littlewiseeyes

[littlewiseeyes]

It's for my people. I love us. ✨

Black women.

Black men.

Black people.

🖤🤎

#100 reblogs #tumblr milestone #thank you

[littlewiseeyes]

I accept that co-parenting just isn't going to be as I want it to. Shit I never wanted to have to co-parent on the first place. But that doesn't take away from me trying. I just wish it was met with the same energy.

He's the one who's able to do more, I do the most. I get tired, he's not here. I need to talk, he's not listening. I need some sex lol he won't even do that.

I don't like our relationship. It's supposed to be a function co parenting between two friends who've known each other for nearly 2 decades. I've known this man for half my life now. You'd think he'd be here for me with all the history. He hurts my feelings more than anything else. This is the man that used to make me smile, laugh, feel good about myself, inspire me and teach me. Now he angers me, saddens me, doesn't seem to understand me. I hate this.

I still love him. That's the big reason I still dealt with him all this time. I didn't think we'd ever get to this point. Imagine I married this man in 2014? I'd like to never go divorce. We'd probably have been divorced by now. Pregnancy revealed to me a lot about him, about myself, about life. He thinks some of my current behaviors and feelings are from not experiencing carrying my baby as I wanted to. That's far from the truth.

Am I upset that things didn't go as I dreamed and desired? Yeah. It's a pain I think will ever go away. Not even when I have another baby and that pregnancy is everything I wanted. I will definitely express my joy and thankfulness. But naturally my wishes that my first baby got to experience me the way I'll be next time will be there.

I'm not basing how I move forward as of now on so much of the past. I took accountability, I learned and applied the lessons, I'm doing the best I phuqing can. This mf'er rarely gives me credit.

I just sit with myself sometimes like, this who you chose to let nut in you. Knowing him, I really thought it'd be a lot better. But I can't lie and say I didn't fear things might go this way. Painful.

Is there such a thing as co-parenting therapy? Lol seriously though, we might need to go. I'm just not sure how serious he'd take it.

I promise myself I'm not going to cry about this anymore in the next year. Just like how last year I said I'll get over the jealousy I felt. The year before that I said I'm not going to rage with anger anymore. The year before that one I said I'm going to make the changes I need to. These things that I speak come about time after time. I'm thankful for this. In 2025 I'll be over it, it being my baby's father just isn't going to go about this whole thing as he should. Man is approaching 40. I'm accepting the shit lol

I'm just going to be the best momma I can be. I'd love to have another child. But that won't happen until I get myself together. And that's if my body is blessed to carry again or even conceive. It's still my desire to carry a beautiful, good, considerate, smart, kind, spiritual man's baby someday. I want our love to be so strong everyone around us feels it. I want us both to be in great health. I want to learn many things from him, but that he is also teachable. I want the phuqing we did to create our child be absolutely amazing, literally the best sex we'll have. I want to own a gorgeous garden full of food and flowers. In the floral area is where we explore one another regularly. Then after he plants his seed and I grow our pretty plant, I want to give birth right there in the garden we created them in. I want binural beats to play, trusted women that blessed me on my journey are surrounding me, praying for me, my beautiful man stroking my hair and kissing on me, I want the energy to feel good and the spirits of my ancestors to surround me. Especially momma's spirit, I want to feel as if she's right there. She will be 😌❤️🙏🏽✨

I can still dream and still wish for beautiful things in my life. I can still have faith and wonders. I can still manifest what my heart truly desires. My reality does say I'll be sad or angry forever. I've forgiven, I've changed and now I cope. I do what I should to my best capabilities. My co-parenting relationship isn't the worst thing. But I do believe a better thing is still in the works for me. The future is mine, should I choose to create it. I can have what I want if I wait till when I truly need it. In due time. For now? I change so that I'll be ready for all the good coming my way.

[littlewiseeyes]

[littlewiseeyes]

Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain. Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to — alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person — you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain.

This is one reason why most people are always trying to escape from the present moment and are seeking some kind of salvation in the future. The first thing that they might encounter if they focused their attention on the Now is their own pain, and this is what they fear.

If they only knew how easy it is to access in the Now the power of presence that dissolves the past and its pain, the reality that dissolves the illusion. If they only knew how close they are to their own reality, how close to God.

Eckhart Tolle

[littlewiseeyes]

250 posts!

Yay 😊

#250 posts #tumblr milestone

[littlewiseeyes]

Self-love without self-accountability is self-sabotage. 

[littlewiseeyes]

“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”

— Carl Gustav Jung

[littlewiseeyes]

[littlewiseeyes]

It's hard to do this.

You'll cry, you'll scream, you'll sweat, you'll bleed.

But it is oh so worth it. It's worth every bit of it!

#change

[littlewiseeyes]

“Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me.”

— Imam al-Ghazali

[littlewiseeyes]

“You’re the kind of soul anyone would be lucky to be with, and you don’t even know it, the great ones never do.”

— Adrian Michael

[littlewiseeyes]

I want to know you. Tell me your hopes, your dreams, your goals. Tell me your thoughts, your fears, your fantasies. Show me your beautiful side, show me your wild side, show me your dark side. I'm listening, I'm looking, I'm here.

Let me love you as you are.

#love #writeblr #let me love you #your secrets stay with me #unconditional acceptance #show me yours #i show you mine #❤️

[littlewiseeyes]

Energy can be felt anywhere at anytime from anyone.

As one with a penetrating aura, I tend to take on another person's energy quickly. Especially if I touch them or they touch me. Touch is my strongest sense and it's brought on some of the strangest spiritual experiences.

This, is my reason for carefully choosing who's allowed in my aura field regularly. I love people. But some folk are draining. And I'm just not going to deal with that anymore for the sake of a partnership, friendship or relationship.

#life #love #thinking #learning #spiritual #human design #mental projector #projector #ra huru #happy birthday ra

[littlewiseeyes]

Some things I've noticed, and I'm not saying this about all men, but....

Most younger men want to get to know me

While,

The majority of older men just want to hookup. lol

This does not dictate my liking of younger men. That was a preference before I assessed these things. It's a bendable (giggity) preference though as I have come across many lovely men that are aged 33+. I just thought it'd be more so the other way around. Also, the younger men are often more open to kids and fatherhood. While the older men have many already or never wanted any, anyway.

Again, I'm not saying this applies to every guy in regards to the age ranges. I'm just mentioning what I'm experiencing. No bias here. Especially since there's a couple older men I've talked to very recently and it's been quite pleasant. It's rare that, that happens though. I love studying people and with men being my main preference sexual orientation wise, it's studying them that has been the most exhilarating. Even the ones that have full on pissed me off or annoyed me somehow still taught me something.

😂 no cap though it often goes like:

Man age 29: hi there beautiful, how are you today?

Man age 39: you trying to come sit on this face?

😂😂😂😂😂 And listen I don't hate either of these responses actually. It's just fun and funny to see is all. I'm going to say right now it's nerdy and/or spiritual men that have approached my inbox in the best ways. I think it's because they're most likely to study me a bit first at least. Are those kinds of men more likely to approach in a way that attracts me most because they know they're my type? Makes sense anyone, man or woman, is more confident shooting their shot when the ball they toss up is a near perfect description of the ball a person said they like.

Btw, It's a slam dunk for me if he owns a plethora of literature. Haaaa.

#sigh #men #still writing that love letter #cause i love them #its interesting #thankful for the male species #especially #the #sapiosexual #guys #but as always #my favorite boys #are the ones with a beautiful soul and kind heart #i fall for nice guys no matter their age #if he's pleasant he's a pleaser #dating #has been #weird #lol #let’s discuss #? #thanks to everyone and anyone that reads on here btw #writeblr #i noticed #i notice everything #i get it #i got it #just thinking #just adding tags #one fish two fish red fish blue fish

[littlewiseeyes]

I am TELLING YOU if you have spent months, years, around the same trees, land, etc., they WILL recognize you and reach out to you or not mind if you reach out to them. You don’t need to know anything about them.

A tree in the forest behind my parents house I’ve never spoken to before reached out - I never would’ve expected it. I don’t know what kind of tree it is. But of course this tree knows me. This tree has known me since I was six.

Trust me. This land knows you. These plants know you. They want to speak with you.

[littlewiseeyes]

Remind yourself who TF you are when you find yourself lacking.

#life #you're beautiful #you're strong #you're powerful #remember this #you deserve to be happy #you deserve love #be good to yourself

[littlewiseeyes]

Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.

-Eckhart Tolle