows the moll to capo is dangerous to mess with so part of you feels like being his moll protects you for life.

The doors open and the bridal melody starts playing. Everyone stands and looks back towards you. Your dress fitting your curves just the way you like you feel like the most beautiful woman today. As your father clasp his arm in yours, he walks you down the isle towards Dante. As you get closer not only can you see his genuine smile but his eyes laced with tears glistening in the lights. Nicola stands behind him and he is looking at Dante's smile today too. Its not hard for anyone to know him to know he is a sad boy most times and that sad boy in the last year has smiled more and more with you than he ever did before you. As you get to the alter your father hands you over to Dante, and he takes your hand to gently guide you to the alter where the vows will be said next.

The vows were sweet you remember that but yet you can't remember the exact words. All those memories still laced in your mind on your wedding day back. Now you are just standing in the garden its a bit chilly tonight when you feel Dante cloak his jacket over you as he wraps his arms around your waist. He whispers in your ear "Another beautiful morning in the garden with my darling wife." You can't help but smile, but he is right being his wife has been the best memories of your life as of yet. You sigh then respond to him as you look back at him "I love being your wife any morning, and every morning for the last year." He kissed your lips so softly before lacing his fingers between yours and walking you back inside. You married him a year ago, today is your anniversary and Nicola wanted to make a big deal about it so they are doing a party into the evening. In your heart you know although at the time the wedding was beautiful it comes no where close to the love in the last year spent with him.

You have decided to share at the party a bit of news and you had been deciding whether to share with Dante before or during that is until you notice one flicker of sadness in his eyes when gazing into them. You reach to his cheek and caress it "What is wrong my love?" It is all you could say but you never wanted to see him sad you have always been there to make him happy. He sighs before telling you "I was just thinking about how much my mom would have loved you." Your heart was warmed by his gesture but also understands why it is a sad moment undertone. He lost her at a young age you were sure that his life would have been different and he may have never met you if not. You have a long talk with him as you walk back to your room. Letting him know that you are sure she would have been so happy for him, there was obviously no room to mention anything that would hurt him more. You made the decision to try to up his spirits.

Soon as you two walk in the bedroom you turn to him as if trying to figure out how you want to start it. He notices your pause as he caresses your cheek before softly kissing your lips. "What is it my love?" His words echoing in your ears as you bite your bottom lip. "I want to tell you something now before the rest of the party knows tonight." You had his full attention as he perked up when he heard you. He takes your hand walks you over to the bed as he holds you close. "What is it?" You could tell with the shakiness in his voice he was surely scared and anxious to what you were going to say. Of the time you been with him you have always found when it comes to serious talks he always is afraid your going to abandon him. Abandonment issues is something Dante suffers with so you have to constantly tell him he is stuck with you, or you can't live with out him. It works for a little bit until he lets his mind get the best of him the next time around.

You smile at him hoping he is going to be happy with your news. "You're going to be a daddy!" You could tell when he gasped and went quiet it was his mind trying to wrap itself around what you just said. Dante does alot of thinking before he ever speaks out when something surprises him especially. He wants to make sure whatever he says that the words don't come off ill willed. He honestly is such a caring moment. As you watch and wait for a response you see a small smile curve up his mouth. His eyes meet yours and your heart wants to beat out of your chest. Its the way he looks at you like your souls are one, like true love has taken you to new heights. It is true you do need him in your life and without him you really don't want to be anywhere else. He leans in smiling now as he kisses you long and passionate. It was an amazing kiss that felt like he consumed you in before he broke away. "I'm so happy right now, I can't wait to start our family."

Later that evening at the party Dante wasted no time getting everyone's attention. For someone who isn't much of a extrovert he was so proud of the woman he had married a year ago as well as the baby you two were going to have. The room went dead quiet as he boasted about you and the baby like the rest of the world somehow didn't matter anymore. Every kind word, every romantic sentence was all about him expressing his love and adoration to you. Nicola congratulated us and hugged Dante tight. We had decided to let him know we had already planned on making him and Leo uncles to our baby. Your journey to get here wasn't always easy but as Dante holds your hand to his chest letting you feel his heart beat you knew everything was worth it to get here to this moment. He kissed you deeper and more passionate that every time before it. Your heart was happy, your life complete since you found the love of your life.

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catlunisciawrites · 10 months

Text

EARTHBOUND/MOTHER 2 AU IDEA

Oh brain came up with a interesting eartbound/mother 2 au situation, aka what would of happened 10 years later if Ness and the team didn't do the thing in year 19XX (if I remember the year right), like what if they went to take Gigas on when they are older 20 somethings not young teens. More under the cut because damn I had ideas

Giygas would take over the world and it would be post apocalypses most likely a weird tech heavy apocalypse if I think right but lets talk about the kids. They are the more main focus of this pile of blathering of a mad woman.

From what I have thought so far is Paula is well. So she was kidnaped by the Happy Happism cult during the events of the game to make into a priestess of said cult, Now, while there could be a dark turn for her, I disagree, there are lines in the game where she admits she will try to get the hell out...She has Psi powers, she is strong, a glass canon but thats still a canon so she could of taken them down, Now it wouldn't be instant but maybe a couple years of her secretly honing her powers to become stronger, maybe going with the bit till she takes them down from the inside all we know is she escaped and got out. She is very...angry, I think due to not only getting kidnapped by Happy Happism but also other times, She gets kidnapped at least twice in game so I would get very annoyed after a while so her on edge of getting taken would be there. I also like to think if someone does get kidnap she is the first to get up and go save them, not wanting another to deal with what she dealt with. Still with her trusty frying pan to take out those if her psi energy is depleted, her prayers never answered...till Giygas is being taken down similar to end of game.

Poo would be a Prince of a fallen Kingdom. His Kingdom Dalaam did fight against Giygas, fought his armies well but got overwhelmed and taken down, Poo being taken out of kingdom for safety he did fight, but he was then told to leave because someone has to lead Dalaam when Giygas is finally taken down, him knowing of this prophecy due to part of his training, he when better journeys off to not only train and gather the Kings items (which he does get the complete set due to training and battle) He is off to find the others not Ness, He knows this group needs to be made and formed to take Giygas down, its shown in game he was aware of it before Ness even met Buzz Buzz so he is now on this quest.

Jeff Andonuts is interesting my mind, So in this universe I like to think Giygas as a way to make sure he is not taken down has rounded up anyone who uses Psi Powers and has either had them join is side (aka the cowards, the pokeys etc of the world join him) or imprisoned in some horrible way maybe using them for some form of evil may it be a power source or something details not full on that. Which would explain why Dalaam was gone after first they have people who use Psi Powers via Muu Training they are powerful. But what does this have to do with little Jeff here? Well he is never detected, not seen as a threat, even though with his genius skill he defiantly is, heck his very distant father even decided to talk to him when shit went down because he knew both of them together could help others. His lab being used as a shelter almost in Winters. They have been working on weapontry to take down the monsters around them, and even possibly a item that can hide psi users let them use their powers with out being detected. Little finikey on that one right now but I do know he has made a lot of weapons, and really loves using those bottle rockets.

Now you maybe wondering, What about Ness? The main protag of the Earthbound story what did he do since he isn't the one traveling finding the others what will he do? Well when the attacks happened, He was at home with his mom and sister, he used his trusty baseball bat and well SMASH! he has a talent for it, he also has psi abilities and used them to heal his family when they got hurt, That is what he did a lot of when the world became what it is, when not in hiding he was healing, or protecting.

Now Other characters in the story in this au while details not fully fleshed out I have ideas.

Porky/Pokey is a high ranking member of the Giygas army. Shocking no one he bent over to him to keep himself safe and loved by his parents. So you know similar to game. Not much changed with his dysfunctional family. Picky is a good kid still though.

The Runaway 5 is interesting in this AU. So Attack happens building they were forced to work at gets majorly damage, contract more or less null and void now. So they are now free and they travel through out the land in their the van, Giygas doesn't deem them a threat they are a washed up band what will they do? But here is the thing, they are doing something. They do keep bumping into Poo and later on the others when they finally group up. They learn what they have been doing. Poo first talked about the Prophecy of the 3 boys and one girl meant to stop the great evil which is a great story lets be honest. The group use it as inspiration for new songs, using the stories these 4 young 20 somethings and their adventures to try and stop Giygas. The Runaway 5 are the ones bringing hope to the common people, they are the ones relaying what is happening. The families use their concerts as a covert way to learn what is happening to them. The underground resilience against Giygas sing these songs using them as inspiration and hope.

That one day, these 4 young 20 somethings, from different parts of the world, will collect what is needed, and take down Giyas

This is my idea of an au I wrote it down maybe I could possibly work on it some more later on, I have an idea for art of it at least which will take a bit to draw. If anyone is actually interested in this please tell me, I have ideas but I am not the best at like writing the ideas into actual scenes...hence why so much of my fanfic takes a long time to write. It takes me a bit. Would love an opinion.

#mother 2 #earthbound #au fic #alternate future #fan fic #ness #jeff andonutsfan #fanfic #concept fic #ideas #poo #paula jones

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the-kittens-of-vol-tron · 2 years

Note

Langst: using the Taylor swift lyric "and I can go anywhere I want just not home"

Yes yes yes

Short but angsty

(I don't own any aspect of this song, all rights go to the proper individuals)

-----

Lance stared out into the never-ending space, letting Blue take control of their tract home. Home. Back to Earth. The only thing he had been thinking about since he was launched into space all those years ago.

Hunk was rambling about seeing his family again, how old his younger siblings were, and the food he was excited to cook again.

Pidge chimed in a lot. While she found her brother and father and knew her father was back on Earth she still missed her mom. She was excited to see her again and apologize for leaving.

Shiro talked about his fiancé, a guy named Adam. Unless Pidge’s father told everyone what happened he still thought Shiro was dead; he couldn't wait to see him again. His name was a bit familiar, Lance had seen him around the garrison.

Keith even talked about what he was looking forward to when they reached Earth. Apparently, he wanted to see a couple of bands in concert and build a new hoverbike.

Coran and Allura expressed their own excitement. After hearing about Earth for the past couple of they were impatiently waiting to see it for themselves.

“What about you Lance? What are you excited about?”

Lance fought back a frown as he thought about his family. “I’m excited to see the ocean again.” He laced his voice with fake happiness. Something he had mastered years ago.

Everyone was clearly waiting for him to say more, but he never did.

---

“Welcome home,” Iverson stood in front of them, a smile sitting awkwardly on his gruff face.

After some small conversations, Iverson pulled Lance to the side, his face holding a somber expression. “Your family...they well.” He avoided Lance’s gaze, watching the others hug their family and loved ones.

Lance nodded, feeling a bit empty inside as he watched his team. “It’s okay.”

---

That was a couple of months ago, the Galran were officially beaten and Lance and the others were in their retirement stage already. Lance had followed his team to their homes, met their family, and tried his best to fall into his new life.

"Lance!"

He looked up from the book he was reading, his entire team standing in front of him. "Yeah?"

Shiro sent him a warm smile, "it's time for you to take us somewhere important to you."

Lance blinked at his team, why were they asking him to do this? "Uhhh...why?"

"We've dragged you around the whole world, we want to return the favor. Learn more about our favorite purple paladin." Pidge said a wide smile on her face at her own color joke.

Lance stared down at the book in his hands, "I have nowhere to take you all." He ran his fingers over the hardcover, letting his fingers trace the indent of the title. "Nowhere important like what you all have shared with me."

"Come on buddy. You said you wanted to see the ocean. Let's all go to your favorite beach." Hunk sat down next to his friend, pulling him in for a side hug.

"If I had one, I'd tell you. But seriously guys. I'm happy here, we don't need to go anywhere for me."

The team frowned at him, leaving the room in silence.

The team didn't give up, they brainstormed together, trying to figure out where they could take Lance. He hadn't seen his family since they came back to Earth, he didn't even mention them at all. He became quiet when they came back, more reserved than what they were used to in space.

Coran finally remembered a detail Lance had mentioned to him while they were still on Arus. Varadero Beach.

They had a plane reserved and everything packed that night.

Lance stared out the window, letting his vision blur on the white clouds. He had no idea where the team was dragging him, they wouldn't say no matter how many times he asked.

The plane finally began its descent and Lance felt his heart drop as he looked at the familiar ground below. Ground he never was supposed to see again.

The plane landed sooner after, the team chattering happily as they collected their things to exit.

Lance stared down at his hands, why was he here?

"Lance? Are you coming with us? The beach is waiting!" Coran called from where he stood, a bit too much sunscreen on his face and a hat already on his head.

He shook his head no.

"What do you mean no?" He could feel the team's eyes on him and he wished he stayed in bed.

"I can't...I want to go back to the Garrison. Or just somewhere else."

The team made a collective sound of confusion. Shiro quickly fell back into his leadership role and sat down in the seat across from Lance.

"Lance, we're in Cuba. This is your home. We're right next to Varadero beach...don't you want to go."

Lance shook his head again, keeping his eyes trained on his hands. "I can't."

"But you're home," Pidge said in a confused voice.

Lance shrugged.

"Can you explain? Tell us what's going on." Shiro said his voice light.

"Yeah, let us help you!" Hunk added.

Lance sighed, "y'know," he lifted his head slightly. "I can go anywhere I want." He allowed his eyes to look at his home one more time. For the last time before he reached up and closed the blind to his window.

He felt himself break slightly, trying to swallow down the emotions that he had kept buried for years. Emotions he had meticulously locked up. "Anywhere I want, just not home."

-----

I left what happened to his family open so you could decide the "issue" (did they banish him? Are they dead?)

I hope you don't mind how short this is, but I didn't want to drag it on

Thank you!!! <3

#langst #lance angst #my writing #long posted #lance #lance vld #lance voltron legendary defender #lance voltron #taylor swift #my tears ricochet #posted to ao3

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leebrontide · 8 months

Text

Secondhand Origin Stories, Chapter 10

Here's this week's chapter! Reblogs welcome!

For those of you just joining us, I'm posting a chapter a week of my free near future scifi/low neon cyberpunk YA/NA novel, Secondhand Origin Stories, which has been described as

"-a character driven, compelling story full of family, queerness, corruption, brain altering nanites, secretly teen parenting AIs, and taking aspects of the superhero genre to their very human and rarely-explored natural conclusions."

For an index of already uploaded chapters that hopefully I will remember to update, content warnings and more, check here:

You can follow along by following #SHOSweekly

Chapter 10

This was the first time Opal had been inside the Tillman’s private apartment.

Despite this being a family home with two kids, it looked like a magazine or movie set. Everything was a gleaming white-- the glossy marble floors, the walls reaching for the vaulted ceiling, the intricate crown molding, the huge white U-shaped couch. What wasn’t white was either ivory, like the countertops, or utterly transparent, like the long beveled-edge dining table. It was a palace of clouds, hovering above the city skyline, which looked bleached to match in the noontime sun. The storm had passed, and the city was searingly shining and bright. Its reflected light glittered steadily off of nearly every pearly surface. Everything about this home was expensive, precise, and spotless.

In the middle of all of it was Dr. Tillman, on the couch. Her suit was white, seamless, and perfectly printed to her measurements. Even the streaks of her pale reddish-blonde hair seemed like the veins in the marble, as if she’d been made from the same materials as her estate.

In front of her, her kids seemed made of much less sturdy stuff. If Dr. Tillman was marble, Issac looked like rumpled paper that’d been erased a few too many times. He stood, keeping well back from his mom. Jamie stood just behind him, still looking like an unfinished watercolor. Their mom had been trying to get one or both of them to sit down with her since the three of them had come upstairs.

Three hours earlier, Dr. Tillman had listened to her daughter’s explanation of what had gone on that morning, got up, and said she was getting some coffee. She’d never come back down. She seemed beyond startled when the three of them had walked in. She did, in fact, have a full cup of coffee in front of her, but it wasn’t steaming.

Opal had seated herself at the dining table, barely in Dr. Tillman's peripheral vision, hoping that Jamie and Issac's mom would prove herself able to handle whatever was going on in her family, and trying to stay out of the way. Opal wasn’t sure what she’d do if this last failsafe failed them. Who could she go to, then?

Issac finally spoke, fear making his voice reedy. “OK, the thing is, Mom...” He gulped. “I don’t want you to take this personally.”

Jamie grimaced silently as Dr. Tillman grew visibly more alarmed. Ouch. What a terrible start.

“It’s not personal, it’s just I’m legally an adult now. And so I have to do what’s best for me.” He paused, apparently distracted from some pre-planned speech. “Wait, where’s Dad? I don’t want to do this twice.”

Dr. Tillman's eyes darted to her daughter, who looked out the window. “Your father is still downstairs in the clinic.”

“Why? They can’t discuss my medical records with him.”

Dr. Tillman clearly hated having this conversation, but she answered with barely detectable hesitation. “He’s downstairs because his clavicle is broken.”

This derailed Issac completely. “What? How’d that happen?”

Jamie mumbled, “We got into a fight.”

“You got into a fight with Dad and he has a broken collarbone?”

“I gather Yael got involved,” Dr. Tillman answered with a cold fury. Opal wondered who it was directed at.

Issac's head snapped back to face his mother, horrified and shocked. “Yael?” Dr. Tillman nodded, the picture of dignified sadness. Issac looked at his sister again. Jamie crossed her arms tight over her chest, her narrow jaw set, still staring out the too-bright windows.

Issac's mouth opened. He seemed to have a hard time wrapping his mind around this. So, whatever was going on now, it was a change from before. It was a change from what Issac knew was going on, at least. Resolve settled into place on his face. He straightened. “OK, well, this just underscores my decision. Mom, I’m moving out. And Yael’s coming with me.”

“And me,” Jamie added with ironclad determination. Issac looked less sure of that part.

Dr. Tillman's elegant eyebrows arched past the point of elegance, wrinkling an otherwise ageless brow. Dr. Tillman didn’t raise her voice at all. “No. You’re not,” she answered, as if this was a perfectly obvious statement of fact.

“I’m eighteen,” Issac countered.

This strained Dr. Tillman. Her throat worked for a moment. “You are. Your sister isn’t.”

“I’m sixteen,” Jamie said softly. Opal couldn’t see her face from here, but the guilt in Jamie’s voice was contradicted by the rooted, solid way she stood, and the still and stubborn set of her shoulders.

“Right,” her mom agreed.

Jamie drew herself up further and leveled her chin, but kept looking out the window at the wider world. “In Illinois, sixteen-year-olds have the right to select their own legal guardian, as long as that guardian is eighteen or older. I looked it up.”

Dr. Tillman's eyes widened. For the first time, her voice had a sharpened edge. “Martin,” she demanded.

The voice from the lobby came, expressionless now, and quiet. “She is correct.”

Jamie still wouldn’t look at her mom. “You could fight it, but you’d have to take it to court.”

Opal’s mouth dropped open. That was cold. And brutally effective. Even under the best circumstances, that court case would be a media three-ring circus. And who knew what Jamie had to tell the judge or reporters?

Maybe Jamie didn’t need so much in the way of protection, after all. Issac gaped at his sister, apparently not expecting this any more than Opal had.

Dr. Tillman might as well have turned into marble after all. She was frozen-- ankles crossed, hands folded tidily in her lap, back straight as her daughter’s. Only her eyes were opened wide in horror, and her jaw clenched, as if she was holding back a cry of pain. She visibly struggled to find words for a moment. When she found her voice, it trembled like vibration coming through stone. “Jamie, if this is about what happened with your dad--”

“It’s not,” Jamie interjected immediately, finally looking at her mom.

Dr. Tillman kept on talking. “If it’s about that, we can figure something else out. I could--”

“Mom, it’s not about that--”

“We could leave. There is no earthly reason for you to do this. You’re sixteen.”

Opal had seconds to enjoy the flood of relief at finding a sensible, protective parent before Jamie interrupted, “Mom, stop!” Dr. Tillman lapsed into silence, but it didn’t look like she’d stay there long.

Issac, who’d been ping-ponging between them during this exchange, burst in. “What the hell happened this morning?”

He was treated to two surprisingly identical looks of muted fury from both his sister and his mom. His mom was the one that answered. “What happened this morning, young man, is that you decided to recklessly and stupidly abuse the trust I placed in you, as well as the equipment no other boy your age could even dream of having at his disposal, to endanger yourself, break several federal and international laws, violate numerous codes of ethical medical conduct, and treat yourself as a lab rat while leaving your sisters to watch you almost kill yourself.”

At the last part, Jamie flinched hard enough, Opal could see it from across the room.

Issac rounded on his mom. He’d snapped. “I was just doing what our family does! You want to talk about lab rat, how about Dad? How about Drew? Or Jenna? YOU helped make her into Bion in the first place! I’m trying to fix myself. From something that only happened to me because of my family. You decided to raise us here. You decided to marry a superhero. You decided I couldn’t be in a room full of superheroes when all of this happened! I didn’t decide any of that! If I’m going to be in danger like a Voss, then I am damn well going to fix myself like one! Even you do stuff to yourself all the time! You’ve always got to have something nipped or tucked or some shit. Hell, you want to get on my case for recklessly endangering myself? I’m just trying to get back to normal. I’m not the one who was dumb enough to almost starve herself to death!”

Opal pressed her back into the dining chair. Jesus, no one in this family knew how to pull any punches. Jamie gaped at him. The way Issac’s mom recoiled, she never expected such a low blow. They kept shocking each other-- they must have treated each other better, once. Why couldn’t they go back to that?

Dr. Tillman shot to her feet. “Fine. Get out then. Go. Go and have a taste of the real world. Both of you.” Both her kids looked at her, silent, unmoving. “Well? Go! You both know where your luggage is. You can pack. And bring anything you can carry, because I don’t want to see either of you again until you’ve managed to find at least two brain cells to put together. Go!” She gestured violently at the hallway, and they both scrambled, rushing out of her view.

Leaving Opal in the living room with Dr. Tillman. Just in time for a muffled sob, and the first actual spilling of tears Opal had seen today. Opal was 99% sure Dr. Tillman had forgotten she was there. Opal didn’t even want to shift in her seat, not wanting any of the attention that could come her way in this bizarre situation.

Dr. Tillman shook her head, speaking to herself, “This is insane. I can’t…” She took a few unsteady breaths that didn’t seem to do her any good. She spoke a little louder, anger returning to her face. “Martin, access my bank accounts.”

“Yes, Dr. Tillman.”

“Transfer the entire balance of the accounts ending in 0758 and 0923 into the account ending in 3467.”

“Transfer complete.”

Bank account numbers? Was Opal actually invisible? She felt incredibly alone here. Didn’t dare to move, hardly dared to breathe. Dr. Tillman had drained their bank accounts. Issac had just had his birthday; his bank accounts must have had an adult’s name on them. And Jamie didn’t technically own anything. It was legal.

Opal was sitting in a very pretty shark tank.

But Opal wasn’t invisible, and something as big and dark as she was couldn’t not stand out in a place like this. Dr. Tillman startled in a sharp, aggressive way once she noticed Opal again. Her eyes narrowed. “Ms. Flynn,” she said, coming to some kind of conclusion. She had long strides, and made a beeline right to Opal.

Should Opal stand up? Should she keep sitting? What was the polite response here? Did Opal want to be polite?

She stayed sitting. Dr. Tillman stopped just shy of coming close enough to loom. “Well, Ms. Flynn. You wanted your chance, and now you have it. My son has been kidnapped two times. Yael once. By some miracle, Jamie never. I don’t expect this exercise in stupidity to last very long. But whatever its duration, I would like the numbers I just gave you to stay exactly the same. And someone. Some idiot is going to see this as a chance to take a pot shot at the team via my children.

“If that person is altered, all you can do is back up Yael, and call for the team. Do you understand? I want you to call for backup. You’re strong, but you can’t fight, and I don’t want any teenagers getting killed in this. If they’re unaltered, use your best judgment. I promise to support your actions in court to the full extent that I am able. And I will see to it that you are fully compensated for your work.

“Martin, put my number as well as the rest of the team’s into her cell phone.” Opal’s phone beeped.

Dr. Tillman gathered herself, hellfire in her eyes. “I expect there to be an opening on the team very soon.”

Oh. Just how powerful was this woman?

But Opal had just been questioning whether she could work here. Whether she could take orders from a system this broken. Was it OK to take an offer like this?

At the end of the day-- Dr. Tillman was asking her to protect people. People who may have just done some very questionable things-- but who didn’t seem to want to hurt anybody. Whether she’d be a superhero or not, she still wanted to protect people.

Opal nodded. Mission accepted.

* * *

What to pack? How long did he have? Issac looked over his room, having a hard time processing things. He was leaving. He was leaving and told not to come back. He was, for all practical purposes, disowned. By his mom at least. And Dad--

This time, the discomfort of the contacts told him that the blurring of his vision was just tears in his eyes.

Issac tried to hush his voice. “Martin? Can you hear me?” Martin had answered Mom in the living room, so Issac’s temporary blocks must have worn off by now, just like they were supposed to.

No answer. “Martin?”

He tried to let himself be a little louder. “Martin.”

Nothing. Even if Martin hadn’t wanted to be overheard, Issac was sure he could get into these contacts.

He was refusing to talk to Issac.

Issac moved back to a whisper. “Martin, I’m sorry. I am. But you were expecting me to leave. And now I’ve got a screen with me 24/7.” Still nothing. “Martin, come on.”

Ground under him shifted. He jumped back at the crumbling sensation, expecting the ground to drop out from under him. The tiles of his bedroom floor were cracked, with several shallow craters bigger than his foot. Baffling manifestations of everything falling apart. He stared at them. They didn’t move-- they hadn’t been there before. He felt like he was losing his mind-- things were disintegrating here so much faster than he could account for.

Issac felt his control slipping. “C’mon. Not you too. Not with Mom and…”

MARTIN: This is a bad idea. It won’t work.

Issac exhaled. He headed into the closet, pulling out his carry-on. “Too late for that. You heard her.”

She’s emptied your bank accounts.

He paused, one hand on a shirt he’d been about to pull off its hanger. She couldn’t do that.

She could. She absolutely could. Shit. Well, what the hell was he supposed to do then? She’d told him to go, and then turned around and made that impossible. Did she want him to be homeless? Deaf, concussed, and homeless? Was she actually trying to kill him?

For a breath or two, that actually seemed plausible. “Can you--”

You know I can’t.

Issac probably could. Could get into his mom’s account and get his money back, if he tried hard enough. But then he really would get arrested.

DOOR KNOCKING

“Martin, who is it.”

Opal Flynn.

Crap. Right. The audience for his family’s collapse. “Uh. Sure. Come in, I guess.”

She hurried in, closing the door right behind her, as if she was worried about being followed, and leaned against it. He could just see her from in here.

Yes, hi, random girl. So happy you always seem to turn up when I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown. He just looked at her, one hand still on a shirt sleeve.

OPAL FLYNN: So, I was thinking maybe while you get settled, you and your siblings might want to move in with me? I have an apartment-- sort of. I have space, anyway. Rent free.

The hell? He didn’t even know her. “What?”

She bit her lip, moving a little further into the room. It just seems like maybe a little extra security might be good? I’m altered, so…

“I don’t even know you.” He turned, pulling the shirt down, and going for the one after it. His eyes still itched. She was standing near the craters.

OPAL FLYNN: But Jamie and Yael do. And your security system here seems to like me.

Issac stopped. Like? He looked back at her. “Is that right, Martin?”

MARTIN: She has thus far exercised excellent judgment and character within my view and within my conversations with her.

She beamed gratefully at the ceiling. Martin’s opinion seemed to mean something to her. She looked at Issac, then briefly back to the ceiling, before turning back to Issac. OPAL FLYNN: Oh, sorry, did I interrupt you two? She looked at the ceiling again. Martin, were you in the middle of--

MARTIN: I was not. This is not the person I was primarily speaking of. Nor is he especially receptive to in-depth communication at this time.

Issac would have given one of the cameras a dirty look, but he was distracted by the way Opal was talking to Martin.

It was dangerous. It was risky for Martin to have talked to someone else in a way that would lead to that. But Martin had. Which meant Martin really did trust her.

She continued. OPAL FLYNN: Maybe we should stay in touch. I’m always happy to have another pen pal.

MARTIN: It would be my pleasure, Opal.

Whoah, what?

He felt a slight pang of jealousy, but Martin was making himself very clear here. He trusted Opal. He liked her. And if Issac went with her… “OK. Fine. Uhm. Thanks for the invitation. We’ll do that, then.”

Her offer must have been genuine, because his answer seemed to relieve her.

OPAL FLYNN: Cool. I’ll go call Aldis. And…wait for you in the courtyard. OK?

He nodded. She left.

“You made a friend, Martin?”

MARTIN: I’ll feel better about you leaving my security grid if you go with her. Also, if you continue to wear those contacts and medical bracelets, so I can stay in contact.

“…Are you mad at me?”

A pause. Yes.

“And so are Jamie and Yael.”

Yael, I think, less so than the others. However, your mother is enraged. And I suggest you return to packing immediately.

Right. His exile. Officially booted off Mt. Olympus. Did that make him Hephaestus? The ugly and disfigured Olympian?

No, Hephaestus was still a god, if a pathetic one. And he’d been allowed back on the mountain at his mother’s order.

He’d better be Prometheus then, and steal what he could while he was here. He’d backed up his data ahead of time; he fished it out from under the mattress, shoving it in his pocket.

Maybe, if he really could put his life together, he’d be allowed back one day. Mom would have to see him at trade shows, at any rate. And Dad…

That issue was too big and too baffling. His brain shut down when he tried to even touch it. He grabbed a blazer instead, and threw himself into frantic theft from the place he used to call home.

* * *

“Are you going to pack that?”

Yael looked up from the worn, dented, slightly gnawed action figure. Xe hadn’t meant to stare at it like that. It wasn’t even a good likeness of Papa. Xe was embarrassed he caught xyr wasting time like that. “No, I’ll bring some pictures. Much more practical.” Xe could only bring the essentials. Xe had no idea where xe was going.

Papa’s small smile was warm and thankful. As badly as xe’d wanted to hurt him this morning, xe hated seeing him thankful for xyr affection now. He didn’t trust their bond anymore. What a time for Yael to leave. He turned to look at the six square feet of pinned-up printed photos covering the wall opposite the windows. The center of xyr long, slow-growing collection was faded. Their shared family history spiraled and sprawled across the gray.

Well, the nice parts of their history. So much of xyr life was un-photographed. There were no pictures of fights, sleepless nights, or missing family. There was nothing particular to mark Jenna’s sudden disappearance from the pictures. This morning wouldn’t leave any pictures-- just the end of the collection xe’d leave here to fade.

Xe tapped down an urge to search the pictures to see if there were hints in old photos of xyr family’s breakdown. Papa only noticed xyr staring. “That suits me. If you stay long enough to sort through all of those, you’ll never leave.”

Ugh, why did he have to be so nice right now? Xe threw the toy at him. He plucked it out of the air, and set it in xyr suitcase with a sad, sentimental smile. Xe turned back to the shelf, where the rest of xyr collection stood. Xe grabbed Capricorn and Bion, and hesitated. Just LodeStar left on the shelf, as beat-up and well-loved as the rest. Xe transferred the other two toys to xyr left hand, and picked up LodeStar, looking at it more closely.

The silver-black crept out of xyr skin where xyr hand touched the toy. The sensation of wet cracks shuddered up xyr arm again.

Xe almost threw the thing. Xe turned, ready to drop it in the garbage, where it belonged. But xyr hand tightened on the toy. Wouldn’t let go. The plastic creaked, and the revolting sense memory crawled through xyr flesh again.

Xe placed it back on the shelf, as hard as xe could without knocking the whole thing down. The silver retreated, and xe could finally let it go. Xe left it there, then went to put the other figures in the suitcase. Xe…didn’t have an action figure of Melissa. “Choose one of Melissa, will you?”

Papa got up off the the bed, moving quietly towards the photo wall. Xe couldn’t look at it now. Xe’d get lost forever trying to find answers in the pictures.

“You have to take care of the hamsters. I’ll come back for them when I know where we’re going.”

“Of course I will.”

“And keep looking for Skittles. And if you find her, give her a big grape, and let her eat as much of it as she wants before you put her with the others.” Yael didn’t want to go. The outside world was full of doors xe had to duck through, cars xe didn’t fit in, and fragile people who didn’t know xyr.

“I’ll miss you.” He carefully pulled one of the photos off the wall.

“Don’t make me cry,” Yael warned.

“But I know you’ll come back. At least to visit. And to train. And maybe you can talk Issac and Jamie into visiting, too?”

“I don’t even know where we’re going,” Yael grumbled. “But I’ll try to come back to train.”

Xe headed to the bathroom, to pack toiletries. Papa kept going. “And when you come back, we can discuss…the other thing.”

Xe almost snapped xyr toothbrush in half. Xe stuck xyr head out of the bathroom. Papa was sitting on the bed again, elbows braced forward on his knees, eyes on the pictures.

Papa had always been age-stable. So, to Yael, it was normal that he never changed. But at that moment, xe felt like xe was looking at a younger version of him. He’d barely been older than Yael was now when xe was born. When he’d chosen one family over another. How had xyr 18-year-old papa looked, bringing an infant to a place he could barely call his home? Those pictures weren’t on the wall, either.

The moment was too hard to walk away from. Xe couldn’t leave the building with him looking like that. Xe couldn’t think of anything xe could do or say to snap him out of it.

Eventually, he turned to xyr. “What do I call you, then?”

“What?”

“You’ve banned me from calling you my daughter. But I don’t think you want me to call you my son.”

“Oh. No. That’s…really not any better for me.”

“Then what do I call you?”

“Just call me yours.”

* * *

Jamie had expected doing the right thing to feel better than this. She slipped past Mom’s door, hearing crying inside. But Jamie wouldn’t be welcome in there unless she changed her mind, which she couldn’t do. She lugged her suitcase through the great room, trying not to look at anything. She knew every room by heart; she didn’t need to look around.

She dropped the heavy case just outside her own front door. She’d taken a risk and slung her guitar case across her back. Issac hadn’t reacted to her guitar earlier, and she needed calming things right now.

Yael was already sitting in the hanging chairs, xyr suitcase at xyr feet. Solomon was hovering next to xyr. Opal was across the courtyard, on her phone, talking quietly. Ugh, Jamie had made things hard for her yet again. Everyone turned to look at Jamie. She’d heard Issac still packing in his room.

She licked her lips, looked at Solomon, and dragged her suitcase further into the courtyard. “No Drew?”

“He’s downstairs, taking care of some things. I’ll explain things to him when he comes back. Expect him to want to visit very soon.”

Jamie huffed. “I just wish I knew where he’d be visiting.”

Opal walked over, slipping her phone back in her suit pocket. “Got that taken care of. In the short term, anyway. You guys can stay with me. It’s not fancy, but there’s space.”

Jamie felt the briefest flash of suspiciousness at being invited into the home of someone she’d known all of two weeks. But being suspicious of Opal wasn’t sustainable. She was too honest, too sweet, and too admirable for Jamie to work up any real suspicion towards her. “Thanks, but I don’t think Issac--”

“He already said yes.”

Jamie blinked, surprised. Yael beat her to an out-loud reaction. “He accepted your help?”

“Yes?” She looked at each of them. “Why, is that weird?”

The door opened and shut with a bang, and Issac and his bag almost ran Jamie over. ”Let’s get this shit-show on the road.”

“Aldis is almost to the parking garage,” Opal answered.

Yael sighed heavily, standing.

Jamie couldn’t resist looking around the courtyard as they headed towards the elevator. She’d be back here eventually, right?

Something small, shining, and rectangular caught her attention, right by Dad’s door. She walked over and bent down, picking it up. Jenna's deck of cards, kicked to the side and ignored. Her little gift, rejected.

She couldn’t imagine the dad she’d grown up with ignoring these. Maybe that dad really was gone.

The elevator opened. Issac went in first, without even acknowledging Solomon, then Opal, then Yael, with two suitcases. It was a little crowded.

Solomon’s hand landed on Jamie's shoulder. “We’ll take the next one.”

The door closed, and Jamie braced herself. She was very tired of being the center of intense attention today. He kneeled, one hand on each of her arms-- a dirty trick to make it harder for her to avoid eye contact. He looked into her eyes earnestly. “Jamie, I’m sorry. If I’d realized what was happening, this morning would have gone differently.”

Jamie didn’t know what to say to that. It’s OK would be met with immediate resistance. And her anger was all burnt out by now. She looked away, willing the elevator door to open. There were six elevators, and Solomon had said they’d go down. Why wasn’t one opening?

“Jamie, how are you? And don’t just say you’re ‘fine’.”

Well, what was she supposed to say when he’d already denied her answer? She was fine. She wasn’t sobbing in her bedroom like Mom, or down in surgery like Dad. She hadn’t taken total leave of her common sense like Yael and Issac. Compared to most of them, she was doing extremely well.

So why was her face crumpling?

Solomon pulled her gently forward. She gave in, just for a minute, and clung to his shirt, hiding her face against the fabric. Her breath caught, puffed out, then caught in her throat again.

“Oh, Jamie, Jamie. Brave girl.” Her breath hitched again. He tried for a little humor. “I’ve seen people literally shit themselves, faced with Neil in a rage.”

That hurt. “H-he’s my dad.” Did Solomon agree with Yael? Did he really believe that Dad would have hurt her?

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Of course.” He pulled her closer. “I wish I had some kind of comfort to offer--”

Jamie didn’t want words of comfort. She shook her head, keeping her face down and out of sight against his shoulder. When he didn’t say anything else, the whole day seemed to come crashing down on her, the vacuum of his silence pulling apart her carefully constructed stillness.

She was surprised to find she wasn’t crying so much as she was shivering. Did that mean she was afraid?

She’d never been afraid of her dad, before. She’d been afraid for him. She’d been angry at him. But she’d never been afraid of him. Where was her real dad?

She was thankful that, after a couple of minutes, Solomon relaxed his grip and leaned back, signaling her to pull herself together. She wasn’t sure how long it would have taken her to do it without prompting. He wiped her cheek with his thumb. It was wet from tears. She sniffed, hard, trying to keep her nose from running.

“Call every day?”

She nodded.

“And when your mom calls, you’ll answer?”

She nodded, guts crawling with guilt. He didn’t say anything about Dad. He stood, then bent to kiss her forehead. “Use your head, OK? Don’t wait for your brother to do it just because he’s older. He’s brilliant, but he gets distracted by himself.”

Jamie laughed, weak and watery. That was one way to put it.

“And please, make sure Yael’s being a good guest. She-- xe will mean to, but xe can be so easily distracted, and leave things everywhere. Especially dishes. At least Issac is tidy.” Xe? Well, finally. Jamie managed a little smile. It felt a little good to be mother-henned a bit. “And dress warmly--”

“It’s June,” Jamie interjected.

“I’ve seen you shiver in excessive air conditioning. Maybe I should pack some mittens.” He was teasing now, and it worked. She smiled. But it made her miss her old dad. “Hm? A scarf, maybe?”

“Just go for my big down coat, at that point.”

“Good idea. I’ll bring it the next time I see you.” He didn’t ask about her inhaler, or her medications. He didn’t ask about anything she’d never have forgotten.

“Solomon? Take care of them.”

“Your mom’s resilient--” he started to reassure her.

“All of them,” Jamie said, getting some of her forcefulness back.

“All of them,” he agreed.

#SHOSweekly

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loserchildhotpants · 8 months

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October grows closer.

It is at once my favorite and least favorite time of year.

Every day, regardless of the month, of the year, I am in motion - my friends tell me I'm too hard on myself, some of them even tell me I work too hard, but I am in motion because I am constantly trying to outrun the obsessive belief that harasses me all day and night; I need to justify the space I take up.

I don't feel this way about anyone else. I don't think anyone else needs to justify their own existence.

I'm constantly looking for forgiveness, for someone to say, 'you've finally done enough good to have outweighed the harm you've done (intentionally and/or unintentionally), good work! Now you can rest!'

October comes and reminds me of everything, makes the inside of me so loud, I can't focus.

I was a miracle baby, born at 11:59pm, October 23rd.

I'm a Jewish witch - I love the serious holidays that fall in October, pagan and Jewish, and I love seeing people in silly costumes at the end of it.

The night I turned sixteen, I finally confessed to my parents that I'd been abused most of my childhood. It was around midnight then too.

I had done something unintentionally cruel to a friend (unprocessed trauma makes for some weird fuckin' behaviors), and we weren't exactly on speaking terms. I knew it was my fault, I knew I'd been the fuck-up, but she was my best friend, and I needed her there that night. I called her up, and she showed up.

She wasn't pleased with me. She didn't get why she was there, and I told her first - before my parents.

I told her who had done it - someone she knew. Someone everyone I knew also knew.

"Do you believe me?" I asked.

"Yeah, [person] tried the same thing with me, when I was younger."

I was flabbergasted.

"What happened?"

"I called for my mom," she told me, "why didn't you call for help?"

I don't remember if I said it out loud or not, but the answer was; it hadn't occurred to me as an option, to call for help.

She spent the night, slept as I went downstairs to tell my parents the worst of it, as much as I could assemble the words.

("I think it started when I was around 7 but it could've been earlier than that," "when I went to their house, someone else might've been involved, but my memories are all messed up, I don't remember," "there was a knife - I don't know if everything is okay, down there but I'm too scared to look," "yes, that's why I'm always covered up," "yes, that's why I-" "yes, that's why -" "yes, that's why-")

I hadn't really said the words, I was vague and it was still like clawing up heavy stones from out of my chest.

I'd wanted to die with those secrets. It's a longer story as to why I couldn't - why it fell on my birthday, why I had to come forward or someone else would.

My friend was gone in the morning and distanced herself more permanently.

My parents turned it into a weapon - against each other, and against me. No one knew what to do with me, no one knew how to help, and no one felt particularly inspired to learn how to.

I remember going up the stairs to bed that night, and it felt like I was shedding weights as I climbed the stairs. I'd never felt lighter, I'd never slept better - I thought, 'oh, good, finally, all the Bad Feelings will stop, and I'll be normal.'

My mother co-opts it where she can, is sometimes disbelieving of it, sometimes reduces its severity, but it depends on her audience. My father doesn't speak of it at all, which is fine, because we don't speak and never really have.

The friends I had then - they didn't rally around me. Maybe a month later, I moved 1500 miles away from everyone and everything I'd ever known, and started again. Right in the middle of my Junior year of high school.

My birthday used to be a happy sort of day, and then it became so somber, and regardless of the mood, I was alone in it.

No one understood October 23rd like I did; every year past the year of my first suicide attempt (I was 11) was an incredible mile marker. I didn't think I'd make it that far, I didn't think I'd have it in me - it was a day I had been raised to allot for praising my mother for having given birth to me. It used to be for someone else. I didn't know how to make it about myself, and making it about myself always felt like some sort of trap.

But it was also the day I freed myself of terrible secrets, it's the day that I showed some of my scars and said, 'if I don't live honestly from here on out, I think the memories and secrets will kill me.'

As October nears, I know it will be a countdown to my birthday, because it always is in my own head - it's not just my birthday, it's a day that marks many things, unlikely things, improbable, miraculous, horrible, ugly things.

As it comes closer, the mantra in my head gets louder.

I need to find forgiveness. I need to justify the space I take up. I need to be more helpful, I need to be more active, I need to be smarter, I need to be more cultured, more accomplished, more well-rounded, I need to be more than I am, I need it to serve everyone, endlessly, and I need to smile while I do it, I need to be convenient, I need to try to do better all the time.

That feeling of not being enough encroaches upon me, and I want so badly to enjoy October, but I don't know if I can.

An ex-boyfriend I had dated at the time I came forward accused me of lying about never having had an orgasm in my life (I hadn't), because, "you've been having sex since you were like, five, you probably had it and just didn't know what it was - here, I'll show you."

(He couldn't show me, he didn't, but I faked it because I needed to be convenient.)

There are 4 occasions I can remember that he ignored my 'no,' or pushed past clear barriers, or took advantage of me when I wasn't in my right mind - 3 of them took place AFTER he knew.

With life-long friends dropping like flies, a 21 year old 'boyfriend' my parents LET date me at 15-16 pestering me for my body, the aforementioned situationship with someone who would tell me regularly how hard I was to love, my family retreating into themselves in the face of my trauma - I was falling with no net at the bottom to catch me.

I crashed at the bottom of it all, I picked myself up, and have spent all the years since apologizing for walking with a figurative limp.

The 21 year-old was convinced I'd cheated on him or something. I don't remember, and don't care to. I broke up with him over the phone. The situationship became my boyfriend for the 100th time since we'd known each other, and he was horrible to me, and I took it, and I was grateful for it, because all I knew was that I was hard to love.

So, here comes October.

I came forward 14 years ago. I'm turning 30. And it all still hurts. And I still don't know how to get through October.

The tattoo in my mind, the one that bang-bang-bangs all day and night, telling me I'm not doing enough to justify being alive, that I'm a burden, that I need to do more and be more all the time - it has an edge of fear to it as we inch closer to October. As if I'm running out of time. As if I need to find forgiveness from someone, somehow, and fast, or I might die before I find it, and I'll pay some terrible cosmic price for lacking so much.

I hope that someday, someone throws a birthday party for me. It doesn't have to be a surprise, just - I can't do it myself. I can't. Maybe more to the point - I won't.

And I hope that when they do, if they ever do, in this daydream where anyone gives half a shit about my birthday - I wish they'd tell me they're proud of me. I wish they'd announce that it's not just my birthday, but the anniversary of the night I unveiled the truth and clawed my way to some happiness.

Maybe someday, there will be a celebration of me - and it won't be about telling my mother how brave and heroic she was for the terrifying birth she gave, and it won't be about me entertaining friends that would drop me as soon as I became inconvenient, and it won't be legions of people, but just a small group, just a handful of people that really respect me, that know me, that see me and understand me, and tell me I'm worth something still, even after they know it all.

Maybe someday, October won't be so full of loneliness, fear, or utter surety that I'm fundamentally a bad person destined to be abandoned.

Not this year, but maybe some year. Maybe some October.

#long post #personal #melanie lives #SA mention #CSA mention #i know a lot of this must be disjointed and confused #my head's in a million places #if anyone wants to wish me a happy birthday when it comes #just tell me 'you've been good enough to make up for the bad'#that's the wish i guess right?#the real one is that i'll make it up somehow #to the universe or my parents or my past friends #'you left me and so that means i must have failed you or hurt you or disappointed you and im so sorry abt that but look at me now! see?'#'i worked so hard to be worthwhile. i hope that makes up for it all'#ugh sorry for being so maudlin

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darklydeliciousdesires · 2 years

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Beyond the Blood Tie - Chapter Seven.

*Puts on Oprah voice* You get another chapter, and you get another chapter! Lol! Thanks to the few who are showing interest in this, I appreciate you SO much for your continued interacting. Those just offering likes, could I tempt you into commenting or reblogging? Helping me promote this story a little really would mean the world to me!

Previous Chapters - One Two, Part One Part Two Three Four Five Six

Words - 6,109

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

Edie’s POV

"Edie, are you with us? We're getting dessert, you want anything?" Miley asks me, shaking me from the little trance state I’ve slipped into. I think she must have put the question to me more than once.

"Sorry, erm, yeah get me a slice of the flan I saw, thank you.” My reply is absent, Miley nodding as she gets up and heads over to the dessert bar. We're in an all you can eat for twenty-five dollars kind of restaurant, and believe me, we've eaten all we can thus far. Of course, we've saved a little room for dessert, though, that'd just be rude to refuse some lovely sweet treats.

"You've been noticeably quiet today for someone so damned chatty. Is everything okay?" Sasha inquires kindly, before the realisation hits her. "Shit, sorry I asked. I know, your mom." She reaches out with a sad smile, giving the top of my hand a little rub.

This is why I lost my shit couple of days ago when the vampire managed to pick up on a memory of my mother. He can't have gained any knowledge on what she used to do to me, exactly, or he'd have said so, and not constantly questioned me over who she was. True, I always channel a little of the rage I have inside for how she treated me through my profession, but at this time of year I'm extra sensitive. She killed herself, finally doing me the biggest favour she ever could, thirteen years ago this coming Monday. My friends know that, but what they don't know is something I've kept from everyone, something I found next to her body when I found her, something that has never really left me.

I don't speak of it, because I don't want to draw attention to myself, and I don't want to deal with it either. I don't feel sad so much, but I remember what I found, her last words to me. That's why I'm not myself around now. I usually hold it together, but that fucking vampire had to start picking at the scab. I hate that he saw her, and I hate that he's got it firmly in his head that he's going to find out who she is, and why she drives my rage. It's none of his damn business, though. He only wants to know for his own amusement.

"Don't worry, its fine. I'm just tired from work on top of it, so feeling a little down right now. Really, don't stress. You know me, I bounce back ridiculously easily," I reassure her with, Sasha nodding understandingly.

"Well, I know you've got work on Monday, of course, but if you want some company before you head in, I can be available? After all, I do conveniently have next week off work," she offers kindly. Sasha works a job I never could. She's a financial adviser, and oh, how dull to be cooped up all day like a battery hen in a little office behind a desk. Awful.

"Nah, I'm cool, really. I've never needed anyone to hold my hand over the fact my no-good drunk mother died, and I don't intent to start now. Thanks for the offer, though.” My air of finality is read clearly.

"You're welcome." Just then, Miley arrives back, and Sasha and I are treated to an observation from her bizarre brain. Our friend here is famed for them, the fact that she’s... well... a little odd at times. She isn’t stupid by a long shot, but the way her mind works is unique, I’ll give her that.

“This is the flan, isn’t it? I brought this as well, just in case I was wrong.” She places down the correct plate of fruit flan, as well as a crepe. Sasha and I exchange looks.

“That’s a crepe, babe,” she points, Miley taking her seat.

“Oh! I thought because it was flat, it might have been flan. You know, both begin with an f and an l.” More confused looks.

“I’m gonna need a harder drink and another run up to that, honey,” I tell her softly, shaking my head.

“You know! Like a muffin, because it’s big and puffy. Muff, puff.”

Sasha pulls her into a hug. “No, baby. That’s not how it works.”

“Isn’t it? Oh.” I love her so much. She comes out with things that honestly make you wonder about her, but then, see, she can tell you every single one of Shakespeare’s works in chronological order. Sasha and I think it’s because she’s very bright, that something else in her brain overloads from it and she ends up jumbled. Bizarreness aside, I definitely feel like she’s someone who I learn from. She actually listened in school.

She’s the one who actually encouraged me to read in order to educate myself further, using tools such as a very old book store and mini library that just opened up again in recent years after lying dormant and untouched for a hundred years. The squatters who lived in it did a nice job doing it up and applied to take over the business, and since no living heir to the original owner could be documented, they got their wish.

Miley actually works there now, which is nice when I go in and visit, trying to feed my mind a little with what it craves. I used to struggle with a lot and need a dictionary there next to me to look up words I didn't understand, but now I feel my vocabulary is much more advanced, I hardly refer to it any longer. Sometimes, an obvious word will have me stuck and then I'll remember something stupidly long and tricky like surreptitious. That's the word I'd use to describe quite a few things on my mind right now, or rather why I'm being surreptitious about them. My mother is one, and the other, and it pains me to say this, is the vampire.

I really don't know what to make of him, but whatever his intention, he's starting to lure me in a little. I can't let that happen either, whether the times he's complimentary and speaks fairly to me are genuine or not. It isn't part of the job description. Nothing would stop me from knowing him after his release, but that's not going to happen. Like I say, I don't know what to make of him. I don't usually have my emotions stirred by a detainee at all. I'm calm, cold and very professional. If each detainee had me in the kind of mental flap this vampire does, I'd have never lasted the ten years I have.

I don't want to admit it to myself, that I'm attracted to him and interested by him, because I barely know him. Then I remember I'm not attracted to vampires, and it quickly comes to me that he's probably screwing with me anyway. Further to that, I don't like it because I confess (or rather concede) that I do like the way I've caught him look at me on occasion, and then I swiftly remember he's a detainee and none of this should be going through my head.

People warned me not to let him find a way in, and he's beginning to. This is starting to confuse me in a way I do not enjoy, but then again, who actually does enjoy being confused? I know I could sit and talk to my girlfriends here about my woes, but I'm apprehensive over what they might say. Admitting it to someone other than myself would make it more real, these things I'm beginning to feel. He stirs my curiosity so much, all he’s seen, the knowledge he must possess. I mean, that thing about the steel that the chamber was constructed from, for example. Something so small, but I was impressed by it. Most would have no clue that the chambers used to exist as vaults. He did, though.

After lunch, we head up to the main shopping area and have a bit of a typical girl's afternoon, which entails a lot of purchasing of clothes and makeup, but by the time I'm all set to kiss my friend's goodbye, I’m sadly no closer to anything that remotely resembles feeling myself, so head home and spend two hours trying to take my mind off things by having a clear out of my closet. Even though the five skirts I bought are my usual brand of teeny tiny (I have a nice figure that I'm proud of, I like to show it off a little) I still need to allocate a little extra room for them. Allocate, that's my word of the day.

"What on earth was I thinking?" I exclaim when I pull out a pair of tie dye baggy cotton pants and laugh. My taste in clothes can be a little dire at times. I'll put those on eBay, I think, see if anyone out there is as foolish as I was in thinking I could make them work. On I go, actually finding a few items in here that I forgot I owned, such as my lovely white gypsy skirt and my jewelled strap cork wedge shoes that I've been hunting high and low for.

"Hahaha, the Liberace jacket!" I then announce with a barrage of giggles as I pull the huge, white faux fur monstrosity from its place right at the back of my closet. Ahmed came up with the name for it, when he stood pointing and laughing on his thirty fifth birthday last year before shouting 'Holy shit, Liberace lives!' at me. He had a theme for the party, which was pimps and hoes, in case you wondered, and I kinda came as a cross between the two. I was aiming for sexy pimp, so brought this jacket from Goodwill for something ridiculous like ten dollars, and then teamed it with a gorgeous silver and heavily jewelled bikini, silver knee high boots and a white top hat I added lots of glitter and white feathers to, and a cane I attacked with rhinestones and a glue gun. That was such a good night, and you should have seen the guy I went home with too. He was damned hot.

It's just as I'm raiding a few boxes of shoes and planning to give Miley first refusal on the pairs I know I'll never wear again that suddenly I stop, beginning to experience flashes of memories. Again, the memories are not mine. They, of course, belong to the vampire who is never far from my mind of late. I can see a girl screaming 'please, please don't hurt me' and then hear the voice of the vampire telling her 'I'm here to protect you, not hurt you' before the vision that is his plays through my head, seeing him surge at a group of the reanimated, tearing them to pieces.

I then see three other vampires with him, all moving humans to safety while attacking anything that isn’t living until they are just corpses on the floor. The memory then changes again, and I see a wide stretch of open road from the vantage point of being aboard a large motorcycle, switching again, to a scene in an abandoned warehouse, where I see a gun pointed out, the person before me being shot straight between the eyes, a few flashes of random, barely dressed women, too, until suddenly everything goes black, like he's shutting his eyes.

When he opens them again, I get a huge shock, as the face smiling back at him is mine, him leaning close and kissing me softly, his hands stroking through my hair. Now, if he truly was just fucking with me, why would he be thinking about that, about showing me affection? Shaking my head, I try and rid myself of these visions, but keep seeing my face, seeing it through his eyes, stroking my cheeks and neck, pulling me against him, his arms folding around me. I resort to physically pounding my head with my fists to make it go away, making frustrated squeaking noise, feeling freaked out and more when I clearly then hear his voice whisper my name. No. Edie does not like this, not one bit.

"No, no, no. No!" I shout with vehemence, flapping my hands as I come hurtling out of my tiny little walk-in closet (it used to be just a cupboard, until Vic converted it for me) and literally run to the kitchen to pull a bottle of Jim Beam from the fridge, hunting for a clean glass. Sigh, I loaded the dishwasher half an hour ago, all of them within being rinsed through. Ahh, fuck it. Upending the bottle, I take a few neat swigs, feeling a little calmer for it, but not by much.

Does he really want me? And if he does, why do I even care? I don't want him; he's a vampire and they do nothing for me. But then if that is truly true, why is my heart pounding at what feels like three hundred miles an hour? Why are my hands shaking so much that it looks like the whiskey in the bottle in my hand is doing a Samba all on its own? And why... why did I just imagine what it'd be like to kiss him?

"Face it, Bailey. You like him, you've gone and let your guard drop and he's got in. You've fucked up here, girl. You really have," I speak to my reflection in the glass fronted cabinet before me. What makes it worse is the fact I have no one I can talk to about this. If I tell my friends, they'll think I'm insane, if I tell my colleagues, they'll give me shit about how we can't develop feelings or attractions to detainees, and if I tell Vic, he'll probably react with a mix of the two. In times like this, I wish I had parents to turn to, people who are non-judgemental and would love me the exact same anyway, while offering some much-needed sage advice. I know Vic has been like a father to me, but he doesn't understand the way vampires are very well. He'd tell me I can resist it, he'd say he taught me better than to be anything less than the strong woman I know I otherwise am. I don't want to disappoint him in that respect.

I have to resist it, this urge, this pull I feel towards the vampire. He just wants to hurt me, and I know it. I'm his only form of entertainment down there, of course he's messing with me for his own enjoyment. He's a highly intelligent being, with a mind that's beginning to stagnate (stagnate, yesterday’s word of the day) with nothing to occupy it. We never get humans in for this long, so they never have to bother trying to cure their boredom in the same way.

Because he's a vampire though, that is what makes him completely different. Sasha told me a long time ago that they have an allure about them that you just cannot put your finger on, and up until now, I never understood it. I understand it way too much for my liking at present. Feeling all out of sorts and pissed off, I head out into my garden where I keep my weights and bench, and after doing a warm up and twenty minutes of skipping (I love my jump rope) I hit the dumbbells.

I can't use the bar weight as I have no one to spot me, with my neighbours' son Leland being out right now. He usually hops over the fence if I call him over his music and comes to train with me, but he must be off out with his friends since their backyard is totally silent. It is a Saturday, after all. I'm usually out with my friends about now too, having a few warm up drinks at a bar before heading onto a few more, and then finishing up at a club, but I told Ahmed I wasn't in the mood when he invited me, the same with Miley and Sasha. They understood, of course.

Working out usually clears my mind, and in some cases, it even helps me think a little more clearly too. And while I am working out, I feel terrific as usual, lifting the 10kg dumbbells with much more ease than usual, hissing and wincing as my biceps positively burn. Alas, as soon as I'm done and lying in the bath, my head feels restless again, that vampire playing on my mind heavily. Cue a very big, pissed off sigh right here.

Four weeks and two days, that's all I have left now until he'll leave and hopefully, I'll never see him again. Even though when Ahmed voiced that to me recently and I didn't like it, I now think it's going to be the best thing, going forward. I don't like how far inside my head he's got, that he feels the anger I've kept within me at what I found with my mother, her last words to me. He's on the verge of discovering it, and I don't want anyone to. That is my burden alone.

When Monday arrives, despite myself and all the feelings of hatred I have for my mother, I do allow myself a little cry. I selfishly cry more for myself than her, pathetic as I am that still, even at twenty-eight years old, I cannot quite get over having a mom who was truly the furthest thing from it. I only have one nice memory of her, just one.

I remember running out into the garden to find her when I was about three years old, and her shouting 'don't look, baby girl, mama has a surprise!' to me, so I stood and put my hands over my eyes and I didn't peek until she came and picked me up to put me down on the new swing she'd made for me out of a bit of old timber and some rope. She sat me on it and then pulled the rope back with her and let me go, watching me sail through the air, pushing me gently as she laughed. She had such a lovely laugh, back when she was happy. 'Weeee! Look at little Edie fly!' I’m there in my mind, with the sunshine on my face, my mom’s laughter behind me, and a sense of all being serene. She started beating me not long after that, her drinking escalating to cope with the state of her marriage.

I think she resented me because I wasn't the child of the man she'd married, and when he realised that for himself, he began to beat her, the vicious cycle that led to her thus taking it all out on me. She should have taken it out on herself for going against her marriage vows and not forsaking all others as she'd promised. When I was three, I must've started really looking like the guy who was my father, because I don't remember being hit before then. That is what must've sparked it. My earliest memories are the juxtapose of my mother pushing me on that little makeshift swing she'd made, and then of her pushing me into a closet where she locked me away for five hours because I was annoying her, apparently. Deciding not to spend a minute longer feeling sorry for myself, I think of how much worse it could have been.

I could have been one of these poor kids who were sexually defiled by their parents, I could have been an orphan, or I could have been born a hundred years ago when the disaster broke and lost my entire family and even my own life to the lethal D11X virus that claimed the lives of so many. As it stands, I have a good job that pays well, lovely friends and a home of my own. Things could be so much worse. I must be thankful for what I have, the life I made for myself rather than wishing the one I left behind could have been different. Even though I refuse to feel sorry for myself, the significance of the date still continues to linger in my mind for the rest of the day, and thus is still with me when I walk into my chamber at 9pm to begin work.

"What's wrong, Sugar Ray?" the vampire asks quietly, literally as soon as I enter. I don't reply. "Who's upset you? C'mon, tell me, I can feel it in waves." Sugar Ray; he's been calling me that since last Wednesday, when I beat the shit out of the guy who had a taste for misogyny.

"No one," I mutter blankly before taking the lump hammer and deciding to smack the shit out of him with it.

"I hate to sound like a broken record, but I know you're lying. Whoever it is, I hope you gave them hell for it. The woman with the red hair, per chance?" He groans in pain when the silver hammer in my hand connects with his stomach.

"Again, I ask. Why do you even care?" Walking around to his back, I aim a welt right between the shoulder blades. He actually huffs a long sigh before he answers.

"Alright, I might as well be straight with you. Trying to mentally fuck with you doesn't work any longer, much to my annoyance, and I don't really want to either, because I've come to realise something. I actually respect you, and that's the honest truth. Also, my strength is getting weaker by the day. I don’t have it in me to be a bastard, even if I wanted to," he admits, looking at me in perhaps the sincerest way he ever has since he's been here. I just snort and smack him straight in the face with the hammer, hearing him roar in pain as his jaw breaks.

"Sorry, but I don't believe you," I state, watching him as he shuts his eyes tightly, the noises he makes fading out into more of an annoyed growl in the back of his throat. He then looks back at me, but when he does, there's no hatred in his eyes.

"It's true. I hate you when you hurt me, that much is true and perfectly understandable, but otherwise, I respect your tenacity and somehow, you've begun to grow on me a little, despite all that. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that either. I think I've grown on you as well, not that you want to admit it," he puts to me, after about ten minutes of silence while his jaw heals up again.

"You're deluded and blood weak," I reply, beating him right across one of the well-defined hips that I once complimented.

"I was fed half an hour before you arrived. Yes, I am blood weak, but much less so right now.”

"So, say I believed you, what'd be the point in that?" I ask, hardly believing I've got myself so tied up with him thus far, with a detainee. I should know better.

"Nothing, I just want you to know. Now, be true with me and tell me what I can feel. I have an effect on you just as much as you do on me." Rolling my eyes, my response is to simply whack him with the hammer again. It’s about to become a very long night.

Angel's POV

"I don't see why I should dignify you with an answer to that," Edie murmurs, after I've asked her to just come out and admit it. I'm too fucking tired for mind games, and I don't have the inkling to play them any longer. I mean it with tremendous honesty when I say I respect her, because I do. 'Exceptional humans are worthy of our attentions and interest more so than the rest' I remember Ursula once telling me. Edie is pretty exceptional, I must admit. Even though I freely admit that I tend to favour feisty women, everything about Edie is nothing I've ever been interested in before in a woman. I've never been invested in human women as a vampire beyond just sex either, and even though I'm still not one hundred percent swayed, there's something there about Edie that goes beyond that. It's like it calls to me.

I think the reason I can't be fully swayed is because I can't make her submit to me, and I hate that about as much as I like it. She isn't a pushover, which is something that appeals greatly to vampires as much as it annoys us. We're hardened and strong because we're dead, and if we associate with humans at all, then they're not weak. We cannot stand the weak. Except for a good fear feeding, that’s kinda fun. I can feel a tiny shard of weakness within her, but I don’t find off putting, merely curious as to know why it’s there. I've been concentrating hard on her emotions of late, and I realise that it's the anger and hatred she holds within that encapsulates that weak spot.

"Because you’re hiding from it, and you shouldn’t. I know you like to cut yourself off from things you don't want to discuss. I did the same when I was a human, I blocked things out that I really should have dealt with. I can tell you're doing the same now, and you do the same every day over the woman with the red hair. In concentrating like I have been, I've seen her face again. She was really angry at you, wasn't she?” I receive a painful blow to the opposite hip for my words.

“It’s moot; there's nothing to deal with," she mutters in reply absently, trying her best to ignore me. The anger though, it's bubbling up in a way it never has before.

"Yes, there is. I think you'll feel better for admitting it, as well as the fact I interest you, that I have an effect on you. Just say it, Edie," I prompt, knowing I'm wearing her down. I just want to hear her say it. I know I said I'm through with mind games, but this isn't one. This is me being eaten alive by my own curiosity over what makes her how she is.

"Okay, you interest me. Not sexually, even though yeah, you are attractive. I wouldn't go there, though. Are you happy now?" she exclaims, practically biting each word as it leaves her mouth.

"No. Tell me about the woman with the red hair. Why does she make you so pissed off?" I ask, for what feels like the hundredth time. I'll ask her another hundred times, too, until I know the answer. I want to know what fuels such rage, and after she asks me again why it's so important, and I give her the same answer, it feels like we're going around in circles. I wouldn't usually entertain this, but curiosity has got the better of me. She still doesn't answer me when I ask again, and after I've recovered from a silver sprayed throat, I decide a wild guess is in order, to see how she reacts.

"Is she your mom?" Immediately, her eyes meet mine only to look away quickly. She gave herself away there completely, even if I hadn't heard her heart suddenly jump in her chest and felt a slight panicked wave go through her, I'd still know the red-haired woman is her mother.

"Was," she whispers, moving around behind me before spraying the entire surface of my back with the liquid silver. Imagine someone just set fire to your skin. That's what it feels like.

"She's dead?" I ask, spitting a mouthful of blood out onto the floor. My back hurts so much, I just bit both fangs into my lip to prevent myself from screaming.

"Yep.” This is all she answers me with, before coming round and giving the front half of me the same treatment as my back, rendering me unable to talk any longer, I'm in such agony. I feel relieved when I hear the voice of the woman called Aileen crackling from the walkie-talkie on Edie's belt.

“Buba, we've had time called up here, leave him be for an hour before continuing. Stay down there though, to watch how he heals.”

"Copy that, Aileen." Edie replies a little redundantly into the device, before affixing it to her belt as she walks back to her table. She sits on it in her usual cross-legged fashion, taking a cigarette from the pocket of the little grey denim waistcoat she has on and lighting up.

So, I now know who the woman with the red hair is, but what I don't know why she makes Edie so angry. I know the anger and the weak spot over her she holds within are not sadness over her death, I feel no mourning within her. What I do feel, though, concentrating hard on her emotions rather than healing, is her desperation to keep something hidden. Whatever that something is, it festers away inside of her without ever letting up. In fact, I'd go so far as to say whatever it is, it poisons her.

"What did she do that made you hate her so much before she died?" I question, in more of a croaky rasp than anything. My throat hasn't fully healed yet, of course.

"You say you respect me, and yet you're still picking away at something you know I obviously don't want to talk about. That isn't respectful, is it? That's trying to keep yourself amused at something that's very painful for me to deal with," she puts to me, exhaling smoke through her nose as she looks down at the floor and away from my gaze. She's beginning to cave, I can feel it.

"What did she do to you, Edie? What did she do to cause you the kind of pain you’re hiding from everyone, a painful secret you've never told anyone, and something you use to fuel your anger toward every single detainee who walks through the door of this chamber? It festers away within you, and it makes you unhappy. It'd be better if you got it off your chest, you know," I tell her, watching her frowning at me.

"It's none of your damn business! Keep your nose out of my fucking life, Angel!" she fumes in reply, her voice actually quivering a little.

"It is if I can help you, and I think I can. Just tell me, you know you'll feel better for it. If you don't, then I'll just get it out of you by some other means.”

I’m eyed with incredulity for that. "You're unbelievable, I mean seriously, you're absolutely unbelievable. Fucking relentless.”

"You really want to trust me, don't you? You can, you know. I don't fuck with or fuck over people I respect. You've never let yourself fully trust because of her, haven't you? Whatever she did, it's stuck in your head that trusting people only ends up in you getting hurt. Just because she fucked you over, and I guess that she did, well it doesn't mean everyone else is going to. That's no way to live, Edie.” I can feel it, that wall she has inside starting to fall down slowly, brick by brick. I then tune my senses in on her blood, and concentrate hard. Her facade is slipping, the big mental block she's put up as I said is crumbling, and without her wanting me to, I see the flashes of anger within her, and I witness it. I really see. Using every last bit of my strength, I focus, and see the memories Edie doesn't want me to.

I see a vision of a staircase, like I'm seeing the memory through Edie's eyes as she's dragged up it by her wrist, crying and screaming before she’s hurled to the floor and kicked over and over in her stomach by her mother at the top, before being thrown into a closet and locked there. I then see her mother sitting swigging from a bottle of something alcoholic, that bottle then leaving her hand and shattering above Edie's head while she screams 'get the fuck out of here, you little shit, before I beat your ass black and blue again!'

I see nothing more after that, opening my eyes again to look at Edie and see her concentrating hard, trying to make her mind go blank. This may surprise you, but I actually feel sympathy towards her. No child deserves to be beaten and locked up by the one person who is supposed to love and protect them always. I had a fucking wonderful mother, who was gentle and kind with my brother and I, who loved and nurtured us. I have another now in Ursula, too, who loves me just as much as my birth mom did.

"She was more interested in the drink than you, wasn't she? Don't be sad over her, Edie. Don't let an alcoholic, abusive joke of a mother who's now dead cause you pain. It was her problem she was an alcoholic, not yours," I tell her, watching her looking at me curiously as her emotions within continue to churn. This is why she's so strong, because she's had to be in order to get over what her mother inflicted upon her. She's no little weakling of a human who let this get the better of her, but yet still I know that I haven’t uncovered the full story. There's something else there.

"I'm not sad over that. She did what she did because she was just that, an abusive, alcoholic joke. I came to terms with that a long time ago," she states, her forehead creasing with a frown.

"There's something about what happened to you that you haven't come to terms with though, that thing that's festering away inside of you, that you need to tell someone, but don't want to. Why don't you want to? Are you afraid people will think you're weak? Are you afraid of burdening them? What?" I press, determined to get an answer.

"Again, if you truly respected me, you'd leave this alone. This, this is a big wound to me, one I let heal over a long time ago. I don't pick the scab, but you're doing just that. Please, just leave it. If you really do respect me, you will," she implores, while I feel waves of sadness washing through her.

"It healed without you getting the poison out, though. And now that poison runs through you, whatever it is extra to what I now know over what your piece of shit mother did to you, whatever extra sadness she made you feel.” She hears me, but doesn't reply, and I find myself speaking to nothing but stony silence after a while, but on I continue with my interrogation. Well, I do until Edie pulls her walkie-talkie from her belt.

"Aileen, I need someone to cover watching the vampire. I don't feel well, I have to step out for a little bit," she says into the device.

"I'll send Max down, hon. He's here with me right now having a coffee." I hear the control room manager reply.

"Are you okay?" I ask, once she's reattached the walkie-talkie to her belt.

"Thanks to you, no I'm not. There you go, there's me admitting some weakness to you. Just what you were fucking after," she spits at me with a frown.

"That's not what I was after at all, don't think that. All I want to know is what it is inside of you that makes you so strong, and what you try so hard to hide." I reply. She just shakes her head before walking to the door. I hear her leave, the one named Max asking if she’s alright before she moves away and he comes in, walking over to the table, staring at me intently when he arrives to lean against it. While he does that and Edie goes up to the roof (I can feel that's where she's heading) I switch myself off and rest. I'll need it, because I have another four hours tonight in her company and in that time, I’m determined to find out her secret.

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