#nat talks mental health | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alottiegoingon · 10 days

Text

hc!friends to lovers

natalie scatorccio x fem!reader

summary: going from friends to lovers with nat

warnings: golden retriever gf x black cat gf dynamic, nat is secretly a softie, drugs and mommy/daddy issues mentions, cursing, pure fluff, not proofread

𖧊 to this day, nat still has no idea on how you two became friends. you were too different

𖧊 it started with you complimenting her makeup once and she was so rude cause she thought you were making fun of her

𖧊 “your eyeliner is so pretty,” you tried to be nice just to receive a “fuck off” and a middle finger right to your face. you were flabbergasted! you were just trying to be nice to a pretty blonde girl and now you were her enemy?

𖧊 your huge smile disappeared in seconds and when nat realized you weren’t mocking her, she got desperate. “oh, shit. you were actually serious?”

𖧊 she was constantly being slutshamed and harassed by the mean students and the idea of being complimented by you didn’t even make it to her head

𖧊 you were too sweet for her taste. too smiley, too happy, too soft and too excited. her words, not mine. but damn, you were pretty

𖧊 not that she would ever tell you that, but being friends with you was better than spending her days alone or with the other two guys she had for friends but were nothing but drug buddies

𖧊 “dude, what the fuck is that?” she grunts at the second you show her one of your favorite songs by backstreet boys “it’s so cheesy!”

𖧊 you held her arms and made her dance with you and she was so embarrassed and tried to brush it off by complaining a lot but her eyes didn’t lie. she kinda enjoyed that

𖧊 then, late at night when she’s unable to sleep, she secretly listen to the too happy and annoying shit type of songs you liked just to think of you :(

𖧊 she eventually found herself enjoying the cranberries, spice girls and lots of your catchy pop or soft songs while doing chores and would never forgive herself for that

𖧊 at first, nat was easily annoyed by you. by your overwhelming enthusiasm and positivity and how you would always see the good in others even if they didn’t deserve

𖧊 however, that didn’t mean you wouldn’t speak up for her. if anyone was caught talking shit about nat, you were always the first one to have her back. “excuse me? hi. that’s my friend you are talking about and you might wanna apologize to her right now!”

𖧊 bless your heart you really tried to be scary like her. at least the intention was there right

𖧊 “i don’t need you to defend me,” she was already snarling at you but you could see in her eyes that she didn’t mean that. she just didn’t like being vulnerable in front of others

𖧊 nat was tough, she could take care of herself. you knew that but you couldn’t let anyone be mean to her

𖧊 “i know, but i care about you!” “yeah, whatever 🙄🙂”

𖧊 and it worked the other way around as well. a single threatening glance of nat was enough to make anyone scared of even saying your name. yes, you were a pain in her ass but she was the only one who could say that

𖧊 “but you just said she was annoying,” her friend kevin defends himself from her scary look. “don’t call her that, asshole”

𖧊 nat couldn’t invite you over to her house trailer so you would usually hang out at your house or secret places she knew

𖧊 nat is a really lonely and independent person and that’s a consequence of her unstable childhood. running away from the mess she had for parents, she eventually discovered a nice small park with pretty trees around and thought it would be the perfect hiding spot

𖧊 smoking with nat? obviously a must. you would give her the old speech saying that it was terrible for her physical and mental health (🤓☝️) even if you were 100% sure that she wasn't listening and was just giving you ironic commments. "you don't say, princess"

𖧊 deep down, very deep down, she appreciated you

𖧊 “kevin told me he caught you listening to backstreet boys yesterday” you smile at her, watching her messy bleached hair cover half of her face as she smokes

𖧊 “fucking kevin,” she mutters under her breath and it’s the perfect opportunity to play around with her. “aren’t you gonna deny it? wow, you must really like me, nat”

𖧊 “shut up, princess.”

𖧊 it was meant to be ironic but since the first time she called you that, you two were sure that it was nothing but a caring nickname and you were a complete sucker for it

𖧊 spending time together became a casual thing and as essential as breathing. that didn’t go unnoticed

𖧊 showing up to support her on a game day or just practice, holding a big sign with her name written with gliter gel pens and smiley faces and cheering so loud that people near you had to cover their ears

𖧊 thanks to that, she was so flustered that couldn't focus on the actual game

𖧊 classically, the yellowjackets would always make fun of her when you were around but especially when you weren’t. “are you happy that your girlfriend came to see you today?” van teases nat and suddenly she became their favorite subject to talk about

𖧊 “she’s not my fucking girlfriend!” she flips them off and storms off to hide how unbelievably red her cheeks were

𖧊 nat didn't take long to realize she felt different about you. but her doing your eyeliner to match her after you insisted didn't help. it was pretty hard to mantain her toughness when you were lying in bed with her on top, straddling you with face so close that you could smell the blunt in her breath

𖧊 "thanks, nat. what do you think?" you ask when she's done

𖧊 "not bad. thanks to me, obviously," she acts casually but she's like 🧍🏼‍♀️😊😮‍💨😵 seeing you with her goth ass makeup

𖧊 being jealous of you near anyone who would say hi to you was also a clear sign

𖧊 going from friends to lovers with nat would be something hard for her at first. she isn't used to trusting people that much. loving someone? what was she thinking?!

𖧊 this means that she would definitely push you away, intentionally or not, and would act weird for days until you finally confronted her

𖧊 and she tries to be rude to make you leave but it doesn’t work. eventually she opens up about her feelings, shaking and at the verge of tears, and you hug her tightly

𖧊 “i like you too, nat”

𖧊 holds your chin when kissing you 😵‍💫

𖧊 jealous girlfriend that was always there to keep an eye on you but wouldn’t say the words “i’m jealous” even if her life depended on it

𖧊 dating nat meant her having part time jobs to save money for weeks just to buy you something nice for your birthday or to take you to a special place in a special occasion. you cried like a baby

𖧊 you were aware that she struggled with money and you weren't rich either, so you kept things discreet. you would come to her with a tape with lots of songs that reminded you of her, "nat, you won't believe what i made you!"

𖧊 “i have no idea, baby..." but she definitely did cause you would do that at least twice a month

𖧊 she would be the first one to say “i love you” accidentally and got so stressed trying to fix her mistake with a cough but you had heard her and was freaking out, smile from ear to ear

𖧊 “you’re a moron, i love you” it took her five seconds to go from 😁 to 😧

𖧊 “i love you too.”

𖧊 when it comes to affection, i feel like she would be hesitant at first, not knowing what to do. having sex with random people was really different from wanting to show her love for you, it was harder

𖧊 realistically, nat wouldn't be the touchy type. she never really experienced affection from her parents (at least not in a long time), so it would be something new, but wouldn't be opposed to it once she realized how comforting it felt

𖧊 100% touch starved. you stroke her cheek once and she's tearing up already

𖧊 pretends to be bothered but always melts completely when you kiss her and loves to hold hands and intertwine fingers

𖧊 not everything was perfect and sharing feelings wasn’t easy for her. either way, you were always there for her, listening to her talk about her shitty parents or just comforting her after a bad day

BONUS!!!

𖧊 if the iconic barbie movie was released in the 90s, you would BEG her to wear pink clothes to go to the movies together and she would deny it every single time

𖧊 “but it would be so cute! we would match 🥺” you insisted, knowing that she was so close to cave in

𖧊 “it’s gonna make me look stupid, i don’t wear pink. quit it, princess,” nat nods, convinced that you would eventually forget about it

𖧊 a week later, nat is found at the movie theater looking like a damn flamingo

𖧊 “what happened to you? met an unicorn on the way here?” shauna mocks her as soon as she sees the blondie wearing a bright pink suit and black boots, matching your same color dress

𖧊 “shut up,” she gives them her middle finger

𖧊 “happy wife, happy life,” tai murmurs and she just nods, defeated. shauna, tai and van, all in pink thanks to your incessant pleas, followed her to get the tickets while you and jackie were excitedly buying snacks and pink popcorn containers shaped like barbie’s car

𖧊 (she definitely cried at the end and you had to kiss her tears away)

#had a hard time making this not angsty #yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #natalie scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio

234 notes · View notes

luckylittlelesbian · 10 days

Text

i have so many thoughts on this. specifically about all their different dynamics

lottie - they have a sort of forced proximity thing going on (forced by lottie). no one else knows about lottie’s pills and mental health issues and she’d love to keep it that way. but our cheerleader girlie was just sort of in the wrong place at the wrong time and saw them fall out of lottie’s bag in the locker room. and lottie has just been pestering her ever since. at first it was begging her not to tell anyone. and the girl is just like idc. why would i tell anyone? but then the fact that this girl now knows makes lottie eventually just be like ykw i might as well tell her all that's on my mind -all the time- cause i have no one else to talk to about this. and so whenever the two of them are together they just constantly end up talking about some crazy mental health shit. they have those “hits the joint” talks without the smoking. but a lot of the times they’re so secretive about their little chats that the other yellowjackets are just so suspicious of them.

shauna - they’re study buddies. and they’re together outside of school like all the time. mostly cause shauna’s constantly like please come over and help me with this homework or this project or this math equation or this test. she always comes up with something. most of the time they end up not studying much at all for hours and then they end up having to stay up all night together working on the stuff they were initially supposed to be doing. and those past midnight/3am vibes just hit so hard for them. when it comes to her feelings - shauna doesn't like that jackie has a boyfriend, she hates how that makes her feel and this new girl has just been such a good distraction from jackie and all the feelings that come with being around her. it makes her feel less guilty; catching feelings for someone who isn't her straight best friend, so she's not opposed to it. also a part of her wants to make jackie feel that jealousy and pain that she feels whenever she sees her with jeff.

jackie - she LOVES the whole cheerleading thing. does she even like soccer anymore? would she rather be a cheerleader? probably. she loves to ask so many questions and watch them practice and try out all the different moves the cheerleaders do. she’s not romantically into our main girl (because she’s into shauna) and she is growing so so so jealous because of this bond that shauna and the cheerleader are developing. but obvi in her mind she's only feeling this way (starting to grow resentful) because she feels like she’s losing her best friend. duh. right. that's it? right?! (....she's a gay)

taissa - exercise! sports! early morning runs! i can see them meal prepping together lmao. these two are !health freaks! and they bond over that fast. taissa teaches her soccer the way our girl teaches cheer to jackie (she's bad at it and taissa makes fun of her for it but then our girl is just like- try doing a backflip. and that gets tai to shut up). a lot of the time the yellowjackets make fun off them for working out like they're preparing for war or something. but also saying it's great that tai finally found someone to be insane with (someone willing to get up at like 5am with her so they can go for a run). it gets kinda shady though, cause even though taissa is with van, she's been spending more and more time with their main cheerleader and enjoying it maybe a bit more than someone in a relationship should.

nat - unfortunately for nat she’s so different from the cheerleader that she’s been finding it hard to connect with her on a deeper level. she is so into her wants to get with her so bad but whenever she tries to get her to go hang out with her, or with her and kevin, it doesn’t usually work out. sometimes she comes along but she doesn’t smoke or drink (!health freak!). so most of the time she’s just like i need to study and ends up going with shauna. or says that tai and her are going for a run or that lottie and her are having a picnic or something. it's very frustrating and makes nat try to join in on her things instead of trying to get her to join in on hers. she tags along for a study session with her and shauna (she's painfully the third wheel). tries to hang out with lottie and her but that quickly ends as the two of them just clearly aren't talking the way they usually would if they were alone. (annoys nat to no end - whatever im going) the worst is when she tries to join taissa and her for one of those runs she's been hearing about. (they have to drag her out of bed.) like it was kind of fun, and it got the girl into her bed (kind of) but she never wants to do it again.

misty - i cant decide if she would be okay with this new girl coming in or not. if she would see her as competition or if she would see her as an authority figure that she would gladly do anything for. maybe a bit of both. the two have a bonding moment when during practice our girl scrapes her knee and misty is quick with her first aid skills. also they end up spending a lot of time on the bleachers watching the yellowjackets play so they bond during those times too. just as friends tho. but there is a certain aspect of jealousy because misty has always wanted to be "a part" of the girls' friend group but she has never been able to integrate with them. and she sees this new girl come in and do it so effortlessly it makes her jealous and sad. i wouldn't put it past her that she might even try to harm the cheerleader somehow and then (some of) the yellowjackets stand up for her and alienate misty even more.

van - she simply dislikes her. partly because of her and tai's growing connection but also just the fact that she isn’t into this whole vain mean girl vibe. (even tho she isn’t that at all) unfortunately van just has this preconceived judgement of how she assumes she must be considering she's this pretty girl cheerleader character. she treats her similarly to the way she treated jackie after jackie left her to die in the plane crash. she believes they’re just too different. she also doesn't like how tai's attention seems to be shifting away from her. this does kinda lead to her bettering her performance tho cause she wants tai’s attention back. to make it even worse, van and tai are already (secretly) dating and this thing that's happening is starting to feel to van a lot like emotional cheating.

laura lee - lowkey just wants someone to go to church and bible study with her. she already knows none of the yellowjackets are interested so she sees this new girl as someone who might be. eventually our girl mentions that her and lottie have been having some talks about spirituality and the vastness of the universe and how there has to be more to all of this (and that lottie has been hearing the voice of god lately jkjk... she doesnt mention that) etc etc and that maybe the two of them could join her to church one day and laura lee is just so ecstatic.

137 notes · View notes

book-place · 6 months

Text

The Avoiding Act

Warnings: unhealthy studying methods, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Avengers x reader platonic

Request: Hey! Can you do MCU x Teen!reader, whose been feeling stressed out lately (I have exams coming up) and she also struggles with mental health. She constantly avoids the team because she knows they'll tell her to sit down and take a break, but one day they forcefully make her sit down and talk to them, and they're all telling her to take it easy and that they believe in her or something, and she's starts tearing up because she's never had anyone tell her reassuring things before she met the team, and one of them (preferably Bucky, Loki, Tony, or Steve) just hugs them? And like they end up watching Disney movies or something, and she falls asleep on Tony or Steve? Thank you!

Requested by: @wolfmoonmusic

*not my gif*

Summary: Your team hasn’t really seen you in over a week, and they start to grow worried

A/N: This isn’t my best work- but I don’t think it’s too bad; also I wrote this forever ago and just forgot to publish it

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

You practically had it down to a point by now. You had memorized your entire team's schedule in such a way that you could avoid them perfectly.

Steve was using the training levels at exactly 5:05 every morning, being the first one up- besides you. That was easy, just avoid all of the workout rooms. Bucky was sometimes up at that time as well, but he just stayed in his room.

Up next was Nat and Bruce. Nat would start off her day on the balcony of either her room or the one connected to the living room. Bruce would make a beeline for his lab right away and hide in there for a while. So naturally, you just skipped out on all three of those places.

That’s when it got complicated. The late sleepers were Sam, Tony, and Clint. Meaning, their schedules were unpredictable. But that was only in the sense that you didn’t know which time they would get up. All three of them would head straight to the kitchen as soon as they got up though, so all you had to do was make sure that you weren’t in there any later than 10:00.

That left your room, which you never stayed in because then they would be able to find you, and any other of the many empty rooms left in Avengers Tower.

Some might call you paranoid, but you made sure to switch rooms every two hours, that way you weren’t in one place long enough for them to find you there.

The reason you were avoiding your team?

It wasn’t becuase you didn’t want to see them or loved them dearly, it was simply becuase you needed to study.

To outsiders, that would seem like a weird reason to be hiding from your loved ones, but not when it came to you.

When you studied, you studied.

You hardly ever took breaks- not even to eat and sleep.

And if your team knew this, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that they would try to make you take a break. To take care of yourself.

You couldn’t have that happening, the biggest exam of the year was in three days and taking a break was not an option.

It was a day like any other in the past week, you were in a random conference room on the seventh floor, going on the eighth day without seeing your team for more than five minutes a day.

Like normal, you were hunched over a textbook, eyes sweeping back and forth along the pages as you eagerly tried to take in any bit of knowledge you could come upon.

It was well past dinner- not that you had eaten other than a granola bar early in the morning before the late risers made it to the kitchen- and your team, six floors up, were sitting around one of the many living rooms.

“So you’re telling me that nobody saw Y/N today?” Steve asked, standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest, eyebrows creased with worry.

Clint and Sam shook their heads in sync from their respective positions on the couch in front of him. Bucky, who was leaning up against a wall with his arms crossed, repeated the gesture.

Nat and Tony both let out identical signs at this, the redhead running a hand through her hair.

“It’s been like this all week,” Bruce spoke up, concern lacing his tone, “I’ve hardly seen her for more than two minutes a day. Whenever I try to find her- she’s not anywhere I’d think she would be.”

“Same,” Natasha piped up, “It’s almost like she’s avoiding us.”

“You don’t think… she’s actually avoiding us, do you?” Sam asked, leaning forward in his seat.

Steve ran a hand down his face and sighed, “Why would she avoid us, though?”

Even Tony had the decency not to interject with one of his normal, snide comments. Instead, he announced, “JARVIS, tell me where she is.”

The team's eyes all widened in sync, clearly none of them had once thought of using the AI system to find you.

Instead of boasting about how he was just smarter than they were like Tony normally would, he just kept his lips in a thin, closed line and awaited the answer.

“Miss. L/N is currently occupying conference room number seventy two, on the sixth floor.” JARVIS’s voice rang out through the room, and everyone was on their feet in an instance.

Within the last week, every one of them had gone out of their way to try and look for you, never knowing where you were or if you were alright.

The door to your study room flew open and you let out a small yelp of surprise, jumping at the unanticipated arrival of every member of your team.

It was silent for a moment after they all pushed and shoved past each other to stumble into the room, as you all just stared at each other.

“O-oh, hey guys,” You stuttered, letting out a small, nervous chuckle, “What’re you doing here?”

“Why’ve you been avoiding us?” Sam blurted out without answering your question.

Multiple people face palmed and let out slight groans at his bluntness. Bucky- who was standing closest to him- slapped him upside the head. With his metal hand.

That had to hurt.

The question immediately made you defensive, and you crossed your arms, visually crawling back into your shell.

“I’m not avoiding you,” The words weren’t as firm as you would’ve liked.

“No?” Tony asked with a singular raised eyebrow, “Then why have we only seen you for five minutes in total this week?”

You shrugged, “I’ve been busy!”

“Busy doing what?” Clint prompted.

That was when you fell silent.

Your team didn’t say anything, though. They just kept staring, awaiting your reply.

The silence dragged and dragged, suffocating the room and everyone in it until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Studying,” You finally said softly.

Another silence followed, but this one was broken by Bruce, “And how many breaks have you taken to take care of yourself?”

They all knew you so well, they knew what your study habits were like. How unhealthy they were.

You shrugged stiffly, moving your eyes to face anywhere but where they stood.

“N/n,” Nat sighed, moving over to you, “You need to take care of yourself. This isn’t healthy.”

Steve moved up beside her, watching as you still avoided looking at any of them, tears filling your eyes, “We only say this because we care about you.”

His words were what finally made the first tear slip down your face.

“I know,” You whispered.

With a sigh, Steve opened his arms and wrapped them around you in a much needed hug.

Almost instantly, you broke down, relaxing in his arms and crying and crying until there were no tears left.

Someone from around you gently moved a piece of hair out of your face and someone else rubbed your back comfortingly.

When you finally opened your eyes, you were surrounded by your team- the people that cared for you more than anyone- who all wore soft expressions.

“Let’s take a break,” Steve whispered, stopping down to place a kiss on the top of your head, “You deserve it.”

Sniffling slightly, you nodded and allowed your team to lead you away and to one of the living rooms.

Tony had announced that you would all be having a movie night and you would be the one to pick what to watch.

Normally, there would be a lot fighting and bickering about what movie- but nobody said a word this time.

Some went off to get snacks- others getting blankets- as you all spread out around the room comfortably.

You ended up between Steve and Nat on the couch, the ladder absentmindedly running her fingers through your hair whilst you picked what you wanted to watch.

In the end, you settled on an old Disney classic, and we’re able to settle in while the opening music began to play.

“Thank you, guys.” You said softly to the room, truly meaning it.

“No need to thank us, n/n. We’re here for you. No matter what.” Steve said from beside you.

By the time the credits rolled around, you were fast asleep, breathing steadily with your head resting against Steve’s shoulder.

Said man smiled down softly at you, making sure to keep his movements to a minimum as you got some much needed sleep, surrounded by your loved ones.

We are Groot 🤎- @lovanitu @jvdethirlwall @ineedmorefanfics2 @sambucky8 @spidyyparker @irethepotato @femalemarvelself @mukbee @its-hell @ip747 @i-writes-things @popfishjr @mitsuki-murakami @mythixmagic @toecrust69 @etanordoesbullsh1t @wolfmoonmusic @nutellani @hyunzrii @scarthefangirl

396 notes · View notes

wandamaximoffsbadgirl · 3 months

Text

Let's Talk About That

I tried to bargain with the stars for more than half your heart (3)

Psychiatrist!Avenger!Fem!Reader x Wanda Maximoff

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, mentions of grief, Dom!Reader, sub!Wanda, spanking, use of pet names, Wanda calls R Doctor in bed, possessive behavior from R

Word count: 3.3K

A/N: This chapter somehow has everything hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, and smut all in one so please enjoy

May 4th 2016

Cap, Nat, Sam, and Wanda had just gotten back from a mission and you had already been hearing about it on the news.

"Wanda. My office. Now." You call as she exits the quinjet, following silently behind you. You let her move past you after you were in you office, closing the door behind us and as soon as the lock clicked she was on you, arms around you waist crying into you back.

"I tried so hard...all those people...how could I...?" She manages in between her sobs as you turn around, you manage to get her arms to move to you neck, moving you own to her thighs as you pick her up with ease. She wraps her legs around your waist now as you attempt to sooth her, rubbing her back and bouncing her slightly much like you would a small child.

"You did the best you could. It was an accident. We can't blame ourselves because of an accident." You remind her. "I don't want you drowning over this Wands. You held out for as long as you could. We can't save everyone." More words that felt useless as your shirt and neck became soaked by her tears, and her saliva. you’re sure there is also snot, but you’re trying not to think about that part.

You walk around the office with her in you arms, bouncing and soothing for well over an hour before the cries quiet down into soft sobs, and then into little hiccups, and eventually she stops and her breathing evens out, she tired herself out and fallen asleep on you. You can’t help, but let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh you sweet girl..." You rub her back and do something you normally don't do without explicit permission from you friends and especially with Wanda; you pull the bad emotion out of her. She was drowning and you made a promise that you’d never let her drown again.

In the quiet of your office, you take your hand to her back, laying it flat and then move away with a pulling motion, focusing on extracting the heavy emotions that lingered within her. It felt like grasping a viscous substance, something that clung stubbornly to her psyche. With careful precision, you managed to pull it free, holding it in you hand.

The dark, swirling mass writhed in you palm, a physical manifestation of Wanda's grief and guilt. Taking a deep breath, You hesitated for a moment, feeling the unpleasant energy emanating from it. Then, without second-guessing yourself, you brought it to you lips and swallowed.

The taste was repulsive, a bitter and nauseating sensation that lingered in the back of you throat. But as you consumed the emotional burden, you felt a strange sense of satisfaction and relief. Wanda, now free from the weight that had plagued her as she continued to sleep peacefully.

"You're safe now," You whispered, your gaze fixed on Wanda's serene face. The act you had just performed was not without consequences, and it wasn't a method you used lightly. However, in this instance, you believed it was the right thing to do to help her heal.

Wanda wakes up a short time later in a startle, calling out for you, you were at your desk doing paperwork, after being sent an e-mail about writing a report up on Wanda's mental health and your evaluation on her. "I'm right here. Come here sweet girl." You roll you chair back, patting you lap as she comes over, blanket still wrapped around her. You had taken her shoes and jacket off from earlier and had since changed you shirt.

She sits in you lap, facing you, once again burying her face into the crook of you neck as You pull us back towards you desk as You type away on you computer. "What are you working on?" She mumbles against you.

"I've been asked about my evaluations on the rest of the Avengers by the Secretary of State. I tend to take you notes the old fashion way so I have to transcribe my notes from paper to digital.” She nuzzles further into your neck, kissing at the crook of it, making you smirk. "Are you trying to distract me?"

"If I am Doctor?" She teases, nipping and then sucking lightly at the spot. Your hands find her hips as you grip tight enough to leave marks of you own as a light moan pushes past her lips.

"Then you're going to be in trouble because I need to finish these reports."

"What are you going to do? Spank me?"

"You're being such a little brat right now. I'm supposed to be the younger one here and yet," You move the two of you, the blanket falling to the ground as you bend her over you desk. "You're the one acting like a spoiled brat thinking you're going to get your way." You put one hand between her shoulder blades to hold her there. You understood why she was doing this, why she needed it. Without your help to put her in a better headspace she’d never stop worrying over what happened. "I want you to count and thank me for each one, understood?" You say, your voice dropping into a commanding one.

"Yes Doctor." You start giving her a hard spank. "One. Thank you Doctor!" She cries out. Your spanks were harsh, but Wanda loved them. You had started off rather light at first letting her tell you to go harder as she pleased until you found that good slap. She squirmed under your hand, trying to look at you as you continue until you get to 10.

Once you let go of her, she falls against your desk. You move away to grab some pillows and the blanket from earlier, making a little nest under you desk. She loved the small space under your desk and at this point it had become a sort of routine when you had too much work and she wanted to be close. You loved being able to look down and see her happily there at your feet. You knew Freud would have a field day with you if he were still alive. You hand her one of the tablets you keep around.

"Here you go. I have all of your favorite downloaded on there. I need to get these reports done and then I promise you can have all of my attention baby girl."

The atmosphere in the room shifted from a playful tease to a more intimate and controlled one. As you continued typing away at your reports, you could feel Wanda's lingering presence beneath you desk, the faint sounds of her favorite show playing on the tablet.

She settled into the little nest the two of you had created under the desk, surrounded by pillows and the soft glow of the tablet. You could sense the mixture of emotions in the air – a blend of submission, trust, and a subtle undercurrent of desire.

The discipline was a way to redirect her focus, to ground her after the emotional turmoil she had experienced earlier. It was a mutual understanding, a dynamic that allowed her to feel cared for and guided. You actions were not meant to harm, but to establish boundaries and bring comfort.

"Good girl," You whispered, you voice gentle as You planted a soft kiss on the crown of her head. "You enjoy your show, and I'll get these reports finished up."

As you focused on you work, You couldn't help but steal glances at Wanda from time to time. The sight of her curled up under the desk, absorbed in the familiar comfort of her favorite TV show, brought a sense of contentment. It was a unique moment of intimacy, one that spoke to the depth of our connection beyond the professional roles we played.

Eventually, as the reports neared completion, you could feel Wanda's eyes on you. She seemed to understand the importance of the task at hand, patiently waiting for your attention. And as you saved the final document, you closed the laptop, slid out from behind the desk, and joined her in the makeshift nest.

"Done," You announced, giving her a warm smile. "Now, how about we enjoy the rest of the evening together?" The tablet was set aside, and You wrapped you arms around her, embracing the connection we shared. In the quiet comfort of you office, surrounded by the soft glow of the tablet and the warmth of your bond, you allowed yourselves to simply be – partners.

=====================================================

Wanda and you had gotten back from the grocery store after deciding the two of you were going to make chicken paprikash meatballs, a dish she used to eat back home. You loved her having an outlet like this to be expressive. You helped with a few things, but you told her this was something you wanted her to do. You watched her with a smile and mostly was used to taste the sauce the meatballs would be going into and practically moaning at how good it was. "You're such a good cook baby girl. You'd make the perfect housewife." You say offhandedly.

"If I tell you all I’ve ever wanted was to be a stay at home house wife mom, would you be surprised?" She mentions.

"With what I know about you? Not one bit baby girl. I'd love that. Maybe one day..."

"Hello ladies." You hear Vision and you know you shouldn't, but you roll your eyes. You can't stand the synthizoid. For one you can't read him because he isn't human. Doesn't have a brain. Doesn't have emotions or an aura or anything. Secondly, he always tries to get Wanda's attention. You swear he's trying to flirt with her, but without being able to read him You can't tell.

"Hi Vis!" She smiles happily. "Harley and I were making dinner as part of my therapy." Wanda tells him which isn't entirely a lie. We haven't told anyone about our relationship. Figured it would be better if we didn't, not yet at least.

"Well that sounds like a wonderful idea. I know how much you love cooking." Vision mentions and you eyes slowly move and narrow on Wanda.

"Oh do you now?" You ask with a bit of venom. You’ve always been a jealous person. When something is yours it is YOURS.

"Oh uh well yes. Wanda and I had a conversation a few nights ago about it. she had also made dinner that night and I had come to her room to thank her for it." your jaw sets and locks as a predatory growl threatens to rip through you throat.

"You know I just remembered I have some paper work to do. I'll see you two later." You head off towards you room and not your office which you hear Vision question, but don’t hear if Wanda responds or not.

Once you get to you room You have F.R.I.D.A.Y sound proof you room and bring down the armor on you windows so they don't break and once she does you use you voice to scream out like a banshee,

"FUCK OFF VISION SHE'S MINE!" You yell out. “You don’t even eat food! Why the fuck are you thanking her for making dinner!?” Getting your anger out of you the only way you can since you can't just pull it out of yourself like you can for others.

As the echoes of you outburst faded into the stillness of you room, You took a deep, shuddering breath, the remnants of you anger simmering beneath the surface. F.R.I.D.A.Y had dutifully complied with you request, sealing off you room from the outside world, providing a cocoon of privacy where You could let your emotions run wild without fear of judgment or consequence.

But even as the adrenaline coursed through you veins, You knew that you outburst was irrational, driven by jealousy and insecurity. Wanda had never given you any reason to doubt her loyalty or affection, yet the mere presence of Vision seemed to ignite a primal instinct within you, a need to assert you claim over what You perceived as yours.

You sank down onto the edge of you bed, burying your face in your hands as you grappled with the tumultuous emotions swirling within you. It wasn't fair to Wanda, to subject her to the brunt of you insecurities, to lash out in a fit of possessiveness. She deserved better than that, deserved someone who could trust her implicitly, without question.

But try as you might, you couldn't shake the nagging doubt that lingered in the back of you mind, the fear of losing her to someone—or something—else. It was a vulnerability you had never been comfortable acknowledging, a weakness you had always tried to bury beneath a façade of confidence and strength.

As you sat there in the silence of you room, you knew that you needed to confront these feelings head-on, to find a way to move past the jealousy and insecurity that threatened to consume you. And perhaps, with time and patience, you could learn to trust in the strength of your bond, to believe in the love that bound us together, unbreakable and unwavering.

But for now, all You could do was take solace in the sanctuary of your room, letting the weight of you emotions wash over you until the storm within subsided, leaving behind a sense of clarity and resolve. And as you prepared to face the outside world once more, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would always fight for what was yours, for the love that had become the anchor of your soul.

=======================================================

Later that night, well after dinner. You once again had you room sound proofed by F.R.I.D.A.Y for a completely different reason.

Wanda was in the middle of you bed, on all fours. You left hand tangled in her hair, pulling to keep her upright and back arched. You right hand buried deep inside her as she moaned out in pleasure with you fingers pleasuring the deepest parts of her; Her most intimate spots that only you had ever gotten to touch.

"Who do you belong to?" You ask through you teeth.

"You Doctor!" She moaned out.

"No one else?"

"No Doctor! Just you! Only you! Only want you!" She cries out. "Please...can I cum, please? Been a good girl."

"Go ahead cum for me baby girl." Waves of pleasure hit her. The only waves that you’ll allow her to drown in. You let go of her hair as she goes limp against the bed, panting with exhaustion. "My good girl. I'm going to clean you up and get you a water." You kiss her temple, getting a warm, damp cloth, and a bottle from you mini fridge.

You help move her to lay properly on the bed before cleaning her off. Then You prop her up against the pillows. "Here you go sweetie. I'm going to grab you some undies and one of your baggy shirts." You tell her as she sips the water.

You get both of us changed and we cuddle. You give her a bunch of kisses.

"Y/N?" She asks looking up at you.

"Yes sweet girl?"

"Why did you get so upset earlier?"

"I don't like Vision..." You didn’t want to look at her. It was something you were hoping she wouldn’t ask you, but of course she did she’s Wanda and she’s attentive.

"Why?" You can hear the confusion in her voice because to everyone else Vision has done nothing to deserve you feeling this way towards him.

"I can't read him; at all. He doesn't have feelings or emotions, not real ones. It's completely different than a human. He doesn't have an aura to read either." You tell her, running you fingers through her hair.

"I like Vision. He's nice to me. The others are too, but I can still tell they're scared of me. Vision isn't he never has been just like you." Wanda tells you.

"That's what scares me." You admit, your mouth feels a lot dryer and your palms sweaty. You try rubbing them on your thighs, but it doesn’t really help.

"Why does that scare you?" She sits up.

"What if...what if you think he's better than me? What if..." You can't even say it. There's a knot in you throat, you chest, you stomach. You don't realize it, but you’ve started crying. You only notice when Wanda is wiping your tears.

"I love you Y/N." You stare in disbelief. The two of you hadn't said that to each other yet. You feel the words in you throat, you want to say them back because you do feel that way, but the jealous gremlin in you brain decides to say this instead,

"Do you?"

"What?" She asks in disbelief.

"You flirt with him Wanda! I know you do!" You pull away from her touch. "He flirts with you and you flirt right back! Also he's been in your room and you didn't even tell me!? Why the hell wouldn't you tell me!?" You yell and spit with venom, your words intending to hurt, but you never wanted to hurt her. Your jealousy felt like an uncontrollable storm. Something you had tried to contain for too long and now it was all coming to a head.

"You don't mean that Y/N." She moves closer. "I can hear your thoughts screaming out at me. I understand you're jealous, but I do truly love you. Nothing is going on between Vision and I." Her hands are on your cheeks again. You’re crying against her just as she's done a handful of times to you.

"I-I love you t-too." You manage between you sobs.

"I know you do Malyshka." She says softly, fingers running through your hair and the other hand rubbing soothing circles against your back.

As Wanda's comforting words washed over you, You felt a mixture of relief and shame flood through you veins. Shame for allowing your jealousy to spiral out of control, for lashing out at the person you loved most in the world. And yet, in that moment, You also felt a sense of vulnerability, a raw honesty that laid bare the depths of your emotions.

Her hands on you were a grounding presence, a reminder of the love and understanding that existed between us. Despite you insecurities, despite the storm of emotions raging within you, Wanda remained steadfast by you side, offering you solace and support when You needed it most.

"I'm sorry," You whispered, you voice hoarse with emotion. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just...I let my jealousy get the best of me."

Wanda's gaze softened, her thumb brushing away the tears that streaked you cheeks. "I know, Malyshka," she murmured, her tone gentle and reassuring. "But you have to trust me. There's nothing between Vision and I. You're the one I love, the one I want to be with."

Her words were like a balm to you wounded soul, soothing the ache of doubt and fear that had plagued you for so long. In that moment, you realized that your jealousy had stemmed not from any real threat, but from you own insecurities and doubts.

"I do trust you," You said, you voice trembling with sincerity. "I trust you more than anyone else in this world."

And as you wrapped your arms around Wanda, pulling her close to you, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, the two of you would face them together, united in your love and devotion. For in each other's arms, you two had found a sanctuary, a haven of warmth and acceptance where your hearts could truly be free.

#ley writes #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff smut #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda x you #wanda maximoff angst

231 notes · View notes

vase-of-lilies · 1 year

Text

A Hard Week

❀ Mommies!WandaNat x Little!Reader (F)

❀ Stress, MD/LG themes, slight coercion but good coercion, baby talk, little reader, slight psychotic break but just a breakdown, crying, cuddling, poly relationship

❀ Request: A fic where reader is having a really bad week and just breaks down one day because she’s so anxious and stressed. Wanda and Nat see this and takes the time out to help her get little and let her relax.

❀ A/N: Request sent in by @fragilepuppi! Thank you for your kind words, and I am thinking about moving the toy lion, the scarlet witch and the tiny wardrobe to Tumblr again! But thank you for the super kind words and thank you for reblogging and being so interactive with my stories:) Gif by me:)

Finals week. The dreaded week in college where professors become serious, strict, and pushy. The week where they don’t care about your mental health, only your grades. You, an overachiever is their most vulnerable target for pushiness. If they say to redo it, you don’t ask why, you find what you did wrong on your own and fix it yourself. Feeling like an inconvenience if you ask for help.

It was taking a toll on you, and Wanda and Nat could tell. You would shut yourself in your room for hours on end, studying and taking notes like a machine. But you aren’t a machine, you needed to eat, drink, shower, and sleep. And you did none of that. You pushed your own needs away to keep your head in the game to get a good final grade. It was your last year after all, before you got your degree!

Every hour, Wanda or Natasha would come in with a new glass of water and some snacks wanting to make sure that you were getting what you need. But to their disappointment they found a full plate and a half drunken cup of water, the ice fully melted and condensed onto the outside of the cup. As your music blasted into your headphones, they could only do so much. They would give you a kiss, and watch you for a few minutes before closing your door and waiting for the next hour to arrive.

“Im really worried about her, she is pushing herself to the limit and we haven’t seen our little girl in a while.” Wanda says to Nat as they cuddle on the couch. They were so worried about you, and only wanted to see you happy and not stressed. Natasha agrees, sighing as she holds Wanda to her chest.

“I know hon, I just want to scoop her up and hold her until she falls asleep. There are more empty coffee cups in her trash than empty water bottles. This week is killing her.”

Wanda sighed into her girlfriends shirt and Watched the slideshow of pictures that filled the TV screen when it turned off. The pictures of you three made her smile. Your eyes were bright and full of emotion, not tired and emotionless. Your smile was genuine, not a simple acknowledgment of Wanda or Nat when they come into your room.

“I hate how much she loves to work. She works too hard, and I don’t know how to help her. I know this week is important to her, but even with the coffee she still looks exhausted. I want our little girl back.” Natasha nods and kisses Wandas forehead, and thinks of a plan to help you take a break.

What the women were not expecting was you to come out of your room. Tears were pooled in your eyes and you looked so tired. They sat up a little bit and looked at each other, knowing that they need to bring their little out of her shell. “Hi Angel, its good to see you out of your room.” Wanda says, reaching out her hands to you.

As you see them happy to see you, the dam breaks and you let out a small sob as tears fall down your cheeks. Wanda gently pulls you to sit in between her and Nat and she rubs your back to comfort you.

“Oh angel, shh, its ok, your mommies are here.” Wanda whispers, looking to Nat with the look. She reaches into the drawer next to the couch and brings out your teddy bear pacifier. She doesn’t push it on you just yet, wanting you to come out when you felt ready.

“Doll, can you tell us what’s wrong?” Natasha asks you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“I- I just can’t t-t-take it anymore. Mr. Jordan j-just wants to see me suffer. He doesn’t want m-me to succeed.” Your tears fall onto your shirt, and you clench your fists in your lap. “He told me to redo a paper four times, and I still can’t tell what’s wrong with it. I ran it th-through grammar check after grammar check and he just throws it in his digital trash bin like its a line scribbled by a 2 year old. I- I want to quit school, Im so done!”

Wanda looks down at you with sad eyes, and says “Its alright Angel, can you tell mommy what you need?” She tries to coax you into your little space, knowing you need it more than they do. Natasha lays you back on the couch and cups your cheek. “You can trust us, doll. Can you talk to your mommies so we can help?”

Their voices become a little higher, the type of tone they talk to you with when you go into your little space. You subconsciously took note of this, and the little voice inside your head whispers for you to let go. You curl in on yourself as you let your little space take over.

“Wanna cuddle... M-maybe baf?” Your pronunciation is a little wonky, now that you are falling into your little space by the second. Nat smiles and shows you your paci. Your eyes light up and you happily open your mouth as she puts the binkie to your lips. Wanda smiles and kisses your forehead as you lay against her, Natasha pulling you both into her lap on the big couch.

“Such a good little doll, your mommies got you, you’ll be ok.” Natasha whispers, running her fingers through your tangled hair, being careful not to pull too hard on getting the knots out. Wanda gently tickles your arm to relax you, and your eyes become heavy.

“Seepy, so seepy…” You whisper passed the pacifier in your mouth, and Natasha looks down at you. “Sleep little doll, we’ve got you, and you’re in a safe place. Not even mean Mr. Jordan can get you here.” She smiles at your little giggle, knowing that your professor is your biggest enemy when you are little.

As the two women calm you down and wipe your tears, Wanda uses her telepathic powers to start the bathtub from the couch. Your ears perk at the sound of the running water, but you fall back asleep in her arms. “We’ll get you in the bath when you wake up, doll. Ok?” You nod in your sleep, sniffling every now and then but finally able to calm down in your mommies arms.

It was just what you needed in the hardest and most stressful week of your college life. Relaxing in your girlfriend's arms in a mental place that makes you feel safe. You are so grateful for them, and couldn’t thank them enough. Well, maybe when you are back in your big space you could find a way to thank them. For now, you are happy and getting better, just as your mommies wanted to help you.

#wanda maximoff x you #natasha romanoff x you #Wandanat x reader #mommy wanda #Mommy natasha #Wandanat x little reader #little reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda x female reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #Mommy!Wandanat x Little!Reader

878 notes · View notes

bisluthq · 2 years

Note

I really don’t think that Taylor is in therapy at all. Yeah she uses therapy language but I think Joe uses/used it a lot hence that rubbed off on her same way how her mannerisms and shit rubbed off on him. I think she’s an anxious person and celebs like her are SUPER anxious to get therapists because it can go to TMZ really fast. Nicki minaj was terrified to even call ambulance because she was scared it’d get flashed on TMZ. Therapists can’t disclose shit about their patients but you can never be too sure and idk I just don’t get the vibe that Taylor’s in therapy.

Maybe but how weird she was about answering that makes me think she is tbh.

#nat talks mental health

1 note · View note

questionableratatouille00 · 10 months

Text

ʜɪɢʜᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: In an effort to get the two of you to bond, Tony Stark sends you and the ex-assassin Bucky Barnes on a road trip together. The problem? You hate each other. The situation? Two weeks in a car together. The reward: three days of a resort vacation. And the problem? He's kinda cute.

Warnings (Entire Series): Enemies-to-lovers, cursing, sexual tension, angst, fluff, crying, fighting, violence, chaos, mentions/talk of trauma, discussions of mental health, and potentially more.

Warnings: Enemies-to-lovers, sexual tension, cursing, arguments.

|| Part 2 ||

[Series Masterlist]

---------------------------------------------

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝑨𝒊𝒏’𝒕 𝑩𝒊𝒈 𝑬𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒇 𝑼𝒔

“It’s just two weeks, Buck. You’ll be fine.” Steve attempts to reassure his best friend, though it doesn’t seem to be working. “She’s really not as bad as you make her out to be.”

Bucky says nothing, rolling his eyes instead. "This whole idea is a waste of time. I'm not going." He grumbled. Stark had the grand idea to send the most incompatible people in the entire Avenger's Compound on a fucking road trip.

"You have to go. Tony said it's non-negotiable. I'm sure she doesn't like the idea either, but there's nothing we can do about it. Just...try and make the best of it."

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have to actually go." Bucky grumbled, stuffing more things into a suitcase. Steve was supposed to be helping, but he was really just there to try and convince Bucky that this was for the greater good, or whatever. Something like that.

This was going to be an insufferably long two weeks.

--------------

"Two weeks and three days. Three days of actual vacation! This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Nat, you gotta get me out of this." You pleaded with the Avenger.

"Already tried. Tony won't budge." She gave an apologetic shrug. "Maybe you'll find out you share a lot of common interests."

"Right, because me and the ninety-nine year-old man are basically twinsies. Thanks, Nat."

"Maybe you'll just decide to fuck halfway-through." Yelena interrupts. "Like, full-on go at each other. The tension is very strong. Very strong." Her accent is thick as she digs through your closet.

"She's right, I've read too many romance novels to know how this turns out." Kate agrees, judging your shoe collection.

"What? Ew--God, no. That's...so fucking disgusting to think about." You shudder. "He's a total asshole."

"He's not so bad." Yelena shrugged. "Helped take down the Red Room. Good enough for me."

"He can't be that bad, right? I haven't really talked with the guy, but he seems chill." Kate ponders.

"What they mean to say is that it will be fine." Nat attempts to assure you.

"I hate him and I hate everything about it." You rage quietly as Yelena stuffs shampoo and conditioner into your suitcase. You were packing one suitcase and one backpack. Yelena, Kate, and Natasha were supposed to be helping, but they were really just goofing off and occasionally helping you grab something.

"The trip isn't even worth it, anyway. One week of driving to get there, three days of the actual resort, and then a week back. It doesn't make any sense." You tried to reason.

"The whole point of the trip is to get you two to bond. Or at least to not bicker and argue over the comms during missions." Nat rationalized. "It'll not only be good for you two, but for the team as a whole."

You thought for a moment, considering it. You could agree that the idea made sense, but still. He was a dick to you most of the time, so what was the point?

"Fine." You said. "But if he starts shit, I'm not going to let him walk all over me."

Sighing, Natasha nodded.

"If he pisses you off, just kill him--very easy. You know how to do it." Yelena stated ever so casually.

"Yelena!" Kate and Natasha exclaimed at the same time.

--------------

You scowled as you loaded your suitcase and backpack into the backseat of the truck. You even made sure all of your stuff was directly behind the driver's seat. Your seat. You were going to drive.

Bucky Barnes, seemingly getting the message, put his singular suitcase behind the passenger side.

Tony and Steve stood outside the huge garage, watching as the two of you loaded up the truck. Tony had bought the truck a while ago, but he never really ended up driving it often. He thought it would be perfect for this trip.

"Don't die, if you sleep in the car make sure to lock the doors, get a motel when you can, stay safe and have fun, blah blah blah, don't crash my truck." Tony told the two of you. Steve gave him the Eyebrows of Disappointment before turning back to you. "Please don't kill each other. Stay in a motel or something when you can." Steve quickly hugged Bucky goodbye, stepping inside, and you turned to walk to the driver's side.

"What're you doing?" Bucky asked from behind you.

"Getting in the car?" The way he said it annoyed you.

"I'm driving." He declared.

"No you're not. I am. You watched me put my stuff behind the seat--my seat!"

"I am driving the damn car. Move."

"No you are fucking not. Get your ancient ass to the passenger seat." I growl. "Your driving is shit. Move out of the way before I make you." He says, sharp blue eyes glaring straight into yours.

"What're you gonna do? Throw me?"

Without saying a word, he put both of his hands on your biceps, squeezing lightly, before slightly picking you up and moving you to the side. He did it so easily, too. Most likely due to the serum, along with the vibranium arm. You felt the rage seeping into your body, and just before you could throw a punch, Tony called out from the door inside the garage. "Take turns, losers! Jesus Christ."

You both look at him as he says this, before looking back at each other. Shoving him out of the way, you open the truck door. He sticks up both of his middle fingers as he walks around the back of the truck. As you buckle your seatbelt, you consider just backing up the truck as he walked behind it. He wouldn't die. He probably wouldn't even fall over. It could be a total accident. A little oopsie, if you will.

Just before you could ponder the potential attempted murder, Bucky opened the passenger door, hopping into the truck. You plug your phone into the truck, putting on your favorite playlist. The one Bucky hated. It was a very personal 'fuck you' to the Super Soldier sitting next to you. He looked like he wanted to make some kind of comment, but he didn't.

Pulling out of the huge driveway, you knew one thing for sure.

This was going to be a long two weeks.

#mcu #marvel #bucky barnes #marvel mcu #marvel cinematic universe #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x you #bucky barnes enemies to lovers #james buchanan barnes #Highway to Hell

257 notes · View notes

mrs-barnes-rogers-writes · 1 month

Text

Pretty As A Picture - Chapter 2

Marvel

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: When Bucky fell from the train, their soulmate was told he was gone. When Steve Rogers disappeared into the ice, their soulmate was again told one her soulmates were gone. But she didn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. Committed to a mental health institute, she dies of a broken heart. That's at least what the hidden S.H.I.E.LD files say, but if that's the case than why is there a photo of her. A photo that shows her side by side two redhaired Avengers.

Chapter Summary: Bucky doesn't need to know how to print a photo, but he needs to know why his dead soulmate is in the one he's looking at.

Chapter Warning: Mentions of death, sad Bucky. Mentions of vomiting.

Bucky felt like his stomach was going to full out his ass. He slowly rose from picking up the photo, feeling like he’d met his stomach on the way back up.

“How?” He asked, voice breaking as he spoke.

“How what James?” Asked Wanda, brow furrowed as she picked up on his distress.

“How? The photo? How?”

“Wanda took the photo on her phone, it was then sent by a wireless connection to the printer. Would you like us to show you how it works?” replied Vision.

“It’s not that Vis, I don’t think? James?”

Bucky felt his confusion boil over into anger. Did the synthezoid really think he didn’t know how to print a picture? He’d lived in Wakanda, the most advanced country in the world for a year and these idiots think he can’t work a damn printer and a phone.

“Not the damn phone! The photo! How do you have a photo? A photo of her?!?” Bucky’s frustration aimed at Wanda. Vision not taking too kindly to his raised voice being aimed at Wanda, stepped towards him, placing himself slightly in front of her.

“Sergeant Barnes, I’m going to ask you to calm down.”

“Vis, it’s Ok.” She replied stepping around him “James, the photograph? She looks like someone you know?”

Wanda didn’t really need to ask. Bucky’s stoic behaviour usually caused him to block his emotions and feelings from Wanda reading him but now they were fully on show and streaming out of him. She couldn’t not see them. A reaction like this meant one thing. Soulmates.

Bucky nodded tears beginning to rundown his cheeks.

“How do you have this? How do you have her on a photo?”

“Her? Who do you think this is?” She asked pointing at the woman in the photo with herself and Nat.

“She's ours. She’s my soulmate. Our soulmate.” He answered.

Even with his super soldier hearing, so caught up in seeing his lost soulmate, Bucky was oblivious that the rest of the team were now standing behind him. Including Steve.

“What? Buck what are you talking about?” Asked Steve.

Bucky turned towards Steve his hand shaking as he passed him the photo.

“How is this possible? How?”

Natasha’s eyes caught a glimpse of the photo he was holding, discreetly side eyeing Wanda who nodded.

“Anyone want to bring me up to speed here?” asked Tony, trying to catch a glimpse of the photo. Bruce did the same, recognising all of the people pictured immediately.

“Well, that’s Natasha, that’s Wanda and that’s…..wait what’s going on? When did you meet her?” Bruce asked Steve.

“Okay, well I’m no more informed with Bruce’s explanation. Ladies want to enlighten us?”

Nobody answered as Steve headed towards Wanda, eyeing her stack her photos.

“Do you have more?”

Wanda nodded, flicking through the others and pulling out another picture. The same figure this time front and centre, holding a stick of candyfloss. Grinning like it’s the best thing in the world. Natasha is in the background with an expression that is very Natasha, slight smirk, slight eyebrow raise. Wanda thought it captured both your personalities perfectly.

“Here.” She passed the photo to Steve. He let out a choked sob, pushing the photo toward Bucky, rushing into the bathroom, the sound of heaving heard before the door closed.

Unable to hold his simmering emotions anymore, Bucky sank to the floor, clutching the photo and sobbed.

#steve rogers x reader #avengers au #bucky barnes #steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #avengers #steve x reader x bucky #soulmate au #avengers soulmate au #steve rogers x reader x bucky

50 notes · View notes

boo8008 · 9 months

Text

Three Months - Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Fem!Reader

Prologue | Chapter 01: Quadriller | Chapter 02: Mince

Notes: Its been one year since The Bear's soft open, and with everything running smoothly, Carmen's lost in his thoughts, until the final table of the night is seated.

Notes: This is my first time really writing so let me know what you think, I'm probably gonna do more just for me. If there's something I should add/remove from the tags please let me know. I hope you enjoy :)

A year after their soft open, The Bear is like a well oiled machine, working perfectly as Richie calls out the orders and their corresponding tables. Carmen’s on auto pilot as he works, doing his best to not think about where he was this time last year: breaking down in the walk-in and subsequently breaking up with Claire. If you can even call it a break up, he still isn't sure if they were actually dating.

He’s pulled from his thoughts as Fak enters again announcing the final table of the night was just seated. Almost from memory Richie calls out your name and party of one, doing more than trowing Carm from his thoughts; practically gut-punching him through the thick metal wall of the walk-in with memories of New York, not the asshole of an executive chef he worked for but of the calm and blissful three months he had from December to February with you.

Before his life got uprooted.

Before The Beef.

Before Mikey…

He’s brought back as Richie yells at him before he looks up at him, looking at his face.

“Cousin, you good?”

“I’m fine.”

“You don't look fine, chef.”

“I’m fine.” Carmen insists again.

Richie rolls his eyes as he returns to calling out orders for a moment.

“You look like your gonna throw up,” Sydney mutters.

“I’m fucking fine, Jesus fuck,” Carmen snaps. Stoping his task as he looks up to Sydney then Richie, whose still scribbling something down.

“Take five chef.” Richie says, still not looking up.

“Richie, I said-”

“It wasn't a request Carm.” Richie finally looks up at him, ever sense that test night a year ago, and when Richie started wearing suits, hes been more final in his input. Telling and suggesting and researching rather than just complaining. Fuck he even learned to do more prep properly to help out on the busier nights. Why Richie even stayed after that night he isn’t sure, the shit he said was fucked. He wouldn't have blamed him, Syd, or anyone else for walking out on him if they did.

“Syd take over for Carm, Tina for Syd, and Alex for Tina; Carm needs a sec.” If the uniformed call of “Yes Chef” from the kitchen doesn't do it, the sudden movement of the kitchen to function without him more than solidifies it. Carmen’s taking five wether he wants to or not.

Not wanting a repeat of a year ago, Carm takes to the office instead, seeing Sugar seated at the desk looking at paperwork, all shes been relegated to now that shes just had little Mikey. A name Carmen was surprisingly happy to approve of when Pete brought it up to the two of them, asking if it was okay. Nat had nearly bawled her eyes out thanks to the combination of pregnancy hormones and the normal grasp she had on her emotions compared to Carmen.

“You look like your gonna throw up,” she says, glancing up from the papers before her. A half hearted fuck off is all she gets in responce as Carmen flops back on the soft leather couch in the office. She tosses him the pepto before she turns to sign something.

“You wanna talk about why Richie kicked you off?” she asks, her back still turned.

“It’s nothing,” he says before taking a swig of the pink liquid as he sits up and faces her.

“It’s not nothing if you look like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like that,” she says turning and gesturing vaguely at him. “Like you just found out Santa isn’t real or some-fucking-thing.” Carmen shakes his head avoiding her gaze and looking out the door with a huff. Crossing his arms trying to end the conversation. It wasn't that he never wanted to talk about it, he did. He just didn't have the time.

The last time he had told any one about you, he had talked to Mikey about how awkwardly ended things with you. Mikey told him not to be a jagoff after hearing his rant. That was almost a week before he died. It became easier to not think about you because it always led to thoughts of Mikey. How Carm should have known or should have talked to him more about how he was, how the beef was doing, how ma and Natilie were, if there was anything Michael wanted to get off his chest or was stressed about or something other than Carmen's girl problems.

Then Carm had to worry about selling his apartment in New York, quitting his job, getting an apartment here and moving, running The Beef, which was its own massive undertaking, turning it into The Bear and worrying about Claire, dishes, codes, tests, money that was likely tied to the mob via Uncle Jimmy, chefs, the building, new hires, the test night and the the dreaded walk-in he had to thank for letting him rant until he talked out of his ass and fucked up his personal life even more.

“Fine whatever avoid it if you want but thats not going to make it any better,” Nat huffed out, rolling her eyes as she turned. Carmen knew she was right, but that didn't make it any easier. But if the Al-Anon meetings had taught him anything it was that talking about it did actually help.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, leg bouncing with the nerves of from trying to find the words he wanted to say.

“When I was in New York,” he started, already feeling a nervous sweat breakout on his face, back, and hands. “There was this girl…”

#carmy berzatto #carmy x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #the bear fic #the bear hulu #the bear fx #carmy x you #carmy x fem!reader #jeremy allen white

158 notes · View notes

sosa2imagines · 6 months

Text

I know where I belong. Part 5

----------------------------------------------------- Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 ----------------------------------------------------- Warnings- Fluff for everyone, tiny mention of Steve -----------------------------------------------------

You had gotten over the pain, Steve had caused you. Talking about Steve, ever since he came back to the tower, he had been sent to back to back missions, and miss Sharon was busy to rise up in her career. Good for you though, you didn't have to see them much or hear their stupid moans.

Now it had became a daily basis thing, for you and Bucky to spend the nights together. You mostly spent time with Bucky, Nat, Wanda, Sam and Tony. You guys had become a happy little family.

Bucky made sure you are in good health, mentally and physically. You went for runs together, meditated together, practice your skills together. But little did you both know, that both of you were finding it difficult to control yourself, around each other. Bucky was still stuck on the idea of going to Wakanda, meanwhile you kept every trainee, any girl except for Nat and Wanda as far as possible away from Bucky.

Now spending time with Bucky felt different. Staring at Bucky would make you feel heat in your body, your stomach did do summersaults whenever you got slight touches by him. Bucky would often tease you about your blushing, and you would awkwardly laugh, and he found that cute too. And good lord have mercy on shirtless days, you blamed anything possible, but nothing made sense.

So on a very boring night, when you both were sleepless and had nothing to do, you teased Bucky to sing, and he did, by playing Bruno Mars. "Can I have this dance with you mam?" he bow down offering you his hand, you laughed at his antics, clearing your throat "Well yes kind sir" you took his hand and he began to swing you both, humming to the lyrics "I ain't playing no games Every word that I say is coming straight from the heart So if you tryna lay in these arms I'ma leave the door open" and with one last swing you crashed into his chest. His arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you closer to him until the two of you are pressed tightly against each other "Bucky" you whisper, your breath fanning out across his face. He licks his lips "Y/n" his breath hits your lips and you whimper softly. Just as he leans down, someone clears their throat.

It was Steve giving you both a hard glare. Bucky ignored him and took your hand and went out of the room, without giving Steve a chance to say anything. But that didn't stop you from thinking about the attempt of kiss, what would have happen if you both had kissed? Will it change your friendship? Would you be more than friends? Stupid Steve! ruin the moment. Little did you know, Bucky was thinking the exact same thing. Stupid Steve!

Both of you were red, from the earlier situation, and the fact that you are still holding hands. On the way to your unknown destination, you heard noises coming from the lab. It was Tony, on rare nights he would crash in the tower. "I'll wait for you in the kitchen. Bucky tells you, you nod and go to meet Tony.

"Hey Tons" you whisper and Tony yelps in shock, "Jesus have mercy on me!" putting a hand over his heart. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you home?" Tony tried to scoff, but when he saw your death glare, he gulped "Pepper and I had a fight" he said it casually as if telling you the local news. "What? why? what did you do?" you ask him. "Why do people assume it's me whenever something happens?" "I don't know maybe because you are Tony Stark?" "Damn right, anyway we were supposed to go out tomorrow, and I forgot, I tried to fix it but the babysitter is not free tomorrow" he quickly tells you, seeing you were about to open your mouth. "I will look after her" you offer. "You will?" he asks with hope in his voice. "Yeah me and Bucky can babysit, we don't have any missions or paper work." you tell him. "Tin man will be okay looking after Morgan too?" Tony smirks "Apart from you?" "Tony!" you warn him and he rolls his eyes playfully. "But really you both can babysit her?" "Of course, I miss my goddaughter" Tony gives you a big brotherly hug "You are a life savior!" "Anything for family" you smiled at him.

"So what are you doing all alone, terminator is sleeping?" You glare at him, and Tony mock surrenders "Fine Barnes" "He's in the kitchen" you blush thinking about Bucky which is not unnoticed by Tony. "Late night dinner date?" " About that, I need your advice" "I'm all ears, tell me" he wiggles his brows looking at you curiously. You tell him every single thing from, when you started to feel jealous, to not feeling anything for Steve, all the way to tonight, you guys dancing and almost about to kiss. "Stupid Steve" Tony scowls. "That's what I said" you both high fived each other.

"But don't you think I'm falling for Bucky too soon?" "Y/N it's ok not to feel anything for Steve it does not mean you didn't love him, it only means you have moved on, you had pain, but now it's time to gain, it's ok if you are falling for Bucky, and you are blushing hearing his name", yes you were blushing, every single time when Bucky crossed your mind you did blushed a lot. "Plus no offence if the idiot golden boy can cheat, you can definitely move on, take your time Y/n feel this new beginning, now go to your man" Tony advices you.

"Marriage and parenthood has made you smart, I love you Tony" before Tony can say anything you gave him a quick hug "Bring Morgan tomorrow and go to sleep" with that you left to go find Bucky leaving a speechless and smiling Tony behind.

When you enter the kitchen you saw Bucky sitting at the dinning table with his head down. You sat across him and grabbed his hand.

He looked at you with a sad smile. You gave his palm a light squeeze "Y/n I didn't meant to make you feel awkward.." "You didn't make me feel awkward Buck, we have been dancing around our feelings far too long now. We need to talk" Bucky nodded, you both just sat across each other, holding hands and staring at each other, before opening your mouths in unison. "I think I'm falling in love with you" "I think I'm falling in love with you"

You both looks at each other wide eyes, and Bucky spoke first "Y/n I don't know when I started to fall for you but..." he was nervous to speak and he started to fiddle with the fabric of his sleeve, you hold his hand making him look at you "Bucky even I don't know, how or when I started to fall in love with you." by this time you both had tears in your eyes. "Y/n you are trying to move on and I have no doubts about you, but I don't want to take advantage of the situation" "Bucky I don't even know when I stopped thinking about Steve. He no longer lives in my heart or mind Buck, you do!" Bucky's head snap towards yours, hearing your confession, a tear roll down his cheek, while you tried to blink the tears away, but failed miserably.

"Doll I don't think I have a heart, all I know is pain" "Bucky do you know why you feel pain?", Bucky shook his head no to your question, making you chuckle a bit even though your tears were flowing down. "It is because when you have a heart then there will be pain, and when there is pain then there will be heart too, and with that you will feel other emotions too, but most importantly you'll feel love." "It's a sweet difficulty isn't it doll?" "Yes it is, but we can over come together" "Doll I'm scared, I don't want to lose you and our friendship" "Bucky, even I'm scared, I don't want to lose you and our friendship, but looks like I'm in love with my best friend" you cried and Bucky jumped from the table coming to your side, he crouched down and took your face in his hands "I love you Y/n" and with the confession, Bucky kissed you, softly but passionately. Then he rested his forehead on yours, "I love you too Buck", you both chuckled, tears turning to sniffs.

"Doll go on a date with me tomorrow" "I would love to but not tomorrow" "Why?" he pouts, you kissed his pout making him blush "Tomorrow we are babysitting Morgan" he looked at you to elaborate more, you shook your head "It's a long story Buck" "I'm not sleepy" "Then I'll tell you"

----------------------------------------------------- Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 ----------------------------------------------------- (Part 5 is here lovely people, I hope you all enjoy. Please as always comments and feedbacks are appreciated. If you have any requests let me know. Pretty soon we will get rid of Sharon, just hang in there. 😅❤️) -----------------------------------------------------

#sebastian stan characters #chris evans characters #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x reader angst

113 notes · View notes

eroticwound · 11 months

Text

The Parentification of the Berzatto Siblings: Mikey’s Mental State

Let’s take a look at Donna’s mental state, as a way of understanding Mikey’s. Donna is dealing with mental illness. She most likely has a personality disorder (Borderline would be my guess) that might be comorbid with a mood disorder (Bipolar or Intermittent Explosive Disorder), and is using alcohol to self-medicate.

Donna’s alcoholism doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Because of her mental illness and the stressors of being a single mom, she is self-medicating with alcohol, meaning she is using it to numb herself out. Between 50 and 70% of people with BPD have substance abuse issues, and 41% of those with Bipolar disorder self-medicate.

This is the state of the Barzatto Family Home: the unstable woman at the center, who can be fun and funny, but is incredibly volatile. She is influencing and modeling behavior for all of the Bear Sibs. So looking back at Michael, as the oldest son, the burden of Donna’s moods and the state of his siblings (and any guests that happen to be around) is firmly on him. And he is empathetic enough to get others out of their funk and charming enough to keep things positive and running (relatively) smoothly. But all the anxiety of this situation—the parentification, which forces a child to disregard their own emotions and well-being in favor of their parent—gets severely internalized, and then masked by his ability to be loud and funny.

Mikey is avoidant above all else. In that first interaction in Fishes, between him and Nat, he literally says, “with [Mom], not handling it is the best way to handle it.” And this approach of his pops up again and again, whether he’s avoiding Carmy (by not picking up the phone or engaging in difficult conversations, or literally, when he leaves the pantry after Carm gives him the present), avoiding handling Donna, or avoiding dealing with his own mental health. This is in no way helped by the fact Mikey is most likely dealing with some form of chemical imbalance, whether it’s depression or bipolar disorder like Donna.

Add to all this the self-medicating behavior Donna models for him, and it’s a fairly clear line from internalizing and masking his pain, to substance abuse; alcohol and pain medication and whatever else he was using are just more intense ways of avoiding his pain. They are quite literally the only ways he’s managing his distress.

In fact, so much of Mikey’s behavior is modeled off of Donna:

The first person to throw a utensil in Fishes is not Michael, it’s actually Donna. She throws one at Steve while Mikey and Richie are giving Carm a tough time about Claire.

Mikey hits himself after Carm gives him the gift, and Donna hits herself at the dinner table.

If Donna hadn’t driven her car through the wall, the scene Mikey makes at the dinner table might’ve been the big story from that Christmas.

And then of course there’s the traumatic tirade Donna goes on about killing herself. That seems like a fairly common threat in the Berzatto household. And it makes me wonder if the gun Michael used to kill himself was his father’s, the one that Donna threatened to use.

And this is a real issue with Parentification: it becomes normalized and perpetuated. These roles and behaviors become integrated into a child’s personality, and alters ideas of what normal and healthy relationships look like. You can see this in how Michael treats Carmen. It was normalized for Mikey to handle Donna in the kitchen. It never occurs to him that baby Carm shouldn’t be around that. But it is normalized *and* unavoidable, so Michael let’s him take on that responsibility. Even the way he talks to Carm, calling him moody, a saltine—these are intended to get Carmen out of his head, but they are also cruel and tell Carm that his emotions are too much, that his emotions can’t compete with Donna’s. After all, Donna and Mikey work together as a parental unit.

You see it especially in the first Mikey-Carmy-Donna Kitchen scene in Fishes, where Donna and Mikey gang up on Carmy together, getting Carm to say he’s happy to be home and loves them. This is a lie to smooth things over on Carmen’s end, but if being around Donna is bad for Carm, it’s bad for all of them. Living at home has got to be triggering, and you can tell throughout Fishes just how done Michael is with it.

Michael’s adulthood is so sad. We know that he had a trail of failed business ventures, money problems, and even had to move back in with Donna. He doesn’t seem to have a girlfriend, and is stuck telling the same old stories from his youth, because the best he can do is mask his dysfunction and entertain everyone. All of this is a self-perpetuating cycle, his avoidance making sure he cannot ask for the help he needs, and his relative functionality ensuring no one pushes the issue.

My next post will breakdown some of the key Mikey scenes in Fishes.

#michael berzatto #mikey berzatto #donna berzatto #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #natalie berzatto #sugar berzatto #the bear #the bear fx #parentification #bear meta #the bear meta #meta

122 notes · View notes

waitmyturtles · 9 months

Text

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 4 (“UHHH, IF I FEEL SOMETHING, DOES IT MEAN I HAVE FEELINGS, WOMP?”) EDITION

That’s how I felt after watching yesterday’s episode. I have NO BUSINESS writing meta in my current life-mental state, but I NEED to get a few words down. Just some list-y thoughts.

Shit’s starting to gel for me. The cast seems like they’ve warmed up to each other by way of actor-ly chemistry. (I know scenes are never shot in order, but there was maybe a little stiffness I felt at the start of the series? At this point, it might just be Lookjun carrying that, but I also don’t think she does “drunk” as well as the others.)

Such good meta that sustained me during my packing yesterday. @ranchthoughts on an ephemerality BREAKDOWN. @respectthepetty Senpai on sluts slutting — and HOW WE AUTOMATICALLY JUDGE AND LABEL SLUTS FOR SLUTTING (more on this in a BIT — go OFF, RTP Senpai). And @slayerkitty on nailing the narrative frameworks, which really struck me this episode, and this goes back to ephemerality again. Can’t believe I’m gonna meta, but let’s boogie, ‘cause I gotta.

@ranchthoughts — Ranch, I’m probably going to repeat some of what you wrote, so please forgive my stress-addled brain. I just lost it at Khaotung this episode, I thought he was just OVERFLOWING with BEST-NESS this episode — and the way we lived with Ray in his past in this episode. It was another play on time. And I love that @slayerkitty nailed that it was the flashbacks that were doing the talking this episode — because especially for Ray, the past is doing HIS talking. His mother didn’t love him in his past. Therefore, because of his past, he is unlovable in his present. (Interrrrgenerationalllll traumaaaa — the past affects your present. The opposite of ephemerality. That shit’ll STICK with you UNTIL you decide to face it head-on, like our beloved PatPran.)

Ooooh, baby. Gosh. The combination of the use of flashbacks, with Ray living in his past, only listening to music his parents listened to. And Sand — falling for Ray! — is holding Ray’s hand and bringing him to the present and the new. Sand’s a figure of change. Ray keeps toeing BACK to the past, to his memories, to his “love” for Mew, and Sand’s like, let me hold you down. (Ray going back and forth — like relapsing.) Ray STILL flashing back to Mew, holding that pendant (THAT LOOKS AN AWFUL LIKE AN ECLIPSE SYMBOL, AMIRITE AMIRITE) — and flashes again back and forward to the record store, where Sand found Ray’s hand.

What will Ray need for Sand to do to pull Ray even closer to the real-time present? How will Sand help Ray face his trauma? Will Sand really hold Ray down?

I am a big believer in the ships sinking, but goddamnit, First and Khao ATE this episode. GAAAHHHH.

Just musing: If Jojo and team started out this series having us think on ephemerality, the general lack of accountability, and the disappearance of time — are we entering the next act of the series where the characters grapple with the impacts of their pasts? That if you’re engaged emotionally and/or sexually with others, that not being accountable for your past and present is NOT an option? (That’s a kind of frame that speaks very closely to Jojo’s devotion to messages of sexual health in his past shows — especially regarding Nat in Gay OK Bangkok, who was HIV positive.)

Also musing: I saw some posts on my dash grappling with Top and Ray using coke. Drug use is obviously common on the partying circuit — their using coke doesn’t surprise me, especially considering that Top and Ray were both shown also being familiar with pills earlier. But I will note that the entire SE Asian region prosecutes the drug trade quite harshly, so to be honest, I was surprised to see Top actually snorting (but not surprised that that would be in a Jojo show). (Some passing links: when I Googled “drug use in Thailand,” this study shows that of a sample of vocational students in Thailand, LGBTQ+ students were more likely to use three or more drugs than heterosexual students, plus more findings. And this article briefly reviews the history of drug prosecution in Thailand.)

Also musing: really loved how Top’s demeanor was SO different with Nick and Sand. Maybe this indicates how much he’s “controlling” himself around Mew (@ranchthoughts , beep beep, control). Especially when Nick was talking with Top — it seemed like Top had been approached for money like this before. And the way he was so forward with Sand, confident to tell Sand that Sand wasn’t up for keeping Boeing — that was a totally different Top than who we see with Mew.

Okay, penultimate point. @respectthepetty says: sluts gonna slut. @bengiyo says: dudes gonna dude.

Cheum calls Boston a ho. Top says Boston is nasty. Nick calls himself nasty. Nick is Boston’s “favorite.” Jojo challenges the viewer to think that Top was gonna sleep with Beam, as RTP Senpai writes. Top’s already slept with Boston while dating Mew. On and on and on.

I wrote in my review of Theory of Love that I related to Khai, and now I relate somewhat to Top by the way that some of the viewership has judged Top. I was VERY often called the slut/ho of my friend groups in my younger years. OFTEN. And this was while I was in my twenties, exploring myself, my boundaries, my sexuality, all of it.

I relate to the struggle of trying to shed labels. Ray is a “burden.” Boston is “nasty.” Mew wants the truth from Top as to if Top has been with anyone else while they were dating. Therefore — Mew is assuming that Top IS sleeping with other people.

Call these people by their labels, and they’ll start believing them. It’s just another kind of trauma, similar to intergenerational trauma.

I wrote in my Theory of Love piece that as a global society — humans don’t really believe that our fellow humans can CHANGE. We don’t accept change well. (Cancel culture rarely allows for someone to be uncancelled — right?) If someone takes on a label — we tend to believe that label, and we have a hard time believing that someone has SHED that label after time. If Ray was called a burden by his mother — what work will it take for Ray to shed that label? And same for our sexually active guys, too.

Think about how you talk about your friends to others. Think about if you use labels to talk about them. Think about how old those labels are, and if they’re accurate in the present. And. Think about how you judge others by their pasts. (“Remember when so-and-so was sleeping around?”) Think about whether or not you use the past to judge and/or justify your FEELINGS about someone.

Now, I don’t even KNOW if these guys WANT to change these paradigms. We get the SLIGHTEST hint that maybe Boston wants to do so with Nick in next week’s preview.

But. I just fucking love that Jojo is playing around with this. If someone is HIV positive — that’s a label, a stigma. If someone is a ho — that’s a label, a stigma.

These dudes are burdened by what everyone else is thinking and saying about them.

And we have Sand, on the other hand, processing his feelings with Nick. We have Nick acting like a damn BASKETCASE, but at least he admitted the wiretapping to Sand (??? lol honey but you gotta stop this now, nervous giggles, put Boston’s phone down). We didn’t see Yo in this episode, but we know Yo believes in accountability.

There’s something about the Ray-Mew-Cheum-Boston friend group that allows things to both slide and fester. We’ll get ever more clarity in the following episodes on this, but — these young folks are having ish dealing with their labels, the labels of their pasts, and what are they gonna do in their presents and futures to deal with changing themselves?

FINALLY, and then I’m done rambling. Is that supposed to be a penis, or something penis-like?!

(What’s good, Ephemerality Squad? Wish me luck with moving today! @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @clara-maybe-ontheroad @twig-tea @distant-screaming @chickenstrangers)

93 notes · View notes