#sorry didnt meant for this to be a rant but its just. something that bothers me

[padfootastic]

My unpopular opinion is that if Peter weren’t fat and ugly then Sirius/Peter would be an extremely popular and mainstream ship, while Wolfstar would be a rarepair and Prongsfoot would stay as it is now - because i see prongsfoot as a ship for people who love to see Sirius in a healthy and balanced relationship. Wolfstar and Sirius/Peter are/would be for people who love the drama and the emotional turmoil.

dude. DUDE. i fully agree with this. i think a large part of how peter is treated/used/characterised stems from his physicality. it's almost like a woke parallel to jkr's beauty morality politics.

i literally cannot even tell u how often i've been annoyed by the way peter gets treated by the marauder fandom, specifically. because yeah, i get not everyone's gonna like a snivelling rat but--the corner of the fandom that operates purely on fanon and has changed everyone's character? yeah, zero excuses there.

not just the fact that peter often gets zero romantic/sexual attachments (and lets not even talk ab the 'ace/aro hcs bc hes fundamentally unloveable/so ugly no one wants him') even in spaces where's he's redeemed, but even if he's still a bad guy, so what? this is the fandom that's casually redeemed regulus black, barty crouch, all the other assortment of DEs. i dont get why peter's always the one who gets left behind. (i mean,,,,i kinda do,,,but yeah, idk what their rationale is)

and then theres also the peter art oh my god. it just. there's nothing technically wrong with any of it, but the way peter--a canonically fat guy--is drawn (often very infantilised and non-sexually, even wehn everyone around him is thirst trapped up) vs say, lily--who's the hot new 'plus size' rep--who always gets to be slim-thicc, very fkn sexy, and just overall fun. it's just. it icks me out, ykno?

and then the relationships, of fucking course the ship would be more popular, dude. like, its classic enemies to lovers, classic passion and intensity that can fall on either side of the coin. u can play around a lot with it. and honestly, peter & sirius had way more interactions/moments/chemistry than remus/sirius, like that's my unpopular moment right there lmao

overall, yeah, i get what u mean and i second it. fat characters are not written the best bc its often just a facsimile of how irl fat people are treated and we all know how that goes.

#peter pettigrew #i use the word woke ironically #bc i absolutely hate it otherwise #sorry didnt meant for this to be a rant but its just. something that bothers me #there's some people here who hate all of them equally and dont have these double standards #this post is not for them #u do u #and the term plus size eugh #personally i am Not A Fan. but thats just me. #fat should be a neutral word #neither good nor bad #plus size just seems. conciliatory #and unnecessary to me #anyway. back to the actual ask #i dont ship any of them #bc i really dont care for peter #just as i dont care for most characters #but idk im just. #i have v jumbled up thoughts about this #bc on one hand im very 'i dont want irl politics in my fiction if i can help it' #but then i get v annoyed by stuff like thsi #idek how to articulate it properly #its not like im calling people who do this fatphobic or bigoted or whatever. i dont think that at all #it just makes me slightly uncomfortable thats all #pen’s asks

[ssamie]

six. “friends die together”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide 

masterlist.           suicide freak!

kenma slowly opened his eyes. the dim rays of the sun were slowly peeking through his bedroom window as he stretched and rolled around his bed, wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito as he felt his eyes slowly fluttering close once again. 

it had been atleast a week since he's actually gotten sleep, and now he's just trying to relish in the feeling of rest before he completely disregards it again. 

all of a sudden, his phone rang. 

"what the.." he mumbled with a groan 

it was currently five in the morning, and he knew kuroo was smart enough not to call him. especially since kenma would usually just be gaming or would just straight up ignore him. 

"hello?" he muttered to the phone, not bothering to check the ID 

"good morning!" y/n's chirpy la-di-da voice resonated from the phone 

immediately, kenma groaned and rolled his eyes. he had to fight the urge of hanging up the phone then and there. 

"what do you want? and why are you calling me so early in the morning?" kenma asked 

"now, now! don't be so stingy kenma-kun!" she laughed "i just wanted to check up on ya, that's all" she said, followed by soft humming of a melody 

kenma blinked as he groggily listened to her words. "oh. okay.." 

"thanks for that, i guess.." he said 

"aww! your voice is all deep and gravelly in the morning! very hot." she chirped 

kenma sighed. he could practically sense the stupid flirty smile appearing on her face. "and you sound oh so happy. as always." kenma chirped back sarcastically

a small smile grazed his lips as she started laughing on the other line. 

"oh, kenma! you're so funny!" she chuckled "when have i ever been happy?" 

"wait what-" 

"anyways, kenma-kun.." she trailed off, her cheerful tone now dropped as an eerily serious and guarded one replaced it. 

"y-yes?" kenma gulped 

"im afraid im in a tight spot as we speak. its quite critical. please come to the location i will send you." she spoke in a monotonous tone 

"huh? wait!" kenma exclaimed. he sat up on his bed, subconsciously reaching for his nekoma jacket which was messily laid out on the foot of his bed. "what are you talking about?" he asked, his hands were shaking, as well as his voice. 

"its a crisis! only you can help!" she said 

"okay. i-i'll be there.." 

humming under her breath, y/n patiently waited for kenma to arrive. she didn't have so much faith at first, but once she heard the soft thumping of feet on the ground, she grinned. 

"w-what happened?" kenma asked through ragged breaths as he skidded to a halt infront of her "a-and what are you wearing?" kenma asked 

he took notice of her rather formal attire, laying underneath the sand colored coat she had. his brows then shot up as he calmed his ragged breathing. 

"is this because of your weird detective work thing? did you get trapped?" kenma asked worriedly. when she didn't answer, he simply panicked even more. "why did you call me?! you should've called those other detective people!" kenma exclaimed 

"i got in myself" she admitted with a small innocent smile 

"what?" kenma deadpanned, now starting to regret running atleast eight blocks just to help her 

"well, you see.. i heard there's a way to commit suicide by getting stuck in an oil drum. so i decided to give it a shot" she said with the same innocent smile. she then chuckled sheepishly as she started sinking deeper into the oil drum. 

"but now that i've wedged myself in this deep, i can't get out on my own" she said 

kenma simply stared her down, looking unamused, tired and annoyed. "i see." he says 

"i think i might die" she pouted as she sank deeper into the drum. 

kenma grunted and sat on the ground, sitting a few feet from the drum she was stuck in. he was kind of impressed on how her whole body hadn't snapped in two yet. 

"well, isn't that what you wanted?" kenma said with a huff of annoyance 

"i like suicide" she said with a scoff, sounding somewhat offended "but i don't like suffering and pain! why would i?" 

"i see" kenma said with a sigh. he sat up from the ground and narrowed his eyes, trying to look for a way to free her from the oil drum

"also, i learned this only after i stuffed myself in here, but it wasn't even a suicide method!" she laughed 

"but, it was actually a torture method from the-" 

before she could even finish her sentence, she was cut off as kenma pushed the oil drum over, sending her and the drum rolling off. he let out a huge breath of air as he cradled his aching hands. 

"ni-nice job, kenma-kun" she squeaked out as she wiggled free of the drum. "but now.. we have only an hour left before school starts" she said as she patted down her clothes and combed her fingers through her hair 

"and i heard from nekomata-san that he has some news that you boys would surely love" she said as she stretched her aching muscles 

"are we really gonna move past the fact that you wedged yourself in an oil drum!?" kenma exclaimed in aggravation 

". . ." she looked at him with a dumb smile before sending him a wink and a thumbs up. 

"yep! we sure are!" 

"i hate you so much" kenma muttered 

she smirked teasingly and loomed over his shoulder "hehehe~ well if you hate me so much, then why go through all the trouble to help me?" she cooed 

kenma scoffed and flicked her away. "because we're.." he trailed off "nevermind.." a small blush covered his cheeks faintly, but it was enough to get her attention. 

she chuckled lowly and poked his cheeks. she narrowed her eyes and tauntingly stared him down. "oya? what's this, kenma-kun? do you like me or something?~" she teased 

kenma flinched and covered his cheeks with his hands "no! no i don't!" he quickly denied "i just thought that.." he muttered quietly

"since we're friends and all.. i thought it'd be right to help you.." kenma admitted bashfully 

stunned from his words, she couldn't really do anything but stare at him blankly with widened eyes. "we're friends?" she asked 

kenma spluttered at her response, suddenly feeling anxious and embarrassed, thinking that he overstepped their 'relationship' 

"um- i mean.. i just thought that since we've been hanging out but.." kenma said nervously. he fiddled with his hands as he looked down at his feet, too embarrassed to look her in the eyes. 

"sorry, i guess i overstepped. sorry for misreading things" he apologised 

finally realising what she's done, she gasped in horror as she looked at his heartbroken expression  "oh my gosh." she muttered "im so sorry!" 

she frantically patted his back, and stroked his hair "i-i meant like- i didnt know you considered me as a friend!" she exclaimed  "i kind of thought you just see me as a suicidal leech or something!" she shrieked 

"im sorry kenma! kill me now!" she exclaimed dramatically 

kenma finally looked up to see her tearing some of her bandages off, only for her to tie it tightly around her neck. 

"im sorry!" she cried as she squeezed tightly, trying to strangle herself to death 

"wait! don't do that!" kenma said in panic. his hands pried the bandages off and hastily threw them away. 

"you don't have to kill yourself over me" kenma sighed 

she sniffled and crushed him in her arms "kenma! you are most certainly my most treasured friend!" she cried 

"i would die for you and with you!" 

"let's not go too far" kenma said with a small smile 

"shall we start with the double suicide now?" she asks, fully ignoring his interjection 

"no <3" 

"fukurodani?" she muttered, looking quite confused and clueless 

"yes. it seems a three-day practice match has been scheduled" nekomata said with a smile  "their coach suggested the idea and who was i to decline, am i right?" nekomata chuckled 

"this will be a good opportunity for the team to train and explore new ways of playing for future tournaments." nekomata then looked at y/n and sent her a close eyed smile. "and a chance for you to test your managing skills, y/n-san" he said 

she nodded in agreement. 

"well then, now that that's settled.. you’re free to go! rest up and eat well! you'll be playing nonstop starting tomorrow" nekomata said as he ushered them out of the gym 

"thanks, coach!" the team yelled 

as the team arrives by the gate, they started to disperse. fukunaga, inouka, teshiro, and shibayama ended up declining the offer of an afterschool hangout. they claimed they needed the rest for upcoming games, so they left them be. 

"bye guys! bye y/n-senpai! see you tomorrow!!" inouka yelled from across the street. the energetic first year was waving both his arms around while shibayama drags him along. fukunaga sends them a quick nod and a small wave before they completely disappear from sight. 

"hm, so what do you guys wanna do?" kai asks with a smile 

"let's eat!" lev suggested with a grin 

"sure. where should we go? i don't really have a particular craving right now" kai said as he looked at his friends expectantly 

"we should eat at the diner near that convenience store" yaku says "it's cheap and they serve great food" 

simply humming to herself, y/n takes a quick look at the boys who seemed to be lost in their own conversations. her (e/c) colored eyes then landed on kenma, who seemed to busy with his game. 

kuroo was holding on his bag, making sure the pudding-head wouldn't walk into oncoming traffic. she smiled at the boy, taking in his overwhelmingly beautiful features. 

yamamoto was beside her, ranting about his friends from karasuno and their 'goddess of a manager' 

"we’re here!" lev unnecessarily announced as he skipped into the said diner.  "what should we eat?" he asks 

"fish-" ; "meat-" 

yaku and kuroo freeze and look at each other. their eyes silently roam one another as they look at the other with judgment. 

"hah? are we really doing this again, yakkun?" kuroo scowled. the taller bedheaded male leaned down to get all up in yaku's face, while the latter simply did the same 

"dont call me that stupid nickname, bedhead!" yaku scowled as well "and fish? pssh, what are you a grandpa?" yaku said with a snicker 

"could you stop making comments proving you lack docosahexaenoic acid?" kuroo sneered in aggravation 

"you're ought to eat more fish to fix that.. maybe even your height problem!" kuroo taunted 

yaku scowled and gripped the taller boy's collar "your stupid face is begging to be hit!" 

"no! kuroo-san, don't let him hit you!" lev yelled "he's feral!" 

"oi! shut up!" taketora hissed as he covered lev's mouth with his hand 

yaku turned to face lev, evidently irked and angered by his comment. "hah?! come here, you tall lampost! -" 

"wah! yaku-san i didnt even do anything!" lev exclaimed with teary eyes as the shorter boy continued to kick him 

kai and taketora then took initiative to calm their friends down. partially because they didn't want anyone injured. but mostly because they were fighting infront of the diner, and it was starting to get embarrassing. 

"ke-n-ma~" she cooed in a sing song tone 

kenma sighed and quickly glanced at her, before averting his attention back to his game "what?" he said 

she smiled and laced their arms together. she then pointed to a bridge not so far away from where they were standing. "you see that bridge?" she asked "and the pretty river under it?" 

"oh god. i see where this is going." kenma groaned. he turned off his game and followed her finger, eyeing the bridge she was talking about. 

"wouldn't it be so nice if we just jump off-" 

"how about we don't do that?" kenma cut her off with a sigh 

"but you're my friend right?" she whined childishly "don't friends die together?!" 

"how about we don't die at all. doesn't that sound better?" kenma tried to convince her with a sheepish smile 

her smile fell as she narrowed his eyes, seemingly disgusted and offended by his statement. 

"what? no, not at all." 

#haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #haikyu x y/n #haikyu x you #kenma x y/n #kozume kenma #kenma #kenma headcanons #hq kenma #hq x you #hq headcanons #hq fluff #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #osamu dazai #anime #anime x reader #kurotsuki #kuroken #kuroo testuro #kuroo fluff #akaashi fluff #akaashi keiji #nekoma #chuuya nakahara imagines #tw: sui mention #tw: sucidal ideation

[algernoninwonderland]

one thing that bothers me about ML specifically how they handle Marinette being half Chinese. I mean she knows nothing about her culture, which isn't uncommon for the children of immigrants unfortunately... but what does bother me is its treated as a joke. Marinette's crush knows Chinese better than she does, and this is treated as quirky and cute. Marinette can't speak to her extended family, didnt even know "Sabine" wasn't her mother's given name, she doesnt eat any traditional Chinese food, no holidays, no culture that we can see her participating in the show itself. This stuff can and does happen IRL because of assimilation but in real life it is uncomfortable/traumatic. I understand that it's a children's show, but if they're going to include aspects of assimilation without any of the gravity, it feels like tokenism. sorry for the rant, I really like your blog!

Don't apologise, it's a very well-articulated rant!

Marinette becomes French-Chinese when it's relevant to the plot, otherwise she's just French. All characters gain attributes when the writers want to create plot lines or expand on a character's, well, characterisation, and while this is somewhat okay in some cases (Kagami likes to draw, for instance), something inherent to the lead character's identity (and treated as a progressive marketing point, I should also note) shouldn't be treated the same way Kagami's passion for drawing is.

Adrien being better at Mandarin than Marinette is meant to show how clever he is (and yeah, rich kids tend to be multilingual, so it would make sense for him to speak Mandarin, I don't mind that at all) but it takes away from Marinette's character. Or rather, it raises the question of why she wouldn't know at least a few words, and that question is never answered. Because the writers probably never asked themselves that question in the first place.

The thing is, it's a show made by mostly white middle-aged French people, which exists in a media landscape in which the stories of children of immigrants were basically unheard of when they grew up and are now mostly present in novels and graphic novels, very rarely mainstream television and cinema. So, while it indeed sucks and Marinette's character reeks of tokenism, it sucks in an unsurprising fashion. It doesn't have to be that way.

Thanks for enjoying my posts!

#ml #miraculous #ml criticism #ml critical #i guess #i mean not really #marinette dupain-cheng

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Shikamaru with an Uchiha!S/o

“I saw that you did a Yamanaka!s/o for that anon, it was great! Can I ask for another one with Shikamaru, but this time with a Uchiha!s/o? Like, idk, if Sasuke had a twin sister and she stayed on the village, but she's a shinobi too? And she uses a sword like her brother, and some people of the village look at her suspiciously because of what her brother did? Thank you!!!” -anon

This came out kinda way longer then i meant it too be and wasn’t 100% focused on you and shikamaru so im sorry about that. 

Oh b o y

Where do i even start?

Being an uchiha, especially directly related to sasuke did not make you look good what so ever

You two were close at one point, inseparable even, but once your elder brother slaughtered your whole clan, you both kinda drifted a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, sasuke still cared for you and vice versa but he was much more cold and closed off about his feelings

No more “lets train to impress nii-san, y/n-chan” type of shit anymore

You still tried to remain a bit positive, and be nice to others unlike your brother

You didn’t agree with wanting to kill Itachi, because what good would that bring? How would killing someone because they killed solve anything?

During the first few years of school, shikamaru might not care much for you

Just another classmate in his eyes

Might even have a few negative thoughts in the back of his mind since you guys are twins

He never cared for sasuke since he’s never anything but an ass to people

And when he’s not he’s acting like a cocky shit

He thought you guys acted the same but that proved to not be the case when he saw you outside of class once

He was out getting some dango at a new place with choji and thats where he saw you

He didn’t really want to greet you but much to his surprise you greeted them with a smile

Even offered some of your dango and choji was extremely grateful for that

You guys held a pleasant conversation and ever since then have hung out at the dango place after school

After you guys became official shinobi, you didn’t have time to hang out every day but you did when you had the chance

You once got shikamaru to wear his headband actually on his head instead of his arm and boy did he look stupidly handsome

During some point in the chunnin exams, you noticed your brother’s desire for power has grown an alarming amount

It was no longer “lets train and ask our sensei’s to give us jutsu” but “I will do anything and everything in order to gain more strength”

It honestly scared you and so you went to shikamaru and ranted about it

He acted annoyed that you went on and on about someone he didn’t care for, but did truly listen to your words

“Don’t worry, its just his teenage angst faze kicking in.” “...maybe”  “I’m pretty sure everyone gets it, it’ll pass” “Even you?” “my emo faze lasted three whole minutes as i watched choji eat the food i was looking forward to all day”

Sasuke basically stopped showing emotions to you after the exam and it really saddened you

He basically treated you as someone he lived with

Not family or friend but like “oh thats my room mate i guess”

You were out with shikamaru when sasuke ran off to find naruto, he didn’t bother to explain and you honestly didn’t care

He wants to brawl with the loud blonde? Go for it

What you didn’t know is that he would run into Itachi

Or that itachi joined some terrorist group

You didn’t hear this news until later on when your sensei sat you down and explained the situation

shikamaru cheered you up as best as he could

when the Nara became chunin, instead of sitting besides sasuke all day who was recovering from a mission, you hung out with him

Sasuke wasnt that injured anyways and he may or may not have told you to quit worrying about him

called him handsome and he basically turned into a tomato 

got some bbq with his friends and when ino started commented about minding your weight and looks and stuff you kinda became slightly insecure in the moment

he cheered you and choji up by making a few jokes

you gave him a peck on the cheek and dude he had such a dumb smile on his face

ah man ive written too much and havent even reached shippuden yet im sorrryyy

lets speed threw this then

when sasuke left the village you were distraught but he did his best to cheer you up

reassured you he and his team will bring him back

you wanted in the mission and he was hesitant about it

you were a damn good kunoichi and you also had the sharingan too so that could help 

he eventually agrees

when yall fail the mission you cry because your emo duck-bitch of a twin didnt even bother to say good bye

Shikamaru does his best to make you feel better but he feels so guilty

he sincerely apologizes and chokes up a bit when hes talking about how he failed the mission and broke his promise on getting him back

you hug him and say its okay

from then on you guys get closer than ever

You dont remember exactly when but you got a sword, almost like a katana 

you learn how to use it and love it

Add some fire or lightning to it, man you feel like a bad ass

you carry it everywhere with you

little do you know you basically chose the same sword as sasu-gay

by the time shippuden starts, shikamaru awkwardly asks you out and you agree

as much as shikamaru loves you, the village doesnt think to well of you

your eldest brother slaughtered your clan and joined a terrorist group

and now your twin goes rouge and is proceeding to head down a darker path with orochimaru

they probably expect you to do something similar

some people even think that you only stayed in the village so you can give them intel and sell out the leaf’s secrets

basically the village cares for you as much as Tobirama did for the uchiha

not too much. 

in fact if you were gone they could finally be free of any uchiha

If your bothered by those rumors or things people say, shikamaru can’t really do anything to stop them

But he can do his best to take your mind off it

Might get you some dango and say to go cloud watching, or nap under some tree to let you relax

But remember this isn’t a one way relationship, you do stuff for shikamaru as well

When he was feeling stressed (though he didn’t really show it) about planning the next chunnin event, you gave him a massage and just let him relax

You got him his favorite food and took him to his favorite hill

He doesn’t really rant or talk a lot about his problems

He’s too lazy too and doesn’t feel like its that important

You make it clear to him that every opinion he has matters

You two some times go on little small lunch dates

Ino and choji are always somewhere in the background watching

Ino probably comments that you got the uchiha good looks and with out thinking shikamaru just agrees

Definitely became embarrassed when ino squealed and shook him around

Ah man there is actually to much drama around sasuke and itachi in shippuden and im lazy so lets forget about that 

I think shikamaru with an uchiha!s/o would probably be an 8/10 experience depending on how angsty you get

#Shikamaru x reader #shikamaru headcanons #shikamaru #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines

[rant-2-me]

My mental state has just worsened over the days, though I'm not sure why, and I just feel so unmotivated and lacking any energy to practice any self care other than napping, and also feel anxious because I'm not studying enough.. feel like I'm just 1/4th assing my responsibilities.. And when someone asks me how I'm doing, sometimes I blurt out that I'm not fine, and the guilt I feel afterwards for making them worry, so I find myself withdrawing from initiating conversation with them, even though I really want to, and this makes them worry about me more.. I just don't know anything anymore, everything feels too much, yet I can't rant in a clear conscience without feeling guilty for bothering them, and thinking how I don't deserve to complain because they have had so much worse (yes I know pain is relative, but I feel so horrible, like a whiny child, who doesn't know how to be content with her blessings)......

Sorry I know it's a lot.. feel free to delete it if it's triggering or making you uncomfortable in any way... I just needed to get it out..

My lovely nonnie, im so, so glad you sent this ask. and got it all out of your system. yeah this sounds cheesy but like ive been there, with not knowing how to reach out—im proud you had the courage to send this ask. girlboss vibes.

also this ask took a while to answer and im so so sorry about that, but I didnt want to do anything less than the best for you, so let's just jump right in <[:)

Lacking motivation, god I've been there, but doing self care is super super important so here is a how-to, hon.

How to do selfcare when you’re not motivated to:

1. Be a little “gross.”

Gross is in quotes because it’s so subjective, but you undoubtedly have a few behaviors you consider kind of gross regardless. Now’s the time to do them without judgment. For me, that’s meant showering less, eating weird food combos (sometimes in bed), and letting my brows and mustache grow magnificently unruly. For you, it could mean doing something you normally judge yourself for or cutting back on activities you only do for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to allow “socially acceptable” behaviors to rule you.

2. Eat whatever the hell you want.

This should be a rule always, but I’m not going to pretend there aren’t societal, social, and personal pressures that go into why we eat what we eat. Try to shut down the voice that judges or polices what you’re eating right now. We’re in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. If dinner has to be some slices of cheese and deli meat eaten in front of the open fridge, so be it. If you have a lot of cravings and are snacking more than you normally would, cool. If pre-pandemic you decided you were going to stick to a certain meal plan and it’s just not happening anymore? Don’t beat yourself up.

Yes, what we eat is connected to our mental health, and I don’t want to discount that—but if the stress of eating healthfully is making you feel like crap anyway, whether that’s because you can’t fathom cooking or don’t have the means to shop for certain foods during isolation, just eat the sleeve of Oreos and try again another day. It’s okay.

3. And wear whatever you want.

Or, more realistically, wear whatever you can. Even if it means wearing the same ratty sweatpants for a whole week. Or month. Maybe you started all this out aspiring to get dressed every day to work from home productively, or maybe you have a whole collection of comfortable loungewear you feel guilty for not utilizing. Whatever arbitrary rules and expectations you’ve set for yourself, you can throw them out.

On the other hand, maybe you need to quiet the voice that tells you there’s no point in getting dressed or feeling presentable. If it helps, by all means, play with your look, wear awesome or weird outfits, do your hair and makeup or whatever activity might feel a little silly given your current reality. In the middle of a pandemic, nothing is a waste of time if it makes you feel good.

4. Use shortcuts to avoid creating chores.

In my first week or so of working entirely from home, I was baffled by just how messy my apartment got. How on earth were so many messes piling up when I wasn’t even doing anything but working, sleeping, and eating? I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my small tidying routines had become casualties to the pandemic. And, it turns out, slacking on the little ways I pick up after myself every day (such as doing the dishes right after I use them) added up quickly.

Instead of forcing myself to stick to the same levels of tidiness that I used to maintain, I’ve found shortcuts. For example, I use paper plates and plastic cutlery when I feel too fatigued to wash dishes so they don’t sit in the sink for days on end. Or I stick to the same two “outfits” to avoid clothes piling up when I’m too depressed to put them away every day. If you can find a small way to go easy on yourself, even if it feels a little wasteful or indulgent or gross, it’s okay to tap into those shortcuts right now.

5. Be kind to yourself if your place is messy or dirty.

I won’t lie: I’m someone whose space impacts my mental health a lot. Typically, keeping my apartment clean helps keep my mental health in check and letting my apartment get gross makes me feel worse. That’s still true in a lot of ways, but to adapt I’ve been trying to be mindful and accepting of where I’m at. And it’s…helped?

It turns out that taking the pressure off does a lot to mitigate the guilt and some of the other negative mental health effects I usually experience. In practice, it involves a lot of talking to myself. Instead of seeing my apartment turning into a depression cave and immediately thinking, “Oh, God, I need to clean up, this is so disgusting, I’m a monster for living like this, of course I feel depressed,” I go for kindness. I think (or even say out loud because, well, desperate times), “Of course my apartment is a mess right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it. I can handle the mess for now.”

6. Accept your new sleep schedule.

idk anyone whose sleep hasn’t been screwed in some way by all of this. Anxiety, depression, fatigue, pent-up energy from sheltering in place, tech use, new work responsibilities, screwy schedules…pretty much every aspect of our new reality can impact our sleep. Some people are sleeping a lot more, some are sleeping a lot less, and some are cycling through both extremes. Oh, and the temptation of naps! It’s all there.

Trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule during all of this is a worthy endeavor—and more power to you if you’ve figured out how—but there’s a good chance that it feels impossible.

By “accepting” your new sleep schedule, I don’t mean pretending it doesn’t suck; I mean doing what you can to be gentle on yourself about it. For me, acceptance has looked like watching some comfort tv and reading my favourite books at 2 a.m. instead of staying in bed and anxiety-spiraling about how I can’t sleep. Is it ideal? No way. But I’m not going to waste energy stressing about something I currently can’t control.

7. Give yourself plenty of room to do absolutely nothing.

I’ve given myself permission to do a whole lot of nothing. That includes getting rid of the pressure to be productive and practice self-care, yes, but in a broader sense, it also means not forcing myself to actively “adjust” every day.

Some days, I just need to do nothing but feel my feelings. Or avoid feeling my feelings. Or stare at the ceiling. Give yourself space to do (or not do) whatever you need to.

also, nonnie? my love?

Never feel guilty about telling someone who cares about you when you don’t feel okay.

People who genuinely care about you—and I’m sure they are many—will care if you aren’t feeling good, there are always going to be people who care about you, who want you to be okay, that’s why they ask, why people make rant, why “how are you?” is such a common question.

But if you do need to talk, but you feel like you’ll “burden” people who you do talk to, here’s a guide to ranting.

Guide to ranting:

1. Pick the right person. Someone who’s in the right headspace to listen to you, you could also pick someone who cares about you—if you’re anxiety tells you nobody cares about you, pick someone who “should” care about you in your relationship, e.g: a friend you’ve had for a long time, a friend who’s told a few of their problems, or friend you might not feel close with, but seems very kindhearted and a good listener.

2. Pick the right time to talk to them, so you can have their undivided attention. If they are busy—as most people will be with something—they’ll have a hard time giving you good advice and listening to you. Ask them when they are free, and then ask them:

3. “hey, can we talk? I’m not mad or you or anything, it’s just that I have been not feeling great, and I just want to rant to someone about it.” and “No pressure to say yes, you might have your own stuff to do deal with.” to make sure they are the right person to talk to.

4. It’s ok to test the waters. Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.

5. You never know how your friend will react to what you say.While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longerterm reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.

6. Look for ways to take action. Don’t get me wrong, ranting can be amazing for you, but on its own may not solve your problem.

But maybe venting to people isn’t for you. No matter! There are other ways to get out emotions:

Ways to rant without talking to anyone

1. Cry it out— simple and rewarding. When the baggage is just too heavy to carry cry it out. It can help you ease the pressure and ease your mind to think straight after days of holding that frustration in.

2. Work out — easy and fun. tire yourself out and release all the frustration in working out! This is going to be so satisfying for you as you try and punch, kick, balance, lift, and breathe those frustrations away.

3. Clean & rearrange — practical and can be fun. we get frustrated by so many things and one thing that can truly help clear our minds is to have a clean place where we can stay and live for the moment to breathe. Clean your room, rearrange your things and you’ll be surprised by the satisfaction this brings — a signal of a new beginning.

4. Scribble — simple and fun. Make scribbles, doodles, drawings, take a pen or a pencil, and let go. It does not have to be “good” art or professional at all. Just draw whatever comes to heart, sunflowers or clouds or rainbows—anything.

5. Write it down — fun and simple. Let those words out of your head and just live in the moment.

How to fight the lack of motivation.

1. Don't fight the lack of motivation.

If you feel down or unable to muster tons of energy, let it be ok. Be easy on yourself and acknowledge that it's ok to have a dip, especially at this time of the year.

2. Once you have accepted your slump, get to the bottom of it.

Ask yourself, "What is the root cause of this sluggish feeling?" Go deeper than the obvious reasons. Is it related to work? Your personal life? Relationships? It might also just be the weather. Get clear on what areas of your life you're feeling the most resistance.

3. Dig into that area. What is not ideal about this aspect of your life? What would make it better?

Make a list of how you'd like your current situation to improve--and be specific. If you truly can't find a reason to be less than enthusiastic, then accept your feelings and let them pass with time.

4. Take your list of what is missing and go through it.

What is holding you back from being able to create the things that are missing in your life?

5. Get support for creating the life you want.

Do some research and find an expert to help you. Even though they love you, friends and family aren't objective enough, and they tend to give advice that is a reflection of their own life and insecurities.

6. Think of current habits that are contributing to a less-than-ideal life.

Maybe it's fear, laziness, or not having enough confidence. Pick one to focus on.

7. Address this habit over the next 2 months.

They say it takes 28 days to create a new habit, but this varies from person to person. If you focus on it for two months, you are sure to build the neural pathways needed to call it a new way of being.

8. Buy a book, read articles or do some research on this particular behavior or feeling.

Read about the common causes of this habit as well as the proven ways to bust through and work around it.

9. Create a plan around shifting your current habit.

Make sure that changing this habit ultimately helps you move forward in the area of your life that is not ideal. The energy from clarity, awareness and then action will immediately get you feeling more motivated, no matter what.

10. When all else fails: make a list of activities that excite you, and do one of them right now.

Talk to a fun friend, dance around at home, workout, watch a funny YouTube video, tackle something on your to-do list. Accomplishing something will give you a hit of dopamine in your brain. If you're too overwhelmed by your day, sit for five minutes and meditate. Put on some soothing music and breathe.

okay, that's all nonnie, I hope you feel the lust for life in your lungs, please have all my love, i hope this helped, this ask took a while, but it was worth if it helps

and if you need to dont worry to send another ask, if you like spam the inbox!! queen!!!

take care, much love my sweet honey, bye <3

—*putting daisies in your hair as they leave* mod peppermint <[:)

#mod peppermint #ask #anon #rant

[snazzamazing]

Most of you have noticed already but there has been a huge lack of me posting recently. I have been having one of the most toughest artist times for a while. I've in this mood where I would be having major art block bit lots of motivation at the same time. When those two moods combine into one, it just makes one big mess of chaotic emotions. It's been going on for a long time. I'm stuck with my art at the moment. I'm just going to come clean and say it but doing art lately has been feeling like a tight and complicated stressful schedule for me. For months and months I've been having a mindset where I feel like I NEED to be posting constantly because I fear that if I dont, people would leave me. I fear that my account would just die and that my content wouldn't be relevant anymore. I hate that feeling. My art has been seeming like it's only meant to be posted to show that I'm active. My text posts or me answering questions now made me realize that I'm not even doing those for fun anymore! I'm only posting them to let people know that I'm still here. It really does seem like I'm working for some big company and that I have to post my work constantly and have to make sure it's all coming out perfectly, and its stressful. Now this is nobody's fault, this is just how I feel now.

I like to look back at some really old posts/art of mine to remember what it was like to feel more free. I miss the feeling of not caring about people's opinions on my interests. I miss the feeling of posting whatever I wanted and posting whenever I wanted. I want to go back to that and I am for sure going to work hard on getting back to that. I've honestly have been so scared to post art now. I miss posting about ships I like, about stupid comics, about my silly fnaf ideas, about my other interests but people's judgments and opinions all of a sudden matter to me now. It has started being that way ever since my account started getting bigger and bigger. I would get attacked for bringing up a thing I like or a thing I'm into and it really scared me and made me not want to share my opinions or interests ever again. I absolutely despised constantly having that feeling. That all ends now. I want to be down to earth with everyone because ya know, I'm human too.

Okay now let's talk about what I wanna do with my art. My art has been feeling repetitive and bland to me. I dont want that. For the past time I would mention stuff like "posting this soon!" Or "get ready for a new post Tomorrow!" And then never post it ever. Why? Because plans dont work out all the time. I only post art I'm satisfied with so if my art takes forever to post or just gets cancelled on posting then that's that. I do feel bad, but I'd rather have art up that makes me happy too. The fnaf 2 art I said that I was gonna post? Yeah, not happening. It's not turning out as I wanted so sorry for missing out on the fnaf 2 anniversary:(

Speaking of fnaf, I am still going to continue drawing it. But I've been wanting to draw other content too for the longest time. The reason why I dont post other content more is because nobody is interested in it. It doesnt get as much attention as my fnaf art. That used to not bother me but the thing is I cant keep doing fnaf content forever so I care now. I want to post more about my ocs and their wacky world. I want to post about other fandoms, even fandoms that I'm not even into! I have been dging to post overwatch but held back on that because the whole blizzard controversy happened and I was scared that people would hate me to post overwatch at such a bad timing like that. I've been into overwatch for years and have been wanting to post art about it but didnt because I was very self conscious on my human style. But now that I figured it out, things went all over the place. For those of you who dont know, I've also had an overwatch blog years ago but deleted it later cause I didnt like how the blog turned out. I am going to post overwatch art in the future cause ive enjoyed the game for years now. What blizzard did was terrible and I'm not on board with it so please dont hate me, I just really like the OW characters. ANYWAY, I WAS HAVING A PANIC ATTACK AND RANTED OFF TRACK BUT YEAH. I WANT TO EXPAND MY ART A LITTLE.

And last thing. I've said it before, but I HATE feeling like my art has to be on a schedule where theres deadlines and where I have to post constantly. I'm having mini burnouts. So to all those people who sent messages about me not posting anymore or about my account dying, I want to let you know that my account is still alive and will have posts. Please understand that if I am taking forever to post something new, I am trying to figure things out. I am trying to figure out time management for school and art. I am trying to figure out things on my art style. I am trying to figure out new ideas for big projects I wanna do. I am trying to figure myself out and I dont need to be rushed. I am an artist and I am free to do what I want and post whenever I want. Art is for fun and for stressing myself out.

THERE, THERE I FINALLY RANTED IT ALL OUT. It was an extremely long rant, but I really needed to get it off my chest. Again, nobody is at fault here and nobody is forcing my wack behavior to be like this, it's just some thoughts I need to get out of my head. You are all important and matter to me so I have to be honest with everyone. I cant keep hiding away. I'm just some teen wacko girl that wants to draw characters and be friends with you cool weirdos :)

Love you all💖

Edit: I am so sorry if my rant made no sense and is all over the place or if it somehow upset people, that wasnt my intent. Its 2am and I'm all panicky so I had to rant sO THAT I CAN SLEEP

[rvnjun]

nct 127 reacts | gf overhears them call her clingy

request: Hiii! Can I request something where the 127 calls the gf clingy (but she overheard it) and she distances herself , barely talking to them and they don’t know why?:) warnings: angst? authors note: sorry this took so long babydoll and I changed up the req a bit!  Feedback and reblogs are very appreciated 

T a e i l

Taeil stared at your figure on the couch, your hands tightly curled around the remote and your eyes glued to the movie on the television. Something was wrong but he couldnt put his finger on it. He knew that there was something different about you but he didn't know what. “Y/n?” he called out, awaiting your response. You didn't even him spare him a glance as you mumbled a ‘huh’. “Are,,,aren't you gonna come and greet me?” he asked, voice wavering. Taeil hated how he sounded but he finally realized what was causing him a bother, you hadn't been greeting him when he arrived home anymore. “What's wrong?” he asked right after realizing what was the problem. Normally you were the type of person to not just burst out your emotions like that but before you could collect yourself, the tears were already dripping down your cheeks. “I,,I,,I-” you stopped for a second to collect your breath “-I overheard what you told Taeyong and im sorry for being so clingy.” Taeils eyes wavered at your words “Baby I didnt mean it like that,,Im sorry that I made you feel that way. I love how clingy you are, it shows me how much you love me,” Taeil softly spoke, pulling you in for a gentle hug.

T a e y o n g

Taeyong loved how clingy you could be, some days he wanted nothing more than to be in your arms. Afterall, it wasn't easy being the tough and strong leader of over 16 wild boys. Your arms were a safe haven, the one place we he truly felt like he could relax and not have to worry about anything. However, when Taeyong was truly feeling stressed he would take the anger and worries out on things that didn't make him angry. Which is how he ended up in the situation he was in. Tears burning your cheeks and eyes red and puffy. Your arms were tightly crossed around your chest as you struggled to get the words out. Taeyong hated seeing you this way and it pained him even more to know that it was his fault. “Y/n what you overheard was a private conversation with Johnny that I said under an enormous amount of stress and it wasn't true,” he calmly explained. Your tears momentarily halted as you brokenly asked “Are you sure?” in reassurance. Taeyong didn't say anything but open his arms for you. Immediately you ran to his arms as he tightly held you “I'm so sorry, Y/n.”

J o h n n y

Johnny sighed as he rubbed his temples. There was so much going on his life and he just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle with you. But you were angry with him and he couldn't figure out why. Between you and work he felt like he was being torn apart. Sighing heavily he looked up at you “Y/n I need you to tell me what's wrong otherwise I can't do anything about it,” Johnny stated trying to help the situation. “Im just being less clingy, that's what you wanted, right?’ you asked in a slightly sarcastic tone of voice. Johnny's brows furrowed as he racked his brain for answers, why would you think,,,,,Mark. “What did Mark tell you?” his anger was bubbling a little more. “Mark didn't tell me anything. I went to the dorms to drop off some stuff that you left when I heard you tell him I was annoyingly clingy so I left,” you explained the situation. “Y/n I,,I guess I didn't realize how much I love your clinginess until you stopped in. Im sorry,” he sighed while the weight finally lifted from your shoulders. You smiled and opened your arms, missing giving your giant teddy bear of a boyfriend hugs.

Y u t a

He stared out the window with a blank look on his face. The image of your sadden expression burning into his mind. It was his fault, really. You guys got into a pretty bad fight and he was just upset over that. While ranting to Sicheng about you and the whole ordeal he said that you were “overly clingy to the point it was creepy.” What he did not expect was for you to go to the practice room to apologize for the fight, overhearing the comments he made. Your face shown pure agony, his heart breaking more every millisecond. Regret. He felt regret that he didn't run after you to explain himself. “Im creepy,,huh?” your voice sounded shattered as you spoke with seemingly no emotion. “Y/n,,I didn't mean it like that I was just upset. You're not creepy and I don't know why I even said that,” Yuta said, now the one crying.”I mean at the time I meant it but now that i've calmed down I don't,,,can you please forgive me?” Yuta added hopelessly. Your whole body felt tired and like you'd spent the past hours running miles. You knew Yuta, that sometimes he said things he didn't mean. Almost like you were being pulled to him you wrapped your arms around his sitting figure, his head resting in your chest. “Im glad you dont care that i'm clingy”

D o y o u n g

Doyoung stared at the menu as he continued to talk about his relationship. He confided in Taeyong with private and personal problems, and trusted his advice. Sat at a table a few rows back your grip on the glass began to tighten the more he spoke. Sitting across from you, your dear friend watch with a saddened expression. “I thought things between you both were going good?,” she questioned, voice laced with obvious confusion. You didn’t say anything but placed some money on the table and sat up to leave. You couldn’t bare to stay there any longer, hearing the things Doyoung was saying about you was really hurting you. Once you arrived at your shared apartment you laid in bed and quietly wept. After a few hours your phone lit up showing that Doyoung was calling. Rolling to your side you ignored it, not wanting to talk to him just yet. A few more hours had passed when Doyoung barges into the apartment, confused and worried as to why you never answered his calls. “Y/n?,” he called our softly, carefully pushing the bedroom door open. Even in the dark room he could make out your silhouette in the bed. “Hey what’s wrong?,” he asked already knowing something was up. Despite wanting to yell at him you turned over and looked him dead in the eyes “Why are you being so clingy?” Was what you had asked with ill intentions. Immediately he understood your reasons behind not answering the phone. “You weren't supposed to hear that,” he simply said. You felt the bed dip as he took a seat upon the comfy thing. “Yeah and what else haven't I heard that I wasn't supposed to? What else have you been saying?” Doyoung could tell you were rightfully upset. “Y/n,,I,,I did mean it when I say you're clingy, but If I had a problem with it wouldn't I have told you? Im a straight up person,” Doyoung confessed, hands reaching over towards your figure. It was silent for a moment as you processed his words. Sighing heavily you rolled to face him  “Do you promise that it doesn't bother you severely?’ you questioned earning a nod from Doyoung. He leaned down a placed a gentle kiss on your cheek “I mean it.”

J a e h y u n

He always got a little ancy with the interviewers starts asking questions about their dating life. Its a question every idol dreads to hear but has to sit through anyway. Jaehyun, he is always tried to make a joke of it. He may have made it funny for all his fans but all his joke did was hurt the person he cared most about, you. You haven't been answering his texts or calls since the day that video went up. He pulled the mask tighter over his face and rushed to your apartment. Technically he wasn't supposed to leave the dorm today but he wanted to see your face. “Y/n,” he called out while banging on your door. “Y/n,,please open the door,” he said with more desperation. You slowly walked to the door,,feet stopping at the edge as you stared at it. “I know what i said hurt you and im sorry about that,” Jaehyun added, not even sure if you were there. Pressing your back against the door you slid down, Jaehyun doing the same on the other side. “I shouldn't have said that  gf who is clingy would be the worst, because for me, a gf who is clingy is the best. A gf who is clingy is the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Jaehyuns voice sounded broken. He needed to see your face, he needed to hug you and make sure everything was okay. The second he heard the sound of the door unlock his heart raced with excitement. You opened the door and pulled him in for a hug. Jaehyun tightly squeezed back and placed kisses on the top of your head. “Oh my god I missed you so much,” he said while bending down to place a kiss on your lips

W i n w i n

Winwin wasnt the type of person to be honest with his emotions but you could always read what he was thinking. “Y/n,,I didnt mean to call you clingy,,yes sometimes you a get a little attached but the only times it bothers me is when im already in a bad mood,” Winwin quietly explained. He felt upset with himself for ever saying those things about you when he knew that they were some of the things he loved the most. You wiped the tears from your eyes using the paws on your sweater. “Are you sure?” you questioned, unsure if he was being truthful. You could tell in the way he looked and in the way he was acting that something was bothering him. Winwin then did something that took you by surprise, he was never one to initiate romantic things first, it was always you. Reaching out, Winwin grabbed you by your waist and pulled your body flush against his. He looked into your eyes with an intense emotion before slowly leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips, his tongue teasingly darting out. You two stayed like that a few seconds longer than you should have but when he pulled away you were flushed and out of breath. “I really do mean my apology, Y/n. I love you,” he quietly said, seemingly embarrassed with his previous actions.

J u n g w o o

Jungwoo stared at you for a few seconds, he brain racking over everything that had happened. “Why,,why are we breaking up I thought everything was fine?” he asked, tears already flowing like a hydrant. Seeing his broken face broke you even more. Your voice, barely above a whisper, finally came out “Because our communication isn't the best,,and no good relationship has bad communication.” Jungwoo hands grasped out for your wrist holding you in place and not letting you leave. “What should we tell eachother then? Y/n I cant have you go, you're the only thing that's holding me together right now,,please,” his voice cracked and he looked shattered. Your chest heaved up and down as loud sobs erupted from you. “I accidentally read your texts and I saw you tell Lucas I was clingy,,” you confessed, convinced that he would want to break up then. “That's what this is all about? Goodness Y/n you should've talked to me first. Yes you get clingy but tis not a serous issues, what's a serious issue is how hot you eat your food,” Jungwoo cracked a joke. Your tears fell even harder as you pulled him in for a hug. “I'm so sorry for ever suggesting it I should've talked to you first,” you cried like a little baby in his arms. Jungwoo swayed side to side, holding you tightly and cherishing every second of it.

M a r k

You often read over Marks lyrics, whether they were going to be used or nt you loved to read them. It always felt like you got a insight into what was really going on in that Canadians head. Your fingers flipped the page as you started on the next song. “Cling to me” was the title as you guessed since it was written sloppily at the top. Some of the words were smeared due to something having been spilt on it but you did your best to read it anyway. At first ti seemed like a light hearted song but as the lyrics progressed you realized it was about you. A song about how loving it was at first to have someone cling to you only for it to be over bearing and annoying. The door opened as Mark walked in, his eyes skimmed the room only to see you reading his journal. “Oh, I haven’t been writing lately,” he said, plopping down next to you. When you didn’t respond right away Mark noticed that you looked distraught. “y/n?” he questioned before his eyes slowly moved to the page. He felt his heart drop momentarily before his hand darted out to cover the page. “Don’t continue reading this, before you saying anything let me explain. I wrote this after our last fight and I was angry,,I didn't mean it. Flip the page,” Mark instructed while flipping the page for you seeing as you wouldn't listen. “I wrote this he next day after seeing what I wrote the previous night, I didn't mean to write those things, Y/n.” Holding back tears and wanting to listen to him you glanced up at the top “Eyes of an Angel” was the title of this song. Reading the lyrics you let the tears drop. “Eyes of an Angel” was a song about how you always saw him for him and how it was yours eyes that pulled him out of some of his darkest times. About how he was thankful that the first thing he got to see in the morning was your eyes staring back at him. Leaning over he pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head “I really should rip that page out,” he mumbled while pulling your lips to his, giving you the sweetest and most gentle kiss he ever had

H a e c h a n

Haechan was a playful spirit, that was something everyone knew. Infact it were his light hearted jokes and his childish teasing that gave him a lot of fans, plus It didn't help that he was incredibly good-looking. Haechan was teasing Mark about how he never lets him hug him or give him kisses. Your feet padded against the ground as you made your way to the dorm, ready to finally drop off Haechans clothes that you stole and promised to return. “Yeah well you know who is really clingy?? Y/n,,sometimes I cant breath when Y/n is in the room-” you stopped in your tracks, dropped his clothes on the ground and spun around on your heels. “clingy,,but,,,Haechan,,with,,he,,me??” you mumbled incoherently to yourself. “-its not like I have a problem with that though, her clinginess is a big reason why I love her,” Haechan finished his sentence, confused as to why Mark was staring behind him funny. “I swear I heard someone,” Mark slowly walked towards the hallway, Haechan not far behind. Peaking over the corner Marks eyebrows went from being knitted in confusion to panic. “Okay Haechan, DON'T PANIC BUT-” Mark was quickly interrupted by the younger bright boy “WHAT DO YOU MEAN DON'T PANIC?? NOW IM PANICKING WITHOUT KNOWING WHATS WRONG,” the young boy yelled back. “Sorry,,,I uh,,,I think Y/n was here to drop off your clothes but for some reason she dropped them,” Mark directed Haechans line of sight to his clothes on the ground. “Fuck. She probably heard me calling her clingy and left,” Haechan quickly pushed past Mark, pace picking up as he attempted to catch you before you got back on the train. The second her caught sight of your hair, bouncing as you hurriedly walked he couldn't help but scream your name. You froze in place long enough for him to catch up, with his hands on his knees and his favorite hoodie in his hands. “You,,you didnt hear it all,,I called you clingy,,but I also said thats why I,,I love you,,please,,take this back and,,,come back to the dorm,” Haechan said in between heavy pants. “Oh my gosh im so stupid,,sorry Haechan,” you said with a giggle, putting his favorite hoodie on. He stared at you in disbelief for a few seconds before pulling you in for a tight hug. “Its not fair you look better in my stuff than I do.”

#neowritingsnet #nct 127 #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 angst #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 reactions #taeil imagines #taeil scenarios #johnny imagines #johnny scenarios #taeyong imagines #taeyong scenarios #yuta imagines #yuta scenarios #doyoung imagines #doyoung scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #winwin imagines #winwin scenarios #jungwoo imagines #jungwoo scenarios #mark imagines #mark scenarios #haechan imagines #haechan scenario #taeil angst #nct taeil #taeyong angst

[fynctsbuuuts]

Just Say Yes; Johnny Seo

Pairing: Johnny Seo X reader

Genre: Kinda angst..?

Disclaimer: I do not own Johnny or any member I write for. I only own the writing. The description I am portraying them to be are not accurate at all. Everything I write is fiction, please don't take anything to heart.

A/N: Full credit to the owner and creator of the picture.

There were no words to describe the feeling Johnny felt in his chest when ever he saw her. Especially, whenever he saw her cradling a child in her arms. The sight was so stunning, she was so delicate, loving and attentive over every child that crossed her path. It was a sight that exited him for a future with her.

He wanted nothing more than to buy the most beautiful, most expensive ring for her, all for her. He wanted the hectic life of planning a wedding. Wanted to see her pacing around the room, stress radiating off of her because she couldn't find the perfect dress. He wanted to walk behind her and warp his long arms around her waist, whispering into her ear that she'd look beautiful in anything, even a trash bag. Causing her to laugh. Oh her beautful laughter.

He wanted that. He wanted to have a child with her. Boy or girl, it never mattered to him.

He just wanted to see his child being born. Wanting to hold her hand tightly as she pushed their blessing out. He wished to carry their new born baby as soon as the doctor pulls it out.

He wanted to kiss their boo boo's away whenever they got hurt. He could already imagine Y/n scolding them for being so reckless. He knew how worried she could get. He'd be there, reassuring her that their child is fine. And reassuring their child.

He wanted to send them off to preschool. He'd be so proud of them, tears threaten to fall from his eyes.

He wanted to scare off their significant others because they'll forever be his baby. No matter how old they get, their still his to protect and love.

And he wanted to see them on their wedding day, in love just like he is with their mother.

He wanted to grow old with her, die with her by his side. He'd give up everything for her.

The amount of happiness and joy she brought him was something he could only see in movies. But he was lucky enough to find the love of his life.

Just thinking about this possible future made him smile widely. His mood completely changing.

But there was only one problem.

She didn't want the same things.

Y/n has told Johnny countless of time how she is afraid of marriage. How she never believed in the concept of marriage. And how she wasn't the most patient person in the world to take care of a baby.

He understood this, although he was skeptical, confused as to why she was so afraid of marriage. But he let it be, not wanting to scare her off. They never even had sex, and he was totally fine with this. He didnt want her just because of sex. But it's been four years.

Four years..

And the idea still bothers her. His family started asking about a future family, about grandchildren, a wedding. And he was planning on finding out why she was so bothered by all of this, their future. And he was determined to find out.

"Hey, beautiful" Johnny whispered against Y/n’s temple. Slowly running his hands up and down her sides. Causing her to giggle and push herself away from his touch. Turning around, she wrapped her arms around his neck, softly caressing the hairs at the back of his neck.

It was their only day off, and they wanted to spend some quality time together. Though, Johnny's parents were in town and they wanted to have a small get together with the rest of the family. And of course, Johnny had to go.

"Are you okay?" Y/n asks softly, enjoying the closeness of his body against hers. They were currently in the kitchen alone. Most of the family members were in the living room, talking and just catching up with each other.

“Yeah, I'm fine" He says, kissing her forehead lightly while sneaking his hands around her waist. Bringing her body closer to his. He was defiantly in love with this girl.

"John- oh, I'm sorry I didnt know you were busy" His mom interrupts, laughing in embarrassment as both Johnny and Y/n move away from each other. Embarrassment clearly shown on both their faces.

"Sorry mom" Johnny laughs while leaning against the counter.

"Oh dont be sorry, I mean, you guys are a couple. I'll be expecting some grandkids soon, right?" She wiggles her eye brows while walking out of the kitchens, taking some paper towels with her.

Y/n immediately tenses up at the mention of kids, and Johnny quickly noticed this. Bitining the inside of his lip he strolls over to her.

"Why dont you want kids?" He asks bluntly, not wanting to sugarcoat the situation.

"We're not having this conversation right now" Y/n shakes her head as she grabs her cup filled with water.

"Then when will we? Cause no matter how many times I bring it, you always have a way of dodging it" Anger and confusion slowly filling him up.

"Johnny, we'll talk about this later" Y/n was already fed up with the conversation. She’s heard this one too many times. "Fine" He soon gave up, after looking at her for a few seconds. He slowly walked over to her, kissing her temple. She didnt once look up from the counter. He sighs in defeat and leaves the kitchen. She held her tears in, breathing in and out, holding onto the counter tightly. After a while, she walked out as well. Wanting to forget about the situation and integrate in the conversation the family was having.

Weeks after the incident was spent without physical contact, weeks without direct communication is what made him him snap so suddenly. The fact the she has been avoiding him just because of a question was outrageous and immature in his eyes.

“Can you please tell me what's wrong? You've been ignoring me for weeks now." He confronted her, expecting an explanation.

Your POV

“Its nothing" You whisper, eyes not leaving your phone. You knew what you were doing was incredibly childish, but you knew what he wanted, and you just weren't ready for this conversation.

"Y/n, I love you, God only knows how in love I am with you" He breathes out, letting a small chuckle out.

“But I just need to know if you feel the same. I get it if you dont want to have kids..or marriage.” His voice clearly laced with sadness as he said this, causing you took look at him for a split second.

“But i deserve an explanation on why you're shutting me out all of a sudden. Or at least tell me why you don’t want a family. That's what couples are supposed to do, talk." He finished his mini rant with hopeful eyes.

“I'm sorry, Johnny, I can't. I'm not ready for marriage and i dont want children. I dont have a reason and theres nothing to talk about" >Great way to make it worse,Y/n<. You thought. You knew he had every right to know. He only meant good, but you were so scared of his reaction. Afraid that he'd leave you. The man of your dreams. The man that never dared disrespect you in any way. The man who was there for you through thick and thin. There was no denying that you were in love with him, and he had every right to be mad, every right to know.

"I-" A million ways to tell him crosses your mind, yet you couldn’t say a thing. It was as if you lost your voice. A headache at the right side of your head. Indicating that a migraine was soon to appear, which will eventually consume your whole body into an unbearable pain.

“Are you seeing someone else?"

That one sentence felt like a dagger going through both your hearts. Your eyes winded at the sudden accusations, you couldn’t help but feel slightly offended that he’d think so low of you. But you knew exactly where he was coming from.

“I would never, Johnny” You say sternly, slowly getting up from your spot on the couch. Tears threatening to spill out of your eyes because of the terrible situation you were in.

“Well what is it then? Help me understand what you’re keeping from me. It’s been four years, Y/n. I want to start a family with you and only you. Understand this, but hey, I understand if you don’t want the same. But at least give me a reason why, because I know there is a bigger reason than not being ready” He sighs in defeat, throwing his hands to his sides.

At this point, you were just looking for excuses to end the conversation. This was probably the first time he ever confronted you like this, and you were at loss for words. Afraid of the consequences that the truth would bring.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Johnnys chuckle. Your head shot up, looking at him directly in his eyes. Sadness was all you could see in his beautiful brown eyes. And you wanted nothing more than to hold him. But you couldn’t.

“Well, until you’re ready, I’ll be staying at the dorms” He said with a light crack in his voice. Causing you to break down in tears. As if reflex, you quickly wiped them away, careful not wipe to hard and hurt yourself.

“Johnny, please” you managed to spit out, but he just gave you a side glance before opening the door.

“I still love you, Y/n, but I feel like I’m the only one committed in this relationship” he coughs out, walking out the door with a sad sigh.

You felt like running after him, but you couldn’t move really. You just sat there, silent tears streaming down your face.

As if on cue, your phone started ringing, causing you to jump in surprise. Quickly disconnecting the charging cable from your phone, you looked at the unsaved number and smiled to yourself. You wiped your moist fingers on your jeans and answer the call.

“Hey, baby” You voice came out in a raspy tone. Taking a deep breath as the sweet voice came through the phone. Immediately relaxing at his soothing voice.

“Hi, mommy!”

#nct #nct 127 #nct 2018 #nct dream #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct u #kpop #nct reactions #kpop scenarios #writing #nct johnny #johnny seo scenarios #johnny seo imagines #johnny seo #johnny angst #nct angst

[beaulesbian]

a little vent post about whats been bothering me about people pushing adam and shiro together, even if lm and jds said they broke up

when in 1x1 keith saved shiro with the rest of the team, shiro had the opportunity to ask about adam or mention something, he was back on earth after all, (this whole story line was most likely already planned, bc we know some of the flashback were meant to be in s2, so its not like the crew didnt know if adam will exist, probably), but shiro didnt mention anyone, he kept focusing on the mission. in 1x2 when they were focusing on their important memories,  

again shiro could’ve thought about his ex (like if some people here are thinking theyre still in love or whatever), but he didnt. shiro focused on the kerberos mission, 

which we know from 4x2 was a place he took keith to before he was leaving

and when the clone shiro was sure he was dying in 3x5 (right before keith saved him again*coughcough), when he was thinking those are his last moments,

there could have easily been a flashback with adam, one of his happy memories of him perhaps. but there wasnt, if was firstly keith

and then the rest of the team.

i honestly dont get how people are so sure that adam and shiro will get back together. they broke up and went separate ways, thats what life is. ship what you want but leave adam and shiro in past.

its such a cool thing that the show can portray a character who is established not just gay but also disabled, poc, suffering form ptsd, a true leader and hero, but people here are so quick to take away the moments he has on screen with his most important friend and want instead to reconcile him with someone who couldnt love and support him the way other person could - that keith could, that keith does, so many times (and as many times as it takes)

 end of rant, im sorry i just had to get this off my chest.

#takashi shirogane #shiro #adam voltron #voltron #vld spoilers #sheith #my ramblings #this is not against adam but but its not pro him either #i dont know enough about him to judge but shiro deserves someone better sorry #and thats keith fight me #gif:sheith #mine

[qifshaa]

I know you might see this and i know you wont like reading this but yes, i am dieing.. the day my heart broke was the day these emotions came out. When you told me what you were holding back for so long, it felt like a bullet straight through my heart. I stopped breathing, felt the blood rushing but going nowhere.. it killed me knowing that i kept moving forward with those emotions where you werent moving at all. Too see now those emotions with someone else just feels like the shrapnel in my heart just expand and start growing in there. The way we spent our time together was so undescribable that still to this day i remember when you got so drunk i helped you into bed and took care of your baby. You were so beautiful yet you didnt know it. Everyday i got that much closer to you because i never had anyone like you, you were and still are the only person i love. You made me feel things i didnt even know existed, shit that ive never seen in movies. You gave them to me. But it all just turned into darkness that day you told me it wasnt the same. I didnt think that after aaaaall the time i knew you and you telling me who you were that you werent the person to hold back certain things that you held back from me for 2 months. I know it wasnt a long time but i thought about those 2 months and those 2 months all i wanted was to bethere for you even throughout all the fights we went through. Before i started working i knew it wouldve came and i told you and asked you “do you reckon we will stop texting cause ill be working full time” and i didnt expect us to stop talking so soon and it hasnt even been a year of working 😔 i didnt realise how much of an impact you have in my life. I an depressed and emotionally broken and it seems like i want to just leave and hate life but its mainly just clouding all the deep emotions of love i have for you. Im holding it all in as if ive been swimming for a thousand metres for you. Unable to breathe and look forward but yet i knew that you would be at the end of the line holding out your hand for me. The way i see you speak and act now was so different to when i use to see you on the weekly basis, i guess this is me realising how attched i was to you seeing you grow but now that we dont talk i see you growing into a different path and i dont know if its a good or bad path only you will know it. But i just hope that path leads to a beautiful family and endless love for you. You dont deserve anything less and its surprising to see how much love you have stored in you and i never saw any of it. And now that you let it all out i dont know what i see in you anymore cause i knew that we would never be together but seeing how much love was inside of you and now seeing it cloud your thoughts is making me so scared cause you always told me that you didnt want love now and you were just gonna wait but it all changed within a week. We both spoke about focusing on school and not getting to close with friends regardless of gender yet it all get side casted when you met him. I have no doubt you may like him, but i know who you are. And i know you dont love him. He gives you a feelig you thought you lost but what if you are feeding yourself the feelig wth your own emotions? You know who you are and we both know what we have been through and we know how your brain works yet you really want to believe that it is love. You say that you guys wont be how you were before yet you guys keep feeding eachother more and more making you guys crumble more inside. You are doing things you never EVER did with me and it fucken hurts so damn much 😅 but i cant say anything cause you always think of a something to say that shows im wrong when i know deep down that i am right and you know it too but you just cant admit it to yourself and that i dont even know why. This is just a weird rant about us but i dont want to send this to you directly because i dont know what we would say after this.. 😓 When i made you laugh, it made me laugh.. you gave me genuine giggles and bubbles in my stomache and not even in the way of affection, but just nervousness cause i didnt want to do anythig thaat unimpresses you 🙈 you made me feel great about myself and you made me understand more about myself than i thought i already knew. You made me come in so close to you i knew every little feature about you and all the insecurities you have. I loved you in every way and i loved you in ways you havent even realised still to this day and you wont ever notice them now cause your love faded away months ago and is directed to someone else. I dont know how i feel about us from talking every day to not talking anymore and to you talking to him everyday and not me anymore. It was all such a rush and such a sudden change you gave me no time to think and no time to heal and you dont show any help towards me in koving forward or try visting me or taking me out because of the relation you have with my sisters, how can we be bestfriends if you dont even feel comfortable at my house.. i never wanted to believe it but i just feel like im being used but i like it. I actually want you to cause you are the reason for my daily smiles. You dont realise what you gave me and what you took away from me. You say you will never ever forget me as a bestfriend and never will forget me in general. But i see it in your heart, you have. 5 months ago we used to tell eachother every time we leave the house and send “Get home safely” messages before i even make it half way home and then 2 months ago i started having to text you “i got home safely “ after ive been in my room for 5 mins and that showed me the meaning of “i love you” and “love you” Little things like that i dont think you realised and i know youll accuse it cause of the situation we are in but no, its not 😒 you started dropping all of out little gestures and thoughts about one another untill i had to bring it up or let you know for you to tell me that you forgot or felt bad. I am sorry that you stopped loving me and i dont know how you moved on so fast but maybe in time ill move on from you too. I am sorry that i am not truly your bestfriend but i dont know how to talk to you anymore when every day it is spent with another guy talking to you, so why should i bother aha I dont know what this whole thing is about but its just shit on my mind so dont judge I love you, honestly i do. But lately... your actions are showing me otherwise. You literally are becoming someone you didnt want to be and i dont know what to say about it cause youll just get hurt and shut me out. You never stayed out so late to complete work or to hang with friends till you met him. And not even wit me either. And its just making me realise that you never loved me that way and how much you are willing to be with him. Three times now i have not told you yet but whilst you were not home i just had to go to your home just so i could say hello to your beautiful baby. Yes i know i never told you but i just had to show adeline that regardless where her mother was and ehats going on in her life she still has an uncle to care for her when she needs it. Ive seen lately that she has started getting slimmer and more aggressive but i dont know wether its cause of how she acts at home or what she is watching but she is changing to fast and it hurts me seeing her this way and i can only imagine how it must be on you 😔 The only dream ive had this past week was me going to my primary school but not as a child. As a father to my own kids picking them up , i didnt have a wife or girlfriend cause ive always wanted to be a lone dad but i remember taking a step into the school and seeing Adeline run right past me.. it fucken broke my heart knowing how much she meant to me but for the slghtest moment , she stopped and waved at me. 😦 i hated this fream so much cause i woke up straight after that at 3 am and was crying till 5 am and drove to work dreaded in tears. I hope i am there to pick up Adeline after school to take her to get ice cream and toys as the great uncle i always should be. I just hope her mother is there to realise what she has and how much the two of them mean to him. Goodnight biffle ♥️👐🏼

~Nazif Bujupi 18/06/2018

[moonlitstories]

New Year Blind Date- Myungjin

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

SURPRISE! I told you I’d send you a gift! It’s a little later than I thought but just in time for New Years! Happy New Year @vonseal​! ❤️

It’s my first member ship-fic so sorry if its not that good :( and sorry that it’s long… I hope you enjoy it though!

Word count: 2,870

Housemates

Headache: Hyuuuuuung~ Headache: Jin Jin Hyuuuuuung~ Headache: Just go on the date please!

Me: Give me a good reason to go Dongmin

Swag: You have nothin to do on new year’s eve?

Me: What r u talking about Rocky? I got u guys!

Headache: We have dates remember?

Swag: Ya cuz we have boyfriends unlike you

Headache: Rocky!

Swag: Wat? It’s not our fault his boyfriend cheated on him. Swag: And to find out on Christmas eve too.. Swag: I told you he was bad news hyung Swag: But you didnt want to listen

Headache: Minhyuk! Stop talking about him! Headache: Hyung, are you sure you don’t want Bin to beat him up? Headache: Hyung… You’re either crying again or typing really slow

Me: Im not crying Dongmin and no I dont want ur boyfriend to get involved. Me: Plus him getting punched by both me + his “fiancé” is enough Me: AND Me: I AM NOT GOING ON THE BLIND DATE!

Swag: But! Both Sanha and Bin-hyung said he’s a really nice guy! Swag: Plus you don’t want to spend the countdown alone do you?

Me: Look. Rocky. Dongmin. Me: I’m sure he’s nice + all but I dont think I can trust anyone right now… Me: He was the 5th guy to cheat on me Me: I trust Bin + Sanha but I dont think my heart can take it if another guy cheats on me

Swag: You mean USES you to cheat

Headache: MINHYUK!

Me: Minhyuk…. You better hide when I get home tonight

Headache: He called you “Minhyuk” Headache: You’re done for. Headache: DON’T THINK YOU CAN HIDE IN MY ROOM EITHER!

[Change “Swag” to “Dead”? Yes/No?]

Dead: I’ll agree to getting a dog if you go on the blind date

[Change “Dead” to “SWAG”? Yes/No]

Me: Deal

Headache: I wish you said that earlier

SWAG: Eh~ I thought it would’ve been more fun to actually convince him

Headache: You’re dead when I get home

Crazy-College Friends

Bap: M-hyung youre going on the blind date right?????

Maknae: Ya hyung! Maknae: Rocky said they put A LOT of effort into convincing him! Maknae: Please go! Rocky will be sad during our date if his hyung is home alone

Me: No Me: Every time I went on a date. THAT WAS IT Me: A DATE. ONE DATE. THERE WAS NEVER A SECOND DATE!

Bap: Dongminnie said that hes really kind and has a big heart tho Bap: I’m sure you’ll go on a second date with him!

Me: He just got cheated on Me: I don’t think he’s exactly ready for a date in general -.-

Bap: Sanha told you didnt he

Me: Yes Me: Doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t gonna go in the first place! Me: Plus! Wouldn’t you guys miss seeing me every time you get home! Or when I third-wheel on your dates sometimes!

Maknae: No offence hyung, but…

Bap: Youre always sulking whenever we get home from a date and we didnt bring you

Maknae: And when you third-wheel it ends up with you always standing/sitting/walking in-between me and Rocky… Maknae: We know you’re jealous on the inside hyung

Bap: We just want you to be happy too Bap: Please! Just this once! Bap: If you guys don’t have a second date then we promise never to set you up on blind dates again!

Me: Promise?

Bap: Promise!

Maknae: Promise….

Me: Ok~ Fine~ I’ll go

Maknae: *Promise not! Maknae: Bin-hyung~ You owe me and Rocky $5 each Maknae: Bin-hyung promised me and Rocky $5 each if we could get you guys to agree to going on the blind date

Me: -_- Me: Sanha if you see police cars outside the house tonight just walk away and stay over at Minhyuk’s place

Maknae: GOT IT HYUNG!

Bap: ?????????????????? Bap: Sanha if I live after tonight youre dead

Maknae: I think I’ll stay over at Rocky’s/Dongmin-hyung’s place tonight…

Eleven am on the dot, Jinwoo walked in and sat down at one of the diner tables. Dongmin and Bin had set up everything for them. Jinwoo and his blind date would meet at eleven o’clock on New Year’s Eve at a small diner for lunch.

A few days ago: “I don’t want anything fancy Dongmin. I don’t think it’ll go well anyways so I don’t want to spend too much money. No offense to your friend Bin.” Bin shook his head, “None taken. Honestly, Hyung would prefer something simple too.”

So there he was, waiting for his blind date to walk in. His eyes darted back and forth from the menu to the door every time the bell chimed. He didn’t know what his blind date looked like, but Bin had told him that he would stand out a lot.

Jinwoo didn’t understand what that even meant until he looked to door as the bell chimed and the brightest person he had ever seen walked in. Myungjun was wearing a bright orange knitted-sweater and had a smile on his face just as bright as his sweater. 

Myungjun looked around for, what Minyuk had described as “a dull and slow looking person.” He didn’t have a clue what it meant till he saw a man sitting by himself staring at him, mouth agape. He was shocked at how cute he was and really hoped that the man was his blind date.

He cautiously approached the man who was obviously still trying to process what was happening. “Hi! Are you Minhyuk and Dongmin’s friend?” Jinwoo slowly nodded his head, “Are you Bin and Sanha’s friend?” Myungjun enthusiastically nodded, “Yup! It’s nice to meet you! I’m Myungjun! But you can call me MJ!” He raised his hand out for a handshake.

Jinwoo’s heart skipped a beat. He told himself he wouldn’t fall in love so easily but the man before him was gushing with joy and the way he talked so energetically made one of the locks to his heart open. 

“I’m Jinwoo. Nice to meet you too… MJ?” He smiled and raised his hand to meet MJ’s. Unbeknownst to him, MJ was a nickname Myungjun had made up on the spot. No one but Jinwoo would call him MJ, but he need not know that just yet.

“Jinwoo…” He thought for a second as he sat down in his seat across from Jinwoo. “Is it ok if I call you JinJin? I think it sounds cute! It suits you!” Jinwoo blushed and simply nodded. MJ gave the brightest and loudest laugh JinJin had ever heard and it made his heart melt. 

But JinJin wasn’t the only one who’s heart was opening up. Behind his smile MJ was slowly getting more and more worried. Just within the first few minutes of having met, he was already hoping to have a second date with this man. He loved JinJin’s angelic smile and his movements reminded him of a sloth but his eyes of a puppy.

As their date progressed, MJ realized how low JinJin’s voice was and how slow he talked. But he liked the way his voice sounded so smooth and made him feel calm. JinJin thought MJ talked very fast and very loudly. After a while, he realized MJ’s voice wasn’t just loud but also higher pitched but it didn’t bother him. The way he spoke made him feel happier and more energetic than usual and he liked that feeling.

“You should’ve seen them Jin Jin! Bin didn’t even bother control himself in front of me! Dongmin kept blushing and telling Bin to stop kissing him but NO~ Bin just told me to go home! Can you believe that???” MJ continued to rant as he scarfed down the burger he ordered. JinJin shook his head and continued to listen to MJ’s ranting. “Ah! But did Minhyuk tell you about him and Sanha’s deal with Bin?”

JinJin’s head shot up, “No? What deal?” Thus, MJ passed his phone over to JinJin and showed him the texts with Bin and Sanha. “Bin is dead next time I see him.” “Oh. Don’t worry! I made sure Bin learned his lesson.” MJ gave the most innocent evil smile and they both laughed.

“I got this, MJ” Jin Jin picked up the bill and quickly went up to the cashier to pay their bill before MJ could refuse. MJ slowly finished his drink and dragged himself to the door. Meanwhile, Jin Jin was taking his time paying for the bill by paying by cash. Unbeknownst to them, both of them were sad that their lunch was done and both hopeful that the date would continue for the day.

MJ waited for Jin Jin outside as he thought of all the possible things he could say to him to extend the date. Before he decided what to say, Jin Jin walked out and looked at him. Simultaneously: “What do you want to do next?”

Both of them were shocked and burst out laughing. MJ pointed down the street, “I know a good ice cream parlor a couple blocks down that way! It’s pretty cheap and they give large servings! My treat since you payed for our lunch!” Jin Jin nodded and followed MJ in the direction he had pointed.

MJ walked with a skip as he continued to talk about the ice cream parlor to JinJIn. Jin Jin listened with a smile on his face merely admiring MJ’s smile. It was cloudy and a bit chilly out but Jin Jin felt warm in MJ’s presence.

“Hyung -” MJ spun around and put his finger to his lips silencing Jin Jin. He looked at him confused as MJ glared at him. “Don’t call me that.” “Why not? You’re older than me?…” 

MJ looked couldn’t tell him the truth. He couldn’t tell Jin Jin that he didn’t want him to be formal because he felt like it meant he had no chance of being more than friends with him. MJ waved his hand to forget the matter and continued to walk towards the parlor. 

“Stupid brain…” He thought to himself as Jin Jin talked to him about Minhyuk agreeing to get a dog and thinking about what breed they should get. “It’s not like we’ll go on a second date… Stupid heart… stop beating so loudly… Stop hoping for something impossible for us…” His heart payed his thoughts no mind and continued to beat louder and louder and he watched the joy on Jin Jin’s face as he talked about dogs.

“Go ahead and get whatever you want Jin Jin!” “Are you sure? Cuz I’m thinking of getting that double scoop sundae…” “One of what he said and for me… I’ll get one of those popsicle sticks.” The cashier looked at them with amusement and proceeded to get their ice cream: “You’re in luck! You got the last popsicle stick for the day!” He smiled as he handed them their ice cream.

“MJ, you made me look fat…” Jin Jin pouted and MJ’s heart skipped a beat for the thousandth time today. “It’s ok! I ate like a pig back at the diner! Plus, you spent more there than I am here!” MJ smiled as Jin Jin couldn’t refute his answer.

“Anyways!… It’s a taboo topic for a first date, but I mean you already know my dating history from Sanha… What’s your’s?” MJ was shocked by the question and stopped opening his popsicle. “Well-”

As he was about to answer, the child in-line with her mother began to cry, “I’m sorry sweetie! But they don’t have anymore popsicle ice cream.” “But mommy! You promised me we’d get some today!” She began to cry louder as the mother apologized to the cashier and the nearby customers. 

MJ suddenly stood up and walked towards them. He kneeled down in front of the little girl with a gentle smile on his face. “Hi, princess! You can have mine! I didn’t open it yet so it’s still brand new!” The girl’s crying became sniffles as she looked to her mother for approval. “Ah! It’s ok, sir!” 

“No! I insist! I could always get something else! Plus, my date and I just got here so it shouldn’t be melted at all!” The mother could sense his sincerity, “Then, at least let me pay for your ice cream or pay you back for-” “It’s ok! Just seeing her smile is payment enough!” He smiled brightly towards the mother. She couldn’t argue with him any longer and nodded to her daughter to take it.

The little girl jumped and smiled brightly, “Thank you!” The mother mouthed “Thank you again” as the two of them walked out of the store. Jin Jin just watched everything in awe. MJ wasn’t just bright like the sun, he was even brighter! His heart couldn’t ignore how sweet that was of MJ to sacrifice his ice cream just to see a little girl smile. “Stop beating so fast heart… You’ll make me want to trust him… I told you we wouldn’t trust anyone anymore, so please, stop beating so quickly…” But his heart wouldn’t listen as he watched MJ return with a double scoop sundae and a bright smile on his face.

Without realizing it, it was already ten o’clock at night. T-minus two hours to the new year. After getting ice cream, they just went with the flow and just walked and talked. They didn’t want to admit it to themselves nor their hearts, but they were both enjoying being in each other’s company and their conversations just made the time fly by. They only realized the time after MJ’s stomach called out for dinner.

“It’s already seven o’clock??” Jin Jin looked at MJ and without a second thought, “Why don’t we eat dinner?” MJ’s eyes widened and his fears of Jin Jin saying let’s go home faded as he enthusiastically nodded.

The two of them walked into a park and sat down on a bench. Jin Jin looked up and MJ followed his gaze. “Don’t you think the stars look so pretty?” MJ nodded even though he knew Jin Jin wasn’t looking. “In two hours they’ll disappear and the sky will be lit up with fireworks though…” “I think fireworks are just as pretty as the stars though.” Jin Jin looked to MJ and nodded.

“Since it’s only two hours away why don’t we just do the count down together?… I MEAN! That’s if you want to…? I was just thinking, since you know, Bin and Dongmin are on a date and so are Sanha and Rocky…” Jin Jin blushed and “scratched” the back of his neck. “YES!” MJ jumped up from the bench and covered his mouth out of embarrassment. “I mean… Ya, of course. That would be nice.” He sat back down embarrassed but Jin Jin just chuckled.

It took them almost an hour to get to the river front, where a lot of people gathered for the count down. It took them half an hour to find a good spot where there weren’t that many people near by, but still had a good view. Even though it was stressful, they didn’t care. MJ kept making jokes along the way and kept messing with Jin Jin every time he worried if it was too crowded where they were.

They continued to talk and enjoy each other’s company and before they knew it they were getting up to do the count down:

TEN! “Maybe it’s not a bad thing to give love another shot huh heart?” Jin Jin told himself.

NINE! “Maybe I should just ask. It wouldn’t hurt to ask and if I don’t even ask how would I know if he really didn’t want to go on another date?” MJ told himself

EIGHT! “MJ seems like a really innocent, pure and kind guy. I don’t think he’d cheat on me or use me.”

SEVEN! “Jin Jin is far more perfect than those other guys I ever went on dates with and I don’t want to regret not asking him on another date.”

SIX! “Ok heart… I’ll listen to you one more time…”

FIVE! “My heart’s beating so fast… I’ll hope one more time…”

FOUR! Simultaneously “Deep breath.” / “You got this”

THREE! Simultaneously “MJ!”/ ”Jin Jin!”

TWO! Simultaneously “Do you want to go on another date?”

ONE! Simultaneously “I’D LOVE TO GO ON ANOTHER DATE!” 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!” Ecstatic, they hugged each other for the new year and out of excitement for the other’s answer. After they stopped staring at each other, they realized everyone around them was kissing. They looked at each other and both blushed.

“Shall we go find the others?” Jin Jin offered. MJ nodded and they slithered their way out of the crowd. Starting their new year with renewed faith and hope, their hearts were whole again. It was a sign to them that the year to come would be a happy one. Hand in hand they walked home to meet with their friends.

“I told you they’d be together by the end of the day! Give me my five dollars back both of you!”

“You guys were betting on me and MJ again???”

“Who’s MJ?”

“???????????????”

“Oops…”

#astro imagines #astro fic #jinjin #jinwoo #jinjin imagine #jinjin fic #mj imagine #mj fic #mj #kim myungjun #myungjin fic #myungjin #jinwoo imagine #myungjun imagine #first ship-fic #HAPPY NEW YEAR

[adultteamharmony]

What's the worst fight you all had?

“The worst fight? Oh no... I... think that one was a while back, when we were still teens.”

FlashBack Time~

(slight warning, this is long, like sorry guys)

“Ok, that’s it! I’ve had enough of this punk, going around and giving people a ‘reality check’. Well, I think its his turn to have one.” Zackery huffed, his lips drawn back into a snarl as he began to pull his hair back into a ponytail.

“Zackery, no! You are not going to do anything except sit down and cool off.” Kodo stated, standing up and crossing her arms, her vines sprouting out and wrapping tightly around his waist. “Zackery, you are part of Team Harmony and you’re trying to become a hero, going around and punching anyone and everyone who pisses you off is only going to end up hurting you in the end and it wont solve anything.” She added, huffing out hot air from her nose and narrowing her eyes at him.

Zackery simply snarled before yanking at her vines, forcing Kodo to stumble toward him. “And what about you?! All you end up doing is just shut down and get all passive, basically rolling over whenever a problem comes up that you cant figure out how to solve! Dont you care at all that the guy you, supposedly had a crush on, told you to fuck off?? Doesn’t it bother you that he’s happy with someone else while you did absolutely nothing and just sat out in the background?!” He shouted, waving his arms around, clenching and unclenching his fists over and over as his anger start to boil over.

“Yes.. no... I dont know dammit! I failed and messed up and made things worse, so just let me forget about it and move on already for Christ sake! As long as he’s happy, I’m happy, who cares? Whatever. Besides, the key word here is HAD. I HAD a crush on him, right now, I dont, so I dont care. And why do you care anyway? None of this involves you, none of this is about you!” Seemed anger was contagious since Kodo was starting to engage Zackery in a screaming contest. By now, her vines had released Zackery but they were flinging around, mimicking Kodo’s arm movements. Finally, she stood on her toes, chest puffed out and glared up at Zackery, fists balled up and at her side, shaking.

“Why do I care? Why do I care?! Kodo for fuck sake, has over 10 years of friendship mean so little to you that you have to question why I would care about someone telling you to fuck off? What am I to you? A knight, your brother, or just a fucking joke?!” Zackery trailed off, having started off yelling and stomping closer to her but has he started to piece things together, his shoulders sagged, lips forming a small and thin line, eyes glancing at her and then at the ground before he just sighed and shook his head.

With a huff, Zackery spun on his heels and stomped over to the door, only for Tachi to have had enough of this screaming contest and stepped in, blocking Zackery’s way.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Tachi asked, looking down at Zackery with arms crossed.

“And just who the fuck do you think you are? You really think you’re something all high and mighty huh? Look at you, looking down at me as if I was nothing more but just a nuisance... thats what I am to you people, right? A good for nothing nuisance that does nothing but brings trouble?”

“Zackery, please, lets just talk about this.”

“Zack, you’re a major nuisance right now. Just turn around and sit down before you blow a fus-.” Tachi ordered, only to get cut off by a sudden punch to the face. The sucker punch was strong enough to knock Tachi back and bump against the door before he regained his footing. Rubbing his now sore jaw, Tachi glared at Zackery, clenching his fist.

“So I’m a major nuisance huh? Finally glad that we can have some fucking truth around here. You want to know what I think about you!? All you do is walk around as if you own the place, all high and mighty just because you have a real special quirk, AND YOU DONT EVEN USE ALL OF IT! Not to mention, you never really talk to us about anything that goes on in that thick skull of yours. If we’re supposed to be a team, you sure do have a funny way of showing your team spirit.” Zackery ranted, getting all up in Tachi face, who was doing all he could to stop himself from knocking the fireball out.

“Zackery please, that’s enough. Can we just cool off and move on?” Kodo asked, hesitantly approaching her friend only to jump back when he spun around to face her.

“Dont think you’re getting out of this scot-free. You’re just as bad as he is when it comes to your secrets. I get it, I’m a dumb fuck, I know I am, and its clear thats how the two of you see me, but I’m not blind. You like to go around pretending that you’re this open book, almost as if you’re better than all of us, but I know the truth, you hide so many things in between the lines. I am just so sick and tired of you two keeping everything a secret and treating me like I’m the dumbest fucking hazard there is in the world!” As Zackery ranted and scream, Kodo slowly backed away, wanting to keep as much distance between herself and her angry friend.

Finally, Tachi just grabbed Zackery and lifted him up to eye level. "So you think you’ve done nothing wrong? Look at you. You’re just a walking fire hazard. Its a wonder how you made it this far in life without someone else coming around and dealing with you. With either of us, you’d probably just end up sleeping under a bridge somewhere!”

The two dived into a heated argument between each other, Zackery’s hair slowly growing in temperature with smoke rising up from it, while Tachi was just shaking in anger.

As Kodo watched her two friends just verbally rip each other apart, a lump formed in her throat as her eyes watered up, stinging and making it hard to see until finally, “I’M SORRY!” She shouted, causing the two to pause in their own argument and looked at her.

“Wait, what? Why are you apologizing?”

“I’m sorry! I dont tell you guys anything, I just bottle everything up, I feel like crap every single day, I’m just so jealous of your amazing and strong quirks while I got stuck with something weak, I’ll never be able to match anything you two do, I never meant to make either of you feel stupid, being smart is all I’m good at and even then I still mess up, I’m not worthy of being your leader or friend...” Kodo continued to just spill her guts out as tears cascaded down her red cheeks. Her voice cracked and shook in several places, but she continued to just spill it all out.

Tachi immediately dropped Zackery and the two scrambled over to her, a little unsure of what to do. After a while, the two decided to just let Kodo let it all out, tissues and a water bottle ready for her. After several minutes, she finally calmed down enough, that or she just ran out of things to say.

The room was just filled with this heavy and thick silence, the two brothers awkwardly looking at each other before one of them spoke. “Look, Tachi I-”

“No, I’m sorry. What you said... I... I think I really needed to hear it.”

“But dude, I shouldnt have yelled or said those nasty things... I mean, I’m sorry too.”

“But you were right. You two are family to me, when I lost my sight in my eye, everyone else just turned their backs on me but you two, you were there for me, helped me, and look at where I am now because of you two. I really should open up more, it would only help all of us, right?”

“Just because I was right doesnt mean that I should have said it in the way I did. I just, I just get so mad. Like I can clearly see that something is bugging your two guys, but no matter what I do, I cant get either of you to talk to me. It just made me feel like that I didnt matter to either of you and that you guys must hate me I’m sorry.”

“Zackery, you do matter. No matter how angry I get, or frustrated you make me feel, I could never hate you, and I will never stop loving you. I promise that from now on, I’ll try to open up more. You guys are my family.” Kodo chimed in, her voice a little scratchy from crying.

“Am I promise to try opening up as well. Zack, I’m sorry for making you feel like you were below me. You’re not, but I failed in making that clear.”

“I’m not exactly guilt free either. I really need to stop doing all of this fighting... and that sucker punch was just really uncalled for, I’m sorry dude. How about your punch me back and we call it even?”

“Zackery, if I did that, you’d end up in the hospital, so no. I kind of deserved it, so we’re fine.” Tachi added before ruffling his hair.

“Can... can we just stay like this for a while, please?” Kodo asked, referring to the cuddle pile that they had formed.

“Yeah, its rather nice... Maybe afterward we can head out and get some food?” Tachi offered, shifting a little until he was a little more comfortable.

“Sounds good to me, and I’ll pay since I started all of this.” Zackery stated, not letting any of them counter it. And with that, the trio just relaxed for a while, until Zackery said one last thing. 

“I’m still kicking that punk’s ass, hard.”

“ZACKERY NO!”

[deafinatlyafan]

I don't know if you take prompts. But if you do, can you make a fic where Princey says something rude to Anxiety that Anx shut himself and Patton goes into Dad Mode and after helping Anx he scold Prince or something. Thanks. And sorry.

Tw: food mention, mention of hate coments, anger, sad feelings.(I dont know what to tag for this)((Well, here's my attempt at a ~interesting~ fic about Witch Anxiety in the view of Morality because why not? Yes this is a prompt from a while ago, I apologize for the ~really~ long wait!))_Morality frowned. Since he came home from the drive through Prince had been complaining about Witches and Anxiety was obviously hurt by Prince's words. Morality tried to steer the conversation away, but they kept going back to why witches were horrible. It wasn't until Logic and Prince started yelling at each other about whether science had an impact in these spells that Anxiety had gotten away. Morality had wanted to eat with everyone, but he could tell today was a day that Anxiety needed to be away from Prince and Logan, and maybe even him. Anxiety had… acted less anxious the past few weeks, but he was still his usual witchy self. Morality grabbed the bag he had gotten for the supper and headed to Anxiety's door He went it to Anxiety's door and hesitated. He had never been to Anxietys room. Was Anxiety the type to want to be alone?He was about to leave before he heard sniffling from behind the door.Morality's chest felt as if it was twisting. Anxiety had been alone for a long time and you know what, It was time to change that. Until he asked to be alone, Mortality was going to stay with him. Morality entered Anxietys mindspace, trying to remain quiet. He noticed that Anxiety was on his couch, trying not to cry as he hugged his knees.“You know it's okay to cry right?” Morality asked. Anxiety snapped up and turned to face him with tears in his eye.“You-” Anxiety closed his eyes and bit his lips. After a few seconds he continued, “you scared me.” Anxiety sniffles and wiped his red teary eyes. “uh” Morality looked around his mindspace, trying to think of a pun and ignore the creepy crawlers in the corner. His eyes landed on the cat that Anxiety was snuggling with. “You cat to be kitten meow.” Morality said grinning.. Anxiety just stared at morality for a few minutes. “What does that have to do with anything?” Anxiety asked.“What do you mean?” Morality answered.“There's no cats around.” Anxiety sniffled and wiped his nose with his sleeves.“There's a cat stuffie on your arm though.” Morality pointed at Anxiety’s arm. Anxiety blushed and tried to hide the cat further down his arms.“Still… what did you mean by “cat to be kitten meow?” And why did you make it a cat?”“You need an occasion to make kitten puns? Well that's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!!” Morality grinned.Anxiety stared at him not sure what to say.“What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?” “I'm just dont know why you're making cat, and apparently seal puns.”“Because animal puns always cheer me up! And you look like you need cheering up so I thought it was worth a try.” “ Whatever,” Anxiety shrugged and put his head in his knees.“Oh by the way, Did you want some tacos?” Morality showed him a bag filled with food from taco time. Anxiety glanced up from his knees and sighed.“I guess.” Anxiety said moving to let Morality bit besides him. Morality beamed with delight. He walked to the couch and jumped onto it, opening the tacco bag.“Soo, I heard you were upset. Wanna taco ‘bout it?” Morality taking the tacos out of the bag, doing a little gig.Anxiety sighed, but Morality could see a smile creeping up his face, it was working.“I don't know. I just want to be asleep right now.”“Do you want snuggles?” Patton offered. Anxiety looked up at Morality shocked.“If you don't want it that's fine, I was just offering, I don't mind either way.” Morality looking at Anxiety hopefully. Wanting a chance to bond with him.“No I do, I just… I'm not used to people asking before doing something.” Morality was confused. What did he mean by this? Was he giving him too many unwanted hugs?Ha, who was he kidding, there's never enough hugs!“So.. do you?” Morality wasn't sure how to ask again, but he didn't want to invade his privacy.Anxiety obviously felt uncomfortable.“It's okay, I won't do snuggles if you don't want to.”Anxiety looked uncomfortable, relieved and confused all at once. “I want to, but it makes me uncomfortable.” Anxiety said, “that probably sounds stupid, just forget I said anything.” “No, it makes sense.Want me to just sit by you?” Morality offered.Anxiety nodded his head and scotched over, allowing Morality to sit in the middle of the couch. He loved sitting in the middle! It was bounciesr part of the couch and he got to snuggle with the most people!Wait its just Anxiety right now...Naw, the middle seat was still his favourite.“Is it okay if our shoulders touch?” Morality asked.“Sure I guess.”Morality moved closer until their shoulders touched. He opened the bag and handed Anxiety a tacco. Anxiety took it without saying anything. Silently taking the wrapper off before eating his taco. He sniffled a couple times but he managed to eat some of his food.After a few moments of silence Anxiety spoke up.“Sorry if my crying bothered you.” Anxiety sniffled.Morality hesitated before putting his arm around Anxiety's shoulder, basically hugging him in the process. Anxiety did not seem to notice. “It’s not a problem. I, myself need to cry from time to time.” Morality saidAnxiety just cringed a little bit. “Really?”“Yup! Sometimes the others will say something a little more hurtful than usual, sometimes they get hurt and I feel sad with them, and sometimes I see a puppy that's just too.cute” Morality strained his voice a little as he curled up his shoulders “Morality-”“Yeah?” Morality turned to face Anxiety forgetting about the puppy.“What do the others say?” Anxiety asked“Oh, just that I'm a child who doesn't understand things and need to adult more.” Anxiety sniffled a couple times.“That sucks.” he croaked.“It does,” Morality paused, unsure if he should ask Anxiety about what bothered him. “Do you want to talk about what they said?” Morality offered.Anxiety laughed and sniffled.“What is there to say? Prince obviously hates witches, and wants them destroyed.”“Anxiety-”“It's true. I'm a witch, and i'm a negative part of Thomas so of course you guys would want me gone.” “Don’t say that! We love you and want you around, negativity and all.”“Maybe you love me, but it's obvious disney there doesn’t want me around. He may have said nice things to me, but he obviously still hates me. Or at least, hates witches, which I am.” “That's not true! Well, you being a witch is true; and yes what he said was… harsh but that doesn't mean he doesn't like you!”“He said all witches were a word i shall not repeat to your ears and... He basically went on about how they were essentially evil or useless and not needed. It just made me think of how… unnecessary I was.”“Don't say that! Of course you're needed! Who would stop Thomas from doing all the bad things? Who would save all the other sides from overwhelming negativity? Roman is always chasing fantasies and I always let my emotions get the best of me. While Logic tries to keep us in line. You help balance us all out!”“It sure doesn't feel like it.” Anxiety murmured.Morality’s chest clenched as he tried to think of what to say.“Can I help?” Morality wasn't sure if this was the right thing to say but he wanted to do something. Anxiety was quiet, and Morality was about to ask again when Anxiety replied“Please just lay here with me for a bit.” Anxiety was trying to hold back sobs“Of course! Do you want me to keep hugging you?” Morality asked. Anxiety closed his eyes as he nodded his head.With his free arm, Morality moved the food on his lap to the side. He put both his arms around Anxiety, letting him sob. Why couldnt he just take away the hurt?__Morality could feel himself getting anxious and Anxiety had fallen asleep quite quickly so he found himself out. As the anxious feeling settled he was reminded of how angry he was at Roman.Fuming, he headed in the direction of where he assumed Prince would be.Morality was still angry when he found Prince with Logic in the kitchen.“How is he doing?” Prince asked fidgeting with his finger. “Horrible!” Morality threw his hands in the air, “how could you say that about witches! You know how he feels about that!”“He must know I meant all witches with the exception him! He's a decent witch And a vital part of Thomas! He wouldn't be a side if-”“I don't care Roman!” Morality screamed. Logan and Roman stayed quiet, obviously very uncomfortable.“He Literally casts spells all the time to stay calm, you should know that! He used the breathing spell on thomas so that we wouldn't be stuck as anxious sides!”“Actually that breathing technique isn't a spell, its-”“Not now Logic!” Morality snapped. Logic shut his mouth and adjusted his glasses nervously. “He always stays in his room so he won't bother you as much as you think he does. He’s scared of you and has every right too after all the horrible things you said about his friends! You need to realize your words hurt him! And not just the stuff about witches. You need to stop blabbinf whatever comes to your head and actually think about what you're saying!” Morality snapped.Prince stayed quiet.“Is he that mad?”“He's not, but I am! He's hurt by your words, and you won't bother asking him if he's okay once in awhile!”“I’m sorry- I didnt,” Prince was at a lost for words.“By the way-” Morality threw the remaining tacos at Prince’s face, watching as Prince tried to catch it, “there’s the freaking tacos you wanted. I hope you get diarrhea from it.” Morality snapped. He suddenly felt guilty. Sure Prince deserved an angry rant but maybe not diarrhea.“I’m sorry Prince, I shouldn't have yelled and said that, but-Anxiety is hurting and you’re not listening to him. There can be more than one side to a story.” Prince sighed and put his hands through his hair. “How hurt is he?”“Very.” Morality said.“Hurt to the point he can't look at me?”“I don't know. But it's best to avoid him for a while. He’s asleep anyways. Besides, if i heard my close friend talk about hurting people like me i would avoid them for a long time.”Prince shifted uncomfortably.“But.. witches are evil. They cast spells and-”“Anxiety is a witch and he’s not evil. He’s has not cast any spells that hurt us has he?” Morality answered.“No.” Prince said mournfully.“Then think about what you say before you say it.” Morality said, turning away. Prince was going to need a time out for now. --Not long after Anxiety came out of his room to grab a yogurt snack.He barely glanced at Prince and Prince looked a little nervous about talking to him. He would have backed out if it weren't for the glare Morality sent his way.“I’m sorry I called your friends evil.” Prince blurted out. Anxiety didnt react. “-I shouldn't have said those things, especially to you.” Anxiety slowly turned to face Prince. “You shouldn't have said those things at all. But, I can see where you’re coming from. They can do evil things. I usually join them on their quests.”“Yeah… You didn't deserve to hear… any of what I said. It was not princely of me. But to be fair, I never grouped you with those witches.”Anxiety raised his eyebrow and took a bite of his yogurt. “You realize when you say “All Witches- except for you” it just sounds like you're ignoring my witch identity right? I mean… I don't know, but it feels like you're ignoring it -or maybe in denials a better word. I mean it feels like you're denying the fact that i'm a witch? I don't know, it just… feels wrong?” Anxiety placed a spoonful of yogurt in his mouth.Prince took a sharp breath in.“You're right. I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said that about your friends.”“They're not all my friends… but they do share a common trait with me, and when you said witches were…. You know, it just… these witches are a part of me and basically and it just... hurt?” Prince nodded,“You're right. It wasn't nice of me.”“It wasn't nice? Prince it was downright evil! I was scared of you when you talked about us like that.” Prince gulped again.“I’m sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you like that.” “It didn't just scare me, it hurt. But thanks for the apology I guess.”They shuffled awkwardly for a few minutes. Morality was considering jumping in before Prince spoke up.“Do- can we have a fresh start? I know I haven't been treating you decently, even before we learned your name, but I'd like to start over if that's okay?”“I’d like that too.” Anxiety gave a little smile, “thanks Prince.” “I’ll be more open minded about witches, and-uh-you too I guess.”“Good.” Anxiety shuffled in place, “I’m sorry, but does this mean we have to be really gushy to each other? Because I’m not interested in gushing over flowers and kittens if that's what's required for a friendship.”Prince laughed, “Don't worry, I won't gush over them too much. How about we just… be more open minded to each other, and learn about each?”“Sounds good to me.” Anxiety smiled a little.Morality smiled even bigger. All he had to so now was to get them working together.And he had the perfect plan.Prank wars!!

[goddamned-catnapped]

Personal rant-- Long af just ignore this pls

Ok so like i have a highly dysfunctional family-- my dad works out of my country but he never pays anything for us; not even school/college fees for me and my sis and so on. My mother also used to work outside and used to give the whole fam financial support but now she's retired. Mom and Dad haven't talked to each other for over 20 days. Mom has a stress facture in her ankle and has trouble walking. She also once fainted at her workplace but Dad still doesn't care. Dad has never done anything for us yet he says he loves us and so on and moreover he used to ask mom for money now and then. My relatives aren't nice either-- my mom has three sisters out of which she's the eldest one and the second probably doesnt even know we exist and ive never seen her and she's out somewhere in libya and the third is very selfish and has a lot of pride and the last fourth one is a fucking bitch-- always cynical and backbites and shit. My grandmother is also selfish and arrogant and does not let a week pass by without creating problems. I think I have depression-- no i KNOW i have depression and that's not because ive had the symptoms for just a week-- ive been like this for over 3 years or more. Moreover I cut myself first when I was 11 and even now people tend to think we are just following an internet trend. I also know I have depersonalization-derealization disorder because I have the symptoms. I wasnt able to tell my mother that i even had depression so i made my sis tell her (she found out by accident because she saw my scars) and my mother didnt really talk to me about it and instead took my symptoms (headaches & mood swings + hypersomnia; sis didnt go into much detail) as something that was not related to my mental disorder and said "Change yourself". I had stayed away from my family for over two and a half years to study alone with my grandmother and my fourth aunt and they are very toxic kind of people-- they remain nice and suddenly stab you with knives out of nowhere. I've suffered a lot because of them and because of the toxic classmates I had in 10th grade-- I made no friends there. i cant tell my mom because she already worries too much. But she sometimes screams at me if i make a small mistake and cusses and takes out the anger and frustration of other people on me. I always thought that we are a family so who would we scream at if not at each other-- understanding and shit you know. But when I feel suffocated and so fucking horrible inside i dont tell that to anyone so if I get even slightly irritated-- my mom cannot tolerate that either. She's a very meticulous person so I try to live up to her expectations and sometimes I really wish she'd at least say "well done". It really hurts honestly. It hurts a lot. I didnt want to burden her with my problems so I never said anything. She always talks about how she has suffered and what not. If she was bring irritated with me (which is very often), and i told her to not cause too many problems because I already deal with a lot She'd say-- (no she HAS actually already told me)-- What "problems" do you even have huh? Honestly, I try to keep up with this family. But I just really want to die. I dont know why my family has to be like this. I have friends now and I am a senior and all my friends always talk about stories about the funny moments theyve had with their parents and what not while I have none. I always keep a straight face when mom tells me about how awful dad is. It really hurts because our relationships are so strained that it makes me want to cry when I see other people's parents loving their kids and having a happy family overall. I dont even remember the last time we all sat together and laughed. I always help people but even now I dont know how to ask for help. These past years all I have done is cry behind locked doors, put on fake smiles and cut myself almost every single day. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't recognize myself and I don't feel like I am me or I am my own person. "So this is how I look like to other people" is the first thought that comes to mind. Because I was so alone I made online friends but most of them were toxic too and its amazing how I have not killed myself yet. I dont like how my face looks and maybe I am the only one who is not happy with her skin color. I know it shouldnt bother me but I am slightly chubby, have acne (almost no one in my class has that) and I am brown. I try to think positively but it feels so fake and i get even more frustrated with myself. When i cut myself i (almost never) bleed but it leaves scars that takes months to heal even small scratches but even now my left arm is slightly discolored. My mom wants dad to provide us with financial support and so she tells us to indirectly take out the money from him like some sort of a politician. Why. Is this how the relations in a family work? I have to act like i am not affected by any of this because i dont want to make problems for my mother. But neither does she have time for me nor does she care enough. You know, I would live on streets and have diseases if that meant that I would have someone who would understand me. Even from when I was young, my sister was in another country and mom and dad were almost always out for work and i would be left with my maids. I have never had anyone to emotionally connect with. I really want to help and even though I am so talkative-- the words that are important to say never come out. When I talk to people, I don't recognize my voice and if I do, it feels very fake and i dont even like the words coming out of my mouth. I have become so mentally unstable that I became so hostile to an extent that I was about to attack my mother and thought to just kill her right then and there and the next day while she was talking to me, i just thought "this was the person i wanted to kill huh?" and that really scared me. I have never felt any love from my mom's side and have never emotionally connected with her so at this point I don't know how it feels to have a mother or a father. It's the same as being an orphan for me. Even surrounded by people, I feel alone. I hate that I cant say something simple like "I am in pain and I want you to help me". Whenever I get really angry or frustrated, if I dont cut myself, I either dont eat or I just become very violent with myself. I think maybe I just tend to introspect a lot (if thats what its called). When i finally did tell someone (a net friend) that i had depression, he just said 'you dont have depression' and when i was trying to console his friend and just told him that yanno i had depression but shit happens so you shouldnt feel so down and stuff, he (not his friend) made a group with me and my sister and said that i wanted attention so i keep telling everyone that i had depression. It was a long time ago but i still remember all of it. I remember how my mother slapped me once so hard that my cheek turned blue when it wasnt even my fault. I remember she was hitting me with some pole for something I had not done. Once she even told me "why did i even give birth to you" when she wanted me to just check out a dress and show it to her and dad and i just had a straight face on and that annoyed her cuz it looked gloomy or my annoyed face and shit. It has always been easier for her to tell others she is suffering and to scream at me and call me a bitch and other things whenever she feels like and wants to. She has never said sorry to me and almost all the times i have kept quite and i never told her about how i had felt like shit and wanted to cry and had suicidal thoughts almost all the time. All I have been made to feel is that its my fault and i have even tried to stand up for myself but no one ever listens to me or cares at all. Even now presently i am hiding my tears for some fucking dumbass reason that I dont want my mom to see it because if i tell her to leave me alone she will not listen. When i get like this and feel suffocated, I avoid eye contact because it would feel so intrusive if someone looked at me straight in the eye and found out all my deepest dark secrets. I am not the positive, helpful, happy, funny, talkative friend/person that I show to others because its all just a facade to hide the fact that i am actually a very pessimistic and cold type of person. I know i would have the coldest eyes if I ever showed that self. I envy people who are happy and have happy lives and I despise and hate so much that I want the people who hurt me to suffer so much that theyd want to die. And some times i hate everyone and want them all to die. At this point i dont care if my family dies because it feels as if they are just some people i know. My mother has just become an annoying roommate who demands more respect than is to be given to the average person is all. I dont feel like i have any relation with my father. Me and my sister's relationship is the "so close yet so far away". Yes, I am trash and an overall disgusting person who can never be as good as others nor be able to give others happiness or make things better for anyone and cant do anything except create more problems for everyone and cant help but sometimes be too nice to people so much so that i get hurt and so i become a little too cruel which again fills me with guilt and there is no in-between. I really just want to kill myself because maybe it'll do someone some good and if not.. then its still fine, I wouldnt care because I would be dead by then anyway.

#dysfunctional family #mental instability #mental disorder #sad #personal #family #self harm #suicide #tw suicide #tw self harm #depression #text #text post

[gobbochune]

I literally have a stage management BFA and still know next to nothing about the Heathers musical. Enlighten me on why it is The Worst.

Disclaimer: I have not seen the play live, only shitty cam recordings on youtube and anamatics of the popular songs. If there is a level of nuance to the play that I missed in modern performances, feel free to correct me. The same could be said for the film, but I have had no exposure to the film so I am not including it in this rant.

Part 1. “This situation does not exist.”

So like, I get it. you wanna have your relatable portrayal of highschool and with the cliques and drama and the petty squabbles of the popular vs unpopular kids is often magnified by inexperience and raging hormones. Everyone remembers highschool as being more intense then it actually was, so often the melodrama in these sorts of stories is amped up to eleven. 

The ‘Popular Clique’ characters are never going to act like any rational person would ever act. When you’re a boring loser in highschool you will instinctively find ways to put yourself above the people who you consider to be your ‘enemy’. You’re smarter then them, they’re all druggy sluts, you’re a good person etc.

But the reason why this trope works is because its often presented from the perspective of the teenager, but by the end of the narrative has widened to a more mature point of view. We learn that everyone has their own shit going on, their own insecurities n crap, and by the end of the narrative the characters have literally and figuratively ‘graduated’ from the naive idea that there are inherently good and bad people. 

But Heathers is not about that. 

The popular girls are actually satan. Listen to that song “Candy Store” and think to yourself “do these characters feel like actual people? can i imagine how or why the girls act like this?”

The reason why popular girls are more popular then you is usually because they’re better then you. They’re prettier, funnier, nicer, or altogether more charismatic, and it still boggles my mind that anyone in this school would care what these Heathers bitches think of them. I actually knew girls like the Heathers in highschool myself, and everyone mutually hated them and ragged on them behind their backs because of how vapid and annoying they were. They had power over the freshmen for maybe five minutes before their targets found their own friends to hang out with those bitches are left in the fucking dust. 

And its not just a misconception of the main character, no she seems to be the only girl in her whole fucking school who is like “Um, maybe its????bad to be mean???” and the story treats her like she’s some fucking martyr for it. They even sing a song parodying the fact that a decent highschool narrative you’d expect Heather to be a human being with emotions, by having main girl make up a bunch of bullshit about “Pretty girls have feelings.” the whole thing seems to be a big fuck you to highscool narrative tropes but instead of going in a more realistic direction it just spirals into a petty unrelatable hell. 

Part 2: “If this situation did exist, it wouldn’t be happening to this character.”

Does anyone else find it incredibly far fetched that for some reason whenever a bunch of beautiful teenagers pick on another equally beautiful teenager its usually just because they dont like the color of her hair? I wanna know when we as a society decided that the shorthand for evil beauty is blonde hair, not because I find the trope harmful but just because it feels lazy.

Why isn’t Veronica one of the popular kids? Because she’s a brunette. Why does everyone treat the Heathers like royalty? Because they’re blonde. Does being blonde somehow make you a terrible person? I guess so. Its just a mutually agreed thing at this point. 

But again the reason why the blonde vs brown thing works in other highschool dramas is because the entire thing is based on the main character being petty, and in reality the brown haired girl is just as popular and surrounded by friends she just doesnt realize it because she’s too busy being jealous of some other bitch. 

Veronica is not this. For some reason, a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and generally cool girl has no friends besides The Fat One and everyone treats her like garbage. The fact that she has to seek “protection” from the Heathers at lunch because she gets bullied just for existing would be hilarious if it wasnt so pretentious. 

The play lets is know in no uncertain terms that Veronica is the only decent student at her school, and that none of the ostracization she feels is in her head. Its all real. They all hate her because she’s good and they’re bad, and there is zero tongue and cheek about it. The whole thing feels like a play within another piece of media. Like maybe theres a playwrite who is trying to depict her highschool experience, and its intentionally written to be as shallow and petty as her memories there. 

And even that might be okay if she is portrayed as being just a huge fucking whimp who lets people walk all over her, but nooooo she’s a strong female character! She sings a whole song about how she’s not gonna put up with their shit or let it bother her anymore and says she’s gonna fight back before they ‘come after her’.

Is anyone going to tell her that murder isn’t usually a thing that bullies do?

Like seriously. Bullying is a huge problem that can seriously damage people from the inside out, but its usually not because of any physical damage. If she’s decided that she doesnt give a shit about the Heathers, then thats it. She’s already won. They can’t touch her anymore because if she doesnt care then they’ll inevitably grow bored and do something else. she even has her own friends to hang out with now so its not like she’s being threatened in that way either. But instead she makes a big deal about how she’s a ‘dead girl walking’ like she thinks she’s gonna be shanked in the locker room or something.

But then we get to JD. 

Oh Jason Dean, you poor innocent soul. Unlike Veronica this kid is actually a victim of bullying and abuse, but its not from the so called ‘popular kids’, its from fucking Veronica herself.

Part 3. “Are we not going to talk about the fact Veronica raped a dude?”

Yeah. That shit happened. Here’s the official lyrics:

J.D.(spoken) Veronica? What’re you doing in my room?

VERONICA(spoken) Shhhh.Sorry, but I really had to wake you;See, I decided I must ride you till I break you.'Cause Heather says I got to go;You’re my last meal on death row.Shut your mouth and lose them tighty-whities!Come on!Tonight I’m yours,I’m a dead girl walking!Get on all fours,Kiss this dead girl walking!Let’s go, you know the drill;I’m hot and pissed and on the pill.Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking!

Like I know later on in the song he gives consent n’ shit but its more framed like he lets her because he’s intimidated more then anything else. And whats more from this point onward in the play Veronica pretty much becomes JD’s only emotional outlet. 

As someone whose known a lot of guys in this situation I can tell you that often they will do things they don’t want to to impress the people who they think are their only ally in life. More then anything these kinds of kids just want someone on their side, and will be roped into whatever toxic shit they need to keep these people with them. 

Veronica goes through this guilty arc thing where she blames herself for ‘creating’ him but ultimately realizes that he was always doomed to be this way because of his shitty situation. 

How fucking evil is it to perpetuate this idea? Oh no, Veronica isnt a bad person, she was just trying to help this kid by wrapping him around her finger and making him kill the people she doesn’t like but really its his fault for having a shitty childhood. 

The song “Meant to be Yours” is supposed to be a picture of how twisted and evil JD has become in following revenge, but in reality its nothing like that. It wasnt his revenge, he was doing it for her. Veronica very much did break into his life and rip him to pieces for no reason other then she wanted a lackey to help her get revenge on people who shouldn’t have even bothered her in the first place.

But no, he is ‘damaged’, and the only way to redeem him is to blow himself up so the girl who destroyed him wont have to accept any of the consequences for her actions. 

How the hell does Veronica ‘make things better’ at the end? She slaps a bitch and plans a sleepover. She was already doing that in the beginning. Why did JD have to die? He didnt. He fucking didnt. And the worst thing is that no even cares that he’s gone. 

Not even Veronica. 

She treats him like some kind of tragic monster that had to be killed for the good of mankind and everyone just fucking accepts it. 

So just a recap: Blonde people are evil, everyone will hate you for being a saint, its okay to rape teenage boys if you’ve properly gaslighted them first, and if you are ‘damaged, far too damaged’ it is your responsibility to kill yourself so your abuser can be popular like she always wanted.

What a great show. 10/10. hope it runs forever.

[depresso-expresso101]

my downward spiral from pets

in the past 3 years ive come to a realization that im not meant for pets. context i had 4 hamsters 2 dwarf hamsters and 2 Syrian hamsters all lived in big cages and were separated. 3 years ago i bought 2 identical Syrian hamsters as babies( i named one chaco and i named one teddy) and a year later i bought 2 adult dwarf hamsters one albino one not (one i named dj the other i named snowball) . all was well until a year later, had summer school that day and when i came home i realized something was wrong dj was breathing heavily, he walked up to the class and put his paws onto the window. i picked him up and he curled up in my hand i petted him or the remainder of the time... then he squeaked for a few seconds and then became stiff. he died in my hands that day. a few months passes and it was snowball’s time i knew this was coming because he had a tumor on his chest and it wasnt removable i came home from school and the same thing happened he also died in my hands stiff. from then on i was obsessed about my pet dying i would constantly be worried and freaked out over any small detail. 2 years ago my brother bought a bearded dragon. my fears never left me and all this made my ocd worse. i feared that one day i will come from home and i would never see my hammys bright eyes look at me with joy when play time comes around or i would never cuddle with em in my hoodie again...20 fucking 20 during the covid 19 pandemic in may chaco passed away i held him in my arms as i kept him warm he violently shok for a second before he couldnt stand anymore and what i didnt expect and what would stay with me is that he died limp and with his eyes wide open.. moments after he died my parents started teasing me on how im a baby and that “its just an animal” they would just ay “look at them crying over a rat” and they would scoff and mock me every time one of my hamsters died i became so depressed that i became violently sick. now its teddy’s turn and im so worried  that i will wake up and he wont be there thats all that ive been thinking about for the past few months hes bloated and doesn't have much time left. my bearded dragon is completely healthy but i spend the nights from 1-6 in the morning just walking around and checking if all my pets are still breathing and this really damaged me as a person sorry for bothering you all with my rant

#personal rant #sorry for the rant #need to get this out of my system #my rants