#reassuring to know all of us are avoiding writing our fics

[zelreedsandwrites]

Me, opening Google docs to check if the author (who is me) has updated her fics:

Fics: *are exactly the same as I fucking left them*

Me:

#i actually use the Scrivener app cuz docs on mobile is hell #imodna #imogen x laudna #ao3fic #fanfic #ao3 #last post for now I swear lmao #I’ve literally never had more notifications in my entire life what the fuck is happening #reassuring to know all of us are avoiding writing our fics #…. by being mad about our fics not being written lmaoooo

[scribblesofagoonerr]

Because I can't loose you | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, B- Because I can't loose you

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

Thanks for all the love so far on this fic. It's overwhelming to see the response and thank you to those who reached out.

Also, I’d also like to thank @samkerrworshipper for giving me the courage to actually post these fics and not just keep them in my drafts 🫶🏼

Again, none of it's been proof read as I just wrote whatever came into my head right now so I apologise if it doesn't make sense at all.

Here's pt. 2 of inner demons :)

Is this something that you guys would be interested to read more if I turned it into a small fic series to write about the struggles which a teenager has with the added pressure of a professional football career while she is battling her inner demons.

Waiting in the hospital for you to wake up, it's clear to see how much all of the girls love you and there'll always be there through the ups and downs in your life.

TW: heavy angst and talks of SH, MH, suicide and death.

"God, she looks so tiny in that bed" Alessia was the first one to break the silence for the first time since you had been admitted to the hospital.

"She shouldn't be here-- I mean, she shouldn't be here in this... in the hospital right now" Laura struggles to express her emotions as her face sadens while she looks at your unconcious body attached to all the different wires and monitors.

"I... I'm not used to her like this, she's always laughing and joking around. This is different" Kyra says, the Aussie girl has never known you to be like as she is used to your cheeky and vibrant attitude, not the reserved and broken shell of a girl that you had become once again. "She'll be okay, won't she?" she asks quietly as she looks at the rest of the girls around the room.

"She has to be" Lotte states as she nods her head.

"She has us, she's family and we don't turn our backs on family no matter what" Kim tells them in a determined tone of voice. "Whatever her struggle is, we'll be there for her through it all. She's one of our own" she adds.

The last 24 hours had been harrowing for every single one of the girls on your team.

News had quickly spread round to the rest of the team and as soon as they heard, they all made their way to the hospital to join the rest of the girls.

They were all now sat waiting in your hospital room with anticipation for you to wake up.

"We should have realised sooner" Lia speaks up with a certain quiver in her voice.

"Why hasn't she woke up yet?" Beth was the first to ask the question that all the girls wanted to know the answer too as well but were too scared to ask.

"It will take time" Viv replies as she moves her hand to gently place it on her girlfriends' shoulder and give her a reassuring smile.

"But she should be awake by now, right?" Katies' eyebrow's nit together in confusion as she looks at the rest of the girls for any response. "I... I mean, you know, it's been a good few hours now, hasn't it?" she continues to ask.

"I... I don't get it. She was doing better" Steph swallowed the lump in her throat as she spoke up.

"No, no, she was... She is doing better. This is just a slip up" Katie tries to convince them as she casts a glance to your frail body lay in the hospital bed.

"This isn't just a slip up, Katie. This is different" Jen sighs in disagreement.

"You don't know that, we don't know what has happened or what's been said to cause her to do this" Caitlin states while she shakes her head.

"If she wakes up" Katie mumbles quietly, avoiding the hardened glare from the rest of the girls in the room. "I... I mean, it's been a while, hasn't it? She still doesn't show any sign of coming round any time soon" she tells them to defend herself.

"Jen's right, this is different" Steph turns to her fellow Australian as she bites her bottom lip in realisation. "This isn't just a slip up this time, this is... I think Y/N has been suffering in silence for a while" she tells them.

"Why didn't she tell us? We could have helped her with whatevers' been going on" Beth asks confused.

Nobody could know the answer to that, nobody could realise the inner demons that you were battling inside of your head once more.

The somber silence was quick to turn into intense commotion as all of the girls threw numerous questions around the room.

Did you stop going to your therapy appointments? Yes, they judged you on whatever you said.

Did you stop taking your meds? Yes, they made your brain foggy.

Have you feeling like this for a while and we didn't realise? Yes, you kept it quiet to not be a burden to anyone.

Was it something you saw that triggered it? Yes, your not as strong as people think you are.

There was only one person that hadn't uttered a single word in the whole 24 hours since you were admitted.

Leah, the one person who hadn't left your side the entire time.

The blonde just sat there with, a numb expression plastered on her face and her hand clutched onto your own tightly, afraid to let go.

Her sunken eyes were a enough to certify the blonde hadn't slept at all, instead she fought to keep her eyes open while she kept her eyes focused on your small vulnerable body lay in the hospital bed, where the wires were connected to the monitor that showed the slow, steady rhythm of your heart.

You shouldn't be here, you were doing so much better. You should be on the football field, partaking in the training session ahead of the game.

Why was that not the case?

"Girls, stop. None of these questions are helping right now" It was your Arsenal captain, Kim to speak aloud in her usual stern voice that quickly got the attention of the room.

"Yeah, you're right" Katie exhales a sigh and bites her bottom lip.

"How about we go and get some coffee? The doctors will round soon to check her vitals" Kim suggests to them all, a subtle way to get them all out of the room to take a breather from the tension in there.

"That would be a good idea" Steph agrees with the Scots' women and slowly moves to stand up from her seat in the room.

Most of the girls get the hint and exit the room until it's just Leah, Lia, Beth, Viv and Katie.

"Kims' right, it would be a good idea to stretch our legs" Beth states as she glances at the remaining girls in the hospital room.

"Yeah" Katie is a bit more hesistant to leave you but goes to stand up.

"Leah--" Leah begins to speak to the blonde.

"I'm not leaving her" Leah broke her silence for the first time since you had been admitted, a quiver in her voice that spoke for itself of how run down she was. "I'm... I'm not leaving her, Wally. I have to be here when she wakes up" she adds in.

"That might be a while yet" Viv admits quietly.

"It might be good to get some fresh air, Le" Beth's hesistant to suggest to the blonde incase she snaps at her.

"No" Leah was quick to decline.

"You haven't moved from the chair since you got here, Le" Lia says as shows her concern for the blonde defender.

"No. I'm not... I'm not leaving her" Leah's voice shakes with fear as she continues to stare at you. "I can't leave her" she tells them.

Knowing it wouldn't be any to try and fight her decision, the girls all begin to exit the room slowly as they turn back to look at the blonde with apprehensive looks as if they were hesitant to leave her.

"We'll be back soon, we have our phones on us if you need anything" Viv rests her hand on the blondes' shoulder as she starts to walk out.

As soon as it was just the two of you in the room, Leah let out a shaky breath as she let her vulnerability show.

"You need to wake up, Y/N/N" The blonde cries as she moves to bow her head down on your bed as she still keeps a tight hold of your hand. "Please, Y/N. Wake up, I can't... I need you to be okay" she continues to sob freely.

The noise of the monitors was soon drowned out by the loud wails' of the blonde, her whole body trembles as tears continue to spill down her cheeks.

She couldn't lose you, you were more than just her team mate to her.

You were her family, whether it was flesh of blood or not.

You were a part of her life, she couldn't watch you die.

#arsenal x reader #woso x reader #arsenal women x reader #leah williamson #woso #woso imagine #woso fanfics #heavy angst #leah williamson x reader #arsenal wfc x reader

[weirdkpopgirl]

Friends Who Kiss | Chenle Fic #1

Title: Friends Who Kiss

Genre: Best friends to lovers, high school/college au

Warnings: mentions of the reader being insecure and having a mental breakdown at some point. a little suggestive, but not really

Word Count: ~ 5.6k

Author's Note: Okay to be very honest, I think that this story is kinda stupid and cliché. But it was an idea that I still wanted to try writing. And this is my first full-length fic for Chenle too, so I'm happy to post something for him. So to those who like cheesy romance stories, I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for reading ^ ^

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Since the start of high school, Zhong Chenle has been a consistent part of your life. He arrived as a transfer student from Shanghai, while you were the reserved kid who often used studying as an excuse to avoid social interaction. So rather than you reaching out to him first, it was he who practically claimed you as his best friend. Your personalities were a striking contrast, but it proved to be the perfect balance. It didn't take long for the two of you to become inseparable.

However, your friendship took a turn in eleventh grade. You guys had gone to your house after school to do homework. Except it was mostly you working on assignments, while Chenle was animatedly ranting about some mobile game Jisung was terrible at playing.

“It’s unbelievable! Every time I check his character gets killed,” Chenle laughed, and you responded with a soft hum of acknowledgment.

The boy glanced up from his phone to find you engrossed in your textbooks. While your attention was focused on writing an essay, you were also trying to keep your mind from drifting to the unsettling conversation you had during lunch that day. Typically, you and Chenle sat together with his friends. But Jisung needed the boy’s help stalking his crush, so you found yourself sitting with some of the girls in your class. 

Sensing the inner conflict brewing in your mind, Chenle rose from the bed and leaned over your shoulder. 

“You've been at this since we got here. How is your brain not fried?” he asked, blunt as usual.

You shot the boy with an unappreciative glare. “It is fried. But our essay is due on Monday, and I still have to help you with yours.”

Chenle sighed, well aware of your enduring determination. Ever since he met you, he couldn’t understand why you stressed so much over assignments, especially when you always completed them before the due date. Then you somehow managed to go out of your way to ensure he was doing the same.

“You’re more than halfway finished, and I’ll get to mine on my own time,” He reassured, “Why don’t you take a break for now?”

Before you could protest, Chenle swiftly pulled you out of your chair and guided you to sit on the bed with him. Worry clouded his gaze. “Something’s troubling you, isn’t it?”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, hating how Chenle knew you so well. He didn’t have a problem sharing what was on his mind, while you were the exact opposite. Yet, even a single look at you was enough for him to detect something was off.

“The girls at lunch were going on about their dating experiences and stuff,” you began to explain, your tone tinged with irritation at the memory. “They were all so surprised when I said I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

You pushed yourself to meet Chenle's gaze, half dreading that he might burst into laughter. Instead, his expression held a hint of amusement, and that alone made you regret bringing up the topic.

Before he could respond, you hurriedly attempted to backtrack on your words. “It's stupid, I know—”

“It’s not stupid if it’s making you upset,” Chenle said firmly.

Leaning back in your seat, you let out an exasperated sigh. “I just can’t get their judgmental looks out of my head. All because I don’t have much experience with dating?”

Chenle's expression softened as he confessed, "There's nothing wrong with that, and there’s a lot of people like you. I haven't had my first kiss either."

“Really?!” You stared at him in disbelief. “Didn't you date Ko Mi-so though?”

Chenle scoffed, appearing slightly offended. “Okay, that happened such a long time ago. And we didn't even last a month, so we never kissed.”

Now that you thought about it, he was right about their relationship ending almost as quickly as it began. You recalled the time back in tenth grade when Chenle was quite smug about dating Mi-so, who happened to be the prettiest girl in class. Frankly, you were somewhat relieved when they broke up, given that she didn't particularly like you. Chenle hasn’t dated anyone since.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” your voice trailed off. 

The boy stayed silent for a moment before an idea dawned on him. “You know what? Why don’t we have our first kiss now?”

Your cheeks felt like they were competing for a world record in how quickly they heated up at Chenle's proposal. He couldn't possibly be serious.

“Did I hear you right?” you stammered, thoroughly taken aback by the suggestion.

Chenle nodded confidently, “I mean, we're best friends, so it's not that weird. And it's better than kissing someone we don't know as well or not have a connection with.”

You could kind of see his point. Having Chenle as your first kiss did seem much safer than kissing some random guy. Besides, it wasn’t like either of you had any underlying feelings for each other. This would solely be for practice.

“Alright,” you reluctantly agreed, “But you have to promise not to make fun of me if I turn out to be a bad kisser."

Chenle chuckled and nodded. He inched closer to you on the bed, leaving little space between the two of you. Although he saw you every day, having your face this near made a faint blush tinge his cheeks.

He started to lean in more before pausing. "Um, maybe you should close your eyes."

"Oh—right," you mumbled awkwardly, then took a deep breath before allowing your eyelids to shut.

He had to suppress a chuckle, finding you kinda cute in that moment. Before you had a chance to second-guess yourself, Chenle pressed his lips against yours in a tender kiss. Shortly after, he drew back, searching for your reaction.

“So, how was that?” He asked, voice laced with teasing.

You stared at him incredulously for a moment before realizing he was waiting for you to answer. “I suppose it was okay,” you mumbled.

Chenle tilted his head with an amused grin. “Just okay?”

“Yeah, I guess I didn't feel much because we're not really into each other like that,” you admitted with a nonchalant shrug.

Okay, you might have partially lied about not feeling much during the kiss. Truth be told, there was this strange, fluttery sensation in your chest when your best friend's lips grazed yours. But perhaps all first kisses were like that, and you were simply overthinking it.

The boy beside you let out a hearty laugh. “Well at least we got that over with.”

You had to muster all your self-control not to blush when he followed up with, “And you're not a bad kisser, by the way.”

Believing that the experiment was over, the two of you returned to your previous tasks. Nothing changed much after that day in your bedroom, as you and Chenle remained best friends. But little did you realize that this wouldn't be the last kiss you'd be sharing with him. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Despite your previous attempts to justify it, the second kiss you shared with Chenle happened partially because of you. As your senior year of high school unfolded, Chenle prepared for his performance at the spring festival. It was you who initially urged him to participate in the talent show. The countless times you had witnessed his piano playing and singing during your private moments together convinced you that he should share his talents with the world. Your compliments not only fueled Chenle’s ego but also prompted him to eagerly jot his name down on the sign-up sheet.

However, what you didn’t expect was to find him backstage, looking as pale as a ghost. He was supposed to go after a group of girls who were dancing to Red Velvet’s “Red Flavor.” With the intention of cheering him on in person, you spotted the dark-haired boy sitting on a chair, anxiously bouncing his legs.

“Last-minute jitters?" you asked softly.

Chenle glanced up at you and crossed his arms in a nonchalant manner. “What, me? I'm fine,” he replied, though his tone lacked conviction.

Just as Chenle knew you like the back of his hand, you were among the few who could read him. While he was partially correct about never being nervous, it didn't take an idiot to perceive that he was in that moment. It was evident he was trying to play it off to uphold his confident image. 

One aspect that troubled you about Chenle was his constant facade of cheerfulness and carefree demeanor. No one could genuinely be happy all the time, and he was the kind of person who concealed his negative feelings when around others.

After deliberating on how to address the situation, you gently rested your hand on his shoulder, bringing yourself to eye level with him.

“Hey, you’re going to be amazing out there,” you reassured him. “I’ve seen how many hours you put into practicing that song. You have nothing to worry about.”

Chenle let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, you're right.”

The smile he bestowed upon you didn't quite convince you. Biting your lip in hesitation, you glanced around to ensure no one else was nearby. Once you were sure that you were alone, you leaned down and gently planted a kiss on the boy’s forehead. Chenle’s eyes widened in surprise at your actions.

“What was that for?”

Blushing, you took a step back and stammered, “Just for good luck, you know. I—I’ll be right there in the crowd, watching you. So if you feel nervous on stage, just look at me.”

A more reassured smile spread across Chenle’s lips and before he stood up to swiftly peck you on the lips, leaving you more stunned than he was a few seconds ago.

“There, I definitely feel more ready now,” he declared with a teasing glint. And the smug Chenle you were familiar with had returned.

As Chenle’s playfulness lingered in the air, the sound of the audience clapping erupted for the girls, putting an end to your “moment.” With a knowing look, you both parted ways, allowing Chenle to step into the spotlight for his performance.

As he took the stage, you found a spot in the crowd, eyes fixed on him with awe. The rhythm of the applause filled the air, drowning out any lingering thoughts. In that moment, the stage became his world, and you couldn't help but be swept away by the magic of his talent. The earlier exchange faded into the background as you watched Chenle shine, each note and melody weaving a captivating spell that left you in admiration.

Neither of you mentioned the kiss after that day. The interaction remained more platonic than anything, a gesture that was only meant to show your support for him. But Chenle still liked to think he killed the stage because of it.

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Chenle was undeniably responsible for the next time the two of you kissed. However, this particular incident didn't unfold until the first semester of your freshman year in college. The joy of discovering you both had been accepted into the same university was palpable, though Chenle appeared to be more exuberant about the news. In contrast, you felt a sense of relief, grateful that you wouldn't be venturing into the world of college alone.

In one of your classes, a sunbae began to show interest in you. Despite your attempts to politely reject him, it became apparent that he wasn't willing to accept no for an answer. 

One day after class, he cornered you in the hallway, insisting that you go out with him. As you tried to maintain your composure, he grabbed you by the wrist when you tried to walk away. The harsh move triggered internal panic within you.

You could sense the danger in his tone as his head tilted cockily. “Come on, (Y/n), don’t be so difficult. I know you’re just playing hard to get.”

“I—I’m sorry but I just don’t feel the same as you, Sunbae,” you stuttered, trying to be assertive. “Please let go.”

Refusing to relent, the sunbae was on the verge of pulling you in closer when another hand intervened, forcefully ripping you out of his grasp. Your head turned in astonishment to see Chenle casting a disgusted look at the guy in front of you. The flames in Chenle’s eyes made you realize that you had never seen him so livid before.

“She said to let go of her. What part of that do you not understand?” Chenle’s voice cut through the tension.

The sunbae scoffed and crossed his arms in defense, “Yah, who are you to involve yourself in someone else’s matters? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

You watched as the corner of Chenle’s lips turned into a smirk as he snaked an arm around your waist in a protective gesture. 

“That’s right. So who are you to go after another man’s girlfriend?” he retorted confidently. Your eyes widened, almost surprised as the jerk in front of you.

Shaking his head in a mix of disbelief and embarrassment, the sunbae pointed a finger at you. “This is a joke, right? You just asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend to mess with me!”

Before you could respond, Chenle took matters into his own hands. His free hand briskly moved to the back of your neck, drawing you in for a passionate kiss. In a typical situation, your best friend's impulsive actions might have freaked you out immediately. However, the way his fingers delicately pressed against your back reassured you that he was doing this for your sake, Closing your eyes, you kissed back and tried to reciprocate with the same passion Chenle was pouring.

Moments later, Chenle pulled away and turned to the sunbae, wearing a satisfied grin on his face. “Do you believe her now? Not that she has to prove anything to you.”

The older male muttered begrudgingly under his breath, “Whatever, not worth my time.”

With a scowl, he stormed off, leaving behind a palpable sense of relief in the wake of his departure. Once he was gone, you removed yourself from Chenle's hold and shot him a look of confusion.

“You know you didn’t have to do that right?” 

Chenle chuckled, “Well, someone had to put an end to his nonsense. Besides, I've always wanted to play the protective boyfriend card.”

“Protective boyfriend? You almost gave me a heart attack!” You smacked him on the shoulder.

Chenle’s smirk remained, but he adopted a more concerned tone. “But seriously, (Y/n), why didn’t you tell me he was bothering you earlier?”

“I thought I could handle things on my own.” You shrugged weakly, lowering your head in guilt.

Chenle sighed, recognizing your aversion to depending on others for your problems. Throughout the time he’d known you, he'd witnessed your willingness to go to great lengths to help those you cared about. However, when it came to your own struggles, you seemed to prefer suffering in silence.

“We’re best friends for a reason,” he reminded you, “Looking after each other is 50/50, you know?”

You offered him a small smile, “I guess you’re right. Thanks for saving me today.”

“Well, you can thank me by buying food tonight,” Chenle said, the playful glint returning to his eyes. “It’s your turn anyway.”

Rolling your eyes, you let him lead you out of the building. But Chenle’s words from earlier lingered in the back of your mind. “We’re best friends for a reason.” 

The two of you were the epitome of what best friends were. And that was all the two of you would ever be, right?

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At this point, you were beginning to lose count of the number of times you’ve kissed your best friend. Despite this, your friendship maintained its familiar rhythm throughout the university. But after that hallway encounter, the awkwardness that came with kissing your best friend faded. Although it was more of Chenle seeming unfazed, and you becoming less surprised each time it happened. And indeed, there were a few more instances that caused your lips to meet.

Like the time Chenle excitedly dragged you to his dorm to watch a Golden State Warriors game, and, in the heat of the moment, he gave you a quick kiss before cheering some more. Then there was the other time when you both went out for drinks with friends, a few drunken kisses were shared.

There weren't any real feelings attached to the kisses you and Chenle shared. At least, that was what you repeatedly told yourself. However, as you were halfway through your first year of university, you finally started to question the true nature of your friendship with Zhong Chenle.

Those thoughts began to sink in just before your first finals in college. Isolated in your dorm room, you immersed yourself in studying for a math exam scheduled in three days. Calls and texts from friends went largely ignored as you turned off your phone in an attempt to focus. However, Chenle wasn't about to let that slide. 

One night, he let himself into your dorm, carrying a bag of your favorite takeout—knowing well that you tended to skip meals when stressed. You could see the determination in his face, ready to scold you. But the expression quickly transitioned to one of concern when he caught you on the verge of a breakdown. 

You sat at your desk surrounded by textbooks and notebooks filled with scribbled equations. The sight of your trembling body and slightly tousled hair, a result of pulling on it too hard, tugged at Chenle’s heart. He was well aware of how your anxiety affected you at times. But he had never witnessed it manifest quite like this.

Instantly, the bag was placed on the floor, and he was at your side. “(Y/n), what's wrong?" 

“I—I'm going to fail my calc final,” you swallowed, your fingers curling into fists. Your shoulders slumped, and the weight of despair was evident in the way you hunched over the desk.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, attempting to calm you down. “You still have a few weeks before finals, (Y/n). And you’re not going to fail.”

“Yes, I am!” you cut him off, your voice strained. Tears welled up in your eyes, and your hands clenched even tighter. “I’ve been studying for days, and my dumb brain still doesn't understand anything. Do you know how stupid I feel?”

“Being bad at math doesn’t make you stupid, (Y/n),” Chenle said, trying to inject a bit of lightheartedness into the situation. However, his comment didn’t seem to offer you any comfort.

You shook your head miserably in response. “Stop trying to be nice. I'm going to fail, and then I’ll end up letting down my parents and everyone else.”

Chenle’s heart ached at the defeat in your voice. Setting his jokes aside, he recognized that words weren’t what you needed at the moment. Instead, he enveloped you in a warm embrace. You hesitated only briefly before surrendering to his comforting hold, attempting to fight back tears.

“Just let it out,” he whispered.

Those simple words acted as an emotional release trigger, and Chenle found himself gently rubbing your back as you quietly cried into his shoulder. A sense of mixed emotions flooded him as he held you in that moment. A part of him felt a twinge of relief, grateful that you let him be there for you. You often kept your emotions bottled up, making it a challenge for him to discern how you truly felt at times. 

However, there was a pang of sadness accompanying that satisfaction. He knew you didn't just cry in front of anyone, and realizing that you had reached this breaking point signaled the depth of your struggle.

After a while, Chenle gently pulled back, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You need a break, (Y/n). Let’s step away from the desk for a bit.”

"No, I really should—" you began to protest, but Chenle cut you off.

"You really should eat the food I brought you before it gets cold," he insisted, picking up the bag again.

He led you to sit on the carpet of your cramped dorm room, creating a makeshift dining space for the two of you. As you both shared a meal, Chenle continued to provide a comforting presence, occasionally cracking a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

As the night wore on, the exhaustion in your eyes became more prominent. Even so, you knew you should go back to studying. But Chenle seemed to disagree.

“Maybe you should just rest for the night. I promise to help you with math in the morning,” he suggested. However, upon seeing the unconvinced look you gave him, he backtracked on his words. “Okay, I'll have Renjun help you.”

Too tired to argue, you gave in, and that's how you found yourself lying in bed with your best friend. Back in high school, you used to have sleepovers at his house on the weekends. At night, the two of you would be lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and talking about anything. However, having him beside you at that moment felt strange. 

You saw a sincere tenderness reflected in those large eyes of his. A part of you wondered if Chenle often gazed at you with such fondness and you simply hadn’t noticed before. Either way, the way he was looking at you made you feel even stranger. And the short silence that had settled between the two of you wasn’t helping.

Uncertain of how much longer you could endure the intensity, you broke eye contact with him and murmured, “Thank you for always being there for me, even when I try to push you away”

Chenle chuckled, adjusting his position to prop himself up on his elbow. “Well, of course, because how could you live without me?”

His ability to joke at a time like this struck you as unfathomable. Instead of the usual eye roll or pushing off the bed, a serious expression remained etched on your face. 

“You're right, I don't think I can live without you,” you said, your voice laced with drowsiness. “Because you’re one of the few people who truly care about me.”

The amusement in his eyes danced away, as he felt the gravity of your words. Something about seeing this vulnerable side of you was so beautiful in his eyes. Before he could fully process his own thoughts, Chenle found himself leaning in to close the space between you with his lips meeting your own.

Uncertain whether it was the leftover stress from your meltdown or the sleep deprivation that prompted you to kiss back without much thought. You could recall all the times you’ve kissed Chenle throughout the years. But this one would always stand out to you.

This kiss lasted a lot longer than your previous ones. But it wasn’t just the way he tilted your chin upward for a better angle, or the feeling of his dark locks of hair slipping between your fingers. Nor was it the soft pressure of his lips moving in sync with yours. It was the indescribable emotions that made time seem to stand still, weaving an unspoken connection that surpassed words and left you yearning for more.

Aside from pulling away, both of you gasping for breath, and noticing how Chenle's lips were redder than you had ever seen them, you vaguely recalled what happened after the kiss. When you woke up the next morning, Chenle was already gone. However, he had left you a text message, mentioning that he went to check if Renjun could help tutor you in math.

But math was no longer the sole stressor in your mind. Your best friend had kissed you last night, and unlike all the other times, this one left you feeling more confused than ever. 

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True to his word, Renjun offered to meet up with you that Sunday afternoon at the campus library. Within an hour of sitting down to unravel the calculus concept that eluded you, Renjun finally helped you grasp the material. Although the looming fear of failing finals had diminished, you still felt a weight on your shoulders.

“You don’t seem as relieved as I thought you’d be,” Renjun remarked lightheartedly. Even he could tell your mind was preoccupied with something else.

You smiled sheepishly, “No, I am! I seriously owe you for helping me out. I just…”

“Is it something to do with Chenle?” he asked, almost like he was a mind reader.

His unexpected question caught you off guard. “How did you know?” you stammered, feeling the heat quickly rise to your cheeks.

A knowing smile played on the boy’s lips as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh come on, (Y/n). You have that look on your face that something happened between the two of you.”

Sometimes you seriously wished Renjun wasn’t so good at reading people. Even though you weren’t as close to him as Chenle was, he’s known you long enough to notice things that others wouldn’t. For instance, when something was troubling you.

Biting your lip, you debated whether to be truthful with Renjun. Although you didn't typically share your problems with others, you recognized that confiding in someone at a time like this was necessary to maintain your sanity.

“Chenle kissed me last night,” you tossed the statement out in the air, hoping you wouldn’t regret it.

Renjun’s eyes widened at this revelation, “He did?!”

“Well you see, we’ve kissed before. But this time it felt different,” you clarified, baffling the boy across from you even more. Internally cringing, you were acutely aware of how bad this sounded.

Before he could question, you continued to elaborate. “Look, it's not as complicated as it sounds. It’s just ever since we agreed to be each other’s first kiss, Chenle and I just keep having these…accidental kisses. Whether it’s out of excitement or to get guys hitting on me to go away.”

Renjun listened quietly as you recounted all the other times you’ve kissed Chenle. When you circled back to the previous night, you felt more conflicted than ever.

“But the kiss last night left me feeling so confused,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair. “Initially, I thought he was just doing it out of comfort, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Well, have you considered the possibility that he has feelings for you?” Renjun inquired, crossing his arms. His suggestion sounded so simple, yet it felt like navigating uncharted territory in your mind.

You shook your head in denial. “N—No, I mean we’ve been best friends for five years. He can’t possibly see me that way.”

“Like that’s ever stopped friends from falling for each other,” Renjun cocked his head. “It doesn’t take a genius to know that he likes you, (Y/n).”

His point made you mentally curse. If you looked at your history with Chenle from an objective point of view, the two of you certainly didn’t act like normal best friends.

“And, it’s pretty obvious that you like him too,” Renjun added, twirling the pencil between his fingers.

His statement left you feeling exposed, as if you had been caught red-handed committing a crime. Laughing nervously, you shook your head, “Renjun, we’re just friends. I…I don’t see him that way.”

Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Friends who kiss? Did you really not feel anything in those moments?”

Your teeth sank further into your lower lip as Renjun’s question hit you. The reality of your feelings for Chenle lingered in the air, challenging the facade you had built to convince yourself otherwise. It was like trying to hold sand in your fists, slipping away no matter how tightly you clenched. The truth, however inconvenient, seemed to be unraveling before you.

“I…I did feel something,” you slowly admitted, “But I never said anything because I didn’t want our friendship to change. It just seemed easier to pretend those moments were nothing more than accidents.”

Renjun’s eyes softened with understanding. “Well maybe a little change is what you need in your friendship.”

Maybe Renjun was onto something, perhaps change was necessary. In the past, you had always held out on dating, using the excuse that you were waiting for the right person. Despite the fear of potential rejection, what if Chenle was the person you had been waiting for all along?

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Chenle’s living room bathed in the gentle glow of the TV screen, a familiar sight during your Friday movie nights since college began. It was supposed to be a time to unwind, to escape the pressures of school for a little while. However, instead of the usual peaceful and easygoing atmosphere, an unspoken tension hung in the air tonight. Beyond picking a movie and deciding who made the popcorn, you and Chenle barely talked. The weight of the unspoken words made the space feel suffocating, and you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in your chest.

Unable to endure the weighty silence any longer, you turned your head to make a lame comment about the movie. However, before you could speak, Chenle beat you to it.

“Can we talk?” His voice carried a hint of restlessness, an unusual departure from his usual tone.

Trying to maintain a casual demeanor, you lightly nodded. With your acknowledgment, Chenle exhaled deeply and sat up straighter to face you properly.

“I know how crazy this might sound,” he started, running a hand through his hair. “But I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think we can stay friends.”

His words felt like a gun being pointed at your chest, panic surged within you as you tried to process the boy’s words. Of all the ways you predicted this conversation could go, this was not one of them.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice even smaller than his.

Noticing the perplexity in your eyes, Chenle continued. “You see, I've been in love with you for—I don’t know how long. But I spent all these years burying my feelings like a fool, because I never thought you’d see me that way. Yet, every time we kiss, it becomes harder for me to ignore my feelings for you.”

Chenle glanced down at his folded hands, vulnerability seeping into those brown orbs of his. “The other night made me realize that I don’t want to just be friends who kiss anymore. I want to be something more to you.”

His words lingered in the air now that they were out in the open. Your heart raced faster than it ever has before, as your cheeks flushed with heat. Chenle’s eyes bore into yours, his expression nervous yet hopeful. 

For a moment, you were left speechless. But you still had the sense to hit him on the shoulder, scolding, “Oh my gosh, you can’t start a conversation like that, Chenle. You scared me!”

The boy chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. But seriously, (Y/n), I meant what I said.”

A mix of emotions played on your face before you quietly admitted, “Honestly, I’ve wanted to be something more to you since that day we kissed in my bedroom.”

You noticed a smile of relief beginning to form on his lips, but you held up a finger before he could say anything. Now that he had taken the first step, you decided it was time for you to do the same.

“But I kept trying to convince myself that all the times we kissed were accidental or just for comfort,” you confessed, looking directly into his eyes. “And the reason I’ve been pushing away my feelings for you was because I was afraid of losing a friend who means the world to me.”

His hand rested on top of yours, the light touch sending a shiver down your spine. “You don’t have to be afraid because you’ll never lose me, (Y/n).”

The softness and sincerity in his eyes made you want to cry for some inexplicable reason. You once believed that confessing your feelings for Chenle would only lead to frustration and heartbreak. However, as you sat here with him, holding his hand, those worries seemed to vanish.

“So…what do we do now?” you asked, unsure of what was supposed to come next in these situations.

A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he grinned. “I think this is the part where we kiss. But you know, as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Just as you were processing his words, he moved closer, his breath warm against your skin, making your heart flutter. His eyes searched yours for permission. 

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” you whispered.

With that, the distance between you closed, and your lips met in a tender kiss. It was a sweet surrender, a culmination of years of friendship and suppressed feelings. Although this wasn’t your first kiss with Chenle, it felt that way in a sense. For you could finally savor the tender feeling of his lips without questioning the intention behind it.

In that moment, all you focused on was the way Chenle had his hand on the small of your back, guiding you closer as he deepened the kiss. Your fingers found their way to rest on the nape of his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin. 

Although the change in this dynamic had just begun, this newfound connection promised countless moments of shared laughter, whispered confessions, and the sweet warmth of shared kisses. You had a feeling that you could easily get used to this beautiful new normal. By the way Chenle smiled during the kiss, you could tell he felt the same way.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

#nct dream #kpop #nctzen #czennie #nct dream imagines #chenle imagine #chenle fic #nct dream fic #chenle x reader #zhong chenle #nct scenarios #kpop fic #nct dream x reader #chenle #chenle scenarios

[fandomshatepeoplewdisabilities]

So in this amazing, sadly quite niche space opera I recently read ("The Risen Empire" by Scott Westerfeld) there are two, three if you stretch the definition a bit, disabled characters, and I want to draw art and write fic of them, maybe even nsfw stuff of both categories.

Problem is, while I am neurodivergent, I am able-bodied, and one of these characters is Laurent Zai, Captain of a spaceship, tactical genius, and lost both legs and one arm in an intensely traumatic war captivity. While yeah, thanks to the high-tech in this future his prostheses can do things real life prostheses can't do, like sending tactile information back to his brain, as far as I can tell this book avoids most of the usual pitfalls when writing amputees: They do not fully replace his limbs, there are situations where they malfunction or do not work just quite as well as his original limbs or do not work at all, they need to be carefully maintained and they have weak spots. Most of the time Zai deals with them just fine, but from time to time they are different than what he knew, and it is bothering him, and giving him body dysmorphia, and he also does deal with phantom pain.

There is a beautiful and touching and tender and sensual scene where he finally confesses his trauma to his lover, and she reassures him that it's okay when he is "broken" and lets the trauma affect him, and he lets her take off his prostheses, and they have sex. Its not described particularly detailed, but it is a beautiful scene where he finally stops fighting against his trauma and is finally able to see his body as a source of joy and pleasure again, not just a tool he uses or a source of pain.

I am specifically thinking about making fanworks about that scene, but I don't want to fall into this "fetishizing amputees" trap, like the disgusting ableist "art" I once accidentally stumbled across online.

What are some things I have to look out for, apart from the obvious not depicting him as helplessly at mercy and powerless against his lover because he could not move away or fight back as well as her if it was necessary? Both small practical things like how one moves in such a situation that might not be apparent to me as an able bodied person, and more general things?

So I had a really hard time tracking down The Risen Empire by Scott Westerfeld. (It wasn't available through hoopla or libby at my local library). I might ask mod laina if they have some piratical hookups for it. But like I do want to boost this for our followers to weigh in on (or hey if you know any amputees that might be up for explaining a few things for us I'd also be grateful).

In the mean time I'll do my own digging and hope I can read the source material soon.

Please please boost this followers!

mod ali

#scott westerfeld #the risen empire #amputees #disabled #writing resources #disabled characters #disability aids #writing help

[dreamtinblackandwhite]

Hi lovey. I saw u post writing prompt and ur free to take this as an idea or a request but can we have "You mumble in your sleep, you know, it's quite fascinating." for robert pattinson’s role as monte from high life or bruce wayne if u’d prefer? there hasn’t been any fics of his role as daddy monte its criminal 😢

how have I never noticed there is nothing for Monte! well, now there's a little something :) thank you SO MUCH for reaching out!

Our Daughter

pairings: Robert Pattinson!Monte x Mom!Reader

background, in case you have seen or heard of High Life: Monte (Robert Pattinson's character) is among a group of criminals who depart on a space mission to collect scientific data. There is a doctor onboard (Dibs) who is obsessed with using the men on the ship to get the woman pregnant. However, every baby (and eventually every adult) die from radiation poisoning, leaving only Monte and the baby Dibs created from his sample (Willow) alone. Basically the entire ship is sex crazed except for Monte - it's a crazy movie, y'all.

Warnings: fluff, a few swear words, little bit of angst, mention of implied sexual encounters, mention of drug use, like two sentences of implied nudity, pretty sure that is all!

word count: 2430

You sat in the main operation room watching Monte’s viewpoint while he worked to repair a damaged hull section. Willow babbled in your lap, tugging at your hair occasionally. “Dada!” She giggled over and over again with the goofiest grin while watching the images in front of her.

“That’s dada!” You agreed, laughing softly as you bounced the baby on your knee.

“Hi Willow,” Monte sang through the speakers between his soft grunts as he worked. “Alright, all quiet,” he grumbled softly as he started to do the more precise work. You turned Willow from the screen and started to make silly faces at her, trying to get her to just giggle instead of call her for her dad.

It worked… sort-of. She giggled at you, but continued babbling ‘dada’ over and over again. Hearing Monte chuckle warmed your heart; you couldn’t deny how happy he seemed to be a dad, even considering the pending death they were facing. “I’m here, honey,” he reassured in a soft voice as Willow continued to babble for him.

“I knew I should have pushed ‘mama’ harder,” you joked in a quiet voice, scrunching your nose at the small child in front of you. Monte said nothing, he often avoided talking about Willow’s parentage – even though you were both subjected to similar experiments by Dibs. You knew it was because you weren’t really Willow’s mother. No, you were never one of Dibs ‘successes’ and each child you bore for her died from the radiation.

You barely registered Monte’s calm voice trying to calm the babbling baby while you were distracted by thoughts of what you lived through just months ago. It wasn’t until Willow was suddenly screaming and flailing in your arms that you were pulled back to the present. “Shit,” you mumbled, standing up and gently rocking Willow in your arms trying to shush her.

“Ah,” Monte winced sharply at the high-pitched sound that probably could have blown his ear drum through the mic in his suit. “Damnit, Y/N,” he groaned as he flinched back and hit a wrench off the edge of the station, watching as it floated away towards nothingness.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed as Willow finally settled in your arms after you distracted her with the makeshift doll she loved. Monte simply grunted in response before collecting the repair kit back together and making his way inside.

You and Monte didn’t speak much, there wasn’t much of a need anymore. You simply co-existed for Willow, she was your only connection. It was easy to adopt the routine Dibs laid out for the crew into this strange new life of just three. Every day was the same array of chores, passing Willow back and forth depending on who was working on what.

You made sure to always eat together; breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was something Monte had insisted upon when you finally accepted that the radiation would not bring the last three of death. This surprised you, but you didn’t argue it. You’d sit in silence, taking turns feeding Willow, and trying to enjoy her youth in this steel, grey life you were stuck in.

Today was no different, now that Monte was done with his repairs and he’d sent the system required message back to Earth so our water would run (even though it would be hundreds of years before anyone would hear it). He walked into the main operation room and swiftly pulled Willow from your arms, ignoring your pained sigh as he did.

“We’re going to dump the bodies,” he informed, looking at you hesitantly.

“That’s probably a good idea, best to shut off any system that we don’t need…” you trailed off, picking up the clutter of garbage that Willow would grow up to think are toys. The images from Earth clicked through on the screen, catching both of your attention for a few silent seconds.

“Do you regret coming?” Monte whispered slightly, as if he was afraid of your answer.

You shook your head, running a nervous hand through your hair. “I wouldn’t call it regret – I would have died if I stayed on Earth.” You tossed some of the objects into the makeshift play area at the center of the room, “but, who knows, maybe that would have been better than this.”

“I read your file,” he admitted next. You nodded, this didn’t surprise you – if Dibs had left the command chip to you, you would have read his.

“I know,” you replied with a shrug. Monte knelt down and let Willow support her weight with only three of his fingers as she tried to stumble walk towards you. You knelt to the same level and held your hand out to encourage her.

“You didn’t deserve to come here – everyone else; murders, rapists, sex-traffickers…” he avoided your eyes and focused on Willow trying to stumble back towards him now.

“It kept me clean,” you defended the decision you made a lifetime ago to come here. “I tried so many times back on Earth, but I’d always end up with the same people and I’d always end up half-dead in rehab.” You hugged Willow close to my chest as she exploded into a giggling mess after falling into your arms; she quickly recovered and turned to stumble back towards Monte – this was her favorite game, and Monte and you could do it for hours on end.

Monte’s eyes jumped between your face and Willow’s, trying to decide if he wanted to open up to you finally about himself and his own past that brought him to this station. “Come to dada, honey!” He encouraged, smiling at Willow now. She stumbled towards him and took his fingers before fidgeting to look at you again.

“M…” she started, your eyes went wide as you held your hand out to her. Monte froze looking down at his daughter. “Mmmaaahh mmmah!” She squealed, stumbling towards you. You laughed and engulfed her in a hug, tears stinging in your eyes; had she just tried to say mama for the first time?

“I should tend to the fields,” Monte quickly mumbled as he stood up, feeling his heart drop into his stomach.

“Monte,” you breathed, standing up with her. “I’m raising her too.” He kept his back towards you, only tossing a dismissive glance over his shoulder. You could see the troubled and pained look on his face and wished to know why this hurt him so much – wasn’t it better that you were here? Would he have preferred you died with the rest?

“You aren’t her mother,” his voice was barely above a whisper. He couldn’t will it any louder without risking painful cracks in his throat seeping through.

Monte prepared the same dry mixture of potatoes and nutritional powder from the ration closet for the three of you to eat for dinner. He knocked on the wall outside of the living quarters where you and Willow had floated to and you were telling her a story. “Dinner bell,” he grunted as you looked up at him from the stiff mattress.

He didn’t wait for you to prompt him in and moved to sit next to you, handing you a bowl. You silently ate your food, taking turns feeding Willow small spoonful’s. “You weren’t the only one who went through hell for Willow to be here,” you whispered, tears stinging at your eyes again. “I know you hate me; I know I will never be Boyse; I know you wish I died with the rest of them. But you need to accept that I love Willow just as much as you do.”

“I don’t hate you,” Monte’s head snapped to you with a pained look in his eyes. “It’s the opposite, don’t you see? I’m so happy you’re here; I would hate to be doing this alone.” He squished a potato cube against the side of his bowl and gently scooped the mash into Willow’s waiting mouth. “Someday, Willow will you need you more than me – that’s what hurts so much.”

“She won’t, Monte, she will always need you. Take it for a daddy’s girl myself – you never stop needing your dad,” you frown, looking at the food in your bowl and feeling like you could throw up at any point from the blandness.

“If we aren’t all dead by then,” Monte joked, a small grin on his face. You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling lighter at the sight of his small smile. You leaned your head on his shoulder while releasing a deep breath. “Sometimes I wish you were her mother,” he whispered his confession into your hair; you swear you felt his lips brush against you as if he were kissing your head. You knew it was a confession meant to remain unacknowledged so you said nothing - though you felt the same no matter how guilty that made you.

You continued to eat silently, both of you finally allowing the familiar comfort of company to wrap around this strange family of three. Monte eventually took Willow to do a medical check up while you readied the room for sleep. You tried to ignore the feeling in your chest. You had worked so hard over the past 8 months to stomp down those feelings that had appeared just from being alone with Monte; and now, after his admission that he was happy you were here (no matter how stubborn he still seemed) those feelings were raging forward fast.

“You watch her while I dump the bodies?” Monte asked as he came back into the room. You gasped slightly and covered yourself with your arms, the clothes you were changing into sprawled across the mattress in front of you. “Please, nothing I haven’t seen before,” Monte chuckled dryly.

“That was when we were being pumped full of aphrodisiac’s and sedatives all day long,” you rolled your eyes at him. “This time, I’m stone cold sober, Daddy Monte. Turn around,” your ordered with a smirk. He blushed and laughed softly at your mockery but obeyed and faced his back towards you. You quickly slip the shirt onto your body before walking towards him and tracing your fingers across his bicep as you reached for Willow.

Hey, you were going to be alone together on this ship for a life-time… what’s wrong with some innocent teasing between co-parents? Your smirk and teasing glance weren’t lost on Monte, he shared the smirk as the nearly passed out baby in his arms desperately reached for you. “Brat,” he scoffed before leaning closer to give you better access to your daughter.

“You know it,” you giggled softly, rocking Willow against your chest and beginning to hum a soft melody to her. You paced about the small room, giving Monte a look to say it was okay for him to leave the two of you.

It was a rule that if one of you were doing anything in the suits or near the airlock that your mics had to be on and broadcasted to the entire station. Just because you were trying to put Willow to sleep didn’t change that, Monte knew as he released the air supply to each suspended body bag that you’d hear all of it. He tried to keep quiet regardless, listening to the hums you were showering your daughter in.

After you ensured Willow was asleep in your arms, you gently laid down and held her close to the curve of your body. Eventually, you allowed your heavy eyes to close and fell asleep listening to Monte’s strained grunts.

Monte made his way back to your quarters, it was a nightly tradition at this point. You always sang Willow to sleep and would, more often than not, fall asleep holding her. He leaned his shoulder against the door frame, examining the sleeping faces of the two girls he’d fallen in love with so unexpectedly. He moved to sit on the cot on the other side of the room from you, listening to the soft mumbles that escaped your lips.

Every now and then he’d be able to interpret a word or two and had a mental log of your most frequented. If you were having a nightmare, which happened most nights, you whispered no, stop, run, it hurts, please. Each night he’d hear you pleading with these dark things that plagued your mind, he’d need to restrain himself from going to you. It was like every molecule in his body needed to comfort you.

But there were good nights: Willow baby, kitten, iced tea, mama, papa. “Monte,” you whispered, causing each of his muscles to tighten. He examined the lazy smile on your face and only after making sure you were still asleep, he relaxed with a smile of his own. This one was his favorite: his name. The first time he heard it was when he was forced to accept that he had fallen in love with you, and maybe you had too.

He laid down, listening to your incoherent babbling and the tiny snore of his daughter. He felt as relaxed now as he did before his childhood went to shit back on Earth.

Willow’s sharp cries forced your eyes to shoot open after only a few hours of sleep. You quickly sat up and pulled her into your chest again, rocking your shoulders as you yawned and tried to wake yourself up enough to comfort her. “Monte?” You asked as your blurred vision started to clear to see Monte sitting up in the cot across from you.

“Uh-“ he stuttered, looking down embarrassed. “Sorry, didn’t want to be alone… I guess.” You offered a small smile and a nod as Willow started to calm down in your embrace.

“You can always sleep in here with us,” you reassure. “I’m sure Willow can sense when we’re both near, she probably would like it.”

Monte chuckled softly and nodded, slipping his shirt off and handing it off to you. “Here,” he smiled at you. “Maybe the warmth will help her stay asleep longer.” You smiled and took it, sliding it onto Willow before laying back down. Monte knelt in front of your cot and gently swiped his thumb across Willow’s forehead.

“You mumble in your sleep, you know,” he whispered, his eyes connecting with yours. “It’s quite fascinating.” Your gulped slightly as a blush took over your cheeks as you noticed how close your faces were. “Maybe our daughter will get that from her mama,” he added. Pride filled him when he saw the smile creep across your face.

#monte #high life #robert pattinson x yn #robert pattinson #robert pattinson x reader #robert pattinson au #battinson #battinson x reader #robert pattinson x you #robert pattinson imagine #monte x reader #request #writing prompt #ask

[misfitjinx]

✱ YOU'RE ENOUGH.

you and vi are lying in your shared bed, talking to each other until you both decide to go to sleep. your girlfriend trusts you enough with her feelings, so she decides to open up to you about how she really feels.

cw // vi x fem!reader, fluff, possible angst.

warnings // none.

a/n // I dusted off my writing skills and finally got to work >:) keep in mind that English is not my native language pls!! I still gotta figure how to do more things on twitter but so far I'll treat you guys a vi x reader fic. let me know if you like it pls!! Idk if this relevant but I listened to Vas by jagger finn while writing this.

Every night you and Vi talk to each other. Usually it's long rants about our day - complaining about things you two didn't like and excitedly talking about the things that you did like. It's always like this and you wouldn't change a thing. Tonight was different however.. You're used to seeing the brawler in a bad mood after a long tiring day, but today it's different.

Vi lied down on the bed beside you and just from her expression alone you could tell that something's bothering her. You take her hands in yours and look up at her, pressing a small kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"Is everything alright, Vi? Please tell me, my love."

Vi must've noticed the worry in your tone, because she reached her bruised hand to your face to caress you as a form of reassurance.. she shook her head as a no, tears welling up in gray eyes. You wrapped your arms around her waist and pulled her into a hug. She slowly hugged your smaller frame.. she's slightly shaking.

"I .. feel like I'm not doing enough. I've lost so many people.. I'm just worried I'll lose you to too, cupcake."

You ran my hands up and down your lover's toned back, helping her relax.. Realising that this is the reason she's always been so careful. Everytime Vi raised her voice at you in an argument she immediately closed herself off and avoided you until she calmed down and came back to apologise.

You look up at her and cup her cheeks in your hands, reassuring her with a smile.

"I've promised I'll never leave you when you accepted my confession, didn't I? I love every single part of you, even the parts you might consider bad or ugly. You've got a good heart, Vi.. and all the things you do for your loved ones are enough. You're enough."

The brawler's eyes were literally full of love right now, it's like she fell for you again. You lean in and press your forehead against Vi's.. her bruised hands take yours and squeeze them a little.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Vi."

Vi closed her eyes.. she's exhausted from the tiring day and you're honestly glad that you could provide a nice end to it. You cuddle up against your girlfriend's chest.. falling asleep just moments later. You're already planning on spoiling Vi with her favourite food for breakfast and some chocolate you stole from Piltover few days ago.

this is so fucking short even though it felt like I wrote much more :'( take this as a test fanfic or somethin

#vi x reader #arcane vi x reader #arcane x reader #vi x female reader #arcane x female reader

[delikaitxx]

here we go: ‘86 is the title of my fic! this is the prologue i’m so so so excited yet nervous because it’s my first fic published but i hope you guys love it! 🖤

‘86 // The Prologue: THE FREAK AND THE BABE

*TRIGGER WARNING: swearing, mentions of abandonment, nsfw.

MARCH 23, 1985

I quickly gather my things as the bell dismissing us rings. “Thank god, I’m starving.” I think to myself. It was the last day of school before spring break and I couldn’t wait any longer. As well as school being absolutely draining, I have a week off from being harassed by Jason Carver.

Jason Carver is your average jock. Puts his feelings before others, doesn’t care about others. Just your good Ol’ average egotistical jackass. I never quite understood his obsession with me. I’m just a girl who hangs out with the band kids and I also write all the time. A coping skill I acquired dealing with the aftermath of my father leaving.

So, with that being said, I never understood the appeal I had on him. It’s like clockwork. I’ll attempt to sneak into the cafeteria so that I can avoid him, that’s not the case. He’ll always catch me. So, today would most likely not be an exception. A girl can certainly try. I sprint out of my classroom and hurry to the lunchroom, when I’m so rudely interrupted by an egotistical entity. I growl at his presence. “Hi Roxanne, how are you today? He cockily asks while fixing his obnoxious hair. I roll my eyes. “It was going good until you showed up.” I say under my breath.

I continue walking as he does as well, attempting to put his arm around me. I push it away. “No thank you. I don’t need a man to protect me from nothing.” He smirks then snickers. “Okay fine.” I start to grow very impatient and uncomfortable as the entity moves in front of me. I just want to eat something! “Are you at least going to be at the game later? You know, to cheer me on.” My anger grows and I scoff. “You seriously think I’m some bimbo with pom poms in love with you? Please.”

My skin begins to feel hot when suddenly the scent of old spice and weed overrides my senses. Realization hits as I see a leather covered arm wrap around me instantly calming me down. It’s Eddie “The Freak” Munson. Eddie is a senior who is repeating his senior year for a third time next year. I can’t help but to like him. Those eyes draw you in. I also sneak out with Robin to The Hideout to watch him and his band perform. He looks majestic when he shreds. I always find myself wondering if he notices me in the front row.

“Hey babe, is this guy bothering you?” I look at him astonished, blink a couple of times before it clicks. “Yeah. He’s… He’s harassing me about going to the game later and won’t stop.” I look up at Eddie, who gives me reassuring eyes before he sees red. “Carver thinks he can pull a fast one on my girl? Think I wouldn’t notice?” I put my hand on his chest continuing to play the part, only to notice how quickly his heart was beating.

I sneak a peek at Jason, who looks like he’s seen a ghost. “I’m just surprised a pretty thing would go out with a freak like you.” Eddie grows even more angry. “She is not a ‘thing’. She is a woman.” I rub on his chest even more. “A woman that chose the wrong guy.” Jason snaps. Eddie snaps harder. “At least i’m not a scumbag like y-“ I plant my lips on his as I drop my school books to caress his face. The cafeteria grows extremely silent.

His arms wrap around my waist and mine go into his curls as our kiss deepens. My eyes stay closed even though I’d like to see Jason’s face. Eddie stops the kiss and winks at me. I give him a smile. We stop our efforts and look at the pathetic thing. “Anything else Jason?” I ask, raising my eyebrows while still holding Eddie. Speechless, he walks away. I turn to my knight in shining armor. “Thank you so much. He wouldn’t leave me alone. How can I repay you?” Eddie chuckles. “That kiss was definitely something babe, show me what else you can do.” Now it’s me who’s speechless. Eddie kisses me once more and leads me somewhere.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Eddie leads me to his van, away from the school. My smile intensifies. Eddie notices me smiling and snickers. “You know, you have a really nice smile.” He leans against the van, making the butterflies in my stomach grow. “Really?” I try to hide from embarrassment. “No no darling, don’t hide. I love seeing you smile, especially in the front row.” His cockiness peaks. I start to get flustered. “Oh…” I speak quietly. “I never thought you’d notice.” “Oh no sweetheart. I see you dancing with Robin Buckley. It’s hot catching glances with you.” He opens the van and climbs in before offering his hand. “M’lady.”

I grab his hand, put my foot on the step and he pulls me in. The force of the pull makes me fall into his arms and he wraps his arms around me, catching me. “Wow, I never ever thought I’d be in your arms.” Eddie has. a shit eating grin. “Took us long enough huh?” I laugh with him. “Yeah… But especially you. What took you so long?” That’s when the overwhelming feeling comes as Eddie puts his lips back on mine. My eyes shut immediately as our hands roam all over each other.

The contrast of my warm skin with the chill ones of his rings hits quickly and I need more. His lips are soft and rough. His calloused hands explore beneath my shirt, causing me to shutter a bit. I laugh a bit. “I always see the way Carver approaches you everyday. The way it left you feeling.” Eddie begins to bite and suck on my jawline. Little moans come out of my mouth and into his ears. “I would constantly beat myself up for not coming to help, but today…… fuck. Today was it.” The way he breathes onto my neck and also him talking. Oh fuck.’”I couldn’t stand it any longer. That asshole doesn’t deserve you.”

My hand and fingers go into his locks that have been begging to be pulled. “God Eds.” I moan as his lips travel down to my collarbone. His moans fill his van as I tug and pull. He begins to bite, lick, and suck onto my breasts. His hands hook onto my breasts, gives them a squeeze. He moves them behind me and unclasps my bra. “Finally.” I gasp as his hands get back to my breasts. “I’ve always liked you Rox. I would protect you from anyone and anything, including that piece of shit.”

He continues to do wonders as his hands travel down to my shorts. “I could never work up the courage to talk to you. God you’re so fucking - fuck.” He switches by laying me on the floor and he’s on top. He smirks like a menace. “You get nervous around me?” His brown orbs glisten with lust and love. “Oh darling.” He takes my shorts and throws them. “You didn’t seem nervous pretending to be my girlfriend.” He teases as his fingers glide against my leg.

“That’s because - oh fuck.” His fingers go on the fabric of my panties and start rubbing gently. “That’s because what sweetheart? Use your words.” The pressure of his fingers increased. I moan and whimper. “That’s because… Because I normally get shy around you.” Eddie devilishly grins and chuckles spreading my legs and looks at me with a confused look. “You were scared to talk to me? Baby girl…” He comes up eye level with me and holds my face in his hands. “I don’t bite…” He looks down at my panties. “Not yet, but I’m not scary baby. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for so long.” He rubs my cheek with his thumb.

“I guess… No, it’s silly.” I chuckle. “What is it sweetheart?” I give him a yearning smile. “When I was ten, my parents split. My father left… I just always thought all men were like that. It’s silly.” His eyebrows furrow a bit. “I’m so sorry Rox… He seems like a real asshoel.” “He is. My brother Dustin misses him but I can’t stand the thought of him.” My father is in prison. I live with my Uncle Wayne. He’s really great.” “What happened to your dad? Your mom?”

“My father, I honestly don’t remember much. He’s committed several crimes. My mom left shortly before he went. Uncle Wayne took me in and he’s been in my life ever since.” I lightly smile. “Maybe I should meet him.” His eyes brighten. “You will darling. You will.” We both smile and chuckle. I moan when his thumb brushes against me.

“Did you want to keep going?” He raises his eyebrows. “Oh my god please.” I whine as he smirks going back down to my center. His slender fingers wrap around the hem of my panties and pull them down quickly. I twitch a bit at the cold air. Eddie is in awe at the sight in front of him. “God you’re so fucking beautiful• He says under his breath. I laugh wickedly. “You think so?” I tease. “Oh baby, you’re gorgeous.” He pants. “I just can’t wait to taste you.” He circles his right index finger and middle finger around my core slowly. It’s pure ecstasy. He stick them in and starts pumping in and out of me.

“Oh my god Eds.” I groan. “Please.” He lowers himself more and his tongue licks slowly as his fingers reach my clit. His fingers start circling around rapidly. His tongue darts in and out of me. “God you’re fucking divine.” He moans as he tastes more of me. I can already feel my high approach. But I don’t want him to stop. He’s just unreal. This is ecstasy. “Ed-Eddie. I’m gonna cum.” He laughs against my core, vibrating it. “Go for it sweetheart.” I groan as I release.

I can feel myself tremble as Eddie takes everything I gave him. He licks everything up. I start panting as he comes back up for air. He’s a panting mess as well. His hair is disheveled and unkempt. Added with sweat. “You, my darling, are magnificent.” I blush at the compliment. “I need you.” We pant some more. “Not now sweetheart. We’ll save that for later. For now, we have to go on with our school day.” I chuckle. “Wow Eddie Munson actually gives a shit about school.” He laughs and hands me my shorts “Come by after school. I’d love to, um, have you.” I grab my discarded bra and put it on. I then grab his face and kiss him.

“You already have me sweetheart.” I give him a daring smirk. I sit on his lap with his member poking me. We get into a steamy passionate kiss as if everything disappears. We don’t even hear the faint sound of the bell ringing. We pull away from each other. “Damn Rox, we only just got to know each other. But goddamit you’re already the death of me.” I giggle. “Well, I guess I have that effect on people.” He grabs my face again and our lips connect again. I grab onto his shirt and rip it off him. Eddie smirks at me. “Round two?” I climb on top of him. “Yes.” We take a very extended lunch break in his van while passersby walk past to class. Meanwhile, Eds and I were learning about each other.

#joseph quinn #eddie munson #maya hawke #robin buckley #stranger things

[artycreaty]

A Gentle Touch

Hello, @faru-itsok​! I am your @dcmksecretsanta ​for this year! 🎅🏻 🎁 (or rather, last year because it’s already 2023 aaaaaaa I’m very very sorryyyyyy!🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️)

Here it is, your gift! I had to cut it in half because I didn’t want to keep you waiting any longer!

Wishing you a very Merry belated Christmas/Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year 2023! May 2023 bring you hope, creativity and health! 🎆 📣 ✨

Special thanks to Raka ( @rakashith ) for your thoughts and advices, and @blenderfullasarcasm for beta-ing this fic, and also thanks to @mirrorfalls for giving me the idea to start writing this work! Thank you all, you’ve helped me a BUNCH!

And also Special Thanks to the host Sabrina for being patient with me and also for being very understanding! Thank you for hosting this event, I’ve enjoyed every gifts everyone shared! 💜Now then, please enjoy the first part! I’m currently in process of writing the second part! 💜 ✨

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Chapters: 1/2

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 3.9k

Characters: Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Nakamori Aoko

Additional Tags: DCMK Secret Santa, Secret Santa, Gift Fic, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, i guess?, Dessert & Sweets, Touch-Starved, Forehead Touching, Swearing, a bit - Freeform

Summary:

Humans bond through physical touch. Hugging and other forms of nonsexual touching causes your brain to release oxytocin, known as the ‘bonding hormone’. From the day we are born till the day we die, our need for physical contact remains. Giving and receiving physical touch has the power to heal more than a broken heart.

Aoko doesn’t understand why Kaito is avoiding her, and she resolves to do something about it.

.

.

.

Kaito has been avoiding Aoko lately.

Well, not quite like that - they see each other everyday. Aoko will whack him with her mop if Kaito even so much as tries to avoid Aoko’s presence. No, it’s not that.

Kaito has been avoiding skin-to-skin contact with Aoko. No, not like that, either, would you get your damn minds out of the gutter, please!

It’s just…

Aoko and Kaito have been best friends for as long as she can remember, from the moment Kaito gave her that beautiful blue rose under that clocktower. Since then, they’ve gone through everything together, holding hands most of the time. They’ve always had skin-to-skin contact, whether it be hand holding or hugging or teasing touches. They’re also used to touching the other’s forehead with their own for reassurances when they’re down sometimes.

For example, if Kaito ever sees someone performing street magic, his mind turns to his father, and his eyes lose their light a little. Aoko always notices, and she'll poke his cheek in a teasing but grounding way or hold his hand to bring Kaito out of his slump before it goes any deeper. Kaito, in turn, gives Aoko pats on the head and thus teasingly messes up her hair, which will bring Aoko’s head back to the present. He also holds Aoko’s hand whenever they both feel like it.

She doesn’t mind it. And she knows Kaito feels the same.

However, since starting high school, their skin-to-skin touches have lessened slightly. Aoko hadn’t thought of it much, because they were both so busy with school and after school clubs that they hadn’t had time to catch up with each other as often as they’d liked.

Even still, they’d touched each other whenever they had the chance to. Aoko likes having skin-to-skin contact with her best friend.

Please read the rest on the link (AO3)!

#dcmksecretsanta #dcmk secret santa #dcmk #kaito kuroba #nakamori aoko #I’m very very sorry for being late! #i really hope you like this gift! #i hope i did them justice #dcmk fanfic #my writing #my fanfic #mine #gift fic #2022 #secret Santa #fluff #romance #touch starved

[blossomingshooby]

Secluded surprise (part 2)

Hello everyone, so this is my first time at attempting to write a fic! I kept it neutral, MC is any house and any gender for now. (May change later in the story.) I absolutely love any helpful criticism. And please let me know if you want more…

Secluded surprise (Part 2)

Pairing: MC(reader) x O.G.

Rated: T

Includes: First Kiss, groping

POV: MC(you) characters are 17+

Plot: Ominis has been wanting to confess his feeling to MC for quite some time, and as the yule ball is only a couple months away, he wants them to know beforehand. He decided to take them to one of his favorite places outside the castle, in hopes of surprising them and confessing his feelings.

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/blossomingshooby/712972034756558848/secluded-surprise-part-1-hello-everyone-so

The boat ride was short, yet still very serene. The sun was close to setting, and you couldn’t help but take multiple glances at Ominis, his eyes looked teal with the reflection of the black lake in them. The waves were slightly shifting the boat back and forth as they reached their destination.

There was an island in the middle of the lake, not far from shore, that was covered in trees, enough to make it look like a small forest. The boat landed on the shore a bit, enough for you and Ominis to get to land. He once again, extended his hand to yours to help you. You gladly accepted and interlaced your fingers on your own accord, hoping he’d like to do it again. He smiled and slowly stared to guide you towards the center of the island, into the trees.

“I must admit, this is far more adventure than I expected from you, Ominis.” You started while trying to avoid rocks and sticks below you. “It will be well worth it, I promise. Besides, I thought you liked adventure and mystery, you seem to have a knack for always being in one.” He replied, helping you through some of the rougher parts of the path, he seemed to know it quite well. He still held his wand in the other hand, the red glow of it growing brighter the deeper you went into the forest.

“Here we are, our own little secluded camp.” He said, a bit out of breathe after the rough walk. You looked upon the clearing within the trees and saw a cozy campfire set up before you. There was a tent and next to it, a small fire with a bench adjacent to it. Beside the bench was a small log that had two mugs and some marshmallows beside it. “I thought you would like some time away from the castle and a break from your studies, so I set this up for us to perhaps roast marshmallows, and maybe even have some hot chocolate.” he confessed nervously.

Your mouth was a bit agape from the surprise before you, not even realizing you were squeezing his hand as you took in the sight. “This is amazing, Ominis! I can’t believe you went through all this effort just for me to take a break from my studies.” He smiled in return before he started to look away, a bit nervous, as if he had more to say. “What’s wrong? You looked concerned.” You stated.

He let go of your hand and started to pace a bit, with his hand behind his neck. “I admit I brought you out here for a little more than a break. I wanted to…” he stuttered between words, his face starting to become a bit more flush. “There’s no need to be nervous” you said, attempting reassurance. “You can tell me anything Ominis.” You grabbed his hand again, missing the warmth already, and wanting to reassure him.

He smiled at your gesture while moving his gaze to your hands, he then took both your hands in his as he inhaled a deep breathe. “I desire you, Y/N” he finally said, just above a whisper, his gaze never leaving your hands. You suddenly felt your face become hot. “Wha..what?!” You exclaimed, shocked. “This past year, I’ve found myself thinking of you non-stop.” He started to explain as his head lifted back up to shift his gaze toward you.

You couldn’t believe he was confessing to you, and he’s thought about you a whole year?! Your mind was racing as you watched his lips move, you were absolutely entranced. You’ve been infatuated with him since the day you saw him fall asleep in professor binns class. That day he was so relaxed and you took the time to drink in every beauty mark on his precious face. From then on, you couldn’t help but stare at him on occasion, counting his facial marks to make sure you don’t miss any new ones.

You felt him start pull away when you didn’t respond. “I feel the same way” you blurted, scared he’d pull away further as you pulled him close to you with your hands. “You do?!” He asked with a bright smile. “Y/N, that makes me so happy to hear.” His face became serious for a moment, before he asked, “May I kiss you?”

You felt your heart try and beat out of your chest at the question. A kiss with Ominis, is this a dream? “Of course.” you replied, sounding out of breathe as the butterflies filled your stomach. He then let go of your hands and placed his upon your face, pulling his body even closer.

He leant forward and you met him half way, having to stand on your toes due to his height. When your lips finally met, it was as if you were kissing clouds, his lips were soft and the kiss was tender. His hands providing warmth while holding your face. “More!” Your mind screamed as his lips left yours. He was irresistible, you couldn’t help yourself, you wound your hands in his hair and pulled him back in for a deeper kiss.

He kissed back with even more enthusiasm. He started to nip at your bottom lip, as you gasped he to quickly made to lapping at the inside of your mouth, making sure to entangle your tongue in his. His hands found themselves at your back pulling you as close as possible. A light moan escaped your lips as his hands roamed just above your arse, causing you to become even hotter. You found yourself like this until you were out of breathe. Your lips finally left his as you both gasped for air, falling into a warm embrace.

“That was brilliant…” you mumbled into his shoulder while you tried to regain composure. “Indeed it was” he replied as he started to pull away. What was to come next? your mind started racing with a thousand possibilities between you two. He again placed his hands on your face, startling you from your thoughts. “You feel cold, Y/N. We should head inside soon, the last thing I want is for me to be the cause of your cold.” He said, voice glistening with concern. You smiled, following him inside the tent.

Hope you enjoyed!

Okay yes maybe smutty part :3

#ominis x reader #ominis x you #ominis gaunt

[crystallizedkingdoms]

Overture

Day 2 of @johann-appreciation-week ! I have received special intel that this fic may be considered suggestive. its not like porn or anything explicit but like. there’s gay feelings that’s for sure.

you can also read this on ao3 <3

As a gamekeeper and bard, it would come as no surprise that Johann’s job in the Bureau of Balance is far from a physically taxing one. The most arduous task he’s had so far in his seven months of working is carrying his monthly box of writing supplies down to his room at the Voidfish’s chamber. As such, Johann is one of the employees that would rather watch the new tradition of sparring matches at the icosagon, rather than participate in them. That is, if he ever actually went to one.

Sometimes Johann feels a bit bad about not going to those matches, but he assures himself that it isn’t his fault. He just happens to be coincidentally busy, like, all the time. Plus, it’s not like anyone ever invited him to watch or anything. That’s just how it’s been for his months of working in the Bureau. Johann certainly didn’t feel like changing that.

So it comes as a surprise when Avi, one of the newer hires Johann had become acquainted with, is standing right in front of him and offering him to watch a match.

“You, um… wanna take me? To watch you fight,” Johann asks incredulously.

“I mean, yeah! You just mentioned you have never seen a sparring session before and I thought, you know, this could be your first time. See how we rough it up in the pit,” Avi says, leaning against the glass of the cafeteria dome. “It’ll be fun, I think you’ll like it, dude. Maybe I’ll inspire you to join in on the next match.”

Johann raises an eyebrow at that.

Avi smiles awkwardly, though it’s still got that friendly quality to it that all his smiles have. “Hah, okay, maybe you’re not the type to do that. My point still stands though, you should come! You’ve been here longer than me, and you haven’t once thought about watching the others fight?”

“Well, uh, it’s just never really something people ask of me. I think Carey tried to ask me a few days ago, but, um, I really had to go feed the Voidfish so I kind of ducked away before she could ask. Damn. I, uh, shouldn’t have done that, huh?”

“No! I mean, like, no, don’t worry about that. She didn’t mind, she totally saw you were busy, don’t blame yourself—”

Johann’s ears perk up at that information. “Oh, did she tell you?” he asks.

Upon that comment, Avi pulls his lips into a tight line. Despite the chatter of the bustling cafeteria around them, their conversation halts to an awkward silence for a couple of moments. It takes a couple seconds for Avi to speak again, “All right, I’ll be honest. Iiiii might have been there to encourage you to join us,” he admits. He tears his attention away to the crowd of people still eating, and his hand reaches up to rub the back of his neck. “Just something Carey and I talked about. You were the first guy that came to mind.”

“I was the first person that came to your mind?” The corner of Johann’s lip twitches up into a half smile at Avi’s confession.

“Y-yeah, seriously. Brian also came up, but uh, Carey informed me that Killian already invited him and that he was definitely gonna participate in our fight. So, yeesh.”

“Oh, man. Now I gotta come and see that,” Johann says. “You really gonna go up against him? He’s, like, one of the best fucking wizards here.”

“Hey, it’s just a friendly match! He’s not gonna obliterate me… I hope,” Avi reassures. Then he goes silent. And then he scrunched his nose at Johann. “Are you— wait, are you insinuating I would lose?”

Johann has to bite the inside of his cheek to hide an obvious smile. His eyes wander to the side to avoid looking at Avi’s face, which he knows will send him into a giggling fit. “I, um, of course didn’t say that, but I suppose if that’s what you hear…”

Avi scoffs and stops leaning against the glass to land a light hit against Johann’s shoulder. Even though it doesn’t hurt, Johann mouths a soft ‘Ow’ anyway. “Don’t pull that shit with me! You’re gonna eat your fucking words, bro,” Avi laughs. He laughs so openly, with his whole face and chest, that it makes Johann feel a little stupid for trying to hide his own laughter. “Now you definitely have to come. If I catch you skipping I’m going to throw you in the icosagon myself.”

“Okay, chill. I’ll go, I’ll go,” Johann says.

Avi’s face brightens even more than before, which Johann didn’t think was possible until then. He’s beaming with excitement and Johann finds himself wanting to see more of it. “All right, dude, see you at the ‘gon!” Avi claps a hand on Johann’s shoulder and gives it a good shake before he walks towards the exit of the cafeteria dome. Johann watches Avi leave until he can no longer see him.

Great, time to watch some jocks fuck shit up.

—

Johann has been in the icosagon exactly two times before this invitation: once when the inside was still under construction, and the second time when he was delegated the task of introducing some new employees to the layout of the moonbase. It comes as a surprise to Johann when he finds that the icosagon is actually not as barren as he expected; there are racks with all sorts of weapons, projectiles, spell books, even a few instruments. Of course, they look pretty cheap, but Johann is surprised to see them there nonetheless.

What also catches Johann’s attention is the benches surrounding the arena’s ring. He knows people liked to watch their friends during sparring matches, but he didn’t think that they would set up bleachers like some high school gymnasium. Most interestingly, a familiar uniform jacket is laid right on top of a bench closest to the right side of the ring. Made unique by a custom addition of a fur-trimmed hood, Johann gravitates towards it quickly.

“Hey, Johann!” A voice calls out to him. Johann jumps and whips around towards the centre of the arena, where he sees Brian, Carey, and Killian congregating with their training weapons in hand.

“Ah, um… hey,” Johann says back.

“You’re pretty sneaky, aren’t you, darling?” Brian asks with a little smirk. “For a second when I saw the door swinging, I thought Mr. Bradson had finally changed his mind and decided to join and watch, but he couldn’t have been as quick as you. Hardly even noticed you entering! Carey, dear, do you think he has a chance at being a rogue?”

Carey laughs and leans against Brian, swirling a dagger between her fingers. “Hah! I could teach him if he wanted. You want lessons, Johann?” she calls out towards him.

Johann raises a hand and waves her off a little. “Ah, um, no thanks. I’m good, Carey. I’m good at being just a bard.”

“Suit yourself,” Carey shrugs.

Johann makes his way to Avi’s jacket, and when he gets there, he sits right next to it. “Looks pretty empty today. So, um, where’s Avi?” he asks as nonchalantly as he possibly can.

“Oh, he went to go and change in the lockers,” Killian says and points a thumb towards a door near the back of the icosagon. “No clue why he dropped that jacket there, though. He usually puts it away pretty safely.”

“I suppose he used it to indicate where he wished for Johann to sit, hm?” Brian’s voice sounds extra sing-songy when he says that, though he makes the point to not look directly at Johann.

“Oh? What makes you say that?” Carey asks with a similar cadence. She smirks in the same way Brian does, but she quickly stops when Killian gives her a look that Johann can’t read, but takes note of anyway. Just as Johann is about to ask what this inside joke they seemed to be on was, Avi bursts out of the locker room door.

The three in the arena turn to Avi, so Johann can’t see their faces from his seat. “Speak of the devil, eh?” Killian says, a smile audible in her voice.

Though Johann can’t see the three’s faces, Johann can see Avi very clearly. Avi’s wearing a white tank top perhaps a size too small, revealing parts of his body in ways that are usually hidden by his uniform jacket. His geometric tattoos that Johann only ever saw on his fingers and wrists extend all the way up his forearm. Not to mention how that too-small tank top outlines and emphasizes Avi’s fit physique…

Oh gods, Johann is thinking way too much about this.

“Sorry I took so long, guys! Had some, uh, trouble in there. We can get started whenever you’re ready…” Avi’s eyes visibly flicker across to where Johann’s sitting. He perks up and waves at Johann, calling out, “Johann!! Aw man, you really came!”

Johann silently waves back, a little absentminded as his eyes trace Avi’s body. He’s really excited to see me, huh, he notes.

“Are you ready, Avi, dear?” Brian backs away from the group a little, the web pattern on his staff growing a brilliant white as he readied himself for their sparring match. “We have an audience this time around, but don’t let that get to your heads. I’m sure Johann wouldn’t like to watch a bunch of show offs tussle it out, isn’t that right, darling?”

The group all look towards Johann, who’s starting to feel like he should just crawl into the Voidfish’s chambers and never come out again. “Haha… yeah, right. Let’s keep it real, guys,” he laughs, monotonous and flat.

“We— we wouldn’t exaggerate or anything!” Avi insists, shooting a glare at Brian. Brian pretends not to notice, focusing more on his staff than anything else. “Like, come on, that just, that just sounds stupid. We’ll keep it, uh, real.”

Carey elbows Avi in the gut, gaining a little whine of annoyance rather than pain. “Okay, okay, let’s quit stalling! And Killian, this time quit targeting my tail! The dull bolts still hurt like hell up near the base,” she says.

“Wasn’t targeting, it was just there, but I’ll try harder this time. Let’s get started!”

Johann is still silent when the four talk with each other and ready themselves for their spat. Admittedly, Johann almost feels… a little forgotten when they talk with each other, while he sits on the quite literal sidelines. He even begins to wonder idly, Why even invite me to watch? No one else is here. I don’t see the point in watching a bunch of coworkers beat each other down.

Of course, that’s because Johann’s never seen how his coworkers fight before.

Where Johann expects he’s going to be bored out of his mind, his attention is whisked away by the reality of what was in front of him: they were damn good fighters.

It doesn’t take very long for Johann to be whisked by the frenzy of the fight. The four of them engage with each other constantly, switching up their fighting partners on a whim, but always falling into each other’s patterns. Johann finds a rhythm in how they fight each other, how one of Brian’s spells trips up Killian, how Avi blocks off a strike from Carey right behind him, Killian’s quick shots against Brian. Occasionally they shout things at each other, encouragements, criticisms, taunting, but they never stop for any of it. Their bodies flow to that unrelenting melody without resting, and Johann watches it all intently.

Well, it would be more accurate to say Johann is watching a certain part of it more intently than the others. It’s not like he’s trying to stare at Avi the most, honestly! It’s definitely not weird that he’s so focused on how Avi’s ponytail whips around as he lands a hit on Brian’s shoulder. And it’s absolutely not his fault that his fingers tap Avi’s specific rhythm against his thigh, that his gaze lingers on Avi’s flexing muscles as he fights against his three friends. That… he’s never thought about Avi like that, never…

Oh, gods, why am I thinking this about him?

Johann tries to shake himself of his thoughts the entire match, but they never quite go away.

—

Johann isn’t very sure when their sparring match ends. He tends to get lost when he has inspiration for songs, after all.

He does notice when it ends. All four of them collapse onto the ground with their weapons sprawled all around them. They are all sweating and panting right next to each other, trying to get as much air as possible before they can speak.

It’s not very clear what a bystander should do in this situation. So Johann just silently claps. “Uh… wow! That was— that was actually really, really fun to watch. Um, good job, guys.”

“Th-thanks, darling… oh goodness,” Brian wheezed out, his accent sounding even more strangled in this state. “Killian, my dear, it’s your turn to grab the refreshment.”

Killian whines into her hand for a solid seven seconds before she tries to stand up. She stretches her arms and bends her back a little to get all the kinks out. Then, she’s off to grab a little basket of water bottles and towels near the locker doors that Johann completely missed. “Hey, so uh, next time? Next time let’s chill out a little. Avi looks like he’s gonna throw up,” Killian says.

“No I don’t!!” Avi yells and sits up straight at lightning speed. “I definitely don’t!” He gathers his bearings, he pulls himself to his feet, then does a big stretch with his arm way over his head. The way he stretches raises his too-small tank top to reveal his midriff. It’s covered in sweat, flexing just enough for his abs to be more defined, and oh man, the start of a happy trail…

Come on, how the hell is Johann supposed to act normal under these conditions?

Killian makes her way to the group with the basket and tossed each of them their water bottles and towels. When Avi gets his, he makes the decision to take a sip of his water and oh gods, he’s walking over to Johann while he’s taking his shirt off. Johann thinks he might gasp without thinking as Avi approaches him completely shirtless, sweaty, and grinning wildly.

“Hey, Johann!” Avi greets him as he leans against the railing of the arena. The way he leans his body lets Johann get an incredible view of Avi’s exposed chest. “Haha… that was a real fun match! Did you enjoy it? Tell me, I definitely looked pretty cool while fighting, eh?”

“Oh you, uh— you looked really, really cool…” Johann chokes out from his stutters. Johann’s visibly struggling with keeping his eyes where they should be, and though he didn’t move a single inch during that fight, he feels his own body heating up. “Really good. Like, wow. You guys were great, all of you!”

“Thanks, Johann!” Carey calls out to him, but Johann hardly hears it from under the pounding in his ears.

“So, uh… Would you be open to visiting us spar more often?” Avi asks. He’s leaning a little over the railing now, so Johann can get a good look at Avi’s face— sweaty, a little flushed, and his eyes showing a hidden eagerness to them. He’s searching Johann’s face just as much as Johann searches his, and the sudden attention is almost excruciating. “Maybe you can join in next time? Or not, that’s fine too. You can also come watch even if there’s a little less of us…”

Johann tears his eyes away from Avi for a single moment. That last part is too obvious even for Johann, and he knows the others must have heard it, because he can hear Brian trying to stifle a laugh as they discreetly try to shuffle towards the lockers. “I’d love to watch you guys spar more often. This was really hot— um, fun. Very fun… first experience,” he says. Then, to ease some of the dripping tension, Johann looks down and sees Avi’s jacket beside him. “Oh, um, here’s your jacket. You left it here.” He picks up Avi’s jacket, stands up from his seat, then extends it out to its owner.

Avi eyes his own jacket, then back up at Johann. He reaches for his jacket, but his fingers brush against Johann’s and lingers there for a few heartbeats. “Thank you, Johann,” Avi whispers under his breath, “it means a lot.”

Johann has only a second to appreciate everything in front of him before Avi pulls away with his jacket. “I’m gonna go wash up with the three now, okay?” he says. “I’ll see you later?”

A dumbfounded Johann can only nod. “Uh, yeah. I’ll get going, too. See you later.”

#johann appreciation week #taz balance #johavi #taz johann #taz avi #my writing

[danceswithsporks]

On the 1st day of Bad Batchmas I gave to all of yooouuuu!!!

Omega in a Tree!!

I’ve decided to write little snippets up until our boys return from war! Err…Season 2 arrives.

Now this will take place in the universe I’ve built for my fic A Star Above the Rest! Some may be sneak peaks at future events, little glimpses into past events, or things I wanted to do but couldn’t work into the story! I hope you all enjoy them and Happy Holidays!

12 Days of Bad Batchmas Day 1- Omega in a Tree

“Hunter?” Omegas darling eyes turned towards the long haired clone. “Do you ever regret taking me with you?”

Hunter looked out over the vast forest below them. He and Omega had climbed the tallest tree they could find to keep lookout while Tech and Echo fixed the Marauder. Wrecker was out in the woods searching for something, though he wouldn’t tell Omega what. As for Crosshair, well he was somewhere avoiding the small clone. Omegas question had caught him by surprise, slowly his gaze shifted back to the little girl. “Why would you ask something like that?”

A punishment? Now who would think something like that? “Omega? Do you think it’s a punishment to be with us? After all, we’re the defective clones.”

“Not at all.” Omega smiled at her brother, father figure? She didn’t care honestly. They were her family. “You didn’t answer my question.” Leaning against his arm, she looked back towards the now setting sun.

“Come down, and we’ll all answer the question.” Hunter nudged her before moving to climb down. Omega smiled brightly and nodded. “Climbing down or are ya gonna be a backpack?”

A bell filled laugh came from the blonde as she reached out to Hunter. “Should take advantage of this for as long as I can, shouldn’t I?”

“We’ll always figure out a way to carry ya, kid.”

-*-

“There’s my favorite sister!” Wrecker crosses the space between the ship and Omega in four easy steps. His bag arms scooped the girl up easily before placing her on his shoulder.

Another delighted laugh came from Omega as she was lifted like a feather. “Wrecker, I’m your only sister!” Her caramel eyes lit up as she was carried back to the others.

“What took you two so long?” Tech tapped at his datapad quickly before looking back to Omega. This had been a good idea, to take her in. He’d have to let Zirena know.

“Omega had a question for all of us.” Crossing his broad arms, Hunter nodded to the girl to ask her question once more.

“Do you guys regret taking me with you?” Her eyes shifted between all of her brothers. She expected Echo to reassure her, Wrecker to make a joke, Tech to give her some facts, Crosshair to remain silent and Hunter to say something caring. She knew her family like the back of her hand.

“In the beginning you were a nuisance.” Crosshair chewed his toothpick, all eyes turning to the sniper quickly. “Now though.” He crossed the space between them, the toothpick now between his fingers. “Now you’re more of a bother.”

Omega watched as a rare smirk appeared on his lips. “Is a bother better than a nuisance?” It was hard to figure out.

“Much better.” Wrecker reached up and tapped her nose. “Now, wanna see what we’ve been up to?”

“I thought you were fixing the ship?” Her eyes scanned the group as they all smiled, except for Crosshair. But a smirk and a shift of his toothpick would be enough.

“Had to pick up something.” Echo stepped over towards the ship and tapped the panel for the door to open. “Or someone.”

“Someone?” Her eyes looked to the ship and a large smile passed her lips. “Cal!” Wreckers large hands wrapped around her waist and placed her down. She quickly ran towards the young padawan and hugged him tightly. “What are you doing here?”

Cal hugged Omega back excitedly as BD chirped from his shoulder. “Captain Howzer got called to Ryloth. So my Master arranged for you guys to take me to her!”

“Cal will be with us for about a week. Promised Zirena that we’d show him the ropes.” Echo winked at the two kids. “Think we can handle that?”

A mischievous grin crossed Omegas lips as so many wonderful ideas came to mind. “Definetly.” Grabbing Cals hand she pulled him towards the forest. “Let’s start with climbing a tree.”

Cal laughed as he followed behind Omega, BD hot on their heels. “I know how to climb a tree, Mega!”

Omega stopped dead in her tracks before looking back to Cal. “Without using the force?”

“Oh. No.” Now that he thought about it, he didn’t know how to do too much without using the force.

“Perfect!” Grabbing his hand once more she led him back to the tree from earlier.

Hunter visibly winced as Cal tripped while chasing after Omega. “Think we can handle a Jedi and Omega?” If Cal got hurt Zirena would kill him.

Echo sighed as he rubbed his scomp against his head. “Well, we’ll find out soon enough. Won’t we. Besides, if it comes down to it, I have Zirena on speed dial.”

An exhausted sigh came from the leader. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

-*-

Cal and Omega sat in a tree overlooking the vast forest below. The sun had set and a golden moon now rested in the sky. Their dinner had been brought to them and as each one finished their drinks, Cal asked a question he had been thinking about. “Do you ever regret going with them?”

Omega shook her blonde locks as a happy smile graced her lips. “Nah, they're my family. How could I ever regret that?”

“Even Crosshair?” Cal could sense the sniper somewhere nearby, watching them no doubt.

A shrug came from her, the smile still there. “Even Cross. He started out as a nuisance but now he’s just a bother.”

“A brother that bothers?”

“Yes, a brother that bothers.”

#star wars bad batch #crosshairs bad batch #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb hunter #merry bad batchmas #bad batch #bad batch season 2 #clone wars #baby cal kestis

[imherongraystairstrash]

Hiii recently I resd your fic in ao3 about When gabrily they were expecting Alexander, I was wondering of you could consider writing Gabriel telling Gideon about it :)

Of course!! I have to warn you though: I wrote this after studying for a huge exam so if it's reflects my dead brain, I'm sorry! I hope you like it :)

"I have something important to tell you.”

Gabriel had been staring at Gideon from his end of the ballroom for about half an hour and somehow his idiot brother still hasn’t realized it.

He finally gave up and walked over to the oaf. 

“Hello Gabriel.” Gideon said as he approached. Thankfully his brother was alone and out of earshot from any passerby.

“Haven’t you realized I’ve been looking at you for an eternity?”

“Oh, I did. I was just trying to ignore you.”

“Why would you do that?” 

“So that I wouldn’t have to talk to you.” 

“You bloody bastard.” 

Gideon only smiled, which further aggravated Gabriel.

“I have something important to tell you.” 

“I’m sure you do.” Gideon said, taking a sip of water.

Gabriel pressed his lips together. “Cecy’s pregnant.” 

It’s safe to say Gideon was not expecting that, something evident by the fact that the water he had been drinking came out of his nose.

Gabriel jumped back, avoiding the spray. 

“Angel, Gideon, get a hold of yourself! Your monster.”

Gideon held up a handkerchief to his nose, though it was an absentminded gesture. He was utterly focused on Gabriel, his expression so flabbergasted, Gabriel felt to urge to look in the mirror to see if he’d grown another head. “Cecily’s pregnant?” He almost whispered.

“Yes.” Gabriel said, annoyance creeping into his current humor. 

“They can still do that?” Gideon said, his eyes going wide, as if it had not occurred to him that his wife could still very much be fertile.

“Apparently, yes.” 

“I must say, I’m glad it happened to you and not me.”

Gabriel sputtered, “Why would you say that to me? How is that at all comforting?”

“I’m only being honest,” Gideon said defensively. “If you wanted me to lie to you, you should have just said it outright.” 

“People shouldn't have to tell you. Raziel, have you always been this insensitive?” 

Gideon shrugged.

Gabriel ran his hand through his hair. “What am I supposed to do, Gideon?”

Gideon shrugged. “I don’t know; you really messed up.” 

“What the hell, Gideon?” he was starting to regret coming to Gideon. He sighed, “Just, forget I came here.” He began walking away when he heard his brother call out to him.

“Gabriel, listen.”

Gabriel sighed and turned around. 

“Both you and Cecily have always wanted a third child.”

“Yes, but ideally it would have been about a decade ago.”

“Ideally, our father would have been the exact opposite of what he was. But he wasn’t, and it felt so incredibly unfair to us that it didn’t make sense. And his actions had their…complications, but at the end of the day, everything’s alright now.”

“It wasn’t for a long time.” Gabriel mumbled.

“But we wouldn’t be who we are today if it had been any different. And what’s more, you wouldn’t be married to Cecily, don’t look at me like that, you know it’s the truth. Don’t you think it’s time to stop trying to take control over every little thing that comes your way and just let it happen? Do you really know it’s going to be horrible if you haven’t even experienced it yet?” 

Gideon looked at him expectantly until Gabriel acquiesced and said, “I guess not.”

“Then stop being bitter out of the unexpectedness of the situation. What’s the worst that can happen? Cecily balances out your physical appearance, so there is no need to worry about what the baby will end up looking like.”

Gabriel shot him a dark look at that backhanded comment. But the rest was quite reassuring. What was he afraid of?

“We’re so old.” Gabriel said. “By the time it’s eighteen we’re going to be grandparents.”

“It’ll be fine. The baby won’t know anything different. And it’s probably for the better that you’re older; you’re more capable, don’t you think? Not as disastrous as we were in our early years.”

Gabriel huffed a laugh. “I suppose so.”

Gideon nudged his shoulder with his own. “You have nothing to worry about. Think of it as a blessing, because it truly is.”

Gabriel nodded, now remembering why he’d gone to Gideon.

“Thank you.”

Gideon ruffed his hair. “See? I’m not as insensitive as you labeled me to be.”

Gabriel shook his head. “I could have lived without the first part.” 

...

Sophie approached Gideon as Gabriel walked off. Gideon held back a smile. He liked having Sophie by his side; he felt more reassured, complete. 

“I’m assuming Gabriel told you what Cecily just told me.”

“Your assumption is correct.”

Sophie grinned. “I can hardly wait for the birth of the baby. It’s been so long since I’ve held such a small, darling creature in my arms!”

Gideon smiled, but couldn’t help but say, “They’ll be all right, won’t they?” 

“I think they’ll be more than alright. They look happy. I think this baby will do them good. They have been a little lonely recently.”

Gideon couldn’t help but agree: Anna was far too independent and Christopher was always in his own world. They’re brilliant children, but Cecily and Gabriel seem like they need something to focus all of the attention their children don’t really need anymore (except for Kit, who occasionally tends to blow things up when unattended to). But another child would do them good.

“I agree. Though I will say, I don’t envy them for a second.” Gideon said, looking at Gabriel and Cecily, now reunited in a far corner of the room. 

“Indeed,” Sophie said, shuttering. 

PS This counts as my essay on how perfect Alexander being born was for Gabriel and Cecily

Tagging: @tsccreatorsnet  @atla-lok143  @rinadragomir  @youngreckless  @autumnangel20  @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens  @no-scones-allowed  @ninacarstairss  @stxr-thxif   @icouldnotask @jordeliasupremacy  @cordelia-cardale  @will-effing-herondale  @axoloteca @heronstairs2014 @ilovemanicures @ti-bae-rius @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @readersconfessions812 @nightshade3465 @livvyheronstairs @zemiraa @proudtobealuthor @neurogliadudette @theenchanteddreamer @cheeseandmacarons @shadowhunting-hoolingans @writeordie-4 @amchara @myangelbach @livingformyself @dancing-under-the-moon @julescarstairs @wouldyouknowmeblind @grace-lightwoodd @livingformyself @ilikebooksandtvshows

If you want to be on my tag list, or if you changed your url recently and your not in the tag list anymore, let me know! Also, if you want to be removed, send me a dm! I won’t be offended in the slightest :) Oh, and if you asked to be on the tag list and you’re not on it, please let me know <3

#gabriel lightwood #cecily lightwood #gabriel and cecily #gideon lightwood #alexander lightwood #sophie lightwood #ugh i love when my tags are full of lightwoods #instant serotonin #tsc #tlh #tid #anna lightwood #christopher lightwood

[azeutreciathewicked]

White walls. White floor. No discernible door. The prison cell looks exactly like a standard cubicle in Heaven. It probably is one, just with no conjured desk or exit access.  Aziraphale sits in a corner on the floor, still unclothed, still bound. The discomfort in his corporation had faded in the blank surroundings, leaving him with only his thoughts to discomfit him.  “I’ll leave you with your demons for a while so you can get reacquainted,” the Metatron had said when Aziraphale was brought before him, before dismissing him like a piece of trash. 

Penultimate chapter. This one is heavy. Check the content warnings. Nothing explicit, but it pushes a lot of boundaries intentionally.

I almost titled this chapter “Aziraphale”, because it would bring a nice conclusion (with the next one titled “Crowley”). But this isn’t just about Aziraphale. I thought of going with "Enlightenment," both in in the European and the Buddhist sense because this is about acceptance and about transformation.

But this chapter went much darker than I’d originally conceived it, so it's now "Desecration." And I’m taking a lot of risks here - pushing a lot of boundaries (while avoiding explicit descriptions where possible). This is the culmination of Aziraphale’s emotional journey where he is being forced to take apart everything he has relied on — and all while knowing he did something bad to Crowley, and is not completely sure Crowley still exists. Without Crowley to balance him, to reassure him, he’s spiraling. The spiral style of writing I've been using comes to a head in this chapter to represent the ways that we remember and repeat things said to us in the past, and how our past traumas haunt us. We can't just stop those traumas or memories from affecting us with a choice. We have to create a new truth about them that we can truly believe in order for them to stop hurting us. Trauma isn't fixed with one conversation, or in one relationship interaction. The best interactions and healing moments can help to peel away a layer, or reveal another layer that needs work. What may look like backsliding is actually working to clear the fester and heal on another layer. That's why Aziraphale especially goes through the wringer multiple times in this fic - each BSOD or breakdown is engaging with a layer or aspect of his multiple traumas and lost false truths about himself. I hurt him because I love him, truly. And because I know this journey and want to give him a chance to embark on it and heal. Crowley is further along from the start, but he still needs healing on multiple levels as well to find who he wants to be and feel safe being who he is. He confronts his past in a different way than does Aziraphale, and what he needs from his past self is different. Finale will be up before the new year.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fanfiction #GO-fic This Is Who You Are #good omens angst #archangel raphael #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #archangel crowley #aziraphale was a demon #the metatron is up to no good #good omens book of life

[sapphosvioletts]

Shaky Hands

Natasha Romanoff x Autistic teen reader

request:

Can you do like a fic where readers hands get so overstimulated they want to remove their hands from their body and nat or steve ( or both?) Help them with it. Maybe they lay on the floor together. Sorry, I'm not great at this.

Word count: 817

Warnings: description of overstimulation

Note: Not every autistic person experiences autism the same. I'm autistic and I am writing from my perspective of how I personally experience autism, but not everyone feels the same as me or has the same perspective as I do.

(sorry this one isn't proofread yet)

I pace around the living room, shaking my hands while trying my best to avoid bumping into any of the furniture. My hands feel like their buzzing, but also too still and numb at the same time. I pace faster and huff, shaking my hands even harder, ignoring the pain in my wrists from just how hard my hands are moving.

My mom, Natasha perks up from her spot on the bed when the sound of pacing just becomes too frequent to ignore. Of course she could notice it, no matter how quiet I was walking, she’s a spy of course. She puts the bookmark in her book and sets it down on her bedside table, before getting up to investigate the noise.

She frowns when she comes up to the sight of me pacing while in obvious distress. She stands in the hallway for a moment, taking a second to think through what to do. Everything Natasha does is planned out, she never goes into anything without at least some knowledge of a plan. And even though all she wants to do is just go and hug her kid and make everything better, she knows that she can’t realistically do that.

Her thought process took merely a couple seconds, and before she knows it she’s walking towards me. “Hey, honey?” She asks softly, in the sweet and calming voice that never fails to make me relax. Her speaking is what finally got my attention, and my head shot up. She stopped herself from visibly frowning at my red, teary eyes, not wanting me to think that I made her sad. 

“Here, come here love.” She gently spoke as she got closer, holding out her warm arms for me to walk into. After taking a second to comprehend her words, I walk right into her arms, crashing into her body. She holds me tight, rubbing my back comfortingly while giving me small, reassuring squeezes. My hands are stuffed between our bodies, and I can’t help but rubbing them together and scratching them. 

Natasha notices me getting more restless and fidgety so she starts swaying us side to side, opting to just simply hold me in her arms while hugging me with the perfect amount of pressure that she knows I love. I cuddle my face into her shoulder with a sniffle, just trying to relax.

After a minute or two of just swaying and rocking together, she pulls away slightly. She of course took notice of how my hands were causing me distress, or at least one of the reasons. She gently leads me over to the couch and sits me down next to her, our shoulders resting against each other. She kisses the top of my hair and whispers small encouragements to me. I can’t find it in me to smile at the moment, but the affirmations make my heart swell.

She then takes my hands in her slightly larger and warm ones, while I watch in curiosity, not knowing what she’s doing. Her face is calm and her body is relaxed though, causing me to copy her relaxed state without even noticing. Her hands start massaging mine, which causes me to relax even more.

I’m no longer focusing on the agony in my hands, instead I’m paying attention to the soothing motions on my hands and how nice it feels. She presses my hands between hers tightly, which feels amazing. Despite how nice it feels, I can’t help but giggle at the feeling. Natasha smiles widely at my reaction, loving nothing more than seeing my smile, and especially my laughs and giggles. She continues to apply pressure to my hands, squeezing them every once in a while as well. 

I lean my head onto her shoulder in front of me, my hands still in hers. She doesn’t stop massaging and squeezing my hands, but finds herself looking down at me lovingly. I’m already at such a contrast compared to how I was only 15 minutes ago. My body and face seem relaxed, content even. And although my foot is shaking on the ground, she can tell it’s not an anxious stim, rather a content stim. 

She continues massaging my hands while also paying attention to what she’s feeling at the moment. She doesn’t know how to describe the feeling, but she loves it. She feels so much love for her child, and it’s a type of love that she thought she would never even get to feel. And now here she is, basking in the feeling. She kisses the top of my head once again, before leaning her cheek against my head. “I love you.” She mumbles, not being able to stop herself. I smile and nudge into her side, not being able to verbally speak at the moment, but needing to show my love for her as well. And she understands, she always does

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #autistic!reader #autistic reader #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #natasha romanoff x daughter #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #natasha romanoff x autistic!reader #natasha romanoff x autistic reader #avengers x autistic!reader #avengers x autistic reader #natasha romanoff x platonic!reader #avengers x platonic!reader #natasha romanoff imagine #avengers imagine #marvel imagine #teen!reader #daughter!reader #platonic!reader

[ao3commentoftheday]

how to have a healthier relationship with your stats page

1. Understand what stats can tell you - and what they can’t

AO3 stats tell you whether or not another user clicked something. That’s it. Hits tell you whether a user clicked the title of your fic. Kudos tell you that a user clicked the little ❤ at the bottom of the page. Comments tell you that a user typed something into a box and then hit the comment button. 

Stats do not tell you why a person did any of those things. They also don’t tell you why a person didn’t do them. You know why you do those things yourself, but there are many types of people in the world and we all have our reasons why we do things. You can’t assume that every other user of AO3 uses the site the same way you do. 

Stats are not a reliable way to find out if you’re good at writing. They’re not a way to tell if you are loved. They have nothing to do with the quality of your work or your worth as a person.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others - or yourself

Because stats are not a reliable way to judge quality or skill or the effort you put into a story, comparing your stats against another author will also not tell you which of you is the “better” author or which of you has a “better” story. They can tell you which story was more popular, but popularity itself has very little to do with skill or quality. 

This is also true of your own work. Chances are very real that the story you’re most proud of is not the story with the best stats. Don’t let one story’s relative success or failure affect how you feel about another’s. 

3. Focus on things you can control instead of things you can’t

Once you’ve posted your story, the reaction to it is out of your control. It will get however many hits, kudos, and comments other people decide to give it and you can’t do much about that at all. 

What you can control, however, is the work you put into the story before you post it. Celebrate statistics like word count or time spent writing or the number of WIP you’ve managed to finish. Those are all numbers that are in your control, that you have the power to alter and affect. 

Find something in every story that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be the whole fic. It could be one particular characterization, a scene, or a line. Maybe you wrote a particularly funny joke or a really moving description or a hot love scene. 

Highlighting positive emotions and being proud of your own work will make you less reliant on the opinions of other people. You’ll develop more confidence, and that will help you avoid the stats spiral in the future. Finding motivations inside of yourself is much more reliable than getting motivation from people who might or might not continue to provide it.

4. If you can’t ignore stats, avoid them

The first time I had an unhealthy relationship with my stats page, I ended up quitting fic entirely for about a year. I still wrote, I just didn’t post anything on AO3. I couldn’t trust myself not to focus on the numbers and make myself crazy, and so I didn’t allow myself to look at them at all. 

The second time I found myself starting down the stats spiral, I knew the signs and I was able to pull myself out of it. I stopped looking at my stats page, but I was able to continue posting work. I still refreshed the page for the first day to see the hits/kudos/comments but after that first day I only returned to the fic in order to post a new chapter or answer another comment. 

There are tools you can use to help you avoid stats. This AO3 skin hides stats entirely. This code hides hits. Here’s one for hiding kudos with additional instructions on how to hide any stats you choose. 

5. Be your own cheerleader

When it comes right down to it, the reason why we focus in on stats is because we’re looking for reassurance. We want to know for sure whether we’re a good writer or not. Unfortunately, our stats are never going to tell us that. 

A lot of us are also told by others that being proud of something we’ve done or liking something that we’ve created is boastful or bragging or other negative personality traits. But there’s a difference between bragging about how good you are and acknowledging your own skills. 

Give yourself permission to like your own work. You might never get that permission from someone else, so you need to take that on yourself. 

Start talking to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend of yours who was working on a fic or a piece of art or doing anything else that requires time and skill. You wouldn’t tear them down, so don’t tear yourself down. Build yourself up. That positive self-talk can be difficult at first, but it’s a habit that pays off over time. 

6. Know that I’m proud of you

It takes courage and strength and determination to have an idea and then to act on it. It’s easy to think. It’s a lot harder to write things down. No matter whether you post your story online or you keep it to yourself. No matter whether you get a thousand hits or a dozen. You’re still amazing, and I’m so glad you took that leap ❤

#writer appreciation #positivity

[buckyownsmylife]

Young and Beautiful - Steve Rogers smut

The one where you were supposed to be a one-night stand, but Steve won't let that happen

Warnings: smut, and a little bit of angst.

A/N: this was our first ever patreon-voted fic, chosen for the month of May! My patreons at the $3 tier get to send me their ideas once a month and two of them end up being voted so I can write one of them each month. June’s fic is the one where Ransom needs to get a sugar mommy, and if you want to suggest a story for our July’s fic, please consider becoming a patreon! Thank you to my darling @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for reading this over for me.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The first time wasn’t a mistake, I could admit to that. Steve had been coming to the same bar where I worked for almost a year now. I knew who he was, of course. Everyone knew - he was hard to miss. But I think what he liked about our run-down place is that no one seemed to care about Captain America and the things he did when he didn’t have a bottle of beer in his hand.

Over here, he was just Steve. And Steve tipped well and drank a lot - I was sure he couldn’t get drunk, no matter how many beers I served him, but he never stopped asking me for more.

So, needless to say, he was adored. Adored by my boss, who was always around to keep watch of his customers and keep them in line. Adored by Luke, who guarded the entrance, for all the nights Steve helped him get rid of men who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. And adored by all the waitresses, for precisely the same reason - and because I always shared my tips with all of them.

Even the kitchen staff adored Steve. Besides, it’s not like he was hard on the eye - all the girls (customers and staff) were constantly fawning over him, but he was nothing short of a gentleman, always.

Actually, he seemed to avoid the members of the opposite sex as best as he could, clearly not interested in whatever it was that they planned to possibly get to do with him. Well, except for me.

He never avoided me. I always figured it was because I was the guardian of the alcohol - we’d even joke about it sometimes, when he came to sit by the bar after politely declining someone’s advances.

“It’s just hard to understand how to date nowadays,” he commented one day after a pretty girl actually asked him out on a date right in front of me, but he refused. I shrugged as I wiped the counter, thinking if there was any advice I could give him.

“It really isn’t that hard. You go out to dinner, walk her home and when you step in front of her door, you ask her for some coffee. She’ll usually do it herself, but if you want to show your interest…” His frown was amusing, to say the least, but I held back my laughter so he wouldn’t be even more uncomfortable.

“A coffee?” Giggling, I nodded. “Before bed? But…”

“It’s a metaphor, Steve. A lady can’t very well invite you into her sheets, now can she?” He blushed three different shades of red when I winked, another giggle escaping. “I mean, she can, but we like to keep some things unsaid - innuendos can be very sexy.”

Two months had passed and if Steve made use of my lessons, I wouldn’t know. He never brought anyone to the bar and never left with any lady who approached him either.

“What can I get ya, Steve?” I’d always ask. I’d never once called him Cap or anything other than the name he used to introduce himself - even though I obviously knew who he was. He always took his time before answering my questions, even if they required a simple yes or no, which amused me to no end.

For a while, I actually believed a gun or one of the buildings the Hulk had undoubtedly thrown in his direction had left him with a difficulty of hearing. But then after my first question, he never seemed to have any problem understanding me at all.

“Just a beer,” he’d say, a small, soft smile as he tried not to stare too much at me, fingers tapping on the counter while I got his order. I appreciated his effort not to make me uncomfortable - I knew he’d seen how often men did that to me. I had no doubt that was why he only ever looked me in the eye from under those huge eyelashes of his.

“There you go.” Always the same routine, we never once deviated from it. Until one night when I was supposed to close the bar and he heard my boss instructing me to be careful.

“There’s been a lot of robberies this late at night. Make sure you lock everything up properly.” I saluted in jest, making the old man laugh and shake his head at me. “See you tomorrow, kid.”

There were only a handful of customers - Steve included, and he was the only one by the bar, so I threw him a quick smile as I wiped the glasses and started to clean the counter.

“Can I get you anything else?” I offered, but he only grimaced in response, leaving me confused. “Is there something wrong?” He stared directly at me without answering for a while before he was able to snap out of whatever it was that had frozen him.

“You’re supposed to leave by yourself at two in the morning?” I chuckled lightly at his concern, avoiding his gaze so he wouldn’t see how it warmed my heart that he’d be preoccupied over me, someone that was a little more than a stranger to him.

“It’s part of the job,” I reassured him. “Well, usually it’s part of Luke’s job. But whenever he has to leave early, it’s my duty to fill in for him.” He nodded, but didn’t make any movement towards leaving. Usually, he would be gone by now, but it wasn’t that extraordinary for him to stay until the hour I left.

This was the first time he stayed this long though, considering I wasn’t the one responsible for closing the bar and I only realized it when I looked around and noticed we were the last two people left in the room.

“Planning on drinking much more?” I joked, trying to gauge if he was going to be much longer, but he seemed startled by my question, looking around to verify the same thing I’d just noticed.

“Oh, no. Not at all.” I smiled, thankful that he was conscious and wouldn’t force me to stay even longer after my shift had finished. “I just figured I could walk you home. It is pretty late, after all.”

My heart warmed up at how sweet and thoughtful this man was. He had no reason to wait for me to finish my job just to walk me home, yet here he was. “Thank you, Steve,” I acknowledged, sending him a grateful grin. “Let me just check the bathrooms real quick. I’ll grab my purse and we can leave.”

He nodded, watching me do as I said and in no time at all we took off together in the direction of my apartment. I wasn’t worried about making small talk with him on the way there - I knew he was a good conversationalist from all the times he had stayed by the bar instead of taking his beer to a table, and I adored the stories he told of his missions just as much as I appreciated how he genuinely cared about what I had to say.

The walk to my place seemed shorter than ever before, and in a few minutes we were standing in front of my door as I searched for my keys in my bag.

“C-Can I…” He murmured as I looked for it, glancing up at him and smiling to signal he should continue even though I couldn’t give him my full attention at that moment. “Would you… Do you have some coffee?”

I was so shocked that my head whipped up to stare at him, eyes wide and unbelieving. Did Steve… Did he… Did he want to have sex with me? “I mean… in your apartment, do you have some coffee in your apartment?”

The thought was so extraordinary that the second I realized his intentions, a fire of desire warmed my lower belly, not because he was Captain America, but because he was an attractive and sweet guy that was way out of my league and I couldn’t believe he was into me.

He kept talking as I kept blinking at him, trying to process what was going on. “’Cause I’d really like to have some coffee… with you… If you want some too…”

His voice got smaller the longer it took for me to answer him, until it disappeared completely and he cleared his throat. “Nevermind.” He was about to turn around and make a run for it, I was sure, but I was able to grasp his wrist just in time, signalling him to stop because I had something to say.

“I would love to make you some coffee, Steve.”

So yeah, the first time wasn’t a mistake. He was way too fucking sweet and I got hot just by seeing how nervous he was to ask me for some “coffee”, incredulous that I was capable of affecting this giant man that much.

So as soon as we were in my apartment, I tied up my hair with the little hair tie I always kept on my wrist during work and got on my knees for him.

And I cherished every fucking second of it.

The way his mouth fell open in a gasp when I reached for his jeans, the little moans he let out as I licked his member… I couldn’t close my eyes, too transfixed by his expressions to miss anything.

The way he pulled me by my hair to devour my mouth, hands so eager to undress me that he ended up ripping my blouse, but it only made me giggle.

The way his groan sounded almost painful when he picked me up, shoved me against the door and penetrated me, filling me so beautifully I hit my head back against the wood and didn’t even notice it.

He got me to cum without almost no preparation, just from the thrill of it all, the stretch of his member inside of me. When I urged him to cum in my pussy, the look on his eyes was enough to get me to cum again, milking him dry as he emptied himself with a growl, forehead dropping against mine while he tried to catch his breath.

I was expecting him to leave immediately or maybe stay for an actual coffee. I wasn’t expecting him to pull out, drop to his knees and start lapping his cum from inside of me, eyes as focused on mine as I had been for him only minutes before.

Burying my fingers in his short locks, I tried to keep myself up despite the way my legs trembled, but Steve just adjusted them so they’d be over his shoulders and held me up with his face buried in me.

I had never cum so many times in a row. But then again, I had never had a man eat his own cum out of me.

I fully intended it to be a one time thing, and that was my plan. I thanked him for eating me out, made him some coffee, giggled at his stories about his friends and for a second it almost looked like we were back at the bar, only the counter was my kitchen table and I was allowed to sit on the other side.

He didn’t ask to stay the evening and I breathed a sigh of relief after I closed the door behind him, ignoring the slight empty feeling that momentarily hit me. This is what I wanted, I reminded myself, and by acting the way I expected him to, he had made it clear that he understood the rules of the dating world he claimed to know so little of.

This was a one time deal. Nothing more.

But then the first night we saw each other at the bar again, it was when he burst through the door to punch some guy who came in just as I was closing, trying to steal the money we had in the vault. I was so fucking relieved to see his face that all I could do was tremble in his arms after the police came to get the robber, and of course I couldn’t let him go after that.

He walked me home and I didn’t even ask anything, just stood on my tiptoes to kiss his lips, using my grip on his shirt to pull him in as he helped me with my clothes.

“You’re so fucking pretty…” He moaned, and perhaps that should have been my first sign, the one that alerted me to stop what I was doing and not make this into a mistake I couldn’t take back.

He hadn’t talked the last time. He had never complimented me before.

“God, your ass…” He groaned as he palmed it, helping me over his lap when he took a seat on my couch, until I could fuse the both of us and ride us to hysteria.

But I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind because it felt so fucking good to be desired by him, to have him inside of me, cumming deep into my pussy only to eat it all out of me again.

It didn’t take long for me to learn about the errors of my way, though. In fact, it started the very next day, when he walked into the bar grinning from ear to ear and made a beeline in my direction.

“Hey, baby,” he greeted, and my eyes went wide as two saucers, especially when I saw him lean over the counter like he intended to peck my lips.

“Hello, Captain.” I quickly turned my back to him, facing the shelves of liquor to pretend that I was looking for something. My heart sank to my stomach as I took in what was happening, what I had just done in my effort to put some distance between us as if last night had never happened. “Can I get you anything?”

The time it took for him to answer almost had me looking at him from over my shoulder, but I restrained myself. “Yeah, you,” he finally said, and I breathed out in surprise. “Why are you acting this way?”

I panicked for a few seconds, reaching up for an already clean glass to attack it with my rag. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tried to reassure the both of us, still incapable of looking him in the eye.

But I could see his massive body by the end of the counter from the corner of my eyes, where he always sat, and I saw him tap the old battered wood with his fingers - fingers he had used to spread me open for his tongue to reach - as he thought.

I hoped he would let it go. I hoped he would not.

“Fine,” he relented, and I froze, uncertain of what he meant. “I’ll come back tomorrow.” My head snapped up just in time to watch him leave, and he didn’t even look over his shoulder.

I tried to tell myself it was for the best. He needed some time to get over whatever the hell it was that he thought he was feeling and tomorrow things would go back to normal. But that wasn’t what happened.

He came back with flowers the next day, and I didn’t have any reasonable excuse not to accept it. He didn’t push for anything, just gave me the bouquet before asking for his usual drink. And then he proceeded to stay the entire evening right there, where he always sat, carefully watching my every move.

For the first time in a while, I broke two glasses in a single evening.

The day after that, he came with a box of chocolates. I couldn’t hide the smile because they were my favorite - I didn’t know how he knew it until he reminded me.

“You told me you liked them right when I started coming to this place.” His eyes were so heavy with a sad feeling that I couldn’t recognize that I had to avert my gaze. It messed with my heartbeat, it left my throat feeling dry.

“Thanks, Captain,” I softly acknowledged it, and I saw the way his grip on the box tightened. I saw it in the way it was slightly crumpled when I took it from his hands, but he didn’t say a word.

There was only so much that he could take, though. And I knew that. It didn’t help that my boss had caught onto his intentions and started to push me to go out on a date with him.

“Why don’t you give the poor guy a chance?” He’d incite, much to Steve’s utter glee.

“Yeah, Y/N. Why don’t you go out with me?” Steve urged, and although he never asked when my boss wasn’t around to initiate the teasing, I knew he wondered.

And the truth was that I wondered about it too. Because everything was screwed up now. When I gave him his beer and our fingers brushed, mine were left tingling. When I looked his way to find his gaze already on me, I shivered.

So yes, the second time was undeniably a mistake, but there wouldn’t be a third time. I’d make sure of it.

Steve’s P.O.V.

I was tired of waiting. I knew I had wanted her since the first time I laid my eyes on her, when I decided to stop at this rundown bar in the hopes of one night of crappy beer without being bothered by anyone asking for autographs or pictures.

I’d come here almost every night when I could escape the tower to watch her work, slowly getting her to warm up to me, and I fell for her personality in the process.

The way she clearly saw me as Steve, and not my title.

The way she always laughed at my stories and shared what had happened in the previous nights with the raucous customers.

The way she seemed to care about everyone and everything that came into contact with her.

So what started as desire became something deeper and for the first time since I was unfrozen, I found myself eager to understand what dating in this new century was like. I asked Sam for advice, and even Tony for any tips he could give me, but their general ideas didn’t matter to me when all I wanted was one single person.

Her.

So I asked her for her thoughts on the matter and was surprised with myself when I put them into practice. I was even more surprised when she accepted my advances and welcomed me into her embrace.

I was sure I’d never been happier than that evening.

But to have her pretend nothing had happened and even worse - treat me like a stranger after I had learned the taste of her skin? Nothing hurt deeper than that.

And still, I understood. I realized then that she hadn’t seen the situation the way that I had. She had thought all I wanted was a one-night deal - well, two-night deal - because I had never shown her anything to make her think differently.

So I set out to do just that. My way this time. And I was just about ready to ask her on a proper date when I was forced away for a whole damn month, having to resort to my hand and my memories of her body to get through the cold nights on the field.

The second I was back in the city, I only had one thing in mind. To get what I wanted, in whatever way she would let me.

“Can we talk?” My voice sounded clipped to my own ears, and maybe that’s why her mouth opened in surprise - or maybe it was seeing me at the bar so early, when there was barely anyone around, after being absent for so long.

“Sure,” she finally accepted, shrugging like it was no big deal, but I knew better than that. She might not know it, but I could read her perfectly, and I knew she was hiding her true feelings even to herself. I knew those feelings were deeper than she had ever felt. I knew they made her scared.

“Not here.” She stopped cleaning glasses then, frozen for a second before she looked around, taking in the fact that no one else was going to need her for a while. There was nowhere to run and maybe I was a jerk for doing this during her work hours, but I was a desperate jerk and I couldn’t wait a second longer.

“Okay.” She sounded small, and I knew what she was expecting to get out of this conversation. Closure, in one way or another. For me to finally let go of her. But I wouldn’t.

I wanted her too damn bad to let her escape like that.

“Go out with me.” I asked the second that the office door was closed behind us, and she immediately started shaking her head. “Yes, please,” I insisted. “Let me show you that I want more from you. I want so much more.”

“I can’t give you more,” was her answer, and she still avoided my eyes as she spoke. “One night, you even had two. That’s all I can give you. Please don’t ask me for anything more.”

“Why?” I asked, and the frustration in my voice was enough to get her to meet my eyes for the first time that evening. “Why are you trying to avoid this? I know you want me, Y/N. You wouldn’t have slept with me if you didn’t. So just tell me why.”

“I can’t,” she insisted, moving towards the door, but I grasped her hand to stop her before she could slip through it - much like she had done that first night, when I thought I’d screwed up any chance I had to ever be with her.

“Tell me why you’re holding yourself back from me,” I ordered, anger and desire creating an explosive cocktail inside of me, making my voice hoarse. I saw her shiver. I watched her break.

“Because it was too fucking good and I swear to God, if you get your mouth on me again, I’m gonna marry you.” Our expressions mirrored one another, eyes wide, mouths hanging open. She couldn’t believe she had let out her feelings like this. I couldn’t believe there was all there was to it.

I dropped to my knees before her.

“Come here.” I shoved her jeans all the way down to her ankles, sending the button flying somewhere. I couldn’t tell where and I didn’t care. All I wanted was to show her that there was nothing wrong with wanting this, with wanting me because as long as she allowed me to, I’d give anything to be with her.

My tongue was so hungry to taste her sweetness again. I licked a stripe between her lower lips before I could even get my hand there, spreading her with my fingers for easier access.

God, she was heavenly. I watched her let her head fall back against the door, much like the first time I was able to be in this position, and my heartbeat fluttered at the realization that this time, I was much closer to getting what I really wanted from her.

“I’ve been terrified of my own feelings for long enough,” I decided to confess, parting from her clit to be able to speak but slipping two digits inside her hole, filling her up, preparing her to welcome me. “I can wait for you to come to terms with yours. But I can’t keep myself away,” I warned, quickening my movements as I chased away the taste of her in my tongue. “So don’t ask that of me.”

Her moan had my eyes sparkling with excitement. I lowered my head to suck her button, see the way it made her thighs tremble on each side of my face.

“So fucking sexy,” I moaned against her cunt. “Come for me, sweetheart. Drench my face.” Her little cry of ecstasy denounced she was about to do just that, so I twirled my tongue around her clit, rubbing my digits against her sweet spot as her body tensed under my ministrations.

“There you go…” I whispered, fascinated with the way she looked after her release. It was like she glowed from the inside, muscles relaxing to accept my caresses when I finished cleaning her with my tongue and rose to my full height.

“Next time you try to pretend something between us didn’t happen, I’m gonna bend you over the counter and spank your ass in front of all of the other patrons,” I warned her before nibbling her earlobe. “Go out with me,” I tried again, and she took a deep breath before answering, looking up at me from under her eyelashes.

“Okay.”

#my fics #steve rogers smut #steve rogers #smut #patreon one-shot #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers reader #steve rogers reader insert #steve rogers reader inserts #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers one-shot