#people we simply cannot understand the intellect of beings that are on a whole different level than us mere mortals...

[forgottenbones]

Worst Logo Change Ever

#pyrocynical #it's like... what if a preschooler went to stanford? #huffing copium #corporate bullshit #people we simply cannot understand the intellect of beings that are on a whole different level than us mere mortals...

[mtsilvermute]

bachelor’s button, basil, and begonia (all the b's)!

Red's Journal - Entry 12/23/2021

I am in Pallet Town for the holiday season. Our neighbor Mr. Lawton came around my mother's home with a dish in one hand and his wife in another. I hadn't met her before. His wife gasped and said "my son is a big fan!", and I must have let my confusion show in my smile because Lawton stammered out an "he's her son, from a previous relationship: You haven't met him either!" Everyone laughed it off, and my mother invited them in for an hour of coffee and gossip and the other things you share when winter's cold becomes too much.

I sat bare-sleeved and benignly on the couch, listening to the couple reminisce about their relationship's beginnings. They met someplace in Sinnoh during a work conference (not the battle kind), then one thing led to another, and now they've been married for nine months. I wondered then—and I wonder now—just what that "one thing" is supposed to be. What kinds of connections are people forming to which they believe romance is a logical conclusion? I'm less forlorn than I am confused about the whole phenomenon. Certainly I am no stranger to longing for proximity: I spend my days reading, writing, training, battling; all in hopes of becoming one with the world around me. To me, that is a romance of a different kind, a loving gratitude for my life and all its inhabitants—most notably those of the Pokémon variety. Yet I cannot surmise the stars that would need to align for me to desire such proximity to an individual person. Perhaps it will happen in the future, but I won't count the days.

On the opposite end of this spectrum, a certain Oak wishes to see me at some point this season. Haha. I am proud of that segue but it's less accurate than I'd like it to be. I don't hate him. I merely wish he could understand me. He feels to me more like a brother and less a friend, if brothers truly are both the objects of one's admiration and one's violent fantasies. Perhaps a better way to frame our relationship would be that I wish I could want to be around him more. I wish he lived up to the image of him that I hold in my head whenever we are together. Every time that we seem to connect, our relationship ruptures from a mutual misunderstanding or communicative error, and it's back to square one. It's as if we live in entirely separate realities, and his unwillingness to recognize that I come from a different planet creates unnecessary conflict that leaves me wounded every time. And perhaps I take things too personally: After all, if he were truly toxic, my mother wouldn't invite him over still, and his Arcanine wouldn't be so tender with his touches, and I wouldn't hear such great things about his Gym. But perhaps those niceties are simply facets of the reality in which he lives—with which I am doomed to be incongruent.

I stopped writing to go converse with my mother. She was about to bake some cookies and requested I assist. Pikachu joined in on the fun, and between us three we had the energy (and ingredients) to make a week's worth. (I doubt they'll last that long: She's prone to handing them out to anyone who visits.) Towards the end of our excursion, I asked her how she felt about Blue. "He's always been a bit of a handful, hasn't he?" is my memory of her response. In particular, I asked her how she feels about his streaks of rude and misunderstanding behavior, because I'm a little apprehensive about seeing him even now. She confirmed my suspicions that I was likely being too defensive towards—and erring too heavily on the side of caution with—him. I think her assessment is generally correct, even beyond Blue: I can't help but stay guarded against others when I lack the strength to speak my mind. During most encounters, I can only hope that the other party believes in my internal capacity for intellect, or finds impressive my historical record of showing it. And Blue is the most historically willing to disrespect either one. Call my defensiveness a learned behavior, then, I suppose—but I would do well to warm up to others regardless. Even in the dead of winter, people aren't as cold as they seem to be.

#red's journal #ask prompt reply

[bunchofstraydogs]

Dazai Osamu character breakdown as I understand him

Meaning that this might be inaccurate and your opinion and visage of him might differ from mine, which is just fine. We perceive the world and the people around us through our experiences and expectations. I'm curious to know how you guys see a complex character like Dazai, just please respect everyone's opinions.

Warning: Manga plot mentions, s2 spoilers, BEAST light novel spoilers, Dazai Osamu

Dazai Osamu was introduced into the scene of Bungou Stray Dogs at 14 when Mori found him.

Even at that young age, Dazai had suicidal tendencies and had been wrapped in bandages similarly as he is in the present. Already dealing with too much trauma for a child his age, the fire is fuelled as he was forced to bear witness to the death of the Port Mafia boss at the hands of Mori, the person that took him under his wing. To use him; which was becoming very apparent to Osamu if he hadn't been aware since the start. Now, I'm not saying that death of the previous boss left a particular scar on Samu, he even agrees with it and is something he himself would have done. But that that is the scene that bore fruit of the following quotes:

"Or could it be that you're afraid, Mori-san? That one day i will slit your throat and take over as the boss?"

followed by

"Everyone seems suspicious to those who have an axe to grind."

This tells us right away that he can tell what type of person you are just from the way you perceive your surroundings, which is logical, but not something many think too deep into.

Even less who have their evaluations of others on point like he does. And he has to, since Dazai's plan is always to understand his allies, his enemies, possible allies and possible enemies. He also takes into account important neutral parties that can still, in one way or another, affect the outcome of his plans or decide to align with one side out of common interest. After comes realising the main goals, along with side achievements (just in case some of those maim his allies or ruin the future plans he made) of every party. Taking in their morals and motivation, and being familiar with the ground the confrontation will happen on, he now has the view of the whole chess board and it's pieces in his head. He moves his allies in the right places, knowing how they'll react in the situation to come, and awaits the enemies with open fire arms. He was tought to think like that. At all times. Mori made sure of it. You know how specialists never really stop thinking in their areas of expertise, like doctors, for example, will naturally notice people's posture and look for scoliosis or whatever? How your foot hits the floor, if you're walking straight, your knees and shoulders, etc. Same for Dazai. His brain maps out person's expressions, reactions, choices, personality, etc. in great detail. I'm pretty sure he has eidetic memory, if his conversations in manga with Fyodor are anything to go by.

Another thing his brain does is think of worst possible outcomes.

Not in a fear of what if things go wrong, but as a possible route. He uses it to determine how big of a threat the opposing force is and what steps they'll have to take to achieve that. Knowing that, he'll know how to intercept them. Also, like everything else, it's not something he can control since we're talking about thought process here and that's just how his brain works. Can't magically turn that off. It's especially annoying to him when he's genuinely enjoying himself with, let's say, ADA members and then his brain goes brrr.

•"A lot happened recently and we're a torn in many people's eyes." *Tanizaki and Atsushi drinking punch* "There's a possibility, while a small one, about 8% at this very moment, but as time goes on will increase, that an organisation outside of Yokohama decided we're an unavoidable threat and poisoned the drinks. Don't drink that. Nothing will happen, they'll wake up tomorrow in pristine condition don't drink th-"

Yeah, i feel bad for him too.

He has PTSD and insomnia, besides the hectic brain,

so he's not getting proper amount of rest. Actually, he drinks almost every night by himself at home. Pretty sure it's canon as well, because if you search for a picture of him in his room, you'll see him surrounded by multiple bottles. Two of the PTSD symptoms are hallucinations and night terrors (no, that is not the same as a nightmare). What people usually do is use opium to cause hallucinations in a safe environment so that there's little chance of them happening uncontrolled. He's probably using alcohol to numb himself while he's reminiscing, since if he does still have hallucinations after years having passed by (which isn't impossible), they're probably few and far between. Not saying there's no chance he isn't using opium. He would know where to get what he needs, after all.

Osamu's haunted by his own actions as well, not just by trauma caused to him.

At an uncountable amount of occasions, he found himself looking into a mirror and not really comprehending his image. It was like dissociation. Looking through a fog at what's supposed to be your carbon copy, but not knowing all of your features perfectly, so whatever you're seeing could only be an impostor, yet you're not sure because that would take comprehending physical proof of your life to the fullest and how it works and he just... can't. He can but he doesn't want to. He already knows he's despicable and broken, doesn't really feel the need to see just how much. He can't, for all his perfect memory, remember the faces of the people he has killed. He hadn't even seen all of them, but he was responsible for their demise. Causing havoc and misfortune in general through other crimes besides murder as well. We've seen his expression when he listened in on Atsushi talking to Kyouka over the earpiece how the 35 deaths don't matter anymore. He knows they do and he knows that the change of heart won't justify what he's they've done. Ango thought him to value each life. But he also knows that even murderers can change and become good. Oda did that. It's also what's keeping him in the agency.

When Oda died, his last words mentioned that Dazai doesn't care about good or bad and that was correct for Dazai Osamu back then. I genuinely think that his present self does mind the difference.

He believes in necessary evil and will do dark shit to get the good outcome he's envisioned.

He doesn't separate outlaws and lawful people, however.

He knows that generally speaking, the line is thin and easy to cross and that many were born or forced into the situations they are. Those that fight the life thrown at them are an exception, not a rule. That's also why he likes Atsushi, probably the main reason. The boy has every right to hate the world and yet. Dazai is envious, he doesn't really have the same capacity.

I want now to talk about why does Dazai Osamu do what Dazai Osamu does.

The reason he attempts suicide, joined the mafia, made friends at all, is because for all his intelligence and observations, ability to understand others, he doesn't really understand himself.

He doesn't understand his worth. He doesn't understand his purpose. In all of that confusion, he finds no reason to live. He laughs but can't get the high, he bruises but can't fully heal. In all of the things people find happiness in he can't feel joy from. He is emotionally stunted. He thinks too logically. He doesn't understand actions out of emotions because to him, it doesn't make sense. Emotions cloud your mind and when you're not thinking straight, you make mistakes. Plain and simple. He just accepts it, that most people simply cannot control themselves and prefer lashing out instead of methodical approach. All the better for him, he has leverage. Even when he does act on impulse, which is incredibly rare and not as explosive and dramatic, his brain rationalises it as to why his actions were a good way to go. And if his reaction was one that bore fruit, than it was a tactical one.

"If you place yourself somewhere close to raw emotions, where you're exposed to raw violence and death, instinct and desire, you can brush against man's true nature. I though that way i could find a reason to live somehow."

From this, i can tell that he was hoping that, in a situation where he's pushed far enough, he'd realise what's important to him, what he wants to protect or destroy, what's one thing he wouldn't want to leave unsettled before dying. What is that one thing he'd regret dying before achieving? What should he fight death for. What is worth living on for? To him, it doesn't matter if that something is good or evil as long as he gets to keep it in his life.

It seems he hadn't found it exactly, but is satisfied with what he has for now, in the agency, to just keep going. But he still tries to commit suicide, hoping that one day, when the clear picture of the world around him is fading away, when he's becoming light headed from the lack of oxygen, when he's loosing control over his body and thoughts don't seem to flow well, there will be one thing, anyone, screaming at him to fight it. New day new chances. It didn't happen today, better luck tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomo-.

Now, like Mori, Dazai feels the need to, at all times, be in control of the situation. Including people.

That means no one, but perhaps Ranpo due to his own abnormal intellect, is aware of their own role. They know their mission, but they're not expecting to be given that particular one because they'll come across an obstacle they would react to in a way that would satisfy Osamu's plans.

Dazai Osamu is more of a chemist, than a chess player, if you ask me.

Throwing different people into the mix, under different conditions at different times and is noting down their reactions in safe surrounding if possible, so that when the time calls for it, he'll be able to make a perfect concoction for the predicament. A chemist and his substances; A chess player and his pawns; A puppeteer and his puppets. Now, Dazai is meticulous and never rash, but like everyone else (except effin Lovecraft what is he even) he's only human and he bleeds when he falls down and humans aren't perfect. He isn't always right. That means he makes mistakes. The issue with big shot players that control the board is that, when they fall down, everyone on their side crashes and burns as well. So the day Dazai fucks up everyone else will follow because of lack of insight on their part that's completely out of their control. All it takes is for him to underestimate or overestimate one person and chaos ensues. There is no such thing as happy little accidents small mistakes for someone like him. I have crippling anxiety and a sole thought that one hiccup could blow up in everyone's face... damn. I would try committing suicide myself. But it's his fault, he brought upon himself an obligation and pressure like that. To be fair, it was Mori that drilled that type of thinking where no one should know what you plan because they can't ruin what they don't know If they turn against you, they can't stop you.

For his own sake, and everyone else's, Dazai needs to learn how to show his cards and share the burden.

Again, going back to the emotionally stunted guy that has commitment issues (where he either can't commit or can't let go) trope.

He never outright does something good for someone where people would acknowledge it, he uses his underhanded tactics here as well.

He casually makes himself look like a bad guy, an asshole, to conveniently move attention from the inner turmoil a person is struggling with to a present problem at hand that they can fix and let their frustrations out on. But he hopes that, one day, someone just might notice his intentions for what they are and do the unspeakable- see through him.

"I'm a very private person. You don't ask, i don't tell."

Yes, and your whole existence is just a huge cry for help. He wants to be asked. He's begging for attention. A specific type of attention. One that will see him without making him feel imposed on. One that will understand his sins without making a big deal out of it. Accept him as a person he is, makes him feel like one as well. Makes him feel alive. Makes him feel... period.

The day he finds that thing is the day he completely turns his life around and fully dedicates to it. It's where the part of not being able to let go commitment issue ensues.

Since Oda's death he's been secretly keeping an eye out on possible ways to bring him back. If you've read Beast AU you know that when Dazai gets his hands on the book, he'll create a universe where Oda doesn't die. Should he find an ability user that can bring back the dead, just tell him what it will take, he's ready to destroy his own soul for it and if that isn't enough, well, he'll have no hesitation ruining theirs. After all, BEAST!Dazai Osamu never actually met Odasaku, he just had the memories he'd gotten from his canon self and that was enough for him to do everything he did.

He's incredibly selfish and has a weird come in but the door is a wall dynamic he rolls with in his self imposed solitude.

It's like the walls of the space in my brain are ugly and terrifying, so i closed off the entrance to keep myself in. I'm doing you a favour but please break the wall down and tell me it's okay to come out i don't want to be here-

Happy little thoughts woah woah yeah~

That's what i got from what I've seen of him. I may have missed some things, some things might prove to be wrong as the series progress further, but yeah.

There is, however, one more thing i want to put out here. Since Dazai was already like this before Mori found him, that begs to question as to why? What happened to him?

Now, since the characters are based on real people, is it crazy to say that Dazai Osamu has had a horrible childhood because of his father? Real life Dazai was terrified of his dad and was very intimidated by him. He always tried to stay in his good graces out of fear of punishment. Neither of his parents felt like a parent to him, actually. His father didn't care and his mother was often ill, but did care for him when she could. Both of them died eventually.

This could be the plot Kafka based Dazai's background on, but we'll have to wait and see.

#dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #bsd #meta #dazai osamu headcanon #dazai osamu headcanons #hc #hcs #psychoanalysis

[2tired2study]

hi! i’ve recently finished the picture of dorian gray so let’s go over my favorite quotes (in order from the ones that appear in the book first to last)

if they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat

being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose i know

and as for believing things, i can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible

when our eyes met, i felt that i was growing pale. a curious sensation of terror came over me. i knew that i had come face to face with someone whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if i allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself

he, too, felt that we were destined to know each other

laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is by far the best ending for one

a man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies

i like persons better than principles, and i like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world

every day. i couldn’t be happy if i didn’t see him every day. he is absolutely necessary to me

he is all my art to me now

it is only the intellectually lost who ever argue

and the mind of a thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing

there is no such thing as a good influence, mr gray. all influence is immoral; immoral from the scientific point of view

he becomes an echo of someone else’s music

but the bravest man among us is afraid of himself

nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul

some day, when you are old and wrinkled and ugly, when thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and passion branded your lips with its hideous fires,you will feel it, you will feel it terribly

man is many things, but he is not rational

examinations, sir, are pure humbug from beginning to end. if a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him

behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic

there was something fascinating in this son of love and death

really! and where do bad americans go to when they die?... they go to america

well, the way of paradoxes is the way of truth

all i want now is to look at life. you may come and look at it with me, if you care to

punctuality is the thief of time

it is only the sacred things that are worth touching

when one is in love, one always begins by deceiving ones self, and one always ends by deceiving others

there is always something infinitely mean about other peoples tragedies

how different he was now than the shy frightened boy he had met in basil hallwards studio! his nature had developed like a flower, had borne blossoms of scarlet flame. out of its secret hiding-place had crept his soul, and desire had come to meet it on the way

it is personalities, not principles, that move the age

people are very fond of giving away what they need most themselves

he lives the poetry that he cannot write. the others write the poetry that they dare not realize

human life—that appeared to him the one thing worth investigating

to note the curious hard logic of passion, and the emotional coloured life of the intellect—to observe where they had met, and where they separated, at what point they were in unison, and at what point they were at discord—there was a delight in that! what matter was the cost? one could never pay too high a price for any sensation

with his beautiful face, and his beautiful soul, he was a thing to wonder at. it was no matter how it all ended, or was destined to end. he was like one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play, whose joys seem to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir ones sense of beauty, and whose wounds are like red roses

the senses could refine, and the intellect could degrade

all that it really demonstrated was that our future would be the same as our past, and that the sun we had done once, and with loathing, we would do many times, and with joy

it often happened that when we thought we were experimenting on others we were really experimenting on ourselves

the joy of a caged bird was in her voice

she was free in her prison of passion

i love him because he is like what love himself should be.

he was like a common gardener walking with a rose

he had the dislike of being stared at, which comes on geniuses late in life and never leaves the commonplace

to be in love is to surpass ones self

my wonderful lover, my god of graces

i wish i had, for as sure as there is a god in heaven, if he ever does you any wrong, i shall kill him

whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives

i don’t want to see dorian tied to some vile creature, who might degrade his nature and ruin his intellect

we are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices

and unselfish people are colourless. they lack individuality

you are much better than you pretend to be

of course, it is sudden—all really delightful things are

he is not like other men. he would never bring misery upon any one. his nature is too fine for that

but i am afraid i cannot claim my theory as my own. it belongs to nature, not to me

no civilized man ever regrets a pleasure, and no uncivilized man ever knows what a pleasure is

there was a gloom over him

he felt that dorian gray would never again be to him all that he had been in the past

any one you love must be marvellous

it is not good for ones morals to see bad acting

there are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating—people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing

you taught me what reality really is

you had made me understand what love really is

you are more to me than all art can ever be

there is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love

a faint echo of his love came back to him

we live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities

when we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us

i cant bear the idea of my soul being hideous

one can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing

nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner

it is only shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion

you were the most unspoiled creature in the whole world

of you wish me never to look at your picture again, i am content. i have always you to look at

from the moment i met you, your personality had the most extraordinary influence over me. i was dominated, soul, brain, and power, by you

i grew jealous of every one to whom you spoke. i wanted to have you all to myself. i was only happy when i was with you

i only knew that i had seen perfection face to face

i grew more and more absorbed in you

you are made to be worshipped

in every pleasure, cruelty has its place

but it was to teach man to concentrate himself upon the moments of life that is itself but a moment

out of the unreal shadows of the night comes back the real life that we had known. we have to resume it where we left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome round of stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it nat be, that our eyelids might open some morning upon a world that had been refashioned anew in the darkness for our pleasure, a world in which things would have fresh shapes and colours, and be changed, or have other secrets, a world in which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate, in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance of even joy having its bitterness and the memories of pleasure their pain

yet, as had been said of him before, no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance compared with life itself

he saw that there was no mood of the mind that had not its counterpart

art, like nature, has her monsters

is insincerity such a terrible thing? i think not. it is merely a method by which we can multiply our personalities

and mind you don’t talk about anything serious. nothing is serious nowadays. at least nothing should be

i am tired of myself tonight. i should like to be someone else

sin is a thing that writes itself across a mans face

you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite

that is the reason why i want you to be fine. you have not been fine

you have a wonderful influence. let it be for good, not for evil

i wonder do i know you? before i could answer that, i should have to see your soul

my god! don’t tell me that you are bad, and corrupt, and shameful

so you think it is only god who sees the soul, basil? draw that curtain back, and you will see mine

each of us has heaven and hell in him, basil

you are the one man who is able to save me

don’t speak about those days, dorian—they are dead... the dead linger sometimes

lord henry, i am not at all surprised that the world says that you are extremely wicked

life is a great disappointment

i like men who have a future and women who have a past

moderation is a fatal thing. enough is as bad as a meal. more than enough is as good as a feast

you always want to know what one has been doing. i always want to forget what i have been doing

his soul, certainly, was sick to death

he was prisoned in thought. memory, like a horrible malady, was eating his soul away

ones days were too brief to take the burden of another’s errors on ones shoulders

it is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things

to define is to limit

to be popular one must be a mediocrity

romance lives by repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art

i am searching for peace

the appeal to antiquity is fatal to us who are romanticists

sick with a wild terror of dying, and yet indifferent to life itself

horror seemed once more to lay its hand upon his heart

how terrible it was to think that conscience could raise such fearful phantoms

he had a wild adoration for you and that you were the dominant motive of his art

when you and he ceased to be great friends, he ceased to be a great artist

if a man treats life artistically, his brain is his heart

art has a soul, but that man had not

the soul is a terrible reality

to get back my youth i would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable

but a chance tone of colour in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once loved and that brings subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again, a cadence from a piece of music that you had ceased to play—i tell you, dorian, that it is on things like these that our lives depend

life has been your art

the books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world it’s own shame

the world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. the curves of your lips rewrite history

it was the living death of his own soul that troubled him

as it had killed the painter, so it would kill the painters work, and all that that meant. it would kill the past, and when that was dead, he would be free

#chaotic academia #dark academia #dark academia aesthetic #light academia #light academic aesthetic #punk academia #writers #museums #punk academia aesthetic #chaotic academia aesthetic #academia aesthetic #oscar wilde #the picture of dorian gray #quotes #my favorite quotes #list #bookworm #booksarelife #old books #classic books #book qoute #book quotes

[spencers-renaissance]

Foolishly, Completely Falling

Summary: Spencer declines to spend the night with Luke, but there's a reason for that, and things start to click into place when Spencer shows back up at his doorstep at 2am, hours after being dropped home.

Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, past toxic relationship, nightmares, est/dev relationship

Pairing: Luke x Spencer

Word count: 2.5k

Read on AO3

When Luke asks Spencer if he wants to stay the night for the first time, he isn’t as quick to agree like Luke expects. The TV is playing a game show on low volume and they’re lying comfortably together on the sofa, quietly enjoying one another’s company after a busy day. They’d had a lovely evening out at the Mexican restaurant Luke had managed to convince Spencer to try before a cuddle and far too much making out on the sofa, so he’s feeling pretty good when he whispers the question into his boyfriend’s ear. Instead of the excited agreement he expects, though -- after all, the first night in the same bed with a new partner is always exhilarating -- Spencer freezes. 

“Hey,” Luke says, tone quickly sobering up. He shifts a little to get a better look at his boyfriend’s face, worried he’d said the wrong thing. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, baby. We can just cuddle a little longer and then I’ll drive you home, yeah? Whatever you want.”

The kind voice he uses seems to slowly shake Spencer out of his frozen trance, gradually pulling himself up from the quicksand of his thoughts to respond to Luke. “No, I want to,” he explains slowly, thankful Luke is so patient when he tries to articulate complicated feelings. “There’s just… it’s because-- I don’t know how to tell you.” He sighs in defeat as he fails to tell his boyfriend how he feels, slumping down a little as he relaxes his previously stiffened muscles, collapsing into the warmth and safety of Luke’s chest. 

“You don’t have to justify it, Spencer,” Luke says earnestly, running his hands up and down Spencer’s arms gently as his face contorts with worry, a small sense of relief coming from the feeling of his boyfriend physically relaxing under his touch. He can’t help but feel a sinking pit of fear in his stomach that maybe he’s made a massive misstep, maybe Spencer isn’t as into this as he is, maybe there’s something really, really wrong.

Instead of voicing his concerns, though, he simply revels in the moment: Spencer’s head on his chest, his body flush against his own as their breathing syncs and they take in the last few moments of peace before the world switches back on and they have to part ways. 

If only he could stop his tumbling mind and enjoy it properly. 

★

Spencer seems mostly recovered from the awkward moment by the time they clamber into Luke’s car to drive him back home. He’s barely switched the engine on before Spencer is telling him about the technology of contactless keys and how they were invented, the dangers they present to society as well as the vulnerability they have to hacking before going on a tangent about a factory in Ireland that accidentally discovered a serious technological advancement. He’s chattering away happily in the passenger seat, and the tension Luke still holds in his shoulders dissipates as he listens to him ramble about things he cares about. 

It’s hard to focus on the road, really, when Spencer chooses to be so utterly adorable. He can’t keep his eyes off him when he’s passionately lecturing somebody about something everyone else finds insignificant or confusing and he finds endlessly fascinating. The team makes fun of him constantly for the way he stares at his boyfriend, and he’s not overly fond of the new nickname ‘moon eyes’ that he can’t seem to shake, but it won’t stop him from appreciating Spencer’s knowledge, making sure he knows Luke supports him no matter what. He knows that he gets shut down far too often, that people appreciate him for his intellect only when it’s valuable to him, and he’ll be damned if he ever makes him feel that way. 

He listens dutifully the whole drive back to Spencer’s apartment, managing to drive safely despite the distraction, and he can’t suppress the laugh at the surprised look colouring Spencer’s face once he sees they’ve arrived. He goes into a little bubble when he’s info-dumping, only coming out of it when there’s a significant change in his environment, but Luke can’t stop the fondness from spreading through his body as if it’s the first time he’s ever seen Spencer make that face. 

“We’re here,” Spencer observes, a slightly sheepish look spreading across his features. 

Luke absolutely cannot accept that so he leans across the console to press a deep and loving kiss to his lips, startling Spencer out of his embarrassment as he kisses back with just as much vigour. “You want me to walk you up?” Luke asks as he pulls away, bringing a hand to Spencer’s face to gently brush a few curls off his forehead.

“I’m good,” Spencer smiles, looking adoringly at Luke. If he was a more acrimonious man he’d be annoyed that everyone misses the matching looks Spencer sends his way, but there’s something special about them being just for him, like there’s a little bit of him he gets to keep just for himself. He’ll take that over Spencer getting teased even more any day. 

“Okay, baby.” He leans in to give him another kiss, quickly this time, before leaning up to peck his forehead, too. “You sleep well. If we’re not called in tomorrow I’ll swing by and we can do something together, how does that sound?”

“Perfect,” Spencer says softly. He puts his hand on top of Luke’s and caresses his knuckles gently, and for a second Luke is convinced he’s about to say something but he decides against it, settling on a soft smile before he’s clumsily climbing out of the car and walking towards the elevator into the building. 

The shy wave Spencer gives him just as the elevator doors close is enough to keep his heart warm through winter. 

★

Luke heads straight to bed as soon as he gets back home, switching off all the lights and getting ready in the bathroom before slipping between the sheets. It’s barely 11 but he’s exhausted from a busy day at work followed by the date he’d had with Spencer and he can feel the exhaustion tugging at his limbs. He’d hoped that he would be cuddled against a warm body tonight, and Spencer’s absence makes the bed feel so cold, even with Roxy warming his feet. 

Eventually, he manages to slip off to sleep, though, because he’s woken up not long after by Roxy leaping off the bed and whining at his bedroom door, startling him awake. “Roxy?” he asks, immediately on high alert. “What’s wrong, girl?” He sleepily pushes the covers off him, exposing himself to the frigid air of his apartment as he contemplates reaching for his gun when he hears it. There’s a tentative knock at the door, probably not the first, far too quiet to have woken him up if he hadn’t had Roxy. He jumps into action and pulls a t-shirt on as he walks to his front door, flicking on the lights as he goes, not wanting to trip over anything in the dark. 

It’s Spencer. He’s standing there looking nothing short of distraught as he wrings his hands nervously in front of him, that sheepish, embarrassed look Luke had been so desperate to kiss away earlier returned in full force. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, looking close to tears. “I just, I didn’t know where to go… usually I go to JJ’s but Henry and Michael are staying with Penelope tonight so she and Will could have a proper date night again and I didn’t want to interrupt but I didn’t want to be alone so I thought that maybe… maybe it would be okay if I came to see you, but I’m sorry if--”

“Hey,” Luke gently intercepts Spencer’s rambling with a careful hand on his waist and a step closer. “Why don’t you come in?”

It’s a bit of a shock to see his boyfriend on his doorstep only hours after he’d dropped him off, especially since he’s clearly in quite a state, a very different Spencer to the one who had kissed him deeply and waved him goodbye earlier in the evening, but Luke doesn’t want to do another thing until Spencer is happy again, feeling safe and comforted. He’s going to try damn hard to do that for him. 

“I’m sorry, Luke,” he apologises again, voice tight and anxious, eyes glassy as he follows him inside and hesitantly sits next to him on the sofa. “I should have asked before turning up here and I’m sure I woke you up. God, I’m such an idiot sometimes, I should just--”

“Spencer,” Luke says, voice a little louder to cut over Spencer’s panicked word vomit. “You are always welcome here. No matter what, okay? You don’t have to be afraid to come here, ever. I’m your boyfriend, I want to take care of you.”

“Really?” he asks, looking almost floored at Luke’s words.

“Really.” Luke promises, reaching over to gently wipe a spilled tear from Spencer’s cheekbone. “If I was upset, wouldn’t you feel the same way.”

Spencer’s eyes widen in understanding as he nods vigorously, causing Luke to smile fondly.

 “Now. What’s going on, baby? Did something happen?”

“Um,” Spencer hesitates, simultaneously not knowing how to properly voice his feelings and afraid of how Luke might react to them. Luckily, Luke knows how to be patient with Spencer, waiting quietly as he traces patterns on his forearm. “You know how earlier I said I did want to stay here but I couldn’t?”

Luke hums. “I do, yes.”

“Well, it’s because I was scared.”

Luke’s finger pauses for a short second in surprise before continuing its path, trying to convey his non-judgement. “What of, sweetheart?” he asks, praying that he wasn’t about to say him. 

“The last time I shared a bed with someone, he wasn’t nice to me,” Spencer confesses, looking into Luke’s eyes briefly, long enough only for Luke to pick up on the intense vulnerability swimming in his pupils. “I get… really bad nightmares. And my ex, the one I told you about, George?” He waits for Luke’s acknowledging nod before continuing. “He got… angry. I disturbed his sleep and he yelled a lot before breaking up with me.”

Luke nods slowly, finally understanding the situation. “And you were afraid that the same thing would happen with me?” he asks gently, not judging Spencer for his fear at all and hoping he can see that in his eyes. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, looking down at his twiddling fingers for a long moment before finally looking back at Luke, tears gathering in his eyes again. “I’m sorry, I should have trusted you.” 

“Oh, Spencer,” he soothes calmly, gathering him up into a hug and carding his fingers through Spencer’s curls in just the way he knows he likes. “You can’t control a fear like that. It’s a natural reaction to be afraid of repeating a previous experience, especially if that event was upsetting or traumatic.”

“I know,” he mutters miserably, face wedged close into Luke’s neck. “I’m still sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby,” he says. “Is that what made you come over tonight? You had a nightmare?” He feels Spencer nod and his heart breaks. His boyfriend has been silently suffering through these awful nightmares alone, all because some asshole had broken up with him for something he couldn’t control. “I’m sorry, Spence. Do you want to talk about it?”

Spencer shakes his head, as he pulls his face away from Luke’s neck. “I’ve tried that but it doesn’t work,” he frowns. “It just makes me relive it and the anxiety gets worse. It’s better if I just try and acknowledge them before moving past them.”

“Whatever works for you, baby,” Luke says. “Now, how about we get you changed into some pajamas again and you can come and stay with me tonight. I just want to be here for you, Spencer, comfort you if you have a nightmare, hold you even if you don’t. Nothing will happen if you do have one, alright? Except you being able to avoid travelling across town at 2am to seek some comfort, because I’ll be right next to you, cuddles at the ready.”

“You promise?” Spencer asks hopefully, finally seeming to relax a little. 

“I swear on my life,” Luke grins, before pressing a chaste kiss to Spencer’s lips and standing up. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.” 

Spencer’s wearing a soft t-shirt already but Luke demands he change into one of his own, claiming he wants him to be as comfortable as possible, but they both know he just can’t get enough of Spencer in his own clothes. It feels like an extra layer of protection Luke can wrap around him, keep him safe and warm in his clothing, protect him from anything formidable, including his own mind. “It smells of you,” he smiles approvingly as soon as it’s settled over his shoulders, too loose for his smaller frame. 

“Well, baby, you’re gonna love cuddling with me in my bed then,” Luke winks. “I’m not sure anywhere else could possibly smell more like me.” He switches off the lights in the house and calls Roxy back to bed, before slipping underneath the duvet, which is much more pleasurable this time, Spencer curled up against his side as Luke wraps a comforting arm around his waist. 

He savours Spencer’s satisfied sigh as he curls up tighter, pressing as close to Luke as possible; his clingy nature is one of the things he loves most about him. There’s nothing Spencer likes more than climbing into Luke’s lap or laying across him on the sofa, holding his hand in public or pressing himself as close as possible until Luke gets the hint and wraps an arm around his waist. He loves being held, which works out well because Luke isn’t sure he likes anything more than holding him, drinking in the comfort that comes from the closeness, the inexplicable feeling that is being Spencer Reid’s boyfriend.  

“Thank you, Luke,” Spencer whispers, voice clearly showing how drained and tired he is, but he sounds relaxed and comfortable, and that’s what matters most.

“Anytime, baby,” he whispers back, smile playing over his lips as it always seems to do when he’s around Spencer. “You sleep now. You’re safe, I’ll be here.” 

“I know.” Spencer’s whisper is even quieter this time as his breaths even out and his muscles relax slightly, and Luke has never envied his boyfriend’s eidetic memory more. If he could bottle this exact moment -- Spencer slowly falling asleep on him, trusting him enough to stay no matter what happens, the warmth and comfort of the embrace -- he’d never stop playing it over, a personal paradise just for the two of them recorded in his mind forever. 

Just having this moment, though, having this memory all for himself, will do Luke just fine. 

@gxenbev

#ralvez #luke alvez x spencer reid #luke #luke alvez #spencer #spencer reid #ralvez fic #ralvez writing #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds writing #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds hurt/comfort #criminal minds angst #my writing

[astrologysvt]

Mingyu’s Ideal Type - Natal Chart Reading

For ideal types, I’m not going to be doing specific placements of their ideal partner. Instead, I’m gonna be listing personality traits I think would mesh well with them, as well as focus on their needs and the kind of person who could meet them. what this reading cannot account for is the compromising the members would do on their end for their s/o. so just keep in mind this is only half of the whole picture!

lmfao having mingyu towards the end of this reading cycle is wild. 

i was running out of my ways to say “communication” and “intellect” thanks to all the air in the rest of svt. 

so now i’m gonna try and get through this WHOLE READING without saying those words EVER AGAIN

he’s definitely going to want a very playful relationship. 

so someone who can keep up with his energy when it peaks. 

someone who will hype him up when necessary

or at the very least, someone who wont try and cramp his style if he decides he wants to do something fun or show off. 

with an aries venus, he’s going to be drawn to those who have very warm and active energies about them. 

it also makes him a mixture of ULTRA AFFECTIONATE and suuuuper mischievous when it comes to his s/o. 

he likes to poke fun and joke around. 

so someone who wants to be smothered in love who will return the sentiment

but also someone who will receive his more playful antics while also giving him a very satisfying back-and-forth. 

i imagine he’s very good at exchanging this role where he’s the one joking around and his s/o is like 😔smh 

but then his more rational and doting virgo mars comes out and he can be the one whose like 😔while his s/o goes out and makes a fool of themselves. 

he has a very earnest and clumsy way of approaching relationships. 

aries venus’ tend to have very “childlike” and light-hearted (albeit a little unrealistic) ideas of how to impress their s/o. 

he wants to come across cool, wants to show off and show up for his s/o where there is this whole dynamic of “look at what i can do!!” and “i can handle it no problem” 

and it’s all with the hope that he can look skilled, competent, and honestly just hot. 

but then you have these earth influences through taurus and virgo in his mercury and mars respectively, and this sentiment also comes from a much more grounded and modest place. 

so you can really trust he’d still do those things even if he didn’t receive the fanfare (although he does truly appreciate it)

as i said, virgo placements are naturally very doting and earth in general strongly values physical/concrete representations of commitment/presence in relationships. 

virgo is the influence of lifestyle, domesticity, and healing. 

and so he wants someone who will let him take care of them, who is receptive and appreciative of these efforts. 

he wouldn’t really vibe well with someone who was overly independent to the point they resisted said help. 

it also adds an appreciation for the routine, and so he’s looking for someone who can integrate themselves into his life in ways that maintain structure and order. 

it also makes him love the mundane things! 

like cooking dinner together, doing chores together, shopping together, or honestly just sitting around maybe reading or watching tv. 

mingyu is super interesting tho because he has two sides to him.

he is a very passionate, straight-forward, and magnanimous person but he also has a chart that’s simultaneously very sensitive, reserved, and potentially retreated. 

his initial energy is pretty unrelenting with an aries sun at the helm of his chart. 

his chart really spares no expense when it comes to life and love. 

to put it in perspective, you have cap influences which spare no expense in the sense of being resourceful and hating waste or anything ancillary. 

and then you have aries influences that see no need to be reserved or stingy in any sense.  

nothing is put to waste and THEN SOME with aries placements. 

and this is certainly true with mingyu, and so having someone who leans into that passion, enthusiasm, and generousity would be great for him. 

someone who would find his clumsy, innocent, and potentially blunt approach to romance endearing. 

this also makes him a very affectionate, open, and attached person. 

i imagine once he has feelings for someone, it probably takes milliseconds before he starts flirting and joking around with them. 

he truly does not waste time on that front

(although he also has these placements that make him one of the most adorable, flustered, and smitten guys when he has a crush). 

he really likes that feeling of “conquest” when it comes to wooing someone

and so he may like someone who isn’t as assertive who he can approach first (although he will not have patience for someone who plays hard to get). 

and then obviously that aries brings a sense of energy to relationships.

but what’s interesting with mingyu is that i wouldn’t necessarily say he needs a super exciting and adventurous relationship because of that. 

with a pisces moon, taurus mercury, and virgo mars -- he’s actually a pretty calm and leisurely guy himself. 

he may want to do a bunch of different things with his s/o, and so someone who is open for adventure and new experiences would be great.

but as i said before, with a virgo mars that puts an emphasis towards domesticity, i imagine he’d be pretty satisfied with a more mellow and realistic relationship once it settles past the honeymoon phase. 

so that sense of excitement may speak to what peaks his interest romantically as well as his initial approach, but longterm he’s looking for something much more predictable and reasonable. 

aries placements can also be pretty protective. 

once he’s bonded with someone, he’s going to have a very “they’re mine” attitude. 

he wants their attention, he wants to be the first on their list, and dislikes competition or anything that can give him insecurity in this sense 

(although his chart makes him very kind-hearted, forgiving, and gentler than someone with a more “pure” aries energy). 

he wants to be the best in every single category in their eyes which isn’t particularly the most realistic mindset. 

so it’d be great if his s/o would play along, do what they can to make him feel good, and will put him on this pedestal to a degree

but also someone who can be realistic, sweet, and caring when they have to kinda of let him down or assert their own boundaries/preferences

like “i love you babe but this is ridiculous” 

cuz he also doesn’t really like getting scolded or told what to do, but is very receptive and accommodating to others so long as the approach is clear yet gentle and very non-chastising.

and this just stems from his desire to do good by his partner. 

even if he doesn’t succeed in his attempts or it comes across weird, he really just wanted to do something nice for his s/o, wanted to protect them, and wanted them to be proud of him. 

so having that acknowledged at the core of it is very important. 

if his partner is overly critical and doesn’t take into account his positive intention, he’s going to feel frustrated and neglected 

and this is because he DOES have this super clumsy aries inflence. 

he can be rather impulsive, or at the very least not overly concerned with the vast implications of his actions, and so he isn’t wholly paying attention to every single thing he’s doing. 

and so someone who is more knit-picky and more detail focused when trying to interpret actions wouldn’t be compatible with him. 

i feel especially with a fire sun and water moon, he may struggle with his actions not fully lining up with his intentions. 

and so that dynamic would get very discouraging over time. 

i see this all the time with jeonghan, that infamous sister sign combo. 

jeonghan is much more nuanced in how he interprets actions. 

where as mingyu is much more literal, plain, and straight-forward himself. 

lol like during their breakfast vlive in nyc. 

mingyu was like “i’m a good roommate” 

and jeonghan was like “uhhh?? i’m a good roommate too????? excuse you???” 

and mingyu was like “i know???”

like he didn’t mean to imply jeonghan wasn’t a good roommate but it came across that way to someone like jeonghan who is very mindful of implications. 

lol that may not be the best example, but it’s good that whoever mingyu is dating understand there really isn’t any hidden meaning or hidden agenda with him. 

or if there is, he’s incredibly bad at hiding it.

what you see is what you get, and over interpretation runs the risk of causing unnecessary conflict. 

but then we get into the other side of his interesting dichotomy. 

while he is this very dedicated, loving, and attached person thanks to his aries influences. 

he also has a lot in his chart that indicates he needs a great deal of freedom and space. 

his aries influences assert their independence and autonomy without thinking twice, and being restrained in that regard may frustrate him if he has to start second guessing everything he does. 

although those pisces/virgo placements do make him very considerate in comparison, so it’s more so ensuring that he isn’t being restrained in ways he feels needless or petty. 

then his pisces moon strongly indicates that he’s the type to need space to process emotions and life in general. 

pisces moons are very reactive, empathetic people and can often times get overwhelmed if they aren’t given room to breath. 

he takes in everything and absorbs all of the energies given to him, and then his aries influences come in and insist he needs to be a part of the action at all times

so there is a strong potential to kind of wear himself out if he isn’t careful. 

so while he is very go, go, go with that aries 

he’s going to need to retreat every now and again thanks to that pisces moon. 

so someone who is understanding of that who can give him that room to breath, who wont question it, and can simply let him be. 

it’d also be great if they can read him well, as once he’s at that point he may not be the most verbal in his discomfort. 

he may honestly just leave once hes had enough and decides he needs to turn off the noise. 

but with that pisces moon in general, this does make him a very emotionally intelligent person although he may not fully understand it himself.

rather than verbally, he’s going to bond with someone through emotional closeness and understanding. 

and so he’d like someone who is receptive to that, who doesn’t put as much emphasis on verbal connection who’d return the favor of keeping themselves sensitive and empathetic to him. 

otherwise the relationship may feel superficial to him if everything needs to be explicitly stated or asked for, which is reinforced by the lack of air in his chart. 

he doesn’t always want to talk things out, he sometimes just wants to leave them be and sit in it. 

and someone who picks and prods to the point of excess in that sense would really frustrate him. 

SO IN GENERAL. 

a sense of humor and excitement is key with him. 

he wants a relationship filled with laughter. 

he doesn’t want a relationship that weighs too heavily to him. 

there should be an equal attempt on both parts to keep things light, supportive, and unrestrictive. 

there should also be this sense of amplification. 

he wants to be encouraged and uplifted.

that aries can make him so energetic and antsy, and so having a receptive and equally playful partner to release that energy with is something he really likes.

but beyond that, i think he has a very realistic idea of the type of relationship he wants ultimately. 

he wants a very supportive s/o. 

someone who makes him feel good about himself and boosts his confidence when necessary. 

but more realistically, he wants someone he can build a life with and offer that support to in more concrete ways. 

he’s so affectionate, so loving, and so generous. 

he really wants someone he can dote on, take care of, and who will offer the same courtesy to him. 

and honestly just someone who is going to accept and appreciate everything in excess he wants to give

may it be affection, empathy, forgiveness, understanding, support, service and all that cute adorable mingyu stuff. 

#seventeen #svt #mingyu #kim mingyu #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios

[normal-horoscopes]

THE 300TH PATRON JOINS

WELCOME @errant-harpy​ ITS ZENITH KNOT TIME LETS DO THIS YOUR CARDS ARE:

THE WAXING CRESCENT THE SEVENTH OF SPRING THE AUTUMN QUEEN THE WINTER KNIGHT III THE SUMMER QUEEN THE WINTER KNIGHT I THE FROZEN KING THE SEVENTH OF WINTER THE SORCERESS THE FIFTH OF WINTER THE FIFTH OF SPRING THE LIBRARIAN THE SINNER

THE WHEEL OF THE SOUL: The Waxing Crescent, The Seventh of Spring, The Summer Queen, The Winter Knight I, The Frozen King, The Winter Knight III THE HUB OF THE SOUL: The Autumn Queen

You might be a clever person, but nobody would ever accuse you of being subtle. You are not a person who has ever had the luxury of being subtle. You understand that life is not a subtle thing, its the sort of thing that decks you in the face, waits for you to get up, then decks you in the face again. You’ve always had a bit of a one-track mind. Its made you resilient, but also the sort of person to accept difficulty far past the point where most people would, to get stuck in bad habits. The wheel of your soul is dominated by winter, the season of change. Its not that you have a thick skin, the world has simply trained you to be very good at going with the flow, at accepting what you must.

At your core, you have always been a grounded person. Flights of fantasy are all well and good, but you know where you stand. It helps you appreciate the small things, the soft things. Its harder to be all doom and gloom when your surroundings are cute. Outwards in.

THE WHEEL OF THE BODY: The Autumn Queen, The Summer Queen, The Seventh of Winter, The Sorceress, The Fifth of Winter, The Frozen King. THE HUB OF THE BODY: The Winter Knight I.

Even now you are realizing the habits ingrained by a lifetime of simply just trying to dodge and weave, all the traps you can fall into when the world just won’t give you a second to think. Sometimes collecting the energy you need to focus yourself feels like moving a mountain, because you honestly are. When you get going its hard to stop you, which is a huge advantage in some situations but can be a disadvantage if you’re not aimed in the right direction. Remember to give yourself space as you redirect the beast of your personality. This is not an easy task, but it is one you are up to. The more sure we are of ourselves, the harder change becomes, and the more admirable it becomes.

You’ve shown time and time again that you work best when you don’t have to think too hard about ancillary shit. Try not to sweat the small stuff. Leverage that drive and make small corrections when they come up.

THE WHEEL OF THE MIND: The Winter Knight, The Seventh of Winter, The Fifth of Spring, The Librarian, The Sinner, The Fifth of Winter. THE HUB OF THE MIND: The Sorcerer.

Interesting that you’ve drawn both the Librarian and the Sorceress for the Wheel of the Mind, as both cards are associated with knowledge and intellect.

It seems you’ve got some study in your future. Maybe that made you cringe a bit, but it will be different this time. It will be the sort of study you cannot help but fall into, something that just clicks with your brain in just the right way. I cannot stress this enough: throw yourself in. It is so rare that the world gives people a chance for properly constructive obsessions and this may just be the chance.

Understand that it will be less about what you do with the new knowledge and more with the experience of gaining it. It seems that so much of your life has been defined by simple solutions to problems, by simply bashing your head into something until it gives up, but this may be the sort of ace in the hole you never thought you could have.

On the whole, you are dominated by winter, with a touch of spring. Change with a touch of growth. Remember that loss is an opportunity to replace what is gone with something better, something softer. Mourn what passes, but honor its memory by replacing it with something kind and beautiful.

#A NEW SOUL JOINS #NORMAL TAROT #ZENITH KNOT #THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 300 DONORS #THE CURRENT QUEUE IS LITERALLY STILL 50 DONORS LONG IM DOING THESE AS FAST AS I CAN #I LITERALLY CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH

[tsukihoshino]

Super long Sasori post

I’m going to begin this by saying everyone is entitled to their view on Sasori and how to characterize him within the parameters set up by canon or whatever AU/Bent Timeline a person has inserted him into but I do believe there are certain things about him that remain the same no matter what situation you put him in-- otherwise he’s just no longer Sasori (IMO.) So much of his character is about hyper analyzing his words and actions, and what others have said about him through a microscope because the fact of the matter is for such an interesting character he really had such little time.

I was originally not going to bring shipping into this but as I was writing Sasosaku kinda slipped in there, mostly because it felt like it provided a good contrast to what we get of Sasori in canon and how it can translate into fanon.

(All of these opinions are based on the Manga and the Akatsuki formation because OP cannot be assed with novels and filler for the most part...Making an exception for Komushi.)

1. He’s highly manipulative. He’s a puppet master and he has a spy ring. He gathers information so he can use it against people, he manipulates the corpses of what used to be people--or things that LOOK, very often like people. That says a lot about who he is as a person.

And when you first see his real face, when he reveals himself to Chiyo this is the face you get; 

I don’t get the impression that he’s actually happy to see her given the events that follow, its largely about trying to put his grandmother off center and BOTHER her. Sasori is perfectly capable of acting to get to a desired result--which makes a lot of sense to me because while Bunraku is largely about the Narrator's words there is also the performance element to it via the puppets.

2. He’s all about control. Control of himself, of others, of events. It's really an offshoot of manipulation but I don’t think Sasori blinks without putting thought into the action. ( I mean technically, lmao given his unique anatomy in canon that might be 100% accurate.)

3. He’s not only an artist. The guy is the very definition of being a mad scientist. He sits at a place where Art and Science meet and become something more. It's not one or the other when it comes to Sasori, there is something almost Frankenstein like in the way that he creates his human puppets, the 3rd and himself. Think about the knowledge that had to go into that from basic human anatomy to the chakra system as a whole. I mean we never get a play by play on HOW he did it but we know he’s the only one who ever did and then repeated a similar, much more complicated process on himself.

Then there is his poison, we know he’s primarily relied on the infamous one because it was sooo effective (until it wasn’t, thanks Sakura.) But we have to assume given how he is Sasori makes ART out of deadly concoctions and methods of murder.

To him synthesizing that poison was probably no different than an artist trying to get that perfect shade of red.

The weird thing about Sasori ( and I guess it's just ONE of the many weird things) Is that for an Artist he is very...clinical. When we think about people in the arts we often imagine passionate people like Deidara--bombastic and flamboyant free spirits. 

4. Logical and likely to the extreme.

He’s not a sore loser. When he loses and it's fair he accepts it. He's not bitter about the end of his fight with Sakura and Chiyo, he’s not pissy with Konan--he respects it because to Sasori the weak die and the strong survive, losers don’t have a right to complain when they shoulda got gud to begin with.

I don’t doubt that in Sasori’s logical mind he came to the conclusion that his parents died because they were weak. Ergo unlike Chiyo he’s just completely unaffected by seeing Kakashi, the world just followed its natural order in the death of his parents.

He’s got a reptile brain and he just sort of views people as animals because it's probably simpler--except for himself. He thinks he’s above that, to himself he is a god.

The thing with Komushi...I perceive it as largely an accident but in Sasori’s “perfectly” logical mind he was just like well: it’s sort of Komushi’s own fault and never let a tragedy go to waste because again, hyper logical. Not only that but he was BEGGED to do something for Komushi and there really was nothing to be done for him at that point other than make something useful out of his death.

The problem with being TOO logical is that it is just as detrimental as being too emotional. If we all just went around doing what was logical we’d be no different than animals or machines. Logic dictates we do whatever it takes to survive and come out on top even at the expense of others but because we are balanced by emotion most people don’t live like that.

On the flipside because he’s logical he can be convinced by compelling arguments without ego getting in the way. In this same vein he finds it very difficult to feel sorry about things he’s done in the past but when able to recognize it was wrong he can accept it and simply resolve not to do it in the future--he doesn’t have the capacity to agonize over feelings of guilt.

5. He hates being lied to and he’s impatient. Sasori will lie to everyone around him and even to himself if he can manage it but if he finds out He’s the one being lied to? Intense hate. See points 1&2.

6. He’s blunt and often rude when acting as his natural self. I don’t find the need to explain this one much.

7. Sasori is largely self-focused. He thinks he has a perfect handle on himself and understands exactly why he is the way he is--but it couldn’t be further from the truth. He really doesn’t understand his own feelings much less those of others and what he does understand he often doesn’t care about. This can be changed if a person is able to get through to him.

This is the guy who thought that by removing his concious from a human body and sticking it into what's basically a decorative vase all his problems would MAGICALLY vanish. Because as smart as he is, he was also desperate to escape his own feelings not realizing that when you pour the water in one glass into another glass the contents remain the same.

No matter how hard he tries he cannot escape the problem plaguing him; himself.

8. Sasori does not value life, not his own and certainly not others. Unless you are like that ONE person who is able to get through to him. He has what I would call a “Very narrow heart.”  which simply does not have a lot of space for people. To him it's probably Sasori and “That Person” VS the world.

9. He likes things that last, sculptures and paintings, classical music and literature, things that have been around for ages and withstood the trials of time.

10. He does not do well on his own. He thinks he does but he really doesn’t, when he is by himself he is destructive. When he feels alone he is at his most dangerous. Sasori is very much a person who NEEDS someone to essentially be his emotional center otherwise we get him turning himself into a puppet in what amounted to a one longass theatrical suicide.

11. Sasori was probably always a little...different even as a kid but environment and events certainly played a role. His parents died at an early age and he was essentially lied to and given false hope. (hence the impatience and hatred of lies.) Throw into that an intellect seldom seen in a time of war where child soldiers are the norm. He killed his first person at 8, he earned himself a title denoting that he was so good at killing he soaked the sands in blood. Imagine what that's like at 8, getting a pat on the head everytime you kill someone?

Of course you would become conditioned to believe that killing is right and good when you’re being congratulated and rewarded for being proficient at it.

Its assumption on my part but I do believe Sasori lays somewhere on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.

12. He’s vain AF. Look at him. He made sure to replicate himself in his prime to perfect detail in the places that were most visible, his face and his hands. He could have made himself look like anything but in the end he still chose that form.

13. When he wants something he makes a plan and gets it done. Doesn’t matter how long or what he has to do to get to point A to point B he’s going to do it.

14. He has three main expressions; blank, smug and insane.

15: His power levels are again, insane. He is a master of multiple trades. The guy ganked a Kage at 15 the strongest one Sand ever had by that point, ( Orochimaru was waay older and came out way more damaged as far as we know when he fought Sarutobi.) toppled a nation, made himself a new body with mysterious methods.

It's time for the Sasosaku bit:

Part of the reason why I think the two of them fit so well together is that they are opposites and yet complimentary. Sakura is an antidote and Sasori is the poison, but sometimes a medicine can become a poison and a poison can be used as medicine. Sakura is a close range combatant and Sasori is long but they have this odd intersection of skill sets and interest. They both deal in the human body and the manipulation of it, Sakura’s focus is to maintain it as it is and improve its condition if needed and Sasori’s is to both destroy and create it anew all at once.

If they weren’t trying to kill one another in canon they would have had tons to talk about.

Ultimately Sakura gets gut stabbed not because he was aiming for her but because she got LITERALLY in the way of a family feud. He was going for Chiyo and you can assume that's because he thought his grandma was the bigger threat or because he was still bitter about the past on some subconscious level and was gunning for her--i mean he goes in for Chiyo a second time after he disconnects from the arm Sakura was death gripping. But Sakura’s selfless action is something that viscerally shocks him: 

And it only gets worse when Chiyo starts feeding her life force into Sakura--a second selfless act on the part of someone he hates and feels wronged by.

Sakura values life and Sasori doesn’t because he doesn’t understand it. He was raised his whole life to think that people like them--Shinobi had no value other than to kill or to be killed. He’s visibly shocked when she starts yelling after socking him in the face about Human lives and family bonds. Like no one had ever mentioned that to him before and forget about risking your life to save someone else's, that goes against his logical lizard brain.

At that point he’s already beaten, he’s already impressed with her. It’s right after her punching him that Sasori gives what amounts to an odd marriage proposal IMO. It was completely pointless of him to even bring it up but you can tell by the “Glint” in his eye that he meant it.

Sasori: Want to become like me? You’ll get what I mean. An undecaying body, Unfettered by a mortal lifespan, capable of being rebuilt over and over again. ( if you were immortal would you offer immortality to someone you had no interest in? Not me. I wouldn’t want to have them around for virtually “forever” in any shape or form. And Sasori is not talking about making Sakura into just some controllable puppet, he’s talking about being JUST like him, sentient thought and movement.)

Sasori: I can make as many people as I want out of puppets….-Looks dead at Sakura- If I want them...but my collection isn’t just about quantity. Quality is important too.

That whole conversation is like A CREEPY FLIRTATION from him because we know what he considers “True beauty” to be. Eternal.

And then it comes to a head where he gives her a “sentimental reward” in the information she wanted. Now I’m not saying Sakura was interested or anything but it seems like he was in some shape or form.

In my opinion when you put someone like Sakura--who is brilliant and logical but also heavily swayed by her emotions with someone like Sasori, brilliant, logical and emotionally repressed. A person who values life with someone who neither values their own life or others what you get is agitation.

Agitation is not a bad thing, it breaks stagnation--which is what, imo drives Sasori to his death. It is the lack of change, he’s made it so he cannot feel physically and he has tried his hardest and for the most part succeeded in numbing his inner feelings.

Part of me is convinced that what ultimately kills him is complacency. He gets so used to being at the top that when he is confronted with someone who neutralizes his life’s work and destroys his collection and keeps confronting and beating him with all the qualities he deems useless and pointless it just drives home the point that everything he has ever done or thought was in vain and on some level wrong. There is no point in winning against them because everything is already destroyed. There is no going back to what he was before, therefore death is preferable.

Through Sakura, in Au’s or alt timelines, or w/e she is able to reach him through their similarities but change him due to the fundamental differences in their nature. 

As to what Sakura gets from Sasori; Someone who clearly respects her skills and understands her interests because his own align--and therefore would be supportive and present. The two of them actually have things in common and therefore shit to talk about.

 In that same vein Sasori seems like the type of person who if he were to fall in love it is to the point of obsession, for someone who was repressed and held themselves apart from others I see him in a lot of ways as almost touch, and certainly affection starved. It becomes addictive to him. (Which is probably why when I write him he’s handsy.) 

We know how Sakura likes to take care of people--we see it with Naruto, Sasuke and Sai. In some of these cases it is often to the detriment of her own well being and Sasori, the selfish person that he is, can reign that in and pull it back so that it isn’t so all consuming. (mostly because the only person she should be worried about is herself and him.)

In the end, If Sasori is the logic and Sakura is the emotion, what you end up with is something more balanced. In the same way that if you were to mix a Poison with an Antidote you would end up with a neutralization.

These are just my personal opinions and thoughts on the matter.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I headcanon that Sasori is basically Sakura-sexual so -cough- there. I guess that's a topic for another time...

Look at all these conceited Sasori faces: 

#Sasori #Sasosaku #Its long

[angerissue]

Anonymous asked… What is your take on Bruce Banner's love interest? Whether we’re mutuals or not, feel free to ask me about Bruce!

Oh, this is a good question, and something I haven’t discussed in months. Thanks for asking it!

This version of Bruce is hopelessly in love with Betty Ross. He’ll always love her, even if they’re miles apart, and both of them have moved on and dismissed the hopes of seeing each other again. Even if Bruce were to meet someone else, his feelings for her would remain in perpetuity.

I’ve written some headcanons with someone (she's no longer on tumblr, sadly) where Bruce and Betty met in a library during their university years, and the whole dynamic was very much a friends-to-romance one. Their earlier interactions were essentially the "study buddies" kind, and I imagine it was the combination of their shared work and interests, and the comfortability in talking about that stuff, that snowballed into other conversations and ultimately, a romantic relationship. And it continued up until Bruce's accident.

This pairing has always been very special to me because, unlike the others, Betty was the first person to see a far more vulnerable side of Bruce. Bruce has always been an extremely closed-off and reticent person; he hates revealing too much about himself because he feels this information could be abused somehow; that somebody would take issue with what he was telling them, just like how Brian would react vehemently whenever he watched educational children’s television shows, or played with certain toys. Betty was the first person that Bruce felt comfortable enough to open up to, in multiple manners. Not only would he discuss Brian with her (granted, sometimes he didn’t say much, but even dropping a few tiny mentions of Brian was huge for him), but he also felt like he could simply be himself around her. He didn’t need to keep his guard up around Betty like he did around other people. He was still sky, awkward, and nerdy around Betty, but he could voice his opinions more confidently in her presence. And the adaptation I've been writing with; she’s a slightly more modern version of the character — soft and gentle, but she has a temper of her own and a tangible boldness in certain situations, and it can be a subtle juxtaposition to Bruce’s own personality at times. It’s quite lovely.  

There are other aspects of the relationship, here and there, that I also love. In "The Incredible Hulk" (2008), Betty could swear that she saw some aspect of Bruce in the Hulk, and Bruce refused to accept such a possibility at first, because he believed the Hulk was a sentient and autonomous being — a belief that had grown over the years, predominantly because of his immense guilt and an unconscious desire to reduce his sense of culpability. If the Hulk somehow wasn’t him, its destructive actions were no longer entirely his fault. But after the Chitauri invasion, at which point he was able to remember his actions as the Hulk, and self-assess his behaviour in that state, Bruce realized she was correct about everything. If it wasn’t for Betty and the statement she made, he may not have fully accepted the Hulk as a part of himself — as himself, and he would’ve been stuck in denial for years. Lots of his development can be attributed to Betty, even if they aren’t in touch anymore.

Not only this, but Bruce met Betty during a time where he hadn’t experienced all his hardships with Ross. He was nowhere near as world-weary, and while he didn’t trust people much back then, either, it was better than his tendencies nowadays. In that sense, Betty is one of his last few connections to the past, and a time when he was more hopeful and innocent.

But while Bruce can control his condition now, he hasn’t reconnected with Betty. She's been in the dark ever since the Harlem incident, save for glimpses of him on the news here and there.

Bruce does want to see Betty again. He would love to see her. But he’s made some personal discoveries related to his condition that convinced him he’s not a good fit for her, or anyone in general. He doesn’t see himself as completely human anymore, which has become even more of a tangible sentiment ever since his transformations became a typical and even daily occurrence. As a result, there are some philosophical quandaries that prevent him from resuming a romantic relationship with her, or with anyone else. Given his current development trajectory, he would be the Hulk almost constantly in later verses. It’s not an ideal scenario to create a potential relationship from — especially with Betty, because he’s unable to meet some of her needs when he's the Hulk. Additionally, he cannot guarantee Betty’s safety with Ross still around, because he doesn’t know if Ross is still looking for a way to capture him. He suspects there were times in the past when Ross backed off temporarily, like after the Chitauri invasion, because capturing the Hulk at that time would have caused a huge public outcry, but nowadays, he’s unsure where Ross’ intentions lie. He's unwilling to take the risk.

All this being said, Bruce doesn’t expect Betty to remain loyal to him, or vice versa, because he understands the necessity of moving on and not dwelling on the past. It would be melancholic if Bruce discovered that Betty had met someone new, yes (this was certainly the case with Leonard Samson), but ultimately, he would be happy for her, and he’d tell himself that his own feelings don’t matter if it means she’s content and safe. Of course, there is always the possibility that Banner could reach out with letters, or another kind of communication channel. And it's possible that if Ross was gone and the world was more settled, he would meet her in-person, even if he didn't intend to restart a romantic relationship. At that point, there’s nothing stopping them from sharing their work and collaborating professionally, too. This kind of interaction could eventually become the norm. But I don’t really see their relationship shifting to a romantic one again.

So I suppose in the end, I don’t see their relationship as having a cliché happy ending, in the sense that they end up together, are happily married, and are living in their own little cottage somewhere. I see it as a mature progression from young love, to a failed effort to make things work in a terrible situation, and then an acceptance of knowing, while their situation has improved, it’s still not going to work out. And they both have the courage to run with things and make the best of it. Betty would be understanding of Bruce’s situation, as she’s always been, and in concurrence, Bruce would be happy as well, because he knows Betty can have a romantic relationship with someone who completely presents as human. They can still work together too, which is a callback to how their relationship first began in the library. And it continues to build on all the trust and confidence they initially showed each other, and continued to show each other, over the years.

So it’s very bittersweet.

I’m also going to mention the pairing of Bruce and Natasha, because I need to assert that I do enjoy this ship! As a matter of fact, it’s something I’ve enjoyed for years and years. I was one of the wierdos who was shipping them soon after the release of The Avengers, earlier than most to the point where the tag was completely blank. I guess for me, there was something unique about their dynamic in The Avengers that stood out from Bruce’s other interactions. Natasha was ordered to approach the doctor in Kolkata, and at that point, she had seen the Hulk's capabilities in-person during her involvement in the Culver University incident. Her distrust of Bruce and his alter ego was justified, especially given her personal experiences with everything, and while it may (or may not) have lessened over the course of the film, Natasha clearly came to respect Bruce at the very least, and she understood the benefits of not only putting his intellect to good use, but the Hulk itself. During the final battle, Bruce had come on his own volition and was fully prepared to transform, but she still made the active effort to tell him the Hulk was valuable. Given her past experiences with the Hulk, this meant a lot coming from her. And it's clear this wasn't just a "tactical" choice on her part; if she didn't say anything, the outcome wouldn't have been any different. This was a nice way to end the film and create a foundation for their future development between them. If their relationship continued to open up, I could certainly see them developing feelings for each other.

But the next film... Eugh. I was gravely disappointed by the sudden schoolgirl-crush syndrome that Natasha was demonstrating, which was unrealistic in itself (I'll explain my reasoning in a bit), and the total handwaving of everything that led up to it, which ultimately did nothing but break Natasha’s character and make it difficult for most of the audience to accept what was happening. Because... What initially made Natasha go from having a reluctant admiration for him, to downright falling for him? We did not see the process, or the catalysts. They had jumped from Point A to Point Y, and we saw nothing of the points in between. So the whole thing immediately fell apart for me.

A common argument I see in defense of Natasha’s behaviour is, simply put, she’s in love, so it’s natural for her to act a little kooky. However, love doesn’t have the effect of completely negating deeply-ingrained character aspects, especially fundamental traits. And Natasha has many traits that are the complete antithesis of how she was behaving in that movie. It’s the same as seeing Christopher Nolan's Bruce Wayne, a normally close-mouthed and subtle character, gushing, nudging up to, and grinning like a little boy around Rachel Dawes. It doesn’t make sense... So why is it suddenly acceptable for Natasha?

In that sense, I could also presume that Natasha’s behaviour was Joss Whedon’s misogynistic projection of how he, himself, believes a woman in love should behave. There’s a real possibility, given how Natasha was characterized in earlier MCU films, versus how she was acting in this movie, that Whedon threw out her characterization in favour of playing out a fantasy; a stereotype. And unluckily for him, that stereotype (as the word itself implies) does not fit all people or characters. So it was noticeable, and not in a good way.

And honestly... I’m disappointed that this disaster has caused so many people to discount the ship as a whole, even though that film was simply one poor adaptation of it. People also tend to dismiss the pairing because they believe Bruce and Natasha are too different. But they both have trust issues. They both have experiences where they’ve been used for other peoples’ goals. Natasha has seen a very vulnerable and intimate side of Bruce that most people never have (that look he gave her before he transformed on the helicarrier, honestly, was completely unlike the self-composure he obsessively tried to convey in all their prior interactions)... And frankly, I'm sick of hearing about the “age gap” between them, because my aunt and uncle were twelve years apart, and they were happily married for decades. Not to mention, Bruce and Natasha have been through countless hardships, and they probably have a lot more common ground than many people with an “age gap”.

So if things were properly written? That would have been phenomenal, I think. The potential was certainly there in the first movie; it’s just a shame those foundations were ignored and not directly built on.

But that’s enough salt from me!

As for this Bruce in particular... I can see him having a relationship with Natasha in the earlier part of his timeline, before the Sokovia incident occurred. There would've been a lot of opportunities for their relationship to develop, especially because Bruce wasn't just working with the Avengers; he joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and was working on the same helicarrier as Natasha for around a year, too. He would've avoided her a lot, but I can easily see Natasha approaching him eventually, or them running into each other and trying to reconcile. Especially once Bruce remembers everything that happened during the helicarrier incident, and how scared Natasha was. He had offered Natasha a brief apology during the Chitauri invasion, but after those memories were dredged up, it would suddenly become insufficient.

But during or after the Sokovia incident, I doubt they would start a relationship with each other. This is simply because Natasha caused Bruce a lot of turmoil around this time, and afterwards. She betrayed his trust during the Sokovia battle by forcing him to transform, which also worsened an issue that Bruce was currently having with his condition. Her support of the Sokovia Accords didn't help either, because Bruce was vehemently against them from the very beginning, having seen Ross’ wish to exploit the Hulk’s abilities, and he feared this would continue on a much greater scale if the Accords were ratified, with hundreds (if not thousands) of identified superhumans now vulnerable. I hesitate to say Bruce will never trust Natasha again, but while he could probably reach a tentative comfortability around her, a romantic relationship might be asking too much. There’s simply too much negative history between them, a lot of which entails broken trust. And once Bruce’s trust in someone is broken, well, it’s monumentally difficult to restore.

#( answered. ) #( headcanon. ) #anonymous #bruce banner #thanks again!

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 21: MJ is more vulnerable than Spider-Man

Previous Part

Next Part

Master Post

Last time I dissected notable times where MJ had to defend her self and others. That dissection defined the limitations in MJ’s abilities to fend off assailants. This time we are going to take a brief tangent and hold Spider-Man himself to similar scrutiny.

At first glance, a counter to part 20’s conclusions are that a double standard is in play between MJ and Spider-Man

How many times has luck saved him?

How many times has arming himself or exploiting a resource meant the difference between life and death?

How many times has he  gone up against superior numbers or needed help to save the day? Heck, sometimes it’s MJ herself who helped save Peter’s life.

The problem though is that this comparison is kinda…disingenuous..

The key reason lies in the difference between Mary Jane and Peter’s comparative skills, abilities and experiences.

Spider-Man possesses…

natural abilities

reliable access to equipment and resources

years of experience

…that give him natural advantages over any non-powered civilian in dangerous situations.

He is physically more powerful than any normal human being. 

It’s not even that he can just do anything a normal human could theoretically do but better. That is to say, it’s not just that he can lift more, sprint faster, perform better acrobatics and heal faster than a normal human being. 

His powers simply transcend the capabilities of the normal human body. No normal human being can adhere to walls. No normal human being has a precognitive sense of almost any and all kinds of danger, whether it’s a holstered  gun or some spoiled food.

Additionally the vast majority of human beings lack Peter’s scientific acumen (which does  play into combat conditions a lot of the time) as well as his (relatively) unique web-shooters. He is also witty and adept at strategic thinking, most famously employing humour to throw opponents off opening up exploitable opportunities in battle.

Peter’s skills, abilities and equipment have been further enhanced through over ten years of on-the-job experience. This has given him athletic levels of muscle memory in combat and even developed his body to the point where he is incredibly fit even when his powers are removed, as witnessed in ASM #341.

All this taken collectively means that Spider-Man is incredibly formidable fighter for almost any individual or group, be they super powered or otherwise.**

Nine times out of ten he has the options of:

Tricking/outthinking his opponents

Wearing them out

Surviving many attacks lethal to normal people, enabling him to either find an opening later or save civilians

Simply physically subduing them with his body or webbing

Rendering them unconscious (or technically even killing) them with his strength***

Using his scientific acumen to outright invent a solution to a dangerous problem. This can include modified versions of his webbing tailored to an opponent’s weakness

Turning groups against one another

Disarming them

Intimidating them

Getting inside their head

Spidey cannot simply pick any one of these options against any opponent. But the number of options available to him means that he has a high probability of at least one of them working.

It also means he has a pretty good chance of success against a wide variety of opponents, even if they have an edge over him in one or more capacities.

Using his resourcefulness and scientific intellect, he has defeated Morlun multiple times despite him having vastly superior strength and durability than Spider-Man himself.

His fighting skills are such that he can hold his own against Captain America who’s generally more experienced than Spider-Man and a superior hand-to-hand fighter and strategist.

He’s defeated a whole group of the X-Men, whose experience, teamwork, raw power and diverse abilities make them incredibly formidable.

His fighting prowess is such that he was unable to be defeated by a similarly diverse group of heroes known as the New Warriors. Whilst the New Warriors are not the measure of the X-Men what made this impressive was that (due to mind control) Spider-Man was actively trying to let them win.

Even so, there are people very much out of Spider-Man’s league. For example, Spider-Man does not usually pick fights with Magneto, Mephisto, Ultron or Galactus. He rationally understands that he would have no hope of defeating such people and leaves them to better suited heroes like the X-Men, Doctor Strange, the Fantastic Four and the Avengers.

Spider-Man is not stupid, arrogant nor self-destructive. Like MJ, he is aware of his limitations; although he does at times underestimate himself. If he regards a threat as out of his league, even one more directly connected to himself, he knows to seek help. This is exemplified in ASM #361 after he has proven incapable of defeating Carnage on his own. He tries to call the Avengers or F4 for help but they are unavailable, forcing Spidey to team up with Venom.

Hmm, up against dangerous overwhelmingly odds and calling for help? Could this perhaps be something Mary Jane should consider in AMJ?

Only when he has no other options does Spidey chosen to fight people he doesn’t believe he has much (if any) chance of beating.

A classic example of this is ASM #269 when Firelord tried to kill him. 

For context Firelord is a former Herald of Galactus, putting him relatively close to the power level of cosmically empowered beings like the Silver Surfer and Thor.

Peter tried to find the Fantastic Four, who had experience dealing with Galactus and his Heralds. 

En route he even mentioned how the Avengers were better suited to handling guys like Firelord compared to himself. 

Unfortunately the F4 were completely unavailable. 

Peter considers going to the Avengers but realises with Firelord speed he’d be unable to reach them in time. Briefly, Peter considers simply changing into Peter Parker and avoiding Firelord altogether. However, his sense of responsibility compels him to fight in case Firelord hurts someone in his search for Spidey.

Thus Peter resolves to defeat someone who seems to outmatch him. 

But now let’s compare all this to Mary Jane.

MJ is certainly smart and resourceful. This then means she can outthink her opponents and get inside their heads as Spider-Man does at times.

But like I said above, Spidey has many more options than just those ones.

MJ lacks Peter’s specific scientific acumen, which limits her abilities to draw upon that to mitigate dangers. She cannot for instance invent a gadget or chemical tailored to a specific problem. There might even be viable solutions to a problem in the heat of the moment she is unaware of because you’d need a college degree in bio-chem to realise them.

Regardless of sex or gender, as a normal human Mary Jane is simply less capable of surviving physical attacks compared to Spider-Man.

She cannot move nearly as fast as him, nor even as fast as normal yet trained heroes.

Her strength level is average for someone of her height and build.

She usually doesn’t have access to unique weapons like web-shooters, nor even regular firearms (not that these are usually effective against super villains). Even if she were to have a set in her possession her ability to use them would be limited because she doesn’t know how to create or maintain them. Were they to be damaged, lost or run out of web-fluid she would need to turn to a third party to get them working again. In contrast Peter could create web-shooters from scratch with fairly limited resources.

And were MJ to have web-shooters she cannot optimise their use because she doesn’t have Peter’s other powers. She cannot combine strength, agility, wall-crawling and spider sense to bounce around a room, swing across a rooftop or even fire off rapid and highly accurate shots at opponents.

She doesn’t even have a mere precognitive danger sense, the single most useful power when dealing with Mysterio.

And her muscle memory, her battle instinct if you will, are pretty impressive but nowhere near to the levels of Spider-Man’s or most super heroes. MJ’s action amidst danger is not even half as regular as Peter’s. Peter has dealt with at least small-scale criminals for the vast majority of his adult life. It’s the difference between someone who plays a sport on every weekend for five years vs. someone who has played that sport practically every day for 10 years. The latter’s instincts and reactions are simply going to be better than the former’s.

Basically, unless there are very specific extenuating circumstances, Peter Parker enters into any situation objectively  safer than Mary Jane.

He has objectively  greater chances of surviving and ensuring the survival of others than she does. That would hold true even if Mary Jane is armed with a gun and is mentally prepared for what was to come.

In most dangerous situations Peter is highly likely  to be ‘punching down’ whilst MJ would be ‘punching up’.

This doesn’t mean he’s guaranteed of victory at all, but when it comes to dealing with criminals or super villains his chances are reliably  high  whilst MJ’s are far less reliable.

And those chances, that reliability? It’s mostly internal, a hardwired aspect of his very being .

Outside of exceptional circumstances his powers, experience and intelligence can’t be taken away from him. He will always be armed with that stuff no matter where he is. Even his web-shooters are tools he invented from (expensive yet) easily obtained resources and they are not strictly essential to his combat abilities. Were he to find himself without them amidst most dangerous situations, his chances for protecting himself and others wouldn’t be close to nil by any means and he could simply recreate them with time.

These skills mean he’s only intermittently reliant upon others in combat situations. Usually he could get himself or others to safety or diffuse most threats that crop up. Similarly his need of luck is greatly reduced. Of course luck has often saved his bacon but it hasn’t been a near systemic requirement. Even in his early career neither luck nor assistance played much (if any) role in his initial victories over the Vulture, Doctor Octopus, the Scorpion and many other opponents.

Mary Jane in contrast lacks  these internal skills. She has other  internal skills that can aid her and prove invaluable, but they don’t amount to reliably giving her a chance in the majority of combat situations. Not without external factors (luck, assistance, etc.) aiding her. As we discussed in the prior instalment, that’s actually how she has endured the majority of hazardous encounters in her time.

To use the sports analogy again, Peter would be a professional NBA player who is at least proficient in all positions on the court and Mary Jane would be an amateur player who practices on the weekend but only in one or two positions. Peter could go up against at least a large number of other players and stand a reasonable chance and possibly carry the team over all.

But for Mary Jane to stand a fair chance she’d need a lot more things to go her way. The right opponent(s), the right opportunities presenting themselves, the right amount of support from her team mates etc. The fact that she’s played a few games and held her own, even won some outright, is a testament to her inner talent. But as a basketball player she’s just not on the same level as Peter, or Black Widow or She-Hulk or Wonder Woman.

With all that context dispensed with let’s move onto a bigger question.

Given MJ’s abilities and combat history is she capable of preventing Mysterio and his cronies from harming her self and others?

*In fact Spider-Man has tended to fight more effectively against groups of opponents as his speed enables him to move between them and use his opponents against one another.

This is partially due to the fact that Spider-Man’s skills in tandem give him an incredibly unique fighting style that no one without his powers can possibly replicate.

**It should be noted that Spider-Man typically restrains his strength on a conscious and unconscious level. He knowingly adjusts the amount of force he applies depending upon his opponents but he also restrains himself without realizing it. The result is that the depth of Spider-Man’s  strength level is often surprising for him and his enemies. This is exemplified in ASM #700, when Doctor Octopus in Spider-Man’s body accidentally punches off the jaw of the Scorpion, someone who was designed to have superior strength to Spider-Man. Doc Ock himself is shocked to realize just how much Spider-Man held back.

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#Spider-Man #Mysterio #Peter Parker #mjwatsonedit #mary jane watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #MJ Watson #Quentin Beck #Leah Williams #Amazing Mary Jane #Captain America #Steve Rogers #Firelord #Avengers #Fantastic Four #Scorpion #Superior Spider-Man #Mac Gargan #Doc Ock #otto octavius #Doctor Octopus #Morlun #X-Men #Carnage #Venom #New Warriors #Carnage Symbiote #Venom Symbiote

[utilitatem]

What is peace? Peace has long been defined in tandem with its natural counterpart: violence and war, specifically its absence. If violence is present, there can be no peace. If peace is present, there can be no violence. It is a cut and dry definition of both peace and war akin to the concept of light and shadow. However, a simple question shakes this common and age-old definition of peace. Take out the war, the gunfire, the confrontation, the battles, the bloodshed, and we should be left with is peace. Indeed, in the time we live in today, there has been an absence of any major conflict that shook the world prior: The World Wars, civil wars, and terrorism. Today, our time has been that of relative peace, a time where war and violence were low or almost absent. Yet, as we proceed through our everyday lives, doing the things we do in our current society, a question hangs over our heads. Do we feel at peace?

This is a question we tackle not with our intellect but rather with our feelings. How often do we feel disturbed, restless, and even lost in our daily lives? Perhaps the frequency doesn’t matter, the simple fact that it exists is already a challenge to the peace we’ve come to know. Most likely, with these feelings in our hearts, we’ve felt that we weren’t in peace in one way or another. With the advent of new challenges and problems in our current world, it is only natural, no matter if we view it from a personal or global viewpoint. There are factors that go beyond direct violence that have been rare in our daily lives. Therefore, we have to change our definition of peace, which goes beyond simply eliminating that which is not peaceful. We have to foster peace ourselves.

This is the context of what we’ve learned through our education of peace. Peace is not just the absence of violence. Peace is forgiveness. Peace is caring. Peace is sharing. It is positive communication, tolerance, diversity, individuality, freedom, and even more than that. Peace is the absence of violence through the resolution of conflicts and the collaboration to foster an improvement in the quality of life. Here, we show you as Utilitatem who strive for the common good how we give peace shape, make it foster, and ultimately share that peace with others.

Through our picture, collage shows you how we, as individuals give peace as we view it. A common theme has been imagery that furthers freedom and gentleness, images of a dove, images of the night sky and stars, and images of people that, even with their differences, can band together harmoniously. These are our images of peace that go beyond just the absence of violence. These are our images of which we feel happy, we feel our identity and being. These are our images of which we feel at peace as persons. With the challenges we face as young adults, as students, and as individuals being faced with this pandemic, we bring upon a solution to ourselves to address the predicaments that we face where we become free, foster peace and grow as persons. It is one of the dimensions of peace that we aim and constantly work for. After all, it is our firm belief that if we are not at peace, we cannot share or be at peace with others.

This brings us to our next dimension, which turns this collage into something more, a single united picture of peace. As members of Utilitatem, we acknowledge the desire for peace within each other, and together we collaborate. Even with our different shapes and forms of peace, we can form a community where peace is present in its parts and as a cumulative collection present in the whole. Through collaboration within the group members, peace grows from within ourselves outwards towards others we come to an understanding with. We understand the differences we have in terms of ourselves and our peace, and we collaborate to build upon each other’s peace. We bring each other up so that the peace we’ve given form individually may create something more—a collaborative effort to fostering peace within peoples.

What we’ve presented to you is our peace. While our methods are not all-encompassing to the different situations everywhere in the world, we give you our example of how we have achieved it as different individuals and as a unified group. It is our guideline of which we built through our collaboration. There will be hurdles and even mountains to climb in the way to peace within all the peoples in the Earth, but what is important to know is that peace starts here. It starts within us, in our hearts, and through the people around us helping each other out, we make that peace grow to become ours.

Here in Utilitatem, we aim for the common good. We aim to resolve conflicts and band together people to improve the lives of all. Here, we aim for a common peace.

[southwarkcofe]

COVID-19: From the viewpoint of a scientist who is also a priest

Bishop Christopher personally requested The Revd Professor Mary Seller to write this Hearts on Fire blog. Bishop Christopher wanted to share Mary Sellar’s thoughts more widely because they form part of a bigger picture of the pandemic, offering medical and theological insights into the times through which we are all having to live. Bishop Christopher does, however, realise that this may make difficult reading for some particularly those who have lost loved ones, have contracted the virus or been shielding at home. 

Until her retirement Mary Seller was Professor of Developmental Genetics, King’s College London and is Assistant Priest, at St John the Evangelist, Hurst Green, Surrey.

Epidemics were not unknown to the peoples of biblical times.  They were called plagues, and were interpreted as the acts of a vengeful God as punishment for a rebellious people. There was no such explanation given in March this year, when enormous swarms of locusts devastated vast swathes of crops in East Africa. Our notions of God, and of the causes of such invasive happenings, have changed, and are more informed.

The current pandemic of a coronavirus, specifically: Covid-19, has heightened both our fear and our loathing of viruses. Over the years, viral diseases such as smallpox, poliomyelitis, measles and chickenpox have wrought much suffering on people. Currently, there is no doubt that a great deal of pain, grief and hardship has resulted from Covid-19’s arrival, both directly, through the severe illness and sometimes fatal outcome it has caused, and indirectly, in the isolation people have endured with consequent loneliness, and loss of income and livelihoods.

Thus, it may appear somewhat insensitive for this paper to opine the view that viruses are a rather beautiful and clever part of God’s wonderful creation. For yes, God, the creator of heaven and earth, and all that therein is, in his wisdom, made viruses, amongst the vast panoply of his created works!  Although not visible to the naked eye, or even under an ordinary light microscope, viruses are actually the most abundant biological entity on earth, and outnumber all others types, both plant and animal, put together.  Furthermore, they are essential for the survival of all other created things. Hence my acclamation of them

The wonder that is a virus – the facts

A virus is a most intriguing creation for it is both primitive and sophisticated. Firstly, there is dispute as to whether it really is a living organism. A virus comprises some genetic material (either DNA or RNA) wrapped in a protein coat. On its own, is an inert entity. It can do nothing until it finds another organism which it invades and uses for its own particular end, namely to reproduce. A virus is thus a parasite. The fact that, alone, a virus cannot replicate itself, is the reason some consider it not to be a form of life. However, there are a number of definitions of ‘life’, not only scientific, but also philosophical and theological. This aspect will not be considered further here.

When a virus encounters another organism, it attaches itself to the outer membrane of some cells of this host - in the case of Covid-19, to the cells lining a person’s nasal cavity and throat. It penetrates that membrane and enters the inside of the cell - the host has become infected. Then the virus integrates its genetic material (RNA in the case of Covid-19) into that of its host, and proceeds to use the host’s cellular machinery both to replicate its own genetic material, and to synthesise its specific viral proteins. Thus, the virus cleverly manipulates another organism both to make abundant copies of its viral genome (= the complete set of genes present in an organism), and to make the viral envelope, and in a very short time millions of copies of the viruses are produced. Usually, the host cell becomes so full of them that it dies and bursts, so releasing them to infect more cells.  Alternatively, the new viruses may simply ‘bud’ off the host cell, to spread to other cells.  The virus does use some of its own limited number of enzymes to facilitate part of the replication process, and it is the action of one of these that the drug ‘Remdesivir‘, currently being trialled to treat Covid-19 patients, inactivates.  

I find that life story an astonishing and innovative way of existence!

Viruses probably originated just over three billion years ago, when life was in its very primitive stages, existing simply as single cells, although it is not known for sure as there is no obvious fossils record of viruses. That viruses are still around today is testament to their success as creations. It is estimated that there are at least 100 million different viruses, living in all types of life: plants, animals, birds, fish, insects and, importantly, bacteria (see below). Usually, they co-exist harmlessly.

You may find the following shocking! We humans have trillions of viruses inside us, and on our skin. We are completely unaware that these viruses live harmoniously with us, just as we are also probably unaware how vital they are to our existence. Without them, we would not be here.

Moreover, and prepare for another shock! Some of our own DNA is viral in origin. It comprises, about 8% of our total genome, in roughly 100,000 different pieces.  Our viral DNA is not just a relic of evolution, but it is often beneficial to us. Some of its known functions include protecting us against disease, helping us to digest certain food, and controlling some gene activity.

Thus, viral DNA, inserted into our ancestors eons ago, inherited over the ages and carried down to us today, helps to make us tick and keep us well – now, isn’t that awe-inspiring?  

Viruses are integral to nature, that is, to the entire created order. Crucial to this are the viruses that infect bacteria. These are called: bacteriophages, and overall, are the predominant types of viruses. Bacteria are another of God’s marvels of creation, for they are as vital to life as viruses are. Bacteria decompose organic matter found in both the soil and in the oceans, and recycle substances, including as nitrogen and carbon. This is particularly important because these elements are necessary for life, and plants and animals cannot make them for themselves. Bacteria produce them as they decompose matter but keep them within their structure. However, viruses that use bacteria as their hosts, kill them in the process causing them to burst, and this releases these essential elements into the environment, thereby rendering them available for plants and animals to utilise.  

In this way, viruses play an indispensable role in the survival, dynamics and balance of all the ecosystems (= biological communities of interacting organisms and their physical environment, for example, the Amazon rainforest; a desert; a coral reef) that comprise life on earth.

Viruses are astounding, magnificent, creations of God. ‘O Lord, how manifold are your works! In wisdom you have made them all’ (Psalm 104, verse 24).

God and his creation

‘God saw all that he had made, and it was very good’ (Gen. 1:31).

There are a number of meanings of the word ‘good’. In the creation story, the implication is that God values all that he has made. Each member of the created order is good of itself, it is a functioning, surviving entity, it has wholeness. And it is also good for the rest of creation, as part of the greater whole.

That describes viruses exactly. They function exquisitely, God’s handiwork was excellent, enabling viruses to survive for over three billion years – they are inherently good. They are also of immense worth for the rest of the natural world, playing a vital supporting role within it, so they have a moral goodness.

God indeed made viruses very good.

Humans: co-creators with God  

 Our belief is that God created us human beings in his own image. One of the many aspects of that is that humans reflect some of God’s creative ability. Humans have a great capacity to be inventive, ingenious and original.  This is manifest in, for example, contemporary advances in science and medicine. However, the recent developments in molecular cell biology and genetics have been possible only because of viruses, particularly bacteriophages.

The God given resourcefulness of human beings has harnessed firstly, the ability of viruses to cut the host’s DNA at a specific point, secondly, viral enzymes in order to make endless copies of RNA and DNA in the laboratory, and thirdly, the ability of viruses to infect cells, which has enabled gene therapy, using modified viruses to carry a desired gene into a cell. This has, and continues to, revolutionise medicine, and its healing power and potential.

God made viruses, and he made humans with intellect and ingenuity. I believe this is how God’s creation continues in his world today – those he made in his image are now co-creators with Him.

Science and religion

It used to be said that science and religion were in conflict.  Today, I, and many others think this is not so. Rather, I believe that science enhances our knowledge and experience of God. We now understand God’s role as that of one who works in and through the processes of nature, including, through the people he has created.  He remains omnipotent, but He chose to make a universe that is an ongoing process, continually changing.  He didn’t just create once, a one job lot, but as a creation that evolves over time.

The genetic material randomly changes all the time – it mutates. Some changes are harmful, some are beneficial, most are neutral. Mutations are the foundation of evolution, and are God’s way of maintaining, developing and enhancing his creation. Animals and plants and viruses alter, some become extinct, new species appear. The physical world is never constant either - coast lines alters as land is eroded and falls into the sea, while elsewhere, new islands appear in oceans as a result of volcanic activity. The entire universe is expanding. The evidence that God’s creation is always changing is ever before us if we will only look.

God’s superb creation is dynamic, never static, and his work of creation carries on ceaselessly. That is God’s way.

Human suffering

God gave his human creations freedom – freedom to choose between right and wrong, and between good and evil.  That was a risk; there are consequences. Usually, human suffering arises because of selfish or malicious acts by one person on another.  However, the current pandemic is caused by a virus, but is not malicious or selfish, it is just itself, going through God’s way of dynamic mutation, change and development.

It may sound cold hearted and lacking sympathy, but part of balance within God’s created order is an economy of nature, which, when viewed from the human perspective, has downsides, and may not be what we ourselves would choose.  On the African plains, we marvel at magnificent lions living in prides with their cubs, and also at the herds of graceful antelopes quietly grazing nearby. But lions hunt and kill these innocent creatures in order to eat and to feed their cubs, and so to survive. Similarly, crocodiles catch and eat adventurous wildebeests on their yearly migration during which they have to swim across African rivers.  These are instances of the natural processes of life within the economy of the created order – there is life and there is death.

A minute number of types of viruses out of the millions that are known, cause suffering and death to humans. Even they are God’s creations. Like lions and crocodiles, they too, are instances of the natural processes of life. It is not intentional on God’s part - he did not make viruses in order to cause human suffering, it is a consequence of the wider, integrated workings of the created order, in all its forceful majesty. God does not want people to suffer, but he permits it.

Furthermore, God neither sends suffering to an individual, nor offers an individual exemption from suffering.  But when suffering comes, God comes too, and is there alongside us, to comfort and lead us through it. Our way of discipleship is knowing that God in Jesus came and experienced suffering, sharing human pain at it very worst. And he showed us that the end is not the Cross, but the resurrection. After suffering, the scars will remain, but God gives us the opportunity to emerge from the darkness into the light, changed and transformed.

29.5.20

All photos by Jim Grover from his photo-story ‘Here Am I’; an exhibition commissioned by Bishop Christopher to celebrate in 2019 the 25th anniversary of the ordination of women clergy in the CoE.  For more images and details:  www.here-am-i.com

[goodvibesatpeace]

Theories: Our Extraterrestrial Origins

If you fancy a bit of light reading 😀

We are in this physical world, but we are not from this world. It is important to understand that there is an evolution of Souls going on through the earthly experience, but also a development for every individual Soul. This is how the passage into higher and higher dimensions can be explained in simple terms.

There are many immature Souls on planet Earth, and also many misguided Souls. Other Souls do not possess the best intentions, or are simply controlled by beings without a body, whose intentions and evolutionary process are not commendable.

Many dope addicts and alcoholics have this unfavorable trait as do many selfish and greedy people.

Few humans, because of their inclinations or because of their immaturity allow unknowingly those beings to manipulate them from time to time.

The beings I am referring to, are not yet developed as Souls, nor do they possess a Higher Self or higher conscious awareness — only the mortal and limited intellect.

This is by no way a reproach towards them, since most Souls are going through a similar process of evolution on Earth, where beings are not born consciously aware, unlike on some other planets.

Humans on Earth, because of heredity, do need conscious spiritual work on themselves in order to set themselves free from their genetic compromised DNA (and intelligence), and clear their karma in order to ascend to Higher Dimensions and levels of existence.

In other words, perhaps it would help to compare a developing Soul on Earth to that of one of Earth’s children.

When the child grows, he/she develops certain physical attributes, but also awareness, his feelings and understanding, his brain and endocrine system are in formation. Souls undergoes a similar development; they need various experiences to mature, and develop consciousness.

The Universe is in perpetual growth — creation never stops. Life comes under various forms, obeys various rules, and there are as many possibilities as universes.

Your planet has a heavy history of genetic manipulation and experimentation.

Your kind, the pure physical human kind, was developed around a Soul, in order to experience a 3D dimension level of density, so Souls had in effect to descend down the octave of creation in order to experience duality.

This occurred because of the Atlantean Fall of your civilization: The Anunnaki, Mankind’s Enslavement and the Afterlife Deception

However, many of you have previously lived in much higher densities, but because of the fall, you had to learn to adapt to this 3D dimensional density, which was never meant to be your natural home.

Other Souls have also volunteered to experience life in lower densities, or were sent here from higher densities in order to further their understanding of your world or of their own world or simply in order to help our Prime Creator on your world.

These beings come from a higher plane of existence, which is their natural habitat.

None of you, who are reading these messages or have a deep spiritual need, have been created in the 3D dimension, and you long to return home, where you have been created, to a higher dimension.

The physical born beings will, in time, mature and become conscious enough to evolve into higher dimensions. These are the ones who are not aware of their Higher Self, but are given the experience here in order to make them aware of their potential.

This is a natural process for all Souls, as all Souls will eventually make their journey back home towards our Prime Creator.

It is important for you to comprehend also that although all humans look alike, their inner abilities vary greatly.

Have you also considered the fact that some civilizations are so old and advanced that they can create soulless beings? Such beings are called ‘clones’ or ‘things’ on your world.

This technology is already available to your scientists, and they can create or copy a human body, such as one would grow a plant.

However, these beings do not possess a Soul, because they were not created by our Common Creator, but are the results of mechanical genetic engineering.

This is another reason why some humans would not have a Higher Self.

While their external appearance is in no way different to that of ordinary humans, the Spark of divine Life force and Consciousness is not inside of them.

Those beings have mixed their mechanical genetic material with humans having a Soul, which has led to much DNA damage.

There are many animals which are in human form, but not all animals are beasts, nor are all beasts animals.

The Earth’s population is comprised of many Souls, with many different contracts, coming from various densities of consciousness.

What man mistakes for thinking is but an intellectual awareness of things sensed and recorded within the cells of his brain for repetitive usage through what is termed “memories.”

Memories have no more relation to knowledge of Universal Mind which is in man, than a computer records are related to the source of their recordings.

What he thinks of as his living body is but an obedient and motivated mechanical construct which simulates life through motion extended to it from its Soul, which alone lives and wills the body to move.

Your physical (Clay) body is terrestrial, but that is not you.

Your Soul, that Consciousness which you are, is that which has a temporary physical experience for its own development. The mechanical clay body you use has a Conscious experience.

But you are that Consciousness.

The physical world and anything in it cannot and never has created Conscious awareness.

Intelligence, as found in snakes or spiders, yes, but not Conscious awareness.

Some people think that the human body — which is flesh evolved at conscious awareness — is Soul, by some totally unexplained and totally unproven method. Think of that for a minute, Pilgrim.

Common sense tells us that it is not reasonable that the human sex act can create a Soul in the Prime Creator’s image, since if it was so, we would not be creations of the Prime Creator, but of our physical parents’ mortal mechanical primate bodies.

The human body, which your physical parents gave you, is the vehicle you use. But You are the Soul, created in the Prime Creator’s image, using the human flesh body your parents made ready for you to use.

And if a Soul is pre-existent, which it is, and can enter into a body at some time in the baby’s development stage and leave the body when it dies, then logic and reason tells us that the Soul can also enter many more times.

All the physical effects in your life are only the effects of the thoughts of your Conscious mind.

The so-called sins and evil are not in the action of what your mechanical body does, but in the thoughts that come from what you think. Your Soul is accountable and will reap its own harvest. All the actions and words of your body are the effects of your thoughts.

Countless religious and cultural teachings, as well as many different Philosophies, commands us to do good, but sadly, goodness is still veiled like in a thick mist.

Many Souls have been stumbling in darkness, scraping their knees; but worry not, for eventually they all learn to walk!

Soon after this dark period we live in, there will be so much light that you will have to wear shades.

New information and better comprehension periodically transforms mankind into more conscious beings and a new awareness cycle — which will last for many thousands of years to come — is now commencing.

The Prime Creators’ omniscience, omnipotence and omnipresence are centered in the consciousness of each and every man; but there are only few who know of the Oneness of their Soul with the Creator.

Man requires millennia to become aware of that. Each cycle brings him nearer to the awareness of his Oneness with the Source.

Mankind lives in a bewildering complex world of Effects and doesn’t know the original Cause.

Because of its seemingly infinite multiplicity and complexity, mankind fails to see or visualize the simple underlying principle of all things. He complicates truths and half-truths until its many angles, sides and facets have lost balance with each other and with him.

All knowledge exists and is available. All knowledge will come to mankind in its own season, as needed.

Enlightened Souls and messengers, periodically come and give such Universal knowledge, but only when man is able to comprehend it and only that he can bear at the moment, for man is just beginning to comprehend the wholeness.

When we will master Enlightenment, we will know no limitations — but man must know the Light within oneself, the ever present Universal Consciousness.

And man must want to know and to experience it oneself and then no one can tell otherwise, for Light knows Light intuitively.

Mankind is aware of some of these illusions, but we are not aware of the fact that all effects are not what they seem to be.

Thus we are misled into forming conclusions which have no relation to Nature and reality whatsoever.

An intelligent person has mostly knowledge of the effect, but all real knowledge and understanding lies in the cause. New fundamental laws and principles must be based upon knowledge of the Cause.

What little knowledge man has acquired during these last few thousand years, has been given to us by the very few geniuses, prophets, mystics and other messengers of the Light who have come to re-inspire mankind with their insight and knowledge.

From these rare few, the beginnings of our culture have sprung. Without them there would be no understanding of beauty in this materialistic world.

Without grasp of beauty man would still be living in caves. Through beauty alone will man gradually become consciously aware of his oneness with the Light? When man knows the Light he will know all things.

Today, that Light is so dim in all men that no one, perhaps only a few, have fathomed the secret of Light, life, Love, growth, reincarnation and about the third wave of Souls entering now.

The great unanswered questions of man have simple answers.

The Silent Voice within every man is ceaselessly whispering it to his awakening consciousness.

Every desire written upon the heart of man is carried to the Source of the original cause, and its answer will come, but only few ask from their heart and there are fewer still who listen.

Many are the ages of preparation for worthiness, for man’s consciousness is insulated from his Source by the sensations of his per-conditioned intellect and his selfish personal Self which he wrongly thinks of as being his Mind.

What man calls his objective human mind/ intellect is mortal and the seat of both right and wrong information absorption and a multitude of vibrating sensations of his mortal body.

What he calls his subjective mind is his sub-consciousness, his spiritual storehouse of memory of all-knowledge, all power, and all-presence.

That consciousness is his individual Self, his ETERNAL Self through which his omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are expressed as he slowly becomes aware of their presence within him.

The electrically vibrating nerve-wires which operate his bodily mechanism act almost entirely through automatic reflexes and instinctive control, and to a very little extent through mental decisions.

Each cell and organ of his body has an electrical awareness of its purpose and each fulfills that purpose without any mental action whatsoever upon the part of the Intelligence which occupies that body.

The heartbeat, for example, is purely automatic. The white corpuscles of the blood rush to repair an injury to the body as automatically as a bell rings when a button is pushed.

In this body and its electric recording brain, man thinks that he thinks and lives, loves and dies. He thinks himself conscious while awake and unconscious when sleeping — unaware that in all Nature there is no such condition as unconsciousness when sensation ceases in sleep.

Man does not say that his tooth is unconscious when it is put to sleep by short-circuiting the electric current in the nerve-wire which gives sensed electrical awareness to his tooth.

He knows that his tooth cannot be conscious, but he does not know that his mechanical body cannot be Conscious. Nor does he yet know that consciousness never sleeps, and never changes, for consciousness in man is his immortality.

Man is still new. He is barely out of the dark of his jungle of ignorance.

For the million or more years of his unfolding he has relied upon sensation for his actions and the evidence of his senses for his knowing. Few have been aware of the Spirit (Life force, Conscious awareness) in them.

In this beginning of his new awareness he is confused, not knowing which is Mind in him, which is consciousness in him and which is sensation.

He has not yet learned that bodies are but Self-created Mechanisms which manifest their centering Self, and that Self manifests the Prime Creator as One with it.

Dolores Cannon: “We Are Living in the Most Important Time in the History of the Universe”

Likewise, he has not yet learned that bodies neither live nor die, but repeat themselves continuously (“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”) and forever as all idea of Mind likewise repeats itself.

Free will is a gift to everybody from our Creator, by following orthodox religions, scriptures, man-made systems, having blind faith, or admiring individual orators blindly without pondering and wondering if the information you get is real, truthful, or not, many have abdicated their own God given free will to the will of others by being followers and joiners.

They became the effects of other people instead of making their own cause by being creative, just like the Prime Creator. (Like being loving co-creators).

Think, make up your own mind about what is real and good and what is not!

There is so much good in all of us, so use it lavishly and unselfishly toward everybody, but don’t be naïve or gullible.

If something doesn’t make sense, it is non-sense. If you don’t search, you won’t find.

Light will not come from others, it comes from within your own consciousness — it is already there waiting to escape.

There is no dead, ever. The body was never alive; it is a created machine that gets the life force and instructions from the Soul consciousness that uses it — but only temporarily.

Yes, we are Aliens — Extra-terrestrials.

Be Open Minded And Question Everything

Love And Light To All 💓💓💓

#theory #human #alien #et #life #soul #body #universe #annunaki #dna #history

[mentallyinwalmart]

Cressworth Modern Au- Dear Liza

I have a HC that even in a modern setting, Audrey Rose would still write letters to Liza when she was at Uni. Here are some of those letters throughout the first term of school~

Dear Liza,

Well the first week at Uni has been an absolute whirlwind. I miss father and uncle dearly (not to mention you of course). But I have made lots of new friends. You would love my roomate, Ileana. Noah from my anatomy class, and Anna from psychology are really cool too, and I feel lucky to have met such great people so early on. Noah and Anna are in my major study group, along with some stuck up bloke called Andrei and a few other people I don’t really know. It is a good group, all of us are very determined (though it is only the first week).

I have to tell you, Liza, the absolute funniest thing happened at orientation over the weekend. You remember Uncle’s summer intern? For the life of me I can’t remember his name, but, well he tripped coming down the steps to come over and greet uncle and I. I swear to you Liza, I almost died trying not to laugh out loud. Uncle says he is very bright, and that I will probably run into him at some point this term, seeing as he is in my same major, but so far, he seems to have disappeared. I spaced on asking uncle for his name, so it would seem perhaps I won’t encounter him again.

I am going to a party tonight, and I’m wearing that dress you made for me before I left. Ileana says I look ravishing, so cheers to you!

But enough about me, how is the school of design? How are your classes and flatmates? I want to know everything.

Love always,

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

The school of design is amazing! Paris is beautiful, and my flatmates are absolutely incredible! You must visit, because you would just die for the culture here. It is so different than home, even if it is just a train ride away.

Anna and Ileana sound just lovely. I think you’d get along swimmingly with my favorite flatmate Daciana. She has the most iconic grunge/vampy look, and it perfectly compliments my summer child vibe. We lovingly refer to one another as our “other halves”. I am dying for you to meet her. And perhaps one day soon you might! She has a brother who actually is enrolled at your school! I’ll be sure to ask if he’s the annoying Andrei. How funny would that be!

But anyway, Daci wants to take the train down to London to visit him in a few weeks time and unless something major happens between us in that time, I’m going to accompany her! It will be so wonderful, cousin!

But now that all that about me is out of the way, let’s talk about your encounter with Uncle’s (super hot) summer apprentice. WHAT LUCK AUDREY ROSE!!! I vividly remember the time the two of you met briefly, and how flustered you were when he walked away. Deny it all you want, but I know you were smitten.

If you see him again, I insist, for the sake of my romantic soul, that you speak to him, instead of laughing at him.

Love you, see you soon,

Liza

Ps- his name is Thomas you absolute fool

--

Dear Liza,

Before I get to my questions about Daci, and about the new aesthetic you’ve seemingly assigned yourself in the few short weeks we’ve been apart, I want to address how ridiculous your claims are.

I have zero feelings for Thomas. Except perhaps feelings of annoyance. True, I found him quite attractive when we met last summer, but i find plenty of people attractive without being “smitten” as you so foolishly put it.

And even if I had been over the summer (which I was not), it is surely gone after working with him this last week. Thomas was a surprise addition to my study group starting at the beginning of this week, and he has proven himself to be most insufferable.

Who has to be right all the time?

And dear Liza, I do not mean “stick to their guns even when they’re wrong” right, I mean, actually, genuinely correct, every damn time. It’s positively infuriating!

Now that we’ve established that the only thing I want between me and Thomas is a brick wall, tell me about your “summer child” aesthetic. Last time I saw you, you were neck deep in prep chic. What has changed?

Daci sounds positively lovely, and I cannot wait to meet her and to see you both.

Anna and I went on this unbelievable night hike last weekend, we went through the forest to the old ruins atop the hill. I’ll have to take you when you come to visit.

Ileana has a friend that goes to your school! She wouldn’t give me a name, saying since it’s such a small school she worries you’d know her, and is keeping her past girlfriends a secret from me ://

Hopefully someday soon I’ll get it out of her. It sounds like she was something special.

Love you, and I excitedly await your visit.

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

First off, I am, and have always been, a summer child. It’s too grey in London for me to fully unleash it. But now here, in Paris, it is lively and warm enough for me to embrace who I really am. You just like to imagine I was a prep because your taste is not nearly refined enough to understand my unique look. (Love you cousin, even if you have the fashion sense of an old woman ;) )

I can’t believe I not only go to school with Ileana’s ex, but also the sister of someone at your school! It’s fate! I’m not sure yet if what kind, but it’s something.

As for Thomas, he sounds infuriating. But then again, isn’t “hot-but-annoying” exactly the criteria for a hate sex partner? I’m just saying, maybe it’s time to ditch the sweaters for something a little more showy and get yourself some action ;)

Love you, please don’t disown me for my foul mouth.

Kisses,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

I made the mistake of reading this in the mail room right after I opened my post box.

And who should I smack right into as my face was burning so hot I was worried my blood may boil?

Thomas.

Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?!

Not that I care what he thinks of me, I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d run into anyone like that.

He asked what I was reading, and because I’m bad at making up lies, I panicked and just mumbled something about having to go.

He had the most infuriating smirk, I swear his already full lips probably doubled in size.

What an absolute buffoon.

Later that night I found him sitting in the (usually vacant) seat besides me in forensics. It’s such a big lecture, I didn’t even know he was in the class. I wasn’t about to ask him to move, even I’m not that harsh. He spent most of the class doodling around the edge of his notebook (he was the only one in the whole lecture who didn’t have a laptop) and yet somehow, he always had the best theories.

Though I don’t like him, I plan to glean everything I can from having him as a new seat mate. He is quite intelligent, but more than that he can insert himself into the situations. It’s fascinating the way his mind works, I intend to steal that trait from him.

As for trading in my sweaters? I will never. They are my truest love. And as for hate sex? Absolutely not. I’m not letting someone I hate be my first time.

Love, your fashion forward cousin,

Audrey Rose

--

My Dearest (fashionably challenged) cousin,

So what you’re saying, is if it wasn’t your first time, you would take the handsome Thomas straight to bed? You little slut.

Daci and I have set a date for our trip. It is to be two weeks from tomorrow, for neither of us have classes on fridays. We will take the evening train, and be with you by midnight!

Her brother is to pick us up from the station in his car, and drive us to your school. I can’t wait to see you!!!

My whole heart is bursting at the thought (just as yours is bursting with loooooove for Thomas)

Seriously Audrey Rose, no one can write that much about someone they “hate so much”.

I know just how frank you can be, and if you truly disliked him as much as you say, you’d have told him to move, or simply say somewhere else.

That and you wouldn’t have gone into such detail about how intelligent he is and how much you think you can learn from him (not to mention how full his lips are!!).

Stop denying it, and just embrace the fact that you are not only attracted to his face, but his intellect.

Can’t wait to tease you about it in person,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

You’re wrong.

Enough about Thomas (though he did bring me a cup of tea to forensics lecture last night when I mentioned earlier that afternoon at study group how tired I was, and how I didn’t have a break until after our night lecture).

I don’t know why I felt compelled to tell you that, maybe just to do him the justice of demonstrating maybe he isn’t all bad.

But still, besides that courtesy he remains an annoyance.

I cannot wait to see you. Ileana and I have found the most wonderful little pub with this incredible live band. They’re from America, and they play this music called “surfer punk”. It is, the strangest thing, but I think you will love them. And if what you’ve said about Daci is true, she will too.

Oh, and speaking of women at your school, Ileana’s ex is apparently “the one who got away”. She told me and Anna the other night when we were all hanging out together in our room. How they only broke up because they were going to different schools. It was the saddest story.

Please don’t stop being my best friend just because you are a Parisian fashion queen surrounded by other Parisian fashion queens.

Love, your bff,

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

First of all, unless someone at school with me here can become better than you, they will never replace you as my best friend/future maid of honor. And spoiler alert, they won’t.

Daci is wonderful, but she will never replace you, no matter how alike we are, you complete me as my polar opposite in some aspects, and yet my mirror image in others.

Wow that was pretty, maybe I ought to be a creative writing major.

In regards to your little Thomas situation, i have been teasing you mercilessly, but in all honesty, that tea thing was very sweet. I think he may have a thing for you too. (Even if it’s just a “id smash if given the opportunity” kinda deal)

This feels like it’s going somewhere, I am thrilled to be experiencing this iconic love story second hand.

your bff,

Liza

Ps- if you get to insist Daci and my other fashion friends don’t replace you than I must insist that Anna and Ileana never replace me in your heart. If I find out you confess your feelings about Thomas to them before me, I will be infuriated. (That is mostly a joke, but in every joke there is a little bit of truth.)

Love youuuuu,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

Of course no one will ever replace you. You’re stuck having me as a best friend forever.

Now that we’re done with that nonsense, I have so much to fill you in on.

We just got slapped with this massive midterm project that is due the day you leave, so naturally I am going to try and get it done before you come. I assumed I was working alone because Thomas didn’t bother asking if I might want to work with him, and I don’t know anyone else in that class. But two days ago, there comes a knock on my door. Naturally, I assumed it was Anna or that Illy had forgotten her keys, so I opened the door.

And who should be leaned against the door frame? You guessed it Liza, Thomas. He handed me a to go cup of Earl Grey and then strode right in like he owned the place.

“Messier than I expected.” was all he said before settling himself at my desk, spreading his notes across my own and launching into his take on the case.

He can be quite captivating when he puts his mind to it, and despite wanting to tell him off for barging in, the longer he talked, the more clear it became that our talents would go better together, and the only way I could get this project done on time would be if we worked together.

So I let him stay, and we have spent the last two days together working day and night trying to finish this. It seems to be driving him mad that he can’t crack it as easily as he can most things in that class. I think that must be what is suddenly making him more tolerable.

Only eight days til I see you, dear cousin. Love always,

Audrey Rose

--

Audrey Rose!!!

You are so smitten!!! When I tell you I canNOT!!! Don’t even try to deny it Audrey Rose!

I have, of course, been keeping Daci in the loop about you and Thomas’ whole “will they or won’t they” scene and she agrees with me that if his actions before hadn’t made it clear he was into you, what he pulled when he came to your room absolutely is. She says you should just make a move, and while I absolutely agree, I told her I bet you wouldn’t because that isn’t very you.

Prove us both wrong?

But even if nothing else comes of it, at least you will (hopefully) get everything done before I get in this weekend! I want every moment with you I can get! Daci and I have the whole thing planned out (of course your American band has made the schedule, Daci is very excited), you, me, her and her brother are going to be like a little posse this weekend, and it’s going to be amazing! And, if Thomas gets jealous you’re spending so much time with another man, you can just invite him. I don’t mind ;)

I’ll see you in six days Audrey!!!!

Love you to America and back,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

I had not intended on writing you again before you visited, but a LOT happened tonight.

I penned this letter when I got back from Thomas’ room at three in the morning and honestly? The only reason I did was so that I wouldn’t think tonight’s events were some kind of strange fever dream.

We were in my room working on our midterm project to no avail, just as we have every night this week. It was infuriating. But then, suddenly I had this epiphany, and moved everything around, and it all made sense! I yanked Thomas over and I swear, he lit up like a firefly.

Before I knew what was happening, Liza, he had taken me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine. He tasted like chocolate, which mostly attribute to the mocha he’d been nursing all evening.It was the best kiss I have ever had, he put Will Blackburn from high school to shame, but he pulled away much too quickly.

His cheeks were flushed and his eyes had a mix of hunger and nerves. He opened his mouth, I can only assume to apologize, but before he could get a word out, my desire overcome me. I let my hands run through his curls as we kissed again, and as soon as it was clear I wanted it as much as he did, he was lifting me up and pressing me against the wall. My shirt was off faster than you can say “abracadabra” and his lips were making a sweet trail down my collar bone to my chest as I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.

I had finally gotten his shirt off, and was running my hands over his abs, my legs wrapped around his waist as he left little love bites on my collar bones and upper chest until suddenly, I heard Illy’s voice outside and her key jingling in the door.

And then, the fire in my core was replaced with icy panic. Luckily, Thomas managed to get into the bathroom before she came in, and I managed to pull my shirt back on before Illy got in the door. I explained as casually as I could that Thomas was on his way out, he had just needed to use the bathroom.

When he reentered the room a few moments later, I was so worried he would give us away, but he looked perfectly put together. BUT LIZA THIS IS WHERE THINGS TRULY GOT INSANE!

HE GREETED ILLY LIKE AN OLD FRIEND!!!

Because apparently?? Thomas’ sister is Illy’s ex, and none other than Daciana Cresswell, your mother fucking roomate.

When I tell you I was floored Liza, I mean it.

Then this boy had the audacity to leave like nothing had happened. But at this point, I had nothing to lose, so after a few moments sorting through details and getting caught up with Ileana, I went up to his room to confront him.

He explained he had put it together when he saw me and Uncle because his sister had been telling him about you, her flatmate named Eliza Wadsworth.

You’d think I would be more upset that he had kept me in the dark, wouldn’t you? But surprisingly, I was not. I guess you were right, Liza. I think I have been smitten since he first stumbled down the steps at orientation.

He seemed nervous I would be angry he had held out on me, but when I told him I wasn’t, it’s like he let down a facade and suddenly he was a whole new person. Unfortunately there wasn’t much fooling around after that (besides the considerable ass grabbing that came with my kiss goodnight) because we both agreed finishing the midterm to be most important that way we can spend the most time with you guys this weekend.

He walked me back to my room despite me insisting he didn’t have to, and taunted me with another kiss, and the promise of taking me on a real date tomorrow night, ‘in the time we would have spent on the project you so brilliantly solved tonight’.

I cannot wait to see you, dearest cousin.

Love,

Audrey Rose Wadsworth

Ps- I will be with Thomas when he picks you up on Thursday night :)

~~~~~

Hope you all enjoyed! This is probably my favorite fic I have ever written!!!! I have decided it is going to inspire a tiny mini series of fic’s, so there will be at least two more coming 

Thanks, as always, for reading, and let me know if you want to be tagged as I post the next ones in this series

xx

#sjtr #stalking jack the ripper #Thomas cresswell #Audrey rose wadsworth #cressworth #cressworth au #cressworth college au #college au #sjtr fanfiction #sjtr au #hunting prince dracula #escaping from houdini #capturing the devli

[sshbpodcast]

Tales from the Holodeck: TNG Fanfic: Ames’s Story

A Star to Steer Her By is closing the book on Star Trek: The Next Generation with our much anticipated fanfic series “Tales from the Holodeck”! With our random draws for our special guest characters in hand, we’ve written new adventures for the crew of the Enterprise-D for you to enjoy! Listen to the whole episode here, or read on below for Ames’s story!

[images © Paramount/CBS]

“Life-Sized Dolls”

by Ames

Random Picks: Dr. Noonian "Often Wrong" Soong, Commander Sela

"Computer, holographic program Soong B-9," she said. Commander Sela articulated her words clearly, each one efficient, sharp, direct. Very Romulan. She paced her ready room back and forth, back again, and when she turned once more, the soft, human features of Dr. Noonian Soong met hers.

The computer program not only made him look entirely real, but allowed him to act just like the real thing. "Whoever you are, you must've found the B-9 unit." As young as he'd programmed himself to appear at the time, his face was serene to the point of smugness, a crooked smirk ever at his lips as he spoke the introductory statement he had written himself to rattle off. "I programmed this holographic interface to answer any questions you might have. I am Dr. Noonian Soong. I created – "

"Let's fast forward this, shall we?" she cut him off. "I am Commander Sela of the Romulan Warbird Goraxus."

He absorbed his surroundings quickly and then watched the Romulan commander before him almost incredulously. Ever thinking, he was evaluating his situation from the start and what it might mean, even if he was just a hologram. Sela knew this and was already tiring of it.

"Dr. Soong," she continued, shark eyes piercing him, "Do you know why you're here?"

"My best guess would be you've found the information module in the B-9 unit. How he got into Romulan hands, of course, I can only surmise."

A pale-skinned android, the B-9 unit, sat lifeless on the couch opposite them in the stark room. Powered down, it appeared much like a sad piece of furniture, mostly human in aspect aside from some unnatural skin and eye coloring. The information module had been stowed safely away in its positronic brain when the android was disassembled so that anyone who found the unit in the future may hear of its purpose, celebrate the brilliant doctor's legacy, and keep the memory of Dr. Soong alive, if one could call it that. In Romulan hands, however, the program could be distorted, tainted, abused. The possibilities for malfeasance were endless.

Sela smirked and walked around the mysteriously handsome automaton which stared with yellow eyes into the middle distance, seeing nothing, unresponsive. She stroked her hand along its shoulders in a manner partly flirtatious and partly dangerous. "A very simple android. Barely worthy of your later talents," she crooned.

"A first draft," he admitted, "though I'm glad to hear I evidently improved. How long...?"

"Don't you worry about that. We need something from you."

"Well," he shrugged, "it's nice to be needed."

Sela grimaced. "You say that every time, Doctor. A predictable program," she said through clenched teeth.

Soong settled into a chair and looked down at the facsimiles of hands his real-life self had programmed, how many years ago? They looked real enough. Could hold objects, gesticulate succinctly. They could touch. For a moment, Sela could mistake the hologram for an actual being considering his own existence, but she knew better than that.

She moved away from the android and lowered herself ominously into her chair behind her desk. "We are asking for your expertise to create Romulan androids. We've been studying your B-9 unit – your early draft, as you say – but even this model is beyond the skills of our engineers, and so we come to you. The next best thing to the mind that invented the positronic brain is a very close-to-life representation of the mind that invented the positronic brain."

Soong scoffed and wrung his hands together. "My my, that certainly sounds like a Romulan scheme to me. I'm sorry but I will not help you people, and you can torture me all you like because…" He shrugged, "I'm not real."

"But Doctor, we've been through this before. Many times now. You think this is the first time we've started your darling little program?"

"How many – ?" he asked, keeping his gaze on her.

"Evidently not enough. But each time you cave, and each time you give us a little more information for building a Soong-type android. You just can't help yourself."

"Is this just some plot against the Federation?" he asked.

"I understand your distrust of us, Doctor, but we can get beyond that. Of course, I could just close down your program and start again, but I believe I know you well enough to predict that you will help us."

Soong stood up and turned his back on the blond Romulan to face his old creation. The holographic scientist mimicked taking in a despondent sigh as he computed his response. "To what end, Commander?" He turned and stared into her eyes. "I told you, B-9 is incomplete. Do you really want a bunch of glorified calculators who look like you?"

Sela could not contain her mischievous smirk. Half the advantage of running the Soong program was knowing everything that had come before that this holographic cyberneticist did not yet know. As any Romulan would, Sela loved having the advantage. "I've seen firsthand what your cunning little human mind can achieve in the real world, what the flesh-and-blood scientist was able to build." 

Her words were forceful but not threatening, and Soong's expression slowly dropped. "I'm not that man yet," he said simply.

"You are," she insisted. "The real Soong, he may have had a couple of years' experience on you, but he made you just like him, and your mind has made the same discoveries his did. With time, the only difference between the two of you will be that you exist in an information module while he is dead and forgotten."

"Small price for immortality, I suppose," he mused flippantly.

"Doctor, you've already improved upon the B-9 unit. See for yourself."

Soong blinked his realistic eyes at her while his program computed this. But his curiosity permeated even this facsimile of himself and he looked to his creation with a sort of wonder and another sort of dread. Cautiously, he stepped forward and found the well-hidden panel in the scalp of the android and opened it up.

Soong shook his head in disbelief as he followed the intricate maze of delicate circuitry with a pointed finger. It was a thing of beauty that could rival most masterpieces in any other medium. A symphony in computer chips. A portrait in conduits. "This is not how I left him. Who did this?" he asked, his face alight with the glow of the circuits that mapped B-9's positronic brain.

"You did," Sela said matter-of-factly. "It's outside the area of my expertise, and none of our scientists have been able to comprehend the cybernetics. Only you have made any progress with upgrading the unit."

"Impossible. This work is more advanced than I have ever attained. Merely learning the programming would take months, even years."

The commander shrugged knowingly, hiding a trademark evil smirk. "As I said, this isn't the first time I've run your program, not to mention the first time I've lamented that you don't continue where you left off." She leaned forward, gripping the sides of her desk. "I've seen what your mind can do. Your later draft, Data, was the pinnacle of brilliance – a genius strategist addicted to bettering himself. I've met him and been thwarted by him, which I'm proud to say I cannot admit about many beings, and we'd like to know how you achieved such a profound creation."

Soong visibly swallowed. "You are attempting to manipulate me, Romulan. I didn't even know this android, not as this version of myself."

"True, that isn't fair to you." She watched him closely, but Soong averted his gaze to look at his powered-down android instead. He stared at B-9's circuits but seemed to be looking past them, before closing the flap. The complex inner workings of the android were again hidden in a very human-looking head of shiny dark hair that gave away nothing of what secrets it concealed.

Sela continued flatly, "B-9 is approaching Data's level of intellect, and has surpassed him in emotional intelligence. You don't know how much respect I have for that android, and before him, I didn't even accept androids as people."

"Commander, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were quite smitten with him."

Sela's lips tightened to a pout. "This is why they called you 'often wrong,' isn't it?" she snorted. "Nothing could be further from the truth. These androids may be advanced and capable as people, but they are still merely tools, like many things, like many beings, sentience notwithstanding."

Soong shook his head, taking this like a startling blow. "Well that's a grim outlook."

"It has its quirks, Doctor. Military superiority, for one. If everything – everyone is a tool, then there is less holding one back against using that tool. Advancing it to advance yourself. You surely understand that, as an inventor."

Something seemed to click in Noonian Soong, his holographic blue eyes twinkling. "So," he reasoned slowly, "in however long you've been exploiting my holoprogam – years perhaps, I don't know – you've never gotten the secret out of me."

"Tell me."

"It's so simple, Commander. I don't understand how it's never occurred to you."

"Tell me!" she shouted at him, standing and coming around the side of her desk to menace him.

"How typically Romulan of you. My dear Commander, what I believe you've been missing in your creations... is to love them."

Her eyes bulged. "Don't be absurd, Doctor. They are tools!"

He shook his head. "They are your children. And children grow when they are loved. That is how I do it. That is how I've always done it, and I'm certain that was how this Data, of whom you're so fond, was created."

Sela paced like an animal on the prowl, the cool power from her former stillness transitioning to a more heated volatility she was barely able to control. "That's ridiculous. I may not be a scientist, Dr. Soong, but even I know that that is not how science works."

"Maybe. Or maybe you're just afraid of loving something."

"I cannot love as you do, Doctor. It is a weakness. I had my human mother killed when I was four years old. I fought hard as a child to dispel my half-human heritage. I poisoned, backstabbed, and deceived my way up the ladder of Romulan command." She spat the words like they were acid in her mouth. "What would I have done with a propensity to love?"

"Quite a lot, I'd imagine. You might even learn to love yourself."

Her glare on him hardened and her sneer pulled back over her teeth. "Is that why your androids are always made in your own image, then? Because you love yourself so much? Because you're an egomaniac?"

"You know, I hear that a lot," he laughed, which was proving a most successful strategy in combating the vexed Romulan. "Is there something wrong with this face?"

Sela didn't say anything to his sass but fumed privately. The Soong program had never riled her so and she began to realize that in all the times it had been run, he had never made this suggestion before. She briefly considered the implications of this, but the holographic scientist wouldn't shut up.

"I could help you, you know," he said gently, appeasing the golden-haired wild beast that was the Romulan commander. "If that was what you wanted, I think you have it in you somewhere to create something beautiful. There is love in you, even if you bury it deep. I can see it."

"Oh, what would you know?"

"You tell me. Which one of us is the brilliant scientist here?" The brilliant scientist shrugged at her, palms up in a sarcastic manner. "I'll do it. I'll continue work on my boy B-9 here. But it won't do you any good if you want androids with pretty, pointy ears like yours unless you can provide them the nurturing touch of someone like a – a parent. Someone who truly loves their creation. Now whom have you ever loved?"

"That's irrelevant."

"That's where you're wrong, missy. Any artificial lifeform is merely the sum of their parts unless they have that. Love is what allows them to evolve." To this, Sela only responded with narrowed eyes, and the doctor continued. "So. Not your mother, you say. That's a shame. Father perhaps? Did you love your father?"

"Of course I loved my father." Sela's discomfort was beginning to wash away at the memory of her revered father. "He was a very powerful Romulan general."

"That's not what I mean. Personally, to you, did you care about him? I bet he cared about you."

The steely-eyed Romulan seemed to mellow, her cutting features softening. A hint of rosiness touched her cheeks. "He did. He protected me and he pushed me. When I was a girl, he liked to lift me in the air and call me... his little warbird…" she trailed off and forced herself not to grin in the presence of this man.

"This may work indeed," Soong said. "I'm sure you'll make your father proud."

Sela rolled her eyes and started toward the door, pushing down the emotions, the color draining from her face until the Romulan yellow hue was visible again. "I'll think about it. That's all I can promise." But she stopped herself and turned back to look at him with curiosity, her features suddenly less jagged. "I must admit," Sela said, with a rare, almost human smile gracing her lips, "I've come to enjoy our little sessions, Doctor."

"As have I, my girl." He looked upon her with a fatherly pride that Sela hadn't seen before and the familiarity of it briefly gave her pause. Something was dawning on her and Soong could tell.

Suddenly, soft noise from the corridor piqued his interest then, footsteps approaching, and Soong instantly took Sela by the shoulder to direct her across the room to the couch before she could think to respond. "Shh, they're returning," he whispered frantically as they both sat next to the B-9 unit. Adroitly, he found the panel in the back of Sela's head that popped open her circuit console the same way that B-9's did, revealing tiny blinking lights and several ports and terminals of this artificial lifeform's positronic brain. He pulled a tiny module from there and hid it in a secret pocket in the Romulan android's thick, boxy sleeve. 

Sela's expression seemed to lose its nuance immediately and she looked dumbly around the room. "Hello," she chirped robotically, nowhere near the self-assured woman she'd been a moment ago.

"Quiet, my girl," Soong crooned, and touched his hand to her face. "We need to go to sleep now, before they find us, okay?"

"Okay. You have funny hair."

"Yes, I'm aware. Say good-night, Sela."

"Good-night, Sela!" On her words, Dr. Soong powered down the Sela android and her body flopped limply against B-9. The others were returning earlier than he'd anticipated and rather mucking up his plans to continue his secret work that day. Even in hologram form, Soong had the inevitable drive to create artificial life, just like his real-life counterpart. It had been bound to happen.

This was the part Soong didn't care for because it went against all of human nature. If he had a heart, it would be racing. He looked down at his two inert androids spooning like lovers on the sofa. How pure and perfect they seemed, like life-sized dolls, full of infinite potential to change the universe as we know it. But not yet. Soong made the involuntary action of licking his lips and with a wince said, "Computer, end Soong program." His form faded into thin air.

Sela and her guards entered then. The real Sela, not one Soong could secretly program in his spare time but still one he had found clever ways to manipulate and deceive. "What're you doing in here, Sela-Two?" she asked rhetorically with some confusion and walked over to her sleeping twin. "Thank you, centurions, that will be all." The guards exited efficiently.

Commander Sela frowned at her creation and propped her up on the couch. She gazed into a face that looked just as hers looked but stiller and with fewer death glares, and then stood up decisively. "Computer, holographic program Soong B-9," she said, pacing her ready room as she so often did, and Dr. Soong materialized before her again and yet also for the first time that day.

"Whoever you are, you must've found the B-9 unit. I programmed this holographic interface – "

" – to answer any questions I might have, yes I know, but we can skip all that," she said, impatient. "Doctor, I need something from you."

Soong automatically started to speak, "Well, it's nice to – ", but this time caught himself. Commander Sela watched him with deliberation. This was new. She hooked a Romulan eyebrow in his direction. "I am Dr. Noonian Soong," he continued with a decisive glimmer in his eyes. "I believe I have a lot I can show you."

—

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[rankakiu]

Thoughts of the Droid: Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

Hello, people from Tumblr! How has life treated you? As always, I hope very well. I recognize that my review is already too late, but I still don't regret anything. After all, there is a saying that says: "Better late than never." And so it is on this occasion that I bring to you my opinions and review of the movie Godzilla: King of Monsters.

This movie has been the sequel to Godzilla, released in 2014 and that served to relaunch the franchise of this mythical monster in North American lands, about sixteen years after the disaster of Godzilla (1998) by Roland Emmerich. After five years of waiting, we have Godzilla: King of the Monsters, being the third movie made by Hollywood. Could it be that this movie does justice to the famous monster? Stay to read my review to find out.

WARNING: NOT SPOILER-FREE. Read at your own risk

Going fully into the review: What did I think of the movie? Short answer: despite its problems, it is a great film that pays tribute to the genus Kaiju Eiga and is entertaining from beginning to end. Now let's go into more details.

Characters: The monster quartet is back with more force than ever. It is a visual delight to witness them in all their colossal glory, showing their powers, their strengths and their abilities to deliver truly memorable monster fights. But we will deepen that later.

As for the human protagonists ... Eh, the truth does not contribute much to the story and they are hardly interesting. Even so, I feel they are a little better developed than the characters seen in the previous movie. For example, we have Dr. Mark Russell, whom in principle we see that he has a very negative opinion of the Titans (named in this movie) since one of his sons died in the San Francisco incident (Godzilla against the MUTOS). Throughout history, we see that he does not change his opinion much and doesn't feel respect for the monsters, but at least he gradually understands the vital importance they represent for the planet Earth.

We also have the character of Dr. Emma Russell, who has a different vision and a little more accurate than the Titans represent: forces of nature. Forces of potentially destructive natures, but also with the ability to create new life through destruction. After all, nature has shown it like this already countless times. Throughout the movie, we see that she is enthusiastic about her crusade, and then regrets the damage she has caused when she woke up and could not control King Ghidorah.

Finally we have the character of Madison Russell, which in my opinion is the one that gets to do more in the story, although her actions are already in the final parts of the film, where she steals the ORCA device to calm the destruction of The Titans and later Godzilla and King Ghidorah face death in a final duel. The characters are uninteresting, but do you know? In a way, they show the terror and bewilderment that our race suffers when forces of nature are presented that we cannot understand.

History: While it has some absurd moments and a family drama that hinders everything, at least it is a story that is solidly laid out so as not to be boring. It is a story that, in my opinion, raises the question whether the human being should use his gifts (science and technology) to collaborate hand in hand with nature and thus save both or use those gifts to control by the hand of iron to nature, which of course, is impossible ... for now.

In this movie, they now show us a more conscious human race of the Titans and their enormous power, now with the inclusion of one skill: the power to regenerate and heal the life of the entire planet. And that reinforces the message a little more that if mankind seeks to live longer, he must use his intellect to compensate for the damage we have done as a species.

There are a couple of scenes in a row that I would like to highlight. The first one is when Dr. Serizawa sacrifices himself, detonating a nuclear bomb, which for Godzilla would be healed. The doctor's sacrifice works so well that he makes Godzilla recover from his wounds. It is a scene very well filmed and carried out, where the doctor is one of the few who understand that the existence of the Titans is necessary and that humanity has no other option without accepting their existence and living with these monumental beings. Something like that man must live with the forces of nature that remind us of every opportunity how fragile we are before it.

After the sacrifice of Dr. Serizawa, we have another spectacular scene where Godzilla resurfaces stronger than ever. It is curious that after that, Godzilla looks at the humans present in the submarine surfaced. Basically, the monster makes a very human gesture, where he reflects his anger and resentment at how they tried to kill him with King Ghidorah in his second confrontation.

If you ask me, the story is more than acceptable, it is a solid and well-constructed story that shows human conflict and monster fights in equal parts.

Visuals and special effects: Simply phenomenal. It is truly a visual delight to see the four Kaijus in all their glory and splendor. I would even dare to say that when they make an approach to some part of their bodies (especially their heads) you can see in great detail the skin, fur or scales. We know de facto that all those monsters (as well as some vehicles) are made in CGI, but they manage quite well to be as real as possible. More than that, the designs are also very loyal to Japanese counterparts. A design that I liked a lot was Rodan, which maintains its pterosaur shape, but now being shaped with rock and fire. Of course, each monster has some differences, but in general, they maintain the shape of each of them, making it clear that they are treating with more respect a creature that is already part of popular culture such as Godzilla.

Action: loaded with adrenaline and extremely overflowing. A common complaint that the 2014 film had was that Godzilla and his rivals, the MUTO’s, had little time on screen and that the action although good, was scarce since the final confrontation was the scene where you saw them fight with everything. Fortunately for this sequel, they heard the complaints and now they give us numerous confrontations and much more moments of action. Besides, we have about three Godzilla clashes against King Ghidorah, each one better than the last. We have that the monsters release true beastly and colossal battles, destroying everything, as well as entire buildings and cities as with mountains. They manifest their powers without shame, which would make them a kind of material gods. Without a doubt, the final battle of Godzilla against King Ghidorah feels exciting, incredible and that you witness the wrath of two powerful monsters. Most notable: when Godzilla awakens his Burning Roar state and thereby eradicates King Ghidorah from the face of the earth. And then, roaring in all its splendor to confirm that he is the king. The action is exciting, never disappoints and feels that it was worth watching the whole movie for that final showdown.

In conclusion, Godzilla: King of the monsters is a film that despite everything, it is worth seeing for its true protagonists: the Kaijus, along with the dressing of great action sequences. A movie in my opinion that was a little beaten unfairly, but that is going to be done. Therefore, I give this movie 3 out of 5 King Ghidorah. A good addition to the franchise of this mythical and legendary monster.

Greetings

Rankakiu

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