#the kinda pride i had like. two or three years ago! when i wasn't so highly aware of how deeply the hatred runs
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Joel Fucking Miller
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (Can be pictured as either HBO or Video Game version)
Word Count: 8.1k
Tags/Warnings: NO use of Y/N, Smut with a lil garnish of angst, kinda mean Joel, Borderline Dark!Joel, but consent is given at a point, one singular spank, rough piv sex, exhibition kink, slight humiliation/degradation, possessive behavior, enemies to lovers-ish?, reader is a menace but we love her, spit kink, anal play, this is pure filth and I'm not sorry
Summary: You and Joel Miller have been sworn enemies from the very start, both of you at each other’s other's throats since the first glance. What he can't know is that you have been harboring a stubborn crush on him this whole time---It’s not until he has you up against a wall that you realize he feels the same way.
A/N: Now that I have all of my one-shots posted, I'm going to start posting my ongoing stories as well as some new works. I'm almost finished with the Frankie Sex Pollen fic so that will be posted sometime this week. I will also be working on creating both a masterlist and a recommendation list, so hopefully that should be done soon too. Thanks for reading!
***
Today has been a shitty fucking day—no pun intended.
Not to say every day isn’t shitty here in the QZ, but this one really takes the cake. To start your fabulous day, you woke up an hour late, making you one of the last people in line to pick up jobs. When you got to the assigning station, you found that you had been left with two options for the week: janitorial service at one of the mess halls, and sewer duty—where you literally have to shovel shit. The only card left for the mess hall was an all-day shift. You took them both.
That's why you find yourself here now, below the city, finishing up sewer duty, covered head to toe in stench and sweat even though it’s the middle of winter. You’re pretty sure you are the last one down here; it’s been a while since you saw or heard anyone else. You aren’t surprised. You’re used to being the only one who cares enough to actually finish whatever job you were tasked with that day, no matter how repulsive it may be.
You don't take pride in much, but you are willing to admit that you admire that quality about yourself. You are a damn hard worker and you aren’t afraid to show it. You have no idea where it stems from, maybe your stubbornness, or possibly your inner perfectionist. Whatever it is, you find yourself often wishing that more people would have the same mindset. God knows it would make your life easier at the very least. In the time you have spent in the Boston QZ, you have only had the pleasure—or maybe you should say displeasure—of meeting one other like-minded person.
You became acquainted with Joel Miller within the first day of being in the QZ, which was about three years ago now. The first glance you got of him was as you were being hauled through the gates, lucky enough to have not been shot on the spot when a couple of FEDRA officers caught you hiding out in the woods. Your eyes met his before they met anyone else's, and he’d held your gaze, his expression anything but welcome, as if he were trying to evaluate you with one look.
By the looks of it, he had to be at least a couple of decades older than you, but that didn’t stop the heat that started to simmer between your legs at the first glance you got of him. When his eyes didn't leave yours, you took it as a challenge and forced yourself to keep your gaze on him until he was completely out of sight. You knew what you were doing, and so did he, both of you deciding on the spot that you would be enemies until one of you either died or left.
Sure, you knew that it probably wasn't the best idea to piss people off before you made any allies, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. From the first second you saw that man, you knew that one way or the other—one of them being a heated feeling you chose to ignore—he would be trouble. As per usual, you were right. If you didn't know any better, you would have said that he was dead-set on following you around, bumping into you at almost every job you took. At first, you had been convinced that he had been doing just that.
The first couple of times it happened you considered it some stupid coincidence, some twisted kind of unluckiness. Granted, it wasn't every time, but it was more often than not, and that was more than enough for you. By the fifth or sixth time out of ten, you waited until the very end of the shift, until it was only Joel and yourself left working. You kept a close eye on him, and as soon as he started wrapping up, you cornered him. That had been the first time that you had ever actually spoken to each other instead of tossing nasty glances back and forth.
You had immediately gone to work with your rushed interrogation, demanding him to tell you why he was following you, to tell you what his problem was. The most frustrating part of the whole ordeal was the way he had sat back, leaning on one leg with his arms crossed, his expression bored as he waited for you to finish. He said nothing until he was positive that you had nothing more to say.
“I ain't followin’ you, kid,'' he had said, his voice deep and more pleasant than you would have liked it to be. His tone was hard, as you had expected it would be, but the tangy southern drawl and depth of his voice took you off guard, an unwelcome heat suddenly forming between your legs—which only pissed you off more.
The stone-cold look in his too-pretty eyes only worsened the feeling, and suddenly you found that you weren't able to speak; you didn't even know what you had come up to say at this point. “Don’t fuckin’ bother me again,” he muttered and pushed past you before you could realize you had been staring.
***
“You just gonna fuckin’ stand there all day?” A much too familiar voice pulls you out of your thoughts and back into reality. Speak of the fucking devil.
“Just finishing up, Miller,” you spit, not bothering to look in his direction. You can hear him start to walk up to you but you ignore it, opting instead to actually finish what you had been doing. It only takes a few more seconds, and by that time, you can practically feel Joel staring a hole into your back, no more than a few feet behind you now.
He doesn't move, so you continue to ignore him and start walking to the ladder so you can get out of this literal shit hole. You only make it a few steps before you realize that he is moving with you, following at the same distance he had stopped at before. Your jaw ticks as you spin around on your heel, so suddenly that Joel almost knocks into you.
“Is there something I can help you with?” you ask him as sweetly as you can manage, the fire in your eyes contradicting your tone. His own eyes narrow as he takes a step back, crossing his arms in his usual fashion.
“Maybe you should learn how to help yourself first before you go offerin’ it to other people, princess.” He says the name as an insult, and you have to bare your teeth to keep your composure.
“What the fuck is that even supposed to mean, old man?” You ask him, taking a step toward him. He doesn't back away this time, instead taking a step toward you in reciprocation. The two of you lock gazes and stare at each other for what could have been ten seconds or ten days before Joel breaks the trance and shoves past you instead of answering.
You just stand there and let him climb the ladder to the street above you. You can see right through him, the asshole wants a reaction, and you're not going to grant him that satisfaction—not this time anyway.
You wait for a few minutes until you can be sure that he's long gone before you grit your teeth and turn on your heel, walking to the ladder and hoisting yourself up. As you reach the surface you catch a whiff of yourself and scrunch your nose. You need a fucking shower.
***
The next day, you wake up in a sour mood, already dreading today's job—janitorial services. At least it's not scooping shit this time. You’re the first one there, as per usual. The hall is a mess after breakfast and you take a deep breath as you think about the fact that even after you scrub it spotless, it will be trashed again by the end of lunch and then again after dinner.
To top it all off, it's ridiculously cold in the room, the fire lit in the back of it not doing much to increase the temperature. You look down at your white cotton t-shirt under your flannel and find yourself wishing you had put a thicker undershirt on.
There aren't many people working with you on the first shift, only the usual other three this morning, not that you're complaining of course, it just means fewer people to get in your way. You keep your eyes to yourself most of the time, only looking at someone if they address you to ask for help or to comment on something. Before you know it, lunch has come and gone and you are preparing for dinner.
You notice halfway through that time that your friend is working the second shift, and she approaches you so you can work together for the rest of the time, though she only has the after-lunch shift. Rachel is a hard worker for the most part, though she likes to slack off a lot, but you appreciate the help while you have it. The two of you gossip and joke quietly until it's time for her to leave and time for you to sit back and wait for the dinner crowd to flood in.
***
It feels like a week has passed by the time the last person clears out after dinner, and you breathe a sigh of relief—you’re so close to getting back to your apartment and into your welcoming bed. You immediately get to work on sweeping up the trash that collected underneath the tables, eager to get out of here.
There are only two other people working with you this shift, which is weird because FEDRA usually has at least four people on each job, but you brush it off. They seemed to know each other and they blab amongst themselves as they work. At least the couple seemed like they were in the same mindset when it came to getting this job done, so you didn’t mind the fact that you are missing a crew member.
Halfway through your sweeping, you hear the door slam open, startling you and the couple that is now busy with taking leftover dishes into the kitchen. The chill that sweeps through the large room makes you assume it was just a gust of wind, probably blowing snow into the doorway.
Great, something else to clean, you think as you huff an annoyed breath.
When you turn to face the sound though, you find yourself wishing that the problem had been snow, but of course, when did anything ever go your way? The supposed gust of wind is actually Joel fucking Miller.
Your mood immediately sours and you have to fight not to roll your eyes as you watch him slink into the room and follow the couple into the kitchen. You hear the girl inform him that he was late—as if he didn’t know, or care for that matter. He only grunts in response. You don’t bother to stop your eyes from rolling to the back of your head. If Joel sees it, he doesn't say anything.
***
An hour later, Joel hasn’t bothered you, much to your relief. The only time you have to look up from your work is when the couple from earlier bids you farewell before they walk out the door. There is nothing left to do but scrub the tables, which you are doing now.
You only have two to go, and then you’re free for the rest of the night. Now that you're the only one left, the room is almost eerily silent, the only sound being the drip of water as you dip your sponge into the bucket and wring it out. After the table you are working on is thoroughly cleaned, you move on to the last one. It sits right next to the busted window, and you shiver as you walk past it.
“Cold, sweetheart?” The baritone voice sounding from behind you just about causes you to jump out of your skin, the bucket of water in your grasp suddenly spilling over your front. Of course, it was a huge fucking bucket, so it was enough water to coat almost your entire body.
The white t-shirt you have on under your thick flannel is soaked through so that it’s practically transparent. Dropping the now empty tub to the floor with a loud clang, you swivel on your heel to face Joel, who is leaning against the wall to his right, arms crossed.
If he sees the fire in your eyes, he ignores it as he smirks at you, obviously humored by your reaction—and likely by the fact that he can see your bra. Your mouth opens and closes repeatedly, every expletive or reprimand that comes to mind doesn’t seem to cover what you want to say.
As you stand there soaked in dirty, soapy water, you find that you can do nothing but stare. Your gaze is stuck on the man still standing in front of you, not a twinge of empathy in his own, which he has trained on you in return. You have no idea how long the two of you stay rooted to the same spots, staring each other down, but it must have been at least a few minutes because you can feel your body start to involuntarily shiver as your drenched form begins to freeze.
Of fucking course you had to have been standing right next to the broken, half-assed boarded-up window, and not by the fire that still rages into the chimney on the other side of the room.
The cool air sweeping in seems to trap you in its frigid grasp, threatening to turn the grayish liquid that covers you into ice. You can't help it as you finally move, bringing your arms up to cross over your chest in a feeble attempt to warm your rapidly cooling body and cover your exposed undergarment. You flinch as your arm presses the freezing fabric closer to your skin.
The action seems to break the invisible spell that had set over the two of you because Joel takes that as his queue to take a step back off the wall and lift his chin. The movement makes him look bigger and you have to lift your own to look into his eyes again. You can only hope he sees the fury that burns on your own. If looks could kill, he would be dead on the floor right now.
“You’re fucking joking,” you are the first to break the silence. The quiver in your voice would be embarrassing if not for the fact that it was placed there out of anger. The asshole who put it there must know it too because you can see the way he swallows as if trying to rid himself of his guilt, though if that’s what he is feeling, he doesn’t show it any other way.
You can expect that the action will be the only sign of such a thing—if Joel Miller doesn't want to feel a certain way, he doesn’t, simple as that. You have never once met a man more rude, nor stubborn as the one currently in front of you.
“Didn’t realize I was bein’ funny,” he says, straight-faced with that stupid southern drawl that you have come to despise. You don’t reply as you continue to stare daggers at him, and you can't tell what’s making you shake more at this point—the layer of fucking ice about to coat your body, or the unmatched rage that brews in your mind.
Right now, you would place your bets on the rage, considering it’s actually starting to warm you up. The sight of Joel, arms crossed to mimic your own, still staring down at you like he's some fucking god, only fuels the feeling. Sighing quietly, your eyes shut as you try to calm yourself down before you say something you would really regret. It only takes a few seconds until you speak again, which might not have been long enough, truthfully speaking.
“That was pretty fucking shitty, even for you, Miller.” You manage to get the sentence out through gritted teeth, but it sounds strained. Anyone would agree that it sounds like you are trying your best to contain yourself, though it’s obviously a task you are struggling with. He says nothing, and his body gives nothing away, so you speak again. He knew exactly what was going to happen if he snuck up on you like that, and he probably didn’t even give it a second thought.
“I mean really, how fucking immature can you be? You really thought scaring me while I was holding a tub of dirty water was the best way to get my attention?” Your mouth starts to let words out before you can even think about what threatens to escape, and there is nothing you can really do but allow it to happen.
Your lips are moving far too quickly for your brain to comprehend at this point, your anger completely taking over. As hard as it can be to hold yourself back from an argument sometimes, you always managed—but this was the last fucking straw.
“And why the fuck are you even here? You obviously don’t have anything left to do.” Your voice is quickly raising but you doubt you could do anything about that even if you wanted to right now. Of course, it doesn’t matter how loud you get, you could probably scream right in his face, it never seems to affect him.
“Seemed lonely,” he says simply, shrugging and shifting off of the wall. He looks at your bewildered expression and decides it would somehow make it better if he elaborated, though you both know that he only does it to dig further under your skin.
“Never got anyone around, s’ all. Too fuckin’ stubborn n’ self-absorbed to make any friends.” His tone is condescending and nonchalant at the same time, like he is both stating a fact and trying to beat you down. You continue to stare at him as he finishes. This is a whole new level, one you wouldn’t even have assumed Joel would ever jump to.
You’ll admit it, he’s managed to find one of your most delicate insecurities, and he knows it, too. Even before the outbreak, you always had trouble making friends, your anxiety and general mistrust always got in the way. Every time you thought you were getting close to someone, you would push them away. It was your biggest fear, being betrayed by someone close to you—a worse fear, you decided, than being alone.
To this day, you have only ever let one person really get to know you. When you met Rachel during your first week in the QZ, she showed you a sort of open kindness that let you know she was a good one. You knew then, and you know now, that she would never do anything to hurt you in any way.
In the time that you've gotten to know her, she’s become the best friend you’ve ever had, and the only one you wanted. But she is only one person after all, and she can’t spend all of her time with you, so you find yourself on your own most of the time—and of course, Joel Miller, of all people, would pick up on it.
“You are such an asshole, Joel,” you spew out after a moment. “And you have the audacity to call me lonely?” You can't help the tears that start to blur your vision, so you ignore them as you continue to rant, your hands now flying wildly. The pit of insecurity in your stomach is starting to grow to the point where you feel like it will swallow you whole.
“You act like you’re so much fucking better than me! Who do you have?” Through your watering eyes, you can see the way Joel flinches slightly, and as much as it pleases you that you seem to have finally found a soft spot, it also eggs you on. You recognize it and think to yourself that he's a fucking idiot for pointing out the fact that you don’t have anyone in your corner when he has the same exact problem.
“Huh? You say I'm alone, and maybe I am, but I’ve never seen you with anybody.” Your vision starts to clear as you feel hot tears begin to streak down your already-soaked cheeks, allowing you to see the deep scowl set on Joel's face. It almost scares you how mad he looks, but it's too late to back down now.
You stare at him for a moment, waiting for him to say something, but it never comes. His silence only encourages you, and you know you probably seem immature as you continue to insult him, but it gets pushed to the back of your mind as you quickly realize it’s the least of your worries right now. Your tears are streaming freely at this point, your breaking point finally has been reached. The words are coming out faster than you care to stop them.
“You have no fucking friends, Joel,” you spit out. That one definitely struck a nerve, and you watch as he takes a step towards you, his face giving you a warning expression as if he already knows what you are going to say next. You know his history, and you know it's a bad idea, you know it is, but you say it anyway.
“You have no friends…” You pause, your brain subconsciously trying to talk you out of what you’re about to do. Of course, you don't listen. “...and you have no fucking famil-” you get cut off as Joels hand makes contact with your throat, his grip crushing your windpipe as he pushes you back until you hit the wall and lifts you onto your toes so you are looking into his rage-filled eyes.
He says nothing for a moment as he lets you struggle in his firm grasp, watching you writhe and try to gulp in air. The panic that courses through your body is almost paralyzing, sending a hot flash throughout your entire body as your brain catches up with what's happening.
You find yourself panicking even more when you realize that fear isn’t the only thing your senses seem to be overwhelmed with as his hand tightens around your neck. The wetness beginning to gather in your panties is suddenly the biggest problem you are faced with, an unwelcome feeling or arousal suddenly making itself known.
Everything seems to be happening in slow motion as you feel your hands start to claw at the one wrapped around your neck, no doubt leaving raised scratch marks across his wrist. The man doesn't wince or falter though, as you struggle to try to pry his hand away. You can feel your mouth opening and closing, though you’re unsure of what you are trying to say. You suspect it's something along the lines of “Please”, but no sound comes out.
Eventually, after you realize that nothing is going to come from your struggle, you let your body fall limp, the only movement left is the tears that still crawl tauntingly down your cheeks. Though some of them may still be from the anger that had overcome you before you felt his large palm on your throat, most of them are now evidence of your shame.
Logically, you reason that there is no way for him to know what kind of response his aggressive actions pulled from you, but you can't help but feel like somehow, he can see right through you.
Upon seeing you submit, Joel lifts you more until you are close enough to feel his hot breath fan across your face. He loosens his grip enough so that you are allowed to catch a breath, but not enough for you to fall away from him. He starts to lower his arm, letting your feet hit the ground, but he leans his body down with your own so that his face stays less than an inch away from your own the entire time.
You know that realistically, he only had you in the air for a few seconds, but it felt like an hour with the fear—and unexpected lust—that was coursing through your veins. Though you are still trembling with the silent threat he delivered, you seem to be able to calm down a little as his hand loosens and slides around to the back of your neck, only holding you in place.
You stare into his eyes because you have nowhere else to look, and are almost surprised to see the array of emotions on display. You see anger, impatience, annoyance, a hint of restraint, but the one that seems to dominate them all is the one that takes you aback the most. You see in his eyes, what must be a reflection of your own.
Your mouth drops open again as you begin to place the look of longing and desire that burns in Joel's gaze as he stares you down, his mouth just centimeters from your own. You take a chance and allow yourself to look down at the way his lips almost brush yours, his own mouth parted as you both try to calm your ragged breathing.
You have no idea why you suddenly feel this way—well, you do, you just refuse to admit it. You hate his fucking guts because he is the only man that has made you feel something since before the outbreak. Every time you look at him, it is evidence that you are still capable of letting your guard down, that you are still weak.
You promised yourself the first time you understood what the potential problem with Joel Miller could be, that you wouldn’t allow it to become one. But this god-damned man makes it so fucking hard to keep that in check when he is staring at you like he wants to ruin you.
You feel his hand tighten around you again, and you snap your eyes back up to his, suddenly blushing as you realize that you have been staring at his lips for far too long. For once, you are at a loss for words, you have no idea what to say that might save your ass from looking like you had been doing exactly what you had. Thankfully, you don't have to wonder for long because Joel cuts right back to the chase, seemingly shaking himself out of his own thoughts as he speaks again.
“You want to try that again, little girl?” Fuck. How the fuck are you supposed to ignore the pit forming in your stomach when he says shit like that? You are too caught up in thinking of a response to answer him immediately, and he clearly doesn’t appreciate that as he shifts his position, pushing you back further into the wall behind you.
When he moves, you realize that one of his legs is slotted between your own, and your eyes widen as you feel how close his thigh is to your center—one little movement and you will give yourself away. You must be dripping at this point, and if he's not close enough to feel the heat coming off your cunt from where he stands right now, he will be if he moves any closer.
Steeling yourself, you opt not to speak as you bring your hands back up to grasp at his wrist again. Joel watches as you struggle to get a grip before he growls and uses his free hand to grab both of yours and place them on the wall above your head. Your eyes somehow widen even more and you want to shrivel up into a ball as you feel the blood rush to your cheeks.
You need to move now. You can't let this man see what he does to you, the way your body reacts to the way he so easily dominates you. You know that you have no time to plan anything out, so you do the first thing that comes to mind—you try to tug your hands out of his grip and you lunge to the side.
You’re not sure why you even attempt it, you know that it won't get you anywhere, but you do it anyway. Of course, he overpowers you once again, and nothing changes but his grip, both of his hands tightening as he leans in even closer to you. The new position causes his thigh to crush into your throbbing clit, and before you can stop it, a whimper breaks through your lips.
Nothing is said for a moment as you stare at Joel with shame, and him at you with a newfound amusement. You can feel yourself melting on the spot, and you let your head hang in humiliation, your eyes trained on the ground next to Joel, who is now smirking as he stares back at you. You feel his thigh crush into you again, deliberately this time, and you have to bite your lip and close your eyes in concentration so as to not give away any more sounds.
You hear Joel chuckle darkly above you, and the sound goes straight to your pussy. How are you supposed to resist this man when he sounds like that, when the rough denim of his jeans is rubbing you in all the right places as he begins to rock his thigh back and forth, making you bite your lip even harder. The hand on your neck suddenly releases its grip and you feel his thumb come to your mouth, tugging your bottom lip until it falls away from the punishing bite of your teeth.
“C’mon now, princess,” you hear Joel speak again and you can't help but moan softly as he sets his hand on your hip, starting to guide you across his firm thigh.
“You’ve given yourself away now, you ain’t gonna get outta this one.” His tone is taunting as he presses down on your hip, bringing you down harder against him.
The pressure on your clit is almost overwhelming with pleasure, and you find yourself moving on your own, beginning to chase the orgasm that has suddenly come within your grasp. You can’t help it with the way your wet jeans rub you just right and the firmness of his thigh is just enough to push the seam of them onto all the right places.
“F-fuck you, Miller,” you say, opening your eyes and bringing your head back up to look into his eyes, hoping the anger is apparent in yours. He stares at you for a moment before he speaks again.
“Yeah, I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t ya?” He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he moves his hand down to where your cunt meets his thigh, and places his thumb right on your clit, rubbing quick circles. The touch is all you need to send you over the edge, becoming a moaning mess under Joel’s body. He’s right of course, you want him to fucking ruin you. God, you hate it when he’s right.
He continues the circles on your clit as you come down from your high, riding you through it. When you are finally able to catch your breath, you look him in the eye to find him staring right back at you. His gaze is intense and full of want.
“You want me to quit, darlin?” You can tell by the way he says it, that he asks genuinely. He would stop if you said the word. As much as you want to hate him, you know that he is respectful enough that he wouldn’t do anything to that effect without your consent.
Joel may be an asshole, but he would never put his hands on a woman in that sense if she showed any sign of resistance. Though he didn’t seem to have a problem with wrapping his palm around your throat.
“I can give you more, all you have to do is ask,” Joel says after you don't answer him. His gaze is hungry as he waits for your consent, his eyes slowly tracing up and down your body, taking you in. When he looks back to your face, you nod slowly, watching as his already blown-out pupils seem to take over his irises.
“I'm gonna need to hear you say it, darlin,” he says as he brings his chin up to the side of your head, nibbling your earlobe and making you shiver.
“P-please, Joel,” you say, giving up the act. You know you want him, he knows you want him, and now you know he wants you, too.
“I need you, please.” At your signal, he doesn't wait any longer as he starts to pull you away from the wall, his free hand traveling back to the back of your neck, the other still grasping your wrists. Before you can figure out where he’s moving you to, your chest slams onto one of the tables, the force almost enough to knock the wind out of you. You had expected him to be rough, but not this rough… not that you mind. He’s clearly done with being gentle with you now that he has free reign.
“Jesus, Joel,” you say, throwing him a look over your shoulder as much as you can with your neck still being pinned down.
“You fucking mind?” You hear Joel chuckle behind you and feel him step closer to you, pressing himself against your ass and leaning over so that his chest is flush with your back.
“Nope, not at all.” His breath tickles your ear as he whispers into it.
“Now I'd be quiet if I were you, girl,” he tells you, his tone almost threatening. “Unless you want to wake the whole town, of course, cause now that I’ve started, I ain't gonna stop.” Your eyes widen and a whimper falls from your lips as he finishes his threat and pushes his top half off of you.
“Maybe you’d like that, huh, little girl?” he pauses his sentence to rip your pants and panties down in one fluid motion, making you cry out.
“Let the whole town watch me fuck you, show everyone who you belong to, who this cunt belongs to.” He knows you too fucking well, knows that you’re thinking about it now, salivating over the thought of someone walking in on you like this, your pants around your ankles, him, balls deep inside of you, taking what he wants.
“Dirty little girl, out here whorin’ herself out to me so quick. Slut’s just damn desperate for some good fuckin’ cock.”
You hear a sharp zip from somewhere behind you and you struggle out of instinct, pushing up on the hand holding you down. He ignores your protest and slams himself into you, sheathing himself in one fluid motion, giving you no warm-up or time to adjust.
You expected him to be big, but you weren't expecting this. He's fucking huge, stretching you out and reaching depths you didn't even know existed. You scream out at the sudden burning intrusion and Joel moves the hand that isn't on your neck to your mouth, silencing you halfway through the outburst.
The tears that fall from your eyes catch on the palm of his hand as he brings his cock almost all the way out before slamming himself back in, setting a brutal pace.
“Tha’s alright baby, Ima take good care of you,” Joel assures you through gritted teeth. “Make you feel real good creamin’ all over my fat cock.”
Your fingernails scrape the surface of the table once he releases your hands, scrambling for purchase as Joel slams into you without remorse. You’re almost surprised at how quickly you feel the knot in your stomach start to build back up, the pain promptly turning to pleasure as Joel brutally shoves his cock into your already-sore pussy.
The sounds of Joel's grunts, your muffled sobs, and the squelching of your cunt quickly fill the room, you would be embarrassed if you weren’t so cock-drunk on Joel. Right now, the only thing you can focus on is the way the head of his dick slams into your G-spot with every harsh thrust.
The way his dick drags against your walls makes you clench with every swift pass. That combined with the way his hips slap against your ass might just be the best thing you’ve ever felt.
Your body begins to go slack, your stomach and chest pressing harder into the table, you barely even register Joel's hand being removed from your mouth until you hear your unfiltered moans break through.
“Jus’ wait one second, darlin,” Joel's voice is strained as he talks. You try to nod back at him but find that it's a bit hard when your bones have melted. His pace never falters as he reaches down to where he pulled his pants down just enough to free his thick cock and heavy balls.
When his hand finds the open buckle of his belt, he tugs it through the loops and uses the edge of the table to fold it once before bringing it to your lips, pushing it toward you until you bite down on it.
He tells you something, by his tone it sounded like a command, but you can’t seem to make out the request. If you weren’t drooling before, you certainly are now with the taste of leather on your tongue. Joel smirks to himself as your moans quiet down with the help of the belt.
“There ya go, such a good girl holdin’ on t’ that for me,” he runs his fingers through your hair as you keen at his praise. He can feel your cunt tighten around him as your second orgasm approaches once again and he has to steel himself so as not to come right then and there like some teenager. Instead, he brings his hand down to touch your clit again, not with his thumb, but with his middle three fingers, rubbing up and down, immediately setting a furious pace.
The new sensation combined with the pistoning of his hips pushes you over the edge and you have to bite down on the belt so you don't scream as you receive the hardest orgasm you’ve ever had. It's like nothing you’ve ever felt before, the white-hot pleasure almost blinding you, and the force of it almost pushing him out of your cunt.
You sob as you listen to Joel talk you through it, telling you how good you're doing for him, how you were made for him to stuff his cock into. His pace never falters as you gush around him, but he does push himself further into you so as to not be forced out of you.
The strength of his thrust is enough to surge you forward, the table screeching on the concrete floor below you as it too is moved forward slightly. After you come down completely from your high, he grasps your hands and tugs them behind your back for leverage, fucking down into you to chase his own pleasure.
“Goddamn, darlin, tight, young, little cunt, squeezin’ the fuckin’ life outta me.” His dirty words are almost humiliating as he throws them out, but you love every moment of it, the way you clench around his cock giving you away quickly.
“Oh, you like that, little slut?” he almost sounds surprised as he continues rambling.
“Filthy little thing, lettin’ some old man stuff his cock into your sweet little pussy. ‘F you didn’t take dick so good I would think you’d be a damn virgin.” You whine beneath him as much as you can with the leather between your teeth, a shameless request for him to keep talking.
“Yeah, you like that, huh, little girl?” He grants your wish, spewing more filthy comments every few thrusts. “Like bein’ told what a f-fuckin’ whore you are f’ me?” You keep, drooling on the belt trapped between your teeth.
Suddenly, you feel the large hand that was pinning your neck disappear, only to reappear on your ass, making your eyes widen as Joel quickly slides to your other hole, his thumb right above the tight ring of muscle.
Usually, you would want to struggle, but for some reason, the thought of Joel taking you there is something you find yourself wanting. He feels you squeeze around him again and he chuckles at your desperation.
“Now, you’re just full of surprises, ain't ya, princess?” He says, his voice even more strangled than it was before. It almost sounds like it should be painful for him to talk. He stops talking for a moment to allow his saliva to drip down and slide down your ass crack.
“You’d let me fuck you here, wouldn't you, little girl?” Fuck this man, you both know the answer to that.
“Put my dick in this pretty little ass?” When you don't object, you feel him spit on top of his thumb again before pushing it into you.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head and your toes curl as he slides his thumb into you until he can’t anymore. The intrusion triggers your third orgasm, your body melting into the table as you press back into him. It’s less intense than the first two, but you are still fully consumed by the waves of pleasure that wash over you.
If you had been standing, you would have fallen to your knees. You’ve never felt so full in your life, the feeling almost overwhelming as he leans on top of you again, continuing to whisper filth into your ear. You can tell he’s getting close by the way he lets go of your wrists and tangles his fingers into your hair, slamming himself somehow even deeper inside of you.
“Tell me who these fuckin’ holes belong to, princess,” he spews out through gritted teeth, pulling the belt away from your mouth and throwing it somewhere off to the side.
“Who makes you feel good, makes these little holes feel good?” When you don't answer immediately, your unleashed moans and whimpers making it almost impossible, he uses the hand that’s not fingering your ass to deliver a sharp slap to your left cheek.
“Fuck, fuck Joel it’s you,” you practically sob as you tell him what he wants to hear, what you want him to hear.
“T-these holes are yours Joel, you make them feel so good, they belong to you, all yours,” you cry out frantically. Satisfied with your response, he rubs over the red spot on your skin before returning his hand to your neck.
“That's right,” he praises you softly and you soak up every word. “Such a good fuckin’ girl, knowin’ who she belongs to.” He thrusts into you half a dozen more times before his pace finally starts to falter.
“W-where do you want me, sweet thing?” As he asks you, all you can think is “fuck this man for being respectful with shit like that.” If he hadn’t asked, you probably would have shoved him away, but instead, you make another stupid decision—why the fuck not at this point?
“I-inside, Joel, inside me, oh my god, fucking c-come inside me,” you’re only slightly aware of how desperate you sound as you beg for his cum, but again, you can’t seem to find it in you to care. You let your cheek rest on the cool surface of the table and close your eyes, too exhausted to hold yourself up any longer.
You hear Joel groan and start to say something above you, but he cuts himself off as he releases inside you with a strangled moan, almost like he is biting down on his lip so as not to shout.
A stream of curses laced with your name spills from his lips as he twitches and pulses inside you. The feeling of his hot cum spilling into you is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. It seems like forever before he stills, practically collapsing on top of you, his cum dripping around his softening cock and down your thighs.
Despite his weight on top of you, you think you could probably manage to fall asleep there. Your body has never felt so spent and tired, every muscle sore in one way or another. Joel waits only a minute before lifting himself off of you, and you attempt to lift your head to follow his movement, only for your cheek to be gently pressed back onto the table by his palm.
“Jus' hold on a second, princess.” His tone is softer than you’ve ever heard it, and it makes your heart warm, but you can't resist the perfect opportunity to tease him as it presents itself.
“You’re happier after you get your dick wet,” you say with a small smile as you follow his request, letting your eyes close as you bask in the feeling of euphoria that’s taken over your body.
At your snippy comment, you expect him to scold you, or maybe to swat your behind, which is still presented for him. What you don’t expect is to feel his tongue on your spent cunt. Your body jolts and your eyes snap open at the unexpected feeling, your reflexes causing you to try to sit up again, only to be pushed down by Joel’s hand on your lower back.
“I said to wait a second, darlin’,” he says as he pulls away from you, his tone more stern now. He waits until you nod your head to return to your pussy, dipping into your hole and lapping up your mixed release. You shudder as his tongue grazes your overstimulated clit, but do your best to hold still for him.
After he seems to have gotten his fill, you feel him pull away again and stand up to lean over you. His hand suddenly grabs your chin, making you twist your neck slightly so that you are looking up at him. He keeps his mouth shut as he brings it to his own before squeezing your cheeks, making you open your lips, and drops his jaw open.
You gasp as you feel the combination of his spit and your cum mixed with his own slowly spill onto your tongue. He keeps his eyes open and locked onto yours as he keeps your lips together and lets the liquid drip into your mouth. When he pulls away, he replaces his lips with his hand, forcing your mouth shut.
“Swallow,” he commands. You obey without a second thought and let the substance slip down your throat. He smiles when he's sure you’re done and moves his hand, motioning for you to open up. You do, and he smirks as he sees every drop gone.
“Good girl,” he mutters as he lays back down on top of you, and you let your body rest on the table again, enjoying the feel of his body on top of yours. As the two of you stay there, catching your breath, you feel Joel's chest start to vibrate against your back in silent laughter. You furrow your brows and attempt to stand and roll him off you, but only succeed in the latter, your legs failing as if they were made of jello.
Joel stands back and tucks himself back into his jeans as you slump back down on the table, temporarily accepting defeat. You see him take a seat in the chair next to you out of the corner of your eye, his chest still rattling the slightest bit.
“What the fuck do you find so funny, bastard?” You slur your words, your tone is a lot less fierce than you had wanted it to be. He looks at you before answering, and you feel your both heart and your cunt clench at the almost adoring look in his eyes as he meets your gaze. Maybe the asshole will try to be decent for a moment, his expression promising.
“Looks like your gonna have t’ scrub this table again, princess,” he says, his tone toeing the line of playful. You feel your lips tug up into a smile as you recognize the fact that this is probably Joel being friendly. Or at the very least, he’s not at your throat at the moment—in a bad way anyway—so you’ll take it. Upon seeing your smile, he sits back further and allows himself a small smile of his own as he continues to watch you sink into the polished wood beneath you.
“Fuck you, Miller,” you say. You erupt into a quiet yet delirious fit of exhausted giggles, Joel following soon after with his own gentle chuckle.
“Might have t’ give me a second for that, princess.”
*****
Pt. 2 here
#joel miller#fan fiction#pedro pascal#ao3#smut#pedro pascal smut#joel miller smut#bless this mess#the last of us#tlou#we likey?#exhibition kink#enemies to lovers#dark!joel miller
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Hanging on Hangman
Summary: Hangman has a crush on the captain's girl and they love to tease each other, but this time it became a bit uncomfortable, especially for Maverick watching you from the distance.
Pairing: Pete “Maverick” Mitchell x younger fem!reader
W/C: 2k
Rating: PG | mentions of sex, but nothing descriptive, age gap
TWs: none
A/N: Poor Hangman </3 | What inspired this scene
Masterlist | List of tags
The summer was really hot and if you were totally honest with yourself, you kinda hated it. Well, the sun was nice, but the temperatures... You definitely didn't like that the sundress you were currently wearing was sticking uncomfortably to your skin. But still, you liked spending time with your man and his work squad. You were not 100% sure, but there was a high chance, that you were the youngest of them all, considering all the ranks, medals, and missions that you saw on their uniforms at every official ceremony, because if not - where the hell did they get the time to get all of that....?
But right now, you observed the volleyball game everyone else was playing; it's not that they didn't invite you, you just hated being so hot with a passion. That's why you were sipping on a cold drink that Jake brought you just a couple of minutes ago; that boy had a crush on you since he saw you for the first time, but he was never inappropriate, just playfully teasing, and it's not like you weren't teasing him right back.
Like when he brought you a drink, for example. He noticed an unfinished sketch of himself in your notebook and just couldn't help himself and made a sly comment about how he got himself a fan. You instantly shot back that if he wanted a fan so much, you could buy him one in a gift shop. It was all fun and games, and you definitely enjoyed the banter and playful competition that you two had going. But some things were a matter of honor and pride… That's why when he approached you after the finished round and made an offhand comment about your non-exist exercise routine, which was simply not true, you knew you could easily prove him wrong.
Maybe you weren't visibly jacked like the squad, but when you were a little girl, you wanted to hug a polar bear, and your dad told you that you can't hug a bear, without lifting it first. It was a joke of course, but your three-year-old brain took it as an obvious challenge. Plus you didn't want to be rude to a polar bear if that was some sort of a custom. It didn't matter that you've never seen one in real life, you still started "training" in secret by lifting your teddy bears in the air and it went down from there. After the teddy bears, there were puzzles and books with bears in them, and when your dad finally found out, he just couldn't help but laugh and started taking you with him to the gym. First, as a joke, because he was convinced that you will eventually give up, but you just… never did… And even now, you were still lifting, it just wasn't as visible on you as a full-body exercise routine that apparently the whole squad followed. Or they were severely dehydrated. Or both. You on the other hand… When your muscles were relaxed, which was almost always, they were soft, squishy, and basically invisible, that's why you were sure that Jake will take the bait.
- Oh, you're so on, Hangman… I bet you'll be the first one to tap out. - you just couldn't help but grin, because your loud words got the attention of the rest of your friends.
- In your dreams, y/n! - he quickly got up, while the rest of the squad gathered closer to your relaxation station to take a break from playing and see what was going on. - Or maybe there is something else in your dreams…? - he asked with a cocky smile, and you only laughed in reply.
- Hah! You wish. - you replied. - I'll go easy on you, baby, what do you say…? I'll be doing pullups and all you'll have to do is stand there and look pretty, which is what you do best… - you finally proposed.
- Did you hear that guys, she called me pretty! - he put his hand on his heart theatrically, and you couldn't help but notice Maverick observing all of you from a bar, where he just ordered a drink. You waved at him and winked, although you doubted he'd be able to see that from that distance. - Challenge accepted. How exactly do you want me…? - he asked, that cocky grin right back on his face, and it didn't quiver when you playfully slapped his biceps. He of course realized that since there was no place for you to actually do pull-ups, you'll most likely be using him as a prop, not that he minded, on the contrary.
It wasn't the first time you were doing this exercise, so you moved his arms into the right position, making sure that his elbow acted like leverage, so he'd be able to last longer.
- Anyone wanna count for the history books? - you laughed when you made sure that his stance was indeed secure.
- Kick his ass, y/n! - Phoenix hyped you up, and the whole squad followed. When you put your arms around his forearm, gripped it, and hung yourself from it, he realized something - you were a bit heavier than he expected; more muscles on your body than fat. You only grinned, an evil spark in your eyes and you did a first pull-up, no problem. And then another. and another... and one more... And the whole squad counted, while the great captain Mitchell observed you all a bit more intensely than he maybe should.
Because you were more than familiar with this specific position, you were extra careful not to rub Hangman's torso with your abdomen when you were coming down, which required a bit more core engagement than usual, and yet you still started to see a panic setting in his eyes after the 10th one, because he realized what such close proximity did to his body. You saw him swallowing more than usual and pressing his lips into a thin white line, so he wouldn't lose focus. You on the other hand got to 15th without any issues, still being very mindful of the way you were positioning your body; you also couldn't help but get a bit closer to his face when you were in the upper position. You grinned again, the evil spark never leaving your eyes.
- Thinking about tapping out, Bagman? - Phoenix shouted, misunderstanding his facial expression for exhaustion. Sure, his arms started to get tired and he noticed that his muscles were slowly starting to twitch, but that's not what he was afraid of right now. He looked down at the sand because he just knew what would happen if he continue to focus on your face and he definitely didn't want that. He didn't reply to any more provocations from the rest of the squad; he just stood there silently while you were on your 20th pull-up. He was visibly uncomfortable and you noticed... It was all fun and games until both of you were enjoying that, but now...
On the 23rd, you pretended that your hand slipped and you released his forearm to a choir of disappointed groans from the squad. You've landed with your knees on the soft sand and he finally looked you in the eyes... He knew what you did and why, especially when you gave him a soft smile, right before you threw yourself theatrically on the ground giving a performance of a lifetime.
- Bagman wins again!!! Nooooo!!! How will I live now...? - everyone laughed again, seeing how into your defeat you were, and Jake played into it as well, throwing his fists in the air and doing a giant victory lap around all of you, and finally sprinting towards the water to cool off in more ways than one, a cacophony of laughter following him until he reached the shore. Phoenix finally helped you get up and shook some of the sand from your hair. and you did the same with your dress.
- Well, that was fun. - you've laughed and walked back to your chair, but it was currently occupied. You smiled and sat unceremoniously on Maverick's lap reaching for the drink you'd abandoned before this playful competition; fortunately, it was still cold. - Hi... - you smiled, and leaned a bit more into the body below you, while Pete put his hand on your hip and pulled you even closer.
- Hi... - he did his best to return your smile, but there was something dark pooling behind his eyes, and you immediately noticed,
- So guys, now that Bagman is finally out of a game due to his cowardly escape and obvious fear of a possible rematch, are you up for another round? That might be your only chance to play without him, cause he's like a very annoying boomerang. - you joked, but they actually got up and went back to a makeshift volleyball field. You weren't sure if they actually wanted to play more, or if they wanted to give you and Mav some breathing room.
- Spill it... - you said when everyone else was out of earshot.
- I'm... - he started, but one warning look from you and he immediately stopped the white lie from reaching the light of day. Instead, he sighed heavily and slumped a bit in the chair. Your whole relationship was based on communicating and addressing any issue as soon as it came to the surface because you both knew that with this unusual dynamic you shared, you wouldn't survive otherwise. - I'm jealous, ok...? - he finally exhaled, as if the word burned on his tongue from embarrassment, and you couldn't help but smile, only a little though.
- Oh, Pete... - you said gently, your expression immediately softening. You crooked your head, so you could catch his gaze, and when your eyes met, he exhaled loudly.
- I really didn't like how close you were to his body, that you were touching him in the same way you were touching me... And y/n... I know that you could have done more pull-ups, so that means you ended it on purpose... Did he get hard...? - he gritted through his teeth and you just knew today's evening will be amazing; all that pent-up jealousy finding a release in marking you in any and every way possible.
- Honestly...? - it was dangerous to tease him when he was like that, but still, you drew the silence for a few more seconds. - I wouldn't know. - confusion was clearly visible on his face. - Core strength... I only touched his forearm. - you covered his hand that was resting on your hip, with your own, and he immediately intertwined your fingers together. - And when I noticed that he realized he went too far, I just let him have the victory, cause you boys and your pride. - you sighed quietly and rest your head on his chest, feeling him finally relax a bit. - And I reserve all my special moves just for you. - you added, and he couldn't help but laugh, his body vibrating under you.
- Ehhh... Sorry I got like that... I guess I'm still afraid you're gonna exchange me for a younger model. - it wasn't hard to understand where that came from due to the age gap between you two, that's why the communication in your relationship was much more important than anything else; if those feelings were left to fester under his skin, stronger and stronger every day, he finally could have exploded and that was the last thing he wanted.
- I am not going to do that exercise with anyone else. - you smiled, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart mixed with a gentle hum of the waves crashing into the shore. - Beside... I choose you every day. I choose to wake up next to you every day, to live with you, and to invite you into my world. And not to mention - it's your name I'm screaming every night. - Mav hummed in contentment like a cat that drank the creamiest of creams, because in a way - he did. What he did to deserve this divine creature, curled up in his arms despite her open hatred of today's weather - he didn't know. But he was ready to do it every day for the rest of his life.
#my writing#🖤#top gun#top gun fanfiction#Top gun maverick#Pete Mitchell#Pete Mitchell x fem!reader#Maverick x fem!reader#maverick fanfic#Pete Mitchell fanfiction#Jake Seresin#Hangman#Jake Seresin fanfiction#Hangman fanfiction#pete mitchell x reader#maverick x reader
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Chapter 26 - Part 3
You know the drill by now. Part one is here, part two is here...
Yeah, so uhhh, fun fact! In all my years of playing this game, I never once tried to leave Aegis Cave apparently, because this genuinely surprised me. THERE'S AN INVISIBLE WALL. YOU CAN'T LEAVE. YOU CAN ONLY FINISH THE STORY LINE, FAINT, OR USE AN ESCAPE ORB.
And this kinda upset me because, y'know, for the first time this entire damn run, I finally had a pile of Orans and Apples and other basic things, and I wanted to drop them off in storage to make room for more.
The good news: I did in fact pick up an Escape Orb, so we said SEE YUH!
While we were back in town, I fed a Wonder Gummi to Celebi via Rotom's juicebar, and we got two surprises packed into one!
WUH- OKAY THEN.
And now, some moments that nearly gave me a freaking heart attack.
Damage runs deep </3 Hell of a line.
Also, moments that nearly make your eyeballs fall out of your head until you remember your Garchomp has Huge Power.
Speaking of, here is a non-inclusive list of the moves and abilities I remember seeing from the Unown (either in dungeon or from recruits):
Moves:
Ice Ball
Faint Attack
Thrash
Hyper Beam
Luster Purge
Lunar Dance
Gunk Shot
Dark Pulse
Extrasensory
Hammer Arm
Spit Up
Flash Cannon
Abilities:
Sturdy
Illuminate
Truant
Aftermath
Natural Cure
Serene Grace
Bad Dreams
Drizzle
Cloud Nine
Snow Warning
Heatproof
Filter
A true grab bag, which was honestly kind of fun when it wasn't trying to kill us.
Anyway, we only had to go through three times before getting all the stones we needed and then some! IYKYK.
When we return to the waypoint, we do a funky little dance just kidding, we only close our eyes.
So, here I am, entering the Nonsensical Expanse, getting pumped we get to find out who the first of the three Regis are, right?
But then I have something so unexpected happen that my 3DS nearly falls from my hands.
Wh-
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T HERE?!?!?!
No, but I was legitimately upset over this. I consulted my friend @exploring-the-sky to see if love knew anything about it.
Well, this is what happens when you use a build from nearly two years ago, I guess.
At every portion of Aegis Cave, I left at least once and came back, and it was always the same. There was no one to fight. So now we'll never know who Regice is! That beautiful guidepost I put together to translate every character and place from their canon counterparts? You know, my actual pride and joy? I literally CAN'T put anything down for Regice now except ??? or ERROR 404.
THANKS A LOT, GAME!!! >:l
Or just replace it with any Pokémon you want, I don't make the rules here.
Next stop: Neat Creek.
We already have C and K so this shouldn't be too painful... I hope.
Nevertheless, when we inevitably come back around, we find what looks like a letter...
Wait, did y'all actually run into a boss? DID Y'ALL ACTUALLY FIGHT A BOSS?? PLEASE, TEAM CHARM, I'M BEGGING YOU-
Ugh, well. Guess we're about to find out, anyhow. We enter the Colossal Rift and hold our breaths...
OH THANK ARCEUS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE YOU!!
...Words said before disaster, Part 21,894-
Despite our one-two punch of Meteor Mash and Powder Snow on Celebi, Rhyhorn wouldn't go down easy. In fact, he got off some Dragon Dances , which made me kinda nervous! And Seed Flare missed, like, 4 times in a row?? Then I REALLY started to panic when he used Mirror Move! But in the end, we persevered.
Ohhhh, I see... so, Not Regice just granted us the guardian's permission pre-emptively and went "lol bye losers, I'm out"? That's the explanation I'm going with, anyway :P
When we approach the Nonsensical Trench, there seems to be no sign of Team Charm...
We picked up two E stones in the last segment of the dungeon, so all we're missing is S, T, and L.
Why, hello there! This one even gave us a stone right away :)
It turns out Unown S and T also spawn on this very first floor! I stuck it out as long as I could and, lo and behold, we didn't have to go through more than once! \o/
Okay, now you gotta do the ritual thing to move on to Part 4.
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Hi 👋 i'm wondering about 🔥 and 💙
Hiiiii :D had a queer little crisis, channeled it into this essay, bon appetite
🔥 - How has the way you think about yourself changed since you realized you were queer?
I am and was very relaxed with my gender expression, even as a child and was always allowed to dress and act as I liked (or, to be more precise: I took the freedom to don't fall in girly boxes for myself, early and unashamed) - I never thought about it as something “out of the norm”.
So my first conscious queer realisation was about my sexuality at around 16 and even that changed with me as I matured.
At 24 I had a little crisis of sorts cause I realised that my gender wasn't “a little different than most” or just “a little fruity” but rather “not even cis adjacent”.
I did my research about the differences between trans and nonbinary, I sat with my feelings and that new information for six months and then wrote in a letter for the pride Q&A episode of my favorite queer podcast.
I was kinda desperate at this point, cause at this point I didn't have many people to ask very specific queer questions regarding to gender.
The two hosts answered my letter wonderfully and gave me the permission to accept that part of myself unapologetically.
Since then something in me has changed for the better. My self esteem and trust in my queerness has finally solidified and now I find more and more words for my experience.
I found new queer friends after that who came to me for gender advice and that secretly melted my heart, because it meant I had finally met a new milestone without realising: the self assurance I so desperately needed just a year ago had come to me and I was even able to be a friend for it.
I'm sure this will be changed in three years time once again but that thought doesn't scare me anymore - it makes me excited to see what new realisations will happen.
💙 - When you first learned about the Queer community, did you immediately realize ‘That’s me!’ Or did you consider yourself a ‘really good ally’ for some time?
Funny story: my mum had a girlfriend after she divorced my father and so she explained what “lesbian” meant to little four year old me.
I had a little positive brain melt that day cause the world suddenly felt so much bigger and filled with so many more wonders. (I still remember that euphoria fondly)
After that, I forgot about that for a long time...until I couldn't rationalize the girl crushes away anymore at around 16-18. As I had some boy crushes in my time, I was for sure some form of bi/pan, but that realization made me change from my usual “ally :D 🧡” to “ofc that's me. Lol I'm dense sometimes”
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i haven't really talked about this on here or really anywhere but it's been bothering me and i haven't taken the time to like. think through it. so i'm public journaling
last year in march, my boyfriend and i moved into a new apartment, which was great, that isn't the problem. around the same time, i started noticing something was wrong with my back. it was hurting in the same place a lot, but i had sciatica as a teenager, so i thought it was just that
for months, i still worked at an in-person job (with only like...2 other people, thankfully), but i didn't have to walk all that much for it, so i just ignored it. it was ignorable, until i started really feeling it on my walks home. my back hurt so bad that i could barely move my legs and i would just heave and cry until i got home
that place ended up closing, so i got a remote job again, partially bc of covid and partially bc of my back. that was last august.
now, it's gotten so bad that i can't walk or stand for more than a few minutes...when i told my doctors, they both told me i needed to do physical therapy. which i did, several times, but bc i don't drive and i can't walk to the bus stop, i couldn't really keep going
all this is to say that i am coming to terms with my limited mobility. i had a cane from years ago that i got for free, and i took it with me to the drag show (masked of course) we went to a couple weeks ago. no one said anything, i'm sure people were looking, but it was fine. it helped
pride in my city is coming up soon, and in order to last for that long of an outing, i will absolutely have to use my rollator. it's a great rollator, i am so so so lucky i have a family that was willing and able to get me one, i don't want to sound ungrateful or like a 'woe is me' previously able-bodied person. it's just that a lot of things are happening to my body that i wasn't ready for and i'm coming to terms with all of them
we're going to a mini-con tomorrow, and i'm thinking of taking my rollator there, but it's scary to feel like i have to ask other people to make space for me. i don't think about that when i see other people using mobility devices, but idk, it's different bc it's me
it's kinda the same with my autism and bipolar. yes, i've had those all my life, but it wasn't until i was an adult that i became aware of them and it wasn't until like the last two years that i realized just how much they affect my life and how i interact with other people. i have such low tolerance for discomfort that i have trouble even keeping a job
my boyfriend and i rarely leave the apartment...literally like two or three times a month max. for all of the reasons above and of course covid. i struggle all the time with wanting my life to be this way and also feeling kind of pathetic bc...my life is this way. but idk, it's the most tolerable way to live, and i was a homebody long before i became the person i am now. i tried going out and having a big friend group and whatever but i hated it and i don't want to go back, even if i could
ummmm anyway that's my update. i think i might decorate my rollator so i feel more connected to it and want to show it off
ok. thanks luv u
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Had an appointment with a friend of my Dad this evening.. He told me quite a lot of things. Many are hard to swallow. For example he never talked to anyone about my brother, it's like I was his 'only child'. Kabusch who I met today told me he was the one who took care of my Dad. At first two other friends of my Dad helped him too. Dagmar and Pia.. But in his last months he wasn't very thankful or easy to handle.. And Pia got cancer so she needed to focus more on herself. Met a lot of his old companions too this evening. Yvonne, the waitress who worked there when I was a child was there too and we had a conversation. She and Klaus said 'Greetings to your Dad', I was like 'Ohh, that's not that easy'. I talked to Dirk's wife. She remembered me. Frank remembered me too. Yvonne even knew my name after all those years..
Dirk's wife told me, there was a pastor asking questions about my Dad and she told him about me and where I lived back in the days. Nevertheless no notice or what so ever.. So many strange things went on in this story.
I got told three years ago on father's day he went for his last trip to Egypt with Dagmar, payed for by Pia. That's why we missed each other. His neighbors once again kept their mouths shut..
It's all so so sad.
We should have spent days and nights out at Hartmans café / bar, all together. Side by side.
I miss him so much..
He was in pain, he was scared, he was unhappy, he even became kinda bitter and at the same time treated the people who took care of him badly, so eventually they turned away. I'm so sure he did it on purpose. So they wouldn't have to suffer by watching him suffer. He did it, because he was always so strong and had his pride.
Somehow I'm a bit scared he might have taken his own life..
Kabusch was the last person to see him alive. But my Dad threw him out saying 'leave the food outside I'll pick it up I just shitted myself.'
It's hard to know that he was 'alone' I should have been around. I should have helped him. Took care of him. Be there for him. Not just for his sake, but also for mine. I would've loved to spent his last months, weeks, days, hours, his last breath with him. It should have been this way.. Knowing he had people who helped him and cared deeply for him is a comfort, but still it's hard. So so hard.
I wish I could go back in time..
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June 17: Chengxian 💜🖤💕
childhood friends to lovers/QPPs, ace Jiang Cheng, bi & aro Wei Wuxian, modern AU
(A/N: If you're wondering about a certain other someone, he will have a wonderful, full life of his own in Suzhou in this AU but is not in this story. 💙 There are some brief mentions of offscreen ace-antagonism, not by anyone we know.)
Read on ao3
Jiang Cheng had been Wei Ying's best friend in the whole world for his entire life.
Okay. Well, not quite his entire life, but certainly since Wei Ying’s parents moved to California when he was little little, which was about as far back as Wei Ying could remember anyway. Wei Ying’s baba and Jiang Cheng’s baba had grown up in Wuhan together and been best friends when they were kids, so naturally, when Wei Ying’s family moved into the same neighborhood as the Jiangs, it made perfect sense for Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng to become best friends too.
It was Jiang Cheng who had taught Wei Ying that he didn't have to be afraid of dogs, by introducing him to Princess, Jasmine, and Lil' Love. Lil' Love lived up to her name, coming and quietly sitting in all her fluffy glory on Wei Ying’s lap every time he went over to play.
It was also Jiang Cheng who Wei Ying got drunk with for the first time. They snuck booze from the cabinet where Wei Ying’s parents kept it and laughed at the faces each other made with every shot until they stopped tasting the harsh burn, and then laughing more just because.
(Wei Ying’s mom had not laughed, not at the time, when the two teens had been sick as anything the next morning, but instead made them a gloriously greasy late breakfast and gave them lots of advice about proper hydration.
Then she told Jiang Cheng’s mom and let her scold them.)
It was Jiang Cheng who came out first, their first semester in college, when he told Wei Ying he didn't think he wanted to have sex with anyone, ever, and asked if Wei Ying thought that meant no one would ever want to date him. Wei Ying hugged him tight and told him he didn't know about everyone out there, but he knew Jiang Cheng was the best guy in the world and would be an awesome boyfriend, and he'd fight anyone who said differently.
Jiang Cheng found a group on campus for third culture LBGT kids, and Wei Ying went with him, as a supportive ally.
Which was how Wei Ying figured out that he was not just a supportive ally.
In listening to the others talk about orientation and identity and attraction and cultural expectations, Wei Ying realized that what he'd always assumed was normal—finding all kinds of people physically attractive, regardless of their gender—was actually his bisexuality. So that was kind of cool.
"So yeah, now we can be queer together!" Wei Ying said, when he excitedly shared his newfound realization with Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng snorted. "Yeah, 'all' and 'nothing,'" he joked.
It was Jiang Cheng who'd helped him practice what to say to his parents when he wanted to change his major at the end of sophomore year, and Jiang Cheng who reminded him to eat and sleep and "take a fucking break, Wei Ying," those next couple semesters when he took way too many hours so he wouldn't have to rack up a whole extra year's worth of student loans to finish his new degree plan.
It was Jiang Cheng who graduated first, on a gorgeous blue-skyed sunny day in May, and Jiang Cheng who suggested Wei Ying keep living with him at his new apartment, so he wouldn't have to try to find a one-semester lease until he finished in December.
(They renewed the lease together every time.)
Jiang Cheng ribbed him playfully each time Wei Ying met someone new, but he was always there each times things fizzled out after a few months for reasons that never quite made sense to Wei Ying.
Jiang Cheng occasionally dated too, and Wei Ying was glad he never did have to fight anybody—though he did drive Jiang Cheng to the emergency room the time he came home with split knuckles from punching a guy who, "seemed to think I didn't know my own mind about certain things."
But dating sucked for everybody, right? It wasn't like Wei Ying or Jiang Cheng were in any hurry to settle down and do the whole spouse and kids thing or whatever. Wei Ying tried to imagine it and just... couldn't, though the image of Jiang Cheng with a baby was admittedly pretty cute.
~
It was not Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Yanli, a few months after she proposed to her girlfriend and they started planning their wedding, who Wei Ying finally asked, "Yanli-jie, how does a person decide someone else is their person?"
Jiang Yanli looked across the room to where Jiang Cheng was showing her soon-to-be-wife how to put side spin on a billiards ball and smiled. "I think you just know," she said. "You meet someone and you get to know them, spend time together, then one day you realize you love them and want to build the rest of your life with them."
Wei Ying wrinkled his nose. "I dunno if it works that way for me. Just some random person? I've never met anyone I can imagine wanting to live with all the time. Well, besides—huh..." he cut off suddenly and darted a look over at Jiang Yanli, who just calmly sipped her drink.
"Have you ever told him that?" she asked, after a moment where Wei Ying reassessed his entire life and dating history. "I think he might appreciate hearing it."
"I... huh. Yanli-jie, you're kinda blowing my mind here," he complained.
"I gathered," she said wryly, before fixing him with a smile that made all the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Of course, I trust," she told him, "that I do not need to explain to you of all people how very dearly I hold my didi's happiness and well-being."
He swallowed and raised three fingers in the salute he'd used ever since the summer that—hah—he and Jiang Cheng had decided as kids that they would make their own oath of brotherhood like the heroes of their favorite show. "I, Wei Ying, swear to you that I would kick my own ass before I did anything to hurt him."
Jiang Yanli leaned over to knock her shoulder against his and nodded. "That's what I thought."
~
Turned out, dating Jiang Cheng didn't suck at all.
It felt easy in a way Wei Ying’s past dates never had, less like trying to keep up with a game whose rules everybody knew except him, more like... well, like spending time with his best friend in the whole world, but on purpose. There was also a tension in the back of Wei Ying’s mind that seemed to have lifted, though he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was that had gone.
It was Jiang Cheng who helped him figure it out.
"I think it's that now I'm able to count on this. On us," he said, when Wei Ying brought it up. "Before, whenever you went out with someone new, I wondered if this would be the time you'd find someone to fall in love with and leave me behind."
"Aww, Chengcheng! I would never!"
Jiang Cheng huffed and rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were pink. "Well, I know that now," he said, a pleased little smile breaking through his attempts at a scowl.
"As long as you're sure—" Wei Ying began, still getting used to thinking about himself with the word "aromantic." Still a so very sure that Jiang Cheng deserved to be fallen in love with.
"Hey!" Jiang Cheng cut him off. "None of that. I know you. And I know you don't see it this way, but I personally think it's pretty damn romantic that you choose to love me, on purpose."
"I simply have exquisite taste in life partners," Wei Ying sniffed, embarassed the way he always got when Jiang Cheng declared something he'd done "romantic."
"You do," Jiang Cheng agreed. "Someone told me a long time ago I was the best guy in the world and would make an awesome boyfriend, and that he would fight anyone who said differently."
Wei Ying laughed. "That's you and your sister I've promised to kick my own ass if I ever break your heart, then. Guess I'll just have to keep you forever."
"Damn right, you will," Jiang Cheng agreed, grinning smug and happy and breathtakingly beautiful. Wei Ying leaned across the couch to give him a sweet, closed-mouth kiss—the kind Jiang Cheng had shyly admitted he actually did like, a lot—and smiled too, at how lucky he'd gotten to be with his best friend in the whole world for his entire life.
🖤💜
Today's (extremely long!) thread was inspired by this WONDERFUL art of ace Jiang Cheng and bi & aro Wei Ying! Go give Midori some love on Twitter!
I spent a nonzero amount of time googling to double check when various terms and flags came into vogue, so if you're wondering, WWX & JC were in college in the early 2000s, before the ace and aro flags were designed. By the time they get themselves figured out, they can get their cute wristbands.
...which, yes, means these dingdongs spent about a solid decade living together before realizing that was what they wanted to do forever. 😉
This also means Jiang Yanli and her unnamed wife here are getting married between when California started recognizing same-sex marriages in 2008 and the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling in 2015! THIS SHIT'S RECENT!!!
Happy Pride, thank you for reading, check out more LGBTQIA+ sweetness on my #PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost!
#PrideMonthSnippets#chengxian#westie writes#mdzs#the untamed#asexual pride#aromantic pride#asexual jiang cheng#bisexual wei wuxian#aromantic wei wuxian#queerplatonic relationship#queer relationships#love has a lot of shapes
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eyes off you ( hermione granger )
this is for kelly’s 3k writing challenge!! @anchoeritic ily kells<3
pairing: hermione granger x slytherin!reader ( half blood prince )
gender neutral! reader ( if there is a mistake or i accidentally used she/her pronouns let me know and ill fix it! )
warnings: small mentions of abuse at home, other than that just fluff and awkwardness.
notes: inspired by the song ‘eyes off you’ by prettymuch, the lyrics are bolded and italicized. y/n is the biggest simp. please ignore my grammar mistakes and my horrendous sentence structure. this also gives off major jily vibes, so do what you will with that information. I kinda went off with this I'm so sorry if it starts to get boring. images are from pinterest.
word count - 1.9k
hermione granger was a stubborn girl, that was one thing you knew for sure. when the two of you first met she had been adamant on hating your guts, excessive flirting and all. it was your persistence is what really got through to her; like starting to hang out in the library because you knew she would be there, and helping her pick up her books when some asshole seventh year—adorning the same infamous emerald green you did—tripped her up in the hall ( although not before threatening the bugger in her honour first ).
at the end of the day, the little acts of service were the things that made hermione swallow her pride and finally go on a damn date with you. at first, harry and ron were in utter shock that the girl was even considering going on a date with “the enemy” as they oh-so-subtly put it. but she just told them they were being overly dramatic, and that their input into who she decides to date was simply inadequate. so was it ever the surprise that one day when you finally worked up the courage to ask her, she actually said yes.
“are you serious?” you had expressed your complete disbelief of the words you just heard come out of the curly haired girls mouth.
“yes y/n, i am dead serious.” she had echoed back to you, looking thoroughly amused.
you were astonished, the girl that you quite frankly couldn’t take your eyes off of since fifth year actually agreed to go out with you. the gryffindor girl specifically that you had set your sights on, ignoring the warnings from your friends and backlash from your family, it had all paid off. becoming more defiant with your family last summer was no easy deed, but you knew the yelling and even the hitting was better than whatever they were scheming up for you this summer. lord voldemort was getting even closer to making sure he had a solid, fucked up, but loyal fanbase and you knew you would soon be a part of it if you didn’t get your shit together. you pretty much had a foolproof plan to get the hell out of your psycho household, you just needed to wait for the right moment to act on it.
amidst all of this, you knew it was dangerous to get involved with a muggle born, and you knew you were being selfish by risking yours and hermione’s lives. but there was something about her. the way she would make you feel when your insistent nagging got her lips to turn up just a little bit, or when you did something particularly embarrassing and finally got a boisterous laugh to erupt from her mouth in the middle of potions ( snape was not happy with the two of you ).
so you knew it was dangerous, you really did. but as soon as you saw hermione in the corridor right outside of the slytherin common rooms, waiting for you like you had anxiously asked her to after dinner yesterday, you knew you were down bad. you knew you were down bad because as soon as you saw her face drop when draco malfoy approached her, your heart lurched and you basically sprinted to where she was standing. she was in the middle of telling malfoy to shut up when you slid up beside her and threw an arm around her shoulder ( because protective instincts.... duh! ), somehow managing to simultaneously tell him to “sod off” and flip him the bird while hermione sunk into your side like there's no place she’d rather be.
as the two of you ran off, you couldn't help but mutter into her ear “mione, i'm not sure.....but i think his father will be hearing about this.”
you had a feeling that the laugh she let out was one you’d be hearing in your dreams for a while.
“so, where would you like to take me y/n.” she spoke, the air of the previous laughter still heard in her voice.
“tell me anything you wanna do.”
she hummed “i don't know. how about the three broomsticks?”
while you were mulling it over, she slipped her hand in yours. your head immediately turned to meet her eyes.
there's no touch or feeling
pleasure or pain
anything like the way you're runnin' through my veins
the sudden affection had you choked up, and you had to clear your throat before continuing “um, that sounds great.”
as soon as the consent left your lips she was dragging you up the road and into the warmth of the pub, where madame rosmerta greeted the two of you at the front door. hands still intertwined, you ordered two butterbeer before wandering off into a booth. it was cozy, and you found yourself ravishing in the feeling of it all; going on hogsmeade dates, holding hands, and curling up in a booth with your drinks. it wasn’t long before you and hermione were mindlessly chatting about anything and everything, falling so deeply into conversation. only breaking out when you make her laugh, or when you go speechless at the broad smile that completely lights up her face, something that you noticed was specifically reserved for silly stories about harry and ron or her parents. you hoped that someday she would be able to talk about you with that marvellous smile on her face.
“you’re staring.” she looked adorably embarrassed at the sentiment, heat rising to her cheeks.
“I just can't take my eyes off of you.” it was a bold ( albeit true ) statement, and hermione swore to merlin you looked like you never meant any other utterance more.
“that's very generous of you, but i'm afraid i'm not that attractive.”
you looked at her in complete disbelief, “okay, okay, i’m going to wholeheartedly disregard what you just said,” taking a pause for dramatic effect “because you are the single most beautiful girl i've ever laid my eyes on, hermione granger.”
if the girl wasn’t blushing before, she was now. the way she was scrunching up her nose was the cutest, and you found her obvious inability to take a compliment quite charming. it actually boosted your own confidence, and you found yourself wanting to shower her with praises for the rest of your life just to see her reaction over and over again.
“what?” you teased, a sly smile making its way onto your face, “don't tell me potter and co deprive you of the flattery you deserve.”
the way she tilted her head and had her eyes narrowed ever so slightly told you everything you needed to know, she watched as your eyes widened in shock but shook it off because of the awkward air that was suddenly formed over the topic.
you were quite literally panicking, what if you just ruined everything? curse your slytherin ambition, you must’ve gone too far with your allusive comments. hermione hadn’t talked for about five minutes now, opting to finish her butterbeer, and the energy full of endless conversation dissipated long ago. your mug was still half full, sitting in front of you. you were just sitting there, staring at it, frantically searching your brain for something to talk about but you were fucking blanking. you were failing at pretty much the only thing you pride yourself on, and it happened to be the thing that got hermione to even go out with you in the first place.
once hermione was finished nursing her drink, you decided to speak now before she decided to make up an excuse to leave. “I'm sorry if I went too far, I do that sometimes and I made you uncomfortable, and i'm so sorry.”
then, she did the one thing you would have never even fathomed. she laughed. the girl was chortling, her head thrown back and when she finally came down from her fit she had tears running down her face.
“I'm sorry,” she said, noticing your eyebrows furrowed in concern “i've just never had someone apologize for complimenting me.”
you let out an anxious chuckle, “well you did kind of stop talking there, i figured i hit a nerve.”
“oh no! i just used to, um, fancy ron and he hasn't complimented me nearly as much in 6 years then you’ve had in an hour.” she stumbled over her words a bit as she spoke, evidently uncomfortable discussing her previous crush on weasley.
“well,” you dragged on, “i think you deserve all the flattery in the world.”
you swore to salazar slytherin himself her smile lit up the whole room, and your heart swelled when she reached over the table to grab both of your hands and link them with hers.
“how about we go for a walk, the black lake maybe?” the suggestion brought your attention to how dark it had gotten outside, you estimated that you had about an hour till the sun set. you smirked.
“I see you’re trying to snag a sunset kiss by the black lake, granger.”
your smirk turned into a full on smile as she got flustered once again, biting her lower lip.
“it's absolutely barbaric that you would allude to that, l/n.” the sarcasm was clear in her tone as you both erupted in a fit of giggles.
leaving the three broomsticks hand in hand once again, the two of you made your way down to the lake. you take off the sweater you were wearing to spread it across the grass for you and hermione to settle yourselves on. it wasn't very big, but neither of you seemed to mind as you snuggled into each other against the nights breeze. your arm making its way around her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around your waist and rested her head on your shoulder.
you two watched the sunset in silence. it wasn’t awkward like a few minutes ago, there wasn’t a need to fill it with dialogue, it was completely comfortable. hermione adjusted under your arm and turned her head to look at you, the sudden change in direction making a few curls get caught in her glossed lips. before she could even lift her arm, you were already there, brushing her hair behind her ear. your hand found its home behind her neck as you angled your head to brush your nose against hers, her lip unconsciously making its way in between her teeth again.
you took a sharp breath and spoke, “every little thing you do drives me wild.”
“are you gonna give me that kiss, or keep talk-”
you could feel her words melt away against your lips as you took action and pushed her head towards yours. her hands tightening around your waist and her soft sighs as your lips connect act as reminders that she wants this as much as you, and you are so damn thankful that she leans back in after you separate to take a breath.
and the sun sets with the two of you, hanging onto each other like you were each others lifelines, previous thoughts about your family or the stupid slytherin/gryffindor feud are long gone by now.
you decide that you can deal with all of your problems in the near future, because now you have hermione safe in your arms, and that's more than enough motivation for you to stay right where you are.
#kelly's 3k wc !#harry potter#hermione granger x reader#gender neutral reader#hogwarts#hogsmeade#this is my first like writing post so please be nice to me#I'm sorry if this is shit#i tried#plz give me constructive criticism#i need it
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Teardrops on fire
Synopsis:
Steve Rogers is the last Alpha of the an almost extinct Lycan pack. With only less than 100 members left. Steve must produce an heir to ensure the species survival and reduce the chance of attacks from others. Omegas are rare, and betas have a hard time producing children. Steves reality is finally setting in as his obligation of producing an heir faces a major set back.
Reader is the last suitable omega to mate with Steve, due to the fear of her daughters fate in the pack, her mother kept her hidden from the pack after her own exile. Only her mother, and Bucky's family know of her existence. Bucky is Steve's right hand man, and the packs best warrior! He and the reader developed a friendship and bond over the years, but age forced them to become distant.
What happens when she presents and her first heat cycle comes? Her body is in excruciating pain and a strong fever quickly overcomes her body. Facing the fear of her daughters possible death, her mom calls on the only person who can save her at this point, Alpha Steve! Bucky and the alphas friendship will be tested. The reader will be faced with her love for Bucky or her duty to the pack.
Warnings: Mentions of death , A/B/O dynamics
Chapter 3: Leave a light on
Bucky and Steve packed a suitcase of supplies, they both knew it was a race against time at this point. Her body would become weak without the pheromones of an alpha, her changing hormones wouldn't be able to adapt for her body's transition into her designation. Her own body would become her worst enemy right now, and if they didn't make it in time she could die in a pool of her own slick and sweat as her body struggled to accommodate the change.
That was one of the reasons omegas became so rare! Over the course of thousands of years their bodies began to change.Even with an alpha, sometimes the transition was too much on their bodies! Not many would make it. The omega’s that did were meant to be the strongest women the packs had to offer, their wombs strong , healthy, and ready to accommodate an alpha.
There was an old wives tale that would travel around the packs about a perfect mate, a bond so strong that would turn two souls and bodies into one. Soul that have been meant to be together since the beginning of time, like a puzzle piece waiting for it’s perfect match .Always calling for each other! One way or another prevailing.
People stopped believing in those kinds of stories a long time ago!
“Steve,Is that everything?” Bucky was loading up the bags into the truck.
His mother and Katerina had headed back to the cabin, hoping to get a head start and try to explain to her what would be going on.
I believe so! We still don't know what we're walking into… Steve furrowed his brow with his hand. His free hand on his lower back. “Hell Buck! I don't even know what i'm supposed to do! Hey I'm Steve, you don't know me but i'm here to take you away from everything you've ever known… also I kinda have to mate with you to save your life.``
“I know it doesn't sound like the best plan! But it's all we can do right now.” Bucky wanted to reassure his friend, tell him it was all going to be alright. Deep down he himself was feeling uneasy. He wanted to crawl out of his skin. Why did their nature have to be like this? He felt like they were not that evolved from animals when it came to heats. She was probably scared, he wanted to reassure his friend that she would be okay with him.
Bucky remembered leaving her all those years ago. It broke his heart! Deep down Bucky didn't even want to see her. He couldn't live with the look of disappointment she'd give him.
Or worse what if she wasn't disappointed, what if it was like the years didn't go by between them. How could he handle seeing her gentle eyes, knowing he couldn't return the same look back.
It wasn't even a question anymore! Any dream involving her he's had for the past ten years had to be thrown away! He had to forget her smile, her laugh, her smell! She was never meant to be his and now more than ever he had to put his pack first.
Bucky gave Steve a reassuring smile and motioned to the truck, they were losing daylight and they both had a long night ahead of them. Both lost within their own thoughts!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She felt like she was being torn apart!
Yes, she's had some bad cramps during her cycle, but this pain was different! If felt like she was being completely ripped apart from the inside. She felt weak and both terribly hot and freezing at the same time.
She had this strong feeling to just stay in bed at the back of her mind, but she just couldn't let herself waste away in bed waiting for her mother.
Her mom had called winifred after this morning, within the hour they were both gone! They said they'd be back my sundown with some supplies and someone who might help her.
As the pain intensified she readied herself to go get some things that could help alleviate her. She remembered her mom taught her this recipe with mint, nuts, and berries, back when she had first gotten her period; many years ago. Sometimes when she was out fishing or hunting and she felt her body start to feel strange, she'd look for those, and boil some water for a tea. It provided instant relief for her, and she'd go back to her day like nothing happened.
Gathering the strength and courage; she walked out of the comfort of her cabin for a quick trip to get those three things. If only she could just have that tea ready, it would make the time waiting for her mom to get back bearable.She knew the woods like the back of her hand, she'd done it countless times where she knew where everything would be.
As she trekked further and further into the woods! She remembered she'd spotted a new mint bush a few days ago, with the old one in the opposite direction she decided to just to just go with her memory and find that one.
Even though she knew these woods by heart, her pounding head and aching body made it a struggle for her focus long enough to orient herself.
She stopped to catch her breath and suddenly felt aware of the heat taking over her body. In the distance, the sounds of the running current of the creek, screamed for her to just get in to find some relief. All she wanted was just to dip her feet in and feel the water run beneath her feet.
The icy water prickled through her skin and it showed her more than the heat did, eventually her body and mind relaxed and she just closed her eyes for what felt like two seconds.
Suddenly the floor beneath was overtaken by a current, she was too weak to swim or fight .So she just let the current run its course; dragging along her weakened body.
In just an instant! She was harshly dragged away from the little bit of forest she knew!
She woke up hours later in the darkness!
The current had dumped her near the bank.
She could tell it was still territory, but it was all unknown and new to her. She definitely did not have the strength to follow the stream, so with what little strength she had, she started a fire! She laid down next to it hoping that morning would come soon, and give her the strength she needed to return home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they exited the car they could smell her, but it was lingering and faded. Bucky’s senses were on fire! That smell drove him insane. It awoke every muscle in his being, he’s partially glad that it wasn’t fully her, just the lingering trace of her scent.
He couldn’t do that to Steve. He had to mask his face, pretend she didn’t smell like air after you’ve been holding your breath for ten years.
“Where is she ?” Steve was worried, not only was this his omega, but she was a part of his pack now. His Alpha nature led him to worry about her, even if he didn't fully know her or understood her yet.
All Steve knew is that he felt drawn to her! He needed to protect her and care for her! Seeing the small cabin was like a punch to his gut! He couldn't believe that there were people in his pack living like this.
The roof needed work, the inside was just enough to be considered cozy, but not comfortable!. It was all patched together! He understood that it was the best that they could do with the circumstances, but his heart was swelling with pride at the idea of bringing his omega to his home. For her to finally know comfort, and not want for anything, he'd take better care of her than his own self. Her smell told him everything he needed to know about her, it was like she was made for him, and he was made for her,
Steve looked to Katerina and back to Bucky.
He couldn't understand how this place had been here for such a long time without him knowing about it, Steve remembered his dad's cruel nature. It wasn't beneath him to cast out a pregnant woman to fend for herself, but why hasn't she tried coming back once his father had died. Steve would have let them back! He knew why she was scared and distrustful of him. He probably reminded her of the person who took her life from her.
As the sky grew darker it became impeccably evident that something had gone terribly wrong. Bucky knew it! He had a bad feeling sinking at the pit of his stomach. No experienced hunter, like herself would be out past sundown. The woods become too dangerous and unforgiving even to experienced people.
Bucky taught her to know the woods. She could track.! If she’s out there she’s probably injured and in a bad situation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“ Clint, Nat, you guys will take the northern side of the river, there's a lot of territory there so I trust you guys will be okay as a team!,” Steve was guiding them to a spot marked on the map, he drew a circle through the section with with finger the over caressing his chin in thought.
“Tony, you will cover the west end on the river… over by this side” Bucky said over Steves planning and was pointing Tony to his designated research area.
Bucky and Steve had gone into a full missing persons mission. They had mapped out the territory and had called the strongest members of the pack. Most of them were a part of the packs defense team. They were all loyal to Steve and led by Bucky as the commander of the pack's small army.
Bucky’ s mind was not at the best place! He was slowly becoming more feral with desperation. “What if an outsider smelled her and crossed territories?” The thought was just too dangerous to entertain and Bucky kept going!
After hours of searching, the search party grew cold, hungry, and tired! Steve was called off the search party as the weather grew harsher, he was worried about his pack. They had families to tend to, and needed rest.
Steve was going in by himself, and Bucky wasn’t about to let his best friend do it alone. Going in just by themselves would be a risk, but they both knew how strong they had to be! They could rest later! She was all that mattered right now!
He wouldn’t stop searching till he had turned every rock on the territory! Every little corner if this damn reserve would be searched! He would find his ... Steve’s mega.
Bucky was the best tracker in his pack and even neighboring packs. If anyone needed anybody or anything found, Bucky was the best in the business. He was strong, determined, and could be ruthless with deserters who would try to run away from the pack after stealing or injuring a member!. Nobody had made it past the territory without Bucky catching them first.
They called him the Winter Soldier! While others found the harsh temperatures, and unforgiving terrain hard to navigate and specially survive; Bucky seemed to read the wind and knew how to use the weather to his advantage. He was the best there was.
If he could not find her he might as well never find anybody else in his entire life. He count fail her. He needed her!...She needed him!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her whole body ached!
She couldn’t get up from this one. She knew she’d only survive a few hours, maybe a day or two without food, and in this weather. She just placed herself inside a hollow trunk, and cradled her body to preserve as much heat as possible. She was thankful that the fever was a bit of a heat source, but cursed at the cold chills it gave her. Soon her body relaxed and she wondered what death would feel like.
She thought of her life.
Her mom.
It hurt so much when she thought of him! As she thought of him, her heart was agonizing in longing, but her body was slowly responding. Her fever had subsided, and she tried stepping out of the trunk. She stumbled and lost her footing, but just as she was about to collapse near the now extinguished fire, she felt a pair of strong arms break her fall.
She thought she was probably dead now!
Looking at her, where the most piercing blue eyes she’d ever seen! His hair now at his shoulders, and a beard forming around his face. He looked different than her mind had imagined him all these years. She allowed herself to relax in his arms, and her eyes filled with tears as she passed out; surrounded by his smell , and waiting for this delusion to be over.
They said death had a way of making people feel comfort, and happiness before the light at the end. But this seemed so real! she wasn't scared of dying anymore, she was scared he wouldn't be there if she woke up again.
Tags: @austynparksandpizza @connie326 @nerdgirljen @exposition-belongs-somewhere
#alpha bucky x omega reader#alpha steve x omega reader#alpha steve rogers#alpha bucky#alpha beta omega#omega reader#a/b/o#steve rogers#james bucky barnes#omegaverse
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--would you be so kind [tsukishima kei]
genre: fluff/slight angst
pairing: tsukishima kei x reader
song: would you be so kind by dodie
synopsis: you’ve fallen for quite a boy and what’s the best way to confess to someone if not during the school festival?
wc: 2.37k
a/n: truth be told, i was inspired to write this when i was listening to dodie, and i tried to somehow tie the lyrics in with the story, but i kinda lost my flow in between, but the story still works!
"This might seem strange..." You should've known better than to reach out to Yamaguchi and Yachi the moment those words left his lips. You should've cut him off, stopped him before he could finish the thought and left, but you didn't. You had sat there with your attention wrapped around Yamaguchi's finger as he conceptualized your perfect confession.
I should've gone to someone else, you thought. But you didn't have many friends and the ones you did have had no experience with love. You were lucky enough to have been friends with the ultimate Karasuno High duo canonically known to the student body as: YamaYachi.
Though, you weren't entirely sure if you could even deem yourself lucky.
They were quite meddlesome since you've come to know them and let them into your life. Though for someone as quiet and kept together as you, their presence helped spice up it every now and then. Like when they volunteered you to be the new volleyball manager without your consent, or when they had found out your heart had unwillingly fallen for Karasuno's notorious jackass, Tsukishima Kei, and butt in.
They would crack a wedge in every small opening they found to get you two together and chucked you right through it. During practice, when it came to water breaks, they'd make sure Tsukki wouldn't be able to get his water bottle, forcing him to go to you to ask for it. Whenever they heard Tsukki wanted to stay behind to practice, without your consent, they'd volunteer you. When it came to walking home, oh, they'd make sure you were always by his side while they followed behind.
Though it had been extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing, a friendship did blossom. Eventually, Yachi and Yamaguchi no longer needed to manipulate the forces of nature, and Tsukki would just come looking for you on his own.
So here you were, determination shaking in your bones as you strode down the crowded corridor of your high school, going against the current as you ignored your friends' attempts to catch your attention. You took deep breaths to calm the persistent thumping of your heart and to the ease the miniatured yous dashing around in circles in your mind.
If it had been up to you, your confession would've been as toned down and discreet as you: sticking a note in Tsukki's locker and making a run for it. But your high school life had fallen into the hands of two people who shared the same brain cell, so of course, go big or go home.
At least that's what Yamaguchi had said.
He made it a point that it was their final year while you were still struggling in your second year. "If you're gonna tell someone you like them, you might as well do it facing them head on, right?"
As much as you hated it, he was right. But you shook the pompous image of Yamaguchi as you drew near your meeting place. You met Yachi at the corner away from everyone else. Her face softened when she saw the nervousness in your eyes and greets you with a hug."How are you lungs?"
"They're a bit in pain." You answered honestly, breaths shaky. "This so dumb, I don't think I can do this."
"If I could swap chests with you today, I would." She joked as an attempt to ease you; it was her silly way of saying, "I'd trade the storm in your heart for the stillness in mine," and though her odd one-liners would help, it wasn't working. "You don't have to do the funny stuff Yams said—just go up to him and tell him. That's all you really need to do...They boys are just over there by the ramen booth,"
You leaned to the side to catch a good look at Tsukki, but what you find tightly gripped your heart and squeezed out the little confidence you had been mustering the entire day.
Another girl—a pretty girl—who was glued to him by the hip, laughing and twirling her hair. But what shocked you the most was the way Tsukki looked at her intently as she spoke, like he was making it a point to actually listen to whatever was coming out of her mouth.
Yachi caught the pain etched in your face and turned to see what the problem was, "Oh shit."
You didn't exactly know what came over you, but before you brain could match the tempo of the rest of your body, you called out his name and marched towards him. "Tsukishima Kei!"
Eyes dilated and looking down at you, he blinked at the sudden sight of you. His lips twitched in a smile as if he was happy to see you, but before he could address you or even say hello, you cut him off, unintentionally yelling, "I like you! I-I know you know that I like you, b-but that's not enough...So, i-if you would—Please go out with me! "
Time was such a fickle thing; because though it had only been a mere couple of seconds, it felt like you were stuck in a forever as the silence lingered between you, Tsukki, and everyone else that was within range to hear not only your confession, but your unexpectedly bold decision to ask him out as well.
Holy fucking shit, you thought. Though the silence was a loud and clear response, the rapid thumping of your heart was louder; and you couldn't stand the thought of staying there any longer. So before Tsukki would even manage to part his lips, you bolted out of there.
You ran to the pool side, far from where everyone else had gathered, where you were supposed to watch the fireworks with Tsukki if things had fallen into place like it was supposed to. You plopped yourself onto bleachers and sunk your head into your hands as you wept. You felt in incredibly silly.
"There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere," Yamaguchi had said this when you asked if it was a smart move for you to confessing to someone when you weren't even sure if there was even the smallest possibility the feelings were mutual. You should've taken it as a sign that you shouldn't have done.
But you did.
Oh, god, you did.
The image of Tsukki looking at you dumbfounded by your confession bled through and all you could do was sob harder into your hands. You remember the teams' faces, how shocked they were to have heard you say more than three words in one breath.
Oh, shit, the team. You were gonna have to quit being manager because there as no way in hell you could bounce back from the depths of your embarrassment and pretend as if you hadn't done that, especially in front of that pretty girl.
You wanted to hate Yamaguchi and Yachi, to place the blame on them, but they never said to screech out a confession let alone ask him out. So, this was undoubtedly on you. In the end, you were the idiot and you probably just lost a really decent friendship with someone you didn't even believe could be a good friend to begin with.
Regardless of Tsukki's reputation, he was quite kind, considerate, and attentive; if you were struggling with math or life in general he was willing to listen if he couldn't physically step in to help. Thinking about it, he always seemed to match his pacing with yours. If you were in a good mood, he'd banter with you, but if you weren't he'd tread lightly and do something to lift your spirits.
During lunch, he'd buy food in pairs; one for him and one for you because he when he asked why you didn't bring food every day, you told him you didn't have time to do it in the morning and you were too tired to bother when you came home. He'd lend you his jacket if you felt cold. He'd always wait for you after club if you had to pack up equipment or do extra tasks.
All these small gestures made your heart stand on its toes, but maybe you were bold to assume he saw your more than a friend.
Maybe you were bold to assume anything.
"I wanna die!" You groaned as you finally lifted your head from your hands, your eyes meeting the sky. The sun had fallen into the horizon and it was beginning to grow dark.
"Well, if you drop dead now, I won't be able to give you an answer." You jumped at the disembodied voice, gasping. You whipped your head to find Tsukki stepping out of the tall shadow of the pool shed. A sly smirk played across his lips with this hands hidden behind his back as he waltzed towards you.
You frowned at him, not really looking at him, but rather the buttons on his shirt. Too tired to run, you accepted your fate and swallowed the little pride you surprisingly had left and decided to face the rejection head on.
"H-How'd you find me?" Your voice was strained from the crying, so you cleared your throat and tried to relax. But when Tsukki took up the space beside you, you couldn't help but flinch back into stiffness.
"Yamaguchi said you might be here..."You scoffed as you brought your knees up to your chest, still avoiding looking at him. You looked ahead at the backdrop of the night, your ears trained on the subtle chirping of the crickets nearby. This would've been an ideal date moment, thought. The embarrassment once again creeped in and you shiver at what you had done moments ago.
Why was he here? Shouldn't he be with that girl? If he was here to reject you, he should hurry up rather than spend another moment wasting it on silence.
"Hey—"
"If you're going to reject me, please do so now." You deadpanned, cutting him off. There was a tingling, numbing feeling that began to build in the tips of your fingers, and would later spread throughout your whole body. "I'd rather you be straight to the point and reject me now. I'd rather you be cold and straight to the point rather than sit here and pick at your words, so please just hurry and reject me."
Tsukki scoffed at you, pushing the frame of his glasses further onto the bridge of his nose. "Well, damn," He seethed. The way he said your name made your heart float, but your stomach drop. "What the hell do you want?"
"Excuse me?"
"You asked me to go out with you, now you want me to reject you? Tell me, which is it?" You looked at him, finally meeting his gaze. He looked annoyed—no, he looked angry and you couldn't tell why.
"I—"
"Because I came here with an answer and a bag full of that spicy ramen you liked so much," He leaned in, lessening the gap between the two of you. Though you should've been wary at the close proximity, you couldn't help but have your thoughts wander over to the spicy ramen. Did he really bring me spicy ra—" You're so annoying! I listened when you told me what you had to say, so shut up and listen to me."
"Tsukki I—"
"Yes." He said, firmly. He swung his leg over to the other side of the bench so that he'd be completely facing you. Your cheeks began to burn and you swallowed thickly at the action. "Yes, I will go out with you. I want to go out with you. Damn it, I was supposed to ask you myself, but you had to go ahead of me. I didn't even know you had that in you."
"...I didn't..." You muttered.
"Then why'd you go and do it?"
"I—" You were at a loss for words; partly because Tsukki had just said yes, but also because of his bluntness and the aggression laced in the words that so easily left his lips. "I wanted you to know before you graduated...and it would've been a waste if I stuck a note in your locker instead of facing you head on..."
"So you decided to yell it at me?"
"I panicked!" You retorted.
"Why?"
"Well," You caught your bottom lip between your teeth before you could let yourself finish. You remembered the pretty girl, how close she leaned onto Tsukki, and the bitter taste that followed. "I—Cause...That..That girl you were with...I kinda just...I snapped, okay?"
"The girl?...Oh." It was as if you heard a clicking sound the moment Tsukki had realized what you meant. "That's my cousin... She'll be an incoming first year next year, so I wanted to show her around."
Oh, my god, shoot me in between the eyes.
You buried your face back into your hands as Tsukki began to laugh. You wanted to die right then and there, you prayed to the deity's to grace you with some sort of blessing and hit you with a rock—maybe even get set on fire by a firework. Anything.
"Wooow, I can't believe I like you." Tsukki sighed as he leaned back with his arms stretched behind him for support. You peaked at him through the spaces between your fingers, watched as he smirked to himself.
"W-Wait you really like me?"
"Duh!" He spat, rolling his eyes. "Did you think I said yes to you as a joke? I would've said yes to you in front of everyone back there if you hadn't taken off like that." You sat there as you pressed your legs closer to your chest, resting your chin on your knees completely dumbfounded. You had many questions, but not enough time to take up in the night to ask it all.
You sat up straight before completely twisting yourself to face him. He furrowed his brows at you, watching you shift in your seat as you tried to regain the confidence you had lost. You cleared you throat and met his eyes, leaning in. "Then, would you be so kind to fall in love with me?"
A playful smirk tugged the corner of Tsukki's lips, "I already have."
#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima x reader#tsukki imagines#tsukishima kei#tsukki x fluff#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!!#hq!!#haikyuu#tsukki#tsukki x reader#tsukki fluff#mine#tsukishima imagines
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Remembering The Roadhouse Part 4
Hey guys sorry this one took so long, but since I saw it as an important chapter I wanted to give it the time it deserved.
Also a disclaimer, I have tried posting this story part once, so if it comes up twice, that's my bad. I appear to be having technical difficulties.
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The sound of the alarm going off made Dewey hurt all over, but there was no time left to rest. He had to get to the school. He stood, and his head throbbed, his stomach hurt with a mix of hunger and nausea. Every part of him ached, and he was absolutely exhausted.
His weekend had only gotten worse. He'd gotten sick after getting off the phone with Rosalie the night before last. Still, he continued to work on the song he was writing for her until he finally finished it well into the next day. Ned had found him in a pile of wadded up paper balls with very dark circles under his eyes and, became even more concerned when it seemed he had no appetite.
"Try to get some rest.“ Ned told him.
He did try, but the doubt swimming around his head, and the pain everywhere else kept him from falling asleep. It wasn't until a few hours ago that he finally managed nap a little. Since music coaching wasn't until after the kids' daily classes, Dewey had a little more time to rest. Still what little sleep he got wasn't enough to make up for the last two restless nights.
Dewey wanted to turn around and crawl back under his warm comforter so badly, but he knew that if he wanted the kids to learn the song he'd written for Rosalie, he was going to have to have them practice it now. They only had three days. He fought the sleepiness and achiness, and got dressed. Since he was still so nauseated, he decided not to eat anything. He dragged himself to the school.
After nearly falling asleep at the wheel several times, he arrived at the school and went straight to work setting everything up as he usually did. Once finished, he walked over to the desk and leaned against it waiting for his students to arrive.
"Mr. Finn, I wanted to talk to you about the Battle-“ Summer paused as soon as she looked up at him. "Mr. Finn are you feeling okay?"
Dewey didn't answer. Mostly because he didn't realize she was there. He was leaning so far onto the desk, he was practically laying on it. Though his eyes were open, he was staring past her, unaware that she had even spoken. That was until she snapped her fingers in front of him making him jump.
"Oh! Summer! How long have you been standing there?" He asked.
"Mr. Finn are you feeling alright?"
"Yeah! Perfectly fine!“
"Are you sure? You look pale, and tired. And you have dark circles under your eyes. Should we cancel practice?"
"No way! I'll be fine, we just gotta get this thing going. Is everybody ready?“
Summer continued to look at him unconvinced. "Yes."
Dewey looked around at all his students, seeing that they had their instruments out, and were ready to start practice.
"H-Hey Guys." That sounded weaker than he wanted. He cleared his throat. "Sorry... Hey Guys!“ He said much more confidently. “Friday night is the big night! The night we get on that stage, and once again show em' what we're made of!"
The band cheered all around him, causing his energy to suddenly spike. That is until he looked at the papers in his hand.
"But today, I wanted to start off with something a little different. Now, our focus is still on Battle of the Bands, but I... kinda... wrote a little something special... for Ros -uh- Mrs. Mullins." He scratched the back of his neck hearing a few of the girls squeal at his announcement.
"I was kinda hoping we could play it for her... on a little date I had planned Thursday."
"Thursday!?" Summer exclaimed.
"I know it's the night before the battle, but it's an anniversary... sort of." Dewey explained.
"An anniversary of what?" Summer asked.
"Um..."
"Oh my God! Did you hook up with her? Is that how we got permission last year?"
"NO! no no no no no... It wasn't anything like that. We bonded I guess, but it was over music! Not anything... like the other..." He trailed off into awkwardness.
"Alright well, show us the song!" Zack requested breaking the uncomfortable silence.
"Right!" Dewey answered. He looked at the papers, and studied the lyrics growing anxious again.
"Mr. Finn, is everything alright?" Tamika asked.
After looking at the papers a moment more, Dewey sighed with a mix of frustration, dissapointment, and exhaustion.
"Nevermind guys... This song is garbage." He goes to tear the papers.
"MR. FINN! NO!" Tamika screamed. Dewey was so caught off guard, he could do nothing when Freddie snatched them out of his hands, and passed them to Summer.
She walked as she read them, and the paused.
"Mr. Finn, this is incredibly sweet. You can't tear this up." She said. The other students gathered around to look at it.
"Well that line's pretty cheesy." Feddie snickered looking at the lyrics. Katie bowed him in the side, and Dewey gave a little sideways smile as if to thank her.
"What do you think, guys? Should we do this?" Summer asked.
A chorus of "yeah" and "yes" erupted from the kids around her. Summer turned to Dewey.
"You've got your entertainment, Mr. Finn. Now, where will you be taking her?“
Dewey's eyes widened. “Um.... where?"
"You don't have a place in mind, do you?“ Summer asked seeming more unsurprised than he'd like her to have been.
"Well... no, I haven't really gotten to that point yet..." Dewey answered.
"What are you going to wear?“ Billy asked.
"Um....“
"Please tell me you've got other clothes than what you've been wearing the past year in your closet."
"Well...“
Billy rolled his eyes. "Oh no. There's no way you're wearing any of those tacky excuses for outfits Thursday night. I'll work on something for you.“
The thought of wearing one of Billy's "creative" outfits in front of Rosalie was a nightmare.
"Thanks Billy, but you really dont have-“
"Mr. Finn, are you going to propose?“ Shanell asked, distracting him from Billy. He was completely caught off guard.
"Well... I mean, we've only been dating a few months." Dewey stammered
"No way! Dewey probably can't afford the ring." Freddie cut in.
"I have the ring!“ Dewey blurted out a bit frustratedly. He realized quickly that that was a big mistake. Every eye was on him now, and there a warmth spread vigorously across his cheeks. He just stood there frozen, looking at them all.
"Are you going to propose then?“ Shenell inquired almost squealing.
"I-I didn't say that... Guys, we've only been going out a few months, and I don't even know that this relationship is going to last... I mean I'd like to believe she would want to... marry me...." He looked down at his hands as his fingers fidgeted. "But I just don't know that it's realistic right now..." He looked back up at them. "Regardless I want Thursday night to be special... very special... for her."
"Then we've got your back Mr. Finn." Summer announced with a smile.
Dewey's gaze cut to her in surprise.
"We'll handle the location, the food, and of course the music. You two just have a good time."
"What?“ Dewey stammered.
"Yeah!" Katie cut in. "If we can put together performances, we can definitely handle a date!"
"Guys, I'm only asking for you to perform." Dewey was getting a little overwhelmed now.
"Kind of hard to perform with no location." Summer pointed out with her arms crossed.
Dewey tried to say something, but realized he couldn't argue. She had a point.
"Y-you guys really want to do this?“ He asked.
"Of course we do, Mr. Finn." Tamika replied with a smile. The other students nodded and voiced their agreement.
Dewey felt a happiness and pride in the kids that they had given him mqny times before. It once again made him happy they were his. His excitement was renewed and his energy rising.
"Alright! Let's start with the song!" Dewey passed around the sheet music.
A few minutes later those familiar chords sounded throughout the room, and Dewey became more enthusiastic as he sang the lyrics. His opinion about song had completely changed it was perfect and perfectly Rosalie.
When they finished they moved onto their song for Battle of the Bands. Dewey had completely forgotten about his previous exhaustion. He laughed, and danced around playing his guitar even doing a short impromptu duel with Zack. Everyone was working hard, but having fun with it, and in Dewey's mind, they couldn't be playing more perfectly.
Six O'clock came way too soon. The students packed up their things, and began to leave. Dewey waved goodbye to them. Now that practice had ended though, he started feeling rough again. The exhaustion was setting in fast as he watched his students leave. There were only two left, along with their parents, in the room when he turned to grab his bag. Everything started to go dark. He panted and bent over.
"Mr. Finn?“ He heard Summer call his name, but it sounded far away now. He fell to the ground, and a sharp pain shot up his shoulder. The last thing he saw was Summer running toward him, and looking very concerned just before everything went black.
#alex brightman#broadway musicals#dewey finn#dewey x rosalie#school of rock bway#school of rock broadway#school of rock#school of rock musical
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FIRST IMPRESSIONS #2
So here I am again! This time I have the part 2 of my first fanfiction about Spider-Man where our protagonist (Thalia) is going through too much for her and everything is out of control. This is more angst than I pretended but I kinda like the way this is going. Anyway, enjoy!
The redhead was in a poorly lit room with a couple of lamps and entertained herself by punching a punching bag, in the center of which was a red spray drawing of a spider. The sweat running down his forehead was proof that she had been there for several hours. She was tired, frustrated, angry, but one more punch was the difference between winning and losing. She didn't bother to turn when the sound of the door indicated that someone had entered the room but was forced to stop when that person entered her range of vision. A blond boy with brown eyes dressed in a white shirt and dress pants was staring at her so intently that she was beginning to feel uncomfortable.
-This had better be important -she growled, taking off the gloves that protected her knuckles to grab her water bottle.
-I wouldn't bother going down here if It wasn't -he replied annoyed- Prepare yourself, I want you out in a hour.
Thalia spat out the water in surprise and coughed several times to catch her breath. With her hand she wiped the water from her face, which was now glowing with joy and impatience.
-Out? Back to work? I'm going for my suit!
Before the girl could take three steps he cut her off.
-Civil clothes, Thalia. Recon mission, they won't risk you.
As if it were a balloon deflating, Thalia turned to look at him disappointed just in time to receive a folder of papers that he had thrown at her.
-Recon?
-Vigilance, actually. That is your goal. Do not lose sight of him and better that you are not discovered this time. You are in testing period again, do not risk it.
-Okay -she growled in frustration, heading for the exit much more slowly this time.
-Thalia.
The redhead only turned with a raised eyebrow.
-You should go see your father.
Thalia's heart stirred uneasily, struggling between guilt and pride.
-It's none of your business -she muttered resentfully, opening the door and slamming it shut.
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Later on the streets of New York.
-Target in sight, radio silence until further notice -the girl whispered before turning off the hearing aid hidden in her ear.
Captain America in all his glory was a couple of meters from her, with a group of men and women he was helping to train in the park. They stretched and flexed as she sat under a tree drinking water and pretending she was enjoying a peaceful morning.
When more than half an hour had passed without anything interesting happening, Thalia simply let her imagination run wild. Spider-Man's words were repeated over and over in his head since their last meeting. Anger and frustration filled her and focused on her fist, which began to squeeze the water bottle she was holding until it doubled over. With an eye on Captain America who had now been joined by Sam, she got up to drop the bottle and then buy herself another at a stall a few meters from her position. This also served as a cover, pretending to be normal something she hadn't known for a year and a half at least. That was what she didn't like about vigilance, too much time alone with herself. For a year now she had been trying not to be left alone with her own thoughts, which were arguing with each other at a speed that was difficult to continue reviewing her greatest mistakes and criticizing her exploits to be better.
So deep in thought was she that didn't see the person she ended up colliding. He was a boy a little taller than she, with curly brown hair and edgy chocolate eyes, wearing plain jeans and a shirt with an atom joke on it. The boy was handsome but he was a bundle of nerves, he just apologized and asked if she was okay.
-Peter Parker -he introduced himself with a nervous smile after helping her up.
-Nice to meet you, Parker -she said absently looking around.
It seemed as if the boy was waiting for her to introduce herself and that made her feel a little uncomfortable.
-Thalia -she finally said- Thalia Strand.
-Nice name -the boy smiled almost relieved that the girl wanted to continue talking- Do you come around often?
-Not really -she replied, her gaze wandering around the park almost about to panic because she couldn't find Captain America.
-Have you lost something? I can help?-the boy continued offering himself.
She looked him one last time, up and down, making the boy more nervous at times.
-I'll manage on my own, thanks -her response was a little too abrupt but she wasn't going to stay to apologize.
She left the park in the direction of the busy streets and looked everywhere. How could someone as famous as Captain America go unnoticed in New York? She couldn't report her situation because she had been on silent radio for hours and because it would make her look bad after her last failure. Frustrated, she took out her cell phone and started searching in social networks, someone have to post something about him because everyone loved Captain America and the social red it's a good place to freak out just seeing captain America at the metro. And there he was, at a little cafe two roads at her right. So she went there without hesitation and saw him easily from the window of the cafeteria taking pictures with the workers.
She decided to hide in the bookstore across the street where she would go unnoticed and could easily monitor her target. Hiding among the shelves that were displayed in the middle of the street, a cover caught his attention "Spider-Man friend and neighbor or a danger to our city?". Thalia's small laugh was heard, she couldn't agree more with that writer named Jameson. Then she heard a small noise and she felt her body tempt in anticipation, an automatic response after what happened on her last mission. In a quick motion, she had a boy's arm against his back and he was crushing his face against the bookshelf.
-It's me. Peter Parker. We just meet at the park a few minutes ago. I... -the boy was interrupted by Thalia who speak like she wasn't believing what the boy was saying. In fact, she wasn't believing a word at this point.
- You have been following me? That's creepy, you know?
-Like a girl who looks innocent but she can push me against the bookshelf without a hand? Yeah. Creepy.
-You don't know how to talk to girls, right? -she said as she leave the guy so he can take care of his arm.
-Really? I just came because this fell from your pocket when we collide.
In the boy's hand was a little blue pendant. It wasn't too much, it was just a little pendant of a turquoise stone obelisk with a silver chain. She freak out a bit at the realization that the necklace wasn't in her pocket.
-Don't worry, I just came to return this to you. I thought it was important to you -smiled this guy, Parker, while he leave the necklace in her hand.
She was so confused right now. This guy, whom she didn't know, came to her from the park just to give this to her just because he tough it was important to her. Something inside her made her feeling weird.
-Thanks -she muttered a little shy.
-Nothing -the always smiling boy stood there as if there was something that Thalia had forgotten.
The weird feeling that Thalia was feeling before just go away. Now the suspicious was on her mind. This guy, Parker, was waiting a reward or something?
-What now? I have thanked you.
Suddenly Parker realize that he was staring at her too much so he blushed abruptly and start rambling about incoherent things like he didn't want to stare or like it wasn't like she wasn't pretty enough not to stare because she was, pretty he wanted to say she was pretty but he wasn't her to feel uncomfortable with him.
At this point Thalia was just enjoying the sight of this cute boy just freaking out. It wasn't something she was used to. The flirt, if this was flirting, and the nervous. Things like that was just left behind when her dad started feeling really bad. And this little thought brought her back to reality. Where was him?
-Not again -she growled really frustrated now.
-I... I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.
Thalia look at this guy one more time. She thought that if she wasn't in this situation maybe she would invite Parker to a cafe and would flirt around just to make him freak out and rumble about things because was cute and funny even if they wouldn't meet never again just to enjoy chat with someone new. But she had no option.
-Look, I think this is funny and you're cute but I'm doing something important so thank you again for the necklace but I have to go.
She spoke so fast that the guy didn't have any chance to say anything more. The girl ran away from the guy and looked everywhere for her objective but it wasn't around. She swore under her breath. Why was happening this to her? She was happy two years ago, when things were simple and everything was okey and she didn't have to grow up and take care of herself.
This wasn't supposed to happen to her.
She was about to cry. She knew that. It was that feeling growing inside her.
She took a breath. Then another breath. And then one more just to be sure.
And here we go again. Running through the busy alleys, looking for the objective when a explosion obstructed the streets. She almost freak out but composed herself. People started running everywhere and screaming. And there he was captain America just fighting a lizard man who came out of the sewer.
She hid in an alley from where she could see everything. She thought about disabling the radio silence and reporting what was happening but she didn't. Wondering to herself how a person would choose to take care of things like that. How anyone would choose to be a hero? Was it something that everyone would choose except her because everyone was brave enough to choose this? That makes her a coward? Because in her worst moment she choose to be a criminal, following instructions like stealing or spying. Her dad wouldn't approve it. But he wasn't there to take care of her, she was the one taking care of herself and her dad.
The lizard man throw captain America and she hide more so he can't see her hiding there. And she noticed something on her back.
-Hello criminal who doesn't hide her face this time.
There was Spider-Man. And she was so upset about that hero.
-You have to be kidding me.
-In fact, I make some funny jokes but almost nobody appreciates it.
She took advantage of the always talkative hero and walked back away. But then the hero throw a web to her wrist and pulled her to his chest.
-Not this time, my little criminal.
And then the lizard was thrown into that alley and captain America came running.
-Spider-Man? What are you doing here?
-Oh, hello captain! -waved the hero with his free hand a little too much excited.
-Take your girlfriend away from here!
Captain America was containing the lizard man so he can't attack them while both of them started rumbling about they weren't dating, this wasn't a date, she never would date someone like him or she was a criminal that he had to stop.
-I don't care! -answer the superhero- Just go away! This is dangerous!
-You need help, cap? -offered the arachnid.
-Go. Away.
The looks that captain America gives them was enough to scare Thalia and she was almost relieved when Spider-Man took her in his arms and swing them out of the fight.
-Let me go, you bastard! -Thalia was fighting with the hero without results because it was like she wasn't punching the hero's chest.
-Stop doing that or we'll fall from there. Do you want to become a crushed mosquito?
And then she stop fighting with the hero. At least until they reached the roof of a building where she pushed the hero away from herself and put in a defensive position.
-Why do you always want to fight? -he complained almost upset with this.
-Because you are the hero and I am the criminal?
-But you told me about this guy forcing you to do this. Even if you ended stealing the tiara I thought you were serious about that. I still believe you. If you have any problem them just...
-Just take care of them -she interrupted the hero- at my own. I don't need a hero to save me.
-But maybe you need a friend?
And that's how Thalia asked herself when were the last time she had a friend. But throw away this thought and reforced her defensive position.
-Stop confusing me! I don't need you!
-If you're confused maybe it's because you know I'm telling the truth? Please, I want to help.
-Why do you care? You don't know me.
-I learned that it's better offers help first than fight and then ask. I stopped more criminals like this.
And then something happened that surprised both the hero and Thalia. She started laughing. Just a little at first. And then a lot. It was funny the idea of a hero offering him a help that nobody had wanted to give her a year ago. The hero was so surprised that didn't know how to act. And when she stop laughing she started crying. She was so upset of this. A new mission failed, now she wasn't be able to found captain America again and she didn't even knew why she had to spy him. Neither she know how to safe her dad on her own. And that was too much for her.
-Ey -whispered the hero, too close suddenly- it's okay to ask for help when we can't take it anymore.
-Why do you care? -she asked in response.
-Because I'm your friend and neighbor Spider-Man. It's my job.
Thalia was jealous how sure the hero was about his role in his life. She was too lost in her own life.
-Do you want to talk about it? -asked the hero in a whisper almost if he was afraid that she would freak out and go away if he speaks louder.
She didn't answered as she still crying out all her stress. The hero just sat there making her sure he was there with her. And when the cry stops, she looks at him with her puffy eyes and the red nose and the hero held his breath unconsciously.
-I don't want to talk about it -was her answer.
-Then don't talk. Just take me with your boss.
She really thought about it. Her boss was a horrible person and deserved to be in prison. But then her father would be helpless again. Hammerhead was the only one to accept taking care of the bills while she make stuff for him. At the beginning were only simple stuff like help his minions with the food and the cleaning and then started the training and at some point they were taking her in their missions. She really never noticed it.
-I can't -she answered defeated.
-But you want to paid for your boss? You want to go to prison for him? It's that important your boss for you?
She shook her head looking at the hero.
-You don't understand anything.
-Then tell me -his hand took hers to encourage her- I want to understand.
She had the impulse to tell him everything because she was so tired of pretending she was strong enough. She remained silent with that puppy eyes that the hero understood he would be screwed if he still staring at them also he thought he was pushing her too much. So he got up and headed to the edge of the building without a word.
-Where are you going?
-That lizard man was giving a hard time to cap so I'm going to help him.
Thalia nodded, not knowing why she felt a new wave of sadness.
-Will I find you here when that lizard thing is over?
The question was so surprising to her that she had to think twice before answer.
-I don't know... I have to return home.
The hero sounded almost sad when he spoke again.
-Oh... Then be careful.
And that sounded a little dumb in the hero. The question was written in Thalia's face.
-Because this is New York and weird things happen everyday. Like that weird lizard man for example or that weird guy that looks like a goblin...
Thalia laugh while the hero still rumbling incoherently.
-Like weirdos guys in weirdos suits jumping around the city?
Spider-Man stopped talking to look at her.
-Is that a joke or you're just being mean?
A playful smile grow up in Thalia's face.
-What do you think?
Spider-Man let a nervous laugh scape and passed a hand over his head in an unconscious gesture.
-I'll see you next time you're doing illegal things.
He jumps out of the building and Thalia could heard him calling himself stupid.
_____________________
Later
Thalia never had been so nervous to enter a simple room. She took all the courage she could and open that door that was so scary. The room in front of her was all white and in the bed was a man that looks way more old that he really was connected to a lot of machines that were beeping. Thalia needed all she had inside her not to cry again. The man open her eyes and look at her with renovated energy.
-Is that my little Thalia who came to see her old father? -he tried to sit properly but failed- I'm glad you can make time for your old father with your study.
Thalia walk to the bed and stay in with a guilty smile.
-You're not that old, daddy.
Her dad took her hand in theirs with a meaningful look.
-What is bothering you, pumpkin?
-It's nothing, daddy. I'm just tired.
-You're studying too much, are you sleeping well?
-Yes, daddy. It was just a good book.
Her dad laughed at that but then he coughs loudly. After the man calm down his daughter, they still there just chatting about nothing while the girl was containing a cry.
-Now tell me, pumpkin.
Thalia looks at her father's eyes and she knows she couldn't lie.
-I have a friend that it's in troubles, daddy. This... friend have to make a choice and I don't know how to help her.
-You and your heart -he laughed- Accept a advice from this old man? Just do what your heart demands, it can't be wrong if you do it with your heart.
-Even if that thing could make someone suffer?
-Well sure your friend have that tiny voice inside her mind. You know what I mean.
-You mean that tiny voice that says us to do the next thing right? I think you tell me about it before.
Thalia just stayed there with her dad 'til visit hour finished. The words of her dad in her mind just confusing her more.
#spiderman x reader#spiderman imagine#spiderman x oc#spiderman#marvel#marvel fanfiction#peter parker x oc#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker#oc#fanfiction#fanfic
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The Thin Line in Between | Sirius Black x OC | Prologue
A/N: Hi, I hope you guys like it. Feel free to let me know what you guys think of the story.
Warnings: my crappy writing... 😁
Description: People always say there was a thin line between love and hate.
She was a Malfoy and he was a Black. But growing up in the same circle doesn't necessarily mean that a good relationship will blossom between them.
She was not like other girls and he was not like most guys.
They were opposites from the very beginning. They had been at each other's throats even before they stepped foot at Hogwarts.
She was his curse and he was her plague. She desired nothing more than to live up to her name and all he wanted was to escape his.
But between their families and the raging wizarding war, the clear path they were once headed has blurred and it's now up to them to decide which side of that line they will cross.
Will they choose to fight together? Or will they remain against each other?
*ALL RIGHTS BELONGS TO JK ROWLING*
"I know a girl, she's like a curse. We want each other, no one would break first."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOGWARTS EXPRESS ~ 1971
Sirius was sat in his compartment aboard the Hogwarts Express. He was finally on his way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and, most importantly, he was at last far away from his parents. He could finally have a chance to be happy for a change. There was no one around to tell him how to behave, what values he should believe in, what magic he should practice, and which people he should interact with. He was free.
Sirius was chatting with James Potter, a boy he met a few moments ago. When a girl with light blonde hair walked by and caught his eye.
She was dressed in a black dress under a black coat with gold buttons, which were completely undone. Her hair had been pinned back on each side with green hair clips. She had a neutral yet slightly haughty expression on her face as she followed an older boy with the same long blonde hair that had been tied in a low ponytail. Students at the corridor began to part for them as the siblings passed by.
"Not even at the school yet and you're already checking out the girls." James teased. "You don't waste time, do you mate."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Believe me, if I were gonna check out a girl, it wouldn't be that one."
"Why?" James asked. "I thought she was kinda cute."
Sirius scoffed. "Yeah, maybe. But wait till you actually talk to her."
James arched his brows, confused. "Blimey, you sound like you know her."
Sirius knew that girl alright. How could he forget someone like her. Cold. Uncaring. Rude. Humourless. He could go on for hours. The night they met was one of the worst nights of his life.
"Isabelle Evanora Malfoy," he said. "Abraxas Malfoy's only daughter. My cousin Narcissa is engaged to her brother. Met her during their engagement ball at the Malfoy's manor."
"Ah, so she's your soon to be cousin-in-law." James said.
"My mother wants me to get close to her." Sirius said, with distaste. "She wants to solidify the merger of the Blacks and Malfoys. But there's no way I'm ever gonna go through with it."
He was no longer under his parents' roof. He could do what he wanted now. And what he wanted didn't involve Isabelle Malfoy in the slightest.
Isabelle was quiet throughout the train ride. It was her first year at Hogwarts and her nerves were certainly getting the better of her.
"Evie..." called Lucius, her older brother.
He sat right across from her in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express. He most probably noticed how quiet she's been since leaving the manor this morning.
"Are you still upset about father not seeing you off for your first year?" he asked.
"No, I'm used to it." she said, sadly.
The great Abraxas Malfoy would never be caught dead anywhere near the King's Cross Station or Hogwarts, especially if it's of his own free will. After all, how could a Malfoy be under the same roof as the mudbloods and blood traitors that studied at Hogwarts?
Unacceptable, her father would say.
The only reason he had chosen for her and her brother to study at Hogwarts was because it was closer to home, which meant their father could keep a closer eye on both of them and of course there's the fact that there are a great number of notable pure-blood families at Hogwarts that would make for great allies and connections. But if it were up to Isabelle and Lucius, they would have chosen to go to Durmstrang Institute, where mudbloods were not admitted and all types of magic was part of the curriculum.
Their father had always taught Isabelle and Lucius the importance of blood purity and the superiority of those with pure-blood over those whose blood has been tainted with muggle blood. Abraxas Malfoy was never a very attentive father, especially since their mother passed according to Lucius, but he made it a point to educate them about the Malfoy family's values and beliefs.
With a father like that you can just imagine how Isabelle's childhood was like. Luckily for her she had Lucius, who had always been there for her, especially when their father couldn't. He's the one person that Isabelle doesn't have to play the perfect little Malfoy princess for. But right now, there was one concern she had that she couldn't tell even her brother.
Isabelle smiled at Lucius. "It's nothing, Luci. Just first day jitters."
"Don't let father hear you say that." he teased. "You know what he always say."
"A Malfoy must always present one's self with pride and dignity befitting the name." she said, briskly. "Don't remind me. I've been getting lectures about that non-stop for past five years since you left for Hogwarts. It was torture."
Lucius looked like he was about to laugh, when a student passed by their compartment. He immediately straightened and his face molded back to his practiced neutral expression. Not showing any signs that he was about to burst out in laughter just a few moments ago.
The sun had already set when they arrived at Hogwarts. The first years were all led to the Great Hall where the house sorting will be held.
Professor McGonagall, a tall, stern faced, black haired witch in emerald-green robes, started calling students one by one to sit on a simple wooden stool, that had been placed in front of the the first years, once the Sorting Hat had finished it's song.
"Black, Sirius." Professor McGonagall called.
A boy with a slightly long dark hair and gray eyes stepped forward and sat at the stool. Some of the girls were giggling and whispering among themselves about how good looking the boy was and some of them were even from the higher years.
Isabelle just rolled her eyes. To her, Sirius Black was not worth swooning over. He was annoying and a pain in the butt. And his face nor his name was not enough to convince Isabelle that he's attractive. He wouldn't leave her alone through out Lucius's engagement ball at her family manor. And she wasn't looking forward to getting stuck with him for the entirety of her seven years at Hogwarts, if ever. She would literally go insane.
The sorting hat took a few moments on Sirius's head before...
"GRYFFINDOR!" it announced and Isabelle let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
The table with students wearing scarlet and gold colors cheered as Sirius made his way to them.
Now all Isabelle had to do is to not get sorted into Gryffindor.
She waited patiently in the agitated crowd of first year students as the sorting continued. She turned to one of the tables in the great hall and locked eyes with Lucius, who was sitting at the table who's students were wearing the colors green and silver with a prefect badge gleaming upon his chest, but she looked away almost immediately. The brief interaction made her nervous.
What if the hat places her in a different house? She didn't know what her father would do if she wasn't a Slytherin. Her entire family had been sorted there since the founding of the school, and she was determined to not be the Malfoy that breaks that tradition.
"Malfoy, Isabelle." Professor McGonagall called.
Isabelle nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard her name. She gulped and made her way to the front of the crowd. She sat on the stool and almost as soon as the sorting hat touched her head...
"Slytherin!" the hat cried.
Yes, she thought happily. So long Sirius Black.
Her brother and the rest of the other Slytherins cheered as Isabelle joined them at their table. She sat on the bench across from her brother. Lucius just gave her a small, barely noticeable smile, but Isabelle could tell he was happy. Which was more than enough for her.
Sirius watched from across the room as Isabelle sat with the other Slytherins. He should've known Isabelle wouldn't dare break tradition. He half hoped she would go to a different house to make her less appealing to his parents, but just his luck. Though, maybe there was still a way that he could break the perfect image his parents has of Isabelle Malfoy.
The next day, was their first flying lesson. The class was shared by the Gryffindor and Slytherin first year students. You can just imagine how fun that'll be.
Among the four Hogwarts houses, Slytherin and Gryffindor has had the fiercest rivalry of all. Stretching all the way back to the time of the four founders of Hogwarts.
Madam Hooch, the teacher who had short, gray hair, and yellow eyes like a hawk, divided the students into two sides, facing each other. Sirius stood on the left side and in front of him stood Isabelle.
Sirius was getting frustrated, he couldn't seem to get away from Isabelle. He constantly passed her in the hallways and they have almost all the same classes together.
And he thought things were finally going great for him for once. He was sorted to Gryffindor, he now has three new mates, and he kept getting sweets and all kinds of gifts from various girls.
"Stick out your right hand over your broom," called Madam Hooch at the front, "and say ‘Up!'"
"UP!" everyone shouted.
Sirius's broom flew up into his hand. He glanced in front of him and saw Isabelle call her broom with ease, almost like she'd done it in the past. The other students struggled to get their brooms off the ground. Some brooms rolled away or toward the student calling them, while some, like Peter Pettigrew's, didn't even move in the slightest.
Madam Hooch then showed them how to mount their brooms without sliding off the end. Afterwards, she walked up and down between the students correcting their grips. Isabelle was delighted when Madam Hooch commended her for easily following her instructions perfectly. But Isabelle wasn't surprised by that, she and Lucius had been taught how to fly brooms before they were even old enough to go to Hogwarts.
Across from her, she noticed Sirius rolling his eyes, when Madam Hooch complimented her.
Oh, how she disliked Sirius Black so much. This day had been such torture. Isabelle had been very tempted to send an owl to her father, begging him to transfer her to Durmstrang. She just couldn't escape Sirius Black all day.
“Now, when I blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard,” said Madam Hooch. “Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet, and then come straight back down by leaning forward slightly. On my whistle — three — two–”
PREEET!
Isabelle did as told and she hovered off the ground, as high as the topmost branch of an old oak tree. She was about to lean forward to get back down to the ground, when a broom zoomed past her almost throwing her off her own broom. She gripped her broom even tighter, trying to regain her balance.
"WHOA!" said Sirius as he soared past Isabelle.
He had only meant to slightly bump into her and make her lose her temper, since he knew for a fact that she had quite the temper, but the broom flew toward Isabelle at full speed. Sirius had barely managed to prevent himself from crashing into her by stirring the broom toward another direction. He pulled the broom to a stop and turned around to face a fuming Isabelle.
At least his plan had the same effect.
"SIRIUS BLACK!" She yelled. "HOW DARE YOU—YOU INSUFFERABLE ARROGANT LITTLE TWAT!"
"What?" Sirius taunted. "Couldn't handle getting shaken a little, Malfoy?"
Madam Hooch blew her whistle. "Black, get down he—"
But before she could finish Isabelle leaned forward and grasped her broom tightly in both of her hands. It shot toward Sirius like a javelin. Sirius only just got out of the way in time. Soon the two were in a high-speed broom chase. They could hear Madam Hooch somewhere on the ground, blowing her whistle and telling the two of them to stop.
Sirius glanced back and saw Isabelle draw her wand.
"Oppugno!" she cast and a flock of yellow canaries flew out of the trees.
The little flock of birds sped like a hail of fat golden bullets toward Sirius. Sirius made his broom go faster. Unfortunately a few of the birds caught up to him and attacked, pecking and clawing at every bit of flesh they could reach.
"Gah!" he tried to swat them away, but to no avail.
For a first year student, Sirius couldn't believe she was already that good with magic.
"Immobulus!" They heard Madam Hooch cast.
Sirius and Isabelle were immediately immobilized in mid air. The birds that were attacking Sirius were also affected by the spell and froze.
"Descendo!"
Isabelle and Sirius were both pulled toward the ground. Once their feet touched the grass, Madam Hooch unfroze both of them then she took both of their brooms.
"Both of you, detention after classes!" Madam Hooch sentenced. "And a deduction of 20 points each!"
"What!?" Isabelle exclaimed. "That's not fair!" She turned to Sirius with a murderous glare, he could have sworn flames would start shooting out of her dark eyes any second. "He started it!"
"I don't care who started it, my decision is final!" Madam Hooch said.
"Bu—" Isabelle tried to argue.
"No buts, Ms. Malfoy, unless you want me to deduct more points from your house. You're lucky I won't be notifying your father about this."
Isabelle wanted to argue but she thought it best to bite her tongue. She didn't want to get a howler from her father.
"Good." Madam Hooch said when Isabelle didn't say anything.
Isabelle wanted to murder Sirius Black more than ever now.
You want me to play your little games, Black? Isabelle thought to herself. Fine. Let's play.
After classes, Isabelle and Sirius were in the Great Hall polishing the ornate candelabras. They were making very slow progress due to each being overly ornate. And they still had thousands more candelabras to polish all over the castle.
Isabelle and Sirius remained at opposite ends of the room, a deafening silence hung around the two. Neither one willing to break it. They would occasionally shoot death glares at each other but Madam Hooch being there prevented them from doing anything more.
Sirius was covered in bandages due to his canary induced wounds—all thanks to a spell Lucius once taught Isabelle—while Isabelle had received a lecture from her brother before she went to her detention.
But that was just the beginning of their story. Unknown to the two of them, their future held more twists and turns than either of them could have ever imagined.
#slytherin girl#sirius black fic#sirius black x oc#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black#marauders era#james potter#remus lupin#malfoy#lily evans#regulus black#lucius malfoy#slytherin#harry potter#the marauders#severus snape
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Jon and Mary arranged for their parents to meet for the first time. Jon and Mary are living together now in Boston. They've been together for a couple of years. Living together is the next step and they're doing fine. I am Mary's father. My wife Lynn and I came up from Charlotte to meet Jon's parents who arrived from Cape Cod.
I was a bit anxious before the meeting when I imagined the many ways that such a meeting should go.
Parents love their children and have confidence in them. Mary introduced us to Jon about a year ago. I immediately took a liking to Jon. He seemed like a perfect match for Mary. I didn't want to screw this up.
We met at the Mirabeau Spa. I arrived with Jon and Mary. Lynn came up from Duxbury with our oldest daughter Erin. The day before, we had celebrated Thanksgiving with Erin, her husband Scott and five of our grandchildren. All of us arrived at exactly 2 o clock which was the arranged time and kind of a miracle considering the kind of traffic snage that all three cars encountered on their way to the meeting. Our car had left 90 minutes early to get arrive on time.
On the way into the spa, we met Jon's parents Marty and Dianne. We shook hands and went to our table.
I come from a red state which is turning purple. Around here. you've got to be careful with conversation as you never know who is gonna be an anti-vaxer/Trumpster. Jon had told me in advance only a few things about his parents. Marty was an insurance guy who loved Tom Petty. Dianne was a retired teacher who HATED Trump.
Jon spoke of his parents with love and respect.
Earlier, when I anticipated the meeting I thought that I might as well break the ice with three simple statements: 1) I hated Trump 2) I've seen Tom Petty live three times and 3) I loved their son.
As we gathered at the table, I began to relax. I Immediately took a liking to both Marty and Dianne. The ice had broken quicker than I had imagined. We engaged in some not quite small talk but still kinda cautious.
I felt safe in their company so after about fifteen minutes of listening, I decided to go for it. Marty was chatting with Lynn. I was chatting with Dianne. I trusted her.
I said, "ya know Dianne when I was thinking about this meeting, I figured out what I wanted to say and ya know what, I'm gonna say it."
Dianne looked straight into my eyes and I into hers.
"I want you to know these two things. I hate Trump and I love your son."
Dianne's eyes filled with tears.
She responded with, "I'm so happy to hear that because we love Mary."
I could feel my eyes misting up.
Dianne went on to enumerate all of the things that she loves about Mary and I responded with all of the things I love about John. She congratulated Lynn and me for being great parents for having raised such a great daughter and I responded in kind.
It's pretty cool when you're meeting a stranger and within a few minutes both of you have tears of pride and relief in their eyes.
The conversation went to a whole new level. Everybody was joining in with nobody dominating, everybody listening and smiling.
Marty and I bonded over golf and Tom Petty.
We talked politics and agreed on everything. Our guards were joyfully down.
I wasn't completely surprised.
This is exactly how such a meeting should go.
Our kids loved each other. We loved our kids. Why would I expect to not like the parents of the man that my daughter loved? Why would they expect to not like the parents of the woman that their son loved? They reminded me of John as I'm sure Lynn and I reminded them of Mary.
We continued our sharing for another hour while we ate our food.
It could not have gone better.
As we parted, I shook hands with Marty after he hugged Lynn. Then I hugged Dianne after Lynn and Dianne shared a hug.
When I shook Marty's hand I said "I've got a feeling we're gonna see each other again"
Marty agreed with a smile.
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“The Novel”
I've been needing to talk to somebody about something. Last night, somebody I don't talk to very often anymore was willing to give up some sleep to talk to me.
I gave them the abridged version. I knew they needed sleep and didn't have time for a novel.
.
.
.
Here is "The Novel".
---
A child learns their name by having it spoken to them repetitively.
A pet learns its name by having it spoken to them repetitively.
When bullies call you gay and queer repetitively because you've never had a date much less a girlfriend in 12 years, ... At some point you begin to believe it.
When that trend continues to a statistic of 3.25 years of relationship out of 30 years of life.....
You begin to question the things you ever thought you knew.
I was an opinionated ass in high school that knew better but did the things anyways because I had nothing to really lose. Except I did lose alot of pride along the way.
I didn't like many things, and I didn't understand the decisions of many people. There are days that I wish I was still friends with people that I alienated or that alienated me because I didn't believe in drinking alcohol or having kids before college, or at a young age at all.
There are alot of days that I wonder....will I have to be find a lady 8-10 years younger than myself to love me for who I am...and potentially make them have kids at a young age so I'm not the age of their peers' grandpa's when they graduate?
^ That image was me in high school.
I never dated in high school. I courted and got shot down a ...couple... times. I didn't go to parties, I wasn't a part of the cool kids' clique. I didn't really....do anything high-schooley in high school.
And it got me bullied. My eccentricities made me well known. I was generally outspoken and firm on what I believed (no sex, no alcohol, scientifically agnostic) and...it basically made me live in infamy. It got me bullied alot. I was called gay and queer alot. And it wasn't just from 1 or 2 or 5 people.
I had 3 crushes in high school. Two were a grade younger than I.
The first I asked out my Sophomore year. We talked alot, sat next to eachother, did classwork together. We were both above-average students, so the teacher us let us do what we wanted while she dealt with the rest of the class.
That was really what entered me into the downward spiral of depression. I'd never asked a girl out before, much less been shot down. It took me a long time to get over that.
The second I asked out my junior year. We didn't have any classes together, but I had worked my way into her family via a mutual friend. I felt like we knew eachother fairly well.
Getting shot down by her didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. But given the nature of high school, the backlash of her friends and friends-of-friends, and probably half the school altogether...that is what hurt. It showed the true colors of many whom were already primadonna status, approaching it, or (falsely) thought they had it. She did apologize to me after a period of time, and ultimately, she probably made the better decision.
I never asked my third crush out. After being shot down twice in two years, I didn't want it to be three for three. I worked with her, and we got along awesome. Maybe not asking her was a fatal flaw in my life. I will never know. We have stayed friends over the years despite not seeing eachother until earlier this summer. I met up with her twice, and both times wrenched my emotions. I've since found out she is actually taken, which shot down my chance of ever knowing the true answer.
Then I finally went to college.
I went from a school of 450 kids in a town of 360 people to a dorm of 500+ kids in a college of 10,000+.
But I did not change with the scenery. I was still outspoken.
Neither of my roommates liked it.
Neither of my roommates liked me.
I was outspoken enough to write a persuasive essay on Abstinence for my college English class. I didn't see the problem.
Until the Prof said we had to read them aloud, after she had graded them.
Then I panicked. I crashed and I burned.
I felt so....little and insecure.
I wasn't one to force my thoughts on people. Yet, I just had.
Do you know how bad that feels inside?
Pretty damn bad.
One day, I got a message from a high school friend I hadn't talked to in a while. We started talking. In the end, she admitted she had a crush on me through high school and asked if we could give it a try. I was 1.5-2 hours away from home.
It was a hard juggle, but we made it work as best as somebody that'd never had a GF before much less a LDR could.
After a few months of LD dating and the start of my second year of college, a topic came up that would change the rest of my life mentally.
And something clicked in my head.
- What if this girl was 'the one'?
- What if something happened. Would I want to die a virgin?
- What if this doesn't work out. I'll always be the inexperienced one?
That last one hit me hard. There was no way around the fact. And for what I knew, I knew that being the lesser experienced would likely never be a good thing.
(10 years later, a friend put it perfectly....)
I convinced myself to break something that I had let run my life for the previous 10+ years.
I think it's safe to say that very few peoples' first time is "great". But it's a learning experience.
-learn-
-learn-
-learn-
Then we broke up after 9 months.
We rarely saw eachother, it couldn't be that difficult to get over right?
Wrong.
-sulk-
-lonely-
-stressed-
-imbalanced-
And...
-addicted-
I was broken. The fire inside of me had been lit, and nothing was putting it out.
I had a raging wildfire spreading within me within a few short weeks, and no way to control it.
I had just started a job at the school newspaper, running the website. I shared an office with the two graphic design artists. We were getting along pretty well and it was fairly evident that both of them were really relaxed and loose about what they wanted to talk about. I was the reserved one, sitting at my desk, listening with minimal contribution.
Until one day, I finally had the courage to chime in to their conversations. It didn't take much longer before I was in my second relationship.
I learned alot of new and different things during that 2.5 year relationship.
Example: telling her father about my shellfish allergy. It was good because he cooked alot of it. It was because he knew my weakness and made no secret that some things would easily justify using it against me.
I learned to get over my fear of public image. I was dating a woman almost twice my weight. When we first started...dating...I was petrified to be seen with/around her much less hold her hand. Over time that phobia subsided.
I learned that addiction comes in many forms. I spent many nights at her apartment, sometimes I went home and sometimes I didn't. Spending 4 hours a day with her at work and another 4-12 hours with her at her apartment...it got to the point that I missed her when I was away from her. I missed having her company, and I missed cuddling.
I learned that I'm very much a physical contact person. After all those years of being an only, lonely child...I wanted to give and receive physical touch.
She would print off a piece of artwork, I would lay on my stomach on her bed, and she would trace the outline onto my back, then start filling it in. That's usually when I would fall asleep. She would keep drawing as I slept, and eventually I would wake up.
As long as we were touching, I was happy. Sometimes I would lay on her, sometimes she would lay on me, sometimes we'd be side by side with a leg on the other.
I learned that calculated risks are worth calculating to the limit. And that mis-calculating is not fun.
I learned that parents are smart and figure out almost everything.
There was only one real issue and one hybrid issue with the relationship.
Both of us were mentally strained. I could not speak my emotions or feelings. I couldn't handle the 'adulting' conversations regarding the future. I couldn't explain when I was sad, mad, upset, or anxious in voice, only text. I couldn't "use my words". When scolded, I just wanted to ball up in a corner and cry. At the same time, both of our academics were on a downward spiral of death. She ended up dropping out completely and going back to junior college, I ended up changing majors twice and barely escaping with any pride left at all and a very expensive piece of paper that said "Bachelor of Science in Miscellaneous Bullshit". Okay, University Studies...but same thing.
The relationship had evolved far beyond what it had originally been intended to be.
It was supposed to be more of a cover-up for a FWB situation than an actual relationship. But we caught some sort of feelings, and....
.
.
I've been single since then.
It took a few years, but we still talk to eachother and are still friends.
But I miss the cuddles.
I miss the touching.
I miss being relaxed and falling asleep while being drawn on.
I miss...alot of things.
I had a few more crushes develop during college. Some I let go, some I got turned down on. At least none of them laughed at me.
One of the ones that I let go...I reconnected with a couple months ago. I was going to ask her out...and I kinda did...only to find out that she was secretly in a relationship that hadn’t gone public yet. That was a pretty good kick to the twig and berries, knowing that I was just too late to the party.
Once I learned about High Functioning Autism, alot of things made sense. I slowly learned better coping mechanisms. I learned to do more "normal" things like making eye contact.
My senior year of college, I met an awesome lady in my coding class. We got along great. She helped crack my shell. We went on walks, we played basketball, we played on pool tables, we played soccer. We sat on balconies and talked. We kind of...had a thing going. She was my only friend to attend my college graduation. We even took a picture together in my cap and gown (which I have tried many times to find. I'm guessing it was deleted....see below).
But we didn't. I wasn't allowed to hug her much less kiss her, even on the forehead (I wanted to...many times). I was barely allowed to hold her hand.
I got shot down. I felt like I was in a plane that was missing a wing and didn't have an ejection seat.
I plummeted into the ground and crashed and burned.
We stopped talking after that.
I still don't know what exactly I did wrong.
I still don't know what exactly I did wrong.
I could say that about many friends that I have lost over the years.
I still don't know what exactly I did wrong.
That was 5 or 6 years ago. I honestly don't remember anymore.
That's how long I have been lonely.
That's how long it has been since I went on a date.
That's how long I have not been able to have an unweighted conversation.
Sure, I have seen my second ex a time or three. But it's not the same. That's not a date. That's not something to lead to the future.
I have a two best friends that I can talk about almost anything with. But I never see them. One lives two states away, the other lives several hours away (any other state besides Texas, and they'd be in another state).
They help. They give me a method to vent. But I am afraid of losing them.
I have lost 3 best friends in my life already.
One cut me out of their life as a birthday present to me after 4 or 5 years, my freshman year in the dorm.
One cut me out of their life after many conflicts over 7 years. We never met in person.
One cut me out of their life after I became a burden to them. We saw eachother on a regular basis, I even stayed at their house once after they tried to break my shell and I (mentally) collapsed into a puddle of goo. They also hurt me once by calling the police for a welfare check, and my parents got involved.
Of the two best friends I have managed to keep, the closer of the two has issues in their own life going on right now. I feel guilty and sad for even talking to them...they have asked that I limit interaction while they try to straighten out their own world. They have also called the police on my for a welfare check, and got my co-workers involved.
I already had a hard time making friends before. Anymore, it's hard for me to trust anyone at all.
I don't have any friends to go places with.
I'm always working my ass off (working 7 days a week these days, haven't had a real day of rest in months).
Social Anxiety says that I can't go anywhere alone. Plus I don't really trust myself alone, much less in a foreign Environment.
How am I supposed to meet a friend, when I work my ass off 7 days a week? When I don't know what resting is?
How do I elevate a non-existent friend to "More than a friend" status?
A child learns their name by having it spoken to them repetitively.
A pet learns its name by having it spoken to them repetitively.
When bullies call you gay and queer repetitively because you’ve never had a date much less a girlfriend in 12 years, … At some point you begin to believe it.
When that trend continues to a statistic of 3.25 years of relationship out of 30 years of life…..
You begin to question the things you ever thought you knew.
Sometimes I wish I was Ace.
Sometimes I wish I knew what I am.
Historically, I can be described as a smart, odd, minimally sarcastic ignoramus. But that is only my personality.
Am I straight? Am I gay? Am I bi? Or am I just hopeless?
Will I ever find love? Will I ever have kids?
Is there something wrong with me that revolts women away?
Will I have to find a woman 8-10 years younger than myself and cause her to have children at a young age to avoid being the age of their peers' grandparents at graduation? If I find a woman now, we date for 3 years, engaged for 1, married for 3, then have a kid...I'll be 37 when they are born and 55 when they graduate high school.
We're the bullies in high school right all this time? I don't want them to be. But what if they are? Or am I just that broken inside?
The things that I like/enjoy...they scare me a little. And that's coming from me. For years I have said I was a sapiosexual (turned on by intelligence rather than personality or looks)...but it never occurred to me, what if the gender lines do not in-fact exist? What if....
These are the questions that keep me awake at night.
These are the questions that feed my depression.
These are the scenarios that feed my anxiety, my trust issues, my loneliness.
These are the reasons that, more than anything....I will never turn down a hug.
Because a hug means you love and care about me.
And I need that reassurance.
But it feels good on the inside, too.
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