adhd-peterparker
adhd-peterparker
Spider-Man Incorrect Quotes
Spider-Man has ADHD. Why? Because I said so. 馃暦 Pro Trans!Peter and Bi!Peter 馃暦 13+ account 馃暦 Uncensored swearing (Posts will be tagged as #swearing)馃暦
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adhd-peterparker2 days ago
馃尰send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going (no pressure)馃尰
ASDFGHJKL I CANT BELIEVE I GOT SENT THIS BY ONE OF MY FAVORITE BLOGS
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adhd-peterparker8 days ago
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Tony: What鈥檚 up guys? I鈥檓 back.
Peter: What the- you can鈥檛 be here. You鈥檙e dead. I literally saw you die.
Tony: Death is a social construct.
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adhd-peterparker23 days ago
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Tony: What are your goals?
Peter: To pet all the dogs.
Tony: No, fitness goals.
Peter: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.
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adhd-peterparker28 days ago
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Ned: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, MJ?
MJ: No.
Peter: I do!
Ned: I know, Peter.
Peter: I鈥檓 sad!
Ned: I know, Peter.
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adhd-peterparkera month ago
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Ned, tending to Peter鈥檚 wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Peter: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
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adhd-peterparkera month ago
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Store Worker: Would a Ms. Michelle Jones please come to the front desk?
MJ, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: *points to Ned and Peter*
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Ned and Peter, simultaneously: We got lost :(
MJ: I didn鈥檛 even bring you guys here with me-
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adhd-peterparkera month ago
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Peter: MJ and I don鈥檛 use pet names.
Ned: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Peter: Honey?
MJ: Yes, dear?
Peter:
Ned: Don't ever lie to my face again.
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adhd-peterparkera month ago
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Peter: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
MJ: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Shuri: I personally was created in a lab.
Ned: I just straight up spawned.
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adhd-peterparkera month ago
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Peter: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
MJ: You鈥檙e a hazard to society
Ned: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
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adhd-peterparkera month ago
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Peter: Hey Shuri can I get a sip of your water?
Shuri: It's not water.
Peter: Vodka, I like your style!
Shuri: It's vinegar.
Peter: Wh-Wha-
Shuri: It's vinegar, COWARD.
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adhd-peterparker2 months ago
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Ned: Mr. Stark! What would you do if you had a broken rib?
Tony: You broke a rib?
Ned: Does it look like I broke a rib? Of course I didn鈥檛.
Tony: Oh thank god.
Ned: Peter did.
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adhd-peterparker2 months ago
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Peter: I can鈥檛 believe you live nearby, and you won鈥檛 let anyone crash at your place.
Bucky: You people already know too much about me.
Sam: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won鈥檛 let any of us crash at your place.
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adhd-peterparker2 months ago
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Peter: Ned, can I talk to you for a second?
Ned: Yeah, what鈥檚 up? Lemme guess. You and MJ are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Peter: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I鈥檝e read books.
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adhd-peterparker2 months ago
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Bucky: Sam, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Sam: I don鈥檛 know, love you, talk to you later
Bucky: Ok, I love you too, I鈥檒l just ask Peter.
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adhd-peterparker2 months ago
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Bucky: How could you just take an old man鈥檚 money?
Sam: It鈥檚 easy, like stealing candy from a baby
Peter: Wait, is that where all my Reece鈥檚 cups went?
Sam: We need to get through this locked door. Bucky, give me your credit card.
Bucky: Here.
Sam, pocketing it: Thanks. Peter, kick down the door.
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adhd-peterparker2 months ago
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Peter: If you had to choose between Bucky and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Sam: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Bucky: Sam!
Peter: 63 cents.
Sam: I'll take the money.
Bucky: SAM!!!
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adhd-peterparker2 months ago
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Peter: That鈥檚 one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...
MJ: You would eat yourself?
Peter: I wouldn鈥檛 even question it.
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