Made For the Job
Written for Hermit-a-day-May, day 9: Skizzleman!
Wc: 444
Ao3: Here!
Some people would think it hard, being part of a salmon mafia, the wood collective, and one of the only two members of the Permit Office Enforcement team. Skizz doesn’t think so!
The mafia is just something he does to have some fun and mess with Doc (poisoning that salmon he ate truly was genius from Beef! He tried to be humble saying he didn’t do anything, what a guy!). The wood collective makes just enough sales to get by and he doesn’t have to restock all that often (although restocking when needed…). And well, being a POE POE is still something very new, but the few moments he’s had of running around the server putting notices on people’s shops alongside Scar have been very fun.
Call him a bit vain, but his outfit is probably the best part. Really makes him feel CONFIDENT, man! Truly amped up! Should he grow a mustache? He likes the look of it on his face, even if it’s fake.
No, no, he couldn’t do that. If he did, he’d get confused with Mumbo. They already have the same backs, he can’t go and steal his whole brand!
…Well, minus the redstone. Skizz can’t do redstone. Not that he’s practiced much, but oh, it’s just not his forte. It fascinates him, though. He’s in love with the concept of it and all the contraptions and mechanisms that could, and HAVE, come about from it. Makes sense he’d be close-knit friends with three very talented redstoners: The witch-farmer, the Decked Out master himself, and Zedaph.
Sometimes, he feels a bit like an impostor. Looks at everyone around him and all the great things they’re able to accomplish in such short periods of time and feels a bit inadequate.
But when he looks himself in the mirror now, the short-shorts he wears, his POE POE insignia, his thick mustache, and his perfectly combed hair, he feels the doubt go away. They chose him for this. They brought him in for his social abilities, all the ways that he enriches the server by just interacting with others and his ability to know exactly how to play the part. Beef needed a Mafia associate and he was more than on-board with it from the start. Finding out Doc had most of the wood permits and now Big Salmon had to cooperate with their enemy was perfect and he loves highlighting their enmity for the comedy of it all.
And now, he was chosen to enforce the rules of the shopping district (well, Permit Office. Same thing) alongside Scar.
Grian said he’d chosen the best people for the job, and he was right.
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Telltale Heart valentine
[ID: Animated gif of a pop up card. A man sits at a table with his head in his hand, glaring down at the floorboards. As the card's pull tab is pulled the floorboards open and close reveling a heart underneath. Text above the scene reads "Thinking of You"]
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Scenario: somebody you know casually, but not, like, that well has cheaply obtained some rare article that happens to be related to a special interest of yours. However, they're not sure if it's genuine or a knockoff, and – being aware of your special interest – they reach out to you to confirm its authenticity. The results of examining photos being inconclusive, they insist on showing it to you in person; upon arrival, they point the way to a musty, ill-lit basement where item in question is ostensibly kept.
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