kisskeiji

[kisskeiji]

hi! on previous chapters reader had talks with Asui (the girl iwa cheated with) and mattsun, like how he never said anything about having a girlfriend at the time, or how he asked his friends not to say anything to reader when they found out. iwaizumi left those details out, unaware of reader already knowing all of it, therefore making his apology meaningless in her eyes.

10. Wandering Romance.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, descriptions of anxiety.

You never were one to yell, it was unusual for you to burst the way you did at Iwaizumi the day before, the pain in your voice and the angry tears running down your cheeks haunted the trainer the whole ride home. Everyone was used to your calm resolve and monotone voice when you were angry, not even him, after all those years knowing you, was graced with the sight of you and your raw emotions more than once. Did he caused all that or did you became someone he didn’t know anymore?

Your words were like an endless loop in his head as he sat on the dusty couch, his body felt heavy, and he could only stare into space. It took a while for everything to sink in, the damage he did went deeper than he anticipated, it affected him too. And it didn’t matter how many times he tried to get his point across, you were not going to accept his apology, a simple ‘sorry’ wasn’t going to cut it for both of you. Being in each other’s lives would create another cycle of hurt and vengeance. He would be miserable as he watched you build your life with Atsumu, he couldn’t explain the origin of his envy and the ill intentions that bubbled up in the back of his mind.

Your happiness shouldn’t be the reason for his dreariness. He really was fucked up inside, as you said before.

He sighed, basking in the silence of his apartment for a few minutes when the sound of the door opening made him look to his side.

“What are you doing here?” Hanamaki asked, taking off his shoes. “Why are you back so early? I thought you weren’t coming back until next week.”

“Change of plans, I guess.” Iwaizumi said, closing his eyes.

“Are you okay?” His friend inquired, sitting by his side on the couch, he noticed Iwaizumi’s eyes fixed on the ceiling. “Do you want to talk about it?” Iwaizumi looked at the pink-haired man for a second.

“I saw Y/N. I wanted to talk to her and apologize, but I fucked up again.” He ran his hands over his face as the images of your angry face flashed through his memory. “If she didn’t hate me before, I’m sure she does now.” Hanamaki held back a giggle. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, it’s just… You can’t be that dense, dude. I know you, you’re smarter than that.”

“I’m not in the mood for your jokes, Makki, leave me alone.”

“No, no, let’s talk. Because you put us through your lies and their consequences, you hurt us all, caused one of our best friends to avoid us for over a year, you treat us like shit because you are bitter and angry.” Takahiro recounted. “And not happy with making your misery everyone’s problem, you insist on pushing this narrative to redeem your character as if no one knew how badly you fucked up.” He wanted to laugh, out of anger and frustration.

As much as Iwaizumi had fucked up, he was still his friend and seeing him slowly destroy himself hurted Makki just as much. “We told you many times not to bother her, and yet you went out of your way, flew all the way back, leaving your fucking job… just so you can sleep at night?”

“Yes, Makki, that’s exactly what I did. You’re so right, are you a mind reader or something?” Iwaizumi fired back sarcastically.

“Doesn’t take a mind reader to recognize a fucking idiot!”

“I’m done here.” The trainer got up and walked to his room.

“Sure, go hide in your room! See if you can get your head out of your ass while you’re at it.” There was no response after that. They were both done even when their word exchange was short-lived.

Hanamaki was sure he wasn’t the only one deeply hurt and tired of Iwaizumi´s antics. Matsukawa and Oikawa were too, and they didn’t even live in the same city. Truth to be told, he was far more worried about you since Iwaizumi admitted your encounter, of course, you were strong, but by the look of things and his friend’s behavior, you were probably distraught too.

One thing you appreciated about Makki and Mattsun was their bluntness. They always went straight to the point, it took them a while to go back to your old dynamic, but you did nonetheless. He sent you a text after thinking about it for a minute or two.

‘I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it right now, but if you want me to beat him up I can call Mattsun for backup.’

It read. You saw the notification as it lit up your screen and smiled a little. You replied with a quick thank you and left your phone on your nightstand. Surprisingly enough, you felt numb enough not to recall any of the previous events. The only sensation in your body was exhaustion, maybe from all the yelling or for finally getting rid of the weight you carried on your shoulders for almost two years. Maybe both. You took a shower after getting home and went straight to bed for a while to finish the work you brought home since you left early.

Evening turned into night and you forced yourself to have something small to eat even though you weren’t hungry, you knew Atsumu wouldn’t like it if you went to bed with an empty stomach. His voice resonated in your head, berating you for skipping meals. You debated yourself if it was a good idea to tell him about your ‘talk’ with Iwaizumi over the phone or if you should wait until he came back. You didn’t want to throw him off his game by worrying him even more.

‘That’s a problem for future me.’ You thought before turning the lights off so you could sleep.

By morning you felt much better, still tired, but better. Your limbs felt less heavy and your mind wasn’t as foggy, so you went ahead and started with your day as you normally would, you even had breakfast at home instead of the facility’s cafeteria. You were set on having a good day, and nothing was going to ruin it.

But that mindset only lasted for a few minutes, realization sunk in when you parked the car and took off your sunglasses. You sighed, looking at yourself in the rearview, you had enough of that a long time ago, so much had happened since you picked your pieces up, and the ones that were missing were already replaced with new and better ones.

You’d never understand Iwaizumi’s stubbornness to let go, his fixation with the past, and his obsession with fixing the unfixable. Maybe that’s what made you two fall apart, you always had one step into the future while he was stuck three steps in the past, holding grudges. Not a lot has changed since you were with him, and that’s why you were so reluctant to give him the forgiveness he craved so much.

While essentially you were the same person, the lessons you learned in your healing process molded you differently, especially with Atsumu in your life, you learned a very valuable lesson with him. If you can’t see someone in your future, then don’t entertain them in your present, and if someone got stuck in your past, it’s because they weren’t worthy of your future. Of course, he didn’t phrase it like that, it was probably more aggressive, but he got his point across, didn’t he?

The only thing left to do was to move on, hoping it’ll be easier this time.

You walked to your office calmly with your bag hanging under your arm and sunglasses on top of your head.

“Morning, girls.” You said as you entered your section, everyone greeted you back and went back to work. You focused on setting your belongings on your desk to start your day. Going through emails, checking your calendars, and crossing tasks from your ‘to-do list’ as you finished them. About two hours in and a few calls with magazine editors, your body craved some caffeine to keep going.

Yeah, you weren’t so proud of your codependence on caffeine, but your workload required at least two cups of coffee every day. “What happened to our coffee machine?” You asked when you noticed the appliance was missing from the corner you conditioned for your team.

“Inunaki-senshu dared the rookies to steal it.” One of your assistants explained.

“What?” There wasn’t a real explanation for it, the team seniors decided to do an extensive initiation ritual for some reason, it was funny at first, but the ritual was about to hit the month mark, and so far every department in the facility had already suffered from the ravages of the celebration. “Where’s Hideko?” You asked, maybe she could help you out, but apparently she hadn’t arrived yet. You huffed in frustration, taking your radio from your desk to ask if anyone knew where your department’s beloved coffee machine could be. A trail of negative responses made your frustration grow by the second, so you walked out of your office to get it back yourself.

“Inunaki Shion, you have five minutes to give my coffee machine back or I’m posting your birthday pictures on every front page across the country.” You announced through your radio, knowing the trainers and assistants had theirs on them, and that Inunaki had to be near one of them. You clicked the elevator button repeatedly, waiting for the doors to open.

A few staff members replied through their radios, revealing Inunaki’s whereabouts and possible hiding spots. “Here’s another dare for all the rookies, the first one to bring my machine back is not getting their bad shots on the official website.” You threatened as you looked up to see the small screen on top of the elevator signaling there was someone going up to the floor you were currently in. You were really trying to have a good day, but your team wasn’t making it any easier.

“What on earth is going on?” You heard Hideko’s voice from your radio. ‘Finally.’

“They stole my coffee machine and won’t give it back.” You pressed the button on the side of your radio to reply.

“ I’ll be up in a second, but what if I told you I have something better than your coffee machine?”

“Doubt it.” You waited for the particular beep the radio did after every message.

The doors opened but you were still looking up. “What are you looking at?” That voice was familiar, it was the one that wished you good night every day. You immediately looked straight ahead to see your boyfriend standing right in front of you. He dropped his bags before you could say anything, his hands cupped your face gently as he brought you closer to him with a bright smile. “Cat got your tongue?”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, placing your hands on his forearms for stability, he pecked your lips before replying.

“I missed you.”

“But the tournament!”

“I took care of it, don’t worry about it, okay?” He reassured you.

“Miya, you better get your bags before I let go of these doors,” Hideko said, making your boyfriend roll his eyes, you were glad his back was facing her because otherwise, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. He had to let go of you for a second to get his things. “So? Better than your coffee machine, right?” You nodded at her question, smiling. “I’ll go get it back anyway, and I’ll stop that damned initiation Inunaki has going on.”

“Please do before they terrorize the janitors.” You said, making your boss laugh. Once Atsumu finished gathering his things, she got back into the elevator, but with the intention of going down this time. As soon as the door closed, you felt Atsumu’s arms circle around your figure lovingly.

“Let’s go to my office, or do you want to go home first? But you’ll have to stay at my place for a few days, there’s nothing to eat at yours, I had to empty it all out. You should’ve told me, I could’ve at least cleaned a little, it’s probably all dusted.” You were letting all of your thoughts out without noticing. Atsumu kissed your temple and laughed a little. “I’ll give you my keys, so you can go rest at my house.”

“That sounds great, baby, but I was hoping we could talk first, you know?” He said, pulling away and turning you around to look at you. You both knew what he was referring to, but he still tried his best to explain his impromptu arrival. “I came after him, I booked a flight as soon as I could and came straight here to see if you were okay.”

You stared at him, still trying to process what he said. “I’ll tell you all about it, just not here.” He looked around the corridor. Taking his hand on yours, you guided him to your office and closed the door behind you. He settled his bags on the small couch as you sat on your chair, then he walked to your desk. It suddenly felt as if you were being interrogated, concern filled Atsumu’s eyes, the same ones you were trying to avoid as you tried to put into words what happened the day before. He placed his hands on the edge of your desk and leaned a little.

“It’s just me.” Atsumu said, making you look up.

“I know.” You tried to smile. “You go first.” He nodded.

“The night before the opening, he asked me to talk to him and I agreed because I know much this weighs on you even when you don’t say it out loud. I thought that maybe coming to some sort of resolve would help you, but then he started talking, and I swear I never wanted to punch someone so bad in my life.” He said, shaking his head at the memory, you smirked in agreement. “He said a bunch of nonsense, and I had to ground him, I told him he was pathetic and I left.”

“The next morning we were told he had a family emergency and he left. Omi and I thought it was odd so we went to Oikawa. It was great to finally meet him, by the way.” He interrupted himself for a second. “Anyway, he got worried and called Iwaizumi’s mom to see if everything was okay, turns out she was okay and I left right after because I knew he would come after you.” You stared at him for a second, feeling terrible for the situation you put him in.

“He was here yesterday.” You said.

“You talked to him?” You nodded at his question.

“We talked, and I got very angry.” You inhaled before continuing. “He started avoiding details I found along the way through people, and I was so, so mad at him, he was still lying after all this time.” Your throat itched with discomfort, eyes threatening to spill a few tears. “I really wanted to forgive him, you know? But he makes it so hard, and I’m tired of being the bigger person.”

“It would’ve been worse if you forgave him. He’d be the same person, and he’d keep on hurting everyone in his life.” Your boyfriend explained. “You don’t have to forgive him.”

“But I do.” You confessed. “Look, he wasn’t always like this, I’ve known him since we were kids, something’s wrong with him, but fixing it, it’s not up to me.” Atsumu walked around your desk and sat slightly on it before resting one of his hands on your cheek. “I feel like shit, like I’m living in spite of him.”

“And what if you are?”

“It was never my intention.” You stated simply. Giving yourself a minute to breathe in.

You never wanted to hurt anyone with your actions, albeit you did in the end, it was inevitable. You couldn’t describe what was going through your body and mind in that very moment, or the day before when you found yourself letting go of all the anger harbored inside of you, that being honest, you weren’t even aware of its existence, at least not as anger. You never wanted to hurt anyone, you weren’t supposed to, given the decisions you took, you thought it was the best for everyone. For him.

You were told time and time again that you were walking on eggshells, that you were too considerate, too enabling, too forgiving; but the people who judged you never understood that you accommodated for yourself rather than Iwaizumi. Because to bear with a messy breakup would’ve been your last straw, and you knew it. You knew it by the way things played the day before, even after years of working on yourself, your words shot to kill, and killing they did, you were sure of it.

Atsumu said your name softly, running his thumb freely on your cheek. “You are not living in spite of him, you’re just living.” He said. “Whatever the fuck is going through his mind is not your problem, if he wants to keep playing the victim like he has before, there´s nothing you can do about it. No matter how many ways you come up with to explain yourself, he’s always gonna be the saint on his side of the story, the difference is that the people who love you know your character.”

“We know you, and we know there’s truth in what you say, and that there never was malice in what you did.” He was now crouching to be at the same level as you. “You care so much about what he feels to this day, but do you ever stop and wonder if he ever cares about what you feel?” You remained silent. He didn’t.

Hajime could only repeat how sorry he was, and it wasn’t hard to deduce his actions were ridden by self-indulgence. You shook your head, still looking at Atsumu. “Are you hurting right now?”

“What’s with all of these questions?” You tried to laugh it off not wanting to cry at work, again. “Don’t look at me like that…” Your voice pleaded, looking away, he called your name once again. “What happened to princess?”

“Stop avoiding my question.”

“I don’t know, Atsumu. I don’t know what I’m feeling.” You confessed. Atsumu took your hand, tugging slightly to make you stand up, once you did, his left hand traveled to the back of your head, leading you to his chest as you embraced his torso pulling him closer. You sighed in relief to avoid crying, your body aching for your boyfriend’s warmth, hoping for things to fall into place once you were in his arms, at least for a few seconds, because as puzzling as your thoughts could be, Atsumu seemed to understand you better than yourself at times. “I really don’t want to cry at work, Tsumu.” You said, making him laugh a little.

“Sorry.” He kissed your temple. “I love you.” He admitted after a second of silence, you inhaled deeply, taking his scent in, a mixture of fresh laundry and the familiar smell of his deodorant that lingered permanently on him welcomed you, and assured you that you didn’t have to grieve by yourself.

“I love you more.” Your words came out a bit muffled, you planted a small kiss on his chest as a thank you, he reciprocated by kissing the top of your head, basking in the intimacy of the moment, you never noticed when the door opened.

“Sorry to interrupt this beautiful moment, but I found your coffee machine.” You heard Hideko say, curiosity making you break the embrace to look at your boss. She stepped aside to let one of the rookies in, he had orange hair and if you remembered correctly, his name was Hinata.

“Please, Y/N-san, don’t kill us. It was a dare, I swear, they forced us!” He held the appliance from the bottom, desperately explaining himself.

“Shoyo-kun!” Atsumu exclaimed before you could say anything.

“Miya-san?” Hinata went from frightened to confused in a matter of seconds.

“You know each other?” Hideko asked, just as surprised as Hinata when Atsumu walked up to him to shake his hand. Atsumu explained how they met each other in high school and the rivalry between their schools. You smiled at the sight of a happy Atsumu, noticing the awkward position Hinata was standing, still holding the coffee machine, you said:

“You can leave the machine outside, Hinata, I’ll put it back later.” He smiled before walking out of your office. Atsumu looked at you with a small smile. “Go catch up with him, I’ll be here.” He followed Hinata after you said that, leaving you and Hideko alone.

“Do you want to go get Inunaki?” You shook your head, telling her you’d talk with him later, she shrugged and closed the door, now you were by yourself.

For some reason the air felt sharper in your lungs, you wanted to blame it on the air conditioner but you knew that pain well enough to know it was your own body fighting the panic building inside you. Shivering for a moment, you breathed slowly, pulling yourself back together, you still had to endure the rest of the day before coming undone.

‘Suck it up.’

*

Atsumu entertained himself by practicing with the rookies while he waited for you, he refused to go home without you and even tried to lure you out of your office a few times but you told him repeatedly you couldn’t leave early. By the end of the day, he trailed not so patiently behind you as you turned the lights off and locked the doors. You rolled your eyes when he ran to his car with open arms, latching onto the hood, mumbling how much he missed it, he snatched the key from your hand and drove all the way to your house, asking if you took proper care of the engine and if you used the right kind of fuel. He was getting on your nerves, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss his endless rambling.

You helped him carry his bags to your building, discussing what you wanted to order for dinner and instructing him to take a shower before doing anything else because he was clearly tired. He went straight to your room as soon as you were inside your apartment, you heard him rummaging through your closet, looking for the clothes he left there, yelling something about you stealing his favorite hoodie.

Soft music played across your kitchen and living room from the speaker on your counter, you sighed, taking the duffel bag with Atsumu’s dirty clothes to wash them while you waited for your turn to shower. He came out of the shower minutes later, looking more relaxed and cozy. You were almost envious of how comfortable he looked, he pecked your lips before you entered the bathroom and made his way to your living room to rest on the couch. He made sure to put in the order for your food before he let himself drift into a peaceful slumber, his phone on his chest along with his intertwined fingers. He woke up to the feeling of your lips on his forehead and the little water droplets that tingled his chin, he smiled at your proximity and fixed his position on the couch so you could sit beside him.

“We need to change the music or I’ll fall asleep.” He said, running his hand on the bare skin of your legs that rested on top of his. Before you could reply, his phone buzzed announcing an incoming message. It was his brother. “Look at them.” He showed you his screen, displaying a picture of Osamu and Suna in front of the Eiffel Tower. You smiled, trying to ignore the guilt slowly bubbling in your gut.

“You should’ve stayed.” You whispered, playing with the back of his hair. Your friends were probably having a great time, sightseeing and discovering another country, and Atsumu felt forced to leave the adventure behind to be with you.

“Alone, in the city of love?” He asked, looking at you. “Without the love of my life? No, thank you.” You laughed and hid your face from him. “I’m serious! Besides, I missed you like crazy.” His lips pressed against your temple reassuringly. “We can go together for our anniversary.”

“You mean it?”

“Of course I do, I want to travel the world with you.” You kissed his jaw lovingly, feeling your heart heavy in your chest as if it was about to burst.

“Thank you for coming back, you have no idea how much I needed you.” You admitted.

“Almost as much as I needed you.” Adoration pooled in his eyes, and you were sure that you two could keep professing sweet declarations of love if his phone hadn’t buzzed time and time again with pictures and messages from Osamu and Suna. “Are they ever going to shut up?” Atsumu groaned, looking at the screen. The photos were beautiful, Aran and Hana showed in a few of them.

Atsumu told you the team played two matches that day and won both, so most of the team went out to celebrate and rest, the next match was days away. The blonde was more than fed up with his brother spamming his phone, so he dragged you to the kitchen to take pictures mocking the ones Osamu and Suna sent. You laughed at his commitment to striking the same poses as his brother at the same time that he fixed your limbs to imitate the middle blocker.

“‘Tsumu, what are we even doing?” You asked him, amusement in your voice as he inspected the pictures to choose the best one.

“Wait and see.” You saw him opening an editing app when the doorbell rang, and you had to get the food. He was entertained enough to leave you alone to serve dinner and the table, by the time you were done, he showed you the edited photo of you with a stock photo of the same location of one of the pictures Osamu sent as the background. You snorted at your boyfriend’s editing skills, he paid you no mind as he sent the picture to his brother. “That will do it.”

“Do what exactly, ‘Tsumu?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You ask too many questions.” He clicked his tongue before eating the first bite of his meal.

“You love it.” You teased, taking a step closer to his figure.

“That I do.” He admitted, kissing the corner of your lips.

Atsumu spent the rest of the night listening and chasing you around, unable to keep his hands to himself, and it wasn’t like you were complaining. You missed his playful touches and the feeling of his lips on yours.

It wasn’t until you were in bed, secure in his arms and already dozing off that the blonde realized how tired he was, his body slowly melting into your warmth. He heard a soft ‘I love you’ slipping past your lips and he smiled to himself.

Atsumu was grateful because he was able to experience love with you. He never knew he was looking for love until he found you, so he came to the conclusion that he wasn’t looking for love, he was simply looking for you. He knew it was cheesy, but he was convinced you were tied together by some sort of force that drew you to each other. After all the bruises your heart took, you made your way to him and he couldn’t be happier.

He always thought that he was hard to hold on to, that not everyone was up for the challenge of dealing with him and his mistakes, but you showed him how tender love could be, that being taken care of is not necessarily a bad thing, and you loved him as if it was easy, never a burden or too much. You saw right through him like no one else, not even his brother. Never bothered to hear what other people said about him, he was simply Atsumu.

Your Atsumu.

And he’ll continue to be yours for as long as he was able to.

*

Oikawa always wondered how you two became friends. You were so different, yet you complimented each other perfectly. You were rational and he was visceral, you brought balance to his life while he provided you with adrenaline. Always finding comfort in each other’s words, because apparently, you were both always right. He also blamed himself for the situation you were in, he had for months now.

He was there when you met Iwaizumi, he noticed you liked the other even before you realized, and did everything in his power to get the two of you together because if he was honest, the pining was almost painful to watch. He relished the feeling of seeing his two best friends happy together, and at some point he started picturing himself as Iwaizumi’s best man at your wedding, giving the best speech ever and making the two of you cry. He never thought he’d see you and Hajime grow apart, at least not the way you did.

Now, as he waited for Iwaizumi to pick up the phone for the third time in ten minutes, he pondered if he should go off on his best friend for being so stupid or if he should offer a listening ear because he knew his friend was hurting too. It was useless, Iwaizumi never picked up, so he decided to give him some time before trying to call again.

The airport was crowded, as usual, the humidity inside of it had his nose running a little and his eyes were teary and puffy from the lack of sleep. Coming back to Japan unannounced wasn’t his fashion at all, he always thought he’d never come back, but there he was, waiting for Atsumu to pick him up at the Osaka airport.

“You know she’s going to kill us, right?” The blonde said as soon as he got out of his car to greet him.

“Not before she cries.” They laughed, and Oikawa placed his suitcase on Atsumu’s car trunk.

“I can’t believe you didn’t make it to the finals! I was hoping to see your team against mine.”

“Oh, come on, your team was gone well before mine.” Oikawa defended himself. Both Japan and Argentina were out of the tournament exactly one week after it started, giving your best friend time to book a flight to see you as a surprise that would hopefully cheer you up, Atsumu had told him you were fine but it looked like something was bothering you and no matter how hard your boyfriend tried, you wouldn’t budge, you were just keeping it to yourself.

“Don’t get me started, I’m still mad at them.” Atsumu huffed, and Oikawa grinned. The rest of the drive was filled with volleyball talk, as expected from both setters. Atsumu made his way to his apartment where you were currently spending your day off, he had to come up with an excuse to leave his place, he didn’t remember exactly what he said, something about a supermarket run for some items you forgot the day before when you accompanied and helped him restock his pantry after his absence. You were too tired to argue, so you let him go without a question.

The airport was quite far from Atsumu’s house, so he had to drive a little faster than usual, making Oikawa grip onto the handles above the car door every time he took a harsh turn. The brunette was too distracted wondering how did Atsumu got his license when it seemed like he was driving with his feet, that he took a few seconds to realize the car came to a full stop, the sound of the engine slowly turning off made him aware of his arrival to Atsumu’s apartment complex. “We’re here.” Your boyfriend announced.

“You stay here,” Atsumu instructed, making Oikawa stand with his back glued to the wall beside the door. “Just wait.”

Atsumu opened the door and made his way in, resisting the habit of calling your name whenever he made it home. Instead, he waited for you to call out for him.

“You’re back.” You came out of his room, hair messy and subtle marks from the pillows on your cheek. He smiled, you slept well. “What did you forget?” You asked.

“What?”

“You said you forgot to buy something.” You replied, confused by Atsumu’s answer. “What was it?” You asked again, stopping briefly by his side to kiss his cheek hello.

“Uh… protein powder, for my shakes.” He lied, making you frown, you ordered his protein online, even asked him what flavor he wanted, you knew he was up to something but decided not to push further into it, until you looked around and spotted his empty hands. No bag, no container, nothing.

“So, where is it?” Atsumu’s eyes widened at your question. What an awful liar he was…

“In the car! I left it there, I had to use the bathroom really badly. Can you go get it, please?” He didn’t wait for an answer, he was already gone into his room. You rolled your eyes, grabbing his car keys that he previously left on the kitchen counter.

You opened the door as you slid into your sandals, when you looked up to step out, you caught a glimpse of a silhouette from the side of your eye, instinctively jerking your head and taking a step back inside after recognizing the person standing at the door.

“What the hell!” You yelled, immediately covering your mouth. Oikawa smiled at you.

“At least pretend you’re happy to see me.” He joked, stepping closer to you with arms wide open. You embraced him despite the state of shock you were in. Your best friend was right there in front of you, after six long years of being apart, he was there. You could barely comprehend what was going on.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, pushing your body away from him but never breaking the hug. His brown eyes stared into yours, tears welling upon them, your eyes felt wet too.

“Came to see you, dummy. What else?” You hugged him again, tighter this time, as if he was an illusion that could vanish in a matter of seconds.

“How long are you staying? Where are you staying? Do you even have a place to stay? Actually, you can stay here, Atsumu has a guest room I can ask him…” You kept your worried rambling going, words were hard to make out since you were basically glued to your best friend’s chest.

“I don’t think he can answer while you squeeze the life out of him.” Said Atsumu, who was back in the living room, you turned around.

“You.” Your finger was pointed at him. “You are a terrible liar.” Atsumu laughed as you freed Oikawa from your embrace, just to hug the blonde just as tight, if not harder. “Tell me I’m not dreaming, please tell me this is not a dream.” You cried, feeling his large hand running up and down your back soothingly.

“You’re not dreaming,” Atsumu assured. “Oikawa is very much here.”

“I hate you both.” You sobbed even harder after looking at them, making them laugh. You kept crying for a while, even as you helped Oikawa with his bags. Once you calmed down, you sat with them in the kitchen, talking for hours and letting your boyfriend and best friend get to know each other better, heart swelling with joy as they talked.

It was an odd sight, almost inconceivable, you never thought you’d get the chance to see two of the people you loved the most laugh and joke with ease. An instant understanding, something that almost never happened due to their tendencies to push people away, happened between the two, and that made you happy, to be understood was all they ever needed. Stories from your childhood, family dramas, and old memories you swore to secrecy made their way into the conversation, making you laugh so hard it made your abdomen hurt and your throat felt a little sore from the non-stop talking, and still, there were so many things you had yet to talk about.

Late at night, after all of you had enjoyed dinner, Atsumu excused himself since he was feeling tired, leaving you and Oikawa alone in comfortable silence. “Are you going straight to Miyagi, or are you stopping in Tokyo before going home?” You had asked. He understood the reason behind the question.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now…”

“Why not?” You interrupted him. “I’m not a baby, I can face my problems.” Oikawa 's gaze softened.

“That’s not what I meant. All I’m saying is that we’re having a good time, let’s keep it that way.” Your shoulders fell down, weird, you never felt them stiffen.

“You’re right, sorry, it’s just…” You paused. “I know we had put you in the middle of all of this, and that he’s your best friend too. Deep down, I regret the way I spoke to him the other day. A part of me wonders if he’s okay, but on the other hand, I don’t want to know anything about him for as long as I live.” You sighed, looking at your best friend in the eye. “I don’t know what to do, Toruu.”

His hand squeezed your shoulder. “Maybe you do need closure, and you’ve been denying yourself from it.”

“But…” You tried to refute.

“All of this.” He gestured with his finger. “This new life, new love, new you, is not closure.” The same finger touched your chest, right above your heart. “You feel like you can’t go on because the chapter is not really closed. It doesn’t matter how many times you reinvent yourself, rebuild your life, and run away, as long as you keep denying yourself from letting it all out, the chapter will keep going, and the story will repeat itself.” You stared in silence.

“What else is left to let out?” You asked sincerely. “I yelled at him and damned his existence.”

“I believe you’re the only one who can answer that.”

“I hate when you’re right.” You grumbled. “But I really don’t want to see him, I don’t think I can. How am I going to tell him the things I want to say.?”

“A letter, perhaps?” He suggested. “You were always better at expressing your feelings when writing, so write him a letter.” You thanked him for the advice, it was certainly more comforting to receive it face to face than through your phone screen. You hugged your best friend one more time before calling it a night and going to sleep.

You laid in bed, thinking about what you could possibly say to start off the letter. You couldn’t address Iwaizumi as “dear” since he was no longer dear to you. Should you refer to him as Iwaizumi or Hajime or both? Should you address him at all? Maybe just his name on the outside of the envelope would suffice. Regardless of all of that, what were you supposed to say exactly?

Was it an apology or a complaint?

A truce?

A request?

A restriction order sounded tempting, but that’d take longer. You tossed and turned for a little while before falling asleep with an arm around Atsumu’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. You had a little time to think about it, so once again, future you will have to deal with that. For now, you were going to sleep.

*

“Princess?” You heard Atsumu call from outside of the kitchen. “Are you ready? We need to drive Oikawa to the train station.”

“Almost done.” You said, briefly looking away from the piece of paper on the table in front of you. Oikawa stayed for five days, and at the end of every single one of them, you were left thinking about the letter you had yet to write. Crumbled pieces of paper could be found in the trash can, the result of the many times you rewrote your words. You even asked Atsumu if it was a good idea, he only shrugged and kept to himself, not wanting to interfere with your decision, though he agreed with what your best friend said nights before.

After numerous drafts, you settled for your final version just minutes before leaving to send Oikawa on his way to Tokyo. The letter was folded twice, and protected by an envelope in your purse now, as you drove to the station, but now you weren’t thinking about the letter but the fact that you had to say goodbye to your best friend, not knowing when you’d be able to see him again. A knot formed at the bottom of your throat, threatening to come out as a choked sob.

“Thank you so much for coming.” You said before embracing Toruu one last time, he did the same to you.

“Promise you’ll visit me.” He pressed his cheek on the top of your head. You nodded and pulled away from his arm to let Atsumu say his goodbyes. Taking the envelope from your bag, you held it tightly in your hands before handing it to Oikawa.

“Give this to him.” You asked though it sounded more like a plea. Oikawa took it from your hands and nodded to then press a kiss on your temple and board the train. Atsumu and you waved goodbye through the window and waited until the vehicle was gone completely. He placed his arm on top of your shoulders as you placed yours around his waist, walking to the exit.

“I’m proud of you,” Atsumu said out of nowhere, giving him a toothless smile, you hugged him a little tighter. He made a full stop to stand in front of you, his hands firmly on both of your shoulders. Hazel eyes stared into yours with nothing but love. You asked him why, and he kissed your forehead to say: “Because you won.”

“This is not a volleyball game, ‘Tsumu.” You chuckled, him along with you.

“You’re right, it’s a fight.” You looked at him, even more puzzled than before. “You won against your fears, maybe you don’t see it as a victory right now, but you will, with time.”

Light. Atsumu was light. Amidst the darkness of your lowest moments, he shined bright from the minute you met him because he showed you the path to true happiness. You knew you loved him, the way your body reacted to him, and how his presence was enough to make your heart beat faster than usual gave it away, but at that moment, in the middle of the sidewalk outside the train station, you knew happiness was right by his side. Atsumu was the heaven that awaited you after the hell of a journey you had to go through to get to him.

“I think I won way before this.” You admitted, making him raise a brow.

“And why is that?” He asked, amused.

“Because you’re here with me.” He smiled at your response, you knew he was about to call you a sap, so you rushed to say the following words: “I don’t know what comes after this, but whatever it is, I want you by my side.” You took his hand in yours and kissed his palm.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise.” You pulled him in for a kiss. Lips meeting carefully, your hands finding their place on the back of his head as he leaned down to kiss you passionately. For a moment you thanked the fact that the streets were empty, you were pulling quite a show with that movie-like kiss.

“You’re the love of my life too.” You said when you forcibly broke apart to breathe, Atsumu looked at you confused. “The other day, you said I was the love of your life.” You explained. “You are mine, too.” Atsumu kissed you again as soon as he heard those words, you had no time to predict his movements so you could only let out a small gasp before breaking into a fit of laughter as he hugged you with all he had.

“Let 's go home, baby.” He said, and you walked hand in hand to his car, the weight on your shoulders wasn't quite gone but it was lighter, you were somehow free now, and you had Atsumu by your side, so you knew things were going to be alright.

*

Iwaizumi waited at the train station, Oikawa announced his arrival the day before so he could pick him up. It took him by surprise, he expected his best friend to fly back to Argentina, furious and planning to never speak to him again, but when the setter called he felt relieved. Though Oikawa wasn’t completely in his corner, he needed his friend.

The train stopped before him, people rushed to get off of it, carrying bags and long faces from the trip. Oikawa stood out easily with his height, and as soon as Iwaizumi spotted him, he practically ran to him to hug and greet him. “It’s good to see you, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa said teasingly.

“You idiot, I missed you so much.” He smiled.

They took a cab to Hajime’s place, exchanging commentaries about the tournament and how Oikawa planned to get better for the next one, and also how he got along with his teammates. Despite the fact they chatted daily, there was a lot to talk about, things that were worth mentioning twice, details that were left out, and stuff that may not seem like a big deal on the phone. It was like a breath of fresh air for Iwaizumi.

“Where’s your bathroom, I’m dying to take a shower.” Oikawa exclaimed as soon as he got into the apartment.

“Right there.” Iwaizumi pointed to the second door in the hallway. “Left one is hot.” He passed Oikawa his bag and saw him scramble his hands in it to get a clean change of clothes and his bag of toiletries, but instead of heading straight to the shower, he passed Iwaizumi an envelope. “What 's this?”

“A letter.” The setter shrugged.

“From who?” He asked again, but Oikawa was already walking away. “Oi! Who is it from?” He was growing curious about the contents of the letter, but couldn’t help to doubt his best friend a little, was it a prank?

“Just read it,” Oikawa said and closed the bathroom door behind him.

Iwaizumi huffed in annoyance, making his way to the couch to read the mysterious letter. It wasn’t addressed to anyone, just a white surface, a little damaged on its corners from being kept inside a bag for several hours. Taking a deep breath, he opened it and took the folded piece of paper out. He was able to make out the ink transfer on the back of it, from where the pen was pressed harder in the writing, not wanting to wait anymore, he unfolded the rest of it and gasped at the sight of your handwriting all over the paper.

His eyes wandered from left to right taking in the words, and his throat tightened the more he read. Something was making it impossible to breathe in that very moment, it was guilt. Guilt made his fingers barely hold the letter as his hands trembled, he was almost nauseous, and could almost swear your perfume lingered on the piece of paper on his hands. Your words imprinted were like a collection of all of his mistakes, listed one by one, not explicitly written, but surely reminding him you were always the level-headed, the kind-hearted, and always right.

There was no hatred, or forgiveness, just faith. He read it once, twice, and many times more, and cried quietly for a good ten minutes, clutching the paper to his chest. For once he was glad Oikawa always took forever in the bathroom. “Thank you.” He said to no one, he was alone in that room, yet he looked at the letter, eyes focusing on your signature. “I promise.”

The letter read:

To: Iwaizumi Hajime.

I’ve been thinking about how to start this letter for the past few days, but we are past pleasantries and greetings, aren’t we?

Hajime, the way I spoke to you the last time we saw each other was far from how I wanted to handle this situation, and while I feel guilty for my behavior, I don’t regret a thing I said, perhaps I could’ve used other words, but something about all of this made it impossible to keep my cool. I have an idea of what it is, but it’s difficult to put it into words, but I will try. You kept saying you never wanted to hurt me, that it was never your intention, and maybe some of that is true, but you not wanting to hurt me wasn’t for my sake. It was for yours. Because hurting me meant you would get hurt in the end, too. It took me some time to realize that, so don’t worry if it takes a while to sink in.

You’re unaware, and painfully so, of how much damage you did to me and everyone who got caught into this, because you are stuck feeling sorry for yourself. Admitting you fucked up is not enough, you have to face the consequences, and most of the time said consequences are not going to be pleasant, let alone easy to face.

Maybe you resent me for not forgiving you right away, and believe me, I wanted to, but the fact that you expected me to do it angered me. It made me realize you were not sorry for what you did to me, but for what it represented to you and you only. Forgiving you now would mean absolutely nothing, if nothing within you has changed in two years other than you becoming absolutely unbearable to everyone around you, and it will become a vicious cycle that will keep on hurting you and everyone else who dares to step into your life.

It also hurted me that you ever doubted how much I loved you just because you held some kind of grudge against me. I never meant to be better than you, I wanted to be better together. The bestest version of ourselves, together, and I worked very hard to show you that but you could never see it. Thinking about it, you cheating only made things end faster, because failure was bound to happen if you ever thought I never loved you as much as I did then.

I don’t want that for you. I don’t want your next relationship to fail, I don’t want you to lose all your friends. I don’t want you to be alone, but I can’t forgive you if you don’t forgive yourself and grow out of whatever is holding you back. There’s good in you, Hajime, I know it because I knew you, years before there was an us, we were friends, and I saw you grow up to be a good man, don’t disappoint our fourteen year old selves. This is not an ultimatum, but promise me you are going to work on yourself and try to be happy, not for me, but for your sake, so the next time we see each other we can start again, as friends, and do things right this time. Learn not to live out of spite, Hajime, I swear it’s the best you can do.

Live happily, and I hope to see you better next time we find each other.

With hope at last,

Y/N L/N.

The end.

(a/n: first i want to wish a happy valentines day to all of you. <3 and second of all, that's a wrap! i'm never writing a fic again. just kidding, who knows (i do). also notice how i quoted my beloved will herondale, the loml fr. i want to thank all of you for the endless support and for bearing with my inconsistent ass for the past year, literally love all of you and i appreciate your love for this story that started as a silly fake scenario in my head while i was high on pain meds lmaooo. this project was challenging considering i'm not a native english speaker, and while i'm fluent in it i still struggle with a few things, writing in english is not the same as writing in spanish, but i've seen improvement on my skills, which i'm proud of! i'd be editing the first chapters in the following weeks, and i've been working on the epilogue, so this is not the last thing you'll see of me and l&f. stay safe and drink water!)

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TAGLIST (closed): @aonenthusiast @wiseeggspickleslime​ @koushisun​ @airheadpillar​ @sunflwrsandprettyskies​ @bbkiyoomi​ @daphnxy​ @shephard17895​ @avatarkyoshithewarrior​ @for-rebloggery​ @vv-bee999-vv @fi16ns @asdfghjkl7things @glassykaashi @strawhatshepard @hawkssnugget @msby-kei @toobsessedsstuff @a-moon-fairy @cuteissei @ramblingsofagoofyperson @pinoyrella @kiyoomisimp

[kisskeiji]

10. Wandering Romance.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, descriptions of anxiety.

You never were one to yell, it was unusual for you to burst the way you did at Iwaizumi the day before, the pain in your voice and the angry tears running down your cheeks haunted the trainer the whole ride home. Everyone was used to your calm resolve and monotone voice when you were angry, not even him, after all those years knowing you, was graced with the sight of you and your raw emotions more than once. Did he caused all that or did you became someone he didn’t know anymore?

Your words were like an endless loop in his head as he sat on the dusty couch, his body felt heavy, and he could only stare into space. It took a while for everything to sink in, the damage he did went deeper than he anticipated, it affected him too. And it didn’t matter how many times he tried to get his point across, you were not going to accept his apology, a simple ‘sorry’ wasn’t going to cut it for both of you. Being in each other’s lives would create another cycle of hurt and vengeance. He would be miserable as he watched you build your life with Atsumu, he couldn’t explain the origin of his envy and the ill intentions that bubbled up in the back of his mind.

Your happiness shouldn’t be the reason for his dreariness. He really was fucked up inside, as you said before.

He sighed, basking in the silence of his apartment for a few minutes when the sound of the door opening made him look to his side.

“What are you doing here?” Hanamaki asked, taking off his shoes. “Why are you back so early? I thought you weren’t coming back until next week.”

“Change of plans, I guess.” Iwaizumi said, closing his eyes.

“Are you okay?” His friend inquired, sitting by his side on the couch, he noticed Iwaizumi’s eyes fixed on the ceiling. “Do you want to talk about it?” Iwaizumi looked at the pink-haired man for a second.

“I saw Y/N. I wanted to talk to her and apologize, but I fucked up again.” He ran his hands over his face as the images of your angry face flashed through his memory. “If she didn’t hate me before, I’m sure she does now.” Hanamaki held back a giggle. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, it’s just… You can’t be that dense, dude. I know you, you’re smarter than that.”

“I’m not in the mood for your jokes, Makki, leave me alone.”

“No, no, let’s talk. Because you put us through your lies and their consequences, you hurt us all, caused one of our best friends to avoid us for over a year, you treat us like shit because you are bitter and angry.” Takahiro recounted. “And not happy with making your misery everyone’s problem, you insist on pushing this narrative to redeem your character as if no one knew how badly you fucked up.” He wanted to laugh, out of anger and frustration.

As much as Iwaizumi had fucked up, he was still his friend and seeing him slowly destroy himself hurted Makki just as much. “We told you many times not to bother her, and yet you went out of your way, flew all the way back, leaving your fucking job… just so you can sleep at night?”

“Yes, Makki, that’s exactly what I did. You’re so right, are you a mind reader or something?” Iwaizumi fired back sarcastically.

“Doesn’t take a mind reader to recognize a fucking idiot!”

“I’m done here.” The trainer got up and walked to his room.

“Sure, go hide in your room! See if you can get your head out of your ass while you’re at it.” There was no response after that. They were both done even when their word exchange was short-lived.

Hanamaki was sure he wasn’t the only one deeply hurt and tired of Iwaizumi´s antics. Matsukawa and Oikawa were too, and they didn’t even live in the same city. Truth to be told, he was far more worried about you since Iwaizumi admitted your encounter, of course, you were strong, but by the look of things and his friend’s behavior, you were probably distraught too.

One thing you appreciated about Makki and Mattsun was their bluntness. They always went straight to the point, it took them a while to go back to your old dynamic, but you did nonetheless. He sent you a text after thinking about it for a minute or two.

‘I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it right now, but if you want me to beat him up I can call Mattsun for backup.’

It read. You saw the notification as it lit up your screen and smiled a little. You replied with a quick thank you and left your phone on your nightstand. Surprisingly enough, you felt numb enough not to recall any of the previous events. The only sensation in your body was exhaustion, maybe from all the yelling or for finally getting rid of the weight you carried on your shoulders for almost two years. Maybe both. You took a shower after getting home and went straight to bed for a while to finish the work you brought home since you left early.

Evening turned into night and you forced yourself to have something small to eat even though you weren’t hungry, you knew Atsumu wouldn’t like it if you went to bed with an empty stomach. His voice resonated in your head, berating you for skipping meals. You debated yourself if it was a good idea to tell him about your ‘talk’ with Iwaizumi over the phone or if you should wait until he came back. You didn’t want to throw him off his game by worrying him even more.

‘That’s a problem for future me.’ You thought before turning the lights off so you could sleep.

By morning you felt much better, still tired, but better. Your limbs felt less heavy and your mind wasn’t as foggy, so you went ahead and started with your day as you normally would, you even had breakfast at home instead of the facility’s cafeteria. You were set on having a good day, and nothing was going to ruin it.

But that mindset only lasted for a few minutes, realization sunk in when you parked the car and took off your sunglasses. You sighed, looking at yourself in the rearview, you had enough of that a long time ago, so much had happened since you picked your pieces up, and the ones that were missing were already replaced with new and better ones.

You’d never understand Iwaizumi’s stubbornness to let go, his fixation with the past, and his obsession with fixing the unfixable. Maybe that’s what made you two fall apart, you always had one step into the future while he was stuck three steps in the past, holding grudges. Not a lot has changed since you were with him, and that’s why you were so reluctant to give him the forgiveness he craved so much.

While essentially you were the same person, the lessons you learned in your healing process molded you differently, especially with Atsumu in your life, you learned a very valuable lesson with him. If you can’t see someone in your future, then don’t entertain them in your present, and if someone got stuck in your past, it’s because they weren’t worthy of your future. Of course, he didn’t phrase it like that, it was probably more aggressive, but he got his point across, didn’t he?

The only thing left to do was to move on, hoping it’ll be easier this time.

You walked to your office calmly with your bag hanging under your arm and sunglasses on top of your head.

“Morning, girls.” You said as you entered your section, everyone greeted you back and went back to work. You focused on setting your belongings on your desk to start your day. Going through emails, checking your calendars, and crossing tasks from your ‘to-do list’ as you finished them. About two hours in and a few calls with magazine editors, your body craved some caffeine to keep going.

Yeah, you weren’t so proud of your codependence on caffeine, but your workload required at least two cups of coffee every day. “What happened to our coffee machine?” You asked when you noticed the appliance was missing from the corner you conditioned for your team.

“Inunaki-senshu dared the rookies to steal it.” One of your assistants explained.

“What?” There wasn’t a real explanation for it, the team seniors decided to do an extensive initiation ritual for some reason, it was funny at first, but the ritual was about to hit the month mark, and so far every department in the facility had already suffered from the ravages of the celebration. “Where’s Hideko?” You asked, maybe she could help you out, but apparently she hadn’t arrived yet. You huffed in frustration, taking your radio from your desk to ask if anyone knew where your department’s beloved coffee machine could be. A trail of negative responses made your frustration grow by the second, so you walked out of your office to get it back yourself.

“Inunaki Shion, you have five minutes to give my coffee machine back or I’m posting your birthday pictures on every front page across the country.” You announced through your radio, knowing the trainers and assistants had theirs on them, and that Inunaki had to be near one of them. You clicked the elevator button repeatedly, waiting for the doors to open.

A few staff members replied through their radios, revealing Inunaki’s whereabouts and possible hiding spots. “Here’s another dare for all the rookies, the first one to bring my machine back is not getting their bad shots on the official website.” You threatened as you looked up to see the small screen on top of the elevator signaling there was someone going up to the floor you were currently in. You were really trying to have a good day, but your team wasn’t making it any easier.

“What on earth is going on?” You heard Hideko’s voice from your radio. ‘Finally.’

“They stole my coffee machine and won’t give it back.” You pressed the button on the side of your radio to reply.

“ I’ll be up in a second, but what if I told you I have something better than your coffee machine?”

“Doubt it.” You waited for the particular beep the radio did after every message.

The doors opened but you were still looking up. “What are you looking at?” That voice was familiar, it was the one that wished you good night every day. You immediately looked straight ahead to see your boyfriend standing right in front of you. He dropped his bags before you could say anything, his hands cupped your face gently as he brought you closer to him with a bright smile. “Cat got your tongue?”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, placing your hands on his forearms for stability, he pecked your lips before replying.

“I missed you.”

“But the tournament!”

“I took care of it, don’t worry about it, okay?” He reassured you.

“Miya, you better get your bags before I let go of these doors,” Hideko said, making your boyfriend roll his eyes, you were glad his back was facing her because otherwise, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. He had to let go of you for a second to get his things. “So? Better than your coffee machine, right?” You nodded at her question, smiling. “I’ll go get it back anyway, and I’ll stop that damned initiation Inunaki has going on.”

“Please do before they terrorize the janitors.” You said, making your boss laugh. Once Atsumu finished gathering his things, she got back into the elevator, but with the intention of going down this time. As soon as the door closed, you felt Atsumu’s arms circle around your figure lovingly.

“Let’s go to my office, or do you want to go home first? But you’ll have to stay at my place for a few days, there’s nothing to eat at yours, I had to empty it all out. You should’ve told me, I could’ve at least cleaned a little, it’s probably all dusted.” You were letting all of your thoughts out without noticing. Atsumu kissed your temple and laughed a little. “I’ll give you my keys, so you can go rest at my house.”

“That sounds great, baby, but I was hoping we could talk first, you know?” He said, pulling away and turning you around to look at you. You both knew what he was referring to, but he still tried his best to explain his impromptu arrival. “I came after him, I booked a flight as soon as I could and came straight here to see if you were okay.”

You stared at him, still trying to process what he said. “I’ll tell you all about it, just not here.” He looked around the corridor. Taking his hand on yours, you guided him to your office and closed the door behind you. He settled his bags on the small couch as you sat on your chair, then he walked to your desk. It suddenly felt as if you were being interrogated, concern filled Atsumu’s eyes, the same ones you were trying to avoid as you tried to put into words what happened the day before. He placed his hands on the edge of your desk and leaned a little.

“It’s just me.” Atsumu said, making you look up.

“I know.” You tried to smile. “You go first.” He nodded.

“The night before the opening, he asked me to talk to him and I agreed because I know much this weighs on you even when you don’t say it out loud. I thought that maybe coming to some sort of resolve would help you, but then he started talking, and I swear I never wanted to punch someone so bad in my life.” He said, shaking his head at the memory, you smirked in agreement. “He said a bunch of nonsense, and I had to ground him, I told him he was pathetic and I left.”

“The next morning we were told he had a family emergency and he left. Omi and I thought it was odd so we went to Oikawa. It was great to finally meet him, by the way.” He interrupted himself for a second. “Anyway, he got worried and called Iwaizumi’s mom to see if everything was okay, turns out she was okay and I left right after because I knew he would come after you.” You stared at him for a second, feeling terrible for the situation you put him in.

“He was here yesterday.” You said.

“You talked to him?” You nodded at his question.

“We talked, and I got very angry.” You inhaled before continuing. “He started avoiding details I found along the way through people, and I was so, so mad at him, he was still lying after all this time.” Your throat itched with discomfort, eyes threatening to spill a few tears. “I really wanted to forgive him, you know? But he makes it so hard, and I’m tired of being the bigger person.”

“It would’ve been worse if you forgave him. He’d be the same person, and he’d keep on hurting everyone in his life.” Your boyfriend explained. “You don’t have to forgive him.”

“But I do.” You confessed. “Look, he wasn’t always like this, I’ve known him since we were kids, something’s wrong with him, but fixing it, it’s not up to me.” Atsumu walked around your desk and sat slightly on it before resting one of his hands on your cheek. “I feel like shit, like I’m living in spite of him.”

“And what if you are?”

“It was never my intention.” You stated simply. Giving yourself a minute to breathe in.

You never wanted to hurt anyone with your actions, albeit you did in the end, it was inevitable. You couldn’t describe what was going through your body and mind in that very moment, or the day before when you found yourself letting go of all the anger harbored inside of you, that being honest, you weren’t even aware of its existence, at least not as anger. You never wanted to hurt anyone, you weren’t supposed to, given the decisions you took, you thought it was the best for everyone. For him.

You were told time and time again that you were walking on eggshells, that you were too considerate, too enabling, too forgiving; but the people who judged you never understood that you accommodated for yourself rather than Iwaizumi. Because to bear with a messy breakup would’ve been your last straw, and you knew it. You knew it by the way things played the day before, even after years of working on yourself, your words shot to kill, and killing they did, you were sure of it.

Atsumu said your name softly, running his thumb freely on your cheek. “You are not living in spite of him, you’re just living.” He said. “Whatever the fuck is going through his mind is not your problem, if he wants to keep playing the victim like he has before, there´s nothing you can do about it. No matter how many ways you come up with to explain yourself, he’s always gonna be the saint on his side of the story, the difference is that the people who love you know your character.”

“We know you, and we know there’s truth in what you say, and that there never was malice in what you did.” He was now crouching to be at the same level as you. “You care so much about what he feels to this day, but do you ever stop and wonder if he ever cares about what you feel?” You remained silent. He didn’t.

Hajime could only repeat how sorry he was, and it wasn’t hard to deduce his actions were ridden by self-indulgence. You shook your head, still looking at Atsumu. “Are you hurting right now?”

“What’s with all of these questions?” You tried to laugh it off not wanting to cry at work, again. “Don’t look at me like that…” Your voice pleaded, looking away, he called your name once again. “What happened to princess?”

“Stop avoiding my question.”

“I don’t know, Atsumu. I don’t know what I’m feeling.” You confessed. Atsumu took your hand, tugging slightly to make you stand up, once you did, his left hand traveled to the back of your head, leading you to his chest as you embraced his torso pulling him closer. You sighed in relief to avoid crying, your body aching for your boyfriend’s warmth, hoping for things to fall into place once you were in his arms, at least for a few seconds, because as puzzling as your thoughts could be, Atsumu seemed to understand you better than yourself at times. “I really don’t want to cry at work, Tsumu.” You said, making him laugh a little.

“Sorry.” He kissed your temple. “I love you.” He admitted after a second of silence, you inhaled deeply, taking his scent in, a mixture of fresh laundry and the familiar smell of his deodorant that lingered permanently on him welcomed you, and assured you that you didn’t have to grieve by yourself.

“I love you more.” Your words came out a bit muffled, you planted a small kiss on his chest as a thank you, he reciprocated by kissing the top of your head, basking in the intimacy of the moment, you never noticed when the door opened.

“Sorry to interrupt this beautiful moment, but I found your coffee machine.” You heard Hideko say, curiosity making you break the embrace to look at your boss. She stepped aside to let one of the rookies in, he had orange hair and if you remembered correctly, his name was Hinata.

“Please, Y/N-san, don’t kill us. It was a dare, I swear, they forced us!” He held the appliance from the bottom, desperately explaining himself.

“Shoyo-kun!” Atsumu exclaimed before you could say anything.

“Miya-san?” Hinata went from frightened to confused in a matter of seconds.

“You know each other?” Hideko asked, just as surprised as Hinata when Atsumu walked up to him to shake his hand. Atsumu explained how they met each other in high school and the rivalry between their schools. You smiled at the sight of a happy Atsumu, noticing the awkward position Hinata was standing, still holding the coffee machine, you said:

“You can leave the machine outside, Hinata, I’ll put it back later.” He smiled before walking out of your office. Atsumu looked at you with a small smile. “Go catch up with him, I’ll be here.” He followed Hinata after you said that, leaving you and Hideko alone.

“Do you want to go get Inunaki?” You shook your head, telling her you’d talk with him later, she shrugged and closed the door, now you were by yourself.

For some reason the air felt sharper in your lungs, you wanted to blame it on the air conditioner but you knew that pain well enough to know it was your own body fighting the panic building inside you. Shivering for a moment, you breathed slowly, pulling yourself back together, you still had to endure the rest of the day before coming undone.

‘Suck it up.’

*

Atsumu entertained himself by practicing with the rookies while he waited for you, he refused to go home without you and even tried to lure you out of your office a few times but you told him repeatedly you couldn’t leave early. By the end of the day, he trailed not so patiently behind you as you turned the lights off and locked the doors. You rolled your eyes when he ran to his car with open arms, latching onto the hood, mumbling how much he missed it, he snatched the key from your hand and drove all the way to your house, asking if you took proper care of the engine and if you used the right kind of fuel. He was getting on your nerves, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss his endless rambling.

You helped him carry his bags to your building, discussing what you wanted to order for dinner and instructing him to take a shower before doing anything else because he was clearly tired. He went straight to your room as soon as you were inside your apartment, you heard him rummaging through your closet, looking for the clothes he left there, yelling something about you stealing his favorite hoodie.

Soft music played across your kitchen and living room from the speaker on your counter, you sighed, taking the duffel bag with Atsumu’s dirty clothes to wash them while you waited for your turn to shower. He came out of the shower minutes later, looking more relaxed and cozy. You were almost envious of how comfortable he looked, he pecked your lips before you entered the bathroom and made his way to your living room to rest on the couch. He made sure to put in the order for your food before he let himself drift into a peaceful slumber, his phone on his chest along with his intertwined fingers. He woke up to the feeling of your lips on his forehead and the little water droplets that tingled his chin, he smiled at your proximity and fixed his position on the couch so you could sit beside him.

“We need to change the music or I’ll fall asleep.” He said, running his hand on the bare skin of your legs that rested on top of his. Before you could reply, his phone buzzed announcing an incoming message. It was his brother. “Look at them.” He showed you his screen, displaying a picture of Osamu and Suna in front of the Eiffel Tower. You smiled, trying to ignore the guilt slowly bubbling in your gut.

“You should’ve stayed.” You whispered, playing with the back of his hair. Your friends were probably having a great time, sightseeing and discovering another country, and Atsumu felt forced to leave the adventure behind to be with you.

“Alone, in the city of love?” He asked, looking at you. “Without the love of my life? No, thank you.” You laughed and hid your face from him. “I’m serious! Besides, I missed you like crazy.” His lips pressed against your temple reassuringly. “We can go together for our anniversary.”

“You mean it?”

“Of course I do, I want to travel the world with you.” You kissed his jaw lovingly, feeling your heart heavy in your chest as if it was about to burst.

“Thank you for coming back, you have no idea how much I needed you.” You admitted.

“Almost as much as I needed you.” Adoration pooled in his eyes, and you were sure that you two could keep professing sweet declarations of love if his phone hadn’t buzzed time and time again with pictures and messages from Osamu and Suna. “Are they ever going to shut up?” Atsumu groaned, looking at the screen. The photos were beautiful, Aran and Hana showed in a few of them.

Atsumu told you the team played two matches that day and won both, so most of the team went out to celebrate and rest, the next match was days away. The blonde was more than fed up with his brother spamming his phone, so he dragged you to the kitchen to take pictures mocking the ones Osamu and Suna sent. You laughed at his commitment to striking the same poses as his brother at the same time that he fixed your limbs to imitate the middle blocker.

“‘Tsumu, what are we even doing?” You asked him, amusement in your voice as he inspected the pictures to choose the best one.

“Wait and see.” You saw him opening an editing app when the doorbell rang, and you had to get the food. He was entertained enough to leave you alone to serve dinner and the table, by the time you were done, he showed you the edited photo of you with a stock photo of the same location of one of the pictures Osamu sent as the background. You snorted at your boyfriend’s editing skills, he paid you no mind as he sent the picture to his brother. “That will do it.”

“Do what exactly, ‘Tsumu?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You ask too many questions.” He clicked his tongue before eating the first bite of his meal.

“You love it.” You teased, taking a step closer to his figure.

“That I do.” He admitted, kissing the corner of your lips.

Atsumu spent the rest of the night listening and chasing you around, unable to keep his hands to himself, and it wasn’t like you were complaining. You missed his playful touches and the feeling of his lips on yours.

It wasn’t until you were in bed, secure in his arms and already dozing off that the blonde realized how tired he was, his body slowly melting into your warmth. He heard a soft ‘I love you’ slipping past your lips and he smiled to himself.

Atsumu was grateful because he was able to experience love with you. He never knew he was looking for love until he found you, so he came to the conclusion that he wasn’t looking for love, he was simply looking for you. He knew it was cheesy, but he was convinced you were tied together by some sort of force that drew you to each other. After all the bruises your heart took, you made your way to him and he couldn’t be happier.

He always thought that he was hard to hold on to, that not everyone was up for the challenge of dealing with him and his mistakes, but you showed him how tender love could be, that being taken care of is not necessarily a bad thing, and you loved him as if it was easy, never a burden or too much. You saw right through him like no one else, not even his brother. Never bothered to hear what other people said about him, he was simply Atsumu.

Your Atsumu.

And he’ll continue to be yours for as long as he was able to.

*

Oikawa always wondered how you two became friends. You were so different, yet you complimented each other perfectly. You were rational and he was visceral, you brought balance to his life while he provided you with adrenaline. Always finding comfort in each other’s words, because apparently, you were both always right. He also blamed himself for the situation you were in, he had for months now.

He was there when you met Iwaizumi, he noticed you liked the other even before you realized, and did everything in his power to get the two of you together because if he was honest, the pining was almost painful to watch. He relished the feeling of seeing his two best friends happy together, and at some point he started picturing himself as Iwaizumi’s best man at your wedding, giving the best speech ever and making the two of you cry. He never thought he’d see you and Hajime grow apart, at least not the way you did.

Now, as he waited for Iwaizumi to pick up the phone for the third time in ten minutes, he pondered if he should go off on his best friend for being so stupid or if he should offer a listening ear because he knew his friend was hurting too. It was useless, Iwaizumi never picked up, so he decided to give him some time before trying to call again.

The airport was crowded, as usual, the humidity inside of it had his nose running a little and his eyes were teary and puffy from the lack of sleep. Coming back to Japan unannounced wasn’t his fashion at all, he always thought he’d never come back, but there he was, waiting for Atsumu to pick him up at the Osaka airport.

“You know she’s going to kill us, right?” The blonde said as soon as he got out of his car to greet him.

“Not before she cries.” They laughed, and Oikawa placed his suitcase on Atsumu’s car trunk.

“I can’t believe you didn’t make it to the finals! I was hoping to see your team against mine.”

“Oh, come on, your team was gone well before mine.” Oikawa defended himself. Both Japan and Argentina were out of the tournament exactly one week after it started, giving your best friend time to book a flight to see you as a surprise that would hopefully cheer you up, Atsumu had told him you were fine but it looked like something was bothering you and no matter how hard your boyfriend tried, you wouldn’t budge, you were just keeping it to yourself.

“Don’t get me started, I’m still mad at them.” Atsumu huffed, and Oikawa grinned. The rest of the drive was filled with volleyball talk, as expected from both setters. Atsumu made his way to his apartment where you were currently spending your day off, he had to come up with an excuse to leave his place, he didn’t remember exactly what he said, something about a supermarket run for some items you forgot the day before when you accompanied and helped him restock his pantry after his absence. You were too tired to argue, so you let him go without a question.

The airport was quite far from Atsumu’s house, so he had to drive a little faster than usual, making Oikawa grip onto the handles above the car door every time he took a harsh turn. The brunette was too distracted wondering how did Atsumu got his license when it seemed like he was driving with his feet, that he took a few seconds to realize the car came to a full stop, the sound of the engine slowly turning off made him aware of his arrival to Atsumu’s apartment complex. “We’re here.” Your boyfriend announced.

“You stay here,” Atsumu instructed, making Oikawa stand with his back glued to the wall beside the door. “Just wait.”

Atsumu opened the door and made his way in, resisting the habit of calling your name whenever he made it home. Instead, he waited for you to call out for him.

“You’re back.” You came out of his room, hair messy and subtle marks from the pillows on your cheek. He smiled, you slept well. “What did you forget?” You asked.

“What?”

“You said you forgot to buy something.” You replied, confused by Atsumu’s answer. “What was it?” You asked again, stopping briefly by his side to kiss his cheek hello.

“Uh… protein powder, for my shakes.” He lied, making you frown, you ordered his protein online, even asked him what flavor he wanted, you knew he was up to something but decided not to push further into it, until you looked around and spotted his empty hands. No bag, no container, nothing.

“So, where is it?” Atsumu’s eyes widened at your question. What an awful liar he was…

“In the car! I left it there, I had to use the bathroom really badly. Can you go get it, please?” He didn’t wait for an answer, he was already gone into his room. You rolled your eyes, grabbing his car keys that he previously left on the kitchen counter.

You opened the door as you slid into your sandals, when you looked up to step out, you caught a glimpse of a silhouette from the side of your eye, instinctively jerking your head and taking a step back inside after recognizing the person standing at the door.

“What the hell!” You yelled, immediately covering your mouth. Oikawa smiled at you.

“At least pretend you’re happy to see me.” He joked, stepping closer to you with arms wide open. You embraced him despite the state of shock you were in. Your best friend was right there in front of you, after six long years of being apart, he was there. You could barely comprehend what was going on.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, pushing your body away from him but never breaking the hug. His brown eyes stared into yours, tears welling upon them, your eyes felt wet too.

“Came to see you, dummy. What else?” You hugged him again, tighter this time, as if he was an illusion that could vanish in a matter of seconds.

“How long are you staying? Where are you staying? Do you even have a place to stay? Actually, you can stay here, Atsumu has a guest room I can ask him…” You kept your worried rambling going, words were hard to make out since you were basically glued to your best friend’s chest.

“I don’t think he can answer while you squeeze the life out of him.” Said Atsumu, who was back in the living room, you turned around.

“You.” Your finger was pointed at him. “You are a terrible liar.” Atsumu laughed as you freed Oikawa from your embrace, just to hug the blonde just as tight, if not harder. “Tell me I’m not dreaming, please tell me this is not a dream.” You cried, feeling his large hand running up and down your back soothingly.

“You’re not dreaming,” Atsumu assured. “Oikawa is very much here.”

“I hate you both.” You sobbed even harder after looking at them, making them laugh. You kept crying for a while, even as you helped Oikawa with his bags. Once you calmed down, you sat with them in the kitchen, talking for hours and letting your boyfriend and best friend get to know each other better, heart swelling with joy as they talked.

It was an odd sight, almost inconceivable, you never thought you’d get the chance to see two of the people you loved the most laugh and joke with ease. An instant understanding, something that almost never happened due to their tendencies to push people away, happened between the two, and that made you happy, to be understood was all they ever needed. Stories from your childhood, family dramas, and old memories you swore to secrecy made their way into the conversation, making you laugh so hard it made your abdomen hurt and your throat felt a little sore from the non-stop talking, and still, there were so many things you had yet to talk about.

Late at night, after all of you had enjoyed dinner, Atsumu excused himself since he was feeling tired, leaving you and Oikawa alone in comfortable silence. “Are you going straight to Miyagi, or are you stopping in Tokyo before going home?” You had asked. He understood the reason behind the question.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now…”

“Why not?” You interrupted him. “I’m not a baby, I can face my problems.” Oikawa 's gaze softened.

“That’s not what I meant. All I’m saying is that we’re having a good time, let’s keep it that way.” Your shoulders fell down, weird, you never felt them stiffen.

“You’re right, sorry, it’s just…” You paused. “I know we had put you in the middle of all of this, and that he’s your best friend too. Deep down, I regret the way I spoke to him the other day. A part of me wonders if he’s okay, but on the other hand, I don’t want to know anything about him for as long as I live.” You sighed, looking at your best friend in the eye. “I don’t know what to do, Toruu.”

His hand squeezed your shoulder. “Maybe you do need closure, and you’ve been denying yourself from it.”

“But…” You tried to refute.

“All of this.” He gestured with his finger. “This new life, new love, new you, is not closure.” The same finger touched your chest, right above your heart. “You feel like you can’t go on because the chapter is not really closed. It doesn’t matter how many times you reinvent yourself, rebuild your life, and run away, as long as you keep denying yourself from letting it all out, the chapter will keep going, and the story will repeat itself.” You stared in silence.

“What else is left to let out?” You asked sincerely. “I yelled at him and damned his existence.”

“I believe you’re the only one who can answer that.”

“I hate when you’re right.” You grumbled. “But I really don’t want to see him, I don’t think I can. How am I going to tell him the things I want to say.?”

“A letter, perhaps?” He suggested. “You were always better at expressing your feelings when writing, so write him a letter.” You thanked him for the advice, it was certainly more comforting to receive it face to face than through your phone screen. You hugged your best friend one more time before calling it a night and going to sleep.

You laid in bed, thinking about what you could possibly say to start off the letter. You couldn’t address Iwaizumi as “dear” since he was no longer dear to you. Should you refer to him as Iwaizumi or Hajime or both? Should you address him at all? Maybe just his name on the outside of the envelope would suffice. Regardless of all of that, what were you supposed to say exactly?

Was it an apology or a complaint?

A truce?

A request?

A restriction order sounded tempting, but that’d take longer. You tossed and turned for a little while before falling asleep with an arm around Atsumu’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. You had a little time to think about it, so once again, future you will have to deal with that. For now, you were going to sleep.

*

“Princess?” You heard Atsumu call from outside of the kitchen. “Are you ready? We need to drive Oikawa to the train station.”

“Almost done.” You said, briefly looking away from the piece of paper on the table in front of you. Oikawa stayed for five days, and at the end of every single one of them, you were left thinking about the letter you had yet to write. Crumbled pieces of paper could be found in the trash can, the result of the many times you rewrote your words. You even asked Atsumu if it was a good idea, he only shrugged and kept to himself, not wanting to interfere with your decision, though he agreed with what your best friend said nights before.

After numerous drafts, you settled for your final version just minutes before leaving to send Oikawa on his way to Tokyo. The letter was folded twice, and protected by an envelope in your purse now, as you drove to the station, but now you weren’t thinking about the letter but the fact that you had to say goodbye to your best friend, not knowing when you’d be able to see him again. A knot formed at the bottom of your throat, threatening to come out as a choked sob.

“Thank you so much for coming.” You said before embracing Toruu one last time, he did the same to you.

“Promise you’ll visit me.” He pressed his cheek on the top of your head. You nodded and pulled away from his arm to let Atsumu say his goodbyes. Taking the envelope from your bag, you held it tightly in your hands before handing it to Oikawa.

“Give this to him.” You asked though it sounded more like a plea. Oikawa took it from your hands and nodded to then press a kiss on your temple and board the train. Atsumu and you waved goodbye through the window and waited until the vehicle was gone completely. He placed his arm on top of your shoulders as you placed yours around his waist, walking to the exit.

“I’m proud of you,” Atsumu said out of nowhere, giving him a toothless smile, you hugged him a little tighter. He made a full stop to stand in front of you, his hands firmly on both of your shoulders. Hazel eyes stared into yours with nothing but love. You asked him why, and he kissed your forehead to say: “Because you won.”

“This is not a volleyball game, ‘Tsumu.” You chuckled, him along with you.

“You’re right, it’s a fight.” You looked at him, even more puzzled than before. “You won against your fears, maybe you don’t see it as a victory right now, but you will, with time.”

Light. Atsumu was light. Amidst the darkness of your lowest moments, he shined bright from the minute you met him because he showed you the path to true happiness. You knew you loved him, the way your body reacted to him, and how his presence was enough to make your heart beat faster than usual gave it away, but at that moment, in the middle of the sidewalk outside the train station, you knew happiness was right by his side. Atsumu was the heaven that awaited you after the hell of a journey you had to go through to get to him.

“I think I won way before this.” You admitted, making him raise a brow.

“And why is that?” He asked, amused.

“Because you’re here with me.” He smiled at your response, you knew he was about to call you a sap, so you rushed to say the following words: “I don’t know what comes after this, but whatever it is, I want you by my side.” You took his hand in yours and kissed his palm.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise.” You pulled him in for a kiss. Lips meeting carefully, your hands finding their place on the back of his head as he leaned down to kiss you passionately. For a moment you thanked the fact that the streets were empty, you were pulling quite a show with that movie-like kiss.

“You’re the love of my life too.” You said when you forcibly broke apart to breathe, Atsumu looked at you confused. “The other day, you said I was the love of your life.” You explained. “You are mine, too.” Atsumu kissed you again as soon as he heard those words, you had no time to predict his movements so you could only let out a small gasp before breaking into a fit of laughter as he hugged you with all he had.

“Let 's go home, baby.” He said, and you walked hand in hand to his car, the weight on your shoulders wasn't quite gone but it was lighter, you were somehow free now, and you had Atsumu by your side, so you knew things were going to be alright.

*

Iwaizumi waited at the train station, Oikawa announced his arrival the day before so he could pick him up. It took him by surprise, he expected his best friend to fly back to Argentina, furious and planning to never speak to him again, but when the setter called he felt relieved. Though Oikawa wasn’t completely in his corner, he needed his friend.

The train stopped before him, people rushed to get off of it, carrying bags and long faces from the trip. Oikawa stood out easily with his height, and as soon as Iwaizumi spotted him, he practically ran to him to hug and greet him. “It’s good to see you, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa said teasingly.

“You idiot, I missed you so much.” He smiled.

They took a cab to Hajime’s place, exchanging commentaries about the tournament and how Oikawa planned to get better for the next one, and also how he got along with his teammates. Despite the fact they chatted daily, there was a lot to talk about, things that were worth mentioning twice, details that were left out, and stuff that may not seem like a big deal on the phone. It was like a breath of fresh air for Iwaizumi.

“Where’s your bathroom, I’m dying to take a shower.” Oikawa exclaimed as soon as he got into the apartment.

“Right there.” Iwaizumi pointed to the second door in the hallway. “Left one is hot.” He passed Oikawa his bag and saw him scramble his hands in it to get a clean change of clothes and his bag of toiletries, but instead of heading straight to the shower, he passed Iwaizumi an envelope. “What 's this?”

“A letter.” The setter shrugged.

“From who?” He asked again, but Oikawa was already walking away. “Oi! Who is it from?” He was growing curious about the contents of the letter, but couldn’t help to doubt his best friend a little, was it a prank?

“Just read it,” Oikawa said and closed the bathroom door behind him.

Iwaizumi huffed in annoyance, making his way to the couch to read the mysterious letter. It wasn’t addressed to anyone, just a white surface, a little damaged on its corners from being kept inside a bag for several hours. Taking a deep breath, he opened it and took the folded piece of paper out. He was able to make out the ink transfer on the back of it, from where the pen was pressed harder in the writing, not wanting to wait anymore, he unfolded the rest of it and gasped at the sight of your handwriting all over the paper.

His eyes wandered from left to right taking in the words, and his throat tightened the more he read. Something was making it impossible to breathe in that very moment, it was guilt. Guilt made his fingers barely hold the letter as his hands trembled, he was almost nauseous, and could almost swear your perfume lingered on the piece of paper on his hands. Your words imprinted were like a collection of all of his mistakes, listed one by one, not explicitly written, but surely reminding him you were always the level-headed, the kind-hearted, and always right.

There was no hatred, or forgiveness, just faith. He read it once, twice, and many times more, and cried quietly for a good ten minutes, clutching the paper to his chest. For once he was glad Oikawa always took forever in the bathroom. “Thank you.” He said to no one, he was alone in that room, yet he looked at the letter, eyes focusing on your signature. “I promise.”

The letter read:

To: Iwaizumi Hajime.

I’ve been thinking about how to start this letter for the past few days, but we are past pleasantries and greetings, aren’t we?

Hajime, the way I spoke to you the last time we saw each other was far from how I wanted to handle this situation, and while I feel guilty for my behavior, I don’t regret a thing I said, perhaps I could’ve used other words, but something about all of this made it impossible to keep my cool. I have an idea of what it is, but it’s difficult to put it into words, but I will try. You kept saying you never wanted to hurt me, that it was never your intention, and maybe some of that is true, but you not wanting to hurt me wasn’t for my sake. It was for yours. Because hurting me meant you would get hurt in the end, too. It took me some time to realize that, so don’t worry if it takes a while to sink in.

You’re unaware, and painfully so, of how much damage you did to me and everyone who got caught into this, because you are stuck feeling sorry for yourself. Admitting you fucked up is not enough, you have to face the consequences, and most of the time said consequences are not going to be pleasant, let alone easy to face.

Maybe you resent me for not forgiving you right away, and believe me, I wanted to, but the fact that you expected me to do it angered me. It made me realize you were not sorry for what you did to me, but for what it represented to you and you only. Forgiving you now would mean absolutely nothing, if nothing within you has changed in two years other than you becoming absolutely unbearable to everyone around you, and it will become a vicious cycle that will keep on hurting you and everyone else who dares to step into your life.

It also hurted me that you ever doubted how much I loved you just because you held some kind of grudge against me. I never meant to be better than you, I wanted to be better together. The bestest version of ourselves, together, and I worked very hard to show you that but you could never see it. Thinking about it, you cheating only made things end faster, because failure was bound to happen if you ever thought I never loved you as much as I did then.

I don’t want that for you. I don’t want your next relationship to fail, I don’t want you to lose all your friends. I don’t want you to be alone, but I can’t forgive you if you don’t forgive yourself and grow out of whatever is holding you back. There’s good in you, Hajime, I know it because I knew you, years before there was an us, we were friends, and I saw you grow up to be a good man, don’t disappoint our fourteen year old selves. This is not an ultimatum, but promise me you are going to work on yourself and try to be happy, not for me, but for your sake, so the next time we see each other we can start again, as friends, and do things right this time. Learn not to live out of spite, Hajime, I swear it’s the best you can do.

Live happily, and I hope to see you better next time we find each other.

With hope at last,

Y/N L/N.

The end.

(a/n: first i want to wish a happy valentines day to all of you. <3 and second of all, that's a wrap! i'm never writing a fic again. just kidding, who knows (i do). also notice how i quoted my beloved will herondale, the loml fr. i want to thank all of you for the endless support and for bearing with my inconsistent ass for the past year, literally love all of you and i appreciate your love for this story that started as a silly fake scenario in my head while i was high on pain meds lmaooo. this project was challenging considering i'm not a native english speaker, and while i'm fluent in it i still struggle with a few things, writing in english is not the same as writing in spanish, but i've seen improvement on my skills, which i'm proud of! i'd be editing the first chapters in the following weeks, and i've been working on the epilogue, so this is not the last thing you'll see of me and l&f. stay safe and drink water!)

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[kisskeiji]

9. Where did I go?

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language.

The events from that night left you agitated, you felt as if you were abruptly woken up from a dream and unable to go back to sleep. Things were not going to be the same with Iwaizumi threatening to break everything you worked so hard to build back up. He showed up like a fragment of your deepest fears.

You weren’t scared of him, but you feared what his presence carried along with, darkness. The kind of darkness that suffocates your thinking with fog that never seems to dissipate, and leads you to drown in a sea of self-doubt. Once again, you were living controlled by your fears, the ones you thought you overcame a long time ago, but living without fear is no easy task, and no one truly lives fearlessly until they face and embrace those things that keep us up all night. Maybe that encounter was a signal for you to do it, but you just didn't feel ready.

“Are you sure you are not planning to take a last-minute flight to France and surprise all of us?” Osamu asked, taking his cases out of the trunk of Atsumu’s car, you looked at him for a second, assimilating your surroundings. You were functioning on autopilot and snapped back to reality just now. “‘Cause if you are, you can tell me, no one will know.” Right, they were traveling for the tournament that evening and you decided it was best if you didn’t go.

“Nope.” You laughed it off.

“Are you sure?” He raised a brow.

“Yes, ‘Samu, I’m sure.” You closed the trunk and turned around to see Hana waiting for the both of you. “I couldn’t get off work.”

“That’s bullshit. You have three assistants and we are off-season, and I could’ve paid for your trip if you wanted.” She said, knowing that money wasn’t a problem but another excuse. “You were planning to surprise Atsumu and then backed out.”

“You know why I’m not going.” You sighed, not wanting to fight with her.

“Yes, and I still think it’s stupid.” She pushed her sunglasses back. “Are you really going to stop coming to Atsumu’s games just because your ex is there?”

“I’m not having this conversation today, Hana.” You stated, not wanting to start an argument.

“Or ever.” She muttered, taking her bags to start walking inside the airport, leaving you and Osamu alone.

“Sorry about that.” Osamu looked at you, his lips forming a straight line while you stayed quiet for a second. “She’s just worried about you.”

“I know.” You sighed. “Take care, ‘Samu.” You clenched your fists on your sides and saw him walk away.

Gripping the steering wheel, you drove back to your place, focusing on the road instead of your thoughts and regrets. Atsumu wanted you there, and after all your calls with him you noticed that you weren’t the only one having a hard time. Not only was he emotionally exhausted from worrying about you, but he was also dealing with being possibly benched during the tournament. He thought that having you there would motivate him, but when you broke the news that your absence was definitive he looked heartbroken, but he didn’t say a word about it, and that’s what made you feel even worse about not going.

It wasn’t his fault you were a coward with zero confrontational skills, and still, he understood your motives and your need for space. Of course, his friends and teammates made sure to express their concerns about Atsumu’s attitude the following weeks after the incident since he was not being himself, and spending more and more hours training to cope with his frustration. Sakusa was the most worried out of all of them, so he kept you updated about your boyfriend.

Sakusa had a bad reputation. He was known for being blunt and apathetic, many thought he had no friends and that he was a very closed person, but contrary to popular belief, Sakusa was a good friend. Of course, no one would believe that especially coming from Atsumu’s mouth, but the setter found in Sakusa someone to confide his biggest secrets and concerns, and since you were an important part of Atsumu’s life, he also cared about you.

Since the night of your reencounter with Iwaizumi, Atsumu was restless. Constantly overthinking, distracted, and failing tosses. He was completely out of it. Not only did everyone notice his unusual clumsiness, but they could also feel the tension between him and Iwaizumi. They went from best buddies to strangers in a matter of hours, Atsumu asked for another trainer to assist him in the mornings and avoided Iwaizumi during breaks despite the trainer’s attempts to talk to him. Everyone in the training facility tried to look past the tense atmosphere around your boyfriend and Iwaizumi, which was very hard considering they had to be in the same room all day.

It was even harder when they had to be on the same plane for almost twelve hours, so the opposite hitter made sure that Iwaizumi’s seat was as far as possible from Atsumu to avoid trouble. Lucky for him, the staff stayed one floor below the players at the hotel and Sakusa could rest from his hard labor.

“This is ridiculous, Oikawa, I can’t even be in the same room as him. I just want to say sorry for the stuff I said the other night.” Iwaizumi complained on the phone to his best friend.

“You do realize that what you said is not that easy to forget, let alone forgive?” Oikawa replied.

“Yes, I know, but I’m trying to amend things so I can talk to her next.”

“You're still on that train…”

“Yes, Oikawa, I am. I need to talk to her and clear things up so we can go on with our lives.” Iwaizumi’s sentence was followed by a few seconds of silence from the other line. “What?”

“Nothing.” Oikawa sighed. “It's just that the only one who hasn’t moved on is you, Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi was the one who remained silent this time. It was unfair, he thought for the nth time, how you seemed to be doing just fine and he was still stuck.

“Well, I need this, and I swear after I get my closure, I’ll leave her alone.” He stated.

“Maybe you should consider another way to get your closure, not because you found her it means she’s going to talk to you.”

“We are adults, I think we can get to a middle ground.” He said with flawed confidence. Oikawa clicked his tongue.

“Whatever you do, don’t count me in. You know I’m on her side.” The setter said, making Iwaizumi roll his eyes.

“I know I can’t count on you.”

“Oh, don’t start playing the victim again, I told you then, and I’m telling you now, everything you break, I have to pick up.” He explained.

“I’m not gonna break anything this time, I’ll be civil and make it short, but first I need to get through Atsumu.”

“Good luck with that,” Oikawa said, sarcastically. “I have to go, I’ll see you later.” He ended the call. If he was being completely honest, he found himself wanting to talk to Iwaizumi less and less since your encounter. Hajime called him almost immediately, freaked out, but he sounded almost happy, even after receiving a punch from Akaashi.

You called the next day, voice hoarse, probably from crying, and frightened. Iwaizumi’s ignorance of your feelings and his insistence started turning into something malicious, almost spiteful in Oikawa´s eyes. Not that his friend ever listened, but this time was different. Everyone tried to talk sense into him, but he was set on one goal: talking to you. No one knew what could he possibly be expecting from it, but he was constantly planning and rehearsing his apology.

Oikawa warned you about his intentions, you only nodded. Something in you already sunk in realization, that was relieving to the expecting parties in your feud with Iwaizumi. If it was bound to happen, at least you were somehow ready, even if you weren’t aware of it.

The night before their first match at the tournament, Iwaizumi started working on intercepting Atsumu. Ten minutes. That’s all he needed. So he scheduled Kiyoomi’s gym hours at night, right after Atsumu’s, so he could intersect him outside the locker room. He waited by the door, everyone must have thought he was some kind of creep peeking inside from time to time. “How long does he take showering?” He asked under his breath. He waited another five minutes until Atsumu came out of the locker room, hair wet and a towel thrown around his shoulders.

The setter was surprised to see Iwaizumi waiting for him, but chose not to acknowledge him and walked past him. “Miya, wait.” The trainer called to no avail, so he tried again. “Miya, please, just listen to me for a few minutes, let me explain myself. If you don’t want to help me after I finish, I'll stop bothering you.”

Atsumu stopped walking to look at Iwaizumi. He said nothing, he didn’t have to. “I know you must hate me.” Iwaizumi continued, testing the waters. “But I’m trying to do things right for once.”

“And what makes you think I want to be a part of this?” Atsumu asked, his shoulders were tense despite the hot shower he took.

“You love her.” He said, taking a step closer. “Please, just ten minutes.” The blonde looked away, debating himself if it was worth it, he did love you, and he would be lying if he said he never thought about the benefits of you getting closure. Maybe you’ll be more at peace if you finally put the whole thing behind you instead of sweeping it under the rug. So he said:

“Fine, but not here.” They walked outside the training facility, a few players from other teams were jogging or just hanging out by the door, none of them approached the two, by the look of their faces, they were up to no good. Atsumu leaned on a wall, arms crossed over his chest and brows furrowed. “Ten minutes.” He said, signaling Hajime that his time was counting.

“When Y/N and I started dating, we were inseparable, and she always made me so happy.” He said. “She always cared for me, and I always made sure to look after her, and then I had to leave for over a year when I started college.” Just like the man in front of him, he rested his weight on a lamppost. “It was hard, but we decided to do long distance. The plan was for me to finish my studies overseas, but I missed her like crazy, so I came back and we started living together.”

“We were fine for a while, but she started working overtime along with her apprenticeship, and I took a few extra courses. We were seeing each other less and less, and I was struggling a lot mentally. Being home felt so dull, compared to how happy I was back in America, and it was even worse when the only reason I came back was drifting away from me.” He paused for a second. “I felt pathetic, for being so dependent on her. It used to be the other way around, she used to be the needy one.”

Atsumu’s jaw clenched at the way Iwaizumi referred to you. “After a while, I couldn’t handle it anymore but I didn’t want to tell her, she was already under so much stress and I couldn’t find the words or the time to talk about it.” Listening to himself, Iwaizumi started to realize how stupid he sounded. “So I guess it was partially my fault, for never bringing it up.” He tried to amend.

“The semester before she left, I met this girl, Asui, and we got along very well. We worked together on a few assignments and we spent a lot of time together…” He breathed in, feeling his throat getting drier by the second. “There was a lot of tension between us, and I held myself back from getting closer with her, but one night after finishing a project… it just happened.”

“You never mentioned you were dating someone?” Atsumu asked, raising one of his brows. Iwaizumi shook his head. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t close to anyone in that class, so I never brought it up.”

“But you were close to her.” Atsumu pointed out. Once again, silence reigned, Hajime was so painfully unaware, he never realized how clouded his logic was. “How long?”

“What?” The brunette asked, disoriented by his thoughts.

“How long did you screw with that girl?” Atsumu elaborated.

“A month, maybe. Y/N worked late nights, so we hung out at her place most of the time and I could still get home before she was there.” Iwaizumi paused, refusing to let his walls down. “I know it sounds fucked up…”

“It is fucked up.” Your boyfriend interrupted, making Iwaizumi grow frustrated. “You got it down to a T. Conveniently hiding your girlfriend of years to get all warm and cozy with some random girl.”

“You got it all wrong.” Iwaizumi tried to defend himself, making Atsumu laugh humorlessly.

“I can’t believe how the truth is right in front of your face, and you still can’t see it.” The taller of the two said, now standing properly. “You carefully crafted your love affair, counted every step, predicted every damn outcome, except the one where you got caught.” He stepped closer. “So sure of yourself, high above everyone, even the ones you claim to love.”

Atsumu’s words were harsh and aimed to hurt, his abrasive nature coming through, from the way he phrased his thoughts to the way he stood. He enjoyed the way Iwaizumi attempted to keep his composure, holding back tears and clenching his fists. So easy to read, so easy to take down. Forcibly opening his eyes.

“You lost the best thing you ever had, for what? What were you trying to prove?” He asked knowing there would be no answer from the man in front of him. “How much of a man you were? Pathetic.”

“I know I was wrong, that’s why I’m trying to fix it. I’m pathetic and stupid, and I don’t deserve her forgiveness or your help, but I need to at least try.” Iwaizumi was almost begging at this point. “You don’t know how sorry I am, Atsumu.”

“Yeah, for yourself.” Atsumu scoffed. “You’re sorry because you got caught. Now cut your little act, you are not going to get anything from me with those tricks.” They both looked away from each other, tired of going back and forth with no resolve.

“I’m not going to help you before you ask.” Iwaizumi nodded at the setter’s words. “At least not the way you want me to. I can’t force her to do anything she’s not willing to do. So when she’s ready, I’ll be the first one to tell you.” He explained. “But for now, stay away from her.”

With that, Atsumu walked away, entering the facility and leaving Iwaizumi alone. Well, that just makes things harder for him. He was beating himself mentally for thinking Atsumu would be the easy path to get to you.

“Shit.” He said to himself, walking in the opposite direction from the facility to clear his mind. He was pissed, he never liked people pointing out what he already knew, but did he really? Atsumu’s words echoed in his head and chased him despite how far he was walking from the spot they were minutes before. Everyone he asked for advice told him the same thing: ‘don’t disturb her peace.’

But what about his peace? All the sleepless nights, how worried he was, how alone he felt, the tears he cried… He wanted to be okay too.

He had to admit that the look in your eyes the moment you saw him broke his heart, and realizing it was you who Atsumu talked about with such adoration, broke his. You proved to him once again that you were better off without him, and he was convinced that he needed to talk to you and clear everything up, he deserved that much, and he would walk out of your life after that if that’s what you wanted.

In that precise moment, when he stopped dead on his track, probably one of his stupidest ideas popped up in his head. He turned back, running inside and straight to his room. “What are you doing?” The man he was sharing a room with, one of the physical therapists, asked. “Why are you packing your things?”

“I need to go.” Iwaizumi said, shoving everything he unpacked the day before into his suitcase. “Family emergency.” He lied. “Cover for me, please.”

His body moved before his brain could even process what he was doing. Heading out to the training room to talk to his boss and to get someone to cover for him. He got an earful from the head of the training team but left in the end. He took a taxi to the airport and waited for a few hours to board the extremely overpriced flight back home. He decided to ignore the loud beating of his heart and his shaking legs. This was his last chance, so he was going to get to you before anyone could object.

*

The national team met at their assigned training room early in the morning to get their routines done and replace their tapes. Atsumu laid on one of the beds, his body shivering from the sensation of the cold cream on his thigh, and his arm covering his eyes. It was too early and he was still jet-lagged. “Morning guys, sorry for the wait, I was rearranging the tabs.” The head of training entered the room, stress-ridden and tired. “Please, Iwaizumi had to leave yesterday, so I’ll be working with everyone who was working with him until we get someone from the tournament’s staff to help us.

“Is he okay?” Wakatsu asked as he stretched his arms.

“Yes, he said it was a family emergency and left late at night.” He explained. “But enough of that, we have a match to play today so let’s make it quick.”

Sakusa shot a glance at Atsumu, who was already staring at him in suspicion. “You don’t think he…?”

“No, impossible,” Atsumu answered before second-guessing. “Well, I don’t know, maybe.”

“Isn’t his friend playing too?” Sakusa was talking about Oikawa, Atsumu nodded. “Then let’s ask him.” When the staff finished their bandages, they headed to the courts where the teams were already setting up for their matches. Argentina in the far left of the salon, stretching and running drills. Atsumu spotted your brunette pretty easily, standing next to the net, tossing for his teammates.

“Atsumu-chan!” Oikawa called when he saw the two players walk over to him. It was the first time they met in person, but your boyfriend and best friend got to know each other through your weekly video calls. They got along very well, and you thought they were very much alike, so you were glad but also concerned about the synchrony of their devilish minds. “You should be honored to finally meet me.” Atsumu laughed, taking Oikawa’s extended hand and pulling him in for a short hug.

“In your wildest dreams.” He fired back.

“How did you know?” Oikawa teased before looking at Kiyoomi, who seemed impressed by their odd exchange of greetings. “Hey, I know you. You are the one with bendy wrists!” Sakusa nodded slightly. “Pleasure to meet you.” The ex-captain extended his hand again, Sakusa stepped back and stared at him.

“I don’t do handshakes.” Sakusa said bluntly, leaving Oikawa in an awkward position, retrieving his hand and looking at Atsumu again.

“Okay… So, what are you doing here, I saw the schedule, you guys play until ten right?” The brunette raised a brow.

“Yeah, but I came to ask if you know anything about Iwaizumi. Someone told us he had to leave yesterday. A family emergency, do you know anything?” Atsumu inquired, his tone suggesting his suspicions, and Oikawa catching up right away.

“No, he didn’t tell me.” Oikawa slowly walked towards the bench where he had his bag, grabbing his phone and starting to dial his best friend’s number. “He went home?” He asked before he heard the voice mail saying Iwaizumi’s phone was off. “He must be on the plane right now… I’ll try to get a hold of him later, don’t worry.”

“Text me if you know anything, please.” Atsumu stressed.

“Sure, I’ll keep you updated.” Oikawa reassured him. ‘He wouldn’t.’ Was his first thought, Hajime wasn’t one to make stupid decisions all of a sudden, especially if it compromised his work. But thinking back on his behavior, it was a possibility that he indeed was on his way to talk to you. “Shit.” He whispered. “Please don’t do anything stupid…”

Regardless of their worries, they still had to play. They were already on their second and last match of the day, Atsumu played three sets before switching with Kageyama. He was exhausted from the previous match, and his muscles were cramping. While he sat on the bench, an ice pack on his shoulder, he saw Oikawa standing by the door, waving his hand. He got up and told the assistant coach he needed the bathroom. Once he was with Oikawa, they walked out of the court and near the bathrooms. “You talked to him?”

“Not quite.” Oikawa sighed. “I called his mom, to see if she was alright. He doesn’t have many close relatives, so she was the only one that could be in trouble.”

“And?”

“She’s doing perfectly fine.” Oikawa’s lips formed a straight line. Their assumptions were true.

“That son of a bitch…” Rage filled Atsumu’s eyes, fists going numb from how hard he was clenching his fists. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Oikawa followed your boyfriend as he stomped his way to the gym. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going home, I can’t get there before him, but I can be just in time to beat the shit out of him.” He pushed the doors and walked in, the brunette still behind him.

“What about your team?”

“They’ll be fine, they have Tobio.” Atsumu assured.

“Then I’ll go with you.” Oikawa insisted.

“No, you stay here and play. I’ll be fine, but I need to leave now.” Suna was able to hear the last part, coming from Atsumu’s lips.

“What? You’re leaving?” The long-haired man asked. “You can’t leave now, you must be kidding.” At the blonde’s lack of response, his demeanor changed completely, he was now worried. “Wait, are you serious?” Suna looked at Oikawa, who could only shrug in frustration.

“Coach, I’m leaving.” Atsumu announced when he finished gathering his belongings.

“Where do you think you are going, Miya? The match’s not over yet.” His coach reprimanded.

“Home. It's an emergency.” He stood in front of him.

“Is everything okay?” The coach toned his voice down a little.

“My girlfriend got in trouble and she has no one in the city.” He partially lied.

“Then go, but I’ll keep this in mind for the next season.” Relief ran momentarily through Atsumu’s body. He got lucky this time. The rest of his teammates kept asking questions, but he avoided them all, saying he would explain later. Osamu saw his brother leave the gym fuming, so he followed him.

“Oi, what’s your deal?” The gray-haired twin yelled from a distance, trying to catch up with his brother.

“That asshole left last night behind my back.” Atsumu snarled under his breath.

“Who?” Osamu was very lost.

“Iwaizumi! Who else?” Atsumu was exasperated, his speed making his breathing heavy. “He flew back home last night, he wants Y/N to listen to him. Tried to talk me into helping him, and when I said no, he got mad and left.”

“You are going after him?”

“What do you think I’m doing, ‘Samu? Of course I am, and don’t say you’ll come with me. You stay here, and I’ll call you when I get there.” Atsumu settled. This was no one’s business, not even his, but he swore he’d never let Iwaizumi hurt you again.

The airline had a field day with their second last-minute ticket to Japan sold in less than twenty-four hours. Atsumu was lucky enough to have a sponsorship with the same airline, he waited at the V.I.P lounge for a couple of hours before boarding. He left a few of his belongings back in his hotel room, he asked his brother to pick them up and bring them back when they returned later the following week as they scheduled in the first place, he had half the mind to think about anything other than to get to you on time.

*

“Y/N, there’s someone outside who insists on seeing you.” One of your assistants announced, standing by your door. You twisted your mouth in annoyance, you were about to leave for your lunch break.

“Do you know who they are?” The girl shook his head.

“Never seen him in my life. Do you want me to tell him you’re busy?” You smiled at her proposition and sighed.

“No, let him in. It’s better if I get over with it quickly.” She nodded and left to call the unknown man that waited outside. You hid the container with your food on your top drawer and sighed again in defeat. You were really hungry. You heard the door open as you took your glasses from your desk. “Sorry for the wait, so how can I help you?” You finally looked up, eyes adjusting to the magnified view of your glasses. Your heart almost stopped when you recognized the figure in front of you.

“I honestly don’t know, never thought I’d get this far.” Hajime smiled awkwardly. “Hey.”

“Hi.” You cleared your throat. “What are you doing here? Isn’t the team playing abroad?” You asked, clearly nervous from his presence.

“Came back early, I needed to talk to you.” He explained shortly.

“How did you find me?” You mentally slapped yourself, it was obvious.

“I connected the dots, Atsumu told me you worked with his team, I just looked for the facility…” He paused, heart threatening to come out of his mouth in any second. He swallowed his nervousness and asked: “Can we talk?”

You analyzed your possibilities. You had none, it was a dead end. No escaping route this time. So after a few seconds of piercing silence, you nodded. “Yes, but not here.” Your words made him recall his talk with Atsumu hours ago. You stood up from your chair. “Follow me.”

He did. Walking slightly behind you as you walked through the hallways of your workplace, looking for the nearest exit. He noticed your stance and demeanor, you were tense but your chin was still up. You waved to every one that passed you by, trying not to look at the man behind you. You guided him outside the training center, to the small café across the street that opened a few months ago. He ordered water, you kept to yourself.

You weren’t staying for long.

“It’s been a while.” He affirmed.

“It has.” Was your answer. “I suppose you want to explain yourself.” You fidgeted with your bracelets under the table, fingers grasping the charm Atsumu gave you for your first month. You traced his initials engraved in it for comfort.

“I do.” You nodded at his response, signaling him to start, expecting nothing and everything at once.

So he did. He narrated everything he did and didn’t do. How he felt when he came back from America, stressing and promising he never had other women while he was away, how he felt pathetic and needy, and lastly how he found Asui. You stopped looking at him two minutes into his explanation, staring into space, but still listening intently. Every word spilled from his mouth furthered your disappointment. You remembered everything Asui told you, and comparing their stories, you could tell he wasn’t missing many details, except the ones that mattered.When he finally stopped talking, you asked:

“And why did you hide the fact we were dating? Your classmates worked at our place once or twice, what did you say, that I was your roommate?” You noticed his eyes widening at your questions.

“I wasn’t close to anyone in that class, only Asui.” He hesitated.

“She didn’t know about me either.” You mused. “She told me.”

“She talked to you?” You nodded slowly, still not looking at him. “I’m not going to excuse my actions, Y/N, I know I was wrong.”

“Then why did you do it?” You spared him a glance. He puffed his chest, not sure of what he was going to say next.

“I don’t know… I guess I just felt like you didn’t love me anymore.”

An involuntary laugh left your mouth. Was he being serious? After all you did for him, he thought you didn’t loved him?

“You’re such an asshole.” You muttered in disbelief.

“I’m sorry.” He looked down. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. But you didn’t need me anymore, and I missed the feeling of being wanted. You were so immersed in your job and school, we barely spent time with each other.”

“Please.” You stopped him. “Shut up, Iwaizumi, you’re making it worse.” Furious, that’s what you were. “You’re unbelievable.” Your change of demeanor shook him. Maybe you weren’t so willing to forgive him.

“I know…”

“No, you don’t.” You interrupted. “You really don’t. You did all of this because you couldn’t communicate with me?” No response from him. “I was too immersed in my fucking job because I was saving money to buy plane tickets to California… I wanted to spend our anniversary there, and I wanted it to be special. I looked after myself because you were busy too. I exhausted myself so we could have a future together, Iwaizumi.” You ran your index finger under your eyes to get rid of the stray tears that escaped your eyes. “Of course I wanted you. More than fucking anything.”

“I wanted to make you proud.” A pause was necessary, you needed air. “You didn’t want me. You wanted a helpless girl to feed your fucking ego; and you more than anyone know, that I’ve never been helpless.”

Never were, and never will.

“You did all of this because you wanted to hurt me.” You dropped a bomb on him.

“What? No, Y/N, hurting you wasn’t my intention.” He rushed to amend.

“You tried to make me miserable, and feel what you were feeling, because between you and me. You are the helpless one, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi’s body felt on fire, humiliation making his ears burn red. “If that’s everything you have to say, then I’m leaving.” You announced getting up.

“Wait, no, we haven’t fixed this yet.” He tripped with the table as you walked across the street. He held your arm, stopping you from entering the parking lot. “Y/N, please, I’m begging you.”

“You are hurting me.” You said, snatching your arm away from him.

“You don’t know what I’ve been through, Y/N, all those years have been hell for me.” He tried to tower over you, and even if you were scared of his much bigger figure, you weren’t letting down.

“Really? You think it was any better for me?” You laughed in his face.

“Well you don’t look so sad, you got over me pretty fast don’t you think? You must be very happy with your hotshot boyfriend, while I was worried sick for you.” You paused after hearing his words, rage numbing your senses. He regretted that instantly, but he was angry now, too.

“No.” You choked out, tired of keeping your composure. “Get out of here, now. You don’t get to say shit like that, Iwaizumi. You don’t get to judge me, and you don’t get to disrespect me like that.” You started walking away, but he stopped you again, making you turn around to see him.

“You left without a word, playing your stupid hide and seek game, no one heard from you for months. You can’t keep avoiding this, Y/N, this is ridiculous!” He dared to yell at you, so you snapped, pulling away from his touch.

“Wanna know what’s ridiculous? That I moved to another continent and avoided you for as long as I could because I didn’t want to see your face ever again, and you still don’t get the fucking hint.” You were breathing heavily, his presence was nauseating. “That’s ridiculous.” You emphasized. He remained quiet, only feeding your fury with his sorry expression.

“Nothing to say now?” You asked, all your frustration and pain turned into pure venom. “If getting my life back together with someone that respects me is enough for you to insinuate I’m easy, then so be it, but I might just need to remind you that you were the one who cheated in our relationship. You brought this upon yourself the day you decided to lie to me and everyone around you, because that’s what you are, Iwaizumi.” He looked at you, waiting for your next words.

“A liar that couldn't keep up with his own show, thinking everyone would just play along with it, you are so full of yourself you think you deserve forgiveness only for you to be able to sleep at night.” You wiped your tears with a quick movement and continued. “I’m not a situation you need to handle, believe me, I was doing great without you, and the last thing I need is your apologies. I have my life figured out this time, and I’m happy because you aren’t in it.”

“Hate me all you want, Y/N, but we need closure. Please, let’s put an end to this.”

“No, you need closure. I got mine a long time ago, and it’s not my fault you couldn't move on. I don’t look to our past anymore, and I’m tired, so, so tired of running away. I walked away because I didn't had the mind to go through it at the time, and when I left I still tried to protect you and your name, I lost almost all my friends, left everything behind, all because of you.” You spat. “And still I couldn't bring myself to hate you.” Iwaizumi’s expression softened.

“But now, you don’t know how much I wish I did. You didn't deserve any of my sympathy, too bad it took me years to realize that.” You stepped back, but not away. “It took me over a year to open up to someone else and I was lucky enough to find Atsumu, and I’m not going to let you take that away from me.”

“I’m not forgiving you, because it’s not going to do the wonders you think it will. You need help, professional help because you’re fucked up inside. I’m sorry for whoever had to deal with you all these years and you don’t know how glad I am to be free from you.” Thick silence filled the space between you two. Iwaizumi in his most vulnerable state, and you, burning red.

“Goodbye, Hajime. I really hope you find peace.”

You walked away. Notifying security to not let him enter again through your radio, once inside you spent a few minutes in the bathroom, collecting yourself and thinking what to do next. After that, you decided to leave early, you were exhausted.

When you found yourself alone in Atsumu’s car, you screamed with everything you had. Even after the monologue you recited in front of Iwaizumi, you felt frustrated, dizzy, dirty, and humiliated. You drove off in silence.

You couldn't say you were surprised by Iwaizumi’s insincerity, there wasn’t any trace left of the man you once knew, the one who was your friend before being your lover. When did he lost himself like that? You had so many questions left unanswered, they were irrelevant now.

It was a one-man act. He excelled in his role as the victim, but no crowd ever applauded. You felt sorry.

For not confronting him before. ‘This could've been prevented.’ You thought and took it back immediately. You weren't responsible for him, not anymore.

It was the end of your story together. The only thing you were sure of, is the people you wanted in the next chapter of your life, and Iwaizumi wasn't one of them.

(a/n: chapter nine is finally here, damn this one was a bitch to write. sadly, chapter 10 is the last one. i'll try not to take six months to write it. a year ago i posted the first chapter of this fic while i was in bed rest after an accident. it started as something silly i wanted to document because i had the plot and several scenarios in my head. i never thought people would like it, and i'm very thankful for your patience and support. i say this now and not in chapter 10 because tomorrow it's l&f's first anniversary! yes, it's a crime to take over a year to finish a fic, but i know, but this is a big thing for me, it's the first fic i finish in over 4 years. and it's all thanks to you guys, thank you for giving me a reason to keep writing. i'll do my best to post chapter 10 before october ends. love y'all!)

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#atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #haikyuu!! #iwaizumi x reader #miya atsumu #msby atsumu #msby black jackal #atsumu fluff #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi x you #hq iwaizumi #hq atsumu #iwaizumi headcanons #hq imagines #hq fluff

[kisskeiji]

8. Don't watch me cry.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, mild violence (like one punch), idk anxiety.

changes were minimal, but they are there.

“You won’t believe what I found on sale!” Iwaizumi heard your voice from the entrance. You took off your coat and walked in with a few paper bags in hand.

“I hope it’s not another plant.” He said meeting you halfway to help you carry the bags to the kitchen after kissing your temple as a greeting. You rolled your eyes following behind him.

“I had to! The lady from the store said she was planning on throwing it away! But look at her.” You took the plant out of the bag.“She just needs a little water and sunlight.” You mumbled, grazing your fingers on some of the half-dead leaves. “Maybe a new pot, this one doesn’t look like it has good drainage.” You lifted the pot to inspect the holes at the bottom.

“Whatever you say, baby, but where are you going to put it?” He now trailed behind you as you made your way to the biggest window of your apartment where some of your other plants and flowers were, moving a few pots to make room for your latest acquisition. “There’s not enough space.” He deadpanned, but you somehow found a way to fit the plant in the limited space.

“What’s for dinner?” You asked walking back to the kitchen, leaving him behind.

Iwaizumi recalled the memories as he walked past the flower shop you used to frequent. He never knew where your obsession with house plants came from, you just started buying them one day and suddenly your apartment was filled with succulents and ferns hanging from the ceiling — that you insisted on hanging by yourself — bringing life to the place. He always pretended to be annoyed every time you came home with a new pot in hand, but in reality, he found endearing the way you took care of your plants, the time you invested, and all the research you did to be a good ‘plant mom’ like you called yourself.

He smiled to himself as he bowed to the old lady that owned the shop. Suddenly, the pictures from the night he came back home and your things were gone replayed in a flash making him shudder. Your plants were gone too.

The apartment was a sad shade of greyish blue, with only one lamp in the living room illuminating the place. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks without him even noticing. He never thought your absence would take away the light out of his life. His days became just as grey as the apartment without you, but it wasn’t like he could complain. His unfaithfulness never was a foolish mistake, he put thought to it. He planned how to work out his affair and your relationship carefully after the first date with Asui because he liked the attention. It was despicable, really, but the truth always comes through.

You were always stubborn, insisting on doing things by yourself and never asking for help, always giving more than you could, but sooner or later you would come to him, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and he was the only person you ever asked for advice because you trusted him. Even when your relationship started to grow distant, your trust was never in doubt. He never deserved it in the first place. Every week it seemed like you were busier and busier, barely spending time with him, pretending like you were doing just fine, but he seemed to be blind to your tiredness, and to only care for his selfish needs.

He started holding a grudge against you.

You were stronger, you worked harder and you were always more clever than him, always figuring things by yourself, you didn’t need him as much as he needed you. As old-fashioned as it sounds, he hated that you were the dependable one in the relationship, he was truly lost without you, even when your presence was scarce the last months you were with him, you always found a way to be there for him.

He hated that you were still you without him, but he wasn’t complete without you.

When he thinks back his stomach turns at his stupid reasoning, too bad he had to lose you to figure that out. He deserved your contempt, but his pity party needed to end. He still had to move on with or without you. He graduated and furthered his education to become an athletic trainer. He did internships with professional teams, his name was recognized and everyone anticipated his graduation to hire him. He was doing great, but his accomplishments felt bittersweet when you weren’t there to celebrate with him.

He had to snap back to reality to cross the street, his destination was ahead of him. He was chosen to be part of the assistant athletic trainers for the national team thanks to his academic performance, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so he had to turn down many offers to work with private clubs to join the national team’s medical staff. You would be proud of him.

In the meantime, he was focusing on learning as much as possible and living up to the promise he made to Matsukawa to get over you, but how could he when you were everywhere? From his morning coffee to his late-night thoughts, you were always on his mind.

You wouldn’t want him to see him like this, defeated, disconnected, and stuck to what once was, so he kept going. Hoping that deep down, you still wished for him to be alright.

He entered the training room and left his bag on his station after greeting the other assistants and the head athletic trainer. He took his clipboard from the counter to check the recovery programs for the athletes that were coming in that day.

“National team starts training today for the Nations League tournament.” His boss announced, making Iwaizumi look up from his papers. “Most of them are coming with pre-existing injuries, the usual; knees, shoulders, and hips.” He listed as he walked to the door. “Their medical records are on your desks, check them out and keep an eye on them.” Everyone nodded, and the head trainer pointed at Iwaizumi. “You are coming to practice with me.”

Iwaizumi gathered the equipment he would need, leaving his coworkers alone. Ice-packs, tape, and his first-aid bag were placed on a bench by the sidelines of the court. Some of the players were already warming up individually and the ones missing were in the training room getting taped or still changing in the locker room.

“There’s a lot of new faces.” He heard his boss say. “I heard these newbies are on another level.”

“Really?” Iwaizumi looked around, finding some old acquaintances from his high school days, like Ushijima and Kageyama.

“Monster generation.” The head trainer said mockingly. “Because they are a monstrous pain in the ass, they are all coming injured.” He exclaimed, making Iwaizumi laugh. By the time they had everything ready, one of the coaches blew the whistle, and everyone gathered around for a welcome speech. The coaches introduced themselves and the medical staff, but Iwaizumi felt something off, he turned his head to find Bokuto glaring daggers at him.

‘This can’t be real.’

A blonde guy tapped Bokuto’s shoulder to ask what was going on with him. Bokuto stopped looking at Iwaizumi, blurting his response to the guy, —who Iwaizumi recognized from one of the records on his clipboard as Miya Atsumu— walking away with his jaw clenched. To Iwaizumi’s luck, Bokuto ignored him for the rest of the day and practice went on relatively easy. It wasn’t like Iwaizumi was scared of Bokuto, he just wanted to avoid an unnecessary scene in front of everyone.

Bokuto on the other hand still felt the same way about your ex-boyfriend but avoided conflict for you. A week went by and still, nothing happened between the wing spiker and the athletic trainer, except for the obvious tension between them when they had to work together. For some reason, Bokuto forgot to tell Atsumu the truth about Iwaizumi, but it wasn’t a big deal since their interactions were limited to the training room.

One week down, six more to go.

What no one expected was Atsumu getting injured mid-match. Things were already going bad for Atsumu that day, he woke up late thanks to Suna, who thought it was hilarious to turn off his alarms the night before. The dorm ran out of hot water, he barely made it to breakfast, and his uniform was still damp when he tried to put it on. From his position as a setter to his daily, and endless self-care routine, one thing was certain about him, he loved control; and while not everything could go his way all of the time, that day felt like the universe was laughing at him.

The team teased him relentlessly for how hard he was smashing the balls during drill training, he was practically fuming but kept going. After a quick break, all the players were divided into two teams to play three on three matches before cooling down. Atsumu was playing with Wakatsu and Komori; it started as a friendly match, but they were going against Kageyama, and Atsumu’s competitiveness quickly took over him. Both teams were at their peaks, despite it being a practice match.

“Slow down, Miya!” Komori shouted from the back of the court while they all waited for Kageyama to serve. Atsumu grinned, making eye contact with his rival through the net. They were playing for their match point and Atsumu ran to the front to set the ball, right after Komori received the ball with his inner arms. ‘Too low.’ He thought before bending backward and squatting for one of his low sets, right leg completely stretched to the side. He fell on his butt as soon as his hands made contact with the ball, sending it up high for Kiryu to spike one last time, the ball hitting the floor with full force. They won. Atsumu smiled and an airy laugh left his mouth in relief, it wasn’t until he tried to stand up that he felt a sharp pain on his inner thigh.

His teams rushed to help him when they saw him wincing in pain, but he couldn’t stand up. “Your thigh again?” Kiyoomi asked from the other side of the court. Atsumu nodded and held his right leg, applying pressure to relieve his pain.

“Give him some space.” Atsumu looked up and found Iwaizumi setting his bag next to him. “Let me see.” The athletic trainer said as Atsumu removed his hands. “How long have you had this injury?” Iwaizumi adjusted his gloves.

“Last season, but it only hurts when you… Ah!” Atsumu’s face contorted at Iwaizumi’s touch. “Touch it.” He finished.

“I need to get a better look.” Iwaizumi affirmed. “Bring the wheelchair and let’s get him to the training room.” Iwaizumi ordered. Wakatsu and Kageyama helped Atsumu to get on the wheelchair against his will. Once he made it to the examination bed, many of his teammates stopped by to check on him.

“Please, don’t call her,” Atsumu said to Bokuto and Suna with pleading eyes. “I’ll be okay in a few days, right?” He asked Iwaizumi, who roamed around the room looking for his records.

“Oh, yeah. He’ll be good to play with two or three days of rest.” The trainer assured the volleyball players.

“See? There’s no reason to tell her, she’s really busy right now and I don’t want her to worry about me over nothing.” Atsumu noticed the guilty look on Bokuto’s eyes. “You already called her, didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry! But Ojiro-Kun and Suna insisted!” The gray-haired man apologized.

“Sorry, Miya, but she was going to find out one way or another. They send your records to your team every week.” Suna explained, making Atsumu sigh. “She’s going to call you, so be prepared.” The middle blocker walked closer to his friend and patted his shoulder in an attempt to encourage him. “We have to go, we don’t want to disturb Iwaizumi-san while he works.”

“See you later, Tsum-tsum!” Bokuto said before leaving with Suna.

“Who were you talking about?” Iwaizumi asked as he sat on the nearest chair.

“My girl, she’s not going to be happy about this.” Atsumu said and looked at his thigh.

“That’s what you’re so scared about?” Iwaizumi giggled as he applied cold cream to the affected area.

“I’m not scared! I just don’t want to worry her, she’s really busy right now.” He explained. “She works with my team and some sponsors are at her throat lately.”

“She must be stressed.” Iwaizumi massaged Atsumu’s thigh, earning soft grunts from the blonde. Atsumu’s phone started ringing. “I need to get some tape from the storage room, I’ll give you some privacy.” The trainer said before getting up.

Atsumu waited for Iwaizumi to exit the room to pick up. Soon enough your face appeared on his screen.

“I just saw Bokuto’s text, are you okay? Is it your thigh again?” You said as soon as he picked up.

“Hey, princess.” He offered you an apologetic smile. “How was your day? I missed you a lot today.” He avoided the question.

“Stop avoiding the question, Atsumu. Are you okay?”

“Yes! It’s just my thigh again.” He said. “I did a low set and the muscle strained again. But my trainer said I’ll be fine in a few days, don’t worry about me.”

“Don’t worry about me.” You repeated mockingly. “One week and you are already hurt, you need to be more careful, Tsumu.” You said. He assumed you were walking to your —his— car since he could hear the clacking of your heels. “Does it hurt?” You asked, concerned.

“If I say yes, would you kiss it better?” He wiggled his brows.

“No.”

“It was worth the try.” He sighed. “It hurts now, but they are taping me, so I’ll be okay.” He heard the alarm of the car, and the lighting on your frame turned dark. You were still walking.

“Promise me you’ll be more careful.” You entered the car, propping your phone on the steering wheel in front of you.

“Promise.” He held his pinky, making you roll your eyes at his childishness. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Tsumu.” He relaxed at your words. Despite only being one week since he left, he missed you like crazy. Especially since your relationship was still new, he wanted nothing more than being by your side, but his career was first and you both knew that. “I’ll call you once I get home.”

“Take care of my baby.” He teased. “You are not the best driver, princess.” You twisted your mouth, holding the phone closer to your face.

“I’m gonna key your car.” You warned.

“No, you won’t.” He giggled. “But for real, drive safe.” You said your goodbyes, and he smooched his screen playfully to make you laugh before you could end the call.

Unbeknownst to Atsumu, Iwaizumi waited outside of the training room. He couldn’t stop himself from eavesdropping on the setter’s call. He thought he was dreaming when he recognized your voice, but what were the odds that it was really you? It was nearly impossible, so he brushed it off. As he walked into the room, Atsumu locked his phone and placed it on the side of the bed. “Everything alright?” Atsumu nodded, adjusting himself so he could sit.

“How long have you been together?” Iwaizumi asked, attempting to keep the small chat going.

“A few months.” Atsumu inhaled sharply as he felt the alcohol-drenched cotton pad on his thigh. “Best three months of my life.” He smiled, looking away. “You have a girlfriend, Iwaizumi-san?”

“Not really.” He stopped for a second to gather his thoughts. “Got dumped a few years ago.” Atsumu clicked his tongue.

“That’s tough.” The blonde said, earning an airy laugh from the man in front of him.

“Yeah, I deserved it, though.”

“But what happened to them?” Iwaizumi only shrugged. “Come on, you don’t know?” Atsumu insisted.

“Nope. I haven’t seen her since we broke up.” Since she left him.

“Well, at least you don’t have a shitty ex.” Atsumu made a joke.

“Let’s say I am the shitty ex.” Iwaizumi sighed. “Not over her yet.” Atsumu twisted his mouth, making Iwaizumi shrug again. There was nothing else he could tell Atsumu, it’s not like he wanted everyone to know he was a cheater.

“Damn.” Atsumu paused for a second. “Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Iwaizumi stood up. “You are good to go, you should be able to walk, but it’s going to hurt, come see me tomorrow morning to start your treatment .” He helped Atsumu to get off the bed to walk him to the door when he noticed the setter’s phone still on the bed. “Wait, your phone.”

The screen turned on, reacting to the movement of Iwaizumi lifting it from the bed. He stopped for a second, looking at Atsumu’s lock screen. He felt his fingers tremble when he saw a picture of you, sitting on a picnic towel with your hair tied and lovesick grin, right next to Atsumu, who kissed your cheek lovingly.

“Thank you, I almost forgot it!” Atsumu said, taking his phone from the trainer’s hand. “See you tomorrow.” Iwaizumi was left alone with a thousand questions in the training room, the only thing he could do was list what he knew.

It’s been almost two years since you —dumped him — broke up. You were back in Japan, only a couple hours away. You and Atsumu were dating, and you were completely over him. Ouch.

You had your life figured out without him, again, but with Atsumu this time. Atsumu. Was he supposed to tell the setter that he was the ex-boyfriend you probably talked shit about? No way, not when he was supposed to work along with him for the next month or so. He had two options, wait for Bokuto to tell Atsumu or try his best to ignore the fact that he was cohabiting with the man that is currently dating you, the love of his life.

Maybe he’d do things your way, and run away from confrontation.

*

Once in his room and after a well deserved —still cold— shower, Atsumu called you. He brushed his teeth while you ranted about your day. His hair was wet and his lower half was barely covered by a white towel. “They what?” He asked with wide eyes, and mouth full with his toothbrush.

“They asked us to get the profiles and schedule the press conferences by next week!” You covered your face with your hands in distress. “I’m going to die.” You exhaled deeply, looking at the ceiling.

“That's insane! But you got this, babe. Hideko-san and you always show those scrubs what the team is made of.” He said after rinsing his mouth. “Who do they think they are anyway? Threatening to stop sponsoring the team.” He huffed. “It’s not like we need them.”

“We do need them, they are one of our principal investors. Our hands are tied.” You explained. “But enough of that, I don’t want another headache. Tell me about your day.”

Atsumu went on a long rant about how horrible his day was, complaining about Suna and the rest of his teammates, and how he won against Kageyama again. You laughed at him for his very one-sided rivalry with the black-haired setter, but he kept recalling and bragging about his past victories. All of that as he finished his nighttime routine. “Then my thigh started hurting and I had to get patched up.” He finished his story. “Wanna see?” He said, holding the hem of the towel teasingly.

“Don’t be gross.” You covered your eyes, hearing him gasp.

“I’m anything but gross!” He exclaimed. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, princess.”

“I don’t wanna see it now, pervert.” You slowly removed your hands from your face. He played with the end of the towel, threatening to take it off a few times; both laughing soundly. He stopped when his abdomen started to hurt, leaning his weight on the wall behind. “You’re an idiot.”

“Me? You are an idiot.” He looked at you through his blonde hair strands.

“I got it from you, it’s contagious.” You fired back, making him sigh and shake his head.

The past three months with Atsumu were filled with laughter, constantly learning from each other how to work together. Every day you learned something new about him, like how he couldn’t drink coffee to save a life or that he loved organizing his closet and that he was scared of chewing gum because Osamu once told him if he swallowed it, it would go straight to his brain. The list was endless, but all those little habits, facts, and quirks made you love him even more. You came to the conclusion that you could never get tired of being around him, and that being apart felt like torture.

“Stop staring, weirdo.” He said as he slipped into his clothes.

“I’m not staring, I’m thinking.”

“I can tell, there’s smoke coming out of your ears.” He joked and you laughed humorlessly. “I forgot to ask you earlier. Are you coming with me to the tournament?” You frowned.

“I don’t know yet. I can’t leave my job for two weeks, let alone afford the trip to France.” You said.

“Even ‘Samu is going, you still have a few weeks to convince Hideko-san.” He brushed back his hair with his fingers. “And who said you’re paying for it?”You rolled your eyes at his insistence, you hated when he tried to spend his money on you. His friends had to stop him from buying you a car on your first month anniversary.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“You got a rich boyfriend for a reason, babe.” He finally walked out of the bathroom.

“I’ll use my rich boyfriend benefits when I need them.” You laid on your side, waiting for him to do the same.

“Whatever you say, but I really want you to come with me.” He pouted.

“I’ll see what I can do.” You said, hopefully ending that discussion. You saw Atsumu yawn on your screen. “You should go to sleep, it’s getting late.”

If only you knew, he wasn’t sleeping well at night, at least not without you and your fingers tangled on his hair lulling him to sleep. He agreed anyway because he knew you were tired too. He hung up this time and closed his eyes, holding his phone close to his chest, hoping you dreamed of him.

*

The next morning, Atsumu went to the training room like Iwaizumi told him to. He started his physical therapy and was given a pain killer to get through the day. When it was time to head to practice, he was told to sit down, so he did, all under Iwaizumi’s watch. The trainer refused to leave him alone, knowing that he would insist on setting the ball during drill practice. Somehow, Iwaizumi saw a bit of his best friend on Atsumu. His stubbornness was his biggest resemblance to Oikawa; Atsumu looked like the type to overwork himself.

Perfectionism was the death for any genius, but no one ever tells them they don’t need to be perfect. Iwaizumi could see Atsumu’s hungry eyes following the ball from his seat on the bench. His passion for volleyball was different from his; it was raw and pure. Atsumu’s eyes had the same spark Iwaizumi could see on Oikawa’s since they were kids. In that moment Iwaizumi became aware of his surroundings, not only did Atsumu had that spark in his eyes, everyone in that room did too.

They were all monsters hungry for victory.

He smiled at the sight, making his way to sit with Atsumu. “How are you feeling?” The setter looked at him.

“Much better, but I want to play,” Atsumu said. “I hate missing practice.”

“Well, technically you are not missing anything, you’re here, aren’t you?” Iwaizumi tried to hide the smile on his face.

“You got jokes, huh?” Atsumu smirked. “Who would’ve thought?”

“What do you mean?”

“You always look mad, man. Try relaxing your face.” The blonde nudged Iwaizumi’s shoulder playfully as they both laughed. “My girl always says that.”

Iwaizumi looked down, smiling fondly at the memory of you fixing his hair and kissing his nose to calm him down. “Maybe she’s right.”

Atsumu managed to make a full recovery in two weeks, playing carefully and with lots of therapy and care from the medical staff, especially Iwaizumi, who bonded with the setter pretty easily. Iwaizumi was told to keep an eye on Atsumu during his recovery, he personally checked and altered his routines and made sure he didn’t push his luck during practice. In return, Atsumu tried to make him part of his friend group in the team. Iwaizumi looked more relaxed those days, making friends and stepping

out of his bubble for once.

The only one who didn’t seem to accept Iwaizumi’s advances was Bokuto. When he noticed how close his teammate was with your ex, he panicked. Scared to tell you or Akaashi, he tried to fix things by himself, warning Atsumu about him but never giving him a reason. Resulting in Atsumu getting mad at him for making rumors about Iwaizumi. It was a delicate topic for Atsumu, knowing how damaging rumors and lies can be, and how bad it felt to have people talking behind your back.

Bokuto ended up telling Suna and Kiyoomi one morning before practice, hoping that the middle blocker could talk some sense into him. Sakusa thought it was better to do it after practice to prevent a fight between them, since Atsumu was so unpredictable, they decided to wait. Naturally, they weren’t planning on telling you… ever. To their dismay, you were already on a train to Tokyo to visit your boyfriend.

Hideko asked you to cover for her at a few management meetings in the city since she was sick. You wanted to surprise Atsumu so you didn’t tell him when he called you the night before. Akaashi picked you up at the station to get dinner before walking to the training facility. You got in with Akaashi’s visitor pass and waited for Bokuto to come and get you. “He’s in the lounge with Motoya and Ojiro-kun!” He said excitedly. You saw your boyfriend’s back when you turned around the corner, hiding behind a column so he couldn’t see you. Bokuto and Akaashi walked up to them, trying not to look suspicious.

Atsumu greeted Keiji, he was still a little angry with Bokuto, but they were friends and he was happy at least one of them could see their partners. He was a bit envious of his friend but continued chatting with the rest, not knowing that you were sneaking behind him, only a few meters away.

Once you were close enough to touch him, you poked his sides, making him turn. “I swear to god, Yakkun! It’s not funny any-” He was cut short when he saw you smiling behind him. He turned completely to hug you close. “What are you doing here?”

You couldn’t answer since he picked you up to spin you around. “Tsumu, baby, let me down.” You said between giggles. “I came to see you.” You looked at him, he was smiling brightly.

“I missed you so much.” He pulled you closer to his chest once again.

“Is this the girl you always talk about, Miya?” Komori asked. You forgot about the rest of the people in the room for a second. You looked at the libero from the EJP Raijins and Aran in front of you, hooking your arms around Atsumu’s waist.

“You talk about me?” You teased your boyfriend.

“All the time!” Komori continued. “He’s always talking about you with Iwaizumi-san.” Your breath hitched when you heard that name.

“With who?” You asked, slowly pulling away from Atsumu, looking at Bokuto in confusion. It wasn’t who you were thinking, was it? Bokuto looked away. ‘Oh no.’

“Iwaizumi-san! The trainer I always talk about, baby.” Atsumu explained.

“I don’t think you ever told me his name…” Your heart was beating faster than before.

“Really?” He looked confused. “How weird, but no need to worry. Look, he’s over there.” He pointed behind your back. You looked at Akaashi and Bokuto one last time to confirm this was happening, Akaashi could only nod. You turned back slowly and still confused.

He was right there, less than 10 feet away from you. You swore his brown eyes were piercing through your skull. From that moment everything happened in slow motion, Atsumu called your ex-boyfriend to introduce you when he noticed how pale and disoriented you looked. “Babe, are you okay?” He asked with concern, pooling his eyes.

The second you turned to see Atsumu, Iwaizumi was already by your side. “Y/N?”

Atsumu looked at him and then back at you. “You know each other?” He held your face. Now he was the one confused. Iwaizumi tried to touch your shoulder, but his hand was swatted away by Suna, who no one saw enter the room.

“Where’s the bathroom?” You asked your boyfriend. He guided you away from everyone, checking one last time if you were okay before going back to the lounge.

“Can someone explain what’s going on?” Aran asked. “Is Y/N okay? And how does she know Iwaizumi?”

“He is Y/N’s ex-boyfriend,” Akaashi explained. Silence filled the room for a second. “Why didn’t you say anything, Koutaro? This could’ve been prevented.”

“I tried! But Atsumu started being friends with him and I didn’t know what to do…” Bokuto’s grip on Akaashi’s hand increased.

“No, you were trying to get me away from him with stupid excuses.” Atsumu was growing angrier with every second. “You were there the whole time and never said anything, and you.” He said, pointing to Iwaizumi. “You knew this whole time too, you sat there and said fucking nothing?” He asked in disbelief.

“I think it’s better if you go away, Iwaizumi.” He heard Suna say. Iwaizumi had his eyes fixed on the floor, still processing what happened. Komori placed his arm around his shoulders, not really understanding the situation, but sure that maybe it wasn’t the best moment to ask. Iwaizumi started walking away without sparing a glance to Atsumu.

“You are a fucking coward.” The blonde said, and Iwaizumi stopped walking.

“I think this is not the time for fighting, Bokuto wanted to tell you everything today to avoid all of this. I’m sure he didn’t know Y/N was coming.” Suna intervened. Atsumu looked at Bokuto and the wing spiker nodded furiously. “See? Now go check on her.” The middle blocker was trying so hard to avoid a scene, bigger than the one that was already going on.

“Let 's go, Iwaizumi.” Komori called the trainer, but he turned around to face the setter.

“I was trying not to get you involved in something that doesn’t concern you, my issues with her have nothing to do with you.” He said, breathing heavily.

“They have everything to do with me from the moment she told me about you, and how much of a scrub you were.”

“So that’s what she does? She talks shit about me with every person she knows?” His anger was numbing his judgment completely at that point. “Seems like she isn’t really over me, is she?” He spat, not knowing what he started. He was taken aback when two of the volleyball players almost jumped on him.

Atsumu and Bokuto were livid and had no intention of leaving one single bone in Iwaizumi’s body without damage, Suna and Sakusa were too focused on stopping them from hurting the trainer, that they missed the moment when Akaashi stepped forward and punched Iwaizumi right on the face. “I’ve had enough of your nonsense.” Everyone in that lounge remained static for a few seconds, Iwaizumi could only hold his jaw in pain.

“If your head is so far up your ass you can’t get it out in this exact moment to comprehend what you just said, I’ll suggest you leave before I readjust your jaw again.” Akaashi warned, and Komori practically dragged the trainer out of the lounge. Silence still flooded the room, the blue-eyed man pushed his glasses back to their place on top of his nose bridge before he spoke again: “Don’t look at me like that, I’m the only one who can do that without risking my career; and I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” He sighed.

“You should go with Y/N.” Aran said, trying to assimilate the situation. He was sure he was going into heart failure after that.

“Right, I’ll check on her.” Atsumu announced, breaking from Suna’s hold before leaving everyone in the lounge worried. You were still in the bathroom trying to calm down, but it was useless. No matter how many times you splashed your face with water or counted to ten, your heart was still threatening to jump out of your chest.

The bathroom door opened abruptly, revealing a really concerned Atsumu. “It’s the women’s bathroom, Tsumu.”

“You think I give a fuck?” He was pissed, but never at you. He pulled you into his chest one more time, attempting to calm you down, but his chest raised as fast as yours. “Are you okay?”

“No.” You said in a whisper. “What happened outside? I heard you yelling.” You said, taking a deep breath and wiping your tears once again.

“He started talking shit and Akaashi punched him.” He explained.

“Akaashi?” You asked, astonished. Your boyfriend nodded. “That’s… new.”

“Yeah, it was wild.” He let out a small laugh before going silent for a second, basking in your embrace. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” You pulled away from him, concerned at his words.

“Befriending your ex…” You both giggled and he brushed your hair out of your face. “He just sat there and listened to me talking about you, I showed him pictures of us, I even asked for advice, and he said absolutely nothing.”

“Hey.” You stopped him. “Don’t blame yourself for something you can’t control, okay?” He kissed your forehead and looked at you straight in the eye. “You didn’t know.” You assured, pushing his hair back to see his honey eyes before pecking his lips.

“I love you.” Your world stopped. It was the first time he ever said that, and he did it in a public bathroom.

“You idiot.” You slapped his arm and buried your face on his chest in frustration.

“What?” He laughed. “Can’t you say it back like a normal person?” He swayed your bodies from side to side.

“It’s the first time you tell me you love me, and you do it in a public bathroom.” Your words were muffled, but you still managed to make Atsumu giggle.

“It felt natural.” He excused himself. “Public bathroom or not, I mean it. I love you.” He kissed the top of your head.

“I love you too.”

You’ve said those same three words to many people in your life, like your parents every time you left, or to your friends on your drunken nights back in London, and of course, that love was real, but with Atsumu it felt different, it was natural and it was heartfelt. The ‘I love you’ you exchanged with Atsumu — and the ones that were yet to come — were different from the ones you had ever said to anyone else, and you were sure you wanted to say those three words to him over and over again.

Despite the previous events, Atsumu had a toothy grin plastered on his face, and he wanted nothing but to kiss you right there, but he had to hold himself back. He convinced you to leave the bathroom and called you a taxi so you could go to your sister’s apartment. While you waited outside —trying to avoid Iwaizumi, who was still inside— you talked about your plans for the rest of the week and how you planned to go out with him on his day off so he didn’t have to stay in the dorms all day. He agreed to invite Aran and Suna to walk around the city.

You got into the taxi and left after he kissed you goodnight. He stayed outside a little longer, recalling what happened with Iwaizumi. After all that time, they were always talking about the same person. He felt terrible, even when you asked him not to take the blame, it all felt so wrong. When he started walking to the entrance, he saw Iwaizumi standing at the door. Eyes fixed on the floor, and the red mark from Akaashi’s fist on his jaw.

“You really are a piece of shit, man.” Atsumu said, walking past him, this time he didn’t bother to look at Iwaizumi.

“Atsumu, let me explain.”

“Don’t bother.” Atsumu stopped walking. “You showed your true colors today, I don’t need more explanations.”

“I didn’t say anything because I truly didn’t know what to say, and about earlier.” He sighed. “I was really angry, I don’t know why I said that, and I’m terribly sorry.” Iwaizumi declared, this time making eye contact with Atsumu.

“I still don’t care. Whatever you have to say or explain is irrelevant, just don’t talk to me or her ever again. Don’t even think about breathing the same air as her, because next time, I’ll make sure no one holds me back, and believe me, I won’t hold back either.”

With that, Atsumu finally entered the building, and Iwaizumi was left alone once again.

He cried. He cried for a good ten minutes, tears of frustration and hurt because you weren't his anymore, but he was still yours.

What were the odds? He asked again, maybe the answer was one in a million, or maybe the answer was none, since there was no guarantee of having you back in his life, at least not in the way he wanted to, but the way he deserved to. Truth was, that he didn’t want to know, not when the odds seemed to make fun of him in the cruelest way possible.

But you were back, and he was stubborn, so maybe it was worth trying one last time.

*

(a/n: well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions... hi everyone, i'm finally back, you know the drill, health is on zero and i also started uni! i'm feeling way better mentally speaking, and i'm happy that i finally could sit for a few hours and write. there's a few mistakes with my punctuation, but i'll work on them once i finish this godforsaken story, which will be very soon. I'll post chapter nine later today, so stay tuned!)

masterlist

TAGLIST (closed): @aonenthusiast @wiseeggspickleslime​ @koushisun​ @airheadpillar​ @sunflwrsandprettyskies​ @bbkiyoomi​ @daphnxy​ @shephard17895​ @avatarkyoshithewarrior​ @for-rebloggery​ @vv-bee999-vv @fi16ns @asdfghjkl7things @glassykaashi @strawhatshepard @hawkssnugget @msby-kei @toobsessedsstuff @a-moon-fairy @cuteissei @ramblingsofagoofyperson @pinoyrella @kiyoomisimp

#msby atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu scenarios #atsumu fluff #haikyu x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi angst #hq angst #hq fluff #hq x y/n #iwaizumi x reader #miya atsumu #hq hcs #haikyuu!!

[kisskeiji]

lost & found news.

hey y'all, miri here! so, i've been pretty inactive in here but as some of you may know, this year my mental health has been declining and i've been very unmotivated to write or do anything really, usually writing is my outlet but it stopped bringing me joy and it felt like a task rather than a hobby. don't worry i am planning on finishing this fic, but i'm making a few changes: i am going to delete chapter 8. i absolutely hate it, the more i read it the more i despise it, the story is not flowing the way i want it too, so i'm taking it down to rewrite it and move one. sorry about that.

i'm sorry for keeping all of you waiting.

#atsumu x reader #atsumu fluff #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi angst #haikyu x reader

[kisskeiji]

why r u so mad abt the inclusivity thing... it’s nawt that deep especially for some tumblr fanfics get a job

because poc deserve to see themselves in the reader, to feel that love from their favorite hq boy UNCONDITIONALLY. hq is a comfort fandom. every person in the world needs and deserves their comfort. for poc readers, they cannot entirely relate to a piece of content that distinctly draws the reader a certain and specific way. when this occurs, a tone is set; it begins to say poc cannot be with a hq boy, can’t share kisses in the morning, hold their hand or confidently say, belong with my kin/fav.

additionally, (I have been writing for 8+ years and have been adapting my style constantly) making a piece of writing skin tone inclusive IS NOT difficult in any means. perhaps it occurred accidentally, but a piece of writing that repeats a skin tone suggestively continues to alienate and define a reader in black and white; you as a reader can or cannot identify your self with someone you love (hq) whole heartedly when you distinctly deserve to belong with them!

hq is a massive comfort fandom, as mentioned before, what’s wrong with being actively inclusive in your writing when it comes to skin tones and how you describe it, especially when hq boys go crazy for the reader? seriously, what’s the fuss in just using alternative terms, huh?

i personally feel that repeating red tones on a reader is lazy writing, ya i fucking said it, its lazy because there is no distinct effort or respect towards the reader and their desired relationship to said character. it’s extraordinarily painful to not be capable of finding comfort in a character who helps you when you’re at your darkest moments, who probably is the voice in your head telling you you look so pretty, who makes you smile and laugh while you’re breaking down, who accepts you as you are.

poc readers fucking deserve it all the time and an ask like this just demonstrates that negligence.

in complete simple terms, a reader will not be able to feel complete effective comfort with a reader who does not look like them, exhibiting features they cannot identify with.

the entire tone of my message circulates the idea that writers be aware of how you write a reader. writing your reader to the upmost inclusivity (skin tone wise, ofc we want more inclusivity in other domains but for the sake of answering you, we are focusing on skin tones) you are capable of, that, (in my opinion) is the sexiest writing i have ever read!

when you say it’s ‘nawt that deep’ : it’s fucking deep as hell. fan fiction is an escape from reality and the people who produce the content enjoy what they write and find a small hub with other people who enjoy and love it too!

i don’t care really if writers write for themselves and determine they want to write with shades of red, but it’s worth being aware that, that will affect a reader. that same word can easily be replaced with heat or fire, an alternative description. i’m not here to police how people write but i am here to remind you that your writing can affect a reader!

sometimes when i see these words used, i kindly message the writer and mention it and they’re very kind about the matter and eventually change it! but when i read a lot of content in one sitting and see it throughout amongst different accounts, it does affect me to a degree.

———————————

if anything I have said and mentioned upsets you or offends you as a reader or writer and you feel the need to voice that via my inbox and perhaps even critique my own reading, you’re more than welcome to. but this is how i feel and i’m not apologizing. if you absorb my words as an attack on your writing, your missing the purpose of my response. this concern might not matter to you, but it matters to me. you’re entitled to your own opinions but this is my dispute.

[kisskeiji]

hello! the next lost&found chapter will be posted tomorrow :)) i wrote two versions of this chapter because i didn't liked the first one and i did some (big) last minute changes and basically wrote something completely different, i didn't meant to take so long :( i know im not the fastest writer, but know that i give my best, especially since english is not my first language and im really insecure about my writing. i'm also still struggling with my health in general and i have to take breaks from everything very often :( on happier news, i graduated today! so i'll have more time to write during the day. that's all, i just wanted to say that im very much alive and still committed to finish this fic and hopefully starting another one soon. see you all tomorrow <3

[kisskeiji]

the spacing on this shit is driving me insane istg

Poolside. (The afterparty)

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, implied sex, alcohol consumption, Kuroo (yes), not proofread.

this is an extra chapter!

You did end up ditching the party with Atsumu, he followed you to your room and spent the night with you. You woke up the next morning with your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you, despite the missing clothing items on both of your bodies, Atsumu was warm and you could hear him snore softly. You propped yourself on your elbow and tried to wake him up.

“Tsumu, we’re going to be late, wake up.” He stirred awake and groaned as he stretched his limbs.

“I don’t want to go.” He said closing his eyes again.

“I know but we have to, it’s getting late and you need to go to your room to get changed.” You ran your fingers through his hair pushing it back to see his face. He groaned again, turning his back to you. “Come on, big baby, get up.” You got him to stand up after a few minutes, but he made sure to complain, and whine and groan loudly to let you know that he didn’t want to go. You went to the bathroom to start your morning routine as he got dressed and fixed his hair, you came out of the bathroom pat drying your face with a white towel.

“Let’s go to the shopping district later, I want to walk around the city before we go back home.” Atsumu said as he tied his shoes.

“I can’t, my train leaves at four.” He chuckled at your answer.

“You are not riding the train back home by yourself.” He said confidently. “Your boyfriend is coming with you.” You smiled at him and walked closer with your arms crossed. “Let’s change your tickets and we can take the 6:00 p.m ride.” He continued.

“And Suna?” You asked.

“He can come with us, he is a shopping addict he is not going to say no.” Atsumu got up and stood in front of you. “Come on, I want to get you a Christmas gift.” He tried to convince you by wiggling his brows.

“You already gave me a Christmas gift, ‘Tsumu.” You rolled your eyes and hugged his waist.

“You deserve two.” He leaned for a kiss but you stopped him.

“Go shower and brush your teeth and I’ll kiss you.” You said pulling apart.

“You always do this!” He complained. You walked him to the door and held it open. “I’ll see you in an hour.” He looked at you with puppy eyes. With a hand on his shoulder, you forced him to lean down once again and kissed his cheek.

“So needy.” You sighed.

“Only for you.” He gave you a cheeky smile and started walking backwards to the elevator and sending you kisses, you made him turn back to see where he was walking and the door in front of yours opened.

“Would you look at that? A-list athlete Miya Atsumu walking out of his publicist room first thing in the morning, you don’t see that every day.” Kuroo teased.

“You were eavesdropping?” You asked unamused.

“Couldn’t help myself.” He stretched his back like an old man when you realized that wasn’t his room.

“That’s Hideko’s room.” He nodded. “Why are you coming out of her room?”

“Think very hard.” He narrowed his eyes and laughed at your disgusted expression.

“You fucked my boss? Out of all the people in that party, you decided to hook up with my boss?” You whispered in distress as he smirked, throwing his head back. “You are unbelievable.”

“Come on, it was a great night, we had drinks, hooked up with hot people. Don’t tell me you didn’t have fun.” He leaned against the door frame.

“No, sir. You, hooked up with my boss, I spent the night with my boyfriend.” You said with arms crossed, mimicking his position.

“About time you got a boyfriend.” He joked. “Well, I’ll see you at the poolside, Hideko is bringing me as her plus one, and I can’t say no to free food.” He closed the door and threw his coat over his shoulder.

“You talk as if you weren’t a supervisor at the association.” You deadpanned and he shrugged, after that he left without another word and his damned smirk plastered on his face. ‘Annoying.’ You thought.

You tried to put together something that looked at least decent to meet the team owners, the goal was to look casual without freezing to death and to not make a mess with your luggage since you were leaving that same day. Taking a last look in the mirror with pursed lips you huffed, team reunions were always nerve-wracking, Hideko always tried to keep you away from them but today it was inevitable. You took the elevator to the lobby and looked for the salon where the afterparty was being held.

It was a secluded area on the first floor with a terrace next to the pool, ambiance music and the clinking of cups and silverware could be heard from the entrance, waiters walked all over the area with trays of cocktails and appetizers. You recognized a few faces from your higher-ups and people you’ve never seen before, naturally, you greeted everyone and started small talks with some of them, coach Foster was the first one to intervene and save you from more awkward conversations with possible sponsors.

“Y/N, Imai was asking for you just now! Why don’t you go look for her?” He lied, giving you the opportunity to excuse yourself with a promise to talk later with them. You saw Akaashi talking with Inunaki and Atsumu next to the snack bar. You were not sure why it looked like it was a cocktail party rather than brunch. You avoided everyone else while making your way to them. You placed your hand on Atsumu’s lower back and he turned to see you.

“Hey.” He said. “Long time no see.” You hooked your arms on his and pushed him lightly with your hip making him laugh as he kissed your temple.

“Am I missing something here?” Hideko asked as she sat next to Inunaki with a mimosa in one hand.

“We know you two are close and grossly in love but this is a bit too much.” Inunaki took a sip of his own mimosa and Hideko hummed in agreement. Akaashi was quiet, he just stared at you knowing what was about to come once Bokuto came back.

“When?” He asked you, smiling brightly at him for being the only one who took a hint. ‘Last night.’ You answered simply; Inunaki’s jaw dropped and Hideko almost screamed of excitement.

“Wait, before or after midnight?” She asked abruptly and you heard Inunaki curse under his breath.

“Like five minutes before midnight.” Atsumu recalled raising his brow. Hideko clapped once and closed her eyes doing a little celebration dance.

“Pay up, fucker!” She exclaimed holding her hand open, Inunaki shot Atsumu an angry glare and took his wallet out of his pocket claiming it wasn’t fair and that he could’ve waited five minutes more to ask you out. “Where are Bokuto and Thomas? They are not gonna like this one.”

“What are you talking about, Imai?” Thomas and Bokuto were standing right behind you, he looked at your hand on Atsumu’s bicep and then back to Hideko who was still dancing in victory and counting the money Inunaki gave her. “You have to be kidding me!”

“You decided to man up now? Really?” Bokuto walked past you glaring at Atsumu to place a stack of bills on Hideko’s hand and then Akaashi’s. Atsumu and you were so confused, they all had a bet?

“Hold up, Keiji, you too?” You asked in disbelief and he smirked.

“I had faith in Miya-san.” He excused himself nonchalantly as Thomas paid him. “If anything, we were your good luck charm.”

“I can believe it from Hideko, but you Keiji-kun?” Atsumu shook his hand in disapproval. You were not mad at all, but you expected something like this from Suna and Osamu rather than your coworkers.

“Hideko-san, where’s your plus one?” You decided to tease her a little as payback. She stopped laughing and looked like she wanted to strangle you, now she couldn't escape Inunaki’s reckless jokes about her ‘getting some’.

“How do you know I have a plus one?” She placed her money on her bag angrily.

“I saw him walking out of your room this morning.” Her eyes widened and you continued. “Tall, black and horribly styled hair, and I think he works for the association.”

“Please don’t tell me it’s Kuroo!” Bokuto started laughing at Hideko’s face, you didn't say anything just started laughing along with Bokuto.

“You two know him?”

“He is our friend.” Akaashi clarified because you were too busy trying to catch your breath.

“Bokuto I’ll give your money back if you don’t mention this ever again.” Hideko bribed but Bokuto shook his head.

“Nah, you can keep it, this is ten times better than money.” Bokuto started laughing again.

“You are lucky I like your work.” She glared daggers at you as you closed your mouth with a fake zipper still grinning and completely satisfied with your actions. “Well, I have to go. I don't like you guys anymore. Don’t drink too much and don’t be rude to anyone.” After Hideko left, your other friends also went to wander around the room talking to other people and you were alone with Atsumu.

“See? What could've happened if you were left alone with that friend of yours last night?” He passed you a cup of sparkling water as he spoke.

“Oh, don't worry I don't make the same mistake twice.” You said confidently drinking from your cup and he nodded. It took him a second to look at you with eyes wide open in horror.

“What do you mean twice?” You almost choked on your drink at his question.

Oh shit...

(a/n: extra chapter yay! i had this idea the other day while i arranged my notes, im planning on adding more of this extra chapters and making them more light hearted so i don't kill yall with the following chapters lmao, im currently working on the next one and i've been doing a lot of research to create a time line that is easy to understand and write and sticking as much as i can to how national teams work, i was really frustrated trying to organize everything but my brain is working again, finally. i'll see you soon,,,, or not :) )

masterlist

TAGLIST (closed): @aonenthusiast @wiseeggspickleslime​ @koushisun​ @airheadpillar​ @sunflwrsandprettyskies​ @bbkiyoomi​ @daphnxy​ @shephard17895​ @avatarkyoshithewarrior​ @for-rebloggery​ @vv-bee999-vv @fi16ns @asdfghjkl7things @glassykaashi @strawhatshepard @hawkssnugget @msby-kei @toobsessedsstuff @a-moon-fairy @cuteissei @ramblingsofagoofyperson @pinoyrella @kiyoomisimp

[kisskeiji]

Poolside. (The afterparty)

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, implied sex, alcohol consumption, Kuroo (yes), not proofread.

this is an extra chapter!

You did end up ditching the party with Atsumu, he followed you to your room and spent the night with you. You woke up the next morning with your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you, despite the missing clothing items on both of your bodies, Atsumu was warm and you could hear him snore softly. You propped yourself on your elbow and tried to wake him up.

“Tsumu, we’re going to be late, wake up.” He stirred awake and groaned as he stretched his limbs.

“I don’t want to go.” He said closing his eyes again.

“I know but we have to, it’s getting late and you need to go to your room to get changed.” You ran your fingers through his hair pushing it back to see his face. He groaned again, turning his back to you. “Come on, big baby, get up.” You got him to stand up after a few minutes, but he made sure to complain, and whine and groan loudly to let you know that he didn’t want to go. You went to the bathroom to start your morning routine as he got dressed and fixed his hair, you came out of the bathroom pat drying your face with a white towel.

“Let’s go to the shopping district later, I want to walk around the city before we go back home.” Atsumu said as he tied his shoes.

“I can’t, my train leaves at four.” He chuckled at your answer.

“You are not riding the train back home by yourself.” He said confidently. “Your boyfriend is coming with you.” You smiled at him and walked closer with your arms crossed. “Let’s change your tickets and we can take the 6:00 p.m ride.” He continued.

“And Suna?” You asked.

“He can come with us, he is a shopping addict he is not going to say no.” Atsumu got up and stood in front of you. “Come on, I want to get you a Christmas gift.” He tried to convince you by wiggling his brows.

“You already gave me a Christmas gift, ‘Tsumu.” You rolled your eyes and hugged his waist.

“You deserve two.” He leaned for a kiss but you stopped him.

“Go shower and brush your teeth and I’ll kiss you.” You said pulling apart.

“You always do this!” He complained. You walked him to the door and held it open. “I’ll see you in an hour.” He looked at you with puppy eyes. With a hand on his shoulder, you forced him to lean down once again and kissed his cheek.

“So needy.” You sighed.

“Only for you.” He gave you a cheeky smile and started walking backwards to the elevator and sending you kisses, you made him turn back to see where he was walking and the door in front of yours opened.

“Would you look at that? A-list athlete Miya Atsumu walking out of his publicist room first thing in the morning, you don’t see that every day.” Kuroo teased.

“You were eavesdropping?” You asked unamused.

“Couldn’t help myself.” He stretched his back like an old man when you realized that wasn’t his room.

“That’s Hideko’s room.” He nodded. “Why are you coming out of her room?”

“Think very hard.” He narrowed his eyes and laughed at your disgusted expression.

“You fucked my boss? Out of all the people in that party, you decided to hook up with my boss?” You whispered in distress as he smirked, throwing his head back. “You are unbelievable.”

“Come on, it was a great night, we had drinks, hooked up with hot people. Don’t tell me you didn’t have fun.” He leaned against the door frame.

“No, sir. You, hooked up with my boss, I spent the night with my boyfriend.” You said with arms crossed, mimicking his position.

“About time you got a boyfriend.” He joked. “Well, I’ll see you at the poolside, Hideko is bringing me as her plus one, and I can’t say no to free food.” He closed the door and threw his coat over his shoulder.

“You talk as if you weren’t a supervisor at the association.” You deadpanned and he shrugged, after that he left without another word and his damned smirk plastered on his face. ‘Annoying.’ You thought.

You tried to put together something that looked at least decent to meet the team owners, the goal was to look casual without freezing to death and to not make a mess with your luggage since you were leaving that same day. Taking a last look in the mirror with pursed lips you huffed, team reunions were always nerve-wracking, Hideko always tried to keep you away from them but today it was inevitable. You took the elevator to the lobby and looked for the salon where the afterparty was being held.

It was a secluded area on the first floor with a terrace next to the pool, ambiance music and the clinking of cups and silverware could be heard from the entrance, waiters walked all over the area with trays of cocktails and appetizers. You recognized a few faces from your higher-ups and people you’ve never seen before, naturally, you greeted everyone and started small talks with some of them, coach Foster was the first one to intervene and save you from more awkward conversations with possible sponsors.

“Y/N, Imai was asking for you just now! Why don’t you go look for her?” He lied, giving you the opportunity to excuse yourself with a promise to talk later with them. You saw Akaashi talking with Inunaki and Atsumu next to the snack bar. You were not sure why it looked like it was a cocktail party rather than brunch. You avoided everyone else while making your way to them. You placed your hand on Atsumu’s lower back and he turned to see you.

“Hey.” He said. “Long time no see.” You hooked your arms on his and pushed him lightly with your hip making him laugh as he kissed your temple.

“Am I missing something here?” Hideko asked as she sat next to Inunaki with a mimosa in one hand.

“We know you two are close and grossly in love but this is a bit too much.” Inunaki took a sip of his own mimosa and Hideko hummed in agreement. Akaashi was quiet, he just stared at you knowing what was about to come once Bokuto came back.

“When?” He asked you, smiling brightly at him for being the only one who took a hint. ‘Last night.’ You answered simply; Inunaki’s jaw dropped and Hideko almost screamed of excitement.

“Wait, before or after midnight?” She asked abruptly and you heard Inunaki curse under his breath.

“Like five minutes before midnight.” Atsumu recalled raising his brow. Hideko clapped once and closed her eyes doing a little celebration dance.

“Pay up, fucker!” She exclaimed holding her hand open, Inunaki shot Atsumu an angry glare and took his wallet out of his pocket claiming it wasn’t fair and that he could’ve waited five minutes more to ask you out. “Where are Bokuto and Thomas? They are not gonna like this one.”

“What are you talking about, Imai?” Thomas and Bokuto were standing right behind you, he looked at your hand on Atsumu’s bicep and then back to Hideko who was still dancing in victory and counting the money Inunaki gave her. “You have to be kidding me!”

“You decided to man up now? Really?” Bokuto walked past you glaring at Atsumu to place a stack of bills on Hideko’s hand and then Akaashi’s. Atsumu and you were so confused, they all had a bet?

“Hold up, Keiji, you too?” You asked in disbelief and he smirked.

“I had faith in Miya-san.” He excused himself nonchalantly as Thomas paid him. “If anything, we were your good luck charm.”

“I can believe it from Hideko, but you Keiji-kun?” Atsumu shook his hand in disapproval. You were not mad at all, but you expected something like this from Suna and Osamu rather than your coworkers.

“Hideko-san, where’s your plus one?” You decided to tease her a little as payback. She stopped laughing and looked like she wanted to strangle you, now she couldn't escape Inunaki’s reckless jokes about her ‘getting some’.

“How do you know I have a plus one?” She placed her money on her bag angrily.

“I saw him walking out of your room this morning.” Her eyes widened and you continued. “Tall, black and horribly styled hair, and I think he works for the association.”

“Please don’t tell me it’s Kuroo!” Bokuto started laughing at Hideko’s face, you didn't say anything just started laughing along with Bokuto.

“You two know him?” Hideko asked.

“He is our friend.” Akaashi clarified because you were too busy trying to catch your breath.

“Bokuto I’ll give your money back if you don’t mention this ever again.” Hideko bribed but Bokuto shook his head.

“Nah, you can keep it, this is ten times better than money.” Bokuto started laughing again.

“You are lucky I like your work.” She glared daggers at you as you closed your mouth with a fake zipper still grinning and completely satisfied with your actions. “Well, I have to go. I don't like you guys anymore. Don’t drink too much and don’t be rude to anyone.” After Hideko left, your other friends also went to wander around the room talking to other people and you were alone with Atsumu.

“See? What could've happened if you were left alone with that friend of yours last night?” He passed you a cup of sparkling water as he spoke.

“Oh, don't worry I don't make the same mistake twice.” You said confidently drinking from your cup and he nodded. It took him a second to look at you with eyes wide open in horror.

“What do you mean twice?” You almost choked on your drink at his question.

Oh shit...

(a/n: extra chapter yay! i had this idea the other day while i arranged my notes, im planning on adding more of this extra chapters and making them more light hearted so i don't kill yall with the following chapters lmao, im currently working on the next one and i've been doing a lot of research to create a time line that is easy to understand and write and sticking as much as i can to how national teams work, i was really frustrated trying to organize everything but my brain is working again, finally. i'll see you soon,,,, or not :) )

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#atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #msby atsumu #atsumu scenarios #atsumu fluff #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #hq imagines #hq x you #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi angst

[kisskeiji]

7. Lottery.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol and smoking, like one mention of sex (i think) and atsumu being sentimental. 

  Winter was your favorite season. You would always stay in for the holidays and spend the winter break at home. Iwaizumi never understood why you enjoyed sleeping with nothing but your underwear  and a pair of fuzzy socks if you were going to sleep with three covers anyway, you loved the cold and everything that came with it. Your wardrobe was always full of sweaters and coats and your shared apartment was carefully decorated with things you collected over the years. 

Now they remained in the box where you left them the last christmas you spent with him, untouched, since he wasn’t one to celebrate especially now that he is spending the season by himself, refusing to go home with Hanamaki. He still missed you and he tried to do everything he could to get you out of his mind, he even worked on Christmas day but couldn’t stop thinking about you and how you would be wandering around the kitchen cooking dinner for your friends, but he ruined it. You weren’t with him and it was all his fault and he hated it. 

There was no one else to blame, but his pride and jealousy tried to blame you too, convincing himself it was your fault too for running away, for not facing him, for moving on before him. Ever since he called you that night and another guy answered the phone his chest tightened to the thought of you with another man. His friends tried to set him up with several women but he never caved in, he didn’t wanted to give himself another chance, he wanted you, and if he couldn’t have you then there was no other person for him, you were the one, and he knew that since you started dating but he gave in to his selfish needs. 

It was New Year’s Eve and his boss urged him to take a break. He had no other plans, he called his parents and texted his best friends wishing them a happy New Year because he was going to sleep early that night. Someone knocked on the door when he was on his way to the shower. Hanamaki and Matsukawa greeted him when he opened the door.

“At least act like you are glad to see us.” Matsukawa said.

“I thought you guys were in Miyagi.” 

“Yeah, but we knew you were going to mope around all day so we came to see you.” Hanamaki sat on the couch.

“Iwaizumi-san!” Kindaichi entered the apartment along with Kunimi and Watari. 

“You guys too?” He asked, hugging all of them, his mood slowly getting better.

“Yahaba and Kyotani are coming too.” Watari informed him before walking to the kitchen to drop the bags of takeout they all brought. “We thought a team reunion would pick you up.” 

“You didn’t have to, guys.” Iwaizumi took his laptop and a few papers that were on the coffee table to make some room. 

“But you need it.” Kunimi said with evident concern. Iwaizumi’s expression softened and his eyes watered, still wishing you were there but certainly not alone anymore, his friends still cared for him. 

“Don’t tell me you are crying!” Matsukawa teased him with an arm around his shoulders. 

“Of course not, you idiot, I’m just happy you are all here.” Everyone laughed at him, the ever so indifferent Iwaizumi almost crying was a rare sight, but warmth ran through everyone’s veins in that moment. 

Just like Watari promised, Yahaba and Kyotani joined shortly after, with tons of beer and baked goods Kyotani cooked for everyone. Hours passed, sharing laughs and reminiscing their high school days, the alcohol started to get the best of them, even Kunimi was cracking jokes every now and then, a few cigarette ends scattered around the table and empty plates piled on the sink. Iwaizumi laid back on the couch and stared at the ceiling, longing for something. 

“Makki told me you tried to call her.” Matsukawa said casually, lighting another cigarette. Iwaizumi sighed and looked at him inhale the smoke.

“I did, but we didn’t talk.” Matsukawa raised an eyebrow. “A guy picked up the phone and I hung up.”  Iwaizumi heard a ‘tsk’ from Matsukawa.

“That’s tough. But she has never mentioned anything about dating when we talk, maybe it was just a friend.” Issei reasoned and Iwaizumi nodded, still unsure.

“Have you seen her recently?” Iwaizumi asked. 

 “We went out the last time she went to Miyagi a few weeks ago. My girl loves her.” Matsukawa took out his phone from the back of his pocket and tapped the screen a few times before showing a picture of his girlfriend and you at some bar, smiling brightly at the camera, cheeks flushed and drinks on the table. Iwaizumi smiled to himself, you looked beautiful yet different, a different kind of light shined in your eyes. “She’s doing great.” 

“I miss her.” Words weren’t enough to describe how much he was hurting.

“I know, but you need to get over her, she already figured things out, you can’t hold to the past any longer. What you did was dick move, but give yourself a chance, you don’t have to date right now but try to get yourself out there, have fun and please get some. I’m begging you.” The last comment earned him a smack on the back of his head from Iwaizumi. 

“How do you know I’m not getting any? You don’t live here anymore.” Iwaizumi questioned. 

“Because Makki won’t stop bitching about your attitude.” Matsukawa explained and brought the cigarette back to his lips and laughed at Iwaizumi’s frown, exhaling the smoke in the opposite direction of his friends. “It’s almost midnight.” He announced. 

“Yeah you are right.” Iwaizumi looked back at the rest of the guys currently crowding his living room, smiling to himself once again. “Thanks.” He paused and looked at the former middle blocker. “For this, I mean, I really needed it.”

“Always.” Matsukawa gave him a pat on his shoulder and smiled, he still had hope for Iwaizumi and he wished nothing but the best for his friend, even if you were not together anymore, both of you deserved to be happy. 

*

Meanwhile in some five star hotel in Tokyo, you struggled to check-in, with a small suitcase and a dress bag hanging on your shoulder, you tried to make the receptionist understand you were part of the required staff for the night and not a reporter trying to get in, but you forgot your team ID. Hideko was nowhere to be seen and none of your higher ups were staying at the same hotel. You were screwed until someone could prove you were in fact working that night and you were losing precious time to get ready, you had less than 6 hours before the party started. 

“Is there a problem?” You heard someone ask from behind you. Meian and his girlfriend walked to the counter and the receptionist’s attitude changed instantly, he explained the situation politely to the two of them while sparing you a nasty side eye when they referred to you. 

“Meian-senshu, please tell them I work with you, they won’t let me check-in and I forgot my ID. My name is on the reservation but they refuse to give me my room.” You pleaded, your dress bag feeling heavier with every minute. 

“Y/N does work with the Black Jackals, I assume you know who I am, please let her in, she’s coming to the party too.” He pointed at the access pass on your wrist. 

“I’m really sorry, ma’am, I will register you right now.” The receptionist typed quickly and gave you the room key. Sighing heavily you thanked Meian for his help as he checked-in himself. His girlfriend started a small chat with you about what you would wear tonight, she was really excited to wear her gown and complemented yours.

“You are going to break hearts tonight, Y/N!” She teased. 

“Well if your dress is how I imagine it is then Meian-senshu is taking two awards tonight.” 

“You are not wrong.” Meian added, sneaking his arm around her waist and passed her the key. “Eleventh floor.” He said as she held the card. “Atsumu isn’t here yet?” He asked and you shrugged. 

“I don’t know, I’ve been here for a good thirty minutes and I didn’t see him come in.” You explained. “Bokuto is not here either.” Meian hummed.

“I’ll give them a call before we go up to our room, they are always late to these things.” 

“They are always late.” You corrected him and he laughed. “See you at the party.” You said before making your way to the elevator, wanting nothing but to get to your room and take a shower. 

Your room was rather big, but definitely not a suite, there were two beds, a desk and a closet right beside the bathroom door, and you had a really nice view of the city. Once you hung up your dress you walked to the window and stared at the city, the sunset claiming the sky and the city lights started to shine brighter. You missed Tokyo. Is not like Osaka was boring or anything, but Tokyo brought memories from your first days of college and all the friends you left behind. Sighing, you turned back and opened your suitcase to get the things you needed to shower and get ready.  

You styled your hair right after showering and did your makeup heavier than usual, you needed to be ready at least two hours before the actual party to have a small meeting with Hideko and the other teams management and make it in time for the red carpet. Struggling to zip your dress by yourself and accepting that you got half a size too small with your shoes again, you were at the door adjusting your earpiece, holding your clutch bag under your arm just in time to meet Hideko and the Jackals assistant coach in the elevator. “The red carpet shouldn’t take long, I’m trying to call everyone so they can get in at once, Y/N I’ll leave them to you.” Hideko ran you through. “Two minutes on the mark, two or three questions and done, you get in once they are all set.” 

“Got it.” You assured her.

“Great.” She sighed in relief. “There’s an after party tomorrow, the big boss wants to have brunch with everyone.” She emphasized the word ‘brunch’ to make it sound fancier and she rolled her eyes. “It is mandatory.” She said before you could ask. 

“I’ll be there then.” The door opened and you stepped out to meet a few people that told you the same thing Hideko said earlier, you talked to some acquaintances from other teams that were told to manage the red carpet along with you. 

“I’m going to strangle them, every single one of those volleyball players.” Hideko gripped her phone in her hands and you laughed. “They are all going to be late.” She massaged her temples and stomped her heels loudly, you could tell her stress was getting the best out of her. “Can you call Atsumu? I’m sure he’ll pick up if he sees it is you.” You complied to her request and dialed Atsumu’s number and turned the speaker on. After three rings he greeted you. 

“Hey, beautiful.” Your cheeks turned pink at the nickname.

“You can flirt later, Romeo, now tell me why you won’t pick up your damn phone.” She gritted her teeth and you cringed. She walked away with your phone as she gave Atsumu instructions to gather all of his teammates and meet her at the lobby. She gave you back your phone and practically ran to the lobby to wait for them. You decided to kill time talking to some people from the event management. After twenty minutes or so, the reporters and paparazzis were lined up in front of the step and repeat and you heard Hideko calling you from your earpiece. ‘They are ready, we go first. I’ll send them one by one, remember, they go first and then their plus one.’ 

You got yourself in position to receive the players, Inunaki was the first to walk in, you smiled at him and walked right behind him, setting him on the mark and stepping aside to let the photographers do their job. Repeating the same process with everyone from the team and their partners, you were ready to set the last three players, Atsumu, Bokuto and Sakusa. 

“You look so good, Y/N!” Bokuto exclaimed when he saw you, Akaashi trailing behind. 

“You two look amazing too!” You checked their outfits up and down. Both of them had tuxedos, Bokuto wore a dark grey suit that matched his hair and Akaashi a classic jet black, hair slicked back and their colognes mixed if you were standing too close.

“Akaashi helped me with my tie.” He said proudly and looked at his boyfriend who smiled back at him. 

“Are you alright?” Akaashi asked. 

“I must look rough, huh?” You chuckled and he rolled his eyes. “My shoes are killing me and I walked on this carpet twenty times already, I don’t think I’ll make it to the end of the night.” You held Bokuto’s bicep. “You ready?” You asked and they both nodded and you guided them to the marks on the step and repeat, Bokuto answered all of the questions cheerfully, excited for his nominations. Once he was done and you were at the entrance, Akaashi tapped your shoulder and made you look back. 

You saw Atsumu talking with Sakusa, their tall figures standing out from the crowd of distressed staff surrounding them, you made sure Bokuto and Akaashi were in before walking to them. Atsumu noticed you coming up to him and shamelessly checked you out —you weren’t that subtle either— smiling brightly once you were in front of him. “Who wants to go first?” You asked. 

“I’ll do it, I want to get over with this as soon as possible.” Kiyoomi huffed, taking his mask off and throwing it in the nearest trash can. “Let's go.” As always you walked him to the mark and waited for him to answer a few questions. Kiyoomi was a great actor, his stance and expression changed as soon as he faced the interviewers, answering calmly and politely. Atsumu was laughing his ass off, knowing that his friend was most likely planning how to get away from the ceremony, maybe faking a headache or even a fainting. You signaled Atsumu to start walking as Sakusa said his goodbyes to the press, you stepped back when Atsumu made it to the white cross mark on the floor and announced you were done with the red carpet on your radio. 

All of the reporters called for Atsumu, yelling questions and complimenting him, he smiled lazily with his hands in his pockets. 

“No plus one tonight, Miya?”  Atsumu laughed at the question.

“My mom was busy” A few of them laughed with him, but it was barely noticeable, the sounds of clicks and flashes from the cameras filled the area. 

“A young man like you showing alone at these events is hard to believe, you sure you don’t have a special someone, Miya-senshu?” 

Atsumu looked at you for less than a second and you saw clearly how his smile widened. “Maybe next time, guys.” He said, looking at you once again waiting for his queue to go, you nodded and he made his way to the main entrance, you following behind. “You look stunning, by the way.” He said as he walked past you when you held the door open for him to get in, you stared at his back until he was out of sight. Hideko dismissed you after that, so you could enjoy the party with the rest of the staff, she promised to join you later to have a drink because according to her, you deserved it. 

The rest of the teams invited to the ceremony were still coming in, but the salon was already filled with people, from sponsors to team owners, and some volleyball legends you recognized from the countless rambles Bokuto and Atsumu absorbed you in. It was different, it felt different, it wasn’t until that moment you realized the turn your career took after joining the team, it was crazy to think that you were part of this world now. A few taps on your shoulder were enough to snap you back to reality, Aran and Hana greeted you warmly and they looked amazing with Aran’s tie matching Hana’s red dress. “I think I’ll never get used to this.” She said and you agreed. Aran got abducted by some other players and you were left alone with her, the bar was conveniently close to you, so you opted to get something to drink to start the night. “Where’s Atsumu?” She asked. 

“I have no idea, he walked in and I lost him, maybe with the rest of the team” You pointed to a table near the center where most of the team members sat, waiting for the ceremony to start. He was indeed sitting with coach Foster and Barnes, laughing fondly and having their first glass of wine. You smiled to yourself in satisfaction, everything was going well, and hopefully everyone would take an award home. 

“That man over there is totally checking you out.” Hana said and you turned your head back to see her. “To your left.” As soon as you looked where she told you, you felt your soul leave your body and come back right after. 

“I’ll be back in a second.” You announced and walked towards the man that was ‘totally checking you out’. “Don’t you know staring is rude?” 

“Oh shut up, I couldn’t recognize you from here.” He defended himself. “I forgot my glasses at home.” You hugged him.

“You’ll  never learn.” Giggling he nudged your shoulder and stepped back to have a better view of your face. “My friend thought you were checking me out.” 

“Come on, I have higher standards.” He teased. “Where 's Bokuto? He said to meet him here earlier.” 

“He’s with the team, over there.” You pointed with your head and he hummed when he saw the grey haired man standing next to his boyfriend, talking with people you didn’t knew. You caught a glance of his smirk before he said:

“Does everyone here greet you with death stares or is it only that guy walking over here?”  Kuroo asked. You turned your head back to see Atsumu approaching you, pushing past all the people that tried to intersect him on his way to you. 

“Hey, uh, Hideko is looking for you.” He lied, you looked at him weird, you were pretty sure that Hideko was busy talking with the event management. 

“That’s weird, she would’ve rang me if she needed me.” You said showing your radio. Picking up on his jealousy tantrum by the way he was standing protectively in front of you, you grabbed his arm and pushed him to the side and made him turn around. “Kuroo, this is Miya Atsumu. Tsumu, this is my best friend Kuroo, the one I talked you about before.” Atsumu’s frown softened a bit but he was still suspicious — and jealous— about Kuroo and his smug grin. 

“Kuroo Tetsuro, I work with the institution.” He extended his hand and Atsumu did the same. 

“When you say it like that you almost sound important.” You mocked.

“That’s because I am important, baby.” Kuroo said, knowing exactly what he was doing by using that pet name. “Now, I’ll leave you both to it, I need to talk with Bokuto.” He excused himself and you were left alone with Atsumu, with your hand still on his arm, you walked him to the bar  where Hana waited for you.

“What was that about?” You asked. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I saw a suspicious man near you and I thought you needed help.” He shrugged. 

“Yeah, right, there’s nothing suspicious about Kuroo, he’s an idiot, don’t mind him.” You reassured him. “That was my best friend, not a man checking me out.” You said to Hana when you made it back to her side.

“He looks like a pervert.” Hana admitted. 

“See? I’m not the only one who thought there was something wrong with him.” Atsumu looked at you with wide eyes. The lights dimmed and the last call before the ceremony started was heard. “This is going to start soon, let’s take our seats.” You accompanied Hana to the Red Falcons table and then headed to your team’s seats with Atsumu’s hand in yours at all times, unbuttoning his jacket he sat right beside you.

“Are you nervous?” You asked him. 

“Not in the slightest.” He lied to you for the second time that night. He was terrified, he didn’t wanted to lose the award, especially in front of you.  

“I hope you prepared an acceptance speech.”  He sighed soundly and squeezed your hand. 

“No need, Tobio-kun is here, that award is his.” He sounded defeated, it was your turn to give his hand a squeeze. While you knew many sides of Atsumu he didn’t show often, you weren’t familiar with his pessimist persona, it was a sight you didn’t like at all, defeat wasn’t a good look on him. 

“Stop that, award or not, you are still one of the best setters in the country and no one can change that.” He let go of your hand to call the waiter to get you whatever you wanted to drink, whining for your long forgotten gimlet you left behind when you were talking to Kuroo, you asked for water. “You made me waste a drink.”

“I didn’t do anything, you are the forgetful one here.”  Your banter was cut short by Adriah’s voice, the ceremony started without the two of you noticing. 

“It’s an honor to be hosting the twenty-seventeen Volleyball Association Awards. Tonight the best players of all three divisions will be rewarded for their performance during the last two seasons. How are you feeling tonight, Komori?” Adriah looked at the EJP Raijin’s Libero. 

“Thank you for that introduction, Adriah, and I’m really excited to see who will win in each category, and speaking of, our categories for tonight are: coach, setter, middle blocker, wing spiker and libero of the year; best captain, and best new comer.” A screen behind both hosts showed the nominations at the same time Komori listed them. 

“Both men's and women’s leagues will be presented by our wonderful co-hosts, let’s get started with our first nomination, we leave you with Tsukasa Iizuna from the Deseo Hornets.” Adriah and Komori walked out the stage after shaking hands with Iizuna. He introduced the nominees for wing spiker of the year.   

After an hour or so, Inunaki was the only one in the team with an award, sadly Meian lost to Fukuro Hirugami and Suna won best newcomer over Bokuto and Sakusa. “Presenting the setter of the year nominees, Kanoka Amanai, wing spiker of the women’s National Volleyball Team for the 2016 olympics and the Hisamitsu Springs.” Komori introduced a tall girl in a beautiful yellow dress, she smiled nervously and held the envelope with the winner tightly. 

“A lot of people often think that us spikers do all the job at scoring points, but the truth is, that setters are the ones that rule the court from both sides, we wouldn’t be anything without our setters. That’s why I’m honored to present to you the nominees for the setter of the year award.” The screen in the back showed pictures and the names from each nominee, Atsumu’s name right beside Kageyama’s. 

“And the winner is…” Kanoka said, opening the envelope. “Miya Atsumu, from the MSBY Black Jackals.” She read after a few seconds and everyone cheered. Atsumu looked at you with wide eyes and hugged you instinctively. The rest of the team practically dragged him out of his seat to receive his award. He almost tripped trying to hug Aran on his way to the stage but he made it eventually. He took the golden statue in one hand and stood in front of the microphone with his mouth agape and laughing nervously. 

“Wow.” He said, now wishing he prepared an acceptance speech. “This is unbelievable, really. I didn’t expect to win something like this in my first year playing professionally.” He looked at the statue and then back to the crowd. “ Sometimes I push myself too hard for the sake of my team and the weight of losing is always devastating, especially playing this position, but I’m thankful to everyone. My teammates, coach Foster and our management for trusting me and pushing me to do my best. I also want to thank my friends and my brother, who is not here tonight, but he was the best spiker I’ve ever had and the one that trained with me everyday since we were kids, I know he is going to see this, so, thank you ‘Samu, I wouldn’t be here without you.”  He was talking really fast and barely breathing. “This means a lot to me, thank you so much.” He finished and the crowd cheered for him, your table was the loudest of them all. 

He walked back to his seat where everyone waited to congratulate him but he went straight to you and hugged you again, tighter this time. “I told you that you were going to win. I’m so proud of you.” You said before breaking the hug. 

“Thank you.” His eyes were watery and his lip quivered. You made him turn to celebrate with his teammates before he cried and everyone gave him aggressive pats on his back and teased him for being so cheesy. He was happy. So happy he couldn’t stop smiling even when the ceremony ended. 

The party went on smoothly but it was quite boring, everyone wandered around the room talking and congratulating the winners, you grew tired of following Hideko around, big parties weren’t your thing if you were honest. You excused yourself and found your way to a huge balcony that worked as an outdoor smoking lounge. The cold air against your skin made you regret your decisions but it was too late to back down. You placed your hands on the railing and tried to get used to the freezing weather, looking down, you saw a restaurant across the street, the customers wore hats and drank happily celebrating the new year. Right. It was New Year’s Eve. After your realization you checked the hour. 

11:47 P.M.

“What are you doing here?”  Atsumu asked and closed the door behind him. “I’ve been looking for you.” 

“I needed some air.” You stated. 

“Aren’t you cold?” You felt his breath on your ear and smiled. 

“Not really.” You said turning around. He knew you were lying.“Why are you here? You should be celebrating.” You fixed his tie as you spoke, your eyes met his. Taking a better look of his face you smiled to yourself. Atsumu was stunning. Sure he looked good everyday but tonight it was different, it was maybe the tuxedo  or the victorious smile gracing his face, he was the definition of beauty, in its purest form; happiness. 

“Got bored, and I wanted to ask you something.” He explained and placed his hands on their usual spot on your hips. 

“Oh god, please tell me you are not asking me out on New Year’s Eve.” you hooked your arms around his neck and played with the back of his hair. 

“That’s exactly what I’m doing, now shut up and let me make this special.” He tried to bring you closer to him and looked at the moon for a second. “I know it has been hard for you to give yourself another chance to live your life like you want to, and you don’t know how thankful I am for being a part of it. I also know your last boyfriend was an asshole and hurted you beyond repair” 

“Well that’s a way to put it.” You interrupted him and laughed.

“Let me finish.” He laughed along with you. “I promise you, I will treat you so much better if you let me. I know maybe I’m not what you are looking for but you are all I want.”  He was sincere, you could tell by the way his eyes pierced into you, eagerly waiting for you to say something. 

“I don’t know where you got that from, but you are wrong, ‘Tsumu. You are all I want too.” You looked at him with the same intensity but you had tears in your eyes. He didn’t waste another second and kissed you. It was long, and passionate, and loving. He wanted to tell you everything he couldn’t with that kiss. 

He was yours. 

“Now I’m the real winner tonight.” He joked when he pulled apart. 

“Shut up.” You kissed him again before he could say something stupid. 

“Are we interrupting something?” Aran and Suna peaked from the door. “Get in before the countdown starts.” Suna ordered without waiting for an answer, you did as he said, walking hand in hand with Atsumu, something that wasn’t strange for you but this time it was different, because he was yours. 

You had to walk faster to stand with your friends and some team members and the countdown started. Ten. Everyone chanted excitedly to receive the new year. 

Nine, eight, seven, six.

“Ready?” Atsumu asked, staring at you lovingly. 

Five

“I am. But what if I don’t want this to end?” 

Four

“Too late for that, babe, let’s make the most out of this year too.” He kissed the back of your hand and giggled. “Let’s ditch this party first.”

Three

“Please.” You agreed and looked around to spot your friends standing near you with glasses full of champagne.

Two

He brought you closer to him with his hand on the small of your back, lips painfully close to yours.

One

“Happy new year, Y/N.” 

“Happy new year, ‘Tsumu.”  With that said, he gave you a New Year’s kiss you’ll never forget, once again telling you that he was yours. 

And you were his.

(a/n: look who finally came back!! the worst writer ever. so uhm, i literally have no excuse this time, depression has been kicking my ass lately and i had a huge creative block, there was nothing going on in my head, it was just me and mitski against the world. anyways, there you have it, iwaizumi being miserable and a wholesome seijoh reunion without oikawa because he is booked and busy. ALSO !!! ATSUMU!!! WHAT THE HECK MARRY ME IM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM. and no i don’t know what complying to canon is, im sorry kageyama but it was atsumu’s moment to shine, you’ll get it next year... or not. tell me if you liked this chapter, i love reading y’all. i hope everyone is safe and healthy, remember to take time for yourself and that atsumu is the only man ever!!)

masterlist

TAGLIST (closed): @aonenthusiast @wiseeggspickleslime​ @koushisun​ @airheadpillar​ @sunflwrsandprettyskies​ @bbkiyoomi​ @daphnxy​ @shephard17895​ @avatarkyoshithewarrior​ @for-rebloggery​ @vv-bee999-vv vv @fi16ns @asdfghjkl7things @glassykaashi @strawhatshepard @hawkssnugget @msby-kei @toobsessedsstuff @a-moon-fairy @cuteissei @ramblingsofagoofyperson @pinoyrella @kiyoomisimp

#atsumu scenarios #Miya Atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi angst #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #Iwaizumi Hajime #hq anime #hq angst #hq x reader #hq fluff #msby atsumu #msby black jackal #msby bj #bokuto #haikyuu sakusa #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #hq atsumu

[kisskeiji]

6. Love me right.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, mentions of self doubt and spiraling 

The closer the Volleyball Association awards ceremony was, the busier your schedule was, with the end of the season and the team winning their final match your phone wouldn’t stop ringing with reporters from sports magazines and channels trying to get a word from the athletes, the team went on for at least three weeks without a break; everyone was way too exhausted to bear with another interview. You had to travel around the country for away games every other week and the moment you came back home after the season finale you had to jump back into ‘babysitter duty’ supervising the press conferences, television appearances and exclusive interviews. You tried to relieve the soreness of your neck by rubbing it as you walked to the meeting room where everyone including the team waited for you. 

“Please no more interviews, Y/N, we are begging.” Inunaki said as soon as you entered the room. Everyone looked at you with pleading eyes — everyone except Bokuto who was busy stuffing himself with cookies—, you sighed and took your seat next to Imai.

“We are done with your schedule, don’t worry about that.” You said and turned to greet your team, taking the coffee one of your assistants got you and taking a big sip almost forgetting the drink was hot, your face contorted in pain but you tried your best to hide it, you were wide awake now, not from the coffee but from your burnt tongue. 

“Let’s make this quick guys, I think we all want to go home.” Hideko got up from her seat and buttoned her coat. “Season’s over, congratulations on your win, the sponsors and everyone’s pockets are extremely happy.” Everyone laughed at her comment as she kept talking. “I think the promotion period was even more exhausting than the matches for you guys, and we are thankful to all of you because surprisingly no one messed things up, so our headlines are clear.” You nodded along her speech while you reviewed your notes. Hideko thanked the staff and also talked about what was about to come with the new year approaching. “We are holding to our usual holiday agenda, the training grounds and the gym are open if you want to train by yourself but I don’t think coach Foster wants to see your faces for at least a month.” 

“She’s right, please stay away from me.” Coach Foster said massaging the bridge of his nose and the team smiled, they all knew the man cared deeply for them and their well being. Bokuto, who was sitting beside him, gave him a side hug that made him grasp for whatever surface was in front of him. 

“Bokuto, stop tormenting the poor man.” Hideko glared at him. “As you might know, the big night it’s on New Year's eve. Some of the staff is required such as Y/N and her team, me, of course.” She rolled her eyes with her hand on her chest, stating his presence as a given. “And our athletic trainers, so don’t make plans this year. The rest of the staff is invited too but have the option not to go and spend the holiday with their families like normal people.” She sighed, not precisely delighted with the idea of spending new year technically working. 

“I can take care of things if any of you want to go home.” You said to your three assistants and they nodded. 

“Players are allowed to bring a plus one, blah blah blah, you know the drill. Please, you are grown adults and it’s the time of the year you can drink, don’t do something stupid that can end in more work for us.” She took her coffee cup from the table. “Any questions?” She asked before drinking from it, having the same reaction you had earlier to the hot beverage. “That’s really hot, shit.” She cussed.

“Do we have to wear a suit and tie?” Bokuto asked. 

“Yes, Bokuto, it’s a gala.”

“But I don’t know how to tie a tie.” He said, looking at Hideko with sad eyes. 

“Wear a bow one.” She answered without enthusiasm. “Y/N take the lead, I have another meeting with scary people with money.” She really meant the sponsors and the team owners, for someone as fierce and imposing to be intimidated by them meant they were business and one she had to tiptoe around to keep them happy, after meeting them at the team party you understood why she avoided them like the plague. 

“I just have some things to run with you guys and then we can go home, I’m not taking too long.”  You stood up when Hideko left. “No more interviews, your schedule is closed for the rest of the month and I will start booking once we announce the team tryouts on mid January. Like always, I'm not responsible for paparazzi’s but if you get spotted you already know what to do.” Taking a deep breath you continued as you reviewed your notebook. “Regarding the awards, if you win something the interviews are not in my hands, so expect casual interviews the day after. We will be monitoring during the holidays too, so you can call me if something happens.” You looked up to everyone listening to you attentively. 

It felt good, being respected felt good. You were more than thankful for the opportunities you had and for taking the position, specially with the Black Jackals, it was a family in every aspect and you felt welcomed since day one and being recognized for all your work the past six months was enough for you to walk with your head up high again proud of your work and your team. “And lastly, I would like to thank all of you for working so well this season and putting up with the hell sent schedule we had the past month. I think we all did a great job.” You offered a bright smile to everyone in the room. 

“Are you kidding? You saved our asses this season, Y/N! We should be thanking you.” Inunaki said and everyone agreed. 

“That’s true, you did an amazing job since day one.” You looked at Meian who smiled at you fondly. 

“Well, it was a team effort, my girls worked really hard too.” You pointed at your three assistants who looked at you with pink cheeks and shiny eyes. “Well, unless any of you have any questions I think that’s it for today.”  Everyone gathered their belongings and left the meeting room, you went straight to your office to get your purse and lock the place before heading home. 

“Wanna have some lunch with ‘Samu?” You heard Atsumu say. 

“That depends, can I pay for my food?” 

“Not a chance.” He shook his head. “He invited Kita-san and Suna apparently likes you better than me and asked me to invite you.” He explained and you raised a brow. 

“You don’t want me there?” You laid on your desk, hands resting on your sides and legs crosses in front of you, he rolled his eyes and walked closer to you. 

“Of course I do, what are you talking about?” His warm hand caressed your cheek and you held to his wrist moving his hand to rest on your shoulder. “So? You coming or not. If you don’t ‘Samu will be mad at me.” 

“He’s a big boy, he’ll live.” You joked and he poked your side. “Let me lock the place and we can go.” You grabbed your keys from your desk and locked your office, hoping to not have to come back in a few weeks. Sighing, you turned back to see Atsumu holding his car keys and a smug grin, you walked out the training grounds and to the parking lot where some members of the team had a conversation outside their cars, you waved goodbye and Atsumu opened the front seat door for you. 

“Driving her again, Miya?” Barnes asked boarding his own car. 

“Such a gentleman, I’m so proud.” Inunaki followed. 

“Very funny, Inu-san. But no, we are having lunch with my brother.” You couldn’t really hear what they were saying right after he closed the door, but figured that they were still messing with him by Atsumu’s expression. “God, they are so annoying.” He grumbled when he got in the car. 

“Everything okay?” You looked at him in the eye, his brows were furrowed and a few creases showed his frustration and annoyance at his teammates. You ran your thumb across his forehead and smiled. “You are going to get wrinkles before you turn thirty, ‘Tsumu.” His ears turned red at your sudden touch and he tried to hide it by frowning even more. 

“Let’s just go.” He could almost swear his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He started the car engine and maneuvered in reverse turning his head back and his hand intentionally placed on the head rest of your seat. “You have plans for the holidays?” 

“My family is coming for Christmas and we are visiting some relatives not too far from here; and of course the awards, I might travel to Miyagi to see some friends but I’m not sure yet.” You played with the seatbelt as you recounted your plans. “What about you?”

“‘Samu and I are going to Hyogo to see our parents, we usually visit Kita and his grandma with the rest of the team the day after christmas and then Suna and I are driving to Tokyo for the party.” With his body slightly forward making sure there were no other cars, he took the turn to the avenue where Onigiri Miya was located, his finger drummed on the gear shift to the music from the radio. 

“Osamu is not going to the party?” You questioned. 

“He gave vacations to all of his employees and has to take care of the shop.” He explained and stopped the car in front of the shop. “I'm starving.” You took your seatbelt off and opened the door at the same time as him, not giving him time to open the door for you like he always did, but he was faster than you and opened the entrance door. It was almost noon so the shop was quite busy, people in the stalls and booths enjoying their food and talking about their days, the constant sound of silverware jingling and the smell of fresh rice welcomed you into the shop as you walked to the counter where Suna’s slouched figure waited. Atsumu greeted him with a pat on his back, making Suna turn around to shake hands and ‘bro hug’ him. “Where 's ‘Samu? 

“The kitchen, he should be done by now. Hi, Y/N.” Suna pushed Atsumu to the side and grinned at you lazily. 

“Hey Suna, I haven’t seen you since the match in Sendai.”  Like Hana, Suna got along with you pretty fast, you caught up with his sarcastic humor and easy going personality, he showed you a lot of photos from his high school memories, he was a great story teller, never missing embarrassing details and adding snarky comments here and there. On said match at Sendai, you finally figured out why he looked so familiar the first time you met him. It turns out he went to the same university as you and you interviewed the middle blocker once for an article when you were a journalist for your school’s newspaper. When you told him he laughed at you saying he already knew but wanted to see how long it would take you to figure it out.

“Well, you’ve been busy.” He looked to the side, his tone was bitter, the taste of defeat lingering on his tongue after losing the finals to the Black Jackals. 

“Don’t be a sore loser, Suna.” You said taking the seat by his side, almost missing his jaw clenching. “Losing is normal, you don’t have to feel bad about it.” You teased. 

“You are not going to let me live that one down, aren’t you?”  

“Absolutely not.” You looked at Atsumu this time, he was looking at his phone screen clearly bored, he was extremely moody when hungry, that’s something you learnt during the season when he would go quiet for hours and back to his usual self once he had something to eat. “You okay?” You asked and he laid his head on your shoulder. 

“I’m hungry.” He groaned. You gave him a few pats on the side of his face and felt his body relax to your touch as you continued your chat with Suna. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Osamu chimed in coming out of the kitchen, making his brother get up instantly. “Food is almost ready, before you ask.” 

“Perfect timing.” You heard a stern voice behind you and all three tensed, you looked behind you to see Kita removing his cap. “I need some help with the rice bags, mind helping me?”  Atsumu and Osamu made their way to the door and to Kita’s truck in no time, Kita trailing behind. 

“Why do you guys look so scared?” You asked Suna. 

“Are you kidding? Kita popped out of nowhere!” Suna whispered, as if Kita could hear him from outside the shop. “He’s really scary sometimes.” You rolled your eyes. Kita was intimidating and really severe, but not enough to make you shiver.

“You only say that because you guys always do something to upset him.” 

“That’s not true.” He exclaimed. 

“Nothing to hide, nothing to fear, dear.” The restaurant doors opened, showing Atsumu and Osamu fighting to get in first, pushing each other, Suna and you watched unamused, knowing one of them would get hurt sooner or later, you were now used to their sometimes not so playful fighting. Just as you were placing your bet with Suna, they stopped on their tracks and Osamu stepped back to let Atsumu walk in. “What just happened?” You asked yourself rather than Suna, Kita stood behind the twins , Atsumu walked past you and lifted the countertop door, leaving the rice bag on the cold table. You heard Osamu mumble ‘I’m sorry, Kita-san.’ from the door and went straight to the kitchen. You couldn’t believe how easily he made the twins calm down. 

“Sorry about that.” Kita apologized to you. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m already used to it.” You said calmly. Kita and Atsumu sat down and Osamu came out of the kitchen with another server, one plate of onigiri on each hand. You thanked him and the server who gave you a water bottle. Atsumu, as impatient as he was, scarfed down the extremely hot onigiri and immediately opened his mouth, steam came out from it and he whined in pain, placing his hand under his chin to prevent food from spilling. Everyone watched him jump on his seat chanting ‘hot, hot, hot’  as he tried to chew the rice ball, you giggled and opened his water bottle for him, when he finally swallowed his food he exhaled in relief and gulped down half of the contents from the plastic bottle. 

“Where are your manners, Atsumu? You can’t do that kind of thing in front of the girl you are courting.”  Kita reprimanded him and Atsumu choked on his water, little droplets spilling on the counter. Suna and Osamu couldn’t stop laughing at the setter — you were laughing too, but you felt bad for Atsumu— you made sure he wasn’t choking anymore and excused yourself to the bathroom, ears burning from Kita’s comment. “What was that?” Atsumu’s eyes almost popped out of his face. 

“What?” Kita asked, unbothered. 

“The girl you are courting? Really?” Atsumu stressed running his hands through his hair. 

“Well, aren’t you?” Kita inquired. 

“Yes! But it sounds weird when you say it like that.” Embarrassed, Atsumu rested his head on the counter looking at  Suna’s direction, Osamu wiped the wet surface and yanked Atsumu’s hair lightly to make him sit correctly as you joined them again, asking him if he felt better, he nodded and moved closer to you. As always, Osamu’s food was amazing and you had fun messing with Suna and Osamu, so much that you didn’t noticed the moment they all started planning the next reunion at your place, claiming that it was your initiation as the newest addition to the group, but you knew they just were nosy, even Kita was curious to know where you lived, so you couldn’t say no. 

You waited outside the restaurant with Kita who insisted on keeping you company while Atsumu and Suna helped Osamu with something in the back. “How are things going between you two?” He asked, completely aware of how vague the question was, just wanting to test the waters. You gulped and met his eyes.

“Atsumu and I? Uh, fine, I guess.” You answered uncertainly, tilting your head.

“He’s taking too long.” He asserted with his arms crossed.

“I guess you are right, but I don’t want to rush anything or make him feel like he has to do something when I could easily take the first step, but I’m afraid he’s not sure yet.” You rambled in your place, Kita grinned and looked away. “You meant inside the shop, right?” His grin widened at your question and you huffed in frustration. “That was not funny.” 

“I didn’t do anything, but now that you got that out of your system, I think that’s a conversation you should have with Atsumu. It’s almost painful seeing you two being limited by a simple title when you can fix that rather easily, I don’t know what’s stopping you.” He pondered. 

‘A lot of things.’ You thought. You fixed your eyes on the glass door, you could see Atsumu coming out of the kitchen along with his brother, he looked upset, dragging his feet with every step like a kicked puppy. “Think about it.” That was Kita’s final remark before Atsumu walked out the door, you waved goodbye to Osamu and Kita and walked to Atsumu’s car, feeling a familiar numbness on your limbs and the stinging sensation on your head increased with every passing minute. 

Kita’s words were crude, but you were sure he meant no harm, but even so, the last thing you wanted to do was thinking about the stage of your pseudo-relationship with Atsumu, the reality check tied to it was terrifying. You didn’t want to ruin everything, afraid of not being what he wanted but what he settled for, —or even worse, a distraction— you tried to shrug it all away, but it was hard to believe after all you went through. The thought of not being enough was enough to make you shiver, muscle memory taking you back to the time where you lost yourself to the viciousness of your own brain and it’s deprecating self speech of unworthiness and pity. 

You were stronger now, yes, but at what cost? You now lacked trust and silently craved reassurance or a sign that you were doing things right for yourself this time. 

Staring at the road lost in your thought you couldn’t hear Atsumu calling your name, you felt a big hand on your knee, moving it slightly to get your attention. “Are you okay?” He was clearly worried, luckily the traffic light turned red, you turned your head and stared at him confused. “You are a bit out of it since we left the restaurant.”

“Sorry, I was just thinking. You said something?” 

“I was saying that my building’s management called and said the complex is out of power and that it would take a few hours to fix the problem, and I asked you if I could stay with you for a few hours.” He repeated himself. 

“Sure, it’s still really early, we can watch a movie if you want to.” You offered trying to ease the tension. “Anything but Fast and Furious.” 

“Come on! They are amazing.” He protested. The light turned green and he moved the car.

“We watch them every time you are at my place.” You complained. “Let’s watch something else, it’s getting old.” Atsumu gasped, offended by your comment. 

“Terminator then.” He laughed at your annoyed expression and kept driving ‘til you reached your building’s parking lot. You changed your clothes while Atsumu picked the movie. He was really worried about you, what happened at the restaurant? He texted Kita asking if you said something or looked uncomfortable while he was being lectured by Osamu and Suna. ‘You need to talk.’ was Kita’s reply, sighing he left his phone on the coffee table and waited for you to come out of your room. 

‘I don’t know what game you are playing here, but don’t waste that girl’s time.’

Osamu’s words replayed in his head. Was he really taking too long? He knew the answer to that question, but uncertainty always fogged his thinking, and a thousand other questions creeped inside, making it harder for him to tell you how much he needed you. How much would things change if the unspoken pact you two created turned into a real talk, would you stay? 

He was not afraid of commitment, he was afraid that he never committed to anything that wasn’t volleyball, he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend but he knew he wanted to be yours. You never treated him differently and cared enough to see past the bad reputation he had, you cared about him. He got used to your nature but oftentimes forgot about how important stability can be, you weren’t teenagers anymore and sooner or later you would get tired. He had all the intentions, but just like you, the fear of not being enough held him back. 

You were scared of being replaced and he was scared to hurt you. 

“What are we watching?” You sat by his side and crossed your legs. You were now wearing a hoodie with the team logo and signature claw scratches, sweatpants and your hair was tied in a high ponytail. 

“I couldn’t pick one, so you choose.” He passed you the remote and laid back on the couch. You ended up watching Bride Wars, the two of you had terrible taste in movies so you alway went for the safe options, and you always ended up chatting halfway through and not paying attention to the film. 

“She deserves better than Fletcher anyway.” Atsumu played with your hair as the movie credits appeared on the screen, your back was on his chest raising slightly with his steady breathing. 

“She really did, she settled because she felt pressured.” You held his hand and interlocked his fingers with yours. 

“What do you mean?” He looked down at your hands now connected and smiled to himself. 

“When you spend that many years with someone you think the only reasonable thing is to stay forever with them, and sometimes that’s not what you want, but that realization comes really late, look at her, she was about to get married when she came to her senses, she was getting married because it was what everyone expected her to do, she had to convince herself she wanted it, that she wanted him.” You explained. “He made things hard for her, and still she tried to make it work for both of them, it wasn’t fair for her.” Atsumu hummed in agreement and noticed how your tone decreased with every word. You went silent for a while lost in your thoughts again. 

“You’ve been acting weird since we left the restaurant. What 's going on?” He asked, shifting in his place trying to get a better look of your face, your eyes were glossy and your brows slightly furrowed. 

“I don’t know.” You sighed heavily. “I’m scared.”  You played with the strings of your hoodie. “I don’t want to feel like someone just settled for me again.” You continued, fighting the memories from last year when you felt his arms tightening around you. “I don’t want to go through that again, I got so used to giving more than I could, to trying to do my best and beyond and still that wasn’t enough, I wasn’t enough.” You weren’t crying, there was nothing to cry about in the first place, you were just tired of battling your inner thoughts, you wanted a break.

“Don’t say that, your ex was an idiot for letting you go. Y/N, you are the most caring and dedicated person I’ve ever met, if anything, you were the one who settled for someone who couldn’t give his everything for you.” He felt the vibrations of your body as you chuckled. 

“Yeah, my friends always tell me that.”  He kissed your temple gently.

“See? He was just a scrub.”  ‘And I would treat you so much better.’

“Sorry I got too emotional.” You looked up and he placed another kiss on your forehead. 

“Don’t apologize for having feelings, it’s normal.” You raised an eyebrow and tried to break free from his embrace to rest your chin on his chest. “What?” He asked. 

“I never expected you to say something like that, you are very wary of showing your feelings.” You pointed out, running a hand through his blonde hair and he poked your side making you laugh, it was your turn to peck his chin. You enjoyed the comfortable silence that set between you two, propping your head on his chest close enough to hear his heart beating, eyes closed in bliss. You were safe. 

“I’m sorry for being too slow.” He said. “I think it’s obvious I like you, and while I enjoy what we have now, you deserve clarity and I need to get this out of my chest.” He made you sit correctly,  you lightly stretched your limbs as you got up. Atsumu took your hand and played with your fingers trying to word his thoughts. “I’m scared too. I’ve never been in a relationship and I didn’t know how to talk to you about this, I thought maybe you weren’t looking for something serious, especially with me, you know? But I like to think we are on the same page now.” You nodded and he continued. “Give me a few days, let me make it special for you to see I’m serious about this, and that I want to treat you better, please.” His eyes finally met yours. 

“Take all the time you need, ‘Tsumu, I think I need some time too and  I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything.”  

“You are not, stop saying that. I want this.” He grumbled frustrated.

“Me too.” You kissed the back of his hand and he hugged you again. You watched another silly rom-com and talked about the party a little more before Atsumu received a call from his building’s management to notify him that the power was restored, it was around 7 p.m. so he got ready to leave, with his keys in one hand and his phone in his pocket he walked to the door with you following behind. “I’ll see you at the party then.” 

“That’s a lot of time.” He complained.

“Stop whining, it’s just two weeks.”  You scrunched your nose when he bent down to kiss it.

“I’ll call you everyday if I can’t see you.” He smirked. 

“Please do.” You rolled your eyes. He puckered his lips, waiting for his mandatory goodbye kiss but you took the chance to pinch his lips with your fingers making him instantly step back. “Good night, ‘Tsumu.” You said before he could say anything and closed your door. A muffled ‘That’s not fair.’ could be heard from the other side, Atsumu stared at your door, he tensed his jaw and shook his head for a second. He couldn’t hide the lovesick grin adorning his face as he walked to his car. 

He had two very long weeks ahead.   

(a/n: uh hELLO, this chapter ruined all my planning but i think those two are really cute, now QUICK QUESTION, would you like to see what iwaizumi aka mr. cheater is up to??? maybe?? no??? you guys tell me! i have the wip but idk if y’all would like to see it, i’ll be reading y’all. anyways, remember the fic has a playlist and y’all can check it out, also if you have song recs to add i would love to hear them!! i hope everyone is healthy and doing great at school or work :)) please stay safe and wear your masks!!) 

masterlist

TAGLIST (closed): @aonenthusiast @wiseeggspickleslime​ @koushisun​ @airheadpillar​ @sunflwrsandprettyskies​ @bbkiyoomi​ @daphnxy​ @shephard17895​ @avatarkyoshithewarrior​ @for-rebloggery​ @vv-bee999-vv vv @fi16ns @asdfghjkl7things @glassykaashi @strawhatshepard @hawkssnugget @msby-kei @toobsessedsstuff @a-moon-fairy @cuteissei @ramblingsofagoofyperson @pinoyrella @kiyoomisimp

#Miya Atsumu #atsumu x you #atsumu x reader #atsumu scenarios #msby atsumu #iwaizumi x reader #Iwaizumi Hajime #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi x you #hq angst #msby black jackal #msby bj #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!

[kisskeiji]

5. Lifeboats.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, alcohol consumption,suggestive (but not really)

“So you’re telling me that you are going to Miya’s high school reunion because he wanted you to meet his friends?” Oikawa took a sip from his mug after asking with an inquiring tone. You were getting ready for Atsumu and Osamu to pick you up, fighting the urge to cancel on them but it was out of the question, they were supposed to be at your door in less than twenty minutes. 

“Yes, and I’m close to rip my hair off.” You ran your fingers through your hair and huffed.

“You look pretty with your hair down Y/N!” Bokuto assured you. “Right, love?” He asked Akaashi who turned back and nodded in agreement. Oikawa thought it was a good idea to invite them to the call for “emotional support” but in reality they were just making fun of you and your current crisis, Akaashi and Oikawa were a dangerous combo. You brushed your hair down and stared at yourself in the mirror. ‘What am I even doing?’ You couldn’t think of anything except how awkward things could get and many different ways you could mess up at dinner. 

“You look constipated, Y/N-chan.” Oikawa mocked. He was lucky he was on the other side of the world. “I know what you are thinking and turning that invitation down is not an option.”  You hated how easy he could read you, but considering your current state and how heavy you were breathing trying to calm yourself it wasn’t hard to know how anxious you were. You thought it was ridiculous, Atsumu was being a good friend, you weren’t going out alone and it was just dinner with his friends. Why were you so uneasy? 

“I never thought Miya would like Y/N.” Akaashi teased. 

“He doesn’t like me, he is trying to be nice, and what does that even mean? You are not helping, Keiji.” You retorted and the three men laughed at you. “It’s going to be awkward, why would he invite me to a high school reunion?” 

“Didn’t he say something about Ojiro's girlfriend? She is really funny! And Ojiro is a nice guy, I promise you there’s never an awkward moment with them.” Bokuto encouraged you and you smiled, but the list of things that could go wrong was still present on your mind. You talked for a few more minutes while you added the final touches to your make up and sprayed perfume on your wrists and the back of your ears. Your phone screen lit up showing a message from Atsumu saying they were outside. 

“They are here.” You announced and looked at your laptop.

“Go have fun, Y/N, you can drink wine with someone other than me.” Akaashi held his glass up for you to see. “I already started.” 

“Don’t drink too much.” You warned. “I’ll talk to you guys later.” They wished you luck and ended the call.You roamed through your apartment looking for your purse and keys. You locked the door and walked down the hallway to the elevator, your hands were sweating a little and you swore your eye just twitched. You always struggled with meeting new people and the circumstances of this meeting did everything ten times more awkward. Again, what were you thinking when you agreed? Nothing, exactly, just the look on Atsumu’s eyes and how even in the dark they shined with expectation. You couldn’t turn him down. 

You spotted Atsumu waiting for you resting his weight on his car, arms crossed and hair carefully styled. Your mouth almost dropped at the sight, you always see him in gym clothes or the team uniform, trying to keep your walk steady, you focused your attention and how uncomfortable your shoes were — It was an impulse buy, but they were so cute you told yourself you could endure the pain. Atsumu waved at you and opened the door right before you reached his car. “Hey.” He said almost sighing. He was just as stunned as you but wasn’t really trying to hide it. You noticed how he checked you out at first glance but stopped himself halfway trying to keep his cool. 

“Hi.” You greeted nervously and looked away, noticing Osamu on the backseat. “Hi, Osamu.” He had a lazy grin on his face and his hands rested on his knees before he waved at you. “You can take the front seat if you want to.” You offered. 

“No!” Atsumu was quick to respond for his brother, earning a curious look from you. “I mean, he already offered to take the backseat for you! Right, ‘Samu?” He looked at his twin hoping for him to play along. It was not like Atsumu forced him to sit on the back right before you walked out of your building. 

“ ‘Tsumu is right. It would have been impolite from us to have you sit on the back.” Once again,  Osamu saved his brother’s ass from an awkward situation. If only you knew that Atsumu was just as nervous as you and Osamu teasing him nonstop was not helping his case. He went from excited to a pit of nerves in less than twenty minutes. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea to have you meet his friends on your first date, especially when Osamu and Suna were going to be there. Did he just say date?  It was definitely not a date, but it felt like so. Everyone would think you two were dating when you just met a little bit over a month ago. He didn’t think this through, but it was too late, you were already in his car sitting right beside him on your way to Aran’s house having a small talk with his brother about his week in the restaurant. 

“You are going to get along well with Hana-san, you have the same dry sense of humor as her.” Osamu said, running his hand through his hair. 

“What do you mean? My sense of humor is not dry at all.” You looked back, clearly offended. “Atsumu, is my sense of humor dry?” You asked now looking at him. He smiled and tried to avoid the question. 

“I’m driving, I can’t answer.”

“You drive with your mouth?” You deadpanned and both men laughed. 

“See?” Osamu said as if he was proving a point.

“See what? You clearly can’t differentiate sarcasm from dry humor.” You crossed your arms and huffed. 

“If it makes you feel better I think you are funny.” Atsumu nudged your arm once he reached the stop sign and you almost gave in and smiled. 

“I don’t need your pity, Miya.” You looked through your window, trying to ignore his playful gaze and the grin plastered on Atsumu’s face. He knew what you were doing so he poked your side making you jolt on your seat. You were ready to poke him back when the red light turned green. 

“I’ll get my revenge later.” You announced making him laugh. Osamu watched the whole thing from his seat. ‘I feel like I am interrupting something.’ He thought and smiled to himself, the unfamiliar feeling of third wheeling taking over at the sight of his brother having fun with you. Once again, it felt like you met years ago, maybe because Atsumu would never shut up about you or how bright he smiled at you, it was just right. Like Bokuto, Osamu started thinking that his brother and you would look good together. The fun was cut short when Atsumu pulled over in front of Aran's house, he asked you to wait for him to open the door for you. 

“Chivalry is not dead.” Osamu whispered to his brother who just elbowed him to shut him up. You three walked to the door and Atsumu rang the bell. “You look like you want to throw up.” The gray haired twin said and you let out all the air you were holding in. 

“You have such a way with words.” You leaned on your right side and remembered Bokuto’s words, they were nice people, you shouldn’t stress too much. After a few seconds a man with gray hair and dark tips opened the door. 

“Kita-san!” Atsumu cheered. Kita greeted them both and exchanged a few words, you fading in the back without really listening to their conversation and waiting awkwardly when you heard Atsumu say: “This is my friend Y/N.”  You adjusted your purse under your arm and bowed with your head, Kita returned the gesture and reached to shake your hand. 

“Pleasure to meet you.” Blood rushed to your ears under his intense gaze, he looked so calm and put together, but his brown eyes were definitely intimidating. “Come on in, Aran and Hana are busy in the kitchen.” You walked in first and took your shoes off and looked around spotting two men sitting on the couch having a small talk. “The twins are here.” Kita announced and both of them turned their attention to the ex-volleyball captain. 

“Late as always.” The one with silver hair joked, Atsumu and Osamu  walked past you to greet their old teammates with a hug. 

“We are not late, you came here too early.” Atsumu retorted. “Y/N this is Ginjima and the one about to stick his tongue down to my brother’s throat is Suna.” Before you could introduce yourself Suna smacked the back of Atsumu’s head. 

“You are so vulgar.” Atsumu rubbed the spot where Suna had hit him trying to sooth the pain. Suna looked familiar for some reason. Narrow eyes and tall figure, you must have seen him somewhere. You didn’t failed to notice Osamu’s arm sneaking around Suna’s waist, that’s when you realized you sure looked dumb standing there staring at the five men in front of you, but could they blame you? They were towering over you. The scene was terrifying from an outside view, lucky for you the house owners walked out the kitchen to welcome you. 

“What are you guys doing to this poor girl?” A tall woman asked standing right beside you. “You must be Y/N! I’m Hana, I am so excited to finally meet you after the twins came in talking nonstop about you.” She extended her hand for you to shake. 

“They did?” You smiled and felt a reassuring squeeze on your hand, an unspoken ‘I am here.’ Her presence was warm just like her smile. “Y/N L/N, they also told me a lot about you, it is a pleasure to meet you.”  

“I know the twins are already a handful, but when they are all together is a disaster, you can have all the wine you need.” She whispered in your ear and you two shared a laugh.

 “See, Aran-kun? I told you they were going to get along well.” Atsumu sat on the couch and crossed his legs. Right, you still haven’t greeted him, you looked around and found him standing behind Hana. ‘Way to go.’  

“I am so sorry.” You bowed. “ Thank you so much for having me tonight.”  

“Thank you for coming. Please make yourself at home.” He bowed back before Ginjima and Atsumu jumped on him to give him a hug. “Come on, we saw each other last week.” He said, taking a step back to support the weight of the two men. 

“The twins mentioned that you were a bartender back then! We just finished our new bar, wanna see?” Hana asked. You nodded and spared a glance to the rest of the boys in the room and excused yourself to follow Hana. She guided you to the kitchen and you noticed the racks hanging beside the lightbox displaying the wine glasses, the warm lighting made the wide place feel more cozy despite the minimalist decorations. “Here it is, Aran knows nothing about wine or liquor but one of his teammates has a bar, so he decided we needed one.” She opened a cabinet revealing a collection of bottles and a wine cooler. 

“Really? But you have such a nice selection here.” You peaked through the fridge glass to see the bottles tempering. “It was a good decision then, it is so pretty.” When you looked at Hana she had her arms crossed and a faint smile on her face. 

“Don’t let him hear you, it will get to his head.” 

“I heard that!” Aran entered the kitchen. “So, what do you think about my baby?” He walked closer to where you were standing, looking at his collection proudly, Hana rolled her eyes and elbowed him. 

“I was just telling Hana-san that your collection was really nice, you have good taste.” His smile grew wider and he thanked you. 

“Too much for someone who can’t drink ten out of twelve months a year.” Hana added and Aran side hugged her and kissed her temple. You smiled at the sight but something made you avert your gaze back to the cabinet, this time focusing on the gold utensils nicely displayed at the bottom. “You can touch, it won’t bite.” Hana said. “And I won’t complain if you make some cocktails.” She inched closer to you and nudged your shoulder making you laugh. 

“We’ll see.” You helped Hana to set the charcuterie boards on the kitchen island, and Aran insisted on you choosing the wine since most of them couldn’t drink, having a small chat with both of them and getting to know each other you learned that they were together since high school and were actually engaged but no plans were made yet since Aran’s career was still starting and they wanted to wait a little more. They worked together so well, not only with each other but their space, the house matched their energy perfectly, they gave you the familiarity you craved ever since you moved. For the first time in a month you were not alone on a friday night downing whatever alcohol you had in hand, and you were thankful for their company, in the end — like always— Bokuto was right, they were nice people.

“We are starving over here!” Osamu yelled. 

“That sounds like a personal problem!” Hana yelled back without looking away from the cutting board. The other five men joined shortly after and took their seats on the stools. You were facing away from them, pouring a mix of alcohol and lime juice in two glass cups you previously filled with ice and sharing a laugh with Hana before she asked you to sit down, you didn’t notice Atsumu’s eyes lingering on you as you sat down on the stool beside him. The others were already eating from the boards and talking about their days, you listened attentively and nodded from time to time, you liked listening to people without necessarily sharing your thoughts, it was easier to avoid talking about your past. It was your turn to look at Atsumu while he excitedly talked about whatever he did at practice with Bokuto and Sakusa; but this time he felt your eyes on him. Doing a double take, the moment his eyes met yours he tripped on his words but recovered quickly.  

After twenty minutes or so, you noticed how Atsumu was only eating the cheese cubes from the boards and you laughed. “You are supposed to mix the flavours, not eating all the cheese.” He looked at you confused. 

“But I don’t know what to do with all of these, why would you mix jam with cream cheese? And what the fuck is this?” He asked, pointing at the honeycomb.

“I’m gonna start believing you have the taste buds of a five year old.”  You took the butter knife and a slice of bread from the board to carefully cut a piece of cheese and spread it on top of the bread.

“That’s not true. What are you doing?” You didn’t answer, too busy trying to cut into the honeycomb with a spoon and finally placing it on the bread along with a slice of strawberry on top of it. You brought the slice of bread near his mouth and he looked at you, then the food in front of him and then back at you not knowing what to do.

“Hurry up, the honey is dripping on my fingers.” He opened his mouth and took a bite, reaching for the uneaten piece to hold it so you could wipe the honey off your fingers, his flustered state was quickly replaced by the flavors melting on his mouth. His eyes widened as he looked at you. 

“Wait, that was actually really good.” He hummed and ate the other piece as you smiled softly. “Can you make another one? For me.” His eyes shining still delighted with the flavors lingering on his mouth. You kept handing him different mixes of textures and flavors, all of this under Hana and Aran’s gaze, mesmerized by your chemistry. “Okay that one I didn’t like.” Atsumu wiped his mouth. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t really looking.” You said having a bite for yourself. 

“My turn.” He said with the butter knife in one hand. You were nervous, his choices were a bit odd and you didn’t wanted to spit it out as soon as you bite into it. “Say ah.” He held his creation and you hesitated to get closer. “Hurry up, the honey is dripping on my fingers.” He mocked your previous words using them against you. 

“Very funny.” You narrowed your eyes finally opening your mouth and biting into it, it wasn’t until you started to chew that you could assimilate the flavors on your mouth, you couldn’t quite place them but it tasted good, looking back to Atsumu’s hand analyzing whatever he put on top of the bread slice. “It 's good.” 

“Just good?” You took the other part from his hand and he pushed himself back to stretch a little bit. 

“I mean, for a roasted tomato, peach jam and aged cheese; it’s great.” You cleaned your fingers once again and he just mumbled something about you being the one with childish taste buds. Everyone was aware of what was going on between you two but decided to keep the conversation going while you and Atsumu had your charcuterie expert moment. Osamu looked at his brother having a good time without necessarily causing ruckus or being loud, just genuinely enjoying himself. 

“Is there something going on between those two?” Suna whispered to him. 

“I have no idea.” He took a good sip of his wine and smiled at his boyfriend. “But Atsumu acts different when they are together.”

“Well, duh, look at him! He looks like a highschooler in love.” Ginjima intervened and the three of them laughed looking at Atsumu. You noticed the three pairs of eyes on you and pointed at them for Atsumu to pay attention to his friends. 

“What?” He asked and none of them said a thing. 

“Dinner is ready!” Aran announced and Hana called for you, asking if you were up to another round of margaritas. You agreed, trying to get away from the curious stares from Atsumu’s friends and brother; you walked straight to the bar to take the bottles of triple sec and tequila from the shelfs, she handed you the cups you were using already filled with ice. Atsumu was completely focused on your swift moves and the way you carefully poured the transparent liquor on the measuring cup and then the shaker. When you finished straining the drink on the two cups, Suna and Kita started asking you questions about your previous job and how it was working at a bar while Aran and Osamu served and garnished the plates. 

The rest of the night went well, way better than you thought. You exchanged numbers with Hana and made plans to go out for lunch the following week, you got along really well from the beginning and she said you were really fun to be around and complimented your mixology skills by saying you did the best margaritas she ever had. After saying goodbye to everyone and thanking the couple for the good time you and Atsumu left without Osamu since he went back home with Suna to spend the weekend together  before he had to come back to Osaka on Monday. You were now at your door with Atsumu, he claimed that he wanted to make sure you made it home safe but he just wanted to use the restroom. You let him in and told him where the guest bathroom was before taking your shoes off and walking to your bedroom looking for a hair tie. 

When he came back from the restroom your phone started to ring. “Someone’s calling you.” He said. 

“Can you see who it is? It’s probably my friend Oikawa.I’ll be out in a second” You yelled from your room. It was an unknown number but he still picked up. 

“Y/N?” The person on the other side of the line asked as soon as he pressed the phone on his right ear. 

“Uh, no, she is in her room right now but can I help you with something?”  The call was cut short. ‘Weird.’ Atsumu thought, he placed your phone back on the counter when you joined him again, this time with your hair tied in a messy ponytail with a few strands of hair framing your face. You looked beautiful.

“So, was it Oikawa?” 

“Well, I don’t know, it was an unknown number and they hung up as soon as they heard my voice. Probably a prank call.” He said making his way to the door with you trailing behind. 

“That’s weird.” You said before opening the door. “I had a lot of fun tonight, Atsumu, thank you.” You leaned on the door frame. 

“Would you like to do it again sometime? I mean, hanging out, I had fun too.” You were startled at his question. “As friends, of course.” He was quick to add and something inside you twisted in disappointment. You looked at him, towering over you with his overwhelming height and broad shoulders, he sure looked good.

“Sure, why not.” That came out more bitter than you expected. “Good night, Atsumu.”

‘Fuck it.’ Atsumu thought before taking a step closer to you and placing his left hand on your lower back, you didn’t dare to move waiting for his next move, in a matter of seconds his lips were on yours and your hands on his biceps trying to support yourself on him while he busied himself setting the pace of the kiss; slow and steady, making sure you knew that he fucked up the last part. “Do friends kiss each other like that, Miya?” You asked playfully when he parted away from your lips. 

“We can be really close friends.” He kissed you again, this time it was shorter but he still managed to take your breath away. “I have to go now.” He said after one too many kisses at your door, lips slightly swollen and eyes shimmering. 

“Text me when you get home.” You fixed his hair and gave him one last kiss on his cheek before he left. You checked the number that called before, not recognizing it at first glance you locked your phone, maybe Atsumu was right and someone was just trying to prank call you. Once you were in bed ready to sleep, a text from Oikawa lit up your phone screen asking for details, you sighed and turned it off. You tried to avoid your friends' questions all weekend, giving vague details and not mentioning that you made out with Atsumu for almost twenty minutes at the end of the night, you were not ready for them to tease you nonstop. 

-

“Y/N?” Iwaizumi asked, waiting to hear your voice from the other side of the line.

“Uh, no, she is in her room right now but can I help you with something?” A male voice answered. His insides twisted as panic took over his senses and immediately hung up. You were with someone else.

“What happened?” Hanamaki entered the kitchen, he saw Iwaizumi holding his phone in one hand and the landline on the other. “What are you doing with my phone?” It took him a few seconds before realizing. He grabbed his phone from Iwaizumi’s hand and saw your number displayed on the screen. “You called her?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me she was back.” Iwaizumi was angry, but so was Hanamaki. Did he really just ask that? 

“Because she asked us not to tell you, and we are trying to get our friend back, or do I need to remind you that she stopped talking to us because of you.” He stared at Iwaizumi coldly. 

“Shut up, that’s not fair.” 

“Not fair for who? For you? Get fucked Hajime, you act as if you were the victim in this situation. Maybe learn to respect other people’s privacy and stop trying to call her, she is over you.” With that Takahiro walked past him and made his way to his room. Tears threatening to spill from Iwaizumi’s eyes, a frustrated sigh left his lips as he ran his hands through his hair. 

You were over him. Just the thought of you forgetting about him made his chest hurt, still heavy with guilt. You were over him, and even worse, you were already with someone else.

-

The next few weeks were hectic, the season started and the team had a winning streak, the schedules were full and you received endless calls from magazines and sport channels. You were exhausted but happy to be occupied and your team made your work much easier. For the first time that week everyone was able to take it slower; the medical team went home earlier and the players were practicing by themselves while you and one of your assistants patiently waited for an email from the volleyball association. “So I heard you and Miya-senshu are really close lately.” You looked up from your phone and smiled. 

“Yeah, we are good friends.” You giggled. 

“I don’t understand how you get along so well with him, every time I work with him he acts like a diva.” She said adjusting her glasses on the bridge of her nose, you scrunched your nose in confusion; Atsumu was a genuinely nice guy, but it was true that he wasn’t easy to approach.

“Well, the spotlight was meant for him, he has a magnetic personality that makes everyone around him take an interest on him, but he is not the best at managing all of the attention. He is human too, you know? He knows what everyone thinks of him, so he reciprocates that perception without being aware of it. Maybe if you treated him like a normal person he would show a nicer side of him because he won’t feel like you are expecting him to be a complete asshole.” You explained as simple as  you could, she looked at you as if you had a third eye. It made sense, but before she could thank you for the advice your monitor screen refreshed, showing the email you were waiting for; the nominees for the Volleyball Association Awards. Reading carefully the names and the date of the ceremony you headed to the gym to break the news to the players along with your assistant. 

“I have good news!” You said as soon as you opened the gym doors. 

“Y/N!” Bokuto ran to you. “What is going on?” He asked, trying to peek on your clipboard. 

“The volleyball association sent the names of the nominees for this year’s awards.” You announced and waited for everyone to gather around you. “The team is nominated for best division one line up.” Everyone cheered in excitement. “Bokuto and Sakusa for best newcomers, Meian-senshu for best middle blocker and finally, Atsumu and Inunaki-senshu are nominated for setter and libero of the year.” They congratulated each other with side hugs and high-fives. “Also, Thomas-senshu was requested to be one of the hosts for the  ceremony.” 

“For real?” His eyes widened in surprise. 

“Yes, they loved your appearances on the sports channel, they are going to send Hideko the details later so make sure to check them with her later.” He nodded and Meian patted his back a little bit too hard. “Congratulations to all of you, once the nominations are available to the public we are expecting a few interviews but we are going to try to keep them short until the end of the season in november, please be mindful of your interactions with the press, one mistake can cost you the award.” After another round of cheering you and your assistant took your leave. 

“We can go celebrate later.” Atsumu held your wrist before you exited the gym, he raised his brows trying to convince you. 

“I would love to, but I have plans with Hana-san.” He pouted. “Maybe tomorrow if you are not planning to practice all day like always.” 

“Hana is always stealing you away from me.” He complained playing with your fingers. “You are always hanging out with her” 

“Weren’t you the one who wanted me to be friends with her?” 

“Yes! But now is different.” He whined. 

“What changed?” You asked, knowing the answer very well. The expression on his face begged you to not make him say it as he loosened his grip on your hand. “We’ll talk later, okay? I need to go home if I want to be on time.” He hesitated but agreed in the end.

“No goodbye kiss?”  He asked and you looked around to make sure you were alone, the rest of the team also left the gym to get changed and go home and there was no one to be seen on the hallway, so you inched closer to him until you were breathing on his lips, he closed his eyes waiting for you to kiss him. 

“No.” You said and ran as fast as you could to your office, ignoring Atsumu’s whining from behind. You decided you wouldn't let him have his way with you this time, at least until he was clear with what he wanted. While it was true that you spent a lot of time together after that night at Aran’s house, not a word about the nature of your relationship was spoken, it was a silent agreement between the two of you, you clearly liked each other but you were still scared to jump into a relationship of any kind and Atsumu wasn’t really open about his intentions, so you decided that each other’s company was enough. That until your feelings for the setter started to change from a childish crush to something deeper that you couldn’t explain — more like, you were scared to admit.— and that was constantly on your mind.

And it wasn’t that Atsumu wanted to play with your feelings, he was just as scared as you, he never really committed to a relationship because he was so focused on his career as a volleyball player. But you made everything easier and it just felt right, he wanted to come clean and tell you how much he truly liked you but he didn’t knew how. He thought he was going too fast, but if he waited for too long you would forget about him. What if you weren’t looking for something serious with him? Truth is, you didn’t knew what you were looking for, but something about Atsumu made you believe that maybe this was a second chance for you to find happiness. 

But you wouldn’t know unless one of you gathered the courage to admit you were helplessly in love.

(a/n: hey everyone! im finally back after so long, im really excited to post this chapter since i finally got a hang of my creativity again, i would like to thank miss taylor swift and miss hayley williams for the inspiration, you should listen to FLOWERS for VASES / descansos by hayley, listening to it last night gave me the push i needed to finish writing (i am updating the fic playlist regurlarly if you like to check it out ;)). also, did you see those two???? THEY ARE SO CUTE when i tell you i was screaming last night when i was writing the last few scenes, i mean it. thank you so much for your patience and your concern for my health, i am doing much better physically, emotionally im still working on myself so i can stop projecting my sadness on poor y/n TT i hope you like it as much as i enjoyed writing it. i promised my betas i wouldnt take more than two weeks to write the next chapter and hopefully i can keep my promise. take care, and i hope all of you are wearing your masks and staying safe. <3)  

masterlist

TAGLIST (closed) :  @aonenthusiast @wiseeggspickleslime​ @koushisun​ @airheadpillar​ @sunflwrsandprettyskies​ @bbkiyoomi​ @daphnxy​ @shephard17895​ @avatarkyoshithewarrior​ @for-rebloggery​ @vv-bee999-vv vv @fi16ns @asdfghjkl7things @glassykaashi @strawhatshepard @hawkssnugget @msby-kei @toobsessedsstuff @a-moon-fairy @cuteissei @ramblingsofagoofyperson @pinoyrella @kiyoomisimp

#atsumu x reader #Iwaizumi Hajime #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x reader #hq iwaizumi #Miya Atsumu #atsumu x you #atsumu scenarios #msby atsumu #msby black jackal #msby bj #bokuto #haikyuu sakusa #haikyuu!! #hq anime #hq angst #hq fluff #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader

[kisskeiji]

hey everyone, i know many of you are waiting for a new chapter of lost&found and i am really sorry for taking so long, on a previous post i mentioned i am struggling a lot with my physical and mental health lately but i am trying to get back on track. i am currently halfway through the chapter, it has been really hard since i have a huge writers block and i lost count of how many times i rewrote the chapter because i don't like the outcome :((( hopefully i can comeback on friday. i am trying my best, i am really sorry ;(

[kisskeiji]

Hello, I'm not really sure how to use tumblr correctly so if this isn't where I'm supposed to ask I'm sorry. I know that you are very busy with your writing, but I was wondering if it was to much to ask for you to add me to the tag list of your Iwaizumi story. If it is then no worries, I was just wondering.

of course 🥰❤️❤️ you are so sweet

[kisskeiji]

omg i hope u feel better soon 🥺 we're waiting for content but take as long as you need!! this is just the internet, your health and wellbeing come first always 💓

thank u bb i'm feeling much better now :)) i'm really thankful for all of your support and love for the story, and i feel bad not updating as fast as i want to. i'll try to fix my schedules to post more often to not keep you all waiting for so long❤️❤️

[kisskeiji]

Hi may i know when r u going to update the new chapter lost and found? Been waiting for it to get the latest one 🥺❤

hey love, im working on it, i've been really tired and unmotivated lately for health reasons, and all of my projects were on hold, i'm getting back this week and i'll try to update more often. i'm really sorry for taking so long, i think i spoke to soon because this year has been really rough so far and it's just january 😭😭 thank you so much for your support ❤️

[kisskeiji]

hiii hiiii omg AHHHH i love your lost & found fic so much!! it's so well done and i'm super excited to see what is to come this year and the future!! if there is still room on the taglist may i ask if i can join as well? if not it's no worries at all!! thank you so much again for taking the time to read this, keep up the fantastic work!! and happy new year to you!!💗💝💖💞

🥰🥰🥰🥰 thank you sooooooooo much bb, and count on it!!! i'll add u on the next chapter