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#just don't ask which of my responsibilities i'm ignoring by typing all this out
neverevan · 2 days
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why do you ride so hard for these problematic men? first ryan and his racist anti vax ass and now lou with his ableist trump supporting? you know you can like the characters they play without riding for these grown men right? lou wasn’t hacked. why would he delete that specific instagram post if he was? why would he like his most recent like if he was hacked? why wouldn’t he say he was? you guys just like making up excuses (even ones that make no sense) to give your favs a pass and it’s weird. just admit they are human and fallible and maybe not the best people and that’s okay. you don’t need to stan these men to enjoy their characters.
okay. i'm gonna try to be patient and assume that you're here in good faith, even though I know for a fact, that you're not.
I will also ignore the Ryan thing because what do you mean "first"? I haven't even been in the fandom when that whole thing went down, but I believe in calling out bad behaviour to help people learn to do better, otherwise what's the fucking point? moving on.
so first of all, do not tell me what I should say but especially do not tell me what I should say, when I already said it word for word here:
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second of all, I do not ride hard for Lou, in fact I do not ride hard for any of them. what I care about is actors (and the crew and the showrunners cough cough) not being harassed and treated like crap for doing their jobs, which, let's be real fucking honest here, the fandom has a history with, especially when it comes to love interests — as Oliver himself has pointed it out.
do I know what happened? no. do I think there are a lot of suspicious beats around the incident? yes, very much so.
btw no one would even assume hacking, if certain people could just act right. just a few weeks ago, no one could've plausibly make the claim, now however... this is what bullying and harassing and making fake accounts and so on births, this is all on the fandom. if not for that shitty behaviour, this would be much more clean-cut.
if it was him; he deleted it immediately which tells me that he's at least aware of how it reflects on him, if not how and why posting something like that is not okay. we can't be responsible for other people's values, but can only hope for them to always try to do better. and that's just step one.
the thing is, if we as a fandom can collectively ignore other things that have been deleted by other cast members, then instead of making a spectacle out of this, we can all just hope that it's a beginning of a learning curve.
anyway. do not come into my inbox — on anonymous, no less — to try to police what I say on my own blog. I always choose my words very carefully and I never claimed to know exactly what happened and as a rule of thumb, I don't allow myself more than a certain amount of time a day to dwell on these type on things (that time for today is up with this ask, by the way), because I'm in the fandom for fun and when it's no longer fun, I just leave.
but it's my blog and I will post what I think and if you don't like that; no one is forcing you to see it. unfollow and block and have a nice day.
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lady-raziel · 2 months
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and alright, here's my last (let's hope) and boldest take yet. lots of people have been talking about the level of staff (around 25-ish people) at watcher, and whether downsizing that number could have been a potential avenue of reducing costs before just jumping to a subscription model. at first i was like yeah, i'm not sure that there needs to be 18 people involved in making a lets play. i was in the fucking trenches in the unus annus days and i'm still amazed how markiplier and ethan nestor managed to put out pretty well edited videos every day for a whole year with only a handful of editors and a couple people filming. what unus annus was trying to do and what watcher is trying to do are obviously pretty different, but the point is that you really don't need a whole crew of people to make lots of different types of content and do it well.
i still think there probably doesn't need to be a whole production crew involved with the creation of some of the simpler types of content watcher puts out. however, i don't think the size of the staff is the real problem. in fact, i think the staff of watcher probably should have been larger.
let me explain. if i begrudgingly go to one of my most detested websites (linkedin. *bleeegh*) and look up watcher, i can see that pretty much every person on staff is in a creative role of some sort by their own admission. at first glance, its like, oh, that makes sense. they're making creative products, it's natural that they should all be in creative roles. however, once you think about it for a little longer from a business perspective, that fact is really concerning.
after all, by watcher's own definition, this is a production studio. this is a company. So in this sea of creative roles, who's doing corporate planning? Who's managing finance? Who's doing payroll? Or brand outreach? Or human-freaking-resources??? you can hire outside groups for all this. i'm aware. but those services cost a lot of money to contract too. i'm just finding it concerning that there is pretty much no one on full time staff that is there to at least do some of this stuff. if watcher wants to be a big-boy company, that's fine, but that means you have to pay some people to be part of your company to do the not-fun business stuff like accounting. or resource management.
if they want to be a real company, they should actually have a lot more people on staff to deal with all the non-creative parts of running a company. even if they contract out most of it, you want at least a few people that are your people and don't actually work for someone else. that's how you don't get screwed over or end up in a contract you can't get out of.
which leads me to my last train of thought. like, as i go through the staff of watcher and look at what they do, it really seems like one of the ONLY people who's job it was to look at the business side of things WAS steven lim in his role as CEO. and thinking about that, i'm like god, can you imagine?? here's a guy who just wants to create cool stuff too but as one of the few people who has to think about the realities of Brand and the Business, HE has to be the one to burst the bubble. He as CEO has to say no to people and make decisions to make sure the company survives. In a group of creative people who just want to make things they're interested in, no expense spared, he was probably the guy who had to stay at least a little tethered to reality.
I'm not about to say that steven lim isn't to blame here. everyone involved in making the decisions that have led up to this point is part of this. but shit, it absolutely sucks to have to be the person at the end of the brainstorm session when everyone is coming up with their best ideas and to have to say "guys, i don't think any of these things are possible unless we make some big decisions."
is that what happened at watcher HQ? i don't know. at this point, with radio silence from everyone, speculation is all we've got. but if you follow the thread of a bunch of creatives striking out on their own to make their own business after being burned by their former employer, despite not knowing really how to run a business, and then only hiring fellow creative people and not other people who actually run business things... well, all of this starts to make slightly more sense in WHY none of watcher's actions make sense. everybody wants to stick it to the man and be their own boss with their own business, until it actually comes to the hard parts of doing that. at that point people start to realize, "oh, maybe some of the things that existed at my old job were there for a reason, actually."
all this is why lots of creatives striking out and starting their own businesses don't work in the end. they're thinking about in terms of creative products still, when they really need to be focusing more on the "business" part of the "creative business." it's sad. it sucks. it destroys a lot of good ideas and good people, because one person in every company like that has to be the one who thinks practically. could this have been avoided if watcher had been hiring people all along to manage this business and not just adding people to add to the creative output? maybe. even then it might not have been enough to curb other predictable impulses that led us down this path.
i feel bad for watcher, and i feel bad for the fandom. but i can't help but wonder if this was always the kind of situation we were going to end up in, and we just missed some of the warning signs because ALL of us were thinking, "well, that could never happen to us. we're different. not the Ghoul Boys."
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rxmqnova · 4 months
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Hay:)
Can you write something like Natasha and Reader in high school. Nat having her reputation of course and her friends, which is really important to her while reader is more of the outcast and "an easy target" for Nats friends. Nat does laugh along of course for the sake of her reputation. But the second they're alone Nat gets all submissive almost begging for her girlfriends/readers attention and touch. It's just how they work.
Are you done yet?
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NO ONE'S POV Opening her locker to take her books for the next lesson, Y/N doesn't notice the group making her way over to her.
"Well, well, well. Look who's that" Tony's annoying voice rings through the girl's ears, making her roll her eyes and just ignore them.
And it works for a few seconds until her locker gets shut right in front of her face by the youngest and newest memeber of that group, Peter.
Y/N glares at the younger boy, turning around to walk away but locking her eyes with none other than Natasha, her girlfriend.
It's been over a year since the two started dating, yet they still haven't told anyone. While Natasha's the 'popular' one, Y/N is the 'outcast' and those two groups just don't mix, that's the rule.
But it still happened when the two were assigned for a project together last year. They spent a lot of time working on it together and Natasha realized that Y/N is actually a really sweet girl.
Though Natasha still wants to keep her 'reputation', so they haven't told anyone and the group keeps making Y/N's life a living hell. And even though Y/N sees Natasha's point, it just annoys her. Luckily, it's only for the next few months and then they'll be both out of that school.
A pair of strong arms stops the girl from walking away. Turning around she finds another group member… Steve.
"Alright, let's get this over with" She sighs out. "What is it today? Is there anything wrong with my hair? My clothes? My make-up?" She raises an eyebrow, having enough of this. Every single day it's the same and Y/N is so done with it.
"Everything! You look like a clown!" Peter blurts out, desperately trying to fit in.
"Nice. Thanks. Is that all? Can I go?" Y/N questions annoyed.
"No" Tony says, making the girl let out another sigh. Suddenly he just takes Y/N's books, throwing them on the ground on which the entire group laughs, including Natasha who doesn't think that's funny but just laughs along anyway.
"Idiots" Y/N sighs, kneeling down to pick up her books once the group is gone.
———
"Hey" Natasha smiles softly at her girlfriend who only just opened the door for her, standing at the porch of Y/N's house. "Are you okay after this morning?"
"Why wouldn't I be? Your friends are just a bunch of idiots. Come in" Y/N brushes it off, stepping aside, so Natasha could come in.
"I'm sorry they're acting like that to you" Natasha sighs, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and pulling her in for a warm hug.
"It's fine, Nat. Really. I'm used to it. I would have been much happier if you said something, but I know how much you care about your reputation. I'm currently finishing writing my essay, I'll just finish it real quick and get right back to you" Y/N smiles, leading the redhead upstairs to her bedroom.
"How about a movie?" Natasha suggests. She absolutely loves cuddling with her girlfriend, so watching a movie is definitely a great opportunity to get some cuddles.
"Sounds good. You can choose one while I finish the essay" Y/N smiles, pecking Natasha's lips with a kiss before walking over to her desk and sitting down while Natasha takes a seat on bed.
It takes only a few minutes until Natasha has the movie chosen and even switched on the TV. Now she's just sitting on her girlfriend's bed, watching as Y/N's typing some words to her computer.
"Are you nearly done?" Natasha asks impatiently, making her girlfriend chuckle.
"Nearly, just need to write the ending" Y/N shoots her girlfriend a quick smile before turning around and getting back to writing.
Natasha only hums in response, deciding to check up what's new on Instagram while waiting. And once again it doesn't last long.
She sighs, standing up and walking over to her girlfriend, wrapping arms around her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Are you done yet?"
"Gosh, you're like a child" Y/N lets out a chuckle, pressing a kiss to Natasha's hand. "You asked me like 3 minutes ago"
Making Natasha sigh, Y/N gets back to writing once again, though the way Natasha's impatiently waiting and scanning the screen of her laptop is kinda distracting.
"Natty, can you just wait on the bed for me? You're distracting me a bit. I need to concentrate" Y/N says as nicely as possible, receiving a whine from her girlfriend.
"Can't you just finish it later? I want to cuddle with you" Natasha says with a sigh, pulling her girlfriend up.
"It's due tomorrow, Nat. I really need to finish it. I promise it won't take more than 10 minutes" Y/N sighs, gently pushing Natasha to sit on her bed before going back to her previous seat.
"You're so mean" Natasha sighs once again, a pout on her face on which Y/N can't help but laugh a little.
Natasha's growing impatience just doesn't allow her to wait. She asks the same question 'Are you done yet?' nearly every 2 minutes until Y/N finally finishes.
"Finally, can I get my cuddles now?" Natasha questions, her eyebrow raising which makes Y/N chuckle.
"Now you can get as many cuddles as you want"
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Natasha Romanoff masterlist
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mobblespsycho100 · 1 month
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which one’s toshiro and whys he autistic?
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[ID: full body colored illustration of toshiro from the dungeon meshi manga. /End ID]
THIS FREAKIN GUY!!!! anyway
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[ID: anonymous tumblr ask: "would def love to hear ur autistic shuro thoughts". /End ID]
awesome. rant under the cut because it will be long
So before we understand why Toshiro is the way he is we must first understand two things abt him:
1. his household situation is a very traditional clan of warriors type situation. his father is very strict and he left his homeland to go to the Island and explore the dungeon to train and become a warrior to be someone suited as the family head
2. Eastern and Western cultures of respect/propriety are different, and Ryoko Kui highlights it well even in her fantasy world.
With that in mind, heres some bullet point rapid fire thoughts that consume my current state of dunmeshi brain:
Toshiro has an avoidant personality. He fears upsetting others due to his upbringing, and rarely tells others how he feels not because he thinks they would simply understand him but because he doesn't want to seem rude and imposing / cause offense to others especially since he's not in his own homeland / hes a foreigner that should respect the land's customs, not his own wishes.
Setting boundaries is hard for everyone, but especially autistic (and some other ND, like those with Avoidant Personality Disorder) people. Those with ASD, at least in my experience, don't want to be isolated from others. So they mask.
They mask what? their desires. their true selves. their opinions. their discomfort. all for the sake of pleasing others (who are often neurotypical)
With that in mind, suddenly, what Maizuru said abt him as a child makes sense. Due to his strict upbringing, Toshiro had to more or less hide his preferences and force himself to adapt to the rigid constraints of his culture and the pressure to be the next family head, this responsibility is his burden to bear and he cannot be someone who expresses his selfish desires instead of focusing on being a strong warrior and leader
"Why did he say he hate Laios and that it should've been obvious that he disliked/found Laios' treatment of him uncomfortable??" BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS. I'm not going to write off Laios' autism/autistic coding, but its baffling (note: definitely racism and bias for white autistic ppl) to me that a lot of ppl don't see Toshiro's perspective and straight up ignores it. This is a lack of wanting to be rude by speaking up that is based on culture difference on Toshiro's part, and straight up ignorant of his microagressions/racism and lack of self awareness on Laios' end. They were both right, they were both wrong too. This is a complicated conflict that cannot be boiled down to simple ableist/the NT vs ND divide. There's something called . intersectionality. Which brings me to the next point
Toshiro never actually hated Laios. He found him uncomfortable, yes. But he didn't /hate/ him, he was speaking out because he's had enough!!! he's done tolerating Laios' racist bullshit, and he's done following the arbitrary Eastern rules of respecting others and not being rude!!! He. Wants. Laios. To Understand. What. He. Was. Feeling. Because he just had enough!!!!! alright!!! he's at his limit hes at his breaking point, the one he loves is now probably beyond saving, and this is a good time as any to break the news to Laios that he thinks that Laios is impulsive and doesn't fully understand how his actions have consequences!!! Hes right abt this. His feelings on this is valid, just as valid as Laios'
General autistic traits I find from Toshiro: his admiration of Falin's indifference towards insects ("woah shes so brave and gentle!! just like me, fr!!!"), His lack of regard for his own needs and wants (needing to sleep and eat and drink) because he was super focused on saving Falin, His lack of like drastic expression changes, his discomfort with physical touch when it's initiated without consent (see: Laios hugging ppl extra bonus art by Ryoko Kui), his manner of like speaking short and concise, people pleasing tendencies, his like quick way of combat, rule upholder/routine following enjoyer, he seems distant from others even those he consider family not cuz of like any terrible reason but hes just. someone who enjoys his own time alone like. yeah
aannnnndd. thats abt it? i think.
Big part of this is definitely me relating to Shiro as an Asian (specifically chinese indonesian) person who is probably Autistic lmao. I hope this brings more insight on why Toshiro is actually one of the silliest and epiccest dunmeshi characters ever I love him
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lesbianloml · 7 months
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my babysitter au
the first kiss
types of piece(s): imagine, oneshot, drabble, series
type(s) of writing: smut, angst, fluff, dark (the story will contain all of the above)
pairing(s): milf!dom!dark!wanda maximoff x innocent!sub!immune!witch!fem!reader
warning(s): legal age gap (wanda is 33, reader is 21), obsessive wanda, sorta pervy wanda, maybe?, nothing mostly fluff and plot shit
summary: wanda met you for the first time three days ago. when she runs into you again at the bake sale at the elementary school, she is thrilled. but wanda is overjoyed when the two of you make a deal that will let her see you everyday.
a/n: I know I've been gone FOREVER but I'm back with part 2 of this series. I hope you guys like it, and if you have any ideas or requests, let me know!
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you groan as you lean over and press snooze on your alarm. 5am is way too early to wake up, but you need to finish baking and packaging all the treats for the bake sale this afternoon. you sigh, before climbing out of bed and beginning your morning routine. you shower, put on a cute brown mini dress before heading to the café. you sigh as you look around the empty shop, before pulling on an apron and starting your work.
*hours later*
you startle awake at the sound of your phone ringing. you gasp as you check the time. its 3:30pm, the bake sale starts in 30 minutes, and you haven't even begun to load everything up and set up your table. you check the caller id. dottie. you sigh heavily before answering the call. "hello?" you ask, your voice sugary sweet. "y/n y/l/n! where in the world are you? you were supposed to be here an hour ago to help set up! you're 21 years old, you should be more responsible than this!" as dottie rambles on and on, you sigh. "dottie? give me 5 minutes, I'm on my way." you hang up, ignoring her protests as you quickly load your car with the wrapped treats from the bakery, all made by you.
you speed down the road, and quickly turn into the almost full school parking lot. you scramble out of your car and as you close your door, you turn to be face to face with wanda. "wanda! you scared me!" wanda smiles at your expression. "sorry, detka. you're here for the bake sale right?" wanda asks, looking at you with a look you're unable to read. "yup thats what im here for." wanda turns quickly as two boys come speeding around the parking lot. "billy, tommy! come here. I have someone i want you to meet." you gasp as the boys come speeding past you, a silver blue blur before coming to a halt in front of you.
"y/n, this is billy and tommy. billy and tommy, this is y/n." you smile, looking at them both kindly. "which one of you is super speedy?" you ask. "I am!" tommy pronounces proudly. "would you two like to help me set up my booth?" "we would love to, y/n!" billy says. strangely formal for a 10 year old, but you don't question it. for the next 15 minutes, you spend with the boys, laughing and giggling at tommy's antics as they help you set up your booth. it gets done much quicker with the maximoff's help then it's would've if you had done it alone.
you smile at the sight of your booth, ready just in time as all the parents and children begin filing in. "as a thank you for your help, you three get first pick of the treats." you say, gesturing to the variety of sweet treats you have set out on your table. tommy immediately goes for a huge triple chocolate cookie. you laugh, sharing a shy glance with wanda. billy walks slowly over to the table, and carefully surveys his options before choosing a cupcake with sprinkles. wanda walks over to the table after the boys scatter to go say hi to their friends. wanda grabs a cinnamon pastry and pops it in her mouth. her eyes brighten as she chews slowly. "did you make all of this on your own, y/n?" you smile sheepishly. "yes, i did. do you like it?" you ask, subtly asking for her approval. as wanda finishes chewing, she lets out a soft moan of satisfaction. a faint blush coats your cheeks at the noise, your eyes drifting to places they shouldn't.
"y/n? did you hear me?" wanda asks sweetly. people are beginning to drift over to your booth, the wonderful delectable smells drawing them. "sorry wanda. what was that?" you turn your attention to her for a moment before beginning to serve the customers in front of you. "i would just like to speak to you after the bake sale, ok darling?" dottie approaches the table, eyes on wanda to drag her off somewhere. "of course wanda! ill meet you in a little while" you say, flashing her a sweet smile. you continue serving the lengthy growing line in front of you, your attention drifting back to where it needs to be.
wanda's jaw drops as she sees you in your car speeding around the corner. wanda walks swiftly over to your car, standing behind your car door. "wanda! you scared me!" wanda smiles at your face expression. just you saying her name in your pretty little voice, it slipping out your plump lips. it makes her want to bend you over right here and make you scream it. "sorry, detka. you're here for the bake sale aren't you?" she mentally curses herself. what a stupid question, of course that's what you're here for. she feels like an idiot, but you don't even seem to notice. "yup, that's what i'm here for!" wanda hears tommy and billy giggling, and she wants you to meet her sons more than anything in that moment. if her plan works, soon you and her sons were going to be well acquainted.
"billy, tommy! come here, i have someone i want you to meet." wanda smiles when you gasp as the boys come speeding past you in a silver blue blur. "y/n, this is billy and tommy. billy and tommy, this is y/n." wanda watches as you smile widely, then give them a teasing look. "which one of you is super speedy?" you ask. "i am!" tommy pronounces proudly. "would you two like to help me set up my booth?" "we would love to, y/n!" billy says. wanda chuckles softly at billy. so formal, so sweet. for the next 15 minutes, wanda and her boys spend time with you, laughing and giggling together at tommy's antics as they help you set up your booth. wanda is thrilled at how well you, billy, and tommy are getting along. you guys almost seem best friends already.
wanda watches you smile at the booth setup, happy that you like it. "as a thank you for your help, you three get first pick of the treats." wanda's smile widens as tommy immediately goes for the huge triple chocolate cookie. he's so predictable. you laugh, and wanda shares a glance with you. you're so shy, so beautiful it makes her want to scream. billy walks slowly over to the table, and carefully surveys his options before choosing a cupcake with sprinkles. utterly predictable. wanda walks over to the table after the boys scatter to go say hi to their friends. wanda grabs a cinnamon pastry and pops it in her mouth. her eyes brighten as she chews slowly. it is incredible. she's almost shocked. "did you make all of this on your own, y/n?" wanda asks, her voice filled with wonder. you smile sheepishly. "yes, i did. do you like it?" you ask, subtly asking for her approval.
how cute. wanda knew you would be the perfect wife for her. as wanda finishes chewing, she lets out a soft moan of satisfaction. she knows what she's doing as a faint blush coats your cheeks at the noise. she watches your eyes drift to the places she wants them to be glued to the most. "can i talk to you after the bake sale?" wanda asks, but notices your attention trailing. "y/n? did you hear me?" wanda asks sweetly. people are beginning to drift over to your booth, the wonderful delectable smells drawing them. "sorry wanda. what was that?" your attention is on her for a moment before you begin to serve the customers in front of you. you're so sweet. wanda thinks so many dirty thoughts about you, that she wants to say to you now. she restrains herself, not wanting to scare you away. "i would just like to speak to you after the bake sale, ok darling?" wanda almost lets out a groan of dread when dottie approaches the table, her predatory gaze fixed. "of course wanda! ill meet you in a little while!" as dottie drags wanda away, wanda's gaze is fixed on you the entire time, hearts in her eyes.
after the bake sale, you and wanda meet up in the parking lot. the boys are konked out in the back of wanda's suv, their sugar high short lived. "what did you want to talk about wanda?" you ask, shivering as the fall chill falls over you. wanda immediately removes her jacket, offering it to you. "here detka. wouldn't want you to be chilly." wanda waits for you to slip it on before speaking again. "i wanted to offer you a job. i've found a job downtown, and I was just wondering if you'd like to start babysitting billy and tommy during the week or whenever I need it. my job requires a lot of travel. and of course, I would pay you double what you make right now at the café.." wanda rambles, but her breath catches as you lay a sweet hand on her arm. "oh wanda, I would love to! I already feel so close with billy and tommy, like I've known them for years. maybe we could meet up sometime over coffee and talk some more? i'm sure you're eager to head home." you say, nodding to the boys sleeping in the back of wanda's car.
wanda nods. "of course. that would be perfect, sweetheart. here, ill put my number in your phone. ill text you, okay?" you smile, handing wanda your phone. wanda enters her number, and hands your phone back to you. you stand there for a moment, your thoughts conflicting. you make up your mind, and quickly lay a light kiss on wanda's cheek before walking to your car. you will never know how that single kiss rocked wanda's world, and how it would soon lead to yours being turned upside down.
remember, asks and requests are open! i love to hear from you guys! <3
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maxvkisser · 1 month
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Hi! I was thinking of a F1 request (male reader preferably) where 2 drivers (or more) like the reader and are kinda fighting for attention, flirting and generally being sweet (like bringing reader his favorite drink etc) but reader is too oblivious to realize it happening. Eventually readers best friend (I was thinking Yuki or Danny) tells him but he stays in denial, despite liking the idea. Eventually one of the others confesses and pushes the other/s to do it as well and reader gets stressed about disappointing them, but they agree they can all date him (alternate ending: he picks one and the others deal with it lmao) and it’s just a happy and fluffy ending. I was thinking maybe Max and Charles, or maybe Lando and Oscar but honestly it kinda works with any combination. Like I said it can be 2 or more drivers, and I understand if you aren’t comfortable writing because everyone isn’t always cool with this type of stuff so ofc I’ll respect it if that’s the case. Have a good day!
BOTH? BOTH! ᴸᴺ⁴ ⁺ ᴼᴾ⁸¹
summery - you are the McLaren media manager and take care of the McLaren tiktok and instagram (filming,posting etc) , so you find yourself working quite a lot with Lando and Oscar, your bff is Yuki :)
reader - male
warnings - use of y/n?
a/n- ty for the req! I decided to actually try to write a poly relationship this time so sorry if it's bad, also I chose Lando and Oscar because I wrote so many max things soz
requests are open! reblogs are very appreciated :)
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You are McLaren's social media manager, you film all their tiktoks,instagram posts and whatnot, so you're quite close to both drivers Lando and Oscar, some (your best friend Yuki) would say too close, but you never understand what he's talking about. Right now you're hanging out with Yuki in his place, you're sitting across him on the couch, he groaned and rolled his eyes at you as you put another +2 card on the table, drawing 4 cards from the deck "hey Y/N, how's the job at McLaren going?" he suddenly asked with underlying intentions you couldn't tell "it's fine,why you ask?" you answered Yuki with a raised eyebrow "oh no reasonn... you seem to get along well with the Lando and Oscar" he said while putting another card "isn't that a good thing,it's kind of my job, i don't want them to hate me" you said also placing a card down, you answer earned a shrug from Yuki "they seem to really like you" he said, you shook your head "impossible, but I'm not opposed to that" you answered while chuckling, after that Yuki dropped the subject and continued losing to you in UNO. A few minutes later Yuki decided to bring up the subject once again "So let's say you could date one of them,which one?" he asked, you rubbed your chin while thinking "hmm..can I say both?" you said, raising an eyebrow, you response earned a chuckle from Yuki "you can, but I don't think they'll like that" he said, and with that the conversation ended
You were sitting with the two drivers, scrolling on your phone trying to think about some ideas for the next tiktok video, you felt thirsty "I'm gonna go grab a glass of water" you said and stood up from the couch so it wouldn't seem like you're just walking away out of nowhere, you felt a hand force you to sit down,actually two hands, Lando's and Oscar's, you looked at them confused "I'll get you a glass of water" Lando said with a heroic voice before getting up, Oscar slightly elbowed the brit but Lando ignored that and walked to the kitchen area to get you a glass of water and returning shortly after and looking smugly at Oscar who rolled his eyes at Lando, making you think about what you and Yuki talked about earlier. Small things like that kept happening for the next few weeks, you saying you'll get something,ask for something etc, and the two boys jumping at the opportunity to provide it to you.
One day after doing some shootings for an Instagram post you were standing by yourself in a room, it was empty besides yourself, suddenly you were cornered by Lando, a determined look on the brits face "Hello, Y/N" he said, trying to make his voice deeper, you made a face and raised an eyebrow "Hello, Lando.." you said and put your phone in your pocket "I've got something to tell you!" he semi-yelled, you could tell he was kind of nervous "shoot" you said and waited for an answer from Lando "actually, Oscar also has something to tell you" he said and left, adding to your confusion as you stood there, moments later Lando came back,dragging poor Oscar with him "you go first, I'll tell him after you do" Oscar said and Lando nodded "but you are telling him, deal?" Lando said and Oscar nodded "tell me what? what's going on with you two" you asked in a confused tone "well...I think I like you,no, I know I like you, in a romantic way" Lando said first, without letting you even think, let alone open your mouth, Oscar started to speak too "Yeah, Me too, we both like you" the aussie said, leaving you shocked as you looked at them with your eyes widened "uhm...what..? you finally asked after a few seconds, you didn't know what to say, you thought about your conversation with Yuki, and how he said that the two would not want to date you at the same time, you felt a bit stressed, you didn't want to accept one and reject the other especially since you liked both of them, you train of thoughts was cut but Oscar starting to talk again "It's okay if you don't like us back, or only like one of us, but just tell us the truth,please" he said and Lando nodded,waiting for you answer "Well" you began "I like both of you, if that's fine, I just don't really know if you two would like to be in a relationship together, the three of us" you finished talking "we are more than okay with that!" Lando said enthusiastically, grabbing your shoulders and hugging you tightly, urging Oscar to join the hug. The three of you ended all cuddled up in one of their driver rooms.
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sturniolosass · 2 months
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I..want you - C.S
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In which Chris tries to handle a relationship that he’s no where near ready for, and you can’t have your emotions be toyed with…
warnings: swearing, feeling neglected, uncertainty, hurt feelings, talking stage chris.
ANGST, FAT ANGST!
Chris and I have been in this "talking" stage for around 3 months but the thing is stuff has been getting really serious and its gotten to the point where we've become so attached to one another that we see each other each day and sleep in each others beds, at one point we both spoke on marriage.. not like seriously about it but what we’d like to gain from it..if you get what i mean.
But this pass week somethings been off, I've texted, I've called, I've messaged him through DMs for christ's sake.. No reply..
So today I've been contemplating heading over to the boy's place and seeing what's been going on.. maybe he's sick, maybe he's down in a rut about something... I'm not sure but I need to see what's going on maybe I'll stop by and even find out they're out of internet or something.. I couldn't imagine the reason Chris would ghost me for 3 whole days.. He doesn't even seem like the type of guy to go talking to a bunch of girls, I couldn't imagine him being unfaithful to me, even though we're barely a couple to begin with.. regardless heading over there wouldn't hurt that bad... at least I hope not..
Getting dressed I head out the door sending chris one last message before I head out to his home.
Hey, I'm headed over, i know I wasn't invited so if you don't want me over or something just let me know...
I wait 10 minutes, No response
I grab my keys and head out the door.
Arriving I hop out the car to knock on the door, I'm greeted with Matt. "Yo! what's up, Chris should still be sleep but he's in the basement if you wanna wake em" he greets. "hey, yeah I've been looking for him" I speak. He let's me in walking up the steps to the living room.. I immediately head to the back of the house towards Chris' room, walking down the steps and then the hallway leading up to his door. I hesitate, thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong when I turn this door knob.. twisting the door knob I'm met with a pitch black room.. a sleeping Chris laying flat on his stomach with one knee bent up north.
I just sit at the edge of the bed contemplating whether or not I should wake him and risk being greeted with his morning anguish.. Being the pussy I am, I just kick off my shoes and lay with him, picking his arm up off the bed and snuggling under it cozily.. He moves mumbling under his breathe inaudible words... I soon fall asleep right next to him..
Chris' POV
I wake up unexpectedly cuddled into y/n confused as to how she amazingly got into my room yet alone my house... Things like this genuinely annoy me, I've started to distance myself for some time now because of how serious we were getting, it began to really freak me out.. from the goodmorning messages to the worrying about my sleep schedule... things started feeling all too real. Don't get me wrong I really, really like y/n but us doing all these lovey-dovey things really scares me... aggravated I head upstairs to find out who the fuck just let her come down here while I was sleeping... Once I'm up the stairs I see Nick and Matt sitting at the dining room table, Nick editing, Matt eating cereal. "ouuu Mr. lover boy is up, how was you cuddle session?" Matt jokes.."Matt shut the fuck up, who the fuck- who just let y/n in my room and when did that happen? I didn't even go to bed until like 4 am so I know it was one of you fucking early birds" I ask angrily grabbing a Brisk can from the fridge.. "wasn't me." Nick blurts.. "who cares, its not like she was gonna murder you.. she said she was looking for you.." Matt explains.. "bro I was ignoring her for a reason.." I shout.. "well she's here now, what were you gonna ghost her something? did she do something?" He asks.. "yeah she's getting all weird and clingy and shit.." .... "like asking 'how my day was' and' if I slept well' and shit" I add... Matt looks at me weirdly "you mean caring about your well being? you're such an idiot" He gets up from the table heading to his room.. "GRAB YOUR FUCKING BOWL IM NOT YOUR MAID" Nick nearly busts my ear drums yelling at Matt.. "dude are you crazy?" I ask heading to the steps that lead to my bedroom.. "shut up bitch" Nick rolls his eyes...
Your POV
I wake up in Chris' bed alone.. not worried where he went I just wait for him to come back down the steps which is where I assume he went, starting to scroll on TikTok I hear Nick scream at the top of his lungs about 'being a maid' which I laugh at..
I then hear Chris heading back down the stairs, I hurriedly sit up fix my hair worried of what he'll have to say to me, then I start to think of what I should say to him.. I don't even know how I feel.. I wanna talk about us moving forward in our relationship but I also need to figure out why he's been acting all distant lately, I hope he doesn't think I haven't noticed.. because to be honest it feels like he has literally blocked me out of his life for the past 3-4 days..
He enters the room I stare down at my feet He walks straight pass me.. I look up. He heads straight into his bathroom... I flop back down on his bed..
Getting up from the bed I decide to make it, fluffing the duvet, tucking the sheets , fluffing the pillows.. Chris has been in the bathroom for around an hour now, I hear music, assuming he's in the shower, I clean a little more. Throwing away Pepsi cans and food casing from last night, I assume.. grabbing dirty clothes off the floor throwing them in his hamper... Suddenly I hear the water and music stop.. shuffling in the bathroom continues until Chris comes out in fresh love sweats and a black tank top, dropping his dirty clothes on the bed near his bed and heading over to his computer, I grab them and throw then in the hamper to which I assume irritates Chris.. "Can you stop!" Chris shouts... "wha-" I start to speak soon being cut off, "like you're being weird leave my clothes where I left then I didn't ask you to clean for me!" He adds.. "I mean what else am I supposed to do? You've been ignoring my presence sense I got here!" I shout back... "go home! I don't fucking know!" He replies.. "what the fuck is even your problem? like what have I even done for you to react this way to me cleaning for you?" I ask genuinely confused... He doesn't respond.. "hellooo" I speak in a questioning manner... “maybe i just don’t like you anymore and don’t need you to be here, i’m starting to even question why i did in the first place like you’re being so fucking annoying and clingy” he huffs… “all you do is bug me now gosh!” he adds…. I look to the ground genuinely hurt… it honestly makes sense, every guy i like always ends up ghosting me and it makes sense why at this point.. i can’t help that i am too “caring”.. apparently that freaks out a lot of guys..
“what so this is how you treat every girl you like? or liked?” i ask.
"I was ready to drop everything and be your girlfriend, in fact my plan today was to come ask you to be with me..I was ready for everyone to know how we've been these pass few months and not give a fuck what any hater or 'fan has to say.." I say holding back emotions.. "I never said I was ready for that, I never spoke on being together like that" He speaks.. "So what? we were just gonna be 'talking' for however long?" I ask. No response.. He just continues to stare at his computer screen. I just look back and sit down on his bed. blinking back tears.. He stares at the computer screen, nothing on it, not scrolling, no video, no music, nothing... Just staring, deep in thought...
We sit in silence for around 10 minutes before I speak again
"Chris?, can you say something? because I've done nothing but try to keep things working between us.. You've ignored me for almost 3 days when before you'd message me everyday 'How are you' , 'come over' , 'when are you free' , 'lets see a movie' , 'lets hang out before I leave for Boston.' " I count off examples.. "I just don’t get how we can go from something so good.. or what I thought was good, to you completely ignoring my existence." I add.. He continues to stare at the blank screen, until.. "I don't know okay, I just feel weird when I'm around you? you're always so caring and shit like that freaks me the fuck out..." he breaks silence. "I never feel this deep of feelings for anything, its fucking annoying.." He adds... "Well, I care about you.. its true, I care about how you slept, I care if you have a nightmare, I care if you feel a cold coming on, I care if you're upset with how much I care... because I genuinely like you Chris, and I don't know maybe this is one of those " right person, wrong time" moments because I feel like we deserve each other..." I speak whole-heartedly.. He just stares at his hands... I stand up.. "maybe in another life then?" I ask headed for the door... He doesn't respond.
I grab the door knob opening it slowly hoping he'd say something to keep me from leaving...n
"wait" he speaks "I wanna try- I want you- I wanna be with you..." he adds looking up from the floor despair in his eyes. "Chris I just don't feel like you're ready for what I'm ready for.." I reply.. “i’m ready- i am” he pleads… “how when just a moment ago you were telling me you were unsure if you even liked me” i ask… He looks down at his hands, I grab my bag and keys walking out of the room..
I hear him get up rushing out the room, he slows down once he sees me standing at the steps. Walking up to me slowly he pulls me in for a kiss, which i kindly reject hoping he gets the hint.. “i like you a lot Y/N.. i just- i need time to understand my self more. i’ve been used and hurt so many times..” he tells.. I just look at his hands in mine.. letting go i turn to walk up the steps… “can i call you later?” he asks.. I turn back “i feel like time apart might actually be what we need at this time, my feelings are genuinely hurt by the things you’ve said to me today” i reply. “i didnt mean it- you know that…” he looks up at me… I walk up the steps walking past Nick and leaving the boys house “bye Y/N see you sometime again hopefully, i know my brothers an asshole” Nick yelps from the dinning table…
I smile walking out the door.. knowing that’s possibly the end of my friendship with the boys…
fin.
A/N: the long awaited.. sorry yall i got busy but here it is!!! Hope yall like Chris and his trust issues!
taglist- @junnniiieee07 @frankdelreyy @ireadstoriss @freshsturns @unbruisable
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soolh1k · 1 year
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Skz ghosting you ! (pt 2)
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notes: english is not my first language so apologies for any misspelling or grammar. i hope u like it !! :))) this is only the hyung line
type: text post | narrated text
genre: kinda angsty but w fluff
WARNINGS: swearing, a little bit angsty, let me know if you'd like me to tag u :)
Hyung Line pt1 | Maknae Line pt1
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ೋ Christopher Bang
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Your heart ached. You knew he hadn't intentionally ignored you, but he did anyway. You really didn't know what to do. Maybe it had been a little immature to leave home without saying anything, but what he did wasn't very mature either.
Your head was a mess. You simply wanted to disappear from the face of the earth. You felt so many things at that moment. It was clear that you still loved him and would continue to do so for a long time. But if he had already hurt you once, what assured you that he wouldn't do it again? You were simply afraid. Maybe not only Chris was the problem, but both of you.
You had to return to his arms. It was clear. Despite the fear you had, the love you had for him was greater.
The doorbell rang throughout the apartment, catching Chris' attention. He quickly went to the door, hoping it was you on the other side. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened the door. A few minutes passed in which only you and he looked into each other's eyes, as if you thought it was all a dream.
"Hello, Chris," you said to break that eye contact.
"Oh my god, you're here, love. I thought I had lost you completely," a sad tone escaped his voice. He gently took your wrist and ushered you into his apartment, so you could talk comfortably.
"I also thought I had lost you, Chris. I really did, and it hurt like you have no idea. Every day without you is hell," you started to tell him, pain evident in your voice. "But it also hurt that you ignored me. You know I understand how complicated your job is, especially being the leader. I admire you so much. However, your job has been driving us apart for months. I don't want you to stop doing what you love because I know it makes you happy, and that makes me happy too. Clearly, I'm not going to make you choose between me and your work. That would be stupid. Can you just promise me something, Chan?" you asked, on the verge of tears. He was lost in his thoughts, realizing the damage he had been causing for months. Was he really that oblivious?
"Chris?" you called out to him, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"Darling, I would do anything for you. I wouldn't even have to think twice if I were given a choice between you and my work. You've always been my priority, and forgive me for not showing it. You're my everything. I shouldn't have neglected you from the beginning. You're the person who has always been there for me, supporting me in every decision I make, giving me love at every moment. I don't want you to leave. I want you here with me. I promise I'll change," your loved one replied almost instantly, shedding tears in the process.
"Chris, listen to me first," was your response to his heartfelt speech.
"Baby, please. I don't want us to end," he whined.
"Chris, listen to me," you repeated.
"I don't want to. If you're going to break up with me, I don't want to hear it."
"Christopher, I love you with all my being. I'm not going to break up with you. I just want you to promise me that you won't ignore me like that again. If I'm your priority, then love me as if it's the last thing you could do. Please."
"I promise, but never leave," he whispered as he hugged you.
"I'll never leave, Darling," you whispered back.
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ೋ Lee Minho
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One missed call after another, Minho had been looking for you for days, but it seemed like you wouldn't be returning anytime soon, which was tearing Lino apart. It was never his intention to hurt you; you would always be the only person he loved, so he couldn't let you walk away from him. Why did he have to ruin things? Everything was going so well, so why did he leave you without any specific reason? He felt like the worst person in the world.
All he needed right now was to find you and resolve things between you. He crossed seas and lands to locate you, only to find out that you were staying with your best friend since she couldn't find you at your apartment. He knocked on your friend's apartment door and waited patiently for it to open.
Your friend opened the door, visibly tired of seeing you in distress and falling into a depressive state because of the issue. She hadn't even realized that you had been sending messages.
"Please, fix things with her. She's been going through a really tough time," your friend told Minho.
"Believe me, I want to fix things with her." She simply nodded and let him go, informing him of your whereabouts. He quickly made his way to you.
"Angel, thank God you're okay. I was so worried," he exclaimed as he recognized your voice.
"Minho, what are you doing here?" you asked, upset, not because he was present, but because you looked terrible.
"I need to make things right with you, bunny. I messed up big time, and I can't express how sorry I am. You're the best partner I've ever had, and I don't want things to end between us. I need you in my life; you're the only thing that brings me happiness. I understand if you can't forgive what I did, but please, give me another chance," he said with so much pain, almost on the verge of tears.
"Minho, to be honest, I'm hurt by what you did, and I don't understand why. I thought everything was fine between us." Now you were the one on the verge of tears.
"I'll be honest with you because I love you. I was afraid, afraid that you would be hurt because of my work. The other day, Felix showed me everything they were saying about the girlfriend of an idol, and at that moment, I started thinking about what would happen if they found out about us. Would they hurt you like that? I didn't want to allow that, so I started to withdraw into my thoughts. I wanted to protect you, and my first instinct was to stay away so that those hurtful comments would never reach you. But I can't, I love you so much that my heart won't let me stay away. I'm sorry; I just wanted to protect you, but I did it in the worst way." The love of your life couldn't stop crying, and with everything he told you, you realized that neither of you was the problem.
"Why are you like this? Why do I have to love you so much, Minho? Come here, from now on, things will be better. We just need to talk about it, okay? Nothing will separate us. I love you so much," you reassured him and planted a tender kiss on his cheek.
"I love you too. I'm sorry," he replied, hugging you tightly.
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ೋ Seo Changbin
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Changbin didn't even dare to go home after what he did. He had truly hurt you, and he didn't know how to fix it. How could he have been so stupid? Did he distance himself from you just because he loved you? Wasn't that ridiculous? What was he doing with his life? Why wasn't he going to look for you? Those were some of the questions swirling in his mind at night. Lately, insomnia had prevented him from sleeping. He had been having sleepless nights, and every day away from you made him feel dead.
Chris advised him to go look for you before it was too late, but he already felt like a coward and firmly refused. It wasn't until Chan opened his eyes completely that he gave him a hypothetical situation where you both broke up in the worst possible way, even inventing that you could hate him. That day ended with him crying oceans, but with a clear mind, he knew what he had to do. He couldn't fail you once again, so he made his excuses and ran to his apartment. He had to apologize properly, he had to show you how much he loved you, that he would never hurt you again, and he wanted you to know that.
You were finishing up dinner, hoping that today your boyfriend would show up. You missed him so much and didn't want things to end badly between you. You didn't want to break up with him or for him to break up with you. You loved him too much, although you were afraid. He said he was afraid to love you. Was it because of something you did? Were you just a game to him? Why did this have to be happening, and why to you? You thought he really liked you, but his actions showed otherwise. Maybe it was all a bet, and being so naive, you gave him everything. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even realize someone was knocking on the door.
"I'm coming!" you yelled as a warning, and you headed to the door and opened it. When you saw who was at the door, all you could do was sigh in disbelief.
"Sorry," was the first thing you heard from the person you had been waiting for so long. You couldn't even react when you felt him embrace you.
"I'm an idiot, forgive me. I don't know why I was scared," you began to hear small sobs, and that's when you realized Changbin was crying. So you let him in, offered him some water, and tried to calm him down.
"Tesoro, it's okay, don't worry, alright?" you reassured him, but he only became more agitated.
"Honey, it's not okay at all. It's not okay to ignore you or make you feel bad. I had no reason to be afraid of loving you. It's just the first time someone has made me feel this way, and it was pure panic because I didn't want to lose you, honey. I didn't want my insecurities to affect you, but I think that's all I did. God, I'm such a fool. Please forgive me." So it wasn't you, not a bet, none of that. It was just how you made him feel.
"Oh my god, I thought you didn't love me because you didn't like me. Tesoro, the next time you feel like that, just tell me. We can solve things in a better way. Don't doubt how much I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I love you, and I'm not afraid to say it. Please don't hate me. I want to be the man you spend the rest of your life with," he told you before giving you a small kiss.
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ೋ Hwang Hyunjin
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You knew how closed off he could be. At the beginning of your relationship, it was also very difficult to get him to communicate his feelings with you. It was as if someone had hurt him, and he continued to have the constant fear of talking to you and getting hurt. But it's clear that he knows you wouldn't do such a thing. It's clear that you are the love of his life. No one has ever evoked such feelings in him. Even in his worst moments, he was sure you wouldn't leave so easily. But he needed to meet you to solve his problems. He became so happy and relieved when you sent him an address, telling him to meet you there in 15 minutes.
"Did I make you wait for too long?" he heard behind him, startling him a little.
"No! Of course not. I would wait as long as needed for you, Belle," he said, getting up to greet you. He pulled out your chair, waited for you to sit, and then sat down himself.
"I missed you so much, Hyunnie," you said, looking outside, avoiding eye contact.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to me. My mind just wouldn't let me do anything. It was like I ceased to exist for a couple of days. I didn't talk to anyone, literally, not even the guys. I know I should have told you that I wasn't feeling well to avoid worrying you, but I truly couldn't. I didn't even want to look at my phone. Nothing was motivating me," he said, his head down, afraid to see your reaction.
"Handsome, don't worry about that. I just want to know why you're feeling like this," you understood that he hadn't been okay with himself lately, so he couldn't be okay with anyone else until he resolved his internal conflicts.
"Oh God, if I say it, I'm going to start crying, Belle."
"And I'll be here to comfort you, my love. Please, talk to me."
"Everything they say about me on social media, they hate me so much, and I can't stand it. Do you hate me?" you could hear the brokenness in his voice.
"Of course not. I could never hate you, Hyunjin. You're the most precious person in my life and probably in the lives of many others. Don't pay attention to them. Those people are just filled with envy. They're jealous because they can't be you. Literally, they're sitting at home, commenting stupid things, while you're touring the world. They're just bitter. So don't listen to them. Many of your fans are doing everything they can to make all of you happy. I love you, okay?" you assured him, taking his hand and kissing it.
"I'm truly sorry. I love you so much. Like I said, I'm yours, and I'll continue to be for the rest of my life. Please love me the same way. Stay with me. In the future, be my wife," Hyunjin declared, looking directly into your eyes.
"I love you like no one else in this world, Hyunjin. In the future, let's be happier than ever."
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Tags !!
@albaficaslover
@marcillfll
@str4wb3rryc0ww
@damselettism
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doberbutts · 5 months
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Feminist theory is not the same as feminist activism, which is what I specificied in my ask, intentionally. There is feminist theory about men's issues (yes Bell Hooks is by far the most famous theorist in this space), and that is good, but it is not the same as activism to improve men's conditions in the here and now. I wanted to give a different perspective, and have a discussion about something that I feel is a problem that has lead to and continues to lead to a lack of progress for men. I mean, the other ask you got saying thst feminism persistently centers men just by talking about our issues, that proves my point. That is an incredibly common view. Not even working towards solving men's problems, just talking about them occasionally is considered too much. There is an obvious solution to that, which I said previously. Regardless, I am and will continue to believe in the cause of fighting to improve things for both women and men, because we all deserve better. Anyway, I won't bother you anymore, but I hope you know this was written in good faith about something that is important to me.
Theory informs activism, so if you want to see feminist activism that does what I'm talking about, find the feminists talking about what I'm talking about.
Respectfully, despite referencing the other ask, you seem to have not read it if your stance is still "what has feminist activism done for men", because I gave pretty direct examples there.
But you're right. That sort of feminism is harder to find especially nowadays. A lot of people's feminism regards men as "ewwww boys are icky" and "men are 100% solely responsible for all of women's problems". Which was the entire point of my post that started this conversation. It's also compounded by the fact that a lot of times this doesn't look as big and loud as rallies and marches, and so it gets ignored. In reality, the feminist activism that follows the theory I'm describing looks like parents teaching their sons that gentleness and femininity is not bad. Dads who wear nail polish and tutus to support their sons' interests. Boys being encouraged to watch and read the "girl books" and "girl movies". Dads who do not abandon their sons' need for physical affection as they age out of fear of homosexuality.
It looks like restructuring the ways we look at sexual assault and rape so it doesn't automatically exclude the most common way men are attacked. It looks like teaching young men that they do not need to take abuse from a romantic partner or family member on the chin just to be a man. It looks like teaching men that "masculinity" does not need to be defined by stoicism and that the concept of "manning up" is harmful. It looks like teaching boys that there are ways to communicate affection that aren't violent or sexual in nature. It looks like teaching teenagers that playful ribbing is one thing, but tearing your friends down all the time so you can be the biggest man on the block is toxic behavior, and only leads to more isolation because all your friends learn to be mean to each other.
It teaches young men that pleasuring your partner involves more than just a penis, and sometimes doesn't even require a penis at all. It teaches them that their worth is far less in the length of their shaft or the hardness of their muscles or the number on the scale, but far more how they treat others. It teaches them that height and beard length and shoe size and how much alcohol they can consume or their favorite sport team aren't indicators of "manhood", because they are men regardless of the answers to any of those things. It teaches them they can be any type of man they want to be, they don't have to be what the patriarchy tells them are their only options.
And I know this, because I have watched plenty of my butch friends who are devout feminists and have been their entire lives teaching these things to their sons. This is established feminist theory that has existed for a long time. Many followers of this theory do in fact practice what they preach.
Genuinely, I don't really care what you call it. If you want to call it "man's liberation", go for it, I don't care. But to me, this is just feminism. I'm not going to call it men's lib because the feminism I was taught by the women in my life covered these things. Same as how I don't use the word "transandrophobia" because the trans theory I was taught by the trans women in my life told me "transmisogyny" covered these things.
Anyway. I urge you to go read some black feminist theory and then spend some time talking to practitioners of said theory. It might just surprise you how similar the conversation is. It might surprise you to see how their kids and families interact. I'm not saying all black people, because not every black person who is a feminist is specifically a *black feminist*, but when you find someone who fits this description you will know.
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soundspeachytome · 5 months
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baby fever - shohei ohtani au
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summary: (i don't think this needs a summary, the title says it all lol)
word count: 10,584K
tags: fluff, mentions of sex, impregnation
other notes: midnight word vomit things~ i honestly didn't think i would be able to write something so soon after the one i posted on NYE but i'm blaming that video of shohei playing with some kids on my timeline. my thoughts have secured me a seat in hell.
enjoy and cry in delusion with me.
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Shohei couldn’t help himself but beam all the way home. He had spent his entire day surrounded by a group of kids no older than twelve years old, the youngest around five, to help facilitate the annual children sports camp at the elementary school he worked at. Being the only teacher who had played baseball during his primary and secondary years in school, he was elected by default to coach a few hours’ session of baseball basics to which he did not object. Aside from that, he also helped facilitate another few hours in assisting the lead teachers during the games like scavenger hunt, capture the flag, and water balloon dodgeball. The last one being his favorite, he was just supposed to be watching and making sure none of the kids get hurt, or if ever they do, he’d play medic when the need arises. Thankfully, his first aid skills were put to the backseat and he was joined in on the fun when one of the twelve-year old campers aimed a water gun at him. He had no choice but to retaliate. With his wide hands and arm support, he grabbed a bunch of water balloons and aimed at anyone within proximity, creating an entirely new chaos between the kids and the other teachers, too.
He had ended the day soaked and sore from all the laughing and running around trying to avoid the kids aiming at him. Thankfully, you had made sure to pack him extra clothes to change into. “Just in case you get a little too fun and get soaked in sweat,” you had said, ignoring Shohei’s initial comments on not needing extra clothes since he was not technically sleeping over for the night. But proven to be always right, he made a mental note to get you something special as a way to thank you for being, well, the best.  
After he had changed into his comfy cotton pants and white shirt, he bid goodbye to everyone at camp, especially the kids he had made friends with. They hugged him and some even gave him DIY goodbye presents (one gave him a bracelet made out of plucked flowers and laced it around his wrist), a tall kid with glasses who must be around seven years old gave him his precious Snickers bar, almost melted, and the youngest girl of the bunch clung onto his leg and tried to stop him from leaving. These short but meaningful interactions touched Shohei that he almost felt bad for leaving. 
“Will you teach us again next summer camp, Teacher?” one kid had asked.
“Hmm. Maybe, we’ll see,” Shohei beamed, eyeing the other teachers in response. If not for the lead teachers and school principal, he would not have been able to cross the schoolgate and reach his car. He waved one last goodbye to the kids who stood behind the gates and then drove away. 
He couldn’t wait to go home to you and tell you about his day. 
You were in the kitchen when you heard Shohei’s Corolla park in the garage. You continued tending to the Tsuyu broth and soba noodles that you were saving up for a warm day like this. 
While Shohei was out for camp duties the entire day, you were able to finish the flower embroidery design you had been challenged with for over a week now. Being new to the craft, you had a slightly difficult time understanding the patterns in the first place, but once you got the hang of it, you were on a roll and without realizing it, you were already done. You regretted buying only one design thinking it would take you longer to complete it, and also considering that you were the type to abandon something when you feel overwhelmed or had just simply lost the fixation, just like the few hundred other abandoned projects you started this year. This time, however, you were so accomplished that you couldn’t wait for Shohei to come home and brag. 
Upon his arrival, Shohei sees you busy in the kitchen, humming to Adele. He put his bag on the countertop and went straight to you, your back facing him. He embraced you from behind, leaning his chin on your shoulder and slightly shifted his weight against your body. 
“Hey.” 
“Hi.” You angled your face upwards to meet him and he planted a kiss straight to your lips. When you went back to what you were doing, he left kisses on the small spots on your neck and shoulder. 
“Hmm, I love soba. I was craving for this.” He murmured against your skin. He still had his arms wrapped around, waiting for you to finish and give him your full attention.
“Really? Didn’t I tell you that I’m a mind-reader?” you joked and turned the stove off and faced Shohei. 
“Yes and you are the best.” He did not waste another second and kissed you tastefully on the mouth. As soon as he got your attention, he made sure your tongue was preoccupied with his. 
You stayed like that for a few seconds. A slow summer day deserves an equally slow and hot makeout session like this. Shohei put both his hands behind your back and you had no choice but to push your body closer to him while you coiled your hands behind the nape of his neck, tugging a few strands of his thick hair.
“What’s gotten you so worked up today, love?” you asked when you separated. 
He pulled back, catching his breath and looked seriously at you. 
“Let’s start doing it, love.”
“Do what?”
“Kids. Babies. I want to put a baby on you right now.” He massaged your lower back and showered your neck with more kisses.
“So sudden?” You looked at Shohei with bewilderment. You weren’t angry or anything, just a little surprised that he had suddenly brought it up. You had always known to use oral and physical contraception ever since you started dating and like an unspoken promise, you made sure that your relationship would not bear anything both of you didn’t feel like committing to yet. But this was definitely something new. 
“I was just thinking… At camp, the kids loved playing with me… some even clung to me–like this–” he hugged you tightly in demonstration. “--and I almost choked up when I was driving away.”
“And…?”
“I played with kids the whole day, I realized that I really, really want to have kids.” He pouted.
In a way, Shohei had always been great with kids. You saw how he used to fawn over your neighbors’ kids and their tiny steps, how he’d wave to babies in strollers whenever you’d pass by them, smiling extra wide. 
“Like, I really, really, really do. We’ve been married for three years now. Don’t you think it’s time for us to get pregnant?”
You were silent the whole time, looking straight into Shohei’s face, and trying to see any hint of him joshing around but he was nothing but serious with his dead set eyes and determination.
“What are you thinking, love?” He asked, getting fidgety after seeing you were quiet for a while. 
“Are we even ready for kids? There are a lot of newer parents that get divorced after babies are born…” you trailed off. Shohei noticed your worry and decided to change the topic.
“I’m sorry, I won’t force it if you’re not comfortable.” he kissed your nose and pulled you into a tight hug. “The noodles look amazing! So much about my day, they can wait… What did you do all day without me?”
Dinner ensued and the pregnancy topic was never brought up again, much to your relief. Shohei was quite understanding and never the pushy type. He always made sure that when you both decide on anything, you were both in it, just like when he moved in with you after a year of dating, when you decided to get married a few months after, and then buying a house.
You felt no pressure whatsoever about creating a family with Shohei because he never pressured you or his family. You don’t know if you wanted kids at all. When you were single, you thought there was not a single good man left on earth but meeting Shohei had changed your mind. Maybe, with the right kind of man, it’d be possible to love and still be loved properly while having kids. So yes, maybe. Maybe one day, you’d want Shohei’s children but were waiting for the right time. You hoped maybe someday, bearing kids will not just be a reluctant maybe, but a definite, sure and unwavering yes. 
Not until Shohei’s sister came to town to visit a few days later and brought their two year old daughter in tow. Shohei was ecstatic. He had fallen in love with his niece the moment he met her. He’d carry her as much as he could when they visited, buying her presents for every occasion, sometimes even when there’s really nothing to celebrate at all.
This time, when Shohei had picked up his niece, Nora, from her trolley and into his arms, kissing her lightly on the cheek, cooing and swinging her back and forth along with their boisterous laughter ringing around the house, you felt something shifted. 
You felt the anxiety on your shoulders lift and leave your body, leaving you with an immense sensation of love and happiness. You sat at the dinner table watching Shohei play peekaboo with Nora while she sits on his lap, and couldn’t help but imagine Shohei carrying a baby–your offspring–while feeding her, or humming it to sleep. It sounds like a beautiful dream, doesn’t it? 
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
After they had left and the house was silent again, you cornered Shohei in the kitchen, who was loading the dishes in the dishwasher. He was humming a Cocomelon nursery rhyme which you assumed was the same song he had played on his ipad with Nora. 
“Shohei.” You tugged his arm and looked at him straight in the eyes.
“Yes, love?” 
“Let’s do it.” 
“Do what now?” He said mindlessly, pulling his sleeves down and shrugged off the kitchen apron.
“Fuck a baby into me, I said.” You raised your voice, unsure where to look.
It took him a few seconds to understand but when it finally dawned on him, he wasted no time and carried you into his arms bridal style. 
When he pushed you onto the bed, kissing you hungrily, both of you still half-undressed, he suddenly pulled back and asked, “Wait, is this your new kink now? Seeing me with kids?”
“What, no.” Your hands busied on the buckle of Shohei’s belt and when that ordeal was done, had pulled his boxers down to touch him. Like a knee jerk reaction, his hips jerked forward to your hand. 
Definitely.
“Hmm, this is going to be a long night,” he whispered, biting at the garter of your underwear and pulling it down with his teeth. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
Absolutely.
“I’ve never been so sure.” 
You pushed yourself up on your elbows and met Shohei’s lips, while he slowly entered you, both of you adjusting to the size and feeling. He started thrusting in and out of you hungrily, as if on a mission, determined to fill you to the brim. And you, on the brink of pleasure and chasing your high, you couldn’t help but moan Shohei’s name and said, yes, yes, yes, over and over. Like an assurance statement, like a promise.
This is my yes, unquestionably, a hundred times over.
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ginevrapng · 7 months
Note
Thank you for writing for plus size readers! I'd love to see something with an older Sirius(Harry's still a teen) and a chubby muggle reader! Could be she's a teacher leading a group of kids on a field trip he happens to see or is a mama to a little who is fascinated with Sirius asking him question after question. Please and thank you for any response! <3
i'm glad you like my writing! let's see what i can come up with&lt;3
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taking care of thirty kids for the day on a school trip is quite a a challenge. thirty kids in a classroom? your everyday job. thirty kids on a school trip? well you wish that that schools had better funding so you could have more than two teachers on the trip. all the children are holding hands in pairs and being each others 'buddy' for the trip, making sure everyone is paired up. one second you're addressing all the children to get back on the bus to go home and the next you're turning around as one of the children pulls on your sleeve and tells you that their friend has run off, sending you in complete worry. "do you know they went off to?" they point and you spot your missing student talking to some random man.
"you go," you colleague says before taking over your previous role and continues getting everyone back on the bus.
you rush over as quickly as you can and pull back your student, the man who is in front of you just cocks his eyebrow and continues answering the question that he was just asked, which absolutely infuriated you. "do you live near here then?" your curious student asks this unknown man.
he chuckles, "no, but i think it's cool. stonehenge is very mysterious."
you can tell your student is about to ask another question and you hope to god that he hasn't said something private about his life or the school to this stranger. the stranger looks back up at you after having been making eye contact with your pupil and says in an almost flirtatious tone, "i'm sirius, and this mischievous little guy has been rather curious about random trivia about stonehenge. i don't think the guidebook he has is very useful."
sirius holds up a guidebook and almost sways it in the air. you go to grab it from him, this man, albeit an attractive man, has just taken the guidebooks you brought for everybody. sirius smirks at your reaction. "why did you take his book?" you student asked you and then you notice that he's still holding his one and you've just taken sirius' from his hand. sirius holds his hand out with a smirk waiting for you to pass it back to him. you don't quell your frustration but give sirius back his guidebook.
"do you have a girlfriend mr?"
your eyes widen at the question. sirius laughs and says to you, "oh yeah, he's also been pretty curious about me too."
you ignore sirius, "you can't ask question like that, it's very rude. you know not to talk to strangers as well. we need to get back to the others."
sirius wants you to stay, he hasn't even heard your name. he purposely stayed with your student so he was safe and was answering all his questions until someone came to find him and when the person comes to collect him he didn't expect someone as beautiful as you. all the professors who taught him at hogwarts were older so when informed by the kid that he was on a school trip he assumed to be greeted by an elderly teacher, not someone his own age, not someone as beautiful as you, just his type. he can't help but be drawn to you, your anger and frustration not concealed well at the situation, kind and a gentle tone when talking to your student, soft and plush body, pretty face, he hasn't been so drawn to someone for years.
"i don't have a girlfriend."
"what?" you furrow your eyebrows.
"i never even got your name." you scoff. your student decided to jump into the conversation at this time and answer him with your name. sirius contains his cackle and grins, "thank you young man. do you know if your pretty teacher is single too?" your student confirms and returns his grin.
completely perplexed with this entire situation you go to leave. it's been a tiring day and a weird interaction, although sirius seems okay and it seems that the only things they spoke about was sirius and the trip. "if you're single does that mean i can have your number?"
"what?"
"number?" sirius asks and hopes that every muggle has phones. he knows a lot of his friends do, even he does and he's a pureblood, but he doesn't know how popular they are with muggles and if everyone has them.
sirius is attractive and he is your type, but you're not going to give him your number. it would be inappropriate.
"just your number."
i'm not actually breaking any rules by giving him my number. you give in as you hurriedly writes your number down on his hand with your pen from your pocket. "just my number." you mumble. "no promises."
sirius winks at you, "i'll call you."
"yeah, alright," you say quietly. "come on, lets head back to the bus," you say louder, holding onto your students hand. sirius and your student says their goodbyes.
as you walk away you hear sirius call out, "one to two people are proposed to every month at stonehenge."
you give a small smile and you hope he calls you tonight.
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i hope you liked this &lt;3
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mncxbe · 6 months
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hiii! i hope ur requests are open and if theyre not im very sorry and ignore this!
ive been thinking too much about dazai with a younger reader whos 15 and reminds him a lot of himself. like he remembers what oda said and becomes determined to steer u down the right path
overall becomes a sweet (but very annoying sometimes) big brother figure <333
nonnie♡♡ this is hhh such a nice idea I went a bit silly with it hope u like it. he would definitely try to bring you on the right path. to make things even more interesting let's assume you're from the PM.
The two of you met when he was out on a mission with Atsushi. Naturally, he paid no attention to you, a little scrawny kid scrolling on her phone, walking in their direction. But that was until you suddenly attacked them.
You were so relentless in your fight that you ended up badly injured, so they had to take you back to the Ada office to get treated by Yosano. After all, a Port Mafia member or not, Dazai couldn't bring himself to let a kid die.
When you eventually woke up in the infirmery you saw him standing at the edge of your bed, arms crossed in front of his chest as he watched you intently.
"You feeling better kid?" he asked and you only nodded in response, eyes darting around the room, taking in your surroundings.
Dazai noticed the cunning look on your face, the way you scanned the room for possible escapes while still maintaining a nonchalant facade and couldn't help but chuckle.
"Now, now don't worry kid. We'll let you go as soon as you answer some questions"
Dazai asked you about your mission and your involement with your Port Mafia; routine questions mostly: how you ended up working for them, who you serve under, how long you've been with the PM- things to which you gave a half-hearted, disinterested response. But you refused to get into detail about the organization's plans; no matter how much he persuaded you and tried to get inside your head, you just wouldn't break.
With each calculated reply Dazai saw more of his younger self in you; the innate ability to lie like it was your second nature, the way you managed to turn any conversation in your favour and mostly, how impassive you were to any of his threaths.
"You know, if you refuse to cooperate I'm gonna have to get the information out of you in other ways"
You simply sighed, idly picking at your nails. "Well, pain would be bothersome, but I'd rather die than betray the Mafia"
Dazai saw an opening, a slight crack in your carefully built facade "So you're that afraid of what they might do to you if they find out you're a traitor?"
"Nah, but I prefer to stay true to the things I believe in. After all, does life have any value if you give up on your beliefs?"
There it was, the answer he was looking for. Sighing, he rose to his feet, staring down at you "That's quite grim for a kid your age to say."
"I don't think it's grim. More like honest, but who am I to discuss the value of life with you?" you said casually, pointing at his bandages.
"Oh wow touché" he chuckled "But what exactly are those values you're so keenly holding on to, some principles passed down to you by the boss? Can you really call those things values?"
"Sure I can. As long as they give me a purpose to live" For a brief moment you caught a shadow of doubt on the brunette's face. He was conflicted, you could tell.
"You know" he started again "I once thought the same as you do, that good and evil don't matter as long as you do a job and get it done well, but violence and death only give birth to more violence and death. It's a vicious cycle, really, so don't expect to find a purpose or a reason to live in that."
You lowered your gaze, continuing to pick at your nails and he knew the conversation was over. He wasn't gonna get anything out of you.
"Look, kid, you're wasting yourself in there. If you want a reason to live I can give it to you"
"And why would you do that? You don't seem the type to do charity work?"
"Let's just say that that's my purpose in life, to guide people like you on the right path"
"People like me? Meaning petty criminals working for the Mafia?" you inquired mockingly, raising a brow.
Dazai scoffed at your remark "We both know you're more than a petty criminal, but yes. People like you, who don't take life for granted and want to understand its meaning."
"So now you can psychoanalyse me too hm? Are you gonna tell me this mentality of mine comes from the fact that I grew up without a father figure or...?"
Your witty remarks were starting to get to him, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Nah, it comes from the fact that all you've seen in your life is evil and look where this has gotten you. Five years in the Mafia and you're still where you were at the beginning, still searching for a deeper meaning in life. We're more alike than you may think, kid. As I said, I used to be in the same position you're in"
You shrugged, feigning disinterest, but he could tell his words were affecting you.
"And your point is?"
Taking in a deep breath, Dazai combed a hand through his hair "My point is that you should leave the Mafia and join us. Change your perspective. If finding a purpose in life truly is your goal, then you won't regret this decision. Trust me"
You both stood in silence for a while as you considered his proposal. You could technically leave the Mafia, it's not like working there has gotten you anywhere. No matter how many missions you completed or how fast you climbed the ladder, there was still a nagging feeling that you could do more, that there was more to life than this.
You finally raised your gaze to meet his and gave a small nod. "I'll think about it."
"Good, you do that, kid"
Dazai helped you out of the bed and walked you to the front of the building. You left without even saying goodbye, making your way down the street; towards the Port Mafia headquarters. Dazai watched you slowly walk away, your figure growing smaller with each step you took and somewhere deep down he was sure he'd see you again.
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maybank-archives · 8 months
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jealous - jj maybank
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⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
warning: +18. NSFW CONTENT. MINORS DNI. public sex. fingering. vaginal sex. unprotected sex. language. dirty talking.
word count: 1.4k
author’s notes: that's a wrap, speaking of it, use protection kids :)
masterlist | join the taglist | kinktober masterlist!!!!
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Sure, this doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all, hooking up with your friend, what could possibly go wrong?
I sat there watching the third touron flirt with him as he poured their drinks. Sure, we are not a couple or anything, but we have been mackin' each other for a while now and who knew that I would suck in this whole no-strings-attached thing? All I know is I was dumb enough to go along with it. This is classic JJ.
I was able to ignore him for most of the night, until now. I saw him getting closer in my periphery but my proud self pretended to be busy talking to Sarah or even looking at the people.
“Can I offer you, ladies, fun?” JJ says handing Sarah a drink and holding out his hand. He waited for my response as Sarah grabbed hers.
“No, thank you,” I tell him without moving an inch.
“C’mon Y/N, I'm already here, just take it.” He insisted
“I’m good Maybank, I need to take care of something actually, I’ll be right back Sarah.” 
Lies, I just didn’t want to stay around him, I don’t even know why I’m this annoyed. For my luck there were a bunch of girls gathered at the bathroom door, Fuck that, I needed another way out. I walked out of the bar on the beach and made my way to the street.
“Hey, Y/N, wait up.” I hear JJ’s voice behind me. 
“Go away JJ” I shout.
“Woah, what are you doing?”. He asks, grabbing my hand.
“I'm going home. Why do you care?.” I said reaching for my keys in the back pocket of my jeans skirt.
“Your home is not this way, what’s wrong?.” he insisted. 
I didn’t answer. JJ snatches the keys out of my hand which made me sigh loud annoyed
“Can I have my keys back please?” 
“Not until you start talking,” he said, pulling me into the back of the bar. “What the hell happened for you to start acting like a brat?”
“I don't know, why don't you ask your new friends?.” I replied with a dry tone. “I didn't know they were your type by the way,” I added, reaching for my keys but JJ was faster and held them high.
His blue eyes narrow with a hint of intrigue on them. A smirk showed up in the corners of his mouth as he realized. “And I had no idea you were the jealous type.” He teases, making you scoff.
“I just don't like being another one in your books, but it's ok, we can end this and you're free to have all the fun in the world.” My cheeks heat up.
“I'm not mackin’ anybody but you Y/N.”
“That’s not what it looks like.” I accuse.
“I’m sorry, did I miss something?.” He said
Damn him, how does he do this? 
I want to kill myself. There’s no way I’ll say a word when he couldn’t be less bothered.
“Fine.” I swallow. “Can I go now?” I try to grab my keys but he keeps them out of my reach again.
“Nope, you’re still pissed,” he says flatly.
“I’m not.”
“Ha.Bullshit.What the fuck happened?” he snaps
“I’m not blind JJ, If you want to go, just go okay? I don't know what I'm still doing here.” I snap back “I’m… I’m done with this.” The words burst out before I could stop them. “Whatever this is. It's done okay?”
JJ’s eyebrows are furrowed. His expression is a mix of confusion and shock. “Why?”
“Because I said so.”
“No way,” he says again. “You can’t just call it off without giving me a good reason.”
“I don't like to see how you look to other girls.”
That sounds insane if I say it out loud. Who the fuck am I?
“Are you telling me you’re not into me anymore? Is that the deal?”
“No. But—”
“There are no ‘buts’, baby doll. It’s a simple yes or no answer,” he whispered, leaning in. My breath hitched. Fuck. His gaze held mine, leaving me unsure if it was anger or just desire.
“I-I don’t have a reason,” I confess trying to escape
“How about I help you clear your mind and decide? How does that sound?” He said putting my keys into his pocket.
Before I can realize it, I’m against the wall and his mouth is inches away from mine. Luckily, I guess, we’re almost hidden between a dumpster and a bunch of cardboard boxes. JJ’s scent made my brain foggier as he pressed his body onto mine.
“Why didn’t you tell me you needed my attention baby?.”
I clench my jaw.
“So you’re still into me?” He places his thighs between both of mine, grinding me against his erection.
I’m trying so hard to focus that it’s impossible for me to reply.
“Something tells me you still do.” His lips brush over my ear, making my nipples sensitive against the lace of my bra. 
I’m frozen in place, it’s ridiculous how wet I’m. Now I remembered why I was so attracted to JJ in the first place.
His blue eyes are deep and penetrating, locked onto mine. I watch him smirk and push the hem of my skirt up, cupping my core. I arched my back under his touch.
JJ doesn’t seem to care that we’re in public, he dips his finger under the crotch of my panties rubbing the wetness. “Yup, seems bout right.” He murmurs as his lips kiss my neck. He pushes one finger inside and my muscles tightenin around it. 
His lips found their way to mine. He’s hesitant for a second watching me lean closer.
“I knew you wouldn’t resist.” He mocks crashing our lips eagerly.
Oh God. This feels sinful. All I can concentrate on is the unbearable pleasure centered between my legs. JJ keeps fingering me as he devours my lips. He bites the bottom of my lip as he breaks the kiss.
“You’re so needy. It’s super hot.” 
“J...People can see us, please.” I whine
“Let’s give them a show then,” JJ adds another finger, curling them inside me, my vision gets dark as hits a spot deep down. I moan embarrassingly loud. I Rock against his hand, no longer protesting.
My vision comes back, focusing when JJ takes his fingers out of me. He unzips his shorts watching me. I should definitely protest to that, someone really might see us. But the only response I could give, was a nod with my head.
JJ flashed me a mischievous smile before sping me around in the wall.
His breath fans over my neck as he lifts my skirt more. I can tell how long I’ll last. JJ has the ability of knowing how my body works. That’s why I collapsed under his touch in seconds. The thrill of everything about this moment also wasn’t a big help. 
JJ gives a deep thrust as his hand is wrapped under my throat. I grip my hands onto JJ’s waist as he increases the pace. 
“I’m not gonna last long princess.” He murmurs as his hands are now on my waist lifting my ass. “You better cum faster.” I spread my legs wider as he says.
Crazy to think that a few minutes ago I was so against the idea of being fucked in public.
JJ flips me over again, this time facing me, he grabs one of my legs to his hips, I wrap around him deepening the contact, JJ gives me a wet kiss on my chest and a big suck on the skin of my neck. The orgasm races through me and leaves me breathless. I feel my legs shake. I held onto JJ’s shoulders as I whined. JJ gives a barely audible groan and buries his head between my neck and shoulder as he pumps into me.
He wasn’t kidding. He comes so fast that is hard to decide whether I should be impressed or tease him about it. He pushed his shaft into me one last time as his hand clamped my tight and hip.
Both of us breathless, we hear voices around us, I push JJ away and shove my dress down. JJ peeks and sees some figures pass us by a few steps away without realizing our presence.
JJ tucks his still-hard cock into his shorts looking to the sides.
“For a person that was talking about giving a show, you look very concerned,” I teased fixing my clothes.
“And for a person who was wet just from talking to me, you still act very bitchy. Didn’t I fucked you right?”
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guccifrog · 4 months
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THINK FAST P4
chris sturniolo × f!reader
summary: where a silly dare leads to a lot of unexpected events
again this isn't proof read :3
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part1 part2 part3
𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:
Awkward -Sza
0:09 ━●────────── 3:47
ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ
y/n's pov ☆
"stalker girl!" Dylan yelled as he entered the cafeteria, luckily it was still empty, only me Jane, and a couple of freshmen.
"you're not funny" I rolled my eyes at him as he and Amber sat down across from me and Jane. 
"How is your back?" Amber asked, glancing at me. "You're looking better today."
"yeah it's better now, thanks," I shrugged, before taking a sip of my soda. "So what's on the plan for today?" I asked, changing the subject.
"We're just gonna hang out," Dylan said, glancing at me. "Maybe go to the park later if it's not too cold." I nodded, not really wanting to spend the day with them.
"Hey guys!" 
We all look up in unison as Jake walks in, but he isn't alone.
"wait isn't that one of the Sturniolos ?" Amber asked uninterested, looking at Jake.
This can't be happening.
"Yeah, his name is...Nick, I guess" Dylan said, eyeing me, with worry.
"fuck, fuck, fuck" I whispered in panic, my heart racing. Why would Jake be friends with these types of people?
 Jake and Nick, walked over to our table, Jake sat down first as Nick just stood there awkwardly" What are you doing dude,? sit down" Jake chuckled, patting the seat next to him.
Nick finally sat down, giving me a nervous smile which I returned with a forced one. "I hope you guys don't mind me joining you," he said, looking at each of us in turn.
"of course not," I managed to choke out, forcing another smile. Jake shot me a look I couldn't quite decipher, but Nick didn't seem to notice.
"So, how are you guys today?" he asked, his voice surprisingly friendly. I glanced at Dylan and Amber, who were exchanging looks. They didn't seem to know how to respond to Nick's presence either.
"Like shit I have detention"Jake sighed, resting his head on the palm of his hand as he chewed on a sandwich, I sent him a dirty look, noting mentally to give him a piece of my mind later. "what about you guys- Oh! y/n how is you back?" He asked unbothered and clueless to the tension.
"I'm fine," I said, glancing at Nick, who was now zoned out.
We spent the rest of lunch break in awkward silence, with occasional attempts at small talk from Jake or Jane that were always met with stiff, half-hearted responses from the rest of us. It was clear that none of us really knew how to act around each other now. 
The bell finally rang, signaling the end of lunch, and we all quickly gathered our things and headed off to our separate classes. I walked down the hall with Amber, we both had the same class.
"So," she started, peeking sideways at me, "What the fuck was that?" she asked, obviously referring to the awkward lunch.
"I have no idea" I sighed "I didn't even know that Jake was friends with one of them" I glanced at her."I mean I don't mind him hanging out with us, but you know the chances of his brother confronting me are higher with him being around"
"Yeah," Amber nodded in agreement. " But you know you can't hide forever"
I rolled my eyes "I'm not hiding, I'm just avoiding him, that's not the same thing" Amber snorted "Okay, whatever you say" 
"Hey, girls!" A high-pitched voice unexpectedly called from behind us making us turn around to see none other than the cause of this whole mess. Cassie.
She jogged over to us, her long silky brown hair flowing behind her, and a perfect smile plastered on her face, she looked effortlessly beautiful. Jealousy clawed at my insides, an unwelcome guest that I tried to ignore but couldn't shake.
 Cassie put one of her arms over my shoulder and the other over Amber's. "So, how's it going?" she asked, glancing at both of us.
I forced a smile back. "Oh, you know, just trying to survive school." Cassie laughed, but there was something fake about it. I glanced at Amber, who seemed uncomfortable with the attention too.
"Anyways, do you guys know what next week is" Cassie asked, her voice dripping with fake sweetness, I glanced at Amber again in confusion. What the fuck is she trying to do?
"Oh my god, I can't believe you guys don't know" She fakes a frown" It's my birthday next week!"
"Oh wow, that's...cool?" Amber said, unsure how to respond."Well, happy early birthday, Cassie," I said trying to sound nice. "I hope you have a great week."
Cassie beamed at us. "Thanks, you guys are the best. I'm going to have the best week ever" she squealed, practically bouncing on her toes. "But the reason I stopped you guys is because...I wanted to invite you both to my party this weekend" she added.
Amber looked at me, her expression a mix of surprise and wariness. I shrugged slightly, not really sure what she wanted me to do.
"Well, I'll have to check with my parents first," Amber said, and I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, me too"
Cassie smiled brightly. "Oh, of course! Just ask Dylan for the address if you need it " She winked at us before, turning around and walking away.
We both exchanged glances as soon as she was out of earshot. "What do you think?" Amber asked, frowning slightly. "She's more annoying than I remember" I replied, shrugging. "I mean, it could be fun, right?"
"I guess so," Amber said, still not looking convinced. "But I don't want to hang out with her too much, you know? She's kind of..."
"Yeah, I get it" I cut her off. "But let's do it for shits and giggles, how about that ?" I grin at her."And we can ditch her ass after an hour or so, whatever"
Amber sighs, but she's smiling a little. "Sure, why not? It could be fun." She reaches over and gives my arm a playful punch. "But don't try to ditch me, alright? Dylan told me about how you always cancel plans last minute" I grin back, nodding. "No promises, but I'll try "
We walked into the classroom and took our seats. I glanced over at Nick, who was sitting a few rows in front of me. He waved at me, and I gave him a small smile in return. The rest of the period dragged on, and I found myself zoning out during the teacher's lecture.
Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of class. I gathered my things and headed out of the room, Amber trailing behind me. As we made our way through the hallway.
We met up with the rest of the group in the parking lot, they all decided to hang out at the park, but I told them I was too tired and just wanted to go home. They all understood and gave me a wave as they left.
Walking down the sidewalk, I felt a light breeze brush against my skin. It was a warm day, with scattered clouds in the sky. It's been a while since I last felt this relaxed. I knew a lot was going on right now. but being alone for once felt nice.
As I continued my walk, I realized that I got thirsty and decided to duck into a nearby convenience store.
 I walked to the fridge, scanning the selection of drinks. But sadly There was no coke, I sighed before reaching my hand to grab the only Pepsi can left on the shelf. 
As I grabbed it, I accidentally bumped into someone who was standing behind me. I groaned turning around ready to apologize, and my eyes were met with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I had ever seen.
 But I froze in place and nearly dropped the soda can when I realized who it was. The universe must really hate me. Chris Sturniolo was standing right in front of me, with his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows frowned together.
I swallowed hard, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment. "Um...I was just-"
"give me that." He demanded not taking his eyes off of mine. I was still frozen in place, my hand tightly gripping the can of Pepsi. His voice was low and threatening, and it sent a shiver down my spine.
"What?" I asked confused. 
"you have the last Pepsi. Give me it," He said extending his hand, I frowned. Who does he think he is?
I stepped back, my back hitting the cool metal of a display. "No it's mine, I got here first." I held the can closer to my chest as He cocked his head to the side, seeming amused by my defiance.
"I don't think you understand, stalker" he drawled, his voice still cold. "I really need that Pepsi. Now give it to me." His hand was still outstretched. 
"Excuse me? I'm not a stalker-"
"Just give me the Pepsi, goddammit!" he snapped, his voice loud enough to make the people around us turn their heads. I felt a surge of adrenaline course through my veins. Who was he to tell me what to do?
"No!" I snapped back, his eyes narrowed even further, and I could see the anger burning in them. But I wasn't about to let him win.
"umm... excuse me, you guys are scaring the other customers away..." a soft voice behind Chris piped up. I glanced over his shoulder to see the cashier" I'm sorry but I'll have to ask you to take this outside..." she continued.
Chris's eyes flickered toward her, and then back to me. He took a step closer, his voice dropping to a menacing whisper. "You're not hearing me, freak. Now, give me the Pepsi or-"
"Or what?" I challenged, clutching the can tighter, refusing to back down.
His eyes went wide with surprise for a moment but then I knew I fucked up when he smirked. "Oh, would you like to know" 
"Hey please get out or I'll have to call the security!" the cashier shouted, glancing nervously around the store.
I took a deep breath. I didn't want any trouble, but I wasn't going to back down either. I held the can of Pepsi closer to my chest.
"Can I at least buy this ?" I asked the cashier, glancing at Chris. I didn't really want it anymore, but I refused to lose.
The cashier hesitated, before answering nodding. I pulled out my wallet, fished out five crumpled dollar bills, and, and handed them to her. She glanced at Chris, who had gone back to watching me with those intense blue eyes.
She quickly rang up the sale and took my money, glancing nervously between the two of us as she did so. Once she'd finished, she put the can of Pepsi into a paper bag and slid it across the counter to me. I quickly grabbed it, thanked her, and headed for the door.
"You're so annoying" Chris muttered under his breath as I walked past him. I ignored him, hurrying out of the store and into the cool night air. The last thing I wanted was for him to think he'd gotten to me.
As I walked down the street, I could feel his eyes on my back. It was unnerving, and I was starting to get creeped out.
When I had enough, I turned around, making him stop in his tracks "Stop following me" I demanded, my voice steady despite the fear that was coursing through me. He tilts his head to the side, looking amused.
"I'm not following you, weirdo, this is my way home, don't you already know? since you're so used to stalking me" he sasses back. I can feel my anger rising, and my hands shaking. I want to hit him or punch him. God, this dude needs to be humbled.
"For fuck's sake! I'm not stalking you!" I snap, trying to keep my voice down so people won't start thinking I'm crazy.
He tips his head, looking at me like I've lost my mind. "If I remember correctly you're the one that broke into my house last Friday, oh- and also tried to steal my boxers, let's not forget about that, "he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
I feel the heat rising to my cheeks, but I try to keep my cool. "I told you that was just a stupid dare, okay?" I say, my voice lowering as I realize how lame it sounds even to me.
"Doesn't change the fact that you broke into somebody's house and tried to steal their stuff" he says, folding his arms across his chest.
I let out a frustrated sigh, feeling more and more embarrassed. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. But can we just forget about this? I'm not stalking you and I didn't even want to sneak into your house, because like I said it was a stupid dare"
Chris just stares at me for a moment, his expression unreadable. "And your point is?" he finally asks.
"Never mention what happened on Friday to anyone," I said smiling nervously. "I don't want any trouble, and neither do you. Just forget about it and we can both move on." I hoped that would be enough for him, but I wasn't sure.
"what would I get out of this? You think I'm gonna let you off the hook that easily?" Chris asked. His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer to me. "You broke into my house, dumbass. I don't care if it was a dare or not, that's not something you do to people. And now you want me to just forget about it?" He took another step closer, his breath hot against my face. "I don't think so."
I took a step back, feeling the blood rushing to my face. Why must he be like this? I sighed before raising my hand that was holding the soda can to his face "I'll give you the Pepsi If you agree," I said quickly, holding out the bag.
He looked at me for a moment, then snatched it out of my hand.
 "That doesn't make up for it" he scowled, shoving the small paper bag into his pocket.
 "But I guess it's something." He took a step back, eyeing me carefully. "But just so you know, I'm not forgetting this," he said, before turning away, sauntering down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. Didn't he say his house is the other way though? weird.
.・。゚☆゚.・。゚
taglist ☆
taglist ☆@mattestrella @chrisfavoritepepsi @sunsetsturniolos @littlebookworm803 @sturniozo @sturniolooooo @athaliahxoxo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ev3rgreenxtrees @nonamegirlxsturniolo @crybabycat1 @mooniethesimp31 @ducksturniolo @ifilwtmfc @pepsiimaxx @sleepysturnss @lustfulslxt @ilovemattsworld @hrt-attack @flowerxbunnie @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @secret-sturniolo @that-general-simp @swangelss @familynotfandom @fuckshitslover @styles-sturniolo @lvr-111 @opheliaofficial07 @kiarastromboli @hearts4chriss @braindead4l @sturniolosreads @mattsturnzzz09 @itssophiasstuff @mayhem-72 @b2cute @buckys-celestes @4iriss @graceciesiels22 @urmom2bitch @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @b2cute @1horrormoviewhore1
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hiiragi7 · 2 months
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hi there!! i've been reading some of the discussions you've had & many of them are super informative and some comforting to read from the perspective of someone who's questioning if they might be plural/have a CDD. i really appreciate ur blog & the views and experiences u share on it, it feels like a warm hug amidst The Horrors of Syscourse.
i've had something on my mind though. this is probably a silly question, but it's possible to have a CDD without (C)PTSD, right? admittedly i'm kind of just asking this for reassurance while i'm on my own discovery journey. like. i have experienced traumatic events and some of it is ongoing & i'm still living with the people responsible, but i don't think i fit the PTSD criteria due to not experiencing flashbacks or strong emotions related to the events—i usually just feel totally empty & detached from it. i still believe i've been negatively affected by the events hence considering them traumatic, but that doesn't include any kind of flashbacks.
i've been trying to look into it & find answers but i've seen a lot of conflating of having experienced trauma with having PTSD, so most of what i find is "can you be plural/have a CDD without trauma" discourse.
i think it'd be neat to see more conversations about this but free to ignore this ask if u don't want to answer it/if u don't feel equipped to! wishing u the best. have a great day!!
This is actually a very interesting question.
I've read a lot of medical literature on trauma, and each author in the field seems to define what qualifies as PTSD or PTSD symptoms differently, which also lines up with my own experiences with medical professionals in practice. In general, me simply being traumatized was enough for me to be given an automatic PTSD diagnosis, regardless of which therapist or psychiatrist I saw. Some professionals I saw were very specific with what they called what, others were a lot more loose with it.
I've seen a lot of differing definitions and academic debate over what qualifies as a flashback, dissociation, a posttraumatic symptom, and so on. That is to say, it can all be very vague.
For example, there are other forms of flashbacks that exist outside of the well-known ones; some people only relive traumatic events emotionally, or through repeated thought processes, or somatic pain. A lot aren't even aware these are flashbacks, because it's experienced as 'random' emotions or pain or spirals or some other response, and a lot have trouble figuring out what even triggers these responses.
Would these experiences fall under what we call flashbacks in PTSD? Well, it probably depends on who you ask. And, in practice, whether someone with these experiences gets diagnosed with PTSD or a mood disorder or a personality disorder or somatic pain syndrome depends on the medical professional evaluating them.
To further complicate it, a lot of people don't experience overt c/PTSD symptoms until they are no longer living in the traumatic situation, which, for people who develop cPTSD, means they may not show obvious symptoms until a very, very long time after the trauma started. I didn't start getting "classic" PTSD flashbacks and "waking up in a panic attack in the middle of the night" type nightmares about the trauma until I wasn't around the people who did it anymore. However, I have experienced many other trauma-related symptoms and heavy dissociation ever since I was very very little. Before I was diagnosed with PTSD in highschool, I was diagnosed with a lot of other things first.
There's also just the fact that, for whatever reason, people don't all develop the same symptoms in response to trauma. Some people with very complex trauma never experience classic PTSD symptoms. Some people are very dissociative and numb, or develop mood disorders, or obsessive-compulsive symptoms, or somatic symptoms, or eating disorders, or some combination of things. Some people never externally harm themselves or cope using substances while others develop addictions to these things.
In addition, some people's experiences with trauma don't fall under the PTSD criteria's definition of trauma, so even if other symptoms are present they don't "technically" fit criteria. And sometimes medical professionals use their own judgement and diagnose these people with PTSD anyway, and sometimes they don't.
Plenty of people diagnosed with other childhood trauma-based disorders besides CDDs also don't fit c/PTSD criteria or show many c/PTSD symptoms or receive a comorbid c/PTSD diagnosis for whatever reason. It's complicated and messy.
This is all to say, I've encountered medical professionals who treat PTSD as synonymous with "traumatized" and are very loose with what they call PTSD and I've also encountered medical professionals who are very strict about the criteria and are very insistent on only diagnosing people who fit that, and I've met a lot of professionals somewhere in the middle as well. I've also encountered plenty who would much rather focus on helping the symptoms than on what the diagnosis is or isn't, and who don't really like the way mental health diagnosis is structured in the first place.
So, to come back to your question... I don't think there really is an objective answer to it, though personally I'd just say "sure it's possible, and I wouldn't really worry about it much."
In the end, what I've found is that it doesn't actually really matter that much? Regardless of whether there is comorbid PTSD or whether there isn't (or whether it's delayed onset or etc), in the end what you're dealing with if you have a CDD is still trauma, and the treatment for that is more or less the same, regardless of what you call it. There might be differences in, say, approaches to medication specifically, or specific symptoms, but even that is often just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. Honestly, in my experience, treatment mostly looks different based on symptoms and individual needs rather than diagnoses, really.
In general, I find that a lot of people dealing with trauma and mental illness tend to over-focus on diagnosis and getting it right and trying to figure out whether they "really" have something or whether they're mistaken or somehow faking or so on. I think that's an unhelpful approach to it; there's no objective way to confirm that sort of thing, and either way you still need ways to cope with your symptoms, and coping skills are useful regardless of diagnosis. Learning how to ground yourself is useful regardless of whether you "really" dissociate that bad, learning emotional regulation skills is useful regardless of whether you "really" have severe mood swings, learning calming techniques and self-care and how to be gentle with yourself are good things for everyone to learn, coping skills are not just for people with certain diagnoses. In fact, you don't even need a diagnosis of anything to do these things.
And with trauma, like... it's all just trauma processing in the end, really.
I'll even go as far to say that even if you don't have PTSD, books and resources for PTSD might still be useful to you if you have a CDD or another trauma-related disorder, since a lot of symptoms overlap with other disorders and especially with trauma the recommendations for what to do about it tend to be applicable to a lot of different situations outside of strictly PTSD.
I realize I rambled a long time just to say "well, it's complicated and depends on what we mean by PTSD, but also it's all trauma anyway" but I hope this was helpful still?
I'm also glad to hear what you said about my blog, it was very nice to read.
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pholla-jm · 15 days
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Stronger Now
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lol, I found this deep in my WIP's. IMAGINE: STRONGER NOW ~ SANJI X SIBLING!READER GENRE: ANGST/FLUFF cw: during sabaody archipelago arc. also touches sanji's past. talk of slavery and child abuse. not proof read. first person p.o.v **************
"Everything will be okay... everything will be okay." Is what I say every single time I'm put onto that stage.  However, I knew that nothing would be okay. Whenever I'm put onto the stage, I worry for who is going to buy me next. How the next person is going to treat me... which would be shit. 
I don't regret what I did to receive this type of life. If I had a choice to redo anything it would be to help my younger brother sooner. I haven't seen him almost eleven years, and I hope wherever he is at he is alive and well. 
My younger brother Sanji, one of the sweetest people I know, did not deserve the torment he went through. Especially from our father or any of our siblings. 
The sound of my shoes hitting the ground is the only thing I could hear throughout the stone walls of the castle I currently resided in. I was currently searching for Sanji, wondering what he was doing since I haven't seen him in awhile. 
I suddenly hear a loud crash followed by some crying. I could hear some other voices, four voices to be exact. I didn't need to hear anything more to know what was going on. I quickly followed the voices and soon I was greeted with the sight of Yonji beating Sanji up. 
"Hey!" I shout walking over to the three males and picking all of them up by the back of the collar, "what do you think you're doing?!"  "We caught Sanji cooking again-"  Ichiji starts but I cut him off. "So you beat him up for it? I told you many times-"  "I don't care what you say! Sanji is weak!" 
I raise my eyebrow at his response, irritation and anger filling my veins. No matter how much I want to hit them, I won't. I refuse to hit a kid, no matter how much they deserve it. Instead, I drop all three of them on the ground. Each one landing on their bum with a 'oof'. 
"Go on, get out of here. Next time I catch you hurting Sanji, there will be dire consequences." 
All three of them got up and started to leave, each of them mumbling how one day they would be stronger than me and beat me up. Hah, like that day would ever come. 
"What's going on here?" I hear Judge, or rather father, say.  I look over to see him glowering down at me, and right next to him was my younger sister, Reiju.
I immediately feel Sanji go behind my legs, gripping onto them. I place my hand on the back of his head, comforting him. 
"None of your business." 
One would think that a father wouldn't support his kids hurting each other, but he was the opposite. I hated the fact he didn't claim Sanji on his own just because he considered him weak. 
"It is my business girl."  "It will be your business when you actually start caring for you children."  "I do care for them, not for that one though." 
I scowl at him, disgusted with him. I can't believe half of his DNA is in me. 
"Then it's none of your business. Let's go Sanji." I say turning around and grabbing his hand.  "You won't be able to protect him forever. Once you're married off, you're never allowed in this building." 
I grimace at his words. That's right, he set up a marriage for me. I don't even know the guy, this marriage is just for Judge's convenience. I ignore him and continue to walk with Sanji to my room where I have some medical stuff for him. 
I look down at Sanji, his face set in a frown. Now I could see all the bruises and bumps on him caused from his brothers.  "What's the matter Sanji?" I ask him.  He looks up at me, with tears in his eyes, "you're going to leave me one day." 
"Actually," I say before sitting him down on my counter so I could grab some bandages, "I think you're going to leave before me. But I'll always be with you. Even if I'm physically not here, I'll be here." I say pointing to his heart. 
I start to clean his cuts and put ointments on his bruises. 
He looks at me confused, "how will you be in my heart?"  I laugh at him, "no silly. I won't be in there physically. Metaphorically. No matter where you're at, I'll always love you and I'll be in your memory."  "But I want you to stay with me forever."  I give him a sad smile, knowing that things won't turn out that way, "I know... I know." 
Honestly where I'm at right now is a lot better than being married off to some guy I don't know. If I was married right now, I would probably be tied down with children and never allowed to leave the house. Huh, now actually that I'm thinking about it, both situations are the same. Either way, I ended up a slave. 
I close my eyes, letting the darkness overtake me. I was definitely going to need rest for what was going to happen next. Auctions were so tiring and it drained a lot of energy out of me. 
"Why do you protect him? He's so weak." Reiju asks me while I continue to write in my journal. Besides Sanji, I can tolerate Reiju sometimes. I place down my pencil at her question and close the journal.  "One day he won't be weak. But just because someone is weak, doesn't give someone the right to pick on them. If you are strong, then it is your duty to protect the weak."  Reiju tilts her head, "why?"  "Well wouldn't you want someone to help you if you were weak?"  Reiju hums in thought.  "If we help someone out while they are weak, they in turn will become stronger later. They will help aid other people. That person will never forget the kindness and will return the favor later if needed." 
"Ah," Reiju smiles up at me, "you're so smart (y/n)."  I smile back at her and ruffle her hair, "where's Sanji anyway?"  Her smile immediately goes into a frown making me worry.  "Father put him in the dungeons." 
"What?!" I immediately get up and start to rush around the room, gathering some things.  "What are you doing?" She asks.  "It doesn't matter. It's pass your bedtime though. You should get going to bed."  "But-"  "Now." 
Reiju sighs and leave my room. I continue to stuff things in a bag, including the journal I was previously writing in. Once I leave my room, I go out to grab a lantern knowing that Sanji was scared of the dark. 
I quickly make my way towards where the dungeons at, careful not to be seen by the guards. Once I pass them I can immediately hear the cries of my younger brother. The sounds causing my heart to clench. 
"Father please, I'm sorry. It's so dark down here. Please let me out." I bite my lip to suppress any tears from escaping. I hate this so much. Once I calm down my emotions, I pull out a match and light up the lantern. 
"It is pretty dark down here, huh Sanji?" I ask once I'm able to see him. 
There he was placed behind the bars with a metal helmet on him so I could only see his eyes. He had tears flowing down his face, but once he saw me his tears immediately dried up. 
"(y/n)!"  "Shh!" I say placing a finger on my lips and he nods his head.  Once I'm in front of him, I kneel down in front of him. "I'm so sorry Sanji..." I whisper grabbing onto his hand.  "It's not your fault..." He whispers back clenching onto my hand.  "I'm going to help you, okay? But you have to listen to everything I say." 
He immediately nods his head. I let go of his hand and bring both of my hands up to the helmet that was stuck on him.  "Relax." I tell him as I put my fingers in the helmet, facing away from him. I applied pressure the metal bending in the opposite direction until it broke. The broken pieces clunked on the floor and I could now see Sanji's full face. His eyes were wide as he looked at me. 
"There's that handsome face." I say pinching his cheek causing him to blush and swat my hand away. I laugh at his reaction before standing up, "did I hurt you?" I ask a little worried.  He shook his head, "no... you're so strong." He says with wonder. 
"I bet one day, you'll be stronger than me though. Stand back." I tell him and he listens to my orders. 
I grab two of the metal bars and push against them so there was enough space for Sanji to get through.  "You really think so?" He asks and I nod my head, "I know so." 
"Come here." I say waving him over and he doesn't waste another second to wrap his arms around my waist. His head resting right on my stomach. I place my hands on his back. I really wish I could stay like this forever. I just want to protect my little brother as long as I could, which is why I have to do this. 
"Let's go Sanji."  "Where are we going?" He asks, but I don't answer him.  
I walk over to one of the walls, punching the cobble wall. The stones fall easily to the ground causing a sliver of daylight to sneak into the room. The sun was rising, which meant the ship should be here soon. 
"(y/n), where are we going?" He asks as I drag him across the ship. There was already an island that I could see. A island that father was attacking. There was bound to be another ship nearby where I could get him to safety.  "Stop asking questions." 
I didn't hear anything else from him. 
It took a while for the fighting to stop, but neither of us were spotted which was good. I saw a ship from a far. 
"There," I say pointing to the ship, "go on there okay? There are wonderful people on there that will take care of you."  "Huh?" Sanji looks at me confused, "what's going on?"  "I know you want to be a cook Sanji. You have a gift and if you stay here, you won't be able to fulfill your dreams."  "B-but"  "You want to find the All Blue, don't you?"  His eyes widen at my words and tears start to well up in his eyes.  "Come with me." He says but I shake my head.  "I can't. Just go, Sanji!" 
Tears now fell down his face and loud sobs escaped his lips.  I put my bag over his shoulder and turn him back around the ship, "the sea is a big place. You're going to meet some people that love you more than your family ever did. So stop crying and just go!" I push him towards the ship trying to stop the tears running down my face. 
Sanji must of realized that I was right and continued to run towards the ship while crying. Hearing his cries only made my cries worse. 
"Stay safe, Sanji." 
After that, the rest was history. Once Judge found out what I did and the damage I caused, he immediately disowned me. He realized that he couldn't marry me off since I wasn't technically a Vinsmoke anymore. That combined with the fact he couldn't look at me any more, he sold me off to be a slave. I don't regret what happened though. I would happily do it again. The look of anger on his face was very pleasing to me. 
"Hey, get up. You're up next." Someone shook me and pushed me towards the stage. 
Well here we go.
I was pushed onto the stage where the announcer immediately started bidding for a price for me. It didn't take long with a bid of 3,000,000 bellis. I was so used to this that I didn't hear the small commotion that was going on in the crowd. 
Right after me was a mermaid, which I knew she was going to be placed for a high amount. I was right, of course, with 500,000,000 bellis. She was about to be pushed off the stage until there was a loud crash. Two men burst into the building, one of them punching a celestial dragon and punching another person. Soon a commotion erupted throughout the room causing everyone to run and destruction to follow.
What the hell is going on? 
"(y/n)!" I heard someone shout my name and I was soon grabbed.  I let out a small scream from shock and closed my eyes. I didn't know who was grabbing me, but I didn't fight back just in case it was one of the buyers.  "(Y/n)?! Is that you? Please look at me!" 
The voice was familiar causing me to slowly open my eyes and look up at the person who was holding my arm. I squint my eyes at the guy. The blonde hair covering one eye, and a swirly eyebrow. It couldn't be.... 
"Sanji?" 
A large smile is now placed on his face and his arms wrap around me, spinning me around.  "What are you doing here? How did you end up like this?" He asks me as soon as he places me down.  "That doesn't matter. What matters is that you're safe! I'm so happy to know that you didn't die out there." I smile at him. 
I was a bit confused to why he was frowning at me. 
"(y/n)," He says.  "What is it?"  "I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm a lot stronger now. You don't have to hide things from me." 
The smile falters from my face, "oh." 
That's right. He is grown now.  Sanji sighs, "just because I'm older and stronger now doesn't mean I still don't need you." 
"Once my crewmates find the keys, I'll get you out of this." He says pointing at the collar around my neck.  "Thanks." I say pulling wrists outwards so the chains could break. I do the same thing with the chains wrapped around my ankles. 
"So, you're on a crew now?"  "Yeah... we have a lot of catching up to do." He says patting my head, just like I used to do when he was a kid. 
"From now on, I'll protect you." 
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