his-name-is-charlie - Tumblr blog

his-name-is-charlie · 1 year

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Just heard from my doctor they're gonna have to put me down next week because I fucking suck

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his-name-is-charlie · 1 year

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being on my period makes me feel like a wounded forest animal trying to find a warm dark small place to die

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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Boy feels childish but at the same time, especially if you aren't on testosterone man feels like a lie. It feels unbelievable. Like how can I expect to be called a man when I can't grow facial hair or ... I don't know it is all stupid but yeah it definitely feels like you're still a teenager

Any other trans guys have trouble calling themselves a 'boy' or 'man'?

For me, 'boy' feels too childish and almost silly to say while 'man' feels strange and rough. I like calling myself a dude or a guy cuz that's what feels right :)

Anyone else feel similar?

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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That's the goal yeah. Except I was a "lesbian" fetishising mlm and I did a gay little uno reverse

#trans #transmasc #transgender #ftm #transmemes

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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Moving out of uni for the last time. And i actually graduated. Not officially started transitioning but I have diagnoses for my learning difficulties and a career plan ahead of me. I got into a postgraduate course and I'm excited but I cannot begin to explain how overwhelming this all feels. Did I think I'd get here? Honestly probably not.

And I'm leaving so much behind. My partner (wtf) my friends. So many people ill never see again

But at the same time there's so much to go home for and I'm so excited to see old friends and move back in with my parents (the highs and lows of it all)

I don't know I got overwhelmed with packing there's still so much to do so hehe tunglr.com

#transgender #change #university

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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I had a similar thought when this appeared on my screen

okay okay so my Stardew farm is named “Gay Farm” because why not, right? anyway I keep forgetting that I named it that. and sometimes I get dialogue where people refer to the farm and it always catches me off guard. but this one has to be the absolute funniest one I’ve ever fucking encountered

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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5 years. I ask myself what for. It doesn't even feel worth it. I wish I could go back to when I didn't feel like this. Before I knew what this was. But that was more like 7 years ago and I can't even recognise that person anymore. I wish the progress I've made meant something.

And gosh I wish I was happy. 5 years searching for a happiness I fear I'm never going to find. And 5 years for my mum to be able to look at me again. 5 years and I still can't tell my dad. 5 years and I'm still waiting. 5 years and the NHS won't even look at me. 5 years and I'm still waiting as long through going private. 5 years when everywhere I look people are taking one.

5 years and I'm graduating this fall. Studying for 5 years and even that's a lie. And I hate my course. And sometimes I wish i could start again. And sometimes I wish I wasn't around to try.

Everything feels like a mistake. Like I'm not truly moving forward. I'm stuck now. I can't go back I still haven't moved an inch forward. And I can't look at myself in photos. And it would be nice not to have a physical form.

I know this is my chance. To get out. Start my life, knowing this is what I need to do. Yet I'm still so scared of change. I've always been scared of change and this is one of the biggest changes I could possibly make. I'm moving forward. I can't move back.

But right now I'm so stuck. Stuck for 5 long years.

#dysphoria #tw suicide mention #personal rant #transgender #pre t ftm

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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If any terf has stumbled across my blog please leave. This is a trans blog, it is not a safe space for you. You are not welcome.

And if you're not a terf hi, please enjoy your stay.

YOU hates terfs

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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Remember Righties, Jesus used pronouns

how do people ignore the bible verse that implies jesus is trans

#ftm #trans #transgender #lgbtq #transmasc #transmemes

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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Its cold outside, take this

it's cold out there, reblog to give a trans man a cup of soump

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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I wish my mum could see me better.

See the amount I went through far too young, understand the hurt I was caused. Understand I was a carer and I was abused and that I've spent most of my life fight flight or freezing. How I can't cope when my life is normal just as much as when something traumatic is happening. Maybe she could see that I am barely keeping it together, that I'm still working out how to recover, that maybe I have some bad coping mechanisms but overall I am and have always been surviving. I dont want to just be surviving and I'm trying my hardest to be more than that but it's okay that I am right now. But even though an outside perspective might be that others had it worse I had it not okay enough. I deserve to rebuild myself. And it's okay that I am damaged. I don't blame her but I really wish she could see it

#tw family #tw abuse #cptsd #cptsd coping #young carer

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his-name-is-charlie · 2 years

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I'm so scared I'm never going to look back at myself through the mirror and go "oh look its me, finally I've been waiting for you"

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