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craycraybluejay · 4 months

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My therapist says the "all codependents are narcissists" (insane statement from an ex-mutual) is bullshit and also that diagnoses are made up for the sake of streamlining treatment/certain disability benefits/accomodations.

And also that pop psychology people are the most annoying people on Earth. Like when someone goes "hes such a psychoooo lol" about someone they've talked to once I think they personally should never be around other people for everyones sake. Or shouting "traumadumping"/"emotional labour" when someone is telling you how their day went. It's irritating as hell and no, saying "narcissist" about your makeup obsessed friend doesn't make you sound smart, it makes you sound like a weird and rude person.

Anyway my therapist has been in her profession longer than your famous youtube psychologist who is probably not a psychologist. Never believe anything anyone says about psychology, especially if they're armchair diagnosing someone they don't know, especially if their source is not a primary source who isn't making money on views, especially if they are making polarizing and generalizing statements about stigmatized conditions.

To reiterate: if it smells like bullshit, it probably is bullshit. If it doesn't, it's probably still bullshit and you're noseblind to it. Your hot takes are hot garbage and you need to stop pathologizing everything and agreeing with the first/most persuasive person to say something before your brain turns to mush. Also, always run reactionary-sounding ideas through at least 2 people not personally involved. Everyone needs a few impartial sets of eyes that are trustworthy and preferably have real experience in the topic at hand.

#my therapist said #my therapist #therapy #we are like that painting of the greek philosophers #pop psychology #makes me want to pop its followers into a fine reddish mist #^pop psychology users at the above statement already preparing 5 new diagnoses for me #therapy speak #ok thats all i had to say #moving on for real now from that trainwreck ex-moot after getting an extra set of eyes and brains #no more space wasted on this

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insignificantfailure · 2 months

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im so fucking useless

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tj-crochets · 6 months

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I had exactly enough purple scraps left from the starry purple quilt to make a baby quilt! Well, the quilt top isn't exactly done yet, but pretty close, just one more round of ironing and sewing left

#sewing #quilting #quilting wip #scrappy purple baby quilt #what am I going to do with this? I do not know #but it is fabric out of my scrap pile #scrap management #it's not all wild scrap patchwork and crumb quilting!#sometimes it's pretty purple baby quilts #sometimes I am...concerned by the amount of scraps of fabric and batting I generate #and by my own unwillingness to throw them away (it feels wasteful!)#so I am always happy to use the scraps for stuff #like the basket yesterday! and this quilt today!#I might spend a few more days on scrap management and finishing off quilt tops #so I can get them out of my crafting space

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zytes · 2 months

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odds n’ ends

#it’s like.. the b-sides that didn’t fit with anything else and aren’t strong enough alone to warrant me wasting space on anyone else’s dash #these were taken between Sep 23’ and Feb 24’; they’re not sorted chronologically #they’re sorted by temperature. sorta #I can start putting more time into art again soon - easing into it bc I’ve not adjusted to the changes yet #now that the move is over and I don’t have the shitty helljob that had me doing 70 hrs p/week. I made a bank in OT hours tho.#which is good! bc my job fell through on this end and I’m now trying to find new work so I don’t die :)#so my heftier-than-usual savings are keeping me afloat for the moment #ah well! cest la vie; and I’ll be okay!#my art #aesthetic #art #artwork #webcore #internetcore #abstract #artists on tumblr #photography #flash photography #weirdcore #nature photography #mountains

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snapeaddict · 8 months

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Thinking about the fact Dudley canonically went through much more character development and gained more maturity than James Potter ever did but here we are

#The tea cup #When Dumbledore talks of the 'damage' inflicted on him by his parents #I don't think you're a waste of space #Also Albus talking about damage done to a child is sooo #Like Albus.#Didn't you send Harry there. You who can read minds. And left him there. And did nothing for Severus. Bref.#Anyway. What I mean to say is the power that projection and fanon have on the overall idea of a character is as strong as the narrative #... 's input #Clearly #Don't read more into it

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niuniente · 8 months

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Random internet person: *Complaining or whining about my art, reblogs, posts or my online existence in any extend* Me: Oh no! That's really unfortunate D: Here, let me help you with that issue. Me: BLOCK

#the older I become the more block trigger happy I get #no time to waste nor any space to give for random people out there who lack boundaries #don't worry all's good!#just something that came to my mind #and what I do when needed #luckily very rarely as people have been nice! :3

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zvaigzdelasas · 6 months

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#felt like starting some discourse #correct answer is C maybe B depending on the dish btw #B is like if youve left the dish sit out for a week or smth #or like smth hardcore melted on #also most ppl answering B probably defacto lean much closer to A #A. is the wrong and most common answer #ur probably using ur dishwasher wrong #& wasting water #like thats the whole point of the dishwasher innit #use more soap (both cycles) & make sure ur water line has hot water immediately available n u should b golden #also make sure the dirty parts have plenty of space open (ie smaller loads)

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nicosraf · 2 months

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okay wait… how big are the angels then?? i always imagined them human size but are they ? not? are the archangels bigger than the other angels? are they beefier or just taller? what’s their bone density like (because they’re able to fly—or does their power of flight come from their divinity)? are they more fragile because of their bone density or are they stronger because they’re angels? i have never been so curious about angel proportions in my life

this is stated pretty directly in A&M but all the angels tall! Not excessively though

I imagine them to be about 6.5 feet (....?) so they're not huge but they tower a lot next to ancient humans in particular. Archangels are the same size as other angels, though Uriel is especially tall, I think, at maybe.... 7.4 feet? Michael is probably nearly 7 feet; Michael, though, is Very beefy so he's quite wide. (And in my last post, it's a combination of being wide and wearing bulky armor that gets him stuck)

I imagine it's mostly divinity that makes them fly, but I do think their bones and organs are sort of weird in general. In a way, less complicated; they're missing some organs that humans have. I don't think they have kidneys, for example, and I think they have a tiny liver. I think their stomachs are larger (and tougher; they can digest absolutely anything). I think their big/small intestines work differently and are also smaller. I imagine their bones are much, much, thinner but stronger because.... well, divinity.

thank you for the ask :>

#If I could draw I'd make a little anatomical diagram because I think it's fun to speculate #canonically i'll say its mostly just Magic that makes their bodies work but I really enjoy speculating about their organs because idk it's #they have a LOT more empty space inside themselves than humans do in my head #mostly becaue they don't have waste products like urine and etc #well maybe it's not empty and they have some flowers hanging out inside them #cutting open an angel so i can take out the weeds bothering him #mine #ask

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fala-alfredo-pasta · 9 months

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Hi 💥

AS HE SHOULD 😤💚

#c0rrupted-mov #danganronpa #komaeda nagito #naegi makoto #komaegi #fala replies #a e i o queue #have I mentioned how much I like the idea of Makoto looking up #to Nagito as kind of a cool and aloof senpai with a lucky talent he finds interesting?#because I really do #Especially when in DanganS Makoto makes it known that he does #think Nagito’s luck is a lot more remarkable than his own #nagito: ''im an utter waste of space and air. A sham of an Ultimate ^-^''#makoto: ''i just think ur so cool bro (⓿_⓿)❤️''

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satans-knitwear · 2 years

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I just want to feel good 😩

Treat me ~ Tip me

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northern-passage · 3 months

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You don't have to respond to this if you don't want to, I know it will start unneeded drama but I just found it soooo interesting that, since the transphobic blog lets you see their likes, most of their likes are TWC related. And it's not like that fandom is notorious for being a toxic hellspace, no sir.

to be frank it's not just twc, the IF space as a whole is pretty notorious for being toxic at this point. whether you're on tumblr or reddit or the forums, you're going to find these kinds of people lurking around.

that was why i did post that person's username because i could see them interacting with various other authors, and it's best to just block them before they send you something stupid, too.

just like any large online community there are going to be a lot of trolls trying to get attention by sending inflammatory messages or leaving cruel comments wherever they can; i've been getting that kind of stuff sent to me or left in reviews or comments for years now. and currently losers online are having a fucking field day with everything that's going on right now - racism, islamophobia, antisemitism, transphobia, even gore, i've gotten it all in my inbox over the last few months and i've seen others get even worse. these people are pathetic and not worth your time. i've gotten better at not responding to stuff like that, but it is hard to resist that instinctive anger, and that's exactly why they do it & exactly why you see it in every single fandom/online space.

all of that to say, just ignore and block them and you'll have a far better time online than if you constantly try to argue or reason with them because they don't care, their only goal is to make you miserable. even if you think you have some epic clapback, it's not worth it, you're still giving them the attention they clearly desperately want and potentially exposing others to harmful rhetoric. just block 'em, babey!

#it's also why i didn't bother actually responding to that person's message cus there was no reason to share it #just for them to get some weirdo satisfaction from it #i really try to only respond if i feel like it's something i can properly address in a meaningful way #but you can tell when asks are just meant to upset you and you should just block and delete those #and i dont care about twc but i dont think its helpful to blame one single group here #when overall the fandom space within IF and elsewhere is always kinda rancid #i cannot stress enough to just block people. i've gotten way more liberal about it over the years #there's no reason for you to have to interact with every single person just cus you're in the same space #even as an author #extracting myself from certain circles has helped me way more than trying to appease an audience that hates me #anyways it's been upsetting this past few months to see the depravity of some people that are just reveling in all of this #that's why i kinda wanted to respond to this. it's bleak out here but you'll always have the block button and the knowledge #that despite it all you aren't someone who wasted their time harassing random strangers on the internet!#ask #anonymous

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scorchedhearth · 2 years

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the green lanterns pulling up to an official heroes event of some sort dressed up like this, all thinking they’re gonna drip with style only to find out they are all several decades behind in fashion and cultural awareness

i cannot stress enough that this is not for a joke. they are all four convinced they are wearing the height of fashion and everyone will find them dashing only to have the truth slapped in their face: they are way, way behind

#it bothers some (hal) much more than others (kyle)#john and guy have just come to accept it and fully live their lifestyles #btw based the years of off their first appearance: in order 1959/60 1968 1972 and 1994 #they technically all have a different decades :3 #even though john and guy are actually quite similar late 60s/early 70s was a cultural pivot that spanned several years so #simon and jess are still in the clear because they’re only one decade behind #people just think they’re too heroically broke/busy to go on a shopping trip and update the wardrobe #unlike the four others who inspire weirdness with their try-hard retro looks #anyway pls look at this i wasted an afternoon looking up old sale catalogues #dc #four corpsmen #space sailors #oh and sorry for putting brands in there i just think kyle loves shirts with garish patterns

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whumpshaped · 4 months

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also ok im gonna just say this outright. and itll prob sound weird. but i dont want anyone to like send me smth super excitedly and then i never get around to it :( i can listen to like the occasional song request but nothing more. bc like i have to sit down and search for lyrics and sit thru the video and my brain just..... it just doesnt like that for whatever reason. i do appreciate that u guys wanna share cool songs w me and this in no way means i hated any of them. u always send me absolute BANGERS. i just.... dont listen to music and apparently my brain cant handle more than like 3 a month😭

#idk why this is #but listening to music makes me super restless and like im wasting time #and the concept of wasting time makes me more restless and anxious #im rly sorry to all the music enthusiasts who have super good picks for my ocs #im just not ur guy when it comes to music😭#unless we're physically stuck in a space together in which case i will listen to whatever u put on #bc im not picky at all #irlshaped

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pastafossa · 1 year

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how long did it take for your fanfiction to start getting some recognition? did you "advertise" it or "promote" it in any way?

i know that people say this doesn't matter, but i feel like even if you love writing the feeling that you're just talking to yourself gets pretty exhausting at some point. so i'm not talking about having thousands of readers but rather like. what's your advice to have readers at least?

- someone who hasn't even started writing their ideas yet...

LONG POST INCOMING.

First I want you (and everyone else reading who may be struggling with this) to know I'm absolutely with you and generally think 'it doesn't matter' is a horseshit answer. It's this weird thing we do in fanfic that we generally don't apply to other artforms that I've seen. If you're a painter, a playwriter, a novel writer, and you say, 'I want at least a few people to love my paintings, I want some people to come see my play, I want my novel to be published and do at least ok' we all support them, we nod, we agree, we talk about how they can do that successfully. It's considered normal to want some amount of success. But hold up fanfic instead and it becomes, 'how dare you want that praise, you're being egotistical, you should be writing only for yourself'. I'm not saying you can't do that - there are some who do - but it's definitely this bizarre switchup to say there's this single artform in which we can't want attention on our work and that there's something wrong with us if we do. That can be an absolute creativity killer depending on what kind of writer you are (hi, extrovert writer here who only gets writy writy juice from social interaction - aka comments and discussion. So I totally get it being exhausting just doing this on your own).

So let me say this categorically: you're allowed to want things. You're allowed to want kudos, comments, and hits. You're allowed to want messages and asks. You're allowed to want some readers you can talk with about your story.

You. Are. Allowed.

Ok, now that that's out of the way.

Edit: more below the cut cause I didn't realize the length of this on mobile

TRT definitely didn't get popular overnight. The first four chapters were sporadic, and then I took a hiatus due to life things for a couple years. During that time, it kept slowly ticking up bit by bit on AO3, with occasional comments. Iirc it was hovering somewhere around 700 kudos by the time I came back in Jan 2021 - and that's a awesome! It's big! But it's also a number that was gained over a few years, to put it in perspective. It absolutely took off after I came back though, and over the past 2 years both TRT's popularity and the stats of my one-shots in the fandom have grown. Part of that's just the time frame (TRT's been up about 6 years), but it's also due to a couple things that I think built up TRT's popularity.

Building a tumblr presence was huge. Ironically I didn't really intend to do it for advertising; I just wanted a place readers could ask questions or we could all freak out about Matt or I could post some drabbles or updates on the fic. But considering the fact that AO3 and tumblr are the top fic sites online, I wound up promoting my fics unintentionally just by being a friendly, happy tumblr user and fandom goer. All I did was follow the courtesy rules I knew - post stuff regularly, reblog, comment, make friends with other writers, just be friendly in your neighborhood because you love the lady with the gif flower shop on the corner or the wise old pizza maker who serves hot fandom takes all day long. I built familiarity with my writing and name by posting short fics, and by taking part in challenges and prompt lists and short requests for drabbles if I saw them, though that's something that's hard to do if you don't have time (I've got less time now, but I started this blog in the early pandemic so I had aaaaall the time in the world to write and was using it to stay sane). I tagged religiously because I LOVE tags, but that helped, too. Tumblr's search system is half broken but the half that works means people CAN find your writing even if they aren't following. Doing all this over here got me a huge boost over on AO3.

I will say that if you can have a fandom tiktok presence, there's a lot of fic reviewers, edits, and good stuff that can get your fic some readers (I've had some people do this on tiktok for TRT and it sent a surge over). I personally haven't done anything there yet, in part because while I'm on tiktok I try to keep my actual, real person accounts separate from my fic/fandom accounts and i haven't bothered to make a second account solely dedicated to the Pasta name yet.

Longfics on AO3 have the advantage in fic stats in the sense that every time you add a chapter, it gets bumped to the top of the front page and you get seen again. Eventually a lot of people will click out of curiosity. They may not, however, give you a lot of user subs or add to your other fic stats at first, whereas if you do a bunch of oneshots you're more likely to get user subs but less hits on each fic. This is a decision you'll have to make, and I know folks in both camps who built their followings using different methods on each. Either way, it helps if you're posting regularly, either in a long fic or one-shots. I call this the Stephen King method, who said he just writes a ton and throws it all at the wall, and eventually you get enough good despite the bad that you start building a following.

Learn learn learn. This is standard fic advice I always give, but it's still relevant. I think one of the reasons imo TRT has done so well is that I've spent a lot of time over the years learning how to write and edit - I read a ton of books (sometimes just to figure out HOW good authors structure their stories), I took a lot of English classes, I've taken some creative writing courses in my spare time. That two year hiatus was heavily spent doing a lot of research and practice around an original novel I want published one day. And I used ALL of that in TRT, just to see what it was like to put it all together. Be hungry for knowledge, be hungry to learn. The more you learn, the better your fic will be, and the more people that will click.

That learning also includes a looooong string of fanfics that started at a very novice level (hello 12 year old me), to fics that were ok and did moderately well but weren't anything huge. Hell, I had a tumblr account for my previous fandoms before I wandered over to Pastafossa, and while those fics did decently, I never had the huge reaction I've gotten here. But I used each and every one of those fics to learn and grow and adapt. Treat your own fics the same way. If it doesn't get hits, try to learn from it before moving on to the next idea a little wiser and a slightly better writer than before. There will always be people who start to follow you along the way.

A small one, but important: I swear to god, do not shit-talk yourself. Not in the summary, not in the tags, not in the A/Ns. I'm not talking, 'this is my first fic!' That's fine. I mean trashing your own work. Shit like, 'ha ha this sucks, it's terrible but oh well' will absolutely lower your stats, because people will believe you and will ditch your fic. On top of that, it's just mean to yourself, and as I said above, you want to be a good person in the fandom neighborhood. That means not breaking the windows of your own house.

People generally think of summaries as a side note, but a shitty summary can absolutely tank your stats. Treat it like the rest of your fic - this is the trailer before the movie, and it's a huge element of what gets people interested in the first place.

Lastly, like I said at the top, the biggest factor is time. There are people who post one fic and explode in popularity, absolutely. But far, far more little followings are built on the bones of time, of abandoned fics, of muttering and highlighting phrases in books in the middle of the night, of trying and trying and trying until we have at last have a breakthrough and then drag that breakthrough forward with us to the next fic. TRT is absolutely one part lightning in a bottle - the biggest success I've ever had anywhere with my writing, a confluence of fandom factors and world events that gave people (and me!) time to write and read. But it's also standing on the back of whole lot of fics I wrote that look like everyone else's: ones with no comments, low interaction, insults; ones where I had precisely zero idea of what I was doing, but wanted to try anyway. And the way I got through that, as a writer who needs interaction in order to create, was by building friendships in fandom so that even when a fic didn't do all that well, I still had friends I could talk to about the characters, the world, the fandom itself. I asked friends to look them over and give advice. I had friends being my cheerleaders. And if you're an extrovert like me, or just a writer who needs that to create, then those connections are vital as you build up a following.

That's a lot of what I've done. I know there are other ways to build a following, but this is generally what I've done, what I've learned to do, and it seems to have worked. Just remember that there are no bad fics - just learning opportunities. Learn something, and that fic's a success, and work as hard as you can to make those fandom connections to carry you through the process.

I absolutely hope to see your work around one day, so that I can be on of those followers!

#writing advice #fic advice #fic tips #building a following #fanfic #fic #writing tips #tbh i was shocked and still kind of am by how popular trt's become #because i have had ZERO previous experiences in my fic writing time that aligned #BUT #there are absolutely things I did in hindsight I think that helped a ton #and all of the practice and writing fic including the ones with zero interaction helped #i learned how to be a good fandom goer even when i didn't write #because i genuinely loved my little neighborhoods #and i used a lot of that when i started writing again cause why wouldn't i???#also avoid petty fandom drama you don't need to waste your energy on it #i WANT my blog to generally be a positive space cause i've got shit going on elsewhere and i don't need more #but that also means i think that people like wandering through cause they know there's a lot of happy things here #be the person in the neighborhood watering your daisies and putting out a rainbow pinwheel even when ted down the block #is feuding with susan up the block over the height of ted's fence

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