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I wanted my art to be good and holy. But it feels like I'm only capable of making vulgar mess, making a disgrace out of the characters I draw. I am a disturbed individual and everything I touch becomes disturbing too.

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Your aart is just amazing I love youu

HELLO???? I'm literally your fan, I've started writing a fanfic based on your pyroscout arts, I was wondering how to get to you to show it when it's done....

Also, cheers!

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hey since you’ve posted two pieces in a row about my boy Scout I was wondering if maybe you could write more your thoughts/your hcs about him? I think he’s really interesting and I don’t often see people realize that he’s more complex that what he seems, like this man just seems very sad inside. i really like your analyses and your takes are some of my favorites

hope you have a good day!

Appreciate it! Although I probably won't say anything particularly new... Okay, let's talk about Scout!

Though he no doubt wears the persona of a confident cool guy, protecting his ego from vulnerability, I wouldn't say there's sadness inside him. More accurate would be fear.

People with sadness baggage are pretty passive and quiet. And Scout's reaction is to hit, run, scare away, cling anxiously to the object of security. That's fear. He's fearful.

He doesn't think about it much, he's a pretty happy guy in the environment he's in. But if something makes him go off the rails and he starts, God forbid, thinking.....

His core fear is not living up to his place in the world. He knows there's a place for him, but for some reason he feels like people think he's not good enough to take it. Anyone better and stronger could take his place at any time. He's on bird's rights here.

Growing up with older brothers, being not good at school, being the smallest and youngest mercenary of the team, this feeling doesn't leave him ever. It's a tiresome inner struggle: "How do I make my stay secure?", "How do I become worthy?"

Falling into this cognitive trap of searching for self validation in the outside world instead of inside of himself, he was doomed to be stuck in ambivalence:

To continue to pretend, risking being exposed as an imposter, or to be sincere and inevitably endure the unbearable pain of rejection and loneliness?

He laughs and taunts and overexplains himself so much. He clings to the only thing he's better than everyone at. He overcompensates; he demands attention and tries to make himself bigger. He hates being alone as it basically feels like being actually pushed off his place in the world. He clings to people but immediately pushes them away for being too dangerously close to finding out his fears. He needs to be with everyone to know and to control what they think about him.

And it never makes him calm down anyway, since all those efforts take a lot of energy. Tiresome to be, tiresome to pretend. And the prize is nowhere near the sight.

This loop of pain will never end, unless he breaks the very core mindset of his. The answer is stepping into this fear, but he can't even think about it! It feels like death! His ego will die and it's going to feel like he's dying as a whole.

A full existential, primal fear of an child to be rejected by his parent. "Not worthy of living".

(Based on the Lise Bourbeau's model of 5 soul wounds: Abandonment)

#Bourbeau's model is not exactly reliable but still has a good base #Scout doesn't fit into this type perfectly and there's overlapping but overall yeah that's him #character analysis #analysis #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #team fortress 2 #team fortress fanart #team fortress #tf2 #tf2 theory #artists on tumblr #my art

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Sniper tf2 teeth‼️

Like this?

#cw: gore #gore #sniper tf2 #tf2 #tf2 sniper #team fortress 2 #tw: animal death #tw animal injury #tw animal death #animal death #tw blood #cw blood #tf2 fanart #pig butchering #butchering #artists on tumblr #my art #digital art

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also wanted to ask what's ur pronouns mate

I am barely a living being, my ego is almost nonexistent, it would be funny to assume that in this situation I would be having any preferred pronouns, which is an indicator of a personality.

I'm just a leftover force that's been left in this world to create. Don't bother perceiving me as a person lol.

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Lack of guidance

#scout tf2 #tf2 scout #tf2 #team fortress #team fortress 2 #team fortress fanart #tw: selfharm #tw selfharm #tw self-harm #cw: selfharm #please people check your tag filters #my art #definition of “guidance”... #cw: knife #I felt the need to draw it and I did it #I'm very sorry if it upsets you #block me if you need

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Unwelcomed

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #scout #scout tf2 #team fortress #team fortress two #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #tf2 fanart #team fortress fanart #team fortress scout

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Suji / Scrumize

"A just-soiled body; a tampered-with delusion --That I really wish could come true."

"You forced it onto me, the invitation -- What are you, some Champion of Justice? Just stop it with all of that crap."

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #team fortress 2 #sniper tf2 #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #scout #sniperscout #sniper #speeding bullet #sniper x scout #maretu #vocaloid songs #scout x sniper #my art

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Hello no pressure but I would love more of your thought process behind the Dying Dog. It's a gorgeous piece and I need the directors commentary.

Thank you guys for giving so much attention to that one, you make me happy as ever! Well, about the thought process.... heh... Let's say... *puffs a sig like Joker from the movie Joker*.. There were no thought process.....🚬 The picture just popped up in my head and I knew that was some kind of symbolism or metaphor here (I can't differentiate the two) but consciously I couldn't explain what it was. Just feelings... With both writing and art, it happens often - symbols are born by themselves and I'm unable to decipher what they mean unless I materialize them. If I am to guess, the Dying Dog is just a metaphor for Sniper's inner state. When dogs die from natural causes, there's usually a period of time, about few weeks, to notice. In this period, the dog owners usually prepare for the loss, saying goodbye and making sure the last days of their pet are happy. But in this piece Sniper is not an owner but a dog himself. He feels like slowly dying somehow, he's prepared and he's waiting. Except the end doesn't come near. Imagine lying there in pain, waiting for the sanctuary of death, but it's been months and years and it never ends. Yet it feels like the end. Does it make sense? Just what is he preparing for, exactly, then?.. Dizziness, feeling cold and sweaty from the inner heat. Yet no physical sign of dying. A literal dying dog looks more alive than him. (Also, a little timelapse!!)

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #sniper tf2 #tw animal death #animal death #tw animal injury #tw sui ideation #tw death #my art #artists on tumblr #timelapse #clip studio paint

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The Dying Dog

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #sniper tf2 #team fortress 2 #my art #artists on tumblr #tw: animal death #animal death #tw animal injury #tw animal death #digital art #illustration

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"A reflection that couldn't reciprocate"

"...He would live a long life, so long as he never got to know himself."

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 spy #spy tf2 #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #team fortress #team fortress two #tf2 fanart #spy tf2 fanart

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"I'm only valuable when..." of TF2 mercs

Personal mental stereotypes they follow, yet will never admit aloud. An analysis:

(Headcanons but I tried to be as compliant as possible)

Scout: I'm only valuable when people see me as cool and tell me that I'm cool... 'Cuz that means, it must be true...

(Constantly comparing himself to everyone, barely knows his true self, struggles to be alone)

Pyro: I'm only valuable when I have friends to care about! If there's none... It's so cold and lonely...

(Fear of abandonment? Fear of betrayal. Urges for revenge)

Soldier: I'm only valuable when my community needs me! I am all about loyalty and faith!

(Strongly identifies with the place or beliefs he belongs to, constantly feels threatened.)

Demo: I'm only valuable when people find me fun to be around. As soon as it gets sad, everyone leaves.

(Numbing his emotional pain in substances because he has no idea how to handle it, especially since these emotions push people away time and time again. Feelings of helplessness.)

Heavy: I am only valuable when I can protect people. Although I understand, when people are able to stand for themselves, it feels like my purpose is gone...

(Being protective is his identity. If he's not a big human shield for the people he cares about, who is he?)

Engineer: I'm only valuable when my ideas become reality. While I'm still alive, my mission in life is to make as many creations as I can.

(His work is more important than his personhood. He's the Engineer first, Connagher last)

Medic: I'm only valuable when people need very specific solutions to very specific situations. Let's say, some of these situations were also a work of mine.

(Too genius of a mind struggles to fit into the "normal" flow of things. Extending what's possible.)

Sniper: I'm only valuable when I'm useful. When my help is irreplaceable. Otherwise, why am I even here?

(Struggles with "fitting in" and finding a community/genuine connections. Doesn't believe there's anything to him besides his work)

Spy: I'm only valuable when people can look up on me, when they admire me and want to be like me. Or, otherwise, when they hate me and believe that I'm the only cause of their suffering. It's never too much when it comes to praise.

(Extremely fragile ego)

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 headcanons #tf2 soldier #tf2 theory #Don't bite if disagree please #just my rambling #team fortress 2

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My, my, well, I don't have hopes for the official comics but I am willing to explore this topic further.

Aside from Sniper, what are others' wounds that made them join this blasphemous corporation?? People don't pay much attention to it but how did the mercs join Mann Co. in the first place? They didn't just go there, knocked on the door and asked for employment, right? So what are the backstories?

I'm guessing Mann Co. wanted the best of the best men out there, but those who would actually take insane risks of their lives. This kind of reminds me of Portal but instead of Olympic champions and astronauts, Mann Co. wanted ABNORMAL men. What that means exactly is still an open question for now. But hear me out, Valve heroes are never trained fighters, they are just very desperate and have no other choice but to proceed.

Why would mercs be different?

I mean, is any one of them a certified fighter? I mean yeah, Engineer has 11 PhDs but he's still more of a mad scientist rather than a formal doc. Any other?? Soldier who has never been in a war, Medic with no license, unregistered demolition, mental hospital refugee, Scout who is just a street boy wtf is he doing at the frontline??

Smells fishy, isn't it?

They wouldn't be here if they were really trained professionals. So that's why I assume they got here because they had no other place to go. And Surprisingly, in here, they got everything they wished for.

(these are my headcanons that I tried to build based on logic, however, their bases aren't exactly stable, keep in mind)

Sniper wanted to be violent legally, so he doesn't think about his moral struggles anymore (except when he talks to his dad in the phone).

Scout was a school dropout who didn't have many options of what to work as. Although, while they were always diners and gas stations, his family of million brothers pushed him and his pride down, so in order to become a bigger man in society's eyes, he applied to military service. Probably meant to Korea or Vietnam but was redirected to Mann Co. instead.

Heavy had really difficult clashes with the Soviet Government (being a national enemy by many articles) he went to make money to US. He was probably known by Mann Co. even before his change of settlement, they knew the story about the Gulag demolition/escape, so they got interested in this person's potential.

While not being a nazi himself, Medic worked in the closed german experimental camps because it was the only place his unlicensed ass could apply (fleeing country in the wartime wasn't an option). And they needed mad scientist. However, instead of using prisoners as a resource, he made them super humans (baboon hearts kind of shit) so these prisoners killed the security guards and escaped. To avoid state persecution, Medic immigrated to America where was known and got invited to work for we-know-who.

Engineer's work is generational.

I don't know much about Demoman's lore (it's a little confusing) but "a reckless alcoholic extremist who desperately needs a job" sounds perfect for who they were looking for.

Spy is obviously not a real spy but rather a skillful conman who made through life by stealing, pretending and seducing rich women. Mafia history might be there too. But he wasn't invincible and the police was a pretty serious problem for him, so joining a secretive organisation was a solid solution. (Plus, someone could make a funny thing by setting up him and Scout together, because they knew.)

Pyro was a person who spent all their life in a mental hospital, seen as dangerous to society/unadjusted. Mann Co. reached to them and gave them a chance, which turned out great.

Soldier, too, was either a mental hospital often guest, a prisoner or a simple local crazy man who has severe amnesia and violent behavior. Good option too.

It's not a place where you could just ask to be employed, as not everyone actually could. It was some kind of a "safe heaven" for those who didn't have another place in the world. It was an insane but a very effective move by Administrator, who wanted this team of abnormal men to unite against something Big and Important ™ of which we still know nothing about. Does it make sense?

You know, I don't see a lot of people talking about this moment in the TF2 comics right here, seconds after Sniper realizes he's actually from New Zealand. Does anyone else think about how freaking insecure Sniper must have been growing up?

I know it has a somewhat comedic tone but I can't help but think about poor Sniper as a kid wondering why he was so different but never knowing why. With other Aussies being huge and muscular he must have thought something was wrong with him. And I feel like you can actually see the relief on his face in the bottom panel.

Also, side note, I love the bit about him throwing rocks from a tree which absolutely foreshadows his future as a sniper. His whole thing is shooting people from far away because he was never built to go on the offensive.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 theory #Oh wait it wasn't exactly what you were asking to elaborate on... #Either way! Let's pretend it's implied #I'm insane over those theories

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Oh you know what actually?? The place Heavy is from (Khabarovsky Krai, Russia) was actually majorly settled down by Ukrainians in 1900s-1920s, and for some time this region was called Green Ukraine! The Ukrainians wanted to make a republic there but unfortunately, because of the USSR clashes, they weren't allowed to... However, there's still a big population of Ukrainian people in this region. Y'all can look it up, there's some interesting stuff about Ukrainian settlements in 20th century!

Save me ukrainian Heavy tf2...

Saw this post and immediately thought of Heavy. My beautiful ukrainian man..

#tf2 heavy #tf2 fanart #heavy weapons guy

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Yeah, perfectly logical.

Sniper doesn't have any skincare although he spent all of his life frying inder the sun. Bro's gonna die from cancer once the respawn machine is off. He also smokes, pretty excessively, I assume. Always dehydrated (saturated color of jarate). Probably eats the same foods (just meat he hunted down and nothing else? Veggies who?). Doesn't exercise. Plus he's a lonely loner abd there's no way he's not struggling mentally too (definitely affects your physical body in many ways).

And Scout is very healthy compared to that. Always running, keeps himself fresh and flexible. Doesn't smoke (or at least very little, unless he wouldn't be able to run that fast and for so long). Very active and reactive, so I'd say his a pretty happy guy overall. Can't really say anything about other habits, but I'm guessing he knows how to keep himself happy, he's a sport junkie after all.

So it's neither a secret nor a mystery why one of them is an early grandpa and the other one is a babyface. We're comparing neglected houseplant to a dandelion.

Okay, so ykno how in game cosmetics, Sniper looks a lot older than Scout? Well, not to sound like a nerd but a possible reason for this is the difference between their lifestyles.

Sniper grew up in Australia and now he's in New Mexico, that's a lot of sun, and I doubt that man has taken proper steps to avoid sun damage. He's in decent shape, but not like Scout, speaking of which, he grew up in Boston, and as far as I know, it doesn't get too sunny there. He also runs like, a lot.

I know this doesn't explain everything and it could be more comprehensive and less "thrown together last minute" but I don't feel like it. Yall get the gist.

#tf2 sniper #tf2 scout #tf2 #ramblings

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Oh yes actually about Scout's self-conscious character. Classic but gold.

Just imagine how much misunderstanding and humiliation this guy went through his life, always being forced to be better-stronger-faster-smarter, whatever. Like, always being stopped and corrected at certain behaviours because its girly, chicken and gay or whatever, being mocked for being the youngest child, not the strongest, definitely not the smartest at school... He overcompensates with his speed and this is why his taunts are twice as toxic. This guy's core confidence is as fragile as fine china.

Some people portray him as an asshole for some reason, as if he was a heartless fuckboy. Totally wrong, it's pretty evident that he's a very kind guy. Even with Ms.Pauling, he doesn't just want to fuck her, he's genuinely faithfully in love, faithful even if there's no pressure for him to be.

He's kind to his friends. He's the one of the friendliest of them. This shameful gentleness is what made me fall in love with him. Seeing his facade cracking, revealing this more or less innocent soul (not counting the killings) is what ironically would give him all the love in return for his heart overwhelmed with his own love.

If he was a little bit more mature and nit scared of people's opinions and more genuine, I believe his smile would brighten up the whole world when the sun in no more.

has anyone done this already

#tf2 scout #scout tf2 #tf2 #just my rambling

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Sniper tf2 mentality

Today I will be talking about Sniper's personality because I often see people portraying him DRASTICALLY different abd I wanted to understand what's going on and why all of the interpretations are correct (in my opinion)

Let's name the most prominent thesises:

Sniper is shy and introverted.

Sniper is unhinged and bloodlusty and is annoyed by people.

Why do i think that these aren't exactly contradictory?

I think at this point it's safe to assume Sniper is autistic (I mean lol this is easier to prove than to disprove). As an autistic person myself, I can see why he could be perceived like that.

Sniper doesn't talk to people and mostly observes them and the situation. Very in tune with his profession. That, however, might be perceived as being shy or very introverted or both. People love talking and expect others to share information, yet Sniper never says half of the things he's thinking about.

But let me tell you, it's NOT because he's shy. If he was shy, it would show in his body language as being stiff and rigid. He's not. His body is pretty relaxed and takes enough space. Still crosses his arms, but in a "don't bother me" way, not a "please don't judge me" way.

He's just disinterested.

I relate to it a lot in real life! People at my job think I'm too shy to talk to them, but no, I just DON'T WANT TO. I'm not scared of any if you, there's just nothing to talk about. I don't know your business, you don't know mine, our interests don't collide. If I talked to you about my interests you wouldn't listen anyway. Small talk? Ew, are y kidding me?

However, I like to listen. I'm an extrovert personally (unexpected huh) so I love being around people, but it doesn't mean I have to takk to them. I'll just sponge the information they are babbling about so I know my community better. When I meet new group of people where everyone knows eachother but me, I'm not going to feel awkward, it's perfectly fine to observe.

Sniper seems to fit into this kind of behaviour too. So he's not shy in a social anxiety sense".

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BLOODLUST!!

Yeah you all know his in-game voicelines. You feel either horny or assaulted after he rolls these sadistic words on his tongue. Yes I said sadistic, are you gonna argue?

"We professionals don't give speeches we just take a shot" he says in the comics. OH YEAH? IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE THE MOST FUCKING VOICELINES OF ALL OF THEM??

Have you ever noticed how much attention he puts into saying how 'professional' he is? Like, yeah no shit, they all kinda are. But why, unlike other mercs, he insists on calling himself a professional with standards and morals, detached from emotions and feelings, so much???

There's literally no reason to be ashamed of being a killer and to admit that you enjoy killing people, you were hired to Mann Co. for that specifically!!!

My assumption: it's a personal disgust towards himself and his anger issues. I've said it before already and I will again.

His so called 'shadow side' that he suppresses so much. It loves to cause people pain, it loves releasing the inner anger, it is being feral and impulsive in nature. Sniper cannot let himself be like that for whatever reason. He's already built a clear picture of what he is in his head and he doesn't want to destroy that.

The only time he allows himself to be a monster is in the battle because it comes naturally. However, when it's not a situation of adrenaline rush, when people want to talk about his persona face to face, he starts to defend himself and bury his face under the lies he believes in.

And THIS is anxiety. To be scared to be truly perceived. Not like many people tried, but I assume he wouldn't like it.

Bro really thinks he doesn't have feelings lmaoooo imagine being so emotionally immature the only way to process your emotions is to shot a human dead.

So, is Sniper anxious? Yes. Is this social anxiety? No, he's not shy. Is he an unhinged murderer? Yes. Does he identify as one? No. It's really a little bit more complicated than the two thesises from the beginning.

He's a person. Obviously not mentally healthy. High dimensional. Can be potentially broken or healed in terms of a good character study.

I might be very wrong though and most of the assumptions are simply guessing by grasping the patterns, but usually when I analyze someone like thus, it turns out mostly right. But correct me if you feel like it.

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #sniper tf2 #just my rambling #I've been thinking about this mf a little bit too much #He is so NOT self aware #Can anyone see that???? #His childhood traumas were never addressed he's just suppressed them #I wish he had more backstory #Bleh