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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 1 year

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Inutilia Truncat

Pairing: Sketchbook (Kaisa/Johanna)

Summary: Inutilia truncat: one of the five latim mottos of the arcadist, or neoclassical movement. Literally translates to "cut out that which is not useful"

Kaisa is an English and History major in the University of Trolberg. Her biggest pride has always been excelling in everything she set herself to, at whatever cost. One of her seminars, however, has been a hinderance to her, leaving the girl with no choice but to swallow her pride and seek out the one person who seems to know what they're doing better than her.

Notes: YAAAAAAAY I'm posting again!! You guys, You've no idea how freaking happy I was when the idea for this fic struck me in like, late November (thanks to that flower anon, whose fic I still want to read :’)) and I was able to write again. I hope you enjoy this as much as I've been enjoying working on it

Also, amazing news!! For the first time ever, I have a beta reader! Huuuuge thank you to @waddles-ex-machina for not only letting me ramble to her about this verse, but also for proof reading this so kindly. You made the process of working on this fic even more fun <3

One last thing before I allow you to go on and read it, please be mindful that all of my knowledge on the inner workings of universities outside of my country comes from reading other college aus and watching Monster’s University. And that is *it*. So I am asking you to suspend your disbelief and focus on the gays instead of the logic

Read it on ao3

Kaisa barely refrained from snapping the pencil she was holding in two. It had happened again.

Of course, what she did instead was take a deep breath and swiftly wriggle her way out of the mass of students that were heading to the English department’s notice board. It wasn’t out of shame that she went away; regardless of not being in the top of that class, her score had been high enough to be proud of, even for her. Rather, it was because being in the middle of a crowd only ever made her feel uncomfortable, and because with her current state of nerves she wouldn’t put it past her to snap one of her classmates in half.

And it was all because of her.

Kaisa had spent her first two years in college delighting in the classes taught by professors who shared their scores publicly. Up until now, she had been consistently getting the highest grades out of everyone who took the same disciplines as her, acing every test and perfectly completing every assignment. Any voices who insisted that she hadn’t deserved her scholarship, that she wasn’t smart enough, that her getting upper education was a waste of time had either been silenced or become inaudible in the bubble of self satisfaction that Kaisa had painstakingly managed to submerge herself in.

That is, of course, until she signed up for the neoclassicism seminar this semester and had begun constantly getting lower grades than that damned Art History major. Kaisa had nothing against her, personally. Though the girl’s far-too-bright personality had startled her on their first day of class - nothing wrong with the greeting, Kaisa just wasn’t used to people on campus talking to her for no apparent reason, and really, why did this random student introduce herself to her on the first day completely out of the blue? - she hadn’t given much thought to her until the first grade came out on the History department’s notice board. Kaisa’s essay, which she had worked on through the night until it was flawless in her eyes, had still scored lower than that of the person she’d begun to think of as Golden Retriever Girl.

It wasn’t that Kaisa didn’t know her name. After so many graded assignments (and this professor in particular liked them a lot), she’d had enough chances to stare at Golden Retriever Girl’s name to memorise it five times over. And Johanna Magnolia Pearson would somehow, magically, inexplicably, always score higher than Kaisa.

Though the first few times it had happened Kaisa had only swallowed down her frustration and promised herself to work harder next time, it had become a bothersome pattern and something that was actually causing her irritation even when she wasn’t actively thinking about it. It was, therefore, something she had to fix immediately, because an irritated mind can’t focus, can’t be productive, and can only disappoint.

If she talked to Tildy, the woman who had been her mother for as long as her mind could remember, and the very reason she had been given a chance at university, she was sure she’d be dismissed as worrying over a non-issue, and be told she should be proud to be the second best student on the seminar. She couldn’t blame her for it; Tildy had been with her all the time, but she hadn’t lived her life. She couldn’t know what it was like to have to prove yourself all the time to the people around you.

So she couldn’t go to Tildy, which meant she had to solve it herself. And though she could try simply copying Golden Retriever Girl’s actions - sitting in the front seats, asking lots of questions and being extremely active in class discussions - that couldn’t possibly be where she was failing, since her trustworthy seat at the back corners and her strategy of silently observing and jotting down notes on her notebook had never failed her on any of her other disciplines. Neither did she think that muscling through this course even harder was the answer. If she pushed herself any harder, Kaisa was actually afraid she might faint, and that would definitely affect her efficiency.

Bracing herself for the task ahead, Kaisa balled her fists by her side and stiffly walked down the two flights of stairs that led to the courtyard, leaving the mass of desperate students behind her fighting to see their grades. If she wanted to talk to anyone else in her seminar, she’d simply wait for them by the notice board until they managed to get a glimpse at their score on their latest exam. But not Golden Retriever Girl. No, for some reason, she never stayed to look at the score sheet with all of their grades as soon as they were divulged like the rest of them, instead climbing down those stairs to head to places unknown after every single lecture. Not that Kaisa had been observing her. That would have been creepy.

The Humanities building, unlike the other ones in their university, was very quaint and old-styled, due to it having been the first to be built, shortly after the founding of Trolberg. Kaisa climbed down the stone stairs, and the tall ceilings made her steps echo. Autumn had barely begun, so it was still relatively warm outside and the inside was fresh without having to be cooled. The scent of grass became noticeable once the first flight was over, making Kaisa realise that she was probably going to enter the building’s gardens for the first time since she began studying there. She had known it was there, she could see it through the windows, but they didn’t lead anywhere in particular and she never had time to dedicate to admiring them, so it had simply slipped her mind to go meet the grounds.

She supposed that would change today.

The staircase ended in a corridor which had on its left side a wall filled with rows of classroom doors, and on the right a few columns for supporting the ceiling with stone benches between them. Students occupied some of those, reading or listening to music on their headphones or furiously typing away on their notebooks, but Kaisa did not recognize on any of them the head of auburn curls she was looking for.

The garden was beautiful, that was the first thing she noticed once she stepped outside into it. The grass was well kept and neat paths filled with gravel led to a fountain in the middle. The Humanities building surrounded it on all sides, making it a rectangular haven in the middle of it. But it was a contained, boring sort of beauty if you asked Kaisa. There were no butterflies or any other sort of more interesting animal in sight, the ground had been cleaned off of any typical autumn leaves, and its little flower beds certainly paled when compared to the wildflowers in Tildy’s yard.

But still, Kaisa supposed, it was nice. The little Tildy voice in her head told her to stop being such a grump, and she could see why people would like to spend their time there.

Following the gravel path in front of her with her gaze, she spotted the person she had been looking for right on the edge of the fountain, shoulders hunched forward and immersed in whatever it was that she was writing on the sketchbook she was holding. That’s what she couldn’t even wait until she saw the test’s results to do?, Kaisa thought bitterly.

She knew her bitterness wasn’t directed at miss Golden Retriever, though. It was at herself, for not doing better, and at the fact that someone was doing so well in their class seemingly without feeling like they were selling their soul to their studies like Kaisa did. So she bit down on her tongue, twisting her ring around her finger like she usually did when nervous or bored, and stepped onto the gravel, feeling and hearing it crunch under her boots with each step. This was the mature thing to do. Better to get it done already, quick, easy and (mostly) painless.

When Kaisa got close enough that her feet were noticeable in the girl’s field of vision, Johanna’s writing hand became still and she lifted her eyes to her, removing her earphones when she realised that the person she was seeing was coming in her direction, and honest to God smiling when she recognized who exactly that was. It wasn’t a wide, toothy grin but it felt just as bright, lifting the corner of her lips high and making the skin over her cheekbones flush only slightly. Kaisa wavered for a moment. After their first interaction, she hadn’t ever talked to that woman again. She had absolutely no business looking that happy to see her, and neither had her heart in doing such a stupid little somersault in the face of her smile.

“Hi!” Golden Retriever Girl greeted warmly. Kaisa was coming to wonder if that was the only way she knew how to do things.

“Hello.” Kaisa shifted her weight from one foot to the other, suddenly self-conscious and rethinking this whole interaction. Why had she thought this was a good idea? This was stupid. She was stupid. What was she doing, acting like her being the best student on campus was something that the universe owed to her? Was she really so immature? She should have taken this to therapy, for fuck’s sake, not to the classmate she had only ever exchanged five words with.

“Lovely day, isn’t it?” The golden retriever cut through her train of thought, bringing Kaisa back to the present and preventing her from spiralling further down. “I don’t usually see you around the gardens, though. What brings you here?”

Had Kaisa been a bit more grounded, she would have noticed the implicit ‘I pay attention to whether or not you’re around’ hidden in Johanna’s words. That not being the case, however, she was only able to notice (and be thoroughly confused at) how Johanna sat up straighter and tapped the place next to her on the fountain’s edge when she, with all the dignity she could muster, informed her that she had come looking for Johanna, actually.

“Well, it’s good to talk to you again, Kaisa!” Closer now that she had sat down besides her, Kaisa could see that Johanna looked like she truly meant it. Her smile hadn’t once left her face, and she had grown even more flushed. She wondered if maybe it was the heat, even though the sun was already setting and Johanna was sitting on a place which the building cast a shadow over. Even though it was not hot at all. “Forgive me, but what is it you study, again? You told me when we met, but I’m afraid I’ve forgotten.”

Kaisa had not, in fact, told her what she studied. When the Golden Retriever Girl had introduced herself on their first seminar, she had been too stunned that someone with so much energy was talking to her (or, even more pathetically, that anyone at all who didn’t want something from her was talking to her), that she hadn’t really aced that social interaction. She had said her name when asked (and was surprised to find out now that the girl remembered, even if she herself had memorized her full name), but when Johanna said she was an Arts History major, Kaisa herself had only said “cool” and continued to try and find a place in her used and almost-full textbook for that subject. Which, in hindsight, had probably been why Johanna had given up on trying to talk and had left to find her seat.

Why had Kaisa thought that this was a good idea, again?

“I’m on English and History.” She said, and Johanna let out an appreciative hum. It looked like Golden Retriever was about to try and begin to make small talk around that, but before she could Kaisa spoke up again. “This may seem a bit random, but I was wondering if you could help me.”

“Oh!” A glimpse of disappointment crossed Johanna’s eyes for just a second, and the left corner of her lip twitched just so, but Kaisa was completely unaware. “Of course. What can I do for you?”

As she asked it, Golden closed her sketchbook, and in doing so brought Kaisa’s attention to it. Now that she was closer, she could see for a split second that in it weren’t writings as she had thought, but drawings. She supposed that made sense, given the girl’s area of studies.

Kaisa didn’t feel the need to clarify which class it was that they took together, since Golden Retriever Girl seemed to remember her, so she went straight to the point.

“You’re doing well at the seminar.” She began, looking straight forward and not at the expectant face by her side. If looking at people’s eyes already made her lose focus normally, it was especially so when that person already unnerved her in any way. And especially so when said person’s eyes were a mesmerizingly beautiful shade of hazel when observed closely. “Like, exceedingly well. Phenomenally. I never see you stay and look at the grades, so I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but you had the best grade in class on every graded activity so far. The results for our first exam are just out, by the way. You did it again. Congratulations, an impressive 9,5 on that honestly evil test.”

Not before Kaisa could worry about coming across as creepy for knowing her score, but before she could apologise for it, the girl laughed. Not a full belly sound, but a cute little snort that she seemed to have been holding back.

“You must think I’m so laid back! I always come here after the seminar because it’s dusk, and it’s honestly so gorgeous from here that I don’t want to lose it. But after the sun is set I always climb back there and see the results. Thank you for telling me, though, I had been worried about that exam. I don’t think the professor had our best interests in mind when she wrote it, honestly.”

Kaisa made an agreeing sound with the back of her throat. A part of her wanted to rush to assure that she hadn’t thought of Johanna as lazy or happy-go-lucky in any way, but that wasn’t actually true. Besides, the curious and honest part of her brain won out over the social skills part of her brain in the end (though, given past experiences, she wondered if her brain even had a social skills sector at all).

“Why, though? I mean, the buildings block the view from all sides, it’s not like you can actually see the sunset. The sky gets some pretty colours, but can’t you see those from the windows?”

Beside her, Johanna chuckled. Kaisa heard the sound close to her ear, and felt the small rush of air from her mouth on her skin. When she turned, she saw the glimmer on Golden’s eyes. It felt weird, being that close to someone. And it felt new, that the chuckle hadn’t sounded diminishing, or ironic, but rather like she was looking at something sweet. Like Kaisa was something pure and worth protecting.

“Look around.” Golden whispered, and Kaisa did, trying her best to see it through her eyes. The students coming out of their classrooms all around them. The gentle chatter of friends who were meeting to study together, or to carpool home. The beginnings of an evening breeze toying with the ends of their hair. The soft light that made even the well-trimmed trees look mysterious, and their nearly completely golden leaves glow.

Oh.

There was a moment of extreme softness, watching all the beauty around them, its mundanity making it no less special, and even a bit more so. If they were in a movie, it would be a cue for sweet classical music to begin playing, Kaisa thought, symbolising a growing bond between the two protagonists or whatever. She wasn’t a cinema major. So, of course, she ruined it by clearing her throat and going back to the task at hand.

If she was anything like a movie protagonist, she wouldn’t have lost her top-of-every-class title, now, would she?

“You have a point. Anyway, I came here to ask you if you have any tips for studying this subject. I generally draw schemes while reading the textbook and then look for practice exercises. It has worked well so far, but clearly you have something that works better. You don’t have to share it if you don’t want to, of course, but if there’s any tips you could give me, I’d be grateful.”

Golden Retriever Girl only stared at her for a beat, her silence making Kaisa retrace her words and wonder if she’d said anything offensive. When her answer came, it startled her enough to make Kaisa turn to glare at her.

“I don’t do anything special. I just enjoy it?”

“Enjoy it?” Kaisa asked with the tone of someone who felt like there had been an attempt to fool her, and hadn’t fallen for it. Golden gave no signs of falsehood, though. She only shrugged and turned her eyes down to the closed sketchbook on her lap, twirling her pencil around.

“Yeah. I relate a lot to neoclassicism. I spent my first years in my grandfather’s cottage out in the wilderness, so all the paintings of farm life feel familiar to me. Like they’re images that are close to my heart. Also the fugere urbem feeling in the writings speak really deeply to me, I had a hard time adapting when my parents brought me over to Trolberg when I was a child. I think that’s all there is, really. My study strategy doesn’t come close to being as neat as yours. I just… enjoy it.”

It shouldn’t have left Kaisa speechless, but it did. She didn’t even know why, it wasn’t like it was something out of this world. She herself had chosen her major, and this seminar, because of affinity, but somewhy it simply hadn’t crossed her mind that passion alone could get you that far. Which wasn’t to say that the Golden Retriever Girl (and really, she had been talking to her for a full five minutes, so maybe she should stop thinking about her that way) didn’t put in the effort; her behaviour in class alone was enough to tell Kaisa that that wasn’t the case. But being told that actually, that was the secret to her success wasn’t something she had even considered. Hell, most times Kaisa was so busy studying for all her classes she actually forgot that she had ever enjoyed her subjects to begin with.

“I see.” She said, hoping to not seem rude to the person who by this point already had reasons to think she was a stalker. Luckily, it didn’t seem like Johanna had taken offence.

“You don’t seem convinced.” She said playfully. “I have something to suggest. Why don’t we have our next study session for this seminar together?”

This snapped Kaisa out of her surprised haze.

“For real?”

“I mean, yeah, why not? If you’d like it, that is. I know some people only study well alone, and I totally respect it if that’s your case. But if you’d like to give it a go, I’m sure it would be fun. And you’d get to see how my studying isn’t nearly as effective as yours.”

She was smirking at her, and looking like she was actually hoping for Kaisa to say yes, for some reason. And though all her instincts told her to come up with an excuse to not do it, she couldn’t actually think of a single reason why that was a bad idea.

“Sure.”

Johanna blinked, and Kaisa realised that though she had been hoping for it, Johanna hadn’t actually expected her to say yes.

That’s what you get for ignoring someone who tries to make small talk on the first day.

“Great!” Golden chirped. “You free on Saturday?”

Kaisa mentally opened her schedule in her mind’s eye. Saturday was when the Sparrow Scouts had events, sometimes. She couldn’t remember if the one Frida had asked her to tag along to was this one or the next.

“I’m not sure, to be honest. I think my little sister asked me to go with her to a scouts thing, but I could have gotten the date wrong. I get really confused with my appointments when I have exams, it feels like my mind erases any information unrelated to them. Can I check that and get back to you?”

“Sure! Give me your hand.”

Kaisa blinked with surprise. Partly because she had half been expecting Johanna to give up on the idea. After all, why would she bother insisting on something she’d get nothing out of? Mostly, though, because being asked to give her her hand hadn’t really seemed to have been in the realm of possible answers. She did as she was told, however, and Kaisa watched as Johanna picked a ball-point pen from her jacket’s breast pocket and took it to her palm.

Too confused and focused on watching Golden Retriever Girl’s face to see what she was writing, Kaisa didn’t notice what it was right away. After having finished, she let her go and smiled once more.

“There you go! Text me or call me when you have the answer, whichever you prefer. I’ll see you around?”

She probably wouldn’t see her around, that was the only class they were taking together that semester and it only happened once a week, but Kaisa found herself nodding anyway. Having completed her goal (sort of), she stood up just as the first lamps began being turned on around them. It wasn’t nearly as pretty anymore with the artificial light, but somehow Johanna’s smile didn’t look any less bright. Kaisa bid her goodnight and got a “goodbye” handwave in response, walking away before she could fully process that interaction, and way before she allowed herself to interpret her emotions during it.

It was only when she was taking the long walk home, practically alone on the sidewalk of the highway that connected their campus to the city, that it occurred to her to check what had been written on her skin before she put on her noise canceling headphones and begun listening to a recording of the Advanced Grammar lecture she’d had in the morning.

She pulled back her sweater, which had only not been covering the tips of her fingers, to find a phone number and a winky face. Underneath, she had written “Jo from the seminar”, as if Kaisa could possibly forget.

That girl was insane, that was Kaisa’s verdict. When she got home and told this story to Tildy, she’d be advised to let this insanity rub off on her a bit, it would do her good.

And well, she had gone to her to learn her secret, hadn’t she?

#I am. SO excited about lauching this new era of my writing #and I warn you all that it's based on being unhinged and doing exclusively what brings me joy :)#this is such a shameless excuse to use all the cool literature knowledge i aquired in high school tbh #it might not even apply to the literature movemnts I'm talking about outside of my country but bear with me here!!!#sketchbook ship #my fic #sketchbook ship hilda #sketchbook ship fanfic #johanna hilda #kaisa hilda #sketchbook college au #<-this is such a specific tag Im 100% sure unless the ship becomes canon No One will ever search for it ISHDKJSKDFH #fic: inutilia truncat #verse: carpe diem

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cahrolinehasmoved · 11 months

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i cry. i always know when people do not read caroline's bio / info and my pinned post lmao.

#my care is not at all based in tvdu...pls...pls read my stuff #canon events in tvdu DO NOT APPLY HERE unless they are in her bio and / or headcanon #i forgot why i stayed so frustrated rping care...people do not read anymore #i also am NOT giving her a tvdu verse period #i want nothing to do with the majority of the tvdu fandom..#like i will happily interact with tvdu muses in AUs or some sort of other fandom based verses but just not tvdu.#𝐢𝐢𝐢. ⠀𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 ⠀ 、 mun speaks ⠀!

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merlin-wolfgang-trades-hale · 1 year

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One of my on-going project snippets. Avatar!Steve

“Why is Danny’s place still frozen?” Steve demanded as soon as he saw Duke.

“Our water-benders are trying, but there is a limit to their ability,” Duke replied.

Steve’s clarity was being disrupted by his worry over Danny, so he snapped, “Limit? It’s ice! They’re water-benders!”

Duke often revered to Steve with the respect gained by his rank, in both military and as Avatar, as well as the respect he was born with as a McGarrett. But in that moment, he was an older Hawaiian native who gave a strict gaze as he reminded Steve of where they lived. “You have traveled far and seen many other places. Maybe it has escaped your memory that out of all the benders that live or visit our small islands, water is arguably the one with most restrictions and rules. Only a limited few water-bending masters exist here who are experienced with colder temperatures and ice or snow manipulation.”

Steve closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself before he opened them again and apologized. “Sorry, Duke. It’s...it’s Danny, y’know?”

“I do. And I know that there’s no one else on this island who knows those ice bending restrictions better than him. Given how much flack he got in the early months of him being here. So I understand your concern...but these ice structures were created by Danny himself. They’re fortified with the strength that will take the Hawaiian August sun hours to melt. We can’t get inside yet.”

“Yeah, well...I’m here now. Let me work.” It was nearly a threat but it most certainly was a warning. Duke called off the benders and let Steve try.

Steve has begun his water bending training but it was with the basics. Learning to alter the water’s temperature to make it freeze or unfreeze wasn’t anywhere near the curriculum. Didn’t mean he didn’t try. Except he was too angry because he didn’t want to be worried.

So he stopped trying to water-bend the ice away and instead unleashed his fury with his fire-bending until he saw some of the ice give way before earth-bending a stalagmite to shatter it’s way through.

I started thinking about world building rules and them being applied to different fandom. Implementing the Avatar bending to H50, and it made me think. Being surrounded by so much water, water benders are pretty dangerous. They always have a weapon, and if they’re mastered it enough the humidity in the air, even if there isn’t an obvious body of water, they still have access to it( never mind potential gangs and criminal organization potentially having Blood Benders).

Then I was thinking, how much of the average tourist would a)not know a fuck shit about the proper water temperature a place, it’s plant life, and animal life need to remain stable? And b)would be assholes to try and make their own waves or bigger waves or retaliate against anyone or to show off?

Beaches in an Avatar AU would have STRICT rules in place. Lifeguards might need to be specially trained to like a military level to secure the peace, ensure the safety of native plant and animal life.

Water benders, no matter the profession or life style they lead/live, if they’re in Hawaii they are limited to just water bending. Healing, yes...but when it comes to temperature control...there are like...two official water bending MASTERS who know how to turn water into snow or ice. And it’s become a thing where it’s just been like that for so long that no one really questions it unless they’re not from there.

I made Danny a Water-Bender and with how winters are on the east coast, and because I personally headcanon Danny to just have a more affinity to colder climates, to him ice and snow are second nature. And because he came from a big city where younger water benders as young as 7-8 year olds make their first bit of chump change by offering to snow-bend the drive ways of little old ladies or get more allowance if they wake up and defrost their parent’s car...when Danny first came to Hawaii as he followed Grace, seen as an outsider with the element that may have the most restrictions, particularly in his specialty. It was hard but Danny learned to ‘control’ himself..aka adjust his mannerism. (He’s always in control. Just...things that were normal for him are a big deal on the island, but he has never been out of control of his element. Danny is also a Blood Bender and that’s why but it’s not knowledge anyone knows and he’s terrified of anyone learning)

Steve has seen plenty of Danny’s power, potential, and most importantly his control. It’s why Steve chose Danny to be his Water bending master instead of the native Hawaiian born they wanted to assign him. There are also a lot of deeper feelings involved, so Steve hearing that Danny elsa fortressed himself means something is very wrong!

but on like a lighter note, when they need something from Kamekona, Danny has bribed him with water-bending him x-lbs of shaved ice.

#what is time anymore?#some time ago I think my darling cowandcalf tagged me in a wip tag game but I haven't really had the time #I have two other fics in the avatar au verses but they were on a whim of what I wanted #which is valid sure but I do want to tackle it again but with...a more serious hand #The weight of the Avatar resting on Steve's shoulders as he came into his powers late #he struggles with being fair when he was brought up in the American Navy when he now has to represent the spirits and elemental benders of #ALL four nations as 5-0 becomes a more international/global kind of task force #Danny's backstory is expanded as his powers and abilities are applied in ways that would really bond him and Steve #through a lot more angst and trauma and they keep coming into these situations where they keep ending up choosing the other #when they've either never been the one chosen or the one left behind #And Steve's hero status is questioned by his loyalty to Danny because rather than let Danny be sacrificed for the greater good #Steve taps into his Avatar State to save Danny(probably from Colombia and in the process make political waters muddy)#And eventually Danny blood bends to save Steve and they would break or rewrite the rules of nature EVERY time if it means they can save the #other...whom they love with all their hearts #so anyway yeah this is something I'm working on when the motivation and inspiration strike xD

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imaginarianisms · 4 months

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Tagged by @velcryons

Tagging @helbroth (either renly, levi or aegon), @goldenngore, @inmydrcams (MMMMM elia or one of the sand snakes) @creolejesus, @loyalpromise (louis or ruby), & viewers like you. thank you!!

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐁 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

Dandelion

You grew up too fast and all you know is the calluses on your fists and the thousand invisible scars that you pretend don't ache. Your anger burns so bright, so hot or maybe not at all, so deep you could never tell it was there. You are yours and you will defend that to the death after so many years of being ripped apart and denied your own agency and maybe you are still facing the bastards who stole your innocence but you will survive because that's the only thing you know how to do without breaking, the only thing you know besides protect, protect, protect, protect, yourself or sometimes those few others you claim as yours. You are a thousand sharp edges but impenetrable, a traumatized child so covered by thorny armor that you promised yourself you're grown now, you're stronger than anyone who has ever hurt you. You're safe. Nothing will ever hurt you again. You're so alone though sometimes, in a world that sees you as too much or too broken or too angry or too hurt, and you want to scream with the too-much of it, prove that you're okay, that you're self-reliant, that you are strong enough to stake your claim on your body, on your mind, on your heart, on your people, and protect it from any who dare take it away from you. You are the sea in tempest, a howling sky, a tsunami in motion, a force of nature, no matter how much you sometimes yearn to be still, to be safe, to be small. You are a dandelion, stubborn and determined to grow in the rockiest of soil, and bloom again in spring.

#lyanna stark. || study.#oh.... im gonna FUCKING SOB #this also applies to a.emond. btw #this makes me SO FUCKING SAD especially post robert's rebellion bc when she l.ives she's. traumatized. for sure #i have a bunch of aus where she goes in different places like g.reywater watch or braavos but she mostly returns to w.interfell+#& she just. has to process that she can't raise j.on (in verses where she's his mother) & on top of all of the bullshit. & had to mourn+#her father & b.randon & knowing that r.haegar is dead. (i leave it up to interpretation in diff verses on what exactly their dynamic was)#& knowing that e.lia & a.egon & r.haenys are dead (in canon). but regardless of what happens she's traumatized for the rest of her life.#n.ed basically banned anyone from marrying her unless she wanted to bc he loved her that much & wanted her to heal.#& so she continues living in mourning while practicing her swordsmanship bc she will never be controlled by sb else ever again.#she out here being a woodswitch & warrior.

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wordstome · 7 months

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Last night I did what I always do when I can’t fall asleep: think about fictional men. Here’s a list of wonderful stories written by incredibly talented people who have helped me think about fictional men by providing the most delicious playgrounds.

In the interest of keeping my recommendations brief, I'm going to talk about what I liked about the fic instead of summarizing what it's about. To know what it's actually about you're just gonna have to click through and read the fic <3

(and just in case anybody's gotten lost, this is all COD, mostly modern MW)

✦ complete ║ ➠ ongoing

König

✦Just Friends by @kneelingshadowsalome Salome is so good at capturing a very unique interplay between König’s social awkwardness and his deep, dark, nasty inclinations. He’s so feral and enjoyable to read, and the sheer force of his desire for Engel is downright intoxicating. I find it difficult to describe how much of an impact Just Friends has had on me and my portrayal of König, to be honest. There's a reason why three of Salome's fics are on this rec list.

✦Fatum Nos Iungebit by kneelingshadowsalome Five words. König with his cock out. That's it. Okay, but in all seriousness, I love his character applied to this setting. All the raw visceral violence a König could ever want, a pretty little lady in his bed—he's so boyish and happy in this au it brings me such joy. The way their relationship between him and Fee develops is so natural and so sweet. Please for the love of God read this.

➠Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus The chase. The pursuit. The adrenaline when Mouse dances out of König's reach once more. I'm a little biased because I adore Julius and Jenny (I could call her Lucretia but the double J names make me giggle) as ocs already, but CMD is so, so well written. The tension, the flirting, the scene where he catches her falling out of the tree?! As I said in a reblog, I shrieked. You know when you're reading something that's so good you want to bite down on it and shake like a dog with a toy? (No? Just me?) That's how I feel about CMD.

➠Anything by @darklordofthesimp Anything, in only 7 chapters (they are hefty, don’t get me wrong), has turned König and Birdy’s dynamic from “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IRREVERSIBLY SCARRED MY BODY AND MY BRAIN, AND I CANNOT TRUST HIM” to “these two are going to get married someday”. (author if you’re reading this, I say that not as an expectation or prediction, but as a vibe reading.) This one is for the hurt/comfort girlies. Also, shoutout to all the other stories set in the Anything-verse. Sunshine and Ghost are just soooo *grips my hand in a fist so hard it shakes*

➠If you need to be mean by @gremlingottoosilly This mostly serves as a blanket recommendation for all of Gremlin’s fics. I found If you need to be mean, and then visiting Gremlin’s author page was like opening a treasure chest. Want to be König’s pampered, (unwilling) little housewife? That’s If you need to be mean. Want a harem fic with almost all of the COD MW men? Gremlin has two, both with their own little spin to keep it fun. Do you want König to keep you in his basement or hunt you down as a serial killer? Gremlin's got it. Monsterfucker? Gremlin has that too. Special shoutout goes to 1295 kilometers. I think about fucking König on a train a lot now.

➠Break my mind by @kaiasdevotion (kaiasown on ao3) There’s no way around this. This fic has the most unhinged, kinky, downright dangerous smut I’ve read in the cod fandom so far (positive). Just Friends König is the metric by which I judge all other Königs’ nastiness, and Break my mind König is tipping so hard on the “unhinged horny violent freak (affectionate)” end of the scale he’s about to fall off. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've developed a taste for writing/reading from König's perspective, and he's so chillingly deranged in the most controlled way possible during the chapters from his pov. Incredible writing. Chefs kiss.

✦Experimental by @uhohdad (surgeoninspace on ao3) Alright, enough of just König being nasty. He is still nasty in this one, but he’s not the only one who gets to have a little fun and be a total creep. Our little scientist here is a grade A pervert, and I was delighted the whole way through. The most important thing I need in a fic is suspension of disbelief, and Experimental takes an unrealistic, maybe a little bit silly situation and makes it so believable. Everybody reacts the way you would expect them to, even if the scenario they're in is A Lot.

➠Little Mouse and Rotes Madchen by @sprout-fics I'm combining the recommendation for these two because while they are both very much distinct, unique fics, I love them the same way. Sprout is such an engaging writer, and the internal dialogue of her characters is so well done. It reveals their personality, motivations, and internal conflicts without being overly expository. Do you guys remember that post I put on the König bible about instant obsession? It's this inexorable attraction borne from obsession that sticks me to Little Mouse like a glue trap. (Is that too morbid?)

✦Hot in Sarajevo by @50cal-fullauto Rags' König characterization post is on my Königcore bible, for very good reason. They get it. König is a feral dog forced to live as a man and loves like a total maniac, emotionally and sexually. I marked Hot in Sarajevo as complete but I don't know how many parts there are going to be, and frankly, I do want more. However, if you're going to only read one part (which. why would you do that??? read both.) I recommend the second part. I want to write love like that. Goddamn.

Ghost

Yeah, this list is a little bare bones right now. I'm gonna get back to it, I promise.

✦Anhedonia by kneelingshadowsalome The way. Salome takes the "I would take a bullet for him but he's so cold to me" premise and then flips it entirely on its head for the second part is so important to me. The way Simon craves the reader is like human catnip. I reread this fic all the time.

Keegan

✦For the Weak and Weary by @halcyone-of-the-sea Read this if you want to believe in true love. That's all. Go on now.

Multiple

✦Easy by @danibee33 When people say "I wish this were a book!" about fanfiction, they usually mean it in a "this is good enough to be published by the traditional publishing industry" way. When I say I want Easy (and Diablesa) to be a book, I mean it in a "I want to get this story bound in a beautiful ass cover and keep it on a shelf so I can take it down and reread it whenever I want" way. I don't want the traditional publishing industry to get their claws in this, because it's perfect as it is. This fic is so wild and fun, and the character moments are so special and well done. Do yourself a favor and savor this one.

➠@ghouljams's entire blog [masterlist] "What do you mean someone's entire blog" YOU HEARD ME. Those aus are some good shit. Good characterization, delicious premises, love the group effort of it all. To absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite couple is König and Bee from the cowboy au (ditzy but well-meaning and competent in her own way woman x big strong man who is obsessed with her and maybe also creeping on her, my beloved), but I also have a fondness for Ghost and Die from demon darlings au. Trust me on this one. Dig into those masterlists babey.

#ficrec #cod #mw2 #cod mw2 #cod ghosts #König #König cod #konig cod #König x reader #konig x reader #simon ghost riley #keegan p russ #keegan russ #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #keegan x reader #keegan russ x reader #navigation: fic recs

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jo-harrington · 9 months

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On-the-Job Training (A Store Manager Verse Story - Steve Harrington/Reader)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Steve has a crush on the Dippin' Dots cashier.

Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Late Summer of 1985, Steve and Robin work at Scoops, Reader works at Dippin' Dots, Mutual Pining, Flirting, Enemies to Lovers(sort of?), Tie in with the Store Manager Verse

Note: Ok what started off as a silly little conversation about what flavor chapstick each ST character would use turned into this and I typically don't write Steve...but I had to give him some love.

Tagging my loves who were integral to that convo to thank them for inspiration especially Drac who started it all. This is for you bb. @dr-aculaaa @mopeymopeymouse @chestylarouxx @somnambulic-thing @fracturedarkness @br0ck-eddie

Technically slightly anachronistic because Dippin' Dots didn't open until 1988 but I'm a stickler for accuracy in the regular series. This is just a fun little do-dad.

You can find my masterlist here for more fics featuring pretty much exclusively Eddie Munson content but also a little Steve.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Largely unedited; I didn't even re-read it. It's might suck. Enjoy!

---

"Ahoy! One U.S.S. Butterscotch!"

Steve never thought that this would be his future after graduation.

This summer he should have been living it up before he went away to college and made something of himself. Lifeguarding at the pool, going to all the parties, hanging out with his friends.

Instead, his life went to shit, Nancy Wheeler had broken up with him, he had gotten rejection letter after rejection letter from the schools he had applied to...and instead of working at the pool like he had every summer since he turned 16, he had a crappy job slinging ice cream at Scoops Ahoy of all places at the new StarCourt Mall.

"Thanks so much," the sweet lady who had placed the order smiled at him and handed the sundae to her son. "Look at that Frankie, your favorite." The little boy shot Steve a grin complete with his two front teeth missing and Steve melted a little bit.

Alright, it wasn't so bad. He got to make people smile, he got some spending money--which was nice since his dad had pretty much cut him off, although his mom was sneaking him some cash on the side.

"Look alive dingus," Robin called from the window separating the front of the ice cream parlor from the backroom. "Your schmoopsie poo is here."

"Shut up Rob!" Steve groaned through gritted teeth.

One of the perks of working at the mall was that he got to interact with people of all shapes and sizes and yeah...Steve had tried to use it as a means to get over Nancy. He'd had little hours-long crushes on fellow mall employees, customers, Robin--although working with her made that difficult--hell there was even a manager that had caught his eye towards the beginning of summer except he'd seen Eddie "The Freak" Munson of all people hanging around her.

Although after a few months of seeing Eddie around StarCourt not being a wastoid menace, Steve had to admit...well he wasn't that bad either.

The one who'd caught his eye the most though was you, and yeah...he'd developed an actual big little long-lasting crush.

You, who came around for a root-beer float most afternoons.

You, whose smile made his heart skip a little.

You in your pink polo, teal apron, and white visor with the words Dippin' Dots emblazoned on the front.

The enemy.

And you never let him forget it either.

Steve had been heart eyes over you the first time you had entered into Scoops territory to order your float. Undercover in casual summer clothes a week after the mall had opened. There was just something about you, your smile, your laugh.

Robin teased that he said that about everyone; Steve ignored her.

Then you opened your mouth and said the float was good but the service could have been better. That Steve should stop by Dippin' Dots sometime and see how it was really done.

Shots fired.

It really hurt at first. This was his first real job outside of the community pool, one he had been excited to get. He was really nice, tried his best; why didn't you think so?

"It's called flirting," Robin insisted. "God, you really suck, you know that? How can you ask people out willy nilly and then miss someone flirting with you right in front of your face? Flirt back next time."

So he did.

Every so often he'd mosey across the mall to your kiosk, order a small vanilla cup, and throw a little insult of his own your way. Usually something about how tiny balls of ice cream could never beat an actual scoop. Or about how you didn't count his change the right way, or that your visor was on crooked.

You wouldn't hesitate to get your own comment in. Especially about his choice in flavor.

"You work at an ice cream parlor and you order vanilla?" you questioned. "A hundred flavors to choose from at scoops; do you only get vanilla there too? Vanilla...is good but when you have variety? Order something exciting one day, and then we can talk business, Stevie."

Oof, it steamed him.

But not enough to stop playing the game.

And it left you both grinning so who was he to end the fun.

So when you showed up at Scoops today after not being around for a few days and your smile didn't reach your eyes like it usually did...Steve was suddenly overcome with...well he didn't really know.

"Ahoy, uh, sailor," he greeted and tried to put on his biggest award-winning, tip-earning smile.

"Ahoy," you replied weakly.

"Root beer float?" he asked, already heading over to the case to start scooping ice cream into a cup.

"Uh," you hesitated. "No, just...just a small vanilla cup today."

Steve froze and looked at you. Your shoulders were slumped, you had your visor in your hand, and you were pointedly avoiding eye contact with him.

What was...what was wrong with you?

Where was your fight? Where was your fire? Why, all of a sudden, was your game over?

"Hey, uhm," he coughed awkwardly. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, Steve," you nodded absently.

"You always get root beer."

"I just want vanilla today."

"The special is salted caramel? I can give you a sample if you're--"

"No, I just want vanilla," you cut him off and rolled your eyes. "You always get vanilla. Why is it a problem if I suddenly do? Vanilla is good too. Maybe vanilla is just...what we both want ok? Nothing else."

He was shocked. That wasn't playful annoyance in your voice; you were just...annoyed.

"Sure," he agreed. "Sure. One small vanilla coming right up."

He got your ice cream and rang you out, and as you were about to leave, he called after you.

"See you in a little while?" he asked.

"If you want." You waved goodbye and headed out of the ice cream parlor.

Steve turned and looked at Robin who simply rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What just happened?" he asked.

"You're hopeless," she sighed and slammed the shutters on the window closed.

---

Steve roamed around the mall on his break.

Typically, he'd make his way to Dippin' Dots but...that just seemed like a waste of time today.

He'd fixated on your visit for the rest of his shift until his break, analyzing everything he said, everything he did. Everything that could have made you mad at him.

Once he got Robin out of her hiding spot in the back room, he monologued all of his thoughts to her.

She watched him pace back and forth, called him a dingus a few times, a loser a few other times, and then finally sent him on his break with some last words.

"I know you're hearing everything they're saying Steve," she began. "But are you really listening? You just keep...ordering vanilla."

"Uh. Yeah. That's the game."

"It's not a game you...ughhhhh! GO!" She pointed to the exit. "Before I throttle you."

Why couldn't she just tell him? What had he done?

In his rumination, he'd been chewing at his lips. A habit he had pretty much done his entire life when he got nervous.

Shit, and he'd left his chapstick in the car; it was hot, it probably melted by now.

That was one of the little ways you made his life a little better...through your teasing. You had told him, once, that his lips looked dry.

"Maybe invest in some chapstick or something."

He'd gone to Melvald's that same night that you told him and got a 3-pack of strawberry chapstick. All the while wondering if it meant you had been looking at his lips for a while or...

But it was...just another little jab right? Another little flirt? Another part of your game?

Still, he never knew when you might show up so the chapstick became a constant--something that soothed him even, gave him courage--and he always had a tube tucked into the pocket of his shorts, or on the register, or in the cupholder of his car. To swipe on if he knew he was about to see you...or hoped he was.

And now...he desperately needed it, needed his strawberry chapstick--needed you--and it was nowhere to be found.

Steve stopped in his tracks and looked at the stores around him.

WaldenBooks, Regis Salon, JH Camera Repair.

Claires.

Bingo.

He'd seen little kids with their play makeup and sparkly plastic jewelry post up in one of the booths at Scoops after they spent their allowance money at Claire's. He had to find strawberry chapstick there. He'd even take cherry. Something.

Anything.

Steve crossed into the pink-and-purple-and-pop-music-filled oasis to a melodic "Welcome In" from the employee helping a little girl by the ear piercing booth. And as out of place as he felt, he was immediately relieved to see a wall full of eyeshadow palettes and glitter hairspray.

He closed the distance and frantically searched the wall, but it was all novelty makeup. There was one package of Dr. Pepper lip smackers, but the package was half-ripped and the cap was missing; he was a little worried but he figured it was better than nothing.

He was about to snatch it off the hook when that voice sounded behind him.

"Did you need help finding anything?" He immediately turned on his heel to find the employee--the manager, Eddie Munson's girlfriend--standing there in a flourish of tulle and fluorescent colors. "Oh! That's a customer favorite...looks like it's damaged though, let me just..."

She reached out to take the package but Steve reacted instinctually. He quickly grabbed it and clutched it to his chest.

"I don't mind," he tried to reason. "I don't care if it's missing the cap."

"Listen, I can't sell it to you if it's damaged," the manager explained. "It's just not safe. Is there anything else I can help you find though?"

She reached for the package again but he held it back.

"I need this," Steve tried again.

"Oh...kay."

"Because I messed up and this...you know the cashier down at the Dippin' Dots kiosk? Well...I don't know...I pissed them off or something and I just need to...go down and talk to them and I can't."

"So the lip balm is a gift for them? To make amends?"

"No...it's for me because my lips are dry." Steve sighed. "I...ok I know it sounds crazy, but I swear. It's...they got me to start using chapstick because they said my lips were dry and it's this thing we do. We go back and forth and we tease each other.

"But they're mad at me now, and they didn't...I mean they ordered vanilla. They never order vanilla. They hate it when I order vanilla."

"Uh huh." The manager's eyes went a little soft. "I'm not...really following the logic...but I get it."

"You do?"

"You like each other. But you're just...going back and forth. And no one has really...admitted it," she observed. She suddenly burst into laughter and Steve cocked his head to one side in confusion. "Sorry, sorry...it's just...whatafuckincoincidence.

"So are you the one who's afraid of being rejected? Or...are they...or..."

Cue the record scratch in Steve's head.

Rejection.

All summer...all year actually...Steve had been faced with one rejection after another. First Nancy, then all of the college applications, his dad and now...all of the little fleeting mall crushes that he'd asked out that had said no.

Robin had even made a scoreboard that sat in the back whenever someone turned him down.

He thought all this time...he'd become immune to it. But with you...it was easier to think it was just a game than to possibly face the reality that if he asked you out...you'd say no and then the little game would be ruined. And his hopes would be dashed.

He didn't realize that all of his waffling could potentially be hurting you too.

"Why don't you," the manager continued when Steve hesitated to answer, "go down there and talk to them? Even if they're mad at you. Communication is very important. I'm sure if you explain everything, or even...just show that you're willing to bridge the gap, they'd be willing to listen. The worst they could say is no, but if they're already mad, you have nothing to lose. See if they'll give you a chance."

"So I...shouldn't order vanilla this time?" He looked up at her and asked, recalling your words.

Order something exciting, and then we can talk business.

The door had been open for him to ask you out this whole time.

And that's why you ordered vanilla earlier. Because Vanilla meant...meant that this...flirtation...this game...wasn't going anywhere. He hadn't made a move, so you didn't want to wait anymore.

God, he was so stupid.

"Uh, no...don't do that," the manager smiled kindly. She reached out for the broken lip balm and took it from him. "I'll just...damage this out."

"Wait...but my lips are still dry," Steve floundered. "I still need chapstick."

"Do you think there's gonna be some kissing happening?" the manager's eyes narrowed. "I said talk to them, not...plant one on them."

"I just need...something," he begged. "Strawberry...if you have it."

"I think we have strawberry flavored lip gloss by the register."

"I'll take it."

---

So there Steve was, in the concourse by JCPenney, patiently waiting in the line for Dippin' Dots with sticky, strawberry-flavored lips tinted a very nice shade of pink.

As soon as he had swiped the gloss on...as silly as he had felt...he had been reminded of you.

"Next!" your voice sounded every so often and the line got shorter and shorter, and Steve's courage got weaker and weaker. The Claire's manager had been right though...communication...the worst you could tell Steve was "no."

"Next!" You'd be just another tally on Robin's scoreboard. And she could call him a dingus again. She really enjoyed doing that. So some good would at least come from his failure.

"Next!" He'd also get...a cup of Dippin' Dots which...if he had to admit, he kinda enjoyed. He got all the Scoops ice cream he wanted for free but this was different. Ice Cream of the Future and all that. He sort of expected Henderson to come up with something like this, the little nerd; well, if he could never show his face here again, he'd ask the kids if they could figure out how to make some kind of futuristic ice cream for him.

"Ne--oh!" Steve finally got to the front of the line and saw your shocked face. He smiled and waved as he approached the register.

"Hey," he greeted. "I told you I'd see you around."

"You did," you said flatly and scrunched your nose. "So...the usual? Small vanilla cup?"

"Uh no..." Steve said hesitantly. You raised an eyebrow in question. "I uh...can I get a large..."

"Large vanilla?" You sniffed.

"Large Rainbow Ice," he recited after squinting at the menu board. "It's time for something new."

You stared at him silently and Steve couldn't help but doubt himself.

What if Rainbow Ice was the wrong answer? Should he have gone with Banana Split? Shit he should have just stuck with Strawberry. It was his favorite. Strawberry chapstick, strawberry gloss, strawberry ice cream. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Yeah," you finally answered with a beaming smile and Steve's heart soared. "Yeah it is time for something new, isn't it?"

Next Part: Incremental Planning

#stranger things fic #Steve harrington x reader #Steve harrington fic #store manager verse #Steve harrington fluff #scoops steve

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chocochococoffee · 27 days

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svsss au where linguang-jun seals kid mobei-jun's abilities and appearance. why do so, though? PIDW mobei-jun, after a long time wallowing over the decadence of his kingdom, his lord's kingdom and sanity, and the hopeless of all, suddenly had reborn in his baby body for some reason. then he said something that ofc linguang-jun didn't like. not that he had liked him before

sealed as a human, small mobei-jun started to wander and he finds shang qinghua, some months before applying to cang qiong, already homeless and faring for himself.

what mobei-jun doesn't know and really wants to know is why sqh, seeing him as the street rat kid who had yet to grow into the peak lord persona and spy presented to him yet still with hope in his eyes, had grown into that jaded and treacherous self, and decided to accompany him to cang qiong as well

for studying, he said

what mobei-jun Really doesnt know and doesn't even suspect is that the sqh in front of him is the author of their world, who also doesnt suspect that the very serious baby in front of him is mobei-jun (he gave him another name), much less that hes a reincarnated version of his PIDW verse

sqh: babies need tiger hats to grow strong!! /gifts mbj hideous tiger hat

mbj, who is slightly pleased, 80% pissed off yet unable to show himself as the king or prince he once was: ... thank you, gege...

#svsss #svsss au #scum villain #scum villian self saving system #moshang #shang qinghua #mobei jun #airplane shooting towards the sky

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cuubism · 13 days

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I would love to hear about the math verse AU and/or the physical therapy AU and/or Dreamling shibari for the wip game 👀 and no I cannot choose just one! xo @hardly-an-escape

posted a little bit of Math Verse, here's a tiny snippet of Physical Therapy part 9 that i wrote... today, alas there is not much of that chapter yet

Even if Hob doesn’t say it aloud, it’s okay. Dream knows that Hob loves him. He shows it. He doesn’t need to say it. Dream’s ex-lover had, after all, said that he loved him frequently. “Come on, you know I love you.” But where had it shown up? That was not love. It was the opposite of love. So he doesn’t need Hob to say it back, it is enough that he— “Hey, Dream?” Hob says, interrupting his thoughts. His smile is warm, successfully banishing any hope of Dream finding his line of thinking again, as sunlight does to shadows. “I love you.”

and Shibari, another damn thing that's so close to being finished XD light nsfw

This time, when he makes to do so, Dream lets Hob take his shirt off by hand. Hob himself is already shirtless, as he was before, and Dream takes a moment to run his hands down his chest, over his belly, luxuriating in the feeling of his skin. Slow, he thinks. One mistake of last time. Hob kisses the hollow space under his ear, and his jaw, and his throat. He pulls Dream close by his hips so their bellies touch, and he can feel Hob’s arousal pressed against him. Normally Dream takes a more active role in their lovemaking, but this time he lets Hob direct him, tips his head when Hob’s hand goes to his jaw, opens his mouth to Hob’s tongue. Hob takes his time in exploring him, tracing the curves of a now-familiar river, its embankments and erosions. Unbuttons Dream’s jeans without looking, pulls them down and lets Dream balance on him as he steps out of them. So physical, and almost awkward for it, for while Dream is fluid as air in the Dreaming, he always feels just a bit wrong in the waking, liable to disjoint and slip the bounds of his skin, the way dreams can fracture when hit by sunlight. He must concentrate. He must imagine himself a thing of the waking world. But Hob. Hob is a master of his body. He has had so long to learn how to use it, and he has applied it to so many different things in that time. As Dream stands, Hob brings him in close again just by leaning into his space, like he’s pressuring a skittish wild thing, loops him in with one strong hand wrapped around his upper arm. His body is surety and dominance and Dream is utterly in his thrall. When Hob turns him, steps behind him, as he had done last time, Dream is dropping to his knees already before Hob can lay a hand to the back of his neck. Hob’s sharp intake of breath catches in Dream’s chest, and Dream smiles, just a small twitch of the lips in satisfaction. He is in Hob’s thrall, but so is Hob in his, for submission is its own form of power. “You want to be good for me, love?” Hob says, stroking his fingertips up the back of Dream’s neck and into his hair. “Or do you just have something that you want?” “As you say,” Dream says, noncommittally, and delights in Hob grabbing a firm grip of his hair. “That,” Hob says, “is not quite good enough.” Hob pulls his head back, a sharp, firm tug admonishing him for his response. Dream resists automatically and Hob’s grip only tightens. Dream is not so easily overcome by sensation as he was in the immediate aftermath of his escape, the first time he had knelt for Hob. In some ways it has been a disappointment to slide back towards equilibrium. But he sees now that it has its benefits, too. The strength of Hob’s grip in his hair that would then have been too painful to tolerate now sends sparks of pleasured agony through him. Dream’s spine curves. His neck strains. Hob is immovable. It’s instinct to resist his pull, to clutch to station and power and kingship, but when he yields and lets Hob tip his head back, bares his throat, it feels like sinking into a soft bed. Hob will move him and use him but he won’t wrench him apart. And all Dream has to do is… let him. Each letting is an exhale. His eyes flutter shut.

#LONG snippet XD #nsft #mildly #shibari #physical therapy fic #cw dom sub #my writing #ask #hardly-an-escape

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quitealotofsodapop · 26 days

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Cicada Lily idea: Qi Xiaotian, the next day he goes to school after Bai He comes into his life, spends the entire day telling everyone he has a baby sister now.

Long Xiaojiao is both excited and jealous, leading to her asking her parents about having a baby sib.

(The Longs are now flashing back to Xiaojiao's poor rubbery egg.)

Xiaotian/MK and Xiaojiao/Mei were def kindergarden/pre-school besties. I could see this bring applied to canon and the other verses too.

I can see their interest being piqued because of a classmate showing off/bragging about their new baby sibling. Both go home that day and ask their parents about baby siblings.

Mei's parents are the type to sit her down and explain carefully that it was very difficult and scary for them to have her, and that a future bio-sibling is very unlikely. But that just means that they can save all their love for her! Mei is disappointed, but is content with her parents' explanation. Suppose she'll just redirect her big sister energy to MK.

MK is a very different story.

Pigsy and Tang (and SWK/LEM au dependent) are the types to change the conversation whenever MK's question about little siblings comes up. But MK is a determined kid and bugs his parents about it for weeks on. He even tries to seek outside help; praying to a shrine to Guanyin and writing it on his christmas list to see if the gods could help. His parents find it sweet, if a little concerning.

So in the "Cicada Lily au": when Tang comes home with baby Bai He in his arms, MK just starts *shouting* with joy.

MK: "It worked! I asked the Monkey King and it worked!"

He quickly has to be calmed down cus his exclamations are scaring the baby (and Tang whos still in shellshock at finding a baby in a box by the Monkey King's temple). And when his parents say that they need to give his brand new, gods-delivered baby sister to CPS so that they can see if she has any "real" family, MK has a full on tantrum. It takes him days to stop being mad at his dads.

Then one day, Tang kneels down and asks MK if he really, really wants to keep the "magic baby" as his baby sister. MK cuts Tang off mid-question with a "YES."

Cue Dadsy entering the room with the baby girl Tang found, now officially being fostered (adoption paperwork came later) and given the name "Bai He". MK has to cover his mouth to stop himself from shrieking with joy. His baby sister is so adorable! He covers her little pale face with kisses and promises that nothing will ever hurt her. Pigsy and Tang are adoring (and relieved) of their son's reaction.

MK 100% brags to Mei at school the next day about how he prayed to the Monkey King and how that led Baba Tang to find his baby sister. Mei is so gotdang jealous - she even tries asking her ancestors for a similar assist. XD

Wukong is extremely confused, cus he certainly hadn't a hand in the human baby's fate. But hey, his ward is a super-good big brother, so thats a bonus.

#cicada lily au #lmk aus #freenoodlesshipping #freenoodles #lmk mk #qi xiaotian #lmk bai he #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #lmk mei #long xiaojiao

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twinksintrees · 2 months

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so i am absolutely obsessed with @play-rough’s classification au on ao3 and it got to the point where i needed to make a whole playlist dedicated to it, so here it is, i hope you all like it.

playlist breakdown under the cut

understand: it’s the first song on here because of @/knoxx.tbox’s animatic, it’s gorgeous and everyone should check it out. it captures the gentle, caring part of their relationship perfectly.

little space: it’s just a song about little space, i also found the line “and i start to give in/to the sin/to the sin” very fitting for dazai because of just how much he hates his little head space.

hazel: sad tired dazai vibes, it makes me think of the second fic where he stays up all night, trying to drop but can’t, and the poor baby is just so out of it. “hold me tightly” he wants chuuya to hold him so, so badly. but he can’t say that, he can never just say what he wants, so he has to wait until he drops and then he has no choice, and he hates it. but yeah it also just soft sweet comforting vibes to me.

smoke signals: this one’s weird cuz unlike most of the songs on here where they’ll apply to either dazai or chuuya, this one has a stark divide of both. the first few lines “i know i’m a freak/ripped the band aid, broke the peace/took the lock but lost the key/guess i set you free” are so dazai it hurts. he thinks he’s a freak, he hates himself for his regression, he thinks leaving and getting out of chuuya’s space and life is setting him free from dazai. but that’s not what chuuya wants, the rest of the song is all about chuuya always welcoming him back, always wanting him there when he’s upset, wanting to be there and to help him. he wants to take care of his baby and for his baby to let him.

almost home: this one just gave me very gentle sweet vibes. it also made me think of the car ride back to chuuya’s apartment after dazai bit tsu and walked back to his shipping container alone and regressed, and just chuuya lulling small dazai to sleep and holding him, happy to have his baby back.

moon river: i wanted at least one nice lullaby on here and this is what my mom would always sing me so it’s just very personal to me lmao. just picturing chuuya humming/singing it to little dazai makes me v happy.

treehouse: the childhood friends vibe. “i’m the captain/but you can be the deputy” just like, describing their bond together. the closeness, the trust, all that.

escapism: this one’s all about dazai. him wanting to be free from his pain and wanting to be free from his little space, while also using his little space to escape his pain, if that makes sense.

beautiful boy: first off this songs just makes me insane second oughhhh chuuya singing it to dazai would end me. he’s chuuya’s boy, his sweet little baby. and chuuya will always be here for him, will always keep him safe, will always do his best to quiet the overwhelming voices in his head. they’re so soft it makes me unwell.

yellow: also a chuuya one, he’d do anything for baby dazai. he would bleed himself dry if it came down to it.

i need to be alone: dazai angst. the isolating himself when he feels little space coming on. the antsy-ness, the irritability, all of that. he doesn’t want to snap at chuuya, but he doesn’t know what else to do, doesn’t know how else to handle it. so he lashes out and somehow, still, chuuya is there. he hasn’t pushed him away yet. dazai doesn’t think he can handle the day he hits his limit.

i’ll die anyway: similar vein to the above. sad dazai.

juliet: the opening verse is so dazai core to me it hurts. “but i need to understand/when I can power through/and when i need some help from you/when i should stand my ground/and when i need to just sit down/sometimes i act like i know/but i’m really just a kid” all of this speak to dazai and his relationship with chuuya, specifically with accepting his help with his little space. he doesn’t know what to do, how to handle anything, when he’s little he is just a baby. chuuya knows what to do, what will help him feel better, knows how to take care of him and make him feel good. and dazai has mixed feelings on that, because he loves chuuya and he loves his attention, but it hurts to receive sometimes, and it hurts to not know what’s going on with himself, and that chuuya knows better what to do. he feels out of control and he doesn’t like it, but he still trusts chuuya and yeah it’s a whole thing.

i’ll keep you safe: chuuya song. very straight and to the point, chuuya just wants to keep dazai safe and happy and he wants to protect him, be there for him, quiet all the bad thoughts in his head. he knows how much it takes for dazai to regress at all, and the fact that he keeps doing it around chuuya (even though sometimes it is out of either of their control) just proves a huge amount of trust and chuuya values that so deeply, and that is a bond he would never dream of betraying or breaking.

rises the moon: imma be honest this one’s just for the soft vibes. i could see chuuya humming it as a lullaby, but mostly it just made me feel soft and happy so i put it on here.

small hands. this song. this song oh my god. i love this song so much it hurts. anyway it’s chuuya talking to dazai, “if you need come build your home in me, i can’t fix what was done to you, but i’ll shield you from the rain.” it’s chuuya knowing he can’t go back and erase dazai’s past, but being here for him now. he’s here now, and he’ll be here in the future. “cause i never mind, no matter the day or time, i never mind” chuuya would do anything to be there for dazai, it’s him telling him to reach out for help, telling him it’s okay, telling him he truly doesn’t mind, he wants this. he wants to care for him, to help. “and all the anchors that they hid inside your chest/we will unravel all of the chains/toss the remnants all down the drain” the anchors and chains being the trauma mori’s instilled about little space being bad. that dazai’s not supposed to, that he just push through and push it down and be fine. it’s chuuya telling him that’s not how it works, but together we can get you to regress safely and see that it’s not bad, it doesn’t have to scary, it can even be fun sometimes. it’s the slow process of working through all that trauma. “i will be there to pick up the pieces, and keep you housed while you bend them up” literally just chuuya always trying to have dazai over. his apartment is so much better than dazai’s shipping container. like just objectively. “if you wind up in the dark again/just turn and call my name/if the fire in your chest goes out/well i’ll hold you all the same” this whole bit also makes me think of after dazai bit tsu. “if you wind up in the dark again” is dazai going back to his container alone and scared. dazai doesn’t even need to call chuuya’s name before he’s showing up to help him, even if it’s a bumpy ride getting on the same page. “well i’ll hold you all the same” goes for chuuya’s feelings towards dazai in general. he wants to care for dazai in and out of headspace, it’s just the type of care looks different depending on where dazai’s at. sometimes it’s holding him in his arms, sometimes it’s pulling him back from a ledge. sometimes it’s gently feeding him a bottle, sometimes it’s forcibly fighting him into dry, clean clothes so he doesn’t get sick. and now for my favorite line “if you need to take this out on me/well you know i won’t complain” it’s chuuya never getting angry at dazai’s outbursts in headspace, cuz he knows how hard it is, how hard his baby is trying, he just doesn’t know what else to do with his overwhelming feelings. so chuuya takes his outbursts and handles them, and he’ll never hold them against his baby, because he’s literally just a baby what else is he supposed to do but cry and lash out when he’s tired and grumpy.

tired: sad tired dazai and specifically the line “cause i’ve been eating less all day/to give my brain some extra space to think.”

coffee: I know it’s called coffee but honestly this makes me think of chuuya prepping dazai’s bottles, making sure it’s just the right temperature, the right flavors for his baby. vanilla and strawberry, something more special than just milk. it’s cute.

feb 14: honestly i just kept coming back to this song and the playlist didn’t feel complete without it but i couldn’t tell you why, i don’t have a real detailed reason for it other than vibes.

this side of paradise: chuuya not wanting dazai to feel lonely/be alone and scared while in headspace. “come be lonely with me” all that jazz. i chose the slow version cuz the og felt to fast paced and overwhelming compared to the rest of the playlist, and i this fit it better.

#i’m very normal #it’s 2 am i’ve been working on this for 3 hours lmao #anyway once this is posted i’m gonna start the series over for the 5th time #normal things normal things #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs agere #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #sorry if any of this doesn’t make sense i barely proof read it #also it’s 2 am so i’m sleepy

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