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ahgasegotarmy116 · 3 months

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He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Five

Summary: Taehyung gets careless and breaks your heart yet again. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook Word Count: 4.7K~ Warnings: Implied yändere and mentions of signs of trauma because of it. (nothing too extreme) a/n: It's taken me so long to get this chapter out I'm sorryyy but I hope it was worth the wait! Thank you so much for your continued support on my stories and I hope you'll look forward to the next part!

Jungkook's visit last week really had me thinking about the choices I make on the daily.

I stopped stressing about what Taehyung might be doing when he's away and started thinking about ways I could improve myself.

It wasn't anything major but I wanted to take baby steps.

For instance, setting up a schedule for when I wake up and always making sure to not stay up past midnight. Along with promising myself to at least sit and write for a couple of hours per day but also taking breaks when I felt I needed to. I would come back though and finish only when I was satisfied and came to a proper stopping point.

Implementing these little changes in my life has worked wonders on my confidence and peace of mind. I feel like I'm accomplishing something and getting some sort of fulfillment in the day to day which I haven't been able to say for the past few years.

I guess all of this can be chalked up to Jungkook.

I know I'm ultimately the one who's implemented these things into my life but if he hadn't given me that push, I don't think I would've ever gotten to even see these small victories.

While I'm in the kitchen pouring myself a cup of coffee I hear a faint chime on my laptop and I smile knowing exactly who it is.

'Good morning Noona, did you sleep well?' I read from the all too familiar jkjkjk.97 and smile seeing that my suspicions were correct.

'I slept like a baby, who knew going to bed before dawn would do wonders!' I send back and when I try to stand up to walk back over to the kitchen I'm met with another email popping up from him.

'That's good! I'm happy to see that you're feeling a bit better these days :)' he sends and I smile at the fact that he's just as eager to reply to me. It's been like this ever since that day he dropped off my groceries. He would send me emails first thing in the morning almost like clockwork.

I'm surprised that he manages to keep a similar schedule to mine but I don't really know what he does most days except work.

I know he works at the grocery store but it seems to me like he's always working at odd hours. Most days even well past closing so it's got me thinking about what else he could possibly do for a living.

It's none of my business but I can't help but be curious about it since when I ask him how his day went, he usually says he's still working even though it seems like he's been working since dawn.

I really want to ask him but I don't want to pry. He seems like the kind of guy that keeps to himself and open up when he's ready.

I'm just hoping that there will come a day where he'll trust me as much as I have grown to trust him.

My thought process his interrupted by the sound of keys jingling in the door and my heart sinks to my stomach when I'm brought back to reality.

"Hey baby" Taehyung greets while taking off his shoes. It's Saturday so he doesn't have work which means he might be hanging around here for a while before no doubt heading out again.

"Hey" I respond quietly, feeling as though I'm retreating back into myself, not really being able to relax until I know what kind of headspace he's in.

"Where's my welcome home kiss from my gorgeous wife?" he asks while walking over to where I'm sitting at my desk. He leans down and kisses me on the lips, moulding his mouth against mine while I crane my neck up and return the kiss, placing a hand on his cheek to keep him connected.

"Welcome home" I let out after he pulls back, panting slightly as he nudges his nose against mine before standing up straight again. "Have you been up long?" he asks, him having gone out late last night and surprisingly turning up here again bright and early.

I hum in acknowledgment, "I've been waking up earlier these days so I can get a jump start on my writing and trying to go to bed earlier" I respond while watching his back as he walks over to the kitchen.

"Oh really? How's that going?" he questions, pouring himself a cup of coffee and walking back into the living room, waiting patiently for my answer.

"Well it's been nice to implement a bit of a routine since my days and nights have kind of been all over the place for a while. Plus, I feel like this story is really coming along. I even started mapping out ideas for the next book in the series!" I say and he looks at me as if he's almost falling in love with me again, making me shy under his gaze.

"That's amazing honey. I feel like I haven't seen you smiling like this in a really long time. "Looks like all you needed was a little discipline to really get your life back together huh?" he say while giving me a knowing look, cocking his head to the side and letting his eyes roam my body for a second. No doubt looking at the faint bruises he'd left from last week.

"I guess so" I say, awkwardly rubbing my bicep where he had grabbed me. "How are you feeling?" he questions, coming a bit closer and ghosting his fingers over the marks. "I'm fine, they don't hurt as much anymore" I say, slipping my arm out if his grasp.

"That's good, I'm sorry I got a little rough with you. I was frustrated with some work stuff and I took it out on you. That wasn't fair of me" he apologizes while brushing the hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. "It's okay" I say quietly, looking down at the floor to avoid his gaze.

"No, it's not okay" he says tilting my chin up and making me make eye contact.

"I haven't been treating you well and I wanna make it up to you" he says, caressing my face with the hand that he used to tilt my chin up. "Okay" I whisper as he leans down to connect our lips again but before they're able to touch his phone rings.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone and the name Tiffany flashes across the screen with a kiss emoji at the end, giving me a name to associate as to why he's actually never home.

"I've gotta take this" he says and I nod my head to show I don't mind even though my heart is breaking more and more with each ring. He gives me a quick kiss to apologize before answering the call and walking into the kitchen.

I take that as a sign that he'll be leaving for the night again and head into the bathroom since it's the one place he won't question as to why I've shut him out. I close the lid of the toilet and cover my ears so I can't hear him but curiosity gets the best of me and I hold my breath to see if I can make any words out despite my whole motives of coming here in the first place.

"No I ca-. Well I just got here I-. Okay, okay fine I'm coming. Let me just come up with an excuse to tell her and I'll be there soon. Okay? Alright, love you too. Bye" I hear him say and he ends the call. I cover my mouth, trying to stop any sounds of heartbreak that might come out and listen as he walks down the hall to our room.

"Y/n? Honey where are you?" he asks, barely bothering to look for me. "I'm in here" I say, turning on the sink to drown out the sound a bit to prevent him from hearing how wobbly my voice sounds from the emotions I'm trying to keep at bay.

"I've gotta head out for the day but I'll be back tomorrow night. You gonna be okay?" he asks as if he cared about me. "Yeah I'll be fine don't worry, I'll see you then" I yell above the sound and he says a quick goodbye through the door in return and leaves soon after.

Once I hear the front door close I let some of those choked sobs go.

He's never been that obvious before. Does he just not bother to hide since he sees that I don't question him about it? I don't even know why I still care since it's very clear that he doesn't care about me.

At that I look at my phone and see that there's another email from Jungkook that came in a little while ago which gives me motivation enough to dry my eyes and get myself together so I can head back out to my laptop and get lost in this safe haven we've created for each other.

'Did you forget about me already?' he questions, seeing as it has taken me a while to respond. I couldn't risk doing it and Taehyung finding out about us. Even though there is no 'us' when it comes to Jungkook and I, unlike that Tiffany girl he just left me for today.

'I'm sorry Taehyung came home. He just left though...' I send and get a response back immediately, seeing he's been waiting for my response.

'Are you okay? Did something happen?' he asks and I smile at the thought that there is someone out there that cares enough to ask.

We've been emailing each other everyday since he came over and I've opened up to him a bit more about my relationship with Tae and he's been really good at just letting me talk and just being there for me. Always talking me through things and helping me process no matter if it's problems with Tae or even other more mundane things like writer's block.

He's just there, no matter what.

'Can we meet up today?' I type out but hesitate, letting my hand hover over the mouse.

Watching, waiting, worrying about if this would be a good idea but before making that decision myself I accidentally hit send when I try to put my hand down to rest it on my lap.

"Shit" I say out loud but before I can figure out how to unsend the message I get a response back.

'Sure :) Did you want to meet at the Blue Pearl? Or should I come over?' he asks and I hold my breath, weighing the pros and cons to this whole situation and decide to just say fuck it and do what I want for once.

'Can you come over?' I send and close my laptop, too nervous to look at his reply. "What the fuck am I doing inviting a younger guy to my apartment when my husband is gone? What am I doing?" I say out loud and pace back and forth until I hear the chime come from my phone this time.

'Be there soon :)' "I'm fucked" I admit out loud before running around and quickly getting myself and the house ready.

~~~~~

A rhythmic pattern of knocks plays and puts my mind at ease while I walk towards the door and open it.

"Noona!" he greets with a smile before giving me a hug that catches me off guard making me take a step back to help me stay balanced. "Thank you for coming" I say while returning his embrace and letting go a second later so I can step aside to let him in.

"Are you okay?" he asks after having taken off his shoes and taken in my form to what I don't realize is to look for any signs of harm. "Yes I'm fine" I say with a sad smile yet know for a fact that even if I try to deny it he can read me like a book.

"Then why were you crying?" he asks, looking at my red eyes and flushed cheeks. "I heard Tae talking to one of the girls he's cheating on me with" I mumble and at that Jungkook takes my hand and leads me over to the couch without saying a word.

"He didn't even try hard to hide it. Like he has a stupid kiss emoji next to her name and everything. He had only been here for like twenty minutes tops before he left" I spill out. He keeps a hold of my hand, looking down at it while I let out all the things I've been holding in.

The worries, the doubts, the fear, the stress. I don't know when it started and I can't figure out how to make it stop.

"I don't know what to do" I admit, looking down at my lap, watching as the tears fall from my eyes and onto the fabric of my jeans.

"Do you want me to be honest and tell you what I think or do you want me to just listen?" he asks, rubbing circles on the back of my hand. "Be honest?" I pose almost as a question, knowing this is the ugly truth I've been hiding from.

"Can you tell me more than one reason as to why you should stay with him? Besides him being your husband" he asks, sitting silently and waiting for me to respond, giving me time to think it through but when I shake my head he goes forward with posing his argument.

"If you can't manage to come up with a reason as to why you should stay with him then what's keeping you from leaving? I know you said that you're scared and you don't know what to do but the fact that you're not doing anything is hurting you more than if you decided to leave him" he states, I just nod my head and listen, letting him say his piece.

"He's hurting you. He's hurting you physically" he says while ghosting his fingers along the bruises that run up my arm, "Mentally" he continues brushing the hair off of my face and rubbing his thumb up against my temple "And sexually" he finishes, taking note of the hickeys and the way I flinch away from him when he tries to lay his hand on my neck.

"That's just how Taehyung is, he likes things rough" I say, making excuses for the marks that are clearly beyond rough sex.

"But do you like it?" he questions, catching me off guard with an intimacy of the question. "He keeps me satisfied if that's what you mean" I answer curtly, hoping he'll take that as an answer.

"That's not what I asked. Do you enjoy the way he has sex with you? Is that how you want to have sex?" he continues, not backing down from getting an answer out of me. I look up at him to see if he's seriously asking me that question and all I can see is a serious expression on his face.

"I don't mind it" I say, dancing around my answer. "Noona" he warns in a tone of voice he's never used with me, catching me off guard.

"N-no. No I don't like it. It's too rough for me and I don't like it" I admit. He nods, casting his eyes down as if he's lost in thought before asking his next question. "Have you ever told him?" he questions and I shake my head only to realize moments later that he can't see me. "No I haven't told him" I respond quietly and he nods again before looking back up at me.

"Why?" he asks and I'm left with one answer. "Because I'm afraid of what he might do to me if I say no" I explain. "I figure it's better to say yes and take it instead of saying no and having him force himself on me" I cover my mouth not realizing the fact that I said the thing that I was even too afraid to admit to myself.

"Has he ever forced himself on you?" he asks while clenching his jaw, clearly upset at the thought. "I didn't tell him no but I tried to make him see that I didn't want it but he didn't care to pay attention" I answer, getting rid of the filter seeing as it won't do either of us any good if I were to hold back.

"That's one of the many reasons that you shouldn't even be with him anymore" he starts, his whole body tense, anger just bubbling under the surface. "You shouldn't have to be with someone you're scared of. I just don't kno-"

"That's just it, you don't know. You told me that before, that I shouldn't be with someone that I'm scared of but you just don't get it. You've never been married. You've never had to deal with struggles like this. You make it sound so easy, that I could just leave and never look back but it's not that simple" I spout off, defending myself and my decisions.

"Noona I just want to he-" "I know, I know" I say cutting him off but gaining a softer tone at the end, shrinking back into myself, ridding myself of my defensive behavior. "I'm sorry Jungkook, I shouldn't have said that. I asked you to come over and then I just yelled at you and I just..." I trail off, hating myself for doing that to him.

He tilts my head up and looks at me, studying my features and I cast my eyes down, too nervous to maintain his strong gaze. "Look at me" he says in a soft tone but I keep my eyes down, focused on my hands that I have balled into fists.

"Look at me, please..." he whispers and at that I decide to do as he says and I see how his eyes have glossed over, the stars in them wavering. "He doesn't deserve you" he whispers cupping my face, running his thumb along my cheekbone to brush off a tear that I didn't even realize had fallen.

"I don't know what to do" I let out in a choked sob, letting the tears that I've been holding in fall, never letting myself cry enough to feel better. He pulls me in and I latch onto him, burring my face into his shoulder as he holds onto me tighter, further showing me that I'm safe with him.

"Whatever you need I'm here for you. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it" he says, the deep rumble of his voice brings me comfort. "I-" I start but cut myself off with another sob. "It's okay, just let it all out" he says and cling to him harder.

After having sat there and cried with him for what felt like hours my sobs slowly die down to sniffles and my breathing patterns return to normal. "You okay?" he questions, more so asking if I had finished crying versus how I'm feeling about my current reality. I nod my head but nuzzle in closer to him, not wanting to let go just yet.

"What's wrong?" he questions. "I don't want you to see my face" I complain into his shirt and he laughs at (from his perspective) how adorable I am. "Aw come on why not?" he chuckles and I nuzzle my face into his neck, making skin to skin contact without paying any mind to it. "My face is probably all red and my eyes are puffy from crying" I mumble against his neck.

His body goes stiff but I don't take too much notice and move a bit closer to him, not realizing how I'm making him feel and only realize it after he clears his throat a few times. "Is something wrong?" I ask finally taking in how uncomfortable he seems.

"No, nothing's wrong I just- no it's nothing" he says trying to backpedal out of this. "It's obviously something if you're reacting like that" I press, wanting him to be as truthful with me as I have been with him.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" I say, pulling away from him. "No! Noona no, it's just that. Your lips were on my neck and you were really close and..." he trails off, hoping that's explanation enough.

"I didn't even realize I was doing that, I'm sorry..." I trail off as well, hating that I made this situation even more awkward than it already is. "It's okay Noona I just, well I just want to make sure we don't cross a line and it was making it hard for me to do so" he explains.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, wanting to know exactly what he's thinking. "It's just, well you're married and I think you know that I'm attracted to you by now so it was just making it hard for me to think straight" he admits and I nod my head and look down at my lap, not really knowing how I'm supposed to respond.

"I hope this doesn't change things between us. I really do want to be your friend but I understand if I've made you uncomfortable. I just thought you should know" he finishes and waits with bated breath for my response.

"Would things be different?" I question, not fully asking the question since I'm not sure if I want to know the answer. "Would things be different if what?" he presses. "Would things be different if I wasn't married?" I ask and I close my eyes, scared of seeing his reaction.

"You can't just ask me that" he says and I look up at him to see his face turned away, showing how pink the tips of his ears have gotten and how his jaw is clenching. "Why not?" I press, needing to know based off of the kind of reaction he's giving me.

"You don't know how hard I've been holding myself back" he says and tongues his cheek, making me widen my eyes at the motion. "Holding yourself back from what?" I press further, needing to know what's running through his mind right now.

"From kissing you" he says, finally looking back at me, making eye contact before his eyes flicker down to my lips. "I-" "I should go" he says, cutting me off before I can say anything further. "Wait, no you don't have to go. I'm sorry" I say, trying my best to keep him here. I can't let him just run off after a confession like that but he's giving me no other option as I watch him stand up.

"You have nothing to apologize for Noona. I shouldn't have said that. I do have to go though, my family is waiting for me back at home" he says and I widen my eyes, never having heard him talk about his family as of yet.

"Family?" I question, my curiosity peaked. "Yeah I live with my mom and my three siblings" he says while walking over to put his shoes on. "Three?" I question and he nods his head not bothering to give me much more than that.

"That's a topic of conversation for another time though" he says after he stands back up from tying his laces. "Oh okay" I say and hug myself, providing myself some comfort, hating to see him rushing out of here already.

"They really are waiting for me. My mom has to work tonight so I'm stuck taking care of the kiddos" he says, giving me a soft smile before turning to open the door and I follow behind him.

"Let me know when you get home okay?" I say, leaning up against the door frame. "I will" he says and reaches out to pull me in for a hug, accepting it right away.

"I still want you in my life so please, don't disappear" I mumble into his chest and he hums in acknowledgment. "You can't get rid of me that easily. Not after I fought for that title of best friend" he says pulling back and looking down at me fondly and I smile back up at him before he places a hand on the side of my neck and leans down to place a kiss on my forehead.

"Bye Noona" he says, giving me a soft smile. I smile back up at him and return his sentiment before he turns to walk away.

I watch as he goes, waiting for him to get in his car where he looks back up towards my apartment, not expecting to see me waiting for him but smiles when he does. I smile back and wave and watch as he pulls out of his spot and makes his way out of the parking lot.

"I'm really fucked" I mumble to myself and turn to walk inside my apartment.

"He gets more and more handsome each time I see that young man" Mrs. Mitchell says, making me jolt back from the scare of being caught.

"Mrs. Mitchell we didn't-" I start but she waves me off. "You don't need to make excuses to me love. Like I said last time, I wouldn't blame you if you did" she says and places a hand on my arm, noticing all the mixed emotions I have written all over my face.

"Why don't we change the subject and have you sign those books we had spoken about the other day" she says, turning to walk towards the stack she had waiting by her front door like she had told me she would.

I smile at her enthusiasm for my writing and and am thankful that she doesn't address what had happened between Jungkook and I anymore.

"There you go" I say putting the cap on the pen and handing the last book back to her. "Thank you dear! The girls are going to love these!" she says placing the books back in their place. "Girls?" I question, chuckling at her reaction, so happy a simple thing like this could make her happy.

"Yeah! The other women in my book club. I recommended your books to them and they've been begging me to get them a signed copy from you ever since" she says, turning back to face me. "Well I hope they enjoy them!" I reply happily, embarrassed still that woman of their age are reading it but thankful nonetheless.

"We're all meeting together here next Sunday so maybe if you're not too busy writing you could stop by and have tea with us. I just know they would love to meet you!" she says, practically glowing with excitement.

"I'll have to get back to you on that one but it sounds lovely" I smile, my heart swelling at the thought of meeting some of my readers. "Wonderful! But I'll let you get back to your day dear. Make sure to set aside some time to take care of yourself and relax tonight okay? You deserve it" she says placing a comforting hand on my arm before we both go our separate ways.

As I close the door behind me I'm met with that all too familiar chime and I walk over to my desk, this time a bit more tentative than before, being nervous as to what I might find from my familiar friend jkjkjk.97

Home :) is all he sends but I decide to respond, nervous of the result if I don't, scared that he might shut me out or fade away.

Have fun with the kiddos tonight! And thank you for coming today, it really meant a lot to me I send back, hoping to make things sound normal.

Anytime, let's see each other again soon. Okay? he asks and I can tell he's waiting earnestly for a response.

Okay. This time at The Blue Pearl so we can say 'Hi' to Rae. I miss her :( I say, hoping that he won't take that as a way of me keeping him from coming over when I really do miss Rae.

The Pearl it is! Goodnight Noona he says, ending the conversation early tonight, no doubt having a lot to do to manage three kids for the night.

Goodnight Jungkook I send and close my laptop, vowing to do as I had agreed upon and take the rest of the day to take care of myself.

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redlittlefoxari · 5 months

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Astarion Epilogue : An Adventure in Making Life: Chapter Three: All the Stars In the Sky

Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)

Relationships: Astarion X Tav

Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/Original Female Character(s)Astarion/Tav (Baldur's Gate)Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/ReaderAstarion & Tav (Baldur's Gate)Astarion/Charname (Baldur's Gate)Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/Original Character(s)

Characters: Astarion (Baldur's Gate)Karlach (Baldur's Gate)Gale (Baldur's Gate)Wyll (Baldur's Gate)Shadowheart (Baldur's Gate)Lae'zel (Baldur's Gate)Tav (Baldur's Gate)Jaheira (Baldur's Gate)

Master List

Warning: Angst, Pregnancy, NSFW 18+, Fluff, Smut, Blood, violence.

Summary: Tav (You) and Astarion talk about the prospects of raising a half vampire child. *This chapter contains smut*

The both of you stared at Jaheira in confused silence mouth a jar but no words flowing from them. Shock rippled through your body as her words finally hit some point of understanding within you. You were pregnant, and Astarion was the father. Astarion, a vampire spawn sired the child that is now growing inside you.

“That is not possible.” Astarion broke the silence. “I can’t have children I’m a Vampire spawn.”

“It seems that your master never gave you the talk about the birds and the bees while he was alive.” Jaheira smiled at Astarion's statement. “Though I don’t think he kept you fed enough for that to be a problem.

“What do you mean?” You finally broke your silence.

“The body of a vampire is still not yet explored fully but what we do know is that if a vampire has fed enough and is sated their hunger, they are able to produce a child with a living humanoid creature.” Jaheira moved away from you and approached Astarion, who looked at you as if you were a new creature entirely.

“Hold on.” You moved to sit at the side of your bed but felt too weak to do so.

“Careful. You will be on bed rest for a couple of days until we can get your strength up.” Jaheira tapped Astarion on his shoulder to break him out of his self-induced trance. “I need you to come back to us.”

Astarion nodded. “Of course, I’m just trying to piece everything together. I thought babies ate nutrients from whatever the mother ate, why did you feed her your blood?”

“What do you think a half-vampire would eat Astarion?” Jaheira looked entirely like a mother teaching two teenagers about sex ed for the first time.

The question didn’t need an answer but you all thought it. blood. Specifically the blood of the person who was carrying it. The dizziness that you had felt over the last couple of days coupled with not eating anything contributed to you passing out. You had become extremely anemic as your body could not resupply itself with blood. The baby was eating you alive.

A half-vampire baby probably ate solid food as well but you had been starving yourself for a week since you didn’t want to get sick in front of Astarion. In hindsight, you should have just gotten sick in front of him and found out what was going on sooner. It would have been a pain to have Astarion fuss over you, but that meant he cared deeply for you.

It suddenly dawned on you how much of a miracle this pregnancy would be. Elves already didn’t get pregnant easily. For an elf to have a child someone had to die. All elves were reincarnated after passing because there were only a certain number of elves' souls in the world. On top of that vampires weren’t known for siering children. The only way you knew of them ‘having children’ was when a vampire lord made spawn. But spawn were mostly considered slaves that did their master's bidding only using children as a thinly veiled way of making what they were doing justifiable.

“In any case, you two need to talk and I need to ready some herbs for you to take.” Jaheira’s voice broke your train of thought.

“What herbs?” Your voice held a note of concern. Would these herbs be for neutering or purging?

“That depends on the two of you.” She looked between the two of you. Astarion eyes never left you and his long piercing stare was beginning to make you uncomfortable. “What kind would you like me to prepare?”

The question sounded so innocent, but behind the words, there was a whole host of things unsaid. You met Astarion’s gaze for the first time since you heard the news of what was now growing inside you and you couldn’t read his expression. Something behind his eyes was working you could see his mind thinking a mile a minute trying to take in what was going on and what this meant for yours and his future.

“Can you give us some time alone Jaheira?” You asked just a courtesy Jaheira was already making her way to the door.

“Of course, the two of you have much to discuss….” You watched as she looked at you and then to Astarion who was still frozen and at a loss for words at the moment which didn’t happen very often. “I’ll go get you two something to… eat that should give you plenty of time to chat.”

You nodded your head at her and she opened the front door and walked out onto the street towards what you assumed would be a butcher. Leaving you alone with the shocked love of your life. You took a deep breath and let the breath out of your lungs loudly and slowly.

“Astarion… Come back to me.” You hadn’t had to say those to him in a long time. You still remember when your relationship was new, and there were times when he would be making love to you and his eyes would glaze over and it was as if he was a million miles away. You would place a hand on his cheek to ground him back to this plain and say those words. The lovemaking would often stop after he returned to you but that didn’t bother you. He was all that mattered to you and you would take him sex or no sex.

This time, your hand was not on his face to ground him but your words were all it took to bring him back. Astarion blinked twice trying to return moisture to his eyes. With a quick shake of his head, his silver curls becoming wild and loose. He moved towards you and sat at the side of the bed taking your hands in his.

“This is all quite a shock isn’t it darling.” Astarion looked into your eyes, which were full of concern. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know Astrion… I never pictured myself having children even before you entered my life.” The last part of your words were important. It was important to you that Astarion knew you never thought you would have children not just because the two of you were together and you thought it impossible.

“And I never really pictured myself having children either. Well, I mean… I don’t know if I ever did while I was alive and I thought it was impossible with what I am now.” Astarion made a gesture towards himself.

“Well….” You paused thinking of what to say next. “What do you think of the thought now that you know you can have children?”

Astarion paused to think for a moment. He took his hands from yours and placed a closed fist with his thumb and pointer finger over his lips. It felt like an eternity had passed by the time he answered your question.

“I think if it’s with you I would love nothing more than to raise a child with you.” he placed an open palm on your stomach and looked deep into your eyes. “If that's what you want.”

Tears started to well up behind your eyes. You leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his lips Despite all the uncertainty when it came to this you knew that deep down that as long as you had Astarion by your side the two of you could conquer words.

“If it’s with you of course.” You placed one hand on his cheek and the other over your belly. “I can’t believe this…. This has to be a one-in-a-million chance.”

Astarion smiled and placed one of his hands over your belly as well. “We must have done something right. Now, we should find out all we can about what is inside you.” You could hear the sarcastic comment before it left his lips. “I wanna know what I’m getting myself into just in case it tries to eat you on the way out.”

You grabbed the nearest pillow and smacked him as hard as you could in the face with it. The impact didn’t do much but Astarion still fainted as if you mortality wounded him and fell back on the bed clutching his hands to his chest. His theatrics made you laugh and you knew he was trying to cut the tension with jokes and sarcasm.

“I know what you’re doing Astarion… Thank you this is going to be something new for both of us…. It's okay to be a little scared.

Astarion used his elbows to sit up. “Come now we’ve come up against and fought worse. I’m a little upset that I must share your body with another dark power.

Your cheeks reddened slightly. “Astarion…”

“What?” He pushed himself upright and leaned into you so that your face and his were only a few inches apart. “Is your body flooding you with hormones?” Astarion moved in closer placing a kiss against your jawline. “Because I’m suddenly feeling as though we should celebrate our good fortune the same way we obtained it.

When did Jaheira say she was going to be back again?

The thought quickly left your mind as Astarion’s lips continued to press kisses down your neck and a light exhale signaled to Astrion to continue. His right hand made its way under your shirt to find your breasts and cup one gently in his palm. You pushed into his hand with your chest out of reflex your body wanting him to touch you more.

“You know I should have known something was up when your breast started to get bigger and the rest of you hadn’t.” In one swift motion, Astarion had your shirt off of your body and your breasts were on full display. “Delicious.”

Astarion licked his lips and took one of your hardened nipples into his mouth sucking hungrily. A loud moan left your lips as his tongue swirled around the peak of your breasts. With his other hand, he began to give attention to your other breast kneading it softly in between pinching the tip. You were dripping for this man in front of you but did not have the energy to return the heavy petting he was giving you.

“Astarion…” You tried pushing him away but even that was too much for your body. “I’m too weak to do this.”

Astarion’s mouth left your breast and his hand left your breast to now rest on your cheek. His eyes contained lust, longing, want, need, and love all in one gaze. “I know. Let me take care of you. Let me show you everything your body deserves and more for the gift you have given me.” He laid a gentle kiss on your lips. “I did not know that this was possible, but that thought of you carrying my child within you makes me want you more.”

You pressed a hard, needy kiss to his lips. Gods dammit this man deserved the word and then some. “I love you more than there are stars in the sky and sand in the oceans Astarion.”

“How poetic. I love you more than there is blood in my veins and I swear to protect you and our unborn child.” His eyes became serious for a moment as he spoke. “And if anyone threatens you or them I will stick a dagger between their ribs and drink them until they are bone dry.”

“Why is that the hottest thing I’ve ever heard?” you said with a whine in your voice.

“Because you are just as fucked up as I am.” Astarion swung his right leg over your legs and when he was straddling you, stood up on his knees allowing him the room needed to pull you down the bed so your head rested on the pillow. “Now all I want you to do now is shout my name darling.”

“I can definitely do that.” With those words Astartion made quick work unlacing your pants and sliding them down your body in an easy fluid motion. “Why am I always the one who has to get naked first?”

“That doesn’t sound like my name.” Astarion reached back grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head throwing it to the floor once it was free.

You drank his perfect body in as he pulled down his own pants using his own legs once his arms couldn’t reach any longer. He stood before you straddling you and gazing at you with hunger in his eyes. You returned the look, feeling impatient as your body craved to feel him inside of you. Craved for him to fill you fully with not just his impressive length.

“Please…” It was a breathy plee that left your lips begging for him to fill you. “Astarion…”

He moved his right knee to your inner left thigh and used it to push your legs apart. His lips pressed against yours hard and demanding begging for access to your mouth. You opened your lips obligingly and Astarion did not hesitate to explore your mouth with his tongue, leaving nothing untouched. A moan left your throat and you felt his long fingers weave through your hair pulling an even loader moan from you.

“I’m going to fill you till you burst.” As he spoke his length glided into you filling you completely.

“Fuck! Astarion!” Your words were a breathy moan.

You caught a glimpse of his cocky smile as he began a slow hard pace that had him pulling his length almost completely out of you before slamming back in hitting you in just the right spot that caused pleasure to shoot through your body. His thumb made lazy circles over your clit as a coil tightened in your lower stomach. With every thrust, his name escaped your lips in a breathy moan.

“Tell me love?” His mouth was next to your ear.

“Hmm?” You dared not speak for that would be a distraction from the pleasure.

“How bad do you want to feel my release inside you?” His words were quiet but they rang in your ears.

You placed your mouth next to his ear to form your response. “I want to feel you dripping from me after we are done.”

It was Astarion’s turn to moan as your words sent him over the edge and had him spilling himself inside you. As you felt his hot seed release inside you your climax came and you tightened around his length screaming his name from the top of your lungs in pleasure. By the end of the two of your climax, the two of you were panting hard and looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

You heard a knock at the door followed by someone speaking. “I’m assuming by the sounds of it the two of you have made your choice.” It was Jaheira. “I’ll just leave your meals outside the door for the two of you to retrieve at your leisure and I’ll be back tomorrow with the herbs that will help you through this pregnancy.”

Your face had turned beet red as you realized that Jaheira had just heard most if not all of what you and Astarion just did. You hoped to all the gods that she only heard the end and that didn’t wish to think on it any further.

“Thank you Jaheira.” Astarion pulled himself from you and you whimpered at the loss of him inside you. He shot you a flirtatious look a promise of more to come. “We are in your debt.”

“Yes yes, I know. I will be seeing the two of you tomorrow and Astarion.”Jaheira sounded like a mother.

“Yes?”

“Do keep off her long enough for her to get some rest.”

With that Jaheira left, and Astarion put his pants back on to gather up the food she left at the front door. When he opened the door there was a bag of fruits and vegetables, dried meats and cheese, and two quart-sized jars of blood. One was obviously for Astarion which meant the other was meant for you. The thought made your stomach churn but also made it rumble at the same time.

“This is going to be interesting.” Astarion gathered the food and blood, walking them to the dining room table. He then walked to the cabinet lining the walls in the kitchen and fished out two wine glasses.

“What are you doing?” You could only see a little of what he was doing as you tried adjusting yourself in bed to get a better view of what he was doing.

“I’m making it easier for you to pretend that this red liquid in this jar is nothing but some wine.” He set the glasses on the table and poured the blood from one of the jars into the wine glasses. One the glass was half full he walked both of them over to the bed and handed one to you and the other he kept for himself. “To life.”

Astarion raised his glass and took a long drink of his “wine” his eyes watching you over the rim of his glass. You didn’t dare sniff the contents because you knew the strong iron sent would do you in and you would lose your courage. Holding your breath you placed the glass to your lips and took a long, deep drink of your own. The taste was just as you expected it was metallic and thick as it coated your tongue and slid down your throat but you dared not stop till the glass was empty.

When you finished the cup you let out the breath you were holding. “To life.”

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probably-writing-x · 11 months

Text

Armour - Chapter Three

Summary: Having your heart broken was one thing. But Rafe watching somebody break your heart? That was something nobody could prepare for.

Warnings: mentions of a toxic relationship, cursing, i think that’s everything?

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long to come out !! I went away for a few days and had the busiest week ever but I’m back y’all and I love you <3. Also, I love this storyyyyy !!

———

Rafe’s plan had only been to stay for a few days. And those ‘few’ days were rapidly coming to an end. You’d noticed it first when you’d made your way downstairs and his bag was now packed beside the couch, a duffle only half full. There was a pair of shoes sat next to it and his jacket slung over the top - likely for when he got back to New York. He hadn’t mentioned to you about him leaving, hadn’t even really spoken about New York at all - when you asked him how life was in the city, he rolled his eyes and said ‘you make me sound so pretentious’. You hadn’t asked again and it hadn’t ever come up in conversation, and so you’d just assumed he didn’t want to talk about it yet. But with his bag seemingly waiting for him to go, the realisation dawned on you that you now might not get the chance.

“Good morning!” Rafe looks up as you walk through to the kitchen, “Sleep well?”

You smile, his face is more tanned now than when he arrived, the sun working to return to him, “Yeah, all good. Did you?”

He nods, “Yeah, I just had to get up early to see a couple of people.”

Yesterday night had felt so normal. You’d swam until the sun had fully disappeared, and Rafe spent the next half an hour pretending he knew the stars in the sky, though you were certain he only named one of the constellations right - one of the ones that everyone knows. The pair of you had decided to leave when you were both shivering and you’d lost all feeling in your feet. You’d wrapped towels around you and he’d chased you when you stole his. You showered and changed into the warmest clothes you could find, sat on the couch with Rafe and a mug of tea as the night passed, both of you eventually giving in to sleep when your eyes felt too heavy to beat.

“Do you fancy pancakes?” He suggests, “I want pancakes.”

“As long as you’re better at making them by now,” You point out, walking around the side of the kitchen island.

“Hey! Cut me some slack okay? I was like eighteen!”

“Still old enough to know how to make pancakes,” You shake your head, opening a couple of the cupboards to look for ingredients.

The last time the two of you made pancakes together was when you were both in high school - your options were either revising for finals or finding something else to distract yourselves. You’d opted for the latter. You’d walked the long way to the shop and bought ingredients, whisked up a batch of pancake batter and spilt flour all over the counter. Rafe had been in charge of cooking them, but he’d left the heat too high on the pan and used way too much oil, and the first attempt at a pancake resulted in batter spattering up from the pan and flying into the air. He’d yelled at you jokingly to take cover and had pulled you under the shelter of his arms, your head crushed against his chest as the two of you laughed. You hadn’t thought about it too much then - you’d been dating James by that point anyway. But, now, the thought of Rafe’s arms around you like that made your heart swell just a little.

“Okay what do we need?” Rafe asks, rummaging in one of the cupboards to pull out a big bowl and a whisk.

You lay out the few ingredients on the countertop and start to pour rough measurements of them into the bowl, waiting as Rafe whisks them around, some flour splashing over the lip of the bowl.

“Rafe! Careful!” You laugh, hitting at his arm.

“See? Don’t hit me, you made it worse,” He shakes his head, “So messy (Y/N).”

You roll your eyes and take out a pan, pouring a tiny bit of oil onto the surface and swirling it around.

“Okay so, from experience, we need to be ready to run,” Rafe comments, pouring a circle of batter into the pan.

“So, this is going better than last time,” You smile, “It’s good to see we’ve both got better at doing this.”

“Alright, flip it!” He encourages, watching you patiently.

“Oh, god, no, I’m terrible at flipping them,” You shake your head, “Can you do it?”

Rafe laughs and steps around so that he is stood behind you, his arms wrapping around either side. His hands fold themselves over yours on the handle of the pan, his chest flush against your back.

“We’ll both do it,” He mumbles, his chin above your head to watch the sight in front of the two of you, “Ready?”

He tightens his grip around your hands and lifts the pan up, both of you watching as the pancake flips. It lands on its other side but one of the sides folds upwards on itself.

“Okay so we’re still not the best at making pancakes but we’re definitely getting better.”

You manage to make up enough pancakes for three each and a small pile of mini ones because Rafe always says it’s the best bit when you share them between you. You put maple syrup on yours and he puts whipped cream on his and the two of you sit beside each other on the kitchen island, your elbows bumping as you cut into the fluffy pancakes.

“So, what are your plans for today?” You ask him, wiping your mouth on a napkin.

“Well, I should pro-“

“Hey!” Sarah interrupts, coming through to the kitchen.

You’re sure her bump has grown even in the days you’d been here, and every time you saw her you got a new ounce of excitement for seeing her become a Mom - a day you’d spoken about since the two of you were in pigtails.

“So, John B’s got work to do today,” Sarah explains, “But I need help picking out a crib for the nursery. What do you say we leave in like thirty minutes?”

You nod, “Yeah, of course, I’ll come with you. I’ll go and get ready now.”

Your eyes catch Rafe’s for a brief second and you can see something in them that you hadn’t noticed before, like an odd uncertainty or something close to a guilt. But you offer him a smile and he smiles back before his eyes flick away from you, back down to the fork in his hands.

~~~

Within the hour, you and Sarah are already at the only store on the islands that could actually sell cribs - though the options were limited and you were sure it would be a better choice to accept JJ’s offer of making one for her. You pick up a few other supplies whilst you’re there though - a wooden decoration for the nursery wall, a book shelve with clouds on either end, a few story books with no more than five words per page. Eventually, you give up on the rest, and go to the coffee shop together, taking a seat at a different table from the one you’d been at with James.

“So, did the talk with James make you feel better about things?” Sarah asks, stirring a spoon around her decaff coffee.

You take a deep breath, “I think so… I don’t know.”

She smiles a little, “I figured.”

“I just-“ You shake your head, “I still don’t get it, you know? The reasons he’s giving me, the way he’s acting - I still don’t know how he thinks he’s made the right decision by throwing away a nine year relationship,” You spill, words seeming to tumble into the space between you.

“Well, when you saw him did you want to go back to him?”

You stop then, letting the question sit.

“If he’d have told you then that he wanted to get back together with you, would you have gone?”

The words settle and you still have no response. There’s not a single thought in your mind that could string a sentence together. When you’d seen James yesterday, he wasn’t a boy who knew you. His hands weren’t outstretched to hold your heart, his eyes not flooded with an admiration he would only have for you, his brain not ticking over to remember every detail you’d told him. And you hadn’t reached for him either. You hadn’t felt that pull to return, the kind that made you fight back tears, made your heart feel like it broke a little more in your chest, your hopes sink a little further down into your stomach. It was like there was a wall - one you hadn’t much noticed before. And you realise it all then. You didn’t want to go back to him. And when your mind tried to really consider it, there was only one face you could imagine wanting to go back to…

“(Y/N)?”

You hadn’t realised your eyes filling with tears, the kind that you could place bets on falling or disappearing. You hadn’t noticed your hands gripping too tightly onto the cup on the table in front of you. Or the way Sarah looked at you like she’d just watched a piece of your facade crumble away right in front of her.

“I’m sorry, what wa-“ You shake your head and the tears choose to disappear this time, “Is it okay if we head home?”

She frowns a little as is in worry but nods, “Of course, yeah, of course we can.”

Your drink wasn’t gone, the bill not printed, your stomach rumbled in the absence of food - but there was only one thing on your mind. And you’re in the car to go home before you have the chance to think again.

Sarah chooses not to talk on the drive, the light hum of music between you filling the air enough until she pulls into the driveway. But it’s weird. There’s an odd gut feeling when you get out of the car - like an inevitability you hadn’t considered. You suppress it for enough time that the key turns in the lock and Sarah steps into the house, you following behind.

Your eyes flick to it immediately. The space beside the couch, on the floor just below the armrest. Where a half-full duffle bag and a jacket and a pair of shoes should sit. But nothing is there. Your eyes then move to the end table beside the couch - where a phone and a tangled charging cable and a glass of untouched water should sit. But nothing is there. And the couch - sheets folded atop a single pillow in the middle. All traces of him seemingly wiped away.

Sarah looks back at you, setting the shopping bag down onto the counter, and she realises it instantly, “He didn’t tell you?”

“He-“ You clear your throat, shaking your head, “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I’m so sorry (Y/N), I thought you’d know,” She comes back over to you, eyes seeking to find your gaze, “He told me he wasn’t leaving until tonight, so I figured we’d be back before he left. I don’t know wh-“

“He’s just gone?” You half-cough to get the block out of your throat, “He can’t just-“

“Look, he can’t be leaving yet, maybe you could catch him before he goes?” Sarah pushes the car keys into your hands, “Take the truck.”

Your heart sinks and for a moment you rethink it all. Maybe you should let him go. It would be easier. He’d leave now, maybe come back when the baby is born, maybe you’d see him again at Christmas, and again at the baby’s first birthday party, and again and again on these little pocketed trips where you made no attempt to catch up, and instead accepted every inevitability of falling back into each other’s comfort. You’d sneak out and swim at sunset with him again, laugh about the little things that he remembered, and let him leave without a prolonged goodbye. He’d go back to his life and you’d stay in yours.

No.

Not this time, at least.

~~~

You’re not sure where you’re driving to when you first get in the truck, feeling out of place behind the wheel, your head pounding with the focus of getting to a place you had no idea about.

You drive around the road leading from the side of Sarah and John B’s house, winding down until it trails alongside the docks. It forces another snippet back into your memory - one of the hottest days on the island when a killer heatwave had swept over. Rafe had stolen the keys to his father’s speedboat and the two of you had gone out together. You’d gone as far out into the water that half of the fuel would take you and stayed out there all day. It was too hot and you’d overheated almost instantly on the dock of the boat, diminishing your food and drink supply too soon, diving off into the water and staying there until you could come up with a thousand reasons to go back. It was the last time you’d seen Rafe before you moved to college. You’d got back to the dock and an endless string of missed calls from James - telling you that you should’ve been home an hour ago. Rafe had smiled and told you to leave, saying goodbyes weren’t necessary.

That’s when you stop the car. And you get out without overthinking once again, shutting the door behind you. The sound awakens something in the seemingly empty space. And within seconds your eyes divert themselves directly to the barely visible along one of the old docks now half-covered with the overgrowing of reeds. He’s wearing a t-shirt, slightly stretched over the muscles of his back, hanging a little looser around his stomach. Without seeing his face, it could be the old version of himself - younger, less of a shadow of stubble around his jaw, less of that serious adult look about him. But it doesn’t take him long to turn around, as if he can practically feel you from even metres away from him.

“Let me guess, you want me to steal my father’s boat again?” He calls over to you, his words catching a little on the breeze before they reach you.

You don’t have it in you to humour him now - all you could think about was the empty space next to the couch, where his bag should have been. The bag that was now at his feet.

“You thought you were just going to leave?” You return, squinting against the sun to focus on him as you start to walk the length of the dock.

Rafe smiles a little and looks down at his feet, “Goodbyes have never been necessary.”

“Don’t give me that shit,” You jab back, stopping on the dock still further from him.

Your eyes focus on the wood beneath you - 18 planks between the two of you, feeling like it was now impossible to be any closer.

“Why were you going to go?” You swallow the lump in your throat, “Wh- why weren’t you going to tell me?”

He scratches a hand at the back of his head, his eyes not meeting yours, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“Say goodbye.”

“(Y/N),” Rafe winces, his eyes finally lifting to they meet yours.

“Look Rafe I-“

“I’m going back to New York,” He interjects, “My flight is today, I’m going back. You’ll be here and I’ll be there. Same as always.”

You swallow every word you’d thought of saying to him on the drive over, every thought that had cycled through your brain of how he would respond. None of that seemed to matter anymore.

“We’ll be five hundred miles away from each other again. It’s great being back here but my life isn’t in the Outer Banks anymore. I know you’re here again, but this place isn’t for me, there’s nothing for me here, I don’t want to stay here,” He clenches his jaw, “I-“

“You’re going,” You state coldly, wrapping your arms around yourself, “I get it. I just wanted you to say goodbye.”

Rafe swallows the lump in his throat, watching the way your face shifts away from him, how you practically recoil away. He’d never seen you respond like that to him, and it boils a sickening feeling in his stomach. He wants to reach out to you, to wrap his arms around you, to tell you to come with him, to tell him he’d stay here - to say anything that would remove every ounce of the hurt he’d just caused.

You keep your eyes on the planks between you, the eighteen spaces feeling further apart than ever now. This place isn’t for me. There’s nothing for me here. Is that really what he thought? Did he think of himself as the big shot city guy and you as the girl that had just come home to nothing? Was that all he could ever really think of you? Was that what he’d been thinking this entire week; that he’d outgrown you?

“You better get going if you want to make it to your flight in time,” You point out, “Wouldn’t want to miss it.”

You can feel his eyes on you and you glance up to find them glassy as he watches you, his hair falling down just slightly and casting shadows over his forehead. He swallows and it bobs his adam’s apple in his throat.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, I guess I should,” He glances around his space and picks up the bag beside his ankles, shifting his grip around the handle, “(Y/N)…”

You keep your eyes on him and the focused gaze makes both of you silent. It’s like a thousand unspoken words float in the air between you, catching on the hot air and whisking away as soon as the breeze returns to cool them down. Rafe had been there when you needed him, like he always was. And when you’d first left for college, with James and a new future planned, you hadn’t thought about needing Rafe. When you’d come home, it was like a tiny battery charge if you got to see him - pieces of your youth returning. But you were living separate lives. And, now, as Rafe was leaving again, you felt like you still needed him.

That couldn’t be how things were. He couldn’t only exist in your space when you needed him. And that would be something you’d have to figure out on your own.

“Have a safe flight,” You smile, wrapping your arms around yourself and turning around.

You walk and you don’t look back, as much as each step tries to convince you to. You don’t. You can’t.

Part of you wants to hear his steps on the planks behind you, the sound of the bag thudding against the wood, the sound of him breathless, turning you around.

But he doesn’t.

You get further away and the air seems to get cooler, less dense. There’s a weight on your chest that doesn’t let up, but you force yourself to breathe in and breathe out once, twice, three times. If you could breathe without him, you’d be fine. If you could walk without him, you’d be fine. And, piece by piece, those things would all become possible, all without him.

~~~

It had been two weeks since Rafe had left. He hadn’t texted, though you’d overheard from Sarah that he’d landed safely and that he’d be back again in a few months.

The past two weeks had been full of doing things on your own, for yourself. And it had been flooded with realisation, decisions you wouldn’t have made before.

“What are you talking about? What do you mean?”

Sarah’s sat across from you next to John B, both of them dumbfounded at your announcement. He was sat back in his chair with his arms folded, her leaning forward with her hands on the kitchen counter in front of her, as if steadying herself.

“I’m moving to London,” You repeat, more sure of yourself than you’d been in a long time.

“I don’t- I don’t understand,” She shakes her head, “You’re just going?”

“What about the logistics of everything?” John B frowns, “Isn’t there stuff you have to think about with this?”

“Well, it’s only short term for now, so I could get all the visa stuff sorted just on short term, I’m moving into an Air BnB for the time being, and then I’ll decide if I want to move somewhere more permanent. But, right now, I just know I need to go,” You nod assertively, “And, you know, what’s wrong with London?”

“How long will you be gone for?” Sarah frowns, “It’s going to be so weird not having you here.”

“I know, but it’s only a flight away, right?” You encourage, “I’ll come back, I promise.”

“Why do you want to leave?” John B asks, looking at you as if it were a stranger in front of him.

“I’ve had my entire life planned out since I was like seventeen. I fell in love with James, I moved away with him, I graduated with him, I moved back here with him, everything in my life has been so determined. And he took that from me. And ever since then I’d been using the excuse of Rafe being here to stop me from actually admitting to anything that had happened,” You swallow the lump in your throat, “Rafe is important to me, and he always will be. But I can’t rely on him to piece me back together. And I can’t rely on you guys either. So, I need just a few months. Just to reset.”

Sarah takes a deep breath like she is finally accepting what you’ve said, “Okay, so you’re going to London. And you’re going to come back?”

“I’ll come back,” You encourage, “I just can’t be here.”

———

Taglist: @viianey @baby19sthings @tsokaro @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @starkeylover

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wildbluesorbit · 4 months

Text

Wounded || JTK

…a continuation of London

18+MDNI

Paring: [drunk]asshole! Jakexreader(f)

LONDON SERIES MATERPOST

A/N: Howdy, back with more asshole Jake today! I know the last part took a very sharp turn but I promise I am telling a story. It's darkest just before dawn and all that. might have even wrote in a little surprise This piece is inspired by this little diddy, please give it a listen as there are so many lyrical references. Everyone say thank you @tommie-gvf for editing! I hope y’all enjoy this chapter; I am very open to criticism so pretty please let me know what you think!

Summary || Time heals all wounds, yet a year’s passing begs the question if Jake and you are just too broken to ever put the pieces back together.

Content Warnings || toxic relationship, agoraphobia, haphephobia, mentions of nightmares, alcoholic consumption and inebriation, anger, brief mentions of physical aggression and bodily harm, verbal aggression, unsolicited touched, allusions to depressive episodes, allusions to sexual assault, [non-aggressive] attempted forced entry into readers bedroom

*disclaimer: I am in no way a mental health expert and google research can only get me so far*

Word Count || 4.8k+

You swear if the door could speak, it would mock you as you swarm around it. Like an impending predator ready to pounce on its victim; except that you aren’t and it isn’t. You simply stare at the ominous mass on hinges intent on boring a hole through the wood. For just maybe tonight, life would pour in through a glare-induced breach. For once, maybe the world would be kind and come to you.

You are drawn from your reverie by Jake calling your name, “It's okay, we don’t have to go.”

Already aware of the panic-induced rushing heat, you pull your insulative hair back from your flushing face.

You foolishly attempt to speak your courage-feasting fear out of existence, “Oh no, we’re going and we’re going to have a great time!”

Jake, unconvinced, sleepily rubs his eyes and begins to slip off his well-loved vans at their perpetual displacement by the door.

“Really, it's fine, I’d rather stay in tonight anyways,” he huffs.

You’re fidgeting alternates from your hair to the cold metal locks of the door, “Why are you taking off your shoes? Let's go!”

He rests his tenacious hands on your shoulders as he starts to help you shimmy your coat off, “There’s no deadline, angel. It’s okay to not be ready. Don’t push.”

“I want to go out, I promise you,” childish pules make their way through your chest.

You restrain yourself from stomping your feet like a restive toddler and blink away the unwelcome tears piercing the back of your eyes.

“I know,” Jake’s voice echoes throughout the empty foyer as he hangs up your jacket, “but there’s no rush, I promise you too.”

It has been a year since London and Jake invited you to live in Nashville with him and Josh. At first, you had agreed only if you could help around the house just until you got back on your feet, but after a few weeks it had become prodigiously clear nothing beyond this point would be that painless.

As soon as you made home in Nashville, you found yourself struggling to keep up with the world booming just beyond your bedroom. The look on Jake’s face when you were diagnosed with mild cases of haphephobia and agoraphobia almost made you dread you hadn’t stayed to wither away in London. On good days you managed a hug or even a car ride to the store but it was seldom, and only ever accompanied by Jake. You remained constant with your therapy and enervated yourself trying to break through life’s new barricades, but it proved a cheap fuel to get you through most days.

You have lost count of the amount of nights you got ready for an evening out with Jake, in which he had to go on without you because you could not bring yourself to step beyond that petrifying threshold. So just like the many lost evenings before, you insist he go without you and, like always, you’d be waiting for him when he comes back.

“Fine, but not because you told me so,” you tease, “and put your shoes back on. You know the rules!”

If you couldn’t go out, you made certain you didn’t drag anyone else down with you. And if you are trapped inside, you make sure your weight is being pulled within.

As soon as it was clear you wouldn’t be leaving the house for a while you hunted for work you could perform from the comfort of your bed as a means to not sit idly with the demons trapped inside with you. Since you already had a business degree you landed on being a virtual accountant. But when you had free time you kept the Kiszka residence running smoothly.

Of course, they already had assistants and maids for domestic upkeep of the house and mostly everything was paid for, but you took initiative in commandeering any duties that slipped through those cracks. From taking care of plants and pets to ordering groceries, and even cooking some nights; responsibilities the twins claimed they wanted for themselves in an effort to stay grounded. Yet whether they accept it or not, they are rockstars with no time for such mundane tasks.

The twins always make sure you know how much they appreciate you. You’d never admit it, but sometimes flowers or a cheesy note here and there is a small token that pulls you through the day.

Danny and Sam also visit you when they have a chance. The boys always set aside a few minutes to catch up when they were at the house on a work call. Sometimes they’d take turns stopping by with lunch, checking in on your progress. They’d always tell you they miss you and encourage you to go out. Although, constantly being abraded by the same words can be challenging at times you never objected; you found their strategy endearing. It makes you feel like a princess; except for the days it made you sorely feel like a prisoner.

Yet no matter what the other boys do, Jake is still the pinnacle of it all. The only one who understands the gravity of your experience, as he was there to witness it. He is the only one you feel you can talk to on the rare occasion you do want to talk about it. The only one who recognizes why you are the way you are and knows the tracks your mind runs on. The only one who truly knows how to take care of you when you don’t. Which means he is also aware you hadn’t found the mental capacity to figure out how the two of you fit into each other's lives.

Before the arrival of any real contemplation or diagnostics, you had tried a few times to rekindle the embers of your once-raging flame, but somehow everything always got put on hold or fizzled out. Some nights would consume you two. You’d imagine his pink plush pout everywhere and your touch seemed to send electricity through the man, but you always tapped out, neither of you addressing it. A few times you clung to the concept of Jake and you, charging through the strain of wanting to pull back and he was the one who would call it, consoling you when you hadn’t even registered you had started to cry or hyperventilate. That’s when you noticed Jake redirecting his time and energy into being your friend first and foremost.

However, he never holds it against you as most nights are spent in your bed anyway. Sometimes he comes in to watch TV, read, listen to music, or just talk until he falls asleep next to you. Seldom do you pursue Jake’s touch, but there is an unbounded stillness about these nights; a safeness enabled by his giggles even breathing so close. These nights are your favorite, submitted to memory as long as fate will allow.

But more often than not, Jake’s nights start in his bed and journey to yours, pursuing his self-assigned task of soothing you back to sleep after a nasty nightmare would goad you awake.

You once asked him how he always knows; to which you immediately regretted as he responded sometimes he intuitively felt compelled to check on you. While other times you could be heard from down the hall; yet you secretly suspect he sometimes sneaks into your room to avoid nightmares of his own. Nevertheless, the last thing you ever wanted to become was Jake’s babysitting project, so you always make an effort to stay away from the phone when he is on the road.

Days Jake was away proved bearable as many tasks around the house demanded your undivided attention. Yet evenings, when you stalled your mind long enough to fall asleep became excruciating. He’d usually check in after a show or drinks but the prowling monsters always came out of hiding as soon as he hung up. You almost always ended up sneaking into Jake’s bed, seeking comfort in the little strands of him living in his bedroom. You’d never confessed this though.

Jake reels you from where you had been tucked away in your thoughts, “Danny’s here! Last chance to rescue me from this trainwreck and hog me all to yourself?”

He bats his long eyelashes at you and nods optimistically.

“Have fun,” you giggle, shutting his whole pleading puppy dog act down.

He grants you a bashful wave goodbye as you implore him to carry on his evening, as you would feel terrible if he stayed home just because you couldn’t leave. He agrees while perusing your eyes like he does every time before he parts from you.

You had learned to read this signature appraisal as Jake’s silent survey as to whether he should actually leave or not. He never wanted to see you struggle to ask for something you needed if he found he could anticipate it. Though, It is always accompanied by one other departing look that you could never decipher.

That is until one day, compelled by your confusion that always follows, he told you he was fighting the urge to kiss you goodbye. He said it not to pressure you or coerce you into reciprocation, but just to be honest with you about what place you hold in his eyes.

Jake whines one more time before you assure him he has no choice, “Do I have to go?!”

You throw your hands in the air in an exaggerated dusting motion and feign a pestered grunt, “Shoo! Shoo!”

He notifies you he will be right back and his ringer is on if you need anything. You almost envy how gracefully Jake parts from you and vanishes through the door frame with no trouble at all.

— JAKE —

The music is too loud. The lights are too bright. The bar is far too crowded. The company your brothers force on you is nauseatingly obnoxious. You are decidedly miserable. You want nothing more than to crawl inside a cab that hauls you back to her bed. You’ve wanted nothing more for the past year.

Instead, you endure it. Lead by example and don’t be an enabler. Your only comforting thought is that you don’t have to do it sober. You wash down your despair with the rest of your numbing elixir.

Reluctantly, you are pulled from your dissociation, “Jake?!”

You look up from your empty glass, flocking eyes of anticipation indicating they’ve reached a part of the conversation that requires your participation. You simply apologize and signal the waitress for a refill.

You feel your brother’s elbow gently prod against your rib cage, “What’s up?”

Josh means well, asking the question discreetly, but it still brings the pre-existing conversation to a halt. You wave him off, poorly portraying placidity. He doesn’t buy it, along with everyone else.

A girl you had met maybe a handful of times, you just can’t seem to recall her name at the moment, sat across the table from you. She had been tagging along recently and was particularly fond of Sam. You are clueless as to what purpose her next words serve or why they find you the way they do, just that she is illogically brazen as you don’t really know a thing about her and vice versa.

The nameless girl snickers unprompted, “Still couldn’t get your little puppy out of her cage, huh?”

The startling amount of intimate knowledge this stranger possesses is nearly paralyzing. Your eyes narrow in on a wide-eyed Sam.

Sam’s hands flail about as if he is looking to materialize a shield out of thin air to hide behind and panickedly begins to babble, “Wait- I didn’t tell- She wasn’t supposed to- She was eavesdropping!”

“I heard she won’t even let you pet her,” she smugly clicks her tongue.

All at once, the same raging fire that blazed within you that night in London lends itself to you once again. Painfully flickering in and out every so often, it never returns this lucid.

That same destructive flame that scorched any and all sense of restraint to a crisp that night, roaring louder in your ears than any other voice of reason. The same seething blind red that found Hunter beaten beyond recognition, the only identifiable weapon being your hands bloodied and bruised and split.

Like clouds catch the dancing auburn flare of a beaming bonfire, you question whether your face is a glowing ember reflecting your own raging flame. You aren’t certain you could say or do anything without completely losing your shit in this very bar.

Instead of fuming, you only finish your drink in an eerily serene manner. The only indication of rage being your knuckles wrapped white around your glass, your control alarmingly intact by a quickly unraveling thread.

You walk over to the bar to close out your tab. You refuse to give into the red haze as your brothers call after you, thoughtlessly beseeching for you to remain present and what that would mean for you.

The bell above the door rings through your ears and the crisp chill breeze of night hits your face as you step through the exit, half extinguishing the fire lit by some loose-tongued stranger.

You know you should go home but the last thing you want to do is further burden her in your short-fused state. You had been diligently adamant in keeping this monster carefully caged in her presence and weren’t about to let your hard work be tossed aside by some prick with a loud mouth. You can pretend to play it off, act like there is nothing wrong but that wouldn’t be fair to the both of you. She would see right through you.

You decide you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here. You nuzzle into the warmth of your jacket as you wait for your noble rescue, via Uber.

— YOU —

You vacillate between consciousness and void as your phone begins buzzing. Half asleep, you let it ring until the din resumes, fully pulling you from slumber. The unnaturally bright screen pierces through the dark room and Danny’s contact photo stings your adjusting eyes.

You force your slumber-frozen vocal cords to rasp out, “Hello?”

Danny’s tender voice sounds through the line, “Hey, sorry to wake you, hun. I just wanted to make sure Jake made it home okay?”

Still groggy from sleep, the question riddles you, “What? I haven’t heard him come through. He’s not with you?”

“Shit- He’s not at the house and he’s not answering his phone,” he mutters to someone on the other end.

Panic sets in and forces you to spring upwards, “Danny? What’s going on? Where’s Jake?”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” his uneasy tone and evasion of your question do little to console you.

“Daniel-,” you don’t get the chance to finish before you hear Jake stomping up the staircase.

“He’s right here, Danny, goodnight,” you rashly exhale the update before hanging up the phone and tossing it on the bed, of which you’ve already vacated and are headed for the stairs.

You rush out of your room to see a sloppily inebriated Jake oozing up the steps. You swiftly plod down the incline till you reach the same level as the teetering drunk, intent on assisting him in his expedition to bed.

You frantically begin to ramble off questions, “What happened? Where were you? Are you okay?”

You pet the frizzy hair away from his face and into a ponytail. Taking care of Jake suffocates any hesitation from his heavy touch as you throw his arm closest to you over your shoulder and place your hands around his waist for balance, eliciting a lazy giggle from him.

“They cut me’off,” he slurs, “can you b’lieve that?”

You roll your eyes and mutter under your breath, “I can actually.”

Once he makes it atop the staircase he dwells there. You keep moving forward to allude him to follow but he instead crumbles into you.

Jake plops his head heavy onto your shoulder and nuzzles into your neck. His hands follow, wrapping around the dip of your waist to keep balance. It has been nearly a year since you last felt the weight of his warm skin press into you. The pungent smell of liquor offends your nostrils as his warm, heavy, drunk breaths tickling your neck become one of irrational remorse.

Your first instinct to peel him off of you roars throughout every nerve ending of your body, but you don’t. After all he's done, Jake needs you now. Even if it's only to help get him to bed, you don’t mind being wildly uncomfortable for a few minutes.

“I’m sor- I’m sorry, I just- then she said- I didn’t wanna ‘pset you- I’m so sorry- I just miss you, princess,” he babbles whined apologies into your clavicle, beginning to unnerve you.

You grunt trying to pull his limbs back into motion, “What are you talking about, Jake? Are you okay? What happened?”

He resumes staggering forward on his own accord, even wasted he is much stronger than you.

He giggles at your question, completely amnesic to his previous mystery guilt, “Am I O-kay? I’m doing… great! It’s you- Are ya’ O-kay?”

You answer the question simply to appease Jake and keep him mobile, “I’m doing just fine, let’s get you to bed.”

Together the two of you pad down the dark hallway. You make it in front of his bedroom door just before his fluctuating footsteps cease yet again.

He yanks his arms from your grasp in indignation, “Don’t lie to me! You aren’t- I know you aren’t!”

Frustration creeps in, and you take a deep breath. You return his hands to your own and soothingly run your thumbs along his knuckles. You patiently explain that he has had too much to drink and will feel better after water, pain relievers, and sleep. All you want is to help him get some rest. Yet he still refuses to move, a swaying brick wall.

“You know the guy who put his hands on you has got nothing to do with me,” he aimlessly blurts out.

You wince, throwing your head up to the ceiling. This is the last thing you want to discuss, especially with an intoxicated toddler of a man.

You and Jake rarely talk about what happened that night. You’ve addressed it maybe once or twice when he approached you about seeing a therapist or when you seldom tell him what happens in your nightmare.

You drop his hands to mask your face with your own, struggling to remain in place and not flee from his sight, “Jake-”

The fast manner in which Jake summons sobriety in his next words is almost unsettling, still inebriated but much less so. Enough to have a coherent conversation now. Just enough to wage war with a cleverly choreographed army of words without any real contemplation or inhibition.

He curtly hiccups, “Don’t you think you’ve carried this weight way too far?”

He speaks as if you have any say in the matter. As if you are choosing to remain prisoner to the shadows in your mind. As if choking on paralytic terror and trauma day and night is the path of least resistance. You draw back from Jake in one large clarifying step and place your hands under your arms to conceal their tremors.

You do your very best to plant your rising tone, “I don’t know what you want from me, Jake?”

“I want you,” he begins to storm, his hands sloppily flailing about to gesture his points, “I want your laugh and I want your smile. I want to knock ‘em down like we used to, you know? I want to kiss you and touch you. God only knows how much I would love you if you’d let me!”

You know he is only drunkenly rambling but it doesn’t dull the gashes his words leave. How could he insult you to think you couldn’t possibly feel the same? That you don’t ache for times the two of you used to parade through the night, wading through trouble and chaos, spontaneity as your only navigation. How you tear yourself apart knowing you’re the reason it's all recollection and not an existing reality?

You routinely dwell on the former enamoring parts of you. You are a phantom. A mere fragment. A poor cover of an adored original. The waste of a girl everyone antecedently loved, including you. Only a spectator stuck behind a glass, forced to look in on your life being fucked up by some imposterous variation of you. Every element you loved about yourself had been stolen from you.

You raise your defenses, “You don’t think I want that too?! I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this! It's never been this complicated, Jake.”

Your appeal to his empathy goes void as he further scrutinizes you, “So what? You’re the only one who is recovering from that night?! And I'm just supposed to be cool with you doing nothing? You want me to be okay with you neglecting yourself? Let you walk around like you’re some wounded thing?!”

He dissects you, rendering you raw and helpless. You aren’t sure how to reason with him so you remain still, renouncing the idea of a clever rebuttal. He, a hostile beast, you don't want to spook. Yet it only seems to reload his fire.

Almost repulsed by your lack of refutation, he reboots his one-sided yelling match, “You used to speak so easy, and now it’s like you're afraid to talk to me! When are you going to stop being so apathetic towards this and face your demons?! When are you going to come around again? You used to be this surge of energy- We all miss you- I miss you!”

His words prick tears from your eyes but you fight them, swallowing the lump of self-pity in your throat.

You poorly return fire with volume in an attempt to conceive a sob, “You just- you don’t get it, Jake!”

Jake thrusts his head back in a growl. The sudden shift in his weight causes him to fumble backward, your hands automatically gravitating to his rescue in fear he might trip over his own footing. But you cross your hands back into your sides as soon as he catches himself, not even aware of his staggering he proceeds in his reprimand.

“I don’t need to get it,” he mimics your weak excuse of a defense, “I just need you to be okay! I don’t expect you to be fine right now or even the same. I just want to know that you will be okay and I have yet to see any indication. You won’t leave this house and the only people you socialize with are my brothers and I. I’m convinced you don't want to grow! I mean- as soon as you start doing well again you shut yourself in your room, is this going to be the rest of our fucking lives?”

You let your mouth hurl words without any ideation of consequence, “I’m not one of your screaming fuck-dumb fan girls, Jake. I don't owe you a thing and you don’t get to speak to me this way. And I don’t expect you to understand but don’t worry, I won’t crowd you anymore. You’ve made it clear I’ve overstayed my welcome so I’ll be out the door.”

You press into the balls of your feet now, completely committed to bolting from any further confrontation but his next words make it nearly impossible to ignore.

His impudence is a cruel dagger, “Yeah, you know you have to actually leave the house first?”

“A colossal fuck you, Jacob,” you snarl.

“Just another thing you have yet to do,” he ruthlessly twists the knife yet again.

All emotion drains from your face completely paralyzed by his venom. You're convinced all the oxygen in your lungs has deserted your body, leaving you gasping and choking for any response. Not even able to make eye contact with him, your eyes swirl around the room; half an attempt to search for some indication this is all a dream, half an attempt to roll back the oncoming tears.

You are sick and tired of crying.

The one person you have trusted with your tears is now the one pouring them back into your crying eyes. Weaponizing your drops, he now trains the blade to your throat.

You hum a tune of uncertainty to cover the lump in your throat as you subconsciously slide your feet backward against the hardwood floor, “Um- Ja- I- You’re drunk, Jake, get some rest, okay?”

You can’t possibly stomach being angry with him any longer. You’ve had enough rage and hate for a lifetime. You don’t want to vilify or associate any of it with the man in front of you.

Though he’s not perfect, you couldn’t imagine asking for more. Jake has been so good to you in a season full of so many tears, panic attacks, mood swings, outbursts, meltdowns, isolation episodes, sleepless and nightmare-ridden nights. He is always there to make sure you are eating, and getting out of bed, and showering, and taking proper care of yourself. He is the one to organize your ground on days you’ve been so numb and dissociated you nearly forgot how to speak. He’s been there to take care of you when the day is so overwhelmingly amplified and intrusive it makes you physically ill.

Jake had placed his heart in being attentive to the little things. He knows when you are holding your breath. He sees when you are avoiding your reflection. He can sense when you are fighting to complete basic tasks. He recognizes when you put effort into something you have been struggling with. Jake makes sure to nurture signs of growth as they come but is always there to gather you when you relapse. He’s always been there to remind you of who you are and how much you are loved.

This is the first time he’s lost his patience with you and he isn’t even in his right mind.

More than earned your forgiveness, Jake is the reason you can still forgive. The reason you aren’t as bitter and angry at the world as you’re justified to be.

Yes, you decide that he more than deserves exoneration. Because even though it feels as if it’s millennia away, when you’re one day reunited with your smile, it will be Jake who brings it back to you. A sculptor slowly chiseling away at stone until his piece is restored to the beauty that lives in his memory.

And though you let his trespasses go you can’t save yourself from the wounds his words have reopened. You scrunch your lips to the side to conceal their quiver.

“Goodnight, Jake, sleep well,” your words come out a whisper in an effort to not let your voice break.

Grief commandeers your limbs, immediately puppetting you on your heels and towards your bedroom.

“Where are you going? Wait- no- I’m sorry- I didn’t- fuck,” Jake’s aggression seems to wilt away as he is swallowed whole by his own words, still thick in the air.

Jake’s pity would be the final nail in your coffin.

The padding of your feet against the cold floor hastens as you hear Jake pursuing behind you. You gracefully gap your door open just enough to float through the sliver and lock it behind you in time to hear Jake's foot and forehead clumsily thud against the wood. You step away from the door as he jiggles the rigid knob to realize it is no use.

“I’m sorry that was-,” you can hear him running his fingers along the ridges of the door as he is trying to compose himself, “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean it- I just- please open the door?”

You only ever want to tell Jake yes, but what you need now is space. Denial of his plea nearly shatters you across the floor.

“Please- I’m just- I’m so sorry,” you’d never heard him sound so small.

He never begs like this so you know he is still drunk. You lazily crawl into your bed deciding it is not a good idea to open the door. More mumbled apologies beg their way through the wood and you bury your head under your blanket to drown out the temptation.

Jake turns his back to the barricade and slides down against it till he reaches the floor, a subtle plop as he takes a seat. His prayers and repentance flicker out until you realize he’s talked himself to sleep against your door.

You finally let your feverish tears fall till they rinse you of your consciousness.

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starksbabie · 3 months

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The Ink That Binds Us - Chapter 5

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Summary: In the weeks following your heat Roy has been keeping Gator extra busy, so you're missing your Alpha. Gator takes it upon himself to make sure you know he'd do anything for you, give you anything you want because you are his.

Tags/Warnings: Soulmates AU, A/B/O, smut, 18+ mdni, soulmates have matching tattoos, Gator Tillman (he’s his own warning). p in v, creampie, oral (fem receiving), breeding kink, reader takes a pregnancy test, use of pet names.

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: It's here! Sorry for the delay I have been wrapped up in a Prince Steve AU so be on the lookout for that coming soon!

Once again, you woke up alone in your nest. It has been two weeks since your heat, and you’ve barely seen your new mate.

Gator slinks out of bed before dawn, pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder before he goes, and does not return until long after dark if he returns at all.

Sometimes he’s been opting to stay at his father’s ranch since most of his belongings still reside there, and it leaves him closer to be at Roy’s beck and call.

You climb out of bed to begin your day, heading to the kitchen and wondering if Gator even made it home last night.

Blossom 🌸 8:02 am: I miss you. The nest is beginning to smell wrong. Like you’re missing.

His reply comes just a few minutes later.

Gator 🐊 8:09 am: Dad’s got a lot going on so I have to be in charge for a while. I’ll be home for dinner tonight. I promise.

You smile and bounce on the balls of your feet looking around the kitchen, you’re going to make the best dinner you can, your alpha’s been working hard. He deserves this.

Gator pulls into the drive long after dark. He’s absolutely, overwhelmingly, exhausted, but he’s surprised to see lights still on in the house. Usually, you’ve been asleep for hours by this point. That’s when he remembers. He promised to be home for dinner.

“Shit.” He curses under his breath.

He hops out of the truck and quickly walks up the path, jumping the stairs before letting himself in.

What he finds there nearly breaks his heart.

You’re lying on the couch, wearing his favorite dress, it’s obvious you fell asleep waiting on him.

And he can smell fresh-baked oatmeal-raisin cookies, and steak and potatoes. He knows you must have worked hard all day for him and he couldn’t even show up when he said he would.

‘Deserves better’ his alpha snaps from the back of his mind.

He pushes that down, walks over to the couch kneels, and softly runs his hand over your hair.

“Blossom, wake up, baby.” He mumbles, gently shaking you.

“Hmm?” You groan softly, waking up.

You blink up at him, your eyes half-lidded and tired.

“You’re home,” you smile sleepily, “I missed you.”

You sit up and wrap your arms around his neck pulling him close. He buries his face in your neck as he climbs up onto the couch with you, lying down on top of you, inhaling your scent.

“Missed you too, Omega. M’sorry, I’m late.”

You gently run your fingers through his hair, softening the slicked-back locks into the soft tendrils you love.

“S’okay-“ you begin.

“No, it’s not. It’s not okay. Fuck…” he groans softly, arguing with his Alpha.

You hold him for a long moment. Letting him gently crush you into the couch cushions.

“I’ve been a shit Alpha. You deserve someone who takes care of you. Who takes you out on dates? Who is good to you? Not me… not this fuck up.” He mumbles into your neck.

“Gator, look at me.” You say softly.

He refuses, sinking further into your scent and his self-doubt.

You sink your fingers into his hair and gently tug at the roots.

“Gator Tillman. Look at me.” You say, using the sternest tone he’s ever heard from you.

He raises his head and looks at you, a little perplexed by that tone.

“You are not a shit Alpha, and I never want to hear those words ever again. You’re my Alpha. Mine. I don’t care about going out on dates, and you’re very good to me.” You say, looking directly into his eyes, refusing to be the one to look away first.

He leans in and rests his forehead against yours, basking in your words, for a moment.

“But what about-“

“Gator, I swear,” you say, effectively cutting him off.

He lets out a soft little laugh.

“Don’t go turning into a brat now.” He says softly, brushing the tip of his nose against yours.

“Then don’t act like a knothead.” You mumble softly, spreading your legs so he can slot between them.

The two of you fit together like puzzle pieces, completing one another as he presses his lips against yours in a slow, gentle drag, his chapped lips against your pillow-soft ones.

You pull away and press a small, soft kiss on his head.

“My Alpha, perfect for me.” You whisper against his skin.

He wraps his arms around you and buries his face back into the crook of your neck, softly kissing your mating mark as he falls asleep.

You hold him close and close your eyes as well, letting yourself relax and be lulled into sleep. Comforted by your Alpha.

You wake up the next morning and groan softly, stiff from having slept on the couch but feeling more at peace and well-rested than you have in days.

You softly card your fingers through Gator’s soft hair, relishing the sleepy sounds he makes as he wakes up.

“Good morning, handsome.” You whisper.

“Mornin’ Blossom.” He mumbles, his voice still thick with sleep.

You smile, you relish this, this softness, that no one else gets to be privy to. Something that is only between the two of you.

“You want me to make ya some breakfast before your shift?” You ask, as you softly run your hand up and down his spine, unable to keep your hands off him.

He relaxes into you a little more.

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all, handsome. C’mon. Get up. You get ready, and I’ll fix you something to eat.” You kiss his cheek before dropping your arms from around him.

He rolls off the couch, less than gracefully, before popping up and helping you stand.

He drops a kiss to the top of your head, before heading off to the shower.

You step into the kitchen and begin to fix him some breakfast.

Eggs, toast, bacon. Doing your very best to have it all finished at the same time.

Gator steps into the kitchen, hair slicked back, holster around his thigh, and the rest of his gear situated just right.

You both sit to eat, and you watch as he devours his food, as always. Light conversation about plans for the day.

As per usual, Gator can’t tell you much about anything. You try to not let it bother you. Even though it does.

You hold onto his vest as he kisses you hard before he leaves. His tongue slid alongside yours, his hands squeezing your hips, pulling you flush against him, making sure you’ll think about nothing but him all day long.

After your shift at the diner, you stop at the pharmacy to pick up a few things. You walk past the pads and tampons and pause. You do the mental math and your eyes go a little wide.

Your hand instinctually rests on your lower belly.

“Oh my god…” you bite your lip and glance at the tests next to you. You grab one and toss it in your basket before you can think too hard about it.

Once you get home, you sit in the bathroom on top of the closed toilet lid and stare at the package.

“This is silly… it was one heat. There’s no way…” you toss the test into the drawer and head back into the living room to watch some mindless television.

However, it’s like the test is mocking you from the other room.

Soon you find yourself back in the bathroom, the foil ripped open, and you take the test. You sit on the floor with the test on the edge of the tub as you wait for the results.

Your hand once again goes to rest on your lower belly.

“You’re going to be so loved…” you smile softly.

A few minutes later you lift the test and it’s like a rock develops where your heart should be.

Only one line.

Negative.

“Oh.”

You suddenly feel so silly and stupid for your behavior. You quickly toss everything in the trash bin as your eyes well with tears.

You’re not even sure why you’re so upset. It’s not even something you were really thinking about, but now that it’s not happening you’re crushed.

You move to the bedroom and crawl into your next hiding yourself under your blankets as the tears begin to fall. ‘Bad Omega, failure.’ Your omega whispers in the back of your mind. That’s where Gator finds you.

He’d come home expecting to find you in the kitchen making dinner, or at least in the living room watching something on the TV. When he doesn’t see you he begins looking around calling out for you, becoming a little more panicked when you don’t respond.

When he finally finds you buried in your nest he’s concerned.

“Blossom? What’s wrong, Omega?” He sits next to you softly cupping your cheek, his thumb wiping away your tears.

You turn your head away from him hiding yourself from his gaze.

“Don’t. Look at me,” He says, “Omega, what is going on? Talk to me.”

“It’s s-stupid.” You mumble into the sheets

“It’s not stupid if it’s made you this upset. C’mon little one. Tell me what’s wrong.” He says, lifting your chin so he can look at you.

You pause for a long moment looking up at him, thinking about how you want to tell him.

“I took a pregnancy test.” You finally say. The words slipping out easier than you thought they would.

His face lights up, and that joy you see on his face, it kills you. It makes you feel even worse because you know what you have to say next, but he interrupts you before you can get the words out.

“Omega mine. Why would you be upset about that? A baby is amazing.” He smiles and he moves to put his hand on your belly but you know if he touches you there you’ll scream.

“It was negative.” you choke out.

“Oh…” he pauses and lays down pulling you close, letting you rest your head on his chest.

You hold onto him nuzzling your face into his scent gland, calming yourself.

“I didn’t know you wanted a baby so badly.” He whispers.

“Neither did I.” You say, your lips softly brushing against his skin.

He tries to contain the shiver that runs through him at the feeling of your lips on him.

“But I do,” you whisper, “please Alpha?”

He groans and rolls over on top of you pinning you to the mattress.

“You’re killing me, Omega,” He softly rolls his hips against yours as he kisses you, “I’ll give you a pup. Fuck one into this cute belly of yours. Make you a mommy.”

He takes his time, slowly peeling away each layer of clothing. Pressing kisses to every inch of newly revealed skin.

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I’m the luckiest Alpha alive.” He growls as he slips your panties off, and situates himself between your thighs, inhaling deeply.

You blush at his actions, lying back in your nest.

“Fuck, you smell so sweet for me. M’gonna get you nice and wet. So ready to take my cock, okay?” He slowly trails kisses up your inner thigh before burying his face in your cunt, tracing his tongue up and down your slit as his large hands hook under your thighs and settle on your hips.

You gasp softly and close your eyes, settling more into the feelings. The softness of your nest, the roughness of Gator’s hands on your hips, the soft wet sounds of his tongue between your thighs, and the pleasure he brings you.

He begins to softly suck on your clit as you begin to get wetter, he moans and the vibrations cause you to arch your back.

“Good girl, Blossom. That’s right. Grind on my tongue, sweet girl.” He moans again.

You thread your fingers in his hair, tugging lightly as you gasp out his name, the flames of pleasure licking up your spine.

He slips two fingers into your entrance, your wetness making it easy, as he curls them and massages the soft spongy spot he knows drives you insane.

You dig your heels into his back trying to scramble away from him as you reach that precipice. Your Alpha only holds you tighter refusing to let you run from your own pleasure.

You scream out his name as you come apart on his tongue.

He laps up your essence before pulling away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand smirking.

“Fuckin’ delicious, Omega.”

You blush and hide your face in the crook of your elbow.

He grabs your hand and uncovers your face smirking down at you.

“Hey there pretty girl.”

“Hi.” You smile softly looking up at him.

He holds your hands down on either side of your head and kisses you softly as you wrap your legs around his hips, the head of his cock nudging gently against your clit once, twice, before he presses into you.

He groans softly against your lips, “holy shit, Omega… how are you always so fuckin’ tight?”

He gives you a moment to adjust before he begins slowly rolling his hips against yours. Each thrust was measured, slow and deep.

“Feels so good, Alpha. Always feels so good.” You whisper, wrapping your arms around him, clinging to him.

He presses his forehead to yours, taking his time as the pace of his thrusts speeds up, still just as deep, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix each time he presses into the hilt.

“You feel like heaven, my love. I’m gonna give you a baby sweet Omega. Gonna give you everything you want. I promise.” He kisses you deeply as he gets closer, picking up speed as he gets closer.

You gasp softly at his words, “I’m close Alpha, please.”

“I know, Omega. I can feel you squeezing me. I’m almost there. Gonna fill you up. Gonna give you all of me. Fuck… wait for me, baby.” He growls softly.

He holds you close and kisses you deeply the curly hairs at the base of his cock stimulating your clit in just the right way as he grinds his hips into yours.

He thrusts a couple more times as he cums deep inside you, his thick spend painting your inner walls as you gasp and come hard around him.

“That’s right, Omega. Doing so good for me. Taking me so well. Love you so much.” He holds you close as you both come down from your euphoria.

“Love you too, Alpha. Thank you… thank you.”

You press soft kisses everywhere you can reach, keeping your legs up and wrapped around him.

He presses his hand down on your lower belly.

“This is where my pups will grow. Just give it time, Omega mine. Just give it time.”

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#alpha!gator tillman x omega!reader #gator tillman #gator tillman x reader #gator x reader #gator smut #gator fargo #fargo fx #fargo season 5 #fargo s5 #onyx writes things #gator tillman smut #gator tillman x you #gator tillman fic #gator tillman imagine #a/b/o #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o au

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smnthvxe · 2 months

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Chapter 1: The Past Echoes

Chapter 2 , last chapter

Readers point to view

The sun dipped below the horizon in Sumeru, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink as I closed the shop for the evening. The little coffee shop, once just a dream, had become my sanctuary, a place where laughter and the rich aroma of coffee beans filled the air. Yet, amidst the hustle and bustle, my heart harbored a quiet sorrow, a longing for the one who had once been my everything—Kunikuzushi.

Our life together seemed like a distant memory, a fleeting moment of happiness that had slipped through my fingers like grains of sand. I remembered his smile, the way his eyes lit up when he laughed, and the warmth of his touch. But those memories were overshadowed by the pain of his departure, the day he walked away, leaving me with nothing but silence and a heart full of unanswered questions.

"I wonder where you are now," I murmured to the empty room, allowing myself a moment of vulnerability. The walls of the coffee shop, adorned with pictures and trinkets from our travels, echoed back my solitude.

Nights were the hardest, when the world fell silent, and the weight of his absence felt unbearable. I would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, imagining scenarios where he would return, where he would explain why he left and we could start over. But as the dawn broke, reality would set in, and I'd brace myself for another day without him.

One evening, as the final rays of sunlight vanished, leaving the world in twilight, a figure appeared at the door of the coffee shop. My heart skipped a beat, a foolish part of me hoping against hope. But it wasn't him; it never was. Instead, it was a traveler, seeking refuge in the warmth of the shop and a cup of coffee to ease their journey.

"I heard this place serves the best coffee in Sumeru," A blond traveler remarked, breaking the silence.

" Yeah! Yeah! I bet her coffee can make Paimon jerk off all of the pain from that mean-rude-annoying hat guy!?" The little fairy spoke

I chuckled, pouring them a cup. "I hope it does little one."

As they settled down, the blond traveler—known as Aether shared tales of their adventures, of the people they'd met and the wonders they'd seen. And for a brief moment, I allowed their stories to transport me away from my sorrow, to remind me of the joy and beauty in the world. The world he promised to explore.

But as the night drew to a close and Aether thanked me for the hospitality, I was left alone once again with my thoughts. I wondered if Scaramouche ever thought of me, if he ever regretted leaving. The rational part of me knew it was futile to dwell on what could have been, but the heart is seldom ruled by reason.

I busied myself with cleaning up, trying to shake off the thought. "You need to move on," I whispered to myself, a mantra I repeated every day, yet found so hard to practice.

One day, curiosity got the better of me, and I ventured out, seeking any trace of him. I traveled to Inazuma, to the places we had once explored together, hoping to find closure, to finally let go of the past. But instead of peace, I found only echoes of our time together, reminders of the love we shared and the pain of his departure.

As I stood in front of our old home, now abandoned and falling into disrepair, tears filled my eyes. "Why did you leave, Scaramouche? Why did you break us?" I whispered, the questions lingering in the air, unanswered.

I realized then that I might never get the closure I sought, that some wounds take longer to heal, and some questions remain unanswered. But I also understood that I couldn't live in the shadow of his memory forever.

"Oh? Who you might be?"

A voice spoke from behind, i turned around to see a Kitsune-like woman with a shrine dress.

"I was.." you cutted " Visiting something"

"Visiting you mean that house over there? Sorry to say this dear but that house is already abandoned. "

She pointed to our shared home at the nearby hill.

"Yes, I know. I was just- recollecting some old memories"

By that she smirked and I bid my farewell, walking away.

With a heavy heart, I returned to Sumeru, to my coffee shop, my haven. I poured my soul into my work, creating a space filled with warmth and happiness, a stark contrast to the emptiness I felt inside.

As days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, I slowly began to rebuild my life. I found joy in the simple pleasures, in the smiles of my customers, and also I became good friends with Aether, he would often visit my shop to drink coffee and share his adventures with me. My interest perked up as he said something about fighting a false god along with Buer. You were always a fan of sumeru's Archon that's why you choose to move there.

There are some days where I close the shop, drinking bitter coffee (which reminds you of Scaramouche) alone reflecting every moment I have spent with him.

And though I may never fully understand why he left, I've come to accept that some chapters in our lives must come to an end, to make way for new beginnings. So, I continue to move forward, one day at a time, carrying the lessons of the past and the hope for a brighter future.

In the quiet moments, when the world slows down, and I find myself lost in thought, I whisper a silent wish for Scaramouche, wherever he may be. "I hope you've found your peace," I say, letting my words drift into the ether, a final goodbye to a love that once was. But.. If ever he'll come back ...

A/N : hehe kinda rushed lmao

(You may notice some grammatical errors cus yk im kinda writing this and studying for our exam)

#Scaramouche #wanderer #genshin inazuma #genshin imagines #genshin scaramouche #genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact #genshin x you #scaramouche angst #scaramouche x you #wanderer x reader #wanderer genshin #sumeru #genshin angst #kunikuzushi #angst #slow burn #fanfic

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mariaofdoranelle · 2 months

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Look at Us Now - ch. 23

Fic masterlist

I’ve been writing this chapter amidst chaos and I was obsessed while planning this spicy scene. I hope you like it? The writing process wasn’t half as sexy, considering I have terrible flu 🤧

Warnings: NSFW

Words: 2,2k

The groaning creak of Aelin’s rusty window being opened jolted her awake. She shot up in bed, heart racing, only to register Rowan’s hulky figure invading her bedroom.

She threw herself back in bed, relieved and slightly less annoyed. “Alexa, what time is it?”

“You already know you’re late. The time is 6:42 a.m.”

Rowan sighed, finally inside, and closed her squeaky window. “I forgot how sassy your Alexa is.”

Rubbing both eyes, she slowly processed whatever was going on. Yesterday’s fight over Fleetfoot the Dog. Aelin’s late—and depressingly lonely—wine night. Rowan showed up here when she specifically told him not to.

“I took Maisie to Aedion’s, they’re going to the pool.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, shuffling his feet. “We need to talk.”

“Where’s the key I gave you?”

“I didn’t know how you’d feel about me using it now.” After their fight, he meant.

“So you’d rather break into my house through my bedroom window instead?”

Rowan eyed her reading armchair, but decided to pace instead. Aelin could barely pay attention to him, only thinking about how she asked him for time to process the situation, but instead he decided to wake her up right after dawn to talk.

Aelin adjusted her pillows to sit by the headboard. “Did Maisie wake you up early today?”

“I didn’t sleep.”

She ran both hands on her face, trying to recall her last thoughts regarding the doggie situation. If Rowan wanted to make decisions alone rather than considering her opinions as a couple, she could go with it. “I want 50/50 custody of Fleetfoot, same co-parenting arrangement and shared expenses as we do with Maisie. I already made a new expense spreadsheet.”

“So you want the dog?”

“Oh my God.” Aelin leaned her head against the headboard, looking up. “Rowan, this is not about the dog!”

He furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes carefully assessing her, and that’s when she realized he was lost.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to phrase her feelings in the clearest way possible. “If I’m Maisie’s mother, if we’re together, and if you see yourself living with me within the next decade, I don’t understand why you’d get her a dog without talking to me first.”

“Very well.” His body tensed, both hands on his hips. “Another 50/50 custody. That’s what we’re doing, then?”

“Yes. That’s how I deal with things when I ask for time to think and you don’t give it to me.”

He resumed pacing around the room, one hand on his hip while he gesticulated with the other. “Look, I want to give you space, but I can’t sit and do nothing while you rethink our relationship.”

Aelin tilted her head, eyes squinted at him. Now she was the one who was lost. “While I do what?”

Rowan huffed, a hard look aimed at her. “You know…”

“I really don’t.”

“You pushed me away because you didn’t trust me.” Rowan sat on her armchair, eyes narrowed at a random point. She gave him time, knowing he wasn’t great at expressing himself or his feelings. “Now you gave me a second chance, and things are still delicate because I’m still proving myself.”

“Proving yourself…?” Aelin trailed, trying to understand his train of thought.

“That I deserve your second chance.” His voice slowed down as he sensed her confusion. “That you can rely on me in a way you didn’t before.”

Aelin’s mouth opened. And closed. It was a rare feat to make Aelin speechless, but Rowan did it this time. Had he been thinking like that for the past month?

“I was in a very vulnerable place five years ago, and our relationship was too undefined. I barely had the energy to think about something romantic between us, let alone fight for it.” Aelin fiddled with the corner of her blanket, feeling Rowan’s gaze on her, hanging on her every word. She continued, “That’s not the case now. I told you why I pushed you away back then because the situation called for it, but I don’t want to torment you over something you did so long ago.” She sent him a close-lipped, hope-to-be-reassuring smile. “Besides, I already know I can trust you. Did you ever fail with Maisie?”

A bitter chuckle. “Yes. Several times.”

Aelin left her position on her bed to straddle him at the armchair, her chest filled with warmth. “Well, you wouldn’t be a parent if you didn’t.” She combed his hair off his face with her fingers. Her fussy Buzzard, always thinking too much. He’d just started therapy, and Aelin knew it’d be a long process until the worst of that weight fell off his shoulders, but she’d be right there with him the entire time. “Your very chivalrous theory about needing to prove your worth was totally debunked, being Super Dad and all.”

“I was a terrible co-parent to you.”

“Me too.” Aelin put both hands on her hips, eyes squinted at him. “Are you putting me on a trial test?”

“I would never—“

She raised both eyebrows, silently begging him to think this through. Yeah, buddy, it goes both ways, she hoped her face conveyed.

“So, just to be sure, you’re not breaking up with—“

“Gods, Rowan!”

“Alright, alright.”

He held her close, face resting near her neck while he breathed her in. Aelin kissed his head, squeezing him into her embrace. Sometimes, when she’s with Rowan, no amount of touching feels like enough. Right now, she felt like melting and merging their bodies completely so every cell of her body hugs every cell of his. It was so silly, but it did feel like heaven to hear his mocking groans, as if Rowan hated being squished to death.

Aelin grinned down at him, still straddling his lap, and cupped his face with both hands. “You’re mine.”

He kissed her palm. “I’m yours.”

“And you love me,” she said. Not a question.

“To whatever end,” he breathed.

She leaned to kiss him, meeting him halfway. What started as a tender kiss soon turned molten. Rowan’s hands traveled down her torso, hungrily grabbing her, as Aelin ravished his mouth, full of need while grinding down on his lap from how much her body burned for him.

Rowan hooked both hands under her thighs and lifted them up from the armchair, carrying Aelin to her bed. He dropped her in a seating position and caged her with both arms, still standing while pressing their foreheads together.

“You’re mine.” His eyes were glued to hers and so close, she felt the claiming in her bones, her soul.

“I’m yours.” Her answer was as truthful as the throbbing between her thighs—very.

“And you love me.” Such hope and quiet joy in his eyes, beneath all that fierceness.

“To whatever end.” Beaming at him, she radiated with the intensity of that moment and needed to show him how much she meant it.

Rowan kissed her again, dragging the moment until Aelin nipped his lip. He opened his mouth to protest, but when she felt him through his pants, it melted into a hiss.

Aelin dropped to her knees in front of him.

“Baby, you don’t have to—“

He cursed when she pulled her pants down. Aelin kept eye contact while she pumped him, trying to hide a smirk. The words died on his throat, mesmerized by the sight of her face and his cock so close. He held still while she licked the head, but Rowan’s eyes closed, his head lolling back when her tongue ran over his full length.

Aelin knew she didn’t have to but, fuck, she wanted to. She pumped his heavy, veiny length, panting, entranced. How a guy used his cock had always been something she valued more than the member in itself, but it was definitely a flex that her boyfriend came with both traits. Her need to be filled was driving her mad, but Aelin was dying to worship him too.

One more swirl of her tongue and she took him deep inside her mouth, quickly finding a rhythm. Cheeks hollowed, Aelin also worked him by massaging his base and his balls—it was near impossible to swallow all of him, no matter her attempts to deep-throat his cock.

Rowan’s eyes were glued to the way he disappeared into her mouth, and he kept praising her, guiding her head with his fist and hissing when he hit a particular spot near her throat, then again calling her a good girl that sucks his cock so well.

“Fuck, baby.” Rowan thrust into her mouth, and she was growing almost feverish with the sight of him using her for his own pleasure.

One of her hands disappeared between her thighs without interrupting his ministrations, but it only worsened the burning feeling she tried to soothe. A moment later, Rowan cursed at how wet it came back to toy with his balls.

“Baby.” He caressed her jaw, holding her gaze. “Fuck. The things I’m doing to you after this…”

Aelin moaned around his cock, almost losing her rhythm. His hips jerked, making him grip her hair harder.

He growled, “You have no idea.”

˜˜

“Must you tell her everything?” Rowan politely complained, jaw tight.

Aelin gaped. “But she’s our therapist!” Her defensive remark had a slightly higher pitch.

Yrene had her lips pressed tight to hide her amusement. Her job was to meddle in their relationship, but sometimes she chose not to—especially during a small bicker.

The woman cleared her throat. “It looks to me that you both communicated your thoughts and feelings on your own, mid crisis, while shielding your daughter from it." Yrene had a satisfied, close-lipped smile on while she typed on her computer. "That’s impressive progress. In fact, I feel like we’re ready to space out our sessions, so we can gradually transition you two out of therapy.”

Aelin felt a lightness inside, and her grin was almost too much. Hell yes, she was more than ready to cut off some sessions—if she counted her individual ones as well, Aelin saw Yrene way too much.

However, Rowan frowned, not looking convinced. “But we just had a fight.”

Their therapist waved him off. “You will from time to time. The important thing here is to identify when you’re falling into an old pattern, and to revisit conflict management skills when—not if—needed.” Yrene tilted her head, carefully studying Rowan. “But I can wait more to space out sessions if you don’t feel ready yet, even if I’m not discharging you immediately.”

His eyes darted between the two women, unsure.

“Baby, I think we’re good.” Aelin squeezed Rowan’s hands. She worked with a whole different way of looking inside her patients, but she knew how successful this case was.

“We won’t be working on new skills from now on, just maintaining what you already learned,” Yrene added, focused on Rowan. “Besides, I already consider your case successful. Couples don’t often get back together, let alone in a healthy relationship—sometimes, I’m only trying to prevent murder.”

The corner of his mouth quivered, and he squeezed Aelin’s hand back. “Alright, then. How often is it gonna be for now?”

˜˜

“Gods, I feel so spiritually evolved.” Aelin matched her boyfriend’s grin outside Yrene’s office, in the building’s hallway. “Every time a therapist praises me, I feel like lighting incense and doing yoga.”

Rowan hummed, wrapping his arm around her while they waited for the elevator. “Yoga’s nice. We could try it out—“

“Fuck, no. You promised me chocolate cake.”

“I didn’t mean now.” He studied her from the corner of his eye. “Tomorrow?”

“Nope.” Not ever, if she could help it—Aelin doing exercises about balance while having a giant bump that messed her center of gravity up? Scarred her to death. “I have a hip replacement tomorrow. Did you know that performing those is worse than CrossFit?”

“No, it’s not.” Rowan snorted. “You told me they were super easy when you were pregnant with…”

Realization made him lose his words. To Aelin’s defense, it was just a little white lie she told so he wouldn’t lose his mind with worry. Rowan’s eyes widened, and Aelin was saved by the elevator arriving at that exact moment. She hurried past him inside and watched him slowly enter, still staring at her.

The elevator moved, restarting him as well. She shook his head and stood behind her. Noting that they were alone in that metal box, Rowan grabbed her hips with both hands and whispered, “I’m punishing you for that later.”

Aelin shivered with his words fanning against her ear, feeling a whisper of his smirk when she trembled under his fingertips. Slightly pressed against him, she breathed, “I bet you are.”

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#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #throne of glass #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #look at us now #aelin x rowan #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass fanfic

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dreamwritesimagines · 1 year

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Enamored [47] - The End

A.N: And the last chapter❤ I cannot thank you enough for your wonderful support throughout the story my loves, ILYSM ❤ And as always, thank you @theskytraveler for helping me with the chapter and the story❤

Summary: Everyone finds their home, sooner or later.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, mentions of sex, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of pregnancy.

Word Count: 5700

Series Masterlist

The morning of the ball was nothing if not complete chaos.

It felt as if nothing would be completely ready by the time for the ball to start, even though you had basically stayed up until dawn to make sure you hadn’t overlooked anything. You barely had any time to eat or sit down during the day and instead spent the whole time either in the ballroom or in the yard but now that you were looking at the result—

It looked absolutely amazing.

The opposites theme of the yard and the ballroom was impossible to miss. While the yard looked like it was made of chaos and fire, the ballroom seemed almost otherworldly with the waterfall in the middle, white and gold adorning the whole room. The foyer would serve as a transition point between the chaos and the peace –vices and virtues- and it was filled with pastel colors and flowers leading to the ballroom.

You and Lucie had been in your bedroom for almost two hours now. The modiste had worked her expertise yet again, as you could see from the gown you were in. Just as you wanted, it seemed to be the perfect depiction of wrath; blood red and nearly intimidating. The skirts of the gown was slightly wider than the rest, and the top of the bodice matched the thin crown placed on your head; both had sharp and pointy rubies like red shards of glass, gleaming in the candlelight. There was no doubt that your costume alone would be talked about by the ton, seeing how unusual it would appear among the sea of light colored gowns symbolizing virtues.

Well, it was the night for revenge after all.

Speaking of the night, now that you knew for sure Frederick would be captured tonight at the ball –Anthony had presented the papers and the proof to the court earlier today—, you could hardly control yourself. You had been feeling guilty for lying to everyone around you, so when Lucie was finished with your hair and gown, you had sat her down to explain to her what had been happening lately.

“So that’s why we have been fighting,” you finished your story while Lucie gawked at you, still covering her mouth. “Well…feigning fighting that is.”

“You’re jesting.”

You shook your head. “No. I’m sorry that I had to keep it from you Lucie, I couldn’t tell anyone.”

“But all those arguments…”

“It was for the ton to hear about, from the staff. You know how it is.”

“And sleeping apart?”

You nodded in the direction of the door leading to Anthony’s room from yours. “We exchanged rooms when everyone went to sleep.”

“The divorce?”

You waved a hand in the air. “Not happening of course. We’re madly in love, and the mere rumor of it was enough to lure Frederick. It worked better than I expected.”

Lucie let out a laugh and rushed to wrap her arms around you to hug you tight, making you let out a giggle.

“Oh I was so worried!” she said, pulling back. “I’ve never felt happier to be tricked.”

You clasped your hands over hers and sat down on the bed, pulling her to do the same. “Will you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said, shaking her head. “Except for my sleepless nights for worrying about you, that is.”

“Everything is alright,” you assured her. “And I apologize again.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Us, Elias and Cece and my father.”

“No one else?”

“Father told Aunt Lavinia I think,” you said. “Everyone else will know tonight, thankfully. I could no longer bear this deception.”

“God, it must’ve been so hard…”

“It was,” you said. “But it’ll be over tonight. And besides; the season is ending, we’re all going back to the countryside next week so it’ll be even better. I could use a break from London and this whole thing.”

Her smile faded slightly and she stole a look at you, making you tilt your head.

“What is it?”

“My lady, there is something I must tell you,” she said. “I—I didn’t even entertain the possibility because I thought you were unhappy, and I would never leave you alone if you were but…”

You pulled your brows together. “Lucie, I’m happy beyond words. I assure you—and I happen to think this has strengthened the bond Anthony and I have.”

“Yes, and I’m so happy to hear it,” she said. “But I was wondering, since we will go to the countryside after the season is over… After we settle you down in the Aubrey Hall of course, I was wondering if I could have a change of employment?”

You pulled back slightly, your heart doing a painful flip.

“What?”

“I mean now that I know you will be in good hands…”

“Wait Lucie—is this because I had to lie to you?” you asked almost frantically, “I really do apologize and it was never my intention to hurt you, you must believe me—”

“No that’s not the reason at all, it’s a much more pleasant reason actually,” she assured you and you licked your lips.

“What?”

“I wish to have a change of employment because,” she swallowed thickly. “Because I’m in love.”

You gasped, pressing your hands over your chest. “You’re in love?” you repeated. “Oh Lucie, that’s amazing! With whom?”

She paused for a moment and took a deep breath.

“Your cousin.”

You blinked a couple of times and your stomach sank.

“Oh no…” you whispered to yourself. “Lucie, you’re the loveliest person in the entire world but I’m afraid Kenneth is—um—he has someone in mind—”

“It’s not the future Earl of Ashdown,” she cut you off. “It’s Lady Iona and…I’m glad to say that she returns my affections.”

You stared at her for a moment before it dawned on you and your jaw dropped.

“Oh my goodness!” you said before reaching out to hold her hands again, a huge smile pulling at your lips. “Isn’t it the most wonderful feeling in the world Lucie? Falling in love?”

She let out a relieved breath and nodded, blinking back the tears. “It is,” she said. “And you’re not…angry at me for not telling you?”

You shook your head fervently.

“God no!” you said. “I do apologize wholeheartedly though.”

“You apologize?” she asked. “For what?”

“For trying to matchmake you with that jeweler’s son back in Paris,” you said. “And then the chef’s apprentice. And then the—well you understand my point, had I known beforehand I would’ve tried to matchmake you with a lady, or a maid, or oh!” Your head shot up. “Or my modiste back in Paris, she was very beautiful if you ask me— but I suppose it was fate. You were meant to find love in London just like me.”

She let out a happy sob and hugged you tight again.

“Thank you my lady,” she said. “And yes. I suppose I was.”

You pressed a kiss on her cheek and pulled back to look at her better.

“So you wish to go to Scotland to be with Iona?”

“Yes my lady,” she said. “She offered multiple times and I said no but now that I know you’re going to be happy, I was wondering if it would be such a terrible thing to do.”

“It’s the best thing to do,” you said and wiped at your eyes. “I must admit it pains me to even think of being apart from you, but you must follow your heart Lucie. It would be incredibly hypocritical of me to ask for anything otherwise. You found love, so you should be with the one you love.”

She offered you a small smile, blinking back the tears and you took a deep breath.

“But you must promise me you will come to visit as much as possible,” you said. “And I will visit Scotland too, Aunt Lavinia invited me before, and—and it takes a week for the letters to arrive in England from France, and it probably takes less time between here and Scotland, so we will exchange letters all the time.”

She nodded. “I couldn’t bear not knowing what you’re doing.”

“The feeling is mutual,” you said with a smile and sat up straighter. “And now I will tell you what my father and Elias told me before I married Anthony. Before I left Avon House to move here.”

“What is it?”

“No matter who you decide to be with, or for how long,” you said. “My house will be always open to you, and you can come back whenever you wish. No questions asked. Bridgerton House and Aubrey Hall will always be your home, and it will always welcome you whenever you wish it to.”

A sob climbed up her throat and you cupped her cheek.

“And I’m afraid I must put my foot down because it is not up to negotiation,” you said. “You may be employed there and such, but in addition to your salary from there, your salary from me will keep coming to Scotland—”

“My lady, I can’t possibly—”

“I’m not going to hear it Lucie, my decision is final,” you said and offered her a small smile. “My father made sure I was protected in every way before letting me marry, you must simply let me do the same even though it’s in unofficial ways.”

She smiled back at you and sniffled. “Thank you.”

You wiped at your eyes and let out a small laugh.

“Well now I’m afraid no one will see me as wrath because I cried,” you joked and she chuckled.

“No no, I’d say you still look intimidating.”

A knock on the door made you turn your head.

“Come in?”

The door opened to reveal Anthony and he paused for a moment, his gaze fixed on you, a look of surprise crossing his face.

“I will leave you be,” Lucie rushed to her feet. “My lady. My lord.”

With that, she left the room and you got up from the bed to drop an exaggerated curtsy.

“So what do you think?”

Anthony closed the door behind him and strode to you to pull you into a kiss, making you giggle.

“Darling you look divine,” he muttered to your lips and you ran your fingertips over the lapels of his jacket that were lined with gold threads, gleaming against black fabric.

“And you look very handsome as always,” you said. “Are the guests here?”

“Most of them. They’re by the yard for the fireworks, and your fire breathers are gathering quite the attention.”

You gave him a proud smile and he tilted your chin up to look at you better.

“Were you crying?”

“Oh I was just…emotional.”

“What happened?”

“I will tell you later,” you said. “Shall we go then?”

He grinned and stole another kiss from you, then offered you his arm. You let out a laugh and took it, and walked out of the room with him.

When you got to the yard, you were nearly pulled away from Anthony. Not that you could say anything, considering you two were still pretending to be on bad terms, but almost all the guests seemed to have something to say to you. After greeting all the Bridgertons and Lady Danbury— and managing to dodge their questions— you caught the sight of your family entering the yard so you quickly excused yourself to make your way to them.

“Hello everyone!”

“Wow,” Kenneth commented. “I knew you would wear something scandalous but not this,”

You shot him a grin and pressed a kiss on your father’s cheek.

“Father,” you said before kissing Aunt Lavinia’s cheek as well. “And welcome!”

“Y/N, this is amazing.” Aunt Lavinia said and your father nodded.

“You look so lovely my dearest.”

“Thank you!” you said. “Let me guess, Aunt Lavinia you are wisdom and father, you are…”

“Temperance.”

“Y/N guess what I am!” Iona said excitedly and you tilted your head.

“Give me a clue?”

“Me and Ken decided to come as Aristotle’s virtues!” Iona said, motioning at herself. “I am friendliness and Ken is truthfulness.”

“I was going to come as a vice but she insisted,” Kenneth said, pointing at Iona and you giggled.

“Well you both look amazing!”

“I cannot believe there are fire breathers,” your father said. “Are we sure that’s safe considering you and Elias being here?”

“Father!”

“I’m just expression a safety concern,” he held up his hands, gesturing surrender with a grin and you heaved a sigh.

“Speaking of, where are they?”

Kenneth pointed at somewhere over your shoulder and you turned your head to see Elias and Cecily entering the yard. A smile pulled at your lips and as if on cue, the fireworks started, drawing gasps and noises of admiration from the crowd. You quickly approached Elias and Cecily and hugged Cecily, then Elias.

“Welcome!”

“It looks wonderful Chérie,” Elias smiled at you. “And so do you.”

“Everyone is already talking about your gown,” Cecily said and you grinned.

“Why thank you,” you said. “So Cece, I know you are Hope and Elias you are...”

“Love!” he said, motioning at the small heart pinned on his jacket. “I’m Love. I figured since you’re not going as that…”

“Good choice, it suits you.”

“And wrath suits you,” he said before his eyes caught the sight of something to your left and his jaw clenched. “Speaking of wrath…”

You stole a look in that direction and that familiar fury roared through you as soon as your eyes fell on Frederick. He raised his glass and looked around, then made his way to you.

“Make sure father is alright,” you told Elias and he took a deep breath.

“Chérie…”

“These are his last hours, Elias,” you murmured. “Anthony already presented the court the papers, they know where he will be tonight. It’s just a matter of time until he’s gone for good.”

Cecily squeezed at Elias’s arm.

“We will be with Lord Avon and Aunt Lavinia,” she told you and pulled him in their direction as soon as Frederick reached you.

“Well well…” he said, “It seems that you took after your mother on how to throw a ball as well. She certainly knew how to gather attention, both to the ball and to herself.”

You narrowed your eyes.

“I didn’t know you would be here.”

“Why would I not?” he asked. “Your husband invited me.”

Of course. Frederick would have got suspicious if you had invited him, but having Anthony invite him had only served to make him believe this deception even further.

“Oh did he?”

“A smart man, your husband,” he said as the fireworks kept exploding in the sky and you grabbed a drink from one of the trays. “Too bad he was blinded by love before you got married but I’m glad he’s seeing sense now.”

“And let me guess, you’re helping him?”

“It’s only fair,” he pointed out. “After all, you have come between me and the one and only thing I wanted in the world.”

“My mother never wanted you,” you deadpanned and his jaw clenched.

“Careful there.”

You tilted your head. “Or what?” you asked and he gripped the glass tighter. “It hurts doesn’t it? Deep down?”

“What?”

“You hate me and my father wholeheartedly,” you said. “But my mother loved us both. She loved me and Elias and my father more than anyone or anything in the world. But you? You went through all that, even more than 20 years later you’re trying to take some sort of revenge because you made yourself believe you loved her, she on the other hand didn’t even care about you at all.”

“You have no idea what you speak of.”

“I do though,” you said, looking him dead in the eye. “It’s not that you lost her, you do realize that? You never had her to begin with.”

He gritted his teeth.

“Let me tell you something about my parents,” you said. “My mother was so in love with my father that even after not seeing him for more than twenty years, his name was the only name she was saying on her deathbed, like she was talking to him. The same with my father, after his incident, when he had fever, when he was on death’s doorstep, all he could see or think about was her, he thought he was speaking to her. In their case it makes sense but in your case, I can’t help but find it ironic, almost.”

“Ironic?” he repeated. “And why is that?”

“Because when it’s time for you to die,” you said. “You’re going to go through the same. You’re going to see her, but…she won’t answer.”

A shadow crossed his eyes and you smiled.

“So yes, it’s ironic,” you said. “Because my mother felt love when she was dying, and I’m sure so will my father. But you? You will only feel the pain of never being loved by the one and only person you wanted the most in the entire world.”

He stared at you and your smile widened.

“Enjoy the ball,” you said and walked away from him to your family, fireworks still exploding in the sky.

By the time the firework show was finished, everyone was already impressed by your ball but you were nowhere near done. The ballroom made the exact impact you wanted as soon as the doors were opened, and people had spent so much time just admiring the setting and complimenting you before the orchestra started.

You and Anthony hadn’t danced yet, you didn’t want to raise any suspicions in Frederick until the last moment, but you could almost feel how much he wanted to be close to you because you were taken by the same urge as well. You absentmindedly played with your necklace and stole a look at him to see him repress a smile, twisting his ring around his finger. You stopped the warm smile threatening to pull at your lips as well, and turned your head when you heard someone clear their throat.

“Hugh!” you said, grinning at him and he bowed his head.

“Lady Bridgerton.”

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come.”

“And miss your first ball?” he asked. “Never. Apparently my sister is in love with one of the lords in here, so I had to wait for her to pick the perfect gown. Took an hour.”

“Abby and Edith are here too?”

“Mm hm. Just over there, see?”

You looked to the corner of the room and waved at them.

“I will welcome them in person and thank them for coming,” you said and tilted your head at Hugh. “How angry would you be at me if I told you I’m planning on matchmaking Abby with the one she loves?”

“You know who it is?”

“Mm hm.”

“Who is it?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’ve had my experiences with my own very protective brother, I will not betray Abby that way thank you very much.”

He threw his head back and groaned. “Y/N!”

“What?” you asked airily. “Besides if it’s true love, you cannot possibly be thinking of standing in their way.”

“Will you not rest until you wed all my sisters?”

“I will not rest until everyone that I love finds true love,” you corrected him and he stole a look at you before sipping his drink.

“And how do you feel?”

“Hm?”

“I heard about the…” he motioned in Anthony’s way. “Rumors. Are you alright?”

“Oh!” you said and nodded. “Of course.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know that.”

“I’m not lying to you,” you said. “Trust me. It will all be alright in the end.”

He heaved a sigh and you offered him a small smile.

“But enough about my love story,” you said. “How about yours?”

“Hm?”

You looked around to check whether anyone was listening and leaned in closer.

“How are you and my cousin?”

He shot you a light hearted glare. “Your cousin and I decided that we should remain friends actually.”

You gasped, pressing a hand over your chest. “What?”

“Mm hm.”

“Oh no, that’s a disaster!”

He pulled his brows together. “Not it’s not, I told you—”

“Are you very heartbroken Hugh?” you cut him off. “When I was heartbroken I locked myself in the house and I refused to see anyone, do you feel the urge to do the same? Because I can be there for you and visit you every day if you’d like, I have experience in heartbreak now so if you ever need—”

“Y/N, I’m perfectly alright, and so is he,” he said, nodding in his direction and you looked over your shoulder to see Kenneth catching his gaze, then raised a glass in his direction. There was no hostility whatsoever in his eyes and you frowned in confusion before you turned back to Hugh.

“But you were in love!”

“No we were not, as we both told you over and over again.”

“But I saw you two…um—”

“You do realize that not everyone whom you happen to like spending time together has to be your one and only love?”

“You were kissing though!

“To repeat, it doesn’t mean we’re each other’s true love.”

Your frown deepened before you heaved a dramatic sigh.

“Very well then,” you said. “I had originally planned to put all my efforts into finding Edith her one true love after I was finished with Abby, but I’m afraid this is more urgent.”

“Uh oh.”

“I will find you your one true love, a lady or a lord,” you said. “And I shall do the same for Ken when I visit Scotland. I think he prefers lords though, so I shall find him a dashing lord.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Besides, we’re family now,” you said, motioning between yourself and him. “We will visit each other a lot after the season is over, remember?”

“You’re always welcome in my house but I’m begging you, please—”

“I will throw a ball at the Aubrey Hall as well, I think that would multiply the chance to find someone who happens to catch your interest.”

“Why is love like the plague for you?” Hugh asked. “Just because you have it, does not mean you should infect everyone with it.”

“I will not stop until the whole world is as happy and in love as I am,” you said, wagging your finger at him in a threatening manner and he repressed a laugh, holding up his hands.

“You don’t have to be so menacing about it.”

“It appears that I must,” you said and he heaved a dramatic sigh, shaking his head.

“Will you change your mind if I fight you on this?”

“Of course not.”

“Thought so,” he said before holding out his hand. “A dance with the lady of the house then?”

You smiled at him and took his hand, then let him lead you to the dance floor.

An hour into the ball, you had already danced with Kenneth, Elias and even your father before accepting Mr. Sinclair’s dance request. Now that he was completely smitten by Jane, for the whole dance he hadn’t stopped talking about her and made sure to thank you for introducing him to his true love, a statement that put a smile on your face. However, towards the end of your dance with him, you caught the sight of Cecily walking out of the ballroom so as soon as the dance was over, you grabbed another drink and excused yourself to look for Cecily. After a maid informed you that she had gone upstairs to the washroom, you quickly made your way to upstairs as well to knock on the door.

“Cece?”

“A minute!” she called out before the noise of heaving reached your ears and you scrunched up your nose, then leaned back to the wall.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to get Elias?”

“Oh no, I don’t want him to worry, this is—” she was cut off as she heaved again, then cleared her throat. “This is completely normal, as terrible as it sounds.”

You repressed a small chuckle and soon enough she opened the door of the washroom, wiping at her mouth with a towel.

“Should I send for a maid?”

She shook her head and offered you a smile.

“I’m getting used to it actually,” she said. “As much as one could get used to it, that is.”

“I do not envy you on that part,” you pointed out. “But I admit, I envy you on every other aspect of it.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m very certain that soon enough you will be going through the same thing that I am going through right now.”

You sipped your drink. “Who knows?”

“I do,” she said and frowned. “Where’s your other earring?”

You touched your earlobes and let out a whine.

“I must have dropped it on the dance floor,” you said. “Great. I’ll just change them and look for it after everyone else leaves.”

She grinned. “Maybe a jealous lady stole it.”

You burst into a laugh. “Cece!”

“Could happen.”

“No it couldn’t,” you said and her grin widened.

“Alright alright…” she said. “I’m going back to the ballroom then.”

“I’ll be right there,” you said and made your way to your bedroom. You put your glass on the vanity, quickly grabbed another pair of ruby earrings –the spare ones you had saved for tonight- and checked your reflection in the mirror. You turned a little to check if your gown still looked as good as it did when you first walked into the ballroom, then smiled and grabbed your drink again before leaving the room.

It was only when you reached the hallway that you saw Anthony on the other side and you tilted your head.

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you,” he said with a small smile and you grinned.

“I had an earring emergency,” you said. “Why were you looking for me? Is everything alright?”

He looked over his shoulder as some noises reached you from the foyer downstairs and then turned to you again.

“You wanted to enjoy the view from a good spot, did you not?” he asked and as soon as it dawned on you what he was implying, your breath got caught in your throat, then you rushed past him to reach the mezzanine, where you could look down at the foyer that seemed to be swarming with people now, giving you a clear view.

“Let go of me at once!” Frederick’s voice rang through the foyer as two men –armed guards, as you could see- yanked him into the foyer. “How dare you? What is this?”

“Earl Woodhall, the parliament found that you have committed forgery and fraud,” one of the guards by the foyer said, not even moving an inch as your eyes caught the sight of your family, Lady Danbury and the Bridgertons leaving the ballroom as well to step into the foyer, the remaining guests following them. “You have broken her majesty the Queen’s laws as well as the parliament’s, and you will be punished accordingly.”

Even you could tell that all blood had left Frederick’s face as Anthony came to stand beside you while a dark smile curled your lips.

You wanted to see the look on his face one last time.

You held out your arm and let the glass slip from your grasp and in mere seconds it hit the marble floor, shattering into pieces, the sound gathering everyone’s attention considering how it was completely quiet because of people’s shock. Frederick’s head snapped up and Anthony threw an arm over your shoulder, raising his glass at him with a small smirk while you tilted your head, a pleased smile apparent on your lips.

“…You.” Frederick growled and you leaned your elbows on the railings, letting out a small laugh.

“It was about time you saw what real revenge looked like, and you’ve made it very easy,” you commented, entwining your fingers with Anthony. “Goodbye Frederick.”

With that, the guards dragged him out of the house and you stole a look at Elias and your father, who were both wearing similar smiles before turning to the rest of the guests who were staring at you and Anthony.

“Speech?” Anthony murmured and you nodded, then cleared your throat.

“Well now that the only traitor among us has been taken away and soon to meet his fate,” you said with a smile. “Allow us to welcome you to the Bridgerton House, and the last ball of the season.”

“Hear hear,” Elias called out, raising his glass and you let out a laugh as people started clapping.

“First of all, we would like to thank our dearest friends here who knew what has been happening for the last month was nothing but a necessary deception to uncover Earl Woodhall’s crimes,” you said. “Thank you so much for keeping our secret and not telling anyone.”

Anthony raised his brows and repressed a smirk.

Of course. The ton liked to be involved in anything and everything, especially any kind of secret. So by making them think some people among them knew your fights and divorce rumors were nothing but a deception, you were making sure that they wouldn’t suspect anything otherwise.

You were certain that so many people were going to tell each other they had known all along, even if they had been the first ones to jump on the divorce rumors.

“And to the rest who did not know,” you said. “For not being able to share it with you and for making you worry, we apologize.”

“Wholeheartedly,” Anthony said, pulling you closer to press a kiss on top of your head, earning a chorus of “aww” from the guests and you giggled.

“The second part of fireworks are going to start in half an hour as a celebration,” you said. “So yes, thank you so much for coming, and we hope you will enjoy the rest of the ball!”

Another round of applause exploded through the hallway and Anthony kissed the back of your hand, then winked at you.

“Come on,” he said. “We should go and get scolded by my family before we celebrate with yours.”

The ball was finished towards the dawn, and in your opinion –and also in almost all guests’ opinion, as they kept telling you- it had been the best ball of the season. After everyone left, instead of going back to your bedroom, you pulled Anthony by the hand to step outside, and went to the yard to sit down on the grass, with him following you. He leaned back to the tree you were sitting under, then pulled you closer to hold you in his arms, nuzzling to the top of your hair while you made yourself comfortable, resting your head on his chest, twisting his ring around his finger.

“I can’t believe it’s over,” you murmured, keeping your eyes on the gorgeous shades of orange and red painting the sky and he chuckled.

“Me neither,” he said. “I’m actually relieved, I kept thinking something would come up at the last second. That he would somehow figure it out.”

“He was too blinded by his hate to figure it out.”

“Lord Moore told me that his wife didn’t even tell him about our plan, but apparently she knew.”

“Mm, I overheard the same from Lady Bolton,” you said. “Apparently she knew as well.”

Anthony scoffed a laugh. “Unbelievable…”

“Do you think your mother and Lady Danbury forgave us when we explained it to them?” you asked. “They looked like they forgave us.”

“I think they did forgive us, but I can’t say the same for Eloise.”

“Oh me neither,” you said. “But I mean, this time next week we will all be together at Aubrey Hall, so she will have to forgive us.”

“After some bribe yes, I’m sure she will.”

You let out a giggle and craned your neck to look up at him only for him to dip his head to brush his lips against yours, then caressed your cheekbone with his thumb, smiling softly.

“Have I told you how beautiful you looked tonight?”

You hummed, pretending to be in deep thought. “Only once.”

“Ah that’s simply not acceptable,” he joked, making you giggle again. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on my love.”

“And you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever laid my eyes on, so we make quite a fine pair in my humble opinion,” you said with a grin, making him chuckle.

“We do.”

“And I love you.”

“I love you too darling. With my whole being.”

You squeezed at his arm and nibbled on your lip.

“Anthony mon amour, I realized something tonight.”

He buried his nose into your hair again. “What is it?”

“I feel like…” you paused for a moment. “Every single thing that has happened, it had to be. It was all supposed to happen from the beginning, and now I feel—I feel like I am home now. Like I actually belong here, like this right there was where I was meant to be all along. We were meant to find each other and be together, it was just meant to be.”

Anthony pressed a kiss on your temple, holding you tighter.

“It was,” he murmured. “And you are home now.”

You smiled slightly and took a deep breath, leaning your head back to his chest and inhaling his scent, a sense of relief washing over you.

“Yes,” you said. “Yes I think I am.”

The End.

Epilogue

PS: Wow, this was a long ride!😁 Thank you so so much to every single one of you my loves who has given me amazing support and HCs and ideas! I wouldn’t be able to write this without you, I love you so much!❤

And special thanks to my wonderful friend and beta Bea for helping me with the whole story and making it so much better with her ideas and editing skills, and TM anon for their wonderful analyses of the chapters! You are awesome! ❤

#anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton x reader #regency fic

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adaptacy · 6 months

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A Found Flame {Pt.2}

Pairing: Mentor!Gale Dekarios x Apprentice!GN!Reader

(Previous Chapter) – (Next Chapter) ➔ (AO3)

A/N: Gonna cross-post this to AO3 eventually once I have more of an idea of how the plots gonna go cause you all have convinced me to full-send it and make it a longform thing. just adding it to the list of wip.... a sincere apology to my tcm fics.... anyways! i love my little depressed magic-cancer nerd and im glad im not the only one. here's more of him :) [it wont all be angst, but i gotta set the scene and the stakes, yanno...?] ALSO 'a found flame' is just the working title, idk what the official one is gonna be but i'll let yall know when i figure that out

Word Count: 3.1k

Stepping outside grants you an opportunity to taste the last flavors of the fading winter, only feeling the quick spikes of a chill every few minutes, and even then, it’s only thanks to the setting sun. You still wear a purple velvet shawl, as per the request – well, demand – of Gale. He insisted many moons ago that you shouldn’t ever risk getting sick when you can take measures to avoid such a fate, and you’d decided it was much simpler to go along with it than to argue your safety. That plan was cemented when he purchased you a finely tailored purple shawl, the edges of the hood and cloak lined with lynx fur, dyed a dark pink to complement the thick purple velvet that made up the majority of the shawl. A gift that nothing short of surprised you, even had you fooled into believing you’d been dreaming when he presented it to you. Why he was so particularly fearful of the cold, you weren’t sure, but you deeply appreciated the gift, and even if you did enjoy winter’s nip, the shawl was both gorgeous and comfortable, and you’d be insane to leave it behind.

Gale was also particularly sensitive to cold weather, from what you could tell, which likely had a role in his passionate bias against the chilliness of post-snow air. Frankly, you were fine with the occasional runny nose in exchange for a chance to wander down a snow-dusted forest trail, and you didn’t mind a shiver here and there while you caught free-falling flakes that Waterdeep was ever so rarely granted.

The garden, however, was much like Gale – hardly a fan of the cold. Gale did not have a green thumb, but he still shared similarities with the plants you tended. Those plants that, currently, were dead and buried. While you’d managed to convince him to try his hand at herbalism and gardening, he had more of Bhaal’s touch with the sprouts than the ‘magic’ touch he so often joked about. It was amusing, and a little pitiful; the exasperated sigh and the troubled frown that followed your breaking of the news, that his poorly packed and overwatered plants had passed. He was dramatic, and managed to find the humor in the situation, though vowed to let you handle anything to do with seedlings and crops from that point onwards.

It was unfortunate, as you appreciated his entertaining company (even if it came mostly in the form of griping, displeased that he had to get so up close and personal with dirt and worms) around the garden beds, but it allowed for moments like these. Truth be told, you had no intention of gardening. You would have to wait another twelve dawns until any useful plants would be back in season, so planting anything this late in winter would be a waste of both time and resources.

Instead, you aimed to explore a small forest trail that you’d just recently discovered, not far from the tower you stayed at. To say you lived there felt like too strong, too certain, of a term. It was the only place you slept, and nearly all of your time was spent there, but you knew it wasn’t home. It was Gale’s home, and you were a mere guest. A sixteen-month-and-counting guest, but a guest nonetheless. You worked, your apprenticeship laboursome and sometimes really quite demanding, and Gale repaid your loyalty and assistance by giving you a place to stay. You’d just never planned to stay so long.

In all honesty, you expected it to be a very temporary arrangement. You suspected Gale felt the same way. But circumstances changed, and so did minds, and you didn’t see yourself leaving anytime soon. It helped that you got along quite well with your boss-slash-roommate, despite the differences in personality and age. You were comfortable with the way things were, and Gale had just recently begun to sprout ideas of passing his own spell-casting knowledge on to you, with today’s lesson being a prime example. When you weren’t helping out around his home, or running errands for him, or tending to the garden, you were most usually subjected to reading long passages from books that were once very far above your understanding.

If Gale was a master of anything, it was surely knowledge. You’d found it odd, at first. Spending all of his days wasting away in his tower, just reading, rotting into a hermit, you’d assumed. But you’d soon gained an appreciation for his boundless mind, and felt almost honored that he’d decided you worthy of learning from him. Being a wizard’s apprentice had never been in the plans, not even as a fleeting hypothetical, and yet you found yourself in that exact scenario – and enjoying it nonetheless!

Glancing down at the small woven basket hanging from your arm, you frowned, lost in thought. Gale taught you a lot, and he still had plenty left to teach, but by no means did that translate over to you really knowing the man you shared a house with. He taught from books and scrolls, and on a few spare good days from his own vast experience. Even with all of the lectures he gave, you found that any details about him that weren’t related to magic, or your lessons, were all quite lacking. What you did know about his personal life was almost purely from observation.

Well, a few times when Tara had made a passing comment about some personal detail and surely was later scolded for it, but those were few and far between. If anyone were to blame for your curiosity, it was most certainly the man himself. He loved preaching the importance of curiosity, exploration (despite rarely leaving the confines of his study), and seeking knowledge, and you’d be a rather poor apprentice to disregard such lessons. Or, arguably worse, cherry pick when you applied those lessons to real world scenarios.

Most recently, your nose for curiosity had picked up on the notably pungent scent of Gale’s behavior. It was unusual, slightly withdrawn, perhaps a little panicked if you truly squinted between the lines. Gale was predictable, for the most part – it was one of his traits that had earned him your trust in the first place. Though as of recent, he’d been rather strange. And not the typical Gale kind of strange – an unsettling, uncharacteristic strange. One that you knew better than to ask questions about, but one that certainly sprouted confusion.

You neared the edge of the forest, giving the pale trees a smile as if to promise your peace. Pausing just before the tree line, you peered into the woods, interested as to what you might discover. You proceeded, following a very faint trail into the woods. You had a pretty solid confidence in your navigational skills – otherwise you most definitely would’ve gotten completely trapped in the maze of a city that was Waterdeep every time you ran any sort of errand – so you weren’t particularly concerned with getting lost.

Allowing your thoughts to return to Gale, you reminded yourself that you weren’t really lying to him. You definitely weren’t going to the garden, but you still planned on harvesting plants. You’d known him for almost a year and a half, and you knew the gist of what he’d been through, what with his mentorship from Mystra herself – which was so cool, and he was way too casual about it – and his strange appetite thanks to the Netherese orb that had become one with him. All that aside, however, you didn’t know many details about his past. For as chatty and sarcastic as he was, you couldn’t shake the feeling he had a good number of secrets he withheld from you, and big ones at that.

Of course, Gale was entitled to his privacy, and you didn’t want to intrude or push his boundaries, but it was impossible to ignore the signs of unease. His constantly drifted mind, his long breaks between lessons, his increasingly frequent requests. Or the way that he’d direct you to read a passage from some folktale or other, only to remain silent for several moments after you finish, gazing longingly past his balcony. He’d been consuming more artifacts than usual recently, and gained a sudden eagerness to push real world practice into your schedules. Not that you minded the inflow of new information, but it didn’t seem to come from a place of excitement. Instead, you figured anxiety; judging based off of the common rapid bouncing of his leg, the messy-and-messier spread of his books and trinkets – especially when compared to how well-kept the place always was whenever you’d started working under him – or his new tendency to forget what he had and hadn’t asked of you, or which lessons he’d already covered, or hell, where he had last placed his staff.

Well, what better way to get someone to open up and relax than with a hand-picked bouquet and some herbal tea?

Even if he didn’t spill his guts to you, he certainly needed a pick-me-up. Sure, you already did a lot for him, but he did a lot for you, too. Maybe even more than he realized. He deserved a treat.

– – –

“Though it may be bold of me to say, I estimate they’ll be a fine caster someday.”

“Bold indeed, Mr. Dekarios. Awfully bold. They quite nearly began trembling at the idea of a mere fire bolt!” The small beast chirped back, seated firmly atop his desk, pawing at a small fuzzy ball that swung from a thin string, easily entertained by the simple contraption.

“Even I stumbled; all beginners do. Time is all they need. ‘Time heals all wounds’, is that not how the scriptures read?” He asked, sticking his tongue out and running the tip of a long harpy feather over it.

As he dipped that same tip in a vial half-filled with a thick, clear liquid, Tara quickly outstretched a wing, the end of it not-so-accidentally hitting her companion in the face. The startle nearly caused him to knock over the bottle of magic ink, his torso leaning forward as he just barely managed to steady it with both hands, and he glared at his familiar out of the corner of his eye. She merely stretched out her other wing, feigning obliviousness before eventually looking back at him. “You are still the same fool who summoned me all those years ago. You are a prodigy, Mr. Dekarios! You were half their age then; to compare your ‘stumbles’ to the incompetence of a commoner such as them is exhaustively inconceivable.”

“Tara, I implore you to exercise patience. They are a fine apprentice, and they certainly have the potential for brilliance. Am I not a competent mentor?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, intending the question to be at least somewhat thought-provoking, but the only reaction he received was Tara turning her head away and murmuring something too quiet for Gale to hear. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he knew her well enough to predict it was something snarky, and he didn’t bother investigating. He dipped the large quill again, unable to recall if he’d already wet the tool, and the liquid dripped off of the tip, shimmering in the glint of the fading sun as it rejoined the rest contained in the bottle. “Why is it that you repudiate all of their attempts to bond with you? Surely you don’t think them ill-mannered?”

“‘Ill-mannered’, he says,” she mocks, her tail flicking in irritation. “It is not their civilities that I have quarrels with. It is the expectations I deplore.”

“Expectations?” Gale repeats, his palm flattening against his desk, pressing out the sides of a contorted scroll, the tip of the feather hovering over the yellowed paper.

After solving her own deliberation, the tressym turns around, her wings folding against her sides, her tail curling around her paws. “Have you no fear that your confidence is misplaced? Mr. Dekarios, do you not worry that they may fall short in your plans for them? That they are not up to the task you have decided to burden them with?”

Gale’s irritated gaze softens, his hand relaxing, coming to join his other hand in resting on the desk. The clear liquid on the quill drips onto the parchment, becoming a black dot in an instant, the weave-infused iridescent ink soaking seamlessly into the paper. “I fear nobody could ever truly be capable. But my options are limited, and my few select choices are each disheartening in their own cruel ways.”

“Evidently, you have already made up your mind. Why is it that you allow them to remain oblivious? You know better than anyone how dire the circumstances are.” Tara’s paws slide forward, her belly laying flat on the desk, and she plants her head atop of her mitts.

Gale moves his hand, letting the paper curl up without the weight, to gently scratch Tara’s head, her pitying purr drawing a sigh from his own chest. “I am but a ticking time bomb. Hardly much of a man these days,” he chuckles dryly, looking around the dust-riddled mess that he still called a study. It would be nothing short of anarchy if it weren’t for his apprentice, and he’s seen it in far worse shape, but it doesn’t quite shake the quiet guilt that rocks in his stomach at just how far he’s fallen. Gale is usually quick to excuse his carelessness as an incurable consequence of his age, but he’s well-aware that his energy is not merely being lost alongside his youth.

The artifacts he consumes have only ever satiated a part of the orb’s appetite. Never quite satisfied – a commonly reoccurring trait of those Gale finds himself engaging with – the sortilege feeds off of him as well. The incantations he recites and the thaumaturgy he practices only grows stronger – more powerful than Gale could have ever predicted or wished for – while his body withers away as though his very anatomy is actively being shredded, and relentlessly so, to make room for spells that he now dreads casting.

It doesn’t help that his learned reliance was only ripped away from him when he truly needed assistance. When the man who once considered himself the smartest in all of Faerun was clueless about his own condition, the only person who could possibly have the answers disappeared.

Now, Gale was left to clean up the pieces. He understands this is his own doing – that he was, and still is, a fool. Once blinded by greed, a greed that led him to being blinded by love, a love that led him to being blinded by desperation, a desperation that led to him being trapped by fear. A fear that now has settled, more or less. Present as ever, but no longer unfamiliar, no longer a new addition to Gale’s emotions.

His hand returns to the paper, and Tara steadies her sights on the bottom of the quill, watching as it twirls, imprinting promises and bittersweet apologies onto the scroll. Words he couldn’t possibly utter aloud, but words that couldn’t be more genuine. The recipient deserves more than a written explanation and cursive laments, and he’s aware of the injustice he’s manufacturing, but he is a terribly faded man who is cursed by a deficiency in time and yet finds himself with so much left to do. He decides it is better a raven on her doorstep than his ghost, lacking any explanation.

Each day, he wakes to find his chest a little warmer, his hands a little shakier, his hair a little thinner. And each day feels like his last. He is entirely helpless to the foe that resides inside of him, of all places. Incapable of defending against something that has already breached his castle walls, and even more useless as it has latched under his skin, reducing him to nothing more than a habitat. He hosts an aberration that has grown far, far too large for its enclosure, and who threatens to rupture its cage with every breath that he dares to draw.

He’s held out for long enough. He’s lived longer than he ever imagined possible, but he knows his limits. The truth stings in places untouched by the Netherese’s reaches; his forced composure starts an ache in his face, but he knows better. With a sharp inhale, Gale rolls up the paper, setting down the large brown feather as he retrieves a thin, fraying string, tightly wrapping the letter up. He even finishes it off with a neat bow, a force of habit, and he sets it aside, leaning back in his chair.

The moon is just barely visible now, approaching the stars and creeping over the mild coverage of the stone railings on his balcony, and the wizard watches the white giant rise. Some unburied, deep sense of longing reflects in his eyes, where the moon also resides, though she is much smaller and much dimmer. There’s movement on the desk, but Gale’s eyes aren’t yet drawn away from the beauty of the night. Then there’s a weight in his lap, and a purring against his stomach, and he lowers his hand to rest on Tara’s back, gently stroking, enjoying the silent tranquility.

‘Mystra’s moon’ he used to call it. He’d tell her he could see her in the shadowed curves, but he isn’t sure if he ever really did. Maybe in a dream, long lost to him now. The moon that watched over him tonight was certainly not Mystra’s. It was bright, encasing the room in a beautiful blue, and the gaze it returned was a soft one. Free of judgment, free of stress, free of difficulty.

“I reckon I’ll be up there soon,” he exhales, feeling his familiar curl up in his lap. “Ruling my own section of sky. Perhaps I’ll even have purpose. I can’t help but wonder what it’s like.”

“Peaceful, I suspect. An eternity of peace, at that. What a prospect.”

“You’ll join me some day?”

The feline purrs out a quiet chuckle, her tail curling around her body so the tip rests on her nose, bundled perfectly atop his thighs. “Of course. I can only go so long without a self-warming bed.”

Gale smiles, his hand falling still on her back, though his thumb continues to run up and down her fur. “Give them a chance, will you? They can’t do it without guidance.”

“I’ll take care of them,” Tara reassures, her tone much softer now than when she spoke of his apprentice earlier. “Do wait for me up there. I’ll be by your side before long, Mr. Dekarios.”

“I set out tomorrow night. I’ll inform them of what they need to know.”

#baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale bg3 #gale dekarios x reader #gale bg3 x reader #gale dekarios angst #gale bg3 angst #gale dekarios x reader angst #tara the tressym

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damn-stark · 21 days

Text

Chapter 34 Two birds on a wire…

Chapter 34 of Sugar

A/N- I love how this chapter turned out!

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, fluff, violence and blood, mention of sexual intentions and hints at sexual activities, SPOILERS!! long chapter!

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Episode and or chapters- 230-234 (but only half of 234) of the manga

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

*2 DAYS AGO*

“Do you remember how I can tell your future from reading a palm?” You break the silence of the room and stop messaging Choso’s foot.

“Hm,” he hums to let you know he remembers whilst he continues to gently massage your own foot. “Can you read feet too?”

You snort. “No! I’m curious if that’s a thing though…” you trail off and think for a second about that possibility before you return to what you want to do. “Anyway, come over here and give me your hand.”

Choso drops your foot and obediently crawls over to the other side of the bed to lay beside you and give you his hand, palm facing down, making you flip his hand the first thing you do before raising it slightly, and letting the soft morning sunbeams peeking through the curtains bask his palm, whilst he lays his head on your chest.

“What does it say?” He asks groggily.

You study the intricate lines on his palm and respond softly. “Let me read the lines on your palm first. Now remember I was probably scammed when the lady read my palm so take your future with a grain of salt.”

Choso shares a soft and short chuckle while he awaits to hear his future with his eyes closed considering you haven’t really slept at all because of your passionate activities after your wedding.

“Oh,” you muse and trace his heart line from under his index finger all across his other fingers. “You have a deep and long heart line. That means you’ll have an excellent and fortunate love life with a special someone…” you trail off and pick up your hand to connect your palms.

“Oh and look,” you point out sweetly. “Our heart lines connect.”

Choso shifts his head up to take a peek, letting you feel his lips spread on the side of your boob, which in turn sends jolts of electricity down to your sore core that he abused all night until dawn. “Do you say that to all your past lovers to make them swoon?” He teases.

You snicker and nod. “Yeah actually. I act all cute and innocent and draw my heart line to match theirs so I can play this trick. It has them on their knees by the time I’m done.” You roll your eyes and chuckle before you tilt your head down to press a kiss on Choso’s head. “But seriously, no, ours connect though, I noticed that.”

Choso uses his other hand to bring it up and trace your heartlines that uncoincidentally connect like a puzzle.

“What do you suppose it means then?” He asks.

You smile giddly and shrug. “Well, I like to think that it means that we were meant to be. How romantic is that?”

Choso grins softly. “I had my doubts about you, but I see that you’re right now,” he teases, making you grow smug. He then probes and feeds into your curiosity. “What does this line mean?” He asks as he points at a random line on his palm.

“That,” you roll out and click your tongue. “Is a nothing line, it means nothing. Now leave the palm reading to me.”

“You don’t know do you?” He asks nonchalantly.

You answer bluntly, “no. But!” You go on a bit louder. “Your lifeline—oh!” You exclaim.

“What?” He asks a bit more interested now.

You sit up and sigh. “Your lifeline is faint, there’s no prediction, your life is spontaneous so live your life like any day is your last. You beautiful human.”

Choso smiles shyly as he hums and you point to a little line on the edge of his palm and gasp dramatically, causing him to gasp too. “What?”

“Your money line,” you laugh at him, making him groan. “Your money line is short and broken, you will live a stable life and have an incredibly rich and beautiful spouse.” You say teasingly and tilt your head down as he tilts his head up to meet your gaze that’s fiercely blazing thanks to the sunbeams kissing your eyes.

“Will I?” He asks and pulls his hand off yours to push himself up and crawl up to let his face hover over yours, and his body heat embraces you so tenderly.

“Hm.” You coo and slither your arms around his neck. “I know so.”

“Will I fall in love with her the moment I lay my eyes on her?” He plays along. “Will she have beautiful white hair that’s like the color of snow? Will she be the best thing that has ever happened to me?”

You smile softly and start caressing the back of his neck with your long nails, causing him to let out a small satisfied hum as you answer him. “You will live quiet lives, raising your children, 7 probably because she has two that aren’t hers but she loves them as if they were, and a third one that is hers and also loves with her whole heart. And then you’ll have four more because she wants a big family,” you share quietly and can’t help but grin, whilst he laughs softly.

“You will make her very happy every day you’re alive,” you add in a honey-laced voice. “You’ll make her feel grateful that she gets to be so fortunate enough to be loved by someone who saw right through who she really was and still loved her for it.”

Choso’s smirk fades to a soft smile and his eyes fill with awe as his breath hitches, and a tint of red paints his face.

“Well then…” he pauses and holds your gaze. He then parts his lips to go on with the role-playing, but he smiles widely and leans in to whisper against your lips. “I love you.”

You giggle and slide your hands to his cheeks. “I love you too,” you assure him and lean in at the same time to meet each other for a deep and passionate kiss that leads him to roam his hands up and down your body that he already knew better than the back of his hand. He didn’t even have to see you, he’s marked your body with his lips so many times already that he would be able to recognize you with a single touch.

Even a whiff of your sweet scent would be enough for him to be able to recognize you; he’s so enticed by your scent that he engraved it in his memory.

If he could, he would always be near you, touching you, and kissing you in every part of your body that makes you smile, but he has to hold himself back. Like now he has to pull back.

And when he does pull back he starts to smirk so you grow curious. “What is it?” You probe.

“I can see the future,” he reveals as uses his thumb to rub small circles on your hip.

You raise a brow and press him. “Oh? I mean you're old enough for that to actually be a possibility. You’re 150 years old honey, I kind of believe you.”

Choso scoffs and shakes his head, but he can’t help but laugh before he goes on and questions you. “Well, then are you ready to know what's about to happen?”

You smirk and nod eagerly. “Please.”

“I am about to go downstairs and make you breakfast,” he says. “I’ll bring it up here since it’s cold outside and we’ll have breakfast in bed.”

“Oh,” you coo in amusement while you move your hands back to twirl a strand of his hair on your finger. “I like the sound of that. And maybe I’ll have some strawberries on the side? And then you after? In the shower. Do you see that in the future?”

Choso smirks and even if he gets flustered he nods. “I see it.”

You beam at him and lean in to pepper his face with kisses, making him grin before he pulls away and climbs off the bed, letting you grow smug as you see how his back is decorated with old and fresh scratch marks of pleasure, and grow hot as you watch how his muscles move so fluidly as he puts on his pants. When he turns to face you your smirk deepens and you can’t help but shoot him a flirty quip.

“You have a sexy back.”

Choso blinks in surprise as if that’s the first time hearing you compliment him like that, making you giggle and wink at him.

“Hurry back,” you purr and turn around to show off your bare ass that’s marked with bruises from his slender fingers. “I hate being lonely.”

Choso lets out a deep amazed breath as he lets his eyes greedily linger on your body for a moment longer before he turns and leaves in a hurry so he can come back quicker to you, his wife.

——

*NOW*

Okay, yes now that you take a deep breath you realize that Choso didn’t deserve to be snapped at the way you snapped at him mere moments ago. He was only trying to help you and there’s no excuse you can say about it either.

Especially now because Mahoraga is disappearing into the depths of the shadows, leaving only a wheel above Sukuna’s head.

“What's up?” Sukuna directs at your brother casually. “You look like you have something on your mind.”

“Not really,” Satoru retorts. “It just warms my heart seeing you so desperate.”

Only he could joke around so much when he’s so close to death. Then again you try to do the same before you get too upset to keep any kind of amusement going.

“Look who’s talking,” Sukuna snaps back with a chuckle? A chortle?—whatever, he cackles maliciously, so you take this time as they're staring into each other's eyes to back up and sit back down, feeling a one-sided tension fall on your shoulders and grip at your throat.

You almost feel like Choso’s honey-infused eyes are burning into you, you feel the side of your face burning, but when you steal a glance at him he has his eyes ahead. So it’s your mind just playing cruel tricks.

“Unlimited void, an ability that activates once inside your domain…honestly, I figured it was going to be a real pain,” Sukuna yaps on while he reaches his arm across his chest to stretch the muscles on his arm—“That’s why, my first move was to take that card out of the deck.”

Smart or afraid?

“While unable to use my amplification within the domain, I had Megumi Fushiguro adapt to unlimited void using his ten shadows technique,” Sukuna continues. “As a result, I couldn’t use my cursed technique other than what was imbued to my domain, I suppose that paid off in its own way.”

Smart.

“All he took was the process of adaptation, and not the resulting adaptation right?” Satoru points out and you notice that he’s growing more smug. “Sukuna, you haven't actually adapted Megumi's soul itself to unlimited void. If I open my domain again Mahoraga won’t be able to bail you out.”

Don't do it!

You blink in disbelief and feel your whole body grow bitterly cold as you realize that what he’s about to do is a stupid move.

He already bled from his nose! No matter how strong he is, he’s not immune to strains!

Stupid idiot!

“I’ll destroy it with one attack,” Satoru says and brings his hand sign up, causing you to dig your nails in your palm so hard that they cut through your skin. Not like you actually feel a single sting through the stress winding your stomach when Satoru bleeds more and nothing opens.

“You can no longer open your domain,” Sukuna teases him nonchalantly, and it’s something you already knew.

Satoru is such a stupid idiot!

“What just happened?!” Kusakabe bellows at the screens.

You knew it! Damn it. Now he’s put even more strain on his stupid brain!

What he did…

Tsk.

This is like watching a sports game, except for all of the stress and none of the fun.

“Using reverse cursed technique to heal your exhausted innate technique looks like you’ve strained yourself quite a bit,” Sukuna points out the obvious and goes on yapping about the inner workings of cursed technique and rct on the brain as if Satoru didn’t know!

Maybe that’s why Sukuna and Kenjaku get along, they both like just flapping their lips at the oddest times.

“Even using that is way too risky!” Yuta refers to Sukuna’s explanation about Satoru using RCT to heal his burnt-out technique.

“The brain…” Kusakabe utters sounding muffled thanks to his hand over his mouth. “Especially the part of the brain where cursed techniques are concerned is a black box, it isn’t as simple as thinking about healing it, then doing just that.”

You drop your eyes and exhale deeply, feeling that tight grip loosen and letting your body feel only a bit at ease. Your muscles are still tight with stress, and that tension…is very much still alive.

“Based solely on the amount of times he’s done it already,” you hear Yuji ramble beside you. “He should be at death's door. He did something that reckless four times…”

As he pauses you look over and catch him counting on his fingers, only he has up three fingers instead of four. Thus you lean over and gently pull out a fourth finger to aid his difficult calculations.

“Ah,” Yuji gasps. “Right, thanks.”

You hum and find entertainment in his counting.

“So just seconds ago makes five,” Yuji says with five fingers out. He did it!

If you could count all the stupid things your brother has done you wouldn't have enough fingers or toes to count them on. You’ve only lived half of your life with him instead of the entirety of it like it was meant to be, but even then his recklessness surpasses every limit.

It’s best not to put up any expectations or he’ll break them one way or the other. It’s why you’re so damn stressed, you don’t know what to expect from your dear brother.

“I thought Gojo had been getting used to healing his brain, but it looks like he’s suffering the sequelae now,” Shoko interjects in a hoarse voice that lets you know that she hasn’t stopped smoking. “Sukuna’s done it fewer times, so he has more leeway than Satoru here.”

And the moment his name is spoken, Satoru tumbles on one knee and thanks to the bright daylight, you see his face gleaming with thick beads of sweat, and his face stained with blood running out of his nose. Which only makes that tight grip take ahold of you again to the point you feel like everything in your stomach is going to come up.

“You’ve reached a limit completely separate from healing flesh and bones,” Sukuna begins to proclaim ever so proudly and smugly. “Supposing you could expand your domain again, you’d perish the moment you did so. Not to mention the fact that you wouldn't be nearly precise enough to oppose me.”

This time Satoru doesn't counter with a witty remark, he glowers, but his silence is so deafening that even if you begin to realize something, tears still prick in the corner of your eyes as your worst fear could be seconds from coming to fruition.

“Next, I’ll close the barrier of my domain and you will be left with nowhere to run,” he rejoices maliciously. “And while I carve you to pieces I’ll even adapt to that infinity of yours.”

You gasp as if you had been suckered punch in the gut and feel your bottom lip push out to a shaky pout.

Choso watches what’s unfolding on the screen and slowly and carefully reaches for your fisted hand at your side. His cold touch startles you, but it’s not unwelcoming, the stress is making you sweat, and every second that passes your muscles only feel as if they tighten more, so his touch is refreshing, and works like a relaxer to your tightening muscles. You immediately feel comforted by a touch you had basically, rudely turned away moments ago when you were a bitch.

“This is goodbye,” Sukuna’s voice turns less brash and sounds almost like it’s laced with admiration. “You were born in an era without me and hailed as “the strongest”, and yet you turned out to be so painfully ordinary.”

Your face twists with agony even if you know deep inside the reality that’s about to strike. You grip onto Choso so tightly that he winces under his breath.

“Domain expansion,” Sukuna’s gravelly voice echoes out of every stereo. Skulls and bones from creatures you don’t recognize, and pieces of a structure are then born behind him, yes, but, before his domain can actually grow to completion it all explodes and blood pours out of Sukuna’s eyes, staining the whites of his eyes, while the blood that filters out of his nose stains the tight white robe he wears.

His brain, like Satoru's, is burned out. You realized that but your logic was clouded by your fear, so that’s what took control of your emotions, but now as you watch your brother push himself up unscathed, you draw in a deep breath to ease your nerves and just breathe.

You can never breathe properly when you’re anxious, or scared, but now your chest isn’t as tight—AS TIGHT, you still feel a weight, but now you’re relishing in the fact that your brother is still alive.

“Looks like it’s hitting you pretty damn hard!” Satoru exclaims as he mockingly laughs at his opponent before he points back and grins. “My students are watching, you know. I’m gonna go ahead and keep showing off.”

You laugh under your breath and can’t help but smile faintly and keep that smile as an expression of your relief whilst Satoru attacks a dulled Sukuna with punches.

“Maybe betting you would’ve made me the rich spouse,” Choso attempts to break the tension that was still in between you.

However, as an amused smile breaks out on your face that tension stays up as you’re interrupted.

“Who here has ever been seriously punched by Gojo?” Kusakabe asks the group.

“I’ve seriously punched him before,” Panda shares, making Yuji go on and finish that response.

“I didn’t end up touchin’ him though.”

“He’s punched me,” you share bregudgly and avert your gaze as everyone’s eyes fall on you. “He punched me last year.”

“Oh, oh,” Yuji exclaims. “Was it during the Night Parade?”

You sigh. “Hm. He was trying to…” You trail off as you remember one of the reasons why Satoru was fighting you last year and look at Choso beside you with a smirk. “…stop me from taking something.”

Choso glances over at you and you can’t hold your smug and teasing gesture, you have to show him a wide endearing smile.

Choso realizes you're referring to him and he mirrors your smile while his cheeks react by growing red.

“If by seriously punched you mean taken a blow from limitless technique,” Okkotsu brings focus back on the topic. “Then I have.”

“Same here.” Hakari raises his hand.

“His fist is enhanced with cursed energy,” Kusakabe finally gets to what he was leading up to. “And on the moment of impact, “blue” repeatedly absorbs the surrounding space,” he shares and slams his fist against his palm to give a demonstration.

“It isn’t just stronger,” Hakari shares by experience. “It feels like you’ve been clocked by a counterattack after preparing for a regular blow. It’s the absolute worst.”

You huff in agreement and feel as if you can recall the fucking feeling…

“Did it hurt?” Kirara asks with curiosity, and you can’t help but laugh nervously.

“It…made me puke,” Okkotsu and Hakari both say at the same time.

“Did it hurt you master?” Kirara now directs at you since they didn’t catch your response. And you swallow thickly and nod.

“It hurt,” you admit bluntly.

“Nanamin…” that name spoken by Yuji catches you off guard and for a moment you believe that man is going to walk out.

Only for a few seconds though.

“…had something to say about that too,” Yuji continues. “He said it was easy for Gojo to jab critical hits while other sorcerers like him struggled to perform them in the first place. He made a point to tell me not to compare myself to him.”

You hum and murmur, “he’s right…he was often right.”

How you wish he was here not only to help but so you could seek comfort in your best friend…

“What I’m trying to say,” Kusakabe interjects. “Is that from here on out, I don’t have a clue what Gojo’s doing. So don’t ask.”

Was anyone?

Regardless, you let out a deep sigh and take a glimpse at the screen, seeing your brother having fun literally dragging Sukuna through the ground.

Just like you dragged Kenjaku, it’s like you learned from one of the best. Or at least you learned playing with your victim from him too well.

Regardless Mahoraga isn’t out so you take this chance to break that tension between Choso and you. You can’t go on keeping things awkward and or pushing problems aside. That’s not you in relationships with your partners.

“Choso,” you call out quietly.

“Hm?” He probes with worry instantly expressing his kind eyes which only works to fill you with more guilt and the necessity to apologize.

“Come with me,” you say and make him more concerned as you take his hand and lead him to a hall away from the nosy audience.

“What is it?” He asks with worry obviously laced in his voice.

You meet his worried gaze and don’t hesitate for a second to express your remorse. “I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. You were only trying to comfort me and I snapped at you. I’m sorry.”

Choso lets out a deep breath and chuckles breathlessly at the floor. “Oh. I thought it was something else,” he says and looks up at you with a soft and enamored look. “It’s fine, Don’t apologize.”

You huff and part your lips to argue, but he cuts you off.

“Listen to me, I understand why you snapped at me, okay? You’re stressed. You’re watching your brother fight, I understand.”

You shake your head and grab his arm to argue. “No, it’s not okay. You wouldn’t snap at me. And me snapping at you because I’m stressed is no excuse. It’s okay to be annoyed at me, or mad.”

Choso steps closer to you and cups your cheek. “I have no reason to be mad at you. I told you I don’t like being mad at you.”

“But—”

“If you hurt me then I will have a reason to be mad at you, but as of now,” he interrupts you so you don't have to waste your breath sputtering out something foolish. “I understand.”

You scoff in disbelief and hold his gaze to share that same emotion before an affectionate smile breaks on your face, proving once again why it is that you love him so deeply.

He understands you deeply, he understands the inner workings of your soul as if he was a part of you.

So without saying the words ‘I love you’, you actually speechlessly say those meaningful words with a soft and enamored look that can’t be broken, and then lean in to press a quick kiss on his lips before you press your forehead on his and take in the feeling of presence that’s all for you.

You so badly want to break down at the feeling of him embracing you, but you stay strong and instead lay your head on his shoulder and let him hold you.

And it’s then that you break your silence in a quiet voice filtered with hints of sorrow. “Back when I was young…I used to be jealous of the attention my brother got,” you admit, which isn’t really hard to guess about you. It’s kind of obvious to guess if anyone tried it.

“My jealousy only got more profound when we both went to school,” you continue to share. “He would get praised and get looked at like he was some savior, a god amongst mortals. Even my mother would cast me aside in favor of Satoru as if I were some ugly painting no one understood. I would get sad, but after I realized that I would never be treated the same no matter how strong I got because I would never be a son, my sadness turned to anger and resentment.”

Choso’s hold tightens around you, and his fingers dig into your clothes as he clutches onto you.

“Now,” you go on and move your head to press your forehead on his shoulder, and sound muffled. “I hate the attention he gets because it means he has the responsibility on his shoulders to be the savior for our people. He has to fight alone.”

“But he’s not alone, he’s not doing this alone,” Choso says, making you pull back to face him with curiosity. “There's a responsibility he will always hold because he’s strong, but he’s not alone. He knows that because of you and all his students. We will win because of him.”

A wobbly smile slowly tugs on your face to express your speechless appreciation.

“And you,” he emphasizes by speaking louder, but still expresses his love for you. “You are not an ugly painting. You’re beautiful. Complex, but who isn’t? But you,” he whispers and cradles your cheek. “You, My Love, are breathtaking. And it’s a shame your family never saw that, or how strong you are. No one’s strength compares to yours. I know that, I’ve seen It since the moment we met.”

You grin at him and press your forehead on his before you lean in to steal a thankful kiss that you deepen by pushing your tongue in his mouth. When you pull back you gently tug back his bottom lip you caught between your teeth.

When you face him you still grin at him as bright as a shining sun and wipe his lip with your thumb. “This is why you’re the best. No one could ever make me feel the way you do.”

Choso blinks and queries. “Is that good or bad?”

You chuckle. “You tell me, I officially met you two months ago, and now we’re married and expecting twins.”

Choso scoffs shyly at the ground as he understands but you still assure him. “Definitely good. Oh, and you’re funny and hot.”

“Hardly.”

You smirk and press a last kiss on his lips.

“You know,” you say when you pull back. “You can pull me out to talk to me anytime. Just don’t obsess over the well-being of the twins, I’ll let you know if somethings wrong in that case.”

Choso scoffs and hesitates to respond considering the twins are all he will worry about regarding himself at the moment.

“Well then,” he mutters. “All I can say is that I’m nervous about you, Yuji, and our friends, but we haven’t gotten there yet so I’m okay.”

“Good,” you say with a relieved sigh and stare at him longly for a second. “Now I’m in need of some snacks…we should—”

Before you can finish he pulls out a ziploc bag with chips. “Just don’t finish them, I want some too,” he says. “I was going to bring dark chocolate for the both of us for our benefit, but it’d melt in my pocket so I opted for only chips.”

You look at him in awe before you giggle and take his arm.

“I knew you’d want something to munch on so I brought them,” he mentions proudly.

He knows you so well.

Now to go back, but you hesitate leaving and he waits with no argument. After a few minutes, you let out a deep breath and finally find the will to return.

Even though if you stay where you are maybe, just maybe nothing will happen to your brother…

But you also know you’re being a bit delusional, so you interject quietly. “Let’s go back.”

Choso hums and tows behind you as you return to the main hall where everyone is watching the grand battle. You however don’t look at the screen right away, you avert your gaze as you remember a specific day you returned home after being at the school for a while. You remember Satoru sharing a story of one of his complicated missions and the praise he got because he defeated the curses all by himself. You remember the praise he got, the pats that slapped his back as if he had just the saved world.

Most of all you remember your anger, jealousy, and resentment burning deep inside as you saw how much they loved him. You tried to fight what you felt poisoning your mind, after all he deserved all the praise because he was the strongest even then, and Satoru was never directly the one to make you feel left out (or he tried not to at least), but…you were a special grade sorcerer too, you had a remarkable technique that was rare too.

You were afraid, a bit weak then, but you fought just as hard, maybe even a little harder, and all you wanted was to be at least looked at the same way they looked at him.

If you had been born a boy perhaps your treatment would’ve been different, you would have been praised for what you could do. But you were born a woman, and they never bothered to even look your way when it wasn’t to get you in trouble. It wasn’t until you formed your family with Suguru that you were praised, you got pats on the back, and you were looked at with appreciation and admiration.

Perhaps that’s why you can’t part from Larue, Miguel, Toshihisa, and Manami, so easily. They gave you what you always longed for. As cruel as you all were, your love for each other was always genuine. And perhaps it’s your recalling of deep heartfelt, and hurtful emotions, or perhaps it’s your mind playing a sick game, but you remember a specific day several years ago when you, Suguru, and Larue saved Toshihisa from a town that treated him the same way the twins were treated.

It was unfair and horrible that people could mistreat and hurt a kid because he was born with abilities and techniques he didn’t ask for. He was different and the people that were supposed to protect and nourish him hated him for it, so you paid back their injustice with justice.

Of course, you started the attack that day, you remember now as clear as day; there was no wind, there was a chill, but it was typical since all the tall trees blocked the sun. The people of the town had settled down after the commotion you all made when saving Toshihisa, so it was easy for them to hear their wind chimes starting to play, and the branches starting to dance with a sudden breeze that started randomly.

You wanted to be a bit playful that day so as you played out your part you chose to have some fun. Instead of suddenly bombarding your enemy with a wind storm, you started by slowly raising the wind's speed.

What started as a gentle breeze sped up to rushing gusts that started to raise the pulses of the non-sorcerer townspeople. Your smugness heightened and so did the wind. Then things that were left discarded, leaves, loose dirt, and pebbles started to fly as the wind’s speed picked up, pulling out the non-sorcerers who had been inside their homes, and making those outside stop to look around as if they were looking for the cause amongst themselves.

You had remained hidden for the beginning as to keep them at their toes and have their hearts race as they wondered what cruel joke Mother Nature was playing, but after you made the wind race faster and start to pick up dirt, you stepped out to the top of a green hill and hid within a cloud of dirt to keep your identity a secret. However, your smirk and your malice could be felt as an evil presence, a demon who had chosen to come out and play with mortals.

You didn’t stop there, you remember that you could’ve let Suguru join in to bring a swift end and return home, but you were feeling a bit dramatic and vengeful that day, so you raised the amount of cursed energy you were using and threw your arms out towards the town to blast out wind to the point the howling wind began to roar.

You remember hearing houses shake, tree branches, and old or weak trees breaking. You remember the sound of glass breaking as things were being hurled out. You can still hear the screaming of people before the wind drowned out every cry.

Did you feel remorse then?

Not at that moment, you were so lost in the power, and the deep need to prove something to the sorcerers who would see reports later on what happened. You were proud of being able to blast out windows with the gusts of wind you could control, and the fact that you were so strong you could make the wind pick up to record-breaking speeds that were so violent that they barged through houses made of wood.

There was a moment that evening, a moment they thought was their salvation where the wind settled and a deafening silence fell, but you spoke words they couldn’t hear.

“Elemental cursed technique, fire dragon.”

You smirked and felt fire ignite from the dragon mark on your arm, making it glow a rageful red-orange that matched the color of your eyes.

The fire traveled down, licking your veins and flesh under your skin before hot flames started to seep out of your palms and slithered out to the sky. That wasn’t it, to create a fire dragon large enough to damage a town, you needed more fire, so you remember throwing your head back and letting fire creepily crawl out of your mouth like a snake would do in horror movies.

All that fire combined created a large fire-made dragon that blocked what little sun that shone down, and casted a large shadow on the town before its echoing roar broke the sky and let every non-sorcerer know that the wind wasn’t the end.

Raging fire fell down and the non-sorcerers cried out as they ran from the creature terrorizing them and the blasts of fire that rained down. Some got close to escaping on opposite sides of the town, but Suguru finally joined in and trapped them inside with a curse they could see because their death loomed, while on the opposite side, you use your technique to slither fire in front of them to barricade them before it furiously jumped and created a firewall of cursed energy imbued flames.

You didn’t stop there either, you finally felt the need to come out of hiding and strode through the tall wall of raging flames.

At first, you weren’t visible to their panicked vision, but as you strutted further in the fire they saw your figure take shape in the flames before they caught your eyes and your malicious smirk through the gaps of the dancing flames.

And you knew there was no need to walk down and come out of hiding, you had the advantage of being able to use your technique from afar, but you wanted to show the powerless that this was no act of god spiting them, this was you, you were no weak link, you were the great evil, you were death. You were in control and that filled you with a sense of glorious pride and made your blood pump with adrenaline

You could say that you remember feeling ashamed at that instant as they tried to desperately escape, or when you saw the once blue sky get littered with thick black clouds of smoke, but that wouldn't be the truth. You didn’t feel glee, you felt closer to your goal and proud that you got justice for their crimes, but you were far from feeling any sort of satisfaction.

When the dragon then landed on the town and you had it bath the town in more flames, instead of looking at the town with mischief, you remember dropping your lips to a scowl and furrowing your eyebrows to express your malice, but your eyes…well, the fire reflected your gleaming gaze and didn't at all express the rageful emotions you tried to maintain.

Suguru saw through you that day, of course…

“Not at all the look I was expecting after a marvelous display of your abilities…” he pauses and his voice softens. “Are you okay?” He asks.

Your eyes flicker down and your heart nervously skips a beat, but you still nod because a part of you does tell the truth. “I am…it’s just…I don’t know. It’s not easy. You know? After all the excitement and rush comes down I feel…” you pause as you’re at a loss for words since your mind comes up blank.

“Regret?” Suguru tries to finish your sentence.

You meet his gaze and shake your head. “No, of course not. Not regret. I can't describe it.”

Suguru hums and studies you to try and read what it is you can’t express, but he comes up empty in his search since you really don’t know. Thus he raises his hand to lick his thumb before he cleans soot off your face, making you smile.

“I would understand you know,” he whispers as if he can read your deep thoughts that you can’t even uncover. “You not wanting to take part in this part of our goal. That wouldn’t change a thing, not your place by my side, ever. You’d just not come out on field missions as much.”

You sigh and hold his gaze as you debate wanting to continue wiping out towns for the better of your dream. Your mind battles hard and bloody to pick a side.

But even if you thought you’d take long choosing between not being a part of this side of history or choosing to go on as you are. Your mind ends up choosing a side rather quickly.

Maybe it’s his dark eyes that look at you softly and bring clarity, or the warmth of his hand on your cheek that comforts every rising spike in your heartbeat, or simply his mere presence that makes you feel so safe and comforted that you know it’s all going to be okay with whatever you choose. Maybe it’s all three. But whatever it is, you know.

How could you live in a world without curses if non-sorcerers still roam the earth?

You can’t so you choose.

“No,” you share with growing confidence. “I don’t want to stay behind. I want to continue doing this, I want to achieve our goal side by side. And the only way I can do that is by helping eliminate non-sorcerers with my technique.”

Suguru hums with pleasure and offers you a soft heart-warming smile. “Great,” he whispers against your lips.

You glance at his lips and pull back. “Suguru, I have soot all over my face.”

He smirks and shakes his head. “So?” He snaps before he leans in to steal a slow kiss fueled with needy desire.

You grab his jaw and lean in closer as if trying to devour him.

Neither of you are in a rush so you linger in that heated kiss before you pull back and share a malicious smirk as you both feel a stronger need to achieve your mutual goal.

“You did amazing by the way,” he doesn’t forget to say. “Great control.”

You smile giddly and shrug cockily. “All in a day's work.”

Suguru chuckles and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah I’ll let you have that.”

“Yeah?” You ask as you turn to leave with your arm hooked around his.

“Totally, only because you left me in awe.”

——

Out of all the things you knew, what you didn’t know was what happened after that day.

Unbeknownst to you the higher-ups made Satoru go investigate what happened with other workers. Your own father and some other members of your family even went along after they heard about the disaster you and Suguru had left behind.

“Satoru,” his father's voice booms. “You have to kill your sister. She’s gotten out of control! She’s a weak link that could destroy us all.”

Satoru’s father swiftly turns around to face him with an angry glare. However, it’s not anger for what happened, he felt nothing for the injustice committed to the town, he was angry because of you, of the stain you were putting on the Gojo reputation. Your father was angry because you weren’t under their control, and because Suguru and you were gaining more power than he or any higher up could ever wish for.

“Satoru,” his father sighs and walks towards him with an attempt at sounding pitiful. “I know your feelings are conflicted, but that woman who did this is not your sister anymore. Listen, do your job as the clan leader, and as the strongest sorcerer, and get rid of this evil.”

Satoru holds his father's gaze under his dark shades as he does feel conflicted, but not in the way his father assumed.

If he had to kill you…he would…he knew that. Would he do it so easily? No, you were his sister. You would be one of the few people he would ever hesitate killing for the greater or good, so his conflict came from not knowing how to reach out to you.

“Perhaps we pushed her over the edge?” One of Satoru’s uncles tells his father. “We should have never let her leave with the technique she has! She should have married Naoya Zen’in like they wanted instead of letting her run around with that curse manipulator!”

Satoru’s father responds right away with a dry laugh and an untrue comment. “Ha, no. People this evil are born this way. There’s nothing we could have done.”

Satoru turns away and thinks to himself that you had been far from evil. You probably wouldn't have fallen from grace if they had treated you differently; you probably would’ve ended up staying. But they had a hand in pushing you away and turning you into who you are.

Not like they would ever see their wrongdoing.

He could correct them and defend you, but there was no point, they’d never understand or change their minds. He’d just be wasting his breath so he walks away to keep looking around. That’s when he comes to a sudden halt when he comes across a tall wall of fire still consuming a house. He doesn’t even need to read whose cursed energy seeped through every corner of the house and every inch of that fire, it all reeked of your presence. You were here, you…are here?

Satoru’s breath hitches and his pulse jumps as he notices a figure in the flames that looks like you. He can’t see a face or hear a thing. The figure stands there in the flames, so he stands there and watches the flames as if waiting for you to come out.

He wants to call out for you, he pulls his hand out of his pocket and feels a sense of relief and longing to see you. The flames move and he swears he sees a glimpse of your eyes glistening bright because of the firelight.

But as the flames move further away he discovers the figure is only rubble that had fallen. Of course, you were long gone, why did he think you’d still be here and so easy to find too?

Perhaps it was his heart's desire to see you again. And not just in a magazine or short clips of you on runways, he wants to see you face to face and talk and laugh again like you used to. The years that passed without you were too quiet.

Right now if you were here—well from what he remembers about you, you would be making fun of your uncle, pointing out how stiff he’s standing and if he clenched his muscles anymore he’d let out a fart. You would also point out how serious he tries to be in front of your father.

You’d grow bored after a while so you’d kick the rocks, you probably would have accidentally hit your father and ran away laughing so he’d take all the blame. After a while if you were still here you’d be dramatic and say you’d die if you stayed here any longer so you’d suggest leaving without letting anyone know, and he’d of course give in and leave with you even if it meant getting in trouble…

——

*NOW*

Yuji says that the wheel over Sukuna’s head needs to do two more spins before Mahoraga adapts to Satoru’s infinity technique, which finally places a meaning behind the wheel. You were clueless as to what its purpose was, but now you know.

And knowing how this battle is going, Mahoraga will adapt to his infinity before Satoru has a chance to kill Sukuna. It’s gonna be a pain in the ass, but you will try to be more positive to prevent any more outbursts like the one moments ago with Choso. So! Even if Mahoraga adapts then your brother will adapt too and find a way around it!

Yes!

Anyway, Yuji is worried about Satoru forgetting about Fushiguro…as much as you’d like him to live, you’re okay with letting him die if it means getting rid of Sukuna once and for all. It’s so cruel to think about, he’s young after all, and he has his whole life ahead of him, but if it means getting rid of one evil you’re okay with it. And you know Satoru thinks the same way, he can’t afford to think otherwise.

Nevertheless, you watch as Satoru holds onto Sukuna’s leg before kicking him away, somehow causing the wheel above Sukuna to spin, leaving one spin left.

“The third spin!” Hakari yells out what everyone is watching. “One more left!”

You clench your jaw and lean forward, propping your elbows on your legs.

“Is it time needed for the adaptation?” Yuji asks with concern. “Or is it experience?”

You wish you could answer, but you know a little bit about Mahoraga, the Zen’in’s were not keen on sharing that much information about it. All you know is from the stories left behind by your ancestors who watched someone fight that beast.

“Oh, I see,” Kusakabe interjects—which of course he does, he’s like a computer, he knows everything. Somehow—“you’re asking does it A, take the attack once and take time to understand it, and then adapt. Or, B, adapt incrementally after taking the attack multiple times. Well,” he sighs. “Considering Gojo hasn’t used any techniques aside from Lapse, which could it be?”

You analyze Sukuna through the screen, but who are you kidding? You won’t get shit.

“Either option is possible,” Kashimo is the one who answers. “That’s all there is to it.”

He’s…right…

Regardless, there’s nothing you can do to stop that damn wheel but watch it turn, and hope that somehow Satoru performs some miracle and kills Sukuna now.

That’s not likely, so you just hope with all your might that your brother can beat the mighty beast.

“Cursed technique reversal!” Satoru announces, stealing all your attention to him pointing his fingers at Sukuna after he finds his footing on the ground after being flung—“Red!”

A bright flash blinds the screens, making you be left in wonder as to what the outcome is.

But when the birds recording the fight recuperate their sight, it seems that Satoru’s technique didn’t hit. It seems! You know otherwise, there was no flash of red, and the damage on Sukuna and their surroundings wasn’t much at all, you know it hasn’t hit.

“What did he do?” Choso mutters in frustration.

You lift your head and drop your hands on your thighs whilst a smirk tugs on your lips. “Watch,” you whisper and steal a glance at him glued to the screens as he falls for Satoru’s trick just as Sukuna and everyone else does.

“He misread it!” Higuruma sounds alarmed. “At this rate…”

“It’ll adapt!” Yuji shouts and lets everyone else know.

But you…you still know otherwise.

“It’ll adapt,” you direct at Yuji as you watch Sukuna look smugly at your brother—“but just now what did you notice about the explosion?”

“Huh?” Yuji exclaims.

“Describe it to me,” you press excitedly

“Uh…”

“It wasn’t red,” Choso points out for his brother as he finally realizes why you weren’t stressed out too.

“Oh.”

You hum pridefully and nod.

“Such sloppiness,” Sukuna sneers. “Lost your cool after your hand was read.”

You let out a deep breath and rub your thighs as you’re filled with eagerness.

“You know that red just now,” Satoru finally reveals his play with his eyes wide with determination. “Still hasn’t exploded.”

Sukuna’s eyes peel open and before he can even think of countering, Satoru’s Red shoots Sukuna in the back, making his spine crack violently, and leaving Satoru a chance to lunge forward and strike him with a mighty black flash!

A black flash!

“A black flash!” You exclaim and jump to your feet.

The screens reflect the wheel hitting the ground as Sukuna blanks and spills blood out of his mouth and the wounds he gathered after the violent explosion.

However, success isn’t guaranteed, no matter what Sukuna’s state is, because somehow even if the wheel is on the ground, a shadow casts on the ground below Satoru’s feet before Mahoraga emerges and snatches your brother with his giant hand.

“Satoru,” you gasp as if trying to warn a man projecting through a screen.

And from one second to another, when Mahoraga is standing on its feet, he slashes your brother with his enlarged blade, and you feel your heart clench at the sound of the blade cutting your brother's flesh.

It’s not enough to kill him, you have to blink multiple times to realize that, but Mahoraga is still fully out now.

You’re surprised your heart can take the stress of seeing that beast, it’s working so hard in your chest.

“He’s not finished yet,” Yuji says through his panic. “Even if it adapted to infinity they’re still on equal footing. And even if he’s injured, he can quickly—”

“No,” Shoko cuts him off harshly as she lets out a nasty smoker's cough. “His wounds are clearly taking longer to heal. I’m sure he’s still able to use reverse cursed technique beyond firing red, but his output is definitely dropping…sorry. It’s likely the same for Sukuna, with the damage sustained by his brain.”

But…Satoru can still win...he��s smart and skillful…

You can’t start losing hope, as low as his chance of survival gets. You have to believe in your older brother.

So as you watch him strike Mahoraga with a strong punch and manage to shove him back, you let out a deep breath and start manifesting his success.

“Phase. Pāramitā. Pillars of light.”

You blink with surprise and smile faintly. “He’s reciting his incantations,” you point out in awe.

“He’s trying to restore his decreased output!” Shoko informs everyone as she’s caught by surprise.

“Cursed technique reversal,” Satoru announces, but before he can shoot it Sukuna overwhelms your brother with rabbits that emerge from the ten shadows technique, therefore blocking all sight of him and only making your brother grow ten times more cocky.

“Looks like the black flash worked like a charm,” Satoru says as he keeps his aim locked. “How much longer ‘you gonna rest for?”

An amused smile flashes on your lips before you sit back down and take the bag of chips you had abandoned on your seat, whilst you catch Satoru shoot the red technique and blast through the rabbits to reveal Sukuna and Mahoraga's position.

When your brother sees his opponents he rushes towards Sukuna, and so does Mahoraga. However, before Satoru can get close, Sukuna snatches a fire extinguisher and hurls it at Satoru to blind him once again and catch him by surprise.

You see that play out and you’re tempted to yell at the screens as if that would somehow aid your brother, but you just clench your jaw and hold your breath as you watch Mahoraga appear above your brother. Whilst across from him, Sukuna claps his hands together and bends his legs a little.

“Piercing blood?!” Choso gives out Sukuna’s move, making you swallow thickly and look at your husband with slight fear.

“Would…” you trail off to watch Mahoraga strike his blade down as he lands on the ground, whilst Sukuna shoots piercing blood at your unaware brother.

Nevertheless, by damn luck, Satoru blocks the beast's move and notices the bright blood rushing his way so he manages to block the strike with his unoccupied arm, letting you relieve your lungs by breathing.

“Would his blood be poisonous like yours?” You finally ask Choso the question you held captive at the tip of your tongue when you were watching the move unfold.

Choso looks over at you and meets your shaken gaze. “I don’t know,” he says the truth so as to not fill you with delusion. “Mine and my brothers are, but it could all depend on the user. If Satoru was a cursed spirit I would say yes, but he’s not so I’m not sure. Sorry.”

You draw out a deep breath and nod in comprehension.

“Satoru can surpass poison,” you share quietly, mostly to talk yourself down from stressing out too much. “But it could still affect him if it is poisonous…”

“I don’t think it is, my love, he would’ve felt something already. As small as the effect was,” Choso tries to assure you. “It’s all different depending on the user.”

He’s right. Besides you remember when Naoya was struck with his blood, it affected him right away. Satoru hasn’t twitched or expressed a thing on his face.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you whisper.

Choso holds your anxious gaze and offers you a comforting smile before he takes your hand and interlocks his fingers between yours.

You offer him a grateful smile before you scoot closer to him and return your eyes to the screen, noticing your brother stand across Sukuna and Mahoraga now.

“Don’t misunderstand,” Sukuna breaks his silence with a mischievous widespread smirk. “This isn’t a 2-on-1. Nue. Totality. Fusion Beast Agito.”

From the shadow emerges another beast that causes your heart to skip a beat before it begins to pound.

This one is as tall as Mahoraga, with antlers like a deers, a face like an insect, and a snake for a tail.

Both beasts now protect Sukuna, sending your brother to tease the menacing curse. “Dude, you look like a lost little alien boy,” Satoru makes fun of him, making Sukuna’s smirk widen as he huffs.

You scoff in amusement, but that soon dies as both beasts swing. Your brother manages to escape but Sukuna uses the shadows to appear under Satoru and shoot another piercing blood as he thinks Satoru won’t be able to swerve it.

Yet your brother proves to be much faster, he twirls down and swings his fist down to try and strike Sukuna, but the curse flips back and dodges the attack, making you groan in annoyance.

At the other side of the screen Satoru is caught between both beasts, but before they can hit him, he jumps out of the way and quickly blasts a Red that manages to scrape the beasts, but is it enough?

No. No, it’s not. Damn it!

Albeit that doesn’t discourage your older brother, he still smiles as if he already has a plan thought out.

He’s up against strong odds, but seeing him be hopeful and smug eases your racing nerves, and fights against the fear polluting your mind.

“I’m going too,” you suddenly hear Okkotsu sneer before you notice him storming off.

However, Kashimo quickly tries to stop him. “Get back here.”

He’s not looking out for Okkotsu, you know that after befriending the man and knowing his crazy ambitions.

“Don’t get in the way,” Kashimo snaps as lightning cracks all around him.

You and Choso share a knowing look before you sit straight up and watch the interaction in hopes that Okkotsu actually listens. No matter how much you would love for Okkotsu to help your brother, this isn’t the plan. He’d only be a burden.

“Regardless,” Kashimo goes on. “You aren’t even next in line.”

Okkotsu shows his own ambition and surrounds himself in cursed energy as he glares at the man trying to pull him back from helping his beloved teacher and mentor.

“Cool it, Okkotsu,” Hakari tries to calm his friend down. “Kashimo’s right. Unless he’s weakened to the point that you or I could take him, Gojo told us to hold off.”

“There are extenuating circumstances,” Okkotsu argues as he does attempt to hold back. “Right now Sukuna can’t use his domain. Rika and I can handle the two shikigami. It’ll relieve pressure.”

Yuji gets up and you let go of Choso’s hand to get ready to get in the way of this ridiculous plan.

“If anyone’s going out, it’s me,” Maki cuts in now too, which doesn’t help the situation at hand.

“Screw you,” Kashimo hisses with a bit of lightning sparking off him, expressing his frustration physically. “Gojo, come get these damn students.”

You glance over at him and smirk. “Kashimo you’re behaving like a child. Sizzle down.”

He snarls and you smile in amusement. You would say your own daughter doesn’t throw tantrums like him, but she does, so your argument wouldn’t be valid.

“Insurance that won’t be needed if we win against Sukuna here,” Okkotsu responds to something you didn’t catch because Kashimo distracted you. “We should take the gamble.”

“Okkotsu,” Yuji interjects and you think he’ll have better judgment. “Go for it. It’s necessary.”

Alas. More trouble. Damn, kids.

“Hold it, hold it,” Kusakabe groans. “You damn kids really don’t understand a thing. Come on.”

Both boys hesitate, letting Mei-Mei cut in.

“Listen you all. The conditions for Gojo’s victory are different from that of Sukuna’s. Gojo only needs to beat Sukuna. Because if we all band together, we may be able to handle Kenjaku. It’s different for Sukuna. Even if he wins against Gojo, he’ll need to fight the rest of us afterward without a second to rest.”

“He definitely has an ace up his sleeve,” Hakari points out to try and diffuse the situation. “And if we go out there, he may just use it.”

Okkotsu’s glare hardens before he snaps back. “You’re saying we shouldn’t provoke him?”

“Exactly,” Kusakabe inputs. “There’re still monsters like Uraume lying in wait too. Right now, Sukuna still has to hold back while Gojo is able to go all out with no burden. Right now, this situation maximizes our chances of victory.”

Burden is right. Satoru won’t go all out if his precious students go out to fight with him.

“Are all modern sorcerers this dense?” Kashimo remarks, causing Hakari to quip.

“Huh?”

“You’re all missing the point,” Kashimo ignores Hakari while he keeps his gaze on the screens as the fight unfolds. “This is Satoru Gojo’s battle. No matter what happens, it won’t be right for us to jump in.”

Okkotsu doesn’t seem to resonate with what he heard, so you finally get up and cut in a lot more harshly. “Sit down.” You sneer. “You too Yuji.”

Said boy's eyes drift to you and then his brother as if looking for backup, but Choso agrees with you on this so he says nothing and offers no help, he actually presses a hardened look that makes Yuji back up.

“You will only burden Satoru,” You agree with Kusakabe. “He will see you out there Okkotsu and he will hold back to prevent harming you. Which in turn will lead to Sukuna having an advantage. Do you want Satoru to die because of you?”

Okkotsu blinks repeatedly in surprise, but even if he seems to realize the truth behind your words he still desperately argues back. “You went to help him in Shibuya. He still used his domain.”

You nod. “He did. But it was different, we had no idea what was going on. We had no plan, and I was able to pursue after someone else to give my brother the chance to use his domain and go all out. He wouldn’t have done that if I had stayed with him,” you explain. “Today is different, we have a plan today, you going out there when it’s not necessary will ruin our plan. You will kill Satoru if you go out there now, do you hear me?” You press sharply and step toward him.

Okkotsu swallows thickly and drops his eyes to stare at the ground for a moment before he glances over at the screens and watches your brother go all out against his enemy. He takes a moment and keeps quiet, but it seems that he makes up his mind at that moment because his grip eases on his katana and he faces the screens.

You wait to see if he’ll suddenly change his mind, and when you see that he won’t act on his plan anymore you settle back down in your seat and interject with one more thing with a hopeful smile.

“Besides, don't you have faith that Satoru will find a way out of this mess?”

You do…

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest @natakina

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pengweng-quack · 2 months

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Being a Witch with Vampires

Carlisle Cullen x Witch!OC

Summary: Stella (A witch) and Carlisle (A vampire), and how they blossomed from roommates to friends(?) to partners

Chapter 4/7

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Notes:

This was inspired by this fanfic on tumblr by lis-likes-fics titled "In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised"

This is also on Ao3 under the same title and same username too if you'd like to read it there (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53448940)

Posting is random lol, hope you guys enjoy this story

Word Count: 3710 words

TW for this chapter: None

Timeline: End of New Moon to start of Breaking Dawn (there is some Eclipse moment, just not a lot)

Masterlist

“How are we gonna do this?” Rosalie asked after receiving some sort of message from Emmett in an apparent “Operation: Get Carlisle and Stella to Make Up and Make Out”

“Well, we need to trap them together first.” Emmett said

“Trap who together?” Alice asked, walking in on the two of them discussing

“Stella and Carlisle.” Emmett answered

“Ooh!” Alice said, joining in the discussion

“I heard Carlisle and Stella discussion.” Jasper said, joining the three of them

The four of them started discussing of ways on how to get them to talk to each other again. It was obvious that they didn’t have much planned. That was until a knock on their door was heard

“Who knocks on our house?” Rosalie asked, speeding and opening the door for whoever it was.

“Stella!” Rosalie greeted, a grin on her face spreading

“Where’s Carlisle?” She asked in a rush, her whole body tensed

“You’re talking to him now?” Rosalie asked her with hopeful eyes as Alice, Emmett, and Jasper enters the room, shocked to see Stella

“Where’s Carlisle?” She asked again, and it seemed that she wasn’t gonna let anyone distract her from her main purpose of visiting

“Here.” Carlisle said, it seemed like he had done something but no one could pinpoint what it was

“You and I are having a long chat.” Stella hissed angrily, dragging him in the kitchen of the house by the ear. From the looks of it, Stella could have pulled Carlisle’s ear off in anger.

“Should we worry for him?” Jasper asked, sensing the tensed atmosphere

“No, he’s at fault. He’s getting his karma.” Rosalie said, sensing that they were about to witness an angry witch

“What’s happening?” Edward asked, entering the house with Bella

“Stella and Carlisle.” The four answered in chorus

“You foul vampire!” Stella angrily yelled at the vampire, who was sitting down on one of the island chairs like a child that was about to be scolded “You can’t do that!”

“Dear—

"You can't just leave and come back and think that I'll be accepting you with open arms!" Stella angrily yelled at Carlisle, who cannot do anything other than to listen at her outburst

“You can’t casually send me an email as an apology thinking I will forgive you with just that!” Stella hissed, shaking from holding back her tears

“Because you know I will!” Stella yelled, frustratingly running her hands through her hair “You know I’ll always forgive you, I just wanted to hear it from you instead of some stupid email!”

"Stella—

"You can’t just persuade me to join a night’s out and get me to go home only to have all of you gone!” Stella continued, her tone louder than the last

“You can’t do that!” She cried, pointing her fingers at him and doing everything in her power, literally and figuratively, to not show weakness at this vampire she once trusted

However, she was unable to conceal it from Carlisle. As the next thing she knew was how she felt Carlisle’s cold but comforting arms around her, pulling her closer to him, and allowing her to cry on his chest. Stella always hid any sort of weakness to anyone, in fear that it would be used against her. It’s what they taught to her growing up. But she felt vulnerable, knowing that the guy she had discovered to be her mate may and can abandon her at any time.

Carlisle had never seen Stella break down as she did now in all the centuries that they've known each other. He was devastated to learn that he was the one who had led her to have such a big breakdown. He had long suspected that she was his mate, and his suspicions had been confirmed. And it was only after he departed that he understood how badly he screwed things up. Because he opted to depart rather than remain with her. He opted to be self-centered. With his selfishness came the risk of losing his mate by his side.

“I’m sorry.” Carlisle muttered repeatedly, rubbing her back and holding her close to him. He vows on that day to never leave her again; he has all of eternity to fix his relationship with her. And he’s gonna start now.

“My confident witch, my star, my Stella, I’m so sorry for hurting you this way.” He whispered, leaving pecks of assurance on the temples of her head “It was selfish of me to leave you after what had happened.”

“You l-left.” Stella cried, though it was muffled from the fabric of Carlisle’s shirt “You a-all left. You left u-us.”

“And it was the worst mistake that ever came across my mind.” Carlisle comforted, rubbing her back and playing with her hair “Leaving you is the worst mistake that I have ever done. And I apologize for hurting you this way.”

Carlisle made no attempt to make her stop because she deserved to let out all of the grief that she had been holding in for months in order to be strong for both herself and Bella.

“I’m sorry mi amor,” Carlisle hushed, looking at Stella’s swollen face “I will never, ever leave you again. Unless you want me to.”

“N-no.” Stella argued almost immediately “Never leave like that again, I need you.”

“Then I will never leave.” Carlisle decided at once “You will never be alone again, I will be with you from now on until the end of eternity.”

“You better be.” Stella said, a small laugh coming out her lips

“Come, it seems like you haven’t gotten a lot of rest.” Carlisle offered

“Will you be there when I wake up?” Stella asked, looking at him with hopeful eyes

“I will be with you until my heart stops beating.” Carlisle announced at one

Stella blushed at what Carlisle had said, wanting nothing more than to hold on to Carlisle’s words. She was still wary, Carlisle knew that. But he had all of eternity to prove that he would never leave her like that again.

And that eternity starts today.

“What’s happening?” Bella asked everyone who was listening intently just outside the kitchen

“Either we’re getting Stella back in this house, or I’m throwing Edward for suggesting that we leave Forks.” Rosalie said in an annoyed tone, getting Emmett to have a small proud smile on his face

"Let's not blame each other." Bella said, trying to ease the atmosphere

"Stella and Carlisle have always had this sort of relationship where you don't know if they're together or not. I can't possibly be at fault alone." Edward defensively said

“They’re each other’s mate!” Rosalie hissed angrily “They know that! And we know that!”

“Carlisle wouldn’t be this protective of Stella if she wasn’t his mate.” Jasper agreed with Rosalie

“I can’t believe we have a coven leader who has never asked his mate to be with him for eternity.” Emmett said, showing frustration at how Carlisle handles his relationship with Stella

“Because we play a part in getting them together.” Alice said, just finishing having a vision

“What’d you mean?” Edward asked, even though he could read into her mind

“We plan it out.” Bella said in realization “We see what we can do to actually get them to tell each other what they feel, given that they haven't said anything to each other yet.”

“What are you thinking?” Rosalie asked, hopeful that Bella actually had a plan on helping Carlisle and Stella to be together. It was the first time that Rosalie actually wanted to listen to her

“What are you planning?” Stella’s voice boomed from outside the kitchen, Carlisle behind her like some lost puppy

“Nothing!” All of them said in chorus. Even though Stella knew that it wasn’t just ‘nothing’

“Come, you need some rest.” Carlisle invited, his arms making its way to rest on Stella’s waist

“I think the fuck not.” Rosalie said, walking to Stella and hugging her, pulling her away from Carlisle “I missed you so so so much!”

“If it ever comes down to choosing between you and Carlisle, count me on your team.” Emmett teased, hugging Stella next as Rosalie pulled away

“Count me in too!” Alice gleefully said, tackling Stella in a tight hug

“Just for Carlisle, I’ll stay with him.” Jasper joked before hugging Stella “But I will make sure to miss you every day and influence Carlisle with it too.”

Edward was last, he was awkward while moving to Stella and facing her. He had a speech in mind before Stella tackled him to a hug

“Never ever be a dumbass again.” Stella said, feeling Edward hug her back

Carlisle watched as they all hug Stella, a content smile on his face. He didn’t know what could still happen, seeing as Bella was still human and Stella was on the Volturi’s watchlist.

But he was now back with his confident witch.

All is well.

~2006~

“Fighting again?” Stella asked an anxious Carlisle

“A newborn army, and no, you’re not joining the fight. You’re staying with Bella and Edward.” Carlisle quickly instructed, earning a groan from Stella

“I’m not babysitting two horny teenagers!” Stella argued, while Edward let out a ‘hey’ from upstairs “I’m gonna fight!”

“You’re not gonna—

“Who are you to stop me?” Stella asked in a dangerous tone

Her question caught Carlisle off guard. Who was he to be this protective of her? Was he willing to let her know his suspicion that she was his mate?

“I know I’m your mate and all but come on!” Stella whined “You can't be too protective of me, especially when I'm capable of handling myself. What good is being the blessed witch of today if I never use my abilities?”

“You know I’m your mate?” Carlisle asked, a hint of glee in his tone

“And you ignored the other part, of course you ignored the—

Carlisle had lost control of himself, 286 years of being with her, 280 years of pining. He ran in and grabbed her by the waist, kissing her on the lips in the process. The warmth of her body was pressed against the coldness of his. It was contrasting but it was perfect for the both of them. Her warm hands found its way to rest on his chest, taking support. They would have continued in that position for much longer if it hadn't been for the witch's need to breathe.

“I’ve waited bit too long for that.” Stella teased, wrapping her arms around Carlisle’s neck. The both of them having giddy smiles on their face

“I hope it was worth the wait.” Carlisle teased back, before going in for another kiss, pulling her closer to him

"Carlisle, we have train— that explains the emotions." Jasper said, seeing what was happening between their coven leader and his strong witch

"It's not what it looks like." Carlisle said defensively, pulling away from Stella. Before leaving the room, Jasper only nodded. But Stella knew he wasn't going to believe anything Carlisle said, especially since they'd all been waiting decades for them to get together.

“You seem so offended with the thought of us together.” Stella said, crossing her arms, and frowning at Carlisle

“Mi amor, I've been waiting for this for a long time; all I ask is that they don't find out through Jasper or Edward's abilities.” Carlisle comforted, wrapping his arms around Stella’s body. Smiling as he rests his head on her shoulders

“We have training!” Emmett shouted from outside the door, most likely receiving instructions from Jasper not to burst in.

There were flying bodies everywhere. All the vampires are being destroyed by the Cullens or by the wolves.

“Carlisle, watch out!” Stella screamed, too far away to help Carlisle since two vampires were focusing their attacks on her.

Rosalie stepped in to help Stella beat the two vampires. Carlisle ran up behind Stella, refusing to be separated from her for the remainder of the fight. They were each other's eyes and ears, guarding one other against the vampires that wanted them dead.

The two was about to kill another vampire, though she showed hesitancy in fighting back. Carlisle looked at Stella, who was already looking at him, and knew what this would mean for them. She was young and it looked like she didn’t even know that this was the purpose as to why she was changed.

And soon, the battle between the newborns and the Cullens and wolves came to an end. Edward informed everyone that the Volturi are coming and that the wolves should leave. Carlisle informed their pack leader that he would follow soon to take care of Jacob, who had his bones broken from a newborn.

“Impressive. I've never seen a coven escape an assault of this magnitude intact.” Jane said, seeing glimpses of the burning vampires

“It’s only because they have a witch on their side.” Alec said, a chuckle escaping his lips

“What would a weakling like her do to an assault like this?” Jane snickered “Surprised that she’s still alive.”

“She’s more than capable of fending for herself.” Carlisle said, pushing Stella behind him.

Even though he knew Stella was capable of protecting him and herself, he was still afraid. He left the Volturi on bad terms centuries ago, but he didn't simply disappear. He pulled Stella into his mess, dragging her into the messy world of being a vampire in a world full of vampires that didn't think witches and humans were worth anything. He was now afraid that this was his long-awaited retribution, and that Stella would be the one to pay the price.

“It appears we missed an entertaining fight.” Alec said, looking at the vampire bodies burning near them

“Yes.” Jane agreed “It's not often we're rendered unnecessary.”

“If you'd arrived a half hour ago, you would've fulfilled your purpose.” Edward said, in annoyance of the Volturi’s presence

“Pity.” Jane said, before her eyes averted on the newborn behind Carlisle and Stella “You missed one.”

“She’s with us now.” Stella immediately said, taking a step forward

“We offered her asylum in exchange for her surrender.” Carlisle added, backing his confident witch up

“That wasn’t yours to offer.” Jane disagreed

“Nor should you offer any punishment as she surrendered herself.” Stella argued before stabs of pain was in her body. Stella let out a yell, dropping to the floor, and realizing that Jane was using her abilities on her.

“Stop!” Carlisle yelled, shaking Stella as she groans from the pain “She has nothing to do with this!”

“Oh, she has everything to do with this.” Jane said, looking at her

With Jane’s comment, she launched one more assault on Stella, knocking her out cold because of the excruciating anguish she was experiencing.

“She’s waking up! Call Carlisle!” Stella heard a voice call, and multiple footsteps come in and out the room. But what was dominant was the pain in her head.

“Carlisle is in the middle of a surgery!” Another voice yelled, knowing that Carlisle would want to do some check-ups on her before allowing her to go back to moving around

“How are you feeling?” Alice’s sweet voice asked, trying to block the noise from everyone that was panicking

“Shit.” Stella muttered, opening her eyes and adjusting to the bright light of the room

“How does it feel, Jane’s power?” Bella asked her, wiping her forehead with cold wipes

“Like thousands of knives have been stabbed in me, but not so much.” Stella explained “How long have I been out?”

“Like 6 days or so.” Bella answered “Carlisle has been more anxious lately since he expected you to wake up after 3 days.”

“Do you want anything?” Rosalie asked

“Carlisle, maybe.” Stella said, frowning from the lack of presence from her vegetarian vampire

“Of course, she’ll ask for Carlisle.” Jasper grinned, knowing how much information he and Edward were withholding from those who couldn't sense emotions or read minds.

“Carlisle’s on the phone, he wants to talk to Stella.” Edward said as Bella and Alice helped Stella to sit up. Stella grabs the phone from Carlisle and ushered everyone out the room to give a little bit of privacy between him and her

“Hello, mi amor.” Carlisle greeted, and even if he wasn’t in the room, Stella knew that he had a wide grin on his face

“Hi Carlisle.” Stella greeted back, a soft smile creeping on her face

“How are you feeling love?” Carlisle asked

“I don’t know how to explain it.” Stella answered honestly

“Throw words, I’ll understand you.” Carlisle comforted. Despite the fact that she knew it was because he was a doctor, Stella felt butterflies in her stomach because Carlisle seemed to understand her effortlessly, despite the fact that what she was saying no longer made sense.

“Dear, I know that I have my way to your heart, but you have to let me know what you’re feeling.” Carlisle teased Stella, followed by a light giggle, in an attempt to bring her back to her senses.

“It’s just there’s pain in my body.” Stella started explaining “Like there’s something in me just poking my head and sending pain all over.”

“Anything more?” Carlisle asked with a hum

“I don’t know. I think I just need my vampire with me at the moment.” Stella said in a low voice but she knew Carlisle got that

“Well, your vampire is needed at the hospital at the moment. Would you like any of the vampire kids to substitute in the time being?” Carlisle asked her “Or human, if you’re preferring Bella right now.”

“Eh, we’ll see later.” Stella shrugged “You go back to work now; I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Yes, you better stay in bed and rest, mi amor.” Carlisle reminded her

“But—

“If I get informed by any of the others that you left bed today. I won’t give you your daily cuddles.” Carlisle threatened, earning an angry gasp from Stella “I have not done any of my check up to you, I’ll need to make sure that you’re perfectly alright now.”

“Fine.” Stella could only mutter angrily before ending the call

“They’re together, aren’t they?” Rosalie asked from outside the door. They shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but it was Carlisle and Stella, and they have been waiting forever for them to end up together

“No.” Jasper and Edward answered at once

“Are you serious?” Emmett asked

“Yeah, they haven’t made anything official yet.” Edward answered to them

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

Edward and Bella were on their honeymoon at Isla Stella, an island Carlisle bought for her way back the 1900’s, spending time alone as a newlywed couple while the rest of the Cullens stayed back.

“100 dollars, and we’re coming back with vampire Bella.” Emmett said, throwing the 100 dollars on the coffee table

“100 dollars and we’re not coming back with vampire Bella.” Rosalie intervened, throwing her 100 dollars next to Emmett’s 100 dollars

“Not coming back with vampire Bella.” Jasper said, throwing his 100 dollars with Rosalie’s money

“1000 dollars in the not having vampire Bella yet.” Alice said, grabbing 1000 dollars and placing it with Rosalie and Jasper’s money

“Are you betting the outcome of their honeymoon?” Stella asked, walking in and seeing the dollars on the table

“…no?” Rosalie answered, though it came out like a question

“2000 dollars and we’re not having vampire Bella until later.” Stella said, using her magic to make 2000 dollars appear on her hands and dropping it on the coffee table

“I don’t think so though.” Emmett disagreed, grabbing his wallet and dropping at least 300 more dollars on the table “I saw what Alice packed for Bella, I think dear Edward is to lose control.”

“Are you betting about Edward and Bella?” Carlisle asked, resting his body on the doorway. Stella turned around and saw her vampire, wearing a fitted button up sleeve that made her witch heart beat just a teeny bit faster

“Yes.” Stella confessed, a cheeky grin on her face

“What did I say about betting?” Carlisle reminded everyone

“That they shouldn’t do it with me.” Stella answered for them, grinning widely at him

“You really are a bad influence to our kids.” Carlisle said, an endearing smile on his face as he moves to where she was, resting his hand on her waist and pecking her forehead

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice exchanged smirking glances. They could see where this was going and couldn't wait. It had been much too long since they had known and had this kind of connection, and it was time for them to be together.

“You love me.” Stella teased, a giddy smile on her face

And before Carlisle could answer, Rosalie’s phone started ringing.

“Bella?” Rosalie asked as she answered the phone

“I need your help.” Bella said

Edward and Bella were returning the next day. Bella's baby bump was visible, and Edward remained silent. Carlisle began using ultrasounds, but none of them were able to penetrate the fetal sac. And Alice was not seeing the kid or Bella in the future. Stella went through all of her literature, looking for anything on a human-vampire relationship. Looking for anything that could be of assistance.

“Shit.” Stella said in realization, understanding that she has to leave.

And when everyone was out looking for food at night. Stella gathered some of her belongings into a tiny suitcase and informed Bella and Jacob of her plans. Bella's eyes showed the grief of Stella's departure, but she accepted after some persuasion. She grabbed one of Carlisle's shirts before heading out, just to have a small remembrance of her home.

Bidding her goodbyes to Bella and Jacob, Stella quickly flew up in the sky. So high that she wasn’t gonna be visible down where the Cullens were hunting. She didn’t think that the day will come where she’ll have to come back to where it all started. She was anxious, but she didn’t want to leave her family in the dark.

She was sure that Italy had some answers to her questions.

#alice cullen #bella swan #carlisle cullen #carlisle cullen x reader #edward cullen #jasper hale #no esme on this one (i love her though i promise)#rosalie hale #twilight saga #emmett cullen #twilight renaissance #twilight x reader #the cullens #twilight #carlisle x reader #carlisle cullen imagine #carlisle cullen fanfiction #carlisle cullen x you

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whoreteen · 2 years

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in her shadow (chapter I)

➸ pairing: jeonghan x reader. ➸ word count: 5,2K. ➸ status: ongoing. ➸ genre: angst, slow burn, romance, idol!au, strangers to lovers, fluff, humor, forbidden relationship!au, mutual pining. (+ smut in upcoming chapters!) ➸ summary: you never were the one to fall in love but, just when you think you might’ve found the one, he turns out to be your estranged bitch of a sister’s fiancé. you and jeonghan both know better but, he can’t help but wish he’d met you first, thinking you’re a far better match for him than she’d ever be. #trusttheprocessordon’t

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“Why do I even have to go to this thing?” you complain, your hand fluffing your hair a little.

You know it’s a big deal - like, it isn’t every day that your older sister gets engaged, but still… you don’t see why you had to go. You don’t like Nina, not really, and, have no interest in meeting her latest ‘fiancé’. You don’t see the point. She’s flighty, never stays with one man for very long and, even if she’s engaged to the latest one, you honestly doubt it’ll last. She’s famed for her wandering eye and, is definitely sure to get bored soon enough.

“Because she is your sister,” your dad says matter of factly, his hands shepherding you.

“And? We all know she’ll get bored in a few weeks and call her ‘wedding’ off,” you remark, making your way through the swanky hotel lobby. It’s Nina’s trademark, flashy parties celebrating stupid little things, and you’re honestly getting more and more bored of them.

Since you had turned 18 years previous, she’d been engaged to three different men, something which irked you. You’d had just one boyfriend in those three years, it hardly seems fair that your sister had three whole different fiancés.

“Quit whining, at least we get a free meal,” your little brother muses with a laugh.

You offer him a little glare before you fix a smile on your face, watching as Nina skitters towards you, her face held in her perfect smile. “I’m so glad that you guys could make it,” she smiles.

“Oh, we wouldn’t have missed it for the world, darling,” your mother coos, leaning across to kiss her eldest daughter on the cheek. Nina flashes you all another smile before her name is called, something which makes her turn away for a second.

“You guys should mingle,” she quips over her shoulder. You want to roll your eyes, but refrain, noting the stern stare that your father has fixed on you. “I’ll try and catch up with you later.” She smiles before skittering away.

You glare after your sister a little before your brother takes your arm, leading you towards the buffet table.

“She’s so fake it’s unreal,” you murmur over the loud music as you watch him collect a plate, helping himself to the fancy buffet that had been set up.

“You’re acting like you are surprised,” he quips, his mouth half full of shrimp.

“I’m not surprised, I’m just sick of playing the supportive sister. I feel for the poor guy who proposed to her.”

Nina has a reputation; she falls in love too quickly and then breaks hearts, something which makes you feel bad because, yet another man has offered his heart up to her and, he’s sure to go the same way as the rest, shipped off before the wedding day even dawned.

“Did we even meet this one?” your brother asks, placing yet more food onto his plate.

You shake your head. “I don’t think so, but I’m sure he doesn’t deserve what she’s bound to do. She has a habit of ruining good men,” you say softly. Your brother nods in agreement before he spots an empty table, leading you towards it.

“Bro, why on earth are you marrying her?” Seungcheol poses, an amused smile playing on his lips.

Jeonghan sips on his drink and offers a meek shrug, not quite sure how to respond. He knows it’s sudden; his engagement to his girlfriend, but he isn’t quite sure how it’d come about. One moment they’d been dating, the next, Nina had a ring sat on her finger and was telling anyone and, everyone that she’s to be his wife.

If he’s being honest, he isn’t upset by it, he loves Nina but… For some reason, it just seems a little sudden to him. They haven’t been together long and, even though he knows he loves her, he isn’t entirely certain he wants to get married to her.

“Judging by the look on his face, I don’t think even he knows,” Seokmin pokes, a smile etched onto his face.

Jeonghan sneers a little before he moves away, spotting a spare seat at a table. He knows his friends are curious, everything’s happened a little too quickly, but he’s so sick of being asked questions. He’s engaged to Nina, what else really needed to be said?

“Excuse me, that’s my seat.”

Jeonghan’s head wheels around at the sound of the timid voice. It’s soft, kind, and he’s entranced by the sound of it.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, standing up once more. “I thought it was vacant.”

You spare him a shake of your head. “My brother sent me to the bar. I don’t know where he is now,” you say, your eyes scanning the other empty seat. Jeonghan eyes it too before he sits down in it, offering you the other seat. You smile at him and sit down, pushing some of your hair away from your eyes.

“I’m Jeonghan,” he quips.

“Y/N,” you return.

He nods his head a little before he eyes the spare champagne flute in your hand. “Do you mind if I take it?”

You shake your head, extending the glass to him. You’d intended to give it to your brother, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Are you looking for someone?” the cute boy asks as he takes the glass from your hand, his soft fingers purposely brushing over yours.

“My brother, he promised he’d chill with me. I’m not one for making small talk with strangers.”

Jeonghan spares a little laugh. “You seem to be doing it pretty well with me. I must be special,” he teases. You offer him a playful look as you smile, biting your lip a little.

He offers you a kind smile, sipping his drink before questioning, “So how do you know the bride-to-be?”

You roll your eyes. “Unfortunately, that is my sister.”

He swallows a little, amazed that the timid girl ahead of him could be related to his rather outspoken fiancée. You were complete, polar opposites.

“Unfortunately?” he asks.

You nod your head. “She’s got a little bit of a reputation. I feel so bad for the fool who dared to put a ring on it.”

His face flicks a little with a mix of emotions as he awkwardly sips his drink once more.

Noting the strange expression, you sigh. “You’re him aren’t you?”

He looks up at you, nodding his head before quoting your rather rude statement, “I’m the fool who put a ring on it.”

“Fuck, I am an idiot,” you huff as you fall into the seat beside your brother, Jay, your hands hiding your face.

He offers you a look. “I know that, but what makes you say it?” he teases.

You roll your eyes a little. You’re mortified, you can’t believe how dismissive you’ve been in front of Jeonghan, and you know you have to make it right. There’s the smallest chance that the gorgeous man really was the one for your sister and, that he really could become your brother in law.

“I… just met Jeonghan,” you mutter, your voice soft and, timid in tone.

“And that makes you an idiot why?” he quips, cocking an eyebrow. “I thought meeting the latest victim was the idea of this party?”

“It is, but I just inadvertently told him that Nina has a reputation,” you announce. Jay’s mouth forms a small ’o’ before he lets out a little laugh, amused by your embarrassment. He knows that you don’t like your sister, she’s far too selfish for your own good, but he also knows that you still love her for some odd reason, evil or not, you’d never do anything to deliberately sabotage her.

“She’s so going to kill you,” he chuckles, stuffing yet another piece of food into his mouth.

Rolling your eyes, you groan before ranting, “It’s not like I meant to bad mouth her to him, I was just venting. How the fuck could I know the handsome guy I was talking to was her latest fiancé?”

“Handsome? I’m honored.” Your body stiffens as the voice enters your ears.

Jay, who’s been chewing on yet another piece of prawn, pauses for a moment, his eyes widening at the sight of the idol who stands behind you.

You shake your head at your brother before you turn to face Jeonghan, your entire body focussing on keeping the blush from your cheeks.

“Fuck, I thought I’d embarrassed myself enough for one night.”

Jeonghan offers you a melodic laugh and a soft smile. “You ran off so fast earlier I never got a chance to tell you that it didn’t matter.”

He’s not an idiot, he obviously knows all about your sister’s past, but from his point of view, you’d never given him the chance to tell you that as you bolted as soon as the realisation hit you.

“You know?” you ask softly.

He nods. “Nina’s never exactly been discrete,”

It’s true, she was forever in the tabloids and she’d never made much of a secret of her past.

You nod in agreement. “I’m still so sorry for what I said. I’m sure that you’re the right man for my sister,” you muse, forcing all of your enthusiasm into your words but, you don’t believe it of course. Sadly, Jeonghan is just another one in a very long line, but you want to pretend, at least for his sake.

He offers you a soft smile before he hears Nina’s voice, beckoning him to her side. “I should go,” he smiles, his thumb jutting back over his shoulder.

You nod before shooting him a smile. He seems cute, you think to yourself. You really like talking to him, he’s a little quirky, and very friendly, but you also know better than to cross your sister.

“If you’re still around a bit later, we should grab a drink.”

You cock an eyebrow.

“What?” he chuckles before teasing, “Can’t a man get to know his future sister-in-law?”

You stiffen a little at the mention of the words, feeling uncomfortable with the idea of being his sister-in-law, but you‘re not about to let it show. When it’s all said and done, you didn’t know Jeonghan, for all you know he could have been the type to rat you out to your sister.

“If I am around,” you say. He offers you another smile before he walks away.

“You need to nip that in the bud,” you brother tells you, snapping you out of your little daydream. You’ve been staring after Jeonghan and turn, offering your brother a confused look.

“You think I’ve never seen the googly eyes before Y/N?” he scoffs as your cheeks redden. “He’s her fiancé, you really need to get a grip,” he notes before he moves away.

“So how about that drink?”

You jump at the sound of Jeonghan’s voice. You’ve been avoiding him of course, your brother’s warning still ringing in your ears, but clearly you haven’t done the best job. In the large ballroom, Jeonghan has still managed to pick you out, even despite your best efforts at hiding.

“Uh I d-don’t think that’s such a good idea,” you stutter, your eyes fixed anywhere but his.

“And why not?” he asks.

You shake your head a little. “Because it’s getting a little late and I… um, I really need to be on my way,” you lie. You had nowhere to be, you just didn’t want to be around him. Jay was right, you had been making googly eyes, and you didn’t want to get caught. Your sister would never forgive you for looking at him in that way.

“That’s funny,” he quips, his eyebrow slightly raised.

“Why?” you return, still doing anything possible to not make eye contact with him, knowing you’ll fold on the spot.

“I just had a conversation with your parents and they said you were staying here for the night,” he says with a little smirk causing your face to redden as you internally curse your parents. “Are you trying to avoid me or something?” he asks, an earnest look appearing on his features.

You admire the expression for a few seconds, it makes him look even more handsome, not that it’s even possible. He’s on the verge of being god-like at this point and, you can’t stop admiring him.

“Y/N, if I have done anything to upset you-”

You quickly shake your head, cutting him off mid-sentence. “It isn’t you…”

“Then why can’t we get a drink? You’re the one member of your family that hasn’t gawked at me like I’m some form of alien,” he complains.

You can see in his eyes that he thinks he’s made a friend in you and really wants to spend more time with you. For him, it’s like you’re a breath of fresh air in comparison to your parents and siblings.

You want to shake your head, to walk in the opposite direction and not look back, but the look on his face is ridiculous. He looks like a wounded fucking puppy and there’s no turning him down.

“Fine, but just one. I don’t want Nina getting the wrong idea,” you quip, only half joking.

His face splits into a smile. “Great!” he beams, his hand wrapping around your wrist. You flash an awkward smile before following along. Your brother was right, you did need to get a grip.

“Please, don’t make me go,” you complain as you move to tie the laces of your shoes. To be honest, you’d seen it coming, your sister was so insistent on rubbing every little thing in your face, but you hadn’t expected your parents to jump in and force you into yet another social occasion with her and Jeonghan.

“You’re her sister Y/N,” your mom mutters, her hand fluffing her hair.

“And? Jay’s her brother, I don’t see him getting ready to go,” you point out, your hand gesturing to your brother who sat on your parents’ couch, a smug smirk fixed on his features.

“Your brother has a date. He and Sua are heading out.”

You offer your brother a glare before you push yourself up. “Fine, but you owe me for this,” you complain.

Your mom rolls her eyes a little before she scans your body, her nose wrinkling a little. “Don’t you think you could dress a little more… I don’t know, feminine?”

You want to roll your eyes, she had never appreciated how you dressed. “Mom, we’re going to a festival, not a fashion shoot. If anything, you are over dressed,” you quip, your own nose wrinkling at your mother’s choice of outfit. She scoffs a little before she makes her way out of the door, you and your dad following along obediently.

The minute you arrive at the venue, you already feel annoyed and completely fed up by your family’s behavior. “So which group is Jeonghan in?” Your mom fawns as she greets Nina, glancing at the different idol groups. You roll your eyes. You don’t see why they had even bothered, it’s painfully obvious that no one other than you has the slightest idea what’s happening, but you know your parents and sister would never admit it. They’re stuck up like that.

“I think he’s in that group,” Nina titters proudly, pointing at Stray Kids, “The ones with the cool outfits.”

You roll your eyes once again. “He is in Seventeen, the ones wearing all black,” you snap, suddenly feeling annoyed as your hand gestures to the group that had just taken to the stage.

“And how do you know? I didn’t think you were a kpop fan,” she hisses, offering you a look.

“I’m not, but I can see Jeonghan from here. He’s wearing black.”

She peeks over the railing at little and flushes, her eyes noticing her fiancé. ”So he is,” she notes.

You offer an insincere smile before you make your way out onto the balcony, taking your seat in amongst the other VIP fans.

“Has she always been so rude?” Nina comments loudly, turning to your parents.

“I bet she’s just jealous,” your dad smiles, his hand settling on her shoulder.

“She has a lot to be jealous of, dear,” your mom adds, which causes you to roll your eyes. Nina smiles at them before her phone buzzes, causing her to leave the venue.

“I hear your fiancée is in the venue,” Chan notes as the boys change into their stage outfits.

“Yeah,” Jeonghan returns. “She wanted her family to see me perform.” In all honestly though, he knows Nina is merely showing him off, but he really hasn’t had it in him to argue with her. In the nearly two weeks since their engagement party, she’d become so much more clingy and, he’s so sick of fighting with her. He always ends up caving anyway, what’s the point in prolonging the inevitable?

“Does that mean her sister is here?” Soonyoung asks.

“Y/N? I’m not sure,” Jeonghan says, shrugging. Deep inside, he hopes you are, he likes spending time with you, but he also doubts he’ll have the chance. Nina is overly protective and doesn’t like to share him, even if it’s with his friends.

“I think you picked the wrong sister, bro. Y/N is so damn fine.” Joshua chuckles, earning agreements from the others.

“She’s a nice girl, but she’s hardly my type,” Jeonghan returns nonchalantly as he shrugs. He’s lying - you’re more his type than your sister would ever be, but he knows he can’t let on. His friends doesn’t like Nina as it is, any sign of a weakness in their relationship, they’re sure to pounce.

“She may not be your type, but she might be mine,” Wonwoo quips teasingly, earning a low chuckle and a high-five from Joshua. Immediately Jeonghan’s eyes shot up. He knows his friends are ‘joking’, but still the idea that someone else sees something in you makes his blood boil for some reason, and he doesn’t understand why.

“Are you alright there, bro?” Seungcheol asks as he pulls his shirt on. Jeonghan swallows a little and nods his head, forcing a smile.

“Y/N?”

You turn at the sound of your name and smile, your eyes looking at Jeonghan who wore a confused expression on his handsome features.

“Hey,” you smile, “You were great.”

He returns it softly before he looks around once more, obviously trying to spot Nina who’d promised she would be waiting for him. You note the look on his face and sigh. “She left. Her and my parents got bored.”

“Oh...” he murmurs, ”She said she would be here.”

Your heart shudders at the sad look that he wore on his face. “I’m sure she’ll be next time,” you smile, but Jeonghan shakes his head bitterly.

“I guess I’d convinced myself that she cares. I know she isn’t into our music like that, but I’ve been to every single one of her shoots since we got together, I just… I thought she could suffer through this,” he says frustratingly, running a hand through his damp hair.

You swallow a little before you push yourself up, enveloping him in an awkward half hug. He stiffens a little at the contact before he places his arms around you.

“How soon into the show did she go?” he murmurs as he holds you close to him.

You shift a little and move out of his arms, your eyes peeking up into his. “Do you honestly want to know?” you question. He drops his arms to his side and nods.

“10 minutes. Second song,” you announce softly. He grimaces a little, it was during their new single, Darling.

“For what it is worth, my sister missed out on a great concert. I have never quite seen a rapper like S.Coups,” you say with a surprised expression.

“Why, you’re not a fan?” he pokes playfully.

You shake your head. “I was more into Western music growing up and my dad never let me listen to rap, he said it wasn’t ladylike,” you explain with a laugh, blushing a little.

“Well, you’re grown now, you should listen to our music and come to our shows more often,” he teases, the hurt fading off his face.

“I might just do that,” you tease back, a contagious smile etched onto your face.

“I know the boys would like you, you made quite the impression at the party the other week.”

“Oh? I did notice the stares,” you smirk. “I thought they thought I was lost,” you add, a small laugh escaping your lips.

“No, they think I picked the wrong sister,” he muses. You stiffen a little, your cheeks flushing.

Jeonghan notes the blush and shakes his head, sensing he had overstepped the mark. “I’m so sorry for saying that.”

You shake your head, “It’s nothing. Just a joke between friends right?”

Jeonghan smiles and nods his head. “A joke between friends,” he confirms before his phone buzzes, causing him to excuse himself. You watch him go and sigh.

Friends. That was all you were, just friends.

“I was thinking a week in Dubai for our honeymoon,” Nina says between mouthfuls of salad, smiling at Jeonghan. She’d been off work for a little while and had decided to surprise him with a visit to the gym quickly followed by a ‘pleasant’ healthy lunch in town.

In all honestly, he didn’t want to go, he was stressed after the double session that his choreographer had forced upon the group, but he also knew better than to turn Nina down. The last time he’d dodged her invite, she’d threatened to leave him, telling him that he needed to prioritize.

“Dubai? I was thinking more of Hawaii,” he returns. Only because he wanted to get out of Asia, to spend a little time in the sun with his new wife, but from the look on her face, he doubts it’s going to happen. She wants Dubai and Nina Y/L/N always gets what she wants. “Dubai sounds wonderful baby, I’ll start looking for flights,” he concedes, forcing a fake smile on his lips.

She spares him a wide grin before her phone buzzes, causing her to look down at it. “Teddy needs me back at the studio,” she mutters, tossing her napkin back onto the table.

“Right now? We’re in the middle of lunch, Nina,” he complains.

She rolls her eyes a little before she pushes herself up, pressing a rather sloppy kiss against his lips. “I need to go Hannie. I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” she says before she scampers away, leaving him sat all alone in the middle of the restaurant.

Jeonghan sighs. He was used to it, she rarely spends any personal time with him, but still it hurts to have her up and leave. He just wanted a moment, a second where she actually seemed to love him like he loved her.

“Alone?” Jeonghan’s ears prick up at the sound of the familiar voice.

“I was having lunch with your sister,” he returns, his face lighting up at the sight of you. He’s in awe - you look so beautiful, your hair is tied back, your beautiful eyes are shining, and the mere sight of you just makes him smile. He has grown a little closer to you since the festival and, he’s so glad he has, you’re such a welcoming change from your sister and her stuck up actress and model friends.

“But let me guess, something came up?” you tease, your body sitting in Nina’s vacant seat.

“How’d you know?” he teases back, his eyes fixed on you.

You offer him a little shrug. “She used to do it to me all of the time, she’d get a text and then she’d up and leave. It stops being surprising after a while.”

Jeonghan nods a little before allowing his eyes to scan the restaurant, looking for the person who appeared to be missing their lunch date.

“I’m here with friends,” you quip as you notice the curious look on his face. “You should come and join us, you look a little lonely over here,” you tease, smiling a little as you move to stand up again. You’d merely been passing and know your friends would get curious if you don’t come back soon.

“Your friends wouldn’t mind?” he asks and you instantly shake your head. “Then I would love to,” he grins brightly, his hands picking up his plate. You giggle a little before you lead him across the restaurant to your friends.

“There you are Y/N, we’d worried you’d gotten lost.”

“I went to the bathroom Minhyuk, not to the Arctic, I think I can remember the way,” you say, poking your tongue out a little.

Minhyuk laughs slightly before he turns his eyes, studying Jeonghan’s slightly awkward frame. “Guys, this is Jeonghan, he’s Nina’s fiancé,” you say as you place his plate ahead of an empty chair.

He offers your friends a weak wave, a little uncomfortable with being the focus of the two pairs of eyes. “You’re the poor guy that’s marrying the evil bitch- I mean witch?” Minhyuk says, his nose wrinkling a little.

You roll your eyes and slap the back of his head, causing him to jerk forwards a little in his seat. “Watch it. She’s still my sister,” you murmur before you move back to you seat.

“Sorry for him, I’m Yeejin,” Yeejin smiles as she glares at her boyfriend.

Jeonghan waves a hand, smiling. “It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.”

“Wait, so you know about Nina and still proposed?” Minhyuk exclaims. Both you and Yeejin glare at him causing Jeonghan to chuckle softly. Your friend is a little outspoken, but you can tell from the way Jeonghan smiles that he likes him, he’s always hated people keeping their thoughts to themselves.

Watching you and your friends, he smiles to himself, glad he’s accepted your offer to join them. He’s thought it’d be awkward, they are your friends after all not his, but he’s come to like Yeejin and Minhyuk, they aren’t quite like his other friends nor are they like Nina’s, they’re funny if a little exuberant.

“I need to visit the little girls’ room. Yeejin?” you muse as you stand from your seat. Yeejin offers a little nod before you move away, leaving Jeonghan with Minhyuk.

“How long have you liked her?”

Jeonghan frowns a little. It’s blunt, rude, but from the look on Minhyuk’s face, he had meant it exactly that way.

“Liked who?” he replies nonchalantly, taking a sip of his drink.

Minhyuk rolls his eyes. “You know who, Y/N. The way you look at her makes it obvious,” he says in a duh tone. Jeonghan’s tanned cheeks flushes a little. In all honestly, he has no idea when it started, in fact, he didn’t even realize he’d been so blatant. “So when did it start?” he pushes.

Jeonghan knows he’d be so good for you - he’s sure, you’re a far better match for him than Nina would ever be. He shifts a little in his seat. “I’m not sure,” he splutters out. He hasn’t intended it to happen, he has never meant to form a crush towards you, but he had and it can’t be shifted.

“But you do like her?”

He swallows a little and nods. He knows it’s fucking stupid, he’s engaged for gods sake, to your sister no less, but he really has come to like you. Very much so and, he can’t help it. There’s just something about you that’s so intoxicating to him.

“Are you going to do anything about it?” he asks, his eyebrow lifted in curiosity.

Jeonghan merely sits muted, not quite sure what to say. He has liked you for quite some time now, but he is your sister’s fiancé after all, he can’t do anything, even if he really wants to. He doesn’t want to cause that sort of problem.

“Just don’t play games with her,” Minhyuk mutters, his brown eyes watching as you make your way back towards them.

“I won’t,” Jeonghan whispers back. “Trust me.”

He offers him a small smile before he stands up, his arm wrapping around Yeejin’s waist.

“It was nice meeting you Jeonghan,” he beams as he extends a hand towards him. Jeonghan shakes it before he and Yeejin walks away, leaving you with only Jeonghan for company.

“I think they liked you,” you comment softly as you move to collect your bag from the back of your chair.

“I liked them,” he returns, his brown eyes staring anywhere but at you.

“Are you okay? You look a little flustered,” you say. He shifts a little but doesn’t respond, only flashing you a weak smile, nodding his head a little. “Do you need a ride?” you ask as you place enough money to cover the check onto the table.

He shakes his head lightly, spluttering out: “I have my car.”

You raise an eyebrow, offering him a slightly sceptical look before you push yourself up on your toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Jeonghan’s heart flutters at the feel of your lips against his skin, but manages to stifle the blush that itches to escape.

“Lunch was fun. We should do it again sometime,” you smile before you walk away from him.

He watches after you and swallows, thinking to himself; Why hadn’t I simply met her first?

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anonymous-dentist · 8 months

Note

Do you have any fics for qsmp you enjoy reading? Like your personal favs? Or ones you think have potential?

YES OKAY!

1. Along Came a Spider

If you aren't reading this one, you're wrong because it's super good? Basically, Roier gets bit by a radioactive spider, Quackity is I think Norman Osborn, and Cellbit is a Very Normal Person who definitely isn't a literal cat burglar. It's super well written, all the characters are fun, there's a lot of intrigue going on, and the fandom needs more superhero aus, and what better character to use than the literal Spider-Man?

2. Divided Soul

I think everyone's been keeping up with this one, but I still recommend it!! It's some cool high fantasy shit starring Vegetta as a prince being haunted by his ex boyfriend (/pos) and Foolish as the Literal Most Traumatized Man On Earth. If you like angst and hurt/comfort, this is the one for you.

3. eternally, forever.

Another Fooligetta fic, this one's another popular one, but for good reason! It's heartbreaking in the amount of love you can feel coming off of Foolish the entire time, and then? Yeah. Read it, it's definitely worth it.

4. The Reason (English version linked here, but definitely check out the Portuguese or Spanish ones if that language works better for you!!

Where do I even begin. F!Cell never escaped from prison, and he is making it everybody's problem, including the new guy on the (cell) block, Roier, who is definitely supposed to be there. Definitely. This one's darker so only check it out if you're into like. Dark shit. But also it's super good, so yeah!!

5. partners (in crime)

This one is an Ordem Paranormal au and it's only one chapter rn but I think there will be more? Unsure! But, as it is, it's cute! I don't know a ton about OP, but Cellbit gets teased, and everyone is cute, and I hope there's more because I'm already invested. It is in Portuguese, but translating it is so worth it.

6. Red Gunpowder

This one's a newer one, only one chapter so far, but I'm super into it already I think? Basically, Cellbit is a Traumatized Cop and Roier is... not in the fic yet, but he sounds fun just from the description. The first chapter was pretty cool, and I can't wait to see where it goes!

7. Icarus is Flying Too Close to the Sun & This is How It Feels to Take a Fall (series linked)

Two fics in one bullet point because they're both just that good! All three of Bobby's parents try and get Bobby back, and it's super heartfelt and I felt Emotions and it's sweet :( Definitely read it!

8. your palms; a home for my soul

This one is so SWEET!! Basically, Roier's heart is broken, and he goes to a heart fixer to... fix it. (It's magic, don't question it.) It's a twoshot, but it's sooooo cute, the metaphor is INSANE and I went AAAA

9. Breaking Dawn

So this one's pretty popular as well, but it's for good reason! Basically, Cellbit is a wannabe paranormal investigator and Roier is a werewolf. I think it was supposed to just be a romcom from the author's description, but there's so much more? There's this whole sideplot with Felps being kidnapped and Roier being real shady about everything and Cellbit being the densest man on the planet, and it's super worth a read if you've got a couple hours to spare!

10. The Red Means I Love You!!

Okay so you know me by now, you know I love fucked up little guys finding love, and this one sure does have a fucked up little guy! Basically, q!Cellbit accidentally summons c!Roier to possess his husband when he was trying to summon Romero Richas to interrogate it, and things sure do happen. The characterization is killer, and so is c!Roier, who is so desperate for love that he'd kill for it. (Unfortunately for him, he's kinda met his match in the form of someone who'd kill to get his love back.)

11. Bad Romance

This is the direct sequel to the last fic, and normally I'm not too into that? But this one's worth it imo. Picking up after the end of the last fic, c!Roier breaks f!Cell out of prison and f!Cell definitely doesn't manipulate Roier into agreeing to help him murder Pac e Mike over them leaving him behind in prison. I'm not too into toxic relationships, but I have hope for these two tbh, who else could love them but each other?

And that's my fic rec list! It's just off the top of my head tbh, so sorry about that!

#asks!#anon!#:D

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joshym · 10 months

Text

Lilac Moon: Chapter 3

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

Word Count: 7.4k+

Warnings: (specific to this chapter) alcohol use, a good amount of angst, some pretty fluffy fluff, lot’s of cursing (sorry, lol), an almost physical fight, mentions of past trauma, mentions of anxiety (future chapters WILL contain smut, so MINORS DNI)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

a/n: this story means a lot to me, & i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i love writing it. 🤍

with that being said, i just want to reiterate that this is a complete work of pure fiction, & this is not in any way meant to be reflective of real life.

as always, don’t be afraid to let me know what you think, & let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist. :)

love you all so much!

-lis🤍

You stayed the whole night with Josh, wrapped up with him in the chill of the night. It was an accident; you hadn’t planned on staying at this house, sleeping in his arms in the serenity of his backyard. But he’s so comforting, so calming…you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to be with him just like this for the rest of your days.

You’re falling for him, and you’re falling fast.

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

The peace of the morning has settled in. You're awoken by the melodic sounds of the birds chirping their forenoon songs. The sun is just beginning its dawn, the dew ever present on the grass.

Your body slowly rises and falls with his, his breathing still indicating the patterns of a deep sleep. He’s so warm. His comforting scent penetrates your senses. His arms are wrapped snug around your body, keeping you safe and close to him. You wish this could last forever. You wish the rest of the world would go on, leaving the two of you alone in this bliss you have created together.

You finally start to come to a bit more, your mind wandering out of its dreamlike state. You stretch your stiff limbs, causing him to stir as he’s starting to wake up, too. Half asleep, he leans down to give a gentle kiss on top of your head.

“Mm, good morning. At least I think it’s morning, anyway.” His voice is deep and raspy, still sleep laden.

You suddenly come fully to your senses, realizing that you accidentally spent the entire night with him, sleeping under his pergola in the backyard. You quickly grab your phone to investigate the time.

6:18am

“Holy shit, oh my god. I’m so sorry, Josh. I can’t believe I fell asleep like that.”

You lift your body off of him, finding he’s almost reluctant to break the embrace, but does it anyway.

“Why would you be sorry? I don’t mind at all. It’s actually the most restful sleep I’ve gotten in a long while.”

“I just hate to be so intrusive. This is your home, I shouldn’t have stayed all night like that. That’s so rude of me. I’m so sor-” he cuts you off before you can apologize for a second time.

“Y/n, please.” He sits up on the couch to be eye level with you, smiling a toothy grin at your embarrassment that he finds adorable. His hair is in a fluffy mess from sleeping outside all night, but it’s wonderfully charming to you. “Don’t say sorry. I’m happy you stayed. It gets a little lonely here sometimes and you’re fantastic company.” He lifts your hand to give it a quick peck.

“Well, I guess this means I have to make you breakfast now, huh.” He gives you a sly wink, making you blush as you both break out in a set of sleepy giggles.

He leads you in the house. You’d only seen his home in artificial lighting since you came over so late, but now, you’re seeing it in the glow of the day. The rising sun has encapsulated the space in a warm golden tone showcasing the architectural detailing and his elegant decor. There’s one wall in the living room that is entirely made up of floor to ceiling windows with a view of the forest behind it. You’re in absolute awe as you take it all in.

You’re in desperate need of freshening up, so you ask him where the restroom is. He points down the long hallway, telling you it’s the second door on your right.

You take your time to splash some water on your face, use the small brush you keep in your purse to fix your hair a little, and you’re thanking your lucky stars that you always carry around a travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste set.

Once you feel a little more presentable, you head back to the kitchen to find Josh rummaging through his fridge and cabinets for ingredients to make breakfast.

“What can I help you with?”

“Uh, absolutely nothing. You’re my guest and you will be treated as such. I am but your humble servant.” He bows to you, then walks over to the first seat at the island and pulls it out for you. “Your throne awaits, my dear.”

“If you insist, good sir.” You can’t even begin to hide the smile taking over your face.

“Sir, huh? Kinda like the sound of that.” he says with a sly wink as you both laugh.

Any other time you’ve stayed at a man’s house, it usually involves sex that is less than pleasurable for you, and the mornings consist of them practically shoving you out of the front door. (if they even let you stay that long)

But with Josh, it’s completely different. He didn’t need sex from you last night. He was perfectly content with just being with you, being in your presence. Completely okay with just a kiss, the most beautiful kiss you’ve ever shared with anyone. A kiss that happened when you were in the depths of explaining the most vulnerable parts of yourself that he wanted to know about. And not only that, he wants to cook for you this morning.

What is happening?

You’re watching intently as Josh gathers his ingredients for what appears to be quite the meal he has planned.

“So what are you making me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” he says with a smirk.

“Oh no. You’re not going to poison me, are you?”

He huffs out a laugh. “ Of course not. Unless you’re allergic to blackberries.” He puts some blackberries in a pot on the stove, stirring in a mixture of lemon juice, vanilla and water. “I’m making a blackberry compote to go on top of our french toast.”

“Oh! That sounds amazing, Josh!”

“Well, don’t give me too much credit. It’s a Jacob specialty. He’s a far better cook than I. But don’t ever tell him I said that. Wouldn’t want it going to his head.”

He lets the compote come to a boil before meticulously mixing in a little cornstarch.

“Jakes a cook?”

“Oh absolutely. He’s been cooking for the better part of our lives now. And I don’t mean he makes some measly pasta dish with premade sauce in a jar from the store, he is up to par with the professionals. I love all things culinary, but I don’t hold a candle to him.”

He continues stirring his concoction until it’s thick enough to his liking. He puts a little on a spoon, blowing on it until you can no longer see steam. He walks over to you and gently holds the spoon up to your mouth.

“Here, tell me what you think.”

You look in his eyes while you taste it, this moment feeling awfully romantic.

“It’s perfect.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yes, I do! Josh, are you sure you don’t need my help? You’re doing too much, I feel bad just watching you slave away.”

He walks back over to the stove to begin preparing the toast.

“Like I said, you’re my guest. I don’t get to do this often, so let me spoil you, okay?”

You nod and smile in agreement while you watch him finish the toast. He decorates your plates to near perfection, taking his time to drizzle the blackberry compote on top of the toast in a certain design. He tops it off with a little powdered sugar before setting your plate in front of you.

“Ladies first.” he says, signaling you to take the first bite. He watches you closely as you do so, anxiously awaiting your reaction.

“Well? How is it?”

“My compliments to the chef. Or should I say, the far less cuisine-talented Kiszka twin.” He covers his face in an attempt to conceal his laughter. “No seriously. This is incredible. Thank you for doing this. You really didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to. I don’t get to have people over here often, in fact I don’t even get to be here as much as I’d like, so this is nice.”

You both finish your breakfast, talking about anything and everything that graces the forefront of your minds. You talk a little about the tour and he offers some life-on-the-road advice to you, you talk some more about music and the future for both of your bands, things of that nature.

“Just so you know, I’ve been down the rabbit hole that is Lilac Moon.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Been listening to your music, watching your videos…I know I’ve already said this, but you’re pretty fantastic. Your stage presence is outstanding, y/n. I can’t wait to see what you’ll do in an arena. Lilac Moon truly deserves to be on a bigger stage.”

“Well, thank you. It’s going to be a change of scenery, that’s for sure.”

As much as you feel your music is going nowhere, that’s not entirely true. Your band has roughly 60,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, which is pretty damn good for a group that rarely leaves its home state. You’ve also been featured on NPR Music's YouTube channel for a Tiny Desk concert. That’s no small feat. The bands’ Instagram page has nearly 80,000 followers, with your own personal page reaching close to 30,000. You’ve been able to do multiple professional live recordings for various radio stations, even have two music videos out for your original songs. The recording of your first EP, self funded, of course, was a pivotal moment. It garnered a lot of attention from people, and its success allowed for a second one to be recorded and released within just a few months. Things aren’t quite as stagnant as you feel they are, it's Jay that has made you believe that it’s not enough. He’s convinced you that fame is all that matters, and you’ve allowed yourself to believe it. You know that’s not true. Those things don’t matter. The music matters the most, and that’s your true love. You’re finding that you’re starting to fall in love with that aspect of it all again.

“I uh, also happened to stumble upon a cover you all did at a few shows. A little number called Safari Song, I believe? Can't seem to remember who does that one…hmm..” he giggles at the blush creeping on your face.

Lilac Moon has performed that song countless times in front of audiences. Obviously a crowd favorite.

“Gee, I can’t remember who does that one either.” you say to him with a wink.

“I have to admit, I’m incredibly nervous, Josh. I mean, what if they don’t like us? I doubt many of them know us…I just…I don’t handle criticism well…I know that’s something I have to fix if I want to continue any kind of career in this field. I’m just nervous. This is the biggest thing to ever happen to us…I’m terrified they’ll hate us.”

“Ah, I remember those feelings quite well. It can be frightening, I know. But I can promise you this: they’re going to love you. I know our fans. They’re some of the most accepting, loving people. They feel it from us, and they reciprocate it. Just go out there with love, and they’ll love you right back. Love is the key.”

He pats the top of your head in a silly, loving way to reassure you a little extra.

“But you should know this already, I mean you are one of them, after all.” he says with a wink. “Just how big of a fan are you, anyways? Just out of curiosity. I hope you’re not a crazed, stalker type. If you are, well, you’ve done a good job of it because you’re in my house.” he says with a boisterous laugh.

“Well, I went to as many shows as I could back in the day. Got a few guitar picks, a drum stick. You even handed me a rose one time.”

“What? You know…” he stops to ponder in thought a bit. “Yeah…yes! I remember you! Oh my God, how could I have forgotten this. You and Ivy! I remember seeing you at tons of shows, and I remember handing you the rose.” He taps his fingers on his chin while he thinks. “St. Louis. Ballpark Village in 2017. You were wearing the most lovely purple dress with these huge sleeves that were just beautiful…and you had the most wonderful flowers in your hair. That’s why I wanted to give you the rose, because of your flowers. Such a lovely sight.”

You’re left in complete shock. His memory is serving him right, because that’s exactly what you were wearing.

“I can’t believe you remembered all of that. That’s just…how on earth do you still remember that? It’s been so many years, and you’ve done thousands of shows since then..”

“You just spoke to me, I guess. You were so sweet, so gentle in the mix of people who were screaming at the top of their lungs. You just radiated this energy that I didn’t feel from anyone else in the crowd. You were there for the music, for the peace it brought you, I could tell.”

You’re struck aghast at hearing this from him, because he’s absolutely right. You always felt a sort of peace at their shows. They felt eerily intimate to you, and you can’t believe he picked up on that from the crowds of people that surrounded you.

“Wow, Josh. I’m just astounded. I never knew you noticed me, let alone remembered me.”

“Look at you, y/n! I’d be crazy to not remember the likes of you, sweet girl. Like I said last night, the universe is mysterious. It wanted our paths to cross again, and now look what’s come of it? It’s a wonderful thing.”

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

You’ve been so lost in conversation that you don’t even realize three hours have gone by.

You start to help Josh clean up in the kitchen when you hear his phone going off.

“Shit. Hold on, I have to get that.”

He answers it, opting to put it on speaker. You’re taken aback by this. This man really has nothing to hide, and nothing to hide from you. It’s a sweet, seemingly insignificant gesture that makes you smile to yourself.

“Where the fuck are you?” You recognize Jake's voice instantly, and he’s not thrilled.

“Oh fuck, man. I totally forgot. What time was I supposed to be there?”

“You were supposed to be here over an hour ago to get hair and makeup done, Josh. The shoot starts in 30 minutes. You better get your ass over here now.” You hear Sammy’s unmistakable laughter in the background, clearly mocking his older brother's irresponsibility.

“Tell Sam to shut the fuck up. I’m on my way.”

You hear the call disconnect from the other end.

“I’m so sorry, Josh. This is all my fault.”

“No, don’t be. It’s just a silly magazine. They want us pretty damn bad for this next cover, so they aren’t going anywhere.”

You help him get the last few things tidied up in the kitchen before grabbing your stuff to head out the door with him. He walks you to your car, opening your door for you but stops you before you get in.

“Can we- can we do this again sometime? I know we’ve both got busy schedules with everything coming up. But I really, really enjoyed talking to you. I’m sorry if I got a little carried away last night. I just couldn’t help myself and-” you’re not sure where or how you got this sudden courage, but you grabbed him lightly by his shirt and brought him to your lips in a sweet, longing kiss to cut off his apology. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, bringing you even closer to him.

“Don’t be sorry.” you whisper as you move away slightly from his lips. “I would love to do this again. Soon, I hope?”

“Yes, very soon. Every night if we can.”

You meet each other in another kiss but it’s cut short as Josh’s phone is going off yet again, presumably Jake.

“I really hate to, but I have to go. Text me, okay?”

“I will.” you say as you sit in the driver's seat of your car.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Bye, y/n.”

He smiles as he shuts your car door. You watch him walk to his jeep. He looks wonderful in the sun, effortlessly stunning. The butterflies in your stomach are in a fluttering mass. You’re not sure what any of this means or where it could possibly be going, but you’re welcoming all of it with open arms.

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

Your mind is racing on your drive home. In fact, you decide to take the long way to your apartment to give yourself some space for deep thought. You love to take long drives to just let yourself think, to let yourself be.

You decide to skip going home right away, opting to drive yourself to Ivy’s to see if she’s home. You have to talk to someone, and who better than your very best friend.

You breathe a heavy sigh of relief when you pull up to her complex to see her car in her usual parking spot.

It’s not out of the ordinary for the two of you to show up to each other’s places unannounced. You even have a key to her apartment, and she owns one to yours as well.

You lived together briefly upon moving to Nashville, that is until Jay came into the picture. He moved in with you and essentially forced Ivy out. She didn’t take it well, and you can’t blame her one bit. He always said it was for ‘privacy.’ You hated that you let him do that. You hated that he tried to put a wedge between you and Ivy. It left a dent in your friendship for a while, and as much as she says she forgives you and doesn't place the blame on you, you can’t help but feel shameful for letting him run your life the way he did. Despite all of it, it somehow made you and Ivy stronger in the end. Your friendship has stood the tests of time and tribulation.

You make it up the steps to the second floor of the complex and let yourself in the front door of her apartment. It’s still early, so you have no doubt she’s still asleep.

As you walk inside, your theory is confirmed when you see her sprawled out on the couch in a deep sleep. You giggle a bit as she has always been notorious for falling asleep on the couch almost every night.

You sit down next to her and try to wake her up without scaring the shit out of her. She’s also notorious for getting a bit aggressive when she’s startled awake.

“Ivy…wake up. It’s me. We have to talk, like now.” you say in a hushed tone.

She starts to wake up a bit, tossing around to grab her phone that's buried in the cushions.

“What the hell are you doing here so early? Why are you even up?”

“I wasn’t at home last night..”

“Wha-what?” She's more awake now, sitting up in a better position to talk.

“What do you mean? Where were you? I literally dropped you off after practice.”

“Well, I was home for a bit. Then I got a text from Josh…”

Her eyes are now fully open and displaying shock as she’s scanning your face, desperate to hear the rest of your tale.

“Wait, what? What did he say? Did you hangout with him?”

“Yeah, I mean I don’t think that was his initial intention. He just wanted to apologize for being so sappy at the restaurant yesterday. He said some beautiful things, Ive. That’s why I was about to cry.”

She nods her head as if to signal you to keep going.

“Well, then he asked about Jay and why he’s such a prick. I told him it was a long story. One thing led to another, and he asked me to come over to have some wine and talk. So, I did.”

She has the biggest smile on her face, her eyes squinted almost entirely from her grin.

“And you stayed? All night? Holy shit, y/n. You slept with Josh. You slept with Joshua fucking Kisz-” you interupt her with an obnoxious laugh at her ridiculous assumption.

“Ivy! We did NOT sleep together. I mean, we slept together, but we didn’t fuck. Jesus, get your mind out of the gutter.” You playfully slap her arm. “We did kiss, though…and I told him about my dad. I don’t know what happened, it just..did. It happened so quickly. I felt so safe with him.”

“You kissed him? Y/n, oh my God. Tell me everything. Who initiated?”

“I told him a little about my experience with my mom…and you know me, you know I don’t talk about these things. I told him about how my dad instilled in me this passion for music that I have. I started to cry, and he said he wanted to kiss me…and I told him to do it..”

“That’s…that’s amazing, y/n.”

“And he listened to me, Ivy. He actually listened to me. He was so..intentional. I felt so heard. I think that’s why I fell asleep with him. It just…it felt nice, you know? Maybe I’m overthinking everything…and odds are this doesn’t mean anything. But it just felt really…nice.”

Ivy leans in and wraps you in a hug. She knows all too well of the struggles you’ve faced, and she knows how hard it is for you to talk about it all. The two of you share a bond together that no one else will ever be able to fully comprehend. She’s also been through her fair share of traumas, so the two of you understand one another in a way that is different from other relationships in your lives.

“Okay so..is there anything else I need to know?”

“He cooked me breakfast this morning.”

“What the fuck. This man isn’t real. There’s no way. It’s too good to be true.”

You both laugh at this, and you halfway agree with her.

“If I wasn’t there, I don’t think I’d believe it myself. You know my track record with men is absolute shit. I mean I even apologized for staying all night, and he practically thanked me for staying. Said he gets lonely. And he wouldn’t even let me help him with breakfast. It was so sweet.”

“What did he make you, anyway?”

“The most incredible french toast I’ve ever had. He told me it’s Jake's recipe. Apparently Jake is some high-end chef. Isn’t that amazing?”

Ivy perked right up at that.

“So, since you’re all chummy with Josh, can you set me up with his outrageously sexy, guitar-god of a twin?”

You both burst out in a fit of giggles.

“You are absolutely ridiculous.”

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

You’ve spent the entire day with Ivy. Relaxing, watching your favorite tv shows, eating snacks. You’ve been so busy with Lilac Moon lately that it’s been hard to find time to just rest, so you’re grateful for the opportunity that arose today.

You held off from texting Josh at the risk of seeming too eager, but you were starting to feel guilty that your promise fell through. You decide that it’s probably okay to text him, given it’s been several hours since you saw him so you shouldn’t look that desperate.

You: How did the photoshoot go? Jake didn’t kill you for being late, did he?

Josh: Unfortunately, he did just that. I am speaking to you from the grave. ;)

You’re surprised by the almost instant reply.

You: Oh! What a shame. I was really starting to like you. :(

You: I really am sorry I made you so late!

Josh: Not your fault, sweet girl! Jacob gets agitated quite easily but it’s nothing to bat an eye at. All was well, as I knew it would be! What are you doing on this fine evening?

Ivy catches you smiling at your phone.

“You look an awful lot like you’re talking to a gorgeous rockstar over there.”

“And what if I am? You’re jealous, huh.” you say with a smirk.

“Shut the hell up, y/n.”

You return to responding to Josh when suddenly your phone starts ringing with an incoming call. To your disgust, it’s Jay. Him calling this late can only mean one thing, a last minute gig at a shitty bar.

You turn your screen to show Ivy, to which she responds with a heavy eye roll.

“Hello, Jay.”

“Are you with Ivy?”

“Yes, why?”

“Be at The Basement in 45 minutes. Juliens on his way with the equipment. We’re on at 9.”

“Are you fucking kidding me-” he hangs up before you can argue.

You look at Ivy who’s got annoyance written all over her face.

“Well that’s just fucking great.”

“Please, y/n, don’t tell me we’re playing where I think we’re playing..”

Ivy puts her face in her hands, knowing exactly what your response will be.

“Yep. The Basement. The fucking Basement. I don’t know how many times we have to tell Jay that we hate this fucking place.”

The Basement in south Nashville is quite literally your least favorite place to play. It’s such a small bar that gets crowded quickly, it’s gross and always smells like regurgitated alcohol, and the sound system is absolute shit. Also, this place never fails to attract the nastiest, most disrespectful men that yell the most horrendous things at you and Ivy.

“How much time do we have to get ready?”

“He wants us there in 45 minutes.”

“That gives us..” she looks at her phone to confirm the time “..20 fucking minutes to get ready. Why does he wait until the last minute to plan these things!”

The Basement also conveniently doesn’t house any dressing rooms for you to get ready in, and you’re sure as hell not getting ready in the bathrooms that don’t appear to have ever been cleaned properly, so you have to hurry and get ready here.

Ivy runs to her closet to grab some outfits for the two of you while you rush to her bathroom to get out all of her makeup. You start quickly putting on your face when you realize you hadn’t responded to Josh yet. You really didn’t want to leave him hanging.

You: Well, looks like we’re booked for a last minute gig at my least favorite bar, thanks to none other than Jay.

Josh: Where would said gig happen to be?

You: The Basement. And he’s only giving us 20 minutes to be ready and get there for a soundcheck. I can tell you know, it’ll sound like shit.

Josh: I’m coming. What time is your set?

You: We’re on at 9. You really don’t need to come. This place is a dump and it’s way too overcrowded. People will probably maul you once they figure out you’re there. It’s not safe.

Josh: That’s what our security is for. :) I’ll be there. Daniel and Jake will also be in attendance. I think they love your music almost as much as I do. :)

The thought of him coming to a risky place just to see your band perform has you feeling so warm inside. You can’t explain it, but you feel safer already at the thought of him being there.

You finish your makeup in record time. Ivy barges in with an outfit for you. A pair of black velvet bell bottoms and a strapless sage green corset top donned with flowers. It’ll do. Ivy’s wearing a mini skirt the same shade of green and a black crop top with sequins.

You get dressed as Ivy rushes to finish her makeup.

“How much time, y/n?”

“We need to be in the car in 3 minutes.”

“Shit. You’re driving, then. I’ll just finish this in the car.”

You both sprint down the stairs of the complex to your car, tripping over your bell bottoms with each step.

“You just had to give me the fucking bell bottoms? I should get to wear that skirt! My legs are shorter than yours!”

“Well my ass looks bad in them, so yes! Get over it!”

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

You finally made it. The drive here was brutal, but you made it right on time.

You head in for the soundcheck. You’re groaning at the thought of playing here again. The stage is so small that the four of you on there together are practically on top of one another. There’s hardly enough room for your equipment, but Julien is the best at making it all fit.

Joe is here and talking to the owners of the bar, probably negotiating a form of payment. These places never pay much. Stingy asses.

You quickly run through a few songs before the doors open for people to start coming in. You sound mediocre at best. This place has the absolute worst sound.

8:31 pm

There’s only about 10 minutes until doors, so you and Ivy decide to grab a drink from the bar to calm your collective nerves.

“So, Josh is coming tonight, with Danny and Jake. He insisted on it.”

She takes a sip of her angry orchard.

“Isn’t this place a little dangerous for them? Like won’t people freak out over them?”

“I literally thought the same thing, but Josh said they’re bringing security with them so it would be fine. I told him they didn’t need to come, but he sounded like they really wanted to. Said they loved our music.”

You’re suddenly startled by Jay yelling at you from backstage.

“Y/n! Ivy! What the fuck are you doing? Get back here! It’s almost time!”

You both roll your eyes simultaneously at his rude behavior and head back to join him and Julien. You decide to tell Julien about your guests attending tonight's show.

“Guess what, Julie? Josh, Danny and Jake will be here tonight!”

“Uh oh, guess that means we better be on our best behavior!” he says with a playful nudge at your shoulder.

“Why the fuck do they need to be here? Do they think they need to come see us to make sure we’re actually good enough for them?”

You’re not surprised by his nasty attitude towards it, in fact you were expecting it. He’s already a few drinks in, not much of a shock.

“They just wanted to see the show, Jay. They like our music. I don’t know what the big deal is.”

Jay scoffs obnoxiously. “That’s a load of bullshit. They don’t give fuck. They just want to make sure we actually fit their standards. I know how the business works. We’re just the openers, y/n. They couldn’t care less about us and you’re better off to realize that, too.”

“Why do you have to have such a shit attitude about it? Not once have you shown an ounce of gratitude for this opportunity. You’re being an asshole about it. You were so fucking rude at the meeting. It was embarrassing.”

“I was the embarrassing one, y/n? Hm. See, how I remember it is you were flirting up a fucking storm with the miniature lead singer. Everyone noticed. Seems like you’re trying to make it good with him, get yourself a step ahead of all of us. He’s your ticket to fame, isn’t he?”

Now you’re pissed.

“You’re just mad that I don’t want to be with your sorry ass anymore. You can’t handle when another man gives me attention, can you? Sounds like you’re pretty fucking jealous to me.”

“You’re just using him, y/n. You don’t want him. And there’s no way he’d want a nobody like you. It’s pathetic. You’re just fulfilling some stupid fantasy of yours, huh?”

“Fuck you, Jay.”

You storm off towards the stage. Ivy follows close behind, about to bite a hole in her tongue to keep from making things worse.

“It must suck to be so fucking miserable all the time. It’d be great if you’d get over yourself for once.” Julien says before he follows your lead to head on stage.

For the first time in a long while, you and Ivy aren’t the last ones making it to the stage.

8:59 pm

People are piling in fast. You hit the stage to a loud collection of cheers. You scan the audience quickly, seeing your distinguished guests towards the back of the bar surrounded by a slew of security guards. The anger you were feeling has instantly melted away at the site of Josh and his toothy smile. His energy instantaneously makes you feel lighter.

9:01 pm

You tap the mic a few times to ensure it’s working. You take a deep breath.

“Good evening! How are we all doing tonight?”

The crowd is exceptionally loud tonight, and you’re starting to feel better about the whole situation.

You look around to your bandmates to signal you’re ready, when you notice the absence of your high strung guitarist.

You look back to Julien with silent question, to which he responds with wide eyes and a shrug of his shoulders.

You decide to buy a little time by doing your usual warming-up-the-crowd antics.

“We’re Lilac Moon, in case you’re new here.” You start nervously adjusting the mic stand, an anxious fidget of yours. “If you like what you hear, don’t be afraid to tip us. If you don’t like what you hear, still tip us and we’ll be sure to use it for lessons.” Julien punctuates your cheesy joke with a *ba dum tss* of his kit.

That one gets them everytime, so you’re not surprised to hear a lot of laughter from the crowd.

9:07 pm

You look to your left, still no Jay.

Shit.

“Lots of lovely faces out here tonight. It’s a shame you’re stuck looking at ours.” Another *ba dum tss* from Julien and plenty of laughs from the crowd.

9:10 pm

Still no Jay. You’re starting to panic. Julien senses it and decides to head backstage in search of him.

You and Ivy do your best to buy more time, but people are getting antsy. You periodically look to Josh to see his face filled with worry.

9:14 pm

Finally, just as you were about to head backstage yourself, here comes Julien with a clearly disordered Jay.

Great. He’s fucking wasted.

You’re nervous for what could happen, but the show must go on.

“You all ready?” you say as Ivy taps a few notes on her bass and Jay strums a chord on his guitar.

The crowd cheers, and you begin.

The first several songs go as well as you could’ve hoped. The crowd is really into it tonight. You’re trying not to keep your eyes set on Josh the whole time, but it’s proving to be quite difficult. He looks so enthralled, and you notice that he’s even singing along to some of your songs. It’s surreal, to say the least. He even blows you a few kisses, causing you to become flustered.

9:53 pm

The next song is your newest piece, Alone Again, the one that requires you to play some rhythm guitar with Jay. You go to grab your instrument, feeling slightly less anxious than the other night for its debut and your first time playing on stage.

You make your speech about playing guitar, finding the opportunity to say once again “if it sounds like shit, just blame Jay” only this time, he doesn’t appear to be too pleased with your quip. He stares at you with an empty, angry glare as he steps closer to his mic.

What is he about to do..

“No, no. If it sounds like shit, blame her. She’s the one who wrote this song. Oh, should I mention she wrote it about me? You know, we were in the ‘throes of love.’” he uses air quotes, making his sarcasm apparent, “but all love stories must end, isn’t that right, y/n? I bet your new fling didn’t know this little number was about me, did he?” He looks towards Josh. “Did you know that? That she wrote this about me?” He’s slurring and stumbling all over his words, clearly very drunk as the alcohol has had more time to settle. Luckily, no one in the audience seems to register that he’s trying to point out someone in the crowd. But their security is wrapped tightly around them, just in case.

You’re speechless. You’re embarrassed. You're not even sure how to go about beginning the song now, but thankfully, Julien taps his snare a few times, and the song finally begins.

The last time you performed this song, you were full of emotions that forced you to become somewhat vulnerable on stage. This time, the only emotion you feel is anger. Pure, unfiltered anger. You’re nearly screaming the lyrics. Your strumming is intense. You’re just ready to get it over with.

Despite it all, the audience loves it. Their cheers make it apparent that they’ve mostly forgotten about the awkward intro to the track.

Thankfully, Jay keeps his mouth shut for the rest of the set, and everything ends rather smoothly.

10:26 pm

“Thank you all so much! We hope to see you again soon!” you say as you blow a kiss and wave to the audience, getting tons of kisses and waves right back as they cheer.

Once you’re all backstage, Joe takes Jay aside and corners him.

“What the hell was that about, huh? You trying to make yourself look like a damn fool? ‘Cause you’re doing a great job at it, bud!”

Your adrenaline from being on stage has quickly left and anger is seeping in your blood once again.

You walk over to Joe and push him aside.

“What the fuck, Jay? You’re going to make us look like a fucking joke. You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”

He starts screaming at you. You’re not even able to make out what he’s saying. A lot of ‘bitch’ and ‘fuck you’s’ being thrown around is all you can manage to understand.

“What the FUCK is your problem?” Danny yells loud enough that it startles him and cuts him off. “I’ll be God damned if I let you speak to her like that any longer.” Just as he says that, Jay lifts his fist, ready to land on Danny.

“Oh I don’t fucking think so.” Before he can swing, Danny grabs him and locks his arms behind his back.

Jay is trying to release himself from his grasp, but the drummer is far too strong for him and his drunken, belligerent state.

Josh and Jake are close behind, running up to you to be sure you’re okay.

“Y/n, you and Ivy come with us. You don’t need to be in his company any longer.” Josh says as he grabs your hand to pull you away, glaring at Jay.

“You know you’re nothing to her! She only wants you ‘cause you’re famous! She doesn’t give a fuck about you or anyone else!” he screams as Danny, Joe and Julien take him outside to the back of the venue to cool him off.

“Get fucked, you piece of shit!” Josh yells back in a deep, angry tone, one you didn’t think was possible from him.

That…was fucking hot.

You’re mortified. He demeaned you in front of the audience, but worst of all, he tried to start a physical fight with a member of the band that’s helping you further your career. Embarrassment doesn’t even cover it.

“I am…I’m so sorry about all of this. We were fighting before the show and I guess he took it upon himself to get absolutely trashed.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, y/n. You guys shouldn’t have to put up with this bullshit.” Jake says.

“Josh, please don’t believe anything he says. He’s completely out of it, I don’t even think he realizes he lost his shit on stage. He’s an asshole, but he takes his music very seriously. That’s not like him to do that, I swear.”

“I have no reason to believe a word out of his mouth, y/n. And you need to stop justifying his behavior. There’s no reason for him to act that way. But I do want to know something…” you look to him to let him know he can continue his thought, “Did you really write that song? About him? It’s a wonderful, beautiful song. But, the lyrics. How could you still feel that way about him?”

“Yes, I did. I wrote it the day I broke things off.” You’ve thought the same things. How could you possibly waste your energy on a song about him? “I guess I didn’t write it about him so much as I wrote it about who I thought he was. I, I don’t know. I thought he was different, Josh. I was naive. I don’t feel those things..and to be honest, I’m not sure I ever did. I think I liked the idea of being with him more than anything. There wasn’t any real love there. It felt so empty.”

Jake and Ivy take it upon themselves to leave, to give you two some space.

“You are worlds better than him. Universes, even. He doesn’t deserve to share space with you.”

“I wish he wasn’t in this band. I wish things were different. I wish we could just kick him out and find someone else, it’s just not that easy. None of us can stand being around him anymore. He’s gone completely off the deep end since the break up. He makes it really hard for me, for all of us, to love this band like we used to.”

You’re in a tough spot. You feel the need to make excuses for Jay because he’s still a vital part of this band. And you feel it’s your responsibility to keep the peace amongst everyone, because you feel a sort of guilt for everything that happened. You’re convinced that you’re the reason he acts this way.

Josh doesn’t speak for a few minutes, looking like something on his mind is plaguing him.

“Josh? What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t want to say anything until I had more information. But…we found out today that the label is kind of being difficult about you coming on tour with us since you’re not signed with them. We all thought it’d be okay, given you’re not signed with anyone, but apparently that’s somewhere in the fine lines of the contracts. Our manager didn’t even think it’d be a big deal.”

You stare blankly at him, watching as his expression turns more and more distraught.

“They were here tonight, y/n. They were prepared to sign you, but after Jay’s outburst on stage….I don’t know, they weren’t happy. They left before you finished.”

Fuck.

“I…I mean what do we do? Can we have a meeting with them? We can’t let this happen, I won’t let it happen. I won’t let that mother fucker ruin this for us. He’s such a fucki-” he stops you before you can really work yourself up and brushes his hand gently on your cheek to calm you down.

“Listen, I will make this happen, okay? We can pull some strings. You deserve this and I’ll prove that to them. But, that could mean finding a new guitarist. I don’t know for sure, so don’t stress too much about that yet. I just want you to know that might be a possibility, okay?”

This news should send you into a spiral, but his voice is so calming…his demeanor is peaceful…you can’t help but trust everything he says. Looking into his eyes, you have no doubt everything will be alright.

“Okay, Josh..” you say with a heavy sigh.

He smiles at you and leans down to place a kiss on your nose.

To be continued…

Chapter 4

join the taglist!

taglist: @jakeyt @fwzco @jessicafg03 @blissfulbellss @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @arsonkween @sicksadandrad @gretavansara @witchofendora @andtherestishistory13 @aintthatapity @itsdannysworld @thetroublegetssoloud71 @slaythelightfantastic

i *think* i got everyone, but, again, tumblr is being weird with tags.

a/n: here’s a little playlist of songs that, to me, represent the kind of music Lilac Moon would do, if they were real. ☺️

i’d like to think of their music as a mix of all of these sounds put together, if that makes sense. lol

#josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka smut #josh kisza x reader #jake kiszka #sammy kiszka #danny wagner #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet smut #josh fic #lilac moon

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