fatherfigureneeded
fatherless behavior, except it's actually fatherless lololol
doom n gloom ballad of an angsty teen boysave a drum, bang a drummer lmao
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my mother recently called me a 'mischief-er' which just sounds like something you'd find at a dollar general with terrible stock photos of a group of people (?) who vaguely resemble the marauders on the packaging
#that's the saddest thing i've ever been called i think#'mischief-er'? light fucking work#i want to be an entity of chaos not a 'mischief-er'#guess i'll have to work harder then#feel my wrath#back to the drawing board boys
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me going thru my drafts, trying to find something to post that doesn't make me sound TOO angry and gay
#i have to spread out my posts that have to do with hozier and homosexuality#the like#because if not#everyone will find out that i'm purely a 14 year old fruitcake looking for solace and pudding#and we can't have that#i have massive chunks in my drafts that are literally just things i thought abt while listening to hozier or punching my walls and pillows#dunno#kinda pissed#the masculine urge#to punch the fuck outta everything#kinda pissed all the time#hhhhh
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hozier really said 'imagine being loved by me' like he knew it would be the best thing to happen to anyone ever which is honestly real as fuck but i did imagine and now i expect compensation
#this is a joke#not to be taken seriously#celebrities are real people yaaallll#they deserve privacy yaaallll#that said#however#so do with that what you will#bog man#i become gradually more homosexual as the days pass#when does it end#talk#imagine being loved by me#if you insist sigh#rolls eyes
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typing this from the state testing room thing lmk if there’s anything silly i should put in my essay
#i brought a briefcase and dressed up#im wearing a tie and heart shaped sunglasses#this is my best outfit#also cat socks#cat socks
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being a child of divorce, people sometimes ask me if i believe in love which always reminds me of the time i collected petals from every flower i received and/or found for an entire year for a boy i had a homoerotic 'not platonic-not romantic-but a secret third thing' type friendship with after moving away in middle school and i think, yeah. yeah, i think i do believe in love.
#i was devoted in every sense of the word#doesn't help matters that he used to refer to me as his flower boy#when you're yoouuunggg and in looooveeee#i cant remember my chipotle order#god help me#i'm asking my best friend stand by#HE REMEMBERS OK WE ARE IN THE CLEAR#CHIPOTLE IS A GO#we're getting chipotle yall#yeah sex is cool but have u ever gotten chipotle#that friendship destroyed me btw#mentally#physically#emotionally#spritually#i was GUTTED#i miss vine#rip vine#believe in love#I know her quite well#child of divorce
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told my sister that she probably shouldn't say faggot (she's straight) and in response, she said "they hit the pentagon!" and i honestly just don't know what to do anymore
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i woke up in a cold sweat this morning after a nightmare where my dad murdered a guy in front of me and then told me to cover it up but i was 7 years old in the dream and didn't want to scrub brains off of the wall so i ran and my eighth grade english teacher called the police (i hate my eighth grade english teacher) so i, as a seven-year-old, hotwired a car (my eighth grade english teacher's car) and swerved that shit out of the chuck-e-cheese parking lot but it got me wondering if i could swerve that clean out a parking lot irl so if yall wanna see me swerve out of a chuck-e-cheese parking lot lmk
#woke up in a cold sweat#lmk#i'm serious#nightmare shit#my dad is an asshole#i hate my eighth grade English teacher#i'm not in eighth grade anymore btw#i feel like it's important to mention that#i just still hate him#he flirted with my sister too much and talked abt his wife making him sleep on the couch#my sister was 15 btw#he was a dick#still is i imagine#anyway if yall wanna see me do donuts outta a parking lot u lmk
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think abt how much car wreck rates would go down if everyone just army crawled to work
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i once had a nightmare where i was in jigsaw's basement and he told me to play simon says with him and right as he was saying 'simon says... do this', i shouted "Holy FUCK, you know simon, too???"
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just somehow got some silly little adults i pranked at school to send ME an apology email and i feel incredibly powerful
#a great accomplishment#i deserve an award#she insisted too#didn't ask her or anything#lololol#get prank'd
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thinking about sirius black secretly listening to the muggle radio in 1970 and hearing O-o-h Child and lying in bed later that night, singing to himself and holding back tears, thinking about things getting easier and despite his sorrow, hope sparks. he'll be off to hogwarts the very next year, after all.
thinking about a remus lupin somewhere in wales listening to his mother's muggle radio in the kitchen, chin resting in his hands and hearing the same song. he lies in bed later that night and thinks about things getting easier before deciding that this line of thinking is unrealistic. he won't even be able to go to hogwarts, after all.
#sorry for being depressing#i thought of this and couldn't ignore it i'm sorry#sometimes i just have thoughts that poke me in my mind noodles and don't leave me alone until i put it into words or make it real#imagine me in front of my computer or eating dinner with my family#and then#imagine it like the imperio curse#my vessel is only a puppet for my mind's most awful ideas#harry potter#remus lupin#sirius black#they're so sad#werewolves
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a cat just crawled up my window. that's it. that's the whole post. a cat just clawed his way up my window screen like he was in a rom-com, meowing furiously the entire time. i have nothing else to say, i just felt like i needed to tell someone.
#it's not SUPER impressive because i do live in a fairly small one-story house#but like#the dedication#he slithered all the way from eden to claw outside my window#:(#guys should i let him in#if anyone speaks meowish please translate#he was screaming quite loudly#like ur dad after a night with me#sorry#just thought it would be good to have some reference#just thoughts#cat#window cat#cat distribution system#what is this work of the cat distribution system#cat distribution system working overtime#he doesn't even pay rent here#i mean neither do i because i'm a minor and this isn't my house#BUT IT ISN'T HIS EITHER#he certainly seems to think so though#weighing my options#ugh i guess i'll add another to my collection#i am a father i guess#am i ready for that?#dunno#does it matter#he howlin outside my door n didn't even warn me not to feed him :(#unfair#ok sorry
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sometimes my parents will say some annoying shit like "stop treating me as your equal, i am above you" like this is a royal hierarchy or "i don't owe you an explanation"
but when IIII say i don't owe no one an explanation suddenly i'm being unreasonable and grounded for 3 weeks
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my mama always be talking bout some weird shit like
"when i die"
fym when u die bro?? ain't u supposed to be immortal or whatever??? fuck u prayin on yo own downfall for dude???????
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if i ever have to prepare for war or anything of the sort, i want blood upon the snow by hozier and bear mccreary to be playing. no other song is suitable.
#unfortunately this is a real possibility i must consider#this is america#so yknow#ww3#it's a real thing#or it could be#yipppeeee#hurdy gurdy#goes crazy
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my readers with pitchforks and flaming stakes, marching through the courtyard, demanding i stop teasing chapters and just fucking release them
me, shaking and sweating with my laptop i've had since i was 11 with it's backspace button that doesn't work at all anymore, 42% of the keys missing, the laggiest mousepad imaginable, and lack of efficiency, waiting several centuries for my 'new chapter' tab to load, whispering assurances to myself and the moldy machinery before me
#the esc button don't work either#my computer and me against the world guys#my laptop saw the nazis march into france#and saw washington sail the delaware#or the volume or brightness buttons </3#:( sigh
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just had a nightmare where i was having a conversation with my intrusive thoughts and i asked him how he knew all my fears and he replied with "because i follow them on facebook. now shut up, and watch this video of ur dad finding out that ur gay."
and i think that really sums up me in general
#he even called me a twink guys#but would a twink own THIS many pairs of shorts???#had a nightmare#woke up in a cold sweat#i woke up like this#i woke up thinking about this#anyway#how do i tag this#myspace#they're friends on myspace
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