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poems-from-a-lonely-gay · 5 years

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Help Two HUNGRY Disabled Young Trans Men Survive the Shelter! - Desperately Need Aid against Stalker Mother

Hello, you might recognize me from these posts. We appreciate all the support but need help again. My husband and I currently homeless having been kicked out of our respective abusive transphobic and homophobic homes. Abuse that has strongly continued even we’ve been the shelter system since December 2nd. My mother has been aggressively harassment through phone and email. She has harrassed calling 25+ times to Stephen’s mother and step-father demanding that they tell her our address. I have blocked her across all devices and she continues to make accounts to message me threating emails that range from briding me to come home and separate from my husband effectively abandoning him in the shelter and to kidnapping me and placing me in a mental institution. My mother has a strong history of stalking, sabtogating and violence towards others. On May, she sent two demonstrating that she knew about the Gofundme which you can continue to donate to. Here. As as well knowing my address. I’m terrified of her. Terrified I placed a report against her that may or may not have resulted in her arrest as a required step of getting an order of protection against her.

Both my husband and I had filed reported against her. My mother has threatened violence against my husband.

Even since this shelter started been completely transparent about my mother’s intense abuse with DHS and HRA official but since the abuse was from my mother, not an intimate partner I have no entitlement to NOVA ( domestic violence services that would expedited my husband and I getting housing ) despite all acknowledgement from officials that if my mother were an intimate partner we would have well qualified.

Prior to homelessness since my mother had been consistently threatening to kick us out we pondered ending the shelter system and pursuing a LINC voucher. When we became homeless and created this donation post we continued with the LINC voucher in mind. Unfortunately, due to the slow and outwardly hostile shelter system, we were delayed months in pursuit of the voucher despite having the recommended savings because neither my husband and I were working. Both my husband and I were enrolled in school full time. He just finished his medical leave from school due to this surgery and back to full time. However we had been entitled to a disability during the duration of his months’ long recovery WE DID NOT RECIEVE because we not informed that it was an option by our shelter despite providing extensive documentary in regards to the surgery multiple. There was have been numerous incidents of mismanagement and misinformation which has prevented us from going forward and reaching our goal which getting out of the shelter.

This was our ‘home’ where we slept without a lockable door, proper blankets, access to showers, dormed next a violent domestic abusive couple which was triggering given both of my partner’s and I’s histories. The food provided was uneatable, served spoiled and frozen and resulted in multiple hostipalizations from food posioning.

Tw: violence & domestic violence

We have been moved to a permanent shelter but things are not much better. We are still surrounded by violence everyday. Every night we heard domestic violence, our next door neighbour was being consistently beaten and strangled by her husband. We had reported this to social services, security a number of times. We had called the police several times, it took her being nearly stabbed to death with glass from her husband breaking a mirror over her head resulting in visual scars for him to be taken away. Still, he came back despite being banned and nearly assaulted my husband who was trying to help our neighbor. My husband has encountered this violent man on a number of occasions. This violence no matter how awful is the norm. We hear violence every night. We haven’t been able to sleep well in the entire time we’ve been here. I have nightmares every night. My husband and I have had terrible flashbacks that lasted hours. We report these incidents to no solutions. We live in constant terror because some of the abusers have made it known they will MURDER anyone who tried to report the violence. We are constantly in the prescence of hard drugs as dealers from within the building near fought over illegal methadone in front of our door. We have taken to carrying weapons everyday for our safety.

We have been notoriously underpaid by our benefits only received Cash Assistance of 30 dollars for us both every two weeks when we were entitled at least $90 dollars and more since upon enrollment we were in school. As of right now, our meagre cash assistance is FROZEN and our food stamps case has been CLOSED despite despite our filling out the required cash assistance rectification. We now have to do a fair trial in order for it be turned back on but unsure how long that will take. Despite living a non-cooking facility meaning that our shelter provides NO FOOD of any kind and doesn’t offer any cooking equipment besides a single microwave. Food stamps can only pay for cold food—meaning we are meant to pay ingredients and cook at home but COOKING EQUIPMENT ( hotplates, toasters, rice cookers, instapots, etc ) is forbidden in our shelter. As a consolation, we are supposed to recieve restaurant dollars to buy hot food but haven’t received a single cent of it the duration we have had benefits despite showing information that our shelter is a non-cooking facility multiple times. We are forced to either be completely dependent on food kitchens and food pantries which are minimum 30 minutes away by car from our shelter. We smuggled in a hot plate but it can be confiscated at any time if found during a room inspection. We are both disabled and mentally ill so cooking is not an option all of the time so we ultimately end up settling for cheap fast food which has taken a terrible toll on our physical and mental health as well as quickly use our limited donation money. I am chronically sick as a result of our poor diet.

We are pursuing alternative methods of income since “earned” income is required to even get to SEE a housing specialist ( the single housing specialist assigned to our shelter of 500+ families ). We have been pursuing child support since my husband and I are both nineteen now but were 18 and 19 respectively when entering the shelter system. However, despite filling out the forms months ago, my court date at least is in late July before I can start receiving payments. And without payment as a sort of income, we are barred from seeing the Housing Specialist at to even get more information about Vouchers.

We have tried through our efforts to find out more housing. We have contacted multiple DHS entities, outside non-profit organizations, tried the advice of friends going through the shelter system but since the LINC vouchers have been morphed into one, the process is very new and unclear. We have no other option but to just wait but desperately need money to survive in the meantime. Neither Stephen or I could work. He because of his surgery as well his debilitating mental illnesses and me due to my severe and chronic disabilities. Believe me if either of us work we have—we just want to be out of this terrible shelter so badly. Every day is just a struggle to find the will not to kill ourselves, I apologize for the triggering statement but it’s true. We’re desperate. We just want to get out and start our lives. Six months ago we would have never imagined to be living like this and we just want to live again because right now we are just bareknuckling it and going through the motions.

We are a purusing disability for me but despite having filled and submitted now a month and some change have yet to recieve a date from WeCare to start the process. If/When I get approved for disability we can pursue the alternative route of supportive housing or at the least now have an income ( though my own disability income and being considered a sick family member to Steph who then would be trained and compenstated for taking care of me which is neccessary. ) Even Stephen is cleared he’d be returning to school full-time. Even if he were to shift to part-time which would, “in theory”, give him more time to work he’d be responsible for all the hours missed due to the chaoticness of our homeless rendering unable to work weekends. I can’t be alone, eat alone commute by public transportation at all, and by car alone. I need supervison and assistance at all times.

We have no savings all our donation has been used dealing with the number of complications with Stephen’s surgery ( more information is detailed here ). We need money for Stephen’s upcoming WeCare appointment tomrrow as well as my upcoming therapy appoints.

Transm*ds/T*RFs and Classist please don’t interact with this post. Been lucky not to have a lot of negativity directed at my husband and I but would rather not start. If you feel like my post is suspicious which it isn’t——very much homeless and suffering simply don’t reblog, don’t donate. If you find my cause unsympathetic don’t reblog, don’t donate. I force no one to donate——I appreciate and eternally grateful to those who do but know it’s not forced.

BIG NEEDS

FOOD, like my god just food. Money for hot food.

Uber - Our sole means of transportation of Uber since I can’t literally go on public transport without having anxiety so severe I either vomit or shit myself. We are have required appointment such as my therapy and pysch which are twice each two weeks. Costing 20-25 one way totalling between 40-50 dollars a round trip. We have to go HRA appointment typically once every 2-3 weeks which is 11-13 dollars one way and 22-26 dollars roundtrip.

A storage unit at the moment we live in a 10x10 space room meant for a SINGLE individual. where our full size bed take up a third of the room. The drawer that came with the room has been broken since arrival. As one would living in a space going on six months we accumulate things—-we clean everyday and have purchased a number of storage methods but there simply not enough. We clean our room everyday but there is simply not enough space for our all our possessions.

A large proportion of our belongings already are at Stephen’s abusive grandmother’s house and we’d like to minize interactions with her as much as possible as well as store it in a more accessible place since she lives an hour away by public transport and 30 to 40 minutes away by Uber ( a trip that amounts to $40 both ways )

Recurring Expenses

Phone Bill: 80 dollars, our phones are our everything, our access to money, the contacts we desperately need.

How YOU can Help

GoFund Me

https://www.gofundme.com/manage/help-disabled-trans-men-out-the-shelter

Due to the halt of donations we were forced to dip into our donation from our Gofundme which we wanted to keep as purely savings when we finally get to the point of seeing the housing specialist. Unfortunately, at this point we used all the donation money, all 2,400 to simply keep surviving since GoFundme took a percentage of the 2,500. We have made a new gofundme which includes once again the saving requirement set by the shelter as well as money necessary to keep us afloat till July/August. The goal is now 6,000 which will include the savings required as well as money to hold us over until we can start reviving more of an income in July ( hopefully through child support )

Amazon Wishlist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/33HIWHRPJZW6E?ref_=wl_share

The wishlist has listed a range of items that make day to day living easier and some things that would just be nice. Strongly advise ordering by priority because some things are needed more than others.

Note: money donations will always be more help because we can get tangible things more quickly like food our biggest priority at any given time, metrocards now my husband is back in school, cost of Uber. But know every dollar means something so don’t feel bad if you can only offer a dollar, five, each of them adds up and more than we’d have our own.

Cashapp - $Elilut99

Venmo - Elijahlut99

GooglePay - [email protected]

Inquire about PayPal

If you can’t get something from the wishlist, or donate just reblog! Everyone reblog is an major help! 🙏🏿 Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

If you are curious about more real time updates check out the #strugglejournal tag on my blog. I detail a lot but not everything of my experience.

Link to my husband’s blog @sweetdickheadass

Please consider checking out his his donation related tag ( honestly he is better at keeping up with that than I, too being depressed ) is

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