iceprincelebrat

[iceprincelebrat]

I love this new interview with the vampire series but can we please talk about how Daniel pronounces "emirates" in the first episode? 😭 Have I been saying it wrong all these years? Surely it's "em uh rates" not "em er rahties"?

#the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vampire louis #interview with the vampire #iwtv #tvc #amc interview with the vampire #amc immortal universe

[iceprincelebrat]

guys

guys

G u y s

Look at my newest masterpiece

You’re welcome.

-👑

[iceprincelebrat]

Another lost fiction I'd like to find:

It's a modern day au for the vampire chronicles. Lestat is this dyslexic kid who is new to the school and Louis is a blind kid who's been there for years. They meet and fall in love and date and it's so wholesome. Anyone k ow where it is or what it's called?

#the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #the vampire lestat #vampire louis #vampire armand #tvc #anne rice #lost fanfiction

[iceprincelebrat]

So y'all know that episode where Dean gets turned into an old man? That's the only time he ever gets to be old

#supernatural #deanwinchtser #dean winchester #supernatural spoilers

[iceprincelebrat]

Tumblr, you've helped me find ancient fanfictions so many times I hope you can come through for me on this one. I'm looking for a yugioh fic based in modern day. The pharaoh chose to stay in the present, got his own body, has his own home and is wealthy whatever. And he and yugi are still friends. The story opens with yugi running home in the rain I think and stopping at yamis house to shelter but he winds up having to stay over. At some point in the night he finds out yami has feelings for him, I think he went to the pharaoh because of the lighting and overheard the pharaoh sleep talking about him. Anyway he ran home with the pharaoh chasing him, horrified that yugi found out. Yugi avoids him for a bit and then sees him when they go to the movies I think? It was so long ago, but I remember laughing because they were dressed in the same colours but opposite. Yami wore orange pants and a white top and yugi white pants and an orange top. I think it was on ff.net but I'm not sure. They do get together eventually

#yugioh #puzzleshipping #fanfiction #writers #yaoi couple #yugi x atem

[iceprincelebrat]

I've returned to the realm of Yugi-Oh obsession. Only to find Quizilla, my first experience with fanfiction, has gone and all the stories with it. I knew it was gone but I thought the stories would be somewhere but no, not even the way back machine has them 😭😭 guys I lived on that site as a teenager

#quizzila #yugioh #fanfiction #teen angst #atem #yugi moto #dark bakura #learning #teens #childhood #writers

[iceprincelebrat]

TW: self harm, eating disorders, sexual assault/rape, body shaming, child abuse, narcissistic mother

You might think I'm very selfish if you do decide to read this but I swear I've never been selfish in this family and I think now as an adult I should have that privilege.

One of the hardest parts of being home over the holidays was handling my narcissistic mother who neglected and abused me my whole life. She and my dad are still married because she is disabled and can't take care of herself and my dad is too kind to leave her. My older autistic brother lives with them while my sister lives 2 hours away studying and I live 4 hours away working. I had to come home home the holidays because there would be hell if I didn't and I really wanted to see my dad and sister. I am however embarking on a four night secret holiday on my way back to my real home 4 hours away, only my partner my dad and my sister know about it.

I grew up in this dysfunctional hell hole. It's not as bad as some people's struggles I know, don't come for me. But drowning in a puddle is just as effective as drowning in an ocean. I was severely depressed, self harmed, starved myself, had anger issues (the very well hidden kind) usual gifted child who doesn't need any support shit.

My mother has always been abusive in one way or another and my dad hasn't been around when she's being abusive until now when I'm an adult and she only gets to talk to me if he's around.

My mother tried to nail me with two big things this holiday and some smaller things:

1. Teaching my brother to flirt and get girls numbers

2. The long awaited grandchildren

Yes this is a whining post. I need to get it out somewhere no one I know will see it. You don't need to read, sorry to spam you.

My brother is verbal and can communicate alright but he doesn't get social cues like interested or uninterested girls. He can't flirt, he's scared to talk to girls for obvious reasons. My mother asked me and my little sister to help. I didn't agree I kept quiet and ignored her the first time. She couldn't be serious.

My brother has no hygiene because water bothers him and my mom doesn't think he needs help and he won't listen to my dad, he has no social skills having been homeschooled in a bad way where he was sheltered and coddled, and he is just generally not likely to be a girls first choice. It's harsh to say but it's true. My brother is sweet as hell but no girl will find that out because no girl will get passed the above mentioned points.

So I didn't believe her when she asked me and my sister behind his back to take him out to a local pub and set him up with girls, show him how to flirt and identify interested parties. When she approached a second time however...

"First I want to thank you both for keeping in touch with him, it makes him so happy to hear from you...blah blah blah" I knew when I heard this that she was serious. True as bob "I need you guys to take him to the pub and just show him how to flirt..blah blah blah"

My sister: "but it's awkward, it feels gross."

Me, shaking with rage: "why is this our problem? Why do we have to take him out and teach him this?"

Mom, immediately putting on her oh my life is unfair face and sighing to make me feel guilty: "nevermind. It's fine. Don't worry about it. It's fine."

Me: "we can't always be responsible for him."

So yes I'm an ass. But understand that I raised my siblings while my dad worked two jobs and my mom lay around in bed all day. I ran this house, taught them both, served her hand and foot and still had to do my own work and schooling. I did a lot for her growing up, including parenting her children to the point I almost don't want my own.

It wasn't just feeling like it's pointless to take him out and teach him this stuff. It's how unfair it is that we have to socialize him when she should have done it from the start. If she had been a parent he wouldn't have such a hard time socializing. She's always made him my responsibility, and I lost friends because they didn't want to hang out with my "retarded" brother who creeper them out. I know those kinds of friends aren't the good kind but in a tiny town where I was homeschooled they were all I had.

Her pushing has made my relationship with him bad, I don't like talking to him and generally keep contact on an as needed basis. I do feel guilty for this because it's not his fault any of this has happened and I do love him but she's put such a bad taste in my mouth.

I felt so angry to have him thrown on me again when I'm just going to therapy now for the trauma I experienced growing up and I'm just learning how fucked up my life has been.

Especially since she proved in the last four years (by taking care of her elderly father in a different province) that she's perfectly capable of cleaning, cooking, shopping and other shit I had to do growing up. Which just means I wasn't worth the effort. My mental health was not worth her doing her job as a parent.

And with the grandchild shit. She traumatized me. She shoved purity culture down my throat. I have vaginismus and other issues around sex and intimacy because of it.

She made me feel dirty about my body when I started my periods and she told me I couldn't swim in the pool at home, but when I had swimming competitions, period or not, I had to compete so she could have another picture of me with a trophy for her Facebook. I have horrified highly religious friends with how negative I am about my body when I'm menstrual.

I physically can't eat more than one bowl of food when I'm home because I'm "wasting the food we can't afford" and I'm "gaining a few kilos" and it fucking sucks. I starved myself as a teenager because of this shit. I always knew my family had money problems and I tried to keep my impact minimal by not eating, not asking for new clothes when I needed them, not doing activities I liked because I didn't want my dad to pay so much money, not accepting treats when my siblings asked for them. As an adult being home this holiday I've barely eaten because I've just gotten shit comments about my body and my size. I wear a 34C bra, a 34 pants and small shirts quite comfortably. I'm 169cm and weight 60kgs. I am healthy.

When my breasts grew to a C cup when I was 12 my mother bought revealing tops for me and told me I'd get a boyfriend like that. She set me on a date with a 17 year old boy. She promptly threw condoms at me one day and said "under my roof with me home or not at all" and left.

When in my teens I didn't have a boyfriend she was so proud of me being pure and sensible to her friends but behind their backs nagging me that I can't stay single forever. Then changing her mind and shitting on me any time I mentioned anything remotely sexual.

I can't explain how much and what she did to make my body physically repel my partner who I love dearly and feel safe with. The blame isn't only hers, I was raped by my ex but even when I was with him I had the same issues have now; my current partner is just less inclined to force his way in.

And she now wants to whine that none of her kids are married and none of us are dating and none of us have babies? Fuck her. I'm so angry writing this.

She guilts us by saying her grandkids won't have a grandmother at this rate. I said shame and she nearly threw a fit but as family were around us she didn't dare.

The audacity to think I will let her near them? She hit me across the face with a wooden spoon when I was four because I didn't want to do something. She made me eat my own vomit around the same age because my brother and sister were up all night screaming and crying and me being sick was the last straw. I can't vomit to this day because it creates so much anxiety. From the age of 5 or 6 she locked me in the yard unsupervised for hours so she could cook and watch Oprah and talk to her friends on the telephone and then ten minutes before my dad got home she'd let me in and make me wash my hands and feet and act like I'd been inside watching TV with my siblings. She would blame me for things my brother did so he wouldn't get in trouble with my dad. She left me with her parents for weeks at a time to be with my brother in hospital after his seizures because I was too little to go with her, but my baby sister could go. Nevermind that when I was a baby I couldn't go with.

She has no concept of boundaries, she will do things with my babies I don't want done and then try to laugh it off and when I take them away and ban her from being alone with them she's going to get upset with me and get sympathy from everyone else and no one will stand up to her except maybe my dad and sister.

I told my dad she's the biggest barrier to me having a family because I can't cut her out without cutting my dad out. Which makes me hate her because I want me dad to know my babies, but because of her that can't happen. I don't want her to see them, hold them or talk to them and I haven't even come close to conceiving them yet.

My dad and sister understand me and they support me and that keeps me sane. But I can't be home for the holidays again. This year was a fucking shit time. She made me feel so small and powerless and I cannot handle it anymore. I've been learning about the power I actually have and I'm learning to use it to protect myself and what I believe in.

I always cry when I confront people. I haven't cried once this visit which was hard between that confrontation, the baby bombs, the body shaming and the reminder that I'm just here to serve her purpose brought me low. This is a whining post. But I needed to write it out and have it somewhere safe. Sorry to spam your feed.

#narcissistic abuse #child abuse #trauma #recovery #holiday trauma

[iceprincelebrat]

wei ying: I told jiang cheng his ears flush when they lie.

yanli: Why?

wei ying: Look.

wei ying: Hey jiang cheng! Do you love me?

jiang cheng, covering his ears: No.

[iceprincelebrat]

Jiang Cheng, NO!

😂😂

[iceprincelebrat]

Reasons why I am like Jiang Cheng

1. I want so many things in a partner that I don’t even know what I want

2. I’m demanding and sulky because I’m lonely and don’t know how to ask for love and affection

3. I have abandonment issues centered around the idea that my parents are disappointed in me

4. I constantly threaten people I love but get angry when anyone else threatens them

5. I’ve been spanked numerous time by my parents for rolling my eyes

6. I’ve never heard of a modest entrance, drama is everything

7. I hog my sister from my brother

8. I’d kill myself for my family

9. I like soft and fluffy things but don’t let anyone know because I want to be more masculine

10. I suck at making friends, literally no one wants to play with me, not even Nie Huaisang.

#theuntamed #mdzs #jiangcheng

[iceprincelebrat]

Literally every author out there is screaming their agreement. If you don’t like it, make sure it isn’t in the tags and then don’t read it. If you read it and decide you don’t like it just go away. Please! We can’t please everyone and coming into the comments and talking about why you hate the story just shames everyone who does like it and makes them feel bad. Please just acknowledge you don’t like it and then go, you don’t need to explain.

I just.

You don’t need a reason to not like a ship.  You don’t need a reason not to ship a ship, canon or otherwise.  You don’t have to prove it’s “problematic” or “abusive” or any of that shit.

You’re allowed to just not like it.  You can literally just say “eh, I don’t like it, it’s just not my thing” and that’s valid.  You don’t have to explain it or excuse it.  Just say you don’t like it and move the fuck on, for fuck’s sake.

I am BEGGING y’all.

[iceprincelebrat]

Jiang Cheng: What did you do?

Wei Wuxian: Nobody died!

Jiang Cheng: What kind of answer is that?!

[iceprincelebrat]

Lan Qiren: This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!

Wei Wuxian: THAT IS TRUE!

Lan Qiren: He has no respect!

Wei Wuxian: THAT IS ALSO TRUE!

[iceprincelebrat]

I went three years without writing a single word on AO3

Now I’ve been back for a year and a bit and I can’t seem to write enough. But looking back at all I wrote between 14 and 21 years old, before I grew up and lived the reality of what I’d been writing; I’m shook. I can’t read it anymore, I can’t write it anymore and those works will remain unfinished while I constantly sit for five or six hours every day writing and completing other stories. I will write for love now, I will write for positivity and I will write genuine and open love stories. No more bull storylines where no one wins and everyone hurts.

#fanfic #writers on tumblr #erotxcism #my writing #life experiences

[iceprincelebrat]

Everyone needs to know about this!

#selfdefence #safety

[iceprincelebrat]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[iceprincelebrat]

Hi guys! I’ve got this new fic going on AO3, I’ve started branching out into a new fandom.....if you like arranged marriage, love triangles, gayness, mpreg, dubcon, developing relationships, plot twists etc. you might like this one. it’s a ChengXian fic though, not WangXian! Don’t come for me.

#the untamed #fanfic #my ao3 #smut #mdzs fic #chengxian