aroacechillzone

[aroacechillzone]

Happy Lesbian Visibility Week to ALL Lesbians!

❤️🧡🤍💗🩷

Lesbian Visibility Week includes:

Agender lesbians (me!) 🖤🩶🤍💚🤍🩶🖤

Asexual lesbians (also me!) 🖤🩶🤍💜

Trans lesbians 🩵💗🤍💗🩵

Aromantic lesbians 💚🤍🩶🖤

Nonbinary lesbians 💛🤍💜🖤

Genderfluid lesbians 🩷🤍💜🖤💙

Intersex lesbians 💛💛💜💛💛

Genderqueer lesbians 💜🤍💚

POC lesbians 🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Aroace lesbians 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

Butch lesbians ❤️🧡🤍💛🤎

Femme lesbians 💜💜🤍💗🩷

and many, many more!

#lesbian #yay me! #(aroace lesbian) #also bi lesbians woo

[aroacechillzone]

This lesbian visibility week, I'd like to take a step back and bring to light one of the issues the lesbian community has. Specifically, those with gender binaries.

And yes, I do mean multiple. We all know and hate the man/woman binary, but in its wake many different gender binaries have risen out of the queer community.

The gender binary I'd like to talk about is nonman/man.

(I'd like to preface this by saying if you like this definition for yourself, that's fine! I'm talking about a certain kind of lesbian that pushes this definition onto everyone around them.)

I was there on TikTok when this definition rose to popularity, and even then I was uncomfortable with it. This obsession with men, or lack-there-of, went a bit too far when they tried to make it the central definition of lesbianism.

However, as I'd soon learn, the lesbian community is only as obsessed with men as they are because TERFs infiltrated us back in the 80s/90s. Cishet TERFs came in, saying that lesbianism was the only moral orientation for a woman to have, and worked to exclude anyone they deemed too "manly" out of lesbianism. This included all transgender and non-binary people, people of color (because they were "fighting for men's rights), bisexuals, and butches. This was known as lesbian seperatism.

The lesbian community is still healing from lesbian seperatism, and there's still people who participate in what I call "modern lesbian seperatism". Excluding butch lesbians who feel a connection to manhood (lesboys/butchboys), excluding lesbians whose orientation is as multiple and complex as their gender (bisexual lesbians), it can be a dangerous thing just trying to live online as a gender-complex lesbian.

So, as a request this week of lesbian visibility, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider multigender people more in your lesbianism. There are women who are men who are women. There are butches who are men. There are lesbians who're bisexual, and yes that's often an expression of gender-complexity. Take the time to talk to us, hear what we have to say; you'll probably learn more about your history. :)

#lesbian #YEAHHHHH #PREACH

[aroacechillzone]

i made some evil aromantic flags

#aro #aromantic #aro memes

[aroacechillzone]

as someone in the aro community (and i think this is also applicable to the ace community, which is why y’all are included), i think there is something to be said about people trying to find a moral explanation to their repulsion. in a some situations, it is helpful and there is a conversation to be had about it but in a lot of others, it’s just recycled purity culture, i’m going to be honest.

before you send a post about how you think it’s actually exhibitionist to kiss in public, or predatory to talk about people you want to sexually pursue with your friends, please ask yourself first if there is genuinely something wrong morally going on there, or if it’s just something that grosses you out. it’s completely okay if it’s something that grosses you out. you don’t need to make up a moral reason behind it. you can just say ‘it grosses me out’ and find a way to remove yourself from that situation, for exemple, by looking away, or asking your friends to not talk about those topics around you (if they refuse, that’s another problem entirely and you should get better friends).

it is as unhealthy for allo people to repress their romantic and/or sexual attraction than it is for us to repress our aromanticism and/or asexuality. this isn’t like an theoretical extrapolation, this is a proven phenomenon, we’ve seen it with the catholic church. i understand and empathize with the fact that it feels like all of this is forced upon us, because it is, but there is a difference between someone telling us ‘i like this’ and someone telling us ‘you’re weird/broken if you don’t like this’.

anyways, sorry for the rant, i keep seeing posts in the aro and/or ace tags that try to justify their repulsion with morality, and i don’t want to single out anyone so i thought i’d make this post. there is no issue with posting about repulsion itself, for the record, it’s the moral justification that i think is unhelpful.

you don’t need any justification for your repulsion, you can just be repulsed. that’s fine.

#aro #ace #aromantic #asexual

[aroacechillzone]

I am literally fucking BEGGING you all to also acknowledge the racism behind the terms "non-man" and "non-woman" and how they're used in queer definitions.

Black and Indigenous queer people have literally been talking about this since the definition was COINED but there's literally NO acknowledgement of this when pointing out why "non-men loving non-men" and "non-women loving non-women" are shitty fucking definitions to force on a whole community.

"Nonman" and "nonwoman" are terms that have been historically used to describe the degendering of black people in society. And words can obviously be used to mean different things- we don't have to stop using these terms altogether. But forcing these terms on a whole community of queer people is really fucking antiblack.

Not to mention that it blatantly degenders a lot of 2S lesbians and gays as well. It basically tells them that they can't be 2S and as a lesbian or gay at the same time, because then they would be "contradictory." I seriously hope I don't have to explain how racist it is to exclude a large portion of Two-Spirit people from your queer label because they don't fit into your neat little white gender binary.

Like these definitions aren't bad to use for yourself personally- but stop forcing them on all lesbians/gays. And if you're advocating for why these shouldn't be used as the most prominent definition, PLEASE acknowledge the racism aspect of it.

#lesbian #gay #yeah

[aroacechillzone]

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

#aro #aromantic

[aroacechillzone]

this is a way better model... you'll still get transphobic & intersexist drs of course but i prefer this to male / female or even having separate questions for gender & sex.

[we can't see the full form, but i'd suggest having a "something else" option and dominant hormone question too.]

#lgbtq+ #trans #to add to 3liza's point: and post-menopausal cis women!!! #but also #the medical community's treatment of pregnancy in general is ridiculous #like #i literally had to get one when i got an endoscopy once #even tho im 1. ace and 2. a virgin lol 💀 #like why cant u just take my word for it? #ok #like for literally everything else the doctor's job is to inform you of the risks so u know and u get to choose whether or not u accept #but for whatever reason they cant trust ppl to do that w pregnancy??? #and yeah i guess *technically* there is another life involved #but like the fetus or whatever isnt a separate person until its born #long rant related to one side comment anyways: very good. i agree

[aroacechillzone]

#aro #of course Lilith is winning #even tho her representation is purely word of god 🙄 #like come ON #haven’t watched koisenu futuri #but I voted for sakuko bc her being aro ACTUALLY AFFECTS THE STORY #smh

[aroacechillzone]

anyways tboys we are doing our secret handshake and I am not approaching you with a preconceived expectation of transmisogyny

#trans #SOLIDARITY!!!! #yippee

[aroacechillzone]

NO LITTLE DYKE GIRL DONT SAY MEN DNI YOURE PERPETUATING RADFEM/TERF IDEALS OF WHAT A ''REAL'' LESBO IS LIKE!!! NO LITTLE DYKE GIRL YOURE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA!!!!!! NO LITTLE DYKE GIRL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#lgbtq #lesbian

[aroacechillzone]

RESPECT FOR AROMANTICS NOW! NO MORE ASKING NICELY

#aromantic #aro #no more mr nice aro

[aroacechillzone]

guys, transmascs talking about their own issues =/= silencing transfems. it's not a zero sum game. grow up.

#trans #seriously #thats all 'transandrophobia' is #its not mens rights bullshit or anything like that

[aroacechillzone]

"If I ever met an mspec lesbian in public I'd punch them in the face" wow so you'd commit a hate crime against an lgbt person because of their identity? Because you don't understand your identity, that's uh, cool I guess, no no it's fine it's, idk, I feel like I've heard that sentiment before, yknow, of assaulting people bc of their queer identity, but it's probably nothing, it's fine

#lgbtq+ #lesbian #mspec lesbian #bi lesbian

[aroacechillzone]

You guys really need to stop saying "transmisogyny" when you really mean "transphobia." Trans women aren't the only trans people who experience oppression. TERFs don't *only* target trans women. There's a reason a TERF wrote a whole ass book about how trans men are indoctrinating little girls into their cult.

#trans #transgender #idk #saw this post i agreed w #but it specifically defined terfs as ppl who dont believe trans women are women #like hello??? #they dont believe ANY trans person is the gender they say they are #making it just about trans women is simply incorrect #dont even get me started on the ppl who say 'twerf' instead of 'terf' #(twerf = trans WOMAN exclusionary radical feminist)

[aroacechillzone]

happy birthday all asexuals

#asexual #ace

[aroacechillzone]

You know with more people finally somewhat paying attention to the murder/assault of trans men/boys on this website I hope these types of posts stop being made and that people realize how fucking weird they are.

#trans #transgender #yeah it is a PROBLEM

[aroacechillzone]

after this website decided to attempt to ban porn and ns fw content, it's honestly become a nightmare to navigate as an asexual person w/ sexual trauma. because next to no one uses the mature filter, or tags things as ns fw or even ns ft for fear of having their content or blogs taken down, it means that tumblr has returned to the wild west of random porn flooding your dashboard with next to nothing you can do about attempting to filter it out again

it's not great for a lot of people in general, even outside of asexuality; people with jobs who browse tumblr in their down time, people who have or work with kids, people who spend a lot of time in public, people who are often at religious establishments or events, children and teenagers- there are load of children who lie about their birth date in order to sign up for just about any website ever, the amount of minors are on here is staggering. this is not good many people in general.

as an asexual person with a long history of sexual trauma, i struggle to navigate my dashboard or even certain tags right now. even the act of tagging certain posts will have tumblr suggest 'related' tags that are nsf w even if you are tagging things something simple like "ftm" or "enby" or "butch lesbian". it's great that other people are flourishing and embracing their sexuality, but it comes at the cost of making this website very difficult to browse for asexual people and people with sexual trauma

my heart goes out to the rest of you who are absolutely exhausted and triggered by this. again it's wonderful for the people who enjoy it, but because of how strict the tagging and filtering systems are on this website and how easy it is to get your entire blog deleted just by having a single thing flagged as mature, this website has gotten significantly worse at actually filtering the content they set out to remove in the first place.

#lgbtq+ #tumblr #y e ah #ive noticed this searching through like #butch and lesbian tags #theres a LOT of nsfw stuff #and like #good for you! #do whatever u want! #i just wish there was a way for me to like #filter it out #bc im not looking for that stuff #and it makes me uncomfortable #but alas 😔