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sughuru · 5 months

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curses, its so bitter.

- geto suguru x reader

The burden of consuming curses takes an emotional toll on Suguru, elevated by the recent loss of Amanai Riko. As Suguru retreats into his own silent struggles, the caring intervention of their partner becomes a source of warmth and healing.

genres/warnings: angsty, fluffy, hurt/comfort, minor character death, spoilers for JJK season 2(?)

notes: got an exam tomorrow but i'm writing this instead 😭 anyways, enjoy!! i'm going to sleep now, gn (nah i'm going to study fr wml!) as always, english isn't my first language, so ignore the grammatical errors, sorry!

home | masterlist

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Exorcise. Absorb. No one else understands what cursed spirits taste like. It's like swallowing a dirty rag that’s been used to clean up shit and vomit. Geto Suguru believed that no one in this world understood what he was going through; maybe he’s right. After all, it's rare for a curse user to actually like the taste of it.

You knocked on his bedroom door, “Suguru?” your voice laced with a hint of worry.

Suguru remained silent, his form unmoving on the bed as he replayed the details of the earlier mission in his mind. The echoes of the mission played relentlessly in his mind, each moment etched with the bitter taste of failure. The weight of regret pressed upon him as he struggled with accepting the harsh truth – he couldn't save her. Amanai Riko; the girl had dreams, and Suguru couldn't forgive himself for failing to shield her from her doom.

You quietly entered the room out of concern for your boyfriend, “babe.”

You approached his lying figure, “you haven’t eaten all day…” you worriedly muttered, your hands reached out to touch his shoulder but he quickly turned around, his back was now facing you.

“Not hungry.” he replied briefly, you noticed the slight crack in his voice.

While you may have not been a curse user but you were well aware of his habits. Whenever Suguru ate a curse, the lingering taste of the curse would hinder him from eating actual food. Combining that and the death of Amanai Riko, he wallowed in grief and sadness with an empty stomach.

Of course, as the loving significant other you are, you refused to let your boyfriend starve or struggle for another minute.

“Don’t be like that…” You sighed, touching his back. This time, he didn’t flinch or move away. That’s good.

You gave yourself some time to think, “how about tea? I can make some tea for you right now.”

Suguru hummed, not having the energy to respond to you. Honestly, he felt bad for ignoring you like this. All he wants to do right now is pull you close to him and mutter apologies for being so…so emotional right now, but he doesn’t have the energy to do so.

You left the room and once again, Suguru was left alone in the room with his thoughts.

Was he being too harsh on you? Will you leave him because he’s treating you like shit right now? Is it wrong of him to be pushing you away like this?

So many questions yet none of them had a concrete answer.

You returned with a cup of tea in one hand, some leftover cookies you baked from trying out a new recipe. You set the cookies by the night stand, “I got your tea.”

He ignores you.

“It’s your favorite. Chamomile with a teaspoon of honey.”

Suguru shifted, facing you before mustering the energy and courage to sit up. His voice, hoarse and weary, as if he hadn't had a sip of water in days. "You... really didn't have to trouble yourself, really," he replied, acknowledging the concern you showed. The fatigue in his tone hinted at the toll recent events had taken on him.

“Nonsense.” she smiled, handing him the cup, “I enjoy taking care of you.”

Suguru managed to smile slightly, you noticed his eyes didn’t wrinkle like it used to, it no longer had that spark and his eyebags were more prominent. Of course you weren’t blaming him but you can’t help but feel sad realizing just how much his technique has been impacting him, especially after his most recent mission.

“Thanks.”

“Now,” she said as her hand slowly made its way to his free hand, “do you want to talk?” He sighs, “Okay.”

"I just–" he starts, "eating curses, it tastes like shit. I hate it, yet I have to do it," he says, his voice carrying a mixture of frustration and resignation.

“Worst part is,” he adds as he squeezed your hand, “the worst part is, when you eat real food, you think of the curse you most recently ate…making it taste like it.” he explains as he took a sip of his tea.

You stroke his hand with your thumb, reassuring him in your own way, “I’m sorry you have to go through that.”

Suguru’s tone changed into more of a hateful tone, “it's because of those…those monkeys. I have to eat their curses.” he muttered, “I hate them. Useless monkeys.”

“Monkeys?”

"Humans. Non-sorcerers," he explained, taking another sip of his tea. "Curses spawn through non-sorcerers' negative energy," he continued, his tone carrying a distinct bitterness, as if the very thought angered him.

Why the hell should Jujutsu sorcerers lose their life over something non-jujutsu sorcerers do? Why should they protect the weak, why should the strong protect the weak?

It angered him, the bitterness evident in every word as he expressed his frustration. "Not only are humans – monkeys, useless, but they're also the reason why Jujutsu sorcerers die on a daily basis. At the very least, if you’re useless, don’t make shit harder for us," he muttered with a tone that carried a mix of irritation and exhaustion.

You continued to hum, your thumb stroking his hand gently. Suguru rarely opened up about his true feelings. If anything, he played the role of everyone's therapist, ‘everyone’ being you and his best friend, Satoru.

Satoru looks for him after an earful from Yaga or calls him whenever he has no one else to try out the newest mochi shop that opened just around the corner. Suguru was also your rock; you'd go to him when you felt down or depressed, and even if you didn't, he always found out and looked after you.

Slowly, everything– being the therapist friend, Amanai Riko’s death, curse eating, school, it was all too much for him; instead of seeking you out and finding comfort, he chose to keep quiet, letting his negative emotions swallow him, making him feel like an empty seed.

“You know what else hurts?” He dryly laughed, “the fact that no one– well, almost no one noticed I’ve been quieter, I’ve been going out less and less.” He looked at you with hurt in his eyes, an expression you’ve never seen before.

“Shoko is busy studying to be a med student, Satoru probably could care less about how I feel, and you…” he looked away, “you’re probably only here out of pity.”

You widen your eyes, “Suguru, no, of course not.”

“Why?” he looks at you once again, “why did you come find me today?” Suguru asks, his eyes were looking for something in yours, an answer, perhaps?

You played with his fingers, tugging on them gently one by one, “you’ve been severely sad these past few days, Satoru, Shoko, me– hell, even Nanami and Haibara noticed as well.” You laughed dryly, “I couldn’t just sit here and leave you alone.”

Suguru pulled you into a hug, “thank you, love.”

You hummed, hugging him back before he suddenly laid back down onto the bed, turning the hug into a cuddle, “now, will you please try and eat something?” you giggled.

Suguru, who seemed to be feeling better smiled, “okay, maybe a bite of that cookie won’t hurt.”

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uwuwriting · 3 years

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Boyfriend w/ Megumi, Itadori and Gojo

Request: hii I just read your jujutsu nightmares piece and oh my god I am indeed a very simple simp and your writing just makes my heart go uwu so may I maybe req a very soft, fluffy s/o for Megumi, Itadori Sato and maybe Sukuna if you write for him? I hope it's not too much, thank uu <3 - anonymous

I can’t get enough of the JJK content, I love them so much my heart can’t take it. Sadly I don’t write for Sukuna *I think I mention it in my rules but I’m not sure*, he pissed me off big time in the manga so yeah sorry about that. Really all the curses have kinda pissed me off but that’s a story for another day lmao. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: boyfriend things lol, fluff, maybe some angst sprinkled on top but not a lot.

Fushiguro Megumi

-Megumi reminds me of Suna from Haikyuu.

-Like a lot.

-He will put effort in the relationship of course but he won’t flaunt it around in everybody’s faces.

-Yes he has a s/o and yes he is in love but in his book that should be mostly kept in between you two, no one else has to know.

-So at first your relationship isn’t really acknowledged by the others.

-It’s so subtle at casual that everyone around you thinks that you’re merely best friends and close to each other.

-Only Makki knows that you two are a thing since she sees how you worry and take care of him after he has been injured.

-It’s different from platonic concern and she knows what’s going on.

-Plus she saw you steal a kiss one time and that sealed the deal.

-Eventually the others figure it out and they are losing their shit, for completely different reasons though.

-Nobara can’t believe Megumi got a s/o before she did.

-Gojo is hurt because neither of you said anything and he has been trying to hook you up for the past two years now.

-Itadori is just confused because he thought that you were like that to everyone.

-Now PDA is non-existent with this one.

-He doesn’t feel comfortable touching you in public even if it’s a small peck.

-He prefers showing his love behind closed doors or through acts of service.

-So expect to find multiple bentos waiting for you in the kitchen each morning or a hot bath on the ready when you come back from a long mission.

-You are okay with the no PDA rule, your only request is that he at least hold your pinkie when you need it.

-It grounds you and who is he to say no to that?

-During missions he doesn’t underestimate your strength and let’s you do your thing.

-He only interferes when you ask for help or when he notices that you’re extremely overwhelmed.

-He doesn’t smother you and you are eternally grateful for that.

-Training sessions between the both of you are brutal.

-Neither holds back and you're left a panting, sweating mess at the end, crawling to your respective rooms to change before you settle for a movie later that afternoon.

-If either of you gets injured it’s mama bear time.

-You need to change your bandages? Megumi has already taken out the kit and all the essentials.

-He needs to take some meds to calm the pain in his ribcage? You have the pills in hand.

-He is a shy boy so even in private he hesitates to touch you.

-Don’t get him wrong he loves holding you and feeling you close to him but he is also afraid he will make you uncomfortable or overstep.

-So you will be the one initiating cuddle session during the first months of your relationship.

-After a while he will simply pick you up and carry you to his bed for cuddles if he needs them without uttering a word the whole time.

-Good morning/Goodnight kisses are a must.

-It’s a ground rule that he follows religiously since day one.

-It doesn’t matter if it’s a simple peck on his lips or a passionate kiss, he just wants to get a kiss before starting/ending the day.

-Sleeps on his stomach with an arm always draped over your waist.

-Isn’t really into the whole sleeping on each other thing but he won’t say no to being the big spoon or even better the little spoon.

-He gets flustered when you kiss his knuckles or trace patterns on his palms.

-He knows his hands are rough from all the training but after your touch they feel tender and gentle.

-Prefers indoor dates rather than outdoor ones.

-His favorite is cooking dinner together and then cuddling on the couch *in hopes you won’t get interrupted by Gojo*.

-The only thing he dislikes about the whole relationship thing is the teasing he receives from Gojo.

-He is ready to rip his ears off.

-Boy has murder on his mind 24/7 and it is all directed to his mentor.

-Gojo noticed that Megumi had you as his wallpaper ONCE and now it’s game over for your boyfriend.

-The thing is that you don’t get teased as much and he is *salty*.

Itadori Yuuji

-He is such a lovable boy, how could you NOT fall in love with him?

-Your relationship is naturally effortless.

-Everything flows so naturally and without even trying you two have formed such an unbreakable bond that not even Sukuna himself can tether even if he tried.

-Many MANY spontaneous trips to the nearest convenience store at 3 am.

-Oh you are craving some popcorn? Well go on, get your shoes, we are going grocery shopping.

-Won’t hesitate to do anything for you and when I say anything I mean it.

-He ditched Gojo once because you had bad period pains and said you needed cuddles.

-What cruel creature would he be if he denied his beautiful girlfriend her cuddles???

-Sukuna has cockblocked you two and has ruined your cuddles on multiple occasions.

-From weird noises to rude comments to interrupting Yuuji’s thoughts with random shit.

-Real party crasher.

-Yuuji’s love language is touch mainly so expect a shit load of hugs and kisses.

-Won’t let go of your hand while you are out in public.

-If he can’t hold your hand he will place his palm in the small of your back or wrap his arm around your shoulders/waist.

-It’s a physical need.

-He has to be touching you at all times because that reminds him that you are truly here beside him and that you are okay.

-The sorcerer's life has already taken a toll on his mentality and he hates leaving you alone so most of the time you go on conjoined missions.

-Unlike Megumi he tries to protect you during fights by all means.

-He doesn’t do it because he sees you as weak and in need of protection it’s just an instinct that he can’t control at all.

-He will put himself in immense danger, taking all the blows just so you can leave the scene unscathed.

-You have scolded him on his complete disregard of his own life and the tears that pooled in his eyes as he explained that his body moves on its own when he sees anything darting towards you, breaks your heart.

-If you kiss the little marks under his eyes all his worries fly out the nearest window.

-He forgets about everything around him, about the looming threat of his imminent execution, the only thing on his mind are your lips on his cheekbones and your thumbs rubbing circles on his cheeks.

-If you pepper him in too many kisses he will begin his own assault by first tackling you to the floor or the bed and capturing you in a hug before the smooches begin.

-He has a tendency to leave hickies on your neck which you struggle to cover each morning and you are always real close to glaring at him when he beams like the sun itself at you in the morning but your mild anger fades the moment his lips meet yours.

-You have your suspicions that he knows what he is doing with that, he knows his kisses make you weak so he uses them to his advantage.

-Will never admit it but it always places a small smirk on his lips every time you clutch his shirt for balance or rest your forehead on his shoulder to regain your composure.

-An I love you a day is required for good vibes.

-Won’t hesitate to shout it even in front of others, he just has no filter and no shame.

-Makes you turn tomato red and he snickers.

-Fuck him, literally.

Gojo Satoru

-This fucking tease.

-He has no chill!!!!!!

-How are you with him?!?!?!?!!

-My man fine af and he drinks his respect for y/n and y/n alone juice every morning.

-That doesn’t mean though he won’t try to fluster you throughout the day.

-It’s his main goal really.

-Full blown make out sessions in the hallways of the school, ass smacks in front of others and trying to leave hickies on your neck during your lunch break.

-It simultaneously pisses you off and turns you on so you can’t decide if you should smack him or jump his bones.

-It’s a never ending debate and his chances of getting the quawk quawk 5000 are 50/50.

-He respects your boundaries when you give him a sign that you really don’t want him to be like that on certain days.

-He is a very observant individual in general so it’s not hard for him to take note of the signs of pure discomfort or awkwardness.

-True he loves flustering you but the moment things get out of hand and you don’t feel okay with how he is acting, he is throwing his attitude out the window and becomes respectful Gojo in a flash.

-Likes having his arm draped over your shoulder.

-He is super tall so chances are he towers over you.

-He has used you like an armrest several times which resulted to a trip to Shoko for a dislocated wrist/shoulder.

-You make him bentos almost everyday and he waits for them like a lost puppy.

-No matter the time, he doesn’t care if he is late, he will wait for you to make him a little bento to take with him.

-Curses can wait, he needs to receive his first dose of y/n love of the day.

-Brags to his student about you and to Nanami, much to the blonde’s dismay.

-Talks everyone’s ear off.

-He becomes super protective when an elder shows up or at the mere mention of them.

-He will grasp your hand, keeping a firm grip as those pretentious fucks stare down at you.

-They really don’t care about Sato’s happiness and they will never show you a fiber of respect despite being chosen by the strongest sorcerer.

-You are not part of one of the three clans so you are worth nothing in their eyes.

-Gojo hates them for that.

-Deep rooted hatred that could turn into a mass murder if one of them call you a distraction or a slut one more time.

-You are really grateful for him in those moments.

-You are grateful in general but during those times when you are being bombared left and right with rude comments, he will remind everyone in the room that he doesn’t give a flying fuck about what they believe.

-He fell in love with you because you are your beautiful self and not because you are a powerful sorcerer.

-He wants to imagine your kids as a sign of your love and not as an item of power, as a weapon like many of these people see him.

-He has ditched the elder meetings on many occasions just because he wasn’t in the mood of listening to their bullshit so he came home to you and spent the rest of his night cuddled up under the large comforter, watching a movie while peppering your shoulders with kisses.

-Adores seeing you in his clothes.

-They are so big on you that you wear them as dresses around the house.

-He especially loves the sight of your bare legs peeking from underneath his black t-shirt.

-99% of the time this ends up in you getting your guts rearranged.

-Surprisingly remembers all the important dates and he makes it to as many dates as he can.

-Being a sorcerer is difficult man, give him a break curses he has a date at 8 and he needs to get his formal glasses.

-All in all he loves you to the moon and back and would do anything to keep you safe and next to him.

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @storage11037 @ezoyscorner @letscheereachotheron @wolfkid22 @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses @threeamwriting @ysatrap @yashinosakura @angel6786

1K notes · View notes

mercy-burning · 3 years

Text

Second Nature

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Spencer and Reader share some realizations after one of them has been kidnapped. Category: FLUFF + ADDITIONAL SMUT ENDING (18+) Warnings: Language, brief mentions of kidnapping and injury, bruising, sex (penetrative sex, protected sex, dirty talk, lowkey hand kink—i’m not sorry) Word Count: 6.1k

Full Request: “...Congratulations on your 1k! I have request for your celebration, if possible. Spencer/Fem Reader. Post prison Spencer, instead of him being taken by the cult, the reader is, making hi realize that she’s Love of life and they get together. Smut,preferred, if possible. Thank you.” — @dreatine

NOTE: I had a little conversation with @ssa-m-187 about a post which discussed that trope where Person A caresses Person B’s cheek, and then Person A leans into their touch and holds their arm to keep them there for comfort.. I mentioned that I might add it into one of my requests, and this is where it ended up! 😂❤

I also decided to add an alternate/additional smut ending in case anyone wanted only the fluff. It will be clearly marked when the smut starts if you choose not to read it!

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

***

Nothing bad ever happened to her. Spencer wished that was an exaggeration but it wasn't. In all the years he'd known Y/N, she was never kidnapped, no one she loved ever got kidnapped, and she never even got sick. Her moods were always visibly happy, no one had ever seen her with so much as a sprained ankle, and even bad hair days always seemed to escape her grasp.

So naturally, when she got taken by Ben's Believers, it came as no shock that Spencer was losing his mind.

Everyone kept telling him that they'd get her back, and that they all knew what to do, but it didn't stop the sinking feeling that weighed his heart down, far away from the surface where she was safe and waiting for him.

Guess it's safe to say, this whole situation stirred up some feelings he hadn't even known existed.

The first thing that came to his mind, aside from the initial shock of her being gone, was the first moment they met.

Y/N and Ashley Seaver had both been added to the team around the same time, and after losing Emily, the three of them had practically become inseparable. But that first meeting, the very second he laid eyes on her, it was something purely magical.

She was trying to open a jar of pickles in the break room, breathy and aggravated curses spilling from her mouth as if she were a sailor.

"Do you need any help?" Spencer asked, not intending to scare her.

But alas, she jumped, dropping the jar of pickles and causing it to shatter everywhere. "Shit!"

He offered to help clean it up, and she accepted, sighing about how everything she had was going to smell like pickles for at least a week. And once everything was picked up, she grabbed a pickle that had landed on the counter and took a bite, promptly saying, "Well, at least I got it open," with a mouth-full of pickle. "Thanks for scaring me, bud."

It was amusing to say the least.

And every time they'd gone out for food since then, Spencer made sure to order something with a pickle every time, just so he could offer it to her and hear her laugh about that day. Every time, she mirrored that moment, taking a bite and saying, "Thanks, bud."

Of course, back then he hadn't realized he did it because he liked her. He just thought it was nice to see her smile, to hear her laugh. That's what friends did, right? Made each other laugh?

That's what kept him going as they searched high and low for answers to get her back. Her laugh. It was there, replaying on a loop in his brain as if he could ever forget it.

And when he got her back, he vowed to make sure he made her laugh for the rest of time.

When they knew where to find Y/N, Spencer made it his mission to be the one who got her out of there. He wanted to be the one she saw when she was being rescued. He wanted to be the one who made sure she was finally safe again and out of harm's way.

And most importantly he wanted to tell her that he loved her. And he didn't want to spend another day without being next to her.

But first he had to get her out of there.

The second he saw her, it was like everything moved in slow motion. She was strapped to some type of mechanism that kept her hands at her sides and her head facing forward. And despite the fact that she'd never been held hostage, she looked very calm. She looked like exactly what the cult wanted her to be: a sacrifice.

It made Spencer's stomach churn. And it felt even worse when they moved in. Because everyone was getting down, and the cult leader jumped for Y/N, striking to kill.

The gunshot stunned him. He stopped in his tracks, hoping and praying that she wouldn't be hurt, and for one final time before he actually moved, he replayed her laugh in his mind. He briefly held on to the image of Y/N smiling at him without a care in the world before he inevitably saw her face to face for the first time in days, most likely without said smile.

But of course, the second it was safe and he ran to her side, she looked up at him and smiled anyway.

As Emily got the final restraints off of her, Spencer took a huge sigh of relief and welcomed Y/N into his embrace.

"Hey, bud," she breathed into his neck, letting him squeeze her tightly. He could practically feel her smile burning into his skin, tattooing itself there for all the world to see, and he squeezed her tighter, thinking of how he wouldn't have it any other way.

They clung to one another the whole plane ride home, curled up into each other and falling asleep after all the stress they'd been under. And it was no surprise to anyone that they even held hands while they did.

Y/N dreamt of him the entire time.

Specifically, she was remembering the day she almost quit. It would have surprised anyone to know she'd felt that way considering she never let her bad days show. But in those particular few months, she had really missed her family—and Ashley,—the cases were getting more and more stressful, and it all seemed to really take a toll on her emotionally.

But that one fateful day, she walked into the round table room, expecting to find no one since she always showed up early, and instead she found Spencer with a large wicker basket.

"What are you doing here so early?" Y/N asked, raising an eyebrow.

He smiled shyly. "Oh, um... I know your birthday was last week, and I feel bad I missed it since I was visiting my mom, so... I wanted to celebrate with you when we had a little bit of time."

He handed her the basket, and she marveled at all its contents, ranging from a few of her favorite books in different copies she hadn't owned, an array of her favorite candies, and most exciting, a jar of pickles.

"Oh, before you break the jar, I have something else for you," he said with a small laugh, pulling something out of his jacket pocket. "I've read that these are good for helping you open jars, and I even got myself one because we all know you're way stronger than me, so if you can't open a jar of pickles, I probably couldn't either..."

She would never know this, but in that moment he was kicking himself for being so awkward, even though the two of them had been friends for years. And he'd never know, but she hadn't even recognized it as awkward. She was incredibly thankful and endeared by his thinking of her, and it was the one thing that made her realize she could never quit her job.

She loved him too much too leave.

So she didn't. That morning she'd been planning on telling everyone her plans to find another job somewhere else, maybe closer to her family, and that night she walked out of the office feeling loved and thankful for her friends, and one friend in particular.

Currently, said friend was sitting quietly in the parking lot of her apartment while she dug up the courage to ask him inside for the night. Her plans consisted of sleeping in for as long as she needed thanks to a well-deserved few days off of work, and though Spencer would most likely return earlier, she desperately hoped she could convince him to stay.

It was quiet for a while and the lights in the car had long since turned off, leaving them in darkness as well as silence. Despite that fact, it wasn't eerie in the slightest... It was comfortable.

Even more so when Y/N reached over and grabbed his hand.

And then she spoke.

"Can... Can you stay? I'm fine, I promise, I just... I could really use some company, you know?"

"Of course," he answered almost too quickly. It made her laugh, and though it was small, he felt a weight lift off his chest at the sound.

The two of them walked up to her apartment in more of that comfortable, dark silence. The only light source to be found was within the dim lights of the hallway, though they'd made the walk so many times it was like second nature.

That familiarity followed them through her doorway, Y/N taking off her jacket and instinctively handing it over with her to-go bag, where Spencer's arms were already outstretched. He took them and removed his shoes, then transported their belongings to the chair in the corner of her living room, maybe five or six steps ahead from the entryway.

Y/N took a large breath and smiled as she flipped on the lights.

Spencer noticed, turning to her with a smile of his own. "Good to be home?"

"Mhm," she responded with a nod. "But you know what would make it even better?"

The knowing smile they shared brought warmth to her chest as he made his way to the kitchen, saying, "Peppermint hot chocolate, coming right up."

As her best friend made noise in the kitchen, Y/N padded over to her couch, flipping on the table lamp next to it and sitting down with an over-exaggerated humph. Her legs curled off to the side as she leaned against the armrest, taking a deep breath and breathing in the warm comfort of home, only amplified a little while later by the aroma of soft peppermint.

She could hear Spencer humming quietly to himself in the kitchen, the sound bringing a smile to her face. He always absentmindedly hummed her favorite song when he was making them food or something to drink, or even when they were just hanging out together in comfortable silence. She wondered often if he ever sang it to himself when he was alone.

And she was going to ask, but before she got the chance, he came up behind her with two mugs of hot chocolate. She took hers gladly with a smile that perfectly matched the warmth of the mug. And while she took the first sip as he walked around the couch and took his regular spot on the cushion next to hers, that warmth spread to her chest. She sunk into the couch as her eyes fluttered closed.

Beside her she could hear Spencer laugh. "That good, huh?"

"You're an expert hot chocolate maker, don't let anyone tell you any different."

Another laugh came from him, and the sound bought warmth to other places.

They sipped their hot chocolate together, once again basked in silence that was only disrupted by the distinct ticking of Y/N's cuckoo clock, a Christmas gift from Spencer one year after she'd mentioned how much she was oddly fascinated by them. It sat on the wall across from them, next to the TV and right above a DVD rack with her favorite movies. She stared at the clock fondly as she drank her way through the hot chocolate, and Spencer did the same.

Eventually they were out, and once their mugs were placed on either side table, they found themselves turning to each other with more of that second nature pulling them together like the moon pulling the ocean. Once their knees touched it was like the ocean dragged them under, only rather than suffocating, they found themselves breathing easier, like they were finally at peace.

The clock rung out, and only after it finished echoing did Spencer initiate conversation. He examined the bruise right under her eye, and once again the gravitational pull was too much, his hand reaching out to touch it with curiosity as well as concern. "Are you feeling alright? Do you need some ice or anything?" he asked softly.

Y/N felt her heart stutter at the featherlight touch of his fingertips, and despite herself, she blushed. "No, I'm okay. Better now that I'm home. With you."

His eyes flicked up to meet hers at her words, and the softness and genuine relief he found in them made him melt.

He moved to take his hand away, but Y/N reached up and gently grabbed his wrist, bringing it back to her face pacing his palm firmly against the whole surface of her cheek. He watched lovingly as she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand further, bringing her hand to wrap around his forearm and hold him there. And in that moment, he had to wonder if she could hear the loud, intense beating of his heart as it drowned out the clock's ticking.

"I... I was so scared," Y/N whispered, keeping her eyes closed. "I mean... In the back of my mind I knew you guys would come for me, but... That was... my first time ever being in a hostage situation by myself, let alone at all, and I..." She paused, stumbling on her words before exhaling a breathy laugh. "Those people were creepy."

Spencer laughed with her, his hand still resting on her face. When she finally did open her eyes again, she looked up at him through her eyelashes, and in that moment she looked so soft and vulnerable that he couldn't help but finally tell the truth.

In a whisper so soft she almost didn't hear it, he confessed, "I was so afraid that I lost you..."

"Yeah, but... You found me," she returned with a smile as she nuzzled into his hand further. "You always do."

Something in the way she said it made him bolder, and he realized then that that's what she always did.

She strengthened him, made him more bold and determined... And she gave him something to hold onto when he was lost. When things felt impossible, Y/N always said the one thing that put him back together and made him feel whole again, whether it was a few sentences, or in this case three little words: "You always do."

Completing him was her second nature, something he wasn't even sure she was aware of.

But now that he knew, he had to tell her.

"Y/n..." Spencer traced his thumb along the underside of her bottom lip, and he could have swore he felt her sigh out. He stayed paused, reveling in the way he seemed to have an effect on her, his thumb longing to slide further and trace her entire mouth.

Nevertheless, he continued. "You are... Everything to me. And I don't tell you very often how much your friendship means to me, but I... I can't keep going forward without you knowing just how much I care about you. Really, it..." He huffed a laugh, hoping he wasn't making an utter fool of himself and that she wouldn't push him away at this confession that was dying to escape. "It's embarrassing how much I love you."

He couldn't tell if it was exhaustion taking hold of him, or the relief he felt at finally getting that off his chest, but he held his breath as he studied her eyes, which were glassy like she was on the verge of tears. Her grip around his forearm tightened and she turned, kissing the inside of his palm and keeping her lips pressed there for what felt like forever, until he started to feel his skin go numb. Realistically he knew it was only a trick on the brain, how such a simple affectionate gesture like that had the most heart-swelling and mind-numbing effects on him because of how much he loved her.

But damn it, he didn't care.

She murmured his name into his palm, and her eyes flicked up to meet his again. That's when he noticed a tear fall from her eye and down her cheek, right into the side of his thumb.

Finally, she responded, "I love you, too, Spencer. I... I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to tell you, but... After what just happened, I don't know if I could ever spend another day without loving you."

His heart absolutely burst at the seams, warmer than before, and most certainly not from the hot chocolate. That warmth only spread, turning into a raging wildfire when she let go of his hand and moved forward, practically tackling him and wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him and pressing her face to the crook of his neck. His arms wrapped around her back, hugging her close as she straddled him and continued to nuzzle into his skin, his presence...

They held each other like that for a good minute before Y/N finally gained the courage to pull back and look into his eyes. They were just as glassy as hers, just as filled with love and comfort and home as she could ever have dreamed. Her hands slid down to rest on his shoulders for a moment before one of them cradled his face.

And then she kissed him.

She knew he loved her, he told her as much, but in case this was already going too far, Y/N kept it light and hesitant, desperately hoping it wouldn't make things weird.

But of course, there was nothing to worry about. And Spencer showed her that as his lips pressed deeper into hers, his hands on her back pushing her closer to him and seeking as much contact as possible.

She brought both of her hands to gently run through his hair, and at the sigh he let out against her mouth, Y/N tugged harder, pulling herself up so she could get into a better, more comfortable position on his lap.

They shared peppermint hot chocolate kisses until the clock rung out again, both of them pulling away with a little surprise.

"Has it really been an hour since it last went off?" Y/N mused in a whisper, taking in the swollen state of Spencer's mouth. The sight sent a course of butterflies through her stomach.

"I guess it has... It's um... It's late, maybe we should get some sleep."

"Only if you come with me," Y/N offered, running her fingers through his hair once more.

Spencer nodded with a small smile, his thumb tracing the bottom of her chin. "Of course."

They pulled themselves off the couch and, hand-in-hand, navigated their way to her bedroom. And even though they'd never actually done it before, sleeping in her bedroom together, the whole journey was so familiar it was like they'd done it a million times over.

SMUT ENDING BELOW

Y/N didn't know what time it was, only that the sun was brightly peeking through her sheer curtains, basking her bedroom in a warm glow that made it almost impossible to be comfortable under the covers. When she moved to take them off of her, she felt a hand snake around her waist, pressing firmly against her lower stomach and holding her in place.

"Are you awake?" she asked aloud to the air, softly in case Spencer was, in fact, still asleep.

"Mhm," he mumbled behind her, his breath softly fanning out across her shoulder. "Have been for about an hour."

"You could have woke me up," she said, turning around to face him. His hand lifted and then settled on her shoulder when she was in position.

"You deserved the rest," is all he offered in explanation as his hand gently brushed the hair from her shoulder. It tickled as it fell behind her, dropping off her body and across the back of her neck. Spencer trailed his fingers lightly up her neck until they reached her ear, and then he trailed them back down and over the curve of her shoulder, and then down her arm. He continued this and smiled as he took notice of the goosebumps that formed all over her skin. The thin tank top she'd changed into before bed left most of her exposed, each little freckle and hair that adorned her skin on display in the warm sunlight.

Meanwhile she smiled, heat slowly rising to her cheeks as she recalled their kisses on the couch. Needless to say, her dreams that night were rather scandalous, something she wasn't unfamiliar with, though given these new circumstances she was more than a little hot right now.

Spencer noticed, his hand halting its movement on her skin and resting itself on her waist over the blanket. "You're thinking about it, too? Last night?"

Y/N looked him in the eye and swore she saw them dilate when she responded. "Yeah. Among other things..."

"What... kind of other things?"

She would have told him, but since it was obvious they were both feeling the heat she bit her lip instead, a teasing look in her eye. "You're a smart man. You tell me."

"What if I... show you instead?" he whispered, his voice broken and obviously a little shocked that this was finally going to happen.

"Take it away, Doc."

His first kiss was sweet, reminiscent of the first one they shared on the couch, and his second was a little deeper. Y/N gave her stamp of approval by sighing, bringing a hand up to play with his hair again, and it was the trigger that shot him forward, his lips working hers with more passionate, methodical precision. Meanwhile his hand dipped under the covers and pressed firmly at her back, slipping under her shirt and bringing her closer.

She wrapped her leg over his waist, pulling herself forward to get as much contact as she could while he swiped over her bottom lip with his tongue. The small whimper she let out at his kisses made his hips buck forward involuntarily, to which Y/N clenched her leg tighter around his waist and tugged a little harder at his hair.

He tipped them over then, rolling so that he was hovering over her while their kisses only grew needier. His hand slipped under her shirt, feeling the expanse of her stomach and her sides. The low hum that came from her throat at his touches drove him half wild, so he boldened them, slowly sliding up and up until he reached her bare breasts. Her legs came out immediately and hooked themselves around the back of his thighs as she whined at his touch.

With curious kneads of her chest and even more exploratory kisses that were reciprocated with an equal hunger and passion, it didn't take long for Spencer to feel his insides churn with a desire that could possibly never be satiated. Even if Y/N was the one who kept him whole, he also knew she would be the one to completely wreck him to pieces. He'd rarely ever felt this type of desire before, especially not towards someone who took up every crack and crevice of his mind at any given moment. And now that he had it, he never wanted to let it go. She was going to utterly ruin him, and he'd never been more welcoming to that type of damnation—the type that was also his salvation.

Because she was everything all at once, devastatingly beautiful in every imaginable way.

Her hands tugged at his tee shirt, punctuating her urgency with a needy little whine into his mouth. He pulled back then, tugging off his shirt at the expense of taking his hands away from her. But from his higher position now, he took her in in all her wild glory, lips swollen and a little red, hair splayed out across the pillows, and her breathing visibly heavy. Even with the bruise under her eyes, she was the most breathtaking person he'd ever seen. She marveled up at him, willing her gaze to trail down his chest and stomach, her bottom lip tucking itself gently between her teeth as she stared at where his sweatpants hung low on his hips.

Y/N reached out and grazed her middle finger across the waistband of his pants, gently feeling the fabric and his skin at the same time. He was still, continuing to watch her explore his body the way he'd done hers, always amazed at the curious look in her eye— the one that was now swimming in a pool of lust. Her hand trailed upwards, feeling the soft planes of his torso until she couldn't reach any higher.

"Having fun?" Spencer mused with a smile as she rested both her hands on either side of his waist.

She sat up then, pressing a kiss to his neck while her hands travelled south, under the waistband of his pants. He sucked in a breath as she palmed him through his underwear, gently nipping his shoulder before she answered. "Oh, I'm having so much fun."

He was going to say something, but words escaped him as she sat up on her knees and continued tracing the outline of his dick through his underwear. He was painfully hard in an instant, a fact at which Y/N gave a low, amused laugh. Once she found the underside of his tip, she gently rubbed it through the fabric with her thumb, and the broken whine that he let out delighted her in every way. Her tongue traced his collarbone and the contours of his shoulders and neck until she reached his jawline. She licked him there too, humming as her thumb worked faster at his dick.

"Mmm, I've wanted this for so long," she told him softly, bringing her lips up to his ear. "Do you know how many times I've thought about us? Dreamed about us?"

"Not as many as me, probably," he choked out with a small laugh, audibly trying to keep it together as his stomach burned with every languid stroke of her thumb over his most sensitive point.

Y/N returned his laugh and sensually kissed his jaw before saying, "I doubt that." Then she dragged her mouth up to his lips and brought her hand out of his pants so she could thread all her fingers through his hair. Though they were kneeling, he was still taller than her, so his hard erection pressed firmly against her stomach as he brought her closer, gripping her hips and melting into her.

When his right hand slipped into her sleep shorts, she whined out and pressed herself harder against him, reveling in the way the heat from his hand practically burned into her ass. He kneaded her there as well, groaning into her mouth when she tugged on his hair and turned her head to deepen their kiss.

It was obvious that she was trying to feel some type of friction— her knees were willing her to get up higher, to feel him hard against her, but alas she wasn't able to reach. She showed her frustration by whining into his mouth and trying to pull herself up, the pressure of her arms around his neck getting stronger with every passing second.

"Spencer pulled away laughing a little, removing his hand from her shorts and bringing it to the front, dragging along the inside of her thigh. "Is there something you want from me, pretty girl?"

The nickname sent a fire through her veins that set off every smoke detector in her brain, the alarm coming out in the form of a whimper. "I want to feel you inside me," she whispered, nuzzling her nose to his and reaching down to guide his hand farther up. When his middle finger breached the fabric of her shorts, she whimpered again, willing herself closer to him. "Please, Spencer."

He hummed lowly, drawing circles into her skin. "Are you prepared? Like, do you... have condoms or anything, do we need one?"

"I have some in my top drawer if you want me to get it," she said quickly with a nod.

He laughed a little, amused at her eagerness, before pulling away from her and helping her off the bed. Once she was feet-first on the ground, she strode over to the dresser where she opened a small drawer on the top left and rummaged through it. Meanwhile Spencer followed her and came up behind her, pressing his front to her backside and making her tense. He brushed her hair aside and brought his lips to her neck, his hands resting at her waist.

She slowly rolled her hips against him, sighing out when his hands gripped her tighter. One of them slipped down into her shorts again, this time coming around front and resting over her clothed pussy. His fingers explored her like hers had explored him, teasing her in the same way that made her want to burst into flames.

"So wet already, pretty girl..." he mused, sighing and attacking her neck with more kisses. "I bet I'll be able to just slide right in..."

She outwardly moaned this time, clutching a condom in her hand and then slamming the drawer shut. "Alright then, Mr. PhD, why don't you put that theory to the test?"

He loved how eager she was, and a little impatient. Something told him that if he teased her enough, she might have just begged him for anything. But he didn't want to do that right now. No, right now he was planning on showing the love of his life just how much she meant to him. He was going to give her everything he had, and then some.

So he turned her around and kissed her, walking them backwards until his legs hit the foot of the bed. He almost went down, but before he could, he turned them around again. Y/N's body hit the bed, her legs immediately opening for him to stand between them. Rather than leaning down to kiss her again though, Spencer ran his hands tugged lightly at her shorts, to which Y/N gladly lifted her hips and allowed him to pull them off. Her underwear weren't too far behind, and then she lifted her shirt over her head, tossing it aside and leaning back on her elbows.

Seeing her fully bare like this was enough to drive him mad, but he held on, spreading her knees apart and sliding his hands along the insides of her thighs. "Y/N, you're perfect..." As he marveled at her and showered her with love and praise, he slid his hands further and further up her body until they reached her arms.

She helped him remove his pants and underwear, and once they were off, Y/N tore open the condom and handed it to him. He rolled it on and then leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. Then her temple, then her cheek... Then he pressed the softest kiss to her lips and looked her in the eyes. "You really want to?"

She smiled at him and nodded, bringing one of his hands to her entrance and pressing his fingers to the wetness that pooled there. "You feel how bad I want it?"

He groaned and kissed her then, circling his middle finger over her clit and making her cry out against him. After a few more seconds of this, Spencer positioned them at the head of the bed and angled his hips forward, the head of his dick coming in contact with her pussy.

He slid in slowly, reveling in every pure, blissful second that went by as he gradually became completely enveloped in her. Once he was buried to the hilt, Y/N threw her head back and bit her lip, her hands reaching out to play with his hair again. He ground himself into her for a few seconds before pulling back and then starting a slow, steady rhythm.

"God, Y/N, you feel so good... So... perfect for me."

"Funny, I was just going to say the same thing about you," she breathed. Her eyes trained themselves on his, and though there was a lot of love there, she saw something else that she recognized, something hesitant. It was close to the same look he gave her last night, after she'd explained to him that she was fine after he examined her injury.

He was going easy on her. But she wanted more.

Y/N reached up to tug his hair gently, biting her lip and batting her eyes. "I'm not made of glass you know... You can fuck me harder if you want to."

Everything from the look on her face to the way she said it to the way she clenched around him as she did made him half feral. He smirked at her without thinking, a natural reaction to her challenge. "Oh, you like it a little rough, huh?"

She smirked back at him and nodded, tugging his hair harder. "Uh huh."

Though he started fucking into her harder, his pace remained slow, accentuating each rough thrust with a huff through his nose. Y/N's mouth opened involuntarily, the power of his movements rendering her almost speechless. Eventually though, she let out one large moan as her fingers even further tightened their grip in Spencer's hair.

Taking note of her reactions, he felt pleased with himself. "You like that, don't you, pretty girl? You like it hard and deep..."

Her hands dropped from his head and rested at the sheets, gripping them instead as he worked his hips a little faster. "Y—yes, baby, I fucking love how hard you fuck me."

The words tumbled out of their mouths so easily, each syllable spoken with the right amount of lust and truth, it was like their conversation was a dance. Their bodies and their words melded together in a perfect number that brought them further towards the climax.

But, as every dance does, their needed a little flourish.

Spencer reached out and caressed her cheek again, his thumb going straight to her lips. Y/N opened her mouth and sucked it in, swirling her tongue around it and groaning at the way he bit his lip when she did so.

"Fuck, pretty girl, you're gonna ruin me if you keep that up."

She smiled at his words, which allowed him to press his thumb flat down onto her tongue. Her mouth remained open as he held it there, her pants and moans coming out clear as day. And as if that wasn't hot enough, she batted her eyelashes up at him, and he fucked her even faster, both of them starting to feel the signs of impending orgasm.

He could have kept his thumb in her mouth forever, but to aid her in pleasure, he removed it, dragging it down her chin before bringing it to her clit and rubbing in tight circles.

"Fuck, Spence, that's it," Y/N moaned, looking down between their bodies and almost losing it at the sight that beheld her. "Don't stop, don't fucking stop!"

He leaned forward to kiss her then, the new angle finally bringing her over the edge. She cried out into his mouth as it explored her own, soaking up all the sounds she made and using them to fuel his own release.

They came together, and it felt like years of tension and anticipation and love finally culminated into one giant explosion that enveloped them whole. It felt like, for a moment, nothing else in the world existed, only Spencer, Y/N, and their palpable connection that felt very much like a home in and of itself.

Even as they came down, their breathing slowing down and their touches becoming gentler, that explosion quieted right alongside them, an echo of love and warmth lingering in its wake.

Spencer pulled out and laid beside her, reaching out and gently touching the bruise under her eye. "You okay?"

She couldn't help but laugh. "Yes. I'm more than okay... I'm perfect."

He smiled at her, pure, true comfort settling in his bones. It was a rare feeling, but he was glad that it came with her presence. "Me, too. And I... I meant what I said last night, Y/N, I... I love you. More than words could accurately describe."

Her heart swelled at his words. "I love you, too, bud. More than anything in the world."

He contemplated for a minute, a smile forming as he said his next words. "More than pickles?"

Y/N threw her head back in a boisterous laugh that made Spencer's heart beat a little faster, before playfully hitting his harm and snuggling up next to him. "Yes, definitely more than pickles."

"Good. That would have been embarrassing."

"I don't love you more than peppermint hot chocolate, though. Or that cuckoo clock."

Spencer pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, but I got you those things, so technically that means you have to love me at least as much as them..."

"Okay. That's fair, I'll give you that one."

With an over-exaggerated, "Phew," Spencer smiled and pulled her closer, the warm sunlight from the windows giving him the most clear view of their legs tangled together over her lavender-colored comforter. It was so domestic, so perfect and loving and real that he never wanted to forget it.

He was thankful that he never would.

***

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @s1utformgg @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666

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If you would like to be added to the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment, and I’ll add you!

#mercy 1k celebration #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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viva-la-rebel · 3 years

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Goodbye

Hey everyone- this is my official goodbye for tumblr. This site has made such a huge impact on my views and life. I applaud tumblr for letting me explore not only myself but the (mostly) wonderful people on it. It was thru this site I realized I was bi. I made tumblr friends and got to explore my writing. Some of my favorite shows I started because of stuff I saw here.

However, as much as this site holds a place in my heart- I’ve outgrown it. I came on to the site at 15 on the day of Mishapocolyse (yeah that was my first impression). I’m in my 20s now and have a house and a dog and this just doesn’t have a place in my life anymore.

And, I have to say it, tumblr has a at times been a toxic place. I remember in my first months of tumblr, literally not knowing anything, I accidentally reposted art without credit. I was flooded with hate comments, telling me what a shitty person I was. I deleted it and reached out to the original creator and apologized. While the creator was nice enough, it did show me the first ugly side of tumblr.

A few years later I did a cute little thing where if you reblogged a post I made, I would give you a good message or something. Most messages I got were so wholesome, but there were others telling me how irresponsible and bad of me it was to do this because I would never get to everybody. I was trying to do a nice thing and it still wasn’t enough and was turn into something bad. (And I did get to everyone so fuck you).

I also made a supernatural video (ah yes my first hard core fandom RIP) and tagged it with some characters it didn’t focus on. The amount of hate I got was horrible. I had strangers telling me to literally kill myself over a shitty fan-made video I made at 17.

While the majority of tumblr is a great place to explore, too many of its users don’t want to have adult conversations, y’all want an echo chamber. If someone don’t agree or makes a different point (IN A RESPECTABLE WAY MIND YOU)- they are toxic and told to fuck off. I promise you- no matter what fandom or community you are in, it has toxic people. They only want to be told they are right and do not want to think but do as they are told. Do not be this person, that is not the way the world works. Even if you and some else agree on 99.9% of things, there will always be something you don’t. Be adults and have conversations.*

*this is not me saying any phobic or racists people get a pass on their views- y’all are the worst kind of trash. This is more about views on regular things

While this site has made me happy, it’s also taken a toll on my mental health (something people who post here preach about yet rarely hold themselves accountable for causing mental stress). I was so worried about making fucking strangers mad that I would have anxiety for days. Some of you are so busy calling out other people that you fail to look inwards and see who you are and what toxic traits you have. Ive people literally run off this site and told they are shit because they didn’t update fan fiction regularly! Fan fiction! A free fucking sometime a book-worths of story for you- for free! And they are told they are shit because they have lives outside and they don’t update at the exact time they promised.

I’ve seen this site grow wholesome communities. I’ve seen friendships made on this site. I’ve seen so many amazing pieces of art and beautiful writing. I’ve been lucky enough to talk to some really great people. But I’ve seen this site literally cause real world harm. I have seen this site turn people hateful, I have seen this site make people fearful of making one mistake. I’ve seen people such down, I’ve seen people afraid to speak up.

On a last note: just because you are liberal, and think everyone deserves rights, pro-choice, all that stuff (which I totally agree with) it does not mean you are a good person. You can be a bad person with liberal views. You need to be a good person to those around you first. Evolve and learn.

I know this post won’t mean much in the grand cesspool that is this site but to those who it reaches- this site is not the end all be all. Your true friends, who listen to what you have to say- they matter. Your chosen family and friends- they matter. So if you see someone getting hate, speak up because if someone did that for me- I might leave this site with a better taste in my mouth.

✌🏻bye yall

#tumblr #toxic people #toxic tumblr #goodbye #peace out #and honestly fuck 94% of you

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soundsof71 · 3 years

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FIVE ALBUMS YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

aka, My Top 5 of 2020, but I didn’t want to seem too retro!

Yep, I have a classic rock blog. Yep, I think that the best rock and roll in history is being made RIGHT NOW. And yep, ALL of it is being made by women.

(Shown at top, Nova Twins by Ant Adams [x] and The Tissues by Michael Espleta [x]. I was planning to make a collage of all my faves in concert, but not all of them were able to play in 2020. Both of these photos are pre-pandemic.)

There’s been quite a bit of movement on this list, and all five of these have spent some time at Number 1 as the year has done (gestures broadly) All This™. Anyone looking for rock and roll is going to dig any of these.

Rocking out is just the start of it, though. Wrestling with my bipolarity and schizophrenia is tough on a good day, and there haven’t been too many of those lately. The plague has also taken its toll around me, with two family members dead and a third who’s doing better, but will likely never be all the way back. (Mask up, kids!)

I’ve written plenty about how deeply Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers have moved me this year (and will do so again), but in those rare stretches where I’ve had enough spare energy to listen to music at all these days, I’ve mostly been looking for more than beautiful music. Heavy times need heavy lifting, and I find that in heavy music.

The five albums here have all helped carry me, pointing the way toward light.

1) BULLY, SUGAREGG

Alicia Bognanno is a force of nature as a guitarist, vocalist, composer, and producer/engineer. (While working on her degree in audio engineering at MTSU, she interned with Steve Albini, who remains both a fan and an admirer). A Nashville transplant from Minnesota, she’s still a natural fit in her home on Sub Pop: as heavy as Soundgarden, as hooky as Sleater-Kinney.

I was blown away hearing her searing honesty while working through her discoveries of her bisexuality and bipolarity (double bi!), and her triumphant roar lifts me out of my seat every time I listen.

“She sings the hell out of [these songs], her voice fraying to the point of combustion every time she launches to the top of her range. This is phenomenal music for converting anger and anxiety into unbound joy.” ~Stereogum, Album of the Week

Also, check this fantastic interview with Alicia in the New York Times talking about what she’s gone through to get here.

TURN IT UP!

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2) GANSER, LOOK AT THAT SKY

Ganser syndrome is a rare dissociative disorder characterized by nonsensical or wrong answers to questions and other dissociative symptoms such as fugue, amnesia or conversion disorder, often with visual pseudohallucinations and a decreased state of consciousness. ~Wikipedia #it me

‘Just Look At That Sky’ doesn’t presume to offer solutions; it’s an honest document of what it feels like to wade through anxiety, day by day, not a survival guide or handbook of answers none of us actually have. Whether or not you pay attention to this, Ganser are simply one of the most invigorating, exciting new bands. ~Clashmusic

I saw one very positive review compare Ganser to a cross between Fugazi and Sonic Youth, but I think they hit much, much harder than either of those. And as you can surely guess, I also deeply relate to their themes of mental illness and dissociation while trying to make it through All This™. But my god, are they TIGHT. This is a BAND.

Ganser has two fantastic lead vocalists, and on “Bad Form”, bassist/vocalist Alicia Gaines wrote the song for the voice of keyboardist/vocalist Nadia Garofolo. Alicia also wrote a FANTASTIC essay on the strains that making an album during a pandemic puts on the mental health of the entire band at talkhouse: “Writing, recording, reaching out, balancing relationships outside and within the band, I found (and still find) myself under-rested and agitated to no particular end. More than not doing enough, I was not enough.”

(If you can’t relate to that, I can’t relate to you, tbh.)

This video also does a fantastic job of showing dissociation. TURN IT UP!

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3) THE TISSUES, BLUE FILM

“Blue Film” is a ten-song shot of dagger-twisting electro-(s)punk. It’s completely addictive from the very first listen. The tour de force is “Rear Window”, an art-punk masterpiece of slashing guitars and mad caterwauling. Copious doses of jaunty poetics and social commentary reward the earlooker patient enough to untangle Kristine Nevrose’s hysterical meowing about intergalactic salt shakers and hysterectomies, but I’m too emotionally invested to look under the hood.” ~ Sputnik Music

“Rear Window” is in fact my most-played 2020 track. TURN IT UP!

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4) GUM COUNTRY, SOMEWHERE

It’s not all heavy! But even when I’m looking for something light and hooky, I need a bite, and Gum Country has done it with the kind of swirly, feeedback-laden wall of sound that Lush or Yo La Tengo would make if they lived in LA. (Recent transplants to SoCal from Vancouver, I do think that the sunshine has gone straight to their heads, in the very best way.)

Indie music nerds will know guitarist/composer/singer/front woman Courtney Garvin from The Courtneys, and she really does throw up a glorious wall of sound. I adore this video too! Sweet, swinging, fun -- and yes, the drummer is playing keyboard with one hand while slapping the skins with the other!

I mentioned earlier that all five of these albums have spent part of the year at #1 on my list -- I think that this one might have spent the longest stretch there. Like all shoegaze, even as hooky as this, the truth of these songs is revealed in VOLUME. TURN IT UP!

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5) NOVA TWINS, WHO ARE THE GIRLS?

Now, THIS is heavy! Amy Lee (vocals, guitar) and Georgia South (bass) are fucking LOUD, and insanely intense. A mix of grime, hip-hop, metal, punk, and good old rock and roll, they’re a harder-hitting, more theatrical Prodigy, with a pyre of intensity that recalls the heaviest howls of Rage Against The Machine. Indeed, Nova Twins spent a good bit of 2019 playing heavy metal festivals and toured as openers for Prophets of Rage. (Tom Morello has been a fan and supporter from the beginning.)

As you may have noted in the photo at the top of this post, their musical audacity extends to visuals too: they design their own clothes, hair, and makeup, they art direct their own videos, and more. They impress the hell out of me, and I’ve been a huge fan since hearing their first singles in 2018. I’ll plant a flag and say that Georgia South in particular is the most innovative musician on any instrument in any genre right now, but they’re both absolutely monsters.

I’m honestly not at all sure that #5 is high enough for this, but I’m absolutely certain that after this video, you’re gonna need to rest for a little. LOL

“Taxi” is the story of two gleefully and creatively violent women shaking up the local crime syndicate as they use a vintage cab for their moving murder scene. This is the movie that Robert Rodriguez wishes he was making with Sin City, if it were combined with Blade Runner and The Matrix. And gangsters. And a snake.

I’m gonna take your crown I’m gonna, I’m gonna bleed you out We demand it by the hour We devour, control, power

I’m gonna burn it down Even the, even the royals bow

So not the same kind of therapeutic work being explored on this rekkid, but you know what? Fucking shit up is therapeutic too!

Definitely take this full screen, and for the love of fuck, TURN IT UP!

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SO. Not done with the best of 2020 yet? I’m sure not! A lot of my favorite songs aren’t on albums (at least not yet), so for an unedited list of everything I’m finding, check out my Spotify list, 2020: Shuffle This List! 268 songs and counting, over 15 hours, and not finished yet. I’m still checking out everyone else’s Best of lists (including yours! Message me links to yours!!!), so will probably be adding to this for most of 2021, too.

And for more banging tracks by women from 2020, plus a few 2019 gems that I’m still grooving to, check out my more thoroughly curated Spotify playlist Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam. (You’ll see a couple of these tracks there!) I’m working on a YouTube playlist and an essay to properly roll that one out. I’m also still tweaking the ending, but the three dozen or so tunes there are definitely bangin’.

Tell me if you hear anything you dig here, and tell me what YOU’VE found! We’re gonna get through this together.

Yr pal, Timmy

#me #new classics #classic rock #women in rock #best of 2020 #bully #ganser #the tissues #gum country #nova twins #essay #youtube #punk rock #punk

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seacottons · 3 years

Text

reaper ; — k.hj x reader

pairing: hongjoong x reader, platonic wooyoung x reader

wc: 5k

notes: i guess this is horror? pft. idk. mild violence. set in the late 80s? early 90s? technology isn't prevalent here so- yeah. probably needs to be proofread but i'm too sleepy as of now. maybe tomorrow. also, happy hongjoong day 🤍

synopsis: after an accident leaves three of your friends dead and one in a coma, you and wooyoung struggle with living expenses and piling medical bills. in the midst of it all, you’re stalked by strangers who resemble your deceased friends.

"Bad day at the tavern, Woo?" You asked, arms wrapping around the black-haired man who stood over the stovetop. A gentle fire simmered the stew he was cooking, a thin sheen of oil and spices pooling on the surface. He nodded with a grim frown and tight jaw, shoulders tense as he stirred a ladle into the pot.

"Got in a fight with some asshole who thought he didn't have to pay for shit," he grumbled back. You frowned at the sight of a bruise on his jaw, and he caught your gaze before scoffing incredulously.

"Don't look at me like that. This is nothing," he quipped hastily, voice thin with resignation.

"I think I have some leftover ointment for that," you sighed, turning away to fetch the item. After dinner, the two of you sat in silence as you tended to his bruises and cuts, your brows furrowing into a glare as you wrapped his finger with scraps of linen you managed to find," You should be more careful with people like that."

"We need the money," he retorted gently, "Mr. Lee would've taken it out of my paycheck if I had let the guy go without paying."

"At the expense of you getting hurt?" He ignored the glare you sent his way.

"We need every silver coin and more right now, y/n," he exhaled softly, leaning back against the old headboard of your bed, "Yeosang's medical bills aren't getting cheaper, and we promised the landlord we'll pay her this month." He groaned, reaching up to massage his temple with a tight frown, "And I can't keep making you work two shifts every day. I see the toll it's having on you."

"I told you I'm fine," you gave him a hard stare, defensively crossing your arms above your chest, "We both work overtime, so it won't be fair of me to just throw all the responsibility on you."

He gave you a tired smile, eyes fluttering shut as he hummed back a reply. Bringing you into his arms, he placed a gentle kiss onto your temple, before cradling your head against his chest while laying down, "I'll always be grateful to still have you with me."

Wooyoung sleeping in your bed alongside you became a silent agreement of some sort months ago when he couldn't bear to sleep alone in the other room he and Yeosang shared. Since then, the two of you found comfort in each other's arms, so much so that it became difficult to sleep without the warmth of his arms wrapped securely around your frame every night.

You sat in a comfortable silence, eyes closed as you relaxed back in your seat while holding Yeosang's delicate hand. The occasional beep of the IV machine and other monitors filled the air of the small room. You peek one eye open to look at Wooyoung, his back turned to you as he gazes out of the window. Neither of you speak for a while.

"You really think the doctor's words are guaranteed? That he'll wake up soon?"

You watched from your spot as Wooyoung leaned over the blonde-haired male, his hands brushing the hair away from his closed eyes. He appeared to be in a very deep and peaceful slumber.

"Yeah. I'm sure–.. I know he will. Things will get better for all of us," he drawled out tiredly, a soft smile finding itself onto his visage as he turned to gaze at your hand grasping Yeosang's limp one, eyes puffy from his crying session last night, "I know it."

An hour later, a nurse peeks her head in to politely state that you two have exceeded your visiting time. The two of you bid your friend farewell and left the hospital.

"I'm actually going to run by the cemetery real quick before my shift starts," you explained while walking down the road with the other by your side, half frozen autumn leaves crunching beneath your boots.

Wooyoung pulled you into a tight hug, hand reaching up to tussle your locks, "Alright, please be careful. I'll see you later, alright?," he readjusted the scarf around your neck with his gloved hands, "We'll have fried fish tonight, your favorite. Don't overwork yourself at work again!"

Tears nearly welled in your eyes, knowing fully well behind his cheerful demeanor hid a scared and tired being. The unspeakable pain behind his eyes killed you on the inside. He overworked himself both physically and mentally, and you can only wish you can rid some of the burden off of his shoulders.

You were just as hurt by the circumstances that the both of you were in, but watching his mental health erode with each day was A lump formed in your throat, and instead of replying, you merely flashed him a smile, not trusting your voice.

You pressed a quick peck to his cheek only to laugh as he flinched away from your freezing lips, your laughter escaping as puffs of white in the frigid air. You bid him farewell and waved back as the two of you separated.

The low mist enshrouding the cemetery did very little to bring warmth in the early hours of the morning. Your hands absentmindedly brushed along the dew covered grass as your eyes fixated onto the inscription on one of the three tombstones.

Where there are flowers, there are butterflies.

"It's your birthday next month, Joong," you muse to the grave in front of you, "I'll make sure to spend the day here with you and the others when the time comes."

You adjusted your position on the grass, the gentle beams of sunlight sparkling in the beads of dew around you. Sitting cross legged, you reminisced the times you spent with the male and the other two friends that shared his fate.

"Wait— how come you get to be the flower? You should be the butterfly instead," you whined whilst poking his cheek.

With a playful quirk of his brow, he reached up to lightly flick your forehead before pulling you closer for a gentle kiss, "You're the butterfly, because you always bug me, baby."

You smiled to yourself at the memory, reaching down to admire the various flowers that have finally bloomed on Hongjoong's grave. Similar blossoms and flowering vines were planted and grown onto the other two graves to the right.

"I miss you so much."

You startled at the sight of a small butterfly fluttering over your head, only to smile once it landed on the purple blossom. You stilled your frame in fear of scaring it off, and watched as it flapped its blue wings subtly.

A small lizard peeked through the gaps of leaves, sharply and swiftly clamping its mouth onto the butterfly. It struggled to keep the bug in its mouth, its head shaking rapidly as the insect wriggled in its hold. Moments later, the bug stilled and the lizard scampered off with its prey.

You stood up, shoulders slumping as you gave the three graves a smile and a wave, "See you guys tomorrow. I love you."

You tightened the sweater around your frame as you made yourself out the gates of the cemetery, sighing in annoyance at the lingering and dense fog. It was difficult to even make out the next tree as you made your way back to town. You faintly hear the sound of a crow's caw in the distance and peer down onto the ground as you feel a tremor beneath your feet. Your head snapped up in time to have a large vehicle's headlights reflect in your wide eyes.

You somehow couldn't quite grasp what day it was, or even what happened at work earlier. Your head spun as if you had just awoken from a drunken stupor.

The sun had set and the moonlight washed the town with a silvery blue hue. Flames flickered within the numerous lampposts and pebbles crunched beneath your feet as you walked through the familiar cobblestone path back home. The streets were deserted. Many buildings were left with shattered windows, small plants and moss growing in the most delicate fissures on their walls. Plastered advertisements and papers on the walls and lampposts looked withered and aged, drooping forward and swaying with the gentle breeze. It was quite an odd sight to see. The once boisterous town strangely felt like a ghost town.

You shrugged off the ominous feeling growing in the pit of your stomach as you trudged along back home.

Along the way, you crossed the hospital where Yeosang was kept. You peeked back to glance at the building, your eyes immediately catching sight of a figure who stood behind a third story window. Furrowing your brows, you turned around to continue walking, the sight of the stranger leaving a bitter feeling in your heart.

The male had the same patch of silver hair as—

Suddenly, your feet came to a halt and you turned back frantically, but the figure was gone. In its place, the blue curtain of Yeosang's room swayed gently with the wind.

Shaking your head, you continued your path whilst rubbing your tired eyes.

"I probably just had a long day," you explained to nobody.

In the distance, there crouched a dark figure, his hands caressing the top of a stray cat's head. You met eyes with the stranger moments later, and you paused in your tracks, your heart dropping down to the floor and leaping into your throat almost simultaneously.

"San?" the figure's lips stretched into a wide grin at your acknowledgement, before he stood up straight to face you. Your legs shook and threatened to give under the sudden weight of your body, "San? Is that really you?"

"Long time no see, y/n."

He silently nodded, arm extending to beckon you forward with a small smile. You took a small step forward, brows furrowing in confusion, "But this can't be you. You're dead."

"Your eyesight is still horrible, I see," he drawled out with a roll of his eyes. You stood inches away from him, eyes widening in disbelief. He sounded like and resembled your late friend with a terrifying accuracy. With a trembling hand you reached forward to cup his cheek, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"You're..," you trailed off, eyes briefly glancing to your right at the reflection of the store glass window. Your reflection grasped at nothing but thin air, and you quickly retracted your hand from his face, eyes wide, "You're not real, are you?"

In an instant, the bright smile vanished and his gaze hardened into a dark expression. He silently bore holes into your head as a gentle breeze swayed his ebony and silver locks over his eyes. You took two hesitant steps back, and a blur of black flew towards you at an inhumane pace, your back roughly slamming onto the cobblestones underneath you.

Your brain scrambled to process what had just happened, eyes widening as San gripped your two wrists above your head with one hand, the other reaching down to wrap his lithe fingers around the column of your neck to squeeze hard. You released a pained cry, face contorting into a harsh wince. The heel of his palm dug painfully in the middle of your clavicles.

With eyes wide as saucers, you frantically kicked at your heels, hitting his frame repeatedly in an attempt to escape his clutches. Your attempt was futile as he released a growl, eyes practically slits as he seethed down at you, his grip tightening at an unbelievable level.

You wheezed, mouth falling open as you choked out his name, before furiously and blindingly sending a stomp onto his crotch repeatedly, your other leg jutting high to kick at his shoulder. It loosened his grip just enough for you to wriggle away, knees buckling as you attempted to stand up, heels kicking at the floor as you scrambled up, desperately trying to create as much distance as possible.

His eyes spoke of unfathomable fury as he regained his composure, taking two big strides to reach you.

Hastily rising to your feet, you dove in an alleyway and into the dark, mind not even processing your whereabouts as you quickly attempted to flee.

Your mind was in shambles as you ducked past clothes lines and the multiple abandoned carts near one of the taverns by the tea shop you worked at.

Turning around another corner, you collided with a strong chest, and you stumbled back at the sight of San's dark eyes peering down at you with a miffed expression. You gasped, face draining of color and chest heaving as you stumbled back and away from him. His chest rose with heavy breathing, brows knitted together furiously as he scurried after you.

"Y/n, y/n," he tsked in amusement, voice chiming like he was singing a song, "Come back, I just want to talk!"

Minutes later, the sound of his heavy footsteps ceased, but you did not have the time or courage to look back to see if he was still following you. You scrambled through dark alleyways, turning around every other corner, heart beating frantically in your ears and weak legs threatening to give way under your weight.

Tears prickled your eyes, and a sob threatened to escape your throat as you practically threw yourself against the frame of your door, fingers frantically reaching down to pull out the key from your pouch. From the corner of your eye, you spotted San madly dashing out from an alleyway to reach you, his voice growling out your name.

"Why are you running away?" He mocked, brows quirking up, "I thought we were good friends?"

Your trembling hands scrambled to unlock your door, hastily clambering in and throwing your entire weight to close it shut. A heavy weight from the other side thudded against the wooden frame, and your hands shook whilst reaching up to slide the chain into place. A loud gasp left your lips as the door jerked open slightly, the thin chain straining under the weight that threatened to break it.

"I'm hurt, y/n," a laugh escaped the man from the other side as he lodged his foot in between to keep the door ajar, voice rising as he attempted to shove himself in once more, "Don't you miss me?"

"Leave me alone!"

A hand shot from the gap of the door to clamp around the chain, rattling it viciously, as his other arm bent at an awkward angle to coil his fingers around the side of your neck, "Come out, y/n. I just want to talk," he chimed.

A sudden surge of strength overtook your frame and you threw your weight forward, successfully ramming the door shut against his arms. You expected to hear a cry of pain, but a chime of laughter sent a chill down your spine. With furrowed brows, you repeated the action, slamming the door continuously onto his hands and fingers, the sounds of bones and tendons snapping making you cry out in anguish.

Your hands trembled as you quickly locked the door with the key, stumbling back onto the floor as the knob shook threateningly. The door and chain rattled under the heavy kicks the male delivered from the other side, The impact of his frame against the other side shaking the door slightly. You fell onto your bottom, wobbly knees finally giving in, hands clutching your gaping mouth, and tears silently streaming down your face. You can practically feel the smile in his words, "It's okay. You'll come out eventually."

The dark shadow of his figure disappeared moments later.

When you woke, you weren't exactly sure when or how you fell asleep. You couldn't quite grasp the memories of the night prior. Sitting up, you emit a disoriented groan before realizing you weren't in your bedroom, but rather in the waiting room in the hospital Yeosang resided in. Peering around in confusion, you took account of the night sky, brows furrowing as you scrambled to find the nearest clock. It was well past midnight and visitors weren't even allowed at this ungodly hour.

The room was vacant, and you couldn't make out any figures of the receptionists through the pebbled sliding-windows. Your hand grasped the doorknob of the entrance door, only for you to sigh in frustration after finding it locked. You turn to the other side of the room only to find the door to the main halls of the ICU left ajar ever so slightly.

You called for any doctor or nurse, but you were met with silence. After much contemplating, you decided to make your way through the long corridors of the hospital, your steps reverberating throughout the empty halls. Where are the attendants, and why is a place like the ICU empty?

If you were stuck in here, you might as well stay in your friend's room. The lights from the mounted sconces petered out against the wall and casted the hallway with a warm glow.

After much turning and walking, you reached the end of the hall, hand reaching for the doorknob when the hallway lights wavered for a second. You peered to the side in confusion, before entering the room, only to stop after a step.

The room was empty, the sheets on the bed untouched and perfectly made. A hiss of air from the corridor startled you, and just as you snapped your head back, the lightbulb above you flickered rapidly before it shattered along with the windows, showering your shocked form with glass shards.

The room was engulfed in darkness, save for the streaks of moonlight filtering past the curtains. You jostled up from where you fell from shock, legs feeling useless as you crawled back out of the room with trembling limbs. Not wanting to look back, you clutched the wall for support before hastily speeding through the endless turns of the hallway.

Corner after corner, panic settled through your system because these were definitely not the same hallway layouts you remembered and memorized like the back of your hand. They were endless and vacant, and you felt like a helpless little mouse in a vast maze. As you quickened your pace into a panicked dash, the windows and light sconces on the wall flickered and shattered with every step you took, and you hastily covered your head and face from the flying glass.

This isn't real, you thought. It can't be real.

"Y/n!"

You froze in your spot, breath caught in your throat as you clamped a hand over your mouth to swallow back a scream threatening to slip past your lips. Did you hear correctly, or was that part of your imagination?

"Y/n," the familiar voice spoke once more.

Your heart hammered against your ribcage as you daringly poked your head from the corner and into the other hallway. Blood pounded past your ears, and it took more than a second to realize there was a figure of a man at the end of the very long and dark corridor.

He took a step forward and the soft moonlight pouring from the window beside him illuminated his figure, and your breath faltered at the sight of the man's smiling face.

"Seonghwa?"

"What are you running away from, y/n?"

You couldn't properly form a reply at his remark, hands reaching up to rub at your tear pricked eyes. A sob bubbled its way up to escape your throat at the sight of your late friend who merely chuckled at your tears.

"Missed me that much, hm?" he mused, shoulders shaking with an amused chortle, "Why don't you come here and give me hug? You know I don't like seeing you cry."

You couldn't help it as a gnawing feeling of unrest settled in the pit of your stomach. A shudder traveled down your spine, goosebumps decorating your arms, and hair standing on the back of your neck. Your mind couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was that had you so disturbed, but your body displayed all the signs. His tone felt off, and you realize he's playing with you. Toying with you. A small distant voice in your head told you to get away.

A sudden thought found its ways into your mind.

Where was his shadow?

Sensing your hesitation, the friendly expression on his face soon dropped, making way for a stone-cold frown and unamused eyes.

"Y/n."

His cold voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you take a hesitant step back, words slipping out before you even processed them, "I know you're not real."

The feral look that overtakes his expression has you reeling back, and you took off running in the opposite direction. Glass crunches beneath your shoes as you dashed from corridor to corridor, lungs burning and muscles aching from the rush of adrenaline. He called for you repeatedly, and you didn't dare turn back to see how far he's caught up with you. With every turn, his voice grew louder and closer, before a flash of black sends you flying back onto the floor. Your body skids onto the ground, shards of glass pricking at your skin. With a rush of adrenaline fueling your system, you hardly wince as you scrambled back from the towering figure, glass piercing your skin in the process.

You feel an excruciating burst of pain in your foot, and before you had the opportunity to pull your leg back, he slams his foot down onto your ankle once more, grinding the joint roughly with his boot. A loud cry of pain escapes your throat and you to struggle wildly to escape his unrelenting grip.

You glance up and through your tears, you make out the gleam of a large piece of glass in Seonghwa's hands, his threatening, blown out pupils pinning you down like trapped prey. Turning the large shard in his hand to examine it, he hums sarcastically before peering down at you with a quirked brow, "You know, I'm offended." Kneeling down to your level, he traces your cheek with a glass, watching your skin split at the action and beads of blood oozing out from the scratch, "And here I thought we were such good, close friends."

Without missing a beat, your hands flew to grasp the shard, roughly ripping it into the soft tissue of his eye and slipping past his frame to stagger to the nearest broken window. You hear a groan from behind you as he doubles over in shock, blood overflowing from his ruptured eye and spilling down his scowling face. Pain surged with every step you took, but if this was your only option to escape, you think maybe the idea of couple of broken bones doesn't sound too bad.

Hastily, you stepped over the windowsill, your arms and legs catching on the jagged teeth of glass remaining, your clothes tearing in the process. You took a sharp inhale before curiously taking a look back at Seonghwa one last time. The sight of him lunging after you has you falling forward and out of the window. It felt as if gravity had slowed the pace of your fall, and you held eye contact with Seonghwa as your frame descended down from the third story floor. Darkness fogged your eyesight, his figure vanishing within the black abyss.

The impact hit you like a truck, and you sat up with a loud intake of breath on your warm bed. Your chest heaved heavily as you took in your surroundings. You suddenly realize you're in Wooyoung and Yeosang's shared room that hasn't been occupied in months. Your eyes fall onto your feet, and your brows furrow in confusion as a sudden thought invades your head.

You faintly remember your ankle being crushed, but it seemed to feel just fine now. When you attempted to recall why you thought it had been broken, it felt like your mind was searching for a forgotten and fragmented memory. After calming your breathing and thoughts, you sit up to go and find your friend.

You called Wooyoung's name repeatedly, but the silence you were met with indicated he wasn't home.

Peering into your room, you hoped to find him sleeping, however your eyes landed on the wall, the sight of messily painted words catching your attention almost immediately.

Where there are flowers, there are butterflies.

Painted flowers and butterflies littered the wall, the excess ink dripping down into lines onto the wooden floorboards.

"Do you like it?"

You jumped at the voice behind you, swiftly turning around to meet the sight of a familiar head of blue hair. You stood there, mouth agape as you silently stared long and hard at the man that once held and loved you in his arms. A long silence followed suit, hanging in the air like the calm before a storm. A breeze hardly stirred from the open window and not a sound could be heard save for the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.

The forbidding, subtle grin displayed on his features filled you with dread, and the mere sight of him gave your brain a debilitating shock. Your knees couldn't hold your weight any longer, and with buckling limbs, you were sent crashing down onto the floor, the look of disbelief and horror never leaving your expression.

You stared at him but it felt like you couldn't quite focus your gaze on him as he peered down at you in mock pity, a condescending smile playing on his lips. His dark gaze seared you as he crouched down to meet your eye level, hand reaching to cup your cheek as he leaned in to press numerous kisses onto your lips. The gesture was void of the warmth and care you remembered, and you sat still as he trailed fleeting kisses down your the column of your neck, his lips attaching fervently onto your clavicles.

"I missed you so much," you began, catching his attention. Pulling away from your irritated flesh, he quirked his brows at your words, hands brushing the hair out of your face as he let out a chuckle. His finely-chiseled face, illuminated by the oil lamps on the wall, broke into a fond expression. Pulling you close to his frame, he pressed your head against his chest, head dipping to kiss into your hair.

"Do you really?" Your brows furrowed slightly, eyes blinking away the tears as you wrapped your arms around his torso, head pressed against his chest. It's been too long without the feeling of your lover's arms around you. It's just been way too long for you, "If you miss me that much then-"

While nuzzling his chest, you come to realization he lacked a heartbeat, and with that thought striking your mind like lightning, you detached yourself from his form instantly. He eyed your trembling form without any sign of amusement.

"Don't look at me like that!" Cowering back against the wall, you broke into screams of despair, fingers pulling handfuls of your hair as you shook your head rapidly, "You're dead— you're not real!" you slapped the heels of your palms against your temple repeatedly, eyes scrunched shut, "Not real! Not real! This is all just my imagination!"

He released a chilling laugh that traveled down your spine and left your fingers and toes numbingly cold. A sudden gust of wind sent the crispy, autumn leaves scampering wildly into the window while also extinguishing the lamplights that illuminated the room, plunging it into darkness.

You only had a second to register his close proximity, your pupils dilating instantly, before a hand latched onto your throat, ramming your head back against the wall in the process. His vice-like, lithe fingers squeezed around your windpipe, successfully blocking your air flow as you squirmed in his relentless hold, lungs burning and diaphragm spasming.

"You'll join me so we can be together again, hm?"

The fist around your throat choked your response, and he tilted his head with a mocking smile, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

His hold only faltered ever so slightly to give you enough air to speak, "I don't want to die," your reply was a little more than a ghost of a breath.

"But, baby," his fingers coiled around your neck, pressing unforgivingly hard until your darkening vision littered with stars, "don't you realize you're already on the brink of death. Just give in, y/n. Don't keep fighting."

The silence of the atmosphere contributed to the solemnity in the air, and despite the clear blue skies and warm sun, there was a relentless chill in Wooyoung's heart. The black-haired male crouched down over the grave, gently placing a small bundle of roses onto the base of the tombstone.

"Happy birthday, Joong," he mused sadly, his puffy, tired eyes flickering over to the sides where the other tombstones lay.

"I'm so sorry for breaking my promise," he blinked rapidly to rid himself of the stinging tears threatening to spill, nose scrunching slightly as he sniffled, "I should've been there that day- shouldn't have let y/n come here alone- and.."

"You know nothing was your fault, Woo. Stop blaming yourself for something you had no control of."

A hand clutched his shoulder, and he peered with tear-filled eyes to give the blonde male a grateful smile, before turning back to the grave, "Yeosang's awake now though and- and the doctors said that y/n's case isn't as bad as his was, so we have hope."

"Y/n is a stubborn fighter," Yeosang offered the other a small smile, crouching down to rub his trembling friend's back, "Everything will be okay in due time."

"I hope so.. and I hope you'll forgive me, Hongjoong," Wooyoung murmured, watching two small butterflies flutter and chase each other around the blossoming flowers atop of Hongjoong's grave.

#ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong scenarios #hongjoong x reader #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung imagines #yeosang imagines #seonghwa imagines #choi san imagines #ateez horror

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sadman-morgan · 4 years

Text

Dance of Devotion

pairing: arthur morgan x female!reader

summary: A horribly shy Arthur struggles to gain the courage to ask you to dance.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none, other than extreme fluff with one cowboy.

—

Arthur Morgan was a man not to fuck with. A life of crime and countless near-death experiences had him hardened more than diamond, but anyone close to him could confirm his heart of gold, and soul of pure devotion.

For years Arthur had believed that nothing could truly touch him. Nothing could break and pull out his true gooey, sugary-sweet interior.

All that changed the second he laid eyes on you.

You had been in camp for a few weeks now, instantly hitting it off with most of the other girls in camp. Over the past few weeks, you had grown particularly close with Mary-Beth and Sadie. All very different in personality and taste but still comfortable in each other’s company. You were frequently seen in Mary-Beth’s lap, her fingers intertwined in your hair, always giving you some elaborate style.

As you stood from the ground a mirror was placed in your hand, courtesy of your friend.

As you checked yourself out in the small handheld mirror, your mouth widened into a smile.

“Aww, Mary-Beth you’re too sweet. Thank you!” you gushed.

“Don’t mention it y/n, glad you like it. You look gorgeous,” she replied.

A broad man who lingered in the background took an immediate liking to your new hairstyle. A man who you were barely acquainted with, other than awkward run-ins. Too many times you had bumped into him, or he raced over to help if you had shown any difficulty with a chore. You didn’t know him all too well, but he seemed like a wreck. If he wasn’t stammering over his words and making a fool of himself, he’d be on the other side of camp. Ignoring you, out of sight but never out of mind. If anything, you had consumed him. Most of his thoughts were related to you in some manner, even though less than a hundred of his words were spoken to you.

This man of mystery stood alongside his older of two fathers. They were deep in conversation before you appeared. As soon as you caught his eye, he transported a million miles away.

His eyes dawdled towards you, following your every step towards your other camp friends.

“arthur…?” an ignored voice said as his eyes continued to follow you.

“Arthur..?” the aged voice continued.

“ARTHUR!” the voice continued, causing Arthur to jump.

“Christ! I’m here.”

“Have you even been listening to me the past few minutes? You’re..gone,”

Arthur inhaled and began to nod, before giving up and shaking his head.

Hosea sighed, glancing over in your direction before looking up at Arthur’s eyes.

Hosea chuckled, “You’re head over heels for that girl, son. Do you even know her name?”

“Yeah, y/n,” He replied.

“Have you spoken to her?”

“Yeah, but- I...I’ve….mumbled...few things.”

Hosea sighed again, “You’re killing me, Arthur,”

“I think you should talk to her... think you’d get along well.”

“I’ve tried Hosea. I feel like I can talk to her, but the second I see her eyes I just…”

“Feel stupid?” Hosea questioned.

“Yeah...feel stupid.” Arthur trailed off.

“That’s how you’re supposed to feel…

...you’re in love with her, son”

Arthur sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

“I’ll..I’ll talk to her, Arthur.”

“Thanks, Hosea,” he said.

A few days passed with no word.

No word from Hosea, and only a few words from a painfully shy, y/n.

He was never good at hiding these types of feelings, other camp members began to notice the way you’d make the Arthur Morgan sweat bullets and shake in his boots.

A slender, grey-haired man approached the end of your cot.

“y/n? Can I speak with you for a moment?” He said.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Do you have something to hide? You didn’t do anything but come over” the man said, forming a “come here” motion with his hands.

You stood and quietly followed Hosea to his tent, standing at the side for good measure.

“Come in!” he exclaimed.

“y/n, have you frequently spoken to my boy? Arthur?”

A puzzling thought crossed your face.

“Arthur..arthur..?” you thought as an “aw shit” look crossed your face.

“That the real tall one, right? Broad? Long hair?”

“That’s the one!” he exclaimed.

“Aw, shit. Is he mad at me? I may have bumped into him a few times, swear it was an accident. I didn’t mean anyth-” your face went red.

“Woah! No! He’s not angry. I just wanted to you something.”

“I’ve noticed your liking to my husband’s gramophone. Don’t fully understand how, makes me want to shoot him sometimes but to each his own.”

Hosea walked towards a pile of aged records, taking a sleeve and placing it in your hands. It wasn’t one you recognized.

As you inspected the sleeve, Hosea shared the history of the record in your hands.”

“That one’s a real important piece in this camp, been one of Arthur’s favorites since he was young.”

You smiled softly, still admiring the record in the worn sleeve.

“Can we listen to it sometime?” you asked.

“Sure,” Hosea nodded. “Would be a nice change from the two songs Dutch constantly plays. We haven’t heard this one in a while,”

You returned the worn record to Hosea and spoke about various camp-related topics before both exiting the tent and scattering away.

Arthur peered over at you before shaking his head, laughing at himself at the idea of making a move.

“You god damn fool,” He murmured to himself.

Over the course of the day, the vibe of his fathers did a complete 180. Once semi-approachable men now turned schoolgirls whenever their son was in sight. Hiding their mouths as they whispered to each other, followed by incessant giggling.

You’d taken notice of these new mannerisms from Dutch and Hosea, and the way Arthur’s face turned a bright red out of embarrassment and fear from it. But, there was nothing to do or say to shake them off Arthur’s back or make him feel better. Hell, you’d probably make him feel worse.

The night crept into the night as a handful of fellow camp members gathered around a fire, sitting on various logs and other items they came across in travel. The only seat remaining was the place on your right, and Arthur was nowhere to be found.

Soft footsteps filled the distant void as Hosea glanced towards the source.

“Arthur, my boy! Come join us! There’s an empty seat next to y/n.”

Arthur quickly looked you in the eyes and grew flustered before you flashed a shy smile.

“Nothing to be anxious about, come over,”

Sighing in defeat, Arthur came over and sat beside you, Irregularly bouncing his leg out of nervousness.

The night carried on as you and your fellow camp members told stories, listened to Dutch’s gramophone, and cracked jokes.

After a while, most of the camp had gone to bed. Remaining members including Arthur, Hosea, Dutch, Charles, and you.

Gravity began to take its toll on your eyelids, begging you to go to sleep.

You started to nod off in your seat and slowly tilted towards your right, as you fell against a startled muscled torso, you jolted upwards.

“Shit! I’m sorry” You said

“Got nothing to say sorry for” He murmured, “I- you’re welcome to lay on me if you like. You ain’t doing any harm ”

You nodded and returned your head back to his shoulder as you both exhaled.

He silently and carefully tucked a few stray strands of hair behind your ear.

Arthur looked up at his older of two fathers, who had mouthed “good job” to him, to which he blushed and rolled his eyes.

As you laid against each other, Hosea stood to attend to the gramophone, changing out the soon ending record to something more appropriate for the late evening.

Hosea sat back down at the fire and waited for a reaction as the new song began to play.

You felt Arthur jump in his seat as the song began to play.

Arthur glanced over at Hosea.

“I believe in you. Do what feels right,” he mouthed.

Hosea and Dutch stood from their seats,

‘Arthur, y/n, think it’s time we packed it in for the night. You’re free to stay here though.”

After exchanging your good nights, the curious couple disappeared for the night, their unruly son silently sitting beside you.

“Haven’t heard this one in a while” He chuckled.

“Y’know, this...song’s real important to me,” he said.

“Been one of my favorites since I joined this gang”

“Is that so?” you questioned.

“Mhm,” he pleasantly said.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air.

“Y/n, will...will you dance with me?” He quickly spat out.

“Arthur..I,”

“I’m sorry for asking, sorry for bother-”

“Yes.”

“Yes?” He questioned.

“Yes.” You repeated.

“Yes, Arthur. I’ll gladly dance with you,” you said with a smile.

Arthur stood up, taking your hand to help you to your feet.

Your hands brushed as you walked a few feet away from the fire, gramophone still audible.

You nervously looked at each other in the eyes before he took your hand again, pulling you into him as you mutually swayed along to the song that had meant the world to him. Occasionally you separated, allowing you to twirl.

“To be honest y/n, I...I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time,” he mumbled into your hair.

“Me too,” you said.

With your arms wrapped around each other, you lovingly danced under the buffet of brightly lit stars throughout the majority of the song before Arthur stood dead in his tracks and pulled you away.

The soul-piercing eye contact continued for a quick moment.

“y/n, can I..can I kiss you?” he asked.

You exhaled with a smile and nodded, pulling him closer to you.

You stood on your toes as he returned his arm around your waist, ever so slightly raising you off the ground. Your lips met slowly for the very first time, but hopefully not the last.

You began to melt into his comforting embrace as time appeared to stand still. Neither of you could say if the song had ended or somehow was still continuing.

Time resumed as you finally pulled away, both mildly chuckling out of awkwardness.

“Thank you,” you said with a shy smile.

“Don’t mention it, thank you as well,” he responded.

“It’s getting real late now, we should probably head to sleep.” he said.

You nodded, “goodnight Arthur, see you tomorrow,”

“See you tomorrow,” he said.

Your tents were on the opposite ends of camp. As he turned around towards his tent, he pumped his fist in victory.

A nearby eye peeked around outside his tent flap and over at his victorious son.

“He did it,” Hosea said to Dutch.

“Mission accomplished?” Dutch mumbled.

“Mission accomplished,” Hosea said.

For years Arthur had believed that nothing could truly touch him. Nothing could break and pull out his true gooey, sugary-sweet interior.

All that changed the second he laid eyes on you.

----

an: thanks for the request, anon! Hope you enjoy!

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lilac-den · 4 years

Note

Hello dear author! How would the ROs react if they came home from a mission to find the MC asleep in their bed snuggling one of their shirts? Thank you!

Cracks knuckles. . . I’mma assume relationship-stage. . .

Zeus: The mission had been tough, as with many other mission. Zeus is a soldier, a dedicated fighter. No iota of complaints have ever crossed their mind.

But this time? It’s the first they ever feel irritated to have this mission drag so long.

Zeus is a clean-cut method for the company to utilize - a top weapon agent in their arsenal. But even they can’t stomach the haughty attitudes of those who belittle the responsibilities at work. That, and the fact they’re also the reason they have drag the mission far longer than it should.

Even Ares was scowling over the governmental agents slacking their asses off. If it wasn’t for Zeus and co, this mission would have gone for a week instead of five days straight. Zeus has already made a promise to spend the whole weekend, and they plan to keep that promise.

The keys rattle and click against the lock, allowing Zeus to step into their apartment with an exhausted sigh. God, they smell. It won’t do good to visit their beloved in such a state. Stripping their suit jacket off, they made their way into their room...

Only to blink upon the sight before them.

There was [Name], all curled up on their bed with their shirt in their grasp. What was once a neatly clean bed, with settled and smoothed out sheets, is now all wrinkled about and the sole chaos in a room of the organized structure.

A light tinge warms their torso.

It’s so strange - that seeing something that disrupts their usually fixed atmosphere be so fulfilling. It’s as if the exhaustion of the mission is lifted, all for the thought of peace with their lover’s sleeping, quiet state.

Zeus allows themselves to step closer, sitting onto the edge of the bed and reach out to brush their forehead. Brows knit, most likely from the feel of their gloves, before beautiful orbs blink open.

“Good morning, [Name],” Zeus says, monotonous and stone-faced. An issue with those who try to approach them, Zeus doesn’t excrete ‘emotional reveal’.

But [Name] flashes that smile - sleepy but joyful. Was it from having a pleasant dream? Or perhaps [Name] believe their dream is of this moment.

“Welcome home...”

Regardless, Zeus knows the yearning they felt for [Name] is mutual.

Hermes: “Fucking assholes, thinking they’re so brilliant...”

The unsettling curses flow out of Hermes as natural as a raging river, their fingers frustratingly flipping through their set of keys as they frown, only to click their tongue and flip once more in reverse.

The mission has taken a massive toll on Hermes - sure, it’s a success but it would have been three days earlier if those scientists from the governmental branch have more brain cells. They completely disregarded Hermes’s suggestion and simply went ahead with their own ideas, singling them out.

Clearly, that didn’t turn out well due to how that simply put them through a grueling demotion and put Hermes in charge of the issue. While there isn’t any other problem to be found, Hermes has grown irate at the time that’s been wasted to the point each of the scientists couldn’t even dare to make a peep of gossip.

The only pro coming out of this is the fact Hermes had earned some vacation days - specifically this weekend.

The idea of spending the weekend with [Name] provides some small mood boost; it had been the only thing that kept Hermes going with those so-called top-notch thinkers.

But when Hermes steps into their apartment and enters the bedroom, they eye the body that lies on their bed.

Pajamas adorn the frame of their beloved, with a small note of bedhead and a black, very familiar T-shirt wrinkling in their grasp as they smile obliviously in their sleep.

[Name] fits so perfectly on their bed, Hermes almost forego taking a short shower just to climb in. Curse outdoor bacteria.

Thankfully, [Name] didn’t wake up while Hermes was showering - considering how it’s massively early and Hermes has spent last night driving back home, being the night owl they are, they could sleep like the dead.

A common thing their beloved has mentioned during their brunches.

Dressed in their sleepwear, Hermes climbs into the sheets, careful not to move the shirt away from [Name], and wraps their arms around [Name] to let themselves settle into the comfort of their own bed.

“Hng...” Hermes’s ears perk at the sound that erupts after merely five minutes before they feel the body in their arm twitch, “Oh...Hermes, when did you come back?”

A sigh leaves them and they find themselves sinking into the softness, a heavy load of exhaustion upon them. Who knew the sound of their voice can make them crumble to instant relaxation? “Just now.”

A gentle touch on the head. “Tough mission?”

“Mm.” Hermes gives a noise of confirmation, relying on the stroking sensation through their hair for its warm properties. The body shifts, which leads to Hermes’s brows knitting together.

“Haha...!” A soft laugh escapes their beloved, a sound that leaves them fuzzy with delight. “Did you miss me too?”

“You took my favorite shirt.”

[Name]’s voice has a pause before concern fills it. “Am I not allowed to?”

The remembrance of [Name] cuddling with their shirt resorts to Hermes tightening their embrace. “Consider this punishment.”

A short laugh leaves [Name] again. “Seems more like a reward.”

Hermes gives out a sort of grumble and leans in without another thought, burying their head into the crook of [Name]’s neck. [Name] doesn’t speak another word, but the fingers that pet along their hair turn into a hand stroking from scalp to the back. A satisfied noise escapes with a minuscule smile.

Clearly, the one getting a reward here is Hermes.

Dionysus: “God, what a week.”

It’s one thing to go undercover as a hotel staff - it’s another to carry that role and attempt fixing most of the problems in said hotel. First had been a Frenchman and Englishman arguing over some preference of which country is better (Ironically - the Frenchman believes England is better while the Englishman believes France is better). Then, there was a lack of staff, which means more tasks to do than what most usually do.

It doesn’t help that Dionysus was in that situation because of some corrupt billionaire who couldn’t stop keeping it in his pants. Including the rare virus, he had spread to his ‘friends’.

It was just an absolute mess. Dionysus wasn’t sure how they’ll stomach seeing another messy bed.

After unlocking the door to their apartment and entering it, they lock the door behind them and head for the bathroom in their bedroom; Dionysus could go for a relaxing bubble bath. But when they step into their bedroom, they freeze with wide, shock eyes.

Lying on their bed, with a vibrant orange PJ shirt in the grasp of familiar hands, is the librarian in all their sleepy glory. Dionysus has always left their curtains open, so the sunrise’s rays are already shining into the room without making contact with the librarian’s blessed face.

Their heart melt. They smile widely and step closer to the bed. Bending down, they plant a kiss onto their beloved’s forehead, something which leads to forcing a groan out of their sleeping beauty.

Eyes blink towards Dionysus, blearily taking them in as the first thing they see - something Dionysus plans to keep doing.

A dazzling smile courses through their lips, flashing beautiful teeth. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Mnngh...” [Name] groans out, grabbing the blanket and curl out, though not turning away from Dionysus and simply rub their cheek into the shirt’s fabric. “No morning - too early...”

A humorous laugh leaves Dionysus as they bend down to leave a dozen more kisses. “Not even for some breakfast?”

A pause. An eye peeks open. “...Mngh.”

In translation: Always for food.

“Alright, I’ll make some animal pancakes.” Dionysus begins to move, but blinks from the slight tug on the end of their suit jacket. Turning back, they spy the hand that clings to it before lifting their head to face the smiling beaut. “What’s wrong?”

A wide grin appears and the librarian lifts themselves up, planting a light peck on Dionysus’s cheek. “Welcome home.”

The poor soul’s heart implodes from the cuteness overload.

Ares: “Fucking pansy shits, acting like kids with scissors...”

Ares just isn’t taking any more shit from the governmental branch. It’s bad enough they’re given weapons - now they have people wielding them, flailing about with a magnum, refusing to take better maintenance with them. If it wasn’t for the fact this was an undercover mission, Ares would have wiped their asses with armor-piercing rounds from an AK-47.

They make their way into their apartment, dumping their duffle bag onto the end of the coat hanger as they strip off their jacket, frustratingly untying their tie. It doesn’t make shit better when they had to have a long drive under the hot, fucking sun and get home just as night falls.

They couldn’t even visit that cadet of theirs on the day of their return - fucking bastards.

“I swear, I’m gonna beat the shit-” Their words stop short upon stepping into their room to eye the form occupying their bed.

The little hacker actually took over their bed.

With their shirt.

In their PJs.

Did they miss Ares that much?

“...Heh.”

A shark-like smile appears on their face and they step into the bathroom. Even after their shower, the cadet is still sleeping. Fully dressed to sleep with dried hair, Ares sighs and climbs into the bed before wrapping their cadet’s body.

“Fucking sap.” Ares mumbles, closing their eyes as a brief smile appear on their face.

???: The apartment door opens and closes without missing a beat, the figure tiredly stepping into the dark flat despite how it’s early morning.

Footsteps tread silently to the bedroom. And there, ??? makes the discovery of the figure on their bed, the brief moment of alerted panic shifting to a calm fulfillment; should have known their tweety bird misses them.

??? steps closer to the bed, reaching up to gently squeeze the bridge of the librarian’s nose. Watching their nose wrinkle, ??? nearly snort with amusement before kneeling onto the ground and fold their arms onto the edge of the bed, resting their chin on their folded arms to continue admiring the blissful sleep of their lover and how that smile - that bright, dazzling smile - make the world whole once more for ???.

(Bonus)

After a decent amount of time, ??? finally moves. They pull one of their larger drawers open and pull out a trumpet. They don’t really play instruments; it was mainly to annoy a notable friend of theirs. Licking their lips with eyes glinting with devious intent, they open their mouth...

Needless to say, ??? enjoys their method of waking their early bird.

#silverking #ROasks #ROreacts #Rela Stage

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harrysgloves · 4 years

Text

Let Your Hair Down

Get caught up with the Let Your Hair Down Masterlist!

word count: 1,477

summary: Harry gets more than he bargains for when he falls not only for you but your little girl as well.

warnings: None yet other than language. This is purely plot and set up. Smut in future chapters.

a/n: First fic so go easy on me. Probably a lot of spelling and grammatical errors but this idea wouldn’t leave me alone so I had to write it. Anyways enjoy! xx

>>><<<

You checked your eyeliner in the visor of your car one last time before shutting it with a huff. You wanted to be here today, you really did, but you also wanted to be at home working on the mile-high pile of laundry that had managed to back up over the last week and a half.

The day was perfect for a cookout, the sun was shining and there were very few clouds in sight. Which meant your bubbly, bouncy, mountain of joy was going to bolt for the pool any second now.

"Okay Thea," you said, turning around to your 4-year-old daughter to give her the before we go in here talk.

"When momma says it's time to leave that means no fight. Right?"

"Right." She agreed. Her eyes wide with excitement and you knew you were only going to hold her attention for a few seconds longer before she lost complete patience. She was already in her swimsuit and her small tiny hand was on the door handle, her bright pink nail polish you had painted on the night before not chipped yet, and her pink and blue friendship bracelet from your sister hanging on her wrist.

"And if momma tells you something, you're going to listen or we're leaving. Got it?"

"Yes!" She groaned her attitude already that of a grown teenager and not a 4 almost 5-year-old.

"Alright, go on then." You never thought she could open the door that fast but as you saw the pink streak of her dashing towards the house you could help but chuckle. She was definitely a handful sometimes especially since you were a single parent but you wouldn't trade your life with her for anything. Plus you were better off without the lying sack of shit that unfortunately had to be her father.

"AUNT SARAH! UNCLE MITCH!" You heard her scream her hellos to your friends and shook your head at her antics. You knew she was excited to see them. It had been a long time since you had felt comfortable enough to come around your old friends. The divorce had really taken its toll on you, made you isolate from everyone you used to talk to. You were just finally starting to get out of the hole you had managed to dig yourself in, a year was long enough to mourn for the life you were never going to have.

"Hey guys." You smiled brightly as you gave Sarah a hug. You had only known her a short time before she married your high school best friend but in that time you had really gotten close and enjoyed having her around maybe even a bit more than you did Mitch.

"You look amazing Y/N!" Sarah gushed over your new outfit you had just bought. The white wrap dress laid perfectly against your curves. It hit just above your mid-thigh which made your legs look long and the white lace trim danced beautifully around your bust, making your cleavage look incredibly larger than it actually was. You had to admit this dress was an absolute steal and made you look like a knockout but the simple white strappy heels had to be your favorite part of the whole outfit. They were surprisingly comfortable for being heels and versatile. You could easily wear them again which meant you could justify how much you embarrassingly spent on them.

"Oh, this old thing?" You teased.

"Don't listen to her Y/N, you look like absolute garbage." Your supposed best friend laughed as your daughter joined in. Hugging her Uncle Mitch tightly around the neck.

"Keep it up Rowland and I'll kick your ass like that time in 11th grade P.E."

"MOMMA!" Thea yelled at you, making your heart stop in its tracks. That stupid fucking rule about no cursing was really starting to come back and bite you on the ass. You grumbled a bit as you fished around your purse and pulled out the small coin bag. You picked out a quarter and handed it to her. After all, rules were rules.

"That stupid Curse Jar is going to make me go broke." You murmured to Sarah as Thea told Mitch all about how she had $20 saved up from the jar and was going to buy a new barbie doll with it.

You followed Sarah into the kitchen to finish helping cut up fruit for the cookout as Thea dragged Mitch towards the swimming pool. She rambled on and on about how her swimming class was going and how excited she was to show him her new swim moves. A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips if she wasn't going to have much of a dad at least she had her Uncle Mitch.

"You know, Harry will be here today." Sarah said not taking her eyes off the strawberry she was cutting up but it made you stop what you were doing immediately.

"You decided the best time to bring up setting me up with him again would be when I had a knife in my hand?" You simply went back to cutting the watermelon into cute little cubes. Trying your hardest to ignore this whole conversation.

"Come on Y/N! It's been a year since Ryan and you need to get back out there. Start seeing people again. Harry doesn't ever shut up about you since the last time you guys met. Drives Mitch crazy." She turned to you putting down her knife. Obviously wanting you to actually talk to her about this and not ignore it. You sighed and sat down your own before wiping off your hands.

"No offense or anything but the last time you guys set me up with someone I ended up divorced." You tried to be as nice as possible but this was pointless. You weren't going to budge on the topic and you didn't need her making you feel guilty for not giving him a chance.

"Besides I'm sure he's more than happy with whoever his girlfriend is this week. I don't need to be another notch in someone's bedpost when I have a daughter to think about." You turned back around to your cutting board hoping that would be the end of it.

"Not all men are like that." She sighed and turned back around to her own cutting board. You could tell by her voice she wasn't done with this but was choosing to let it go before you completely shut down.

"Maybe not but you can't blame me for being closed off. I mean for God sake I walked in on him fucking his side piece in our bed." You said bitterly, cutting your fruit a little too violently.

"I know. I know. Okay, I know, everyone knows, but it wasn't your fault and it isn't good for you to stay this angry."

"I--" You started to tell her how you weren't angry you were pissed. You were mad that the person you put your faith in crushed everything but you were cut short by the handsome brunette that walked through the kitchen, with a bottle of wine in his ring laden hands.

You had to admit he looked great but you quickly shoved down the butterflies in your stomach. You couldn't like him. You couldn't like anyone right now but especially not him. Even though you wanted to, he came with too many complications, too much baggage.

"Hi." He smiled brightly. The kind of smile that made you want to melt into a puddle, his perfect white teeth shined. It was infuriating how pretty someone could be.

"Hey, Harry. Mitch is out back with Thea but you can leave the wine with us." Sarah nodded her head to the empty space oh the counter beside you.

" 'f course you only care about the wine" He rolled his insanely bright green eyes and sat the bottle on the counter. His sight finally landed on you and you could have sworn you heard him suck in a breath.

"Hey, love." He smirked as you kept your eyes firmly on the watermelon. "You look nice."

"Well, I tend to not look like trash all the time Harold." You snapped back but he just laughed it off. His chest rumbled deeply and it made you want to punch him or kiss him, it could have really gone either way at this point.

"Still feisty." He said his smile never faltering from his face. "Have fun girls." He turned and walked out of the kitchen and you couldn't help but look as he walked away. Couldn't hurt to look after all but the smug chuckle you heard from Sarah snapped you out of it.

"Oh, you two are so going to fuck." She snickered. You narrowed your eyes at her.

"I'm definitely not fucking him."

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles x You #Harry Styles x Y/N #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Fanfiction #writing #fanfic #mine #LYHD

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curlystom · 4 years

Text

written — peter parker

a/n: phew! so this is a repost from my old blog which i regretfully deleted (a story that i will go into another time) but i’m back! since all of my college courses are online now, i have been writing like crazy! expect to see some familiar and new stories soon. i have a lot planned. it’s good to be back (:

You admired the faint stars scattered across the night, winter sky as the bus slowed to a stop. The fluffy snow covered everything in its track, making it impossible for you to appreciate the true New York beauty. Your grip on your shoulder strap loosened, grateful that you didn’t have to carry the thousand pound backpack any longer. The tension in your shoulder throbbed as your carried textbooks begged to be put down, massaging the area once you plopped down in an empty row.

The cold air from outside contradicted with the warmth inside the vehicle, making the windows fog. You scooted yourself towards the edge of the bus and tugged on your hoodie sleeve so you could wiped the glass, leaving thin lines of water droplets behind.

The blinking street lamps you passed by barely illuminated the area around it. The light reflected off the pure, white snow so effortlessly, making the dark night seem a bit brighter. It was a sight you would have loved to appreciate, but the radiance was blurred by the fog and your eyes squinted at the difference in brightness.

You twiddled with your fingers, memories of the last few hours replaying like your favorite movie. A smile tugged your lips the more you thought about it.

Open textbooks were sprawled out all across the library table, your laptop resting among them along with a few bags of chips and power drinks. Your cheek rested against your palm, strands of your y/h/c hair falling in front of your face. Attempting to blow them out of your face, you glared when the seemingly easy task was failing.

Your arm fell against the table as you rested your head against your upper arm, wanting to let your eyes flutter close so badly. Studying for over 6 hours had taken its toll on you and it was very evident. The darkening under eyes and pale complexion gave you away.

A cup of coffee was exaggeratedly placed in front of you, forcing your eyes to open. Peter’s hands were on either side of him, resting against the table as he tilted his head to the side to look at you, a small smiling forming at the sight.

“You look like complete shit.” His lips were forced into a hard line, trying to muffle his laughter from other surrounding students.

You groaned, a fake cry leaving as you sank into the uncomfortable chair, the cushion no longer giving you the support you desperately needed.

Your hands covered your tired face, “God, I know. You don’t need to remind me. I’ve been here for over 6 hours.”

“Which is why..,” he scooted the coffee closer to you, “I got you that.”

He pulled the remaining chair from under the table, forcing you to place your feet back on the ground and unmask your face from him. Hesitating for a bit, you couldn’t resist his offer and slowly started to grab the drink, keeping your eyes on him. His eyebrows raised at your reaction as he slowly took a seat, crossing his legs and intertwining his fingers.

Your eyes examined the outside, squinting to make sure there was nothing off about this specific drink. His eyes were locked on you, an eyebrow raised as to why you were acting so strange. Perhaps the coffee would wake you up a bit. Your lips met the plastic cover, a slight burning sensation coming over your tongue as you took a small sip. You were truly too tired to panic.

The bitter taste lingered in your mouth, slowly approving the drink by smacking your lips together and giving a slow nod. He sighed in relief as you went to take another sip, thankful that he had made the right call on what coffee to get you. He turned around the books to see what you had been buried in the past few hours, asking questions about what your upcoming exam was about.

You weren’t listening.

Your eyes examined every part of his face as your lips softly brushed against the coffee lid, taking in every detail one by one.

His freckles replicated the bright stars above you, scattered in the most beautiful way possible. The red tint in his cheeks slowly began to fade into his pale skin, growing more comfortable with the temperature change. A few loose curls fell in front of his face seamlessly, your urge to run your fingers through his locks becoming stronger. His brown orbs exhibited small gold flecks as they scanned the pages, your lips parting at just how mesmerizing they were to look at.

He was breathtaking.

“Y/N?”

Your eyelids flickered as you shook your head, the coffee taking its time to fully sink in your system. Forcing your eyelids to stay open, you took a deep breath in as you fully gave your attention to the boy in front of you. “Hm?”

“Are you okay?” His eyebrows pinched together in concern, “You zoned out.”

“Jus’ exhausted.” You lied, taking another sip of your coffee. He gave you a small, sympathetic smile before forcing his lips into a tight line.

His eyes scanned the many books in front of you, developing a headache just by looking at them. He gripped the wooden arm rests and pushed himself up, closing each book and began to pack them in your bag.

You stood up as well, placing your cup of coffee on the table with your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “W-what are you doing?” You grabbed the books from his grasp, immediately deeping a deep breath when you felt how warm his touch was. A flustered laugh begged to escape but you bit the inside of your mouth from letting that happen.

“I am helping you pack up.” He gently closed your laptop and slipped it in its case, placing it in your backpack and zipping it up nicely. “You need to get some sleep.”

You opened your mouth to protest his actions and to try and convince him that you were fine, but it was no use. Waving his index finger at you, he held the strap of your backpack and encouraged you to take it and go home. A groan left your lips as you rolled your eyes, exaggeratedly grabbing the strap from him and throwing it over your shoulder. Your hand gripped around the coffee while the other waved at Peter, his face displaying a look of “you know i’m right”.

He was always right. It was a love/hate relationship with you. The boy never seemed to answer any question wrong, and his morals and values were ones you’d dream of in a partner. There was truly nothing wrong about the boy, and it was no shocker that you’d fallen head over heels for him.

You had been lucky enough to become his friend over the last 4 years. Having the same communications class definitely sparked a flame between the two of you, instantly becoming partners for every project and studying together. The chemistry you had with each other was undeniable, and it made it even harder not to fall in love with him.

He was everything you aspired to be. His aunt, who is the sweetest lady you’d ever met, received so much affection and love from her nephew, you couldn’t help but smile everytime you saw them together. He tutored other fellow students and volunteered with charities in his free time, truly surprised that he had any.

Peter was a busy guy, and the fact he still made sure to check up on you was the cherry on top.

Heat rushed to the apples of your cheeks at the thought of him, your hands covering them as much as you could so no one could see how flustered you had gotten. You bit your lip to prevent an excited squeal from slipping through, your eyes shutting close before slowly opening, staring out the glass.

The previously wiped area on the window had developed a new layer of fog, covering the entire area again. Water droplets stood still despite the the movement of the bus, your eyes admiring each and every one of them. Downtown New York was barely visible through the fogged glass, but the sight, nevertheless, was still breathtaking.

Colorful lights illuminated the night sky, the light peeking through the fog and displaying on your lap. Your hand peeked through the sleeve of your hoodie as you held out your index finger, meeting it with the freezing glass and traced Peter’s name with a little heart next to it.

A few droplets formed on your side of the glass, sliding down the newly written name. The wet residue resided on your finger before you wiped it off on your jeans, smiling at the letters on the window. The bus had slowed to a stop, and the surroundings indicated that this was your stop. You took one last look at the window before grabbing the strap of your backpack, thanking the bus driver, and stepping off the bus.

Peter sat a few rows behind you, his eyes following you as you departed. A small smile tugged at his lips at how carelessly beautiful you were. A few pieces from you bun were curled, framing your face perfectly. A rosy tint colored your cheeks, either from the frosty weather or being flustered. The way your corners of your eye crinkled when you smiled made his heart pound against his chest, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. You were unlike anyone he had ever seen.

His eyes trailed back to where you were previously sitting and landed on the fogged glass. The letters you had written were slowly disappearing but it was legible enough for him to read. He had watched you trace your finger along the frosted glass, seeing the slight flinch you made when you realized how cold it was, but you had placed it just right where anyone behind couldn’t see it.

The butterflies in his stomach intensified by 100, and his heart seemed to have beat faster when he comprehended what you had wrote. You, a beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate girl, felt nearly the same way he did about you. Time played a big role in this particular moment. He had met you years ago, unsure of his feelings for you and never really tested the waters. He remained close friends with you, bringing you coffee during your late study sessions and advising you to do what was best.

He was scared to break that wall, not wanting to change a relationship he was very appreciative of. The last thing he wanted to do was lose you, but now he was going to fight for you until his last dying breath.

#i have forgotten how much i loved tumblr #and writing #and just everything in general #tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #peter parker #peter parker one shot #peter parker fluff #peter parker x reader #tom holland one shot #peter parker fic

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epochofbelief · 4 years

Text

Breath Control, Chapter Four

an A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to Sarah J Maas!

Primarily Feysand.

Warnings for drinking, mature content, etc.

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three

Please Enjoy and let me know if you want to be tagged!

Four

Monday morning was my first practice with the middle distance group. Luckily, Mor had swooped in and decided we were carpooling to my first day, so she’d picked me up at 5:00 at my house and we’d ridden in to practice together. Indie music issued from her car’s speakers while I struggled to stay awake on the passenger side.

“Are you nervous?” she asked.

I shrugged. Yes. “No,” I said.

She yawned. “I bet you are. But don’t worry. Just get in a lane with me, or Rhys, or even Azriel and you’ll be fine. You’re fast as hell, I know that, so you’ll keep up with us without any trouble.”

Her encouragement helped. A little.

But practice ended up going just fine. I wasn’t as weak as I could be. The past month of me spiraling into an enormous confused mess had taken its toll but moving from distance to middle distance masked most of that. I needed to get my ass into gear and fast if I wanted to make the travel team, though. Coach King’s words had been anything but encouraging on that front.

And now I knew why. The list for this weekend’s travel team had been posted that morning outside the locker rooms. I had not made it. The first time I hadn’t been chosen to travel. I tried to be upset and I was a little disappointed in myself.

But I didn’t care as much as I should have. As much as I would have a year ago if I hadn’t made the travel team. I really needed to sort myself out.

Mor gave me a clap on the shoulder and didn’t say anything. She probably thought she’d upset me if she tried to comfort me. Really, I was embarrassed I hadn’t made it, not disappointed because I couldn’t compete. Which was the wrong way to feel about something I was supposed to be passionate about.

After practice, we headed over to the gym for weights. I partnered with Mor, who kept up a constant stream of chatter, explaining a few new movements I hadn’t previously done while training with the distance group.

Cassian came over about halfway through the workout. “Hey ladies.”

Mor rolled her eyes as she struggled to deadlift something like 250 pounds. I turned to Cassian. He was attractive--obviously. Dark hair, growing fairly shaggy. Stubble covering his impeccable jawline. Hazel eyes that constantly focused on everything in front of him with clear intent. Unless he was drunk. I’d seen Cassian drunk off his ass at many-a-college-party.

“How was your first day, Feyre?” He winked at me, ignoring the attitude emanating from Mor, who was moving through her five reps with the bar very slowly. I could tell it was playful, though.

The desire for a friendship like theirs, a group like Rhys’s and Mor’s, suddenly overwhelmed me.

“Not too bad. A lot less yardage in this group than I’m used to,” I said a little competitively. Wasn’t that what my mom had always said, before she’d died? Talk to people as though they are already your friends and you’ll become friends much faster? Cassian was my new training partner--as all those in Mid-D group were. I may not care so much for the direction my swimming career was headed in right now but I could at least make an effort to make friends with Rhys and Mor’s friends. Especially since Cassian had intentionally come over here to talk to me, it seemed.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Archeron. It may have been shorter in terms of length but it was definitely way more intense than you’re used to. You could barely stay under for those eight underwaters, if I remember correctly.”

He was right. Underwaters were killer. This morning we had finished our warmup set with 8x25s (eight lengths of the pool) all underwater on thirty-five second intervals. Not my favorite thing in the world.

“Give me a week and I’ll be swimming circles around you and your whole group. Above or under the water.”

He smiled and I could tell he was pleased with the very tame trash talk I’d been able to muster. I wondered how much Rhys had told him about the wreck that had been my life for the past few weeks. Months. Year. Cassian had probably come over here out of pity, to help the poor, friendless, out-of-shape Feyre Archeron. No thanks.

“We’ll see about that. I’m glad to have you in the group. Az is too. Sometimes a change is good. We need more hard workers in Middle D.”

I blinked. Was that. . . pride I was feeling at his mild praise? “Thanks, Cassian.”

He gave me a salute and crossed back over to the rack he was sharing with Azriel and Rhys. Azriel was deadlifting but Rhys was looking directly at me. I met his eyes. Then Cassian said something and Rhys turned bright red. He snapped his attention to Cassian, obviously retorting defensively at whatever Cassian had said to make him so--self-conscious? I shook my head. None of my business, whatever those boys were joking about. Probably girls, or something.

I didn’t let the possibility that Cassian had been teasing Rhys about me even cross my mind.

As I moved to lift the trap bar, Mor having collapsed on the ground next to it and asking me to leave her there to die, I did let myself admit that Rhys’s behavior toward me over the past month had been. . . unnecessarily kind. And the possibility that he. . . felt something for me. . .

I shut down that thought as quickly as it floated through the back of my mind. And as I pulled the trap bar up, an enormous

BANG

sounded from Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys’s weight lifting platform.

“SHIT!”

I dropped the bar and rushed after Mor, who had taken off without a second thought, and found myself pushing through the small crowd of people already forming around the platform before I knew what I was doing. Rhys, doubled over, his hands braced on the bench in front of him, had his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Cassian was setting a fifty pound weight off to the side. . . and I put together what had happened. That weight had fallen onto Rhys’s . . . foot? Leg? Toes?

He looked to be in a lot of pain, although he hadn’t uttered a word. The curse had come from Cassian.

Azriel was already there, easing Rhys’s arm around his shoulders and helping him take a seat on the bench as our athletic trainer ran over.

“Get back to work, everyone. Only two rounds to go,” our weight trainer said and everyone turned to head back to their stations. Mor made no move that suggested she planned on leaving Rhys’s side. And for some reason I found that I couldn’t either.

Our trainer, Madja, knelt next to Rhys. “What happened?” She asked gently, assessing the situation with her cunning eyes. Madja was the best of all the athletic trainers at Prythian University. Rhys was in good hands.

Cassian, running his hands through his hair, spoke. “I was being an idiot. I tried to pick up the fifty and the thirty at the same time and I wasn’t paying attention, so the fifty slipped out of my hands while I tried to re-rack them. Fuck, Rhys, I’m so sorry. Shit.”

Madja raised her brows at Cassian’s cursing but said nothing. Rhys, despite looking as though he was in a fair amount of pain, gritted out, “You didn’t do it on purpose, Cass. It’s just sore. I can walk now, I think.”

Before Madja could protest, he stood up. “See? I’m fine.”

Madja poked his shoulder, forcing him to put weight on his right foot. He hissed, eyes squeezing tightly shut.

“Sit.” Madja eased him back down onto the bench, then seemed to notice that Mor and I were still there. “Didn’t you hear your coach? Finish lifting. Rhys will be fine.”

Mor nodded, biting her lip. She told Rhys to call her as soon as he knew anything in case he needed help getting home. She brushed past my shoulder as Rhys’s eyes met mine. Something in them seemed to. . . soften, as he looked at me.

I gave him a hasty smile and turned away. And made sure the suspicion building within my mind was buried.

Deep.

-----------------

After weights, Mor bounced off to a four hour lab of some sort and I walked to class with Cassian and Azriel. All three of us had our Monday morning classes in the same building, luckily.

I’d been extremely nervous about making new friends in this group, and since my Saturday night “bonding session” had been severely interrupted, I’d figured it would take a while to find a group in Mid D. But as I had walked out of the locker room after weights, I’d found Cassian and Azriel loitering around the main path to campus as though waiting for someone. Mor had probably asked them to talk to me or something.

I was pathetic if I needed someone to arrange my friendships for me.

But I knew Mor had my best interests in mind as I made to walk past the boys. And I certainly wasn’t going to be able to do it myself. The boys fell into step beside me and Cassian started chattering away.

“Feyre! Fancy seeing you here. Heard from Rhys about his foot? Did Mor say anything?” I could tell his guilt was eating him pretty badly. His eyes were wide and he radiated tension. Cassian was in my year, a sophomore, but he’d quickly grown to become close friends with Rhys, Mor, and Azriel, who were all juniors. Amren, whom I hadn’t interacted with this morning, was a senior.

Azriel gave him a look as though pushing him to calm down, but I answered, “Mor hasn’t heard from him.”

Cassian cast his eyes down and I found myself suddenly eager to assuage his guilt. His attitude now was so at odds with the playful guy I’d spoken with in the weight room. “But I’m sure he doesn’t blame you, Cassian. It was an accident.”

Azriel pitched in. “You’ve got to relax, man. He’s not going to hate you.”

“What if I just ruined his career,” Cassian stated flatly.

Azriel launched into a long explanation for why a foot injury wasn’t going to ruin someone’s career and I realized this was probably the first time I had ever heard Azriel speak. He was definitely the quietest of their group, usually overshadowed by all of his friends. All of them had such large, loud personalities. Mor was both chipper and an absolute badass, Cassian had the confidence of a world leader, Amren took no shit, and Rhys was self-assured and--the thought flew through my mind, unbidden--sexy.

I shook my head. Rhys and his sexiness did not belong there.

But Azriel. . . he was fast. Always traveled to compete with the team. Had decent grades, from what I’d heard. He was one of the few who didn’t hook up with girls from the team. He was just. . . quiet.

Cassian’s voice broke into my thoughts. “Well as soon as I hear from him I’m going to the med clinic or wherever he is. What if he can’t travel with us this weekend?”

Azriel sighed. “He’ll hang out with Feyre, I’m sure. Pretty ideal--” He cut himself off at the look Cassian was now giving him over my head.

“What?” I asked, glancing between them.

“Guess I’m not the only stupid, clumsy one around here,” Cassian finally grinned, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Rhys will hate us both when he gets out of the doctor’s.”

“Bye Feyre!” Azriel said hastily and he and Cassian sped through the doors of our building, up the stairs and out of my sight before I could badger them for details about what they’d meant.

My suspicion grew.

----------------------------------

After my three classes, I headed back to the parking lot to wait for Mor’s lab to finish. I hadn’t realized that I’d be stranded on campus for an extra few hours since she’d been my ride. And almost as if she’d sensed me thinking about her, my phone rang.

“Feyre! Thank God you picked up. I need an enormous favor, that will also happen to benefit you.”

I tried to respond but she trilled on in her usual way. I couldn’t help smiling a little to myself. Mor was so confident with her every word and yet kind at the same time. Nothing like Ianthe, who’d talked over me constantly for the past year and a half, always feeling the need to be in the spotlight of whatever conversation we had, with whoever we were with. I’d take Mor over Ianthe any day, I realized.

“I’m in the middle of my lab but Rhys just called me. His foot is 100% broken. He can’t travel this week, nor can he swim for at least the next month. Don’t get me started on how devastated he is. I feel awful for him, and for how I know Cassian is going to feel, too. The doctors want him to go home but it’s his right foot, so he can’t drive himself. I know you can’t get back to Astrid Oaks until I’m done but. . . What if you got the keys from Rhys and drove him back there? The doctor wants him to rest the rest of the day. No class.”

I didn’t even have to think about it. I owed Rhys enough already and he was probably in a lot of pain, not to mention anxious over his swim season. “Of course. Where is he now?”

Mor told me to head over to the Med Clinic at the edge of campus. “Oh, and Feyre? He has no idea I’m sending you. He’s kind of embarrassed that it’s broken and that his season was just doomed so he might be kind of surprised when you show up! Okay bye!”

She ended the call. Great.

I pressed on toward the clinic though, and found Rhys sitting in the lobby, staring down at his phone, his foot in one of those black boots and a pair of crutches leaning against the chair next to him.

He looked up only when I stood right in front of him. A frown covered most of his face. “Feyre.”

This might have been the first time I’d ever received a less-than-enthusiastic greeting from Rhys. I could tell from his facial expression and tone that he was not in a good place right now.

“Hi,” I said and sat down next to him.

“Mor sent you didn’t she.”

I nodded, daring to glance at him from the corner of my eyes.

He groaned and leaned back in his chair, resting his head against the wall. “I do love my cousin.”

“You’re cousins? I never knew…” I had used to assume that Rhys and Mor had a thing, or something, considering the fact that they’d been roommates since they’d moved out of the dorms. They’re interactions over the past few weeks had mostly disproved that, but. . .

“Most people kind of assume we’re involved in some way. Nope. Just cousins. And because of that, Mor usually takes it upon herself to do things that she thinks will be ‘good’ for me. Often without consulting me on them.”

“How would me coming to pick you up and take you home be considered ‘good’ for you?”

I dared another glance. His ears were bright pink. I instantly regretted my question. I used to think that the great Rhysand Night could never be flustered but. . . Now I wasn’t so sure.

“So you are taking me home?” It didn’t escape my notice that he had avoided my question.

“If you’ll let me. Doesn’t seem like you can drive yourself, and walking would probably take you all day. . .”

He let out a sharp exhale of breath from his nose. “Alright. Let’s go then.” He made to stand but before I could stop myself I had my hands on his shoulders and I was forcing him back down. He stilled at my touch, and I didn’t think it was just because he knew he should stay off his foot.

“No, no, no. You give me your keys right now and I’ll go find your car in the athletics lot and bring it here. You are not crutching your way back across campus.”

“Feyre.” I was pleased to hear he sounded more exasperated than sullen for the moment.

“Rhys.” I put my hands on my hips.

“Fine, Mom,” he said sarcastically and passed me his keys.

“Thank you. Don’t move or you’re grounded.”

Twenty minutes later I pulled up outside the med clinic and found Rhys seated on a bench outside. He used his crutches to get to the passenger side and clumsily got in, pulling the crutches in beside him and tossing them into the back. We were five minutes down the road when he spoke.

“Thank you, by the way.”

“It’s the least I could do.”

“Nothing I’ve done for you over the past two weeks has been because I wanted you in my debt.” He was back to his sullen self. I didn’t like it. I wanted his mind off of his current situation. An injury like a broken bone for an athlete. . . Wasn’t good, to say the least.

“I know. Neither is this. Although. . .”

I waited, but he didn’t bite. His uncharacteristic silence really unnerved me.

“I could think of ways you could repay me.”

“What does that mean.”

I clicked my tongue. “I’m sure you’re well versed in all the ways you can repay a woman.”

He stiffened, then turned in his seat, eyes wide. A smirk erupted across his face. “Why are you suddenly so eager to help me, Feyre darling?”

I smiled at my victory. “Perhaps I’m interested in what the payout for me is, after all.”

He rolled his eyes and settled back in his seat, nothing more than a satisfied male. “When I’m back on my feet again, Feyre, you might just find out.”

And damn me for feeling it barely two weeks after my breakup with Tamlin but I couldn’t prevent the thrill that raced through my body at his words.

Time to get this conversation back on track.

“So what’s the official prognosis?”

“Broken,” he sighed, although his somber attitude was all but gone. “At least four weeks until recovery. They put me in this boot for now and I’ve got to go back tomorrow for x-rays and shit. Crutches until the pain goes away and they clear me to put weight on it. I’m clearly not traveling for our dual meet this weekend.”

I worried he’d slip back into his early drudgeon. “Looks like we’ll have to find something to do with ourselves while everybody’s gone, then.”

Despite himself, he smiled. “Looks like it. Isn’t that going to be a lot of social time for you, though? The Feyre I knew a month ago would probably hole herself up in her room if she wasn’t able to travel. Talk to no one.”

“You barely knew me a month ago,” I reminded him. “You still barely know me now.” I didn’t mention Tamlin’s tendency to insist I hang out with him and only him--or Ianthe. I remembered the day he’d walked in on Lucien and I as we innocently watched a horror movie last year. The fight between the two had been earth-shattering. And all we had done was turn on a movie to watch as friends while we waited for Tamlin to finish a final, or something.

No one but Tamlin and I knew why Lucien had transferred from Prythian University to swim somewhere halfway across the country. And even though Lucien had never had the strength to stand up to Tamlin, he’d been a decent friend to me. Friend and nothing more, and yet Tamlin’s jealousy destroyed his friendship with Lucien and drove Lucien away from the school. It didn’t do much for Lucien’s and my relationship, either. I hadn’t spoken to him in a long time. The reality of my stupidity at remaining with Tamlin hit me again.

Rhys seemed to read my mind though. “I know you more than you think. And I guess now that you’re single it’s easier to have friends. I hope at least that’s a positive for you. I know it must be hard.”

I knew it pained him to say those words and I was grateful for them all the same. “Yeah. There’s a lot less arguing, too. And at least if I want to hole myself up in my room alone now, it’s my choice.”

He didn’t respond for a while. “I guess you’re going to be my personal chauffeur this week while everyone else prepares to travel. No holing yourself up til after then, I’m afraid. I’ll need someone to cater to my every whim.”

“I think the price of my services just increased.”

He reclined in the chair. “I promise it’ll be worth your while.”

“Pig.”

#acomaf au #acotar au #breathcontrol ar ff #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury au #a court of thorns and roses au #feysand #feysand au #college au #nesta archeron #elriel #feyre x rhysand #feyre x rhys #rhysand #high lord of the night court #fanfiction

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buckysforeverprincess · 4 years

Text

Can Our Love Survive? Ch. 14

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Sarah Rogers

Words: 1749

Warnings: Violence, someone is about to get beat!

A/N: Hello! We are almost to the halfway mark and now that these two are a couple things will start moving and happening. We’re starting to get to the good stuff now! Enjoy!

**TAG LISGT IS OPEN UNTIL CH. 15. PLEASE SEND AN ASK**

Thanksgiving was approaching quickly, and you and Bucky had been together for a month. The only people who knew were Nat and Clint and they were both keeping their mouths shut, letting the two of you set the pace for letting your group of friends know your truth. Hiding your relationship was getting harder by the day and you weren't sure how much longer your resolve would hold, and you’d end up blurting out your secret to everyone while sitting at the lunch table.

Bucky had told you Steve had reached out to him to talk, but your brother never carried through. Your boyfriend had waited around after school, but Steve never came. He’d ditched Bucky and now he felt he was back to square one. The entire thing was taking a toll on you and you knew you would hit your breaking point very soon.

“Hey baby?” Bucky kisses the top of your head. The two of you were wrapped up in a tangled mess of limbs, cuddling on your bed. This had become your favorite after school activity since you started dating. Steve never came home before six and your mom didn't get home from the hospital until around eight, so that gave you plenty of time together without the fear of being caught.

“Hmmmm?” You were so comfortable laying on his chest watching tv that sleep was starting to overtake you.

“I think we should tell Steve.”

You sat up and looked at your boyfriend puzzled. “Really? Why?”

“Because I don't want to hide anymore, and I see the stress this is causing you. You've been so good, no attacks lately, but I feel the longer we keep this a secret the more we jeopardize your anxiety. I won't do that to you.” Bucky’s gently holding your face and you see the sincerity in his eyes.

“You really are perfect.”

Bucky chuckles and leans in for a soft kiss. Kissing him has become your most favorite thing next to cuddles. “When should we do this?” Asking him as you pull away to grab your phone checking the time.

“No time like the present. Let's just get it over with.” He gets up off the bed, putting on his shoes in case he'll need to make a quick getaway.

“Well, Steve should be home soon, it's ten minutes to six and I need to start dinner anyway. Guess now��s a good time to have all hell break loose,” you joke and get up off the bed.

Leaving your bedroom. the two of you head out to the kitchen to start dinner. Pasta sounds good and is quick and easy and you have zero motivation to do something big. Bucky helps by grabbing the box of shells and sauce from the cupboard and sets the items down on the counter. He's become familiar with the location of certain things now that he’s spending more time in your home. You've never asked him to help, he just does and you're happy this caring, helpful man is yours.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Steve's voice startles you and you turn to see a very pissed off Steve and an equally annoyed Sam standing in the entryway of the kitchen. Steve’s was in full alpha mode with his chest puffed out, looking like bull at a rodeo ready to strike. This could get ugly quick and you hoped you could diffuse this situation before it got any worse.

“Dinner is what's going on. Hope you're in the mood for pasta.” You turned away and focused your attention to the shells boiling in the pot on the stove, dismissing your brothers’ question.

“Answer my question Y/N! What is he doing here?!” Steve inches closer to Bucky, preparing for a fight. His fists are balled up at his sides and you know he could strike at any moment.

You turn around and place yourself between Bucky and Steve, making yourself a shield to protect your boyfriend. “My boyfriend is here helping me make dinner! The fuck are you doing here?” You redirect the question to Steve, using the same tone he’d thrown at you.

“I fucking live here! And since when is he your boyfriend?” Steve yells, his face turning red. From the corner of your eye you can see Sam shaking his head in disapproval.

Bucky decides to take the lead and moves from behind you into Steve's direct line of sight. “For the past month,” he answers, “please don't be mad, Steve. We wanted to tell you and that’s why I’m here. We were ready to come clean and hoped you’d be accepting of our relationship. We’re sorry for hiding it from you.” Bucky apologizes looking directly at Steve, but Steve's eyes are locked on you.

“Seriously?!” Sam yells from behind Steve. “You couldn't get enough outta Brittany, you just had to come after Y/N too?!”

“I didn't do anything with that girl!” Bucky defends against the verbal attack. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

Sam scoffs and shakes his head. “Since when is tonsil hockey nothing?! Why could you just leave her alone? She doesn't need you, you're no better than Brock!”

Sam’s words ignite a fire in you and you've absolutely had enough. “How dare you talk to my boyfriend that way, and how dare you say that name in my house! I am sick to death of your shit Sam Wilson! Quit judging him on something he knew nothing about and trust me to be able to make my own decisions. Last time I checked I was still my own person!”

“He's just trying to protect you!” Steve joins in the yelling match, agreeing with his friend.

“Protect me from what, myself?! I’m seriously damaged beyond repair, no one can fuck me up anymore!” You're facing your brother at this point, knowing he's got a rebuttal for everything.

“You're not damaged-”

“Just fucking stop Steve!” You interrupt him. “I know what I am! And guess what? He knows it too, but he doesn't judge me for it. He cares about me, my feelings, my thoughts. Me! He makes me happy. Can't you see this is the happiest I've been in a long time? Why can't you just let me have this? What’s more important to you, the person I've been for the last year or me right now?” Your eyes are watering from all the emotion building inside you.

“I won't hurt her, Steve. I care about her too much,” Bucky says, coming up behind you and wraps you up in a loving embrace.

“And when you do, we'll be the ones picking up the pieces just like before!” Sam's tone just as harsh and not letting up.

“God, you just can't cut me a break, can you?” Bucky steps away from you and moves past Steve to stand directly in front of Sam. “What did I do to make you hate me?”

“You think I can't see it? I'm sure there's a reason you moved here from nowhere Indiana. Probably got in trouble and this was your only chance at redemption. You're just another broken white boy that needs fixing and she's not your savior!” Sam has inched his way closer to Bucky, the two of them are practically breathing the same air.

“You need to leave, Sam. I won't ask you again.” You're staring daggers at him, the tone of your voice anything but nice.

Sam scoffs and steps back from Bucky, his gaze now fixed on you. “You're joking right?! I've known you since the first grade, and you're siding with him after a month?! Obviously, Brock fucked you all kinds of wrong, because you are seriously fucked up in the head!”

Sam regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but it was too late. The damage had been done. It took all of three seconds for Bucky to react, punching Sam in the face, making the boy fall to the ground. In an instant, Bucky was on him, continuing his attack, landing punch after punch with no intention of stopping.

Steve watches in a state of disbelief, but then comes to his senses and moves to the two on the floor trying to remove the brunette from Sam, but Bucky's body is just about as big as Steve’s and lifting him from the other man was a struggle.

“Let go of me!” Bucky yells, trying to remove the grasp that’s holding him back from his target.

“Bucky stop please! You're gonna seriously hurt him!” Steve pleads with an adrenaline filled Bucky, finally peeling him off Sam.

“That's the fucking point!” Sam’s face has taken a beating, blood coming from multiple openings and cuts.

“What the hell is going on here?!” Sarah Rogers has entered the kitchen and assess the scene. She moves quickly, kneeling next to the bloodied boy laying on the ground. “Sam are you ok?”

Sam just groans in response, the fight taking its toll on him. “Don’t get up, let me check you out first. Steve…,” Sarah gets the attention of her son, “… get Bucky out and then tend to your sister.”

In all the confusion, you had been forgotten. You were sitting on the ground with your knees up to your chest trying to control your breathing, a panic attack had set it.

Bucky removes himself from Steve’s hold and crawls to your side. “I'm so sorry baby!” He places his arms around your body and starts rocking you back and forth trying to offer comfort with his embrace.

“Bucky…,” you cry out, tears running down your face.

“I'm here baby, I'm not leaving you.” His lips are peppering your head with tender kisses as he rocks you.

“Bucky... what did you do?” You whisper and start to pull away from his embrace.

“I'm sorry… I… he… fuck!” He stutters, unable to make out a complete sentence.

“Hey Bucky, let’s go.” Steve’s next to him, a large hand on his shoulder. “Come on, I'll take you home.” Steve's words are soft and there's a kindness about him.

Bucky hesitated for a moment and gave you one last kiss before standing got to his feet, his eyes never leaving yours. “I love you.” Was the last thing he said, turning to Steve and letting the blond walk him through the house, leaving you to watch your mother tend the boy who just took a beating at the hands of the guy you loved.

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#Bucky Barnes #james barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader sister #sam wilson #sarah rogers #can our love survive

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maaaaaatryoshka0325 · 4 years

Text

Shattered Sky - Hwang Hyunjin Zombie Apocalypse AU Part 11

Warnings: Character death, gore, pretty disturbing death scenes

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Your fingers softly ran through your kittens fur as you laid on your bed. It’s been days since you woke up, and not doing a damn thing was driving you insane. The only good it did was helping you pick out your kitten’s name, and you named her C/N (y’all can choose 😊). You laid there with her, letting out a loud sigh.

Your neck had healed pretty nicely, and it should be healed fully within a couple days to a week. You were too restless to wait that long, wanting to at least do SOMETHING. No matter what you tried to do, the survivors wouldn’t allow you to touch anything, tell you to just worry about healing. It was taken a toll on your mental state, not to mention the small amount of weight you put on (I’d be hella mad 😂).

You lightly laid C/N on the bed, making your way out the door. You decided to harass Hyunjin to let you go out, just to hunt. It didn’t take too much enery out of you, and you heard Hoseok and Woobin talking about it. You walked over to the tall tower, Changbin standing outside.

“What are you doing out and about?” He asked.

You and Changbin weren’t close, but he brought you a lot of things you needed while you were being shoved away into your cottage. You liked his presence, as he was extremely kind, despite his intimidating looks.

“I want to talk to Hyunjin.” You said.

“About?” He asked.

“Stuff.” You said shortly.

He chuckled and shrugged, moving away from the entrance. You flashed him a grin and headed up the long, dark hallway. Once again, like always, the only light visible was the one in his office. You slowly walked over, the door already being open. Hyunjin was the desk in the back, writing something down in a paper. You knocked and he glanced up, arching a brow at you.

“What are you doing out and about?” He asked.

“Wow, do you and Changbin share the same brain cell?” You asked with a small laugh.

He gave you a confused look, further arching his brow.

“He asked me the same thing.” You explained.

“Ah, I see.” He said, sitting back in his chair. “Well? Why are you out and about?”

“A girl can only take being bored for so long.” You sighed.

“Bored? Shouldn’t you be tired? Resting? In pain?” He asked.

“Hyunjin, it’s been over a week. It’s almost fully healed. I can never just sit around.” You said.

“You won’t have too much longer until you’re fully healed.” He pointed out, leaning back down and writing on the paper again.

“C’mon Hyunjin, can’t I at least go hunting? I heard Hoseok and Woobin talking about how they plan on going.” You pleaded.

“Why don’t you help Yuna with the kids? It won’t be a tidious task.” He said, not even looking up from the paper.

“Yuna’s good with kids, that’s her own thing.” You sighed.

“Then you should wait till you heal.” He said.

“Hyunjin come on, I need some action, I’m BORED.” You whined, dropping down and resting your chin on his desk.

He looked at you, slight irritation in his eyes.

“Y/N, you’re not healed. You’re not going anywhere.” He said firmly.

You made your eyes get bigger and poked your lip out. You would always jump away or cower when he seemed irritated, but for some reason, you found his intimidation cute today.

“The puppy dog eyes don’t work on me Y/N.” He said, his eyebrow arched.

“Fine. I’ll just stay in here and complain until you agree to let me do something.” You said.

He groaned and leaned back in his chair.

“Why can’t you just do what you’re told.” He sighed.

“Why can’t you just listen to me when I say I’m fine! Hyunjin please, I’m so bored and it’s starting to take a toll, look!” You pointed to the little bit of belly you got while laying around. “I’m gonna get fat Hyunjin, and then I’m gonna complain even more. Then I’m not gonna be able to run away from walkers, or do anything-“

“Alright!” He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “Just please stop talking.”

“Really?” You asked happily. “I annoyed you enough?”

“You annoyed me to the point where your voice is starting to give me a headache.” He groaned.

“Should I go see Woobin and Hoseok?” You pressed excitedly.

“I’m going too.” He said, looking at you. “I haven’t gotten out in a bit either.”

You excitedly threw you bow and arrows in the back of one of the black hummers, two guns strapped at either of your sides with your throwing knives in a holder attached to your bicep. Woobin and Hoseok put their own hunting gear into the back of the truck as well. Hyunjin suggested you all go together, making a better chance of catching more than one piece of prey.

You had more mouths to feed since the prison incident, and a lot of them were children. By what you heard around the grapevine, they had lost over half of their population, and just in one night. A lot of the children ended up orphans, like most of the people still alive.

You sat up front with Hyunjin as he drove out of the entrance, the gates closing behind the truck. The day was pretty warm, and you were shocked when Hyunjin opened the sun roof. The way the wind blew his hair made him look ethereal, like a model straight out of a magazine.

“Remember when we used to hunt with Ari, and she almost got us mauled by that bear?” Hoseok asked with a laugh.

“Oh my God, that’s the day we found out you had a girl scream.” You laughed.

“I do not!” Hoseok pouted.

“Do too! It was higher than Ari’s, and her voice was really high pitched!” You laughed.

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Hoseok huffed.

Woobin and Hyunjin chuckled, Woobin patting Hoseok’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, it’s pretty obvious you scream like a girl.” Woobin laughed.

“Can it old man.” Hoseok retorted.

“Hey, at least this old man doesn’t sound like a girl.”

You carefully set up the trap, leaving food on the ground along with the rope. You and Hyunjin took the normal spot, while Woobin and Hoseok found an older spot where you used to hunt. You took the straps that held your guns and placed them down, not wanting any noises coming from you if you had to move.

You both got into the same positions, your bow and arrow in hand, him behind the rock to observe you. You smiled at him and raised the bow.

“Do you wanna try?” You asked.

“You harassed me a little too much to be offering me a go.” He said.

You let out a low chuckle that was cut off when a twig snapped. You both looked up and saw two large bucks approaching the food you had left. You quickly steadied yourself, your mind working up a plan to snag both. You readied the arrows behind you, slowly drawing one back in the string of your bow. You quickly released it, catching one in the neck. You instantly grabbed another bow and shot, getting the other on the chest.

They both went down without a second bow being needed, and you sighed in relief and turned to Hyunjin with a big smile. He smiled back at you and stood up.

“I’m impressed, you were quick.” He praised you.

Your eyes brightened at his praise, and the smile he had didn’t falter. You both walked down the small hill and you examined both bucks, your eyes shining.

“They’re huge!” You said happily.

“I guess we chose a good time to come out.” He agreed.

You both were about to tie both buck’s legs together, when you heard rustling. You both looked up, and your heart sank when you saw a group of walkers. They were coming straight for the two of you, and you quickly felt around for your stuff, your heat stopping when you remembered you both had taken your equipment off while waiting for prey.

“Fuck.” Hyunjin hissed, pushing you behind him as he took out his gun.

He fired into the group of walkers as they began to fast approach the two of you, a couple of them falling. He went to back you away when you gasped, another group of walkers behind you. You heard Hyunjin curse and heard the clicks from his gun, his ammo empty.

“Fuck, Hyunjin what do we do?!” You gasped, tears in your eyes.

He wrapped his arms around you and backed you into a tree as the walkers began to close in. His arms held you tightly, your face in his chest.

Loud bangs made you both jump. You both looked up and watched walkers drop as gunshots rang out. Woobin and Hoseok were running up, their guns firing at the walkers.

“Get your weapons!” Woobin yelled.

Hyunjin grabbed your hand and pulled you to the top of the hill. A walker blocked your path, and Hyunjin quickly grabbed one of your knives and stabbed it in its skull. It quickly dropped and you both ran and grabbed your stuff. You stood at the top of the hill and shot your arrows into the walkers, Hyunjin’s gun firing beside you. You went to grab another arrow, and came to the realization that you had run out.

“Shit.” You hissed under your breath.

“It’s okay, there’s not many left.” Hyunjin said.

The last ones closed in on Woobin and Hoseok, however.

“Fuck!” Hoseok yelled, a walker over top of him.

It was snapping it’s jaws at him, inches away from his face. Woobin was shooting the ones around him, as the rest were after him. Hyunjin kept aiming for the one attacking Hoseok, but he couldn’t get a good shot.

“I’m gonna get them off of Woobin, then he’ll help you!” Hyunjin yelled, shooting at the walkers surrounding Woobin.

Hoseok had shoved his gun in the walkers mouth to keep it from biting him, and your adrenaline was pumping. You shakily reached for one of your guns, which you haven’t used in months. You lifted the gun that had been your favorite, a beautiful rose gold .500 handgun, made by one of the blacksmiths that had lived in your old village. You calmed your nerves, your hands no longer shaking as you shot the gun, the bullet going directly through the walkers skull, blowing part of it’s skull off.

You raised it again and shot at the walkers attacking Woobin, quickly helping him and Hyunjin fend them off. When the last one dropped, you slowly lowered your gun. Hyunjin looked at you, his eyes almost shining.

“You’ve got impressive aim.” He said with a smile.

You gave him a weak smile and headed down the hill. Hoseok was still on his back, panting dramatically.

“I swear every time we come in contact with walkers I get closer to being bit. I was this,” He said, holding his pointer finger and thumb closely together. “Close to being bitten.”

You shook your head with a smile as Woobin helped him get up, Hoseok brushing himself off. He looked at you and smiled brightly.

“I’m glad you used your gun again Y/N, or I would’ve been a goner.” He laughed, patting your shoulder.

You smiled and shook your head, putting your gun back in it’s holster. Woobin ruffled your hair as he walked by, a smile on his face.

“You really are good with a gun, Y/N.” He said.

“Thank you.” You said with a smile, bowing slightly.

“Did you manage to catch anything?” Hyunjin asked.

“Yeah, we’ve got a buck up by the water, but we heard your gunshots and knew something was up.” Woobin explained.

“Thank God you did, or we would’ve been goners.” Hyunjin said, a sigh of relief leaving his lips.

Woobin and Hoseok went and got their kill as you and Hyunjin tied the two you had and hauled them into the back of the hummer.

“I’m proud of you for using your gun.” Hyunjin said, a small smile on his face.

“Thanks.” You said with a small bow before getting in the car.

You used to love using your gun, until you had to turn it on some of the people you had called friends back in the old village. Even just the sounds of gunfire and thunder freaked you out. Today, however, you needed to protect your best friend. One of the only things you have left.

You sat in the front seat as Hoseok and Woobin lifted their kill into the back with your two kills. Hyunjin got in the drivers seat as the other two got into the back.

“Those are impressive kills. You both did really good.” Woobin praised.

“It was all Y/N, she’s the one that got them.” Hyunjin said.

You blushed as Woobin rubbed your shoulder.

“Thatta girl.” He said with a smile.

You smiled back as Hyunjin pulled away from the woods, heading back towards the amusement park. When you got back, your heart dropped. Two of the guard’s that were usually on duty were dead on the ground, and what seemed to be gunshot wounds adorned their bodies.

“Shit!” Hyunjin hissed, driving through the entrance.

When you all got out, survivors were everywhere. Injuries were bleeding, people were crying and screaming in pain.

“What the fuck happened?” Woobin asked.

“They came out of nowhere.” You all heard a raspy voice.

Minho limped towards you all, holding a gushing wound on his side.

“Oh God, Minho Hyung.” Hyunjin gasped.

Hyunjin stepped foreword and allowed him to lean against him, wrapping his arm over his shoulders.

“Where’s everyone else?” Hyunjin asked.

“Jeongin and Yuna took the children and hid them in the basement. I don’t know where anyone else went.” He rasped.

“Hyunjin! Minho!”

You all turned to see Chan, Jisung, and Changbin run over. They had blood on them, their eyes filled with shock.

“Seungmin and Woojin are okay, they were protecting the medical supplies.” Chan said.

“Where’s Felix?” You asked, your heart hammering through your chest.

Chan and Hyunjin’s faces dropped as they looked around, Chan a little more frantically.

“Felix!” He called. “Felix!”

“Y/N, come with me. We’ll find him.” Woobin said, nodding to Chan for him to help the others.

You and Woobin ran in the direction of the theme park, calling for Felix. No response was coming, and you could feel tears prick your eyes.

Please no, please don’t take Felix.

“Y/N! Over here!” Woobin called.

You quickly ran over and saw a little bundle under a fallen tiki bar, and you quickly pushed it all off. Felix was laying there, his eyes closed, blood all over his face. You quickly shook his shoulder, fear filling your chest.

“Felix! Felix please wake up!” You yelled.

Felix let out a small cough and his eyes fluttered open. He turned to you, blinking slowly.

“... Is it over?” He croaked.

“Yes, they’re gone.” Woobin reassured him.

Woobin pushed away the rest of the rubble and lifted Felix over his shoulder, his eyes turning to you.

“We don’t know if it’s clear, so keep a look out while we get him to the center.” He instructed.

You nodded and followed him, your gun in your hand. When you safely got back to the center, you saw relief in Chan’s eyes as Woobin placed Felix into a sitting position. Chan walked over and bent down, pulling him into a hug.

“I’m glad you’re safe, brother.” He said.

Felix smiled and leaned on Chan, relief in both of their eyes. Changbin walked over and dropped beside him too, pressing his face into Felix’s shoulder.

“Y/N!”

You looked over and saw Yuna walking towards you, her large eyes filled with shock and fear.

“Are you okay? Are the boys okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, we’re fine.” You reassured her.

“I bet you are! You left us here unsupervised, and look at this mess!” One of the male survivors yelled, stepping up and getting in your face.

“Hey, that’s not her fault.” Yuna said.

“Shut up. You left us here without a leader or anything at all! We were sitting ducks!” He yelled in your face.

“Sir, please calm down.” You said, trying to soothe him.

“Shut up bitch! You deserve to be the one shot! Not any of these people!” He yelled.

“You shouldn’t talk to someone like that.” You said, your voice faltering.

“You’re nothing but a useless bitch!” The man yelled, raising his fist.

You closed your eyes tightly, a smacking sound filling your ears. You lifted your head and saw Hyunjin standing in front of you, his dark eyes narrowed on the man, his lip bleeding.

“If you want to blame someone, blame me.” Hyunjin said.

The man stared at him for a moment, before getting mad again.

“You know what, you’re right! You’re not a good leader! You left us here undefended!” He yelled, throwing his fist at Hyunjin again.

You flinched as it made contact with Hyunjin’s cheek, as he didn’t try to block it. You looked up at Hyunjin, who had a haunted look in his eyes. His lip was dripping blood and a red mark was on his cheek.

“My wife is dead because of you!” The man yelled, punching his face again.

You grit your teeth and shoved yourself between the two of them, smacking your gun off the mans head. The man fell back on his ass, looking at you in shock and holding his head.

“How dare you call Hyunjin a bad leader! How dare you blame him for all these deaths! You all depend so much on a few guys. You guys do nothing but cower and hide when it’s convenient! Why don’t you pick up a fucking gun and learn how to defend yourself instead of depending on him to protect you all the time!” You yelled. “You’re nothing but a coward, and you’ve done nothing to help out this place! While we’re out risking our lives to feed you guys and get the supplies you need, you just laze around!”

The man went to open his mouth, when you raised your gun to him.

“One more word and I’ll blow your tongue off.” You growled.

He fell silent, and so did the other survivors. You were right, your little group of people risked your lives almost every day for them, while they did nothing. Most of the women farmed, but other survivors did nothing.

“If you think Hyunjin is such a bad leader, then leave. No one’s making you stay here.” You said.

The man was silent as he got up, clutching his bleeding head. You turned to Hyunjin, who’s eyes were blank as he looked down. Both of his cheeks had red marks from the man punching them, and his lip was split open.

“You should get Jeongin to look at your face.” You said, reaching your hand out to him.

He waved your hand off and walked away, a gloomy aura around him. Changbin stood up and gave you a reassuring look.

“I’ll go talk to him.” He said, walking after Hyunjin.

You helped Jeongin and Yuna patch up everyone that was injured. You were working on an elderly woman’s leg injury, when her soft hand came up to your jaw and lifted it.

“You’re doing a good job, dear. I don’t care what that man says, Hyunjin has always protected us. And I’m glad you came along and protect us too.” She said with a kind smile.

“Thank you so much.” You said, holding her hand.

She smiled brightly at you as you continued to help patch everyone up, your body starting to feel tired. You heard the door to the little infirmary open, and Hyunjin’s face was in view. He looked around at all of the injured survivors, the haunted look back in his eyes. He made eye contact with you and backed out of the door. You finished your last patient and went after him, jogging out into the cool night.

“Hyunjin!” You called.

He stopped for a moment, then turned around. You could see his face under the lamp outside, he looked so defeated. You stepped up to him, your eyes meeting his.

“Don’t listen to what that man said. You’re an amazing leader.” You said.

He didn’t say anything, he just turned away. He went to walk away, but you wrapped your arms around him from behind, your face in his back.

“I know you blame yourself Hyunjin, but you can’t be two places at once. You’ve risked your life for them the most, and you’ve kept them alive all this time. This stuff happens, and it would’ve happened if you were here or not. So don’t blame yourself, you all tried your best.” You said softly into his back.

He remained silent, he didn’t move away from your touch or anything. He just stood there.

“And thank you for earlier. You got hurt defending me.” You whispered, burying your face into his back. “Not many people would do that for someone else.”

He allowed you to stay like that for a moment, before pulling away. He turned his head towards you, a weak smile on his face.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

The next morning, you woke up to a commotion outside. You quickly got yourself ready and ran out the door, heading to the center. You nearly ran into Hoseok, who gave you a smile.

“Hey, I was just about to come get you. Hyunjin wants us all in the square.” He said.

You nodded and followed him, noticing all of the survivors were making their way towards the same destination. You saw Hyunjin standing on the stairs that led up to the massive tower, Changbin and Chan below it.

“Last night was a disaster, and I’m very sorry I wasn’t here to defend all of you, or our home.” He started, his eyes scanning the crowd. “As many of you know, they destroyed a lot of our food supply and other necessities we need. It seems as though they were looting.”

Murmurs of agreement went throughout the crowd, as many of them had watched the attackers leave with supplies.

“I’m going to bring a team with me to get more supplies from a town Chan had told me about. Woojin, Seungmin, and Jisung will remain here and on guard. Felix is injured at the moment, but he’ll be healed and ready to bounce back in a few days.” Hyunjin said.

“I’ll be taking Changbin, Minho, Chan, Woobin, Hoseok, Jeongin, and Y/N with me to collect these supplies. We should be back before sun down.” Hyunjin said.

Minho’s coming with? He was hurt more than Felix.

You felt happy to be apart of the team to get supplies, and when the meeting was over, you ran to your cottage and loaded your guns. You had used one the day before, and you knew it was safer, for you and the people you care about. You inhaled deeply, calming yourself as you loaded up your guns and put the safety lock on, sliding more ammo in the bag you keep around your thigh.

You jogged over to one of the hummer’s, getting in the front seat beside Hyunjin. Woobin and Hoseok hopped in the back, Minho sliding in after. His movements seemed really slow, and you noticed Hyunjin eyeing him.

“Minho Hyung, if you’re hurt-” He started, but was cut off by Minho waving him off.

“I’m fine.” He said firmly.

Hyunjin fell silent, but you caught the look of concern and irritation in his eyes. He slowly pulled out of the entrance, following Chan’s truck that held him, Changbin, and Jeongin.

“How far did he say the town was?” Woobin asked.

“He said it was a little further than the prison, so it should only take about a half hour.” Hyunjin replied, his eyes on the road.

He followed Chan’s every turn, the prison coming into view. You all fell silent as you passed, and you noticed just how many walkers were there. Seeing that many out during the day made your stomach turn. You were truly never safe.

You stepped out of the truck and looked around the small town. It was bigger than the last two, and definitely had more options and stores. You grabbed your weapons and walked over to where the others were standing. You felt the hairs on your body stand up, and you looked around anxiously. Hoseok looked at you, tilting his head to the side.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I don’t know it feels like we’re being... Watched.” You said warily.

He chuckled and rubbed your back, trying to soothe your anxious mind.

“Don’t worry, we’ll protect you.” He laughed.

You looked up at Minho, who winced as he went to move his gun out of the way.

“Hyung-” Jeongin started.

Minho gave him a look and he closed his mouth. Hyunjin loaded his gun and swung it over his shoulder.

“Minho, Jeongin, Chan, and I will take this half of the town. You guys take that half.” Hyunjin instructed.

You all nodded and split up in your groups. You followed Changbin and Woobin as they walked into a small super market. You covered your nose at the smell of the rotten fruits and vegetables.

“Gross.” Hoseok mumbled, plugging his nose.

“You two are such princess’.” Changbin said with a smile.

“I’m a queen, thank you very much.” Hoseok said with an “a matter of fact” attitude.

You all laughed as you went down the aisles. You found a bunch of nonperishables and filled your bag. You slowly stood up and stopped, the feeling of being watched making anxiety eat at you. You began to walk to the end of the aisle, where Hoseok was triumphantly holding a bottle of alcohol.

“I found some nonperishables.” He laughed.

You giggled, about to approach him, when something hit him in the head. He grunted and held his head as it came down and hit him again.

“What the fuck?!” He yelled as a man leaped on top of him, shoving a bat up to his throat.

“Hoseok!” You gasped, running over to him.

You felt yourself being tackled and thrown onto the ground. A woman with crazy red hair was glaring down at you, her hands clutching your throat tightly. You hooked your legs under hers and rolled her off of you, getting up and running over to where Hoseok was struggling with the man twice his size. You felt her hand grab your foot and you fell over, a sharp pain in your calf as she stabbed into your thigh with a dull knife. You hissed in pain and kicked her square in her face, making her scream in pain as you broke her nose.

You scrambled up, blood dripping down your leg as you ran over to Hoseok. Just when you were about to reach him, the woman got a hold of you again, this time dragging her dull knife down and almost getting your throat.

“Y/N!” Hoseok called, trying desperately to get away from the man fighting him.

The woman’s knife was so close to your throat, when an idea popped into your head. Her face was close to your own, blood dripping down from her nose. You slammed your forehead into her nose. She screeched and backed away as you got up, backing into the shelf. She held her nose and glared at you, her eyes wild as she ran at you. You quickly grabbed one of your knives and just barely got away from her own, before you slammed your knife into her, it going through her eye. Her body went limp and fell over yours, and you shakily pushed her off. You never had to kill a human before.

You shakily got up, the world spinning as you saw Woobin appear, a tomahawk in his hand as he brought it down on the man’s head. You heard it break his skull, blood squirting as he collapsed. You all panted as Woobin helped Hoseok up. Changbin ran over to you and helped you up, checking you all over. Before he could open his mouth, gunshots were heard outside.

“The other’s!” He gasped, running out of the supermarket.

You grabbed your bag and ran after them, bringing your gun out of it’s holster. You all ran around the buildings, until you saw Hyunjin. He had blood splattered across his shirt, his knife dug into another man’s chest as they struggled. The man slammed him on the ground, knocking the wind out of Hyunjin. The man ripped the knife out of his chest and raised it high. You lifted your gun and fired two shots, one hitting him in the face, the other in the chest. He fell off of Hyunjin and Hyunjin got up, panting.

“Are you all okay?” He asked.

You nodded, looking him up and down. He had slashed on his arms and one across his chest, and you felt relieved the one on his chest looked like it had just skimmed him.

“We’re fine, but look at you.” You said.

“I’m fine. Have you seen Minho, Chan, or Jeongin?” He asked.

“We’re here.” Chan said, holding Minho up.

“Oh my God, Minho!” You gasped.

You were about to approach them when Woobin came crashing out of a store, landing hard on his back. Four people appeared, guns and other weapons in their hands. You and Hoseok quickly raised your guns as Woobin was able to roll behind another wall, pulling his other gun from his hip. The man in the middle fired first, aiming for you. Hyunjin pushed you over and it missed the both of you. You both hid behind a huge crate as gunfire rained around the area. You quickly shot up, holding your gun up in front of you. You froze when you saw the tallest man holding Jeongin hostage, his arm around his throat.

“Let him go.” You said calmly, slowly approaching them.

“Y/N don’t!” Hyunjin hissed.

“We don’t have to kill each other.” You said calmly, still approaching.

The man fired at you, nearly hitting your shoulder. You jumped but remained calm.

“Please, you don’t have to-”

You all froze when you heard the terrible sounds. You turned your head as a hoard of walkers was approaching you all, the gunshots having alerted them of human presence. The man shoved Jeongin on the ground and their group ran as the walkers closed in.

“Shit!” You yelled, firing into the mass of walkers.

Woobin, Hoseok, Hyunjin, Chan, and Changbin all raised their guns and fired. Jeongin was with Minho, pressing a piece of his shirt that he ripped off too a deep gash that Minho had ripped open after it had been stitched.

“Fuck!” You heard Woobin yell as you all were being pushed back by the hoard.

“Keep firing!” Hyunjin yelled.

You heard more gunshots and looked behind you, Minho was shooting his gun, leaned against a wall as Jeongin shot beside him. Your gun clicked but didn’t shoot, and you quickly grabbed more ammo, your hands shaky. A walker came upon Hyunjin, grabbing him and slamming him down. His gun dropped as he fell, and all he could do was hold the walker away from his face. You fumbled with your ammo, panicking as Hyunjin was struggling to hold the walker away. Hoseok ran up and knocked the walker off, struggling for a moment before he shot it’s head. It fell over and he turned over and got up, shooting at the last part of the approaching hoard.

Hyunjin grabbed his gun and shot at the walkers around you all, until everything fell silent. All of the walkers laid on the ground, their body parts strewn everywhere. You quickly looked at Hyunjin.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

He nodded as everyone came out of their places. Changbin quickly helped Chan support Minho, and you felt relieved he was alright.

“Hoseok, let’s head back to the truck.” Woobin called.

You looked up to where Hoseok was standing, your heart completely stopping when he turned around. A huge bite mark was on his throat, blood gushing from it. Everyone was frozen to their spots, not a single word left anyone’s mouth. Tears poured down your face as you stepped foreword, but Hoseok backed away.

“Stay away Y/N.” He said, his voice cracking as tears slipped past his eyes.

“Hoseok... Please, no.” You whimpered.

You were just about to run to him, when Woobin grabbed you and held you to him tightly. He looked at Hoseok, a look of grief in his eyes as he looked at him. Hyunjin stepped foreword, a lump in his throat.

“Hoseok, I-”

“It’s okay.” Hoseok said with a sad smile, tears spilling down his cheeks. “Protect her, okay?”

Hoseok raised his own gun to his head and you struggled against Woobin, who quickly turned you around and pulled your face into his chest.

“Hoseok!-”

BANG.

A loud sob fell from your lips as you heard the gunshot. Hoseok had killed himself before he reanimated. You heard Woobin’s ragged breathing, his eyes closed tight, his jaw clenched in anger.

Hyunjin slowly walked over to his body, his knees giving out as he landed next to Hoseok. His eyes were open, his dark orbs fixed on the sun. Hyunjin bowed his head, biting his lip harshly.

“Why did you give your life for me... You didn’t even like me.” Hyunjin whispered.

You were a sobbing mess in Woobin’s arms, your whole world crumbling. Minho limped over to you both, putting his hand on Woobin’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry.” He rasped, choking back his own tears.

You pulled away from Woobin, slowly walking over to where Hoseok laid. You dropped to your knees near his head, lifting it onto your lap. Your fingers gently slid over his face, closing his eyes as your tears soaked his paling face.

“You idiot.” You sobbed. “You promised you’d always be here.”

Hyunjin was silent as he stood up, his eyes hollow.

“Get everything in the trucks.” He ordered.

The others nodded as he bent down beside you, pulling you up.

“We have to go.” He said.

“I’m not leaving him here like this!” You yelled at him.

“Who said we’re leaving him here?” He asked.

You shakily stood up as Hyunjin crouched down, lifting Hoseok’s body over his shoulder. He winced as blood oozed out of his wounds, but he pushed it back as he carried your beloved best friend back to the truck for the last time.

You felt empty as you sat in front of the newly dug earth where Hoseok laid. Everyone had come again, as he had helped many of them since your arrival. You sat with your knees to your chest, tears endlessly falling from your eyes.

“Why did you have to be so selfless? Why couldn’t you think of yourself for once?” You asked his grave, before turning to Kin’s. “You too, Kin. Why did you both have to go?”

You buried your face into your knees, your body feeling limp and tired. You heard something beside you and you raised your head as Hyunjin sat down beside you, his eyes troubled. You both remained silent as his eyes stayed focused on Hoseok’s grave.

“I’m so sorry about your friend.” He said lowly.

You didn’t say anything, you just stared blankly ahead of you.

“I really am Y/N.” He whispered.

“What do I do now?” You asked as fresh tears streamed down your cheeks. “He was all I had left.”

You felt Hyunjin grab your face, his hands oddly gentle.

“You have all of us, Y/N. I know it’s hard, I know. I know it hurts, but you have to live for them.” He said, not caring that your tears soaked his hands.

“Kin died because of me.” You sobbed.

Hyunjin pulled your head into his shoulder, his hand in your hair as the other supported his weight as he crouched in front of you.

“He didn’t die BECAUSE of you, Y/N. He died protecting you. And just like Woobin said; he died a hero. Don’t take that from him.” He said softly. “He gave his life so you could live, don’t let that sacrifice go to waste.”

You nodded as you pulled away and wiped your tears, your eyes finally meeting his.

“Hoseok gave his life for me earlier... I should’ve been more prepared.” Hyunjin said lowly.

“It’s not your fault Hyunjin. Like you said,” You started with a small smile. “He died a hero, don’t take that from him.”

Hyunjin smiled at you as he got up and stretched his hand out to you. You slowly took it, your legs numb from sitting in the same spot for hours.

"Woobin is taking it really hard. I think you’re the only one that can talk to him.” He said.

You nodded and followed him to a small hut where Woobin was gutting a deer, his knife aggressively cutting it open. You slowly walked in, a lump in your throat.

“Woobin?”

He stopped and slightly turned his head, his expression stoic.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“I’m fine.” He said flatly, turning back to the deer.

You fell silent as he rummaged around for something. You flinched when he threw a box against the wall.

“Nothings ever where it’s supposed to be! That fucking kid dies and doesn’t tell me where he put everything! He thinks he can just die and not be responsible!’ He yelled, throwing other shit around.

You quickly walked over to him and hugged him from behind, burying your face into his back.

“Woobin... It’s okay to be upset.” You said.

His body relaxed as you heard a small sob leave his lips, his shoulders shaking.

“He hated me so much at first... Then he acted like my son, and I started to treat him as one... Now this..” He sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect him.”

You buried your face into his back, tears slipping past your eyes.

“He was my best friend too.” He sobbed, covering his face with his hands.

“We’ll get through this.” You whispered. “We’ll get through this together.”

#hwang hyunjin #stray kids hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin zombie au #skz hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids #straykids #stray kids imagines #stray kids zombie au #skz imagines #skz

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winchester-fantasies · 5 years

Text

Until My Dying Breath

Summary: The Mark has changed Dean and taken its toll on him and your relationship. Will you ever come back to him?

Word Count: 2841

Warnings: angst, swearing, smut, fluff

Pairing: MOC!Dean x Reader

Winchester Fantasies’ Masterlist

The first thing he noticed through the haze of sleep was the quiet. It was deafening. He rolled over, his hand reaching to the other side of the bed - her side. It was cold and empty.

He jerked out of bed and fumbled for the lamp. The room was flooded with light, and he squinted against it, silently cursing as his eyes struggled to adjust. He glanced around the room desperately, trying to find something, anything to indicate she was still there.

Finding nothing, he jumped out of bed and practically ran down the hall, silently praying she’d be sitting in the library doing research as she so often did. She always said 2:00 a.m. was her hour of inspiration.

Panic took over when he found the library dark and empty. He hurried to the kitchen, flipping on the light and searching wildly even though he already knew she wasn’t there.

His eyes fell to the counter, settling on a piece of paper. He picked it up with trembling hands. It was a note - a simple one: “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

“Son of a bitch!” he shouted, pounding his fist on the counter. He swung around, jerking pots and pans from the hooks over the island and throwing them against the wall, each one making a dent. He shoved bowls, plates, and cups off the metal shelves, the ceramic shattering on the concrete floor.

He leaned heavily against the island, his breathing labored. His heart beat hard as rage pumped through his veins. He glanced down to the Mark on his arm, angry and red. He wished he could take his knife and carve it out of his skin. But this godforsaken Mark wouldn’t let him.

He had warned her it would change him. She reassured him she could take it. He told her to leave. She had stayed. He promised he’d never hurt her. She had believed him. Now she was gone.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice broke through his thoughts. “You okay?”

“She’s gone,” he choked out.

“What? Why?” Sam asked incredulously.

Dean shoved the note into his brother’s hand. Sam’s eyes roved the paper, his lips silently mouthing the words. He frowned and turned it over. Finding nothing on the other side, he looked back to Dean, confusion written on his face. “What is this about?” he asked.

“What do you think, Sammy?” Dean barked, motioning to his arm.

“The Mark,” Sam stated as if it weren’t already blaringly obvious.

Dean ran his fingers through his hair roughly. “Fuck, I knew this would happen,” he lamented gruffly.

“What exactly did happen?” Sam asked, still not entirely following.

“I…. Fuck, Sam! I hurt her!” Dean shouted.

Sam’s eyes darkened. “How?” he asked, his voice low.

“I…we were in the library. She…she said something that really pissed me off.” He let out an angry chuckle. “I can’t even remember what she said. Shows just how petty I was being.”

His face hardened. “I hit her, Sam. I hit her hard. She was bleeding. And crying. I…I couldn’t stand to see her cry so I left her alone. I didn’t even try to apologize or see if she was alright.” He looked to Sam, his eyes wide with anguish. “What kind of boyfriend am I, Sam, that I don’t even check to see if my girl is okay?”

“Not a very good one,” Sam said. Dean flinched at his brother’s brashness, but he didn’t argue. He knew Sam was right.

Dean groaned as he leaned against the island again, his forehead resting on the cold metal surface. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do without her, Sam,” he said in bewilderment.

“Just give her a few days. She might just need some time to cool off,” Sam said. Sam was always the peacemaker, and the one who saw the good in every situation. Normally Dean found comfort in his brother’s encouragement. But this time Dean found little solace in his brother’s words.

Dean shook his head. “I don’t think so. It’s too late.”

**********

Two weeks. Two long, agonizing weeks. That’s how long she’d been gone. Sam had tried to track her phone, and they had even used Bobby’s old tracking spell. When neither of those worked, they turned to Cas. But even that turned up nothing. It didn’t surprise him that she knew every move in the book. Dean had taught her well.

He leaned back against Baby’s hood, her cold metal matching the iciness in his heart. He raised the bottle to his lips and took a long and generous gulp. The whiskey strung on the way down, but it was nothing compared to the ache in his heart.

He threw the bottle to the ground, and the glass shattered against the rocks that sat only a few feet away. He looked around him, at the wide open field before him, the forest that sat on either side of him, the cloudless sky and the moon that hung low. This was where they had first consummated their love, where they both realized the passing brushes and lingering glances were more than casual flirting, more than just friends.

He took out another bottle and chugged. His head was buzzing and things were starting to get a little hazy, but it didn’t matter how much he tried to drown himself in alcohol. Nothing seemed to numb the pain.

He thought he had loved Cassie and Lisa. He really did. But nothing could have prepared him for this. This was on a whole ‘nother level, one so deep he was finding it hard to swim or make sense of anything. She was his life preserver, and the one light that shone in the shit show that was his life. But without her, he didn’t know if he really wanted to live.

He took out his phone and fumbled with the screen. He pulled up her name, and his heart seized up when he saw her caller ID. She was so beautiful. She was always so insecure and critical of herself, and no matter how many times he tried to convince her otherwise, she never fully believed him. But she would always be the most beautiful and precious treasure to him.

His fingers hovered over the call button. Should he? Sam would probably tell him no. That she needed space and that he’d only be complicating things. Well, to hell with space!

He hit the button and raised the phone to his ear with trembling hands. It rang one…two…three times. He began to lose his nerve. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Just when he was about to give up there was a click on the other line.

“Hello?” she said, and his breath hitched. Her words were unceremonious and monotone, but her voice was about the prettiest sound he’d ever heard. He wasn’t even sure what to compare it to. Maybe like that symphony she’d shown him that one time or maybe like the gentle rain that fell around them when they had shared their first kiss.

He must have remained silent too long because she sighed heavily. “Dean, I’m hanging up.”

“No, no, please!” he begged. At any other time he would have kicked himself for sounding so needy, but right now he didn’t give a damn how he sounded. He needed her to know how lost he was without her.

Silence met his plea, and his stomach dropped. Had she hung up anyway? “(Y/N)?” he whispered, hoping against hope that he was wrong.

“What do you want?” she asked bluntly, and relief washed over him.

“I…I don’t know,” he said.

“Then there’s no reason to stay on the line,” she stated.

“Wait!” he demanded, his voice ringing out in the open air. “Can…can we talk?”

She didn’t answer, and he was almost certain she never would. But then she sighed. “Not on the phone,” she said. “Meet me at that little coffee shop outside of town. The one with our favorite pie.” His heart leapt at her use of the word ‘our.’

“The place where we had our first date,” he said softly.

“Yeah,” she whispered, and he could have sworn her voice quivered just a little. “Be there at 10:00 tomorrow,” she said quickly before hanging up.

**********

He walked into the coffee shop, requesting the table near the back. He ordered coffee before he settled back in his chair. She hadn’t arrived yet, and he kept bouncing his leg as he waited impatiently.

He took a sip of coffee and pulled out his phone, opening the file Sam had sent him. Maybe if he read up about their new case, he wouldn’t be such a basket case when she finally did arrive.

He was two pages in when the bell over the coffee shop door tinkled. He looked up, and his heart nearly stopped. There she was. Just as beautiful and radiant as ever.

Her eyes scanned the crowd until they landed on him. He sent her a half-hearted smile, but she didn’t return it, instead casting her gaze to the floor. She walked over to the table, her shoulders slumped. Anguish and self-loathing filled his mind as he realized he was the cause. He was the reason she was so broken.

“Hey,” he whispered as she settled down across from him. She looked up at him. Her eyes were red and bloodshot like she’d been crying too much, and if the dark circles under them were any indication, she hadn’t slept in days.

“Hi,” she rasped. Her eyes were down again. She played with the strings on her hoodie absentmindedly, feigning interest in the slightly worn out tabletop.

“You hungry?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Not really,” she said, but he doubted it was true. Her face looked a bit thinner, like she hadn’t eaten properly since she’d left. She probably hadn’t. She was always so selfless. Always putting him and Sam first, forgetting about herself and her own needs. He’d always have to remind her to eat and drink. But he didn’t press her this time. He’d make sure she was taken care of right after they took care of the elephant in the room.

“I’m really sorry about the other night,” he said, wasting no time in getting right to the point. She appreciated transparency and despised when people beat around the bush.

She looked up at him again. His eyes searched hers, but her face was unreadable. “Me, too,” she breathed.

He frowned. “There’s no reason for you to apologize. You did nothing wrong.”

A tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly swiped it away, almost as if she didn’t have the right to feel hurt. “I made you upset. I promised I’d be there for you; help you through this. I just wanted to be your comfort, Dean. But I only made things worse for you.”

His heart nearly broke that she felt so responsible for what happened. She looked down again, but he reached across and took her hand. She didn’t hold it, but she didn’t pull away.

He squeezed her hand gently. “Look at me, (Y/N),” he whispered. He swallowed past the lump in her throat when her eyes met his once more, hurt swimming in their (Y/E/C) depths.

He forced a smile. “Listen to me, and listen good. None of what’s happened the last few months or the other night was your fault. None of it,” he emphasized. “It’s all me. It’s all because of this god-damned Mark!” he spat out. She flinched at his tone and quickly withdrew her hand from his, shrinking back into the chair.

Where was the badass and fiery hunter he knew? Wherever she was, this wasn’t her.

“I know the Mark hasn’t taken a toll just on me, but on you, too,” he said quietly. “But, baby, I don’t want us to give up. I want us to keep fighting this, and fighting for each other. I don’t want you to give up on me,” he said desperately.

Her eyes shot up to meet his, piercing his very depths. He caught a glimpse of the fighter he loved so much as her eyes flashed. “I’ve never given up on you, Dean!” she stated, her voice cracking from the exertion of trying to maintain control of her emotions. “And I’m not about to give up now!”

“But, Dean,” she said, sobering. “I can’t stay with you if you’re only going to keep hurting me.”

He looked to the table. What was he supposed to say to that? He couldn’t promise he’d never hurt her again. He placed his hand on his forearm, heat from the Mark penetrating his heavy jacket and flannel. He couldn’t promise anything when this thing dictated his every emotion.

“I can’t promise that,” he breathed. She nodded, her eyes welling with tears that she tried hopelessly to hold back. “But I promise I’ll try,” he said, desperate to give her something to hold on to.

“Everyday is a battle,” he continued. “But it’s one I’m willing to fight if it means I’ll have you by my side. With you, everything makes sense. You’re the missing piece that keeps everything in alignment. You’re the only thing that makes sense to me anymore, (Y/N). And without you, I’m not sure that even the Mark could keep me alive.”

“Dean,” she said, her voice trembling. “To try is all I ask.” She reached across the table and took his hand, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. And for the first time since she’d walked inside, he saw her smile.

**********

Before either of them could really register what was happening, they were in a motel room. He had her pressed against the door while he kissed her needily. If felt like months since he’d seen her even though it had only been weeks, and his hunger for her was insatiable.

Her hands wound around his neck as his fingers fumbled with the button on her jeans. He pushed them and her panties down in one fell swoop, and she quickly stepped out of them, kicking them into the corner.

He placed his knee between her legs, spreading them wide, and she bucked against it, moaning as his jeans made contact with her sensitive clit. He removed his leg, replacing it with his hand. His fingers slid past her swollen bud and dipped inside, coating them with her wetness. She shuddered as his fingers briefly touched her sweet spot, and she gasped when he began to stroke her clit. Within moments she was cumming, his name a prayer on her lips.

She was breathing hard when he captured her lips in his own. Her hand found his throbbing erection, and he bucked into her palm until he was on the precipice of release. “Need to be inside you. Now,” he panted. She nodded and released him. He turned her around and started backing her up towards the bed. But they never made it.

Her hands gripped his shoulders, and her back rubbed roughly against the stained and mildewy carpet as he pounded into her relentlessly. Her walls were a soft cocoon of velvet, and he wondered if someone could die from ecstasy.

His hands found her legs, cupping the underside of her knees and bringing her legs around his waist. The new position afforded him a better angle, and he knew he’d found her sweet spot as she arched her back and moaned, the sound breathy and wanton.

“Almost. There,” she breathed, and he pressed on harder and more ardently. He was determined to show her how much he needed her, how much he loved her.

She came hard, her walls clenching around him, his name a cry of praise on her lips. Her legs shook as he came inside her, his warm seed filling her to the brim.

He fell on top of her, his head coming to rest in the crook of her neck. He whispered a litany of sweet nothings while her hands paved trails over his sweaty back and up his neck, fingers weaving through his hair.

He pulled out once he was limp, and he got up, his legs shaky. He picked her up bridal style, carried her to the bed, and laid her down gently. He placed a soft kiss to her brow before going to the bathroom. He returned with a damp cloth, and he cleaned her up with tender ministrations.

He tossed the cloth into the corner before climbing into bed, pulling the blanket over them both. He snuggled under the covers, pulling her close to him and giving her a loving kiss.

She laid her head on his chest, her fingers brushing his skin while his stroked her hip. His eyes grew heavy, and he was on the verge of sleep when she spoke, her voice quiet but strong. “I’m going to fight, too. For you. For us. Until I can’t fight anymore. Until my dying breath.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading!

***Please do not share my content on any other platform without my consent.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester smut #supernatural fanfiction

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