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dykehayleywilliams · 8 months
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now presenting.... a showdown for the most iconic hayley williams outfit of all time!
Currently in round 2!
Active Polls: Hangout Music Fest 2015 v. SXSW 2013 | House of Blues 2009 v. Paraween 2022
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Round 1 eliminations: Parahoy 2016 star jeans | Honda Civic tour promo | Fallon 2023 | MTV Music Awards 2013 | Have A Nice Day | CMTs 2011 | Warped Tour 2007 | VMAs 2008 | Still Into You MV | Told You So MV | EMAs 2010 | VMAs 2009 | Little Mermaid shirt | Warped Tour 2011 | The Smiths shirt | Security | Rock AM Ring 2013 | Riot Fest 2017 | Oversized camo jacket | SXSW press 2013 | Kimmel 2017 rehearsal | Eras Tour Night 1 | Boston 2017 | Fresno 2009 | Oklahoma City 2022 | I love Parawhores | Bakersfield 2022 | We Can Survive 2014 | GMA 2017 | MTV TRL 2007 | Empress Ballroom 2005 | BNE Tour baseball tee
Round 2 eliminations: The Forum 2018 | Leeds 2014 | Playing God MV | Wembley 2013 | ACL Weekend 1 2022 | Paramore is a BAND | The News MV | Tulsa 2023 | Daddy hat | B.O.Y | Summer Sonic 2009 | Toronto 2022 | The Fillmore 2013 | Soundwave 2013
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tybaku · 3 years
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/30691259/chapters/77712440
Midoriya Izuku finds the incarnation of beauty and divinity sitting at a window of a hole-in-the-wall café just a few blocks away from home.
Or: An artist in search of inspiration unexpectedly finds a new muse.
Chapter 2: Him
Bakugou Katsuki finds himself standing at the foot of an altar fit for something more than a god at a quarter to 1.
The day is bright and clear, and the sun is hot on his head and shoulders. It’s too early to be out here, and yet too late, and there was already a thin crowd formed, curled around the centerpiece like a halo, or a crown. Katsuki shifts where he stands, dark eyes never leaving the piece of art on the bricked alleyway wall. He barely breathes.
He had been dragged here not out of his own accord, directly after a nearly two hour long elective class that was nothing but a bore, despite it sounding vaguely interesting down on paper.
“Analysis of Modern Art and Media 101” taught by Aizawa Shouta had been a bust of a class to choose, and each time Katsuki attends he wonders why the hell there is more of the same damn class, judging by the fact there was a 101 tacked on at the end of the name, and also it was probably the most soul-sucking class he was taking this school year. Katsuki doesn’t even care about art!
And yet, he’s still standing here. He’s standing here in a dingy, dirty back alley and gawking up at this piece of artwork like some kind of fool, his hands curling up inside his pockets. There’s a red warmth to his face that isn’t from the afternoon sun, and vaguely he thinks, maybe he could learn to care about art. Maybe he could learn to care because of this and this only.
“It’s me,” Katsuki says, not fully aware of his surroundings, or the murmurs that trickle about the little sea of people in the alleyway that are witnessing the same thing he is.
Because it is him, it’s the best version of him he’s ever laid eyes on. It’s a perception of him so pure and human, and flawless to the point where it’s perfection is debatable, and he has to take another look at it to really see what’s there. He’s wrong, the painting isn’t perfect, but it’s authentic. It isn't flawless, but it’s him, really and truly him; near flesh as it can get with its graffiti lines and colors and shapes.
Katsuki doesn’t want to look away.
Kirishima, the very guy who had brought him out here to view the godly offering on the wall, then pats his shoulder and grips onto him. “It’s you, man. Your mentions are sky high,” he says, eyebrows raised and obviously impressed. He shakes Katsuki a little when he becomes the victim of a dirty looking side-eye, wearing a little frown. “What?”
Katsuki shrugs his shoulder harshly, effectively shooing his friend off. “The hell you on about, shithair,” he says more than he asks. Kaminari’s head then pops up from beside them unexpectedly, with Ashido right on his toes, smiling from ear to ear. There’s a mischievous little glint in their eyes that they share unabashedly, and Katsuki sneers at it.
“Oh, you haven’t heard? You’re trending!” the other, less important blond exclaims, fishing out his phone to wave it around in Katsuki’s face. “Well, more like the art itself trending, but people are recognizing you! Tagging you in the pics on Insta, at’ing you on Twitter, linking you to this one art blog and shit like—” Kaminari only stops when Katsuki starts to bat his hands at him angrily, irritated at the fact he didn’t understand a word he was saying.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Kaminari makes an ugly looking face like he took a whiff of something foul, but Katsuki smells sweet as hell, thank you very much; his shampoo and conditioner have black and white charcoal in them. “Dude do you even check your phone like, ever? This”—Kaminari waves giant circles in front of Katsuki’s portrait as Katsuki himself mumbles a quiet I mute that shit during class—“is trending. Trending.”
Before Katsuki could tear one into him, Ashido pats at her friend’s shoulder, squeezing herself into the terrible excuse of a conversation. “I think he gets it, babe. What Denki’s trying to say is that this”—she gestures to the painting—“is gaining a whole lot of traction right now, not only because it’s stunning, but because the artist is literally one of the biggest deals in Japan right now. Deku’s like, hot-hot. He’s practically famous in the modern art scene, and he just painted your portrait without you even knowing about it. Do you really have no idea how huge this is?”
And, no, Katsuki doesn’t know, since there wasn’t even a reason why he would know in the first place (again, that modern art class sucks, and even though Aizawa-sensei was good enough of a teacher, Katsuki sometimes thinks even he didn’t want to be teaching it from the way he talks and lectures so tonelessly, a whole new level of bored flat) so the only thing he can do is blink, and blink, and glare as he tries to take in this new information.
It’s weird, isn’t it? Katsuki has never heard of this “Deku” guy, despite his supposed status, and suddenly he’s got a whole mural dedicated to him by the guy? He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with any of this, and he can’t even bring himself to be angry about it. He’s just confused, out of place, and so damn flattered that it’s absolutely ridiculous. Someone painted his portrait and painted it well. It should feel freaky, because it is; it’s an unfathomable situation, but it doesn’t really feel anything less than nice. Really damn nice.
“Oh my god,” Kaminari gasps suddenly, the back of his hand hitting the top of Ashido’s chest in exaggerated shock and disbelief, “do you guys know what this means?”
Katsuki’s eyes find their way back to himself. His profile is sharp and frustrated. Kirishima gasps, eyes blown wide in anticipation. “What?” he asks Kaminari quickly, ever the little worrywart of their group. Katsuki raised an eyebrow.
Kaminari goes smug, a little warp appearing in his dumb smile. “Kats-kun here’s got a not-so-secret admirer,” he sings in a tease, wiggling a little in place.
Despite the weird feeling curling in his chest, Katsuki scoffs at the claim, rolling his eyes. “More like a stalker,” he says, but his so-called friends outright ignore him, and turn their attention to, well, him.
Ashido giggles in delight, clapping her hands. “Oh that’s so true, there’s no way this isn’t a romantic thing! I mean, he even got Kats’ little pouty glare right!” she exclaims loud enough for everyone in the alley to overhear, like an idiot.
Katsuki narrows his eyes, and he swears one of them twitches. “My what,” he says more than asks.
Kaminari decides to take the mic, like a dumbass. “You know that thing you do when you get all frustrated about something and you try to pout, but it looks more like you wanna commit first degree murder or something?”
Katsuki doesn’t have any chance to maim him for the explanation he has unfortunately asked for, because Ashido is shrieking again, grabbing Kaminari and holding him close to her in excitement. “Oh my gosh, you’re so right! This is so romantic!” she draws it out annoyingly, before it becomes a straight up whine. “That’s so unfair! Why are you getting romanced and not me?”
And it’s not his place to say, so “Because Spikey has no balls,” stays trapped in between Katsuki’s grit teeth.
Sero then miraculously appears from somewhere behind Kaminari, a muffin and even Shinsou in tow, and Katsuki groans up to the sky when instead of saying something useful he decides to say, “They got that little beauty mark on his cheekbone too,” with a stupid smirk.
Blinking tiredly, Shinsou adds on “That’s some attention to detail,” like it means anything. “Though they missed most of the other ones.” He starts to unwrap his own muffin, peeling back the thin paper with his teeth. Katsuki wants nothing more than for him to choke on it.
“Hanta! Hitoshi!” Kaminari yells, as if the pair of them weren’t standing barely three feet from him. He reaches over and happily pulls Shinsou under his arm as Sero stalks over to Ashido. “Where you’ve been! You missed the big reaction!”
Sero lifts his hand. “Getting a muffin,” he says flatly.
Shinsou nods in agreement, humming in amusement. “Bet he blushed like a flower.” He takes a bite out of his muffin as Kaminari laughs and jokingly goes to bite at the bread.
And if Katsuki goes a little warm in the face at the dumb claim, it’s no one’s damn business. “What the hell does that even mean,” he snarls unkindly, crossing his arms.
Shinsou unwraps the other side of his muffin with his hands this time, and actually allows Kaminari to take a small bite. “I said what I said,” he shrugs, unapologetic.
“Oo, new slur dropped.” Ashido wiggles her pink eyebrows. Sero snorts, and Kirishima laughs amiably at her.
Katsuki has terrible friends, he decides, and they all can go burn in the under. He shoots them all a heavy glare they all ignore in favor of oohing and ahhing at his portrait. Shinsou looks over at him after a quick inspection of the piece. “So,” he starts, giving up the rest of his muffin to Kaminari’s grubby little hands, “what’re you gonna do?”
Katsuki raises an eyebrow, expression and stance slanted slightly to the right as he crosses his arms over his chest and cocked out his hip, leaning most of his weight onto one foot. “Hah? The hell you talking about?”
Shinsou blinks plainly at him. “The graffiti, genius. You think it’s weird, right? Figured you want to beat the guy’s face in for painting you without permission, or something.”
Katsuki frowns. Shinsou isn’t wrong really, or at least he shouldn’t be, but Katsuki doesn’t feel like violence was the answer here. (A shocker, he knows, but can you blame him? It’s like wanting to punish the Earth for rotating, or the sun for setting at the end of the day. Punishing the moon for moving the tides, and many other metaphors Katsuki can’t think of at the moment.)
He doesn’t want to go about this the wrong way. Beating his admirer’s (damn it, he means artist, thanks a lot Pinky ‘n Sparky) face into a pulp is definitely the worst approach he could possibly take. There ought to be a better, and much more appropriate option, shouldn’t there? What exactly should be done in this instance? What could he do?
There’s only one thing, really.
“I’m gonna find him.”
It’s easier said than done in a weird way, tracking down Deku. He really is a popular and well-known young artist, and his art is plastered practically all over every social media you can think of. He’s got his fair share of admirers and haters, and critiques of his more professional work (he’s not just a street artist like Katsuki had first assumed a few days ago, he’s actually got even better pieces than Katsuki’s portrait, if you can believe it) range from big art magazines to small internet influencers. There’s all kinds of stuff about his artwork, including videos and articles.
Deku’s work speaks to all kinds of people, he finds out.
Though unfortunately, there isn’t any public information about the artist himself. In fact, Deku is a pseudonym, and there is virtually no personal information pertaining to him anywhere. His identity is kept closely underwraps, and any interviews with him are all written word (Katsuki knows this because he has scoured all of Youtube trying to find a video with Deku, and has come up empty handed). Katsuki has absolutely no method of contacting him about the alleyway art, and no way of finding him about town.
Pushing his laptop away an inch, Katsuki sighs and takes a sip of his coffee. He’s hit yet another dead end on this art blog in his search for Deku’s damn contact information. It’s terribly frustrating at this point, because he’s so close it’s ridiculous. He’s pretty sure he’s figured out who Deku actually is: Midoriya Izuku, a journalist who looks to be based here in Musutafu, and the guy whose blog Katsuki’s been snooping through for the past three days.
The guy’s got a plethora of articles and photography on a number of different artists, but according to the internet, he’s more known to be a Deku enthusiast, and most of his material stems from Deku’s artwork. In fact, he’s already got an article up about Katsuki’s portrait, dated three days ago. That was the first giveaway.
If you look through Deku’s official Instagram, Katsuki’s portrait (titled Musutafu Delight, after the side of the café it was painted on, but Katsuki ain’t gonna call it anything else but his portrait) was posted bright and early at 7 in the morning three days ago, and Midoriya’s article on The Canvas about said portrait was posted not ten minutes later. Awfully speedy for someone who is allegedly not even the artist of the piece, no?
And if you read through Midoriya’s blog and Deku’s written interviews, the connection between them becomes even more glaringly obvious due to the fact Midoriya writes his articles similarly to the way Deku does in his interviews, so much so that it couldn’t possibly be counted as a mere coincidence. Their wording and phrasing of things is near exact, and their pools of vocabulary are closely shared.
Plus, you’d have to be an idiot to not see where the artist’s pseudonym comes from.
“Deku can be derived from the same kanji as Izuku. It’s literally the same,” Katsuki had explained to his stupidly incredulous group of friends, who dismissed his “theory” on Deku’s true identity like the bunch of morons they were. The only one who seemed even halfway convinced was Sleepy, and even then he just looked amused at Katsuki’s frustration trying to map out what he was talking about to the rest of the group in his overly simple terms.
Anyway, Katsuki had little to no doubt about Deku’s real identity, but that didn’t exactly mean it made finding the guy any easier. Seriously, what kind of a dimwit doesn’t even put down their email on their own goddamn blog?
Deku, apparently.
Katsuki sighs once more before sipping what was left of his coffee and exiting out of Midoriya’s blog with a dull click. Without any other clear leads, there wasn’t much he could do in regards to finding the guy, and he rather not run himself ragged trying to do so all at once. He could always chase his tail looking for Deku later, since he wasn’t really getting anywhere anyway. Such a damn shame.
Unexpectedly a throat clears, and Katsuki looks up halfway prepared to throw a scowl at Kirishima’s stupid little smile (Katsuki told him specifically not to bother him today since he had so much shit to get done, which may or may not have been an excuse to keep on internet “stalking” Deku, as Sparky and Sleepy so eloquently put it), but finds a completely different stupid little smile he doesn’t recognize by a long shot.
It’s a guy with a scatter of freckles all over his face and green highlights in his curly black hair. He has big round eyes and a healthy pink glow to his cheeks. In short, he’s cute, but he carries himself like a wounded animal, a shy and skittish little thing. He looks like a big dork in his glasses and sweater splattered with paint at the hem.
“Hi,” the dork says in a sort of sigh filled to the brim with nerves as his fingertips flinch around the little ringed book he carries in his hands.
Katsuki quickly fits a frown onto his face, intentionally standoffish to lure this four-eyed man away. Somehow, it doesn’t work, and instead of being deterred by the attitude he was putting on, the man sits himself down in the empty seat in front of him, a wobbled smile on his lips. Katsuki narrows his eyes slightly, annoyed but impressed by the gall of the nerdy looking guy.
“Uh, my name is M-Midoriya Izuku, I’m a full time artist and journalist and”—the guy shifts in his seat and lets out a huge huff—“wow, you are super pretty up close.”
Katsuki blinks, and promptly blushes like a flower. (Thanks for that, Sleepy.) He didn’t take Deku for the bold type.
“I, um. That’s not what I—Well, yeah I did mean that, you are very pretty—uh, handsome, but that’s not what I—”
Scratch that, Deku definitely wasn’t the bold type, just the “doesn’t think before speaking” type. Fortunately, Katsuki was well acquainted with those types (i.e. his friends), so he doesn’t find it as annoying as he would've. Plus, Deku wasn’t saying anything bad, he was complimenting him.
“You’re fine,” Katsuki has to cut him off from his quick paced rambling. Every word had sounded like it was stuffed into the last, jumbled and nearly indecipherable.
“You’re Deku, right? I got your message,” he smirks in a tease as he leans back casually. Spikey and Pinky were going to freak when Katsuki told them he found Deku, and Sparky was going to eat his words. (Midoriya isn’t Deku, his ass. All the clues were right there. In plain sight.)
Deku stops, and then color bursts into his face. “How did you…” he drifts off, speechless for the first time since he sat down. Katsuki raises his brows and then holds up a finger in a hold on gesture, clicking his laptop awake and opening up his history tab. He turns the screen so Deku can see all the websites he’s visited in the past three days.
At a glance, it’s obvious everything is related to Deku and his artwork, but Deku’s lips downturn in confusion and Katsuki has to explain. “It’s research. Was trying to find the dork who painted my face on the side of the café,” he says as Deku gives a little squeak. Katsuki clicks the most recent tab and opens up The Canvas, aka Deku’s blog.
“You said your name was Midoriya Izuku? Full time artist and journalist? Izuku can be read as Deku, meaning either you are Deku, you work with Deku, or you’re some freak obsessed with Deku. Your pick,” Katsuki finishes before turning his laptop back toward him and clicking it to sleep.
Deku only gapes at him, eyes wide and shining in something Katsuki could only describe as awe. “You’re amazing,” he says in a certain way that entails he was talking before thinking again, and weirdly enough, Katsuki feels an unexpected warmth in his chest because of it.
“Bakugou Katsuki, by the way. And I ain’t a snitch. It’s obvious you wanna keep your identity a secret. Just knowing I’m right is enough. Did’ya want something from me, Freckles?” Katsuki lolls his head to the side, staring Deku down and ignoring the tingling in his hands.
Deku startles slightly, one step behind and still mouthing Bakugou under his breath like he was trying to familiarize himself with it. Weird, but cute in a way. Deku shifts around in his seat, fiddling around with his fingers in his lap. “Oh well, um. It’s nice to meet you, Bakugou-san, and I, uh…actually had a proposition for you?”
Katsuki wrinkles his nose, but nods at him to continue.
Deku gives him a shy little smile, one that crinkles the tiny freckle above his top lip. “Would you like to model for me?”
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Text
words like poison in my throat
wc: 1,846
pairing: jonathan sims/crowe feather (self insert)
tags: Fluff, Aromantic, aro jonathan sims, Self Insert, i can have little a self projection, as a treat
summary:
Crowe Feather is not good at love.
He’s never been. It’s not something that comes naturally - not like singing or reading the cards. Everyone around him seems to be able to just… feel it, but whenever he sees someone that he could be interested in, he has to pry his brain for answers about whether he’s in love or just delusional. And those answers are never clear.
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loving words don't come easy to everyone
read on ao3
Crowe Feather is not good at love.
He’s never been. It’s not something that comes naturally - not like singing or reading the cards. Everyone around him seems to be able to just… feel it, but whenever he sees someone that he could be interested in, he has to pry his brain for answers about whether he’s in love or just delusional. And those answers are never clear.
He’s tried asking his deck before, but whenever he reads about love, it’s like all the emotion and power usually packed into flipping over that card disappears, and he is left with nothing but a dull, twisting frustration and sickness in his gut.
He figures it’s probably just because love seems to be so damn unreachable, so unpredictable that even the cards have no idea what its true mechanisms are, so he just sighs and slips away his deck and goes back to doing a mental tumbling routine about whether or not he even cares about whatever person he’s decided to try and take a fancy to.
That’s another thing. He has to try. No one else seems to have to do that. He’s never heard a love song talking about the process of forcing those feelings into his chest and wearing them like a cheap costume. He’s never seen a romcom with a protagonist who stumbles over himself trying to grasp at whatever he’s supposed to feel.
He feels utterly alone in the way he seems to experience love. And it kinda fucking sucks.
It’s not that he doesn’t want that! He does! A lot! He wants kissing, and cuddling, and holding each other tight, and going through life with a person that you’ve dedicated your whole heart to. And maybe the words, all the “I love you”s and “you make my heart skip a beat”s and “you’re my everything”s don’t actually mean anything to him, but they’re still a nice sentiment even if he feels like a disgusting liar when he wrenches them from his throat, so he plays along with whatever will make him feel like he’s doing this right for once.
(Truly, deep down - he never feels like he’s doing it right, but it’s the illusion that’s actually important to him. Even if he doesn’t want to admit it.)
So, imagine Crowe’s pure and utter delight when he meets Jon, and for once?
For once, it’s fucking easy.
Their first date is a breeze. He doesn’t find himself trying desperately to draw up empty words and feelings. Instead, they talk for hours, and Jon’s a little stuck up and he’s got his guard up at first, but walls break down easily and by the end of the day he’s laughing at all the same stupid jokes Crowe is.
They never say I love you, never talk about any kind of romantic feelings or mushy ideas about love at first sight. But they talk, and talk, and talk, and Crowe is finding that far, far better than anything he’s ever had before.
He decides to label this new feeling, this spark of connection, as love. Finally, he’s feeling love.
(And honestly, he’s not wrong. But maybe it’s not the kind of love Crowe thinks he’s feeling.)
He dives headfirst into this new experience, and suddenly he’s seeing Jon almost every single day, usually on his lunch break when he goes to visit him down in the Archives (despite how odd that building makes him feel). They still don’t talk of romance - instead, they talk of everything else, and the words flow from Crowe’s mouth easily and readily.
Even the first time he gives Jon a kiss on the cheek - not even thinking about it, a kiss goodbye as Crowe realizes he needs to head back before his lunch break ends - feels natural, normal. It feels good, makes his chest flutter and makes his heart soar. Jon is flustered, stammering and more nervous than Crowe’s ever seen him but he’s smiling a real, genuine smile and brushing fingers over the place Crowe pressed his lips to.
When everything begins to happen, they still stay strong, and the connection they have only grows and toughens, weathering against the storm that has become their lives.
Nothing that whatever fucking awful fear gods control the world can throw at them even comes close to breaking them. They are in love, Crowe knows. They are in love and love is the most powerful fucking thing on the planet and maybe in this God-forsaken universe.
A lot happens, and they both change. For the better and for the worse. But by the end of it all, they are together, and they know that they are in love.
But they’ve never said it.
Years later, as they both relax in a cottage, bought with the stolen money of a certain avatar of the Lonely, they’ve still never said the words that most people would consider absolutely paramount to a stable relationship.
Because for all the things they’ve been through and for all the love that has grown, the words still feel foreign on Crowe’s tongue, heavy like a weight in his throat, blocking them from surfacing. Jon never asks, and frankly, they don’t have time to consider it at all, so it never comes up. Crowe is grateful for that.
But they’ve got all the time in the world now.
They’re on the couch one night, the TV playing but not being watched (ironically). Crowe is nestled under Jon’s arm, snuggled as close as they can get without some kind of horrific body horror. It’s comfortable, but Crowe can feel the tension in the air - something like words unspoken that make dread build in his gut.
He knows what’s coming, and as much as he doesn’t want it to happen, he’s going to let it. Because he is in love with Jon, and saying as much will not be hard, even if the words taste like empty bile.
Jon starts to say something, then hesitates, leaving the breath hanging in the air between them.
“Crowe, have we ever said I love you?”
Crowe shifts. “No, I don’t think so.”
Jon is quiet for a moment, and Crowe braces like he’s about to fucking break up with him. (Those are more words that taste awful to him - although not for the reasons you’d think, because ‘breaking up’ implies things to everyone else that Crowe does not like to think about.)
“Hm,” Jon says simply. “Is this… something we should talk about?”
“I mean, it’s not like it’s caused problems for us so far,” Crowe points out, and he tries to make it sound casual but there is a defensive bite in his tone that he can’t hide.
“Yes, but… shouldn’t we address it?” Jon asks. “If only to figure out… why?”
Crowe swallows. “...and if we arrive at the conclusion that it’s better left unsaid?”
“Well, then we just won’t say it,” Jon says, and he makes it sound easy.
“S’pose you’re right,” Crowe says.
“Where do we even start with that?”
“I guess,” Crowe starts, then trails off, gathering his words carefully. “What we… feel is probably a good starting place. If we feel like those words are even… accurate.”
“Right,” Jon says, quietly, like he’s just been confronted with another piece of a puzzle he thought he finished. “...can you start?”
Crowe swallows. He does not want to start but that’s more of a symptom of not wanting to say anything at all, so he pushes it aside. He knew he’d have to talk about this at some point, and it was better to be honest now than just prolong the inevitable.
“Well, I… I do… I care about you,” Crowe says, drawing it out so he can properly organize his thoughts. “A great deal. I hope you know that. Whatever I say, I care about you more than words can say and I feel like you’re my best friend and I miss you terribly when you’re gone. But…
But love has never felt like the word for what I feel about you. Even if it’s accurate, it still… feels wrong, somehow. Like if I say it, I’ll be… lying. And I’ve done it before, I’ve lied to others, but that’s not what I want to do with you. I don’t want to put on the same song and dance when I know it really is just a performance. I wanna be honest.”
Jon blinks, and says nothing. Crowe feels like the world is fucking falling away. He’s ruined everything, he’s absolutely sure of it, and all he wants to do is take it all back and say he was joking, but it’s not like that would work.
Then, he chuckles, and it’s soft and makes Crowe feel at least a little better. It helps him ease into what Jon says next, so it’s not as much of a cold water shock.
“I know how you feel.”
“You do?”
“Yes, and I - I’ve been dreading telling you because I thought that you would think that meant I didn’t actually care for you or love you,” Jon explains. “But I do, it’s just - it’s not in the way everyone else would, it’s not… it’s not romantic, it’s different than that. I think maybe… I’m not even capable of feeling that way. Like that part of my brain just… doesn’t exist.”
Crowe is left with nothing to say because Jon has said all of it and he cannot believe that what he was feeling even had words and that Jon could even explain it much less feel the same exact way.
He just sits there, wondering why it never hit him before, why he never fit the puzzle pieces together. Of course he can’t feel love the same way other people do - he can’t feel romantic love at all. It’s always been forced, it’s always been wrong, and it was always a mask for other things, other feelings. He feels like he’s watching his life flash behind his eyes and suddenly make sense, like the foreshadowing to a plot twist he never saw coming.
“Yeah, I - yeah,” he says, finally, after a long time. “Yeah.”
There’s a pause, and the silence is comfortable, but he’s still got worry in his chest.
“This isn’t going to make anything… different, right?” he asks, slowly.
“Not like it’s affected anything so far, so hopefully not,” Jon says. “We seem to have figured out accidentally.”
Crowe snorts with a laugh. “Well, glad we got that sorted,” he says.
Jon laughs too, and it warms Crowe from the inside. “Me too,” he says.
Crowe does love Jon. Really. Truly. Maybe not in the way other people would expect him to - maybe not even in the way he expected himself to. But he does.
And maybe, one day he’ll be able to say it without feeling like he’s lying, without the connotations everyone else seems to place on those three words, but for now, he’s alright letting the silence and a gentle kiss speak to them instead.
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nothingunrealistic · 5 years
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👀 okay I'm starting to get into billions (bc of will). Can you recommend some essential episodes or something to get an understanding for what's happening? (And also I really like Asia Kate Dillon so like important episodes with them too)
the tricky thing about billions is that those of us who are into it aren’t, for the most part, actually watching the episodes in full or trying to understand all the plotlines. so if you want to know what’s happening with Everyone on the show (which is a dizzying number of characters), i can’t really pare it down to what’s important because i refuse to care about like half of them. but if, as it seems, you’re primarily here for winston and taylor (will’s and asia’s characters respectively), then good news - that’s almost all we care about too
the essential episodes for understanding winston are easy enough because he’s only shown up in five so far (3x03, 3x09, 3x11, 4x03, 4x08, and 4x11) for a couple minutes each, and all footage of him has been lovingly collated and posted on here. his first several appearances, and the context for them, are collected here; his moments from the most recent episode, which we were yelling about all day on sunday, are here. (he’ll be in this coming sunday’s episode too, which is also the season finale, so expect even more yelling about that.)
narrowing down the Essential Taylor is a little trickier because they’ve been in nearly every episode of seasons 2 3 and 4, of which i have watched exactly one episode. if billions had a decent fan wiki or anything similar, i would direct you to that, but they don’t, because they suck. the main way i keep up with the episodes/figure out what happened in previous seasons is via fan-run sites (which are superior to the recaps on Professional Media Websites usually), as follows:
fanfunwithdamianlewis has multiple recaps of every episode (including some from people who actually understand and can explain the financial stuff going on), as well as lists of all the locations shown, transcripts of cast interviews, and other fun stuff, all thoroughly tagged with actor and character names
gingesbecray has a recap of every episode as well (including gifs), always very detailed and entertainingly opinionated in ways we generally agree with
the billions companion collects and explains all the references that characters make (which is half the dialogue), sorted by episode, character, and keyword, as well as listing a wide array of other helpful sites
from these sites, the decent number of clips floating around youtube, and a collection of all taylor’s dialogue in seasons 2 & 3, we’ve pieced together the basic arc taylor’s had in the show so far. here’s my best approach at a season-by-season highlights reel (with links to relevant clips in bold) under the cut  because it’s ridiculously long
season 2: taylor arrives at axe capital as an intern. axe recognizes their talent and convinces them to stay, and they gain experience, status, and respect at axe cap over the course of the season, becoming the chief investment officer by season’s end.
2x01: taylor is an intern working for mafee (an executing trader at axe cap), and mafee wants them to stay once their internship is over.
2x02: taylor meets axe and impresses him with their insight. though taylor knows they don’t fit in at axe cap and plans to leave for grad school, axe later convinces them to stay, with a salary of a million dollars for a year.
2x03: taylor gets invited to play at a charity poker tournament (a real thing!), to the chagrin of others at axe cap. taylor has reservations but ultimately agrees to play; they win the tournament by outthinking their opponent, but are reminded of how out of place they are in hedge fund culture.
2x07: taylor is involved in figuring out what to do about a struggling small town that axe cap is heavily invested in.
2x08: taylor notices that mafee has been struggling at his job ever since he introduced them to axe, and asks wendy (who’s married to chuck [one of the main Legal Side characters], the performance coach at axe cap, and one of axe’s closest friends) if they should do anything about it. (ultimately taylor decides to assuage the guilt by giving mafee a signed wrestling poster. that’s the world of finance for you!)
2x09: axe’s birthday party, which everyone is expected to attend, is in conflict with taylor’s personal life, so they talk to him about what they should do and why they’re conflicted.
2x10: taylor is questioned by connerty (another of the characters on the legal side of things, who we don’t care about otherwise) about what happens at axe cap.
2x11: taylor is warned by connerty that this line of work might endanger their soul. they’re also given the responsibility of assessing all the analysts at axe cap and firing one - and told that it can’t be based solely on the numbers - and decide not to fire rudy, who is the worst performing analyst but is dedicated to succeeding.
2x12: axe is arrested/indicted/somehow penalized for insider trading and other hedge fund shenanigans, and he puts taylor in charge of axe cap’s investments.
season 3: taylor keeps axe capital running and thriving in axe’s absence, but once he returns, he overrules their decisions and undercuts their trust, leading them to start their own hedge fund (taylor mason capital, or tmc) by season’s end.
3x01: taylor calls a meeting at axe cap and tasks everyone with preparing for an Idea Dinner where they’ll impress other hedge funds with a new and exciting plan for making money. ultimately taylor comes up with a plan that involves reverse engineering microchips, and it goes over well.
3x02: taylor struggles with making the right choices of investments after a tsunami hits brazil, confronts axe when he shows up at the office despite being banned from trading, and talks with him later about how the day has gone and how to move forward.
3x03: taylor interviews quantitative analysts (”quants”) for axe cap, much to the chagrin of analysts who are worried about losing their jobs and traders who don’t trust computers. ultimately none are hired because wags (the COO of axe cap and the epitome of everything absolutely wild about billions), who conducted the interview with taylor, doesn’t trust quants either and sabotaged the process. (this is also where winston first appears! hi winston!)
3x04: taylor expects a space mission led by weird off brand elon musk to fail and invests accordingly. they’re rooting for him anyway and are horrified when he dies in an explosion after launch. they also deal with attempts to get them to invest in a charitable organization brought to axe’s attention by oscar langstraat, a venture philanthropist, and wind up with significant distaste for oscar.
3x05: taylor encounters oscar again in silicon valley where they’re hearing pitches, and though they’re hostile to him at first, a conversation about star wars makes taylor regret that they made other plans for dinner, and playing an obscure board game is enough for them to sleep with him. (like i said: enemies to lovers speedrun!)
3x06: taylor is “rattled” (their word) by something related to axe’s legal troubles in this episode. oscar flies in from silicon valley unannounced to keep taylor company while they’re working on their quant project because he’s That invested. no clips of any of this online though
3x07: axe and wendy are planning to convince mafee to take the blame for some shady investing they did at the end of last season, and taylor inadvertently enables them to do it by giving them information about how mafee thinks and what he believes in.
3x08: axe returns to axe cap free to trade again, and immediately undoes all of taylor’s work (including the quant project), though he also invites them to join the team that will raise money for axe cap. taylor wants a fund of their own to manage (still affiliated with axe cap but separate), but axe won’t give them as much money for it as he’s promising.
3x09: axe needs money and tries to take some from grigor andolov, a russian oil oligarch, which taylor thinks is a terrible idea. they also restart the quant project again, in secret, which means winston’s back! winston & taylor’s meeting in a room with a chalkboard and taylor’s introduction of the quants to the quant headquarters are both from this episode.
3x10: taylor and oscar are celebrating a deal that oscar’s about to make, but when taylor mentions it to axe in asking for his help with getting a dinner reservation, axe, who’s searching for more sources of money, makes the deal before oscar can, which crushes taylor and ends their relationship. 
3x11: taylor discovers that winston has driven off the other quants, but asks him to work on The Algorithm instead of firing him. it’s also comp time - axe won’t give taylor as much of a bonus as they want and also removes them from the capital raise team; this decision is later reversed when taylor talks to wendy and wendy talks to axe. winston completes The Algorithm, and taylor emerges from the quant basement into the offices of taylor mason capital to talk to grigor.
3x12: taylor meets with grigor and convinces him to invest in tmc, arrives (late) to the capital raise event and impresses the investors there, swipes a good portion of that capital for tmc, and leaves axe cap for good, having successfully convinced mafee (and failing to convince ben kim) to join them. axe and taylor argue about taylor’s betrayal and what comes next. taylor also tries and fails to bring wendy to tmc.
season 4: taylor strives to keep tmc successful while fending off axe’s repeated attacks and dealing with their own interpersonal relationships interfering with business. how will it end? we don’t yet know [UPDATE: it ends with taylor making deals with both axe and chuck, but truly being on no one’s side except their own.]
4x01: taylor, mafee, and sara (taylor’s COO) struggle to hire employees due to axe paying off tmc’s headhunter (though they don’t initially know that’s the case). taylor disguises themself as a cis woman to get money from a sovereign wealth fund that axe cap is also seeking money from. (the full episode is available on youtube.)
4x02: taylor can’t get funding because axe has persuaded all the banks to cut them off. grigor brings in a pair of shady brothers to invest in tmc; taylor would really rather not depend on the brothers’ money, so they trick the banker the brothers are using into cutting off their credit lines and ask grigor to use his influence to get independent funding for tmc.
4x03: axe cap has managed to get a hold of tmc’s trading patterns, and they start front running tmc (making trades based on what they expect tmc to do) to throw taylor off. (this is where winston comes in again! and declares himself cassandra!) taylor’s dad, douglas, shows up and spends nearly all of his screentime either persistently misgendering taylor or helping them create a mathematical equation, which includes a mistake added by taylor as a message to axe (who of course is watching) for a meeting. when they meet, taylor asks axe for a truce, and he declines.
4x04: grigor brings down axe cap’s whole computer system, allowing tmc to profit off a natural gas crisis that axe cap was hoping to benefit from. taylor also agrees to support douglas’s aerospace project, a “lattice grid fin,” now that he’s actually respecting them as a person. but the climax of this episode is chuck talking about his and wendy’s sex life in front of the press, and taylor calls wendy afterward to offer sympathy. (and chuck, who subsequently wins his election, gets grigor deported and his money frozen.)
4x05: taylor is #Stressed about the loss of grigor’s money, which endangers tmc overall and douglas’s project especially. sara brings in lauren, an investor relations expert, to help out; lauren gets taylor a meeting with the new york firefighters’ fund, who used to invest only with axe but are looking elsewhere, and taylor gains their support.
4x06: taylor is working with douglas and a couple other companies on getting his lattice fin project off the ground, while trying to avoid axe cap’s spying (not that successfully), and douglas is mad that he isn’t being treated like the smartest person in the room. taylor and wendy also meet up repeatedly, in a seemingly friendly way, but wendy mines their conversations and her patient files on taylor to figure out how to force taylor to destroy douglas’s project. 
4x07: rebecca, axe’s girlfriend (though tmc doesn’t know that) and a business mogul herself, offers to buy douglas’s project (as a way for axe to access and destroy it), which taylor turns down. taylor has also enlisted wendy’s help to furnish a new apartment for their parents. then taylor gets the news that douglas’s project has been found to be a threat to national security (thanks to axe) - and though they initially choose to hold onto his project despite the ensuing loss of funds, wendy comes over to commiserate and inadvertently gives away that she’s been playing taylor this whole time. taylor sells the project to the government to save tmc, at the cost of their relationship with douglas.
4x08: taylor wants financial revenge for being manipulated, and first taunts, then argues with axe on live television. at mafee and dollar bill’s charity boxing match, taylor first is confronted by wendy about reporting her for malpractice (which sara did without taylor’s knowledge), then reveals that they tricked axe into getting fracking legalized so they could profit from buying water rights where fracking happens.
4x09: taylor is going to great lengths to destroy rebecca’s new position as ceo of a department store (saler’s), including buying out three of the largest shareholders and planning to meet up with a fourth who already hates axe. the plan doesn’t work in the end, but taylor finds out that axe will make huge sacrifices for rebecca - and starts a relationship with lauren, who helped them get a meeting with the fourth shareholder’s son.
4x10: taylor is preparing for wendy’s malpractice hearing, buying an appliance manufacturer closely tied to saler’s in order to have power over rebecca, and doing a terrible job of hiding their relationship with lauren. wendy comes to see them at tmc, and taylor claims they won’t go to the hearing, for wendy’s benefit.
4x11: taylor indeed doesn’t go to the hearing, and wendy fesses up to her wrongdoing. it’s comp time at tmc (winston’s most recent appearance! we’ve only just recently stopped shouting about it!), and everyone defers their bonus except lauren, who says she’d be too heartbroken to stick around if she and taylor broke up. rebecca, who’s tired of taylor making her life difficult, offers taylor a business deal related to saler’s, and taylor, who’s tired of being at war, accepts.
4x12: here is imdb’s summary of this episode: “Axe makes a big decision. Connerty gets closer to the truth. Tensions rise, and dynamics shift.” real specific. [UPDATE: taylor apologizes to their employees and promises to focus on running tmc The Right Way. and then axe sinks tmc by effectively killing saler’s, and sends a former axe cap employee who tried to get a job at tmc to try and bait taylor into engaging in insider trading; he hopes that chuck will then arrest them and blackmail them to work for axe again. taylor doesn’t take the bait, but chuck arrests them anyway, and makes a deal with them to work together to take axe down. secretly taylor plans to set up chuck and axe to destroy each other, and then get out of the way. the episode ends with taylor and their tmc team walking into axe cap and being “welcomed home.”]
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rosettared · 5 years
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Surprise, @sariahsue​! I’m your Secret Santa this year! Thank you, @mlsecretsanta​ for organizing this event, it’s great to be a part of something like this uwu I hope you enjoy the first half of your two-parter present!
She’s a Gift - One
Summary: Adrien’s birthday is around the corner, but he isn’t exactly excited about it. He’s been hoping that this could finally be the year his father would dedicate the entire day just for him – so when he’s told that Gabriel will be away on the week of his birthday, Adrien’s lost all joy for the big day. Marinette is determined to help him find it again – saving the day is her forte, after all.
Pairings: Ladybug/Chat Noir, Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Nino Lahiffe/Alya Cesaire, Tom Dupain/Sabine Cheng
Tags: Pre-Relationship, Post-Reveal (the main 4 all know their identities)
Word Count: 4651
One | Two
Things were far too calm for Adrien’s liking.
The superhero was perched atop the towers of the Notre Dame, dangling his legs from the top of the cathedral, his heartbeat finally steadying and his panting ceasing from all the running he had done on his way here. He wasn’t even supposed to be out, but he had hoped that a quick late-night patrol of his own would do him some good– for the city lights and the busy bustling to send buzzes to his brain, for the noises to fill his head with other thoughts.
Instead, it was quiet. The night air crisp and still, Parisians peaceful and safe in their homes, the Seine showing no signs of rippling. Not much was happening tonight, and Adrien hated it.
If he had wanted a silent night, he would have stayed home.
His ears perked at the sound of feet landing from behind him on the platform. He could only guess who would have found him on her turn for night patrol. “I didn’t think I’d see you here, Chat Noir,” Ladybug announced her arrival.  
He turned to face her, only offering her a half-smile and a two-fingered salute, then watched as she made her way over to him and took a seat beside him. He tried for a nonchalant demeanour and pretended not to notice how her eyebrows crinkled and her lips straightened in worry – but this was Ladybug. There was no fooling her, and there was nothing about him that he could possibly hide that she wouldn’t figure out.
And now that the wall of secret identities was knocked down, that couldn’t have been truer.
“What brings you here, My Lady?” Adrien prompted, breaking the eye contact to look over the river, unchanged from its stillness. Though he wished more was going on, Ladybug’s presence could just help distract him.
“Funny, I could ask you the same question,” she replied, following suit and staring down at the view before them. “I patrol Wednesday nights solo, remember? I didn’t think I’d have company.”
“Yeah?”
“I thought you’d be sitting around in front of your three desktops, studying for next week’s math test.”
“Ah, lest I evoke the wrath of the vengeful Mme. Mendeleiev for ‘distasteful derivatives?’”
“I can see it now: akuma wreaks havoc on the city of Paris, leaving burning marks of mathematical equations on the path she treads, targeting her one best student for failing the most important test of the semester!” Ladybug spoke, her tone firm and monotonous, not falling short of sounding like a reporter. “She will not stop until she has local buffoon Adrien Agreste in her clutches!”
“Hey!” he protested, lightly punching her arm.
“One can never be too careful with that woman,” she shrugged, and Adrien looked back at her to see her smile from their banter, only for it to quickly disappear. Now that she had his attention, she scooted closer to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, not once looking away. “Something’s bothering you, Adrien. Do you want to talk about it?”
Adrien.
It had been three months since the two had revealed their true identities, but hearing Ladybug, Marinette, say his real name never failed to give him butterflies every time. Though things were pretty awkward in the first week and they got a little distant, they found a way to reconcile, and after that their relationship had been stronger than ever.
It was funny, really – a year ago, they had just been good friends who shared the same classes, unaware that they had also spent every day protecting Paris from danger together, even crossing paths to rescue the other untransformed. They had even shared their troubles with each other without even realising it. They had been so close, yet so far.
Now it was like she was a different person, yet the same. The reveal had changed everything, and no longer could he see her the way he had before. He knew Marinette was Ladybug, and Ladybug was Marinette, but his brain couldn’t really process that. It felt too good to be true, as if he were in a beautiful dream and he was about to wake up at any moment. With his dumb luck, he couldn’t believe that the two most incredible women in his life were the same person.
Yet, here she was – right there by his side, silently watching, waiting for him to speak.
Adrien let out a resigned sigh, bringing his own clawed hand to hers, and gave a small smile. He supposed it was time to share, and he couldn’t possibly imagine sharing his thoughts with anyone else. “Well, I’m not sure if you know this, but… well, my birthday’s coming up on Friday and-”
“A-pshh, a-pfft, your what?” Ladybug jumped. “Oh it’s your birthday this Friday I had no idea I had absolutelyno idea look at me I’m totally someone who did not know your birthday was so soon and did not have something planned for you no sirree!” Adrien couldn’t catch a single word from how fast she spoke, but maybe he wasn’t meant to. “I’m sorry, you were saying?”
“Anyway,” he proceeded. “Well, I’ve been thinking about my father. All year I’ve been hoping for some father-son quality time on my birthday. I thought maybe he’d suggest a change of pace from the three lame pens he used to get my every year. Although, he did surprise me with that blue scarf last year.”
“Right, I remember,” she said. “Yes, the scarf. The blue one. From your father.”
Ladybug was acting a little odd, but perhaps he shouldn’t think anything of it.
“So, I come home from basketball training today, and then I see in the foyer my father at the top of the staircase with a couple luggage bags next to him. He tells me that he’ll be away for a couple weeks on some business trip to London, and that I am ‘expected’ to follow my schedule by the minute, as usual. He doesn’t even address that he’ll be missing my birthday, and now he’s gone, and…” Adrien didn’t realise how much tension he had on his shoulders until he felt Ladybug rub them away. She waited until he was more relaxed to retreat her hands to her lap.
“And now things just… suck,” he continued, shoulders slumped. “Shouldn’t have been so surprised, right? I mean, I’m no stranger to my father letting me down over and overagain, but… never mind. It was stupid for me to hope. I didn’t want to deal with it, so I… I left my room and ran on the rooftops and ended up here. I was hoping for a bigger distraction, but things are too quiet here. Kinda makes me wish for an akuma to beat up right now.”
Ladybug chuckled. “Well, we’ve got school tomorrow, so maybe that’s not the best,” she joked.
“Kinda on me for daring to dream.” Adrien felt defeated. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave the house, after all. Hearing himself actually voice out his thoughts made him realise that he was just running away from his problems again. He took one last look at his polka-dotted partner before standing up and extending his trusty baton. “I’m sorry, I… I should go. I’ll leave you to your patrol. Goodnight, Lady-”
“Wait!” Ladybug was up on her feet and grabbed his hand, jerking him towards her and stopping him from finishing his goodbye. The force of her pull was enough to make him topple a little, but she was there to stop him from falling, getting a hold on his arms for support.
“Please don’t go,” she looked up at him, pleading. “You don’t have to. Being on patrol by myself gets pretty boring. And besides, things are too quiet, right? I’d really appreciate having you around.”
It was then that he noticed how close she was to him, chest-to-chest and their arms snaked together, and at that very second, he couldn’t breathe. Once she realised the same, she took quite a step back from him, a dark red blooming on her cheeks and her hands kept to herself.
She brought a fist to her mouth and cleared her throat. “Adrien, stay. Please?” she asked once more, capturing him wholly in her bright blue eyes.
Who could say no to that?
“Okay,” he muttered, and he let her pull him back down to sit next to her again. He had his eyes on her hands, the ones he so desperately wanted to take in his own and rub his thumbs on the back of her palms, but he was hesitant. If there was some indication that she was too, he couldn’t see it. Knowing if she was as confused as he was would bring him ease but frustrate him at the same time.
Where did they stand?
“So…” she began, sounding unsure of what to say. “what are you gonna do now? For your birthday, I mean, not right now kinda now, like, you’re just sitting here keeping me company because I asked you to, so obviously I know what you’re doing now-now and-”
“Marinette,” Adrien stopped her. As weird as it was to hear his own name from her, it was just as weird to say hers. It definitely could use some getting used to. “You’re rambling again.”
She jerked her head towards him, and her eyes went wide. “Right! That’s right, I’m… I’m sorry.”
He said nothing as he observed her slowly breathe in, breathe out, and repeat for a while, watching as she regained her composure and allowed him room to speak. For the first time tonight, his lips turned up to a real smile – small, but genuine. She was so adorable, it drove him crazy. How did he not see who she really was?
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’ll think of something. I’ve got Plagg, so I won’t completely be by myself. Nathalie and the Gorilla will still be around, so I can’t really plan anything big that won’t get past them. There hasn’t been a birthday bad enough that I couldn’t handle.”
Then he looked up at her again, her blue eyes big and full of emotion. If he was really honest, he wanted to spend the day with her – he imagined them in her room, under the covers, watching Netflix, just spending quality time together like that. Maybe his birthday could be when he finally told her how he really felt.
Maybe he didn’t have to worry anymore.
But maybe it would be better if he actually asked her.
What if I spent my birthday with you? Just the two of us, he wanted to say.
“Unless you’ve got something in mind for me?” was what he came out of his mouth instead. Ladybug was renowned for always having a plan, that was what made her such a great leader, so he supposed he could toy with the idea that she had one for him. He was intrigued with what she might have in store for him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she denied, lightly bumping his shoulder with her own, a playful smile clear as the light in her eyes. “All I know is that you are not spending your birthday alone. The fact that you’ve had bad birthdays at all is completely unacceptable! I won’t let that happen to anyone, especially my best friend.”
“I’m your best friend, huh?”
“Don’t tell Alya that.”
“So, you’re saying that fox got nothing on-”
“Ah-ah-ah! One more word and I’m telling Nino I took his place!”
Adrien squinted his eyes at her, eyebrows crossed. “How are you so sure?”
“Are you telling me that I’m not your best friend?” she smirked. She was right, and she knew she was right, so it was pointless to come up with anything to deny that.
When she took his silence as acceptance (and defeat), she let the smirk fade and replaced it with another grin. “Just know that this will be the best birthday you’ve ever had.”
Adrien returned her smile. “I don’t know, last year’s akuma battle is gonna be pretty hard to beat.”
Ladybug rolled her eyes. “You mean when Nino forced everyone to party?”
“Hey, it got us trapped in that bubble,” he shrugged. “That was pretty good to me.”
“That was the one? How dare my memory fail me!” she cried, exaggerating her tone and throwing an arm over her forehead, then she quickly recovered with a wink. “Don’t you worry, Chaton – if I had to, I’d akumatise the entire school if that’ll top your last birthday!”
“Oh, dear Lord, please don’t.”
He wasn’t sure if it was what he said, or if it was that he sounded a little horrified, because she threw her head back and absolutely roared in laughter – loud and unrestricted, a hand to her stomach – and Adrien had never found her more captivating. “Whatever it is, I’ve got it under control.”
“I know. There’s nothing Super Marinette can’t do.”
“And don’t you forget it!” Ladybug swiped a finger quickly down his nose. “Just trust me, it’s gonna be great.”
“Alya, this is a disaster!”
Marinette paced back and forth in her living room, her hands at her pigtails, while she vented her frustrations out on the poor journalist. Alya could only sit on the white couch and wait as she walked around the coffee table and voiced her thoughts out loud. She should have expected this when Marinette invited her over to the bakery the day before Adrien’s birthday.
“I thought I had it all planned out, but now I know I don’t!” Marinette erupted. Alya had grown familiar to her freak-outs, and it was rare when they weren’t revolved around Adrien. “He wanted a day with his dad and now his dad isn’t around and he’s super bummed about it! I think I cheered him up last night during my patrol when I found him on the Notre Dame, but I don’t know if I can be so sure! So I promised him the best birthday he’s ever had, but what could possibly be better than spending time with your dad? Adrien loves his dad and would do anything to be closer to him, and that’s what he wanted for his birthday! And I know he said he’ll like whatever I’ll plan, and I trust that he wouldn’t lie to me, but what if he’s just saying it to be polite? What if he knows it’s gonna be bad, and he’s just trying to spare my feelings? Oh, God, I’m spiralling! What am I gonna do?”
She was hyperventilating, her breaths in step with her rapid heartbeat, and all rational thought were pushed to the back of her mind. It frustrated her even more when Alya didn’t say anything, but she took one look into her piercing gaze and tried to gain control. Alya pulled her down to the couch and led her to calm down, both her hands on hers. Marinette followed her – breathe in, hold, breathe out, repeat – for a few times until Alya decided she was relaxed. “You done spiralling?” Alya asked, her tone even and calm.
“Spiralling over,” Marinette reported.
This had become a standard Marinette-panic recovery procedure.
“That’s great!” a new voice chimed in. It was Tikki’s, who along with Trixx had been sitting on top of the TV watching everything unfold. The kwami had gotten much closer as they got more involved with both Alya’s and Marinette’s personal lives, offering whatever advice (questionable or not) they could offer. “That was a lot quicker than all your previous panic sessions! You’re really improving, Marinette!”
“Whoa, really?” Trixx asked. Trixx, too, had learned to be familiar with Marinette’s behaviour in times of anxiety, but had also become rather amused to watch it. “How long do these last?”
“Good few hours, at most, but let’s focus on Marinette, hmm?" Alya told her kwami.
The kwami of illusion crossed their arms and rolled their eyes. “Fine,” they said. “Just here to watch the show, so pretend we’re not even here!”
“Done,” Alya agreed, voice flat, then shifted to collectedness as she redirected her attention to her friend. “So, Marinette, what you’re saying is that Adrien told you his dad will be out of town tomorrow?”
“Yes,” Marinette nodded.
“And you promised Adrien you’d give him the best birthday ever?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re scared he’ll hate whatever you’ll plan because his dad won’t be there?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” Alya repositioned herself, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her laced fingers. “Now, according to Nino, what are you that Gabriel Agreste is not?”
Her response was reflexive from listening to Nino constantly tell her so. “Fun.”
“Exactly. You have nothing to worry about,” Alya replied, leaning back in her seat. Marinette wasn’t quite sure where this conversation was heading. “Marinette, this is great! This means Monsieur Control Freak won’t be around telling Adrien what to do! You can plan whatever you want with no restrictions! The possibilities are endless!”
“Not quite,” Marinette pointed out. “His dad may be gone, but Nathalie and his bodyguard will still be around. And Adrien told me he specifically told him to follow his schedule by the minute.”
“Girl, those are nothing but strings we can pull,” Alya reassured. “Besides, I’m sure he’ll love whatever you planned. He trusts you, right? I can’t think of a single thing you could possibly do that he won’t like. You guys are best friends.”
Before Marinette could challenge that, Alya held a finger up. “Oh, don’t even try. It was only a matter of time before that fancy feline took my place. But for what it’s worth, there’s really no one else – besides myself, of course – more qualified for the position. You two have been through so much together, sharing each other’s lives without even knowing it. And now that you guys know who you are, things should be easier for you. You have no more secrets, and your faith in each other is beyond admirable. I’m telling you, Marinette, you have nothing to worry about.”
Marinette supposed this was the time to tell her what she was really worried about. “Actually, there is… one more thing,” she added. It was now or never, and Alya was the only person who could help her with what she was about to say. “I… I-I was thinking of telling Adrien the truth.”
Alya knitted her eyebrows in confusion. What could she possibly tell him that they didn’t already know? “… about?”
“… about my feelings for him.”
“What?!” Alya boomed, quickly jumping to her feet and staring Marinette down. “You haven’t told him?!”
“It’s not that easy, Alya!” she countered. “Now that we know that he’s Chat Noir and I’m Ladybug, things have been so hard for me! I mean, the reveal’s made us better friends, but we’ve never even talked about our feelings! I’ve rejected Chat Noir twice, and I don’t think he handled it as well as we both thought, you know? What if he thinks I only like him because he’s Adrien? How do you think he’ll react then? He’ll hate me for the rest of his life!”
“Girl, are you even hearing yourself? Adrien would never hate you in a million years! That’s crazy!” Alya cried at the top of her lungs.
Then the front door swung open, revealing Tom and Sabine wearing worried expressions, and the two kwami quickly went into hiding. “We heard you girls fighting up here, it’s everything okay?” Tom asked the girls, he and his wife hesitantly standing by the door. “Don’t worry, we didn’t hear everything, just the last part.”
“Marinette hasn’t told Adrien she likes him!”
Her parents hesitated, momentarily confounded, and Marinette could feel their mood lift slightly. “Really?” Tom asked. “You haven’t?”
“Not sure if I can say I’m surprised,” Sabine continued. “You’ve always been an overthinker, Marinette.”
“Quite an understatement there, Mme. Cheng,” Alya noted, earning one painful nudge in the side.
Her parents walked through the threshold and approached the couch to sit next to her. The looks on their faces were no longer puzzled and stunned, but warm and encouraging, judging by the crinkle of their eyes and the upwards curves of their mouths. “You haven’t told him how you feel?” Her father wrapped an arm around her, and she shook her head. “Why is that, sweetie?”
Marinette breathed out a sigh, exasperated that her parents were now involved. “I don’t know, Papa,” she started. “We are good friends, and we’ve gotten really close but… things have just been…” She paused, searching her mental lexicon for the best word that could possibly describe her relationship with the cat. “…complicated.”  
“Oh, honey,” her mother placed a hand over her heart. “It’s just that you’ve liked him so much for so long, I can’t imagine how things are for you now.”
Marinette first took a look at Alya, waiting for her to add her own comments, but it seemed like she wasn’t going to interfere for now, so maybe it was wise to talk to them. There was so much she wished she could tell them, because she was raised to share everything with them, but she held her tongue. Ladybug was a part of her life her parents could never know about.
“Well, let’s just say that we haven’t exactly had the most ideal situations,” were the words she settled for. Not lying, and not disclosing too much information. Having a double-life made her a master at half-truths.
Tom and Sabine looked at each other for a moment, chuckling to themselves as if they were sharing the same thoughts, then they looked back at her and smiled, their fingers now intertwined. “Marinette, have we told you how we got together?” Tom asked.
“Yeah, didn’t you hide the ring in André’s ice cream?”
“No, no, that was how we got engaged,” he corrected. “I meant the very first time I asked your mother out on a date.”
Oh.
This was a story she had not heard before, so Marinette shook her head to accept their offer of sharing it.
“It was five years before I proposed,” Tom began. “Your mother and I had gone to high school together, much like you and Adrien. We didn’t have many mutual friends, and we mostly ran in different circles.”
“Your father was the very popular school athlete, while I was the lowly Asian immigrant new kid,” Sabine further stated. “Many students didn’t really like me. You can imagine how things were back then, hmm?”
She definitely could. Her mother may not have frowned as she said those horrible words, but the idea that she wasn’t accepted by other people just for being Asian was heart-wrenching – like a wooden dagger pierced at her chest and twisted slowly and painfully. She couldn’t be more grateful that things were much different now.
“Anyway, so it was our last year of high school. At this point, I had a really big crush on your mother. I wanted to ask her out before we graduated, so I spent the whole year trying to get the courage to do that, but I could never find time alone with her. I couldn’t even ask anyone for help, because I kept my feelings for her a secret. No one, not even my best friend, knew about it because I was worried that they might give her even more trouble. I couldn’t do that to her.
“Then one fateful day, we went on a field trip to Tour Montparnasse. We were about to leave for lunch, but your mother and I were the last two kids in the group, way behind everyone else. Everyone had already gone down, but they had to wait for us. We waited for the lift, and we got inside, and the whole time I was just prepping myself to do it, to ask her on a date. We were only a few floors down when suddenly, boom! The power went out, and the lift stopped. We tried calling for help, but until they came, we were all alone. I was freaking out.”
Well, that explained where she inherited it all from.
“But then I stopped and started to think. It was just me and your mother in that lift. Nobody else was there to disapprove of my feelings for her – and even if they were, I stopped worrying about what other people thought. It wasn’t the most ideal situation, but I made the most of it. So, I finally got the guts to ask her out. But when she didn’t say anything at first, my brain went to panic-mode. I started thinking of all the possible things she could say to turn me down.”
“Then I said yes,” Sabine continued. “And even though there was no power, your father’s smile was the brightest thing I’d ever seen that day. When we walked out of that lift, all the other students stared at us like we were crazy, and later they’d tell us that we would never work, but we didn’t care. We’ve been together ever since.”
“Marinette,” Tom hugged her closer to his side. “If you keep waiting for the perfect moment, you might just miss your chance. There’s no such thing as a perfect moment, but even the least ideal situations can give you great opportunities. You gotta hold it by the reins and take control of the situation, no matter how difficult things are.”
Then both of them stood up, and Marinette only watched as her mother planted a kiss on the top of her head. She was incredibly moved by their story, but she was paralysed in her seat. She was rendered speechless. “I know you and Adrien will work things out together. Good luck, honey,” Sabine wished her in farewell, then she and Tom walked out of the room and shut the door behind them.
Now it was just her, Alya, and the two kwami who reappeared on the coffee table. Nothing was spoken between the four for a few long moments, until Alya decided to break the pregnant silence. “You know, I have a great less-than-ideal situation myself.”
Oh, boy. She knew exactly what Alya was talking about.
“I had always seen Nino as a brother,” Alya said, obviously poking fun at her. “But then one day at the zoo, there was an akuma attack! The two of us were running for our lives, but then somebody grabbed us both and locked us up in a cage!”
“Heheh, whoops…” Marinette chuckled nervously.
Alya then gave her a friendly punch on the arm. “Bygones, huh? If you had never done that, then Nino and I wouldn’t have found each other like we did. It was… a pretty weird situation to be in, being trapped in an empty gorilla habitat until the fight was over, but I’m glad it happened. Thanks, LB.”
Marinette’s smile went wide, appreciative and grateful. “Well, I’m glad I could help.”
“And I’m glad that I can help you. Other than because I’m the greatest friend ever,” Marinette rolled her eyes and Alya grinned from cheek to cheek. “I am going to pay you back for what you did for me and Nino. I’m gonna help you plan Adrien’s birthday party and help you confess to him.”
“Really? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much, Alya!” Marinette pulled her into a tight hug, which she gladly returned with a couple pats on the back. When she pulled away from the embrace, Marinette grew more excited to share with her. “Come on! I’ll tell you what I’ve got planned!”
“Oh, not yet,” Alya stopped her. “First, you’ve got to tell me absolutely everything that’s happened between you and Adrien. Every single detail.”
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elcorhamletlive · 6 years
Link
fandom: MCU (Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron) (Post-Captain America: Civil War) ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark tags: Fluff and Angst/Angst with a Happy Ending/Character Study/Pining summary: The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldn’t be easy - but it really, really is.
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War Has the Worst Timing...
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“Rae, seriously? I’m literally testing blood samples.”
Okay, so maybe my timing was a little off as I sneak up behind the Confessor and slide my hands under her robes, but damned if she doesn’t tip her head back and purr into my ear as it happens. I know Brilaria appreciates the three days worth of scruff on my face that she’s currently nuzzling into, regardless if she’s up to her elbows in blood. I know because that fine ass of hers is pressed right against my cock and the hellcat is wiggling like its her fucking job.
“You’ll never guess what I found down the hall...” I whisper against her ear, nudging a strand of her dark brown hair out of the way so I can nibble up the length of one long ear.
“Another nurse you want me to check out?” Damn, she knows me too well... but for once, she’s wrong.
“A telesurgery station with robotic augmentation.” I can feel the shiver run down her back as I tell her about the latest Titan discovery in her ear. The moan she lets slip out is one I know well, but damned if it doesn’t make me want her all the more.
“Gods, I love when you talk medical marvels to me...” Only Bri would be ready to ride my cock into next week over the prospect of laser surgery, and gods do I love her for it.
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Brilaria Suncrest and I go back even before I lost my Rose. In fact, the Praetoriums Confessor was our favorite castmate when it came to the bedroom, as Vinnie and I were never ones for anything vanilla. It’s an arrangement that carried over even after Vinnie’s mortal form burned on the pyre and she took her rightful place as one of Eonar’s Chosen. Granted, took me about a year to want to get my dick wet after I lost her, but sure enough, when I was ready, Bri was right there.
See, she’s lost two husbands to the bullshit wars this world has conjured up, and has quite made up her mind to have nothing but casual sex for the rest of her days. Which, works well for me given my heart is waiting for me on a battlefield in Icecrown.
Bri knows that, but it’s never given her a moments pause when it came to crawling across my lap and fucking me until I can’t even remember my name. Ya gotta love a woman who knows what she wants and doesn’t demand feelings attached to mind blowing sex. Bri’s a fucking gift from the Light, sent to keep my insatiable ass from chipping away at a hundred bed posts over my lifetime. And, if I do say so myself, the girl never leaves walking straight, or without a shit eating grin... so I must be doing something right.
“You have the little girl from last week coming in for her cast in about twenty. Should be the last one of the day....” she says as I let her get back to the samples, knowing damned good and well she’ll be naked in my bed before the night’s out.
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“Alda! Yeah, I promised her we’d go check out one of the scooters I found in the supply room. That shit’s genius for kids! Took a trip to Stormwind to get her a shiny horn for it and everything. Should come down and see it...found little pink and green stars to put on it... well Neris put them on, but its still pretty great!” I can see her rolling her eyes at my excitement over this particular topic, but we’ve both been giddy since Mal brought us here.
It’s not just the city itself or what it stands for, though that is bloody fucking brilliant. No, this place has potential that comes from far more than its neutral idea of thinking, and more in the genius that exists in every corner. Sanctuary City has the potential to save thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of lives... and Bri and I both know it. We’ve dedicated our whole lives to healing people, as that’s what the Light calls us to do, but even we have our limits when it comes to what our magic can do. This place...seems to get rid of those limitations with every new piece of technology we come across. Shit, half of it I don’t even know what it does...but I’ve made it my mission to find out. We both have.
Neither of us hesitated to lend a hand when Mal said this place was in need of healers, but we totally didn’t expect this crazy ass city full of shit we can’t even pronounce, let alone use. I mean, Bri and I are both capable in most areas of healing and medical knowledge, but here? Shit... we’re in over our heads in the best fucking way imaginable.
“Still thinking about focusing on the kids here? Might help organize things a bit better...” She’s not wrong, and I can totally admit that working with kids is way better than listening to adults bitch and complain. Kids appreciate my dumb magic tricks and I gotta admit there’s nothing better than watching a little patient skip out of my company knowing they are back to full health. What can I say? I’m a sucker for make-believe and giggles that come from finding just the right spot to tickle to make them smile.
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“Figuring so. Doesn’t mean I won’t see anyone who needs it... but might give any of their parents a bit of calm knowing they talk to the same healer every time, instead of bopping around and all of us scrambling to learn charts. Ya know, especially with chronic conditions...” I’ve dealt with more than a few cases of that kind of shit over the years, hell.... unexplained illness was the reason I learned to heal as my youngest sister (Light rest her soul) spent her life struggling with it.
“Going to have to control that tongue of yours if you except to not offend half this city with your sailors mouth...” Oh, I’m going to control it all right... right between those thighs of hers later. Damned if that thought doesn’t bring a shit eating grin that splits my face wide. She knows exactly what she said... and exactly the kinda thoughts that commentary brings.
“Guess I’ll just have to wear it out so as to not slip up and yell ‘fuck’ hunh?” I really can’t help the fact that my hands wander to her ass, I mean... it’s there... and Light have mercy, makes a man just want to build an altar to it and praise it’s creation. 
I’m halfway to my knees and that very devotion when Tanner comes skidding to halt outside the room we’re in, yelping in surprise as he spins his back to us. I can see the kids ears turning as red as my hair, and all I can do is fucking laugh my ass off and let go of Bri’s hips that were all too willing to part in some hideaway closet for an afternoon delight.
“Fucking hell, Tanner... you got the shit worst timing of any person I’ve ever-” I’m ready to send his ass back to the Commander for interrupting my pursuit of Brilaria, but then he starts talking and makes my blood boil.
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“Pixie called in a 1078 for Darkshore. Horde’s launched an attack on Ashenvale, Captain. Addie’s in Darkshore with them breathing down her neck!” He’s still got his back turned, but Bri and I have lost all heat between us as we both make a grab for our medkits stacked in the corner. Fuck!
“What do you mean Horde attacked Ashenvale?” Bri asks as she trades her doctors coat for the battle robes of blue and silver she favors.  We’re already halfway out of the clinic when Tanner starts relaying the information he has. It’s not much, but it’s enough for both of us to exchange glances knowing the shit was about to hit the fan.
“Commander wants you both at the airstrip. The Baron’s already got backup on his way to Pixie, including the Runesinger....” I might dislike the Baron as a person, but that fucker doesn’t mess around when it comes to keeping our people safe. He sent our portal master after the Pixie knowing she’d need an escape route, and there’s none better. Seen that fucker rip open space right in the middle of Ulduar, so I know she’s in good hands. “Astranaar has already fallen, according to the Baron...and their destroying everything in their path on the way to Lor’Danil.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is not good at all. “Mal’s going after the civilians.” Bri and I both realize this as the same time, as the Commander wouldn’t just sit idly by and let innocent lives fall under the weight of faction wars and banners. Tanner confirms this as we’re jogging through the city on a direct path for the airstrip, but I know this plan isn’t going to save them all. Fucking hell, there are times I really hate the fucking Horde...though a few weeks ago I was ready to make myself a nice fur rug outta Greymanes ass, so....both sides suck.
“Commander’s got the troops rallying at Light’s Hope, waiting his orders.... or whatever the  fuc-...” Tanner knows better than to adopt my language, but I can’t fault him for it right now, this whole situation is a shit storm, and I know the kids scared. “Commander has a plan that involves an airship.”
I swear to the fucking Light I can hear Bri’s mental gears turning as she starts plotting and planning the rescue effort from the healing side of things. She’ll have tents and tags ready to deploy at a moment’s notice; this isn’t either of our first rescue missions, and judging by the sound of things.. it’s not going to be our last.
“Well then, let’s go save the fucking world one more gods damned time...” I’m getting really tired of this shit. Thought I’d be done getting involved in world ending problems after the debacle in Ulduar with the Observer. You’d think after nearly being reoriginated the assholes in this world would have sat the fuck down and chilled the fuck out... but no. Here I go again, cleaning up their fucking mess.
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((
@khan-of-the-ruruan
@kelladen
@aresh-isdiearore
@sanctuary-city-wra
@adilynia
@teren-k
@kelly-hartford
@silverfall-patriarch
@ly-canthos
@lochlyn-kiden
for mentions and all that ))
THE PIXIE’S VIEW
THE COMMANDER’ VIEW
THE PRIESTS VIEW
THE GUARDIANS VIEW
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getsterekt · 6 years
Text
STEREK FIC REC POST
 500 twitter followers on my @getsterekt twitter account! thanks so much guys. here is another fic rec post in honor of u guys.
(fics marked with * are personal faves)
!!!!Before reading any fics PLEASE make sure you take note of the warnings and tags! as some of these fics may include triggering content to certain readers!!!!
—————————-
i will not give you up this time by stxrxk
  Derek Hale was hard lines and rough skin.
WORDS: 304
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: General
WARNINGS: none
to fall in deep by decideophobia
  “the guy i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said “oh, you’re hot.” and went back to sleep.”
WORDS: 618
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Gen
WARNINGS: none
They would have loved you by Bellakitse
Stiles finds an old camera in the Hale house, he decides he’s going to find a way to give a little bit of Derek’s family back to him.
…..
“He has nothing left from his family, Peter doesn’t count. No pictures, everything that belonged to them burned, I-I wouldn’t know how to deal if I could never see mom’s face again, we have pictures and family videos and he just doesn’t, I want to try to give something back to him,” Stiles looks up at his dad, embarrassed by his confession.
WORDS: 1282
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: General
WARNINGS: none
TLC by  KARIN848
Alternate title: Derek Hale Deserves to Be Loved. Almost 1500 words of self indulgent Derek being cared for by Stiles after fight. Derek Hale deserves to be told that he is loved and he deserves good things. Stiles endeavors to prove that Derek is worthy of his pack and worthy of love.
WORDS: 1396
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
Brad The Douchebag Ex by LadyDrace 
Stiles and Derek bump into Stiles’ shitty ex while Christmas shopping. Derek isn’t entirely sure what’s going on, but when Stiles grabs his hand, he just kinda rolls with it.
WORDS: 1436
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: douchebag ex
**Hey, Babe. by Areiton
It doesn’t happen every time they’re out. But it happens. Enough that he stops thinking it’s strange.
WORDS: 1571
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: not rated
WARNINGS: none
here, in the light of day by yodasyoyo
“Go to sleep Stiles,” he mumbles.
Sleep.
Sleep?
They are naked, like, completely naked. As in Stiles’ naked dick is now pressed right up against Derek’s naked thigh. Sleep? Stiles may be exhausted and hungover, but sleep is impossible.
WORDS: 1997
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
The Well Deserved Day of Derek Hale by mackietommo
Derek doesn’t remember the last time he got a good day.
WORDS: 2066
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: General
WARNINGS: none
Ephemeral by thegirlgrey
Stiles has a weird reaction to his anesthesia. He wakes up with temporary amnesia. The resulting video gets 1 million hits on YouTube in 6 hours. (Beyoncé can suck it.)
WORDS: 2182
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
Money Honey by paintedrecs
Derek’s a moderately well off businessman who has a soft heart, a rapidly emptying wallet, and a serious problem with dogs, panhandlers, and life in general.
Until Stiles comes along.
WORDS: 2845
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
Five Times Derek and Stiles Wanted the Same Book (And One Time There Were Two Copies) by mikkimouse
“Hey!” Stiles yanked the book back, but the other guy had a firm grip on it. “What are you–”
He trailed off when he set eyes on the leather-clad god with a glare that could strip paint off a car who also had hold of the book.
Stiles gulped, but he didn’t let go. “Hey, dude, I had it first.”
Those powerful black eyebrows bent down further. “Like hell you did.”
WORDS: 2896
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
I’m so in love with you. by beautyinstarlight
When Stiles first says I love you to Derek, it’s a completely ordinary day in their new lives. They aren’t even dating…
Or: The story of when Stiles and Derek both said I love you and beyond.
WORDS: 3510
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: General
WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Homing Mechanisms by SmallBirds
Magnetoreception: The sense which allows an organism to detect a magnetic field to perceive direction, altitude or location. How birds find their way home.
Stiles returns to Beacon Hills after four years at Stanford, only to find out that Derek has moved back into town. He brings him a housewarming gift. Derek makes food. Things escalate from there.
WORDS: 3741
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: none
Operation Rescue Sourwolf by HelloWhyTheFuckAmIHere
Derek Hale will not be accused of another crime he didn’t commit. Not on Stiles’ watch.
(What really happened when Stiles used his position as FBI Intern to save Derek’s life.)
WORDS: 4221
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: violence
When Your Teachers Have No Chill by giantteenwolforgy
Derek’s not his boyfriend, but sometimes it feels like he should be.
WORDS: 4314
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: none
How to Pretend You’re Not a Virgin and Other Sordid Tales by KuriKuri
Stiles likes the anonymity, the security his pseudonym provides. Likes that there are entire forums dedicated to speculating about his identity: his gender, his sexuality, his age.
Of course, there’s one thing they all seem to agree on: he’s some sort of sex god.
Which is really, really awkward, because he’s a twenty-three year old virgin.
(Or: in which Stiles is a bestselling erotica novelist and Lydia makes him attend a convention to promote his upcoming book.)
WORDS: 5347
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
Notches in Your Spine by whiskey_in_tea
Stiles is the one who finds them in the first place, Derek’s college applications.
(this fic is restricted so you will need an ao3 account to be able to read it)
WORDS: 8741
CHAPTERS: 3/3
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: none
The Truth Is by BulletBlaze
  “Well, you should get going then-” “You could come around some time-” A pause. “Wait, what?” A blush bloomed across Derek’s cheeks, barely visible over the top of his beard. He shrugged again. “If you wanted to. You could stop by while I’m fixing it up. Help me with some things. If you wanted to.” “You already said that,” Stiles, the idiot, mumbled in disbelief. Derek’s blush grew a shade darker.
WORDS: 8851
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: sheriff has a heart attack
put ‘em together and what have you got? by yodasyoyo
“Oh, bibbidi bobbidi fuck you.”
Unsurprisingly, Stiles’ fairy godmother is a menace.
WORDS: 11,162
CHAPTERS: 2/2
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
Keeping Tabs by Cousin Shelley (CousinShelley)
After Erica’s death at the hands of the alphas, Stiles wants to be there for Derek, but Derek just wants to be alone. In the process of waiting him out, Stiles comes up with a plan to stay a step ahead of the alpha pack, and ends up spending lots of quality time with Cora and Peter.
WORDS: 12,896
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
trusting wolves by ourdreamsunfold
In the midst of a werewolf war against the alphas, the Sheriff learns that in a pack, loyalty is earned. And his son works hard enough to earn trust for both him and Derek, and all of their friends. Especially when the pack won’t even admit to liking each other most of the time. The kids are all a work in progress, and the Sheriff is lucky to be there for them. Werewolves and all.
WORDS: 13,572
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
*borders and horizon lines by magneticwave
“Let me do this nice thing for you, Derek, no strings attached,” said nobody ever.
WORDS: 14,833
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
*Help Wanted by Jebiwonkenobi
Nice things begin to happen to Derek Hale and it kind of freaks him out.
WORDS: 15,593
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
Can I Keep You? by wearing_tearing
After practically being raised watching Buffy, The X-Files, and Ghostbusters, Stiles liked to think his reaction to seeing a shimmery shadow resembling a seventeen year old boy floating ten inches above ground and glaring fiercely at him wouldn’t be to let out a high pitch scream, try to karate chop him, and then, when that obviously didn’t work, throw a basketball at him.
A basketball that just went right through the boy’s stomach.
or, the Sterek Casper AU.
WORDS: 16,005
CHAPTERS: 6/6
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
Imagine Me And You by callunavulgari
“My name,” the kid tells Derek, sounding amused. “It’s Stiles. I figure if I’m going to wrestle a complete stranger for a pumpkin the least I can do is offer my name afterwards.”
“Stiles,” Derek tries, testing the way the name sits on his tongue. “I’m Derek.”
“Derek,” Stiles breathes, like he’s testing the weight of the name too. He grins, bright and blinding, which Derek guesses means that he likes the sound of it. “I’d offer to shake your hand, but since we almost got to second base a minute ago, I’d say we’re past that point.”
WORDS: 16,080
CHAPTERS: 6/6
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
Regression to the Mean by theroguesgambit
There aren’t really words for this. “Sure, dude. Let’s hang out sometime and bond over the fact that our lives suck and we’ve both basically killed a bunch of people by accident” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. –
Prompt: In the aftermath of 3B, Stiles and Derek learn to trust, learn to fuck, and learn to love themselves, each other, and their pack.
WORDS: 16,580
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: ptsd (both stiles and derek)
We’ll be Better Around the Second Time by Cantabo
It’s been months. Months of fading contact with the pack. Months of the silent treatment from his father. Months of nothing but himself and the occasional lesson with Deaton to entertain him.
It’s too much, and eventually, Stiles leaves.
For years, everything goes great, until of course his dad gets injured, and he is suddenly forced to deal with people he thought he left behind in his past for good.
OR: Stiles gets pushed out of the pack, hits the road, makes new friends, learns how to grow up, and falls in love.
WORDS: 26,589
CHAPTERS: 12/12
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: None
You Can’t Dodge Stiles Stilinski by stilinskisparkles
“And this is it?” he points at the first girl. “I saw you in first period, you barely bothered to catch any of the balls you were tossed. I’m pretty sure you spent more time on your cell.”
The girl rolls her eyes, and looks completely unashamed of the fact she had her phone out in class. Derek knows Finstock would have stepped on it.
“And you,” he points at the second girl, taller and with eyes that meet Derek’s coolly. “You can’t throw anything worth half a damn. And what are you,” he points at the boy, trying not to look him in the eye, and failing. “A hundred and fifty pounds wet?”
The boy smirks at him, and Derek looks resolutely away. He’s now desperately trying not to picture him wet.
“I can’t work with this.”
WORDS: 27,250
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: underage (nothing sexual happens until stiles is 18 but theres flirting and stuff between stiles and derek while he’s 17) teacher-student relationship
A Perfect Storm by keeperofstories & queenofday
The first time Derek sees him is on the Subway.
The fifth time Derek spots him, the boy has a split lip and an angry alpha threatening him.
(OR: Where Scott is a really bad boyfriend and Derek ends up being Stiles’ hero)
WORDS: 30,848
CHAPTERS: 7/7
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: Graphic violence, abusive relationships, domestic violence
Take Me Out To The Ball Game (Or to dinner, I’m easy either way) by Whisper91
In which single-father Derek Hale falls head over heels for his sons’ new Little League coach. Unsurprisingly, it’s all Laura’s fault.
WORDS: 32,556
CHAPTERS: 7/7
RATING:Mature
WARNINGS: so much fluffff (says theres 7/8 chapters finished but im pretty sure its complete as it hasnt been updated in 2 years and the ending of ch7 is super nice and fluffy)
To Each Their Own by SylvieW
Stiles agrees to become the owner of a werewolf with some very special needs. Derek has been abused for so long he’s nearly feral. Stiles has to find a way to gain his trust before Derek’s heat, or he could be put down.
WORDS: 32,668
CHAPTERS: 10/10
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: !!heed the tags!! dub-con, werewolves are pretty much slaves, kate argent warning. abusive kate.
**Ghosts In The Suburbs by Hypocorismm
Stiles gets cursed by a witch and can see dead people. 
WORDS: 37,263
CHAPTERS: 15/15
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: angst
You Look Like Bad News (i gotta have you) by standinginanicedress
Option A : violently tell Derek that they are under no circumstances ever to hook up again because it was stupid and dumb.
Option B : tell Scott the truth, stand back and watch as Scott kills Derek with his bare hands so Stiles doesn’t even have to face the music. Not an option at all, actually. Expunge this from the record.
The real Option B : calmly explain to Derek that the situation is too fucked up and hey, maybe if Derek and Scott ever shake hands and make up, he and Stiles can hook up again because, man…it was great.
Option C : forget everything, charge headfirst into danger like fuckin’ Bravehart and have sex with Derek all over again.
Option D : bury himself alive and wait for the worms to eat him.
WORDS: 38,954
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: none
***Come with Me and Walk the Longest Mile by  DevilDoll
“Stiles shouldn’t accept rides from werewolves he meets behind abandoned convenience stores.” In which the zombie apocalypse is just one of their worries.
WORDS: 39,275
CHAPTERS: 4/4
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: underage
Killer Smile by Black_Calliope
One. Two. Seven. How many times should a killer strike before getting called 'serial’?
Or the one where Stiles works as a member of a Behavioral Analysis Unit, gets insulted quite a lot, learns that love doesn’t always take the shortest path and cultivates an illicit relationship with a coffee mug. Not necessarily in that order. Also, Boyd has a thing for explosives and Lydia is the most BAMF coroner ever. Derek doesn’t get his spring rolls because he doesn’t deserve them. Neither does Stiles, but that’s another whole story.
WORDS: 51,434
CHAPTERS: 1/1
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of Violence
**Those Are The Days That Bind Us by  s_a_m
His father wasn’t stupid. He was an officer of the law, trained to look for patterns. He confronted Stiles about werewolves and they shouted and Stiles tried to explain but his father was so, so, so mad, more mad than Stiles had ever seen him, ever in all his life and then his father looked at him and said,
“It’s like you’re not my son anymore.”
And Stiles broke.
WORDS: 52,171
CHAPTERS: 5/5
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: angst, PTSD, violence, gore, implied/referenced non-con, death of an unborn baby, panic attacks
[Sleep]Walking After You by relenafanel
Derek is a sleepwalker who keeps wandering into his downstairs neighbour’s bedroom.
Stiles is pretty sure the hot guy from the park is going to kill him in his sleep. He knows he shouldn’t have been so obvious about objectifying the guy’s really fine ass.
Too bad it turns out Derek is easier to get along with when he’s sleeping.
WORDS: 56,551
CHAPTERS: 10/10
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: none
***Safety in Silence by Survivah
It’s perfectly understandable. Even Derek wouldn’t want to be Derek’s soulmate.
WORDS: 66,901
CHAPTERS: 5/5
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: none
The More Things Change by KouriArashi
Ten years ago, there was a major war between the supernatural world and the mundane. Now Beacon Hills is cut off and the Argents are in control, and the supernatural creatures are slowly being hunted down. But when Stiles, who was adopted by the Argents after the death of his parents, makes friends with the Hale Pack, things start to change…
WORDS: 80,378
CHAPTERS: 18/18
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: Graphic Violence
***One life stand by Vendelin
Stiles is used to selling himself to make ends meet. But it’s getting harder to keep those ends meeting, and there’s only so much of Stiles to go around. Until a too-fancy car shows up in his neighborhood, and he meets Derek Hale.
All Derek wants is Stiles’s time, someone to stay on his arm for events and smile for the cameras. It’s the easiest job Stiles has ever had, the best-paying one he’s ever had, and he’s more than happy to sign up.
Derek is everything and nothing Stiles expects him to be, with his tailored suits, sharp mind and his quiet way of caring. But it’s just a job and Stiles never meant to fall in love.
WORDS: 84,278
CHAPTERS: 6/6
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: read tags for warnings
Into The Open Air by Acherona & trulywicked
It was a little strange moving back to Beacon Hills. His daughter becoming enchanted with his odd and very attractive neighbor didn’t really help matters.
WORDS: 99,482
CHAPTERS: 22/22
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: Violence
Hallowed Grounds by damnfancyscotch
Everything in Beacon Hills is the same when Stiles comes home from college.
Well, except for the fact that he’s a published author now, Scott is halfway across the world with a travelling circus, Erica’s epilepsy has been cured, her boss offers him a job too, and there’s this weird black dog that seems to be following him around just to judge him.
Oh, and the murders, of course.
But other than that stuff… totally the same old BH.
WORDS: 109,578
CHAPTERS: 16/16
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Bruises and Bitemarks by oblivions172
Biologically, Stiles is weak. When he presented as an omega, he knew that to be the truth but that never stopped him from running his mouth as a defense mechanism. However, it could only save him so many times before he ended up pissing off the wrong person. After he’s attacked in the parking lot outside of school, Stiles realizes he can no longer protect himself with just pure wit and sarcasm. When the attack lands him in the hospital, his dad forces him to pick between two options, report the alphas who attacked him or join a kickboxing gym run by omega rights activist and alpha, Derek Hale, a man Stiles has been in love with for many years.
WORDS: 121,566
CHAPTERS: 27/27
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: !!Read Tags!!
1K notes · View notes
smallblanketfort · 7 years
Note
do you have tips on taking notes?
yes!! i have many, so i tried to make it easier for you to navigate :)
L O N G post ahead of you, covering lecture notes and readings notes, from a college senior :)
lecture notes:
i suggest using a notebook and pen, physically writing down. it’s easier to study, and since it’s using your body, you have a much higher retention rate on your side than if you use a laptop.
i have used my laptop for taking notes before. it’s easier to take more notes, word for word, but that’s not always helpful. maybe that’s your style, especially if you enjoy rewriting your notes all pretty and more successfully when you get home. i am not that girl. 
more notes does not always equal better! it’s good for you to listen actively, selecting what is important and what is not. i take very thorough notes. i take a lot of notes. if you need notes for a missed class, i. am. your. girl. that doesn’t mean i write out everything word for word. selecting details, clauses, and images really helps me to not only keep up, but also to memorize later. plus, when you’re typing, it’s easier to type all the words out without really processing the whole meaning. remember that dense notes are harder to study
finally, when you write by hand, you can get more creative with your style. occasionally, i’ll web notes out from one, rather than a traditional outline, bc it makes more sense for the topic
it also helps my anxiety! so much! if i force myself to take great in depth notes, then my mind has to dedicate more brain space to the task at hand than to my anxieties.
stick to one of these though. it really sucks to get into a test and realize you didn’t study half of your notes bc you forgot half were on your laptop. it’s awful lol.
if you use a laptop, get used to how it works first. do u know how much i resent trying to switch from a bullet that is under other bullets (like this one, not filled in) to a main point bullet (the ones filled in). it can be so confusing. also make sure you use a program you like. you can take directly into documents, but i find that i really love evernote, as i can make notebooks for classes, stacks of notebooks for my college, and that i can tag notes with specific classes and topics.
if you’re on paper, for fuck’s sake, divide your notebook into sections for classes. keep it all together. those notebooks with handy dandy dividers are so helpful, and they keep you from carrying around 5 notebooks at once.
i wouldn’t worry too much about highlighters and such in class. there’s just so much going on then. save highlighting and color coding for later, and count it as studying.
don’t worry about traditional outlining styles, with roman numerals or whatever. i take notes very simply. bullets/dashes, subnotes under a broad note. 
do it how it makes sense to you! maybe that includes different bullet styles, different places for different types of information (on a simple level, i start writing chapter numbers and titles as far to the left as i can go, over the margins, in bold and capital letters. i also usually go over these later in a certain color marker)
in some classes it is helpful for me to write the topic along the top of the page in a highlighter (color coding is lovely) the main idea/topic for each page. the classes this was most obviously helpful in were astronomy (COMETS or BLACKHOLES etc) and shakespeare (MUCH ADO ACT 2 or ROMEO etc)
it’s easiest to just note page numbers of referenced complex diagrams, as they are usually in your reading or accessible online
your style might look different in each class. whatever works.
note everything (everything) your professor writes on the board. if it’s important enough for your professor to write it, it’s probably important enough for you to write it.
note examples only if it’s helpful for your memory. however, make light note of things like famous people and their science/psych experiments. but in math and such, note! the! examples! and! reasons! will help you so much.
examples that have emotion, imagery, or sound are going to be more helpful. applicable examples are most helpful. good professors will lecture you accordingly. lazy ones will not.
star anything that the professor stresses or hints will be tested. anything that they say is a major theme or whatever.
note main ideas/points/themes, definitions, conclusions, 
use your tests to help you figure out what you need to know. ask questions about the tests too. in every class i’ve taken, i’m totally shocked at how willingly people ask about exam format and how willingly the professor will tell us how it will work. they want you to succeed.
people learn differently! i suggest taking notes in class and later adding touches that help you. count it as study time too. a warm up, if you will. 
if you’re visual, this might include highlighting, color coding, drawing diagrams, etc.
 if you’re an auditory learner, reading the notes out loud and organizing them accordingly, as well as making up rhymes, rhythms and such, might help you. some auditory learners actually like to record lectures and listen to them later. 
if you learn best through movement, rewriting or making flashcards will be great for you.
sometimes professors go really. fuckin. fast. why. idk? but
dont be afraid to ask them to go back a slide bc i guarantee, you will be the class hero for asking
develop a little bit of shorthand. sometimes i end up using initials, arrows, abbreviations… this is where i got “bc” and “thru” and “u” and such. lol. also, list things vertically, rather than using commas and “and/&/+) it’ll be more clear later
some professors you literally cannot take notes on. it sucks. you’re going to need to do the readings and pick their brains on how the test will be to figure out how to prepare. take home tests are your best friend. thank god for them. seriously. get your butt to church and do some worshipping.
if your professor puts powerpoints online, save the powerpoints, ya never know.
look at inspiration if you want, but remember that notes on studyblr are usually copied from class notes. if you’re too focused on how pretty your notes are, good luck to you
finally, the day before an exam, i review my notes that i have (hopefully) been studying. i like to make a one page cheat sheet / study guide on everything i didn’t remember, leaving out everything i understand, memorized, or want to disregard. 
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reading notes:
ima be real and tell you i hardly ever do reading unless i will be tested on it in class in multiple choice. and im an english student. ye i suck, i know. i dont condone shirking the system but u know what, reading shakespeare or 18th century lit literally makes me want to kill myself. so, im a senior in college, and have barely ever done the reading for a class. the thing is, if you do it right, anything is better than just reading the words on the page and not getting the meaning. dont be a reading zombie. read actively, even if it’s not the actual reading. doing this, i have a 3.9 gpa. so. there’s hope for us yet.
first of all, yall need to do your damn reading. idc how. but due to the fact that a test will be multiple choice, essay answer, a presentation, or a paper, you’re going to not love pulling nothing out of your ass. can be done tho. just be fake deep.
that being said, i’m writing a lot below, but the reality is that if it’s lit, your notes dont have to be longer than a sentence. if it’s a textbook, more.
the same formatting question comes into play here, except it’s should you take notes in your book or in a notebook?
listen i’m always going to be pro notebook, pro physically writing it out as it helps me really get the information into my head, rather than more passively highlighting
i tend to do both, if im willing to mark up a book. i underline and highlight things that stick out to me, and i write them down as well. sometimes when reading literature/essays, if i know the contextual/meaning notes will be interesting to me later, i will copy notes both into my notebook and also less in depth onto post it notes (which also make sweet little flashcards btw), which i will stick into the passage. this is so helpful when a) im reading it again later and b) when we are discussing a passage in class
buy used books. it’s cheaper. until it happens to u, u do NOT UNDERSTAND how EXCITING it is to get a book that has highlights and underlines in it ALREADY. DUDE. my work is basically DONE for me. now take that lightly, bc often different ppl will highlight different pieces of information. however, it is helpful.
look up summaries. do not simply rely on cliffsnotes and sparknotes, esp since professors are very aware of these. google “title of book, summary, chapter notes, whatever youre looking for” and use the blog posts, the book reviews, the papers that come up. does this method probably take a bit longer? maybe? but it’s easier on my tired brain.
if you don’t have time to read your textbook one day and really want to, read the introduction and the conclusion to the chapter, or the first and last sentences to the paragraphs. it’s not great, but it’s something.
like your lectures, note definitions, conclusions, and helpful examples, as well as people and dates. if i’m reading literature and i’m deciding to be a smart student i will keep several logs as well. these logs will make it so. easy. to study for your exam:
updated character lists, including name, relationships, and anything defining and important
scene/chapter summaries, just a sentence summarizing what happened where
any quotes or themes that stand out
i highly highly highly recommend getting your hands on a copy of the well educated mind for note taking on a range of genres. this is what i had to use through high school and while it’s involved, it’s incredibly helpful.
if you’re going to have to cite your notes, note the page number in the margin every time you flip the page
the biggest issue i have with reading is when and where to do it. before or after class? always ask your professor if they do not tell you. where in your notebooks? i always do it on the next blank page bc leaving space stresses me the fuck out. make notes on the top of your pages of corresponding lectures/readings. 
for both lectures and readings i really really really suggest either having something to drink or something to snack on (think fruit, loose nuts, m&ms. small loose things rather than things u bite? idk they just last longer?)
okay i hope this was somewhat helpful even tho it’s an incredibly longwinded post. it seems like a lot, but the reality is that while i take a lot of notes, i don’t make them complicated, i don’t have rules, i just do what feels right in the moment. they’re not at all stressful. just take it easy and do whatever works for you :) 
if anyone has other tips, feel free to reply :)
377 notes · View notes
notgoingtohappen · 7 years
Text
Revenge, Interrupted (Part 15)
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14
Dedicated to @alldafeelsformyotps-steroline for the best tags anyone could ever ask for :)
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Caroline stirred awake under the covers when the quiet alarm on her phone went off. She felt Stefan’s arm around her waist– really, again? She propped herself up on her elbows, reaching over as carefully as she could to sleepily turn it off so she didn’t wake him.
When she turned back, her eyes widened she saw him stirring awake.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he realised he was spooning her and he quickly pulled his arm back.
“Morning” she mumbled.
“Morning” his voice was husky with sleep and made her heart skip a beat.
They lay in silence for a few seconds, on their sides, their faces close together on their pillows.
“Sorry I woke you.” she added.
He glanced sleepily at the clock. “It’s six in the morning.”
“I like to get up early.”
He seemed to smile a little. “You know sleep is good for you, right? Some even call it beauty sleep.”
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“Shut up” she said laughing.
“You know, I was getting some really good sleep before your chirpy alarm went off” he teased.
“Yeah well, that’s what happens with you cuddle with me.” 
The words were out of her mouth before she realised what she was saying. She felt herself going red and inwardly cursed herself. She would never have said that if her mind wasn’t so foggy with sleep.
“Friends cuddle, right?” he asked, looking at her with an expression she couldn’t decipher.
“Sure. Cuddling is good for sleep.” she muttered.
He didn’t seem to find the situation that awkward. “No one should have to wake up at this ungodly hour if they don’t have school or work,” he said dramatically. 
The prospect of extra sleep in Stefan’s warm bed wasn’t that bad. “An hour more won’t hurt anymore” she agreed.
And then they were just lying there, gazing into each other’s eyes and smiling.
She sighed. “It’s gonna be hard to fall back asleep.”
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He nodded like he had just decided something with a mischievous look in his eyes. “No it won’t,” he said and suddenly wrapped his arm around her waist again.
She giggled, ignoring the swoop of her stomach. “What are you doing?”
“Cuddling again. It promotes good sleep, right? And for now, we go to sleep.” he said matter-of-factly.
“Gee, thanks” she grinned and turned over so he could put his arm around her properly.
“Goodnight– or early morning.”
She rolled her eyes, hoping she wasn’t blushing at the contact as he seemed to pull her closer slightly. “Go to sleep, Stefan.”
“You too, Caroline”
She found herself smiling again at his dumb banter and felt her eyelids drooping. Yep, this was good, she thought. Then she snuggled back into his chest and fell asleep.
~*~
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When Caroline woke up again, the bed was empty. Her hand lingered on Stefan’s side for a moment before she snapped out of it and got up.
She took her bag into the bathroom, brushed her teeth, ran her fingers through her hair and made her way out to the living room.
“Hey” Stefan greeted her, eating cereal.
“Hey”
“So what’s your plan for today?”
“No clue. Chill in my new apartment I guess. You?”
“Yeah, same. Breakfast?”
She smiled. “I’ll eat it later at my place. Bye, boyfriend.”
He smiled back. “Bye, girlfriend.”
~*~
“There she is!” Bonnie exclaimed as Caroline entered. She was sitting on the couch, forehead creased, three notebooks lying in front of her.
“What’s up Bonnie?”
“Ugh, teacher stuff. I need to figure out a system to organize this stuff. Teaching first graders is hard work.”
“Hello, you’re talking to Caroline Forbes. What do you need help with?”
Bonnie had just explained her problem to Caroline and set her thinking when Elena stumbled into the living room, dragged herself to the coffee, and sank onto a chair.
“Morning.” she croaked.
Caroline laughed. “I almost forgot what a zombie you are in the morning.”
Elena looked up quickly. “Care! Oh my god, how was it? Tell us everything!”
Caroline realised she was talking about sex. Which she was supposed to have had last night. With her supposed boyfriend. “It was awesome.”
“So we’re talking better than Tyler? Ooh, or better than Jesse?” Bonnie asked.
“Uh, yeah, totally.” she tried not to blush.
Elena looked at her kind of suspiciously. “Okay then.”
Caroline changed the topic. “I’m just going to be here in my new room today.”
“I’m going to Enzo’s,” Bonnie said.
“My internship at the hospital starts toda,” Elena informed them.
Caroline looked at the clock. “Uh, Elena, it’s 9…”
“Fuck!” Elena slammed her mug onto the table and dashed into her room. She stuck her head out a few seconds later. “Call Damon now!!”
“Heathen.” Caroline muttered as she grabbed a napkin to wipe the coffee splatter off of the table.
A few minutes later, Elena rushed out fully dressed. “I’ll be okay, right? It’s just orientation day, right? Okay, see you!”
“You’ll be great.” Bonnie and Caroline gave her a quick hug.
~*~
After she had showered, Caroline sat on her bed, scrolling through Instagram.
There was a knock on her door and Bonnie plopped down next to her. 
“Hey, Bonnie.”
“Hi. Ugh, I feel like we have less time to talk lately.”
Caroline sighed. “I know, but we’re roommates now, so that should change.”
Bonnie nodded. How are things with Stefan?” she asked.
Caroline smiled at her. “They’re amazing. He’s perfect.”
“Is it serious?”
“Yeah, I haven’t felt this way about anyone in ages. It’s totally different from all my previous relationships. I think… I think I could maybe love him.“
Bonnie’s smile morphed into a look of confusion. “Really? Does he know? When did this happen, you guys just met!”
Caroline laughed. “I don’t know if he knows. Or feels the same way. We just click. It’s easy to talk to him, like the hours just sort of fly by. He’s kind and funny. Even his brooding and nerdiness are cute. He’s so hot and such a good kisser and such a good cook–” she trailed off when she saw Bonnie smiling radiantly at her.
“I’m so happy you have that, Caroline. You deserve it.” she leaned over and hugged her, and pulled away when there was a knock on the doorway. They turned to find Enzo standing there.
“Ready to go, love?”
“Yep. See you later!” Bonnie grinned as she walked out.
Caroline got up and started pacing the loft as the dread settled in. 
She’d meant every single word. There was no more denying it. She liked Stefan. She really had feelings for him. She’d meant every word she’d told Bonnie. It had taken saying it out loud for her to finally face it.
She’d ruined their plan. It was pathetic. He obviously didn’t reciprocate. She wasn’t in control of her feelings anymore and it sucked.
Feeling both anxious and horrible, she moved to sit cross-legged on the bed and pulled out her phone. She checked her emails, her texts, social media, and was just about to pick up her book when she got a call from her mom.
“Mom, hi! It’s been days, I’m so sorry I haven’t called. Oh, I miss you!” she excitedly.
“Caroline, baby, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Liz Forbes’s voice was serious and subdued. 
Caroline’s heart sank.
16
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