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🙏🙏

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

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I love this so much. It got me thinking, what if it was very much like ‘a cat or dog’ person situation. Like it would either be like:

Dog humans

Alien (distressed): no! Human! Don’t eat that! It’s poison!

Human, while holding unblinking eye connect: (proceeds to eat it faster)

****

Alien: This is Brutus, he’s a little shit and we love him. There may not be much going on behind his eyes- yes he is the head mechanic- but we love him so very very much- no it’s not an issue, he’s very capable at doing his job, one of the best ever actually- and he also loves us very much (I think maybe because we give him food and attention) ❤️

Human - Brutus: They have really got pizza rolls ok…

****

Human: (pack bonds with alien crew and is very protective off them, they’re like family!) proceeds to act like a ‘guard dog’ when they have a ‘bad feeling’ about an unknown contact.

Dog human’s Alien: sorry we cannot continue with this deal.

New Alien: What?! Why?!

Dog human’s Alien: Our human doesn’t like you.

The new alien contact/possible business partner looks over their shoulder to see Brutus with a death glare aimed directly at them, stood in the corner in a defensive stance as they make a face of disgust as they make eye contact.

New Alien (looking back): Seriously?

Dog human’s Alien: Brutus says no 🤷‍♀️ sorry

*****

Where as Cat Humans are more like:

Human: (dragging in a suspicious bag, looking around like a culprit of a crime)

Alien: what’cha’ got there Claude?

Human (jumping up alarmed befor making hard eye contact. Slight fear of being caught in their eyes): a smoothie………. (A bright idea seams to spark as their eyes light up)

…foR YOU! (They say all excitedly)

Alien (approaching very un-smoothie shaped bag): o-oh… thAnk yOu… Claude…. (They slowly pull out a walkie-talkie [or something of the kind] (whispering) someone call the disposal unit-

*****

Human: have I ever told you just how much you and the crew mean to me? No? Well I have cupcakes for everyone to show it 😁

Aliens: *Gasp!* oh you shouldn’t have!! 🥰🥰🥰

*later that day*

Alien: hey Claude-

Human (doing something un-important that requires intense focus): why are you talking right now?

Alien: my bad I’m so sor-

Human: HUSH!

****

Alien: No I will not report Claude to HR you imbecile! I love him, go fu*k yourself Lindsey! -no I don’t care if you’re allergic to humans! He’s not leaving!!

Human (almost crying): They were gonna what?

Alien: it’s ok Claude, your not going anywhere

 ****

All in all I think that whether it’s dog humans or cat humans, they’re a hazard to society and the aliens can do nothing to stop them. I guess they figured if you can’t beat them, join them 🤷‍♀️…

Love that for them

❤️

I don't know why, but I like the idea of humans being to aliens, what cats are to humans...

Alien1: hey, when did you hire a human?

Alien 2: we didn't. They just wandered aboard one day, saying they wanted to "hitch a ride." Then they never left. I think they like it here.

Alien 1: the human distribution system has chosen.

***

Alien stares at the human, who has climbed up a very high shelving unit.

Alien: Human, get down before you hurt yourself.

The humans response is to climb higher.

***

Alien is secretly filming their human, who is spaced out and just staring at nothing.

Alien (whispering): I think the human is about to intercept the brain cell. (Laughter) don't worry human, if it tingles that means it's working.

#humans are space fae #cats #or #dogs #dogs of tumblr #humans are space raccoons #humans are space badgers #humans are space australians #space orcs #space faerie #space australia #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #puppy space

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genuinely friendly reminder to never EVER share someone’s location/information without their explicit permission. you do not know why that person is asking, what they plan to do with that information, or even if the asker has that person’s best interest in mind at all.

OP is also not exaggerating how common this is. my abusive parents successfully kidnapped me from work once because a coworker who didn’t know my situation told them when my next shift was. my parents didn’t even know where I lived at that point in time, which was very much on purpose. it took me days to get away again. ALWAYS tell the person that is being looked for that someone is looking. never share personal information or even how to get in contact them. you can take information in and pass it along, but you absolutely cannot give any out.

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Humans are space orcs, but humans are real fucking sneaky and don't tell anyone they're predators after realizing that other sentient species are all prey. It starts out as wanting to assimilate without any negative stigma, but eventually they realize that we're really alone as sentient predators.

So q human goes on a research ship and that ship gets stranded on a deathworld and everyone freaks put bc they don't know how to handle this but the human's just like 'build shelter, hunt food, start a fire' and they're all like 'hunt food???!!' And they human's like 'shit'.

So they see a human climb trees, throw shit, track prey and realize 'oh no, that thing could kill us' but the human's helping and they don't really have the man power to get rid of them.

And eventually they realize the whole pack bonding thing is stronger than the predatory instincts and are relieved

#nice #humans are space orcs

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So, something I learnt the other day. So, you know how dinosaurs supposedly can't see you if you stand still? Well that myth is based on real-life lizards/etc and how eyes in general work. So, once my dad starts infodumping, here comes some other cool information. We, humans, can in fact, also not see something unless it's moving. We fixed this by having our eyes constantly shake. And then our brain compensates for us, so we don't have to have shaky vision.

What if aliens don't have this? Like. What if they find out when one of us was looking at something in the distance, and they walk around this thing that's in front of them, and the alien is confused so they bob their head and oh, there's a thing there, but how did the human know that, and then we explain and they're like, horrified.

Humans are apex predators. They can hunt in packs. They can hunt in pairs. They can hunt on their own. They're persistance predators, which is unheard of. They get stronger when they're mad or scared. They have this thing called 'body language' which acts like a type of hivemind, even if they'll claim it isn't. And. They can see you. When you're not moving. They can still see you. If you ever find yourself in a fight against a human, for whatever reason? Run. Run as fast as you can. And hope, pray if you have a religion, that they won't follow.

#i just think they're neat #humans are space fae

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I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.

Both dream me and irl me were very confused.

#originally posted by:one-time-i-dreamt #dinos #dinosaur #that one vine: ​dinasawarrrr #raise your hand #if you are here #for the gay Dino’s #reblog

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“Scans show that the winds are blowing completely sideways at forces strong enough to force all vegetation to grow along the ground.”

The human shrugged and continued putting on their atmospheric suit.

“It’s cold enough that the water is entirely frozen, even when underground.”

“You’re not talking me out of this, so stop trying,” the human insisted.

“But, the debris alone will kill you! The wind will throw you around like your pet does the cloth toy! The frozen surface will make it so you cannot grip the surface!”

The human grabbed their helmet. “I appreciate you’re trying to keep me safe, but that planet might hold the greatest discovery humans have ever seen. I’m going.”

“You’ll never make it underground. The surface conditions-”

“Are no worse than Antarctica, and my great grandfather traversed that. Besides, I can’t expect you to understand.”

“It’s an underground ice cave. There’s nothing of importance!”

The human finished securing their suit. “There’s a patch of flowers by that underground lake, with a suspiciously human looking skeleton next to it. I’m going down there to figure out who’s there, why, and what happened. Now you can either help me or leave me alone.”

“Fine, but I want it known that if you die, I will NOT be retrieving your body.”

#i love this #humans are space fae #humans are space australians

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Most species resisted when introduced to the technological advances of the galaxy. Each wanted to believe their own way was better.

But not humans.

No, when they took to the galaxy, they adopted every technology offered. They absorbed it so quickly into their own that there was scarcely any time before they were using our tech as if they'd invented it themselves.

And they didn't stop there.

It was as if someone picked up an animal out of it's cage and set it on an open field to run wild. Their technology went from barely making it to space to surpassing everything we'd been trying to do. Any far off theory or study we were going to attempt, humans did as a warm up. Our dreams were their testing grounds.

The technology they gave us back was beyond anything we imagined would come from their species, from their world. But of everything they invented, it was all possible. We understood how it worked once they showed it to us. It made sense.

Until something didn't.

Humans made an engine core that was so powerful, so dangerously explosive, that it allowed a specific ship to achieve faster than light travel. It was impossible, and yet there it was.

Of course the ship itself had to be modified to sustain such speeds. The engine was powerful enough, yes, but any of our ships would rip themselves apart even trying. But humans created the ship too. They tried to explain how they broke the known laws of space, but it didn't make sense. It seemed they could barely explain it, like a youngling struggling to form a sentence.

And like a curious youngling, we didn't dare try to stop them. Such a young species, unhindered by reality, unbiased by our knowledge and history, and creative to a fault. We nurtured them the best we could, giving encouragement and standing out of the way as they accomplished the impossible.

#humans are space australians #humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans are weird #this is my spicy life juice #creativity #humans are space raccoons #human nature #humans being humans #investors

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Earth is space Australia but with russians

so, i saw this post the other day, saying something in the lines of sending the australians to inhabitate a warm, poisonous planet, so what if we turn it around?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Confederation recently found a *completely* death world. With freezing temperatures and very few flora and fauna, not even humans could possibly think to inhabitate it, right?

They sent a messenger with the report to the Human Counselor, they take the paper and stare at it for a while, mumble some incoherent sound, and sigh. They turn to their secretary and say, with a hint of a laughter in their voice:

"Send the russians"

#and the morell of the story is #humans are space fae #like damn #humans are deathworlders #death work #earth is a deathworld #humans are space orcs #humans are space raccoons #space orcs #space australia #humans are space badgers #Send the Russian’s

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👏✨look at our judgy queen. ✨👏

Caitriona Balfe as Claire Fraser in Outlander (TV Series, 2016). [x]

#Claire Fraser #TV Series #Caitriona Balfe #Outlander #1700's fashion #18th century

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Hot take:

Self love ? Super sexy

Taking care of yourself ? Sexylisous

Knowing you are enough ? Beautiful beyond comprehension

#self love #mental health #welbeing #sexy #sexsylisous #you are loved #love yourself #hot take

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You know what makes me really fucking happy?

Just humans being humans.

Like I’ll be walking down the street and I’ll see a little kid doing the lik toddler run with that lil belly laugh and there dad just walking behind them casually with a soft smile cos the kid isn’t really running that fast. Or that one girl in the caffe slurping her ramen noodles as the steel curls up and touched her face softly.

Or historical records of just. people being people. Like a drawing from 1732 of a chicken in pants. Or at historical sights and there’s names of thousands of people from thousands of years ago that says shit like “Dave was here - 1862” and I just.

Yes.

Or like. Someone just soaking up the afternoon as it hits there face. That old couple round the block who go on annual Tusday walks with there dogs, one in a stroller and the other in ones arms so neither dog gets a walk but they (both oldies and doggo’s) sure are having fun.

HUMANS BEING HUMANS.

#the pursuit of happyness #history #this is my spicy life juice #humans being humans #people just peopling #chicken in pants #1732 #1862 #like damn #they realy do just be out here #vibing #lil beans

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This is. Very good.

It would do everyone a well of good to see this

Water biscuits

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Pls. It is to true. mf don’t out me like that D:

you ever accidentally create a recurring theme in your writing. you start putting together an outline for something you’ve never written before and get partway through planning, rearrange the pieces, and go “GODDAMMIT THIS IS ABOUT GRIEF AGAIN”? because let me tell you,

#i swear to god i don’t know why i keep doing this #like damn #character development #or lack thereof

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Noice :)

By John Hyde

#bear

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#they’re the same thing

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Frostbite Studios on Instagram

#no words #just pretty magic women