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Look. I’m just saying it would be pretty funny if in 7 years Alby Rollins just rolls up to Ketterdam one day like “Hi, I’m here to engage in teenage rebellion and rumor has it my da thinks you suck so I want to join the Dregs.”

And poor Kaz just has to be like “I once threatened your life???”

And Alby just remains adamant because, “yes, and I thank you for that. It makes my job of pissing my father off so much easier. You were an obvious choice. I wouldn’t have traveled all the way from the Wandering Isle if I thought this wouldn’t work.”

Meanwhile…

Kaz: I don’t want another Wylan on my hands.

Wylan: Excuse me? I didn’t just join your gang to upset my father. He literally tried to kill me. Pekka loves his kid. We are not the same.

Kaz: Technicalities aside, I have another rich brat with daddy issues on my hands.

Wylan: attempted murder would be a technicality with you.

Jesper: I can talk to the kid and try to get him to go back home.

Kaz: Right. Your daddy issues are more relevant here. That could work.

Jesper: I keep thinking you might outgrow this audacity but alas. You just keep saying shit to me.

Wylan: out of curiosity, why haven’t you killed him? Not saying you should - just wondering.

Kaz: I don’t know. I just got used to him after all these years, I suppose.

Wylan: ……Alby, Kaz. Not Jesper.

Jesper: I’m telling Alby that you used to unironically tell people that Ketterdam birthed you in a harbor when you were his age.

Kaz: No, you’re not.

*one week later*

Alby: my mother is the Barrel and my father is kruge.

Kaz: Your mother is my foot in your ass and your father is a bitch. Get out of my office.

#six of crows #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #wylan van eck #pekka rollins #alby rollins

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It’s been a minute but I just want to pop in and say that Genya’s screams for David as she gets lowered to safety still live in my mind rent free.

And to think that Genya screaming for him was probably the last thing David ever heard.

#shadow and bone #genya safin #david kostyk #genya kostyk #I think about them all the time #they deserved better #daisy performance this season was so incredible #she really decided we all needed the utmost trauma #and she was right

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To me, Kaz’s form of retirement is chilling on the Wraith with Inej and ripping out an eye whenever she asks 🤷‍♀️

"kaz would retire back to the farm" this, "kaz would never live long enough to retire" that. like that man wouldn't open a bingo hall and continue to scam grandmas in his old age

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i dont like the pinkification of nina zenik just because show!kaz now has red. nina had red first, kaz can have pink if he wants, that's how it works ok

#Nina would be pissed to know Kaz Brekker got her color lmao #Kaz would only wear red to spite her

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A Rabbit Hole of Thoughts

Me: who is Inej’s brother

Me: ah his name is Harij

Me: perhaps he’s a grisha in Ice Court?

Me: Ooh. maybe he knows Kuwei.

Me: Oh! Maybe Harij was almost dosed with parem but Kuwei is his friend and finds a way to protect him.

Me: I wonder if the dynamics of that love triangle is going to change since Wesper is in an established relationship already. Maybe Harij will- wait.

Me: MAYHAPS KUWEI GETS A BOYFRIEND AFTER ALL?!!?

#six of crows #brain rot #i don't even care lol #I already ship it #I’ve already created a whole romance in my head for them #shadow and bone #harij ghafa #kuwei yul bo

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Finally, we got to the last round

A clap for the bronze medal 🥉

And the two finalists

Us 🤝 the soc spinoff: making Wesper fight

No ties allowed this time, if they tie my vote will be annulled and the winner would be whoever i didn’t vote

#this is hard because they would vote for each other #how can I possibly choose?

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*Kicks Open Door* I have more S2 thoughts that nobody wants but alas, here I am.

Look. I know Matthias' plotline in s2 was difficult to pull off because of time/budget constraints, sure. But also. This post has no time/budget constraints, so here's how I wished it would have gone:

What if.... After Matthias’ cellmate died he got a new roommate (and more screentime for this plot). It is some guy from Shu Han who can’t speak Kerch or Fjerdan. Even though they can't communicate, they still become friends. This guy has some quirks, but whatever. Matthias vibes with him. In fact, this kid reminds Matthias a little bit of his sister in some ways.

BUT THEN. *Gasp* This guy is an inferni *cue flashbacks of Matthias’ village being burned and family killed*

Matthias goes to tell the guards they have a grisha in here and the boy shoves him against the wall and says in perfect Kerch:

“Please, I'm just trying to find my father.”

And Matthias hesitates. He thinks of Nina and her perfect Fjerdan, but he doesn't move and this boy explains his father was taken to Fjerda. HOWEVER there is a rumor that Pekka Rollins can break into Ice Court and so this boy literally got himself thrown into Hellgate to broker a deal.

This boy, who says his name is Kuwei, speaks to Rollins, who calmly says that this is all interesting but he’s stuck in Hellgate - and how much money is Kuwei willing to pay for his father anyway?

Kuwei explains he knows a merchant named Jan Van Eck who was willing to pay a lot of money to bring his father to Kerch. That was the man who brought him here to meet Rollins, who is, as they say, the best of the best. Except. Maybe Brekker is now - if you believe the rumors that he’s the reason Rollins is in here.

Matthias is ready to nope out of this overhears Rollins plotting away. You see, Rollins isn't sure he’s able to break into Ice Court right now....but. If he sells Kuwei out to Fjerdans he might get some handsome money to pay off the guards to escape. Then he can skip right down to Van Eck and take the job himself.

This doesn't seem like a feasible plan. How is Rollins going to contact Fjerda from Hellgate? Sure, he’s got the entire prison under his thumb, but there's no way he can have that much power-

Wrong. Enter: Dunyasha (yes, her again. She just fits in so nicely with all these potential plotlines!)

Dunyasha is currently being considered as a contender to the Ravkan throne by Fjerda since Nikolai pissed the Fjerdans off with his coronation. However, as we all know, the Fjerdans think she's a smidge unstable. She plans to win them over by bringing Kuwei to them.

Her and Rollins make a deal and Matthias now has to consider if he's going to warn Kuwei or not. He comes to conclusion he is and just as he goes to do so, Dunyasha is there to escort Kuwei out of Hellgate. Matthias tries to yell out and warn him, but Kuwei hesitates and says he shouldn't trust a druskelle anyways before disappearing. Matthias now has to live with the guilt of not helping Kuwei sooner.

Later, when Kaz comes to get him to join the Ice Court heist, he offers something else for Matthias' cooperation (because Nikolai can 100% issue another pardon, smh): Rescuing Kuwei.

BAM.

#six of crows #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bone #matthias helvar #kuwei yul bo #I WANT KUWEI PLEASE #grishaverse #soc #pekka rollins #dunyasha lazareva

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Everyone: she died in childbirth (makes sense, valid)

Me: She’s actually alive and will be one of the antagonists in SoC3 (mysterious, sexy, probably not going to happen)

i want to know what happened to kaz's mother

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just reminding you that it could be kuwei's birthday today and we wouldn't know

#why does this feel like something Kuwei would actually say #hey friends #it could be my birthday today #Jesper: is it? #Kuwei: it could be #Jesper: but….is it? #Kuwei: you’d never know if it was #Jesper: happy….maybe-birthday? #Kuwei to Wylan: he’s obsessed with me

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HIS NAME IS HARIJ!!!!

I'm actually thinking this is a viable theory after that deleted scene. Inej may want the heist money to get her own ship, sure (and she 100% should still get her own ship or else I'll throw hands), but it feels like she has a few different avenues for that now given she could just ask Alina for whatever she’d like.

So other than Kaz & co going on the heist she has no real motivation here. I'm thinking she found our Harij is in Ice Court and is joining in to get him back 🤷‍♀️

Kaz mentioned this brother again and I'm still so bewildered by his existence. Who is this man? Where is he? Why is only name dropped once a season?

....convinced this boy is a grisha in ice court and Inej will only find him on the heist.

#I am once again banging on the writers’ door #put me in coach

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AMITA SUMAN. KIT YOUNG. WHAT THE FUCK

#im hyperventilating #How could they delete this #unforgivable

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I spent way too long making this

#im laughing so much #please #im pretty sure leigh said there are no bananas in the geisha verse at the one point #so theoretically #if they discovered bananas #i would consider this canon

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Season 2 Hot Take:

Having Dunyasha be the person sent after Inej would have been wayyyyy better than that madman taxidermist dude. Please humor the following points:

It would have been fun to meet Dunyasha and establish that rivalry with Inej earlier so that we could meet her again in the potential spinoff. I always thought Dunyasha felt a little thrown in there and this would have been a super cool intro that would have easily folded her into the storyline later.

Nikolai was JUST crowned king and Fjerda is already pissed about it. Why not introduce the girl who they almost considered backing as next-in-line to the throne?

Taxidermist dude was very clearly there to be a gross, rapey sort of trigger but they didn't show Inej triggered that much? If they weren't ready to address her trauma then Dunyasha would have been a good alternative bc she had no sexual interest in Inej and Inej truly just made fun of her 80% of the time.

The next Crows plotline included them going to Shu Han and finding that sword. Dunyasha was trained there so she would have been a great lead for them.

Thank you for stopping by. That is all.

#six of crows #dunyasha lazareva #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone season 2 #shadown and bone spoilers #inej ghafa

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The funniest part of Wylan being revealed to have made those phosphorus bombs for Kaz is if they were already working together, then there is a real chance that Kaz already knew Jes and Wylan had slept together and literally just.....sat there in silence as Jesper made a fool of himself by not remembering.

Show me the deleted scene of Wylan awkwardly apologizing for being late to meeting with Kaz because he had met up with this gunslinger for, uh, business reasons.

And Kaz taking one look at him before going “I think it's time you met the rest of my crew” while internally being like ‘Jesper is somehow going to make an ass of himself and I can't wait to see it’

#six of crows #kaz brekker #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #wesper #shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone season 2

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Kaz mentioned this brother again and I'm still so bewildered by his existence. Who is this man? Where is he? Why is only name dropped once a season?

....convinced this boy is a grisha in ice court and Inej will only find him on the heist.

#six of crows #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #shadown and bone season 2 #shadow and bone spoilers

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Dead at Jesper’s “its as if I know you” and Kaz’s immediate reaction of:

#do I want a best friend who vexes me this much #or do I want to be the best friend who vexes someone this much #jes and inej are really stealing my heart this week tho #obsessed how jesper immediately snitched other heist to inej #I love them #jesper fahey #shadow and bone #six of crows #shadown and bone season 2 #kaz brekker

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Bonus: Tamar and Tolya entering like....

what are your thoughts on s&b season 2???

I’ve only seen episode one so far because I'm just that far behind 💔 but I'm gonna catch up this week. I've also made some memes on my first impression so enjoy those lol

#i love them