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nerdieforpedro · 27 days

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Heyy Nerdie <3

So since I'm relatively new with writing, I wonder how other writers manage their docs, like what tool is good for writing stories with multiple chapters. And I know everybody will have a different answer and solution for their writing process but I was just wondering if you had any tips for a newbie like me (I'm writing in my notes but that doesn't works so great, also no word count etc.)

Thank you in advance!

I appreciate you ❤️

Ooh! I'm excited1 A writing question! I feel honored that you're asking me. Full disclosure: I'm not the most organized person, even with my fanfic. I am trying to improve though.

I have found for all my fics, no matter if they're one shots or chapter series, I write them in Google Drive. The only reason I don't use Word or my notes app is because I find it easier to edit on my phone when I'm out and about having ideas randomly. (Always happens in places that aren't great to write in which is why I try and stay ready. Only works 50% of the time because of driving. 😭) I also tend to keep each fic even with all their chapters or parts in one very long document instead of a separate document for each chapter. That's just so I will be less confused. I get confused easily. 😳

Many writers use Google Drive so if you're brave enough to ask, you can usually send them what you have to review and they can either just look or comment on different parts depending on permissions you give them. To give your fic a good once over, you can pop it into Word for grammar and spelling corrections. Google docs does do that as well, but sometimes it misses things that Word catches. It's weird.

For on the go notes about vibes or random ideas, I feel your notes app should be good for that and also outlines if you want to plan out chapters or your one shot before writing it out. That way if you have it on your phone in your notes app, you can type in Word or Google while looking back at your bullet points to keep the story flow going.

Also if you like music, I highly recommend a writing playlist. It can be just your favorite songs, set to the mood of what you're writing, instrumental, anything that will help you focus and get your story out. it also could help inspire things (there's numerous fanfics written from songs - hundreds).

Maybe yourself a comfy space, enjoy a nice beverage (I like tea, hot chocolate or coffee if it's in the morning and a snack while writing) and remember it's supposed to be fun.

Sure frustrating sometimes especially when it seems like you have no ideas or the idea isn't coming out quite like you wanted. Take a break, might be hours, days or months, however long you feel you may need for it not to see like a chore. Writing, drawing and crating in general should be fun - in can require focus and work, but should still be enjoyable.

Try out some prompts, challenges or toss some ideas out to friends or people if you feel your creativity is lacking to you just want some different perspectives. We're all different, have histories that make us who we are so there can be as many ways to write a fic as starts in the sky. No one has thought of all of them, many reuse tropes (myself included) because they're fun and provide a template to work from and all sorts of themes can be explored. If you like to edit graphics and/or create moodboards, that can be a good way to distract yourself from writing while also focusing on a different aspect of your fic - visuals. It could help spark something too.

I truly hope I answered your question and didn't ramble too hard. Like this is... 8/10 rambling. 😆

#Nerdie's ask box #writing advice from Nerdie?#is this a good idea #Nerdie went into great detail #is there a tree in that forest?#a lot of stuff

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seducemefanficsandheadcanons · 3 months

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If this is triggering then sorry but can you do a fic where Y/N was raped and is basically sick of her life constantly falling apart then tries to kill herslef then Sam catches her in the act. Then she tells him what happened and he gives her cuddles?

Hi<3 So, I just want to preface this by saying trigger warning for any readers. This fic will include mentions of rape, attempted suicide, depression, and angst. I'm aware this is a very sensitive subject matter, and I tried to be as respectful and sensitive as possible. Please tell me if there is anything I could do to improve or to be more sensitive regarding the subject matter. I hope you enjoy the story<3 I wrote it to be platonic, but feel free to interoperate it how you like.

You are not broken

I was shaking, almost dropping the blade in the process. I was done, life had thrown too many things at me. My father, grandfather, Malix, Diana, and today. The memories of the man invaded my thoughts, mental images of his grabbing me, pulling me into the alleyway. The feeling of him forcing my clothes down. It was too much. I didn’t care anymore, there was no using logic to find my way out of this.

I was tired of being strong. Tired of smiling. Tired of crying.

Tired.

I tried to breathe as the tears continued falling down my face, but my lungs refused. I wasn’t making any attempts to be quiet, as I was supposed to be home alone. The shaking in my hands didn’t subside as I brought the blade down to my wrist, taking a large breath.

Suddenly, before the blade could even make contact with my skin, someone snatched it out of my grasp. In front of me was my close incubus friend and roommate, Sam, tightly gripping the blade in his hands. He was giving me a look I couldn’t quite understand. It was hard to ignore tears that formed as I stared into his eyes, frozen in place while I waited for him to do something.

My thoughts were almost frozen. Panic, embarrassment, sadness, anger was all there. But any trail of thought seemed to be as stuck as I was.

After what felt like forever, I looked away, my eyes falling on his bloody hand. “Sam, you're bleeding.”

I felt his gaze harden, and suddenly I was being picked up. Before I could register what was happening, we were out of the bathroom and standing in my room. He held me tightly to him, even as he sat my feet on the ground. I noticed the trembling which reverberated throughout his body, and I could swear I felt his tears in the crook of my neck, where his face was buried.

I was stiff, unsure of how to respond. I just wrapped my arms around him as I tried, and failed, to speak.

Eventually, he pulled away and sat down on my bed which I followed suit. I stared at nothing at particular, barely aware of the tears which were still falling from my eyes. My fists were tightly shut, my nails breaking the skin of my palms. I failed to bring myself to look at Sam, but I knew he was staring at me.

“What the fuck were you thinking.” Sam asked. His tone was harsh, but I knew him well enough to know that he cared.

I didn’t answer, just digging my nails deeper. I found myself admiring the paintings on the walls, thinking of the feelings of my hair on my neck, anything but the predicament I was in.

Sam was impatient, however. “Y/N, what were you fucking thinking?” He asked again, louder this time.

I gulped, now staring at my hands which were bleeding from my nails. “I wasn’t.” I answered quietly.

I could hear him take a deep, shaky breath before he spoke again with a slightly weaker tone. “Why?”

I closed my eyes, the shaking in my body still very prominent. “I’m tired.”

Sam shifted closer to me. “Then let us help.”

I shook my head, crying even more. “I can’t be helped.”

“Bullshit.”

I finally looked up at Sam. His eyes were slightly red, and I could see the fallen tears on his cheeks. His expression was frustrated, worried, and saddened at the same time. “I’m unfixable.” I said, a sad smile stretching across my face.

His eyebrows furrowed, and before he could argue I spoke again. “Anyone with eyes can take a look at me and know I’m a lost cause.”

I swallowed hard, but continued. “Everything I touch burns, and I’m tired of worrying every good thing is gonna be fucked up.”

His eyes were completely unreadable as he spoke. “You can’t let the shit that's happened in your life mean nothing. If you…” He stopped, and his eyes began to water again.

I sighed, looking back down. “I don't know what wrong with me.” I admitted.

Sam’s arms wrapped around me. “Nothing is wrong with you, you can’t control the bad things that have happened to you.”

Something he said made me break.

Suddenly I was sobbing, turning and returning his embrace. He tightened his grip around me, his hand rubbing soothing circles on the small of my back. He let me cry into his shoulder, whispering and letting me know everything would be okay.

“Sam.” I said, between sobs. “I was raped.”

I felt him tighten his grip and go slightly rigid for only a second before returning to his previous demeanor. He continued to sooth me, telling me it wasn’t my fault and that I’d be okay.

After what felt like hours, I pulled away. My eyes felt swollen and my head was pounding, but the weight in my chest was slightly lighter. I wiped my face and looked at the clock. It was early, only 4pm, but I was exhausted from crying. A yawn escaped my lips, and Sam smiled ever so slightly. “You should lay down.”

I nodded, looking at him. “Will you stay?”

He just nodded, without even hesitating. He laid down, letting me lay on his chest as he trailed his hands up and down my back. In almost no time, I was falling asleep, my last thoughts surrounding how safe I felt in his arms.

#seduce me the otome #seducemeotome #smto #seducemetheotome #seduceme #fanfiction #seduce me sam #seduce me fanfiction

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askpokemoncrossover · 2 years

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Peor Existentia

“Y-you’re…? A-a Mew?” Sai was shocked, just what is going on in this world!?

“Okay, out of all the things you’ve told me. That story as well as this? Blew my mind.” Imitates exploding sound

The red mew wiped his tears away with his tiny paw with a sniffing sound, lightly chuckling. “S-sorry for keeping this from you… but, pokemon such as myself aren’t supposed to interact with others, but the stakes are high enough as it is… we have to take action now.”

“About what you said earlier… Were your erm… parents really that desperate to resort to that?”

Blaze gave Sai a look that was a bit blank before sighing.

“...Yeah, It was a gamble. Azul and Trish, my… ‘parents’ knew the risks. Azul went to bring a human from your world to assist us and Trish went to Arceus so they can set up the void lands: A realm separate to trap dark matter and… Grandma into there so they won’t interact in the physical world.”

The mew shook his head.

“Myself and Sis went to the human world to hide… but we went back to see how things were several years later and… they failed. Time works differently between the two worlds: One year here is a century over there and we found the world ruined... Our grandpa ran and hid, trying to find some way to be safe since Arceus has deep connections to him, couldn’t risk getting caught. Mom barely managed to survive… she told me that dad had confronted his… younger sister and they struck each other down after being worn out by a bunch of void shadows that grandma created and Dark matter took the human for itself…”

Trigger gritted his teeth and growled “That freak… that’s why it took Mina… because she can give birth to a lot of pokemon, including mews… she was used to create more void shadows”

“Your uncle had to face… his sister? So wait… that means that…?” Sai asked as he felt a dread creeping up his skin

“Exactly, Mina during her time before the corruption was known as the ‘mother of all’. Another reason why dark matter went after her. To use her own children against us… even my own aunt and uncle…” The blazing-red mew continued, crying a bit here and there.

“The human that was captured, through his memories. Dark matter was able to learn about your world and how much it… developed. So, instead of the tree of life dragging the world into its respective sun. It manipulated Palkia to create a portal and that caused the tree to collide with this one, taking dark matter with it…”

Both sets of eyes were on the mew before the Zeraora asked.

“Wait, back up…. Something that big should’ve damaged this planet either way, right? So why are we still…?”

“The comet that crashed into your planet 20 years ago, was the Tree of Life. In its decayed glory, xerneas’s dying light and spirit casted a spell upon this world. Sparing the planet but with the consequence of turning every human into pokemon. But this is perfect, they can arm themselves for the inevitable darkness that encroaches this planet today. Twenty years for humans to adapt, twenty seconds for humans to be extinct. This world has changed in the blink of an eye and no one, save for us three… know what happened.”

The mew was stern, Sai detected no lie in the blazing mythic’s aura so he had to sit and ask….

“So… what happened to dark matter?”

The mew looked at the lucario before shrugging, a bit frustrated. “...I have no idea, but the fact is that there are Void Shadows already, meaning that it’s somewhere in this world. Worst case, it fused with this one, but we have no way to confirm it. But it’s presence in the physical is what allows the Void Shadows to do what they did: Capture, Consume, Corrupt. Both of you have witnessed what they do and are capable fighters in your own rights.”

He pointed at Zeraora “A mythical pokemon like myself, self-taught but can use some improvement.”

Trigger was embarrassed.

“Er… hehe… do arena fights count as actual fights?”

“Eh… somewhat.” A small red finger to Sai “A human-turned pokemon who was resurrected in a way I never thought was possible.” “Dude, just say I’m a living miracle and stick with it. No need to go into detail if you already knew about it.” Cross-veins were on his head, signaling that he’s more than a tad irritated about the experiment

Blaze chuckled nervously… “R-right, sorry…”

‘Trigger’ laughed and patted sai on the back to calm him down who sighed.

“So that’s why you sought us out. Because we apparently don’t stick to the rules your old world applied, eh? This is our turf, not yours so you need to improvise.”

“Er… Well…” A really loud and lengthy sigh. “Okay, yes. I really needed help in protecting and saving your world from the mistakes of my old home and you two are my trump cards. There, happy?”

“Wait, our world? So it’s not just here?” Sai asked concerningly.

“Yes, even though dark matter is aware of what happened last night… it's also feeding upon the negative emotions from around the world. Robberies, shootings, wars, Experimentation, even kidnapping. Your world is more chaotic than my own in many ways. It’s a feeding ground for Dark Matter. But eventually, it would get bored and use their minions to create more chaos and cause the domino effect over and over again.”

“Oh damn…” Sai fell silent as he pondered all the possibilities that Dark matter would exploit

“...Crap, there’s no escaping it, huh?” Trigger grumbled with arms crossed.

“No. That’s why I'm seeking out powerful and strong-willed pokemon such as yourselves. It’s either that or stand by as your world continues to deteriorate and get consumed by it’s schemes from behind the scenes. This world deserves one thing that my world never had the chance to get.”

“Which is…?” Sai asked, tilting his head. “A bright future. Please… Help me achieve it. I can’t do it without your powers.” He bowed deeply, going on all fours even. This wasn't a demand... it was begging.

“This world needs people like you.”

#lore bomb #Saisei #Blaze #Trigger #Lucario #Zeraora #Mew #mythical pokemon #The truth comes out at last.#plot #askpokemoncrossover

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dream-critical · 2 years

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(Jewish fan here) But what else can dream fans holding him accountable do? What the “more”? We can’t ask him to delete the videos or tweets because they were already deleted. We can’t ask him to stop having a racist sense of humor because he already has, even if the improvements just been in the past year or two when his fanbase was growing. We can’t ask him to call his past actions harmful and racist because he already has.

When the n*zi edit was uncovered, poc fans with Dream follows dm’d him asking him to address it. He tweeted a reply before he was aware of it and the qrts and replies on it were filled with fans and non fans telling him he needs to address this. Many of dreams poc fans, including myself (I don’t look into his white fanbase, and there are a lot of poc fans with large followings) were genuinely disappointed, but also frustrated that people kept digging up old stuff to point out how Dream is a bad person because he’s already told us that he used to be really insensitive with his jokes and hold shitty views. We don’t need evidence. We know and, knowing where he grew up, kind of expected it. It wasn’t hurting anyone until it was brought up.

With other people, I do admit it’s annoying seeing old stuff brought back up to show how other mcyt fans don’t hold their fav accountable, but most of us aren’t hateful towards the actual cc about it. We’re just trying to point out the hypocrisy a lot of fans seem to have in the whole “holding someone accountable for past offenses even when they’ve changed and/or addressed it and apologized.” (Honestly Schlatt and Quackity fans are the most egregious offenders) A lot of us like Techno or Wilbur or Quackity, even if they’ve given no apology or shit apologies. I don’t want to look at all the uncomfortable stuff other mcyters did, but it is frustrating that this standard seems to only apply to Dream.

I agree with your point a while ago that it would’ve been preferable for him to call antisemitism what it was. I understand that he was trying to address all of his past behavior but it still would’ve been nice. Some other Jewish fans I’ve spoken to agree with me on that. I suppose we could ask him to donate to causes that help poc. I personally wish he would. (Even though he has donated to blm charities in the past, he could absolutely do more and I want him to. But the bar is in hell when it comes to mcyters donating to poc causes). I also wish he would donate to other LGBTQ+ charities other than the Trevor Project, and many of his fans agree and are trying to make him aware of that. But again, why is it only dream that’s held to this standard? Why are we mad that dream hasn’t done more or donated more when most people haven’t done more?

This is all /genq btw. Because I see the “dream fans don’t hold him accountable” thing a lot

Ok so first of all, as a Jewish person, you can of course choose to forgive him. That’s your own decision, however i feel like your whole argument is downplaying the situation. Like, a lot.

It wasn’t a one time thing, dream also made a KKK edit and an Osama bin laden edit. The thing is he did not care enough to directly adress the antisemitism, he did not care at all so he didnt even apologize for the islamophobia and the “everything ive said before applies to this as well” dm is bullshit and honestly just made it worse bc it shows he does not give a shit about muslims and he downplayed the harmfullness of the kkk edit so don’t come here to this blog and start bullshitting about how only dream is held to this incredibly high standard no one else has ever been held up to or whatever.

Sure, you’re right, the people you mention haven't done more, like apologizing or adressing things and it is frustrating. However these people also didn't make a kkk edit, a bin laden edit and a holocaust joke.

Let’s not act like those are normal things, let’s not act like it’s casual bigotry or racism.

I’ve met a lot of casually racist and bigoted people in my life anon, and let me tell you something here. They might be racist but they set themselves a standard, they have a line they don’t cross bc in their eyes racism is only racism when it’s violently and dangerously blunt. They keep it at subtle shit.

Casually racist people don’t think the kkk is a laughing matter bc they don’t agree with killing Black people and other marginalized groups just bc they dare to exist. They just don’t want any minorities in their neighborhood and think people of colour are lazy and stupid.

Casual racists and Islamophobes think muslims are uncivilized barbarians and see muslim kids and women as victims instead of people etc but they won’t make an edit mocking 9/11 and don’t laugh about it. They hate muslims and dont want them close to themselves.

Using a n*zi anthem and footage of a march isn’t a joke a casual bigot would do bc mocking the suffering Jewish people went through and making a holocaust joke is too fucking far for most people, normal people.

Dream saying he had shitty views as a kid is downplaying the harm all of this does.

When i hear a white man saying he had shitty views i dont immediatly think of violently bigoted edits anon. I dont think of someone dehumanizing minorities for shits and giggles. Those are actions of a violently racist person. Someone who does not care about the kkk, who does not see muslims as humans, someone who doesn’t give a shit about all the hardships marginalized people have and had to go through.

He has not shown any kind of care for jewish people, for muslims or for people of colour.

The only thing he has ever done to show some sort of progressiveness is donate to the trevorproject. But guess what, white queer people can and generally are still pretty bigoted, it doesnt prove shit to anyone that has been hurt by his actions.

So next time you’re gonna come here and spout bullshit that’s going to downplay violent bigotry, maybe do some self reflection and don’t.

He might’ve changed, or just has gotten more subtle with his racist bullshit, i dont care. Bc it doesn’t change his past. Nor has he shown any of this change you keep talking about.

I can not and never will understand the need to dismiss and ignore a past full of racist and bigoted actions. It is your own choice but don’t try to make it seem reasonable or try to make us feel like we’re overreacting.

fuck you and fuck off

#mercury.txt #anonymous #asks #dream neg #dream critical #dream crit #Tw nazi mention

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literary-potatous · 1 month

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The Little Us

When I told my friend that I could feel it when people saw me as a bad person—the bitchy-faced, uninteresting, annoying, and every unpretty thing ever—she always said something along the lines of "No, you're not. You're unique, blah, blah, blah." It reassured me sometimes, but it wasn't enough to comfort me because she was the one who told me that.

She is too nice. The nicest person I've ever known. I feel like she can see me differently because it's her. It might be a nice thing. But it feels like she got her ability to sense unpretty things turned off. I got the ugliest personality that she couldn't sense. That makes me feel secure. I value her a lot because of that. And that's why we get along. But still, it doesn't erase the fact that I do have an ugly personality.

I always wonder what made me like this. I always wonder what went wrong in my life journey. Whose fault is that, and who is even in the right?

I hated my mom and dad, but I couldn't deny that they did good things for me too. Better than some other parents even. Some of my friends envied me for that. But still, I think some of the things they did to me ruined my life too.

My mom, she has a bad temper. My dad, he is so quiet and doesn't quite know how to express himself. I hate it when they argue. My mom would tell my dad what she didn't like and suggest things, and my dad would be silent—because he didn't like the idea. But he didn't discuss it either. He almost never said bad things, but sometimes, he'd tell my mom that she complained a lot.

Now, it might sound like my dad is in the wrong, but not necessarily. My mom did complain quite a lot, but I think she did her best to express it in the most diplomatic way. Sometimes she even gave up. One thing she could improve is the way she suggests her ideas. Sometimes, they sounded like requests or commands. She could change it into a question format, it sounds more like a suggestion. But it's not that bad, to be honest. So, where is the bad part?

The bad part is that my mom murmured her complaints quite loudly so everyone else could hear them. Not in a diplomatic way, obviously. She was ranting to herself. And that made everyone else who was not involved frustrated too. Well, I was, if not everyone. It ruined my day. I'd try helping her out because I hated her complaining so much. But if it didn't go as she expected, she'd be frustrated too. Lose-lose situations. I once told her about that, and she was upset. And of course she murmured it loudly on my back, like she always did. Like I didn't just tell her about that a minute ago. Instead of taking it as constructive criticism, she just went sad, saying people wouldn't understand her.

It's not entirely wrong though. Maybe I was not too understanding. I shouldn't have invalidate her feelings of wanting to be understood. But it wasn't my intention. My main goal was to tell her that one thing is wrong, and I wanted her to work on that one thing—which is not her complain. I don't mind her having some complaints, but just tell them in a way that could ruin other people day. A good and calm communication. That's all I wanted.

What made me even more frustrated was that I saw myself in her. I hated her, but it's like hating myself too. It's like I don't deserve to hate her. Well, maybe I actually don't. I have bad communication too. I almost always had a bad temper whenever I talked to her, including when I told her about her complaining habits. My suggestions for her didn't reflect the way I behave. So of course she didn't feel good when I did that to her.

And this is all my rant is about. I resent my parents for my bad communication, bad temper, bad social skills, and detachment issues. I am also bad at managing my emotions, just like my mom. I am bad at expressing my wants and needs, just like my dad. I hated them for being like that and making me like this. And I hated that I couldn't hate them as much as I wanted because I am literally just their carbon copy.

They hurt the little me. And I grew up with that wound.

But then I wondered if the little them were hurt too, and they also grew up with that.

But can't we just heal together? Heal the little us in our adult iron cases.

#diary #creative writing #parenting #communication #inner child #writeblr #psychology #original fiction #heal

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crazyblondelife · 10 months

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Change How You Show Up and Change Your Life

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

We women (and men) struggle with confidence, repetitive and negative thought patterns, anxiety and feeling irrelevant. I certainly don’t want to depress anyone, but sometimes, hearing how someone changed their life can give hope and that’s my purpose. I read and study about self awareness daily and I’m convinced that becoming self aware is the only way to change things you don’t like about your life. No one wants to hear that they are the problem, but until you become aware that you are the problem, and take action…your life will stay the same.

I have the power within me to create anything I want in my life. I’ve come to realize that I’m a wave in the ocean and I am the ocean…I’m the toast and the toaster, I’m the dance and the dancer and I’m the laughter and the tears!

Everything is interconnected and I’m not separate from God. My thoughts, emotions and actions are in my control but not unless I’m aware of them. There is a beautiful flow to life when I’m tuned in to my power and focusing on where I’m going, not where I’ve been! That’s when the Universe meets me and miracles happen!

There was a time in my life (not so long ago) when my thoughts raged uncontrollably and I was a total mess. I didn’t know there was another way and life looked very bleak. Looking back, my distain for myself caused most every problem I’ve ever had. That’s why I’m certain that self love is the most important thing. When you don’t love yourself, and know that you are here on an important mission, nothing goes well and life is hard and unfulfilling. Most people, myself included, have to hit rock bottom before change happens. Self love isn’t an easy concept and one that’s easily misunderstood. It’s defined as regard for one's own well-being and happiness and a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.

Self love grows from actions that support our physical, physchological and spiritual growth. I take that to mean that self love is a daily, intentional practice. It’s not just something that magically happens one day!

You can’t be selfless when you don’t love yourself…in fact, the people who are most selfish, don’t love themselves! They live in fear and lack. I was sadly one of those people for a long time!

“You were born worthy and nothing has changed.”

I did not know that I was worthy, I did not love myself and as a result, my marriage was falling apart, I didn’t have a great relationship with my children, I was angry and I blamed everyone else for all of those things. Life was chaotic because I had abandoned myself and expected everyone else to pick up the pieces and make me happy. It never works like that!

I felt entitled to my feelings of anger, frustration, resentment and sadness. But they didn’t feel good. When I finally accepted responsibility for my life and started to work on myself, things started to change. Now, life is good (not perfect) and I understand that I made it good, just like I made it hard. That’s the reason I tell my story…I want to inspire others to begin the Journey of self awareness that leads to self love! None of this happened overnight and I can’t stress enough that loving yourself and living in the present require daily work. It really is a minute by minute, day by day journey and there is always something new to learn.

I find it completely exhilarating to know that I can tap into the power of the Universe any time I choose. I can flow in the field of possibility!

There will always be things that you want to improve about yourself! Wanting to be your best self is admirable, but you’re far more likely to achieve change if you start loving yourself just as you are right now…not when you do this or that or achieve this or that!

There will certainly still be days when you feel frustrated and see flaws (it’s perfectly normal because you’re human), but the first step to change (and having fewer of those days) is accepting yourself, today, right this minute!

I came to realize that my life would stay the same until I made up my mind and was willing to put in the time and do the work. I had to take responsibility for the mess I had made and begin to clean it up. I finally decided to make myself a priority because it was unbearable to think my life would never be any different. I knew I was unhappy and I knew it was my fault.

Constant negative thoughts will steal your joy and make your life miserable!

When I first heard that I have within me the power of the Source of all things and that I was put here for a reason and that I have a responsibility to shine…quite honestly, it was confusing and I had a hard time believing any of it…in fact, it made me angry because it seemed so hard and I didn’t feel at all shiny! I had spent most of my life feeling inadequate and unworthy. I always felt so powerless and it I believed that outside circumstances controlled my life.

The concept of inner Power was a concept I had never considered and it’s not one of those things any of us learns in school (but it should be). At that point, I was so desperate to change my life that I continued to study and try to understand new ideas like inner Power. I began to journal and meditate and contemplate. I started to become more aware of my thoughts and how they affected my emotions. I could (and still do at times) get myself worked up just thinking about the past and completely ruin my whole day and the day of everyone around me.

Awareness is the first step to change and I slowly began to embrace these new ideas and apply them to my life. It was hard and my mind kept pulling me back into the past, but now I was more aware of my thoughts and that’s what made a difference.

It’s been a journey for sure and a crooked, windy path, but I’m getting there. I work at it every.single.day and I’ve been able to change my mindset and go from a girl who blamed everyone and everything for my circumstances to a woman who accepts responsibility for the life I am creating. I created a mess and now I AM creating something great! I can live consciously or I can let life happen…it’s a daily choice. You have a choice every second of your life.

You are the one who can live in the past (remember when ?), or dream about the future (things will be better when) or, you are the one who can realize that the the only moment is the present moment and the present moment is where change begins!

There is no such thing as perfection and it’s a place no human will ever be, so take the pressure off yourself, put one foot in front of the other and take care of you.

Remember that your body, your personality, your desires, and your talents are individual blessings and stop the comparison game! Get out of your head and into your heart! Start to be aware of the “self-talk”. Start to question that voice in your head that’s telling you you aren’t good enough or pretty enough or whatever! Your mind is so used to thinking these thoughts, that until you become aware of them, they automatically play on repeat!

Consider this…If you aren’t living the life you want to live, you are saying “no” to many things, but you are also saying “yes” to things…like staying stuck, like worrying all of the time, like not getting out there and living life to the fullest. When you start to “live” in spite of your perceived flaws, you begin to say “yes” to all of the fun parts of life and no to those crazy voices in your head telling you that you’re not good enough! Sit down and be still and become aware of your thoughts and then…question them! That’s when true change happens and only you can do it. Yes it’s hard and it does get easier! Remember it’s a practice!

You’re not going to just comfortably step into a different life, it’s going to be uncomfortable, but it will be so worth it! Sadness is a choice and happiness is a choice. Of course, there will be sad times in your life…that’s part of the human experience, but being sad, mad, frustrated and anxious all of the time isn’t living.

There are circumstances in life that you can’t change, but what you can change is how you show up. The inner work you do will manifest on the outside and you will be creating a life you want to live. You are the one who has to show up for you. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be!

Take time to recite positive affirmations, practice gratitude, and sit in stillness each day and then GET OUT THERE AND LIVE!

Life will always be messy and hard at times, but it can be juicy, spicy, exciting and amazing at the same time!

I am still a work in progress and learning intentionally every day. I believe that’s how it’s supposed to be! I get excited when I discover a new book or idea that helps me to go deeper into my understanding of these spiritual principles. You and I are part of something huge but it’s not “out there”, it’s inside…we only have to realize that. You are important and your desires matter. Take the time to listen and get to know yourself. You will serve everyone in your life and more when you realize who you truly are.

Ya’ll…this post came straight from my heart and I would love to know what you think! I’ve had women talk to me about feelings of unworthiness, anxiety and hopelessness and I’ve been there. The practices I keep describing to you brought me out of a bad place…they work and I am proof. I’d love for you to tell me your thoughts and experiences in the comments!

#Self Love #Self Awareness #Living Your Best Life #Living with Intention #Inspiration

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grapecaseschoices · 3 years

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Representation in IF (or the lack thereof)

In recent days, the topic of race and ethnicity - as well as treatment of marginalized communities within IFs and their fandoms - has been the premier point of conversation. It has become paramount for people of color, lately, to advocate for themselves in regards to issues of white washing, stereotypes, and white people (...and sadly, other people of color) feeling too comfortable using slurs.

Nothing new there.

As I saw someone recently point out, this is something that crops up every two months. And if you’ve been on tumblr for that length of time, in more than more than one fandom, this is likely something you’ve had to deal with several times within that space of time. It’s an unfortunate byproduct of being a fan of color. (And, often, any type of minority, period.)

We don’t get to escape within the internet into fantasy the same way the “majority” gets to do so. If it isn’t toxic people in the community, it is being disappointed by content creators - either through their comments (or lack thereof) or what they put out in their work.

I can’t speak for every black person or every person of color, however, my fandom experience is one of hyper vigilance. And I’ve noticed that sort of attitude in others. We have to cut away from certain parts of the fandom. Or cut out work we used to love because of certain outlooks or behaviors.

It is a protective attitude that I’m unapologetic about. By curating my content consumption, it’s pushed me to find, and support, artists that care enough to see people like me as people. Someone mentioned to me that “as marginalized communities, we have a right to be choosy about our representation in media.” And I agree. We do and we should never, ever feel guilty about it.

That being said, it can feel kind of alienating.

As I mentioned before, there’s been a continued - one I am glad for - movement in the IF/VN community in calling out bad representation (and treatment of fans). Fans have pushed for accountability and gotten it. However, I’ve noticed - or at least, I feel - the call for change is sort of limited. There’s a hesitance in our community to ask for that same change of ‘indie’/smaller creators as we do of companies or more established writers. And, honestly, this hesitance has left me with a feeling that the IF/VN community isn’t really one for people of color, particularly black people.

Now, I’m one who tries to give credit where credit is due. The creation of ~interact-if … is probably one of the best things I have ever seen in any community (and I’ve been in fandom/written rpg since HS). I’ve also noticed an increase of writers of color feeling comfortable in writing for their culture or having characters of their culture as well as white creators holding themselves accountable. All of that is what keeps me hopeful about improvement regarding IF works but motivates me to one day do my own. That being said, there is still a lot that needs to be addressed regarding the whiteness of IF work and the depiction of characters of color.

I am going to start off by saying something that may come off as kind of harsh. If you know me, you know what I’m going to say, so you can clock out. If you don’t, take a deep breath, feel frustrated, and then let it go to move on: I don’t think uncomfortability with writing about a marginalized group or unfamiliarity with said group is an excuse. I don’t think “well it’s my work, this is what I know/this is what I want to write” is an excuse.

IF works in the year 2021 are uncomfortably, awkwardly white (and able-bodied, cis, thin, etc). And I do not think there is ANY excuse, ANY actual reason for it to be that way.

I am sure there are several excuses coming to mind (as I said, I’ve been in RP and fanfic for years, I’ve seen them all—heck, I’ve thought them all. I still do think them at times). However, I��ve always held to the belief that every work that is put out into the universe matters. Everything has an impact. NO work is too small, nothing is too insignificant. Every art has an effect. And if you’re writing a story, telling a tale, something from your heart to share with others you’re trying to affect your environment in some way, you’re trying to say something.

I feel a lot of us—as I said, I include myself in this too—do not consider what we’re saying to our audience when we create works that are mostly white (or when we can’t have a single character or work with numerous characters that are disabled, fat, mentally ill, trans, I can go on).

If you’re writing a story, I don’t think you can give yourself any pats on the back for having one or two characters of color. I think we’ve moved beyond that type of ‘diversity by numbers’ … especially when the numbers are often piss poor. I’m seeing IFs where there are three characters of color to six white ROs. Not only is that ‘ratio’ (for lack of a better word) shitty on it’s own, people don’t consider that the actual dynamic is 1:1:1:6. People of color are not a monolith. I, as a black Haitian-American woman, may have similar experiences as an indigenous woman from Canada and a persian person from Iran …. But we are not the same. Yes, it is great to have a diversity of characters. I’m not saying you shouldn’t include people from different backgrounds in your works.

But please consider why it is never the case that there are two Japanese-Brazilians, three black people from Manchester, and a mixed-race Indigenous/Afro-Latina from Queens, and one white person. It is extremely rare to see multiple of one race or ethnicity in an IF if that race isn’t white.

I feel not only is that problem, I believe it is a conversation that needs to be had. Both as a community and as something writers discuss with themselves, as they review their work.

And that is the tip of the iceberg. We need to have discussions on the tendency of characters of color to have light colored eyes, or the preference of East Asians (and light skinned ones at that) over any other Asian, or the ambiguously brownness of descriptors. We need to talk about white-washing in face claims that directly oppose established descriptions, or how Artbreeder being bad at black people is NOT an excuse for your black character looking similar to the one in three different other IFs (put the effort in).

We as a community need to have several discussions or else I feel it will be another five years before we’re dragging our feet toward better representation. And that shouldn’t be the case. At all.

#interactive fiction #interactive novel #visual novels #representation matters #racism #fandom racism #in short i think a lot of people thinks criticism of representation and racism equals judgment / concrit regarding what is there rather tha #observing and commenting on what is NOT there and HOW it is not there #does anyone sit and ask themselves 'why did i not picture a dark skinned indian man as this ro?'#'why did i feel this character needed to be white rather than black?'#'why do i continously put / see only a certain type of black character or a certain look of latin@ as a ROMANTIC option?'#asking these questions are ways to press for better rep AND to challenge our own bias #and most importantly accountability isn't just for the big players -- we need it for our friends and ourselves (myself included) or else we #as a community and as a type of art are going to fall into the same wholes that other media before us are / have (ie video games and films #and television and etc) when i feel IF (like RP and fanfiction) have a very unique position and perspective #and i think that is why it is maddening to see us fall into the same traps we condemn when there is NO reason to do so #long post #longpost #grapecase posts

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cacoetheswriting · 3 years

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for you and i

Pairings: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: honestly just pure fluff, mild swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, implied smut (nothing graphic) Word Count: 2.2k Summary: A small collection of moments throughout reader’s and Spencer’s evolving relationship that features their song. A/N: this symbol ~~ signifies a time jump.

A/N: i finished my rewatch of bones last night (im hella emotional), and one of my favourite “running gags” from the show is hot blooded being booths and brennans song, and how the writers reminded us of that from season to season. it definitely definitely inspired me to write this. also i did this instead of working on my assignment as a birthday gift from me to me lmao ENJOY

The plane trip back home was completely silent.

Morgan and JJ were catching up on much needed sleep. Emily, lost in thought, observed the night sky through the small window. Rossi was reading, as Hotch worked his way through some case files.

Spencer sat next to you at the far end of the jet. You were listening to music while his nose was buried in a book. Although you could tell he couldn't really concentrate on the words as the page remained unturned for the last fifteen minutes.

“Why don’t you let your eyes rest for a minute?” You suggested, carefully taking out one earphone. “A short nap could be good for you. It doesn’t look like you’re retaining any information anyway.”

Spencer nodded slowly, agreeing with you. He shut the novel in his lap and tilted his head to look at you, his lips pursed into a thin shy smile. “You should get some sleep too Y/N.”

“I’m okay.” You replied. “Plus someone has to keep watch in case the jet gets abducted by aliens or something.” A sly grin appeared on your face as Spencer chuckled softly. He rested his head against the chair and gradually closed his eyes.

You watched him for a moment. Examining his perfect features. Your innocent crush growing by the second - something you would never admit out loud in fear it would ruin your friendship.

When you were about to place the earpiece back in your ear, his eyes shot back open. He sighed heavily.

"I actually don’t think I can.” Spencer said quietly and once again turned his attention to you. His gaze briefly landed on the phone in your hands before travelling up to your face. “Did you know that in addition to aiding relaxation and helping with falling asleep quicker as well as improving sleep quality, playing music before bed can improve sleep efficiency? Which means more time you are in bed is actually spent sleeping.” You raised a curious brow waiting for him to continue, but he just asked: “Can I ask what you are listening to?”.

Instead of answering his question, you wiped the dangling earphone against your blouse and handed it to him. He took it, a little hesitantly, and placed it in his ear - the two of you unconsciously shifting closer to one another.

You could tell by the expression on his face that he didn't know the song currently playing, nor did he particularly like it, but he didn't protest or ask you to skip it. In his eyes, you were kind enough to share your source of entertainment therefore he would never push to change what you were clearly enjoying.

The song ended, another began, and another, and another. Eventually Spencer closed his eyes again. The two of you continued to silently listen to the various songs on your playlist - a wild mix of different artists and genres, definitely showcasing your weird music taste.

Touch Me by The Doors began to play.

“I like this one.” Spencer muttered, eyes still closed. “I didn't peg you to be a rock fan.” You stated curiously. Spencer chuckled softly. “I wouldn't call myself a fan per se, this is just a very good song.” “This is actually my favourite song of theirs.” You proclaimed.

Sinking deeper in your seat, you quietly sang along. “What was that promise that you made?” To your pleasant surprise, the young doctor joined in. “Why won't you tell me what she said? What was that promise that you made?”

Lost in the pure bliss of the moment, you gently rested your head against Spencer’s shoulder. His eyes fluttered open. He glanced down at you and smiled to himself. Yes. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.

“Watch it!!!” You shouted and rudely gestured after the vehicle that overtook you out of nowhere, almost sliding right into your car. Frustrated, you ran your hands through your hair before placing them on the wheel again. A deep sigh escaping your lips in the process.

Spencer chuckled next to you. “Maybe next time I’ll drive.”

“Sorry.” You muttered, tone of your voice changing completely for a moment. “People are just so fucking stupid.” The groan was full of annoyance, and it only made the young doctor snicker louder.

“How about we turn on the radio?” Spencer suggested. “Cool you down a little since we have another hour drive ahead of us, and I would preferably like to get there in one piece.” He teased. You rolled your eyes at his comment, but didn’t protest.

Taking your silence as a yes, Spencer fumbled with the car radio.

‘Come on, come on, come on, come on Now touch me, babe’

Voice of Jim Morrison blared through the speakers. Instantly, your whole body loosened up. No longer feeling annoyed or angry. Driver’s rage dissipated. The frown circling your features was replaced by a happy smile.

‘Can't you see that I am not afraid?’

Stopping at a red light, you looked at Spencer who was lightly bopping his head to the beat of the music. His gentle curls bouncing with his every move.

“You know, the universe is telling us that this is our song now.” You noted. The young doctor met your gaze, and the grin present on his face made your heart skip a beat. A faint hit of nerves cascaded through your body as you anxiously waited for his response.

Spencer shrugged his shoulders slightly. “It’s a good song. The universe could have wished us a lot worse.”

As the light ahead turned green, and you were driving once again, the two of you burst into the chorus as loud as you possibly could: “Now, I'm going to love you! Till the heavens stop the rain!”.

The bar was filled to the brim with people wanting to unwind after a long week of work. That included the BAU team.

“One more for the road!” Morgan exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. He motioned to Hotch for assistance and the two of them briskly walked off in the direction of the bar. “While they’re gone, I’m gonna hop to the loo.” Penelope chimed. “I’ll join you.” JJ spoke up and they hurried off.

Spencer sat beside you, shoulder pressed lightly to yours. He was sipping on the remainder of his drink and you were about to open your mouth to say something, engage him in conversation, when you heard it. The song. Your song.

Your head instantly snapped up at him and a mischievous grin spread on your face. By the time Spencer realised what was going on, you were up on your feet grabbing him by the arm, and pulling him onto the self-made dance floor.

You began to sway along to the music. The alcohol currently flowing through your veins definitely made you that much braver. It also gave Spencer the confidence boost he needed to join you with no objections.

Despite the questionable looks you were undoubtedly receiving, the two of you jumped around like kids. Singing the song out loud to one another. It was as if the world around you disappeared. Like you and Spencer were the only people left in the bar.

‘Till the stars fall from the sky’

And when the night concluded, when everyone said their goodbyes, Spencer continued to hum the melody of your song as he waited with you for the taxi. It was then you chose to make the first move - colliding your lips with his in a carefree kiss.

They were softer than you ever imagined.

All at once, the attraction between you two and the tension that built up over the years burst. You grabbed onto his jacket pulling him even closer. Suddenly, the cold night air didn’t feel so cold anymore. It was hot, burning like a flame. Your body was on fire and so was his.

Spencer’s long arms wrapped around you, trapping you in the fire. One of his hands moved lower down your back, while the other tightly gripped your hair. The sensation that he felt was unimaginable. He always imagined what you would taste like, although he never expected anything would happen. He imagined how your body would feel against his. How your lips taste. But this, this exceeded all expectations.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He said in a smoky voice after pulling away, his hands now holding your face. “That’s what I was going to say.” You managed to whisper before his lips landed on yours again. Your heart pounding hard inside your chest, it felt as if it was about to explode.

Spencer huffed as he placed a heavy cardboard box down on the ground. He straightened himself, flattened down his crinkly t-shirt, and turned to you with a smile. “That’s the last of it.” He stated proudly, placing his hands on his hips.

“My hero.” You ambled towards him and pecked his lips. “Thank you.” His arms made their way around your waist, pulling you in close. He placed a tender kiss on your forehead before glancing around the room.

“I can’t believe we’re officially moved in together.”

“It’s been a longtime coming.”

“That it definitely has.” Spencer smiled kissing you. He let his arms fall and shuffled around to start unpacking.

Having planned ahead, you removed a speaker from your handbag. You quickly set it up, connecting it to your phone, and pressed play to ease the process that would carry on into the night.

Starting with the kitchen, and the more fragile items, the two of you made your way through the new apartment.

Hours passed. It was getting quite late as tiny yawns continuously escaped your lips. However, the hard work was paying off because space started to feel more and more like home.

You decided to finish up for the night - tomorrow was another day. Yawning, you leaned into the arms of your boyfriend. Spencer kissed the top of your head and began to sway you slowly from side to side.

Right on queue, the guitar intro you both recognised well began to play through the speakers. You smiled into his chest before breaking free from his embrace.

‘Yeah! Come on, come on, come on, come on Now touch me, babe Can't you see that I am not afraid’

Sharing a knowing look, you both started to dance. Not wanting to disrupt any neighbours you both chose not to sing along like you usually did. Instead, you mouthed the words in sync as if you were competing in a lip-sync battle.

‘What was that promise that you made? Why won't you tell me what she said? What was that promise that you made?’

The two of you circled happily around one another. It wasn't long before the air guitars came into play.

And as the song concluded, Spencer cupped your cheeks. “I love you.” He muttered, gazing deep into your eyes. “I love you too.” You replied smiling.

Without another word, Spencer’s lips crashed against yours. Both your heads tilting hungrily from side to side to vary pressure. Hearts hammering loudly. Your hands made their way up his muscled back as his hands traveled down your neck, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Why don’t we move this party to the bedroom?” He suggested, his face still only inches away from yours. You lifted your hand, and brushed some of his light curls away behind his ear. “I do believe I read somewhere that it is considered bad luck not to christen the bed on the first night of living together.” You stated giggling.

Spencer raised an interested brow. “What else does the article say?”

“How about I just show you.” And like that, your lips were on his once again as he blindly led you to the bed.

“And now ladies and gentlemen we would like to bring out our newlyweds, Dr. & Mrs. Reid, to dance their first dance as husband and wife. Let’s give them a hand.”

Spencer turned to you, that warm kindhearted smile you loved so much circling his lips. He offered you his hand. “Mrs. Reid.” You took it gladly. “Dr. Reid.”

He led you to the middle of the dance floor and swiftly wrapped one arm around your waist, holding you close, while the other hand intertwined itself with yours. Music started to play and the two of you swayed elegantly from side to side.

“I have a surprise for you.” Spencer whispered in your ear before briefly pulling apart and twirling you around.

Suddenly the music stopped. Sounds of disappointment echoed through the watching crowd as you shot your husband a quizzical look.

A melody you knew all too well filled the space.

Your mouth parted slightly in shock as Spencer let his arm fall from your waist. He spun you around once again and began rhythmically banging his head to the beat of the song. You couldn't help but giggle at the sight before joining in.

Excited screams echoed through the crowd as they cheered on. Even though you heard them, you knew people were watching and documenting this moment, you felt as if there was no-one else around - déjà vu.

Spencer pressed his forehead lightly to yours, his hands cupping your cheeks. His lips twirled into a smile. A big smile that you reciprocated. Feeling as if you were on cloud nine, you looked deep into each others eyes and whole heartedly sang along with the song. Your song.

‘I'm going to love you Till the heavens stop the rain I'm going to love you Till the stars fall from the sky For you and I’

masterlist

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vinnieworld · 3 years

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5 tips to boost 5 days of Productivity

We all love to procrastinate and most of us (including myself) have made sport out of this, but is this how we really should be approaching things?

The answer is NO.... apparently

So join me in my self evaluation of bringing you 5 tips how I avoided procrastination by being a bit lazy.

Being productive for a whole week when you have too much on your plate but you spend your entire weekend scrolling through social media... well me too :)

Though Mondays suck, its a brand NEW week so we can't let Mondays win and ruin out entire week right?

Tip 1 - Preparation before the week start

- Make a to do list - For the next day or the week

A short list of your most prioritised tasks e.g. starting that essay you been avoiding, even if it just picking the ttile

Make sure to not put too much pressure on these tasks

Keep it simple

DO NOT put too many things, be realistic only add things you know you can achieve

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

We all have those sleepless nights, especially when you have a 9am lecture/class the next day. Somehow you end up going to sleep at 4am still make it to your lecture on time, though the rush might be exciting this is not the way to start the week because your mind will get used to this so much and this becomes your normal routine.

Not going to lie, I am super guilty of this but I found out this not only drains my energy, it strips me away from my motivation and make me lazy all the time.

So one bazzare night I thought to myself what would I potentially want to do this coming week, so I got my phone started typing my "potential" to do list for the week, okay the list was quite long and seemed quite overwhelming, and I knew I wouldn't do all of this so though I made the list I didn't put too much pressure on this. When I checked back in the middle of the week I did most of the things on the do to list unconsiously. This was so surprising I never get things done.... what changed ?

Most of the time we put too much pressure ourself, that's why we procrastinate and they avoid the things we need to do. The minute the pressure is gone you get the urge to do your things even if you are unaware of it.

Tip 2 - Follow today's work TODAY

- Follow the lecture and make notes while you're attending the lecture

Take brief notes on what's on the slides

If the lecturer give extra info add those especially

DO NOT panic if you don't write everything on the slide, remember these are brief notes to for later revision

Speed is not important, what's important is that you have something written on the paper

when the lecture/class is finished fill in the gaps you left during it, do this right after while you still have the energy.

one page = one lecture (unless the lecture is 90 slides then its bit tricky)

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

I personally find it very hard to keep on top of things, especially with how different lecturers have different methods and speed with delivering their content. I tried many methods, recording the lectures, printing the slides, handwriting everything but it only made me bored of the things I was learning.

I can't stare at pages and pages of writing when I'm trying to revise, so best way for me to do this is if I have one page or two for the entire lecture. This helped me a lot of condense my notes, motivated me to keep writing and I felt accomplished by the end of every lecture.

Tip 3 - Keep one book for all your modules

- Invest in a chunky subject divider notebook

This is where you write the notes form the previous tip

One book to take to all your lectures, don't have to carry five or more

Write all the assignment and exams for that subject in the dividers (Kinda like a self-reminder)

Keep a general section where you write extra information that relates to the subjects (e.g. extra seminars, extra activity sessions, groups project notes, your own research for subjects, assignment preparation etc. )

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

Most of my detailed notes are digitalised, this is way easier then writing hours and hours of detailed notes by hand. But all the modules, lectures, practicals are separated so it's too much of hassle to find what I want when I want to have a quick glance at something.

Dividing the book by subject and seeing different content I am going to need regularly being on one place really is therapeutic for me, give me less stress so I don't have to spend time looking through pages of notes to find just one sentence.

Having one book for all my modules, helped me so much to keep on motivated to write notes and keep on top of it and when I revisit it, it's so pleasing to the eye.

Tip 4 - Write flashcards on the day

- Put little bit of extra into a flashcard

Once you finished a lecture, read back and pick the most key bits and write a maximum three sentences

Keep it very very brief

Think of pictograms for some words. e.g. little blog with stokes for a virus or a spark for electricity

Some info you can't fit on your page put it on the flashcard, like a diagram or a table

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

I am a sucker for flashcards, seeing them makes me so happy to revise. But making them when an exam is near is frustrating so if you make them before by the time you get your exam season you already have flashcards to revise from. How convenient!

Tip 5 - Write a sentence or research a bit everyday for your assignments

- Every time you feel like you done nothing today take a look assignment and write sentence - Take this step by step everyday and add information along the way

Pick a title first for whatever your assignment is

Do basic research on the title you chose

Do a basic plan

Improve on the basic research

Add information to the plan

and ect....

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

Doing assignments is tricky, very boring, they can be very long and stressful so we avoid even starting it until the day before it's due. Okay, we all work well under pressure but we don't really produce our best work under a day so investing little time everyday or every other helped me to produce more quality work than normal and it was less pressuring and stressful when I started the binge writing on two three days before the deadline, because all the research, preparation is done all I had to do was write and improve my work along the way.

I actually cannot recommend this enough because it saved me from a lot of breakdowns over my assignments. Just by adding something to it every now and then I basically finished my first draft by the time I actually want to start to write properly.

Bonus tip - Take the weekend off! - > If you're like me and get bored very easily with doing the work then follow these tips for the days you have school or uni, finish everything by Friday and take the whole weekend of .... TRUST ME you will be much more prepared for Monday.

Thank you so much ya'll for reading this, I do ramble a lot but it's a part of me that I embrace so I hope this was helpful for you and make sure to tell me your thoughts and feelings.

Till next time Lovelies x

#students #university #productivity #self improvement #study motivation #procrastination #study notes #tips and tricks #study tips

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guerilla935 · 4 years

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My Favorite Fishing in Video Games Where Fishing is Not Core Game Play

A really awesome surprise for me is always to boot up a game that is full of action and suspense to be introduced to a fishing side activity. I have toiled away at fishing in games for hundreds of hours at least. It has gotten so bad in some instances that my friends have asked me why I haven’t just taken the plunge into real fishing. It’s definitely because that is a lot of work and in real life I don’t catch a fish every 30 seconds. They have also wondered why I don’t just play a fishing simulator like Planet Fishing (Shout out to Planet Fishing that’s a great game). And that’s where I have to think for a while. Fishing while you have better things to do like save the world is very special. You aren’t fishing because it’s the objective of the game or because that’s why you are there, you are fishing because it’s fun and maybe you need a break to swing a fishing rod instead of a sword. And then you can stop, and get back to fighting or whatever the rest of the game entails. Below are games that have fishing in them for mostly no reason at all. I have shamelessly spent way to long with my bait in these waters and absolutely loved every second of it and I hope that you (the reader) can find a lot of relaxation in these waters as well.

Pokemon Series

Since the very first Pokemon game there has been fishing. You get the old rod from some guy and then you are free to fish up as many goldfishes that you want hoping that one of them will grow up to be a 21 foot tall dragon. Pokemon has combined their fishing with their main game play and makes you at least start a battle with the fish you drag onto shore. Now fishing in Pokemon is pretty subpar mainly because a single Pokemon game hasn’t really been known to have more than a handful of Pokemon that you can fish for. Also if you are looking for a strong water type Pokemon you could do a lot better than fishing for it. Typically a Pokemon player will fish about 5-10 times total. And although fishing for Pokemon isn’t all that great it has been in every game for over 20 years and that is pretty impressive. It’s a small detail that makes the world of Pokemon feel like a real world of wild creatures.

Sonic Adventure DX

In Sonic Adventure DX you are given the choice to play as a lot of different characters, one of which is named Big the Cat. Most of the characters are combat characters that rely on speed and attacks to get through levels, some even wielding rocket launchers and extremely oversized hammers. However when you start the story of Big the Cat you are thrown in a completely opposite direction. Big the Cat is a giant purple cat who lives in the jungle with his best friend Froggy. Froggy accidentally swallows one of the most powerful objects in the Sonic universe and Big the Cat must chase him all over the world trying to fish him out of where he is hiding so that he can eject the Chaos Emerald out of him and they can return to their life in the jungle. The fishing mechanics in this game actually are really good and this is probably because Sega had just put out a series of mildly successful Bass fishing games before releasing this game. Either way its absolutely hilarious that Big the Cat gets to defeat Chaos 6 right before Super Sonic has his showdown with Chaos Perfect.

Final Fantasy XV

In Final Fantasy XV you play as Noctis and his favorite hobby is fishing. When I first played this game I sped through it and never fished once and reached the end of the game never indulging Noctis in his hobby. When I replayed Final Fantasy XV I fished for 50 hours and then ejected the disc from my console. The fishing in Final Fantasy XV is surprisingly deep with a lot of the vendors supporting what you could call a fishing road trip. In the game it is extremely dangerous to be out at night so I would plan day trips to lakes to maximize the amount of fishing I would get to do. I would prepare days in advance to make sure I could afford the trip and that I had enough supplies to both protect myself at the lake and have enough supplies to last the whole day. Final Fantasy XV really is a game about getting really distracted and fishing is probably its best distraction. My days on the lake were the perfect balance of peaceful and rewarding, this game offers an awesome reward of well planned trips and a good haul of fish.

Final Fantasy XIV Online

Final Fantasy XIV is the only game I have ever played where the fishing played exactly like its combat. When you are fighting enemies in a dungeon in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. When you are fishing in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. Note you are doing so at a much more leisurely and less life threatening pace but you are still doing it. I never maxed out the fisher class but I got it into the expansion content which was a really long and relaxing experience. Yet another Final Fantasy title where the real meat of the game is in getting distracted. When you fish you also sell on a player market that fluctuates based on market price just like real fish. You get the relaxing fishing side of the game and also an aggressive economic number crunching side as well. I spent way too long with a real pen and paper deciding how much I should sell for on any particular day and bossing around my two cat girl employees.The MMO aspect of the game adds so much to what you would expect to be a very solitary experience.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Have you ever gone fishing for hours to receive an empty bottle? That is exactly what kick started my addiction to fishing in Twilight Princess. An empty bottle in Twilight Princess means another way to heal yourself, another way to add oil to a lantern, another way to carry useless water around. The only way to get the 4th bottle in the game is to go to a dedicated fishing spot and fish until you pulled it out of the pond. The actual fishing is pretty weird, it involves motion controls which I still am not entirely sure what they do or how to properly use them but it is really fun to hold the pole in gyroscope and set the lure in the water waiting for fish to come get a nibble. Although the physics with the water make it difficult to see if you have actually gotten a bite or not it still is enjoyable the other 85% of the time it works.

Stardew Valley

So this one is at the top of every other “fishing in games” list and there is a big reason for that. It’s really good. I think in my first Stardew Valley farm I gave up farming entirely and fished all day every day and stopped to buy food to replenish my energy and go back at it. I really didn’t care about getting rich or making enough money to expand the farm or get to know everyone I actually spent about 50 hours just fishing. The fishing takes some skill and a pretty keen eye but the random jerks of the fish and the rhythm of the game play are so fun to try to master. It’s a part of Stardew Valley that I felt like I was continuously improving on as time went on and it was really fun. I mean I don’t recommend it because you’ll end up moderately poor but it was really fun.

Fantasy Life

Fantasy Life offers you 12 potential jobs, you could be a brilliant blacksmith or a devious potions maker, a lumberjack or a knight, a hunter or a seamstress. However your inner dad is calling and you decide you want to play through a fantasy RPG as a fisherman, hell yeah. the story is relatively short so you can quickly unlock a lot of locales to fish at and there is a manageable economy system that lets you deal in fish in advantageous ways. You can even pick up cooking on the side and make fancy dinners and sell the fish for higher you can do that as well. Fantasy Life is like a clever mix between Animal Crossing and Final Fantasy XIV and it kind of succeeds and falls short of it. The fishing also takes a good amount of skill and rhythmic approach to master so it doesn’t get boring almost at all until you have cleared the game.

Maple Story 2

Maple Story 2 is one of the most expressive and cutest games that I have ever played. And the fishing is no different, its all about style. The fishing in Maple Story 2 is monotonous and can get old but you do it for the chibi clout. Because much like the rest of the game you can look however you want and do whatever you want and sometimes you just feel like kicking back and throwing lure in the water at the beach. I never got super into the fishing in this game but it won me over with its adorable design and stylish atmosphere.

Animal Crossing Series

Of course I had to include the most popular game right now. Animal Crossing has become something of a connection between people when we can’t leave the house. A thing we all have in common on social media and with our friends. My first experience with Animal Crossing really starts with New Horizons and I was completely blown away. The fishing isn’t super complex or difficult but the range of what you can pull out of the water and what you can do with it is absolutely breathtaking. For a game about cartoon people living with humanoid cartoon animals the fish looking photo realistic. And the museum where they can be kept is stunning. The museum looks like it was designed to capture the feel of being in a museum and matches the design of all the great real life aquariums and observatories. Although it is a bit frustrating when your rod breaks it is easy enough to make one (or worst case buy one) to get your bait back in the water.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Tell me I’m wrong, you can’t. Isabelle getting added to Smash brought a very powerful fishing move that isn’t practical all the time but is really funny. Wouldn’t recommend this game if you are looking to relax and fish but I do recommend hooking your friend with a fish hook and send them flying off screen if you had to.

Minecraft

I have a very special role in Minecraft when I join a friends server. A role that I assign to myself. While everyone is off getting awesome swords, spelunking for diamonds, and exploring the infinite landscape, I build a small wooden shack and I set up a farm with an irrigation canal and start fishing. A steady supply of food is necessary and while I’m hanging out with my friends in a server I’m happy to be the one to provide it. The fishing in this game is probably the slowest of all the ones on this list but is the most useful. just throwing the fish in the oven creates food that can help keep you and your companions alive for a long time. I think I definitely have my limits with Minecraft fishing and I couldn’t do it for hours on end it is rewarding to set up shop and find a nice place to settle down for a few hours to fish.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

This is the only Tactical RPG in this post. Fire Emblem: Three Houses has sections between combat where you can go and talk to your students and do other activities. We aren’t here to discuss other activities though we are here for the fishing. The fishing allows you to catch fish for some reason that I’m sure is good but never intrigued me enough to learn. All I know about the fishing in Fire Emblem: Three Houses is that it’s fun. I started to bust through combat just so that I could get back to fishing. The funniest part about this one is that the fish has a health bar. Pressing the A button at the exact moment finds a way to become easier and still find ways to mess you up. Either way, I’m not that interested in tactical RPGs but I heard there was fishing in this game so I had to play it and it was worth it.

Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy

In Jak & Daxter, Daxter gets turned into a small animal by dark eco while exploring a dangerous island off the shore of his home with his best friend Jak. To get back to the island to investigate, the pair have to borrow a boat owned by a fisherman who is troubled by an invasive species of poisonous eel that is ruining his haul. He asks Jak to catch fish for him without catching any eels. This fishing mini game can only be done once but it is going to either be something you think is very unique or a huge waste of time. All I’ll say is that the sound that the fish makes when it goes into the net is absolutely a reward in itself it is so satisfying. But anyways, more intense than some other options here but get it done so you can get back to absorbing eco powers and jumping on stuff.

Shovel Knight

Shovel Knight is a 2D action platformer but you can also fish. And you fish for the best kind of fish, money. You can get some other stuff too like health pickups and magic replenishers but we know what you want. You see that little glint and you pop out the fishing rod and pull out those money bags. If you are devoted enough you can even get a surprise from the Troupple King (long live his highness) if you fish out the right stuff. I don’t even know if I fished all that much when I played Shovel Knight but it’s hilarious that you can.

NieR: Automata

I did not play a lot of NieR and that’s because I was fishing. I don’t know why all I did was fish but you throw your little robot in the pond and you lean on a magical stool so honestly it was good enough for me.

Club Penguin

If you know then you know. In hind sight there really wasn’t a whole lot to do in Club Penguin but this mini game really messed me up. You basically get to move up and down, catching fish and avoiding trash and other hazards. Basically trying to do this and catch as much fish as possible to avoid having to ask your parents for real money to pay for snacks to feed a virtual ball of fluff with eyeballs. I don’t really remember how challenging it really was but I remember getting decently high scores to about like 100 fish per round so I guess it was pretty easy if I could do that at age 10.

Rune Factory 4

I’m gonna be very honest about this one and say that the fishing in Rune Factory 4 is basically just Animal Crossing fishing but more anime. The fish react to the pole the same, the fish almost look the same, and the buttons to respond are the same. What makes this one special is where you can take it. You can fish in the little moat in town, in the lake, in a dungeon full of monsters, in a lake that is eternally the season fall, anywhere. You are constricted by the boundaries of Stardew Valley and that is how much energy you have and how much time you have in the day. It’s still fun to fish but I wish that they had used their fun fantasy setting to give the ability to fish up some cool made up fish instead of strictly things that exist in real life.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Ok, diving, fishing, same thing. Diving in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is just fishing with your whole body. It works a lot in the same way as Pokemon where you fish up monsters to fight and get the rewards from them. It is a completely optional activity however if you decide to undertake the grind of scavenging in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 then you will never hurt for money ever again. It makes my wonder why Rex stopped being a salvager to do odd jobs because this was PROFITABLE. The main incentive is that there are spots that spawn a certain enemy that drop cores. Cores are like gacha or loot boxes that contain new anime girl partners that deal huge damage in fights. They even have their own side quests and story lines. I spent maybe 30 hours grinding before giving up on this game and while it does become tiresome I really enjoyed the random rewards of possibly getting a new companion or a really cool weapon.

It’s been tossed around that every great RPG has fishing in it. I won’t argue that point but a lot of great RPGs certainly do have fishing in them. Everyone needs a break sometimes and fishing is the perfect activity to remind us to stop and take that break. Even games can get long and without these distractions it might be so much harder to complete these harrowing tasks. Don’t forget to take breaks and just enjoy the sound of the water every once in a while because there’s no rush playing video games.

Honorable Mentions:

Kingdom Hearts: Sora fishing with his bare hands on Destiny Island

Persona 4: Weird aqueduct fishing

Persona 5: Marina fishing life

Sea of Thieves: A pirates life for me

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enterprisetrampstamp · 3 years

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Request: TOS Spock and Bones being an adorable married couple while aboard the Enterprise!

"All I'm saying is, you could've warned me," Bones was complaining, before the fabric of his uniform pants had even touched the plastic of the bench across the table from his Captain.

Jim, his focus directed at the PADD containing the paperwork that Yeoman Rand would be coming to fetch in less than five minutes, hummed a neutral acknowledgement and trusted his Chief Medical Officer to continue his diatribe with only that minimum of prompting.

"A chance to prepare--" Bones's fork flicked through the air-- "A chance to brace myself. Pretty sure that after everything you've put me through over the years, Jimmy, I deserved one."

"Almost certainly," Jim agreed, dashing off another signature with the rubber tip of his stylus.

"Good of you to admit it. Spock didn't!"

"What didn't I do, Doctor?" Spock asked, and-- unlike when Bones had sat down-- Jim looked up to shoot his Number One a crooked grin of welcome. (It wasn't about Spock, specifically-- it was about that, that warm feeling of vicarious happiness he got at seeing his two best friends oh-so-casually brush their fingers against each other in a gentle "Good morning" kiss.)

Bones rolled his eyes; Spock raised an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't admit I deserved a bit of warning before you dumped an entire crop of fresh-faced, bushy-tailed morons in my lap." Bones stabbed at his eggs vindictively, his expression sour. "Do you know how much work--"

Oh, that's what this was about? The new nurses and interns who'd joined the crew at their last pit stop?

"They're not morons," Jim told him, amused, as hebturned back to scrolling through his PADD. "And you did have warning, Bones; you had to sign off on all of them."

"I was told that I was offering my opinion on their placement on other ships!" Bones threw his hands wide, his left hand smacking into Spock's chest unapologetically. "Not mine!"

Spock gently removed Bones's hand from his personal space, and Jim sighed. "At the time, you were," he said dryly. "But several of your nurses have resigned their commissions recently, and this mission has been turning out a lot differently than we anticipated at the start; you could always use some additional hands in surgery--"

"Like I would trust these fools with a scalpel--!"

"They aren't even fresh out of the Academy, Bones," Jim reminded him. "Every one of them has at least a year of prior experience in a hospital and performed admirably--" he looked up, eyebrows raised. "At least, according to your own assessment."

"Have they yet shown themselves to be unsatisfactory?" Spock asked, calmly cutting to the center of Bones's ranting, and Bones scowled as he buttered his toast.

"They're fine," he said, shortly. "But not a one of them is prepared for the differences between traditional hospital practices and those of a starship, Jim. On another ship--" he waved a hand. "They'd have time to ease into things. But here? On the Enterprise? They need their hands held, Jim, and Chris, Geoff, and I only have so many hands to go around."

Spock looked to be considering this point deeply, so Jim left him to it for the moment, glancing guiltily at the chronometer on the far wall of the mess and resuming the race to finish his paperwork. It's not that Bones was wrong, in Jim's opinion; it was just that they didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. The CMO and the indomitable Nurse Chapel would simply have to ride herd on the new kids until they either shaped up or washed out-- no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

"You believe they are likely to freeze the first time they're placed under pressure," Spock surmised.

Bones-- when Jim glanced up into the silence of hesitation-- pulled a face and shook his head. "All hospitals are, by definition, life or death situations; they've already proven they can handle 'pressure'," he said. "But basic xenobiology credits don't do justice to the realities of practicing your craft on biological systems you barely understand-- present company included-- with diseases no one's ever seen before and half the equipment you would have wanted. It's their imaginations I'm worried about, Mr. Spock."

"Then perhaps it is their imagination you should focus on training, Doctor."

"There are a couple security officers trying to put an improv comedy club together," Jim suggested, hiding his grin by ducking his head further towards the PADD as he dashed off another signature, and a bit of toasted crust bounced off of his temple after Bones threw it at him. "That was assault of a commanding officer, I'll have you know."

"Shove it, Jim. The grown ups are actually brainstorming solutions over here."

"Of course," Jim agreed, smoothly, and pretended that "brainstorming" was the only reason Bones had laid his hand over Spock's when Spock placed it palm up on the table.

"Sims, maybe?" Bones murmured. "I could write something up, if you'd be willing to code it. No right answers, only better ones; see what they come up with."

"It would be my pleasure, Doctor."

A beat, a shit-eating grin in his periphery, and Spock repeated, sharply-- "Doctor."

"My virgin ears and I are glad Bones kept that one telepathic," Jim said, hiding his own shit eating grin behind his cup of coffee as he took a sip, and Bones laughed.

"Not in front of the Captain, Mr. Spock, or whatever will appear on your next performance review?"

Spock sighed. "You have a singularly frustrating personality, Doctor."

"You're one to talk. You know, Jim, he uses cinnamon toothpaste?"

"Perish the thought." Jim signed another dotted line, his feeling of foreboding growing as he scrolled further and further down towards the next. Janice was going to be here in--

"Your yeoman has just walked into the mess, Captain," Spock told him.

"And she's a woman on a mission," Bones added, eith a thread of laughter lacing through his tone. "A tactical retreat may be in order, Jim boy."

Captain James Tiberius Kirk did not turn to look over his shoulder, because that would be a sign of weakness. "Buy me five minutes," he said, his tone just shy of an order. "I'll speed read."

"How are we supposed to do that?" Bones demanded, but Spock-- bless those pointed ears of his-- was already rising to his feet.

"Accompany me, Doctor," he requested.

And, with a sigh, Bones took a few quick bites of his toast and then rose to his feet, wiping his fingers on a napkin as he trailed behind Spock. Jim paused his reading only long enough to watch them intercept Janice--

What they said couldn't be heard from across the room, but Bones's right hand found the small of Spock's back, his wedding ring glinting under the light as he waved the other about enthusiastically, and his exuberance combined with Spock's quiet intensity commanded Janice's attention quite completely. By the time she'd wormed her way free, Jim was outting the last flourishing signature on the paperwork, and he handed the PADD over to her with his most charming smile.

"Thank you, Yeoman."

"No, Captain," she said, with a smile that was far too shark-like for the sweetness of her tone. "Thank you." And then-- laughing-- she was gone.

Bones looked smug, and Spock's eyes glittered with Vulcan amusement, and suddenly, Jim was feeling much less charitable towards the man's ears.

"Gentlemen," he said suspiciously. "May I ask what price I've just paid for those five minutes?"

"You know, Yeoman Rand has a lot of friends on the ship, in all kinds of departments," Bones said, as he tucked into his remaining eggs. "Including Security."

"She's a popular woman," Jim agreed, slowly.

"Ensigns Martinez and Harper will be most grateful to hear of your interest in joining their improvisational comedy group, Captain."

Jim stared at Spock. "No."

Bones smiled. "Oh, yes."

"No!"

"His idea," Bones said, jerking his thumb at Spock.

"I was under the impression you had been looking for a method of engendering further goodwill between yourself and the crew," he said, with a perfect Vulcan poker face.

"Wouldn't do to back out on a promise now, Captain," Bones told him cheerfully. "Say, they still encourage audience participation st these things, don't they?"

"A staple of the genre, Doctor."

"My," Bones said, smiling into the horror dawning across Jim's face. "I guess I'll just have to make sure I never miss a show."

Spock hummed as he returned to his own breakfast. "I believe I shall have to miss every show, for fear that you would volunteer me for a sketch."

"Well." Bones wiped his mouth on a napkin, blue eyes twinkling. "Even so, Mr. Spock. I'll see you at lunch."

Spock bid him a pleasant morning shift, and-- with a brush of their fingertips-- Bones was gone.

"You didn't really promise Janice that I'd be doing improv comedy, did you?" Jim asked, weakly. "I'll forgive you for the implication if you simply admit--"

"No, Captain, I did not." But the way he said it...

Jim closed his eyes. "Spock. Did Dr. McCoy promise it?"

"Yes, Captain, he did."

"I know you love him, Spock, but I'd like your permission to ship him back to Earth--"

"Negative."

"He'll be happy there," Jim promised. "I'll set him up on a nice farmstead in Georgia--"

"I don't believe that the life of a farmer would especially agree with me."

"I'm not planning on sending you."

Spock raised an eyebrow, and Jim sighed, relenting. "I suppose you would follow him, wouldn't you?"

"Of course, Captain."

"Of course," Jim agreed, with a ghost of a smile breaking through his glum mood. It was nice, seeing his two best friends in love--

Even when they ganged up on him.

#a tramp stamp original #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #spock #spones #I wrote this #❤️❤️❤️ thanks for the prompt!!!

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chibimyumi · 3 years

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Hi, I hope you're doing well and staying healthy. I've read your post about how Elizabeth attacking ciel is sexism. What about Sebastian getting bully by Frances? Frances is a noblewoman grabbing a servant's hair in front of other people. And fans (including me) are like: oh! What a lioness! Even the devil himself is terrified of her! what if it was the other way around? The idea of a nobleman grabbing a governess's hair calling her nasty and indecent makes me uncomfortable and even angry.

【Response to post: Sexism against men and Kuro Sexist jokes】

Dear Anon,

I’m doing well, thank you very much. I hope you too ^^

Your question is a very good one, and it really had me thinking for a while! I myself admittedly do laugh very hard at Sebastian getting a hard time from Frances. But indeed, like you said, it is still bullying, and bullying is bad. In this post-feminist era, we have been so trained to see women bullying men as ‘funny’ or ‘empowering’, but women getting bullied as unambiguously bad instinctively, that sometimes we forget to check our double standards.

Feelings are feelings, we can’t help what we feel. But how come then that to many of us, Frances bullying Sebas is so funny, but Lizzie almost murdering O!Ciel and Nina bullying men not? This post is merely an attempt to explain this feeling for myself too, but hopefully we can all reach SOME explanation together as well???

Let us first look at in what ways Frances has been making Sebastian’s life hard. From all the interactions we have of these two so far, her main points of criticism seem to be his hair and his lack of professionalism.

Slovenly Hair

Sebastian’s hair is something we’ve gotten quite used to now after more than14 years. In Sebastian’s time however, his hair really would have been the height of impropriety for his profession.

Just like I translated O!Ciel’s looks to 2020 standards, I quickly translated Sebas’ hair to 2020 standards as well. Very clean, innit?! Very professional, innit?!

Even without the translation however, if we look at the worst of wigs from the Kuromyus, we can also see how Sebastian’s hair would be atrocious in any formal setting. Look past the fact that these actors are supposed to represent a drawn character. Just imagine being in a fancy restaurant and encountering a dead-spider feather duster on your waiter’s head.... erm....???

Something that is objectively bad on Frances’ end however, is that chapter 14 is not the first time that Frances has seen his ‘slovenly hair’. If his hair really is so unacceptable, as an authority figure Frances has the right to say something about it. However, as it seems, until this point she has never communicated at all (no, “hinting” is not the same as communicating), so Sebas had no way of knowing what he “did wrong”. She immediately grabbed for Sebastian’s hair without mercy, probably because her crept up frustration got the better of her. This is indeed entirely too harsh for a first time call-out, and entirely on Frances.

Much later in the story Frances criticises and touches Sebastian’s hair again, and this time in public while he was infiltrating as a teacher. Here Frances is even publically humiliating Sebastian in front of his students and other high ranking guests.

Especially when you keep in mind that Frances is a noblewoman and Sebas a mere servant, Frances is indeed abusing her power against a servant who cannot strike back at all.

This is indeed power play. However, though it does not justify anything, in the very least her criticism does have ground; Sebas’ hair is by all measures inadequate for any professional setting. Just be nicer about it, Frances.

Useless Butler

Now, let us look at the other reason Frances disapproves of Sebas. Sebastian is a very competent butler according to most people. To Frances however, this claim is empty. When she arrives, parts of the estate have been destroyed and something very literally exploded in her presence.

Even though Sebas is not the person actively causing the explosion or the destruction, as the senior servant of the household, it is literally his job to manage the other servants. So yes, here too, the fact that things can be destroyed in the household because he either hired inadequate staff or because he mismanages his household, DOES INDEED prove he fails at his job. As the aunt of O!Ciel who cares about her nephew AND her paternal home, Frances is in her right to be concerned and call Sebastian out for NOT doing his job.

In chapter 14, Sebastian’s schedule was all over the place and kept changing the plans for Frances. It is no wonder that she would be quite annoyed and doubt Sebastian’s adequateness. When you know your 13 year old nephew’s household is in the hands of somebody so apparently inadequate, anybody would probably be concerned. However annoyed though, Frances does not overstep any boundaries about this specific issue; she is simply supremely unimpressed. Fair enough?

Compliments where due

Something that is quite interesting though, is that despite disapproving of Sebastian, Frances does also know when to compliment him when due. After Sebastian has saved Lizzie’s life without boasting, Frances recognised how the butler does indeed have some value and the correct attitude as a servant.

She says “though you look indecent what you say is true,” and it is yet another jab at the demon’s expense. But here she is also showing that she is willing to acknowledge somebody’s achievements, looking past appearances.

Before Frances leaves, Frances jabs at Sebas a bit again, but she really is not doing anything dickish this time. Instead of making Sebas think she’s simply chosen him as target to be a prick towards, she concretely states why she doubts his professionalism. She mentions the smashed tea set, bare garden and burnt food; mistakes that are objectively unacceptable. Instead of yelling at him, she actually gives him constructive criticism. So here too, Frances is quite stern, but her grounds are solid.

In the Campania arc Sebas shows up again with the hair Frances disapproved of. Frances clearly wants to do something about it again because in her eyes, the butler simply won’t learn. But given the circumstances and Sebastian’s proven usefulness, Frances actually does shelve her agenda. Just like above, here too Frances shows that she is capable of acknowledging somebody despite their looks.

Later when the zombies dramatically outnumbered the living humans, Frances sends Sebas - who had come to her aid - back to her daughter and nephew. By sending Sebas back, Frances also shows that she in fact trusts this ‘slovenly butler’ with the lives of two children she loves deeply. Sebastian protests, but Frances immediately replies: “don’t you trust our ability as swordsmen?” Here what Frances is functionally saying is: “I trust you with your abilities, so you can trust us back.”

In short, Frances is harsh and doing power-play against a servant, but she can shelve her agenda, and does acknowledge Sebas when due.

Contrast to Nina and Lizzie

So now we have seen how Frances bullies Sebastian, and her motivation behind all her points of harshness. As we have seen, Frances’ only points of criticisms are concrete ones; Sebastian’s lack of professionalism in looks, and his lack of professionalism in management. She goes about them too harshly, but all points are legit criticisms, and something Sebas CAN and probably SHOULD work to improve.

Nina

This is in stark contrast with the way Nina bullies her victims. As far as we have seen, none of Nina’s victims have offended her in any way, nor does she ever give any concrete criticism. She has just decided that because men are men, they don’t deserve proper treatment. Even when providing clothes for men is literally part her job, she refuses to provide the ‘professional service’ she is being paid for. And because she is AN EMANCIPATED LESBIAN!!!!!!! #FEMINISM, it’s FINE (!?!?!?)

Unlike with Frances’ criticism of Sebastian’s inadequate hairdo and managing, being ‘men’ is not something any of these men can do anything about (except Sebas, but Nina doesn’t know). Bullying is always wrong, always low. But it’s EVEN lower when you bully somebody for who they are, and not what they do wrong. What does not help is that Nina seems to only be capable of treating people nicely if they happen to be sexuality-wise compatible with her... but if you are, you’ll get molested. What is wrong with you, Nina????

Yes, Frances is saying: “you are a man, and yet your fringe is so long”. So on the most surface level, it is a woman saying this to a man because he is a man. As we later get to know Frances a bit better though, she would be harsh to anybody who looks slovenly. She just has different hairstyles which she considers appropriate for men and women respectively. Had Sebas been a woman and his hair was the ‘feminine equivalent of slovenly’, Frances would most likely have acted exactly the same. So in this sense, unlike with the jokes using Nina and Lizzie, it is not purely: “Haha, girl bullies boii, lol.”

Something else that is terrible is that what Nina does seems to be systemic. Logically it checks out too; it can’t be that only since the past few weeks she’s decided only women and young boys deserve her kind treatment. For all we know, Nina’s been treating the male Phantomhive staff like this for 2-3 years. Sebastian’s comment about Nina thoroughly ignoring men again with “as always” further supports this theory.

With Frances in contrast, in chapter 14 (so barely a year ago in story time), Sebas seemed to have no clue whatsoever about Frances’ terrors. Sebas announced Frances’ arrival to his master and is very calm about it. It was not until O!Ciel alerted Sebas about his aunt that anybody even guessed what hurricane was headed for them. As such, we can safely conclude that Sebas had only been subjected to Frances’ criticism a couple of times, unlike having had to bear with Nina for years.

Yes, Frances still should have communicated, but I already addressed the details above. Still, the point remains that even though Frances is overstepping boundaries and abusing her power, her criticisms are at least not empty.

Lizzie

Lizzie too just like Nina, had zero grounds for showing that much aggression. She did not give anybody the benefit of the doubt, did not communicate, or even so much as give O!Ciel any chance to explain the situation. So far O!Ciel has given Lizzie no reason to think he’d cheat on her, and yet she hurled so much aggression at him Sebas had to intervene.

Still, Lizzie is marginally better than Nina because she is not systemically bullying O!Ciel. It is a one time event. However, this one makes me more annoyed with Yana because it means that even Yana had to use this stale, stale trope of “LOVE TRIANGLE COMEDYYYY”. Have I ever mentioned how MUCH I hate love triangles and jealousy???

Conclusion

Feeling wise, the most important reason for why Sebas being bullied by Frances is funny is probably because of who Sebas is. Sebas is otherwise an all-powerful demon, but to see him inventing colours to shit at Frances - a human Sebas could crush between his fingertips like a cookie - is just hilarious. Had Sebas been a human though, I would not have laughed so hard personally.

Rationally however, Frances is doing power play against a servant who cannot talk back, so it is still bullying, and bullying is inexcusable.The only bit of “right” Frances has is that she does not seem to be systemically bullying Sebastian, and that her criticisms have some ground.

So if Nina and Lizzie’s behaviours played for jokes are like... a -7 and -9 respectively, Frances’ at least scores a -2 for me?

(Yes, as we’re talking about bullying anyway, I just have to make a jab at Vincent.)

Afterword

Something not really related to why “Frances:Bad”, “Nina-Lizzie:Worse”, but I do wish to mention is Yana’s improved drawing skills. I have no proof, but I think it MIGHT have been where this Frances-joke originated.

Yana’s time in the more traditional mindset of manga-worldview really showed, especially at the far beginning. Besides, she was still in the process of finding a way to draw handsome men. In the more traditional mindset of the early 2000s, handsome men were just not supposed to have slicked back hair - “that was reserved for old men and nasty dudes!!” Yana’s discomfort with drawing handsome men with slicked back hair was clearly visible in Sebastian’s early appearances, and making the ‘”hair, back!!! says old-fashioned lady” was potentially even a way of Yana to laugh at herself.

I don’t know who else is old like me and grew up with 80s to early 00s manga, but at the time, hair for handsome men was a BIG deal. In that world ‘slicked back hair’ just carried a certain laughability about it; a “rule of not-cool”. To me at least at the time this ‘laughability’ really resonated with me, and Yana probably also trusted this same ‘unspoken rule’ to resonate with her audiences.

Much later though, Yana clearly grew more comfortable and maybe even fond of slicked back hairstyles as she confidently chose to portray Sebas as ‘appealing’ while wearing his hair in the style Yana previously disliked.

Again, I have no proof, but I can’t help but think that if Kuro had started 10 years later, the running gag revolving Frances might look altogether different.

What do you guys think? ^^ Cheers, and stay healthy!

Character analysis Nina Hopkins

Character analysis Vincent Phantomhive

Sexism against men and Kuro’s sexist jokes

MASTERPOST Gender in Kuroshitsuji

MASTERPOST Analyses & Info

#Kuroshitsuji #Frances #Midford #Sebastian Michaelis #hair #joke #funny #tw bullying mention #Lizzie #Nina Hopkins

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tallstars-rewrite · 3 years

Text

About (2.0)

After 3,000 years, we begin. Helloo my name is Yarrow, welcome to my side blog where I talk about my ideas and sometimes art for my personal rewrite of the Warrior Cats super edition “Tallstar’s Revenge”~

Click here for the (now complete!) story here on this blog!! (feel free to send an ask for any tags i may have missed) As well as a link to where it’s posted on Ao3

My Personal blog for warrior cats and other xenofiction posting: Yarrowleef

Search the ��my art” tag for all the character art I did over the years (most of it is quite old now)

and now a somewhat lengthy preface:

in 2017 I read Tallstar’s Revenge and was very frustrated by it. So I decided to try out rewriting a warriors book to see if I could make something closer to what I wanted to see. I also did it because I really wanted to finish something, and it seemed like an easy starting point. Then I quickly realized I had no idea how to actually write a story because I usually never get past the “daydreaming and maybe sometimes writing disconnected scenes and concepts” phase, so that was quite a hurdle to overcome.

This fic has been a bit of a rickety lifeboat for me over the past 4 years. Sometimes it even became sort of a vent for my lingering high school angst. I began this project at the same time I graduated high school and was about to start college (a bad idea) and I hit several major periods of burn-out. Honestly, I think I was feeling burned out through at least 75-80% of it. But I needed to focus on something for the same reason I needed to drag myself out of bed every morning, even if I usually didn’t really want to.

Now I think it’s as finished as it’s ever going to be. I’m not going to lie, my confidence in its quality has been. let’s say Shaky At Best. Taking so long means that some parts are already outdated before they’ve even been posted. Also, several bits (including prose and world building) were not even fully edited to completion. There’s at least one or two chapters that are more summary then full writing, but I don’t think it’s bad enough anywhere to be incomprehensible? soo we’re just gonna roll with it.

My mixed feelings about it aside, the only reason I can have those mixed feelings is because I wrote it in the first place, and thus got better (at least a little). I wouldn’t be where I am now if I hadn’t, so no matter what I am very glad that I managed to make myself finish it!! And there are at least some parts I still genuinely like. In the end, this was always intended to just be a practice story using someone else's outline, so I am simply going to dump this content on the floor as it is and it is up to you to sift through it. I’m ready to let go of this rickety clumsy life boat, so now I am pushing it out to sea.

In Conclusion: Ultimately, is this story truly an “”improvement”” over canon? Who knows! Seriously, I simply cannot tell. I’ve been staring at it too long. “Improvement” is a very heavy and presumptuous word for someone like me anyway. I slowly chipped away at 200,000 words on my own for 4 years with no beta readers to talk it over with (none of my friends rly know what warrior cats is and I'm too embarrassed to show them, so I'm alone in here with my box of angsty cats). My brain is mush and the lines have blurred together. I have no earthly idea what this is going to look like to fresh eyes. In addition to that, many little things were tweaked just because I felt like it and not necessarily because I thought they were “objectively” better. That being said, some characters have been given completely new traits unrelated to who they were in canon to suit the story I wanted to tell, and how a character is portrayed here does not necessarily reflect my opinion/head-canon of their canon counterpart.

Although my faith in this rewrites execution is iffy and the creation process was a hot mess, I can certainly say I still put a lot of thought and effort (and sometimes tears) into it, and in the end I hope that will count for something. Thank you for reading!

#edit: how did i never mention my art tag asdfghg #TRabout #pinned #will add more links and directory when they are finished #definitely still super nervous about all this but im not even sure why #tbh just didnt expect this blog to get as many followers as it did #but even though the urge to list off all my *specific* gripes with it is so stronggg #i will physically hold myself back from defensively insulting my own writing #in a ‘if i say it first no one else can say it and no one can think im stupid if i KNOW about all the flaws’ kind of way #it is a very bad habit #mostly because it brings attention to the flaws that people ordinarily might not have even noticed if I hadn't pointed them out #thus making the experience worse and retroactively inviting people to be even more critical--#--and not trust ANY of the choices I made to be intentional #but honestly it is a little funny that since ive been alone with this dang rewrite so long #and since i’ve been staring at and tweaking and rewriting this on and off for years i genuinely Can Not Tell how good it is #i dont know how to judge any of it objectivley anymore #for all i know maybe it is good!#or maybe its a mess that didn't change enough from the source material #or that just created NEW problems in an attempt to remove certain canon problems #or maybe its just fine--simply unremarkably middling which i think would be an ok outcome for a first fic?#i sincerely couldnt tell you so we get to find out together #but what I CAN say is that everything that happens I felt happened for a reason #to set something up or illustrate some point #there is no pointless filler from my perspective #there was intention in pretty much everything #heres hoping it will come across that way!

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dessarious · 4 years

Text

What Makes a Family? Pt2

AO3 Beginning Next

Alfred waited until everyone was out of the kitchen before pulling a burner phone out of his pocket. All that was on it was one text; we need to talk.

Master Bruce had always been paranoid, but this specific phone had never been used. The man insisted on a way to contact Alfred that none of his family knew about, but he'd never found it necessary before. Whatever had prompted that text had to be serious. When he got to the man's study, he didn't even knock before entering.

"Lock the door please." His voice was strained and Alfred began to wonder if he'd somehow missed signs of illness or even just more stress than normal. After the door was secure Bruce handed him a piece of paper. "You remember how after Damian showed up, I started monitoring DNA databases to try to avoid more surprises?"

Alfred just nodded as he read down through the paper. His shock at the content was well hidden since he didn't want to add even more stress to the situation. For some reason all the Wayne's seemed to think the world was ending if something happened he wasn't prepared for.

"This is certainly strange. Have you looked into the girl at all?" Strange didn't even cover it. With that genetic makeup they could easily be looking at another Damian and most of the house barely survived the first one.

"It’s rather hard to do an intensive search without Tim or Barbara finding out. All I really know is that she's seventeen and a student in Paris. Alfred what should I do?" Bruce sounded like he was on the verge of panic. Only his kids had the ability to do that.

"Well, as you said, she is seventeen. It's possible she may not even want to get to know you, or the family. I think the prudent thing to do would be make contact and see what she's comfortable with."

"That makes sense, but how? Sending a lawyer seems too impersonal and aggressive but if I go myself won't that be pushy?" He started muttering to himself and Alfred just waited. Suddenly his eyes lit up. "You could go!"

"I bed your pardon?" Honestly he figured the man would settle on Master Richard given he was the least threatening. "If I leave while you're all still here, chances of someone blowing up the house are incredibly high. Not to mention the maiming that is likely to occur." Bruce thought for a moment and Alfred could see the moment he dismissed the objections.

"It won't be that bad and you're the perfect person to talk to her. As far as the public knows you've been with the family forever but aren't part of it. Not to mention you're most equipped to get a good read on her and see if we'll need to monitor her actions." Alfred wanted to argue with him. Unfortunately he was right. About him being the best person to send not about how they would fare in his absence.

"There will be conditions." He watched Bruce blink at him in confusion. "First, everyone will be told I'm going on a long overdue vacation. Second, they will all sign agreements to stay out of the kitchen entirely as well as agreeing to no weapons outside the Batcave. That includes fire." Bruce just nodded along like there wouldn't be an issue. Alfred could already hear the objections. "Third, you will abide by the girl's decision about contact and my decision about whether monitoring is required. No arguments." Bruce looked more hesitant at that one, but still nodded. "And fourth, no one tells Damian about her unless she decides she wants to have contact with the family. I don't trust him to not see her as a threat to his position, especially with her pedigree and the fact that she's older."

---------------------------------------------

As Ladybug watched Chat bound away, she was overcome with a feeling of time running out. She really hated her Guardian instincts at times like this. She knew something was going to happen but couldn’t pinpoint what or how severe it would be. Frustrating didn’t even begin to cover it.

“You look like you’re thinking deep thoughts Bug.” Wasp sauntered over and used her head to lean on. Chloe had hit a rather large growth spurt making her just over six foot tall. Ever since she tended to use Mari’s head as a resting place. It had annoyed her at first but given Chloe’s issues with affection she knew that physical contact of any kind was a compliment.

“I just can’t shake the feeling that none of this will end until there’s a true Black Cat holder. And I’m dreading what I’ll have to do once they show up.” Taking Adrien’s Miraculous would devastate him. As much as he annoyed her and as much as he was a liability she couldn’t bring herself to strip him of one of the few good things in his life. Not without it being necessary.

“You should do it when he turns eighteen regardless of whether you’ve found the true holder.” Ladybug looked at Wasp in surprise. “He’ll have to grow a pair and stand up to his father eventually. Once he turns eighteen his father can’t stop him from living the life he wants. He’s got plenty of money in his personal accounts and more than enough contacts to stay away from Gabriel. He needs to become his own person without this as a crutch. Otherwise he’ll just stay the same and never get out from under his father’s influence.” She hadn’t thought about it like that, but Wasp was right. Adrien hadn’t matured at all since she’d known him. He had no reason to. It still wasn’t something she was looking forward to.

“So how’s the new school?” Wasp wrinkled her nose in annoyance and Ladybug laughed. Her father had decided to throw her into a private school that specialized in getting their kids into the most prestigious universities. He was dead set on Chloe going to the best business school he could find. Chloe was less than thrilled.

“I called the principal a fascist neandertal and almost got expelled.” That didn’t sound like her.

“Almost? What went wrong?” Wasp sighed.

“Daddy called and threatened to stop any type of permits they needed for improvements or new construction and launch an investigation into their finances if they did. Having that kind of pull at my disposal was great before, but now he’s using it against me. Given how quickly they caved when he mentioned auditing their finances I don’t even think it’s possible to get thrown out now.”

“Did you tell him what you actually want to do?”

“He just laughed, like it was all a big joke.” Ladybug reached over and squeezed her hand.

“Chat’s not the only one turning eighteen soon. In the meantime, you can hide at my house more often. You know my parents love teaching you how to cook and bake.” That got a small smile at least.

“I appreciate that. I just wish…” Rather than finish the thought, she turned abruptly and headed out. Ladybug just let out a sigh. She couldn’t even imagine having parents so against what you wanted to do with your life. Granted, she wouldn’t have expected Chloe’s dream to be becoming a chef, but it was her dream and given her taste and attention to detail, she’d probably be fantastic at it. Neither one of her parents would even entertain the thought.

“Everything alright?” Viperion’s question brought her back to the present and she nodded.

“Same as always. Let’s go home.” Home was always her house. Kagami’s mother made her home untenable for them and Luka was reluctant to be open with their relationship around his sister while she was still friends with Lila. He didn’t want to make things harder on them. As she led her partners through the now quiet streets of Paris, she got a new feeling. Something big was coming. Good or bad, she had absolutely no clue.

AO3 Beginning Next

Ko-Fi

Tag List

@moonystars14 @ladybug-182 @elmokingkong @smolplantmum @jessigurl-design @trippingovermyfeet @its-salty-bug

#maribat #bio dad bruce wayne #lukagaminette #marinette dupen chang

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suugiithings · 3 years

Text

KATSUKI BAKUGOU X YOU

The image isn't mine credits to the owner.

For some reason, I just write angst. 😅

I hope you like it. I really like Bakugou. I am still reading the manga and I am still in the 17th volume but I am loving his character development.

We can't forget that underneath all of that image of a bad/angry boy is still a teenager and geez we all can agree that teenage days are the worst.

Anyway, I am sorry for my writing skills and probably grammar mistakes but as I said in my work of Kirishima I don't usually write in English so I am trying my best and using dictionaries and even Grammarly to make sure everything is on point but sometimes some mistakes can get through it so I am apologizing beforehand and I will keep improving my English vocabulary to make my writing more interesting.

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: It is Bakugou so swearing is obviously here.

You stopped abruptly as you heard a loud and painful hiss. Your whole body completely froze while watching the state of that blonde guy. The rain wetting all his figure, his hair was even more messy than usual, his hands were sparking a little from his frustration.

I knew it. You told yourself as shutting your e/c eyes aggressively because of the huge pain felt as seeing him in such condition. You knew that he was suffering like you were because even if he didn't tell Kirishima what he meant to him we all knew that Kirishima was someone really important to Bakugou. Thankfully you had enough empathy to realize that seeing Kirishima unconscious on a hospital bed was an overwhelming pain for him as well.

Finally, you got the strength and courage to open your dark blue umbrella and took small and slow steps towards him. Fortunately, he didn't notice your presence as he was drowning in his feelings. Feelings. Something and probably the only thing Bakugou was terrible with. Normally he only ignored them and pushed them deep down in his soul letting them there alone getting bigger and bigger every day. And then one day those neglected pieces of human nature just exploded doing a huge mess. You already had witnessed that happening once and it wasn't something pleasant to see. It made your heart shatter in a million pieces because he went in a total auto-destructive mode and you being in love with him made you feel helpless and lost in the middle of your and his pain.

At last, when you were just mere centimetres from him, your umbrella was already above his head and his hood was pushed to cover not just his head but especially his face. His whole body hardened and you took this opportunity to wrap your free hand around his body while laying your head against his wet clothed back.

" I'm sorry for this random affection but I don't know what to do with this pain. I... I...My heart and soul are in suffering now so please just let me be like this for just a couple of minutes." he didn't say anything but you realize how heavy was his breath. A deep breath came from you while you squished him more trying to let your feelings be silently handed on to your lover. You would never be able to express your feelings so you just wanted him feel them.

"I'm sorry." a heavy and sad whisper came from the blonde as his muscles started to smooth under your touch. "It was my fault." your small hand rubbed the side of his body where your hand was calmly but firmly laying. The reality was you didn't know what really happened you just found Kirishima body laying on Bakugou arms in the middle of the battlefield where a group of villains attacked. Bakugou was frozen by his panic and disbelief the whole time since you found out them until arriving in the hospital.

"Shh...It isn't anybody's fault except those fucking villains." His body hardened again and heat rises from him. Shit. You should have just stayed quiet. He tried to let go of your grip and when he did he looked directly at you. And if it was possible your heartbreak to even smaller pieces. His face was consumed by the pain, sadness and especially the well-known rage. His eyes and face were swollen and red not just because of him being crying but also because of the fight they had against those villains. Small cuts here and there in his body. You tried to reach him but he dodged your touch.

" It was my fault. I was weak and he threw himself in front of me stupidly. I was the one who couldn't protect another human being and lost the fight. It is my fault. So just shut the fuck up with your pity I don't need it for anything. Especially when you were fucking late to help Kirishima. It is also your fault. You are useless. " If you didn't know him you would definitely just turn on your heels and leave but it was Katsuki we were talking about. He was shouting those things not really because he meant but because he was using your name instead of his while in reality, it was just a way to talk his feelings out and to curse at himself and not you. " So don't touch me. Don't try to seek relief because you don't deserve it. You need to drown in those feelings."

Your umbrella fell on the road and your hells rose to let your lips touch his. It was unexpected by both of you. You didn't think this through, it was just a reflection of your inability to comfort Katsuki. However, what shock you the most was his strong arms unexpectly wrapped your waist tightly pulling you so closer to him that both bodys almost fused in to each other and then his lips started a rough and intense kiss. All feelings getting involved at this moment. You could taste the bitterness of failure, the sourness of sadness and deep down a really shy sweetness of the untold love.

You both were already gasping for air but none of you wanted to let go. Your lungs were burning, your hearts racing and your legs trembling.

However very abruptly everything stopped including the feeling of his touch on your now wet body from the rain.

" What the fuck was that for?" the blonde screamed very loud when he came into his senses. His eyes were confused and full of anger. You stood in your place unshakable, you were already prepared for this.

" Nothing, Katsuki. It was nothing." you sighed in annoyance." What the hell do you think it is? I am tired of this." You screamed back at him and he was shocked. Yes, you had already had some fights but for silly things especially because you loved to make fun of him and tease him but never for serious topics and never with this look on your face." I think this kiss made pretty clear what's going on between us. I am fucking tired of watching you suffer in silence. I hate that so much. My heart breaks every time you self-isolate yourself. Maybe I am being egotistic but I just want you to be happy, goddammit. " His gaze was burning your skin of how intense it was. For the first time, you didn't know what he was feeling. Yes, because even though he puts his mask of an angry and though guy, he was actually a pretty simple person underneath that. He was just trying his best to improve himself and raise at the top and someone who lack a lot on self love.

" I didn't ask for anything. And there is no us here. I don't love you. Love is just stupid and a waste of time." he muttered finally taking his gaze away from you. "I don't want to love you while I don't love myself."

" Shh... I don't need to be corresponded I just want you to let me help you." You wrapped your arms again around him squishing him so hard as you could. " Just enjoy my company and let me be your walking diary. Allow me to hear your rants and fears."

#bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha #mha #mha bakugou #katsuki bakugo #bakugou angst #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou x you #Bakugou angst #Angst

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