Had to say goodbye to my dog Bruce yesterday.
I'm a wreck.
But reaching the age of nine and succumbing to natural causes (degradation of his spinal tissue) was nothing short of miraculous given that over the course of his life, he had
Eaten rat poison
Had a heated argument with a scorpion
Fought at least two venomous snakes and won
Had to be prevented from fighting a feral cow
Escaped the yard of a friend who was dogsitting him, skipped town and was found two months later living in an off-grid shack with a hardcore survivalist guy who hunts camels with a bow and arrow and is known to have eaten his own dog at least once.
Escaped from a yard with an eight foot barbed wire fence (not a scratch on him)
Developed a habit of licking cane toads to get high off the poison
One time just straight up swallowed a cane toad whole (puked it up and had Tummy Hurt for a day, no other apparent side effects)
TORE A LIGHT SWITCH PANEL OUT OF THE WALL (Electrician was simultaneously horrified and impressed, it left scorch marks on the wall but Bruce seemed unfazed and unscathed by the experience)
Now, don't get me wrong, he was a sweet boy and a generally laid back chill kinda guy. Everyone liked him. But he sure had his "hold my beer" moments.
Goodbye, old friend. Despite your best efforts, you lived long enough to have your first grey hairs. You've probably given me a few along the way too.
...Nine years still seems too short.
I will measure your life in stories instead.
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The most unrealistic thing about Trolls Band Together is how little Branch's brothers teased him about getting a girlfriend. I'm sorry, but after seeing how they all reacted to him after 20 years, treating him like a baby despite looking older than some of them (those stress marks, man), there is no way they wouldn't have mercilessly poked fun at him for it, or told more embarrassing things to Poppy about him besides showing her his old baby pictures.
I mean, Bruce is literally a father, there's no way he wouldn't have jokingly said they needed to give Branch The Talk.
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Damian was placed in the Pits to prove he could survive as an infant.
Only...the pits didn't give him back.
Danny was taking a trip to a weird, rank area of the Infinite Realms per Clockworks request, when a fuckin baby plopped in through a portal.
A baby.
Naturally, Danny snatched the kid up and flew as fast as he could back home.
He turns back to his human form just as the basement door slams open.
Danny stares up at his mom and dad.
They stare down at him.
"I found a baby in the portal," is the only thing Danny can make his mouth say.
His parents are thrilled to welcome another kid into the family, no matter how grumpy the little tyke seems.
In Nanda Parbat, Talia cannot find her son. He isn't in the pit; he just. Disappeared into it.
So he went somewhere.
She promises her father she will find Damian, but Ra's has another idea.
He calls Bruce Wayne to Nanda Parbat, with a simple letter.
"We have lost the child you had with Talia. My condolences."
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