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#the return of the Christmas witch
nezoid · 2 years
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Aubrey Plaza, Dan Murphy, and Abbi Jacobson Discuss “The Return of the Christmas Witch” - 10/14/22
🎄🧙‍♀️❤️‍🔥
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Title: Christmas Witch
Author: Daniel Murphy, Aubrey Plaza, Julia Iredale
Series or standalone: series
Publication year: 2021
Genres: fiction, fantasy
Blurb: Each year, a mysterious figure sweeps into town, leaving behind strange gifts in the night. No, not Santa Claus - his sister, the Christmas Witch. Her story begins many, many years ago when her brother was torn away from her as a child. Raised alone by a witch of the woods, Kristtōrn's powers of magic grew, as did her temper. Determined to find her long-lost twin, she set out on a perilous journey across oceans to find him...but what she found instead was a deep-seated fear of her powers, and a confrontation that would leave the fate of Christmas hanging in the balance.
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roseunspindle · 5 months
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Tim Curry: What I've Seen Him in
Rocky Horror Picture Show - Dr. Frank N. Furter
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Annie - Rooster Hannigan
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Legend - Darkness
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Clue - Wadsworth
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Home Alone 2: Lost in New York - Mr. Hector
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The Three Musketeers - Cardinal Richelieu
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Muppet Treasure Island - Long John Silver
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Addams Family Reunion - Gomez Addams
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Charlie's Angels - Roger Corwin
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Criminal Minds - Billy Flynn
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Ferngully - Hexxus
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Beauty and the Beast Enchanted Christmas - Forte
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Scooby Doo and the Witches Ghost - Ben Ravencroft
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Bartok the Magnificent - The Skull
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The Cat Returns - The Cat King
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The Greatest Adventure: Stories from the Bible - The Serpent, Judas Iscariot
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Gargoyles - Dr. Anton Sevarius
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The Wild Thornberrys - Nigel Thornberry
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Over the Garden Wall - Auntie Whispers
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foreversfangirl · 6 months
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ginalover · 2 years
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ginagershon Hanging with my Haggy @plazadeaubrey - so happy that Return Of The Christmas Witch is on the shelves now!!!! Well done and congratulations to Aubrey and @danmurphynyc #witchesrule #returnofthechristmaswitch
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curetapwater · 2 years
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Every Halloween, the mosquitos pick that night to descend upon the trick-or-treaters in droves. So before I put on my costume I applied Off! to my entire surface area lol. Above pumpkin or spice, I think the scent that evokes Halloween night the most for me personally is the scent of bug spray.
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thebibliosphere · 5 months
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My niece loves my office. The arsenic green mint walls and the pastel pink ceiling always get a squeal reaction, but not as much as the Halloween decor I keep “forgetting” to put away. It’s like Barbie’s Haunted Dreamhouse in there, which was the exact aesthetic I was going for. It’s for my inner child who never got to put color on her walls and who loved Halloween more than Christmas and ended up being sent to see the church counselor about it before being firmly asked not to return to Sunday school.
Anyway.
You can tell my MIL hates it, or at least strongly disapproves by the way she says things like, “looks like we forgot to put Halloween away again” or tries to redirect my niece away from the “scary” things.
My niece on the other hand will have none of it. She wants to touch the silver bat shaped bells hanging from the ceiling. She wants to inspect the two skeletons holding hands. The crystals and skulls and Halloween count down clock are all cause for great delight as she points excitedly and yells “spooky!” with shrieking glee.
Today when I walked in to see if my SIL needed anything to change the baby, my niece looked up from cataloging all the “scary” things in the office, pointed directly at me and with the most heartfelt joy you’ve ever heard yelled “Spooky!” And I’ve never felt happier.
I am Auntie Spooky.
I’m surprised an icon didn’t pop up over my head: Weird Witch Aunt Aesthetic Achieved.
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filmhoundsmag · 2 years
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Evil Never Dies: Michael Myers' Enduring Appeal
Evil Never Dies: Michael Myers’ Enduring Appeal
The tagline for Halloween Kills (2021) may have been “evil dies tonight,” but when it comes to Michael Myers that is never quite the case. Since he first slow-walked on screen in Halloween (1978), Myers has persevered. Shoot him six times so he falls off a balcony? No sweat. Trap him in multiple major fires? Only a hiccup on the way to more bloodshed. Of course, Myers’ endurance extends beyond…
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nincompoopydoo · 4 months
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*:・゚✧*:・゚  nincompoopydoo // WIZARDING WORLD MASTERLIST
theseus scamander
⋆ caught in a crossfire [series]: Theseus and his team of Aurors are tasked with a mission to take down a recent movement formed by dark wizards and witches with the intention to erase all muggles. The night takes a turn when you arrive at the scene unknowingly and it seems you’re the next target. ⋆ in search of a grecian beast: As you, Theseus, and Newt find yourselves on a secluded Grecian beach along the Aegean Sea, an endeavor unfolds to seek out a Hippocampus. However, plans don’t turn out as expected. ⋆ for old times' sake: Theseus attempts to convince you to leave your desk. ⋆ happy christmas, dung brain: you visit the Scamander household on Christmas, seeing Theseus after a long time and the two of you’re not sure what to do with all these feelings. ⋆ bertie botts: Theseus gets injured during a fight and you’re mad. ⋆ overnight shift [series]: you and Theseus were known rivals among the Aurors at the British Ministry of Magic. ⋆ false signs: unsaid feelings turn into what seemed as unrequited love to Theseus but it turns out you’re in love with him as much as he is in love with you. ⋆ tea at newt's: newt plays accidental matchmaker. ⋆ envy: you’re jealous, although you hate to admit it, of Theseus’ rather flirtatious assistant. ⋆ trespassing: trespassing during a mission leads to a life or death situation when you and Theseus find yourselves entangled with a dangerous dark wizard. ⋆ war and anguish: theseus returns home as a war hero but you’re engaged and he doesn’t know what to do with himself and his feelings for you. ⋆ crimson cheeks and ivory snow: you spend a snowy day learning to ice-skate with the help of your crush, Theseus. ⋆ behind the sofa: you rant to Newt about his brother’s constant teasing at the workplace which led you to seek a hiding spot behind the sofa when Theseus unexpectedly shows up at his brother’s place. ⋆ shadows on ancient stone walls: soulmate AU: Where the outline of your shadow is your soulmate.
newt scamander
⋆ scamander: you are constantly being used by a ‘friend’ of yours but when you reached your limits, Newt is there to comfort you.
james potter
⋆ healed [series]: you and James had been the best of friends since your Hogwarts days. Thus, you grew strong feelings for the boy, feelings stronger than just plain platonic although you knew about James’ extreme infatuation for the beautiful and intelligent ginger, Lily James. ⋆ you owe me butterbeer: you and James are best friends and you are constantly helping him get Lily’s attention, even if you didn’t like doing so, simply because of your crush on James himself. However, things take a turn and James catches on a little later that he may not truly have feelings for the redhead but instead for someone who has been there with him all along. ⋆ mistletoe and holy moly, are you trying to kiss me?: James is trying to get you to kiss him under the mistletoe.
sirius black
⋆ flowers: you’re the quirky and socially awkward girl that Sirius has a crush on but his flirting ways seem to not work on you. ⋆ prejudice: you’re a Slytherin who stood up for a Ravenclaw against your own housemates which caused you to be attacked. Having been sent to the infirmary, you’re met with the charming Sirius Black.
remus lupin
⋆ alive and true: having found a lost friend, living in the countryside of Yorkshire, feelings of once hidden affection start to bloom in the need to be alive and good things to be real. ⋆ war changes you: Remus comes to visit you at the Hogwarts infirmary involuntarily sparking some old feelings you might have had for each other after not seeing each other for so long.
fred weasley
⋆ good, pure, and beautiful: the Leaky Cauldron serves as a sanctuary to drink your problems away for the night but a certain ginger always seems to find his way to you. ⋆ sheperd's pie: you desperately need a break from studying for your upcoming OWLs which left Fred Weasley, your best friend, the responsibility of coaxing you to do just that despite you being quite headstrong. ⋆ near death: Fred Weasley dies. Nearly.
george weasley
⋆ where two lonesomes meet: in the midst of a Christmas market sits a bench where two walls meet. Here is where two lonesomes meet. ⋆ nature mourns with the mourning: you and George finally find solace after the Battle of Hogwarts. ⋆ five to four: you comfort George after the Battle of Hogwarts. ⋆ snowball fight at midnight, that's christmas to me: where George simply had the audacity to force you to a battle of snowball in the middle of the night, out in the cold.
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acciotherapists · 4 months
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A Spilled Drink
Summary: After a mission gone wrong Y/n believes Loki hates her. Does he really hate her? Or does he simply hate to love her?
Warnings: Smutty smut smut, barely a plot, 18+, minors DNI
Loki x fem!reader
A/N: I started writing this around Christmas time, hence the mistletoe reference lol
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“You look like you could use this,” Nat says as she hands me a glass.
“What is it?”
“A drink, cectpa. I think you could use it.”
I nodded and downed the liquid, wincing as it burned my throat. She smirked at me and I rolled my eyes. “Straight Vodka?”
“I’m Russian,” she chuckles before signaling the bartender. “Another.”
The bartender placed another drink in front of us as Nat spoke. “So what exactly happened with you and Loki?”
I scoffed. “He’s an arrogant asshole.”
“Well, that much we knew but what happened.”
“He got hurt after a mission and he’s hated me ever since.”
“He hurts you because he got hurt?” she scoffed.
“I don’t know, Nat… it’s the only thing that makes sense. He must blame me for his injuries.”
Nat rolled her eyes. “He needs to get over himself. What happened on that mission was not your fault.”
A glass is placed on the counter next to us as the bartender nods. “I’ll have another one coming up in just a moment, Mr. Laufeyson.”
Loki nodded before turning his gaze to me. “Y/l/n,” he greeted.
“Laufeyson,” I replied.
Before I could say anything more I heard Wanda giggling next to Natasha and I turned to her. “What’ve you done now?”
She looked up and I dreaded what was to come for I had a slight inkling as to what she had done. I looked up and my eyes met a mistletoe hanging above our heads. The red berries were glowing as the green vines moved as if they’d just been placed above our heads.
“What is this, witch?” Loki hissed, glaring daggers at Wanda.
“You know, Loki,” Wanda replied, chuckling as she sipped her drink. “Kiss her!”
I rolled my eyes.
“Honestly, Maximoff, of all the jokes you could've pulled today… this little act of trickery is poor even for you.”
I could see his cheeks flushing a hint of pink as he maintained his cold demeanor.
“Oh, come on, Laufeyson! Get in the Christmas spirit! Just kiss her!” Nat exclaimed.
“I will not!”
I rolled my eyes. “I will not be forced to kiss him!”
I saw Wanda wiggle her fingers ever so slightly and Loki’s drink poured over my dress.
“Loki!” I hissed before turning to Wanda. “Wanda!”
She raised her hands innocently. “What? I did nothing!”
“Apologies, Agent Y/l/n!” Loki exclaimed. He conjured a cloth and began dabbing my shoulders. “It’s all over your dress… I’m truly very sorry, love.”
I furrowed my brows at the sudden change in his demeanor.
“Please, allow me to escort you back to your room so you can get out of that dress. I-I’m truly sorry about this, Y/n.”
“It’s fine, honestly.” I brushed him off. “You don’t need to-.”
“She’d love that!” Wanda interrupted, pushing me closer to Loki. I glared at her but she simply smiled in return.
“But before you go…” Once again she gestured to the mistletoe above our heads. I rolled my eyes, preparing to walk away, but Loki had other plans. He grabbed my face and pulled me flush against his chest, pressing his lips to mine. His kiss was rough and his hands were merciless as they moved down my body, grabbing every bit of exposed flesh they could.
“Holy hell, Laufeyson,” I whispered breathlessly as we pulled away from the kiss. He said nothing and simply held out his hand before leading me to my room… at least I thought that’s where he was leading me but once we turned left instead of right I realized that’s not what was happening.
“Where are you taking me?”
“We’re just taking a little detour,” he assured me as we reached his room. “You can leave anytime you want,” he promised as he shut the door behind us and pressed my body against it.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
“I promised I would help you get out of this dress… I intend to make good on my word. As soon as I saw you soaking wet in this dress I couldn't resist.
I scoffed. “That’s how you solve all your problems, isn’t it? By fucking your way out of them.”
He chuckled darkly. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it… late at night when you’re alone with nothing but your hand.” His fingers slowly moved down my side, reaching under my dress. “You can’t tell me your fingers haven’t slipped beneath your skirts to soothe that delicious little ache between your legs, hm?” He pressed his thumb to my clothed clit. “Tell me you haven’t imagined my hands down there… my tongue… my cock.”
“Fuck, Loki.”
His cock twitched in his trousers. “That’s it, darling. Moan my name.”
He pulled my panties to the side, slipping his finger through my folds. I was struggling to control my moans as they threatened to slip from my lips.
“None of that,” he hissed, smacking my ass with his other hand. “Let me hear you.”
I moaned and he chuckled darkly at the sound. “Such lovely little noises you make, darling.” He circled my clit with his thumb and I could feel my orgasm approaching as I gripped his shoulders.
“That’s it, little one,” he murmured into my ear, pressing his lips along my neck. He slipped his fingers inside my entrance, still circling my clit. “Norns, you feel perfect… can’t imagine how good you’re going to feel around my cock.”
I moaned loudly, clenching around his fingers and he chuckled. “There’s my good girl.” I could feel him smirking against my skin before he nibbled the skin of my ear. “Let go, darling. I’ve got you.” His other hand snaked around my waist. “I won’t let you fall. Just let go for me.”
My orgasm ripped through me and I moaned loudly as he continued circling my clit, helping me ride out the high. As I slowly came down he kissed me hard, murmuring against my lips. “You’re perfect.” He lifted me off the ground, gently tossing me on the bed. With a wave of his hand our clothes were gone and he climbed over me, grasping his cock in his hand, before searching my eyes. “May I?”
“Please, Loki,” I moaned, reaching out for him.
“Are you on the pill?” he asked. “Or would you prefer I use a condom?”
I shook my head. “I’m on the pill.” I grabbed his cock, stroking it. “Please.”
He smiled and I removed my hand, sliding it up his chest as he slipped his cock into my entrance, bracing himself above me. HIs eyes closed in pleasure, groaning as he slipped inside me.
“Fuck, darling… better than I ever could’ve imagined.”
I gripped his hips, slowly pushing him against me, begging him to move. He pressed his lips to mine and slowly began setting a steady pace, circling his hips. I moaned into his mouth and I could feel him smiling more each time I moaned for him. “That’s my good girl,” he murmured against my lips. “I can feel you getting close. He moved his hand to my clit, rubbing it harshly. “Cum for me, baby.” His hips started moving faster. “Cum,” he growled. “Cum now.”
My back arched as I came, moaning his name loudly. With a final thrust of his hips, he came inside me, pressing his hips hard against mine as he groaned in pleasure. His thumb was still rubbing my clit as I slowly came down from my high. As I settled back into the bed, breathing heavily, he removed his hand, kissing along my jaw.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, slowly pulling out of me. He conjured a cloth and carefully wiped my thighs. When he finished the cloth disappeared and he settled next to me but I knew I couldn’t stay.
I was preparing to redress and leave his chambers when I felt his arm wrap around my waist as his lips pressed to my shoulders. “Where are you going, little love?”
“Back to my room,” I answered.
“Why?”
“Isn’t that what you want? Isn’t that what most women you bring back do after you’ve fucked them?”
He scoffed. “You are not like most women I bring back here to fuck, darling… you are superior by far… and you mean far more to me than some common whore.”
I sighed, finally turning to face him. “Then do you act as if you hate me? Ever since our last mission together you’ve avoided me like the plague.” 
“I can assure you, my darling… I would not let a plague anywhere near my cock. It is far too valuable an asset to be struck down by a plague.”
I rolled my eyes. “Good talk, Loki,” I said before standing up.
“No, wait!” He abruptly stood and moved in front of me, blocking my path. “I’m sorry, darling. You’re right… I was avoiding you but not for the reasons you think… When I was injured on the last mission… you saw a side of me no one ever has… you saw me vulnerable and I swore to never let anyone see me that way but… but you saw… and you didn’t run away… you didn’t try to use it against me. You… you actually seemed to care… and that scared me more than anything.”
“The thought of me caring for you scared you more than anything?”
He nodded. “I’ve never had that apart from my mother and Thor… it’s not something I thought I could ever get used to.”
“You could… if you wanted to,” I murmured, unable to meet his eyes, but he was having none of that. He lifted my chin, his eyes locking with mine.
“You mean it?”
I nodded.
“So you would… be mine… if I asked?”
Another nod.
“Then… w-would you… be mine?”
I nodded once again and crashed my lips to his, sealing that promise.
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zepskies · 1 month
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Series Masterlist - Wake Me Up
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Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Summary: A few weeks after you and Ben celebrate your first Christmas together, Ben is returning from another mission with the Supe Affairs team. When he discovers that you’ve been taken, he’ll do whatever it takes to find you. And then, to help you heal.
AN: I've written a lot of stories in the Break Me Down verse, but this is the first official mini series! This is set shortly after Love Actually.
Song Inspo: “I Can Read Your Mind” by the Doobie Brothers
Series Tags/Warnings: **18+ only. Romance, smut, and hurt/comfort, but also major angst warning. Violence, mentions of torture (non-graphic), trauma/PTSD.
Chapters:
Familiar Territory
All In Your Eyes
When You Hold Me
The Power In You
Series Complete!
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
Break Me Down Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Series Tag List (Part 1):
@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26
@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort
@mrsjenniferwinchester @lyarr24 @xoxovienna @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28
@nancymcl @ashbatz @secretdreamlandmentality @kristophalis @wonderland2022
@emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow
@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @theonlymaninthesky
@kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun
@lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2
@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420
@tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx
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nezoid · 1 year
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Aubrey Plaza and Dan Murphy live reading/Q&A of “The Return of the Christmas Witch” - 12/13/22
🎄🧙‍♀️❤️‍🔥
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blondephil · 2 months
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hello (one of the) resident phannie data analyst(s) here with some parasocial stats on dnp’s movie tastes! following: distribution of dan and phil's ratings overall, movies they each rated 5 stars, their lowest-rated movies, and the similarities + differences in their tastes
(lore moment: yes i am a data analyst in my real job. yes i surprised myself with wanting to do this in my spare time. but then i remembered when we read dracula in college (yes i was an english major) and i graphed like, how many times dracula was referred to as vampire versus monster or something. so i shouldn’t be surprised.
first up, their overall rating patterns and by ~special status~ (i.e., wall-e, kill bill, avatar, lmao, plus big hero 6 for the fun of it)
dan’s rated 304 movies and phil’s rated 305. both of them have mean and median ratings of 4 with min 1 and max 5.
both rated kill bill vols. 1 and 2 a 5. wall-e got a 4.5 from dan and a 4 from phil (phake phans). both gave avatar a 3.5. and big hero 6 3.5 (dan) and 4.5 (phil)
rating distribution:
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i did analyses here by genre but i need to fix the output (i’m writing all of these based on the markdown document from my phone on the subway, but i need to fix the outputs and i don’t have my computer. so those are pending but there are other genre analyses that i could do & haven’t yet!)
while i was sorting through the data i got the impression that dan overall rated movies higher than phil. so, among movies that they've both rated, here's some information
number of movies dan rated higher than phil: 65
Empire Strikes Back, Blade Runner, Return of the Jedi, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Nightmare Before Christmas, Toy Story, Phantom Mence, Donnie Darko, Attack of the Clones, Finding Nemo, Oldboy, The Notebook, Batman Begins, Brokeback Mountain, WALL-E, (500) Days of Summer, Up, The Hangover, Drive, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Life of Pi, Skyfall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Whiplash, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Room, The Hateful Eight, The Force Awakens, Manchester by the Sea, Deadpool, La La Land, Moonlight, Rogue One, Call Me By Your Name, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., Wonder Woman, Spider-Man: Homecoming, I, Tonya, Thor: Ragnorak, Phantom Thread, Roma, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Toy Story 4, Midsommar, Ad Astra, Knives Out, Soul, The Green Knight, No Time to Die, Don't Look Up, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Turning Red, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Fabelmans, Glass Onion, Beau is Afraid, Barbie, Oppenheimer, Poor Things
number of movies phil rated higher than dan: 55
Star Wars (New Hope), Blair Witch Project, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Ocean's Eleven, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moonrise Kingdom, Iron Man 3, Gravity, Prisoners, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Imitation Game, Nightcrawler, John Wick, Gone Girl, Big Hero 6, Jurassic World, The Martian, The Revenant, Nocturnal Animals, Split, Get Out, Baby Driver, The Disaster Artist, Dunkirk, The Shape of Water, The Greatest Showman, The Last Jedi, Ready Player One, Crazy Rich Asians, A Star is Born, Rocketman, Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, Joker, The Rise of Skywalker, The Invisible Man, A Quiet Place Part II, Greenland, Tenet, Malignant, Eternals, The Matrix Resurrections, Scream (2022), Nope, Prey, Talk to Me, Avatar: The Way of the Water, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One
number of movies they rated the same: 99!
Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Se7en, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Spider-Man, Lost in Translation, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Mean Girls, Howl's Moving Castle, Children of Men, The Dark Knight, Pontypool, Inglourious Basterds, Avatar, Toy Story 3, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Black Swan, The Social Network, 21 Jump Street, The Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook, The Conjuring, Snowpiercer, Her, Thor: The Dark World, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Boyhood, It Follows, Guardians of the Galaxy, Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), Interstellar, Ex Machina, The Witch, Avengers: The Age of Ultron, Mad Max: Fury Road, Inside Out, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Your Name., Arrival, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, mother!, It, Blade Runner 2049, Hereditary, Black Panther, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Avengers: Infinity War, Captain Marvel, Us, Avengers: Endgame, Parasite, It Chapter Two, Marriage Story, Uncut Gems, 1917, Black Widow, The Suicide Squad, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Dune, Last Night in Soho, The Batman (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once, X, The Northman, Top Gun: Maverick, Bullet Train, Barbarian, Pearl, M3GAN, Dungeons and Dragongs: Honor Among Thieves, Evil Dead Rise, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., No Hard Feelings, Saltburn, Priscilla, Society of the Snow, Saw X, Leave the World Behind
i didn't analyse this by genre or anything, but i could -- so if you're interested lmk!
the 5 movies with the most different ratings between dan and phil
- Iron Man 2 (dan: 2, phil 3.5)
- The Greatest Showman (d: 2.5, p: 4)
- Malignant (d: 3, p: 4.5)
- Scream (2022) (d: 2.5, p: 4)
- Beau is Afraid (d: 3, p: 1.5)
Interesting that even though dan has more higher rated movies, 4/5 of these ones phil rated higher.
next, their 5-star movies
dan's five stars: 80
Alien, Empire Strikes Back, ET, Blade Runner, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Jurassic Park, Nightmare Before Christmas, Schindler's List, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Toy Story, Fargo, Scream, The Fifth Element, Hercules, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Fight Club, Magnolia, The Emperor's New Groove, Donnie Darko, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Finding Nemo, Kill Bill, Oldboy, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Shaun of the Dead, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, Revenge of the Sith, Brokeback Mountain, No Country for Old Men, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Tree of Life, 21 Jump Street, The Avengers, Life of Pi, Skyfall, Under the Skin, Whiplash, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Sicario, The Hateful Eight, La La Land, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, First Man, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Parasite, Midsommar, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Oppenheimer, Poor Things
phil's five stars:
Star Wars (New Hope), Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant, Arrival, Dunkirk, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Gladiator, Little Miss Sunshine
overlap: 39
Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick
& their lowest rated movies...
dan: matrix resurrections (1) , thor: the dark world (1.5), the rise of skywalker (1.5)
phil: crimes of the future (1), attack of the clones (1.5), thor: the dark world (1.5), don’t look up (1.5), the matrix resurrections (1.5), doctor strange in the multiverse of madness (1.5), beau is afraid (1.5), black bear (1.5)
not even chris hemsworth could save thor the dark world, i guess (kat dennings, though…)
movies they logged on the same date:
note that this is like, non-exhaustive, because this is only based on their diaries that list the date. i think in reality they've watched most of these movies together. frequently dan logged a couple days after phil which aren’t shown here. procrastination queen
Pontypool, Eternals, The Northman, Nope, Barbarian, The Banshees of Inisherin, Glass Onion, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Beau is Afraid, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Saltburn, Poor Things, Priscilla, Saw X, Leave the World Behind
movies that one logged and not the other:
dan but not phil: 85
The Exorcist, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Home Alone 2, Schindler's List, Fargo, Romeo & Juliet, Hercules, Men in Black, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Mummy, The 13th Warrior, Fight Club, The Emperor's New Groove, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Legally Blonde, Monsters, Inc, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Scooby-Doo, 28 Days Later, Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, School of Rock, Matrix Revolutions, Saw, Shaun of the Dead, Shrek 2, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Revenge of the Sith, The Devil Wears Prada, Borat, Casino Royale, No Country for Old Men, Death Proof, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, There Will Be Blood, Tropic Thunder, Slumdog Millionaire, Moon, District 9, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The King's Speech, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Tree of Life, X-Men: First Class, Prometheus, Argo, Les Miserables, Django Unchained, World War Z, Pacific Rim, Under the Skin, 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle, The Babadook, The Lego Movie, x-Men: Days of Future Past, 22 Jump Street, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, The Theory of Everything, Green Room, Sicario, Spotlight, The Big Short, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Conjuring 2, Train to Busan, Hacksaw Ridge, Doctor Strange, Hidden Figures, Logan, You Were Never Really Here, Game Night, Isle of Dogs, First Man, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Suspiria, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Glass, Hustlers, Pig, Violent Night
phil but not dan: 86
Jaws, The Terminator, Beetlejuice, Die Hard, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Groundhog Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Leon: The Professional, The Usual Suspects, The Frighteners, The Sixth Sense, Being John Malkovich, American Beauty, The Green Mile, Gladiator, Catch Me if You Can, Elf, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth, The Prestige, Zodiac, Spider-Man 3, Iron Man, Juno, Lake Mungo, Twilight, Zombieland, Kick-Ass, Brave, Evil Dead, The Great Gatsby, Now You See Me, Monsters University, Man of Steel, About Time, Dallas Buyers Club, Edge of Tomorrow, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The Boy, Raw, Finding Dory, Suicide Squad, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, John Wick: Chapter 2, Lady Bird, The Ritual, Happy Death Day, Deadpool 2, Ocean's 8, Ant-Man and The Wasp, Bird Box, Booksmart, Crawl, Spider-Man: Far From Home, The Platform, Black Bear, Palm Springs, The Empty Man, The Innocents, Titane, Old, Free Guy, The Black Phone, Fresh, Watcher, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Ambulance, Aftersun, Crimes of the Future, Fall, Bones and All, The Menu, Sanctuary, Do Revenge, Smile, Hellraiser (2022), Mr. Harrigan's Phone, Plane, Missing, Infinity Pool, Past Lives, Knock at the Cabin, Scream VI
i’m interested to see how this varies by genre!
miscellaneous non-statistical things that made me parasocially emotional and/or laugh during this process:
they watched nope together on christmas eve 2022 <3
dan rated moulin rouge a 5 <3 nature boy <3
he also rated shrek a 5. of course. (valid).
4.5 from dan and 4 from phil from the notebook
5 from danny for brokeback mountain <3 and a 4.5 from philly
cmbyn, yes, has its issues, but dan rated 4.5 and phil 4
the shape of water got a 4.5 from monsterfucker phil lester (dan gave it a 4)
surprisingly phil rated rocketman higher than dan! surprising because dan liked so many musicals
dan gave hustlers a 3.5. i don't know why i think this is funny, but i do. phil doesn't have it logged or rated, lmao.
a 4 (d) and a 3.5 (p) for barbie!
phil gave twilight a 3. lol.
phil also gave do revenge only a 3.5. tragique.
phil watched a LOT of horror alone in october 2022 (aka while dan was on tour). anyway he's just like me <3
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multific · 5 months
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Hail Us
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Michael Langdon x Reader
Summary: A short Christmas tale.
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You moved to your knees in front of the cross.
You prayed.
You prayed for good fortune, for health and peace.
Hail Satan.
You prayed for your husband's plans to go smoothly. You prayed for your soul to be damned along with his. 
And in return, you will continue to praise your only and true Lord, Satan.
Hail Satan.
You already gave yourself and your entire life to his son, Michael.
You did so because of love.
As simple as that was. Love.
You stood up and took another look at the upside-down cross.
With a smile on your face, you turn around only to see Michael standing behind you.
"My father must truly like you. You pray and he gives. I feel as if he likes you more than me, his son."
"He sure has a soft spot for me. But I believe it is fair. I am his daughter-in-law and I help you achieve your dreams. No need to be jealous."
"I'm more jealous that you spend time on your knees praying to my father instead of me." you smiled as you moved over to him, running your fingers down his defined cheekbones.
"I'm rather hungry, can we eat?" your distraction always worked.
Every time you were hungry, tired or thirsty, Michael was immediately on his feet, ready to help you.
Michael made sure you had the best meals.
"What did you pray for this time?" he asked during dinner.
"For him to grand my wishes. For us to be together forever. For our future to be filled with death and pain. Just like I always do." 
"You are so perfect. I still can't believe they thought you wanted to be on their side."
"My future is by your side. They were only a stepping stone for me to find you."
Michael smiled, recalling his youth and how much pain it caused him, but ever since he found you, he was more than okay.
"Merry Christmas, My Love." he raised his glass and you did the same.
"Hail Michael Langdon," you replied with a smirk.
"Hail Y/N Langdon, the bride of the Anti-Christ. The witch who's name brings fear into everyone's soul. The woman who made me into a real man, to live to my potential and be who I was always meant to be. Hail us."
"I love you so much, Michael."
"And I love you, Y/N."
The snow was falling outside as you continued your dinner.
And indeed, what a Christmas it was.
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Taglist: @fleursirvart @greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster @capsiclesdoll @puknow @alwayshave-faith @alex12948 @lxdyred @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @praline357 @trshngyn @avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak  @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou @mandoloriancookie @noname2246
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
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greenwitchcrafts · 6 months
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December 2023 witch guide
Full moon: December 26th
New moon: December 12th
Sabbats: Yule December 21st-January 1st
December Cold Moon
Known as: Drift Clearing Moon, Frost Exploding Tree Moon, Moon of the Popping Trees, Hoar Frost Moon, Snow Moon, Winter, Aerra Geola, Maker Moon, Heilagmanoth, Long Night's Moon, Oak Moon, Wintermonat, Moon of the Long Night, Little Spirit Moon, Wolf Moon & When the Deer Shed Their Antlers Moon
Element: Fire
Zodiac: Sagittarius & Capricorn
Nature spirits: Snow, Storm, & Winter Tree faeries
Deities: Athena, Fates, Hades, Hathor, Hecate, Ixchel, Minerva, Neith, Norns, Osiris & Persephone
Animals: Bear, deer, horse & mouse
Birds: Robin, rook & snowy owl
Trees: Fir, Holly & Pine
Herbs: Bay, cedar, chamomile, cinnamon, English ivy, evergreen, fir, frankincense, holly, mistletoe, myrrh, pine & sage
Flowers: Christmas catus, holly & poinsettia
Scents: Cedar, cinnamon, frankincense, ginger, lilac, myrrh, nutmeg, patchouli, pine, rose geranium, rosemary, saffron, violet & wintergreen
Stones: Bloodstone, blue topaz, cat's eye, garnet, jacinth, obsidian, peridot, turquoise, zircon, ruby & serpentine
Colors: Black, blood red, gold, green, red, silver, black & white
Energy: Alchemy, darkness, endurance, death & re-birth, higher education, publications, reaching out to others, religion, spiritual paths, travel & truth
Today, December’s full Moon is most commonly known as the Cold Moon—a Mohawk name that conveys the frigid conditions of this time of year, when cold weather truly begins to grip us.
This full Moon has also been called the Long Night Moon (Mohican), as it rises during the “longest” nights of the year, near the December winter solstice. This name is doubly fitting because December’s full Moon shines above the horizon for a more extended period than most full Moons.
In Europe, ancient pagans called the December full Moon the “Moon Before Yule,” in honor of the Yuletide festival celebrating the return of the sun heralded by winter solstice.
Yule
Also known as: Alban, Arthan & Winter Solstice
Season: Winter
Symbols: Baskets of clove studded fruit, Christmas catus,  decorated evergreen trees, evergreen boughs, gifts, gold pillar candles, hung mistletoe, poinsettias, wreaths & Yule logs/small Yule log with three candles
Colors: Gold, green, orange, red, silver, white &yellow
Oils/incense: Bayberry, cedar, cinnamon, frankincense. Myrrh & pine
Animals: Bear, boar, deer (stag), pig, squirrel & tiger
Birds: Eagle, goose, kingfisher, lapwing, owl robin & wren
Stones: Bloodstone, garnet, ruby, alexandrite, blue topaz,  cat's eye, citrine, clear quartz, diamond, emerald, green tourmaline, jet, kunzite & pearl
Foods: Caraway cakes, cookies, eggnog, fruits, ginger tea, nuts, pork, spiced cider, turkey, wassail & lamb's wool (ale,  sugar, nutmeg & roasted apples)
Herbs/plants: Bay, bayberry, birch, blessed thistle, cedar, chestnut, cinnamon, evergreens, fir, frankincense, ginger, holly, ivy, juniper, mistletoe, moss, myrrh, oak, pine, rosemary, sage, valerian & yellow cedar
Flowers: Chamomile, poinsettia & yarrow
Goddesses: Alcyone, Aphrodite, Ameratasu, Bona Dea, Brighid, Cailleach Bheur, Demeter, Diana, Fortuna, Frau Holle, Frau Perchta, Frigga, Gaia, Hel, Great Mother, Idunn, Isis, Ishtar, Kolyada, La Befana, Maat & Tiamat
Gods: Apollo, Attis, Balder, Bragi, Dionysus, Divine Child, Green Man, Helios, Holly King, Horned one, Horus, Janus, Lord of Misrule, Lugh, Mabon, Marduk, Mithras, Odin, Ra, Saturn & Surya
Issues Intentions & Powers: Darkness, divination, light, messages/omens, purification, rebirth/renewal & transformation
Spellwork: Earth magick, happiness, harmony, love & peace
Activities:
• Set up & decorate a Yule altar
• Clean, organize & cleanse before decorating your home
• Make witch's balls to hang on your tree (protective & pretty!)
• Decorate & bless & Yule tree
• Stay awake until dawn to observe the cycles of nature
• Give gifts tomyour family & friends
• Donate your time or helpful items to charity
• Go caroling
• Hang mistletoe in your doorways
• Make Wassail
• Prepare a Yule Log
• Host a Yule feast
• Craft your own decorative wreath
• Decorate your house with Yule colored candles
• Welcome the Sun
• Go on nature walks & leave offerings to nature
• Meditate & reflect on the passing year
“Yule” comes from Old English geol, which shares a history with the equivalent word from Old Norse, jól. Both these words referred to a midwinter festival centered around the winter solstice, which traditionally marked the halfway point of the winter season. After the solstice—the shortest day of the year—the days again begin to grow longer, so it’s thought that Yule was a celebration of the re-appearance of the Sun &the fertile land’s rebirth. 
The celebration of Yule is one of the oldest winter celebrations in the world. Ancient people were hunters & spent most of their time outdoors. The seasons & weather played a significant part in their lives. The customs and traditions associated with it vary widely.
Scholars have connected the original celebrations of Yule to the Wild Hunt, the god Odin, and the heathen Anglo-Saxon Mōdraniht ("Mothers' Night")
Some believe it marks the rebirth of the Sun (the God) from the Earth (the Goddess) & the cold days of winter will soon begin to wane. The Goddess is seen in her virgin Maiden aspect
In towns and cities throughout Sweden during the Christmas season, large goats are constructed out of straw. It is thought that the tradition originated in ancient times, perhaps as a tribute to the god Thor, who was said to ride in a chariot pulled by goats. In Sweden the goat came to be associated with the Christmas celebration, and the Yule goat is now considered by many to be a companion or counterpart to Santa Claus.
Related festivals:
Christmas- An annual festival commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ as the son of God, primarily observed on December 25th
Hanukkah- A Jewish festival commemorating the recovery of Jerusalem & subsequent rededication of the Second Temple at the beginning of the Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid Empire in the 2nd century BCE.
Hanukkah is observed for eight nights & days, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, which may occur at any time from late November to late December in the Gregorian calendar. The festival is observed by lighting the candles of a candelabrum with nine branches, commonly called a menorah or hanukkiah. 
Kwanzaa- An annual celebration of African-American culture from December 26 to January 1st, culminating in a communal feast called Karamu, usually on the sixth day. It was created by activist Maulana Karenga, based on African harvest festival traditions from various parts of West & Southeast Africa. Kwanzaa was first celebrated in 1966. 
A Kwanzaa ceremony may include drumming and musical selections, libations, a reading of the African Pledge & the Principles of Blackness, reflection on the Pan-African colors, a discussion of the African principle of the day or a chapter in African history, a candle-lighting ritual, artistic performance & finally, a feast of faith (Karamu Ya Imani).
Saturnalia-
is an ancient Roman festival and holiday in honour of the god Saturn, held on 17 December of the Julian calendar & later expanded with festivities through to 23 December. The holiday was celebrated with a sacrifice at the Temple of Saturn, in the Roman Forum & a public banquet, followed by private gift-giving, continual partying & a carnival atmosphere that overturned Roman social norms: gambling was permitted & masters provided table service for their slaves as it was seen as a time of liberty for both slaves and freedmen alike.
 A common custom was the election of a "King of the Saturnalia", who gave orders to people, which were followed & presided over the merrymaking. The gifts exchanged were usually gag gifts or small figurines made of wax or pottery known as sigillaria. The poet Catullus called it "the best of days".
Other celebrations:
Feast of Epona-
Eponalia is the feast day of Gaulish Goddess Epona, the Divine Mare & in the time of the Roman Empire it was celebrated on December 18th.
Epona is known to be one of a very few Gaulish deities whose names were spread to the rest of the Roman Empire. This seems to have happened because Roman cavalry units stationed in Gaul followed Her & adopted her as their Patroness. This may have started because many of the cavalry troops were conscripted from Gaul as they were superb horsemen. From Gaul the Romans took Epona with them including to Rome where She was given her own feast day on the 18 December. They worshipped her as Epona Augusta or Epona Regina & invoked her on behalf of the Emperor. She even had a shrine in the barracks of the Imperial Bodyguard.
Hunting of the Wren-
A traditional custom carried out on the Isle of Man on the 26 December, St. Stephen's Day. It consists of groups of people going around villages and towns singing and dancing a traditional song and dance around a decorated wren pole.
The earliest and most common folklore story accounting for the origin of hunt the wren tells of a fairy/enchantress/witch whose beauty lures the men of the Isle of Man to harm, for which she is chased and is changed into the form of a wren. It is therefore in punishment for her actions that the wren is hunted on St. Stephen's Day
Sources:
Farmersalmanac.com
Llewellyn's Complete Book of Correspondences by Sandra Kines
A Witch's Book of Correspondences by Viktorija Briggs
Llewellyn's 2023 magical almanac: practical magic for everyday living
Wikipedia
Encyclopedia Britannica
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slytherizz · 5 months
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In The Shadow of Us - Sebastian Sallow x Female!MC/Reader
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a/n Scene from Chapter 11 of 'ItSoU' commissioned from the incredibly talented @diligentcranberry as a Christmas present to myself - It's so pretty I still cannot stop staring at my traumatised darlings. I never really shared much of my long fics on Tumblr besides the first chapters so here's some smut.
Chapter 11 Tags: Smut | Angst | Post-Azkaban!Seb | Enemies to Lovers | explicit sexual content | explicit language | forced proximity | Only One Bed (life sentence in Azkaban for me and my tropes)
You can read the complete fic on Ao3.
Chapter 11 under the cut...
The streets of Hogsmeade were deserted besides a small grey cat that scurried along the chimney stacks. Perhaps the return of Ashwinders to the area had scared most reasonable people to their beds. But neither she nor Sebastian had ever been reasonable people and they stood oddly calm in the night air outside the familiar tavern she'd apparated them to. 
“I don’t want to go back to Poppy’s - too dangerous. Harlow may be bold but even he’d think twice before darkening Sirona’s door,” she said with a tight smile. Sebastian recalled that first trip to Hogsmead and was pleased to know some things hadn't changed.   
She pushed through the heavy doors of the ancient pub. It was quiet. Where one would usually find patrons huddled in corners, playing cards over stiff drinks there were empty chairs. Where you'd see student that had sneaked out of the castle to drink and sing crude songs of their rival Quidditch teams until Sirona would shoo them out in the wee hours of the morning, there was silence. There would be no stumbling drunken feet of friends and young lovers up the long path to the castle castle tonight.
“Sirona?” she called and her voice echoed through the emptiness. The older witch appeared from behind the bar, her wand in hand as if she expected trouble to come knocking more than revelers these days.
“Oh, there’s a face I haven’t seen in a while. Hello, love-” her eyes landed on Sebastian with a look of surprise, but her eyes softened as she took him in. 
“Hello son, you look like you could use a drink,” she smiled. Sirona looked older, her hair peppered with grey around her temples the creases around her eyes more defined but her manner was familiar and Sebastian felt the tension leave his shoulders. 
Sirona like any good innkeeper, had that innate ability to sense your needs before you had a chance to voice them. With a flick of her wand two glasses of firewhiskey settled on the bar in front of her. Sebastian took a seat on the high stool and took a deep gulp from the glass relishing the burn as the amber liquid slipped down his throat. 
The witch slid into the space seat beside him and took a tentative sip from her own glass with a wince. She never had been able to handle her drink and he laughed slightly at her sour expression. 
"It's good to see you, Sirona," Sebastian said honestly. Sirona had always been kind to him. An aunt like figure to Sebastian and a shoulder to lean on more times than he’d care to remember. She'd seen him grow from a mischievous boy into a troubled young man, but unlike other she had never drawn back from Sebastian. Much like the pub itself Sirona was a constant pillar of support, always open when someone needed it most. 
Sirona poured herself her own glass, and topped up Sebastian's. She leaned back on against the counter on the opposite side of the bar her eye flicked between the two of them. 
"I won't ask exactly what event have led to you both being here tonight," she gestured between them amused "I know you can't tell me about your work dear, as much as I'd love to know the details - my guess it has something to do with Harlow."
"You're too perceptive for your own good, Sirona," the auror chuckled. "I promise, you'll be the first to know when this is all over."
"I hope so. Business has been dreadful, the inn is doing well but my bar sales..." she grimaced "Hogwarts is practically under lock down and even I'm beginning to miss the Gryffindor Quidditch team's terrible singing." 
"No one wants to be on the streets these days so most of my rooms are full. Unfortunatly, you'll have to share." The witch sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and looked at Sebastian nervously through her lashes. It wasn't like they had never slept together before. They had infact done a lot more together than sleep, it was almost amusing how this woman who had fought fully grown trolls at the tender age of fifteen, who had spent the last five years fighting dark wizards; yet Sebastian made her nervous and he luxuriated in the knowlege. He shrugged at her, as he schooled his features into an unreadable mask. Sirona's eyes flicked between them. 
The witch beside him stretched her arms as she yawned and wrinkled her nose at the dirt crusted under her fingernails. 
“It’s the usual place in the attic, dear. The bathrooms just down the hall,” Sirona smiled warmly at her. The witch finished the last dregs from the bottom of her glass, stifled a cough on her sleeve from the burn and slid off the stool to make her way upstairs. 
Sebastian tracked her movements across the bar before she slipped up the stairs. A knowing smiled tugged at the corner of Sirona’s mouth, her eyebrows quirked and he drowned the lump that formed in his throat with a deep swig from his glass.
“I must admit despite the circumstances - it's nice to see you both together again. You two were inseparable as teenagers and both so serious too. I guess with hindsight, I know why…" a sad smile deepened the creases around her eyes. 
"We bring out the worst in each other," he sighed with a shake of his head.
"I'm not so sure. Unfortunately, I think you both would be who you are no matter what. You both had to grow up far too fast, but I think you understand each other in a way others can't."
“Maybe we didn’t understand each other as well as you thought,” he grumbled. If she truly understood Sebastian wouldn't she have stood by his side after everything that happened but her words still rung in his mind -
I would care.
Sirona fixed him with an assessing eye, as if she was peeling him back. As if she could sense every hateful, lusty and confusing thought he’d had of the witch upstairs. Sebastian shifted uncomfortably under her gaze and she softened. 
"Not everyone gets a second chance at happiness, Sebastian. Don't waste yours."
Sirona said it like it was so simple. Like he could erase the last five years if he let himself. Coming from anyone else he would have hexed them. Sirona she met the world through the doors of this old pub, listened to everything from the lamenting of love sick teenager and world weary travelers who'd seen the darkest crevices of this world. He didn't know where his own problems fit in to that scale but he rolled it over in his mind.
A second chance. The words soothed his soul.
***
The summer at Poppy’s had done him good. Sebastian stared at his face no longer gaunt and hollow through the steamed up mirror of the small bathroom in the Three Broomsticks. If it wasn’t for the tattoos that covered his torso and crept up his neck he would barely think he’d been in Azkaban at all.
His clothes no longer hung off of him as he’d regained the strength and despite the nightmares that still haunted him nightly his eyes were no longer framed by dark bruises. The constellations of freckles that peppered his face and shoulder had returned in earnest, dark across his nose and cheeks. He adjusted his towel around his neck to cover the tattoo on his chest and placed his hand over the one on his neck.
This is who he would have been, if he’d never been to Azkaban.
He muttered a scourgify on his trousers before he pulled them on. Spells never made his clothes fully clean and not wanting to dirty himself further he left his dusty shirt in a the wicker laundry basket. Sebastian padded across the hall and hesitated in front of the door. He couldn't hear anything from beyond the door. 
With a long exhale he stilled his breath and rapped once on the door to announce his entrance.
She leaned against the windowsill her arms crossed over her thin nightdress. Her hair was loose from its braids and it fluttered in the warm summer breeze from the window. She watched the streets with a feline stillness, like an assassin on the roof alert and vigilant. Her eyes flicked up to meet his own as the door creaked, announcing his arrival. 
He clicked the door behind him but he could feel her eyes on him. Sebastian raised his eyebrows at her a small smile tugged at his lips at the way her eyes roamed over the bare expanse of his chest. The room seemed stiflingly small, the low vaulted ceiling left little space for more than the bed and a small nightstand. She was propped up on the windowsill, Sebastian leaned beside her and felt the warm air lick over his skin. 
She swallowed audibly and pulled her lower lip between her teeth. He see her from the corner of his eyes scan the bare expanse of his skin. 
"What do they mean?"
"You're an auror, I thought they would teach you this kind of thing?" Sebastian frowned. 
"No."
Sebastian moved in front of her her and caught her hand in his, admiring the way her chest swelled as she held in a tight breath. He brought her fingers to press into neck, his skin tingled under the featherlight touch.
“This is me. Prisoner identification number,” he supplied, as he turned so her fingers could glide down his spine "These mark each unforgivable curse, they found when the Wizengamot surveyed my wand."
Her nimble fingers traced each ugly black stain on his skin in turn. 
Crucio. Imperio. Avada Kadavra.
She lingered over each one, as if they were familiar like she knew they should decorate her own skin. 
Sebastian turned slowly back to face her and took her hand in his once again. Finally, he pressed her palm flat over the one on his chest. Directly over his heart. He knew she could feel how hard it pounded in his chest. Sebastian's face so close to hers, he could feel her stuttered breaths against his freckled cheeks.
"This is my sentence. Life In Azkaban." She sucked in a breath through her teeth. 
Sebastian didn’t want to explain the one on his wrist. The one he scratched at more fervently than the others. A particularly cruel form of punishment designed especially for him. When they peered into my mind, saw what tortured him most; It was always her. They’d inked her name in their ancient texts.
They stared into each other for what felt like an eternity. He waited for her to pull back, to recoil from him. Waited for his own body to do the same; to remember every aching moment of the past five years. But with her hand still pressed against his skin, her eyes boring into his own every rational thought burned away.
Sebastian wanted to be the version of him that stared back at him from the mirror. The one that did not bear the weight of the last five years. 
He let his lips ghost across hers.
Sebastian wondered if this was some new form of torture and this was some feverish fantasy of a man slowly dying in Azkaban. Or if they'd chained him to her on purpose, the only one who made him feel blood boiling hatred and blinding desire. A kaleidoscope of feelings, brutal, dirty and wonderful. To make him lose every rational thought in his body as her mere existence overwhelmed him before they ripped it away. 
She whimpered into the hairbreadth distance between his lips and hers. A pleasureful little sound that made some primal part of Sebastian practically purr with need. With one hand still pressed to his chest her other to wrapped around his neck to roughly pull his lips to hers in a feverish kiss.
Sebastian’s hands fisted into her hair, drawing her into him. The taste of her, the feel of her pressed against him made him feel like the world tipped on its axis. He nipped needily at her bottom lip and she gasped, granting him access to flick his tongue between her now parted lips.
She kissed him back feverishly, her own tongue collided with his own. He knew no one had touched her like this and it was like they’d both been starving. Her lips hungry against his own.
But he needed more.
In his desperation to feel as much of her as he could, hold her to him so she couldn't be stolen from his grasp Sebastian maneuverer her back until she collided with the wall. He pressed the entirety of himself against her, shamelessly dragging his hands along her curves.
He knew he was being rougher than he’d ever been as his hands groped every inch of her. But he was a man starved of touch for so long and he clung to her as if his very life depended on it. She seemed to crave that hardness as much as he did, as she ground her core against him where his leg had nestled between her thighs. Her fingers clung to his shoulders; her nails decorated half-moons amongst the splattered freckles. He hissed with delight at the pleasureful pain, as it broke through the numbness he’d felt for so long.
He grasped her chin to access her neck, to trail fire down her skin as he nipped at her thundering pulse. His teeth grazing every inch of her throat.
Sebastian snaked down the dips of her curves, to pinch and knead at her sides through the fabric as he worked his way to the hem of her nightdress. He slipped under her skirt to squeeze her backside and he savoured the vibrations in her throat against his lips from the groan that escaped her lips.
With how soft her skin was against his calloused hands he wanted – no needed to feel more of it.
She groaned in protest at the loss of his lips as he pulled the offending garment over her head. As if to stop their passions for even for a second would stifle the flames.
Sebastian stopped his assault on her skin to drink her in. His hands swept over the curves, fuller than he remembered, over the puckered skin of faded battle scars. In the soft lamp light, her hair unbound and wild, her lips swollen and her chest heaving she looked fucking exquisite.
She pulled him back into her roughly, her teeth knocked against his as her tongue delved into his mouth once more. Her fingers entwined in his chestnut hair, he shuddered as her nails scratched against his scalp. Sebastian hands resumed their assault, exploring ever dip and curve of her exposed flesh he’d devoured with his eyes. Intoxicated by the way her nipples pebbled as he grasped her breasts in his calloused hands. He captured the needy mewls that escaped her as he rolled them between his fingertips.
Sebastian trailed his hand between the peaks and down her stomach. His fingers grazed the sensitive spot between her thighs through the lace of her knickers. He chuckled against her lips as he slid his hand beneath the already damp material. Her folds were already slick and needy. Her lips didn’t say it, but her wetness told him she craved him as much as he did her. He stroked tantalising circles the small bundle of nerves, savouring every moan and whimper against his lips. He could feel her heart hammer in her chest. She ground her hips against his fingers as her eyes fluttered closed as a waves of pleasure crashed over her.
“Look at me,” he commanded. Her eyes snapped open to meet his own, she looked at him through hooded eyes “I want you to know it’s me - Who does this to you. Makes you feel like this.”
Her lips were parted as if she was going to respond but any words died on her lips as he slid a finger inside of her. Sebastian crooked his finger to find that spot inside of her that made her knees buckle. Her head lolled back against the wall with a throaty cry, barely held up by her weaked legs but her eyes never left his. He nipped at her throat approvingly.
Sebastian was achingly hard and strained against his trousers. He relished the friction of where his cock was rutted against her thigh. The scent of her own arousal coupled with the feel of his own was a heady concoction. He wanted to feel her climax under the entirety of him not just his fingers.
He withdrew sharply from her; a groan escaped her at the loss but Sebastian was quick. He unbuckled his belt and tore the leather from around his hips. His hands groped her perfect backside, as he lifted her up. She yelped in surprise, but her thighs instinctively squeezed round his middle. She kissed across his freckled face, and nipped at his earlobe as he carried her.  
Sebastian flung her onto the mattress and it creaked under her weight. He shoved off his trousers and underwear in one swift motion. His hard cock arching proudly, relieved to finally be released from the confines of his trousers. He prowled up the bed towards her and she lifted her hips so he could peel her knickers down her legs.
He ran his hands along her shapely calves and trailed his mouth along her stomach. He took her nipple in his mouth; he flicked his tongue over the bud whilst his hand re-found the bundle of nerves at her core. He circled it twice before teased two fingers into her entrance, she groaned and rutted her hips shamelessly against his fingers. She wanted him, her kiss swollen lips wouldn’t say it, but her body couldn’t lie.
She clasped at his freckled cheeks and pulled his lips to hers again. He growled with satisfaction as moved her legs apart expectantly. Caged under the full weight of him she wanted to feel all of him, between her legs.  
Sebastian aligned himself with her entrance and paused to savour the lusty look in her eyes. Sprawled out below him, bare and wild like a nymph from some Greek tragedy that would surely be his undoing. They would be each others undoing. 
She wouldn’t say it, but he knew he needed to hear it from her swollen lips. 
“Beg me for it,” he growled low in her ear, his nose burrowed into her tangled hair.
“W-What?” she stammered. Her pupils were blown wide, and he savoured the mix of confusion and lust that swam in her eyes. He knew she wanted him. He could feel it between her thighs. But he wanted her to proclaim it, to know he wasn’t mad to think this was something she didn't just want but needed; just desperately as he did. 
“I said - Beg. Me.”
“Please-” she murmured as her hips inched towards him.   
“You can do better than that,” he purred, as he teased his hardened length across her folds once more making her groan.
They both knew this was insane. But if he was going to succumb to complete blinding madness, throw all rationale away; then she was coming down with him.
“I want you- I need you inside me. Sebastian, please,” her fingers scratched across his freckled shoulders in a desperate attempt to pull him inside of her.
Sebastian practically purred with delight to hear her beg for the man she’d condemned. Satisfied he sheathed the entirety of himself inside of her with one strong thrust. Her eyes rolled back and her eyelashes fluttered as she arched her back as he filled her. The feel of her pulsing heat around him almost sent him immediately over the edge. He released a groan of his own, low, and deep.
This was not the tender explorative touches of teenagers it had once been.
With every deliberate thrust into her, he drew incomprehensible moans and pleas to deities from her lips. Her hips bucked to meet each stroke as she writhed under him. Her calloused fingers mapped his skin, over each tattoo along his spine. Each one a mark of the sordid past they shared. She traced every freckle in every impossible spot no one had seen but her. The sensation of each featherlight touch and rough scratch sent shivers cascading through him.
Sebastian’s mouth fixed on her neck, leaving red welts where he sucked at the skin like he could replicate the branding of her that marked his own skin. To claim what had always been his.
As he ground his hips against her and she arched her back in approval, Sebastian wrapped his arm through the vacant space below her. He hauled her up to leave more bites along her chest. His other hand fisted possessively into her hair as if he despite the impossibility he could be closer to her. Each frantic thrust brought incoherent curses and praise from her lips. He felt dizzy with how her hips jerked demanding as much of him as she could, with how perfectly he fit inside her even after all this time.
Her nimble fingers pushed his still wet hair from where it had dropped into his eyes. She pressed her lips to his to absorb the curses and moans he hadn’t even realised were spilling out of his own mouth.  
Sebastian caught her trembling leg behind her knee in a bruising grip to hitch it up. To roughly plunge himself deeper inside of her, she released a strangled cry of approval. Her legs were strong from years of fighting, but he admired the valleys and dips he created in the soft skin of her thighs with his fingers. Her breathing hitched becoming more frantic as the angle pushed her to new heights of bliss. Every rasped moan spurred the motion of his hips as he eagerly chased the sounds only he could draw from her.
He could feel her body begin to tighten and pulse around him in a way that was maddening. Sebastian was desperate to feel her peak, but his body had a mind of its own as he thrust into her desperately, he knew his own release build deep in his gut. The last coherent part of his brain not overtaken by an animalistic need guided his hand down her stomach to stroke her clit. The overwhelming sensation of his cock and his fingers had her keening and stuttering as she began to crest her peak.  
“Say my name,” his voice no more than growl, as he struggled to hold back his own release.
Amongst the other senseless words that escaped her she cried his name. Loud and desperate from her swollen lips; an intoxicating sirens call, he would follow willingly to a watery grave. She hauled him down to bring his full weight on top of her as she climaxed. The way she said his name, even when she was near delirious, practically vibrating as she rode her orgasm.
To know he was the one who made he feel like this. The only one who could make her skin feel like it was on fire. The only mans name she’d ever cried when her earth shattered.
He slammed into her hard and fast prolonging that feeling of ecstasy for as long as long as his own frenzy would allow. But the feeling of her trembling release, and the continued raspy gasps of his name made his hips faulter. His teeth bit into her shoulder to muffle her own name that slipped from his lips in a guttural moan as he released inside her.
Sebastian’s chest heaved as his heart rattled against his ribcage, as he came down from his own earth-shattering bliss. They stayed like that for a while, his head pressed into the crook of her neck, still inside her to the hilt. Every inch of his skin where they were connected felt like it was on fire.
He didn’t kiss her again.
Sebastian rolled off of her, and she whimpered slightly at the loss of him inside her. They lay there together, sheets tangled around their limbs their minds fogged from their shared ecstasy.
Her mallowsweet scent was on the sheets, on his skin; it soaked into Sebastian’s mind. It silenced intrusive questions that simmered in his mind about what they’d just done. He knew they would come; he’d have to face them eventually but for now he wanted to pretend things were different.
So, for the first time in years - Sebastian slept and didn’t dream.
***
Sebastian woke as the dawn light streamed through the curtains. Golden hues illuminated the witch still curled beside him. The sheets tangled around her doing little to hide the curve of her hips, her hair fanned out around her like a halo.
He groaned and rubbed his eyes. His brain felt loud as too many questions bubbled to the surface and made his head spin.
She stirred slightly when the mattress dipped as he climbed out of bed, but she buried her head back into the pillow. Sebastian released a relieved breath he didn’t realise he was holding. He needed to clear his head before he was ready to face her. He pulled on spare clothes from the nightstand Sirona had left out for him and slipped out the door.
It was the crack of dawn and Hogsmead was still very much asleep. He walked the empty cobble streets and tried to make sense of the complicated cocktail of emotions that bubbled in his chest. Sebastian seemed to be existing in a plane somewhere between self-loathing and infuriating yearning. 
Sebastian didn’t know what this meant for him, let alone for her. For them.
Could a version of them even exist anymore? Sebastian wondered if he even wanted it to. As much as he wanted to pretend the past five years hadn't happened they had and like a self fulfilling prophecy she had gotten under his skin, clouded all rational thoughts and distracted him from his mission once more. 
He’d began his slow plod back to the Three Broomsticks, resigned to the fact that he must face her eventually. He hadn't quite decided whether he wanted to pretend it had never happened or make her scream his name a hundred more times when a figure stepped into his path.
Sebastian froze, his hand instinctively reached for his wand. He cursed himself for being so wrapped up in thoughts of her that he’d left it in his old clothes. He squared his shoulders and met the amused stare of the stocky man in front of him.
“No need for dramatics, Sallow. I’m not here to hurt you,” chuckled Harlow. Sebastian should be shocked a wanted man like Harlow would appear so brazenly in the streets of Hogsmead. Maybe his own actions had last night had tapped him out and nothing could suprise him more than himself.
Much like Sebastian, months on the outside had brought a fullness back to Harlow’s face. Although no longer hollow cheeked his fine clothes did little to hide the ancient letters branded across his neck. But perhaps Harlow wasn’t trying to hide them, didn’t feel them burn into his skin as Sebastian did.
“Some how I find that hard to believe,” Sebastian ground out through clenched teeth. If it wasn’t for the knowledge that the auror would probably have to scrape what was left of Sebastian off the cobbled streets he would have launched himself at Harlow and tried to rip him apart with his bare hands.
“Come on now mate, we’re friends, aren’t we? Besides - I owe you, Sallow. With all our little chats, you’re the one who gave me my grand idea,” Harlow said with palms to the sky. His open face and arms mimicked the posture of a pious man of the cloth so at odds with the man Sebastian knew him to be.  
Sebastian’s felt the bile rise in his throat. What idea had he given him?
“I was thinking too small. Blackmail, bribery - why do all of that when I could be Minister of Magic? Wielder of dark ancient powers. Get revenge on the girl who locked us both away. Who could stand in my way? You understand don’t you, what it’s like to have that kind of power at your fingertips. What it would feel like to make them pay. Clever I admit, earning her trust before stabbing her in the back,” Harlow cast a wry eye over the collection of bruises that had formed below Sebastian’s jaw, and he chuckled. “She is a pretty little thing I admit. Don’t blame you for wanting to fuck her first.”
“You can’t get to the repositories. The goblins tried, it’s pointless-” Sebastian began. 
“I don’t need those repositories; I already have enough from what the goblins took to fix this,” his yellowed teeth broke into a wide smile, as he presented the pieces of the broken relic from the catacomb. That’s what Bettie had been desperately clutching to her chest “Then I can take her power for myself.”
The relic.
The one that could control the dead, dark magic and grant you any impossible desire if you paid it in blood. A man like Harlow would not be far pressed to provide it with a dark sacrifice it demanded. 
Sebastian felt a blood grow cold in his veins. Sebastian had spilled his secrets to the man beyond the wall and now they were all going to pay for it.
“I’ll see you round mate. Give her one for me will you,” Harlow winked. He whistled as he strode off through the vacant streets leaving Sebastian alone.
***
Sebastian stumbled back to the pub in a daze. His mind raced so fast he felt like it couldn’t remember how to breath and choked the air out of his lungs. Sebastian pushed into the attic room, desperate to feel his wand between his fingers, find the safety in his own magic.
The witch lifted her head woken from her slumber by his heavy footsteps. She greeted him with a sleepy smile.
No soft smiles could shake the panic from Sebastian’s bones. His jaw was clenched, shoulders stiff and his knuckles white where the ligaments in his hand strained against the door handle.
How can he tell her he’s the reason Harlow was after her ancient power. That he, however unwillingly, had given the man who’d designed his sisters pain all the tools he needed to spread it like a unstoppable poison.
This was his fault. He wondered if the world had always been right and Sebastian Sallow truly was cursed.  
She looked wounded at the frown that twisted his face and she drew the sheets tighter around herself protectively. Sebastian knows what this must look like. Like he must regret their night together. That last night was just one moment of madness.
She’ll think last night was a mistake eventually so why not cut to the chase. Save himself the pain of thinking he could be anything but cursed.
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