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sxtvrns · 10 months
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why can’t i think of anything to write why am i having no inspiration for next perfume fic
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sxtvrns · 11 months
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real
the firsts i’ve never felt
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🎶 now playing: clementine - grentperez
P: Kim Jongseob x Fem!Reader
S: You find yourself wandering the headquarters after being left unattended. He finds himself unreasonably intrigued by you.
C: meet cute, fluff, puppy love, inaccuracy, a bit sloppy, mentions of bullying, kinda rushed?
N: i’ve transformed my entire feed and started a bunch of masterlists and stuff! this fic is part of one of them that i need to design and stuff but i hope you’re loving the organization because i certainly am. i really wanna write but my brain is running out of scenarios i can work off of so if you dont hear from me for a while you know why. if i don't get a hair colour right sue me i can't memorize everything | all ages listed are korean, not international!
view the rest of the conversations ☆彡
please interact if you enjoy!
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“Hey, honey, do you wanna come and visit my new job today? They’re showing me around, and you’re planning to work in the entertainment industry behind the scenes, aren’t you?”
…sounds like a super unprofessional thing for your mom to say on her first day of the job. However, the staff gave her leeway somehow after saying you were an aspiring makeup artist with a growing following. She said you could join in a few years, if you’d like. You still had time to think about it.
“So, how old is your daughter?” The employee asks.
“16.”
“What kind of makeup does she do?”
“She has a rather… broad spectrum. I could go into specifics but that would require me showing you examples and taking up your time.”
“Oh, go ahead! Besides, I could use a break from the work.”
The door to the elevator opens with a ding, both adults behind you not seeming to pay attention. You quickly but stealthy walk off the elevator, their attention still focused on your mom’s phone. As the doors close, they still don’t seem to notice, instead they continue going up, and you’re left alone in the quiet, empty hallway.
Somewhat quiet, actually. There was loud music coming from some of the rooms you could hear from outside as you walked by. Your phone buzzed in your hand, though you aren’t bothered to check it until another staff member sees you in the hall. She goes on her phone, types rapidly on the screen, and starts walking towards you.
You walk away from her at a quickened pace, turning the corner and beginning to run. You turn the corner again, briefly glancing at the rooms as you pass by, all of them with people inside and the lights on. Except for one.
The sound of steps sounded like it grew withe presence of multiple people, so you had no time to check and instead opened the door, and to your relief, no one was inside. You shut it quietly, hiding against the wall in hopes that the crowd passes by.
The buzzing from your phone earlier was frantic texts from your mom, asking where you went and specifying that the staff was now looking for you. You replied calmly that you ‘took yourself on your own tour’ and ‘got off as a joke in hopes she would notice’. You could practically hear her sigh at her phone as she responds with ‘i’ll keep you updated’ before leaving you on read.
You slide down against the wall, sitting and observing the environment around you. This was a dance studio, one of many that looked the same as some of the others. You didn’t want to get caught, so you stayed there for a bit on your phone, caught off guard at the sound of someone opening the door.
At first you panic, thinking someone from staff found you, but it was just some guy adorned in all black with a beanie and a mask, taking both of them off and somehow not noticing you.
You spoke too soon.
the first meet.
His eyes widened at the sight of you, the door he held open by a sliver. You hear something from outside.
“Jongseob, there’s some new hire’s daughter on the loose and she was last seen on this floor, have you seen her?” A staff member asks, the boy’s head peeking back in to look at you. You frantically shake your head and gesture for him to keep his mouth shut as he peeks out the door right after.
“I haven’t seen her, sorry.”
He fully closes the door this time, a sigh of relief escaping you as your eyes stayed glue on the boy that was nice enough to not snitch. “What are you doing here?” He asks, a reasonable question since you were in the studio for a reason other than dancing. “My mom works here. She’s starting today. And… I may or may not have gotten off the elevator too early.” You try to sum it up.
“Why?”
“Um, they were distracted. And I didn’t think the door would close right after I got off.”
“How did they even let you in?”
“I might work someplace like this as a makeup artist. When I’m older. My mom brought me along for her tour, and… that’s how I ended up here. I was running away from staff. If you want, I can leave.”
“I didn’t lie just for you to get out and defeat the whole purpose of it. It’s okay, you can stay as long as you need to.”
“Really? I’m not intruding?”
“My members won’t be here for the next little while, if you’re overwhelmed by the presence of multiple men.”
His joke makes you laugh, and you inch out of the corner you’re hiding in more, seeing him walk towards you and open the laptop on the desk. “How old are you now?” He suddenly asks, a question you find odd at first.
“16.” (international age = 14, turned 15 after a few weeks)
“Really? Me too.”
“You looked a little young. Are you a trainee?”
“I actually debuted a few weeks ago. We’re doing some promotional stuff and we have practice today.”
“Do you want me to leave when they arrive?”
“You can stay for now. It’s up to the leader if he wants you in or not. I guess if you aren’t distracting, you could watch. But I gotta wait for him.”
“I’ll check you guys out sometime. All the groups are listed in the lobby, so…”
“P1Harmony. You’ll find us easily.”
Quiet clicks come from the mousepad, as you merely stare up at him, who seems to be so focused on the screen in front of him. He looks up, then looks down at you, and your observing gaze fixed on his face. He ponders, before holding his hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m–“
“Jongseob. You’re Jongseob.”
You finish his sentence for him, leaving him visibly surprised as you shake his hand.
“Um, I heard them say your name from the hall.” You explain, him nodding. “I’m Y/N.”
“That’s a pretty name.”
You find yourself blushing. “Thank you… um, also for not snitching. I texted my mom that I was okay, so everything should be fine now.”
“That’s good. Maybe don’t get off the elevator while she’s distracted next time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Music starts playing from the speakers, Jongseob walking away to the center of the room to warm up. Your eyes are on him the entire time, since there was nothing else you could focus on. Even if you tried going on your phone, the music would draw your attention away from it.
You had a short attention span.
But watching Jongseob merely warm up seemed to prove otherwise. Your eyes were glued to his movements and small yet precise spotting, how precise he was when he matched every beat and transition. You stared at his reflection and his back the whole time, gaze moving to his face.
He caught you staring, looking back at you through the reflection of the mirror with a subtle smirk before going back to dancing.
He comes back to pause the music while you space out staring at the floor, as he takes off his beanie and runs his hand through his hair. “How’d I do? Seemed like I caught your attention.”
You clear your throat. “Good. Really good.”
He believes you have another reason you aren’t telling him, still deciding to sit down beside you despite doing so. “What are you doing?” You ask, looking at him. “Sitting with you. Why, does this bother you?”
“No. Just… I thought you’d be warming up more. That seemed short.”
“It seemed short because you were watching me. I was dancing for, what, a little over 10 minutes? I think I’ve warmed up enough.”
“Right.” You say, kind of understanding what he’s saying. “I like your hair. The colour is very pretty.” A light purple that could be described as lavender was what it was. It painted him as docile, gentle. He seemed to be so, given he was sitting with you like this along the side of the room.
“Thank you.” He smiles, sounding genuine. So genuine, in fact, that he smiles at you for the first time with his teeth showing, his hand covering his mouth right after. You take a mental note of that habit. “When did you start training?” You ask.
“When I was 12.” (international age = 10, turned 11 later that year due to late birthday)
“That young?! When I was 12 I was still scared of the concept of paragraphs…”
“I’ve always wanted to be a singer. Perform for others. There was a chance, so I took it.”
“I admire you for that. Taking risks that benefited you later in the future.”
“You took a risk today.”
“I did?”
“You stepped off the elevator and outran a bunch of staff successfully.”
“And I benefited from it how?”
“You met me.”
You’re unsure if he’s flirting with you, but your face heats up regardless. “Yet I’ll never see you again. But… I enjoy your company. And I appreciate your kindness.” When you look up from the ground, he’s handing you his phone, the keypad open.
“Let’s keep in touch.”
At first, you’re a little stunned at his boldness. But you accept his offer, typing in your phone number and letting him do the same with your phone right after. “I’ll try to text you back when I can. I’m pretty busy.”
“And I’ll try to not keep my phone on silent. I’ve missed so many interviews because of it…”
“For part-time jobs?” You nod. “I later learned they weren’t paying what they should be, so I guess I dodged a bullet.”
“Do you have a job now?”
“I work at a convenience store for income. My mom’s always saying I never needed to take a part-time job claiming we’re somewhat rich, but I wanted a bit of independence for myself. And I get free food and snacks sometimes, so that’s a bonus.”
“If I come visit, will I get free food?”
“Convenience store snacks are cheap enough already. Maybe I’ll give you ₩489 off.”
(₩489 = 0.50 cents)
He laughs at your offer. “I’ll take it.”
The door suddenly opens, five other men coming in all at once, stopping once they notice the two of you sitting together against the wall.
“Hello.” Jongseob greets, getting up. “Who’s that?” One of them asks, looking at you. “A… friend.” He responds.
“How did she get in here?”
“Long story.”
Their stares are reasonable, yet they make you feel uncomfortable as you feel out of place cooped up against the wall. Jongseob seemed to notice, shooting you a quick question. “Are you okay?”
The sound of his has your head turned to face him as you nod, acting like you weren’t spaced out prior. “I’m fine. This is the rest of your group?”
“Yeah. You can stay for practice if you’d like. I’ll ask Keeho.”
Surely they wouldn’t mind, you were just afraid you’d misinterpret their gazes for glares that would scare you off. “I would, but I should go. I already texted my mom earlier that I’d be leaving while she was still working. But I’ll leave. I don’t want to be… distracting.”
“You aren’t distracting at all.” He attempts to reassure you.
“Says the one who was looking at me through the mirror’s reflection.”
“Jongseob, should we warm up?” One of the boys asks, taking off their hoodie and beanie while they all simultaneously look at the two of you. That was an indirect invitation saying that they were about to start, him getting up his spot and lending you a hand to do the same.
“Thank you, Jongseob. I’ll text you.” He nods with a smile as you leave the room, your fast paced steps almost being heard from the inside of the room.
“Who was that, Jongseob?” Theo asks as the youngest walks over. “A new friend. She kinda abandoned her mom unintentionally and hid in here from the staff.”
“Oh, her. The people downstairs were talking about it.” Intak adds.
“In a good way or a bad way?”
“Mixed. How come her mom brought her here?”
“Y/N’s planning to work in the industry as a makeup artist, and her mom wanted to show her a potential place for hiring since she’s already working here.”
“She said she’d text you.” ‘What does that mean?’ Keeho meant to ask.
“I gave her my number.”
They’re all surprised, wide eyed and everything. “Really?”
“I wanna talk to her more. I think you guys scared her off.”
“We don’t look scary.” Intak looks at himself, then everybody else. Jongseob’s eyes dart over all five of them briefly. “You guys look terrifying.”
“As if you weren’t wearing the same thing when you left the apartment.” Theo sneers, looking at him weirdly. “Hey, she liked my hair and I saved her from a bunch of staff. I’m a pretty approachable person even with the coverups.”
“You approached her.” Theo retorts.
“And?”
Intak, very obviously antsy, whines. “Can we just start, please? We’ll talk about this later.” He groans in distress, convincing the rest of the boys to move on. Keeho speaks up first from the sea of silent stares.
“Let’s go, then.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
On the way home from school, you usually take the shift right after at the convenience store you worked at. It was close to home but not far from school, you managed to be on time for majority of your shifts.
Your coworker seemed to be eye candy for the girls your age that came in, but you saw him more as an older brother figure. He was super nice and always filled in for when you weren’t feeling well, and frankly, you thought it was a bit strange girls your age were pining over a man in his late 20s.
You had your fair share of attraction to more famous people that were older than you, but the fact you knew your coworker long enough to know things about him kind of made some situations awkward. Sure, he was cute, but come on. He’s practically looking for an actual job already and the fact he’s stuck with you is because he actually enjoys his part-time and you two were always only available for the same time slot every day.
You weren’t working today. You knew he was. So you assumed that it would just be a straight shot walk home.
Until you remembered you were a victim of verbal harassment.
You never did anything wrong, you were just laughed at and picked on by a specific group of girls for a reason you didn’t know. You always believed it was because you were prettier than them, given that their crushes ended up all mutually pining over you rather than them.
It’s a joke that you laugh at with them at times, yet the girls still don’t seem to like you.
At least they weren’t cutting your hair or anything. You could take words but you couldn’t take a pencil being dug into your hand.
So when you saw those girls turn the corner, you ran, fingers crossed they didn’t see you.
“Y/N, come back! We have something to tell you!”
They saw you.
With your backpack almost falling off, and the sound of rapid footsteps that sounded like they were getting closer, you spot the convenience store you worked at and run in, your coworker behind the desk and watching you hide behind the shelf closest to the wall.
At first, you’re panting, out of breath and coughing as you try to get it back.
“Y/N?”
You look up.
Jongseob is standing there, fridge door held open by his hand with a drink in the other, small clouds of steam coming from the cool air hitting the heated room. “Hi.���
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You would’ve told him the truth if the story was so long. You peek up from the shelf, fully standing up when you see no one there. “Are you hiding from someone?” He asks, obviously and reasonably clueless as he lets the door close. You merely nod, seeing the girls out of the corner of your eye through the glass and ducking down again, dragging Jongseob along with you.
The bell above the door rings as shuffling can be heard going towards the counter.
“Shin-Il! We saw Y/N come in here, did you see her?” One of the girls’ ear piercing voices rings in your ears, their attempt at acting cute and desperate simply making you cringe. Luckily you told your coworker about your complicated situation with these girls. “No, sorry. She isn’t working today.”
While you’re mentally pleading that they don’t care enough to check around the store, Jongseob’s eyes stay on you and dart around just in case, being able to hear the brief conversation as he stares.
“We’re looking for her! Are you sure she isn’t in the bathroom or something?”
“She isn’t here. Maybe she went somewhere else.”
They all whine, leaving the store as you let out a sigh of relief. You look up to see Jongseob offering you a hand, which you accept, helping you up as you lean against the fridge door, in disbelief that those girls were so clueless.
“Why were they looking for you?”
“They hate me, that’s why.”
“Why would they hate you?”
“Because I’m prettier than them. Long story.”
“The boys they liked all ended up liking Y/N collectively. Friendly with the boys, tormented by the girls.” Shin-Il suddenly appears out of nowhere, handing you a small bottle of water. “Who’s this, Y/N?”
“My friend.”
“How do you two know each other?” Jongseob asks.
“We work together part-time. We always end up picking the same shifts, and I make sure she doesn’t get killed by her fellow classmates when they come to visit.”
“Are these girls really bullying you, Y/N? Have you brought it up with anyone?” Jongseob asks, the worry noticeable in his tone. “They haven’t physically harmed me. When you consider all the details, they’re just jealous.”
“I don’t know any of the details, and that’s why I’m concerned.”
“I’m fine, Jongseob, really. I think I just… need to stay in here for a while. Just in case they’re in any of the other stores.”
“I can walk home with you, if you’d like.” He starts. “Um, just in case they show up or something, I can like, cover you–“
“I’d like that.”
You cut him off with your straightforward answer, and he seemed to be content as he sends you a closed lip smile. “Are you ready to go? Do you want anything?” He asks, looking out the window just in case. “I haven’t eaten lunch today, but I don’t have enough money on me.”
“I can pay for you. Get whatever.”
“Really? But I don’t know when I’ll pay you back.”
“You don’t have to if you can’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Jongseob–“
“Y/N, please. It’s okay, really. If you want to stay here and eat, you can do that too. I’ll wait.”
You feel a bit guilty as you get yourself dosirak and a small container of banana milk, seated at the window seat as Jongseob pays for your food. He sits down beside you, looking at the window and staring at you through your reflection in it. “Is it okay if you can tell me why those girls don’t like you?”
You swallow. “It’s really not a big deal, Jongseob.”
“Yes, it is. I know we’ve only ever talked a few times through text, but I’m… it sounds concerning that they’re willing to chase you for a few insults.” You sigh, taking a sip of your banana milk before trying to rack together all the pieces of the story.
“Well, Shin-Il kind of explained it to you already. Those girls have a crush on some guys, and those guys, at one point, ended up liking me. Now I just make fun of them for it as an inside joke, so I’m friendly with them. They don’t like me in that way anymore. Those girls dislike me because the guys liked me instead of them. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah. That’s… stupid.”
“It is. They’re too ignorant to see that there’s really nothing there anymore. Otherwise, I feel we could be good friends. But I’m patient enough to wait until they realize their harassment was for a reason thats existence already faded away.” You continue to wolf down on your food, as hungry as you were, Jongseob merely keeping watch outside and of you. To make sure you weren’t choking, of course.
As you leave the store and your walk home begins, so does the empty feeling in the air.
“Are you sure the walk home isn’t far?” You ask. “No, I’ll be okay. It won’t be dark for a bit.”
“And… I promise I’ll pay you back, okay?”
“You really don’t have to…”
“Yes, I do. I know you’re an idol and all that, but you’re still a human with morals.”
“If you insist. But if you can’t, you don’t have to.”
“I will.”
Jongseob’s beanie hides his vibrant purple hair, and as much as you are disappointed you aren’t able to see it, you understand that it would be a dead giveaway that he was in the entertainment industry.
“I watched your show the other day.”
“Really? How did I do?”
“You were awesome! I think it’s cool that there’s an idol out there my age, and I’m friends with you, no less. You looked really good, too.”
“Thank you…” He wasn’t expecting to get so flustered over your compliments. Lucky he had no choice but to wear his mask. Jongseob watches as you bring your phone to your ear as you send a greeting over to the person on the other side of the line.
“I’m coming, I’m on my way home.”
“Yes, I’m okay. I’m with a friend right now.”
“He’s walking home after me, he’ll be okay.”
“Look, can you not be go crazy over this right now? I’ll talk to you later.”
“What do you mean ‘you want to meet him’?! You never want to meet anyone!”
“Okay, okay, fine, just stop screaming in my ear. Bye.” You end the call and let out a frustrated growl as you tighten your grip on your phone. “Everything okay?” Jongseob asks hesitantly.
“Just because I said I’m walking home with a ‘he’ my mom’s freaking out over it and now she wants to meet you.”
“I think I’ve run into your mom while at headquarters. She acknowledges me but is usually in a rush.”
“She’s usually late, that’s why. But she always gets one step ahead of her work, so she always gets excused. But seriously, is it just because you’re a guy that she wants to meet you? She didn’t ask to meet my other female friends and they just met her voluntarily while walking with me.”
“What about your dad?”
“Overseas for work. He’s coming back in a few weeks. He’s much more laid back. I think my mom is a bit… overprotective. I can understand that, but she could’ve asked me to introduce you without screaming at me…”
“Is she… abusing you?”
“God, no! It’s just one of those days, y’know? Maybe she got pissed off she stubbed her toe or something. And just because she always wants to keep watch over me, I feel like retaliating.”
“Is that why you stepped off the elevator?”
“Not really. Maybe.”
He can’t help but smile after uncovering your true motive.
As you approach the door, you have no choice but to knock given that your keys were probably buried somewhere deep in your backpack. Your mom opens the door with a relieved sigh as she opens her arms for a hug, which you reluctantly accept in front of Jongseob. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you, honey, I… I was having a bad day and I took it out on you and I was worried that–“
“Mom. It’s okay, I get it.” She smiles softly, any grudge you held against her melting away instantly. It was surprising how she was able to manipulate you so quickly. “You’re friends with Jongseob?” She asks.
“You know his name?”
“Of course I know his name, your mom works at FNC too.” She says, referring to herself in the third person. “Are you sure you can walk home alone? Isn’t it a bit far by foot?”
“I’ll be okay, ma’am.”
“I can give you a ride, it’ll be much faster.”
“My dorm isn’t too far from here and it won’t be dark for a while. Thank you for the offer.”
“Get home safe, okay?”
“I will. Bye Y/N.” He says his goodbyes as he walks away from the premises of your house, your mom letting you in and closing the door fully. “You didn’t tell me you were friends with Jongseob. I would’ve started bringing you to work after school so you don’t have to stay home alone. I could get you a pass to come in.”
“Isn’t that an abuse of your position?”
“I care about my daughter, what kind of abuse is that?”
You sigh followed by a smile as you begin to head up the stairs.
“You should’ve gotten his phone number before he left!” She yells before you disappear into your room.
“I already have it!” You yell back.
“Since when?”
You freeze, unable to think of an answer.
“Long story!”
“I have time!”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Shin-Il!”
“Shin-Il, I got this for you!”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Shin-Il!”
You roll your eyes as the countless crowds of girls just keep coming into the store. As much as it was annoying, you were glad you basically hogged all the free time since Shin-Il just had to be at the counter to tend to the flock.
“You could be doing better things right now.” He says, turning back to look at you. “Like what?” You rhetorically ask, looking up from your phone. “Restocking the shelves, cleaning the floors, doing your homework.”
“I am a very diligent student, thank you very much.”
“You don't even go to cram school. What about your fans?”
“I already posted last week. They know how intricate the process can be.” He begins to leave when you stop talking. “Gonna use the bathroom. The minute you stand up, you’re on register duty for the rest of the shift.”
“Then I’m not gonna stand up.”
He snatches the phone out of your hand, dangling it above his head. “Hey!” You jump up, struggling to reach your phone. Curse men for being so tall. “Give it back!” He hands the phone back to you, putting a hand on your shoulder and whispering into your ear.
“Your shift begins now.”
Jerk.
“That wasn’t even fair!” Shin-Il ignores you as you hear a door from a distance shut and lock. You sigh, annoyed, shoving your phone in your pocket before briefly scanning whatever was in view in case it needed restocking.
You don’t seem to be paying attention, because by the time you blink, a person is waiting at the counter.
“I’m so sorry, I’ll take those.” You apologize, embarrassed, scanning the person’s items and bagging them for him. You’re struggling to make eye contact as the person pays you, insisting you keep the change as they walk off. “Next.” You call, the person in line putting his things on the counter.
“Did you find everything you–“ You look up to see Jongseob, an innocent, toothy smile on his face. You noticed his fang, something you couldn’t help but find charming. “Hi.”
“Hi. Slow today?”
“All the customers came for Shin-Il and that’s it. You’re the second person I’ve served today.”
“I’m honored.”
“I don’t even know where he is and why he’s taking so long in the stupid bathroom. Anyways, how come you came here? Isn’t there a place closer to your dorm?”
“I just happened to be in the area. I also wanted to see you.”
Your heart flutters at the thought, but you shove those feelings down before it can reach your head. “Really? You could’ve just went someplace closer.”
“I figured I’d come say hi. I feel like this is the only time we can see each other like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like normal teenagers with normal lives.”
He pays for his items, leaving a container of banana milk out of his grasp. “You forgot–“
“It’s for you. Take it.”
“Jongseob, how am I gonna pay you back?”
“Don’t.”
“But–“
“Shhh.” He leans in, sliding the container towards you. “Let me be nice to you, okay?” He pulls away, acting as if he wasn’t so bold a few seconds ago. “Do you want me to walk you home again? I’ll ask the guys to come find me so I won’t have to walk home alone.”
“I don’t– um... I’ll be off a bit late.”
“Which gives me more of a reason to walk with you. It’s dark and you’ll be alone.”
“You know I don’t live far.”
“And you know that this is a safer decision and you’re ultimately denying it for the sake of my safety and convenience.”
“Jongseob, your safety matters way more than mine. You’re a freaking idol, for God’s sake. And I thought you came alone, what do you mean the guys can find you?”
“We decided to go out together. We ended up splitting up to explore and look around by ourselves. I think I’m the only person that went alone."
"I can tell. Did you ask them if they wanted anything?"
"Theo and Jiung are grabbing food for later." He pauses. "My offer still stands." He reminds, persistent. You look at him, appreciating his kindness but unsure if he was willing to wait. "I don't get off until 8."
"I'll walk around after I eat. You can call me when you're done."
Though you feel a bit guilty, it really seemed like he wasn't backing down. "Sure. Thanks. You're also holding up the line." He smiles before taking his items with him as he finds a seat, you taking the banana milk and sliding it closer to you and to the side. Shin-Il finally comes back after taking who knows how long in the bathroom, eyes landing on your friend.
"He's here again. You two must be close."
"Eh... lucky circumstance. What were you even doing in the bathroom, you weirdo?"
"What else would I be doing besides use it for its intended purpose?"
"No one pisses for 5 minutes, Il. You aren't fooling anyone. Is it that girl you're talking to?"
"I am not talking to anyone."
"When those girls find out they are gonna freak."
"I was buying tickets for a thing."
"I thought all public events were closed. You aren't that slick."
"Okay, maybe it is about that girl, but we're just going somewhere, that's all. But I was buying tickets for an exhibition, she loves art."
"Aw, how cute. So when's the wedding?" You take a sip from the small container of banana milk Jongseob bought for you, noticing he isn't in his seat anymore. How did he eat so fast? "Y/N, can you do restocks? We'll make more sales if I'm at the counter."
"You aren't that handsome. The schoolgirl rush is over, no one's gonna come in."
You were wrong.
Many people came in, just not his usual audience, but at least they weren't all up on him. You could hear the compliments from the fridge, but nothing seemed to bother you or him one bit.
As you take an empty box to the back, you go to grab another one until Shin-Il stops you. "I'll take it from here. Mun-Hee clocked in early. And you have a visitor." He pats your back as you get up, seeing Jongseob waving at you with a smile, taking his phone out and showing you the screen.
"It's 8 o'clock."
At first, you're shocked by his dedication, but frantically hurry to the back to clean up and grab your things in order to not keep him waiting. When you get back, you see him talking with your coworker, and you interrupt in order to stop Shin-Il from potentially saying anything embarrassing.
"All ready? Let's go."
You both say your goodbyes as you walk out the store, Mun-Hee nudging Shin-Il in the side. "Kid's got a boyfriend now?" She asks, only receiving a shrug in return. She's content with the answer, going back to your unfinished restocking job.
"You really did mean it when you said you'd wait."
"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"
"Sometimes people change their minds or things happen out of their control that they just can't make it."
"I just walked around the park nearby and stuff. And– oh, I just remembered something." He stops, taking his beanie off and putting it on your head, revealing the alluring lavender that coloured his hair, something you secretly found appealing. You don't even have time to process that you were wearing the hat that covered his beautiful colour. "Jongseob, your hair. People might recognize you."
"Brought an extra. It's a bit late, so I doubt I'll get asked for a photo."
"So you planned this?"
"Whenever you send me selfie updates, you're never wearing a hat. You aren't even wearing a scarf, are you not freezing?"
"I am. I didn't think it'd get this cold, so I didn't bring one since it was warmer this morning."
"It'll always be colder at night, Y/N. You need to remember that, especially since you're working late."
"Did you even wash this?"
"Five times through the cycle. You seem to like it when we see each other, and conveniently, colder weather is approaching so I thought you should have it. You don’t have any hats at home?”
“I forgot to bring one. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. No need to pay me back, by the way.”
By the time you look back at him, his hair is covered again with another beanie, his stealthiness making you stifle a chuckle. “What?”
“I like your hair. I sometimes wish you didn’t have to hide it.”
“Well, I don’t necessarily hide it, I usually just wear hats because it’s more comfortable for me. A lot of people are dyeing their hair now, so I don’t think I’ll get recognized if I didn’t wear one.”
“How many people have you seen with purple hair in public?”
“Quite a few people, actually. So do you want me to take it off?”
“Huh? Why? Aren’t you cold?”
“At least I have a scarf. And you said you wished I didn’t have to hide it.”
“Weren’t you the one who said we shouldn’t risk anything when asking to walk me home?”
“Fair. But that’s a completely different scenario. I took a risk going down the path I’m still on today.”
“That is irrelevant.”
“Worth a shot.”
He walks with you to your door again, ringing the doorbell as you waited an unusually long time for your mom to answer.
“My mom said she could get me a card for FNC so I could stay there instead of alone at home after school. I tell her once and I’m already being pampered.” You laugh, Jongseob’s face lighting up. “Really? You should text me when you arrive! I’ll come find you, and I won’t bother if you have homework to do!”
“She hasn’t gotten it for me yet, I’m still thinking about it.”
“You should say yes so we can see each other in person more often! As long as your school isn’t far from headquarters, though.”
“We see each other when we call.”
“Seeing you like this is often just my luck. Otherwise I’m busy practicing or resting in the dorms. I like being able to talk to you in person.”
And as he smiles, that same one always on his face whenever you two seem to be together, you remember that he’s still just a kid. He’s the same age as you and he’s already in the spotlight, under the watchful eyes of so many fans through their screens.
You get to see him beyond that screen. You’ve been able to see him, meet him, know him beyond his idol persona. And he’s comfortable enough to share who he really is with you. You feel grateful for that.
The front door opens, your mom welcoming you in and noticing your friend by the door as well. “Jongseob, what a nice surprise! Such a coincidence you two ran into each other again. Thank you for walking with Y/N.”
“You’re welcome, Mrs. L/N.”
“Do you need a ride back?”
“Jongseob!” Someone calls, a group of five guys crowded outside your house, which you then identify as his group. “Let’s go, dude! Food’s gonna get cold.” Another one adds.
“I should get going. See you tomorrow, hopefully?” He asks, almost promising.
“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”
You both stand there for a moment, looking at each other as if you were anticipating something as your mom goes ahead inside, the door still open. He suddenly steps forward and wraps his arms around you, one of his hands resting on top of your head.
You’re surprised, but return the hug carefully before he pulls away, sending you a small wave as he goes to join his group in departing.
Jongseob feels an elephant in the room as he walks with them, Theo carrying on a conversation that didn’t seem to make the vibe go away. It doesn’t seem to until they all got back to the dorm, when they started eating.
“That’s a different hat. What happened to the other one?” Intak asks rhetorically. “Y/N had it.” Soul answers nonchalantly, not seeming to understand the sarcasm behind it. “I gave it to her. She was cold.”
“Is she borrowing it?” Jiung asks. “I gave it to her. It’s hers now.” Jongseob reiterates, his point clarified.
“How does Soul know her name and we don’t?” Keeho asks, mouth full. “I talk to her all the time, do you not hear?” Everyone but Soul shakes their head. “She’s nice.” Soul adds.
“Hopefully she can come after school tomorrow. Her mom is trying to get her admission in so she doesn’t have to stay at home.”
“You met her mom?” Intak asks, Jongseob nodding. “I run into her in the halls, sometimes in the elevator.”
“What was the hug for? I swore she looked like she could’ve fallen asleep in your arms.” Theo asks, pointing out something that had Jongseob questioning.
“I… I don’t know.”
his first crush.
“I was feeling nice, I guess. It was cold. She looked cold.”
Jongseob didn’t really have a reason. He couldn’t think of why he left you off with a hug that night. The question kept him up all night.
Along with the speed of his racing heart.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
seob
seobie
jongseob
hi sorry
whats up?
my mom is looking for you what dance room are you in
why is she looking for me?
has to give you something? idk she told me to ask
okay im in 205
thanks
Jongseob puts his phone down and goes back to warming up, taking off his hat and focusing on himself. More specifically, his hair.
‘I really like your hair. I sometimes wish you didn’t have to hide it.’
Why couldn’t he get that out of his head?
As the song begins to end, he hears a knock on the door, finishing off and pausing the music before answering. He opens the door to reveal you, still in your school uniform.
“Hi!” You greet. At first, he’s stunned. You’re really here, and you’re really visiting him. “I got a card from the front desk.” He’s still standing there, jaw slack, staring at you in disbelief. All of a sudden, he’s hugging you, hiding your face in his shoulder as he looks up to check the halls, guiding you in and closing the door.
“Don’t want them to see you. But hi.” He mutters, clearing his throat after pulling away.
“They know I’m here. Have you warmed up yet? Are the rest of them coming?”
“Not for a while. I think I’ll take a break–“
“You dyed your hair!”
He freezes as your hand goes up to touch it. His color changed from lavender to a deep, light red. “Yeah. Do you like it?”
“It looks really good on you.”
“Do you prefer this or the purple?”
“Honestly, you look good with any color.” You sit down on the ground, opening your backpack but pausing before going any further. “Can I do my homework? I have one question left and it’s super easy.”
“Go ahead.”
Jongseob can’t help but focus on you the whole time, when you take your papers and pencils out, when you read through the worksheet, when you begin to write, so concentrated in the moment. He finds himself staring, and you do too.
“All done.” You look up to see him returning your gaze, something there when your eyes meet. “What was so interesting about me and my schoolwork?”
“Huh?”
“You were staring at me.”
He flushes, shaking his head and denying immediately. “No! I wasn’t!”
“Come on, you can admit it. You think I’m pretty.”
“I–“
“I think you’re pretty.”
You cut him off, answering with no shame and an innocent smile on your face. He can’t help but think you mean more than you really do. “You do?”
“Oh, I do. Your hair, your face, your style. It all compliments so well. Take it from me, I’m an artist.”
He thinks to himself as you await his answer. “I think you’re pretty too.”
“Really?”
“Really pretty.”
You both have the same kind of war going on in your head. You wish the other really meant it, but something was holding you back from believing they did. To outsiders, you looked like two people in love. In your head, you were hoping he really meant what he was saying.
“I, um, hope you don’t mind if I stay in for practice. And I do want to talk to you before your members get here.” You try to divert the conversation with the atmosphere telling you closure was needed. “Yeah, we’re working on our comeback actually, so…” He holds out his pinkie.
“You have to promise not to tell anyone. Not a peep.”
You lock your own with his. “Promise.” You both giggle at the gesture as your fingers pull away. “I know this is gonna sound like a really stupid, cheesy question, but do you mean it?”
The way you start off catches his attention. “Do I mean what?”
“When you said I was pretty.”
He’s stunned, stuck in place as he stares at you while forgetting to answer. “I know we’re still young, but I’ve had my heart toyed with before. And all he did was laugh.” You scooted closer to him. “So what I’m asking is, ‘seob, do you really think I’m pretty? Or are you just being nice?”
“What answer are you hoping to hear?”
“That you do. That you mean everything you’ve ever said to me.”
He’s frozen, all he can do is stare into your eyes as you await a response. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, I do mean it. You, Y/N, are one very pretty girl.”
“How many pretty girls do you see while out for work?”
“Many. None of them are as pretty as you.”
her first crush.
You know you’re the one that instigated this conversation, but still, you can’t help but blush at his response. “You’re all red.” He points out. “Do my words really mean that much to you?”
“All I wanted was closure.”
The door opens, Jongseob patting your head and joining the rest of the guys as if he didn’t just have you melting a few seconds ago.
You sat in the corner of the practice room, your face still hot, and your eyes focused on Jongseob the entire time.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
i want you to come visit but my mom isnt letting any visitors in the house
how come?
apparently we’re having a dinner party here in a few days or something? idk shes trying to keep it clean beforehand cuz my dad is finally coming back from his trip
he’s been overseas for how long??
a few months now, some promotion that he got resulted in him staying longer
oh wow
well you could come over to my dorm
actually?
i gotta ask the guys first
oh if u have to ask then its okay maybe next time
they said yes
i hear them cleaning up
what
are you coming or not
omw
You knock on their door, and when no one responds, you call Jongseob, and it suddenly opens to reveal sight of him holding the phone up to his ear.
“You have… a lot of stuff.” He points out, eyeing the large bag you’re carrying. “Are you sleeping over or something?”
“I actually… if it’s okay with you… wanted to do your makeup. I know you’ve been saying how much you want to try it and stuff and I figured we could do it if I saw you today but I forgot to ask–“
“Absolutely. Yes, please, come in, no one’s in my room. ‘Cause… I share a room, and, Jiung’s out and the rest are watching a movie.”
“I get it. I get your whole rooming thing. Am I gonna be in trouble for being here?”
“Not if you don’t get caught.”
“How mischievous of you. If you were to ever get into a scandal with me, would you care?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t mind that at all.”
You laugh it off as if your face wasn’t on fire, closing the door to his shared room.
“Ew, are they gonna make out in there?” Intak says in disgust with fake repulsion. “Just because Jongseob can get a girlfriend and you can’t is not a valid reason to be petty.” Keeho holds back his laugh. “Theo– you can’t say that! That is not funny!”
“Then why are you laughing?”
“…watch the movie.”
Meanwhile, in Jongseob’s room, you finish off his base, tapping brushes against palettes before gently stroking the pigments against his face. His eyes, specifically. The medium shade brought out the orange in his hair, but really, you’ve been wanting to try out a specific look for a while.
“Keep your eyes closed.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why?”
“Makes me feel old.”
“You’re older than me.”
“I’m the same age as you. Now hush.”
He blows a raspberry as you do his eyeliner, a miracle it didn’t smudge or that you didn’t mess up in any way. It was almost adorable how eagerly he nodded when you showed him your container of extra rhinestones.
You hand him a mirror, putting your extra equipment away before finding a tube of lipstick. “Wow.” is all he says until he puts the mirror down and sees you putting on said lipstick. “Oh, you were actually gonna… do that part?”
“Oh, no. I was just swatching. It’s a pretty shade, don’t you think?” Your lips are painted with a vibrant shade of red, bold and eye-catching as you turned to face your friend who’s struggling to keep his jaw from hanging. “Yeah. Really… bright.”
“Well, you know my style. Bold and bright. I decided to… take a break for a change. And I took it out on you.”
“You call this a break? I look fabulous.”
“It’s the rhinestone effect. But yes, this is a break since I only do my face most of the time. And the colours are neutral, but defined. Makeup therapy for me is a total stress reliever, but obviously my face can’t handle powders daily. And… I really needed this, especially after this week.”
“Exams?”
“I took them already.”
“This early?”
“I’m taking AP classes since I don’t do cram school. My school is aware, and honestly, surprised at my career choice. Peer pressure is getting to me more than it should.”
“I hope you don’t feel guilty about this in any way. You’re so talented.”
“My only talent is this. Maybe I’ll work behind the scenes in the entertainment industry all my life. And… there’s something else I need to tell you.”
“What is it?”
You exhale. “I got the job.”
“The job?”
“I’m your travelling makeup artist. I’ll be going with you for future tours and everything.”
He can’t stop his jaw from dropping now. “No way. You’re serious?” He asks, watching you nod eagerly as a big smile grows on his face, going in for a hug which you tightly return. “Y/N– that’s amazing! Does this mean I’ll get to see you every day?”
You nod. “It’s why I’m taking AP. Maybe I’ll switch next year, but I’m exempt from classes because of my success.”
“Wow, so privileged.”
“I’m just good at my job.”
You hear him chuckle, his eyes focused on you and that damn red lip. “I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you.” You stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry, it’s just hard to take you seriously with the makeup.”
“You’re the one that did it!”
“You’re never in my style, and it’s over the top!”
The door opens and you immediately pull away from Jongseob, taking out cleansing products after sorting everything else in your bag. Theo stands there, still, staring at your friend all glammed up.
“How do I look?” Jongseob asks with dramatic poses to show off his makeup, Theo taking out his phone and taking pictures of him silently. “You did this?” He asks you, pointing at the boy that had your heart racing. “Did I do good?”
“He looks great. You should come out and show the guys.”
“I don’t wanna watch the movie out there though.”
“You can go back in here and continue making out with Y/N or whatever it is that you were doing in here in the first place.”
“I was not– hey!” Theo’s dragging Jongseob out of the room by his wrist, unable to keep his grip on the doorframe as you hear him groan. You can all hear the guys gushing over Jongseob’s face from the room, poking jokes at him and teasing him.
“Is that lipstick? Did she kiss you?!”
“No, no, nothing like that! She was swatching and it must’ve smudged on me…”
“I thought you two were kissing when I walked in.”
“We hugged.”
“Sure.” One of them snarkily replies.
“I’m gonna tell you who dies if you don’t stop talking.” You hear Jongseob threaten, referring to the movie that was currently on pause in the living room.
“No!”
He silently comes back to the room, seeing you sitting there, cleansers still out as he shuts the door. “Is there really lipstick on me?” He asks, turning his head so you could see all angles of his face. “Oh, right there. How did I not notice that?” You get up with a makeup wipe, swiping it gently against the mark until is goes away.
It was only until you moved away that you noticed how close you were, and that he notice something missing. “You wiped off your lipstick already?”
“I told you I was swatching. I took photos.” ‘And I could see the way you looked at me.’ You thought. “I’d like to post them, but you’re an idol and all, so…”
“A shame, really. Do you wanna eat? Jiung got some takeout, and I don’t wanna take off your hard work for a little while.”
“Sure, but don’t expect me to take you seriously while you’re all glammed up.”
“You did this to me!”
“We are not having this conversation again.”
his first love, where he can’t imagine being with anybody else but you.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Jongseob’s met a lot of pretty girls. As an idol, it’s only natural he has to work with them, be in the same premise as them. Yet he can never see anything more to them because they aren’t like you.
Your snarky replies, your teasing, your genuine questions and need for reassurance, your automatic response to rely on him, contact him whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe it was because he’s spent so much time with you that he built this connection, but he learned that no one else could replicate this feeling he was so comfortable with.
This feeling that he only felt with you.
His members teased him mercilessly, especially on your first day on the job. You were assigned to him and specifically him (according to a colleague, he requested you), and every time anyone of his fellow group saw you working so close with him, they’d start laughing.
Jiung and Intak would take Jongseob’s phone from him if they were to ever find him on call with you. Keeho would give him those looks whenever he saw him smiling at his screen, and on his screen was you. Theo and Soul… they left him alone for the most part. They’d say hello and you guys would chat, but of course, Theo with his natural older brother energy, would occasionally tease him about it, usually through complaints.
“Jongseob, can you stop talking to your girlfriend and go to sleep? We have practice tomorrow.”
“Geez, you wanted her to swatch on you, didn’t you?”
“Watch where you’re going with that! I know you’re practically in love with her, but you should still pay attention to your surroundings!”
Soul simply encouraged the idea of you two together.
“She really likes you, I can tell.”
“Will you be out of the dorm more often when you two start dating?”
“You got her a ring? When is the wedding?”
And all Jongseob really wanted was to figure out if you really did like him or not. Because he felt like he could never experience such euphoria with anyone other than you.
He was only 18, why did he seem so sure about this? His mind was certainly older.
The door to the studio opens, and you enter, dropping your school bag onto the floor and looking absolutely spent.
“Are you okay?” He asks as you walk over, head in his chest. “Not even a hello?” You joke, looking up at him. “Tired. Long day. School’s a real pain in the ass when you have things to do outside of it. You’re lucky you’re busy enough that you don’t have to go.”
“Sometimes I wish I could. I’d enroll at your school and take all the classes with you so I’m not alone. Speaking of school, what happened to those girls who chased you?”
“Oh, them?” You laugh. “We’re cool now. One of them apologized to me. The rest followed. It took one longer than the rest to muster up the courage. They thought I hated them which is why they couldn’t talk about it in the first place, which is understandable.”
“Did you forgive them?”
“Not right away. I accepted their apology, but I’ll talk to tomorrow. It’s a little bit scary leaving work in fear of being chased and they kinda ignited that in me. I could never hate them, though. Maybe that’s a lie, but I guess when I thought I hated them, I was just afraid.”
“You’re so insightful it’s honestly attractive.” You look at him, amused. “Are you flirting with me, Jongseob?”
“Oh, I’m just being honest.”
“Sure. Your birthday just passed and your ego is suddenly through the roof.”
“Well, I am Kim Jongseob, so maybe my ego should’ve been through the roof a while ago.”
“Now you’re just sounding arrogant.”
“I’m just better.” You roll your eyes, looking at the computer in the corner of the room on the counter. “Can I change the music?” You ask, watching him walk over and open the right tab for you. You change the keyboard language to English, searching up a name so fast he doesn’t comprehend that the music already started. You walk away as he stays and reads the name off the screen.
Clementine – grentperez
He looks at you, who happened to already be waiting for him in the center of the room. He walks over, spinning you around and catching you, visibly surprised when the singing begins. “It’s in English?”
“Mhm.”
“Can you understand it?”
“A little bit. Otherwise, I like how it sounds. Can you understand it?”
“I’ve been getting better… at least I try to. It sounds good.”
“I should send you more of his works. I think you’d like those too.” You feel his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close enough into a hug. “Is this okay?” He feels you nod against his chest, your arms wrapping up and around his neck as the two of you simply sway to the music that filled the room.
To be in Jongseob’s arms, your best friend’s arms, like this was something you didn’t know you wanted to experience for as long as you could. This felt intimate, feeling closer with him like this more than any other hug you’ve shared.
You two probably looked like idiots to anyone that would walk in, but it was just the two of you, and all you could think about was how comfortable it was in each other’s arms.
There’s a spark. A spark that turns into a growing flame when your eyes meet. A flame that you wanted to keep ablaze but was on the edge of extinguishing. “You… you look really pretty.” He suddenly stutters, the flame growing a little bit more. “Thank you.”
“I really want to kiss you. Really, really bad.”
His abruptness catches you off guard, and it’s almost funny how the song began to near its climax.
“I’m sorry, was that too forward? Forget I said–“
“No one’s stopping you.”
It’s so cliche how the song reached its peak when his lips are on yours. You both were young, yet your minds were older. To kiss someone at such a moment for the first time in your life only made you fall in love with him even more, and really, you never thought you’d experience it so soon. With an idol, no less.
“Kim Jongseob!”
The sound of his name makes both of you pull away and look at the door, Intak, Jiung, and Theo standing there like they’ve seen a ghost. “What the hell are you doing?!” Intak exclaims, probably more aggressive than he meant to.
You both stand there, dumbfounded, and it wasn’t until you were back in your head that you both decide to separate from each other instantly. They looked angry. They probably didn’t feel that way, but in the moment, you felt humiliated. One second later, your face is hidden in his chest again, feeling his other hand on your back.
“I’m sorry.” You mutter against him, his hand patting your back reassuringly. “No, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”
“Don’t you feel the slightest bit embarrassed? Your friends just walked in on us kissing.”
“Oh, I do, absolutely. They’ll never let me hear the end of it.” You look up at him, and he’s smiling. “Then why don’t you seem that way?”
“Because I was kissing you.” Your heart beats faster than it ever has before when you’re with him. “You’re the only girl they’d want to see me kiss in the first place. Lucky for you, you’re the only girl I’ll ever wanna kiss in my whole life.”
“Since when did you get so romantic?”
“Since the day I met you in this very studio.”
Your worries suddenly melt away at his words, further assured he feels the same way you do.
“I really don’t mean to interrupt this very sentimental moment, but we have practice, so can you guys hurry it up a little bit?” Intak speaks up, appearing behind Jongseob out of nowhere. You pull away, going to get your things in the corner of the room, realizing he was following you. “You’re not gonna stay?” He asks, holding onto your hand.
“I have schoolwork to do, ‘Seob. And I need to talk to my coworkers at my part-time.” He pouts. “I know there’s so much more we need to talk about, but I’m eating into your practice time right now. I’ll call you, okay? We see each other tomorrow. Promise.” You squeeze his hand, feeling his other hand on top of yours.
“I thought you already quit that job.”
“They’re still my friends. I check in with them from time to time.” He sighs. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go.
Once you’re out of sight of the doorway, you can’t help but giggle and jump around out of pure excitement. You catch sight of Keeho and Soul in the hallway, greeting them briefly. “What’s got you so excited?” Keeho asks.
“He kissed me.” You watch his expression change to match yours, jumping around with you in the middle of the hallway. “No way! Are you serious?”
“The rest of them walked in on us…”
“I’ve literally been waiting for months for him to make a move and the one time I decide to leave later– ugh, I’m so happy for both of you!”
“And then he…” You point to your forehead. “He…” Keeho puckers his lips while you nod, the both of you proceeding to squeal almost too loud in the hallway. “Girl, please, you two are literally so freaking cute, you need to tell me more!”
“I really need to leave, I’m sorry!”
“It’s okay, we’ll see you tomorrow!”
You’re on your way to the convenience store, relieved to see both Mun-Hee and Shin-Il behind the counter, both of them equally shocked to see you there. “Y/N! I thought you were working.” Shin-Il says.
“I need to tell you guys something. Can I still come back here?”
“No. But you used to work here, so whatever.” An indirect invitation to come behind the counter given by Mun-Hee. “Judging from the look on your face, you either made progress with Jongseob or made out with Jongseob.” She adds.
“I kissed him, thank you very much.”
“Oh, shit.” She curses. “And he did it first?” You nod. “Damn, girl! He’s really down bad for you!”
“Is he your boyfriend now? He should be.” Shin-Il asks. “We didn’t have time to talk about it… he’s in a dance practice right now and I promised I’d call him.”
“Honey, no. This is the kind of thing you talk about in person. If he’s really dedicated and really loves you, he’d tell you. But with the amount of times you’ve breached health protocols with something to say about him, I think he really does love you in that way. But still, call him later. You promised.”
“You give all this advice as if you’ve ever been in an actual relationship.” Shin-Il jokes, resulting in a death glare from the most helpful former coworker in the moment. “Listen to her, not me.”
“Obviously.”
The welcoming bell chimes as someone enters, coming to the counter as quick as they came in. Mun-Hee looks in awe at the person as he stops at the counter, face lighting up. “We still on for tonight?” He hands her two 5000 won bills.
“Mhm.” She says in the most obvious lovesick tone, sliding the man’s items back towards him as she gives him his change. “I’ll see you later, Munmun.”
You hold back a laugh at the nickname, glancing between her and the man as he leaves the store. “Munmun.” You snicker, her not caring as she’s still in awe. “Who even is that guy?”
“They’ve been hooking up but then they actually started liking each other for more than the sex. Total K-drama material.”
“She did not need to know that!”
“If she can tell us about her love life, I can tell her about yours.”
“This is something entirely different! And what about you? Does she know that your little girlfriend calls you Shinnie now?”
You can’t hold back your laughter. “Pfft– Shinnie!? Munmun!? You guys are so corny!”
“Don’t you call your boyfriend ‘Seob’?” Shin-Il retorts. “Okay, but that’s just his name shortened. At least she didn’t add or double anything to it.” Mun-Hee reasons, receiving an eye roll from her coworker.
“I can’t believe we’re all in relationships now.” She adds. “I can’t believe you’re in a relationship! You’re so grouchy all the time, it’s hard to believe anyone would love that. You too, Y/N! You’re only 18 and you already kissed someone.”
“You still haven’t kissed anyone at your old age?!” You exclaim.
Mun-Hee sighs. “Can you tell it’s been rough without you here?”
“Definitely.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“So does my dad approve?”
You ask as Jongseob enters your bedroom, shutting the door gently before sitting across from you on your bed. “Of course he approved, I’m Kim Jongseob.”
Your dad had to go on another trip, which was prolonged, right after his first one due to a promotion offer that was promised if he continued to work efficiently overseas for a little longer. He got the promotion. He didn’t come back until mid-2021, and you didn’t tell him about your little relationship until today.
“I bet he’s pissed at me. I swore I meant to tell him, I just forgot.”
“He isn’t. He’s just… very surprised.”
“Understandable. I may or may not have rambled to him about you.”
“Did you say anything embarrassing?”
“No.”
“Then what did you say?”
“He asked me what I loved about you. It’s a long list.”
“We have time.”
He chuckles. “Okay, well, I said I love that you’re such a hard worker, and how devoted you are to anything that you do, how you never settle for less. How there’s a sparkle in your eye only I’m able to see when you get excited. How beautiful you are when you’re at your happiest, when you’re doing something that brings you comfort. Should I keep going?”
You’re too flustered to answer his question. “What did he say?”
“‘When’s the wedding?’”
You hit him playfully, hiding your face in the side of his arm, embarrassed that your face was so warm from something so simple. “You really noticed all of those little things?”
“Of course I did, you’re my girlfriend.”
You wanted to kiss him so bad in that moment, being interrupted by your mom barging in the room. She simply stares at both of you. “You’re nearly 19, I expect you to know what we don’t wanna hear in this house.” She closes the door, Jongseob getting up to lock it this time.
“My mom’s gonna get so suspicious next time she tries to open the door.”
“Valid. But we know our boundaries, don’t we?”
You fulfill what you imagined in your head, kissing him briefly and pulling away when you feel his hand tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“I know this is a super stupid random question, but what ever happened to those girls that chased you?” You’re surprised he still remembers. “I really haven’t told you? I guess it slipped my mind,” You start. “We’re chill now. They don’t bother me, I don’t bother them. I see them less anyways, so it works out.”
“Did they just stop harassing you or…?”
“Well, people mature and grow. They certainly did, going as far as apologizing for a whole week straight because they felt so guilty. They’re actually really nice, planning to also go in the beauty field.”
“And you’re gonna guide them?”
“Oh,” you scoff, “no. Dermatology. I cause the breakouts, they fix them.” He laughs at your joke, scooting closer to you.
“Wanna know something?” He mutters.
“What?”
“I don’t think I could ever love someone else the same way I love you.”
“Is that so?”
“Honey, I admire you. You’re amazing.”
“Speak for yourself, mister. So talented and famous for it. I think we’ve been keeping these words bottled up for years when we were just friends.”
“Mhm. There’s so much more I wanna say.”
“We have time.”
“It’ll take all week.”
“I have all the time in the world when I’m with you.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🐺: guys where is jongseob
🐶: is he not at y/n’s house??
🐺: we have a shoot tomorrow why is he at y/n’s house
🐿️: the shoot is next week are u dumb
🐺: damn bro mb
☀️: they’re gonna get married someday i just know it
🍟: he wanted her ring size (о´∀`о)
🐺: why is he there anyway??
☀️: he went to meet her dad
🐿️: OKAY JONGSEOB I SEE U MEETING THE FAMILY
🐯: are you guys talking bad about me
🐶: nah we’re just thinking about what kind of ring ur gonna get her
🐯: im still 18 calm down 💀 y/n’s dad said the same thing
☀️: even mr. l/n agrees
🍟: how is y/n?
🐯: she’s good, i actually might stay over tonight
🐺: WHAT
🐶: on a weekday is crazy
☀️: why arent u coming home?
🐯: she fell asleep on me i dont wanna wake her up
🐿️: do you have clothes?
🐯: 👍
🐶: bro is prepared he predicted this
🍟: say hi to her for me!!!!
🐯: alr goodnight guys im lowkey tired
🐺: jongseob sleeping early? thats new
🐯: i hope you have nightmares
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and if you’re fadin’, then honey i’ll be fadin’ too. darling, i don’t even know who i am without you. 🎧
433 notes · View notes
sxtvrns · 11 months
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the conversations i’ve had with the moon ☆彡
grentperez’s first ep, conversations with the moon, in the form of six p1harmony fics.
a comfort album for my comfort group :)
all works listed are pure fiction. please do not repost, translate, etc. my work on other platforms. all stories are afab reader.
divider creds in fics: @danowh0re
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YOON KEEHO!
still chatting…
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CHOI JIUNG!
still chatting…
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HWANG INTAK!
still chatting…
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CHOI TAEYANG!
still chatting…
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HAKU SHOTA!
purity and its presence in growth
Moving to Korea in the peak of your adolesence isn't easy. You just happened to be there to help. How can he miss you so much even though you only knew each other for an hour? Maybe exchanging numbers was a better idea than he thought.
word count: 12.9k
C: fluff, cute moments, inaccuracy, brainrot, baby p1ece don't slander me, needed to get this into my drafts immediately, kinda sloppy, drabble, puppy love, longer than it should be
🎶 now playing: my heart it beats for you
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KIM JONGSEOB!
the firsts i’ve never felt
You find yourself wandering the headquarters after being left unattended. He finds himself unreasonably intrigued by you.
word count: 11.6k
C: meet cute, fluff, puppy love, inaccuracy, a bit sloppy, mentions of bullying, kinda rushed?
🎶 now playing: clementine
41 notes · View notes
sxtvrns · 11 months
Text
the firsts i’ve never felt
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🎶 now playing: clementine - grentperez
P: Kim Jongseob x Fem!Reader
S: You find yourself wandering the headquarters after being left unattended. He finds himself unreasonably intrigued by you.
C: meet cute, fluff, puppy love, inaccuracy, a bit sloppy, mentions of bullying, kinda rushed?
N: i’ve transformed my entire feed and started a bunch of masterlists and stuff! this fic is part of one of them that i need to design and stuff but i hope you’re loving the organization because i certainly am. i really wanna write but my brain is running out of scenarios i can work off of so if you dont hear from me for a while you know why. if i don't get a hair colour right sue me i can't memorize everything | all ages listed are korean, not international!
view the rest of the conversations ☆彡
please interact if you enjoy!
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“Hey, honey, do you wanna come and visit my new job today? They’re showing me around, and you’re planning to work in the entertainment industry behind the scenes, aren’t you?”
…sounds like a super unprofessional thing for your mom to say on her first day of the job. However, the staff gave her leeway somehow after saying you were an aspiring makeup artist with a growing following. She said you could join in a few years, if you’d like. You still had time to think about it.
“So, how old is your daughter?” The employee asks.
“16.”
“What kind of makeup does she do?”
“She has a rather… broad spectrum. I could go into specifics but that would require me showing you examples and taking up your time.”
“Oh, go ahead! Besides, I could use a break from the work.”
The door to the elevator opens with a ding, both adults behind you not seeming to pay attention. You quickly but stealthy walk off the elevator, their attention still focused on your mom’s phone. As the doors close, they still don’t seem to notice, instead they continue going up, and you’re left alone in the quiet, empty hallway.
Somewhat quiet, actually. There was loud music coming from some of the rooms you could hear from outside as you walked by. Your phone buzzed in your hand, though you aren’t bothered to check it until another staff member sees you in the hall. She goes on her phone, types rapidly on the screen, and starts walking towards you.
You walk away from her at a quickened pace, turning the corner and beginning to run. You turn the corner again, briefly glancing at the rooms as you pass by, all of them with people inside and the lights on. Except for one.
The sound of steps sounded like it grew withe presence of multiple people, so you had no time to check and instead opened the door, and to your relief, no one was inside. You shut it quietly, hiding against the wall in hopes that the crowd passes by.
The buzzing from your phone earlier was frantic texts from your mom, asking where you went and specifying that the staff was now looking for you. You replied calmly that you ‘took yourself on your own tour’ and ‘got off as a joke in hopes she would notice’. You could practically hear her sigh at her phone as she responds with ‘i’ll keep you updated’ before leaving you on read.
You slide down against the wall, sitting and observing the environment around you. This was a dance studio, one of many that looked the same as some of the others. You didn’t want to get caught, so you stayed there for a bit on your phone, caught off guard at the sound of someone opening the door.
At first you panic, thinking someone from staff found you, but it was just some guy adorned in all black with a beanie and a mask, taking both of them off and somehow not noticing you.
You spoke too soon.
the first meet.
His eyes widened at the sight of you, the door he held open by a sliver. You hear something from outside.
“Jongseob, there’s some new hire’s daughter on the loose and she was last seen on this floor, have you seen her?” A staff member asks, the boy’s head peeking back in to look at you. You frantically shake your head and gesture for him to keep his mouth shut as he peeks out the door right after.
“I haven’t seen her, sorry.”
He fully closes the door this time, a sigh of relief escaping you as your eyes stayed glued on the boy that was nice enough to not snitch. “What are you doing here?” He asks, a reasonable question since you were in the studio for a reason other than dancing. “My mom works here. She’s starting today. And… I may or may not have gotten off the elevator too early.” You try to sum it up.
“Why?”
“Um, they were distracted. And I didn’t think the door would close right after I got off.”
“How did they even let you in?”
“I might work someplace like this as a makeup artist. When I’m older. My mom brought me along for her tour, and… that’s how I ended up here. I was running away from staff. If you want, I can leave.”
“I didn’t lie just for you to get out and defeat the whole purpose of it. It’s okay, you can stay as long as you need to.”
“Really? I’m not intruding?”
“My members won’t be here for the next little while, if you’re overwhelmed by the presence of multiple men.”
His joke makes you laugh, and you inch out of the corner you’re hiding in more, seeing him walk towards you and open the laptop on the desk. “How old are you now?” He suddenly asks, a question you find odd at first.
“16.” (international age = 14, turned 15 after a few weeks)
“Really? Me too.”
“You looked a little young. Are you a trainee?”
“I actually debuted a few weeks ago. We’re doing some promotional stuff and we have practice today.”
“Do you want me to leave when they arrive?”
“You can stay for now. It’s up to the leader if he wants you in or not. I guess if you aren’t distracting, you could watch. But I gotta wait for him.”
“I’ll check you guys out sometime. All the groups are listed in the lobby, so…”
“P1Harmony. You’ll find us easily.”
Quiet clicks come from the mousepad, as you merely stare up at him, who seems to be so focused on the screen in front of him. He looks up, then looks down at you, and your observing gaze fixed on his face. He ponders, before holding his hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m–“
“Jongseob. You’re Jongseob.”
You finish his sentence for him, leaving him visibly surprised as you shake his hand.
“Um, I heard them say your name from the hall.” You explain, him nodding. “I’m Y/N.”
“That’s a pretty name.”
You find yourself blushing. “Thank you… um, also for not snitching. I texted my mom that I was okay, so everything should be fine now.”
“That’s good. Maybe don’t get off the elevator while she’s distracted next time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Music starts playing from the speakers, Jongseob walking away to the center of the room to warm up. Your eyes are on him the entire time, since there was nothing else you could focus on. Even if you tried going on your phone, the music would draw your attention away from it.
You had a short attention span.
But watching Jongseob merely warm up seemed to prove otherwise. Your eyes were glued to his movements and small yet precise spotting, how precise he was when he matched every beat and transition. You stared at his reflection and his back the whole time, gaze moving to his face.
He caught you staring, looking back at you through the reflection of the mirror with a subtle smirk before going back to dancing.
He comes back to pause the music while you space out staring at the floor, as he takes off his beanie and runs his hand through his hair. “How’d I do? Seemed like I caught your attention.”
You clear your throat. “Good. Really good.”
He believes you have another reason you aren’t telling him, still deciding to sit down beside you despite doing so. “What are you doing?” You ask, looking at him. “Sitting with you. Why, does this bother you?”
“No. Just… I thought you’d be warming up more. That seemed short.”
“It seemed short because you were watching me. I was dancing for, what, a little over 10 minutes? I think I’ve warmed up enough.”
“Right.” You say, kind of understanding what he’s saying. “I like your hair. The colour is very pretty.” A light purple that could be described as lavender was what it was. It painted him as docile, gentle. He seemed to be so, given he was sitting with you like this along the side of the room.
“Thank you.” He smiles, sounding genuine. So genuine, in fact, that he smiles at you for the first time with his teeth showing, his hand covering his mouth right after. You take a mental note of that habit. “When did you start training?” You ask.
“When I was 12.” (international age = 10, turned 11 later that year due to late birthday)
“That young?! When I was 12 I was still scared of the concept of paragraphs…”
“I’ve always wanted to be a singer. Perform for others. There was a chance, so I took it.”
“I admire you for that. Taking risks that benefited you later in the future.”
“You took a risk today.”
“I did?”
“You stepped off the elevator and outran a bunch of staff successfully.”
“And I benefited from it how?”
“You met me.”
You’re unsure if he’s flirting with you, but your face heats up regardless. “Yet I’ll never see you again. But… I enjoy your company. And I appreciate your kindness.” When you look up from the ground, he’s handing you his phone, the keypad open.
“Let’s keep in touch.”
At first, you’re a little stunned at his boldness. But you accept his offer, typing in your phone number and letting him do the same with your phone right after. “I’ll try to text you back when I can. I’m pretty busy.”
“And I’ll try to not keep my phone on silent. I’ve missed so many interviews because of it…”
“For part-time jobs?” You nod. “I later learned they weren’t paying what they should be, so I guess I dodged a bullet.”
“Do you have a job now?”
“I work at a convenience store for income. My mom’s always saying I never needed to take a part-time job claiming we’re somewhat rich, but I wanted a bit of independence for myself. And I get free food and snacks sometimes, so that’s a bonus.”
“If I come visit, will I get free food?”
“Convenience store snacks are cheap enough already. Maybe I’ll give you ₩489 off.”
(₩489 = 0.50 cents)
He laughs at your offer. “I’ll take it.”
The door suddenly opens, five other men coming in all at once, stopping once they notice the two of you sitting together against the wall.
“Hello.” Jongseob greets, getting up. “Who’s that?” One of them asks, looking at you. “A… friend.” He responds.
“How did she get in here?”
“Long story.”
Their stares are reasonable, yet they make you feel uncomfortable as you feel out of place cooped up against the wall. Jongseob seemed to notice, shooting you a quick question. “Are you okay?”
The sound of his has your head turned to face him as you nod, acting like you weren’t spaced out prior. “I’m fine. This is the rest of your group?”
“Yeah. You can stay for practice if you’d like. I’ll ask Keeho.”
Surely they wouldn’t mind, you were just afraid you’d misinterpret their gazes for glares that would scare you off. “I would, but I should go. I already texted my mom earlier that I’d be leaving while she was still working. But I’ll leave. I don’t want to be… distracting.”
“You aren’t distracting at all.” He attempts to reassure you.
“Says the one who was looking at me through the mirror’s reflection.”
“Jongseob, should we warm up?” One of the boys asks, taking off their hoodie and beanie while they all simultaneously look at the two of you. That was an indirect invitation saying that they were about to start, him getting up his spot and lending you a hand to do the same.
“Thank you, Jongseob. I’ll text you.” He nods with a smile as you leave the room, your fast paced steps almost being heard from the inside of the room.
“Who was that, Jongseob?” Theo asks as the youngest walks over. “A new friend. She kinda abandoned her mom unintentionally and hid in here from the staff.”
“Oh, her. The people downstairs were talking about it.” Intak adds.
“In a good way or a bad way?”
“Mixed. How come her mom brought her here?”
“Y/N’s planning to work in the industry as a makeup artist, and her mom wanted to show her a potential place for hiring since she’s already working here.”
“She said she’d text you.” ‘What does that mean?’ Keeho meant to ask.
“I gave her my number.”
They’re all surprised, wide eyed and everything. “Really?”
“I wanna talk to her more. I think you guys scared her off.”
“We don’t look scary.” Intak looks at himself, then everybody else. Jongseob’s eyes dart over all five of them briefly. “You guys look terrifying.”
“As if you weren’t wearing the same thing when you left the apartment.” Theo sneers, looking at him weirdly. “Hey, she liked my hair and I saved her from a bunch of staff. I’m a pretty approachable person even with the coverups.”
“You approached her.” Theo retorts.
“And?”
Intak, very obviously antsy, whines. “Can we just start, please? We’ll talk about this later.” He groans in distress, convincing the rest of the boys to move on. Keeho speaks up first from the sea of silent stares.
“Let’s go, then.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
On the way home from school, you usually take the shift right after at the convenience store you worked at. It was close to home but not far from school, you managed to be on time for majority of your shifts.
Your coworker seemed to be eye candy for the girls your age that came in, but you saw him more as an older brother figure. He was super nice and always filled in for when you weren’t feeling well, and frankly, you thought it was a bit strange girls your age were pining over a man in his late 20s.
You had your fair share of attraction to more famous people that were older than you, but the fact you knew your coworker long enough to know things about him kind of made some situations awkward. Sure, he was cute, but come on. He’s practically looking for an actual job already and the fact he’s stuck with you is because he actually enjoys his part-time and you two were always only available for the same time slot every day.
You weren’t working today. You knew he was. So you assumed that it would just be a straight shot walk home.
Until you remembered you were a victim of verbal harassment.
You never did anything wrong, you were just laughed at and picked on by a specific group of girls for a reason you didn’t know. You always believed it was because you were prettier than them, given that their crushes ended up all mutually pining over you rather than them.
It’s a joke that you laugh at with them at times, yet the girls still don’t seem to like you.
At least they weren’t cutting your hair or anything. You could take words but you couldn’t take a pencil being dug into your hand.
So when you saw those girls turn the corner, you ran, fingers crossed they didn’t see you.
“Y/N, come back! We have something to tell you!”
They saw you.
With your backpack almost falling off, and the sound of rapid footsteps that sounded like they were getting closer, you spot the convenience store you worked at and run in, your coworker behind the desk and watching you hide behind the shelf closest to the wall.
At first, you’re panting, out of breath and coughing as you try to get it back.
“Y/N?”
You look up.
Jongseob is standing there, fridge door held open by his hand with a drink in the other, small clouds of steam coming from the cool air hitting the heated room. “Hi.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You would’ve told him the truth if the story was so long. You peek up from the shelf, fully standing up when you see no one there. “Are you hiding from someone?” He asks, obviously and reasonably clueless as he lets the door close. You merely nod, seeing the girls out of the corner of your eye through the glass and ducking down again, dragging Jongseob along with you.
The bell above the door rings as shuffling can be heard going towards the counter.
“Shin-Il! We saw Y/N come in here, did you see her?” One of the girls’ ear piercing voices rings in your ears, their attempt at acting cute and desperate simply making you cringe. Luckily you told your coworker about your complicated situation with these girls. “No, sorry. She isn’t working today.”
While you’re mentally pleading that they don’t care enough to check around the store, Jongseob’s eyes stay on you and dart around just in case, being able to hear the brief conversation as he stares.
“We’re looking for her! Are you sure she isn’t in the bathroom or something?”
“She isn’t here. Maybe she went somewhere else.”
They all whine, leaving the store as you let out a sigh of relief. You look up to see Jongseob offering you a hand, which you accept, helping you up as you lean against the fridge door, in disbelief that those girls were so clueless.
“Why were they looking for you?”
“They hate me, that’s why.”
“Why would they hate you?”
“Because I’m prettier than them. Long story.”
“The boys they liked all ended up liking Y/N collectively. Friendly with the boys, tormented by the girls.” Shin-Il suddenly appears out of nowhere, handing you a small bottle of water. “Who’s this, Y/N?”
“My friend.”
“How do you two know each other?” Jongseob asks.
“We work together part-time. We always end up picking the same shifts, and I make sure she doesn’t get killed by her fellow classmates when they come to visit.”
“Are these girls really bullying you, Y/N? Have you brought it up with anyone?” Jongseob asks, the worry noticeable in his tone. “They haven’t physically harmed me. When you consider all the details, they’re just jealous.”
“I don’t know any of the details, and that’s why I’m concerned.”
“I’m fine, Jongseob, really. I think I just… need to stay in here for a while. Just in case they’re in any of the other stores.”
“I can walk home with you, if you’d like.” He starts. “Um, just in case they show up or something, I can like, cover you–“
“I’d like that.”
You cut him off with your straightforward answer, and he seemed to be content as he sends you a closed lip smile. “Are you ready to go? Do you want anything?” He asks, looking out the window just in case. “I haven’t eaten lunch today, but I don’t have enough money on me.”
“I can pay for you. Get whatever.”
“Really? But I don’t know when I’ll pay you back.”
“You don’t have to if you can’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Jongseob–“
“Y/N, please. It’s okay, really. If you want to stay here and eat, you can do that too. I’ll wait.”
You feel a bit guilty as you get yourself dosirak and a small container of banana milk, seated at the window seat as Jongseob pays for your food. He sits down beside you, looking at the window and staring at you through your reflection in it. “Is it okay if you can tell me why those girls don’t like you?”
You swallow. “It’s really not a big deal, Jongseob.”
“Yes, it is. I know we’ve only ever talked a few times through text, but I’m… it sounds concerning that they’re willing to chase you for a few insults.” You sigh, taking a sip of your banana milk before trying to rack together all the pieces of the story.
“Well, Shin-Il kind of explained it to you already. Those girls have a crush on some guys, and those guys, at one point, ended up liking me. Now I just make fun of them for it as an inside joke, so I’m friendly with them. They don’t like me in that way anymore. Those girls dislike me because the guys liked me instead of them. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah. That’s… stupid.”
“It is. They’re too ignorant to see that there’s really nothing there anymore. Otherwise, I feel we could be good friends. But I’m patient enough to wait until they realize their harassment was for a reason thats existence already faded away.” You continue to wolf down on your food, as hungry as you were, Jongseob merely keeping watch outside and of you. To make sure you weren’t choking, of course.
As you leave the store and your walk home begins, so does the empty feeling in the air.
“Are you sure the walk home isn’t far?” You ask. “No, I’ll be okay. It won’t be dark for a bit.”
“And… I promise I’ll pay you back, okay?”
“You really don’t have to…”
“Yes, I do. I know you’re an idol and all that, but you’re still a human with morals.”
“If you insist. But if you can’t, you don’t have to.”
“I will.”
Jongseob’s beanie hides his vibrant purple hair, and as much as you are disappointed you aren’t able to see it, you understand that it would be a dead giveaway that he was in the entertainment industry.
“I watched your show the other day.”
“Really? How did I do?”
“You were awesome! I think it’s cool that there’s an idol out there my age, and I’m friends with you, no less. You looked really good, too.”
“Thank you…” He wasn’t expecting to get so flustered over your compliments. Lucky he had no choice but to wear his mask. Jongseob watches as you bring your phone to your ear as you send a greeting over to the person on the other side of the line.
“I’m coming, I’m on my way home.”
“Yes, I’m okay. I’m with a friend right now.”
“He’s walking home after me, he’ll be okay.”
“Look, can you not be go crazy over this right now? I’ll talk to you later.”
“What do you mean ‘you want to meet him’?! You never want to meet anyone!”
“Okay, okay, fine, just stop screaming in my ear. Bye.” You end the call and let out a frustrated growl as you tighten your grip on your phone. “Everything okay?” Jongseob asks hesitantly.
“Just because I said I’m walking home with a ‘he’ my mom’s freaking out over it and now she wants to meet you.”
“I think I’ve run into your mom while at headquarters. She acknowledges me but is usually in a rush.”
“She’s usually late, that’s why. But she always gets one step ahead of her work, so she always gets excused. But seriously, is it just because you’re a guy that she wants to meet you? She didn’t ask to meet my other female friends and they just met her voluntarily while walking with me.”
“What about your dad?”
“Overseas for work. He’s coming back in a few weeks. He’s much more laid back. I think my mom is a bit… overprotective. I can understand that, but she could’ve asked me to introduce you without screaming at me…”
“Is she… abusing you?”
“God, no! It’s just one of those days, y’know? Maybe she got pissed off she stubbed her toe or something. And just because she always wants to keep watch over me, I feel like retaliating.”
“Is that why you stepped off the elevator?”
“Not really. Maybe.”
He can’t help but smile after uncovering your true motive.
As you approach the door, you have no choice but to knock given that your keys were probably buried somewhere deep in your backpack. Your mom opens the door with a relieved sigh as she opens her arms for a hug, which you reluctantly accept in front of Jongseob. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you, honey, I… I was having a bad day and I took it out on you and I was worried that–“
“Mom. It’s okay, I get it.” She smiles softly, any grudge you held against her melting away instantly. It was surprising how she was able to manipulate you so quickly. “You’re friends with Jongseob?” She asks.
“You know his name?”
“Of course I know his name, your mom works at FNC too.” She says, referring to herself in the third person. “Are you sure you can walk home alone? Isn’t it a bit far by foot?”
“I’ll be okay, ma’am.”
“I can give you a ride, it’ll be much faster.”
“My dorm isn’t too far from here and it won’t be dark for a while. Thank you for the offer.”
“Get home safe, okay?”
“I will. Bye Y/N.” He says his goodbyes as he walks away from the premises of your house, your mom letting you in and closing the door fully. “You didn’t tell me you were friends with Jongseob. I would’ve started bringing you to work after school so you don’t have to stay home alone. I could get you a pass to come in.”
“Isn’t that an abuse of your position?”
“I care about my daughter, what kind of abuse is that?”
You sigh followed by a smile as you begin to head up the stairs.
“You should’ve gotten his phone number before he left!” She yells before you disappear into your room.
“I already have it!” You yell back.
“Since when?”
You freeze, unable to think of an answer.
“Long story!”
“I have time!”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Shin-Il!”
“Shin-Il, I got this for you!”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Shin-Il!”
You roll your eyes as the countless crowds of girls just keep coming into the store. As much as it was annoying, you were glad you basically hogged all the free time since Shin-Il just had to be at the counter to tend to the flock.
“You could be doing better things right now.” He says, turning back to look at you. “Like what?” You rhetorically ask, looking up from your phone. “Restocking the shelves, cleaning the floors, doing your homework.”
“I am a very diligent student, thank you very much.”
“You don't even go to cram school. What about your fans?”
“I already posted last week. They know how intricate the process can be.” He begins to leave when you stop talking. “Gonna use the bathroom. The minute you stand up, you’re on register duty for the rest of the shift.”
“Then I’m not gonna stand up.”
He snatches the phone out of your hand, dangling it above his head. “Hey!” You jump up, struggling to reach your phone. Curse men for being so tall. “Give it back!” He hands the phone back to you, putting a hand on your shoulder and whispering into your ear.
“Your shift begins now.”
Jerk.
“That wasn’t even fair!” Shin-Il ignores you as you hear a door from a distance shut and lock. You sigh, annoyed, shoving your phone in your pocket before briefly scanning whatever was in view in case it needed restocking.
You don’t seem to be paying attention, because by the time you blink, a person is waiting at the counter.
“I’m so sorry, I’ll take those.” You apologize, embarrassed, scanning the person’s items and bagging them for him. You’re struggling to make eye contact as the person pays you, insisting you keep the change as they walk off. “Next.” You call, the person in line putting his things on the counter.
“Did you find everything you–“ You look up to see Jongseob, an innocent, toothy smile on his face. You noticed his fang, something you couldn’t help but find charming. “Hi.”
“Hi. Slow today?”
“All the customers came for Shin-Il and that’s it. You’re the second person I’ve served today.”
“I’m honored.”
“I don’t even know where he is and why he’s taking so long in the stupid bathroom. Anyways, how come you came here? Isn’t there a place closer to your dorm?”
“I just happened to be in the area. I also wanted to see you.”
Your heart flutters at the thought, but you shove those feelings down before it can reach your head. “Really? You could’ve just went someplace closer.”
“I figured I’d come say hi. I feel like this is the only time we can see each other like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like normal teenagers with normal lives.”
He pays for his items, leaving a container of banana milk out of his grasp. “You forgot–“
“It’s for you. Take it.”
“Jongseob, how am I gonna pay you back?”
“Don’t.”
“But–“
“Shhh.” He leans in, sliding the container towards you. “Let me be nice to you, okay?” He pulls away, acting as if he wasn’t so bold a few seconds ago. “Do you want me to walk you home again? I’ll ask the guys to come find me so I won’t have to walk home alone.”
“I don’t– um... I’ll be off a bit late.”
“Which gives me more of a reason to walk with you. It’s dark and you’ll be alone.”
“You know I don’t live far.”
“And you know that this is a safer decision and you’re ultimately denying it for the sake of my safety and convenience.”
“Jongseob, your safety matters way more than mine. You’re a freaking idol, for God’s sake. And I thought you came alone, what do you mean the guys can find you?”
“We decided to go out together. We ended up splitting up to explore and look around by ourselves. I think I’m the only person that went alone."
"I can tell. Did you ask them if they wanted anything?"
"Theo and Jiung are grabbing food for later." He pauses. "My offer still stands." He reminds, persistent. You look at him, appreciating his kindness but unsure if he was willing to wait. "I don't get off until 8."
"I'll walk around after I eat. You can call me when you're done."
Though you feel a bit guilty, it really seemed like he wasn't backing down. "Sure. Thanks. You're also holding up the line." He smiles before taking his items with him as he finds a seat, you taking the banana milk and sliding it closer to you and to the side. Shin-Il finally comes back after taking who knows how long in the bathroom, eyes landing on your friend.
"He's here again. You two must be close."
"Eh... lucky circumstance. What were you even doing in the bathroom, you weirdo?"
"What else would I be doing besides use it for its intended purpose?"
"No one pisses for 5 minutes, Il. You aren't fooling anyone. Is it that girl you're talking to?"
"I am not talking to anyone."
"When those girls find out they are gonna freak."
"I was buying tickets for a thing."
"I thought all public events were closed. You aren't that slick."
"Okay, maybe it is about that girl, but we're just going somewhere, that's all. But I was buying tickets for an exhibition, she loves art."
"Aw, how cute. So when's the wedding?" You take a sip from the small container of banana milk Jongseob bought for you, noticing he isn't in his seat anymore. How did he eat so fast? "Y/N, can you do restocks? We'll make more sales if I'm at the counter."
"You aren't that handsome. The schoolgirl rush is over, no one's gonna come in."
You were wrong.
Many people came in, just not his usual audience, but at least they weren't all up on him. You could hear the compliments from the fridge, but nothing seemed to bother you or him one bit.
As you take an empty box to the back, you go to grab another one until Shin-Il stops you. "I'll take it from here. Mun-Hee clocked in early. And you have a visitor." He pats your back as you get up, seeing Jongseob waving at you with a smile, taking his phone out and showing you the screen.
"It's 8 o'clock."
At first, you're shocked by his dedication, but frantically hurry to the back to clean up and grab your things in order to not keep him waiting. When you get back, you see him talking with your coworker, and you interrupt in order to stop Shin-Il from potentially saying anything embarrassing.
"All ready? Let's go."
You both say your goodbyes as you walk out the store, Mun-Hee nudging Shin-Il in the side. "Kid's got a boyfriend now?" She asks, only receiving a shrug in return. She's content with the answer, going back to your unfinished restocking job.
"You really did mean it when you said you'd wait."
"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"
"Sometimes people change their minds or things happen out of their control that they just can't make it."
"I just walked around the park nearby and stuff. And– oh, I just remembered something." He stops, taking his beanie off and putting it on your head, revealing the alluring lavender that coloured his hair, something you secretly found appealing. You don't even have time to process that you were wearing the hat that covered his beautiful colour. "Jongseob, your hair. People might recognize you."
"Brought an extra. It's a bit late, so I doubt I'll get asked for a photo."
"So you planned this?"
"Whenever you send me selfie updates, you're never wearing a hat. You aren't even wearing a scarf, are you not freezing?"
"I am. I didn't think it'd get this cold, so I didn't bring one since it was warmer this morning."
"It'll always be colder at night, Y/N. You need to remember that, especially since you're working late."
"Did you even wash this?"
"Five times through the cycle. You seem to like it when we see each other, and conveniently, colder weather is approaching so I thought you should have it. You don’t have any hats at home?”
“I forgot to bring one. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. No need to pay me back, by the way.”
By the time you look back at him, his hair is covered again with another beanie, his stealthiness making you stifle a chuckle. “What?”
“I like your hair. I sometimes wish you didn’t have to hide it.”
“Well, I don’t necessarily hide it, I usually just wear hats because it’s more comfortable for me. A lot of people are dyeing their hair now, so I don’t think I’ll get recognized if I didn’t wear one.”
“How many people have you seen with purple hair in public?”
“Quite a few people, actually. So do you want me to take it off?”
“Huh? Why? Aren’t you cold?”
“At least I have a scarf. And you said you wished I didn’t have to hide it.”
“Weren’t you the one who said we shouldn’t risk anything when asking to walk me home?”
“Fair. But that’s a completely different scenario. I took a risk going down the path I’m still on today.”
“That is irrelevant.”
“Worth a shot.”
He walks with you to your door again, ringing the doorbell as you waited an unusually long time for your mom to answer.
“My mom said she could get me a card for FNC so I could stay there instead of alone at home after school. I tell her once and I’m already being pampered.” You laugh, Jongseob’s face lighting up. “Really? You should text me when you arrive! I’ll come find you, and I won’t bother if you have homework to do!”
“She hasn’t gotten it for me yet, I’m still thinking about it.”
“You should say yes so we can see each other in person more often! As long as your school isn’t far from headquarters, though.”
“We see each other when we call.”
“Seeing you like this is often just my luck. Otherwise I’m busy practicing or resting in the dorms. I like being able to talk to you in person.”
And as he smiles, that same one always on his face whenever you two seem to be together, you remember that he’s still just a kid. He’s the same age as you and he’s already in the spotlight, under the watchful eyes of so many fans through their screens.
You get to see him beyond that screen. You’ve been able to see him, meet him, know him beyond his idol persona. And he’s comfortable enough to share who he really is with you. You feel grateful for that.
The front door opens, your mom welcoming you in and noticing your friend by the door as well. “Jongseob, what a nice surprise! Such a coincidence you two ran into each other again. Thank you for walking with Y/N.”
“You’re welcome, Mrs. L/N.”
“Do you need a ride back?”
“Jongseob!” Someone calls, a group of five guys crowded outside your house, which you then identify as his group. “Let’s go, dude! Food’s gonna get cold.” Another one adds.
“I should get going. See you tomorrow, hopefully?” He asks, almost promising.
“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”
You both stand there for a moment, looking at each other as if you were anticipating something as your mom goes ahead inside, the door still open. He suddenly steps forward and wraps his arms around you, one of his hands resting on top of your head.
You’re surprised, but return the hug carefully before he pulls away, sending you a small wave as he goes to join his group in departing.
Jongseob feels an elephant in the room as he walks with them, Theo carrying on a conversation that didn’t seem to make the vibe go away. It doesn’t seem to until they all got back to the dorm, when they started eating.
“That’s a different hat. What happened to the other one?” Intak asks rhetorically. “Y/N had it.” Soul answers nonchalantly, not seeming to understand the sarcasm behind it. “I gave it to her. She was cold.”
“Is she borrowing it?” Jiung asks. “I gave it to her. It’s hers now.” Jongseob reiterates, his point clarified.
“How does Soul know her name and we don’t?” Keeho asks, mouth full. “I talk to her all the time, do you not hear?” Everyone but Soul shakes their head. “She’s nice.” Soul adds.
“Hopefully she can come after school tomorrow. Her mom is trying to get her admission in so she doesn’t have to stay at home.”
“You met her mom?” Intak asks, Jongseob nodding. “I run into her in the halls, sometimes in the elevator.”
“What was the hug for? I swore she looked like she could’ve fallen asleep in your arms.” Theo asks, pointing out something that had Jongseob questioning.
“I… I don’t know.”
his first crush.
“I was feeling nice, I guess. It was cold. She looked cold.”
Jongseob didn’t really have a reason. He couldn’t think of why he left you off with a hug that night. The question kept him up all night.
Along with the speed of his racing heart.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
seob
seobie
jongseob
hi sorry
whats up?
my mom is looking for you what dance room are you in
why is she looking for me?
has to give you something? idk she told me to ask
okay im in 205
thanks
Jongseob puts his phone down and goes back to warming up, taking off his hat and focusing on himself. More specifically, his hair.
‘I really like your hair. I sometimes wish you didn’t have to hide it.’
Why couldn’t he get that out of his head?
As the song begins to end, he hears a knock on the door, finishing off and pausing the music before answering. He opens the door to reveal you, still in your school uniform.
“Hi!” You greet. At first, he’s stunned. You’re really here, and you’re really visiting him. “I got a card from the front desk.” He’s still standing there, jaw slack, staring at you in disbelief. All of a sudden, he’s hugging you, hiding your face in his shoulder as he looks up to check the halls, guiding you in and closing the door.
“Don’t want them to see you. But hi.” He mutters, clearing his throat after pulling away.
“They know I’m here. Have you warmed up yet? Are the rest of them coming?”
“Not for a while. I think I’ll take a break–“
“You dyed your hair!”
He freezes as your hand goes up to touch it. His color changed from lavender to a deep, light red. “Yeah. Do you like it?”
“It looks really good on you.”
“Do you prefer this or the purple?”
“Honestly, you look good with any color.” You sit down on the ground, opening your backpack but pausing before going any further. “Can I do my homework? I have one question left and it’s super easy.”
“Go ahead.”
Jongseob can’t help but focus on you the whole time, when you take your papers and pencils out, when you read through the worksheet, when you begin to write, so concentrated in the moment. He finds himself staring, and you do too.
“All done.” You look up to see him returning your gaze, something there when your eyes meet. “What was so interesting about me and my schoolwork?”
“Huh?”
“You were staring at me.”
He flushes, shaking his head and denying immediately. “No! I wasn’t!”
“Come on, you can admit it. You think I’m pretty.”
“I–“
“I think you’re pretty.”
You cut him off, answering with no shame and an innocent smile on your face. He can’t help but think you mean more than you really do. “You do?”
“Oh, I do. Your hair, your face, your style. It all compliments so well. Take it from me, I’m an artist.”
He thinks to himself as you await his answer. “I think you’re pretty too.”
“Really?”
“Really pretty.”
You both have the same kind of war going on in your head. You wish the other really meant it, but something was holding you back from believing they did. To outsiders, you looked like two people in love. In your head, you were hoping he really meant what he was saying.
“I, um, hope you don’t mind if I stay in for practice. And I do want to talk to you before your members get here.” You try to divert the conversation with the atmosphere telling you closure was needed. “Yeah, we’re working on our comeback actually, so…” He holds out his pinkie.
“You have to promise not to tell anyone. Not a peep.”
You lock your own with his. “Promise.” You both giggle at the gesture as your fingers pull away. “I know this is gonna sound like a really stupid, cheesy question, but do you mean it?”
The way you start off catches his attention. “Do I mean what?”
“When you said I was pretty.”
He’s stunned, stuck in place as he stares at you while forgetting to answer. “I know we’re still young, but I’ve had my heart toyed with before. And all he did was laugh.” You scooted closer to him. “So what I’m asking is, ‘seob, do you really think I’m pretty? Or are you just being nice?”
“What answer are you hoping to hear?”
“That you do. That you mean everything you’ve ever said to me.”
He’s frozen, all he can do is stare into your eyes as you await a response. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, I do mean it. You, Y/N, are one very pretty girl.”
“How many pretty girls do you see while out for work?”
“Many. None of them are as pretty as you.”
her first crush.
You know you’re the one that instigated this conversation, but still, you can’t help but blush at his response. “You’re all red.” He points out. “Do my words really mean that much to you?”
“All I wanted was closure.”
The door opens, Jongseob patting your head and joining the rest of the guys as if he didn’t just have you melting a few seconds ago.
You sat in the corner of the practice room, your face still hot, and your eyes focused on Jongseob the entire time.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
i want you to come visit but my mom isnt letting any visitors in the house
how come?
apparently we’re having a dinner party here in a few days or something? idk shes trying to keep it clean beforehand cuz my dad is finally coming back from his trip
he’s been overseas for how long??
a few months now, some promotion that he got resulted in him staying longer
oh wow
well you could come over to my dorm
actually?
i gotta ask the guys first
oh if u have to ask then its okay maybe next time
they said yes
i hear them cleaning up
what
are you coming or not
omw
You knock on their door, and when no one responds, you call Jongseob, and it suddenly opens to reveal sight of him holding the phone up to his ear.
“You have… a lot of stuff.” He points out, eyeing the large bag you’re carrying. “Are you sleeping over or something?”
“I actually… if it’s okay with you… wanted to do your makeup. I know you’ve been saying how much you want to try it and stuff and I figured we could do it if I saw you today but I forgot to ask–“
“Absolutely. Yes, please, come in, no one’s in my room. ‘Cause… I share a room, and, Jiung’s out and the rest are watching a movie.”
“I get it. I get your whole rooming thing. Am I gonna be in trouble for being here?”
“Not if you don’t get caught.”
“How mischievous of you. If you were to ever get into a scandal with me, would you care?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t mind that at all.”
You laugh it off as if your face wasn’t on fire, closing the door to his shared room.
“Ew, are they gonna make out in there?” Intak says in disgust with fake repulsion. “Just because Jongseob can get a girlfriend and you can’t is not a valid reason to be petty.” Keeho holds back his laugh. “Theo– you can’t say that! That is not funny!”
“Then why are you laughing?”
“…watch the movie.”
Meanwhile, in Jongseob’s room, you finish off his base, tapping brushes against palettes before gently stroking the pigments against his face. His eyes, specifically. The medium shade brought out the orange in his hair, but really, you’ve been wanting to try out a specific look for a while.
“Keep your eyes closed.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why?”
“Makes me feel old.”
“You’re older than me.”
“I’m the same age as you. Now hush.”
He blows a raspberry as you do his eyeliner, a miracle it didn’t smudge or that you didn’t mess up in any way. It was almost adorable how eagerly he nodded when you showed him your container of extra rhinestones.
You hand him a mirror, putting your extra equipment away before finding a tube of lipstick. “Wow.” is all he says until he puts the mirror down and sees you putting on said lipstick. “Oh, you were actually gonna… do that part?”
“Oh, no. I was just swatching. It’s a pretty shade, don’t you think?” Your lips are painted with a vibrant shade of red, bold and eye-catching as you turned to face your friend who’s struggling to keep his jaw from hanging. “Yeah. Really… bright.”
“Well, you know my style. Bold and bright. I decided to… take a break for a change. And I took it out on you.”
“You call this a break? I look fabulous.”
“It’s the rhinestone effect. But yes, this is a break since I only do my face most of the time. And the colours are neutral, but defined. Makeup therapy for me is a total stress reliever, but obviously my face can’t handle powders daily. And… I really needed this, especially after this week.”
“Exams?”
“I took them already.”
“This early?”
“I’m taking AP classes since I don’t do cram school. My school is aware, and honestly, surprised at my career choice. Peer pressure is getting to me more than it should.”
“I hope you don’t feel guilty about this in any way. You’re so talented.”
“My only talent is this. Maybe I’ll work behind the scenes in the entertainment industry all my life. And… there’s something else I need to tell you.”
“What is it?”
You exhale. “I got the job.”
“The job?”
“I’m your travelling makeup artist. I’ll be going with you for future tours and everything.”
He can’t stop his jaw from dropping now. “No way. You’re serious?” He asks, watching you nod eagerly as a big smile grows on his face, going in for a hug which you tightly return. “Y/N– that’s amazing! Does this mean I’ll get to see you every day?”
You nod. “It’s why I’m taking AP. Maybe I’ll switch next year, but I’m exempt from classes because of my success.”
“Wow, so privileged.”
“I’m just good at my job.”
You hear him chuckle, his eyes focused on you and that damn red lip. “I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you.” You stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry, it’s just hard to take you seriously with the makeup.”
“You’re the one that did it!”
“You’re never in my style, and it’s over the top!”
The door opens and you immediately pull away from Jongseob, taking out cleansing products after sorting everything else in your bag. Theo stands there, still, staring at your friend all glammed up.
“How do I look?” Jongseob asks with dramatic poses to show off his makeup, Theo taking out his phone and taking pictures of him silently. “You did this?” He asks you, pointing at the boy that had your heart racing. “Did I do good?”
“He looks great. You should come out and show the guys.”
“I don’t wanna watch the movie out there though.”
“You can go back in here and continue making out with Y/N or whatever it is that you were doing in here in the first place.”
“I was not– hey!” Theo’s dragging Jongseob out of the room by his wrist, unable to keep his grip on the doorframe as you hear him groan. You can all hear the guys gushing over Jongseob’s face from the room, poking jokes at him and teasing him.
“Is that lipstick? Did she kiss you?!”
“No, no, nothing like that! She was swatching and it must’ve smudged on me…”
“I thought you two were kissing when I walked in.”
“We hugged.”
“Sure.” One of them snarkily replies.
“I’m gonna tell you who dies if you don’t stop talking.” You hear Jongseob threaten, referring to the movie that was currently on pause in the living room.
“No!”
He silently comes back to the room, seeing you sitting there, cleansers still out as he shuts the door. “Is there really lipstick on me?” He asks, turning his head so you could see all angles of his face. “Oh, right there. How did I not notice that?” You get up with a makeup wipe, swiping it gently against the mark until is goes away.
It was only until you moved away that you noticed how close you were, and that he notice something missing. “You wiped off your lipstick already?”
“I told you I was swatching. I took photos.” ‘And I could see the way you looked at me.’ You thought. “I’d like to post them, but you’re an idol and all, so…”
“A shame, really. Do you wanna eat? Jiung got some takeout, and I don’t wanna take off your hard work for a little while.”
“Sure, but don’t expect me to take you seriously while you’re all glammed up.”
“You did this to me!”
“We are not having this conversation again.”
his first love, where he can’t imagine being with anybody else but you.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Jongseob’s met a lot of pretty girls. As an idol, it’s only natural he has to work with them, be in the same premise as them. Yet he can never see anything more to them because they aren’t like you.
Your snarky replies, your teasing, your genuine questions and need for reassurance, your automatic response to rely on him, contact him whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe it was because he’s spent so much time with you that he built this connection, but he learned that no one else could replicate this feeling he was so comfortable with.
This feeling that he only felt with you.
His members teased him mercilessly, especially on your first day on the job. You were assigned to him and specifically him (according to a colleague, he requested you), and every time anyone of his fellow group saw you working so close with him, they’d start laughing.
Jiung and Intak would take Jongseob’s phone from him if they were to ever find him on call with you. Keeho would give him those looks whenever he saw him smiling at his screen, and on his screen was you. Theo and Soul… they left him alone for the most part. They’d say hello and you guys would chat, but of course, Theo with his natural older brother energy, would occasionally tease him about it, usually through complaints.
“Jongseob, can you stop talking to your girlfriend and go to sleep? We have practice tomorrow.”
“Geez, you wanted her to swatch on you, didn’t you?”
“Watch where you’re going with that! I know you’re practically in love with her, but you should still pay attention to your surroundings!”
Soul simply encouraged the idea of you two together.
“She really likes you, I can tell.”
“Will you be out of the dorm more often when you two start dating?”
“You got her a ring? When is the wedding?”
And all Jongseob really wanted was to figure out if you really did like him or not. Because he felt like he could never experience such euphoria with anyone other than you.
He was only 18, why did he seem so sure about this? His mind was certainly older.
The door to the studio opens, and you enter, dropping your school bag onto the floor and looking absolutely spent.
“Are you okay?” He asks as you walk over, head in his chest. “Not even a hello?” You joke, looking up at him. “Tired. Long day. School’s a real pain in the ass when you have things to do outside of it. You’re lucky you’re busy enough that you don’t have to go.”
“Sometimes I wish I could. I’d enroll at your school and take all the classes with you so I’m not alone. Speaking of school, what happened to those girls who chased you?”
“Oh, them?” You laugh. “We’re cool now. One of them apologized to me. The rest followed. It took one longer than the rest to muster up the courage. They thought I hated them which is why they couldn’t talk about it in the first place, which is understandable.”
“Did you forgive them?”
“Not right away. I accepted their apology, but I’ll talk to tomorrow. It’s a little bit scary leaving work in fear of being chased and they kinda ignited that in me. I could never hate them, though. Maybe that’s a lie, but I guess when I thought I hated them, I was just afraid.”
“You’re so insightful it’s honestly attractive.” You look at him, amused. “Are you flirting with me, Jongseob?”
“Oh, I’m just being honest.”
“Sure. Your birthday just passed and your ego is suddenly through the roof.”
“Well, I am Kim Jongseob, so maybe my ego should’ve been through the roof a while ago.”
“Now you’re just sounding arrogant.”
“I’m just better.” You roll your eyes, looking at the computer in the corner of the room on the counter. “Can I change the music?” You ask, watching him walk over and open the right tab for you. You change the keyboard language to English, searching up a name so fast he doesn’t comprehend that the music already started. You walk away as he stays and reads the name off the screen.
Clementine – grentperez
He looks at you, who happened to already be waiting for him in the center of the room. He walks over, spinning you around and catching you, visibly surprised when the singing begins. “It’s in English?”
“Mhm.”
“Can you understand it?”
“A little bit. Otherwise, I like how it sounds. Can you understand it?”
“I’ve been getting better… at least I try to. It sounds good.”
“I should send you more of his works. I think you’d like those too.” You feel his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close enough into a hug. “Is this okay?” He feels you nod against his chest, your arms wrapping up and around his neck as the two of you simply sway to the music that filled the room.
To be in Jongseob’s arms, your best friend’s arms, like this was something you didn’t know you wanted to experience for as long as you could. This felt intimate, feeling closer with him like this more than any other hug you’ve shared.
You two probably looked like idiots to anyone that would walk in, but it was just the two of you, and all you could think about was how comfortable it was in each other’s arms.
There’s a spark. A spark that turns into a growing flame when your eyes meet. A flame that you wanted to keep ablaze but was on the edge of extinguishing. “You… you look really pretty.” He suddenly stutters, the flame growing a little bit more. “Thank you.”
“I really want to kiss you. Really, really bad.”
His abruptness catches you off guard, and it’s almost funny how the song began to near its climax.
“I’m sorry, was that too forward? Forget I said–“
“No one’s stopping you.”
It’s so cliche how the song reached its peak when his lips are on yours. You both were young, yet your minds were older. To kiss someone at such a moment for the first time in your life only made you fall in love with him even more, and really, you never thought you’d experience it so soon. With an idol, no less.
“Kim Jongseob!”
The sound of his name makes both of you pull away and look at the door, Intak, Jiung, and Theo standing there like they’ve seen a ghost. “What the hell are you doing?!” Intak exclaims, probably more aggressive than he meant to.
You both stand there, dumbfounded, and it wasn’t until you were back in your head that you both decide to separate from each other instantly. They looked angry. They probably didn’t feel that way, but in the moment, you felt humiliated. One second later, your face is hidden in his chest again, feeling his other hand on your back.
“I’m sorry.” You mutter against him, his hand patting your back reassuringly. “No, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”
“Don’t you feel the slightest bit embarrassed? Your friends just walked in on us kissing.”
“Oh, I do, absolutely. They’ll never let me hear the end of it.” You look up at him, and he’s smiling. “Then why don’t you seem that way?”
“Because I was kissing you.” Your heart beats faster than it ever has before when you’re with him. “You’re the only girl they’d want to see me kiss in the first place. Lucky for you, you’re the only girl I’ll ever wanna kiss in my whole life.”
“Since when did you get so romantic?”
“Since the day I met you in this very studio.”
Your worries suddenly melt away at his words, further assured he feels the same way you do.
“I really don’t mean to interrupt this very sentimental moment, but we have practice, so can you guys hurry it up a little bit?” Intak speaks up, appearing behind Jongseob out of nowhere. You pull away, going to get your things in the corner of the room, realizing he was following you. “You’re not gonna stay?” He asks, holding onto your hand.
“I have schoolwork to do, ‘Seob. And I need to talk to my coworkers at my part-time.” He pouts. “I know there’s so much more we need to talk about, but I’m eating into your practice time right now. I’ll call you, okay? We see each other tomorrow. Promise.” You squeeze his hand, feeling his other hand on top of yours.
“I thought you already quit that job.”
“They’re still my friends. I check in with them from time to time.” He sighs. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go.
Once you’re out of sight of the doorway, you can’t help but giggle and jump around out of pure excitement. You catch sight of Keeho and Soul in the hallway, greeting them briefly. “What’s got you so excited?” Keeho asks.
“He kissed me.” You watch his expression change to match yours, jumping around with you in the middle of the hallway. “No way! Are you serious?”
“The rest of them walked in on us…”
“I’ve literally been waiting for months for him to make a move and the one time I decide to leave later– ugh, I’m so happy for both of you!”
“And then he…” You point to your forehead. “He…” Keeho puckers his lips while you nod, the both of you proceeding to squeal almost too loud in the hallway. “Girl, please, you two are literally so freaking cute, you need to tell me more!”
“I really need to leave, I’m sorry!”
“It’s okay, we’ll see you tomorrow!”
You’re on your way to the convenience store, relieved to see both Mun-Hee and Shin-Il behind the counter, both of them equally shocked to see you there. “Y/N! I thought you were working.” Shin-Il says.
“I need to tell you guys something. Can I still come back here?”
“No. But you used to work here, so whatever.” An indirect invitation to come behind the counter given by Mun-Hee. “Judging from the look on your face, you either made progress with Jongseob or made out with Jongseob.” She adds.
“I kissed him, thank you very much.”
“Oh, shit.” She curses. “And he did it first?” You nod. “Damn, girl! He’s really down bad for you!”
“Is he your boyfriend now? He should be.” Shin-Il asks. “We didn’t have time to talk about it… he’s in a dance practice right now and I promised I’d call him.”
“Honey, no. This is the kind of thing you talk about in person. If he’s really dedicated and really loves you, he’d tell you. But with the amount of times you’ve breached health protocols with something to say about him, I think he really does love you in that way. But still, call him later. You promised.”
“You give all this advice as if you’ve ever been in an actual relationship.” Shin-Il jokes, resulting in a death glare from the most helpful former coworker in the moment. “Listen to her, not me.”
“Obviously.”
The welcoming bell chimes as someone enters, coming to the counter as quick as they came in. Mun-Hee looks in awe at the person as he stops at the counter, face lighting up. “We still on for tonight?” He hands her two 5000 won bills.
“Mhm.” She says in the most obvious lovesick tone, sliding the man’s items back towards him as she gives him his change. “I’ll see you later, Mun.”
You hold back a laugh at the nickname, glancing between her and the man as he leaves the store.“Who even is that guy?”
“They’ve been hooking up but then they actually started liking each other for more than the sex. Total K-drama material.”
“She did not need to know that!”
“If she can tell us about her love life, I can tell her about yours.”
“This is something entirely different! And what about you? Does she know that your little girlfriend calls you Shinnie now?”
You can’t hold back your laughter. “Pfft– Shinnie!? You guys are so corny!”
“Don’t you call your boyfriend ‘Seob’?” Shin-Il retorts. “Okay, but that’s just his name shortened. At least she didn’t add or double anything to it.” Mun-Hee reasons, receiving an eye roll from her coworker.
“I can’t believe we’re all in relationships now.” She adds. “I can’t believe you’re in a relationship! You’re so grouchy all the time, it’s hard to believe anyone would love that. You too, Y/N! You’re only 18 and you already kissed someone.”
“You still haven’t kissed anyone at your old age?!” You exclaim.
Mun-Hee sighs. “Can you tell it’s been rough without you here?”
“Definitely.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“So does my dad approve?”
You ask as Jongseob enters your bedroom, shutting the door gently before sitting across from you on your bed. “Of course he approved, I’m Kim Jongseob.”
Your dad had to go on another trip, which was prolonged, right after his first one due to a promotion offer that was promised if he continued to work efficiently overseas for a little longer. He got the promotion. He didn’t come back until mid-2021, and you didn’t tell him about your little relationship until today.
“I bet he’s pissed at me. I swore I meant to tell him, I just forgot.”
“He isn’t. He’s just… very surprised.”
“Understandable. I may or may not have rambled to him about you.”
“Did you say anything embarrassing?”
“No.”
“Then what did you say?”
“He asked me what I loved about you. It’s a long list.”
“We have time.”
He chuckles. “Okay, well, I said I love that you’re such a hard worker, and how devoted you are to anything that you do, how you never settle for less. How there’s a sparkle in your eye only I’m able to see when you get excited. How beautiful you are when you’re at your happiest, when you’re doing something that brings you comfort. Should I keep going?”
You’re too flustered to answer his question. “What did he say?”
“‘When’s the wedding?’”
You hit him playfully, hiding your face in the side of his arm, embarrassed that your face was so warm from something so simple. “You really noticed all of those little things?”
“Of course I did, you’re my girlfriend.”
You wanted to kiss him so bad in that moment, being interrupted by your mom barging in the room. She simply stares at both of you. “You’re nearly 19, I expect you to know what we don’t wanna hear in this house.” She closes the door, Jongseob getting up to lock it this time.
“My mom’s gonna get so suspicious next time she tries to open the door.”
“Valid. But we know our boundaries, don’t we?”
You fulfill what you imagined in your head, kissing him briefly and pulling away when you feel his hand tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“Wanna know something?” He mutters.
“What?”
“I don’t think I could ever love someone else the same way I love you.”
“Is that so?”
“Honey, I admire you. You’re amazing.”
“Speak for yourself, mister. So talented and famous for it. I think we’ve been keeping these words bottled up for years when we were just friends.”
“Mhm. There’s so much more I wanna say.”
“We have time.”
“It’ll take all week.”
“I have all the time in the world when I’m with you.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🐺: guys where is jongseob
🐶: is he not at y/n’s house??
🐺: we have a shoot tomorrow why is he at y/n’s house
🐿️: the shoot is next week are u dumb
🐺: damn bro mb
☀️: they’re gonna get married someday i just know it
🍟: he wanted her ring size (о´∀`о)
🐺: why is he there anyway??
☀️: he went to meet her dad
🐿️: OKAY JONGSEOB I SEE U MEETING THE FAMILY
🐯: are you guys talking bad about me
🐶: nah we’re just thinking about what kind of ring ur gonna get her
🐯: im still 18 calm down 💀 y/n’s dad said the same thing
☀️: even mr. l/n agrees
🍟: how is y/n?
🐯: she’s good, i actually might stay over tonight
🐺: WHAT
🐶: on a weekday is crazy
☀️: why arent u coming home?
🐯: she fell asleep on me i dont wanna wake her up
🐿️: do you have clothes?
🐯: 👍
🐶: bro is prepared he predicted this
🍟: say hi to her for me!!!!
🐯: alr goodnight guys im lowkey tired
🐺: jongseob sleeping early? thats new
🐯: i hope you have nightmares
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and if you’re fadin’, then honey i’ll be fadin’ too. darling, i don’t even know who i am without you. 🎧
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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general masterlist.
the fics that exist on their own.
find my misc. fics here!
all works listed are pure fiction. please do not repost, translate, etc. my work on any other platforms. all stories are afab reader.
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smoker – j.d. (jason dean) x reader | wc: 2.6k | The new kid on the block pulls a stunt in the cafeteria and makes a name for himself. You never thought he’d have you screaming that name later that day.
the thought of you saved me – finney blake x reader | wc: 2.4k | You lost a friend to The Grabber. He lost one too. When you lose the last crush friend you have, you’ll do anything to get him back, and he’ll do anything to get back to you.
electra heart – ben hargreeves x reader | wc: 3.9k | A kid at the convenience store becomes a friend. That kid soon has you head over heels. You never got the chance to tell him how you felt; even years go by and you still think about him. Yet you wonder if he’ll ever wake up.
play the game, get the girl – koushi sugawara x reader | wc: 7.4k | He sees you during a practice when you walk in with the team manager, late. What he doesn’t expect is to see you standing at the corner of a volleyball court for his games with a red flag in hand, and fall head over heels.
kiss witness – tetsuya kuroko x reader | wc: 7.3k | Your last year of junior high may have not been the best time to start going out with Tetsu. Puppy love was fragile with the transition into high school meaning potentially going separate ways, but the sport that brought you together in the past brings you closer after finding out your boyfriend is going to the same school as you.
to reunite and resolve – connor murphy x reader | wc: 4.5k | You were one of the only people he called a friend. He wanted to call you more than that.
publicly romantic – lee felix x reader | wc: 3.0k | He fell first, and he fell hard. When you were on the big screen behind him, he knew he fell for you even more.
unspoken – ryōhei arisu x reader | wc: 8.4k | You couldn’t leave the poor man laying on the street. He couldn’t help falling for the girl who was always by his side.
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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hi! welcome to the rings!
➼ minor. any pronouns. does not have a niche and writes whatever. inconsistent updates when motivated.
➼ this is my playground, so i write what i want whenever i want to. if you don’t like it, don’t read it!
➼ this blog is always under construction with lots of room to improve. i’m always trying new things and i’m doing my best to design this page well so bear with me :P
➼ i’m open to new ideas, prompts, and requests! please note that i may not be able to fulfill some requests with specific people but i will snag ideas and try to write them out as best as i can!
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navigation!
➽ general masterlist
➽ perfume collection | txt
➽ the conversations i’ve had with the moon | p1harmony
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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PERFUME COLLECTION.
nct dojaejung’s first ep in the form of five txt fics.
why did i decide to quote dojaejung rather than use txt’s own music? why the hell not.
all works listed are pure fiction. please do not repost, translate, etc. my work on any other platforms. all stories are afab reader.
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CHOI SOOBIN
pre-release benefits
A collaboration announced with a dear friend of yours seems to go down the one path you didn’t expect. You weren’t complaining.
word count: 8.2k
C: LOTS of tension, soobin duality, fluff, y/n in denial, kinda dirty makeout scene, rushed, soobin a lil ooc?
🎶 now playing: kiss
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CHOI YEONJUN
currently out of stock!
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CHOI BEOMGYU
currently out of stock!
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KANG TAEHYUN
currently out of stock!
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HUENINGKAI
duo of dreams
You were seductive. He was an angel. Two polar opposite concepts come together in ways no one would expect.
word count: 9.7k
C: fluff, comfort, inaccuracy, self indulgence, girlboss reader, downbad hyuka, brainrot, drabbling, kinda long, not proofread
🎶 now playing: ordinary
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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pre-release benefits
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🎶 now playing: kiss - nct dojaejung
P: Choi Soobin x Fem!Idol!Reader
S: A collaboration announced with a dear friend of yours seems to go down the one path you didn’t expect. You weren’t complaining.
C: LOTS of tension, soobin duality, fluff, y/n in denial, kinda dirty makeout scene, rushed, soobin a lil ooc?
N: i wanted to start writing something new so bad but im running out of plot ideas send help UNTIL i remembered i had a soobin thing in my drafts that absolutely sucked ass so i deleted it and this is… im hoping this one is better and i dont delete it this time <3
view the full perfume collection.
please interact if you enjoy!
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Everyone knew you and Soobin were best friends. The closest. You shared everything with each other. Someone told you a secret that you weren’t supposed to tell anyone? You immediately go tell Soobin. He gets very much classified information regarding the release of their new album? He goes and tells you.
See, you two were good at keeping each other’s secrets. You were 90% sure Soobin has blackmail on almost every single popular group in the industry at this point.
What led you two to be this close in the first place? Well, you were a producer and a music artist yourself under Big Hit. You helped produce some of their music, recorded them in the studio, and assisted in releasing some of their greatest hits.
Soobin took a liking to you, and your nice but strong constructive criticism. You let them have their freedom but in a way that the song would sound exactly how you wanted it to come out. The more he ran into you, the more you talked. The more you talked, the closer you became. The closer you became, the more you began to see each other as friends.
And that’s how it all started. Soobin saw himself lucky since he didn’t share a room with anyone, meaning no one had to hear him laugh or giggle under his covers whenever you texted him something humorous. Unless his groupmates hear him through the walls, they haven’t given him any noise complaints.
You didn’t perform on music shows often, so being seen on the big screen by fans sometimes came as a surprise. You were more laid back than elaborate, but still enticing and entertaining, which is why people loved you so much. You were the perfect balance of talent and performer, enthusiasm and technique.
Since you were always in the studio, assisting with editing and recording after your own promotions and such, you didn’t really have the time to attend shows even if you ended up winning. But your workload begun to slowdown since it was promotion season, meaning you had time to work on projects of your own and your own wellbeing.
You met up with your manager in their office regarding your next comeback. “Bang wants you to do a collaborative album. All the songs have features.”
“With more than one artist?”
“Just one. He’s suggesting Soobin, since he, quote: ‘notices their chemistry in the studio and how well their voices blend together’. He’s endorsing it since he knows your close friendship with each other as well.”
“Isn’t Soobin still on tour? He’s gonna be tired once he gets back.”
“After or during his days off, he’ll work with you.”
“I don’t wanna overwork him…”
“The boy will do anything for you, Y/N. But yeah, check up on him every once in a while.”
You ponder for a moment, silently agreeing. “Does he know?”
“I emailed his manager, so I’m assuming so. Could’ve been with anyone else under HYBE, but we listen to the man.” The man being Producer Bang. He wasn’t entirely wrong. You two worked extremely well together, Soobin somehow being able to tolerate your nitpicking, and you figured that working with someone you were already familiar with would make the process more enjoyable.
Your phone buzzed, revealing a notification from Soobin himself.
my manager said we’re collaborating???
i mean… do u want to?
isn’t this an idea we’ve been having for a while
okay i thought you were joking when you said that
this is a legitimate thing? not a prank
no its not a prank
lets do it by the time i step foot in korea i will be sprinting to your studio
u need to REST my guy ur literally on tour and travelling 24/7
i am holding onto the opportunity for the rest of this trip u better not be contacting anyone else
wasn’t planning to 👍
You showed your manager the brief conversation, hearing the clicking of their keyboard right after. “I suggest you start brainstorming. They want it published by the beginning of next year.” You can see there’s something more behind their expression that they aren’t telling you, but you don’t pry. “Are they suggesting a concept?”
“You haven’t done a sexy concept yet.”
“A sexy concept. With Soobin.” Your managed nods. “Are you not seeing the setbacks here? You’re setting me up, aren’t you?”
“Do something you haven’t done before! Step out of your comfort zone; I’ve heard your demos, Y/N. Don’t tell me they don’t give you the urge to make out with someone.”
“You are so unprofessional.”
“As unprofessional as you.”
“I’m not fit for sexy, Jung-Hwa. Have you seen me?”
“I’m seeing you right now. I see the potential if you just put yourself out there. Isn’t that what everyone’s into these days?”
“Only if it’s executed well.”
“And you don’t settle for less, so get to work. Work off your demos; edit them, compose, do whatever you need to. I know there’s a fire inside consisting of your desires that just hasn’t been lit yet.”
“You’re a madman but you just gave me an idea.”
“Don’t say I didn’t help you!” They yell as you leave the room.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Soobin listened to the edited demos you sent him over and over again. It was like an entire album of Tinnitus back to back, and God, it was so good. No wonder why you forced yourself to sit in during the recording for that song.
Y/NNN
soobinnn
ITS SO GOOD
IM ASCENDING
I CANT WAIT TO COME BACK AND RECORD THIS WITH YOU
what was the concept for this???
sexy
…what
dont kill me my manager told me to
y/n…
are you trying to make moves on me with ur music
cuz honestly thats the hottest fucking thing ever
what the fuck
im working off old demos i had
should i add more
were you horny while making these
these sound like actual songs you’d have sex to
you are the most unprofessional person i have ever met in my life
i am speaking to you as a friend
assuming i like u thru my music does not sound very friend like 🤨
i didnt wanna do the sexy concept either okay i am not suitable for the role
y/n ur hot and u make music that is the sexiest thing that a person could ever do
im collabing with someone else
is it because u saw me shirtless while doing tinnitus
did that get u into a mood and you started writing these songs
ur actually obsessed with me its insane
soobin are you drunk?
what
i have taehyun’s live up rn i can hear you in the background
ur music got me acting up
oh my god ur horny for me thats crazyyy
only for you
woah
lets calm down a little here
dont want u saying things ur gonna regret
im completely sober
i can see u looking at ur phone in disgust rn
is that what ur doing
yes
how tf did u know
i always know
you’re so predictable its honestly adorable
okay maybe you should get some rest
ur enjoying this i bet
i am tired and do not have enough energy to keep up with this
goodnight stupid
goodnight cutie
never call me that again
cutie
choi soobin go to sleep or im gonna do this album with someone else
u wouldnt
ill ask yeonjun
goodnight y/n
Soobin had to admit, you were cute. Scratch that, you were fucking sexy in his eyes.
Your maturity, your art, your precision, God, he was obsessed with you. He always jokes about it when talking to you, but the fact he does it so often sometimes makes you think that he does actually have some sort of attraction to you.
You didn’t mean to insinuate some sort of move on him during your songwriting, but he was making it really damn hard in making it seem like you were. This tour was really getting to him. He might be going a little insane.
He did have a point, though. All of your songs were a little… erotic. The way he was texting you was not helping.
He was driving you crazy. Flirting with you while you had no knowledge if he meant what he said at all. And the only time you could ever check in with him or he could check in with you was after his concerts, meaning he was exhausted and ready to hit the sheets when you were ready to talk business plans.
You envied those at his concerts. You planned to go to the one in Korea, but tickets were sold out and you ended up being busy that day anyways. Soobin wanted to see you there too. He wondered if you’ve seen those pictures of him showing his abs off to the audience. Given you spend so much time on the internet, you probably have.
One day of rest was enough for him already. Every night he went back to his hotel room he was always reminded that he had to record with you by the time they stopped back in Korea for their temporary break after the first part of their tour. Maybe it was the relaxing environment, or his earbuds, or the freshly made bed, but something always kept him eager for your collaboration.
He texted you every single night, as he usually did, jokingly flirting and saying how much better it would’ve been if you were there, or how you should’ve been a guest performer out of nowhere. But he always gushed about how much he loved your music before anything else.
The minute he stepped foot into the airport, he immediately thought of you, and how you’d execute the album’s production perfectly, in a way that both of you would be proud of. He just couldn’t wait to see you in the studio again.
y/nnie
hello soobin
i’ll be in the studio tomorrow
already? i just finished making the instrumentals LOL
ive been looking forward to this ever since i came back
you know how much i love doing these things with you
you made that sound way more dirty than it should’ve been
maybe you’re just dirty minded
do you want to record or not
i’ll be there at 10 sharp ma’am
He wasn’t lying. When you saw him seated outside the recording booth with an ice americano, you merely stood there and stared at him until he noticed. When he finally did, his eyes lit up and he nearly dropped his drink, jumping up from his seat to hug you.
“How was your tour?”
“It was really fun! Wish you’d been there for at least one of the dates. How did you manage to miss both of them?”
“Shut up, I’m busy.”
“Busy making demos for songs to have sex to?”
“You are so unprofessional. How do people love you so much?”
“Because I’m charming and very handsome.”
You scoff. “Yeah. Charming, for sure.”
“You’ll fall for my charms eventually, Y/N.”
“Just get in the booth.” You part ways as he obliges, meeting him separated by glass in the control room. “I’ve coloured your parts green and mine blue.”
“Why couldn’t I be blue?”
“Why does it matter to you? Should I play you the demo or have you listened to it 500 times already that I don’t need to?” Sarcasm drips off your tongue and pierces Soobin with your stare, waiting for his answer. “I got it, princess, don’t worry.”
You know he’s mocking you with that nickname. Then how come your heart fluttered at the sound of it?
God, you were lucky that you never called Yeonjun to replace him. You never wanted to in the first place. You knew he’d fit the concept having done it before, you just never thought he’d fit it that well. His voice blended so well and it fit the vibe you were going for. The hour long session passed by like minutes.
“Love it, love it, love it!” You cheer giddily with small claps. “I’ll go in now, switch with me.” You take your headphones off, leaving the control room. Soobin meets you outside the booth, his glance lasting longer than it should have.
Recording your parts took a few tries with the excuse of ‘messing up’ when you knew damn well you wouldn’t mess up your own song. You were too focused on Soobin’s voice that you forgot to come in at times; it was hypnotizing, siren like that it had you so distracted.
His stare was not helping.
“Again.” You groan.
“It sounded fine to me.”
“Everything sounds fine to you, Soobin.”
“I think you can trust my opinion. Play it back for her.” He tells the supervisor in the control room. That underlying nauseating feeling when you hear your own voice bites at you like a hawk, but it only lasts for a second as you tell yourself that listening to your voice is how you keep a roof over your head.
After the section finishes playing, you bite your finger, hating to agree that he was right. “So?” Soobin looks at you with an all-knowing stare, a sure smile on his face. “It’s good.” You mutter. “What was that, hon?”
“It’s good.” You sneer. “Now can we finish recording this? We’re almost done.” You hear Soobin chuckle in your hear but pay no mind to it, though you could feel your face heating up by the second.
You go back to the control room and listen over it, satisfied with the results and saving your work to come back to later.
“Y/N.”
“Hm?”
“Come eat with me.”
You tilt your head. “What’s with the sudden offer? Are you making moves on me?”
“Thought you might be hungry. You’ve been surviving on an iced caramel macchiato and a single triangle gimbap this entire day and I know you’re notorious for overworking yourself without any fuel.” Is this his way of saying he cares about you? “Aw, so you do care about me and aren’t just a horny fuck.”
“Compassion before the passion.”
“That was the worse attempt at poetry I’ve ever heard in my life, and I’ve heard a lot of things.”
Of course, the joke about him being horny wasn’t entirely true. He just seemed to be all over you and flirty so often that led you to make such an accusation against him. You’d get weird stares when you called him that in public or around other people, but it was a revolving inside joke between you two that both of you took pride in.
“I’ll go. Because yes, I’m starving, and two, I did not work hours on these demos just for me to fuck up what’s gonna be released to the public.”
“So it’s a date?”
“I’d rather get a black ocean than go on a date with you.” He stares at you, waiting for an answer as your stomach rumbles. “Okay, fine, call it whatever you want because I’m so fucking hungry right now so wherever you’re taking me better be good.” He smiles and continues walking.
“Y/N’s first date.”
“I’m calling Yeonjun.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
For the next few days of recording sessions, all goes well as it usually does, and Soobin takes you out on the occasional hang out right afterwards. You called them hang outs, he called them dates. Going out with no supervisors was obviously a big risk thing, but you weren’t kids. You knew how to handle yourselves and how to get out of certain situations.
“Are you sure you can really spend on me every single day? Seems like a lot.”
“We’re famous, honey, I think money’s the least of our concerns.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“I know you like it.”
You roll your eyes, Soobin putting on his mask as fast as he took it off. You follow him, walking up to the counter nervously as he takes both your orders, and after bickering, putting it under your card instead.
“So what was going through your mind making those demos?” He suddenly asks as you two wait side by side for your order. “What do you mean?”
“Sexy thoughts make sexy songs.”
“I can’t believe you just said that out loud. Everyone is looking at us right now.”
“I’m still waiting for my answer.”
“They were old, okay? I think I started working on them after your second album but never finished.”
“But what were you thinking of?”
You hesitate, biting down on your lip and avoiding eye contact with him. You can feel him staring at you, and you knew he wouldn’t break easy. You take a deep breath, ready for what’s to come. “I was thinking of–“
“Order for Soobin!” The barista calls, setting down a fruit tea and a coffee down on the counter. Everyone’s eyes were on him this time, and eventually you, taking the cup from his hand. “Why didn’t you use an alias?”
“I forgot.”
“You’ve been ordering for me the entire week and your excuse is that ‘you forgot’? You used an alias name the last time and somehow you just magically–“
“Is it actually Soobin?”
“Soobin! Can we get a photo?”
“Soobin, I love you!”
“I wish you’d say that to me.” He suddenly whispers into your ear, smacking away his face. There’s a bunch of people crowded around both of you, the feeling of claustrophobia kicking in as Soobin continues to smile through his mask.
“Is that Y/N?” You’re surprised at the mention of your own name, not thinking you’d be recognized like usual. “Y/N! I love your music– could I get a photo with you?” The one girl moves from Soobin’s crowd to in front of you, with a genuine, pleading smile on her face.
This was the only time you’d agree. “Sure.” You nod. She takes out her phone, taking a quick selfie with you. For some reason, you seem to admire her respect for your personal space, though she doesn’t see it fully, she can see and feel your sincerity with your eyes squinted as you smile. “Thank you so much! I’m looking forward to your future work!”
Your heart melts as she walks away, the sudden reminder that you’re with Soobin coming back to you, seeing as he’s crowded by all those girls and more people lining up out the door. “Soobin, are you on a date?” Rhetorical questions begin to come from the fans as some of them laugh along. “I’m treating my friend. She’s been working hard, and she deserves it.”
“Can we go?” You mutter, tapping his arm. He looks down at you for a moment before looking back at the crowd. “If you could excuse us, we should get going now.” He announces, the people making way for both of you to leave freely.
Soobin’s hand rests on your back the whole way, guiding you out and simply acknowledging the respectful goodbyes of the patrons, none of them following you out and simply letting you go.
There were more people outside, leaving the side walk empty as you both walked by, Soobin sending them waves. He still kept his hand on your back the entire time.
There were more people outside, leaving the sidewalk empty as you both walked by, Soobin sending them waves. He still kept his hand on your back the entire time.
He never takes it off.
“Are you okay?” He asks.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You looked a little overwhelmed.”
“How could you tell?”
“You were tense. Was it the crowd or was it my hand?”
“Both. Don’t you think this could get us into a scandal?”
“Media already knows we’re nothing more but close friends.”
“Well, the media likes to assume, too. They’ve been on our backs about it.”
“If we did get into a scandal, you wouldn’t mind it, would you?”
“A little bit.”
“Why?”
“We’re best friends, Soobin! Doesn’t it make you at least a little uncomfortable having people assume something they have no business being in?”
“It does. But you have to get used to it.”
“How did you do that?”
He pauses. “I didn’t. And I’ve never been in a situation where people do so yet. Until now. But those rumours have been existing for a while already. If anything, I’ll take the blame.”
“But your group. You’d jeopardize a lot! I should take the blame, less people know who I am.”
“That girl in there knew who you were. Besides, I’m the one that’s been asking you all week.”
“Soobin…”
“Y/N, I’d risk so much for you. We never talk all sappy like this since you always like to shut me down, but being your friend has helped me strengthen my values, even if all I do is go crazy about you.” He seems genuine, words true to his heart as you both stop outside your dorm. “I know you’re the type to worry about this stuff. Honestly, this’ll brush over before you know it. And if it doesn’t, just leave it to me.”
You’re suddenly wrapping your arms around him, taking a deep breath as you feel him hug you back. “Thank you. And I’m sorry if… I’ve been so pessimistic.”
“Honey, you were just being realistic. I completely understand that.”
You don’t know what else to say, simply resorting to a smile. “Goodnight, Soobin. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
You shut the door, dumping out the ice in your drink into the sink and throwing away the cup.
When you go to sleep that night, you think of a few things. That girl who took a photo with you. Her consideration and awareness. And the feeling of Soobin’s hand on your back.
You wished it was still there.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You felt like reeling.
You were already in a spiral, contemplating if those pitter-patters in your heart was because you were having medical problems or if you truly had a thing for your friend. Guess which one you’d rather figure out.
He was handsome. You always knew he was handsome. No matter what colour they decided to dye his hair, or however they styled it, it always looked good, and you hated it.
You hated how your excuse for being so cold to him was because ‘his beauty was bothering you’. It was foolish, stupid— if he ever found out, he would never let you live it down. You could hear his teasing remarks already.
It didn’t help that his eyes were so focused on you during the recording of your solo song. You say him out of the corner of your eye, staring at you intensely with his head resting on his hand. And he smirked when your eyes met. He fucking smirked.
You almost messed up your best take because of it.
Since when have you been so distracted by him? You figured it was just best to sing with your eyes closed the entire time rather than risking getting even a glimpse of him. Even if you kept your eyes on the lyric sheet, you could always feel his eyes on you.
Yet you refused to accept the fact you were at least a little bit attracted to him.
“Good job, Y/N.” He’d say, and the heat would rush straight to your cheeks.
Your hands rest on your waist, contemplating the section you just finished recording. “What do you think?” You finally look straight at Soobin, who seems to be thinking as hard as you were. “Redo it. It doesn’t… sound as sad as it did in the demo.”
“Shit, what should I do? I don’t get so emotional very often and when I do I get too sad to function.”
“Imagine I just rejected you.” You look at him, rolling your eyes, the supervisor in there obviously very confused at the unexplained statement. The inside joke was prominent, and though you knew he was joking around, it worked.
You thought of what would happen if he ever denied your advances like you did to his. Ironic, but heartbreaking. You swore you actually felt it wrench in you.
When you look at him again, his face is molded into a pleasantly surprised, ‘I knew it would work’ expression. Listening back on it, you were proud of the final result and finished recording for the day. You partially gave credit to Soobin’s outrageous suggestion.
“It worked, didn’t it?” He meets up with you outside the studio. “Maybe I’m just such a great actor.” You jokingly reply, lighting nudging his arm with your shoulder. “If you could hear it from the control room, honey, you’d be impressed. That was true heartbreak.”
“And we’re doing your song tomorrow.”
“I’ll be thinking of you when I record it.”
He’s saying that because he knows how it sounds, the composition and the overall vibe that comes from it. He knows damn well that it’s nothing short of sexy, and it’s the one that he’s been ranting to you so much about how much he loves it and how it’s his favourite. It also happens to be the last song you’d be recording before editing and sending off.
“I don’t know whether to feel flattered or objectified.”
“Sweetie, Choi Soobin just said he’s gonna think of you when recording one of the most suave songs in his entire life. You know him well enough to know he isn’t a pervert.”
“You really aren’t…” You have to admit it to yourself. Despite his snarky, flirtatious responses, he’s never called you anything beyond hot, cute, or… sexy. He’s the only person that can joke around with you like that. If anyone else did it, you wouldn’t speak to anyone for the next few days.
Anyone but him.
Soobin was always there for you during your lows. Whether you have been objectified while at work or on set, you come home with a nauseating feeling in your stomach and an urge to tell him all about it, because you know that he would understand. He’d offer you support, he’d check up on you in between his breaks, sometimes he’d even put in the effort to visit and bring you something or even just give you a hug.
He was a knack for being a sweetheart during times like that.
Yet he still continues to make your heart flutter with those names. You know it and damn well he knows that you secretly don’t mind being called those things at all. What you’ve noticed is that you’re the only one that he calls those things. Maybe it’s because you’re close, and you’re probably one of his only female friends that he is close with, but something is telling you there’s more than the eye can see.
And you wanted to find out what that was.
“I think you should be flattered, nonetheless. You are all can think of when I listen to the song.” He responds. “Is it because I’m the one singing it?” You snarkily reply, thinking nothing of it. “I know what was going through your mind writing that, Y/N. You probably imagined making out with someone and just put that into a tune.”
You say nothing.
“Really?! Is that what you’ve been thinking of!?”
“Don’t judge me, I write what I feel! And sometimes I feel… very interesting things.”
“So dirty. But I don’t blame you. You should’ve heard the demo for Tinnitus.”
“I did hear the demo for Tinnitus and honestly I am so pissed off you guys made the lyrics so depressing. That’s literally the horniest song and you chose to write about being a rock.”
“Hey, maybe when we’re done with this album, I can record it with you.”
“And publish it?”
“If the man agrees. I’d need a little help with the english, but I know you’re good at it.”
“I’m good at everything, honey.” You say, mocking him. “I think I’m gonna have a heart attack from that alone.” He says, his hand resting on his chest. “You know I’m just acting, right?”
“You called me it either way.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Soobin had been nagging to take you out for bingsu the whole week. You always pushed it for after recording every single song, and now was finally the time. You figured it was best and only fair to treat him this way.
He entered with a pep in his step, looking at the menu above while you stared at him the whole time, noticing how innocent and gleeful his eyes were. He really was looking forward to this all week. “Y/N, what do you want?” You glare at him for using your real name since it was also your stage name, but the man at the register didn’t seem to react anyway, so you relax.
“I like injeolmi… but you can choose what you want.” And he orders just that, losing the argument over who would pay for it. At first, when you sat yourselves at a table, you were confused. “I thought you liked pat?”
“So sweet of you to remember. But you’ve been working hard for the past few weeks, and since I’ve been nagging you about this, I figured it’s only fair we get what you want.”
“But–“
“Y/N, I’m okay with anything. Seriously. Except mint chocolate. And we’re sharing.”
“What.”
“You can finish a small but not a large… so I thought this was a good idea. Were you not paying attention?”
Truth is you spaced out while looking at him.
“I spaced out.” You half-lie, breaking eye contact. He gets up from his chair, walking past the table after saying he had to use the bathroom. A group of girls walk in, the bell above the door ringing to notify their presence. They all crowd at the counter, another employee coming from behind.
“Order for Y/N?” Your head perks up at the mention of your name, slightly embarrassed he ended up using it, but you go to pick up the order, noticing one of the girls looking oddly familiar. You can’t help but look at her, head tilted, and she can’t help but look at you. “You’re…” You mutter.
“Am I really seeing you again? Am I dreaming?” She rapidly says under her breath, surprising that she managed to recognize you with the mask again.
“You’re the girl from the café.”
“You remember me?” She’s equally as shocked. “I think you’re one of the few people that’s come up to me to ask me for a photo, so yes, I do remember you.” She smiles and squeals as softly as she can, realizing her group of friends saved a table for them and grabbed an extra chair for her. “Are you with…” You find it funny you both know who she’s talking about.
“I am. He’s in the bathroom.”
“I saw him through the window when we were coming here. It was nice seeing you again!”
“You too.” You reply as she walks off to join her friends. You go back to your table, placing the tray down and seeing Soobin go back to his seat. “I saw you talking with that girl. Wasn’t she the one who–“
“Yes, she’s the one that asked me for the photo. Honestly a coincidence. She’s really nice.”
“You think they’ll recognize me if I take off my mask?”
“Definitely.”
He does just that, while you do the same, taking one of the spoons. You check your phone quickly after feeling it buzz in your pocket, looking up to see a spoonful of bingsu facing you and being held by Soobin.
“What are you doing?” You know what he’s doing.
“I’m not moving until you eat.”
You roll your eyes and accept his attempt at spoon feeding you, just so he wouldn’t have to stay in the awkward position the entire time.
You’re sure those girls are looking over at you, because you can barely hear their squeals at the sight. One of them was scolding the group, as you could barely make out what she was saying, hearing their excited greetings right after.
Soobin turns to wave and say hello before his attention is back on you. “That girl didn’t want them taking pictures. The one who knows who you are.”
“You’re starting to like her, aren’t you?”
“Maybe we should hire her as our bodyguard.”
“Open.”
You mimic his action from earlier, holding a spoonful towards him. He simply smirks before accepting your offer with no retort or reply, the expression on his face enough to tell you what he was thinking.
“The real Y/N wouldn’t feed me at all. Who are you?”
“The Y/N that’s… doing her best to resist the urge to cuss you out right now.”
“Why’d you do it?”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s very out of character for you.”
‘Because I think I may or may not have a thing for you.’
“Let me be nice for once, okay? Otherwise I’m gonna throw this in your face.”
“There she is. I thought I lost you.”
You chuckle. “You like it when I’m mean?”
“Being mean is the only side I ever get out of you.”
“That’s because you flirt with me. I’m nice otherwise, and you know that.”
“You aren’t wrong. Y/N, what will it take for you to fall victim to my charms?”
“You’re weird.” I think I already have.
“Answer the question.”
You ponder for a moment, Soobin’s hard gaze almost stopping you from thinking straight. “If you can fufill my wildest fantasies, maybe I will.”
“And does wild mean… intimate, perhaps?”
“You’re so loud! At least be cautious when you know what you’re talking about…”
“Is that a yes?”
You don’t respond, beginning to finish off the bingsu in front of you. “I’ll ask Jung-Hwa, then.” You scoff. “Good luck trying to get anything out of her.”
“I’ll just have to guess.”
Soobin couldn’t deny it. You were so extremely astonishing and he was starting to have a thing for you too.
Thinking your friend is hot is one thing. It could just be admiring how they manage to be so perfect all the time and nothing beyond it. Thinking your friend is hot and being attracted to them is another.
How was he gonna be nice enough for you to actually take his compliments seriously? If he tried, you wouldn’t believe him. He’s flirted with you enough that you had a valid reason to refuse that he actually meant anything he was saying.
So while you giddily continued eating, stealing all the rice cakes off the shaved ice, he tried his best to hide the blush that was slowly rising onto his face, the dessert in front of him doing nothing to cool him down.
“Ready to go?” You ask, snapping him out of his own thoughts. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
His eyes are on you, moving up and down your body attentively, but sly enough for others to not notice. But you just had to notice.
You notice everything.
“Choi Soobin, what were you just looking at?”
“You.”
“Did I have something on my face? Or were you looking at something you shouldn’t have?”
“You are so astonishingly attractive, honey, I’m sorry that I can’t help myself.”
“Put your mask on. There’s already a group of people following us.” He turns around, only to see nobody there. “Made you look.”
“Is this your way of getting out of sweet talk?”
“What else am I supposed to say? ‘Thank you’, ‘you too’?”
“I’d love to hear that second option.”
“In your dreams.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You spent almost all your time in the studio for the next few days, most of the times getting out to use the bathroom or pick up a drink from the 19th floor. But it was your day to add any instruments, beats, and overall touch ups.
You were kept sane by conversations during breaks with Soobin and your manager. Mostly Soobin, since he was notorious for staying up later than his bandmates and always replying to you the minute you send a text. He checked up on you, asked if you needed anything, even if it was well past working hours and he needed to be asleep.
There’s a knock on the door while you’re just about to finish for the day. You get up to answer, greeted by a smiling Soobin holding a box in a plastic bag. “Can I come in?” You sigh with a smile, too mentally tired to argue and let him in, closing the door behind him.
He claims the chair beside yours, placing the bag down and taking the box out of it. This time your food was being delivered in person. “How’s it going so far?”
“Almost done for the day. I’m quite literally on the last song nearing the last second and I’ve had every single track on repeat that I might get sick of it.”
“You say that for every track you produce and you end up loving it.”
You stretch and feel as though your entire body has been resurrected again, making you question how bad your posture was and how long you were sitting for. You turned around to see Soobin standing in front of you. “So… I just remembered you haven’t answered my question I asked a week ago.”
“How do you still– nevermind.”
“What were you thinking of when you were working on the tracks? The concept? Honey, I’ve seen your texts to your manager over your shoulder and it makes me wonder what led you to approve of such explicit designs?”
At first, you don’t remember him asking the question at all. Then it hits you like a ton of bricks. The answer he never got was an answer not permitted to be shared with him. He’d never let you live it down.
“I imagined making out with someone for that one song. Don’t you remember me saying that?”
“Oh, honey, I remember that very well. But I know there’s something more behind that you aren’t telling me. And as your collaborative artist and very, very good friend… I feel I should deserve to know.”
He inched closer to you, leaning in with that sweet but mischievous smile he always had on whenever he was around you. “You wanna know what I was thinking of?” You retort, immediately getting embarrassed and hiding your face in your shoulder.
“I was thinking of you…”
He leans in closer, his hand cupping his ear. “What was that?”
“I was thinking of you.” This time you face him, watching that stupid smirk you hated seeing grow right in front of you. “Me?”
“You and your concept photos, how good you looked in them… how you’d look when recording them, when we recorded Tinnitus…”
“You were thinking of my abs?”
“Yes, I was thinking of your abs, okay, you got your answer for the sake of my own dignity.”
“Wow, Y/N, I am honoured to be so inspiring and being able to fufill your erotic fantasies in order for you to create the hottest album of all time.”
“If you say a word of this to anyone, I’m never producing for your group ever again.”
“I think it’s funny how you’re obsessed with me as much as I am obsessed with you.”
“What?”
“You’re beautiful, honey. You are so incredibly talented with a knack for everything and you manage to look fucking breathtaking while doing so. If you could see what I’m seeing right now, my God. You are so alluring, Y/N.”
You stay silent as he comes closer, eye contact not breaking and tension hot and heavy. “You really mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That. And every single time you’ve flirted with me.”
“I meant every single word I’ve said to you. I always have. The question is… do you mean every insult you call me? Every threat you send my way?” Your face goes warm, and he can see you blush, but your expression doesn’t change at all. He walks towards you, making you stop at the edge of the table as he continues to move closer. “No.”
“Did you imagine me being this close to you for your music?”
“Maybe.”
“I just poured my heart out for you, Y/N, you can just tell me the truth.” He smiles, hands on either side of you gripping the table, trapping you. “I did.”
“And what else did you imagine? What other dirty fantasies have been going through your head that caused you to produce such amorous melodies?”
You feel your ego climb through the roof. “I imagined what it would feel like to kiss you.”
“There you go, telling the truth for me. Now, I’ve made this fantasy of being so close to you a reality… why not make that other one come true?”
At this point, you’ve lost your patience.
You hold both sides of his head, pulling him in to kiss you messily. It’s sloppy at first, given your aggressive approach, but the minute his hands rest on your waist, everything else doesn’t matter. You just needed to have his lips on yours because God knows how desperate you have gotten ever since you’ve been in the studio, away from him.
It felt empty, lonely, uneasy when he wasn’t there. Maybe you just spent so much time with him that it felt unusual to be alone. And you preferred being alone, so why did it matter so much? That Soobin wasn’t there?
But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was kissing you so passionately, you felt his hands slowly move down to rest over your ass as he began to kiss you deeper, his tongue somehow slipping into your mouth without you noticing.
His lips were as soft as you saw them on the screen, his efforts to kiss you aggressive and contrasting. They were so pink when you pulled away, glistening with a mix of your spit. You messed up his hair and he messed up yours, but he still managed to look so good. “I’m so in love with you.” He whispers before he kisses you again, this time softer and more gently than before.
The post makeout haze is silent, slightly awkward, but fulfilling. At this point you two are merely staring at each other, breaking eye contact at times but finding you just couldn’t help but bring your gaze back to him.
“I don’t know if we can do this. Us, I mean.” You say.
“I know. But I want to.”
“How long? How long have you liked me like this?”
“When we went out for food after the Blue Hour promotions were over and Yeonjun invited you.”
“Jesus, that’s… a long time.”
“Do you like me the way I like you, Y/N? ‘Cause honestly, it’d be a little embarrassing if I just said it to your face only to find out you don’t see me the same way.”
“I literally just made out with you for five minutes straight and admitted to thinking of your six-pack while making this album.”
“…So you do?”
“Yes, I do. I really like you. A lot. And… I’m sorry for all the times I’ve friendzoned you.”
“You do what you gotta do in this industry. I don’t blame you. But… I really want to be your boyfriend.”
“And I wanna be your girlfriend.”
You both sit in silence for a moment as Soobin turns his chair to fully face you. “So what will we do?” You ask, breaking the ice that was beginning to freeze again. “I’ll take you on a date. After this and before our photoshoots.”
“And our company?”
Soobin ponders. “I’ll do my best to refrain from kissing you in public.”
“You’d fail immediately.”
“I would. That’s why I said I’ll try.”
Your eyes dart to the box left unattended and forgotten. “What is that, anyways?” You look at the box behind him, Soobin turning to open it and revealing fried chicken, boneless and split into two flavours. His sentimentality makes you chuckle, and how he remembered exactly what you liked.
You go to grab a piece from the box, but he pulls it away before you can even touch it.
“Give me a kiss first.”
You stare at him, not taking him seriously. “If I can’t kiss you in public, at least let me kiss you when we’re alone. Please?” You smile at his pleading, giving him what he wants just so you could start eating.
“I think the security cameras caught enough intimacy for tonight.” You say, stealing a piece of yangnyeom from the box.
“So much for trying to not kiss you in public, then.”
“We tried. Now eat, or I’ll finish it myself.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
He tried. He really did try not to kiss you anywhere in the public eye.
But you always looked so damn good that he wanted to pull you aside and kiss you just to show the public out of spite. And after many, many long months of you ignoring him in public, you decided to change something when you went on tour.
Though you rejected his advances in the open, you two had hefty make out sessions in private to make up for it.
Your North American tour would start in Canada and end in the U.S., the last city on your list being Los Angeles, where you’d become one of the many artists that performed there.
You’ve been on smaller tours in the region of Asia. Anywhere beyond that was new to you. Soobin had to show you the ropes. Along with being one sweet piece of eye candy on stage, he was also really helpful and surprisingly didn’t tease you so much whenever you asked for something.
Your company knew. Your staff knew. But no one outside knew that you and Soobin were in a relationship. It wasn’t unusual for a makeup artist to walk in on you giving him a kiss on the cheek or for stylists to witness him peppering kisses along your neck.
Venue staff didn’t seem to care either.
Being able to be intimate while rehearsing is the closest you’ve ever gotten to revealing your relationship status to the general public. But in this sense, it was more comfortable. More comfortable that it ever would be if netizens found out. You didn’t let that distract you.
You had one goal: to leave an impact through your performances.
It honestly surprised you how much you were globally renowned. A lot, but not all of your venues were sold out, and seeing them all seated there was a rush of adrenaline you’ve never felt before. Unlike Soobin, this was all new to you. And you loved it.
You loved that you were loved by many overseas, and that they recognized you for your production skills and professionalism alongside your energy when performing. It was like a whole stage play, the way your concert played out.
You had a little surprise for the California crowd.
Surprise as in, Soobin didn’t know about it, the staff didn’t know about it, nobody. Okay, maybe the staff did know because you were scared you were gonna get in trouble if you didn’t tell them beforehand. You didn’t do this for any other city, and you didn’t rehearse it. This was gonna be spontaneous. Usually you stuck to a plan, but sometimes you can squeeze a little something extra within, can’t you?
At the end of the last song of the night, you were put into a particular pose with Soobin where his face was in close proximity with yours. And you finally gave into the urge.
On the large, lit up stage, surrounded by thousands of people, you kissed him. It showed on the screens behind you, and you swore you could hear screams even with the in-ear monitor.
As the light turned off and only displayed your silhouettes, you rest your forehead against his.
“I love you, Soobin.”
He’s obviously very surprised, but plays along with it.
“I love you too, Y/N.”
And somehow the screams get even louder.
It was probably your favourite concert of the entire tour. You revealed what felt like a part of your world to the public. It felt… freeing.
Your phone buzzed against your nightstand, putting it on silent mode as Soobin joins you in the hotel bed.
“Hi.” He smiles tiredly.
“Hi.” You return, moving closer to him.
“I didn’t know you were gonna do that tonight.”
“I did. I liked it. Did you?”
“Oh, I loved it. Never thought you could be such a troublemaker.”
“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.”
“Oh? That is?”
“…I don’t like injeolmi bingsu that much.”
He gasps. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Ah, you really changed.”
“I am always changing, Soobin. It’s a matter of growth.”
“Then, when we go back to Korea, we’ll get pat bingsu. As a celebratory gift.”
“For what?”
“For working your ass off on this album and tour, Y/N. I’m so unbelievably proud of you and all that you’ve done to get this approved and popular.”
“You’re gonna make me fall in love again.”
“I certainly wouldn’t mind that.”
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kiss, far from reason, throw it all. i wanna kiss your lips. 🎧
49 notes · View notes
sxtvrns · 1 year
Text
purity and its presence in growth
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🎶 now playing: my heart it beats for you - grentperez
P: Soul (Haku Shota) x Fem!Reader
S: Moving to Korea in the peak of your adolesence isn't easy. You just happened to be there to help. How can he miss you so much even though you only knew each other for an hour? Maybe exchanging numbers was a better idea than he thought.
C: fluff, cute moments, inaccuracy, brainrot, baby p1ece don't slander me, needed to get this into my drafts immediately, kinda sloppy, drabble, puppy love, longer than it should be
N: Y/N is your first name, L/N is your last name. i saw somewhere online that said soul moved to korea when he was 13 for fnc and somehow this idea began to brew in the deep depths of my strange brain. im a little new to piwon so if i get something wrong im sorry :P any ages mentioned are korean age, not international. his name means like 'child with a pure soul' so thats why the title sounds so poetic but okay enjoy the potato child content
view the rest of the conversations ☆彡
please interact if you enjoy!
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After the almost 3 hour flight to Incheon, Shota stands in the airport mindlessly, staring at his phone and trying to resist the urge to call his mom. Though he knew that she'd pick up in a heartbeat if he did, he suddenly had a rush of independence surge through his veins when he stepped off the plane, telling himself every day was gonna be lonesome and that he'd have to learn how to get around. It wasn't until he got near the exit that he realized he had no idea what to do.
He should ask someone. There was a high chance quite a few people on that flight could also speak Japanese, but even so, he couldn't muster up the courage to talk to anybody. So he stood awkwardly, out of the way, watching all the people walk by and glance at him periodically.
He'd been studying Korean during his break time at school while at home in Japan, but he was afraid he'd say something wrong and embarass himself.
His eyes wandered amongst the people, and past the crowd of tall adults, there was you. A girl, who looked around his age, spacing out by some suitcases while some other adults, probably your parents, were talking to the clerks at the service deck. He took a deep breath, dragging his suitcases along with him as he shuffled past the bustling crowd and up to you.
"Excuse me." He mutters, catching your attention. "I need... to go... to this place. I.... don't know how." Your head tilts a little, confused while the cogs begin to turn in your head while he shows you the address. "You need a ride?" He nods. "Well, there's the railroad, but maybe a taxi can get you there faster..."
Now he's the confused one. "Could you... speak... slower?"
"Do you understand Korean?" You ask. He gestures with his fingers almost pinched together, meaning a little. "What other languages do you speak?"
"Japanese."
You smile. "If I'd known that, I would've answered in it then." You say, switching tongues so smoothly Shota's brain nearly fails to comprehend what just happened. "Where are your parents? Mine are taking too long at the desk."
"I came alone. My mom might come in the next few days to help me with moving. And send me off.”
"You and your mom are moving here? What about your dad?"
"No, I'm moving here. Alone. Just me. For work." You eye him and the two suitcases at both of his sides. "You look my age. How do you already have a job?"
"Um... I'm a trainee." Your eyes widen as you begin to nod, shocked. "Really? Already?" He nods as your eyes observe him again. "Cool. That's- wow, okay..." You struggle to finish your sentence, cutting yourself off. "Right, you need to get around- okay. Um, you could follow me. I know how to get the one way passes. Do you have money?" He nods. You begin to walk away as he trails behind you, following you to some sort of kiosk.
Guiding him through purchasing a pass, your parents meet with you by the railway, scolding you for walking off without informing them first before stepping on and finding seats on the train. The boy sits down next to you in the window seat, staring out at the scenery for the first time. "You could have taken a taxi, but I felt like I should've stayed with you. Y'know, so I can tell you more about how to get around and stuff."
"Thank you, by the way. I appreciate this. I think I would've gotten run over without you." He jokes lightheartedly. "No problem. I suddenly felt nice for once, so you're lucky you caught me at a good time." You send him the same energy, both of you laughing as the train begins to move. "When you get off with us, you can ask for a taxi, they'll drive you to the exact address. I’m sure you already know that, though." You add, him nodding before leaning fully back against the chair.
"What's your name?"
The question catches him off guard, staring at your awaiting face, almost forgetting to answer.
"Shota."
The way he introduces himself to you makes you smile. "L/N. Nice to meet you. It's nice having someone to talk to at my age that speaks my mother tongue. Even if all we do is just sit here and pass out while waiting to arrive." Your matching humour is something that sticks out to Shota, one that he likes laughing along to. "It must be scary, flying here alone and having to figure things out on your own. Especially with how young you are. I hope you'll do okay when we part ways."
"I'm still here for now. What are you and your family doing here?" He changes the topic, not wanting to think about you having to leave him so soon. "My dad's side of the family is Korean, so we come here often to visit them. We're considering moving here, since their side is trying to convince me to sign up for a career in modelling. They always say I 'have the visuals', which I don't see, but it wouldn't hurt to try."
"Don't forget me when you're famous." Shota says.
"I could say the same for you, Mr. Trainee. You'll make it far, I bet. I'm looking forward to your debut already."
"And I'm looking forward to seeing you on the billboards." You both smile at each other, a brief moment of silence settling between you two. Shota feels a tap on the side of his arm, head turning to look at you. You hold your phone towards him, the keypad open and empty. "Is it okay if we exchange numbers? This may be the only time we ever see each other, and I like talking to you. And you can text me if you ever need anything. I respond very quickly." Your attempt at convincing him was not needed, as he took your phone out of your hands swiftly and punched his number in. You did the same for his phone when he handed it to you, creating your contact for him.
L/N (ㆁωㆁ)
You write your name in Kanji for him, hearing him huff after you hand back his phone. You couldn't see the soft smile that adorned his face after seeing the contact name you set for yourself, as your eyes were already beginning to shut and send you into a deep sleep. For the rest of the ride, Shota looks out the window and all the buildings they pass by. Feeling a light weight against his arm, his gaze moves to check.
Your head rests against his arm, Shota listening carefully and hearing soft, deep breaths come from you. At first, he nearly freezes, but forgets about it and relaxes, letting you doze against his arm, checking on you periodically until the train reaches your stop.
Your parents are the first to see you two in that position, and while Shota's first instict is to panic and apologize, the idea quickly goes away, a smile on your mom's face as she shakes you gently to wake you up. When you first open your eyes, you see your mom, then turn to see Shota staring at you, nearly leaning against the window. You slowly begin to put the pieces together, embarrassed when coming to the correct conclusion.
When you wave as his taxi departs from the train station, reality dawns upon him. He’s alone, and he’ll have to figure out more than just how to get around since you’re gone now. He didn’t want to have to depend on you and annoy you all the time, so he vowed to himself that he’d learn and teach himself, along with the help of his fellow group members.
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After Shota settled into the dorm and was toured around headquarters, the feeling of lying in bed suddenly felt more desirable than he thought it’d ever be. It’s been a few days since he parted ways with you, and he was hesitant to text you for some unknown reason.
He stared at your open empty message box for a while, spacing out until his phone starts buzzing in his hand. He reads your name on the screen, realizing you were calling him. He sits up, still in shock at the timing that he almost forgets to answer.
“Hello?” He greets, almost unsure. “Shota! How are you? Sorry I haven’t texted or anything, I’ve been having a lot of meetings with my family and stuff.” He’s frozen in place at the sound of your voice, so gleeful than how you first met. “No, it’s okay. I spent the last few days settling in so it’s fine.”
“Are you busy right now? Am I calling at a bad time?”
“No.”
“Are you okay? You sound nervous.”
He sits there for a moment, taking a deep breath before responding.
“I kinda miss you.” It’s embarrassing for him to admit, but he really does. “Oh.” He hears you mutter over the phone, probably unaware that he heard. “I miss you too, Shota. It sounds strange, but I do get worried about you sometimes. But the fact you picked up the phone is assurance that you’re okay, so…”
“It’s a bit hard when you aren’t around, y’know? Like, I don’t know, maybe it’s because you can speak Japanese and I’m not afraid of messing up in front of you because I can speak my home language, but it’s hard to talk to other people. Even my groupmates. I can understand what they’re saying, but I’m too nervous to mess up to even say anything to them.”
“Well, you can’t get better at speaking if you don’t speak at all. It’s okay to make mistakes, Shota. I made a lot when I was learning too. At least you try.”
“Kee– I mean, one of my group members is teaching me. He had to learn it too.”
“So you’re both learning together! That’s good, you both share learning experiences. I’d love to teach you, but it’s kinda hard over call.”
“But it’s possible?”
“Yeah.”
He ponders for a moment before coming up with an idea. “I have a laptop. We can video call when I’m not busy.”
“Really? Are you okay with it?”
“I’m the one that asked.”
“Do you think we can call… for non-lesson purposes? Y’know, just to talk?”
He huffs, and thought you don’t see it, you hear a smile in his tone. “Of course. I’d really like that.”
The door to their room opens, Jongseob entering. “Hi Soul.” Apparently his voice picks up on the microphone, because you ask, “Who’s that?”
“My roommate. One of them.”
“Who are you talking to?” Jongseob asks, looking over at Soul. “My friend.”
“Who’s your friend?”
“We met at the...” Soul knows the word, but is worried he’ll say it wrong.
“Airport.” You find the word for him, saying it into his ear.
“…Airport. She helped me.” He finishes his sentence with your help.
“She? Aren’t we not allowed to talk to girls as trainees?”
“We aren’t?”
“I think so? Maybe I’m thinking of something else; I keep in touch with my friends so I think it’s fine.”
“Are they all boys?”
“Mostly. Some girls.”
“I can’t talk to you anymore?” You ask, Shota almost forgetting he was on call with you. “We can. I think. We’ll do it in secret.” He hears you laugh on the other end. “Soul?” You say, overhearing the name his friend called him.
“My Korean name. I came up with it. With my roommates.”
“It’s cute! It suits you.” For some reason, he feels too flattered at your compliment. He overhears someone yelling in the background. “I need to go and help with dinner. I’ll talk to you soon! Bye!”
“Bye–“ He gets cut off by the sound of the call ending, letting himself fall back onto the bed, arms sprawled out. Jongseob looks over again at his roommate, who’s staring at the ceiling. “Are you okay?” He asks. Soul lazily responds with a thumbs up. “What happened?”
“Cute.” He mutters loud enough for his roommate to hear. “Cute?” Jongseob questions, puzzled. Soul points at himself, the cogs turning in his roommate’s head briefly before his eyes widen in realization. “She called you cute?!”
“My name.”
“Your name? She called your name cute? Soul?” He nods, Jongseob more shocked than he should’ve been. “Don’t fall in love yet, Soul, we haven’t debuted yet.” He jokes lightheartedly before he goes back to scrolling on his phone.
For a while, you’re the one to initiate calls. You always hesitate, knowing how busy he is, but you eventually learn that he’s off on Sundays and is usually off training well past 10 in the evening. If otherwise, he calls you first.
He enjoys talking to you a lot. He’s more comfortable speaking his home language in general, and the fact he has someone to talk to in it makes coming home from practice even more exciting.
His roommates would wonder why he rushes to his room so quickly the minute they step foot back in their dorm, but don’t question it. As long as he was able to talk to you, through call or text, he was able to stay sane.
While on FaceTime with him, the door to his room opens, as it usually does when you two call, this time a different man you haven’t seen before by the door. You eventually met Jongseob, the first guy who walked in on the two of you calling, and saw what he looked like, but this guy was definitely not him. He looked a little intimidating.
“Soul, do you want anything? We’re ordering delivery.” The man asks, Soul looking back at him. “Fries.”
“Just fries? Like usual?”
“I want… the same thing as you. Except large fries.”
“Okay, sure. Who’s that?” He seems to have noticed your face on Soul’s phone screen. “My friend. This is Keeho.” He introduces the man at the door to you, the name familiar. “He’s teaching you Korean?” The man gives a thumbs up, switching to a wave. “Hello, Soul’s friend!” He greets, his smile ridding all your previous opinions of him being intimidating.
“Hello! I’m just talking to Soul for a bit. How are you?” You reply, Keeho equally befuddled as Soul when he first met you, and how you switched tongues so effortlessly. “I’m doing well, thank you. How did you two meet?”
“Airport. I helped him get around for a bit.”
“Oh, really? That’s cool. I’ll be heading out now, sorry to interrupt.” Keeho waves at the camera again before shutting the door. Soul turns back to face you. “He looked scary.” You admit. Soul seems to agree with you, given the expression on his face. “That’s what I thought too! But he’s really nice and funny.”
“How many of your roommates know about me?”
“He’s the second one.”
“And how many roommates do you have?”
“Five. Plus me, so six.”
“Six?! And you share a room with how many people?”
“3 per bedroom. The whole place is actually quite roomy.”
“I don’t think I’d survive…”
“If you’re rooming with just girls, you’ll be fine. Boys, however…”
“Yeah, I get what you mean.”
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“You got a haircut!”
“You noticed.”
“Of course I noticed. It looks really good!”
“I got something else too.”
“What is it?”
Soul grabs something out of frame, eyes focusing on his fingers. “Keeho and I went out today. I found these rings and bought them.” He curls his hand into a fist, showing them off to the camera. It’s a variety of different skull rings, a few on his right hand and a few on his left. “Cool! Where’d you get them? I want some for myself.”
“I can just give you one.”
“Really? But you just bought them.”
“When we meet up sometime, you can pick one.”
“Are you sure?”
“If it helps remind you of me.”
Your face goes warm. “You’re so sweet, Shota.”
“Did you cut your hair?” He asks. You’re surprised he noticed, given how subtle the difference was. “It was just a trim. And they made it flowier or something.” His head moves closer to the camera. “Are you keeping it this short?” You shake your head. “Getting rid of split ends and stuff. It’ll grow back eventually.”
“It’s very pretty. It looks good on you.”
“Thank you…” You mutter, flustered for a reason you can’t make out. How noticeable could a subtle change be that it could evoke such words not meant to be anything more than meaningful?“I really want to see you.”
“You’re seeing me right now.” He jokes. “I know, but… in person. I feel kinda limited only being able to see you on my laptop or phone screen.”
“Me too. I haven’t debuted, so it’s kind of risky for me to be hanging out with a girl. Outside.”
“They don’t know we’ve been calling?”
“They know. But it’s more discreet this way because no one can see us.”
“When are you debuting?”
“I don’t know yet. And if I did, I don’t know if I’d be allowed to tell you.”
“I’m good at keeping secrets! I still remember some from 5th grade.”
“If you say so.”
“Oh, I just remembered I needed to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
A smile slowly grows on your face. “I’m moving here.” Shota’s face is equally as shocked. “Really?”
“I got signed with an agent and got a few bookings! They’re small, but they’re something.”
“L/N, that’s amazing! You’re– you’re gonna be famous! I’m gonna see your face in all the stores!” You laugh at his enthusiasm. “Hey, maybe when we’re both famous, we can hang out in public! Maybe we can collaborate.”
It was always moments like this, purity radiated off your interactions. You’d get excited over the thought of seeing each other in person, what you’d do when you finally meet up, and how long you’d hang out together (you two always insisted on a night at your place). What you’d talk about, the kinds of pictures you’d take, what kind of food you could eat.
After all, you two were still kids.
You celebrated his 16th birthday late into the night, on voice call after his in person celebration with his roommates. He wished you were there as he blew out the candles on his cake.
“Happy birthday, Shota.” You softly greet, knowing he’s on the verge of falling asleep as he laid in bed. “Thank you.” He mutters, voice muffled, his face buried in his blankets. “I wish I could be with you in person. I got you a gift.”
“Really? You didn’t have to…”
“I wanted to. I’ll give it to you when we finally meet up.”
“We always say we’re gonna meet up, but when? I don’t know if I can wait much longer.”
“It’s only a matter of your schedule. I’m free most of the time.”
“Maybe after I finally debut this year…” Shota’s eyes widen, realizing what he just said. “What? You’re debuting?”
“I didn’t mean to say that–“ You squeal softly over the phone in an attempt to not wreck his ears. “When were you going to tell me?!”
“Honestly, I forgot. I forget a lot of things.”
You stifle a laugh. “I’m so proud of you! All your hard work is finally paying off– maybe we really can see each other! When are you debuting?”
“Sometime later this year. It’s why I haven’t been picking up your calls, I’ve been really busy recording and stuff. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. You do what you gotta do, okay? Just call me whenever you aren’t busy. Or text. Or whatever, I’m okay with anything.”
Shota softly chuckles. “So what did you get me?”
“It’s a surprise. You’ll find out eventually.”
“I’ll be 17 by the time I get that gift…”
“Keep your head up, Shota, we’ll see each other soon enough. You sound tired. Get some rest. Goodnight.” He breathes slow and deep before replying. “Goodnight, L/N.” He ends the call, taking out his earbuds and putting them and his phone on the small, crowded bedside table.
“Was that L/N?” Jongseob asked groggily. Soul replied with a monotone ‘mmm’, meaning he was right. “Who’s L/N?” Theo asks from the far side of the room. “Soul’s friend. They call all the time.”
“You talk to her like she’s your girlfriend. How you want to see her all the time and stuff. It’s cute.” Theo mutters, Soul barely making out what he said. His face goes warm at the assumption. “We haven’t seen each other… in 2 years. We’ve only met once in person.”
“And training is holding you back from seeing her? That’s why you video call?” Jongseob puts two and two together, receiving the same monotone response from Soul. “We’re off tomorrow. You can see her then.”
“But we haven’t debuted yet.”
“So? Intak meets with his friends all the time.”
“They’re all guys.”
“Soul, you can’t exactly be deprived of meeting up with your friends. And what if she’s a girl? If you want to hang out with her, hang out with her.” Theo speaks up, voice clearer now that his head isn’t buried in his blankets. “This goes for you too, Jongseob. You guys are still kids. If you’re being forced to be an adult in the industry, at least try to have fun while you’re still young outside of work.”
Soul lays there for a moment. “What if she’s sleeping?” He asks aloud. “The fact she called you this late means she’s probably still awake at this time.” Jongseob says, convincing Soul to pick up his phone one last time for the night. He opens your contact in his messages, typing swiftly.
I’m off tomorrow. Can we meet up?
By the time he falls asleep, he receives a message from you.
Yes please (⌒▽⌒)
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“L/N? You’re seeing her today?” Keeho asks, making himself a bowl of cereal as Soul eats his own. Soul responds monotone with his mouth full, his leader sitting down with him. “Do you want me to go with you? I won’t stay the whole time, I’ll just drop you off with her then walk around myself, might just get some new clothes.”
‘You bought new clothes a week ago…’ Soul thinks.
“Are you gonna get her something? How long are you gonna be out for?” Soul shrugs his shoulders at Keeho’s question. The other bedroom door opens, Jiung emerging from the dark room with a loud yawn before closing the door. “Morning.” He greets, going for the same breakfast choice as the two boys sitting at the table.
“Does he know?” Keeho points at Jiung with his thumb. “Jiung and Intak don’t know.” The boy at the kitchen counter looks at them weirdly. “Me and Intak don’t know what?” He questions, suspicious of his two group-mates. “L/N.” Keeho answers.
“Who’s L/N?”
“He doesn’t know…!” Keeho whispers.
“Oh…” Jiung says after a brief moment of staring into space. “Isn’t that Soul’s girlfriend?”
Keeho nearly chokes on his cereal. “Girlfriend?!”
“No, she’s my friend!”
“Oh, my bad. You’re always smiling at your phone and you talk so lovey dovey in your room. The walls are quite thin.” Soul couldn’t figure out what was more embarrassing; the fact that the people in the other room could hear him talking to you or the fact two people thought he had a girlfriend. “We’re still trainees, Jiung, we can’t date. Besides, he’s only 16.”
“Just saying. Maybe after we debut, you can date–“
“Jiung, if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to cut your hair off in your sleep.” Keeho threatens. It seems to work, given that Jiung begins to eat his breakfast in silence. “I guess he does know.” Soul mutters, mostly to himself.
“So are you getting her anything?” Keeho asks, going back to his answered question. “Ring.” Soul shows off the accessories that decorated his fingers. “Really? I thought you said you’d never give those away. And that you’d end the world if you ever lost them…”
“I promised. And we can match.”
“Aww.” Jiung coos, the two boys at the table glaring at him. “What?”
Keeho turns back to Soul, taking their empty cereal bowls and stacking them on top of each other. “Go get changed, we’ll leave soon.” He says, going to put the dishes in the sick.
By the time Soul gets back to his room, Jongseob and Theo are awake, their lamps on. “Morning, Soul. How are you up so early?” Theo greets, Soul shrugging in response. They watch as their early bird roommate picks an outfit, throwing his clothes onto the bed. “Are you going somewhere?” Jongseob asks.
“I’m seeing L/N today.”
They both look at him, wide eyed and now fully awake. “Really?!”
“It was your idea.” He says, referring to both of them. “When are you leaving?” Theo asks, eyes still on Soul. “Soon. Keeho is walking with me. Then we’ll be on our own.”
“So it’s like a date?” Jongseob nudges Theo hard in the side. “Does everyone think that?” Soul groans, his roommates heading for the door.“Everyone that knows.” Jongseob smirks before he shuts the door, leaving Soul alone with his thoughts in the bedroom.
On the walk there, Soul plays with his fingers, fiddles with his rings, almost too nervous to even function. Keeho seems to notice, giving him a pat on the back. “There’s nothing to worry about, Soul. You’ve seen each other, you know each other. You’ve been looking forward to this for so long, what’s wrong?”
“It’s… different in person. I’m excited, but I’m scared I’ll…” Soul looks for the word, Keeho noticing him struggling to finish his sentence. “Embarrass yourself?” Soul nods. “You’ve seen all sides of each other, Soul. I hear you laugh at like… 11 in the evening. I think I heard you fall off your bed once.”
“She’s seen that side of you. I’m sure you’ve seen that side of her, too. You’ll be okay.” Keeho’s words make up the rest of the walk, as Soul stops in his path as his eyes land on you, sitting on a park bench perfectly shaded by a tree. He stands there, simply admiring you, and how he’s so happy he’s seeing you not on his phone screen.
He pulls out his phone, opening your contact and sending you a text.
Look to your right 👀
You do exactly that, and though you’re far away, he sees such a bright glow in your eyes as you get up and run over to him, jumping onto him for a hug. Soul is surprised at your sudden gesture, but happily accepts, holding you tight and even spinning you around.
“Shota! I’m so glad you–“ You notice Keeho out of the corner of your eye, simply smiling at the two of you. “Oh, hi Keeho...” You greet awkwardly, embarrassed that he saw the whole thing. “Nice to meet you, L/N. How long are you gonna be out for?”
“Until Soul wants to go home. A few hours, maybe.”
“Make sure you two stick together, okay? Otherwise all of us are gonna get in trouble in one way or another.” Keeho says lightheartedly before walking off. You look back at Soul, who’s staring at you with the brightest sparkle in his eyes. “You look even better in person.” You say, brushing his hair out of the way.
“Are you saying I don’t look good when we call?”
“I’m saying you look good no matter what.”
“Can I say the same for you?” He asks, as if you’re going to say no. “I actually want to show you something. And I have lots to tell you.” You take his hand without a second thought, pulling him with you. He’s caught off guard with your sudden gesture, but doesn’t protest in any way. Really, he enjoys it.
“Is this okay with you? Sorry, I forgot to ask.” Shota nods with a smile, and that’s all the assurance you need to keep your hold on his hand to guide him. “I hope we can meet like this again sometime. All the time.”
“Hey, I’m here now. Worry about that later.”
“You’re right. Come on!” You tug on his hand as you begin to lightly jog across the street, slowing down when you get nearby. “Okay, close your eyes.” He’s confused at first, but obliges. You guide him to an outside display of a clothing store. “You can open them now.”
Shota uncovers his eyes, seeing your face on display as a model for said store. “It’s you!” He exclaims as you nod off to the side. His gaze switches from you to the photo and back, and he finds himself staring at it for almost too long.
“I want a picture with it.” You laugh, taking his phone from him and snapping a few photos, switching to silly faces for the camera. “Do you like it?”
“I love it. You look so pretty. Beautiful.” Your face goes warm as you stare at him, and he stares at the photo. “You look really good.” He smiles, and your heart starts racing like never before. “Shota…” You mutter into his sleeve, holding onto his hand again. “What?”
“Let’s go. You can see my face some place else.”
“Can I get a photo with them too?”
You roll your eyes, unable to hold in your laugh. “Sure. You can take as many photos as you want.”
The day is full of you running around, taking photos, sharing food and drinks. And for almost all of it, Shota’s hand is in yours, and his grip never loosens. He never wants to let go.
Sitting at an outdoor table of a small café, you hand Shota a gift bag. “What’s this?” He asks. “Happy belated birthday, Shota.” At the sound of that, he looks through the bag, taking out a small potato plush. “Cute…!” He mutters, squeezing it in his hands. “I have one of my own. It came in a set, so I gave this one to you.”
“I love it.” He smiles, going through the bag again. There’s something at the bottom, which he grabs and pulls out. It’s a bracelet, similar to the one you were wearing at the moment. “I wanted to give you something that reminded you of me. If you ever get lonely. Sounds cheesy, but–“
“I’m never taking this off.” His dramatic reply cuts off your sentence as you help him tighten it on his wrist. “I want to give you something too.” You tilt your head. “But it was just your birthday. Shouldn’t you be the one receiving gifts right now?”
“Well, as someone once said, I want to give you something that reminds you of me.” Shota holds out his hands, showing off his rings. “Pick one.”
At first, you’re shocked. “Really?” He nods, watching as your eyes scan over his fingers. “This one.” You point. He takes it off and puts it on for you, and it somehow fits just fine. “I feel so cool now! Thank you.”
On the way back to your place, Shota holds onto your hand again, to the point where if he were to let go, you’d feel like you forgot a piece of yourself. “Are you walking back alone?” You ask, looking up at the sky, which painted a pinkish sunset above. “Keeho is gonna meet me here after you go inside.”
“I just don’t want you walking by yourself. It’s a bit scary.”
“I know. But everything is under control, so I’ll be okay.”
When you reach your home, you turn to look at your friend. “Today was fun. I wanna hang out with you like this again.”
“So do I. But I’m… y’know, I’m busy. With a lot.”
“I know you are. I’ll be waiting for you, Shota. I’m always ready.”
“Haku.”
“Huh?”
“My name. My name is Haku.”
“Haku Shota?” You clarify. He nods. “You have such a pretty name.”
“You’re pretty.”
Oops.
He didn’t mean to say that out loud. While he was embarrassed, your heart was racing. Your face was warm, and it matched the sky.
“You’re pretty, Haku. You are… very handsome.”
You understand how he feels now, attempting to return the compliment. “Am I weird for saying that? Because… I really do mean it. I’m just awkward.” You explain. “Not at all. Have I been weird? Calling you pretty…?”
“No! No– you’re, you’re okay. I liked it– I mean, um…” You stutter over your words, cursing at yourself for revealing too much. Haku laughs. “I’ll call you that more if you like it so much.”
“If you want to kill me, go ahead.”
“I thought you said you liked it.”
“I’ll die of a heart attack. I’ll die happy.”
“Soul!” Someone calls. It’s Keeho, waving at him from afar. “Thanks for today. I’m… I really liked spending time with you.” Soul responds with a long, tight hug, the feeling of being in his arms comforting. “I don’t wanna let go.” Soul mutters into your shoulder. “You’re gonna have to at some point.”
“What if I don’t?”
“Shota–“
“I’ll just stay with you so then we can hang out all the time.”
“You know you can’t do that.” You hear him sigh and reluctantly pull away. “Bye, L/N.”
“Y/N.”
“Hm?”
“It’s Y/N.”
He huffs with a smile. “Bye, Y/N.” He waves as you walk off, walking towards and with Keeho once he sees you let inside your house. “How was it?”
“Really fun. I’m already excited for another one.” Keeho looks at Soul’s hands, noticing one of his fingers bare, a bag in his hand, and his wrist adorned with a new bracelet. He really gave you one of his rings. And you gave him something too.
Though this was your first hang out in a few years, Keeho sensed something unbeknownst to Soul that was bound to bloom at some point. He just didn’t know when.
When they got back to the dorm, Soul went straight to his room and changed, lying down on the bed with your contact open. He changed your name.
L/N Y/N (ㆁωㆁ)
And sent you one last text for the night.
You have a very pretty name (*´꒳`*)
Make that two.
Goodnight (_ _).。o○
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You find it odd that it took you two years to find out each other’s first names, but life goes on the way it always does.
You also found it odd that you enjoyed talking to Shota so much. You’ve always enjoyed talking to him, you just enjoy it a lot more now. Maybe too much.
You were the first person he texted when he debuted. You were also the first person to see any of his performance videos. One thing stayed consistent throughout:
He was wearing your bracelet.
Sometimes it would be hidden under his sleeve, the strings to tighten it peeking out just a little bit. He really meant it when he said he would never take it off, even if that meant getting into trouble with the stylists.
You were peaking in your career as well. You’d gotten a lot more busy with bookings and shows despite being so young. But despite your schedules, you always found time to talk to each other, like always.
And you even found time to hang out in person a lot more than before.
You started wearing masks in public. Sometimes you got recognized, and so did Shota. Nothing too drastic to the point where paparazzi started following you and taking pictures from the bushes. Shota was still careful, though. A scandal too soon into their debut could wreck him and his group’s career.
As careful as he was, Shota still held onto your hand in public. He was much more nervous now that more people knew who he was, and he always found himself latching onto you. The language barrier slowly began to shrink for him, his Korean improving, but he had a hard time talking to strangers. To his group, he was fine.
He couldn’t stop the uneasy feeling in his stomach the closer they got to the counter. Why was he so nervous? He felt like he couldn’t talk to anyone at all. “Could I get a 2 with onion rings?” You ask, the cashier at the till looking at Shota next. He was frozen in place, staring at her, suddenly squeezing your hand with a tight grip. “And a 5. Large fries.” You order for him, paying and taking the receipt and cups.
Shota sits down at a table by the window, ashamed and embarrassed, guilt overwhelming him. It wasn’t such a big deal, yet he felt like a failure for not being able to do something so simple. “Do you want to share?” He doesn’t respond, staring and spacing out at the table mindlessly.
You sit in the chair across from him, looking around to see if anyone is watching. You place your hand on top of his, rings colliding with each other, which brings him back to reality. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You ask with such genuineness that he feels guilty for even worrying over such a trivial thing.
“Nothing, it’s… it’s stupid. So stupid.”
“I can’t know how stupid it is if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.”
Shota looks up at you with puppy eyes, breaking eye contact once he begins to speak. “I… um, I froze when we were ordering. You do it for me all the time and I wanted to do it for myself this time but I just couldn’t… talk. I couldn’t speak, I’ve been getting better at talking but I’m still scared to even order my own food– this is so dumb.” He rests his head on the table, messy black hair hiding his face.
Your hand moves from his hand to his head, fingers running through his hair as you caress him. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, Shota. I’m glad you’re trying, you’re having confidence in yourself. It’s good to take it slow sometimes. I’m always here for you, Keeho is always there for you, your group is there for you! There’s always next time, okay? It may seem like a small step to others, but all that matters is how much it means to you. We’re always here for you. No matter if it’s me or anyone from your group.”
When he lifts his head up, your hand naturally moves from his hair down to his face, your thumb resting on his cheek. “Thank you.” The sparkle in his eyes comes back, as he stares at you for a long time, yet you don’t seem to mind and reciprocate it. Noticing how you two probably look to bystanders, you pull your hand away, face warmer than it should be.
“Um, do you just wanna share? I forgot to ask for medium instead of large.” You refer to the cups in your hand, and he nods, watching as you stumble while getting up from the chair and over to the drink fountain. The cup presses against the trigger, watching as the soda fills the cup to the brim.
As you walk back and grab your order, you can’t help but overthink. Why did you do that? It looked so intimate, and if people knew who you were, if people knew who he was… you’d both get in trouble. Shota would get in trouble because of you. You knew him too well to know that he’d take the blame and risk getting kicked out not even a year into their debut.
When you bring the tray to the table, you feel his eyes on you, and your heart had no reason to be beating so fast in the moment. “Are you okay? You look worried.” This time, Shota asks you. Your head perks up at his voice, snapping you out of it. “I’m okay. Let’s just eat.”
Everything goes back to normal in your silly, lighthearted fashion. You’d steal fries off his side, he’d drink from your straw, and you two would just mess around as you always would. No one came up to either of you with your masks off, so you two continued to be yourselves in the moment, with no one staring.
You find beauty in his personality. How you get to see him like this since you two are so comfortable with each other. Is he like this at his dorm? Probably. But is he ever this excited? Maybe not. You get to see him at full energy, unhinged and expressive, a side that the public might not see in him. And you felt so incredibly lucky.
Shota liked the way you stared at him, and the way a smile would creep up on your face. The way you’d hit a table over and over again or clap your hands when you found something funny. The way you’d pick up on his subtle hints and gestures and how you’d always found a way to make him feel better, the way you’d instantly recognize what’s wrong. You were patient with him, and that’s all he’s ever wanted.
He saw Keeho like an older brother; he acted the same way you did, but there was something different about the way you approached things. The way you weren’t afraid to be so physical with him, and how he wouldn’t recoil from your touch. He loved your hugs, and the way you’d bury yourself in him whenever you did.
Soul finds himself thinking of you at the dorms. He always thinks of you, but this was thinking of you at an extreme. You were on his mind 24/7. He’d think of how much fun certain practices would be if you were there. How you’d criticize him for putting the seasoning packets after putting the ramen in the bowl. Sometimes he’d imagine getting surprised by you. What would happen if you walked through the door right now?
You two saw each other’s quirks and you loved them. You saw sides of each other that the public couldn’t, and it made you both feel special. When you felt your heart racing when you thought of him, you couldn’t help but feel full of dread.
When he saw your photos or clips of your shows, he hated that his face went warm when you came on screen. That he was so hyper focused on you and nothing else.
You were smart. Emotionally and academically. You knew what was happening, but didn’t want to accept it. Really, it was process of elimination.
You started to have feelings for your best friend.
And you hated it. You hated it because him being in the industry pretty much means that he can’t date at all. You’d have to live with feelings that would never be reciprocated, and sometimes it hurt whenever you saw his face, especially when he was looking so damn good.
So you always stayed in denial of your feelings. You gaslighted, convinced, manipulated yourself to get over it, but nothing worked. You couldn’t help that your best friend was just that talented and attractive that when he texts you, you feel butterflies in your stomach and a smile grows onto your face.
Soul, however, was much more unaware of it. He never liked anyone. He was left alone with his thoughts for majority of his childhood, and had female friends but no romantic attraction to anyone.
When he finds himself pondering at the kitchen table, spacing out as he tries to figure out his feelings, his older brother figure, Keeho, sits down with him, after noticing Soul leaving the last bit of food in his bowl and just staring blankly. “You okay?” His voice snaps Soul out of it as he nods.
Intak sits down in the other seat with his own bowl, unintentionally now being a part of the conversation. “Something’s on your mind. You can tell me, I won’t judge.” Soul knows Keeho won’t judge. Intak, however…
Soul’s gaze moves from Keeho to Intak. “Intak won’t care. What’s bothering you?”
“What are we talking about?” Intak asks, clueless.
“L/N.”
“What’s up with L/N? Didn’t you just see her last weekend?”
“Is L/N that girl Soul’s friends with? I saw her advertising a brand at a department store the other day.” Intak overhears, pitching into the conversation. “Yeah, that’s her.”
“What’s wrong? Did she insult you or something?”
The more Soul tries to think about it with the words in his head, his heart beats faster and faster that he brings his hand to his chest, feeling the rapid, strong pulse against his palm. How did you manage to make him feel like this? Like he was speechless?
Keeho seemed to notice something, because he moved Soul’s hand and put his own on his chest, feeling how fast it was beating and how powerful it was. “Your face is all red. Are you having a fever?” Intak asks, totally opposite to what Keeho is thinking.
“Oh my god.” He starts, acting overdramatic. “You like her.” When Keeho says it, it makes Soul cringe, and he hates that he came to the same conclusion. “Soul likes who?” Intak is still clueless about the whole situation, probably tired out from practice that day.
“L/N, you idiot, get your head out of the clouds.”
“I like her. A lot.”
“You like her as more than a friend?” Keeho clarifies, Soul nodding. He can see the conflict in his leader’s eyes, a sense of understanding yet a tinge of guilt. “I know we can’t… date. I really want to. She’s the first person who’s ever understood me… ever since I got here.”
His leader sighs. “I think you should tell her. But… be careful. You’re putting a lot of things at risk here.”
“I know I am.”
“Soul’s a pretty quiet person. He should be okay. I mean, as long as none of us ramble about it, we should be fine.” Keeho nods along, his face content. On the inside however, he knows damn well all of them ramble way too much.
And they could ramble about you and Soul.
“Should I text her?”
“Tell her in person. If you really like her, and you really do mean it, you need to tell her the next time you two meet up.”
“But what if I can’t say it?” Keeho is well aware of Soul’s problem with freezing up when talking to others, yet this was something bound to happen, even with you. “She’s patient. She’ll wait as long as she needs to for you to say it. You’ll be okay, Soul. I’m pretty sure she likes you back.”
“She does?”
Keeho scoffs. “Have you seen the way she is around you? Sometimes she stutters over her words when you’re around, she’s always waiting for you, she lets you take her food… there’s a whole list that goes on for a while.”
Soul’s gut feeling was right. He did have a crush on you. A really big one that would only grow if he didn’t do something about it quick.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
He arranged to hang out with you the following week. His heart would not stop beating as if it was about to soar right out of his chest. He swore that if you put your thumb on the right spot on his wrist, you’d feel how nervous he was getting as time passed, and he did not want that happening soon enough.
You noticed something else. He seemed a lot more tense, spaced out, and hesitant. To be honest, you were almost the same. You hesitated to hold his hand like you usually did when you walked with him, worried someone would recognize either of you and see what was happening.
Anything simple you’d over-romanticize. He’d block you from the wind. He’d freak out and any display of you and take a picture of it, smiling as he checked them one last time for any retakes. How he’d play with your hand when you two sat together. When you’d share your food.
Everything you did normally was now something you saw as something beyond your friendship. You wanted it to be that way, you really did, but knowing Soul, as clueless as he is, he probably didn’t mean anything at all behind his actions. Everything has just been so normalized between the two of you.
Your heart raced as fast as his. One could say that if you compared both of your pulses, they would sync up, or be extremely close in heart rate. His face had the slightest tinge of pink that you noticed under certain lighting— you didn’t get to look at it long since he didn’t want to call you out for staring.
“I really like your hair colors. They’ve all looked really good on you.” You say, Soul surprised at the sudden compliment. “I’ve only dyed it once or twice…”
“And it looks good. Even your hairstyles! The braids are so cute! If it gets long enough, I should give you pigtails.”
“Long enough that hopefully I don’t get scheduled for a haircut.”
“I’d cry, honestly.”
Shota stops in his tracks in front of your place, the sudden tug on your hand holding you back. “I need to tell you something. It’s been… stuck in my head for a while.” He admits, kicking away a stone at his feet. “What is it?” The look you give him almost makes him back out, but he knew keeping it in for longer would only eat at him. And it wouldn’t be a while until he’d see you again.
“Um, I–“
“Soul!”
Shota turns around at the sound of the voice, Keeho standing at a distance and waving at him. He turns back to face you, taking a deep breath.
“L/N…”
“I like you.”
He notices the shock in your expression, your eyes widening slightly and jaw slightly hanging open.
“I like you a lot.” He continues.
Shota doesn’t know what to make of your blank stare at him, since you do so for longer than you should’ve. “I-I know it’s hard for us to do any relationship related stuff because of our careers. Um, I get if you’re worried about all of this and dating in general but…”
“Shota.” You cut him off, his eyes landing on you. You take both of his hands, thumbs brushing over the metal of his rings. “I want to go out with you.” You say so forwardly that he almost becomes the shocked one. “I really like you. I really do. I… I don’t want your career to be ruined because of me. You worked your ass off for this and God knows how much we’ve been separated because of it.”
You squeeze his hands, looking at how they intertwine. Shota speaks up. “Is it crazy that I like you so much?”
“How much?”
“That I feel like you’re the only one who’ll ever understand me? That you’re the only one I’ve ever had actual genuine feelings for? Am I too young to be thinking about these kinds of things?”
“I ask myself the same questions. Every. Single. Day.”
He giggles, feeling your head lean against him. You look up, chin resting against him with a light in your eyes he hadn’t seen before. “I don’t think you’re crazy. I think we’re two teenagers stupidly in love.”
“Soul, hurry up!” Keeho calls.
You can practically hear him roll his eyes the way he scoffs, making you giggle. “Go out with me.” He asks, more of a statement than a request. His chin rested atop your head, his hand rubbing your back with reassurance. “M’kay.” You agree with a smile, voice muffled.
“We’ll keep it a secret.”
“Even from the guys?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Your dad is calling you.” He laughs at your joke, noticing you lost in thought. You pull away a bit, looking at the ground for a moment. In one swift movement, you tiptoe and peck his cheek. “Bye!” You briefly bid, briskly walking away. Shota raises his hand to where you kissed him, almost forgetting in his moment of bliss that Keeho had already called him twice.
The walk back is mostly in silence, Soul doing his best to stop his giddy little smile on his face from growing any more. Keeho didn’t look back at him once.
The sun is fully set by the time they arrive back at the dorms, Keeho entering with an extravagant greeting. “We’re baaack!” He gleefully exclaims. Shuffling can be heard from a distance as the boys begin to take off their shoes. “Soul, how was the–“ Theo starts, being cut off after seeing something on Soul’s face.
When he gets up from kneeling down, Theo notices a light pink mark on Soul’s face, and it for sure was not his blush. “You– She–“
“What’s happening–“ Jiung is equally as shocked as Soul walks into the main space. “Oh my god.” He mutters, hand going to cover his dropped jaw. “She kissed you!” Theo exclaims. Keeho immediately comes running over, grasping Soul’s face and turning it to find the mark. He gasped louder than he should’ve when he found it.
“Just on the cheek.” Soul felt like he had to specify, but the three boys continued to jump around and freak out over the mark. “Cute! Ugh– we need to meet her sometime!” Jiung gushes.
“She just kissed me today and you guys already want to meet her in person?”
They all nod.
“I think you guys would scare her. It’s a bit cramped in here… and we aren’t even allowed to have girls here.”
“Maybe we’ll run into her during a photoshoot! She’s getting pretty famous nowadays.” Jiung adds. “I’ve already met her so many times, just saying. She’s cool.” Keeho bragged before walking into his room.
Intak enters the living space, wondering why Theo and Jiung are crowded around Soul. Keeho goes back out to join them with his empty bottle of water, originally with the task of refilling it. Soul feels a buzz in his pocket, taking it out to see your name on his phone screen.
“She’s calling you!” Jiung gasps, Theo shushing him right after. Soul swipes right to accept the call. “Put her on speaker!” Intak whisper yells, Soul holding out his phone for his group members to huddle around it.
Jongseob comes out of his room, joining the boys even though he had no idea what exactly was going on. “Hello?” Soul greets. “Hi Shota!”
“I thought we just saw each other 20 minutes ago. Do you miss me already?” He jokes, attempting not to stutter over his words. “Oh, we’re speaking in Korean now! I see how it is.” He can hear your sarcasm over the phone, a smile growing on his lips. “What’s up? Did you forget something?”
“My parents kinda caught us outside. When I…”
“Oh. Right.”
“They want you to come over.”
“So soon?” Intak says a little too loud.
“Who was that?”
“No one– just a show in the background.”
“Oh. Well, you’ve met them before. On calls and stuff, they know who you are. You know them, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Because they saw… us… they want to meet you. I told them about how busy you were and your schedule and that it wouldn’t be for a while until you were free again–“
“Y/N.” He cuts you off for a second. “I’ll let you know when I’m free.”
“Really?”
“I want them to know I’m a good person. That I am doing my best for you.” His groupmates gush audibly, and it definitely picks up on the microphone. “You’re going to make me miss you a whole lot more if you keep talking like that.” Soul chuckles. “They’re listening, aren’t they?”
“What?”
“Your group. That did not sound like a TV show in the background.”
They all look at each other, surprised. “Um… maybe?”
“Agh– they heard all of that?! So embarrassing…”
“They wanna meet you too. My group.”
“I thought girls weren’t allowed in your dorms.”
“Outside of the dorms. Possibly in a work environment?”
“That could work! I’m already looking forward to it.”
“They’re all weird.” Soul feels everyone’s eyes on him. “A bit. Just saying.” He hears you giggle on the other end.
“Shota?”
“Mhm?”
“I love you.”
It goes dead silent for a moment, before all the boys erupt into loud cheering and hollering, Soul having to cover his ear to hear you. “Is it too soon for me to say that?” You ask.
“Did you mean it?” He answers with another question, silence on your end for a second.
“I did.”
“Then no. If anything, I think you’re 3 years too late.”
“Have you been waiting that long for me to say it?”
“Mmm, maybe just half a year.”
“Figured.”
“Y/N?” He switches back to Japanese.
“Yes?”
“I love you too.”
Though in another language, the boys can understand the small phrase, their montage of cheers going on for longer than it should have.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
As both of you had begun to become more globally renowned, so did your relationship with each other. At first, it was viewed as the two of you being very close friends. After certain interactions and nitpickings, people began to question the nature and status of your relationship.
People noticed the ring on your finger and how it looked exactly like the ones on Soul’s. When the string to tighten his bracelet was visible from under his sleeves, some made connections to learn that it looked like yours. Neither of you took it off, even during work events.
If it couldn’t be on your wrist, you managed to use your bracelet as an anklet. It was more subtle, but you ended up having to send pictures to Shota to show proof you kept it on.
Strings were pulled. Your company met with his, and despite their strict dating laws and restrictions, they managed to work around them. You just hoped they weren’t bribed in any way.
You did end up visiting their dorm a few times after the workarounds, and Shota was always there at the door to be the first person to greet you. His physical touch became more than just holding your hand. He clung onto you; he loved hugs, he loved hugging you.
You loved his hair, playing with it and tying it up into different hairstyles. Pigtails, braids, the occasional half up ponytail. You were always fascinated at the fact every single colour looked so good on him.
The rest of the boys had to get used to your presence. Given you didn’t visit often since Soul would rather visit you, sometimes the sight of you seated with Soul on their couch was a shocker to them. Keeho got used to it the quickest.
From your perspective, you were overall cautious but at the same time didn’t care if any news of the two of you happened to get out. It would be shocking from one end, but it would follow with claims saying that it was bound to happen sometime. Considering how young you were, sometimes you had your doubts. Most of the time you forgot about those doubts.
As for someone like Shota, with his growing popularity and presence in the K-pop industry, he was worried one little leak would cause him to get kicked out of his company. Until paparazzi footage of the two of you, his hands wrapped around your waist to meet in the front as you waited at a bus stop, was posted on a website.
You both panicked. You apologized, he apologized; it was a lot of back and forth. All that came from netizens was the mutual discussion of the chance that you two might be in a relationship. The girl on billboards across Korea going out with a rising star in K-pop? Both of them soon to be international? It was unexpected.
The public was pleasantly surprised. It was a match they hadn’t expected, so much so they decided to try and guess how you two met and how your relationship started. Though you never went deeper than cute photos and interactions that just had to happen in the public eye.
Soul was asked the question a few times.
“Is Y/N a close friend of yours?”
“What’s your relationship with the model?”
The members would either glare at the interviewer or look at Soul worried. He’d always respond with:
“She’s my girlfriend.”
Which pretty much revealed the terms you two were on to every person on the internet.
The boys always took pictures and videos of the two of you as well, if you were ever to end up working together somehow. If you came to the dorm, or if they ran into you two in public. You’re certain Intak and Theo have way too many photos of him falling asleep on you or vice versa.
Soul scrolls on his phone, noticing a few posts of the two of you as he goes deeper down the rabbit hole. As he goes to rewatch his dance practice of the day, he gets a text from you.
Shota
Haku
Haku Shota
Hi (╹◡╹)
Um
I know this is gonna sound like really stupid and crazy and weird
What is it?
Is it okay if I stay at your dorm tonight
Soul looks up from his phone and the condition his shared room is in. It’s decently clean, at least his area is. Theo and Jongseob’s area is debatable.
It’s okay if not! I was just wondering
You can
Just let me ask the guys first
It’s really messy in here
He puts in his phone in his pocket before he’s able to check your next text, reluctantly getting out of bed to go and ask. He opens the door, at first sticking his head out, but then fully shuffling through the door.
“Hey Soul. I thought you were sleeping?” Keeho says, going to sit on the couch. “I need to ask you guys something.”
“What is it?” Intak adds.
“Y/N wants to come over.”
“This late?” Sometimes it surprises him how dense Intak could be sometimes. “She wants to stay over. Sleep.”
The boys all look up and around at the area, noticing the slight mess. Despite you seeing the area in such conditions most of the time when you came over, they suddenly felt obligated to do something rather than have you sleep in an environment with said mess.
“We’ll clean up. Tell her we said yes. Is everything okay?” Keeho said, getting up from the couch.
“We?”
“Get up, Jiung, and let the girl feel welcome.”
“Should I help?”
“Maybe clean our room.” Theo pats Soul on the shoulder, letting him walk back into said room.
Shota???
Are you there?
Pls respond
Sorry
I asked they said yes
I’m already on my way
We’ll talk more when I get there
I’ll text you
He can hear shuffling and commanding outside his room as he tosses the dirty laundry into their basket in the corner of the room, fixing his nightstand and somewhat making his bed since he was gonna lie down in it immediately afterwards.
By the time he gets a text, the room is mostly clean and tidy, prompting him to go and open the door for you. Your eyes meet with his, though they look dull and tired, more than they would be after a day of shoots.
“Hey.” You hide your gaze with the top of your hood. “Hi. Are you okay?”
“Let’s talk about it in your room. Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all. Come in.”
You nearly stumble over your own feet going to take your shoes off, Soul noticing there’s something more going on and it’s not just that you’re exhausted.
Not wanting to be rude, you briefly greet the rest of the boys before swiftly going into Soul’s shared room, Jongseob lying on his bed on his phone and simply acknowledging you when you enter the room, dropping your bag on the floor and plopping yourself on Soul’s bed. He sits next to you, your face covered by your hood.
He gently takes it off in case you’d stop him at the motion, seeing those dull eyes of yours, a bit pink and swollen. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” He softly asks, holding your hands in the same manner as his voice. “I’m having a few problems at home. Nothing with my parents. Extended family.”
“What happened?”
“My parents are having some maintenance and small renovations done on our house, so we’re staying in an extra room at my grandma’s for a little bit. My aunt lives in the other room.”
You inhale, trying to grasp onto your words.
“Um, my aunt is being,” you start, “being a real bitch. I know I can’t say that and it’s rude to even think so but God knows everyone in that room was pissed at her. She insulted my mom and her decision to move here and put me through modelling at such a young age.”
“She called me a wannabe, and that I wasn’t gonna get anywhere in life just posing for the camera. Called me a slut for allowing to be in shoots where I show a lot of skin when really it’s usually just a tank top and a skirt.”
“She said she felt bad for whoever I was dating that they had to be with a girl who loves showing herself off to the general public. Said I was practically naked if I showed too much skin.”
“So I don’t feel safe or comfortable in that house right now, and my parents were nice enough to let me stay someplace else. They agreed when I told them about you.”
Soul sat there, a silent rage burning through his veins. You had a completely valid reason to address her with such vulgarity. He couldn’t offer any advice in the moment, all that he could do was hug you.
“No wonder she still lives with your grandma.” He mutters into your shoulder, your hand hitting his back hard as you chuckle. “You can’t say that, Shota!”
“Who’s stopping me? I know you want to say it too.”
“Shota…”
“Fine. Only because you don’t want me to. Still, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Stay as long as you need to.” Soul’s eyes meet with Jongseob’s, their stares translating into sentences.
‘As long as she needs to?’
‘Just let her. Please.’
‘Don’t ask me, ask Keeho.’
Shota rolls his eyes at his roommate, attention back on you. “I’m gonna go change now.” You say, pulling away. “Where are you gonna sleep?”
“Um, I was thinking we could share your bed. But I can always take the couch if you don’t want to–“
“Share. Yeah– yeah, we can share.”
You smile, kissing his forehead before you leave the room. Jongseob’s eyes are on Soul the minute the door shuts. “What did she say?” He meant to ask: ‘What did she say to make her kiss you in front of me?’
“She wants to share my bed.”
“You look really nervous.”
“I’m not nervous, just surprised. And I’ve… obviously never shared it before.”
“Just sleep normally, Soul. What’s so hard about that?”
“Do I snore?”
“You don’t. Theo does. Maybe get her some earplugs.”
“I don’t have any.” His roommate shrugs his shoulders.
“Jongseob…”
“Fine.” He tosses Soul a clean, unopened pair of foam earplugs. “Are you actually that nervous?”
Soul’s ashamed to admit it. “We’re close, but we haven’t been this close before. Not at all. I have no idea if I kick in my sleep– what if I kick her?”
“You kick like once or twice but not every other second. Besides, if L/N says she’s in love with you, she’s gotta be in love with everything about you. Including your sleeping habits. She’d love you regardless of what you do in your sleep.”
You come back in sweats and a loose shirt, going to lay on the bed while Shota sat on the edge. You place your hand on top of his, prompting him to turn around and look at you. “Are you that tired?”
“Korean all of a sudden?”
“I’m getting better, aren’t I?”
“By the day, Shota.”
“To answer your question, since I was crying for 10 minutes at home, yes, I’m tired. Are you gonna just gonna sit there or are you gonna get some rest?” Soul simply responds moving you over on the bed so he can sleep on the side closest to the wall. You turn to face him, all flushed and doe eyed. “Am I too close?” Your head rests against his chest and atop his arm, probably the definition of close.
“No.”
“I can always move if–“
“Just stay here. You’ve had a rough day.”
His other arm wraps around you, his hand on your back and pushing you closer to him. “Do you think we’re too young to be this in love?” You feel his head move. “What do you mean?”
“That we aren’t old enough to make bigger decisions for ourselves? This… this is a big thing. People say that we’re really young to already be dating, and I always shrug it off, but it’s bothering me. What if they’re right?”
“Are you doubting us?”
“I’m not, I’m really not! People are just overlooking what’s going on between us and they’re making assumptions and–“
“This relationship is only between us and no one else. We don’t need to worry about what others think. We only need to worry about each other.”
“You’re getting good at switching languages smoothly.” You say, trying to sneak a bit of humor in there. “I learn from the best.” His hand once on your back now moved to your head, stroking it smoothly. “I’m really grateful for you, actually. I hope you know that.” His words melt your heart as they always do, but somehow you find them more meaningful.
“When you first helped me here. When you offered to keep in touch and look where that brought us. When you don’t get bothered every time I ask you how to say something in Korean. And you still like being with me even though sometimes I can be a bit…”
“Bothersome?”
“I was thinking annoying, but what you said sounds nicer.”
“Shota, I never thought of you as annoying. You’re teaching yourself with the help of your group getting around and the culture and its differences.”
“How did you get used to it so quickly?”
“I didn’t. I’ve been here so many times to visit but living here? Oh, it was a culture shock to me.”
“So I’m really not alone in this?”
“You were never alone, Haku.”
You called him by his first name.
Your eyes meet at your mention of it, Shota looking at you with such a pure, joy filled gaze that was silent behind his irises. It was moments like this where you got to admire his beauty, how pretty he was, his features and how they worked so well together.
You’re drawn to him. So much so that you end up giving him a soft, gentle kiss on the lips.
As much as it was a moment of euphoria, the moment you pulled away, you immediately got flustered and embarrassed, turning around since you weren’t able to face him. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have–“ And seeing Jongseob on the other bed? He heard a lot and probably saw a lot which made the whole thing more embarrassing for you.
You kick your feet slightly, hiding your face in your hands and just then feeling how hot your it was in the moment. Suddenly, you feel his arms wrap around your waist like they did in the photos of you two at that bus stop, bringing you closer into him. “I liked it. It was my first.” He mutters, voice slightly muffled.
“It was my first too.” You reply, hands off your face and turning around to bury it in his shoulder, still embarrassed to face him. You wrap an arm around him as to hug him loosely. “I love you, Haku.” You raise your head to bump your nose against his. He giggles, hugging you tighter.
“I love you more, Y/N.”
“Even more than your games?”
“More than my games and my rings. Get some rest now.”
You want to kiss him again in that moment, but he does it for you. Short and chaste, your lips meet long enough to feel each other’s connection, but short enough that it doesn’t escalate.
“At this point, can you two just sleep already? I’d rather you hug and spoon than hear you kiss all evening.” Jongseob sneers, almost forgetting he was even in the room. Soul feels you giggle into his shoulder, having you so close being the least of his worries. In fact, it was something he cherished.
Soul never let you out of his hold, and you never let him out of his.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
☀️: guys look at this
☀️: [Two images attached]
🐿️: OMG
🐿️: THEY’RE SO CUTE
🐿️: THEY’RE LIKE CUDDLING AIDHSIDNW
🐿️: IM SAVING THESE THANK YOU VERY MUCH
🐺: theo why are you taking pictures of them while they’re sleeping 🤨
🐺: that’s a little bit weird
☀️: ok but they’re cute
☀️: you’d do it too
🐺: tbh i would
🐯: they kissed
🐺: HUHH???
🐿️: SJAODJEBDIEBDK
🐶: wait actually
🐿️: where did you come from
🐶: i was disinterested until i saw jongseob’s text
🐺: are we talking like a kiss on the cheek or forehead cuz they do that a lot
🐯: lips
🐿️: OH MY GOD WHAT
🐺: WAIT ACTUALLY
🐺: SOUL GOT HIS FIRST KISS
🐶: keeho u probably havent kissed anyone why r u talking
🐺: shut up
☀️: yeah i walked in on them
🐯: they didnt make out or anything tho i think they’re both disgusted by the idea of it
🐺: thank god
🐶: you actually thought they were gonna make out or something just from the word ‘kiss’??
🐺: hey you can never be too careful
🐿️: i understood half of what they were saying until they switched back to japanese ugh i could hear them through the wall
🐯: are the walls actually that thin
🐿️: i hear you scream at your phone every time u watch something scary
🐯: okay anyways they were probably flirting with each other
🐯: i was literally there the whole time
🍟: (*^◯^*)
🐶: oh shit
🐺: morning soul!!
🐿️: why aren’t you just talking to each other instead of texting in the group chat you literally share a room
🍟: y/n is sleeping (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ
☀️: she actually is do u guys want proof
🐺: stop taking pictures of people in their sleep theo ur weird for that
🍟: [One image attached]
☀️: and when soul does it ur not gonna say anything
🐺: soul dont do that but yall r cute okay
☀️: this is so unfair
🐯: i have a picture of him taking that picture
🐺: what
🐶: this is so confusing
🐯: [One image attached]
🐿️: trippy @—@
🐺: soul how is she not waking up while you’re texting us
🍟: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🍟: she is so pretty (//∇//)
🐿️: UGH EILFIWRNOAN
🐶: you are so down bad its crazy
🐺: jiung is literally squealing into his pillow rn
🐯: yeah we can hear
☀️: fr tho u guys r cute
🐶: soul pulls
🍟: (・・?)
🐺: it’s okay soul you’ll figure out what that means eventually
☀️: just tell him what’s stopping you
🐺: he spends a lot of time on the internet he’ll see it one way or another
🍟: jongseob i never gave her the earplugs u can have them back
🐶: is it cuz theo snores cuz honestly thats understandable
☀️: i do not snore that loud okay
🐯: my bed is right next to yours so that makes it 10 times louder
🐯: also just leave them on the nightstand soul ill take them back thanks
🐺: is someone gonna get up or are we just gonna keep texting here
☀️: soul would but he’s too busy holding his gf rn
🐯: do u guys want more photos
🐿️: yes
🐺: jongseob and theo you two need to stop taking pictures of y/n while she’s sleeping she’s gonna think you guys are creepy
☀️: you never said no
🐺: and i never said yes
🐯: soul is shielding her face in some of them tho at least its covered
🐿️: just send them
🍟: you can send them jongseob (^^)
🐯: see even soul says we can
🍟: wanna show how pretty y/n is
🐿️: oh my god you guys are so dsibwsidhsi
🐺: jiung is freaking out
🐶: soul i think u killed him
☀️: breaking up at this point would just end the world
☀️: treat her well soul
🐶: yeah you’ve got a good one
🍟: im too in love to let go (*´∀`*)
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
and i am but a man, orbiting ‘round your sun. and it’s you that makes my day, after day. 🎧
520 notes · View notes
sxtvrns · 1 year
Text
rip moonbin. ive only ever heard of astro, but ik that it hurts to lose another artist in the industry. fly high.
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sxtvrns · 1 year
Text
unspoken
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🎶 now playing: hi - laufey
P: Ryōhei Arisu x Fem!Reader
S: You couldn’t leave the poor man laying on the street. He couldn’t help falling for the girl who was always by his side.
W: aib spoilers, cursing, alludes to sexual content, beach arc, arisu a bit ooc (downbad), mentions of death, violence
N: Y/N is your first name, L/N is your last name. this has been sitting in my drafts for too long also i havent even finished the series yet i left off on s2 ep5 but i practically know the rest of the plot cuz i got fuckin spoiled… i started this like months ago now im just trying to make sense of the plot anyways hot emo gamer nerd man woopwoop sexy ahh mf i love kento yamazaki
please interact if you enjoy!
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Yuzu walks beside you with the rabbit she just hunted in a plastic bag, a confident strut in her step. “We should get your clothes washed. Then again, I don’t know if you have any other clothes to wear.” She says, noticing the stains and dirt on your attire from previous games. You point to a shopping mall down the street you just walked.
She sighs. “I guess you could loot the place. Then we can wash your clothes.” You begin to get excited until she puts a hand on your shoulder. “You’ll go by yourself, though. You know the way back by heart.” You freeze up, complying with her terms considering that she was right. It wasn’t like you needed someone to nanny you 24/7, you were just scared of the thought that something could happen while Yuzu didn’t know.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You’re strong and have the ears of a bat.” She pats your shoulder, the compliment you found strange but accepted anyways. You notice a lump of clothes and a hand on the street, noticing it’s another person after approaching closer.
You jog over to them, sitting on your knees in order to get a good look at the stranger’s face. You move his hand, his arm ending up on your legs. You end up nearly laying down with him while trying to get your head lined up with his, your fingers moving his hair out of the way to see his face more clearly.
His face and hands are tainted and covered in dirt and dust, including his clothes and shoes. His eyes are half open, yet they fully notice you when Yuzu calls your name. “Y/N! What are you doing?” She begins to walk over, prompting you to turn back to the man. You stutter out a few words when you realize he notices you there. “…you… okay?”
He’s alive, that’s for sure. You can hear his soft breathing, and his arm tensed up. “I wanna die here.” He softly speaks, the sudden request surprising you before you can say anything. Yuzu catches up, standing behind you, her shadow looming over the man. She watches you play with the man’s fingers, observing the cuts and dirt in the crevices of the skin and under his nails.
“Is he alive?” She asks. You nod, wondering what to do. You don’t want to leave him there, but you knew that Yuzu wouldn’t just let someone into your bunker unless she was the one to bring them in. This guy seemed different, though. What had he gone through in order for him to want to starve himself on the street? “We have to go. It’s gonna get dark soon.”
You let the man’s hand rest on the ground as you get up, looking behind you occasionally to see his figure slowly turn into a small speck the further you walk away. “Why’d you stop for him? You wouldn’t do that for anyone else.” She was right, but you didn’t know if she’d believe your answer. “He feels guilty.” Those were the words you were looking for.
“Even so, wouldn’t anyone be full of guilt to lay on the road like that?”
You point at him. “Wants to die.”
Yuzu just nods as her head slowly turns to face the road in front of her.
“Fine then. We’ll just leave him.” You want to protest, but can’t seem to say anything. To Yuzu, you just can’t get the words out at all. She was so strong; her presence alone intimidated you. You always watched yourself around her, considering that you had to learn from her and you didn’t want to humiliate yourself.
You’ve always had a hard time talking to people. Was it the fact you were bullied for merely speaking, raising a hand up to answer in class, to have a normal conversation with anyone? Yes. Slowly, day after day, you stopped talking. No one noticed, anyways, so it didn’t matter. You’ve been to therapy for it, but when you tried to talk, it was hard to put how you felt into words.
The sentences formed, but you couldn’t say anything out loud.
You usually spoke in smaller sentences, nothing detailed but enough for others to understand, which wasn’t useful living in a world where detail is key. If you were given the chance, you’d simply point and finish your sentence from there. Yuzu’s trying to help you through it, but she states that going out to get paper is a waste of time. She’s smart enough to put the pieces together through your phrases, figuring out why you rarely spoke.
“You’ll go out tomorrow. We’re running low on fuel for the gas stove and we need batteries. You can get anything else you need while you’re there.” She says, not really giving you much of a choice. It’ll be fine, right? Low chance of you ever running into someone while you’re… alone.
You point to your shirt with small stains on it. “New clothes.” Yuzu also looks at your shirt, sighing. “You can get new clothes, too. Speaking of which, can you also get soap?” You try to visualize what it would look like to carry all those things in your hands. “Too much. I’ll drop it.” You say, holding your arms out in front of you. “I can get you a bag.”
You hated how fragile plastic bags were, how easily they’d tear and rip, especially the handles. If something was too heavy, the pressure would go onto your fingers, and it hurts more than it looks. You shake your head no, trailing behind Yuzu. “Geez, you’re so stubborn. Might as well get a reusable bag while you’re at it.”
The list of things never ends.
“I can do… two trips.” You hold up two fingers, your friend letting out a huff. “If that’s alright with you, I suppose. Our visas are still good for a few more days, then we’ll have to play another game. So be careful tomorrow; don’t get hurt.” Yuzu warns. You nod profusely, her patting your back.
The first trip there you’d gotten the gas and batteries and a few extra flashlights just in case, snagging a reusable bag to make the trip easier. You always snagged reusable bags, but for some reason they always went missing more often than Yuzu’s plastic ones.
On the way back, when you didn’t stare at the sky or the garbage on the street, you noticed the guy still laying on the street in nearly the exact same position. You walked over carefully, kneeling down again and moving his hair out of his face. He was still breathing, but was sleeping soundly on the cement. The air that exhaled through his nose brushed against your arm, startling you a bit, but you stopped yourself from nearly flinching too hard and waking him up.
That day, you left him be.
The next day, it rained.
Your bag had a zipper, so thank god that your new clothes didn’t get soaked that day. Even with your umbrella, the wind would’ve blown the rain onto your shirts and bottoms. You nearly ran home, until the sight of the same man still laying on the street in the pouring rain stops you. It could just be the horrible conditions, or the thought of his clothes getting drenched bothering you so much, but you run over and hold the umbrella above both your heads.
Your first thought was to carry him bridal style, but then you’d have to ditch the umbrella, which you obviously weren’t gonna do. Instead, you tap his shoulder, and when he doesn’t respond, you tap his cheek. He blinks a few times, and that’s all you need to help him up and support him with his arm wrapped around your shoulder. He still slouches, head down, but as long as he didn’t fall asleep on the way there, he’d be fine.
You slide open the warehouse curtain, Yuzu gawking at the sight of you supporting another person. “Close it.” You tell her. She gets up and runs past you, you remembering you had to climb a ladder to get up. Yuzu climbs up, helping you carry him to the elevated surface, letting you set the man down on your old cardboard bed. You take off his jacket, setting it aside while you take your shirt off and dry him as best you can with it. Even while you’re doing this, he doesn’t seem to wake up. His eyes remain half open the entire time until he’s fully laid down, them closing shut.
You zip up your outer jacket, being met with Yuzu looming over you. You begin to open the bag with excitement before she drags you to the opposite side of the site. “What were you thinking? Bringing him here?”
“3 days. He slept on the street for 3 days.”
“Okay, but still. You need to be careful.”
“He was giving up. I didn’t like that.”
“So what if you didn’t like that? If he wants to die, he’ll die.”
“I’ve seen death before. He will regret it.” Your words come together slowly, yet you still feel frustrated as you couldn’t say it how you wanted to. “You’ve been like him before. You should understand.” You add, walking back to the unconscious man. You lay down beside him, staring at his face.
He’s ridden with dirt and dust, and he smelled of it too, with a hint of blood and the tiniest smidge of something botanical. His clothes were soaked and they were soaking the cardboard beneath him. There was probably still some lying around this place anyways.
The first time you saw him on the street, he looked familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Now that he’s in your base, giving you the ability to stare at him for the next 10 minutes, you realize that this was the man that saved you in his first game that he played.
Yuzu looks at you, laying on the bare concrete ground after you sacrificed your former makeshift cardboard mattress for the stranger that laid next to you. “Y/N.” You don’t move, laying still beside the man. She sees your fingers brush his hair out of his eyes, his face fully visible. “I’m sorry. Come help with dinner.” You shift, then finally get up and join her, looming over her workspace and watching her prepare rice.
“I got an extra knife for you.” She hands you a smaller knife and a cutting board, along with some vegetables that looked like they were just washed. You place them down on the cutting board, frozen and lost in space. “You don’t want him to starve, do you?” Yuzu speaks up, snapping you out of it as you begin to help.
“You were right.” She says, the lack of context clues only making you confused. “I was like him. I did nothing. I felt like dying. But I’m here now.” She suddenly stops what she’s doing, looking at you. “I’m sorry. You did something good, but I still don’t trust him.” You nod.
You understood why she was skeptical of him. Something in you just couldn’t bring yourself to leave him behind.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Are you really just gonna stay with him until he wakes up?”
You sat down by the man a while ago, noticing he turned and laid face up while you were making food with Yuzu. She’s currently eating at your one-person makeshift table, staring at you from there. You shrug, eating from your own smaller canister. The bowls you found came in packs of four, which was convenient if he was going to wake up and eat.
It’s nothing but the light of the lamp on the desk and the skylight above that helps you see throughout your small living space. Yuzu is about to finish her food while you sit by the stranger, getting up to put your bowl away after finishing your food.
“He’s awake.” Yuzu says, your eyes shifting to the sight of him blinking. You get a clean spoon and cup and scoop a serving into the bowl you used, pouring water into the cup. His eyes meet yours, freezing you in place for a moment before you remembered who the food in your hands was for. You set the bowl and cup down next to him before sitting down by him again. His eyes follow you the entire time.
“Why did you save me?” He asks. You say nothing but stare at him, his eyes focused on the ceiling now. “You want to live.” You reply. He merely scoffs with a sigh. “But I don’t deserve to live anymore.” Your heart aches as he begins to cry, but as he speaks, you realize you’ve been in his shoes before.
“We know how you feel.” You say, your hand tucking his hair behind his ear. “How you feel… we have felt it before.” You look over at Yuzu, and she smiles with a nod, meaning you’ve explained it better. “I saw my mom die while I lived. After that, I tried to die. I saw death for a second, but survived. Death isn’t pretty. It is darkness. It is nothing.” Yuzu stares at you with wide eyes as you try to speak. Your hand trembles and pauses while your fingers brush through his hair. “Your friends want you to live, so live. You will die sometime; a game, your visa, but don’t force it. For now, eat while you are still alive.”
He stares at you, who sits in front of him with her fingers brushing his hair. He simply lays there, staring at the bowl of food. “Y/N, just let him be. He’ll eat it when he needs to.” Yuzu says, your hand reluctantly moving away from his head. You turn off the lights before joining her in the tent, laying next to her. Meanwhile, the man lays on the cardboard, exhausted, but wondering what you meant by all that and why you played with his hair.
He distinctly remembers you, getting on your knees to check him on the road. You carried him when taking him to the warehouse, and he could’ve sworn he’s seen you in a game before. What did you mean when you said that you’ve seen death? Did you reincarnate or something?
He was too tired to think about it.
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You wake up, Yuzu not beside you and light shining through the fabric of the tent, meaning she’d gotten up earlier than you to warm up. You had less of an athletic prowess than Yuzu did, so you normally stayed behind whenever she went for her morning jog.
Leaving the tent, you first notice the empty bowl that held only a seed by the man’s head. With the sunlight shining bright through the windows, you wonder if he is awake or not. “Wake up. We’re playing today.” You say, the man lying still, nearly convincing you he was still asleep. You fill up a water bottle, waiting for him to respond but getting nothing. “Do you remember the one game?” You ask, knowing he won’t respond.
“Live or Die.” The name brings back painful memories of his friends, one of them coming out with a burnt leg. “You saved me there. I would have… died at the one door.”
“One door?”
“The door after the girl died.”
“The second one?” That’s the word you were looking for. You nod. “I didn’t wanna die then. I didn’t want anyone to end up like the high schooler.” He adds. You sit down in the same spot again. You take one of his hands, holding it, your fingers gently playing with his palm. “You saved Yuzu. She would not be alive if you did not scream.”
“Were you there?” He asks. You shake your head. “She told me.” You respond with a sigh. “I… don’t want you to die. Let us save you.” You loosen your grip nearly to the point where you let go of his hand. He slowly but surely sits up, back against the boxes. He takes a good look at you, your hair tucked behind your ears and eyes moving like they’re looking for something.
“Why do you talk like that?” His full stare intimidates you, given this is the first time you’ve ever seen his eyes when they aren’t closed or covered by his hair. You tilt your head, confused. “Your sentences seem… broken.”
You play with your fingers, staring at his hand and wish you were playing with it. “It is hard for me to talk. I was laughed at. Words are in my head… but they don’t come out.” You summarize, hoping he’d understand. He nods slightly, noticing your friend come back from who knows where. She tosses something up before climbing the ladder. “I got a tent for him. But no mattress yet. How long have you been awake? Did you stretch yet?”
You shake your head, noticing Yuzu’s eyes drifting over to the man. “Come with us?” You ask, holding your hand out for him to take. He accepts, being pulled up onto his feet. “Okay?” You check in while he nods. You offer him some water, nearly finishing your whole bottle. You take him by the wrist, descending down the ladder and pulling him with you to the gate.
“Let’s go.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Your fingers hold onto the sleeve of the man’s jacket gently as you walk into the highway tunnel. In his first game, he never introduced himself to you, and you never saw his name on his phone screen, though you remembered his friends constantly screaming his name after each door. He later introduced himself as ‘Arisu’, Yuzu seeming to know his name already before you did.
The walk is long to the registration, Yuzu sighting a bus heavily graffitied a bit in. Your hand grips onto his arm, Arisu noticing. “Are you okay?” He asks. “Nervous. Always nervous… for new games.” You explain, hoping he’d understand.
You had a bad habit of holding onto people before entering registration. Before you met Yuzu, everyone you accidentally latched onto cursed at you, or shook you off their arm, which was understandable. No one likes a stranger randomly holding onto their arm out of nowhere. You just hated the fact it was your first instinct. When Yuzu came along, she was the first person to listen—to understand.
But Arisu was content with it. He didn’t swat you off, or stare at you weirdly. He simply let you be, holding onto his arm like a koala hugging a branch. You worried that your grip was too tight or that he could feel you shake, but he didn’t seem to react, so those worries went away eventually. You clung onto him the moment you stepped into the bus, taking one of the phones before noticing there were three other guys seated in the back.
They’ve played their last few games together, however, one of them was visibly injured. In a world like this, injury holds you back from everything, which puts you at risk of death. You felt sympathy for the man, but also felt intimidated by him and his friends given that they were staring at the three of you intently.
Arisu picks up his phone, looking at the names of the participants, landing on yours.
L/N Y/N
“Ryō…hei?” You stutter, looking at your phone. Arisu looks down at you, a bit confused. “Y/N calls people by their first name. Sometimes.” Yuzu explains, which cleared some things up, but it didn’t help a whole bunch. “Can I call you that?” You ask. “Can you call me Ryō?” He restates your question, being followed by an eager nod from you. He simply shrugs and nods, and you’re glad he doesn’t mind.
One of the men huffs. “Your girlfriend?” He gestures to you, making you let go of Ryō’s sleeve and hide behind him. He shakes his head. “We just met today. Yesterday. A previous game.” His idiocy makes Yuzu shake her head while you try to hold in your laughs from behind. However, the man doesn’t seem all too convinced. “Whatever you say.”
The phone chime sounds, the robotic voice drawing attention to them.
Registration is now closed. The game is about to commence.
Difficulty: Four of Clubs
This was a team game. Your favourite kind.
There are a total of six participants.
Game: Distance
Rule: Endure the trial while striving for the goal within the time limit.
Clear condition: Safely attain the goal.
The game will now commence. 120 minutes remaining.
You look out the driver’s window, the tunnel seeming like it goes on forever. Your eyes are drawn to the dashboard of the bus, specifically the fuel. “It’s empty. Can’t drive.” You say. “Looks like we’ll have to run.” Yuzu says, Ryō’s eyes landing on the injured man in the back. “What about Takuma?”
You’re lost in thought for a moment, not wanting to die but also not wanting to leave the man behind. “All of you, run. I’ll stay with Takuma.” Yuzu and Ryō look at you as if you’ve said something stupid. “What? Y/N, we have to run.”
“We will try to do something. If I die, I die. I am okay with that. I don’t want to leave ‘Kuma alone. I will take care of him.” Yuzu suddenly hugs you, which catches you off guard. She pulls away, her face with a trace of disdain as she walks off, along with the two men that sat in the back. Before Ryō can leave, you grab his hand. Your thumbs rest in his palm before you warn him. “Don’t worry. We will be okay. You have to be careful.” He squeezes your hand, visibly doubtful as he walks off the bus to join the other three outside.
You watch from the window as they all run off, seemingly shrinking as they get farther away. You sit in the back, closer to the man. “Kuma? Is that your name for me?” He asks lazily, relaxing against his seat. “Yeah. Sorry.” You suddenly become timid at the sound of him laughing. “Don’t be. It’s cute.”
“Are you… giving up?” You ask, wondering how he’s so unfazed. “I am still worried. But even though we aren’t running, I feel as though we’ve already won.” He looks up at you and your solemn face. “We can’t do anything about it now, can we? I know you wanted to help me, but is there really anything we can do?”
“I don’t want to die. I know you don’t either. But I’m injured, and the only thing that can heal that is time. There isn’t enough time in this game to go away. So I understand what you’re saying. If we die, we die.” He waits for you to say something, looking at you when you stay silent. “What’s on your mind?”
“The… difficulty… is low. Why are they running so far? It shouldn’t be that far if it is only Four of Clubs.”
Kuma puts together what you’re trying to say, the look of realization on his face. “You’re right. But then, where is the goal?” You notice the graffiti reaching the bottoms of the windows, remembering how the bus was covered in it. You get up, leaving the bus, fingers brushing against the outside walls. There was nothing but casual graffiti gibberish that you never understood on the side with the door.
The other side, however, had a word written big and in blue.
GOAL
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Usagi’s water bottle empties after she offers it to the three men, who finish it in a heartbeat. She’s stopped by Arisu, who held onto her shoulder for a brief moment to get her attention. “Your friend… she confuses me. Why does she do these things?” Usagi’s automatically suspicious of Arisu, viewing his question as an insult. “What do you mean?”
“She’s very physical with my hair, my arm, my hands. No one does that to someone they just meet.” Usagi scoffs. “She cares. She’s worried about you. She’s worried about everyone. That’s why she offered to stay back with Takuma. When she held you back in the bus, she was worried about you, knowing that you’re still grieving. Y/N is a physical person in general, violent or affectionate. The only reason she kept going with it is because you hadn’t pushed her away. If you want her to stop, tell her.”
He didn’t want you to stop. Not really want, but more like he didn’t mind the gesture. He wasn’t bothered by it; really, he enjoyed it in the moment. It was comforting— something he hadn’t felt ever since his first game. Usagi laughs. “You should’ve seen her during a team game. She annihilated everybody, then went back to being all shy at the end.”
Arisu tries to imagine it, the thought of you killing people you didn’t know in order to survive. The more he tried, the more he wanted to push the thought out of his mind. The girl that gets clingy and nervous before games, the girl who convinced him to live, taking the lives of total strangers without hesitation? Honestly, he didn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it.
He realizes that Usagi’s already began running from the trial, forcing himself to catch up with her, along with the other two men.
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You’re pacing frantically down the walkway of the bus, forgetting that Kuma was sitting at the end of it. “L/N, what’s wrong?” His voice stops you, remembering you hadn’t told him yet. You looked like an idiot panicking over a reason he didn’t know. “The goal. We already won.”
“What?”
“They should have stayed. This is the goal. We are safe, they are not.” Kuma looks at you in disbelief, eyes wide. “Really? So… we’d survive?” You nod, looking at the graffiti on the window. “We have to do something! They’ve all ran and they need to get back here.”
You sigh, overwhelmed with emptiness. “We can’t.” You want to cry, but the tears aren’t there to flow. “What? What do you mean, we can’t?”
“They are too far. I can’t get them. Not enough time.” You say, sitting down next to him. His face is ridden with tears; he’s been crying all this time and you hadn’t noticed. You hug him, patting his head. You’re sure he’s confused as to why you’re doing this, but really it’s because you wish someone would comfort you the same way.
Suddenly, you hear footsteps, your head lifting up. “What happened?” Kuma sniffles. You get up, running to the door. “Someone is here.” You answer, him looking out the window. You step out of the bus, seeing someone running with a motorbike towards the bus. “L/N!” He calls, his messy, disheveled hair coming into a better view.
“Ryō!” You call, looking at the window where Kuma is looking out of, seeing that he noticed the bike too. Ryō runs over with the bike, both him and the hunk of metal leaning against the bus. You hug him, feeling a sense of relief that he would also survive. But then again, what about Yuzu?
“The bike,” he pants, “can fuel the bus. There’s diesel in here to fill the bus. We can drive and get Usagi and Yamane back.” You look at the bike, inspecting the shiny metal and the tank, hearing fuel sloshing around inside. You didn’t understand much about motorbikes or vehicles in general, but given that Ryō ran all the way back here with the bike convinced you that he knew what he was doing.
You explained everything to him, seeing the drive in his eyes to get Yamane and Usagi back grow in his gaze. Ryō stood behind you, Kuma in the driver’s seat. The voice on your phone reminds you, 5 minutes left. You hear a loud rumbling, telling Kuma to step on the gas. Tell is an understatement– you screamed at him.
He roughly avoided the cars on the highway street, ramming through the darker section where you see a body lay on the ground next to an animal you can’t define. As Kuma continues driving, you open the door, holding onto the bars and peeking your head out the window. You hear faint panting from a distance, the rumbling getting louder.
The sight of Yuzu running for her life from a flood of water chasing after her comes into view. You hold out your hand, screaming her name. Kuma’s foot slams on the pedal, speeding towards her. The water barely touches Yuzu’s heels as you grab her hand, pulling her into the bus and closing the door before the water could flood in.
And for a few moments, it’s dark.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
A drop of water falls on your face. Then another, then another. You think of getting up, until you noticed you were resting on Ryō’s chest.
Thank god you survived, but what is life if you woke up in the most awkward situation ever?
Yuzu laid next to you, and Kuma stayed in his own little area in the driver’s corner. You shake Yuzu, forcing her awake along with Ryō. He then proceeds to wake up Kuma, opening the door above all of you since he was the tallest one there. He struggles, but manages to climb out first, Yuzu following, then you, then all three of you making an effort to pull Kuma out of the door.
“The bus is the goal. There was no point in running.” All of you stare down at the word ‘GOAL’, painted in bright blue on the side of the bus you were standing on. Yuzu jumps down first, followed by you, Ryō, then Kuma. Ryō’s hand still clasps onto yours even after he helped you jumped down, bidding Kuma a regretful goodbye in hopes of seeing him again somehow.
Trying to be completely realistic, you’d probably never see him again, and that alone made it more sad.
He doesn’t seem to notice that he’s holding your hand, squeezing it every once in a while, specifically when you see him noticeably about to cry. “Y/N, let go of him. Unless you asked first.” Yuzu notices, making you embarrassed and pull your hand away. “I actually did it first. Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t notice. L/N. I meant L/N.” Ryō apologizes, but you shake your head, assuring him that it was okay.
Deep inside, you wished he didn’t let go.
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Yuzu had gone out for the next few days— sometimes you tagged along with her if you woke up early enough that she’d already left. You both had gotten intel on something called The Beach, and were planning to pack up and leave eventually to scour. She’s been going out to gather supplies for hunting and for shelter, including refills of water.
When you woke up to see Yuzu wasn’t laying next to you, you found solace with Ryō. He continued to talk about his friends, how they’d gotten here and how he witnessed them sacrifice themselves just for him to survive, knowing that they’d have to pick someone to live. He never understood why, and that is what he explained to you.
The entire time, your head rested on this shoulder, your hand playing with his own. “There are gaps in your heart you that cannot fill. That is what I’ve learned in this world.” You pause, piecing together a sentence in your head. “There is no time for grief. There is no time for anything.” You rest your hand on top of his with a sigh. “Do not let grief affect your need to win in games. You must focus, or you will break the last promise your friends made to you.”
“Hard for you to talk, huh?” He jokes, his shoulders lifting as he laughs, relaxing after. “How come you do all this?” You look at him, confused. “Like… this,” He shakes his hand that rests underneath yours. “And this.” He lifts the shoulder where your head rests. “You’re always next to me. Girls are never this close with me.”
You scoff, laughing, your fingers brushing over the back of his hand for a moment. “I wish someone cared for me like this. After my mom died.” There’s definitely a lack of closure in that sentence, which made the air awkward. “I want to… give you what I did not have. I hope you don’t mind. I can stop if you want.”
“No, it’s okay. I really don’t mind. Thank you. It’s just… I guess I never had anyone comfort me like this either.” Comfort. That’s the word. You mutter it quietly to yourself, remembering what it meant. You hadn’t felt it in a while as well, only feeling most comfortable whenever you stayed with Yuzu. Eventually, you found comfort in Ryō as well.
You traced patterns on Ryō’s hand, sometimes even spelling out words. It became a hobby of yours, and sometimes he’d try to guess what you were writing as well. “B…” He started, feeling the letters on his hand. “E, A, C, H…” He looked up at you with wonder in his eyes, being able to see something past his dark irises. “The Beach?” He says it as if it was something glorified. You nod, him grabbing your wrists. “What is the Beach? Do you know? Have you been there?” You’re overwhelmed by the questions he asks you, trying to process all of them at once.
“No. I heard another person talk about the Beach. I told Yuzu. Then she heard someone talk about it too. We want to know what it is.” You explain. Something lights up in Ryō’s head, the idea being explained to you. “Some people I’ve seen wore wristbands. They had numbers on them.”
“Follow. We will follow them.” You add, Ryō nodding eagerly.
“We’ll start looking. For supplies, then we’ll search at night. You can convince Usagi, can’t you?” You nod, only half sure of it. You felt that Ryō had a better chance of convincing her for some odd reason. Yuzu still intimidated Ryō— you could tell. He’d always seem… nervous around her.
Your hands are clasped together, his own covering them with a soft grip. “Don’t worry. We’ll make it out. We’ll stick together.”
That was a week ago.
Meanwhile Yuzu offered to take the solo tent as you were sleeping in a park during your period of locating the Beach. Her and Ryō bickered about it until she finally won (like usual), meaning that he’d have to sleep in the same tent as you.
Beside you.
You totally weren’t freaking out over it. Why was Yuzu so persistent to sleep alone anyways?
Except Ryō offered to sleep outside, in the grass, where all the bugs flew around. You heard slaps from outside repeatedly, trying to fall asleep. The thing with heightened hearing was that you heard everything. Almost everything. You heard the bugs buzz outside, you heard the soft pants of Ryō every time he slapped himself. It didn’t take you long to be so bothered by it, nearly breaking the zipper to open the tent.
“Come inside. Stop slapping your face.” You say sternly, visibly bothered. Ryō pauses for a second, kicking his shoes off before scrambling inside and zipping the tent shut. He looks at you, laying down normally, just realizing how close the two of you would be. You look back at him taking a deep breath after simply patting the spot beside you.
He lays down slowly, holding his breath, shoulders tense and tight. “Calm down. It’s only me.” You mutter, turning towards him. Your nose nudges his upper arm, your hand resting on top of his. You can hear his heart racing, yet he still didn’t listen to you. “Ryō. You’re okay.” You reassure, hearing him exhale and feeling his shoulders relax. Your eyes flutter shut in an attempt to fall asleep. His arm didn’t move, but you felt the tips of his fingers touch yours.
Just before you drift off, you feel his hand hold onto yours, his touch soft and comforting.
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This wasn't part of the plan.
You were being restrained by two men in bathing suits, being dragged into a large room where a bunch of people were standing in a circle. You tried to flail, but their grip on you was too strong. You first catch sight of Yuzu and Ryō, who are relieved to see that you were okay. "Y/N!"
“Ah, you three must know each other.” The man in front of you says, his orange robe blocking your vision. All your cards are laid out on the table, but it’d be too risky to grab them with two people guarding them with firearms.
From what the man said, there were three rules. You must wear a swimsuit, since firearms and/or weapons could not be concealed. Enjoy your life as much as you can, whether that be through doing drugs, having sex, or drowning yourself in alcohol. Lastly, death to the traitors, meaning the three of you didn’t have a choice but to accept if you wanted to live.
“L/N, Usagi… I’m sorry… for getting you involved.”You hear Ryō whisper from behind, your head slowly dropping, body language displaying that it was okay. “Don’t apologize. We were in this together.”
Judging from the man’s laugh, who you later learned was nicknamed ‘Hatter’, you were now a part of The Beach, like little pawns designed to win games that didn’t fully guarantee the benefit of being able to leave the hellish world.
You were sent into a room with one of the executives and Yuzu, being showed an array of swimsuits; one pieces, two pieces, bikinis, swim shorts, they had all kinds. Both of you darted for the same set, long shorts and a simple bra top, but let your friend have hands on it first, finding another one, black with swirls of grey on it, the top more cropped and shorter bottoms. You look at the executive, her arms crossed and sunglasses on, seeing her nod.
Before you leave, both you and Yuzu snagged an extra garment, a jacket and a thin robe, running into Ryō by the pool. His eyes land on both of you, but he’s drawn to you in particular, the way your robe is meant to cover but doesn’t do that at all considering it’s see through. Your chest, your waist, your thighs– he was being a pervert. He snapped out of it, looking away immediately.
And you walk over all innocent, checking your wristband in sync with Usagi, your own eyes trailing over his figure. He mostly looked the same, yet he seemed more stiff than usual. People had eyes on you, everyone you looked, there were stares coming from the bar, the poolside, even the beach chairs.
Your hand naturally drifts over to Ryō’s, toying with his fingers to distract you. He must have noticed something more, instead holding your hand fully with a tight grip. He doesn’t let go of you the whole day, afraid he’d lose you in the crowds.
The only time he let go was when everyone was separated into groups for individual games. The woman who was with you in the dressing room had Ryō following her, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart crack a little. Your eyes meet for a brief moment before he leaves, and he swears he can see the light in your eyes dim for a moment.
You managed to come back alive, and so did Yuzu, yet Ryō was nowhere to be found. As you walked down the never ending halls of the large resort, she brings up a topic you haven’t discussed once in your life.
“You like him, don’t you?”
At first, you’re confused as to who him is, then remember that there was only one him in the first place.
“Ryō?”
“You’ve been close with him. Touchy.” You nod, agreeing with her points. “You’ve always been that way, but there’s something… different. Different when it comes to Arisu.”
Your head tilts slightly, wondering how that could be. “You’re comfortable with him. You don’t second guess and always go for it. I’ve seen the way your face goes red when he accepts your gesture. The way you smile when he leans closer to you to make your habits of playing with his fingers more discreet. When he smiles at you, and you’re left lovestruck with your mouth hanging open.”
“Of course I like Ryō. He is my friend.”
“Not that like…” Yuzu searches for the words in her head, trying to put them together in a way you’d understand, but deciding to be straightforward. “You like him in a way you want to kiss him.”
You heat up from that thought alone. Kissing your friend? You weren’t sure if you were blushing from the thought of you liking it or the thought that it was embarrassing. “I haven’t… kissed anyone.” Yuzu looks around, dragging you into an empty hotel room and locking the door, letting you sit on the bed.
“Have there been times where you think of… inappropriate things involving him?”
“Sex?”
“…Sure. Sex thoughts.”
You sit there for a moment, embarrassed that you have thought about such dirty things. But Yuzu was right there, waiting for an answer, and you couldn’t get out of it despite having the choice to not say anything.
“His hands.”
“What about his hands?”
The image replays in your head like a movie. “On my waist, my hips, my thighs…” You list, unable to make eye contact with your friend. “His fingers…” You look down between your legs, not wanting to go into detail. “His lips.” Your hand brushes over your chest briefly before moving it back to your side.
“Aren’t you a virgin?”
“I know things. I’ve seen things.”
“But do you like Arisu for who he is? That’s the big question. Because if you don’t, I think you’ll hurt him.”
“I’ve always liked his personality. There are… things we… keep between ourselves that others don’t know about. I really like him, I do. It feels wrong to think such… dirty things about him. I can’t help it.” Yuzu sits down next to you, feeling a dip in the mattress on your left. “I ran into Kuina while walking around the club when you two stayed by the bar. She said to live life while I still could. And she mentioned you.”
“Me?”
“Even though we’re newcomers, she noticed you and Arisu. Even she could see the tension, despite never knowing what was going on between you two.” She holds your hands gently, one hand under and the other on top. “I’m not encouraging any… sexual activities… but I think you should tell him.”
“Tell him… I like him?”
“If he says no, I’ll kill him. And you of all people should know I will take that to heart. I feel this is the only time I’ve seen you so open, especially with Arisu. If that’s what it takes to see you like that all the time, then I hope you’ll go for it.” You smile and hug her, eventually feeling her take you in her own arms. “I will run back to you if it does not go well.” You state before you pull away. Both of you leave the room together, Yuzu going on her own after spotting a girl with a bikini top and jeans from afar.
You mindlessly check downstairs, outside, the club, and eventually back into the hallways, running into Ryō by the stairs.
“Y– L/N.”
“Y/N is okay.” You assure, walking with him close enough to have your fingers brushing against each other. “How was your game?” He asked. “Good. Easy.”
“Of course it was.”
It’s silent for a moment, and you pick up on a tinge of alcohol coming from Ryō. “Did you drink?” You ask, the scent not strong but prominent. “A little bit. Hatter wanted to discus with me. I’m not drunk.” You eye him, believing he’s telling the truth after not finding anything different about his mannerisms. “I managed to get a suite.” He says.
“How?”
“I played with Ann. The executive. Then Hatter talked to me and I got the room.”
“So… you are an executive now?”
“No. Hatter said I was… beneficial.”
Ryō takes your hand, guiding you up one more flight of stairs and opening the room, revealing a large space with a cozy seating area, a large window with the curtains closed, and a massive, made bed. His jacket is hanging in the bathroom, soaked and dripping but left to dry with a towel underneath.
“What happened to your robe?” He notices, looking back at you. “Held me back. Threw it during my game.”
You look at the door. “Should we tell Yuzu this room?”
“I already did. I ran into her before I found you.” You anxiously scratch the palm of your hand, staring at his shirt. “What’s wrong? Is there something bothering you?” You shake your head, the scratching intensifying. He grabs your wrists, separating your hands. “Don’t do that. You might scratch too hard and bleed.” He notices your hands shaking, knowing if he let go that you would continue.
“What’s the matter?” He asks, his grip loosening. Your heart is pounding, unable to make eye contact with him. “I want… to tell you something.” You stutter, breath shaky. Ryō could feel the pulse point on your wrist, unclear but fast thumps against his thumb. “I like you.”
His eyes widen, and he almost lets go, but instead you grab his hand and place it against your chest, feeling your heartbeat just as fast as he did from your wrist. He was trying so hard not to stare at your tits at the same time.
“I’m scared.” You mutter, hiding your face.
“Why?”
“That you’ll hate me… since you don’t… like me back.”
“Who said I didn’t like you back?”
You look up at him for the first time since you’ve entered the room, and his look is genuine. Your hand stays on his wrist, but he moves his own hand up your neck, a sudden chill shaking your body. He tilts your head up to make up for the height, and kisses you.
He’s kissing you, and you’re kissing him.
The moment his lips are on yours, you don’t want to let go. You wanted to kiss him for as long as you could, be in his arms for as long as they could hold you. You’re both a mess of tongue and lips, and you couldn’t get enough of it. You wanted more than he could give.
You both stumble over to the bed, being the first to lay down with Ryō hovering over you. His chest presses against your tits as he leans into you, making you groan. He pulls away, a whine emitting from you, his finger barely slipping under the band of your bra, looking at you endearingly. “Can we do this? I want to make you feel good. Please.” He practically moans, and you don’t even have to think, nodding profusely.
Maybe it’s the fact you’re horny as fuck right now, as he is, but god, you wanted to see him beg for you so bad. Seeing the position he was in right now, pleading for your consent, the way his eyebrows furrowed in desperation, you wanted to be the only one that could make him do that.
And by the end of the night, you certainly did.
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Clothes are strewn on the floor, the light barely shines through the crack of the curtains. There’s a naked man laying next to you in bed, snoring softly with his mouth slightly open. His hair messy and his arm under your head, he lays there peacefully, his own eyes fluttering open and squeezing shut after being hit with the light of the sun. He opens them to see you, and your glowing, post-sex face.
“Hi.” You greet, further leaning on his arm. “Hi.” He replies, hand curling around your head to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re so pretty.” He says, fingers playing with your hair.
“You are.”
He doesn’t retaliate and simply smiles, giving you your first kiss of the day. He breaks eye contact first, lost in thought. “Does this change anything between us?” He asks, looking back at you. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I… that was… really nice.” He refers to the night before with a smile, unashamed.
“I want… to be more… than friends.” The words come out staggered, but he understands, his smile growing slightly. “But I don’t want this to… hold us back in games. If we lose each other, we won’t join the other. The other… must stay alive. I don’t want me or you to give up… because the other half isn’t there anymore. Can you promise that?” There’s a tinge of worry in his eyes, but it slowly changes to understanding as your hand cups his jaw. He nods. “I promise.”
You kiss him once more, bringing the two of you back onto each other again. His free hand rests on your waist, moving to your back to push you closer, then down to your ass, your leg on top of his side.
“Jesus, I thought you two were done already.”
Yuzu is staring at you from a distance by the corner of the wall, seeing one of your undergarments on the floor. “Get dressed, we need to find more intel. Y/N, you can stay with Arisu, since you’re already with him anyways.” She eyes the position you’re in right now, looking at Arisu, then at you. “I’m assuming it went well.”
You nod. “It did.”
“I knew it would. I knew he liked you anyways. I was going to come in until I heard what was going on. You left the door unlocked. Lucky you two were so loud no one dared to walk in.” She leaves the room, the two of you back to admiring each other in the glow of the covered sunlight.
“I could never hate you, by the way. I feel like you’re the reason I’m still alive right now. Everything you said stuck with me… and I guess it kept pushing me to live.”
“What if I die? Would you… still have the will to live?”
“I’d keep living if that was your last dying wish.”
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i want to say hi to you. i have no reason to. 🎧
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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duo of dreams
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🎶 now playing: ordinary – nct dojaejung
P: Hueningkai x Fem!Idol!Reader
S: You were seductive. He was an angel. Two polar opposite concepts come together in ways no one would expect.
C: fluff, comfort, inaccuracy, self indulgence, girlboss reader, downbad hyuka, brainrot, drabbling, kinda long, not proofread
N: i am a baby moa so pls do not slander me if i dont get a millisecond of a certain stage performance correct. this is purely for self indulgence because i am so severely in love with kai and everything that he does. idek where this story went but im hoping it makes sense cuz i was so upset with the ending i changed it multiple times and this is the one i liked the most. this man is so fine and im glad im not the only one that thinks so
view the full perfume collection.
please interact if you enjoy!
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2021
The minute you turned 19, you knew what you wanted. Even before you turned 19, you knew what you were, and you knew what you wanted to make out of it. You were hot. Fierce, confident, and eye catching. Everyone knew it, too. You turned heads every time you went to the headquarters, seeing people stare at you out of the corner of your eye.
Before you were of age, though, you never openly exposed yourself in such a way. It was all a tough girl kind of concept. You tended to stay on the neutral, dark, concepts rather than cuter ones. If you were given an idea, you found a way to design it and stick it to your niche. You always preferred to do what you liked rather than being forced into a box with little room to do anything your way; it demotivated you.
As a solo artist, you had lots of creative freedom, being able to write your own songs and even nitpick at how you wanted them to sound. Sometimes you would just need a kickstart or a hint from another fellow producer to get the ideas flowing, and boy, did your mind flow with ideas.
Sometimes you were labeled as ‘provocative’ or ‘controversial’. Some even said you were acting too mature for your age. But it never hurts to get a head start.
When you weren’t music making, you often dabbled in modeling with your partnered companies or for magazines, really, any source of promotion. You felt even more confident while doing so as well, which further boosted your productivity in the studio. It all came full circle.
You tried to do what you like while also balancing music, and you managed to make it work. People looked up to you. Newer groups admired you, your stage presence, how you gave 100% in every single performance that you did, how you wouldn’t settle for anything less than perfect, how much effort you put into practicing.
You idolized your own fair share of groups as well. BTS, Blackpink, Twice; any group debuting for longer than you have, you admired. When you saw Suga crack a smile at your MAMA performance, you nearly broke character on stage, but held it in by letting your heart race and stopping your face from faltering. When Dahyun talked about you during one of her lives, saying you were cool and how she longed for confidence like yours, you nearly fainted on the spot.
You were still a growing girl with people you looked up to, inspired by everything that they do and how you could apply aspects from their performances to yours. You were truly committed to your craft.
You were invited onto a talk show, along with another group, whose name was not revealed to you. Off camera, you heard the footsteps of multiple people passing by, yet you didn’t know who since it was supposedly a surprise for both you and the other idols.
You adjust your mic, the cameras rolling and the MC and group introducing themselves. Though their voices together are loud, you can’t make out what they are saying, only adding more to the suspense. You’re suddenly given the cue by a staff member, walking out and seeing five men sitting together in their chairs with surprised expressions.
You’re equally as surprised, knowing you’ve seen their faces at previous award shows. “Tomorrow by Together?” You point at them, all of them jumping and freaking out at the fact you knew who they were. “Y/N, meet TXT!” The MC says, letting you sit in your chair as the boys calm down.
“Have you two met formally before?”
“I think once backstage, we were on Inkigayo together.” You answer, the event fully coming back to their memories as you mentioned it. “Do you remember our names?” Taehyun asks innocently, watching as your eyes scan over each of their faces before answering. You point at each respective member as you say their names. “Soobin. Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, Hueningkai.” They all cheer and applaud as you dramatically bow towards them and the camera.
“Is there something in particular you like about each other’s music?” The MC asks.
“TXT has a certain flow in their music that manages to get stuck in my head; No Rules and Frost have been playing on loop for the past few days since those are my favourites. And the rhythm and the way each song plays a role within a story is something I really like.”
They all nod, the MC turning their head towards the boy group. “Hueningkai should answer for us.” Yeonjun ushers, patting the maknae on the back. “Yeah, he has your music on 24/7. Nonstop.” Beomgyu adds, only making Kai even more shy.
“Well, Y/N has a really significant, gritty style to her music and a satisfying edge that balances out throughout her songs, so each song is different in its own way. She really pays attention to the role of each instrument in the background and how well they balance together, and her ballads are really well put together because of this. Of course, all of her songs are good, but her ballads stick out even more to me. They’re usually the ones I listen to the most.”
“He’s good.” You say, all of them laughing. “Frost is actually Hueningkai’s song.” Soobin adds. ���Really?” The maknae nods, all redfaced and flustered. “That’s why it’s so good then. You did the laugh at the beginning?” He nods again. “I picked it up from you, a little bit.”
“That’s amazing. I loved it, it gave the song the whole like, badass vibe.” You say, immediately covering your mouth. “I’m sorry, I don’t know if I can say that.” They all laugh it off, going back to the topic at hand.
As the interview progresses, you slowly find yourself getting more comfortable with the boys in front of you, laughing and joking around as the questions go on and on. They treat you like a close friend though you’ve only known each other for an hour, and your heart is filled with a familiar warmth as you even fall out of your chair from laughing so hard.
You compose yourself before the interview ends, and when the cameras cut, it goes silent, all of TXT staring at you, and you staring back. Hueningkai is the first to break, everyone else following right after.
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the way he looks at her
hyuka had hearts in his eyes the whole time i swear
Y/N ONE CHANCE PLEASE
she is literally slaying so hard and all she’s doing is sitting in her chair
id freak out too if i was in the presence of y/n
IDK IF I WANNA BE TXT OR Y/N
hueningkai finally formally meeting his celeb crush guys the character development is real
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You lurked a lot on social media, having your own personal accounts and such. This also meant you saw all those comments about the tension between you and Hueningkai specifically. They weren’t wrong about it; in fact, there was something there between you two that you couldn’t determine.
It was like a chain operated by a crank that wanted to pull you two closer together. You felt yourself drawn to him, and he felt drawn to you, yet you didn’t know why.
“Hueningkai has the biggest crush on you. He has some of your posters hung up in our room and always stays quiet if your performance is on. He never stays quiet for anything.” Taehyun said, which stuck with you the rest of the interview.
During the recording, you couldn’t help but feel your eyes drawn to him specifically, and how he’d already be staring at you when you looked at him. He could feel it too, the crank wanting to turn. You both were resisting against it, not letting the chain pull you two any closer.
He was cute, for sure. His innocence seemed to radiate off of him, and the way it contrasted with your maturity made you wonder why there was such a significant tension between you two.
So while you sat in HYBE’s cafe on the 19th floor, sipping on an iced chocolate while staring down at the streets below, you tried to take your mind off of him. But it was the most fun you’ve had with another group, and you wanted to relive the laughter in your head over and over again for as long as you could remember it, but Hueningkai was always the first person that came back to your mind when you tried to reminisce. As much as you liked it, it also felt like torture.
The doors of the elevator open with a ding, Hueningkai ordering a lime bachaas at the counter, noticing a familiar figure at one of the window seats. He gets his drink, taking a sip before guessing. “Y/N?” You turn around at the mention of your name, noticing Hueningkai who’s waving at you. You wave back, wondering what to do. It’d be awkward to leave it at this.
You nudge the chair out, letting him sit down next to you. “Are you busy?” You ask, knowing it’s late at night but not late enough until practices usually end. “Just finished. Had some dinner.” He’s usually rambling when he’s asked questions, but maybe today tired him out. You can’t blame him, you were equally as drained. “You watched our episode?”
He huffs with a laugh. “Yeah. I saw the comments too. We’re everywhere.”
“Hope you don’t mind. The internet is crazy.”
“I’m aware of that. I don’t mind at all. Do you?”
You shake your head. “I don’t really care.”
A comfortable silence lingers over the two of you. It isn’t awkward in any way, merely the sounds of the machines behind the counter serving as background noise. “You really picked it up from me?”
“Huh?”
“That laugh. In Frost.”
He awkwardly chuckles. “Ah, well, it’s a bit strange to say it out loud but, when I was recording that part, I tried to envision what it was like in your shoes. All… cool and villain like.”
“You think I’m a villain?”
“Wrong word… more like dominant. When we were sent the sample recording, I could immediately see you doing the song as your own, like I could hear you doing the intro itself. When I imagined your vibe, that’s how it came out. Is that weird?”
“No, I love it. I can understand why you think that way. You did a great job, by the way. Really sweet of you to think of me like that. Your performance for that song too, fuckin’ sexy.” You cover your mouth, looking around and seeing no one else around. “Can I swear?”
He nods with a small laugh. “Sexy?” He asks. “If I’m being honest, you looked really fucking hot up there. Just saying.” His face goes warm, partly at the fact you called their performance ‘sexy’, but mostly at the fact you called him hot right to his face with no shame at all. “Are you flirting with me?”
“Take it how you will, I’m just telling the truth.” Your eyes meet his for the first time during the whole conversation. You break first and finish off your drink, his gaze enough to intimidate yet fluster you at the same time. “I’m gonna go now. Hopefully I run into you again.” You get up, about to leave when you feel a hand tugging on your sleeve, stopping you.
“Um, do you want me to walk you back? We live in the same building and all, I just– it’s dark out.” He rambles, a smile creeping up on your lips. “So you’re cute and you’re a gentleman? I really found the one.” It doesn’t directly answer his question, but the compliment has his heart racing faster than before. “Sure. Let’s go.”
As you walk back to the dorms, you manage to make small talk with Kai, filling in the silent gaps when needed. “I do appreciate your attention to detail.”
“For what?”
“When you were talking about my music. I really like hearing other people’s interpretations on them and what sticks out and such. I’ll be sure to write more ballads for you.” You start off, joking around. “I think it’s a bit funny you view me as someone higher and you’re casually hanging out with them right now. The only difference is that I debuted after you did.”
“You flattered me too much already tonight, Y/N. One more thing and I might just faint from your words alone.”
“Pleased to know I make such an impact on you.”
“You’ve made quite an impact on me for a while now.”
Unlocking your door, you tell Kai to wait outside for a moment, handing him a folded slip of paper. “Thank you for the peace, Kai. Goodnight.” You go to shut the door, opening it slightly again. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You add, Kai walking back to the elevator after you shut the door. He doesn’t unfold the slip until he reaches his own dorm, numbers written down.
It was your phone number, words written right below it.
I enjoyed talking to you tonight. Text me whenever, and hopefully we can talk like this again.
His mind goes back to your words from earlier. ‘Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’
Was it because you called him hot and that he was more secluded on the way back? It was only because he didn’t know what to say after. What was he even supposed to say to that? Thank you? You too?
Before he went to bed, he added your number to his contacts, and hid the note in one of his drawers. He realized one thing, though.
You were definitely flirting with him.
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The elevator door opens, Hueningkai alerted by the ding and turning around to see who it was. Your hood was on, yet he still recognized you, messing around and simply staring at you the whole time to see how long it would take for you to notice.
You see him out of the corner of your eye as you put your phone away, sheepishly waving at him as he proudly waves back, gesturing for you to sit with him.
“Do you wanna see something?” He asks, which grabs your attention. You nod, Hueningkai taking out his phone and opening his emails, tapping on something else. He fully reveals the screen to you, showing photos of him modelling for a campaign. He scrolls through them, and you simply sit there, admiring how he glows in every single one.
“God, you look so good in all of them.” You mutter, hearing him giggle as he shuts his phone off. “You’re the first person to see them.”
“Really?” He nods, running his hand through his hair. “I feel so special.” You smile, wondering how his silly demeanour could turn into that in front of a camera. “Do you want me to send them to you?”
“Can you really do that? It already feels a bit illegal just looking at them.”
“No one needs to know.”
You huff, accepting his offer. “If you’re encouraging it.” He turns on his phone again, sending the photos to you with a ding. “Have you been busy today?” He asks, putting his phone back in his pocket. “Writing. Dancing. I’m performing for KBS, so I’ve been rehearsing. Speaking of which, I just had an idea.” He leans in closer, intrigued.
“Could you… record a few lines for me? It’s for my festival performance; it isn’t a lot, I swear. Just some dialogue. Whenever you aren’t busy, of course.”
“I’m available tomorrow.”
“Great! Cool, I’ll text you more about it. You’re on the setlist too, right?”
“Yeah. Just our title track.”
“Looking forward to it already.”
“What song are you covering, anyways?”
“U-Go-Girl, then transitioning to my title.” His eyes widen, remembering the dialogue that would have to be voiced over by him. “Oh.” Thinking about it alone is almost embarrassing, but he takes pride in the fact that he’s the first person you thought of to record such… important lines. “If you don’t want to, I can find someone else–“
“No, no! I can do it, yeah, I can. I want to. Sounds fun.” He cuts you off, sounding almost too excited. “You know what you’re getting yourself into and not just doing it because I asked.”
“Really, I’d be honoured. Playing a part in your performance.”
“Good. I’d have a hard time finding someone else then, anyways. Wasn’t planning on asking anybody else.”
“So I was first pick?”
You pause, looking for an answer. “You’d add your own little Hueningkai flair to it. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but you’re gonna help me make it stand out from the rest. And that’s exactly what I want.” You always had a thing for being different. Different in a good and influential way, in a way where you wouldn’t be compared to others, rather others were compared to you.
You yawn, covering your mouth and letting your head hang to the side. “Today must’ve taken a toll on you, huh?” You feel his sleeve briefly brush against your hood. “Dance was… hard today. I couldn’t get the moves right even though it’s the easiest dance to ever exist, my brain was mush, I was failing to comprehend anything– I did great in everything else but the performing, stage presence part of it.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. We all have bad days, and it’s okay to feel horrible about it, but you learn to move on and improve. Trust me, I should know.” Kai advises reassuringly, his hand having a gentle grip on your shoulder. “Thanks, Kai. I just feel like a bit of a lazy ass not being able to do things at the pace I usually do.”
“You haven’t been overworking yourself, have you?”
“Not necessarily.”
“If you need to take a little break, take one. Better to be conscious to perform than not perform at all.” He jokes it off, even making you giggle a little as well. “I’ll take your advice to heart, Kai. Means a lot that you care.”
“You aren’t lazy, by the way. I’ve seen your performances and judging from how you exceed everyone’s expectations, you are far from that. You’re a hard worker, Y/N.”
“You really know how to flatter a woman, do you?” His face flushes on the spot, instantly a flustered mess. “Like you said, I’m just telling the truth.” He says, mostly spitting out words that he isn’t entirely sure of. “And you pay attention! My goodness, I’ll never find another guy like you. I’ll treasure you forever, Hueningkai.”
“Stop that…” He murmurs, still flustered and warm faced.
“Don’t be embarrassed! I mean it. I’ll never regret ever knowing you and being a friend of yours.” He only hides his face deeper into his hoodie, giggling as you take a sip of your drink. “Don’t fall in love yet, Huening, you should take me out on a date first.” You tease, finishing off your drink and tapping on his shoulder as you get up to leave “Don’t make false accusations, you’ll get in trouble for that.” He follows behind you, throwing away his own cup.
“I really did appreciate the advice, though. Maybe I was a bit too harsh on myself. I promise I’ll try to be more self aware.” You look up at him with a nod as the elevator doors close with a ding, and he nods back, giving you a thumbs up.
When you arrive at your dorm, you finally figure out a time. “Are you free at 3 tomorrow?” You ask. “For what?”
“For recording, duh. Was this not the first thing we talked about?”
“It was actually the second thing.”
“Okay, smartass, that was rhetorical.” You laugh it off, waiting for his confirmation. “Yeah, I am. I’ll take some time out of my practice for it.”
“I can do it sometime else if you’re busy, then–“
“Y/N, I’m practicing all week, it’s fine. You won’t get my recording in time if you were to do it when my schedule isn’t actually packed. I’ll let them know, okay? Don’t worry about it.”
“Fine, but if I get a complaint that pulling you out of practice was unprofessional I’m blaming you.”
He chuckles. “Fair enough.”
“See you tomorrow, then?” You peek your head out the door at him, tiredly staring at him. “See you. Get some rest, Y/N.”
“You too, Kai.”
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Hueningkai steps out of his practice, following the directions you gave him through text, seeing a few staff members outside the recording booth. They let him in, shutting the door and putting on the given headphones. “Hi Kai. You ready? Need water or anything?” You’re sitting in the producer’s booth at the computer with another staff member.
“I’m good.”
“I’ll play the sample recording for you. Unless you want to go straight into it?”
“Sample.”
Kai had a way of mimicry that you admired. It stayed true to the original, but his voice made it stand out the exactly how you wanted it to, that he got it only after the second recording. You play it back to him, this time layered on top of your main vocals, the part transitioning to your song being the most prominent section where his voice really stands out. “Do you wanna rerecord anything? Personally I think this is the take.”
“Then I’m good.”
You frown at the way he describes himself, even though he isn’t entirely wrong. “Alright, then that’s it. Thanks for coming in.”
“Should I see you later today?” He asks, the other staff member looking at you. “Yeah, sure. Just get back, I feel I’ve taken you for too long already.” Hueningkai begins to tear bits off the lyric sheet, the sound of it reverberating in the room you’re in. You simply watch as he rolls the bits into tiny crumpled balls, leaving them on the stand.
“At least clean up after yourself. You can walk a girl home but can’t pick up your own trash?” You joke, Kai’s ears going red as he takes the bits with him, muttering a goodbye before leaving the room. “You’re close with him?” The staff asks, finicking with the audio.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Nothing. You two seemed to just click instantly. Do you wanna hear how it sounds now?”
As the sky darkens, you wait for a response from Hueningkai almost too eagerly, checking your phone every time it buzzed in your pocket, hoping it was him. You stopped by your rendezvous, just to take a seat and listen to the recording over and over again; it was that good that you wanted to put it on loop and just admire it as many times as you could.
“Boo!”
Hueningkai pounces on you, his hands grasping your shoulders to make you jump. “Kai– do not do that! If I had a drink in my hand right now, I would’ve thrown it at your face.”
“So mean!”
“Reflexes.”
He sits down next to you, leaning in to see what took up all your attention that you didn’t notice him lurking behind you. “Wanna listen? It’s the backup vocals for my performance.” You offer him an earbud as he accepts, playing up until the transition. “And that’s most of it. For now.”
“Feels a little bit wrong to get early access to this.”
“It was only part of it. And now you know how I felt when I saw those photos of you.”
“They’re up now, so nothing to worry about. I saw your messages but that was during water break, so I didn’t get to respond. Figured I’d find you here.”
“I felt like giving up and going back to the dorms. This was a last resort.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to even text you afterwards. Slipped my mind.”
“It’s fine. This is all I wanted to show you anyways.”
He pauses for a moment, staring at the ground trying to remember what it was about the KBS festival he was going to say. “Oh! Right, I just remembered I was gonna tell you something.”
“What is it?”
He leans in closer and whispers something.
“I’m dying my hair.”
“Really? What colour?”
“Brown. Then after the festival, black.”
“Are you getting a new concept?” He nods excitedly, his grin unable to be contained. “I will keep my mouth shut. But I’m excited to see what’s to come!”
“I think you’ll like it. We’ll be working on recordings after the festival.”
“Oh?” You were intrigued. “I’ll like it?”
“It seems like something you’d enjoy, at least. I’m hoping you will.”
“Now you have me wanting to know more. You know this is very unprofessional of you, speaking about your group’s plans with another colleague.” You poke fun at him, leaning in. “I’m speaking to you as a friend, not a business partner. And with how much unreleased information we’ve been sharing with each other, it’s safe to say that we are more than just business partners.”
“I feel like a schoolgirl sharing secrets with someone.” You giggle, Kai’s smile growing. “I heard somewhere they call you Hyuka, can I call you that?” Why did the name sound so perfect when it rolled off your tongue? He did his best to stop his face from heating up and replied. “Yeah. You can.”
“It’s cute. I like it.”
He doesn’t reply, avoiding eye contact with you and simply replying with a nod. “You really get flustered over the smallest things, don’t you? Nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Maybe it’s because I can’t believe the Y/N keeps flirting with me. Not very professional of you.”
“Oh, the irony! It’s corroding my heart…” You overdramatize, earning a snicker from the boy seated beside you. “If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop. I hope you know that wasn’t my intention.”
“I know. And it doesn’t. If anything, my heart beats so fast that I just can’t think of anything to say to you because I’m so focused on the fact my heart is racing in my ears.”
“So you like it?”
“I mean, who wouldn’t want to be called cute by the L/N Y/N? If anything, I’m lucky enough to be talking with you like this.”
“Now you’re the one flirting with me?” You laugh, checking your phone. “I have an interview tomorrow. I’m a bit nervous.”
“Why? You’re always great in interviews. You’re comedic, you’re stylish–“
“It’s one where the MC asks questions to get under your skin. Like a hot seat.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not… I’m not very open with my personal life. I don’t usually talk about it. He might go that far.”
“Can you not cancel?”
“Too late now. I was booked for it but didn’t care to ask what it was about since I was too busy with other things.” You feel his hand rub your shoulder reassuringly, giving you a look that said ‘it’s gonna be okay’. You sheepishly smile, his hand not leaving you for as long as you stay with him. “I just don’t want to get into controversy right before that big performance. It’s gonna ruin my confidence and my performance is gonna be shit and when I look back on it I’m gonna hate myself–“
“Y/N, you’re gonna be okay. Your fanbase would understand wholeheartedly if they are really fans of yours. They would defend you until the end of the line. Have you seen what they can do? It’s a bit terrifying.” He says, making you chuckle. “I get why you’re so nervous, but if the episode is that bad, they’d have a reason to not stream it.”
Hueningkai’s words stay with you the entire night leading up to the interview, where you’re seated in the chair and the cameras are rolling. The questions start off innocent at first, typical questions you’d get on any other interview.
“What is it like being a role model for newer idols?”
“What is your favourite performance outfit so far?”
“Is there a specific place you’d like to go to for a world tour or concert?”
Then it slowly started getting more… iffy.
“Do you have a ghost writer?”
“Did Bighit force you into the ‘sexy’ concept when you turned 19?”
“How many times have you cried over your duties as an idol?”
When it got into relationships with others, however, that’s where you drew the line.
“Have you ever had a boyfriend before?” The MC asks with a shameless smile on his face. “No.”
“Is there anyone you have your eyes on right now? A celebrity crush?”
Your face begins to burn red, your heart pounding so loud and fast you can hear it in your ears, and you’re struggling to spit out logical answers.
“Not in particular.”
“Sunghoon from Enhypen? You two are known to be close friends. Is he your type?”
“Please don’t bring my friends into this.”
“P1Harmony, what was his name… Jiung!“
“I don’t–“
“What about Hueningkai, the boy from TXT? Ever since that interview, people have been endorsing you two as a pair.”
“I don’t think you should be dictating someone to fulfill my relationship status. You have absolutely no power over me and my relationships with others, and God knows everything about me and my friends while you don’t, so keep your mouth shut.”
The whole room goes silent. You’re holding back tears and you want to swear at him so bad, but this seemed to be impactful enough already, so your eyes stare daggers into his soul, as if they pierced through his heart to make it stop beating. “Well, you certainly live up to your fiesty trait.” He laughs off, switching to the final cue card.
At the end, in your dressing room, you’re so overwhelmed with humiliation and embarrassment, the tears that couldn’t escape your eyes begin to flood again as you pull out your phone, the first person to come to mind being Hueningkai.
hyuka
are you there?
hiii!!!
how did it go?
horrible
it all went to shit
oh… are you okay?
can i see you later? same place?
sure, ill be there by 9
Your hood is on for the rest of the day, pace relentlessly fast as you walk into the headquarters. The face ID for the elevator can barely recognize you with how much you’re trying to hold back from crying, and you avoid any eye contact with the staff that join you in the small space. You finally look up when you reach the 19th floor, seeing Hueningkai turned around and looking at you, and you begin to break down then and there.
“Woah, Y/N…” He runs over, catching you before you can fall on your knees. “What happened? What did he ask?” You feel like shit knowing Kai is trying to help you, but you aren’t able to say anything because you’re so overwhelmed with tears and how embarrassing you look crying in front of him.
“Do you want to come to my place and we can talk about it? Or do you want to go to yours? The boys are just practicing vocals so it’ll be just us, no need to worry about someone overhearing.” He’s so extremely patient with you, making you cry even more. You point at him, meaning you want to go to his place, because it was the first thing that came to mind. “But what about you?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m only worried about you.”
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who does he think he is???
i cannot believe the staff did not notice how uncomfy y/n was even after she yelled at them
the fact he just laughed it off like what?
this was so incredibly disrespectful, i dont even know how this show is still up
who is allowing this to be aired theres clearly something wrong with this
he knew he crossed a line and did not care how stupid can you be
i knew there was something off about this
imagine being scolded by y/n id disappear off the face of the planet forever
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You sat quiet in your waiting room, scrolling through the posts on social media all written about you and that damn interview. You knew you were in the right, and you hoped everyone else knew that too. Luckily, they did. They didn’t bash you for anything, their dissatisfaction going towards the MC and the show.
You received endless support and praise for standing up for yourself and putting the host in his place, and you were so incredibly relieved for that. You watched the show broadcasting patiently on the TV in your room, TXT’s title track beginning to play. You were so fixated on it that you almost forgot you were going on next, the staff calling you backstage.
When their performance ends and they come offstage, you clap and cheer for all of them as they pass by, waving at Hueningkai enthusiastically when you see him. “Hyuka!” Even under the dim light, you see him with a tired smile as he runs over to you. “Wow…” He looks at you, eyes trailing over your outfit. “You look good.”
“I could say the same for you.” Maybe it was the lighting, or how nervous you were, but seeing your friend post-performance trying to catch his breath, sweat dripping down his face, his cheeky smile as his gaze with those tired eyes doesn’t waver from yours, you knew it was wrong to be thinking such things. But he looked hot. Really hot.
“I’ll see you in your room?” You ask, and he nods, head turning away first and eyes last. God, he had a gaze that could kill you.
The metronome begins playing in your earpiece once you’re on stage, and you let your confidence take control. Hyuka’s voice plays in your ear, and if you’re being honest, the one thing that usually runs through your mind is thinking about how cool you are to be on stage and performing for such a large audience. Did it make you seem like you were full of yourself? A little bit. Did you care? No.
When the song changes, so does the mood. The lights change colour and are different brightnesses, and so does your outfit. You discard your jacket and the skirt you’re wearing, adorning a matching pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt, and a fishnet longsleeve underneath. Your title track begins, and the crowd screams so loud you can hear them over your instrumental.
After the rush of adrenaline from being able to make the crowd scream louder than ever, you walk offstage, saying thank you to all the staff as you pass by. You make a quick pitstop to your room, grabbing a few things before trying to find TXT’s. The next performers pass by and give you cheer silently, and you can’t help but smile back despite your exhaustion. You knock on their door, a staff member opening it. “Hi Y/N. How come you aren’t in your room right now?”
“Is it okay if I come in?”
“Is that Y/N?” Someone asks.
“Y/N!?” Another voice asks, who you can recognize as Hueningkai. The staff member moves aside, and there’s Hyuka, standing behind him with that goofy smile on his face. He pulls you in for an unexpected, brief hug, looking at you all thrilled. “Your performance was amazing! You looked so good up there, and the transition and your execution–“ He’s so excited that he just jumps around with glee, and you manage to laugh at his enthusiasm.
You take a seat on the empty couch with a content sigh, Hyuka then sitting next to you. “I loved your performance too. The brown hair suits you.” The colour made him look younger as if he wasn’t already, innocence along with it. “I like it. I wish you’d keep it.”
“You should’ve seen my in my group’s Magic era.”
“Do you have photos? It’s been a while since I’ve last seen it.” He pulls out his phone, photos of him from that time showing up after mere seconds of him typing it in. “You looked so cute! And so much younger…”
“We were both 17 that time, so obviously. I saw your concept during this time too. You looked cute too.”
A part of you wants to believe that he means it. Another part of you is making you think that he’s just saying it to be nice since you do that to him all the time. “So you’re saying that I’m not cute now?” You ask rhetorically, letting him search for his answer. “I’m saying that you’ve always been cute. How’s that?”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” He’s looking at you so sternly that you want to believe him, and the fact he hasn’t broken out into laughter probably means that you should. “Soobin, Hueningkai is flirting with Y/N.” Beomgyu says, making you the first to break eye contact with him. “Don’t make her uncomfortable, Hueningkai.” His leader says, lounging in his chair.
“I think she likes it.”
“I do not.”
“Then why is your face so red? You don’t see me all flustered when you call me cute.”
“Actually, I do. We’re even.”
You both sit there in silence, Hueningkai scrolling on his phone mindlessly, lurking on his social media. He opens his camera to check and fix his hair, but notices you in frame, your eyes shut and head on his shoulder. You fell asleep on him.
He’s frozen in place, unsure what to do. He doesn’t move for as long as your rest on him, merely going back on his phone with a quiet chuckle. He snuck a few photos with you, and looking at them he realized that you were still as cute as he called you, even while you were asleep. When he looked up from his phone, he saw Yeonjun with his camera facing the two of you, fingers tapping on the screen.
“What are you doing?” Hyuka asks, Yeonjun immediately putting his phone away. “Nothing.” He lies, going back to using it as normal. You don’t stay asleep for long, being called back to your room by one of the other staff members. When you leave the room, Kai gets a text from Yeonjun, odd being that they were merely across the room from each other. He opens it to reveal a few images and even a video of the two of you together.
“Look at Hueningkai… Y/N is sleeping on his shoulder. Our maknae has really grown up and his crush is resting with him, they’re so cute. Saving this for when they date in the future.”
You nearly doze off in your own waiting room until your phone buzzes in your hand, a text from Hyuka appearing. It’s photos of the two of you, mostly of you sleeping on his shoulder while Hyuka is on his phone or taking selfies with you.
you looked so peaceful i felt bad when i had to wake you up
were you about to sleep in your room? im sorry if i woke you up again :(
ah its okay
who took the other photos?
yeonjun
were you just on your phone the entire time
i didn’t wanna wake you up!
can i come back
im not sure let me ask
👍
no u cant cuz the show is almost over
aw man
we’ll talk tomorrow! its my off day so we have all the time in the world
you’re over exaggerating a little bit
only a little bit
:P
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Y/NS PERFORMANCE MY LORD
SHE LITERALLY ATE THAT UP
she proved that flop of an mc wrong
is that hueningkai’s voice in the background??
GUYS AM I TRIPPING OR IS THAT HYUKA
hueningkai doing the dialogue for y/n’s cover is something i didnt know i needed
r they like best friends off screen because that’d literally be so cute like y/n asking hyuka to do the vocals for her
they sound so good together omg
collab when?
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2022
You were close with Hueningkai. You talked a lot, you hung out a lot, you even did media promotions with him, and you had little inside jokes that no one seemed to get, which made them funnier.
You two also had a tendency to… flirt with each other.
You could never see if he was being serious or not, and he’d never tell you afterwards and just move on. You’d do the same, which was only fair, but you really wanted to know if he meant it. Sometimes you wished he did. Other times you didn’t care.
You did lives together, mostly consisting of gossip and eating snacks, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You even walked in on him once in the middle of one, and was unofficially invited as a guest.
You did promotional content with each other, and had a lot of pictures together in your camera roll. You almost lost important screenshots and info because of it. But every time you opened your gallery, you smiled, seeing pictures of him and the two of you messing around together reminding that there was more to life than just work.
It’s officially known by everyone, you and Hueningkai were best friends. Two peas in a pod, doing a lot of things together when you both were free. You were being shipped together, and while you were worried it made him uncomfortable, you also kind of liked it. Which begun the spiral of thoughts: did you have a crush on him?
You felt even more like a schoolgirl talking about it with your friends, except you were left alone with your own thoughts. You only flirted with each other about what, hundreds of times? He’d pat your back to calm you down, hold your hand if he noticed you shaking, run his fingers through your hair when you’d ramble, hug you when you need it, wipe off any crumbs that were left at the corner of your mouth…
He had comebacks that made your face go red, snarky replies and comments that made your heart race more than anything else, he looked hot when he was performing, like, really hot, he made sure you were the first person to see his unpublished modeling photos (all of them drove you crazy), he looked really pretty with contact lenses, he was the only person that could leave you stuttering and scrambling for words…
The list went on and on. And the more things you found out you liked about him, the more the answer became clear. You liked him. You liked your best friend.
Sure, he’s told you before that you were his celebrity crush, but that’s different. You liked him on a personal level, a level that could make or break your relationship with each other, and that was what scared you the most. You really liked him, to the point where if he rejected you, you’d go dark for a few days trying to recover.
You wanted to tell him so bad. Every time you tried, your heart would race uncontrollably and you couldn’t choke out a single word. It was almost embarrassing how flustered his simple actions made you, let alone on a livestream.
“I told my sisters about you.” He says, staring up at the clear, starlit sky. “Really?”
“My younger sister is a big fan of you, actually. She debuted this year. Older has plans to, and she says you’re really cool.”
“Tell them I say thank you. What group is your younger sister a part of?”
“Kep1er. Bahiyyih?”
“You did that Tiktok with her, I remember. You guys look scarily alike.”
“We really don’t.” You glare at him, straight faced. Hueningkai looks at you, face illuminated by the lights hidden underneath the plant fixtures. “You look pretty.” He thinks aloud, knowing you heard judging from the expression on your face.
You laugh. “I know.” You expect him to laugh the same, but his face doesn’t seem to change in any way. “Oh, you’re serious.”
“I always have been. You just never see it that way.”
“Oh.” You’re struck with a pang of guilt, cursing yourself internally. “You weren’t just being nice?”
“I meant every word I said. I hope you’re taking me seriously right now.”
It seems like I’m not, but I am. I really am.
“This is awfully bold of you, Hyuka.”
“I really like you, Y/N. How’s that for bold?”
He was being serious, unphased with genuine, meaningful eyes. “You always stayed by my side, even when I was feeling down. You remember the little things about me; my drink orders, the snacks I get, my habits, and merely being able to see you makes my day a whole lot better.”
You’re standing there, mouth slightly hanging, unable to say anything. The words are stuck in your throat, and you want to say something, but you feel like you’re gonna faint if you speak a single word.
“I… I can’t…” You’re too embarrassed to face him, knowing his eyes are on you. “I need to go…” You mutter, hand brushing over his for a second before leaving him unanswered on the silent, dimly lit rooftop.
You’re running down the stairs, mashing the buttons on the elevators, messily typing in your key code, falling to your knees once you step foot in your dorm. You’re coughing so much from your horribly paced breathing, and the pain adds to your tears, slowly trailing down your face.
Why were you crying? You didn’t deserve to cry. You were the one that hurt him, leaving him there because you were a coward. It hurt like hell. You barely managed to clean yourself up, falling asleep the second your head hits your pillow.
Practice the following day was straightforward, but you still felt empty. You would’ve gotten a text from Hyuka already, but the only messages there are the ones from yesterday. It hurts to see it so empty, and you want to talk to him, but what if he already hated you?
Entering the elevator, you run into Taehyun and his hooded mop of black hair. “Hi Y/N.” He greets. You tip your head to greet him, guilty for being able to talk to one of Hyuka’s friends and not him himself. “You should go talk to him. He skipped out on practice today.”
“Does he hate me?”
He scoffs. “Hueningkai could never hate you. You made his life 100 times better, according to him.” He pauses and sighs as the elevator nears the floor to the cafeteria. “Even for a few hours, he really didn’t seem like himself. If anything, he’s wondering if you hate him.”
As the door opens and Taehyun steps off, you get a text from Hueningkai.
im sorry.
forget i said anything.
“Shit.” You mutter, Taehyun eyeing you the entire time until the doors close. It’s one swift ride down to the bottom floor, and again, you run, but this time faster than you did the day before, spamming the buttons on the elevator and going to his floor. You stop in front of his door, knocking on it and ringing the doorbell. “Hueningkai? It’s me.” You say. No answer.
“Hyuka? Please, can we talk?” You plead, not hearing anything from the inside. You spam his messages instead, calling him 10 times before giving up. You then remembered accidentally peeking at him entering his dorm code, but you forced yourself to forget it for the sake of his privacy. Given he wasn’t answering, you forced yourself to remember.
He jokingly scolded you that day before shutting the door, but what did he type before that?
Your faded memory punches in the series of numbers you picked out, the door suddenly unlocking. You look around, seeing an empty hallway before shutting the door and locking it, taking your shoes off and running to his room. “Hyuka?” You call, hearing muffled sniffles from a distance. That had to be him.
You didn’t bother knocking. You opened to door, seeing Hueningkai’s face all messed with tears, puffy red eyes, and his arms clinging tightly to one of his stuffed animals. His eyes widened before he hid his face with a tissue. You walk over to him, helping him wipe his face with the tissues. You quickly get up and rush to his kitchen, refilling the glass of water on the floor beside his bed.
He’s calmed down by the time you get back, accepting the glass and drinking half of it. “How did you get in?” He asks, voice hoarse. “You typed in the code once and I accidentally saw. I took a shot in the dark.” You hold his face in your hands, warming them, wiping away a fallen tear with a stroke of your thumb. He clearly didn’t remember. “I’m sorry–“
“No, don’t be. I’m sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
You sigh, heart pounding in your ears. “I was a coward for running away. It was stupid.” He chuckles. “I don’t even know why I’m crying, I just started thinking of you, and everything I’ve lost, and…” He cuts himself off, knowing he’d start crying again if he said anything else. “I’m right here. You haven’t lost anything.”
You move his hair out of his face, and all you can do is look at him. His post crying face, rosy and glistening, a content smile on his face. “I like you too, Hyuka. Your duality, your laugh, your carefulness, your personality…” You begin to look at the smaller details on his face. “Your eyes, your lashes, your jawline…”
“Your lips.”
The crank holding the two of you finally snaps, and you’re fully drawn to him.
You kiss him, and everything feels just right, sensing his surprise through the noise he made at the sudden action. It’s a first for both of you, so you could be as awkward as you needed to while learning how to kiss each other. But you were fast learners, and you got the hang of it quickly.
He pulls you closer by the waist, holding you close to him as you straddle his hips, kissing you fervently. So fervently that you swear you hear him moan in between a few kisses, and you try not to enjoy it as much as you do. Pulling away for a second to admire him, the way his chest heaves as he’s out of breath, his eyes doing the pleading for him.
You lean in closer. “Do you like being like this?” You ask, forehead against his, lips grazing over his own. “Mhm.” Your hand holds his face again, warm and tempting. “Is this what you’ve wanted?” He nods again. “For how long?”
“Too long.”
His lips are back on yours, dominant and hungry. He was the only one that could restrain you like this, and for once, you didn’t mind not being in control. His kisses move down to your neck, feeling him smirk after eliciting a groan from you.
“You can’t…” You start, feeling him stop and pull away. “People will see. We can’t risk it.”
Being in the industry meant that lying out of hickeys was nonexistent. Dating scandals would come abuzz and the only thing people would ask you for the next few weeks was who gave you that purple mark on your neck.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
The door suddenly opens, and you’re met with a shaken Beomgyu, eyes wide and jaw dropped. You immediately get off of Hueningkai, putting your hood back on and sitting on the side of the bed, gesturing zipped lips to the poor boy. “Soobin! They’re– they’re… Y/N’s here!” Beomgyu rephrases, a better choice of words than what you assumed he’d say.
“I’m sorry. That was a dick move of me.”
“It was. All I wanted was closure, and I got it, so it’s okay.”
His hand rests on top of yours. “Can I be your boyfriend, Y/N?” You blush, face hot as if you weren’t just making out with him a few minutes ago. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. But what about our label?”
“You’re closer with Bang than I am. Could you talk to him?” You nod, kissing him one last time before leaving, avoiding eye contact with Soobin and Beomgyu on the way out. You bump into Taehyun on the way to the door. He looks at you with a smile, following with an affirmative nod and letting you go.
Taehyun budges through the border of Soobin and Beomgyu at his own bedroom door, Yeonjun peeking over and seeing Hueningkai all red and smiley. “What happened?” The oldest asks, eyes still on the youngest.
“Y/N happened.” Soobin answers, Yeonjun’s gaze locked on the maknae. Maybe it was his older brother genes that he noticed something different than the Hueningkai he saw this morning, but judging from the fact you walked out with your hood on, Hyuka’s shirt being slightly crumpled, his blanket gathered at the footboard, some of his plushies fallen out of place, and slight tinges of pink on and surrounding his mouth, he deduced you two had a little bit of fun.
“Took him long enough.”
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2023
Your relationship was smooth sailing as it ever could be with your schedules. A member of your team had to arrange a meeting with Bang discussing the relationship between you and Hueningkai. Keeping it a secret would have been the better option, but knowing Hyuka, he’d still show you off to everyone even if being scolded to keep quiet about it for hours on end.
Bang said he ‘had a hunch’ from the first interview, not showing any objection, but naming the risks and controversies that would come with the publicity of your romance. You two were too lovestruck to care about public opinions, but you still were wary of your interactions with each other, Hueningkai especially, knowing that getting into a scandal only involving himself would bring the group down with him.
You two were content with the way things were, but Hyuka tended to have the mindset of, ‘if it happens, it happens’ despite being so cautious, and you’re sure the staff members at Music Bank saw the two of you being intimate in the halls because your boyfriend just had to kiss your forehead at that time, no sooner or later.
Rumors started to arise, given how close the two of you had become. You were always close, but this time you were much closer. There were a lot of behind the scenes cameras at music shows, sometimes catching the two of you in the background together. Once you were even caught with Hyuka taking a nap on your thighs, and that only further proved the existence of the two of you dating.
The one time you decide not to wear a mask and just your hat, paparazzi caught the two of you holding hands on the way back, those gossip articles really planting all previous evidence as if their life was on the line.
Both of you never confirmed anything to the public. You simply just moved on with your lives as if nothing ever happened. It was brought up in a few interviews, but you managed to avoid answering questions on terms of your relationship, using the excuse of privacy.
It was surprising to everyone when they saw a video uploaded on TXT’s channel titled something along the lines of: ‘Hueningkai’s first date’, you couldn’t remember it off the top of your head. But you did vividly remember officially stating that the two of you were going out, and have been going out for a while.
The feedback was, as far as you knew, positive. Being dubbed as ‘the duo we’ve been waiting for’ or ‘netizens’ favourite couple’, you mostly appreciated the fact that you didn’t receive any threats, and only a loss of some fans. Maybe people just couldn’t handle the fact that you two looked so damn good together.
“What are you watching?” Hueningkai asks from the kitchen, seeing you staring at your phone intensely. “Your interview. You’re throwing away your plushies? But I got you one.”
“I’m keeping yours, of course. I’m getting rid of my hoarding habits, so I don’t really want anymore as gifts. Yours will always have a special place in my heart, and I’m never gonna get rid of it.”
“Can I at least keep one?” He considers it for a moment, then nods. “Sure. Which?” You don’t even have to think about it. “Honey.”
“Really?”
“You let me hold him when you invited me here so I could cry and rant after that shitty interview. So that one will also have a special place in my heart. It was also the first one you offered to me. Maybe when I’m alone and I have it in my arms I’ll think of you.”
“You can have him, since he means that much to you.” The sink turns off, shaking the water off his hands and drying them, going to his room and retrieving his, well, now your stuffed animal. The moment you hold it, your thoughts are flooded with nothing but of Hueningkai, despite the fact he took a seat right next to you, placing an arm around your shoulders.
“Jesus, you look fuckin’ sexy in these photos.” You say, zooming in and saving them to your camera roll shamelessly. “Speak for yourself. Front cover on Vogue? You looked so beautiful in those photos. I’m so incredibly lucky.”
You put your phone down, turning to hear his answer. “How so?”
“That you’re my girlfriend. That I get to be your boyfriend. That I get to see your beautiful face every single day, and that I know little things about you that others don’t.”
You chuckle. “I want to kiss you so bad, but the others are gonna come back soon and God knows we won’t be able to stop.” His hand gracefully holds your jaw, his finger tracing along your jawline to let himself move his face closer to yours. He speaks in a whisper.
“Then don’t.”
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if you’re really, really tired, i want to hug you and pat you to sleep. i just miss you, even right now. 🎧
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sxtvrns · 1 year
Text
publicly romantic
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🎶 now playing: in my heart (demo) - grentperez
P: Lee Felix x Fem!Reader
S: He fell first, and he fell hard. When you were on the big screen behind him, he knew he fell for you even more.
W: fluff, drabble because im in my kpop era now, no knowledge of skz at all, short
N: if im being honest guys the only reason i decided to write this was because i got inspired by those fan dance things during their world tour ive only ever listened to case 143 and i apologize if this makes me an outsider but i thought this was cute okay enjoy the content
please interact if you enjoy!
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When your boyfriend said he was going on a world tour, you did not think it was going to last for nearly an entire year. JYP better give them a break after this.
Dating Felix was a handful. He was always busy and his schedule was packed, you both were travelling constantly, having a home in Sydney and in Seoul. With the tour on his hands as well, it didn’t make it any easier. You saw all the edits of him flooding the internet, all of them reminding you of how much you missed your boyfriend.
So when you were told he was going to Australia, and you were conveniently going to be there at the same time as his concert, you had your fingers crossed you could get tickets. You didn’t care if you were in the pit or in the nosebleeds; you were happy to even be in the same room as him for a little while, even if you had to admire him from afar.
You texted him and called him as much as you could. Whenever your phone rang, you always assumed he was on a break or had free time, knowing that it probably meant the rest of the day was full of work. The amount of people that love him reminds you of how lucky you are to have such a handsome guy who seems so out of reach be your boyfriend.
Things weren’t kept secret for long. When you visited Felix one time, he forgot he was live, saying your name and three forbidden words out loud and straight to the camera: I love you. You never showed your face that live, your hand merely waving hello. It wasn’t until you left the room that both of you had realized what he’d done.
You came into his room after he finished his live, putting his phone away. “What the fuck did you do.” You say, more of a statement rather than a question. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to– it just slipped out!”
“If I knew you were going live, I wouldn’t have come. You slip up easily whenever I’m around.”
“That’s because I love you. And that’s also exactly why I didn’t tell you because I wanted to see you.”
You pace around the room, panicking. “JYP’s gonna kill us. He’s gonna kill you. Your fans are gonna come and kill me!”
“He already knows.”
“What do you mean, ‘he knows’?”
“Chan accidentally ran his mouth. If anything, you wouldn’t be in my room right now if JYP forced me to break up with you. He just told me to be careful… and I do. Ever since we started dating, I’ve been careful.” He sighs, setting his phone down and walking up to you. “I’m sorry. I… you can stay here for a few days if you’re too scared to go outside.”
He knew that people could find what you look like and all your other information with a mere search of your name. This wasn’t the same as other people knowing who his sisters were. Him getting into a dating scandal would jeopardize your safety and his group. He didn’t care about his group at the moment, he was scared for you.
“I… I’d like that, actually. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I assume that means you don’t mind sharing a bed? Unless you want me to sleep on the floor.”
“You really think I want you to sleep on the floor after the amount of time we’ve been apart?” Your response makes him smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead and pulling you in for a hug, his hand caressing the top of your head. “I’m really sorry. I know I messed up. And I’m sorry I can’t be there for you all the time.”
“I know. It’s okay. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. I know you’re working hard and you’re busy. But… I’m hoping we can still try to enjoy ourselves for the time being.”
He pulls away to look at your face, being confused about your sudden switch up.
“Yes, I’m scared, yes, my life is probably going to be in danger at some point, but I did not come to see you just to worry about this and our relationship going public. It’s out there now, and there’s nothing we can do about it. I know I was panicking about it a few seconds ago, but I’ve come to terms that it happened already. I forgive you. And honestly, I’m glad that you’re that comfortable with me to say it in front of thousands of people.”
“I’m sorry–“
“You’ve apologized enough. It’s okay now.” You cut him off, going onto your tip toes to kiss his nose. “Can we order something? I’m hungry.”
“You didn’t think of doing that before my live ended?”
“I was gonna ask you, but I felt I intruded already.”
After that whole fiasco, people found your social media accounts, some of them even following you, flooding your comments with nothing but sentences that had the name Felix in it at least once. You got a few death threats even, but you tried to not let it get to you too much. It made you a bit paranoid, but the more you went out, the more you forgot about them.
Articles were written; Tiktoks and edits took over your feed about the ‘mystery girl’ or ‘Y/N’ behind the camera that gave Felix heart eyes whenever he looked at you. Eventually, they found out what you looked like, and though you were expecting insults, you were instead given compliments.
Pretty, adorable, beautiful… words that made you feel comfortable to be a part of Felix’s life publicly. He never brought it up during conversations or interviews unless another person did, which, he was very cautious with what he was saying.
You had your fair share of hate. It bothered you a little bit, but then remembered the only reason they hated you was that you had something they didn’t: Felix. His love and affection, his admiration and attention. It boosted your ego unhealthily, but you weren’t gonna get all full of yourself over it.
He wasn’t necessarily open about his relationship. He wouldn’t bring up the topic himself; usually someone else would have to. He would answer any questions, but there was always a limit to them. He was all nice about it though, always asking you after if what he said was okay to share with others.
“‘How’s Y/N?’ She’s good. She’s actually visiting, so I hope I’m not too loud.”
“‘How did you two meet?’ She does camerawork and paid us a visit, shadowing someone else. She always came along for a few shoots in a row, but I didn’t want to miss the opportunity so I just asked when no one was looking.”
“You wanna see her? She’s not too comfortable on camera, so I don’t think–“
“Felix, do you want this?”
You look at his tripod set up, then his surprised expression, as if he’d seen a ghost. “What’s wrong? Am I interrupting?”
“Nothing. What is that?”
“It’s a grilled cheese. I put the last of your gochujang in the butter.”
“Ah, thanks, we needed to get rid of it somehow.” You eye the camera. “Your face isn’t showing.” He clarifies, allowing you to walk into frame, letting him take a bite of the sandwich. His eyes light up, enthusiastically nodding. “It’s good!”
“Do you want it? I’ll make another one for myself.” He nods, taking the plate from you. “Thank you!” He says, mouth full as you walk out the door. “Look at this, guys. You guys summoned her, now I get good food.” He bites into it again, visibly enjoying the simple sandwich you made. “I love my girlfriend.”
The clip went viral. It’s now one of Felix’s iconic moments, and the first of your own.
You two were certainly romantic, private and in public. On the occasion you’d post photos of the two of you together, and you were also open about it if you were to do lives together. You weren’t in every live, but he invited you once and it was fun, so you were open to other opportunities.
You kept your hood on, which hid your face a bit well enough on camera.
“Y/N, what are we making?”
“Rose tteokbokki.”
“If you don’t know already, my girlfriend is an amazing cook and she gives me food sometimes during some of my other lives.”
“Then Felix makes brownies after and it’s a full meal.”
He notices your amount of clothing, greater than his. “Why are you wearing your hoodie? Is it not warm?”
“I’m hiding myself, I’m scared.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of when you’re so pretty.”
“I cannot believe you’re flirting with me in front of over a hundred thousand people.”
“They deserve to know.”
His hand rests atop your head, his fingers gently gripping the hood. You let him take it off, fixing your hair right after. “Isn’t she pretty?” He shows you off to the camera before you hide your face in his chest.
You sat in an innocent little bubble tea shop, scrolling on your phone when you get a call from him unexpectedly. “Hello?” You greet, sipping on your drink. “Y/N, do you wanna come backstage after the concert? Feels like it’s been forever since I’ve last seen you.”
“Probably because it has. Can you really do that?”
“Chan’s parents and siblings are coming, and they’re going backstage, my sisters are coming too.”
“I mean, I’d like to, if it’s possible.”
He chuckles. “I’ll see you there.”
“Love you.”
There’s a brief pause, and you think about hanging up.
“Love you too.” He mutters, ending the call. It wasn’t very ‘professional’ of him to be calling his girlfriend when he should have been out there practicing, but he’s been kept from you long enough. He just couldn’t help himself.
And besides, he’d do anything for you.
As if it were a coincidence, it turned out you were sitting next to Hannah, who greeted you with a hug when she saw you sit down in the seat beside hers. Now you were sitting in your nosebleed seat, eagerly leaning forward to stare at the screen, the sudden random play dance coming on.
From your knowledge, a camera would focus on a certain fan in the audience, mostly in the further back, said fan having to follow one of the boy group’s dances. This would usually come on mid performance, meaning the members would be watching as well.
You’re so engaged staring at the screen, excited to see who’s on next that you don’t realize that it’s you. “Y/N!” Chan says, looking over at Felix. The choreography for God’s Menu begins to play as Hannah forces you up onto your feet, cheering you on.
You hand her your lightstick and place your bag down, forcing yourself to get over it and just do the dance for the few seconds you’re on screen. In your opinion, you did pretty well, judging from the screams that erupted from every inch of the room. You do the ending fairy, leaning against the railing again with a hand under your chin, sending a wink and a flying kiss across the arena. You immediately get shy, hiding your face in Hannah’s shoulder.
“Wow.” Felix starts, feeling Chan pat his back. “That’s my girlfriend, everyone.” He points in your direction, the arena flooded with screams as Felix’s ears and face slowly go red on the screen. You feel your own face heat up as you cover it, Hannah shaking you uncontrollably. “He’s blushing!” Han teases, pointing at your boyfriend’s crimson face. “C’mon, man, say something to her!” Chan says, ushering him closer to the edge of the stage.
“Y/N, I love you!” He holds a finger heart up, sending a flying kiss back to you. Your face goes warm at his bold move, yet you feel pride that he’s comfortable to do that openly in an arena full of his screaming fans. “Don’t cover your smile, you’re beautiful.” The screams somehow get even louder, and you feel as though a million eyes are on you as you wave your lightstick gleefully.
“Aww, so sweet!” Seungmin adds, poking at Felix’s open affection.
“Do you guys wanna know what Felix does? He scrolls through her photos sometimes before practice and he comes back all red. His excuse was that warm up was tough on him.” Chan exposes, though isn’t immediately stopped by his friend. You laugh at the thought, it being heartwarming at the same time.
You wait with Hannah, her parents, and Felix’s family after the concert, seeing Chan walk out first and greet his family, then you. “Felix ‘s coming, just grabbing something.” You nod, letting him reunite with his family for the time being. You smile at his feuding with his sister, feeling a tap on your shoulder.
Felix is standing right behind you with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, and you practically jump into his arms. “Geez, I’m so sorry, I smell so bad.” His sweat makes your hands cling to him, yet when you look at his face, it made him all the more attractive. Still smelly, but somehow sexy at the same time. He had a towel on his shoulder, wiping his sweat off as best he could. He pulls away to greet his mom and his sisters, taking their pictures for them. You watched in awe how sweet their connection was and how close they were.
You overheard his mom talking to him before they left. “Treat her good, okay? You don’t want to lose her.” Your heart melts, now aware you’ve truly earned his mother’s approval. He walks over to you, stopping to simply admire you, his hand tucking your hair behind your ear.
“My god, you’re beautiful. I’ve missed you so much.” He mutters, the words making you blush and jump onto him for a long awaited kiss. One of those long, cheesy movie kisses was a way to describe it, but who cares if it was cheesy, you finally got to kiss him after months of being away from each other. “Loved your dance, by the way. When’d you get the time to learn that?”
“Circumstances. Figured it’d be best to be prepared.”
“You did fuckin’ amazing, then.” His hand covers his mouth, eyes widened in shock. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“You aren’t live anymore, it’s fine.”
“Still felt wrong.”
“Do you guys want me to take a picture of you?” Hannah appears out of nowhere, startling you. You nod, handing her your phone, posing for a couple pictures, feeling Felix’s hand on your hip the entire time. “Alright, now kiss!” Hannah says jokingly, Chan shoving her shoulder.
“Seriously–“ You get cut off by Felix’s lips on yours, smiling into the kiss. Hannah eagerly takes photos, even when he pulls away, simply staring into your eyes as if he could see a whole world behind them. “Can you post that?” He asks, his lips curling into a smirk.
“Am I allowed to?”
“I’m the one that asked.”
That was a yes.
When Hannah hands your phone back to you after scrolling through the photos, she says, “You know I was joking, right?” You huff with a smile, staring at the photo of the two of you kissing. “If Felix was given a chance to kiss me, he would do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked.”
missed this goofball <3 love you always and forever, lixie (ps i love ur abs)
YALL R SO CUTE
AWWWW
i want this SO BAD you dont understand
that should be me
SHE IS SO PRETTY
tbh felix same id fold too
HAHAHA CAPTION IS SO REAL
“Have you been doing that for every show?” You ask, Felix running his fingers through your hair. “Doing what?” His eyes dart from your eyes to your lips and back. “Showing your abs. Lifting your shirt up and shit.”
He chuckles, his smile so pure talking about such a suggestive topic. “Yeah, why?”
“You’re telling me if I went to your Korea concert, I would have seen your abs there too?”
“You can see my abs anytime, Y/N.”
“I can?”
“You’re my girlfriend, of course you can.”
“Well, I don’t see you enough to see them that often but–“ When you turn back, his shirt is lifted up, showing them off in the middle of a Sydney sidewalk at an ungodly hour in the morning. You yank his shirt back down, Felix laughing almost too loud. “How indecent of you.”
“If indecent is what it takes to make your face like that, I’ll be it all the time.”
“Shut up.”
“You know you like it.”
“Maybe I do, so what?” You turn your face away from him, feeling his fingers rest under your chin to face you towards him again. “So… show me that you like it.”
“Felix, I am not having sex with you in the middle of the sidewalk at one in the morning.”
“So you’d have sex with me if we weren’t on the sidewalk?”
“I don’t think I can even have sex with you. At all.”
“Who’s stopping us?”
“Your fans. Your company.”
“They don’t have to know.”
“‘lix–“
“I know, I know. I’m just joking. Maybe when this whole idol thing is over.”
“It’ll be a while, then.”
“Hope you’re still in love with me by the time I’m 30.”
“I’ll always be in love with you, ‘lix.”
“Really?” He stops in front of you. “Really.”
“You promise?” He holds out his pinkie finger. You hook your own with his. “Promise.”
And he kisses you. Again, and again, and again.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
i wanna be where you are; feel so close though you’re so far, you’re my girl. 🎧
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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hey guys idk if its just me but the readmore function on my recent fics glitches the whole thing like chunks of text disappear and i have no idea why???
so yeah that’s gonna be scrapped sorry u have to scroll thru the whole thing (especially my next one its gonna be long asf)
i write everything on mobile so idk if its just a mobile glitch issue thing i wish i knew how to fix it but again im very sorry for this because ik the pain of scrolling thru a long ass fic instead of there being a readmore command to shorten it if anybody does know how to fix it pls lmk!!
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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to reunite and resolve
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🎶 now playing: don’t grow up too fast - grentperez
P: Connor Murphy x Fem!Reader
S: You were the one of the only people he called a friend. He wanted to call you more than that.
W: mentions of drug use, smoking, anxiety, cursing, sexual content, spoilers, short
N: Basing this off of Mike Faist’s Connor Murphy, because his version of Connor the one I envisioned while writing this. Some information is taken from the book adaptation of the musical. In the book, Connor explains that he is some form of LGBTQ+, yet it is never specified; hints of this are being used in this fic. this is super short and kinda shit LMAO
please interact if you enjoy!
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When he first threw that printer in second grade, you were the first thing he saw out of the corner of his eye. Everyone… well, almost everyone, looked at him in horror, screams so loud they could be heard from down the hall, besides Jared Kleinman, who said that the whole facade was so cool.
Some kids ran, some kids took cover, but you stood there with your mouth hanging open, gaze switching between Mrs. G and Connor. And to think the only reason for this was because he didn’t get to be line leader that day.
He couldn’t tell what you thought of him after that. There wasn’t a single thought behind your face that could determine whether you thought he was cool or you thought he was insane. But he resorted to the worst— you thinking he was a crazy maniac who had a breakdown only because he didn’t get what he wanted that day.
But no, that wasn’t the case. He sat down under a tree during recess one day, and you just so happened to be lurking on the other side of it. You peeked out, looking at the book he was reading. “Is that The Little Prince?” You ask, startling him. “Yeah. Why?”
“It was a bit sad, but I liked it. Which part are you on?”
“The part where he dies.”
Awkward.
“I’ve read this book 5 times.”
“So it’s your favourite?” He shrugs. “One of them.” You sit down next to him, eyes skimming over the words on the page. “I don’t like Mrs. G very much. She always finds something wrong in my work and points it out to the class,” you start, staring at Mrs. G who’s talking to a teacher far across the playground. “I don’t think you should do it again, but I thought that was cool.”
“What was cool?”
“When you threw that printer. Was it heavy?” He shakes his head. “You’re strong! That’s even cooler!”
He shuts his book with a quiet thump. “Shouldn’t you be talking to Lily over there? Or… Jane?” You shrug. “I don’t really have a group of friends. I talk to them and we’re friendly with each other, but… they don’t like the things I like. I don’t know– it seems like on some days they don’t like me and then other days they do. Maybe I’m just scared of that.”
“You’re lucky the printer didn’t hit Mrs. G. You’re even luckier you didn’t get in big trouble. I think that you were angry and you didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” He’s surprised by how well you manage to read him. He didn’t even know how he felt himself. It was an overwhelming feeling of rage that any six year old would have when things didn’t go their way, just that he approached it in a way that no one would believe a six year old would be able to do.
“Do you wanna see the books I’m reading later? You can borrow them if you’d like.” Connor looks at you and that stupid hopeful expression on your face, reluctantly nodding. He wasn’t one to turn down a read. He’d gotten sick of the rose hunting prince anyways.
Most kids in your class would rather go for the toys and playmat while the library picked up dust. Connor watched you every time you went to the little library in your room to pick up a book, always leaning over to see what you were reading. You seemed like one of the only avid readers in your class, not dozing off or merely flipping pages for convenience during silent reading. You really took your time in absorbing what was on the pages; sometimes he witnessed you even shed a tear.
From there, the two of you became good friends. Every partner project, you two would pair up. Every gym class, you’d be on the same team. If anything involved pairs, it would always be the two of you together, to the point where people started joking that you two were dating. Of course, you always brushed it off, but Connor seemed to think otherwise.
At the time, he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly he felt about you. He felt safe, happy, content. He also felt compassionate, open, and endearing. But years later, only when he went to Hanover and was in his first relationship, dealing with a multitude of emotional troubles, was when he realized what those feelings were.
Connor’s head rested on Miguel’s chest as he exhaled a puff of smoke. “She read a lot, sometimes I went over to her place, she always stayed by my side even thought she was made fun of, we’d trade lunches–“ He’s cut off by the sound of his friend chuckling. “Wow, you must’ve really liked her.”
“Huh?”
“I mean, I don’t think I’ve heard any guy in our entire school talk about a girl… not sexually.”
“That’s because we were in elementary. I wasn’t perverted.”
“Still, you blabber about her with such purity. Like a girl you really did love, even if you only were in the seventh grade. She seems nice. If you ever find her again, you should introduce her to me.” In the words that Miguel put it in, he was finally able to understand why he got so much more nervous around you. Why he’d scold himself for doing something moronic in front of you, unless that something made you laugh; he’d let out an internal sigh of relief.
Why he tended to defend you if someone teased you. Why he’d freeze up when your arm would brush against his. Why he’d always overthink about what you thought of him, knowing that you’d never leave his side. Instead, he left yours. He could see the hurt in your eyes after he told you he was moving schools and it almost made him want to stay just for you.
But knowing his parents, they wouldn’t understand why he’d change his mind so last minute.
Sometimes he didn’t understand why you stayed by his side. He knew you were somewhat of a fragile person, but watched you desensitize to those comments over the years.
Connor feels guilty talking about an old undetermined crush with a boy he was on indefinite terms with, but Miguel didn’t seem to mind. “I guess I did like her.” He squeezes Miguel’s hand, suddenly overwhelmed with disappointment. “And now I’ll never be able to see her again.”
“Didn’t you say you went to her place for projects and stuff? Couldn’t you pay her a visit?”
“What if she moved?”
Miguel scoffs. “Highly doubt it. What comes here, stays here.”
The suggestion played on loop in Connor’s head every day, even contemplating actually paying a visit. Yet he never owned up to it, until he was expelled and moved to a new school. Again.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You rest your head on the desk, ignoring the homework reminders being given to the class. You stare blankly at the teacher through your hair, another boy coming into view that you hadn’t seen before.
His hair was brown, curly, and nearly reached his shoulders. He had defining cheekbones and painted nails, dark clothes and a messenger bag. A new student. A new student that you couldn’t help but think looked familiar to you, until you heard his name.
Connor Murphy.
He sat down in front of you, putting his bag to the side and kicking it under his desk. You wanted to talk to him, but it seemed like he didn’t recognize you either. Was it really him? The Connor Murphy who you sat under trees with, reading books and arguing about your favourite characters? The Connor Murphy who barely passed 4th grade?
“Connor…” You mutter a bit too loud, his head turned to side eye you. “What?” He replies, almost aggressively, his stare dark and hardening. You couldn’t believe it was him. But really, how many other Connor Murphy’s could there be in suburban New York?
He begins to turn away until you begin speaking. “Do you still read The Little Prince?” This time, he fully turns to you, eyes wide and no longer dull. “How many times have you read it since I’ve talked to you under that tree?” You smile, and Connor swears his heart stops. Out of pure shock, not attraction.
“Y/N?” He asks, and you nod, his face lighting up with a small smile. “Holy shit…” He sighs, his reaction making you giggle.
You’ve changed. You stopped tying your hair up, you gained a pair of dark circles, and he could just feel maturity radiating from you somehow. At least, you were more mature than he was.
“Um, I don’t really have anyone to hang out with during lunch. Do you wanna catch up then?” You offer, his head tilting. “Why not now? Instead of working on that project of yours.” Your face drops. “There’s a project?” What project was he talking about? Was it– oh, it was the role model one. You finished it already.
“Lucky you don’t have to do it. If we present, we get extra credit. I’m not up for humiliation though.” He turns around fully, and your eyes are drawn to his hands, slim and a bit veiny. He adorned a bracelet and his nail polish was black. He played with his fingers almost nervously, his hands on your desk. “What have you been up to?”
“I picked up guitar. Um, I do some vocal stuff outside of school.”
“Like performances?”
You nod. “Different genres. Jazz, pop, R&B… I’m in a few groups.” He nods. “I didn’t know you could sing.”
“I never showed off when we were younger. I’ve been taking lessons for a while.”
“Maybe you could show me later. Y’know, outside of school.” He quips with a hoping smile. “Are you flirting with me, Murphy?” You ask, leaning forward slightly, his eyes moving from your chest back to your eyes. “Maybe.” You scoff, shoving away his face. “You’re a pervert now?” You laugh, but his smile slowly begins to disappear.
“Oh, I was joking, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that– I mean, no one’s perverted to their childhood best friend right?” You awkwardly laugh while he sighs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to look at you like that.”
“Like what?”
“Y/N, I was staring at your boobs.”
“Like a pervert?”
“For fuck’s sake, L/N, I am not a pervert.”
“Never said you were.”
You were provoking him. If it was another person doing the same thing, he’d have their head. Thrown something at them or given them a black eye. With you, it was all natural humour and jokes. He could brush it off without the need for bruising. The worst part was that you didn’t know you were aggravating him, with your cheeky smile and mischievous gaze.
Later that day, during lunch, you catch Connor off guard, leaning against a tree in the back of the school grounds where no one was, blowing out smoke. He tended to find solace in places where it was quiet and mostly alone. In high school, it was hard to find that kind of privacy, so you thought he’d be away and in the back where no one hung out, besides the drug dealers and porn magazine sellers.
“You smoke now?” You ask, him inhaling and letting out another puff. “I started a while ago. Keeps me sane.” He pulls it away from his mouth, contemplating. “I was gonna offer you some but, you sing now. I guess that comes in conflict.” How sweet of him to be so considerate. “Yeah. Wouldn’t wanna try it either way.”
You pause for a moment, watching him discard the joint. “How was Hanover?” You ask, a rush of memories overwhelming him all at once. “It was a fresh start. I liked it. I, um, made out with a dude? I don’t know, it was complicated.” You certainly didn’t expect that. “You had a boyfriend, then?”
“I dunno, we never specified on it. Complicated relationship.”
“How about girlfriends?” You hear him scoff. “You really think a guy that went to an all boys school would find a girlfriend?” You shrug, standing beside him. “I thought it was common for all boys and all girls schools to collaborate or host events together.”
“I don’t know if there were any collaborating events. I always skipped. Speaking of skipping, would you like to join me on a trip to Burger King instead of going to fifth and sixth?” You shouldn’t be surprised he’s skipping classes. He always joked about doing so in elementary, yet it never crossed your mind to contemplate if he was actually going to do so. “Unlike you, I actually care about my grades. You can come over if you’d like.”
“After years you still expect me to know the address?” He jokes. “I haven’t moved. I’ll text you.” You pull out your phone, opening your contacts app and letting him type in his number. He set his contact name as ‘C’, with a cigarette emoji next to it. “If you ever call me and that name pops up on my phone while I’m with my dad, he is going to kill me. Thinking I have a dealer or something.”
“Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me.”
You text him the address, not seeing him for the rest of the school day. He frequently skipped classes, except for the classes you two had together. He came over many times, your dad eventually meeting him when he wasn’t rushing out the door for work.
Only… one particular visit caused something to happen with reasons unknown.
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You open the window, lighting some scented candles you found in the closet. Connor looked at his joint, inspecting it carefully, instead tossing it somewhere in his bag rather than lighting it, laying face up on your bed with a sigh.
The first time he was in your room, the first thing he asked was:
“Why the fuck is there sheet music everywhere?”
Which surprised you at first, mostly because you didn’t think he’d know what it was in the first place. He’d always smoke, mostly out the window, and you’d drench your room in air freshener afterwards so your dad wouldn’t know.
Connor was a very touchy person, especially when he was high. Sometimes he’d rest his head on your shoulder, his breath smelling of weed. Or on your lap, where his hair sometimes got trapped between your thighs. A hand on your leg, or on your thigh. You didn’t think of it at first, because it was Connor.
Though he took touchy to an extreme one day.
“Have you kissed anyone yet? Y’know, while I haven’t seen you.” You look up at him from your paper, amused. “Why are you asking?” He shakes his head, turning over and looking at you. “Oh, no, just wondering. So is that a no?” You sigh with a silent laugh. “No, I haven’t kissed anyone, Connor.”
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
“So you’re a virgin, then?”
“Connor, where is this coming from?”
“Do you know about the jocks constantly rambling about all the girls they have sex with?” He ignores your question with another question. “Yeah. It’s fucking annoying.” You scoff with a breathy laugh, taking a sip from your bottle. “You know they talk about you, right?”
You nearly spit out your water, saving the drops that fall from your mouth from falling onto your shorts. “Excuse me?” You say after swallowing. “Yeah. It’s all, ‘Bet 10 bucks I can bang her’ while they point at you. Or they go, ‘Jesus, wonder how much she can take’.”
“So I’m being objectified?” He nods slowly, looking up at you through his messy hair. “Unfortunately, yes. Want me to do something?”
“If it results in you getting suspended, no.”
“You sure? Those guys are dicks.”
“They’ll never believe us without any proof. And your reputation is bad enough already. I don’t want you to fall any more because of me.”
“Y/N, I’ll do anything for you.”
Those words make you pause and reflect. Was he high? No, because he tossed his joint in his bag anywhere. Even then, Connor would never say that for anyone. It seemed so out of character for him that you almost laughed.
“Are you high?”
“What?”
“I know damn well you wouldn’t do anything for anyone.”
“Y/N, I’m serious.” His gaze is stern, dark, and hard but also eager, glossy and hopeful. “I don’t know, maybe it is the weed I smoked twelve hours ago, but you’re really pretty. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to become friends with someone like you.”
“Someone like me?”
“Someone so pretty that doesn’t give a fuck about the fact I do drugs or the shit I’m dealing with. I really like you, Y/N. Always have. You didn’t single me out, you never left my side— you’re the one person in my fucked up life that makes me feel like I belong. That I matter.” Your childhood best friend, who’s now sitting up with a hand on your thigh, just confessed his undying love to you.
And you had to admit, the more you two started to hang out and reconnect, the more you started to develop something of an attraction to him. He never smiled at anyone but you, he didn’t push you away or glare at you; it was like he had a soft spot just for you, and it made you like him even more.
“I hope you aren’t gonna fuck me over. Y’know, if you don’t like me back.” His finger traces patterns on your thigh, the way his hand unknowingly rides up making your brain go haywire. “I’m… I, uh– I’m not.” He looks at you, for some reason, disappointed. “Should’ve known you didn’t. Forget this ever happened, then.”
“No, no! I like you! I really do like you, Connor. You’re charming and handsome and…” You hear him huff out a laugh, his face closing in on yours. “I know no one else thinks of me like that but you. You’re obsessed with me.”
“Could say the same for you, Murphy.”
His head tilts, his nose touching yours. “Wanna kiss you.” He mutters. You simply nod, inviting. “Okay.” You reply. He presses his lips to yours, feeling full and complete the moment you two meet. He can sense your confusion at first, but you managed to learn how to move with him quickly. Perks of being a fast learner.
He hovers on top of you on your bed, admiring you when he pulls away. His eyes shamelessly trail down from your face, to your chest, your stomach, your legs, his face cupped in your hands and pulling him towards you to kiss him again.
His tongue slipped into your mouth, the mood instantly erotic.
His hands are all over you. The back of your head, your shoulders, your waist, your hips, your thighs; he placed them wherever he could push you closer to him. When his mouth follows his hands to descend to your neck, you let out a soft whimper, panicking when you barely catch sight of the door.
“W-Wait.” You pant, nudging Connor for him to move to the side. You scramble off your bed, closing the window and the curtain and turning off the lights, going for the doorknob. “Thought you said your dad wasn’t home.” Connor says as you lock the door. “Never know when he will be.”
When you join him on the bed, his hands at the hem of your shirt, you stop him with a touch on his wrist. “Um, I don’t…”
“Oh, shit, did I go too far? I’m sorry–“
“No, no! I want it, I really do, but… you know...” He realized how nervous you were, remembering you haven’t done anything like this before. He gives you a gentle kiss on your forehead, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You know I have. You trust me?” He asks, giving you doe eyes you’ve never seen before. You nod, emitting a chuckle from him. “Let me take care of you then.”
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Sex was one thing. Having sex with your best friend is another.
It’s either your dad stayed at work all night or he’s in grave danger, given you haven’t heard him scream out of pure horror, then yell at you first thing in the morning. You woke up unbothered, naked, and held by your best friend. Unless this whole thing changed your relationship.
Were you even friends anymore? Was this a friends with benefits thing now? But he practically confessed to you yesterday, unless he was high. But he didn’t smoke anything, and the room doesn’t smell that bad…
One thing is for sure: Connor Murphy knows how to fuck.
Maybe it was the fact that you were a complete virgin or that you did whatever he asked you to, but you swear you could still feel how you felt last night when he was in you.
Your head rests on his arm, wrapping around you and holding you close to him. The ends of his hair touch your own head, and you blow them out of the way. You can feel him move, and he groans, meaning you woke him up. You lean into him more, feeling his fingers lightly brush your side. You feel his head turn, his hair moving from your head.
“Hi.” He says, peering down at you. You look up at him, noticing his gaze. “Hi.”
He plants a kiss on your forehead, his fingers moving to brush through your hair. “I think I passed out after.” You say, hearing him chuckle. “You did. When I came back to clean up, you were nearly snoring.”
“Oh god, I snore?”
“Loudly.”
He notices you going silent, immediately worried. “I was just joking! Well, kind of, you snore, but not loudly. Not like a dad snore.” You giggle into the side of his arm, followed by a brief moment of silence. “What are we now?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t think friends confess their undying love for each other and tie it off with sex.”
He pauses, hearing quiet hums come from his mouth. “Can I be your boyfriend, then?” He feels you nod against his arm while you hum in response. “Yeah.” You get out from under the covers, going to stand up until a brief pain shoots up your legs.
Memories of the night before suddenly come rushing in. “Fuck those jocks, I’m the only one who can see you like this.” He said, after making a mess of you with only his fingers.
He really fucked you good last night.
You curse under your breath, legs weak as you stare at the scattered clothes on the ground, tossing your own into the laundry basket by your door. You grab a new change, turning around and noticing Connor staring at you the whole time, an expression you can’t make out.
“I was that good? Your legs are shaking.” You roll your eyes and throw his shirt at him after putting on a pair of shorts. “Shut up. A real boyfriend would help me and not make fun of me.” He fake pouts, getting out of bed and putting on his own clothes.
You turn on the TV downstairs, the morning news playing and showing the date as Friday.
Friday.
Shit.
You’re beyond late.
“Turns out there was a gas leak so there’s no school. That works out great for us.” Connor says as if he could read your mind. You hear the garage door open, meaning your dad had just come home from work. He enters the room, seeing both of you standing by the kitchen counter.
“Shouldn’t you two be at school?” Is the first thing your dad says, eyeing both of you. “Cancelled. Gas leak.” You feel Connor’s hand rest at your hip, wanting to swat it away but knowing your dad already saw it just by the look on his face. “Did he use protection? I know you’re on those pills, but–“
“Oh my god, yes, he did, look– can we talk about this later?” Your dad shrugs and nods before heading for the stairs, hearing Connor laugh beside you. “How did he know?” You panic, placing toast on both your plates. “Maybe he saw your legs shaking from there.”
“Shut up.”
“Make me.”
You glare at him, giving him a brief kiss before bringing both your plates to the table. He quite literally does as you say, keeping quiet the entire time he eats his breakfast.
You should do that more often.
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You knew that Connor was a very mischievous person. He always has been.
He’d skip classes, casually threaten people as if it were nothing, smoke weed; he nearly flushed firecrackers down a toilet once. He didn’t go through with it because you told him not to.
He was also mischievous in terms of your relationship.
He let you leave hickeys wherever you saw fit, in places visible and invisible. You were more wary of it. He showed them off proudly; well, not really proudly, he just didn’t mind if people saw or stared at him with hanging jaws. He couldn’t be bothered to cover them— the only time he did care was when his family would point them out.
He’d sneak out and go to your place frequently; he always preferred your house over his, mostly because he felt like he had a parent he could actually tolerate (and love). If your dad were to ever barge in, he’d stare at Connor, then at you, then at Connor’s bag, and ask if he had protection before leaving and closing the door. Connor always said yes.
It was also a convenient reminder for you to lock your door anytime Connor was in your room, since most of the time nights would always end in sex.
You fumbled for your keys to unlock the front door, Connor’s lips on yours when you stumbled inside. You didn’t notice a bunch of men in the living room, including your dad, holding beer bottles and staring at you until you saw them out of the corner of your eye. “Welcome back. How was the party?” Your dad asks, as if he didn’t see the escapade between you and your boyfriend.
“It was shhh– It sucked. Yeah. It sucked. Hi.” You mutter the last part, eyes quickly dashing over everyone who’s attention is taken away from the game on the TV. “Um, we’re just gonna… yeah.” You drag Connor with you out of their sight and upstairs.
“Does he have–“
“Yes!”
You slam your door shut, locking it, seeing Connor visibly nervous. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Was the party too much?”
“A little bit. And then… your dad’s friends just staring at us. I don’t know– anxiety? This is a stupid thing to be worried about.” You sit down next to him, hugging him while rubbing his back. “Don’t worry about them, okay? They’ve probably done the same when they were younger.”
You feel him sigh into your shoulder, his voice muffled.
“Thank you.”
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don’t grow up too fast. don’t leave me in the past. as long as you never change who you are, i know in your heart i’m never far. 🎧
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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🎶 now playing: old with you - grentperez
P: Tetsuya Kuroko x Fem!Reader
S: Your last year of junior high may have not been the smartest time to start going out with Tetsu. Puppy love was fragile with the transition into high school meaning potentially going separate ways, but the sport that brought you together in the past brings you closer after finding out your boyfriend is going to the same school as you.
W: fluff, knb spoilers, a tad bit rushed, goes over first bit of first season, bare minimum of basketball knowledge
N: Y/N is your first name, L/N is your last name. Words in quotation marks and italics are thoughts. I’ve only watched the first season so far but me and my friend have been screaming at every single competitive game. Giving the blueberry some love since he deserves it. I’ve been wanting to get this out of my drafts since the Suga blurb did so well.
please interact if you enjoy!
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A tall man with red hair lingers at the basketball club recruitment table for a moment, writing something down before walking away. “Are you sure you don’t have any questions for them, Tetsu?” You ask, looking at your practically invisible boyfriend.
“No. I’d rather you do all the talking.” He says, dragging you along with him to the table. They don’t seem to notice him standing right beside you, their attention focused on you. “Hi! Are you looking to sign up for the basketball club?” The girl asks, an eager smile on her face. “I don’t think this school has a girl’s team... but I was just wondering if there were manager spots open.”
‘She’s so pretty… is she really a first year?’
She looks at you with a glimmer in her eyes, her clasping your hands together while jumping up and down. “Yes! Yes, absolutely– we could definitely use a manager. Do you have the sheet?” Her hands are practically begging to receive the document. “Riko, calm down…” The man seated beside her says, you taking the pen from the clipboard and writing down some extra details before giving her the paper.
You check for Kuroko’s sheet on the desk, him simply lingering behind you with a gentle grip on your wrist. “Thank you so much, we’ll see you at practice!” She exclaims, a dead giveaway that you made it onto the team.
“Yo, you forgot this club request.” Koga says, handing his coach the sheet. “Oh, sorry. Tetsuya Kuroko… huh?” Riko’s suddenly shaken by her team captain, him nearly crumpling your sheet. “What’s going on with you? Calm down, seriously!” She says, Hyuga completely ignoring her. “She’s– that girl is from Teiko!”
“Huh!?” Riko then looks back at the sheet she was holding in her hand, being left equally shocked. “This guy’s also from the Teiko basketball club! If they’re both first years, then they must be from the Generation of Miracles!” She suddenly slams her head down on the desk, wailing. “Ugh, why can’t I remember that golden egg’s face?”
“Tetsu, they didn’t even notice you. I know it’s a part of your whole thing and all, but sometimes it gets to me, how you’re always… ignored.” Both of you trail behind the tall, red headed man from earlier, Tetsu’s grip moving from your wrist to your hand. “It’s okay, Y/N. I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine. I like it when you’re the only one that sees me.”
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“Aida!” You greet from the door, Tetsu holding onto your hand as you walk towards her. Given his lack of presence, he didn’t seem to be worried about keeping your relationship a secret. If something happens, it happens. If they find out about you two, then they find out. “L/N! Welcome! I’m so glad we have a manager this year; it’s gonna be so fun having another girl on the team!”
“Are you the coach? Or is there someone else?” You ask, looking around the mostly empty gym. “I’m the coach! Everyone thinks I’m the manager all the time…” She sighs, understanding why one would assume so. Aida is pulled aside by one of the boys, leaving you to observe the rest of the players.
“Y/N, where do I go?” Tetsu asks, also staring at the players. “Go with them. Line up.” He nods, letting go of your hand and going to join the players. He doesn’t say anything, mostly because he’s being ignored but even so, you felt a little bad.
“Hey, isn’t the manager cute?” Furihata whispers. “I think she’s in our year. She’s kinda sexy.” Kawahara replies, both of the boys being punched in the back of the heads by Hyuga. “Morons.” Aida introduces herself, her true position on the team coaxing gasps out of everyone. “Listen up!” She yells, attention being brought to you.
“Y/N L/N. I’m the basketball club manager this year.” You introduce, feeling awkward saying your own name. “L/N, is this your first year managing?” Someone asks, you shaking your head no. “I managed for Teiko in junior high. I’ve played a bit of basketball myself.”
Aida then takes the stage from there after gasps could lead to more questions, her first order a strange one that caught you off guard. Your eyes darted towards her and shifted between her and Tetsu repeatedly, realizing he never took his shirt off.
“Aida, you forgot someone.” Everyone seems to give you a confused look. “What? Who?” You point at Kuroko. It isn’t until he fully introduces himself that everyone finally notices, the fact that he was also part of the Generation of Miracles suddenly relevant. To your demise, no one seemed to believe him.
Practice was more of an introductory to the members and program, for there was no actual playing involved. You met with Tetsu outside the gym, his hand fitting with yours. It was a small but meaningful gesture and almost the only one that he did to express affection. “Y/N, are you okay with walking alone?” He says after his attention was suddenly brought to something else.
“I am, are you?”
He nods, giving you a hug before walking the opposite direction.
Sometimes you can’t tell what your boyfriend is thinking.
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“A practice game? With the second years?” You ask, dribbling the game ball. “Just so they get a feel for who they’re playing with. I also wanna see how the first years do, so I can coach them better.” Aida explains, watching you dribble the basketball. “You said you played, right? Unfortunate we don’t have a girls team.”
You shrug. “I was good.” She cocks an eyebrow, now curious. “How good?” Her arms are crossed, her intense stare focused on you. You crouch, dribbling the ball in between your legs followed by a behind the back, approaching the net with solid dribbles, running under to make a reverse layup.
“I obviously can’t dunk, but…” You quickly run out to the three point line, the spin on your shot so perfect that it goes in swiftly, rolling back to you. “I was taught some things at Teiko.” Aida’s mouth hangs open, the sight of her frozen nearly scaring you. “You’re amazing! Why’d you quit?” She took the ball from you. “It wasn’t something I enjoyed. I don’t want my whole life to revolve around doing something that I didn’t want to do.”
“I can understand that.” She says, yelling at the boys that walked in to hurry up. Hyuga ruffles your hair out of nowhere. “We got a sharpshooter!” He goes to talk to the coach, Tetsu appearing beside you. “When will you teach me how to shoot?” His head rests on top of yours, making you giggle. “When you actually pay attention when I try to. You’re always spacing out.”
“I do not.”
“You know I read you better than anyone else. Yes, you do. Now go join your team. I’ll be with Aida.” You hand him a penny jersey, noticing him reluctantly walk away from you to linger behind the red haired boy, who you found out was Kagami, his presence not noticed by his team like usual. Even when the game started, it was like they couldn’t see Tetsu the entire time. Kagami took the lead the entire time, dunk after dunk.
It wasn’t until Tetsu actually said something for once that the first years finally noticed him. In fact, everyone finally noticed him when he was under fire from Kagami.
“Hey!” Your voice booms across the gym, your stare hard and cold at the tall boy. “Drop it.” You add, the first years suddenly freezing up and going back to the game. Aida’s eyes are wide at their instant submission, surprised at the power you seem to hold despite it being only the second practice.
You cheer after he finally pulled off his ghost touch pass for the first time, the trick being pulled off again and again there on. You changed the score with such enthusiasm, Aida had to remind you twice to do so. The takeback practically had your heart racing at the end, giving a gleeful double high five to Tetsu before taking the pennies back.
Aida saw both you and Kuroko out of the corner of her eye as she was putting away the small scoreboard, your head resting against his arm for a brief moment. She didn’t think anything of it, while the second year players thought otherwise.
Meanwhile Tetsu held your hand as you walked across the street, stating that he deserved a treat for winning the practice game today. It worked out since you were also hungry, having a small lunch today. He waited at a table booth while you ordered, his signature vanilla shake and a burger and fries for you.
You sat beside him, Tetsu talking about his classes that day while sipping on his drink to let you eat without interruptions. It was nice having something he didn’t share with others; Tetsu’s talkative side mostly reserved for situations when it was just you two. Otherwise, he was never this chatty with people.
Someone suddenly sits down in front of you, the amount of burgers on their tray making your eyes go wide. Only then you realize that it’s…
“Kagami?” His head perks up at the sound of his name, eyes on you first before he sees Kuroko beside you. He nearly chokes on his food, bewildered to see the two of you together. “Hello.” Kuroko greets, sipping on his drink. “Where’d you come from? What are you doing here?!” Kagami seems more surprised at the fact Kuroko was there, making you the invisible one.
“I was sitting here first. Me and my girlfriend stopped by to eat. I like this place’s vanilla shakes.” The sudden mention of the label makes your face heat up and hide your face in his shoulder. “Tetsu…” He looks at you, confused. “What? Are you not?” You really don’t feel like dumbing it down in front of Kagami. “I am, but it was so sudden.”
“Girlfriend?! You two are dating!?” Kuroko nods, taking a fry from you. “Hey, hands off. If you wanted fries, you should’ve told me.” He pouts, Kagami sighing. “Here.” He tosses Kuroko a burger while you check your phone, the time having you rush to grab your things.
“What’s wrong?” Tetsu asks, watching you scurry. “I really need to get home. I don’t want my mom to ground me. Are you gonna walk with Kagami?” You feel like a parent, asking who your boyfriend is with. “Maybe, but I can walk alone. Text me when you get home.” His hand glides over yours as you both say your goodbyes, Kagami there to witness the whole thing.
“I feel like I’m interrupting something.”
“You aren’t. What were you saying?”
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The sliding door opens, the person you’re looking for happily sipping on a milk carton with her head in the clouds. Tetsu then strays from you, standing at the side of her desk. “I’d like an official club membership form.” He says with no greeting, Aida spitting her drink everywhere. You have to stifle a laugh to avoid her from flaming up at you.
“Geez, Kuroko, you came out of nowhere!” Aida wipes down her desk, noticing you standing by the door. “I was standing here the whole time.” She sighs, reaching into her bag and pulling out a sheet of paper, handing it to him. “I’ll only accept the forms Monday at 8:40 on the roof.” Kuroko nods, meeting you at the door. “Thank you.” He says before sliding the door shut.
An article posted outside the library catches your attention, Tetsu stopping beside you to read it. It was their debut in a tournament from last year, which displayed and wrote about Seirin’s excellency for a now school. “They’re good.” You say, mostly to yourself, hearing your boyfriend huff in response.
“Hey L/N.” Kagami greets, stopping to read the article as well. “He wasn’t kidding.” His eyes scanned over the article, eyes mostly drawn to the two images on the sides. “Yes, they’re strong.” Kuroko says, making him jump.
“What is wrong with you?! Stop coming out of nowhere!” Kagami seems to completely forget about your presence, only focusing on Tetsu when he shushes him and points at the sign for the library. He grabs his head, threatening to beat him up until you whack him in the gut. “Stop that.” You say, walking away with Tetsu while Kagami doesn’t seem to notice.
For as long as you’ve been hanging out with Tetsu, he’s been quite antsy waiting for Monday, mostly worried about forgetting the whole ordeal on the roof. He couldn’t forget with how much he was thinking about it. The whole thing being 5 minutes before the morning assembly was your only concern. You stood beside Aida on the roof, the first years lined up in front of her as she makes a motivational speech for them.
Frankly, you thought it was too early in the morning for this.
“Give me your year, class, name, and your goal for this term and announce it to the entire student body! If you fail to achieve them, you’ll come back up here, strip naked and confess your feelings for the girl you love.” That last part definitely caught you off guard, knowing Tetsu was either unwilling to be so bold or work his ass off in order to avoid the humiliation.
“I have a question.” Kuroko raises his hand, Aida giving him permission to speak. “Since I’m dating Y/N, do I have to comply with the punishments in front of her?” The coach’s eyes go wide while you’re left with a hot face, flustered, practically informing part of the team of your relationship with him. Kagami was simply surprised at his boldness while the other three were yelling in shock.
“You’re dating L/N!?”
“Since when?!”
Aida blew her whistle, the three shutting up and standing still. “I suppose… that works. It’s only fair.” Tetsu was calm and collected about everything, but this? How could he be so reserved when he just agreed to go nude in front of you if he wasn’t a good player?
Something felt off while the players yelled, the students staring up at the balcony rather than paying attention to the assembly. You moved from the rail to the side of the entrance where no one could see you, Aida letting you be since Tetsu was the last person to go.
He never went, those in sight being ridiculed by staff while you stayed hidden, holding in your laughs. You’d rather be yelled at by the coach than an actual teacher.
You met with Tetsu after school, him placing a hand on your shoulder before asking you something. “Again? Really? Fine, but you’re gonna be alone this time. I have to go home.” He sighs defeatedly, giving you a hug. “Text me.” You nod, going ahead while Tetsu walks into the diner.
You wonder if Tetsu was ever going to announce his goal publicly after receiving a text from him that reminded you of the whole ordeal. After running into Kagami on the way to class, you both enter the room to see students lined up against the windows, seemingly looking at something outside. You make room for yourself and the tall player and notice writing on the field outside.
We will be the best in Japan
You turn around and see Tetsu standing behind you, looking at you before saying, “I’ll do it for the school, for the team, and I’ll do it for you.” You try to say something, but to know you’re one of his motivations for such a difficult goal made you fall in love with him even more. You hugged him, making him jump a little bit before he hugged you back.
Luckily everybody was too focused on the field that nobody noticed you two, besides Kagami. He simply gave Kuroko a thumbs up.
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“Ryō?” You mutter, noticing him sitting on the stage with a line of girls going out the door. You didn’t pay attention to the coach, the only important thing she was saying being a practice game against Kaijo High anyways. Tetsu would remember. You walk over, catching Kise’s attention. He says something to the girls that you can’t make out.
“Is that Y/N L/N? The former manager of Teiko Middle School Basketball Club?” He asks in an overdramatic tone, jumping down from the stage to meet you. “What are you doing here?” You ask, a pout appearing on Ryō’s face. “Wow, not even a hello to your older brother? We haven’t seen each other in ages! Where’s Kurokocchi?” His eyes eventually land on Tetsu. “It’s good to see you again.” Tetsu says.
“Brother?!” The team yells.
“No. Everyone called them ‘practical siblings’ in middle school since Y/N was always scolding him.” Kuroko explains.
“Good to see you, too,” Kise replies. “Going back to your informal greeting, Y/N-cchi, when I heard our next opponent was Seirin, I remembered you two went here, so I came by to say hello. And besides, the three of us got along best in middle school.” You scoff, hitting him in the side. “You sure about that?”
“You haven’t changed at all! Still so mean…” He fake cries.
“I’m staying that way.”
“‘Ryōta Kise. Though he started basketball his second year of middle school, his exceptional physical ability and sense got him on the Teiko team as a regular in a heartbeat.” Furihata says, the article having you feel sympathy for Tetsu. He never got his own personalized interview for that magazine, and every time it comes up, you can’t help but feel bad for your boyfriend.
You obviously care more than Tetsu does.
“That article exaggerated quite a bit, y’know? I’m glad to be called part of the Generation of Miracles but I’m the worst of the bunch.” Kise says. “You really are.” You joke, him shoving you. “Don’t make me feel worse about it than I already do!” He cries. You laugh at him, seeing the almost angry look on Kagami’s face, who stood at a distance.
You never really knew what was going on in Kagami’s head, so you assumed that he wasn’t really angry. If anything, that was his excited face.“Kise, get out of here, practice is still going on.” You nudge him repeatedly in the side. “Aw, why?” He drags out the ‘y’, pouting. “Do you not miss me? I wanna know what you’ve been up to!”
“I’ll talk to you at the game, okay? Just get out, you’re interrupting.” You shove him away from the team.
Aida begins to intervene. “Actually, we still have 5 minutes left–“
“Do you really want this idiot having full knowledge of our plays to inform his coach about?”
“Hey, I am not an idiot!”
Aida looks at you bickering with the Kaijo player before sighing, “Well, I guess we can cut it short for today–“ Suddenly, a ball is thrown at him, everyone turning to Kagami after seeing where it came from.
And the rest of practice consisted of you shoving Kise out of the gym after his little scrimmage against Kagami.
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One of the things that was going on in the minds of the benched Kaijo players’ mind was:
‘Damn, Seirin’s manager is cute!’
Meanwhile you were thinking…
That was one hell of a block.
Kagami practically climbed into the air, pushing himself up with Tetsu’s head and blocking Kise’s three-pointer.
“Fast break!” Kagami shouts, prompting everyone on the court to turn around. Kise turns around quickly, not paying attention to his surroundings, his hand whacking Kuroko in the face.
“Te– Kuroko!”
He falls back, lucky to not have hit his head. You look at Aida, who’s attention is on the injured player. You try to run to him while she’s distracted, but grabs and holds you back from going onto the court. He gets up slowly, footsteps uneven with his eyes focused on the ground.
Kagami and Hyūga check up on him, everything supposedly going okay until Tetsu collapses onto the ground. Only then do you realize that he’s bleeding. You break free from Aida’s grasp, running over to pick him up, supporting him with one of his arms around your shoulders back to the bench.
“Y/N-cchi…!” Kise merely looks at the two of you, your backs facing him. “I didn’t mean for this to happen– I’m sorry.” Your head turns just enough for you to see him out of the corner of your eye. “Don’t apologize to me. If this ever happens again, I’m going to rip your piercings out of your ears.” You threaten, walking away. Kise knows that you joke around when you say things like that, but you sounded completely serious this time.
For once, he was intimidated by your unknown sarcasm.
Tetsu laid on a mat behind the bench, bandages wrapped around his head, a bit of dried blood here and there but nothing too drastic. For the rest of the second quarter and a bit of the third, you stayed by his side, holding his hand and keeping your ears open for anything important the coach had to say when the game was paused. Aida kept track of points, rebounds and assists for you while you tended to an unconscious Kuroko. After a bit, you feel a squeeze on your hand, noticing that Tetsu’s eyes opened a little bit.
He tries to get up, but you usher him to lay back down for a bit, noticing he’s visibly tired. “Are you okay? Does your head hurt? Do you need anything?” You ask him these questions knowing he may not have been in the best state to comprehend all of them. “Have you been sitting with me this whole time? You should be working.” He says, looking at the benched team members.
“I did help a bit during halftime. Aida let me stay with you, said she needed someone to watch over you.” A smile grows on your face knowing that he’s okay. You’re still concerned. “Are you still gonna play?” You ask. “Yes.”
Tetsu was a persistent person, so whatever he says he will or will not do is the thing that sticks through. But knowing he was going to play after getting hurt? It scared you. “I’ll be okay. If I get hurt again, you’ll be there to help me. Please don’t worry.” He sits up, his hands cupping your face. He pulls your face towards his, giving you a kiss on the cheek.
There’s too many things going on right now. Your heart is racing, your face is hot, you feel so giddy but also so surprised. That was the first time he ever… kissed your cheek. He didn’t care if anyone was looking. He didn’t even care if no one or everyone saw, he just did it.
“What’s the matter? Are you okay?” You’re left stunned while he looks at you confused. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine, I’m great!” You get up, brushing off your skirt and helping Tetsu up. He pats your head, walking over to Aida to let himself back into the game.
For the rest of the game, you can’t help but think of how gentle he was when he cupped your face. How his kiss was soft and sweet on your cheek, He might’ve noticed how warm your face was, but if he did, he would’ve called you out for it. Your hand rested on the cheek where he kissed you, spacing out continuously.
“Y/N! Kagami scored again!” Aida yells, prompting you to mark it down on the clipboard. “Geez, what’s gotten into you? First Kuroko, now you?” You giggle while your hand rests on your cheek again, Aida knocking you on the head so you could pay attention.
You’re thankful that she did, because you got to witness your team’s first win. Even if it was only a practice game.
100 - 98
They worked hard for it. They deserved it.
You even witnessed Kise cry for the first time. Part of you feels bad for him, but the other part is glad karma has done its job. It may have been an accident, but it still pissed you off.
Quiet mutters come from the spectators up on the balconies.
You cry out a celebratory roar from the bench, Kagami following right after. The third years return Aida’s thumbs up, while she jumps after feeling a pair of arms wrap around her. “We did it! We won, Aida!” She has no idea how to react, resorting to resting her arm and patting you on the back.
Tetsu breathing heavily on the court catches your eye. Sweat drips from his forehead as he pants, but weirdly enough, he looked handsome.
After the winning declaration, you swear you’ve never seen Coach glow with such brightness before. She’s practically beaming. Tetsu sits down on the bench while you hold his towel, wiping the sweat off his face and checking his bandages. His face rests in your hand, while your eyes scan over the bandages. “We’re gonna go to the hospital after this. I don’t wanna risk anything.” He nods, leaning in to have his forehead touching yours.
You’re hiding the fact you’re freaking out very well since he isn’t saying anything.
“I’m going to kill Ryō.” You laugh. “Don’t do that. It’s not his fault.” You pull away first, getting up to get the sheet from the scorekeepers. Kise appears at the table as well, taking the other sheet. “Y/N-cchi, can I talk to you?” He asks. You don’t say anything but nod, following him out of the gym. Tetsu watches you walk off, unsure of how he should feel at the sight of the two of you together.
Alone.
“You and Kurokocchi are going out? I never thought he’d really own up to it.” You freeze, having to run to catch up with Kise. “Wha– how did you know? What do you mean by that?” He scoffs, stopping at an outside faucet. “I don’t think a manager would run onto the court for any boy, like him or not.”
You don’t respond, your phone buzzing in your small bag. “How long?” Kise asks before turning the faucet on to splash his face. “Since January.”
Tetsu had been the one to make the first move. At first, you were worried about the opinions of other people; your parents, your friends, Satsuki. You slowly started to realize that he didn’t care what others thought. He liked you and confessed to you for a reason. He’s done things with you he wouldn’t dare to do with another person. It showed how much he trusted you, and your face goes warm every time you think about it.
“He never showed you off in middle school like he did in the game today.”
“Tetsu mostly kept it a secret from you guys. He was… wary around Satsuki. It was harder since I hung out with her a lot. Otherwise, he was open about it when all of you weren’t around.”
“So he’s been kissing you at school and I’m just never there to see it?”
A rush of heat grows onto your face, making you hit Kise in the stomach. “We have not! You are so ridiculous…” Your phone buzzes again, this time you check who it is. A bunch of texts from Tetsu appear on your screen, a few calls as well.
Y/N
Y/N
Y/N
Where are you?
Please come back, we’re waiting for you
I miss you
Please hurry
Y/N
Don’t ignore me
I know you’re holding your phone right now
Please pick up
I’m getting worried
Coach is getting frustrated
“He’s really hung up on you, huh? He’s liked you since October, y’know. He always came to me for advice or just to talk to me about you.” Kise laughs at the memory. “Really?”
“Yeah! He’d say, ‘Y/N is so pretty’ or, ‘Y/N looks really good today’. He said you looked good every day, actually.” Your brain goes into overdrive, the thought of being admired like that seeming unreal. “We should keep in touch! I’ll give you my number.” He holds his hand out, you tossing him your phone. “Make it quick.”
Kise punches in his phone number, handing you back your phone. “See you at the Inter-High!” He waves, watching you walk away. You meet up with the team, Tetsu welcoming you back with open arms. “What took you so long? Is everything alright?” He questions, holding your hand. “Ryō wanted to talk to me. He found out we were dating.”
Tetsu tenses up a little bit. “He didn’t… tell you anything, did he?”
‘He’d say, ‘Y/N is so pretty’ or, ‘Y/N looks really good today’. He said you looked good every day, actually.’
“Well… he may or may not have said one thing.”
Tetsu suddenly jerks, covering his face with his other hand. It’s one of the only times you’ve seen him embarrassed, but really, it makes you laugh. His face is a bit red and he refuses to make eye contact with you, avoiding your gaze.
“What did he tell you?”
“That you talked about me every day with him.”
“Oh, that’s not… I thought he told you something else.”
“Like what?” Tetsu doesn’t respond, simply walking along like he didn’t hear your question. “Tetsu, don’t ignore me, now I’m curious!” You shake him slightly, emitting a giggle from him. “You know that love note you got in your bag that you wouldn’t stop talking about?”
“The one I got the day before Christmas break?” He nods. “That was me. I wanted to be the one to tell you about it, not Kise.” That’s why he seemed a bit antsy earlier at the mention of Kise saying something. “I reread that note over and over again for a week trying to figure out who wrote it. I have it hung up in my room.”
“I know. I saw.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I figured I’d bring it up sometime, but I didn’t know how to say it.”
He pauses, feeling you lean against him. “Why didn’t you call me that when I got hit?” He asks, leaving you confused. “Call you what?”
“Tetsu.” He refers to the moment where you called his name, being held back by the coach from running onto the court. “Ryō only knew I called you by Tetsuya before we graduated. I think he would’ve caught on if I called you that. I tried to play it safe.”
“I guess I can understand why you did that. Kise’s one to gossip.”
“I’m sorry if it hurt you.”
“It’s okay. Knowing Kise, you did the right thing.”
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“Momoi’s gonna freak when she finds out you two are a thing.”
“You aren’t going to tell her, are you?”
“No, no, I won’t. I’m sure she’ll find out on her own. Why?”
“Because I want to be the one to tell her.”
Kise freezes, surprised. ‘So bold!’
“Y-You’re really okay with her finding out?” He stutters, spinning the ball on his finger. “She knows I don’t like her back.” Kise drops his finger, catching the ball in his hand. “Well, yeah, but her and Y/N-cchi were best friends! Don’t you think she’ll feel a little hurt after knowing her best friend of her entire junior high career is going out with the guy she loves?”
Kuroko pauses, Kise passing the ball for him to catch. “Momoi needs to know. Y/N is my girlfriend, not her. She needs to accept that. Besides, Y/N’s changed. She’s tougher and isn’t afraid to confront others.”
“Hasn’t she always been like that?”
“She got into an argument with the captain and won. She’s broken through our coach’s shell multiple times. She made me run extra laps after conditioning.”
“Okay, I get your point. Still, you know Momoi. She doesn’t stop.” Kuroko shrugs. “You underestimate Y/N. If anything happens, I’ll intervene.” He says, a look only Kise could recognize on his face. “What’s wrong? You okay?” Kise hunches to look at Kuroko’s face, the doubt more visible.
“I’m fine.”
“Well, you don’t look fine. We’ll never see each other again after this, so might as well tell me now.” Kuroko sighs, embarrassed to look at his former teammate in the eye. “Is it too soon for me to make any moves on Y/N?” Kise cocks an eyebrow, catching the ball that Kuroko passed back to him. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve only been going out with Y/N for three months and I don’t wanna make her uncomfortable but… we haven’t kissed yet.” Kise nearly bursts into laughter at his worry. “I never thought that Kurokocchi would ever worry about kissing!” He giggles, getting up from the table he was sitting on. “I haven’t even gone out with anyone yet, now that I think about it. Geez, you’re one lucky guy.”
Was Kuroko’s kiss on your cheek so discreet that even Kise didn’t see it? Not even out of the corner of his eye?
“What should I do?” Kuroko asks, Kise trying to come up with a solution. “The guy always has to make the first move, remember that. You confessed to her first, so you should initiate it.”
“So do I just kiss her out of nowhere?”
“What– no! Let me finish!” Kise stutters. “You didn’t pressure her into forcing her to go out with you. She already liked you, right?” Kuroko nods, Kise going back to thinking again. “Well, I think you should… no, I know you should ask her first before you kiss her. You don’t want to pressure her into something she doesn’t want to do. If she’s ready to kiss you, then she’ll let you do it. Like how she was ready to be in a relationship with you.”
“I see.” Kuroko mutters. “If she says no, then you wait. Good boyfriends are willing to be patient. Don’t be greedy.” Kise plays around with the basketball in his hand, Kuroko’s eyes stuck on him the whole time. “You know, you give good relationship advice for someone who hasn’t had a girlfriend yet.”
“Why’d you have to say it like that?!”
“You idiot, why’d you disappear like that?” Kagami looms over Kuroko, Kise’s eyes wide.
“What are you looking at?” Kagami sneers, staring down Kise. “What is she doing?!” He panics. Kagami turns around, seeing you confronting a much older boy on the basketball court behind them. “Y/N! What’s wrong with you– get out of there!” Kagami yells to no avail, feeling a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go help.” Kise pats him, guiding him towards the court.
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“I didn’t even know you played! Why didn’t you tell any of us?” Kise wails, stretching after the win against those thugs. “Tetsu knows. I played club basketball; none of you would’ve known.” You answer, feeling Tetsu’s fingers intertwine with yours. “How come you stopped?”
“I started to hate it. It made me hate myself.” You confess, the air suddenly becoming awkward. “Sorry! You just asked, so I answered.” You laugh, embarrassed at killing the mood. “You would’ve gotten crushed playing alone. You’re lucky we were there.” Kagami scolds.
“I still think I could’ve done it on my own.” You shrug, feeling Tetsu let go of your hand. His arm then wraps around your shoulders, pulling you in a little bit. “Please be careful next time. You might’ve gotten hurt.” You blush, stuttering over your words. “Y-You’re one to talk! You ran off with Kise without even telling me!”
“Did I not text you?” You flip open your phone, showing him a message from earlier that day. He then takes out his own phone, showing that his message wasn’t delivered. “Tetsu…!” You hit him on the head, his other hand rubbing over the spot. He noticed Kise looking at the two of you, more specifically him, giving him a look and a thumbs up before being tackled by their coach on the spot.
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The day before Seirin’s first preliminary match against Shinkyō, both you and Tetsu planned for him to come over to your house, since it was closer to the meeting spot the team had planned for the following day. He’d been working hard, balancing athletics and academics, managing to stay on top of both things with your help. Sometimes Kagami tagged along with the two of you, always worried he was third-wheeling.
This time, it was just you and him. You both got home after an evening outdoor court practice since Tetsu was so antsy, luckily you weren’t out for long. You looked over your notes, taking peeks over your book when you suddenly remembered that this was your own room.
Meaning there was only one bed.
Sure, Tetsu’s stayed over before, but you always insisted on sleeping on the floor since your relationship was just starting at the time and you didn’t wanna make it awkward. But now that you two were closer, you wondered if it would change.
“Tetsu, I can sleep on the floor again if you’d like.”
“No thanks. We can share.”
…Huh? Did he really just say that?
You two would be so close if you slept in your bed together, way too close, in fact. “Are you really okay with that?” You ask, making sure you’re fully awake by pinching yourself. He nods. “I am. Are you?” You break eye contact, trying to bury your face in your book. “I mean, as long as you’re okay with it…”
He gets up and turns on the lamp by your bed, turning off the main light and sitting down next to you. Meanwhile, you’re trying not to freak out being in such close proximity with him in your bed. You’re too busy freaking out that you don’t notice him taking your notes out of your hand and putting them on your desk. “We revised yesterday. We should be okay.”
“Oh, I know, I was just… I don’t know, looking over it.” You say, Tetsu getting back under the covers. “Is this too uncomfortable for you? I can sleep on the floor.” He seems to notice your distress by making that offer. “No, no, it’s okay! I just… haven’t shared a bed with anyone before, so this is kind of… new to me.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you or anything. I just figured since our previous sleepovers that this was okay.”
“It’s fine, Tetsu, really. I’ll just face the wall the entire night. I do kick in my sleep, though, just a warning.” He eyes you, his lips pursed shut for a moment. “Can I kiss you?”
“Eh…” Your face bursts into flames, flustered and shy at his sudden question. “WHAT?! Where did this come from…!?” You mutter, looking at your boyfriend’s completely monotone face. “I was told to ask you first in case you didn’t want to. Is this a no?”
“No,” you say repeatedly, panic imminent in your voice. “It was just so out of nowhere and so sudden and… I’m sorry for panicking but yes, you can kiss me but–“ Tetsu suddenly leans forward and presses his lips on yours, his hand then gently holding your jaw. Your eyes shut and so do his, your lips shifting and resting at a more comfortable position.
He pulls away, admiring every part of your face. “Is it too soon for this to happen?” He asks innocently, hand still resting on your jaw. “No. Why?” He leans in closer, your foreheads touching. “I want to do that again.” You smile, this time you initiate the kiss, planting your lips against his. This kiss was smoother, comfortable, his other hand holding you close to him as if you weren’t already close enough. Your lips glide awkwardly against his, but his follow every time you move.
Is this really what making out is?
You pull away after a few minutes, noticing the mix of disappointment and eagerness on Tetsu’s face. “We need to rest. You have a game tomorrow.” He pouts while you lean across him, turning off the lamp and laying back down. Your hands hold onto his arm while your head moves closer to his, resting on his shoulder.
“I love you, Y/N.”
Tetsu was full of surprises that night. Your heart begins to race at those three words, your face warming his shoulder. “Really? You mean it?” You feel him nod and turn his head, his chin resting atop of your head. “I understand if you aren’t ready to say it yet. I can wait.”
God, he was so patient with you, and that made you fall in love with him even more. “I love you too. Goodnight, Tetsu.” You feel him give you a peck on the top of your head, his arm wrapping around you and pulling you closer to him. He was so warm, his presence comforting, his hugs tight and secure, like he wanted the moment to last forever.
At the same time, he hoped the feeling of his own heart racing wouldn’t wake you up.
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You waited in the change room labelled for your school while waiting for the rest of the team to arrive. You both had left early in fear of arriving late, but the crosswalks were on your side today, and you got there way earlier than you should have.
You peeked out of the room every once in a while, none of the team outside making you panic. Until you remembered that you were supposed to meet up somewhere with all of them. You frantically turn around and pull out your phone, hearing Tetsu say your name.
“I texted Kagami already. He knows.” You let out a sigh of relief and walk over to Tetsu’s side of the room, sitting down next to him and letting your head fall on his shoulder. His hand ghosts over yours for a second before he finally holds it. “Shouldn’t you get changed?”
“We have time. I want to stay with you like this for a bit.” He says. You lean into his touch, drowning yourself in the sound of your own heartbeat. Your head turns, chin perked up on his shoulder to look at him. He notices, staring deep into your eyes like he could see the thoughts behind them.
“If you’re gonna kiss me, just do it.” You mutter with a smile, Tetsu taking the hint and leaning forward to kiss you. Your lips meet, the moment so sweet that you don’t hear the door open.
The sight of many bewildered second years appears out of the corner of your eye, prompting you to pull away and hide your face. “Hello.” Tetsu greets nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just have his lips on yours earlier. A symphony of shocked cries come from the second years.
“When–?!”
“You two are dating?”
“Why did we not notice…!?”
“I thought it was obvious! Didn’t Aida tell you? Kagami?” They look at you, still stunned. “Any of the first years?” They all shake their heads, leaving you surprised at their cluelessness. “They hold hands all the time, idiots, you think that regular friends do that normally?” Kagami sneers at their obliviousness.
“To be honest, they never told us. I didn’t think Kuroko was the type to start dating so early.” Hyūga admits. “And Kagami…” He starts. “Learn to respect your upperclassmen, okay?” Kagami flinches at his captain, immediately going to claim a locker.
You kiss Tetsu on the forehead before getting up. “Get changed, okay? You got this.” Before you can leave, he grabs your wrist.
Kagami watches as his duo says something to you, making you rush out of the room.
“What did you say?” He asks.
“I’ll win this game for her.”
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well, if i ever grow old… (old with you!)
i’m needin’ your hand to hold. (just us two!) 🎧
379 notes · View notes
sxtvrns · 1 year
Text
play the game, get the girl
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🎶 now playing: beautiful stranger - laufey
P: Koushi Sugawara x Fem!Reader
S: He sees you during a practice when you walk in with the team manager, late. What he doesn’t expect is to see you standing at the corner of a volleyball court for his games with a red flag in hand, and fall head over heels.
W: mild cursing, cute fluff, lack of knowledge about japanese school system + volleyball, haikyuu spoilers, VERY rushed, possible inaccuracy (i havent watched the show in two years)
N: I do scorekeeping during the volleyball season so I thought this was a cute thing to incorporate with one of the sweetest boys in the series. If the ending seems rushed, it is; I just needed to get something out of my drafts. L/N means last name, Y/N is your first name; this is in order to specify formalities. Apologies for anything that seems incorrect.
please interact if you enjoy!
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Your eyes just begin to flutter shut as the teacher writes lines and numbers on the chalkboard, the sound of it soothing to your ears and almost making you doze off, only for the bell to ring and dismiss you for cleaning time.
You don’t really pay attention when you wipe down the boards or sweep the floors, outside sounds drowned out by your own thoughts while you do your unspoken assigned job that everyone is aware of, which is how you manage to not bump into people.
The classroom door opens as you finish cleaning, the rest of the girls in your ‘group’ leaving while the boys gawk at your friend standing by the entrance. “Y/N, come with me. The team has practice and I need someone to testify why I’m late.” You nod, tossing an eraser into the bucket by the teacher’s desk.
“Hey, put this back!” A boy shouts, him goofing off earlier and getting barely any work done. “You can put it back when you’re done. I have work to do.” You say, shutting the door swiftly before walking to the gym with Kiyoko. It would make sense for her to come to you to be a witness for her tardiness, since you could come up with lies on the spot that people were gullible enough to believe.
The whole practice stops at the sound of the gym doors opening, Kiyoko holding the door open for you to follow behind. One of the coaches, seemingly, yelled from where he was in the gym at the two of you. “Where’ve you been? You interrupted practice!” Kiyoko looks down at the floor, a small pang of guilt hitting you seeing her embarrassment. “She had to do a make up test before clean up! Cut her some slack!” Your voice booms, the coach wanting to say something but going back to doing his job, as if he was intimidated.
Sure, there were still a few eyes on you; you could sense it, but you couldn’t care less since your friend muttered a quiet ‘thank you’ before she began to focus on the practice rather than the gym floor.
The sound of squeaky shoes and intense running and hitting filled the gym, along with the occasional cheer, call, or scream. Then came water break, Kiyoko getting up and passing the boys their bottles, which impressed you given the fact she knew who’s bottle belonged to who and what they looked like. Some of them didn’t even have names written on.
“Could you pass me that bottle?” A boy asks, standing in front of you with a finger pointed at a bottle that was practically prone to knocking over. You wonder why he wouldn’t grab it himself, but then remembered misinterpretation if someone were to look over at a certain angle. He mutters a ‘thanks’ with a smile, wiping his sweat off with a towel that hung around his neck. “Watch this for me?” You nod at his request, someone yelling right after.
“Oi, Suga! Stop flirting with the girl and get back on the court!” The boy with the shaved head yells, Suga’s face going slightly red as his teammates giggle while he runs back to his position.
To be fair, he seemed like a nice guy, being wary of your personal space and asking you to grab something rather than having you assume that he was going to touch you inappropriately. A small act that you held onto before remembering you had to go home.
Suga saw you whisper something to Kiyoko, handing her his bottle before you left the gym. He talked to her before leaving, the feeling he used to get while being able to talk to her not sending his heart racing. “She had to go home.”
“Then how come she came with you?”
“I needed an excuse since I was late.”
She handed him his water bottle before helping the juniors to take down the nets. Tanaka scared him once everyone was back in their club room, patting his older teammate on the back a little too hard before slinging an arm around his shoulder. “Lucky bastard! Did ya’ flirt with her?”
Her, being Kiyoko. “No. She just gave me my water bottle.”
“The bottle the other girl watched for you, huh? She must’ve gotten bored not seeing you on the court.”
“She’s pretty. No wonder she’s friends with Shimizu.” Asahi chimed, the door opening to reveal the juniors standing there, tired. “Are you guys talking about L/N?” The seniors look at Hinata, befuddled. “You know her?” Daichi asks. “I run into her sometimes at Sakanoshita. She’s usually talking to Coach there.”
“What do they talk about? How do you even know her name?” Suga asks, tidying up his things. “I overheard him say L/N. At least, I think that’s her name. Apparently she’s been doing volleyball related things outside of school, and Coach asks her about it. Teams, players, I don’t remember what else.” Tsukishima scoffs. “What are you, some kind of stalker?” Hinata fumes and tries to pounce on the blonde before being held back by Tanaka.
“I haven’t seen her on the girls team. What could she be doing?” Daichi ponders aloud, bag slinging over his shoulder. “I pass by her sometimes, and I have a class or two with her, but she doesn’t speak unless spoken to.” Suga says.
“You haven’t said hi?” Asahi stands by the door with Daichi, waiting for his other friend. “Today was a lucky circumstance.” Suga slings his bag in over his shoulder, leaving the room last out of the three of them.
“Suga’s got a thing for Kiyoko’s friend!” Tanaka yells, the last thing that Suga hears before the door shuts behind them.
He sighs, his two friends giggling for a reason he was too tired to decipher.
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“How’s my team? Pretty good, yeah?” Ukai asked as you look a long sip from your milk carton, shrugging. “I’ll see you at your match against Tokonami.” He cocks an eyebrow, wondering how you know their opponent. “You’re on the sheet?” You shake your head, the sound of the door of the shop sliding open, followed by Ukai yelling out a loud greeting. “Flag. I’m not cheating you guys points for free meat buns.”
Ukai’s eyes move from you to the person who just entered. “Skipped breakfast again, Suga?” Your eyes widen at the name, head turning to see him standing right beside you, waiting. “Couldn’t pack anything for later, and I’m busy during lunch break.” Suga says before noticing you leaning over the counter. He lets out a sheepish ‘hi’ with a bow before you bow back, exchanging some cash for his lunch.
“Suga.” Ukai calls, the boy’s head perking up at the sound of his name. “Take L/N with you. She’s gonna be late to school again because she keeps ‘forgetting to keep track of the time’.” Sarcasm slips off Ukai’s tongue as he makes fun of you, your mouth spewing one-sided insults back at him as you follow Suga out of the shop.
It’s mostly an awkward silence for the first few minutes of the walk, the urge to drown yourself in your own thoughts there, but something’s holding you back from doing it. “How are you so close with Coach?” Suga asks. The formality being used off the court surprises you, but it’s probably better than just calling him Ukai.
“He found out I worked in volleyball games outside of school. It’s all we ever talk about, really.” Suga’s head perks up. “You play?” The question has you struggling to answer. “Not necessarily. I’ll be at your Interhigh match.” The lack of detail makes him want to ask about you more, but is worried that he’d be prying if he were to ask.
“Do you have practice after school today? Kiyoko might ask me to go with her again.” The boy nods with a closed lip smile. “How come you left early?” Suga asked, the answer Shimizu gave lacking detail. “The invite was… sudden. I had plans and couldn’t stay for long. I would’ve stayed for a little bit longer.” You half-lie. “And you’re coming? Today?” Suga confirms. This time you nod, approaching the gates of the school.
“I’ll see you then?” He says, half question half statement. “Yeah. See you.”
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“Suga!” You walk up to him in the halls, seeing him with two boys you also saw at his practice; one with short hair and the other with his tied up. “I had an extra and I know you didn’t pack lunch, so…” You hand him a bottle of ice tea, the gesture making your face heat up unknowingly to your peer. He smiles, taking it from you.
“Thanks, L/N. I needed this. I have to talk to these two for the rest of break.” He gestures to his friends, who you now realize they’ve been looking at you the whole time. “That’s what you’re so busy with?” Suga shrugs, taking a sip from the bottle. “Duty calls.” He jokes, bowing before retreating into the mostly empty room behind him.
The run-in has Daichi and Asahi pestering their friend about you later that day before practice. “She knew you didn’t have lunch? And she had a whole extra bottle of tea? No way this wasn’t planned.” Daichi exclaimed, Suga chuckling at his friend. “We ran into each other this morning. She was talking to Coach, and she’s watching our game next week.”
“Eh?! Did you invite her?” Asahi asks, surprised at Suga’s supposed boldness. “She said she works in volleyball games, whatever that means.” The gym doors open to reveal the antennae being set up, you at the farther end. Coach Ukai was at the other, adjusting the height before hooking it on to the bottom of the net.
“L/N!” Suga calls, sending you a wave when you look his way. You wave back, double checking the antennae before going to check the other, sliding it down a little bit. “You set it up all by yourself?” He asks. “Mostly. I came a little earlier since I had nothing else to do after cleaning. Kiyoko and Ukai came in after I set up the poles.”
You hand him his bottle. “Kiyoko told me to refill this for you.” He takes a quick sip from the bottle before responding. “Thanks. Where is she, anyways?” You shrug. “Refilling the rest. I don’t know why she only gave me yours.” Suga lets out a soft chuckle, giving you a pat on the shoulder before putting it down on the bench.
“What the hell was that, Suga?” Daichi sneers, letting out a laugh at the end. “I don’t know, it just happened! Impulse decision?” Asahi pat his grey haired friend on the shoulder mockingly, Suga brushing his friend’s hand off. “Stop that.” He muttered.
“What are they laughing about?” Kiyoko says after coming out of nowhere, startling you after standing behind you since who knows when. “I don’t know.” You answer, sitting down on the bench with your friend after the boys go on the court. “Have you ever thought about managing?” Kiyoko asks, eyes focused on the boys warming up.
“I have. I’d be too busy; it’d conflict with my work schedule, you know that. Besides, we’re both graduating this year and asking me to manage seems… pointless.” She lets out a sigh that seems to drown out Ukai’s yelling. “I know. I’m… struggling a little bit to find someone to replace me.” You give her a nudge. “Have you talked to the first years yet?” She shakes her head. “Only second. I should’ve thought of that first.”
“Damn right, you should’ve.” You mutter.
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Days pass by and the Tokonami match approaches; you stand by the scoresheet desk as you clip your hair up, the bag for the flags on the ground by your feet. You sign the sheet, sitting on the bench wondering why the teams haven’t arrived when it’s 10 minutes to warm up time.
“Y/N!” Someone calls, attention drawn to Kiyoko and the Karasuno team standing by the open doors. You wave at each other, the down referee talking to you for a moment just long enough to have your school’s team situated at their bench when you turned back around. “I thought spectators were supposed to be up there?” She jokes, making you roll your eyes. “I am working right now, okay? Some of us have jobs, Kii.” Your friend is pulled aside to talk to the down ref.
“L/N? Shouldn’t you be in the stands?” Suga asks, slightly confused. “I’m working. I’m doing line judge for your game.” You explain. “Do you do the sheet as well?” You nod. “Sometimes, yeah. I can be qualified as a referee next year.” Suga’s face lights up. “Really? That’s so cool!”
His reaction has you a little bit flustered. “I-It’s nothing, really…” You cross your arms, cringing at your stutter.
“No, really, it is! How much do you get paid?”
“Around 16 hundred per hour.” (¥1600 = ~$16)
“That’s pretty good.”
“Right?”
You notice Hinata and his friend prepare for an attack, but everything happens so fast. One second the ball is set and the other the ball hits the ground with a hard, loud smack. It makes you jump. You haven’t seen a quick attack like that before. “What the hell?” You mutter. Suga chuckles, looking at you. “You haven’t seen them do it in practice?”
“I was talking to Kiyoko the whole time and I space out easily, okay? Jesus, man, what year are they in?”
“First.”
“First?!”
Your reaction makes Suga laugh, the whole conversation seeming one-sided now as all he responds with is giggles. “You’re telling me they’re first years managing to do shit like that?!” He’s struggling to contain his laughter. “Hey,” he snickers, “watch your language or you’re gonna get fired!”
“I don’t think anyone really cares.”
“Suga! We’re warming up!” The shaved headed boy calls. “You can talk to your girlfriend after we win!” The libero teases. “Sorry about them. I’ve gotta–“
“Suga?”
“Hm?”
You send him two thumbs up. “Good luck!”
He smiles. “Thank you.”
The down ref eyes both of you. “Is he your boyfriend? I hope you won’t be cheating off points.”
“God, no, why does everyone think that?”
The ref blows the whistle after a few more minutes of warming up, signaling for the teams to get off the court. You unwrap the flag, waving it around. You wave it up, then down with a loud snap just to test it out. Luckily, the other games hadn’t started yet, so you wouldn’t get scolded by the ref before the game even begun. Giving a high five to the other line judge, you walk onto the court.
The ball is hit onto Karasuno’s side of the court, but your flag is raised, a finger pointing at the antennae still wiggling in the air. The point goes to your school after the ref gives you a nod.
The game progresses, for almost every time Tokonami hit the ball on your side of the court, your flag went up. They hit a few line shots, but they still couldn’t catch up, your school dominating and winning both sets straight. To see the quick attack again was… quite exhilarating. It always caught you off guard despite seeing it played multiple times and it being the main source of points.
Signing off on the sheet, you catch up with your school’s team, scaring Kiyoko by pouncing on her out of nowhere, giving her a tight hug. You let go of her and see your other friend lurking behind you. “Suga!” You give him a double high five, which he returns before giving him a hard pat on the back. “You did it!” You cheer, not noticing the gentle grip he has on your wrists since you were practically flailing around. It was the first win of your school you’ve seen in a while, so this was a valid reason to be so excited.
And it was a damn good game too.
“Are you watching the other games? I’m doing sheet for another match.” He shakes his head, which makes you slightly disappointed. “Will you be at the next game?” He asks, you nodding with a grin. The moment you realize he was holding your wrists, you panic and come up with some sort of excuse. “I’ll see you then, I gotta go. Bye.” You murmur quickly, unsure if he heard.
The team leaves the gym, Suga catching up with his coach. “Is she always like that? She isn’t usually so… jumpy.” He says, not wanting to be rude. “L/N’s like that when she sees good games. Gets her all pumped. It’s like… the energy flows off the court and out into the crowd, y’know? Maybe it’s because it’s her school’s first win she’s seen in a while.”
“Are you saying we played good today, Coach?” Daichi asks. Ukai pauses for a moment.
“You did good today, but we can be better.”
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“Come on, man, just do it!” Tanaka encourages.
“You have a perfectly valid reason to offer it as well!” Nishinoya adds.
“I don’t really know if I should trust the two most hopeless romantics on the team.” Suga says. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” One of them yells, the club door opening. “What’s going on?” Ennoshita asks, trailing beside Daichi. “Suga wants to ask L/N on a date.” Nishinoya teases, making kissy noises until his teammate hits him on the head. “I’m kinda worried about Y– L/N. She usually walks with Shimizu but since she left early, she has to walk home alone.”
“Then Suga wants to walk her home and profess his undying love on the way!” Tanaka jokes. “‘Oh, L/N, I love you sooo much!’” Nishinoya mocks, the second years laughing before Suga knocks them both on the head. “To be fair, Suga, you do make it quite obvious that you’re attracted to her.” Daichi chuckles, packing his bag. “I do?”
“Ever since the Date Tech match, you two have been talking a lot and you tend to freeze up sometimes when she smiles.” Asahi points out, unintentionally embarrassing his friend. “I do not!” He denies, rummaging through his bag for a new shirt. “Suga, you froze last practice when you two looked at each other and you missed the set.” Daichi says. Tanaka and Nishinoya snicker, Suga glaring at the two.
“Suga, you left your water on the–“ Multiple shirtless men stare at you after you open the door, immediately slamming it shut.
Embarrassment and heat rushes to your face. To think that your eyes immediately darted to Suga, who was also shirtless, first thing? Absolutely humiliating. The one time you decide not to knock, you walk in on your friend half naked. What are the chances? You’ve seen other teams shirtless, so why should you care? It wasn’t that big of a deal so why were you blushing?
Your hands cover your face, the warmth of it making you realize how flustered you are. “L/N, are you okay?” Hinata asks, noticing you curled up into a ball on the ground by the club door. You give him a thumbs up, not looking at any of the first years that followed behind him. You get up, brushing yourself off and letting the cool air calm you down.
The door opens again, Suga looking back inside the room and saying something before his eyes land on you. “Y/N.” He mutters to himself. “I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked first!” You apologize, bowing profusely until his hand rests on the top of your head. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Though, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen someone so… flustered.” He says calmly, chuckling awkwardly at the end, the blush on your cheeks growing just as it was starting to go away.
You hand him his water bottle, which he accepts with a smile, taking a quick drink before asking you something. “Um…” He hums, bringing your attention back to him. He looks nervous, as if he’s trying to say something but can’t seem to get the words out. “Well, Shimizu usually walks with you but since she left, I don’t want you walking in the dark alone and–“
“Yeah, sure.”
“Huh?”
“You can walk with me. I was actually gonna ask you but… I chickened out.” The fact that both of you had thought of the same thing relieved Suga a little bit. “How’d you know I was gonna ask?” He asks, descending the stairs of the club rooms with you. “Sometimes you make things very obvious, Suga.”
“I do?”
“Well, obvious for people that are smart enough.”
You gesture to yourself with a grin, your friend laughing. “I hope you do well against Aoba Johsai. Oikawa keeps flirting with me and Kiyoko despite being scared off repeatedly.” A pang of jealousy hits Suga for a split second, followed by curiosity. “Who scares him off? The coach?” You shake your head. “I do. Sometimes the referee steps in, and all he does is stare at him until he runs off.”
The image of the referee giving Oikawa a death stare makes Suga laugh. You open your phone after it buzzes, seeing a text message from your mom; a message that said she left for work already and that there was food on the table to be reheated.
You catch Suga looking at your phone, closing it shut. “I don’t have a lot of people in my contacts, so there’s nothing interesting that you can snoop on.” He laughs, an idea popping into his head. “Can I have your number?” He asks. Though a friendly question, you think more of it and decide to raise the stakes. “If you win against Aoba Johsai, I’ll give you my number.”
“Really? What if we don’t?”
You shrug.
“Who knows.”
Suga pauses for a moment.
“Deal.”
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The rally for victory continues and seems never-ending, the sight of your school so determined nearly distracting you from your job. The score is way too close, with your school behind by one. 31 to 32.
Oikawa suddenly yells as Hinata prepares for his attack; three men on Aoba Johsai jump with their arms up, to change routes around the block being too late. A loud smack reverberates off Hinata’s hand and off the hands of the blockers, bouncing off their hand and onto the ground, where three other players lay in the ground as they failed to keep it in play.
Loud screams erupt from Johsai’s side of the gym, though all you can focus on is your school’s side of the court, the shock nearly making you drop your flag. The referee has to remind you to move to the other side for the teams to line up, the slip of paper in your pocket nearly tearing with how tight your grip is on it.
You borrow the scoresheet’s pen and quickly write down a note on your slip, signing the sheet after. You’re so overwhelmed by the upset that you don’t notice that you’re crying until you spend a long time in the bathroom trying to comprehend what just happened, staring at yourself in the mirror for longer than you thought. Some girls passed by, most of them asking if you were okay, and you only nodded, knowing that you’d start crying again if you tried to speak.
You left the bathroom feeling empty from letting that all out, deciding to leave the gymnasium entirely since you didn’t have anymore games to do. Running into Aoba Johsai now would be a really bad idea.
While walking mindlessly, you see a familiar jacket and a bunch of blonde hair entering a building. You stop at the door about to enter when you realize they managed to get in before the place was even open. Suddenly, the door slides open, an old woman greeting you and welcoming you in, though you deny her offer and instead ask her to get Ukai to come outside. For a split second, you notice the team crying silently as they eat, tears flowing down their face as they stuff their faces with mounds and mounds of food.
Ukai steps out, shutting the door before sighing. “How’d you find us? Nevermind that, do you wanna eat? It’s on me.” You shake your head, the words you want to say stuck in your throat. “Were you crying?” Ukai points out, this time you shake your head harder, fed up. “Could you just give this to Suga for me? Please?” You hand him the slip from earlier, all crumpled from holding it in a closed fist in your pocket, as well as a bottle of the same ice tea you gave him a while ago.
“Can’t ‘ya just do it yourself? I thought you two were already going out.” You hit him over and over until he agrees. “Ouch, ow– okay, I’ll give it to him! Geez, are you sure you don’t wanna eat?” You nod, bowing before you leave.
Ukai waits until the entire team finishes eating and leaves the restaurant to catch up with him. “Suga.” The boy turns around, looking at his coach. “L/N said to give this to you.” Suga’s eyes widen at the bottle, taking it eagerly. Ukai drops the slip of paper into Suga’s other hand before giving him a pat on the back.
Suga is seated next to Asahi on the bus, the ace staring out the window mindlessly at the sky. The paper had writing on it, he noticed after unfolding it.
You did a great job today. I’m proud of you.
He flips the slip over to see a phone number, realizing that it’s yours.
He never opened his contacts so quickly.
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“Kiyoko, what are we waiting for?” You ask her, as both of you have been standing outside the open gym doors for what felt like forever. “I found a new manager. She should be here by now.” You drag her inside. “I’m sure she knows where to go, we should just sit down.”
“L/N!” Someone calls, that person jumping onto you and hugging you tight. “Hitoka?! What are you doing here!?” She lets go, looking at Kiyoko and freezing for a second. “Shimizu offered for me to become a volleyball club manager, and I said yes because I didn’t really have any club activities.” She half-lies, unbeknownst to you.
“To be honest, I didn’t really know you came here…” You mutter, Hitoka overhearing and pouting a little. “Well… we lost contact over the years, but I think our parents still talk a little. My mom told me you went here but I haven’t been able to find you.” She laughs awkwardly.
“You two know each other?” Kiyoko asks. “I used to babysit her when her mom went to work; we were really close when we were younger.” You ruffle Hitoka’s hair. “L/N, are you a manager too?” You shake your head. “I just come to watch. Kiyoko drags me here.” She gives you a playful nudge. “You come here to gawk at Sugawara whenever he’s on the court. I’ve caught you staring at him while he’s shirtless.”
“Shut up, I do not! You said that so loud!” Your face goes red as you playfully hit your friend, who’s laughing at you. Only then do you realize the amount of eyes on you, luckily Suga’s not being one of them. You nudge Kiyoko while Hitoka stands behind you, peeking out while your friend introduces their new manager.
The new manager squeaks and turns away, catching you off guard. “Hitoka, are you okay?” You look at whatever made her look away, regretting it instantly. Of course it had to be the boys shirtless, changing out of their school uniforms. including your... friend? It wasn’t until then that you remembered what happened last time, this time focusing on the ground.
“Y/N has a really big crush on Sugawara.” Kiyoko teases.
“Shut up.”
“You know that I’m not wrong.”
“And I hate that you’re right.”
It was true; you did have somewhat of a thing for your… friend. Who could blame you, you two hung out a lot ever since their loss to Aoba Johsai. He’s sweet, caring, and has one hell of an athletic bod. Not that you looked at him on purpose, it was always an accident.
Majority of the time it was an accident.
“Can I look now?” Hitoka asks, Kiyoko confirming with a laugh as the other manager turns around.
“Y/N, can you hold this?” Suga suddenly hands you his sweatshirt he always wears out of nowhere. One second he was on one side of the gym and the next he’s right in front of you. “Were you planning to wear that the whole practice?” You laugh, beginning to fold it instinctively. “I was cold.” He says before running back to his warm up partner. You turn and see Kiyoko staring at you. “Since when were you two on a first name basis?” She says with a smirk on her face. “First off, no one calls him by his first name and second, like… a few weeks ago? He said it by accident but I was fine with it.”
“Sugawara wouldn’t stop showing us the note you gave him at the practice you didn’t come to. He’s in love with you.”
The image of him seemingly so excited made your face go warm.
“I’m literally going to make Ukai fire you.”
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“Suga! L/N not with you?” Daichi greets his friend, a bit surprised by your absence. “She’s with Shimizu right now. She’ll catch up with exam scores later.” Immediate worry rushes to the captain. “I really hope that Hinata and Kageyama pass…” He says, hand planted on his forehead. The other two third years remembered about the training camp, also hoping the same thing.
“I’m sure we did fine. As for the youngins…” Suga cuts himself off, not really having an answer for his statement. “What if they all fail and they can’t come to the training camp?” Asahi’s face darkens, Suga whacking him on the head. “There you go again! Negative goatee!”
“Suga, you seemed really excited talking about the scores. You’re usually worried and have your fingers crossed half the time.” Daichi points out, observing his friend’s content demeanour. “Well, Y/N kinda raised the stakes for me in a way…” His friends cock an eyebrow, intrigued. “Did she bribe you?” The captain asks, a hint of anger in his tone.
“No, no, it’s nothing like that! It’s just… I kind of told her I liked her during one of our study sessions.” His friends’ mouths hang slightly open, yelling almost a little too loud. “And you were gonna tell us this when?!” Daichi shakes him by the shoulders, Asahi trying to intervene. “What did she say?” The ace stops Daichi’s freak out to let Suga speak.
“She said that if I passed all my exams, she’ll start going out with me.” Asahi pats his friend on the back with a smile. “You got this in the bag, Suga! You’ve passed every year with flying colours!” It surprised Suga a little bit, seeing him so positive about his love life. “I don’t know if I should be more surprised about your boldness or the fact that you two have been studying together.” Daichi interrupts, eyeing Suga.
“I asked her first. She’s a good teacher.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re practically in love with her.” Asahi teases.
“Maybe, but I’ve passed all my exams so far, so I’m not wrong.”
“Is it a habit of hers to keep betting on things like this?” Daichi asks, remembering the Aoba Johsai phone number occasion. “I see it as a motivational thing.” Suga says, his friends sighing, both of them saying the same thing. “Of course you do…”
Time ticks and the bell rings, Suga anxiously waiting in his seat for his name to be called. He practically rushes up to the front when it does, almost embarrassingly fast, his classmates wondering how one could not be nervous. College preparatory exams surely had much more pressure put on them.
The passing grade is 40 points, majority of Suga’s exams within 75-86 points. The glee he had on his face showing you all his papers made you blush, knowing he wanted this as much as you did. Hard work came with small, celebratory moments.
“Welcome in!” Ukai yells at the sound of the door sliding open, pausing at the sight of both of you laughing. “L/N! Suga! How were exams?” You hold up your paper, a large 87 written in red in the corner. “I beat him by one.” Suga playfully shoves you, showing Ukai his score of 86. “So you’ll be coming to the training camp! Sorry, L/N, team only.” You shrug. “Obviously. Did anybody fail on your team?” You ask Suga, him shaking his head.
“No, not that I know of. Daichi probably does, but I didn’t see him after lunch.”
“That’s because you came looking for me first thing and not your teammates.”
Ukai eyes both of you, sensing something but not saying anything of it. “You two are here for the meat buns, I assume.” Both of you nod, Ukai denying your payment, saying it was a reward for doing well. You end up shoving your cash down his hoodie, dragging Suga out the shop with you.
“Old man is so persistent…” You mutter, Suga laughing before beginning to eat. “Suga… when you told me you liked me, and when I placed our relationship on the line, I had faith in you.” He swallows, looking confused. “What do you mean?” You take a bite of your own bun before you answer. “You’re a smart kid, Suga. I knew you were going to pass regardless of the bet.”
“So you’re saying the whole bet thing was already you saying yes? That you’d go out with me?”
You nod. “See, you’re smart. But I do have one thing I want between us.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t really want anybody else to know about this yet. Are you okay with keeping this between us?” Suga suddenly remembers telling his friends about the whole bet during lunch; the only thing he can do now is pray and hope that they somehow forget about it.
“Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
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As if God was watching over him, Asahi and Daichi quite literally forgot about the whole bet, but only remembered the part where Suga said that he confessed his feelings to you. When asked about it, he didn’t provide an answer and simply requested for them to keep it a secret.
He made it unintentionally sound like you rejected him, which, in Suga’s favour, made them assume you didn’t like him, which was surprising to them.
His phone buzzed, revealing a text from you.
Hi~! How’s the camp going?
He smiles to himself before responding.
We lost our match today :( Turns out Hinata and Kageyama had to take make up exams and they came late
Who drove them all the way to Tokyo?? ಠ_ಠ
Tanaka’s sister did. She’s a lifesaver.
Tell me if anyone is hitting on Kiyoko. I’ll kick their ass.
What if you get fired for that?
Technically it won’t be during my work hours, my reputation just might be ruined. I don’t mind.
You say all these things but never go through with them ( ̄^ ̄)ゞ
Because I’m not an idiot! I will probably kick someone’s ass if they tried to hit on Kiyoko though. Is Hitoka okay? Not… overwhelmed by the amount of boys?
( ̄▽ ̄) She’s okay. I’ll let her know you checked in.
“Who are you texting?” Bokuto peeks over Suga’s shoulder, Hinata going on his tip toes to look as well. “L/N. She was just checking in.” Realization dawns upon the Fukurodani player. “Ah, L/N! She was a line judge at one of my games! I wonder if she still remembers me.” Suga’s phone buzzes again, another message from you.
Have fun, okay? Don’t get too worked up, you’ll be forced to be friends with your opponents. Stay safe, take care \(^ω^)/<3
Suga tries to hide the giddiness that grows in him after he read your message.
Thank you~ Sleep well ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
“Suga, who are you texting? You’ve been smiling like an idiot this whole time.” Daichi sits down in front of him, beginning to eat. The giddiness has failed to hide and reached his face. “Um… no one in particular.” He lies, putting his phone back in his pocket. At this point Bokuto’s been messing around the cafeteria, being reprimanded by one of his managers.
“Don’t worry about it. My friend is just checking in.” The word ‘friend’ soon has him wondering what terms you two are on now. You two were still friends, but it was certainly something more than that. You were both going out, but was there a label he could put on it that made sense?
Every single day after training, he’d open his phone and check for a text from you. If there wasn’t any, he’d text you first. His team members had caught onto his behaviour, sometimes watching from outside the room for a bit before entering.
Asahi saw Nishinoya lurking outside their team room, staring through the window. “Noya, what are you doing?” He asks, a bit bothered. “Suga’s giggling at his phone right now. I think it’s kinda funny, so I’m watching from here.” Confusion is plastered on the ace’s face. “Why don’t you just go inside?”
“Because if I do, he’ll try to hold in his laughs and hide his face and it won’t be as funny!” Asahi sighs in disbelief that his friend would do something as ridiculous as this, but ends up watching with him, understanding why it was so interesting. Sometimes he’d burst out laughing or he just ends up giggling like a schoolgirl, all while staring at his phone.
Kiyoko stood at the other window with not as good of an angle of the inside, taking a dinky little picture of Suga smiling at his phone and sending it to you.
Look at what you’re doing to your little boyfriend.
The photo makes you equally giggle behind your own screen.
Is he really that excited to talk to me?
I think he’s been deprived of you for a bit. You should come here.
I’d get kicked out! And there is no way I’m getting my mom to drive me all the way to Tokyo to a camp that doesn’t allow visitors.
You’re gonna miss out on barbecue on the last day then.
Tempting, but no
Kiyoko are you just persuading me because you miss me~
I don’t. Your boyfriend does though
How is he?
Don’t you have his number? Ask him yourself
Woww so rude
^ - ^
He’ll make it without me, I’m sure. I’ve just been checking in
Yeah and he falls even more whenever he sees a text from you
Shouldn’t you be doing manager things right now? Get back to work (c" ತ,_ತ)
He’s getting all pouty now because you haven’t been responding
You ignore Kiyoko, opening Suga’s contact instead.
The show of your boyfriend’s fits of giggles continued, this time with a bigger audience watching from the outside windows.
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To say Suga missed you was a bit of an understatement. He practically needed to see you. The urge to hug you and spin you around in front of his team, look at you but decided to keep it on the low as you preferred, leaving his team at Sakanoshita when they decided to grab a quick snack from their coach.
He personally walked all the way to your house, standing outside your gate rather than ringing on the doorbell, pulling out his phone.
Y/N~ Are you awake yet?
Of course I am, it’s 4 in the afternoon…
You tend to take naps around this time though..(_ _).。o○
How was the bus ride? Are you home yet?
I’m outside
Outside? What do you mean?
Is it okay if I stay for a bit?
Almost immediately, the front door opens, the biggest smiles plastered on both of your faces. You don’t bother changing out of your slippers, running out the door, opening the gate and hugging him for the first time in what felt like ages.
“I missed you.” He says, the tension between the two of you growing. “I missed you too. You and your stupid grey hair and stupid face.” You pinch his cheek like a mom would, him wincing with a laugh. “Kiyoko sent a photo of you texting me.” His face drops, worried about what it was. “She said you were giggling and pouting at your phone. Do I really make you that excited?”
“Well, yeah, you’re my… girlfriend. I think. I don’t really know what terms we’re on.” You burst into laughter at his confusion. “I thought we already figured that out! I’ve been calling you my boyfriend all this time.” The formality echoes in Suga’s head. Boyfriend. He was your boyfriend. And you were his girlfriend.
“You never really said it in person… and you never mentioned it over text.” He defends, following you into your house. “Because you didn’t ask. But I guess I should’ve been more transparent about it.” You shrug, taking the blame. “I should’ve gotten you something from Sakanoshita… I was with the team for a bit but just decided to come here.”
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. My mom’s gonna ask you to stay for dinner anyways.”
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Keeping your relationship a secret was a bit challenging, yet every time you almost got caught, you played it off and it made you realize how naïve men really are.
You’ve managed to keep it hidden all the way up to the Shiratorizawa match, which impressed you, given how many times you nearly gave in to the urge of PDA.
When both schools began to warm up, Hinata and Kageyama’s quick sending gasps across the gym. Suga’s hands are clasped together, his teammates surrounding him as you watch the setter try to warm them up in a panic. You abandon the scoresheet desk, since you weren’t doing much other than small talk with the referee.
“Suga.” He sees you walking over to him, embarrassed but also confused. “Y/N, what are you–“ Your hands clasp over his for a moment, guiding both of them to his cheeks, which, as expected, are warm. Your hands still rest on top of his, pulling his face in for a quick peck on his forehead. “Good luck. You got this.” You let go, Suga’s face bright red and looking like a kettle about to boil over.
The rest of his teammates wail in surprise, surrounding him and asking an abundance of questions.
“What the hell was that?!”
“You two are dating!?”
“When were you going to tell us?”
Kiyoko’s mouth hangs slightly open at your bold move, following you as you move from their bench to the scoresheet desk. The down ref eyes you and #2 on Karasuno. “You aren’t going to shift the game because you two are going out, aren’t you?” The assumption has you rolling your eyes. “I’m not stupid, I’d get fired. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.” You reassure, the ref shrugging.
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You leave the gym after holding in your tears for what felt like forever, eyes meeting with Suga’s first thing. You immediately burst into tears, head buried into his shoulder. “Oi, if you don’t stop, I’ll start crying again.” He laughs, making you pull away and wipe your face. “I’m sorry, I’m just… I’m so proud of you and your team. That spike was amazing.” His thumb strokes your cheek, pulling you in for another hug.
“As much as we are all astounded you two are finally going out… does Y/N need a ride?” Ukai interrupts, you responding with a nod.
The entire walk to the bus, you take pride in being able to hold your boyfriend’s hand without worrying about everything like you used to. The sight was certainly something the team would have to get used to, but it wasn’t horrible. Mostly.
They had a field day after Tanaka yelled out that you two were kissing in a bus full of tired teenage boys.
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beautiful stranger, catching my stare. it’s fate we collided right then, back there. 🎧
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