#verbal abuse survivor

[neuroticboyfriend]

abusiveness and predation is not unique to men. abusive women (and the abuse of men for that matter) are much, much more common than you think. if your support for abuse survivors only extends to women or people who were abused by men, you don't actually support survivors.

so to all the survivors who aren't women, and the survivors whose abusers weren't men: i believe you, and i see you. you deserve to be safe and supported. you are not alone. your pain and suffering matters just as much as others' does. what happened to you is just as awful, and i'm wishing you so much healing and happiness.

#softspoonie #abuse #abuse survivor #feminism #feminist #patriarchy #abusive relationships #sa #csa survivor #sa survivor #verbal abuse #mental abuse #child abuse #emotional abuse #physical abuse #parental abuse #trauma #traumatized #ptsd #cptsd #survivor #trauma victim #abuse victim #intersectional feminism #intersectionality #domestic abuse #partner abuse #domestic violence

[secretlykoishi]

i was a child

everything i was, was something you hated

but you always said you loved me

i wish you’d said you hated me

because that would be easier

than believing you cared

everything you did to me still defines me

all of the pain and the misery

you were the only one i could have trusted

and you used that against me

i was a child

i didn’t deserve that

#abuse survivor #parental abuse #child abuse #emotional abuse #mental abuse #verbal abuse #narcissistic abuse #actually abused #actuallyabused #actually traumatized #actuallytraumatized #childhood trauma #trauma #ptsd #trauma poetry #trauma poem #poetry #abuse poetry

[whatwedoinsilence]

Abuse comes in waves. So does pain.

You spent months being civil with each other, kind even. They do things for you, buy you clothes, groceries, say nice things and ask about your day. And you start to forget. You start to feel guilty. Why did I hate them? Why was I angry? Why did I want to leave? That was awfully mean of me. They need me. If I leave, they'll be all alone.

Then it all comes crashing down. One little thing lights up the flames and sparks a reaction. It happens fast, but feels like it lasts a lifetime. They say "things they didn't really mean", they "let anger get the best of them", and you're at the receiving end, scared, alone and not able to react.

And you start to remember. You place this memory with all the others, like a bunch of crystal ornaments on a shelf. You start noticing the patterns. You even make excuses for them. I was too loud, too aggressive, too mean. I deserved it. I deserve this.

Hours later, when you're safe and sound in your room, the reaction finally hits. You cry and sob, you want to scream but know you can't. You want to leave but have nowhere to go. You have no choice but to stay put and feel the pain. The pain from this moment and all the others that preceeded it. The pain from all the chances you had to leave but didn't take. The pain from all the instances you believed they changed.

And you know, once they wake up, it'll be like it never happened. Kind words and kind gestures, all over again. And you have no choice but to play along, otherwise who knows what might happen.

Every week. Every month. Every year. A new little crystal ornament for my collection. A new memory for me to obsess over and try to prove to myself that it wasn't that bad, that I barely got hurt, that it could've been worse.

I wonder how long it'll take for the next ornament to arrive. I wonder if I'll have enough space for it on the shelve.

#child abuse survivor #living with your abuser #abusive mother #abusive father #abusive parents #abusive relationship #verbal abuse #physical abuse #emotional abuse #narcissistic behavior #surviving narcissism #narcissist mother #narcissist parents #narc abuse

[unicorn-onion]

I believe in the kindness of strangers and the cruelty of family.

unicorn_onion

#found family #moving out #quote by me #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #spilledink #toxic family #emotional abuse #neglect #abandonment #trauma #kindness of strangers #teen poet #community #family #abuse survivor #gaslighting #manipulation #verbal abuse #independence #quotes #daddy issues #i know that you got daddy issues and i do too

[voidxbrat]

When you really start to realize how fucked up the things that happened to you were, and then you can’t understand how you were able to pretend it was normal or not that big of deal for so long. Like what.

#traumatic childhood #actually traumatized #trauma survivor #trauma #childhood abuse #emotional abuse #mental abuse #physical abuse #verbal abuse #tw csa #did osdd #actually did #dissociative identity disorder #Asrael tag

[queerism1969]

#radical feminism #intersectional feminism #feminism #liberal feminism #male violence #patriarchy #gender roles #misandry #radical feminists please touch #feminist #domestic violene helplines #domestic violene poem #domestic terrorism #domestic discipline #domestic violent relationships #narcissistic abuse #verbal abuse #abuse survivor #abuse victim #emotional abuse

[nightqueen1221]

Can u please do tsuchigomori with a student reader (platonic, obviously) who comes out to him about being abused? I'm sorry if this makes u uncomfortable I understand this is a sensitive topic :)) ty!

Don't worry! I'll write most sensitive topics, I'll put a disclaimer how it might incorrect though!

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, obviously

-He always kinda noticed you were distant from people.

-At first he thought you were shy or just didn't want to talk to people, and he left you alone.

-One day, he heard crying from a bathroom, he couldn't make out who it was, so he knocked and asked the person to come out.

-Low and behold, it was you. Tears falling down your face, puffy eyes, shaking, you get the idea.

-He didn't know why you would be so upset. He than began to think, were you being bullied and this is why you were sad?

-Was it something at home?

-He pulled out a handkerchief and walked with you to his classroom.

-He stayed with you till you calmed down, and said it would be best to explain it to him once you're done.

-After calming down, you started explaining how you were treated so poorly by people, abused

-It made him remember one of his former students.

-He told you he's always around for you to talk to, and while he can't give the best advice, he'll say what he knows from others.

-If you have scars from it being physical abuse, he'll tie bandages around them, only if it's needed.

-If you don't need bandaids and are just uncomfortable with seeing them, he'll tell you, scars are the best way to show you can be hurt and healed.

-Any mental scars, he says he's not a theripist, but you can talk to him whenever he doesn't have class.

-And finally, if the abuse is on going.

-There's not much he can do if it's from home. He'll probably call your family in to talk about you.

-He'll try and see how they abuse you and how he can stop it.

-If it's really, really bad. He'll probably call CPS.

-Any abuse from school he can, 100% handle.

-After he starts talking to you about this subject, he'll keep a watch out for any people that are trying to harm you.

-He might even see if there is anything in your book in his library. He'll do anything to make sure his students are safe.

#TBHK #tbhk x reader #tbhk headcanons #tsuchigomori #Emo spider #tsuchigomori x reader #tbhk tsuchigomori #TBHK tsuchigomori #Hanako is mentioned? #Hanako #toilet bound x reader #Toilet bound Hanako kun #Abuse #physical abuse #verbal abuse #abuse survivor

[etherealsign282]

They'll never remember all the times you sat with them while they ranted about their life to you. They'll never remember all the times you sent them paragraphs of love and affection. They'll never remember the way you begged them to be safe. They'll never remember all the activities you did together, the laughs shared, bonding over movies and shows and music. They'll never remember how dedicated you were to fixing the problem. They'll never remember all the apologies you gave, even when they knew you owed them nothing. They'll never remember everything you tolerated, from the gaslighting to the mocking to the ignoring to the interrupting to the undermining, and how much you worked on fixing it FOR them. They'll never remember the tears you shed because you just didn't understand at what point where it went wrong.

And they'll never remember the way they treated you. The lack of affection on purpose. The lack of interest. The way they refused to talk to you because they weren't interested. The way they minimized you. The way they tried to find ways to argue on purpose. The way they threatened themselves if you didn't make your whole world about them. They'll never remember how selfish and cold they were toward you for having problems that meant you couldn't focus on THEIR problems. They'll never remember how they purposely stonewalled then gaslit you as the problem for not figuring out. They'll never remember being hostile and aggressive every time you talked to them about anything serious, and they won't remember how much they blamed you for the lack of communication in the relationship. They'll never remember all the times they turned average situations into a victimizing situation because they weren't used to not being the center of attention. They'll never remember how to be compassionate at convenient times, but also never remember being cold hearted and apathetic at all. They'll never remember bragging about all the things they know they've done, in fact they won't remember doing them at all. They won't remember stepping over boundaries, trapping, manipulating, and then crying victim. They won't remember how much they lacked when you needed them, they wont remember all the effort you put in as much as they will never remember the fact that they didnt put in effort at all. They won't remember how little they actually contributed to the good times. They won't remember the amount of times they told you one thing, then punished you for doing it instead of the opposite. They might not even remember what it means to be a human with humanity.

You know what they will remember? They'll remember seeing you distance yourself but won't understand why. They'll remember you becoming drained to the point of apathy, and won't understand why. They'll remember you refusing to start dialogue that will end in twists and accusations, but won't understand why. They'll remember the times you were too busy for them for a few hours (after they ignored you on purpose). They'll remember the one time you were flaky, the one time you didn't pick up that 80/20 effort, the one time you were disinterested in the topic being about themself, again, but will never understand why. They'll remember you arguing with them back. They'll remember how many times they tried to pretend they WEREN'T arguing so they could keep repeating it. They'll remember the way you tiredly watched them have another tantrum or go pout in the corner and won't understand why you won't reach out to them. They'll remember you suffering with mental illnesses and perceive it as an attack on THEM, they'll remember all the things you brought up that displeases them that they can use as a weapon against you (they just won't remember using it as a weapon). They'll remember all the broken promises you couldn't keep but won't understand its because they couldn't keep theirs. They'll remember forever not lasting for very long at all.

And they'll never remember that it's their fault.

#Rant #Vent #Trauma vent #trauma dump #trauma #mentally tired #mental abuse #mentally ill #emotional #toxic relationship #my relationships #tw abuse #abuse cw #verbal abuse #abuse survivor #it huuuurts #Abusers should die #abuse mention #actually abused #emotional abuser #gaslighting #manipulative #stonewall #cptsd tag #Ptsd #emo #demon

[addilynn-rogers]

how do you expect me to get better in the environment that made me sick in the first place?

#childhood trauma #abuse survivor #emotional abuse #trauma #trauma survivor #verbal abuse #complex ptsd #abusive mothers #emotionally abusive mothers #verbally abusive mothers #childhood neglect #neglectful parents #emotionally neglectful parents #emotionally neglectful fathers #abusive parents #toxic parents #emotional neglect #enabler parents #enabler fathers #tw vent #vent post #vent #venting

[neuroticboyfriend]

okay. i finally found something on parents love bombing that is not ableist against cluster B's or encouraging parents to love bomb. it's in the form of a comment on this reddit post from 6 years ago. here's the comment, from u/Glaucus92:

Lovebombing is part of the cycle of abuse. The cycle you'll usually find is this one:

Calm -> Tension building -> Incident -> Reconcilliation -> Calm

Lovebombing is part of the "Reconcilliation" part. After an incident, a victim will usually try to confront, give consequences to, or withdraw form the abuser. In order to keep the victim close, to keep power over them, an abuser may lovebomb their victim. It is not linked to a specifc role in an abisive dynamic. It is a technique used by abuser as a reaction to 'losing' a victim.

The abuser will (attempt to) be the person you always wanted them to be. That can be the parent that listens to you when you talk about your interest. It can be that they tell you how proud they are of you, how they've always been proud, etc. It can be that they buy you gifts or give you money. This behaviour isn't exclusive to abusive parents either; think of how an abusive spouse might organize a wonderful date or get an expensive gift for their victims.

The goal of the lovebombing is to give you a little taste of what you usually never get from them, be it attention, financial aid, praise, compliments, whatever. By giving you that tiny bit, they are basically pretending that they can be this nice, loving parent. The underlying unspoken message of course being that things could be like this, if only you tried harder, or weren't like x, or were more like y. Because without the realization that they are abusive, it doesn't make sense for them to purposefully hurt you and then be really nice to you.

Lovebombing insipres false hope that if only you could be better, the abuser wouldn't be abusive. It also helps wiht the gaslighting; when they do all these nice things for you in that moment, you might think that you over-exagerated the previous abuse. It's usually only when you look back and realise that all these 'nice' things only happened when you were upset with them or withdrew from them.

Since you asked for examples:

A parent who is usually very disinterested in your life suddenly makes a lot of effort to discuss you hobbies with you.

A parent might start to give you a lot of compliments all of a sudden, or tell stories about how they've told others about how amazing you are.

Parents might give you gifts for no reason. Stating that they just wanted to be nice, or just thought of you when they saw it.

They might start calling or visiting a lot, especially when they previously didn't. Saying things about how much they miss you.

Trying to harken back to 'the good old days'. Sending you pictures of happy childhood memories or recounting old stories.

It might be straight up bribery. A conflict happens, and after the intial blow up you are given cash/money to buy something nice or becasue they ust want to help.

A parent might try to smooth things over by taking you to a place or on a trip you wanted to go to.

I know some of these might sound like perfectly normal things, and they would be coming from non-abusive people. It becomes an abusive tactic when it happens more often than not (or in greater intesity) after a conflict has occured. It also almost always happens in lieu of an actual apology. By lovebombing instead of apologizing, the abuser doesn't have to take responisbility for their action. The unspoken agreement that governs this is that by accepting the gift/loveboming, the victim doesn't hold the abuser accountable.

#softspoonie #abusive parents #abusive parent #abusive father #abuse #emotional abuse #love bombing #lovebombing #abuse survivor #cycle of abuse #verbal abuse #psychological abuse #gaslighting #manipulation #mental health #trauma #trauma survivor #trauma survival #abuse survival #abusive relationship #abusive #abusiveness #mental abuse #trauma awareness #mental health awareness

[secretlykoishi]

i still hope

i still hope that i never wake up

i still hope i never have to remember

i still hope i never hear your voice

i still hope i never see your face

i still hope it can all finally end

i still hope i can finally rest

you made a monster out of me

you didnt make me strong

you made me afraid

but your only hope is still have me

#abuse survivor #parental abuse #child abuse #emotional abuse #mental abuse #verbal abuse #narcissistic abuse #actually abused #actuallyabused #actually traumatized #actuallytraumatized #childhood trauma #trauma #ptsd #trauma poetry #trauma poem #abuse poetry #abuse poem

[mizusjawline]

I think a lot of abusive parents can't tell the difference between fear and respect. So when their children react to their abuse with fear, they go "finally some respect!"

#tw child abuse #child abuse #child abuse survivor #verbal abuse #physical abuse #emotional abuse

[hail-ey-m]

ѕнσтσ тσ∂σяσкι—ƒαмιℓу ιѕѕυєѕ

Relationship: platonic

!!TW: Implied abuse (of any sort) by family member(s)!!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Dear Y/n,

Hello. I hope you are well. 

I know times are rough right now and it seems like it will never get better. But I promise you it will. Trust me, I have my fair share of family issues. 

It's really sad to know you have them as well, I wouldn't wish them on anyone. 

I know I'm not the most comforting person, but I will try my hardest to help you. You are worth it and you are so special. 

You do not deserve this. Nobody does. You are not alone. You are not invalid in your feelings. You deserve the moon and stars and then some. Seeing as I cannot get you them, I will send you as many letters as needed for you to know your worth. And to know you are loved and appreciated.

I truly care about you, I am a blunt person so you can trust my words are true.

If your home situation is really bad, I advise you to tell someone. I know it can be hard, but if that's necessary for your safety then you need to do it. 

You will not be alone through any of this. I will always listen to any rants or crying sessions that you need to have. I know how important it is to have someone to confide in. Someone you can be raw around. So I will be that person for you. 

I hope this letter gives you some comfort. I love you.

Your friend,

Shoto ♡

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

© 2023 Shiggy | All Rights Reserved | No portion of this work may be used or adapted in any way without the author's explicit consent.

#Spotify #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero acedamia #shoto x y/n #bnha shoto #shoto todoroki #my hero academia x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #anime x gender neutral reader #verbal abuse #abuse survivor #abuse mention #mental illness #mental health awareness #my hero academia x gender neutral reader #comfort character #comfort letter #anime comfort

[whatwedoinsilence]

One of my earliest memories is being beaten. Laying in bed in a fetal position, protecting my face with my eyes shut as my brain tries to muffle out the sound of screaming, while my lips beg and plead for her to stop. Stop hitting me. I'm sorry. It hurts.

When she decides my punishment has been completed, she leaves me there, and I finally cry. Cry because I'm alone, cry because I can no longer be punished for crying. And I hug my little knees so tight and rock back and forth, whispering to myself "one day we will leave. one day we will be free." I was talking to myself, talking to my body, talking to my bruises, but talking as if I was a spectator and that wasn't really happening to me. Not me. Not me. Someone else.

Eventually I would get up, walk out, standing high. If she was still home, she wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't look at me. I must be the one to cave first, I must be the one to break, because I'm the one in the wrong.

I don't ask what my crimes are, I don't know them to this day. I approach her, very carefully, as she takes a long drag off her cigarette and ask her for something to eat, or maybe a glass of water.

And it's done. The anger that once was there is no more. We can go back to loving each other, until once again I disturb her peace, as I've done for all of 23 years now, and the cycle starts over.

I know what my issues are, I've always been a very introspective person. I crave love, I need it, I long for it, but I will choke on my own tears before I ask out loud. I just stand there and hope that one day I will ask for the right glass of water, the right food, and someone will finally love me.

But what if I can't be loved? What if I am the only person in the world who is unworthy of it? What if I'm the unlucky child who has to live forever without it?

I hear the things she says. To herself, in the morning when she knows I'm listening. To her friends, whenever I'm near. To our neighbours, when we're walking by. She says it with a smile on her face and laughter leaves her lips but I know she means it. I am difficult. I am snobbish, brute and hard-headed. I am loud, angry and freakish. I am lucky to have a mother like her, other mothers would've burned me with cigarettes or left me in a trash bin. I am a lot to handle, a lot to deal with.

When I get angry, I see myself as a spectator once again. I scream and I hear her voice, I shout and I hear her words. I feel her rage. And it frightens me so much I can barely breathe, but I cannot stop. It's a scary sight for sure, and one I wouldn't wish anyone to have to behold.

I am broken. I am not complete. But maybe someday I will be. Maybe someday far away from this madness the Prince that was promised to me, by every kind kindergarten teacher and Disney movie, will appear. Maybe it will be a Princess, even. And they will rescue me. They will rescue me, because I'm growing more unsure by the day that I can rescue myself.

#toxic #toxic family #toxic mother #child abuse #trauma #verbal abuse #narcissistic behavior #toxic friends #toxic relationship #physical abuse #childhood abuse #child abuse survivor

[etherealsign282]

Victim complexes from abusers are so weird.

They hate the term victim to begin with, and associate it automatically with negative connotations about how people only use the word to be manipulative and not take accountability. Ironically because they're projecting onto the fact that THEY would/already do use that word in that manner. While also trying to dismiss people who are victims to abuse at the same time by making it seem like real victims are just crazy or pitiful.

But they basically hate any time someone says they (the abuser) are acting like a victim unnecessarily, because they just have so many reasons/excuses for why they are the way they are. Which is... basically them victimizing themselves over having a victim complex. Oh no, your dog died when you were 10 and you've never been the same since? Sounds like you're being a victim to something that happened 15 years ago and has nothing to do with punching people in the face. Are you thinking about punching your dead dog while you abuse someone?

And they're allowed to hold everything over your head at all times. They're allowed to play the "it just upsets me when you do x thing uwu" to excuse abusing you. They're allowed to call themselves a piece of shit or garbage person or threaten to unalive themselves because life is so hard or being a respectful partner is so hard, etc etc.

But you cannot be upset or else you have a victim complex, not them. You cannot hold a grudge or feel resentful or else you're milking it. You cannot break up with them because they'll twist it to make you seem crazy and unreasonable and victimizing yourself.

Then the main problem they have in the relationship is that either:

That they're not allowed to just do whatever they want without consequences because it hurts their feelings and now they're a victim to "oppression" aka accountability.

Or the fact that they're mad that their hand isn't being held for everything. "Teach me morale, keep poking and pushing me even though I'll lash out, you're giving up on me by not teaching me common manners". Weaponizing incompetence (even though they're competent any other time), to be a victim to the idea of having any responsibility to take care of their own mess, because people don't want a grown toddler for a partner. Being a victim because people don't want to babysit an adult and make sure they're not out here rxping and abusing people,otherwise you're the shitty person.

They'll have a victim complex over everything, even you acknowledging you're a victim/survivor to abuse. "Omg you're milking it and trying to make me suffer by not letting it go!" Way to use my reaction to your abuse as fuel for your hurt/disturbed feelings. Nice way to continue milking the situation and keep looking like a victim even though you've "moved on and got better".

And OK but did YOU let go of anything in the relationship? Would you let this go if it were you dealing with this thing that's 10x worse than what you had to deal with when you were losing your shit over small things? The shit that were literally conjured in your head due to your own victimized brain seeing shit that wasn't there and abusing people as a way to lash out?

It's just weird the way they act. I hate it. They hate people who are actually victims to something fucked up because they have zero empathy for anybody outside of sympathizing with themself. But they'll be the first to tell you they're a victim to their own actions and constantly make it known and make you aware of it.

They're a victim to the world somehow not liking them.

They're a victim to abusing people til they leave.

They're a victim for trying everything they can to be miserable and reject happiness.

They're a victim to their own behavior and they'll constantly make that known.

They're a victim to being held accountable.

They're a victim to people not liking them due to their actions.

They're a victim to people not letting go of what they've done the way they want.

As if being a victim is supposed to just stop people from being upset with them because they want to look as pathetically inept as possible.

But God forbid you are a victim to them. God forbid you are aware of being an abuse survivor.

#emotional abuse #mental health #mental illness #trauma #true words #emo #toxic #mental abuse #self victimization #victimization #victim complex #victim #surviving abuse #abuse survivor #verbal abuse #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingisabuse